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jaeyunverse · 9 months

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cat boy

pairing: yang jungwon x fem!reader

wc: 1882

genres: some fluff, mostly crack, enemies to lovers, neighbours au

warnings: profanity

summary: yang jungwon is pissed his cat likes you more than him. or, in which jungwon’s cat plays cupid and sets you up.

note: this is extremely unserious!!!! i only wrote it for funsies but i enjoyed the process a lot :) i hope the fic manages to bring a smile on your face hehe

masterlist

There was an angry-looking Yang Jungwon standing at your door.

You didn’t know why he was so pissed. You just knew you didn’t care.

“Your incessant knocking woke me up,” you replied dryly and leaned against the door frame, arms crossing over your chest. “You better have a good reason for ruining my sleep.”

“It’s five in the evening.”

“What’s your point?”

Jungwon’s jaw clenched, and the corner of your lip curled up a smirk. Provoking him was always so satisfying. Always so easy and entertaining.

It was crazy how he was the sweetest person with everyone else but the moment you opened your mouth, he glared at you and looked like he was plotting your death. The discrimination and harsh treatment you’d received from the boy upon moving into your apartment had hurt at first, but you’d soon learnt to take it with a grain of salt.

You’d learnt that it was way more fun to push his buttons and see just how far you needed to take things for him to reach his breaking point.

“Just shut the fuck up and listen to me,” Jungwon snapped, pointing an accusing finger at you. “I need you to stop playing with my cat. Do not touch her. Do not call her name. Do not do the weird fucking meowing thing you do where she meows back at you and you have those god awful meowing conversations. Do not—”

“Oh, yeah,” you interrupted and pretended to deeply think about something. “I think it was just yesterday that Cleo told me you were popping a vein over her liking me more than you. I must say, Yang, you have reached a level of pathetic I didn’t even know existed. Yelling at your neighbour because you don’t get validation from your cat? Tsk.”

Embarrassment and anger coloured the entirety of Jungwon’s face a deep red. “You don’t get it!” he exclaimed. “Cleo keeps clawing at the front door! She doesn’t even want to stay with me anymore. She stares at me with so much resentment because I don’t let her play with you all the time!”

“I’m confused,” you said, your eyebrows furrowing. “Why don’t you let her play with me if that’s why she hates you? Your problem has a very simple solution—”

“But she’s my cat!” he said, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He stepped closer to you, desperation evident on his features. “I don’t care if she plays with you, but the more she does, the more she realises that she’d rather have you take care of her.”

“Well,” you sputtered, a little taken aback by how much his cat’s preferences had distraught him. “If it’s any consolation to you, I don’t have the time or resources to look after Cleo, so she has no choice but to stay with you.”

“I don’t know how to make her love me again,” Jungwon mumbled to himself, not having heard you at all. “I know cats aren’t very loyal, but I didn’t think Cleo would dump me after everything we’ve gone through. I pay the landlord more money so she can keep staying with me without having to hide from anyone. I fought—”

“Yang!” you yelled and grabbed his shoulders. He snapped out of his reverie and looked at you in despair. You’d never thought you would feel bad for him, but you found yourself offering, “Do you want me to show you how I play with her? I don’t know why she prefers me over you, but maybe I’m doing something you aren’t. Maybe you’ll know what it is if we play with her together.”

Jungwon nodded eagerly. “Yeah, let’s go.”

“Now?” you asked incredulously. “I have to meet a friend for dinner.”

“Please,” he begged, and you didn’t think you’d ever heard him sound so hopeless before. “Just for ten minutes.”

You hesitated a bit for a moment, but then reluctantly agreed. “Ten minutes.”

Jungwon watched in awe as you interacted with Cleo. He couldn’t remember the last time he saw his ginger Ragamuffin so excited.

“Hey, Cleo,” you cooed, cupping her face in your hands. “How are you doing? How’s the most precious girl in the world doing?”

Cleo purred and leaned into your touch. Smiling, you caressed her cheeks and kissed her nose.

Gathering her in your arms, you stood up. The cat rested her head on your shoulder and closed her eyes.

“I really don’t see Cleo hating anyone,” you said to Jungwon, a small frown settling on your features. “I mean, look at her.”

He sighed and padded towards you, stopping only when he was right beside. His arm brushed against yours. “I don’t get it either.”

And then, as if to prove to you that he wasn’t lying about his cat having something against him, Jungwon lightly petted her.

Cleo’s eyes snapped open and her nails popped out. She pawed at him and he withdrew his hand immediately.

“Oh.”

“I don’t understand why she’s acting this way,” he lamented. “She was good to me until you came along!”

You scoffed in disbelief. “Are you seriously saying this is my fault? Did you even consider the possibility of you being a horrible owner?”

“You did not just say that!” Jungwon looked extremely offended, but you didn’t give a shit. You couldn’t believe he was blaming you for his problems.

“I don’t even need to say anything,” you sneered. “Cleo running away from you to me speaks volumes.”

You saw your neighbour’s jaw clench. His hands curled into fists at his side, and you wondered if you’d gone too far. You know he loved his cat; insinuating that he wasn’t taking good care of her probably hurt.

Besides, you knew it wasn’t true. Jungwon was a huge animal enthusiast. He’d looked after a turtle when he was five and had decided then and there that a career surrounded by animals was what he wanted. He was studying to be a veterinary doctor now.

Before you could open your mouth to apologise, he muttered, “I should have known this was a bad idea.”

Your blood boiled once again. “You really do have a knack for being the most ungrateful asshole anyone could ever come across, Yang.”

In your arms, Cleo meowed and lifted her head from your shoulder, staring daggers at her owner.

“Ungrateful?” Jungwon snorted in disbelief, not noticing the glares the Ragamuffin was sending his way. “You haven’t done anything since you came here! I don’t have shit to be grateful for.”

Cleo growled, and the boy finally acknowledged her anger.

You pointed a finger at Jungwon and fumed, “I take back what I said before. I do see Cleo hating you. You’re a little bitch who—”

“Oh, spare me.” He cut you off with a roll of his eyes, but you paid him no heed and continued,

“Maybe she’d like you better if you liked me better!”

The cat meowed again. The message was very clear. She agreed.

“I do like you...” Jungwon said defensively, but it was a pathetic attempt that convinced no one. Especially not Cleo.

“Yeah, sure.” You let out a humourless laugh. “You’ve obviously been a jerk to me from the very start because you think you’re the unapproachable, dark-haired, broody lead and I’m the sunshine who is supposed to make you open up.”

He gave you a sour look. “You’re not the sunshine.”

“And you’re not the main character you think you are. I’m not going to put up with your attitude anymore. Just stop being a dick and tell me what you have against me.”

Jungwon hesitated for a moment. You watched as he contemplated whether or not to tell you the real reason behind his grudge, and with each passing second, you slowly started to get a good idea of why.

You knew it was going to be something stupid.

He proved you right.

“I was trying to rent the apartment you’re living in. It has a better view and is way bigger. I live with a cat and you live alone—I thought it was unfair that the landlord chose someone who doesn’t even need the space.”

You were speechless for a while. You took your sweet time to wrap your head around the fact that Yang Jungwon was one petty son of a bitch.

“That’s it?” you finally asked. “You hate me because I snagged the apartment you wanted fair and square?”

He didn’t confirm. He didn’t need to.

You exclaimed, “Grow the hell up, Yang! So what if I got it? It’s been six months; move on!”

“You don’t need it as much as I do!” he protested.

“You don’t know that!” you said angrily. “You don’t know me! You never tried to.”

Jungwon opened his mouth to retort, but he didn’t really know what to say. He knew he was the one at fault. Maybe he should have apologised.

Too bad his stubbornness wouldn’t let him go down without a fight.

“It’s not like you ever tried to get to know me either,” Jungwon muttered.

“I brought you home-baked cookies the day I moved in. You said you didn’t want them and shut the door in my face. I invited you to my house-warming party too, but neither did you reply to my email nor show up. You really think I didn’t try to get to know you? To be friends with you?”

Your voice was laced with bitterness, but there were traces of genuine sorrow in it as well. The fire in your eyes from your bickering had winked out and you looked tired.

The boy found his resolve crumbling. Shame and guilt began to build claw at him from the inside. Maybe he had been unnecessarily harsh.

“I—uh..” Jungwon tried, “I’m sorry.”

You raised your eyebrows. “For being so rude to you, I mean, ” he added hastily. “You didn’t deserve it.”

The apology could have been way better but you weren’t going to complain. “Okay.”

Setting Cleo on the floor again, you moved towards the front door of his apartment. “I’ll get going.”

However, before you could turn the knob, Jungwon blurted, “Are—are you free now? Maybe we can hang out and get to know each other?”

“Oh.” You were dumbfounded. Out of all the things you expected him to say, this was not it. “I have to meet a friend tonight. I told you.”

Embarrassment tinted his ears a deep red. “Right,” he squeaked after clearing his throat. “Forget I asked.”

“Well—” you started after a beat of awkward silence— “I won’t be out for that long. Do you wanna come over to watch a movie later?”

“I have to get up early tomorrow.”

You decided that this was clearly not working out—but it wasn’t that bad. So what if Jungwon and you couldn’t hang out? You were on good terms now. That was an immense improvement in your relationship already.

Your neighbour, however, didn’t seem to be in the mood to cut his losses and move on. He tried again, “The weekend?”

You paused. Racked your brain to make sure you didn’t have any other commitments. “The weekend.”

“It’s a date.”

Strangely, you didn’t correct Jungwon. He didn’t take his words back either.

Cleo’s tail swayed in silent approval.

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imviotrash · 6 days

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🗡️Edward Midford and Autism coding 🗡️

During my Hiatus from the Kuroshitsuji fandom, I got diagnosed with autism. It took me some time to come to terms with that and to figure myself out.

I returned to the Kuro fandom last summer, due to (what I now come to recognize as) my longtime special Interest finally getting an anime adaptation and upon rereading some of my favourite arcs, I came to the realisation that I see a lot of my (and my peers) autistic traits in Edward. What's interesting about this character is that he has a lot of autistic traits, that are not really touched upon in media. So lets get into it!

The gentleman extreme (and how everything is taken a bit too literal/seriously):

In his introduction in chapter 52 he is shown to uphold the same beliefs as his mother, scolding his sister for behaving in an unbecoming manner. He's shown to be very close to his family and strictly upholds their values of protection. At first one may assume he is just like his mother, but it is quickly revealed that he is far more ridiculous. His upholding of his gentleman status is often paired with anger, such as in chapter 58, where he scolds other men for not letting women and children go on the lifeboats first (king behaviour) and also being the one to later recommend to look for more survivors. He has a strong code of ethics and upholds it, even if it is seen as ridiculous or even dangerous.

When it comes to clothing, he also upholds strict values and instantly gets flustered and afraid when that standard is not upheld, to the point where he needs physical distance and shields his eyes.

From these tidbits already we can observe that he is ridiculously formal, upholding the social decorum to the very extreme. While autistic individuals are known for their non-conformity, they are also known to accidentally not conform by confirming too much and following instructions to every detail. I fall into both extremes, but I definitely stick to the latter when it comes to social interactions.

I think Edward definitely falls into that category, because he represents how ridiculous the Victorian code of ethics and etiquette can be if upheld at all times. I may dabble into headcannon territory again, but I strongly believe that knighthood and the chivalry connected to it is something like a special interest for him, which contributes to the way he acts.

Aggression and volume:

In his introduction he yells at his future brother in law. A complete overreaction and incredibly ironic considering his previous scolding regarding etiquette. This happens multiple times, especially when confronted with Ciel his gentlemanly behaviour suddenly turns into childish banter. He is usually soft spoken but can be louder if he is simply commanded to do so.

Volume control is something a lot of autistic people struggle with. For me it's especially when talking about special interests or talking to a person who interrupts me A LOT. I am quiet and do not speak often, so when I do I must make the most of it.

Based on cannon evidence, I believe that Edward may struggle with this too. He's loud to get his point across, because he believes that loudness will make others listen to him.

Spiky hair, in this economy?

So we all know Frances and her strict rules regarding men's hair, right? Everything has to be slicked back and she thinks Sebastians hair is atrocious (so do I). So why is it that her son is the only one allowed to run around with this type of hairstyle? Alexis has very nicely brushed back hair, Elizabeths is also nicely done. Isn't it strange that she makes an exception for ONE family member?

So here is where I dabble into headcannons, because I think the exception was made because he has sensory issues regarding his hair. He doesn't like it slicked back in any way and feels uncomfortable with any product in his hair.

Once again, heavily falling into headcannons, so take this one with a grain of salt.

Elizabeth and her influence:

Edward is incredibly attached to her sister. Mainly being protective of her and not trusting other men (especially his brother in law) to treat her with the respect she deserves. He knows and appreciates her skill and knows she's incredibly capable. So...why is he so attached?

Elizabeth is an important catalyst for his behaviour, because it shows the extremes of his gentleman code. His good manners instantly turn into ridiculous aggression as soon as he sees something that he views as a threat to her. Despite his behaviour towards Ciel, he does care about him, because he realises how important he is to his sister. Elizabeth is a person of comfort for Edward. He admires her talent and sees her as a valuable family member who has been through a lot of hurt.

Autistic individuals often have trouble with boundaries and attach themselves onto others quickly, which leads to them unintentionally treating them incorrectly. This is definitely the case here, since he gives little (social) agency to Elizabeth for the sake of her protection. He genuinely cares about her but is unable to set healthy boundaries, because his way of emphaphy differs from the social norm.

Masking and copying behaviour:

What is interesting about Edward is how he copies the behaviour of others. He has a role model and copies their behaviour because he desires to master it. So why does he do that?

My answer is masking. Edward genuinely admires these people, but is unsure of how to adapt their skills in his own way, so he copies them. This is something we can often see in masking. Behaviour that is seen as acceptable by society is often copied by autistic individuals to blend into society. I think for Edward it's a combination of masking and admiration. His strong upholding of the Gentleman code also fits well into this category.

Beyond that, the Blue cult arc also proves that he able to severely alter the way he behaves, if needed. Does he feel comfortable with that? Absolutely not. But he does have the great ability to do so if instructed, which proves to yet be another factor for him masking his behaviour.

Mediocrity in a Neurotypical society:

So Edward had this nice monologue about him being mediocre compared to his prodigy sister and I think it is exactly this scene, which makes me headcannon him as autistic. Because this is the exact trait I do not see often.

In media, many autistic individuals are represented as prodigies and amazingly intelligent and I can't help but hate that stereotype, because it puts unrealistic expectations on disabled individuals. I have prodigy friends who are autistic and I truly admire them, but I need people to understand that autism is a disability and not just "socially incompetent person who is going to revolutionise the world". As soon as one's interest is not deemed useful by society (which mainly includes "feminine" interests), they are not validated. Autism is only accepted by society if it proves to be impressive or useful. It is not seen as a disability, but as something to exploit.

I like Edwards monologue, because I relate and it rounds out his character really well. He accepts that he is not a prodigy, that he sucks in many regards, but that he still looks up to those who fit into the standard. His monologue is something that I've truly taken into heart, because you do not need to be a prodigy to be valid, you should not need to be extraordinary to be accepted as you are. You are allowed to be mediocre. You are allowed to treat your disability as a disability, because that's what it is.

Lastly:

Please remember that most of this is based on my personal expenses with autism. It is an incredibly diverse neuro divergency and manifests itself differently in all sorts of ways. Many of these traits may not apply to you or to anyone you know. This is just a personal observation based on my own and my companions experiences.

#kuroshitsuji #black butler #vio speaks #edward midford #kuroshitsuji season 4

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greensaplinggrace · 1 year

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baghra’s wrong because aleksander’s problem was never a lack of empathy or compassion (rather, he had too much of it), but instead that she taught him how to react to such emotions with violence and ruthlessness. his problem was never a lack of loving others, it was how she taught him how to love and it was how she taught him what loving was. and aleksander's problem was never entirely because of her presence and her teachings in his life, but instead because of her lack of presence and her lack of support towards his suffering and the suffering of others - it was all of the ways she attempted to teach him to view the world as unsaveable when everything within him screamed that that was wrong.

baghra will always be wrong about aleksander because there was never a time they were fundamentally united in their beliefs. aleksander has always been an idealist. he has always been too empathetic. he sympathized with those who hurt him too much. baghra has always championed inaction in the face of persecution. she held a mild sympathy for those who hurt her son, but it was all practical - an acceptance of the world where aleksander saw something that needed to change.

where baghra looked inward aleksander looked outward. and she could never have predicted his reaction to her statement about the grisha who hurt him because she doesn’t feel the way he does about the world - she can literally never understand it. they will always be fundamentally at odds because of this. and because of this everything baghra says about her son must be taken with a grain of salt.

she assumes he is too much like her. that he is selfish. that his only motivation is a lust for power and everything else is secondary. that his corruption lies only in his search for power and so he can be redeemed if he simply turns away from it. she assumes it is his pride and his hubris, his arrogance and his fear for himself. and because of this she will never realize that he is unredeemable because his lust for power doesn’t come from just that. that she cannot reach him about his redemption not because he is so corrupt and prideful that he cannot see his path is wrong, but because his drive to give his people freedom has led him to forsake everything else.

turning away from power will not solve the problem of aleksander's 'corruption'. it will not give him peace. it will not make him better. because all power he has sought for his people. all pride he has fought tooth and nail to maintain in the face of his persecutors. all fear is a fear not only for himself but for grisha as well.

all the pain in the world makes him worse and day by day his agony increases tenfold because day by day grisha continue to suffer and so day by day he seeks more power and he seeks more and more and more for a future where he doesn't have to live in fear anymore and where he can look at his people and know they are safe. and no carving the power out of him is going to help. no making him realize he is too corrupt and greedy is going to help.

because baghra will never be able to address the root of the problem because it is something she so fundamentally cannot understand about him. she is only treating surface wounds. just like alina killing aleksander and destroying the fold is only treating the surface wounds of the world. because in the end what motivated aleksander in the depths of his soul is the same unending, aching wound that stretches across the land. and baghra and alina are similarly blind in that they will never be able see it as something that needs to heal in order to truly begin to set things right. all the harm aleksander committed is only a symptom of the problem. aleksander is only a symptom of a problem that never gets resolved.

#this is ramblings as always but UGH #baghra is so INCREDIBLY blind when it comes to what motivates her son #and so are all of the heroes #probably because baghra is their only source of information about him #shadow and bone #sab #grishaverse #aleksander morozova #the darkling #baghra morozova #alina starkov #myramblings #sab meta

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hollowed-theory-hall · 3 months

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The Riddle of Tom Riddle: Part 3/7

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7)

Wool's Orphanage

This is actually one of my favorite theories I ever made. The full psychoanalysis of Voldemort's character took some time to figure out, but I think I cracked it. I know why Tom did everything he did.

As it's a little long, I've broken it down into multiple posts. And I think there are gonna be 4 more besides this one. So, let's go make sense of Voldemort and prove he is reasonable, he just has some unexpected goals.

I want to preface all of this (and future posts) that the point isn't to excuse Voldemort and his various atrocities. But it bothers me when I don't understand why characters do the things they do. This is about understanding Tom Riddle and Voldemort.

Without farther adu:

So, we'll start our analysis from the beginning. Voldemort, or, more correctly — Tom Marvolo Riddle was born on December 31st, 1926, in a rundown orphanage in London:

“And Merope? She . . . she died, didn’t she? Wasn’t Voldemort brought up in an orphanage?” “Yes, indeed,” said Dumbledore. “We must do a certain amount of guessing here, although I do not think it is difficult to deduce what happened. You see, within a few months of their runaway marriage, Tom Riddle reappeared at the manor house in Little Hangleton without his wife. The rumor flew around the neighborhood that he was talking of being ‘hoodwinked’ and ‘taken in.’ What he meant, I am sure, is that he had been under an enchantment that had now lifted, though I daresay he did not dare use those precise words for fear of being thought insane. When they heard what he was saying, however, the villagers guessed that Merope had lied to Tom Riddle, pretending that she was going to have his baby, and that he had married her for this reason.” “But she did have his baby.” “But not until a year after they were married. Tom Riddle left her while she was still pregnant.”

(Half-Blood Prince, page, 214)

So, one important little disclaimer:

A lot of the information we have about Tom comes from Dumbledore's guesswork. As Dumbledore has an agenda in all his "lessons" with Harry and that I have a whole series of posts dedicated to my strong feelings regarding Dumbledore's machinations, we need to approach everything he says with a grain of salt.

This part is pretty true though. Merope does enchant or dose Tom Riddle Sr with a love potion or some other spell and gets pregnant. We also know that for some reason, she stopped with the enchantments/potions at some point and wound up alone in London, with no family, no money, and on death's door.

“I was wondering whether you could tell me anything of Tom Riddle’s history? I think he was born here in the orphanage?” “That’s right,” said Mrs. Cole, helping herself to more gin. “I remember it clear as anything, because I’d just started here myself. New Year’s Eve and bitter cold, snowing, you know. Nasty night. And this girl, not much older than I was myself at the time, came staggering up the front steps. Well, she wasn’t the first. We took her in, and she had the baby within the hour. And she was dead in another hour.”

(Half-Blood Prince, page 266)

This is from Dumbledore's memory, but it seems factual enough. Dumbledore also has no reason to lie about this.

So, Tom was raised all his childhood in a London orphanage in the late 1920s and 1930s. These orphanages were dreary, lonely places:

The children are fed and clothed but there is a dreary uniformity to the picture, emphasised by the black and white image. Boys eat in regimental lines, seated on hard benches, and those waiting to sit down are also assembled in a strict line. The attendants you can glimpse are dressed in black and white uniforms, a stark echo of the grey and black of the boys’ clothes. A few pictures adorn the walls – one looks as though it’s about to fall to the ground – but there are no curtains, no floor covering, no comfort.

(Source)

This was not a pleasant place to be raised in. And considering Mrs. Cole's words: "Well, she wasn’t the first", the orphanage was probably crowded. This was after World War One, and Britain and Europe as a whole were still licking their wounds. Poverty is high, food is low, and the inflation rate is insane.

And this is the world Tom grows up in. A dreary, lonely existence, where if he didn't fight for his food, he probably didn't get left any.

And when the Second World War started in 1939 (his second year at Hogwarts), things just got worse, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Then she said, “He’s a funny boy.” “Yes,” said Dumbledore. “I thought he might be.” “He was a funny baby too. He hardly ever cried, you know. And then, when he got a little older, he was . . . odd.”

...

because she said in a sudden rush, “He scares the other children.” “You mean he is a bully?” asked Dumbledore. “I think he must be,” said Mrs. Cole, frowning slightly, “but it’s very hard to catch him at it. There have been incidents. . . . Nasty things . . .” Dumbledore did not press her, though Harry could tell that he was interested. She took yet another gulp of gin and her rosy cheeks grew rosier still. “Billy Stubbs’s rabbit . . . well, Tom said he didn’t do it and I don’t see how he could have done, but even so, it didn’t hang itself from the rafters, did it?” “I shouldn’t think so, no,” said Dumbledore quietly. “But I’m jiggered if I know how he got up there to do it. All I know is he and Billy had argued the day before. And then” — Mrs. Cole took another swig of gin, slopping a little over her chin this time — “on the summer outing — we take them out, you know, once a year, to the countryside or to the seaside — well, Amy Benson and Dennis Bishop were never quite right afterwards, and all we ever got out of them was that they’d gone into a cave with Tom Riddle. He swore they’d just gone exploring, but something happened in there, I’m sure of it. And, well, there have been a lot of things, funny things. . . .”

(Half-Blood Prince, pages 267-268)

We learn some interesting things here, quite a few of them actually. That Tom doesn't have any friends. That the other orphans and the caretakers in the orphanage all think he's weird. They thought he was odd since he was a baby... and this is starting to get familiar. there's a reason Tom mentioned he and Hary are similar:

Because there are strange likenesses between us, Harry Potter. Even you must have noticed. Both half-bloods, orphans, raised by Muggles. Probably the only two Parselmouths to come to Hogwarts since the great Slytherin himself. We even look something alike. . . .

(Chamber of Secrets, page 292)

Because they are.

From Mrs. Cole's words, it seems Tom wasn't liked by the kids and staff and he fought back in the only way he could. His magic. It isn't that much different than Harry's apparating away from Dudley's gang or setting the boa constrictor on his cousin. The situations are awfully similar.

“How do you do, Tom?” said Dumbledore, walking forward and holding out his hand. The boy hesitated, then took it, and they shook hands. Dumbledore drew up the hard wooden chair beside Riddle, so that the pair of them looked rather like a hospital patient and visitor. “I am Professor Dumbledore.” “ ‘Professor’?” repeated Riddle. He looked wary. “Is that like ‘doctor’? What are you here for? Did she get you in to have a look at me?” He was pointing at the door through which Mrs. Cole had just left. “No, no,” said Dumbledore, smiling. “I don’t believe you,” said Riddle. “She wants me looked at, doesn’t she? Tell the truth!” He spoke the last three words with a ringing force that was almost shocking. It was a command, and it sounded as though he had given it many times before. His eyes had widened and he was glaring at Dumbledore, who made no response except to continue smiling pleasantly. After a few seconds Riddle stopped glaring, though he looked, if anything, warier still. “Who are you?” “I have told you. My name is Professor Dumbledore and I work at a school called Hogwarts. I have come to offer you a place at my school — your new school, if you would like to come.” Riddle’s reaction to this was most surprising. He leapt from the bed and backed away from Dumbledore, looking furious. “You can’t kid me! The asylum, that’s where you’re from, isn’t it? ‘Professor,’ yes, of course — well, I’m not going, see? That old cat’s the one who should be in the asylum. I never did anything to little Amy Benson or Dennis Bishop, and you can ask them, they’ll tell you!” “I am not from the asylum,” said Dumbledore patiently. “I am a teacher and, if you will sit down calmly, I shall tell you about Hogwarts. Of course, if you would rather not come to the school, nobody will force you —” “I’d like to see them try,” sneered Riddle.

(Half-Blood Prince, pages 269-270)

Now, I marked a few sections in this scene because there are some interesting things to talk about when it comes to Tom's psychology.

First, I'd like to talk about Tom's assumptions here. The first thing Tom assumes the moment Dumbledore introduces himself as a "professor" is that he is here to take a look at Tom — to take him away to the Asylum. Considering how quickly Tom came to that conclusion one has to assume it's something he heard before.

It means the people around him, probably both the caretakers at the orphanage and the other children repeatedly told him he was insane and would be better off at the Asylum. He spent his childhood being told he belonged in a madhouse.

I don't think I need to explain what kind of damage that does to a child. Tom grows up completely isolated from his peers and caretakers, everyone hates him because he is different. So Tom latched on to the idea that he was better. Because if he was different, and he was, and he wasn't better, it meant he was worse than them — it meant they were right about him. Tom thinking overly highly of himself is a coping mechanism and a lie (to himself most of all).

The thing is, while he is aware he is smart and capable, we'll see later in his life how he continuously seeks out validation and connection since he didn't get either until he was eleven. And like any child, he wants these things, he wants praise, attention, and connection. Telling himself he is better, and therefore above such needs, is a way to try and convince himself everything is fine.

The second thing from the above quote is his trust issues. Dumbledore tries to tell him he isn't taking him to the Asylum and Tom doesn't believe him. He immediately goes on the defensive.

As of Mrs. Cole's previous words, it's clear she blames Tom for things she has no evidence he did. And if we look at Harry's cases of accidental magic that harmed Dudley, a lot of them were out of his control. It's possible Tom wasn't completely intentional in everything he did, but took credit anyway if it meant the other kids left him alone and didn't bother him.

"|'d like to see them try," Tom said, he is already using fear. That is just as much a coping mechanism as his trust issues and air of superiority. When kids fear you, they don't bother you. If Amy and Dannis feared him they'd stop calling him a nut-case — If they feared him, they wouldn't bother him.

And Tom is used to his magic allowing him to get his way, forcing people to tell him the truth in an accidental version of the Imperious. It's important to remember he is a young child on the defensive. He has been on the defensive probably since he could comprehend language. As such, I'm not surprised to see him use his magic to make people treat him better — or at the bare minimum, not lie to him.

All I see from the above interaction is a scared, lonely child who never had anyone so he's on the defensive. He guards his heart and interests with all the weapons he has at his disposal because he has no one else who will. This is a child that needs help.

“Magic?” he repeated in a whisper. “That’s right,” said Dumbledore. “It’s . . . it’s magic, what I can do?” “What is it that you can do?” “All sorts,” breathed Riddle. A flush of excitement was rising up his neck into his hollow cheeks; he looked fevered. “I can make things move without touching them. I can make animals do what I want them to do, without training them. I can make bad things happen to people who annoy me. I can make them hurt if I want to.” His legs were trembling. He stumbled forward and sat down on the bed again, staring at his hands, his head bowed as though in prayer. “I knew I was different,” he whispered to his own quivering fingers. “I knew I was special. Always, I knew there was something.”

(Half-Blood Prince, page 271)

What we see here is actually really cute. Okay.

So, Tom Riddle, lonely and mistreated finally gets the confirmation that yes, he is special, not insane, he is better like he always tried to convince himself he was. So he immediately gets excited and starts gushing — boasting — about all the magic he can do. He's flushed and fevered and happy.

He is so excited to share this with someone else, to have someone like him, who understands him. He was elated at Dumbledore's existence at that moment.

This is a lonely 11-year-old child who never had a friend or kind caregiver in his life, trying to connect to the first adult to not call him insane. The first adult to tell him he was special, that he wasn't wrong.

And then Dumbledore speaks down to him and pretends to set all his (very few) belongings on fire.

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows. “If, as I take it, you are accepting your place at Hogwarts —” “Of course I am!” “Then you will address me as ‘Professor’ or ‘sir.’ ” Riddle’s expression hardened for the most fleeting moment before he said, in an unrecognizably polite voice, “I’m sorry, sir. I meant — please, Professor, could you show me — ?”

(Half-Blood Prince, pages 271-272)

This is the moment Dumbledore made his greatest mistake when it came to Tom Riddle. Instead of trying to direct him and help him like an educator, he showed his dislike for Tom. He thought Tom to close up his heart, that even among wizards he would not find this connection he seeks.

So Tom hardens his expression and goes to the cold, polite, distant mask we'll see him wear for the rest of his Hogwarts years.

#harry potter #harry potter thoughts #harry potter theory #hollowedtheory #hp theory #wizarding world #overthinking #lord voldemort #voldemort #tom riddle #tom marvolo riddle #voldemort analysis #hogwarts #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #wools orphanage #albus dumbledore #hp #hp thoughts

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cardboardheartss · 4 months

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Jude Bellingham Mini Personality Reading

⚠️DISCLAIMER! TAROT CARDS ARE NOT 100% ACCURATE! TAKE EVERYTHING WITH A GRAIN OF SALT! IF MY INTERPRETATIONS ARE INCORRECT FEEL FREE TO CORRECT ME!⚠️

QoW, PoP, 20S, 7oS, The Empress rx, Strength rv & Sun rv

Okay... so for Jude he's a really sensitive person! (CANCER STELLIUM. Andd he has a gentle and warm personality, he may possibly also believe in spirituality but specifically on the workings of the Universe. He is a very social person, which also gives him the upper hand to forge connections with people and he has a lot of friends.

Jude is a daydreamer, he daydreams a lot and he is a really open minded person who is able to see all different perspectives at once. As I said he does believe in the workings of the universe he MAY accept failures, but he will NOT forget about the loss at all!

Apart from him constantly remembering his failures, he pushes really hard to improve from the last time and make himself, his team, his fans and family members proud.

Jude is also a bit too trusting at times, he needs to learn how to keep people around him at arms length because, humans in this world are genuinely weird asf. He may be strong mentally to a certain extent, but he must still learn how to avoid being taken advantage of!

Well... since Jude is literally so attractive, and he's aware that he can literally bag any woman he wants lol ANDD he LOVES keeping his roster full lol! Jude is also very overprotective over those he loves, and more specifically his future girlfriend/wife (Jude is a literal walking cancer!) andd he may be a bit egoistic but he knows how to not let it get to his head because of his mature personality! Unfortunately Jude is also easily prone to having mental health issues and fluctuations of emotions.

Thank you for reading 📦

#tarot #tarot reading #black tarot readers #celeb tarot #tarotcommunity #jude bellingham #bellingham latest #jobe bellingham #soccer #tarot master list #real madrid #soccertarot

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iridescentpull · 13 days

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Day two of Hideduo/FitPac Kiss Week – Kiss on the Forehead & Murder Mystery AU

[ ao3 link here ] [ fic below cut! ]

Fit’s never been this interested by someone before.

This detective– Pac, as he introduced himself all those weeks ago at Spreen’s funeral– is very intriguing. While all the other detectives who visited him after the ‘mysterious’ death of his late husband jumped straight into the investigation and questioning process, detective Pac seems to be going much slower, taking in the situation and his surroundings.

He asks about his thoughts and feelings on the events that had occurred and how he’s coping. He’s gentle with Ramón when it’s time to question the child and doesn’t get annoyed or snappy with the little boy when his answers are a bit incoherent. He doesn’t jump to any conclusions and takes everything said with a grain of salt, considering it from every perspective and not just assuming the truth.

It’s... a very nice change of pace, to be completely honest. One Fit is absolutely taking advantage of, considering the circumstances.

Plus, the detective is very, very, attractive. Long, black hair pulled back. Dark eyes that seemed to shine with the light. A lean yet muscley body. His suits were always tailored perfectly and he always smelled like roses. The bonus was how flustered he got every time he saw the dresses Fit wore, stuttering and trying to advert his eyes the moment his eyes landed on him.

Fit smiles lazily, spinning the wine inside his glass with a small twirl of his wrist, letting the alcohol slosh against the edges of the glass as he leans back against the plush, leather sofa. The dress he’s wearing today is a deep, dark red. The same shade as the wine in his glass and the blood that was spilled (not that anyone needs to know that part, though).

And, while his current attire is quite revealing, it’s modest compared to the last few times the detective had visited. The neckline was still low and showed off a generous amount of his chest, but the skirt was much longer and went down past his knees, a slit coming up the side to his thigh. He’s not even wearing heels today, and the stockings he’s wearing only come up to his thighs.

“So.” Fit speaks, voice silky smooth as usual. “You’re saying someone must have not disposed of the body? That my husband’s body might still be here?”

Pac’s face flushes and his eyes dart away, trying to avoid looking at Fit. His fingers drum against the notebook in his lap, filled with his messy scribbles of the conversation and notes. His own glass of wine sits next to him, empty.

“I– I wouldn’t say ‘still here’.” Pac stutters, fidgeting with one of his finger’s of his gloved hand. “The body may have been disposed of, just not properly. If someone didn’t do the job right, then the body would be somewhere around here.”

Fit hums, raising an eyebrow as he crosses his legs, the fabric of the dress bunching up around his thighs. He takes a long sip of his wine, making sure the detective is looking as he licks his lipstick-covered lips. “That’s quite a theory.” He says.

The other male nods. “Well, yeah, but it’s the only one that makes sense. There’s a record of a missing body, but there’s no way the body could have been taken out of the neighborhood without anyone noticing.” He speaks, frowning as he thinks. “The police have been strict in this area thanks to the murders that have happened recently, as you know, so if the body were taken out, then they would have noticed and caught whoever was trying to take it.”

“Yes, the police have been quite diligent since all these murders have been occurring.” He says, putting his glass out and leaning forward. “More wine, detective?”

Pac glances at the glass and bites his lip, thinking. After a moment, he sighs and holds his glass out. “If you don’t mind, thank you.”

The American takes the bottle of wine and pours the other man some, smiling at him as he sits back and takes another sip. Pac gives him a grateful nod and takes a sip as well, savoring the taste of the drink. They keep talking and drinking as the night progresses, the atmosphere getting more relaxed.

After a few glasses of wine, Pac is a little tipsy, yet he finally is comfortable enough to have a real conversation. The detective is leaning against the armrest, head propped up by his hand. Fit’s sitting a bit more comfortable now, having taken off his shoes and is resting his feet in the detective’s lap, who doesn’t seem to mind.

“You know, Fit, you’ve really got me thinking.” Pac says, frowning a little as he thinks.

Fit stares at the expression, entranced. “Really?” He purrs, reaching out and brushing his fingers against the other’s stubbled jaw. Pac stiffens a bit but doesn’t pull away, looking down at the hand before glancing back up at the others face with an eager look in his eyes. “What’s got you so deep in thought, detective?”

The detective hesitates a moment before replying. “You, actually.”

The widow smiles, pleased. “Is that so? What about me is on your mind?” He asks, running his fingers up to the detective’s hair, twirling a few strands.

“You– you’re just very mysterious.” Pac replies, licking his lips as he shifts. “I know next to nothing about you, past the basics and what is needed for the case. Even though I’ve come over every other day, I feel like I barely know you.”

The American tilts his head, eyes glittering. “Oh? Would you like to know more about me, detective?”

Pac blinks before his face flushes again, his cheeks a pretty pink. “Well– I, I mean, yeah. That’d be nice.” He stutters out, eyes widening as Fit leans even closer.

“I could tell you everything about me.” Fit whispers, breath fanning across Pac’s lips. “But, I’m afraid you might not like what you’ll find, Pac.”

The Brazilian frowns, confused. “Why would I not–” He cuts himself once he realizes how close their lips are, Fit’s body hovering above his own. He feels his heart start to race, the beat quickening the longer he stays silent.

Fit’s about to press a kiss against the other’s lips when Pac moves his head down at the last second, causing the other to press a kiss against his forehead. Pac’s eyes are wide and his breathing is heavy, chest heaving up and down as he tries to process what just happened. He doesn’t seem to be the only one, for Fit has a stunned look on his face.

“Pac...?” Fit asks, a little uncertain.

The detective looks up and stares at the other, conflict in his face. “No, sorry, I– it's not you.” He says, pushing the other away gently and standing. “I just– not like this, at least.”

He stands up, stumbling a little, and starts towards the door, only to be stopped by Fit grabbing his arm. He turns around, surprised, and watches as Fit pulls him down, their faces a few inches apart. “I– I should go, Fit.” Pac stutters, averting his eyes. “I’ve stayed here for too long.” He says, pulling away.

Fit lets him go this time, and Pac takes the chance to leave. He walks out the door and down the hall, only turning around when he gets to the staircase. Pac stops, staring at the figure of Fit standing in the doorway, before taking a deep breath and hurrying down the stairs.

As the detective leaves, Fit holds his chin, a curious look on his face. Oh, he’s very intrigued now. Pac was pulling away but his eyes told a completely different story. Eagerness, conflict, desire… Fit smirks, chuckling to himself as he closes the door.

“What have you found, my dear detective.” He tells himself. “What have you found…”

#qsmp #fitpac #pactw #fitmc #hideduokisswk #aynee writes #murder mystery au

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jewish-sideblog · 1 month

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i have a question. i don’t mean this horribly!! but per this post you reblogged: https://www.tumblr.com/jewish-sideblog/744967243590434816, you believe to call what’s going on in palestine a genocide is antisemitic. can you elaborate on that, please?

I don't want to get in the habit of addressing things other people have said in posts I reblog, because those aren't my words and a reblog isn't a blanket endorsement of everything other people have said. But this topic is really important, so I'll weigh in just this once.

The primary concern I have with the use of the term genocide is Holocaust Inversion. Most people don't have a conception of genocide outside of the holocaust, so the usage of the word genocide is often an obvious ploy to weaponize Jewish suffering against Jewish people. Its sole purpose is to equate Israelis to Nazis and Jewish government to fascism.

Yet, there is a lot of death in Gaza right now. Horrible death, needless death. I think any erasure of that is as horrible as Oct. 7th denial. To outright deny that a genocide is happening exclusively because of the historical reality of the Holocaust isn't just or beneficial. So we have to look at it objectively. As I said earlier today, I'm not an international relations expert, so the following is my understanding and should be taken with large grains of salt.

"Genocide" as a war crime is extremely similar to murder as an individual crime. The key component (besides death) is intention. If you kill someone on accident in most English-speaking countries, you'll likely be charged with manslaughter, not murder. Similarly, genocide requires the intentional destruction of a population of people, well beyond the necessary realities of civilian casualty in active war zones. Death itself, even in large numbers, does not a genocide make. Civilians will always die on the battlefield. Always.

The International Criminal Court says that Israel has to meet standards of care in Gaza to ensure that genocide does not occur, meaning they don't think one has already occurred. There's some dispute on whether or not those standards are being met-- Human Rights Watch and Amnesty International say that Israel is failing to allow humanitarian aid into Gaza, while the Israeli government issued sealed documents to the Hague last month detailing their compliance measures. It'll take a while to hear back on those. Personally, I think starving Gaza is an obvious measure of intention to destroy Palestinian civilians.

Anybody is obviously welcome to disagree with the highest court of international law in the world. But the fact that the experts seem hesitant to make that determination gives me pause. Why are so many people keen to bring Israel to the Hague, not Russia for their indiscriminate killing of Ukrainians or the Houthis for manufacturing a humanitarian crisis in Yemen? Hamas, one of the governments of internationally-recognized Palestine, fully admits to intending to destroy the Jewish people in part. They say they'll do it again if they get half the chance. Why is only the Jewish state called out as a unique, genocidal evil? Must we label Palestinian deaths as a genocide in order to mourn them effectively? Aren't hundreds dead a day reason enough to mourn and to push for peace?

Again, I don't want to deny the allegations of genocide any more than I want to accept them. I'm following the experts on this one. And so far, the experts say "maybe". As long as they say "maybe", anybody who insists on definitely and absolutely labelling it as a genocide creeps at least suspiciously close to Holocaust Inversion in my eyes.

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arteastica · 9 months

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early in the morning, especially when it rains, and a little before noon. (7)

erwin x fem!reader

chapters: (1) | (2) | (3) | (4) | (5) | (6) | (8) | (9) | (10) | (11) | (12) | (13) | (14) | (15) | (16) | (17) | (18) | (19) | (20) | (21) | (22) | (23) | (24) | (25) | (26) | (27)

summary: I basically took Isayama’s work, forced it into a romance story, and made Erwin the love interest. Commander meets cadet and they fall in love (not instantly though)

notes: very berry canonverse (but some events were modified to fit my narrative), wasn’t intended to be this long, but it all is in the details right?

content warnings: smut where it fits (or where I make it fit. Also, reader is NOT underage, so likewise, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, please.) slow burn (I really mean it. I’m not olympic diving into any form of smut for the first chapters.) no angst. I dislike angst. I would never. I could never. (Although angst can be somewhat subjective so take it with a grain of salt?)

wc: 2.8k

You weren’t exactly sure why, but the sight of someone analyzing financial records in the middle of a late-summer afternoon was, all of a sudden, so interesting to you. Long, experienced fingers tapping on the desk, rolled-up sleeves revealing a pair of well-muscled forearms that were generously sprinkled with light brown hair, tense neck muscles occasionally drawing a circle in the air, and jungle-dense eyebrows temporarily locked in a slight frown. He had been sitting there since noon, hadn’t even paused for lunch. It seemed like he didn’t have eyes for anything or anyone else but that paper in front of him. And that annoyed you a little.

So much could have been said about his superhuman ability to focus or his equally remarkable jawline, but he looked up to stretch his neck and saw you. And you figured it was already too late to start pretending you had been busy with something other than staring, even though your ears felt impossibly hot and suggested otherwise. If he thought it was weird that his assistant had been creepily staring at him while he worked, he must have been too polite to tell you, because instead, he smiled softly.

“I will be done soon. Then we can go over the winter budget, as well as anything else you might need for the coming days.”

“When will you be back?” You really wanted to know, but as soon as the question left your mouth, you wished you had sounded more like an assistant and less like a wife.

“I should be back by Monday. Sorry to leave you alone with all of this.” He looked at the papers on his desk.

It’s not like you were taking his place, you were just going to keep his paperwork from piling up and make sure a demoralizing list of unfinished tasks wouldn’t be waiting for him when he returned. You didn’t know what he was off to, though, just that he would be going to Sina, and that he was taking Armin, Mikasa, and a few other soldiers with him. Given that those two were on the list, you wondered if this sudden excursion to the capital had something to do with Eren. Most likely. More like you wanted to think so. Because that, at least, would provide some much needed context.

In all honesty, you were a little hurt he hadn’t taken you with him, and that he was taking some of your former classmates instead. You had gotten so used to being on the receiving end of his polite requests and recurrent demands, that it was a little hard to accept the fact that he would be just fine without you. You had forgotten that, in fact, he had been just fine without you for the vast majority of his time as commander.

But on the other hand, a small part of you was actually grateful that he was leaving. Distance sounded like something that both you and your busy head could benefit from. It just felt like it would.

“It’s fine. When you come back, you’ll find everything exactly as you left it.” You smiled back, trying to reassure both him and yourself that you could handle his absence.

The moon had long claimed her spot in the sky when you were finally able to slip under the covers. One good thing about living in a big castle was that everyone got their own room. There weren’t many scouts to begin with, barely three hundred if you weren’t mistaken, and a lot of them weren’t even positioned in the headquarters. And it was after stressful and unnecessarily long days like this one, that you were particularly glad you had a room for yourself.

Your job wasn’t the problem. Yes, it was true that you were busier now that all of the commander’s paperwork went directly to you, and that his absence had unfortunately coincided with the beginning of the winter stockpiling process, which by the way, was proving to be significantly more challenging than you expected, given the limited resources available. But none of that was the problem. The problem was everything else.

It was the fact that Sasha, Reiner, Krista, Connie and the others had all been sent to another camp so they could be monitored by Squad Leader Miche, and that you didn’t know what they would need monitoring for, in the first place.

It was the fact that whoever was inside the female titan hadn’t been caught yet, and the possibility that there could be a spy living under the same roof as you.

It was the fact that it had been three nights since they had left for the capital, and you hadn’t heard from them at all.

It was the fact that every time you looked at his chair, it was still empty. And most importantly, the fact this made your heart weigh like a rock.

So, when your hand reached between your legs, you were certainly glad you had a room completely for yourself. Your fingers were always helpful on nights when you needed to decompress. So you tilted your head back, closed your eyes, and welcomed them in. But this time, when you felt their delicate touch caressing you through the fabric, you pictured fingers that didn’t belong to you. When they impatiently slipped under the cotton, you saw a smile that didn’t come from your lips. When they delightfully played with your clit and your breath quickened, you saw a face that had become as familiar as your reflection, but that looked nothing like yours. When they stretched you out exquisitely and your mouth opened wide to let out a silent moan, you heard a voice that didn’t sound like yours. And when they entered you repeatedly and you rolled your hips to match their delicious pace, you wanted to moan one name in particular. His name.

But you knew once his name left your lips, there would be no coming back. How were you supposed to look at him again after that? And most importantly, how were you supposed to keep fooling yourself after that?

Shameless. The way you practically ran down the stairs the moment you saw the convoy in the distance. Outrageous. The way your body forgot what a normal heart rate was supposed to be like the moment you caught sight of him. Completely unacceptable. The way your brain spent all that will power trying to stop you from throwing yourself into his arms, some part of you clearly struggling to understand that one is not supposed to hug one’s boss, no matter how long they had been gone for, or how good they smelled. And, most of all, extremely concerning. How the familiar sight of him sitting at his desk had been enough to melt your stress away, even though the winter stockpiling and the other problems you had been worrying about for the last few days were nothing but solved.

Except for one. The identity of the female titan had been revealed. Turns out that had been the sole purpose of their visit to Sina. You had never been particularly close with Annie, not that she was close with anyone for that matter, but still. To think that you had shared a room with her for three whole years sent chills down your spine. So you tried to avoid thinking about it.

And although the alleged spy living among you hadn’t been identified yet, catching the Female had been a complete morale booster for everyone at the headquarters, and as a result, the ale-induced singing was back in full swing, much to the dismay of your ears. You were certain that the ale rations wouldn’t last long. At that rate, they would have no booze left to warm them up during the cold months. And you had voiced these concerns to the commander. But he had just smiled reassuringly, as it was very much in character for him, and told you to let them have it.

“Occasions to celebrate are rare in this day and age, which reminds me,” he pulled a small tin box out of a drawer “I got you something.”

For me? Strange. You couldn’t remember having butterflies for lunch. But you tried to ignore them, and instead focused your efforts on helping your trembling fingers open the box.

And as soon as you saw what was inside, your eyes hurried to find him. Your mind suddenly flooded with memories that you realized were so distant now.

“But, commander, this costs an arm and a leg.” Your voice did nothing to contain the childlike joy you were experiencing. Figs were scarce, especially the ones that grew in the equally limited plots of land inside wall Sina. And this, the dried variety, was your favorite. It was not something people would indulge in often, however.

“Don’t worry about it. You told me it's been months since you last went home. Figured you must miss it.”

And there it was again. That excited flutter in your belly, as well as that problematic urge to jump into his arms. But you settled for an enthusiastic nod instead.

“Fig season, it was the time my father dreaded the most. I always came home from school with my bag full of fruit.” You reminisced aloud, longing present in every word. “It would always end up the same: my father complaining about me not understanding the value of money, all while munching on a fig himself.” You chuckled, and realized you actually wouldn’t mind getting scolded again. “But once he was done lecturing me, I would go to my room, lay them on the balcony, and wait for days. The scolding was agonizing but not as much as having to wait for the fruit to dry. I have never liked fresh figs that much really.” Your eyes drifted back to him just as you were about to start elaborating on the reason for that. “I’m sorry, you must have better things to do. But can I ask one last question?”

He nodded reassuringly, and you went ahead.

“How did you get them? I mean, didn’t Stohess get pretty damaged by Ann- the female titan?”

“I got them before that happened. As well as this.” He handed you a letter. The pretentious golden wax sealing it had already been broken, and upon closer inspection, you realized it was an invitation.

“A ball?” You asked him, voice thick with incredulity. Not only the city had been destroyed, but lots of lives had been lost during Eren and Annie’s clash. “Isn’t it a little… insensitive? I mean, holding an event like this, after what happened?”

“It is. Hange said the same thing. Everyone would rather not go, but we figured this will be a good opportunity to rub shoulders with potential contributors. I’m guessing what happened in Stohess wasn’t much of an issue for the organizers, since the event won’t be taking place there anyway.”

You eyed the invitation again. Mitras. In fact, it was not far from your house.

“You are from the capital, right? I was thinking you could take advantage of the opportunity and get to see your family.” A very pleasant warmth spread through your chest at the idea. You actually missed home quite a bit. “But you don’t have to attend if you don’t want to, so don’t feel pressured. Just think about it. Levi wished he had a choice.”

You couldn’t help letting out a chuckle. Dancing did sound very out of character for Captain Levi.

You eyed the small tin box on your desk, which was now missing more than half of its original content. You had already decided you were going to keep it even after the figs were all gone. It’s not like you were starting a collection or anything, but you enjoyed looking at the box. Something about it sent a tingling warmth down your limbs, and it happened to be the same kind of warmth you felt when staring at him. With the box, however, you didn’t risk getting caught. And that was a considerable advantage.

With that said, he seemed to be very busy now and, as far as you knew, a little staring never killed anyone. Good gracious. For someone reading a fat, dusty book about boring royal history, he was way too entertaining for the eyes. You liked observing him because, no matter how much you did it, there was always something new to look at, to notice, to tell your journal about. You had been wondering for a while, about his hair. It was always perfectly groomed, neatly parted on the left side. In fact, it was so obedient that you had never seen him tucking it behind his ear. He seemed to take such good care of it. No. Actually, not only his hair. Every aspect of his appearance was always so well-cared for.

It was a mystery, how someone with that many daily demands managed to keep a clean shave, impeccable hair, and smell that good at all times. You found the thought of him, taking a few minutes every morning to stand in front of a mirror and take care of himself, oddly comforting. It was nice to know there were at least small moments of normalcy in the life of the 13th Commander of the Survey Corps. You couldn’t stop yourself from wondering, however, how would his hair look disheveled and sticking to his sweaty forehead, and that tingling sensation in your lower stomach reminded you that it was probably time to look away.

So your eyes reluctantly traveled to the other side of the room, where they landed on the old chess board he kept by the fireplace. But even there, the question remained the same: When does he even play? Maybe sometimes, on very rare nights when there were no reports to write and no strategies to plan, he poured himself a glass of wine and sat by the fireplace to indulge in a rightfully deserved game of chess. But whether that happened or not, you realized it would, most likely, always remain a mystery to you. And you found yourself wishing your presence in his office wasn’t limited to official hours.

“It was my father’s.” The sound of his voice drew you away from your discontentment. “He said playing helped him think straight. More rationally.” He paused for a moment and then looked at you. “And less impulsively.” His eyes were all those glacial colors, but you swore sometimes they could burn so much.

“There’s nothing wrong with impulsive thoughts.” You held his gaze firmly as you spoke. “As long as we don’t act on them.”

The corners of his mouth twitched upwards. “Do you play?”

You shook your head lightly. “I never learned.” Which was weird, given the fact that chess was extremely popular back in Mitras and almost everyone played, even your parents. Whether they enjoyed it or not didn’t really matter, that was besides the point, because in the capital, chess wasn’t really played for entertainment purposes. “My mother tried to teach me when I was little. She insists it’s an important life skill. The game is somewhat of a status symbol where I live.”

He nodded in understanding. “The only thing my predecessor asked before appointing me was ‘are you good at chess?’ In the capital, the game is used as a tool to assess people and their value. If you perform well, they will believe everything you say, they will finance any project you propose, irrespective of the cost. But if your game is weak,”

“They won’t even listen to what you have to say.” You finished the thought. Despite having never seen him play, you were certain a man like him never struggled to be taken seriously. “How long have you been playing?”

“Since I was old enough to learn.”

“You must be very passionate.” You didn’t intend that sentence to come out in something similar to a whisper, but honestly you didn’t mind. And, if the way his lips curved was anything to go by, he didn’t seem to either.

“Or addicted. When sleep evades me, I play. When I need a fresh perspective, I play.” His demeanor slowly matured into something less playful as he spoke. “When I can’t make sense of what I’m feeling, I play.”

“And when you’re having impulsive thoughts?” You held his gaze boldly, even though it had never felt that heavy before. “Do you also play then?”

“Sometimes. There are some thoughts, however, that I don’t mind having.” His eyes bore into yours as the words left his mouth. “I’m starting to think I like them.”

next chapter

taglist: @elnyrae @angelaevangelion @depitaangeline @ynackerman9499 @afatalheat @pumpkin-toffee

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lovethatmakingcoffee · 4 months

Text

Part 1

Forever

Sorry this took so long, Forever. This is a pro-Forever post so be quiet.

Not to be parasocial or anything… but…

So it seems that cancellation always wins. No matter what you have done, how bad it is or if it was even real. In Forever's situation, it was real, but the internet in pure predictable internet fashion hyped it up way more than it needed to be. From what we have honestly gathered from Forever predicament, is that he had tweets long ago that were involved primarily with a group of friends. Those tweets were disturbing and gross in nature and were directed at young girl(s) allegedly around the age of 14 to 16. There was an obvious upset from a third party who called him out on it and he apologized/resolved the situation 7 to 8 years ago.

So! We know that this was resolved 7 to 8 years ago. We know the girl(s) involved do not want to get involved and do not see themselves as victim(s). Because if they did and didn’t get justice for it 7 to 8 years ago, they would have seen this blow up or have heard about it from those who reached out in concern and have taken advantage of the social media mob that was going after him. Either take advantage in getting their justice that they must have always desired and for some reason never got or to perhaps get it widely known enough to tear him down in some sort of way or perhaps sue/get him arrested. And they could get him arrested if they wanted to. If the age of consent in Brazil is 14, then they could always get him on some other charges. It’s not that hard. There are always loopholes.

But they didn’t. They didn’t go after him, making me quickly realize that they do not see themselves as victims. They were not hurt in this situation and they would at least be in their early twenties by now and be able to realize with more life experience and awareness if they were hurt by something in their youth. Maybe they didn’t feel hurt at age 14, but in their early twenties they should be able to recognize if that situation was traumatic for them. But they haven’t said it was. It wasn’t traumatic. They don’t see themselves as victims so they aren’t. Even in their twenties they do not see that time in their life as something that was dangerous for them. And they don’t want to be involved and they don’t hate Forever.

I saw the response from one of the girls. The main girl it would appear. And would also appear that twitter has twisted her words in an uncreative way. What I understood is that when she said she got to know Forever closer than the other Minecraft youtubers and that they went ‘out’, meant that they went out to hang out, because earlier in her statement, she said that. That she ‘hung out’ with Forever. Then later said she ‘went out’ further on in the statement. From what I could gather, this ‘went out’ or ‘hanging out’ were of the fan meet and greets. She said she had family members and adults with her every time, telling us that she had adult supervision, like most teenagers would have when meeting an adult creator that they admire. She also gave the years of when she met him and to me this wouldn’t make sense if these were time periods when they were dating or hooking up. If it was one day or so every few years, then how does that even work if it’s dating or hooking up? Why wouldn’t she say that she met up with him for extended periods of time and not just a day or so out of a certain number of years? She also said she had more ‘proof’ of these claims, to me meaning that she had evidence of the exact dates and places but probably didn’t want to dox herself or something cause this is the internet she is addressing.

Also, also, if she meant that they were dating, why wouldn’t she just say that? That they ‘dated’, instead of ‘went out’ or ‘hung out.’ Some people who claim to be Portuguese said that the way she said it was supposed to be interpreted as intimate, but right now I am definitely taking everything every social media user says with a grain of salt. Especially since I have already encountered a few people who have claimed some very contradicting things which I will explain later. And I doubt since she didn’t want to be involved in the first place that she won’t reiterate what she meant since I understand her hesitation in making any statements on Twitter or other social media platforms. She may never clear up what she said, but she doesn’t have to and I don’t expect that of her. From what I could understand of what she stated, this is what she meant. That they were really just friends.

She is obviously not a professional and some of her words were left to interpretation. Making them vague and a tad unclear, but like I said, she’s not a professional. She won’t say things perfectly nor has a PR team to help her correct things. And if people go after her too for whatever reason, she doesn’t owe an explanation or an apology for anything or anybody. She didn’t even have to make a statement. In fact, demanding an apology on a victimless act seems all too entitled. And the idea of apology videos for something that has already been resolved is stupid.

And lastly, she asked not to attack Forever or others involved. And if she has resentment towards him, that would be a rather counter intuitive move. Cause she obviously appears to be a person who doesn’t want to be involved at all and if she wanted to be the victim, she could be. Hell, I would usually if not always side with the female victim if there was one. But she doesn’t see herself in that role so in turn I will not see her as a victim.

From what I could deduct about her announcement, she clearly seems to hold no ill will to Forever except for when he displayed a few texts in his video that they exchanged that looked to me like ‘greetings’ and ‘meet ups.’ They were pretty casual and yes, the man probably should have had gotten her permission on those first, but it’s not like they were nudes or sexting. Which is what I feared. They were simple conversation starters. But I understand her displeasure in them being put online, just out of the sheer anxiety she must be receiving with this sea of anonymous twitter freaks hounding her for information. So I get her hesitation about the messages, even if it was a smaller thing then I feared. And yes, Forever should have gotten her permission to post them if he hadn’t.

Though at this point, it doesn’t matter what Forever does because the internet already views him with rage-colored glasses. And it is difficult to shake that off. He could save a hundred orphans from a burning building tomorrow and the internet will find a way to view him negatively since they strictly see him in this light.

But going back to the girl, she clearly does not see herself as a victim. Meaning, that the 'lovely' internet has gone ahead and categorized the girls into the victim position even though the ‘victims’ themselves would disagree with that stance. And then the internet has so graciously put Forever in the 'abuser/groomer/bad guy' position even though there are technically no victims to speak of. There were girls but no victims. The girls say they weren’t victims, so why don’t we believe them? I swear, give it a week and the internet will cancel the girls next for their stances and beliefs on this, holy shit the irony.

And again, I reaffirm, she is at the age to publicly tear him apart if she wants to. She should be able to understand the full weight of the situation, yet she chooses not to cancel him and asks to please not attack him or others. And that she didn’t want their past to upend his career. It sounds stereotypical but also genuine. So I shall believe her when she says nothing happened between them. I believe both her and Forever when they say this.

Her and Forever were once and now at the same age, where a third party brought their attention to this situation, and both have agreed that this moment in their lives is not what the internet is making it out to be. That they we’re not in a pedo scenario.

But it was just too easy to put him in the pedo position. Him being a man and all. It was quite simple. And it was so easy to spark up the social media mob with key words like pedo, racist, transphobe, Nazi, blah blah blah. The internet likes to pick one if not usually all of those words when they are trying to cancel someone. And it appears, every time, that they are successful. No matter who the person is or what they have done. It is for the most part easy to cancel someone.

Everyone showed that twitter anti who leaked the tweets how easy it was. How easy it was to get someone you don’t like offline. And everyone was so focused on what the tweets had to say, that they didn’t question the twitter user’s intentions. Most would say they did it to uncover a pedophile and to give justice to the victims by allowing awareness of the pedo's crimes so everyone will know who he truly is and that he was secretly a bad guy all along! But the fun contradictions that takes that all apart, is that there aren’t any victims. None came up and clearly said they were the victim.

There was no justice. So no one was helped in this situation. These tweets didn’t help anyone and just hurt everyone involved. Everyone is saying that these tweets hurt them, that what Forever did hurt them. And that’s where I draw the line in the sand cause no, Forever didn’t hurt anyone. He didn’t hurt you or me or those girls. He said stupid shit in his early twenties that yeah if I had known him personally back then, I would have shattered his teeth in for being such a dumbass or ghosted his ass, but in the end, he didn’t hurt anyone. It was this random twitter user who hurt everyone. They exposed all of this that was resolved several years ago and hurt everyone by doing so. Forever, the girls who didn’t want to be exposed in any sense of the word or involved, the QSMP, you, and me.

So that leads me to ask why they did it? What were their actual intentions? No one seemed to really be asking this in the past couple of weeks. Why did they up-earth this information? Why post it now at the height of Forever's popularity when everyone online was saying how much they loved him and how he is the heart of the server and were begging for him to come back to the QSMP? Why did this anti go straight to social media instead of doing the right thing and reach out to those girls first and ask if they were ok and if they wanted this to happen? If they wanted this information to be leaked? But no, they selfishly went on twitter first and posted the leaked tweets. Not caring or considering how that would affect anyone or anything and just wanting to cause pain. And the internet gave them exactly what they wanted. They kicked Forever off the QSMP, got him labeled as a pedo, and hurt everybody. Which is honestly such bullshit.

When I saw what was happening, my first reaction to most bullshit isn’t sadness or grief, but anger. I was pissed when I saw the internet trying to cancel Forever. For multiple reasons. First and foremost because I thought it was so hypocritical that people were singing his praise and begging for him to return to the QSMP not hours prior, and then the second that stuff got leaked, everyone and I mean EVERYONE went like "oh it’s time to cancel Forever o clock." "I never liked him anyways" "he betrayed us!" "How could he do something so awful?" Which was honestly the fastest 180 I have ever seen in my whole life. They didn’t even question if these tweets were real and maybe they were generated by ai or photoshopped. They were so ready to cancel Forever before he even made his first vod addressing it. The internet left no breathing room.

And even when he made his first vod hours after, it was too late. It didn’t matter what he said or how he said it, he could have done anything at all, the internet already labeled him as guilty. They slammed his neck on the social media guillotine. I believe he could have done the most proper apology video known to man and it wouldn’t have mattered. He could have been calm, cool and collected as he professionally addressed the situation, but that wouldn’t have mattered either. He could have had actual physical evidence showing that he is not in fact a pedophile straight away and guess what? It-Wouldn’t-Have-Mattered! There were those who sparked this drama on purpose and were lying in wait for his video response to drop so they could angle it with him being the bad guy in some way.

The internet was ready to take him apart and choke him out. Mere minutes after the tweets were posted. And I agree, his vod addressing things was a bit hotheaded, but haven’t you all watched this guy for the past few months? He is hotheaded. And frankly, I would be pissed too if some rando online unearthed part of my life that I grew out of. Like- he is obviously not that guy anymore. He isn’t an incel weirdo, and I’m going to say it again and again: He is not a pedophile.

I mean, I hope Forever actually finds this guy and sues his ass. If not for himself then for other creators. It was said that this jerk was also targeting Pac and other members of the QSMP, so like- who wants this asshole around? He isn’t some whistleblower or anything, he was some anti who hated Forever and wanted him gone, and got what he wished for. And you know what? Just like how those girls could have sued or charged Forever through loopholes, ten bucks says Forever could do the same with this guy. Which go for it, my dude. That anti is going to go after someone else one day. Possibly more QSMP members. They could go after Phil or Quackity himself, posting something real or fake to get them canceled. If Forever wants to be the one who bites back, I encourage him to do so. Cause I wanna bite back. Let me at em. Let me at em.

But also, I must say I was disturbed by the internet's readiness to cancel someone so quickly. How gung-ho they were to dogpile him. And I do theorize many of these dog pilers were Forever antis who could have been in the know to fan the flames of this cancellation the moment these tweets were leaked. But that's just a theory I can’t prove. Though what also bothered me was how so many just stayed quiet. I assume in the fear of being labeled as a pedophile supporter. Afraid to say anything against the crowd less they are accused and labeled as a fellow pedophile or an idiot. But I couldn't care less. Feel free. Cancel me. I don’t have much to lose, nor could I care if you tried. I don’t have much going on anyway, so good luck.

But yes, I know there are those who agree with me, not everyone thinks Forever is a pedo. So Forever if you see this, know that there are those who see through this antis’ intentions/charade and will still gladly support you and your endeavors, some are just not so bold enough to speak up about it, but I am cause I'm rabid and pissed. I won't go on twitter too much because that place is a minefield and I think sustaining an argument on there is too hard and not worth it cause you have to post your argument bit by bit and I’m a working adult so I don’t have time for that. Nor will I pay premium anything. I give my money to no one.

But I have been speaking up on other platforms and my intention why? …Well, it’s because firstly this is dumb, and secondly this is wrong, and thirdly I had the worst year of my life in 2023. The people I thought I could trust turned out to be very bad people and whoopee, I got deported. It’s a long story but I will save you the details. But just so you know, the reason I will defend you with all my blood, sweat, and tears is because the QSMP was one of the few things that lightened up my day. And you were my favorite part of the QSMP and I think nobody did it like you.

You did such fascinating lore and you and your character were so interesting, I couldn't take my eyes off of you. Your avatar was so fun to draw and I'm not going to stop drawing your character because of this. You are haha funny Brazilian man, but you are also so much more than that. You are smart and creative. You have genuine heart when taking care of your friends and the eggs. And I hope you find happiness after this turmoil. I hope you can pick yourself back up again after this cancellation because you deserve way more than what these so called 'fans' have given you.

You have obviously grown into a fine respectable man ever since you posted those nasty tweets from several years ago and I am proud to see that you have changed. Not many people ever change and it is nice to see that you have done so for the better. That you recognized your mistakes, apologized all those years ago then improved yourself. I think that’s very commendable and not many are willing to put in the effort. It’s just a shame that the internet won’t let you change and grow up. Once something happens, they forever cement that into your personality when you are obviously so much more than your past faults. You are not that person anymore! But even though I have known you for only a short while, I can see that you are a good person with a good heart and if others can’t see that then so be it.

And since you have heart, well... I don’t know if I should say this next part, but I will so sorry if it’s true. But I think you warned your friends to unfollow you, didn't you? Or at least, there was a mutual discussion and agreement. So they wouldn't get caught in the crosshairs. And you told Quackity to remove you so the QSMP wouldn’t suffer. Or you both agreed that your removal was for the best. I at least theorize that’s what you did. I don’t know how well the other QSMP members have taken your tweets, I assume some are as mad at you as those twitter users, but I think statistically not all of them hate you. I have no way of proving it, but the only way I can tell is that yes, they quietly banned and unfollowed you. Yes, they removed you from QSMP but they haven’t made any videos going like "I hate Forever and this is why." It could be some sort of contractual thing on why they aren’t openly addressing their supposed disgust, but I sincerely think this is the case. And I don’t want your friends to be targeted too in case it is, but if it is I think it’s a bit of a shame. That if they actually disagree with the masses they won’t speak up and let you take the fall. Even if it’s per your request, it still seems awful and personally makes me sick. That everyone is just allowing for you to be labelled as a pedo. I mean- your girlfriend and family are being harassed and those female fans are being bothered. I just can’t fully see why the QSMP members would stay still at such disgusting behavior from the masses, especially if they disagree otherwise. I think it’s unfair and goes against everything that the QSMP represents. It’s supposed to represent people coming together and community, isn’t it? Right? Well what a lonesome community it has become.

Forever, this part of the message isn’t more so for you but for Quackity and co. Questioning if what I theorize is true, you are really going to let your friend take the fall for your server, reputation, and money?

Frankly, ouch.

But I get it. If this is Forever protecting everything you guys built together then I understand. Especially since it seemed more than just a cancellation on Forever and more like an attempted mass cancellation on the entire QSMP server and all of its members. Because just think, everyone. If they accepted Forever back into the fold and even made an argument saying everything I said or more, the internet would still tear them apart. Everything they worked for could possibly go down the drain, OR so QSMP and co may fear it would. I know there are others who have seen through the antis’ intentions, recognizing who Forever is as a person, and understood the QSMP's decision with removing him. But that doesn’t change the fact that this is entirely unfair, will hinder the QSMP because Imma be real, after taking everything that I already said into consideration and just looking at this now as a technical aspect of what makes up the QSMP, Forever was the one bringing up the best lore.

And I mean it. The eggs are cute and wholesome, and many creators have made some interesting lore with the shipping and plot, but Forever’s was just so compelling. Brunim and Philza, Ninho, the Presidency, the Happy Pill Arc, the Nether, the Infection, Eve. It was all so riveting that I was on the edge of my seat! I will claim without a shadow of a doubt that my man made the best content and I will stay firm on that judgment. And personally I think the QSMP will become lacking without his presence. And just the fact that they might have let him go over something that is wrong and they might have secretly disagreed with it if they weren’t so susceptible to the loud majority’s favor… ugh, it just stings.

Just knowing that my guy has grown and is kind and funny and that incel punk is not who he is anymore, yet he is still dragged by the past and accused of one of the worst things ever! With no ‘victims’ backing up that accusation! Is just plain fucking revolting!

AND lastly, letting go of Forever doesn’t stop the QSMP from being cancelled in the future. You all have just bought yourself more time until the inevitable. At this very moment, it would appear that a wave of different types of hate and negativity has washed over the QSMP, targeting tons of different members in different ways. None so impactful as Forever’s cancellation, but it could get that bad for others.

It has already been proven that there are people out there who will go through great lengths to get rid of one of the best members on your team. So they will individually attack every single member no matter who they are, bringing up past dirt or making something up. And then more successful cancellations will ensue. It doesn’t matter who it is, it could be Wilbur who was on tour all year, he will be an easy target cause he's a musician and attractive so it will be simple to accuse him of having relations with any number of female fans. Etoiles has been cancelled once already so he could easily be targeted again. They can even go after Quackity saying he met with a younger girl than Forever did, because woohoo the big outrage was that at least one of the fans was 14 years old and that is also the age of consent in Brazil. Meaning if he was a pedophile, he could get away with hooking up with this female fan since it would have been legal. And everyone online would be justifiably cancelling him for the ick factor alone. Cause I will speak on everyone’s behalf that is twisted and gross, Brazil. But guess what? Come on, guess? Guess what the age of consent is in Mexico? ~12~ So look out, Quackity. Because these cancellers will cancel you whether anything is real or not and so many will jump on that bandwagon alongside side them. So please. Do look out for yourself.

But what I am saying that it is so easy to unfairly cancel someone on social media. Any one of the QSMP members will be next and if more and more of you drop because of it or have to be removed because of it, then there will be no more QSMP members left. No more QSMP community. No one left to defend each other because everyone was busy defending themselves to 'protect' their friends from being dragged down with them. Even if you lose some viewership or a lot, you should stick together. Because that’s what the QSMP is all about. And you are a lot stronger in numbers than you are alone. You will get labeled as the pedo server or whatever by assholes, but at least you didn’t discard your friends over twitter masses that just frankly don’t matter.

Also, fyi, I think it’s statistically improbable for everyone on the QSMP to be creeps. Maybe one or two is believable. But everyone is a racist, transphobe, pedo, blah blah blah whatever? I press X to doubt. And even now. Even with the one being so strongly accused, I still don’t believe Forever is Pedo Monster. Not at all. Especially with everything I have pointed out today.

And speaking of the masses, I believe some of you think this and deep down some of you agree that what I have said is all true. Even if you feel hurt by it, I think you can sense that this was all too convenient and was very malicious from the start. And honestly, now that these trolls have been given a foot to stand on and power, things will most likely just get worse. Or maybe not, who knows! But I’m saying it’s highly likely.

Though to scold some of you who have been making contradictory statements, I read the tweet Forever liked and made a whole essay about it! If you really read it, he wasn’t liking it because the thread maker said that "young girls are mature for their age” so that means pedophile is okay. That’s not what they meant at all! In fact, that statement was completely taken out of context. The thread maker said there are studies arguing with that statement "young girls are mature for their age" and then the thread maker immediately noted "But that’s a damaging mindset." They did not agree with pedophilia and was taking a more calculative approach about why this situation was happening. And that’s why Forever liked it. Not because both him and the thread maker believed dating 14-year-old girls was ok. He's not that stupid. Just stupid people took it out of context to fan the flames and people took what they said at face value without reading the thread.

Here is the English version of said post that I translated with google translate-https://lovethatmakingcoffee.tumblr.com/post/739870595768090624/lumilla-lopes-ludylops-post-about-forever-in

And here is my deduction of said post if any of you have difficulty reading- https://lovethatmakingcoffee.tumblr.com/post/739017633425473536/and-then-she-said-that-type-of-mentality-hurts#notes

So to highlight this long-winded post, no I don’t think Forever is a pedophile, I don’t think there is a victim, and I do think that anti twitter user needs to face me in the front of an Arby’s so I can show them fist one and fist two.

I will not respond to any of the replies that will come from this post because I follow the number one rule of the internet and that is "To not feed the trolls".

And yes, if you do annoy me, I will block you. I could care less.

I will never delete any of my art that I made of Forever and have saved as much lore from with wiki as I could in case QSMP just wants to get rid of it one day. I also have seen lots of people get rid of or censor their Forever art, so like a panicking Greek fleeing from the burning Library of Alexandria, I am saving as much art as I can and keeping them on my phone. I don't know what I am going to do with it, but it won't be lost to deletion or censorship.

I won’t really be able to follow you, Forever, because I don’t speak Portuguese. But I hope wherever you venture to will be fun and you will be happy, you haha funny Brazilian man.

(I don’t think there was any other way I could have written this where I probably won’t get hate. This was long and took many days to write, and I CERTAINLY don’t have a PR team looking this over, so like Forever, no matter how perfect I respond, some troll will bite at my fingers. So yep.)

#If he somehow sees this... good #qsmp #quackity smp #forever #foreverplayerg #qsmpforever #discourse #I have a lot to say #this took me a long time to make

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gregorovitch-adler · 1 year

Text

A theory about the Holmes stories-

Holmes never had a façade about being an unfeeling machine. He was just somewhat an introverted kinda guy (probably on the spectrum). Watson had only made it up to save him from public suspicions, etc.

Just look at the way Watson describes Holmes in A Study in Scarlet. The first time they met, the first case they ever solved together. He was extra poetic about him throughout the novel.

“Ha! ha!” he cried, clapping his hands, and looking as delighted as a child with a new toy. “What do you think of that?”

It's so different from his description of Holmes in the very next story, i.e., The Sign of the Four. A stark contrast-

“You really are an automaton,—a calculating- machine!” I cried. “There is something positively inhuman in you at times.”

This type of description remains consistent in the rest of the stories, later on. (Mostly. Some incidents do give him away, but generally speaking.)

The reason might be because of this-

“Some facts should be suppressed, or at least a just sense of proportion should be observed in treating them.

Holmes had asked him to do that, himself.

I know that a lot of people already think that this might be the case but what I'm trying to say is that I don't think that The Adventure of the Three Garridebs was the first time that Watson was able to see the great heart behind the cold mask. I think Watson knew about the existence of his human side already. Canon! Watson was not oblivious. He must have known everything about Holmes' feelings. I do believe that he's an unreliable narrator. A lot of the things he says in his stories can be taken with a grain of salt.

What makes Three Garridebs so special is that it was a rare moment when Holmes being openly vulnerable and affectionate towards Watson and that moment was so intense that Watson didn't have it in himself to suppress the facts anymore.

Watson says that it was the first time ever that he saw Holmes' emotional side behind the cold mask.

In my opinion, it was only partially true. That wasn't the first time he saw it, that was the time when the moment was so intense that he couldn't find any other way to describe it in his story but the raw truth about it. That's why he made it sound like it was the first time ever that he was seeing it. I really don't think that Canon! Watson was that oblivious (unlike John Watson from BBC Sherlock).

He is the POV character in most of the stories. The narration is almost always in first person. Sometimes he describes him like he did in the whole of STUD. Or like this in some of the other stories-

We had a first-class carriage to ourselves–and laying a hand upon each of my knees he looked into my eyes with the peculiarly mischievous gaze which was characteristic of his more imp-like moods.

(The problem of Thor bridge)

Other times, he chooses to describe him something along the lines of "sentiment for my companion is like a crack in the lens, a fly in the ointment..." and so on. Holmes was even playing the violin to help him sleep in The Sign of the Four. Watson was himself the one to mention it and talk about it in that story. It becomes quite contradictory sometimes.

Which is why I think that the "cold and unfeeling machine" was not even a façade that Canon!Holmes was hiding behind. He was always sentimental and Watson knew about this. This is the kind of image that Watson just made it up for his chronicles in The Strand.

To avoid unwanted questions and suspicion from the public.

#john watson #acd holmes #acd watson #acd books #johnlock #acd johnlock #holmes/watson #sherlockian #sherlock headcanon #theories #acd meta #sherlock holmes

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slashingdisneypasta · 5 months

Text

Foxy Coltrane x Fem!Reader || Excerpts

Plot: A few (5) of your many 💋kisses💋 with Foxy Coltrane. They aren't really in any particular order.

'I just wanted to know what it would be like.' - Gilmore Girls

Warnings: Sexual references + kissing gifs. Reader is pretty obsessed. Unedited.

***the 'fem' part in the title can be taken with a grain of salt. I only put it because the gifs are all hetero. If that doesn't bother you, theirs actually no mention that the reader is feminine in the writing.

1; The first time.

Your lips touch his, your hands sliding up a moth eaten american flag shirt and the warm chest under it and they reach his shoulders, and its absolutely everything you thought it would be. He grins against your mouth like he just won a bet and strong arms wrap around you; holding you still. Literally caging you in.

If you hadn't already committed to this madness, then you probably would have the good sense to be afraid of that. But you wanted this. You thought about it, you considered the pros and the cons, the feel of his lips on yours vs the feel of his fingers in your guts, and the desire to kiss him won by a landslide.

You must be crazy.

Foxy kisses just like how you would imagine a 55-year-old borderline feral classic to kiss- all encompassing, that beard rubbing your face in an oddly pleasant way and his big hands grabbing your hips just like they belong there. Like you're his. He takes his time kissing you, his mouth moving carefully on yours, just enjoying it; a hot piece of ass like you just walkin' up and kissing him out of nowhere. He's definitely game for shit like that.

When you have to breathe and separate just for air, he tries to follow you for half a second, but settles for giving you a mischievous, almost smug grin and dropping his forehead against yours. "... well hi." He drawls, his voice a slow crawl that makes you feel things. Terrible, dangerous things.

Breathless and eyes glazed over with want. Everything about the older man is perfect to you- how can he be so handsome?? How can he be so hot? And interesting? And the fact that he's considerably saner then his brother and sister is definitely a bonus for you. "I just wanted to know... what it would be like."

"Oh? Making out with an old guy?" Foxy teases. "Kinky little bitch, huh?"

"Making out with you." You admit boldly, your hands still on his shoulders and watch his face transform into a wicked grin.

"'s that so?... " He looks thoughtful and impressed and intrigued by you, his eyes soft but daunting at the same time. "You sure about that? Kinda dangerous, dontcha think?... "

Definitely. "I think it was worth it."

"You wanna get outta here?"

2; When he comes back after a trip away from you.

"Fox!" As soon as you saw him laid back half-slumped in the cushions on your couch, his knees spread wide manspreading like an ass, and an old black-and-white on your tv, and that slow smirk on his handsome face after he was gone for 2 months, your mood is completely lifted. You had the l o n g e s t day at work and you were ready to absolutely collapse but the effect he has on you is an instant recharge. A slow grin spreads across your face as you close the door behind you. You've missed him so bad-

"Hey there sweetheart. Been a while this time. My bad." The way his eyes flicker down your body and back up to your face again, the happy-to-see-you grin on his handsome rugged face, lights you up inside even brighter. He came here to see you!! He's happy to see you!! "C'mere."

You don't hesitate a second before crossing the room and settling in his lap, connecting your lips in a searing kiss full of all the want you've had to compartmentalise and put away all the time that he was not here. He barely moves, seeming lazy as he just lifts his chin to kiss you back. He doesn't need to move; you're in control (at least he lets you believe you are, 'cuz he likes you) and you're already nice and close in his lap, your knees digging into the couch cushions on either side of his camo-clad hips.

You went from negative one hundred to positive two hundred so fast you're already clenching around nothing, and so when he puts his hands on your hips (His big, dangerous, experienced wolfman hands) and encourages you to grind down on his hard bulge - which must have already been hard before you walked in, - you're happy to oblige. The kiss has to stop, at that- an inconceivable sigh of relief choking you at the feeling you missed; your head pressing into his shoulder as your hips slowly move against him.

"There, there, baby... I'm back... "

3; When Otis is looking at you a certain kind of way.

You hate Otis' attention. You hate being around Otis- he nearly killed you when you first met the Fireflies, after all, and it was only Baby who kept you alive cuz you were a good playmate (now of course you're Foxy's playmate, instead though. Funny how things change). But even now he sometimes looks at you, and you can tell he still wants to kill you after all this time. Pull you apart and make something new out of your pieces. Otis hasn't become attached to you in the slightest- he never would. In his head you will always be prey.

The whole time Otis has been sticking near to you tonight and picking on you Foxy has been behind you, telling him to back the hell off you whenever he goes too far, or just glaring. Otis knows what he's doing, knows he shouldn't be messing with you (You're Foxy's), but of course he doesn't care.

When Otis crosses the line with Fox (Finally. He crossed the line as far as you're concerned 3 seconds in), referring to you as 'meat, you're sure Foxy's going to pick up your hand and take you both out of there. Leave. Go somewhere where it can be just the two of you.

You're shocked when he sits down in a chair and guides in between his legs, one hand on your waist drawing you in for a deep kiss thats would be completely indecent in any other social group but the Fireflies. A surprised noise slips out of you but after he uses the opening to slip his tongue into your mouth, you get quiet; obediently kissing him back. Needily kissing him back. You're absolutely all his and you can never ever help it when he kisses you. He kisses you, and its all over. Any restraint you had, any nervousness or fear (Of him, of Otis, of your own psychotic desires for this evil man) disappear and all you have is a want for the warm familiar feel of him under your skin.

He knows it.

He knows as soon as he does this to you you wont be scared, anymore. You'll forget all about Otis. And Otis'll lose all interest.

And just like that, with Foxy's tongue deep in your mouth and his hand on your waist squeezing the fat there gently and making you crazy, Otis rolls his eyes and gets up. You don't even notice him leave, your fingers losing themselves in your Foxes hair just like the rest of you is lost in him.

Foxy cracks his eyes open, still kissing you, to watch him walk off. Too fucken easy.

4. Slow kisses when you're alone and you have plenty of time.

Sometimes the stars and the planets all align and your free wolfman stays. Foxy gets that still energy about him- like he's not going anywhere this time, at least for now, like here with you is exactly where he most wants to be in the world- and thats saying something because Foxy can go anywhere he wants to. Have whatever he wants. do whatever he wants. At least thats what you think.

At least he can get whatever he wants, from you.

During these times where he's still, not going away, you hope to be alone. No Fireflies, no Spaulding, no scary Otis.

Because- g o d.

When you are alone-

Theirs something oddly romantic about him, something from those old movies he likes in the way he touches you. His lips on yours are soft, teasing, setting your nerves on fire and making you moan. He'll sit on the couch for hours with you just tasting your lips, and your tongue, and your cheeks and jaw and neck and anywhere else he can reach. And when you get up to eat, or shower, or go to the bathroom, its not long before the possessive-obsessive wolfman comes up behind you and starts all over again.

He presses your front against a wall and lathers your neck and shoulders in those maddening gentle kisses, he feels up your spine with the tips of his dirty fingernails while you're cooking something on the stove and then sucks the darkest hickey you've ever seen into the crook of your neck (It'll be so sensitive to the touch after. He'll leave the same ones in all sorts of other places on you, too), he'll kiss you deep until you get lightheaded from the sheer lack of air.

He makes you even more addicted to him. Makes it even worse when he inevitably leaves again.

But... while it lasts....

5. The kiss in the middle of a fight.

Its honestly the hardest thing in the world for you to be mad at this man- because he could hurt you. But also because you love him. And also because he refuses to listen!!

"You are the most frustrating- are you hearing me??"

He looks up from a machete set across his knees, which he was picking blood clots off of with his bare fingernails, and raises his brows. "... huh?"

"Ughhhhh!" You just got finished telling him what was bothering you, and he was off in la la land!! Frustration washes through you like a tidal waive and you don't know what to do with yourself. He does this every time!! You're pretty sure he does it on purpose! Unsure what to do with yourself, you whip around and storm off- ignoring his 'wait, hold on, wait, wait!- '.

When suddenly his hand wraps around your wrist like a vice and whips you back around to him you end up slamming right against his chest. You try to back up and storm away again but his other hand comes down on your arm and holds you still. "Hold on, there. What's the problem, sweetcheeks?"

"Whats the pr-!? " Ohhhhh. "Let me go, I'm leaving!"

"Come on, clue me in."

"I did! You weren't listening!"

"Alright, shit, well I didn't think it was something important. Fuck me. Alright, siddown, my ears are wideee open."

"No!"

"I'm not givin' you a choice."

Instead of arguing with that you just start struggling against him again, and he watches half-annoyed at your little attempts; wriggling your wrist in his grip and trying to yank your other arm away from him- you budge him but he doesn't let go. "Fuck- "

Eventually his annoyance turns into amusement, watching you wriggle like a worm on a hook. "Goddamnit, you're cute." A slow smirk spreads across his face looking down at you. "Makes me wanna do stuff to ya. Stuff ya like. Too bad you're so upset... woulda been a fun couple hours."

Thats, admittedly, makes you falter. Even give up. Fuck. Breathless, you stop your fighting and look up at him with big frustrated bambi eyes. "... what?"

"You heard me."

"I'm mad at you." He cant do this to you!! This isn't fair! He's an ass, and he deserves to be mad at for a while.

"I know, I know." The grin on his face spreads as he steps in closer to your body, now that you're not actively trying to get away from him anymore; he knows he's got you. You can feel his warmth against your skin through layers of clothes. "... but come on, that'll just make it more fun, right?"

"... " You part your lips to respond, agree with him or deny him some more even though you know you want to give in, when you realise his grip on you loosened. Your heartbeat immediately picks up and thank god he doesn't realise it because a moment later you're gone from his grip and storming off again.

This time you make it a mere 2 feet before he catches you again and drags you back right against him this time; smothering your laughter and his amused grin at your cheek with his mouth.

The kiss immediately destroys any last resolve you had for yourself and you ring your arms up around his neck; slipping your tongue into his mouth.

#i want to kiss himmmmm XD #this was originally just the first excerpt but it was so simple and dissapointing 😅 so- i added more kisses (:#XD #also forgive me. i'm a lil romantic about foxy and it d e f i n e t l y shines through 😂😂😂#i hope characterisation didn't take the hit too hard!#i watched that forest scene before writing the last one so i think he came out best in that one ^^#Foxy Coltrane x Reader Excerpts #Foxy Coltrane x Reader #Winslow Foxworth Coltrane x Reader Excerpts #Winslow Foxworth Coltrane x Reader #Foxy Coltrane #Winslow Foxworth Coltrane

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minsungchronology · 6 months

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My Personal Opinions on Minsung's Dynamic (2021)

Disclaimer: I am not trying to pass off my opinions as facts. This is my personal interpretation of what is laid out right in front of us. I could be completely off base because I don’t know these guys personally, so take this with a grain of salt and feel free to disagree!

Good god their flirting has really ramped up this year.

If 2020 was subtle, then this year it’s more on the surface. I really think 2021 is where you get to see just how good their chemistry is and how well they bounce off of each other.

I think at this point they’ve found their footing and are very comfortable with each other. It’s so interesting to see their progression on camera, when you get to watch everything in order from the beginning to now. I keep saying this but it’s actually such a fun experience. There’s not a lot of content during the first half of the year because of Kingdom mostly. But the show really shows you how insane each member’s work ethic is, how talented they are, and how hard they work as a group. Not just with each other, but the staff who are with them 24/7 as well.

But back to the main topic:

They seem a lot surer of themselves and are blatantly flirty. Han is the boldest he’s ever been (the development). The members are openly more 😏🤔😟 of them. I think the teasing comes back in full force this year.

First (I noted this in the video), this moment is debatable to me:

I know a lot of shippers talk about this one even though it’s not explicitly confirmed, but it’s during the Chan’s room Vlive where Lee Know recommends a few songs, one of them being Johnny Balik’s Honey. They briefly talk about the song and how LK has an affinity for listening to multiple songs of the same artist, etc. Then all of a sudden Chan asks if he likes “honey” with an almost teasing? tone of voice. LK is a bit taken aback by his question and is like “why do you ask?” And Chan says, “just because”.

I’m on the side that Chan was deliberately trying to tease him about Han “Hannie” (his name sounds like honey when you add the -ie particle). On multiple occasions, the members have also made connections with Han’s name and honey before, especially with JYP’s “Honey” song. LK’s confused reaction kind of adds on to that with him quickly saving the question by answering about actual 🍯. But again, this moment is debatable b/c it’s not as clear cut like the other moments I’ve placed in this project. I’m actually curious to see what opinions people have on this moment.

Then there’s Seungmin who blatantly says they act “lovey dovey” off camera (lmfao what tf does he see??????) and commenting on their photobooth photos and how they look like a couple. I think out of all the members, him and Changbin have the least filter when it comes to LK and Han. Chan is a close third.

Then there’s I.N feeling like a “third wheel” during the cooking show and subtlety alluding to that because of their high energy together.

Now onto the moments that make me go “what??”:

In Mysterious Kitchen, Lee Know asks himself what his favorite food is and Han very quietly but instantly blurts out “Me”. Man forgot the cameras were on for a second. 😭

Then comes the infamous Vlive where LK forgets to tell Han he turned on the speaker to his phone. Han ends up calling him “Jagi” through the phone and starts stuttering and panicking as soon as he realizes that everyone and their mom can hear him. If they played it off as a joke I wouldn’t raise my brows towards it at all, but Han panicked, so it must mean something and how they want/don’t want to be perceived at this point in time.

Han does come on his next live and clarifies that he also calls the other members that and vice versa (which again, it’s normal to use terms of endearment towards your friends), but him getting nervous and stuttering on himself when being caught with calling LK that is quite telling.

And then all of a sudden after this incident you have them openly calling other members “Jagi” on camera,,, when that has NEVER happened before. (LK did it as a joke back in 2018 at a fansign, but it was still a joke at the end of the day so…)

Another moment I want to point out is how LK mentioned on the radio show that Han is a “Yes man” when it comes to him (feel like this is also very much reciprocated, you’ll see this a lot next year). Recently, a Two Kids show episode came out and Han talked about how he doesn’t like hanging out with people in general. In the past, he’s also been open about being more of a homebody than someone who is constantly out and about. Compared to him, LK is more outdoorsy and adventurous, so it’s speaks volumes when Han almost always agrees to LK’s suggestions, and LK immediately understanding Han’s boundaries without any protest when he’s like “I don’t want to go out today, I already used up my energy for that”. Getting a little glimpse of that just shows you how well they “get” each other and how mutual/healthy their friendship (as we can see) is.

Personal Opinions:

I think this year, they are very much at a place where they’re the most comfortable they’ve ever been with each other. I still think at this point they consider each other to be just friends and are able to maintain that, but they have no reservations playfully flirting with each other and even toe the line sometimes. Like the other members also seem to be very much aware that they have a special bond and aren’t shy about teasing them.

I also believe very, very late into this year, there’s a glaring awareness between them that the “more than platonic” feelings are mutual. But, again, they’re able to maintain their friendship while realizing that they might have something *special*. That’s probably why all of the playful flirting manifested this year.

2022 is where things start to get noticeably blurrier in the platonic/non-platonic department. It’s where I also believe at some point, maybe in the middle of that year, before or very early on in the Maniac Tour, is when they started something.

#minsung

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sirsirgirl · 2 months

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Husband Thief will be out on April 4th. Let's dive into the prologue...

PS: The new novel might not be related to Men of the harem at all, but mostly everything I post and discuss about is, so please keep in mind that this analysis supports the theory that this work will be a spin-off, and take everything with a grain of salt. Sorry if I'm bias! 1. Why is the title relevant?

Husband thief or Husband stealer. Among all the words we can link Latil to, "husband", must be one of the most frequent ones. She ended having eight husbands after all.

But what about the title in itself? See, the term, reminds me a lot of another, "man stealer", which is sadly used to call a person -usually a woman- who takes a man away from his partner. Regardless of how awful that term sounds, it could have something to do with Latil. The question isn’t how, it’s who, who could claim Latil has taken away her man/ husband from her?

In fact, there are two women who come to my mind: Domis and Arital.

You know what's something that was never clear to me? Carlein and Girgol always acted like they were so sure that Latil was indeed the reincarnation of their past lovers, to the point that I became intrigued of what would happen if she wasn’t? 2. The secrets behind the cover.

A woman that looks very similar to Latil stands-out for her pale skin, with flowers in her hair, and a ring in her finger that connects her to someone by a thorny trail. What appears to be male hand is behind holding her shoulder. The eyes and the skin

The eyes look amber, and Latil's are dark brown. But it actually isn’t illogical to consider a change of tone in the midst of her slow awakening process. The pale skin and lips also give her a vampirical appareance, which could too be indicative of this transformation. The hair

Eight roses adorn her hair. Eight, just like the number of consorts Latil has. This wouldn’t be the first time they use roses to represent each one of her husbands. Remember that one panel for the second season promo? She’s in the throne and many hands are offering roses to her. If you look closely, you'll also notice how seven of these roses are turning white. This, I believe, is a way of representing a fading love. Roses turn white when they burn, just like ashes. Ashes of love.

The ring and the thorny trail

I believe these are the most evident symbols. The ring is strategically placed in the marriage finger, which is highly related to the nupcial theme. But the thorny trail reminds me of the red thread theory and the thread of fate.

This could be representing the painful fate that every Lord is submitted to in his or her life. It could also mean that whoever the red thread is connecting her to, that love will be full of challenging and hurtful steps. The hand

The hand behind her is the most confusing of all the elements. We can see a ring in the hand that could indicate that is one of her husbands, but I don't know if it's shown in a positive or negative light. So I'll save my opinions for later.

3. What are they showing us in the extracts?

At first sight, some might think the pre-release isn’t telling us much, but I disagree.

"Your marriage, it's ruined once again."

The opening line is so important. Not only is it hinted that this person's could have been married before, but we can also guess that marriage ended terribly for them at least once. I can see this being related to Latil, not primarily because of the harem, but because of her alleged past-lives... For instance, Arital warned her about having children since her marriage and family had been ruined by fate before.

I want to take a moment to point out that, in my opinion, Arital is the turning point of this theory. Where do I start?

"Can I tell you something for the last time? Do you know what was the worst thing that ever happened to me? Loving you."

When I read this, I immediately thought about the concept of unrequited love, and in the beginning it seemed like the only two consorts who fit perfectly in my idea of it were Sonnaught and Guesta.

Sonnaught lost his feelings once and deeply regretted falling in love with Latil at the time. Guesta, on the other hand, isn't afraid to show his true colors in front her anymore, he allows himself to be angry when he is. So it wouldn't be surprising if any of them ever say this, right?

However, that's when the third paragraph called my attention.

"Her face was reflected in the pupils of those blue eyes."

The only consort we know who has blue eyes is Klein. If these lines are truly about the same person, then this one discards anyone who isn't him. Okay, I can't imagine him acting like this, but I guess it's not impossible. Unless... there's someone else.

Yup, I admit I didn't pay enough attention to the second paragraph, but having already reread it a few times, there's something I can't ignore.

Their hands, which were never close together before, were now desperate to push each other away.

Not even think about Latil's husbands. Imagine we aren't considering the spin-off option. Imagine we believe exactly what's apparent: There's a ML who has blue eyes, he's married to the FL and they're on the verge of dying together.

How come, I repeat, HOW COME a man who's been married to the FL never had his hands near hers? Yeah, definitely, this could be just a weird wording, but something there didn't sit quite right. So I put my memory to work... and yes there's someone: The chairman.

The Chairman, a beautiful blue-eyed elf who fall in love with his great friend, Arital. He witnessed her and Girgol's marriage fall, and not only that, he's tried to kill Latil in the past to free the soul of his lost love from the terrible course set by fate. Time is also very relevant to his character, because he's lived a long time, long enough that he's seen many Lords come and go.

For all of this, I believe the extract is showing us the Chairman's last attempt to kill Latil and get rid of the course.

Now, I can't help but remember how I couldn't really understand why the Chairman, Arital, Sell and Girgol were mentioned so much in the side stories. And maybe this was the reason, maybe Alphatart wanted to set the ground to have them shine in her next work.

Anyways. This, friends, is my theory. Enjoy!

Sincerely,

Gobi

#men of the harem #emperor latil #latrasil tarium #moth spoilers #husband thief #guesta rhodes

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