#except for days like when my dad died. but every bad day since then has been abt how much my mom wants to die or her thinking we're going t

[waheedawolf]

.

[mintmatcha]

tw: implied abuse, no curses au

"Can I ask a question?" Yuuji digs his heel into the wood chips as he swings, digging a growing trench behind him. "You don't have to answer."

Ash falls from the end of Choso's cigarette. He leans against the anchor of the swing set, cheek against cold metal, and sighs. Twilight has passed and the streetlights have turned on, giving the playground a hazy, barely lit glow. Yuuji's guardian will start calling soon, but Choso decides the extra time together is worth the future ire.

"I already told you that I'm not giving you a tattoo."

"Aw, damn-" Yuuji clicks his tongue against his teeth. Ever since they met, he's been dying for a tattoo of his own, throwing out wild new ideas almost every day. One day, when he's eighteen and likes an idea for more than a month, Choso will bring him to his studio and comply.

But, not yet.

"That wasn't my question though," Yuuji says.

"Then go for it."

The younger boy takes a deep breath, then lets it out even slower, pulling the tension longer and longer until it snaps.

"Why weren't you... around? Like, when I was a kid and stuff."

Choso takes his own breath.

"Your mom-- our mom." The taste of that sits bitter on his tongue. He never called her mom, even back then. "She was different for me."

And for our other brothers, he adds silently. Yuuji doesn't need to carry that weight yet, the knowledge that he was the exception to it all.

"Why?" Yuuji pumps his legs a little softer, the back and forth motion of the swing slowly dying out.

"I dunno." Choso wishes he had the answer to that. "She was sixteen, did bad things. Don't worry about it."

Finding out about Yuuji wasn't a shock, somehow. Years after Ken had surrendered her children to the state, Choso had received noticed that she had died. The news felt overdue. No tears were shed, no love lost; the group chat of siblings had all agreed not to go to any service, but the day of, Choso had changed his mind.

He had put on his nicest outfit -some thrift store pants that didn't fit and a shirt he stole from foster dad three- and went expecting to be the only one there, the only one willing to say goodbye.

Choso hadn't known about her new family. They hadn't known about him either. It was typical of Ken to leave a mess in her wake.

Turns out, through a series of lucky breaks, the woman had clawed her way out of poverty and into the arms of a rich, but nice man. Her life was easy and sweet, filled with luxuries and love, including a son ten years younger than her eldest.

No one knows why Yuuji was different than the others, why she decided to be good to him and no one else. Mental illness is strange like that, picking and choosing how it pleases.

Yuuji huffs, gripping the metal chains tighter. "But-"

"Yuuji." Choso drops his cigarette and crushes it under his boot. Then, he thinks about the child that will play there tomorrow, shoveling wood chips into their mouths like idiots, and decides to pick it up. He jams it into his pocket. "You have good memories of her. Don't ruin that."

He used to resent how much Yuuji loved her. He was eight when she died, the same age Choso was when he first had to dial 911 for her. That anger had long faded, replaced with a strange amount of pity.

"But I want to know. What she did and stuff." Yuuji's voice jumps high with emotion. "I'm basically an adult, I can handle it."

"You're sixteen."

"Well, mom was doing this stuff at sixteen, so-" Yuuji is seething suddenly, brow furrowed and teeth grit.

"So?"

"So, she was old enough to be doing bad things and I'm not old enough to know about it?" He stands and the swing clatters behind him. He's stocky, yet tall, bunched with muscles that he's built from baseball. On one side of his cheek, there's a bit of chocolate stuck there, a remnant from the ice cream Choso bought him. Below it, there's a rosy hickey on his neck, a remnant of the boyfriend he hasn't told Nanami about yet. He thinks they're having sex, maybe, but doesn't know how to broach the topic without scaring his brother into never talking about it again.

"And you had tattoos at my age, by the way!"

Choso lets him stew in it, huffing and puffing. The blown out edges of first tattoo peek from under his sleeve, the image barely legible now. An older woman gave it to him at fifteen, in the basement of her house. It became so insanely infected that he ended up in the ER a couple days later.

"I'm not a kid. I can handle it." Yuuji states, calm and clear. "I'm not a kid."

A car passes, it's headlights stretching and pulling the shadows across the park. In the changes, Choso can see his mother in his brother, those soft eyes and thin lips and the same slightly crooked nose that Choso has himself. He thinks, maybe, if time was kinder and his father was better, they'd look more alike each other, but then the moment is gone and they no longer even look like siblings.

"Okay."

Yuuji untenses a bit. "Okay?"

"Okay."

"Like, okay, this conversation is done, or okay, I'll tell you?"

"I'll tell you," Choso says, jamming his hands in his pocket. The cigarette butt is there, mushed and still warm against his knuckles. "But not tonight."

"What?!"

"Next time, I promise."

Choso doesn't understand why Yuuji insists on rushing away from innocence, but he knows that he can't stop him. Yuuji will find out about the abuse, the neglect, the other brothers, and the other horrors in some way or another and then things will never be the same.

"Stay a kid just a little longer." Choso resists the urge to ruffle his hair. "For me?"

"Yeah, sure," Yuuji sighs. "One more day."

[steveshairychest]

tw: mentions of death

Eddie will forever be grateful that he got a second chance but now he's starting to feel the consequences of his immortality.

Steve's old enough to be his dad now. His hair is almost completely grey at 45; he says the stress of babysitting 6 kids really sped up the process. Eddie still thinks he's the most beautiful person alive, he's aging like fine wine right before his eyes and he's so glad that he gets to spend every second of his immortal life with Steve.

He just wished they'd grow old together.

Dustin's kids think it's weird that their dad is friends with someone who's only just 'freshly 21' but Eddie thinks it's weird that they've never questioned why the man they've known since they were infants hasn't aged a day. He's starting to realise that children are very oblivious, especially if you bring gifts everytime you visit.

He still DMs for the party except now their children join in too. They like to remind Eddie that his rules are very outdated. He gets a disappointed frown from one of his friends when he kills their kid's character just because they annoyed him.

He thought explaining his eternal youth to his friend's kids was going to be the hardest part but he was wrong.

The hardest part was watching all his friends die.

It never got easier. He held their hands, whispered words of comfort as he listened to their hearts slowly stop. He cursed his abilities in these moments; wished he couldn't smell the illness in their blood and hear their hearts get weaker and weaker as they grew older.

Steve went sooner than he expected.

It came on so suddenly, he had no time to prepare himself, no time to figure out a way to go with him.

"See the world for me." Steve whispers to him. He's smiling, he's fucking dying and he has the audacity to smile at Eddie.

"I don't want to live in a world without you." Eddie's voice cracks and he scoots his chair closer so that he can gently rest his head on Steve's stomach. Steve weakly plays with his hair, that stupid smile still on his face.

"Always so dramatic." Steve traces Eddie's face, runs his fingers over his eyes, his nose, his lips, the scar on the side of his face from the bats; something that feels like a lifetime ago. "I love you, Eds, I won't be mad if you find someone else. Just make sure you visit and tell me about them." Eddie's sobbing now, his body shaking as he cries and grips Steve's hand tighter. He can hear it. He can fucking hear his heart slow. It's a sound he'll never be able to forget.

"My heart belongs to you... in this life.. and the next." And then he's gone.

Eddie's ears ring and he knows he's causing a scene, knows that screaming Steve's name won't magically drag him back from whatever place he's gone to, but he can't stop. He has to be forcefully dragged out of the room which is a struggle because Eddie is stronger than the average human.

He hates the silence, hates that he'll never hear the calming, steady beat of his lovers heart. He doesn't sleep for weeks, it feels wrong to sleep in their bed without Steve. He doesn't eat, can't even bring himself to open the fridge and drink the last bit of blood Steve had put aside for him.

It gets to a point where Dustin's oldest kid, Julie, comes to visit and finds him curled up on the floor, hunger so bad he's unable to move, to speak.

"Steve wouldn't want this." She chides and force feeds him the blood from the fridge. He doesn't know when Dustin told her about him, doesn't really care at that point. All he can do is sob weakly as Steve's blood fills his mouth and brings him back from the edge. "Come on. We're going to visit dad."

Dustin's in a retirement home now.

He'd gone downhill after his wife died and the kids had their own lives, they didn't have time to look after him 24/7. Eddie would have taken him in if he'd known, but he's been in a state of limbo for 2 months now. He'd collapsed on the kitchen floor a week ago and would have stayed there if Julie hadn't shown up, his body can withstand neglect a lot better than he thought.

He's missed Robin's 70th birthday.

He's missed the birth of Mike and El's 4th grand kid.

He's missed the release of Will's final book in his series.

He's missed so much life while mourning Steve. He didn't realise so much could happen in just 2 months.

"Hey, dad, I've brought a visitor." Julie says softly, making sure not to startle Dustin. He's sitting on the small lounge next to the window, an old fantasy book in his hands, and seeing him sit there brings back memories of when they were younger. When Dustin used to come by Steve's house just to be near Eddie, to remind himself that Eddie was okay. They'd sit in the bay window in Steve's lounge room and read together for hours. Steve would walk by and flick the lamp on for them because they wouldn't even notice that the sun had set.

He can still see that little kid in the old man in front of him, he's hidden under the wrinkles and grey hair, but when his eyes light up and his smile takes over his face, Eddie sees the kid that he risked his life for. "Eddie!"

Julie leaves them to talk, says that she'll grab them all a cup of coffee. Eddie declines. He hasn't been able to drink coffee since Steve died. It reminds him too much of waking up to quiet humming from the kitchen and coffee flavoured kisses.

Dustin scolds Eddie for neglecting himself, for not calling him or coming to see him so that they could mourn together. It feels strange to be scolded by someone that you used to babysit.

"He told me to move on." Eddie says quietly, bitterly. "But I don't think I'll ever be able to forget him."

"You don't have to forget him." Dustin scoots closer to Eddie on the cramped lounge and makes him look him in the eyes. "You're going to be around for a long time, Eds. You can't be that stereotypical vampire that mourns his long lost love for centuries."

"Maybe I want to."

"Steve would strangle me when I see him next if I let you do that."

When I see him next.

That makes Eddie ache. Will he ever get to see Steve again? Can he even die? He doesn't want Dustin to leave him too but he knows Steve is probably lonely wherever he is. He never liked being on his own for very long.

Eddie leans against his friend's shoulder and sighs shakily. He doesn't want to cry again. He's tired of crying. "I feel hollow, Dustin. I think Steve took a part of me with him."

"He was always quite greedy when it came to you."

Eddie smiles for the first time in 2 months. "He was, wasn't he. He always stole your time with me." He playfully jabbed Dustin in the side and it felt good to laugh with him, to smile and see the familiar twinkle of joy in his friend's eyes.

When they stop laughing and the room fills with a comfortable silence, Eddie asks quietly, "Do you really think you'll see him again?"

Dustin hums and leans back into the lounge, a knowing smile on his lips. "You'll see him again, Eddie. I know it."

Eddie scoffs with a smile. "Why? Because you're old and wise?"

"Precisely."

Eddie knows Dustin is just saying what he wants to hear, what he thinks he needs to move on with his life, but a small part of himself hopes it's true.

He hopes that after he's seen the world, he'll be able to tell Steve all about it.

[minimoxha]

Tangled

Summary: After his wife and daughter died he thought he lost everything. However, you for some reason, you’d didn’t disappear. So, Miguel locked you up. He had to find some way to protect you so you couldn’t be taken from him like Gabriella. What better way to do that then keep you in his dimension where he could get to you in case of anything.

Warnings: Low key bad parenting, Mother knows best lyrics, Cussing if you squint. Maybe bad Spanish, things I grew up listening to.

W/C:

A/n This might be bad, it’s been a long time since i’ve written fanfic so bare with me! If you want a part two or three because i’ll prolly make a part too just let me know. And please give me some good Miguel and hobie fanfics down below!

Part two to this is posted: here

series masterlist is here

Even without a spider sense, Miguel could tell that something was up. The way she kept looking at him as she ate her breakfast, the way she kept shifting in her seat on the bar of their house that was really more of a castle that he forced her in years ago; and the way she was scarfing down her food so fast that it didn't even look like she had swallowed. Miguel liked to think that he knew his daughter pretty well, when her sister and mother died he became the only person she spoke to on a daily basis. However, who she spoke to wasn’t by choice. No, it was by force.

It was because her dad had locked her up in their house in order to ‘protect’ her from the dangers that could possibly be outside. Maybe an anomaly or some silly boy wanting to give you more but heartbreak. Miguel was all about protecting his one and only. You weren't bored in the house until now, your 18th birthday had finally been the day that cleaning, art, knitting, sewing and any of the other hobbies your dad had brought home for you to try became too tiring for your newly adult brain. You wanted to see the fireworks that unknowingly to you, Miguel set off every year in celebration for you. You wanted to meet actual people instead of being cooped up in the same boring house (Even if it was Huge!) every single day. It never actually rang to Miguel that one day, protecting you meant letting you out of his grasp at least once. Which is also why this time; he couldn't pinpoint what exactly was wrong with his daughter this time around.

“Que paso?” Miguel asked, food still in his mouth and turning to his daughter who had the same look on her face.

“It’s my birthday dad” His daughter, Y/n answered. She still had the smile on her face, when has Miguel ever said no to his daughter? Every single day she’d ask “when can I go out?” He’d always tell her someday and her eighteenth birthday had to be the day, Right? “I want to see the fireworks as my birthday present.”

Miguel’s eyes looked at her empty, as if there were no thoughts whatsoever behind his eyes. Except, all he could think about was holding Gabriella and you in his arms when she completely glitched and disappeared. The world risks something that would take his baby, his daughter, the thing that he fights for every single time he defeats an anomaly.

“You can see them from the window, you see them every year mami. Why is it so special this year?” (I see a lot of people using mami sexually but my dad and aunts called me and my sister mami as a nickname so that's what it’ll be!)

“I want to see them up close, outside dad. I’m tired of staying here all day every day. I need sun” She spoke, making Mig’s fist clench harder and harder on his fork, it was just about breaking now, minutes from that if he kept it up. “Please dad, I’m old enough to take care of myself. I’m eighteen! I can’t stay here forever with you. I want to go and have a life, meet people, make memo-”

“You speak as if you know so much about making a life. Mija, you know how dangerous it is out there. You are too naive, gullible, and ditzy to think that you will be safe with people waiting to mug you the moment you step foot from this house. I’m saying this because I love you. The final answer is no.” Miguel growled before finally snapping his fork in half and letting a sigh out. He ran a hand through his disheveled hair before taking the two clean bowls to the kitchen leaving his daughter to sit– dreams broken and in silence. Did he really completely turn her down? Suddenly, the girl felt her face heat up and her eyes develop that certain wetness that always came around on her birthday, never this early though. What coule she do now? What would happen now? Would she be stuck here forever without any way to get outside?

The familiar voice of her father woke her out of her thoughts. He came over, Putting an arm around his daughter as she leaned into his touch, sniffling. “Don’t cry, Mija. This is for the best so nothing will happen to you.” She nodded into his arms, not convinced. Miguel sighed and grabbed her head with his hand, turning the girl to face him. He could see the sadness that lied on his daughters face. However, he’d rather hurt her feelings then have her be hurt by anyone else. Why would she want to go out there when he could give her anything she ever wanted, easily. “Mija, I’m saying this because I love you. I want to protect you, tú entiendes.” The girl nodded and her dad kissed her forehead before leaving the house without even so much as a bye to his daughter. .

She didn’t understand. Why was it that every teen that she saw on the tv and her computer were able to go live outside their houses and have fun. Make memories like parties and Malls and games? Why was the world so dangerous for her but not for everyone else? The girl got up and walked to the kitchen where Miguel left his and her dirty dishes in the sink. She had to clean again, even on a day as special as her birthday. It was almost like, he didn’t even care. The girl turned on music, a group called Exon, the group was home to her dimension and happened to be dropping by for a concert in Nueva York. She was contemplating asking to go but Miguels answer would probably be the same as always. A no. Y/n felt those familiar tears well up in her eye before the sound of her window opening sprung her away from the music. Whoever was trying to break in, was really loud with it. Quickly, she grabbed whatever was closest to her- A frying pan and continued to the Dining room hesitantly.

Millions of thoughts were racing through the girls head. Who was breaking in? How did they get past the security system even she couldn’t break? Was what miguel said true? Were people really waiting on you in order to kill or rob you? Her thoughts disappeared when she stood in the entryway , seeing nothing but an empty dining room. She stood hands on her hips, questioning if maybe what she heard was apart of the song and the alarm system blaring was just an accident.

“‘Ello love, Have you seen this big man wearing a red and black spandex suit? He looks like a clown almost.” With a gasp, The girl turned to face another spider-man, just like your father. But this one was different, he was wearing clothes along with the suit. The suit even had cool little spikes on his head. She couldn’t stop herself from staring at him in awe, her eyes only widened when the man took his mask off. He was brown skin with Wiks Littering his head. She could tell that he grew his hair out for a while to achieve as much hair he had. Piercings littered his face, adding to the rocker touch that the man already gave. She dropped the pan to the floor and scrambles to get her thoughts together. So he was another spider-man, looking for her father. A cute spider-man at that.

Of course, she knew about Hq and the whole dimension things but usually people contacted him through his watch and not his phone. So how was he here and not through the hologram? It’d been ages since she’s seen another person other than her dad, it almost didn’t feel real or right to be here, looking at someone. “My names Y/n. My dad- My dad’s not here right now actually he just left.” She said, looking everywhere but in the eyes of the spiky spider-man. “What’s your name? You’re a spider-man just like him?”

The man gave a nod before walking through the house and taking a closer look. The girl followed right behind him watching him with wide eyes as he checked out the house. The two ended up right in the kitchen. “I’m sorry- who are you? Why are you roming my house like you know it?” She Was now defensive, arms crossed and shifted on one leg. If men had anything it was the audacity to roam her house without an intoxication at least.

“Right. Names Hobbie Brown.”

Thanks for reading! I hope y’all enjoyed that, it’s been a long time since i’ve written so i’ll try to produce better things next time! Until then,

[marmorafarms]

So I got some sfw Sebastian head canons to share. I'm curious what you guys think!

My first hc is that Sebby is mixed race. More specifically, white and east Asain. Even MORE specifically, he has Japanese heritage.

He doesn't dye his hair, it is naturally black.

Definitely a pot smoker based on Robin's canon dialog, as well as what looks like a bong in his spouse room. Is it an empty vase? Maybe. But I'm not convinced.

Switches to edibles when you point out that smoking pot is not healthy for your lungs either.

As soon as he finds a helmet small enough, he puts it on your child and takes them for rides on his motorcycle. My grandpa took me on motorcycle rides starting at age 7 so don't say this isn't possible.

While Sebastian might shit talk Maru on the regular, he actually has a good relationship with her. They aren't best friend siblings, but they know they can count on the other no matter what.

Once he no longer lives with Demetrius, he manages to form a sort of kind of friendship with him.

Sebastian's dad died when he was a baby. He was killed by a drunk driver. This is why two of Sebastian's hated items are beer and wine.

He was weirded out by you calling him "Sebby" since it's a childhood nickname. But he grew to love you calling him by that name.

In fact, if you call him Sebastian instead of Sebby, he assumes you're either mad at him, or had a bad day. Or maybe both. He'll ask about it though, and the majority of the time you were in a perfectly good mood, you just felt like using his whole name.

He is good at communicating. Yes he has anxiety, but his mom drilled the power of communication into his skull, so he knows it's important.

He makes an attempt at learning to cook, and doubles down when you have kids. He looked up how to make homemade baby food, and always uses your fresh produce to do so.

He pretends to hate being called a "house husband" but actually really likes it.

His Solarian Chronicals character is a mage who is also a Lizardfolk. He picked this combination solely because he wanted to call himself a Lizard Wizard as much as possible.

He FaceTimes Sam every night. You tease him about Sam being his secret boyfriend. Sam says "who said it was a secret?" Sebastian did not appreciate this, but wasn't actually mad.

He is the first to apologize after a fight.

Calls you his sweet baby frog as a pet name. Everyone except for you finds this strange. But considering his love for frogs, you are extremely flattered.

And that's all I have for right now! Let me know what you think!

[babbletaels]

For some reason I'm kinda obsessed with Wish so here's some theories for you guys.

Magnifico didn't think that Ashas grandfathers wish was dangerous, nor did he not want to grant it due to it not benefitting him. It's a possibility that Magnifico actually just can't grant it.

Every single wish that Magnifico grants in Wish is a wish that has to do with a talent. I know we see a guy with super long hair and Asha sings about going to space and stuff, but I don't think Magnifico can actually grant wishes.

I think Magnifico can give people talents.

This is why he asks Asha about her talent with drawing, and it's why he suggests to her "imagine if someone would wish to be the best apprentice ever" (or whatever, I watched it in my language not english) because he can give her magical powers so she could be his apprentice. He didn't grant someones wish to be the best seamstress, he just gave her the talent to sow. And he gave Simon talents that a knight would have, to grant his wish to be a knight. At the same time he most probably employed both of them in their dream professions.

Since Ashas grandpa didn't wish to be good at something, he didn't wish to be good at playing the guitar but rather he wished he could do something to inspire the next generation, that means magnifico can't grant it. Magnifico can't just poof you wherever you want to be, he can only give you a talent. Think of it like this: what's your dream? Maybe your dream is to be an artist full time, but you're poor and can barely afford to buy paint so you have to work instead. If someone gave you a shitload of money, you would be able to stop working and focus entirely on your dream. That's kinda equal to what magnifico is doing, except everyone in Rosas lives there for free (he doesn't even charge them rent, you guys) so it's more like you have a dream to be idk a great singer but you don't want to go to singing lessons so he can give you a great singing voice. He can give you a talent or enhance your talent. But also he doesn't want you to know this, because then people wouldn't actually wish what they actually desired deep in their heart. A shallow wish isn't as good as your hearts deepest wish obviously.

Kinda lame to only be able to enhance someones already inherent talent though, right? Well you forgot something. Maybe that's why everyone who gives Magnifico their wish forgets what the wish even was. Now they can't pursue the dream on their own, maybe he even took their talent altogether. Now you can't sing or paint anymore. If we say you're an aspiring artist but you can't afford paint, and you get a job but you still can't afford paint or a computer or anything at all, that is actually kinda like society stealing your talent from you. Maybe you even give up on your dream and forget it was ever there, and just hope that one day you will magically feel fulfilled in life. That's kind of like how the people of Rosas feel, they have no ability to actually pursue their dreams other than sitting around and hoping Magnifico will grant their wish one day.

Something that bothered me in the movie is that Asha doesn't actually have a wish, she doesn't seem that into the idea of magic and the only thing we see her doing is obsess over her grandfathers wish being granted. But I have another theory for you!

Ashas wish was for her father to get better, to not be sick anymore. But he died, so her wish was crushed. Ever since then, she has been obsessed with helping others make their dreams come true, that's why she thinks it's unfair that not everyone can get their wish granted, because hers wasn't. That's why she especially wants her grandfathers wish to be granted, because he reminds her of her dad.

So when Asha sings "I want something more for us than this", her great wish that is granted by a star... What she is actually wishing is that everyones wishes could be granted. She wants something more for them than this is a really bad way of phrasing it and extremely vague, and maybe they could've shown why Asha is so disturbed by the wishes not being granted before showing us her wish that is so great that a star comes down from the sky. Her wish is vague because maybe she doesn't really know what she wants either since her true wish was crushed.

See, this movie is starting to make a little bit more sense now, isn't it?

Okay one last theory. This one is a bit more speculative. But on the topic of crushing someones dreams..

Magnificos wish was to get his family back.

Maybe once upon a time, Magnifico saw someone who claimed they had gotten a wish granted by wishing at a star. Magnifico wasn't a magician when he was younger. Then his family died, and Magnifico wished at the stars to get them back, and it didn't work. He was still just a kid, an orphan, and he started learning magic in order to grant his own wish, not realizing that it was impossible to grant such a wish. His dreams/wish was crushed when he realized, but he realized he could grant other peoples wishes, and then realized that something about having another persons wish made him feel.. more whole? Maybe that's why he started hoarding peoples wishes. And he IS keeping them safe from being crushed.. and he IS taking peoples worries away. Imagine your greatest wish, your dream in life, being something that actually can't ever be fulfilled, like maybe your big dream that makes you who you are is that, like Asha, your father was still alive. That would hurt. And Magnifico can make you forget about that being your wish. Magnifico likes having control over the wishes because he didn't have control over his own wish.

So the conflict in this movie is between two people who went through the same thing, but have different opinions on how to fix the situation. Magnifico wants to keep the wishes safe and the people happy in blissful ignorance because he couldn't grant his own wish of getting his family back, while Asha's loss of her father caused her to want everyone to have a chance to get their wishes granted. Wait let me make it clearer. Magnifico thinks it's better if people don't experience grief at all, even if it means they will never achieve their dream. Asha believes grief is worth it just to have a chance at achieving your dreams.

Idk. Anyway that's all I had for you today

No wait.

Let's talk about you being a star... What does that even mean? Well, you wish upon a star and your dreams come true. You're a star means you can make your dreams come true. Only a star can fulfill your wish and you are one. It's entirely a metaphor. Though it is a metaphor with.... very dire consequences for the lore. Like so is everyone born from a wish? Did someone wish to have a child and a star had to come down to earth and be born as a child, and that's how people became stars? I don't know. What if.. A star that stays on earth for too long simply turns into a human? Idk this metaphor should've kinda stayed a metaphor but it didn't so here we are....

Wait if only a star can grant wishes does that mean Magnifico is a star? When you take a wish away from a human does that turn them into fully a human? if you're a star so you can fulfill your own wish, why did a star respond when Asha wished? Is Asha not a star anymore because her wish was destroyed?

Ok now I'm done.

Wait also if everyones deepest wish is a star that's why when people die in disney movies they become stars, that's pretty neat

Ok I'm gonna stop now

[br1ghtestlight]

they're wearing their raincoats so for me this is already a 10/10 episode. love when they wear their raincoats!!

not big bob and tina going on the toddler rides at amusement parks together. LESS THRILL MORE CHILL. truly two autistic peas in a pod <3

big bob is seventy five (at least according to louise) this is important lore. also this means bob's dad is the same age as his gayass old man landlord who flirts with him every other day FJDMDJDKSMS according to my caculations big bob would've been 29ish when he had bob which means he met lily when they were in their early twenties. that also means (assuming that lily was the same age as big bob) lily would have been around 43 when she died although the math doesn't add up 100% if you consider her being born in 1941 because it would mean this episode takes place in 2016 which it doesn't. am i overthinking this one-off line where louise guestimates big bob's age??? yes i am thank you VERY MUCH.

LMAOO NOT THE BIG BOB REPUBLICAN DOOMER ARC OH NOOO

big bob making conversation while spending the day with his very young grandchildren: so have you considered that the world is terrible and people are awful and we should all kill ourselves? thoughts?

(im sure that isn't what bob meant its just funny to imagine big bob depression posting circa 2013 tumblr @ his grandkids all day)

ALSO this implies bob has been talking to big bob more regularly lately which is great. they're working on their relationship. a little bit :)

BIG BOB FOR REAL BEING A QANON TRUTHER EXCUSE ME???? THE FUCK. ohh he's literally a doomer he's watching videos about the upcoming apocolypse and how to ration food. HE'S A CLIMATE CHANGR DOOMER ITS SO OVERR im sorry thats so funny im obsessed w/ him

also our first time ever seeing (what im assuming is) bob's childhood home!! very cute. and he made them cookies

BIG BOB COMING TO VISIT BOB AT HIS RESTAURANT???? HUGE WIN???

why is big bob calling bob randomly to talk about how the world is ending and tigers are going extinct what is GOING on. at least he believes in climate change??

"like he's getting ready to..... leave the party. so he doesn't feel bad about telling everyone how much the party stinks" DONT TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT if there's an episode where big bob dies its over for me. like its done <- there won't be but i would be very very sad IF THERE WAS. to be fair we gotta kill off linda's parents too though

aww they're texting regularly <3 i like how you can ALREADY see how much bob and big bob's relationship has improved since the start of the show where bob Literally thought his dad hated him and that he was a disappointment. see what actual open communication can do for you!! im happy bob has at least one parent he can talk to kinda sorta? HE SHARES HELPFUL TIPS SO THAT BOB CAN SAVE HIS FAMILIES LIFE HES TRYING TO HELPP :(

"and today its just gonna be him. and them. and the giant cloud of darkness that follows him wherever he goes" funnily enough thats also what people say when talking about me :3

GRANDPA HUG!!!!!!!

"pop pop how much cotton candy is TOO MUCH cotton candy" "i dont know. three??"

LMAO FOR SOME REASON THAT REMINDS ME OF THIS FUCKIGN QUOTE. big bob when gene comes out to him as genderfluid like

wharf day with pop-pop!!! wharf day with pop-pop!!!!!

grandpa needs a little bench time. im ALWAYS saying this tbh

"don't get any tattoos that your parents can see" FUN GRANDPA he's definitely a better grandpa than he is a dad bcuz he was not doing this shit w/ bob when he was young i can tell you that much

OMG I LOVE TEDDYS RAINJACKET?? sorry i live in a rainforest its my god given right to comment on people's rainy day fashion. its like my one job

"i need to ask you guys A HUGE favor. can you try to take a good picture of me" teddy u are literally always hot this shouldn't be a problem. you're DRIPPING sex appeal. except this is for a handyman website so maybe less sexy?ANY PICTURE I TRY TO TAKE OF MYSELF I LOOK LIKE A MURDERER FJFMDNFJDKDNDJXHXH

louise shows up whenever she goes and figured out the best way to Cause Problems and i respect that about her. that takes real talent and dedication

one thing about the belcher kids they WILL end up locked inside a fortune telling clam in wonder wharf

he's sooo baby

everything is so okay bob dont even WORRY. big bob is asleep on a bench and the kids are stuck inside a giant clam they've done more dangerous stuff like twice this week already. at least they're inside??

"its fun when your dad shows up to. check on your grandpa"

ITS SO EASY FOR YOU BOB WITH YOUR CHARMING LOVEABLE FACE

do you not trust me with the kids :( noo big bob they literally (kinda) trusted GAYLE with the kids for AN ENTIRE WEEKEND u cant be worse than her at taking care of them. she was making them do some shit that Kids should not be doing. anyone remember the pretty paws

??? why was he just randomly like oohh we should win that gorilla for the kids. he loves them SO MUCH im gonna cry <3 he literally loves them and wants them to be happy. he SPOILS them. he's such a good grandpa and such a terrible dad lmfao

"are we being punished? for being helpful and delightful??"

if i was walking around an amusement park and i heard a robotic fortune telling clam SCREAMING for somebody to help it escape i would get the fuck outta there so fast sorry kids. you might be on your own w/ this one

i dont know why bob is acting like he doesn't lose the kids four times a week MINIMUM those mfs will run off anywhere if given half the chance. they live for the thrill

"we lose 'em and then we find them. that's our thing" ?? what did he mean by this

WHY ARE THEY LOOKING FOR "CUTE" TOOLS this subplot is so funny im kinda obsessed. mechanics for the girlies

HOW DO YOU MAKE A TAPE MEASURER LOOK SCARY........

teddy is scaring the hoes nooo. its okay teddy i would hire you maybe(??) well. yknow

IM A GENTLE PERSON :( teddy i will always be your biggest fan wtf he's literally so sweet. he wouldnt hurt a fly

silly <33

LMAO not louise just lying there and saying help us. help us. help us into the microphone she's so cute and SOOO over this whole situation

TEDDY IS HAPPIEST WHEN HE'S EATING BOB'S BURGERS THATS SO SWEET WTF

he's a good grandpa :(

SOMETIMES YOUR GRANDPA CAN BE A LITTLE DARK ABOUT LIFE AND NEGATIVE. YOU MEAN LIKE YOU LMAOO

if you keep saying stuff like that around your grandkids they're gonna believe you.... and then it might actually come true. so maybe don't say horrible stuff about the future to people who will have to live in that future </3

IM NOT ALWAYS WORRIED ABOUT THE FUTURE AND THATS **BECAUSE** OF MY GRANDKIDS what if i cry right now. he literally loves them so much he's such a good grandpa!!! wtf Anyone else thinking about amelia right now. the ending

AAWWW THIS EPISODE WAS SO CUTE IM OBSESSED WITH BIG BOB he was such a terrible father but he's the best grandpa and he loves these kids SO MUCH. genuinely. and im so happy that his relationship w/ bob is getting better and that they're on better terms. also the subplot with teddy was adorable i always love teddy and linda subplots. they're BESTIES. maaaybe my favorite episode from this season so far but honestly they've all been so great that there's like five different episodes competing for that spot. and we're still only eight episodes in!!! absolutely everything i wanted from an episode with big bob (even if lily wasn't mentioned. SAD!! oh well there are other episodes) and i loved learning more abt his relationship with his grandkids and that dynamic ^_^ <33

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

I was wondering if you knew any fics with Scott being a good friend? I feel like people villainise Scott too much, and that they ignore that fact that they've been friends for literally nearly two decades. I don't really mind the ship, I just rally want a Good Friend Scott McCall fic for once.

Hi @woopy-doopey! @kevaaronday made this fic and said "Ngl i do love a good bad friend scott fic, but good friend scott always hits the spot!"

You Can Stay As Long As You Want by jacyevans (5/5 | 26,116 | Teen | Sterek) When Derek arrives upstairs, Erica takes one look at him, rolls her eyes, and takes the bags of groceries from his hands.

“So I see Mr. 5B has arrived,” she says, leaning against the counter, shoulders shaking with laughter.

Derek hates his pack.

Stiles and Scott are the new tenants in Derek's apartment building. While Derek and Stiles attempt to ignore their burgeoning interest in each other, their respective packs make sure nothing will keep the two idiots from falling in love - except maybe the faulty elevator.

Then There Was You by WaitASecondWhat (4/4 | 16,913 | Mature | Sterek) Stiles Stilinski was Scott's best friend and no one could say anything different. They had been friends since they were babies. Unfortunately Stiles had to move to New York when he was 11 to see if a special doctor could help his mother, Claudia. They couldn’t and she died that year. Stiles' dad didn’t expect her to pass so quickly and had already secured a job so they stayed. It had been 6 years but they were still as close as ever. Except Stiles didn’t know about the whole supernatural thing. 

Then Stiles comes back and happiness, crushing on Derek and angst ensue.

the banana bread incident by Thealmostrhetoricalquestion (1/1 | 10,287 | Teen | Sterek) "Is this a plastic spoon?" Stiles demands in disgust. "You do realise that there's actual cutlery in the kitchen, right? I'm surrounded by morons who don't know how to use a kitchen."

“I know how to use a kitchen,” Derek protests lazily. “It’s just that all the other spoons were dirty.”

“There’s this revolutionary new invention,” Stiles says, widening his eyes in mock-amazement. “It’s called a sink.”

In which there are tiny pink shorts, a kissing gate, a cat called Pumpkin and a plethora of awkward moments.

Scott McCall’s I Saw It First by WhereDestiniesMeet17 (1/1 | 5,875 | Teen | Steter) It's as he's drifting off to sleep that he has revelation number three. They have no fucking idea. Not a clue that they are in love, much less with each other. Scott laughs so hard that he wakes not only himself, but half the pack. 

-

Or the one where Scott figures out that Stiles and Peter are in love way before they do. Meanwhile, they have monsters to take care of.

Diary Of An Overworked Nurse by RoryMarx (1/1 | 4,636 | Gen) If you have it… we’ll do something,” Scott suddenly said, and then they were hugging.

Crystal looked at them, could feel the other adults do the same, and the only word she could describe the hug with was desperate. Scott and Stiles clung to each other like two people afraid to drown. It was heartbreaking. These teenagers loved each other. No matter what the MRI showed today, Crystal knew Stiles wouldn’t just have his dad to count on – he would also have Scott.

OR: Over the years the nurses and doctors of Beacon Hills Memorials watched Stiles and Scott grow up - they saw a lot of tears, hugs, laughter, and grief.

5 Times Scott and Stiles Celebrated Their Humanity + 1 Time There Were Werewolves

Hold the Sugar; You’re Sweet Enough by Dani Mahealani (1/1 | 2,846 | Gen | Sterek) Stiles loves his friends, he really does. But as he’s making Derek’s latte, he catches what Scott’s written on Derek’s cup and groans.

“What are you, twelve? You know Derek already has my number. He’s had my number. We text every day,” Stiles says as he works on the latte.

Scott looks over at him from the register with the most innocent grin in the world and shrugs. “I know, but I wanted to make a statement.”

Stiles rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “You mean adding ‘+ SS’ underneath his name and drawing a heart around it wasn’t enough of a statement?”

“If you’re not going to flirt with him yourself, I’ll just flirt with him for you,” Scott says, shrugging.

or the one where their meddling friends decide it's high time for stiles and derek to get their acts together and date

Summertime Fling by TheSlyestFox (2/2 | 2,740 | Teen | Stiles/Brett) After all the supernatural drama over the last few years, Stiles is ready for a break. Summer brings the perfect opportunity for a respite when he signs up for a painting class through the local community college. He loves his pack, but a little R&R is just what he needs to reset for senior year. His plans go awry when Brett Talbot unexpectedly joins him at his table. He's annoyed at first, but Brett's flirtatious and jovial personally cuts right through his defenses.

[deviledcake]

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ My DR self, backstory!

Hogwarts DR, professor x professor, +secret marriage. My s/o is Severus Snape, and my DR self is Lilla Raywood.

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Back in the 70s, at the time Lilla and Severus were just both 11, they didn’t know each other until their 6th year at Hogwarts.

Severus and Lily aren’t friends anymore, and Severus is feeling lonely, until one day he meets Lilla (me), at the library. Severus looks at her as she seems to be looking for a book, and he finally asks "Are you looking for something?", the girl turns her head and looks at Severus, and tells him, "Yeah… Could you help me?" Severus smiles at her, gladly accepting the offer, and finds the book she was looking for. And they become friends!

Lilla started developing feelings for him when they first met, and so did Severus, but he never admitted his feelings and neither did Lilla. 7th year approached and suddenly a Ravenclaw, Lawson Bristlecone, confessed his feelings to Lilla, Lilla was flattered by Lawson’s confession, and Severus was not, he was jealous. He wanted to be Lilla’s boyfriend, not Lawson.

+Plus, Lilla only decided to date Lawson because she thought it would get rid of her feelings for Severus, but that didn’t work.

When Lilla and Lawson started dating, she started talking about him, almost every time at the great hall at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Severus was saddened by this, and every time he saw Lawson with her, he would shoot a glare at him.

One time, Lawson came up to Severus with a sly smirk at the Library.

"What do you want?" Severus asked, annoyed at Lawson’s presence.

Lawson leaned into Severus’ ear, whispering, "I know you like her." Lawson told Severus, snickering.

When they turned into adults, Severus got his memories of Lilla erased (by VOLDEMORT), and they hadn’t talked since about, probably 1980. (Lilla didn’t know that happened until Hagrid told her. I don’t know how Hagrid knows.)

Lilla got married in 1980, at the age of 20. But it wasn’t Severus. She got married to Lawson. Lilla got pregnant and gave birth to Scott Bristlecone on February 6th, 1980. A very quiet and curious boy. In 1986, at the age of 25, Lawson died in a car crash.

In 1987, at the age of 27, Lilla returned to Hogwarts and became a professor. When Severus came to greet Lilla in her office, and as the new professor at Hogwarts, he looked at her in the doorway, memorizing and thinking he’d seen her before. (he has, as a teenager.) Lilla recognized Severus but Severus didn’t say anything since he got his memories of Lilla erased ever since he met Voldemort. Lilla and Severus started falling in love with each other in 1987, and in 1988 they started dating. 1988-1989.

Next year, Severus proposed to Lilla, they’re in a SECRET marriage and now Severus is Scott’s stepdad at the age of 9, in 1989. In 1991, Lilla and Severus were (secretly) married for 3 years and Scott became 11 in 1991, meeting Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger on the train.

When the four got sorted into their houses, Scott was the last one to be sorted into a house. And guess what? He was sorted into GRYFFINDOR. And because of that, Lilla is a Hufflepuff, Lawson is a Ravenclaw, and Severus is a Slytherin, right? Severus was expecting Scott to be a Slytherin, maybe even a Hufflepuff, or Ravenclaw since Scott’s biological dad was a Ravenclaw, but no. He got sorted into Gryffindor, and as soon as Severus heard the sorting hat say "Gryffindor”, his eyes widened and he was stunned.

Another bonus, nobody knows that Lilla and Severus are married, not even Dumbledore. (He still thinks they’re dating since 1988.) Except, McGonagall and Hagrid only know. And another bonus (again), Severus and Lilla don’t live in the same house. Severus visits though! All the time.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

Edit here: Lawson is dead! (I made a whole backstory for him over here, but I now want him dead in my DR.)

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

(P.S., my grammar is kinda bad and I have not read the books and I regret it, I’m new and I’m so sorry, I’ve only watched the movies. And for that, I’m going to start reading since I have the first two books, and uh… I might read them with an audio or smth like that, that’s it!)

(If there is anything wrong with the backstory, I’ll see what I could do and change it. My backstory might change later on, so… yeah.)

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐁𝐄 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓:

Not sure!

[nerves-nebula]

being suicidal is pretty funny sometimes. pretty much everyone in my family who doesn't die of cancer dies by suicide. got all my matrilineal grandmas for the past like 200 years, plus mom's dad, an uncle, a cousin on my dad's side, etc. mom's tried before. people in my family love to kill themselves it's like our one uniting pastime transcending all politics and opinions. me n my siblings all have that mental illness mental hospital patient swag too but i got on meds that work seven years ago and i've been golden since. written a bunch of fiction about characters dealing with generational curses and suicidality and chronic pain and grief. have had people tell me that those stories saved them and/or gave them strength at extremely dark times in their lives.

which is awesome except now my immune system has started trying to kill me, i guess as a punishment for not ending things when i was 15. which is making me suicidal for the first time in ages. but this time it's for extremely reasonable reasons of, like, 'you can only lose so much of your brain function and ability to move and capacity for pain before it's just simple logic to die about it.' got an OC i project alla that on so i can write it when i can write, which is hit-or-miss due to the aforementioned brain function stuff, but it's like. NOW if i kill myself everyone who was helped by my writing is gonna think it was all a lie and that life really is hopeless bc if i couldn't escape the generational curse then why should they, and it's just. like. no guys i SWEAR i meant it and still do mean it. it's still relevant for you. i am just dying for reasons that are completely unrelated. chill out

anyway i'm not allowed to die by suicide OR by autoimmune disease because i too have been forbidden by my life partners, & it would actually ruin their lives if i did, so i'm not in danger or anything. most of the time i'm very well-adjusted and coping excellently. and i hope you're taking care of yourself as well. it's just like DAMN. i really gotta fight EVERY GODDAMN DAY for the next SIXTY YEARS?? EVERY GODDAMN DAY?? AM I NOT ALLOWED ONE FUCKING BREAK,

man that sucks ASS. i mean. it's like kind of funny that your entire family lineage appears to be fucking cursed. but in a "god that sucks" kind of way not a "haha" way.

NOW if i kill myself everyone who was helped by my writing is gonna think it was all a lie and that life really is hopeless bc if i couldn't escape the generational curse then why should they, and it's just. like. no guys i SWEAR i meant it and still do mean it. it's still relevant for you. i am just dying for reasons that are completely unrelated. chill out

anyway i'm not allowed to die by suicide OR by autoimmune disease because i too have been forbidden by my life partners, & it would actually ruin their lives if i did, so i'm not in danger or anything.

these are hella fuckin relatable. the main reasons i cant kms are

girlfriend would be so sad :(

it means i wasted ppls money sending me to college

if i kms then who will finish my comics???? who will talk casually about incest on this damn webbed site???

i often describe it as less of wanting to kms and more like i want a break from life. like a nice coma or something. or the ability to skip over periods of time. UNFORTUNATELY i must SUFFER to LIVE. SAD oh well guess I'll embrace the good and bad the world has to offer, as if I have a CHOICE!!

[irrolyphant]

.

So recently I posted about how things in my life are gonna get very bad, and that I would probably suddenly be gone for some time. I thought I’d update you on that.

It hasn’t happened yet, and we don’t know when it will.

The long-story-short is that my amazing Dad is dying.

———————————————

In 2020 he was told he had prostate cancer. Due to the pandemic, many cancer patients received little to no help from the NHS, and my Dad was no exception. We were literally left to google his cancer in order to learn anything about it. Eventually, we were led to believe (don’t get me started on the complete lack of honesty and openness of literally every NHS professional we’ve encountered so far) that his cancer, while not curable, could be slowed down to the point that he would die of old age WITH cancer, not OF cancer.

So many terrible awful dreadful things have happened since then. Seriously, he’s been through so fucking much. And then, early this year he was told he had a second cancer. (After being told he does, then he doesn’t, then he does, then he doesn’t…) This one is incredibly rare, and no-one in our local hospitals can identify it beyond the fact that it’s a bone cancer. Because of its rarity, it cannot be treated at all. And it’s spread. So too, it turns out, has his prostate cancer.

His bone cancer has “eaten” away his right hip, and his right leg is now up in his pelvis. And his right femur is broken. So he is, of course, unable to walk. The doctors said (in pretty much the only direct communication we’ve had from any doctors) had he remained bedbound, he’d have died by April. But because we can lift him into a wheelchair then lift him into his armchair, his lungs are able to clear every day, and his heart is getting exercise, so they said that’s keeping him going. But he likely won’t see Christmas.

Before I made my previous post, his health declined enormously, and we were sure he was nearing the end of his battle. But, in his words, he’s “a stubborn bastard” and he somehow managed to improve again (not quite to the way he was before the decline, but pretty close).

So, we have no clue whatsoever about when anything might happen. We just know that it will.

———————————————

I don’t know how I’m going to react, but I do know that I am going to be absolutely devastated. Don’t let them fool you — knowing it’s going to happen doesn’t make it easier! As I said before, I might take a hiatus for however long. But then again, who knows, maybe I’ll find that being here is a fantastic distraction??

So yeah. I thought I’d fill you in, in case you were curious or concerned, and were wondering how things are going, as since I posted not a lot has changed in terms of how I’m posting here.

🫶��

[jmagnabo92]

HJP Week - 1 - Holiday Balls

For First Dates & holidays

@harryjamespotterweek

Harry's nervous about his first date with Neville at the holiday ball after the war.

AO3

***

Harry’s nervous as he dresses for his first date with Neville.  He hadn’t intended to ask him out in the first place.  He’d just been nervous about the ball for the holiday after the war ended and they’d been talking about how awkward things have been with Ginny (and Ron) since he wasn’t very sure of himself after everything.  So lost ever since he died and came back.  

He needed time and six months later, he knew that he didn’t want to be with Ginny and instead had somehow fallen in love with Neville.  Only Neville didn’t know it.

Or maybe he did know since Harry had asked him to the ball in the most embarrassing way possible.  Just blurting out that they should band together to keep the people at bay since Neville knew how much the crowds, people and attention bother him.  

He tries to smooth down his hair, but nothing happens as usual.  

He groans and jumps when someone speaks behind him.

“You’re going to be fine,” Sirius offers.  He, too, is dressed for the ball.  Kingsley had gotten him cleared after he had come back from veil, and he would be the temporary Minister’s date for the evening.  

Harry’s only glad that if it got too much, he’d have Sirius for support.  

“I just – shouldn’t be this nervous.  I’ve spent every day with Neville for years…” Harry says, uncertainly.

Sirius chuckles.  “Just because you’ve known someone for years doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be nervous.  This is a first date – first dates are nerve wracking.”

Harry nods.  “Yeah, but I – I mean, was it this bad for you?”

Sirius hums.  “The first date I ever had?  Or the first date that mattered?”

Harry gives him a look.  “I meant for your first date with mum and dad.”

“I tried to pretend I wasn’t, but I was a complete mess,” Sirius states.  “It wasn’t until your mum reminded us – because your dad was a total mess, too – that no matter what, we should be ourselves and act like it was any other day.  Because that took the pressure off.  So, just, think about tonight as just any old ball – yes, there will be attention and blowhards wanting to be all over you – but you have your friend and maybe things become special, maybe they don’t, but all that matters is that you just be yourself.”

“Be myself,” Harry repeats.  “Like that’s so easy when I still don’t know who I am.”

“You’re Harry, my kid.  The kid that loves quidditch and the color gold.  The kid that would rather spend his days listening to his old man reminisce about the old days than talk about his crazy adventures.  The kid that cares for too much about people who don’t deserve it, and wants to travel the world and experience what he’s been denied…”

Harry chuckles.  “There’s still a lot missing there.”

“You’re eighteen – you don’t have to know who you are just yet.  Just know that you’re a loving, forgiving, extremely brave kid that I’m lucky to have.”

“Thanks, Pads,” Harry says, giving him a hug.

“Now, come on, our dates are no doubt waiting for us.”

***

Harry can’t help smiling when he realizes that Sirius is right.  Despite still feeling a bit nervous, he is happy to walk around with Neville through the gorgeous ballroom and mingle (or escape for some solitude whenever they could) and felt at ease.  It felt like they were back in Hogwarts (where they’d both been finishing their last year of school), and not at all on an official date, except holding one another’s hands.

Although sometimes, people were a little extra when it came to talking to him and meeting him, it has gotten worse since the end of the war, and luckily, the dinner being served allowed for an escape.  

“Is it me or have people completely lost their minds?” Neville teases as he takes his seat beside Harry, who’s sitting next to Sirius and Kingsley.  The rest of the ten-person table is filled with familiar faces: Ron and Hermione, Bill and Fleur, and Tonks and Remus.  The rest of the Weasleys are at another table since they couldn’t all fit at this one.  Kingsley had wanted to be surrounded by the people who fought throughout the whole war and people that wouldn’t drive Sirius and Harry nuts. 

“They’ve always been a bit nuts around me,” Harry states.  “You should’ve seen when Hagrid announced I’d returned when he first brought me to Diagon Alley.  Honestly, I kept hoping it would die down…”

“And then went on to save the world,” Hermione offers, teasingly.  “I don’t think that was a good method to lose the excitement.”

Harry gives her a look.  “It wasn’t intentional – all I ever wanted was a normal life.”

Hermione grins at him.  “Good luck with that.”

Neville laughs.  “Anyway, even if it doesn’t, it’s not like I didn’t know.”

“You sure you’d want to put up with it all the time?” Ron questions.  

It’s a fair question.  After all, Ron had walked out purely because he couldn’t handle it all of the time even if he did come back, but the way that Neville and Sirius react suggest ulterior motives.  

“Yes, because I can handle it,” Neville states.

“Besides, Neville is a hero in his own right just like everyone else at this table,” Harry states.  “He just did the work at Hogwarts – where it was needed.”

He smiles at the blushing Neville, who looks pleased.  “Only because you were busy actually saving the world.”

It’s his turn to blush, and he feels Neville squeeze his hand.  He’d almost completely forget that anyone else is even around except… 

“You two are way too mushy for a first date,” Sirius teases.

“Oh, leave the kids alone,” Kingsley states.  “Don’t you remember when you were their age?”

“You mean a million years ago,” Harry teases.  He gives Sirius a knowing grin, who replies by sticking his tongue out at him.

“You’re such a prat,” Sirius teases.  “But I am glad you’re enjoying yourself.”

“Always.”

***

The rest of the evening went by quickly.  The dinner and a small ceremony celebrating that their world can celebrate this holiday, and then dancing and mingling.  Lucky for Harry, he didn’t have to explain to Neville how much he hates dancing.  Aside from one or two dances, the two of them were allowed to hang out on the outskirts talking and flirting (somewhat badly) with each other, somehow managing to enjoy the event.  

Eventually, though, it was time for things to wind down, and Harry feels nervous, again.  

How did first dates end?

Most of his dates had ended with the girl skipping out on him – Parvati, Cho, even Ginny.  Something had come up on their first date, too.  He supposed that he could count the kissing before she went to her dorm room as how to end a date, but was that right?  Wouldn’t it be different since they started their relationship with a kiss?  

As they walk over to the fireplaces to floo home, slowly, Neville breaches the subject first.  

“Erm, I had fun.”

“Me too.  Balls aren’t really my thing, but it was a lot better with you here,” Harry states.  

“Did you want to come back to my flat for a nightcap?” Neville offers.  

Given that Harry didn’t want to go there just yet, and in fact, is terrified of the idea, he’s a bit stunned.  He doesn’t know what to say.  

Neville, apparently picking up on Harry’s unease, says, “Not for like – anything … you know.  It’s a first date – I don’t sleep with people on the first date.”

Harry sighs, relieved.  “That’s a relief, but erm, I think it’s better if I go home.  Alone.  Say good night here, and maybe plan to see you tomorrow?  For another date?”

“A second date so soon?” Neville teases.  “Just kidding.  I love it.”

“Good.  Then, erm, tomorrow.”

Neville smiles, “Tomorrow it is.”

Since it’s his turn, Harry expects him to step into the floo right away, but he doesn’t.  Instead, he moves forward, gives him a kiss – light, but meaningful, and steps away not five seconds later.  

“Tomorrow,” Neville says before whooshing away.  

“First date go well then?” Sirius asks, popping up behind him with a knowing smile.

“I think so,” Harry says, grinning.

“Good, you deserve nothing but the best kid.”

“Thanks, Pads.  Let’s go home.”

“Home it is.”

[maintitle]

Weird long rant incoming, but this is only to be expected by you following my account.

I remember when I bought a PS5 with my stim check I had a friend that was absolutely flabberghasted that I was getting a playstation console. I tried to explain to him that I hadn't had a playstation system (with the exception of a PS3 I bought in 2011 that broke nearly immediately after the warranty ended) since the PS2, and there were a ton of exclusives I'd missed out on for years I wanted.

When I mentioned these exclusives, he looked at me like I was stupid and asked 'what games?' This flabberghasted me as I'd just explained the games I wanted to play.

The core of his argument was that Game Pass offered such a wide array of games that he couldn't imagine a few solo adventures that admittedly had similar game design could pry me away from it. To some extent he was right, Game Pass is a really fantastic service, but I've never felt that it offered me such fantastic exclusives that it would keep me with an X-Box console. I never would've gotten the X-Box One if it wasn't gifted to me second hand at a time where I hadn't really been gaming for a few years. I always wanted the PS4, because the game library looked far more interesting to me. Game Pass didn't really factor into my decision.

We debated a bit about exclusives, and the argument lead to him saying he couldn't imagine going to another console when Bethesda had settled down with Microsoft. I, very honestly, said 'I really don't give a shit about Bethesda anymore', and that ended the argument.

I liked the Elder Scrolls as a kid, and I still like the lore of it. I bought Morrowind and Oblivion on the same day, and Oblivion is very special to me. I bought Skyrim at launch at midnight, and while I didn't love it like I did Oblivion, I liked it a lot. Hell, for a very short period of time I tried to write for Beyond Skyrim because I believed/believe in that project, but real life got in the way of me ever doing much. But I never bought and rebought Skyrim like others did. I had my 360 copy, and then I played the remaster on Game Pass and never beat it. I've tried to beat Morrowind for the first time a bunch of times, so that's the game I go back to more, and inevitably put down because I'm bad at it. I love Oblivion but it's the only game I've ever 100% beat so I don't have a reason to go back.

Combine that with Fallout, a series I never really had an attachment to. I liked Fallout 3, I never got into New Vegas, I tried the originals and found they weren't for me, and I've never played more than a handful of hours of Fallout 4. The reason honestly is that I'm not hooked by the worldbuilding, I find it odd and clunky and it's just not for me. My Dad actually plays the games a lot, I gave him my copies because he enjoyed them more, but even he admits that he's extremely frustrated with these games he plays over and over again because of how riddled with bugs they are.

I haven't played Starfield. I have no interest in it. Any interest I might've had in it died on the vine with a combination of Bethesda's tanking approval, the knowledge that they were STILL using that fucking engine, and them not being interested in any of the things that would excite me about a sci-fi game.

The aforementioned conversation, by the by, happened before the release of Starfield. He was shocked I didn't really care about it. He still seems kind of shocked.

I think I just don't believe in the myth of Bethesda anymore. I don't think their games are these magical properties where you can do things no other games can offer, I never did, and that whole argument has been used to hold up a company so against any sense of change and self-reflection that it actively makes every entry they put out suffer more and more. I just can't fathom caring about a studio that seems entirely uninterested in moving on from what makes them comfortable in order to save the weight of their games from it's ever-snapping support structures. Worse, I can't understand repeatedly giving your faith to a company that lies to you about it, over and over again.

Bethesda is an anomaly to me. Everything I just said has been said a thousand times, and even the companies starkest defenders agree with these points... and yet they still are one of the most successful companies in the world. I find that fact deeply difficult to accept, and find it even more frustrating to watch the Bethesda release cycle clog along like a rollercoaster that needs to be decomissioned, yet has hundreds of fans seemingly ignoring the rotting wooden foundation excitedly climbing on to experience something that could so easily be duplicated by someone else who cares just a little more about their experience.

[starlightswitch]

Brandon's Girlfriend

(for Writer's Month day 20 prompt different first meeting. AU for my WIP Close for Comfort, if Gabriella made the opposite choice and avoided Brandon's girlfriend instead of seeking her out.)

There’s only one reason I would even think of not going to the funeral home to be there for Brandon.

The reason is that I’m sure his girlfriend is going to be there, and until now I’ve managed not to meet his girlfriend.

It’s kind of amazing, when we go to the same school. Kind of weird that he’s never introduced us. Maybe he thinks we’ve introduced ourselves, since we’re in the same lunch. It has been most of a school year since they started dating.

The reason I haven’t tried to meet her, of course, is that if I meet her I have to acknowledge that she exists.

Which sounds crazy. Of course I know she exists. If she didn’t exist, or at least if she wasn’t Brandon’s girlfriend, I would have told Brandon how I feel about him by now. I hope.

Anyway, I’m going to the funeral home. I have to be there for Brandon. If he breaks up with his girlfriend– which is getting less and less likely the longer they stay together, but it could happen– and I get to tell him how I feel, I don’t want him questioning it because I didn’t show up for him when he needed it.

I get my dad to drive me. On the way we get stuck waiting for a truck to back into a gas station. Waiting does not help my mood. Or Dad’s, when I start tapping my fingers on the windowsill.

When I walk into the funeral home, there’s a little religious ceremony going on, so I wait for that to be over. When it ends, Brandon’s family all gathers in a big group. I’m sure I shouldn’t interrupt them, but I have nothing else to do. Other people are talking. There are some people I kind of recognize from school. Do I go talk to them? I’ve only ever been to a funeral home with my parents, and we talked to the family and then left. I don’t know what to do when I can’t talk to the family.

“Hi,” says someone, and I turn, and it’s Brandon’s girlfriend. Sonya. I should think of her by her name when she’s talking to me.

Brandon’s girlfriend is talking to me.

“I’m Sonya. Brandon’s girlfriend.”

If she doesn’t know who I am… maybe I can do something with that. “I know Brandon from school,” I say, trying to decide if I can give my name or if she’ll recognize it.

“What’s your name?”

Ugh. “Gabriella.”

“Oh. Hi! Brandon’s talked about you.”

I wonder what he said about me. It would probably be suspicious to ask her.

We stand there for a minute, kind of looking in the direction of Brandon and his family. Slowly she says, “I have no idea what to talk about at a time like this.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing except talking to Brandon.”

“What do you even say?” she says, and I’m about to snap at her for a second because I think she’s saying I shouldn’t talk to him and I know that’s the wrong thing to do, but when I look at her and really think about how she said it, I realize she’s sympathizing.

She’s not trying to make me look bad. What am I thinking? She doesn’t know how I feel about Brandon. She thinks I’m just a friend.

“I guess just ‘I’m sorry for your loss’. That’s the usual thing to say.” Though I wish I could come up with something better than that for Brandon, I haven’t yet. And I probably wouldn’t tell her if I had.

“I’ve never really been to a funeral home before,” Sonya says softly. “I mean I guess for my one grandpa, but I was a baby and I don’t remember it.”

She doesn’t know anyone else whose grandparents have died? I think everybody in my grade school friend group had a grandparent die, some more than one, and I’ve been to the funeral home every time.

“It’s got to be hard with the first time being–” I am ridiculous. I can’t even manage to call Brandon her boyfriend in the context of ‘your boyfriend’s grandma’.

“It’s so strange!” she says, kind of sighing. “Everyone else is older, and if they have significant others it’s serious. One was crying one day because he didn’t get a chance to tell her he’s going to propose to his girlfriend. They all knew her before this happened. I’d never met her before she went into the hospital. I didn’t know if I should go when they all went to the hospital because they thought she was about to die. I wasn’t there when she died. I feel like I’m not sad enough–” She looks quickly at the cluster of family and cuts off.

“Well, of course you’re not sad, if you didn’t really know her. You don’t have to be sad. You can just be there for Brandon. A lot of us are just here for Brandon. Or his parents, or whoever we know. Not everyone here knew his grandma.” It seems weird, when I think about it, to be helping her, but I’m not helping her in a way that would make Brandon like her more. I’m just trying to make her feel better, because she really shouldn’t feel bad.

“That’s true.” She bites her lips. “Except I feel like as the person who’s going to everything and not really sad because I didn’t know his grandma, I should be… helping and making things run smoothly. Instead of making things awkward by like, asking if we’re supposed to open the casket and thanking the funeral director.”

“What’s wrong with thanking the funeral director?”

Sonya looks at me like that’s a weird question. “She’s doing her job? They’re paying her?”

“You can thank people who are doing their job. I thank people at restaurants all the time. I remember my mom telling me to when I was a kid. It’s polite.”

“I guess you’re right.” She gives me a fragile smile. “Thanks for being here. And thanks for talking to me, even though you’re really here for Brandon.”

And she doesn’t even know how much I’m really here for Brandon.

But I find myself thinking, to my complete surprise, that if we’d met differently maybe Sonya and I would be friends.

-

2020 day 20: Five Hours (loss)

2021 day 20: Home for a Dog (dog)

2022 day 21: Loving a Local Legend (jealous)

[nvmwc]

He gave me money yesterday to tide me over until Monday. I spent too much on my birthday to distract myself and took a week off to celebrate. My paycheck was pretty small and I ran out of money after rent . As per usual he helped without a second thought. He’s always like that ,

It’s day two since i lost my kit. I have been drowning in my thoughts since. I miss it so much, I want to do right now so madly. My skin has become adjusted. It’s ready. I didnt want to give it up.

It’s taking everything in me to not go get a new kit set up. I work right next to so many places that would sell what i need .

It’s already so wrong, I feel it would be even worse to buy something that hurts him so badly with his own money.

I understand it hurts him

But what about me. What about my hurt? He’s hurt me my dad has hurt me and my mom has hurt me and my cousin and uncle. I’ve lost so many people in the past few years. It hurt so bad. Especially my grandpa.

He raised me and i watched him take his last breath. Everyone else looked away. Not me though. I looked rightat him as he looked around with his terror written all over his face. He couldn’t breathe anymore. He was always there for me. Especially on Mother’s Day. My mom abandoned me so naturally Mother’s Day is hard for me . I told him when I was 11 how that day made me feel because i didn’t have a mom. He told me that from then on he was my mother now. And every Mother’s Day since I’ve celebrated it with him. I’m 28 now and this weekend will be my first Mother’s Day without him.

My father has yet again in my life gone off his rocker. Crack, meth, heroin and alcohol have again won. I was rooting for him he completed rehab and got into an Oxford house. I was so proud. Then one night boom he got evicted. I have been dealing with this off and on since i met him when i was 6. Ii begged i pleaded I’ve screamed and enable. But not this time. I told him during our counseling session that if he ever did this again i would never talk to him again unless he could prove he was holding a job and was sober for a year.

I have my partner but i decided based off the results of me depending on him emotionally that will never happen again.

Out of every man Ive ever loved that held me hurt me. Every single one.

Except for him. And now he’s gone. So many things have happened since then and the majority has been absolute bullshit. We got an apartment. Our relationship fell apart there for a moment. Dad relapsed again and uncle died.

I’m trying so hard to focus on the good and the positive Parts. But all i want to do is tear myself to pieces.

I want my grandpa back, i want my dad pack. I want my parents back. The three of us, grandpa dad and me. Back when my grandpa could walk and my dad was as ‘sober’ as he could get.

Every man who is not my grandpa has used abuses and cheated me. I want to go home. That’s all i want is to go home. But my home is gone now

[edgy-sim]

Dear Mom

I truly believe you hate me subconsciously and can’t help it. I believe that you can’t help but be annoyed every time I breathe. I’d like to think its a teen mom sort of situation but I’ve done nothing but listen to you my entire childhood. And you’ve abused me and broken me physically and mentally. You’ve called me fat, ugly and dumb. You’ve beaten me down till my body hurt, I begged you to stop. You’ve beaten me naked at 16, you’ve given me panic attacks, you’ve given me countless psychological issues. Eating Disorder. pessimism, nihilism, self sabotaging behaviour, my firm belief that I truly cannot be loved and don’t deserve it. I believe it, I have turned into the worst version of myself, and yet again I have no one to help me out except me. I have no one I truly love except myself. I won’t blame you for everything, some of it was my fault. But you, truly are a bad mother, you’re pathetic, not self aware, and abusive. You were never meant to be a mother and should’ve never had kids, especially not a girl. Your internalised misogyny really shows and all your “freedom” that you give is just masked laziness. No amount of food, money and “freedom” will make up for the love I never had. I feel nothing for you, you don’t feel like a mother ever since he died, you feel like a toxic bully who’s my friend and has too much authority for someone so dumb. You make me feel like an ugly ogre. I swear to god, one day I’ll have so much, I’d have just people i like around me, I won’t have you, I won’t talk to you, and it’ll all be my work, all credit would be mine, because you did nothing except make it hard, you made fun of my tears and you single handedly would be the reason I’ll spend thousands of dollars on therapy. The thousands of dollars I’ll have, all on my own, the money I spend will be my dad’s and mine. I’ll be healthy physically and mentally when I get away from you. The only thing that’s stopping me is you being a horrible fucking mother, but its okay. Just wait and watch, I’ll show you. I’ll do it all my for 9 year old self who had no one to protect her when you beat her naked and choked her till she almost died.