#everyone is focusing on her sleeping with steve as if that matters

[share-the-damn-bed]

NANCY WHEELER | favorite quote

[rebeliz7]

AUGUST - PART 3

August 3/3

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader 

…

August, 21th

You walk slowly down the hallway, your eyes firmly locked on the ground and your moving feet. Maybe you’re dreaming, you certainly feel like it. 

You try swallowing down the metaphorical knot tied around your throat, but the action only makes your chest ache and you can’t focus on anything but that, no matter how hard you try. 

It was always going to end like this, you knew it. You always knew it. 

“There she is!” Steve’s voice finally makes you look up, and his face is the first thing you see because he’s coming towards you with a big smile on his lips and open arms. 

“Hey,” you manage to say right before he hugs you against his chest, and you hold onto him for a few long seconds before he pulls back. 

“Were you sleeping? Sorry to wake you.” He’s smiling, and you know everyone else is gathered behind him, but you can’t look - not yet. 

“You couldn’t find a razor in the Middle east?” You ask him, referring to his bushy beard and he laughs, before he wraps an arm around your shoulders and turns back around, dragging you along with him. 

He tells you something about beards and everyone laughs, but you don’t listen to any of it as all the blood in your veins rushes to your ears the moment you see them together. 

And you have no right, you know it. But to see Wanda’s arms wrapped around Natasha from behind, huge smiles planted on both of their faces, makes you feel as if they’ve shot you and they don’t regret it. 

Logically, in this analogy, you know you’ve shot yourself but you can’t help but feel what you feel.

“Told you I’d have his back,” Natasha tells you as she disentagles herself from her wife’s arms, and walks towards you. 

You don’t look up, firmly focusing on her face and her dark hair, since she’s dyed it somewhere along their mission. Steve promptly lets go of you to give her way, and you desperately wish that he hadn’t. 

“Hey, kid.” She hugs you, her voice soft as she wraps her arms around you and despite feeling like she’s taking everything away from you, you hug her too. “God, you’re tense.”

She smiles, her hands rubbing up and down your arms and you feel like you’re going to be sick. 

“Didn’t you tell me you were coming down with something?” Kate is suddenly by your side, throwing an arm around your shoulders and pulling you against her side, and away from Natasha. “I think it might be the flu.”

“Oh, I’ll make you something.” Natasha rubs your arm one last time, and you nod distractedly. 

You’re out of it, it feels as if you’re dreaming and you can’t wake up, no matter how hard you try. 

“Come on, killer. Let’s let Auntie Nattie here cook you a magic potion, huh?”

“She used to be likable. What happened to her?” Natasha complains and Clint laughs, as does Wanda. 

“Clint happened to her,” she says and you finally look up. Her eyes meet yours for a split second, and the emotion unraveling in her hazel eyes almost chokes you up. 

But Kate pulls you around and practically drags you out of the living room and down the hallway leading to the elevator. 

You can still hear laughter while you wait for the elevator to arrive, and Kate hugs you a little tighter, which you appreciate.

The two of you ride the elevator in silence, walk towards your bedroom in silence and when you go straight to your bed, Kate sits beside you in silence. 

…

August, 22th

You don’t remember falling asleep, but the moment you blink yourself awake you realize that you’ve been crying in your sleep. 

Everything hurts. Your chest feels like it might be splitting open, and this pain is so real that you could swear that you’ve hurt your ribs or someone kicked the living hell out of you last night. 

But the reality is that no one touched you, and the pain that’s slowly consuming you is that of your broken heart.

Kate is gone and it’s only a little after five, and you know you won’t be going back to sleep.

To think that only five hours ago you were happy, and now - God! You can’t feel like this, it’s not fair for you to feel like this. You have no right. 

A soft knock on your door makes you look up and before you can think of getting up, Wanda walks inside and quickly shuts the door behind her.

She hesitates the moment the door clicks shut behind her, and she presses her back against it as she looks at you with a pained expression on her face.   

“I’m so sorry,” she says after a beat, shaking her head and then she rushes to your bed—to you.

There’s a moment where you think that this might be a dream, but the way she gets under the covers, her cold hand reaching to cup your face and her lips pressing a hard kiss on your temple, tells you that this is real. 

“I’m so sorry,” she says again, her lips kissing your cheeks and your lips repeatedly. 

She hugs you close and you hug her too, and you finally let yourself cry and she’s there, cleaning your tears away as soon as they begin to fall and kissing you again and again. 

You don’t know how long you cry for, but when you stop Wanda’s arms are still wrapped around you, her lips still pressing soft kisses on your temple. All pretenses are gone, she can’t deny knowing exactly what you feel for her anymore and you don’t know what it’ll happen. 

You’re afraid to speak, knowing that once you do you’ll have to accept whatever comes out of her mouth in response. 

“Let me grab a tissue,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper and she reaches to your nightstand to grab the box of tissues you keep there. 

“Thanks.” You take a tissue and she sets the box behind you, before she takes the tissue from your hands. 

“You’re so beautiful,” she says as she cleans your cheeks, and you know your chin is trembling when she delicately touches it with two of her fingers.

“I feel like a mess,” you tell her and she kisses you, her lips pressing against yours in a soft and familiar kiss that steals your breath away. 

“None of that, you’re beautiful.” She kisses your nose, and although you don’t feel pretty you still try to smile through your pain. 

“Was that our last kiss?” You ask her and she takes a deep breath, and lets the air out slowly. You watch her swallowing hard, her own chin trembling as her eyes turn glassy while she looks at you. 

Your stomach tightens, like it always does when you know you’re about to be sucker punched, and Wanda kisses you again.

This is it, you think, as you return her kiss. This is your last kiss, and you don’t want it to be. 

You kiss for long and excruciating seconds, it might even be a minute but it ends, and she pulls back slightly. 

Her hands are still cold as they cup your face, and her eyes reflect pain the longer she looks at you. It almost seems like a storm is unraveling behind her eyes, and you desperately want to know what she’s thinking. 

What does she see now when she looks at you?

“That was our last kiss,” she says and although you knew she’d confirm that, it still feels like a stray bullet is piercing through your chest. 

“Okay.” Your voice breaks as you nod your head twice, and she takes in another shattering breath. 

“We agreed,” she reminds you, her voice breaking as well and you almost gather the necessary courage to ask what you’ve been wanting to ask her for a few days now. 

“You did listen to my warning.” You point out and a few tears escape her eyes, and as if she can’t help herself, she kisses you hard and you let her. 

She kisses you demandingly, as if there’s a part of her that wants to devour you, take all that she can get from you with one last kiss and you let her. 

The pressing of her body against yours makes you lay on your back, and she follows you in kind, her body sliding on top of you with the liberty that you’ve granted her. 

But this kiss ends too, and when she pulls back you cradle her face in your hands one last time. 

You don’t want it to end, you don’t want this to be the last time that you feel her breath against yours. You don’t want to have to miss the weight of her body on top of yours, and you don’t want to dream about the smell of her shampoo this close. 

“Your order, you mean?” She asks you with a hint of humor, though her eyes keep you prisoner of the emotions swirling in them. 

“I - Wanda, I - ”

The frightening realization that you almost spell those words out for her, has you both freezing on the spot. 

She kisses you again, and you wrap your arms around her as she sneaks her hands under your shirt. You’ve never retorted to tears for any situation you’ve seen yourself involved in, and now crying is all you can think about. 

“I’m so sorry,” she says the moment she pulls back, when you haven’t even opened your eyes again yet. 

“You keep saying that,” you tell her and she kisses your cheeks, holds onto you and presses her forehead on your shoulder, as if she can’t stand the idea of leaving you. 

“Ask me to stay,” she tells you, pulling back and looking into your eyes with a little bit of desperation. 

“What?” 

“Ask me,” she says, almost pleadingly and although you’re confused you still kiss her silly for a few hopeful seconds. 

“August is not over yet,” you tell her, perhaps sounding way more desperate than she just did. 

“August.” The word leaves her parted lips in a sigh, or maybe a prayer. “August isn’t over yet.”

…

You go about your day as normally as you can, and you might not feel happy with the way things seem to be about to unfold, but at least you’re not feeling completely destroyed. You think. 

Natasha meets you in the meeting launch with a cup of a steaming drink, that she tells you to take to help you feel better. You only meet her stare with a sinking feeling in your stomach, while you try hard not to think about what you’re doing and what it means for her, or you. 

There’s a debriefing, not that you’re paying the necessary attention to everything that’s being said. 

You do gather a few points. Natasha apparently discovered some very dark and important state secrets that will secure the team’s freedom for good. She’ll no longer have to answer the Government's shady calls, nor do their dirty work ever again. 

You only notice Rhodey’s presence when he claps his hands twice, before standing up and hugging her tightly. He’s so proud of her, and he’s not afraid of showing it. 

“You did good,” he tells her in earnest and Natasha smiles, but not fully. She’s proud too, you can tell by the way she keeps trying to hold back her smile. 

She’s happy that she’s done this, she’s happy because the White House will no longer call upon her with these less than ideal missions anymore. 

“It was long overdue.” She shrugs, but everyone else takes turns in congratulating her. 

You do your part, of course, as one of her oldests friends you hug her too and congratulate her sincerely. Natasha squishes you, she pats your arms and smiles widely at you, a real smile, a big one and your heart seems to break for a very different reason. 

You know she holds a special place in her heart for you, you know she feels somehow responsible for you and you really do love her and appreciate her, which makes all of this immensely harder for you. 

The realization that you don��t want to lose her friendship hits your full force. If there was anyone who deserved your unwavering loyalty, that someone was Natasha. 

The thought flies out of your mind the moment Wanda’s lips are insistently kissing a path down your neck the second you two find yourselves alone though. 

…

August, 23rd

Daisy is a ball of energy around Natasha, she’s eager to know what’s next for her and to be completely honest, so are you.

It’s clear that Natasha’s grown attached to Daisy, at least it’s clear to you, you’re not sure if it is for the rest of the team. She’s never been an S.O. before, and taking over Daisy’s training was a personal favor to Fury more than anything. 

“Hey, rookie. Warm up, I’ll be right back.” Natasha calls out, and Daisy gives her a thumbs up without being able to suppress the grin on her face. 

“You gotta show me those tapes,” Natasha tells you next and you nod, before the two of you begin to walk to your office. 

She’s heard about the simulation you ran since the night she came back, and you know she’s about to give Daisy a small mission, maybe as soon as today or tomorrow. 

“What do you think?” She asks you conversationally as you walk through the main reception area. You don’t need her to elaborate, and although you wish you could still see her in the eye, you pretend to check your phone as you answer. 

You can’t look at her face, not without wanting to blurt it all out. 

It should be easy, you tell yourself. It should be easy to keep this secret from her or anyone for that matter. You’re a trained spy, one of the best, and holding secrets is your specialty. It turns out that you’re still learning though. 

“I think starting her off with a low risk mission is the next step to go. You know how it goes from there.” 

Your voice carries out and the lull silence that follows it tells you that she notices how hard you’re trying, not that she knows exactly what you’re hiding, at least you hope she doesn’t know. 

Which reminds you, you still haven’t talked to Kate and each time you're with Wanda, talking is the last thing you two do. 

“You think she’s ready?” She asks as you walk inside your office and you open your laptop, her voice gives nothing away. 

You remind yourself that she’s never been an S.O. before, and if she’s asking you this then she wants an honest answer. 

You’re her friend. Before you knew anyone else in this team, in this country, before you even knew that Wanda existed, Natasha was your friend and the person who ultimately gave you a second chance. 

You owe her.  

The guilt settles in your stomach heavily, it feels as if your insides are getting tangled up inside you and it makes you slightly nauseous. 

“You think she has what it takes?” She asks you, as you bring up the video of the simulation on your computer, and you finally turn to look at her fully. 

“She’s special, Nat.” You nod, and a small proud grin appears on her lips. “She could very well one day lead this team. But you already knew that, didn’t you?”

“She’s got heart,” she says as you both sit in front of your desk. 

“She’s got heart.” You agree, and you press play. 

The video is just starting when your phone vibrates with a new text message, and the second you see Wanda’s name on your screen you almost panic. 

Meet me in your car. Is all it says, and you’re on your feet before you can even think of an excuse to tell Nat.

“I’ll be right back,” is all you say before you rush out of your own office. 

You make it to your car in record time and Wanda’s lips are on yours in an instant. You kiss her back, you hold onto her and when she pulls you onto her lap, you willingly straddle her.

“God, I’ve missed you.” She combs your hair back, a pretty smile on her lips as she smiles up at you. 

Watching into her eyes, you can see nothing but sincerity. She’s happy to see you, her hands are touching every inch of you that she can reach and the guilt that was threatening to swallow you whole just a few minutes ago, is gone for now. 

“Nat is taking Daisy on a mission tonight,” she tells you, confirming what you suspected . “Clint and Kate are going too.”

“It doesn’t sound like a small mission if they’re all going,” you tell her and she kisses your lips softly, her eyes still shining with mirth as she presses her lips against yours. 

“They’re just retrieving a hard drive. It looks like Kate’s contact came through. But you know Nat, she won’t take any chances this early on with Daisy.”

You do know Nat, and in the blink of an eye the guilt returns. This is wrong, and you know it.

It’s wrong to be with her wife like this, to have been with her wife like this. 

It’s wrong, and you care. You do care. 

“You talked to Kate?” You finally ask her and she nods her head, her hand still on your hair while the other one squeezes your waist slightly under your shirt. 

“She won’t say anything.” She assures you, her eyes shining with something else that you can’t fully read, as she stares up at you. 

“How can you be sure? If she mentions anything to Clint - ”

“She won’t.” She cuts you off and the sound of her voice tips you off. What swirls in her eyes it’s something you haven’t seen before, sadness maybe. 

“You’re okay?” You ask her, as you cup her face in your hands. She turns and kisses the palm of your hand, and then your wrist and the action makes your chest ache. You still think that she might lo - she might have feelings for you.  

“I’m okay.” She says softly, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’m okay.” She repeats as she wraps her arms around your waist and hides her face in your neck, breathing you in. 

You hug her too, pressing yourself closer and when minutes begin to pass by, you realize that you’re content. What more could you ever want? With her by your side, with her acting like this, you’d never need anything more. 

And yet, now that every single thing seems to have fallen in place again, you know that you can’t have her, not for good. 

God, you should have never agreed to this. You should have kept your distance. You should have respected Natasha the slightest bit. 

“Can I come over tonight?” She asks, lifting her head with unsure eyes, as if you could ever say no to her and completely oblivious to the storm unraveling inside your head. 

You should say no, even though you don’t want to, you should. 

“Of course.” You nod, although you still feel like there’s something that she’s not telling you. 

Maybe she’s going to break this up sooner than you thought she would. God knows you don’t have the strength to do it yourself, so she needs to.

…

August, 24th

It’s past midnight when Wanda slips inside your room quietly. She must think you’re asleep because you watch as she leans heavily against your closed door, her face the picture of anguish but she takes a deep breath, unwilling to cry. 

Your stomach drops at the sight, and you feel a pang in your chest. 

She’s gonna end this. She’s gonna tell you that she can’t see you anymore, and you’ll accept it because you know this has to end.

“Wan?” You call out, nervous and afraid despite everything. 

She takes a moment to take one last deep breath, and then she walks over to your bed with a wide smile that you know is not genuine. 

“Baby, I’m sorry.” She says as she takes off her long sweater, leaving her in only a tank and sleeping shorts. “I know it’s late.”

“It’s okay,” you tell her. She gets under the covers as you turn around to face her. That sadness you saw on her face in the parking lot is still there, now more prominent than before. 

A part of you knows that she’s hiding something from you, and you’re not sure you want to find out what that is. 

“I want to hold you,” she says and you feel something snap, you can’t take it anymore. 

“Why do you sound like that?” You ask her and she frowns. 

“Like what?”

“Like you already regret whatever you came here to do.”

She’s immobile for a moment, her eyes just taking you in as she ponders on her answer. When she finally moves, she presses herself close to you, to the point where your chests are touching and her hand is pressing on your hip. 

“I don’t regret being here with you.” She speaks slowly and tenderly, as if the mere act of talking is hurting her. 

If there’s a knot around her throat then you know the feeling well. But she’s fighting against the need to cry, and you can see that clearly too. 

Maybe she’s feeling the same way you are, maybe guilt is also about to swallow her whole. You know what the right thing to do is here. You know. 

“Then what is it?” You ask her.

“I want us,” she says and you stop breathing. “I want you, all the time. You’re in my mind all the time, and I want you.”

She might not be here to end this after all, and you don’t know how to react to what she’s saying. 

“Wanda, I - ”

“Is this what you feel for me?” Her voice breaks, her hand pulling you impossibly closer to her own body. She knows the answer to that question. “I don’t regret you. It’s just - it pains me to have to wait to see you, to touch you, to kiss you.”

She presses her lips against yours harshly, as if desperate to kiss you and you wrap her in your arms in response, kissing her back. 

She’s still the love of your life, you bitterly realize. 

“I want you,” she fiercely tells you, the torment in her eyes no longer easy to hide as she looks at you. “I want us.”

“But I’m yours already.” You tell her easily, knowing well that you’ve never spoken truer words before. 

You caress her cheeks with your thumbs, holding her close. She knew this from the beginning, you never hid the fact that you’re in love with her and although a part of you is elated to know that she does feel something for you, you’re also very much aware of how much she’s hurting because of the same reason. 

She looks like she’s about to burst into tears, but she doesn’t cry and she doesn’t speak again either and when she reaches down between your legs, her hand slipping past your sleeping shorts and panties, you don’t stop her. 

Gasping against her mouth, you hold onto her as she enters you with her fingers, fast and a little roughly, and you allow it because you can tell how much she needs this. She has a lot to think about but right now, she needs the distraction and you understand that.  

When you cum, she doesn’t stop and your strangled cries seem to only fuel her need to feel you closer. She takes off her clothes in a rush before helping you out of yours, just as fast, just as desperate. She’s rough in a way that speaks loudly to you. 

She’s not trying to mark you, or to claim you. No, she’s trying to find the answers to this predicament in your body, in your skin, in your scent and the way you gasp out her name each time that she makes you cum. 

You want to touch her, but she pins your hands above your head the second you try it, a silent command in her eyes as she lowers herself between your legs one more time. 

…

When you open your eyes, you realize that you must have passed out. Not that you can be blamed for it… you have no idea how many times you came and Wanda was - Wanda was insatiable. 

“You okay?” She asks you, and with a start you notice that she’s hugging you from behind, and she probably hasn’t slept at all. The small clock on your nightstand points at five thirty, and a heavy weight settles on your chest all over again.

You feel guilty to be here, so guilty that you can’t be fully present even.    

“Yeah, I’m okay.” You reach for her hand, resting comfortably on your belly, and intertwine your fingers through hers. Your bodies twisted in the bedsheets tell the story of a passionate and slightly wild night and you love it to an extent, but it also scares you. 

You love everything about last night, about her words, about her actions. You want her too, you want everything with her and yet, you still know that this is wrong and you both need to put an end to it. 

“Wanda, I - ”

“Please.” She presses her cheek against yours, cutting you off and moving fast, as if she knows exactly what you’re about to say. “Please, baby. Give me a little bit of time, please.”

Knowing that she doesn’t want to talk confuses you, no matter how hard you try to put yourself in her shoes. You want to understand, and you do to an extent but to you the answer is simple. You’d never doubt when it comes to her, you’d choose her in this lifetime and every other lifetime because she’s the only person you’ve ever loved like this. 

But she’s not free to choose, choosing her right now will mean hurting someone who’s friendship you value. Choosing her will mean hurting her, and Natasha. 

She was already in love when you started this, she was never yours, not completely. 

The pain she must be feeling, the thought of it is enough to devastate you. You never wanted to hurt her in any way, you never wanted her to experience pain like that because you knew how agonizing it was. 

“You meant it?” You still ask and she hugs you closer, pressing her front to your back with relatively more force than necessary, as if she were afraid to lose you. 

“Baby,” she whispers, the pet name falling from her lips pleadingly. “I don’t know what to do.”

Her voice breaks and you panic, but when you try to turn around she doesn’t let you, keeping you where you are as she takes deep breaths. 

“Please,” she begs again and your heart breaks for her. “Please.”

“You love me,” you speak, without being able to hold it back any longer. You didn’t want to say it out loud, afraid that she’d deny it but that’s no longer an option, is it? And she can’t expect you to say nothing when it’s obvious that this, what you two have together, has stopped being fun. 

“Please.” She begs again, her voice sounding more broken and you think she’s crying now.

“Do you?” You ask her softly and she takes a deep breath, her body shaking against yours as she does. 

Just when you start to believe that she won’t give you an answer, she pushes lightly on your shoulder for you to lay on your back, her hand still holding yours and her red, raw eyes now looking down at you as she hovers over you. 

She’s been crying, and she’s in pain, which is the last thing you ever wanted. The last thing. 

She’s beautiful, even when her hair is this much of a mess and her eyes looking swollen. She’s beautiful and you don’t want to lose her, ever…

...and maybe you already have. 

“I do.” She speaks the words so softly, a whisper that seems to break her and sew her back together again. “I love you.” She’s frowning, her eyes firmly locking you in.

“Wanda.” She reaches out to wipe away your tears, tears that you didn’t even know were shedding.  

She’s just told you everything you wanted to hear, and that only makes your resolve clearer.

“You’re so beautiful,” she says as her face twists in pain and without a second thought you wrap your arms around her, just as she begins to cry. 

Hiding her face in your neck, she cries for nearly fifteen minutes without stopping and clinging so hard to you that you almost feel suffocated by the intensity of it all. 

She loves you, and you know what to do.

…

August, 25th

She’s gone when you wake up. 

You tried to stay up when she stopped crying, but you were so tired and your mind was quiet, knowing well what you’ll have to do to make things right. 

The heavy weight of your actions and their consequences seem to settle in the pit of your stomach, and you know the uncomfortable feeling of it won’t leave you alone anytime soon. 

So much for your analogy of don’t dwell on things that already happened, and that you can’t control. This guilt is eating you alive and you can’t get past it.  

This love-this all consuming love you feel for Wanda is unprecedented, but it’s making you see things as you’ve never seen them before. After what you’ve heard about love, as one does more often than not, you expected it to somehow blind you, to make you lose control of yourself. 

In a way you guess it did that, but it also has you thinking that as infinite as love truly feels like, it’s also very limited. 

There’s so much you’d do for Wanda, to keep her with you and to make her happy, to make her want you. You can’t imagine yourself saying no to any of her requests, but there are things that you’re not willing to do, there are things that you’re not willing to change about yourself and that’s something that you’ve just discovered as well. 

You won’t be this person, you won’t stay and be the one who broke off a marriage, who caused so much pain. You can’t.

The minutes seem to drag on and the day becomes the longest of your life. You don’t look for Wanda, and she doesn’t look for you either.  

…

August, 26th

The team arrives early in the morning, all smiles and proud grins in all of their faces. Daisy’s a natural, but you knew that already. 

It is with a pang of melancholy that you congratulate her and welcome her on the team. You can’t think of a better person to fill in your absence. She’ll keep Tony on his toes, and Natasha will still have someone to look after in this place. You know she needs it to ground herself. 

“Everything okay?” Steve asks you, effectively preventing you from looking over at Wanda when she joins everyone in the hanger. 

“I think the sun is setting, Stevie.” 

He sighs heavily, a protest dies in his tongue and his shoulders tense at the same time. He’s still the most expressive guy, even after all your effort in trying to make a spy out of him. 

A very long time ago, when you were still apprehensive of this team and this place, he made you promise that you wouldn’t run, not that you were planning on it but he needed you to commit to the Avengers fully, and he needed to hear you say it.

So you did, you promised and he promised to understand when your time was up in return. 

“You sure?” He asks you and when you kiss his cheek in response, he smiles sadly while nodding his head. “Of course you are.”

…

She finds you in the locker room, and she’s not happy to have been ignored for the last few hours. You turned off your phone for a reason, and a reason alone. 

“I tell you I love you, and that’s code for you to ignore all my texts?” She asks, and your stomach drops. 

You want, and you want. 

You just came to pick up your clothes, but the moment you look at her, a tidal wave of emotion washes over you completely. 

“I love you too, you know?” You tell her softly, somehow feeling defeated and that is not how it should have gone. The first time you exchanged these words should have been in a completely different setting, under very different circumstances. “But you already knew that.”

“You don’t think that’s a good thing? Us, loving each other?” Tears are quick to gather in her eyes as she asks you this question, and despite wanting nothing more than to give her the answer she’s looking for, that weight in the pit of your stomach reminds you of what’s right. 

“It could have been.” You nod, trying hard to swallow the knot around your throat. “It could have been the best thing.”

“I-I don’t know-” she sighs, the tears gathered in her eyes roll down her cheeks and you want to take away all that pain from her. You never wanted this, you never wanted to see her hurting. 

“You don’t know what to do.” You finish for her, and she takes in a deep breath, trying to collect herself. 

You always knew, and she told you from the very beginning that she plans to stay married, but that doesn’t change how it affects you. She’s already chosen, that’s why it hurts like it does.  

“I know I love you,” she says, her voice sounding much more confident that she looks and you smile, however small. 

Yes, you think to yourself, you did want her to love you. But ultimately August was never meant to turn into this, naively you believed you’d make memories that could carry you through the rest of your life. You wanted to know, you wanted to feel, you wanted to experience her but you never wanted to hurt her. 

“I love you too,” you tell her as you close the distance and finally reach out to touch her. She’s tense, the hands resting on her hips are slightly shaking, she’s scared. 

“I love you so, so much.” You take her hands and pull until she gives in and lets you hug her, and she hugs you back. 

“What am I gonna do?” She asks after a beat and you close your eyes, willing your brain to remember what it feels like to be in her arms. 

You always knew. You always knew you’d be the one who’d end up losing. You knew. 

“I love you, Wanda.” You tell her and she pulls back, a frown on her face as she stares at you. It must be something in the sound of your voice that tips her off. 

“I don’t want to lose you,” she fiercely tells you. 

“I don’t want to lose you either.” You cup her face, and you notice how hard she's gripping your shirt, she’s still trembling. “But I’m not gonna stay here just to be your mistress.”

Her eyes show nothing but uncertainty now, her grip on your shirt somehow tightens and you know what she’s gonna say even before she does. 

“Stay here?” She asks, suspicion lacing her tone and the frown on her face now more prominent, her accent thicker. “You’re not leaving.”

“Is that an order?” You ask her with humor, despite being uncalled for and her frown somehow deepens. 

“You’re not leaving.” She shakes her head, her voice stronger and you smile, although the heartbreak you feel might be making it seem more like a grimace. 

“This was never supposed to turn out this way,” you tell her and she shakes her head. “You weren’t allowed to fall in love with me, remember?”

“You can’t leave. You can’t. You can’t leave me.” Tears are still rolling down her face, now faster than before. 

“You’re hurting, and that was never part of our deal. August was never supposed to make you feel this way.”

“August,” she whispers the word as if it was cursed. You’re starting to see it that way too, so you wouldn’t exactly fault her for it. 

“August.”

It doesn’t surprise you when she kisses you, no matter how demanding and desperate the kiss feels. You’d do anything, you think, to stay here with her and forget about the world outside of these four walls.

“You can’t leave,” she tells you, the moment she pulls back, and there’s something different in the way she says it this time around. 

“You’re gonna stop me?” You challenge her, but as soon as that wave of bravado comes, it’s gone and you deflate almost instantly. 

If you’d been more careful you would have caught the look on her face as she pondered your words, but the moment passes quickly and you take a step back from her embrace, and you try to center yourself again. 

“I’m not gonna be this person, Wanda. I’m not gonna be the person that ruins someone’s marriage, I’m not-”

“You’re not ruining anything.” She cuts you off. “I’m not getting a divorce, I’m not-”

“Exactly.” You interrupt her too, her words, like daggers to your heart, give you the necessary push. “There’s a bigger picture here, Wanda. You told me that this is more than just a team, and I get it.”

“We’re not talking about the team right now.”

“We are, whatever happens here-”

“Nothing has to happen. Nothing has to change.” She tries to cut you off again.

“I’m not gonna be your dirty little secret forever!” Your voice echoes in the otherwise empty locker room, and she looks away, at a loss of words. 

You have no right, you always knew. You always knew what this was. God! 

“I know you’re not getting a divorce, I don’t want you to.”

“You’re not a dirty secret,” she tells you and when she takes your hands, you seem to breathe a little easier. Her hands are cold, which is a reminder that even though everything changes, also everything stays the same. 

“Tony knows,” you blurt out as an afterthought, which is absurd because you should have told her a lot sooner. 

“He does?” Wanda asks, worry suddenly swimming in her eyes, clear for you to see.

“Yes, I don’t know why I didn’t tell you sooner. I should have.”

“I’ll talk to him.” She assures you, her hands squeezing yours lightly. 

Looking into her eyes you can almost breathe in her anxiousness, her slight panic, her confusion and above all, her pain. But there’s something more there too, a quiet and dangerous determination that you’ve seen before, but you don’t know what to make of it. 

“What are you thinking?” She asks you softly, her hand reaching out to cup your face, as if things were still the same. 

“I’m leaving, Wanda.” You tell her, and she shakes her head. 

“No, you can’t just leave.”

“I can, and I will.” 

“No, you can’t.” The red mist of her powers swirls in her eyes threateningly, and you flinch back instinctively. Despite having been as close as you’ve been to her for the past month, you’ve never seen her powers this up close, not like this. 

“I’m sorry.” She apologizes quickly, her hands holding you close. 

“It’s-it’s okay.” 

Your heart is beating fast, even after she jumps back when the door bursts open and Steve walks inside, Bucky following close behind. 

“Hey, Wanda.” Steve smiles as Bucky takes off his shirt, and you try to get your heart rate back to normal. “Natasha’s looking for you.” 

“Thanks. I’ll go find her.” Wanda answers absentmindedly, her eyes still trained on you. “Don’t do anything until we talk. Please?”

You can see her trying to keep her tone casual, although the look in her eyes betrays her. The way she spoke about Kate not saying anything suddenly strikes you differently. You know what she’s capable of, the possibility that she actually made Kate forget she ever saw anything is there. 

“Okay.” You agree quickly, and although she takes a moment to leave, she still does. 

…

The rest of the day goes by in a blur of uncertainty for you, but however curious you grow about what you think might be happening, you refuse to call or try to contact Wanda.

She doesn’t contact you either. 

…

August, 27th

You wake up to the sound of the alarms blazing, and red lights flashing around your bedroom. Friday is repeating a warning message, and you slide off your bed with the utmost care, picking up the gun you keep under your mattress on your way. 

Pressing your back against the side of your bed, you try to make contact through your phone but the signal is down and there’s no wifi connection. Friday is still repeating the same message, over and over again, which means that whoever is doing this knows what they’re doing a little bit too well. 

You��re about to make for your door when it opens from the outside with a hard shove. 

“It’s me!” Wanda shouts when you raise your gun, your finger about to pull the trigger and you let out a hard sigh.

“What is going on?” You ask her, standing up and walking quickly towards your closet. “I almost shot you.”

“Friday is down, Tony is freaking out and we can’t reach Fury, or anyone outside of this place for that matter.”

You dress quickly, changing into one of your tactical uniforms that you keep in your room for emergencies, and load yourself with a few rounds of bullets and two more guns.

“There’s no wifi connection,” you tell her as you pick up your hair and then secure two hand knives onto your boots. 

“I know, come on.” She says, and before you can make for the door she grabs your hand, and you finally take a long and hard look at her. 

She’s still wearing the same clothes she was wearing before, when you were talking in the gym, and her eyes look red and a little swollen. She looks disheveled, as if she hasn’t slept in days and you’re only barely noticing. 

“Where’s everyone else?” You ask her, as you take in her appearance, but she doesn’t answer, instead she pulls you closer until her lips are crushing against yours and you have no other option but to kiss her back. 

Frowning, you kiss her quietly and wantonly, even under the circumstances you’re under, you can still feel yourself weaken under her spell. 

You don’t want this to be over, you don’t want to have to miss her, you don’t want to have to dream about kissing her and miss the way her lips once felt against yours. 

But you know what the right thing to do is. 

You have to leave, and you have to do it soon. 

Her hand is gripping your hair and her lips bruisingly pressing against yours, when the earpiece you’re wearing crackles to life and Tony’s voice comes through. 

“I have control again. Is everyone alright?” He asks, and you pull back. 

Cupping her face, you quickly wipe away a tear that’s slowly making its way down her pale cheek. 

“You’re not leaving,” she tells you and you feel your heart breaking. 

“I have to.” You argue, and her chin trembles as tears begin to roll down her face faster. 

“You don’t.” She shakes her head, her hand still gripping your hair and keeping you close. 

You hear a shot being fired, and Tony’s loud voice comes through. You have to move, but somehow you find yourself rooted to the spot. 

“Wanda.” You sigh and she shakes her head again, refusing to see your point. 

“You’re not leaving,” she says and you see her eyes shining red, and a wave of panic hits you unexpectedly.

“Tony?” You ask her and she grabs your waist with her free hand, pulling herself that much closer to you, until she’s pressing her forehead against yours, her other hand still buried in your hair. 

“He won’t say anything,” she assures you with morbid confidence. 

“What did you do?” You finally ask her, fear lacing your tone, fear that’s quick to spread to every inch of your body. 

“August was supposed to be ours,” she says and you grip her wrists as you try to look into her eyes. 

“It is. It has been.” Your words don’t seem to register to her, and she lets out a sob that breaks you completely. 

“August was supposed to be ours.” She repeats, as if she didn’t hear you in the first place. 

“Wanda, what did you do?” Your voice breaks, and she finally looks at you. 

There’s an explosion somewhere close, you can hear the team’s voices in your ear shouting, fighting and grunting in pain. Everyone else is battling an enemy somewhere close and you can’t look away from Wanda’s crazed look in her eyes. 

“You’re not leaving,” she says again. “I’d rather you stay-”

“Wanda.” You plead, not knowing what’s happening completely. 

“-even if you don’t remember us.”

“Wanda, no.” You try to pull back from her hold, but her grip is iron tight. 

“I’ll remember for us both.” She assures you, as you become terrified. “I’ll remember for us both.”

She cries, her eyes glow red and she kisses you one last time, however short and bitter.

…

August, 28th

…

August, 29th

You wake up in a Hospital room, alone and confused. 

Your head hurts, and your throat is sandpaper dry. 

You have no idea how or why you’re in this bed. 

“Hey, you’re finally awake.” Natasha enters your room, and when you try to speak and fail, she rushes to pour some water in a cup for you. 

She helps you sit up a little bit, and holds the cup to your lips for you to drink. 

“There you go.” She puts the cup aside as you lay down again. 

“What-what happened?” You ask her, and she sits on the edge of your bed before taking your hand in hers. 

“The Compound was attacked. We found you unconscious in your room. You were probably standing too close to one of the bombs that went off.”

You have no recollection of a fight, and the more you try to remember what happened, your headache gets worse. Natasha’s forehead is patched up, and she’s sporting a nasty large bruise on her collarbone and neck, all signs of a battle that you have no recollection of. 

“The team?” You ask her, worrisome creeping up on you and she squeezes your hand lightly. 

“Clint was shot, and Tony took a hit. He’s being watched, Bruce says he’ll be alright.”

“Bruce is here?” You ask her, as you struggle to swallow, which she immediately notices. 

“Here,” she says as she gives you more water to drink. You thank her, and she takes your hand in hers one more time. “You feeling alright?”

“Confused more than anything.” You admit, a frown taking over your expression. “I can’t remember the attack, or what was happening before.”

“It was the middle of the night,” she tells you calmly. “You were probably asleep, we all were. Wanda left to find you, but she never made it to your bedroom.”

Wanda. You think you’d remember if she was ever in your room.

“I must have hit my head pretty hard, huh?” Natasha smiles, however sadly and you realize that she must have been worried. She’s always felt somewhat responsible for you, ever since you joined the team. 

“I’m glad you’re okay,” she says. “You had us worried for a bit there.”

You’re about to say something when Wanda walks inside the room, and if you believed in cliches, you’d think that she just stole your breath away. As it is though, you look away, barely catching her eyes in greeting. 

She’s dangerous to look at, you’ve learnt. 

“You’re feeling okay?” She asks, and the anxiousness in her tone catches you by surprise. “Is she okay?”

“She’s fine,” Natasha says. “Just a bit confused, as was to be expected.”

Wanda rushes, or you think that she does, to the side of your bed, her eyes glancing at every inch of your face. Which confuses you even more, the way she’s behaving, since you two have never been that close and you actively try to avoid spending too much time around her--for reasons. 

“You’re okay?” She asks you, her hand reaching out as if to touch your face, but she pulls back at the last second. 

“Yeah.” You try to nod, and her eyes frantically search for something in your face. “Are you?”

“I’m fine,” she says quickly, too quickly for it to be genuine. “I’m fine.”

You learn about a new terrorist group, hellbent on eliminating the Avengers and every other heroic initiative around the globe, claiming freedom, true freedom, whatever that means.

Natasha has to tell you about a mission she and Steve apparently left on for most of August, not that you can recall it. 

The Doctors, and Bruce have to go over several tests with you. They do an MRI and they keep you in observation, trying to figure out how you might have forgotten an entire month, but none of them can explain it.

Wanda stays when Natasha is needed in the Compound, and she keeps a close eye on you, nervously pacing each room you’re taken to and paying close attention to each interaction you have.  

“It’s a bit weird, isn’t it?” Kate asks you conversationally when she comes by to visit. Her left hand is patched up, after apparently she stopped someone from stabbing her with her bare hands. 

“August is just a month.” You shrug, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. You hit your head and you forgot a few weeks of your life, but overall, you’re okay and you can always make new memories. 

“August was important,” Wanda says from the couch where she’s been sitting inside your room. Her voice trembles, and you catch it with yet another wave of confusion washing over you. “August meant something.”

“There’s nothing I can do now though,” you tell her and just when you catch her eyes, she looks away in a rush. 

You try not to look at her for long, you make a point of not being close to her, or try to understand what exactly each tone of her voice means. This crush you harbor for Natasha’s wife is dangerous, and you know it. 

“I guess not,” she says, her voice uncarestalistaclly soft. It almost sounds as if she’s one step away from falling into the abyss, and you don’t understand why. 

“You okay?” You ask her again, and she swallows with obvious difficulty before she nods her head. 

“I’m fine,” she says one more time. “They attacked our home, and it just-it scared me, that's all.” 

…

August, 30th

The hardest part about being the only one who remembers something, is the constant need to talk about it and knowing that she can’t. 

Wanda drives you back home with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She drives your car, the same car you used countless times to drive her away and kiss her silly. 

You sit in the passenger seat, looking outside the window and avoiding looking at her, all things you used to do before August tenth.

She continuously tries to swallow down the knot around her throat, but she’s aware that the damn knot is there to stay. No matter what she does now, she can never take back what she’s done. She can never undo what she did. 

“You feeling better?” She asks you, and you nod your head. She knows nothing is wrong with you, physically at least, but she can’t help but ask. 

“Yeah. I’m okay. Kinda curious about August, but no more than that.” You admit, and she clears her throat subtly, if only to keep her tears at bay. 

It seems like your logic about not being able to change the past is back in full force too. 

“You spent most of the time with Daisy,” she tells you and that spikes your interest, you turn to look at her fully, while she continues to drive. 

“That’s Natasha’s rookie, right?” 

“Nat asked you to keep an eye on her while she was away.”

“Did I torture her? Did I make her want to drop the towel? I’m not sure if I’m a good teacher to be honest.” 

She smiles, appreciating your usual sense of humor, while a wave of nostalgia curses through her entire body. She misses you. 

She misses you so devastatingly hard, and you don’t know because she made sure that you don’t. 

Wanting to scream, she grips the wheel with both hands and grits her teeth instead. 

“You’re a good teacher,” she says, her voice breaking as she speaks and she sees you catching it, but you’ve gone back to being the person you were before august. 

“Why, thank you.” You grin, but you also look away. You look away because you were always respectful, you always kept your distance and you would have never crossed any line if she hadn’t asked you to. 

…

August 31st

She doesn’t sleep, she can’t, and Natasha notices. 

“I’m fine. Everything’s fine.” She says again and again, when Natasha gives her that look that means she knows something, but won’t say anything until Wanda is ready to talk.

Wanda might never be ready to admit to another living soul of what she’s done in August. 

She tracks you down without even noticing. She makes a point of starting lunch when you’re in the kitchen, just so she can see you for a couple of minutes. Because that’s all she gets now, just a couple of minutes that aren’t really hers to have. 

She doesn’t eat, she's not hungry. 

“I’m okay. I’ll have something later.” She tells her wife when Natasha notices. 

Natasha doesn’t push, she’s not that kind of person.

Wanda tracks you down to the gym, where you’re sitting on the mats, trading jokes with Daisy and Kate, and a new wave of guilt threatens to break her. 

Flicking Clint’s memory wasn’t that hard, she barely wished for it and the next moment all the suspicion he was harvouring for you vanished. Making Kate forget was a little harder, however young, Kate’s always been the one with the strongest will among the lot of you.

You never knew, although she’s certain that you were close to figuring it out. 

She never wanted August to end like this, but the thought of you leaving for good made her panic. She’d rather carry the story of you in her mind, all by herself, than never see you again. 

You won’t remember, but she will for the both of you. 

After all, August was always meant to be hers and hers alone. 

...

[luxeberries]

now on ao3

One day, in mid August of ‘85, Dustin shows up at Steve’s front door, completely unannounced. It’s the middle of the night and Steve has half the mind to reprimand Dustin about curfew and biking alone in the dark. But when his vision finally focuses on Dustin’s expression, Steve sees panic in his eyes; fear. At first, his heart plummets and he thinks not again, not so soon. But then Dustin says-

“I killed that guy. Didn’t I?”

And every other thought in Steve’s mind crumbles like ash. 

“The Russian,” Dustin clarifies in Steve’s silence. “The doctor.” 

Steve remembers. 

Bald, round glasses. 

Stale coffee breath. 

Pliers pulling his nail. 

He can’t speak, throat closing up. 

Dustin keeps talking, rambling like Robin does when she’s panicked. “They used those cattle prods to stun demogorgons, Steve. Do you have any idea how many volts that thing held? He- He fell, like-”

“Dustin,” Steve says - rasps it out because his throat is dry but he needs to stop Dustin’s spiral. 

Rendered silent, Dustin looks up at Steve with wide, glistening eyes. He’s expecting an answer, but Steve doesn’t have one. He can’t think beyond the sight of Dustin standing before him in a matching pajama set and untied shoes, like he didn’t have the time or mind to fasten them up because he was in too much of a rush to come here. To seek out Steve, in the middle of the night. Steve, who should be able to help because that’s his job; he’s the protector, the older brother Dustin can come to for comfort. 

Except that Steve was woken with a start just five minutes ago when Dustin started pounding on his front door and he thought it was the Russians coming back for him, his mind still half lost to the nightmare he was having; all blood and bone saws and Robin’s screams. Part of him is itching to call her, like maybe she somehow died back there and Steve has been imagining her this whole time and he just needs to hear her mom answer the phone and say, ‘Yeah, she’s right here, honey’. 

But he remembers Dustin charging in, remembers watching him strike the doctor right in the chest and how he fell to the ground, limp, and didn’t get back up. Knows that everyone is safe, no matter what his brain tries to tell him. Robin and Erica are sleeping in their beds, and Dustin is standing on his front door step, bike discarded on the ground next to the Bimmer. 

Steve takes a deep breath and says, “Get in here.” 

He ushers Dustin in with a hand on the back of his neck, locking the door behind them, and heads to the living room. Dustin just keeps looking at him, like Steve has all the answers. Like Steve can make it all better. Can say the voltage wouldn’t have killed him, as if the possibility that he’s still out there wouldn’t send himself into a panic attack. 

“Steve,” Dustin says, and it sounds like a plea; the way his voice lisps, wet and small. 

He’s only thirteen.

“I killed a person,” Dustin says. 

And Steve gets it, sort of. It doesn’t matter that the person Dustin killed was evil and cruel, just like it didn’t matter that Billy Hargrove was about to kill Lucas when Steve stepped in between them. He still didn’t want to hurt someone. Each punch felt like too much, like if he punched any harder, he’d do some serious damage. And Billy would have deserved it - as horrible as it feels to think that after his sacrifice - but Steve didn’t want to be the one to do it. That’s not who he is. He’s a protector, not a fighter. Not a killer. That breaks something in a person, as is made clear by the crack in Dustin’s voice. It took something from him. The little bit of innocence Dustin had left. 

“Yeah,” Steve says, quiet and almost apologetic. “You did.” 

Dustin’s face falls, as if he really did want Steve to say otherwise. But avoiding the truth won’t help anything. 

“But- But you saved me, okay?” he says, like he’s asking if that truth is enough.

Dustin’s eyes flash with something Steve can’t identify. 

“Me and Robin,” Steve continues. “You saved us. If you hadn’t done what you did- What you had to do…”

His nightmares have answered that hypothetical too well. 

He shakes it off, puts his hand on Dustin’s shoulder instead.

“You saved us. You did good, Dustin. Okay? That’s what’s important here.” 

Dustin's face crumples and before Steve can blink, he’s got an armful of the kid. He’s still bruised, ribs only just recovering from the break, and it hurts. But he wraps Dustin up in his arms and lets him cry into his shoulder, wetting the thin fabric through. 

"Hey, it's okay," Steve soothes, voice low. "You're okay. I've got you, buddy."

He’s not coddling him or trying to get him to stop crying- he just talks so Dustin knows he’s there. Tells him how grateful he is for Dustin taking care of him and Robin when they were messed up, for being so brave when he busted into that room. He talks until Dustin is quiet against him, left with his arms wrapped around Steve’s waist and his face pressed into Steve’s shoulder. He doesn’t move for a while, but Steve doesn’t mind - just rubs his back and rests his cheek against his curls. 

“Your mom know you’re here?” he asks softly. 

Dustin shakes his head. 

“You wanna stay here tonight?” 

Dustin nods. 

Steve checks his watch over Dustin’s shoulder. It’s almost midnight. He sighs. 

“Remind me to send her flowers or something as an apology for waking her up right now,” Steve says, light-hearted, trying to make Dustin laugh.

But Dustin just sniffles, guilty. “Sorry.”

“Hey, no. It’s fine. Take your shoes off and head on upstairs, yeah? I’ll call your mom and tell her you’re with me.” 

Dustin pulls back, wipes his wet nose with his sleeve and Steve tries not to cringe. 

“Thanks, Steve.”

It’s not entirely selfless, calling Dustin’s mom. If he calls Mrs Henderson, he can call Robin right after without Dustin knowing. He has a feeling she’ll be awake at this time too anyway. He thinks he might call the Sinclairs as well, wants to make sure Erica is okay. 

And as long as Dustin stays the night, Steve knows that at least he’s safe, spread out right beside him, taking up the whole bed. Can make sure Dustin sleeps through the night, can be there if he has a nightmare that his mom wouldn’t be able to calm him down from. 

Steve ruffles Dustin’s hair, smiling at how he pushes into it like a cat. “It’s no problem.”

[love-toxin]

tell me why i woke out of a dead sleep at 5am just thinking about Steve being sweet on his pregnant girlfriend.......and fucking his pregnant girlfriend

like, I'm on the hype train of Steve getting so worked up and crying when you tell him you're pregnant, and the cheesier the reveal of the news the better. he just wants all of it so bad, wants to mow the lawn and have the little brightly-coloured toys scattered all over his house, wants the early mornings at the crack of dawn to soothe your baby and the feedings and the little newborn gurgles and the cuddles and everything. he wants to pin up your ultrasounds on the sun visor in his car and keep photos in his wallet to show people when they ask, or when they don't ask, because everyone in Hawkins will know that Steve Harrington is gonna be a daddy. like he is so dad-shaped, he's the softest guy ever to be the father of your child and he has absolutely no shame--yes, he is a grown man, and yes he will coo and baby talk at his baby like they can understand him, and nobody will be able to embarrass him enough to stop. they're just jealous they don't have as cute a baby as mine, he'll insist, and he won't be wrong because your baby is just adorable with those big, brown eyes and that distinct Harrington nose.

however, beforehand? when you have yet to meet that beautiful child that he's been excited for since the first day he found out he was having one? Steve is somehow even more tender and sweet with you as you grow him or her in your belly. and not just in the sense that he doesn't let you carry anything no matter how heavy it is, or comforts you whenever you cry no matter how ridiculous of a reason it is, or even rubs your swollen ankles and goes as far as to drive miles out of the city to get you something to eat that won't make you sick.

it's also that he comes home from his shifts at Family Video, pulls off that dorky green vest and that soft striped polo, and immediately has I need you written all over his face. don't get him wrong, it's not like he expects sex from his gradually more and more pregnant girlfriend--it's that he's usually been thinking about you the whole time he's been gone, and if the feelings of missing you are strong for him, it's about a thousand times stronger for you. you can't get too worked up or even try to relieve yourself alone, you're pregnant--that's his job, and about half the time he barely even notices his own arousal when he's so focused on making sure yours is taken care of. he won't even let you suck him off when you're really pregnant even if you whine, instead he'll suggest letting him slide his cock between those soft tits if they're not too sore, which honestly gets him off so good he actually gets embarrassed about how fast he cums all over your face. no matter how big your belly gets or how shy you are about your body changing so much, Steve will find his way around keeping you happy and satisfied so you have as little stress as possible.

in fact, when you're still in the early stages of your pregnancy and haven't rounded out too much, Steve goes crazy over laying you on your side, holding your leg up under your knee, and fucking you long and slow so you can really feel him making love to you. kissing your shoulder and rubbing your bump with his other hand, murmuring into your ear about how big you're gonna get and how full your tits are gonna be, how you're gonna get so needy but that's okay because he'll always be here. always eager to rub his clingy, pregnant girlfriend's clit and kiss her all better, make her feel so beautiful as he thanks you endlessly for making a baby with him and letting him be a dad.

and just wait until after you're due, when you've started adjusting to your new life and you're well past the point of being able to have sex again. Steve may be the sweetest dad alive and totally into the responsibilities that come with fatherhood, but when you get some time to be alone and he gets the chance to be how he was with you before, he will hammer the last nail into the coffin of ruining you for any other man that ever comes along. putting all he can into taking the stress of caring for a newborn off your shoulders isn't enough--he needs to make absolutely sure that you know how much he loves and adores you. and nothing does that better than a couple glasses of wine to loosen his tongue, and the most needy railing of your life as he babbles his lungs out with a million dirty praises and promises to make you Mrs. Harrington before he makes you a mom for the second time.

[film-in-my-soul]

Meet Ugly | 2,101 | philomendron (tetrapteryx) / @philomendron

Summary: There's a groan of confusion from the hospital bed. Eddie's eyes creak open. Wayne and the man with the shotgun freeze as they watch him take in this new development. His eyes rove sleepily across each one of them in turn before he yawns widely. "Steve, meet my Uncle Wayne," he says calmly, to a choked noise from the man Wayne now knows as Steve. "Wayne, meet my Steve,” He introduces him with a twirl of his fingers. “We're going on a date once I stop pissing blood." He only has enough energy to treat them to a clumsy set of devil horns before his eyes slide shut. “Love you, ‘night.”

Eddie Munson and the Dreamboy | 8,147 | pukner

Summary: "How'd you get in here--" Steve hisses. "Your security sucks, sweetheart," says Eddie. Then, "Actually, that isn't true. It was a nightmare getting here, and the inside of your brain is a fucking labyrinth."

Three Shots | 13,434 | steveharringtoned

Summary: Three shots ring out. Steve hears them before he feels them; a warm, wet pain burning in his torso, intolerably excruciating. There’s a bundle of squawks and screams, outbursts of panic and anger, and it’s only when Hopper falls forwards to take Steve up into a slightly rough, protective hold, does he realize that two of those shots have lodged themselves in his own flesh and bone. (Realizes that he’d moved, instinctively, to shield El, despite never having spoken to her, who’d the gun had been so precisely pointed at, aimed for.) Steve Harrington watches his own blood pool and trickle over a series of hands pressed against him, small and large, soft and rugged, and for a moment, wants to stay like this. He can’t.

the boys of summer | 19,926 | steveharringtoned

Summary: “Steve,” Wayne echoes. “This is my home. Eddie’s my boy.” And then he ruffles his hair with one large hand, coarse from years of working with them, in an action that reminds Steve of Hopper. “I’m gonna go down there and get my boy back. You’re gonna be my tour guide.” He holds his hand out for the final gun Steve has stashed, which he gives over reluctantly. He finds Wayne remarkably difficult to argue with—wonders if Eddie found the same. “Tour guides don’t need guns. You point at somethin’, I shoot it. Got it, Steve?”

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10 P.M. | 2,165 | stellarpoint (pettifogger) / @heybluechild

Summary: “Can you read to me?” Eddie asks. Steve blinks. “Read to you?” Eddie nods, his eyes falling shut again. “Wanna read but my head hurts too fuckin’ much,” he grumbles. “S’okay if you don’t want to. We can just sleep.”  “No, it’s okay, I want to— it’s just, uh, it’s just—” It’s just that Steve hasn’t read aloud in years. He hasn’t read aloud since doing Romeo and Juliet in tenth grade English class, and everyone had laughed when he mispronounced “vestal livery” in Romeo’s monologue, just like they had laughed when he was twelve and had to sound out all the unfamiliar words in reading class, just like they had laughed when he was seven and read so slowly that someone raised their hand and asked if they could take over for him. 

Safety | 2,830 | Penny00Dreadful / @penny00dreadful

Summary: Robin should be royally pissed off with herself right now. She would be if she wasn’t so damn scared. That guy was still trailing behind her, no matter the twists and turns she’d taken down different streets trying to lose him and the only thing she’d gained from it was to get totally and completely lost.

bring your hunger by theamazingbard

2 Part Series | Rated E | Total Words: 2,749

Part 1 Summary: "Do you know," Steve breathes into his mouth. "How fucking hot you are?" Eddie grins against Steve's extremely kissable lips. "Why, Steve," This has been an ongoing problem-- Eddie can't seem to shut his fucking mouth, even when they make out. Steve doesn't seem to mind, and easily focuses his mouth on Eddie's neck. Win-win. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to get into my pants." "Think we can actually get them off, this time?"

Would You Like to Add Another Member to Your Party? by AmethystUnarmed / @amethystunarmed

2 Part Series | Rated T | Total Words: 14,902

Part 1 Summary: "Looks like you could use some company." Harrington sighs as he looks over Eddie with resigned eyes. “I’m still on concussion protocols. If you’re trying to get in a fight, pick a different jock to fuck with. I’m pretty sure another hit to the head will just straight up kill me at this point.”

Timeline Changes by alittleoff

2 Part Series | Rated T | Total Words: 15,871

Part 1 Summary: " Eddie looks at Steve, feeling more seen than he's ever been in his life. His hand clutches back at Steve's. "Yeah. Okay. I'll graduate with you. Class of '85." "

the summer of '85 by ToEdenandBackAgain

3 Part Series | Rated T-E | Total Words: 20,132

Part 1 Summary: "You're abusing company policy,” Steve corrects and Eddie nods, unashamed, and leans forward. “Fuck The Man, Harrington. Gimme a taste.”

The Princess Guy by peytra / @peytraa

2 Part Series | Rated T-M | Total Words: 48,621

Part 1 Summary: Steve doesn’t think anything of it, the first time. He’s sitting in the boathouse with Munson, waiting for something to happen. He refuses to think about it as hanging out or anything. It’s not like they really know each other.

Master Reclist · Personal Masterlist · Blog Nav.

[thenerdnextdoorxo]

LOATH TO LOVE

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x reader

Summery: You and Wanda are literal enemies. Fury sets you two up for a mission.

"WHAT?!!"

You and Wanda exclaimed.

"There is no way I'm going on a mission with her!!" You screamed, pointing at Wanda.

"Oh as if I want!!" She screamed back.

"Guys, this is not a choice for you to make, you two are capable of doing the mission better than others, this is why I chose you," Fury chimed in. " Would you please set aside all of this bullshit and get the job done?" He asked, looking at you two

Ever since you joined the team, and you and Wanda have been at each other's throat. To you, she is a show off. She shows off how powerful she is and can't shut up about it, so you decided it was your duty to show her who is the strongest.

You have the power of electricity. You can shock everyone in the room in a matter of seconds. Your mood can affect it too. If you are in a really bad mood or shouting at someone, electricity would cover your body to a point where if anyone touched you, they would literally fry.

You and Wanda were always fighting. The team got tired from it. All of them except Nat. She found it amusing.

When Fury left and left you guys to figure yourselves out, Natasha cam in. "Wow, I would LOVE to see you two going on a mission and fighting all the time, it would be incredible." She stated.

"Piss off Nat," You replied, storming out of the room. "You know, maybe it's your time to finally stop the mini civil war," She said. "Mini civil war?" Wanda asked. "That's what me and the rest of the team call it," She chuckled.

Wanda just sighed and walked out of the room to continue training.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"L/N, you know what to do, right?" Steve asked from the ear piece.

"Yes, I do Rogers," You replied

"Yeah right, your gonna ruin shit for us like you always do," Wanda scoffed.

"ALWAYS??!!!" You screamed.

"Guys, focus on the mission," Fury scolded.

"We are focusing, but Wanda has suddenly decided to be a bitch, and I don't think we are going to be able to finish the mission today, the guy we are looking for hasn't arrived yet." You stated. "We have to find somewhere to stay in."

"Alright, take care." Steve said and then closed the call.

"Come on jackass, we need to find a motel."

"WHO YOU CALLING JACKASS-"'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Welcome to the East State Motel, how can I help you?" The guy at the counter said boringly. He sounded like he was saying this phrase over and over again to every customer.

"We would like to stay in a room." Wanda said. "Separate bedrooms." You emphasized on separate and Wanda rolled her eyes.

"I would have to apologize, there is only one room left with a queen sized bed," The guy stated.

"What do you mean there is ONE room??" you exclaimed. "We can't stay in one room!!" Wanda continued.

"Well. it's not my problem," The guy said with the same tone, reaching for the key's and giving them to you.

"One of us has to sleep on the floor," Wanda said. "That's gonna be you of course," You replied. "And what makes you so sure??" She asked. "Oh I don't have to be sure, I just know," You replied with a smug.

As soon as you reached the room and you two saw how dirty the floor is, none of you wanted to sleep on the floor.

"You are used to the filth you can sleep on the ground!" Screamed Wanda. "HEY!! WATCH WHAT YOUR SAYING!!" You exclaimed. "I'm watching." She said. "The only person who is going to sleep in here is you!!" "AND WHO SAYS THAT!!??" "Me of course."

After a lot of bickering you two decided that you should sleep in the same bed, BUT with a pillow wall.

"This side is mine if you cross it, I would turn you into dust." You said. You can actually turn someone to dust with the right amount of electricity.

The entire night, Wanda kept taking all the blanket and you tried pulling it off but she was too heavy, so you decided to just sleep in the cold.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

When you two woke up, you were surprised that you were tangled in each other, almost cuddling. When you realized that, you two immediately jumped off the bed screaming.

"WHAT WERE YOU DOING???" "ME???? WHAT WERE YOU DOING!!!" "YOU CLEARLY WERE THE ONE TO START IT!!!!" "YOU STOLE THE BLANKET WHAT DID YOU EXPECT????" "EWWWW I SMELL LIKE YOU!!!"

wait, you smell like her.

she smells nice

She smells terrible.

"EWWW I SMELL LIKE YOU TOO!!!" Wanda said and you saw how her face shifted a bit when she smelled her shirt.

wait did she smile?

"whatever, we need to get up and start working now." She said and got up quickly to change her clothes, but you could've sworn she sniffed the shirt one more time and smiled.

You were so CONFUSED.

===============================================

Should I make a part 2??? Let me know!!

My requests are open!!!

<3333

[p-taryn-dactyl]

Someone To Fight For (1)

a/n: hi everyone!! So this was the first series I wrote on this site but after review, I’ve decided to rewrite most of the series. This part I kept relatively the same, except I edited it bc oh boi it needed some TLC. I hope you enjoy!

word count: 1.2k

taglist: @nyx-aira @coolbeans32

warning(s): hydra; mentions of torture; Y/N is only mentioned in this part; italics mean flashback

prompt: what if hydra gave bucky someone to fight for?

Sometimes the faces of the Soldier’s victims burned into his dreams, denying him the luxury of sleep.

Sometimes he dreamed of Steve saying “I’m with you ‘till the end of the line” then fading away as he danced away with Peggy.

Other times, he heard her screams. Those were the worst. His mind wouldn’t allow him to wake up, his body frozen on the floor, forcing him to relive the terrible moments. Her eyes, filled with pain as fists and knives pierced her skin, connecting with his would shock him awake, sweat pooling on the crevices of his body.

She haunted not just his dreams, but every waking moment he had.  

The one he left behind. His sister. 

—————————————————————————————————

“Buck, you need to answer her.”

Sam’s rich voice filled Bucky’s ears as he was shaken from his latest memory. He looked around the room, eyes focusing on his best friend and therapist. Taking a deep breath, he blinked a few times to ground himself. 

“Sorry, I didn’t hear the question.”

Dr. Raynor smiled, something akin to pity filling her eyes. Sam studied Bucky’s face, analyzing every shift in expression. The therapist folded her hands over her lap, making direct eye contact with Bucky. 

“Are you able to sleep in a bed again? Or do you still have nightmares?”

Bucky froze. He felt all the air leave the room, strained breaths being sucked into his lungs. Sam cautiously placed a hand on his shoulder. He gave a short nod to Dr. Raynor as Bucky closed his eyes, shaky breaths steadily becoming even. Pursing her lips, she unfolded her hands to grab her notepad. 

“Oh come on, not the writing.” Bucky exasperatedly mumbled. Sam gave a short laugh. Dr. Raynor shook her head before continuing. 

“Who do you see the most?”

Bucky knew she was mentioning the victims. Maybe implying that the ones he saw the most were the ones he felt the most guilty for. But she didn’t know. Sam didn’t know. But maybe, just maybe, if he told someone, the guilt would feel less heavy on his shoulders. 

“Y/N.” Her name was a hesitant admission. Both Dr. Raynor and Sam’s eyebrows drew together in confusion. Y/N wasn’t a name on the list of known Winter Soldier killings. Bucky huffed, a small smile on his lips, at their shared lost expression. 

“Hydra knew how to manipulate. Their best ways were mental and emotional manipulation, obviously,” he waved a hand towards himself, “They knew that for a weapon, an assassin to really have a 100 percent kill rate, they needed something to motivate them. Someone. So, looking into my history, they found out I once had a biological sister. She died when we were younger, but we were close. They thought ‘Zis is perfect! A zister figure vill be the perfect motivation!’-”

“I’m sorry, but who said that? Count Dracula?”

“No, it’s a German accent ‘cause they were German scientists? Wait that doesn’t matter, shut up Sam. Anyways, they found a young girl, shivering on the road. Helpless, hopeless, and perfect for manipulation. She didn’t know the hell she was being dragged into when Hydra operatives took her in to ‘help’.”

——————————————————————————————————

The Winter Soldier sat in the corner of the room, shaking away memories. Memories meant the chair. The chair meant- BANG. The door opened, revealing a scientist with a few agents dragging in the limp body of a young girl. 

“Soldier, meet your new roommate. She says her name is Y/N. Tomorrow she starts her…training. Help her get comfortable until then.” The scientist and the agents left the room, door slamming shut. The girl jumped at the loud noise, quickly crawling to the opposite side of the room. Farthest from Buc- The Winter Soldier. He cocked his head to the side, examining the damp curls stuck to her forehead, snow still lingering on her clothes. Her eyes locked on his metal arm. Instead of fear, like he anticipated, her eyes filled with wonder and fascination. She scrambled to his side, hand reaching out to touch the arm before catching herself. 

“It’s alright.” His voice shocked her. She was expecting something intimidating, something that would make her panic with just one syllable. But his voice reminded her of her father. Deep, but comforting. Brotherly, almost. Her small hand traced the metal, before retreating. 

“Are they going to give me one?” Fear now found its way into her eyes. The Soldier laughed. 

“No.” 

After their first interaction, the girl was taken in the morning. Her screams woke Barnes up. When she was taken back to the shared cell, a scientist accompanied her. His face was filled with awe. He looked at the Soldier.

“Her genetics, they’re incredible. She still needs to be broken in of course, but once she is,” the scientist's face filled with villainous glee, “You’ll have competition, Soldier.” 

Y/N and the Soldier grew closer after this. Both finding family in the darkest of times. After successful missions, which were all of them, Y/N would braid his hair with trembling hands. 

“Do you like killing them?” she asked him. His body would stiffen before relaxing. 

“No. But I can’t control it. They control me.” Y/N would stop braiding before coming to stand in front of Bucky.  She would hug him. But soon the Soldier learned what the scientist meant by ‘breaking her in’.

His mission went wrong. The target got away. When the Winter Soldier made it back to base, they had her. Forcing him to watch, they used every tactic available to make her scream. He watched as the girl he grew to love as a sister was torn apart just to be put back together again. 

Every time he failed, he knew the consequences. Since he failed to spill the blood of his target, her blood would paint the ground. She never blamed him though, he always tended to her wounds afterward.

He always came back. 

—————————————————————————————————

“After the collapse of Shieldra - stop snickering Sam - I was confused. Lost. By the time the Accords situation happened, I finally had time to look for her. I was going to start when Steve came barreling into my life again. In the end, when I was put into cryosleep, I thought that when the triggers were out of my head, it would be safer for me to find her. But when I woke up, another war was given for me to fight and after the Blip, after we all returned, I haven’t been able to find her,” Bucky shook his head, looking to the side, “I could’ve sworn I saw her in the final battle against Thanos but it must’ve been my imagination because once I saw her, she disappeared.”

Sam scratched his chin, thinking hard, an idea popping in his mind. When the session was over, the Falcon waited until Bucky was in their car, motioning to him he needed to use the bathroom. Once inside he made a few calls. 

“Sharon, do you still have less-than-legal contacts? Yeah? I’m looking for someone, I only have a name and a vague background. Y/N, one of Hydra’s experiments. Okay, I await your call.” He hung up and made his way to the car with Bucky. Once they were at Bucky’s apartment, they both lingered in the car. 

“So, uh, do you want to come in?” Bucky offered, a seemingly unnoticeable blush on his cheeks and neck. Sam nodded a little too quickly,

“Yeah, sure-” his phone buzzed. Bucky got out of the car, Sam followed him up into the complex, scrolling through files sent to him from a secure ‘anonymous’ number. Bucky started talking, his words unnoticable in Sam’s ears. 

“So anyways, that’s why I don’t let racoons in anymore-”

“Hey Buck,” Sam’s serious voice halted Bucky’s ramblings, “I found her.”

Bucky’s brows furrowed. 

“What-”

“Y/N. Your…sister. I know where she is.”

Sam sat on the couch, Bucky quickly following him, taking the phone Sam handed to him. 

“She’s in New Jersey, a town called Westview.” 

[fandomwriterstuff]

to love and be loved

totally unedited

1.1k words

Steve Harrington x fem!reader

rated g, fluff

Part 2

When we broke up, you told me to try and find myself

So I found myself in someone else’s bed

You can say I’m a fool but you’ve had four boyfriends since

And I’ve learned to love myself more than I could ever love you.

Steve Harrington was devastated when his relationship with Nancy ended, and felt even worse when she started going out with Jonathan. It was like everything everyone had ever told him was coming to fruition. He was an idiot, he wasn’t smart, he couldn’t get into college, he would always be working shitty part time jobs, he didn’t deserve to be loved.

Alright, that last one wasn’t explicitly said to him, but his parents’ treatment of him was enough of a reason to believe it. That, and Nancy. 

So? He took six kids under his wing and started working on himself. He helped out with Upside Down matters, made a good friend in Robin Buckley, and kept working, kept busy, kept his mind off of… Everything else. 

He tried to flirt with girls and fill that hole in his heart with someone pretty and kind, but it never seemed to work out. Blatant rejection did get tiring after a while, and so did random hookups at parties. (Robin’s ongoing tally list was also getting tiring but that he could handle). 

His dreams of having a loving girlfriend and proposing and starting a family were looking pretty bleak and far away, but he could forget about that if he focused on work and Dustin and the kids.

Sleep, work, drive Dustin to the arcade, pick him up from Hellfire, whatever, sleep again. 

He was sick of Keith and Family Video, sick of picking gum off of the back of racks, sorting through endless titles, doing inventory, getting turned down by every pretty girl who walked in, greeting customers with a fake smile-

Ding!

“Welcome to Family Video, how can I help you?” He knew his voice was monotonous, though he couldn’t care less about this job or whoever had walked in the door. That was, until Robin unceremoniously jabbed him in the ribs with her pointy elbow. He jerked and sent her a glare. The younger girl didn’t care though, using her eyes to point at the new customer- you. 

“Hey Robin!” Your voice was like the tinkling of bells, and Steve poked his head around the mess of tapes in front of him to peek at you. You were returning a movie - Top Gun, he noticed. A new one, and pretty popular. You must be close with Robin if she’d held it for you since that one was flying off the shelf. 

“How did you like it?” Robin countered, and you twirled a strand of hair around a manicured finger. 

“You know I love a man in uniform,” Steve was going to get caught staring if he didn’t stop soon, but he was trying to figure out where he knew you from. Your hair was lit up with the ugly yellow fluorescent lighting but it still had a healthy glow. Your eyes were alight with mischief as Robin cackled, though soon that gaze was turning towards Steve. Lord, he couldn’t look away. 

Even as you leaned onto the counter towards him and his smirking coworker, as your floral perfume permeated the air around him, as your tongue poked out to wet your bottom lip - even as you looked like the goddess Aphrodite standing in front of him, he couldn’t tear his gaze away. He would burn in your glorious presence if you let him.

“Hi, Steve,” your voice was soft, and he racked his brain for your name. You’d come to Scoops Ahoy on multiple occasions and made small talk with him, and you were a grade below him in school. He knew it, fuck!

“Don’t worry, Y/N,” Robin added, and it clicked in his brain. “He’s usually the one approaching pretty girls, I’m sure he doesn’t know what to say now that a pretty girl has approached him first.”

He narrowed his eyes, sending Robin a glare.

“I was lost in thought,” he grumbled, and his best friend huffed a short laugh.

“Thought I saw some smoke coming out of that head of yours, don’t hurt yourself.” “Ha ha,” he added sarcastically before turning back to you. “It’s nice to see you,” he added with a little smile, heart still cracked and raw from rejection on all sides. He shouldn’t have worried though, because as soon as he paid you any attention you perked up, eyes sparkling and lips curling up.

“It’s nice to see you, too. I’m glad you’re working here now,” you added with a little giggle. “I don’t have to keep buying ice cream just to see you.”

He was self-aware enough to stop from gawking, but his eyes did widen comically at your words. You’d been coming to Scoops so often to see him? Maybe he misinterpreted it. 

“Ice cream is more enjoyable than Tom Cruise though,” Steve added with a quirked eyebrow and you laughed, the sound filling his stomach with warmth. 

“Says you,” you replied, sticking out your tongue. 

“It’s true,” he was grinning now, some of his old confidence coming back as he stood from his slouched position and leaned forward to meet your gaze. “I’d take vanilla soft serve with sprinkles over Top Gun any day.” Despite the fact that he hadn’t even seen the flick once. 

“Is that so?” You asked conspiratorially, and you looked up at him with a little grin. Steve had the fleeting feeling that he was walking right into your trap. But… It felt nice to be pursued for once instead of always being the one doing the pursuing. It made him feel warm and fuzzy inside, like he was worth your time and affection. “In that case, you’ll have to take me out for ice cream and a movie. That way we can compare notes.”

“How would you like the drive-in? I think they’re playing an Indiana Jones double feature,” Steve asked, though even after your coy glances and the fact that your hand had crept over to his… He was nervous you would say no. 

“I would love to go to the drive-in with you, Steve. Pick me up Friday at seven? We’ll grab ice cream first,” your scent was swirling around him and he was sure his last brain cell was just basking in it instead of working. 

“It’s a date.”

When you finally walked out, swaying your hips and flicking your hair over your shoulder, Steve sagged against the counter. Breathe, he reminded himself. 

He jerked when the slap landed on his shoulder.

“Look at you go, Harrington!” Robin was grinning from ear to ear. “I have to update the whiteboard!”

The one tally mark in his favor was nice to see, though he hoped it would be the only one… That you would be the only one.

[undreaming-fanfiction]

Unforgiven

Let me attempt to justify some...not so ideal writing here. Looking at you, Mr. Duffer and Mr. Duffer.

I think it's kind of unfair how people perceive the young adults at the end of S4 (Steve, Robin, Nancy) as uncaring because they don't acknowledge Eddie's death or don't visibly grieve. It's not just that everyone grieves differently, the stages of grief, all that, but (ahaha, here we go, re-purposing personal stuff for fics again...) something I had to learn from my psychologist. And maybe someone needs to understand this too, beyond this fic. So this is how I understand the end of S4.

When your brain perceives you are in a threatening situation, it can protect itself (and you) by narrowing down its focus. It's not that you don't need to break down - you can't afford to break down. If you allow yourself to feel the loss and fully absorb it, you will become vulnerable and use up the energy you might need for survival. So your brain takes the trauma, sadness and pain, it locks it away and sticks a sign on it that says TO DEAL WITH LATER. And I firmly believe this is what's happening to our three survivors. However, each one of them deals with it differently. 

Nancy needs to be strong now because not only does she have to put on a tough face for Holly, Mike and her parents, now Jonathan is back too and she just can't catch a break, one emotional demand after another and if she lets one single crack appear, she might crumble. So she focuses on what she can change - she leads the fixing of Hopper's cabin because that's in her power, because she needs something to go right. Not for others, for herself. She needs that win, no matter how tiny. Once she does that and Hopper is back, a win on its own, she directs her efforts to organizing a plan of attack with Eleven and the rest of the people. She acts tough and confident, but it's eating her inside because her plan already failed once and it cost them nearly everything. Maybe if she thought it through, maybe if she didn't count on their unnatural luck to hold, maybe things would be different. Jonathan and Mike tell her she did the best she could under the circumstances, but that's not enough. Her best will never be enough. 

Robin takes the opposite route, she just tries to give everyone some sense of stability by acting as normal as possible. She sometimes overdoes it, tries to be bubbly and rambles about Vickie, but she basically sabotages the relationship in its beginnings, it's not about finding a partner now, but about using Vickie as a tether to her old life. To pretend for others that things can be normal again, that they can overcome all the death and destruction. Maybe if she doesn't acknowledge it, it will not haunt her. Maybe if she makes others laugh, when she sees a smile on Steve's face when she flirts with her crush, they will all be able to forget for a second how much they lost, forget the doubt she has - that maybe she did something wrong, maybe it was her clumsiness that caused the plan to fail. She still screams into her pillow at night, voiceless screams for Eddie and Max, but as soon as she gets up, she smiles at herself in the mirror, forcing the corners of her mouth up until the emotion looks natural. She digs up a concealer too old to be sanitary and covers the dark circles under her eyes. She has an image to maintain after all. 

Steve throws himself into helping the town in any way or capacity possible. He raids his parents' home, collecting anything and everything that could be useful, then drags Robin with him to the crisis center and drowns himself in work. Now, we don't see this happening, but I can Steve practically living there, only leaving to get a few hours of sleep, likely in his car. The Harrington house isn't his favorite place even under the best circumstances and he feels like he needs to be present, needs to keep an eye on things. And he feels guilt, so much guilt it's eating him alive, because Steve got his wish not to be the babysitter for the first time. And now he understands, now he sees why he needs to be there all the time with the kids. Because if he was with Eddie and Dustin, maybe Eddie would still be alive, hiding and complaining into his walkie, and Dustin wouldn't be limping, his eyes wouldn't have that haunted, empty look. Steve goes through the motions and destroys himself, as if him sacrificing his health and sanity could bring Eddie and Max back. It doesn't matter that he couldn't have split himself into three pieces, to be with each team to ensure they'd live and win. He chose to go with Nancy, with the illusion of a normal, stable life. He wants to be there for Dustin too, he wants to see that free smile again on his friend's face, but he's afraid of what he's going to see. He's afraid that Dustin will voice what Steve already knows he deserves - that it's his fault Eddie died. That he finally has Dustin all to himself and it's the worst feeling he's ever known. 

They each hide their pain differently, but they have one thing in common. All three of them accepted the fact that they don't deserve to grieve. It's not their turn to let the tears out and admit how they feel, they've lost that right when they led a teenager and an innocent man to their deaths. So right now, they just push through it and work on repaying a debt that will never, ever disappear.  

Will they eventually come to terms with their feelings? Maybe. Maybe after Vecna is gone or after one of them is benched after sustaining severe injuries, maybe they will break down and everything will flow out, ugly and rotten, but finally gone. Maybe it will take them years to understand that there's something festering in them and they will try to bury it deep, shove it down and keep it there, attempt to lead normal, happy lives. But eventually, they will have to come to terms with the simple truth that the debt they have is not just to Eddie and Max - it's to themselves. They will have to learn they owe it to themselves to face what they feel, to allow themselves to feel everything, and then maybe the inner wounds will heal, just like their bodies eventually did. 

But it's not their turn yet, not now. So if Steve only sleeps a few hours a day, if Robin rambles more than usual and sometimes inconspicuously wipes her eyes, if Nancy spends days locked in the cabin with her brother, the Hoppers and the Byers family, drowning exhaustion headaches in medication, it's not because they don't want to address what happened. They are just waiting for the permission from their brains to open that Pandora's box.

[jstarswrites]

Game Plan

Chapter nine is here, and this is probably one of my favourite chapters, some really cute Eddie x Reader moments in this one! I hope you enjoy!

The group headed to Max’s trailer, since Eddie’s was still technically a crime scene and no one liked being that close to a gate. You held onto Eddie’s hand tightly as you crept across the dark trailer park, needing to feel him after your ordeal with Vecna. You knew that you hadn’t been cursed like Max; no nosebleeds, headaches, or trouble sleeping. But that didn’t mean seeing him, and being forced into whatever hell he’d thought up for you hadn’t affected you.

Hearing Dustin scream… That had almost broken you. You’re the big sister. It’s your job to protect him, no matter what. And hearing him scream like that, you’d thought you’d failed. Failed your little brother. Dustin. The kindest, sweetest, funniest kid. And that, that you could not take. But hearing Eddie scream had hit a different part of you. A part you hadn’t known existed until now. That scream had gone directly to your heart and ripped it in two. Completely shredded it. Because the idea of Eddie being hurt, of him being gone, that would destroy you.

Hearing his voice… you hadn’t been lying when you said he’d saved you. His voice had brought you back, a tether for you to hold on to in a world where reality shifted around like a damn slinky. In a world where left was right and up was down, Eddie was your constant. The one thing you could count on. And he’d called you back. Had begged for you to come back to him. And because you couldn’t stand to see him hurt, you had. You’d followed his voice all the way back to him. 

Inside Max’s trailer, you took charge, despite still feeling a little shaky. You herded the others into sitting down and passed around coke’s to everyone who had been in the upside down. You all needed a good dose of sugar for the shock. Steve and Nancy especially. Okay, and you, too. Once you’d all sat down and finished your drinks and rested for a bit, you had Robin and Max look for food. Robin, bless her, made a pot of coffee for everyone, though you and Nancy had the foresight to forbid the kids from drinking it. Dustin especially did not need any more energy.

‘Max, do you have a first aid kit?’ You asked her, searching the bathroom for supplies. 

‘Um, maybe?’ She called from the kitchen.

‘I’ve got it,’ Lucas said, joining you in the bathroom. He held a duffle bag in his hands that you recognised. 

‘You remembered the grab bag?’ You asked, surprised.

‘Yeah, one of us used their brains this time,’ he said, grinning at you.

‘Attaboy, Champ,’ you said, taking the bag from him and smiling gratefully. 

You rummaged around inside, handing out torches to everyone and snacks to eat while they waited for Robin and Max to cook the mac and cheese they’d found. You pulled out the first aid kit you’d stashed in all the grab bags and grabbed Steve’s arm. You hauled him down to Max’s mom’s room, Nancy and Eddie following curiously when you called to them. You’d taken a first aid course freshman year, and took it again whenever the opportunity came up. Considering the many near death encounters you’d all had in the last three years, you figured it was a good idea. 

‘Uh, y/n? Whatcha doing?’ Steve asked as you made him sit down on the bed.

‘Sewing you up, dummy,’ you said, rolling your eyes. You opened the first aid kit, taking out the stuff you needed. You retreated to the bathroom to fill a bowl with warm water before coming back. ‘Sit still, okay? These need cleaning and then I think at least one is gonna need stitches.’

‘Stiches?’ Steve went pale.

‘Yeah, sorry,’ you said, organising your supplies. ‘Nancy, hold Steve’s hand please.’

‘Uh, why?’ She asked, though she did as you ordered.

‘Yeah, I’ll be fine,’ Steve protested.

‘It’s not for you. It’s for her. She’s still shaky,’ you explained as Eddie helped you sort through what you needed. ‘And I don’t want her passing out with none of us noticing, because we’re focused on Steve. So, you two watch each other.’

‘You’re still shaky,’ Nancy pointed out. 

You nodded. ‘That’s what Eddie’s here for.’

‘I got you, sweetheart,’ he confirmed, pressing a kiss to your temple.

You snapped on a pair of gloves so as not to risk cross contamination and then you gently pulled the bandage off Steve’s torso. The wounds weren’t awful, but they weren’t great either. You set to cleaning them, being as gentle as you could, conscious of the tense way Steve was holding himself and the way he winced whenever you touched him. Once you were satisfied the wounds were clean, you moved on to the stitches. You cleaned the needle and then pulled the thread through. 

‘Brace yourself, this is gonna sting,’ you told Steve.

He nodded. ‘Just be quick.’

‘I’ll be as quick as I can,’ you assured him. Your hand was a little shaky, but you took a deep, calming breath and got to work. 

Eddie stayed by your side the whole time, passing you anything you asked for and cheering you on. It amazed him how good you were at this stuff. He knew you were already pretty damn special, but the last few days had been one thing after another and now he was pretty certain you were, in fact, amazing. 

‘How do you know how to do this stuff?’ He asked, passing you the antiseptic as you finished sewing up a bite.

‘I took a first aid class freshman year,’ you told him, wiping the wound and then taking the gauze he handed you. You taped it down and then cleaned and re-threaded your needle. ‘I take it again whenever I can, so my skills don’t get rusty.’

‘Smart,’ Nancy said, nodding at you.

‘Yeah, around these kids you can never be too careful,’ Steve put in. 

You laughed. ‘Yeah, well, Dustin was always getting scrapes and cuts as a kid. He’s never known how to sit still. And then, after Will went missing and everything that happened, I figured it was a good idea to be prepared. And then, of course, Max came along and she skateboards.’

‘Adding to the need to know this,’ Nancy nodded, watching as you stitched up the last wound. 

‘Why do you think I call her Trouble?’ You smiled. ‘Spent most of last year fixing up her scrapes. It’s why I made sure there was a grab bag at everyone’s houses and in each of our cars.’

‘Organised, smart, and beautiful,’ Eddie said, grinning at you. 

‘Can’t be too careful in Hawkins,’ you said, finishing up. You wrapped a fresh bandage around Steve’s torso. ‘Those stitches will dissolve on their own. But keep them clean and change the gauze and bandages every day.’ 

‘Got it,’ Steve nodded.

‘And if you think something is wrong, come to me and we’ll figure out a way to explain it to the doctor,’ you told him.

You headed back into the sitting room to find Robin and Max handing out bowls of mac and cheese while Dustin and Erica set the table and Lucas dished up each serving. 

‘That’s actually kind of sweet,’ Nancy said beside you.

‘Very sweet,’ you nodded.

Over food, you discussed what you and Nancy had seen when Vecna had a hold of you. Nancy’s account had you all worried, and you knew it was time for the game plan. When it was your turn and you told them about hearing Dustin and then Eddie scream, Eddie wrapped an arm around you in comfort. 

‘Hang on a second,’ Dustin said. ‘You punched Vecna?’ 

Everyone was staring at you, except Eddie, who grinned and kissed you soundly, and Max, who leaned over to give you a high five. ‘Uh, yeah, I did. I mean, I thought he’d hurt you and Eddie, plus he cursed Max.’

‘Balls of steel, y/n,’ Steve said, nodding at you. 

‘Y/N is real punchy,’ Robin laughed. ‘Always has been.’

‘Yeah, remember that kid you beat up in freshman year?’ Nancy put in. 

‘Uh, what?’ Eddie asked, grinning at you. 

‘He was being mean to Robin,’ you explained, shrugging.

‘It’s how we became friends,’ Robin said, high fiving you.

‘Nice,’ Eddie said slowly, his brown eyes sparkling. 

‘I just can’t believe you punched the dark wizard,’ Lucas said, shaking his head.

That set you all off, giggling and laughing, and giving you all a much needed break from the doom and gloom of the situation. 

‘So, if we’re gonna get Vecna,’ Nancy said, once you’d all calmed down. ‘We have to do it somewhere we control.’

‘And we have to do that in the upside down,’ Robin added.

‘So, one team for killing Vecna,’ you said. ‘One to lure him to the Creel house so he’s easy to find in the upside down. And then one for distraction so the upside down team can get to the Creel house.’ 

You talked over the plan, working out the kinks and who was going where. You didn’t like the idea of using Max to lure in Vecna, but she was right. She was Vecna’s last victim. It made sense to use her. You still weren’t happy about it, though. You, Eddie and Dustin were team distraction, which you thought you could handle quite nicely, while Nancy, who was the best shot, Steve and Robin handled Vecna. With the plan worked out, you just needed weapons. And that was where Eddie stepped in. You watched him proudly as he organised a way to get to the army surplus store and a ride to get there.

You all packed up your stuff, ready to move out. Max handed her mask over to Eddie, and you couldn’t help it. You giggled. You tried to contain them, but then you caught Robin’s eye, and it was too late. The others turned to see what you were looking at, and once they caught on, they all laughed too. Eddie took the mask, still laughing, and then took your hand, entwining your fingers with his.

‘Ready for this, sweetheart?’ He asked you.

‘Born ready,’ you replied, smiling up at him.

‘That’s my girl,’ he said, leaning down to kiss you sweetly.

Running after Eddie in the trailer park while he wore a Michael Myers mask was the funniest shit you’d ever seen. It didn’t take him long to hot wire the RV, and he gave you a wink as you watched him, because strangely, it was the hottest thing you’d seen. You didn’t know how he’d hidden that he was so good with his hands. Steve was driving because no one trusted Eddie to drive and you had all collectively banned Max and Dustin. Which was probably the smartest thing you had ever done, let’s be honest.

You curled up with Eddie on one of the couches, your legs across his lap, his large hand on your thigh. You were talking to Max and Erica about what you’d need from the surplus store, writing them a list of must haves and trusting that Nancy and Steve would make sure everyone at least had one weapon each. But you were concerned with everyone surviving, so you made sure that they all grabbed vests and body armour of any kind. It didn’t hurt to be careful.

Max and Lucas stayed behind; Max because she needed to be listening to music, and Lucas be he would be instantly recognised if any of the basketball players were around. Eddie obviously couldn’t go in, so you stayed with him, trusting Nancy and Erica to get the things you needed, while Dustin and Robin were let loose in the store. You didn’t trust Dustin at all to bring back anything you needed. You knew him. He’d be looking for the cool shit, not the things that would keep you alive.

Eddie pulled you onto his lap once they were gone and kissed you soundly. It was long, and slow, and sweet. When you pulled apart, you met those beautiful brown eyes of his, knowing you wouldn’t get many more opportunities before it was time to gear up and walk into hell. At least you would be together. And you would have Dustin with you, too. 

‘I’ve been thinking,’ Eddie said quietly, playing with your hands. 

‘Oh? What about?’

‘Graduation,’ he said. ‘I’m crawling my way to a D- in Miss O’Donnell’s class. I’m graduating this year. With you.’

You smiled, kissing him softly. ‘Yeah, we are. We were planning on having a party at Steve’s place. Me, Jonathon, Nancy, and Robin are all graduating this year. And now you, too.’ 

‘Is that an invitation?’ Eddie grinned.

‘Duh,’ you said, rolling your eyes. ‘Where I go, you go.’

‘And where I go, you go,’ he smiled, pressing a kiss to your fingertips.

‘Exactly.’

‘So once we graduate… well, what are your plans?’ Eddie asked nervously. He didn’t want to assume anything. You’d said you were all in, but you were graduating in a few months. You might have college lined up already, you might be moving across the country. And he’d follow you in a heartbeat, if that was what you wanted. But he wasn’t going to college. He’d be lucky to graduate at all. Despite his confidence when telling you he was going to graduate, he wasn’t feeling that confidence at all. 

You shrugged. ‘I applied to the community college.’

‘Not planning on an Ivy league school?’ He questioned, brow furrowed. You were smart enough to get in, he knew that.

You shrugged again. ‘That’s for Squish, not me.’ You shook your head. ‘The only thing I like the sound of, is, well…’ You trailed off, uncertain.

‘What? You can tell me anything, sweetheart,’ Eddie reassured you, reaching up to run his thumb across your cheek gently. 

You sighed. ‘I like the sound of nursing school. Medical school is probably too much and I don’t wanna spend the next ten years at school. But maybe… an ER nurse?’ 

Eddie nodded, smiling at you. ‘I think you’d be great at that, sweetheart. I mean, you’d be great at anything you choose to do. But you’re organised, steady in a crisis, and good with kids.’

‘Flatterer,’ you smiled, kissing him softly.

‘I’m being serious.’ 

‘Thank you, Eddie,’ you said, kissing him again. You hadn’t told anyone but Dustin of your plans for after graduation. You hadn’t been sure you’d get in to nursing school. You knew you were smart enough and strong enough to cope with anything they threw at you, but your anxiety got the best of you at times and buried that confidence under a mountain of fears. But now you had Eddie to reassure you. 

‘Is there anywhere in particular you’d like to go?’ He asked, seeming nervous once more. 

‘Why? Do you have plans for after graduation?’ You questioned, wondering what was on his mind. 

He shook his head, letting out a bitter chuckle that broke your heart. ‘Nah, sweetheart. This is like, my third try? So no one’s gonna take me.’

‘Do you want to apply anywhere?’

‘Not really.’ He shrugged. ‘It’s not really my thing, you know?’

‘Sure,’ you nodded. ‘So what do you want to do?’

‘I don’t know,’ he said, looking down at your hands, playing with your fingers gently. ‘I thought maybe… the band could do something? You know?’

‘Are the others up for that?’

‘Sure,’ he nodded. ‘Corroded Coffin on the road.’

‘I like the sound of a road trip,’ you smiled.

Eddie’s head snapped up. ‘You’d come with me?’ He asked, totally surprised.

‘Of course I would,’ you told him. ‘Where you go, I go, remember?’

‘You’d really do that?’

‘Eddie, I told you I was all in.’ 

He nodded. ‘But what about nursing school?’

‘Eddie, I can do that pretty much anywhere,’ you pointed out.

‘Really?’

‘Yes,’ you said, nodding your head firmly. ‘Baby, did you really think I’d just wave you off and stay here without you?’

Eddie met your eyes, wondering how he got so lucky. ‘I just… no one’s ever wanted to be with me like that. To be all in, ride or die.’

‘Well, I am. And I will be till the day I die, Eddie Munson,’ you promised. ‘When I said all in, I meant it.’

‘You’d really come with me, and the band, on a road trip?’ Eddie asked, staring at you in wonder.

‘Yes,’ you said firmly, kissing him for extra emphasis. ‘We’ll tour. You guys will play clubs, and we’ll go from city to city. Who knows where we’ll end up?’

‘LA maybe?’

‘They have good nursing schools there,’ you smiled.

‘Yeah?’

‘And I’ve never seen the ocean,’ you confessed. 

‘Me either,’ he said. ‘We could go together.’

‘Eddie?’

‘Yeah?’

‘I really, really, like the sound of that.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yes,’ you told him, and kissed him again.

Eddie fiddled with his hands for a long moment. Did he risk it? He knew you’d said you were all in, and he believed that now. But you hadn’t said you loved him. And he wasn’t expecting you to. He knew he loved you. He hadn’t been lying when he said it was love at first sight. But he didn’t know how you felt, other than that you wanted a proper relationship with him, and you’d follow him to LA. If he did what he wanted to do right now, would it be too much too fast? He didn’t want to risk pushing you away. But he also knew you liked it when he said what he wanted.

‘What is it Eddie?’ You asked, biting your lip in worry.

Eddie slid one of his rings off his fingers. He took your hand and slid the ring on the ring finger of your right hand. ‘It… It might seem cheesy, and maybe this is too fast, but I wanted you to know I believed you. That I believed in us. So, I wanted you to have this. Think of it like a promise ring? You and me, y/n, to the end.’

You stared at the ring for a moment. It was the silver band shaped to look like a skull. It was a little big, but you had a necklace you could put it on if it slipped off too much. And then you pulled his face towards yours and kissed him. You poured all your love into the kiss, telling him with actions what you weren’t quite ready yet to say with words. Eddie kissed you back, a hand going into your hair and the other pulling you tightly against him.

When you finally came up for air, both of you were breathing hard. You kissed him softly, once, twice, three times for luck. ‘Eddie,’ you said softly. His eyes met yours. ‘You and me, to the end.’

‘You’ll wear it?’ He asked, wonder creeping across his handsome face.

You smiled brightly, and he swore it was like seeing the sun for the first time. ‘Yes, I’ll wear it. It might be a bit big, but if it is, I’ll put it on a necklace.’

Eddie’s answering smile took your breath away.

Taglist: @efvyqrs @gnnnne @smc777 @okilover02 @itsjenna2u @linkpk88

[berenwrites]

Beyond the Battle - Chapter 1 - Stranger Things - Steddie

Beyond the Battle­: Action & Consequence

Click here for All Posted Chapters

Summary: Steve hits things with a bat or gets hit depending on who you ask. He definitely does not have anything to do with the psychic stuff. That is El’s domain. However, as Vecna is defeated, the rules change.

Pairing: steddie (Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson)

Other Relationships: Steve & Robin, Steve & Dustin, Eddie & Dustin

Rating: Teen

A/N: Multi-chapter story, updated regularly. Honestly not sure how many chapters it will have yet because it's still a bit hand wavy in the middle, but definitely more than 12. Thank you to my beta for find my mistakes and to all those who read/like/reblog.💖 Follow #st:beyond-the-battle for updates.

Also on AO3

Chapter 1: The Battle

Steve swung at yet another demodog, caving in its skull and sending blood and gore into the air. It splattered onto his already destroyed pants as he focused on his next target. There were just so many. The only thing keeping him going was the thought of El battling to save them all and the rest of the older group around her, fending off bats with spears and guns. They had to be protected.

They were in the middle of downtown, where Vecna had decided to make his breakout from the Upside Down. Thanks to El finally getting through to Max, they had known where, so they had prepared, and the usable gate was still smallish, so Vecna’s creatures were not all coming through at once. However, it was getting bigger. It was almost too much.

The kids had had a ring of fire going on that they were feeding, but the enemy had made a hole in it. Steve had leapt into the breech because he was not about to let the dangers through. Nothing mattered except keeping his mismatched family safe.

He heard El scream a battle cry behind him, but he didn’t dare take his eyes off the attackers. He swung again and again until the whole world froze. It felt as if everything simply stopped, like someone had paused the movie. He couldn’t blink, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t move a muscle, but for a second, he glimpsed infinity.

It was glorious!

Until it wasn’t as the universe once again hit play. He crumpled to his knees, bat falling from numb fingers, head screaming in pain as Vecna’s hoard collapsed in death throes around him. He knew, without a doubt, El had succeeded, but he didn’t have long to celebrate. As the pain in his head ramped up, his beleaguered mind and body gave up and turned out the lights.

Steve lurched back to consciousness gasping, with no gap between thought and action, sitting up and grasping for a bat that was no longer there.

“Hey, Steve, relax. It’s over, you,re safe, everyone’s safe.”

Robin’s voice made it through his panic as hands firmly gripped his shoulders, but it took a while before his brain caught up with his instincts. For a second, all he could see was demodogs and demogorgons melting into a hideous mess, before it finally faded away into a white walled room.

“Hi,” Robin said, giving him a smile as he managed to focus on her.

She was kneeling on what turned out to be a bed, over his knees and looking right into his face.

“You with me, Dingus?” she asked, searching his face.

He nodded, at which point he realised his head was pounding.

“Ow,” he said, putting his hand to his forehead. “Please tell me I didn’t get another concussion.”

“That I can do,” Robin told him, climbing off and almost getting him in the groin with one of her knees. “At least not a physical one. We all got caught in El’s psychic backlash. Most of us just got up again, but you, Will and El stayed down. You’ve been out about a day, but the brains said you were just sleeping. Will woke up an hour ago, but El’s still out.”

“Do we know why I did that?” he asked. “And please say you have some painkillers.”

“No and yes,” she replied, picking up a glass and a little cup from the bedside table. “Will had a headache from hell too.”

“I love you,” he said as he downed the pills, noticing the empty bed to the left.

“Of course you do,” she said with a big smile. “Now lie back down while the pills kick in. Will didn’t and ended up throwing up all over the place.”

Steve made a face and let Robin fluff his pillows before taking her advice.

“I’ve seen some weird shit, but that was the weirdest,” he admitted as he made himself comfortable. “I mean I’ve been up against monsters and into the Upside Down, but never any of the psychic stuff like Nance or Max or Will or El. It was trippy in the extreme.”

“I just blanked out for a second,” Robin told him. “Like suddenly going into a tunnel on a rollercoaster or something. What was it like for you?”

“Everything kind of stopped,” he revealed, trying to describe what he had felt, “and it was like I could see everything all at once. Then time started again, my head was screaming at me, and everything went black. Kind of like being hit by a Russian thug.”

Robin winced.

“Ouch,” she said and patted his arm.

“Can only imagine what it must have been like for El,” he said. “How’s Will doing now?”

“After he threw up, he said he felt much better,” Robin said. “Last time I saw him he was tucking into a plate of French Toast as big as his head.”

“Sounds like a recipe for being sick all over again,” Steve said with a grin, groaning quietly in relief as he felt the first beginnings of the pills kicking in. “I know I wasn’t their age very long ago, but where the hell do they put it all?”

“Second stomach, gotta be,” Robin replied, nudging him in the side until he moved over a bit. “Clearly as we grow, we evolve and lose it, it’s just no one has decided to study the science properly. I mean who could be bothered with studying teenagers?”

When she kicked off her shoes and climbed back onto the bed, snuggling into his side, Steve began to feel better immediately.

“Watch the elbows, Buckley,” he warmed, and just for that she jabbed him in the ribs, but very gently.

“You’ve been sleeping all of yesterday and the beginning of today,” she said, throwing an arm across his chest. “Some of us were worriedly sitting by your bedside waiting for their Dingus to wake up.”

“Then nap now,” he told her, wrapping his arm around her back so they were comfortably ensconced. “I am not going anywhere, and I promise to protect your honour.”

Robin snorted a laugh but snuggled down a little further.

“Glad you’re okay, Dingus,” she said.

“Me too, Robs, me too,” he said quietly as he felt her relax.

~*~

Robin clearly hadn’t been completely joking about her bedside vigil because she fell asleep pretty quickly. She was in the middle of telling Steve all about the final battle from her angle when she trailed off. It was cute how she tried to start up again at least twice, but eventually nodded off properly.

Steve closed his eyes and let his mind drift as he waited for the throbbing behind his eyes to peter out. It was peaceful just lying there, listening to Robin’s breathing, and he fell into something of a meditative state. He became focused on the warmth of his best friend down his side and all he could think of was how he wanted to keep her safe and protected.

That it was over, at least as far as Vecna was concerned, helped with his sense of calm and he floated in the moment, enjoying it. His thoughts drifted free, taking some weird tangents, but he didn’t care. For some reason his mind conjured up Robin as a gently burning fire that he was guarding and feeding and feeling her heat.

It would have been easy to fall asleep again, but he didn’t want to lose the sense of Robin, so he resisted. Unfortunately, for most of them sometimes sleep held nightmares, and he preferred the simple contentment rather than risk it. Time had little meaning until someone lightly tapped him on the arm.

He reluctantly opened his eyes to find Dustin leaning over him.

“Hey, Dustin,” he said.

“You’re bleeding, man,” was not the greeting he expected to get back.

Dustin pointed to his face, and he realised his nose felt wet.

“Dammit,” he said and was very grateful when Dustin handed him a Kleenex. “Must have hit my head after all,” he concluded.

“You’re sure you’re okay?” Dustin asked as Steve wiped his nose, trying not to jostle Robin.

“Yeah,” he replied. “This happened last time I got hit on the head. Random nosebleeds for over a week. It’ll be fine.”

“Sorry for waking you,” Dustin said, seemingly satisfied with that answer.

“Wasn’t asleep,” he assured his younger friend, “just letting Robin use me as a furnace. And thanks, this could have been messy.”

“No problem,” Dustin replied with a grin. “I really came to see if Robin and now you want some lunch.”

Steve’s traitorous stomach had the audacity to growl, which made Dustin’s grin even wider.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Dustin said.

Steve hadn’t really thought about it before, but now his head wasn’t hurting he was beginning to understand why Will had been eating like a horse.

“Food would be good,” he decided. “Where are we anyway?”

It only occurred to him then that he hadn’t asked Robin before.

“Hey, Robs,” he said, gently shaking her shoulder.

“Hawkins Labs,” Dustin explained as Robin opened her eyes and blinked blankly a couple of times. “It’s become kind of a base for everything. Apparently there has been some secret refurbishing going on. Can you believe the army wanted to arrest us? I mean we just saved the world! But then Dr Owens arrived with a whole bunch of other people in uniforms and suits, and it all got dealt with. The army is cleaning up before they let people back into town.”

Steve went through surprised, alarmed, and resigned as Dustin’s speech went on.

“What time is it?” Robin asked as she sat up and stretched.

“Lunch time, apparently,” Steve replied. “Is there anywhere I can get a shower first?” he asked as an afterthought.

Someone had removed his filthy clothes and cleaned him up somewhat, but he still felt a bit gross.

“Yeah, you have smelt better,” Robin helpfully let him know.

“Clothes would be great too,” he added.

“Yeah, I’ll show you,” Dustin said. “But don’t take too long, I’m hungry.”

“I have to make sure my hair is perfect before going out in public,” Steve shot back and it inspired the laugh he had been hoping for, so he was pleased with himself. “Wow,” Robin said, climbing off the bed, “I need to nap and steal your body heat more often. I feel great.”

End of Chapter 1

On to Chapter 2

[cocopowderrr]

Dad…...? HENRY/VECNA/001 FANFICTION

“ i’ve been trying to get to you, join me…..”

previous chapter <3

CHAPTER 5

The monster is me…

“The reason why he's- he’s after m-me is because….”

“….Is because he’s my father.”

Dustin sat there shocked, he had no words, he was too stunned to speak. Vivian on the other hand felt ashamed, she felt responsible for what her father had done, she thought of herself a monster, just like her father…. After all, she stood there and did nothing when everything was happening. Dustin stood up and so did Vivian. He grabbed her wrist and Dustin dragged her upstairs where Nancy was looking for Max. Nancy saw that Max wasn’t on the couch and went looking for her and Dustin realized that when he was sleeping, Vivian would’ve slept as well, he rushed to her and saw her mumble things, and tried waking her up.

He went upstairs where Max was drawing something and Nancy was sitting next to her talking while her little sister Holly, played with her lite brite. Vivian quietly let herself get dragged and mentally prepared herself for what was to come. She still had to explain that she also had powers. Dustin arrived at the table and sat down while Vivian looked down with shame. Nancy and Max didn’t like the look on their faces so they asked what was wrong.

“Vecna…” Dustin took a deep breath.

“…Is her father.” Max and Nancy were looking at each other with their jaws on the floor. They looked at Vivian who wouldn’t make eye contact.

“What is this, Dustin???” Max chuckled.

“It’s true…” Vivian sounded like she was gonna cry.

“He showed me, he…. told me….”

“Well…” Nancy stood up and put her hand on Vivian's shoulder.

“You're not like him, you aren’t anything like him, you’re a kind, and an amazing person!” She smiled, but Vivian only cried more.

“No… I… am a coward.” Vivian's eyes landed on Max's drawing and she saw a glass tainted door, which was really, really familiar. She took a step forward and started to examine the other drawings she made, which were parts of a broken house.

“What’s wrong?” Nancy asked, she also looked at the drawings until she could see the familiar pattern, she grabbed a sharpie and asked Max if the drawing was a door, which it was. She started to connect the drawings together until it formed a house, not just any house, The Creel House.

“This house… was in my dream, when I was with da- I mean Vecna.” Vivian cursed herself for thinking of that man as a father, and the way he tricked her into telling her problems, totally broke her heart, she thought she finally had someone who loved her more than anything, but it was all a lie, he was using her. Dustin and Nancy discussed with Max that what if she went in his mind? It is possible, if Vecna can go to her mind, maybe she can go into his kind, as well. After concluding with this, Dustin and Nancy went to wake up Steve, Robin and Lucas, while Vivian and Max stayed where they were. Max could see that Vivian was not feeling well.

“What did he say to you…?” Vivian gulped and started bouncing her leg up and down.

“It’s alright, Vivian…. You don’t have to keep it in…” Max knew she was no one to say that, as she was running away from her friends and not opening up as well, but she had to make her friend feel better no matter what. Karen called Holly for something and Mr. Wheeler went to the bathroom. There was only Vivian and Max. Vivian took a a deep breath and focused on the black sharpie, which started floating. Max stood up from her seat, shocked and unable to say or do anything. Vivian let go of the marker which fell back on the table, and blood started to come out of her nostril.

“What the fuck, Vivian???” Max gasped. Everyone came from the basement to see what was going on, why was Max standing like that, and why wasn’t Vivian making eye contact with anyone. Dustin took a few steps forward, still confused.

“W-what’s wrong?” He hesitantly asked. Vivian looked at him with blood coming out of her nostril and pointed at it.

“Does this explain…?” Everyone was baffled, they had no words.

“Holyyyyy shit.” Steve had a lot of questions in his head, everyone did. Vivian stood up and walked past everyone. Robin asked where she was going and Vivian just said to not follow her, and stay away from her. She wanted to go to her father, who was in the upside down.

“Go after her!!!” Nancy shouted, everyone grabbed their stuff and ran after Vivian who wasn’t afraid to put some obstacles in their way. As she saw everyone coming, she pointed her hand at Steve's car and made it float in the air.

“MY CAR!” Steve shouted.

“What happens if I let go….?” Vivian threatened, she wasn’t the same anymore, she looked terrifying, she wasn’t the same goofy and sweet Vivian anymore, she was acting deranged.

“Vivian���” Dustin slowly approached her. “You don’t have to do this, you’re not alone, you're not like your dad…” Vivian knew deep inside that Dustin was right, but she caused those people a lot of trouble, she caused them loss of their loved ones, and she doesn't know how she will ever be able to repay that back, unless she goes to her father and tries to stop all this.

“Shut it, Dustin!” Vivian yelled. He ran to her, he wasn’t going to let her go anywhere alone, not after he saw how vulnerable she was when she was sleeping.

“Vivian… I know you feel terrible for not telling us this before… But I get where you’re coming from, you were probably scared. I know you better than anyone around here, you're not a monster, you’re the most amazing friend I could ask for, I know you didn’t help us before, but now with you, we might have a chance against Vecna, and you want to fight him more than anyone of us, so please, come with us…” Vivian stayed quiet for a while, she slowly started to land Steve's car back at its place and fell on her knees, she sobbed with her eyes closed, she felt exhausted, she wasn’t used to using her powers. Nancy and Robin ran to her and sat down along with Dustin and soothed her. They helped her get to Nancy's car as she was feeling weak, and couldn’t walk. She lazily looked at Steve and apologized, who ruffled her hair.

Nancy decided it was best to take her car as there were a lot of people this time. Nancy and Robin sat at the front with Nancy driving. Lucas, Max and Vivian were in the backseat, and Dustin and Steve were at the end. Vivian didn’t make eye contact with Max because she also felt responsible for Billy's death, but Max knew better than to blame her. Instead, she started joking.

“Hey, I'm jealous of you, wish I had powers too now…” Vivian looked at her and smiled.

“I mean I'm the only girl who doesn’t have superpowers, you and El are lucky.” Lucas also agreed with Max, he was also jealous of not having powers. Everyone started joking after that, and the mood changed a lot for the better.

On their way to The Creel House, Vivian felt as if someone was around her, but she couldn’t see them. The car stopped due to traffic. She looked outside the window and saw Vecna casually standing on the side of the road with that sadistic smile on his face. Vivian remained quiet, and gulped.

“Don’t worry, Vivian. I'll personally come for you myself.”

“I won’t let you go through any trouble…”

“You belong with me.”

The signal turned green and the car started moving once more, Vecna stood there smiling as his terrified daughter went away. Lucas nudged Max and pointed at Vivian who was acting weird.

“Do you think it’s…” Max whispered to Lucas who nodded. Vivian looked away from the window and clenched her fists.

“I'm waiting, daddy.”

TO BE CONTINUED

[jimblejamblewritings]

changes hurt | part 8.

Summary: (Y/N) has always been one of the stronger Alphas. Which is saying something when the Avengers is a team overrun with Alphas. A mission gone wrong changes her entire world and when everyone starts treating her different, she doesn’t know if she can cope. Change hurts and (Y/N)’s not sure it’s a pain she cant bear.

Warnings for the Series: strong language, angst, fluff, assault, a/b/o dynamics, sexual content (not sure if there will be smut or just talks, leaning more to just talks but since I don’t know, let’s just say 18+ readers only)

Pairing: Steve x black!reader

Word Count: 2.4k

Previous Part | (Series Masterlist)

You had fallen asleep on Steve’s chest. He carefully moved you off of him and got up to get food, knowing you just wanted to stay in. It was a toss up between ordering takeout or cooking. Traditional values won out— it might not have been sex, but claiming was intimate and that called for some homecooked food as part of the tender aftercare.

The clatter of pots and pans was so loud that for a moment Steve was worried it would reach your floor and wake you up. While it didn’t wake you up, it did garner the attention of Bucky and Sam who were coming back from hanging out with each other. Steve heard them come in but was too focused to say a word. The other two men watched him with amused half smiles as they leaned against the counter.

“Steve making more than a grilled cheese and not burning down the kitchen? What has the world come to?” Bucky joked.

“I know this scene. No shirt, back muscles in full concentration, not bothered to tell us to shut up… Who’s the woman that put it down so good you got up to cook?” Sam piggybacked off of Bucky without missing a beat.

Both men laughed at their own comments while Steve rolled his eyes and took the rice off of the stove to drain it. The laughing stopped right away. They were staring at the two hickeys on his neck, already staring to darken. As if they didn’t want to know, Bucky and Sam took very shallow sniffs of the air. Your scent was there. And not just there on top of Steve’s scent, but mixed in with it— so subtle you wouldn’t know it was there until you sniffed for it. The telltale sign of a bond. Steve watched the water drain from the pot.

“Do you think it matters the rice is fresh? The recipe said it doesn’t fry as well,” Steve said as he started spreading the rice out to try and dry it.

“You know you could have done that in the rice cooker.”

“There’s a rice cooker?”

“(Y/N/N) keeps it on the top shelf, fourth cabinet. We also already have leftover rice.”

Steve gave Sam a questioning look and opened the fridge door. Sam’s eyes scanned the fridge until they found their target. He pointed to the large round grey-brown container. Steve held it up.

“This is butter.”

“Open it,” Sam said with a knowing look on his face.

Steve, even though he thought it was dumb, opened the container anyway. He blinked twice as if the rice would suddenly turn into butter. Looking back at the container, it was clearly labeled that it once held butter at some point. He took out the rice and placed it in the stir-fry pan before dumping the fresh rice into the butter container.

“We didn’t sleep together if that’s what you two are waiting for,” he said as he started the stove once again and poured some soy sauce over the rice.

That made Bucky and Sam surprised once again. Bonding before sex wasn’t the most common practice in modern times.

“So you’re really (Y/N)’s Alpha now?” Bucky asked.

The smile that took up the bottom half of Steve’s face was answer enough for them. He finished divvying out the rice, leaving the rest for his two friends. Grabbing water bottles and juice, Steve tucked the drinks under his arm and grabbed the bowls to head back to his room.

“If you two excuse me, I’ve got to go take care of my Omega.”

Bucky and Sam watched the man walk off with a pep in his step. Steve chuckled as he entered his room. You had turned onto your stomach— he could see your eyes were still closed— one hand blindly reaching around trying to find him. All your fingers were met with were empty sheets. You scrunched up the sheets before lifting your head, eyes still closed with a frown on your face. The clinking of bowls on the nightstand and the smell of stir-fry made you slowly open one eye. Both opened when you saw the food and Steve standing next to it.

“You cooked for me, Alpha?” you asked with a stretch and a groan.

Steve moved back on the bed and settled himself over you, using his arms to prop himself up. He pecked your lips once before going in for a deeper kiss. He could hear you call him by his presentation all day long. It was easy with Steve. Calling him by the presentation was like saying your own name, simple and rolling off the tongue with no problem. Getting off you, Steve let you sit up and handed you the fried rice.

He glanced up from his own bowl every now and then to look at you eating. Reaching out, Steve traced his thumb over your lower jaw. You looked up at him, batting eyelashes that made Steve want to pin you to the bed.

“I want to take you out tonight.”

“Steve, we don’t have to do anything special.”

“No, no I want to. In my day, that’s how we did it. Alphas always took an Omega on a date before we tried to claim them… we did it a little backwards but I still want to.”

“Okay. What do you want to do? We kind of ate already.”

You chuckled and Steve’s face tinged with red. He was doing everything in the wrong order. Even though it was just you, he was suddenly nervous— it was like meeting you for the first time all over again. He willed away the stray nerves and thought about how to take you out properly. Food was out of the question, so were arcades and laser tag— the Avengers got banned from most of them in the city on account of being too competitive. Movies were something the team did every night, not special enough.

“Meet me downstairs in ten minutes.”

“What are we doing? Steve?”

He wouldn’t answer. He simply got up and went to put on real clothes. You watched him for a moment. Steve was aware as he felt your eyes boring holes into his back. With a smirk, he flexed his muscles as he dug through the cabinets for a shirt. You pushed the comforter off of you and rushed to your room to change.

When you met Steve downstairs, he was leaning against his motorcycle with an extra helmet in his hand. He put it on, making sure it was secure. The motorcycle roared to life and was off without a hitch the minute Steve felt your arms wrapped around him. The drive was fast and quiet until you found yourself at the pier. Not many people were around. You took Steve’s hand in yours and the two of you began to walk around. As you turned down a path, you spotted a small sand volleyball pit— an abandoned ball right under the net.

“Want to play?”

You didn’t really give Steve a chance to say yes or no as you pulled him towards the net. Ever the gentleman, he let you serve first. Your laughs rang out as you and Steve dove for the ball, messed up serves, and tried to take out the other with way too aggressive spikes. He ducked quickly, incredulity all over his face, as he stared at the burnt ball behind him.

“I can’t believe you set it on fire!”

Your nose scrunched up in laughter. Steve ducked under the net and you started to run. You were no match for the supersoldier when he really tried. Effortlessly, Steve caught up to you and scooped you into his arms. You were spun around before being set down on the ground. Time stopped momentarily as the two of you looked at each other. You were both hyperaware of everything.

You could feel every tingle from where Steve’s fingers tapped against your waist. He could feel the weight of your hands locked around the back of his neck and the warmth of your breath as you breathed out to calm yourself. You were wondering if he could hear your heart pounding— he most definitely could. It wasn’t clear who bridged the gap first. But once you were on each other, it was a clash of lips and teeth. The only thing keeping you from tearing each other’s clothes off was the fact you were out in public. Steve gripped you tighter as you tried to pull his body closer despite the fact that you were flush against each other. When you pulled away to breathe, the air was silent but charged. Laughter broke the quiet along with a quick peck.

“Do you want to take this home?”

You couldn’t get to the motorcycle fast enough. The residential floor was surprisingly empty, not that you or Steve were complaining. Now, there was no one to ignore as you made your way to your floor with hushed giggles and heavy petting. He tried to open his room door as he had your body pressed against it, finally relenting in his touches to actually get it open.

Outer layers were shed quickly. You had seen Steve shirtless plenty of times, had even seen his boxers the few times he strolled into the kitchen without wearing any pants. But he had never seen you in underwear. Well, not lacy underwear— only the black sports bras and briefs when you had to shed your suit to get an injury fixed. He took his time and let his eyes roam your entire body. You got tired of him trying to savor the moment and practically launched yourself at him to bring his lips to yours.

The kiss became slower as you two got closer to the bed. Everything became slower. As Alphas, you and Steve had similar styles when it came to sex. With most people, it was fast and for relief. That wasn’t what either of you wanted, not in that moment. There would be plenty of times for that later. It was intimate, both of you determined to memorize every part of each other. You came down from your highs and stayed connected for a few minutes— Steve resting on top of you felt like a weighted blanket. He kissed the spot between your eyebrows before pulling out and rolling off of you. His hand brushed your fingers as you started to get up.

“You took care of me earlier, let me take care of you.”

He let you go get a towel from his bathroom. He went from a small side smile to a smirk as he watched you walk away with a little limp in your gait. The water for the tub started to run. Steve made himself useful and went to change the seats while you prepared the bath. After cleaning yourself up, you wiped down Steve and discarded the washcloth somewhere in the room. The water was filled a little too high, splashing over the sides when both of you settled in the tub.

“I want you to move in with me,” Steve said as he got out.

He grabbed the largest, fluffiest towel he owned— stolen from your linen closet— and wrapped you in it. Your faced was smothered in it as he dried you off. Steve laughed when your head popped up from under the fabric with your face scrunched up.

“What’s that face for?”

“I have the duplex suite.”

“Yeah, why is that?”

“Tony likes me better, Capsicle.”

Steve groaned at the name, barely tolerating when Tony called him that. You stuck your tongue out before your lips curled up into a devilish smile. You wrapped the towel tightly around you, tucking the ends in so it would stay up.

“I think we should have Fury change your name to Capsicle. Let’s go ask him.”

Before Steve could process, you were out the door. He had to grab a towel, giving you a headstart. He heard your feet scramble down the stairs. The team heard the laughter before they saw you. Everyone’s heads turned to see your towel get pulled back by Steve and you returned to his arms. The sight was sweet to them, especially you looking truly happy for the first time since they had learned about the dynamic change.

“We could have our own little apartment since we can’t just leave the tower if we take the duplex,” you whispered.  

“Doll. As long as you’re in my bed I don’t really care which room we’re in.”

Before you two could kiss again and put on a show for the team, the elevator dinged. No one would dare come up to the residential suites so late except for two people— Nick and Sharon. And those were the exact two people that entered. The tick of Sharon’s jaw wasn’t missed as she spotted you and Steve behind the couches in just your towels but she didn’t say anything.

“Sorry to interrupt the relaxation,” Nick said as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

“No you’re not,” Tony said which earned him an elbow to the rib by Nat.

“Anyway, you all have a mission. It’s going to take all night to get there. You guys leave now. Hill is loading the quinjet with coordinates, meet her in five at the helipad. And if (Y/L/N) and Captain Rogers want to find some clothes, that would be be appreciated.”

He turned and exited without another word. Sharon dropped the files on the table and waited on the couch while the team left to go change.

(Part 9)...

[soysaucevictim]

“it feels like my brain (was floating in a fishtank)”

(See warnings/summary on Ao3.)

[ Prologue/Start ] [ Previous ]

Chapter 5: Connoisseur of Hallucinations

Roman had wanted to ask why Remus was hitchhiking again, but didn’t want to worry their parents even more. They worried anyways- making all sorts of speculation on why Remus was in that crash, in that particular car. The police were unhelpfully vague about an ongoing investigation and too busy to give them much more than that. His parents would ask in hushed tones, “Was this a kidnapping attempt?”

The only thing tempering their worry was the fact Remus seemed to be safe and accounted for, just grateful it wasn’t otherwise.

Roman wasn’t sure if that was the case, it didn’t seem to be. Remus always got back home, without anything amiss, before. He hated that he wasn’t there to protect his brother, not that he knew how he could if he wanted.

So, Roman went alone to the beach.

He paced up and down along the tide, at his brother’s favorite spot. There was nothing amiss, besides the missing sibling’s antics. It was always here whenever he had last contact, before he learned that Remus had been hitchhiking to who knew where.

He went a little further out to see a condo complex poking out into the sands.

He hid behind some rocks when he noticed someone leaving it, dragging something with them toward the ocean. The moon was almost new, so it was too dark for him to make out the details.

Roman carefully got closer to see what was being dragged – a vaguely familiar body.

Closer. Roman’s breath hitched when he barely recognized her from the Anchor Management story. 

The person dragging her seemed to melt into the ocean, pulling her into the tide. Roman dispensed stealth to run out to them.

Mid-pursuit, he realized she didn’t have the “smell” of life. He shook his head thinking about how he could sense when Steve died, a complete void of emotions opening up where he used to stand. Unlike someone simply sleeping, nothing for him or his brother to Feast on anymore.

When he got there, all that seemed to be left behind was a plume of darkness in the water.

Then, he noticed some bones as it cleared up.

Human. Bones. Not a whole body’s worth, but what remained was almost picked clean.

Roman shuddered, unable to read who or what did this. He was too focused on the woman to be sure, but it clearly wasn’t human. He felt a pit in his stomach grow.

He ran again, before whatever it was could have a chance to catch him.

-

Before long, Remus would be discharged from the hospital.

Carrie was about to go pick him up, when Vee cleared his throat behind her.

She was getting used to his presence, no matter how much he tried to intimidate her. She was taking that as an opportunity to tamp down the loudness of the Bright Dream’s suggestions. To try to get used to it and maintain her sense of discipline. To not let the Hero’s Call drive her to the same madness that Steve delighted in.

Resisting it during her day-to-day activities felt like when she once had to get a badly impacted wisdom tooth removed, it wasn’t even remotely an easy task. She was glad that the few Beasts that worked at the hangar didn’t share the same shift as her, for everyone’s sake.

Her nightmares about her family being in danger recently got more graphic. The images of what she should do to the next Beast she laid eyes on, regardless of whether they were hurting anyone else, followed suit. When she killed Rich, it was a brief reprieve from the Dream’s demands. It sickened her, yet there had been times she just wanted the quiet back, even if it meant...

She dreaded to ever bring any of that up anywhere near Janus’s brood – she would never forgive herself if she harmed her sons or this strange new family she was a part of.

When it got particularly bad, Patton would just pop up and ask to hug her. Vee definitely took notice.

She glanced back at Vee, “Yes, dear?”

Vee slumped a little, “Before. Before Remus wound up in the hospital. I was about to tell you something.”

“I copy.”

“I wanted to tell you… my name.”

Carrie remembered something Vic told her about names, “No pressure. If you don’t want to-”

He winced before outright saying, “My-name-is-Virgil!”

Carrie softened, “That’s a lovely name.”

Virgil seemed uncomfortable, as he looked away, “Y-yeah. Anyways, you should go get Remus. I can only imagine how squirrely the guy’s been over there.”

“Thank you for trusting me. I’ve been told he only horrified three nurses so far today.”

Virgil rubbed the back of his neck, smiling a little bit, "Well, that's down from the entire ward, yesterday."

Carrie couldn’t help but laugh, “Thank you, I really needed that.”

“Uh, no problem. Y-you can tell the rest of your family, too. If you want to. I guess.”

Carrie nodded before heading off, back to worrying about Remus.

-

It was clear to everyone that Remus was still dealing with the after effects of the car crash.

He had pretty frequent tension headaches. The sort of insomnia he had growing up with constant nightmares, seemed to come back with a vengeance. Said nightmares never came back since he was Devoured, nor would they ever, as Beasts. No, he just had this restlessness over what he just couldn’t remember. It irritated him, he felt it was too important to forget.

All mouths, no eyes, nothing clearer than that.

The dizziness was waning, at least.

His parents were worried about him, telling him he shouldn’t strain his mind so hard. He was still recovering, after all. It was okay to not know, but everyone overlooked that that was just not how Remus operated. And it would have been kind of hypocritical, they too still wanted answers.

His brother stared at him more and more skeptical about what he had been doing lately. He would say nothing of substance, and it only frustrated Remus more. 

All he knew was Cass saved him and he was grateful enough to not break his promise with them. He worried if they would be pushed away, if he told the brood about Cass.

He wasn’t even sure, in that state, who would hurt worse to be pushed aside by.

On one of the better days, he chose not to go to the Beach, that would be too conspicuous and energy-demanding. Instead, he opened a portal in the huge pool Janus had on their property.

-

As he floated in the central chamber, he meditated on the growing garden of trash inside. It was filled with symbolic trophies from all his haunts. Melted oven knobs, broken piles of china, a torn down basketball hoop, car tires, a yacht porthole...

There he could just be himself. The great kraken, always craving to send more ships to the briny depths. He “breathed” in a slow and rhythmic manner – feeling the cool water run past his gills. It was simpler being a monster than a human, at least, that’s what he thought. That’s what it thought.

He thought about how often other kids would tease him and call him an “it”, growing up. The first few times, maybe it hurt, but then he made that easy for them. He quickly embraced that its strangeness was always there. He wasn’t just another boy, it was something else. He wondered about bringing that up to his family.

It would think about that more, settling in for a moment more of relaxation.

The peace was disrupted when he felt a strange new presence in his Lair. It made him shiver, despite his resistance to the cold.

Yet, when he tried to look for it, the presence seemed to evaporate.

He didn’t have the energy to keep scouring the place, even though it still had him unnerved.

He eventually returned to the “real” world.

-

“H-hey. Ms. Janus?”

They smiled down at him, “Yes, little dragon?”

“I need some help.”

“Go on.”

“You seem to know a lot about a lot of things. Do you have any, um, suggestions for where I can go Feed next? I-I need a change of pace.”

“Oh? Well, hmmm…”, they took a moment rubbing their chin in thought.

The two of them were in Janus’s personal study and Roman watched them walk over to their desk. They pulled a rather large ring of keys out of thin air and unlocked something in one of its drawers.

From within, they took out a small notebook and leafed through it.

Roman fidgeted, “What’s that?”

They were glib, “Secrets. The things people hide. Small indignities, delectable snacks. Completely life-ruining sins, veritable five-course meals. All fair game.”

Roman mumbled to himself, “And here I thought all of that slimy snake stuff was just a coincidence…”

Janus stopped looking through their book to stare at Roman a moment and broke into an exaggerated display of laughter, clearly hearing that. They wiped a nonexistent tear away and spoke, “And I have absolutely never heard that one before!”

Roman was growing impatient, “Will you help me or not?”

Janus looked through the book some more, “Ah. If you’re feeling adventurous, there is a certain powerful individual who LOVES to pretend he’s a noble, upstanding citizen. Claims to be one of those loyal sheep dogs chasing after society’s wolves.”

“… and he’s not?”

“I have some sources saying if someone could do some sniffing around the abode he totally honestly earned... I can find some more wool with blood all over it. So, I was wondering if that someone could be you? Oh, and I do have something that might sweeten the deal, too.”

Roman felt far less ashamed when he targeted people he thought deserved it. He still didn’t regret robbing Steve or those scalpers, after all. “Go on.”

“He loves to take his daughter to Disneyland, practically every other week! The place regularly keeps a spot in the Fairy Tale Suite on reserve, just for that trust fund brat. Of course they wouldn’t leave without a few souvenirs from it all. Don’t you agree, little dragon?”

He never responded to a question so fast, “Alright, spill.”

-

Remus was sitting by Janus’s pool again. He wanted to see Cass, too. He thought about what Roman said, about how Roman wound up in the marketplace through the Dream.

Remus was tempted to see if he could just go to that Yacht Club, that way. He felt like he probably could, given how deeply he felt the ripples he made.

He was chuckling at the thought of just showing up there for a sequel, when he heard someone clear their throat behind him. He looked back, to see Virgil lounging in the more shaded spot of the patio. “What do you want?”

Virgil nervously rubbed the back of his neck, “I guess I just wanted to… check on you.”

Remus twisted around a little too extreme for a normal person, and rolled his eyes at the guy, “Since when did you care? While it was funny, at first, especially with Robro… did you seriously think harassing my family was gonna win you any favors?”

Virgil looked down for a moment and then said, “I deserved that.”

Remus sighed and then laughed, “Honestly? I don’t know how I’m feeling. Always been bad about that shit, unlike sniffing out other people’s emotions. Still can’t fucking remember what happened and it’s driving me a little crazy over here! Well- more than usual.”

“Do you want help in remembering it?”

“What, you’re gonna reach into my brain and ask it nicely? ‘Cause I’ve tried that… I think.”

“I was gonna say, Janus has connections. They have ways of figuring this sort of stuff out. And, well, there was a lot of shit that didn’t add up about that accident...”

Remus’s breath hitched without thinking, he didn’t want them to know about Cass. He coughed it off and answered, “I’ll figure it out. Don’t worry about me.”

“That’s not how I operate, newbie.”

Remus had a bit of trouble doing it, but he managed to produce some tentacles to splash water at Virgil for that one.

Too bad Virgil had such impressive reflexes, Remus only managed to get some of his arm wet from it. Remus wanted to see him look like a miserable wet cat, but he filed that urge away for later.

Virgil flipped Remus the bird for that, earning a cackle, “Oh, you’re a fun one!”

“L-look! I’m just trying to-!”

“Hmmm?”

“N-Never mind. You can just go do whatever it is you're gonna do. I-I gotta go.”

Remus blinked, confused, when Virgil disappeared in the nearest shadow again.

-

Vic kept thinking about those symbols that floated around that assistant he healed, when he Awakened. He needed to learn how to do that again. If his children, his family, were ever in danger again, he needed to be able to help mend them. There could be another time where taking them to the hospital was not an option.

When he attempted to meditate on those words in particular, they escaped him. Yet others were far more accessible. They really did help him at work, all told.

When the aviary had to take in a nest of rescued terns a citizen scientist noticed it was abandoned for a dangerous amount of time. Neither parent came to warm and feed them and they weren’t yet able to fly. At least one chick was found dead nearby, it was brought along for forensics. But it wasn’t clear how well off its siblings were.

On intake, he saw symbols flitted around them. They pulled words out of his mouth, “Conocimiento…”

His heart skipped a beat as he instantly figured that these were California Least Terns, it was good they were found. Without sexing them, he just knew both were males.

He blinked and stared at the precious things. Another word, “Revelando…”

There was no one at the nest preening these poor things and he knew they had bird lice before looking closely at them. A coworker caught him speedily able to fill out their charts and treatment plans, he was always pretty good at this stuff. But if that colleague’s face was anything to go by – this was unnaturally fast. It did help in getting these things quickly on the path of recovery.

Vic also wondered if this magic was the well he had been drawing from, throughout his career. 

Vic was patient when it came to everyone he cared about, but not with himself. He needed to pick Ellis’s brain some more.

-

In a few weeks after his discharge, Remus eventually felt well enough to go down to his favorite stomping grounds at Huntington Beach. Cass seemed to find the best haunts and he kind of wanted to go back to the marina with them for round two.

He found himself wanting to make even bigger waves, he was so hungry at that point. However, it came with the restless tension of not wanting to overdo it. He felt so much less like himself, so sluggish in his Lair that he might forget to leave at all.

He sat at the shore again, trying to soothe himself and think more clearly.

As hoped, Cass was soon by his side. They were a bit out of breath, dashing up toward him, “Hello there! I-I do apologize for that uh, accident we found ourselves in. Are you okay?”

“Probably just a concussion, wait. Am I okay? Are you? I heard-!”

“Sh-shhh, don’t worry about me. See? Everything’s alright.”

Remus inspected Cass and it really was as if the accident never happened to them. That was, except for some very old scars on Cass’s palms, he’d just noticed. He snorted, lightly speculating about stigmata, there.

Remus took a breath, “I want to sink more boats, Cass. And I- I have an idea of how to keep my Horror from getting too sleepy again.”

Cass gave him an encouraging smile, as he elaborated, “I’ve… made horrorspawn before. Once.”

Cass’s face lit up at that, it was almost endearing. “Fascinating! Care to tell me more?”

He had since allowed Jude to merge back into his Horror. He wanted to make more like it, he wanted to nurture them and unleash them into the world. It was an almost instinctive feeling, like his very Hunger was. He was told over and over how natural it was to want to reproduce with other humans and experience those weird feelings of attraction in others. An instinct pretty much all humans and animals were supposed to have. He never felt that before, but making spawn were the closest moments he came to that sensation.

It didn’t really feel like a father in those moments nor a mother. It was just Remus wholly embracing its capabilities. It supposed that Roman not feeling the same way about it didn’t help its feelings of isolation. It also liked Janus, but they were often just so preoccupied. It still wasn’t sure about Virgil, even though Patton had charmed it more than it ever expected. Ellis and its dad were busy in an entirely different realm of existence. Its mom, well...

Remus groaned, “I-I want to make more.”

He knew the spawn would never be another proper Beast, Janus told him as much. But he was okay with that. They had a simplicity in what drove them he envied sometimes. They didn’t have to care about anything else.

“Well. I’m not sure when I’ll get a chance to, it was… a pretty desperate situation. I’d need to find some people to incubate them. And I’d need to know how to make their very souls shake open.”

Cass smiled at him in that same creepy way he and Roman tended to do without thinking, “Oh, I can help with that.”

“Really?”

Cass nodded and Remus followed them toward their brand new truck. They were so completely unfazed by the crash and didn’t remark on the replacement.

The way they moved was so purposeful and fluid. Remus was awestruck by them and their power. Awestruck and something else he couldn’t quite place. Maybe it was all scrambled, still. It had only been a couple weeks since he was discharged.

“Where are we going?”

“Just an ordinary little hotel. I’d like to introduce you to a few friends there!”

“Why?”

“A place where I may…”

“ … sojourn in Thy tent to the ages, I trust in the secret place of Thy wings.”

“What?”

“I don’t want to ruin the surprise, now do I?”

-

“Ah, you’re beginning to grasp the Tapestry with your Sight. I can work with that.”

Vic was back in Ellis’s study, somewhat confused. “I- what.”

“Do you remember when I said ‘my spheres aren’t connected with yours’?”

“Vaguely?”

“In the simplest of terms – you are known as a ‘Shaman’ and I’m a ‘Necromancer’.”

Vic whipped his head so fast at that, “W-wait. You can like. Raise the dead!?”

“Technically speaking. But really, those titles are… generalizations. We found different paths in our awakenings and thus made us attuned to different spheres of magic. Based on everything you’ve told me – your arenas are Life and Spirit. Mine are Death and Matter. In all honesty, I have greater mastery of the Matter side of that coin.”

Vic sat there blinking, absorbing it, “Can you show me?”

“Alright…”, Ellis dropped into an intense focus and muttered unintelligible things under his breath.

Vic saw energy gathering around Ellis’s hands and more symbols he had no ability to understand shimmering around them. The colors in the room shifted strangely – the dark blue stripes in Ellis’s tie were then a bright orange. The clothes around Vic suddenly stiffened and he couldn’t move. Not that he wanted to with all the mesmerizing effects of his young teacher’s magic.

Vic asked, “W-what’s happening right now?”

As he spoke, his voice sounded like a chipmunk, like he sucked in a party balloon, and he was getting a little lightheaded. And just like that, Ellis dropped the spell and Vic could breath. He still had more of the wrong air in his lungs, so his voice was still high, “Did you just-?”

“I turned some of the nitrogen in the air around you into helium. Yes.”

Vic took a few forceful breaths to get more oxygen in him, “That. Was. Terrifying.”

Ellis flinched a moment.

Vic quickly and excitedly added, “Can you teach me more?!”

Before Ellis could answer that, Vic suddenly recognized some of the tattoos on Ellis, “Wait. Is that The Flamel?”

Ellis flushed, reflexively covering the tattoo on his hand with his other, “Perhaps. Look. I can’t be blamed for seeking inspiration from stories about alchemy. And the narrative was really quite engaging.”

Ellis cleared his throat to change the subject, “As I said, there may be some limitations in my abilities to give you focused study. For one, Spirit is one of those spheres that simply doesn’t come easily to necromancers – I wouldn’t be able to instruct you in that area very well at all.”

“So what am I supposed to be bad at, then?”

Ellis laughed nervously, “From what I’ve read, it’s Mind magic. Admittedly ironic to me, given what your children are.”

“Huh?”

“Not my area of expertise but I know of some warlock colleagues that have had quite a few dalliances into the Primordial Dream to study Beasts like your sons. The realm they awaken in puts them quite cosmologically close to each other, actually.”

“Huh.”

“It certainly explains a lot about you and your temperament. Shamans tend to be very… emotional and impulsive.”

Vic spoke with a great deal of affront, “HEY.”

Ellis laughed a little more heartily at that reaction, “I get the feeling you will be quite the entertaining pupil. And who knows, I may learn a lot from you in return?”

-

This time, there wasn’t any incident in reaching their destination.

Remus and Cass were at some hole in the wall two-star hotel, in the very southwest corner of Santa Ana. The fuzzy zone where it bordered Huntington and Newport. Two floors, one long L-shaped building, all the expected features. The cheap looking painted stucco riddled with cracks and flaking. The signboard outside had yellowed over the years, with letters “No Vacancy” hanging onto it for dear life. It almost looked abandoned, if not for the flickering lights and the tiny pool still having water in it.

There were other cars parked in the lot, some Remus recognized, but it wasn’t packed either. Cass parked next to them and told him, “Wait here, I need to let our friends know we’re here.”

Remus fidgeted as he watched Cass take a couple suitcases out of the truck bed with them toward the lobby entrance. Remus wasn’t usually the kind to follow orders, but something compelled Remus to want to with Cass.

Cass seemed to take their sweet time in there and Remus was getting restless. The black paint job on this truck certainly didn’t help Remus’s comfort levels. He was tempted to step out to see whether that pool was at all well maintained, he had expectations that it would look disgusting.

Even though the sun was going down, Remus was feeling like he was baking in there. He thought about those pet PSAs about not leaving them in hot cars with the windows rolled up. Just as he reached the door handle, he saw Cass show up and they were dressed differently.

The new cassock they wore was something Remus didn’t recognize in his brief stints of going to church as a child. It was the color of full-bodied red wine. There was intricate, green and black embroidery at the hems: grape leaves entwined by vines, tentacles, and other strange symbols. His favorite eye-searing toxic shade of green.

“¿Estás listo, mi dulce sepia? ”

“W-what did you just call me?”

They acted as if they hadn’t said anything at all, “Whatever do you mean, Remus? Come along.”

“O-Okay, then.”

The two of them filed into the lobby of the place and were greeted by a small group of people – Remus was surprised by the familiar faces. One of them was Edsel, from the car dealership. Another was one of the scalpers, Tim. He vaguely remembered a couple people from the yacht party. And one of his teachers from high school?

Remus blinked at them all and looked back at Cass, confused, “Why are they here?”

Edsel looked at Cass and smiled at Remus, with a hazy expression, “Look! The Herald and the Sign are here!”

Remus was even more confused, noticing everyone there kind of had that distant look to them, everyone except for Cass, “Are these guys on something?”

Cass ignored the question to address the others, “Pledges! You’ve each personally borne witness to the Sign’s work, have you not?”

They nodded with a shared look of fear and delight that was already starting to stir something in Remus. “Are you certainly ready to...”

“Put to death the earthly parts of your nature — sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed (which is a form of idolatry)?”

It felt like they were resonating with different parts of his very soul, connected. He was feeling the phantom sensations of remembering a good meal. It was weird, how they didn’t run away from him, knowing how much he’d already disrupted their lives.

Weird, but Remus was too busy soaking in it to think it was a bad thing.

Cass continued, “The work is not finished! The Sign requires more to fulfill their Promise to the World. More tests will come for you! Prepare yourselves!”

Remus was confused, but Cass ushered him into the nearby office room and locked the door behind them. Cass noticed Remus getting squirmy, “You are free to do as you please with them. All I ask is that you let me help you. Help you reach and truly understand your potential. I’m the only one who can.”

Cass gently placed both their hands on his shoulders, their stare stilled him again.

“You can?”

“Yes. Everyone else just wants to limit you. My only desire is to allow you to flourish. Truly.”

Remus felt himself salivate and flush, looking past the office door. His thoughts started sharpening as he opened the door. His eyes flickered with that faint green glow, singling out Edsel and Tim in front of him.

Cass said something about them being chosen to receive visions. Remus was too busy reaching into the fractures he left behind to understand what they were talking about.

-

Like Steve before, Remus showed them who it really was, an imposing monstrosity destroying everything they could ever cherish. As they screamed at the visage that invaded their minds, they screamed for mercy, in graciousness, in clarity. Before it could allow its Horror to fully digest this deliciously complex meal, it scattered fragments of itself inside their minds.

-

Remus grinned wildly, overcome with the weight of the new additions beginning to form inside its Lair. It was excited to run inside to tend to them immediately and it wanted to run out to that pool outside to do just that.

He was stopped by Cass with a simple request, “May I see it?”

-

Feel free to ask to be on a tag list, if you wish!

(I’ll probably tag every other cross-post.)

-

[ Next ]

[darkdarkstucky]

Warnings: DDLG/MDLG dynamics, Fluff, mentions of violence!

*Y/N sending their daddy/mommy pictures of her with her favorite stuffie with a short message; cuddle when you get home dada/mama?🥺 Miss you lots!!*

Steve:

Steve slumps on the swivel chair letting his tense muscles relax after a gruelling mission, he barely registers Tony's ramble during the debriefing when he fishes for his phone in his pocket.

A smile crept it's way to his lips as he opens your message, cooing at your adorable little expressions feeling his heart alight immediately.

As soon as they were free to go, he bolts towards the elevator to get to your shared floor. He sees you huddled in the sofa, blankets and assortments of stuff toys littered everywhere.

Muttering mindless little babbles to yourself, you didn't hear his footsteps as they neared you, focused on the picture you were drawing.

Soon after though, you were shrieking in delight as his fingers probed your sides filling the living room with giggles, “Daddy!” you managed to splutter inbetween laughter while trying to squirm away from his nimble fingers that were making a quick work of you. “S-stop! Dada!” your little whines inbetween strangled breaths made him grin wider.

Steve only stops when you managed to wrap your legs around his waist, chuckling when you buried your face in his chest adorably. “Missed you daddy.” he wraps his big muscly arms around you, rocking your little body.

“I missed you too, princess.” He murmured in your hair, inhaling your sweet scent.

The rest of the afternoon were spent cuddling and watching cartoons, he made sure to praise you for being well behaved, murmuring “good girl.” every now and then as you recount how your day went without your daddy by your side.

And as he watch you fall into a peaceful sleep, long eyelashes fluttering ever so lightly, chest rising and falling softly, looking so pretty and innocent; he sighs deeply and hugs you a little bit tighter because he marvels. How lucky was he to have you in his arms? His world. His little babydoll. His princess.

Steve nuzzles his nose against your neck and was lulled into sleep with you.

Bucky:

Battered and bruised after a particularly rough mission in Syberia, Bucky along with Natasha and Clint finally made their way to the Quinjet after successfully eradicating the Hydra base and everyone that was left of the terrorist organization.

It has been roughly around two weeks since he last saw you, and when he finally managed to get ahold of his phone, he scrolls through dozens upon dozens of messages from you, each varying in urgency as you ramble about your plight for when; your boss was being an ass, getting coffee with co-workers and the usual updates about your day, never forgetting to tell him how much you love him and miss him.

He absolutely loves recieving your cute messages no matter how insignificant you may think them to be, it gives him the energy to deal with just about anything that life throws his way, and bless those poor villains because he will make sure they are past tense to be able to come home to you.

Bucky saves the pictures you sent him, and it became his new homescreen and lockscreen. You were too damn adorable.

Nat and Clint snickers silently mouthing a chorus of ‘whipped’ because c'mon, his muscles are too tired to fight off the wide grin as he scrolls in his smartphone.

As soon as the Quinjet landed, you were patiently waiting in your white sundress with pretty little ribbons in your long hair, he ran down the steps and engulfed you into the biggest bear hug making you squeal in delight.

“Daddy!” you yelp for when he throws you over his shoulder like a brute, making sure to pat down the edge of your dress though as to make sure your little tush is covered from the prying eyes of the rest of the team.

The wolf whistles and the teasing shouts from the rest of the avengers followed you to the elevator making you blush; not just from hanging upside down on your daddy's pretty back, head almost touching his butt. Though it was a sweet view.

He throws you to the bed and cuddles you just as promised, “I've missed you so much dollface.” He murmurs to your flushed skin.

“I missed you more daddy.” you hum and squeeze yourself further into his side, wishing to stay in his embrace for a very long time.

Wanda & Pietro:

You were barely left alone by your caregivers; they only accept missions with one or the other left behind so there was someone to look after you or simply spend the day with you.

But when a particularly violent alien attacked someplace in Europe, SHIELD demanded all hands on deck to be able to swiftly shut down the foreign threat as soon as possible.

They hated the fact that they had to leave you alone, and the Maximoff twins don't take your tears and wails particularly well, prompting a whirlwind of overly sensitive superhuman's, which stands to reason; a dangerous combination to cross. Because no one, not even ugly three eyed monsters with telepathic abilities would stand in their way from coddling their sweet girl.

The jet was silent on their way home, ashes and bruises covering the team yet the brooding twins remained tense.

It was until FRIDAY passed the message, your face appearing in the screen that their expressions finally lightened.

“Printsessa,” Pietro fondly traces your face on the screen, chest tightening with so much love knowing that you're putting on a brave face for them.

Whereas Wanda couldn't take her gaze away from your face even for a few seconds, wishing more than anything that she was right by your side and pressing butterfly kisses to your pretty face, she'd much rather be basking in your giggles and your warmth.

The world was a cruel place, that much they were certain. But they were willing to do anything to keep you, the singular joy of their lives safe and happy.

***

[A/N; first time writing headcannons or smthing of this theme! please ignore errors and mispellings; english is not my first language :) mucho loveeee!!]

[floralcyanide]

amygdala || scream

chapter one

amygdala: "a roughly almond-shaped mass of gray matter inside each cerebral hemisphere, involved with the experiencing of emotions, most notably fear." 

in which the reader knows something they shouldn't about their two best friends.

story masterlist

 >>  hello hello! this is my first time writing slasher fic so please be nice lmao <3 anyway I’m enjoying writing this multi-part fanfic and I hope everyone enjoys reading it. chapter one is below the cut (: please give feedback, any is appreciated.

pairing: billy loomis x reader, stu macher x reader

warnings: some language, descriptions of violence, mentions of blood.

word count: 993 (she’s short, I know)

this fic has been cross posted to ao3.

ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ, ʀᴇᴘʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴄʟᴀɪᴍ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀs ᴏɴ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ, ᴀᴏ3, ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ, ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴡᴇʙsɪᴛᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪssɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ɪɴ ᴀɪ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛᴏʀs ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀʀᴛɪғɪᴄɪᴀʟ ɪɴᴛᴇʟʟɪɢᴇɴᴄᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ᴛᴏ sᴇʟʟ ғᴏʀ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴏɴ.

     You can hear your pulse in your ears, your heart is pumping blood at a rapid pace. Blood. Blood everywhere. All you can recall is blood. You grip the steering wheel as the gruesome scene you witnessed plays in your head over and over. Trying to focus on the yellow and white lines on the road in front of you, you begin chewing the skin off of your lips in a nervous frenzy. What the fuck did you just see? You know but don't want to accept it. The things you just experienced would send any normal person spiraling, but this situation isn't normal. The culprits are two of the closest people in your life. Your two best friends, Billy and Stu, just tortured and gutted Casey Becker. A part of you thinks you could be grasping at straws, but the mask peeking at you from Stu's trunk as Billy was about to shut it, was unmissable.

     By the time you get home, your eyes and arms are weak from gripping the steering wheel and focusing on the road, trying to push away every other thought. You quietly unlock the door to the apartment you share with your mother. Judging by the silent darkness, she's already asleep, so you can wallow in your room without being questioned. Toeing off your shoes at the door, you make your way to your bedroom. Not feeling like doing anything else except laying down, you just climb into bed without bothering with your clothes. Your eyes focus on the posters on your wall straight ahead, your mind unable to slow down. You were at Casey's to study for your English project the two of you were working on but left to go to the store down the street for snacks. In just the short period that you were gone, Casey was violently slain and hung from the tree in her yard. Maybe if you had stayed, she'd still be alive. But maybe if you had stayed... you'd be dead too. Laying on top of your comforter and pillows, your ears ring from the white noise of your silent apartment as you stare into space all night. You swear you don't blink until your alarm goes off for you to wake up for school.

                                            ---

     The news breaks the next morning, and the whole school is buzzing. You had no idea her boyfriend Steve had stopped by, which makes you feel guiltier that he died too instead of you. You're still internally battling whether you should've stayed there or left as you did. Skipping class altogether sounds nice right now. Maybe you could take one of your mother's sleeping pills and actually sleep without seeing Casey's mutilated body behind your eyelids. But before you can turn on your heel, you feel arms wrap around your shoulders from behind. You nearly jump out of your skin before turning around to see Stu with Tatum behind him. Stu removes his arms from your shoulders. Your bewildered expression doesn't disappear at the sight of him though,  especially when you know what you know.

     "What's wrong, (Y/N)? You look like you've seen a ghost!" Stu jokes, Tatum smacking his bicep immediately.

     "Leave them be," Tatum says pointedly.

     "Oh, it's nothing, I'm just a little shaken up is all," you give them a sheepish smile, darting your eyes from their gazes to the ground.

     "Weren't you friends with Casey?" Randy pops up behind you, and you actually do jump this time.

     "Fuck, Randy!" You grit your teeth as you turn to him, your hand over your racing heart, "No, not really, we were just partners in English."

     "Have the police questioned you yet?" Randy asks, and Stu huffs behind you.

     "Why would they need to question me specifically?" You ask, quirking an eyebrow and crossing your arms over your chest defensively.

     You know why. But you don't want anyone, especially Billy and Stu, to know you were there last night.

     "You had seen her before she died, right? Weren't you going over to her house for the project this week?" Randy questions, standing uncomfortably close to you now. You hold your breath. Did he really have to mention that?

     "Yes, we were. I'm sure my time will come with the police questioning everyone. Now," you shoot Randy a closed-lip smile, shoving past him and walking back towards the school entrance, "if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna be late for homeroom."

     Not paying attention to where you're going, you accidentally back up into Billy's chest. Turning around quickly to apologize to whomever you walked into, you bite your tongue in realization and a little bit of fear. You mumble a greeting and an apology before walking as fast as possible to homeroom.

                                            ---

     Class is unbearable. All you do all day is doodle in your notebook and try to imagine anything else than Casey. You're exhausted and starving, but have no appetite and haven't slept for shit. Everyone notices this at lunch when you hardly say a word, trying to hide your bloodshot eyes and a loudly rumbling stomach.

     "I know this is a silly question but are you okay, (Y/N)? Don't mind me asking, but did something happen between the three of you?" Sidney gently asks.

     You glance up at the two boys sitting in front of you. Stu was stirring up the rest of the group with a joke meanwhile Billy sat there acting like he wasn't studying you moments before.

     You decided to sit between Tatum and Sidney instead of Stu and Billy. It was uncomfortable just being around them, knowing what they had done. They were your best friends and the three of you were inseparable.

     "I could be better, but no, nothing happened. I'm just gonna be weird for a while," You frown, picking at a loose string on your jacket. You feel Billy's gaze on you.

     In a normal situation, you would've run to Billy and Stu for comfort and safety. But again, this is anything but a normal situation