#everything she feels about him is super intense: respect. adoration. loyalty

[ephemeralove]

(o・・o)/

(Strangely enough, his is not the first page in her journal. It comes after not only Kris, but Rody, Luke, and Gordin -- all of the original members of the Seventh Platoon (chronology separates Cecille from the others), as though she had been putting off writing it as long as she could. As with Kris, the page has turned soft at the corners, though it retains more of its original crispness toward the middle. It gives the impression of a page looked at often, but with great care.)

Marth Marius Lowell. 19. January 21st. Prince of Altea. King of the United Kingdom of Archanea

(Then, made to fit between this and the rest of the page:)

He and Kris are attending The Officer's Academy in Fódlan. Summer... Blue Lions

Hero of the War of Shadows. Slayed the Shadow Dragon and the Dark Pontifex. Has a great number of allies, including Emperor Hardin and Empress Nyna. Supposedly adept with the sword and quick on his feet. Known for bringing friend and foe alike beneath his banner.

(Beneath this is a great mess of ink; under the light, there are many slight grooves in the paper's surface and some warping at odd points here and there, indicative of some blotting and words very ferociously scratched out. Some grooves are jagged, but most are crisp and in line with the box she drew later to cover up the words more cleanly. Some other, smaller blots nearby only just spill past the edges. If you happened to be someone who knew your knight well, you might just be able to imagine her panic at how 'unsightly' the great mass of dark ink looks on the page, judging by the way she tried to 'save' it by attempting to turn it into a cute cat. Unfortunately, it is still very obviously only a cat-shaped box, and a mildly ugly one at that. Its fluffy tail devolves into a despondent squiggle at the end -- a poignant conclusion to a harrowing tale of a girl who tried and failed to cross something out in pen.)

Haven't gotten to meet him. Well-spoken from afar. Well-liked. The people in his service are kind. Met him today. Just as well-spoken as he appears. Kind. Reassuring. Asked us to become royal guards. Somehow gained his trust... ...Kris was really happy. Together... ...I don't want our training to end.

(The next line is written a bit heavily, though for once the writing is immaculate, bereft of any inkblots and the hesitation that portended them; it is clear she took great care to write it well.)

"Until now, you've only followed orders, never thinking for yourself. But that's going to change now. You will think for yourself, and find your own answer. That is my punishment to you." Atone with my life, not my death.

(Following this, as seems to be the norm for her journal nowadays, she has made note of various things. Predictably there are likes and dislikes, as well as gift ideas... but if one were to turn the page, they might find a smattering of ideas humbly scrawled toward a bottom corner of its back-- chief among them being simply the word 'tactician?')

ミ★

Similarly to Kris, Marth is a singular existence to Katarina as well (it's almost like those guys are two halves of the same whole or smth...crazy), though he occupies a much different place in her heart. There's a part of her that essentially reveres him for not only allowing her to live, but forgiving her and welcoming her back home after everything. Not only this, but he has always held fast to his ideals, has always stood for what he believes is right, and treats others with such kindness and empathy -- in many ways he is a paragon of the person she wishes she could have been. Most importantly of all, however, is the punishment he gave to her. That was the point in which she knew he understood her and wanted the best for her. He understood her, accepted and forgave her, but he did not absolve her of her sins. She recognizes full well that his punishment was delivered in such a way that she might grow, and it touches her more than she can put into words.

Her loyalty to him is absolute -- unbreakable (ironic as that may sound). Part of this is because in some ways, he's the means through which she acts out her atonement: the person he is to the world is precious and irreplaceable, just as his ideals guide those around him to be better people, and guide the people of Archanea as a whole toward light, toward hope. He is fair, kind, and just, and never misplaces his heart. For this alone he is exceedingly worthy of her respect and fealty, but the other part is that... well, he's her friend. Err... Sort of. Never in a hundred thousand billion trillion years would she ever dare to say that because how dare she! But for what it's worth, he really is. He is one of the first people she thinks of in all things not because he's her liege, but because he notices the small things about her and knows when to mark them with worry or with a smile; because he teases her sometimes, and though she panics so easily and never knows how to react, it makes her happy that he does; because he is kind and good to her; because he and his Altea are her home.

She adores him and does her best to protect him and his ideals, though her vision of protecting him involves taking on the more painful or unsavory burdens if she must. It might be ironic or just downright foolish, but she would make use of all the worst parts of herself to cut away even just a few thorns from his path; she can rest easy in this conviction because she knows he is the sort of person who would never ask her to. And that's why she would.

He's also notably pretty much the only person aside from Kris that she might truly relax around, though that takes a little more work as she's rather conscious of their stations and always does her utmost to afford him the proper respect. (She is opening up more to people such as Caeda and Kurthnaga of late though!) [waves my hand] All those typical knightly factors definitely come into play, but in the end, she's very attached to the way their relationship is now, which is definitely, absolutely not akin to a friendship. >vo)v

[purplecraze]

Fugo how do you think your life would be if you date each member of your little group you have like in different timelines

“uh...mmm. It's a bit weird to think of it like that. I love them a lot, but not in the way how I'd want to date them, I think... doubt any of them would really be up for it, either. Mun has-....” He stares at Umi for a while, looking like he could have known she'd go haywhire over romance talk. “....-a lot. To say about it, though. The floor is yours...”

(ooooooohhhhh!!!! *screams of the rooftops* OOOOOOOOHHHH!!! welcome to golden territory!! FugoXeveryone, oh hell yeah!! (just doing the canons for now))

Bucciarati Bucciarati and Fugo would be an absolute power team, they’d be communicating in a way that’s bringing up speculations on whether they’re actually telepathic. They just naturally feel what the other needs at the moment. Long private strategy sessions, spinning around each other and closing in, that end up in shy hand-holding and kissing. Bucciarati always waits for Fugo to initiate it, to be sure he's fine and ready for it. He's very careful with him. Bucciarati knows how to handle Fugo’s self-destructive tendencies well, without making him feel less or like he’s a trouble to his elder. The problem with them though, is that Fugo would put Bucciarati on too much of a pedestal and would lose sight of Bucciarati’s weaknesses. And that’s not a topic Bucciarati would address. But it would take a toll on their relationship without a doubt. In turn, Fugo would brood in silence over how super social Bucciarati is. He’d easily feel neglected. And there’s the hurdle of transferring from high admiration to equal lovers. will there ever come a time where they’ll be on first name basis? probably not... The one time, Fugo muttered ‘Bruno’ in a small voice and Bucciarati replied with ‘yes, Pannacotta?’ it was just so horribly awkward, it never happened again, EVER. Would it last? Yes. But only in the sense that neither would admit on giving up. they both would be running into complications on it, it wouldn’t make them very happy, but they'd be content enough.

Abbacchio This would work well. Fugo is one of the few Abba can hold a decent conversation with. Fugo wouldn’t condemn him for the saltmine coming loose once they get to deep conversations. Abbacchio isn’t exactly booksmart, so he can’t always keep up with ‘what’s this brat spewing on about now?’, but he loves to just sit and listen to Fugo going on and on about this tidbit of historical knowledge he found. Abbacchio is the best person to handle Fugo’s tantrums. ‘no, not now, think with your head *slap against the back of Fugo’s head*’, his tactic is diversion. just force Fugo to completely focus on something different and the topic of his anger will evaporate. Fugo would bring out the caring side of Abbacchio, without it turning absolutely one sided. Fugo would hear Abbacchio out on his troubles too, without getting pushy on it. he does, however, tend to say a bit too much. he won’t catch on to the moments where he’s supposed to just shut up and hold the other. Would it last? no, not at all. the very instant the both of them get too comfortable, they’ll be like ‘okay, this lasted long enough, let’s not.’ because why would you NOT destroy happiness with your own two hands, in stead of waiting for it to crash and burn??

Mista Oh geez, this would be one hot mess of a dumpster fire! It’s a ride Fugo NEVER AGREED to be in, but that doesn’t mean it’s not enjoyable. Mista just drags him along like a puppy, saying ‘c’mon, we’re going to have a great time!’ Mista would show him off. everyone needs to know this beauty is his ✨boyfriend✨. even though Mista tends to be flirty, he is super loyal to him. the moment Fugo would as much as make a sound over Mista talking to someone, he’d be like ‘don’t be mad Pannacotta, you know I only have eyes for you~’ It’s wild and intense and overwhelming. Fugo would not quite come to his right in it and it would get kind of suffocating for him on the long run. Guido doesn’t know how to respect boundaries either. Fugo would start fights, one-sidedly, a lot. both in words and fists. Mista wouldn’t easily be taken aback on any of it, though. Almost patronizing, he’d reply like ‘okay well, you do you...’ and take very little of the criticism. Then there’s the entire tetraphobia matter. Fugo would often lose his patience on it. But he’d also try his hardest to be helpful on it. He would look up on the phobia, it’s origin and how to deal with it. He would tell him it’s not an uncommon superstition and throw the theory behind it. Mista doesn’t usually get it. But when Mista’s having anxiety over it, Fugo doesn’t question its bizarrity and searches for ways to snap him out of it by making the topic either 3 or 5. usually 3. because destroying stuff is easy. Would it last? not a chance. Fugo gets mean on break-up. in particularly heated arguments, he’d be the kind of petty asshole who would take every book, text, dictionary around the house and HIGHLIGHT 4 letter words. ALL OF THEM They’re in the type of relationship that goes horribly wrong after a month, but they forgot that happened like half a year later and try again, failing miserably once, twice, 10 times more.

Giorno His relationship with Giorno is a strange one. The events of Man in the Mirror had Fugo starstruck and he thought very fondly of him since. But it came to crash and burn down when he found that he was the mastermind behind usurping the boss. Fugo loathes himself for the decision he made at that day, but a large part of that hate is to prevent himself from blaming either Bucciarati or Giorno. Because he knows Giorno is dangerous if he wants to. All the more as his new boss. At the end of Purple Haze Feedback, they have a very beautiful conversation and Fugo swears loyalty to him. It was the only way for him to move on after everything that happened. But they were also very sincere and shared memories that others wouldn't understand. He's also the only one who ever called him Giogio. They connect well and Fugo is very reliable. Giorno trusts him blindly and appreciates his criticism. Over time Fugo will grow bolder and says what's on his mind, knowing Giogio will take his shit and filter it well enough. Any initiative will have to come from Giorno's side, though. Fugo often feels like it's not his place to do so. But I don't think Fugo would ever forget that it had been Giorno who initiated the plan that had led to his friends' deaths. Forgive, yes absolutely. But not forget. Would it last? 50/50. there are 2 outcomes: they either spend the rest of their lives together, or Fugo ends up killing him. And I think Giorno would have peace with that.

Narancia Oh geez, where do I even start? They're not perfect, not at all. They fight and argue and it's led to many MANY bruises on both sides. But that's just how they are and if you'd ask either of them, they would be ready to die for the other without a shred of doubt at any given time. As much as they fight, there's also a lot of adoration from both sides. Fugo doesn't even have to try, to see stars of admiration in Narancia's eyes. It fills him with pride and makes him feel so good about himself. Narancia needs to work hard for Fugo's approval. but because of that, it makes actually getting it so much worth it. Both of them get horribly giddy on impressing the other.  A new dance, a fun date plan, a mastermind prank. The most important part for both of them is their honesty. Narancia knows that Fugo would never lie to him or hide the truth, like how his father and old friends had. And Fugo can trust that he can say whatever he want, even without filter. They can both rest assured that no matter how big their fights are, the day ends with kissing either way. A part of Fugo wants to better himself for the other's sake, but it weights him down as well, thinking he's not good enough. Narancia isn't the brightest, but his abundance of empathy and sincerity knows how to hit Fugo just right into believing he's good as he is for today. And if not that, Nara reminds him that he's not a saint either. They’d find happiness in a lot of little things. getting to snuggle for 5 more minutes, welcoming the other home, cooking for the other, singing along to the radio, doing the dishes. all those mundane moments are really precious to them. Would it last? Definitely. They'd have some bumpy rides, but neither of them could ever get bored of the other.

Trish The start of their relationship would be so incredibly AWKWARD. They both have no clue what to say and Fugo feels hella uncomfortable. But bit by bit, they start to warm up to one another. Fugo wouldn't want to involve her in any more mafia business. But for Trish, that week together is a fond and priceless memory. She'd want to know what went through his mind when he was left behind. And both of them would want to apologize. Want to start anew. And would want to get to really REALLY know one another. Fugo's anger is just..... it doesn't exist around Trish. She is super calm and soothing and just knows how to convey a certain energy to him which puts him at ease. Both of them don't like to be touched, so they're very careful with one another, asking permission, asking if the other is alright. They both really love music and share their favorite songs. She sings them as he plays the piano. And when the shyness slowly melts away, they both find that the other is super fun to be with. Dumb jokes, running jokes, ironic quoting, shitty puns. They both hadn't ever expected the other to be so entertaining. They learn new things on one another every day. And they try to improve, learn new skills. Trish would want to pick up on baking, Fugo would pick up on girls' fashion, doing her hair or her nails. Would it last? Yes, I think it would. They need time to heal and feel at ease, but I think they could really find peace and a new life in one another. I think Fugo could even come to love her enough to pop the question~)

[professorspork]

ANOTHER BUSY DAY IN THE ANDROMEDA GALAXY

I started the day running errands on Havarl, culminating with finishing off Jaal’s loyalty mission! I took Vetra with us thinking ‘hey, if anyone knows sibling dynamics...’ but then she factored into all of that absolutely 0%, lol @ me. but no matter! Jaal was super flirty as we made our way to the Forge, and it was adorable when he was like “HERE MEET MY FRIEND SO YOU CAN SEE AKKSUL IS WRONG” and bodily dragged me toward his siblings. their fight was absorbing and intense; I LEGIT GASPED WHEN HIS SISTER SHOT HIS BROTHER. LIKE!! the whole confrontation with Akksul felt super weighty and I really enjoyed it-- keeping my trigger discipline to not shoot that dude was really hard! there was a split second there where his bolt was headed toward Jaal’s face and I was like “if I kill off Jaal in his loyalty mission I’ll be so upset” but nope it all worked out, he has a bitchin cheek scar now, and the respect of his people, and I got a forehead touch so y’know. i melted. GOSH. then I died laughing at Akksul’s not-apology email.

now Jaal wants me to meet his mom(s) but Helen said that’ll lock in the romance, so I’ll probably wait just a little longer so I can uh keep having FWB sex with Peebee and ?maybe??? flirt with Vetra at some point? altho I teasingly called her MOM last time we were in Kadara Port so maybe not. (Jaal still hates it there, he’s so grumpy and it’s cute, but I digress)

this one got even longer than usual so doing a cut

one thing that I really like, that the game navigates in interesting ways, is that to the angara, we’re all just “Milky Way people.” like. so much of the original trilogy is about navigating the differences between all these aliens, and like, some of that is here too, esp with the krogan, but it’s actually really neat the way we’ve flattened out. and even with the krogan it’s still night and day-- like. comparing what Tuchanka is like in ME2 when Wrex is still solidifying his status as warlord is miles away from what it’s like for me to wander around New Tuchanka or, especially, just run into random krogan out and about (like the nice water scouts. WHY COULDN’T I JUST GIVE THEM THE WATER? but I’m getting ahead of myself). I know some of it has the Watsonian explanation of, like, only forward-thinking, open-minded krogan would be interested in the Initiative in the first place, and some of it is the Doylist explanation of ‘well people really liked that Charr/Ereba romance so let’s have more sweetie pie krogan’ but like. overall. it’s interesting, and I’m sure there’s more angles I haven’t considered.

I traced more of those comm buoys for Addison and learned that the doctor she’s obsessed with ran away to get pregnant! I definitely read that whole situation as Addison being in love with this lady and tbh it still doesn’t refute it? but I won’t get any more progress until I make a new outpost. the whole idea of ‘the first human baby born in Heleus’ thing is really cool, though, and I’m invested.

then I went to Elaaden! I feel some kind of way about Lexi diagnosing all of these scavengers with Brain Disease, but I can’t put my finger on it exactly-- other than, I guess, my general discomfort with pathologizing criminality. I was glad she said we couldn’t vaccinate people without their consent, but the whole thing smacks as very... self-conscious on the part of the game creators? like they thought people would say “hey it’s a huge plot hole that the Initiative screened every person before putting them on the arks and yet so many of them do crimes, explain that to me” and they were like “oh yeah shit that makes no sense, it’s not like people faced with the existential crisis of being in a brand new place 600 years away from everything they’ve ever known with no way back and not enough resources and multiple things wanting to kill them might just make desperate, risky choices, that’s not good enough, obviously we need to explain it with BRAIN DISEASE.” come on.

I made it to New Tuchanka, where the postings on the terminals are literally my favorite part of this whole game. THE ONE KROGAN WHO WANTS GINGERBREAD. THE ONE WHO DOESN’T WANT TO FOCUS ON CONS AND SUGGESTS A “PRO-VERSATION.” THE ONE ABOUT THE “PROBLETUNITY” OF MATING SUGGESTING WATCHING KRANTT HARDLY WAIT. THE ONE WHO INVENTED BLOOD RAGE FOR GUN TURRETS. but also, the best one, my favorite one of all: KRANTT THE RAGENING LARP. there is nothing I would not give to play Krantt: The Ragening.

I sort of tripped and fell and decided to finish Drack’s loyalty mission even though I intended to do more Elaaden things first, and that was a blast. Vorn is so presh! and also Drack is my dad so there’s that. I loved that Vorn helped save the day with a poison vegetable, and I love that Kesh pretended not to like the flower he got her. it was like-- okay. real talk, I just spent like 20 minutes trying to find proof that there is, in fact, a scene in parks and rec where someone gives April a friendship bracelet and she pretended to hate it until they threatened to take it back and could not find it ANYWHERE and felt so gaslit until I realized that that scene was not about April at all but Louise Belcher so. GOOD JOB ME. anyway. it was like that. kesh pretending her comm was broken when Tann tried to talk to her is the oldest joke in the book but I laughed anyway. 

and then I TOOK SPENDER DOWN FOR GOOD. I’m a little miffed that neither Kesh nor Tann got to be in on that discussion; like, I recognize he was Addison’s underling but given all the bullshit he pulled with the krogan I especially felt Kesh deserved to be there? at one point there was a dialogue tree where I could either say it was Addison’s fault or Spender’s fault, and I picked the latter because I think they both such but Spender sucks worse, but in hindsight I wish I’d stuck it to Addison more because my dialogue was way too nice. when faced with the choice of jailing or exiling Spender, I picked jail despite my desire to defund Nexus Militia because I was scared if I exiled him he’d just come back as a worse enemy because of all his off-station contacts. when reviewing the choice in the codex, though, it narrativized my choice by saying I imprisoned him knowing he “would never survive life on the run from his former associates.” that wasn’t my assumption at all! quite the opposite! I jailed him thinking he’d start a coup from without if I didn’t, and it’s really interesting to me that the game isn’t framing that as a concern Ryder would have reasonably had. anyway, now Brecka has his job, which is good because Brecka is the best.

before leaving I unlocked my last memory, and SURPRISE MY MOM IS ALIVE. WELL. FOR A GIVEN DEFINITION OF ALIVE. i don’t know why I’m surprised; of course my dad sucked that much. but also, the fact that all of that got nestled in with the reaper ‘reveal’ (if you can call it that) felt... very strange? like. this is such a personal, emotional thing for Ryder. obviously for the player harkening back to the trilogy is supposed to be a gut wrench, and objectively, yes, I can see how the knowledge that they might have narrowly escaped certain death is a big deal, but like. the reapers aren’t HERE. they aren’t relevant. my MOM, on the other hand, is and is, apparently! it’s occurring to me I didn’t even try to find her mis-labeled pod, I was so turned around by all the benefactor stuff after the fact. anyway.

swung by Kadara to get drinks with Drack and had an epic bar fight, and then Lexi p much lectured us both abt it because Drack is like 90% spit and duct tape at this point. him talking about raising Kesh giving him a new lease on life was VERY sweet, tho, and his line about how parents aren’t the finish line, they’re the starting line was very good.

went back to Elaaden, which Jaal called “a big planet” while discussing hunting someone down and AU CONTRAIRE, JAAL, IT IS A MOON. wish I’d had Drack with me when I found Annea’s water because I bet he would have had better dialogue than Cora, but alas. felt very weird giving control of the reservoir to the Nexus, but like. Annea being like “you can’t, this is my emotional support monopoly on a vital natural resource” just wasn’t gonna fly with how I’m playing Ryder. I was gratified to hear the Nexus guy at Paradise say we were giving the water to everyone, including krogan and scavengers, because I 100% did not trust Tann not to overrule him with some shitty call.

then I went to the Remnant ship to stop Morda from making a bomb out of the drive core, and it was all going swimmingly until I traced the signal to that cave inside the flophouse and suddenly my triangle button stopped working, making me unable to activate the console. YIKES. a quick google of the issue tells me that this mission is buggy for a lot of people and reloading from an earlier save tends to help, but I tried that and the issue persisted so I gave up for the evening. hopefully a fresh start tomorrow and time for the ps4 to cool off is all that is required. 

[g-goldenskles]

Made Like Towers - Chapter 1 (preview)

(credit to the original gif maker) 

Summary:

High School AU featuring teenage versions of Juice, Jax, Tara, Opie and Donna.

Audrey Hayes is standoffish, distant and cold - and yet, all Juice wants to do is figure her out. The closer they get, the more he realizes how vibrant her soul is, and just how similar she is to him. Your teenage years can be cruel, but nothing can ever compare to your first love. 1990s

Pairings: Juice/OC, Jax/Tara, Opie/Donna

Rating: T (will have a higher rating in later chapters) 

Genre: Teen Angst, Romance, Slow Burn

Juice gulped. He took a deep breath in and out. Why was he so nervous? It was just a stupid job. A stupid job that he really needed to help his mother and his little sister stay afloat. Not to say that his mother couldn’t handle the basic expenses, her new job meant that they were past welfare and food stamps. But if he could pay for his own things, it’d take a large burden off her. Okay, so maybe that’s why he was nervous. But there were other jobs if he didn’t get this one. That’s when he realized that he was just standing there, staring off into space directly in front of the office door. He shook himself out and knocked once on the door. No response. He knocked again.

“I heard you the first time, hang on a minute!” A woman’s voice called out. She didn’t sound friendly. He hadn’t been expecting a woman, this was a garage after all. Especially not the one that stood before him once the door had swung open. His first thought was that she was a total milf. His second thought was that he was terrified of her. She looked to be in her late thirties, maybe early forties. She wore tight leather pants with a studded belt, a low rise and fitted black t-shirt and combat boots. Her face softened as she looked down at him.

“Hey, sweetheart. You my four o’clock interview?” she asked.

“Juan Ortiz, that’s me.”

She stepped to the side and gestured for him to sit down. “You’re early,” she said, almost as if this were a rare occurrence.

Juice quirked an eyebrow and took a seat on the couch across from her desk. He’d assumed that you were always supposed to show up early for a job interview. The woman made her way back to her desk and shuffled through a stack of paperwork. She hadn’t been prepared at all. Eventually she found what she’d been looking for, a blue folder with the words Teller-Morrow Automotive sprawled across the front.

“Alright,” she said as she adjusted her reading glasses. “You applied for the part-time mechanic gig. Twenty hours a week at thirteen an hour. And you’re-”

“Seventeen,” he said. She shot him a sharp glance, and he immediately regretted finishing her sentence.

She waved her hand and moved right on past it. “You’ve got a reference here from an auto shop in Queens. Pretty far from home, don’t you think?”

“My mom got a job offer that she couldn’t pass up.” He’d been honest, that was the truth. Half of it, at least.

“Ah, so you’re the new kid in town. A little cliché.”

“Uh, I guess,” he replied as he awkwardly fumbled in his seat. He shoved his hands inside the pockets of his hoodie, and then, realizing how unprofessional he looked, straightened himself out.

The woman chuckled. A far cry from her earlier demeanor. “Name’s Gemma,” she said, “we don’t have too many rules around here. Just show up for your scheduled shifts, don’t screw around, and don’t ever, ever, call me ma’am.”

“Yes ma-, Gemma.”

“Already getting the hang of it.”

He massaged the back of his neck. “So, does this mean I got the job?”

She gave him a knowing look, one that he knew he’d see regularly. “You're my son’s age, seem nice enough to me. I don’t think you realize how adorable you are. The question is, can you fix cars or not? This application I’m reading over says that you can.”

“I can fix cars, and bikes too,” he answered promptly. “I’m also good with computers, if you think that’d come in handy,” now he was rambling.

The edges of Gemma’s mouth curved into a smile. She motioned for him to take the blue folder from her desk. Along with his general information, it contained new hire paperwork. “You’ll be starting your senior year in two weeks, right?” she spoke to him as he filled everything out.

“Yeah.”

Her forehead puckered. “Don’t seem too excited about it.”

Why would he be excited? No living, breathing person ever looks back fondly on their years in high school. Being the new kid, as Gemma had put it, didn’t make his predicament any better. In Queens, it was easy. He’d had his clique of no-good troublemakers that he grew up with. Sure, they might’ve spent more time in detention than actual class, but at least he’d never felt like an outcast. California was an entirely different speed than New York. People would walk up and talk to you. Pretend like they gave a damn about your day. It felt fake to him, like a used car salesman’s smile.

People might’ve acted like total assholes in New York, but at least it was real. Juice wasn’t stupid. He knew the majority of Charming High’s student body were spoiled rich kids that wouldn’t give the time of day to some lower-income kid from Queens with no father. And yet, he’d promised his mom that he would try. Be a good example for Gracie.

“It’s just really different out here, you know?”

“No shit, you’re on the other side of the country.”

Juice grinned at her. He appreciated her bluntness, it felt like home. He had a good feeling about Teller-Morrow, and he hadn’t had many of those these days. “You said that your son was my age?” he asked as he turned in the paperwork.

She lifted her chin at the mention of her son, and he could tell from the sparkle in her eyes that he was her pride and joy. “Yeah, that’s why I assumed that you’d be starting school. Should go outside and introduce yourself to the group. Real nice kids, think you’ll get along fine.”

He nodded. Shrugged his shoulders. “It’s Juice, by the way,” he said.

Gemma’s brows drew together, her expression perplexed. “What?”

“My name. I mean, that’s what everyone back home called me.”

“Where’d the hell they get that from?”

“It’s a... long story.”

“I bet it is” -she slapped her palm against the desk- “I think we’re done here. Stop by tomorrow for your schedule.”

“Thanks” -he bit his tongue, fighting off the urge to say ma’am- “I’ll do that.”

 He stood up and debated whether he should shake her hand, and ultimately chose not to. She didn’t strike him as the type of person who’d value the gesture. He’d have to earn her respect through sustained loyalty and service.

He left the office and headed back outside. It didn’t take long for him to spot five kids huddled inside the garage. Two boys had grease smeared all over their white t-shirts and wide grins on their faces. They had a Thunderbird propped up on a hydraulic jack but appeared to be goofing off instead of working on the car. One was blonde and about Juice’s height and build, maybe an inch or two taller. The other one was lankier and towered over him.

The other three were girls. Two of them looked as though they could be sisters with their long, brunette locks. One girl’s facial feature was sharp and sculpted, like Michelangelo had chiseled her out himself. The other girl had softer features, with delicate ears and a button nose.

And the third girl – he didn’t have time to brush his eyes past her as the blonde kid called out to him. “Hey” -he pointed to a medium-sized Dyna super glide- “Is that your bike?” 

“It is,” Juice replied.

“Sweet ride man, what year is it?”

“Ninety-two.”

He threw a sweat rag over his shoulder and sauntered over to Juice. “You the kid that my mom interviewed?”

So, he was Gemma’s son.

“Stopping by tomorrow to pick up my schedule,” Juice answered, all smiles.

The kid intensely studied Juice for a moment, like he was trying to get a read on him. Juice worried that he might’ve come across as being too cocky until the kid loomed closer and extended a hand.

“I’m Jax,” he said. They were nearly at the bench now, and the rest of the group had followed in hot pursuit to examine the new guy.

“Juice.”

Jax nodded and maneuvered his stare towards the Thunderbird, “maybe you can help Ope and I out with this dinosaur,” he said.

“What’s wrong with it?”

With a roll of his eyes, “transmission needs to be rebuilt; owner goes hard on it, he loves that damn car.”

“I can take a look at it tomorrow, can’t promise any miracles though,” Juice said.

The kids took a seat at the bench and one by one, they began to introduce themselves. The lanky guy was Opie. Apparently, he’d had quite the growth-spurt this summer. Everyone agreed that he wasn’t done yet, given the size of his father. The cute, sculpted girl was Tara, and it didn’t take long for Juice to realize that she and Jax were an item. The other girl with the button nose was Donna, and once again, it appeared that she and Opie were joined at the hip.

“You know I’ve got to ask about your accent,” Opie said.

Juice sat down and squared an ankle over one knee. “Queens,” he replied.

Jax cocked his head. “New York? That’s cool.”

“You happy about the move?” Tara asked.

Juice’s brows knitted as he thought over his response. Was he happy? “I hope to be,” he answered honestly.

Tara gave him a toothy smile and nodded her head in understanding.

There was only one girl left, and she’d been relatively quiet throughout the entire exchange. Jax reached behind Tara to poke the shoulder of the aloof girl sitting beside them. “Introduce yourself to Juice,” he pestered.

She jerked her shoulder back and made eye contact with Juice. “Audrey,” was all she said. 

He got a better look at her. She was pretty. Not drop-dead gorgeous. A step above girl-next-door average. Her wavy light brown hair gave way to blonde as it tumbled over her shoulders. He thought that maybe she had blue eyes that reflected gray in the sun. She had on ripped, baggy boyfriend jeans and a short sleeve black top that halted directly above her bellybutton. She hungrily puffed on a cigarette with one hand while the other twirled fingers through her hair.

Audrey. Like Audrey Hepburn. His mom loved her movies. He’d never admit it to a single soul, but he’d enjoyed Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Paul and Holly claimed that they were just friends. It didn’t take long for him to realize that she’d been putting on an act for the world to see, but underneath, the girl had heart...

His thoughts were drifting.

“I like your sneakers,” he said, pointing to Audrey’s checkered vans.

“Thanks,” she replied, dryly.

He could tell that she was anxious. While Jax and Tara were practically making out on the bench next to her, her eyes continuously drifted towards the clock that hung above the entrance to the clubhouse. As the minutes dwindled closer to five, her foot began to tap sporadically against the pavement.

When a black Mustang convertible (it was a cobra; the most expensive model, he noted) pulled up at the corner and honked its horn, a few of his questions were answered. Audrey nearly flinched at the sound and cautiously collected her things. Something seemed to have struck her in that moment. She sifted through her purse and pulled out a piece of gum. After that she sprayed herself with a body mist. She obviously didn’t want whoever was picking her up to know that she’d been smoking.

Her friends immediately narrowed their eyes at the car, like there was an unspoken understanding between them. “I can take you home in the cutlass,” Tara offered.

“I second that,” Donna said.

Audrey shook her head. “It’s okay, he’s already here. Thanks anyway,” she said her goodbyes to Jax and Opie, who both mumbled something under their breath that sounded like see you later. She cut her eyes to Juice. Looked him up and down. And then hurried off.

She did have pale blue eyes littered with specks of gray. Because of course she did, why wouldn’t she?

“She needs to kick that punk to the curb,” Tara said.

“You see her just now; she was totally bugging out,” Donna said.

“Why do we let this shit fly? Addie’s our friend, we should step in,” Opie suggested.

Donna said, with an uneasy shrug, “We can’t tell her who she can and can’t date.”

Jax spat through gritted teeth, “I’m sure as hell about to.”

Juice didn’t know what to think. Was Audrey aware that her friends talked shit about her supposed douchebag of a boyfriend the moment she was out of earshot? Probably. “She seems nice,” he commented. He wasn’t entirely sure if he believed it.

Jax snorted. “You don’t know her that well.”

Gemma appeared from the office like she’d been summoned. “Please don’t tell me that honking came from that son-of-a-bitch Justin’s car,” she called out as she approached them.

Wow. This dude was unpopular at TM.

“Course it did. He’d never step one foot on this lot, because he knows he’d get his shit rocked,” Tara said as she playfully swatted at Jax’s stomach.

“Watch your mouth, young lady,” Gemma warned her. Tara pouted until the older woman’s lips twisted into a wry smile, and then they both laughed.

Gemma’s expression then became stoic, “next time Addie comes by, send her my way,” she said.

“Sure thing, mom,” Jax replied.

Gemma threw a wave of acknowledgement towards Juice before she turned around and walked back to the office.

Donna pulled a hair tie out of her pocket and stuck it in her mouth as she raked her fingers through her tresses, and when she’d pulled enough of it back she fastened it up into a tight ponytail. “I should probably head out to, my parents have been bitching all week that I’m staying out too late,” she said.

Opie let out an exaggerated groan and pulled her closer to him. She giggled as he left soft kisses on her forehead and nose before he leaned down and pecked her lips.

“Won’t you two just get a room already?” Tara teased.

Jax brought a hand down to cup her thigh and husked into her ear, “not a bad idea.”

Tara lightly elbowed Jax and he made an over-dramatic show of falling onto his side and wincing in pain. “Hands off, Teller,” she said in-between laughs.

Jax glanced over at Juice, “we’re not always like this, I swear,” he said.

“Yes, they are,” Opie said.

Tara tilted her head towards Donna, “will you accept a ride home from me?” she asked, throwing the daintiest bit of shade towards Audrey’s earlier refusal.

“Yeah,” Donna replied, “don’t think my folks will be too pleased to hear Ope’s bike drop me off for the third time this week.”

Opie frowned, “I thought they were cool with us?”

Donna gave a slight bob of her head, “they are, they’re just…overprotective sometimes, you know?”

“I get it,” he relented. He placed his hands on either side of her face and gave her a real kiss. Donna hopped off the bench and eyed up Tara, who was attempting to wrestle herself out of Jax’s arms.

Jax brushed his lips against her cheek and let her go. The moment he did, Tara turned right back around and pulled him into a tight hug. They stayed like that for a moment, and she whispered something into his ear. He gripped onto her hand, and as she took a few steps backwards, he extended his arm out to prolong the hold until his fingers inevitably slipped out of hers.

Tara winked and blew him a kiss as Donna waved goodbye, and then the two girls waltzed over to the Cutlass and sped off.

Opie sighed, “Back to the Thunderbird?” he asked.

Jax’s face was a deep shade of crimson, whatever Tara had whispered into his ear had flustered him. “I don’t think I’ve got it in me, man.”

Juice drummed his fingertips against the wooden table. “You guys want to check out the super glide?”

___________________________________

You can read the rest of Chapter 1 at either:

AO3 

FFN

A/N: The title of my blog, ‘Breakfast at Audrey’s’, comes from the line in Chapter 1 ;)

Chapter 2--->

[agentargus]

For the ‘if they had a kid meme’- Parker/Dante and Carter/Giu

Parker/Dante

Name: Aurelia Carleen Jenson, usually goes by “Lia.”

(In addition to being a silly in-joke for me personally—Dante’s FC has a song of the same name, “Aurelia” means “light,” is the name of multiple saints, and is an “A” name for Dante’s mom Ana and Carter’s step-grandma Alessia. “Carleen” is a reference to Kieran, Carter, and Caroline)

Gender: Female

Appearance: A slightly chubbier version of her parents. Has been told that she resembles a Cabbage Patch Kid and she owns it. Wants the confidence to dress like her “aunties” Rae and Amy, but for the current moment, mostly wears a lot of flowy tunics with leggings.

Personality: The sort of hippie nerd who listens to Celtic folk music, makes her own leather armor for LARPing, is obsessed with dragons and wolves, and worships Tolkien. Has a wolf fursona but isn’t a full-on furry. Delights in the fact that she’s part fae and has embraced that aspect of her heritage most.

In terms of the more individualized personality traits, she has a lot of her mother’s more introverted anxiety, which, filtered through her father’s nurturing instincts, makes her the ultimate mom friend, but also makes her worry more than she really should. She’s fun and friendly on the whole, but also really needs her alone time or else she can get a little snippy. As an only child born to two people who sort of glommed onto their siblings for much of their lives, this is a little difficult for her to explain to her parents. As a general rule, she’s at her best when she’s around people who share her interests. She gets very excited whenever her grandpa Kieran offers to teach her about her heritage (Celtic, fae, or both.)

Special talents: Naturally musical, plays the harp and flute. Has always had a rapport with animals—even though she can’t read their thoughts, generally has a pretty good sense of of what they’re thinking. Doesn’t have any particularly dramatic magic or power as far as she knows, but there’s time yet.

Who they like better: it depends on the current moment. She likes her mom better when her dad refuses to stop making terrible dad jokes and she likes her dad better when her mom gets all angsty and grumpy. They’re both a constant source of embarrassment.

Who they take after more: Wants to take after her grandpa Kieran, but probably mostly takes after her uncle Carter.

Personal headcanon: Very much the product of a village raising a child. Even though she only has one biological aunt and one biological uncle, she considers all of her parents friends to be her aunts, uncles, etc. Constantly fluctuates between wishing to be a completely normal human and being convinced she should have been born a proper fairy warrior princess. Kind of a pantheist, kind of an atheist, but very Not Catholic. She thought her dad would be angry when she told him, but he wasn’t. (“Well, that’s a relief. Here I thought you were going to tell me you were a heterosexual.”)

Faceclaim: Bailee Madison

—

Carter/Giuliana—Twins!

Name: Alexandria Joanne “AJ” Jenson-Argenti (an A name for the same reasons Aurelia had one, and a J name for Carter’s Aunt Jo. Also named after Alexander the Great and Joanne of Arc because Giu was like “I want her to be a strong, brave warrior and stuff.”)

Gender: Female

Appearance: Has her mom’s high forehead and her dad’s sculpted cheekbones. Has all of her parents most imposing features, which she’s very proud of. Dyes her hair a new color every few months and is generally kind of a chameleon with her style like her Auntie Houdini. Likes looking “witchy” but her definition of “witchy” can just as easily include Samantha from “Bewitched.” Steals both her parents’ clothes on a regular basis.

Personality: Oozes charisma, which she definitely inherited from Carter, but may or may not be related to being part fae. Outspoken and fun-loving. Definitely a good-time kind of person like her dad, but will cut you if you cross her, like her mom. Drinks her weight in iced tea everyday but tends to avoid alcohol because she ends up being designated driver at all the parties (and there are many, many parties.) Worships her Aunties Rae and Marie every bit as much as her parents do. I think she feels like she has to be loud in order to both compliment and set herself apart from her brother, but it’s also part of her personality.

Special talents: Excellent dancer like her mom, but tends to lean toward more contemporary styles of dance than ballet. Naturally very physically flexible, which could be a mutant thing, or just a natural occurrence. Probably has a little bit of changeling power/fae glamour in her, but hasn’t really looked into it. Likes to do spellwork, but isn’t good at it.

Who they like better: Honestly, probably Carter because she feels more able to talk to him. I think she’s a little scared of her mom, honestly, though she still definitely adores her too. (I see “liking” someone different than “loving” them where family is concerned.)

Who they take after more: Probably Carter in terms of personality, but Giu more in terms of intensity.

Personal headcanon: Despite everything, she considers herself the most normal member of her family, and she’s probably right. Has a poodle-mix puppy named Sparkles who she refers to as her familiar, though Sparkles probably doesn’t have any magical powers besides being cute.

Faceclaim: Ash Costello

—

Name: Lorcan Parker Jenson-Argenti

(Lorcan was the name of a saint and comes from an Irish title given to warriors. An L name for Specter, who was part of the reason Carter was united with his sister. Parker is after Giu and Carter’s favorite lady in the whole world.)

Gender: Male

Appearance: Surprisingly normal and a little frumpy, but in kind of a “too pretty to be fully human” sort of way. Wears lots of too-large polo shirts and pants that could probably pass for pajama bottoms. Tends to avoid wearing shoes whenever possible. Can occasionally be seen with little air plants growing out of his ears.

Personality: Quiet but not shy. Very calculating, like his mom, but in less of a social manipulation/power dynamic sort of way and more in a documenting kind of way. Takes notes on everything, either in his head or on paper. Scary-smart and scary-observant. Always gets good grades, prompting his Grandma Ana to dote on him a little more than her other grandkids. Definitely an introvert and a stereotypical awkward nerd. I think he probably documents things as a way to bridge the social divide he feels like he has with most people, making up for social connections with intellectual ones. He tends to think people only really like him because of the way he looks, which makes him kind of bitter and inclined to test people’s loyalty to him by being weird and seeing how people react. He’s a lot like his mom in that he has a lot of love in his heart, but only to people he deems worthy of it. If it wasn’t for Carter modeling wholesome masculinity from the beginning, he’d probably develop a nice guy complex, but instead, he just keeps a very close-knit circle of the people who he trusts and kind of forgets that other people exist. Like his parents and their respective siblings, he’s absolutely ride-or-die for his sister, despite them having almost nothing in common.

Special talents: Besides definitely having that fairy-beauty, he also got a little bit of nature magic from his dad, primarily related to succulents. (Now if only Uncle Dante would stop making “aloe you vera much” jokes every time he enters the room.)

Who they like better: He adores both of his parents, but I think his mom probably understands him better.

Who they take after: On the surface, definitely his mom, but when he trusts people and feels a little more comfortable being himself, his particular brand of weirdness is a little less creepy like his mom and a little more sort of quirky and endearing like his dad.

Personal headcanon: He’s very close with his Auntie Parker because she understands and sees more good in him than most. Also because Hampton is super good to him. He and AJ have a “twin language,” that they usually use to gossip about just about everyone. They’re quite cheeky when they’re together. He and and his uncle Dante share a love of spiders and insects.

Faceclaim: Gino Pasqualini

[ramblesofadreamerofthestars]

Therapy? In The Final Season of  The 100??

It’s more likely then any of us ever thought??????

Spoilers of course for the 100 7.07

Dr. Eric Jackson said “is anyone going to treat Literally Everyone for the trauma we go through” and had to wait seven seasons before giving up and doing it himself. I fucking love him and I Adore that Madi is getting therapy and that they are CONFRONTING WHAT HAPPENED TO A LITERAL CHILD. Jax read one (1) psychology book and decided he was now a licensed therapist and you know what? good for him. 

Someone....let me at Madi’s wardrobe. Babe looks like she rolled up fresh out of Amity from the Divergent movies and like...killing it but What was the inspiration. I am So Happy she gets to play soccer and have therapy sessions and just be a regular kid for what is apparently, the first time in her entire life. I Miss her and Clarke and i wish Clarke was here to see Madi starting to flourish because that dynamic has been pushed So Far to the side this season and I just miss them. I Love that they finally addressed how fucked up it was putting the flame in Madi’s head i seriously love love love it. yes it was necessary but it was also extremely traumatic and not something a child should have to go through and I’m so happy they talked about it (for at least a moment anyway)

Lindsey Morgan and her team said You get to deal with trauma, and you get to deal with trauma, and you - . No but for real, I was pleasantly surprised with the things that got addressed this episode- The flame, Octavia beating up Bellamy, the beginning of Becho. Not as good as Bardo lore but we take what we can get.

(Also shout out to Ms. Morgan for an incredible directorial debut, what a talented queen) 

I Loved Octavia saying outright how fucked up it was that she beat up her brother It’s been 84 years too many seasons of waiting for it, her growth this season? Incredible. That being said, literally What The Fuck was that comforting scene between her and Echo I’m. “You’re my family too” bitch Where. I understand Octavia trying to comfort someone she knows her brother cares for, and I know that Octavia saw how lost and angry Echo was, and this is just my own thoughts but probably recognized something in Echo that was reminiscent of her when she lost Lincoln, at least in her eyes, but it came out of no where?? These two have Never had a good relationship and while part of it is obviously Octavia’s growth the scene felt a little stilted. 

So. Echo. First thing right off the bat (as always, this should literally be the expectation but for the people in the back) THE ACTORS ARE NOT THEIR CHARACTERS, THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE, AND PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GODS LEARN TO SEPARATE THE TWO. I have so much respect for all the actors and crew who are trying their absolute best and making this show something I look forward to watching.

I had Such high hopes for Echo. And honestly the tiny little rat part of my brain that never lets things go still wants to hope for a satisfying end to the spy’s story. I Want her to reach a point where she can look at herself with clear eyes, and come through to the other side. I Want her to have happy ending where she understands that though loyalty is admirable, there has to be more in your life, that you cannot dedicate yourself to one person entirely. The realistic part of my brain that has watched this fucking show for years knows better. Tasya Teles is doing an excellent job of Echo’s continuing downward spiral, 10/10 choices. But all the lighting and framing and crazy intense gaze do Not bode well for Echo’s sanity and her carving the Azgeda marks into her face was I think the point of “no return”. Which makes me sad, to see this end for the character, but it is a path I can see Echo going down, as much as it sucks.

“We got shaved Bellamy but at what cost” makes me cackle but honestly, I liked the Ring flashback. Setting aside how late it is to be Doing ring flashbacks, I think it was a Very interesting look at Becho. Echo on the ring is so cute sorry not sorry, like I Love seeing that girl happy. Her and Bellamy’s little banter reminded me of their earliest dynamic which I enjoyed seeing because I do think those characters have an interesting relationship. Also, Bellamy using his own experiences of the dangers of blind loyalty to try and help Echo, love to see it but her “it’s not real” right before he kissed her...the implications. They knew what they were doing and I think it was a needed perspective into their relationship because we have barely anything except for people saying things about it which is Not The Same Thing.

Moving On! HOLY SHIT Y’ALL HOPE AND DIYOZA I FUCKING LOVE THEM THE ACTRESSES WERE INCREDIBLE, THE DYNAMIC WAS AMAZING, BEST STORYLINE OF THE  EPISODE BY FAR. I seriously just Loved watching their scenes, their relationship is So Good and I loved them trying to figure out the new dynamics they have to work through and the way they don’t really know how to act around each other in the beginning but at their core they’re still mother and daughter and Hope’s broken “they took my mommy” almost had me in tears seriously These Two Y’all. 

Hope thinks of Dev as her father...I’m soft :’)

I’m tired of Nikki. That’s literally all I want to say about her this episode like I’m so tired of the Sanctum storylines and I just do Not care about her little revenge plot. Nelson joining her side is stupid but he was in a very emotional place at the moment so I Guess. 

Emori tried So Hard to make things better on Sanctum and I want to give her all the things it’s what she deserves what a queen. (Luisa d’Oliveira an actual goddess I’m so happy she got a chance to shine this episode). Memori consistently being cute and domestic af love that for them, seriously these two fit so well together “ besides, you’ve been worshiping me for years” when I tell y’all I screamed. Also I’m not like, super convinced about the Emori is pregnant theory and don’t really know how I feel about it but “maybe it’s the palace life giving you that glow” was a...weird choice of words. 

Sheihedea shut up forever challenge. Seriously why does anyone let him speak?? The bitch is so dramatic when he starts going on his “I can give you want you want” speech just walk away from him?? Like what’s the bitch going to do start yelling after you?? And let everyone know how desperate he is to get people on his side and also that he only has one real strategy of getting people on his side?? I think the fuck not. Honestly though, he has one (1) method of getting people on his side and it’s psychoanalyzing them while they play chess which goes on ForEVER btw (like this post w h o o p s) i’m so tired of him. Murphy calling him on his misogyny was certainly a highlight of the episode though, good for him.

And Finally, that ending though. Wow I’m super shocked that the shepard is Bill Cadogan. What a surprise. Never saw it coming. I thin the ‘plot twist’ still worked ish mostly because everyone fucking forgot about his existence but idk it was what I expected and I just Don’t Care? You have crystal giants outside and you want me to care about some musty ass white man who’s been in the freezer for thousands of years?  

I genuinely thought (because I’m a dumbass) for half a second that the old dude in the freezer coffin was Bellamy because I though Anders was going to do some dramatic reveal of where he was stashing our king and the rage I felt in that split second when I thought they really had the audacity to do that. But no it was just Another Plot we get to explore :)))))

ALRIGHT CLOWNS YOU MADE IT TO THE END SO. HOW ABOUT THAT BELLARKE CRUMB WE GOT. Can’t believe I Still can’t retire my clown makeup, please just Give Them A Break. Ms. Morgan really did that though, the framing close up of Clarke, the Bellarke theme in the background, all the other characters looking right at Clarke as she breaks on the inside ( and holy shit kudos to Ms. Eliza Jane for that scene, the sheer heartbreak and almost feral desperation in one expression was Everything). I know I said I love parallel’s and who does parallels better then them but I feel like the “they do this every year” audio, just let them be together for more then Five minutes without some new crisis blease. 

Next episode will be a prequel (?) set up (?) which will be...interesting. Going to be real honest I don’t really care about the premise but Becca scenes are always a plus. More of the Diyoza women please, Clarke and Octavia deserve to have a (better) moment grieving over Bellamy together thanks, let Miller say more lines, and p l e a s e let Bellamy and Clarke be on screen together soon I miss them. 

Friendship ended with Gabriel now Levitt is my only friend

[everythingchoices]

Those Who Have Built and Broken Us Part One (JakexMC)

Author’s Note: This is part one of my entry for #ChoicesCreates Week 18. Thank you to the super talented @kittenmusicals for hosting this week and the wonderful @hollyashton for everything she does here!

Characters: Jake, Marissa (MC)

Pairing: JakexMC

Word Count: 1360

Book: Endless Summer

Prompt: “We are made of all those who have built and broken us”

Summary: This is set 5 years after the gang is rescued from LaHuerta. Quinn has passed and everyone wants to meet with Jake and Marissa (MC) in Costa Rica. Jake struggles over his feelings for everyone. 

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Jake mumbles to himself, rubbing his smooth face with his open palm as he views himself in the bathroom mirror.

He’s forgotten how strong his jawline is when it’s not disguised under three months worth of facial growth. He knows she prefers her favorite pilot to be clean shaven, hence the mound of dark brown chin hairs amassed at the bottom of the white porcelain sink. Gently he turns the ornate handle to the left, instant hot water quickly rinsing the basin free of the residue left from his shave. He amusingly watches the water slowly circle, creating a mini whirlpool before quickly disappearing down the drain.

It’s amazing how little things like a draining sink bring back instant memories of LaHuerta for Jake. This happens a lot since they were all rescued from their endless summer five years ago. Sometimes when he smells summer BBQs or tailgate cookouts the delicious aromas bring him back there, sitting poolside, watching Raj create mouth watering smells from his hibachi. Raj’s infectious smile and constant upbeat attitude makes that island mercifully more tolerable, more real. He is the one true person, the one genuine human being who never plays games about his feelings or intentions. You always know where Raj stands and Jake admires him mightily for that.

A mention of Hartfeld University in a passing newspaper’s headline or a blurb he skims on Yahoo brings back snapshots in his often liquored mind of Sean and Craig: Captain America and his faithful sidekick. His petty arguments and pissing contests with Sean are often pointless and counterproductive, but they amuse him immensely. He misses the macho, testosterone laden banter and camaraderie he always enjoyed when he was in the military. He misses friendship and male bonding. He misses the feelings of being a part of something. He’ll never admit that to Sean. Or Craig. Craig is just a horse for the group anyways. If something needs to be tackled, smashed, then cursed at, Craig is the man. That always brings a smile to Jake’s face. He’ll do anything for Craig though. .

When he’s forced to watch one of those annoying makeup beauty ads or computer spots before opening an app, the commercials often bring thoughts of Michelle and Zahra. Maybelline always reminds him of a made up movie star. She creates a mask out of her stunning beauty, hiding behind a role, disguising an insecure, lonely girl who longs to be accepted and loved. She masters the art of deflection and defense mechanisms. She doesn’t fool Jake, though. He sees the real Michelle and he wishes he could tell her she’s good enough. That’s not him, however. He will never tell her that.

Zahra always amazes the flyboy with her quick wit and technical mind. Watching her hack systems and bypass circuits and software is like admiring a maestro gracefully stroke the ivory keys of a grand piano, producing a masterpiece that’s pleasing to the senses. He always enjoys his late night drunken conversations with her, each bitching about life and love, sin and good intentions. They never tell anyone about these moments; not even Marissa. This is their secret. He always finds her feisty attitude and warped views attractive. In another time he might entertain the thought of pursuing her more. But he’s already fallen in love with Marissa, and she’s all he wants. Zahra has Craig, and that’s all she wants. Yet Jake occasionally wonders what if, a faint smile usually on his face as he files  thoughts like these away for the next deja vu moment.

Jake can’t help but think of Grace every time he reads a story about Roarke Industries, mainly because of her relationship with Aleister. He didn’t get to know Grace that well during their time on LaHuerta, but he always remembers her smile and the glow in her deep, intense eyes. Especially when Aleister is around her. He respects the fact she tolerates, somehow manages feelings of love, for his spoiled rich ass. To him Grace and Aleister are one in the same. He still misses her all the same.

Jake looks back up, catching his reflection in the mirror. His deep ocean blue eyes have dulled some with age. The small wrinkles gradually forming around the corner of his mouth are small reminders of father time as well. He still considers himself attractive, a catch to the ladies. “This is as good as it gets,” he whispers to his reflection. “But Marissa still adores me,” he adds, a loving beam in his eyes

He adjusts his dogtags around his neck, the metal clanking against his bare chest. The biggest reminder of the strangest and altering time of his life shares this small bungalow with him. They both live discreetly but quietly and comfortably in a nondescript village in southern Costa Rica. Five years later he’s still shocked that she followed him here.  He tries to talk her out of this decision. He tries to remind her she has college, a future ahead of her, a job and kids and a house with a white picket fence. She has all the goals and dreams of a smart, beautiful, brave young woman, goals and dreams that every other person wants to achieve. A life that Jake can never provide, not as a wanted man. “I’m not like other people,” is her response, but Jake already knows this.

Marissa is the first woman to steal his breath, making it difficult to concentrate when he kisses her neck, the smell of strawberries from her silky soft hair overloading his senses, or when she mischievously bites his bottom lip  before releasing a kiss. She’s the first woman to send his stomach in frenzied flip flops when he watches her sleep, barely keeping the urge to caress her dark olive skin or stroke her long chestnut brown hair to himself. She’s the first woman he truly respects and admires. Her loyalty and ferocious, almost obsessive need to help those she loves is so enduring to him.

Somehow she continues to keep in contact with everyone from the island. He’s probably better off not knowing how. Jake really appreciates Marissa communicating with the gang for him. None of them have any idea how much they mean to him. They have no clue how much they helped heal him, how much all of them helped him love and trust again. Especially Marissa. He admires and feels bad for her about Diego. For some reason he stopped all contact with everyone after their rescue. She never complains or speaks poorly of her best friend, even though Jake can tell the absence of her childhood confidant is tearing her up inside, but she never speaks poorly of him. She never gives up in Diego. She never gives up on anyone.

After one last look in the mirror, Jake washes his rough and calloused hands and drives then quickly on the green and yellow hand towel dangling off the metal bar next to the sink. He runs his hands through his shoulder length brown hair, his mind heavy with thought and emotions. When Marissa tells him of Quinn’s passing  a massive lump immediately forms in his throat. His eyes begin to sting as he tries desperately to keep tears from rolling down his cheeks. The smell of chocolate chip cookies usually reminded him of Quinn. She loves to bake and Jake believes it was therapeutic for her. She always saves the first cookie for him, as if that particular cookie is the best of the batch. He doesn’t know why she does this, but it always makes him feel warm, wanted, and thought of. He misses her fiery red hair and childish, innocent smile.  

Marissa is the first woman to make Jake cry. The news of someone’s death, especially someone he cares about like Quinn, is hard for him to process. When Marissa shares with him that everyone he risked his life for on an unknown enchanted island, wants to return the favor and cone see him here for a memorial and a reunion, the pilot breaks down in his girlfriend’s arms.

[thepathsofdestiny]

Logistics

~*~ The love and loyalty among the Phantom Thieves is deep, abiding, and occasionally confusing, which is why they decided to make a chart. The start of my new series, Where The Lines Overlap. Read it on AO3 here.  ~*~ It had been Makoto’s idea. Makoto Niijima was, after all, nothing if not organized. Her time as a college sophomore, preparing to take the law enforcement entrance exam, had taught her that things feel so much more concrete once you write them down. That was true for everything; facts, goals, even relationships. What her sophomore year also taught her was that trying to get eight college students with different schedules together in the same room was a logistical nightmare. Truly, being an adult was complicated. But no more complicated than being in love. 

That was how Makoto came to be standing in the attic at Leblanc with a whiteboard, markers, and one of Yusuke’s easels, aiming to map out hearts that were long since stolen. That is to say, Makoto was writing everyone’s names in a circle around the edge of the board, while all her closest friends chattered and cuddled in clusters around the room. Yusuke and Haru were sitting on a wooden bench, prim, elegant, long-limbed. Akira and Ryuji were by the windows, Ryuji reaching over to spin Futaba around in her new computer chair. Claiming the couch were Ann, radiant as ever, and Shiho, quiet, attentive- her sun and moon. “Alright!” Makoto called out, clapping her hands together for quiet. “Eyes up!” Her voice held as much steel as a soon-to-be police cadet as it did a lifetime ago, as second-in-command of the Phantom Thieves. In an instant, all eyes were on her. “Now then,” Makoto began, “it’s no secret that we’re all very… close… friends. There are some understandings that have gone unspoken for some time, and I think, in the interest of openness and communication-” “She wants to know who we want to fuck!” Ryuji called out from the cheap seats. “Thank you, Ryuji,” Makoto sighed. “What would I do without you.” “That’s what I’m here for,” Ryuji grinned. “Oh, and uh, sorry about the language, Shiho.” Shiho smiled gently. “It’s quite alright.” “Why do you always do that?” Ann asked. “Do what?” “You always apologize for cursing in front of Shiho,” Ann said. “She’s the only one of us you do that to. Why is that?” “I dunno,” Ryuji shrugged. “She’s, like, a lady.” “What does that make us?” Haru giggled, a faux-affronted hand at her chest. “That’s not what I mean,” Ryuji explained. “Cursing in front of Shiho is like, I dunno, cursing in front of my mom.” “Ew!” Ann made a face. “Don’t think about Shiho like-” “No no no, it’s a compliment,” Akira put in quickly. “Ryuji loves his mom.” “I do,” Ryuji nodded. “I’m flattered?” Shiho smiled. “Moving on,” Makoto groaned. Steering a conversation with these dorks was like herding cats- they never go where you want them to, even if they look cute on the way. “Alright. I was thinking we could color-code our relationships. I brought markers-” “Oh!” Yusuke chimed in. “May I see them?” Makoto passed him the pack. Yusuke studied them, a thoughtful hand under his chin, looking as if he were scrutinizing every individual dot of paint in Georges Seurat’s A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte rather than a 500-yen pack of markers. “Not the brand I would have chosen,” Yusuke muttered. “And an odd choice of medium-” “We’re just. Making. A chart.” Makoto seethed. Yusuke blinked up at her, meekly returning the pack. Makoto saw a hand across the room. “Yes, Akira?” “Which color should we do first?” Makoto sighed in gratitude. “...I was thinking we could start with red, for sexual attraction.” “Why didn’t you just start with a red board?” Everyone turned. Futaba was sitting in her computer chair, knees hugged to her chest. “What?!” Futaba said, defensive. “You’re all super hot!” Futaba saw the face Akira was making and rolled her eyes. “Except you, obviously!” “What about the other colors?” Shiho offered gently. Makoto smiled at her, grateful. “I thought we could use blue for emotional intimacy, and yellow, for non-sexual, physical intimacy. Basically for all the cuddlers.” “Oh, we should have started with a yellow board,” Haru mused. “I suppose all my lines will be green, then,” Yusuke said beside her. “Sex is not something I have a vested interest in.” “Hey, aren’t you two living together?” Ann asked. “Oh, yes, Yusuke’s a lovely housemate!” Haru cooed. “We’re both of us tremendously lonely people with no family to speak of, so we fit together quite nicely. He’s a lovely cuddler, and a lovelier person to confide in. And I get to provide for him. I’m glad to cater to his expensive tastes in terms of art supplies, interior decorating…” “...his regular tastes, like eating more than just bean sprouts…” Akira muttered. “I am regularly dismayed at having to turn my attention away from art and towards such base concerns,” Yusuke said. “What, like feeding yourself?” Akira asked. “Aww, that’s cute, though,” Ryuji grinned. “You two are practically married.” “Except they never have sex,” Ann said. “Uh, yeah. So they’re married.” “Guys, if we could focus for just two seconds…” Makoto sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Excuse me.” “Yes, Shiho?” “May I go first?” Makoto smiled. “Yes. Go right ahead.” Shiho rose, taking the pack of markers from Makoto and standing by the board, studying it. “I’m afraid I’m not as deeply involved in this circle as all of you,” Shiho admitted, sheepish. “Certainly not as much as I’d like.” “It’s okay,” Makoto said softly. “The board’s only going to get more crowded from here,” Akira shrugged. “True,” Shiho said. “Now, what were the colors again?” “Red for sexual intimacy, yellow for physical, blue for emotional,” Makoto said. Shiho uncapped the blue marker. “Well, Akira’s always so easy to talk to,” she said, drawing a blue line between her name and his. “And Ryuji can be surprisingly insightful at times…” “Do you have to say ‘surprisingly’?” Ryuji grumbled, as Shiho connected their names in blue. “And, um,” Shiho hesitated, before switching to a green marker. “...I’ve… grown rather fond of you, too, Mako-chan…” Haru gasped. “She calls you-?! Oh no! That’s adorable!” “And Ann…” Shiho smiled, settling on a black marker. “...well. Do I even have to say it?” Shiho drew a black line between their names. Ann ran up and threw her arms around Shiho from behind, Shiho pulling her hand away from the board before the line became a squiggle. “Oh, Shiho!” Ann wailed, full of an aspiring actress’ staged melodrama. “Oh, Ann…” Shiho purred. “Oh, brother,” Makoto said, but she was smiling just the same. She held up the pack of markers. “Who’s next?” ~*~ They took turns adding to the chart, everyone keeping an eye out for black lines, in particular. Some of those, people saw coming- Akira and Ryuji, for example, since after years of tacit understanding Ryuji was finally able to say it out loud. The room grew warm with Ryuji’s embarrassment and the group’s pride in him, although Futaba had to ruin it, wondering how Ryuji outran his feelings for so long on a bum leg. Some of these, people didn’t see coming- for instance, when Haru came up and drew green lines between Akira, Yusuke and herself, yellow lines for almost everyone else… and a single black line, between her and Makoto. “When did this happen?!” Ryuji had blurted out. “A lady doesn’t kiss and tell,” Haru had said, coy. “This whole meeting is us kissing and telling,” Makoto had to remind them. “When does the kissing start?!” Futaba had cut in. Some of the lines, however, needed a little more fuss. Ryuji and Ann, in particular, had stood in front of the whiteboard, scrutinizing it with the same level of intensity as Yusuke had studied the markers. There was a green line between their names, but Ann had the red marker in her hands, capping and uncapping it, wondering. “I mean… does it count?” Ann asked, completely serious. “It was one time,” Ryuji shrugged. “I don’t think it counts.” “Yeah, but…” “Make it black, you cowards!” Futaba called from her seat in the corner. Ann and Ryuji blushed. They looked, first to Shiho and Akira, respectively, then to each other. “W-We’ll talk,” Ryuji said. “Yeah,” Ann said, capping the red marker and tossing it aside. “You poor dears,” Haru teased. “Three years of this back-and-forth,” Yusuke chuckled. “Hey, remember what I said about you two being married?” Ryuji sniped, but he was smiling. By the time Akira stepped up to the board, it was a tangled knot of color. He turned, catching Makoto’s eyes. “Bless this mess, huh?” he asked. “You love it,” Makoto smiled. “I do.” Akira was going last, so by now, everyone should have drawn all the lines connecting to him. By the look in her eyes, Makoto knew it- but she handed him the pack regardless. When Akira stepped away from the board, there was a red line going around the circle of names, linking his name with everyone- Except Futaba. “What?!” Futaba exploded. “HOW COME HE GETS TO FUCK EVERYONE?!” “Dude!” Ryuji cut in. “Watch your fucking language!” Akira smiled a trickster’s smile as the room dissolved into teasing laughter around him. Makoto only handed him some blotting paper and shook her head, smiling. ~*~ Makoto’s ‘meeting’ concluded with a tangled, multicolored jumble on the whiteboard as well as on the attic floor, Akira having unrolled the spare futon as a makeshift carpet. They all huddled together in a pile of intoxicating warmth, chatting, cuddling, poking at their phones, stretching unselfconsciously across each other’s legs. Futaba was in the corner, clicking through the PC she’d built for Akira during his senior year away from Tokyo, which had taken the place of his work desk where he’d once made lockpicks. She was putting together a playlist- or trying to. Uniting the musical tastes of eight college students was almost as difficult as getting them all in one room. Almost. “Hey, shitlord,” Futaba said. “Hm?” Akira looked up from his seat on the floor. Makoto and Ryuji were sprawled across his legs, watching some MMA fight on Ryuji’s phone. “What’s up?” “I need you to head down to the Triple Seven and get some snacks.” “Why?” “Because I’m hungry?” “Fine,” Akira said. “Pass me my wallet?” Futaba reached out her hand, making grabby motions. “Nope. Can’t get it. It’s too far.” Akira sighed and stood up, grabbing his wallet off the computer desk, six inches from Futaba’s hand. He smiled, and thwapped her on the head with it, tossing it back down on the desk. “Brat.” “Bite me.” The stairwell creaked as Sojiro clambered up into the attic, smiling wryly at the cuddle pile on his floor. “What, are you throwing some kind of party up here?” Sojiro muttered. “It’s always a party when Akira’s around, sir,” Ryuji said. “Hmph. Ain’t that right,” Sojiro said. His gaze drifted to the whiteboard. “What’s this?” “Oh!” Makoto got to her feet. “That’s, um… you see, sir…” Sojiro studied the circle of names, linked together in multicolored lines. He frowned. “...This isn’t one of those ‘jelly bracelet’ things, is it?” “No no no no no!” Makoto said quickly. “I mean, it could be, if you weren’t cowards,” Futaba muttered. “Jelly bracelets? Is that some kind of candy?” Shiho wondered, oblivious. “It’s not,” Akira said firmly. “I… Look, it’s none of my business,” Sojiro said, uncomfortable. “Listen, I’m gonna close up shop. Don’t forget to lock up, alright, son?” “I won’t, D-” Akira caught himself, but it was too late. Everyone was looking at him. “Aww!” Haru cooed. “The paperwork hasn’t gone through yet!” Futaba hissed. Akira stuck his hands in his pockets, weathering the teasing. He couldn’t keep the smile from his face. Sojiro cleared his throat. “...You, uh. You kids have fun, alright? But not… too much fun.” “We won’t, sir,” Makoto said. “She’ll make sure of it,” Ann said, clinging to her arm. Makoto playfully swatted her away. Sojiro smiled and shook his head. “You kids…” Sojiro disappeared down the steps. The attic at Leblanc fell into a comfortable, intimate quiet. Ann’s hand closed around Makoto’s wrist, and she let her pull her down onto the floor, she and Shiho nuzzling into her like cats. Haru was coiled up on the futon, not unlike a cat herself, chatting with Yusuke about plans to decorate the house while he sat drawing her, a sketchbook on his lap. Ryuji was sprawled out in the middle of the floor, one hand in Ann’s hair, the other one poking at his phone. He dropped his phone flat on his chest and looked up. Ryuji reached up, grabbed hold of Futaba’s computer chair, and gave her another spin. She laughed as she went around, Akira’s hand smoothing against her hair as she came to a stop. Akira smiled- and wasn’t convinced he had ever stopped smiling, not since he’d returned after a year away from Tokyo, not since he’d come home to this tangled mess of limbs and hearts. He caught Makoto’s eyes across the pile. “It’s good to get everyone together, isn’t it?” Akira said. “Even if it’s like herding cats,” Makoto mused. “Hey,” Ryuji said, his voice breaking the warm quiet. “Now that we’re all here…” Ryuji sat up, suddenly aware everyone was looking at him. He grinned. “...Do you guys want to make out?” There was a pause, and a murmur. Ryuji blinked, not expecting anyone to actually consider it. “Um,” Ann said quietly. “I’d, uh. I’d be down.” Akira snickered. Then his wallet hit him in the face. “Hey!” Futaba said. “I still want those snacks!’ Akira shook his head and smiled, picking his wallet up off the floor and carefully stepping through the tangle of limbs. “Don’t have too much fun while I’m gone,” Akira said. “Makoto, you’re in charge.” “Understood,” Makoto smiled. Akira took one last glimpse at the chart before heading downstairs. It felt strange to say, but he was glad they had taken the time to write it all down. It felt more real that way. More solid. Not any more solid than the party going on in the attic, but still. Scheduling was going to be an issue, he was sure. He technically had a cafe to run. Makoto, Yusuke, Haru, and Shiho were all going to different schools, and into different fields. Futaba was taking online courses, which, along with ‘me time’, meant she was cooped up in her room and unavailable. Ann was an actress, so her schedule was a mess. And Ryuji, well… Ryuji was still figuring things out. Just like they all were, really. Still, after all this time... It was good to get everyone together. ~*~