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irb-pascalito-99 · 7 months

Text

Text you Later

Pairing: Joel x f!reader

Word Count: 2.2k

Rating: 18+ MDNI

Summary: Joel calls while at work for some lunch time shenanigans.

Warnings: phone sex, masturbation, pictures, dirty talk, praise, semi public sex

A/N: This is an excerpt from chapter twelve of my ongoing fic Always an Angel, Never a God to read more visit A03.

I try to ignore the buzz of my phone in my back pocket as I carry my end of the armoire. Bill huffs when I adjust the piece of furniture in my arms. Once we’re in position we put the legs down carefully.

I automatically pull out my phone to check my texts once my hands are free. A smile spreads across my face when I see it’s Joel again.

Joel: Meet up for lunch?

I bite my lip and look up at Bill who has continued to walk around the store adjusting other items. I lean my hip against the armoire as I type out my reply.

Me: Can’t :( leaving early today for Ellie’s appointment

Frank appears over my shoulder as I press send. I jump as he attempts to glance at the screen.

“Who you texting?” He asks with a sly smile. I shove the phone back in my pocket. I shrug in response and walk toward the front counter. “A man?”

“No Frank,” I lie. “It was just Maria asking if we could hang out tonight.”

The look on his face says he clearly doesn’t believe me. I ignore the next buzz from my phone, and the one that comes immediately after.

“Okay then…” Frank says. “Well I just wanted to see if you wanted this desk we just got in. I know you mentioned wanting to get something Ellie can use in that room.”

Ellie and I agreed to change our parents’ room to an art space the two of us can use. We’ve already packed all the stuff that remains there in boxes. Joel helped put them in the attic for safekeeping. Tomorrow everyone is coming over to help move the furniture out and paint the walls

I follow Frank to the back of the store where we keep the inventory before we put it out. While his back is turned to me I quickly pull out my phone to respond to Joel.

Joel: But I miss you…

Joel: Can we call at least?

Me: Give me like 15 minutes ;)

I throw my phone back in my pocket as Frank stops in front of an old writer’s desk. I run my hand along the cherry stained wood. It’s in great condition, probably worth a decent amount of money.

There’s a lot of drawers as well. I open a couple, they seem decently deep so Ellie could probably store a decent amount of supplies in it. She’s been getting really into sketching lately so a place where she could sit and draw would be really nice.

“How much do you want for it?” I ask.

“Don’t worry about it,” I turn to Frank as he waves his hand. I give him a frustrated look, while I appreciate his generosity it doesn’t feel right to constantly like Frank and Bill take care of me. I don’t want to be their charity case, but Frank won’t hear it. “Think of it as me supporting local artists. You can pay us back with a painting or have Ellie draw something.”

“I’m sure Bill would love whatever she draws of him,” I joke. Frank laughs. I run my hand over the wood again. It would really mean a lot for Ellie to have her own dedicated space in the room.

I let out an exasperated sigh. Frank grins as I concede. He pulls a SOLD sign out of his back pocket and puts it on top of the desk.

“I’ll have Bill load it up when we come over tomorrow.” He says.

He wraps an arm around me while we walk back up front. I feel my phone buzz again. Frank must hear the sound of the vibration because he looks at me amusedly.

“Maria again?” I shrug and walk around the counter to keep myself busy until I can find an excuse to go somewhere private and talk to Joel. “Girl can’t seem to get enough today, you’ve been glued to that phone all morning.”

“It’s probably that contractor guy,” Bill grumbles from across the room. I snap my head to him, trying to keep the blush off my cheeks. “The one she’s all goo-goo eyes for.”

So much for not blushing. I try to hide my burning face from view of Bill and Frank. I feel like a child caught crushing on the popular boy at school.

“Ahh yeah, Joel right?” Frank says. He turns back to me. “Is he coming to help tomorrow?”

“Joel? I think so. I know Maria said Tommy’s coming to help out with the muscle so I’d imagine Joel would be there too.” I try to act casual, but my voice comes out slightly higher than normal.

“Hmm, yeah we know that one has some muscle,” Frank says. I blush even more, just barely managing to stop myself from dropping my jaw at Frank’s comment.

“Sounds like you’re the one with the crush, Frank.” Frank laughs.

“Just making an observation,” he chides. “I think you could use a man like that…”

“Stop,” I beg. I hide my face in my hands. Frank laughs. Bill walks over to help a customer who just walked in while Frank pats me on the shoulder. “I’m taking a break.”

Frank shakes his head, still laughing. I walk toward the back of the shop. I take one more look over my shoulder before I disappear into the backroom.

I make my way to the bathroom and pull out my phone. I lean against the bathroom wall as I call Joel. He answers almost immediately.

“Someone’s needy today,” I joke. I make sure to keep my voice down so anyone who is outside of the bathroom door can’t hear.

“Babygirl, you have no idea.” I shudder at his nickname for me. His voice is deep with a sultry thickness pouring out like molasses. “I can’t stop thinking about you. Haven’t seen you all week, it’s killing me.”

“I know,” I respond. I half whisper into the phone. “I’m sorry, I miss you too. It’s just been crazy with work and Ellie. Getting Ellie caught up with classes has been rough. Turns out I’m really bad at math…”

“Darlin’ why are you whisperin’?” Joel asks.

“I’m in the bathroom at the shop. I don’t want Bill and Frank to hear me, they’ve already been making jokes about me crushing on you. I don't need them to hear anything else.” Joel laughs on the other end. “Stop that, it’s not funny!”

“Sorry sweetheart, but it kinda is.” I roll my eyes. “So you’re crushing on me huh?”

“Shut up,” I grumble. Joel laughs again and then the line goes silent.

“So…what are you wearing?”

“Oh, so it’s one of those phone calls. You’re really over there making fun of me while you’re waiting for me to help you get off?” I tease.

“Well I was going to pick you up and fuck you on a back road in my truck somewhere, but someone couldn’t get away from work.” I whimper at the thought.

It has been getting increasingly harder to sneak around these days. I’ve had to put so much focus on Ellie in order to prove to Marlene that things are solid with us. Joel has been extremely understanding, and my relationship with Ellie has never been better, but it’s been frustrating not to have alone time with him.

“You like that huh? Want to ride my cock in the front seat of my car, naughty girl.” I feel my pussy start to drip at his words. Fuck, I need him. “Go on, tell me what you’re wearing princess.”

“I can send you a picture…” I say. I smile when I hear Joel groan.

I position myself in front of the mirror and adjust my clothes a bit. I pull my neckline down a bit to show off more of my breasts. I turn to the side slightly so he can see the curve of my ass and then hook my thumb in the top of my jeans and pull them down just enough that he can see the top of my lacy black panties.

I take a couple pictures until I get one that I really like and send it over to him. I hear him moan when I pull the phone back to my ear, and then the sound of his belt clinking as he undoes it.

“Another baby, please. Let me see you.” I go back to the door and crack it open for a second. I don’t see anyone outside so I close it and lock the door.

I walk back to the mirror, setting the phone on the counter for a second, and take off my shirt. I push my jeans off as well and stand in front of the mirror wearing only my bra and underwear. I should be embarrassed doing this in the store bathroom, but a rush if adrenaline pumps through my veins as I position myself in front of the mirror. I nice one hand down, ghosting the lips of my pussy on the outside of my panties. I bite my lip and throw my head back, taking the picture and immediately sending it to Joel.

“Fuckk baby, so pretty for me.” I moan quietly at his praise. “Touch yourself gorgeous. Touch that pretty pussy for me. I want to hear you.”

I lean against the wall again and snake my fingers inside my underwear. I run them through my soaking folds, my underwear drenched as I hear the faint slapping sound of Joel’s fist moving up and down his cock.

“Oh Joel, I’m so wet for you,” I moan, making sure to keep my voice down.

Joel groans and a shiver runs down my spine. I dip two fingers inside my hole, my thumb starting to make circle motions. I whimper into the phone as I start to pump my fingers in and out. I try to match my pace to the sounds of Joel jacking off on the other end of the line. He moans loudly at my noises.

“Tell me what you’re doin’ right now sugar. What’s makin’ you make those sweet little noises?” He starts to pick up his pace, panting into the phone desperately.

“I’m touching myself.” I huff. “I got…got two fingers inside… wish it was your fingers, or your cock. Fuck, Joel wish you were splitting me open right now.”

Joel groans again, the sounds of him pumping himself getting louder.

“God, babygirl fuck. I wish I was there too.” I speed up my fingers, my climax building as he goes on. “Wish it was your pussy clenching around my cock right now instead of my hand. Got me fuckin’ jackin’ off in a goddamn parking lot, that’s what you do to me.”

I moan, a little louder than I probably should have. I move the phone to rest between my face and shoulder so I can cover my mouth as my other hand continues to move underneath my panties. I close my eyes and picture him in his truck outside his job site, thrusting his cock into his hands with his phone to his ear.

“Can anyone see you?” I ask. Joel chuckles darkly at my question.

“I don’t think so, not right now,” he grunts into the phone again. “Why gorgeous? That get you off? You like the idea of me gettin’ caught fuckin’ my fist to the thought of you?”

My stomach tightness and I moan again. I’m so close. So fucking close.

“Yeah, I think it does.” His words send another wave of pleasure through me. I’m right on the edge. “I think you like what you do to me. Think you like how desperate you make me, can’t stop thinkin’ of that pussy all goddamn week. You gettin’ close baby?”

“Yes, god yes, Joel please don’t stop.” Joel groans again.

“That’s it darlin’, I’m almost there too. Come for me babygirl. Come for me.”

I keep pumping my fingers in and out of my pussy until I’m finally pushed over the edge, panting and moaning around my other hand as I try to muffle my noises.

It doesn’t take long for Joel to follow. His groans sound more animal than human as I hear him pump his cock a couple more times and then stop. We both pant into the phone as we come down.

After my heart slows down I walk back to my discarded shirt and jeans on the floor and put them back on. I hear Joel’s belt clink again on the other line as well.

“I’ll be seeing you tomorrow then?” Joel asks as I straighten my shirt in the mirror.

“Yes, but remember it’s going to be a full house so you need to behave,” I remind him. He scoffs at my remark.

“Darlin’ I’m nothing if not a gentleman,” I chuckle at his remark.

“Would a gentleman jack himself off in a parking lot in the middle of the day?” I ask.

“You got me there,” he laughs. “But I’ll do my best to keep my hands to myself tomorrow, no matter how hard it’ll be after not seein’ ya for so long.”

I smile sheepishly, giddy at the thought of him having missed me so much after just a week.

“Thank you, I’ll see you tomorrow okay?” Joel agrees and we say our goodbyes. I wash my hands before heading back out to the front of the shop.

To read more visit A03

#pedro pascal #smut #fanfic #a03 fanfic #a03 writer #joel miller #joel miller smut #joel smut #tlou smut #tlou fanfiction #tlou hbo

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stuckinapril · 11 months

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Hi Cianna, just wanted to say I really admire your study ethic and general vibe on this blog (you inspire me to do better!)

Do you have any advice/tips for good study habits and staying focused? I find that I get some work done, but after a break I can't get back on track

Sorry for the long ask/ studyblr type of question;; what is your favourite hairstyle that you do with your hair! (I also have curly brown hair :)

Have a lovely day also <3

🌻🌻

hi! i touch on a lot of points in this other ask, but a few specific learning techniques i abide by are:

parkinson's law. parkinson's law states that work expands to fill the time. basically if you have an essay that's due in a week, it will magically take you one week to get it done, even if the task itself could've been done in one day. to counter this i just set artifical deadlines for myself--even if an essay is due in a week, my personal deadline has it due in two days.

prime your brain prior to learning. if you need to study a biology chapter, pre-skim it the night before. this is not the time to go into detail--it's the time to familiarize yourself with the overview of the topic, so you should only be making a quick scan of the chapter. another priming method is to make a concept map of topics before diving into a chapter. as you skim write down key terms haphazardly, google those you don't recognize, and draw a concept map linking them together. this is effective bc it requires you to actually put effort into connecting the topics, takes no longer than 15 minutes, and speeds up the learning process that follows. it doesn't matter if you find out you're wrong once you dive in; what's important is you're actively thinking of how these topics coexist, as opposed to mindlessly taking notes or highlighting only to forget what you learned a couple hours later. i'm also a fan of concept maps bc i get to go back and highlight stuff i'm weak in, which is always a plus.

if you like to take notes, use it as another means of active recall. don't just passively take notes as you go along. what i like to do is i read a paragraph, close the book, then try to take down notes based off memory alone. this helps me both phrase the topic in my own words and realize what my learning gaps are, rather than just passively summarize without putting effort into truly understanding/memorizing something. anything i get wrong i hammer into my brain until i can't get it wrong anymore.

take notes effectively. our brain does not learn in sentences and paragraphs. it learns in bullet points, diagrams, and figures--and that's how i like to frame my notes. first i ask myself if i actually need to take notes to begin with, or if there are online notes out there i can use to save time (which, as a stem student, there typically are). if i do decide to take notes, i never mindlessly summarize. i always condense the material into bullet points, diagrams, concept maps, or visual representations. i also like to phrase my notes as questions rather than just passive summaries, so that when i review them i'm already testing myself in a way. most people would not understand my notes bc they're either very low-yield stuff, stuff i'm weak in, or bare-bones fragments of information.

always prioritize weaknesses. if you're weaker at chapter 18 of your textbook vs chapter 1, maybe start with chapter 18. don't spend 6 hours taking notes on chapter 1 if you're already strong in chapter 1. always attack your weaknesses first.

practice practice practice!! so so important. i owe all my As to mock exams, quizzes i make myself, end-of-chapter questions etc etc. imo practice matters a lot more than passive content review.

interleaving concepts helps with retention. an example of this is i like to do biology and chemistry one day, biochemistry and organic chemistry the next day, physics and psychology the day after... i'm not just doing biology all day, every day. another thing i like to do if i'm in a massive rut is i hop between tons of different subjects on the same day, which keeps me from getting bored/helps me understand the subjects better through distinguishing their differences.

retrospective timetable. an example of this is if i find i'm pretty weak in a particular physics topic, the next few days will disproportionately focus on physics over other subjects. inversely, if i just breezed through a biology chapter, the next few days will have less biology than initially planned. i'm constantly going back and revising my study timetable based on my performance of the day, rather than relying on a rigid prospective timetable that doesn't take into account my progress.

less passive learning, more active. spaced repetition is a big one. i love anki for this bc there's an algorithm that dictates how often topics come up again based on how well you answer them. other methods include active recall, having friends quiz you, and trying to teach the topic to others (or the plushie in your bedroom haha). if you find you're struggling to simplify topics and explain them, that's a sign you don't understand them very well yourself.

#haha no worries <3 answering these asks helps ground me too so it's a pretty symbiotic relationship #and i'm always happy to help!! good luck :)#study tips #ask

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mysticficti0n · 1 year

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All my attention Part 5

warnings- swearing, drinking, protectiveness, so much flirting

words- 4k

If you'd like to read the previous parts → All my attention series

a/n- so if you're new here I am British and cannot speak any German, I speak a little French, Spanish and Italian but German- no. I also do not trust Google translate so this is gonna be like an avatar thing (if you've seen the newest one Jake says that their language just became normal or something along those lines) so in reality this is all in German, you as a reader know German but, its wrote in English... make sense? no... well, sorry this part has taken a while-

(also would anyone want to be on a tallest?? plz put if you'd like to ♥︎)

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backstory- you are the 5th member of Tokio Hotel and you always thought the love was equally platonic between you and a certain guitarist... but what if that all changed?

I stood in my room ferreting through my clothes to find something to wear for the interview which was coming a lot faster than I thought, I decided on a army green booty skirt with a cream belt, a white tank top, gold jewellery and my hair tied back in a bun, my make up was pretty usual besides my red lips lined in black but I mean if I can pull it off- why not?

Hurriedly I grabbed my shoes, deciding on my chunky platforms and a purse holding lip gloss, lip liner, spray, my phone, a pen and keys. The boys and their families went home after breakfast around 10 meaning we could all spend time with our families for a few hours, the Kaulitz' left a little later as being our neighbours they didn't have much of a drive to get home. Gordon, the twins step dad agreed to driving us 3 to the studio while Georg drove him and Gustav as they lived near to each other

"Y/n sunshine! Tom is out side" my mom called from the bottom of the stairs

"okay!" I shouted back and came storming down the stairs, I saw my mom's eyes light up and a smile decorate her already beautiful face "like it?" I twirled

"You look wonderful! oh my- Martin get in here look at our daughter!" she called getting my dad in who was holding Stella "look!"

"Baba look pretty!" Stella grinned

"she does doesn't she, we'll be watching tonight sweetheart" with 3 quick kisses I ran out the house waving goodbye and Tom laughed as I stumbled down the step

"shut up look at the size of these I'm not exactly gain" I huffed steading myself, I looked up and saw the boy handing is arm which I gladly took to get down and jump the wall dividing our house

"we need your help- well I need your help, Bill wants your opinion on his fit but I don't know what to wear so I’m more important" Tom sighed, at the moment he was just in a wife beater and jorts, his dreads in a mess around his head "and- I need to show you something"

"well lets go then!" we hurried into the house and Bill was sipping a coke and smiled seeing me walk through

"Y/N YES LOOK AT YOU!" he snapped his fingers as I model stepped in, 'flipping' my hair and blowing a kiss "alright what about me?" he was in a black leather jacket, matching black skinny jeans, a Dimond skull belt and chains around his neck, hair on end (in a good way) and a deep smokey eye

"absolutely- I fucking love it!" he smiled getting all giddy "bad bitch vibes- or a good fuckable emo, either really" the boy blushed wrapping me in a hug

"okay go help useless over here now" I rolled my eyes and followed the other Kaulitz up the stairs to his room where clothes were dropped everywhere

"so... what happened?' I asked seeing him shrug "right well... these jeans- dark denim is a look then, where's your green and yellow cap?" I asked seeing him pull a draw open full of at least 50 hats

"what head thing?" he spoke opening the draw above "black?" I nodded opening his wardrobe and pulling a yellow and dark green print, white back shirt out (this is the fits)

"here, change" I spoke seeing him pull his vest off and quickly put the new shirt over, he was finally done fixing individual strands of hair in his ponytail and sprayed a dark smelling cologne on "okay that looks GOOD" I complemented seeing a smile form on his lips

"oh I can show you the thing now" he laughed walking into the hall and bring a small box back in "look I'm proposing!" he got onto his knee holding the said box

"oh Tom-" I played pretending to wipe my eyes "I do!" he shoved me away and opened the box revealing a small ring- gold and had our band logo engraved in it "holy shit! thats amazing!" I called pulling the ring out "do we all have one" the boy excitedly nodded pulling his hand up showing a bigger and chunkier version

"mom got them for us 5, they're so cool" I nodded admiring the metal around my finger "Bill's and Gustav's are in silver as they prefer it"

"god I love your mom" I sighed happily standing up and walking into the hall "THANK YOU SIMMY!" her laugh filled the hall followed by a 'no problem doll'

"KIDS COME ON WE NEED TO GO!" Gordons voice echoed from down stairs and in great style and slow steps me and Tom got into the car, in the backseat as Bill was first in "we have to hurry up its already 25 past" he grumbled starting the engine

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"Welcome to the red seats- Tokio Hotel!" our interviewer names Karter Male introduced, monsoon began playing in the background followed by many screams, Bill was pushed on first closely followed by the rest of us and as we all came into view the noise only got louder "ahah welcome!" we all smiled waving to the people

"hi!" we laughed, Bill was closest to the table followed by Tom, me Georg and Gustav who were relaxing back into the seats "thank you for having us" Bill began

"no its our pleasure, so would you like to introduce yourselves for the people who don't know you all?" we nodded and looked to our lead singer

"oh- I'm Bill Kaulitz, lead singer on Tokio Hotel"

"Hey, I'm Tom Kaulitz, his brother also older by ten minuets and I play electric guitar for Tokio Hotel"

"hello, I'm Y/n Y/l/n, the backing singer for Tokio Hotel" I herd a wolf whistle come from the audience causing me to giggle "thank you" but the boy to the left of me face dropped but I tried to ignore his mood

"evening, I'm Georg Listing and I play bass for Tokio Hotel"

"hi I'm Gustav schäfer and i play drums for Tokio Hotel" claps filled the room and the interviewer grinned

"so now we know you recently got back from doing a mini-tour sort of thing right?" murmurs of 'yes' and 'yeah' ran through us five until Bill started talking

"yesterday actually, we did our last show in the afternoon and all went back to Y/n's parents house for the night and seeing our families was a massive relief as we hadn't seen them in weeks"

"thats wonderful, well going back onto your small tour we herd in Tier that there was a new song? and its was sang by Y/n, can you tell us little about that?" Karter looked to me and I looked to the boys who gave me the nod

"of course, it's called 'Don't jump' and it has so much meaning and I mean nobody has all day to listen to me ramble but its from when I was in a very dark place due to privet things and instead of being sad 24/7 I made it into lyrics and I finally performed it in Tier, I think next shows when we play it Bill will sing as he's much better than I am" I laughed hearing the crow 'aw' at me "but yeah its a beautiful song- not to blow my own horn or anything" The interview carried on and the boys getting asked different thing then turned to the 'public questions'

"so we've had a few questions from your adoring fans who will be watching from home, this one is for all of you actually- from Hallie, 15, she said 'hello Tokio Hotel, my question is- are you all single or seeing people?' so?" I watched as Georg and Gustav nodded their heads saying 'yes we are' Tom and Bill also but then I remembered I hadn't come out publicly about my spilt yet

"yeah we all are" I spoke hearing a gasp but quickly brushed it off

"well erm... next question for Tom from Suzana 'Hey Tom, I was wondering if you have a type?'" the audience laughed as the guitarist became a little tense, scratching his neck

"well.. if you're pretty and have a nice smile I don't have a issue" girls in the crowd cheered and a blush covered his cheeks, I patted his shoulder to which he looked back to me pulling his lips taught as if to say 'what the fuck'

"right, our next questions will be from the audience!, so let's start" we watched a runner hop up the stairs to a smiling blonde girl who was wearing a tour shirt

"Hi! I'm Rebecca and I have a question for Gustav!" we watched as the boys eyes lit up and a smile spread on his face "I was wondering what your favourite song- out side of the band- is to play?" that was surprisingly quite a nice question

"oh erm... I like quite rock sorta music so probably Nirvana?" she thanked him and blew a kiss to which his cheeks only got redder, the runner went to another girl, smaller and younger looking with brown piggytails

"hello... I'm Francine and I have a question for Y/n" my eyes softened seeing her nervousness

"lets hear it!" I grinned

"I- I was wondering whats your favourite colour and why? because I think you look beautiful in green and purple!" she giggled making me pout at her sweetness, Tom was smiling at me as I held my heart

"aw thank you Francine thats so nice of you, I'd say my favourite colour is... baby yellow though I never wear it, my mom calls me sunshine and that colour reminds me of her" the girl said her thanks and the questions continued

"so this will be our last question for Tokio Hotel tonight as our show is near an end!" Karter spoke pointing to the camera and it spun to the last fan

"hey guys! I love you all so much by the way- but my question is for Tom and Y/n" me and the boy looked to each other then back to the brunette "I'm guessing you've seen the ships between you on social media?" being the only girl in a group of 4 boys sometimes came with it's downsides, those being 'shipped' with all of them and people making up rumours "the most common being that you two secretly love each other, well I was wondering if any part of that was true?" I let my laugh slip but Tom's brows furrowed

"yes I do love Y/n, she's one of the most important people in my life of course but the way people make us out is completely wrong- she's like a sister I mean she may as well be related to me and Bill we've know each other since we were what born?" I nodded listening to his words but I couldn't help but know that everything the fans imagined wasn't completely wrong.. and he knew that too

"yeah like he said we love each other but its platonic!" I added seeing the crowd sigh at the disappointment

"you'd make a good couple though" Karter added "you'd be the hottest new thing since people like Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore" I rolled my eyes at the words but Tom seemed to like the idea and shoved me with his elbow "thats all we have time for folks, thank you Tokio Hotel for being here tonight! bye!" we all waved and the crowd applauded, the lights dimmed meaning we all had to go backstage.

"he's gonna come back here in a second to have photos with you guys so if you'd like to wait in the dressing room please feel free!" a runner smiled looking to us pointing up the hall, we all walked into the air conditioned room and fell onto the matching red sofas from set

"that was I think the most comfortable interview we've ever done" I spoke scratching my head, fixing my hair. Tom scoffed folding his arms "what? don't you guys agree?"

"I think he was playing favourites all the way through" Bill spoke opening a water "but yeah it was fine"

"I agree" Georg added, I personally didn't know what their issue was but I mean they are edgy, angry teen boys anything ticked them off. we sat in silence until the door opened with Karter smiling widely at the five of us

"Ah Tokio Hotel- thank you for tonight it went beautifully! shall we take some photos?" he asked fixing his suit jacket as we all stood "perfect, follow me" he instructed going out the door, Bill grabbed the door before It slammed into us all and held it open nodding his head allowing me first to which I whispered a quick thank you and slipped through following the man "okay so erm.. shall we have twins next to me, then Y/n on this side with Gustav and Georg" we all lined up in front of the photographer who was bending with a camera

"3...2..1" he spoke clicking the button and a flash blared our eyes "grate, we'll get a few more" he spoke fixing his position

"so what did you think of the interview guys?" Karter asked looking to his side "fun?" his hand which was now on the small of my back jolted slightly

"ah yeah it was nice we were just saying" I answered as the boys stayed silent "the people who asked the questions were so sweet" the photos continued and so did his hand, slowly his hand went my hip, thigh and then as he moved it to my ass I pulled away "were not doing that" I quickly spoke pulling my own hand away from being behind him

"sorry- its very inviting!" his eyes narrowed looking down and back up to me

"we're fucking done-" Bill started walking out the room and going to the exit door followed by Georg and Gustav as he shouted curses

"Y/n come on" Tom grabbed my arm shoving the man out the way "she's fucking 17 you prick" I didn't get a look at the man after that before Tom was yanking me through the doors out the building to the car where his step-dad was stood "were going straight home"

"Bill went with the lads" Gordon pointed as Georg's car pulled from the space with a roar of the engine "come on we need to be quick the meal is in like an hour and a half"

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"hey darlings how was the interview?" Simone asked as we went into the Kaulitz' house "it looked good"

"we're never going on that show again" Tom murmured walking to the kitchen and grabbing a drink from the fridge "fucking looking Y/n up and down like she was someone to hook up with"

"what!" Simone started looking to me "are you okay sweetheart?" I nodded my head realising what Tom said

"anyways I need to shower" the twin grumbled walking up the stairs "Y/n I need you first" he shouted back down the stairs

"oh okay- sorry Simmy I'll be back" she smiled turning back to the tv as I made my way up the stairs to the boys room where I could here him shuffling about saying things to himself "Tom?" I walked in to see him standing at his mirror top off and belt half way undone

"shut the door" I did as he said looking at him oddly, I turned and shut the door behind my self and looked back to him "you didn't see what he was doing that whole interview did you?" I shook my head no "right well we all did, he was trying to see up your skirt- stared right at your tits, lips, eyes, legs- everything" I felt a lump in my throat as his brown eyes became darker looking at me "and no man can do that to you-" I nodded stepping over to him and wrapping my arms around him hiding my face in his color bone

"well though I fucking hate that- I'm okay don't get worked up okay? this sounds so cringy but he can't touch me like that ever again either because I'll brake his wrist" Tom looked down to me with a small smile spreading along his lips as he played with his lip piercing

"yeah nobody can ever fucking touch you there" I rolled my eyes seeing his eyes go serious in a jokey way "unless its me of course"

"oh yeah- of course, anyways you need a shower and come my house after help me chose my outfit for tonight" he nodded hugging me back quickly before going to his shower leaving me to go back home

┍━━━━━━━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━━━━━━━┑

I was sat in my bedroom flicking through my radio until I found a station playing a song I liked, Brittany Spears started playing, I started dancing around my room like I was her and nodding my head along to the lyrics of freak show 'Make it a Freakshow freakshow We can give 'em a Peepshow, peepshow Don't stop it let it flow Let your inhibitions go It's a crazy night Let's make a make a freakshow'

"Y/n!" I scream left my mouth as I turned to see Tom stood in my door frame laughing "what the fuck are you doing?"

"can you knock! I think I shit myself" he pulled his fist to the door and knocked with a cocky smile "haha" I spoke sarcastically, soon he fully walked into the room and my jaw did nearly fall to the floor, he was in black suit bottoms and a white button up blouse, rings around his fingers and his necklace on show, dreads in a messy bun

"wow! you look good! pulling out all the stops Thomas" I complemented seeing him become a little shy "genuinely you look amazing"

"thanks, I mean were going to the Stadtpfeiffer restaurant so I wanna look good" he popped his chest looking at himself in the mirror "what are you wearing?" he asked looking at me as I stood in joggers and a tank top

"a dress but can't decide which, wanna chose?" I'd never seen him walk quicker in my life, the doors flew open revealing all my 'fancier' clothes and his hands moved quickly through the hangers, until he pulled a red dress with a black rose lace pattern on top "really? don't think this might be a bit scandalous for a family dinner?" Tom smirked placing the dress onto the chair and turned back to the wardrobe "wait- no don't open tha-" I watched as his hand reached for the draw full of my 'sexy' clothes

"fucking hell Y/n how many thongs do you need?" he laughed looking back at me, he dug through them until he pulled a red lacy Victoria secret pantie out and threw it at me "here, wear that underneath" with a sigh I went to the bathroom and slipped into the clothes, I stared into the mirror and regretted ever letting him chose my outfit "let me see!" he called from the other room

"okay-" I walked into my bedroom and his eyes widened, lip tucked between his teeth and his hands dug harder into the bed "like?" I asked twirling

"like is a understatement" Tom hummed "god you look so hot right now- I literally don't have words" a small blush painted my cheeks as I stepped into my full body mirror, I turned to check my reflection but all I could see was the guitarist staring in awe

"my eyes are here" I laughed seeing him nod "okay well make up and hair now" the boy seemed to be confused "what?"

"you don't have make up on?" I shook my head turning to him "so you are just naturally gorgeous? fuck" I rolled my eyes sitting on the chair where the dress once lay, I pulled my make up draw open and picked out my foundation and began the process I came to love over the tour, dark eyes and a dark red lip , next my hair I decided to have it straight down and hair-sprayed it into place

"okay I'm done!' Tom looked up from the magazine he found himself flicking through and a smile spread across his face "too much?" I asked seeing his head shake "sure?"

"you look perfect Y/n" I grinned standing and going over to the wall wear my jewellery hung grabbing a necklace and a few rings and bracelets "you need shoes" Tom quipped abruptly going into the box under my bed full of misilanious shoes, he rummaged through for a while before pulling out my chunky Mary Janes I sat back on the sheets of my bed waiting for him to hand over the shoes but he stayed down, grabbing my ankle and slowly slipped the shoe onto my foot "Tell me when the shoes tight enough alright?" I nodded seeing him thread the strap through and pulling it taught

"there" he quickly pressed the buckle through and moved to my right foot doing the same before kissing my bare knees "you are so cute Kaulitz" soon his hands reached mine and we stood together "thank you- I love it all"

"no problem"

The time ticked slowly as me and Tom waited for everyone to be ready as in fairness we were done quite quickly, I sat at the desk with my computer on, flicking through web pages while Tom was messing around with my ukulele that one day just appeared in my room. I scrolled down a page until I saw a subtitle of 'picture ideas' and I immediately knew what we'd be doing to pass the time, the first one was the girl holding the camera above the couple and the boy holding her- perfect

"come here were taking these photos" I called bring the boy back to me, he stood fixing his outfit and passing me my phone and standing with me "okay so you need to-"

"I can see what I've gotta do babe" Tom soothed into my ear, wrapping his arms around my waist and placing his forehead into the crook of my neck "take it" with a click of my button the photo snapped, and we did this about 50 more times, standing in the mirror, at the window, and my poster wall

"perfect" I smiled flicking through the pictures "we look so good" cheering I looked back to see Tom looking to me, eyes scanning my body and face "you okay?"

"fine, just can't stop staring" a blush tinted my cheeks, over the past few days the flirting gone from funny to romantic giving me new feelings of giddiness every time

"Tom your making me red" my cheeks were aching from the smile I couldn't hold back

"good"

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the clock struck 8:45pm meaning everyone getting in the cars to go to the Stadtpfeiffer, Bill had come back earlier and so the Kaulitz went in their car and I went with my family, me and Stella sat in the back dancing along to the music playing on the radio "what were you and Tom doing Sunshine? I could hear you laughing like you've just seen the funniest thing in the world!" I sighed with a smile to her words

"oh taking stupid photos together" but they weren't stupid- anything but, every time I looked at one my stomach felt ticklish and my chest heaved with a feeling I couldn't explain

"oh very nice, you'll have to show me" I laughed at her words mumbling a line of 'sure' after another 20 minuets we finally arrived and it look beautiful, the yellow haze lights illuminating the entrance and fancy jazz music filled our ears "oh my-"

After us the Kaulitz' arrived, the boys walked straight over to me laughing about something "evening" Bill nudged to me "I have something to tell you after by the way" I looked oddly at the boy who only smiled and followed his stepdad to my dad, I turned to Tom who shrugged

"you smell good" I commented smelling his cologne

"Paco Rabanne" he spoke lifting his arm to me so I could smell it better "oh and send me those photos will you, I need them" his voice became seductive making my knees weak and I all I did was hum in response "thank you angel"

“Stop it Thomas- we’re in public” I giggled seeing his eyebrows rise

“That’s only gonna make me worse” my heart stoped for a moment at his words- what’s did he mean by worse?

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writing-for-life · 1 year

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Sandman Master Post and Intro

Hi, I’m so glad you’re here! This started out as a small blog but has developed a horrifying (^jk) life of its own over the past two years, so it was about time I organised the links and tags to all my Sandman stuff for you to make it easier to find your way around.

I love getting asks, about analysis, about my fics, prompts or generally just to chat, so see this as an encouragement to slide into my inbox…

[For quick reference:]

[The Ultimate Sandman Character Tag Library]

[The Women of the Sandman Tag Library]

[Sandman Comics: Original Artists Library]

[Sandman Reread (Comics)]

[Sandman Rewatch (Netflix)]

[Sandman Reference: How to Collect the Comics, Companion Books, Annotations/Reference Literature etc]

[In Light of Recent Allegations]

Ordered by topics (recommended):

Sandman Meta-Analysis (general "sandman meta"-tag, also contains contributions to other people's posts. You can find my own metas grouped into literary/conceptual/psychological, musical and art, and I definitely recommend perusing both links and the main tag)

The Sandman Book Club Community: Just follow the link if you’d like to join

Sandman Fics (m/f and f/f, both OC and canon pairings) & Poems

I’m also Dream’s Therapist. I think we all agree he needs one

Sandman Art (general tag that contains all art posts. I have also grouped them into my own art and art of others). Separate tag for official Sandman artists

Sandman March Mania was an event we specifically ran for the comics art lovers, so check it out

Sparkle Content Curation (a not-quite-serious collection of Dream/Morpheus thirst-trap fan-art and unhinged posts). Please also peruse the tags #contraceptive sparkles, #glitter herpes and #murphy and his cool hat (yes, I am sort of responsible for the #muhulhu tag on here) if this hell-site has left you in a state of being desperate for laughs

A Little Intro…

…and why this blog will keep on existing

Once there was a girl with so many words, so many images, so many songs in her head that had no place to go. So she decided some of them will just go here…

Well, that sounds a bit contrived, but it’s not entirely untrue. Apart from the “girl”-part, because I’m at the younger end of Gen X. Or the “no place to go”-part, because some of my work actually *did* go places. Just not the stuff I decided to put on here…

Which is mostly Sandman stuff right now, let’s be honest (I fell in love with it when I was 16, and it still has a tight grip on me three decades later). And the fact that my blog a wild mix between my metas, my fanfic and a bit of my doodling already shows the pull in different directions I have experienced for most of my life:

I’ve worked in science/academia, creative/performing arts and mental health. I guess I’m just a multi-hyphenate who can’t make up her mind what she wants to do with her life, so she tries to do it all and ends up burned out half of the time.

Somewhere along the way, I managed to publish a few novels under a pen name, and only a select few people know about it. And I intend to keep it that way.

I used to draw much more (mostly pencil and ink), but between working and having a family, something had to give, and if I have to choose, writing always comes first. But I doodle and experiment a lot in Procreate, and it usually helps me when I procrastinate on my writing. I drop the odd drawing in here (like my profile pic), but I don’t see myself as a fine artist, and I’m in perpetual awe of the talent I see on here.

This is just an account for unapologetically being me, with all my hyperfixations—and undoubtedly some pointless shitposts just for fun…

In light of recent happenings, I explained my personal stance and, by extension, why this blog will keep on existing.

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drdemonprince · 7 months

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resource anon again here, i just read the ask where you talked about how you fantasise about a time you were abused in which you had an involuntary orgasm. i just wanted to say that it's... helpful to see someone talk about that aspect of sexual abuse in a chill way. the fact that i orgasmed, or experienced some degree of sexual pleasure during some of my assaults fucked me up for YEEEAAARRSSS. i used to be able to come so fast but now if someone else is pleasuring me i literally cannot orgasm sooner than like 1 hour and it takes unfathomable focus. and 99% of the time it's unsatisfying because it's not intuitive, shame-free, non-judgemental. i'm like fighting tooth and claw against painful intrusive memories and obsessive thoughts and it just leaves me exhausted in a bad way. i didn't even share with ANYONE that i experienced sexual pleasure during assault/s until my current psych and it was like a year after i started seeing her, i opened up about it once and that was it. it was so completely tied in with shame and disgust. anyway thanks again, this was my Confession. i hope i can fuck wild n free one day without the burden of these messy confusing thoughts and feelings

Hey anon, thanks for your message, and I am so sorry that you have been made to feel so much shame about an involuntary reaction that is not your fault, and happens to a whole lot more sexual assault survivors than gets widely talked about. It is just a thing that happens, and in fact may be a physically protective measure, because if a person's body is aroused during the experience of being assaulted, it is less likely they will experience physical damage to that area.

Our sexual responses are unusual and unexpected sometimes, and we don't always get to choose what we enjoy or how our bodies react. Your sexual assault isn't any less of a violation because you orgasmed from it. And it's not weird or gross that you did.

My experience with sexual responsiveness following the assault was something of the mirror image of yours, which I'll share because I think it's useful again in normalizing such things. The orgasm that I had while being assaulted was so sudden and intense that it cast a long shadow over all my sexual experiences afterward for while. I didn't get triggered during vanilla, consensual sex in the way people normally expect that to mean -- instead, I craved the intensity and overwhelm of the assault experience. It's not that uncommon for survivors to go numb and check out during sex, of course. But I would actively bring myself to orgasm during these moments by thinking about getting assaulted, and recalling things that were said and done to me moment-by-moment during the assault that brought me to orgasm. I would also masturbate replaying the assault for a very long time, and every now and then it's still something I'll reach for.

I don't feel any shame about this. The brain does unusual things, and draws all kinds of funny and upsetting connections at times. Perhaps this doesn't jar me so much because I have always had intrusive thoughts of violence and death but also of tenderness and childish happiness and random absurdity. I don't feel fully in control of my mind, and never have, so I can go along for the ride with what it has to offer me sometimes.

The person who assaulted me isn't able to hurt me anymore, and I feel relief and a sense of victory from the fact that I have extracted from this awful experience a ton of pleasure. At this point, almost 13 years later, I can say that jerking off to the idea of the assault has brought me so much pleasure collectively over the years that it overwhelms any pain the initial experience had. And I think that's pretty cool.

I hope that you can work through your understandable feelings of disgust and shame about your body's reaction to your assault on your own terms and in whatever way works for you. Some people cope with assault and its aftermath by age regressing, others by being celibate, others by finding a completely new sexual identity or role from what they previously enjoyed, some by becoming super vanilla, others by becoming kinky, some people just wait it out with time, and some people find a way to live with the trauma and darkness running alongside them in parallel to their life for as long as it will. There are no rules. Whatever works and feels natural to you.

I'm sure many a psychiatrist would consider me super duper fucked up for jerking off about my rape for over a decade afterward, but i'm having great orgasms and indulging my penchant for being controlled and used far more healthfully now in my relationships because I've embraced what feels like a true rush of aliveness for me, so like, fuck them and their profession as usual lol.

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tacoma-narrows · 10 hours

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Twenty (Three!) Years of Humanistic!

Abandoned Pools' first album, Humanistic was released 23 years ago today, on September 25th, 2001! For anyone who doesn't know, Abandoned Pools is my all time favorite band! I found them through Clone High in September of 2020 and immediately connected with a LOT of their songs, and in that time, Humanistic became my all time favorite album! A spot that it still retains to this day hehe.

So when I found out that the following year, almost a year to the day from when I started listening to Abandoned Pools, was Humanistic's 20th anniversary, I knew I wanted to make something big for that occasion! I ended up making a drawing based on each song in the album! This is similar to what I did for Owl City's album Cinematic later on, which I posted last year.

This is also sort of a look at proto Let's Get Back! in a way! I made this when LGB! was still just a duo act with PB and Shep, since Rye and Pumpernickel didn't join the lineup until I was about halfway through the project, and the band wasn't officially named Let's Get Back! until February of 2022 lol. The cover image here is based on the actual album cover for Humanistic, and I edited later to say "Covers by Let's Get Back!" to make it consistent with the rest of my LGB! art :3

Each piece in the series is below the cut along with the song they're connected to and some explanation about each one. Again, these pieces are three years old at this point, so some of the art is a bit wonky looking and some of these piece I'd do differently if I were to do them today, but most of them still hold up pretty well I think! :D

1: The Remedy

I based this one on the line “save your breath, your soul is hollow” and wanted to do something simplistic but still interesting! According to my friend who also likes the song, this is “exactly how that song feels” lol. It was fun working with silhouettes here, which is something I've done here and there in the time since.

2: Mercy Kiss

I decided to not actually draw them kissing bc the song says “I don’t need your mercy kiss” haha. Wanted to capture sort of a defiant attitude for this one. Posing is a little off here, and I've tweaked some minor things abt their design but overall one that I'm still pretty happy with :]

3: Start Over

I was SUPER happy with the posing on this one, I love the sense of motion it has. Basically, I wanted to express being stuck in a cycle and just wanting to go back to the way things were, which was something I was REALLY feeling at the time, but is still sort of applicable today.

4: Monster

Another one I REALLY like, with this one, I wanted to show that I can be a force to be reckoned with when standing up for myself. Or at least that’s how the song makes me feel. It’s a good rampage song too. This is another case where I really like how the pose came out. As you can also see, this is the only piece without PB since I wasn't sure how to incorporate him into this idea, but I’m sure he’s still involved somehow lol. Also this is the best song called Monster, I do not take criticism at this time.

5: Blood

Blood always feels like a sort of gloomy, spiral-y type song, so that’s what I went for. The line “we watch it burn, and we never learn, this can’t be what you’re waiting for” was really the focus for this one. A neat vibe with this one overall I think that I'm pretty happy with.

6: Suburban Muse

Suburban Muse makes me think of like, a fake sitcom town where things look normal, but things aren’t as great as they seem if you look a little closer. It even says “cue the canned applause” at one point. Also, those sort of, weird reality dreamscape neighborhood liminal space images like this where you can see where it's coming from but they just feel, off y'know

7: Sunny Day

This one is kinda weird because Sunny Day is kinda weird (though in like the best possible way, I love it). I couldn’t quite come up with a solid idea for both my OCs here, so I based them on two separate lines: “my head is inside a cloud” for PB, and “get off the bathroom floor” for Shep. In hindsight, I don't think the two separate lines approach really worked here since it feels more disjointed and not really representative of the full song, but I still like it well enough.

8: L.V.B.D.

This one was hard to come up with something for. I’ve never been super crazy abt L.V.B.D. since it feels, Very Hetero™ and I’m not about that. But it’s still sounds great and I’m definitely super glad it’s part of the album. Went for drawing Shep and PB here as little stuffed dolls, which is related to the acronym in the song’s title (which stands for Little Virgin Baby Doll) and I couldn’t think of anything better aha. I should draw plushies more often though

9: Ruin Your Life

Important: Shep and PB are only upset with upset with each other for the sake of this drawing, as I refuse to let anything bad happen between them for real. Anyways, the expressions were really fun in this one, and oh boy does this song feel very relatable over the last year or so.

10: Never

This one is very similar to Ruin Your Life for me, where it’s a sort of comforting during a dark time kind of way. Just crossing the days off hoping that things will get better soon, that’s what I went for here. The calendar is listed as 10/12 since this is the 10th song out of the 12 on the album, and the image is a reference to a previous drawing I had done of PB and Shep together :3

11: Seed

Personally, Seed is my least favorite song from the album as a whole, for similar reasons to L.V.B.D. but in a, more gross kinda way that conflicts with my ace side. The song still sounds great musically for sure. Even tho I’m not super crazy abt the song, I actually really like how this drawing came out, in fact it might be my favorite out of the whole batch, ironically enough lol. The boys are looking down into a hole from the line “there’s no more grace to fall from, there’s nowhere left to go but down” and I'm really happy with how the perspective turned out!

12: Fluorescein

Finally, Fluorescein is my favorite song of the entire album, and my favorite song in general! It’s so aggressive and loud, I love it. I decided to draw PB confronting a giant Shep bc the song makes me feel like I can take on a huge adversary and win >:] Although I do like what I chose to do here, I kinda wish I had come up with something better to represent my all time favorite song lol

So in conclusion, like I said, Humanistic is my all time favorite album and it means so much to me. Really all of AP’s work really means a lot to me, but Humanistic in particular. I found the band through watching Clone High and I am all the better for it. So thank you to Abandoned Pools for making something that I’ve gotten so much out of and I absolutely cannot wait for the sixth album coming at the end of next year!! :D

So I hope you guys liked this little trip down memory lane with me, and if you're also an enjoyer of Abandoned Pools, please let me know what you think of these and what your favorite AP songs are! I'd love to know! And if you don't listen to Abandoned Pools, I highly recommend their music if you can't tell lol. If you enjoy early 2000s alt rock sort of stuff, there's a solid chance you'll enjoy Abandoned Pools :3

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phantomspiderr · 2 years

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New Year

Pairing: Marc Spector x gn!reader

Word Count: 2.5k+

Summary: Layla invites you to her New Year's Eve party where you get the chance to meet her ex-husband

Warnings/Tags: mentions of drinking and partying, kind of want drunk Layla around now, Marc maybe being just a little creepy, he really doesn't know how to act around people sometimes, fireworks are mentioned too, again no real mentions of readers appearance or gender(I tried to use they/them so it's a little more neutral), Steven gets a lil mention, a little swearing too. As always if I've missed anything please let me know!

a/n: Thank you, thank you all so so so much for making this year better. If you're a casual follower of my very infrequent posting or this is the first time you've come across my work, I thank you. Being able to express myself in this way has been freeing, and stressful but I'm glad I could bring any amount of joy to even one person. Thank you for every like and every reblog and every comment. I wish you all the best for this new year, may it come with happiness and joy and hopefully more really good fanfiction to read. Sending you all a little bit of love🤍

･☆: *.☽ .* :☆

Music blares throughout the flat as you weave around the people littered through the hallway. Parties definitely aren’t your favourite place to be but for your friend, you’d do anything she asked, plus it’s New Year's Eve so you thought why not. You may not have recognised a single person since you’d arrived but this is fun, this is what you’re supposed to do at your age right? Before you have any more time to fret a squeal sounds from behind you, your name quickly following, “you came!” When you turn Layla is quickly coming towards you with her arms wide open, a few people looking in your direction now because of the noise. You only manage to squeak out a hi before you’re encompassed by Layla, her arms tight around your shoulders, the force of her body against yours knocking the wind out of you. She pulls back only a little to cup your face in her hands, “I’m really glad you’re here.” You can tell by the tint of red on her cheeks she’s already a few drinks down which apparently makes her a bit more affectionate.

“Layla!” A small group of people enters the room immediately drawing the attention of the beautiful host to them, her hands dropping down to yours and she squeals again. Quickly turning back to you for just a moment, “I’ll come find you later! Have fun! Enjoy!” And just like that, she’s off running to greet more of her friends.

You wander around the decently sized flat for a while after that, finding a drink in the makeshift bar set up in the kitchen along the way, briefly chatting to a few people around, and then of course you find yourself a quiet corner. Looking amongst shelves filled with treasures and memories of Layla’s many adventures, she’d told you stories over casual lunches, even invited you on her next one. Still, even after being friends for very nearly a year, there’s still so much mystery that follows her everywhere she goes. You eventually come across a picture of someone you recognise, Layla’s father, the one person she was more than fond of talking about. She’d told you many, many tales about her father, about all the places he’d been, the things he’d discovered, and about how she wanted to be just like him. You admire the picture in its intricate gold frame, a small pendant hangs on a chain over the top of the frame, something you’re sure is a treasured possession. Your hand moves upward, fingers extending to the pendant just to get a better look at it-

“I wouldn’t touch that if I were you,” your hand retreats to your chest so quickly you almost knock the drink out of your other hand. The person who spoke much too close for your liking, and then the chuckle that follows your gasp is short-lived as you turn to the source of the warning. You’re met with an incredibly good-looking man, his hair loosely slicked back and an amused smirk gracing his really handsome features. If he hadn’t just creepily snuck up on you you’d maybe be interested in talking to him and your expression clearly shows that when you turn back around in hopes he’ll just disappear. He doesn’t. “Sorry, it’s just that she’d be devastated if that went missing.”

“I wasn’t going to steal it.” You snap a little too harshly but then again you think he’s insinuating you’d steal from your friend. You’re increasingly becoming more frustrated the longer he stands over your shoulder, his presence is too much for you.

“I didn’t say you were. I’ve met a lot of thieves, you’re definitely not built for that.” You’re annoyed now, scowling at this complete stranger when you turn back around.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Just as the man opens his mouth to reply Layla appears again, her arm hooking around your waist to pull you closer and your face instantly changes, smiling at your ever-so-happy friend. Your own arm wrapping around her, glad for the interruption, she scrunches her nose as you exchange cute little hi’s.

“Are you having fun?” The people pleaser in you manages to get out an 'mhmm' and force a fake smile, not that Layla would notice right now. You’ve only seen her in this state maybe a handful of times, she’s less observant and much more carefree. Your eyes flicker back to the stranger still lurking across from you, Layla only now registering his presence, “ahh Marc! You met Marc!”

Marc? That’s Marc?!

Layla had told you all about Marc and even tried to set you up with her ex-husband. What kind of friend tries to set you up with their ex-husband? That is exactly what you’d said to her before changing the subject, every time she tried to bring it up. You’d somehow managed to miss every opportunity to meet most of Layla’s other friends, lots of them living in different countries and only coming to visit for short periods of time but you knew Marc had lived here and you’d personally avoided trying to meet him, not wanting to make things awkward. You knew Layla’s type for partners, they were all extremely good-looking and in your opinion way out of your league and you just didn't feel like having another unrequited crush.

“This is the husband?!” You finally manage to get out with confusion etching your features as you look between the pair.

“Ex! Ex-husband!” Marc is a little too quick to correct. You’re sure you hear a ‘smooth’ and when you look at Layla she’s grinning. Marc only gives her a grumpy look before quickly excusing himself from the conversation.

“Soooooooo,” Layla draws out as she turns to face you, her hands slipping into your free one, “what did you think?”

“Of Marc?” Your face scrunches, to which Layla just scoffs, “you didn’t tell me he was a creep.” She scoffs again, this time giggling a little.

Layla leans in as if to whisper, she even has the audacity to lift her hand to the side of her mouth but the alcohol in her system inhibits her from being able to lower her volume, “he’s just nervous to be around you. He gets weird like that around people he likes!”

“Excuse me?!” You go wide-eyed, did you hear her right? But of course, before she gets a chance to reply someone calls her name, and her head whips around, your conversation was completely forgotten to her now.

“Oh, come on they're playing beer pong!” Layla tugs at your hand, a disappointed pout appearing when you shake your head and begin to decline, “please, please, please.” She begs in the way she knows you can’t say no to and so you let her drag you toward the kitchen, still thinking about the short conversation you'd just had.

It’s almost midnight when you stumble out of the kitchen, many games of beer pong down and an even drunker Layla staying behind to do shots. Drunk Layla has exactly no inhibitions and is definitely more affectionate than normal Layla. Now you’re in need of some fresh air, all of the laughter and closeness in the kitchen is proving a bit much for you. Luckily you can see no one has made it out to the little makeshift balcony so you awkwardly climb through the window. Once outside you feel like you’re able to breathe again, you truly hadn’t realised how stuffy it had been inside. You manage to take in a deep breath before the cold hits you hard, and your body immediately reacts. Your arms wrap around your body, hands rubbing along the tops of your arms to create some warmth.

“It's cold out.” You jump again at unexpectedly hearing Marc’s voice, turning on your heels thinking he’s behind you only for no one to be there. “Up here,” you look up to the side when he talks again, there he is perched on top of an old chimney, giving you a shy wave.

“You know you have the whole creepy stalker thing down,” you speak half-heartedly but still he chuckles.

“Hey, you came to me this time.” He raises his eyebrow and shrugs his shoulders.

“You are the one sitting alone like some bird on the rooftop,” your arms fold over your chest now and Marc mumbles something you don’t quite hear before he effortlessly slides off of the chimney and casually walks down the slight incline of the roof like he’s done it a hundred times before.

“I’m not really one for parties,” you watch as he shrugs off his thin jacket, leaving him in just a t-shirt and you wonder how he isn’t freezing out here and why he's even taking his jacket off, to begin with. “Y’know it’s December, you really shouldn’t go out without a jacket,” he holds the material out to you which your confusion-clouded brain takes. Then he turns away to lean his elbows down on the balcony railing, looking out onto the lively streets of London. You feel yourself soften a little, maybe you were a bit quick to judge him and brand him a creep.

“Me too,” you pull the jacket on and join him next to the railing, watching people in nearby streets celebrating.

“So, how come you’re here?” Marc twists his head to the side so he can just look at you.

“Layla,” Marc hums in agreement, “said she’d disown me if I didn’t.” That makes Marc laugh which turns out to be a pleasant sound when you don’t think he’s trying to be some kind of perv.

“Sounds like something she’d do.”

“She didn’t actually say that, it was more like,” you think for a second, preparing yourself for your best Layla impression “‘please you always miss my parties, I want everyone to meet you!’” Your hands had somehow gripped onto his bicep in the process, exactly how you remembered the conversation with Layla going.

It all makes Marc laugh again, “that sounded nothing like her!”

“Eh, close enough,” you lean your elbows against the railing, mirroring Marc’s stance now. The balcony is so small that you have no choice but to stand a little too close to him. There’s a little pause, Marc’s laughter dying out but the sound of the party still flowing through the window. “So, how come you’re here?” You nudge your shoulder against his arm to draw his attention.

“Uh, something similar.” Suddenly he’s acting a little hostile, his body goes more rigid and his expression hardens a little. Then there’s an awkward silence and you just try to focus on some passersby on the street below. “She was a bit more like ‘please! I want you there and you need to leave the house. Plus I know you want to meet a certain person and I promise to make sure they’re there!’” You lock eyes together for a quiet moment before both bursting into laughter.

“That was terrible!” You choke out between laughs and before Marc has time to reply, loud calls draw your attention away. Everyone inside seems to have crowded around all facing the tv and all shouting along with the countdown appearing on the screen.

“Hey look out right over there, between that gap in the buildings.” Marc points out off to the side, stealing your attention back and you look hard for what he’s trying to point out. You can only see the hue of light coming from buildings and street lamps, nothing else.

“There’s nothing-“

“Just wait,” you look at him confused for a moment but his eyes are transfixed on the horizon and you can just hear him whispering along with the loud countdown coming from inside.

3…2…1…

The sky explodes into colour in front of your very eyes. Fireworks light up the night sky, far enough away that the bangs aren’t too loud but the view is still spectacular. You can hear cheers all around, from inside Layla’s flat to the pubs down the street. Marc’s face glows with the colours in the sky and he’s smiling while he watches the fireworks. He almost looks childlike like this, like he’s never experienced it before and he’s captivating.

“Happy New Year then.” Marc straightens suddenly, catching you completely off guard, almost like he’d just snapped back into his body and he just holds his hand out toward you. Slowly you raise your own hand into his, replying with a simple, “happy new year.” You both shake hands, probably the weirdest way someone has ever wished you a happy new year.

“Oh come on!” You both turn to see Layla on the other side of the window, the look on her face one of exasperation, and her eyes lock with Marc’s, “if you don’t kiss them now then I will!” Immediately you snap your head back around to look out at London, trying desperately to hide the flustered look you’re sure is showing on your face right now. Sober Layla definitely isn’t that forward.

Just for a second Marc’s accent changes as he starts spitting out apologises on your friend's behalf, "I-no-we don’t have to-" he pauses for a second as if he’s centering himself, takes a deep breath, and talks in his normal voice again. “I think I’m just going to go sober her up a bit.”

“Yeah good idea,” you try to suppress the laugh at Layla’s disagreement to be sober and the way she runs off to hide as Marc tries and fails to catch her arm before she can disappear. He lets out a big sigh before climbing back in the window, leaving you to your own devices for just a second before his head pops back out the window.

“Don’t- uh, don’t leave yet okay?” His face contorts a little like he doesn’t know what to do with it before he gives you an awkward smile.

“Okay,” you chuckle out, immediately pausing when he smacks his head off of the half-open window, "oh-oh my- are you-"

“‘m fine, it’s fine.” He holds onto the back of his head, eyes shut real tight for just a second and he just awkwardly turns away and back around, lifting his hand almost like to wave before dropping it again, "okay I’m just-" he turns and walks away. You move to stick your head through the window into the flat just to make sure he’s okay and you only just hear him mutter, “for fucks sake Steven.” Steven?

You retreat back out of the window and only then do you realise you’re still wearing his jacket. Quickly you peer back into the flat to try to catch him, “Marc-“ your eyes scan across the room, “and you’re gone.” You sigh before moving away from the window again, surely him asking you not to leave meant he wanted to see you again, or something like that, right?

You pull your focus away from your thoughts, instead looking back out at the night sky. It’s rare to see any stars in the London sky but littered around are little white dots accompanying a beautiful half-moon. Maybe this year wouldn’t be so bad after all.

#marc spector x reader #marc spector x you #marc spector fanfic #marc spector fic #marc spector #moon knight x reader #moon knight x you #moon knight fluff #moon knight fanfiction #moon knight fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel fic #marvel fanfic #marc spector fluff #marc spector fanfiction

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hannahssimblr · 6 months

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Chapter Twenty-Eight (Part 2)

Later on in the evening, when the shadows have lengthened and the firepit is ablaze with crackling logs, someone approaches me through the crowd. Tall and handsome with black hair and eyes such a shocking, icy blue, like a husky. It’s Will O’Connor, Shane’s best friend from school. I fancied this boy relentlessly for three whole years.

“Evie Kilbride?” He says to me, as though he’s not completely sure, and I don’t blame him. I’m sure to him I was always Kelly’s weird, lanky friend with a mouth full of braces. I was also too shy to ever actually speak to him, so I’m surprised he ever learned my name at all.

“Yeah.” I say.

“Ah, sorry, I wasn’t sure it was you. You look different to how you did at school.”

“In a good or bad way?” I say without thinking, and he smiles, dimples on his cheeks that I used to have intrusive thoughts about pressing my finger into.

“I dunno.” He says. “How are you getting on? You’re at college, are you?”

I tell him about NCAD, and my internship, murals and illustration while he nods along with genuine interest. “That makes sense,” He says. “I remember how you were good at art.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah you were always drawing up in the stands during our football games.”

“Oh God.” I say, “That’s so embarrassing, I can’t believe you noticed me doing that.”

He laughs. “Ah, well, Kelly told us what you were up to. She said you hated watching us playing so you’d bring something to draw with instead.”

I want to protest and say I didn’t hate it. In fact, I always liked when Will was on the pitch. He was something majestic to behold, and sometimes if we were lucky he’d take his jersey off and whip it around over his head in celebration of scoring a point, but I can’t lie and say that I ever wanted to actually watch the games instead of the boys. I’m more embarrassed that Kelly talked about me to him than by the fact that he knew that football bored me.

He goes on to tell me that he doesn’t really play sports anymore, he just got a job at the local boys school. He’ll be a geography teacher. It seems a startlingly sensible choice for the same boy who threw a science lab skeleton dressed in his uniform off the roof of the P.E hall, but I suppose none of us stay sixteen and reckless forever.

“How’s Kelly getting on with the nursing degree?” He wants to know. “Is she doing placement this year or what?”

“I wouldn’t know.”

“Is she coming tonight, or?”

“I don’t know either. I suppose she’s probably working, maybe she’ll be by a bit later.” I pause. “Like, she and I aren’t close anymore.”

Will seems surprised. “Oh really? But ye were always together, joined at the hip, like. You’d never see one without the other.”

“Yeah, I know, but it didn’t work out in the end.” I chew my lip, resisting the urge to say something in defence of myself so that he knows that she’s the one who ruined it, not me when actually it doesn’t matter at all anymore. None of those things that seemed monumental as teenagers seem to matter one iota. Will plunges his hands in his pockets and rocks back and forth on his heels in the short silence that follows. I suspect I have made it awkward for him somehow, and begin preparing my escape before he says: “You know, she actually told me once that you fancied me.”

I explode with panic as though a nuclear disaster alarm has gone off. “What?”

“Yeah, like…” He laughs self-consciously. “I think it was when I was in fifth year or something. She said that you’d had your eye on me for ages and you were too shy to say anything.”

“Oh Jesus, I’m sorry she said that. That’s really awkward, I’m sure you were really freaked out by it.”

“No, I thought it was cute, to be honest.”

Why he is bringing this up? It’s not often now that I truly wish to be gobbled up by the earth, but this has made me feel so humiliated that my arms curl around myself as though they can protect me from my own horrible feelings. “Ha. Well, you know, I was really young and silly, I hope I didn’t embarrass you by it or like, that nobody else found out and took the piss out of you for it.”

He was going out with this girl from the same athletics club as me for ages, and she used to always tell the same story to everyone about how she’d gone shopping at Abercrombie & Fitch and they’d begged her to work there because she was so good looking. If she’d heard about my feelings she would have ripped me to shreds.

“No, nobody found out.” He says. “I actually do think that you’re very cute. Still, I mean.” The corners of his mouth curve up into a shy smile, and the moment is so alien to me that it takes me several moments to realise that he’s not making fun of me. Will O’Connor is flirting with me. “Oh, thank you.” I manage.

“You’re not going out with anyone at the moment, are you?”

His phrasing bothers me a bit, as if he’s implying I couldn’t possibly have a boyfriend or something, but still I laugh out loud at the absurdity of the whole situation. After all this time. He used to be everything I wanted but now, the things about him that used to make my stomach flip and my legs weak leave me feeling nothing at all. He would have been embarrassed to bump shoulders with me even accidentally back then, and now look at him. I never thought I’d see him vulnerable. “I am.” I say. “I have a boyfriend, sorry.” I glance over his shoulder to Jude, who’s conversing with Shane about something by the firepit. Will follows my eyes and glances over his shoulder. “Oh, him?”

“Yeah.”

He shrugs. “Lucky guy, I suppose.” He gently clinks his bottle against my prosecco glass and nods. “Well, have a good night, Evie. Was nice to run into you again.”

I join Jude and Shane by the fire straight after, and practically dive into my boyfriend, holding on to him and kissing his cheek five times in quick succession while he chuckles and wraps his arms around me. “Are you alright?”

“Yes” I say. “I’m just obsessed with you, I love you so much.”

“Little weirdo.” He grabs me by my cheeks and kisses the top of my head.

Beginning // Prev // Next

#lucky girl part 3

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picaroroboto · 4 months

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by the way, Canto IV posting, I doubt there's really anything I can say that isn't just a restatement of canon but my brain seems to think I can't move on to Canto V without at least jotting some stuff down so here I go.

Yi Sang...all of the Sinners are so interesting and wonderfully written, but Yi Sang's story in particular just evokes such strong sympathy and pity for me. We're shown the times when he was just a guy who loved making stuff with his friends, who loved his friends a lot, then that friend group cataclysmically breaking up, one of his friends basically takes him as a prisoner and later two of his remaining friends try to kill him, and this whole time he's in this state of expressionless sorrow. But it's not that he's not hurt by all of this, and certainly not that he's like, enduring it all with a strong will, but more like he's the sort of person who just drifts by being pushed or pulled by others: he goes along with Gubo after the League collapses because he's in such shock that he would've gone along with whatever anyone told him to do at that moment, after that he follows Sang Yi's suggestion to stop taking the drugs, and from that he encounters Faust and becomes the first Sinner of Limbus Company. Certainly him symbolically "learning to fly" in Canto IV represents the start of changing and making his own choices, though it's not like any sort of major change happens overnight. He's still as expressionless as always because that's just the way he is. The way he's decided that his fellow Sinners are his new friend group is very endearing, though. While they're a ways from how they were randomly killing each other on day one, and still a long long way from anything that might remotely be considered something like a "found family", Yi Sang has decided somewhat randomly and arbitrarily that they're his friends now whether they want to be or not.

I suppose this is a really long-winded rambly way to say that I think Yi Sang is depressed and autistic. This moment in particular really resonated. Like, I don't need any further evidence or argument or counter-argument, this is simply proof:

Just from this idea of Yi Sang looking at others indirectly, only out of the corner of his eyes, you get an almost perfect mental image of like: either the League members or the Sinners goofing off and chattering, and Yi Sang is standing off to the side quietly, not really participating, but watching out of the corner of his eye and smiling ever so slightly. I think this would be the most ideal way to depict Yi Sang but I've probably put the image up on a pedestal too much to draw it myself so you're getting it in prose instead.

#limbus company #yi sang lcb #yi sang limbus company #canto iv #meta posting on my art blog #canto iv spoilers

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changenbirthenstein · 11 months

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Of the Forest

(TF WARNING: Girl into Treefolk)

(Content Warning: Vaginal Tearing)

I was so close to leaving.

I'd lived in DePaign my entire life, seen and dealt with awful people being awful to each other for as long as I can remember. But it was only a few weeks before I graduated collage, and I could leave this crummy, misogynistic cesspool for good. But there was one last thing I had to do. One thing that I had to satiate my curiosity of, that I would never be able to move beyond if I didn't at least explore it.

There were thick, foreboding woods surrounding the town. It was impossible to see very far into them as the trees were packed alongside each other so tightly. One of my friends growing up had walked into those trees off of a dare her brother had given her, and when she came out she was... different. For the rest of the time I knew her, she seemed to be far away, like there was something my friend could hear that nobody else could, constantly distracting her.

The quiet, reserved girl told me one day. Of a grove filled with the most beautiful trees ever. A river along a clearing. Of places where the air seemed to sparkle, a sweet scent heavy on it. She drew me a map of all the most lovely places in the woods, how to get in, how to come back. And then, a week later, she vanished. Nobody ever saw her again.

I know where she went. I hope that, whatever my nature-loving friend found, it made her happy. But I kept that map. I always wanted to go looking for her, but I could never work up the nerve, telling myself I was too young, too frail.

No longer. Now, I was ready to find the girl that had vanished so very long ago, or at the very least see the beauty that had driven her to leave everyone and everything she knew behind.

The sun was just peeking over the treetops as I stood in front of the beginning of the path. It was the place anyone who chose to walk among the trees usually started, well worn, though by my understanding not for very far. Still, it was a good enough place to begin. Part of me was excited at the idea of finding my childhood friend once more, another eager to see all the breathtaking sights I'd had described to me. Filled with confidence, I strode within the brown and green wall.

I walked for some time, consulting my map every few moments. It was surprisingly detailed for a child's drawing, and I'd gone to great lengths to keep it as well preserved as I could. The landmarks were easy to recognize, and I managed to avoid any ground that was too treacherous.

But as I strode through the increasingly dark woods, I began to grow uneasy. I had a strange feeling, as though someone was following me, watching me intently. At times I stopped, and I could swear I heard footsteps for just a moment longer. At others I would hear a rustle of leaves, or the creaking of wood bending. It was concerning, and as I focused more on the stranger that seemed to be following me, I began to check my map less often.

Before I knew it, I was lost. I had no idea when I'd even missed a landmark, but now all the trees looked the same, and nothing shared any resemblance to the things my friend had drawn. I tried to stay calm, continuing to take careful steps, attempting to get my bearings. But as I tried to focus on recovering my path, whatever was stalking me seemed to grow closer.

Finally, I had to stop. Exhausted from walking so long and hungry, I took off my pack and sat on a rock, deciding I would eat before continuing.

The footsteps were so close now. I could hear them just behind me. I was terrified to turn around, I didn't want to see what was there, didn't want to know what they wanted. I only wanted to escape. Some instinct told me that whatever this thing was, it wasn't natural, wasn't human.

I took one deep, steadying breath. Then I stood and turned quickly, gasping as I finally saw the thing that had been following me.

It almost looked like a person. Two arms, two legs. Even wearing tattered clothing. Long, mossy-green hair flowed over the creatures shoulders. A round, heavy-looking orb graced my feminine-appearing stalker, almost as though she was pregnant.

Her skin was rough brown bark, covered with moss in places and with little flowers here and there pushing out. It was like an ent or a tree folk from a fantasy novel, but human sized. And its eyes...

I recognized them. A deep brown, but with that distracted look I'd known so well... the gaze that I was looking for....

The tree person smiled, and slowly walked closer, rubbing her belly. I was frozen, half in fear and half in wonder. This wasn't possible... what had happened to her, how had she changed so much, let alone gotten pregnant like this?!

The forest dweller was right in front of me now. Slowly, she reached out a hand, carefully resting it on my midsection, just above my pubic area. Then, just as tenderly, she began to stroke the area beneath her palm, making me shiver and groan. A heat began to build inside me, subtle at first, but getting more intense by the moment.

There was tension. A feeling of something moving, something going into me, taking root. Something powerful, unimaginable, invasive and controlling. I didn't want it there, and I tried to back away, to run, but my body wouldn't respond. I just quivered, staring into those familiar eyes as this thing finished working its terrible enchantment.

"Ohhh... it... it feels b-bad... what are you d-doing to me? Pleeeaaase... stop don't do this..." I could barely force the words out as the twisting, corrupting sensation coiled deep within my core, feeling like it was getting bigger, stronger as my former friend continued caressing my midriff. A soft smile answered me, but nothing more.

Finally, the pregnant creature released me, and I fell back, gulping in air. Shooting me a wide, friendly grin, the bark-covered humanoid went back to cradling her belly, and walked back into the trees, vanishing from sight within seconds.

I was in no state to stop her, or chase her, or really do much of anything productive. There was something INSIDE me, I could feel it. Something digging into me, feeding off me and growing. And just as much as it was taking from my body, I could feel it pumping something back. Deep in the core of my being, I could feel something within me that wasn't OF me, something that girl had forced into my body... somehow. Some impossible way that I couldn't even begin to comprehend.

Whimpering, I was curled in a tight ball on the forest floor, clutching my aching, throbbing midsection as the thing that the tree person planted in my belly continued its work. It was impossible to move, impossible to focus. I could feel whatever enchantment had been placed on me spreading, moving through my veins, a kind of oozing, dripping corrupting influence. The magic was spreading up through my chest, and down toward my crotch and thighs. It burned, ached, making me gasp and cry out as I fought to rise, to reach out for my bag, anything.

Then, beneath my palms, a new horror made itself known. My eyes flew open wide as, ever so gradually, the area I was holding, the point from which all the rest of this was occurring, began to swell. The tiny bump was hard, my skin felt tight. I realized what it was immediately, but I shook my head, trying to deny it. I couldn't be... There was no way...

My belly continued to push outward, the abnormally warm surface tugging the skin of my hand out, showing that it was in fact growing, that something was filling me from within. Some creature had nestled within my womb, put there by some sorcery I couldn't comprehend.

I finally forced myself onto my knees, every movement sending pain throbbing through my body, everything feeling stiff and uncomfortable. I leaned my back against the rock that I had been sitting on before and looked down, taking in my appearance. Sure enough, the area above my groin was starting to poke out from under my shirt, and making my pants feel too tight. Tears running down my face, I stroked my life-filled womb as the one who had done this to me had, without even thinking about the, the motion somehow soothing even as I felt my form being ravaged by whatever had been done to me.

I had been wearing a t shirt and bra, as well as a loose-fitting pair of shorts with ankle socks and sneakers. As I looked down, I could see dark lines starting to work their way down my legs as my... my pregnancy progressed. It felt awful to think it to myself, that I somehow had been forced into bearing life. That I was going to have to deliver some terrible creature that was even now growing within my uterus.

As I watched, my belly continued to grow, and the dark lines spread. Gradually working their way down my legs, and my arms as the fire in my chest moved continued spreading as well. I even felt the dark magics moving up my throat, across my face, to the very top of my head as my feet began to twitch, cramps racing through them.

I was getting big. I looked well into my second trimester if not my third. I could feel... whatever it was. It was moving, kicking. I was really pregnant, I really was going to have a baby, right here, lost and scared. "Make it stop..." I sobbed, as the pain in my feet and hands mounted. "I don't want this, please... it's not fair!" My words devolved into strained whimpers and growls as my condition progressed. My bellybutton was pulled flat, and then began to be forced into an outie. My shirt was utterly failing to cover any of my fertile swell now, showing the skin that seemed red and irritated, dark lines running along my belly as well as odd lumps showing up here and there as the thing I had forced into me continued moving.

I knew what was coming. If I denied it, everything would just be harder, unimaginably so. Cheeks burning with shame, I fumbled with the button of my shorts, pulling them and my panties down my thighs, my shins, and then off of my ankles. I ended up tugging off one of my shoes, but left the other one on. I was just too sore and overwhelmed to mess with my clothes too much, simply glad that I wouldn't be pushing this... this THING into my underwear.

And I chose to remove my clothes just in time, too. There was a stronger sensation starting to build within me. Tightness. Squeezing. Like a cramp gone crazy. I knew what it was. There's no mistaking it, and it forced a defeated cry from me as my fingers dug into the ground enduring my first contraction.

The second came after only a minute or two to try to get comfortable, and was at least three times as strong as the first. My third contraction left me begging for the pain to stop, and was already seconds after the former. Then, with the next... there was a quiet pop. Something began running down my exposed womanhood, something that might have once been amniotic fluid, but now... it was thick, sticky. It didn't gush from my swollen lips, but rather dribbled out, making me shiver as it coated my sensitive gender, making a warm, disgusting pool. I reached down hesitantly, touching the substance and bringing it before my face. It was a dark green, like the leaves of a tree, and carried a heavy scent.

I flicked my birthing goo off my hands, terrified that such a substance had come from within my body. Everything felt wrong, twisted, like something was fighting my body, trying to make it be something it isn't, was never meant to be. Then, I felt it. The instinctual need that so many mothers-to-be feel. The need to push.

There was no resisting, not with how unnaturally strong this labor was, not with how mentally and emotionally exhausted I was after this nightmarish experience. Opening my legs as wide as I could, I gave in, pushing with the pain, feeling something, whatever had grown within my invaded womb, starting to shove roughly against my cervix, forcing it wider, starting to come through. And, as I pushed, I caught sight of my hands.

They were wrong. The dark lines went all the way to my fingertips, but... there was something else. The tips of my fingers seemed swollen, darker, like they were bulging with something hidden within the skin. I didn't realize how badly my hands were hurting until I caught sight of them, but now it was impossible to ignore.

Once more a contraction raced through me, and I couldn't resist the need to bear down. But, as my eyes watered and the head of my unasked for offspring began to enter my birth canal, I felt something under my skin, something pressing forward, and I saw my fingertips inching forward, pale and straining. Then, as I continued pushing, I saw something pierce my skin, starting to grow from my hands.

It looked like... like little twigs. It was brown, and had a rough texture. And... somehow, it was like I could still feel them. The injuries bleed for a moment, but stopped quickly. Indeed, it appeared as though my skin was just kind of... fusing with the object inching out of my hands, as the brown texture began to gradually eat its way back along my fingers, until all five of them looked like slim branches.

Horrified, I starred as the need to deliver surged through me once more. I pushed, but it seemed like it was effecting more than just the thing that had been placed within my womb. Little leaves sprouted as I pushed, I could feel them breaking the surface of my new fingers, and the bark seemed to spread further back along my hand.

I realized then that my feet were hurting badly too. Panicking, I kicked at one of my ankle socks, trying to get it down.

My right foot was bare, showing a mass of black lines. And, as I struggled once more to give birth, crying out at how intense my labor was, my screams increased in pitch as I watched my toes. They twisted, warped, something was growing out of every part of my foot until finally what was left of my skin just tore apart. There was a mass of roots growing out from what used to be my foot, I could feel them digging into the dirt and starting to absorb nutrients and water, flowing up the dark lines and into my system.

My other foot was no better off, and I let out a defeated whimper as my sock began to squirm and bulge, before it finally was shredded, showing the limb had also become nothing more than a writhing mass of pale shafts. Then, as I continued pushing, I could see the brown texture that had taken over most of my hand eating its way up my leg.

I was changing. Transforming. The girl, the one I thought had to have been my friend... when she'd magically impregnated me, she must have also done this. I was transforming into a tree folk, just like her. And every push, every bit closer I came to delivering this... this THING, was stealing away a little more of my humanity.

I tried to resist. I didn't push with the next contraction, no matter how bad it hurt, gritting my teeth and curling my... my roots, to try not to give in to my feminine instincts. But the head inched down, even without my help, though much more slowly. And as it moved, so too did I see the changes continue. Before long, My arms all the way to the elbow and legs up to the knee were entirely covered with bark, my chest was aching, throbbing, my nipples impossibly sensitive, and I could feel my soft, mercifully unchanged gender bulging with the hard, textured, massive head of the monster I'd been forced to deliver.

I could still move my limbs, could even lift my legs from the ground, the roots pulled up when I wanted to move and settled back in when I stopped. It felt... natural, but wrong. The easiest thing but also clearly not human, not ME. My hands worked just as they did before, gripping the back of my still skin-coated thighs, the feeling harsh on the sensitive flesh as I squeezed and fought to not give in, to not deliver the nightmarish baby that was stealing my humanity.

But I'd been fighting so long. I couldn't resist anymore, and the next contraction was so bad I had to relent, had to do anything to ease the pain.

My bulging womanhood began to part around the head, the bark scratching and cutting my delicate flesh as I screamed. Not just due to the terrible sensation of my unasked for baby emerging from my gender, but a new feeling coming from my right nipple. Bringing my hands up, I tore off my top, leaving me entirely naked on the forest floor, trapped mid transformation and mid delivery.

Eyes watering, I looked down to figure out why there was some terrible pressure coming from within my breast, only to see the entire thing had become a pale green with thick, dark lines going from the tip of my nipple all the way to the base. The pushing sensation was getting worse, and as I once more bore down, something began to happen. My emerald colored boob began to twitch and pulse, bulging and contracting, until at last...

The skin split as I shrieked, the rough, hard head opening me wider, the burning between my legs getting worse. My nipple opened like a flower bud blooming. It opened wider by the moment, my entire breast consumed, parting wide to become a beautiful red flower, releasing a sweet scent that wafted around me. To my horror the other side wasn't far behind, I could feel it struggling to blossom as the next contraction began to build energy.

I fought as long as I could. But the birth still continued, nature would not be denied, and this foul enchantment couldn't be stopped. Howling, I gripped the backs of my knees once more as I bore down, feeling my other breast tearing apart, opening into a stunning crimson blossom leaking a pale substance, probably what was left of my destroyed milksack.

I could feel the bark starting to creep up my thighs as the head of my inhuman child continued to slip forward, even as my tender womanhood throbbed and ached. It was coating most of my body as well, inching up my neck and under my jaw. It was only a matter of time before I was consumed. I realized that I'd never be the same, never be able to leave this place, never be able to see my friends and family again. That the rest of my life would be in this forest, and it was all because of that stupid tree folk and this terrible creature that I'd gestated and was now giving the gift of birth to.

Another screaming push, and I felt my slit pushed to its limits. The head felt so big, and the skin was tight, sore. I knew I needed to stop pushing, but I couldn't. I couldn't resist this magic, couldn't resist my baby. I had to let it change me, use me, consume me utterly and make me into something new. The rough brown grew up my cheeks as I pushed, Along my thighs and over my butt, starting to encroach on my pubic region.

Small shoots began to push out from my fingers and hands, as well as smaller versions of the buds that my beasts had been before they changed. Each one hurt as it grew, and then spiked with pressure as they opened, covering what used to be skin with leaves and bright red flowers.

I was a beautiful, swollen, fertile plant girl. But all I could feel was disgust and sadness as I once more struggled to push this thing I'd never wanted inside me out, alongside the last bits of humanity. The bark began to close in around my wide open womanhood as I cried out, rough thighs trembling under my hands, as I felt myself starting to tear. The sharp skin of my unasked for child combined with its size began to make a small rip down, but it was stopped by the tougher, firmer texture the magic was forcing on me.

I kept pushing, and the last bits of my skin hardened and darkened, more blossoms pushing out of the hard substance that had replaced my flesh as my womanhood twitched, my bizarre offspring sitting at a full crown. Just a bit more and it would be over. Or, at least, the thing I was giving birth to would be out. This... this new life, this new body... I know I'd never escape it, that this was my new reality. It would never be over.

My voice dry and low, my cries barely even sounding human, I threw back my head and shrieked as I bore down, the head emerging from between my legs with a wet sucking sound, a surge of the sticky green fluid oozing from my mutated slit. I kept pushing without rest at the shoulders slipped forward as well. It was coming so fast, I could hear crackling as the twisted flesh of my gender struggled to compensate before there was a loud crack, like a snapped branch.

I was tearing again, the shoulders were breaking my sex apart, they were too wide and hard, and my entire body convulsed as rapid, brittle snapping filled the air as I was ripped open. It was bad, I could feel it, my skin was too stiff down there, not flexible anymore. It couldn't possibly open up enough to pass the body of my baby anymore, so it was just breaking open, the wound becoming deeper, beginning to rupture deep inside.

It was unspeakably painful, as I felt my vagina splitting, the damage reaching all the way down to where my anus used to be, becoming one massive hole as a light green warm fluid ran from the wound. All I could do was push and spasm as I tried to get it over with as quickly as possible.

Then, at long last, it was done. I looked down, and saw what could only be described as a baby tree person. Covered in bark instead of skin, writhing roots instead of feet, and a thick, dark green vine leading back up between my legs. The world spun as I fell back, and I closed my eyes as I tried to deny my new reality, tried not to think about everything I'd lost, all the friends I could never see again...

)----------

It's been the better part of a year now. Life is... strange, here in the forest, with this new body. The tearing never healed, if anything it deepened as the rest of my form finished the more subtle changes that had been forced on me. My belly also never shrank, giving me the appearance of being perpetually pregnant. It is not far off from the truth, in so far as I can tell.

Never again would I deliver a child the way I had before, no longer being capable of it. My womb, my ovaries, everything had been consumed utterly by the needs of my new body. Instead, once every month, a fruit I had never seen as a human grows inside of me. Some of the males will take it from me, after I deliver it, and wander through the woods.

They search for a new place to plant it, where it will grow and bloom, releasing pollen that can inflict a terrible transformation on those that trespass on our territory. Those poor souls merely join the common foliage of the forest, however, becoming bushes and trees themselves, not a forest guardian like me. I actually was for luckier than I at first thought when my long lost friend came and cast her spell on me. I was already infected, you see. I would have left, spent time with friends and family, and then left a map or a cryptic note as the girl I'd been searching for had before subconsciously finding somewhere to take root, enduring a slow and painful transformation into an inanimate plant.

But now... at least I can live. Walk, talk, write, even sing. Though no songs I knew before, no words that I used to speak. There is a new tongue now, one slow and deep, the voice of life and nature.

I miss them. The humans I left behind. But every day, every fruit I deliver, I remember them less. Just impressions of emotions, longing to see them again. But I know that, someday, I will. The pollen spreads, bit by bit. We know, eventually, that the flesh folk will be overwhelmed by the creeping call of our fruit. One by one, they'll come to see us, and join their kin in this forbidden place where no human was meant to walk. They will return to the earth, ceding to the inevitable call of this place

And, no matter how long it takes, we will be waiting for them, with open arms.

#transformation #tf #girl to treefolk #birth #crowning #tearing #rapid pregnancy

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0wl3tt3 · 5 months

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Reflection on my practice (for future me)

Hello, so I wanted to do write what has been my practice so far for future me to read and reflect, I discover a lot for myself, so this might be long so please sit and relax.

Catholicism

I grew up Roman Catholic for most of my life, living and breathing on those values, going to Catholic school and going to church but it doesn't really have an affect for me, I didn't feel connected to Catholicism, so I was semi atheist (I didn't know that Agnostic exist) for most of my early teenage years until I was in grade 10, where I was kinda chilling in class, I wasn't interested with the subject so I just pulled out my phone and thought it would be fun to search on tumblr about witchcraft and it really interested me. Everything about it looked fun and maybe I wanted to dipped my toes in the water. Later on I created an account specifically for that! I enjoyed it as a newbie liking the vibes and looked to find Paganism

Kemeticism

Anyone who followed 15-16 year old me will remember I was a Kemetic pagan, I worshipped Anubis and Ra (Along with Heru-Sa-Aset) but I was close to Anubis, I prayed to him after my dog died which did started my path to paganism where I now just denounce myself silently as a Catholic. I prayed and gave him offerings that I have access to and just let him guide me to cope. I started being open to my practice to my friends as well which they all really support! I never said anything to my family knowing what they believe was that I'm just catholic.

I really do thank Anubis and the gods I did pray for those hardships of my own mistakes and leading me to comfort even when I'm arrogant. It inspired me to admire history more that I ever did, I wanted to read more about old religions, I wanted to just eat every single information I can find tiring to be the best version of what I should do and value.

Hellenism and Athena

I've already told this but I wasn't Kemetic pagan anymore now, I adored Anubis but it felt like my time of mourning had passed and it felt like I might have to part my ways with Kemeticism. Its a beautiful religion and the people there are lovely! but I just don't follow it as a follower anymore and I was called to Hellenism.

I wasn't gonna lie and say Hellenism didn't intimidate me, it did, I knew to never take the myths literally for me to not act dumb but there were a lot of things I had to learn now that I wasn't following Kemeticism. I wasn't sure who to look, well, for a bit until I settled with Athena which makes sense.

Listen, I am a girl that loved the greek monsters, dragons, drawing, and war history, of course I'm gonna pray to Athena!

I felt like she was the goddess for me and later became the kinda the only goddess I prayed for when it comes to tests and being strong. Sometimes I don't do prayers because of school and my own laziness, I'm happy that she's patient with me and a tarot reading by a friend, where I asked "What's Athena thinking about me? I haven't done much for her..." "Talk to me more! and stop procrastinating!"

Is just... I STILL THINK ABOUT IT LIKE OH SWEET GODDESS THANK YOU BUT ALSO DON'T CALL ME OUT😭😭😭😭/j

But I really do thank her for that, it's just so sweet for me to know she is around even when I'm not always acknowledging her.

Now and future

I think one, buy a fucking tarot deck for myself and just talk more, sometimes when no one is around I just talk out of no where to her which I see as my baby steps to coming back since last and the early months I was pretty dry on my worship and practice. This summer I hope I can read history books and just talk about it to her, start doing divination and do something about that rain water from one year ago lmao.

I think this year will be witchy and pagan for me! I'm excited for shenanigans to ensue with my irl witch friends!

And I will say it again, thank you to the deities I worshipped before and now for guiding me to where I am now, no matter how chaotic it is, you're there for me.

So for future me, let's do this!!!!!

#athena deity #lady athena #athena devotee #athena devotion #pagan #paganism #paganblr #witch #witchcraft #witchblr #hellenism #hellenic pagan #hellenic polytheism #hellenic paganism #owl's little witch adventures #erin's pagan diary #owl's stuff

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genericpuff · 2 years

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I hope this is not a bad question to make, I apologize if that's case, but I been meaning to ask something for a while. Since you have experience with stories and projects of your own, I want to ask: How do you organize/plan your stories?

I mean, the whole "timeline" or sequence of events in which the story will unfold. I always heard that you should make something like a doc on your computer where you plan each chapter or episode, for example, and just go point by point. I have also heard people saying you should make a doc with the lore of the world of your story, along with characters profiles, etc. Other people say you can make a timeline with the events of it.

A lot of stuff that always confuses me. Sorry for the long ask, just wanted to hear your advice on this, if it's okay. I been meaning to write stories of my own, but I always get confused on the sea of details and plot points and just wanted to ask for advice on the whole organization or construction of the plot.

This isn't a bad question at all!

So it's pretty much a different answer depending on who you ask, and that's really just because there isn't any one 'right' answer when it comes to this sort of thing. It's just "whatever works for you!" in the end. But here are some suggestions to get you started until you find what works for you:

Simple word processors can help you just type stuff out and keep them all in one document. If you want a free word processor, LibreOffice is pretty standard, but you could also just as well use Notepad if you don't care about formatting or margins or anything fancy. It's just for note-taking, after all!

Always always ALWAYS remember to write down your ideas as they come to you. Look into my fucking eyes, anon. YOU WILL NOT REMEMBER THEM LATER. If you're out and about, open up your phone's notepad file and write them there. Just for god's sakes, don't tell yourself you'll remember them to write down later because 9 times out of 10 it'll completely escape you and you'll be kicking yourself.

As for paid pieces of software that are pretty decent (and I use myself) Plottr is a great way to visualize an actual story timeline as it comes with timeline builders. So if you're a visual person and like laying things out end to end like that, highly recommend. Scrivener is also a great piece of software but I don't suggest paying for it UNTIL you've given it a decent trial run because it's very divisive in the writing community due to its steep learning curve. Thankfully they have a very generous free trial where it only 'counts' the days if you actually use the software (meaning if you have a 30 day trial, it won't count down to 29 if you don't use it that day). So go give it a try! And if you're lost on how to use it, Author Level Up does some GREAT videos on it that helped in making it all 'click' for me when I was still figuring it all out.

When actually writing down your ideas, start simple, and build outwards. Lay out your basic plot progression as a skeleton, and then carve it out with more details as you refine it. What I usually have with my own projects is a general note file, and files for specific scene or character breakdowns. Basically, for the sake of organization, each one serves a specific purpose, with the exception of the general note file which is just where I jot down ideas so I don't lose them (but I can put into a more dedicated file later if need be).

All that aside, when it comes to general documenting/note keeping, only create notes as you need them, don't feel like you 'have' to create what you see other people creating. Some people create full character bios, others don't. Some people draw maps or fully lay out location descriptions, others don't. Focus on function, don't force yourself to follow a perceived 'right way' because there is no right way, the only right way is what works for you and what works for you is different from what works for me or anyone else.

But if you want to see an actual example, here's one of my own with one of my Rekindled documents, which I specifically use for laying out quick notes about what I want to happen in each episode:

And here's an example of a document that's meant to be a more dedicated outline to a specific episode with actual dialogue and plotting:

(as I'm sure y'all can assume, even these notes didn't become the final version of these episodes, there's dialogue from these that got cut in the end because it didn't work as well when I tried to put it in comic form)

I hope that helps! Not to make assumptions on your behalf, but from the sounds of it, it seems like the biggest point of confusion is just different people telling you different things which is making it overwhelming or difficult for you to discern what you should be doing. "Person A told me I should do this, but Person B said this..." and I know I'm just another person in that growing list, but I think the important thing to remember is that you don't have to do what Person A, B, or GP are doing. When this kind of advice is given, it's mostly just for the sake of giving you alternate perspectives on how something can be done, but whether or not you actually DO it that way is completely up to you. Feel free to try these methods, and if they don't work for you, don't worry about it! Take what you've learned and put it into new methods that do work for you. We're all just byproducts of referencing over time, after all! A lot of what I'm telling you is stuff I've learned from practicing myself for years and taking advice for others and putting it together into a new recipe that works for my brain and workflow.

Start with whatever it is you're interested in that you want to write, and just go from there as it comes to you. Don't overwhelm yourself with details right off the bat, let them come to you naturally, and don't rush it! You don't need to have everything figured out right away! Even my Rekindled notes are at least a few months old and I just add more to them as stuff comes to me or when I'm feeling up to chipping away at the episode layouts more. It's a marathon, not a race!

And remember, these notes are for you and only you! (unless you choose to share them like I'm doing rn but these are just visual examples). This isn't the stuff you're gonna be releasing to people, it doesn't need to be perfect or labelled with dividers or given any kind of fancy pants cover letter. These kinds of notes are a conversation between you and yourself. Think of it as one of many first drafts - it's for you to tell yourself the story, so that you can eventually tell it to others once you've refined it through your drafting. It's not show and tell, it's a diary.

If you wanna see what I mean by this (warning: it's gonna really make me look like a nutjob) here are some of my notes for Time Gate which are WAY meaner because Time Gate's a much more complicated story to write:

(and the document this is from is like, literally a decade old, it's called 'time gate shit' and i just throw EVERYTHING into it, it's a nightmare LMAO)

#writing tips #writing advice #ama #ask me anything #anon ask me anything #anon ama

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