#expect to see blurry but gay photos Soon

[jrueships]

Me every bills game

[timefirewrites]

WIP OVERVIEW

I decided to remake my wip overview because I really needed to update a lot, so I might as well make a new one. Please comment/ask to be added/removed from any taglist. More wips under the cut! Because this was getting long and I don’t want to take up kilometers of everyone’s dash

(Last updated 04/02/21)

Gay Space Pirates

[ID: A photograph taken from outer space of the planet earth. Only a fraction of it is visible, which stretches from the bottom left to the top right corner. It’s impossible to make out the shape of the visible continent(s), but there are a lot of lights everywhere. White text in the space above it reads: “Gay Space Pirates” /end ID]

In the distant, not so good looking future for planet earth, a robot who just gained consciousness tries to escape to space - and meets a young human who wants to do the same. But it turns out that it’s going to be harder than it sounds. And they clearly have no idea what space is gonna be like and if it will live up to their imaginations. Is all this trouble even gonna be worth it? (Hint, yes it will and it’s going to be AMAZING)

Introduction

Comic Sans Powerpoint

Nano Process

Taglist: @black-lakritz-dragon @marewriteblr @spacetimewraithwrites @emmaschoutenwrites @abalonetea @hysteriwah

A Story of Gods and Heroes

[ID: A photograph of a hill, with a square building on top and some birds flying across it. Everything is tainted yellow by the sun which is rising behind said hill, there’s some lense flare in the bottom right corner. Black text in the sky reads: “A Story of Gods and Heroes” /end ID]

Aurora’s hearing a mysterious voice as long as she can remember, and she’s even quite sure it’s real. So when he asks her to go on a quest to save the  world, she happily agrees. (Well, happy might not be that accurate, it happened with more empty complains than anyone would like to hear.) Little does she know how hard this quest is going to be, and that there might be more to Voice than she wants to see.

The other main characters are Rowan, Shell, Chloe, Rusty, Guardian, Echo and Lux.

Another introduction of OGaH

Worldbuilding #1 (How the world was created)

Worldbuilding #2 (Introduction to the different beings)

Taglist: @shadows-on-everkin @marewriteblr @black-lakritz-dragon @theswordofpens @glowingmooncreations @kit-tells-a-story @crystallized-ink

Healing

[ID: A photograph of a lavender field at sunset. The sun is shining through some trees at the right side of the field, leaving some lens flare in the bottom left corner. The sky is pastel violet and then turns pastel pink and eventually orange as it connects with the horizon. Pastel yellow text across it reads: “Healing” /end ID]

Finya is supposed to go to a new school soon, which usually wouldn’t bother her all that much. But seeing as this is going to be The Best Magical Academy there is and they have no clue how to use magic, that might turn into a slight problem. But at least they’re a shapeshifter, so if everything goes terribly wrong they can just fake their death and start a new life.

Other important characters are Alessio, Elena, Nameless, Miel, Sam and Astralis.

Taglist: @shadows-on-everkin​ @marewriteblr​ @black-lakritz-dragon​ @theswordofpens​ @glowingmooncreations​ @kit-tells-a-story​

Resistentiam

[ID: A photograph of a desert, with dunes or maybe small, rocky hills in the background. They seem to be tinted red, but it’s not clear whether this is because of the type of sand/rock or because of some reddish plants growing on them. The sky goes from a dark blue - almost black - from the top right corner to an almost white color at the bottom. Blue text above it reads: “Resistentiam” /end ID]

In a world where humans and "monsters" used to live in peace, a human and a demon try their best to survive. After their hideout - an empty village somewhere in a desert - is found and destroyed they have to find a new one. On their way, they will meet more people with the same goal: surviving. Together, they eventually form a scheme to dethrone the human king who threw the whole world into chaos.

Taglist: @black-lakritz-dragon @marewriteblr​​

Ghost of You

This WIP is lightly different from the rest because I'm planning on making it a comic instead of a written story.

[ID: A photograph of a city at nighttime, there are countless skyscrapers in the background and a gianr river stretching across the rest of the picture. The sky - as well as the rest of the image - is illuminated (from left to right) in purple, blue and turquoise. Glowing text in the same turquoise in the sky reads: “Ghost of You” /end ID]

In a futuristic, cyberpunk-esque world, Acid lost their girlfriend. Which sucks. But luckily they have a plan to bring her back to live. With the help of Bug, An, Canvas and Chalk they want to perform a magical ritual to summon her ghost. But before that, they have to go on an epic roadtrip to gather everything they need and to throw off a robot(?) who attempts to stop them for unexplained reasons.

Taglist: @jaimistoryteller​​​ @black-lakritz-dragon​ @marewriteblr​​​​ @spacetimewraithwrites ​

Unspoken Magic

[ID: A photograph of a wooden shelf, with a stack of books, an old lamp and a metal jug on top of it. The room appears to be dark, the only light is coming from the lamp, which casts everything into a dim, yellow light. Yellowish-white text above the books reads: “Unspoken Magic” /end ID]

A completely normal libary intern gets to work in a not-so-normal-top-secret-high-security-department and is now forced to deal with books that are so dangerous they could cause the end of the universe. It's a good thing they're great at keeping secrets.

Taglist: @black-lakritz-dragon @marewriteblr

Beginnings

[ID: a photo of a forest during autumn, everything’s orange and sunlight comes from somewhere above the picture. White text in the upper half reads: “Beginnings” /end ID]

Magic school wip #2, I don’t know what’s going to happen yet, but we have a talking sword, (platonic) soulmates and an agender protagonist as well as pretty unique magic (as in, literally everyone’s magic is unique and it’s extremly rare for two people to have the exact same sets of powers)

Taglist: @black-lakritz-dragon​ @marewriteblr​

What Lives in the Dark

[ID: A black picture with uneven, long, grey rectangles in center. There’s a blurry silhouette seemingly walking from left to right visible in the rectangle in the middle. White texts above and below the rectangles reads: “What Lives in the Dark” /end ID]

Everybody has a shadow. But some aren’t what you would expect. Alex knows this and is - quite frankly - content with that. Their shadow has always protected them and that won’t change anytime soon. But when they hear rumors about shadows trying - and more often than not succeding - to kill the human they’re bound to, Alex can’t believe it. So they and their shadow start investigating these mysterious assaults, but can they find the cause and stop them before it’s too late?

Taglist: @black-lakritz-dragon​ @marewriteblr​

Beyond Stars and Words

​Sun never wanted to be part of this war. And luckily they aren’t. They failed most of the required tests to get accepted into the space force of the intergalactic union and are primarily send on exploring missions. So when they rescue a human from a badly damaged space ship they’re less than thrilled to have one of the supposedly most dangerous beings in the entire universe on their ship. Especially one that - quite literally - doesn’t understand them.

Taglist: @black-lakritz-dragon @marewriteblr @spacetimewraithwrites

Artificial Flowers

Set in a solarpunk future, Artificial Flowers follows the story of a robot and a teenager trying to find their place in the world.

Taglist: @black-lakritz-dragon @marewriteblr @spacetimewraithwrites

[bareillykibarfis]

mess(ed up)

[ GUYS!! Thank you so much for 200 followers!! So, as a gift to you guys, I present to you a Karman fic!! It is based on this post by @legendarilymessedup. Thank you for giving me inspiration to write something!! Hope this reaches your expectations!! ]

You can also read it on ao3: here.

-

Kartik makes sure the flag is correctly set around his neck.

He isn’t nervous. He probably should be, considering what he’s gonna do, but there’s this rush of adrenaline in him, and he feels invincible.

He is so thankful Rajni convinced him to do this. This was his Amitabh Bachhan moment, and he’d be damned if he didn’t saviour every moment of it.

He takes a deep breath. With the microphone in his hand, he steps forward, so he is in everyone’s view.

“Bhaiyon aur Behenon” He does a dramatic turn, ready to give a speech on homophobia, that was bound to leave them speechless. (He’d prepared for it the entire time they’d taken to reach here, and he was proud of it.)

As he turns around, the first thing he sees is all the family gathered in front of the tree, looking at him. He has an audience, exactly what he wan-

And then he sees it. Aman. No, not Aman. A framed photo of him. And the garland of flowers around it.

His heart drops. He looks at the scene below him, frozen. There’s the pundit, and there’s the entire family… except for Aman.

“Chalaa ja yaar.” Aman had said. But, Kartik hadn’t listened. He’d been selfish, he’d stayed. And now…

“A-Aman..”, he whispers. His eyes fill with tears, his throat tightens, and there’s this ache in his chest. Everything hurts.

Aman. Aman. Aman. Where have you gone? It’s unbearable how he feels. He’s crying and crying, and his heart feels so heavy. He drops down on his knees.

“Arey khana to khaale yaar”, Aman always pestered them before they went out for their job.

“Bas kaar na!!”, Aman had laughed that day, when they were both in their bed, and Kartik wouldn’t stop throwing the pillows at him.

“Kya baan raha hai?”, Kartik always asked, himself not helping Aman at all, letting him do all the work in the kitchen. Whatever was the answer, the food was always god-tier. “The secret ingredient is love.”, Aman would always say when asked how he cooked so good.

Who would take care of when and what he ate? Who would love him? Who would he have pillow fights with now?? Who would he call family now??

Kartik’s cries have turned into screams, and they’re horrifying, pain-filled screams. His cheeks are damp with all the tears, and yet they never seem to cease.

How will he ever live with this? It’s all his fault. All of this. He should never have insisted they come here, he should never have kissed him on the train, he should never have stayed. Aman was.. dead.. and it was because of him.

-

Down at the courtyard, the entire Tripathi family is looking at Kartik with a baffled look on their faces.

Champa is the first to realize what’s going on. She looks at Kartik, who is on his knees, and then at the base of the tree, where there’s Aman’s photo, with the flower garland around it, and suddenly it's all clear. Her heart drops for a second.

Kartik is shouting now, and there’s agony written all over his face. Champa decides she has to do something. Something before...

She shakes her head, removing any negative thoughts, and starts going towards the roof. Shankar and Chaman Tripathi, both clueless, watch as she goes past them. “Kaha ja rahi ho?”, there’s an edge to Shankar’s voice, but Champa ignores him. She starts ascending the stairs.

-

Rajni enters the gate. At the sound of the door opening, both men look towards it. Seeing Rajni enter, Chaman’s face immediately lights up with a smile.

“Rajni!! Beta tu aa gai?” he asks. But Rajni pays no heed to his question, she’s looking at Kartik, who is shouting. She’s confused. This wasn’t what they’d plann-

She looks at the courtyard and sees Aman’s photo. And the garland around it. She immediately brings up both her hands to cover her hands, her whole body numbing.

Aman wouldn’t… he couldn’t have.. Shankar and Chaman follow her gaze, and they both finally realize what is going on.

“Nahi.. Beti nahi. Esa kuch nahi hai..”, Chaman starts moving towards his daughter.

“Aghe maat aana aap.” she says, her voice breaking. “Khush hoge na aap log? Ho gayi na aapko tassalli? Tut gayi na Kartik aur Aman ki jodi!!!” She is crying now.

-

Champa reaches the roof. Kartik has stopped screaming and now looks more broken than ever. He’s whispering, “Aman. Aman. Aman.”, like it’s a prayer that will bring him back to life.

“Kartik.” she says. He doesn’t seem to hear her.

She reaches out and puts a hand on her shoulder. He flinches and turns up to look at who it is.

The look on Kartik’s face breaks Champa’s heart. His eyes are red and swollen, his cheeks are wet with all the tears, he looks heartbroken.

“Kartik. Kuch nahi huwa hai. Sab thik hai.” But he ignores her, and goes back to staring at the floor, whispering the same word, tears falling from his cheek to the ground.

Before she can explain any further, she hears Rajni shout.

-

When Sunaina and Aman get out of the room, Champa is trying to console Kartik, Rajni is crying while Shankar and Chaman are trying to explain to her that everything is fine. “

"Arey, yaha kya ho raha hai??” Sunaina asks. At the sound of her voice, Rajni turns to look towards her.

She sees Aman.

“Aman?” her voice is filled with disbelief. She runs towards him, and hugs him tightly. Aman is confused, but hugs her back. He feels her teardrops on his shoulders. He breaks the his, looks at her and asks, “Kya huwa? Sab thik toh hai?”

As she looks at Aman, she’s reminded of Kartik.

Oh God. Kartik.

“KARTIK!!” she shouts, turning towards the roof.

Champa looks towards them. Rajni points to Kartik, so as to ask her to make him turn around.

-

Kartik feels his entire world crumbling. He feels numb. He has nothing left to live for. His heart is still aching, and he feels so powerless.

“Beta. Dekho toh sahi.” Champa chachi is saying, but he ignores her.

“KARTIK!! KARTIK!!” Rajni’s voice reaches his ears. He turns his head to look towards the direction of the voice.

His vision is blurry from all the tears. But he sees that Rajni is pointing towards someone… Aman?

He wipes his eyes to make sure he isn’t hallucinating. He really hopes he isn’t. He can’t afford to have his heart broken again.

He looks again. Aman. Is. Still. There. Aman. He’s alive.

The feeling he feels in his heart is unreal. This, he realizes, is true happiness. He slowly stands up, his legs shaking. Champa holds his arm, giving him support. He shakily comes down the stairs, looking at Aman the entire time, not blinking even once, afraid he’ll disappear.

Aman has a tired look on his face. He’s wearing glasses, and a shirt which Kartik knows wasn’t Aman’s choice. He looks fed up, like he’s gonna let the world win. Like, he’s ready to give up.

“Aman.” he says just this one word.

“Woh ab Aman nahi hai. Hum usko naya naam de rahe hai. Mar gaya hai Aman.” Shankar Tripathi says, in an icy voice.

Kartik feels anger boiling within him. “Aur kitna karoge aap??” he snas. He points towards Aman. “Dekha hai aapne bete ho?? Halat kya ho gaayi hai?? Khush lag raha hai kya vo?? Kya paaoge ye kar kar??”

“Hum jo bhi kar rahe hai, soch samaj ke kar rahe hai. Tum bich me na aao, warna bhari padega tum pe.” Shankar says, glaring at his own son.

“Arey yaha par ho kya raha hai?? Kya kar rage ho aap log??” Kartik says, exasperated, laying his hands in front of him. “Bete ki aadhi zindagi nahi kati hai aur aap log antim sanskaar karne chale??”

“Hah. Hum Aman ki antim sanskaar kar rahe the. Uska naya janam hone wala tha. Ab yaha se chale jao, warna Aman ke saath tumhara bhi karna na pade.” Shankar Tripathi says, his voice curt and blunt, but mostly angry.

“Yaar..” Kartik puts a hand on his forehead, exasperated. “Laga tha aap log to samjhoge.” he turns around and starts walking away.

Kartik. Is. Walking. Away.

Aman feels helpless. He feels like he should do something, anything. He even opens his mouth to say something, but his mother digs her nails in his arm, so as to say, “No”. He looks at her. She isn’t looking at him, she’s looking at his father, who is glaring at him. He closes his mouth.

What is he to do now? Have they lost this battle?? His heart is breaking. Will they ever see each other again? Where is Kartik?? Is he leaving already, without a single goodbye?

“Chalo suru karte hain.” Shankar Tripathi says in a smug, satisfied voice.

They’re all just going to go to the mandap, when Rajni laughs. “Tauji, aapka problem yaha nahi waha hai.” She points towards the roof.

Aman looks. And there’s his boyfriend. Kartik. Shirtless. The pride flag around his neck. (How had missed all these details before??). A microphone in his hand.

“Bhaiyon aur behenon.” he starts, and Aman feels his heart clench with happiness.

The speech he gives is just iconic. And the look on Shankar Tripathi’s face is quite the sight to see. When Kartik shouts, “Homophobia!!! Homophobia!!! Homophobia!!”, each time doing a different pose, Aman feels his face break into a huge smile. He is so so so proud of Kartik.

Aman’s happiness spell is broken when he hears his father say in a voice filled with anger, “Beta.. Tu wahi ruk.”. Shankar Tripathi then proceeds to go inside the house.

Aman now, free from his father’s angry glared, runs up the stairs to the roof. As soon as Kartik sees him, he practically engulfs him with a hug.

“Tu thik hai.” Kartik says, and Aman feels teardrops on his shoulder.

“Main thik hi to hoon. Mujhe kya hona tha??” he is confused. “Arey, tu ro kyun raha hai?”

Kartik breaks the hug, and Aman sees his eyes are red.

“Yaar.. Tu.. Tu.. Tu maar gaya socha tha maine.” Kartik is crying again.

“Par… kyun..” Aman’s voice trails off as he turns his head towards the courtyard, where he sees the sight below him.

“Oh God.. Kartik” Aman turns towards his boyfriend, whose face is red from all the crying. He cups his face. “I’m alright. I’m right here, okay?” He wipes the tears. “Ab isse pehele ki papa aa jaye, nikalja yaha se.”

Kartik wipes his eyes. “Arey mein kaha jaunga? Kyun kahi jaunga? Aaj to ye solve karke rahunga.”

“Nahi yaar papa tujh ko-” Aman begins, but Kartik cuts him off.

“Bas papa ko shoot karne se rokle. Mere last wishes ke list hai yaar. Sun-” Before Kartik can finish, he sees Shankar Tripathi coming out of the house, holding something in his hand.

IS THAT A GUN??!! Please don’t let it be a gun, I’m not ready to die. God, no, you know I have so much left to do. Please don’t let him kill me.

Aman is pulled back by Champa chachi. Kartik is left all alone.

Shankar Tripathi isn’t carrying a gun (Kartik is so thankful). Instead, he’s carrying a stick, a huge one at that. He has this look of revenge in his eyes... 

Suddenly Kartik is once again a helpless 9 year old, he’s back in his room at Punjab.

“Papa, nahi-”

His father hadn’t even let him complete his sentence. “Ladkon ke saath ghumta reheta hai? Haan??? Sharam nahi aati tujhe?” He’d been hit with the belt once, and then again, and then again. It’d hurt, and he’d cried, but his father had been ruthless, determined to beat the homosexuality out of him.

“Agar firse maine tujhe uss ladke, ya kisi bhi ladke ke saath paya na, toh tujhe kaat ke rakh dunga.” His father’s eyes had been red with anger, and he’s been so scared that day.

Shankar Tripathi’s eyes remind him of his father’s eyes. He gets an uneasy feeling on his stomach. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea…

Before he can complete the thought, his eyes meet Aman’s. And he just knows. It’s either him or Aman. The latter one is obviously never going to be an option. So, he straightens his back. Yes, he’s gonna take this. For Aman. He has to. For love, for the-

The first blow lands on his back, and every single thought flies out of his mind. The pain is excruciating. Before he can compose himself, Shankar Tripathi hits him in his shoulders with another blow.

Kartik can hear Aman shouting something, but his ears are ringing and his body is hurting everywhere and he cannot make out a single word. He can hear Chaman chacha shout out, and he can hear the little gasps from Sunaina’s mouth. But he can’t fathom any of it, because Shankar Tripathi just won’t stop hitting him-

Kartik realizes he isn’t hitting him anymore. He freezes, waiting for the next blow. But it never comes. He slowly straightens his back. He looks towards Shankar Tripathi, who is standing with a pained look on his face, his hand on his back. The stick is on the ground now.

This is your chance, Kartik. You can leave if you want to.

He looks at Aman. The look on his face stops him. There’s a look of helplessness in his face, and it breaks Kartik to see him that way. He’s not gonna run away, because running away means leaving Aman alone, and he cannot have his lover’s heart broken.

So, he picks the stick from the ground, and gives it to Shankar Tripathi, who is too shocked to say a single word. Kartik looks at Aman, and nods.

The beating resumes. Kartik doesn’t even have the time to register his pain from one hit when Shankar Tripathi is on him with another.

He can feel himself getting weaker. He doesn’t know how long he can stand up.

Suddenly, he sees Aman. Coming towards him.

Aman. Aman. Aman. I love you so much.

Aman is coming towards him, and his arms are opening, preparing for a warm hug. But, Aman runs past him, up the stairs. He doesn’t even look back once. Kartik is dumbfounded.

-

His father is beating Kartik. And he’s helpless.

Aman is shouting, and trying to get to them, but Chaman is holding him back. He’s fighting, but he’s too weak. He has to do something. Anything.

Suddenly, he sees his father drop the stick; he’s too tired. He looks at Kartik, who looks just about ready to break.

Kartik. Chala ja. Yeh tera mauka hai.

Kartik even looks like he’s contemplating leaving the courtyard. But then, their eyes meet, and Aman knows. Kartik will never leave him alone.

He cannot let this go on anymore. He loves Kartik, so he really hopes he understands. He takes a deep breath.

He runs towards Kartik. Kartik looks so happy, his arms open. Aman ignores him, and runs straight upstairs towards his room. He doesn’t turn back becuase he knows what he will see will break his heart.

He enters the room, and locks the door. He now knows what he has to do.

-

Kartik stares at Aman’s room in shock. He just.. really went in like that??

For a moment, Kartik is baffled. But then, he realizes. He is trying to get all of this to stop. It only makes sense, Shankar wa-

Before he can complete his thought, Shankar Tripathi is back in his business. It’s even more unbearable now.

Just as Kartik feels like he’s gonna pass out, he hears the sound of the stick dropping, and Shankar Tripathi sighing in defeat. He looks up to see his tired face. He looks around and the entire Tripathi family looks shocked.

He spots a tap at the far side. He staggers towards it, and opens it. He then ducks under the tap so the water falls on his head.

The cold water jolts his body back to life. His steps still faltering, he stands up, facing towards the Tripathi family.

“My sexuality,” he points to himself. “is my sexuality. None of your sexuality.” Immediately after this, he feels his body give away, and he falls, losing consciousness.

[stoopsbookstore]

Fansite

Synopsis- After months of being fanboys, Hyunjin and his friends arennew fansites for the girl group, Hue, and after several misadventures, the group is starting to recognize them, Hyunjin in particular, as the most memorable fanboys they've met.

"None of these photos came out right, they're all blurry," Jaemin slammed his laptop shut in anger, "how am I supposed to be the best Cerise fansite out there if I can't even catch her in moment? Look! Her hair looks amazing, but her face is all blurry because Lil-"

A pillow hit the boy in the face as Hyunjin looked up from his laptop, "Don't blame Lilac! It's not my fault your camera is 4 years old and there's dust inside of it."

"At least he didn't drop our gift to them. Starbucks aren't cheap, that order had to be like 30 dollars," Gai pointed out to the group, fixing the TV signal, "I'll never forget the look on Bai's face when that black coffee with 2 sugar packets fell the group."

"To be fair, it was only 20 dollars because Cerise isn't supposed to have caffeine since she was in the hospital back in February and the doctor told her to cool it."

"Stop being such a fanboy," Hyunjin swatted Jaemin's hair as he collected the pillow from the floor.

Hyunjin, Jaemin, Gai and Jongho were having a monthly meeting for their favorite girl group, Hue, and this is their first meeting as official fansites of the girls. Gai's bias was Emerald, Jaemin's was Cerise, Jongho couldn't decide between Cierra or Bai and Hyunjin immediately fell for Lilac, as known as Y/N. The boys sat around the tv as Hue's interview started.

"Color the sky! Hi, we are Hue!" The girls cheeted in unison, each dressed in their respective color.

"We are so proud of our Shades. Because of you all, we have our first win for 'Borealis,' and we couldn't be anymore thankful," Cierra, the group's leader, dressed in a black tanktop, black shorts and fishnets with boots, spoke.

"We also have another announcement!" Cerise, the main dancer dressed in a short pink plaid skirt and a matching t-shirt, pointed to the camera.

"Yes, we do, Cerise!" Emerald, the main rapper clad in a green outfit similar to Cierra, continued the prepared speech, "we're inviting several fansites to an exclusive fanmeet!"

"That we are!" Bai, the maknae in a white, off the shoulder dress spoke, "Lilac is going to announce the 40 fansites who are coming to this special event happening in 2 days at Thalian Hall."

As soon as the girl in the purple v-neck t-shirt with matching high-waisted shorts and garter belts came on the screen, Hyunjin was mesmerized. A chorus of birds spinning around his head as he imagined his life with Lilac.

"Oh, Lilac! I love you so much!"

"Hyunie! We're getting married! Please call me Y/N!"

"Oh Y/N, my bride! My princess!"

He broke out of his daydream as Jongho started shaking him.

"We're going to the event! This time as official people! We're going to get passes and get to see them up close!" Jongho yelled in Hyunjin's face.

"We can make up for all those fanmeets where Hyunjin destroyed a set piece!" Gai cheered, running to clean his camera.

"Or accidentally hit a bodyguard!" Jaemin kissed the TV screen when Cerise showed up, disgusting Jongho as he patted Hyunjin on the back, "or all the times we tried to give them little gifts, only for Hyunjin to get them taken or ruin them."

"Bro! This is our chance! We actually get to talk to the girls for a little bit and even hold their hands! We finally get to have photos that we can edit! We can make our own gifs!" Jongho cheered, jumping up and down on the sofa.

Hyunjin sat stunned, he has an opportunity to make up for his slip-ups. He still doesn't forgive himself for accidentally spilling a unicorn frappuccino for Y/N down a bodyguard's back.

'Hopefully she has forgotten about that incident'

"Ok, guys," Hyunjin opened his laptop on the table, hyping the group up, "if we're going to impress the girls, we should practice!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Color the sky! Hi, we wre Hue!" The girl group announced their presence as the small 40-person audience cheered.

"We are so proud of you Shade, that we had to do something special," Cyan spoke in the microphone, a small amount of feedback fading in and out.

"I already see a few familiar faces out there," Emerald waved her lightstick in the air, "Emmy's World, who has been to every event since pre-debut! A legendary Shade, if I do say so myself."

The crowd laughed as the sound of shutters and the bright flashes went off, capturing the girls in every moment. Hyunjin watched as the crowd had different techniques to get the girls' attention. Emmy's World had a sign above their camera that said "Emerald, over here!" Another fansite called Light Cream for Bai had a polar bear plushie taped to the top of their camera and Jaemin was dressed head to toe in hot pink for Cerise, becoming the fansite Neon Flamingo.

Hyunjin felt like he was disassociating, this isn't his real life, it's just a dream and he's going to wake up soon, Gai is going to freak out because he found a cute picture of Emerald that actually allowed editing, Jaemin will be attempting to DM Cerise and Jongho will be making a pros-cons list of having a double bias.

Hyunjin heard his fansite name, Field of Lilacs, through the speaker. He walked to the front of the crowd, shooting photos of Y/N as she posed in a purple mid-thigh skater skirt, her off-white lilac-hued button up tucked into the skirt.

"Hey," Y/N pointed at Hyunjin, "you're the coffee guy, right?!"

Hyunjin wished to shrink in on himself as he felt everyone's eyes on him, some burning holes into his head. Hyunjin kept his head down, looking at the pictures he took, ashamed of the fact he's known as the coffee guy. He wanted to run away, but he continued to take photos.

A wave of guilt came over Y/N. Maybe she shouldn't have brought that up, she just wanted to make the cute guy with the light blue shirt knew he was actually one of the fans the girls knew and talked about all the time.

'Does he feel bad about the coffee? It was just an accident...'

Y/N whispered to Emerald, no one could tell for Y/N had hid her mouth by her hand. After Emerald had talked to one of their managers, Y/N kept her eye on Hyunjin, who felt awkward the rest of the event.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Guys! Holy shit, we have so many good photos! Look at Cyan!" Gai flipped through his camera roll as Jaemin and Jongho were looking at each other's photos.

Hyunjin sat on a bench outside the event hallway, kicking his feet as he played with the camera strap. The other three boys were running around like chickens with their heads cut off when Hyunjin was approached by a tall man.

"Ms. Y/N is asking for you," the bodyguard towered over Hyunjin, the intimidation factor causing Hyunjin to go wide-eyed, "Nothing bad. She just wishes to talk to you privately."

Hyunjin took a glimpse at his friends, who were still comparing photos and talking about their favorite moments, "Uuhh, yea, sure."

The pair walked down the hallway, heading towards a double door which led to the Hue tour bus and the five members standing outside the bus, making sure they have all their luggage.

"Thanks Davey," Y/N dismissed the bodyguard as he patted Hyunjin's back, the boy lurching forward, Y/N's hands catching his shoulders and helping him avoid falling.

"Umm, sorry," Hyunjin kept curled up in himself.

"No, oh my God, I should be sayimg sorry to you. I didn't realize you were embarrassed by the whole coffee situation," Y/N apologized, feeling genuinely awful about the situation, "I know some of the fansites were plotting your demise by the way they were staring at you."

Hyunjin sported a small smile, "honestly, it's okay. I just wasn't expecting it from my ultimate bias."

"Oh?!" Y/N dramatically put her hand over her heart, "little old me?! Your ultimate bias? I think Neon Flamingo may be my favorite fansite."

Hyunjin and Y/N started laughing, the awkwardness fading as they continued to stand around each other. They shared glances at each other until Y/N reached into her bag, pulling out a piece of paper and a purple pen.

"Here. It's my personal profile," Y/N handed Hyunjin a piece of paper, hiding it under Bai's camera, "be careful, if it gets out, Davey is going to blame you and he knows your face very well."

"I can buy him a coffee if it would make him feel better," Hyunjin adjusted the bag on his shoulder, easing his fidgetiness.

Y/N and Hyunjin stood in comfortable silence as the three other boys started shouting for their missing friend.

"I should probably go as well, we have rehearsals tonight," Y/N softly smiled at Hyunjin, "it was really nice actually getting to talk to Mr. Disaster."

Hyunjin chuckled at the nickname, realizing he's still holding Bai's camera, "if you don't mind, may I get one photo?"

"I don't think Bai would mind," Y/N took the camera, putting her hand on Hyunjin's waist as she extended her arm out.

The camera flashed and she kissed Hyunjin's cheek, the photo printing out as she handed it to Hyunjin. Hue's manager started yelling for all the girls to get in the bus, Y/N running and waving back at Hyunjin.

"I'll see you later," Y/N shouted as the door to the bus closed, leaving Hyunjin with the photo of the pairing.

Putting the small photo in his phonecase, Hyunjin unlocked his phone, opening an app and adding Y/N. After a short bit, his phone pinged with a notification he never thought he would see.

"LilacLovesHue has added you!"

[hlupdate]

Boy band heartthrob-turned-rocker Harry Styles hasn't released new music or toured in more than a year now -- but that doesn't mean he hasn't been busy.

In fact, the "Sign of the Times" crooner has stayed plenty active. Since releasing his self-titled debut in May 2017, Styles starred in his first feature film with Dunkirk, embarked on a world tour, co-chaired the Met Gala and even modeled for Gucci.

And with the news that he will grace the cover of Rolling Stone next month, it can only be expected that new music is on the way from the One Direction singer. So before the world is swept up in a new era of Styles, catch yourself up on what he's been up to below.

Since going solo, Styles has...

Released a documentary

Just a week after his debut album Harry Styles dropped, Harry Styles: Behind the Album was released via Apple Music. The documentary-style film chronicles the making of the record with behind-the-scenes footage and interviews.

Guest-starred on The Late Late Show With James Corden three times

Styles' first Late Late Show appearance after his album release was in May 2017, accompanied by a charming episode of Carpool Karaoke.

Styles returned on Dec. 13 of that year to guest-host the show while Corden's wife gave birth, manning the stage like a pro with a witty monologue.

Most recently, Styles joined Corden for a dodgeball game in London this June, teaming up with Corden, John Bradley, Benedict Cumberbatch and Reggie Watts for a must-see competition (and plenty of cute moments from Styles).

Appeared in Dunkirk

In what was an unexpected career move, Styles appeared as a soldier in Christopher Nolan's war epic Dunkirk in July 2017. Though his role was minor, Styles' performance packed enough of a punch to impress.

Performed on BBC Radio 1's Live Lounge

In September 2017, Styles stopped by BBC Radio 1's Live Lounge to perform two covers: "The Chain" by Fleetwood Mac and DJ Khaled's "Wild Thoughts." Putting his own spin on each, Styles once again proved his raw talent.

Embarked on a world tour

Beginning in San Francisco on Sept. 19, 2017, and ending in Los Angeles on July 14, 2018, Harry Styles: Live On Tour took the star throughout North America, Europe, Asia, Australia and South America for 89 total shows. The tour was sold-out and had Kacey Musgraves, Warpaint and Leon Bridges as opening acts.

Proved himself a true philanthropist

Though Styles has always been vocal about his beliefs, he's really stepped it up as a solo act. In October 2017, he performed at CBS Radio's We Can Survive concert for breast cancer awareness at the Hollywood Bowl and sold tees and hoodies throughout his tour sporting the phrase "Treat People With Kindness" in order to advocate for LGBTQ rights. In total, Styles' tour raised more than $1.2 million for various charities, helped attendees register to vote and engaged in a water conservation effort. In addition, Harry Styles: Live On Tour was named on sexual harassment prevention charity Time's Up's 2018 donor list.

Had his own special on the BBC

The hour-long special Harry Styles at the BBC aired on Nov. 2, 2017, including a live performance from Styles and interview with BBC Radio 1 DJ Nick Grimshaw.

Won two iHeartRadio Music Awards

On March 3, 2018, Styles won two iHeartRadio Music Awards: best music video for "Sign of the Times" and best cover song for his performance of "Still the One" by Shania Twain with Kacey Musgraves.

Co-wrote a song

Styles has a writing credit on Bleachers' "Alfie's Song (Not So Typical Love Song)," which appeared on the soundtrack for the 2018 film Love, Simon. However, this was not Styles' first time writing a song for someone else: He has also co-written songs for Ariana Grande and Michael Bublé.

Modeled for Gucci

The singer has become a mainstay for Gucci, appearing in three of their campaigns thus far -- two for Gucci Tailoring and most recently for Gucci's newest perfume, Mémoire d'une Odeur. The promotional videos for each are almost too much to handle.

Executive-produced a TV show

One of the least-known facts about Styles: He was actually an executive producer on the CBS sitcom Happy Together, which was loosely based on his own life. Sadly, the show was canceled in May after just one season.

Interviewed Timothée Chalamet

Ah, the interview that almost broke the internet. On Nov. 1, 2018, a match made in heaven became a reality when Harry Styles chatted with fellow dreamboat Timothée Chalamet for i-D. Touching on everything from masculinity to that peach scene in Call Me by Your Name, it's a thrilling read to say the least.

Won Gay Times' Honour for LGBTQ Advocate

As a result of his "Treat People With Kindness" campaign and The Rainbow Project that his fans carried out at his MSG show, Gay Times gave Styles their Honour for LGBTQ Advocate Award on Nov. 8, 2018. "Styles uses his platform to make sure his LGBTQ fans feel accepted and noticed, which was most superbly displayed earlier this year with The Rainbow Project," Gay Times' announcement article said.

Gone to a lot of concerts

Seriously, it's almost too many. On Nov. 30, 2018, Styles made an appearance at Bring Me the Horizon's London show, even posing for this cute selfie with lead singer Oli Sykes.

On Dec. 13, 2018, Styles was spotted supporting friend Stevie Nicks at Fleetwood Mac's concert in Los Angeles. Enjoy this blurry video of him singing along to "Go Your Own Way."

Only three days later, Styles went to Paul McCartney's show in London, even pausing to take a few pics with fans.

The next time Styles was seen out at a concert was to catch Van Morrison at The Wiltern in Los Angeles on Feb. 5. The two hung out backstage and snapped this adorable pic, which also sparks the realization that Styles has worn that gray cap to every concert thus far...

Next up on Styles' concert schedule was an LA show from King Princess, whom Styles reportedly asked to open for him at Madison Square Garden. Though she declined, it's great to see that Styles is still supportive.

Styles also saw K-pop group BlackPink on April 17 in Los Angeles, adding fuel to the fire that he was dating BlackPink member Jennie.

Styles caught a Fleetwood Mac show on June 18, but this time in London, where Nicks actually dedicated her performance of "Landslide" to him.

One Direction stans everywhere freaked out when both Styles and Niall Horan went to the Eagles concert in London on June 23. Though the photos are almost too blurry to tell, just the thought of the two enjoying a night out together had Directioners speculating at a 1D reunion.

The most recent Styles concert outing was Ariana Grande's London show on Aug. 17, where he hung out with Stranger Things star Millie Bobby Brown, getting the Internet very excited.

Partied it up in Japan

Styles has spent a good amount of time in Tokyo this year, even meeting up with some of the Queer Eye guys for karaoke. Here's him and Bobby Berk singing "Bohemian Rhapsody" for your viewing pleasure.

Become besties with Stevie Nicks and inducted her into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

Styles and Nicks have sparked up quite a friendship since his album dropped, performing several times together including at the 2019 Gucci Cruise. The two are so close that Styles inducted Nicks into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this March, making a sweet speech and joining her to sing "Stop Draggin' My Heart Around."

Co-chaired the Met Gala

In a look that truly broke the Internet, Styles stunned at the 2019 Met Gala on May 6 as a co-chair. Dressed in a gender-blurring Gucci getup, Styles proved himself a fashion icon.

In an interview at the event with Liza Koshy, Styles said that the theme of camp is about "enjoyment, non-judgment and having fun with clothes."

Almost had two huge movie roles

This summer, Styles was in the running to play Elvis in Baz Luhrmann's upcoming biopic and even "in talks" with Disney to be Prince Eric in the upcoming Little Mermaid live-action remake. Despite initial conflicting reports about Prince Eric, Styles will not be playing either role.

Worked on new music (and music videos)

Styles has been spotted on set for a music video (or maybe two?) in both Scotland and Mexico this August -- which can only mean that new music must be coming soon. Check out these behind-the-scenes snaps.

Graces the cover of Rolling Stone's next issue

And finally, in another telltale hint that new music is to come, Styles was revealed as the cover star for Rolling Stone's September issue on Aug. 19. The sizzling-hot shirtless cover came with reports from Us Weekly that his next album would be coming late this summer or early fall. One can only hope!

[sgtcalhouns]

College AU, Ch. 20

i’m not gonna lie, this update is not a good time for felix. there’s plenty of hurt feelings to go around here, but i promise things will start to look up for the poor guy soon. enjoy!

Felix stormed into the office of the school newspaper with several papers in hand. The moment he burst through the door, his eyes zeroed in on the person who was about to be on the receiving end of his wrath: Turner Thatcher. Turner sat behind a desk in a small office that was separated from the rest of the workspace, looking as though he had been awaiting Felix’s arrival. Felix stomped into the room, letting the door slam shut behind him. 

“Well, it took you long enough,” said Turner.

“What did you do?!” Felix demanded, ignoring Turner’s greeting.

“Why, what ever do you mean?” Turner asked with a cheeky smile.

Felix flung his papers down on the desk, where they landed with a loud “thump.” Looking at the items before him, Turner saw that he had brought the copy of the newspaper with the incriminating photo, his love letter to Tamora, and the note that had been slipped under his door. 

“I know you’re behind this somehow,” Felix said. “I don’t know how, but you got your hands on this note that I wrote for Tamora and gave it to Mary.”

“Those are some pretty heavy accusations,” Turner replied.

“Mary was really hurt by this, Turner,” Felix said. “She thought I wanted to get back together. And then Tamora, she saw Mary leaving my apartment and assumed the worst.”

“It’s pretty incredible how quickly you managed to upset both of them,” Turner chuckled. “You probably beat some sort of record.”

“Look, whatever grudge you’re holding, it’s between you and me, not them,” Felix said. “Leave them out of this.”

“Now, why would I do that when they make it so much easier to get you riled up like this?” Turner asked, looking entirely too satisfied with himself. “I’ve got to say, I like seeing you this way. The take-charge attitude is a good look for you.”

Felix took a deep breath in an attempt to tamp down some of his anger.

“Look, I didn’t come here to fight with you,” he said. “I just wanted to let you know that your attempt to blackmail me isn’t going to work. As soon as I leave here, I’m going to Dr. Persi to tell him everything about my relationship with Tamora.”

“If such a relationship even exists anymore,” Turner chimed in.

“Go ahead and publish that paper; I don’t care,” Felix continued. “You don’t have any power over me anymore.”

“Oh, you think this is still about the paper?” Turner said with a devilish grin. “It looks like you misinterpreted my note.”

He opened a drawer in the desk and pulled out a photograph. 

“I’ve got something much better than that blurry old picture,” Turner said, placing the photo on the desk so Felix could see it. He gasped in horror at the image: Turner had somehow captured a picture of the moment Mary had kissed him. 

“How... How did you—?” Felix swallowed hard. “Are you going to put that in the paper?”

“Oh, please, my publishers would never approve this,” Turner said. “Besides, printing a newspaper takes time and I’ve never been one for delayed gratification.”

“So, what are you going to do with that?” Felix asked, his anger returning in full force.

“I haven’t decided yet,” Turner said with a shrug. “It would be easy to email it to the inbox of every student on campus. It would be just as quick to post it on one of the social media accounts for the paper. Or all of them.”

“Why are you doing this?” Felix growled. He slammed his hands down onto the desk, standing with hunched shoulders over Turner. “Why can’t you just let it go and move on with your life?”

“I wanted you to know how it feels,” Turner responded. “Mary, too. Tamora was just a bonus.”

“How what feels?” Felix asked.

“To want someone you can’t have, someone you shouldn’t have,” Turner answered. 

“Is this really still about me and Mary? Turner, that was years ago,” Felix said.

“And you still care more about her feelings than you ever cared about mine,” Turner replied, his voice rising in volume.

“What are you talking about?”

“You never wanted to date her! You knew she liked you and you were so concerned about hurting her feelings that you went out with her anyway,” Turner said as though it should have been obvious. “You two dated for nearly a year even though you never felt a thing for her, and I knew you would have never done the same for me.”

“...What are you saying?” Felix asked hesitantly.

“Oh, don’t act oblivious,” Turner said, growing irritated with Felix’s supposed innocence. “I made it more than obvious how I felt about you.”

“Turner, I’m sorry, but I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Felix replied, his confusion evident on his face.

“I was in love with you, alright?” Turner shouted, standing from his seat with his face barely an inch from Felix’s.

“What?” Felix asked quietly, Turner’s confession knocking the breath out of him.

“I loved you, and I couldn’t stand to watch you with Mary knowing it was all an act,” Turner said, coming down from his anger, although he was still panting for breath. He took a step back. “You just seemed stuck in that relationship, not knowing how to end it. I know it was stupid, but I thought that maybe if I got you out of it, you would see...”

He trailed off, taking on an uncharacteristic expression of shame and embarrassment.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Felix asked. “I would have—”

“Would have what, Felix?” Turner snapped. “Turned gay for me? Pretended for my sake? It would have been exactly the same as it was with Mary, and I knew that, but there was this small, stupid part of my brain that couldn’t let go of the hope that maybe you could love me back.”

“Did you really expect that I would fall in love with you after finding out that you intentionally ruined my relationships so you could have your shot with me?” Felix asked in utter disbelief of the logic behind Turner’s plan. “I don’t know what kind of sick, twisted idea of love you have in your head, but that is not love.”

“I know it didn’t make any sense,” Turner tried to explain. “I was so blinded by my feelings for you, and so hurt from feeling rejected, that I couldn’t think straight.”

“Look, Turner, I’m really sorry that I hurt you,” Felix said. “But that is not an excuse to go around hurting others on purpose.”

“I’m sorry,” Turner said, his voice smaller than Felix had ever heard it. “Do you think there’s any chance that you could ever forgive me?”

“I... I don’t know, Turner,” Felix said, his bottom lip quivering and his eyes growing damp. “I’m having a hard time with the fact that you being in love with me caused you to do something so harmful and selfish. And the fact that you felt like you couldn’t talk to me about any of this, I just...”

“I tried, so many times,” Turner said, tears beginning to form in his own eyes. “I was scared of what would happen if I told you. I thought I might lose you as a friend. And then that happened anyway.”

“I can’t say for certain what I would have done if you had told me about your feelings back then,” Felix said, his voice thick. “But I can guarantee you that things between us would not be what they are right now.”

There was a brief moment of silence as the pair paused to gather their thoughts. Felix felt somewhat dizzy, his head reeling from this news, and he was finding it more and more difficult to look at Turner with each passing second. Suddenly, he felt a desperate need to leave, to go and find Tamora and fix the mess he had helped to create.

“...So, what do we do now?” Turner asked, timidly breaking the silence.

“Well, what I’m going to do is go explain all this to Tamora and hope she can forgive me,” Felix said. “Because I love her and I did something that hurt her and I can’t go another minute without telling her how I feel.”

“So that’s it, then,” Turner said. “After all that, you’re just going to leave?”

“I’m not sure what else I’m supposed to do, Turner,” Felix replied. “I... I think it’s best if we give each other some space for a while.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“And I understand if you’re upset by all this, but I’m going to ask that you don’t come near Mary or Tamora,” Felix said, his tone firm. “If you’re still angry, you can take it up with me. But I won’t let you hurt them again.”

“Felix, please—”

“Goodbye, Turner.”

At that, he grabbed the note he had written for Tamora and left, closing the door behind him. Turner finally gave in to the tears that he had been fighting to keep at bay, slumping back down in his chair. For a moment, he considered accepting this outcome and doing his best to move on from it; maybe he could finally find a healthier way to handle all these negative emotions. Yes, he almost took the high road.

Instead, he wiped his face on his sleeve and pulled out his cell phone, taking a picture of the photo of Felix and Mary that was still on his desk. It took only a few seconds for him to draft a message and hit “Send.” He finally began to feel like himself again as he received the confirmation that his message had been delivered—not to the whole school, but to the one person he knew would be the most deeply affected by receiving it. As he swept the papers that Felix had left behind into the trash, Turner chuckled to himself.

He had never been one for taking the high road.

[sapphicscholar]

For @4alarmfirecracker – I hope your day gets a little better!

Prompt: Kinda like Mr and ms Smith AU. Maggie and Alex work for enemy companies and their ordered to kill one another. But of course they can't do that because they take time to spy on each other, maggie even finds that alex has a sister and that she tries to go on dates with guys but it never works out (maggie is gay and she know she's gay, alex doesn't know that she is gay yet but she totally is into maggie) alex on her side doesn't find much about maggie because maggie outside of work doesn't have many people. Anyway at a certain moment they can meet (I'll give you the total liberty on that ^^) I just want at least a kiss, an "alex puts back maggies hair behind her ear (she truly has beautiful hair)" and a happy ending !!!

A/N: Okay, so, there's angst for sure. And some talk of violence. Also the backstory I used to try to keep them in character got pretty dark and a little dystopian...BUT I promise a happy ending! So....there's that?? (I've also not seen Mr. and Mrs. Smith, so try not to go into it with that as your expectation...). If it's not clear, I'm not 100% certain that I did the prompt justice, but here's to hoping and to going outside of typical writing genres! Anyhow, if you're looking for straight-up spies instead of assassins, I wrapped up Undercover(s) last week, so you can check that out here!

Chapter Text:

“Newest orders from on high.” A manila folder skidded across the desk to where Maggie sat, a half-eaten sandwich on a plate in front of her.

“What happened to ‘just one more’?” Maggie yelled at the man’s retreating form.

“If it makes you feel any better, sweetheart, then by all means, it’s just one more.” He laughed loudly on his way out the door.

Flipping open the folder, Maggie found a woman’s name, “Alexandra Danvers,” along with a photo and an address. The woman was gorgeous—not that Maggie should notice such things, not when her survival depended on killing that gorgeous woman. She found herself wondering what it was this one had done to get on the boss’ shortlist. The answer came soon enough in the form of three capital letters scrawled in black Sharpie across the back of the photo: DEO. Well, at the very least, she wouldn’t have to feel quite so guilty about this one as she did about some of the others.

Every last one of the ordered hits ate away at her, kept her up at night until the burn of whiskey was enough to dull her nerves and knock her out for a few hours. But some were worse than others: the family members of targets she’d been told to hold for ransom; the young woman who had never known what she was getting into when she started dating the son of one of the fight club managers; the strung out kid who couldn’t have been more than twenty and already bore a life sentence for having stolen less than a hundred buck’s worth of drugs from one of their shipments. The robberies and deliveries and jobs whose end purpose she never asked about—they were easier to bear, the kinds of things she expected.

Of course, her first few years had been nothing like this. When Roulette’s men had come to Darla’s place and found a human shacked up with her, they’d offered Maggie a job too—no real definition of what this “job” was, but anything to make money seemed like a good. She and Darla had made do, working illegally for the manager grungy bar down the street where they were paid under the table at half the wage of the others, scrounging for food and loose change in the shopping mall downtown, and, when it became necessary, stealing the necessities—a loaf of bread, a bit of cheese, some peanut butter here and there. It wasn’t glamorous, but it beat the hell out of life she’d had after her parents kicked her to the curb at 14 years old, and over the years, she and Darla had found…well, it wasn’t love, but it was something like care. So when someone came for Darla, it seemed only right that she go too.

And god, the pay was good. They gave her a bike, which later turned into a motorcycle once she’d “proven her worth,” and sent her around town doing deliveries. They didn’t tell her what was in the packages, and she never asked. For a few years, that was all. She and Darla got a new place in one of Roulette’s buildings. It meant they were on call 24/7, but it seemed worth it for the nicer apartment.

Over the years, it became clear that Maggie was a bit of an anomaly as one of the only humans there. Slowly but surely, her responsibilities were differentiated from Darla’s and the other aliens she had gotten to know. Her pay was better, and the jobs given to her came from the higher ups. They started pulling her into trainings—martial arts and target practice. Later came more advanced weaponry—things designed to kill and nothing else. The kind of jobs she did, though, they were still similar to the ones she did before. Sure, she went to nicer buildings, and sometimes she was asked to carry weapons, but she never had to use them.

But then things changed. A series of riots organized by a group that called itself the DEO sparked outrage against the alien population of National City. Maggie noticed more and more of them pouring in to Roulette’s buildings by the day. They were forced to share rooms, while Maggie was moved into a new building.

The first time she was given an assignment to kill, she was told it was to protect Darla—they said someone from the DEO was coming for her, would kill her if they didn’t strike first. So she did. The next time, it was someone coming for M’gann. She shot with deadly precision. After that, they stopped giving her reasons. She learned only later that some of her targets had been aliens themselves.

Things in the city slowly and gradually improved; President Marsdin took office, and things began to thaw between people and aliens around the country. There were even rumblings about an alien amnesty act to come. But Hank Henshaw still ran National City’s DEO—a fact that Roulette and her men constantly repeated, reminding their alien employees that they were still better here than anywhere else. The emergence of Cadmus scared the ones who had dared to leave right back into Roulette’s arms. Even working for little pay or fighting most nights for wealthy patrons seemed better than the fear Roulette cultivated in them of the Henshaws and Luthors of the world. A hard life was still better than no life.

With too many arrest warrants out to count and a rap sheet a mile long, Maggie had nowhere else to go, and she justified her actions to herself each night by spending time with Darla and M’gann and all the others she liked to think she protected, even if it meant becoming a killer herself.

---

Alex cringed at the sight of Hank Henshaw striding across the room toward her. “Your next target, Agent Danvers.”

“Yes, sir.” There was no point in disagreeing. She’d known what she was getting into when she volunteered, had known there would be no coming back from the things she’d be forced to do here. But it was worth it to protect her family—or what was left of it. Apparently taking a father from her and returning nothing more than an empty coffin hadn’t been enough for the DEO. They’d come back, demanding Kara or another scientist as tribute. Already struggling her way through graduate school, nearly crushed under the weight of her mother’s disappointment, Alex flew home and offered herself as the DEO’s newest recruit. Her life might not have much value left, but, dammit, it was enough to spare her mother and her sister.

Peering down at the file, she found a young woman’s mugshot staring up at her—Margaret Sawyer.

“She’s human.” Even with the bags under her eyes and what looked like a long scratch running down her cheek with flecks of dried blood, she looked young. Even pretty.

“And?”

“We capture aliens.” Well, she captured aliens—for the most part, when it was a viable option; other people killed no matter what the circumstances were.

“And she works with aliens.” Hank’s frustration was increasingly obvious. Alex may have grown into an obedient soldier, but he suspected if her family were no longer around, she’d have tried to escape from the DEO ages ago.

“But she’s still human.”

“She’s a human out to kill you.” Why the knowledge that she worked with aliens wasn’t enough, Hank would never understand. Surely Danvers had seen enough of the devastation aliens wrought to know that consorting with aliens—especially the band of criminals this woman associated with—was justification enough.

Alex gritted her teeth. She’d known something was coming after she spearheaded the mission to capture two of Roulette’s prized fighters. The fact that her agents had killed a few of the other aliens and one of Roulette’s men along the way had done nothing to improve Alex’s odds of avoiding retaliation, though she’d hoped that the fortress that was the DEO might protect her. Apparently not. It was kill or be killed, and when being killed meant leaving her family at risk once more, Alex knew exactly what she would do.

---

As rain slowly flooded the roof around her with puddles, Maggie huddled deeper into her black raincoat and kept her binoculars trained on the window of the address she’d been given for Alexandra Danvers. Over the past few days of devoted investigation, she’d seen little of the woman. One night she’d finally wandered in around 10pm, had a few glasses of something, and finally crashed around midnight. The next few nights had been much of the same. Tonight, for the first time, she was with someone else.

As Maggie waited for the person to turn around so she could see a face, she adjusted the focus, trying to get a better view of the woman’s face. The rain helped nothing, but her view was less blurry, at the very least.

Finally the other person—a man—took off his coat and moved further into the apartment with Alexandra—no, the target, Maggie reminded herself. The distance was important. They sat on the couch, and Maggie watched him inch closer and closer, finally throwing his arm up and around the woman. She seemed to tense, and Maggie couldn’t help but feel a burst of indignation before she remembered that the woman killed aliens, hunted them like prey and dragged the few who survived back to labs for what she could only imagine were cruel experiments.

----

Alex forced a smile before seeing Jeff to the door. He claimed one last kiss before leaving, squeezing her hand and promising to call her tomorrow to schedule their next date. He was the third date in what felt like as many days that Kara had set her up on, and she figured giving one the chance for a second date might get Kara off her back. She knew her sister meant well, knew the dates and the sister nights and the constant check-ins were the product not only of Kara’s good heart but the guilt she still bore for letting Alex go off to the DEO.

But for now she had work to do in tracking down her target. Getting anywhere near Roulette’s apartment buildings, which had turned into something more like a compound than a courtyard, was out of the question, which had left Alex spending her evenings after work circling the area for hours—always to no avail. But today at work, she’d finally gotten her first break in the form of traffic camera footage that allowed her to follow Margaret Sawyer all the way from the apartments to a coffee shop downtown. She’d zipped across town and hunkered down in an alley across the street, waiting as the woman who was out to kill her held hands with some blonde and sipped coffee, cracking jokes as though she weren’t in the middle of plotting a murder.

She’d followed the cameras across town to the blonde’s apartment, and planned to go back under the cloak of darkness to figure out if there were any ways to get off a clean shot from outside the building.

She hadn’t expected for the lights to still be on in the apartment after her date, for the two women to be pressed up against the large bay windows and clawing at one another, for her heart to hammer in her chest the way it did. Clearing her throat, she decided it was a clean enough shot and booked it back to her apartment to get herself enough scotch to forget the image and fall asleep.

She went back to the apartment every night for the next two weeks. Not once was the woman there a second time.

---

Tapping her foot impatiently, Maggie checked her watch and waited for the woman to get back to her apartment. While she would never advocate for treating an investigation into an assassination target as entertainment, she couldn’t help but find the woman’s life intriguing. There had been a string of men, but most had been turned away with a small kiss at the door never to return again. And each date had been followed by an extra glass or two of what Maggie had, after finally purchasing much nicer binoculars, been able to determine was scotch. Tonight was the third date with the one who had seemed least offensive. He brought flowers, and they left for a couple of hours. When they came back, Maggie watched what she would later think of as the worst sex she’d ever have the displeasure of participating in—even if it was only as a voyeur.

At that point, Maggie decided she really didn’t need to see certain things twice and resolved to make her move, finding a way to intercept the woman on her way to work. Which is how she found herself merging into traffic two lanes over from Alex’s SUV, a knife tucked into her boot, and a gun hidden under her coat, hoping that the woman would stop somewhere—maybe for coffee—where Maggie would be able to casually run into her. From that point on, it was just a question of getting her alone, and that had never been much of a problem.

---

Alex cursed as the light switched from yellow to red before she could accelerate through the intersection. She looked around her, gasping when she noticed the very woman out to kill her perched on the motorcycle whose plates she’d been tracking for weeks now, only one lane of traffic between them. She shook her head when the first thought to cross her mind had nothing to do with how best to kill her and everything to do with how very good she looked on the bike. Ignoring the flush of heat that swept through her body, Alex merged over one lane once she got her green light, now driving side-by-side with her would-be-assassin and target. The roads still weren’t particularly crowded. She wondered if she could veer over, claim the woman had been in her blind spot….but no, there were still plenty of witnesses who would see.

Remembering that Margaret needed to kill her too, she figured she may as well make herself visible in the hopes of getting the woman to follow her, so she turned up the radio and cracked the windows, pretending not to notice when the woman’s eyes flashed over to her. Singing along loudly with “The Great Escape,” Alex slowed down slightly and merged over into the woman’s lane, sliding in right behind her. After a few more blocks, she turned off into the parking lot of some small café, watching as the other woman made a sharp turn, receiving several loud honks and screamed obscenities as she followed Alex into the lot, parking several spots over.

“Nice bike,” Alex observed, feeling for the gun in her waistband.

“You ride?” Maggie tucked her helmet under her arm as she fell in step with her target, keeping just enough distance between them to have room to draw.

“Not much these days.”

“Ah, well, maybe one day I’ll have to take you out on a ride…”

Alex laughed and ignored the swooping sensation in her stomach at the wink she got. “Maybe one day.” In hell, she added in her head. Quite the way to kill someone.

Maggie tilted her head to the side, not having expected the pink flush on the woman’s cheeks. Then again, her dates with men seemed to have been going terribly, so maybe women were her thing. But no, she chastised herself, this wasn’t about getting a date; it was about getting a hit. Just because the woman didn’t exude evilness like some cartoon villain didn’t mean she didn’t go off to her lab and commit atrocities every day. “Maybe if I start with buying you a coffee, it’ll help?”

“Why not,” Alex shrugged. Unbidden, the image of Margaret and her date stripping each other of clothes and finally throwing one another into the bed flashed through her thoughts. Which was utterly ridiculous. Because she was only saying yes to get her alone long enough to shoot her without witnesses. Obviously.

“I’m Maggie, by the way.”

Alex reached out and shook her hand, adjusting the way she’d thought about the woman. Admittedly, Maggie seemed to fit her better than Margaret.

“Alex. Nice to meet you.”

Maggie smiled back at her.

While they waited in line, they chatted—both of them lying, both fully aware that they weren’t getting any true answers. They spoke about jobs they’d never hold and families they didn’t have, all the while sizing each other up and both concluding, “If it comes down to it, I can take her.”

As they neared the front of the line, Maggie let herself brush up against Alex just slightly and grinned as she heard a sharp intake of breath. “So, uh, I know I haven’t technically gotten you coffee yet, but what do you say to dinner this weekend? I’ve got some new recipes that I’d love to try.”

Pretending to consider it, Alex waited a few moments. “I don’t know…we don’t really know each other yet.” Mainly, she didn’t even know where in the damn compound the woman lived, and it seemed like a really terrible place to go to commit murder and escape unscathed.

“Give me your number, then. Let me prove to you that it’s worth the risk.” She flashed a toothy smile that she just knew brought out her dimples.

Nothing was worth that risk, Alex thought. “Alright, give me your phone.”

After a moment’s panicked hesitation, Maggie finally handed it over, watching the woman like a hawk to make sure she wasn’t installing any kind of tracker on it. Instead, Alex—no, the target—just put in her number and sent herself a text. Maggie almost pitied her. Sure, she worked for evil people and probably did evil things, but she had no idea she was texting herself from the phone of the woman who would kill her.

“Excuse me,” the barista called out, rolling her eyes when the two women finally turned around. “I get that first dates are exciting, but we’ve got a line.”

“Oh that’s not,” Alex stammered.

“Not yet—it’s really more of a pre-date,” Maggie clarified, ignoring Alex’s flustered looks. She quickly placed her order and then let Alex order before swiping her card. “I told you I’d buy you a coffee, so let me.”

“Um, alright. Well, you know, this means maybe I should cook dinner for you instead.” The fact that she couldn’t cook would never need to be an issue, so long as she killed the woman before the main course.

The barista shook her head at their flirtation; subtle they were not.

---

Over the next couple of days, they texted almost constantly, and even though Alex rarely told the truth about what she was doing, she found the truth about her mood or the general gist of her feelings seeping into her texts. And she couldn’t help but notice that Maggie always knew just what to say—whether it was the promise to come kick the asses of any one of Alex’s bosses who didn’t see her worth or a barrage of gifs that had her smiling even at the lowest of times.

And Alex realized that she was learning small things about Maggie despite herself—never the kinds of things that would help her with an assassination, though. Instead of having any idea of how to get into Maggie’s building unseen, she now knew that Maggie was a vegetarian who didn’t drink milk—hence the preferred soy chai tea latte order. Instead of learning what times Maggie was alone outside of that goddam complex, she found out what shows Maggie liked to watch in her spare time and the songs she absolutely required on a road trip playlist.

Inadvertently, she found herself even admitting one or two true details about herself—the fact that her dad died several long years ago, the fact that she had a sister who came over to watch Game of Thrones and ate more pizza than anyone she knew.

---

Even though there was no chance of possibly intercepting Alex tonight, unless she waited for the sister to leave, Maggie found herself sitting cross-legged on the roof’s edge of the building across the way simply watching Alex through her binoculars as she tidied the apartment for her weekly sister night. She could feel herself growing attached and continually reminded herself of all the horrible things the DEO did to her friends. One less person like that in the world was a good thing, she repeated like a mantra that she just couldn’t quite believe.

Eventually the sister arrived—all blonde and bubbly and everything Alex was not—carrying with her several large pizza boxes, though Alex provided the wine and ice cream. Watching the two of them sit side-by-side, Alex’s arm draped protectively across her sister’s shoulders, she felt a pang for everything she lost when her family forced her out of her home. She hated knowing that she’d be responsible for wiping the smile off of the sister’s face—possibly forever. She took a few minutes to compose herself, pulling the binoculars away and counting out her breathing until she felt steady once more.

Once the episode ended and the last of the ice cream was finished, the blonde woman pulled her sister into a tight hug. When she turned around, though, Maggie could swear she saw what looked like bickering. Focusing in on Alex’s face, she saw that her expression had grown tense, lines of worry and stress and age hardening her features. Finally, after an exasperated shrug from Alex, the sister jumped out the window—no, that couldn’t be it. But no, there she was, floating in midair and swooping up into the cloud cover and away into the night. And oh god, she was an alien. The sister was an alien. Did that make Alex an alien? And oh, Maggie paused, did that make Alex one of the good guys? Why work for an organization designed to kill your sister?

She barely slept that night, consumed with feelings of guilt that weren’t helped at all by the harsh reminder one of Roulette’s men delivered about how soon she needed to act.

She found herself agreeing to dinner at Alex’s place the day after next, fighting back the wave of guilt and nausea and self-loathing when she sent a cheery text back to the woman whose life she was about to end.

---

With her weapons all hidden in places designed for easy access and a store-bought meal in the oven, disguised as homemade, Alex wiped her hands on her jeans. She hated how nervous she was, how consumed by guilt she felt over the thought of killing the woman who was ready to do the same to her. She’d thrown on a Kevlar vest under a chunky cable-knit sweater just in case, though she didn’t really want it to come down to that. It was simple—just get the first shot in, and be done with it. Clean up. Destroy the evidence on Maggie’s phone. And go about her days as though she hadn’t taken the life of a human who hadn’t yet done anything wrong—at least to her knowledge.

---

Clutching flowers in her hands and ignoring the cold metal of the gun in her waistband, Maggie knocked on Alex’s apartment door.

“Hey,” Alex greeted her, throwing the door open wide.

Maggie hated how trusting the gesture was. She swept in and looked around and made polite conversation like she’d never seen the place, as though she hadn’t spent the past month staring through the windows and watching Alex cook for herself and drink alone and cuddle up next to her sister and have terrible dates and even worse sex. “Oh, these are for you!” She held out the flowers and smiled despite herself at how charmed Alex looked by the simple gesture.

“Thanks, let me just find water for them,” Alex muttered, making her way into the kitchen without turning her back on Maggie. She quickly threw out the flowers she’d gotten from Jeff and replaced them with Maggie’s, which were, truth be told, much closer to her style than the gaudy pink and purple and white bouquet Jeff had brought her.

Over appetizers and wine, the conversation flowed easily. Maggie asked about her week, remembering the deadlines and stressful meetings Alex had mentioned in passing and making a point of asking how they had gone. Alex, in turn, asked whether Maggie had gotten around to catching up on American Horror Story, volunteering to watch with her that night since she knew it sometimes freaked her out if she watched alone late at night. She flinched as her hand brushed against the gun strapped to the underside of the table at her place. She wondered whether it would be so bad to put it off for one more day…

As they sat talking, Maggie reached a hand out and let their fingers tangle together. Alex swore she could feel her heartbeat in every inch of her body at the press of soft, warm skin against hers. And god, she wasn’t the kind of person who felt like this, certainly not with women, but she found herself looking deep into dark brown eyes and noticing flecks of gold and wondering how they might look fluttering shut if she leaned over and… No! No, the woman was going to kill her, and it certainly wasn’t the time to be swept away in some silly fantasy.

---

When Alex went to the kitchen to bring out the main course, Maggie couldn’t bring herself to draw the gun from her waistband. Surely it could wait for dessert. She wished there were some way she could find out how Alex had come to work for the DEO. Maybe she was a mole, some plant meant to take it down from the inside. If that were the case, Roulette would have to understand sparing her, right? She doubted it, even as she let herself hope.

While Alex scooped two generous servings of a very professional looking lasagna onto their plates, Maggie joined her in the kitchen and refilled their glasses from an open bottle of wine. She swirled it in her cup and inhaled deeply. “This is a nice merlot, Danvers,” she mused, shooting her an impressed look as she brought it up to her lips to test it.

“No!” Alex yelled, lunging at her and smacking the glass out of her hands. The glass shattered and red liquid spattered against the wall and floor—a bit heavy-handed on the foreshadowing, Maggie thought grimly. “It’s, uh…bad luck! I’m the host, you know? I need to, uh, make a toast first.” Alex didn’t mention that it was also in poor form to serve guests wine laced with enough alien tranquilizers to knock them out for hours if not kill them.

As Alex bent over to pick up the largest glass shards, Maggie found her gaze drawn to her ass, but before she could even enjoy the view, a glint of metal and a slight bulge drew her attention. She had her own gun drawn and the safety clicked off before Alex could even stand up.

“Don’t even think about it,” Maggie growled.

Alex’s eyes widened in fear for a second, but then she launched the handful of glass at Maggie and lunged behind the wall while Maggie was left closing her eyes and shielding her face as best she could from the onslaught. By the time she had opened her eyes again, she found Alex pointing what looked like an actual bazooka at her.

“Put the gun down, Sawyer. You’re not winning this fight.”

“The bigger gun doesn’t equal the better shot,” Maggie bluffed, knowing full well it’d be fairly impossible to miss at such a close range.

“Keep telling yourself that,” Alex growled, backing Maggie across the kitchen and into the counter.

“You greet all your gests with the best weapons you have to offer?” Maggie asked, trying to buy herself a bit of time to figure out an escape route.

“Only the ones trying to kill me.”

“Wait…you knew?” The secret was out in the open at this point, so there was really no reason to act like it wasn’t true. Really, there was no coming back from pointing guns in each other’s faces and acting like it was all some silly misunderstanding—a comedy of errors, really.

“Of course I knew,” Alex huffed. “Why else would I be ready to kill you at a moment’s notice?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Pretending to ponder it, Maggie tilted her head slightly. “Maybe because you work for a murderous, xenophobic organization that kills aliens for sport?”

“Oh right, because Roulette’s so much better with her underground fight clubs where she lets them kill each other instead of doing the dirty work herself.”

“I—look, I’m not Roulette. You’re actually one of them.” Alex just glared at her. She was, and she hated herself for it. “You’re not gonna tell me it’s all for the good of the city?”

“It’s not.”

“What?”

“What we do isn’t good. Maybe it could’ve been…I hear in some cities the DEO is a force for good.”

“Is this about your sister?” Maggie didn’t realize she could make the situation worse, but with the way Alex’s gun was suddenly touching her chest, she suspected she just had.

“What about my sister? Think really fucking carefully before you answer.”

“Why would you work killing aliens when your sister is one? And you clearly love her,” Maggie stammered. “I’m not trying to out her! I—most of my friends are aliens. My ex-girlfriends too. I just…it didn’t make any sense.”

“So? Maybe she is.”

“Then why work for Hank Henshaw?”

“Better me than her,” Alex answered as though it were the simplest thing in the world. And for her, it was. She would have given her life a hundred times over to spare Kara’s.

“You didn’t join by choice?” Maggie asked it like was a question, but deep down she already knew the answer. It wasn’t just attraction skewing her judgment; Alex really wasn’t like the other DEO agents she’d met and taken out over the years. Because she didn’t choose to be one of them.

“No.” The one syllable spoke volumes, carrying with it years of regret and pain and hatred that seemed to flash in vivid color on Alex’s features for just a moment before they were schooled back into a mask of cold indifference.

And Maggie knew it might be stupid—probably was—but at that, she lowered her gun and set it on the counter behind her.

“What are you doing?”

“I was ordered to kill someone who worked for the DEO, the kind of person who delighted in hunting and torturing and killing my friends—aliens, people who are different. And had you been, I would have killed you already.”

Alex lowered her weapon a fraction of an inch. “Why?”

“This—Roulette and her men and the shit they do—I didn’t sign up for this life either. And I know what that feels like. But I do it to keep fighting for the lives of my friends, the people I care about…my family. I won’t kill you for doing the same.”

Alex slowly dropped her weapon, putting it all the way down only after sweeping Maggie’s gun to the side. “I didn’t really want to kill you,” she admitted.

“That’s comforting.” And they couldn’t help but laugh. And they laughed and laughed until the corners of their eyes prickled with tears because how else could they possibly respond in this situation?

But when Alex looked up, she found she was a lot closer. And this time, she didn’t feel the same weight of guilt laying heavy in her stomach when she noticed those flecks of gold sparkling in Maggie’s eyes. And this time she didn’t flinch back from Maggie’s touch. No, this time she brought her own hand up and tucked a lock of hair behind Maggie’s ear, letting herself notice just how soft it was and how right it felt and how beautiful Maggie looked, and then she lost herself in the feeling of Maggie’s soft lips against her own and fantasies of running away together, leaving behind the burdens and responsibilities of National City for some island getaway—just them and some guns and as many alien friends and family members as they could smuggle out with them and cartons of that gross vegan ice cream she remembered Maggie mentioning in a text once. And when Maggie’s soft hand came up to cup her jaw, Alex let herself believe that their happily ever after was just around the corner.

[mirceakitsune]

Artificial Intelligence: The baddest hoax in modern history

Over the years I've dealt with a good amount of crazy. I've seen more shit in nearly 3 decades than I imagined I could in 10 lifetimes, as far as sheer human madness is concerned. In the last few years it has rapidly gotten worse, and recently it seems to have reached new unprecedented heights.

In this episode, it's my displeasure to present to you the sentient computer... A.K.A. machine learning, A.K.A. artificial intelligence. No folks we aren't talking about a physical electronic brain... which may actually be possible one day, once scientists figure out how to reconstruct all neurons in the human brain and map them to a circuit of quantum bits. We're talking classic binary code running on your average 64 bit processor (C++ / Java / Whatever) which is supposedly capable of sentient processes... most notably recognizing the meanings and circumstances of objects in photos, up to facial recognition within complex images. Said functionality is supposedly achieved, I fucking kid you not, by training your computer like an animal or a human baby. This delusion seems to be embraced not only by ordinary people, but even programmers who are expected to know the matter at hand, and horrifyingly by government officials who believe this bullshit will give them some magical powers like in the movies. A few cases of this fairytale include, but are tragically not limited to:

Facebook supposedly recognizes who you are and automatically tags you whenever you upload a photo. Obviously this isn't because FB has money to throw at an army of moderators who stalk people in realtime to tag their shit, and because that's controversial and stupid they're hiding it behind an AI story, that would be crazy... it's the midget trapped in the body of a computer doing it!

The human-computer chimera may soon be "hired" by the airport, where it would scan the faces of travelers as they walk through the gate. Dozens of them... in a few seconds... in the same image.

British police are teaching an AI what child porn looks like. You can be sure it's not because they're looking for an excuse to play around with that material, hehe... it's just so the little man in the Windows system tray can learn how to "detect abused kids". Unfortunately for them the program is doing a bad job at singling out them kiddo butts, because it's confusing them with photos of sand dunes in the desert. But not to worry: The police is sure that the dead God is on their side, and their program will one day spot those sexy children without error! Hmmm... I wonder if mister computer man can develop a pedophilia fetish...

An old news article suggested an AI which, hold on to your horses everyone, was capable of detecting gay faces. Yep: If it sees any picture of you, it's able to tell whether you are homosexual or not.

Another AI can supposedly analyze the way you walk, determining if you have criminal intent based on how a camera sees you moving down the street. You better not be dancing back there dawg, the computer people will think you're gettin' ready to mug some homeboy!

An elaborate hoax known as Facerig has done an impressive job at convincing people that a program is capable of understanding not just your face, but your facial expressions... without even needing some super high-resolution video, just a shitty blurry webcam. Their hoaxed demos even show animated 3D characters imitating the facial expressions of someone in a camera... which I assume is either edited manually into the video, or the character is controlled in realtime by someone watching your face on camera (horrifying to think it might be without some users even knowing it).

At least a few of those articles managed to convince me that I couldn't possibly be a member of the human race, even if I look human when I see myself in the mirror (otherkin aspects aside). Nope; There's just no way I'm part of the same species as those creatures: My brain wouldn't be capable of coming up with this bullshit even as I'm dreaming at night, I must have been designed by aliens using a properly debugged brain structure! Jesus fucking Christ on a flying carpet... what in the ever loving fuck?

Now there are multiple reasons why this whole thing has become infuriating for me: One is the fact that whenever I try shedding a ray of reasoning on this trainwreck, I'm immediately attacked by virtually everyone who refuses to accept this is realm of fantasy. At the same time I worry about what is actually going on, seeing that a lot of effort and money were put into this hoax so it's obviously happening for a reason (likely a smoke screen for extreme mass surveillance plans). Further more it makes an unique mockery out of both biological life and programming alike, via the demented insinuation that a CPU is capable of emulating sentience which is a requirement for any content recognition of this degree. There was once a time when I was fascinated with the idea of AI and machine learning, and was planning to learn more about it and possibly play around with such code... today I'm disgusted to even hear about the subject, after those fuckers disfigured and diseased it too with their madness and refusal to understand basic logical limitations.

Because common sense doesn't seem to be obvious to everyone, I'm going to clarify why this is impossible, by explaining the impassible obstacles a computer would have to overcome in order to do something as unthinkably complex as facial recognition. For the proposed functionality, a mindless piece of code would have to do the following things, all on its own using only pixels of different colors from an image:

First of all it must determine what in the photo is a face, from numerous objects and complex structures that each represent all sorts of things. This is barely doable itself but okay.

Next it must work around the face being shot from any possible angle. The head may be rotated in any position relative to the camera, resulting in a radically different structure being visible in the image.

The person's face may be partly covered. Perhaps there's an obstacle between the face and the camera, like a structure or another person. Maybe they're wearing a scarf or glasses, which they weren't in other images. Maybe their hair is brushed differently and they have an emo haircut covering half of the face. Maybe they're wearing lipstick and the color of their lips is different.

People have different facial expressions in each photo. In one you may be smiling, in one you may be frowning... in one your mouth might be open, in the other it's closed. Faces are always shaped differently.

The lighting conditions are guaranteed to not be identical, both brightness and colors differ. Maybe it's day maybe it's night, maybe the environmental light is reddish maybe the atmosphere is blue, maybe different cameras that shot you used different color adjustment filters.

The average camera (even good ones) is still much more blurry than anything we see with the naked eye. Motion blur is also involved if either you or the camera are moving, if the environment is dark it gets worse. Noise is further introduced by a bit of jpeg compression, as no sane camera wrecks your drive space by saving in lossless png.

Many people still upload low resolution pictures of themselves on the internet. When your picture is 1024 x 768 and you're standing at a distance, there is nearly no usable detail to even attempt to work with on a PC.

Suppose it miraculously managed to single out a face throughout all those obstacles: It needs to measure something and use it as an identifying trait! What, how, why? The apparent distance between your eyes in pixels? How wide your mouth appears to be? How bulgy is your forehead? It doesn't even know what those things represent, not to mention anything can look like a head or eyes or a mouth!

Even if by total defiance of all logic, there was something that could be mathematically measured and the program did manage to calculate it on its own: The computer would also need to compare the data to what is probably trillions of photos in the database! Not only do people look similar so there would be millions of false positives, but doing so many pixel comparisons would require 100 times more memory and processing power than all computers on the planet combined today have!

Are you fucking kidding me? Someone is actually trying to tell me that in actual real life, a shitty piece of x64 code would be capable of doing ALL THAT? What the fuck are people smoking these days? No, really... just go take a walk in the park or meditate on the top off a cliff, then ask yourself the question: "How could I possibly be led to believe this crap"? It's 1000 times easier to board a space shuttle and go to Mars TOMORROW, compared to achieving something that gets even close to this. Even if Jesus himself was still alive and had his superpowers to heal the blind and spawn fish from a basket, even if Moses could make the waters split with his mighty staff... not even they could create something like this, even if they called God himself for reinforcements. If you open your bedroom window and leap right through it, you can be more confident that you'll fly like Peter Pan compared to this shit happening. THIS - IS - NOT - POSSIBLE!

And before people tell me "but the CIA has had facial recognition for decades": Yes they do and that's a totally different matter. Criminologists use one or two photos per suspect (frontal and side shot) which are taken in carefully controlled conditions: It's always from the same angle and distance, the suspect is told not to smile or open their mouth, the lighting is the same, etc. There are also only a few million photos of criminals in the database, rather than trillions of pictures from billions of people... if you have a 10 GHz processor you may be able to do a pixel-to-pixel comparison of one photo against all others in less than a day.

I'm sorry, but some harsh shit had needed to be said about this: Every time this pops up on EFF or other rights groups, I find myself compelled to speak out against a big fat lie seeing how everyone else refuses to. There is seriously no excuse for allowing fairytales and mass hysteria to spread all over the media, without one voice of reasoning exposing this obvious lunacy for many months! Also fuck humanity hard for ruining what could have been a beautiful domain of research if it was kept rational and serious and not turned into a distorted fantasy... especially since I'm a programmer, do not expect me to forgive this mockery, as they've put yet another cherry on the cake the way only this disgusting species is capable of doing.

[toldnews-blog]

New Post has been published on https://toldnews.com/united-states-of-america/start-here-whitaker-mueller-measles-what-you-need-to-know-to-start-your-day/

'Start Here': Whitaker, Mueller, measles. What you need to know to start your day.

It’s Wednesday, Jan. 30, 2019. Let’s start here.

Interested in Start Here Morning Briefing ?

Add Start Here Morning Briefing as an interest to stay up to date on the latest Start Here Morning Briefing news, video, and analysis from ABC News.

1. Barr confirmation vote delayed

The Senate Judiciary Committee’s vote on attorney general nominee William Barr has been delayed a week as Democrats seek more answers on how he’d handle special counsel Robert Mueller’s report on Russia.

“They’re laser-focused right now on the report,” ABC News’ Devin Dwyer tells us. “What will come out? Can the public see all of it? They want to make sure that the next attorney general commits to that.”

Lawmakers on both sides of the aisle also have questioned comments made by acting Attorney General Matthew Whitaker, who said this week the Russia probe is “close to being completed” and that he hoped a report would be produced “as soon as possible.”

“I don’t know why he knows that,” Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-S.C., told reporters on Tuesday. “Mueller will be allowed to finish his job. That’s the goal, that’s going to happen. I don’t know how you say that in light of the grand jury being extended six months.”

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi also shared concerns, adding, “I think Mr. Mueller should speak for himself.”

2. Intel chiefs contradict Trump

Top U.S. intelligence officials were on Capitol Hill on Tuesday to present an assessment of global threats to the nation, and much of what they said contradicted the president.

On North Korea, Director of National Intelligence Dan Coats told the Senate Intelligence Committee the country is “unlikely to completely give up its nuclear weapons,” and CIA Director Gina Haspel said the North “is committed to developing a long-range armed missile that would pose a direct threat to the United States.”

Trump has said North Korea is “no longer a nuclear threat,” and he’s expected to attend a second summit with Kim Jong Un next month.

The officials’ “Worldwide Threat Assessment” also included warnings on Russia’s attempts to influence elections and the continuing threat of ISIS.

“I think right now,” ABC News Chief Global Affairs Correspondent Martha Raddatz tells us, “you’ve got Donald Trump saying a lot of things and the intelligence community and others acting on them in a different way.”

Jose Luis Magana/AP

CIA Director Gina Haspel speaks with Director of National Intelligence Daniel Coats during a hearing before the Senate Intelligence Committee on Capitol Hill in Washington, Jan. 29, 2019.

3. ‘Empire’ star attacked in possible hate crime

Authorities in Chicago are investigating a possible hate crime after “Empire” actor Jussie Smollett was attacked early Tuesday.

Police said Smollett was out getting food when he was approached by “two unknown offenders” who allegedly covered their faces and were “yelling out racial and homophobic slurs.”

The openly gay actor was then beat up, according to police, and an “unknown chemical” was poured on him. At some point during the incident, the two men “wrapped a rope around [his] neck,” officials said.

As investigators search for evidence and video related to the incident, ABC News’ Steve Osunsami tells us law enforcement officials are looking into a threatening letter targeting Smollett that was delivered about a week and a half ago.

Chuck Hodes/FOX

Jussie Smollett in the “A Rose By Any Other Name” episode of “Empire.”

4. Aloha, measles

Yesterday, the number of confirmed measles cases in Clark County, Washington, grew to at least 36, and officials said two people in Hawaii now have the disease after contracting it in the Pacific Northwest.

ABC News Chief National correspondent Matt Gutman says low vaccination rates may be to blame.

Other news:

‘He killed five people. So this is a monster.’ A 21-year-old man confesses to killing his parents, his girlfriend and two of her family members.

‘The man immediately turned, punched that woman in the face’: The Los Angeles Police Department releases video of a man punching two women near a hot dog cart on a crowded sidewalk.

‘Out of control’ A Utah man files a $3.1 million lawsuit against Gwyneth Paltrow in which he accuses the actress, in 2016, of a hit-and-run skiing accident, “knocking him out, and causing a brain injury, four broken ribs and other serious injuries.”

From our partners at FiveThirtyEight:

How Anthony Davis would fit on the Lakers, Celtics, Nets, Sixers and Knicks: We learned Monday that superstar big man Anthony Davis wants out of New Orleans, which all but means that the Pelicans have to deal him before he leaves for nothing.

Republicans in early primary states face a choice: Protect Trump or their place in line: Those officials have to decide whether to hold — or not hold — primaries and caucuses in 2020.

Last ‘Nightline’:

Fyre Festival investigation sparks conversation about power of influencers: In the world of social media influencers, the line between what’s fact and what’s advertisement can be blurry.

Play

Fyre Festival investigation sparks conversation about power of influencers

Ted Bundy movie faces backlash for allegedly glamorizing serial killer: Critics are up in arms that a man who confessed to brutally murdering 30 people is being played in a Netflix biopic by Hollywood heartthrob Zac Efron.

Play

Ted Bundy movie faces backlash for allegedly glamorizing serial killer

On this day in history:

Jan. 30, 2002 — In his State of the Union, President George W. Bush calls Iran, Iraq and North Korea the “axis of evil.”

Play

This day in history: Jan. 30, 2002

The must-see photo:

Snow falls as a man inspects an overturned pickup truck in a field on Blue Rock Road in Manor Township, Pennsylvania. (photo credit: Blaine Shahan/LNP/LancasterOnline/AP)

Blaine Shahan/LNP/LancasterOnline/AP

Snow falls as a man inspects an overturned pickup truck in a field on Blue Rock Road in Manor Township, Pa., Jan. 29, 2019.

For more great photos from around the world CLICK HERE.

Socially acceptable:

It was so cold in Chicago, crews had to set fire to commuter rail tracks to keep the trains moving.

Play

Rail crews set fire to train tracks amid deep freeze

All right, you’re off and running. Get the latest news on ABCNews.com and on the ABC News app. Details on how to subscribe to the “Start Here” podcast are below.

See you tomorrow.

“Start Here” is the flagship daily news podcast from ABC News — a straightforward look at the day’s top stories in 20 minutes. Listen for free every weekday on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn, or the ABC News app. On Amazon Echo, ask Alexa to “Play ‘Start Here'” or add the “Start Here” skill to your Flash Briefing. Follow @StartHereABC on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram for exclusive content, show updates and more.

[sidras-tak]

@stormybisexual wanted a ficlet about Ryan Is Cute And Literally Everyone Knows It. ilu phee!

As soon as the new doctor—Ryan Dalias—cleared the room, Jane lunged for her comm pad. She switched from the nurse-on-duty account to her own personal one, clicking through until she got to Chatterbox.

jane ‘better than u’ johns: guys

jane ‘better than u’ johns: guYS

jane ‘better than u’ johns: NEW DOCTOR ALERT

holly ‘the pretty one’ redden: THE ONE WITH THE PINK HAIR I KNOOWWWWWWWWW

holly ‘the pretty one’ redden: I SAW HIM WHEN HE DOCKED. I DID HIS ID CARD FOR HIM

holly ‘the pretty one’ redden: JANE HE SMILED AT ME

holly ‘the pretty one’ redden: HE HAS A STUPID CROOKED SMILE

henry ‘professional gay’ osolong: dibs

holly ‘the pretty one’ redden: YOU CANT DIBS HIM I ALREADY DIBS’D HIM

henry ‘professional gay’ osolong: fucking watch me?

Other members of the chat chimed in with their opinions. Chatterbox was a perfect platform for the frustrated singles on EOS 10 to keep tabs on newcomers and cry about their dismal love lives. (And hey, if you really got desperate, someone would usually be dtf). The so-called HottieWatch had been moving pretty slow for the past few months. Then a pink-haired piece of ass with a stupidly charming smile and fuckin’ dimples, lord above, arrived and shook things up.

The only problem was that there was no way he was going to last, not when he was here to replace Urvidian. Too bad. Jane hoped someone would be able to tap that perfect ass before he inevitably gave up and left them all behind.

Ryan, for his part, noticed that he seemed to be drawing more stares and whispers than he had expected. Maybe word had gotten out whose son he was—Admiral Dalias was pretty well known, all things considered. Or maybe Doctor Urvidian had thrown a drunken hissy fit about Ryan being his ‘replacement’. Whatever the reason, more than one person stepped up to introduce themselves while he was walking down the corridors or on his lunch break. He ended his first day with a dozen new contacts on his comm pad, which was great. Admiral Dalias had drilled it into him to start making professional connections as soon as possible. Unfortunately, some of the contacts had accidentally given him their personal info. He deleted those numbers to be polite, making a mental note to get their professional contact info from their superiors.

Over the next few days, HottieWatch fell from the heights of elation to the pits of despair. Ryan hadn’t contacted a single one of them. Not an email, a call, not even a text. Jane got temporarily kicked off the servers for bragging one too many times about working with him. Osolong wisely kept his mouth shut, and stayed on. The GimJahh stand owner got bragging rights and a blurry photo when Ryan stopped by to try their….whatever GimJahh was. An anonymous user known only as Robin got kicked off for making up rumors about seeing Ryan’s dick, which he assured them was as prefect as the rest of him.

Ryan never figured out how so many people knew him without ever introducing himself, or why shopkeepers tended to give him discounts ‘just because’. Maybe it was just because he was new, because after a few months, right around the time of his father’s funeral, the random encounters slowly stopped happening.

One day after his shift ended, he picked up Jane’s comm to check the schedule and found it open to a group chat. All of the users were discussing how someone working double-triple shifts back-to-back, saying that he looked tired and worn out. Curious, he scrolled up a little in the chat. They talked a lot about this one guy, Ryan noticed. Jane said she was worried about him. He’d been through some terrible things lately, and that they should stop approaching him in public for a while, give him some space. The others agreed with her, which led to the lamenting about how listless he’d been looking lately. Ryan frowned—he’d been through some shit lately, and he knew how awful it was to face that alone. It seemed almost cruel to jointly agree to just leave the man alone while he struggled through whatever he was dealing with.

Ryan set up a new profile.

ryan dalias: hey, who are you guys talking about?

holly ‘the pretty one’ redden: um

No one else added anything, though Ryan could see several people typing at once. And then, suddenly,

[chat deleted]

Ryan set down the comm pad, frowning. He’d ask Jane about it later. Or maybe not. Maybe he didn’t want to know after all.

“Well,” he muttered, standing up slowly. “Whoever you are, I hope you’re alright.”

He thought about the new cat currently sitting in his room, about the friends that knew him well enough to snap him out of his depressive funk. He hoped that guy had friends as good as his.

[haikyuuau]

unromantic / kageyama x reader

[unromantic – one shot] //kageyama x reader// word count: 1886 words Honestly, you hadn’t thought about getting married, being with ‘the one’ since all you wanted to do was focus on your career of being an anchor at the moment. People easily labelled you as a hopeless romantic and to say they were surprised to see you together with Kageyama was an understatement (since most of them thought that he was gay with Hinata but back to the story). You were easily one of the best anchors at that point of time until today. Kageyama and you both. He was one hell of a volleyball player while you were a realistic anchor who seemingly reported everything with honesty and as one of the most successful anchors, told your colleagues that “we are to report the truth and the truth only.” Therefore, marriage never came to your mind but of course, being the unpredictable limited vocabulary and word choices person Kageyama was, he just had to do it, in the most unpredictable manner you could possibly think of. It was during your company meeting when you phone buzzed. All eyes were on you as you took a quick glance at your handphone. With a quick wave of your hand, you dismissed your colleagues after instructing them as to what to do while wondering how important this was for him to call you when you were at work. The minute everyone left, you picked up your phone and swiped the banner on the screen which read ‘♡Tobio♡’ with the snapchat logo at the side. It left you puzzled as your screen brightened for a moment signalling that it was loading. Why exactly? 1. Being the outdated person Kageyama was, you never thought that he will use the snapchat account you created for him (he asked you what snapchat was and you had to spend an hour teaching him how to use it since his fan on Facebook requested for him to do so). 2. He still didn’t know how to use snapchat and dubbed it as the useless app because he didn’t know how to take selfies (more like he would glare at the screen and get scared by his own face). 3. You two fought last night. 4. He was playing volleyball. 5. He was playing volleyball. 6. He was playing VOLLEYBALL FOR GOODNESS SAKE. Your questions were answered when an orange haired boy popped out on the screen, the other hand holding a peace sign with the caption saying, “Guess what (F/N)”. The next photo loaded with Hinata running while taking a video. You turned on the audio as the words were blurry. Frowning, you tapped the video as it replayed again, showing Hinata sprinting with your angry cinnamon roll running behind with his death face. You crossed your fingers placing your phone down before your hand morphed into the prayer sign, “Rest in peace, I will remember you.” God knows how you got into the newscaster family. The audio continued playing as Hinata shouted “Kageyama has a surprise for you. Let me give you a hint, he is pl-.” The video was cut off and Hinata was rolling while the phone was flying to somewhere else. 'I hope his phone doesn’t spoil. It was Daichi and the third years’ present to him after all.’ You thought before letting out a sigh. The files you were carrying seemed light as you were originally thinking about lecturing your assistant who probably went off to her cubicle to watch 'Kuroko no Basket’. But a thought was stuck in your mind, what exactly is this surprise Hinata was talking about. You sat on your office chair, letting out an 'oomph’. Thinking that you deserved a short break while the sky had darkened, you took a spin on your swivel chair while looking at the huge map of the areas you and Kageyama wanted to go. The blue pins were the areas your boyfriend wanted to go while the white pins were the areas you wanted to go. Your eyes landed on a particular photo of a rare photo of Kageyama laughing while recalling the memories both of you shared. It was during the summer as you were wrapped in a bundle of clothes, hoping it was a camouflage but obviously who in the right mind will dress in a black coat and sunglasses. Caption obvious right? The two of you hid in the photo booth, trying to escape from the clutches of your fans. It was only then you two bursts out laughing and a photo came out from the slot. Who knows why? Maybe it was magic? We will never know. “Ah young love,” A familiar voice snapped you out of your thoughts. You looked at your assistant and said sweetly, “About time you showed up. May I know what do you need?” Your assistant shuddered at the sweetness of your voice which everyone knew was laced with venom which left you contented with your actions. “Kageyama-san is downstairs. He has been waiting for you for almost 15min.” You felt your heart pounding into a chest and were shocked that Kageyama would actually interrupt his practice to visit you. Unknowingly, your lips tugged and morphed into a gentle smile before turning into absolute mortification when you realised that he was visiting you after your big fight last night. Taking a few deep breaths in, you felt your breathing becoming normal as you let out a sigh. With a wave of your hand, you inaudibly dismissed your assistant. “By the way, you should smile like that more often, you look so much prettier.” Your assistant complimented you and gave you a comforting smile, knowing exactly what you were going through. “Thank you,” You somehow managed to stutter out; more preoccupied with the thoughts in your head than anything else. “Well, it looks like it’s time to get drunk and fucked today. Kind of earlier than what I expected but as a bitch, what can I say?” You mumbled softly to yourself and began counting your footsteps until the lift to see how many steps it will take until your heartbreak. Jamming your finger into the button that read ‘first floor’, you wondered what you had done wrong in your current relationship. It was true, scratch that, a fact that your relationships never lasted and that you were obsessed with work and school but that didn’t mean that you didn’t have feelings. You had only five ‘external’ relationships in your entire 28 year old life time. One of which was your relationship with your best friend, two was friendships that never lasted for more than three days and the second last was a relationship which you tricked yourself into thinking to make yourself feel like a girl characters in shoujo manga who were as plain as plain jane. Not like you weren’t one yourself. Obviously, the last one was with Kageyama, the three year relationship you had with your college dorm mate, Kageyama. According to sources, specifically Tobio’s seniors who claimed to be love experts, Noya-senpai and Tanaka-senpai had been pushing Kageyama to confess to you, even Tsukishima, the cold hearted tall French fry was irritated by you and Kageyama denseness, causing him to play apart in the tragic play (a cliché play) to force your relationship to the next step. The elevator let out a short ‘ding’ interrupting your train of thought. You composed yourself, mentally preparing yourself for a soon to be single status. Leaving the elevator, you left a trail of tears behind. Making your way to the designated location, you puffed out your chest, hoping to leave at least a slight bit of dignity for yourself. Seeing the silhouette of the figure you were looking for, you mustered up your courage, waving to Kageyama while talking in a louder tone than usual to get his attention, “Tobio!” You watched him as he fumbled with a something and shoved it into his coat. His hand backed against his head as he attempted to act aloof, “Hi (F/N).” “Wassup man, Hinata sent me some kind of video saying you had a surprise for me and all that,” You spoke trying to contain the tear that was threatening to slip out any second. Kageyama noticed your unusual behaviour and asked with concern, “What happened?” It was as though everything you felt suddenly came loose and you began speaking at breakneck speed while crying, “I um… I… I just. I thought that you hated me. I thought that you didn’t like me anymore and that I was a mistake because I am so unromantic and I am not good enough for you. I’m so sorry that I can’t even be like those couples on Instagram who are like kissy kissy and like babe and honey. I just don’t know how to express myself because I am like a robot incapable of expressing emotions. Ithoughtthatyouweregoingtobreakupwithme.” As Kageyama watched you blabber on while turning round and round like a duck, he swiftly pressed his lips against yours silencing you. Gently, he used his calloused fingers to wipe off the tear streaks on your face. “When did I even say that I was going to break up with you? I love you so much (F/N). You are like the light of my life.” He whispered to your ear before saying, “Well originally I wasn’t planning on proposing here but fuck it.” You covered your mouth as you watched him kneel down in front of the glass panels that had fireworks lighting up the sky saying, ‘marry me’. “(F/N)(L/N), you have always been there for me and you have never once abandoned me. What I have in you is what every person in this world is searching for. Looking at you takes my breath away. You are so perfect but I would like to change only one thing… your last name. I love you so much and I would like to spend the rest of my life with you. (F/N) will you marry me?” He spoke while you teared up as every word left his mouth. Little did you realise that there had been a crowd beside you who begin cheering, “Say yes! Say yes!” “Yes, I would like to marry you!” You said while embracing him into a tight bear hug. While the crowd broke out into cheers, he slipped the ring up your ring finger before pulling you in for a passionate kiss. “You once said that you were incapable of emotions. But even robots deserve happy endings, so let’s be unromantic together.” [extra] “By the way, is there any chance that that line was taught by Oikawa-senpai?” No response. “Oh, Tobio-chan! How adorable! Back in the days, you would ask Oikawa-senpai to teach you how to serve. Hah, those were the good days. I should really write that down before I forget.” Absolute silence. “What did you say to him again? Oikawa-senpai, please teach me how to serve!” “Shut up you dumbass. Why did I even propose to you in the first place.” “Too bad, you told me you can’t get a refund just now lol.” “Shut up dumbass.” “Pft, Kei-kun was right, you really have a restricted range of vocabulary. Remind me to get you a dictionary for your birthday lol. Besides, is that the way you should treat your fiancé?”

[missguomeiyun]

dinner @ Double Greeting Wonton House

I wanna hear your answer: Was there a restaurant that you/your family went to in your childhood but (as you grew up...) you haven’t visited for 15+ yrs? The follow-up question: Was it more or less the same as you remembered it when you revisited it?

For me, such restaurant would definitely be Double Greeting Wonton House (DG). Like Taipan located in Chinatown, my family & I would come to DG with another family (grandparents, parents that are my parent’s generation, & their kids, which were 2-10 yrs younger than me) for late-night meals sometimes. So the routine was like: have dinner at one of our houses, chit-chat, then go out again for late-night dinner. Of course, we abandoned this habit over a decade ago. But nonetheless, I still remember DG’s exterior/interior. I occasionally pass by this place as it’s next to the Chinese Multicultural Centre.

Its full store front. Looks super shady (& it is lol).

But you can’t judge a book by its cover. They got a TripAdvisor Certificate of Excellence. A lot of ppl have been here since the 80s when they first appeared & are still coming here! One thing for new customers is that: don’t let the shadiness or “dirtiness” scare you. They have awesome food!

Side note: regarding this “dirtiness”. Was on the topic at work about restaurants & someone said, “for places like .. ‘blah blah’ I always check the health inspection/hygiene reports before going. If it’s an issue, I won’t go.” I was literally dying on the inside, thinking, what do these reports mean? lol being named on such reports but still in business literally just means they have “cleaned up” & are ok to serve food again. But what about those ‘negatives’ where they’re not in any report? Does it mean they’re actually 100% “clean”, or did they just pass the minimal standard so their name didn’t get released? Maybe they just escaped under the radar? Maybe on the day inspection came, they were ok, but the day after, they’re terrible? As a normal customer, you don’t know what’s going on in the kitchen, right? I just find the statement so funny, & to an extent uneducated. You know what I mean? Even a “good” restaurant will have its dirty moment. *shrugs* that’s just my opinion - I won’t not go to a restaurant based on that factor is what I’m really saying.

Their menu - the good ol’ folded laminated type of menu haha they also dropped off a pen & the order form. Customers fill it out themselves & then they review the order with you before they take it away.

Appetizers.

Sorry it’s blurry.. . didn’t realize this till I looked at the photos on my laptop =( Look at the prices; most are under $10! Like tell me, which restaurant still have these prices?!

The restaurant has Chinese customers for the most part but during my evening there with my parents, we saw many different ethnic groups coming in as well - that don’t speak Chinese. The table next to ours actually ordered by number straight off the bat without spending much time on the menu, which shows that they were very familiar with the menu/are regulars.

I’m just gonna tell you other things about the restaurant in between these menu photos :P

Their staff: the guy in his 40s/50s who “overlooked” the place (owner?), with 5 servers that did everything from taking orders, wiping tables, bringing dishes out (a lady held a big tray with her left arm, & on it were 5 plates of food!), setting tables after clean-up, & got the bills for ppl. They literally did everything, running back & forth. The guy wasn’t just doing nothing either, he answered many take out phone calls (in Chinese & English), & he also occasionally wiped tables & such.

The restaurant itself was super busy for a Saturday evening. Tables & tables of customers came & went, came & went. My family was one of the very few that actually took our time.

A summary of their menu: they have everything you would see in a Hong Kong-styled Cantonese café. The prices are very cheap, & there are many opions.

The cashier counter. Loved the “oldness” of this place. It honestly looks exactly the same in terms of the layout compared to when I last visited (which was likely >15 yrs ago). But everything looked newer. I’m sure they've had at least 1 reno since then.

On the far left is the entrance. Once you walk in, you will see a washroom & an ATM on your left. Then you enter the dining area. There are different types of tables: circular for large groups, 2-persons, & couch-seating like where I sat. The hole there leads to the kitchen but that little corner there is for storage.

Let’s move on to the food!

234. Deep fried fish with sweet & sour sauce. Mom loves the sweet & sour pork but decided on the fish version bcos it was later than our usual dinner time & we didn’t want to eat pork. The fish was basa fillet I’m sure. Lightly coated with batter, deep fried like the usual. I really liked the fish actually. It was REAL fish, not half batter, half fish. The sauce, however, I didn’t like it too much bcos I’m not into this type of sauce to begin with. Also, I don’t eat raw onions/half raw onions, so the onions were . But my mom & dad both liked the dish!

63. Chicken cubes & gai lan chow mein. This was my favourite of the evening! Huge pieces of chicken breast, gai lan was cooked perfectly (some places undercook them), & the noodles... wow! Crunchy when without the sauce (like on the edges), but soft & chewy with the sauce (under the chicken & gai lan where the sauce is). The sauce was a nice & simple oyster sauce-based sauce. Not too salty, & very tasty.

78. Beef chow fan (flat rice noodles) with bean sprouts. If you eat with my mom at places like these, expect to eat this every time (or at least, 99% of the time) lol I don’t know what it is, but she just loves this dish & orders I everywhere. A part of me thinks she’s just lazy or can’t make up her mind with the menu so it’s her go-to item haha anyways, this came out steaming hot & the smell was just so .. . powerfully appetizing! The taste was good, not as savoury/salty as you would expect based on the smell, but that’s good bcos it won’t make you thirsty! A large amount of beef for 10.75 in my opinion. Noodles were cooked decently well, with some pieces that were stuck together. Most importantly, this dish had that “wok” hotness to it. So yummy!!!

Definitely will be back again & likely fairly soon bcos my mom said this will become our new family favourite for Chinese food haha she is the type that sorta dislikes the idea of going out for food... but she really liked this place so I think that says something. That was a strong statement coming from her. For me, I liked both the chow mein & the flat rice noodles but the fish was the only thing I really liked in the 1st dish so.. 9/10!

Bonus photo #1. Haha shady.. . oh yeah! This place is cash-only so remember to either bring cash or your card for the ATM!

Bonus photo #2. I am so digging this background for a swag “back alley” photoshoot, like not joking at all. This is a far stretch but it kind of reminds me of those magazine photos of either street wear or Kpop album teaser photos of hiphop artists........ I don’t know. Like the ones taken in back alleys in LA!

Suuuuuuuuweeeeeg.