#excema

[homocidalpotat]

I've had awful excema on my thighs for a few months and it's been really painful and unbearable- think scratching desperately without control and unable to do anything else. It's probably genetic, my dad has struggled with it his whole life. When I told him I had an excema breakout, he told me to put cream on it. But I REALLY hate cream- the smell, texture, appearance.

[riordanness]

would’ve, could’ve, should’ve - tmr!newt

0.6K wordcount

warnings: blood mentions, panic attack mentions, skin condition

requested: no

a/n: excerpt from a much longer fic i’ve been working on during my severe mental and physical health challenges over the course of this year. it’s a little something i mostly wrote for myself to cope, but i thought i’d share a little with you guys, cos it’s nice (??) to have people understand what you’re going through, and tbh i’m kinda proud of how this little piece turned out

Now that the initial shock and panic of arriving here, in the place they call The Glade, is slowly starting to wear off, the pain is taking up most of my attention. Even now, my arms are almost unbearable. The pain is tantalising me, taunting me. Cry, it seems to tell me. Break down in front of all these boys and sob.

I blink, suddenly unsteady on my own feet. “I–I’m gonna go,” I announce, not talking to anyone in particular, and stumble towards the Homestead. I manage to get myself to my room, before my legs give way beneath me and I crumple to the ground, leaning against the wall for support.

My head falls between my knees, and one, heartbroken sob shudders through me, shaking my entire being. The red-hot fire on my skin spreads to my chest, to my tears, to my head. I am distraught, trapped inside this ring of flames, burning me alive, from the inside out.

I’m aching, every bone, every muscle crying out in agony, screaming at me to grant them relief. I can only cry harder, wishing with every ounce of my being that I was able to grant that request.

The hot, itchy ants begin crawling, through the flames, and all over me, smothering me with their little, persistent stomps. I’m choking. Unable to breathe beneath all the itching and the pain.

I scratch roughly at the skin of my wrists and forearms, my nails digging into myself, drawing blood. But still, the itching is unbearable. My nails drag again, again and again, each time harsher than the last.

I don’t know exactly how long I stay like this, crunched into a ball, trying to disappear from this narrative I’m forced into.

I have no memories, but it is obvious this condition (of sorts), is a long term thing. I wonder briefly, in between the pain, how long it has been. How many days, months, years have I been fighting it? Is it even a fight? Or just an endless battle of no hope, and no happiness.

I wonder if it’s the cause of my being here. Maybe I got so fed up and exhausted of this pain and this whole damn thing that I just chose to be sent here. But what would that do? I’m still in pain, obviously. Nothing would have changed regardless of my skin. I dismiss the idea, the wonder still strong in my mind. I was burning with curiosity as to why or how or when or where.

I sigh, long and deep, drawing my knees impossibly closer to my chest, as if squeezing myself tightly into a ball will somehow keep out the pain. Maybe the fire ants can’t get in if I block them out.

The thought of those fiery, itching ants does it for me. My mind collapses. I shake, my sobs violent but deadly quiet. My head hurts, my throat is tightening up in a hot ball of tears, my chest feels like it’s been wrapped in cling wrap way too tightly.

There’s nothing but me.

Me, and the pain, and the tears, and the fire.

Nothing else matters. I don’t have room for it to matter. I’m all full, my space for love and life and joy and laughter taken up by a wretched pain. A chronic condition.

Nothing matters.

Nothing.

At.

All.

Finally, someone finds me. My door squeaks slightly as it’s pushed open, and a boy steps inside. My tears blur my vision, so the figure is hard to make out at first. I brush angrily at the tears, hating to be found like this.

“Hey, hey.” It’s Newt’s voice, soft and gentle. “Hey, you’re okay. You’re okay.”

He gathers me hesitantly into his arms, awkwardly hushing my cries. “It’s okay, you’re okay,” he keeps saying, keeping his voice steady. Eventually, I calm down, wiping the last of my tears away. My breathing is still shaky, though, and my voice trembles when I pull myself away from Newt.

“Thank you,” I say. “Um, I–I’m sorry you had to see that.” I might not remember my old self, or my past, but I was uncomfortable with him seeing me like this. It made me feel vulnerable, too open. I instinctively close myself off from Newt, physically shifting away from him, as I stare at the roughly built wooden floor.

“Are you alright?”

I hesitate, then I slowly shake my head, still avoiding looking at him. It feels wrong for someone to have seen me like that. Seen me looking that weak and pathetic. Crying my eyes out on the floor just because of a little bit of pain.

Well, a lot of pain, but how can you possibly explain that to someone?

“Do you want me to stay?” Newt asks, his tone still gentle and reassuring.

I shake my head again, a lot more firmly this time. “I’m okay. Thanks, but I’ll be okay.”

Newt gets to his feet, but still crouches beside me for a second, lingering.

“I’m fine.” It comes out harsher than I mean it to.

“Alright, okay.” He straightens, lets out a tiny sigh I don’t think I’m supposed to hear, and leaves, quietly shutting the door behind him.

I don’t move from the floor for a while, exactly how long I have no way to tell. The sunlight slowly dims, eventually leaving me in darkness. Still, I remain curled into a ball on the floor, my head aching dully, and my heart aching even worse.

I feel terrible for snapping at Newt like I did, but then I remember the feeling of crying in his arms, feeling stripped bare, my true self laid out for him to see. The memory makes me shiver for some reason.

[ramshitposts]

I love you acne I love you pimples I love you freckles I love you strawberry skin I love you excema I love you psoriasis I love you scars I love you blemishes I love you birthmarks I love you eye bags I love you dimples I love you wrinkles

I love you textured skin and I love you "imperfections" youre all so beautiful <3

[rhiandoesfandom]

well, guess I'm gonna stink until my new hypoallergenic deodorant comes in cause my skin decided to be sensitive to fragrance again.

[cryptidwithaninternetconnection]

Fuckig stupid Excema making lotion burn my hands bc it’s all dry and shit- fuck you Excema I’m gonna trade my fucking hadns >:[

[kalscattergood]

"Ugh, I stabbed myself right in the excema."

[shumperoono]

not to gatekeep but you can't say you have bad skin until you hit the sock on hand method

[headknight-oh]

The fun part of excema is that you can get high and scratch your scalp and watch it snow dead skin in the light. It’s very satisfying

[insight-chronicles]

I have definitely chosen the wrong career path...in my defense I chose it before I had most of my health issues but still.

I struggle with chronic pain *almost* all my joints...and I say "almost" because I can't be certain if the back pain is connected or if that's just from the fact that I have never had anything but a manual labour job and am unable to lift with my knees due to the pain in them.

I also have such bad eczema that I am left in pain and itchy from simple things such as cleaning, dust or weather changes.

And yet dogs are my chosen profession...working in kennels full of dog hair, cleaning 50% of the time and walking the other 50%.

Sometimes I wonder whether I actually hate myself which is why I have chosen to torture myself day in day out 😅

[executionangel]

2 the filter

[rockinjohnny]

EXPOSED: The Shocking Truth About Allergies You MUST Know! | Dr. Barbara...

[cryptablog]

my skin is making noises again...

[frankenfawn]

LAGOONA WITH ECZEMA!!!!!!!!!!!(( shes just like me fr))

lagoona's skin canonically gets very dry when she's out of the water for a long time! i hc that even with all the moisturizer she uses, she scratches a lot because it gets so itchy 😔 but that doesnt get her down, she's still out there serving lurks while embracing her freaky flaw :)!!

i partially referenced this official art !

[ramshitposts]

excema is so shit cause I could look the hottest I ever will but the inside of my elbow looks like deadpools

[bluecichlid]

As someone with long-term rosacea and a history of eczema, I have a lot of thoughts on this! It can be very difficult to cover the redness without your foundation getting thick and cakey. I use a primer with my foundation to help it last longer - Hangover Primer by Born This Way is my go-to, with NARS Light Reflecting Foundation. Then I use Hourglass Ambient Lighting Power to set. This is a pricey combination of products, but it has staying power without looking like I put it on with a trowel. For prevention of the skin irritation, I am very careful about what products touch my skin. I've found one of the big culprits is toothpaste, so I wash my face very carefully with a washcloth after I brush. I don't use too much laundry soap in the wash and I do an extra rinse. I find more is less with my skincare routine - if I need to cleanse I tend toward oil cleanses rather than the foams, or just water and a washcloth. A good diet with lots of vegetables also helps. Note: My eczema got MUCH better during and after my first pregnancy, but obviously not a solution for most people! For rosacea, I use yellow LED light therapy a couple of times a day during flare ups and 3 times a week the rest of the time. I have an LED mask which I bought off Amazon - it cost a bit over a hundred dollars. It also does blue LED which dries up acne. I supplement that with the occasional laser treatment at a local laser clinic - they call it flushing laser, although I don't think that is the technical name. They keep trying to sell me more expensive treatments, but that one is reasonable and it works. I also limit my sun-exposure, drink lost of water, and eat salads.

re: skin redness, have you tried colour correcting with a green concealer? it helps neutralize the redness first, then adding a layer of something closer to your skin tone on top so the green doesn’t show through. I’ve used Dr Jart’s color correcting cream for the greenish tinge but I think other brands sell green concealers at lower price points

nope, not yet! because I keep forgetting the concealer color I should pick to color correct (I need to write it down lol)

And thanks for the recommendation! I'll check if Sephora has it :)

[cryptidwithaninternetconnection]

Excema sucks :/