#and is felt this separation between what he was saying;i understood the point he was trying to get across

[vampvelvet]

I've been thinking a lot lately about how I've been doing better mentally these past few weeks and a lot of it boiled down to things people have been telling me my whole life. I mean, I had gone through traumatic events some years ago which caused depression. then I fell into a codependent friendship which has worsened my mental state. only now that I have backed out of that friendship and started to think more about myself and how I feel, did I figure out how to keep myself going well.

I found hobbies im interested in, I've been using music I adore to keep my spirits up, I've been getting outside more, getting more exercise, using my phone less, living more in the moment, diversifying my friendships, taking time for myself, etc etc etc

and seeing myself improving in these ways makes me feel optimistic, thinking, these are the things that helped me, they can help you too! it's easy to get excited about that.

but none of those things were the solution to my problem. those were parts of healing, ways to keep my rhythm, ways to give me energy when I feel like going back to what I typically do when I'm depressed.

but they weren't *the solution*. and that made me realize why only now I'm following all this advice that I had been given to me for years and years. why people get so cynical and annoyed when others try to motivate them into getting out of their depression. because staying inside, staying sedentary, overusing phones, avoiding socializing, etc- those things aren't the cause of issues, they're the *symptoms*. and when someone is in a terrible mental state they're not going to realize/notice/care about the things that they're using to cope with their lives.

I don't know what the solution is. everyone's lives are different. for me, it was getting out of a codependent friendship. I don't have the answers. but it's going to be something bigger than just 'getting out more'.

people have to see the future on their own. there are moments when people realize that they have to take their life into their own hands. nothing is easy, but things can get better.

long rant in the tags if you're interested. take care <3

[kyluff]

— ↺ ‘When He Eat The Cookie He Got Good Form’

✎ luffy + zoro + sanji x reader !

✦ summary ➠ one piece men eating you out blurbs

✦ warnings ➠ nsfw, cunnilingus, swearing, almost getting caught

✦ note ➠ 3000+ LIKES ON MY CLINGY GOJO POST?!? thats actually insane, I’m so happy thank you for all the support 😨🫶

✪ Monkey D. Luffy

— You felt shaking, hands were on you and vigorously pushing and pulling you. Your eyes weren’t open yet, they couldn’t, you were just sleeping a few seconds ago and now you were being rudely awaken. Keeping your eyes closed, you called out for your boyfriend.

“What, what is it Luffy?” You sighed, shoving your face further in the blanket, trying to go back to the time when you were still sound asleep. “It’s still nighttime, go back to bed.”

He whined out, nuzzling his face in your neck. “But I’m hungry.”

Of course he is, you shook your head in annoyance. “That’s what you woke me up for? Wait and eat in the morning like the rest of us.”

Luffy licked your cheek, leaving heavy and warm breaths on it. He always was so impatient when he wanted something, especially when hunger was what he wanted. “But I cant.”

You were shocked, you really shouldn’t be though, he was obsessed with food to point where it was slightly unhealthy. You forcefully shoved his face away from you, making him fall on his side of the bed. “Well too bad, now go to sleep.”

“I can’t, not when I’m so hungry.” He huffed out, sounding defeated by his own words, at least it seemed like he was done with this stunt. But you felt bad a little bit, if he was so hungry that he couldn’t even sleep, then that’s an issue.

“If you’re really that hungry go to the kitchen.” That was the final thing you were going to say, now you were for real going to sleep.

You felt him shuffling beside you and the bed swaying from his movement. It melt like he was moving down the bed, making it to the foot of it. You ignored him, just wanting this to be over.

He disappeared under to covers for a minute, lifting your leg and placing himself between them. “Why would I go to the kitchen? My foods already right here.”

For the first time that night your eyes fluttered open, taking a moment to adjust to the environment. You reached in the dark for the light, turning it on and removing the cloth that separated the two of you, bLuffy was there, resting his cheek on your thigh. He had a lazy and goofy smile on his face like he always did, but his eyes were different. His eyes stared into your soul, hunger definitely evident in his gaze.

“Oh,” That’s all you could say, you had just been waken and had to face this. “You’re that type of hungry.”

The man between your limbs nodded eagerly, relieved that you had finally understood him. He had awoken in the middle of the night and the feeling washed over him, he couldn’t sleep after that, he needed you.

“Well, eat then.” That’s all it took for him rip off your shorts and underwear, revealing you to him. You could never deny your boyfriend, even if it was so late, not when he looked so longingly up at you.

He delve in instantly, not being able to wait any longer. His mouth was wide open against your folds, sucking and nudging them how ever he wished. Luffy didn’t focus on anywhere in particular when he ate you out, he liked to pay attention to every part of you down there, making it a messy operation, your juices spread across his face and everywhere on your thighs.

“Oh-h, so good.” This session Luffy seemed to really want it, he was licking so aggressively and tugged harshly at your lips. You weren’t complaining, the pleasure was almost unbearable.

It wasn’t till he placed a bite on your clit that you felt the beginnings of your end. He’s never done this before, but the new found trick brought you dangerously close to your climax.

“Do it again!” You pleaded, wanting to feel that same sensation from before. And he listened, using his canine to squish your bud, he lapped at the same spot to soothe it. You came undone, Luffy crawled up your body and dropped onto your chest, you noticed he had a soft grin on his face.

“You really were hungry, huh?” Your fingers started playing and twirling mindlessly with his hair.

“Mhm.” He hummed, closing his eyes from the comfort he received at the mercy of your hands. You too shut your eyes, being able to sleep again.

✪ Roronoa Zoro

— If there was one thing you knew about your boyfriend, it was how much he liked eating pussy. He’d eat it from the back, he’d eat it in sixty nine, he’d eat in the shower. He would literally do it anywhere at anytime. A position he hadn’t tried though was you sitting on his face.

So right now, he decided that you were going to sit on his face, but you were having some difficulty with that. You hovered over his awaiting mouth, using the headboard of the bed to hold yourself up.

“Sit on my face already.” He wrapped his buff arms around your thighs, attempting to pull you down on his face.

“Z-Zoro, don’t you think I’ll be to heavy?” You quivered, not letting him win the tug of war you were having.

“Don’t care,” The greened haired man loosened his grip, letting you raise slightly. “Just want to taste you.”

You bit your lip, thinking about how desperate his expression looked, you could tell he really wanted this and who were you to deny? You reluctantly lowered yourself closer to his face, making sure not to have your whole weight on him.

His lips chased yours, coming up to meet your dripping core where it was above him. He slowly made out with it, messily sucking and slurping. He quickly shook his face in your heat, spreading the juices he has created.

“Fucking come here.” His words were muffled against your skin as he forced you to fully sit down on his face. Your cheeked flushed in embarrassment, worrying if you were to much for your boyfriend to bare. You tried to get off, but the strong arms on your legs kept you in place.

“Zoro!” You whimpered, grasp tightening on the wooden frame.

He only carried on, now comfortable with the position you were in, nice and snug to his face. His tongue worked quick and tight circles on your bud, not stopping until he heard a moan rip from your vocal cords.

You glanced down on him through your droopy eyes, he was also looking up at you. His eyes always stood out to you, they were always stern and fierce, staring right through you.

He kept eye contact with you as he face moved deeper into you, his nose becoming smaller in size. Your stomach did flips in response, contracting as you felt tingling down there.

He smiled into you, he could see how much you liked sitting on his face, and to think on how you were so against it before.

His grin became bigger as he noticed how close you were, this might be the quickest he’s ever made you come.

Picking up his pace, he pushed you over the edge until you came undone onto his smushed face. “How do you like the new position now?”

✪ Vinsmoke Sanji

— You were becoming very annoyed at your boyfriends current antics, he’s been at it for what it felt like hours now. You sat on a chair in the kitchen, attempting to enjoy the beautiful meal that Sanji had prepared for you. That task was almost impossible though, due to the man that was positioned at your feet in front your chair.

“For the tenth time, Sanji, the answer is no.” You huffed out, stabbing another piece of food with your fork.

“Please, Y/n! Just one taste!” He begged, smushing his blushing face against your exposed knee. You had decided to wear a skirt today as it was very warm outside, it seemed to have an affect on the blonde man.

“I’m trying to eat, can’t you wait until I’m at least finished?” You wiggled your leg, trying to shake the man attached to your knee off of you.

His grasp became harder, slowing your movements until they stopped totally. His face moved closer, it reached the hem of your skirt where he brought his fingers to fidget with it softly. “I can’t wait, need it right now.”

Normally you wouldn’t put up such a fuss, but you were in the kitchen, anyone could walk in whenever they wanted. “Sanji, what if someone came in? Like if Luffy got hungry and ran in, what then?”

“I’ll be quick, promise.” He started laying quick kisses on your thighs, his eyes still looked at you from below waiting for your response.

You thought about it for a moment, sighing in defeat. “You promise?” He nodded eagerly, eyes filled with lust as he glanced up at you. You nodded your head in agreement, once you gave him the go ahead he immediately flipped your skirt and dived straight in, head disappearing under the flowy material.

At first he kissed you through the cloth that separated him from your bare pussy, his breath was warm when it fanned onto you. He pulled your underwear off, revealing everything to him.

For some reason unknown to you as you couldn’t see Sanji because of your bottoms he paused in his tracks, not going further.

“You said you’d be fast, get on with it and eat me out already.” You gave him time to resume his prior actions but when he refused and stayed in his place, you threw the skirt up off his head. “What are yo-”

“Just admiring my pretty girl.” Anyone would assume that he was referring to you, but you knew what he was talking about and it wasn’t your face. It was your cunt.

“Shut up.” You forced his face into your core, you couldn’t look at him any longer, just thinking about his words made a wave of heat form in your lower stomach.

Your boyfriend didn’t protest, starting to lick long strips up your slit, sucking on your bud when he reached it at the end. He repeatedly did this until he felt your juices slipping everywhere, now your hole was ready for his tongue. He slipped it inside, letting it slowly slide in to its full length.

You whimpered in response, hands flying to his yellow hair. “Keep going.”

He listened to your pleads, swirling his muscle around in circles before pulling out and searching upwards for your buzzing clit. You felt his lips wrap around it, applying suction on it, during all of this the tip of his tongue poked through his lips and flicked at your bud.

“So close, Sanji!” Your legs enclosed on his torso, trapping him. His actions became faster, suction harder and flicking harsher. It was all too much for your aching cunt, your climax was nearing.

Just as you were about to let go, you heard a voice coming from outside the door. “Sanji! I’m hungry when it food going to be ready!?”

“Have some patience Luffy, you pig!” He pulled away to yell at the pirate captain, stuffing his face back in like nothing had happened.

“Sanj-ji he’s going to walk in here!” You felt tears sting your eyes at the stressful situation that had a chance to occur, but the tears were also present in your eyes due to the fact that the feeling from before was back again.

The cook didn’t respond, eating you out the same as before the interruption. You panted, pawing at his locks as you came on Sanjis mouth.

He quickly licked it all up, placing your panties back on and flattened out your skirt to normal just in time before the energetic black haired boy came barreling through the kitchen doors.

[perpetuallyburntout]

“For good this time.”

Five Hargreeves x gn!reader

Summary: You and Five barely escape a mission without more than a few scratches, and an argument forms between you two. An old argument. One you’ve had many times. This time, however… there’s a note of finality in his voice.

Word Count: 1278

TW: angst, shouting, brief mention of blood

Five and I blinked into the warehouse, breaths ragged as we tried to control the racing of our hearts.

“Jesus Christ,” I panted. “That was… close.”

“Too close,” he sighed, scanning the large room. “You shouldn’t have come along.”

I took in the room as well. It was blissfully empty, and absolutely silent besides the sounds of our voices. Boxes covered the smooth concrete floors, shelves separated sections of the space, and the ceilings stretched up high. At least we had plenty to hide behind if anyone found us.

“You were better off with me there,” I pointed out as my gaze returned to his. “Better two than one.”

His hair was mussed, his lip bleeding from having it busted earlier. Bits of blood smattered his clothing, and I could only assume I looked just as unkempt. Still, he always managed to look breathtakingly handsome no matter his condition.

“Dont lie to yourself,” he scoffed, bringing my focus back to the present. “If you weren’t there, I wouldn’t have had to worry about your safety.”

“If I wasn’t there, you would have gotten injured, Five.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Okay, that’s not okay! Getting hurt isn’t supposed to be normal!”

“But it is, y/n. Get that through your head.”

I groaned, scrubbing my hands over my face. “You’re so impossible! Look, can we just get out of here?”

Five was quiet for several moments, brows furrowing as a strange look came into his eye. I narrowed my eyes slightly.

“…what is it?”

“We could have died back there,” he muttered, “You could have died back there.”

“Yes,” I said slowly, “but we didn’t. I’m fine. You’re fine. Everything’s fine.”

“No, no…” he mumbled. “It’s not fine. This shouldn’t be happening. Why do you insist on making me drag you along for all this?”

“Wh—what are you talking about?” I asked in disbelief. “You’re not dragging me along, I’m coming willingly. Because I care about you and want to help you.”

“You shouldn’t.”

The simple words made me pause for a moment. I blinked at him. “Shouldn’t… what? Care about you?”

“Yeah,” he replied, as if it were obvious.

“That’s ridiculous,” I said with a small scoff, smiling. “News flash, it’s too late for that. We’ve gone through more than enough together.”

He didn’t return my smile, looking down as he kicked at the ground. “More than enough. Far more. I should have left a long time ago.”

My smile vanished, and it took me several seconds to find the right words. “You… you have left. But you came back. Because you’ve realised that we’re better together than we are apart.”

He shook his head again, turning away. “I haven’t realised anything. I’ve just been too easy to sway. Too weak.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing!” I protested.

“I’m done letting you convince me to endanger you again,” he continued, ignoring me. “I’m done with it. All of it. I…” he turned to settle his green gaze on me. “I’m leaving for good this time.”

“You’re always leaving me, Five!” I hissed, starting to feel sick.

“I should never have stayed, y/n, that’s the problem!” He exclaimed, running a hand through his hair. “I gave you far too much opportunity to get attached.”

“For me to get attached? Just me? Never you, right?” I hissed.

“That’s not what I meant,” he began, wincing.

“But that’s what you said.”

“Okay, y/n, look,” he began to pace. “I thought you would have understood this by now. Understood me.”

I felt panicked tears began to burn in my eyes. “What is there to understand? That you’re too scared to commit to anything? That you can’t take responsibility for your actions?”

“That everything is temporary. That everything is fleeting, and things change, people change. Whatever’s happening between us… it’s just… one of those things.”

I froze, lips parted slightly as I stared at him. He didn’t meet my gaze.

“One of those things…?” I echoed softly, then my voice increased in pain and outrage. “One of those things? So all the late nights were ‘one of those things?’ All the things you said were ‘one of those things?’ All the moments we shared were ‘one of those things?’ Just something else for you to move on from? Forget about?”

“Never forget about,” he snapped, stalking towards me. “Say whatever you want, yell at me until your voice is raw. But never assume that I’d forget everything.”

“Then why are you trying to leave it all behind?” I asked desperately, the first tear beginning to roll down my cheek.

His voice wavered for a moment as he stepped away. “Isn’t it obvious? You never would have gotten hurt if it wasn’t for me. You never would have been in danger.”

“I don’t care about any of that!” I exclaimed.

“Well I do!” he snapped. “You could have lived a perfectly safe, normal life if it wasn’t for me!”

“It’s too late for that.” Desperation was clawing at me. I needed him to understand. I was running out of time.

“No, it’s not.” A pained smile found its way to his face. “I’m going to make sure nothing else ever happens to you.”

“No,” I breathed.

“I’m going to make sure you’re never in danger because of me again.”

“Stop it,” I choked on the words.

“I’m going to leave,” he said, speaking over my increasingly loud protests. “And I’m never coming back. And if you ever, ever try to find me, or any of my siblings, rest assured it will not end well for you. Got it?”

“No, Five, I don’t ‘got it!’” I screamed.

“Well, you better learn to.”

I saw tears glisten in his eyes as he tried to smile. It failed, and he rolled his shoulders, preparing to blink out as quickly as possible. I screamed his name, launching myself at him as quickly as I could. But my arms closed on empty air, and I hit the ground, pain shooting through my wrists as my hands slammed down first. He’d been too quick. I’d been too slow.

“Five!” I screamed again, a shudder wracking through my body. My tears fell more frequently now, staining my shirt and the ground below me. I gasped for breath, hardly able to breathe as wave after wave of desperation and grief washed over me. My sobs seemed to echo through the warehouse, nothing but deafening silence responding.

It wasn’t the first time we argued. It wasn’t the first time he tried to distance himself. But this was… different. He never sounded so sure of himself. He never had that look in his eye. He never… he never left me here like this.

There was some part of me that knew this was the last time. That I’d never speak to him again. That I’d never see him again. See his smug grins. See the way his eyes glinted when someone ticked him off. Hear his voice. Those rare, precious laughs. Feel the reverence each time he touched me, as if he were scared of breaking me.

If only he knew the exact opposite would be what truly made me break.

I wasn’t sure how long I stayed in that warehouse. My hands and knees had grown cold as the chill of the smooth concrete floor seeped into my skin. Even once my tears had dried, I shook as I stared at the ground, so full of emotion that I became numb to everything. I waited to hear footsteps. To hear a voice. His voice.

The loud ringing in my ears was all that kept me company.

[yanderenightmare]

Can you do league of villain in a frat boy au where Dabi loses a bet and Shigaraki tells him that a night with you (Dabi’s cute little girlfriend) is what he wants in return

Shigaraki Tomura

TW: NSFW, dubcon/noncon, drugging, mean Shiggy, none of reader's holes are safe...

fem reader

You weren’t too sure about dating Touya – or Dabi, as the rest of his shady friends call him – but you’d be lying if you said his wayward bad-boy persona didn’t stir up all those girly fantasies you’d spun ever since your first sexual awakening.

He stole you with those eyes of his – stove-top blue and narrowed at you with long mothlike lashes. That being said, you wished he wouldn’t drag you along for parties such as this.

You didn’t know anyone and didn’t want to either.

You tried speaking to the girl who seemed to be around your age, but the yellow of her eyes made you feel preyed on to the point that you went as far as flinching the moment she opened her mouth and showed you her fangs.

And Touya wasn’t paying you any attention either – lounging on the couch alongside a guy who seemed even more troubled. Cuts and cracks on his dry skin, wearing a dirty black hoodie ringed with dandruff you could spot from halfway across the room – messy silver curls escaping where he had it pulled over his head, casting shade over his beady red eyes – one with an old cut drawn over it.

They looked quite the menacing pair in the dark corner – two guys you’d never dare approach hadn’t you known Touya to be rather soft on the inside. Who knew, maybe the silver-haired one was the same – just a scared little boy with daddy issues?

Coming closer, you noticed they were arguing about something – though quietly, you understood that much with how sour Touya looked when you sat down beside him.

“What’s wrong, babe?” You asked softly, tangling your fingers gently within his while pouting up at him. “You want to leave?” You were only slightly ashamed to plant the idea – knowing you were asking out of your own selfish wishes to go home.

“Tch- He wants his girl to loosen up and drink something.” The friend in the other sofa nook scoffed, sliding you a red plastic cup with something brown and bubbly swirling inside it.

You looked at him and then at Touya, who didn’t do anything but give a lousy shrug. 

Rather bored, you looked back at the offer and slipped your hand out of the staples and leather – reaching over the coffee table separating you from the red-eyed shut-in, you accepted what he held out for you to take and took a look within the flimsy cup – nose wrinkling at the smell, knowing it was just beer but feeling dejected either way.

“How ‘bout a game?” He asked then.

“Nah,” Dabi answered, even though the question was posed to you.

“Oh- come on~ it’s rude to reject the host.” He argued back in a drawl, his voice scratchy, even more so than Dabi’s smoke-rotten one – his eyes still directed towards you. “I promise you a fun time. What do you say, sweet pea?”

Your eyes shifted between Touya and the other boy. But your boyfriend wasn’t paying you much attention anyway – so you decided, why not?

“What kind of game?”

The one who'd asked snickered then. “Not a game you’ve played before, that’s for sure... but don’t be scared- Dabi here’ll help you out. You can be a team if it gets too hard for yah.” He had a condescending grin stretched across his face.

You felt an inch of regret at the sight of it, though it was paired with a contrasting will to prove him wrong.

Your pride defeated your regret. “That won’t be necessary.”

He visibly found your little act of confidence amusing, giving another dry chuckle before explaining. “In this game, losers can choose to take a drink or take something off.”

“Shig-” Dabi interjected lousily from the sidelines.

But he’s cut off. “What? It’s a party. Let goody-two-shoes make some mistakes-”

“How do you play?” You interrupt the squabble. After all, you weren’t some little girl. You’re fully capable of making your own decisions.

“See, patchface? She’s in.” The boy grinned again – his red eyes going from being narrowed at your boyfriend to looking giddy back at you – starting to explain. “It’s a game where we’ll get to know each other better. Taking turns asking each other questions.”

Your brows furrow. “How can you lose in a game like that?”

Again, his grin widens. “What? Never been asked a question you couldn’t answer?”

You think. “Like in class?”

The grin couldn’t widen anymore, so it split instead and turned into a dry cackle. “Fuckin’ hell, Dabi- where’d you find this one?” 

Touya doesn’t answer. He seems angry about something. But it isn’t unusual behavior from the moody raven head. 

Either way, the other boy doesn’t seem to mind – offering another chuckle before continuing. “How ‘bout I start asking the questions- since bleach-boy here doesn’t wanna play anyway?”

You’re still a little confused about how it’s all supposed to work, but you figure you’ll understand once he begins. “Ok…”

He licked his cracked lips at that, making you wonder if maybe this wasn’t a good idea after all...

“How many times have you given poor patchwork a taste?”

You go flushed, blurting out a weak-voiced “What?” with eyes wide, looking back at him as though half-expecting him to tell you he was just joking.

But it never came. Instead, he says, “You heard me.”

A few seconds pass while you process the premiss of the game, now understanding what he’d meant by questions you can’t answer.

You look down into your cup, swirling the brown liquid around in it before bringing it up to your lips and taking a swig. 

“Tch- drinking already?” He scoffed. “Looks like I’mma win this easy.”

Your face scrunches at the taste on your tongue, but then you swallow. Setting your cup down while wiping your lips with your sleeve. “My turn?”

“No, you drink until you get the courage to answer my questions, then you get your turn.” He reveals, and a sigh leaves you while waiting for the next question, hoping it wouldn’t be as intrusive as the former. 

But of course, it wouldn’t be a game otherwise.

“Was he your first?” The question rolls off his tongue lazily – his eyes gleaming knowingly. Offering a gleeful sneer once seeing you bring the cup back to your lips. Asking you another question while you chug it down. “You with him to piss Daddy off?”

“No.” You bark, putting your cup down with a bang – now glaring at him.

He leans further forward, staring vividly back at you. “Don’t lie.”

You don’t back down, narrowing your eyes at him in return. “I'm not lying.”

He cocks his head. “No? Why you’ with him then? Good girl like you? Don’t make much sense from where I'm sitting. Oh wait- I get it. He’s your little pet project, isn’t he? You wanna save him? Tutoring him at school, keeping his dick wet on the side.”

Your nails curl into your thighs and the cup in your other hand crackles from your tightening grip on it. Seething through your nose with a scowl on your face while listening to him.

He leans back against the sofa, nodding his cup at you. “Drink or take your top off.”

It’s your turn to scoff. “I’m with him ‘cause Touya’s a nice guy who fucks me good when I ask him to.”

You spot your boyfriend's head rising at your words, having been scrolling through his phone – now suddenly interested as though what you’d just said was something you shouldn’t have. Maybe he was embarrassed in front of his friend, but the way you saw it – this friend was not someone with an opinion to value.

“My turn?” You ask sharply but don’t bother waiting for an answer. “Where’d you get that scar? D’your Daddy give it to you?”

You spot his red eye twitch just a bit and take it as a victory. A smile tugging at the corner of your frown.

There’s a standstill for a small moment. But then he scoffs out a dry chuckle, this one a touch more strained than before. “Three sips, and she’s got bigger balls than you, patchwork.” His eyes don’t leave you while he says it, still staring. 

You return it with a similar look, but not quite – his was more curious, whilst yours was just deathly.

“Sorry to disappoint, but it’s just a skin condition.”

You give a snort of disbelief at that. “Now, who’s lying?”

“My old man’s a piece of shit, but he didn’t raise a liar. And if he ever left a scar, it wouldn’t be a scratch as small as this.” He bites back. “My turn. You like it rough?”

You almost look at Touya, wanting to give him a look as though to tell him to get off his ass and beat the crap out of this disrespectful shit-eating asshole. But you think better of it. This is your fight, and Touya had already warned you not to play.

So you drink.

“You ever let him get at it from behind?” He pushes on.

And again, you drink.

“Does he suck on your tits and call you mommy?”

That’s it. “Shut up!” You bark, standing up in a flurry, wanting to leap over the table to strangle him – but as soon as you’re on your feet, you feel a sudden burden take your head.

“Wow- hey- you good?” Touya stands next to you, keeping you up by your arm – having saved you from barreling over. 

He looks fuzzy in your eyes – blurry and in multiples – between three and five – you can’t count it. 

“A’ight, come here- you’ve just had a bit too much to drink-” Even his voice is hard to place, a muddled echo so far away yet inside your head all at the same time. “Let's lie down- and you can sleep it off...”

You feel groggy, or… you can’t really feel anything at all, and the feeling in itself reminds you of sleep – no, it’s heavier than that – feverish – reminding you of the type of exhaustion that forces you to fall asleep.

“Take me home…” You whine drowsily, curling the fabric of his hoodie in a fist while leaning on him for support – head soon too heavy to hold on your own, so you rest it against his chest.

You think you hear him give you an “Okay,” followed by the distant feeling of your feet being swept from the floor before the pressure of whatever clouding your mind finally snuffs you out.

You don’t know how much time passes before you feel yourself again – slowly waking.

You hear sounds – voices, you think – but they’re muddled, and for a while, you think they come from behind the walls. But after some time, you eventually realize they’re inside the room with you. 

“Not yet. She isn’t ready.” One of the voices says.

“It’s not like she’ll feel anything.” Another argues.

“She’ll feel it in the morning.” The first insists. 

You think you recognize his voice.

“Fuck that- you do it if it’s so important to you.” The other finalizes.

Someone’s touching you, you slowly realize – but any reaction after the understanding never comes. 

Both of them are touching you, you register – but still, any thoughts you have around the discovery are still left undecided.

You think you’re naked. But your skin is so numb they might as well be touching you through several layers of cotton. But no, you think something’s inside you.

You’re able to blink your eyes open after a minute or more – it’s still hard to tell. You look down or forward – either way, over and passed the cleft of your tits – between your legs. 

There’s a nest of black hair there, bobbing up and down.

You recognize his tongue piercing, lapping over your clit while his lanky fingers scissor your gummy insides in those soft spots he’d taught you about.

You grasp it more once you place it, moaning at the feeling. “Touya~”

His blue eyes look up at the sound of his name. There’s a look in them you’ve never seen before. If you’d seen it on anyone else, you’d say it looked anxious. But this was Dabi, and you don’t think the feeling could ever register with him. 

“Fuck- she didn't drink everything…” He mumbles beneath his breath.

But not to you, it would seem. 

There’s movement next to you, something or someone. Your eyes won’t focus enough to see what or who it is. It’s too dark anyway.

“Touya, what’s-”

It picks up your arm. It – being a dark figure. You think it has long hair. Its hands are cold.

It drops your arm again, and then it talks. “Doesn't matter. Looks like the drug did its job anyway- she’s just gonna be awake for the fun.”

The panic is beginning to brew now – though slowly – you’re still confused, still too numb to really understand what’s going on or even care to try and figure it out.

The figure shuffles. Its knee dips into the mattress you’re on.

“You can piss off now.” It says.

Then you feel it crawl on top of you.

You’re scared now. Struggling for air that seems to come all too slowly, only barely enough to satiate the growing need in your chest.

The words are starting to make sense, dawning on you like a crash, when the slight inkling of what’s happening festers in your mind, making you rigid all over.

Then, the warmth of Touya disappears, and you're left to feel both panicked and cold and desperately hopelessly alone.  

“No, please, Touya- don't go- don't leave me-” You beg in a weak-voiced moan.

You tried to make it louder, but nothing within you seemed to have the strength. It was a struggle to even make the words at all. 

“Forget about him. He can't help you.” Whatever on top of you dismisses, accompanied by its gritty fingers taking a pinching hold around your jaw, digging its fingernails into the chub of your cheeks, and directing you to look up, only for you to see those awful beady red eyes you’d been dreading. “Focus on me, sugar-tits.”

You whine. Sobbing out a last undiscernible outcry for Touya, but you fear he’s already left the room.

Either way, the sight of your pretty eyes quickly welling with tears, soon pouring down in thick streams, makes that dreadful smile above you only crease wider.

He lifts your thighs, draping them atop his own, spreading them on either side of his hips while he sags over you – his breath on your cheek as the ghosting feel of his lips brush the shell of your ear. “Promise~ you’ve never been fucked like this before~” He huffed with a lick, followed shortly by the crisp and sharp sounds of metal unbuckling.

“Stop- don’t-” You whimper out between mushed lips, but it’s swallowed by an unwanted kiss. 

It’s wet – tongue first, then teeth, then words. “Dabi has this disillusion that you’re too soft to handle anything…” His kisses don’t stop – sucking your lip between his before smacking off to continue the thought. “But I knew it from the moment I saw you...”

Something heavy and warm flopped out onto your stomach, then drew back to rub against the soft chub of your pussy. Touya had left you swollen and wet, and the guy he’d left you with was reaping all that had been sown – smacking the spine of what you sobbed to know was his erect shaft right in the wet of your messy slit with a chilling squelch.

“You need it rough, don't you, little slut?” He finished off, running the fat bulge of his cockhead between your pussylips until it caught your pretty coin-sized hole – pushing in without another spared second.

You gave a louder whine – thighs tensing, wanting to shut but kept apart by his hips thrusting forward until kneading into your plush underside.

“Oh, you don't like that? Don't like being called slut?” He babied with a grunt. “Or don’t like getting raw cock?” 

Snickering under his breath, he gave another nudge as he bottomed out even deeper, bullying into that very intimate and vulnerable spot that made your entire body curl – rigid from the sting of feeling his entire shaft nestled within you, squeezing it tight for purchase with toes curling in the air. 

He groaned at the grip, staying stored up to the hilt within you for a long moment – savoring the feel.

“Tch- your cunt, swallowing me all tight and wet- tells me different- bratty fuckin’ slut. I fuckin’ knew it-”

You held your breath, letting it slip when he dragged out – beginning to sob from the pain once he started pounding.

He still held your face – now locking his palm over your lips instead, keeping your cries muffled while his face dipped down to your neck – sucking new bruises atop the old ones given to you by Dabi.

“Tch- fucker gave me a condom. What a fuckin’ pussy-” He laughed hotly, strained as he shoved himself inside your choke-hole, which slowly surrendered to his size – stuffed so air-tight, slick escaped and smeared your thighs with a glossy sheen, running in slim lines down your ass. “Guess this cunt’s never gotten a real taste.” 

He pushed himself so much deeper than Touya had ever done – greedily pounding his tip in all the way – making it feel as though he was trying to break into your womb – forcing your body to arch off the bed, tensing and throttling him tight – squealing your throat raw into his salty palm with hot tears now streaming thick down your face.

His other hand was squeezing your tit just as greedily, sinking his blunt nails into the soft fat, leaving dents in the flesh.

“Lucky you, gettin’ your first creampie.” He hissed, giving your nipple one last pull before motioning down to the plush of your stomach, pushing down until he could feel where his head was ramming into you. “Don't worry, Sweet-tits, I’ll dump all of it deep inside you so you can feel it right here in your belly.”

His tongue was fat and flat, slurping your neck with eager growls while you kept your eyes squeezed shut, wanting to disappear – wishing Touya to come back – even if to tell you it was all some joke – that it was somehow not real. It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real. It can’t be real.

But it is. 

And you know it for certain once you feel the first spurt of that ruining warmth fill you. 

His hips stagger against the underside of your thighs – cock sleaved to the base with the pudge of his balls nudged sweetly against your taint – clamping up, squeezing them free of jizz as he dumped it all into the deepest coziest part of you – releasing a throaty groan right at your ear all the way up until the very last drop pilled out and into you.

“Heh- milk’t it all,” He breathed with a short laugh a minute later. “I knew you were a dirty slut.”

His hand dragged off your mouth, only to stuff two digits inside it, pushing your tongue down while releasing a fat drop of spit down your throat.

“A mommy-boy like Dabi wouldn’t know the first thing of what to do with a snooty brat like you...” He says, rubbing slow and steady circles into that stuffed place of your belly – knowing he'd just painted it white. He stayed inside you until his cock hardened again. “You’re better off being my cumrag~ I’ll teach all these holes how to take cock- next up is your tight little ass-”

The drug wanes after a few hours, but you’re slicked in flakey cum from your forehead all the way down to your toes and too exhausted to move much more than a finger. You feel it trickle out from both your holes – mouth sticky with it.

“That’s a pretty slut~ lie in it like the filthy cum-whore you are. You earned it.”

You can only croon in response. Head muddy, eyes glazed.

“Say cheese, slut.”

There’s a flash.

“Bet Dabi won’t want you back after seeing this.”

[danikamariewrites]

i’m obsessed with rhysriel x reader👀👀 could i request hc’s where we get an insight into rhys and az’s relationship? Are they in love too? Or are they just mated to reader? And if they are in love, then was it a lotta jealousy st first or did they get along/ when did they realize that they were also in love🤭 also do they have fun times without reader?👀 i imagine reader just coming home one time and they’re making out or something on the bed/sofa and they ask if she wanna join but she just wants to watch

The Other Half

Rhysriel x reader

A/n: you really made me think here anon. Writing the lil romance between Rhys and Az was so cute, I was kicking my feet giggling writing this lol.

@amara-moonlight I hope you enjoy this babes 💖

Warnings: jealous/possesive Az & Rhys, throuple, and fluff (as always)

When the bond snapped for all three of you the boys were so happy to be with you

Rhys and Azriel discovered the bond between them shortly after it snapped with you. To say they were shocked was an understatement

I think Azriel had always loved Rhys but had kept it buried because it felt like he wasn’t supposed to, where Rhys had a few male lovers when they were younger so this wasn’t entirely new for him

The new bond between Rhys and Azriel was hard for them to navigate at first

They’ve always had love for each other, they just never realized how deep the love they had for each other was

Azriel would have a hard time with this since he’s so used to keeping his feelings inside. You and Rhys were always there to comfort him though, letting him know it’s ok and to talk through what he’s thinking

With the mating bond the two males felt like they had a lot to work through

After knowing each other for centuries Az and Rhys felt like they needed to reconnect

You helped them a lot to be comfortable as mates

The two males ended up falling in love as they fell more in love with you

Watching them openly love each other melted your heart

Your mateship wasn’t always easy at first. It was a rocky few months after the frenzy

Az and Rhys would get jealous and possessive with you

It was hard to navigate spending one-on-one time together with Az and Rhys

While they wanted to spend time together they spent more time mad at each other , trying to steal you from one another

Mediating between your mates sucked

And you never understood where the animosity came from! They always got along but the bond made their relationship unstable

At one point Rhys and Az didn’t talk for a week because their jealousy was so bad

Az had just come home from a mission on the Continent and just wanted to hold you and sleep

Trudging into Rhys’s office to debrief him, Azriel was met with Rhys holding you tightly to his chest while you lounged on his lap. The sight should’ve made him happy but all Azriel felt was rage

He could’ve easily just asked Rhys if he could spend time with you now that he was home. Rhys did have you alone for days at a time after all. Instead Azriel projected his annoyance down the bond to Rhys

That night they got into their first real fight. Yelling and shoving each other. They didn’t stop until you stomped out of the room screaming, “ILLYRIAN BABIES! GOOD GODS!” Followed by the slamming of your own bedroom door

For almost a week the three of you slept in separate rooms

You didn’t want to hurt their feelings or make it seem like you were picking sides. The whole thing gave you anxiety and made you close off your side of the bond. You were especially stressed when the boys would talk to you one at a time and never in the same room

It wasn’t until you broke down crying, begging them to speak that they realized their emotions were hurting you

“I am begging you, for the sake of our relationship, to fix whatever your issues are! If you don’t I’m not sure I can do this for thousands of years because it is killing me!” Azriel and Rhys felt their hearts break at your words and tears

Azriel and Rhys embraced you, apologizing profusely promising they would work things out

After a weekend at the cottage in the mountains Azriel and Rhys came back calm and so in love you were overjoyed

Rhys showed you parts of the romantic bits of their time away. Making each other food, reading together, their long talks and sleeping in each other’s arms

He also showed you the more…explicit moments (it made you a little jealous but they made up for it when they came home)

The first time you went out leaving them home alone after they were in love was weird for them at first. The cabin was different. You went to run errands alone. One of them always goes with you

It was getting late and Rhys was getting worried. Before Rhys could tap at your mental shields he could smell dinner being made

Rhys followed the scent into the kitchen, finding Azriel standing at the island prepping food. He’s wearing an apron that is definitely yours with his sleeves rolled up. There’s a bottle of wine on the counter from Rhys’s personal collection along with 3 crystal glasses. Rhys smiles at the simplicity of the scene in front of him

He leans against the door frame, “What’s all this?” Rhys says teasingly. Az smirked as his shadows swarm him in a panic that tells Rhys he was too early. “It’s been awhile since we had a nice dinner so I thought I’d cook.”

Rhys makes his way over to Azriel, giving him a soft kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, love.” Azriel’s cheeks flush at the term of endearment. Rhys picks up a knife and starts cutting up the potatoes

Coming home from your errands you hear their light conversation and laughter. Dumping your bags by the front door you tiptoe to the kitchen, hoping Az’s shadows are distracted. You find your boys messing around, kissing, and just being happy cooking together warms your heart

You love seeing them love each other never gets old

[rae-pss]

Good afternoon rae! hope you have a nice day 😌

So about the whb self aware Au , The reader ( us ) is control the Mc ( Ra-on ) nody right? even so there will be a difference bitween reader/us and the Mc like : souls , aura right? the devil or even the angel pretty much can sense it but need some time to distinguish between both. Like when the reader control or even talk through Mc body is will show ( little / much ) the difference right? I just wonder how they will reaction about it when they start to knowlege that the mc being control by us for that moment can be? ( No need all the reaction of them , like the seraphim or the king ) 🤔🤭

masterlist

˗ˏˋ꒰ 💭 ꒱ . . . good afternoon to you too! damn, inspiration tends to come to me once per month or how is this even possible; yet, i'll post separately the seraphim ones (one i manage to write it down). well, whatever, once more thanks for sharing your ideas with me, sweetie. i hope you like it, dear anon (<3). ˗ˏˋ꒰ 💭 ꒱ . . . lowercase intended, 448 words.

〔 SATAN 〕

—satan's the first to realize the sudden changes that the human suffered at times. the fact of being with her most of the time gives him the privilege of being able to notice those strange quirks before anyone else.

—that said, sadly, it didn't dawn on him that it could be a sign that the presence he felt at times seeing him was manifesting in ra-on. It wasn't until he found himself lost in her eyes that her pieces wanted to form the puzzle.

—loves being able to talk, being able to just be with you whenever the opportunity presents itself. this demon seems to live longer every time that, for some other reason, he manages to feel an iota of anger in you when you are in the human body.

〔 MAMMON 〕

—when he realized how his master's aura was becoming more intense, and how her behavior was consequently changing, it didn't take long for mammon to connect one point with another.

—now he understood why the others, aka the gehenna demons, seemed to not want to leave her alone with anyone else for long.

—he doesn't miss an opportunity to talk to you, that superior being who seems to control ra-on in the crazy adventure he lived there in hell. once even admitting that there was when he could touch your bottom directly.

〔 LEVIATHAN 〕

—observative and perceptive as he alone, it did not take leviathan long to realize that these changes in the human were due to the presence that seemed to be over everyone.

—firstly, as it should be, he took it in a somewhat bad way. his envy shining brightly knowing that some already knew before him. the audacity… despite that, as it should be, he had to accept that even with his internal rage.

—if the opportunity arose, he would spend it with you in her castle, preferably inside her chambers where nothing and no one could interrupt you.

〔 BEELZEBUB 〕

—of all of them, I would say that beelzebub is the last, or one of them, to realize what is happening regarding you and the position of ra-on's body. for nothing other than the reason we all know, his constant disappearances and unforeseen appearances.

—of course, he only needed to be in front of that new human aura once to decipher who he was really talking to. that characteristic side smile of his showing itself on his features.

—every time he gets the opportunity to be close to you, be sure that he will take advantage of it. however, don't get too attached, because as always, he will end up leaving before you know it.

[fictionalmenmakemecry]

Golden Globes

Characters: Jeremy Allen White x Reader

Summary: A quick blur on what it would be like to be by Jeremy's side at the golden globes.

Warnings: Cursing, anxiety.

"I can't go"

You exhaled tiredly plopping down on his couch.

"It'll be okay, I want you by my side. Everything will be great and it might even be fun." Jeremy sat next to you, resting his hand on your thigh.

You glanced over at him and then closed your eyes leaning your head back. The knots you felt in your stomach were nauseating.

"Look, I know how daunting it is but it's a big night for me and it would mean a lot if you were there" He sighed, looking down at his hand on your leg.

There was silence between both of you.

You drove past The Hilton where you saw them setting up for the golden globes. You and Jeremy have been dating on the down low for the past 6 months. It was hard with always leaving at odd hours of the night in different disguises. You would enter and leave places separately. But as difficult as it was, you both had the privacy to spend time with each other without the pressure of the press or public.

You were a high school teacher. You weren't used to this environment. Hell, he was barely used to it as this point. He understood how you felt and didn't want to make you feel trapped. But this was a big night for him, and he needed you there. He wasn't completely comfortable himself as this was still not normal for him, but having you there would steady him.

"But everything will change" You spoke out quietly.

Jeremy took a deep breath. He glanced at you and saw the anxiety in your body. Your shoulders were bunched up, and your hands were in tight bundles.

You rolled your head over to him and looked at his blue eyes that were searching your face.

"I know... But wouldn't you prefer that they find out our way than we getting caught some night and it being all over the internet?" He asked with his head leaning on his arm on the back of the couch.

Your mind flickered back to so many close times of getting caught. When ducking when driving around or always looking around to see if you could sneak a quick kiss. The only time you felt truly at peace was in bed with him. His body was close to yours. No risk of anyone seeing you. Whether being in his embrace in the intimate moments you shared or watching your favorite movies sharing food. You were afraid of never feeling that peace again.

His hands were caressing you gently. His fingers brushed your hair and grazed down your cheek. His fingertip outlining your lips. His touch did make you calm down a little but the anxiety was still there.

"They're going to destroy me," you whispered, keeping your eyes on his.

You knew that people were going to speak about you being a teacher and not being good enough for him.

"Fuck 'em" He whispered, gently stroking your cheek.

"You just focus on us."

There you sat in complete awe, looking at your boyfriend accepting a golden globe. You looked around and saw all eyes were on him. You felt so proud after seeing how hard he worked in this short time you've known him, you knew he deserved it.

"...... I'm completely overwhelmed with this. Uhh-" He glanced at the award in his hand.

"I just want to say thank you to everyone I've worked with on The Bear, you made this happen for me and I'm forever grateful...." He looked around and finally his eyes landed on you.

"Uh-and finally.. thank you sweetheart for coming with me tonight and always being by my side" He raised his golden globe before giving a light wave and making his way off stage.

You could feel everyone's stare on you and you cheeks were on fire. You couldn't believe that he acknowledge you on live television in front of millions. You just wanted to be there for him but he was clearly making sure that people knew you were with him tonight.

You watched as he made his way back as other nominees were getting called out for another category. He came over and sat beside leaning over and giving you a light reassuring kiss.

"I can't believe you got it babe" You whispered looking at the award on the table between both of you.

"Me neither." He smiled genuinely, looking you up and down while wrapping his arm around your waist of your backless dress.

You gave him a light slap on the chest for making your blush even more if that was possible.

Masterlist of other fics

[cerebralinvasion]

yandere february event day 21

“those bruises… did i do that…?”

chuuya confused you. you think he probably confuses himself too at this point. the way his actions fought with his words was no doubt similar to the way his overwhelming infatuation fought with his morals. a violent conflict deep inside himself that resulted in disorientation for you both.

he wanted to protect you, he wanted to keep you. he wanted you to be happy, but it hurt to see you happy with anyone that wasn’t him. he didn’t want to hurt you or keep you locked away, but the way you looked at him– the way your presence warmed his heart– you made it so, so hard.

you understood, it was impossible not to understand his love when he reiterated it over and over to you like a mantra. but that doesn’t mean you had to accept. that doesn’t mean you had to endure. and you decided you wouldn’t. so, an hour ago, you ran. you managed to sneak out the luxury penthouse and out into the streets of yokohama. you don’t know how you did it. you weren’t exactly expecting whatever plan you had come up with to really work, but somehow, it did. you were out. souls of your shoes banging against the pavement as you tried to create as much distance between you and the apartment as you possibly could.

thirty minutes ago, all hope was torn to shreds. because you ran right into him, literally. if you weren’t so terrified you might have been a little embarrassed. because rounding the corner and colliding with your kidnapper was literally comical. the absolute glare he stared you down with had you frozen on the spot.

“let’s go home.” he grabbed your arm as he grumbled out the words. you were still frozen on the spot. you didn’t want to, you didn’t want to go back to being trapped. but if you were to cause a scene– if you tried asking for help right here you’d only get everyone around you involved. with how strong chuuya was, if the civilians around you tried to step in, they'd only get hurt. so you followed without a complaint.

even when his grip on your arm hurt. you didn’t fight back. the walk back was silent. a thick tension settling over you both. when you arrived at your home you were almost thrown into the room while he slammed the door behind himself. it was clear he didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know where to start. he only glared at you from where he stood breathing heavily.

you raised your right arm to your chest, rubbing at the painful bruises that blossomed on your skin. he was about to speak before he saw them too. the darkened blotches that formed right where he had gripped you.

“those bruises… did i do that…?”

you didn’t say anything, only offering a tentative nod in response, at which he crouched down to your level, a guilty expression over taking his face.

“baby… i'm so sorry, i didn’t mean to. you know i didn’t mean to, right? i just wanted to make sure you're safe. and when i saw you out walking the streets i– you made me so worried, baby. i never meant to hurt you, I just– i was really scared.”

his words felt so genuine, but in comparison to his actions it felt like bullshit. terror, misery, guilt. all the separate emotions swirled within you once again. and as usual you found yourself torn between feelings and thoughts only because chuuya was. trying to make sense of the conflicts was painful. it’d probably be easier to just accept his words as the truth and stop fighting. it’s not like you were getting anywhere anyways.

[animehideout]

A Deal ( Ryomen Sukuna X Reader )

Part 6

Check out part 5 here.

a/n: Hi loves, sorry for the late update, I'm struggling with finding motivation since I'm active on both Tumblr and Wattpad.

‼️Since you voted for 3 different endings and I promised to write all of them, I'll start writing 3 different parts ( for exp 3 different versions of part 7 ) till we reach the end, since the events would obviously differ.

Warnings: NSFW MDNI ⚠️

Standing in front of Jujutsu High, nostalgia flooded your mind with cherished memories ; laughter, giggles, echoes of principal Yaga's scolding. The scents and images of your past enveloped you, painting a bittersweet picture. As you began to reminisce, a soft smile adorned your somewhat gloomy face.

Sukuna's voice broke the reverie, jolting you back to the present.

"One hour... that's it," he declared, grounding you in the reality of the moment.

Realizing that despite the risks of being a Jujutsu sorcerer, life then felt like heaven compared to the current disaster, a true hellfire. You nodded, all what you wanted was to hug them once more. An hour seemed more than sufficient, considering you had endured weeks of separation.

"I'll be waiting right here.. if you don't come back in one hour, I'll get in there and kill everyone before your eyes" he threatened.

You gulped, already know that he won't hesitate and would do that for real. You can't risk putting them in danger, you've been bearing all the pain for so long for them to keep them safe, so now you can't ruin it by simply being one second late...one hour is one hour.

"Understood" you muttered,

Sukuna's hold on your waist loosened, granting a temporarily liberation. It felt like a bird that had been caged for years, now experiencing the freedom to spread its wings and fly once again.

You stepped inside as the clock started ticking, countdown began. You started running, to waste no second.

Sukuna's Pov Why do I feel empty? It's just one hour; she'll return, she'll come back to me! Yet, everything seems to turn gloomy and dark without her by my side. I've lived in darkness across all timelines, for long 1000 years. But she changed it; she ignited herself, unintentionally lighting up my world. The moment she offered herself to me as an exchange for Gojo and Megumi's life, what a woman! Maybe it was the way her soul was pure, maybe it was her courage, maybe it was just for my own filthy pleasure, desires and sins. But she succeeded in making me break from the ordinary, and now all what I can think about..is her. If she was anyone else, I would have killed them at the spot, wouldn't even waste a second to negotiate, or spare them with my mercy. But Y/N,she got me wrapped around her finger, to the point that despite boiling with jealousy, and this unexpected ache that I've felt in my chest, aware of what could happen between her and Satoru in these 60 minutes, I've let her go to him, because she wanted to. Because I can't say no to her pleading eyes that drove me crazy. But one thing I won't allow, I won't allow Gojo to steal her away from me. No one can have her. Either mine, or death. End of Pov.

Panting trying to catch your breath, stomping inside, with no further warning.

"Satoru, I'm home" you said with a smile,

“Y–y/n?" they said in union.

taglist 🫶🏻:

@bellagum @darlax @saiyara05 @bontensbabygirl @aquatufana @kiki17483 @certainduckanchor @openup-yourmind @certainduckpalaceland

[thebirthofvenusfly]

Now that I've finished In Stars and Time, I wanted to do some writing on my thoughts and favorite detail of the game, especially regarding the relationship between the Protagonist (Siffrin) and the player:

ISAT SPOILERS BELOW

So, if you're reading this post, you've finished ISAT.

One detail I really wanted to explore was the player's experience as Siffrin. From the beginning, you're often treated as a typical player-protagonist relationship; you have one consistent character you see the story through the lens of, and interact with other characters and items in the universe through their hands and interactions.

Though at first, you as the player see chat notifications/text boxes (Memories, tutorials, etc.) that only you can see and that pertain to gameplay mechanics that wouldn't necessarily be deemed as canon-narrative things rather than just skills purely for the gameplay; it'd fourth-wall breaking and meta for the character to know what you as the player knows.

This is then immediately shattered by the character Loop, who reveals that they're the one talking to you when you see the text boxes about the Memories.

From then one, one detail I initially was iffy on but ended up loving was Siffrin developing as a character and individual separate from the player. Examples: Text options can be limited. Often at times, I found the only options there in a conversation to be things I never wanted to say, or there being no option at all other than one choice because Siffrin already knew what he as an individual wanted to say and what he was feeling at that time.

Siffrin had his own trains of thought on the loops. Can I be honest? I had caught on to the idea that perhaps Siffrin's wish and internal feelings of never wanting to separate from the party had been causing the loops far before your last run through Dormont and the House. By this point, you've seen Siffrin loop due to death, to being frozen in time, to scaring the party from wanting to travel with him by the way he killed a Sadness, to talking to the House Maiden after defeating the King and everyone declaring they'd go separate ways-- The only common denominator was every result ended in Siffrin being unable to continue on with the party for one reason or another.

Despite this, we still see him struggle to come to terms with any reasonings for the loops other than being hellbent that everyone wishing for a Savior for Dormont locked him into the cycle to begin with and because Mirabelle was dealing the killing blow on the King--not Siffrin--the defeat didn't count as his and he had to do it himself. Loop (the character) was very insistent that this wouldn't work and tried several times to get him out of this logic, but Siffrin had their mind set. You as the player cannot choose to stop Siffrin from this, at this point.

Funnily enough, despite all this marking Siffrin as an individual who is very sentient and independent of you, I found his emotional plight to be the same: I hate when games force you to lose your found family. I hate when you've spent 10-100+ hours building relationships and confiding in these people who you'd otherwise be lost without and have formed loving dynamics with, only to lose all contact or connection with them just because your journey is over. I understood his fear of change and abandonment and loneliness perfectly, and quite honestly, I felt the same every time the King was beaten--the reminder that damn, this is all just minutes from being over, if not for the loops.

So in the end, despite the writing very much turning Siffrin into his own character and individual whom we end up having minimal direct control over, he still ended up perfectly mirroring my sentiments.

And to be honest, I'm more attached to him than I have ever been to other protagonists because I've gotten to know him more individually than just use him as my marker or representation of myself in their universe.

[morningstarbee]

as much as i love hannibal, i will always be a will defender

I've seen some discourse among fannibals about who was in the wrong during Mizumono. I've actually seen several takes calling Will heartless and a monster for betraying Hannibal/hurting his feelings.

And I just need to write my thoughts down on this because I've always been a big proponent of

"Hannibal is a hypocrite who can dish it out but can't take it."

What do I mean by that? Let's make it very clear what happens in between them throughout the show.

(Spoilers ahead. Obviously.)

Let's start with Season 1

Will is a lonely person who has never felt truly understood by anyone

Hannibal befriends Will, accepting his darkness and the other unpleasant parts of his personality that drove other people away and made him feel wanted.

Hannibal gets Will to rely on him, to trust him and his opinion above any other person in his life.

Hannibal becomes aware of a serious illness that not only affects Will's ability to perceive reality, but could potentially kill him. He not only fails to inform Will or a medical professional about this, but actively makes it worse.

He frames Will for his own murders and when Will realizes something is going wrong and comes to him about it, urges him to turn himself in.

Will goes to prison and loses his credibility, his reputation. All his friends and colleauges no longer trust him. For many, all the secretly held beliefs they had about him are "confirmed" and all the perceptions about himself he had spent his life avoiding are now the common opinon.

Good? Okay now let's see what happens in Season 2.

Will makes a (failed) attempt to kill Hannibal through a proxy.

Hannibal claims his kills as the Ripper and Will is released from prison.

Will hatches a plot with Jack to make Hannibal believe that Will is on his side so that they can get him arrested.

Will makes Hannibal feel accepted and seen, in a way he had believed no one was capable of.

He plans to betray Hannibal at the final dinner with Jack and arrest him when he begins the plan to kill Jack.

Does that sound familiar? Person A befriends Person B, makes them feel accepted, and then betrays them and gets them thrown in jail. Person B's revenge is to befriend Person A and make them feel accepted only to turn and and betray them to get them thrown in jail.

It's a pretty fair revenge right? The only way it could have been more even was if Will somehow gave Hannibal brain cancer or something. (Though you could argue that the attempted murder makes up for it.)

Except, no, because Will doesn't go through with it.

He changes his mind and decides not to do the betraying part. He makes a very real attempt to accept Hannibal's offer and run away with him. And yet, in Hannibal's eyes, he accepted too late. And we all know what happened in Mizumono. A complete bloodbath.

That's the equivalent of someone punching you, and when you punch them back, they gut you in their fucking kitchen.

I also want to point out something specific in Mizumono.

Hannibal slices through Will's abdomen and says the words "I forgive you. Can you forgive me?"

REMEMBER THAT.

Now what happens in Season 3?

Hannibal leaves for Italy with Bedelia and is living in Florence with her.

It takes 8 months for Will to fully recover, not only from his physical wounds, but from the emotional ones. Hannibal leaving him behind. Grieving Abigail for the second time.

Will mentions, two separate times in this season, how he wanted to run away with Hannibal. When Jack asks why he warned Hannibal he says "Because he was my friend...and because I wanted to run away with him." Later, in Italy, when Jack asks if he will disappear with Hannibal when they find him, Will replies "Part of me will always want to."

Also, people never mention this, but everyone who survived the bloodbath knew Will had betrayed them. After Will took the risk to betray everyone to try and follow Hannibal, Hannibal left him behind with the people he betrayed for him.

Will travels to places where Hannibal has been to try and figure him out. Why that happened. What went so wrong. He visits the chapel in Palermo, the entrance to Hannibal's mind palace. He visits his childhood home and leaves flowers on Mischa's grave and a tableau of the man who killed her. He takes a tour that ends with him in Florence, where Hannibal "became a man", and finds him there.

They have, by all accounts, a pleasant conversation. They leave the Uffizi Gallery together and Will pulls a knife from his pocket. Chiyoh shoots him before we ever see how that plays out. And afterwards, Hannibal has him so drugged he can barely string a sentence together to explain himself. Then Hannibal attempts to murder him. Like saw open his skull and eat his brain.

Now this is purely speculation, but I have always had a pretty clear idea of what Will was attempting here, although he had arguably bad timing.

Earlier in the season, when Will was following Hannibal through the catacombs, he calls out "I forgive you." Which is a call back to when Hannibal forgave him in Mizumono.

Now how did Hannibal forgive him? He stabbed him, sliced him open with a knife, enough to hurt, really hurt, but not enough to kill him. He left him with a scar. A physical reflection of the emotional pain he caused Hannibal.

I will argue until the day I die that Will was attempting to reciprocate that idea here.

Hannibal reacts like Will was attempting to kill him. That getting that close and having that conversation about how intertwined they were was another ruse. I think in part it was an emotional reaction, though Hannibal would deny it. I mean, fool me once shame on you, but fool me twice, shame on me, right?

Of course, Hannibal doesn't get a chance to kill him because they are interrupted by the mercenaries Mason hired kidnapping them and taking them back to the States.

This is another big thing, because Mason wasn't after Will at all, not really. He was simply a bonus to Mason, and since he had them both, he decided to use Will, by cutting off his face and using it like a mask. Will is constantly catching strays for being associated with Hannibal.

They get out of this situation, narrowly, due to Alana's intervention and Hannibal rescues Will and takes them both back to Wolftrap.

When Will wakes up, Hannibal is acting like they're all hunky dory, like he didn't just make an attempt on Will's life.

Will tells him to fuck off. "I’m not gonna miss you. I’m not gonna find you. I’m not going to look for you. I don’t want to know where you are or what you do. I don’t want to think about you anymore."

AND THIS IS SO VALID !!

Will has made so many attempts to meet Hannibal at his level. Every single attempt at reciprocity between them has ended in Hannibal lashing out. Despite all of Hannibal's claims of wanting an equal, he never lets Will commit acts of betrayal and violence on the same level as him. If I was Will, I would also be done with him. It's so exhausting putting so much energy into someone only to constantly get it thrown back in your face like that.

(Also why I believe, in the show canon, their relationship doesn't work until Hannibal gets humbled by three years in prison.)

This is why you may hear me say things like "Hannibal has the emotional intelligence of a toddler" or calling him a hypocrite and stuff like that. Again, I LOVE Hannibal, he's one of my favorite fictional characters, period. But sir, you're so dumb. How can someone so clever be so stupid?

[snailstriad]

Connections Between Novel and Current Milgram

Alright, it's theory time. While it's not confirmed yet, after Kotoko's music video, I am certainly sure that the two novels and our current Milgram are connected. Because their motives fit so well? Maybe some of you know about our "snails theory," right? If not or if you've forgotten about it, please take a look at it too! [in our twitter under the same name] (I must say that some parts of the theory (e.g the voices part) are wrong, but it is a theory after all.) To summarize, we think Haruka, Muu, Shidou, Amane, and Mikoto's beliefs and mindsets come from the first novel, and Yuno, Fuuta, Mahiru, Kazui, and Kotoko's mindsets and their thoughts resemble the second novel. First of all, please do not forget that we are not connecting crimes. Maybe you can see similarities but I, too, believe crimes and storyline different(not completely because of Touchi) from our current trials. This theory is only about mindsets. Well, let's start with 1st novel characters.

Our first prisoner, Gentle. He is a very emotional man to me. And killing a man, who is about to kill a woman. Of course this is pure coincidence but the thought of killing one life to save the others is bugging me. Because of this, I feel like there is a parallel between Gentle and Shidou.

Nervous. Her anxiety of being useless and a failure is similar to Muu actually. Another point that these two have in common is wanting to be appreciated. This desire for acknowledgment adds a psychological layer, suggesting how much external validation influences their thoughts and actions.

Considering that Close and Gentle are siblings, you might think I've lost my mind for what I'm about to say next, but yes, I believe Close and Amane have similar thought patterns. Let's look at the events this way: Close is someone who would do anything and everything to get the person she loves. However, after all the events, she no longer fears suffering. In fact, she wanted to experience pain and didn't seek help. This reminds me a lot of Amane. Maybe in the future, I'll prepare a separate theory for Amane, but I always felt that in that famous electric shock scene, Amane was afraid of pain, so it seemed like she was trying to comply with the rules. However, after her father's death, and of course, when she came to Milgram, she tried not to fear pain and even attempted to surpass the help she received.

The next prisoner, in my opinion, is probably the easiest to connect among all the characters: Two-Face. Initially, I had wondered besides the name, what similarities there could be with Mikoto, but then I realized I had overlooked the most important thing. Both of them were unaware of the consequences of their actions. As you know, Mikoto was completely oblivious to everything. On the other hand, Two-Face genuinely didn't know that what he was attempting could lead to an actual murder.

Our last character from the first novel is Torch. Firstly, when we saw less of Torch's story and mindset compared to the second novel, I couldn't liken him to anyone. However, later, with the release of the second novel, I understood that the reason Torch's (or Touchi's) life was saved was Milgram. Through Milgram, he found the love he had been seeking for a long time, thanks to Sumi. When I look at this child who has no one in his life, I see Haruka. Both are individuals without anyone and in need of love. Additionally, Milgram, who saved Touchi, also saved the first trial Haruka. The lack of self-confidence he had when he first arrived was overcome thanks to Milgram.

Our first prisoner in the second novel: Tatsumi. I might exceed my thread limit before finishing listing the commonalities with Fuuta. First, let's talk about how both perceive their crimes as a symbol of justice. For those who haven't read it, I'll give a brief overview of the common theme in the second novel: all the characters' crimes are based on a kind of murder trend called "justifiable righteous murder." When Touchi asks him what justice means, Tatsumi responds, "Justice is a social media hashtag." Most likely, you've already understood where I'm going with this: both share similar thoughts about the concept of justice. Another shared aspect is that both constantly question the concept of justice they possess.

Rina and Mei, since they share the same trial, I'll continue without separating them. In my previous theory, I talked about how Yuno and Mahiru are opposites of each other, yet still closely connected. The same holds true for Rina and Mei; they are almost opposites, but their attitudes towards all these events are still the same. It's similar to Yuno and Mahiru; Yuno has a very cold personality while Mahiru is the opposite. However, when it comes to Milgram and its rules, both pairs' thoughts align remarkably.

Alright, this was the person I found the most challenging to connect among all the prisoners: Tomonari. Because, honestly, when I first looked at him, nothing came to mind except the word "psychopath." However, if you look at Tomonari's actions, despite all the darkness within, he never tried to kill anyone until the very end, somewhat keeping his "true personality" hidden. You might get upset with me, I know, but I associate him with Kazui. As I mentioned, this theory is not about the crimes they committed. Kazui, too, chose to lie and conceal his true self until the very end of his life. In my view, they are similar because of these choices they made.

Finally, the last prisoner, Mako. First, I can't go without mentioning that, in Kotoko's MV, I saw Kotoko closely following the "Justifiable Righteous Murder" trend created by Mako (even looking at the news of Tatsumi's murder). Both of the characters are individuals willing to kill for the goals they have set in their minds. Additionally, both characters closely follow the workings of Milgram and manipulate it in line with their own interests.

[glasskey]

I’m Gonna Cut Your F#cking Heart Out - The June Osborne Hit List Pt 1.

You guessed it, time for our girl to finally get her own playlist. She’s been busy to say the least, so there’s certainly surplus to requirement here. Let’s start with some of her most memorable hits from The Handmaid’s Tale season 1.

Nolite te Bastardes Carborundorum (Don’t let the bastards grind you down)

The infamous words of defiance and hope scrawled on the inside of June’s wardrobe from the previous Handmaid, who tragically, ultimately, let the bastards (Fred) grind her down. It was fitting that at the beginning of season 1, June had absolutely no idea what these words meant, but by the end of S2 she’d plastered them across the wall of her prison in foot high letters. Suitably she found this secret call to freedom destroyed upon her unceremonious return at the beginning of S2. We watched as Aunt Lydia and Serena proceeded to join forces to crush her spirit, leaving June catatonic and bleeding in the garden bed. It seemed poetic that June had to ask Fred their meaning, for their very essence incited rebellion and he was after all, her jailer. His response that it was a joke, indicated that the very concept of kicking against the system was laughable. It was a message contained in one of Fred’s boyhood school books, signifying a long since dead rebellious youth. Here in Gilead these words belong to June and she treats them like a prayer for strength against the resident “bastard” Fred, and his unending onslaught of rape and obsessive creepiness. The moment Fred is confronted by the words on June’s bedroom wall as he is held at gun point by Nick, is juxtaposed with his demise in that dark forest at the hands of Nick and June. The phrase signed off across his hung lifeless body marking June and Fred’s separation and the end of a sinister chapter. In her testimony June had asked for justice for the nameless, voiceless many and here it was at last, for the previous anonymous Handmaid who had hung herself in despair in the Waterford's attic.

Standing there in her room staring at those words, Fred of all people should have understood their subtext, but consumed with obsession and arrogance, he chose to ignore them. How was he to know they weren’t just a good old fashioned fuck you from Osborne, but also a prophetic warning.

What else is there to live for?

As much as I hated Fred, he did get some of the best lines and this one scene has three of his greats. This quote from Fred and the philosophical debate he has with June is one of my favorite Osborne moments. It encapsulates the difference in nature between their respective two worlds. Fred’s musings about life pre Gilead come loaded with allusions to men and women’s displacement from their traditional roles. Fred, and later Lawrence, argue that as these lines blurred and women attempted to exceed their “biological destinies”, men felt they lost their purpose and society crumbled. Fred believes that the sole purpose of humanity is to breed and perpetuate the human race, anything else such as love, is nothing more than sentimental garbage invented to facilitate this process. “Now you’re free to fulfil your biological destinies….what else is there to live for?” he asks “Love” June replies almost astonished at his ignorance. To her the answer is so self-evident and obvious; because unlike Fred she’s actually experienced it, and isn’t the emotional equivalent of a cavernous black hole. He scoffs dismissing it as lust, and she unfortunately overestimates the length of the leash Fred has her on. She drops the careless quip; “Maybe for you, but not for me”, questioning both his emotional depth and the authenticity of his feelings for Serena. He is less than amused. He proceeds to give her a not so subtle warning by telling her exactly what they did to Emily. It’s clear that in this world women’s needs or pleasure are not only irrelevant, but a hindrance to the cause.

Fred then drops what is possibly my favorite line for this entire series; “Every love story is a tragedy if you wait long enough”, it speaks volumes about the deterioration of his and Serena’s relationship. Once loving and affectionate it has become bitter and resentful within the bounds of Gilead, for in Gilead, anything beautiful decays. These words are both heartbreaking and loaded with foreboding, and it’s poetic that upon leaving his study she runs straight into Nick. The similarities and differences between Fred and Serena’s and Nick and June’s relationship are played out time after time throughout the seasons. This moment in particular leaves you wondering, will the other shoe indeed drop? Or are Fred and Serena actually the antithesis of what Nick and June will eventually become? Fred’s a cynic, he’s a monster but he can also recognize that Gilead comes at a personal cost to June and here we see the closest thing to an apology or at the very least an acknowledgment from Fred: “Better never means better for everyone. It always means worse for some.” It is notable that June, quotes this back to Nick in season 2, reluctant to abandon both he and Hannah in a place where love is not a purpose but merely a device.

What are you gonna trade us for? Fucking chocolate?

Here June gets her first lesson in just how much of a commodity women have become, on a global scale, even to other women. Alma lets her know from the very beginning the seedy details of the deals that are actually being made, and it sure as fuck isn’t for oranges. June unfortunately thinks that the Ambassador has some sort of interest in June’s imprisonment and if she only knew the appalling conditions June was being kept in she would undoubtedly do something about it. She’s wrong. When they first met she dutifully kept her trap shut, but then Serena had to go and parade all those children around in front of her. The spoils of Gilead and the consequence of the Handmaids enslavement. When the Ambassador turns up toting a tin of choccy to thank June for her candor about life in Gilead she lets her know exactly what being a Handmaid is all about, complete with the eye gouging and cattle prods. Contrary to belief she hasn’t sacrificed herself to the glory of Gilead; she was kidnapped, enslaved and her own child stolen. The Ambassador is of course horrified but willing to do exactly jack shit about it lest it endanger her trade deal for a shipment of Handmaids.

June’s suitably stunned and angry; she’s demanding some answers. Turns out the Ambassadors country desperately needs repopulating; although I was challenged to see what shipping over some fresh wombs would do without the whole Gilead old timey scrub down to go along with it, as this actually seemed to be the secret sauce. June accuses the Ambassador of trading the Handmaids for chocolate, it’s a stab at her moral fiber; chocolate serves no purpose but pleasure, it’s a trivial luxury, and as such she must view these women as mere chattels to trade them for it. If these people want to start trading red tags, June will make sure they see exactly what it costs them personally, and it’s a lot more than oranges and chocolate.

I’m sorry Aunt Lydia

Here we see the birth of Mayday or rather June’s true baptism as its unofficial leader. When faced with the prospect of stoning Janine to death, June chose instead to give Aunt Lydia the equivalent of the middle finger in front of her peers, complete with a smug “I’m sorry Aunt Lydia.” Much to Aunt Lydia’s horror her buddies all followed suit…..it was enough to make a cuddly old fascists blood boil. As the Handmaids walked in lockstep back to their respective homes, there was an undeniable new confident swagger to them. Nevermind, Gilead will shortly torture and terrify that out of them, but the damage is done, the rebellious rot has now set in for good.

Janine was the best behaved one out of the bunch and even she ended up a stone’s throw away from a salvaging; it could have been any one of them and they all knew it. In your run of the mill dictatorship, unquestioning loyalty is bred through fear and the reward of remaining alive. However, Gilead seemed to have made the fatal mistake of punishing it's innocent, leaving the Handmaids to reach the logical conclusion that they were fucked either way. Regimes such as these are ripe for rebellion. Gilead had unintentionally turned their handmaids attire from a ritualistic binding into a rebels uniform in one fell swoop, and unfortunately no amount of stylistic alterations were going to change it back now. This was the moment that the Handmaids realized that they had nothing to lose, and there’s nothing more dangerous than solidarity amongst those who are willing to sacrifice themselves for a cause.

While we all wait faithfully for S6, I'll be back with more playlists. See you then.

[baldwinivmybeloved]

୨᭄ㅤ꒰ㅤCharper One . . ੭

On a cold morning, a young woman walked through the halls of the castle of Jerusalem. Her beauty captivated everyone who crossed her path, whether they were slaves, servants, or even noble knights. Sighs and admiring glances followed her every step.

"I'd love to spread those legs," commented a disheveled Templar knight. Beside him, his companion also observed the young woman with lust.

She stopped and cast them a look of disdain. "Oh, really? Well, I think none of you could have me unless you go first," she pointed to the knight's companion, provoking an argument between them. While they argued, she seized the opportunity to quickly escape, heading to the chambers of young Prince Baldwin V, son of Princess Sibylla.

Upon arriving, she was informed that the prince was bedridden and needed to be taken away for treatment. She felt a knot in her stomach. She had cared for the prince since he was a baby, more than Sibylla herself, who barely bothered to see her son. The thought of not being able to accompany him on his journey filled her with despair. As a lowly slave, she knew she didn't have the power to convince the ministers or Tiberias himself. She could only endure the pain of separation.

Hours passed as she carried out her tasks, but her mind was with the prince, dreading the moment he would be taken from her. She loved him like a son, despite not being his mother. Finally, she was called to the prince's chambers. He, weak and pale, smiled at her.

"I will leave soon. They say I am sick, but they don’t know what it is," said the little boy.

"Don't worry, you will get better, my little king. You have always overcome everything, you will be a great king," she replied, caressing his head tenderly.

"I wish you would never leave my side, Xica, but they say I can't take you. It's so unfair! When I become king, I will make you my queen," declared the prince with childish determination.

She laughed softly and calmed him. Neither Tiberias nor the princess understood the close relationship between the prince and the mulatto slave, discovered only due to the prince's illness. Godfrey, who was in charge of the prince's lessons, was aware of this bond. The farewell was brief but painful. Heartfelt mother and son had to part, leaving Xica without a reason to live. Her tasks became monotonous and meaningless.

How could it be possible? She saw the princess so happy without her son, while she, who had not given birth to him, missed him every night and day. She prayed to God for his health, questioning the injustice of the world and those who inhabit it.

With the departure of the young prince, the castle of Jerusalem seemed to have lost its luster for Xica. The days passed with overwhelming monotony, and every task she performed felt empty without the presence of little Baldwin. However, life in the castle continued, indifferent to her pain.

One morning, as Xica was cleaning one of the castle’s grand halls, she overheard a conversation between two ministers passing by. They spoke in low voices, but the mention of Prince Baldwin immediately caught her attention.

"They say the journey is proving more difficult than expected," commented one of the ministers. "The prince’s health is not improving, and some fear the worst."

"What do the doctors suggest?" asked the other, visibly worried.

"They’ve proposed seeking a remedy in distant lands, a cure they believe could save him. But it’s a dangerous and costly journey."

Xica’s heart raced. The thought of the prince being in danger and so far out of her reach terrified her. She knew she had to do something, anything to help him. Even though she was just a lowly slave, she couldn’t sit idly by.

That very night, Xica decided she needed to seek help. She remembered Godfrey, the prince’s tutor, who had always been kind and understanding with her. If anyone could understand her desperation and help her, it would be him. Determined, she made her way to Godfrey’s chambers, hoping to find him there.

"Who knocks on my door at this hour?" asked Godfrey, opening the door to find Xica, her expression a mixture of fear and resolve.

"Forgive me for disturbing you at this hour, Master Godfrey," said Xica, bowing. "I need to speak with you about Prince Baldwin."

Godfrey invited her in and listened attentively as she recounted what she had overheard that morning. His eyes hardened as he grasped the gravity of the situation.

"I understand your concern, Xica," he said finally. "And you’re right, we can’t just stand by. But this is dangerous and will require careful planning."

Xica awaited his next words anxiously, hoping for an immediate plan of action. However, Godfrey sighed and continued, "Sometimes, the best course of action is patience. The doctors are doing everything they can, and while we want to help, we must trust in their abilities and in fate. I know this is difficult for you."

Xica felt disheartened, but Godfrey wasn’t finished. "You are a smart and brave young woman, Xica. In these difficult times, you must find ways to keep your mind occupied and strong. Here," he said, approaching a bookshelf and taking out an old book and some scrolls. "Take these. This book is one of my favorites, and the scrolls contain exercises and texts that can help distract your mind."

Xica accepted the gifts gratefully, though a part of her felt disappointed at the lack of a concrete plan to help the prince. "Thank you, Master Godfrey," she said, trying to hide her disappointment. "I will do as you suggest."

"Trust that we are doing everything possible for the prince," added Godfrey, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "And remember, the knowledge and wisdom you gain now can be of great help to you in the future. Keep your mind and heart strong, Xica."

That night, Xica retreated to her quarters with the book and scrolls. As the moonlight illuminated her small room, she sat down to read. Godfrey’s words echoed in her mind, and although she still worried about the prince, she found some solace in the pages of the book. Each story and exercise on the scrolls was a temporary escape from her pain and a reminder of the importance of patience and wisdom.

Over time, Xica began to notice that her nights were less lonely and her days less monotonous. Although the prince remained in her thoughts, she now had something else to hold on to, something that gave her hope and strength. She knew that, in some way, her love and devotion for Baldwin would continue to guide her actions, preparing her for the day she might reunite with him and perhaps save him.

While Xica was absorbed in reading her book and working on the exercises from the scrolls that Godfrey had given her, she heard firm footsteps approaching her room. She looked up just in time to see her mother, a strong woman of African origin, enter with a severe expression on her face.

"Xica," her mother said firmly, "what is this I hear about your worries for Prince Baldwin?"

Xica slowly closed the book and stood up to face her mother. "Mother, it’s just that… the prince is very ill, and I fear for his life. I feel like I must do something to help him."

Xica's mother approached and took her hands, her dark eyes filled with a mix of concern and love. "Daughter, I understand your concern for him. I know how much you care, but you must remember your place in this castle. It is not your responsibility to get involved in these matters. The doctors and nobles are handling it."

"But, mother, he needs all the help he can get," protested Xica, her voice trembling with emotion. "I can't just stay here doing nothing."

Xica's mother sighed and looked at her with a gentler expression. "Xica, I know you have a big heart and great devotion to the prince. But you must not be so dramatic. He will get better, trust in that. Your life should not revolve around him. You must find your own path, your own strength. Worrying all the time helps no one, especially not yourself."

Xica lowered her gaze, feeling chastened but also understanding the wisdom in her mother's words. "I know, mother. It’s just that… I feel so powerless."

Xica's mother gently lifted her daughter’s chin, making her look into her eyes. "You are not powerless, Xica. You have great strength within you. Use that book, those scrolls. Learn, grow, strengthen yourself. When the right time comes, you will know what to do. But for now, you must trust and be patient."

Xica nodded slowly, feeling a slight weight lift off her shoulders. "Thank you, mother. I will try to follow your advice."

Xica's mother smiled and hugged her tightly. "I will always be here for you, my daughter. Do not forget that. Now, go back to your studies. Knowledge is a great weapon, and someday, you may need it more than you imagine. You who can read and write, coming from where we do, must keep it a secret. We do not know what they might do if they discover a slave is literate."

Xica returned to her chair as her mother left the room. She felt a mix of emotions, but her mother’s presence and words had given her a new perspective. She opened the book again and began to read, determined to strengthen her mind and spirit, preparing for whatever challenges fate might bring her.

As the pages turned under her fingers, Xica found a renewed sense of purpose. She knew that, although she could not be by the prince's side at that moment, she could prepare herself for the day when her help might make a difference. And, in time, that preparation could be the greatest act of love and devotion she could offer.

[azures-bazar]

Hiiiiii ! ❤️ I love your soft!Arthur one shots and was wondering if you could eventually write about female!reader comforting Arthur after a meltdown or something ! Like he had a very bad day or he just feels bad and cries and all but is too ashamed to show he's sad ! thx !!

Angel’s Tears 

Hey there anon, thank you for your request ! It means a lot &lt;3 I love writing sad stuff (don't ask why, it's my cup of tea), and soft/sad Arthur is a part of my fav subjects lol

I'm sorry if it took me so long, I got really busy with my job and my free time is mostly consisting in me resting while playing Cyberpunk 2077 lol. Having a new graphic card helps a lot.

I hope you'll like it despite these awful mistakes I've made !

Arthur Morgan x Female!Reader 

Word count : 2.6k

Short summary : Arthur has been gone for three days and just came back after a dramatic set of events. You don’t want to leave him alone, so you’re taking him out for more privacy.

Warnings : mentions of torture and death

Tags : Chapter 3, Arthur is broken, angel tears, mentions of Isaac Morgan, you are Arthur’s treasure, soft boah, tears and kisses, some fluff, cute

It had been three days. Arthur had been gone for three days. This felt common for almost everyone around camp, but you genuinely thought he had been gone for weeks. You were used to have him wait for you by your tent every morning, sometimes passing his head between its flaps with a large smile. You loved being close to him when he was around camp, or when he was taking you to town. It was no secret for anyone that you had a little something for him, especially not to Mary-Beth. She had been quick to talk about this to Tilly, who told Karen, who then told Sean… who shouted about it all day long. That day, you wanted to dig a hole in the ground and never come out of it. 

As far as you could recall, Arthur had spent his entire day blushing anytime your eyes would meet his. What a sweet thing you were, right here, probably loving him as much as he loved you ! Arthur was not good as talking about what he felt, but something you were sure about was the reciprocity of your feelings. You could easily tell he was sweet on you by the very beautiful look he was giving you, by his bright smile whenever he was seeing you after being gone for some time, by his overall attitude. What made him fall for you was the night you fell asleep with your head on his shoulder while listening to Javier’s ballads. He had carried you to your tent and did not let go all night long, appreciating the way you clung onto him, still leaving by the morning before anyone would spot him. 

His absence was noticeable, days felt rather dull whenever he was not waiting by your tent in the morning like he usually did. While you were on guard duty, you did your best to focus on the surroundings rather than think about him and feel this void surrounding you. You missed his embrace, his overall presence around camp. Even if Sean wanted to fill this emptiness by… forcing you into hugs you did not like, you counted each hour separating you from Arthur’s return, notting them on a paper in order to be more prepared for the next time. You knew he would most likely bring you something from his travels, or maybe not. You did not care, you just wanted him back at this point. 

"Guess who’s back !" Karen shouted from the camp’s entrance 

You were cleaning your riffle with Charles as you spotted Arthur coming back to camp. You calmly placed your riffle aside and approached him, noticing how pale Arthur was, how shocked he seemed to be, how much blood covered his shirt. He barely smiled at you, giving you a soft kiss on the forehead before taking a wad of cash from his satchel and moving straight to Dutch’s tent to give it to him before quickly heading to the water to wash himself before Ms. Grimshaw would force him to do so. As you watched him pass by Javier without saying a word, you understood he did not want to be bothered, leading you to swallow your desire for an embrace and head back to your riffle-cleaning. You knew Arthur did not like being bothered and wanted to give some space. 

"Looks like he's not alright." Charles noted, glancing at Arthur who was cleaning his shirt 

"I’ll let him cool down a bit." you answered, nervously rubbing your riffle’s trigger. "You know how he is when he’s not in the mood."

"Yes, but I guess you should do something anyway. Leaving Arthur like this ain’t a good idea, that’s for sure." 

You nodded at Charles' advice, taking a few more minutes to finish your chore before carefully walking to Arthur who was now sitting on his cot in a brand new shirt and a pair of clean trousers, staring into space without noticing you were actually standing right before him. You cleared your throat a little, not daring to touch him just yet. You knew how unpredictable Arthur’s reactions could be whenever he was lost in his thoughts and dragged back to reality, you had seen him slap Bill one day as he was just trying to catch his attention. 

"Excuse me, Arthur." you said 

Morgan gently turned his head to you, a sweet smile bloomed on his pale and haggard face. You felt something was wrong with him by the way his eyes spoke to you, filled with emptiness and melancholy. You had no idea about what Arthur had been up to, but the blood that was covering his him when he came back to camp made you supposed he got into a brawl, or maybe worse. Much worse. Arthur was a tough man, believing brawls were actually quite enjoyable when you had the advantage over the situation. You strongly believed something bad had happened. 

"I’m heading to town." you restarted, crossing your hands behind your back. "Would you like to join me ?" 

"I just came back to camp, Y/N." Arthur smirked. "I don’t think Dutch would allow that." 

"Don’t worry, he will allow you to spend some time with me at the saloon. C’mon, let’s go !"

"Errr… Fine."

Arthur rolled eyes and grumbled as he stood up. Since the day you got inducted into the gang, anyone could notice he could hardly say no to you. Your mesmerising eyes and adorable face never helped him. He would have brought you the moon on a silver plate if he could. He always found himself scrambling to make you happy, and could obviously not refuse leaving camp with you. Even if he had just come back from a three days long journey, he genuinely believed a moment with you could make him feel better instead of hiding his frustration, sadness and overall exhaustion behind his tent flaps. 

You quickly headed to Dutch to tell him you were taking his boy out to town. Surprisingly enough, Van der Linde agreed and even gave you enough money to spend on a room and a bath at the saloon. Dutch had seen Arthur’s overall mood when he gave him the money he had collected and had felt quite worried about him. Arthur’s empty eyes and tense expression had reminded him of the one he had years ago, following his return from Eliza’s house after finding out that she and his son Isaac were dead. He knew his boy would probably feel better with you as he was aware of your natural ease to work him. Dutch gave you some food as well, believing Arthur should be hungry after his travels. 

"Sure, sweet girl." Dutch told you. "Make sure not to get into trouble."

Unexpectedly, Arthur insisted on riding your horse, believing his one needed some rest as much as he himself did. He left them to Kieran’s care as he climbed on your silver Turkoman, helping you up and placing you before him. One of his hands rested on your waist as the other one carefully held onto the bridle, he led you out of the hideout.

"Let's go, m'lady." he told you

Your short journey to Rhodes was rather quiet as Arthur did not speak at all, making you feel awkward, if not even uncomfortable. At the saloon, you quickly ordered some food at the counter while renting a room and a bath before heading straight to the bedroom, locking the door behind you. 

"What happened, Arthur ?" you asked 

"Some shit." Morgan responded without meeting your eyes, taking his boots off. "Nothing to worry ‘bout." 

"You were covered in blood, Arthur. I know you’re tough, but that look on your face… what happened ?" 

Arthur looked up and bit his lower lip, calmly breathing before sitting down. You approached him and sat beside him, placing your hand on his back. It made him shiver, any time you touched him felt like a treasure for Arthur. He sighed, understanding he could not get away with it, believing talking to you would make things better. 

"While I was ridin’ in Roanoke, spotted some Murfrees torturing a couple of hostages." he whispered. "Poor feller had his four limbs broken, I guess. His wife died before me. I tried stopping them, and then I spotted a lil’ boy nearby… heard his pa’ saying « Alexander », I guess that was his name."

Tears started streaming down his cheeks as soon as he mentioned the presence of the child. You kept listening to him, being somewhat aware that the worst had happened to this poor family. Judging by Arthur’s attitude and sudden sadness, you could easily guess about their demise. You had known about Arthur’s son during a random talk you had with him, you could only imagine how terrible it must have been for him to witness the Murfree’s torture on a family. 

"As I tried killin’ these damn Murfrees, one of them got out and took the child as the feller died beggin' me to find his son." Arthur hiccuped. "I tried runnin’ after them… looked for the kid for hours. Found his body at the bottom of a hill." 

Arthur quickly rubbed his eyes while bitting his lower lip. His hands clung onto his legs as you ran your fingers across his back. Witnessing the body of a child deeply broke him as he transposed the image of Isaac on him. On a boy who would have been about his son’s age by his death. 

"I could have done somethin’, Y/N…" he grumbled, turning his head to you. "I could've done somethin’… if only I had been here earlier… m-maybe…"

"You couldn’t have done anything." 

"I… I could have…"

"It’s alright, Arthur. It’s alright." 

You were heartbroken after hearing his distraught, his pain. There were no words to describe how bad you felt when you met his devastated gaze, tears streaming on his reddish cheeks, his wobbling lower lip. Your hand made its way through his hair, you played with it as Arthur buried his head against your shoulder. You passed your hand on his cheek, causing him to catch it while crying. It made you shiver a little, but you did not mind. In fact, you appreciated his complete trust, knowing he would have never spoken this way to anyone else but you. 

"I'm sorry, darlin'." Arthur sobbed. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

He wanted to feel your touch, he needed it. He needed you more than anything at this moment, and no words came out of his mouth to express his pain. He firmly held your hand on his cheek, letting out a few sobs as you carefully kissed the top of his head. Your other hand made its way to his shoulder, you left your thumbs rub it without bothering about what was surrounding you. Nothing else mattered but Arthur, nothing else. 

Poor man sobbed for long minutes while you kissed his temple at times, watching the sun go down through your window. You did not dare saying a word, believing it would break Arthur into pieces. Just a word and your favourite cowboy would probably collapse into your embrace, so you remained silent and allowed him to cry on your shoulder, rocking him back and forth at some point before he slowly moved away from, looking into your eyes with a soft smile. 

"Thank you, sweetheart." he whispered 

"Don’t thank me." you smiled. "I couldn’t leave you like that." 

"You’re a real treasure, you know that ?" 

You shrugged a little, your smile got wider. Arthur had told you a few times that your sole existence was one of his biggest treasures. He could not describe how safe he felt with you, how much your smile could make all the troubles go away in a mere second. You were one of the last pillars of his life, and he was quick to show it whenever you were with him. From embraces to two or three quick kisses on your lips, Arthur knew how to make you feel special.

As you were about to kiss his forehead one more time, Arthur quickly rose to change your target. Your lips landed on his instead, causing you to blush as he gently opened his mouth to make it last longer. You calmly took his face between your hands, keeping his head close to yours for a short while until moving back a little. Your bright smile made him blush, despite his darker shade was hard to notice due to the overall lightning in the room. 

"Yeah, you’re a treasure." Arthur said. "My beautiful treasure." 

"You’re going to make me blush." you chuckled 

"I’d love to, girl. I’d love to." 

The two of you talked for a long while up until a prostitute brought you some food on a plate, carefully placing it on your bedside table. Instead of allowing Arthur to take care of you as he usually did, you believed Morgan needed some rest and that you had to pay him back. You ate with him, listened to him talk about his discoveries, about these wild animals he had the opportunity to draw, about the overall strange ambiance he felt while travelling around Roanoke Ridge, being thankful the gang didn't settle there. He had brought you a beautiful emerald he had found somewhere near an old house, hidden in a crate. 

"It ain’t much, but I really thought you’d like it." he smiled. "I wanted to go to a jeweller and make a ring out of it, but ain’t got no time."

"It’s amazing, Arthur !" you praised him. "It’s a god damn emerald ! Of course I love it !"

"Just… don’t tell Dutch I gave you an emerald, right ? He'll get mad."

"I won’t tell anyone."

You watched Arthur eat his whole plate of fried fish so fast that you barely had time to start eating yours. You felt lucky Dutch had given you some more food, Arthur was hungry. He ate some bread, some of your vegetables and the two apples you had brought with you. Then, you dragged him to the bathroom, carefully undressing him as he looked at you with wide opened eyes. You had never seen him naked before, but did not care at all. In fact, it was even pleasant to see !

"Get in there so I can wash you." you said, placing your hands on your hips

"I ain’t a child, Y/N." Arthur said as he sat down in the bathtub 

"You sure ain’t. Just relax and lemme help you." 

Arthur shrugged as you started massaging his broad shoulders. He loudly moaned as you reached his neck, he absolutely adored having you press your hands on it. As far as he could remember, Arthur had always loved taking care of you. He loved staying by your bed when something was wrong or when you felt bad, he had helped you bathe following Blackwater’s botched heist to which you had participated and were traumatised for days. Arthur loved having you under his watch, having you doing the same for him was unusual, but worth it. He could breathe, he could forget.

It took him a few minutes to doze off. His soft snore made you smile as you dried your hands, sitting by the bathtub to look at him. What a handsome feller you had here ! His long eyelashes were quick to make many women jealous of him, it gave him a rather angelic look. Who would have thought that this tall and brawny man, his face wet with all these angel’s tears which had streamed on his cheeks, was an outlaw ? A man who had killed people, who had beaten some of them up ? Who would have thought that a man with such puppy eyes had blood on his hands ? 

"Ain’t you a handsome man…" you smiled 

The lack of response from Arthur’s part was no surprise. You watched him sleep, surrounded with this faint steam and soap bubbles, his eyes moving beneath his eyelids. You could not help but smile at this beautiful sight, you adored it. It was worth it, having Arthur rest like this was worth it. You knew he deserved it, you genuinely wanted him to be alright. And, that night, your presence healed his poor soul. You were everything for him, a reason to keep going.

You were his treasure. 

[trustfallwithgod]

Via Steward & Son

Day (Lost Count) - He didn’t catch me

I’ve had some atheists direct message or repost some of my content with rebuttals and cynicism. I had tried to respond to them but they weren’t accepting responses. So I guess, this post would make them glad. God did not catch me.

God might as well be a million miles away, I felt the devil and man’s evil more tangibly than I have felt Him. I guess this is just a longer way of saying Job’s famous “darkness is my friend” line 🤭. But I’m ok with all of that. He’s God and I am not.

What I’m not ok with is how my Father watched me get beaten and broken and then left me there and now someone’s thumb is in my wound pressing yet somehow I can minister, and even though I shouldn’t be able to pour from an empty cup, somehow, I still have something to give those who are needy and hurting. I am receiving grace somewhere that I can give to others. So there’s only one conclusion: God’s presence and Holy Spirit is undeniably with me.

I think this time, God has really killed me

So where does that leave me? I’m still doing essential work for the Lord but it appears His graces are for everyone else and not me.

This is where the Book of Job shines. You see, right now, I am focused on my performance when what God wants is relationship. In a long tradition of biblical figures like the older brother (in the story of the Prodigal Son) and Martha, the sister of Lazarus, I’ve been so focused on “doing the work of God” that I have not taken the time to be honest with Him like Job was and this has allowed the enemy to plant seeds of resentment.

Life is lived forward but only understood backwards

I absolutely love my Father but I cannot fathom His treatment of me and yet duty has compelled me to promote a brand of “feel good Christianity” (because I thought that I had to protect the feelings of those I minister to, completely forgetting that my role is only to evangelize and the “nurturing of the faith” work belongs to the Holy Spirit), completely ignoring the fact that in real relationships, fights happen. Parents and children argue and have disagreements. The enemy is the one attempting to nurture a garden of unhealthy “sugar daddy” expectations.

Look at Jonah, a lot can be said about Jonah but here’s a crucial verse that everyone misses in the Bible: Jonah was asleep in the storm (Jonah 1:1-6) just like Jesus was asleep in the storm (Mark 4:35-41). Jonah had faith in God’s goodness that he knew that if Nineveh repented, they would be spared but Jonah didn’t want that, he was disobedient to God’s plan for him however, Jonah offers himself to be a sacrifice to the sea knowing that it will calm the storm. The circumstances and context between Jesus and Jonah’s storm experiences may be very different but the outcome is similar, the storm calms. You can have faith and still struggle and chafe at the will of God or you can have faith and utter obedience.

This is where spiritual warfare begins to get terrifying: the closer you are to God, the more your own unworthiness is felt, making the battle a complex discernment process to separate your own thoughts from what the enemy is planting. Should you give up on God because you don’t recognize that He is walking with you along your own Emmaus Road? Or do you invite Him for dinner and then during the breaking of the bread, you realise that God was walking alongside you the whole time?

The disciples walking the Emmaus Road shared one very important thing with Job, they were brutally honest with God about their disappointments. Which brings me to another point: like any war, peace is hard fought. The difference is, this is a battle that Jesus fights, you only need to bring your sorrow, heart ache, disappointment and honesty to Him and in doing so, honour Him like you would your earthly fathers.

Really tell God how you feel and then like the Psalmist says in Psalm 143:8 “let dawn bring news of your faithful love”

Dedicated to Sharon Woo