#everytime i think i’m coming to terms with it i see his face again and break down

[seungisms]

sua’s letter to moonbin: ‘oppa, it's me, your one and only precious sister sua. i came to visit (the memorial) too. i cried so much so i’m going to stop crying now. i’ll smile more now. i’m going to do what I want to and be happy. so, i hope you are going to be happy there. please watch over your sister, if i’m doing well or not. i’ll live diligently for your sake too. don’t stop me. still, if things get hard, i’ll come to you to vent out so you have to comfort me. you’ve worked so hard until now.

i love you so much and i’ll forever be your younger sister. moon siblings forever.’

[haleyrude]

I Feel Safe with You

Pairing: Jake Webber x fem!reader 

Disclaimer: I had this really cute idea of Jade dating someone with the complete opposite when it comes to style and more of a quieter personality. Maybe a couple different videos all together of Jake’s but with my own spice? It’s just some fluff. We’ll see. Enjoy!

Words: 2.4k

Masterlist

5 months of dating Jake Webber and it’s just now that you agreed to partake in one of his youtube videos. The world knows of your relationship with Jake. At first they were not accepting and you understood since a lot of the fans were still hung up on Jake and Tara. Plus your style is very different from Jake. Coquette style is the term you could use to describe your everyday clothes. 

Jake had explained a little bit about the agenda today. You packed a small bag because Jake, Johnnie and you were all going to stay at the Queen Mary. You were not into haunted places but for Jake you’d suck it up. Zipping up your bag you walk to the full length mirror in your bedroom to check your outfit one more time before meeting Jake and Johnnie outside. Today you went with a baby blue bow in your hair. You’re warmer baby blue leggings under a darker shade of blue skirt that connect to the top half of your outfit being the same color. You did decide to put on black combat boots as you noticed that Jack and Johnnie seemed to favor those shoes, usually accompanying their black outfits. It was a bold decision on your part but you think that Jake would like the surprise. Accepting what you were wearing you grab your phone off the charger along with the bag on your bed and head outside locking the door on your way out.

You see the all too familiar Tesla outside and you see Jake leaning outside the car. His eyes lighting up once he sees you “Bunny!” He started calling you bunny after him explaining to you one day that the light colors you always wore reminded him of an innocent little bunny as he put it. His smile is big and you couldn’t help but smile back whenever you see those precious dimples of his. Before anything he wraps his arms around you and you drop your bag to put your arms around his neck and lean up to meet his lips in a kiss. The tiny electric zap you felt everytime you both kissed never left since the first one. He leaned back from the kiss taking you in. “You look beautiful, and I love the shoes” he leans down to get a better look as you chuckle to yourself. “Hey guys we have a video to shoot” you jumped not even realizing Johnnie rolled down his window. Jake took your bag to put in the trunk and you smiled at Johnnie, “I told you that you didn’t have to sit in the back just because I’m here” He rolled his eyes playfully, “Just sit up front, I know you want to be next to your lover boy” You did as he said. Johnnie and you have developed a good relationship since you were always going over to Jake and Johnnie’s place to hang out.

Jake slides into the driver seat putting his seatbelt on and turning his gaze to you, “so here’s the plan’ he held up his finger and pressed record on the camera he had situated on the dashboard of his car. “Hey guys it’s Jake and today I have a very special guest” “ME!” Johnnie puts his hands up and it makes you laugh. “Yes it’s Johnnie, but we also have my girlfriend joining us today in our adventure tonight. It’s going to be a long video so hold onto your horses” you quirked an eyebrow at him after waving to the camera, never hearing that phrase come out of his mouth. “So here’s the plan, we’re going to the store to get snacks and drinks because it’s going to be a long night. We will be staying overnight at the Queen Mary.” “I’m not excited about this,” Johnnie added. “How’re you feeling Bunny?” you couldn’t help the blush on your face knowing that his fans will be watching this. “I’m nervous for sure but it should be fun” Jake started speaking again, “ Alright with that we will see you all at the store” he leaned forward and clicked the button on the camera to stop recording. 

“What music do you want to listen to, Bunny?” you sat with your hands in your lap as you looked over at Jake, his eyes bright, the slight smile that’s always on his face, his sharp jawline, tamed hair and the tattoos on his arms as that’s the only exposed skin you could see. “Whatever Johnnie wants” you smiled sweetly as Johnnie cheered in the back seat. With that, some alternative music played in the background as Jake started driving toward Walmart. It was already dark out so you could only assume it was the Queen Mary you all were staying at and not a hotel. 

At Walmart, Johnnie was holding the camera filming Jake and you as you three went around the store with a cart getting snacks. Jake and Johnnie continuously make you laugh with their ridiculous jokes and comments. In a random aisle as Jake is talking he randomly starts singing ‘Fall for you by secondhand serenade’ you couldn’t help but join in as he was just singing the chorus. When you both stopped singing you looked down blushing slightly not noticing the way Jake looked at you with so much adoration in his eyes, the camera catching everything. While shopping it was the little things Jake did, putting his hand on your back, holding onto your hand and sneaking forehead kisses whenever he could. That’s what you loved about Jake, he was funny and entertaining but he cared with his whole heart. 

After Jake put the snack bags in the trunk, you all got in the car and headed toward the Queen Mary. Your anxiety was getting worse as you got closer and closer to the ship. You’ve never been to the Queen Mary but you heard of it, and saw the video with Sam, Colby and Jake. It never looks so bad behind a screen but you could only imagine what they were actually feeling during the whole thing. Pulling up to it would never prepare you for the feeling of dread that washed over you. The ship is way bigger than you expected and you wish you could back out of the video but you’d never want to disappoint Jake like that. The expression on his face when you agreed to finally be on a video is something that you’ll never forget. Your heart felt so full that day. 

Getting out of the car, Jake waved over someone you couldn’t see until they got closer. Then you realized it was their friend/cameraman. He immediately set everything up and you stood in front of the ship. Jake in the middle of you and Johnnie. The camera started recording and Jake started, “Ok, so as you see, we’re in front of the Queen Mary, one of the most haunted places in the United States.’ Jake stopped talking and said “look behind you” you immediately wrapped your arms around Jake, his arm going around you and started rubbing circles on your arm with his thumb “Oh god what’s there?” It was a man wanting to hear Jake talk about the ship. So he continued talking about different facts about the ship, you still held onto him as he made you feel safe and protected. You three talked about ghosts and then made the journey onto the ship. Refusing to let go of Jake’s hand, you made it to the lobby to get the keys to your room.

Jake held both your bags as you got the keys to the room. Jake and Johnnie kept making jokes to lighten the mood which worked. Your nerves were still all over the place but being with them helped. The ship was absolutely exquisite, carpet lined the floors, polished oak for the walls, not much furniture but still pretty either way. 

The hallways were very creepy and gave you an uneasy feeling. As you all were stopped and the boys were talking to the camera there were footsteps in the background so you all looked toward the noise waiting to see someone walk out and it never happened so you went to investigate but no one was there. Your heart dropped, not seeing anything to explain the footsteps. Continuing on everytime Jake gasped when he saw something you jumped a bit into him ready for something to jump out at you but it was just him wanting to point something out. You took some deep breaths to keep your nerves in check but it was getting worse. Getting to the front of the ship, you couldn’t help but laugh as Jake and Johnnie did the titanic stance. You were on edge, nervous that one of them would fall over the railing but you let them have their fun. Everytime Jake laughed you just wanted to kiss him endlessly as it was a noise you never wanted to stop listening to. 

Going back to the ship you made it to an elevator and a maintenance guy stopped you to explain some things he experienced. The air in the room seemed heavy. Moving on from the elevator you started walking toward the pool area. The cameraman was catching a conversation between you and Johnnie as Jake walked a bit in front of you both. All of a sudden your foot slipped from under you and you hit the floor. Johnnie knelt down to help you up as Jake came over looking concerned. “Bunny, what happened?” After Johnnie helped you up you slid your foot on the ground, “The floor is very slippery, sorry” Jake hugged you, “don’t be sorry, as long as you’re okay.”

Jake suggested visiting the most haunted room in the ship, you really didn’t want to go but you followed regardless. Nothing exciting happened where the room was located and you were grateful. Finally making it toward the room you were all staying in, Jake put the bags on the bed. It was a decent sized room. A room with two twin beds and then one queen bed. There was a lot of space but the room still made you feel some type of way. Johnnie made a joke about Jake and you not being able to keep quiet during the night which made you blush once more. 

Exploring the room, Jake wanted to do a seance with candles. Jake made sure all the doors were closed and then sat down with you and Johnnie lighting the candle. You scooted closer to Jake and he put a hand on your knee making you feel better. You all heard tapping and you grabbed Jake’s hand. The room was dark, the air still heavy, you three closed your eyes as Jake started. “Is anyone here with us?” you followed up “If there’s someone here with us, give us a sign” Johnnie asked a question after and the camera glitched. Once verifying the camera was still working Jake continued with the questions. You heard a few more noises, “Jake I think you have a connection” you whispered as the bathroom door opened. You all jumped, your anxiety was through the roof. All three of you jumped up trying to debunk why the door opened. Jake walked toward the door and closed it once more after checking the bathroom. 

Jake wanted to continue with the seance. Johnnie stated that he was scared to continue. You all took a moment to calm down and then Jake blew out the candle as you all heard a noise by the bathroom so you all got up and stood by the bathroom door. The door once again opened and Jake pushed you behind him as Johnnie backed up. “We’re done” Johnnie said and you couldn’t agree more. The camera was shut off after that. “Hey listen man, I’m not sleeping here” Johnnie looked paler than normal. Jake shook his head in agreement, “Let’s head back home and I’ll end the video there.” 

As soon as you stepped off the Queen Mary you felt like a weight was lifted from you and you were able to breathe lighter. The car ride back to Jake and Johnnie’s was quiet. Jake brought the bags in the house, “Let’s end the video real quick” we followed him to the living room where he lifted the camera. “Ok so we decided that we were not staying at the Queen Mary and went back home. Thanks so much for watching and I’ll see you all soon!” He shut the camera off as Johnnie walked away to his bedroom you assumed. “Bunny’ Jake looked toward you holding your shoulders, ‘did you want to go home or stay with me?” You never slept over Jake’s, though you’ve been over more than a dozen times. You bit your lip and nodded not wanting to stay at your place alone. He smiled lowering to kiss you. It was short and sweet before he went to get your bags and lead you to his room. “You can get changed and I’ll be back in a minute.” He left the room and you changed into a light pink short and t-shirt pajama set. Taking your bow out of your hair and walking to his connecting bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth.

Once finished you walked out seeing Jake shirtless in his bed. You stood there smiling. He patted the spot next to him, “Come here Bunny, I won’t bite unless you ask me too” You chuckled while getting under the covers next to him. He shut his lamp and put his arms around you pulling you closer. You felt safe in Jake's arms, you felt like you were at home. “Thank you for today, I know it was a lot for you but you were gorgeous and did a great job” he kissed the top of your head. “I had fun besides almost peeing myself multiple times” That made him laugh. It was quiet for a moment, “Bunny?” you looked over able to see him now that your eyes have adjusted to the darkness, “Yeah” “I love you” he held you tighter as he waited for a response. You couldn’t help the smile that took over your face, “I love you too” With that you both fell asleep in each other's arms.

[star-girl-05]

The Bet

James Wilson x Reader

He thought there was no way he’d lose, it seemed like a sure thing. That's the only reason he agreed to the terms, he should have known better. Never bet something you're not willing to lose, yet he did and now he has to go to work like this. Gosh House is going to ream him when he sees him. 

“Come on out James” your sing-song tone just made him want to lock himself in the bathroom forever. “Would you stop being a baby its not even that bad I could have made you do something way worse”

You weren't wrong, you could have made him do something long lasting like shaving his head. It was still bad though. He heard you call his name again, he was going to have come out or he’d be late for work. So finally after gathering all his courage he opened the bathroom door. As soon as you saw his face you were laughing. Wilsons' face lights up like a Christmas tree and he's covering his face in hopes you'll stop laughing. 

“Oh James, I’m sorry it's just” you find yourself laughing again “Don’t hide from me James I want to see your pretty face” That just made him want to hide more. He’s been in love with you for almost a year, always dropping hints he's in love with you, yet you never seem to pick up on them. House says it's obvious the two of you like each other but Wilsons isn’t so sure. 

“James” god he loves when you say his name. You pull Wilsons hands away from his face you do your best trying to hold in your laughter. “Wow you look..hm” your eyes study his face or more importantly the glued on mustache that now rests on his upper lip. 

“Don’t, it looks horrible” he was right it was bad he looked much better clean shaven. Though even with the ugly mustache he was still pretty. 

“It’s just for one day” it is true its just one day but Wilson didn’t just have to wear a fake mustache, every time someone asks about said mustache he owes you ten bucks. Easy money since you know every one he talks to today will be focused on it. 

“Maybe but I’ll be paying for weeks” that's true you're going to make quite a profit off today. 

As soon as Wilson enters the hospital eyes are on him even patients that have never seen him give him a funny look. House is the first to say anything, throwing a file on the nurses station and staring at Wilson with his mouth comically open. “Wilson, I think you got something there. ” He gestures at his face. Wilson rolled his eyes today's going to be a long day. 

“It's a really interesting story” you egg on trying to get House to say the golden words. 

“Okay I’ll bite what’s with the fake mustache” Wilson cursed under his breath pulling out his wallet and handing you the first ten of the day. House eyes the exchange getting even more curious about what's going on. “Hold up, what was that?” 

“Me and Wilson made a bet he lost and now everytime someone asks about his mustache he owes me ten bucks, I’ll give you two bucks if you help” House was agreeing instantly, happy to mess with Wilson in any way. Wilson on the other hand was anything but thrilled. He was objecting right away but it fell on deaf ears.  

Wilson spent the rest of his day getting paged to the clinic where patients asked about his mustache. At the end of the day Wilson owed 780 dollars. 

[ravcns]

My God I’m So Lonely

Batfam x batsis!reader

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Jason thought by now everyone would be on speaking terms, they weren’t. Now it was his job to fix that, he felt bad in a way for letting the problem go this far. Jason understood more than anyone your frustrations and if he were you he would never forgive them, except he needed you to. Hypocritical, he knew.

What Jason could think about is the countless occasions this family has failed one another, believing the legacy of that should end here.

You did miss your family, college life was a bitch. Though you did not regret your choice to leave, the actions felt like constant disrespect and you needed to choose a path in life.

Guilt, a strong feeling which was currently eating you as you tried to finish typing your thesis paper. Across the room your roommate spoke up, “y/n keep that up and you’ll get wrinkles.” At this you realized your face had been locked in a scowl for majority of the time that was spent typing, sitting back you stare at pictures of happier moments on the wall.

“Maybe you should visit them.”

“Who?”

“Your family, everytime you come back from lectures you just mindlessly stare at those pictures. It’s normal to be homesick y/n.”

For the rest of the week that one word occupied your thoughts, homesick. When at the manor you were sick of your so called “home”, so this came as a shock to you. Mind going between the fact that you were crazy to even consider it and how eventually you would end up seeing them again. As hurt as you felt it’s not like you could avoid them forever, subconsciously pushing the idea off until you caved.

How does one go about contacting a family with a nonexistent relationship. You could only think about how you were worlds apart from them. Y/n a regular civilian, besides the fact that Bruce Wayne adopted you. Then again “regular” people didn’t have to cling on to the small strings of sanity they had left in big mansions, the walls closing in. “Stop it.” You thought to yourself, there was no pushing this off any longer. For the sake of Alfred who looked a bit more on the sad side last time he visited, you caved.

It was almost like that day. A small child looking up at a big scary castle that would take her pain away, a scared adult looking at the mansion of her rich adoptive father which caused her the very same pain. The place that was supposed to protect you like a princess locked away in the walls of a castle, drove you over the edge.

The sound of you knocking made you cringe at how quiet it was, straightening your spine at the oncoming chills. Upon opening the door you were yanked into a bone crushing hug by Alfred then he led you inside. Damian was one of the first to notice yelling out, “See father I told you l/n would be back!” Then hugging you which confused you since you didn’t think that he liked you, believing that you were below Tim on his list. Slowly the family trickled into the main room. Dick’s face looked older than he was, as if the stress had finally got to him. “I’m sorry.” He whispered as he pulled you into a hug.

Tim and Bruce were discussing something when they walked in, a boyish smile gracing Tim’s features. He too joined in on the hug. At the end of the day you couldn’t hold him at fault for the real problem.

Everyone stepping away when Bruce came over with a relived expression. This time you were the one who hugged him, it would take time to fix things but this was a start.

From the top of the stairs someone watched the display below with a smile. If it were up to him Jason would have locked you all in an escape room.

tags: @yunho-leeknow @twismare @voldieshorts @slowaluminum @bribris-things @awalkingdisasterbi @bubblybrianna 

i tried to tag others but it would only let me tag a few of you and i have no idea why thank you all for reading <3

[enchantinglyjade]

Milk & Honey - Ch. 23

Austin!Elvis x Black!OC

Masterlist

Previous | Next

Summary: Elvis is trying to come to terms with Honey dating again. Honey isn't too fond of it herself

Warning: NSFW 18+ mild sexual activity, dirty talk, swearing, flirting

Song: Do You Love Me - The Contours

Playlist

-

-Elvis POV-

God damn, this woman is driving me crazy. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. I see her everywhere, in everything. I can’t go one minute without thinkin of her and that blonde curly hair. Being near her felt like a little glimpse of heaven, even when she’s mad at me. I’d do sinful things to get a taste of that sweetness, especially if it meant escaping this hell for even a second.

I shake her from my thoughts. Gotta knock this shit off, I got a show comin up soon. Can’t be caught distracted now

I stand in front of the mirror while brushing my teeth. As I bend down to spit, I feel a small arm snake around my waist. Marcella reaches her head around my arm to peek at me through the mirror. “My mom’s wondering when we’re gonna be bringing some grandbabies over to visit her.” She whispers, as she begins to untie my robe.

I rinse the toothbrush off, throwing it over onto a nearby towel. “‘Cella, I just got Charles, can we slow down a sec.” I reply calmly, but feel irritated just looking at her.

She huffs, pulling away to put her hands on her hips. “We’ve been married for how long now, Elvis? You have barely made love to me since the day you put this ring on my finger.” She holds up her hand as if I’d need help realizing which ring she was talkin bout.

I clench my jaw, storming out the bathroom. “I told you, I just ain’t really that type.”

She scoffs, following close behind me. “‘Ain’t that type’? Ain’t that something. It’s cause of her! I’m not as stupid as you think I am.” I sit down on the edge of the bed, rubbing my temple with my hand. Everytime this woman speaks I get a headache. “My father already hasn’t taken the news lightly, so I suggest you finally move on from her to not further upset him.” She crosses her arms, stomping towards the door. I raise my head, just as she opens it. She looks back at me over her shoulder, taking a deep exhale before she speaks. “Look, I’m willing to forget about all this, but I did see a little blue shirt in the window of the boutique downstairs, if you wanna make it up to me. It’s the least you can do after everything.” And with that, she slams the door shut.

Lord, how’d I get myself into this mess.

Later in the day, I get the boys over to talk production, Charles in my bedroom watching TV since I apparently had to watch him for Honey’s…evening talk with an old friend. Things go fine, until I leave the room to grab a cola. On my way back from the fridge, I overhear their conversation.

“Damn she sure is a fine woman though.”

“She’s E.P.’s baby mama if you wanna get in between that.”

“You bet I don’t.”

“The hell you two talkin bout?” The boys go quiet, turning around to look at me, watching as I sit down at the desk in the living room scattered with papers and letters. I scoff at their hesitant faces. “She’s more than just a baby mama.”

“Really? And what would that be?”

I gulp down some of my drink, setting it down frustratedly with a loud clunk. “A good friend.”

“You hear that? She’s a ‘good friend’.”

“Oh, I ain’t got no doubts.”

The boys go back and forth, laughing and clearly having no fear of testing my patience today. “Alright, now all’a’ya put a sock in it, and keep her outta your thoughts ‘fore I have to leave a handprint across your faces.” I glare at each of them in the room, but they only snicker at my attempt to warn them.

Jerry dares to speak up. “Elvis, I’ve known you for years and you never mentioned a- what do you call her? Bumble?” He asks over the edge of his glasses.

“Cause I don’t want to. Now, I need you to go to those shops downstairs and buy a blue shirt in the window.” I say, steering the conversation away from her.

He raises an eyebrow. “Just…a blue shirt? What shirt?”

I rest my elbows on the desk, rubbing my temples roughly. “I don’t know, man. Any fuckin blue shirt you see down there.”

He thinks for a moment, before reluctantly standing from his chair and sliding out the door, following the orders I gave him. Now that that conversation is over, let’s move on to some real business-

“Billy, you said you knew her before right? You got any beans to spill on the whole situation?” Red questions.

I clench my jaw, throwing my head over the back of my chair in annoyance.

“Yeah, he was crazy bout her back in the day. Them two was always sneakin ‘round the cops. He’d even go dancing with her.” He snorts out a laugh until he makes eye contact with me, then his face drops. “Sorry, cous’.”

“See, how come we never heard this?” Joe asks.

“Ain’t easy to talk about.” I respond quietly. “Now can we move on from this topic?”

There’s a knock on the door.

George stands since he’s the closest to the entrance. “Yeah, come on guys. Gotta keep quiet before one of Elvis’ girls shows up.” He taunts with a laugh.

My knuckles turn white, gripping the bottle in my hand. “Girl. I have one.” I demand.

He only chuckles, opening the door to reveal Thomas standing behind it. “Hey, E.P.!” He greets, casually stepping in. He’d been stopping by for the past few days. Ran into him while I was out bringing Marcella shopping down the strip. We had already gotten pretty familiar with each other again before Honey reunited with him. Now I don’t even wanna look at him, just Michael all over again. “I was just wondering if you knew where Honey’s suite was. Supposed to be takin her out, you know.”

The boys amusedly turn to watch my reaction to this. I ain’t gonna give them the satisfaction of blowin up, or actin jealous, or anything childish like that. I have Marcella, and they know that. Ain’t nothin going on between Honey and I. If she wants to date, then-

I guess-

Damnit, it ain’t important right now!

“You know Honey too?” Billy buds in.

Please, Billy. Now ain’t the damn time.

But Thomas smiles at his question. “Yeah! We grew up together, Me, E.P., Honey, and Michael. We all lived in the same town, doin our best to impress her. E.P. and Michael was always fightin over her every time they got the chance. We all had a little crush on her, but I wasn’t bout to get in between them two. Whoo! They was bad.” He chuckles, pointing over towards me. “Glad that’s over.”

I scoff with a smile. “Easy to like the only girl in the whole town.” I add, downplaying incredibly.

Just then, the door knob spins, metal creaking as it opens. Little blonde curls peak through. Honey apologetically smiles as she opens the door further to reveal the rest of her. She has on a red dress, fitting tightly over her body, just like the ones I used to buy for her. Her hair is up, some curls falling over her exposed collarbone and breasts.

The boys laugh at my joke from before, but everyone’s smile disappears upon seeing her. My God, she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

“You sure that was the only reason?” My head snaps back over to Thomas, who’s biting his lip  looking at the exact areas of her body I was. 

“What they got growin in Tupelo?” Sonny whispers with his jaw on the floor.

I could slap each one of ‘em silly right about now.

Her heels clank on the marble floors as she walks over to Thomas. “Sorry if I’m interrupting anything.” She says sweetly.

Thomas stands pathetically quickly. “No, not at all. I was just looking for you actually.”

I can’t watch this no more.

-Honey’s POV-

“So, what are you doin out here with E.P. then? You his stage manager or somethin?”

I chuckle, following beside Thomas as we walk down the strip. “No, no. Just visiting. I used to be a singer too actually.”

His eyes widen. “Really?” He says with a big smile. “I’d love to hear you sing sometime.”

I force out a nervous laugh. “Oh, no. I don’t do that no more. Haven’t in a long time.”

He smacks his lips. “Tsk, don’t be that way. Once a singer, always a singer. You know what,” He stops in his place to face me. “I saw the perfect place the other day for you to sing for me.”

I cross my arms with a grin, anxiously excited by his offer. “Oh, I’m singin for you now?” I raise a brow.

He smirks at me. “Yeah, I wanna see what you got.” He tilts his head to the side. “Come on. Let’s go.” He offers his arm out to me and I gladly take it, following in the direction of whatever place he has on his mind.

We arrive at a club filled with song, drink clanking, and chattering. It’s very casual in its looks, yet somehow still refined and skilled, like its inhabitants are laid back with their excellence. I recognize tunes like these, the clothes they wear, the gently calloused fingers. These are actual musicians. 

A few customers turn to watch us enter, eyeing my dress as we walk by. I cross my arms around my body, feeling inexperienced and overdressed, as though I was trying to excel in looks where I likely lacked in talent. Great, another place to feel like I don’t belong.

I follow Thomas to two seats in front of the bar, where he orders drinks for us.

“So, you come by Michael at all?” He asks as the bartender sets our drinks down in front of us.

I raise my eyebrows, taking a sip. “Oh lord, he’s crazy.”

He laughs, slapping a hand down on his thigh and stirring his drink in the other. “Well, sounds like you have a crazy story to tell. What happened?” He stares at me with a soft, flirtatious squint that almost leaves me flustered, but not quite.

“Tried to make me a real singer and take me to Chicago with him cuse he thought I’d make him big money, but when I told him I didn’t wanna leave Memphis he got real mad. He started throwin a hissy fit and everythin. Real jealous type.” I scoff, taking another sip. 

Thomas wide eyes me. “Damn.” Is all he manages to say, causing both of us to laugh. Saying it out loud for the first time made me realize just how ridiculous that time of my life really was. Kinda miss it though, in a weird way.

I sigh, turning in my chair towards him. “Yeah, turns out he had a lot more on his mind when we were kids than he let on. Elvis was there to see it all, even fought him too. Shit, you shoulda seen his face when Michael and I-”

I pause.

In the corner of my view lies the door. In from the door walks a man in an obnoxiously bright suit with his infamous crew of men behind him.

Speak of the fucking devil.

I should have known this asshole would pull anything and everything to stop this date from happening, yet here I am, shocked and unprepared.

He yanks off his sunglasses, grazing the room, landing on me with an annoyingly knowing grin. I glare deeply into his face, hoping it would be enough to steer him away and back out the door, but he just keeps treading forward.

He opens his arms, reaching out to place them on the backs of our stools. “Hey! What’re you doin here? Heard this joint was busy, but had I known you two would be here, I’d gone another night.”

Oh, I’m sure he would have. I’d hiss at him if I could!

Thomas smiles, reaching for a handshake. “Hey. No problem E.P. Think you’ll like some of the cats in here anyway.”

No problem? This is a big problem!

I have no doubt that Elvis will stop at nothing to embarrass me in front of Thomas. It’s all he’d do as kids and he’s only become more of a menace with age.

“Hey.” I whisper through my teeth to him. “Who’s watching-”

“Marcella.” He answers, already knowing.

Oh, I don’t like that woman being near my baby so much. For all I know, she could be filling his head with lies.

A loud howl of a voice echoes through the microphone causing all of us to turn to the stage.

“Woo! That man ain’t singin, he’s sangin!” Thomas exclaims.

Elvis matches in enthusiasm. “You think that’s impressive, you should see Beale after the sun go down. Woowee, now that’s somethin. He got himself a nice 4 piece up there though.” The bartender hands him over a drink and he sips from it with a concentrated smile.

Jerry and the others sit at a table behind us, watchin the stage as Elvis works his torturous ways.

The song comes to a close. As the band exits backstage, a man walks on, dressed nicely in a suit, smiling wide for the crowd. ‘Alright, I’m back, remindin’ you once again that it is amatuer night, so any one of you is welcome to take the stage, whether you’re Aretha Frankin or just wish you were. Nah, I’m just playin. But if you got vocals, come up and show the locals! Ha ha!”

Elvis lets out a devious hum and I instantly know what I’m about to have to do.

“Honey ever tell you she used to sing?”

Lord.

My heart immediately starts beating faster. I better start picking out a song now while I have the time.

“Yeah, she did. That’s why we came here. Said she’d sing for me.” Thomas looks me up and down in a very flirtatious way.

“Did she now?” Elvis says deeply, looking down at me in my spot. I could have laughed at how upset this whole situation clearly made him, but I’d have to hold it in for now, I have to think quick. He forces a smile on his face. “Well, I think that settles it. Show em what you got, Bumble.” 

I shake my head. “Oh no, I don’t think so.” Oh, I will, but I need to buy more time to think of a perfect song.

Elvis comes close, resting his arm on the bar right in front of my stool. “Go on stage.” He softly commands. “Wanna hear you sing again.” My chest fills with butterflies. Song. What song! I shake my head anxiously, as he grins, waving his arms in the air to get the attention of the man on stage. “Hey! She’ll sing! Right here!” He yells, so the entire audience can turn to look at me.

The man on stage shouts out a ‘woo!’ as he calls me up. I’m gonna be sick. I slide off my chair, but before I can walk towards the front, Elvis grabs my arm. “You’ll be great. You always are.” He whispers. A small chill runs against the sensitive part of my arm. I look down seeing the small silver band wrapped around his finger, cooling my skin. When I look up, I’m met with my two childhood friends, both of which smirking quite lustfully at me. They both think I’m beautiful, and they both know I’m talented. I know a lot more about music than either of them remembered. This fills me with a sense of confidence, all previous thoughts vanishing from my mind. I know a song.

Elvis takes back his hand, leaning against the bar and nodding me towards the stage.

I’ll show him what he walked away from.

The crowd cheers as I walk towards the stage with my head high. I fling my hair over my shoulder, which is contrasting so nicely against the red dress I chose out today. In this moment, I feel more beautiful than I ever did in my 20’s. Maybe it was maturity, maybe it’s because I know Elvis is looking, whatever it is, it has me feeling ready to take on the world. 

The man hands me the mic, but I lower it to speak to the band. I ask them if they knew the song I had in mind. They smile upon hearing the name, causing me to mirror their smile. “Alright, lay me down somethin.” I say into the mic now, facing the crowd. Elvis tips his head to the side in amusement, not expecting me to react this way.

The guitarist begins the first notes of the song. I speak the beginning lyrics, just like the real singer does.

‘You broke my heart

'Cause I couldn't dance

You didn't even want me around’

For a moment, my heart bubbles up with fear seeing how everyone’s eyes are on me, but I easily push it away, knowing that I had what it takes to wow them in the way I always dreamed of doing since I was a little girl.

‘And now I'm back

To let you know

I can really shake 'em down’

There was no time to lose now.

I conjure up all those years of practicing, shouting out the next part just like Michael, the church, and Elvis have tried teaching me to do for years, only just now finally succeeding in doing it right and singing with that power I always strived for.

‘Do you love me?

Now do you love me?

Now that I can dance.’

I parade across the stage doing little dances for the audience members in the front row to enjoy, getting a slight high for their positive reactions, which only helps me continue on.

‘Now tell me baby

Do you like it like this

Tell me

Tell me!

Watch me now, hey!’

I grab the mic stand, twirling my hips in big circles in time with the music, watching carefully over my shoulder at my men of interest. I smile when I see I’ve succeeded in entrancing both of them, and then some. There are a lot more things I can get away with doing now than I could in the 50’s and it’s clearly leaving them speechless.

‘(Work, work)

Ah, shake it up, shake it

(Work, work)

Ah, shake 'em, shake 'em down’

I giggle seductively into the microphone, taking a look in the back to make eye contact with Elvis. His face is in a war, deciding whether to smile in amazement or stare me down for dancing in such a provocative way in front of everyone, which only makes my smile widen further.

I'm working hard baby

Well, you're driving me crazy

And don't you get lazy’

I don’t look back at them for the remaining portion of the song, but when I do, I’m met with the most thrilled pair of eyes. The crowd cheers while I catch my breath, but I can barely hear them over the sound of my beating heart that longed to hear every thought that raced through the mind of one man in particular.

Under the shadows of the club, I catch Thomas mouth an ‘ooo’ with an impressed smile, watching as I walk to them.

“God damn, lil mama. Where the hell’d’you learn all’at?” Elvis asks quietly when I sit back down in front of them.

I shrug. “Just kinda felt it in the moment, I guess.” I giggle, but it fades when I make eye contact with him. The way he was looking at me, Lord, I could pounce on him.

“That was real good, Bumble.” He admits earnestly.

I mutter a quiet thank you, as he sits down at the table next to Billy and Jerry.

“Man, that kid of yours gonna be one hell of a musical genius with a mama like her.” Billy says, patting him on the shoulder.

Thomas eyes Billy with scrunched brows. Suddenly, I feel the need to hold my breath, as if that would stop anything bad from happening. He slowly turns back towards me, still in heavy thought. “Charles…is your baby?” Now he looks at me.

My body stills. “I-uh, I figured you seen the news, was alright with everything.” I’m surprised Elvis didn’t tell him the second he got the chance, he knows information like that could ruin my chances. In fact, why didn’t he tell him?

“You and E.P. had a baby together?” He asks again, just to clarify.

My heart drops. “Yeah. But we aren’t together anymore. Is that…okay…?” It obviously was not okay with him, but I didn’t know what else to say.

His eyes widen. He looks around the club, shaking his head, as if desperately searching for a way out. “Yeah, no- I- Listen, Honey. You’re beautiful and all, but I ain’t lookin to get involved with kids right now. And-”

“No! It’s fine. I’m sorry. I should’ve told you. I’m not mad.”

He makes a reluctant smile at me, but awkwardly stepping off his chair and leaving me there to walk out the front door.

I turn towards the bar, shielding myself away from the rest of the club. A lone tear rolls down my face, but I wipe it away angrily.

God, this is embarrassing. Why am I even crying? I didn’t even really like him, he was just to get back at Elvis. But-...is this how everyone will react? Am I too old to be dating? Will having a kid ruin my chances of finding love again? Will being involved with Elvis make everyone run in fear? Maybe I’m just destined to be alone now. I had one great love affair and that’s all I’ll ever get. I guess most people never even get to experience the love Elvis and I used to have, so I should just be grateful I had it at all.

“You okay, Bumble? Why’d he run off like that?” Elvis asks, taking Thomas’ old chair.

I let out a long, defeated breath. “What do you want?”

“I wanna know that you’re okay.”

I roll my eyes. “Aren’t you happy? Don’t gotta worry about me dating, and you were right, no man even dares to look in my direction, just like you wanted.”

I huff, about to put my old drink to my mouth, but Elvis pulls it from my lips. “Don’t go down that road. Please. I can’t lose you too.” I look into his soft eyes, letting him take the drink from my hand and set it back down on the bar. “But yes, I am very happy.” I scoff out a light chuckle. I hate that he can always make me smile, even when I’m mad at him. He reaches out for my hand. “Come on, let’s get to the car. I’ll bring you back to the hotel.”

I follow him out back, slouching into one of the cars with him.

He sighs. “I really don’t like the idea of raising my boy alongside another man, you know.” He spreads his legs out across the edge of the seat, not scandalously, but welcoming nonetheless.

I cross my arms. I’m not gonna give into my thoughts. “Is that the only reason I’m not allowed to date?”

He scoffs, shaking his head at me and looking out the window. “Ain’t never said you weren’t allowed.” His hand rests on his thigh, patting down on it. If I didn’t know any better I’d say he was taunting me over, unless that was my own heat talking.

I lean up in my seat, eyes glossing over him. Thomas or not, it’s supposed to be me teasing him. He’s supposed to be under my spell tonight, not the other way around. I reach behind me to push up the car’s partition, which catches his immediate attention. “So tell me right now, Elvis.” I gently push myself towards him, shimmying up my dress enough that I’m able to straddle his legs. He instinctively grabs my hips to ground me against him as we drive over a bump, which only results in me bouncing in his lap in a tortuous way for the both of us. “Tell me, ‘Honey, I’m perfectly okay seein you with another man.’” I whisper into his ear.

And here I thought all the childish bullshit games stopped after Michael. Guess we still have a little zest left in us.

He lets out a guttural groan, throwing his head back against the seat. “Bumble, don’t start this with me.”

I ghost my lips over his neck, purposely making an effort not to directly touch him. My warm breath glides down his skin, causing his hairs to raise. His grip on me tightens, making my body shiver, wanting so desperately to give in.

Those feelings are never gonna go away no matter how hard I try, there was little to no point in running any longer. I’m sick of pretending like I’m some saint, I wanna know how he really feels.

“Is she as good as me, baby?” It's the first time I’ve reciprocated a nickname for him. He tilts his head back up, looking into my eyes with his dangerously hooded ones. I giggle at his expression, knowing I was teetering over the edge of our respectable boundary. “Do you think about me when you’re with her?” I wouldn’t have had the guts to ask something like this, but I know he does. I know he still thinks of me, because I can’t stop thinking about him. “Do you think about how I used to feel?”

He twitches beneath me, pulling me closer to him. “Shit,” He mutters under his breath. Yeah, he still thinks about me. It takes so much effort not to touch him that I feel on the verge of passing out from exhaustion. “You’re playin a dangerous game and you know it, baby.” He digs his fingers into my thighs, pushing me down into him, but nothing more.

I’m older now, wiser, bolder. If I would have had this same confidence 10 years ago. I would have left him weak to his knees. However, I’ve quickly made a new discovery being with him for just these few weeks. While I’ve grown more assertive, it seems so has he. We have both changed and grown over the past years, but my strength to resist him has not. Instead of surprising him and making him weak with the new me like I thought I’d be able to do, I’m matched with an even more powerful force of lust and seduction than I ever dreamed of him having. As if he wasn’t enough as is, he just keeps getting better.

The car drives over another bump, making my breasts bounce against his chest, while the rest of my body adds pressure to his lap. I crumble into him, allowing myself only to wrap my arms around his neck. He grinds his teeth, closing his eyes to concentrate. 

I shouldn’t give in so easily, but he’s all I have left from my old life, all I have left of my youth. Every time I see him is a reminder of home, a reminder of what should have been.

Just then the car comes to a stop. Before I can get off of him, the door is pried open, shining the blinding garage lights onto us in the otherwise dark car. I quickly push myself off Elvis, exiting the car and giving an apologetic look to Jerry, who thankfully is the one that opened the car door. 

Elvis steps out next to me, straightening himself out. “Jerry, could you see Bumble back to her room, please.” 

Jerry agrees awkwardly, escorting me to the doors. We stay quiet through the hotel lobby, until we get to the privacy of the elevator. “I couldn’t help but notice you still have something going on with E.P, if you don’t mind me asking, cause I don’t dare bother him about it.”

I scoff out a laugh. Was he actually that intimidating to them? I know he’s prone to having a temper, but he’s nothing but a baby around me most the time. Then I remember he’s waiting for an answer. What could I possibly say?

I sigh. “I’ve known him my whole life, Jerry. Shit, I’ve known him longer than his own mama.” Unfortunately, it was true now. “I love him, as a friend, as a lover. I tried to ignore it, but he really does mean the world to me. I only ever wanted him and it should have only been him, but we were too progressive for the times.” I stare blankly into the metal doors of the elevator. “Shoulda been my ring.” I shake my head. “Doesn’t matter anymore.”

The door dings open. 

“Thanks for bringing me up. I got it from here.”

.

.

.

-Taglist-

@tearupmyhead @chouetteschaussettes @il-giardino @theliterarybeldam @re3kin @anangelwhodidntfall @felicityroth @crash-and-cure @mama-pankow @tzillas @wonderlandlovelove @mirandastuckinthe80s @queenslandlover-93 @coconutessential @pumkiinpasties @buckybarnesbitch00000000 @biafbunny @darkestbeforethedawn16 @dollfaceyourfear @adoreyouusugar @hails-schae @spacegh0ul @im-lame-irl @sargspiderbarnes @whisperily @whatawildone @lukasdreamland @carioquisse @kaitaesupremacy @thella @isthlsfate

[shyvioletcat]

Hi @house-of-galathynius​! Am I late? Happy Holidays! I’m your secret Santa and I wrote this little over 11 000 word fic for you. I hope you like it. And yes, there’s a part 2. That’s important information you’ll need for later.

Rowan was nervous.

It had been a good two years since he’d been this committed to a date. Yeah, there had been a few here and there, firsts with no seconds, nothing that wanted to make him look for something meaningful or long term or just  more. And this date… he was very serious about this one.

Meeting Aelin had been by pure chance. He was browsing his local bookstore when she walked in, and the flash of golden hair between the shelves had caught his attention immediately. Then she had come down his aisle and seeing all of her had nearly knocked the breath out of him. Putting it simply she was stunning. If he was going to elaborate he would say she was beautiful, from the unusual hue of her eyes to the delicate features of her face, and the curves of her body that were tastefully shown off in the slacks and blouse she wore were eye catching to say the least. But it was the small polite smile that she gave him that had him enchanted. Rowan had been so distracted by it, by her, that he’d forgotten to return that smile and must have looked like a right bastard with his scowl that seemed to be his deflated expression. He’d brushed it off through his disappointment, he had more important things to worry about whether or not he’d been polite to a stranger. It wasn’t until he got to the register that he had the opportunity to rectify his indirect callousness.

When he had lined up a the register Aelin and been a few people in front of him. He hadn’t paid her any mind and just read of the blurb of the book he had chosen. A commotion had caught his attention when she approached the counter. It turned out that she had forgotten her wallet back at the office, and she was fumbling and flustered and Rowan’s feet were moving before he even had the chance to think things through. He’s offered to pay, she had declined, then he had insisted even though there were five books in her pile. When he added his book to the stack her cheeks had flushed prettily and he’d tapped his card. The person on the counter hadn’t cared less what had happened and just bagged the books and handed them over, but Rowan hd felt like it was a moment of fate.

They didn’t speak again until they were outside, the bag of books swinging from Aelin’s hand.

“Thanks,” she’d said and offered him her hand. “Aelin.”

He’d shaken it. “Rowan.”

“If you can give me your number I can venmo you the money for these. Those were hardbacks, they’re not cheap,” Aelin had said.

Rowan had agreed, put his number in her phone, and walked away without even realising that he’s left his book in the bag. Hell, he didn’t even notice until he got a text from an unknown number with a picture of the book saying I think this belongs to you.

That’s what started it all. Within about half an hour and at least twenty texts later Aelin had suggested they meet up so he could get his book back. Of course Rowan had agreed and over coffee a few days later Rowan decided that he’d very much like to take her out on a date. He didn’t ask her then though, it took him about another week to muster up the courage. She’d said yes.

They texted constantly, Rowan felt like he was a teenager again waiting and hoping that everytime his phone went of that it would be her. A friendship was forming and that first date couldn’t come quick enough. It went just as perfectly as it could have, Aelin’s sharp wit and teasing even better in person. He’d wanted to kiss her that first date, there had been a moment when it seemed like they would. Rowan had been the one to pull back and break the tension of the moment. Because there was one thing Rowan hadn’t told her, and from his experience it was a deal breaker. Because Rowan was a single father, he had a five month old daugher who was the centre of his universe. And there were rules that preventing him from saying anything, at least not yet.

Ivy had been an unexpected joy in Rowan’s life and her safety and comfort became his sole priority. Rowan and his ex had come to agree upon three rules when it came to their situation and dating. At first there had been none, but then Lyria had chosen some not great guys to introduce to Ivy, and they’d set some boundaries. So Rowan would have to wait.

After that first date they had been texting, the frequency picking up and turning more flirtaous. Aelin had asked him to come out with her a few times, on a Saturday or Friday night. Every time it had been when Ivy was with him and he had politely declined and said maybe he’d come next time. What had nearly killed him was those times she had sent him photos of her outfit for the night. Holy gods, she was a sight to behold. He was very quickly running out of patience. So when the stars aligned and they managed to lock in an evening they were both free Rowan had to keep himself from audibly cheering.

Tonight was the night and he was in the process of getting ready. Rowan had just stepped out of the shower when his phone rang, the abrupt and sudden noise almost made him drop his towel. He didn’t need to check the ID to know who it was, the specific tone filled him with trepidation and questions.

“Hi, Lyria,” Rowan said, the phone pressed to his ear as he flicked through the shirts in the wardrobe.

“Hello, I’m going to get straight to the point. I need you to take Ivy tonight,” his ex-girlfriend explained very quickly.

Rowan’s hands froze, hanging over a dove grey button up. “It’s your night.”

“I know, but one of my friend needs me to cover their shift so I’ve swapped with next week,” Lyria said.

“You can’t…” Rowan sighed. “I have plans.”

“What kind of plans?” Lyria almost demanded.

Rowan tried to keep his exasperation to himself. “Does the kind matter?”

“I would say it does, because then we can decide if it’s more important than my job,” Lyria said.

This time Rowan withheld his sigh, knowing it would only piss Lyria off and ruin his chances. “It’s a date.”

She had the audacity to laugh. “Yeah, okay. I’ll be by in 10 to drop her off.”

“I've put this off multiple times, delayed it and rearranged. This isn't fair,” Rowan said, not quite believing the speed in which she had dismissed him. “I’m meant to be there in half an hour.”

“What’s not fair is that you want me to compromise my job just so you can get your dick wet. Which I hope you don't plan to do, because if I haven’t heard about this woman I doubt you've been dating long,” Lyria shot back.

That was true. They’d only had the one date, but they had been texting constantly and she was alluding to their rules. There were three: no mention of Ivy until the second date, the other parent needs to meet the potential partner, and no less than three official dates before the person gets to meet Ivy.

“It’s the second date, and not that it's any of your business but I really like her and this isn’t some fling,” Rowan offered.

He knew Lyria had caught the unspoken insult. A fling, like they had been. Which had resulted in them being tied together forever. They started out casual then convenience had won out. Rowan would never regret Ivy, he loved her too much for that and he had loved her mother for a time. It was just a fact of their situation that Lyria was not the easiest person to co-parent with.

“I guess you’ll just have to reschedule again, if shes as wonderful as you’re making out I’m sure she’ll understand,” Lyria’s voice was dripping with thinly veiled sarcasm.

“Fine,” Rowan said, for the thousandth time putting his daughter first.

“See you soon then,” she replied flatly.

Lyria hung up after that, not bothering with a goodbye. She’d got what she wanted, what more did she need to say. Annoyed and a little sad, Rowan abandoned his nicer clothes and headed to his drawers instead and pulled out a pair of sweatpants and whatever t-shirt his hand landed on. He was checking the state of Ivy’s bedroom when his front door opened. Lyria had a key, of course, but sometimes he wished that she would knock. It always felt like an invasion of his privacy when she let herself in. Hey hadn’t shared a home as a couple since before their Ivy was born, this was his and Ivy’s space, not her’s.

Rowan walked down to where Lyria was waiting for him. She was talking to Ivy and she gave her mother a smile. At least Lyria was dressed for work so he knew she wasn’t lying.

“Thanks for this, I’ll owe you one.” Lyria said.

“Time with our daughter isn’t currency,” Rowan replied.

Lyria’s lips tightened and she looked down at the infant in her arms. “You make it sound like I’m a bad mother.”

“I never said that.”

He never had and never would. Lyria was a good mother, she just knew her own boundaries. Rowan was Ivy’s primary caregiver but he had never begrudged that or the choices Lyria had made for that to happen. It hadn’t been an easy decision for Lyria to come to, Rowan had watched her every step of the way, ready to do what was needed. When Ivy reached about two months old Lyria had come to the realisation that the best home for Ivy wasn’t with her. Rowan had helped as much as he could, he’d all but moved in those first few months. Despite their complicated relationship status, he’d made a promise to be there for his child no matter what. And then due to circumstances beyond her control Lyria knew that Ivy was best off living with her father. It had been a brave thing for her to do.

An awkward silence developed and Rowan took the initiative and apologised. “Sorry, I’m just frustrated.”

“I just have to pay the rent somehow,” Lyria said. “I’m sure if she’s as wonderful as you’re hoping she is she’ll be fine and won’t care if you have to cancel tonight.”

Rowan chose to ignore the sarcasm with a slight edge of bitterness that accompanied the words.

“You’ll be late,” he reminded her, careful not to let any inflection into his voice lest to give away any hint of his irritation.

“You’re right,” Lyria said and lifted Ivy a little higher so that she could see her face. “You have fun with Dad and I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

Ivy smiled and cooed, little voice dipping in a wordless musical pattern. Rowan stepped forward and Lyria kissed their daughter before handing her over. She was delighted, her fists waving in excitement as Rowan held her close to his chest. It made him smile, he couldn’t help it. Ivy was everything to him, it was impossible not to light up when she was with him. The only other person who made him feel anything close to that was Aelin and he was about to cancel on her—again.

“I’ll be by in the morning to pick her up and then I can resume my weekend,” Lyria said, readjusting her handbag.

Because that’s what it was, every second weekend. It was what Rowan had been relying on.

“See you then,” Rowan waved Ivy’s hand goodbye as Lyria left the apartment,

Rowan stared into space for a while, just disappointed and putting off the inevitable task of telling Aelin that he wouldn’t be making it tonight. Blissfully unaware of the wrench that she had thrown into his evening plans Ivy just pulled at the hemmed collar of his t-shirt. He was running out of time, he’d hate himself if Aelin was on her way to the restaurant and he wasn’t. That was one short step away from him standing her up.

He pulled out his phone and saw the time, cursing under his breath. Time to text Aelin was running out fast, there was a high likelihood that she had already left. Hating himself Rowan opened their text thread mentally wording the perfect apology. He’d typed out three words when a text message from Aelin came in.

Aelin ❤️‍🔥: Hey, I swear I’m on my way I just had an outfit mishap and you’ll laugh when I tell you but I’ll be 5 mins maybe 10 late. But I’m coming, I’m not going to miss this.

The message that would ruin both their nights was right on the tip of Rowan’s finger, but then he stopped. Plausibly he could make it. He could still beat Aelin there, he was closer to the restaurant than she was. If he could get himself and Ivy ready in ten minutes that was. Yes, he could do it. He always had a change bag packed and ready to go, he’d just need to get them both dressed and make up a bottle.

Rowan: I had a minor setback myself. I’ll see you there.

Aelin ❤️‍🔥: I’m looking forward to it.

With his determination renewed Rowan went to his bedroom and picked out his outfit in record time. He put Ivy down on the bed, she wasn’t quite able to sit up by herself yet so he laid her down. She was quick to find her feet pulling them up to her chest, trying to bite her toes. Once Rowan was dressed in his jeans and button down shirt he picked Ivy up again and took her to her room. This time he looked in her wardrobe picking out an outfit he knew was cute.

“We want to impress her,” Rowan told his daughter and he laid her down on the change table. “We have to look our best. Because Da is about to break a very important rule, but Aelin is definitely worth it and your mother kind of forced my hand here. I really like her, and I haven’t liked someone like this in a very long time so I need you not only looking your best, but I need your best behaviour. Alright little love?”

Ivy replied with something that sounded like bah, Rowan wasn’t going to hold her to it. Dressed in a little floral onesie and frilly socks Ivy was ready. And they were about to walk out of the room when Rowan saw the basket of bows. He filtered through a couple and chose a simple white one with a lacy band.

“We really have to impress her,” Rowan reaffirmed.

Rowan checked his phone once more before he ran through the final preparations. He prepped a bottle, made one last cheek of the bag making sure there were extra diapers and a change of clothes just in case of emergency. Then he was grabbing his keys, locking the door of his townhouse and packed up the car. Ivy babbled the whole way, watching her own reflection in the mirror he’d attached to the back headrest. This was going well, sometimes Ivy hated the car and screamed and cried te entire trip, making Rowan pull over before they’d reached their destination. But it seemed, despite the rocky beginning, the evening was going well.

Fifteen minutes later Rowan was walking into the restaurant and the waiter sat them down at an empty table. He sat Ivy on his knee, her hands slapping on the table. The rush out the door had kept him distracted and now the nervousness was creeping in. He was taking a big chance here, Aelin could very likely see the baby and turn the other way. He just hoped that she would give him the chance to explain. Ivy blew out a raspberry and Rowan quickly grabbed a burp cloth from the bag and wiped her mouth. She gave a small protest but in the end she grabbed the cloth.

“Alright, I need you to not vomit on this outfit for like another twenty minutes. I know that might be hard but we need to look our best,” Rowan said softly. “This might just be the most important first impression of your life.”

~~~~~

Aelin was late and she hated that she was late. She’d been looking forward to this all week. And she had been ready to go, the door had been right there and she was ready to walk through it. But then she had been touching up her mascara and she’d dropped the applicator brush and it dragged down the front of her dress. The red fabric marred by a smear of black.

Dashing back to her wardrobe she had frantically looked for something that needed the least amount of prep. She settled on an outfit that was probably too dressy for where they were going but she was going for a quick outfit change and she had no doubts about how good this outfit looked. It was a green, satiny number, it went to her mid thigh but was tight enough to tastefully show off the contours of her body. She loved this dress, even more so when she realised it matched Rowan’s eyes.

Aelin stepped into the restaurant and it didn’t take her long to spot Rowan with his unique silvery hair. She gave a quick nod and point to the waiter at the reception and they waved her through. With a deep breath Aelin walked as confidently as she could towards the table as her stomach fluttered with butterflies. She was nervous, the delay making the nerves spike even higher. This thing that was between her and Rowan could really be more than just a passing fling. Sure, most of their relationship was built over phone messages, but what relationship wasn’t theses days? The chemistry that they had on the first date was insane, and they almost had kissed at the end of the night. It had been so close, they’d lent in and given half a heartbeat more Aelin would have close the distance. But then Rowan had kissed her on the cheek and said goodnight, and that was it. She would be lying to say she wasn’t disappointed, and then again she understood. This wasn’t something to be rushed.

Aelin turned the last corner, rounding the table and ready to take her seat across from Rowan. “Sorry I’m late. Wait until I—”

Her feet nearly stumbled over each other with how abruptly she stopped. It was Rowan at the table, but he wasn’t alone. There was a little girl sitting in his lap, she couldn’t be more than six months old. She was a tiny thing, with round chubby cheeks and a headband on her nearly bald head. Aelin had to tear her eyes away from the sheer adorableness of that sight to look at Rowan, who was already looking at her with panic in his eyes.

“Before you say or do anything, please let me explain.” He was begging.

Aelin swallowed, her movements slow as she pulled her chair out and sat down. She was in a trance almost, like the speed and volume of the thoughts in her head were slowing the rest of her down. Rowan looked relieved as she tucked her chair in, hanging her bag on the back of the chair. This was going to be interesting.

“Okay, can I just get this out and then you can ask as many questions as you want?” Rowan asked and Aelin nodded, her fingers twisting themselves in knots under the table. “This Ivy and she’s my daughter. She’s five months old and I’m her primary carer. When my ex found out she was pregnant we’d already broken up and we didn’t get back together when she told me.”

“I see,” Aelin said, ready to ask a thousand other questions but Rowan gave her a look that said just hold on a little longer.

“The reason that I haven’t told you about her yet is that we have some rules around Ivy. Obviously, with the single co-parenting situation we’re free to date other people and we’ve just put some rules around what and when we tell those people about Ivy. It’s usually the third date, I was going to tell you tonight regardless of that because… just because I couldn’t keep it from you anymore. But then this was meant to be my weekend off but Ivy’s mother had to work and she was desperate and so here we are.”

Aelin had to sit there for a moment and just think through what Rowan had said. It was a lot to take in. When she had started pursuing a relationship with Rowan a baby hadn’t been in the picture, that kind of thing was in the imagined future. If Aelin decided Rowan was who she wanted he was going to come with baggage, which was an awful way to describe it. Especially considering the little girl who was now staring up at her, her eyes green eyes wide as they took Aelin in. It was impossible not to smile, and when Aelin did Ivy mirrored it.

“I’m so sorry,” Rowan said, his voicediamyed. “This is not how I wanted this to happen and I understand if you want to go.” There was a pause where he just looked down at Ivy. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”

Those words sent a spark of anger through Aelin. How many other women had dismissed Rowan just because he had taken responsibility for his daughter? Looking at him and the way he seemed to be deflated Aelin could tell this had to be something that troubled him. He was doing the right thing by his daughter, that was obvious even from the limited information that Aelin had right now. And he was kind and funny, he’d made Aelin laugh out loud in the dark as their messages went back and forth late at night when they both should have been sleeping. Aelin had never found it so easy to flirt with a man before, everything with Rowan just came so naturally. How could Aelin judge him and dismiss him after all of that?

“So,” Aelin started but that little world got jumbled in her throat, the look of resignation Rowan gave her might have broken her heart. “You’re a dad?”

Rowan’s demeanour perked up a bit. “Yeah, I am.”

“And Ivy is five months old?” she asked.

“She is,” Rowan replied with a nod.

Aelin reached her hand out over the table, curious about the gesture Ivy wrapped her whole hand around two of Aelin’s fingers.

“Pleased to meet you, Ivy,” Aelin said. “I understand you’ll be gatecrashing our date. I will admit it’s a surprising development, but I am very much looking forward to getting to know you better.”

Withdrawing her hand Aelin looked up at Rowan, who was looking utterly relieved and beyond hopeful. Aelin gave him a coy smile, just wishing she was closer so that she could touch him and reassure him that, for the moment, she wasn’t going anywhere.

“Are you sure about this?” Rowan asked anyway.

Aelin nodded. “Let’s order shall we?”

They made light conversation while they both glanced over the menu, interrupted every now and then by Ivy babbling something, often getting a soft smile from her father in return. Aelin spent more time watching them instead of looking at her menu so when a waiter came to take their order she told Rowan to order his first so she could speed read her options and pick something she hoped she would like. After that a comfortable silence occurred, Rowan looking at her expectantly knowing there were more questions.

“So you and Ivy’s mother weren’t together when…’’ Aelin nodded at Ivy.

“No, it must have happened one of the last times. Things were never strong between us so we didn’t even consider getting back together, but she wanted to keep the baby and I wanted to support her through it,” Rowan said. “Ivy’s become the most precious thing in the world to me.”

That was easy enough to see from the way his face lit up whenever Ivy caught his attention or the way he was so gentle with her.

“And you have custody?” Aelin asked.

This time Rowan took a second to answer. “I don’t have full custody, but Ivy does live with me except for every second weekend. Lyria, my ex, made some difficult decisions and came to the conclusion that the best thing was for Ivy to live with me most of the time. It’s been hard but I don’t think I’ve ever been happier.”

“That’s the sweetest,” Aelin said before she could stop herself and she saw the slight hint of pink flush into Rowan’s cheeks. Who knew a little complement like that could get Rowan Whitethorn blushing.

“I feel bad about not telling you about Ivy, honestly it’s been very hard not to,” Rowan admitted. “I’ve been lying to you and I despise liars.”

“You have to protect your daughter. I’m sure you saw the shock on my face and yeah I am still reeling a little, but you did the right thing and have been honest since,” Aelin said with a shrug.

“I thought you might just turn around and walk away,” Rowan said.

Aelin laughed, albeit a little nervously because that had been one of the many ideas that had run through her mind. “I do love a bit of drama and there was clearly a story behind this.”

“I’m glad it was enough to get you to stay,” Rowan admitted.

“There was that and the fact Ivy is the most adorable child I’ve ever seen,” Aelin teased.

This time the smile Rowangave her was confident. “No need to lay it on, I’m already convinced.”

Aelin cocked her head in question. “Convinced of what?”

Rowan opened his answer but just then Ivy whimpered and as quick as anything Rowan’s attention was diverted. He tapped his phone that was on the table and nodded to himself.

“She’s getting hungry,” he said and reached into the change bag on the chair beside him. One strong hand stayed on Ivy’s tummy to keep her steady as his focus went to the bag. He searched for a while, his brow lowering as time stretched on and Ivy got more irritated. “I think I left her bottle in the car, it must have fallen out of the bag when it tipped or something. I’ll have to run out and get it.”

Just then Ivy… Aelin couldn’t really describe the sound. It was a wail, crossed with a squeak and maybe a hiccup. It made Rowan cringe and he glanced around nervously, conscious of his daughter disrupting other diners. He glanced out once of the windows and then down to Ivy.

“Aelin,” Rowan said her name with a touch of apprehension. “It's cold out and I don’t want to take her out.”

“Hmm?” But then it dawned on her what he was asking. “Oh. Oh, yes. Gimme.”

Rowan's mouth tilted into a poorly concealed smile. “You sure? I don’t want to make you—”

“Rowan, give me the baby. I’ve been waiting for you to offer for the past half hour,” Aelin told him.

“We’ve only been here twenty minutes,” Rowan said.

Aelin reached out across the table, she withheld the grabby gestures with her hands. “Doesn’t matter at this point. I want to hold her.”

“Here, I’ll be as quick as I can,” Rowan said, handing over the baby and leaving the table.

Ivy’s eyes followed him for a while and she looked a little shocked when he disappeared from sight. Then she realised someone else was holding her and her attention shifted. Aelin had her sitting on the edge of the table and at this level they were nearly face to face. This close Aelin could see that the infant’s eyes were green with a small hint of blue. Once Aelin had heard something about baby’s eyes changing colour when they were little and she wondered if Ivy’s eyes might settle on green like her father’s. That would just add to her sheer adorableness.

“Hey there,” Aelin said. “Just so you know, I like your dad. A lot. So you might be seeing me a bit. So, maybe we can be friends. What do you think about that?”

Ivy smiled and cooed, her little hands waving around.

“How dare you be so adorable, because that’s what you are.” Aelin was smiling so hard that her cheeks were hurting. Ivy managed to get hold of a fork, and prongs end up, and it was slowly making its way to her mouth. “Ma’am that’s my fork and I don’t think your father will appreciate you stabbing your gums with it.”

Aelin had said the words softly and sweetly, and had gently pried the fork from her grasp. Despite all that it was enough to make Ivy’s lip pout out and quiver, her eyes were getting glassy.

“Oh no, no no no. Ivy It’s okay,” Aelin tried to sooth her but it didn’t work.

Ivy whimpered and Aelin panicked. She’d been left alone with the baby for five minutes and she was already losing it.

“What did you do to my baby?”

Rowan's voice actually startled her, she had been so focused on figuring out how to make Ivy stop crying that she didn’t know he had snuck up behind her. Aelin looked up to see him smirking playfully at her. How could he be smiling at a time like this?

“I took my fork back and she lost it,” Aelin explained. “I swear that was all of it, I didn’t know it would be such a disaster.”

Rowan put the bottle on the table and picked Ivy back up. “It’s fine, she just gets hangry.”

Aelin laughed and watched as Rowan easily placated his daughter. He kissed her cheeks and whispered things Aelin couldn’t hear. It made her heart flip, if she was attracted to this man before it just skyrocketed to another level.

Rowan sat down again and when Ivy spotted the bottle her limbs kicked out. Her entire focus went to the blue lidded bottle and she was trying her hardest to reach for it. A canister of water appeared next to the bottle and Rowan tried to open it but Ivy’s excitement was just too much.

“Here, I’ll do it.” Aelin offered. “Just tell me what to do.”

“Fill the water up to the 210 line, then shake it up,” Rowan explained.

Aelin did it, tipping the water in and then screwing the lid back on the bottle before shaking it up. Ivy watched the whole thing, her lips working like she was chewing on something.

“Good?” Aelin held up the bottle so Rowan could inspect it.

“Fantastic work, you’re a natural,” Rowan said, holding his hand out to take the bottle.

“My skills with mixing cocktails has come in handy.” The formula was mixed but Aelin didn’t hand it over. “I… can I do it?”

Rowan nodded. “Yeah, of course.”

Once again the baby was handed over the table. Aelin barely had a grip on her before Ivy was grabbing the bottle and trying to put it in her mouth. She got frustrated when she tried to put the tip of the bottle in her mouth but the cap was still.

“Hold on a second, little lady,” Aelin was laughing as she said the words. She managed to wrangle the bottle out of Ivy’s hands enough to pop the cap off and then the bottle was pulled from her hand by a set of much smaller ones. After that Aelin didn’t have to do anything except cradle Ivy in her arms.

“From here on out she’s pretty self sufficient from here on out,” Rowan said.

Aelin smiled and then looked down at Ivy who was more than content with her dinner. Feeling eyes on her, Aelin looked up and saw Rowan with a soft expression on his face.

“What?” she asked, finding herself rocking a little with the weight of the baby in her arms.

Rowan sighed. “I don’t know how many more times you want to hear me apologise.”

“Rowan,” Aelin chewed over her words for a while. “I understand why you didn’t tell me, I have to accept what this is and I am still getting used to it. But I like you, Rowan. I don’t want to just throw this away before we’ve really had time to think about it. The way I’m seeing it, Ivy is just a bonus.”

The words flew out of her mouth before Aelin gave them permission to leave. She meant them, of course, but she was still in the process of processing that the guy she was likely going to fall in love with was more complicated than she was expecting. There was another thought that was threatening her composure. Aelin kept a tight lid on it, for everyone’s benefit. She could freak out later when her hands weren’t full and Rowan wasn’t looking at her like she was the greatest thing to walk the earth. He could do that later when she wasn’t feeling so self conscious.

Ivy nearly threw her bottle when she was done with it and Aelin helped her sit up. The little girl was so happy, beaming up with Aelin with a two teeth smile.

“Here, I’ll take her,” Rowan said. “She might throw up a little.”

Rowan said it so casually and while Aelin tried not to recoil, she supposed that he’d been dealing with that kind of thing like it was second nature for months. He whipped out a cloth and strategically placed it on Ivy’s lap just in case. It was clear that Rowan was a natural at this, and that he loved his daughter so much. Fear gripped Aelin’s gut when she realised that if she wasn’t a good fit for Rowan’s daughter… she wouldn’t stand a chance.

“I’ll be right back,” Aelin said, taking her bag with her. Rowan nodded but didn’t give her more than a passing glance.

Aelin bolted for the bathroom, pushing the door open with her hip and dropping her bag onto the counter. It was clean, so that was a relief. What she really wanted to do was splash water on her face, but that would ruin her make-up and what she had in her bag was not going to be enough to fix it. She settled for her hands instead, methodically lathering them up and rinsing them, then drying them until there wasn’t a speck of water left. It was clear she was now officially freaking out. A man, with a baby. Was that her future?

If she kept that question and just this general situation to herself, she would get nowhere. So instead she desperately reached into her bag and pulled out her phone. Moments later she was calling the one person who already knew every little detail of her burgeoning relationship.

“Hello, hello,” a female voice said. “Wait, you’re on your date. Why are you calling me?”

“Lys, there’s been a development,” Aelin blurted out.

“What kind of development?” Lysandra asked. “Did you… meet up before the dinner? Is the sex that bad?”

“What, no!” Aelin replied. “I’m at the restaurant calling you from the bathroom.”

“Food poisoning?” Her friend suggested.

“No, I—”

Lysandra cut her off. “Does he chew with his mouth open? I know that’s a thing for you,”

“No, it’s not that,” Aelin sighed.

“Is it—”

“I need  you to just listen,” the seriousness in Aelin’s voice finally shut her friend up. “He has a kid.”

There were a few beats of stunned silence. “He what?”

“He has a kid,” Aelin sighed then dove into the story. “I walked into the restaurant and he was sitting there with a baby on his knee. It’s his, he’s not with the baby’s mother and hasn’t been since before the baby was born. She’s so cute, Lys. absolutely adorable.”

“So, you’re telling me that over the past few months that you’ve been talking to this man and the one singular but fantastic date he’s not mentioned that he’s a dad?” Lysandra sounded sceptical.

“He hasn’t,” Aelin said, feeling more than a little deflated.

“Not even a little hint?”

“None at all,” Aelin confrimed.

Lysandra laughed awkwardly. “That’s weird.”

“But is it? He had his reasons and he told me that he was going to tell me tonight,” Aelin said, coming to Rowan’s defence.

“That sounds awfully convenient,” Lysandra countered.

“I think he means it though,” Aelin said. “It sounds like something went down and there’s rules that they put in place to protect Ivy”

“Ivy?” Lysandra asked

“Yeah that’s his daughter’s name.”

“That is adorable,” her friend said.

“Right? Lys you have no idea, she’s in this little floral onesie and has a headband on. And Rowan would have dressed her himself because he’s the primary caregiver.” Aelin was definitely gushing over a baby she’d known for about half an hour.

“Holy shit, he’s not,” Lysandra sounded stunned.

“He is, and I’m freaking out,” Aelin hissed into the phone. “This wasn’t what I had in mind when I sent that first flirty text. The stakes just got so much higher.”

Aelin wasn’t too lost in her panic to realise that she was about to be gone for a suspiciously long time.

“What do I do? I really like him, but adding a kid to the mix is full on.” Any advice would be helpful in this situation and Aelin was ready to beg for it.

“Well, it’s not like he’s proposing and the fact that he was willing to introduce his daughter to you means something,” her friend rationally explained. “And, if this was to go nowhere you’re not crazy enough to leave a lasting impact on the kid. She’s little enough that she won’t remember who you are after a week or so.”

“That is true,” Aelin agreed.

“So, just focus on the relationship with him for now. If it’s going to work then you can figure the rest out later.”

“But…” Aelin took a second, remembering what Rowan had implied about people running when Ivy came into the picture. She didn’t want to be like them, but still it kept pushing itself into her mind as something that needed to be addressed. “Shouldn't I be contemplating what would happen if I chose to pursue this with Rowan? This could potentially be an instant family situation. Am I ready for that?”

Lysandra was quiet and Aelin was about to prompt her for some kind of answer when she said. “Are you?”

Aelin sighed as her gut knotted. Yes, she had always wanted a family, she was 24, she was young and incredibly naive to many of the realities of life just because she hadn’t experienced them yet. Rowan had been thrown in deep end and wading through circumstances Aelin had assumed were years away for her. It was a scary thought to be committed to both Rowan and Ivy like that… but it wasn’t exactly unpleasant.

“I’m going to do it,” Aelin said with renewed conviction. “I want to give this a try.”

“There we go. Update me later, okay? Now go have fun,” Lysandra said.

“Bye Lys, and thanks.”

Aelin hung up after that. Looking up she gave herself a morale boosting nod before she picked up her bag and went back to the table. Rowan was still there with Ivy sitting on the table, just like Aelin had her sitting before. Father and daughter were having some kind of conversation that included a lot of smiling. It was too precious.

She sat back down and Rowan turned that smile on her, loosening that tension in her gut. One step at a time, the first of them was just accepting and getting to know the man in front of her. The man who was her friend and clearly a wonderful father. He’d taken a chance tonight, so now it was her turn.

~~~~~

When Aelin had disappeared to the bathroom for a fair deal longer than usual Rowan had been worried. Some bitter part of him thought that maybe she had just left. That the excuses and explanations that he had offered weren’t enough and Aelin had decided he was too much. But then she reappeared and he had whispered his profound relief to Ivy, who looked excited even though she had no idea what he was talking about.

She sat down, returning the smile he had offered and the evening had gone well from there. The conversation seemed a bit easier after that, more like what they shared over their messages—the easy banter that came with a fair amount of teasing on Aelin’s part. They were about to order dessert when things went awry.

Ivy began to fuss, it started as displeased whimpering but had quickly escalated into dissatisfied squawking. Rowan knew he was about five minutes away from a meltdown. Aelin had admitted her need for dessert, something he wasn’t particularly fussed on which had shocked her into a stunned silence when he had shrugged off the importance of double chocolate mousse. Rowan wanted Aelin to get her dessert, he didn’t want this date to be over just yet, but he also didn’t want his daughter to completely crack it in a public setting.

“We have to go, don’t we?” Aelin said before he got the chance to admit it.

“Yeah, sorry,” Rowan said, disappointed and a little embarrassed. “She’s just… well you can see.”

Aelin nodded with a sympathetic smile. “You gotta do what you gotta do.”

“Dessert—“

Rowan didn’t get to say anything else because Ivy yelled at him, a clear demonstration of why she needed to get to bed.

“I’ll pay, you look after her.”

Aelin was gone in a moment, leaving Rowan to pick up the few toys left behind. He was moving fast because Ivy was about to ruin the dining experience of every other person in the restaurant and he just wanted to get out of there before the cutting looks started. Before shouldering the bag he pulled out a small blanket to help combat the coolness of outside. Then he was up, Ivy protesting against his chest with the blanket thrown over her. Aelin was paying when he rushed through the front door and he decided to wait for her out on the street.

Bouncing to try and soothe Ivy, he watched the door of the restaurant. One handed he fished a pacifier out of the bag. “I know, love. Just a little more and then I’ll get you in the car, okay?”

Aelin was out a few minutes later. “I would have understood if you left.”

“I wouldn’t without saying goodbye,” Rowan said. “I had a great time, and thank you for not walking out on me.”

“Rowan,” Aelin chided with a soft shake of her head. “Come here.”

Her hand was on his elbow and he took her direction and lent down a little. Aelin pressed a kiss to his cheek. When he pulled back enough to look her in the eyes if his hands hadn’t been full nothing would have stopped her from kissing her at that moment. Because he could see that Ivy hadn’t scared her away, the understanding that Aelin had for him was a rare thing.

“I hadn’t planned on this evening ending so early,” Aelin said.

“Me neither.” Then Rowan took a chance. “It doesn’t have to. I mean if you wanted… I can put Ivy to bed and then I can get you that dessert I promised.”

Aelin’s face lit up. “Send me your address.”

~~~~~

Aelin parked on the curb outside a tidy little townhouse. It was nothing fancy, just modest and efficient and very practical for a single father she supposed. That was a shift in perspective that she was still getting used to. The front porch light was on so Rowan had beat her here. With the way Ivy was fussing she wasn’t surprised. Rowan had been desperate to get out of there, the date had probably disrupted whatever Ivy’s routine was. Hopefully the entire evening wasn’t lost and Ivy would recover enough to not cause her father too much trouble.

Locking her car with a press of a button Aelin walked up in path and stairs to the front door. She considered knocking but worried that it might disturb Ivy so instead she let herself in. The house was quiet except for the sound of soft singing. Aelin followed the sound to the living room where Rowan was gently swaying, a dozing Ivy in his arms as she drank her bottle. And good Gods, he stopped her in her tracks for the second time that night.

For a few very long heartbeats her ovaries took full control over her body. That part of her that hearkened back to a time when humans chose partners for their capabilities as providers rose to the surface and told her this man was the one that could really, really look after her. Rowan noticing her broke the spell and Aelin stopped herself from literally shaking herself out of it.

“Take a seat, I’ll only be a few more minutes,” he told her softly.

Aelin nodded and let Rowan pass. Ivy was so little in his arms and they made for a perfect picture. He was still singing when the two of them disappeared upstairs and Aelin wandered into the living room. She didn’t sit on the couch, instead she glanced along the bookshelf in the corner of the room. There was hardly any space left and usually reading the spines would have taken up Aelin’s focus, but it was the photos that caught her attention. They were all of Ivy. Some had people in them Aelin didn’t recognise and a few had Rowan in them. Her eyes stopped on one where Ivy was tiny, newborn kind of tiny, and Rowan was looking at her with tears in his eyes and the most adoring smile on his face. It was a beautiful moment.

“That was the first time I held her,” Rowan said and Aelin nearly jumped. “I was scared shitless but I loved her so much instantly.”

Aelin turned to face Rowan, he was only a few feet away from her, now baby-less but still just as handsome. He looked nervous, the same kind of nervousness that had come and gone all night. A hand ran through his hair and he took a step closer, then another. Aelin stayed right where she was, waiting for whatever declaration he was about to make. She was expecting another apology.

“Thank you,” he said instead. “It means a lot to me that you didn’t run. That you’re willing to give this a chance.”

“Just so you know, you with a baby is incredibly hot,” Aelin chose to say, successfully diffusing the tension that threatened to envelope them again. “In fact I would say that it’s taken you up a notch.”

Rowan took another step forward. If he got any closer Aelin would be stuck in between him and the bookcase—not a terribly place to be. “Oh?”

Aelin grinned, knowing she was going to cause a stir with this one. “Yeah, there’s a neat little acronym for it.” Rowan’s lips twitched like he was following along. “I don’t know if you’re aware of this, Rowan. But you are undoubtedly a DILF.”

Rowan laughed, a deep rich sound. “You know what, I don’t think that’s been brought to my attention before.”

“Really? Because I’d definitely go there. Wouldn’t need to ask me twice.”

That made Rowan laugh again, a little softer this time. Then he said, “Aelin.”

“Yes?” He’d moved closer now, half a step back and Aelin would have the shelves digging into her shoulders.

“I’d like to kiss you now, if that’s alright,” Rowan said, a hand brushing against her cheek.

“Well considering what I just said I think you have more than enough permission,” Aelin all but breathed.

“Just wanted to make sure.”

There was no time to reply because Rowan lips were pressed to hers, silencing whatever snarky remark she could come up with to hide her own nervousness. Aelin let the kiss consume her, sighing and letting Rowan take the lead. She had been waiting for this for a long time and it was even better than she imagined. Rowan’s hand landed on her hip, but it was Aelin who tugged him closer with her arms around his neck. That made him groan, his hands travelling higher to grip her waist. That pressure made her gasp and Rowan swept his tongue into her, making her knees go weak as he licked at the roof of her mouth. Not to be outdone, Aelin fingers tightened in his hair, a move he approved of if the way his hand drifted dangerously high.

“You can touch me,” Aelin breathed against his lips. “Please.”

“What about dessert,” he teased with a kiss pressed to her neck.

Aelin’s eyelids fluttered closed at the sensation of his lips on her skin. “Doesn’t matter now.”

That was all the permission Rowan needed and his hand was covering her breast. Even though the layers of her dress and her bra, he was teasing her nipple making her whimper into his mouth.

“Gods, Aelin,” he groaned and then they were moving backward—blindly for Aelin but Rowan knew exactly where they were going.

He dropped onto the couch, bringing Aelin with him. With a hand behind each knee he arranged them so she was straddling his lap. The fabric of her dress rode up, but Aelin didn’t care. All she cared about was the man beneath her who was kissing and touching her like he would never ever be done with her.

They made out for a while, the tension building with each pass of Rowan’s hand’s over her body. When Aelin was burning and desperate enough to ask him for more Rowan slowed down, his kisses getting gentler and less urgent. Somewhere is the dizzy reaches of her brain Aelin wanted to protest, but through the haze rationality was sneaking in.

Rowan pressed a brief kiss to Aelin’s lips, once then twice. “I know what you said… but not tonight.”

He was right. There was a lot more they needed to all about before this went any further, so Aelin agreed. “Not tonight.”

She crawled off his lap and settled next to Rowan with a head on his chest. He was still tense, and when he had to pull at the front of his jeans Aelin snorted into his shirt.

“Sorry,” she said. “I’m so mean.”

There was a faint blush on Rowan’s cheeks when he said, “It’s been a while?”

“A while?” Aelin asked, her face no longer hidden.

“Yeah, a while,” Rowan admitted.

Aelin was doing some quick calculations in her head. “Are we talking like… conception ‘a while’? Because that’s like a year.”

Thankfully Rowan laughed instead of taking offence. “No, it’s not been that long. Just, apparently having a child can be a bit of a turn off. Not for everyone, obviously.”

This time Aelin blushed, but gave Rowan a poke in his ribs for teasing. “I feel like there’s more to the story there.”

Rowan sighed. “There’s a lot to my story.”

“Then start from the beginning, I want to hear it,” Aelin said. “I know we’ve gotten to know a lot about each other, but now I feel like I only know half of you. I want to know all of you.”

“I’ve been dying to tell you,” Rowan said, looking down at her with utter sincerity. “But even that’s all part of it.”

“From the beginning, Rowan,” Aelin prompted, giving him a kiss on the cheek to sweeten the deal.

He kissed the top of her head in return. “Right. From the beginning. Lyria and I were dating for nearly a year when we broke up, and like I said Ivy must have happened right towards the very end. We weren’t a good match, but we liked each other enough and then it was convenient and—“

Rowan cut himself off but Aelin got the gist. “And the sex was good.”

“Is that and awfully shallow reason to stay in a relationship?” Rowan asked.

Aelin shrugged. “Sometimes companionship is more than enough.”

“Anyway,” Rowan picked his story back up. “We woke up to ourselves, called it off and a month later Lyria’s called me to tell me she was pregnant and that she wanted to keep it. I told her I wanted to be part of the baby’s life and we’d maintained enough of a friendship that we were both comfortable with that. I went to all the appointments, helped buy everything and semi moved in a few weeks before the due date. Everything was textbook book, no complications or anything, and we had our little Ivy.”

There was a softness that took ove Rowan’s face as he must have got lost in those early memories.

“We kept living together for the first two months and I ended up taking on most of the responsibilities. I didn’t think much of it then, I was just doing the best I could and I loved taking care Ivy, but looking back I think it was the first indicator. To me I was just doing the hard yards while Lyria recovered. Then I moved back out and I was the one taking Ivy on the weekends.” Rowan sighed and he looked down at Aelin with an odd kind of intensity. “I need you to know that Lyria isn’t a bad mother or a terrible person. There were just circumstances that were beyond her control that had her reevaluating what was best for Ivy.”

“I can do that,” Aelin told him.

“Lyria was young, she was 22 when she had Ivy, and an unexpected baby wasn’t exactly in her plans and she was struggling to reconcile with the loss of the life she had for herself. I could see she struggled when it came to taking care of Ivy and I did what I could. That included getting her to see and doctor. She had postpartum depression and anxiety, it made her feel like being a full tome mother wasn’t for her. We had a very serious talk about it and she wanted me to have primary custody.”

“That’s…” Aelin was searching for the right words. It must have been a difficult decision to come to. “That was very brave of her.”

Rowan nodded his head once. “It was. Things have become strained between us since then, I think she stuggles with guilt of it and all that. But Ivy is our priority. That’s why we have the rules.”

“Ah, the rules,” Aelin echoed. “Let’s hear them.”

“These rules came from…” Rowan physically cringed, “some questionable partners that Lyria entertained a relationship with. Rule one is that there is not mention of Ivy until the second date. Rule two is that it’s three dates before the potential partner can meet Ivy, and rule three is we have to meet each other’s dates before they meet Ivy.”

Aelin swallowed, suddenly feeling very nervous. “So, you pretty much broke all of the rules.”

Rowan turned her head so she had to look at him. “Because I knew you’d be so worth it.”

Then he was kissing her again, and it was so easy to get willingly lost in it again. So easy to let him lay her back on the couch, his strong body hovering over her’s and their hands made lazy, idle passes. Then Rowan groaned, resting their foreheads together.

“But because I broke those rules, I don’t want to take this any further before I rectify that,” Rowan said.

“I understand,” Aelin kissed away the frown on his face. “Why don’t we watch something then?”

Rowan looked at her like she something wonderous, it made her heart do funny things in her chest. “You have no idea how much your understanding means to me.”

The sincerity in his voice made Aelin want to ask why but she let it be. There would be time for that later.

~~~~~

It had been Aelin’s idea to watch something, but she had also been the one to ignore that entirely and just talk the whole way through the movie. Sometimes it was about what was going on the screen, mostly it was just her asking Rowan personal questions. Seven out of ten times they revolved around Ivy and Rowan found it hard to deny the effect that Aelin’s inquisitiveness had on him. Knowing Ivy existed opened up and whole new avenue for them, they had done the all the get to know you questions weeks ago and now there was something entirely new to explore. For Aelin, Ivy was embraced not avoided. She wanted to know more, every new question reaffirming how right this relationship felt.

It was getting late and Rowan was getting tired. It wasn’t until Aelin started drifting off mid story that Rowan realised she was tired too.

He chuckled softly, waking Aelin up from her dozing. “What… no keep going.”

“You’re falling asleep,” Rowan chided.

Aelin huffed, like she was disappointed. “I like the sound of your voice.”

“You should go home,” Rowan told her, but Aelin’s arms just tightened around him.

“No.”

Decision made then. Despite’s Aelin’s protests her untangled himself from her grip and helped her stand.

“This is not where I saw my evening going,” Rowan said. “You can stay if you want.”

“Mmm, yes please,” Aelin yawned. “I don’t think I can get myself home.”

“Come on then.” Rowan led Aelin upstairs to his room and sat her on the edge of the bed as he pulled some clothes out for her and for himself. “Put these on, I’ll be back in a minute.”

Rowan got himself ready for bed in the bathroom and when he came out Aelin had already tucked herself in. She’s taken his shirt but left the sweatpants on the foot of the bed. That was going to be tortuous for him.

“The pants were too big,” Aelin mumbled. “Sorry.”

She certainly didn’t sound it.

“I’ll be on the couch if you need anything,” Rowan said.

“Here with me is where I need you,” Aelin replied. “Don’t be silly, Rowan. We can control oursleves.”

There was a slight challenge in Aelin’s voice, a taunt that maybe it would be absolutely fine if they lost a little bit of that control. But he would have to be the one to make the first move. Smirking at the woman in his bed even though she had her back to him, Rowan pulled back the sheet and slipped in beside her. He kept his distance—not wanting to tempt fate. But after lying there for a while he found he couldn’t sleep until he’d wrapped his arms around Aelin, kissing her golden hair once before drifting off to sleep.

When he was up the next morning Aelin was still right there next to him. At some point Rowan had rolled onto his back and she’d come with him, torso half over him and arm banded around his chest. It was still very early, but it was what his body had become accustomed to caring for an infant. Very carefully he eased himself out of Aelin’s grasp and pulled the blanket up to her chin, leaving her cozy in bed. On his way downstairs he stopped by Ivy’s room, peeking into the dim space to find his daughter still asleep as well. Rowan let her be, closing the door as softly as he could.

Rowan tidied the bottle mess from last night and set the coffee brewing. He was hoping there was something in his fridge he could rustle up for breakfast. Yawning and stretching, he padded over to the fridge and investigated. He was just pulling out some eggs when he heard his front door open and he froze.

“Shit,” he muttered to himself, giving up on the eggs and nearly slamming the fridge shut.

Lyria walked into the kitchen, making Rowan even angrier than yesterday about her disregard for her privacy.

“Good morning, Rowan,” Lyria said looking him over. “Ivy got you early up too I see.”

“Habit,” was all Rowan said. This was not how he envisioned his morning going. He and Aelin were going to have breakfast, chat some more, then he was going to call Lyria and have her come get Ivy and they could talk about his new relationship. With her dropping in like this he was on the back foot, he was half hoping Aelin would sleep through it all and then he wouldn’t have to scramble for an explanation.

Lyria just look at him. “Okay. So, yeah. Sorry about last night. I hope your date understood.”

“She did,” just not in the way Lyria was referring to.

Guilt started to build in his gut. He was lying to Lyria, all for his own benefit, and was making Aelin complicit in his lies. This was not the right way to start things. Rowan had messed up, he shouldn’t have listened to his own anger. He should have done things right because everything he’d worked hard for was about to blow up in his face. Even if Aelin didn’t appear, the real beginning of their relationship had started with him being deceitful. Not to Aelin, but the mother of his child, who no matter what would always be a crucial part of his life.

“If you had of told me you were coming I would have had Ivy ready to go,” Rowan said.

Lyria shrugged. “I thought she’d be up by now and I wanted to get our weekend started.”

“How do I not factor into anything?” Rowan asked. “What if I had of of been sleeping? You can’t just walk in here Lyria.”

Lyria’s chestnut eyes widened at his words. “You gave me a key.”

“For emergencies, not to just walk in when you felt like it.” Rowan had been withholding this argument for a long while, now cornered and desperate it had slipped out. “It’s disrespectful.”

“Rowan, we have a kid together,” Lyria said, provoked and looking ready for an argument. “I need access to your apartment for about fifty different reasons.”

“I’m just asking that if it’s not an emergency, you knock first,” Rowan grit out, keeping a tight hold on his anger. “It’s the same curtesy I give you.”

“I don’t care what you do,” Lyria threw back at him.

“That’s an outright lie.” His anger slipped a little and he needed to get out of there before it went any further. “I’ll get Ivy for you.”

“There’s no need.”

Both he and Lyria turned to the voice that came from the entry way, where Aelin stood, Ivy on her hip, dressed in nothing but his shirt. At any other time that sight would have been a vision. But right now, it was the worst thing in the world. Because when Lyria turned back to him that was pure anger on her face.

~~~~~

It was soft babbling that woke Aelin up, it was muffled and a little scratchy sounding, and it took Aelin a moment to figure out why it sounded so weird. Blearily she looked up, looking for the source of the sound and spotted the baby monitor on Rowan’s bedside table.

“Ah, that’s why,” Aelin said to herself, because she’d been left alone on Rowan’s bed.

She stretched out, letting herself wake up properly before she made a decision on what to do next. The door to the ensuite was open and she could see that Rowan wasn’t in there or the rest of the bedroom. And from the way that Ivy’s babbling got a little more insistent it didn’t sound like he was in her room either. He must be downstairs then.

Aelin rolled to the edge of the bed and pushed herself up, heading to where she supposed Ivy’s room was. A sweet little voice led her way and soon enough Aelin found herself in a quaint bedroom with green walls and a woodland theme. Ivy was in her cot, kicking as best she could with the zip up sleeping bag she was trapped in.

“Hey there, little bug,” Aelin said as she approached the bed. “You want out?”

A gurgling laugh was her answer.

“Alright, I don’t exactly know what to deal it so I’ll release you and let Dad figure out the rest.” Aelin unzipped the bag and lifted Ivy out of it. In a little gesture that warmed her heart, Ivy cuddled up to her, fingers weaving into Aelin’s tangled hair.

Mindful that she was carrying an infant, Aelin used the banister to help her down the stairs. She was too busy chatting with Ivy to take any real notice of the other voices in the house, her inattentive brain just assumed it was the TV or something. Then when she stepped into the entry way of the kitchen Aelin discovered that their party had increased by one.

The woman with brown hair and and chestnut coloured eyes was unquestioningly Ivy’s mother. There were enough similarities between her and the infant that it was recognisable. The tension in the room was tense, and when Lyria looked over at Aelin with anger flashing in her eyes, it only thickened.

“You weren’t so much worried about you sleeping in than me interrupting something else then?” She accused at Rowan. “Looks like you were worried about me walking in and finding you two fucking on the couch.”

“Don’t swear in front of Ivy,” Rowan snapped.

Lyria let out a short, bitter laugh. “Oh, please. She’s five months old she has no idea.”

Rowan stood his ground. “I don’t care, I’m asking you not to swear in front of her in my house.”

Aelin could only watch with mild horror as this argument unfolding in front of her. Because of her. She was feeling deeply uncomfortable but didn’t know what to do.

“You accuse me of being disrespectful. Knock before you come in, don’t swear. All these rules, Rowan. But what about our rules,” Lyria took a single step towards Rowan, hand cutting through the air. “The rules don’t apply to you then? Just me. Why is that?”

Oh, gods. Rowan had broken or twisted every rule last night with her. And Aelin had been so caught up in the thrill and surprise of it all to not realise how wrong it was. This woman was the mother of his child, and they had betrayed her and gone behind her back, breaking whatever strenuous peace Rowan had worked towards.

Aelin had caused this rift and had even brought Ivy in to witness it.

As if echoing the distaster of her thoughts Ivy whimpered, little face burying into Aelin’s shoulder. It was hardly a mirror image that her parents presented, Rowan’s features softened while Lyria’s only hardened with more anger.

Moving Ivy into her hands Aelin rushed forward. “Here.”

She passed the baby to Rowan and then fled, ignoring the voices behind her. Her main goal was to get out of the house and leave this poor family alone. It was selfish of her to inflict this kind of pain on them, and her own anger was building because Rowan had led her right into it. He’d professed that those gods-damned rules were there to protect Ivy. They hadn’t, just confirmed by the sharp wail that cut through the house.

Aelin snatched up her clothes and the sweatpants that she had forgone last night. Changing wasn’t a priority, getting out was. She pulled on the pants and got her car keys out of her hand bag. The shoes she had worn last night were somewhere in the living room but she could live without those.

She nearly ran down the stairs, stumbling over the last one. Rowan and Lyria were still going at it in the kitchen, but she ignored them and made for the front door.

“Aelin, wait!” Rowan called to her but she didn’t.

The morning air still held a chill and the wooden slats of the front porch were cold on her bare feet. Aelin was down the stairs of the porch when Rowan called out again, babyless and rushing through the door.

“Aelin, please.”

Stopping, Aelin turned around and shook her head. “I have to go, Rowan.”

“No, please stay,” he was barefoot on the concrete path too, moving closer.

When Aelin took a step back, he stopped. “I can’t. You need to fix this. I’m sorry I caused this, we shouldn’t have…”

Her voice faded out as tears clawed at her throat.

“This was me,” Rowan said. “I… I messed up.”

“Go and fix it then.” Without another word Aelin left him standing there, no more hesitating as he headed to her car.

Aelin refused to look, but she knew Rowan was there watching everything as she threw her clothes onto the passenger seat and started the car. This hurt, because Aelin knew that this could have been something special, and now because they both had been stupid and reckless and selfish it was burning to nothing but ash. She should have gone home like her common sense had urged her to do, after hearing everything she should have respected what Lyria had wanted for Ivy. The poor tiny thing, Aelin had just caused her so much pain. One solitary glance in the rearview mirror showed Rowan standing right where she’d left him, still watching her go.

Aelin was just grateful that he coulddn’t see the tears rolling down her cheeks, soaking the t-shirt of his she still wore.

~~~~~

Like I said. I’m promising you a part 2. Maybe a happy new year gift?

[snowy-nostalgia]

Postal 2 Dude x GN! Reader: Confessions. (Slight angst!)

I’m still getting over years worth of writer’s block so I’m sorry if this isn’t that good. It’s also my first time writing for Postal 2 Dude so I tried my best to capture his personality. Enjoy!

It had been a pretty long time since Dude had left Paradise, and had moved into your neighborhood. He had managed to keep a lower profile here, not that he wasn’t up to his usual antics, he had just gotten better at not getting caught, and keeping you oblivious to his actions. He’s had a soft spot for you since day one, you had welcomed him to the neighborhood with genuine kindness, he could tell you weren’t faking it. The fact that you continued being kind towards him made everytime you saw him a nice change of pace, especially once your friendship started to blossom. Even Champ loved you, which sealed the deal for him almost instantly. He hadn’t had an actual friend in a long time, and because he didn’t want to mess it up he hid a lot of himself from you. Every violent action he did he made sure there was no way you could find out, and he made up every excuse for you to not enter his home, given that it was messy and covered in paraphernalia. He also began to become protective of you, anyone who treated you wrong somehow went missing the next day, and when you brought it up he’d act oblivious. Things were very smooth between the two of you, usually hanging out for hours at your home, goofing around and watching movies. He hoped that this would last forever, until something in him changed.

He started feeling strange around you, almost sick. His stomach would feel fluttery and his face felt warmer. He thought at first that you might have been sick and had given it to him, until it clicked in his brain. Something he thought he couldn’t do anymore, have romantic feelings for someone. It did more than weird him out. It scared him. Him of all people, scared. He thought that piece of him was gone for good, and that he’d never have to worry about feeling this way again. He didn’t know what to do, there was a part of him that felt guilty. Guilty because he thought you deserved better than him, and that if you did want to be with him it would almost be punishment for you, especially because of everything you didn’t know about him. He even thought about just moving away, but he knew he couldn’t just leave and ghost you, it would break your heart. He stopped replying to your texts, and isolated himself for awhile, he needed time to think.

It had been a week, and he made up his mind. He was going to confess everything to you, not only the things he was doing now and the feelings he had for you, but also about his past. If you still cared about him after, and hell, even felt the same way about him, he would stay. If he scared you, he’d leave, move far away, and repeat his violent cycle again, but this time he wouldn’t even let himself get close to someone. He was screaming in his head while walking to your house, a thousand thoughts racing at once. When he made it to your door, he knocked a few times while looking at the ground, preparing himself mentally to see your face.

You had been thinking about Dude the whole week, you thought he died or something. When you heard the knock at the door you jumped up from where you were sitting, hoping it was him and that he had an explanation. You opened the door, and there he was. He seemed withdrawn, and a little dirtier than usual. He stopped looking at the ground and his eyes met with yours. You could see his eyes were bloodshot even through his sunglasses. “Dude, where have you been, are you alright?” You asked him. “Uhhh, yeah, can I come in? I need to talk to you.” He replied, looking away from you. “Of course, come in.” You opened the door all the way allowing him to walk in. He sat on your couch, looking at the ground again. You could tell something was wrong, but you wanted to let him tell you on his own terms. He spoke up, still looking down, as if he was afraid to look you in the eye again, “There’s something I need to tell you. It’s serious, and I think you won’t want anything to do with me after I tell you, but I can’t fucking lie anymore.” He said, his voice sounding weary and quieter than usual. Before you could reply, he started. When I mean he started telling you everything, I mean everything. Every horrible, terrible, disgusting thing he’s ever done. It shocked you, of course it did. Yeah, he was a gruff guy who made a ton of out of pocket inappropriate comments, but he was so nice to you. Every bit of information was like whiplash, but you couldn’t have even started to expect what he was about to say next. “…I know all these things make it seem like I must be some fucking emotionless monster, but that’s not the worst fucking part. Despite everything I’ve done, I fell in love with you. And I couldn’t just say that and not tell you the rest, that’d be living a fucking lie. I understand if you don’t love me back, or fuck, even not want to see my face again, but I just couldn’t lie anymore…” He finished, finally looking you in the eye. You were clearly stunned, he expected you to scream and run, maybe even call the cops on him, but what you said next probably left him more shocked than you were. “Dude, I…I don’t know what to say. This is a lot to take in, and I don’t hate you-“ “But you don’t love either, I’m guessing.” He interrupted, his voice blunt and louder than before. “Dude, please-“ “Just say it, say you don’t love me.” He said in a stern tone. “But I do love you!” You were able to get out before he interrupted again. “What…?” He almost choked on that word alone. “I do love you, I have for awhile, It’s just…It’s going to take me a second to process everything else.” He went from the couch to his knees on the floor, he was quiet, in complete shock. “Dude? Are you okay?” You got on the floor too, and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Dude…?” He did something he’s never done the whole time he’s known you, hugged you. He wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his head on your shoulder. “Promise…? You promise you love me…?” He said quietly, his voice slightly shaken. “Of course, I promise. I wouldn’t lie to you… but that doesn’t mean you get to start hurting people around me just because I know everything now.” You said playfully. He chuckled, “Yeah, of course… Can we stay like this for awhile? I don’t want to let go just yet… fuck that sounds cheesy doesn’t it?” He said, you giggled at it. “We can stay like this as long as you want, Dude, I have time.” You replied. “I uhhh… love you, (Y/N)…” “I love you too, Dude. Nothing’s gonna change that, I promise.”

[sig-nifier]

21, 23

21 - a piece of my writing that i liked, but had to cut

i actually don't keep drafts of my writing, so i normally only have the finished product. (i also never edit fics, what i post is usually the first draft and i'll reread it once, fix any mistakes and go eh good enough) having said that, i do still have a line from make you feel alive that i never included

"John believes that if you're most likely to be shot down and killed everytime you do your job, you have to make the most of the time you have.

Gale would agree, but he'd also argue that a man is less likely to be shot down and killed if he flew like a sane human being.

Bucky doesn't see the fun in that."

23 - a piece of my writing that was inspired by a work from another medium (music, visual art, dance, etc.)

i nearly wrote my uni disseration on a series of conversations with an alien, where the alien learns about life on earth. it was going to be about really simple or broad things like birthdays and standing in line and that kind of thing, but i only ever wrote one conversation. it was about friendship, and it was heavily inspired by the 1986 film stand by me.

(i was going to post just a snippet but honestly i really love this and someone should get to see the whole thing)

The alien arrives on his doorstep, suitcase in hand, and says; “I’ve come to learn about humanity.”

Friendship

I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?

“Well?”

The alien is sat cross legged on the floor in front of the TV. A mug of tea – teabags had been fun to explain – is clasped snuggly within their six fingers. “I’m not sure I understand.”

“I – what’s there to understand?”

“This is a well-loved film among your people?”

“It’s a classic, yes.”

They turn from the television screen to look back at him. “A classic?”

He waves a hand, wafting through the air to try and locate a better definition. In the end, he simply settles on; “well-loved.”

“But why? What’s the message?”

“Films don’t always need a message – but this one, I suppose, is about treasuring friendship, or something like that.”

“Treasuring friendship.”

“Appreciating the friends that you have, yes.”

The alien shuffles (rather badly) to turn their body away from the screen and face where he sits on the sofa. Tea sloshes over the edge of their mug, but if they notice they do not show it.

“And what is the purpose of a friend?”

“Well, that’s…hm. The purpose of a friend is to be a friend. It’s sort of a broad but simple term.”

“What do friends do?”

“They spend time together, for one.”

“Why?”

“Because they enjoy each other’s company.”

“But what’s the point?”

“The point?” He sighs.

“What do you gain?”

“You gain their friendship. That kind of is the point.”

“But why?”

An alien, it occurs to him, is sometimes no more than an exasperating child. Their innocence is so pure, their lack of knowledge something to be defended, and yet it is every parents wish that their child would grow wise fast, with the outcome being that they never again have to hear the phrase but why.

“Because it’s nice, having someone who you have no real loyalty to – hanging out with someone you like just because you like them and share some kind of mutual, unspoken promise that you’ll keep on liking them for no real reason other than you just do.”

The alien considers this, tapping an uncomfortably long finger on the side of their mug, and he prays to whatever God he doesn’t believe in that their next words won’t be another question.

“Are we friends?”

Well. That was certainly unexpected. He supposes caretaker would be a better word, but the alien is looking at him so expectantly and hopeful.

“Yes, of course we are.”

The alien seems pleased.

“Does it make more sense that way?”

“Yes, I think it does.”

[torreshalstead]

Your eyes in my life - Chapter 3

Summary - The night of Kim’s final layover as a flight attendant ended with a one night stand with a stranger she met across a bar.

6 years later, that same stranger walked into the 21st District and was assigned as her new Rookie and her life was thrown upside down. She hadn’t seen Adam since that night in LA. But she saw his eyes every day. In the eyes of their daughter.

Chapters - 3/?

Chapter Summary - After the initial shock, Kim is tries to come to terms with the fact that Adam is her new rookie.

Notes - thanks for the support on this so far, I’m excited for you to see where it’s going! Hope you enjoy! AO3 Link

Kim should have known it was coming, seen it a mile off, as soon as he had walked into the roll up, he was going to be her Rookie. Fate worked in funny ways sometimes. However she wasn’t sure this was going to end up being even the slightest bit funny.

Ruzek had jumped to his feet when his name was called and unlike her reaction, nervous and worried, he had seemed the most relaxed since he had walked in once he got paired with her.

She took a deep breath as she walked over to him, now was not the time to freak out at the situation.

‘Kim, I-’, Adam started when she reached him, but she held up her hand to stop him.

‘It’s Officer Burgess’, she said firmly. Unlike that night in the bar when she had been out of her element, here at the district, she was in her comfort zone. She knew the ropes and ultimately she had the upper hand, she just needed to act like it.

‘Right, sorry, Officer Burgess. I didn’t- ’, he tried again but once again Kim quickly interrupted him.

‘Not the time,’ she said, impressed by how controlled her voice sounded. ‘Follow me and I’ll give you a tour of the district’. She didn’t wait for his answer as she headed back towards the door that led them upstairs.

The tour was awkward, there was no other word to describe it. She tried to keep it natural but she was completely thrown by him being here. It had been 6 years, he shouldn’t be having the impact on her that he was but everytime she turned to look at him, she was met by those eyes and it would take her a second to regain her thoughts.

Adam tried at several points throughout the morning to engage her in conversation but every time Kim shut him down. She wasn’t sure how she was going to manage 12 weeks of this, but she would. Kim Burgess didn’t fail and she most certainly wouldn’t fail at this.

When lunch time rolled around, she sent him out to get her a sandwich and retreated to the locker room.

The room was empty when she arrived so she took a moment to glance at herself in the mirror. At least her outward appearance didn’t reflect the chaotic thoughts that were revolving around her brain. Pull it together Kimberely, she thought as she stared into the mirror, her reflection staring back at her from the smudged glass.

Just then a voice called out, ‘Burg, you in here?’ Kevin appeared round the corner, a smile on his face. ‘So how’s your rookie?’ He asked as he took a seat on the bench opposite.

‘Alright, I guess’, Kim said as she walked back over to her locker, ‘he’s a bit chatty but seems fine’. She avoided eye contact, she knew if she met his eyes, there was a good chance everything would come pouring out of her and this was not the time or the place. ‘How’s Tay?’ she asked, hoping to steer the conversation away from Adam.

‘Yeah, she’s good. Keen. Eager to learn. I think she was a bit bummed to be paired with me and not you though. Guess she’d have preferred to have another female cop’s expertise and guidance or something’.

‘We could swap!’ Kim said urgently as she spun around to face Kevin. ‘I can take Tay and you can have Adam, I mean Ruzek’.

‘Nah, it’s alright’, Kevin said calmly, looking at her with a hint of curiosity. ‘Platt mentioned something this morning about giving us these rookie’s for a reason, so I doubt she’d let us change. Even for her favourite’, he added with a grin.

Kim turned back around to her locker, shoulders slumping.

‘I’m not her favourite’, she muttered under her breath, picking at her nails with the realisation that she was stuck with Adam and would need to deal with it eventually.

——————————————————————————

The rest of the day continued in much the same manner; Kim sticking only to conversational topics that related to the job, the department and the district, and Adam trying in vain to bring up the night in LA.

With their shift drawing to a close, Platt called them all back down to the rollout. The Rookie’s took the seats that were still lined up and their TO’s stood against the back wall.

‘So your first day as a Chicago Police Officer has come to an end’, she said with the same commanding voice that Kim had been so impressed with on her own first day. ‘Your TO’s are here to teach you, but they are not here to baby you. I will tell you now, not all of you will make it in the CPD. It’s up to you to decide if you are one of the ones that will. Tomorrow you will be leaving the district for the first time, do not embarrass me. Do not embarrass your TO’s. But more importantly, you come home safe. Make no mistake, our job’s can be dangerous. But if you listen to what you are being taught. You will go home to your families at the end of the day.’ Trudy continued, looking around at the recruits seeing all but one of them staring back at her. She noted that Burgess’s Rookie, Ruzek, was staring at his hands instead of at her. ‘Dismissed’, she finished. ‘Burgess, just a second’, she added and with this Ruzek looked back at Burgess whilst everyone else filed upstairs to change and head out.

Kim began to walk towards her Sargeant when she noticed that Adam had remained glued to his seat, she said loudly, ‘dismissed means you too Ruzek’. At this, he nodded quickly and followed everyone else as they headed upstairs, glancing back around for one final time before the door shut behind him.

Once the two women were alone, Trudy started, ‘everything alright with your Rookie?’.

‘Yes Sarge, why did he say something?’ Kim asked worriedly.

‘No no, just checking in, making sure everything’s fine?’ she questioned, raising an eyebrow at the young cop.

‘We’re all good Sarge, just first day nerves I think,’ Kim tried to say confidently but knew that Trudy could see right through her.

‘Alright then’, Trudy said again after a moment. ‘See you tomorrow, Burgess’.

——————————————————————————

Heading up to the locker room herself, Kim should have expected that Adam would be there waiting for her. He didn’t say anything as she entered, he didn’t need to. She knew he wanted to talk.

‘I know’, she said, answering his unasked question as she grabbed her bag out of her locker. ‘Meet me outside in 10, we can talk then.’ He nodded and left the room, leaving Kim alone to ponder on her current predicament.

She rested her head against her locker and tried to slow her breathing. This was not how today was supposed to go. She had been so excited to get assigned her rookie this morning, to get to show someone the ropes of a job she loved so much. She was excited to get to be the person they looked up to, respected, listened to. But she had been paired with him. The man who had changed the course of her life 6 years ago without even knowing it. And she now had to see him every day for the next 3 months. Sit next to him in a patrol car, every day. Pulling herself out of her thoughts, she reached for a phone and shot off a text.

Going to be home late, won’t be longer than an hour or two.

And with that she grabbed her bag and headed downstairs, unsure where the conversation she had been putting off all day was going to go.

[amiramorozova]

Tidemaker & Tracker, Dual Summoner & Darkling pt. 5 Soulmate room 1/2

He walked over to the door checking what it connected to as he smirked slightly but I didn't want to know..not yet anyway. I took a seat on the couch as I knew this was going to be something I probably wouldn't forget. I questioned what I walked into but he seemed to be checking things out. "You ever been to a club before Amira?" He asked as I looked at him. "No, I'm afraid not General. First time coming to a club and I certainly did not think I'd have your mark on my neck." I said though that was a lie because I knew that he was my grisha soulmate since he first arrived at my home.

Suddenly the door came open as someone brought in drinks offering one to both of us as I took it and he took the other then left us. I looked at it wondering what exactly was in this and was every grisha soulmate pair gave it. When he came to join me on the couch he looked at me and seemed to be taking in my features. "You're Amara's daughter, are you not? She lied the day I came to visit saying that her girls were not Grisha." He said as I looked at him wondering what he meant as I took a sip of the drink.

He showed me his wrists that had both my small science on either wrist "Everytime you and I have been in close contact your symbols show up. We don't have a term for your kind of power, one who is not only one small science but two." He said as I looked at the symbols but took a sip of the drink again. "my sister calls it Dual summoning, I'm not the only one in the family who has it but I am the only tidemaker and Sun Summoner." I said as I knew that was the truth and he drank the drink.

"So you're the only one like this..what is the other?" He asked as if he could get answers. I knew my cousin was but then he was not looking for him as I looked at him "Tidemaker and Inferni." I said as I got up to walk around the room having more of the drink. The taste was odd but then I don't drink very often, in fact I'd almost say something was in the drink as I kept drinking it but as I walked around to check the room finally looking where he had seeing the room that had a bed.

Soulmate rooms...used for hooking up? Maybe I shouldn't be here.. I thought

I had drank most of the drink so that thought was a bit late as I noticed I was feeling different. When I turned to walk away from the ring I noticed I met him face to face though he was taller than me by a few inches I was able to still look at him. I even noticed he had drank most of his drink and he was seeming to take in my appearance as he looked at my eyes before my lips.

Placing a hand under my chin he lifted my head a little as he leaned down and I should have innerly panicked but I was distracted by the new feeling within me as he got close that I could feel his breath. "You can stop me.." He whispered as I felt so tempted by him and I closed the gap between our lips.

He kissed me as we both were entranced by the feeling within us that I hadn't even done a whole lot of thinking about what was happening. As we kissed for a few minutes we eventually parted long enough to finish the drinks and set them aside. Once that was done he had his mouth on mine again as we kissed. I felt him lift up the dress I had so he could get a good grip picking me up and setting me on the table as we made out.

His hands were on the back of my dress where it was keeping it on me but he pulled away and I didn't like that he did. "why?" I asked as he seemed to be looking at me. My mind wasn't thinking clearly after that drink and my body felt like it wanted something but what it was I couldn't figure out for sure.

"You're beautiful...but are you sure about this?" He asked as if he was looking for my consent with what was going on. I didn't know what to say at the moment as I looked at him knowing that I could regret this later. I should have probably said no considering I barely knew him but we were soulmates..this may have been our only interaction as my father would never allow me to be with him.

Father would stand in the way of what the saints have deemed to be...and he said no that I'd never be around this man.. I thought

I knew my actions to come in this room with him is what had led me here as I knew I had to answer him. He was waiting for the answer from my mouth that would either make this moment go to another level or we would just reamin as were right now. His lips were close to mine still as he waited for my answer..

"Yes." I said -continue into pt. 2-

TagList: @lifeisingrey​,  @houseoftoomanyfandoms​, @mizelophsun11​, @budugu​  

[bakuhoes-dumbass]

Aberration - Chapter 1

MHA!Various x Fem!Reader

Thriller/Horror/Drama

Criminal!AU

Words: 2.3k

A/N: Yay, here’s the first chapter of my new AU! It might be a little slower at first but it’ll pick up the further we get into it. So I hope you like this!

Warnings: Yandere Themes, Mentions of murder, blood, felonies, bullying, swearing.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of MHA, just this story. In no way does this reflect the characters, writers or VAs of the show/manga. MINORS DNI.

~~~

Aberration Masterlist/Character profiles

~~~

In this world, mutations, renamed as ‘Quirks’, are abnormal. Only about 5%-8% of the world population are known to have these so called ‘Quirks’. You are a graduate of one of the most prestigious science tech schools in the country. You’ve been selected to work for a secret scientific research facility that houses some of the most notorious criminals in the nation. Besides their crimes, what makes these individuals incredibly dangerous are their mutations. After meeting these individuals, they seem to have taking a liking to you. That should make your research and search for the cure all that much easier…

Right?

~~~

Before you stands one of the largest facilities you have ever seen. You take a deep breath, attempting to calm your rapidly beating heart. Adjusting the strap on your bag, you make your way into the research center.

Upon entering, you gasp in wonder. The inside is huge, tall pure white walls that meet at a double paned glass ceiling. In front of you is a wall of security, stretching to accommodate the vast interior of the lobby. You walk up to the nearest security officer and give them your information. Thankfully, you were on a list and after checking you over, you're granted entrance to the building.

That's where you meet a man and a woman, both dressed in white lab coats and carrying clipboards. You bow your head to the two of them and they return the gesture.

"Ms. Y/N, I presume? My name is Shota Aizawa and this is my assistant, Momo Yaoyorozu." The older of the two speak.

You smile at the two. "Yes, nice to meet you. I'm Y/N, L/N, graduate of UA science tech. I am so happy to be here and look forward to working with the two of you."

The younger girl nods and smiles, gesturing behind the two of them. "If you would kindly follow us, we can get started."

~~~

"Ms. Y/N, here's the list of the inmates you will be working with from this point on."

Momo hands you a clipboard containing pictures and descriptions of each individual. Your eyes scan the information on the page in front of you, your brow raising with each word you read. "There is… quite a bit of information on these individuals."

Aizawa nods. "Considering how dangerous the subjects are, it's best to have every detail we can."

You internally cringed at the term 'subject'. These were criminals, yes, but they were still living breathing people. Noone deserves to be dehumanized, no matter the reason.

Shaking your head of those thoughts, you continue to look over the notes in your hands. One in particular catches your eye. " 'Multiple counts of 3rd degree murder by reason of insanity' and yet he's only deemed as a level 4 danger?"

The doctor looks over your shoulder at the character profile. "Ah, yes. Fumikage Tokoyami. He's an interesting one, to say the least." You wait for him to continue, but seeing as it doesn't seem like he will, you gesture for him to elaborate. "Tokoyami himself is actually fairly harmless and incredibly cooperating, which is why he gets a level 4 only. However…" Aizawa looks down the hall of the facility to a door near the end. "Dark Shadow is deemed a level 9."

Your eyes shoot up in shock. "Dark Shadow? A level 9? Explain."

"Dark Shadow is his mutation. It's a completely sentient being that he harbors inside of him. Highly dangerous, more so if there is darkness." He looks back at you. "I'll let him explain the reason why he was instituted. He always prefers to explain the story himself."

The more Aizawa explains Tokoyami's situation, the more your excitement builds up, wanting desperately to meet this man. This was such an interesting mutation and you couldn't wait to hear everything he had to tell you. You take a breath to calm your childish manner and clear your throat.

"If it's alright with you, sir, I'd like-" You look down at your clipboard once again. "'Inmate 06' to be the first one I meet with."

Aizawa nods and writes something down in his notebook. "Very well. Follow me this way please."

You follow the doctor down the long white hallway, your excitement growing with each step. Along the way, you notice each door on the facility that lines either side of the stretched hall. Each door had a narrow window towards the top and a small number engraved underneath. You don't take too much notice and keep following the doctor to your destination. However, an eerie feeling makes you freeze in your tracks.

You slowly rotate your head and look at the inmate's door you stopped next to. The color drains from your face as you see two ice blue eyes peering right into yours. It felt like your breath was stolen, a hint of fear and anxiety built up within you from this intense gaze. After what felt like hours, you snap your gaze back to Aizawa and Momo, who were standing in front of a door you were also supposed to be at.

"I would highly advise you to keep cautious while you are in this facility. While we keep all inmates in cuffs that neutralize their mutations, the technology has not been 100% perfected yet and parts of their powers may leak out. That is why we have additional precautionary measures in place for each inmate." Aizawa gives you an impartial look as you walk over. "Now. The only special precaution with Inmate 06 is the lights must stay on at all times. There are no light switches in his cell, so nothing should go wrong. But like I said, always stay cautious."

You nod your head at the doctor's words and turn to face the door. Aizawa places a hand onto the keypad next to the door, scanning his prints before buzzing and opening the door. You give the man one last nod before making your way inside the room. The room itself is bare. White floors, white walls and an equally white ceiling. Nothing was in there except a desk with a chair and a bed.

On top of that bed sat a young man with the body of a human and the head of a crow. Your eyes widen in awe at the beautiful being in front of you. Tokoyami tilts his head and gives you a curious look.

"Oh. Hello, there. I've never seen you before."

The deep voice of the man shocks you. You bow your head and give the bird man a smile. "Hello, Tokoyami. My name is Y/N. I'm the new scientist at this facility. I'm here to get to know and observe you all to help further our findings for a cure. I hope we can be friends."

Tokoyami blinks. "You want to be… friends? With us?"

"Yeah, of course. Why not?" Your smile never leaves your face.

"Well, maybe because we're all… felons? The greater majority of us being murderers?"

"I truly believe everyone deserves a second chance." You gesture to the desk chair, silently asking if you could sit. The man nods and you greatly take your seat. "Now, would you ever be so kind as to answer a few questions for me, Tokoyami? I would like to get to know you a little better." You take out your pen and notebook, opening to a fresh page.

Tokoyami nods again and you give him a smile. "Just a few standard questions first. Can you please state your full name, age and date of birth?"

"Fumikage Tokoyami, age 22, October 30th."

"What is the name of your quirk and how does it work?"

Tokoyami fiddles with the quirk-cancelling cuffs around his wrists at the mention of his quirk but answers anyway. "It's called Dark Shadow. It's a fully sentient shadow that resides inside my body. It can come out when I call call it or it can show itself on it's own. But it's always connected to me and cannot be separated. It…" Tokoyami takes a breath. "It gets stronger the darker my surroundings are. So the less light, the less control I have over it. If it gets too dark, it completely takes over me, no longer under my control."

The longer you listen to him, the wider your eyes get and the more they shine in wonder. "That is incredible! To have that kind of quirk is truly fascinating!"

Hearing your words of praise would have made Tokoyami blush, if he could. He clears his throat in embarrassment. "Why, thank you for those kind words. Though, I doubt having this...quirk, as you say, is all to be impressed about."

You shake your head. "You may not think so, but really, I've never seen anything like it." You excitedly write a few things down before making eye contact with him again. "Now onto my final question of the day. Can you please tell me the reason why you are here?"

Tokoyami stays silent for a moment, staring at nothing in particular, residing in his thoughts. You clear your throat and he looks up to you. You give him a small, comforting smile and it causes Tokoyami's heart to beat harder. For some unknown reason, he suddenly feels like he can trust you with anything.

"I've been charged with multiple counts of 3rd degree murder." He sighs, recalling that day. "I was invited to a college party on a date, by someone whom I had grown quite infatuated with. I never really was one to socialize and never really had any friends. But I really liked this person, so I went. At first it was going okay, nothing too out of the ordinary. Then, the host decided that playing truth or dare was the way to go.

 So my date dragged me to sit down and join them. Every time I was asked, I always chose truth. And everytime, their questions were about my appearance, my mutation. Laughing at all my answers, mocking my looks, talking about how unnatural I was. The more they asked, the more my anxiety and anger built up. But my stubbornness didn't want to show any weakness, so I stayed. 

Finally, I decided to just choose dare instead. At that point, I decided that nothing could be more humiliating than what they've already done." His sharp, red eyes flickered to yours. "Oh, how wrong I was. They dared me to go into the closet with my so-called 'date'. We were shut in and from then, they decided to tell me how this whole thing was a set up, just to humiliate me. That anyone with mutations like myself should just disappear because of how disgusting we are." He spits out that word like it was rotten food. "Remember how I said Dark Shadow gains control in the dark? Well, with my anger rising and the fact that it was almost pitch black in that closet, I lost control of myself and Dark Shadow took control of me. Next thing I remember, I was standing in the middle of the college dorm party, blood painting the floors, the walls, and the entirety of my class slaughtered."

You almost dropped your pen in shock but regained your composure. You give the poor young man a sad smile. He sighs and finishes off his explanation. "I was arrested and charged with multiple counts of 3rd degree murder by reason of insanity, considering I was technically not in my right state of mind at the time."

The two of you sit there in silence, basking in all this new-found information. You close your notebook and set your pen down, facing Tokoyami directly. "Listen to me. There is nothing wrong with the way you look or your quirk. Just because it isn't the societal norm, doesn't mean it's disgusting or wrong. Remember that."

Tokoyami blinks in surprise."Um, thank you." Those were the only words he could say, as how shocked he was at what you said.

You tilt your head and stare at him. "If I may ask, would I be able to feel your head? I'm very curious as to what your feathers feel like. It would greatly help my research as well."

"Oh. U-um, yeah. Sure."

You move to gently sit next to Tokoyami, so as to not startle him too much. You slowly lift your hand and place it on his head, eyes lighting up as you card your fingers through his feathers. "Oh wow, they're so soft!"

Tokoyami's heart speeds up, his feathers ruffling at your touch. He gazes at you with something akin to admiration. No one was ever gentle with him like this before. After another few seconds, you retreat your hand, Tokoyami almost whimpering at the absence.

"Well, I better get going. I have quite a few more things to do today before my shift is over." You gather up your things and bow your head at the half bird boy. "I greatly appreciate your time and look forward to our future sessions. Have a good rest of your day!" You smile at Tokoyami before heading back to the door and signaling Aizawa to open it.

"Goodbye, Ms. Y/N. I look forward to meeting with you again." Tokoyami watches you leave his room. Once you're gone, he runs his hand through his feathers, imagining they were your fingers.

As the door closes, you turn to Aizawa who gives you a disappointed look.

"What?"

"You touched the inmate. Why in the hell would you do that?"

You place your hand on your hip and give the doctor a stern look. "I was curious about his mutation and wanted to see how it felt."

He sighs and runs a hand down his face. "We try to avoid any physical contact with any of the inmates, as it may trigger something deep within them. Remember, Y/N. Every single one of these individuals are dangerous and unstable. Any abnormal behavior could result in catastrophic consequences."

You sigh and shake your head, giving him a chaste nod. "Yes, Sir. You're right. I promise to heed your warning and modify how I work."

The doctor looks satisfied as he turns on his heel and walks further down the long hallway. You quickly follow to keep up. "Now, on to your next subject. Inmate 04, Eijiro Kirishima." You flip the page of your inmate profiles to see a picture of a red-haired man. "He is of a higher danger level, so make sure to keep your guard up. And for the love of God, under any circumstances…

Do not touch him."

~~~

Taglist: @theblueslytherin @sterassion @somechick30003 @meena-in-a-nutshell @justtj-andnonumberspls @zombieonna @amajikiwife @yulifee @atexansadventureintokinkandlife @ep-ip-ha-ny @hcneymilkks @pastelmoonwitche @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l @railmeddy @unlimitedfirepheonix @confaegion @drownedbytears @burntcrips @silverqueenie @the-lady-writes-what @awkward-confused 

[If your name is bolded, I was unable to tag you.]

[seokjinsdisciple]

forbidden fruit - part one

mark x reader (literally all smut and completely self-indulgent)

mark is the epitome of innocence. pastor’s son and good christian boy. can he be tempted by the forbidden fruit?

UNEDITED

if you see this and you know me. inreal life, no you didn’t 

word count: 3.8k (blame red wine me)

warnings: language, fingering, choking kinda? (mark chokes himself), mutual masturbation, mommy kink, handjob, sub mark, blowjob, mentions of virginity and religion, uh wet dreams, sex toys, probably more lmk what i missed

You had met Mark 3 years ago in your church’s youth group. You never really liked church if you were honest, finding the whole thing rather stupid. However, Mark made coming to church very worth it. He was your age, the pastor’s son and probably the most handsome boy in your small town. 

You spent your high school years pining after the boy. Your hormones were out of control and associating all horniness with his face. A real problem when you had to spend hours with him at church. 

You ran into him one day on your campus your freshman year, his face lighting up as the two of you made small talk. You talked pretty regularly after that, becoming closer than you had been before, and when the two of you moved in together you thought all of your wet dreams were about to come true. 

At least until Mark drunkenly confessed to you one night that he was “like totally a virgin, dude.” 

The two of you were giggling messes, too many bottles of empty soju surrounding where you sat on the floor. Mark’s cheeks were deep red seconds after the words came out of his mouth. 

“Yo, I can’t believe I just said that, omg,” he said, hands covering his face as his ears reddened. 

“It’s ok, Mark,” you giggled, pulling his hands off of his face, “I kinda figured you were.”

You hadn’t, but you didn’t want him to feel embarrassed, and you certainly didn’t want him to stop talking about it. 

“Really?” he asked, a hopeful look on his face, “are you too?”

“No,” you giggled, hands covering your own face now, Mark’s whine ringing out in your mostly empty living room. 

“This-uh,” Mark whispered, “Sorry if this is uh- a weird question and you totally don't have to answer if you don't want to dude, but what did it feel like?”

So you told him, you answered every question he had that night. And when the two of you drunkenly parted ways, it was with a stickiness between your legs and an obvious tent in his pants. And that was the start of your current relationship with Mark.

It had been awkward at first, after that night. But he had started asking you more and more questions. They started off innocently enough, like what kissing felt like. Yeah, he was that innocent. But the questions started getting more and more sexual, and it was getting harder and harder to control yourself around him. 

You found yourself starting off simply at first. Changing what you wore around the house. It began by you wearing shorter and shorter pj bottoms. And then by wearing tops that gradually increased in sheerness, until you started just wearing oversized t-shirts. Losing pieces of underwear as you went.

Yeah, you were trying to seduce him. But who could blame you? Mark was the center of your wet dreams, and he had been so since the start of 8th grade. So who were you to deny his request?

It had been a regular Tuesday, classes attended and dinner shared when a blushing Mark had turned to you on the couch. 

“Something has been happening to me,” he confessed, his bright pink cheeks enough to make you soften. 

“Are you ok?” you had asked, completely convinced that he had never approached any topic like this before with you. 

“It’s just-,” he started, glancing nervously to the clasped hands in his lap, “I’ve been thinking about all the answers you’ve given me about...sex and all that. And well everytime that happens, I get this...heat in my abdomen. And no matter what I can’t make it go away.”

“Mark-,” you breathed out, glancing swiftly down to where, sure enough, there was a tent in his pants, “Are you talking about being horny?”

“I don’t- I don’t know what you mean,” he whispered, flushing an (impossibly) deeper shade of pink. 

“Oh sweetheart,” you whispered, “Are you feeling the heat in your abdomen now?”

You smiled gently as he nodded shyly back at you. Encouraging him with your facial expression as you hummed in acknowledgement.

“This is called being horny, Mark.” you spoke, much more calmly and clearly than you thought possible because of the heat tickling your own lower half. “What do you normally do when you feel this way?”

“I-I don’t normally do anything,” Mark admitted, eyes flicking up to yours for just a moment before settling back to his own clasped hands, “I just try to distract myself until it goes away.”

“Oh you poor thing,” you whispered, drawing your hand up to Mark’s face and caressing it gently, “Have you ever made yourself cum, Mark?”

Mark looked up at you again, confusion on his brow as he shook his head, “I don’t know-know what you mean.”

“You’re such a sweet angel,” you said, “Would you like me to show you how you can make it go away?”

Mark’s eyes connected with yours, and finally, they stayed there. He looked deep in thought, but before you could rush to apologize and hurry back to your room, he spoke.

“You can make it go away?” he asked hesitantly, and god did you want to ruin him on the spot. Wrap your lips around him and make him curse the lord he so deeply believed in. But you held back. The last thing you wanted to do was scare him away. 

“I can show you,” you spoke slowly, “if you want me to.”

“I think I might like that,” he whispered, the bob of his adams apple making you grow damp between your thighs. There was just something about Mark that made you insatiably hungry. And not for a meal. 

You scooted closer to him on the couch, ignoring the thumping of your heart and the wetness between your legs as you spoke, “I’m gonna tell you what you need to do. And you’re gonna listen, aren't you, baby?”

Mark’s eyes widened as he gulped, but he still nodded his head. You felt a little bad for how nervous he seemed, considering how excited you were. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” You asked, analyzing his face closely. When he nodded you just tutted at him, “I need words, Mark.”

“Yeah,” he spoke, “I really want to do this.”

“Okay,” you smiled gently at him, “I want you to start by letting your hands explore. Touch everywhere, slowly, and find what feels best for you, Mark.”

You watched intently as he slowly brought his hand up to his neck, letting his fingers hesitantly dance across his skin. His eyes shot to yours when he shuddered, unable to stop himself. 

“Is-is that good?” he asked, whining as he dropped his hand to his chest. 

“You’re doing so good, Mark,” you encouraged, hesitantly placing your hand on his thigh, “Is it ok if I touch you like this?”

Mark nodded so quickly you almost laughed, the blush dusting his cheeks almost as cute as the way he squirmed under your grasp. His breathing increased as you crept your fingers slowly up his thigh. You let your hand rest on his hip, splaying your fingers so close to his dick but so far away.

“You’re- you’re making it worse,” he stuttered out, letting out a shocked moan as his fingers brushed over his nipple.

“No, baby,” you smirked at him, “I’m making it better.”

Mark’s cock jumped in his sweats, his blush deepening as he let out another quiet moan, “I- I like it when you call me that.”

“Hmm,” you hummed, “I’m glad you like being called baby, it suits you.”

His breath hitched as you dipped a finger beneath the band of his sweats, letting it rest there. You smiled when his hands met yours, grabbing his pants and tugging them off. You almost moaned as his glistening red cock slapped his stomach. He hadn’t been wearing underwear. 

“What do I do now?” he whispered, eyes blown out with lust and hair perfectly tousled. 

You let your finger trail up to where a bead of precum rested on the head of his dick. You watched as his face scrunched in pleasure, breath knocked out of him as you swirled the wetness around the tip. 

“Make sure your hand is wet enough,” you said, spitting into your hand, smirking as Mark’s eyes shot open at the noise, flickering down to where your hand was hovering over his cock. 

You watched as he swallowed, his own fingers curling into the couch as he said, “Will you please touch me now?”

“How could I say no when my baby asks so nicely,” you said, eyes never leaving his face as you finally wrapped a hand around his length. 

Mark was a sight to behold. Sweat glistened on his forehead as you wrapped your hand tightly around his cock. The guttural moan he let out was enough to have you cumming in your pants, but you held strong. Well as strong as you could as he clung onto your form. You dragged your hand slowly up his length, thumb flicking over the head of his cock as he groaned into your shoulder. 

You felt on top of the world, Mark’s pleasure the direct response to every flick of your wrist. You barely recognized him. Whining, needy mess as he mewled into your shoulder. 

“Mo-mommy,” he whimpered, hands quickly finding your core, “Can I touch you too?”

Who were you to deny your polite boy, quickly and ungracefully shoving your panties to the side to give Mark an easier access to your heat. You’d be lying if you said the term mommy had no effect on you. In fact, you were dripping at this point, just one look at Mark enough to make your pussy throb in need. Not that you would tell him that. 

“Baby,” you said quietly, guiding Mark’s over-enthusiastic hand to your clit, “right here, keep rubbing in circles.”

“Yes, mommy,” he whimpered, shoving his reddened face into your shoulder as your wrist moved quicker up and down his length. 

“Good boy,” you groaned, squirming where you sat on the couch as Mark slipped a finger into your dripping cunt. 

You were getting each other off at an inhuman pace, the two of you squirming and wiggling where you sat. The pleasure of it all too much to take. This was Mark’s first time feeling any contact on his cock, and you’d be lying if you said you never dreamed of Mark’s fingers pumping into you at the pace they were now. 

This was the definition of a wet dream, for both of you. And as you came with his fingers reaching a place in you no one else had reached before, you were determined to make Mark cum. 

You flicked your thumb around the head of his cock, watching with half lidded eyes as he shuddered. He was putty in your hands, and there was no way in hell that he would ever be able to touch himself the way you were touching him now. And you didn’t care. The only thing you cared about in this moment was throwing him off the edge with you. Corrupting that sweet little church boy the only way you knew how. 

It was with a satisfying grin and an earth-shattering moan from Mark as you watched cum spurt from him. Eyes scrunched in pleasure as his entire body shook with a feeling he had never experienced before. An orgasm. 

You watched in wonder as he clung onto you. Sweat dripped from his forehead as he threw his head back on the couch. You watched as his cock twitched as rope after rope of cum sprung from him, years of pent up pleasure finally releasing at your hands. You had never felt more powerful in that moment. 

You parted that night with a sweet kiss to his lips after cleaning him up. Boneless Mark even more pliable than before, and as much as you hated yourself for it, you couldn’t stop thinking about what you could do to a sleepy Mark. That night there was no awkwardness between you. 

That, of course, changed as time passed, both of you ignoring the mutual pleasure you had achieved by the other's hand. You ignored any feelings you had, whether it be attraction or lust. Mark deliberately avoided you, and as much as you hated to admit it, but you avoided him too. 

You were convinced the two of you would never recover from this, from your experimentation with each other's bodies. At least until he burst into your room one Sunday afternoon, notably after his father’s church service, with a question and burning cheeks. 

“Have you ever given a blowjob?” he asked, the door to your bedroom swinging into the wall with a loud bang that neither of you could hear. 

“Mark?” you asked, putting your laptop to the side as you looked quizzically up at him.

“I watched one..porn video about it last week and I haven't been able to focus since.”

“You watch porn now?” you asked, raising a critical eyebrow as you looked him up and down.

“I-, no” Mark stuttered, face flushing an impossibly deeper shade of red, “yes, what about it?”

“You sound sure of yourself,” you teased, “come sit.”

“Never mind-”Mark rushed out, turning away from you and hurrying towards your open door. 

“Sit, Mark. Now please,” you spoke, dominance in your tone as you watched his body language change. 

You smiled softly to yourself as he shuffled to your bed, sitting on the edge and avoiding your gaze. 

“Did you have a question for me, baby?”

You almost laughed as he sighed, body immediately relaxing at the nickname he had told you he loved so much. 

“I was just wondering,” he said, glancing up at you and losing his confidence, “haveyouevergivenablowjob?”

“What was that? I couldn’t quite catch that, Mark,” you said, knowing glance as you watched his lips form into a perfect pout.

“Are you really gonna make me ask again,” he whispered, looking down from where his eyes previously met yours. 

“Yes, baby, I am.”

You grasped his hand as he whined, squeezing his palm slightly as he pouted up at you. 

“Have you ever given a blowjob?” he whispered, eyes glancing to every corner of the room to avoid your gaze. 

“I have.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle as his eyes met yours curiously. Fingers playing with your comforter as you watched the wheels turning in his brain. You were begging him to ask, practically groveling for him to say the words that would fuel the corruption kink you had solely for Mark. 

“Can you…” Mark started, scotting subconsciously closer to you, “can you give me one?”

“Well that depends on you, Mark. Do you think you deserve my mouth?”

You watched with bated breath as he nodded, a tent already fully formed in his pants as the conversation went on.

“What makes you think you deserve it, huh? You’ve been ignoring me for weeks, Mark. After Mommy made you feel so good. You ignored me, and now I find out you’ve been watching porn. Being such a naughty boy. Doesn’t really seem right to give you my mouth.”

You had him now, hook line and sinker. He was trapped, listening to every one of your words, waiting with bated breath as you made up your mind. 

“I- I’ve never felt it before, Mommy. I promise I’ll be better next time. I’ll do better next time. Just please suck me off,” he begged, filthy words dripping from his mouth in desperation. 

“I’m ruining you, Mark,” you whispered, ���Absolutely destroying your sweet innocence. What about your God, Mark? Would he want you to beg for my mouth like you just did?”

“I-,” he started, quieting as you pushed a finger towards his lips. 

“It’s ok, baby. I’ll make you worship that God of yours in a way you didn’t even know was possible. 

You steadied his shaking body as you switched him places on your bed. Sitting in front of him in your disgustingly dirty pj top and messy bun as he laid in front of you. You tugged his pants down, licking your lips in want as his cock slapped his stomach. 

You wanted this just as much as he did, evident by your drool and dirty thoughts. You hadn’t noticed his sizable length before, too focused on all of the other unbelievable things that had happened before wrapping your hand around his cock. You took it all in now, the glory of Mark’s cock, pulsing red and so incredibly hard in need. If he hadn’t whimpered you would’ve stared at this beautiful sight for hours. But he was needy and so were you. So you wrapped your mouth around him. And dear God was Mark a sight to behold.

He had stars in his eyes as your tongue ran up the length of his cock. He could barely contain himself as his hips bucked up into your mouth. Politeness leaving his body as he followed his craving for pleasure. 

Within seconds his hands were in your hair. Tugging as you worked your mouth over his sensitive length. He was barely holding it together, and the second you reached the bottom of his cock, he cursed. 

His hips were itching to move, you could feel the way they bucked ever so slightly as you took him. Your hands grasped his thigh tightly as he unintentionally pushed your head down. You were taking as much as he gave you, and as he whined in pleasure you couldn’t help  A second later he wasn’t touching you anymore, eyes wide when you glanced up at him. 

“So-sorry,” he whispered, for what you weren’t sure. 

“What’s wrong, Mark?” you asked gently. 

“I should go,” he said, face paling as he scooted further away from you on the bed, “This isn’t right.”

You stood up quickly, sitting beside him and cupping his face in your hands, “Mark you can go if you want to, I won’t stop you. But do you really think something that felt so good could be bad?”

“I-I don’t know,” he whispered, shying away from your touch, “I’m going to the library.”

He stood up quickly, half tripping as he tried to pull his pants back up, fumbling with himself and the door as he tried to leave. 

“Mark,” you called out to him, waiting until he turned to meet your gaze before continuing, “It’s ok that you aren’t ready yet. But I’m always here if you have more questions.”

He nodded at you, “Thank you, for understanding,” blush returning to his cheeks as he spoke, “I feel comfortable around you, Yn.”

He closed the door after he left, and while your Sunday afternoon was spent attached to a vibrator, you were glad Mark had felt comfortable enough with you to tell you that he wasn’t comfortable. 

Maybe you had pushed him too far, and as much as it killed you, you were glad he was taking his time. If your baby wasn’t ready to go any further than handjobs, then that was that. He was too innocent to be corrupted, which is what made corrupting him all the better. 

Yes, Mark had been full of curiosity and questions. But you were the one who wasn’t ready for the question he asked next.

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

[welcome-to-agency-bakugou]

the bnha boys reaction to hearing you call your child mijo/mija

A/N: i just thought that this was a cute idea because getting called mija by my dad always makes me so happy

pairings: Denki x GN! Reader, Midoriya x GN! Reader, Todoroki x GN! Reader, Bakugou x GN! Reader, Aizawa x GN! Reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None

Denki

 he would be watching you two from the porch while you play with your child

 he watches as your son falls and scrapes his knee, denki walks over to you two to see you wiping your son’s tears with the pads of your thumbs

 “It’s ok mijo.” you smile at your son

 “How could you call our son a ‘hoe’?!” he covers your son’s ears

 “What?” you tilt your head

 once you find out why he thought you said that you start to laugh your ass off

Midoriya

 the first time he hears you call your daughter mija is at the hospital when you first see her

 you quickly hold her in your arms while she sleeps, tears of joy falling from your face and a smile spread so wide, your eyes were left no other choice but to close

 this look was also sported on your husbands face too

 “I’m going to spoil you mija.” 

 midoriya, your husband, would look up to your face and smile so wide once hearing you say that.

 now everytime, even at your daughter’s graduation 18 years later, he smiles when you call her that

Todoroki

 he would have just come back home after work when you excitingly grab his arm and drag him to the living room where his son and an xylophone sit in front of the couch

 “Go on mijo, show him what I thought you.” you would smile at him

 “Ummm Y/N?”

 “Hmm?” 

 “I don’t think he knows spanish.”

Bakugou

 It would be one of the mornings that you share with your husband and daughter, he would be sitting in his normal chair scrolling through the HN on his phone while you fed your daughter

 “Come on mija, one more bite. please for mommy?” you say in a soft tone

 “What did that mean again?” he looks up, a small smile gracing his lips as he say the love of his life taking care of their child.

 “Did the all mighty Dynamight forget?” you tease

 “Shut up.” he looks back at his phone, the smile still present on his lips

 “Shut up! Shut up!” 

 you both shoot your heads to your daughter

”Bakugou i swear to god.” you speak through gritted teeth but it was clear that you were pissed and a certain blonde.

Aizawa

 you and the child would be playing with the cat in the bed room you shared with Aizawa

 he would be in the bathroom getting ready for bed because the chance that he’s going to stay awake for the movie is slim

 the first thing he hears when he gets out of the bathroom would be

 “Mijo be careful, you don’t want to scare Socks away.” 

 he would wrap his arms around your shoulders and nuzzle his face in the crook of your neck and smile hard knowing that you just may be the only person in Japan that uses spanish terms like that

 it was moments like these that he knew he was so lucky to have you

[midgardianweasley]

The Royal Ball

The Royal Ball

Loki laufeyson x Fem!reader

Summary: There is an Asgard ball being hosted in the palace, Y/N is yet to find a date to accompany her. She’s disappointed when a certain God doesn’t ask her, however, what happens when he sees someone else getting a little too close for comfort throughout the night?

Warnings: lil bit angsty, self doubt, JEALOUS LOKI, fluffy ending

Word Count: 3.3k

Message/ask if you’d like to be added to the taglist!

Requests are open loves <3

Y/F/N - Your Friend’s Name

It was a beautiful autumn’s day, crisp brown leaves were falling off of the large trees in the courtyard and scattering the cobbled ground. Loki and I had been wandering around for some time now, discussing everything from the books we’ve been reading to the dreams that have come to us in our sleep.

“And then this huge ghost thing was chasing me around the halls! and if that wasn’t weird enough, you popped up-”

“Ah, seeing me in your dreams are we, darling?”  Loki chuckled, taking great pleasure at the fact that he had made an appearance in my subconscious, completely ignoring my distress at being chased by a supernatural being.

“Funny you should say that, right after seeing you, I woke up. The sight must’ve given me quite the scare.” I scoffed, a smile unable to stop itself from making its way onto my face, eyes meeting his, face etched with shock. With a hand to his chest, he spoke again in disbelief.

“You have truly offended me, love. I never knew you had this side to you.”

“What can I say? I’m a woman of many talents.” I winked, nudging his side slightly with my elbow.

“Really? Can you produce illusions?”

“No.”

“Look inside other people’s heads?”

“Well, no, but-”

“Turn yourself into a snake to scare your eight year old brother?”

“I still can’t believe you did that”

“My greatest achievement yet.” He smirked, the memory never failing to amuse him.

His stories always had me in awe of his capabilities, even if it was to give his brother a long-term fear, it was still an incredible talent. Whenever he tells me of his latest adventures or tricks, I always think of how well his title fits him. God of Mischief. Maybe that’s why I liked him much more than what a best friend should, not that I'd ever admit it. Not to him anyway.

We soon found ourselves standing next to one of the windows of the hallway, the crystal clear glass giving a beautiful view of the city of Asgard. From here, you could see the Queen’s gardens, full of flowers in all different colours and types, grass cut to perfection. You could see the families in the town, walking around the different buildings, children playing. It was lovely to watch, seeing everyone enjoy the seasonal weather and the light bounce off of the windows, it was ethereal.

“I never get tired of this.” I sighed, voice only slightly above a whisper

“Tired of what, love?”

“Just, this. This view, this kingdom, it’s incredible.” I looked up at Loki, trying to see if he was seeing the same beauty that I did. He was already looking at me when I met his eyes and upon seeing the way they sparkled, I assumed he did.

“Actually, speaking of the Kingdom, I have something to tell you. There’s-”

Abruptly stopping him from continuing his sentence, voices were heard from the other end of the hallway, though we couldn’t make out the words until they came closer. We gave each other a quick look of confusion before turning to see where the commotion was coming from, hearing the quick and heavy footsteps before being able to put names to the faces.

“Loki! Y/N!” A deep voice bellowed. Was that Thor making all of that noise?

Before I could process any more information, a blur of a pastel pink dress was in my face and hands were placed on my shoulders. I smiled down at the slightly out of breath figure using me as a support stand, it was Y/F/N.

“Wow, Y/F/N, you sound much different than when I spoke to you yesterday, did you drink something funny?” I chuckled, receiving a glare from my friend and a quiet laugh from the God beside me. Thor soon appeared next to Y/F/N, hands on his hips and head thrown back as he tried to compose himself.

“My God, Y/F/N, you run fast.” He pants.

“Care to tell us why you’re both running like madmen through the palace?” Loki speaks, one eyebrow raised in curiosity and what looked a little like concern.

“We..had to..tell you..there’s a ball..next week.” Y/F/N spoke, a bit more stable now, but still in between breaths.

I felt my eyes widen, a ball? I didn’t know Asgard held balls.

“Father is opening up the palace next week to neighbouring kingdoms, in hopes to be closer with them, open Asgard up to more trade opportunities, build relationships and whatnot.” Thor explained, emitting a loud sigh to come from Loki.

“I was just about to tell her, brother. Thank you for interrupting.” He rolled his eyes, half joking, half serious. I reached up and patted his shoulder gently, a small smile on my face.

“Maybe next time Lok” He nodded in response, I didn’t get a chance to comfort him much more before I was being pulled away by Y/F/N. With a small huff of surprise, I gave Loki a glance, silently apologising for our conversation being cut short, receiving a shake of his head in reply, affirming me to not worry about it.

“So.” she begins. “We need to find you a date and a dress. I’m thinking blue. I’m wearing purple so it’s probably best to avoid that one. Hmm. let’s see..oh! I know! we could- Y/N? You listening?” I snapped my head around, not missing the sly smile that was plastered all over my friend’s face.

“Y/F/N, don’t-”

“Loki! He has to be your date. You could wear green and match! If he’s even going to wear green, I'm sure I can get Thor to find out, I assume they’ll get ready together. And black accessories! I have so many ideas.” She clapped her hands, over-excited about the opportunity to plan this evening for us. Except for one minor detail.

“That sounds great, Y/F/N, it sounds wonderful, you’re just missing something.”

“Missing something? Oh, if you mean our hair then i’ve already-”

“No, not our hair. Loki hasn’t asked me, and I doubt he will.” I spoke, the second half coming out more as a whisper, my heart dropping a little at the thought. He’d never really expressed having those kinds of feelings for me and I'd always seen him be close with different girls around the palace, he’ll probably ask one of them.

“He might ask you, you never know what’s around the corner.”

“I guess so, we’ll have to wait and see.”

And that was the last we spoke of it before she went into full planner mode again, while I continued to ponder over all of the thoughts running through my head. I mean, he could ask me, right?

--------------------------

He didn’t.

After talking about it with Y/F/N, I had a glimmer of hope that maybe I was wrong, maybe I hadn’t noticed something that she had, that Loki would approach me and ask me to be his company for the evening.

I spent the next couple of days with him, hoping he would ask me, everytime a pause would appear in conversation, maybe he was finally going to do it. And everytime, a little bit of the hope I had, had fizzled out.

I’d even considered other reasons as to why he hadn’t asked, maybe the King didn’t want him and Thor to have dates so that they could mingle with members of the other kingdoms. Of course that theory had flown right out one of the Palace’s windows when Y/F/N told me that Thor was going to be her date. I was right then, he wasn’t wanting to go with me.

I guess I understood, I’m the best friend, we’d always been that. I think a part of me just thought that maybe he, like me, wanted something a little more. Clearly, I was mistaken.

Y/F/N and I had been getting ready for a while now, our hair was styled to perfection, our dresses were on and both of us were fully accessorized. We were looking at ourselves in the mirror, doing spins and curtseys and gushing over how good the other looked.

“You look amazing tonight, Y/N, really. Loki is missing out.”

“Thank you, and I'm sure his date is beautiful.” I spoke, fidgeting with the fabric of my dress, trying to avoid the subject and the twisting knot in my stomach at the thought of him with someone else all night. “You look incredible! You were right to pick purple, it’s definitely your colour.”

“Y/N’s right, you look gorgeous.” Thor declared, leaning against the doorway sporting a black suit and a dark purple tie, the perfect match with his date’s dress. I could feel my eyes light up when seeing how happy the simple, yet effective comment had made Y/F/N. Rushing over, she engulfed Thor in a hug before leaning up slightly and giving him a peck on the cheek.

“Ah and can’t forget, Y/N, you look stunning tonight.” He gestured to me, arm almost scanning me up and down.

“Stop, you’ll make me blush.” I laughed. “You both head off, I’ll catch up.”

“Are you sure? We don’t mind waiting?” Y/F/N questioned.

“Don’t be silly. You guys go on ahead, I'll meet you there.”

With a nod and a wave, they were off. They really did look like a perfect match tonight. I continued to look at myself in the mirror, fixing any stray hairs, flattening any kinks in my dress. Realistically, I was probably trying to prolong leaving for as long as I could. I was excited, but I was turning up on my own while everyone else had someone, it was a bit nerve-wracking. I still wanted to look my best though.

“Stop trying to convince yourself that you look good, you could literally blow an army of men away by looks alone.” A voice spoke, I spun to see who was speaking, the flash of green was enough to decipher who it was.

“You look lovely tonight, darling.” He grinned, the pet name had set off butterflies in my stomach.

“Thank you. As do you.”

“Well, I did put in an effort, nice to know it’s appreciated.” He joked, a breathy laugh left my lips, entertained by his words.

“Yes, well, I'm sure plenty of others will too.”

“The eyes will never leave me, I'm sure. Unless they’re on you, then I'd be surprised if I get even so much as a glimpse in my direction. Someone is a very lucky guy tonight, that’s for sure.”

“Why do you say that?” I asked, confused by his statement.

“Well, they get to be beside you all evening, it’s a beautiful view.” He winked.

It could’ve been you, I thought. I knew he was joking, however that didn’t stop the fire in me from igniting.

“I could say the same for you, someone is a very lucky girl.”

“I’ll be sure to let her know if she ever thinks otherwise.” Joking, again.

So he had asked someone. Albeit disappointed, I'm happy he’s happy. Though I still wish I was the girl in question, I couldn't stop him if he was interested in someone else. That wasn’t fair.

Giving him a brief nod and a tight lipped smile, I picked up the front of my dress a little bit and made my way out of the room and downstairs to the ball. I could still enjoy myself, the night is young, I've got this.

------------------

“It was crazy! And let me tell you, my dad was so angry with me. He didn’t let me serve Turkey again after that year.” Charlie, a guy that I had met an hour or so ago, finished his story of the Christmas horror he had, allowing me to relax for the first time that evening. Up until now, it had felt like all I’d seen was either happy couples, or stares from across the room. Usually the second and usually Loki. The same Loki who had a girl’s arm linked with his and was looking at him like he held the world in his grasp. I broke the gaze, finding it difficult to look at the pair for any longer, as I turned back to Charlie so he could have my attention again, a lazy smile was present as he took a sip of his wine.

“I don’t blame him, really, it sounds like you started a riot!” I exclaimed, sending us both into a full on belly laugh, thinking back to the story. This continued for another five or so minutes, laughter turning into a low chuckle, as if we were about to be told off for how loud we were being. Just as my hand had reached his arm to help hold me up, saving me from laughing myself into the ground, Loki and his date had made their way over.

“Enjoying ourselves, I hope?” He beamed, taking one look at me before giving his full attention to Charlie.

“Yes, yes we are, thank you. How about the two of you?”

“Ye-”

“It’s been fine, yeah, good. So, what’s your name then?” Loki interrupted, his date having no choice but to leave him to respond instead.

“I’m Charlie Fernsby.” He held his hand out, greeting Loki. A gesture that was very awkwardly not reciprocated as he let his hand fall back to his side before Loki spoke up again.

“Charlie..Charlie, now, isn’t that a girl’s name?”

“Loki!” I scolded, giving him an evil side glance, what was he doing?

“No, no it’s okay. Yeah, it can be used for girls too, but it's common for boys to have the name Charlie.” Polite as ever, he responded. A mischievous look made its way onto the God’s face. Oh no.

“So, I take it your parents wanted a girl?”

“I- I’m sorry?”

“I assume your parents wanted a girl, considering they’ve given you a girl’s name?” I rolled my eyes, this teasing was unnecessary.

“Charlie, let’s go and get a drink.” I tried to tug him away, only to be halted by another sentence leaving my best friend’s mouth.

“It was only a question, I'm sure he doesn’t mind answering, do you Carl?”

“Charlie.”

“That’s what I said.”

“You said-” I tried to interject, but he was quick to stop me

“I know what I said, Y/N, but I'm speaking to him. Let him answer the question.”

Loki’s date was long gone by now, she’d left to speak to another group of people, presumably another few couples, leaving us three to have this discussion, thing, whatever you would think to call it.

“I’m just saying, maybe they would’ve preferred a daughter, seeing as they’ve very obviously made that clear.” He beamed, expecting me to join in and agree with him, I don’t find this funny. At all.

“Can you excuse us, Charlie? Loki, A word.” I pointed to the door, giving him a look implying for him not to test me.

“I’m in trouble. Wish me luck Carlos.”

“Charlie.”

“I know, that’s what I said.”

I pushed him all the way out the door, into the hallway and round the corner so as not to disturb everyone else’s evening. When I’d made sure there was no one else around, I looked up at the Asgardian, my arms crossed, eyebrows furrowed, I wasn’t impressed anymore.

“So, are we out here for some hide or seek, or?”

“What the hell was that in there?!” I raised my voice slightly, his need to always make everything a joke wasn’t working this time. He had his night, his date, he didn’t need to come over and insult mine.

“What was what, darling? I was making conversation.”

“You were making fun of him.”

“No, I showed some concern about his parents choices, that’s all. Friendly advice if anything.” He looked a bit more frustrated with me now, as though he was stating the obvious and it was going over my head. I wasn’t having it this time.

“No, Loki. You weren’t and you know you weren’t. You had your date, she was fine, you were fine-”

“Well-”

“Let me finish. Everything was fine. Until you caught sight of me having a friendly conversation with another guy who wasn’t you. But guess what Lok, I’m allowed to do that! I’m an adult, I can speak with whoever I like!” My arms were all over the place now, my frustration was starting to show itself, it seems I had a bit pent up.

I saw his lips move, I heard something, but it was so quiet I couldn't make it out.

“Speak up, Loki. I can’t hear you.”

“I said, if you think he was just being friendly, you’re clearly out of your mind.”

Is he serious?

“Are you- Loki, you have no right to make a judgement on who and how and why I interact with other people. Not that it should matter to you anyway, you’ve spoken to other women before and I've never said a word or tried to stop you. Why does this matter so much?”

Silence.

“No, please, go on, tell me, enlighten me as to why this bothered you so much tonight, because trust me, I'm dying to know, truly.” I was shouting now, I just wanted answers for his behaviour, I didn’t think it would be this difficult.

His hands had made his way into his trouser pockets, eyes looking everywhere before settling on mine. He looked conflicted, I wanted to drop it when I saw his troubled gaze, but I couldn’t go back in there without an explanation.

“Ple-”

“I like you, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear, love? That I was so uncomfortable seeing some you get close with some guy that I had to embarrass him in front of you? Something I'm sure my father won’t be so impressed to hear, but there, you’ve got your confession.” His voice had gone much louder than mine, taking me by surprise, so much so that it took me a minute to process what he had said. He liked me?

He turned to leave, I assume because I hadn't said anything for a matter of minutes, but I gently grabbed his arm, tugging him back towards me. I looked up into his eyes again. I was so close that you could see the specs of different colours spotted in them, they were flawless. This view beats the Asgard view anyday.

“Why didn’t you mention this before?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know. Worried I guess. We’d never spoken of moving past friendship and I didn’t think you’d be interested.”

“I’m more than interested, Loki.” I grinned, my smile meeting my eyes, never leaving his.

“Not Chelsey?”

“For the love, it’s Ch-”

I couldn’t say his name, a certain pair of lips had stopped me from doing so. As they molded against mine, my hands went up to tangle themselves in his hair, his hands falling to my waist and pulling me closer, I didn’t even think that could be possible. We pulled away when we needed to catch a breath, foreheads falling against each other, smiles painted on both of our faces.

“I bet I'll be in your dreams again tonight.” He whispered.

“I bet I'll be in yours.”

“Always are, Darling. Always are.”

taglist: @horrorxweasley

[junova]

𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐰𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞.

notes: howdy guys, it's been a while. i've been taking a break and finally starting writing again, yay. it's been a rough few months and still treading through it, but i hope you enjoy a piece of my heart with this one.

if it's any consolation, my heart broke while writing this. </3

pairing — boxer!steve rogers x fem!reader

concept — steve has to come with terms of you not wanting him just as much as he wants you.

wc — 6.7k+ [yeah...]

warnings: 18+, themes alluding to sex, emotional cheating, soft!steve, heartbreak, kind of unrequited vibe going on, over all ✨ angst ✨

Even if it was the thousandth time to watch his body move in the ring, you still were memorized by the way he moved. You were in complete admiration of how his hips flowed so fluidly through his punches. Just like always, he was aware of your presence as you stood next to Sam and Wanda, both of them with proud smiles on their faces as he defeated yet another opponent.

Watching as they raised his arm, declaring him as the champion, something he’d been striving so intensely for, the past few months. Even if his body was bruised and littered with the hits Rumlow had been able to mark his body with and not to mention the busted lip, making him taste the blood with nearly every swallow.

It didn’t matter because he had followed through with what he had set his mind out to do. The looks Rumlow was giving him after all the smack talk he had served him was satisfying enough. Even if he didn’t think you did, he saw you standing there alongside his friends, celebrating the win of his life.

He couldn’t but smile proudly at your presence, even if the disapproval you have against his lifestyle was well known between the two of you and everyone else in your friend group.

Steve knew you weren’t a fan of the injuries you brought home in your shared apartment, the nights you actually stayed there. With Jordan’s absence from New York, you’d been staying there more consistently than ever.

He would never admit it out right, but it made his heart full. With you home, he could protect and he worried wherever you weren’t there. Even if he knew you were fully capable of defending yourself if need be, it would always make him feel better when you were close to him.

Just like him, you could confess it even to yourself, but when you were back in the apartment you shared with Steve, you’d always felt safer.

He went straight to the locker room, to clean himself up as best as he could without making his friends and Tony wait too long. He’d usually go straight to them but the group took notice he held himself back when you were around.

The first match you went to and he came up with bruises running along both rib cages, a bloody nose accompanied by a busted lip, he immediately took notice of the way you cowered away from him. Barely even looking at him as you congratulated him. From then on out, he realized how much it bothered you to see him physically injured.

When you’d come, he’d always make sure to clean himself up before. It really worked out on the days he didn’t want to be around many people. Only the stragglers from the crowd would be left, and his friends who supported him nearly every time.

As soon as he made his way over to the group, he was met with Sam’s warm smile pulling him into a warm hug. You found yourself wincing as soon as Steve did. “Easy there big buy, bruises are still fresh.” Sam let up just a tad, before everyone was congratulating him. You stood back with Tony, watching the proud smile grow on his face as he watched his prodigy surpass his monumental goal.

“You should think about coming to more matches. He fights better when you’re here watching him.” You twisted your neck so you could see his coach more clearly who was standing right beside you. “I’m sure he plays just as well when I’m not here. I still watch them everytime, just from home when it’s too much for me to stomach.”

You looked forward away from Tony, Steve coming into your line of vision as Sharon, his ex who had surprisingly shown up to corral by his side, someone you’d hadn’t seen near him in the past few weeks since she’d been out of the country for work.

“His technique and endurance is the same, but his intensity always rises higher when you’re here. I’m not the only one who notices, maybe the only one bold enough to say it to you.” Tony spoke as watched the man he took in when Steve was just sixteen.

Truly, it made his heart swell with pride to see him reach the level of success he had been dreaming for him since the pair had met. Knowing Steve for the past five years, also made him hyper aware of the girl he never seemed to shut up about, not that you’d ever find out.

No matter how much Tony was dying to let the words slip off his tongue.

“I’m just happy to be here for him.” Keeping your words short as you watched Sharon move closer to him, her hand resting on his chest and he didn’t even move away from it. You tried to ignore the ugly shade of green rising in your chest, but with him it always seemed to show.

Not that you’d had a right to, you weren’t single or emotionally available by any means, but the thought of him being with someone who had hurt him so much made you more protective of him than you had a right to be.

“C’mon little dove, have you thought about why you’d rather stay in the dinged up apartment with Steve than be with your boyfriend of three years across the country?” He pressed harder, making sure you were careful of your response. “My friends are here and so is my family. I can’t just leave everyone I love behind.” Your gaze never left Steve’s as he finally was out of Sharon’s grip.

“Steve’s here, too. You sure it has nothing to do with him?” Part of you couldn’t stand there with Tony and lie to him because you weren’t sure what was the nature of your relationship with the boxer.

Thankfully, you were saved from responding by the devil himself as made his way over to the two of you. Much to your dismay, he had to get in a few more words before Steve was in earshot. “Just think about why Steve lives with you when he’s had more than enough to move out for a while now.”

Before you could even process the words leaving his mouth, your favorite man in the ring immediately has you wrapped up in his arms. Holding you so close and so tightly, not even caring if it put more pressure on his lungs than he wished.

“Congrats on the win, Champion. I’m so proud of you.” The arms you had around him were placed gently, too afraid to put any weight on the new bruises. Not to mention the old ones which were still healing.

Once he pulled away from you, just enough so you could look at him. He hummed at Tony and with one nod of his head he knew when the young boxer wanted to be left alone. More times than not, it is usually with you.

“I thought you weren’t coming tonight. Isn’t Jordan in town?” Not even when it was the biggest moment of his career thus far did he care to indulge in his victories. Always it seemed to be looking after you.

“Stevie, this is your night. We don’t have to talk about me — we’re always talking about me.” For a moment he almost bought your act until he looked into those dazzling eyes of yours, ones he never seemed to grow tired of in the past few years.

“I’m not happy unless you’re happy. So, if you need a night where we just watch romcoms and chow on cookie dough ice cream, you know I’m all yours.” Unknowing to the two of you, everyone of your friends was watching the encounter and still couldn’t believe you still were with your current boyfriend.

Or that Steve was just waiting for you patiently. Something that didn’t come easy for him around women. Before you, he didn’t really do relationships with women that didn’t end with him in their bed at some point. Somehow, much to everyone’s dismay, he managed to keep his interactions platonic with you.

At least in their eyes.

“No, Stevie. I’m fine. He just didn’t follow through this time. It’s not the end of the world, I’ll be fine. Tonight, I just wanna be by your side and celebrate you.” Although, he didn’t really believe you Steve decided he would let it go.

“Regardless of it, thank you for coming tonight. Means the world to me.” It really did. Even more so, when he felt like he was one of the reasons you were still in Brooklyn and not in California living with your boyfriend instead.

“Oh, hush bubba. You’re getting so soft on me and you haven’t even had a proper drink in you yet. Let’s just celebrate with our friends, yeah?” You kissed his cheek sweetly, before you were off to Bucky and Nat’s place to get properly fed and surely get Steve drunk off his ass.

It really was the elephant in the room you were choosing to ignore. The fluttering feeling of adventurous butterflies traveling to spaces you didn’t know existed. Everytime he pulled you close to his side or kissed your temple.

When Bucky would do something monumentally stupid, he would whisper a line in your ear humorous enough to hear you laugh. Even right now, when you knew he was exhausted, muscles sore and aching — Steve was still tending to whatever you needed.

In this moment, your body nestled between his legs as he draped his arm across your chest, letting him hold you close was exactly what you needed. Even if you tried to remove yourself several times because of the new injuries, he would never let you.

“What’s next, Rogers?” Steve watched as he craned his neck towards Sharon. You’d almost forgotten she was here, she’d been so quiet most of the night.

“A whole lot of rest and then in a few weeks, right back into training.” He spoke with pride because winning the title went hand and hand with defending it. “You should come to the club. Danielle’s been itching to see you, again.”

Steve grimaced, not just as Sharon’s words, but with how stiff your body became. The way you rubbed back and forth with the tip of your fingers against his forearm came to a halt.

You weren’t really sure what to do because now you felt horrible for even feeling like you had a right to be upset in the first place. Because you didn’t. You weren’t single and Steve was. In this space in time, he did nothing wrong.

When you followed Nat back into the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine, away from him, it felt like he had made a mistake.

Just watching as you followed Nat up the pathway, in your pretty green dress, as you messed with the necklace adoring your neck. Something he learned you did when you were anxious.

“Why would you bring that up now? In front of her?” He was slightly pissed off she had driven you away and out of his arms. Steve would have you within his grip constantly if you would let him. Not that you did, but it was still a certain something he found himself wishing for. More than not though, someone else always seemed to hold your attention whenever he wasn’t in the ring.

Jordan. Tony. Sam. Natasha. Bucky. Wanda.

Tonight had seemed it might go in a different direction, until Sharon steered your mind elsewhere. One where you were a girl who missed her boyfriend. Or at least that’s what he thought.

Unknowingly to Steve, Jordan was the last thing on your mind, which allowed the guilt to settle in. Maybe, just this one time it was rightfully placed. The thoughts you were having scared you senseless — making you want to do something you knew you shouldn’t.

You just sat there on the padded bar tool as Nat grabbed a bottle of white with a bottle of red. Like time and time again, Nat read your mind just as she often did. “So, why couldn’t he come this time?” She drilled into you, her iridescent daggers as piercing as ever.

“He said he forgot his mother asked him to help her move out of the house. He said he’d make it up to me some other time.” Just like always.

But you held your tongue before voicing it to anyone other than yourself. It’d been months since you’d seen him in the flesh, and it was the first time he spoke to you in days when he informed you he’d been unable to spend any of his time off with you.

“He’s just never here and he keeps asking for me to move to Los Angeles, but my whole life is here. Before, he never seemed to really pressure me. He was always patient with me to travel at my own pace but I think he ultimately thought I would eventually go there with him.” You breathed out, scared of the truth dripping right out of you.

“I just-, you know what? Nevermind. It’s isn’t important.” She was never one to bite her tongue, but she found herself trying to when your feelings were involved.

“Tell me. What is it?” Your curious, bambi eyes peering into your soul, dying to pull the confession right out of her.

“Do you even miss him when you’re apart for so long? I’m not judging but it just seems like you’re okay. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but why don’t you ever go to him or Jordan to you?” Natasha spoke softly, afraid she might be poking the bear just a bit.

“Of course I miss him. I would see him if I could. I’m just a little too busy right now with work and my family.” You attacked back, feeling the need to defend yourself.

“Are you really going to make me say it?” With both bottles of wine on the counter, she went to grab three more wine glasses — for Sharon, herself, and you.

“Say what? What the hell are you talking about?” You pushed her as she put out the bottles of wine as she managed to link the three vines of the glasses in her left fingertips. “Forget it. I shouldn’t have said anything.” She was regretting it now, because maybe you weren’t quite ready to hear the words everyone else knew to be true. Anyone who was around the two of you could see it.

Perhaps, Nat never spoke a word of it because at the very least, she thought you wouldn’t be as naive to see his feelings. The ones he seemed to offer you on a silver platter, whether you wanted to reject or accept the offering, giving it to you wholeheartedly.

Following her out the patio door where the two of you stopped, not moving a step further. She didn’t really say anything either. Letting you bask in the glow before the fall.

He was laughing so hard, his hand clutching his chest as him. Golden hair shining bright by the fire pit, almost as

lively as his smile. Even if it looked like his spirit could have been beaten out of him tonight, he’d never show it.

When he had trouble keeping his eyes open, he’d force himself to stay alert because moments he could spend with ones he loved seemed too precious to pass up. Especially over the past few months — he didn’t even have to think twice about it.

Through the schedule Tony had him on, his life was eating, breathing, living boxing. Training every day in the gym, whether it be furthering his techniques in the gym to Tony making him regret any mistake he made in the ring.

Even some days he was just weight training when Tony told him he could rest. He couldn’t though. Not when he could taste the sweetness of his dreams on the tip of his tongues.

Every day, dawn till dusk, training consumed every moment of his time. Steve thought his body was restless before, but now? Nothing came even close to this.

Leading Steve to be blissfully unaware of what was actually going in that fantastically bold head of yours.

“Just spill it, Romanov.” You pressured her, but your eyes were too weak to redirect your directions elsewhere. Only Steve holding your attention at one.

“Remember when Steve left for Spain for three months with Tony?” Your body stilled, having a feeling you knew where this was going. Regretting you told her what had happened with Steve in the first after promising him it would just stay between the two of you.

“It was the year Jordan and I had split for two months.” The memory of what happened always clouding your better judgement. The way his eyes shined still haunted you. “Steve had already been there a month when it happened and the second I told him he insisted on flying me out.”

Looking at him fondly, across the greenery before speaking so softly as if he was right next to you, “I could never say no to him. I still can’t.” Nat tried to ignore it but she could see through the fog of your first love fading even if you were trying your hardest to avoid the inevitable heartache.

The care you held for him was oozing out of you, bursting and breaking at the seams. When you kept thinking of him more than a roommate, more than a friend.

“Dove, you can’t just keep pretending your feelings don’t exist. The more you try to bury the root deep the more it will grow.” You knew she was right, but you really didn’t want to hurt anyone.

You supposed you were already causing pain unintentionally. “His biggest insecurity is him. Jordan thinks I’m still here because of him.” You confessed, the ongoing fight no secret to anyone, really.

“Aren’t you?” Maybe if you had been a better liar, you could’ve convinced her but everyone could read you like the back of your own hand.

You hated the spotlight she was putting on you, but even more so because she was right. Moving forward with Jordan meant leaving someone else behind, something you couldn’t seem to prepare yourself to do.

“I love Jordan. He’s my first love and I thought he would be the greatest one, too.” You really want to stop the love and admiration flowing out of you, but you couldn’t choose who you love and maybe it was time for you to stop fighting it.

“Then, I met Steve. He responded to the ad I put out for the spare room in my apartment and we met for coffee.” If you had listened to your mother, her wishes of you not to be in the company of a man who was a complete stranger, you’d never meet the most important person in your life.

“He looked more like a boy back then. Clean shaven. No beard. Steve was still muscular, but not nearly as toned as he is now. But his eyes? They pulled me right in. Still do, every damn time.” You should have held some sort of shame, but you didn’t.

“You should do something about it, Dove. He isn’t going to be single forever.” Nat questioned as you followed her lead, back to the roaring fire.

“Nat, I love Jordan. I could never do that to him.” You really couldn’t, but you also couldn’t find it in you to move with him either. “I know you love him, but you aren’t in love anymore.” Growing closer and closer, back to the group, you saw him clearly.

“What do you mean?” Trying to ignore the pain in your chest as Natasha spoke. “I think you’re scared of ending it with Jordan. Dove. I’ve known you for a long time now and I’ve never seen you look at anyone the way you do with Steve.”

The words spilling out of her lips left you a little broken — the truth spearing you through. She wasn’t wrong, not one bit. Nat never nearly was, especially when your feelings were involved. Steve had become such an enigma to you in the past year.

The line of platonic friendship and overflowing emotional intimacy was becoming too entangled for you to even comprehend.

“Just think about it. I just want you to be happy.” The rest of the night, it’s all you could think about. A few days passed and it was still in the forefront of your mind.

When Steve was walking home with you this week, you couldn’t stop wondering all the hypotheticals swarming inside your dreams.

He could tell, too.

You’d never been so quiet, not ever. He’d like to hear you, especially when you were drunk. Like you seemed to be now, at least to him but tequila that lit a fire in your chest a few hours ago was beginning to wear off. Just when the feelings you kept trying to avoid would seep there way back in like your furry, fat cat Thor when he wormed his body through the gate into the apartment.

“What’s wrong? You’ve seemed off this week.” You felt his hand kiss yours, but he didn’t bother to find it’s home. He’d been keeping his distance or at least been trying to. You'd been so vulnerable lately and the last thing he wanted to do was exploit that.

Ever since Sharon had made a comment about Danielle, and you escaped with Nat, something changed. You more guarded around him, more than you'd ever been since you met.

Steve knew there was a reason for it, but he didn't want to push you — not when it looked like you would combust into a breakdown at any given moment.

“I’ve just been thinking about where my life is going and where I want it to go.” You confessed, letting your words linger. “Jordan wants me to move with him to California and I’m running out of reasons to say no.” In perfect harmony, your eyes met his at the same time.

They weren’t joyful what his bright blues usually possess, but this time they were indifferent. Not even you could read them.

“Do you want to move there with him?” Steve asked you, his heart on the verge of dropping into his stomach. “If it will make you happy, you should.” Shoving his hands in his pockets, you watched him drift away from you.

“I don’t know. It might.” Both of you coming to a halt, walking up to the apartment the two of you shared.

“He’s insecure about you. It’s why he’s pressuring me.” The two of your bodies so close but so far away as you stood in the doorway. With a confusing gaze and pouty lips, practically guiding you into temptation.

“He used to always tell me you were in love with me. He was fully convinced, still is. I never thought so. You were just my best friend, that was it. I just never really thought about it unless Jordan brought it up.” You would have loved to blame your sudden outburst on the alcohol, but it was something you'd been dying to do.

Before you never had the guts, but you a felt a pull towards Steve lately, like maybe there was something more trying to burst under the seams.

“I thought Tony was bullshitting me, fucking with me, but I didn’t ever give it a thought. Then, Nat brought up Spain.” Nights you told yourself were a mistake, but deep down it was the probably the safest you felt in a long time.

“What are you talking about? What did Tony say?” Fetching for the key, he slid it in before opening the door for you and following you inside. “Steve, why do you still live here?” Blushing cheeks and a string of incoherent words was all you could make out from him.

As he headed for the small couch, trying to make up an excuse good enough. One which you’d actually believe, he hoped.

“You make four times as much as me, if not more. For some reason, you’ve decided to stay in this shithole apartment — it doesn’t make sense.” He wished you would make sense of it, that way he didn’t have to say a word.

“Do you want me to move out?” He questioned, watching your movements. If you wanted him to move out, he wouldn’t hesitate to do so.

It was the last thing you wanted, but the line between your friendship with him was always blurred. Only now, when it was vaguely pointed out by the two people close to the both of you — it became more apparent than ever.

“No, I just, I guess I’m asking why. You know you’re more than welcome to stay here as long as you’d like, but this place is a dump, Steve. Why on earth would you wanna stay here?” When he looked up, where you stood above him having a hard time biting his tongue.

Because you’re here.

It’s what he wanted to say, but he didn’t have the right and he would just be an asshole if he put you in a compromising position. He already felt guilty enough with his feelings in the first place, he didn't need to pile on.

“I guess it’s just easier to stay. It’s so close to the ring and I’m maybe a tad too comfortable.” You sat next to him on the couch. Finding yourself trapped in the green of his eyes. “Don’t you want something better?” Maybe it was him or maybe it was you. Neither of you could tell.

The two of you inched closer until Steve was caressing your thigh, just with the tip of his thumb. “I’m more than happy with where I’m at.”

“Well, I’m asking because I need to go to California. Just for a bit. I need to see Jordan, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen him.” He didn’t stop touching, not even with the mention of his name.

Even if it pierced him every time you talked about him. Or when Jordan came to town, he felt like he didn’t exist to you.

He didn’t blame you, not at all. Jordan was your highschool sweetheart, and you wanted so badly for it to work but something was holding you back. Something you were trying to let go of.

“He loves me so much and wants to start building this whole new life, but how am I supposed to tell him?” Steve said nothing, letting you sink into the ground.

“He’s been nothing, but kind and loving. Always there, always supportive. The best partner I could have asked for.” Steve laced your hand in his like it was the most natural thing in the world, making butterflies erupt at full speed.

You couldn’t really pinpoint a moment when he started, but all you knew is how safe his warm, calloused hands made you feel. Since the moment you met, never failing to comfort you when needed.

“Then what’s the problem, Dove?” Steve questioned you, untangling his body from yours.

If he was going to help you, he needed to think and being so close to you wouldn’t get himself where you needed. Above all, you didn’t make any easier when a small whine left your throat — tugging at his heart strings.

“We never talk about what happened in Barcelona.” You watched his body tighten, muscles in his arm constricting.

It made him feel just as uneasy as it did to you. At least you could find comfort in that.

“Dove, there’s a reason for it. You and I both know it.” Steve was right. His self righteous sense of nature always kicked in when you wanted it the least.

“You don’t think about it? Because I do.” Pushing weight on his heart, you were very aware you held. You weren’t too naive to know just how much he cared for you, but coward enough to try and make him admit it first.

“You were broken up, things are different now. We’re home where you have a boyfriend and I have boxing.”

“Yes, where I have a boyfriend who wants me to abandon everything I hold close to me to join him without even bothering to ask me what I want.” You puffed out, exhaustion coming in overflow. “The past year, he hasn’t once asked me what I want.”

The boy with golden locks found himself wanting nothing more than to hold you in his arms, nurse you back to health with all the love he could offer.

But even he knew he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t keep on spreading himself thin over a woman who was so conflicted, so distraught she was collapsing within herself. If he wasn’t too careful, he might fall right beside you.

“Before we got back together, he asked me.” You confessed, feeling better as soon as the secret flew from your mouth. “He asked you what?” Steve pressed on, a bit terrified of it truly, but even he had to know.

“He asked if anything happened between us the months I was there and I lied. Ever since we met, he’s been insecure. He thinks I’m going to leave you for him and it wasn’t the first time he asked either.” You wish you hadn’t dealt with the two of them so poorly, but with the expression on Steve’s face you knew you had.

“He knows I lied and it hurts even more he stayed with me anyways.” Steve didn’t move, his fear keeping him still.

“I don’t know how to be his after you, but I don’t know how to let go of my high school sweetheart either.” You felt trapped, in between an impossible decision. An old love, who loves you past your mistakes, past the hurt and a soulful heart admiring you from where you’re at and nothing less.

“Those nights don’t have to mean anything if you don’t want them to.” He spoke softly, his beautiful orbs catching yours in the moonlight peeking through the window.

“They mean too much to me, that’s the problem.” If he didn’t move as you inched closer to his body, planting yourself in front of him, you could tell he was straining himself.

“Do you remember the first time?” He looked confused, wondering if you truly were bold enough to speak of something you shouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole. Your hand found his chest, feeling the pulse of his rapid heart beat. “I was so shy and timid the first time with you, but you guided me so well.” Too fond of the memory of him worshipping every part of your body.

The very thing he wanted to do since the moment he met you, but Steve wanted more than that. Now more than ever.

“You don’t have to remind me, Dove. I remember.” He swallowed deeply, trying to erase the permanent memory of your body writhing beneath him, moaning out his name, begging him for more.

He still found himself thinking about it. Those two months with you had just amplified what he felt even more because now he knew what it was like for you to wake up in his arms, bare skin against his own.

The way you curled into his chest, your arms wrapped around his waist for optimal comfort.

Or when he’d wake up before you, which was most days, he’d find you murmuring his name in your sleep while soft fingertips caressed your skin lulling you into a more peaceful slumber.

“I never forget, Dove. That’s the problem.” With one finger, he pushed back the hair falling in your face tucking it behind your ear. “I tried to move past it, I went on a couple dates with this woman, Danielle.” You already felt your heart clench at the thought of him with someone else.

“She’s kind, smart, and beautiful and she seems to like me. Sharon keeps bugging me to take her out again since she set the two of us up.” Steve was trying to talk calmly, but he couldn’t ground himself. Especially when you only seemed to pull back further from him.

It was weird that Sharon set the pair up, considering she dated Steve not too long ago but it seemed she could put her feelings inside if it was for your despair.

In her daunting eyes, you were the reason her and the promising boxer broke up in the first place. As cliche as it was, she offered Steve an ultimatum after six months of dating — her or you.

Steve picked you.

It wasn’t like he loved her at that point. He did care for her, but you just meant too much to him. When kind, iridescent eyes met his own for the first time Steve never was able to stop thinking about them. Or you for that matter.

Carefully calculated as Steve could be, he managed to trap you between the closed door of his bedroom and his toned body.

“But I want to hear you say something before I do.” His gaze never faltered for a moment as he played with the hem of the short slip dress adoring your taut figure.

Half of your mind was begging you to retreat into your room and forget the last time you’d been pressed up against him like this. The other half wanted to see what he would do once he knew you were in the palm of his hand once again.

You had a feeling he already did.

His beard was grown out and his silky, golden hair that almost reached his shoulders make him look even more deliciously sinful.

“What’s that?” You tried not to gulp loudly, but if you even made the slightest movement, he would notice. “Tell me you’re in love with him.” His soft thumb caressing your side, not sure if he was trying to soothe himself or you.

“Just tell me five years down the line, you see him right there with you. Just say it, so I can move on.” He couldn’t even look at you, he couldn’t take the inevitable. “Tell me we’re just friends and Jordan’s your future.” You met his eyes, the prettiest blues you’ll ever see.

Commanding your attention without even trying — every damn time. You weren’t sure what you wanted, but you knew seeing him hurt was chipping a piece of you away. Watching his arched eyebrows furrowed in distress, fine lines being made in the middle for proof.

Soft fingertips met his skin, smoothing out his furrowed brows, closing his eyes trying to remember what you smelled like. Just like Sharon reached her breaking point, he had too. Steve couldn’t watch you any longer without being the one you wanted without a doubt.

“Stevie.” You softly whisper, before pulling him into your arms.

Even if he was double your size, he let you hold him as best as you could. Comfort him even if you were the reason he’s breaking.

The strong, persistent boxer had been transported back to the sick and thin kid he once was before all the guns and glory came. Steve was right back to where he got rejected by anyone and everyone. A time and many places where no one gave a damn about Steve Rogers, not anyone he wished for.

You watched him untangle himself from you, but you weren’t sure just how much time had passed. A few minutes? Thirty? An hour?

Only time could tell and she wasn’t really on your side at the moment.

“I’ve only found love once. Back in high school, there was this girl, Hazel. She was kind, sweet, eyes that shined like fresh honey. The first person to ever show any interest in me and I was in love with the fact that someone actually wanted me.” Steve felt his heart clench at the memory he wished to forget.

“I truly believed I loved her with every fiber in me and I thought she cared about me too, until I realized she was just using me to get to Bucky.” You watched the distress wash over him again and you wanted nothing more than to make him feel appreciated and loved. Not rejected and forgotten.

“It broke my heart for months because I truly believed I was in love with this girl who I hardly knew.” He sighed deeply, like he somehow already was aware of the soft whisper of goodbye.

“It always kind of stayed with me, not ever feeling like I was good enough for anyone until Tony found me. Graduated high school and I started training dawn till dusk until I couldn’t anymore just to start all over and do it the next day.” He was looking everywhere but you. Even if there was not a thing in this damn hallway, but two pressured hearts.

“Not too long after, I met you and I remember thinking this is the most extraordinary woman I’ve ever met in my life.” Now, feeling like an absolute dick because you truly didn't deserve for this wonderful man to be in your life.

“You were so kind to me and you had no reason to be, but I learned it’s just who you are. This amazingly bright full beam, shining their light on everyone else — not paying attention to how much they give even if it’s everything they have.” Your skin felt hot beyond comparison, the passion in the words he spoke deeper than the memory of his skin against your own.

“I always tried to ignore it, how stupidly kind and thoughtful you are. How much you take care of me when you don’t have to. You cleaned my wounds for months without even asking me what I was doing.”

“I already knew you had a boyfriend, one you love very much, but I couldn’t stop myself from being around you. Now, I have to leave. I need to move on for me because I know how this ends for me — how it always has.” He sighed before walking away, leaving you hanging in every conceivable way. You didn’t notice the suitcase by the door before. Until he was walking out of the apartment with his possessions in hand — out of sight and out of mind.

“Wait!” He was already making it to his car, the old beat up pickup truck he couldn’t seem to get rid of when you reached him. “I just need time, Steve.” You’d been sprinting after him, until you caught up to him, making his attention fully focused on you.

“Jordan’s the only boyfriend I’ve ever had — I don’t know how to let him go.” You were crying because maybe, deep down you were hoping you could have your cake and eat it too.

“And you’re the only person I’ve ever been in love with, Dove. I can’t keep sticking around hoping you’ll wake up one day and feel the same.” He emptied his belongings in his truck before returning his attention towards you.

“Steve, don’t do this. Please. Don’t leave me.” You’d become so dependent on him, more than you realized. “You’re the only person who truly loves me and not for who they want me to be.” Trying to plead with him, but it felt like you were only pushing him even further away.

“Then tell me I’m the only one you want.” But all he was left with silence because you couldn’t and he already knew what you didn’t. He knew you hated change more than anything, that you’d rather stay in what was comfortable even if you were presented with a different option.

Someone you wanted more.

With tears in your eyes, you looked up at him like he was crushing you and there was nothing to stop the numbing feeling. He sympathized, maybe more than he liked to admit, it’s what he chose to live with over the past year. It started the moment he met you if he was truly being honest.

He knew there was nothing left for him, no matter how much his heart clenched at the sound of your cries. He couldn’t be the one who was always taking care of you, loving you, when you didn’t feel what he felt. It was splitting him open, and you just kept taking pieces of him away — parts of him you would hold forever.

He let you cling onto him one more time, begging for him not to leave you. He let you believe he wouldn’t as he calmed you back in a false sense of security. Until you were asleep in his soft sheets later that night, leaving you lonely in the home you’d been sharing.

With only half of his belongings with him, he pulled up to the project he had just completed. Even now, with not a single hope you would ever see it after he just abandoned you, there was still a light hope you’d be able to at least see it one day. If Steve was ever strong enough to face his heartbreak again.

tagging: @tonystankschild | @andromedasstarship | @tinylumpiaa | @brattycherubwrites | @bval-1 | @kayteewritessteve |

[the7thcrow]

600 degrees

~

pairing: bang chan x (fem) reader

summary: you can’t cook. like, really can’t cook. good thing your cute neighbour is here to help clean up the mess.

word count: 5.1k

genre: neighbours au. strangers to lovers. the fluffiest of fluff, slightly suggestive.

warnings: a make-out session, bad humour, minho being a twat of a roommate, and tooth-rotting fluff.

rating: 14+

a/n: hi guys! hope you enjoy this one, it’s so much more wholesome and fluffy than what i usually write, but I'm pretty happy about it. don’t by shy to send me an ask or leave a comment. anything you have to say, I would love to hear. :)

...

..

.

“Fine. Since you won’t come, at least enlighten me on how you plan to keep yourself busy?” Minho asks, casually leaning against your kitchen island. He stares at you, with that familiar condescending smirk you’ve seen far too many times.

“I don’t know,” you state, rolling your eyes. Rising to your feet, you head over to your shared refrigerator, pulling a bottle of Sangria out of the fridge. “But I’m sure I’ll find something.”

“You know, if you want to drink, you could at least do it at the party.” Minho approaches you from behind, placing both his hands on your shoulders. “It’s a lot less sad that way.”

You slap his hand away, letting out a frustrated groan at the laughter he lets out from his own joke. “I get out plenty, quit acting like I’m some lonely cat lady,” you say, grabbing your favourite wine glass from the cupboard. “I like parties, I just don’t like Jisung’s parties. They always get way out of hand.”

“But Y/N,” Minho wines, picking up your freshly poured glass and taking a sip, earning himself a glare. “I never said you were a cat lady, just the lonely part.”

At that you snatch the glass away from his hands. Not wanting to deal with this torment any longer, you walk back to your comfortable, worn-in spot on the couch.

“You know I’m right,” he says, continuing despite the fact you begin to turn up the volume of the television. “And the only way you’re going to change that is by accompanying me to Jisung’s loud, out of hand parties.”

You turn to face him, raising your eyebrows. “Somehow, I doubt my soulmate associates himself with Han Jisung.”

“Well that can’t be right, because I associate myself with Han Jisung?”

“Shut up, Minho.”

Your roommate snickers to himself as he opens the fridge, taking a quick glance at everything - or for a better term, lack of anything - inside. “What are you even going to eat? There’s nothing leftover from last night.”

“I’ll make something,” you say. Frankly, you had expected the outburst of laughter, but that didn’t do anything to simmer down your growing annoyance.

“Make something?” Minho laughs, giving you an incredulous stare. “Y/N, I’ve lived with you for two years and I don’t think I’ve seen you cook anything once.”

“Hey, I can cook,” you return, wrinkling your nose. “But why would I, when I have you to do it for me?”

At this, it’s Minho’s turn to roll his eyes. “Yeah, okay, I take that back. I don’t want you to come, have fun curling up on the couch alone with your three cats.”

“They’re literally yours.”

“Whatever,” he says, opening your front door. “Just don’t burn the apartment down, alright?”

As he closes the door, you flip him off. At first, you aren’t sure if he saw, but you’re given your answer as his laughter echoes down the hallway, fading as he walks further away.

You scowl. Of course you can cook. Well, at the very least, well enough to make a meal for one on a saturday night. Minho didn’t know what he was talking about.

Minho. Your best friend and roommate for the last two years. Man, does the guy have a way of pushing your buttons. You love him, of course. In the weird, bickering, just short of volatile friendship sort of way the two of you had developed.

Still, you can’t deny that even with his painfully irritable nature, he is still a good friend. No matter how many times you say no, he always offers to take you anywhere he goes. He pushes you out of your comfort zone. He’s there to console you when a date goes bad, or you failed a test you studied hard for. He makes all his meals for two, just because he doesn’t want you to live solely off shitty take-out.

He’s your rock. Your platonic other half. Your closest companion.

Which means you are going to prove him wrong, and then rub it in his face as much as you possibly can. Of course, because that’s what friends are for.

~~~~

Then again, maybe you wouldn’t. Or, at the very least, it was going to be exceedingly more difficult now that your apartment was full of smoke.

Covering your nose with one hand, you take the tray of chocolate chip cookies out of the oven. If you can even call them that, as they now held a far closer resemblance to that of hockey pucks. Both in looks, and what you could assume in taste, as well.

Okay, you know chocolate chip cookies don’t really count as a decent meal, but they are the only thing you remember how to cook from when you lived at home. Or maybe you didn’t remember, based on the tray of failure sitting in front of you.

Then, to make matters even worse, your fire alarm starts going off.

“Shit,” you mutter under your breath. Now you are going to have to go to the front desk, let them know everything is okay.

Maybe Minho was right, you should’ve just went to Jisung’s stupid party and eaten something there. Putting all the other painful aspects of Han’s parties aside, Felix was his roommate, so the horderves were always excellent.

They were better than your hockey puck cookies, anyway.

Letting out a disappointed sigh, you open your apartment door, prepared to get a rough scolding from the lady working the front desk. However, you are surprised to find a man standing in front of you, his hand in the air, as if he were about to knock.

“Hi,” he says, awkwardly putting his hand back down at his side. He has messy platinum blonde hair, and soft eyes. He’s cute, and the realization quickly makes you recognize him.

“You’re my neighbor,” you say, pointing a finger at him. It’s not until he doesn’t respond immediately that you realize it was a strange thing to say. Obviously, he knows he’s your neighbor, and he might be a little offended you didn’t recognize him immediately.

Then again, the two of you had never really talked before. Everytime you would pass each other in the hall, he’d always give a polite nod and continue walking. Sometimes you’d try to say hello, or start a small conversation, but he always disappeared quickly. It had gotten to the point where you assumed he had some strange, unwarranted grudge against you.

So, it was safe to say that you were more than just a little surprised to find him at your door.

“Uh, yeah, I am. Are you okay? I thought I smelt something burning, and then I heard the fire alarm go off.” He asks, peeking behind you into your apartment, seeing if he can catch sight of any flames.

Instead, his eyes land on your tray of butchered cookies, and he… smirks?

“Oh,” he says, attempting to hide the smile growing on his face. “Having some cooking trouble?”

You stare at him for a moment, watching as his lips pursed together, stifling a chuckle. “Are you...” you begin, your jaw dropping slightly. “Are you laughing at me?”

“No,” he looks down at you, finally letting his grin free. “I would never.”

“Yeah, okay,” you frown, already not enjoying that sarcastic look on his face. You thought you’d be able to avoid that humiliating look considering Minho wasn’t here, but apparently not.

 “As you can see, it’s nothing. So if you’ll excuse me,” you continue, attempting to move past him. “I need to go get my neck rung by the lady at the front desk,” However, he doesn’t budge from his place in your door frame. You cast him a glare, which only makes his smile grow wider.

“Nah, don’t worry, I’ll go let her know,” he says, already turning to walk down the hall. You open your mouth to object, but he casts a glance over his shoulder, snickering. “You focus on cleaning up whatever those black lumps were supposed to be.”

You stand in your doorway, dumbfounded as your neighbor disappears down the complex staircase. Who did this guy think he was, openly laughing at your current predicament? Sure, if the roles were reversed, there’s no doubt that you would do the same. But that isn’t the point.

No. The point is that you are not impressed by the audacity of this stranger, and you are going to make sure that this distaste is known.

Grumbling to yourself, you dump the still smoking cookies in the trash can. It’s a shame, really. You’d thought you were doing so well, too. You thought this would be your chance to prove Minho wrong. Minho. Oh, he would be having an absolute hay day if he were here right now, and the thought only makes your scowl deepen.

“Well,” your neighbor calls from behind you, causing you to jump slightly. He reappears in the open door frame, sticking his neck inside, but not fully crossing the threshold into your apartment. “She’s not thrilled, but the alarm didn’t trigger the main system’s sprinklers, so you’re good.”

You let out a sigh of relief. “Thank God.”

The man smiles. “If you don’t mind me asking, what exactly were you trying to make anyway?”

An embarrassed blush casts itself over your cheeks. “Chocolate chip cookies,” you mumble, not meeting his eyes.

He lets out a burst of laughter, smiling widely. You can’t help but notice that he had a cute smile, dimples on both of his cheeks, eyes crinkled. Not that you were looking. Not that you cared, obviously.

“How’d you manage to mess up chocolate chip cookies that badly?”

“I don’t know,” you say, shrugging your shoulders helplessly. “You tell me.” You gesture towards the oven. Your neighbor smirks, walking inside your apartment. He bends down in front of your oven, before taking a look inside.

“Well, nothing seems to be wrong in there…” he starts, before glancing up at the set temperature. “Oh,” he states, before looking back at you, his eyes full of pity. “Oh boy.”

“What?” You ask defensively.

“The temperature. You forgot to convert it from celsius to fahrenheit. See?” He says, leaning away from the oven to give you a closer look. “So you thought you were cooking them at 350 degrees fahrenheit, when in reality they were at over 600 degrees.”

“Oh my god,” you say, smacking your palm against your forehead. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I don’t know,” the guy shrugs. “You could have burnt your apartment down, so I’d consider it a win. You’re lucky I got here on time.”

You cast him a scowl, although you can’t seem to relinquish the faintest hint of a smile creeping onto your lips. You know damn well you wouldn’t have started a fire, and that the man showing up really didn’t stop anything but an uncomfortable conversation with the front lady. You are also sure that he is fully aware of this too, which makes your smirk grow wider. Alright, you’ll play along.

“Right, what ever would I do without you?” you say sarcastically, causing your neighbor to playfully roll his eyes. He leans against your kitchen counter, relaxing slightly.

“Does my saviour have a name?” You ask, opening the fridge to take a look at what’s inside. You feel your stomach rumble, taking a glance at the clock to see that it was already past 9:00.

“It’s Chris,” he smiles, leaning over your shoulder. “So what are you going to eat, now that you’ve successfully butchered the easiest recipe known to man?”

“Hey!” You snipe. “That is certainly not the easiest recipe known to man.”

“Fine, fine,” Chris says, putting his hands up in defense. “Maybe not the easiest, but it’s definitely up there. But putting that aside, what are you going to eat? Because I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever seen a fridge so empty.”

You want to quip back at him, but he’s right. Minho usually does the grocery shopping, but because of Jisung’s party tonight he wasn’t planning on cooking anything.

“Good question,” you sigh, closing the refrigerator door before leaning your back against it. “Maybe I’ll just order some take out. I don’t think my pride can handle another failure.”

Chris smiles. “Or, I have an idea,” he says, his eyes glinting. He heads over to your apartment door, and for a moment you worry that he’s leaving.

No, you’re not worried. You’re curious. That’s all. You were curious whether or not he was leaving, nothing more.

When Chris returns, he has his arms full of ingredients. Spinach, penne, tomato sauce, cream, a variety of spices. The list goes on, and he stumbles slightly, almost dropping the surplus of food onto your kitchen floor. Imagining the mess, you rush over to help him, placing the load of groceries onto the counter.

“I don’t know if you couldn’t tell before,” you say, motioning to your overflowing counter. “But I really can’t cook. I have no clue what to do with any of this.”

“That’s no problem,” Chris smiles, already separating the food into different groups. “I’ll help you.”

“No, no, no. I can’t ask you to do that,” you say, waving your hands in protest. You step in front of him, squeezing yourself between his chest and the kitchen counter, preventing him from reaching any of the ingredients. “You’ve already dealt with the desk lady for me, and brought over all these groceries. You’ve done more than enough.”

He smiles, gently placing his hands on your shoulders and effortlessly moving you to the side. “Why would I bring you these groceries if I knew you couldn’t do anything with them?” When you don’t respond, he continues. “Seriously, it’s no big deal. Don’t worry about it. Just let me help you.”

You sigh in defeat, ignoring the way your heart begins to beat faster in your chest. “Alright,” you say, grabbing Minho’s cutting board from the cupboard. “Let’s do this, then.”

~~~~

An hour later, you find yourself sitting on top of your kitchen counter, Chris stationed by the stove working on the pasta sauce. You had genuinely tried to help in the beginning, you really did. But after Chris criticized your (awful) cutting technique, and said he didn’t exactly trust you to do anything else, you gave up.

Besides, you don’t have a problem watching him work. Over the last hour, you’ve come to learn that Chris is an absolute whiz in the kitchen. Moving from place to place, adding spices by intuition and nothing more. This wasn’t something you could have managed to make yourself in a million years, and it’s obvious that if you tried to assist him right now, you’d only get in the way.

Of course, you’ve learned a lot more about Chris in the last hour than just that. Where he grew up, his hobbies, what he was currently studying at the university. Music theory, as you’d learned. As cool as it sounded, Han had managed to tarnish your image of music majors, but you suppose you could give Chris a chance.

“It’s almost done,” Chris says, glancing over his shoulder to look at you.

“Thank God, I’m starving,” you reply, leaping off the counter to stand beside him.

“What, no ‘thank you, Chris?’ No, ‘what ever would I have done without you, Chris?’” He mocks offence, placing a hand on his heart.

“It’s not even done yet. I’ll thank you after I try it, I promise.” You laugh, rolling your eyes.

“Ah, so you’re only thankful if you like it. I see how it is,” Chris says, crossing his arms in front of himself, pouting his lower lip slightly.

“Guess so,” you say, crossing your own arms mockingly. Chris smiles, those cute little dimples of his dancing across his cheeks.

Then you feel it, that little jump of your heart. The faintest skip of a beat that you’d familiarized yourself with over the last hour. That little hint of anticipation that makes you decide that you are, even if only slightly, a bit interested in Chris.

After all, he’s funny and sweet. Can carry a conversation well, and to understate it, undeniably easy on the eyes. That’s more than enough to give him a chance.

Most of all, however, you like that little flare between the two of you. The sarcasm, the banter. It doesn’t feel the same as when Minho does it, slightly condescending and done purely to harbour your annoyance. No, this is different. It is a challenge. He wants you to quip back, to push further. To make him smirk, or laugh, or roll his eyes.

“Alright, fine then,” he says, taking the large wooden spoon and scooping up some of the pasta sauce. “Tell me if this is up to par, your majesty.”

You aren’t sure if he wants you to take the spoon, or let him hold it for you as you take a bite. You decide to take the gamble, gently moving your lips around the spoon, tasting the sauce. You glance up at Chris, a small look of surprise on his face. However, you don’t miss the flash of something behind his eyes. The faintest hint of affection, interest.

The sauce itself is delicious. A perfect blend of tomato, basil and cream. You hum contently, giving him a thumbs up.

“Chris, this is amazing,” you praise, admiring the small blush that sprinkles his cheeks.

“It’s really nothing,” he says, diverting his gaze and rubbing the back of his neck, shyly.

“No, seriously,” you say, taking the spoon from his hand and scooping some of the sauce up yourself. “Try it.” You hold the spoon out in front of him, and he raises his eyebrows slightly. Your gaze remains firm. A challenge.

Hesitantly, he takes the bite, not breaking eye contact as he does so. You stare at him, watching the way his lips move around the spoon, the intensity of his gaze. The action itself should be innocent, yet you feel a warmth rise to your cheeks.

Chris swallows, taking his lips off the spoon. For a moment, neither of you say anything. You can feel the change in the atmosphere of the room. The spark between you two being brought alight.

You swallow hard. “So?” You ask quietly.

“Yeah, it’s good. Very good,” he says back, his voice low and raspy. He goes to take the spoon from you, and his hand lingers a moment, his thumb trailing the skin of your knuckles.

You feel yourself lean in slightly, fully prepared to take the leap, when suddenly he breaks away from you, eagerly taking a few steps back. He looks away, placing a hand on his face, as if he were ashamed.

“Shit. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I know you’re seeing someone, we shouldn’t be doing this. I’m sorry,” he babbles, completely turning away from you.

You open your mouth to say something, but no words come out. Seeing someone? Where the hell could he have possibly gotten that idea?

“Seeing someone?” You ask, incredulously voicing your thoughts. You grab him by the shoulder, turning him around. “Why do you think I’m seeing someone?”

Chris still refuses to meet your eyes, instead focusing intently on the wall behind you. “The guy that lives here- Minho - aren’t you two?”

“Minho?” You gape, contorting your face in a look of pure disgust. “Ew, gross! No! Believe me, I am not dating Minho, I’d genuinely rather stick this spoon in my eye,” you exclaim, lifting up the utensil.

At that Chris finally looks at you, wearing his own look of pure confusion. “Wait, really? But whenever I hear you guys out in the hall, the two of you are always so… flirty.”

“Flirty?” You laugh at the ridiculousness of the statement. “If by flirty you mean he teases me literally every god damn second of every day, then yeah sure, I guess. But believe me, there is absolutely nothing romantic about that. Not in the least.”

Chris shakes his head, a smile forming at the corners of his lips. “Wow. I am such an idiot,” he sighs, a rediscovered lightness to his tone.

“No, no. Don’t worry about it,” you reassure him. “Anyone could make that mistake, I guess. It’s really no big-”

“No, it’s not just that,” he cuts you off. “That’s why I’ve never talked to you before now.”

“You never talked to me because you thought that me and Minho were dating?” You ask, slightly confused. Even if you were dating, you didn’t see why that would stop him from starting a conversation with you. “Why?”

“Well,” he sighs, his cheeks reddening further. “I thought you were pretty, and based on the way you always quipped back at him, clever and funny as well. I don’t know, it just felt wrong to try and build a friendship with you, knowing how I already felt a little....”  

You smirk, drawing yourself slightly closer to him. “A little what?”

His smile transforms itself from embarrassed to a sly grin of his own. “A little into you, I guess.”

“It really is a shame,” you shrug, trying to hide the excitement building in your chest. “Because here I was, thinking my cute neighbor had some irrational grudge against me.”

Chris leans in, so the two of you are only inches apart. You can feel the heat radiating from his skin, smell the strong fragrance of his cologne. Sharp with lemon zest and mint.

“We could always make up for lost time, you know,” he says, his eyes flashing with mischief.

That is all the invitation you need to break the space between the two of you. You press Chris’ lips against your own, placing one hand on his shoulder and the other along the line of his jaw. His lips are soft, you notice. Tender in the slow rhythm the two of you develop.

He runs his hands up along your figure. One of them finding itself locked in your hair, the other placed firmly on the curve of your lower back. Gently, he leads the two of you away from the stove, placing you so that your back is pressed up against the kitchen counter.

You run your hand down along his chest, reveling in the groan he let’s out as your fingers trail down his lower abdomen. The sound is electricity pulsing through you, charging the room and igniting the atmosphere around the two of you.

His lips leave yours, trailing your jaw before making their way down your neck. Each individual kiss is slow and sultry, sending a shiver down your spine. You take a deep breath to stable yourself, and it does not go unnoticed.

Chris smirks, shifting his gaze to meet yours. His eyes are dark, his pupils blown out with desire. “You know, if we keep this up, the pasta sauce is going to burn,” he says, letting his fingers trail along your collarbone.

“Let it,” you shrug. “I wasn’t hungry anyways.”

Chris laughs at this, leaning forward so his face brushes the crook of your neck. “Yeah, right,” he says, allowing his lips to dust your skin. Suddenly, he bites down, not enough to break through the skin, but certainly enough to leave a small mark.  

You laugh, running your hands in his hair, half-heartedly pulling him off of your neck. “Hey! That hurt,” you exclaim, only half serious.

“Sorry,” he grins, before crashing his lips into yours once again. The pace between the two of you is much faster now, each kiss more passionate. More promising. Your desire rings through you, clouding your mind in a hazy fog of lust. It is dizzying, just how much you want him at this moment.

You're certain he feels the same way, given in how tightly he grips your thigh, his breath ragged every time you break apart. It is messy. Greedy. The two of you so deeply wanting more. More of each other.

You’re about to ask if he wants to move this to the bedroom, when suddenly the apartment door swings open. It’s almost comical, how quickly you and Chris break apart, springing to opposite ends of the kitchen.

“I hate to say it, but you were right,” Minho calls as he walks inside, not yet glancing up from his phone screen. “Shit got out of hand. Someone managed to break the pool table, don’t even ask how, I don’t know either. Almost gave Felix an aneurysm. I swear the kid was about to cry, poor guy. Han had to shut everything down. So you really didn’t miss out on-” Minho stops as he sees Chris, a confused yet bemused expression crossing his face.

“Oh, hey Chan,” he says, causing you to give Chris a look.

“A nickname,” Chris mouths to you, as discreetly as he possibly can.

“What are you doing over here?” Minho asks him, crossing his arms and leaning against the door. He has that smug smirk on his face that makes you want to punch him.

“Oh, well…” Chris starts, casting you a glance. “Y/N made some food, and there was too much of it, so she invited me over.”

“Really?” Minho asks, caught off guard. He walks past you and Chris, staring at the pasta and sauce currently sitting on the oven burners. “You’re saying Y/N made this?”

“Well, yeah?” Chris says, feigning confusion. “Of course, I wouldn’t lie about something like that. Why?”

You have to stop yourself from laughing, looking at the expression of utter bewilderment on Minho’s face. Minho glances at you, narrowing his eyes, before sighing.

“Well then, I guess you proved me wrong on two things tonight, Y/N,” he says, grabbing a bowl from the cupboard.

“What are you doing?” You ask as he begins to scoop some of the penne into his dish.

“Oh, you said there was a lot,” Minho responds, raising one eyebrow. “Can I not have some?”

“Sorry, go ahead,” you say, still slightly flustered by the abruptness of his entrance. Minho finishes filling his bowl and takes a seat at the kitchen island. As he begins to eat, the room is filled with a rather tense silence. You and Chris share an awkward look, unsure of what to do next.

Minho looks up from his dish, glancing between the two of you.

“Yeah, okay,” he says, grabbing his bowl and standing up from his chair. “I’m going to go eat this in my room. Have fun you two.”

Before you can say anything, Minho disappears around the corner, down the hallway leading to his room. You turn back towards Chris. The two of you stare at each other for a moment, before bursting out into a fit of laughter.

“He’s a bit of a mood-killer, huh?” You say, grabbing two bowls from the cupboard, offering him one.

Chris nods in thanks as he takes the bowl from your hands. “Just a little bit,” he laughs, beginning to scoop some of the pasta into both of your dishes.

The two of you take a seat at your counter, spending the meal talking and laughing. Nothing else, the moment has passed, but that doesn’t bother you. You enjoy Chris’ presence. His quick humour and thoughtful conversation.

It really is something that you could get used to, you decide.

After you’re done eating, you walk Chris over to the door, handing him his surplus of spice bottles and leftover spinach.

“Thank you for doing all this, seriously. The food was delicious, you’re seriously gifted. And also, thank you for covering for me, I really didn’t feel like listening to Minho die laughing over the burnt cookies,” you admit.

“It’s no problem, really,” Chris smiles. He shifts all the spices over to his right arm, letting his free hand fall down to his side. Softly, he takes your hand in his, letting your fingers intertwine.

“Listen,” he continues, shyly looking up from your hands to meet your eyes. “If you’re not doing anything tomorrow, you’re welcome to come over for a proper dinner. You know, so I can show you what I can actually make when it’s not a last minute attempt at salvaging a meal.”

You smile a goofy, genuine grin. “That sounds good to me,” you say. Hesitantly, you lean forwards, planting a soft, innocent kiss on his lips.

As you break apart, he hums contently. “I’ll see you tomorrow then, thanks for today. You made my night, Y/N.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Chris.” You watch as he walks over to his apartment door, which is of course, only a few meters away from your own. When he disappears into his own apartment, you sigh, closing your own door behind you. You lean against the frame, letting out a shaky breath, your heart beating rapidly in your chest. It’s been so long since you’ve held any genuine interest in someone, you feel almost giddy.

That is until you see Minho, leaning against the corner of the kitchen wall, watching you with his cheshire smirk.

“Dinner tomorrow, huh?” He asks, walking into the kitchen and scooping himself the last of the pasta.

“What about it?” You retort, not giving in to that pestering look in his eyes.

“Oh, nothing. I’m sure it’ll be good, considering Chan clearly made this,” Minho says, shoveling some of the pasta into his mouth.

“I don’t know what you mean,” you say, grabbing two wine glasses from the cupboard.

“Save it, the lady at the front desk told me you almost set the apartment on fire,” Minho laughs as you pour the wine.

You let out a groan, handing him his glass. “God dammit.”

“Don’t blame her though,” he smiles, leaning back and taking a sip. “I wouldn’t have believed you could have cooked that anyway.”

You roll your eyes. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

“Had me fooled for a second there though,” he says, patting you on the head. “But more importantly, you like Chan huh?”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Right. Nice hickey, by the way,” he smirks, raising his eyebrows.

You pull up the collar of your shirt, casting him a glare. “Okay, maybe I do,” you shrug. “What’s it to you?”

“Nothing,” he replies, before taking a second to think. “Just please don’t fuck him or anything tomorrow. Walls are thin.”

You laugh, taking your glass of wine and flopping yourself back down on the living room couch.

“Shut up, Minho.”

~

thanks for reading loves <3