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#everything i knit in 2023
prettycraft5 · 9 months
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Everything I knit in 2023
This would the final 2023 video on my would-be knitting podcast, but I do not have a knitting podcast so enjoy it on here instead.
I'll go in chronological order since every item is different (there is 1 hat, 1 garment, etc) except for the socks, as I'm delighted to say I knit 4 pairs of!
Keep in my that this is my 3rd year knitting.
Btw, the cost is for the number of skeins I've bought and opened for this project. If I only used half a skein, it will be calculated like a full skein price wise.
Buffalo Rose Beanie by KC Knitting Co
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Project on Ravelry. My first stranded colorwork & my first proper hat! I learned a ton of techniques with this, like colorwork and how to construct a basic hat and a new cast on. I did so many swatches before starting this project. I love the rose design but I think my choice of yarn made it a bit squished?
It's slightly too tight and quite too short. The tightness is my own fault (I should have probably used 4 mm needles instead of 3.5 mm), but other people on Ravelry have said that their hat ended up being too short, so I think this might be a problem of the pattern itself. I had to open the top and knit another round of squares and it still doesn't cover my ears (the photo is from before I did this surgery).
Yarn: Mondial Merinos Extra, Mondial Merino Baby
COST: around 15€
USAGE: Not much because of fit issues.
FUTURE: I might knit it again with 4 mm needles & longer but I don't know if it's worth the hassle anyway.
Avo-can-do by handmade by SMINÉ
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Project on Ravelry. Used it as a power bank pouch. It served me well over the last year but I've realized that this design with strings is not the best. It doesn't close completely and I'm always scared I'll be losing a phone cable. I remember I didn't do the eyelets for the strings properly either, I should have watched a tutorial.
Yarn: Mondial Merinos Extra
COST: Nothing, from stash.
USAGE: It's been in use for almost 1 year
FUTURE: I'll knit a new version with a different pattern and cotton yarn in 2024.
Cheval qui tien debout | Self-supporting Horse by Kathleen PETTIER
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Project on Ravelry. A gift for my sweet little cousin. I was very impressed that I was actually able to pull it off. I used LadyTemeraire notes for this pattern and to her I give my heartfelt thanks. Link on the Ravelry page.
I only have two regrets: I think the back legs are a bit wonky (but nobody is going to notice except for me) and I should have taken the time to make the tail fuller. By that point I was pretty fed up with the project, tho.
Yarn: random yarn I had in stash. I unraveled a scarf and a hat to get the little bits for the rainbow mane, actually.
COST: Nothing, from stash.
USAGE: Dunno. Gift.
FUTURE: Making stuffies is fun and I'd really enjoy making another one for another child.
Nalu Mitts by Leila Raven
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Project on Ravelry. A gift. It's a fun project that I would recommend to someone looking for some easy mittens and/or cables. It was fairly quicky to knit up. I did mess up the cables positioning a bit (they are too close to the thumb on one mitten) but oh well. Hopefully my friend won't notice, haha.
Yarn: Mondial Merinos Extra
COST: Nothing, from stash.
USAGE: It was a gift so who knows
FUTURE: I'l probably knit some mittens for myself sooner or later, but not using this pattern because I want fingers.
Step by Step Sweater by Florence Miller
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Project on Ravelry. I feel like everyone and their grandmother knit one of these this year. It was an easy pattern, even with the 2 "more difficult" modifications (folded collar and short row shaping). Certainly a good foray into garment-making but it did take me some 5 months to complete it!
I'm proud that after realizing I had chosen the wrong size, I frogged, did the math & casted on the correct size rather than keep going. At the time it made me very cranky but it was necessary.
And now, for the bad. I, once again, used 3.5 mm needles instead of 4 mm. The fabric is way too dense and the yarn (Mondial Merino Plus) is scratchy so I have to wear a long-sleeved t-shirt underneath
I wanted the collar to sit closer to the neck. I don't know if this wasn't the right pattern for that or if it's something I did wrong? But I see lots of sweaters online with this same problem.
The sleeves are too short. It's my fault as I ran out of black yarn so I had to improvise and do some sweater surgery to lengthen the other colours (as I didn't want to spend any more money on this) but they still ended up too short.
Lastly, it gave me clicker thumb and I had to take a month long break from knitting in order to recover so, yeah. Not a really fun knit.
Yarn: Mondial Merino Plus
COST: around 40€, I think
USAGE: only a couple of times but one of the sleeves has kind of started to unravel already in the sweater surgery bit. The yarn is quite scratchy so I have to wear a long-sleeved t-shirt with it.
FUTURE: I think it's fine as it is.
Headband with a twist by Mirella Moments
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Project on Ravelry. I wanted a quick way to knit a hat and this seemed like a good choice. It came out pretty well: it fits perfectly and the twist makes it look classy and complicated but was actually so easy to knit. But unfortunately, it's not warm enough for the winter here. I will have to knit an actual hat after all!
Yarn: Mondial Merinos Extra
COST: nothing, yarn from stash.
USAGE: I wore it for a couple of weeks and I immediately got a colt. Sigh. Also, if I wear it for more than 15 min the yarn will start to feel scratchy on my forehead.
FUTURE: Will probably gift it to someone.
The socks
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In chronological order, from the top left:
Vanilla Sock with Gusset & Choice of Heel by Jo Torr. My third attempt at sock-making. Yarn: Mondial Kim (6€).
Stolen Bike Socks by Monica S. My pride and joy. Photo taken before I bought sock blockers but really, they are excellent. Yarn: Mondial Kim (from stash).
Simple DK Shortie Socks by Woolfield. A gift that I had to make quickly. The gusset decreases go in the wrong direction but that's ok it became a design feature. Yarn: Schachenmayr Regia (8€).
Togetherness Socks by Little Home Designs. Wonderful stupendous, to die for. My second foray into cables I did have to make the toes a little longer but whatever. Yarn: West Yorkshire Spinners Signature 4 Ply (£8.95).
Some conclusions
This year I knit 9 objects: 1 garment, 6 accessories, a random home object and 1 plushie. It's a lot more than I thought!
I think the reason why I felt that I didn't knit much this year was that I didn't focus on what I'm most interested in: sweaters and socks. I'm a product knitter. I knit because I need something. All of these things were useful, but one can never have too many socks and my sweater drawer is pretty miserable.
My 2024 knitting resolution: knit 2 sweaters + finish my Deborah cardigan before summer. Then another sweater in autumn. All the while, I'll be knitting as many socks as possible (not vanilla). I also need to knit a hat and a new power bank pouch, but those two are less urgent. I already have a ton of sock yarn (ok not quite but) and will purchase the other yarn after finishing the previous project.
Also, 3 of my projects were gifts. It's nice to knit gifts, but it takes a bunch of time and my wardrobe stays empty. At the end of the day, I'd rather knit for myself and tick something off my "want" list. No, I don't think that makes me selfish.
2024 resolution n2: No gift knitting at all.
Lastly, I hadn't realized that this year I knit almost entirely with Mondial yarn. Mostly because that's what my LYS carries and because I had it in stash from last year. In retrospect, I really don't like it. I find it scratchy, even the merino. But I do still have a fair bit left so I need to find ways to use it up. Perhaps the Mondial Merinos Extra would make decent socks?
New Year's Resolution part 3: Never buy Mondial yarn again.
Thanks for coming to my written knitting podcast. Here is to another year of crafting!
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vashti-lives · 9 months
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The cursed cardigan is done!!!!!!
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multimousenette · 1 year
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wow okay so draw everything June was WAY more intense than I expected but I’ve def seen improvement which is really exciting. Obviously this is not all of them, I’ve still got six left, but I wanted to share haha
The last two — vampire!mineta (this is how he imagines he looks on Halloween. He doesn’t) and dead katsuki — were done today and I’m really proud of them haha. I’m a bit upset at how good mineta looks if I’m honest
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iznsfw · 8 months
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Reputation, Or Whatever That Is
IZ Days of Christmas 2023: Day 12 - Jang Wonyoung
IVE's Jang Wonyoung x Male Reader Smut
7,063 words
Categories | daddy kink, brat!Wonyoung, squirting, blowjob, please appreciate Wonyoung's power bottom capabilities
Sorry, Yena is coming out sometime but I wanted to finally write something timely. JANG WONYOUNG WHAT THE FUCKKKKK.
Please bear with the religious metaphors, I have Catholic guilt and Wonyoung reignites it. I'm not sorry for all the other fucked up shit here I'm just ooga boogaing because what the FUCK
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It’s a little brighter today than usual. The sun surely knows what's about to happen upon its rising. It has no plans of telling you beforehand, so you’re forced to find out yourself. 
You open Instagram, which is insane because you never bother to look at pictures—much less edited, filtered ones made for meaningless impressions. Your blissful ignorance of online concepts is what would make your fans hate you if they had space in their deluded hearts to. Or maybe that’s your age talking.
But today, clicking on that app is what you do, and that already should have been a sign that something’s not right. The usual run of your universe has gone off course. Who could have made that so?
Coffee. The black stillness that’s pure of sweetness and sugar. That’s supposed to keep everything normal. You sip on it as you scroll through clickbait, fan accounts, edits—
Then you wish you never took that hot gulp at all.
Wonyoung. 
It’s all because of her. 
She stands there from behind your screen, silky hair tangled in those lithe long fingers. She’s looking at the camera like she wants whoever took the time to click on her profile to come over and fuck her right now. Man or woman, poor or rich—it doesn’t matter. What ought to matter though is the fact that she doesn’t have someone’s hands slipped around her waist and pulling her close.
You shouldn’t even be thinking about it.
Usually, she’s dressed in knitted pink coats and miniskirts; looking fashionable but modest, modest but unplain. That’s what everyone loves about Jang Wonyoung: she’s prim, sweet, and the daughter of the nation. 
Now, she’s the ideal girl to take right home and have your wicked way with. Yes, you’d feel guilty since she’s so young, just the little age of nineteen. Still, that doesn’t mean you’d have any regrets. She’s the kind of girl you can’t get away from. You’ll always come back for more.
You’d hate to be so upfront, but there’s no other way to interpret it. 
There’s that fucking denim bra hugging her tiny chest, stitched up so high that her abs are on full display. That little pinch of a waist curves so perfectly right up to her wide hips that invite and invite and invite—
Remember to exhale.
So, yeah. That’s how Wonyoung ruined your day, and you barely had your morning coffee.
A text message from your boss appears. You nearly miss it because of how you’re staring all ogle-eyed at the tempting girl on your screen. Before you even click it, you already know what you ought to do. 
hey, it reads, you need to—
-
—go to Wonyoung, and for such a scandalous photo, she’s chosen a remote but classy hotel only the biggest stars know of to shoot it. 
There’s no going back when you drive like you’re running from the law when you’ll break one if you pull the wrong stunt with her. Your throat’s coiled with an unreleased breath that won’t go away unless you see her. It’s like traveling with the promise of meeting a goddess, and although you’re not religious anymore, you wear very, very close to rediscovering faith.
The hotel is grand—clear marble floors and shining chandeliers—and it’s no surprise. Wonyoung wouldn’t have things any other way. You know that when she’s come to your office to complain about her outfits and brands. 
You go up to the desk with prepared evidence for what you’re going to say. “I’m an associate of your client miss Jang Wonyoung,” you say to the lady tapping away behind her computer, “and I’ve come to visit her.”
Associate? It’s more like mentor. You’re a veteran idol whose efforts inspire the rookies, therefore getting you the responsibility of looking out for Wonyoung. So, father figure, maybe? You wince at that.
She makes a polite sad look, still not removing her eyes from the screen. “I’m sorry, miss Jang doesn’t have—”
Slide your ID card on the counter.
She glances at it, stiffens, then looks up at you. There’s only one of you in the entire South Korea, and although the 1x1 traces back to when you were a bit more youthful, it’s not hard to put two and two together. 
She apologizes quickly and offers you an elevator ride exclusive for VVIPs. Smile. It’s been a while since your last return to music, but everyone knows you here. Everyone knows your power.
Wonyoung’s place is the first room on the twelfth floor, a flinching irony.
Knock. You rap your knuckles three times for good luck and charm, because you’ll need it with her. Jang Wonyoung is everything save an easy girl. You remember the many times she refused to give up a debate on how she’s managed, how she’s styled, how she’s treated. She wants things to go her way only.
“Wonyoung,” you call out. Fidget with the handle of the door that refuses to budge. “It’s me.”
Knock a little more. There’s no eye behind the peekhole or a soft “come in.” You receive only the unlocking of the furnished knob and a welcome that makes you wish this could go the way your morals would want it to go.
The door opens you to a gorgeous suite that’s the supreme of all room tiers. This is the kind that only the richest of the rich are able to attain. Big as a house with a soft carpeted ground, there’s a queen-sized bed before a wide window of the city. Picture frames commissioned by the wealthy hang from the painted walls. All for the fucking aesthetic.
Even you, a star who paved the way for the Korean entertainment industry itself, aren’t used to this type of wealth. 
Find her sitting on the ledge of the window frame. Wonyoung has her hands resting on the sides of the window frame. She doesn’t try at least a stance at nonchalance—no admiring stare at the beautiful view, no worried gaze at her clean fingernails. Her interest is you standing before her like you’re afraid to touch her. She might be right, but it’s not like you’d ever have it in you to admit that.
Even you, a man lusted over by girls and women all over the world, aren’t used to this kind of woman—the kind that eats away at you.
“Wonyoung.” Inside, you feel like the weakest man in the world.
She has this smarmy, confident smile on her perfect lips that tells you that it’s no surprise that you’ve come all the way here for her. No surprise at all. She expected it. Anticipated it, if you will.
Don’t mistake the coquettish float of her lashes for theatrics. No, Jang Wonyoung’s just naturally someone you’d want to fuck, no matter the politics of it. “Yes?”
Her voice is also just that pretty. That’s a large part of why it’s so hard to act professional in front of her when she’s your mentee. Even more so by the fact you’re someone she’s looked up to for the majority of her trainee years, which is already something that would make people’s brows lift.
“Wonyoung.” You let your shoulders rest. “Why are you still dressed like that?”
You know all the dialogue that passes around the general public. Oh, Jang Wonyoung’s so gorgeous! Jang Wonyoung’s even more beautiful in real life! You hate to say you can’t disagree. She’s deadlier in person; her body’s there before the glass like she’s waiting for someone to give in to temptation. That coy simper can ruin careers. It can ruin yours. 
To think it all could be gone because of a nineteen-year-old celebrity with a tiny waist and legs you’d love to have around your head.
“Why are you still dressed like someone from the eighties?” Wonyoung taps her chin, then grins. She’s figured it all out. “Oh wait, you are.”
You’re not taking insults from someone who’s below you in experienced years and power. Unluckily, she’s not taking advice from someone above her or below her.
The step you take towards her, towards the little star seated comfortably waiting for you, feels like a sin. 
“You’re incredibly unprofessional for a girl who’s worked her way up here,” you note. Cross your arms and give her a reprimanding look. 
Wonyoung’s immune to nasty looks, too. She’s been doing this since she was a child. If someone gave her a glare that read all too well of a career assassination, she’d wink the bullet away sweetly. “Hm,” she says contemplatively, “I don’t think you get to say that, honestly.”
Your laugh is blunt and sarcastic. Unbelievable. Wonyoung’s the kindest girl according to the people who work for her, so why is she a rebel in your hands? It doesn’t make sense.
“Look here, we—”
You take three steps closer to her. You’ll keep your little rituals and superstitions to keep yourself grounded. Without them, you’d go insane. 
Then without her having to do anything, she comes nearer, like a doomsday foretold by a ticking clock. Who knows? That clock could be a bomb, and that bomb would set off if you dare to touch her with a trembling fingertip. You’d leave the scene injured. And eventually, you’d die the moment they try to help you, because the deed’s been done.
“Oh, I’m looking, alright,” she chirps. She’s doing what you’ve held yourself back from doing: letting her eyes wander. “And I really, really like what I see.”
You’re someone several awards her senior, and you’re still quite intimidated by her at this moment. She’s so sweet yet so honest—she won’t make up a lie to make you feel better and she won’t hide the truth to make you comfortable. Refuse the truth her eyes locked on your crotch tell. You won’t accept it. It’s not right.
“I’m serious.” Approaching her makes you want to go on your knees and beg the lord for a little saving. Do it anyway. No one will rescue you. That’s what the industry taught you. “You’ve made it all the way up here. All by yourself. There’s gotta be something. What are you throwing it all away for?”
She laughs. Funniest thing she’s ever heard. “I’m not. How am I throwing it all away?” 
“Those posts,” you hiss. Doesn’t she get it?
Before she could ask you what you’re talking about, you whip out your phone. Click on the app icon. It instantly shows you the opened tab containing Wonyoung’s recent Instagram posts. Look at her, wrapped in nothing, not even those curtains—giving the camera bedroom eyes when girls her age shouldn’t be shooting them at anyone or be aware of how to. 
It’s already massed a million likes in under an hour. But you know what people who turn on anyone easily will say, and what they say could blot Wonyoung’s bright future by a lot. A million people around the world have caught sight of the abs she’s worked hard for, her toned back, and just about everything. A loud minority with frisky influences can sabotage her whole reputation.
“These posts,” you continue, shoving the screen into the poor girl’s face, “can take away everything you’ve worked for. All that fame, all that money, you can’t brag about them after this.”
Wonyoung looks on innocently. She stares at the screen with uninterested eyes, then switches them back on you. She looks like such a good girl in that second, with her hands seated beside her and that face so full of sparkling perfection. 
Deception can’t lead you away. 
“So, what’s it gonna be, Wonyoung?” 
Long silence that builds up your frustration. Finally, she clicks her tongue. Gives you a shrug of her thin shoulders.
“You liked it.”
“What?”
She points to your phone. “You liked my post,” she repeats. “It says so right there.”
What the hell is she talking about?
You look at the device you’re brandishing. For a while, you can’t find out what she’s referring to. You can never take a liking to her posts, although if they switch on something you didn’t know you can feel. You’d die before—
The heart. 
Wait.
The heart button below her set of pictures is filled with red.
Your heart pumps faster, a button pushed and played.
Fuck.
You turn to her and open your mouth. No sensible words come out. You swear you didn’t tap twice on her update or take it to a private setting. How did it happen? Worse, even if you say that to her, she’d take it as a pathetic lie.
Wonyoung giggles. It’s a tinkly sound that’s adorable, but you’ve long realized that being cute is not all there is to her. She rises slowly, sets her palms over your blazer-clad arms, and gives you an empathetic face. It’s so condescending that you want to dissolve. 
“I know what men like you are all about,” she tells you. She speaks with a sultriness that makes you feel warm and has bumps appearing in masses across your skin.
She smiles. Her eyes disappear into crescent moons and the dimple appears on her cheek. You’re done for. 
“Come on,” Wonyoung continues, squeezing your forearms. “Here you are, a big old man known for being a good singer or whatever. You’re so popular that the first thing that pops up on Naver is your face. Everything goes right for you, doesn’t it?”
You have no idea where she’s going with this. You’re afraid to even ask. Your teeth grit as her massages grow stronger, harder. 
Something else is, too.
“Then, of course, you see me.” 
Her hand. It’s curling around your wrist and bringing your fingers right around that flawless waist. She closes them there tightly.
It’s so bad that it’s good. You want to keep touching her, maybe slip your gliding fingers down her jeans. Oh, you shouldn’t. You can’t.
“You see me, and you get all hot and bothered. And what’s so funny is I’m not even doing anything. I’m just being myself, you know. Being young and rich… a beautiful girl…” Wonyoung is unbuttoning your shirt and you don’t realize it. “You can’t understand how I’m allowed to be this hot when you can’t even fuck me with a normal conscience.”
It’s all so wrong. You want to shake her by the shoulders and tell her to shut up. But if Medusa has her eyes, Wonyoung has her lips to turn you to stone. They keep opening elegantly to speak the filthiest, most fucked up shit, and you can’t deny anything.
Her eyes are creased with knowing pride. Her youth doesn’t rescue her from being so messed in the head already. Those thoughts don’t go along with such a pretty face.
“That’s why you like to get rough with me. You tell me to watch how I speak, watch how I act. You tell me to stop talking to you like you’re no one. You tell me that I’m such a little brat. But you only do that so you can get to control me. That’s your most fucked up dream, right?”
Her mouth is the tiniest space away from your chin. 
You’re another word away from saving yourself a spot in damnation.
Her finger that scratches a flaw on your blazer beckons you to the fire. “You’re not breaking the law or anything,” says Wonyoung, “so why not break me instead, daddy?”
That’s a deal sealed with a rough kiss.
You grab her cruelly and cover her lips with yours. They’re more amazing than you imagined, soft and competent with how she pushes in deeper, depriving herself of the air she needs the most just to get what she needs just a bit more:
You. 
Your tongues collide and clash, striving to get the most taste. She pulls your blazer off (because fuck professionalism, right?) while she kisses you with a hunger that’s equally mental and physical. It’s not like she’d bruise up if you didn’t get your hands on her yet it’s close to that. 
And, in your case, it’s not like you’re breaking any law. She’s nineteen, not anywhere under the limits you’d kill others and yourself for touching. Nonetheless, you’re much older—by age, she could be your daughter; by career, she’s your junior; by power, you’re much stronger. 
So, it’s still so wrong.
Can’t be when Wonyoung’s fist, firm around your cock, feels so right. 
Can’t be when she lands on the edge of the bed with her lips parted in delight as she watches your dick stiffen under her service. 
“There you go, daddy,” she coos, smirking. “Just get all hard for me, then you can stuff that big thing up in my pussy.”
Her thumb toys with your cockhead. You purse your lips to hold back a groan. Let go of it anyway when her smooth, closed palm rubs your sensitive flesh. She cups your balls lovingly before gliding her teasing fingertips under your length, right up to your tip. The girl knows how to do this; she’s good at more things other than MCing and performing.
Wonyoung hones this skill with firmer pumps, giving you the handjob of a lifetime. Her long fingers are just made to handle dick. Each stroke is perfection that holds and pulls and slides. You’re leaking so much already. 
So you turn into the driver of the hate train, the press that loves getting her bad angles and the articles that slash up her name:
Blame it all on her. 
Because you have here a girl, young and pretty and confident, so of course you have to scrape off your sins and nail them all on her, like a quivering hand to wood.
“You think you’re getting it that easily?” you say. Your moan is squeezed in your throat. “Baby, you’re not even close to it.”
Wonyoung smirks. It’s that self-assured, elegant smile that tells you that won’t work on her. She might be a rookie, but she knows how to play the game. 
She tightens her grip painfully. That’s what you get for trying to one her up. Do that to anyone, just not Jang Wonyoung. Your cry goes unheard as she yanks you rather than jerks you off. Spits on your head for good measure. Wonyoung’s eyes make a connection with your soul and says, Yep, that’s what I’d do if you weren’t my senior. In fact, I’d do it regardless. I’d choke and spit and leave you to die, because a pretty Samaritan is better than a good one.
“You’re really out of touch, daddy.” 
With Wonyoung slathering her drool all over you, you’re forced to teeter on the line between heaven and hell. It burns yet the offer of pleasure leaves you sated.
“You think I’m like the pretty girls out there? Other girls might have broken down and begged you to come back.” 
Your rod is subjected to a brief torrid kiss, then a smile as the wicked girl looks up at you.
She laughs, gives you this smile full of haught and womanly power. “Too bad I’m Jang Wonyoung,” she says, her last words before taking you in.
Yes, it’s too bad she’s Jang Wonyoung. It’s too bad she’s not the other girls who’d kneel for a burning touch of stars like you. She wouldn’t be holding control over you with the power of her lips if she had sanity in that pretty head.
Her plump tiers wrap around you and seize everything, encasing it in softness and wetness. Her tongue, the one she uses as a killer expression for her selfies and Instagram updates, kills you all the same with how it swirls around your skin and tastes you. Trying to pretend the girl wasn’t a pro at this like she is with everything else is useless. She’ll keep proving you wrong and overpowering you.
The whole of your shaft is sucked in, then, when her cute nose is pressed directly to your stomach, she lets out a hummed laugh. You shudder—as much as it makes you feel good, fear grips your muscles and makes them limp. She’s loving how wrong everything is, and you’re not sure if you like it.
Her jaw slacks, and then Wonyoung’s swallowing you like you’re water. Can’t be water when you’re this solid in her throat. You let out a shivering groan. You can picture the bulge in Wonyoung’s neck and it’s the last thing you’d count on turning you on, but they did tell you to expect the unexpected. 
Her saliva becomes excessive, resulting in some dribbles down her chin that help her work her mouth on you. Wonyoung’s drool sheens you entirely and she keeps adding more. On the occasion she pushes her face into your stomach, your cock gets wetter. She does, too. 
“Fuck.” Cussing won’t help deter the onslaught of pleasure. You’re unsalvageable. Say it anyway. You babble meaningless, slurred words and not one gets to Wonyoung. All she can hear is the sound of your quivering moans and her mouth taking you all in.
She becomes less of an idol, less of the elegant princess for the cameras, and instead a fleshlight. However, she reminds you that it isn’t that way with a fierce sneer that stays on at all times. She’s not your girl—she’s Jang Wonyoung, and you’re already incredibly lucky that she chose to go down on you.
All that beautiful hair isn’t of any purpose if you don’t get to touch it, to gather it in a ponytail, to pull on it. Your fingers creep into her brown locks not only to give it a little meaning but also for sanity. 
That isn’t a thing in Wonyoung’s world. She pulls your hand off and slaps it on your side. “No,” she says with a shake of her head. “Daddy can’t touch me, not when he’s pretending that he’s hot shit.”
Her nails bury themselves in your hips. Oh, the manicured talons of a gorgeous monster. Oh, the pain that runs through your sides. Should you run before she devours you? Too late for that.
“Wonyoung,” you breathe, and then ask, genuinely: “What the hell is wrong with you?”
She’s so proper and serene on her shows that not even her most desperate fan would think she’s a terror. They don’t know she’s a girl who likes older, weaker men who’d ruin her if she hasn’t the pretty face and attractively black heart to do them the favor instead. 
“What’s wrong with you?” 
You’d respond if you knew the answer.
Wonyoung rubs her thumb under your dick, sending little sparks aflying. “Why’d you kiss me earlier?” Her lipstick decorates it as a kinder girl would to your face. “Why didn’t you grab my hair and tell me to be a good girl? Why didn’t you leave? It’s not my fault you want to fuck me.”
All these words of destruction and your cock remains standing. It’s a staunch reminder to her that you can say whatever you want and the hard evidence remains. You want to fuck Wonyoung. You want to do it to a rookie who’d turn the story around on you if it ever came out. You want to fuck her so bad it’s borderline pitiable.
“I’m just giving you what you want, daddy.” Her fingers caress your sides. “Trust me, I could be a very good girl if I wanted to.”
You almost didn’t believe that until Wonyoung started to suck you off again. 
Her lips stroke you effortlessly as if this were her pastime. That’s your most accurate guess, because this seamless performance—the one of her mouth working on you with the impression that this whole thing is nothing to her—can’t be a natural gift. The combination of dripping saliva and her soft lips is lethal.
It’s unbelievable how she manages to find all your tender spots. She preys on them, licking and licking until you’re very sure you were going to blow all over her. But you can’t give her that satisfaction. 
You’re very close to doing so though. She’s perfectly sloppy and rough. You glare at her when she lightly teases her teeth on your girth. She winks at you in response. She leaves you breathless in so many ways. 
“Wonyoung, Wonyoung, god—” you whine. It’s so hard to adapt to the girl sitting there with that innocent face and wild mouth that doesn’t dare give up on you. 
Her expressions on camera are always poised. Off camera, there’s this one she flashes you as she shoves her face into your stomach that looks downright evil. Although she’s already fucking you with her throat, Wonyoung partners it with strong suction that’s sure to drain you. 
“Yes, daddy?” She doesn’t pant when she goes up for air, replacing her sucking with her long fingers. 
“I’m really close,” you admit. It’s obvious from your shaking legs. 
Sounds of returned wet suction start to increase. Criticism and compliments prod Wonyoung on. How else would she improve in her idol life? In blowing you? In devouring you?
You realize you’re fitting the cliché. There’s you, an idol whose name is uttered on the daily by both young and old fans, igniting a scandal in the making by fucking a girl beneath you in everything. There’s this expensive suite where stars go for a little precious privacy to do what they want. There’s the two of you doing exactly what you desire: fucking each other. There’s the classic maneater trope with how it’s more like Wonyoung fucking you—she fucks you with her face, fucks you in the head, fucks with your righteousness. Well, fuck.
Wonyoung drools so much that you’re invited to a sea the moment your head pushes past her tongue again. It’s slicker, sloppier, and so much sexier because she’s so completely devoted to your cock. Her hypnotizing eyes trap you and so does her body, tight and tiny—that tummy is flatter than a board and only thin panties hide what her long legs lead to from the bottom.
The only time she stops sucking you is when she darts her tongue side to side with an unhinged pace on your sensitive tip. “Good. Cum in my throat.”
“Shit, god, I can’t—”
Wonyoung attacks you again, and there, in her warm orifice, your plentiful orgasm spends itself. Her throat welcomes you tightly every time. Her hot restricted breaths fan your groin and evokes more semen that spills with no care. 
Your hands ball into fists. Although you’re hot and shaking, you can’t touch her. Why are you following her rules when it should be the other way around? It’s a reversal of roles, a Stockholm’s Syndrome of some sorts whose victim is your cock never wanting to leave from the predatory embrace of Wonyoung’s puckered kiss.
Of course, after she gathers all of your cum in the pool of her mouth, she swallows.
She really could be a good girl.
“Awh.” Wonyoung pouts mockingly. “Daddy, are you crying?”
Touch your face. To your horror, she’s right. The electricity and shock of her continuous blowjob results in a few tears on your cheeks. You haven’t done that in years. Wonyoung is the first one to make you cry like this.
You flush. What more to hide your weakness than anger? “Wonyoung,” you start, then you realize you don’t know what to say, “I—you—”
She smiles. You aren’t going anywhere.
She shoves you to the bed. You’ve reached rock bottom in spite of the softness of the quality pillows. You’ll scrape your way out if not for Wonyoung finishing the job by keeping you there assisted by her legs. They close around you with not even a courtesy false promise of an escape. No negotiation, no coaxes. 
Wonyoung is sitting on your crotch but not on your dick, which is a problem. Which is a solution. Her hands are pinned to your chest while you try not to meet her eyes. It’s a losing game when your runaway glances are met by her grinding hips, silky thighs, and the hard, flexing abs of a perfection of a midriff. 
Her fingers tug on the waistband of her panties before slowly slipping them off. Her pink pussy clear of blemish or hair comes in contact with your length. Up and down she goes, her dancing hips always seeking for more friction. You understand their need because you share the same—Wonyoung’s splayed lips on your member feel heavenly. It’s kind of disappointing that she might as well have climbed her way out of hell.
If she did, she’s the prettiest little devil you’ve ever seen.
“Ohhh, don’t you get it?” Wonyoung asks. She moves so smoothly, you nearly forget she’s humping you rather than dancing. Her soft moan brings you back. It’s the first time you’ve heard it, and you’re melting; it sounds so seductive and innocent in the same breath.
You know her. She knows you. So it’s clear: Jang Wonyoung can be anything—supermodel, actress, dancer—but she cannot ever be innocent. 
Her gorgeous voice is silky when it twists into moans and gasps. Looking down at your crotches meeting and swaying is a better show than end-of-the-year performances. The blowjob and commanding you around must have turned her on by a lot—her flesh is hot and wanton with juices as it slides up and down you.
“You’re not going anywhere, daddy!” Wonyoung giggles. She kisses your nose, then your chest until her lipstick marks you. You burn up with feverish lust after each peck. “Daddy is only Wonyoung’s. And I knew your perfect cock would be mine when I posted those pics. I know men like daddy would do anything for me.”
“Wonyoung.” Breathe again, because you’ll need to after this, so why not do it now? “Why are you doing this?”
You thought her flirtatiousness in your office was just her coyness coming out to play. She’d rest her chin on your desk, suck a red lollipop on some days, maybe run her fingertips over your knuckles. Day in and out, she plays the same game. You didn’t know it would reach this level.
“Because I want to mess you up, daddy,” Wonyoung says. Her tongue swipes at the cavern of your mouth right until she nibbles at your lower lip. Her lipstick peppers your face. “I want to fuck my daddy up so bad he’ll never go a day without thinking of me.”
Swallow. The friction of your sexes is driving you crazy and close to the edge. All the same, you don’t want to make a fool of yourself cumming early for Wonyoung. 
What happened to your dynamics? Your relationship? There wasn’t a romantic one, but it was always you holding the reins professionally and her just being an insistent passenger. Now she’s wrapping that rein around your neck and claiming you for her own. Looks like you have control everywhere excluding the bed.
“That’s it?” you ask. Shut your eyes—just seeing her grind on you with her utterly wet cunt can make you bust. “Your career doesn’t matter to you?”
“I could say the same thing to you.” Wonyoung lifts herself up and flashes that wicked smile again. “But I want to feel this in me before you wimp out.”
You and Wonyoung fall down a bottomless hole of consequence and wrongs but Wonyoung makes sure to bottom out the first time she sits on your dick. She engulfs you whole and traps you there with her soaked, grippy walls that slide all the way down. 
You’d say her pussy has a vise grip, holding onto you like all goes wrong if it didn’t, except you think it has the grip of a vice. Need for her juices that coat you replaces the need for alcohol. Even if you get out of this suite alive, (which is a low possibility), you can see yourself always coming back for more. You could be addicted to anything—smoking, eating, cheating—but it just so happened your vice is Wonyoung.
“Daddy!” she yelps, and from there you can’t count the times she slams her cute butt down your thighs. “Oh my god, daddy!”
Her dainty, cute yells make you throb inside her. Perhaps it’s the kittenish quality of it that turns you on so much. She sounds so appealing, so fucking ruinable that it’s surprising to see that she’s doing the ruining here. Her expression in bed is more animated than the ones she makes onstage—her nearly closed eyes look upwards while her mouth falls open. 
The squeeze of her tight, wet cunt renders your knees weak. It’s a good thing you’re lying down. Wonyoung makes sure you stay that way by penetrating herself with you over and over again. Her being barely a weight on you doesn’t stop you from lying there uselessly. You know better by now not to challenge her, not when each time you enter her vagina is better than the last. Her pussy is slippery and tight, proving to be the smallest and the best fit for your shaft simultaneously. Her hole is too tight and too good. 
“Is this all for me, daddy? Huh?” Wonyoung circles her hips, making you moan, then continues her up-and-down movements. “You’re so hard, you naughty daddy. I know you got a b-boner when you looked at my posts. Now I’m giving you another one.”
You always thought of Wonyoung as justifiably confident yet arrogant. She told you once at your desk that she doesn’t deserve a stylist who only has a four-star rating. She lamented about the lack of competence of her staff preparing her comeback stage. All those you turned down to give the topics of her complaints the benefit of the doubt, but you know she’s right. She doesn’t deserve less when she’s better than the best. She doesn’t deserve less when she knows her place: a royal throne. So you can’t deny that she’s too hot to handle, undiscriminating to you whose connections always have impossibly beautiful women somewhere in there.
She’s so hot that her small breasts bouncing from behind that denim bra and tube top looks appealing. She’s so hot that the heat between her legs grows wetter. She’s so hot that when her soft ass crashes down on you again, you don’t find it a repetitive bore. 
She’s so hot that you’d let the slim, tall girl use you until dusk turns to dawn, even if the curtains behind her are drawn apart and the secret cameras get to snap a photo.
“Shit, Wonyoung,” you say, your core squeezing. “You’re so fucking tight.”
“I bet you’ve thought about this, daddy. You thought that one night, I’ll be so bad that you could book us a whole hotel and fuck me in all the rooms, just like this one. I’m right, aren’t I?”
“Yes, fuck yes.”
“You wanted to open my legs and use my little pussy all day long, huh? Until I’m yours to throw around and do whatever?”
“Y-yes.” Nod. Your face twists—she shouldn’t speak when she’s fucking you because all the filth she says makes you want to blow inside her already. It’s the kind of truth that arouses rather than hurts.
Wonyoung’s riding switches to a rapid intensity that makes you yell. She lets you in so deep to the point that her butt cheeks touch your heavy balls. She’ll drain them for sure; the pace she sets is terrifyingly quick. It seems that she becomes tighter after each bounce, and it’s not helping you hold out at all.
Watch the wildness in Wonyoung’s eyes become animalistic. It makes you all the more certain now of one solid fact: there is something seriously wrong with Jang Wonyoung.
She smirks. “Well, you got it wrong. I’m not all yours, daddy.” She leans down, resting her palms on your shoulders. “You are all mine.”
Her hands might as well be a chained collar waiting to close around your neck. Her devilish simper is supposed to scare you, not turn you on. Somehow, it does both. 
She flicks back her hair as she sits up again. Through it all, her riding doesn’t stop. “This cock?” she asks before slamming her pussy down it with a different kind of ferociousness. Cry out but she shuts you up with a furious kiss. “It’s gonna be my dirty secret. I’ll always go to daddy after my schedules so I can make him cum—over and over again.”
To think that a young girl like her has you at her beck and call is laughable, but there’s no laughing now. As you stare at Wonyoung’s fluid body and her hair bouncing beautifully, you realize she actually can have you for herself. It only took one Instagram post to lure you to her. She sees you’re falling deeper and deeper for her.
She didn’t exactly tell you how to escape.
“You gonna cum, daddy? Is my perfect pussy milking you?” 
You can do nothing except nod.
“Of course, I can feel you throbbing, i-it’s making me lose it,” gasps Wonyoung. Her whines are making you lose it yourself. “Let’s cum together, okay? You can only cum when you feel Wonyoung squirt all over your massive cock.”
She squeezes tighter on top of you when she reaches down to rub her clit. She’s in search of any kind of stimulation: the slap of her ass on your thighs, the upward shoves of your erection, the pulse of her clit. Her moans increase in their whiny girlishness. Their tender vulnerability makes you think she should be the one underneath your body though you’re aware that’s never going to happen. Wonyoung belongs on top, just the same with her name in first place in the list of brand reputation rankings, browser searches, followers.
Once upon a time, you took charge over her. You managed her lessons, her videos, her behind-the-scenes duties. Funny how it’s the opposite now, wherein she jounces on you freely with the domineering message of caution: don’t cum until she does.
And god, is she making that hard. Everything about her is so attractive, from the bounce of her hair to her midriff showing your entering cock to her pretty pink pussy clutching you. What gets you, however, is her face—everyone loves looking at that face. Today, you’re under an aphrodisiac for it: you’re in love with the roll of her eyes as she rides you, the pink on her cheeks, the part of her lips. 
“Fuck yes! Ugh, daddy, you feel so good inside me…” Wonyoung’s core clenches and slides your penis along its textured, sensitive walls. Her gasp is straight out of fantasies. “You’re balls deep, see? Look how your meat’s filling me. My pussy’s going to be so sore after this.” She chuckles. “Wait, who says we’re stopping?”
You shudder. You’re getting very close. Your earlier orgasm still has its effects on you. You’re afraid you’re going to do something you shouldn’t under her bedroom law. She’ll imprison you with her thighs and waterboard you with all the girl cum she promised until you confess that she’s the best fuck you ever had. 
“Daddy’s going to cum so hard he’s probably going to breed me. Then I’ll, oh, I’ll feel it inside my tummy and it’s going to be a scandal. Wouldn’t you like that? Getting to knock up Jang Wonyoung? I can hear you moaning. I think you really like that. I think that’s why you’re thrusting up in me. You want to be a real daddy and make your baby girl a mommy. That’s so fucked up, you know that, right? You shouldn’t be having sex with me, let alone breeding me. But you’re a fucking weak old man, so of course you like that.”
You’re burning up. They’re the signs of what’s to come. If her confident words inspire her young fans, her monologues of lust make you feel like you’re the worst person in the world. Of course, the boner is part of the effect. 
You groan. “Wonyoung, baby girl, please—”
“Oh god, daddy, I’m going to cum!” she squeals. Her emotions control her and tell her to go harder, bounce harder, squeeze harder. She’s pushing past her limits. “Agh, agh, you’re cumming, too, right? Cum for me. You’ll be—fuck, my daddy’s going to make me cum! I’m squirting all over his cock!”
She slams herself down roughly and repeatedly till your lower body’s flooded with her cum. You can’t take it anymore. It feels like dying because you swear you can see stars in the ceiling, stars of lust in her eyes. La petite mort. How poetic, since Wonyoung’s screaming still sounds as beautiful as her singing and speaking. 
Her shouts are close to breaking the windows’ glass. Anyone can figure out what’s happening without the destruction of the pane—the curtains are wide open, letting the world see the youngest icon of the new generation pumping herself onto her co-worker. 
You wonder if there’s actually poor watchers out there seeing you cream Wonyoung’s princess pussy, grab her ass to guide her, and kiss her when she leans down.
Wonyoung tastes the best when she’s squirting.
-
Consequences always catch up no matter what. You can hide under a cloak, in another country, underneath the earth in a secluded bunker and all that won’t help. You’ll be stuck dealing with the outcome, thorns from a rose you thought was too pretty to have some. 
That’s the first thing you remember when you wake up, wrapped in the bed sheets and by Wonyoung’s arms. Someone’s calling you. Bad news: it’s your boss—the ringtone itself sounds angry, too. 
“Hello?” you ask. You can’t help the grogginess of your morning voice, try as you may. If your boss didn’t know what happened, he can perfectly guess from the exhaustion riddling your greeting. 
“You dumb little shit.” You can feel the spittle of your boss’ insult from miles away, cities away, screens away. “You’re lucky I’m friends with the fucking CEO.”
“What happened?”
“Don’t give me that. Some janitor saw you from the wing. I needed to hear it from you: did you fuck Jang Wonyoung?”
Unexpectedly, a veiny hand you remember holding something else grabs your phone. Wonyoung leans against your shoulder wearing nothing as she holds the phone to her ear.
“Why?” she quips, loud and clear. “Wouldn’t you?”
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fayes-fics · 10 months
Text
It's That Time Of Year
Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, modern AU
Summary: It's that time of year... when you could use a fake boyfriend.
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Warnings: 18+ smut, minors DNI, oral sex (m to f), vaginal sex, dirty talk, hand as gag, quiet sex, sex in childhood bedroom. Fake dating, family dynamics, lots of feelings, friends to lovers.
Word Count: 11.3 k (eek Im sorry)
Authors Note: Here's my tropetacular winter 2023 Benepic! Request fill for @broooookiecrisp (HERE), who wanted fake boyfriend trope with Benedict accompanying the reader to the USA to spend Christmas with her family. I hope you like it, my dear. Thanks to @colettebronte for the read-through. Enjoy and happy holidays! 🎄
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December 20th 
“Thank you,” Benedict clinks his champagne glass against yours, “for everything.”
You blush and look down from his intense blue-eyed gaze, staring instead at the untied bowtie around his collar that seems almost more attractive than when fastened.
“It was nothing,” you demure.
“It was not nothing!” he scoffs, giving you a gentle shoulder bump as you both lean on the high-top table.
“Alright, it was my job then,” you modify, giving him a modest smile as you hotch slightly - beautiful though they are, you cannot wait to take off these high-heels.
“And you are excellent at your job,” he asserts before downing the rest of his champagne and refilling both glasses from the bottle before you. 
He is lingering much longer than you thought he might, long after all his family and all the guests have left. The event was over a while ago, and all around you, the venue staff are clearing tables and stacking chairs.
Tonight was indeed a rousing success. Your first-time event managing the end-of-year fundraising gala for the Bridgerton Family Foundation, they hit a new record amount raised. Standing next to you is the newly minted CEO of that organisation, Benedict Bridgerton, looking far too dashing in his custom-fitted tuxedo. Empathetic and naturally in tune with the needs of others, he is indeed the perfect replacement to run the charitable arm of the family business now that his mother has decided to retire. In previous years, you both took deputy roles - him to his mother, you to your old boss - this was the first year you both stepped up to the plate to run things, and if you do say so yourself, you have both done an excellent job of it. A delightful working partnership built on years of friendship since meeting at university as an exchange student.
“You deserve a long Christmas break after this,” he breezes.
“Going home to the States in a couple of days,” you nod. “I’m both looking forward to it and dreading it in equal measure, to be honest,” you confess, this second glass of champagne acting like a truth serum. You didn't want to or even get the chance to drink earlier, but a little tipple to round off the rewarding night is lovely, especially in present company.
“How come?” he seems genuinely curious, his forehead knitting adorably. Of course, he wouldn't understand; he comes from an idyllic family.
“I am very much the black sheep,” you shrug, twirling a finger absent-mindedly around the rim of your glass. “Being childless, unmarried and single at thirty-three in a midwestern family is unheard of and thus the subject of much ridicule.”
“Wow,” his eyebrows shoot up, “that's…,” he hesitates.
“Judgemental? Parochial? Small-minded?” you supply dryly on his behalf.
“I was going to say traditional… but sure, those work too,” he chuckles.
You giggle a little, then sigh. “So a mixed blessing, really. It's nice to see them all; I just wish they were a bit less them, you know?” you gesture vaguely into the air.
“A boyfriend would really take the heat off?” he queries.
“Hah!” you can’t contain the bubble of amusement at the mere thought. “Chance would be a fine thing. But, yes, that likely would take the edge off the worst of their barbs.” 
“Well, I’m at a loose end,” he comments, seemingly changing the subject. “The family is spread to the four corners of the globe this Christmas. Mum is going to Costa Rica for a retired ladies' trip with Lady D. Don't ask,” he adds amusingly, holding up his hands. “Kate and Ant are taking their kids to Lapland, and my various siblings are travelling or staying with partners. Weirdly, it’ll be our first Christmas apart. At least we will all reunite for New Year's at Aubrey Hall.”
“Aww, that sounds nice,” you offer neutrally.
“What I'm saying, y/n, is…,” he continues slowly as if waiting for the penny to drop, “if you need a fake boyfriend, I am available. It’s the very least I can do after all of this,” he explains, gesturing around the room. “Plus, it might be novel to experience a typical American Christmas,” he shrugs casually.
You can’t help it; you gape at him. Completely floored. The idea is utterly left-of-field and yet so exciting your heart pounds. If there is one downside to working so closely with Benedict these last few months, it has been the exponential growth of your inappropriate feelings for him. He is so sweet and handsome; no one would be immune, frankly. It was bad enough when you were at university together; now, well, it’s slightly lethal. Your mind boggles at him playing the role of a doting boyfriend; your body, however, seems very enthused, a warm flush creeping over your skin at the mere thought.
He chuckles nervously, a likely reaction to your stunned silence. “Listen, it was just a silly suggestion; you don’t have t-” 
“Yes!” you squeak, interrupting and grabbing his jacket cuff boldly when he seems to be withdrawing. “Please,” you add almost as an afterthought, unsure how to thank someone for such a generous offer.
His face breaks out into the most handsome grin.
“Excellent! Then, it's a date!” he exclaims, tilting his glass towards yours again. “Well, a fake date,” he amends with a lopsided grin that makes your stomach flip.
Oh god. What am I letting myself in for?!
___
December 23rd
“Are you sure about this? You can still back out...” you offer, fidgeting in the bag-drop queue at Heathrow three days later. 
“Please. What else am I going to do? Sit around my flat, billy-no-mates, and eat a sad M&S ready meal?! You are literally rescuing me,” he counters, probably exaggerating for your amusement.
Very much following the motto of not looking a gift horse in the mouth, you had texted Benedict your flight details that same night, and he has made it all happen in the hours since. Somehow, he managed to wave the Brigerton magic wand and secure what was probably the last seat on your direct flight two days before Christmas. Unluckily for him, he has to slum it in economy with the rest of the plebs like yourself. He couldn't even get a seat near you; he's stuck down the back, in the middle, near the galley.
“How about we swap seats at least?” you offer, guilt creeping in, looking at your printed boarding pass. Not only is Benedict doing you a favour, but he’s also pretzelling his tall self into an uncomfortable seat. The least you can do is offer him your aisle seat.
“I’ll be fine,” he dismisses, waving a hand and fishing out his passport as you are called to the desk.
“Travelling together?” the pretty, painted lady breezes at you, holding out a perfectly manicured hand to take your passport and ticket. Then you watch her practically melt as she claps eyes on Benedict.
Tsk. Typical.
“Not exactl…” you begin.
“Yes,” he cuts in with a winning smile. “Sadly, we couldn't get seats together, though,” he pouts a touch theatrically.
“Oh! Well, let me see what I can do about that… It is Christmas, after all,” she winks at him conspiratorially, then taps on her keyboard.
A few minutes later, your bags are checked in, and you are upgraded to Premium Economy. The lady was apologetic that you still couldn't get seats together but a row apart instead. You are pretty sure if there was space, the handsome bastard would have gotten you upgraded to business without even trying.
Oh, to be a pretty Bridgerton.
___
Twelve hours later, you are in a taxi, tired but grateful for the additional legroom on the flight, even managing a few hours of light napping. Benedict is similarly sleepy, both of your heads lolling around as the car zips down the road. By the time you reach your family home, it’s evening, but to your body clocks, it's the middle of the night.
As you slide out of the taxi, a long arm wraps around your shoulders, and you startle.
“Best to look convincing from the off,” Benedict mutters as he throws his duffle bag on top of your suitcase and trundles them up the path with his other hand.
You nod and dutifully wrap your arm around his waist over his puffer coat, slightly annoyed at how good it feels, as if your arm belongs there. 
“This is so American it's almost a cliche,” he jests, looking up at your parents' house, holiday string lights twinkling in the dusk.
You giggle at his remark and bump him with your hip, quickly escalating into a friendly tussle. He hauls you into his arms and swings you in front of him.
“What are you doing?” you whisper, your limbic system alive at the feel of him pressed into you even behind heavy coats.
“Just go with it,” he responds with an easy confidence and that dazzling smile. As if in slow motion, his lips descend, and you reel as they lightly brush yours, an explosion behind your ribs at this passing touch.
Over your shoulder, you hear the front door opening and realise it’s for show, for a particular audience. You are grateful for the forethought but completely discombobulated from this partial kiss.
How am I going to survive a week of this?
“Mrs y/l/n, Mr y/l/n,” he calls as you linger in his arms, not wanting to turn around just yet.
“Well, hello there. This must be the famous Mr Bridgerton,” your dad's opening line. “We have heard so very little about you. Before yesterday anyway,” he adds, already twisting the knife in early as you pull up to the porch.
“That may well be because I asked her not to,” Benedict rebuts smoothly, releasing you to give a firm handshake. “I love the element of surprise,” he adds with a smile you have seen him deploy before, a weapon’s grade charm offensive.
Your mother’s face is a picture. “Well, well, we certainly didn't expect someone quite so handsome to accompany our daughter,” she drawls, verging on flirtatious. 
Benedict drapes his arm around your shoulders and nuzzles your hair. “Whyever not? She is simply wonderful,” he sighs, his hot breath tickling your scalp before letting you go again.
Damn, he is good at this.
“Hello, mom, dad…” you greet politely before moving in for a short hug from both.
“Happy holidays, darling. Let's get inside,” your mother fusses.
Within a few minutes, after some casual pleasantries are exchanged as you remove coats, you watch your mother give Benedict a tour of their home, including, to your chagrin, your childhood bedroom, which is a time capsule from your teen years. At least the dog-eared band posters have been taken down. As you drift back to the living room, Christmas music plays from a speaker behind the tree. Your family loves to go all out on the holiday decorating. It does feel festive and cosy, though.
“It will be a full house with all of our kids and their spouses staying tonight. So there are no spare rooms. You are on the sofabed in the den, Mr Bridgerton,” your dad comments, gesturing to the room next door; the message very clear.
“That's fine,” Benedict huffs genially, “and please, call me Ben.” 
“I might actually head to bed now,” you admit over a stifled yawn. “My body thinks it's 2am.”
“Same,” Benedict chimes.
“Oh, you should stay up, try to get into the timezone,” your mother clucks, always with an opinion about how you are not doing things how she would. “Ben has not yet been introduced to Tucker, Travis, Tegan and their spouses. They are all still out at dinner…” she indicates, listing your siblings and looking most perturbed at your decision.
“Tomorrow, Mom,” you assure.
“Alright,” she capitulates with a sigh, mostly when she sees Benedict yawn behind his hand. 
“Goodnight…” you offer to all and go to leave the room, but as you get to the door, Benedict stops you with an arm shooting out.
“Don't I get a goodnight kiss, my love?” he pouts.
At first, you look up at him shocked, then a flick of his eyes over your shoulder makes you realise he is continuing the ruse. 
“Maybe,” you flirt back, jetlag somehow making you daring. An ideal excuse to be coquettish, even though your parents likely can't hear your exchange above the music playing. They can certainly see your body language, though.
“Oh, I see. What do I have to do to earn it?” Benedict plays along, a dangerous smile and a large hand low on your lumbar spine, pulling you into him. 
“Tell me you will miss not sleeping next to me,” you boldly request, a little cheeky smile tugging at your lips to see how far he will let you push this.
A long finger swipes a tendril of hair out of your face and behind your ear, a thumb curling under your chin.
“Every night I'm not sleeping next to you is my misfortune,” he replies, sounding wistful, his eyes seeming to burn with something approaching sincerity. It makes your stomach swoop like you are standing on a cliff edge on a windy day.
“Good answer,” you stumble in acknowledgement, pushing up onto your tip toes, heart in your mouth.
“I do what I can,” he answers against your lips and then draws you into a slow, plush kiss. 
His mouth doesn't open, but it doesn't matter; the hint of wetness on his pursed lips has your body reacting, a charge ripping through your being. A sudden yearning for him to push you against the wall and plunder your mouth with his tongue. When he withdraws, you know your pupils are blown wide, but you are taken aback that his are, too; the dampness on his lip shines in the glow of the Christmas tree. 
Your father pointedly clearing his throat breaks the spell, and you jump apart as if burned.
“Sorry,” you both mumble and Benedict pulls the most adorable ‘oopsie, my bad’ face. 
“Goodnight, y/n,” he says tacitly.
“Goodnight, Ben.”
As you climb the stairs slowly, exhaling the breath it feels like you have been holding since he grabbed your arm, you know that kiss will be replaying in your head for weeks. If he keeps this up, you may well combust. 
This was a fantastically bad idea.
___
December 24th
You awaken on Christmas Eve when it’s still dark outside. A glance at your phone says it’s right after 4:30am. Already knowing you won’t get any more sleep, you throw open your case and grab slippers and a hoodie, deciding to head down to make a coffee.
You almost jump out of your skin when you see a silhouette sitting at the kitchen table.
“Sorry,” Benedict atones as he sees you clutching your chest, “time zones.”
“Same… coffee?”
“Please…”
As you potter around, making a pot as quiet as possible, he scrolls on his phone. You join him once it’s brewing.
“How is the sofa bed?” you ask, wincing guiltily.
“I've slept on worse,” he obfuscates jovially. 
“Sorry, if I’d known there wouldn't be a spare bed, I would have booked a hotel,” you apologise, rubbing your temples.
“No, it’s tradition to stay with family at Christmas,” he rebukes with a smile.
“Thank you again for all this,” you mutter, shoving your hands into your hoodie pockets. “Have you done this fake boyfriend thing before?” your question is only partially in jest.
“No, what makes you say that?” he huffs bemused.
“You, uhh, have been doing an excellent acting job,” you shrug. “Thank you, by the way. I don’t think they quite believe I could land you, but I’d argue you have been very convincing regardless….”
“Don't say that,” he frowns, cutting in. 
“You don’t think they buy it?” concerned things may not be working as well as you believed.
“Not that,” he waves a dismissive hand, “the other thing. Why wouldn’t they believe you could ‘land me’?” he rounds off with a quotation gesture.
You bark a laugh. “Have you seen you?  
“Stop,” he seems genuinely ticked. “That is all shit. I would be lucky to have you,” he mumbles, not meeting your eye, staring out of the French doors into the inky blackness. It won’t be sunrise for another three hours this time of year. “I am lucky, in fact, to have you as a friend,” he adds, his thoughts sounding far away.
“Well, same. I still have no idea how to repay you for all of this…” you admit.
“I already said, none needed. Why would I not choose a little foreign adventure with a good friend when the alternative is Christmas alone?!” he scoffs as the coffee machine beeps.
Unsure quite what to say, you get up to make a cup, knowing without asking how he takes his. Retaking your seat, you pick at the idea again.
“I think we should strategise…” you mutter into your mug.
“About what?”
“The plan. Now you have some inkling of what they are like, maybe we should talk tactics…?” you trail off, not sure even yourself where you are going with this.
“It's simple, isn't it?” he counters, taking a gulp of coffee. “We hold hands, hug and kiss occasionally, you know, act like a couple….” he shrugs as if it's the simplest thing in the world. Maybe it is to him; his heart probably doesn't pound when you so much as touch.
“Okay, well, I guess we can improvise. But let me know if it all gets too much. Send me a secret code or something,” you offer.
“Like a safe word?” he chuckles.
“Something like that,” you allow, trying to mask the heat you feel creeping up your sternum at the very thought.
Just then, his phone vibrates on the table.
“Sorry, it's Ant. I should probably take this,” he apologises, standing up.
You swallow a sip of your coffee, trying not to think too hard about anything, when suddenly he leans over your shoulder from behind, the phone still buzzing in his hand.
“By the way, my safeword is Byron,” he rumbles silkily into your ear. “Not that I’ll ever need it,” he adds, walking away casually while you try to bring your heart rate back to normal.
Dear God, this man is going to kill me.
___
You take your coffee back to bed when Benedict doesn't reappear after a few minutes and end up passing out again for a couple of hours. By the time you are awake again, the house is a hive of noise and activity. You pass Kallie, your oldest brother's wife, in the hallway, and she punches your arm lightly.
“Welcome home, and well fucking done!” she winks, and you frown, confused what she’s talking about. She jerks a thumb over her shoulder. “That delicious slice of Britishness in there,” she elucidates. 
Shit! It just occurs to you that by falling back asleep, you left Benedict alone to fend for himself in the melee of your family. The poor man must be mauled alive by now.
So when you enter the kitchen, the last thing you expect to see is the sight before you. Benedict, with an apron on, tossing American-style pancakes like a pro on the hotplate while your family chatters around him, applauding as he serves up another perfect-looking batch.
“Darling!” he calls when he sees you. “Come here!” he exclaims warmly, holding out his arms.
Unsure what else to do and powerless to resist the opportunity, you walk over and allow yourself to be swept into his arms. He presses a kiss onto your cheek. He smells like butter and syrup, and you want to burrow into him.
“Sorry I left you alone in the lion's den,” you say close to his ear so only he can hear.
He smiles into your hair. “They are fine, honestly; I can handle it,” he assures mutely.
You pull back and swipe a tiny fleck of batter from his face, enjoying the round of his cheekbone as you do. What makes an odd weight land on your ribs is how his pupils dilate fractionally as you lick the dot off your thumb.
“Delicious, Mr Bridgerton,” again, unable to stop yourself from flirting with him now you have the excuse.
Something in him looks almost wild as your gaze locks.
“Get a room!” your brother, Tucker, jeers from the table.
Part of you wants to sass back some version of ‘apparently we’re not allowed’ and ‘I wish’, but all you can do is smile at Benedict as he mirrors your expression.
“More, please, Mr Brid-un,” your youngest nephew toddles over, holding up his plate expectantly.
Benedict finally looks away and ruffles the little kid’s hair. “Certainly, Brandon,” he offers warmly.
“What I find fascinating is how a proper British gentleman knows how to make good old-fashioned American pancakes,” your mother pipes up from her seat at the kitchen island.
“Oh, my nanny was an American,” Benedict waves the spatula as he pours more batter onto the hotplate and begins a new batch.
“Your grandmother was from the colonies?” Travis mocks, feigning outrage.
“Oh no… not that sort. My umm nanny nanny, as in the lady who looked after us as kids,” he explains, looking somewhat sheepish.
“Shhiittttt,” your sister Teegan drawls, looking up from her phone for the first time. “You’re like actual rich, huh?”
“Language Tee!” your mother warns from across the room.
Teegan pulls a face and then turns her attention back to Benedict, awaiting his response.
“Please, can you all not be so… y/l/n,” you cut in, holding up your hands to the gathered family. “For once, can you all just…?” you taper off, hoping they will read between the lines.
“How’d you two meet?” Dean, Teegan’s husband, calls out, ignoring your plea completely.
“We actually met at university many years ago,” Benedict explains, flipping the pancakes as they bubble. “But we started working together last year on various projects, and well, we grew much closer.” 
So far, so truthful.
“Then, well, one memorable day, when we successfully wrapped up a project we had worked on so hard together, I realised she meant so much more to me than a friend,” Benedict continues, sounding so sincere you almost believe it yourself. A tiny flutter in your chest that the project he refers to could be the Gala. “I kept it to myself for a while, but late one night, I couldn't resist, and I confessed my feelings. I am the luckiest man alive because it turns out she felt the same. And, well… here we are,” he concludes, shooting you a look so loaded you forget it's a yarn for a few seconds.
“Friends-to-lovers, I stan,” Claire, your other sister-in-law, comments. She always has her head stuck in some romance book.
As Benedict serves the next batch, the focus of the room is pulled to your nieces and nephews as they overload their pancakes with toppings, and you are grateful to be out of the glare of the family spotlight temporarily.
“How did I do?” Benedict murmurs into your ear as he sidles up next to you, wrapping an arm around your back. There's a tinge of pride in his voice. He knows he has them eating out the palm of his hand, and fuck if it isn't so attractive.
“I should tip you…” you joke, not wanting to give away quite how flustered you are.
“I accept payment in kisses,” he breathes, his smouldering stare sliding down to your lips as you crane your head to look up at him. 
It's only a few minutes later, as you grab a pancake from the stack that you realise he didn't say that at volume anyone else could hear… it was purely for you. And you have no earthly idea what to do with that thought.
___
The rest of Christmas Eve passes with your family’s usual rituals, with Benedict beside you, playing the doting boyfriend to perfection. Each brush of his makes your adrenaline spike—a divine torture. 
While dinner is cooking in the afternoon, your parents usher most of you out of the house for a walk in the bracing cold to build up an appetite. And so you stroll, Benedict’s gloved hand in yours.
“So Ben, is everyone in London not married with kids, or is it only my sister who can't seem to figure it out despite her old age?” your sister Teegan digs as she pushes the buggy next to you.
“Well, we are a similar age, and I'm not married with kids either,” he points out breezily.
“Yeah, but…” she halts, realising there is no response she can think of. “Wait, why don't you have kids yet? Don’t you want a family? I thought you said you had lots of brothers and sisters?”
“I do come from a big family, yes. And I suppose one day, yes, I do want kids of my own,” he adds, seemingly honest as you listen intently, your heartbeat in your ears, “but I feel no rush yet.”
“So you’re not knocking this one up anytime soon then?” your brother Tucker stirs, checking your shoulder roughly from the other side.
You can't help but feel a blush darken your cheeks at that and refuse to look up at Benedict. You open your mouth to tell Tucker to shut up, but Benedict cuts across you.
“If anyone has come close to being someone I would consider having kids with, it's your sister,” he admits casually, as if talking about the weather. But for you, it feels like you are back on that proverbial cliff edge about to dive over, heart racing. It takes every fibre of your being to keep walking and acting naturally, grateful for the gloves between your joined hands; not sure you could handle his skin touching yours as he says such things.
“Ooooooo,” Tucker singsongs, “going to the chapel, and they’re gonna get mar...”
“Cut it out!” you grouse.
He peels a laugh, then jogs on ahead to catch up with Dean.
“I’m sorry about that,” your apology hushed as you keep walking, Teegan falling behind you to deal with one of her kids' tantrums.
“Why? It's an inevitable question when you meet your other half’s family,” he points out, squeezing your hand reassuringly as you wander as a pair.
“Yes, but… it's a bit much, considering they just met you hours ago. They are intentionally stirring the pot. Trying to scare you off,” you frown, realising what they are doing as you say it aloud.
Benedict stops walking, and it makes you halt, too. “Nothing could scare me off,” he assures, his face soft with understanding as he cups your jaw. His cold, damp glove is a balm to your flushed, embarrassed face.
“Right,” you nod, “cos this is all fake…” you add quietly, trying to hide the defeated tone.
“Anyone who knows how great you are would not be scared off by the idea of a future with you,” Benedict says soothingly, a thumb stroking your cheekbone.
“Well, when you meet a candidate who fits that bill, send them over to me, yeah?” you quip brittly as you look off into the distance, unable to meet his hazy, sincere eyes.
His response is interrupted by your niece tugging on his coat.
“Uncle Ben, can I sit on your shoulders? Please? Daddy already has Brandon, and my feet are so tired,” she whines in that dramatic way only little ones do.
Benedict laughs and releases you. “Certainly, Sofia,” he smiles as he hauls her onto his shoulders, uncaring of the mess her little boots smear onto his coat as he does so.
“Faster! Go faster!” she orders, and genially, Benedict obeys, moving ahead and breaking into a light jog as she giggles loudly and holds onto his chin.
You try to ignore the flutter in your chest at the sight of him with a kid on his shoulders, as if he were born to do so.
This was such a mistake…
___
“When are you moving home, y/n?”
You knew this was likely coming. The question your mum has to ask every time you visit. And every year, your answer is the same.
“I don't think I will be, Mom,” you explain calmly as you pass the plate of peas to your sister, not wanting to look at Benedict, who sits opposite you at the long table. “I love London. It feels like home,” you add with a shrug.
“Yes, but this living abroad thing is supposed to be a phase—a young person thing. You are mid-thirties now. It's time you settled down,” she frowns.
“I am settled,” you reply neutrally, “I have a place of my own that I love.”
“Yes, but an apartment, sorry ‘flat’,” she self-corrects sarcastically, “that’s not a real home. A home is a house with a garden in a safe town with good schools for your children,” she lectures.
This line of discussion used to annoy and rile you up, but you have become weary of it over the years. The rest of your family is tucking into their food but listening smugly, having towed the traditional family line.
“I think home can be many things,” Benedict pipes up from across the table. “A home is about where you feel safe and secure, surely Mrs y/l/n?”
“Well, yes…” your mother falters, slightly taken aback by his interruption but still charmed by his effortless congeniality.
“Then I would say your daughter’s home is London,” he smiles disarmingly. “You should see her there; I encourage you to visit sometime. She has a home she has made beautiful. She has many friends, and she is amazing at her job. She is happy. I, for one, cannot imagine her anywhere else.”
Again, you can feel your heart beating at his sweet words, even knowing they are all for show; it's lovely that someone has your back for once, defending your choices.
“But what of the schools, Mr Bridgerton?” your dad piles in, “I have heard nightmares of the school system in the inner cities, in this country and yours,” he shudders.
“My family has always gone to a superb prep school in Chelsea. I see no reason why our children could not do the same when the time comes,” Benedict responds with a winning smile.
You almost drop the corn casserole at that line.
Plonking it heavily on the table and taking a deep breath, you finally pluck the courage to look over at him. Looking back at you is a playful smile and a wink. And suddenly, you know what he is doing. It likely appears genuine to others, but you know him too well; you know all his facial tells. He is doing this for sport. To entertain you. The kaleidoscope of emotions you feel is near exhausting, relief mixed with a tang of disappointment that it's all for show.
“Well, that's wonderful news, Benedict,” your mother squeaks. “I cannot wait to hear more once you are engaged,” never failing to find an opportunity to take a dig.
“You will be the first to hear, I promise,” he smiles winningly and takes a bite of food. “This is delicious, by the way,” he adds, “I hope you will share the recipe with me, seeing as we will likely be family one day...”
And just like that, he expertly manoeuvres your mother onto the only topic she loves more than marriage - cooking. As if he could intuit how to steer the conversation. Relieved, you sit back and finally take a deep breath, then a bite of your admittedly delicious plate. You are even grateful he manages to distract them long enough that there are no jibes about your weight.
Maybe this wasn't such a mistake…
___
A few hours later, with the little ones tucked up in bed, the adults gather around the tree with the fireplace roaring and the festive music softly playing. It's time for gift exchange, a family tradition away from the hubbub of Christmas morning with the focus on the children ripping through all the gifts Santa left for them.
You are enjoying the buzz a second large glass of wine provides when the focus turns to you. Benedict sits beside you and slides a hand onto your knee. Still, your body reacts, but you attempt to act as if it doesn't make your blood pump hard in your head.
“Benedict, we didn't know you were coming, so I'm sorry we have no gift for you to open,” your mother says sheepishly, “and y/n, we have done as you always ask; we have sent you a gift card over email,” she explains, “which makes me sad as you have no gift to unwrap….”
“That's fine, Mom, thank you. And don't worry, I don't need a gift,” you assure, taking another swig.
“Actually….” Benedict clears his throat, “I have a gift for my girlfriend if that is okay?”
You look agog at him.
“But… I didn't get you anything,” you splutter, even as he moves his hand from you and reaches behind his back, revealing a small navy velvet box.
“Don't worry. It's nothing really, just something small,” Benedict assures, even as you can feel everyone’s eyes on you as you reluctantly let him place it in your hands.
Slowly, you pull at the tail of the lovely soft gold ribbon until it relents. With your heart in your mouth, you snap open the box. Nestled in more navy velvet is a tiny, beautiful crystal penguin, your favourite animal.
“Ben…” you are lost for all other words, tears prickling the corners of your eyes.
“I remember you loved the larger one my mum had on her desk,” he explains lowly as you stare transfixed by all the facets catching the twinkling light. “Every time we had a meeting, you would stare at it or play with it. So I knew I had to get you one too, for your desk… or wherever you want to put it,” he modifies sweetly.
You can't help it - the swell of emotions makes you throw your arms around him as you clutch the precious item. It's like he has managed to distil everything you could want from a Christmas gift - something personal, tailored to you, nothing too extravagant but small, elegant and beautiful. And that he had the forethought to bring it across the Atlantic with him makes your heart burst even more. He is possibly the best friend you could ever have. You fervently wish he was so much more.
“I can't believe you remember that,” you mumble. “This is perfect and beautiful. Thank you, Ben, thank you so much.”
“Merry Christmas, my love,” he says into your hair at a volume you know is designed to be heard by the room.
“Merry Christmas,” you return quieter, only for him.
Vaguely, you hear your mother moving on to hand a gift to another, perhaps embarrassed by the display of affection between you. Grateful that the family focus seems to have shifted to someone else, you go to pull away from the embrace, but Benedict draws you tighter into him. 
“Lovers don't let go so quickly,” he whispers. “Now I'm going to kiss you again if that is okay…”
Your tummy flips. “Okay…” you barely struggle out the word.
Then his hand is on your cheek, and time seems to slow like treacle; his eyes burn into yours as he moves in, then flutter closed as his lips meet yours. Again, it is like a rollercoaster, a thrilling plunge as his lips move over yours. It's like the previous night, respectful with a closed mouth but so sweet and promising, so much more a whole ripple runs through your body. You need more, so much more, desperate to climb into his lap and demand a real kiss, audience be damned.  When you part, he tilts his forehead against yours and smiles gently, licking his lip as if savouring the taste.
“I'm glad you like it. The gift that is,” he clarifies, a sweet mumble.
You giggle. “I love it, Ben, thank you. I'm sorry I didn't get you anything; I feel terrible.”
“Being here with you is gift enough,” he assures in a voice that melts your insides, which you assume is for the audience.
My god, this man will be the death of me.
The rest of the evening passes in a pleasant fog of wine, your siblings holding court and telling stories as you listen, feeling the weight of Benedict’s hand again on your leg as he sips on a whiskey. Once again, you feel the creeping of jetlag and decide to turn in around 10pm. You give Benedict a peck on the cheek before he can draw you into another confounding kiss and make your escape upstairs with a glass of eggnog and your book.
As you settle into bed, you try not to let your thoughts spiral as you catch sight of the crystal penguin in its box. Instead, you tell yourself he is a good friend and rich; it's likely nothing to him, and not to read too much into it.
___
December 25th 
At some point, you drift off to sleep, book in hand, the timezone still catching you out. You only realise it when you are awoken suddenly around 2am by a knock on your door.
“Come in,” you croak, sitting up and rubbing your eyes to adjust to the light; you had fallen asleep with the bedside lamp on low while reading.
The door opens ajar, and Benedict’s handsome face pops in. “I saw your light on…” he says softly, “just wanted to check on you.”
You put your book aside, pull the covers around your neck and feel an odd flutter as he closes the door behind him. He looks cosy in long tartan pyjama bottoms and a soft dark t-shirt.
“I'm sure your dad would kill me if he knew I were here,” he jests as he hovers a few feet away.
“Come sit,” you pat the bed next to you, even as you feel strange about him being here, dead of night on Christmas Day. 
He nods gratefully and perches on the edge of your bed. It's a full-size mattress, bigger than a twin, but not a double bed. You can feel his weight tugging the bedding tight over your thighs.
“Thank you again for my gift, truly,” you gesture to the box on your bedside table.
“I had to. I couldn't think of anything more… you...” Benedict smiles that demure smile with downcast eyes that always makes you want to shake him and tell him to stop looking so fucking adorable. Or mount him. Or both. You have to bite your lip to stop blurting out your errant thoughts.
“But still to buy me such a wonderful gift and put up with my family… I mean… you deserve a medal,” you shrug.
A hand clamps onto your knee through the bedding, but it still surprises you. 
“Stop it,” he gruffs. “I'm going to need you to stop. Seriously. I chose to come here. It's been fun. Something different. Yes, your family is a bit… intense, but everyone’s is. Each has its own special blend of crazy. You’ve seen the Bridgerton brand of dysfunctional up close,” he points out, knowing without saying more how much you have watched them bicker over the years.
“But you’ve said all those lovely things, made up all these amazing believable stories…” you argue back weakly.
“Every single thing I have said to your family has been the truth,” he responds solemnly.
You replay a few choice record-scratch moments in your head. “But what about the stuff about me being the person you could see yourself having kids with and where these imaginary kids would go to school…” you point out, wincing as you do.
“I told no lies,” he answers each syllable enunciated slowly, staring you down.
It feels like your whole world tilts when he utters those words.
“What are you saying?” you query, breathier than you mean to sound but needing him to spell it out.
He sighs, but a mischievous grin twitches the corner of his mouth. “You are much smarter than this; don't be obtuse now, y/n,” he rumbles, something in the challenging way he says it catches a fire behind your ribs.
“Ben…” you warn, so many contradictory feelings at once.
“You are all the things I said and more, and you must know how amazing you are,” he offers softly as you feel your eyes misting.
“Please don't,” your last vestige of resistance, still not believing what he says can possibly be true, too close to a festive miracle. Part of you thinks that at any moment, you will wake up alone and bereft.
His fingertips brush your cheek, and you inhale sharply and look up to see him inches from your face.
“Fine, if you don't somehow believe my words, maybe you’ll believe my deeds…”
It's the last few words out of his mouth before his lips meet yours.
This time, it's not for an audience; it's just for the two of you, and it almost stops your heart. A hesitant, soft, sweet brush that becomes more as he leans in and deepens the kiss. His lips part yours as your mind grinds to a halt, tentatively following his lead, kissing him back… the catalyst, the permission he needs. A large hand rounds behind your head and pulls you forward. Suddenly, it's a tidal wave, his tongue rolling greedily over yours, becoming hungry, urgent, desperate, your body awash with chemicals, scarcely able to believe Benedict, the star of every one of your spicy dreams, is here in your childhood bedroom, kissing the very life out of you in the early hours of Christmas Day.
“Lay down,” he murmurs into your skin as his lips glide over your cheek, and you follow his order without thought, shuffling down obediently until you lie flat and stare up at him transfixed. 
It’s as if he’s taken your disbelief as a challenge to prove how very real this is. With one hand, he tosses aside the covers and crawls over you until he is engulfing you, surrounding you with his scent that makes your mouth water. His lips are hot on your neck as his hands map your body, lingering in places you are self-conscious about. 
“Do you have any idea how sexy you are?” he sighs as if disputing your internal monologue, his breath ghosting warm over your collarbone. 
“Stop…” you demure, wriggling under him, feeling bashful.
“No..” his crooked smile is lethal as his head pops up from worrying your throat with a little edge of his teeth. His hand skates your clothed breast, and on instinct, you push up into it, your nipple hardening as the heat of his palm seeps through your nightshirt. “Please take off your top,” he implores, his mouth finding your lips again. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve dreamt of touching your naked body.”
“I can’t believe this…” you mutter, shaky, confounded that it could be true—the man you desire desiring you back just as wantonly. He lowers his body between your legs, surging his hips so you feel something insistent inside his pyjamas.
“Now, do you believe me?” he dusks into your ear.
“Benedict…” falls from your lips as an excited shudder.
“Say my name again, please,” he huffs right against your cheekbone, pinning you under him with his pelvis.
“Benedict,” you repeat, revelling in the effect it seems to have on him.
It gives you the courage to whip off your top. The noise he makes as he realises you are naked underneath it is a beeline right between your legs.
“Shh,” you hush, giggling, a rush through your veins, not wanting anyone to disturb this, as he slides his lips down over your skin towards your breasts.
“I cannot,” he remarks gleefully,  “not with such a bounty beneath me.” 
His lips clamp onto your left nipple, sucking and swirling his tongue with an intensity that steals the breath from your lungs.
“Might wake fam…” you stumble out, impressed you can even do that.
He pulls up, his biceps in tense relief as he balances on his fists curled on either side of your waist. “Then lock your damn door,” he growls in a way that has you clenching.
“No lock…” you squeak, wishing beyond belief you had one.
“Shit, really?” he sighs, leaning back down to kiss over your sternum. “I’m not sure I can be quiet; I’ve wanted this for too long…”
You go to query that statement, but he moves to your other breast and does the same, so the only sound you are capable of is a guttural moan.
“Shh,” he hushes you back cheekily, tilting his head up from your chest, eyes sparkling and face so achingly handsome you still can barely believe this is happening,
“We really do have to be quiet…” you point out reluctantly.
“I know,” he sighs into your breastbone, dropping a soft kiss there. “I want to tell you so many things….” 
“Whisper them to me…” you beseech, running your fingers through his lush, thick head of hair, tilting your breast back up to his mouth.
He smirks and catches your unsubtle hint, once again using his talented mouth to make you shudder under him. He runs a finger down your centre line to your belly. 
“Your body is perfect,” he sighs. You go to protest, but he shoots you a disapproving look, so you bite back your words. “I could get lost for hours tracing your lines,” he hums, his featherlight touch tickling as it crosses under your belly button, making you giggle. “Hmm, a little ticklish too,” he sounds utterly captivated by that discovery, throwing you a very troublesome expression.
“Don't use it against me…” you warn, knowing he will ignore you, a fizzy feeling at this playfulness.
“Oh, I just might…” he chuckles as he runs his tongue lower over your torso, a hot, damp line that leaves fluttering in his wake. “I could do this all night…your skin is so soft,” he purrs, inhaling deeply, nuzzling his nose above the line of your pyjama bottoms. “You always smell so fantastic,” he sighs, using his teeth to tug on the ribbon. 
You’ve never had someone be this vocal during intimacy. It makes you feel reassured but also slightly bewildered by just how aroused you are getting, Benedict’s resonant voice skittering compliments over your skin, making you embarrassingly wet. Your hands greedily pull at his t-shirt, hoping he will get the hint.
“If you want something from me, you have to say it,” he teases as he switches to using his fingers to undo the bow on your pyjamas. 
“Please take off your top, Ben,” you mewl, even as your heart pounds at the idea you will soon be naked under him.
“I will,” he promises, “in a minute…” 
As if sensing your apprehension about removing your last item of clothing, he leaves it in place, shuffling lower and stretching your legs wide with his shoulders. You gasp loudly as his mouth, hot through the thin cotton protecting your modesty, sucks insistently over your slit. A large hand curling around your hip to stop you canting off the bed. Your clit throbs, and your pussy leaks copiously down your bottom.
“Fuck I can tell how wet you are even through this fabric,” he stutters.
“I'm sorry...” you squirm, embarrassed.
He surges upright, grabs your hands from around his head and cages them on the mattress beside your hips.
“Let's get two things very clear,” his voice stern but achingly seductive. “One, your body is incredible, and you should know by now how much I desire you. Two, if you ever apologise again for being turned on, I will be annoyed. Do you know how proud I am? That I can do this to you? How absolutely rigid this makes me?” rutting his hard cock against your left calf to prove his point. “I want your desire running down to your knees. I want you mindless and trembling with need for me.” 
“O-okay,” you stumble out, entranced. This filthy poetry and feralness is beyond anything you could imagine him capable of. You have seen hints of his menacing potential, but full force, it’s breathtaking.
“Good,” he smiles crookedly, releasing your hands. “Now lift your hips so I can get you properly naked,” the slightly bossy rejoinder really working for you.
Mutely, you do as bidden, his fingertips trailing fire down your hips as he tugs the material over your thighs, impatiently pulling them from around your ankles and tossing them over his shoulder, his gaze locked onto your body. He groans a curse, and you again find yourself clenching around nothing at his untamed response.
Whispering his name is a reflex, your fingers carding again into his hair as he lowers his mouth and suckles the skin of your hip before slowly, almost torturously, winding his way lower towards your centre. Every place he touches feels alive and fluttering, him whispering reassurance and praise into your flesh, like a sensual requiem that catches your breath. By the time he trails his nose down the crease where your thigh meets your body, you are panting, eyes screwed shut, head tilted back, anticipation knotting your guts.
“Look at me,” he orders softly, his face framed by your thighs as you gulp and look down the plane of your body to him. “Don’t look away; I want to see your eyes when I do this,” his breath hot on your slit.
He unfurls his tongue and ploughs through your wet flesh, making your toes and fingers curl. You have to bite your lip and curse behind your teeth, the sensation overwhelming, his eye flashing fire in his blown pupils at your bodily reaction. You hiss loudly, needing to call out so bad your lungs ache. You twist your pillow to bite down on a corner but keep your eyes on him as told. He chuckles pridefully, the sensation shooting up your pelvis, then keeps going. Teasing around your clit with a lathing action that is nothing like you've had before, devouring, using his whole face, strong arms wrapping your thighs in a vice-like grip, held lewdly open It feels so good that within moments you are panting. Still, part of you is tense, scared about your ability to be silent.
“Relax,” he breathes, shaking your hip gently in his grip, sensing the tension in your being. 
“I'm worried I won't be able to stay quiet enough,” you admit, muffled around the pillowcase, looking away to stare at the ceiling as he busses a soft kiss onto your inner thigh.  
“One moment…” he withdraws and hops off the bed. You watch, vaguely dazed, as he drags a heavy chair against the door and wedges it under the handle so it can’t be opened. “There, now we should get some warning.”.
When he turns back around, you instinctively pull the cover over yourself to hide your naked body, even as you can’t help but stare at the tent in his pyjama bottoms, mouth watering at visions of what lies beneath.
“Don’t do that,” he reproaches softly, “show yourself to me.”
Reluctantly, you push the sheet away again, squirming slightly as his eyes roam your body lasciviously as he prowls over to you, stripping off his t-shirt as he does. His naked torso is perfect, toned and honed, and as he crawls over you, you are hypnotised by the view. 
“You are so beautiful,” he sighs, dropping a kiss on the tip of your nose, the scent of your arousal on his face. “Never cover yourself in front of me; you should be proud of your body.”
You’ve never had someone say that before, and your insides are molten, a need for him that burns so bright, an inferno purely of his making.
“Tell me what you want,” he proposes, lacing your fingers with his, kissing your fingertips, then sucking them into his mouth, looking at you expectantly as you stutter at his warm, wet, talented tongue lathing over your fingertips.
“Everything…” you blurt out honestly. “Anything. This is all wonderful��� Can I return the favour for you?” you deflect, brushing your other hand tentatively over his bulge as he hovers over you.
“Yes, you bloody can,” he growls, releasing your fingers from his lips as his eyes flash dark. But he grabs your hand away from his cock, calming his tone. “But not tonight. Another time…”
“Another time?” you echo, temporarily stunned by the idea this isn't a never-to-be-repeated Christmas miracle.
“Yes. Why would you think this a one-time thing?” his brow knits as he drops a kiss on your cheek. “What about my actions and words tonight suggest that?”
“Nothing, I suppose,” you concede, “just history…”
He cups your jaw. “The past is the past. This is now and me,” he states clearly, running a thumb tenderly over your lip. “I will do whatever you want. If you tell me to leave this room right now, I will, and I won't think any less of you…”
“Don't you dare,” it's a snarl from some dark recess deep inside you, your legs twining around his to lock him in place.
“There she is…” he chuckles, that lopsided grin taking over his face before kissing a line down your throat. “Now tell me what you want, y/n.”
“I want you inside me,” you confess, running your hands over his naked back, loving the play of muscles under warm skin.
He groans at your words, an edge of teeth on your jugular, making you ripen, feel daring. If he wants to know just how wild he makes you, you are going to show it. You grab his face and drag it up until he is over you again, his pupils blown and his hair a mess from your tugging.
“Fuck me, right now, Ben,” you demand hotly, pushing your body up into his and delving a hand inside the back of his pyjamas to grab his shapely rear, keen for him to be as naked as you.
He snarls and pins your arms beside your head on the pillow.
“Do you have any condoms?” he breathes hot in your ear.
“Ah shit,” your head thumps back, chastising yourself for not planning better. But then this seemed like such an unlikely outcome, frankly miraculous; why on earth would you have?
“Good thing I came prepared then,” he teases, releasing his grip to produce a small packet from the pocket of his pyjamas.
“You….” you scold, equal parts impressed and irked, running your fingers around his waistband. 
“It was a sincere wish, not an expected conclusion,” he smiles bashfully, his lips meeting yours for a searing kiss as he slips off the last of his clothing.
A shiver runs down your spine as he bears you into the mattress, naked, his rigid cock brandishing the inside of your thigh. He keeps kissing you over and over until your lips feel tingly from the slight hint of stubble around his. You wrap all of your limbs around him, craving for your bodies to be melded.
When he pushes up slightly to rip open the packet, you glance down and see, nestled in a patch of trimmed hair, a sizeable but very pretty cock. You can’t resist reaching out and touching it, loving the feel of steely strength under the silky texture; his soft groan is like music to your ears. Sighing his name, you are impatient for him to be inside you, already knowing it will feel wonderful, part of you craving skin on skin. 
Again he wears that demure smile, looking up at you through his lashes, so you take over, eagerly rolling the condom onto that pretty cock and then pulling him down on top of you forcefully.
“I like it when you are just a little bossy,” he confesses into your mouth, one hand pulling the cover over you both, then sliding between your bodies to guide himself towards you.
“I like it when you are a little bossy,” you counter, but then all your words die out as his cock slides insistently into you.
Your eyes roll back as he inches inside, so much heat and girth, your body stretching to accommodate his invasion. You both seem to utter a curse, and your hands grasp each other tight.
“You feel amazing…” he murmurs as he bottoms out, the feeling of fullness so perfect.
You whisper your agreement as he withdraws and surges back in, your feet curling around his legs, toes sliding into the light fuzz on the back of his calves. There are soft sighs, both of you trying to muffle your sounds as he sets a languid pace, your body rolling with his; each push has your walls clinging to him, your breasts squashing against his broad chest. What strikes you most as you move together is that nothing is awkward; it all feels natural, predestined, an easy intimacy that suggests months or even years together rather than a first time.
He feels so good moving inside you, so perfect; all you can do is cling to him, trying to convey with your eyes what you dare not voice. Afraid that if you open your mouth, you will release the noises you are fighting to hold in, blazing in your lungs. His stare is blistering, too, a blush across his face that speaks of desire and denied words, his neck corded, a pulse beating wildly in his prominent vein, a sheen gathering on his forehead as he pushes into you over and over.
His breath is hot on your temple as he shifts, dropping a shoulder and reaching down, looping your leg into the crook of his arm, the sheet pulling taut around your knee as he does. He hits a new spot deep inside with his next thrust, which has you digging your nails into his back and whimpering behind your sealed lips. It's as if he is doing his damnedest to break you, make you cry out, and it's the best torture you have ever known.
You huff out of your nose as he does the same, both sounding winded, as he picks up the pace, your teenage bed starting to squeak in protest.
“Shhh,” you plead with the furniture as much as him.
He stops moving, buried in you, and reaches above, stuffing a throw pillow between the bedframe and the wall, his arms flexing deliciously right over your face, the scent of his body spiking your need. It makes you grasp your thighs around his hips and flip him over, landing with a bounce, him still inside as you are on top of him now.
“Wow, that was…” he looks both astounded and exhilarated.
“Surprising?” you supply with a triumphant crooked smile of your own, your hands tracing the lines of his pectorals.
“Wonderful,” he clarifies, his hands grasping your hips as you start to ride him. The way he looks up at you, with dark pupils and a bitten lip, makes you fearless. Starting a leisurely pace, you place your hands over his on your hips, fingers lacing as his eyes slip from yours briefly, transfixed by his cock disappearing into you.
He groans low, undulating beneath you, pushing up as you sink down, his eyes back to your face, a prideful expression as your mouth drops open, his cock nudging deeper than ever before, almost a dull ache that you need, moving faster now, chasing that hit with every downstroke. You can feel your body flushing hot from the exertion, your thigh muscles burning slightly. Still, you don't waver, too addicted to that feeling of being so utterly filled, his cock dragging all the right places inside that switch off your brain and forget everything, every doubt, every uncertainty about yourself and your body, and just chase pleasure. 
“My god, you are beautiful,” he gasps, “I love to see you like this, so untamed, so free…” 
The compliments just drip like whispered jewels from his tongue as he guides your joined hands up to your breasts and grabs them with a force that fans the heavy, hot feeling in your pelvis, his knuckles snagging your sensitive buds. It makes you want to ride him forever, your clit throbbing each time you sink down, tugging temptingly but not enough to quite tip you over. The clawing sensation of being so close makes you drag your fingernails down his torso and clench around his cock. He stutters and looks at you hungrily, possessed, and then, before you know it, the room tilts as he rolls you back under him, again never leaving your body.
He withdraws and thrusts back into you with such force the wind is knocked out of your lungs, the pillow muffling the thud against the wall. Something in the atmosphere shifts; an urgency, like the heat that has been simmering, is now boiling over for both of you. He grabs your knees and encourages you to wrap your legs high around his torso, tilting your pelvis to a new angle, and when he moves, you cry loudly behind your lips, his body glancing at your clit.
He hushes you with a prideful chuckle. So you grab one of his hands and place it over your mouth, knowing you cannot trust yourself to stay quiet now. The hitch in his breath as you gag yourself with his palm is like poetry. 
Oh, Ben, you have no idea what I may want from you one day…
Your errant thoughts run to your darker fantasies, things you’ve never done before but are intrigued by, and in every one of them, it's him. Treating you just a little rough while you beg for more.
“Whatever you are thinking,” he gusts into your ear, moving faster now, “I hope it involves me.”
You nod, feeling his fingers flex across your face.
“Good, I can't wait for you to tell me,” he rasps lowly.
A bead of sweat forms along his hairline as the whole bed rocks now, the trapped pillow muffling the sound, his punishing pace pushing you ever closer to orgasm, pleasure spiking with each thrust. His hand grips your jaw; something about that pressure and the sweet words he murmurs is a contradiction of primal and tender. Sex before has always been one or the other for you; blended together, it's a potent elixir.
He takes you hard, without mercy, and you silently beg him with your eyes for just that; his cock feels so hot and rigid, pounding into you as your cries are muffled by his tangy palm. The onslaught is perfect, and you are teetering on the edge just as he pleads roughly with you to come with him. So you let yourself go, your mind blanks out, your body bucking under his violently. Shuddering convulsions fanning out from your pussy, gripping tight around him and racing through every ounce of your being, muscles taut, eyes screwed shut, a scream trapped in your lungs. He stills above you, his hand releasing your mouth as that bead of sweat splashes down onto your nose. He curls around you, coming hard, huffing gulps of air and twitching almost violently with tiny aftershocks.
After a pause filled with panted breaths and strokes on overheated skin, he carefully withdraws and discards the condom.
“Merry Christmas,” you giggle into his neck as you collapse together.
He hauls you into his embrace, tucking you under his arm and kissing your dewy forehead. 
“Merry Christmas indeed,” his answer ragged, wrapped in a warm laugh.
And that is how you both drift off - exhausted, sated bodies entwined, damp skin pressed together.
___
A few hours later, you are awakened by overexcited nieces and nephews thundering down the stairs, eager to see what Santa has brought them. It takes a moment to recall what transpired overnight, a telltale delicious residual pang between your legs, followed by the realisation you are alone. Part of you relieved Benedict has snuck back to the safety of the den, but a larger part sad not to be waking up in his arms. Sighing, you roll over and spy a jaunty cartoon penguin Christmas card propped up on your bedside table. Upon opening, you beam, immediately recognising the beautiful, looped handwriting.
Y/n 
Thank you for the most magical night. Leaving this bed might be the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I can’t think of anywhere else I would rather be on Christmas Day or, indeed, any other day of the year. But I don't want your father to be angry with me. I have a lifetime to disappoint him… if you will let me. 
I can't wait to see you downstairs.
Merry Christmas,
B xx
P.S. I may have just booked a hotel for the rest of our stay. I think we deserve some privacy ;)
You giggle, elated; the exciting prospect of nights in a hotel and the pledge of a lifetime ahead makes your stomach leap—this could be the start of something. You momentarily clutch the card to your chest, revelling in your joy, before burying it into your book for safekeeping and going to take a shower.
When you descend the stairs, out of the picture window, you see most of the family gathered on the street with the kids circling on their new bikes. But as you round into the living room, a sight melts your heart. Benedict sitting cross-legged on the floor with Sofia, a novelty Santa hat perched on his head, surrounded by shreds of wrapping paper, festive music playing in the background as he puts batteries in some loud plastic toy that will no doubt drive everyone up the wall for the rest of the day. 
She whoops with delight as the toy noisily springs to life and runs away to play with it. That's when he looks up and sees you watching from the doorway, his face lighting up. Slowly, he gets to his feet, and then you gasp as he wordlessly pulls you into his arms, brings your hand to his face and kisses your knuckles before starting to waltz.
“I didn't know you could dance like this, Mr Bridgerton,” you tease, impressed, allowing him to lead you around, dodging haphazard toys and boxes.
“Oh, there are so many, many things you have yet to learn about me, Ms y/l/n,” he proclaims alluringly as Frank Sinatra croons from the speaker.
♫ It's that time of year  When the world falls in love Every song you hear seems to say Merry Christmas May your New Year's dreams come true. ♫
“I hope you don't have plans for New Year's,” he whispers into your hair as he brings you to a halt. “I would very much like you to accompany me to Aubrey Hall. As my girlfriend,” he explains, grinning. “Not fake,” he adds drolly after a pause.
You laugh, feeling lightheaded and giddy, but just as you go to answer, you are both interrupted by a little hand tugging on his jeans. 
“Uncle Ben, you are my favouritist,” Sofia declares solemnly. “Will you visit every Christmas?”
Meeting your gaze, his expression contains multitudes. 
“It would be my greatest honour, Sofia,” he replies to her, even though his eyes never stray from yours.
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Benedict taglist: @makaylan @foreverlonginguniverse @iboopedyournose @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @margofiore @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @angels17324 @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @benedictspaintbrush @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @truly-dionysus @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @kmc1989 @desert-fern @starkeylover @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @amygdtjhddzvb @sya-skies
Lights divider by @/saradika [x]
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731 notes · View notes
myseungsunglove · 9 months
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Say that again | Bc
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Pairing: Bang Chan x reader
Warnings: fluff, almost smut but mostly just alluding to it.
Word Count: approx. 800
𖠫Summary: After watching Chan’s episode with the Felix and him playing with the twin girls, your mind is sent reeling by thoughts you’d never really entertained before. You voice those thoughts to Chan and find yourself quite surprised by his response.
✎A/N✎: I am not responsible for my sleepy thoughts. The thoughts that prevail and demand to be written BEFORE the damn stories I already have outlined. I guess be thankful you’re getting anything at all at this point. *laughs nervously* Also, domestic Chan makes me so weak and thus this fic was born. Not super edited because I sleepies.
◠ ◡ ◠᭚ιαᵕ̈
「© December 28, 2023 by myseungsungheart」
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“Babe? Did you hear me?”
Chan’s voice shakes you from your thoughts. You’d entirely lost track of the conversation. Mainly because your mind was wondering to places you really never had let it before. The two of you had just watched Felix and Chan’s episode with the twins. Watching Chan with those precious little girls had really stirred something in you that you genuinely thought you didn’t want.
“Hmm?” the sound leaves you as your eyes meet his and he smiles softly at your dazed look.
“What’s going through that pretty head of yours?” Chan asks, a hint of concern in his voice as he reaches out and brushes his hand lightly against your jaw, this thumb caressing your cheek with care as he holds your gaze.
You find that words don’t immediately spring forth, so instead you lean forward and press your lips against Chan’s. He melts into the kiss, his arm snaking around your waist and pulling you closer to him on the couch, your mouths moving slowly together as the graze of his touch causes goosebumps to break out on your skin.
“That doesn’t really answer my question,” he chuckles against your lips, pulling away reluctantly and looking into your eyes again.
You sigh. It’s deep and meaningful. Chan can tell whatever you aren’t saying is weighing heavy on your mind.
“That bad, huh?” he asks hesitantly, letting go of your face to grab your hand instead, interlacing your fingers together. “Whatever it is, I’m always here, baby,” he assures you.
You close your eyes briefly, stealing up all the courage you can muster for the next sentence you’re about to utter. It really could change everything and your heart flutters at the thought. Your husband is a busy man, with producing music and working with the boys non stop. Is this really something he’d want? You haven’t talked about it in so long because you really thought you didn’t want this. Now, you are questioning everything you once thought.
“I think I want to you try to have a baby,” you say and it comes out all in a rush as if the sentence was just once giant word strung together.
“What was that?” Chan asks, his brows knitting together in confusion as he chuckles quietly at you.
“I want to have a baby,” you say, this time more slowly and with more certainty. “I know we haven’t talked about it in a long time because I thought I didn’t want that, but…”
Your words are cut off by Chan’s lips crashing into yours, the kiss raw and hungry, his tongue pushing into your mouth as he pushes you back against the couch and hovers over you. He pulls away breathless, his chest heaving, his eyes full of love and hope. Not the reaction you anticipated.
“God,” he whispers, leaning in to kiss your jaw. “Please,” he continues, the trail of kisses moving along your jaw to your neck. “Say that again,” he all but begs as his lips hurriedly kiss up along the column of your neck and back to your mouth.
You reach out for his face then, holding it mere centimeters away from yours and speak again.
“Let’s have a baby,” you whisper.
“I thought you didn’t want,” he starts but you cut him off.
“I thought I didn’t too, but really I just thought I’d make a horrible mom. Didn’t want to end up like mine, you know?”
He watches you carefully, brows knit together again as he stays hovered over your body. He’s shaking his head, but you power through.
“But watching you with those girls made me realize I could do absolutely anything with you by my side. You’d be such a great dad and god i want that for a kid. I want someone to feel so lucky knowing you’re their dad. I want our kid to know that,” you finish, your eyes darting back and forth between his.
“You’re wrong about one thing,” he counters, kissing your lips gently before speaking again. “You’re already great at loving people. You love me for god knows why. You love those seven crazy men I call my members and take care of them. You would make a great mom, of that much I have never had any doubt.”
You pull his lips to yours once more, your fingers running into the hair at the back of his head and hold him to you. You’re crying and you’re not sure when that started.
“Please,” you beg as Chan’s hips settle between yours, his desire for you evident as he presses in closer to you. “Chan,” you can’t stop the breathy moan that escapes you.
“I’d take on the world with you, do anything for you,” he says, pulling away from your lips long enough to look into your eyes. “Including starting a family,” he adds, his hips rolling into you and causing your back to arch up off the couch. “How about we see if we can’t make that happen, hmmm?” he says against your mouth, his hands now freely roaming your body.
“Yes,” you agree, your head spinning. “I love you,” you remind him as his hands move to remove your clothes and make your’s and his dream a reality.
“I love you more,” he assures you, before kissing you deeply once more and giving you everything you’ve hoped for and more.
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scatterbrainedbot · 4 months
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redraw of one of my very first tmnt drawings!!
had meant to do it exactly the one year later mark, but i blinked and suddenly april was may was june -- so ended up being more like a year and 1.5 months lol
May 11th, 2024 vs. April 6th, 2023
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its so funny seeing them nest to each other now, but i remember when i finished the first version last year, i was so proud to have finally made a proper 'finished' piece.
like, yall, i struggled for years to every be able to create a piece i would ever call close to 'done'. part of that is me being a very knit-picky kinda person, and wanted to continue to tweak everything all of the time forever, but on top of that i also do work slow af, and before last year i didnt really have access to any digital media. and i love traditional mediums, but im defintiely not practiced enough to be able to get the results i was looking for with any sort of speed. like im genuinely not sure i created a single 'finished' work in my life -- not in school, not in work, not even in the free space of silly fandom doodles.
and then this piece happened!
and i knew even then that it was messy and rough af, but it had a background!! and color!! sure, the linework wasnt polished at all but still, for a silly little fanart? it was defined enough to distinguish the separate characters, and read expressions! there was even a little tiny bit of lighting!! i hate lighting!!
seeing the two versions side by side honestly i kinda have to laugh at how Rough the first version looks now. but you know what. im still so so proud of it. the colors are muddy, theres no shift in value; their clothing designs arent at all defined, leos teeth look weird af and theres lines on caseys face that are definitely from me accidentally dragging my fingers across the tablet when i didnt mean to but like. its there! its finished! i did it!
idk. ive never had a piece ive ever wanted to hang on my own fridge before. :)
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thesparklingwriter · 10 months
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treasured moments
tags: established relationship, fem!reader, fluff, dragon zhong doing dragon zhong things (he's hoarding treasure)(he likes soft things)
"celeste, rin's birthday way in june--" shhhh.... i am 6 months behind on everything. hush.
lore: around the time of @zhongrin 's birthday, i very suspiciously left an ask for undisclosed reasons asking about things she thought Zhongli would secretly like. and in order to maximise the surprise I decided to wait six months before even starting the fic, AND almost forgot to add the one thing she said she thought he liked but I digress. nobody expected it, did they? i got you all. right? i got you right? you're all surprised?
masterlist | taglist
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It’s a well known fact that dragons are hoarders. When they find something they hold dear, they will go to extreme lengths to protect it. They will fill their abodes with the things they love, collecting anything that reminds them of it—anything to curate their home to the best of their ability.
Your dragon is no different. Zhongli will often return home with small trinkets that you truly believe there is no space for, and you often tell him as such, albeit offhandedly. He’s good at decorating, and for some reason, the house never seems crowded or cluttered. 
Over time, you began to notice his preferences change. At first it was noticing the crystal and ores he found matching the colour of your eyes, or your hair, or a piece of clothing you hold dearly. You’d notice that sometimes, after pulling you close to him in the middle of the night, and quietly remarking about how soft you are, he’d come home with something knitted or plush. Things you mention to him in passing suddenly pop up in your room or on your bed. You know not to say anything about it, afraid of making him embarrassed or suppress himself out of fear of offending you, but it’s hard to express you’re gratitude without words.
When you hear the sound of the front door opening, you pull yourself out of the cushions and blankets you’ve buried yourself in (courtesy of Zhongli, of course) and head towards the door to greet him.
“Good evening, love.” He says when he sees you, putting his bag gently pulling you into a hug. “How has your day been?”
“It’s been okay.” You ask about his day too, before shifting you attention to his bag. “What did you get?”
“I happened upon these woven blankets during my walk home.” He watches as you look inside. “I thought they might be a welcome addition to the house.”
Before, you might have agreed quietly, desperate to not make him to aware of himself. But now, you think quietly to yourself. “I’ve been thinking that the seat in the study is somewhat bare.”
You aren’t looking at him, so you don’t notice the slight glimmer that appears in his eyes as you begin to devise where his latest trinket shall go. He isn’t bothered about where you choose to put the blanket or whether colours might clash, however. He knows that his true treasure is found wherever you are.
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© 2023, thesparklingwriter. please do not copy, edit, repost, or translate.
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notes: rin i hope you don't mind me tagging you but if you do I apologise and I hope everything in your life is getting better and your pillow is cold on all sides and---
taglist: @thelonelyarchon@aixaingela@medusuu
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manias-wordcount · 11 months
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Wedding Night (Ganondorf)
Kinktober 2023 Day Twenty-One: Size Difference
𝗣𝗮𝗿𝘁: 𝗼𝗻𝗲 || 𝘁𝘄𝗼 
𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? ⇒ 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩
𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙧?
𝙗𝙪𝙮 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙚?
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Your mother said that the night of your wedding might be scary. But she also said that if your husband was kind to you- if he was good to you, you would have nothing to worry about. You didn’t believe those words that she said to you when it was first announced that you were to be married into the Dragmire Family. But now that you’re here with your newly anointed husband right in front of you?
You don’t think the words could have rang any more true for another man.
Right now, you’re on your back. Your wedding attire was carefully discarded by your husband’s large hands all so gently, that you would have thought that the man was handling glass and diamonds and other precious jewels. By the time you were completely bare of everything, the nervousness must have been showing on your face. Because he was so quiet, so soft when he helped you lay down on the bed of consummation. So sweet as he helped you part your legs so, so slowly for him. 
And so kind as he took one finger and pressed it to your lower lips, watching carefully as the most private part of your body welcomes in a stranger so easily.
Oh, how you gasped, and oh, how you moaned at the intrusion. You’re no stranger to your own body. You have touched and toyed and played with yourself before. But his fingers? They were so much larger. They were so much thicker. Somehow they managed to accomplish the same feat that not even three or four of your fingers could accomplish so easily- filling you up so easily. So smoothly. So- so perfectly. It almost set you running- racing out of the bed. But a large, firm hand being placed on your stomach stopped you. It keeps you in your place with just enough weight for the message to get to you loud and clear.
So you stay. You don’t run. You don’t cry. You stay. And maybe, just maybe…
…you open your legs just a teensy bit wider at the sight of the small, encouraging smile the King of Gerudo flashes at you for listening to him so readily.
“I forget just how small you are compared to me.” Ganondorf murmurs before looking back down at your body, eyebrows knitting together as a look of deep concentration spreads across his face. You could only whine in response as you felt the finger move further and further in. A loud, pitiful sound that makes your skin turn warm and your blood running hot beneath your skin. Yet the man in front of you- your husband seems to only relish in the sounds you make. Because they’re all made because of him. Because they’re all for him. Your dear, dear husband. Your dear, dear Ganondorf. “I’ve been at this for so long, and yet, you’re still so tight for me. I wonder why that is, my dear. Hmm?”
He with a lifted brow at a quick glance at your blissful expression, he throws the question in your direction. But you don’t answer. You can’t answer. It’s far too embarrassing for you to use your voice right now. Or is it that’s impossible to use your voice right now? You’re not quite sure, but this has you feeling all sortings of things that make it hard to think about anything except for what’s doing to you. And just how good he makes you feel.
The way he stands above you at the end of the bed makes him feel even taller- even bigger than before. Your eyelids flutter every now and then as you fight the urge to just lay there with your eyes closed and ride the singular finger buried inside you until you reach that peak you’re both searching for. It’s hard though. It’s hard fighting that feeling. Especially now that he’s listening to all the dumb little noises that pass through your parted lips. And the chuckle he lets out as he leans into you a little bit more- it makes you feel so, so very small in comparison. So, so very small. 
“You're taking my finger very well, little one.” He compliments you, and you can’t help but coo at the words he says to you. “Ah, what a noisy little thing you are.”
He lets out another laugh at your lewd reactions and expressions to all that he’s giving you, and you can’t help but feel a wave of shame try to wash over you once more. But it’s quickly replaced by the tanned finger buried in your insides pulling back out and pumping itself in again at a pace that’s steadily starting to gain speed and intensity. It’s never too fast for you. It’s never too hard either. But it’s starting to curl and move like it knows what it’s doing. It’s starting to press and prod at places that make you gasp and whimper and moan clamp down on the offending appendage. But more than anything? It’s making you feel good. It’s making you feel warm and pleasured and a little bit dizzy. 
But your mother said that if your husband was good to you- if your husband was kind to you- that he would make your world go soft and your mind grow fuzzy before he even enters you. Though she never said that he could make you feel like a cloud floating among the stars with just one finger and the beautiful purr of his gentle voice. She never said that at all.
“You’re so perfect for me. So receptive. So sweet.”
Ganondorf continues on with his praises. Voice warm as it hits you low, low, low in your body where it matters the most. You whine again at it all, unable to hold it in as the feeling of being called perfect while he takes such good care of you and your body. Every single thing he says- every little word he speaks to you- only manages to make you slip further and further into this headspace. It makes it harder and harder to focus on multiple things- anything at once. So much so that you’re starting to forget your own name and can only remember his. So much so that all you can see when you close your eyes is his olive-colored skin and kind, amber eyes as he touches you in places where no one else has touched you before. So much so that you don’t even know that you’re jerking and shifting and moving your hips in a way that is very unlike the blushing bride you’re supposed to be.
“Ah, But I do wonder…”
Or that the big, and heavy thing now pressing up against your inner thigh…
“If I’ll even be able to fit inside my wife’s precious little pussy without splitting her into two.”
…is supposed to be inside of you before the night is done and over with. 
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Most Wonderful Time Of The Year ~ LMH
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WORD COUNT: 1.4K
PAIRING: Minho x GN!Reader
GENRE: angst with a softer ending, the boys not including you on something, feeling a little down about the season, comforting boyfriend,
⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - September 2023
⤜MASTERLIST
A/N: Did I have christmas songs on while writing it? Yes..Yes I did hehe
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Christmas had always been your favourite time of year, Maybe it was the fact that everyone seemed to be happier or had an extra spring in their step but you adored everything about the Christmas season. The darker mornings, the darker nights? What wasn't to love about curling up in front of the fireplace with your loved ones and spending time cuddling up together? 
Or waking up earlier than everyone else in the house was asleep and just listening to the quietness of the mornings, reading a book or just sitting there for a long time enjoying your time alone. Everywhere you went Christmas music was playing and usually everyone appeared to be in a cheery mood, speaking to you or just giving you a small wave hello. Everything about the season brought you nothing but joy.
Until now that was.
For weeks the boys had been talking non-stop about the Christmas party that they were going to be throwing, talking about what they were going to do and who was cooking for all of them. Something that they did every year by the sounds of it but you hadn't been invited to it and being the person that you were, you didn't ask about it.
You decided that if they really wanted you there then you would have been asked in the first place, no one wanted someone crashing their plans. Minho was rushing around at the last possible second, he'd been running late after waking up way too late and now he was panicking about not having everything with him.
"Your Secret Santa gift is on the kitchen table," You told Minho as you mindlessly watched the film that you'd decided to put on that morning while Minho got ready. The present had been left unwrapped for days and so you'd wrapped that while watching your first Christmas movie of the morning.
"Thanks, you didn't have to wrap it. I would have gotten around to it," He laughed nervously before coming to a halt in the doorway and frowning when he noticed you weren't dressed yet. The two of you needed to leave within the next two minutes if you were going to stand any chance of the boys not teasing you for it.
"Why aren't you dressed?" He quizzed, running into the kitchen and grabbing the wrapped box before coming back to the living room to find you staring at him dumbfounded by what you meant. You knew you were dressed, it was far too cold for you to be walking around the house naked - even with the heating on.
"Is this a dream where I think I'm dressed but I'm secretly naked?" You laughed looking down at your sweats and top that you were wearing,
"I am dressed." You mumbled wondering what he was talking about and he frowned shaking his head at you, he didn't have time to play any kind of games with you. If the two of you showed up late to a party again the boys wouldn't drop it, they always teased you because you were late to every group activity you did together.
"For the party. Why aren't you dressed for the party?" He moved so that he could stand in front of you, blocking your view of the television and making you sigh a little. This wasn't exactly how you'd planned on spending your day, you'd wanted to sit and watch cheesy made-for-TV Christmas movies and complain about how bad the acting was. 
"Because I didn't get an invite." You mumbled reaching for the remote and pausing your film as he stared at you, his eyebrows knitting together as he thought about it. Minho slowly lowered himself to sit on the coffee table in front of you as he thought about it some more Of course you were invited. Why wouldn't they invite you along? You and Minho had been dating for almost five years, it was a given that you were going to be spending Christmas together.
"What? Of course, you did." He laughed softly trying to think back on whether or not the boys had asked you or if he was supposed to have asked you.
"Baby, I didn't get invited." You looked at him as he frowned, shaking his head in disbelief. There was no way they wouldn't invite you out of spite, there had to be some kind of reason they hadn't done it.
"That's stupid, I'm sure they just forgot to invite you." He shrugged, playing it off as nothing and standing up from the table and holding out his hands for you to take.
"Or they don't want me there." Insecurity drenched your every word but you couldn't help it. The more you thought about it the more you worried the boys really didn't want you there. Maybe they didn't like you as much as you thought that they did and just put up with you because they had to for Minho's sake.
"Why would you think that?" His eyes and voice softened as he watched you closely,
"I-I don't know," Your voice shook and before you could even process what was happening tears began to roll down your cheeks, your chest beginning to ache as your cries left your throat. Within seconds Minho was sitting beside you on the sofa, wrapping his arms around you and dragging you into the tightest hug that he could possibly manage.
"They love you, you know that right? Felix always loves spending time with you and so does Seumgmin." He reminded you, rubbing his hands up and down your arms as you cried against his chest. Maybe it seemed silly to him that you were crying over not being invited somewhere but this was something you'd spent your whole life dealing with.
Even with friends of your own, you were always left out of group activities and made to feel like the bad guy if you ever asked why they didn't invite you. 
"They love spending time with you. I'm positive that there's going to be an explanation behind it all," Minho whispered to you softly, his hands slowly coming to a stop before he kissed the side of your head lovingly. The last thing he wanted was for you to be upset on one of your favourite days of the year.
"But-" You tried to speak but there was no way he was going to let you talk your way out of this one.
"Nope. You're coming with me, even if I have to drag you kicking and screaming," He smirked at you, tapping your arm a little but you still didn't move from his arms and he chuckled a little.
"You want to put up a little fight today, brat?" He teased softly, tickling your armpits before you wriggled away from him, his arm tightening around you so that you didn't fall on the floor and hurt yourself.
"Come on," He whispered when he heard your sniffling coming to a slow stop and helping you up onto your feet.
"Your outfit is laid out on the bed, yours will match my festive shirt," He smiled, proudly showing off the outfit he was wearing and smirking at you.
"Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! If we're late they'll tease us!" He yells as you take off in a sprint toward the staircase and toward your shared room.
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It turned out that everything had been a miscommunication on the boy's part. They assumed that you would be spending Christmas with some family members this year and they'd spaced on just asking you about it. Chan had just placed down a card in Uno that you were all playing and you smirked a little. Everyone had finished eating and now you were spending time playing the new Uno game that Changbin had gotten for Felix,
"I'm still on Uno," Felix announced proudly before nervously looking at you and trying to take a sneaky look at your deck,
"Remember, I'm your favourite." He pleaded, begging for you not to do anything bad to him, but he'd won all of the games so far and it was about time someone taught him a lesson.
"I think you'll find I'm their favourite," Minho smirked, kissing your cheek softly before watching you smugly place down a plus 5 and laughing evilly as Felix proceeded to pick up more cards.
"Uno flip is stupid." He grumbled, looking down at his deck before the game continued, all of you laughing and joking about with one another.
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Tagline: @chiisaiblog @hanasonmi @sw33tnight @taestannie @acciocriativity @scarletemeterio @halesandy @aerastus @laylasbunbunny @critssq @lenfilms @btsiguess-kpop @meowmeowisdaname @imafivestarkpopstan @lost-leopard-beanie @illicee @djeniryuu @backintomykpopphaseagain @choisoorin
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shawnxstyles · 2 years
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don’t keep driving
DATE: FEBRUARY 4, 2023
summary: when your morning starts off on the wrong foot, a certain celebrity cuts you off and makes it even worse. this causes you and harry to bicker before he gets on stage, leaving things unsaid. being his security, you were forced to work around him. while he’s performing, harry makes sure to leave you flustered enough to come into his dressing room at the end of the night.
request: yesss
words: 6.6k
warnings: SMUT (f- receiving [choking, slight orgasm denial], degrading, daddy kink, praise kink, size kink, protected sex (consent is not directly implied here, always ask for consent!), dirty talk), language, and loads of dialogue (especially at the end)
note: the timeline here is completely different from his actual tour. i did describe the la night 8 outfit and a few real incidents that occurred from other shows lmao, but everything else is obviously fictional. enjoy!! harry masterlist
famous!harry x security!reader
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You weren’t the type of person that gets irritated easily. Patience was your forte throughout your whole life, meaning you were rarely impatient to the point of madness.
However, unlike most of your life, you were a little more ticked off today than usual.
It started when your alarm didn’t wake you up this morning. You were so tired from the previous night, you passed out on the sofa in your living room. Your phone was left in your purse and therefore, making you frantically get ready this morning before heading to work.
Then you stopped to get some coffee because last night’s shift was a drag. You didn’t want to feel like crawling out of your skin again. You sipped your drink in the car, on your way to work. You nearly spit it across your windshield when you tasted the bitterness. Looking at the labeling, they completely botched your order with a black coffee. Was a vanilla latte that hard?
Setting the burnt-tasting liquid in a cup holder, you focus on driving. You try to keep your calm, hands gripping the wheel harshly. Traffic was packing up, making you later and later for work. Your head throbbed in stress as you sharply inhaled with a scowl on your face. You pressed the radio on to fill the road raged air. The very much overplayed “As It Was” plays throughout your speakers, making you roll your eyes. Once you exited the freeway, all you had to do was get through a few lights. Just a few stoplights and you would be at work.
Just breathe.
A flashy, red sports car speeds past you, swaying in its lane carelessly. It swerves in front of you, cutting you off entirely. You huff, slamming down on your breaks and honking your horn. You thank heavens that no one is behind you as you switch lanes aggressively and smash the gas pedal to accelerate to his speed. You catch up to the vehicle and glare at the figure. You almost couldn’t believe it.
Ironically, Harry Styles is driving with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on his phone. He grins at the small screen, eyes flicking up and down from the road. You both arrive at a red stop light, breaking ferociously over the white line. The sight of his casualness angers you as you beep again. His head is alerted left toward your car. With knitted eyebrows and a death stare, you flip him off.
As he sits frozen and shocked, you accelerate through the now green light, leaving him in the dust. For some reason, a hint of a smile curls on your lips as you roll into the private parking lot. You show your ID card and pull into the security area. In your rear view mirror, Harry follows closely behind you, parking in a different section.
You smirk to yourself, knowing you gladly flipped off none one other than the Harry Styles.
You slip through the crowded hallways, anxious from the high-pitched screaming coming from the stadium. The closer it gets to showtime, the more anticipation fills up to the room and leaves everyone on high-alert.
It’s just like any other night.
You worked security at the Kia Forum. Ear piercing screams, blinding lights, and chaotic energy surrounded you almost every night. You knew some people would kill for a job that monitors and guards their favorite bands, and you were immensely grateful, but that doesn’t mean you don’t get stressed out and exhausted by the end of the week.
To add, you worked at the Kia Forum, not for the artist. Meaning, you were not directly affiliated with the band or artist performing there. Many people got confused and begged you for an autograph, but it was rare you talked one on one with the musicians for longer than a minute. Working at the forum helped you to not get attached to certain artists because you got to see a variety of artists every day, so you were never obsessing over one. Again, people would kill for your job.
But out of all the people you’ve worked security for, Harry Styles had to be the… most contradicting and unexpected. At least to you.
You’ve seen hundreds of videos of him online and he seemed like the perfect man with the perfect face. He was kind, charming, and had an old-man sense of humor. His figure was exceptional, making teenage girls fawn over him until they faint (you’ve witnessed it). He’s performed at the forum too many times to count (14 times if you were counting though) and each time he acts the same. Funny. Charming. Delightful. Engaging. Sexy. Emotional. Blah blah blah.
Fans don’t see the side of him that you see. Sometimes, you don’t even think his crew or friends see it. He was one of the only artists that you’ve talked to for more than a minute. And every minute you spent practically spitting at each other, you felt your time being wasted. Truly, Harry was cocky, vain, and couldn’t care less about your feelings. The only appropriate way to act was to deflect his own attitude back at him. You weren’t going to put him on a pedestal just because he was a celebrity; he was a person just like anyone else. You’ve only known him for a total of a few weeks; tonight would be his 15th time at the forum since you’ve worked here. However, the car incident today was your last nerve. Thankfully, this was his last night here before Love on Tour finally traveled out of the country.
Shaking your head, you wash away all of the pounding thoughts in your head. You rush around the back rooms in anticipation and anxiousness. Scurrying through the endless hallways, your foot snags in a random extension cord too quickly to balance yourself. Bracing for the fall, your arms extend out, only to be caught by the man whose name is plastered around the arena tonight. Tattooed arms lift you up to your feet as you try to balance yourself, chest pushing off of his chest. A smirk rises on his lips at your proximity as you roll your eyes until they touch the back of your skull.
“A thank you would be much appreciated,” Harry doesn’t remove his arms from beneath yours, keeping you closer than you’d like to be.
You swallow, green eyes piercing yours addictingly. You quickly glance at his outfit; a pastel pink T-shirt with a sequin teddy bear and blue leather pants. Harry Styles, the image, was adorable, sweet, and sexy— something you could’ve admitted at one point in your life. But since you’ve had your eyes opened by Harry, the real one, your blood boils every time he speaks, arrogance laced in his tongue. He was immature, and his childlike mannerisms crumpled any belief that ever found him endearing or sensible.
The only thing that may be sensitive was his ego, which made Mount Everest look small in comparison. Even though he did somehow manage to make a teddy bear shirt sexy, you would never in a million years tell him that.
“You were in my way,” You grumble, pushing yourself off of him. Your fingers felt the valley of his abs through his shirt as you brushed over them swiftly. Swallowing thickly, you stand in front of him with a locked jaw, acting like you didn’t just feel down his torso.
“If anythin’, y’were in my way—”
“Oh, sorry, did I ruin your makeup? Boo hoo. I didn’t ask for you to catch me!” You taunt and shout, eyes furrowed in irritation.
“Think I’d just let you fall?” His tone was surprisingly soft, and in some way, convincingly genuine, but you ignored it.
“Yes, I think that’s exactly what you’d do,” You click your tongue as your eyes bulge from their sockets. Harry’s nose flares while his lips are pursed tightly together.
“That doesn’t make me look good though, does it, darling?” Now, he tries to act soft, sweeping some of your hair to the side. You swat his ringed fingers away in disgust, infamously rolling your eyes. The trace of his fingers left a burning trail on your skin.
“And texting while driving does? Let’s all hail Harry for being such a great role model!” Your arms cross as your eyes roll dramatically for the hundredth time this minute. “For all I know, you were probably sexting some French model.”
Harry instantly remembers a few hours ago, when he was driving unsafely near the forum. He continuously stared at the adorable video on the screen instead of the road, accidentally cutting you off when he swerved into your lane. He cringes at the memory and your comment. As you spin away from him with annoyance sizzling off of you, he grips your elbow and swings you around to face him again. Your body twirls irritatingly too close to him as he holds you tightly by your elbows.
“S‘important,” It wasn’t really. It was just a heartwarmingly sweet video of his Goddaughter getting her nails officially done for the first time. He doesn’t know why he pulled you back toward him. He knows you didn’t like him and would rather breathe poisonous chemicals than the air surrounding him. But for some reason he needed you to know that he wasn’t texting some French model.
How did he mess up that bad?
“Sexting is more important than your life?” Your eyebrows lift as your eyes hang wearily at his dumb statement.
“Since when do y’care about my life?”
“I don’t. I care about other people’s lives. Which you endangered with your reckless driving!” Your shouts echo throughout the halls as the screams from the stands get more noisy and impatient for Harry’s arrival. “You have such a God-complex. Thinking you’re always right,” You grumble with a head shake.
“But if m’not right then that makes y’right, huh? So who really has the ‘God-complex’?” A smirk crawls up his face, arrogance inflating his ego. You huff under your breath, eyes squinting tiny daggers into his soul. Your skin boils with angered heat, fists bawling to contain it.
“Two minutes, Harry! Need you under the stage now!” A crew member jogs and calls for him across the way. Harry sincerely smiles in affirmation as the member slips back underneath the stage.
“Why do you act like you’re so high and mighty all the time? Just because you’re famous doesn’t mean you get to break the law!” You practically spit in his face.
“I break more things than you’d like to know,” He licks his lips with his unexpected innuendo, causing your heart to randomly speed up. His cocky attitude triggered you more than you would like to admit.
“That’s it! Your ego. Somebody needs to humble you.”
“I would say I’m quite humble. You are not.”
“Maybe that big ego is to make up for something,” You fire at him before he could continue to say a snarky comment back. You fold your arms as his face freezes and his words stop. He clicks his tongue as a psychotic laugh suddenly tumbles from his throat. You furrow your eyebrows at him concerningly.
“You are so fuckin’ in for it,” His voice is deep near your ear as he slips past you, jogging away. You didn’t know you were holding your breath until you walked out into the arena, bursting with lively energy and high-levels of anticipation. As best as you could, you shake off the sound of Harry’s voice; demanding, alluring, and almost… lustful.
You approach one of your co-workers, who is also one of your best friends, and greet her with a fist bump. The barrier was surrounded by guards to begin with, so your presence probably wasn’t needed, but the cash was good for a night shift. And plus, the shows were extremely fun, even if they were for Harry Styles.
You might not care for Harry, but his fans were something else. Laughter bubbles up in your throat from reading their ridiculous and out-of-pocket posters.
The jumbo-tron pans to a large white poster that says ‘DADDY?’, causing Harry to shift his attention that way. He stares at the sign, holding back a devilish smirk that you knew all too well.
“Yes?” He says, smile breaking as his laughter echoes in the microphone. Everyone screams so ridiculously loud, you swear there wasn’t a single person silent. “All I can say is, yes?”
The fans continue to scream at his taunting and devilish behavior. Your mouth falls open and you gasp, wondering if it’s true or if he’s just doing it for the fans. You imagine using the name in bed, and heat rushes up to your face when you imagine Harry with you. If he was anything like he was on stage, he was probably into edging and choking as well. He constantly “edged” the audience and pretended to choke himself during one of his songs. Your eyes blur as your body begins to sweat from the lewd idea; Harry’s hand around your neck while he fucks you so deep your eyes are rolling back for a new reason other than his cockiness. You curse at yourself and rapidly shake your head because Harry was the last person you should be having dirty thoughts of.
As the night goes on, Harry eventually transitions into “Keep Driving”, which he has been waiting for all night. Ever since you and Harry’s conversation in the hallway, he hasn’t stopped thinking about you. He hasn’t forgotten the way your hand traced his abdomen and how warm your face felt under his fingertips. He especially didn’t forget your little comment. He peers at the back of your head as the intro starts, his hands resting tightly around the microphone. He starts singing, excitedly waiting for the bridge.
You actually really liked his music, and it frustrated you sometimes that he was so annoying because it made it hard to appreciate. However, as a new song begins you face your attention to the popstar smoothly singing the words.
“Passports and footwells, kiss her and don’t tells,” Harry sings, eyes gliding toward yours as he winks. A group of girls screams happily behind you, but you had a strange feeling it wasn’t for them. Your heart jumps as you watch his eyes drift away to other parts of the audience. You continue to watch him with squinted eyes and a chewed lip, trying to decipher why he just did that.
The entire crowd sings along to the absurd and random bridge, everyone putting their full heart into it. It was endearing to see so many people coming together to appreciate a common interest. A reason you loved this job was because you loved music, and every day it reminded you of how many people loved it just as much.
“Cocaine, side boob, choke her with a sea view,” Harry motions his hand towards his throat, pretending to choke himself. You notice how he pinches the sides without gripping all the way, wondering if he did that on purpose or not. When it comes to choking (as a sexual act), it is important to not fully wrap a hand around their neck, so they don’t… well, pass out or die. If he knew that, that must mean he’s into it…
His green eyes locked on yours for every word of that line, his mouth wide as he husked out the lyrics. You swallow, heart racing as familiar heat creeps up your neck. Before you could look away, he removes his hand from his own neck and points directly at you. Your eyes widen as you forget to breathe, coughing on your flusteredness.
What. The. Fuck?
With uneven and strangled breaths, you tell one of your co-workers that you feel unwell and need to use the restroom. He nods understandably and you jog to the nearest bathroom.
As Harry continues to perform, he notices you vanished. He wasn’t sure when, but your figure was no longer stuck standstill to the left of the stage after he finished Matilda and Little Freak. Something in him pangs with pain, but he assumes it’s from the depressing songs he just sang. He doesn’t have enough time to ponder and find the real answer because the delicate Satellite intro begins to play throughout the arena. He begins to sing just like he has all night, but he can’t keep his eyes from wandering to that empty gap between all the workers.
The iconic and chaotic screams of tonight become only a memory as the show ends. Thousands of stylish people begin to leave the arena safely with the help of security like yourself. However, you left the room right when the show ended because you were too unwell to say the least.
When you came back from the bathroom after Harry’s little choking charade, you came back to him dancing and singing as if nothing happened. As the night continued on, his enchanting eyes would hook onto yours for a second too long. Every time he strategically moved, hand sliding seductively down his torso or hips swaying sexily, his eyes would burn holes in your skin.
Saying you were flushed and flustered during the concert was an understatement; you felt like you were bathing in a sauna on a summer day. The anger that bubbled under your heated skin didn’t help in cooling you down; it only made you more furious that his little antics affected you so easily. You tried to deny the fact that he was looking directly at you by rolling your eyes, but when he did it more than occasionally with that infamous smirk on his face, it confirmed the theory.
You pushed through the authorized doors, sweating under your uniform. You were determined to find him and talk to him. In some twisted way, you felt like he had some power over you now. Like he had won this stupid little war you had. You knew he knew what he was doing, and you were sure he had an idea of how it made you feel. You didn’t like that.
When your blazing eyes discover his dressing room door, you pound your clenching fist against it. You don’t wait for him to answer before opening the door impatiently yourself.
“Harry—” Your words get caught in your throat as you eye the half naked man in front of you. Harry stands shirtless across the small room, sweat glistening on his tattooed skin as a towel rests upon his shoulder. He casually turns around, an unamused expression on his face. You gulp, pushing all your feelings down. “What the fuck was that?”
“What was what?” Harry asks innocently as he dabs the towel over his sheer skin. You try not to avert your eyes from his face, but he’s making it incredibly difficult to not look at his toned abs and arms.
“The hand! On the neck!” You whisper-shout at him as he nonchalantly strides closer to you and lays the towel on the couch. You remain angry as he stands in front of you with a guiltless look on his face.
“I beg your pardon?” He politely states with huge eyes, causing you to growl and nearly punch him in the mouth. Maybe if you did it hard enough, he would never talk again. You heavily considered it.
“Th-the choking thing!” You stumble over your words out of frustration. His body radiated heat that you were close enough to feel, heart pounding unwillingly in your chest from the sudden proximity.
“Ohh, you mean this?” Harry delicately rests his ringed hand over your neck, any word you even thought about saying got caught in your throat.
His fingertips press lightly against the pulses on your neck, metal digging into your skin delightfully. You attempt to swallow your saliva as your heart beats crazily. After a few seconds, your vision gets slightly dizzy and your heart stammers faster and faster. He releases the pressure, hand remaining lightly around your throat. You take heavy breaths, looking up at him as flames light up in your irises.
“Har—”
“Ah ah, no talking yet. I think you’ve done enough of that,” He demands deeply with a threatening press to your pulse. You obey with a heavy puff as he releases, not having much of a choice. Being right next to the door, his opposite hand twists the tiny lock, trapping you inside.
“Do you remember what you said before I went on?” As your mind flashes through the memories of tonight, you’re reminded of a handful of things you said to him. But you didn’t know which one he was referring to, so you shake your head. “My ego. You said it was so big it must make up for something. What did you mean by that?”
Your eyes widen as heat crawls up your skin quickly. Harry can feel you gulp against his hand as you remember the underlying reason behind the insult.
Harry knew what you meant, he just wanted to hear you say it. Your little bursts of anger gave him enjoyment and relief, especially after 15 shows working together. The acid that spat from your mouth always ignited a fire inside of him that he’s never felt from anyone else. He never understood it, but when he was on stage and saw how flustered you were, it finally clicked. Your little comment earlier gave him an opportunity.
“Your dick is small,” You grumble, looking down at the carpeted floor.
“What was that?”
“Your dick. Is. Small.” You emphasize every repeated word with an irritating puff. Like earlier, a psychotic chuckle elicits from his mouth, scaring you from his unknown thoughts.
“I don’t like your big, bratty attitude.”
“It’s nowhere near as big as your ego.”
With your words and his rippled laughter, the last thing you expected him to do was kiss you. It was sloppy and hungry as he ripped apart your jacket until the zipper broke. You gasp as it falls to the floor around you, allowing him to slip his tongue dangerously into your agape mouth. His lips move in rhythm against yours, teeth clanging with desperation. Your hands intertwine with his damp curls and you tug them viciously. A groan elicits from his throat as his hand tightens around your neck. He pulls away, both of you heaving from the intensity and heat.
“What the–”
“No talking. Got it, brat?” His grasp is strong against you, rings pinching your skin tastefully. Your cunt aches underneath the tight fabric of your uniform, frustratingly horny from his appeal. His muscles bulk as he chaotically unbuttons your pants, yanking them down thighs.
You hastingly flip off your shoes, cursing at yourself for giving into him. His rough palms on your skin set you on fire; shots of electricity soaring straight to your clit. The blinding pinches of his fingers around your throat create a pool of arousal in your panties, and it disgusts you how turned on you are from him.
“How wet are you right now?”
“Drier than a desert,” You lie through gritted teeth as he pushes you harsher against the wall.
“I’ll see about that.”
Following his own word, his free hand slips past your underwear and cups your pussy. A strangled noise leaves you at the feeling of his bare hand touching you so vulnerably. He has you at his mercy, for once not being able to fight back. Instinctively, you grind once over his rugged palm needily and he growls at your heavy arousal.
“Fuckin’ brat,” He spits, rubbing against your heat ferociously. For the first time tonight, you moan unwilling at his movements, hands grasping securely on his shoulder blades.
With a smug smirk, Harry continues to itch your clit, giving you a blissful friction that has your eyes rolling. Your stomach tenses as you bite your lip forcefully, containing all of your noises. You almost forget about his hand on your neck until he presses along your pulses. Stars begin to gloss over your vision as heated lust fogs up your mind. You feel your body float into the sky until you're seeing the clouds of pure ecstasy surround you.
As the burning blood runs through your veins again, you take a deep breath that causes you to moan out loudly. You slap a hand over your own mouth at your foolishness, knowing that anyone could hear you and know exactly what was going on.
You see, Harry is famous. He can get away with a lot of things like sleeping with a fan or maybe even texting and driving. But you, an average security worker, could not. If someone knew what you were doing right now, you’d be fired on the spot.
However, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care as Harry slots a slender finger inside of you. You whimper at how easily he slipped it in. You were so fucking turned on, you could fix the drought. He simply curls his digit as you clutch around him, causing him to hiss.
Harry removes his hand from your panties, causing your eyes to shoot open and glare at him angrily. He brings your wetness up to his mouth and widens, sucking away all of your juices from his fingertips. Your chest heaves at the sight, exasperated and outraged that he’s having so much fun with this.
“For someone so hostile, you taste very sweet,” His taunts, making you growl. You try to push him off of you because you were sick of him. Sick of his games and sick of his ego. Way too sick of his ego. You didn’t have time for this. But he holds you secure by locking you to the wall with his hand. “Nuh uh, we’re not done just yet. We haven’t even gotten to the fun part. You know, where I show you you’re wrong.”
With a skillful hand, he unzips his trousers and tears your panties off your body. You gasp, shocked at how impulsive he’s being. He pushes his briefs down until they’re around his ankles. His cock springs free, large and leaking. His tip is pink followed by several veins running along the sides. You can see its neglect, aching and desperate– you can feel the pain. But your heart stammers wildly in your chest when you really comprehend his size. He was thick and bulky, but also long and lengthy. It almost looked fake because it was so surreal. People would pay big money for that, and having an idea of his income, maybe he had.
“Did you pay for that? Because there is no way,” You whisper breathily in the heated silence. He magically slips on a miraculous condom that he must have gotten while you were daydreaming in a haze. Of course, he just has condoms with him. He chuckles hoarsely and shortly as he leans closer toward your ear.
“All natural, baby,” He rasps from the aftermath of singing all night. His breath is soft and electrifying on your skin, causing your cunt to throb with undeniable desire.
His thumb rests on your pulsating clit, petting it delicately, unlike the roughness of his hand on your throat. Your thighs clench, sensitive because he’s being such a tease. He runs his fingertips over your wetness as more begins to leak out of you, his cold, metal rings grazing the skin of your inner thighs.
“What is taking you so long? Scared your fake dick is going to fall off?” You strangle out your snarky words from behind his choking grasp. He clenches his teeth in annoyance as he grips your supple thigh and hooks it around his hip.
“I was going to ask if you were ready, but since you want to be so impatient, I don’t really give a fuck anymore,” And with that, he thrusts inside of you completely.
Harry tucks himself deep in you, giving you no mercy with his vicious movements. Your nosy moan echoes throughout the tiny dressing room, but you didn’t have enough self-awareness to stop it. His thick cock stretches out your walls so deliciously, your pussy constricts snuggly around him. He groans at your tightness, wet and warm all around him. He plunges brisker into you, addicted to the feeling of your velvety cunt wrapping him.
Your legs tremble with his powerful propels. If he wasn’t pinning you with his cock wrathfully into the wall, you’re sure your legs would give out from underneath you. You squeeze your leg hooked on his hip, bringing him closer and deeper inside of you. You both share a collective groan at the new feeling, touching a place that sends you both into overwhelming bliss.
“Still small?” He husks smugly as his hand caresses the nape of your neck, controlling your pulses. Harry moans when you grind your hips into his, rubbing against his shaft mesmerizingly.
“I’m,” You try to contain your moan in order to drain his satisfaction, “unimpressed.”
“Really? How about I go deeper?” Like before, he lifts up your other leg, latching your body completely to his. You gasp as you leave the ground, hands digging into his shoulders brutally. He shoves you against the wall, fingers restricting your airflow as he slams into harsher than before.
Harry rams inside of you at a new angle, intensifying the pleasure to an even higher level than before. His thrusts are brutally quick, as if he was trying to win a race. Losing your grip, one of your hands falls down his crafted torso, tracing his toned and tattooed skin. Your eyes roll back in pure ecstasy as you lose reality. You feel your spirit leave your body; you swear you were dangling above yourself. With your lack of oxygen, the world slowly slips away from you in a lustful haze. If you died now, you would be beyond pissed because you were with Harry, but at least you had the best sex of your whole life.
But you would never, in a million years, tell Harry that.
His coarse hand drags down your abdomen, leaving a blaze in its trail. His rugged thumb circles hastingly over your bud, causing flashes of your orgasm to appear in view at the sensation. As your head begins to drop forward, Harry releases the blinding pressure from your neck and slams his hand on the wall to balance on. You desperately inhale, craving the oxygen to bring you back to the present.
When your stomach tightens and you squeeze around his length, it alerts you both that you were on the brink of your orgasm. The overwhelming pleasure from his cock doesn’t miss to prevail over you as he jabs your cunt with no sympathy. Your nails scratch along his butterfly tattoo that sits beautifully in between you both, almost too innocent to be involved in such a sinful act. The head of his shaft repeatedly hits your g-spot, eliciting loud cries from your mouth. He doesn’t try to quiet you.
“Tell me, Y/N. Tell me who’s making you feel this good,” Harry demands as he rocks and flicks his hips skillfully. You were too desperate and way too close to reply with a sassy remark. However, your mind flashes over the memory of tonight when Harry read that sign. That sign. You knew if you didn’t listen to him he would take it away from you.
You hated how he had so much control over you. But your body thought otherwise.
“You! You’re making me feel so good, Daddy,” Breathless moans and mewls tumble from your mouth as your climax shakes your whole body. “So deep.”
He growls heavily against your ear, your body vibrating from the effect. A devilish smirk haunts your lips at how affected he is by the simple name, and in some way, you felt like you had a centimeter of his control.
“Daddy, huh? God, you’re such a slut,” He grunts, squeezing the back of your neck as he twitches inside of you. “Am I still small? Hm?”
“N-no, you’re big, Daddy. So deep inside of me. Fuck, I’m gonna come,” You whine embarrassingly as your head shakes against the wall.
“Come, Y/N. Come all over my big cock,” He husks in your ear as you continue to thrash on the wall. To silence you, Harry catches your lips with his. Your pussy tightens around his length as your orgasm waves over you. Your body and mind submerges into a blissful fog as your climax surrounds him. His thrusts become languid and messy as he feels your cum soak his cock. Your tongue slips graciously along his pink lips, helping him finish. If you weren’t in an orgasmic haze, you would have walked out and left him edged.
With a string of profanities against your lips, his length spasms against your walls. His cum shoots into the condom, and within a few moments, his movements still.
Heavy breathing, hearts racing, muscles trembling, and sweat glistening, you two stand with your bodies pressed together. You swallow at the awkward aftermath because you didn’t think this far. You never even thought this was a possibility in any universe.
You just had sex with Harry. Oh shit.
He watches as you come to the realization. You quickly push him off of you and pull up your pants. You wince when you notice that you have no underwear because Harry tore them to shreds. Slipping on your shoes, Harry saunters over to his vanity and wraps a towel around his waist.
“Don’t act so terrified, Y/N,” His familiar cocky and nonchalant character was back like normal, and in all honesty, it gave you some type of comfort. His attitude gave you an excuse to be irritated and allowed you to shift away from the awkwardness that remained wrapped around your throat. Even if he was across the room from you now, you could still feel the tight grasp of his ringed fingers pinching your neck. You had a feeling that everything he did would now somehow remind you of sex with him.
“How are you so okay right now? Do you just do this with everyone?”
“What do you mean?”
“So you just bring people back here after every show and have sex with them?”
“Bloody hell, Y/N. No, I don’t do that,” He practically winces from your accusation, and you subconsciously relax your muscles at his denial. “Never done that actually.”
“So then what was this?”
“Technically, you came in here,” He pins you with a knowing look and you roll your eyes with a huff.
“Just so you know, no one can know about this, okay? And I know you probably couldn’t give less of a shit, but I could be fired,” Your jaw ticks as your eyes wander around the room, refusing to look at him directly.
“I won’t tell anyone. Promise,” Although he is a cocky and sarcastic jerk, you can’t help but realize that his tone is one hundred percent genuine. With a simple nod, you take his word for it and start to exit the room.
“By the way, you owe me new underwear.”
“Anything you like in particular?” With your hand on the knob, you think for a moment.
“I want one of everything. I know it won’t even put a dent in your pocket, but I like to think that I did,” As his chuckle fills your ears, it becomes more and more distant as you exit the small room. Security and crew buzz around the hallways, shocking you frozen immediately. You’re praying that nobody saw you walk out of Harry’s room, let alone heard you five minutes ago.
“Y/N! There you are. Did you know that the crew had a prank war under the stage? It was so funny, God, you just had to be there. And I was laughing my ass off when Harry’s bus left without Harry,” Your co-worker pats your shoulder as she laughs. In any normal circumstance, you would join in on her hysterics, but a small gasp leaves your mouth as your hand covers your lips.
“They left?”
“Yeah. They always leave in a rush I guess,” She replies to your question and then rambles on about the pranks from the crew. Your head turns back to peer at Harry’s dressing room door. You notice that the little paper with his name has been removed from the slot.
Everything was too chaotic for anyone to know where he was.
Now, that’s hilarious.
You subtly giggle as you and your friend trail down the hallway. In the back of your mind, you imagine Harry sitting all alone in the room. He probably had a valet take his car, so now he had nothing. You assumed most of his belongings were on the bus, and maybe that even meant his phone. Impulsively, you tell your friend you have to go to the bathroom and turn around. You head back to his dressing room and enter without knocking this time. Unlike before, he’s fully dressed with an annoyed look on his face. You tuck your lips inside of your mouth, trying to contain your giggles at his irritation of the situation.
“You know they left? Without me? How do they even do that?!” You can’t hold it back anymore as your laughter ripples from you. You cover the noise with your hands, but it’s no use.
“They probably realized they don’t really like you anymore.”
“Oh, ha ha. So funny, Y/N,” Harry says facetiously and rolls his eyes as he stuffs everything in his small carry-on bag. “I feel like this is the moment where you offer me a ride.”
“Mm only if I get something out of it.”
“Anything you want I can probably get it, let’s just go,” He ushers you both out of the door and when you walk into the hallway this time, it’s empty. You don’t hear a peep as you trudge through the carpeted walkways all the way outside to the secure parking lot. You get to your car and you both slip inside when you unlock it.
“You know, I expected better from you.”
“I will leave you here,” You glare at him from across the console.
“I can get you a car. Do you want the one I was driving earlier? The red reminds me of how ferocious you are all the time.”
“You mean the one that you nearly killed me with? No thanks,” You shove the key into the ignition and reverse out of the deserted area. “You know, you never told me what you were actually doing on your phone anyway.”
“Oh, I was looking at a video of my Goddaughter. She was getting her nails painted,” He smiles softly, recalling the short clip of her pure happiness.
“Sounds adorable, but that was still wrong,” He groans and slams his head against the heat rest. You smile smugly in satisfaction as you speed through the empty roads of LA, completely contradicting your opinion.
His bus leaving was like perfect karma that was made to humble him. Maybe Harry wasn’t the worst person ever. As long as you had the wheel.
tags: @crybabyddl @raajali3
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diwatopia · 1 year
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★ melt ; hobie.
synopsis. the love hobie has for you is eternal.
info. fluff, hobie brown x gn!reader, 481 words.
warnings. words of affirmation (?), kissing, physical touch, couple uses of y/n, grammatical errors :P
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the giggle that wisps past your lips is pure happiness to hobie.
the way your eyes crinkle when you smile your goofy, toothy grin. or how your eyebrows knit together when you're attempting to understand a joke. or the way you curl into yourself when laughing, clutching your chest as if it would help the chuckles die down.
you look so unbelievably pretty under the moonlight, eyes twinkling as the stars reflect in them. the way your laughter continues to float around in the night sky, echoing into his ears as a constant reminder of how beautiful you are.
it honestly doesn't surprise him, you're the epitome of perfect and as he continues to watch you underneath the moonlight, he can't help but helplessly gaze at you.
he silently watches you, listening intently to all the things you have to say because everything that puffs past your lips is too important for him to ignore.
"bee?" you're voice is soft like satin, eyes still holding that twinkle. he cracks a smile at your crooked grin, head tilting sideways as if silently asking what was wrong. "everything okay?".
he nods once, twice.
"what's going on in that head of yours?" you ask.
hobie shrugs, "you're beautiful, y'know that?".
his words are warmer than a cup of sweet black tea, and from the sound of it, it seems as if he was holding that in for quite sometime. your eyes grow wide alongside your smile. he smiles at the way you trip over your words, all twenty-six letters of the alphabet nowhere to be seen as you open and close your mouth like a fish out of water.
"w- well i — thank you, bee..." you finally say, bumping your shoulder into his as that all to familiar giddy feeling begins to wrap itself around your body like a warm blanket on a chilly night.
it takes you a second to collect your bearings, cheeks flushed a beautiful strawberry hue as you glance around the night sky. your heart is thumping against your chest at an animalistic pace as if you ran a marathon, your face hot.
"you're beautiful too," you whisper out into the night sky. hobie hums, scooting closer to you so your shoulders and knees were touching.
"so, so beautiful, bee. everything about you is —"
"perfect?" he finishes your sentence, easily catching your attention. you take a hard look at him, drinking in his features as you slowly nod. the two of you gaze into each other's eyes before you burst out laughing.
"yeah, i tend to have that effect on people" you joke around, placing your head upon his shoulder, wrapping both your arms around one of his lanky ones. "you're lucky i love ya', you geezer" he mutters, placing a kiss to the crown of your head before resting his cheek against it.
"yeah, yeah. i love you too."
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⋆ ˚。 ୨୧ reblogs / feedback are highly appreciated. thank you!
★ diwa's notes. lets hope this one gets more than 5 notes bc the last time was so unbelievably embarrassing (but also bc i was shadowbanned bc tumblr hates me)
© ilupearls 2023.
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33max · 8 months
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After the success of Max Fest 2023, it is time for… Max Fest 2024!
What is Max Fest?
Max Fest is a fest dedicated to everything Max! Whether your work focuses solely on Max, or on a pairing including Max, Max Fest is a chance for Max lovers to create and consume all the Max content.
What could I do for Max Fest?
It’s completely up to you. Max Fest is available to everyone - writers, artists, creatives, bakers etc.
You could: write a fic, create some art, make a playlist, make a gifset, make a video, knit something… and much much more.
What pairings are allowed?
Any Max pairings are allowed, with the exception of reader insert. Just make sure you tag your work accordingly.
Is PWP or [insert genre here] allowed?
Yes, all genres are allowed and encouraged.
What are the requirements?
Your creation must be Max centric, either as the focus or as part of the main pairing.
Your creation should be a minimum of 1000 words, or a time equivalent if you are creating something other than fic.
When is the deadline?
30th April, and content will go live on 1st May.
Do I need to sign up?
No, it’s a no pressure fest. Simply upload to the collection before the deadline if you want to participate.
Where is the AO3 collection?
Here!
What should I do if I’m not posting to AO3?
If you can post your work to AO3, please do! However if AO3 doesn’t accept your art format then please use the tag #maxfest2024 on tumblr.
Is there a discord server I could join?
Not specific for Max Fest, but you can join the Golden Boots Boy Max Server if you want to find like minded creatives also taking part.
If you have any further questions on the event, or if you need some encouragement, feel free to drop me a message. I am really looking forward to feasting on all of the Max content!
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ladylaviniya · 8 months
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The Dog Days Are Over
MasterList || Chapter 2
Chapter Summary: You were destined to be another Alpha in your family...so why does the test say you're an Omega?
Chapter Warnings: 18+ Dead Dove Do Not Eat, Omegaverse, A/B/O, age-gap, vaginal medical examination, inspired by the tragedy and abuse of the Trouble Teen Industries in America.
Pairing: Alpha!Henry Cavill X Omega!Reader
Word Count: 7k
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Inspiring Song: The Dog Days By Florence & The Machine
Author Notes:
★Please if you have been affected by the trouble teen industry scroll down and click one of the links at the bottom of the fic. I cannot promise they will help but I can promise it's always an option to try. 💙 You may have seen this fic posted before.
★I have had to repost this story because my old account had been shadow banned.
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☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤
April 15th 2023, 13:00pm, Trinity, California, America.
“Holy shit, holy shit, no, no, no!” You sobbed.
To the light of your bathroom you held a plastic stick test, it’s tip was soaked in your urine. Five other tests were on the floor around your feet, all positive; all Omega.
You couldn’t believe this, your whole life you had heard on repeat over and over “Alpha, Alpha, you are an Alpha.”
Her parents were both Alphas which meant you were supposed to be an Alpha!
The possibility of being an Omega for you had to be less than six percent. The last Omega in your family was your great-great-grandmother on your mother’s side or some distant shit like that. Your aunts and uncles were all Alphas.
Your family have always told you that “to be an Omega is to be a waste of time. A curse. A weak link of society.”
Omegas were submissive, obedient, they were at home looking after pups or in the hospital at the nursery or at daycares looking after loud, slobbering toddlers.
Your family were strongly built, they were made of soldiers, police officers, construction developers, political leaders and company CEO’s. Not pathetic, whiney housewives. Omegas were “too emotional” for those bigger fields.
Currently you were seeing your whole world and way of life swirling down the toilet bowl as you flushed it. You wanted to stay in college and study to be a high paid vet! Now you were risking being sent to a correctional centre or foreign country with extra distant family and forced to knit and paint until finally sold off to a partner or a birthing centre for science.
You sobbed harder before finally vomiting over the toilet bowl induced by the overwhelming stress.
Laying your cheek on the seat you glanced at your phones time and cringed. Your mother would be home any minute! Picking up each test, you considered snapping them in half and clogging the toilet up with them, but what was the point? When scent was in the picture evolution was the final bitch...
Looking at the many smiley faces in your hands you felt like they were mocking you, laughing at your further misery. Normally you would have gotten angry, but now…instead you were consumed by hopelessness and sadness.
You cried and cradled the pee tests to your chest. Stumbling out of the bathroom you floated to your side table and laid the tests down. You slumped and crawled into your bed, beneath your covers, you hugged the duvets and sniffled.
“W-worst day ever,” you whimpered and whined over and over, muffled by the softness of your pillows.
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☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤
April 15th 2023, 16:30pm, Trinity, California, America.
“Y/N! Come down here young lady!” Your mother called from the kitchen.
Your eyes flashed open, You were wrapped in a tumble of your sheets and blankets. Your mother must’ve just come just gotten home, she was always so busy with her corporate work. You hadn’t seen your dad in two weeks since his overtime in the city bank.
Who were you to complain? It paid for everything you had ever known...You just wished some money could’ve bought times you missed or never experienced with your family...
You could hear her call again, firmer this time around.
You groaned and dragged yourself up from your bed and down the stairs. Your stomach growled, you were starved...hungry. You looked at your phone again and squinted at the time...four hour long nap.
You wondered what your mother was planning to cook or if she was just going to order another pizza, her cooking sucked if you were being honest...
Stepping into the kitchen your mother was kicking off her leather shoes and ripping her suit blazer over the counter. She looked angry, god why was she so pissed now? What had you done this time?
“What did I say about boys?” She snapped over her shoulder. She slammed the medical cabinet shut and frantically popped a suppressant and painkiller. She swallowed them dry and grunted, clenching a fist and held up an accusing finger at you.
Sure she had every right to be grumpy. It was your job to complete chores while you studied at home. Laundry hadn’t been folded and dishes hadn’t been put away from the dish washer.
But to be mad about boys? Now that, you didn’t understand the sudden burst of tone.
You felt your body loosen and turn icy, your skin covered in goosebumps.
Your mother was furiously popping a second pill before her when you shivered, “D-don’t bring boys over.”
She sneered, her canines flashing; her eyes identical to yours, glared you down.
Stepping around you to the pantry cupboards, she whipped out an air freshener and dosed the room in a scent of lavender…only to be clouded by hormonal pheromones again...the lavender was defenceless against the smell.
You felt the air grow painfully heavy as your mother hissed and sprayed the can out, before furiously slamming onto the counter and slamming the cupboards shut.
“Then why the fuck do I smell an omega?!” her sharp nail pointed to the ceiling and she began yelling as though there was someone upstairs she was calling to, “You tell that bloody boy to get out before I haul his goddamn omega ass out onto the fucking sidewalk!”
Omega…She thinks I brought an omega over…She smells…me…omega…I’m an omega…no…no…
“M-mum…I don’t have a b-boy over,” You stepped from side to side nervously and wrung your hands.
Your mother pinched the bridge her of nose and sighed, “Well Y/N…I didn’t know you were into girls,” gently reaching out, she pulled back your silk cap, releasing your protected hair, “…but she needs to leave.”
 Your mother’s fingers touched your cheek, she flinched at the heat in your face, you were boiling. It was then that colour started to fade from her face.
“Mom, please-” Before you could explain that you were the cause of the flooding scent, she marched her way up stairs and slammed open your bedroom door where a giant wave of humid Omega scent flew out.
No…no! Mom! Stop! No!
Your voice was silent, your lips shut in a worried grimace.
As you ran up the stairs after her, you could hear your mother’s high pitched scream.
☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤
April 15th 2023, 17:45pm, Trinity, California, America.
The hospital was…cold…the air-conditioning peltsd down on your neck, it made you want to snuggle deeper into your sweater, it might’ve been spring and warming up but you felt so hot and cold and you knew the soft material is what you needed.
Your mother was trembling just as hard as you were. Her knee was bouncing hard and she.keot wiping her mouth and checking her phone. Your father wasnt responding to any of her texts or calls.... you couldn’t tell if your mother was experiencing fear, rage even …disappointment. She hadn’t let you touch her ever since she found all the positive Omega tests. When you tried to hold her hand, she growled at you from the back of her throat.
It hurt your feelings badly.
You craved touch, you needed support, you needed your mum, you needed affection.
The waiting room was almost empty, the only other people was an Omega man with his pup in a sling while his Alpha wife continued to protectively touch their baby’s forehead. You stared at the baby though… pups…where are my pups?...
“Y/N Y/L/N?” an English accent cut through the train of thought on the baby. In the doorway to the hall, a tall doctor was looking between you and the couple. When you stood up, with your mother hot on your tail, he smiled and led your both to his office.
Awkwardly you sat down onto a waiting chair next to the doctors desk. Taking a deep breath you could smell the scent of Alpha and hand sanitiser. The overwhelming senses made you feel slightly nauseas.
Your mother sat beside you with an annoyed sigh, she lifted her hand out to the doctor to shake it, “Y/M/N, Mrs Y/L/n, Y/N's mother.”
The doctor gave a side glance at her reaction and then looked at you with a soft smile.
He strained in his professional British tone, “Hello Mrs Y/L/N, I’m Doctor Cavill.”
After the two Alphas acquainted themselves he finally sat in his wheeley chair and regarded you.
“What can I help you with today Miss Y/L/N?” he smiled.
You noticed how he looked so clean, and was built like a brickhouse, he smelt like an Alpha. The rooms light glinted on his medical wrist band proclaiming him as his blood type and confirming his own scent.
Behind his spectacles, his eyes were kind, made of two colours, blue and his left eye had a tip of brown…it was merely something you saw...his smile was warm like a freshly baked cookie. Oh god…you was aroused.
You didn’t realise your weren’t answering his question when he stared at you. Your mother finally answered.
“She smells like an Omega.”
Such a dirty word...Omega...you cringed.
....goddess...please don’t let me be a homely sulk.
The Doctor then turned his attention away and pursed his lips and lifted a single brow at your mother, “Is something wrong with that?”
The older woman scoffed and rose her voice to a humiliating state. Your heart was beating fast, your cheeks were heating up and you tried sinking further into the seat. Your nose dug into the woollen shoulder of your sweater. What you would give to be allowed to hide away from this situation.
“Her father and I are both pure blooded Alphas! How can this happen!? The last omega we had was my great-grandmother and that’s it!”
Doctor Cavill sighed calmly as he took off his glasses and placed them on his desk. He folded his arms and stood from his desk, “I see, well then Mrs Y/L/N, please step outside to the waiting room. I will need to conduct a blood and vaginal test.”
Your mother obviously huffed and grumbled about ‘how unprofessional’ and ‘surely I can stay’.
Even now you wanted her to leave with her hostile attitude. Luckily there was no way a female Alpha would argue with a male Alpha. When the door shut though it felt strange. All the heavy tension in the room lifted off of your chest. You felt instantly calmer and made it easier to breathe.
The doctor sat back into his desk chair and crossed a leg over another casually.
“So…” he smiled, “How do you feel Miss Y/L/N?”
You gulped slightly and shakily answered, “Everything is smelling sweeter than normal,” you hated the scent of hand sanitiser but now it was something you wanted to shove up your nose.
If it blocked out every other scent from the dust on the walls to the chocolate in the vending machine outside to the scent of the alpha right in front of you…You would drink it all down.
“No,” he chuckled, pushing back from his desk and started rummaging through his desk for medical items, “I mean, are you okay? Are you stressed or scared, or are you alright? I can always get a cup of water for you. But we need to take your blood first.”
You shook your head and tucked your neck deeper down into your sweater. Your fingers felt the scratchiness of the wool. You nodded and slipped the material off over your head and folded it neatly onto the chair your mother sat.
“I’m terrified,” you confessed, your voice choked up, “I don’t want to be an Omega, I hope this is just a stupid puberty flux…maybe it’s a flip!”
It wasn’t uncommon for this situation to happen. Hormones can sometimes Flip and shows signs for the two other blood types, sometimes blood has become contaminated due to high iron levels or too much sugar intake. Diabetes were always Flipping the board. There were a million things that could cause a Flip in the hormonal pool.
“There’s nothing wrong with being an Omega you know,” the doctor commented sternly, holding up a needle, changing the needle point while you choked.
You felt unusually insulted, “Everything is wrong with being an Omega, I won’t get the job I want and I won’t be allowed to come to parties with my friends, I’ll be stuck home with a…a…a fucking baby. Or sent to a breeding farm! I heard about the science experiments conducted on pregnant Omegas in the camps.”
The doctor turn abruptly at yoj and narrowed his eyes at you, he appeared offended. What does he need to be offended about, he’s an Alpha!
But his frown became a smirk, “You’re aware they are safetly committed with the Omegas consent?”
 He patted the medical chair in the centre of the room, “But whatever case, what do you want to do Career wise?” he asked while you crawled up atop of the tall chair and let him pull up your sleeve and wipe the alcohol on your arm.
“I want to be a vet,” you winced as the needle broke through your skin. You looked away from the bubbling blood being sucked up through the tube.
As he pulled away and capped the needle tip he asked, “Ever thought about midwifery?”
“I don’t like babies,” you snorted ignoring how desperately you were yearning to have one of your own ten minutes ago, “They’re so uncomfortable to be around. And I don’t want to listen to a screaming woman in labour.”
You noticed the movement in his shoulders as they slumped, he nodded and you felt like you were failing an unspoken test. You felt a rising anxiety, you growled to yourself, it’s just a hormonal Flip.
“Fair enough,” Doctor Cavill said off handily, he sealed up your blood tube in a plastic bag and started to write your details. The pen cap lazily hung from his lips. He looked like he smoked…he didn’t smell like it though, maybe it was the way he stood. His scent was so easy to smell and feel…you yearned to know if he could smell you. And to your tragic uncontrol, your underwear were rubbing rough against your sensitive areas, the fumes dragged out this needing slick that was sickening.
Being omega is disgusting, this is what they do all the time? Gross! GET ME SOME ALPHA HORMONES NOW.
You knew this had to be wrong, all the time you had been surrounded by alphas and you had been strong and confident like an alpha, maybe a little strategic like a beta. You were sure though you were alpha rather than beta and there was no possible way for you to present as a dormant omega for this long!
Normally Omegas presented at fucking fourteen to sixteen not your age!!
“How old are you Miss Y/L/N?”
“I’m eighteen,” You informed him of your birthday and he nodded, writing it down in the corner of the bag.
You were officially pissed off, crossing your arms you felt your eyes watering. “I want to be an Alpha or even a Beta,” You whimpered, “I can’t be an Omega, no way.”
The whimper…Shit! Stop whimpering you baby! Stop proving this point! Could you be anymore Omega!?
The doctor placed the test bag on his desk before gifting yoh a soft tissue “Have you taken a home determine test?” his hands settled onto his knees as he crouched down before you.
You broke out into a light sob and nodded, “ugh huh, I took six different ones…all positive for Omega.”
The doctor smiled sadly and handed you the box of tissues he had on his desk. A nurse came knocking barely after you had started. It made you feel puny when you couldn’t stop yourself from crying. You felt helpless, why couldn’t they just get you some alpha hormones already?
“Please take this to the test room,” he asked the nurse, handling a plastic bag with your needle inside.
Doctor Cavill let you cry as long as you wanted and reminded you that it wasn’t a hundred percent if you were an Omega yet.
The doctor rubbed your back and cleared his throat. From a draw below your feet he pulled out a green plastic cape, “Miss Y/L/N would you like to step into the bathroom there and remove your bottoms? Put the gown on?”
Time to get the vaginal confirmation that you were tighter than a needle hole. You pushed his hand away. God he sounded patronising, even if he was being merely polite about the events unfolding you took it as a personal attack, an underlying “You’re a weak omega, deal with it!”
No! I’m not an Omega!
Things were escalating to quickly; you barely realised the conclusions you were leaping to and how dramatic you were pushing with these emotions. You sniffed hard and snapped at him, “Can’t I just take my pants off now?”
Doctor Cavill shifted back uncomfortably, he grit his teeth and scrunched up his eyes, “I merely am offering a more comfortable option,” he clapped his hands, “But you may if you wish, have you ever attended a gynaecologist for a papsmear?” he asked as he got his tools ready from another draw.
You leaped off the chair and slammed yout foot down.
“Duh!” You yelled, kicking your shoes off, and shoving your pants down, You were furious. Moodswings was a popular symptom of Flips.
“I just want to get this over with. Mum is so pissed off. Can’t wait for some fucking A-pills,” you grumbled, leaning back into the chair and spread your legs apart…normally yoh did this with a female doctor but right now you were too impatient to request a woman and you needed to know how fucked up your Flip was and how long would you be experiencing it and how powerful would the drugs be.
You couldn’t even stand the look your mother gave you when she held up the positive determine tests with horror.
The doctor cleared his throat again, snapping white gloves onto his hand and over his wrist band. He squirted a tube of lube over his hands and over the speculum, lining it up to your vagina and pushed it inside slowly, “Miss Y/L/N, please relax for me.”
You huffed to yourself. I am fucking relaxed! -No you’re not, you’re a bad omega, obey him!
The metal was cold inside of you but you were looking forward to the results: Alpha, Alpha, Alpha, I am Alpha.
He took a flashlight and shone the light down your passage, looking down at your inner muscles, “How often do you practise sexual intercourse Miss Y/L/N?” looking up at you from your fuzzy pussy.
Shit, the scent was strong, it was so sweet like maple syrup and honey but sweeter…lick me. Oh fuck please alpha please please.
You shook your head and blushed, “N-never, I’ve only masturbated. So…last papsmear I only came in to make sure I didnt have a yeast infection.”
You swallowed hard, your head felt hot and you swore yoj could feel cold sweat dripping down, “Am I an Alpha or Beta?”
The doctor dipped two rubber fingers inside of you, patting down and around inside You. And suddenly his eyes widened, he gently slipped out his fingers and the cold speculum out. On his fingers was blood…oh shit…
“You may sit up and dress Miss Y/L/N, “The doctor set his tools and gloves into a silver tray. You trembled…what were you? A or B?
He was washing his hands in the sink right beside your head as you bit your lips and tugged up your undies and jeans back up. The room was so quiet, the only noise was the sinks running water and the air conditioner. You shivered and sniffled.
Doctor Cavill’s shoulders were low, he turned his head and faced you. Twisting his fingers together he shook his head, “Miss Y/L/N,” he started with a long exhaled breath, “You’re days away from your first Estrus.”
The earth dropped and the moon broke and the stars were dimmed…“What do you mean Estrus!?” yoj questioned. Tears spurted from your eyes again. Gagged by nature.
No fucking way. Yes way.
“‘Heat’, an Omega will go into Estrus or commonly known as Heat while an Alpha will go into Oestrus commonly known as a ‘Rut’,” Doctor Cavill tried explain only for the blood to boil out of you and make you scream at him.
“I know what it is! I must be going into Oestrus, n-not an estrus, I can’t be an Omega, doctor! Ch-Check again!”
Sweat trailed from your face down your neck, your heart was punching your insides, seeking an escape through your ribcage.
When you tried undoing your pants again, The doctor tore your hands away and took your wrists up, he was breathing harshly through his nose, “Miss Y/L/N I’m going to have to ask you to sit down and take a deep breath. Listen to me.”
You shook your head over and over, you couldn’t believe it! You were beginning to sob hard, choking on tears.
You wailed, “No, no, no, please doctor, please!”
Out of the depth of the doctor’s chest came a stern growl, “Sit. Down. Now. Or I will have to restrain and sedate you.”
Your body was out of control, you didn’t want to sit but your arse met the chair cushion anyway.
Good omega.
The doctor huffed, shaking his head with disappointment, your head flinched down, cowering and humiliated. You felt apologetic, but this wasn’t the real you!!
“Good girl,” he praised, he handed you a paper cup filled with water from the sink, “Now drink.”
The water was gulped down in a heartbeat, yoh needed the refreshment even if you didn’t want it, your doctor nodded, “That’s it.”
As you sipped on some more water the nurse from earlier stepped inside and handed the doctor a sheet of paper. The blood results… You shook on the spot, your red face panicking.
“Pl-please,” you choked on the water slightly, clearing your sore throat, you sniffled, “What does it say?”
There was still a chance, maybe he was wrong; maybe this was just a intense Oestrus that was causing you to bleed. Maybe it was so strong your vaginal walls were stabbing themselves, seeking out an omega cock to claim.
Cavill looked from you to the parchment a few times, he shook his head. He held out the medical sheet to you and pointed to a positive cross.
The world went silent even as he was talking to you…it was a distant noise. Static.
“Miss Y/L/N, you are as I had diagnosed, Omega positive,” he scratched his neck gland gently, “You are days away from your first Estrus. I will give you a choice to either battle through it with medical aids or medical suppressants.”
You dropped the paper and the cup, the shock was as cold as ice. You felt weak, your arms numb, your eyes rolled back and your mouth lulled open. Your life was completely over.
You were Omega...and you fainted.
☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤Ω☤
April 16th 2023, 1:25am, Trinity, California, America.
When you woke up, you were delirious. The world wouldn’t stop twisting and turning. Above you was a bright light, you cringed away and whimpered. There was a mean bite at your wrist.
You felt cold, washed out. Your body was laid out and angled up a slight. Your cheek rubbed into the soft hospital pillow. You smelt blood, so much metallic salt in the air. And your stomach was viciously growling. You peered down and noticed what was pinching your wrist. Handcuffs. You were handcuffed to the railing of the hospital bed!
Clearing your eyes, you noted how you were surrounded by three blue curtains. One was quick to open, making you jump.
The nurse from earlier smiled at you eagerly, her Beta tag was super shiny in the light, forcing you to blink rapidly, “Oh look, you’re awake. Can you please tell me your full name sweetheart?”
When you sat up you moaned out your entire name.
Before you could ask about the handcuffs being removed, the nurse smiled and held up a torch.
“Wonderful, now I am gonna need to shine a little light in your eye, can you please look into the corner of the ceiling dear?”
Doing as you were told, it was quick and over as soon as it had begun. The nurse was pleased, “Fabulous, right, I’ll be right back, Doctor Cavill needs to have a chat with you.”
“B-but my hand…”
Ignoring you, the nurse left.
Something was clearly off. Why did they handcuff you!? You started to tug at the chain, feeling anxiety seep deep and activate a sense of fight or flight. The curtains reopened. And in stepped the doctor.
He grinned and nodded his head to you, “Hello there Y/N, how are we?”
You weren’t amused in the slightest, quick with retort, “Chained to a bed rail.”
He smiled and whipped out a key, uncuffing you from the bed. You cradled your wrist rubbing the ring indent in your skin, murmuring ‘thankyou’.
Your stomach loudly purred, extinguishing the level of discomfort you wanted to send the doctor. “…and hungry.”
“I’ll tell the nurse to get you some jello,” he chuckled, rubbing his hands. Just as he was to leave, you launched yourself forward and caught his medical coat, “Wh-where’s my mom?”
He softly assured you, “She is just sitting in my room, we were discussing options after I showed her and your father your blood results.” Oh…dad…oh jesus…he finally was here.
You suspected your father to have been incredibly furious. How much furniture did he break?
“You…” you paused, “options…” You gulped and smiled at the doctor, “….I want suppressants...as soon as possible.” They would surely fix everything! You could have some and go have a coffee with your friends tomorrow.
“Not those kind of options…” He sighed and perched himself near your feet at the foot of the bed.
That was a weird answer…what does he mean? Could they change my DNA? Could they turn me into an Alpha.
You had heard of some new sciences like that coming in. The ability to change your DNA genome...
“What other types are there?” you laughed hesitantly.
When he didn’t answer you, It was like the air grew icy and heavy…there’s a reason they kept you chained like a bitch.
There was only one other option....a correctional institution. You felt sick, your hungry belly was replaced with nausea. Your nose sniffled.
“I want to see my mom,” you gulped and moved to slip out of the bed. The medical gown was scratchy against your skin, you started to feel worse, your fingers scrunched up and unravelled. Your body felt dizzy when you stood up to quickly. The doctor attempted to block your way when you peeled back the curtain to many empty beds and a single door with a sign above it...
 “Farewell room.”
No, no, fuck, no! Where’s mom and dad!
You ran at the door and shook at the handle, but it was locked. You couldn’t breathe, you were locked in with the doctor. You couldn’t escape. The floor cleaner and bright lights were clouding your senses, blinding you and burning your nostrils.
You ripped a heavy breath, not thinking it would be so painful after holding it in too long.
I won’t cry, no, no crying!
“Y/N I’m going to need you to calm down,” the doctor informed you setting his hands over your shoulders, you were fast to slap them away. You lowly growled at him and bared your teeth ferally.
Don’t you fucking touch me!
When it clicked at the severe reaction you had made especially to an alpha, you felt instant regret and guilt, you choked on more tear and buried your head into the doctors chest. His heart was beating fast too, but not like your rabbit pounding blood.
“N-no,” she cried, “I want my mommy!”
You felt the doctor soothingly rub his hand over your head and down your back. He hushed you until you were just a whimpering woman.
The door unlocked, and finally…“Y/N…” your mother spoke out to you.
You snapped back around and saw her and your father beside the door. Your father barely came inside, his lips curled in, disappointed, disgusted and silent.
A desperate and hopeful smile came to your face, your hands reached out, “Mom!”
But the older woman just stood back from you...she was keeping distance purposely. The closer you reached and sought her, the more she distanced herself and stood closer to the door.
“M-mom? H-hug me…” you begged, “pl-please mom?”
She sighed and looked away from you, refusing to look you in the eye. Shame.
“Doctor Cavill, your father and I believe it is best if you…go away for sometime,” she clutched her own arms, “…where people can help you.”
You did not see it that way at all, and you just knew she was lying out of her arse. She was getting rid of you...betraying you...disowning you....
“I don’t need to be helped,” you sniffled and smiled, “I just-just need some suppressants.”
“Y/N,” she seethed through her gritted teeth, “Go with the nice nurses.”
“M-mommy, please,” you begged pathetically and got to your knees on the cold tiled floor, “Please don’t do this!”
“STOP!” your mother screamed, “You are making a scene!” she rolled her eyes and turned around to leave, “You will go to ‘Saint Selene’s School For Adolescent Omega.’ We may see you during the summer.” And slammed the door closed.
You flinched at the cracking bang that echoed your ears.
You ran to the door and found it locked, you pounded the window with your fists and screamed out, “D-don’t leave me, please don’t leave me Dad!…M-Mummy!” your parents did not look back as they walked away, abandoning their only child.
Their backs and bodies continued to get smaller and smaller the further they walked. The sight broke your heart and soul. The concept of betrayal could not be clearer. Your breath clouded the glass, your tears slid down and tapped onto the floor, onto your naked feet.
Doctor Cavill’s hand reached out and wrapped around your bicep, trying to tug you back from the door.
“Come on,” he said.
 You shouted, “Let go of me!”
When he did not, you snarled and noticed a lonely pen on the end of a bed frame with a clip board. You grabbed it and jabbed his forearm. The blue ink spattered across his skin while he yelled in pain.
“Get the fuck off of me!” you squealed again and held up the pen with both hands, take a few steps back from the now pissed off Doctor. The sound of the door opening again had your heart rushing.
Mom!?
To your massive disappointment, it was the nurse who was shocked by the scene unfolded. Now you were totally surrounded.
“Put the weapon down!” the beta demanded, holding up her own hands in defence, “Now.”
“Calm,” was the word you heard the doctor say beside your ear, before pressing your back into him, grasping your jaw and finally feeling an incredibly long sting in your neck followed by the unusual flow of liquidised drugs into your body, “calm.”
You were scared, unsure of what was going into your body, your chest thundered with your beating heart until it was like you blinked and everything relaxed. Your body felt instant exhaustion and peace...you snapped back and fell back against his chest.
“Calm...” he whispered, “Calm...”
The last thing you heard...
Calm...
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HELPLINES:
If you are a victim of sexual abuse, assault or domestic violence or know someone who is please reach out to these links that share helpline services, phone numbers or emails. Consent and respect is important in every relationship whether between friends, family or even strangers. .
Australian Helpline Services
UK Helpline Services
American Helpline Services
India Helpline Services.
168 notes · View notes
woso-fan13 · 10 months
Text
Comfortember 2023: 18 (Barca)
18. Cuddles
Mapi knocks lightly on her bedroom door before pushing it open. Peering inside, she’s met with a sight that makes her heart melt. Ingrid is propped up on pillows on her side of the bed, dressed in comfortable clothes with a clean face. She’s holding a book in one hand, quietly reading aloud from it. Her other arm is holding you against her. 
You’re cuddled up to the older woman, asleep with your head on her stomach. Your face is pale, red splotches coloring your cheeks. Your mouth was slightly open, allowing your sleepy breaths to escape. 
Mapi rounds the bed, perching on the edge of the bed next to Ingrid. 
“Has she been out for very long?” she asks. 
Ingrid shakes her head, “no. She got sick twice more, then I tried to get her to sleep but she couldn’t settle. Once I laid down with her, though, she was asleep within a chapter.”
Mapi reaches a hand out, resting it on your forehead to judge the fever radiating off of you. 
“Sometimes a niña just needs her mamá,” she winks to Ingrid. 
“Don’t make me feel old,” Ingrid says while gently hitting Mapi with her book, “I’m not her mother.”
“Just accept it, she’s basically our kid.”
Their laughter rouses you slightly, your brows knitting together as your eyes squeeze shut. This causes the women to quiet instantly, Mapi running a hand over the top of your head while cooing softly to you in Spanish. You settle back into sleep, face relaxing. 
“I’m going to shower quickly, but I’ll be back soon. I can bring medicine, do either of you need anything else?” Mapi asks. 
“No, we’re fine. Hurry, though, you’ve got an empty spot on the bed,” Ingrid replies. 
—-
Mapi quickly showers and gathers everything she could foresee the three of you needing in the next while. Loading it on a tray, she hurries back into her room and sets it on the nightstand before climbing into her side of the bed. 
You’re now sandwiched between the two women, sleeping peacefully as a fever rages through your frame. You don’t move as Mapi moves behind you, arm wrapping around you and settling to rub circles on your aching belly. 
Team mom cuddles were the best medicine. 
366 notes · View notes
melodygatesauthor · 5 months
Text
Feeling You Can't Fight - Chapter Three
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Not Beta Read - Masterlist - Pride Event Fic 🏳️‍🌈
Written for the @flightlessangelwings pride event - (Yes this was written for the 2023 pride event and I'm trying to finish it before pride 2024 I'M SORRY).
Summary (Entire Fic Summary)
After replacing the loathsome former staff manager of the National Art Gallery in London, you find yourself all too interested in one of your employees in particular. Manager and employee relationships aren't allowed, and even if they were, you aren't sure if the nervous gift shoppist would be interested in you anyway. There's only one way to find out...
Reader Inclusivity
Reader is not race coded, is a cis man, taller than MK by a few inches, British, ex military, has a big peen
Tags/Warnings (for entire series)
NSFW, writer is NOT from the UK so please be gentle, I did my best with UK terms and such, smut, anal sex, oral sex, anal creampies, cum eating, cum swallowing, rough sex, Marc has DID, reader has mild PTSD, PTSD symptoms, trauma responses, semi-public sex, praise kink, fluff, comfort, angst, romance, love, forbidden relationship (boss and employee), minor physical violence.
Word Count: 3.1k
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“Wait love wait!”
The entire demeanor of the man in front of you changed into the sweet, caring man that you were smitten with. You let go of him, stepping back and looking down at him with a furrowed brow. You felt your heart racing as your fight or flight kicked in. Steven looked nervous as he stepped forward, pressing his palm to your broad chest.
“D-darling I…well…we have something we want to share with you and I thought that if we’re getting more serious then…no time like the present yeah?”
“Steven…what’s going on?” You were trying not to express your irritation with him, but your balled fists gave you away.
“M’gonna let Marc tell you everything but you have to promise not to hurt him, yeah?” Steven looked up at you, brows turned up and knitted together as he awaited your answer.
He gulped, rubbing your clothed pecks with his hand, smoothing out the wrinkles in your button-down. He tried smiling at you, biting his bottom lip. You didn’t like making Steven so frightened so you let out a deep exhale. If he wasn’t scared or in danger, then you didn’t need to be so on edge. You nodded slowly.
Steven let out a deep breath, “right then, gonna let him out now.”
You watched in awe as Steven’s eyes rolled back in his head and then his body changed again. He stood a little taller, and his expression appeared a little darker. The man breathed deeply, looking up at you before pulling his hand off your body as though he’d been burned. He averted his gaze. You could’ve sworn you saw his cheeks get a little more rosy.
“What the fuck is happenin’?” You asked in a serious tone.
“Look, I told Steven you weren’t ready for this conversation but he insisted we have it so…here we are. He said it was gettin’ serious with you and he didn’t want any more secrets between you two,” he cleared his throat nervously, “my name is Marc Spector.” The man shrugged, “I guess the easiest way to tell you is to just get it out there so…I have an identity disorder as a result of my childhood trauma.”
You both stood silently for a moment while you absorbed the information. You recalled your time in the British Armed Forces, and some of the horrific things you’d seen. Trauma caused the brain to do amazing things; Things that were difficult to explain sometimes. You understood trauma well. You looked at Marc’s face, seeing the seriousness behind his eyes. This wasn’t a game. This wasn’t some guy trying to mess with you, or pull a fast one on you. This was a man who had been through something horrible, or several horrible things, and it caused his mind to tear at the seams.
You nodded in understanding, “alright, yeah, I don’t know everything there is to know about identity disorders but, I’ve got some mental issues of my own mate, keep goin’.”
Marc nodded and exhaled in relief, “well, my…our mom…”
You put a hand on Marc’s shoulder, “s’fine, you don’t have to explain it t’me.”
“I…Steven, wants me to, he wants you to know, and he’s right…I need to be the one to tell you, because I’m the one who was there.” He looked away from you and at the floor, “our mom used to beat me, she hated me.”
You squeezed Marc’s shoulder gently. His head jolted up, glossed eyes meeting with yours. He shook his head, as though he were begging you not to make him continue.
“I meant what I said, and I’m talkin’ to Steven too…you don’t have to explain this t’me. I understand.”
“Fuck,” Marc said, turning away from you and covering his face in his hands.
I was awkward as hell to stand there while Marc cried, but you were glad he was getting it off his chest. You wondered if he’d ever shared this with anyone, or if it was only you. Either way, you knew he wasn’t sharing for his own sake, but instead for Steven’s, and you could respect that. When you look back now, you think that on the same day you met Marc, was the day you fell in love with him too, but you didn’t realize it yet.
“There’s another one too,” Marc looked at the water glass on the table.“Steven, I have to tell him.” You watched the - from your perspective - one sided conversation between Marc and Steven. “You didn’t want to keep this a secret but you want to keep him a secret? St–” Marc grumbled and then looked at you, “I’m telling you, even though Steven doesn’t want me to.”
“Tellin’ me what?”
“Jake is the third one of us. You may never meet him, but he’s here nonetheless,” Marc let out a sharp exhale, “We don’t really see him much either, but…the three of us get along…kinda.”
“Well, if he’s part of Steven’s life, then I look forward to meeting him,” you gave Marc a kind smirk.
You watched Marc’s entire body language change. It wasn’t like before when he switched from Steven to himself, but instead, it looked like his entire body relaxed with your reassurance. Marc looked like he might collapse and start crying again right then and there. You wondered when the last time he’d talked to someone about this was…if he’d ever talked to someone about this.
“Damn. That was…easier than I thought. You took that surprisingly well,” he said, giving you a tight lipped smirk.
“Had a boatload of therapy,” you shrugged, “I learnt long ago that you can’t really tell how the mind is gonna deal with trauma.” You thought now was as good a time as any to change the subject, seeing that Marc was getting uncomfortable again. “So are you…do you like…” you pointed to yourself. Of course you would hop from one uncomfortable topic to another.
Marc’s eyes shot wide once he realized what you were suggesting, “no, no, I like women, one hundred percent.”
Marc crossed his arms and cleared his throat nervously.
“But this, Steven and me, that doesn’t bother you?” You asked.
“Oh, oh, no. Steven’s happy, and the way I see it, that’s the only thing that matters,” Marc’s lips managed to curl into a smirk.
You could tell he cared about Steven, and so the two of you had that much in common, but that wasn’t the last time you saw Marc. You saw him again when you and Steven got into your first argument. It wasn’t anything serious, but it seemed to upset Steven enough to force him into the headspace.
The argument was stupid, and if you were being honest, it was a little funny. Steven walked into your office one afternoon, closing the door behind himself. He was stammering, as he often did when he was thinking about what he wanted to say faster than the words could come out. You chuckled, standing up and walking over to him, cupping his face.
“S’alright love, just tell me what’s wrong,” you brushed your thumb over his stubbled cheek.
“Gettin’ fed up with Linda not pickin’ up her mess in the break room,” Steven groaned, “I know s’not a big deal, not really, but I told her three times to pick up after herself and she still acts like a right slob.”
“Steven, that’s not really somethin’ I deal with,” you said as he huffed out a frustrated breath.
“I know, sometimes I just want to complain a bit, yeah?”
“C’mere,” you said, motioning with your finger.
He walked back over to you and pressed his face into your chest, “I’m irritated.”
You wrapped your arms around him, “I know darling,” you pushed him back at arm’s length, but I know something that might help.”
Steven had joked about wanting to blow you under your desk, but he’d never actually done it yet. In fact, he hadn’t blown you before at all. He acted like you were doing him a favor when you sat down in your big office chair with your legs spread out and his face between them. The way his eyes went wide with excitement and he started drooling you would’ve thought he was the one getting a blowjob.
He looked hungry, fumbling with the button and then the zipper of your pants as he released your cock from its confines. He always - always - made a comment about how big you were. His eyes crossed as your dick lined up between them, and he seemed breathless despite not yet having done anything at all.
“Steven, darling, might be too big f’you to fit in your mouth, it’s alright if you don’t want to.”
He looked up at you, putting a hand on either of your thighs.
“I want to,” he said softly.
Steven licked a stripe up your length, forcing your cock to twitch in response. You grabbed the arms of your chair as he repeated the gesture. You bucked your hips upward involuntarily. Steven giggled and looked up at you.
“Ooh, needy…” He wrapped his fingers around your girth, pumping up and down slowly, “you’re a bit leaky too love.”
“Are you gonna keep teasin’ me, or are you gonna be a good boy and take this thing like you were made to?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.
Steven nodded with a shaky breath, smile fading at your words. You felt bad being so verbally rough with him sometimes, but you knew he enjoyed it. Whenever the two of you were in bed together it was like flipping a switch, making him hard in an instant. You slid down further in your chair, moving one of your hands to the back of his curly head.
He licked up your length again before taking the head in his mouth. You shuddered seeing Steven’s lips stretched around your fat dick. It seemed like he really was made to take it, sliding over the length as though his gag reflex was nonexistent. You exhaled sharply, feeling the way his tongue rolled over the underside of your shaft.
“Oh god Steven, takin’ me so well love, that’s it, just like t-that,” you pushed him down over you even more, “you tap my knee if it’s too much darling, don’t wanna hurt you.”
You felt his throat contract around you. There was still more to go, and you wanted nothing more than to see your entire dick disappear inside his precious mouth. You brushed a thumb over his cheek.
“Relax your throat, Steven, open up f’me,” you felt his muscles relax and you were able to push in further. “That’s it, that’s my good boy.”
Steven moaned over your length as he started bobbing his head in a delicious rhythm. He took one hand off your thighs and you heard the clank of his belt while he started freeing his own cock. The sound of him jerking himself could just barely be heard over the sound of him choking on your dick.
He looked up at you with affectionate and tear glossed eyes when you carded your hand through his hair. You bit your bottom lip and started rolling your hips slowly forward into his mouth, brushing your pubes against his nose as he took every single inch you had to offer.
“Steven, you sure you’ve never done this before?” Your entire body trembled, “s-so good…”
You heard the distinct sound of footsteps approaching the door. You both froze.
“Steven, you locked the door, yeah?”
Steven, in fact, hadn’t locked the door.
Steven made himself as hidden as he could in the space under your desk, where the intruder wouldn’t be able to see him. You rolled up as close as you could get without crushing him in there. John, your boss, walked in, smiling big. He stepped over, putting a hand on the varnished surface of the desk, leaning in to talk to you.
“Hey! Just stoppin’ in to tell you I think you’re doin’ great, and those reports you sent me yesterday…perfect.” He patted your shoulder and you jumped in response.
You felt Steven between your legs trying to put your cock back in your pants, but struggling given its current…state. You were close before while he had it buried in his throat, and that hadn’t changed in the seconds that had gone by. You were still close, and him moving it around wasn’t helping that issue. You kept your eyes on John, but tried like hell to push Steven’s hands and face away from you, but to no avail.
“Well I’m…oh…” you cleared your throat, “I’m glad you l-liked them.”
Steven didn’t get the hint, he was still sliding his hand over your length, trying to get it back inside your boxers. You couldn’t try very hard to stop him, or it would be obvious you were trying to do something under your desk, so you stopped trying, and just hoped that John would leave before…oh god.
You slammed your hand on the desk, “f-fuck!”
To John, you must’ve looked insane, like you were staring at him wide-eyed and shouting for no apparent reason. To you and Steven, you were coming, hot ropes of your spend hitting your boyfriend in the face under the desk. You managed to keep yourself from saying anything too telling, and you kept your breathing level…as level as you could.
“Fuck I forgot to sign the agreement for the…the uhhh–”
“Oh! For the new display going into the Ancient Egypt section of course! I’ll go get that right now!” John chuckled, “glad you remembered that, I’ll be right back.”
As he walked out, you rolled back in your chair to see Steven’s pretty face covered in globs of your spend. He looked pissed off, crawling out from under the desk and grabbing a few tissues from your desk to clean himself off.
“Darling, what’s wrong? You’re the one who–”
“You…did this…all over my face!”
“Love, I couldn’t help it, you kept touchin’ me and–”
“And,” he held a finger up, “and you could’ve locked the door before havin’ me do that in the first place!”
“Steven, you could’ve locked the door yourself when you walked–”
“I wasn’t plannin’ to come in here and do somethin’ like that now was I?”
You could see the embarrassment in his flush cheeks. He seemed exasperated, chest rising and falling with every heavy breath. He wasn’t really mad at you, but you doubted you’d be getting another ‘under the desk’ blow job any time soon.
“Now your boss knows what we were doin’ and he’s gonna make you fire me and maybe he’ll even fire you and–”
“Stop…” you cupped his cheeks and kissed his forehead.
“No!” he pushed you off of him, “no, m’not gonna let you just kiss this one away. We could’ve been caught, you’re reckless and this isn’t like me at all! I don’t do things like this!” Steven stormed out of your office, passing John on his way out.
That was it…that was the argument.
You supposed that with Steven never having really been in a relationship before, an argument with his first ever significant other could be upsetting, despite it being such a silly thing to argue over. Taking that into consideration, you decided to tread lightly when you got home, toeing off your shoes in the entryway of his flat when you arrived almost silently. That’s when you noticed that Marc was there, not Steven.
“Hey,” he said, tipping back the beer in his hand and then holding it up, “want one?”
You shook your head, “no thanks.”
It was like Steven had a roommate. At least…that’s how it felt. Marc was the more stern one, like he was the polar opposite of Steven, but you didn’t mind. You liked the company regardless. Marc was a good guy, you could just tell. After a couple of minutes talking about the weather, the two of you managed to get into something more serious. 
“You said you’ve been to therapy? Mind if I ask what for?” Marc took another swig of his beer.
“Uh, PTSD, spent a few years in the British Armed Forces and then got myself honorably discharged after…” you sniffed out a laugh, “maybe I will take that drink after all.”
After a few drinks, you and Marc were trading war stories and with it, your tales of trauma. You wondered how long it was going to take him to open up to you about why and how Steven came to be, but there Marc was, letting down his always stoic demeanor in order to open himself up to you.
He cried, and you opened your arms to him.
“No, no I told you I’m not…that’s not my thing…”
You laughed, “s’not a ‘thing’ to hug someone when they’re sad, Marc. C’mere…”
You tugged his jacket and pulled his rigid frame into your arms, wrapping them around him tightly. At first he was stiff, still mumbling some protests, but then you felt him exhale, like his entire body were a balloon being emptied of the air inside of it. That’s when the heavier sobs came, tears spilling out of his eyes and onto your forearm.
“Steven is so good, and sometimes I think it would just be best if I don’t ever come out. Sometimes I think that the world would be a better place without me in it,” he said between heavy cries. He looked up at you, “Steven could be happy, and be with you all the time and–”
“Steven would miss you, Marc,” you looked into his eyes, seeing the pain he felt just made you want to hold him closer, but you knew that would only make it more awkward.
You didn’t have to worry about feeling awkward though, because he leaned up and slotted his lips over yours all on his own. You pulled back in surprise, wondering if he did that by mistake or not, or if Steven had decided to come back when you didn’ notice.
“S-Steven?” You asked, looking between his eyes rapidly.
He shook his head, “no, still me,” he said breathlessly, looking down at your mouth before pulling you in again.
You smiled against his lips, “how unexpected.”
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