i do not want to dig a hole but i am too much of a laura bailey pc enjoyer to not make this post so:
selfishness ≠ a lack of kindness
selfishness is a theme that has come up with all of laura's main campaign pcs. that doesn't mean that her characters are always making selfish choices or that they don't care about the rest of the people they're with or that they're not good. it's just that, for the most part, the first thing they're thinking of when they take action or make choices is themselves.
in jester and vex both it is more typical and obvious selfishness. vex's developed because she needed it to keep herself and vax alive and as safe as possible and it grew into a behaviour that she had to actively work to avoid. it's evident in her greed, her theft of the broom, her reaction to her own death which relied heavily on i'm okay/i survived to which keyleth reminded her that she wasn't the only one who had to witness and reckon with her death. in jester's case, she grew up in an environment that literally trained her to make every decision based on two things - her mother's opinion and her own. so, when she's out in the world without marion for the first time, her choices are those that will benefit her and her actions are those that consider her own thoughts and not really many others' (aside from the traveler's).
it isn't a criticism of either vex or jester to say that they are characters who act selfishly. in fact, i'd argue that to claim otherwise does a great disservice to exactly how immense both of their character arcs are. because the nuance of both jester and vex is that they are selfish, and they also hold extreme room for self-sacrifice and empathy. vex is much more brash than jester is, and jester is much more trusting than vex, but both of them are characters who begin with selfish impulses who grow with them. neither ever truly shed those impulses, but they use them in new ways, typically transforming them into impulses towards things that are in the best interest of the party.
you may have noticed the lack of imogen in this post about laura bailey pcs and that's because of two reasons. one, we are an unknown amount of time into her story, i can't analyse her development the same way i can vex and jester's. two, imogen's selfishness isn't the blatant quasi-self-aware selfishness that we see in things like jester complaining about her lack of money to caleb or vex stealing a broom. instead, imogen's is very internal, like a lot of laura's character work with imogen. it is a bit similar to jester’s in the sense that it comes from a lack of awareness moreso than vex’s practiced behaviour, but imogen’s is a lot more tied to inherent beliefs she has about the world and the people in it.
as a consequence of her powers, imogen sees people's thoughts as their entirety, she holds it above their actions to be the truth of who they are - to act against what they think or to say something that doesn’t cohere with what they’ve thought is akin to lying, so for her to act empathetically is to act in tandem with what someone else’s thoughts are, not how they act, which is typically not all that wanted. the same as vex’s greed and jester’s naivety, this is a trait that makes narrative sense and it’s one i find quite compelling, especially when read in the vein of someone struggling through trauma that has made them assume that the world is against them. imogen’s cynicism is coherent cynicism, i can’t say that in a similar situation i wouldn’t have the same predisposition towards the world.
the part that is particularly self-interested comes in if you look at how imogen has actually been treated in the campaign (quite well) in comparison to the cynicism that she’s developed from her past (something that speaks to a world out to get her). certainly, a bunch of shitty things have happened to imogen in the time we’ve known her, but the same can be said for everyone in bell’s hells and pretty much everyone in exandria at this point in time. but, in a fight to save the aforementioned world, imogen’s focus was getting her mother back on her side. which, while very consistent with her character and a choice that i enjoy, is a very selfish one. the fun thing (to me, obviously) about imogen is that she has, more than most, an insight into the opinions of others and she also tends to seek others’ opinions out and genuinely engages with them and supports their choices. but she still very much acts towards what she thinks is best. it’s one reason i enjoy looking at the dynamic between her and orym as one between foils, as orym tends to be stalwart in his beliefs and doesn’t care too much for other’s opinions if he’s already sure of his own, but his actions tend to favour collaboration and protecting others.
as i mentioned earlier, imogen is a harder case to look at because she is still in the process of her story. however, the circlet is clearly influencing how she interacts with the world and in the wake of the solstice, the hostile reaction towards ruidusborn people has started to become more and more apparent and i’m interested to see what route that ends up leading imogen down and how it will influence her relationship with the rest of bell’s hells. (for better, i think, based on recent conversations, but if it's for worse i will be just as seated and excited).
all of this is just to say, please stop assuming that claiming a character has a trait you think is a bad one is criticism or a hate post. in light of the fact that i know that people who don’t believe this will continue to not believe this, i’ll encourage anyone confused about the ability of a character to be good and kind and selfish all at once to look to what the text itself says, specifically scanlan’s words to pelor when asked what vex means to him:
“Her name is Vex, and she is greedy and mean sometimes, and she can steal a lot. She’s a little bit not the greatest person, but her flaws highlight everything that is right about her, which is she does all these things to protect her friends and her family. She would give her life for any of us and for anyone who was truly in need. And she’s not perfect but she’s the most perfect of all of us.”
would you look at that... an ability to be a multitude of things, some in conflict with one another. i know that's hard for fandoms to believe, especially about female characters with agency, but i promise its true!
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Chapter 8 of TPiaG: Body Swap AU
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@sincerely-sofie I think this is my favorite chapter I've written so far!
Twig is unconscious
Darkrai couldn't sleep.
As ironic as that sentence is, it's nonetheless true.
He'd long since gotten used to the needs that Twig's body demands for. And he would be lying if he didn't say he, to some extent, enjoyed being able to fall asleep.
But for the last week, he couldn't fall sleep for the life of him.
He tossed and turned in his bed, trying every position he could think of.
He attempted to sleep curled up, splayed out, on his belly, his side, his back. With his blanket, without his blanket (A grave mistake).
Nothing worked.
And he hated so much that he knew why.
He couldn't stop thinking of Twig.
That loathsome wretch that took his body.
He couldn't understand why he can't stop thinking of her.
He hated her.
He hated how scared and helpless he felt seeing that passage open.
He hated how he wasn't as angry as he wanted to be when she picked him up without his consent.
He can't stop thinking of how she broke the shelves in that closet to fit both of them in there, even though she could have easily just stuffed him in there alone.
He hated so much that he felt safe in there with her.
He hated the way his breath caught on itself when she pulled him closer, after hearing Grovyle step past.
He hated how he felt like he'd been torn in half when Grovyle ripped her out of there.
He hated how frozen in terror he was as he watched Grovyle beat her within an inch of her life.
He hated how he felt utterly useless, watching Celebi, Dusknoir and Kip do everything they could to keep her from dying...
...
Darkrai's eyes widened as a thought came to his mind.
She may not have been attacked if she had just left him.
She might not be unconscious in the hospital, straddling the line between life and death, if she had simply hidden herself in the shadows, and left him to confront Grovyle.
She wasn't hiding herself from Grovyle.
She was protecting him...
...
Darkrai slowly curled his fists, leaving scratch marks in the floor.
No.
That wasn't what she was doing.
She hated him as much as he hated her.
It was in her best interest to keep her own body alive.
Then why didn't she hide you in the closet alone, and try speaking with Grovyle
Because Grovyle would have attacked her regardless.
Then she would have hidden herself in the shadows and tried conversing with him.
Did you not see the murderous rampage Grovyle was on?! He wouldn't have listened to her.
What about the code word?
Darkrai's heart skipped a beat.
She would have had a chance to say it had she not tried to keep you safe.
She... She had a chance to say it during their fight. She'd forgotten she had that word in mind.
Would she have forgotten if he didn't claim that her voice was a trick? Would she have forgotten if she had a chance to talk with Grovyle? Would she have forgotten if she only dodged, and didn't try to fight back?
Grovyle wouldn't have believed her if she did say the word.
Kip didn't believe her until she said the word to him. And he had more of a reason to doubt the legitimacy.
Darkrai pressed his claws into his arms.
Stop.
If she had shown you to him, and explained what had happened, what do you think Grovyle would have done?
Darkrai winced from the pain he was inflicting on himself, attempting to hold back tears.
Stop it!
Grovyle would not have hesitated to try and kill you.
STOP!
He would blame you, as he does now, for stealing her body.
Blood was starting to pool where his claws pierced his skin.
Do you not recall her expression, when she apologized for what she said to you that morning? And the promise she made to find something for you to do during the day?
ENOUGH! I WILL NOT TOLERATE MY OWN MIND BELITTLING ME LIKE THIS!!!
She cares about you.
...
Darkrai quietly cried in his bed. Trying to remain as silent as possible so the others couldn't hear him.
Why?
...
Silence.
**********
Grovyle lay flat on his back in Kip's bed, ironically getting less sleep than he did than for the few weeks he was technically homeless. Forced to stay in that position so his ribs would heal correctly. Tears flow down his face as he thought about Twig.
The fear in her eyes, as a human, a Charmander, and in Darkrai's body haunted him.
The feeling of satisfaction he felt, watching her bleed before he knew who she was, made him consider leaving to enter Labyrinth Cave alone.
Grovyle intentionally took deep breaths. Each one sending out sharp pain from his chest.
He can never see her again. His presence would force her to relive what he'd done to her.
He tried to kill her.
He forced her through intense agony to make her suffer.
He traumatized her.
She should hate him.
She should hate him the way he hates himself, with every fiber of her being...
He hopes she does.
*********
Dusknoir couldn't take any comfort in the literature he used to. Despite Celebi's and the doctors' best efforts, the damage done to his eye is permanent. Everything looks like he'd been submerged underwater. His age already made his eyesight worse, but now he'll have to learn Braille to read again.
But he wasn't worried about that.
He was more worried about Kip.
He was of course worried about Twig. Praying at every moment that she would recover, but his fears still lay in seeing Kip neglect himself to watch Twig at all times.
The fact that the last thing he could, and probably will ever see clearly, was Kip's expression of terror, the same he'd seen several years ago, filled him with a pain that was much greater than what Kip had afflicted him with.
Dusknoir wondered if all of this would have been avoided if he was never given his undeserved mercy.
He saw the way Kip shook when he exited the passage of time.
Twig wouldn't be on the cusp of death, and Kip would be happy if he was simply never brought back.
********
Celebi couldn't understand how Darkrai isn't exhausted all the time with how he's constantly angry.
She's barely able to do anything but sit on the couch and think of just how much of a brain-dead idiot she is.
If she had just looked forward when they figured out that Kip and Twig had moved, then she could have stopped any of this from happening.
But NOOOOO!~ She just HAD to wait and see what would happen! She just HAD to be surprised by how things would turn out!
And now she hurt everyone and Twig might die.
Sure, they managed to get her to the hospital, and yeah, She's at least stable.
But what happens if her body gives out?
She dies.
And it'd be her fault if she does.
Celebi doesn't even want to think about what Kip and Grovyle would do if she passes.
She's completely trapped in a prison of her own design.
She hates that she didn't look forward then, and she hates how scared she is to look forward now.
She hates how angry she feels towards Kip for hurting Dusknoir like that. Even though she knows it was a knee-jerk reaction.
She hates how angry she is at Grovyle, for letting himself get to the point where all logic and reasoning went out the window. Even though she knows he was just tired and furious and paranoid.
But she doesn't hate how angry she is at herself.
There isn't a justification for her actions.
She is just stupid.
*********
Kip didn't care that sleeping next to her gave him nightmares. He couldn't care less that the pendant she wore with the lunar feather was lost during her fight.
The fear he feels in those nightmares pales in comparison to the fear he feels at every waking second.
Every morning he jolts awake, covered in cold sweat from the nightmare he had, and stares at Twig. Watching her to make sure she's still breathing.
He hasn't left the room since he was allowed in after the emergency surgery the Doctors had to preform on her.
He watches the doctors replace the medicine and bandages daily. Staring at her wounds to make sure they haven't gotten infected. Even if that's not his job.
Kip just-
He was so mad at himself.
He wanted to make up for abandoning Twig when she needed him most. But he can't.
And he might not ever be able to.
What a moron he is. He can't figure out why he started running in the first place.
They were his friends. They wouldn't hurt him or Twig.
But Grovyle ended up nearly killing her anyway. All because he wasn't there to defend her. To explain what had happened.
Kip stared at Twig.
First time she's slept since switching bodies, and it was because of him.
Kip stood up and heavily, slowly walked towards the door.
He turned his head to look back at her. Hoping she'd woken up.
She didn't. She lay in the same position. Her breathing, weak and short.
...
Team Skull was right about him
They were more right than Twig ever was.
All he ever did was weigh her down. He was a burden that he forced her to carry.
She had lied to him. He wasn't her friend. Friends don't abandon each other when they need them most.
Friends don't suddenly change their minds and try to go back for them for no reason.
Friends don't break down crying, unable to do anything while trying to put medicine on their wounds.
Friends don't act like him.
Kip left the room and slowly walked out of the hospital towards the travel agency. His head hung low.
He could feel the atmosphere get less heavy with each step, but he himself still felt heavy.
He's going... Somewhere. He doesn't know where. Just, any other town.
She doesn't deserve a scumbag 'friend' like him.
It's better this way...
*******
Celebi had told her everything.
She couldn't help but notice the underlying anger in her words. Everything recounted to her with an uncharacteristic flatness. Simply laying out the facts and nothing more.
She took a slight amusement as she thought about how Twig must have looked at Grovyle, when he saw her clutching that monster like some scared child holding a stuffed toy.
It was exactly what she deserved to have happen after she gave pity to that wretched, selfish thing.
At least justice was finally served.
Maybe now she'll take a step back and realize her actions and words were in no way justified.
Maybe she'll finally see just how awful he acted. And finally take the steps to right what's wrong.
Cresselia stopped her midnight flight when she suddenly realized that someone experiencing great physical and emotional pain. Barely detectable, as it was far away. All the way over on the Fire continent.
Cresselia decided to shelve the thoughts as she began making her way over to where the pain was originating.
She thinks it may be coming from a Snivy but she isn't quite sure yet.
Cresselia enjoyed the feeling of the crisp, early spring night breeze against her feathers.
Perhaps her and Kip will finally see eye-to-eye when she returns.
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okay this is rough and jumbled.
SnakeHolder!Chloe headcanons:
Sass is shown to be calm and charming, qualities that make the Kwamis look up to him and consider him as a leader figure. Chloe's tendencies to be easily driven by poor writing by her emotions, especially her self loathing and insecurities can be redeemed with continuous support, calm but firm guidance by Sass. He's also described as mature and responsible which dissuades Chloe's attempts at anything that could get her in trouble or revert her to her old ways.
Sass had doubts at first but after a near death experience where Chloe didn't seem to be fazed or had mind, he was intrigued. And maybe a bit worried.
Surprisingly, Chloe denies him at first saying that Ladybug was right and she shouldn't be trusted with another miraculous. This goes on and on until she finally bursts and all the pent up trauma comes out. Part time Kwami, full time Therapist.
Their relationship is rocky at first but they eventually became civil after they transformed (against Chloe's will) to fight off a powered up akuma. The others weren't aware as Chloe insisted they work incognito.
Chloe slowly redeems herself after acting quick and planning fast everytime she uses Second Chance. It's hard to keep up while making sure she doesn't get seen by the other heroes. It's hard at first but what does she have to lose anyway?
Her new hero persona eventually bleeds into her personal life. She's still sassy (lol), mean, and doesn't take anyone's shit but she's more aware now. Going back in time to fix things alters your brain chemistry.
Awareness is the first step to redemption. After numerous breakdowns and nights of self loathing and pity, she eventually acknowledges everything she's done wrong and sees everything in a new perspective and just freaks out.
Cue Protective Sass!
The process is slow and subtle and people don't notice it at first. Chloe thinks first now. She's able to hold in usual insults that would freely come out of her and reconsider her reaction (unless it's sudden, spooked her, etc.)
Next to awareness and acknowledgement is guilt. After realizing everything she's done, she tries everything she can do at that moment to change even some things. Apologies aren't easy for her because she's never even heard that directed to her. In sincerity and not fear. So, whenever she doesn't have to help Ladybug and Chat Noir, she practices with Sass.
"I..," a shaky breath, "I'm sorry."
She practices the phrase before and after the day.
She's hella confused. She's grateful Sass is there to assure her everytime. She stumbles through her words but she manages to get out a sincere apology to the closest person she has: Sabrina.
They talk about it and their friendship shifts. It's not perfect, but it's better than before.
She hasn't formally apologized to the others yet but she's trying.
With help from both Sabrina and Sass, she starts to apologize (but now with more confidence) to people she's hurt. Rose is open to the idea of mending bonds, the others are wary but doesn't say anything else.
The last two she apologizes to is Adrien and Marinette. Adrien is wary but his kindness overweights his doubts. They're not back to what was before and frankly Chloe is glad. She doesn't want what's in the past, she wants to create something now and for the future.
Marinette was the last.
"You shouldn't forgive me right away," she interrupts the shorter girl, "I know you're kind and such a goody two shoes but that doesn't mean you should forgive me after a week or so." She levels a determined look to shocked blue eyes, "Let me prove myself first." And softer, "please."
Well that's all I have so far. I just find it befitting for two major reasons: Sass's ability can actually help Chloe see things in more than one perspective which would help her deal and open up with all her trauma and toxic habits. The ability allows her to be more observant on where she needs to go back to fix the mistake. It takes quick thinking and concentration of the user. It requires an open mind on alternatives. And secondly, 'Second Chance' is fitting for what she needs. Not a half baked Arc where she doesn't know what she wants and needs. But something firm and continuous to keep her going. A real second chance.
That's just me and my rambling. Feel free to add or correct me about anything! (Don't be rude about it though).
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