#but they still grow into each other like two hugging trees

[ahundredtimesover]

I Want You to Stay (08) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut

Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, attempted assault; use of the term slut in a derogatory way, prior incidence of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts and business/property devt talk that’s probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; eventual explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)

Chapter Word count: 17.4k

Series Masterlist

Status: Ongoing

Series summary: Working for Jungkook isn’t the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesn’t smile, he doesn’t appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. You’ve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.

Playlist 🎶: on the way home

A/N: Hiii thank you again for all your love and appreciation for this story. Srsly, I'm perpetually blown away 🥰 But like I've mentioned, updates will take longer after this as I return to uni, so I hope for your patience as we get closer to the end.

This chapter also contains triggering topics such as sexual harassment and attempted assault. There's a discussion on what happens after something traumatizing like that, so pls be cautious and know that what's depicted here is just another way of dealing with such experience.

On another note, I hope you enjoy this!

And as always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight  🥰

PS. If I can’t tag you, pls fix your settings!

The end-of-autumn chilly air pierces through your skin, lingering even as you settle inside the plant store that gives the warmth that you need. You sigh in relief, and Soomin and Jimin giggle at you because they know how you are. It’s why during moments like this, their affection shows, hugging you from each side as you look up at the shelf for another rubber tree you want to add to your collection.

“What are you two on about?” You ask, nonchalantly releasing your arm to get your chosen glossy plant. 

“Nothing, just showing our love,” Soomin says, resting her chin on your shoulder. “We know you love the cold even if you easily get cold. You don’t like hugs either but you can’t do anything about us.”

“It’s true that I can’t do anything about the both of you,” you hum. “But you also know it’s not that I don’t like hugs. It’s just not my preferred form of affection.”

“Even after all the years that we’ve been giving it to you?” Jimin asks, as he pulls away from you to place the plant in your cart.

“Yeah. I mean, if I only give or receive it every few weeks, then it wouldn’t be,” you respond. “But I also wouldn’t really know. Other than you guys, there’s not much affection I feel towards other people.”

It’s a reality you’ve long accepted. You’re away from your family and friends, and the only other form of affection you receive is through sex with the few men you’ve been interested in - pleasurable at best, shallow at worst. Perhaps it’s the reason why you do, you think now. They’re still good substitutes. Being alone doesn’t feel so lonely when you’re intimate with people you don’t exactly share moments of intimacy with. You’ve learned these last few years that there’s a difference. 

Your friends just hum in agreement, choosing now to point out that your home is transforming into some zen garden with the amount of plants you’ve bought just this last month. 

“Should I just be a gardener or a plant store worker?” You look at them. “Or study to become a landscape designer?”

“Honey, tending to low-maintenance plants is a different thing,” Soomin chuckles. “That’s a start, though. But kidding aside, so a career change is what you’re going for?”

“Hmm, just a thought,” you shrug. “What if moving companies isn’t just what I need? What if it’s doing something completely different? Like being out of an office or answering to someone or something?”

“That’s true. Sometimes we find what we’re looking for in unfamiliar environments,” Jimin chimes in. “Are you thinking about doing it soon?”

“Maybe not,” you say. “I’ve become quite invested in the Arts Center and I really wanna see it through. Maybe after it’s opened, then that’s when I’ll finally step away.”

“Well, you have been doing a lot of work for it,” Soomin agrees. “But… are you sure it’s the only thing holding you back? And not someone specific? A boss, maybe?”

“The Arts Center isn’t holding me back, Soo. And neither is Jungkook,” you state. “After all the years I spent in the company, I don’t wanna let anything or anyone keep me from doing what’s best for me. I don’t… I don’t wanna get stuck there. I don’t wanna keep feeling indebted. That’s what’s held me back this whole time.”

“Oh, hun,” Soomin sighs. “You don’t owe anyone anything. And if you did, you’ve paid your dues, all eight years of them.”

As Jimin heads out to get his car, she entangles her arm around yours and asks again if your decision to wait to resign has something to do with Jungkook.

“Why are you so insistent?” You frown at her. 

“Just… wondering. You haven’t expressed disdain for him in so long. Even the weekly ugh work drives me nuts messages have stopped, and that says a lot. I was just thinking that maybe he’s gone soft on you, and that you’ve gone soft on him, too. I just wanna make sure I’m ready when you drop the bomb on us or something. I mean, you two have so much tension, who knows what’ll happen?”

“Okay, what if I’ve just developed better coping mechanisms now and can manage without complaining about it? That’s a possibility. And, even if I’ve been busy with organizing events and stuff, I actually enjoy that,” you explain. 

“Okay. So what about Jungkook?”

You look away, knowing that any acknowledgment of the comfort you’ve started to feel around him may start to mean something else once you say it. Admitting even the tiniest bit of attraction is even more of a no-no, so you just play it off, the same way you did when you got home from the gala and you dodged all questions about him, choosing instead to talk about the delicious food and the weird people you met. 

“We’ve found a way to move on from how we started and learned that we actually work really well together. We have to be professional and all that.”

Right, you scoff to yourself. Thinking about your boss’ smile as you fall asleep is anything but professional.

“Fine, whatever you say,” she gives in as the car comes into view. “Just know that I’m here, okay? Jimin’s a bit protective and still hasn’t gotten over how that man treated you so you can talk to me in case anything else changes.” 

“I will,” you say, giving her hand a squeeze. 

You spend the rest of that weekend watching movies and singing your hearts out at a karaoke and stuffing your faces with good food. Before you know it, you’re back in your bed on a Sunday, all alone, but you don’t feel so lonely, nor do you feel so terrible at having to start another week. If anything, you’re wondering how Jungkook spent these last two days. At a club, maybe. He did say there’s always a party he’s invited to. 

You stop yourself from thinking of what happens after that. He’s got women at his beck and call after all, even when he’s in Singapore, as Lucas had told you during your call two months ago. But it doesn’t really matter - Jungkook is Jungkook and you’re you. And that’s not yet even considering the glaring reality of him being your boss. 

Ever since the gala, you can say that there’s been a change in how you’ve been with him. There’s a lot more attention, you’d say. There’s more admiration, too, when it comes to him doing his work, making decisions, and drawing up plans and designs. 

You understand the distance and the detachment somehow. You suppose that whatever he experienced made him that way, so you’d make an effort into making him smile, teasing him a little more than usual so there’s a bit more joy in his day. You can say he’s gotten used to it. Even Mr. Ri would laugh and join in. 

And that’s the thing - you anticipate it. You look forward to the curl of his lips and the dip on his lower cheek and the softness in his eyes and the way he turns away or bows his head to hide it. Even the way he’d play it off is quite endearing, a term you never thought you’d use to describe him. It makes you wonder if people had tried to get to know him, maybe knock on the door and wait around to see if he’d come out and let them in. 

But all that has brought you to right now - Sunday night as you think about seeing him the next morning. You think back to all the times that you’d entered his penthouse and saw him in his gym attire post-workout, the seconds you’d spent so close to him as you adjusted his necktie, and the breakfasts and car rides you’d shared. You recall the nods of acknowledgement after serving him his coffee, the times he’d agreed with your recommendations, and the instances he’d turned to you for support and his look of thanks after you’ve given it. 

Then there’s the grazing of your fingertips, the brushing of arms, the interlocking of eyes.

And your heart, beating a little too fast then.

You groan to yourself. You really have to find a way for this to stop.

You try to keep your distance from Jungkook for the next few days. 

You do your usual - fix his outfit, eat with him the breakfast you prepared, go through schedules, and join him in meetings. You do away with the eye contact, you skip the teasing, and you don’t share about your evening like you’ve been doing. And that’s only because doing so just gives you moments to remember, like his gazes lingering or the sound of his laughter. Even more, it messes with your mind thinking that just like you, he spends most of his weeknights alone. 

You act unbothered, although him catching you looking at him from your office seat and then you, quickly looking away doesn’t really help your case. 

It’s on Wednesday when he passes by your desk to put back some files and you return to your task after giving him a small smile when he asks if you’re okay.

“Yes, Mr. Jeon. Just a little tired but aren’t we all?” You respond, your eyes flitting from him to your desktop screen. 

“Yes, but most of us take breaks. You don’t,” he counters.

“Neither do you,” you turn to him with an arched brow. 

It’s become a habit of yours to remind him to rest but just like you, he’s pretty stubborn. 

“Ah, there you are,” he chuckles. “I was almost convinced you’re not really my assistant if you didn’t point that out but alas, it’s you.”

“Are you testing me, sir?” You frown at him. 

A mistake, really, since he gives you that teasing smirk of his that you’re learning is your weakness. 

“Maybe,” he shrugs. “You just haven’t seemed like yourself all week and I just wanted to make sure that you’re okay. You can take a leave tomorrow, if that’s what you need.”

“It’s okay, sir. And I’m fine,” you assure him, realizing that there’s not much that could keep you away from him. “Plus, we have that dinner with the media festival organizers tomorrow evening and it’s the only time they’re free.”

“I know,” he sighs. “As long as you’re sure. It’s selfish but I do need you there.”

Of course he does, you think to yourself. You’re there to make his life easier, after all. It’s the only reason why he’d ever need you or want you around. 

You confirm that you’ll go to work tomorrow and sigh in relief when he doesn’t say anything more. You decide to go home, wanting to get to the weekend so you can find some distraction, in whatever way that may be. 

Thursday comes and you spend your day divided between working with the support team for the upcoming VP events and coordinating with the Arts Center marketing team for the deliverables they need signed off. 

It’s busy enough that you don’t see much of Jungkook but that only really lasts until you have to accompany him to that welcome dinner with the organizers of the international media festival that Jungkook wanted to collaborate with for the Arts Center promotions. It’s happening in August of next year and while the partnership has been established,  he wants to work on his relationship with them so that the plans could firm up quickly. 

You head to Jungkook’s restaurant of choice in Itaewon, a fancy place that serves Korean dishes in a modern, artistic way. You’ve heard about it before; the food looks like something you could put at an art gallery. Korea’s exceptional ability to merge traditional and modern elements is reflected in this restaurant’s menu. It’s why he wanted to bring them here, he tells you. 

You settle in your seat, excited for the dishes that are about to come out, and that’s when you see him, the man you dated before Hajoon, and someone you haven’t heard from in a while. Of course, that wasn’t always the case. He continued to reach out months after you ended things with him. It seemed harmless then, and it was only two years ago when he finally stopped. 

Chi-won recognizes you first, having come in to serve the first set of dishes. He stares as he sets the plate in front of you, his gaze lingering even as he moves on to one of the organizers to your right. He looks different, which is why it took you another look for his face to register. He’s lost weight and cut his hair; his features look somehow harder, too. 

There’s an intensity in his eyes that you’ve never seen before. He was pretty laid-back, a reason why you both clicked that first time. He’d have his moments of frustration, letting them out in his own ways like in the bedroom, but he always seemed to get over them quickly.

Things were always casual and you made sure he knew that. He didn’t seem to mind at first but he started to want more and with your new role with Hoseok then, you were always tired and busy. The nights with Chi-won stopped being your relief, and when you told him you couldn’t see him anymore, he seemed to accept it. The messages shortly after were just about asking how you were doing and after answering twice, you stopped replying and then changed your number. You haven’t heard from him since, and you assumed he’d just accepted things and moved on.

But tonight you feel the tension, and so when he stands close to you when he serves the succeeding plates and when he waits around your table to watch you eat, you start to feel uncomfortable. 

You try to be present in the conversation happening around you, as the organizers seem to be enjoying the meal while also pitching in some ideas for the launch. You try to focus on Jungkook’s voice this time to distract you. But the pair of eyes that seems to watch your every move starts to become too much, and the anxiety builds as each second ticks by.

It’s while you wait for the dessert when you take the opportunity to step out. Jungkook mentions the invitation drafts so you say that they’re saved in your iPad that you’ll retrieve from the car parked on the other street. He agrees that it would be good to show them, so you excuse yourself and get some much needed fresh air, feeling like a weight has been lifted off your shoulder just by not being in the same space as Chi-won. 

That is, until you hear a familiar voice call your name. 

You stiffen for only a moment then continue to walk, fumbling for your phone as you try to dial Mr. Ri’s number. But you don’t get to, as the man following you pulls your wrist to get you to face him. You jerk in response, dropping your phone on the ground, and the fear fills you immediately.

“Don’t touch me,” you seeth, cradling your arm as you pick up your phone. 

You try to stay calm, even as his smug face gives you chills, and you try to remember the man who liked to laugh and joke around those years ago, seeing now that he’s nothing like him.

“Funny you say that when that’s all you wanted me to do before,” he mocks, inching closer to you. “I know you remember, ___. Those nights were amazing, weren’t they? Your body and your moans told me so, so I don’t know why you wanted them to stop.”

You want to stay silent and not give him anything, but there’s desperation in his eyes, and you’re afraid of what he’ll do if you don’t even acknowledge him, so you give the same explanation you did before.

“I told you. I didn’t want anything serious,” you say, making sure you keep your distance from him. 

“That’s not what you’d say whenever you’re drunk,” he counters. “You’d go on about not wanting to be alone, about wanting to be taken care of and being with someone who made you feel loved.”

“I never said I wanted it to be you,” you respond, too quickly for his liking it seems, as you see his look turn into anger. 

“So what was I for?” He demands. “Just the guy you fucked for the sake of it?”

“I was stressed with work and you hated yours,” you remind him. “That’s all we needed each other for.”

“But things changed for me,” he says, his voice softening again, the fluctuation of his tone scaring you even more. “I wanted to be with you. And seeing you now, I know I still do.”

“But I don’t,” you state. “I didn’t then and I don’t even now.”

“But you wanted that restaurant owner, didn’t you?” He demands, worrying you that he knows about Hajoon. 

“No, that didn’t mean anything. We were never together.”

“Bullshit, ___. I’d see you at the clubs around here with his arm on your waist, just like I used to do. That clearly meant something.”

The thought that Chi-won kept tabs on you even after you ended things makes you angry. Perhaps it’s because he works around the area you frequented during those times but even then, the fact that he even knows what Hajoon does for a living is crossing the line, and in your frustration, you hit Chi-won where it hurts the most.

“Clearly it didn’t mean enough because I’m not seeing him anymore. And I was never serious with him, just like I wasn’t with you.”

He visibly groans. He walks closer to you again, prompting you to walk backwards. With you turned back and walking on your heels on the uneven pavement, you’re worried you’ll hurt yourself. Even more, a part of you is scared that he’ll hurt you. It’s still early on a Thursday night and you’re in the quieter part of town so there aren’t many people walking on the streets; those who are are too far for you to catch their attention. So you continue your steps until you’re backed up against the wall and with nowhere to go, you start to panic, feeling the fear slowly overtake you. 

“You know, I came out here because I wanted to talk to you just to see how you were doing since you know, I actually cared about you like you wanted,” he rolls his eyes. “But seeing you act like none of what we shared mattered just makes me so angry. Why do you get to go on and treat me like shit? I’m just gonna have to do the same, then.”

At this, he cages you, his face too close to yours that you freeze in fear. The smirk makes you nauseous, but somehow you find the strength to push him away but he comes back right after, closer each time.

“I said, don’t touch me!” You yell, giving him another shove. “Just stay away from me!”

Chi-won grabs your wrist once more, holding you tightly so he can show you that he has control and that he can do whatever he wants.

“Let me go!” You plead, but he doesn’t budge. 

“I don’t want to, not when I get to have you all alone after so long,” he hums, licking his lips and dragging his eyes all over your body. “I always liked it when you came over wearing that skirt of yours.”

You know this is what he wants. He wants you to be scared, he wants to haunt your dreams and not make you forget him because he knows that you obviously already had. You’re terrified but you try to gather whatever courage you have within you to fight back.

But it’s then that you hear footsteps, and a shadow appears behind Chi-won.

“She said to let her go.”

Jungkook’s voice is hard, tense, angry. But there’s control, and you can tell that he’s trying to hold himself back. He comes into view, the mix of worry and anger on his face helping to relieve your fear. 

But it doesn’t affect Chi-won, as he continues to hold onto your wrist. Your strained face lets Jungkook know that you’re still in the man’s hold, prompting him to walk closer and repeat his words.

“I said to let her go,” he demands. “Do it. Because we both know there are so many things I can do to you and smashing your face is just one of them.”

Jungkook rolls up his sleeves and clenches his fists. He doesn’t think it’s enough to scare the man who’s holding you hostage but he thinks it’s enough to show that he’s indeed willing to throw a punch if he has to. He’d pull the man away but he doesn’t want you to get hurt. He’d beat the daylights out of this asshole but he doesn’t want you to witness that. You’re terrified already as it is; anything more might just break you further. 

So Jungkook keeps his gaze on the man, hoping the threat would work somehow.

It does, as the man lets you go then raises his arms mockingly, as if to surrender. You step away immediately, finding your way towards Jungkook. Chi-won looks at the man next to you from head-to-toe, his attempt at intimidation. 

“The boss, I assume?” Chi-won scoffs. “That’s cheap, even for you.”

“Don’t fucking talk to her like that,” Jungkook fumes, trying his hardest to keep himself together and not make this worse. 

“Women who are that lonely and that desperate for sex would do anything and use anyone to get what they want and feel better about themselves,” Chi-won shrugs. “I’m just saying I’m not surprised.”

The insult is unfounded. You know at this point, he’s just trying to say anything to provoke Jungkook and put you down in the process. Somehow you’ve learned how to deal with men like this.

“Yeah, I was so desperate that I ended up settling for a low-life like you,” you scoff, hoping the brave facade holds up. “You weren’t even that good. I could only fake it for so long.”

And this is what does it for him, as Chi-won’s face distorts in anger, and while you know your words provoked him, you wanted to show that you could regain your control, and he’s the one who now breaks because of it.

“Fucking slut,” he yells, charging towards you.

But Jungkook charges back, pushing Chi-won towards the wall and making sure he stays there. The anger on Jungkook’s face is unlike anything you’ve ever seen before, yet despite this side of him that you’re now witnessing, you can’t help but feel emotional at his presence. If it wasn’t for him, you don’t know what would’ve happened; you don’t know where you’d pull the strength to stand up for yourself.

“You say anything else and I swear, getting fired is gonna be the least of your worries,” Jungkook huffs. “Because this boss knows your manager. This boss knows the police chief at the station not far away. You hurt her and you’re gonna pay for this. I’m gonna make sure of it.”

Chi-won slowly realizes that those aren’t empty words, as he visibly starts to look worried. There’s not much he can do now. You doubt he can overpower Jungkook despite his size. You also know Chi-won doesn’t have much, and losing his job could make him lose everything. And that scares you, too.

“Jungkook, it’s okay. Just let him go,” you plead, tugging his arm to pull him away. You know how much worse it could get if anything else happens. You know that Jungkook is very much capable of inflicting physical pain, and you don’t want blood on his hands because of you. “Let’s just go back inside.”

Jungkook looks at you, the fear clearly still evident - your eyes are glassy and empty, your hand on his arm is shaking, and your voice is cracking. Whatever courage you had at answering back earlier is slowly dissipating, and all Jungkook wants is to get you away from all this. 

“I’m fine, Jungkook. He’s just angry and I don’t blame him,” you insist. 

All lies, really. You wish the worst for Chi-won, but you know it won’t do you nor Jungkook any good if you both go down this path. 

Your eyes plead for him to take your lead this time and he sees it, he sees you, and you see his tiniest of nods before turning to Chi-won.

“Get out of here and call it a night before I do anything else to you.”

Chi-won, who’s clearly still furious, starts walking away. But in his effort to regain the control you took from him, he turns to you before heading back inside. 

“You’re really fucking good at that, you know?” He says to you. “Fuck the man you know wants you and then just drop him when you get bored or when you find the next guy who can pleasure you without the commitment you obviously desperately want. You’ll always be miserable whatever you do.”

You will the tears not to fall as the words hit you where it hurts. They’re things you’ve heard not long ago, just in a different variation, and by another man who had the same fate as Chi-won - left by you because you couldn’t give them what they wanted. Maybe you’re too honest when you’re drunk, maybe that’s when the yearning for something meaningful and more permanent comes out, and maybe that’s when they thought they could be what you wanted. 

But you’ve always known from the beginning that they couldn’t give you what you desired, and you always hoped you’d cut the cord before they started to want more. Turns out your timing is just as bad as your judgment. 

You let them have the final say, though. And then you let them walk away. You feel like it’s climactic for them, liberating even, to be able to tell the person who hurt them that she’s selfish and she doesn’t deserve happiness. You suppose it just proves that they didn’t really feel much; perhaps your read on people isn’t that terrible after all. 

You manage to rein all the emotions in and look at Jungkook who remains standing next to you. His fist is still clenched and you see the anger in his eyes. You’ve never seen him like this, not even when Hajoon threatened him. This is the first time you thought he could really hurt someone, and he would’ve done it on your defense. 

“We should go back to dinner,” you finally say. “They’re probably wondering where we are.”

Jungkook turns to you, the fear still evident in your eyes but he can see you trying, he can see you try to be brave and bury all that pain in for his sake. 

“I’m not letting you go back in there,” he responds, his tone hard and firm. “I’m not letting you anywhere near that man again.”

You don’t insist this time. You don’t want to be anywhere near Chi-won, either. So you just nod and wait for Mr. Ri to arrive after he was called to come to you with the car. Jungkook is about to instruct the older man to go inside and send his apologies to the organizers but you tell Jungkook it should be him. You manage to convince him to properly send them off and pay the bill and while initially unwilling, he finally goes, giving Mr. Ri strict orders not to leave you alone.

Mr. Ri breaks at the pained look on your face - an uncommon sight for him, and one that hurts him. It’s not the first time though,  and that just makes it worse. 

“Stay strong, okay?” He says, despite not knowing what happened. “You have people around to protect you, to keep you safe. You know that.”

You nod in acknowledgement, as you’re unable to get any word out. But you see the pain in his eyes, too, and for all the years that you’ve known him, the comfort in them always comes. 

Jungkook returns and informs you that the organizers will be leaving soon. He asks you if it’s okay if he drives you home and you say that it is. Even if he’s just seen you be humiliated, somehow it’s him you want to be with you as you try to process what happened. You know it’ll ease his mind as well, and you don’t want him to worry any more than he already is. 

You both say goodbye to Mr. Ri and then enter the car, with you feeling a little odd to be sitting in the passenger seat with Jungkook next to you. But you settle in, your body moving on its own; it feels quite foreign to you, with your mind in a haze and your nails engraving their marks on your palms, as if by some miracle it could erase what happened tonight from your memory. 

But you doubt anything would.

“His shift ends soon and I don’t want to take you home right away, just in case he follows,” Jungkook says. 

You look at him questioningly and he immediately knows what you’re thinking. 

“I know the manager and I asked him,” he explains as he starts driving away. “But don’t worry, I didn’t say anything. And that bastard didn’t see me. He avoided me and stayed in the kitchen the whole time I was there, as if he wasn’t serving our table the whole evening. I should’ve picked up that he was trying to get near you. I… I’m sorry I didn’t get to you in time.”

You still came for me, you want to say. It’s the thought that keeps swimming in your mind. You don’t know how long you were gone for but he could’ve called; he chose to go out and look for you instead. 

It’s as if he knows what you’re thinking, as he says that he noticed you were away longer than he expected. 

“It just felt odd. You would’ve messaged me if something was up,” he reasons. “I guess I noticed earlier that he kept coming to our table for no reason but I didn’t pay it any mind. But then another server brought the dessert. I asked where he was and the guy said he went outside without any explanation, and I just had a weird feeling. I should’ve come sooner, ___.”

You want to say that he doesn’t have to apologize, that things could’ve been worse if he hadn’t come, that you owe him your life that he did but you’re feeling too much to even manage a word out. 

At the stoplight, he turns to you and sees the half-moons embedded on your skin. He sees the glassy eyes and the trembling lips. He wants nothing more than to shield you from all this, to take you somewhere where you’re safe and where no one can hurt you. He didn’t think that seeing you like this would make him feel so powerless, because much as he can make that man’s life miserable if you let him, what he can’t do is take your pain away. What he doesn’t know how to do is comfort you.

“I’ll drive you around first, is that okay?” 

You nod, turning to your right to watch the city pass you by. It’s a breeze driving down the bridge as lights illuminate the Han River. The moon’s reflected on it, too, but you don’t feel any joy nor calmness. All you feel is this heavy burden of disgust and fear and shame and loneliness and anger. 

You quickly wipe the tear that falls, hoping that Jungkook doesn’t see. Your eyes remain glued outside, and you watch the buildings slowly disappear, replaced by little cafes and stores closing shop. It’s a familiar street, one you’ve passed by on some mornings, and you appreciate the familiarity. 

The car stops but you don’t look away from the window, afraid that seeing the worry on Jungkook’s face will make you break down. 

“We’re at a neighborhood park near your place,” he says. “I’ll just be outside, just in case you need time alone. You can put the radio on blast. You can honk if you need me, or you can come out if you want to. I’m just here.”

He doesn’t wait for you to respond. He just exits the car and walks towards the bench that overlooks the playground. You put the music on loudly, and perhaps just as he expected you to do, you cry. And you cry hard. 

You shut your eyes from the pain. It forces you to relive that moment but you do your best to crumple it like paper and then burn it from your memory. You know the burned pieces and the smoke will stay - an alley will trigger you, the scent of cooking oil and cheap cologne will make you gag. It’s how it is with painful memories - they burn you but there’s not much you can do to put out the fire. And when it’s gone, it’s not over. The scars remind you it happened. And then they urge you to make sure it doesn’t happen again. 

You don’t know how long it takes for you to cry out all the tears. It feels like they won’t end - they’re the words you couldn’t say earlier, and the words that would haunt you for longer. But they eventually stop falling, and you’re exhausted by the time they do. You have new crescents on your palms, too, and those may go away but you know they’re the only things that will. Everything else will be invisible, and that makes it a harder burden to carry.

Outside, Jungkook glances at the car to make sure you’re still there. He doesn’t think there’s any danger now; he doubts that man got to follow you here, too. But with what happened earlier, there’s this perpetual worry about anything that harms you, and he doesn’t want for there to be even a single second where you’re afraid, where you’re looking over your shoulder in fear, and where you think you’re everything that man said you are. 

He can try to keep you safe. He can try to lift you up. But when it’s about trying to forget, trying to move on, he knows there’s not much he can do. He knows a bit about painful experiences and memories that won't leave him. He’s done his best to hide those away, kept in the deepest nooks of his being that’s caused him to conceal parts of himself as well. It’s not easy to do but he does it; all these years later, he doesn’t know how not to.

But then there’s you and somehow, those parts of him that he’s kept hidden come out. Maybe it’s those pieces that will help comfort you, that will help protect you, that will help keep you safe. He’s not sure but if they are, maybe it’s not such a bad thing for them to resurface, if it means you won’t be scared or hurt or alone. 

His gaze flits back to the playground. He glances at your direction every few minutes. He wants to respect your privacy, at least as much as what his car and the radio on blast could give. He hopes that all the crying could help ease your pain somehow. He also hopes he’s one person who could. 

Jungkook hears the door open and he turns to see you slowly get out. He remains in his seat and waits to see where you go. A minute later, you’re sitting on the bench next to him, your breathing slowed down now, and your hands are less shaky than earlier. Your eyes are still glassy, and he wishes he could wipe the tears away should they fall, but he knows it’s not something he can do.

Both of you sit in silence as you watch the moon dance over the field of grass. It’s peaceful here at this time of the night. It’s not a place you expected him to take you but you’re glad that he did. 

You didn’t grow up going to parks because your mother rarely had time to take you; no one could accompany you either. When you moved to Busan during your pre-teen years, you felt you’d outgrown it even if Jimin and Soomin would invite you. There were always so many kids around and you didn’t know how to talk to them or to play with them so you always stayed in your own spot, near the tree where you could watch them run about. 

“I didn’t know where to take you but, uh, I loved playing in the playground when I was a kid,” Jungkook bursts through your thoughts. “It somehow always made me feel safe.”

“Did you like going to parks, too?” You ask, finally finding your voice, visibly surprising him.

“Not really. I wasn’t exactly fond of people even as a child,” he softly chuckles, earning him a small smile. “And well, my older brother liked to tease me in front of his friends when we’d play so I would ask to go late in the afternoon once the kids have left. My father picked up on it so he built a playground just for me in our backyard. It was really nice. I’d spend all day there when I was younger.”

A little Jungkook coming down the slide, climbing up the rock wall, and playing in the seesaw looks so wholesome. You wonder if he squealed while on the swing like kids usually do. Maybe. It’s nice to imagine a version of him that’s joyful and free. You wonder when the last time he felt that way was.

You also wonder what has made him share something that feels so personal to him with you. You’re thinking maybe it’s to make you feel comfortable or to ease your nerves; maybe it’s to tell you that unlike Chi-won, he’s not there to threaten you. Maybe Jungkook wants to tell you that he’s someone you can trust, that despite what you are to each other, at this moment, he can be a friend.

“Thank you, Jungkook,” you manage to say. “Thank you for coming to find me and keeping him away from me. He… he was someone I used to see and I ended things and I thought we were okay. I hadn’t seen him in a while and—”

“You don’t have to explain it to me,” he says softly. “I understand that it’s difficult and reliving it might just make you more scared and upset.“

“But I… I need to say it, at least just this once,” you stammer. “Just so it won’t stay in my head like some made-up reality until I’m convinced it didn’t really happen. Because it did.”

He turns to you, his eyes the most sympathetic you’ve seen them, and he nods.

So you tell him - how Chi-won kept staring at you as you ate, how he pulled you towards him and then caged you against the wall.

“He was too close and I could… smell him, as if he wanted me to remember his scent, and that he didn’t want me to ever forget it,” you say.

Your tears fall slowly this time. Your voice cracks and your nails dig into your skin again. It feels so heavy, that even as you try to expend the negative energy, it’s still there. As if the memory itself is tangible, like a sack of sand filling you from inside and it makes you unable to breathe. 

But the sight of Jungkook’s trembling hands catches your attention, and you turn to him - his jaws tight and his eyes, tense and deep.

“I’m so angry for you,” he heaves, his fists clenching now. He still wants to wipe your tears but he also wants to go back to the restaurant and finally punch that man’s face. “You should file a case. You have all the grounds for that. I can get him fired and he can lose everything.”

“The law and society in general don’t favor us, Jungkook. I don’t have bruises or anything; that’s what they look for. They think that all harm done only leaves visible marks,” you sigh, knowing that there’s not much you can do. “There’s no other witness but you and that itself… might not look good. If I do file a case, he’ll just bring up our past, my past, and taint my reputation. That’ll just ruin me and everything I worked hard for will be for nothing.”

“But you can’t just let him get away with this, ___,” he insists, feeling unusually emotional now. “He hurt you. And what if he does it again? Telling the police can keep him away. I’ll make sure of that.”

The urgency in his voice is something new to you. But you also know he’s right. Jungkook’s family has connections that run deep. He can very well seek revenge for you for all he wants but he wants your permission, he wants to know it’s what you want.

“I… I can’t risk it,” you say. “If by some miracle the case is successful, he’ll just spend a few months in jail or do community service then he’ll be out. He would lose more and I would be the cause of all that. And what if he tries to get revenge? How do I win?”

At his silence, you continue. “That’s right, I can’t.”

“But… don’t you want to fight?” He asks, almost desperately. His tone is low, as if he’s trying to convince himself that fighting back is the answer. “Don’t you want to make sure that he won’t do it again to you?”

“I do, but what if I lose everything in the process, what then?” You counter. “I… I’m not strong enough for that, Jungkook. That’s not a battle I can fight, not when I’m alone here. Not when I’m also just trying to get by.”

You look back at his eyes, helpless and apologetic now, and at this time, this companionship is what you need. It’s as if he’s telling you with them that you may think you’re on your own but you aren’t. Even as you shiver from within, you don’t feel so alone with him next to you.

“I… I was seeing him for a year but things weren’t serious. He probably just wanted to scare me, to assert control because he lacks it in other aspects of his life. Cowards do that, I guess,” you shrug, trying to reason to yourself how someone you knew fairly well could do something like that to you. 

People change, you suppose. Or maybe he’s always been like that; it takes a while sometimes for the demons to come out. 

“But cowards don’t have a right to do that,” Jungkook reasons. “They don’t deserve to just walk away and not deal with the consequences.”

“They don’t. But I don’t deserve to suffer more,” you point out. “The things he said… that’s probably enough revenge on his end, I guess. If he wanted to hurt me, well then, he did.”

There’s an emptiness in your eyes that Jungkook sees. There’s a tinge of submission, as if you accept the pain even if you don’t think you deserve it. And maybe that’s why you’re choosing to fight this battle this way. We can’t do anything about how people hurt us, but we choose how much more we let them do it. 

“Prove him wrong, then,” Jungkook says. “He doesn’t get to tell you that you’ll be miserable your whole life. So chase what makes you happy. And let yourself be loved.”

It’s permission that he doesn’t have a right to grant, but he supposes that if there’s any way you can defeat that man’s voice in your head, it’s by searching for the things you want and fighting to keep them. 

“One day,” you manage to smile at him. “I’ll do those one day.”

It’s like a promise you’re making to him just as you make it to yourself. Jungkook can’t think right now what that would mean. Finding your happiness could lead you anywhere; it sure could lead you away from him. 

“So what happens now?” He asks, hoping there’s a way he could help you get through this.

“I continue living my life and not let this define me,” you shrug, half believing in the power of just pushing through it. “I’ll probably be anxious and paranoid for a while but this is what I can do for now. I’ll just be careful and… learn how to deal with all this one day at a time, I guess.”

“And I’ll have Mr. Ri drive you home every night, at least for these next few weeks. Do you need to move houses?”

“Chi-won doesn’t actually know where I live. I never let him come over. I don’t really like having people in my house.”

Jungkook hums to himself. He isn’t that different from you, it seems. But he takes your word for it, not wanting to impose. There are so many things he wants to do, like ruin that man’s life because things like that can’t go unpunished but he trusts you. At the end of the day, it’s your call, and he respects whatever you decide. He’ll just do what he can to protect you, even if he’ll be worried like hell from here on out, an emotion he’s slowly accepting, knowing what that implies. 

“I’m sorry you had to witness all that,” you say amidst the silence. “And that you have to deal with this now. I don’t… I don’t want you to think that I’m weak and that I don’t stand up for myself.”

“You know you have nothing to apologize for,” he shakes his head. “And not fighting back doesn’t make you weak. I guess staying right where you are is a way of fighting, too.”

“I have people around… somehow,” you comfort yourself. “I’m gonna be fine. I have to believe I will.”

Jungkook nods and manages a smile. At this point, he thinks all he can give you is support and encouragement. He’ll continue to do what he can to keep you safe without disregarding your requests, but staying right where he is with you might just be another way to do that.

“Do you want to pass by somewhere before heading home?” He asks, knowing it’s getting quite late. “A restaurant to grab a drink or something? You didn’t get to have dessert so maybe a cafe?”

“A convenience store is fine,” you smile, knowing the treats that would make you feel better. 

Jungkook chuckles, as it’s a place he didn’t really expect you’d want to go to after an experience like the one you just had. But it’s you and he should be used to you surprising him, so he nods and gestures towards the car. 

It takes five minutes for you to get there and he looks around and asks what you want to have. 

“A cup noodle,” you answer, walking towards the aisle where they’re shelved. “Do you want some? I mean, you eat these things, right?”

“Of course I do,” he scowls at you, picking up one himself. “I just… don’t eat it at a convenience store.”

“Because you don’t go to one?”

“I do. I’m not a spoiled brat who doesn’t know how to do ordinary people things.”

“You mean commoner things,” you raise an eyebrow. “Or plebeian activities. Or non-heir stuff.”

“Whatever. I won’t even defend myself to you,” he huffs, giving in because seeing you amused is a welcome sight. 

“It’s okay. I’m not judging you,” you teasingly smile. “I’m just… laughing at you in my mind.”

You walk towards another aisle and leave him with a smile he’s glad to be making now. He follows and watches you pick up a few more things before you head to the counter where he manages to bring out his card first and pay.

“That's all I can do,” he shrugs after you thank him. 

“You’re doing so much for me already,” you assure him. “Taking me somewhere so I could cry, making sure I get home safe… staying with me.”

“That’s not even enough to—” 

“You don’t know how to accept gratitude, do you?” You ask as you blow on your noodles. “I notice how you brush it off when someone thanks you.”

“Not used to hearing it, I guess,” he shrugs, not thinking it was something you’d pick up, although there’s no lie. 

It’s always been hard for him to say things - that he’s sorry, that he’s thankful, that it’s okay. You, of all people, are the one pointing that out.

“You should be. Because I’ll say it again.” You turn to him and meet his eyes. “Thank you, Jungkook. I thought I’d just go through this alone but I’m not. And that’s… that’s something I’m not used to.”

“You should be,” he repeats your words. “There are some things you shouldn’t be going through on your own. So if there’s anything else you need, you let me know, okay?”

There’s sincerity in his voice as he speaks. You’re used to the low or stern or commanding tone, not this soft and worried one. But it’s the comfort you didn’t know you needed. After spending all that time earlier crying and feeling afraid, being with Jungkook in this bright-lit convenience store is the unexpected warmth that you’re glad you let him give you.

“I will,” you smile. “You know, this is the longest I’ve spoken informally to you. It feels a little weird.”

He laughs as he gets to the same realization. But for him, it almost feels natural.

“It would be weirder if you spoke formally after all that,” he says. “Like I said, if it isn’t about work then I don’t mind.”

You hum in response, not wanting to dwell on the implication. You’re with him after-hours, at a convenience store - that he personally drove you to - where you’re both having cup noodles and soda. This ironically feels more intimate than being in bed with some guy.

You decide to have your dessert, which is really just chocopie, and you mentally curse Chi-won for making you miss the sweet dishes from dinner. But still, you know this one could easily cheer you up. You give one to Jungkook, and his amused tone catches your attention.

“Oh wow, I haven’t had one of these in years,” he says, eating it one bite. “Mother used to give this to me all the time when I was a kid because her best friend owned the company that makes them. There was a time I’d have it as dessert after every meal.”

“Seriously?” You giggle. “That is so weird. This is my favorite. My mom would always buy this for me. When she worked at a school in Busan, she would give it as a treat while I waited for her at the library. That would just always make my day.”

“Hmm, it’s a good snack,” he says, smiling as he takes another piece that you offer and recalls how he used to have this everyday. “So she’d pick you up at the library? Was that your favorite place at school?”

“Hmm, not really, but it reminded me of the one I used to go to,” you reply. “When we lived in Seoul when I was young, there was this family-run library for children in the neighborhood. It was very cozy, with lots of soft chairs and reading nooks on the walls. There were these huge stuffed toys that you could lie on while reading so it felt like someone was hugging you. It had warm lights, not like those usual bright ones. There was this mural of the characters from the books they had,” you narrate, smiling as you remember the days you spent there. 

“Mom would pick me up from school during her lunch break then drop me off at the library where her friend volunteered at and I’d wait until she got off work. When we moved to Busan, I kept looking for it. The one at the school wasn’t the same so I didn’t enjoy it as much, but there was nowhere else to go. Eventually I just got used to it, but the chocopie always made the wait worth it.”

It’s the most you’ve ever told him about yourself and you’re surprised at how easy it was for you to do that. He did tell you a little bit about his childhood earlier though, and you’d like to think it’s your way of returning that kind of vulnerability; a story for a story, a piece of your childhood for a snapshot of his.

You look at him and the small smile on his face. Perhaps he’s thinking the same.

“So you like reading books, then?”

“Not really, actually,” you say, earning you a confused look. “I read all the picture books they had. Those are what I liked. And they had these coloring books and paper dolls and I’d spend hours just working on those. Being there made me feel safe, too; it was like my playground, you know?”

“It’s good you had that, then. Do you still visit that place? The one in your old neighborhood?”

“It shut down years ago, sometime before I returned to Seoul to work,” you sigh. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye to it. The couple who ran it passed away and no one was interested in continuing it because it wasn’t profitable. But the community center nearby has a small library and I go there sometimes, when I’m really upset.”

“And read picture books?” He chuckles.

“Yes, actually,” you smile. “Memories are powerful and we need to let the good ones win. My childhood wasn’t the greatest but I felt like I was in a different world whenever I was in a library so being in one, even as a grown up, reminds me that there are still places where I’m welcome, where I can feel safe, you know? It reminds me that the world hasn’t completely turned dark. I’ve got to hold onto those to not lose myself.”

“That’s one way of putting it. I… I don’t think I’ve been to a playground in years before today. Other than the one that father built in the backyard at least. And I rarely even see it because I’m rarely there. I guess I just…. Let myself get lost.”

“Well, I hope going to one earlier somehow made you find yourself. Or at least reminded you of those good old days, the days when you felt free and safe and happy.”

Jungkook thinks about what he’d felt earlier, that much as being in a playground again brought him back in time, all he kept thinking about was you - alone in that car while you let all your emotions out. He wanted to comfort you but he didn’t know how, and he thinks that maybe it isn’t about finding himself but learning what he’s capable of, and that after all these years, maybe he’s still capable of caring for another person, and maybe that person is you.

“It did,” he hums, meeting your eyes. 

There’s more light in them this time and he wishes it would stay this way. He’d seen you cry months ago and it wasn’t a good feeling, especially because you’d done so because of him. This time, he feels powerless, and he doesn’t know which is worse.

He gets to be with you now though. Perhaps that’s the difference. 

You start cleaning up and it’s his signal for both of you to head out. 

It takes him ten minutes to drive to your place and a small part of you doesn’t want to leave. Even in the silence, you felt calm, something that you hadn’t expected to feel around him, considering his default tense disposition and usual detachment. But there’s something about his presence, about him just being there - he’s not trying too hard to comfort you, he’s not imposing, he’s also not invalidating your feelings. What matters is you’re not alone, and other than him making that effort, it’s also about you, allowing him to do that, something you don’t always do as well.

“Thank you again,” you say once the car has stopped. 

He nods in acknowledgment then turns to you. “It might be best if you take a leave tomorrow, and by that I mean staying home for safety reasons.”

A day to just process everything isn’t such a bad idea, so you agree. 

“If it’s not too much for your friends, maybe they could drive up here so they can be with you. Having people around you that you trust might help in making you feel better.”

“I’ll ask them. I don’t want them to worry but I do need them. So thanks, Jungkook. I appreciate it.”

You exit the car and turn around to wave him goodbye. He smiles as you do, and it’s a sight that helps you sleep later that night - after the long bath and another crying session, after the phone call with your friends who promised to be here in the morning, after the time you spend just hugging your pillow, hoping that you’d stop being scared.

But thinking of Jungkook now makes you feel better and you realize the change again - thinking about him now makes you a little braver. 

You spend that weekend wrapped up in your best friends’ arms. They arrived on Friday morning with some pork bone soup and seafood that they cooked for lunch and dinner. In the middle of the day, Jungkook texted you and asked how you were doing, and you couldn’t hide the smile on your face, which prompted a conversation about your little crush that you didn’t expect to get tense, with Jimin stating that while Jungkook did help you, being attracted to your boss is complicated and would lead to heartbreak. 

You insisted that it was harmless - a half lie, as you hadn’t thought much about it in that sense - and that it’s not something you plan on nurturing. You’re gonna leave the company one day anyway, and you won’t have to deal with him after.

The succeeding days were spent just at home, with you feeling lighter, until Sunday evening when they had to leave, and you felt a little lonely again. 

You try to let that feeling go once you enter Jungkook’s penthouse on Monday morning, knowing that with a day off, you’ll have a lot to make up for and you can’t let anything distract you from your tasks.

That includes the man himself, as he exits his home gym in sweatpants and a dri-fit shirt, the sweat sticking to his body that’s got his chest accentuated. His hair is damp and he’s panting; it’s not exactly the sight you wanted to be greeted with, considering all the thoughts in your head these past few days. You’re reminded that just last week, you’d tried to keep your distance and now, he’s making it incredibly hard for you to do that.

“Hey, how do you feel?” He asks as he takes the glass of water you set for him. “Did you get proper rest?”

“Yes, I did, Mr. Jeon,” you reply. 

“Hmm, we’re back to that again, huh?”

It takes you a while but you pick up that he’s referring to the formalities.

“I’m back on the clock, sir,” you point out. “You are my boss and I need to address you accordingly.”

It’s not a reminder he wanted, given how he’s been worried sick about you since Thursday night. Even an hour of boxing after he got home that evening couldn’t rid him of his anger. He wished he’d noticed how uncomfortable you were at the restaurant; he’s been paying attention to you anyway but he just got so caught up with impressing the festival organizers that he missed out on the signs. If he’d noticed, he would’ve gotten to you earlier and things wouldn’t have escalated. 

He had to control himself from punching that man’s face the moment he saw how close he was to you. Your plea of letting him go was the only thing that kept Jungkook from ruining that man’s life because he really could. He doesn’t think he’ll ever understand it - people like that need to be punished, but it’s people like you who remind him that fighting takes different forms, and you’re the only one who can define what that means. 

But it also doesn’t mean that he can’t get angry for you and he’ll probably feel that for a while. Knowing how you are, he knows you wouldn’t want him to pity you either, so he’ll be what he can be, and that’s someone whom you feel safe around. Regardless, maybe the reminder of your roles in each other’s lives is necessary; it’s what he needs to keep himself from doing more, or wanting to be more.

Jungkook finally acknowledges your statement with a nod and then heads to the bathroom for his shower. Shortly after, you walk towards his closet and prepare his outfits for the week. He meets you in the dining room once he’s dressed, and like clockwork, you fix his tie and his suit.

The effect is minimal but somehow, you’ve found comfort in the routine. What once was a tense and nerve-wracking act is now something automatic and essential for you. In a way, it reinforces your place in his life, but the short distance reminds you that he may be faraway or detached in some aspects but physically, he’s so close. It’s a double-edged sword, really. Some days it’s good, some days it isn’t. Today, it’s the former, and as you look up and meet his eyes, the softness in them says he thinks the same.

You go over your usual with him while munching on some pastries that Mr. Ri was ordered to buy and bring up. The ride to the office is filled with discussions on the upcoming year-end events. When you arrive, you attend two straight meetings before having another one over lunch. You accompany Jungkook to a store opening located in one of their properties after that and it’s 4PM by the time you’re able to sit on your desk for more than 30 seconds. You’ve got two hours to finish what you can today but you find yourself spacing out every few minutes.

Perhaps it’s because it’s the first time since Friday that you’re on your own. Your best friends made sure not to leave you by yourself for those three days - Soomin held you while you slept and silently cried in her arms, and Jimin hugged you for much of the day. Their affection was what you badly needed, and now that you’re without it, somehow you feel incomplete and anxious and somewhat unstable. 

Scenes are hazy in your mind. You’re at least thankful they’re not vivid anymore unlike a few nights ago, but the dim lights and the stench of the alley come to you without warning, and you suddenly freeze in panic. Your fingers tremble as you try to type away, your eyes unblinking as the tears coat them, and you feel sick to your stomach that you want to just be buried in the covers at this moment.

The door opening causes you to jerk in your seat and Jungkook stops mid-sentence to walk over to you. 

“Hey, ___. You can go home,” he says. “It’s been a long day.”

“I… I don’t know if that’ll help,” you admit. “I don’t know if being alone is what I need.”

You go home to an empty apartment just like he does, he reminds himself. He knows what that’s like. It’s why he spends most weekends in the clubs where it’s loud and crowded; those somehow mask the emptiness that can get tiring when all he has is himself. Being on your own is good sometimes; sometimes it also isn’t.

But Jungkook doesn’t know what he can offer you. His presence isn’t something exactly enticing nor comforting; he wouldn’t wanna be with him, too, if he was in a similar position.  

“Is there a way that your friends can spend another few days with you? What about your mother?” He asks. 

“They have lives back home,” you sigh. “I… I’m okay.”

“You don’t have to force it if you aren’t,” he insists. “I may not know much but I know enough that these things take time. I…”

I wish I could do more for you, he wants to say.

“I don’t have anything urgent for today,” he says instead. “You can clock off now and Mr. Ri and I can take you home.”

“That’s not necessary,” you say immediately. 

“I insist,” he replies. “At least for the next few days until we’re sure that you’re not in danger.”

You nod, not having the energy to reason with him. At least you don’t have to think about how to commute home without risking being too close to strangers. 

You pack your things and get in the car, with Jungkook letting you bask in the mellow sounds of the radio while he doodles on his leather notebook. You’re tempted to ask him what he’s drawing just to add some more noise but you decide against it, choosing instead to close your eyes and force unpleasant images away from your mind so you can train yourself to do it this time.

It works. Except, it’s the smile of the man next to you that you see, and when you open your eyes, it’s the same thing that greets you. 

He chuckles when you look around and realize that you’re home.

“I was trying to wake you but you wouldn’t budge,” he explains. “Are you just tired or you haven’t been sleeping well?”

“Oh, I just kept waking up last night. I guess that’s why. I’m sorry for making you wait.”

“It’s okay,” he says softly. “Just try to get some rest and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You nod and exit the car, feeling out of sorts even as you enter your apartment and know you’re safe inside. You nibble on some leftover pizza and try to entertain yourself with the variety shows on TV but you end up spacing out. You curl in bed, trying as much to feel comfort from your pillow that lays stiff next to you. 

You’re not big on physical affection, and most days you’re glad you aren’t because you don’t get any of it anyway, but tonight, it’s what you need. Tonight, you just want that warmth, you want a body to curl into and arms to pull you close. You want hands to caress you and soft lips to plant kisses on the places that hurt. You want to hear soft laughter and random musings and plans for the next day.

The vision ends when you realize that you haven’t experienced much of that before. There were moments during the months you spent with the men you’ve dated, but the feeling of safety was lacking, the warmth wasn’t warm enough, and the desire wasn’t overwhelming. You realize that it wasn’t intimacy you feared; losing it or finding out it wasn’t enough is what you were afraid of, and it’s why you always pulled away. No one ever seemed worth it to try or to stay a little longer for. 

You sigh to yourself as you will the tears not to fall. The loneliness can get to you sometimes, especially on days when there’s a kind of pain that’s hard to talk about and all you need is comfortable silence and understanding without words. But you try to push through. You’ve been on your own for so long anyway. Even when you had someone, you still came home to an empty apartment and you still felt like it was enough when it was just you around. 

You’re unsure if the desire for something more is just because of what you experienced, if the forced closeness and Chi-won’s burning touch hurt you too much or if you’ve been wanting that intimacy all along. Or if someone’s made you realize that you’re ready for it, that it’s actually worth it. 

You manage to fall asleep and drag yourself off the bed to head to Jungkook’s apartment the next day. You drop him off at a restaurant for a breakfast meeting before going to the office where you get to work. It’s a busy day that has you meeting with different departments and coordinating with the organizing teams for the upcoming end-of-year events. 

It’s mid-afternoon when you decide to go to the outdoor garden just right off the elevators, surprised to find Jungkook standing by the railings. Dressed in a dark gray suit, he’s got his hands in his pockets while he looks out at the busy streets, and you wonder what goes on in his mind when he looks at views like this.

The sound of the door closing catches his attention, and he turns around, surprised as well to see you here.

“Everything okay?” He asks.

“Yes, I just needed a breather.”

“Am I giving you too much work again?” He shakes his head, finding humor in it now after you pointed out one time how he once gave you so many things to do.

“It’s part of the job, Mr. Jeon. I’ve accepted that now,” you giggle, walking towards where he is then standing some feet away. “But it’s been a busy day and I just needed some air.”

“You can also take a longer break if that’s what you need.”

“I’m okay,” you assure him. “The busyness helps. I’ll get tired and hopefully fall asleep easily and then do it all again tomorrow and the next day.”

It’s a strategy Jungkook knows well because it’s something he does. Being a perfectionist helps because then, he can work himself to the bone without realizing it until he’s entered his apartment. One glass of whiskey and then he’s falling asleep on the couch. 

Weekends are tough, which is why partying and hooking up is his go-to. His best friends have asked him a few times what he’s striving towards, what he’s looking forward to and he couldn’t answer. At one point he stopped wondering, but now he wonders about you.

“What do you look forward to, then?” He asks. 

“Vacation, I guess,” you shrug. “I get to be with my friends and family but then that flies too quickly then I’m back to this routine. So maybe… I look forward to the day when I start savoring the moment, when I start enjoying what’s in front of me, when I start… feeling less alone.”

The last words come out subconsciously, prompting you to turn away out of shame. It’s not an easy thing to admit. You wanted this anyway. You chose to leave home to pay back a debt and then decided to stay because you wanted to prove yourself. You chose to not commit to anyone because the pain of loneliness is much easier to bear than the pain of losing someone. This is on you, and you deal with the consequences everyday. 

Jungkook doesn’t look confused nor curious. There’s a look in his eyes that you catch before his gaze returns to the streets below. It’s understanding; you realize he knows exactly what you’re talking about. And perhaps he’s on the same boat - letting life just pass him by despite the craziness of it all, perhaps wondering when he’ll stop to smell the roses or watch the sunset or listen to the birds. Maybe like you, he’s wondering when he’ll get to do those with a hand to hold and a body to curl into.

The silence is cut short when you’re alerted that Jungkook’s meeting with the Arts Center project teams starts in 15 minutes. You remind him about it then you both head out and go to your desks to prepare. You’re seated on your chair when you look inside his room, meeting his eyes as he looks outside towards you. There’s a small smile on his face that gives you comfort. It’s soft and assuring, and it’s definitely what you need. 

Maybe you can start with this, you think, as he nods at you then meets you at your desk to walk towards the conference room. Maybe these are the things you can start savoring before the day comes that you have to leave this place - these moments of quiet assurance, of understanding, of subtle comfort that tells you that despite the walls between you, he’ll be looking out for you even from afar.

The weeks fly by like a blur. 

The Thursday after the incident, Jungkook informed you that he got word from the restaurant manager that Chi-won returned to his home in Mokpo to stay with his parents. The next day, you took the train home to Daegu to be with your mom. She hugged you that night as you cried to her, feeling the strength that she’s had all these years, knowing that you have to be just like her and that this time, you have to be strong for her and for yourself. 

Spending time with her, Min-woo, and the girls was rejuvenating, and they promised to visit you in Seoul more regularly. They were in your apartment two weekends after, and it truly felt like you’ve become the family you’ve always wanted to have.

Work continued to be hectic as the year-end activities approached. The busyness definitely helped in moving past what you experienced, allowing you to detach from the memories. You gained the strength to keep fighting the way you wanted, and the people around you continued to be supportive and respectful.

Despite all that went on, you managed in organizing the events while also attending to some that Jungkook was invited to. 

The first one was organized by the VP’s Office for the partners of projects that it managed, with the other departments attending as well. It was well-organized, and CEO Jeon himself expressed his satisfaction with how the event came together. Jungkook’s speech was impressive. He ran it with you multiple times and he was able to shake off the anxiety by the time he got to the stage. His eloquence enraptured you; so did the way he looked in another Kim Taehyung-customized textured black suit that had you constantly internally smacking yourself because of all the times that Yoongi caught you staring. You were in full denial about your little crush but knowing your friend, he probably had you figured out, and he’d been kind enough not to push it.

The next event was a big one, as the company hosts an annual fellowship dinner for all its partners, which you had a big role in organizing. A few of you were housed in the serviced apartment building near the office leading up to it, as per Jungkook’s instructions, given that he didn’t want any of you commuting or driving home late at night. You remember how he’d said that he couldn’t risk any of his staff’s safety so casually, and you didn’t think he could be more attractive than that moment. Until, of course, when he showed up in his charcoal suit and parted hair, confidently entertaining the guests and delivering another impressive message. You snuck in a few looks later in the evening as he intently watched a ballad performer on stage, his legs crossed as he drank the flute of champagne and licked the remnants of it on his lips, causing your throat to dry up and promise yourself that you’ll get rid of this crush soon enough.

It doesn’t happen, as the final event of the year rolls around. The fellowship dinner this time is with all the staff, including some from the Southeast Asian office. Jungkook goes for a cream-colored suit this time, a light and clean look that makes him look fresh yet sophisticated. You managed to be professional every time he called for you, and you suppose it’s all the stress getting to you, but being near him made you a little anxious - there was a bit of giddiness that you didn’t want to show, but he somehow also calmed you down. The fact that he kept offering you water and making sure you had something to eat didn’t help. You blurted out that you didn’t expect him to be as thoughtful as he was, and when he said that neither did he but that you brought out that side of him after the incident at the restaurant, you had to keep your cool and act unbothered. He looked shy after, and you suppose that he didn’t mean to say it. But he did, and the words kept you up for the nights after.

You know you’re entering prohibited territory at this point and you wish there’s a way out before you get deep into the woods. You let Soomin and Jimin remind you everyday that you can’t nurture the crush, that the attraction can’t be anything more, that there are serious implications if you did, and that you’re gonna have to get over this as soon as possible. It’s Yoongi who tells you to not overthink it, that the more you force yourself out, the harder it actually becomes. 

“There are things you just let happen,” he’d said. “That’s how they eventually fall away.”

“That’s how they get worse, too,” you responded. 

“They could go either way, but resisting often ends up hurting more.”

You decide to just let the wave take you along while you train yourself to savor the moments for what they are without giving meaning to them. A smile is just a smile, a look is just a look. You know you’ll be without them one day. Just a few more months until you leave the company, and you won’t have a reason to be around Jungkook anymore. At least before then, you can hold onto whatever memories you retain, and you can learn to look back at them with gratitude that during your hardest moments, he made you feel safe.

It’s now towards the end of December and it’s the Tuesday before Jungkook is set to leave for his three-week vacation tomorrow. He called for an early dinner with the team at his new favorite Italian restaurant, wanting to properly say goodbye before you’ll all be without him for a while.

“Savor it, it won't last long,” he teases. “The holidays will be over soon and then I’ll be back before you know it. So enjoy this time that I’m not around.”

“What do you mean, sir? We’ll obviously miss you!” Do-hyun exclaims. “Mostly the once-in-a-blue-moon lunch and dinner treats and the occasional funny remarks but yeah, we’ll definitely feel your absence around.”

Her exaggerated smile lets everyone know she’s teasing, even if you know deep down, she’s telling the truth. Jungkook’s come around these past months, spending a bit of time with each team member and learning their strengths and weaknesses, mentoring the young ones, and sending pastries or dessert during the most hectic days. He’s still serious most of the time and doesn’t join the occasional post-work dinner that Do-hyun guilt trips you into going. There’s always so much to do and his perfectionism has rubbed off on everyone else, but he has his moments. And you know the team appreciates his efforts, too. 

“We’ll see. Maybe when I come back you guys will want another boss or something,” he baits.

“That was like, the first two months of you in your role, Mr. Jeon, but we’re over it,” Do-hyun admits, causing Manager Lee to panic.

He glares at her the way Chin-sun does, but you sit there giggling. Jungkook’s chuckling, too, unable to hide his amusement at the young one’s bluntness. 

She apologizes but Jungkook brushes it off, saying those first months weren’t his best. You don’t miss the way he looks at you, though, and you’ve trained yourself to not think too much about it, the way you’ve trained yourself these past weeks to just accept his smiles and glances as they are. 

“I also took you all here to thank you for this past half-year,” Jungkook continues. “It was tough. I was tough. And it was a big adjustment for everyone but you all showed how good you are as individuals and as a team and I… I needed that.”

“You led us very well, Mr. Jeon,” Manager Lee assures him. “And tough love works sometimes.”

“I suppose it does, and it goes both ways,” Jungkook replies. “And so to thank you, I got you all a little Christmas gift, something you can enjoy when you go on your respective breaks.”

At his words, you distribute the letter envelopes to the team and they open them up, gasping in surprise and in obvious delight. 

Jungkook instructed you last week to purchase two vouchers at a luxurious spa for each staff member, hoping that a bit of relaxation can help you all. You were speechless when he said which specific package he wanted, and even if you know the price is just change for him, it was still more than you expected.

“A body scrub, massage, facial, and high tea, on top of the use of their super fancy amenities?” Do-hyun enumerates, her eyes widening in awe. “That’s a full day of being luxurious and feeling rich! Mr. Jeon, this is amazing! I’m totally going by myself and going twice!”

You laugh at her antics, not surprised she’d go that route.

“This is so timely, sir,” Manager Lee says. “My wife and I are celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary next month. This is gonna be a good date.”

“And it’s my birthday in a few weeks,” Chin-sun adds. “This would be so lovely to do with my husband.”

“My girlfriend and I fought so I think she’ll forgive me after I take her with me,” Yohan says, earning him a few laughs.

“What about you, ___? Inviting anyone special?” Do-hyun asks.

“Yes, my mom,” you answer. “She’s visiting next week, then we’ll go home to Daegu for the holidays. I’m sure she’d love this.”

“Ugh, of course. Parents come first,” she sighs.

You laugh her comment and turn to Jungkook, thanking him again for the gift. He thanks you for organizing them, too, and the dinner proceeds with candid spa stories and what you’re all doing for the holidays. 

Everyone heads home from the restaurant except for you and Jungkook who return to the office to run through last minute instructions and reminders before he flies in the morning. 

You’ve got over a week before your own vacation starts  where you’ll spend a few days in Wando, Min-woo’s hometown, but that also means needing to get a lot done before that, and then returning to backlogs after but you’ll worry about that next year. Right now, you’ve got documents that need Jungkook’s signatures and some memos you need him to approve. 

It’s another hour until you finish, even if a big part of you doesn’t want him to go just yet. Three weeks feels so long when seeing him five times a week for 12 hours was your everyday these past six months. It’s gonna feel a little odd not having your morning routines and car rides. You remind yourself that you’re gonna have to start getting used to that, given that you’re gonna be letting it all go soon enough. Still, it doesn’t mean you won’t miss it. It doesn’t mean you won’t miss him. 

“Have you packed everything, Mr. Jeon? Do you have enough coats? You can get pretty cold. What about all your documents? Did you—”

“Yes, I have,” he chuckles, finding it endearing how you’re speaking too fast and making sure he’s got everything ready. 

It’s not your job since this is a personal trip but he supposes that lines have blurred a while back, and he won’t deny that he’s enjoying this bit, especially seeing you worry. He wonders if you’ll miss him, too, but he won’t risk asking you even just to tease.

“I’ve gone on trips before, ___. I think I’ll be fine.”

“Just making sure that things are okay. Because I’m definitely gonna be the one you’ll call if they aren’t.”

“Fair point,” he laughs. “But everything’s good. Hoseok has been bugging me and making sure as well. He doesn’t want anything to mess up this trip.”

“It’s really sweet that he insisted you join him and A-yeong,” you gush. “They love their winter trips and I love seeing all their photos afterwards. I can just imagine how beautiful these ones are gonna be.”

“Well, he says he misses me,” Jungkook shrugs. “I was away for a long time and frankly, we’re more colleagues here than family, so he insisted I go with them. But I also think they just want a photographer because the sights are obviously gonna be gorgeous and I happen to take pretty good photos, you know?”

“I wouldn’t argue against that,” you laugh. “Surely being the third-wheel photographer has its perks?”

“We’ll see. I’ll definitely take advantage.”

“I’m sure they’ll spoil you somehow,” you say. “And you get to enjoy the landscape and the fresh air and the northern lights. Those are definitely gonna look good in pictures.”

“I’ll make sure to take them, then. And show you,” he smiles. “But yeah, I’m looking forward to a different scenery.”

“Where would you have gone if they didn’t ask you to come?”

“Not sure. Maybe to Brazil with Tae and Seokjin. Or somewhere like Hong Kong; I went there last year on my own. This time is gonna be different.”

“And you’ll have companions. That would be nice.”

“It would. That’s different, too, but I’m sure it will be good.”

You think about Jungkook spending his break on his own in a foreign country, navigating it by himself, meeting people, being left alone in his own thoughts. Maybe an occasional companion for the night. Or every night. Perhaps drinking on a rooftop bar to welcome the new year. But just him and no one else. You wonder how lonely that might feel, and you’re glad that at least this time, he can be around people who truly care about him. 

Jungkook thinks of how else he can keep you longer, knowing he’ll be without you for three weeks which for him, is an extremely long time. 

“Remember to enjoy your time there, okay? Don’t think too much about work,” you pout, knowing he still will.

“___, I’ll be on vacation but I won’t be on a break. You know I’ll still expect updates until next week. I’m gonna go crazy if I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Of course you will,” you tease. “I’ll make sure to keep you posted. I’ll send emails for approvals, maybe call if something urgent comes up.”

“You’re the only one allowed to bother me, about anything. Remember that.”

He says the words with such finality, as if there’s no way for you to resist. You wouldn’t anyway. Other than knowing that you’ll definitely be bugging him for approvals and such, you also would want to know how he’s doing, if he’s enjoying his time away and if he’s getting enough rest. 

“I will,” you assure him. “So, uh. You should head out and get some sleep. It’s gonna be a long flight.”

He nods, knowing that he needs to let you go this time. He decides against offering to take you home - you’ve been insisting that it’s not necessary, and that you’ve been fine with your bus rides to your neighborhood in the evening. He doesn’t want to sound desperate so he finally says goodbye.

He lingers, as he doesn’t move for a good half minute and just stands there by your desk, giving you a look to express things that he can’t ever say. 

“Goodbye, Jungkook. Take care of yourself out there,” you finally say. 

“Goodbye, ___. You do the same. I’ll see you when I get back.”

It’s another few seconds before he manages to start walking away. One last glance then he leaves. And he convinces himself that the sullen look in your eyes means that you’ll be thinking about him while he’s away, the same way he’ll be thinking about you, perhaps while he looks at the sky, knowing it’s the same one you’ll be looking at, and then you wouldn’t feel so far away. 

The time on your watch reads 11:10. The plane should be leaving anytime soon, and you wonder how Jungkook is doing, if he was able to sleep well and eat at the airport lounge. You at least know he got there on time. Mr. Ri arrived some time ago to say that he’s dropped Jungkook off and that he was instructed to take you to work and bring you home until your boss comes back from his vacation. You didn’t argue, knowing that it’s Jungkook’s way of making things convenient for you, given all the responsibilities you have to carry while he’s away. 

But other than that, you don’t know how he’s doing without any update from him. Which is silly for you to even expect. This is a personal trip, after all, and even if the line has somehow blurred after everything that’s happened between you two, you shouldn’t be waiting for some message about him having boarded or something. You’ll maybe just wait for his email asking for updates about his father’s comments on the policies that Jungkook drafted for approval. Or once A-yeong has posted on social media that they’ve landed. 

You shake your head, knowing that liquidating expenses is more important right now than your boss. But then your phone beeps and the smile on your face is immediate.

[From: VP Jeon] The plane arrived late so we just boarded. I’ll get some work done during the flight but I just emailed you an end-of-year message for staff. Can you check if it sounds good? 

[To: VP Jeon] I will, sir. Have a safe flight. 

[From: VP Jeon] Thanks. I’ll let you know when we’ve landed.

Simple and professional, you think, but somehow the thought of him messaging you before takeoff - even if it’s work-related - has you feeling giddy. There’s no desire for more. Just knowing he’s okay and also still thinking of you has you satisfied.

You don’t get to wipe off the smile quick enough for Yoongi not to see, as you hear him clearing his throat, prompting you to look up and see his amused face.  

“I was just checking in to see how you’re coping with your boss away but it seems you’re doing fine,” he starts. “Unless… he’s the reason why you’re smiling.”

Your silence confirms his suspicion, and he merely laughs in response. 

“Yah! You’re supposed to reprimand me,” you pout at him.

“And what would that do?” He challenges. “You’re an adult. ___. You feel what you feel, you do what you do. It’s up to you how you want this to play out.”

“Well, I’ll tell you how it will play out,” you say. “I will continue doing what I’m supposed to do, wait for the Arts Center to open, resign, then never have to see or think about him again. And I’ll be content with that.”

Yoongi doesn’t press or counter you, choosing instead to just agree with your plan and be the supportive friend you need him to be, even if your eventual resignation will make him incredibly sad. 

You’re very particular with the people you let in, with the people you allow to become an important part of your life. He’s lucky he didn’t scare you away for you to distance yourself from him, and though you didn’t return his feelings, he supposes that’s better. He gets to be someone you feel comfortable enough to be with, to be honest with, and that’s more than he can ask for. However you choose to approach whatever it is you’re feeling for Jungkook, his friend who’s just as cautious when it comes to people, Yoongi will just be there like he has all these years. 

“Anyway, is that all you came here for? To know how I was doing?” You ask.

“I sent you the designs and proposals I need Jungkook to go through,” Yoongi responds. “He said to submit them and he’ll review those while he’s there. I wasn’t going to since I want him to actually rest and enjoy his vacation but he’ll be on my ass about it.”

He explains his vision, which you note down so you can articulate it when Jungkook asks. Yoongi leaves you to work on all your tasks, making sure to send you a teasing smile on his way out.

You continue with your day, ending it with an email to your boss about what transpired and the documents he needs to approve. He responds past 1AM the next day during his layover in Amsterdam. Two hours after that, he messages you that they’ve arrived in Denmark and will have dinner before going to bed. 

It’s the day after, on a Friday, when he schedules a video call with you that has you fixing your hair and retouching your lipstick before picking up. He shows up on the screen donned in a white jumper, his unstyled hair making him look cozy and much more boyish than you’re used to. You let yourself be familiarized with the scene, with him seated by a desk with the large window behind him showing clear blue skies and colorful structures. He seems to do the same, as the silence lingers for the next half a minute or so. 

He speaks up first, greeting you and asking how you’ve been. 

“I’m okay, Mr. Jeon. Getting a lot done on the post-event admin work,” you reply. “How about you? You  look refreshed and relaxed. That’s a new sight to see.”

“It’s probably the Copenhagen air,” he says. “It’s gorgeous out here. And the buildings are beautiful. We’re staying at this nice boutique hotel that Hoseok and I explored yesterday. It’s giving us ideas for a serviced apartment with this kind of design. Or maybe villas by the mountains.”

“Oh, talking about work while on vacation, I see,” you shake your head. “I bet A-yeong regrets inviting you to join them.”

“Maybe another day of Hoseok and I just going to hotels and random buildings and she already will,” he laughs. “It’s work but also not. It’s nice to feel inspired by the surroundings. I realized that doesn’t really happen when I’m there.”

“Oh I’m sure. You’re VP Jeon when you’re here and there, you’re just a regular person, a traveler, an architect. As long as you’re getting the rest that you deserve,” you smile. 

“That’s true,” he nods, taking your words in. 

He’s just him while he walks past the canal, while he explores the city and its vibrant structures; he’s just a man in a foreign country who doesn’t have to connect with people, he just has to connect with what’s around him. 

“So, let’s go over your email and the things I need to review and approve,” he continues.

Your hour-long meeting proceeds with approvals and instructions, and he impresses you with how much he’s done despite being on vacation. You suppose he’s still jet lagged and is just taking advantage, but you remind him again that the weekend is coming and you won’t be working, so neither should he. 

“I know, don’t worry,” he assures you. “We’re heading to other towns these next few days before taking the train to Sweden. I’ll have time to work but also to enjoy the scenery.”

“That’s good. I’m glad you’re able to take a break from all the craziness back here,” you say, meaning it. 

He works so hard and you always wonder if he allows himself to breathe, to take a pause so he can look forward to something, and then savor it when it comes.

“Me, too. So when you take your vacation, I expect the same from you, alright?” 

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that, sir,” you laugh. “I am gonna completely shut out once I clock off next Friday. You won’t hear from me until I’m back here.”

“Of course,” he says after a beat of silence. “You deserve a longer break, actually. You know you can always request for an extension.”

“It’s okay. I don’t want to deal with so much backlog,” you respond. “I don’t really have anywhere else to go and people to drag with me. Plus, I’ll have a few days off for my birthday next month so I’ll definitely have more chances for rest.”

Jungkook nods, knowing that time will be bittersweet for him because you’ll get to have your break while he’ll be without you. Just like how it is now, as he’s on this vacation while you’re left to do so much work thousands of miles away from him. It also means he doesn’t get to do his routine with you, something that’s given him comfort and a sense of stability these past months. Seeing you through this call is his only way to remain connected with you, a chance to know how you’re doing, a moment to hear your voice and see the smile he’s been without. It’s just been two days but he already feels it’s much longer.

He finally lets you go, knowing you’ll be clocking out soon. Even if he doesn’t want to yet, he says goodbye. 

As you asked, he savors their second day in the city, but he sees you everywhere - in all the greenery that he passes, in the library down the street, in the cafe with all the pastries that they eat at, and in the sky as he falls asleep at night. There’s comfort in knowing it’s the same one you wake up to every morning.

Not having Jungkook this long is a little disorienting. Sure, he’s been away a few times, but he’d still call or message to ask something or to give you instructions. It’s become your habit to bring him coffee every few hours, and you find yourself making one only to realize that he isn’t around. 

Seeing him in A-yeong’s social media feels quite intrusive, but you couldn’t help but watch her Instagram stories, with him in a green fleece jumper as he walked down charming streets last Saturday, and then a black coat over a blue sweatshirt as he strolled the beachside on Sunday. He called the day before, on Tuesday afternoon, for your regular check-in, another hour of talking about work, even if all you wanna hear about is how his days have been. You’ve never thought about it as much before, but somehow seeing him in this way makes you care, it makes you want to know what he’s feeling, what he’s thinking.

You shake away the thoughts as Wednesday ends. It’s been a week since he left and there’s over two more weeks until he’s back. You’ll have another call on Friday and there won’t be another one until you return from your own vacation, and the thought saddens you, knowing there won’t be a reason for either of you to reach out.

But you take it as a challenge, as a way for you to slowly get him out of your system. Hopefully being without him for a while will help.

Friday comes and the call with Jungkook goes a little longer than usual. It’s towards the end when Hoseok and A-yeong make an appearance, as they’re all staying at a rental by the lake in a town in Sweden, and are about to have their breakfast.

“___!” Hoseok chirps. “Is my cousin still working you to the bone?”

“Asks the man who has hours-long meetings with his assistant every other day. If I may say, Hoseok, you’re driving Bitna crazy. I think I just saw her earlier pulling her hair out,” you tease.

“Ah, I don’t blame her. There’s just too much going on,” he sighs. “But at least I’m off her back now. It’s your last day before your break, you shouldn’t even be working right now! You should just be hanging out with the team before you all go out for dinner!”

“Like you said, there’s just too much going on,” you counter. 

“These men never stop working, do they?” A-yeong huffs from next to her husband, prompting you to nod in agreement. She turns to Jungkook with her arms on her waist. “I’m telling you now, Kook, how are you gonna find a girlfriend when all you do is work, work, party, work, party, and work? Hmm?”

Jungkook chuckles, his hand behind his neck as he tries to give an answer. You can imagine A-yeong hampering him about this, given that she’s quite the proponent when it comes to companionship. It’s why she’s always patient with Hoseok, and why they love each other as much as they do. There’s understanding and respect, there’s trust and honesty. She’s not afraid to tell him when she feels neglected, and he makes up for it immediately.

“I’ll find her when I’m meant to,” Jungkook responds. “But anyway, I was just about to let ___ go.”

“Finally,” Hoseok says. Turning to you, he gives you that warm smile that you adore. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure he doesn’t bug you during your break.”

“Good,” you respond, even if the thought saddens you a little. “Anyway, it looks so pretty out there. I’m so glad you’re all enjoying it.”

“It is! And the sights are spectacular, ___. It’s definitely a must-visit,” Hoseok replies. 

“One day,” you say, knowing it’ll probably never happen. Still, you indulge him. “I’ll settle with pictures for now, so you better take lots of them for me to see.”

“Ah, Kook is the resident photographer! He’s been taking a lot so he’ll show you.”

“That would be nice,” you smile. “Anyway, I don’t want to keep you from enjoying your day. So I’ll go ahead. I’ll see you all when you get back!”

They bid you goodbye, and there’s that nod again, that smile, that softness that you’ve started getting used to seeing on Jungkook. It’s what you think about during the team dinner an hour later, while in the car going home as soft music plays, and as you fall asleep.

You hold onto that last image of him, until the next day when A-yeong posts on her socials again. It’s those snippets of his life that make you pause during the day and keep you up at night. There’s so much about him that you’re drawn to, that you want to get to know, that you want to protect. 

He’s like a movie that plays in the local theater - captivating, intriguing, yet you remain a spectator and then it ends, moving on and you’ve only got the memory of it etched in your mind. It’s not yours to watch whenever you want and no matter how much you try to analyze it, it’ll always just be your interpretation, not his. He’ll remain as a moving image that you want so much to capture but seems too big, too overwhelming, too far. 

But there are instances when you think you’ve got him for a second, that you understand him a little. There are moments like arriving at his penthouse the morning after he gets back from his trip with his mussed hair and oversized jumper that he feels more human, more flawed, more tangible. 

It’s when he smiles at you and says that it’s nice to see you again that he feels within reach. It’s also the moment you realize that him being away didn’t really help. If anything, it intensified that feeling that you know you can’t have. You’re gonna lose him one day, and when you do, you hope for only the good memories to stay. 

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[lnfours]

tis the damn season | l.n

summary: happy december! you know what that means, time for holiday parties with rich families and a run in with a certain someone.

warnings: ex bf!lando, rich kid!female!reader, a bit of second chance romance, light drinking, language, a little bit of awkwardness but mostly not so secret pining after not seeing each other for so long, fluff (this is kinda bad and not proofread so enter at ur own risk)

masterlist | ask box | listen

⋆꙳•❅*• •*❆ ₊⋆

it was finally time for the annual holiday party your family threw every year, or the ‘event of the year’ as everyone else called it. the christmas tree was up in the foyer, the smell of gingerbread and snickerdoodles lingering around from the cookies your mom had picked up from the bakery down town.

plenty of people had already arrived when you descended down the stairs, smiling as you passed by familiar faces, unsure on names to say hello to them. you locked eyes with your mother, who smiled and waved you over.

“y/n! there you are! come say hi!”

you said polite ‘excuse me’s to the people blocking your path before you joined your mother at her side. your heart slightly dropped at the familiar faces of who your mother was talking to, but you put on your best fake smile.

“y/n, love! how’re you?!” cisca smiled, pulling you into a short hug. you hugged her back and nodded.

“i’m good,” you gave the man next to her, her husband adam, a quick hug as he pulled you in also, “how’re you guys?”

“we’re good, flo and lando are around here somewhere,” she smiled, “unfortunately oliver and savannah couldn’t make it.”

you nodded, “well, i’ll be sure to find them and say hi. say hi to oliver and savannah for me.”

“we will!”

you bid a ‘see you soon’ to the three, making your way back to the party, making sure to grab a glass of champagne from one of the waiters walking around the house. it didn’t take long for a squeal to catch your attention, the girl walking quickly towards you. you laughed as she pulled you into a hug.

“y/n! it’s been so long!” flo squealed happily, smile still bright as she pulled away from you, “how’re you?! how’s university? any cute boys?”

you smiled, eyes traveling to the brunette who was approaching flo, a smile on his face as he politely pushed through the crowd. your brain didn’t even fully register what she had asked you, your eyes meeting his.

he had gotten prettier since the last time you saw him, his hair curlier and fluffier and he had started growing his facial hair. he was dressed in a suit, one that made him look way too good for your liking.

you raised your eyebrows, attention fixing back to the girl in front of you who wore a smile, a knowing one at that, “good! how’re things with you?”

“flo, i thought we were sticking together-“

his sentence was cut off as he finally approached the two of you. his eyes on you, the way your hair was falling and the dress you wore and how the straps hung loosely off your shoulders, the way it was designed to do.

“sorry,” his sister mumbled back to him, “look who i found!”

lando didn’t tear his eyes from yours, “yeah, uhm, hi..?”

his greeting hung in the air like a question and you smiled softly, sending him a tight lipped smile, “hey,”

the younger girl looked back and forth between her brother and the girl she knew he had been in love with since you were kids. of course, she knew about the breakup that had occurred a few months back, but she was determined that the two of you were soulmates.

and it was time for her to work her magic, turning to her older brother, “i’ll leave you two to catch up, gonna go find mum.”

lando opened his mouth to speak but closed it when he watched her quickly split from the pair. you chuckled softly, taking a sip from your glass, watching him nervously scratch the back of his neck.

“so, um-“

“how’re you?”

the two of you had started at the same time, stopping when you realized you were talking over each other. you both let out a soft laugh.

“you first,” he said.

you breathed in, “so, how’re you?”

he nodded, “good, good. how’re you? your mum said you should be done with university soon?”

you nodded, “yeah, hopefully this is my last semester. uhm, how’s racing? saw you got a couple podiums recently.”

“yeah, no, it’s been good,” he said, “obviously, we’re on holiday right now so just trying to figure out what to do with my free time.”

you nodded, “i’m sure you’ll figure something out, or max will,”

he chuckled, “yeah, i suppose you’re right,” his eyes looked over you again, “you look good. gorgeous, actually.”

you could tell he was nervous and you felt your stomach turn into knots as you looked down to the floor to hide the way your cheeks were reddening.

“thanks,” you said, “you do too. see you can finally grow facial hair.”

you both let out giggles as he rolled his eyes playfully, “alright,”

“well done, truly,” you teased again as the two of you continued laughing. he shook his head, his hands stuffed into his pockets.

you had forgotten how it felt to have him around. how giddy he made you and how he made you feel, and now it was coming back in waves. you weren’t sure if it was because it was the first time seeing him since the breakup or if it was because it was him.

the night progressed and he told you stories about how it had been for him traveling the world and you told him stories about your professors at university.

“wanna get some air?” you asked, thumb pointing to the door to the balcony outside. he nodded, following your lead as you led the two of you through the crowd. once out on the balcony, you leaned against the cement wall as he closed the door.

you looked out to the darkness contrasted against the bright christmas lights lighting up the neighborhood. he joined you, resting his arms against the cement, subtly looking over at you through his peripheral vision.

he didn’t miss the way you shivered, the cold air making your skin cold. he looked over at you now, “‘re you cold?”

you shook your head, “nah, i’m okay-“

“no, i know you hate the cold,” he said, shrugging off the jacket to his suit, you standing up straight now as he motioned for you to step closer. he wrapped the jacket around your shoulders, engulfing you with his cologne and the warmth from his body. your eyes met his again and you looked up at him with a soft smile, “warm?”

you nodded, “thank you,”

“‘course.” he said.

the silence fell between the two of you again before he broke it, “do you, uhm, ever think about… us?”

you looked back over at the boy next to you, “‘us’?”

he nodded, “yeah, like why we ended? y’know, things like that,”

you let out a breath, “i do, yeah,” you said, “do you?”

he licked his lips nervously, looking back at the lights, “all the time.”

you gave him a soft expression as he turned back to you, “lando,”

“no, i know,” he said, leaning back up as he huffed softly, “i just, i don’t know. i don’t know why we ended things, why i let you get away, y’know? i mean, you were it for me for my whole life, and i fucked it up.”

you shook your head, “no you didn’t,”

“well, i didn’t try,” he said, looking back at you now with a guilty expression, “you deserved better than that.”

“i mean, you were it for me too,” you confessed, “you still are.”

his expression changed, stepping a bit closer to you, “i’m sorry-“

“don’t, it’s okay,” you said, “you’re a busy man.”

“i should’ve made more time for you.”

you shook your head, “i didn’t really make an effort either, it’s okay.”

he reached out nervously, tucking a strand of hair from your face to behind your ear. you leaned into his warm touch, your cheek cold from the soft wind blowing in the winter air.

“can i get a redo?”

you smiled, “only if i do too.”

he chuckled, “you can have anything you want.”

you raised an eyebrow, “anything?”

he hummed, “anything, i mean it.”

you smiled, “if that’s the case, then i want you.”

his smile was contagious, a soft chuckle pushing past his lips before he responded, “i suppose i can make that work.”

you laughed, reaching and slipping his hand into yours. he squeezed it lightly, just like he used to. you leaned into him, his hand that you weren’t holding onto moving to pull you closer to him by your waist. you stood there for a minute, your head resting against his chest as you listened to the fast beat of his heart.

you moved your head, looking up at him as he smiled down at you, letting go of your hand to cup your cheek again, thumb brushing against the skin gently before you spoke, “can we go inside?”

“god, yes please,” he breathed, “it’s fucking freezing.”

you chuckled, leaning away from him, “you could’ve had your jacket back.”

he shook his head, “‘s alright.”

as he went to open the door for you, he spotted the familiar little flower hanging from the doorway. you noticed his pause, looking to where his line of vision was going.

“mistletoe.” you laughed softly.

he smiled, pulling you over to him, “c’mere,”

you joined him under the doorway, the plant hanging above both your heads as he leaned down, his hand back on your cheek. his lips brushed against yours as the two of you breathed.

“are you going to kiss me or not?” you smiled.

he shook his head playfully, “now i’m really thinking against it.”

“just shut up,” you mumbled, pulling him down to your level by his shirt as you collided your lips together. his kisses were exactly how you remembered them, soft and full of every emotion he could possibly squeeze into them. his hand on your cheek as the other found its home on your hip. your hands wrapped around his neck, nails tangling into the curls at the nape of his neck.

you both pulled away, giggling softly as you matched each others smile.

“merry christmas, lando.”

he nudged his nose with yours, leaning in for another kiss after, “merry christmas, y/n.”

[erisvansserra]

Follow You

Fenrys x Reader x Azriel

Summery: 30 years ago, Y/N fell through a portal and woke up in Prythian naked an afraid. She counted herself lucky that she was found by the shadowsinger and his high lord, who took her in and gave her a home. Despite their hospitality she dreamed of her home and the mate she left behind, Fenrys, who searched for her until one day.. he finds her.

A/N: OMG thank you for all the love I've received for this fic!! I literally did not expect it and I'm so happy you all like it! You can read part 1 here.

You awake in the middle of the night and turn in bed to reach for Azriel, your hand skimming the covers in search for his warmth. When you feel nothing but cold sheets you open your eyes and look to where he should be, nothing. As you begin to wake from the early morning brain fog you realise you're in the townhouse, your friends had returned, and you were going home.

......

Hours later you're sitting in the living room with Rowan and Aelin, their presence and laughter bringing you such comfort, for the first time in 30 years you feel truely at home. Aelin was in the middle of telling you about Lysandra and Aedions wedding when the inner circle walked through the front door. Your eyes met Azriels the moment he walked through the entry way, his face a mask of indifference that made you feel uneasy. You stood from your seat on the couch, unsure if you should make the steps toward him, seek the comfort in his touch.

"Hi" you say in a soft voice, the world dripping away like melting ice as you and the shadowsinger stare at each other "Hi" he responds in a voice just as soft. His smooth voice encases your body in goosebumps, his hazel eyes took a quick sweep of your body checking for any injuries making you smile slightly. "Can you two stop being so.. weird and hug?" Cassian's loud voice breaks through the tension, making your smile grow and a blush spread on your cheeks. Azriel smiles as well and makes his way over to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as he presses a kiss to the top of your head. You feel a new type of tension enter the room as Rowan and Aelin stiffen from their spots on the couch. "What's this?" Aelin asks, her posture changing from casual comfort to regal royal with the snap of her spine. You feel that stomach twisting guilt begin to suck you in again as you look between your friends. "She's my partner” Azriel answers with a slight growl as he brings you closer to his chest, tucking you in under his chin protectively. Aelin goes to open her mouth bur Rhysand raises his hand to interject "may I show you something?" he asks. Rowan and Aelin look at each other cautiously before nodding, slowly Rhysand uses his powers to enter their minds and shows them what happened that night they found you in the wood.

30 Years Ago

You fell from the sky, the limbs of trees smacking your naked body as you crashed to the cool ground. You screamed in pain as your plumet reached its end, hitting the ground so hard you swore the earth shook. With a broken arm that you cradled with care you began walking around the unfamillar woods, the air smelt different here, your keen eye sight couldn't pick up on anything that reminded you of home. You walked for about 15 minutes before a winged male landed before you. You yelped and began running in the other direction, your legs full of scratches that burnt and bled as your legs pumped under you. Before you got the chance to escape another winged male landed and put a knife to your throat. You whimpered and fell to your knees before him, your broken arm still pressed to your chest as you quickly submitted to the winged male. You felt the tip of his knife under your chin, slowly he lifted your face to his, all you could see in the darkness was those light hazel eyes. "Who are you?" he asked, his voice as harsh as the ground you kneeled upon "y/n" you answered. The male from earlier now stood behind you, their weapons within reach if they needed it.

The memory changed, a new memory coming to view.

It had been 18 months since the night court took you in, tried to give you a home, tried to replace what you lost. Azriel was at your door, a fresh bowl of soup in his hand as he knocked and waited for you to answer. After a few moments he let himself in, you were in bed, depression had taken its toll on you. Your hair was knotted, your skin blanched and dry, your eyes red and puffy from the lack of sleep. Azriel tried to get you to talk, but all you could mutter was his name "fenrys" over and over again. .

The memory moved forward again. You sat in the grass 6 years ago, your skin starting to give a healthy glow and your hair long and healthy. Azriel watched you as you shook your hair out of your face and laid in the grass, sweeping your hands over the blades as you took in the sweet spring air.

He approached you, his boots flanking either side of your head as he peered down to look into your eyes.

“Shouldn’t you be training with Cassian?” He asks, crossing his arms over his chest. With a click of your tongue you answer “I don’t want to train today, I want to enjoy the first day of spring”. A small smile threatens to creep along his face as he nods, considering your statement.

“Well” he starts, turning his head to look out towards the house of wind, like he could see Cassian sitting there still waiting for you to turn up .“What would you rather do today? If not train” he finishes, his eyes sweeping over to you once more.

You inched your head slightly closer to his left boot, cocking your head as you looked up at him. The sun cast his face in shadow, making his features look sharper and his warm eyes glow ever so slightly.

“Maybe I could do some spy work with you?” You ask, his eyebrows jump up in surprise.

“Really?” He says with a warm chuckle that sends a shiver down your spine “I’ve been here 24 years and never left this court, I’d like to see more of this world” you answer. His face drops slightly at your words, his brother has been locked under the mountain for some time now, prythian was no longer safe. He couldn’t risk losing someone else he.. cared for, not now, not ever. But when he looked at you, saw the hope in your eyes and watched as you held your breath, something in his chest cracked.

“Okay, you can come with me to the edge of our court” he relents but smiles as he watches you beam up at him.

Neither of you knew it, but this was the first stepping stone towards your relationship now. Love slowly blossomed between you in the following year, but he knew deep down you still loved your mate and that was something he was willing to live with if it meant he could spend the rest of his life with you.

Present day

Aelin and Rowan jumped back in their seats as Rhysand left their minds “what the hell was that?!” Aelin shouted, her hands coming to cup each temple of her head.

Rhysand took a moment to explain and apologise for his power, that he was showing them Azriel memories in hopes it can better illustrate your situation. You stepped away from Azriel and walked over to Rowan, kneeling before your cousin you took his large hand in yours.

“I mourned Fenrys for 25 years cousin, I still mourn the loss of him now…” you say as Rowans emerald eyes flick to yours, his mind still reeling from Rhys power.

“I know you of all people would understand the guilt I feel, Rowan, please do not pass judgement too harshly on me” you continue, your voice threatening to convey the very guilt you feel as it tremors slightly. Rowans eyes soften at your words, he doesn’t look towards Aelin as his hand tightens around your own. He gives you a small nod in understanding, his eyes flicking between your own, the pressure lifting from your chest slightly.

Releasing a shuddering breath you rise in front of him and look towards Aelin, you know her and Fenrys are close, you knew it was her judgement that would affect your standing in court. Her eyes pierced you in your place, not a friend but a queen sat before you now. her eyes rake up and down your body before she says “Fenrys has been in his animal form the last 30 years searching for you”.

“Show me” you say looking to Rhysand, his expression unreadable as his eyes shift to Aelin, she nods in acceptance and you feel Rhys power enter your mind.

You see a white wolf, from Aelins POV. It laps at the lake you swam in in your dream, its fur greying and matted in some places. Her eyes skim over its emaciated body, ribs poking out from under its skin.

“You have to eat Fen” you hear Aelin coo to the wolf, it doesn’t even look at her before it plods off in the opposite direction, off to continue its search.

Rhysands power leaves you again, you feel the bile racing up your throat as you turn and sprint through the inner circle to make it outside where you throw up over the balcony railing. Azriel sighs and leaves to comfort you as he always has.

Back in the living room of the town house Rowan shoots Aelin with a glare, clearly upset she chose that memory of Fenrys instead of one where he looked a little less disheveled. “How often does she react like this?” Rowan asks the group as he stands from his seat.

“When she first arrived it was everyday, now it’s… every other day” Cassian answers looking over his shoulder to where you stand beside Azriel as he rubs soothing circles on your back. “I know she is mated to your friend, I know you want to protect him” he continues, his voice soft as he looks back at Rowan. “But she does grieve him, do not think that because she has found Azriel she has forgotten her mate”.

Rowan looks out to you now, his chest threatening to concave on itself as he sees you, his cousin and best friend lost in a fit of grief. He places a hand on Cassians shoulder as he walks past him to the balcony where you and Az whisper to each other. At his arrival you look over your shoulder, your eyes red and puffy from the tears that you’ve shed.

“When was the last time you shifted, cousin?” He asks as he places a hand on your shoulder. “Rowan I-“ you begin but his warm share cuts you off, you sigh before you answer him again “I haven’t shifted since I’ve been here”

Rowan hums in response, then lightly pats you back, he walks around you and the shadowsinger, down the garden steps and waits at the bottom.

“Come on y/n let’s have some fun” Rowan says as he shifts into a hawk. Azriel looks to you in disbelief, he takes a few steps away as the rest of the inner circle make their way outside to investigate the bright light they saw when Rowan shifted. You look at each of their faces, then back to the bird that flies impatiently around the townhouse.

“What animal do you think is faster?” Aelin asks no one in particular as she joins the rest of the house. The inner circle look to her as you decent the balcony and give your body a quick shake as you prepare to shift. A bright light engulfs the garden again as your body bends and transforms into a black panther, your sleek body and coat shine in the sun, you move your paws along the grass feeling the earth beneath you.

Looking over your shoulder your eyes meet Azriels who stares in disbelief, but in this moment you don’t care about anything but the primal call in your heart. The call to run, to hunt, to stalk. The hawk swoops from above you, its sharp talons clipping your ear warning a growl from deep in your feline belly. As the hawk shrills in warning you take off, running away from the townhouse and down the streets of velaris.

A/n: sorry If this chapter seemed super jumpy, I wanted to give more back story to Azriel and y/n while also capturing Aelin and Rowans discomfort. I hope you liked it!!

[appleblueberry-pie]

Im back with another yandere satoru request hehehe

So, I was wondereding what would happen if Satoru's beloved found out about his very unhealthy obession with her?

Hold on, lemme cook rq- So, instead of getting the fuck away from him (like most logical people would do) she decides to try her best to get him some help. Like, she'd confront him about his very distirbing behavior, (basically tearing down his entire facade and presenting it to him) and when he's begging her not to be afraid of him, not to abandon him, she tells him that she wants him to get help.

Heres where I kinda got a little stuck....the thing is...he would listen to her every beck and call, but would he really get the help he needs, or would he decieve her and trick her into beliving that he's getting better when in realitly he hasn't changed at all. (He's just alot more careful about what he does behind her back.)

Mkayyy, thats all folks. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

You kept hearing noises from your backyard.

It woke you up. You couldn't really recognize what it was, but you really hoped it wasn't raccoons eating your berries again. You admit, your garden has many fruits and vegetables, but you certainly didn't want them being eaten. They took too long to grow! So, you got out of bed, threw on your robe over your night gown and quickly made your way downstairs to your backdoor.

When you opened the door and stepped onto the grass, everything seemed fine. Your strawberries were intact. Carrots still growing. No lemons dropped from the tree. But to the far right, you did see a familiar figure continuously puncturing another man's insides with a pretty dangerous looking knife thing.

Someone was in your yard.

Someone was being killed in your yard.

You're within distance of a killer.

By the time the realization set in, the familiar looking man had already saw you staring at him. It was Satoru Gojo.

You both stared at each other. It grew painfully silent and you took a step back, your eyebrows furrowing. You began hearing your heartbeat in your ears and began breathing faster. Your lips separated, probably to scream, and Satoru dropped the knife, immediately running over to you to shut you up in time.

When he trapped you in his arms, you tried to scream in surprise, but he already had one of his hands covering the entire bottom half of your face. "SHHHHHHHhhhhhh. shhhhhhhh. shhhhhh." His heartbeat thumped against your upper back and you tried to look up at him. He was already staring down at you with those big blue eyes and you tried to take his hand off of your mouth. "It's okay, baby. You're alright. It's alright."

Well, he didn't kill you, so clearly you didn't have to be scared. You still tried to talk and he tilted his head. "......you gonna scream if I let you go?" You shook your head. He stared down at you, as if he was trying to catch you in a lie. But then he laughed and finally loosened his hold on you. You took his hand off of your mouth and turned around. "...............Why are you killing someone in my yard?"

He says nothing.

You try to look back at the corpse and he blocks your way. "Fertilizer."

You avert your gaze and hug yourself. "For your tree."

"I already fertilized it two weeks ago. You were there. It doesn't need fertilizer until like a few months later." Satoru goes silent and sighs.

"Alright, babe. You caught me." He stalks closer to you and stops when he's directly in front of you.

"I killed him because he was a terrible waste of space." His smile was unnerving and you only felt more uncomfortable and confused. "What....?" "....He was useless. And he got in the way." The way he spoke made things a little awkward between the two of you. Did this have something to do with you and him? You hoped not. But with the way he said it, and the way he was staring at you began giving you confirmation that this was the case.

"He doesn't deserve you like I do." You inhale sharply and take a step back towards your door. "Satoru-" "No, I'm serious."

"You can't just....kill someone. He's dead!" His shoulders shake as he laughs at your statement. "You think I don't know that? That's the whole point. To die." You shake your head, "I-I need to get you help. This isn't okay. You shouldn't think it's okay to kill someone just to....I don't even know."

"To have you," He states. But you didn't hear. You were already back in the house to research different forms of treatment he could possibly receive. You didn't know what you were going to do with the body.

Satoru did plan to use it as fertilizer.

He lied to you for 12 weeks. And he hated every second of it. He never liked hiding shit from you. Which is why he straight up told you that he killed that dumbass from a while ago. You deserve better than some liar. But he'd be damned if he let some random take you away from him. So, he told you that he was going to the therapist that he been paid off and also killed.

He told you the body was taken care of and you didn't have to worry about it. After all, your tree leaves looked perkier than usual(he didn't tell you that either).

When you heard he was consistently meeting with his therapist, you let him take you out more often. You let him hang out at your place to have sleepovers if you had the time, and you realized that you might have a small crush on him. You shouldn't have a crush on a killer, but here you were. You should've called the police on him a long time ago(not like he'd get rid of them either), but he promised you he'd be good. And he has been. So you trust him.

Satoru learned to stop doing things like being a killer when you're around. It was smart to do it at night. But definitely not where you live. Probably the stupidest thing he's ever done. He should buy that house a few towns off. Everyone would be better off dying in there anyways, especially if there'd be no trace of them in the first place.

He's lucky you're gullible.

[iluvmattsbeard]

lost time (m.s)

master list

matt sturniolo x reader

warnings: nothing!

preview: your parents and the triplets parents have been best friends ever since before you guys were even born. you were sort of forced to grow up with the triplets. you and Matt were the closest. you two were hard to separate. but as you got to high school, you sort of fell off wanting to go do your own things. now as adults, you guys reunite and decide to make up for lost time.

a/n: i’ve been having so much inspo to write. you guys are keeping me motivated! i really appreciate it. listen to the song while reading, it really sets the scene. i encourage this with every imagine i write! LIKES AND REBLOGS ARE VERY APPRECIATED!

"Y/n!" you hear your mother shout out from excitement as she runs over to you. you put down your luggage before embracing her in a hug, "hi mom! I missed you so much." you say rubbing her back. "I missed you more Y/n!" she says pulling away, giving your dad a chance to greet you. you haven't seen them in months. you were currently living in New York after you finished high school. you always wanted to live in the big city. you were grateful for the opportunity you received. you were majoring in the Arts. it was something you always wanted to do, but being apart from your family in Boston was the hardest thing you've had to go through.

"let's get inside. we have something to tell you." your mom says with a smile. you nod as you grab your luggage but, your dad ends up taking it from your hands. "dad I got it." you say letting out a soft laugh. "no you're our guest." he says letting out a chuckle. you three walk inside the house and you take off your coat. it was currently winter time. that was the reason why you were back home. it was December 20th, five days before Christmas. you were home for the holidays. you hang your coat on the rack and take off your shoes. you walk around analyzing everything. it was still the same, except for the fact that it was decorated for Christmas. you head towards the Christmas tree as you reach out for an ornament that had your elementary school picture in it. "did you really have to add this?" you ask with a soft laugh. "it was too cute not to add sweetie!" your mom says handing you a mug of her homemade hot chocolate.

"thank you mom." you say taking it. "so, what was it you needed to tell me?" you ask taking a sip. "Marylou, Jimmy, and their boys are coming to spend the holidays with us!" you almost choke at your mother's words. "they're back in Boston?" you ask with an awkward smile. last time you seen the triplets, it wasn't quite the ideal farewell. at least with Matt it wasn't. you still talk to Nick from time to time, Chris would like your social media posts, and Matt? well, nothing was happening between the two of you. not ever since high school at least. "yeah! the boys still live with them. I think they're like entrepreneurs or something. Marylou tried explaining it to me but I didn't quite understand." your mom says. "they'll be staying here with us until after Christmas." she adds on. your eyes widen a bit, "oh? you failed to mention this before I got here?" you say with a nervous laughter. "well, I know it isn't ideal for you. I know you and Matt didn't quite leave off on a good note." she says.

-FLASHBACK-

"so what? you meet a whole new group of people that you decide not to spend any more time with me?" you say standing there with your arms crossed. "y/n, we were always together. we're older now. we don't have to be with each other every single time." Matt says frustrated. you scoff before responding, "so you're telling me you want to stop being friends?" he shakes his head, "that's not what I said. all I said was, maybe now we can just do our own things." he says. "well that's not what you've been doing. you've shut me out completely." you say with a hurt expression. "maybe because everything has changed Y/n. you know I don't hang around your crowd." he says catching you off guard. "so just because you gained popularity, apparently my 'crowd' isn't your ideal group of people?" you scoff before continuing on, "yeah maybe everything has changed. you changed." you walk away from him leaving him in silence.

-END OF FLASHBACK-

"they'll be here any minute." your mom says adjusting the centerpiece on the coffee table. you felt like your heart was going to jump out of your chest. you took constant sips from the warm mug as you sit down on the couch and wait. "you guys are adults now. you will figure it out." your mom says rubbing your arm. you didn't hold a grudge against Matt but, you still felt a sort of somber from the thought of what last happened. you suddenly hear a car pull up in front of your house. "they're here!" your mother says quickly getting up to rush over to the door. you stand up placing your mug on a coaster on the table before dusting off your corduroy pants due to your nervousness. "April!" you hear the familiar voice exclaim your mother's name. "Marylou!" she responds, happily embracing her in a hug. "is she here?" Marylou whispers to her. "yes she is! she's inside." your mother says before looking at the triplets boys. "Nick, Matt, and Chris!" she exclaims. "you boys are so grown up!" the boys smile with them shortly after embracing your mother individually in a hug. "hello Tyler!" Jimmy says greeting your dad, they end up doing a handshake.

after they all greeted each other, they finally headed inside carrying all their bags. you turn around swiftly as you see Marylou gasp from excitement, "my baby girl!" she says running up to you, hugging you. "hi Marylou, how have you been?" you say hugging back with a smile. "amazing now!" she pulls away looking at your mother, "April she looks just like you when you were in college." she adds on. you let out a soft laugh before turning towards the boys. Nick and Chris greet you with a hug before having a little small talk. Matt greeted you with a small 'hello' and awkward smile, which you did as well.

"i'm so excited for Christmas! it'll just be like the old days!" Marylou exclaims. "I brought the album book with photos of every Christmas we've celebrated!" "pull them out!" your mother says putting her hands together happily. now, you were all gathered around the couch as Marylou flips through the album book. "look how chubby your cheeks were Y/n." your dad points out with a chuckle. you felt your cheeks turn red from the comment as everyone laughs. "if only time would slow down." you hear your mother say. "I know. we're getting old!" Jimmy adds on. Marylou continues to flip through the book before landing on a photo of you and Matt smiling as little kids with missing teeth. you were both in matching Christmas sweaters as your head rested on his shoulder. "this is my favorite." Marylou says with a smile. you felt your heart ache from the sight of the photo. "you guys were so small!" your mom exclaims smiling. "yeah. now everything has changed." you blurt out with a fake smile. Matt turns his head towards you, shifting uncomfortably in his stance from the familiar words that came out your mouth.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

you guys just had finished eating dinner. “that was amazing April.” Jimmy says wiping his mouth. “very delicious honey.” your dad says rubbing his stomach. everyone thanks your mother as she smiles, “my pleasure everyone!” she says cheerfully. you decided to help your mother clean up the table. the triplets were lead to the rooms they’ll be staying in for the next days by your father. Marylou and Jimmy were settling into their room.

“Y/n, get out of this kitchen.” your mother says pushing you away playfully. “mom let me help you.” you say trying to stop her. “no Y/n! this is your break. go relax or something.” she says still pushing you away. “you’re really not going to let me help?” you ask letting out a small laugh. “no! now go!” she says smiling. you shake your head with a smile before walking away. you head up the stairs, walking into your childhood bedroom. you look around at the pastel pink wallpaper as you let a small smile appear on your face. you were reminiscing over all the memories that you had in here. you were glad to be home. you then hear a slight knock at your door as you turn around to see Matt. “hi” he says. “hey”. you reply.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

it was the next day, the mothers had plans to do some holiday baking while the dads just sat around and watched TV. Nick and Chris were out catching up with old friends as Matt stayed at the house. “Matt! Y/n! join us!” you hear your mom say happily. you walk to the kitchen as you see materials and ingredients laid out on the island table. Matt was on the opposite side of the island from you. “we’re going to bake gingerbread cookies!” Marylou says handing you and Matt aprons. you tie your hair back in a ponytail as you respond, “yummy”.

as you guys started it off, Marylou and your mother left it up to you and Matt to handle the cookies while they started to prepare this upcoming dinner. you were mixing the batter as you ask Matt to pour some flour on to the table. as he does so, you both took dough into your hands as you both talked. “i hope these turn out right.” you say. “me too.” Matt says with a smile. you guys just caught up talking about college as he talked about his career he started with his brothers. it felt nice to talk to him again. the conversation stops as he looks at your face, “wait hold on. you have a little something right here.” he says putting flour on your nose.

your mouth went slightly open from his actions as you let out a small scoff which turned into a smile. “oh really? because i think you have something on your whole face.” you say placing your floured hands on his face, rubbing it in. you pull away and start laughing, “oh you’re going to regret that.” Matt says with a grin, picking up more flour as he chases you around the kitchen. you shriek as you try to get away from him but he soon grabs you from behind, wrapping his arms around you as he rubs the flour all over your face.

“Matthew!” you exclaim. Marylou taps your mother trying to make her look at the scene that took place. “look April.” she whispers. your mother looks up and smiles. “guys! you’re making a mess!” your mother says laughing. your smile soon drifts away as you realize what was happening. you step away from Matt as you take off your apron heading straight upstairs. Matt just stood there feeling awkward.

later in the day, Matt knocks on your door anxiously. "come in." you shout out from behind the door. he opens the door stepping inside. you look at him before speaking, "what's up?" you ask sitting on your bed. you could tell he was hesitating to speak, "I think we should discuss about where we left off from the last time we've seen each other." he says sitting down next to you. "what's there to talk about? you made it very clear that you didn't want to be surrounded by me anymore." you say. "that's not true Y/n. at the time, I just felt like we were always together. I felt terrible for what I said. our friendship was great and I let it go stupidly." he says letting out a small breath.

all you do is avoid eye contact before he speaks up again, "can I make it up to you?" you look at him as you respond, "how?" “well i want to know you better now. you know, figure out what you’ve been doing ever since we fell off.” he says. you just look at him with a blank stare, “i don’t know about that.” you say.

“okay then let’s see…” he says looking at the time on his phone and smiles, "come on." he says standing up. "what? where are we going?" you ask confused. "just come on. put on a sweater." he says walking out your room. after a bit, you meet him outside as he stands there with his hands in his pockets. "Matt where are we going?" you ask putting your hands in your pockets. the snow fall was light, but the ground was coated white from earlier. he starts to walk as you follow quickly behind. "you'll see!" he exclaims. after a while, you guys were now standing at the park you use to go to as kids. "why are we here?" you ask smiling softly. "well, remember our snow days?" he asks. "of course I do. while Nick and Chris attacked each other with snowballs, you helped me build snowmen." you reply. "yeah. i'm glad you remember." he says crouching down bunching up the snow. "we're going to build a snowman." he adds on with a smile.

"this is how you're going to make it up to me?" you say crouching with him. he looks at you as he speaks, "to make up for the times we missed building a snowman." you look into his eyes for a bit before letting out a small laugh. you guys then continued to build a snowman. “it’s head is as big as yours.” you say laughing. Matt’s mouth opens slightly as he responds, “that’s so mean.” you both laugh and eventually after laid in the snow looking up at the starry sky.

“what are we going to name him?” you ask. Matt hums while he thinks before he thinks of the perfect name, “Louis.” you turn to face him as you hear the familiar name. Louis was the name of your childhood stuffed animal that you had matching with the triplets. “you remember Louis?” you ask. “of course i do. i still have his sibling.” he says which causes you to let out a small chuckle.

"I missed this." you hear him whisper. you stay silent as you thought to yourself. where was this effort back then? as much as you missed it too, you still couldn't forget. you sit up, "we should go before it gets any later." you say before getting up and walking away.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

you were out sitting on the porch drinking hot chocolate as you had thoughts. should Matt be given another chance? he had you where he wanted you before until he made it disappear. why now does he want to fix things? your thoughts were interrupted when you feel a figure sit next to you. you turn to see who it is to find out it's Matt. "can I still prove to you I want to make up for lost time?" he says quietly. you could tell he was genuine. "okay how now?" you ask. he gets up with a smile as he asks you to follow him. he gets in the car as you join him in the passenger seat. "where are we going?" you ask putting on your seat belt. "some place special." he says as he drives off to the location. you look out the window as you see familiar scenery. you fix your posture as you try to hide a smile, "don't tell me we're doing what I think we're doing." he parks the car and smiles, "come on let's go." he says getting out the car.

he opens the trunk to reveal the famous sled you guys built together with your parents in middle school. you gasp while covering your mouth. "you kept it?!" you exclaim. "of course I did." he says pulling it out from the trunk. "we're going to do our tradition." the tradition was a silly thing you both liked to do during snow days. you would try to get to the highest hill and slide down without trying to fall off. you guys always failed. you and Matt climbed up a steep hill as you look at him. he places the sled onto the fluffy snow as he sits down leaving space for you in between his legs. you smile as you sit in front of him.

"are you ready?" Matt asks, "yes I am but, how did we do this back then? I forgot how steep this hill was!" you exclaim. you both let out a laugh as Matt speaks, "well you know the drill." "try not to fall off!" you say as he slides down the both of you. you shriek from the thrill as Matt laughs. when you guys reach the bottom, the sled comes to a sudden stop causing the both of you to tumble over into the snow. you both laid there cracking up. "I knew that would happen." you say clutching onto your stomach from how hard you were laughing.

"I don't think we'll ever not fall." Matt says shaking his head. "maybe next time." he adds on. "yeah maybe." you reply as your guys' laughter calms down. it eventually got silent as you continued to lay there with your arms by your side. you did miss this. "do you ever wonder what could've happened if we stayed close?" you ask still staring at the sky. "I'm not quite sure." he says doing the same. little did you know, he was inching his hand towards yours slowly. you guys laid there as his fingers were nearly touching yours.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

it was finally Christmas morning, you were woken up by your mother shaking you excitedly. "Y/n! it's Christmas! time to get up." she says cheerfully. you rub your eyes as you look at her tiredly. "the triplets are already downstairs! come on!" she adds on before leaving your room. you get up and stretch before heading to the bathroom to do your morning routine. you put your hair up as you went downstairs. "good morning sunshine." Marylou says with a smile. "good morning" you reply smiling as well. "are you ready to open gifts?" you hear Chris say. "because we've been waiting." he adds on and you see Nick shove him.

"don't act like a child." Nick says to him as Chris rubs his arm. you let out a small laugh as you nod. you sit next to Matt and he greets you ‘Good morning’.

by the time all the gifts are open, everyone could be seen talking and laughing as you and Matt sit there taking everything in. "we need to make this a tradition again." your mom says. "absolutely!" Marylou says. "Y/n?" you hear Matt whisper to you. you turn your head to face him, "yeah?" you whisper back. "I got you a gift." he says. "you did?" you ask raising an eyebrow. he smiles and nods. "oh Matt... I don't have anything for you. I didn't know you were going to be here in the first place." you say with an awkward tone. "don't worry. I got this gift last minute. come with me." he says getting up. you look around as you notice nobody is paying attention. you get up as you follow him out the front door. "what plans do you have now?" you ask letting out a small laugh.

"well, I wanted to have this moment for just the two of us." he reaches into the car as he pulls out the same matching Christmas sweaters from when you were kids but in a bigger size. "Matt..." you say grabbing it slowly. "I think we should keep up with the traditions." he says putting on the sweater. you smile big as you do the same. "where did you even find these?" you asked looking down at the design. "I have my ways." he replies looking at you. you look up at him and smile, "thank you Matt." he smiles as he stands there rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "I have one more thing." he says. "what? how much stuff do you have?" you say letting out a small chuckle. "you need to close your eyes for this one." you look at him confused before responding, "okay? you're not going to throw a snowball at me right?" he lets out a laugh as he shakes his head, "just close your eyes!" he exclaims. "fine sorry." you say shutting your eyes.

you heard his feet shuffle in the snow before you hear the movement stop. "alright you can open your eyes." you hear him say. you open your eyes slowly as you see Matt holding up a little plant. "Matt, is that what I think it is?" you say as your eyes turn soft and you gulp. it was a mistletoe. he lets out a shy laugh as he speaks, "you don't have to if you want but, I wanted to see if we could start a new tradition since we're older." you look at the plant as you smile wide, "of course I do." you say looking into his eyes before pulling him slowly into a soft kiss. Matt drops the mistletoe on the snow as he attaches his hands onto your waist.

you slowly pull away as you both hear a click. you and Matt turn towards the front of the house to see Marylou and your mother holding out a camera smiling. “everything has definitely changed.” your mom says. you and Matt look at each other and laugh.

a/n: this is a little longer than my usual stuff! i hope you enjoyed this as much as i did writing it! LIKES AND REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED! comment what you think about this and if i should do more taylor swift songs for my swifties.

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

You're Still The One ♥️

Coupled up Virgin Eddie and Virgin reader having their first times with each other, and - from both love and in defiance of the people who said they'd eventually get bored with each other - ending up married and/or with a couple of kids, and still as in love with each other and as horny for each other in their 40s/50s/60s/+ as they were in their late teens/early 20s?

Request by anon.

Also this request reminded me of the Shania Twain song-You're still the one so the lyrics are at the end of this fic 🥰

Mdni. 18+. A little bit of smut at the start, fluffy and sweet. Eddie and you being utter simps for each other.

♥️

Eddie's hand gently clasps yours, the two of you are nervous, entwined together and naked in more ways than one but there's so much love and trust, the eagerness to give each other everything.

He's gentle, so very gentle as he thrusts into you. Well as gentle as he can be and holds your hand whispering words of love as he moves in and out of you, only begins to move faster when you assure him you're okay.

The sharp pain you felt at the start dulls and in its place is an all-consuming need for Eddie, you're begging him to move faster and meet his lips in a clumsy but perfect kiss.

"You okay princess?" he strokes your cheek and you nod clenching around him, he lets out a guttural moan and his thrusts become harder, a little bit sloppy at first but he gets into the most perfect rhythm that has you seeing stars.

"You feel so good, so tight sweetheart, I can't believe you're mine"

The pleasure is like nothing you've ever felt before and you know Eddie feels that way too, moans issuing from the both of you as you both reach your climax.

You're giddy and on a high, so is Eddie and the two of you kiss, giggling and so in love with each other.

"That was fucking incredible princess" he sighs then he pauses his eyes flashing with anxiety, "Was it okay for you too?" You rest your forehead against his and smile, feeling like you're on cloud nine.

"It was perfect Eddie"

♥️

People warned you that the two of you wouldn't last.

"You'll never last, you'll grow bored and move on. You're young and being so head over heels in love doesn't last forever"

All of the naysayers were proven wrong, through utter love and defiance you and Eddie fell more in love with each other and that love lasted.

Eddie proposed one beautiful spring day, he had the ring for a long time while trying to think of the perfect time to propose. He had big ideas for doing it, maybe a campaign where at the end he would propose or he could take you to a fancy restaurant and propose to you there.

In the end, though the proposal came on that spring day while you and Eddie were enjoying some quiet time together after a busy week. It was windy and a little chilly, with blossom trees in full bloom (a sight you always loved) and Eddie tearful and struggling to get the words out.

You had pretty much screamed yes and nearly tackled him to the ground when you hugged him. He was grinning widely, all dimples and glee as he slipped the ring on your finger. It was perfect.

The two of you married in the autumn, with just Uncle Wayne, very close family and friends in attendance. It was outside, in the park you and Eddie loved so much, under pretty autumnal trees painted in golds, reds and rich browns.

It was one of the best days of your life and Eddie's too.

♥️

Adelaine was the first of you and Eddie's kids to arrive, from the minute you found out you were pregnant you and Eddie pored over every pregnancy book the two of you could find. He was extremely protective and completely enraptured with your growing bump, talking to the baby and telling the baby stories.

"I want to be the best dad sweetheart. Better than my old man ever was" he murmurs as you both look at lists of baby names. Gently you squeeze his hand and press soft kisses on his forehead.

"You're going to be the best daddy Eddie Munson, you're already the most amazing husband, I know our little one will be loved and so lucky to have you" he still looks anxious so you climb onto his lap and hold him close to you.

"Eddie you're nothing like your father. He was an asshole, cold and cruel. You're nothing like that, you're so full of love and gentleness, I love you so much and so will our little one. Any anxieties we have we get through together okay?" He nods his eyes brightening and a small smile on his lips that soon turns mischievous.

"Hey, how about the name Gandalf?" you snort and shake your head.

"Absolutely not" he pouts and wraps his arms around you, rests his hand on your bump and grins when he feels a kick.

"It would be so fucking metal babe, Gandalf Munson, we could be on to something. Popularise the name" You can't help but start giggling, Eddie pouts again but lets the name game drop for now.

Five months to that day Adelaine Maria Munson was born and Eddie was wrapped around her little finger which was adorable.

Samuel Munson followed and then Arwyn Munson, completing your little family.

Not to mention the many stray cats and dogs you adopted over the years as well. Ozzy, Sabbath, Midnight, Gandalf and a lot more.

Your house was always filled with love, laughter and a dozen pets, you could never resist a cute kitty or dog and Eddie could never say no to the combined forces of you and the girl's pouts.

"Sammy, they're doing the puppy eyes again dude, help your old man out" he would playfully joke to Samuel who was pretty much Eddie's mini me and idolised Eddie.

The first time Samuel and the girls begged Eddie to teach them about D&D, he almost cried. (He totally did) and rushed to make up a campaign for them.

Sundays were campaign day every week in your house after that and Friday nights were reserved for Eddie's epic bedtime story hour - Lord of the Rings was a hit in your household.

Not to mention he made up stories for the kids and dramatically acted out each one (with your assistance) you think Eddie enjoyed telling the stories even more than the kids.

❤️

You and Eddie being still so completely in love year after year made your kids whine that the two of you were "so gross" when you kissed or were particularly touchy-feely, Eddie always over dramatically kissed you even more just to make them laugh.

All these decades later and the two of you were more in love than ever and despite what everyone said the two of you did last.

Soulmates until the end.

♥️

Looks like we made it. Look how far we've come, my baby, We mighta took the long way.

We knew we'd get there someday

They said, "I bet they'll never make it" But just look at us holding on. We're still together, still going strong.

Mm (you're still the one) You're still the one I run to, The one that I belong to. You're still the one I want for life (You're still the one), You're still the one that I love.

The only one I dream of, You're still the one I kiss goodnight.

Shania Twain- You're still the one

[fairydvsts-blog]

𝐩𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

JJ Maybank x fem!reader

obx masterlist

summary; you know fucking JJ is against the pogue code, but, can you resist him?

warnings; SMUT, drug use, thigh riding, fingering, dirty talk, praising, public sex (kinda)

a/n; english isn't my first language, so you might find some mistakes; I'm open to constructive criticism. Enjoy!

You knew the rule: no pogue on pogue macking, however, sticking to it was hard when you felt so attracted to your best friend, JJ Maybank.

You had knew him since both of you were just a couple of kids, given that you had grown up together in The Cut, where you were neighbours. And you had considered him your best friend since then, or at least it was that way until puberty hit him like a truck.

Although you didn't know, he felt the same way about you. At first, he loved you like the sister he never had, but when you started growing up boobs, he couldn't help but see you differently. Soon, all of his wet dreams were about you and he had to force himself to contain his inappropriate thoughts; he didn't want to ruin your friendship.

Still, his attempts to suppress his feelings for you not always worked; sometimes he got all touchy and flirty, unable to keep his hands to himself when you were around. Not that you complained, but that attitude of his just made you hornier for him, and you were worried that someday you might do something stupid that could break apart your relationship.

One night, after you had spent the evening with the pogues drinking beer around a little bonfire, JJ and you lay down in the hammock that hanged from the big tree outside the chateau to smoke a joint together. Smoking with him had become like a tradition between the both of you every Friday night; you invited the others to join everytime, of course, but they always preferred doing whatever else.

You didn't realise back then, but they did it in purpose because they knew about how you felt for each other.

You stretched out next to JJ, getting comfy, when your friends said their goodbyes and moved towards the front porch, where they seated on the couch to talk a little before bed.

Your best friend, meanwhile, lit the blunt using the lighter he always kept in his pocket and took the first hit. You curled up against him, laying your head in his shoulder, and watched as he exhaled the smoke. The blonde put his arm around you and the smell from the weed filled your nostrils when he turned to look at you with a smile that took your breath away; he was gorgeous.

He took a couple more hits before he passed you the joint and you found yourself repeating his actions; soon, his eyes turned red and his pupils widened. You couldn't see your own, but you guessed you looked just the same.

You were usually the most loving of the two, always showing him affection through hugs and kisses, but when you were high the tables turned; in those moments he became all handsy. Although he had never exceeded your boundaries, that night things got out of hand.

When you both were totally stoned, the blonde started caressing your back underneath your hoodie —his hoodie actually—, giving you goosebumps, and when you were holding the blunt, leaving his other hand free, he stroked your naked thigh to almost touch your butt, testing your limits; yet, you did not objected at any time.

He was teasing you; but you knew how to play his game, too.

You sat up in the hammock and leaned on your elbow, drawing his attention from your body to your face. You took a long hit before taking his jaw in your hand carefully to push his lips open, getting closer to him, if it was even possible. You let the smoke out of your lungs and he inhaled it with a flirty smile in his face, then he exhaled it until it got lost in the air between you.

After that, you thought he would pull away, however, he brushed his lips against yours, sending shivers through your body. His eyes fluttered over your face, expecting a negative reaction on your part, when he didn't find it, he repeated the action; that time he titled his head a little to the side so there would be more contact between your parted lips; bumping noses.

It wasn't a real kiss, it was the slightest touch, but it sent shivers through your body and you could feel your panties getting wet. You wanted to hate yourself for letting JJ have that effect on you, but you were so turned on that you couldn't care less.

"JJ, you're playing with fire," you murmured, turning your face to the side in an attempt to recover your good sense.

The blonde's playful hand rubbed the outline of your ass cheek for a few seconds and then made its way down again, grabbing your knee so he could spread your legs and position himself between them.

He buried his face in your neck, where he placed a few wet kisses before taking your earlobe between his teeth. You tangled your fingers in his hair locks, sighing, and your eyes shuttered unconsciously.

"Then burn me," he whispered in your ear while he pushed his leg up between yours, making your pulse race.

Your body took control of the situation instantly and, without giving it a second thought, you started riding his thigh. JJ smiled, lifting your hoodie to expose your butt, only covered by your tiny bikini bottom. He finally grabbed it in his hand so he could bring you closer to his body, pressing into your pussy with his knee. The action made you moan and you covered your mouth to silence it; you didn't want the others hearing you, but being quiet was becoming more and more difficult with each touch.

"You like this, princess?" he asked with raspy voice as his hands crawled under your clothes to untie your bikini top. "Wish you could see how pretty you look rubbing against me."

You nodded while you whimpered, desperate to get your release, and JJ took of your top, throwing it at your feet, to grab your nipples with his fingers; he pinched and rubbed them until the pleasure became painful.

"J, please," you pleaded between moans, moving your hips faster against him when you felt you were about to cum.

"Please what, princess?" he questioned, though he knew thanks to your body language that you were on the brink of an orgasm.

"I'm going to fucking cum," you told him, moaning in his pinky lips as you struggle between kissing him or not.

However, JJ didn't give you the chance to do it, since he got away from you, denying your orgasm. You complained instantly, but the blonde covered your mouth so you couldn't say anything about it.

"Shh, it's me who decide when you get to cum, understood?" he said at the same time that he played with the strings from your bikini bottom with his other hand.

You nodded in response, given that you couldn't talk, and JJ let you go with a pleased smile.

"That's my good girl," he praised you as he got rid of your bottoms.

He repositioned himself between your legs, spreading them wider to take a look at your naked pussy, biting his lip at the sight. Without looking away, he licked his thumb and then slid it between your folds to rub your clit in slow circles. You started making faint, muffled sighs due to the craved touch and wrapped your leg around his hips. You brought him closer until your face was inches from his and his lustful eyes fixated on yours.

Your erratic breathing contrasted with his calmed one, his nose bumped against your cheek again and that time you couldn't resist the impulse to kiss him. Your tongues met, shyly at first, but JJ took control of the kiss right away, making it more demanding, as if he was marking you as his.

Your heart hammered in your chest like crazy while your shaky hands sneaked under his t-shirt to touch the soft skin of his abs lightly. Finally, your kiss broke when you felt JJ circling your entrance with two fingers, making you moan in his mouth.

"I want you so bad, J," you panted.

You closed your eyes as his fingers slided in, feeling his wet kisses go from your cheek to your neck.

"We can't do it here, they'd see us," he murmured between kisses, slowly thrusting his fingers into you, "but I promise I'll make you feel good, princess."

His words and fingers made you moan again and you kissed him in an attempt to keep quiet, feeling a pleasant tingling at your belly when he began fingering you faster. His cold rings hit your sensitive warm flesh with each thrust, giving you goosebumps.

JJ was as good with his fingers as you had imagined, even better; he knew how deep he had to push and how to curl them to reach that spot that made you weak on your knees.

"You're doing so good, baby," JJ said as he started rubbing your clit again. "You can cum when you're ready."

It was all it took for you to let go. You came harder than you have ever come in your whole life, shaking in his arms as you shouted his name. He had to kiss you to shut you up, sliding his tongue in your mouth, while he caressed your face. When you came down from it, he pulled away and kissed your forehead, hugging you, and you stayed like that for a few minutes.

"J, we broke the rule."

"We should've broken it sooner." You smiled.

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

oh hello, I am here for my first beloved hype fic: someone who cares! prompt: "do you remember when we first met?"

I'll leave the rest to you and your gigantic, perfect brain <333

Lex!! 😍 Thank you so much for all your support and for giving this little universe so much love. These two were the starting point of my Steddie obsession AND of my fanfic journey, and they'll always hold a special place in my heart. Hope you'll enjoy their wedding day!

Perfect, somehow

Rated: G

Words: 986

Tags: No UD AU; Modern AU, Steve is Dustin’s dad; Established relationship; Wedding day; Eddie Munson is a sweetheart; Steve Harrington needs a hug

Notes: Set in the same universe as Someone who cares

Steve is staring out at the rain and the soggy decorations dangling sadly from the branches of the apple tree when he hears the bedroom door open.

“Hey Robs,” he sighs, fiddling with the flimsy zipper of the dry cleaner bag. “Do you think it’s too late to reschedule the whole thing? I know Eddie will be disappointed, but-” 

“Disappointed?” says a voice behind him. A very familiar, very male voice that is distinctly not Robin’s. “I think the word you’re looking for is fucking livid, honey.” 

“What the fuck?” Steve yelps, whirling around so suddenly he nearly topples. “I told Dustin to get Robin!” 

Eddie shrugs - or at least Steve thinks he does. It’s a bit hard to say with only his head poking into the room, the rest of him still hidden behind the half-open door. “She’s downstairs talking to the caterer. Can I come in or what? Dustin said, and I quote, Dad looks like he’s about to puke on his ugly-ass shoes.” 

Steve’s gaze flicks down to his tan leather slippers. He bought them especially for today, to have something to go with his cream suit. 

“It’s bad luck to see each other before the ceremony,” he mutters. 

“Yeah right,” Eddie snorts and steps into the room. The mumble of voices from downstairs dims as he shuts the door behind him. “Except from what you just said, you’d rather not have a ceremony at all.” 

“That’s not true,” Steve blurts. “Of course I wanna- … oh shit, you look amazing.” 

Eddie smiles - the boyish and dimpled one that was one of the first things Steve fell in love with - playing with the lapels of his suit jacket. Black, just like his shirt and tie and pants. His hair has been tamed into a braid, the first stubborn strands already escaping and curling around his face. 

“Thanks,” he says, black leather shoes nervously scuffing on the bedroom floor. “You only get married once, huh? If you still wanna. Marry me, that is.” 

Steve groans. The dry cleaner bag, still clutched in his clammy hands, crinkles as he flops down on the bed. 

“Of course I wanna marry you. I wanna marry you so fucking badly, you have no idea!” 

Eddie’s brow wrinkles. “Then what’s the problem?” 

“What’s the problem?” Steve blurts, gesturing frantically at the curtain of rain behind the windowpane. “I wanted this to be perfect, and now? Weather forecast says it won’t stop raining until tomorrow, and even if it did, the yard’s a fucking mud field. And as if that wasn’t enough, the fucking dry cleaner ruined my suit jacket.” 

He unzips the bag, shaking the mess inside at Eddie’s face. Those pretty brown eyes grow large. 

“Whoa,” Eddie mutters. “Please tell me you demanded your money back.” 

Steve doesn't reply, just continues to stare at him with the same glum expression. Eddie’s eyes go soft and he huffs a laugh. 

“Hey,” he says, plucking the bag from Steve’s hands and tossing it over a chair. Then, he plops down on the mattress beside him, knee to knee, and links their fingers. “Do you remember when we first met?” 

“Huh?” Steve blinks. “Yes, of course, why do you-” 

“I was one failed rent payment away from sleeping on the curb,” Eddie interrupts him, smile wide and happy. “The power company had cut me off weeks ago, and besides, I had pawned my laptop, so I hand wrote my application for that job you'd posted. Not that I thought I'd get it, but I was sort of grasping at straws, y’know?” 

His smile is warm and fond when he looks at Steve.

“That apartment building of yours was so fucking fancy. And then you barged out of that stupid, pompous penthouse and I thought shit, not only is he filthy rich, he's also disgustingly hot on top? Gimme a break, that's just unfair.” 

Steve scoffs, heat prickling at the base of his neck. “C'mon now, I was a mess. My father was breathing down my back at work, I felt like I was failing as a dad. The bags under my eyes were probably reaching my knees.” 

Eddie laughs, loud and carefree and Steve loves him. Loves him so fucking much, wants to spend the rest of his life listening to that laugh. Still can't believe he'll get to. 

“Okay, one: you looked like a fucking dream, baby. And two: I think we can agree we both weren't in the best of places, each in his own way. Right?” 

Steve scoffs. “Yeah, agreed.” 

Eddie's fingers squeeze his, the touch warm and familiar. The shape of his hand. The warm metal of his rings. Skulls and crosses, and the plain silver one Steve gave him on the day he proposed to him. “And still here we are, huh?” 

Steve takes a moment to let this sink in. Here they are. The man he loves and him, with the family they chose downstairs, ready to build a future together. 

“Yeah,” he breathes. “Here we are, I guess.” 

“So, what d’you say?” Eddie hums, lifting their entwined hands to kiss Steve’s knuckles. “You wanna get married?” 

Steve can't help it, he laughs. “Hell yeah, let's do it.” 

“Yesss,” Eddie cheers, jumping off the bed and punching at the air. “Let's fucking go!” 

Then, he starts unlacing his shoes. He's taken off his socks and is rolling up his pants before Steve finds his words again. 

“Erm, Eddie? What are you doing?” 

Eddie, just in the process of shrugging out of his suit jacket, shoots him a toothy grin. “What we do best, love. I'm making it work.”

They say their vows ankle-deep in mud, with the wind blowing rain under their umbrella and ruining their hair. It's nothing like Steve ever imagined his wedding day to be. It's all he never knew he wanted. 

And damn if that isn't its own kind of perfect. 

More celebration ficlets!

[rainybyday]

Hedera Helix (For Real this time)

P1 | P2

It ended with a hug. 

For better or worse, Jazz always knew that she would leave her family at one point. One day she will grow up to be an adult who will apply for college and finally leave her hometown away from the craziness that was her parents. Of course, she planned to call Danny more often than her parents, come back to help him with his college journey, and have an open door for him to visit her once she gained a job and an apartment. 

She just never expected him to leave her first. 

As the eldest sibling, there was always the instinctual need to protect her brother. Yes, she would get mad at him, yell at him, or even tease him but she would always drop everything if he is ever in danger. Her responsibility as an elder sibling was more than just blood to her, more than what her parents were to her.

She loves her parents, she truly does, but they weren’t good parents. Yes, they gave her food and clothing, encouraged her hobbies, and paid attention to her academic scores but they weren’t there. They didn’t tell her stories of the tooth fairy but instead of ghost essays and grave markers. They didn’t wait to hear about her new obsession with unicorns before explaining how they would dissect one. She didn’t even get to show off her grades in peace before they praised her intelligence in Science, not remembering how she told them how much she struggled in English class. 

She understood her parent's priorities were never about her but what would become of her. Not Jasmin the girl who made a mommy and daddy friendship bracelet but Jasmin the women who will carry their legacy. 

She didn’t want that for her brother, so she raised him to be someone free. She finger-painted with him on the sidewalk, taught him how to pillow fight, and played astronauts and aliens with him. She made a cardboard rocketship for him for Halloween, woke him up with a happy birthday song first thing in the morning, and caught fireflies with him. She paid attention to every little achievement and hugged him as much as she could. 

Danny was her baby brother, sibling, and her baby boy. He was everything to her, and even as a high schooler stressed with earning money on the side with her college career coming up she still will drop everything for him. 

And the day she found out that he was protecting her instead of the other way around broke something inside of her. 

She failed, in some twisted form of negligence and teenager carelessness she had lost her brother in more ways than one. 

And now she is losing him again, this time, she doesn’t know when she might see him again. 

God she didn’t want to cry, not now. She just needs to hold it in. Just for another minute and then she could cry once he was out of sight. 

Just give her one more minute. 

Only a minute and then she can let go. 

------------------------------------------------------------------

It was windy today, a nice breeze on a warm spring day. The echo of windchimes drifted about, and the sound of background chatter, and the rustling of trees greeted her again on this calm Sunday. 

Jazz took a moment to sigh, a heavy thing as the smell of musk and willow wood drew her back to memories she always conflicted with. 

Home, she was home again. The same day, same time as always. 

And as always she carried two baskets with her as she walked down the streets, waiting for the same occurrences that always happened ever since Danny left. 

It didn’t take long before a teenager spotted her with their friends. They waved at her with a smile and Jazz returned it with one of her own. Like clockwork, she greeted them, handing them each a blue petunia before heading off once more.

(Blue petunias, the sign of trust and serenity. A sign of hope that has yet to be lost.)

(Just like him.) 

Taking a cue from this, more people approached her as she handed them all a single petunia each. Adults politely thanked her, children were giddy as they showed their friends their gifts, and teenagers teased each other by tickling each other with soft petals. Whenever someone approached her she always handed them a petunia from the basket on her left. 

The basket on her right was never touched, yet it was noticeable when the flowers started disappearing slowly over time. Jazz didn’t panic, instead, she only smiled and gave well wishes to those who chose not to be seen. 

A long walk later, she finally arrived at her original destination with a hint of relief. As much as she was glad to give out her flowers, it was also exhausting to socialize with so many people. 

As she entered, she noticed how the sound of her footsteps should have been the only sound in the graveyard, but there were also sounds of whispers in the wind, a hum vibrating all around, and the distant prayers of visiting residences. 

To think that this part of town was once empty and eroding into nothing, now transformed into a clean and cherished part of Amity’s history. 

A hum of content passed through her lips as she walked with a purpose. It only took her a moment before she saw the grave she came to visit in the first place. Another moment was used to place the rest of the blue petunias on the grave before the Jazz sat down besides the grave. 

“Hey, Danny,” Jazz greeted. “I’m back! Missed me?”

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Blue eyes snapped open with a bubble of joy radiating from the boy turned man. Making himself comfortable on the plush chair he sat on the man smiled into the empty air. 

“Hey, Jazz. You know I always miss you.”

P1 | P2

Hi! finally did it! I finally remade Hedera Helix into the direction I wanted! I know many of you were looking forward to have a second part of this story but to be honest, the first additon of it all felt so fourced and I hated it. And i mean HATE. So i decided to redo the whole thing into something I can have fun into making!

And I did! I love it! I hope everyone else is excited for this new remake of Hadera Helix as well as I am because I have never been so happy right about now!

Just-

Also- before I go on I want to address this before anyone might think anything funny.

"Danny was her baby brother, sibling, and her baby boy."

I know the "baby boy" line might make it seem as if Jazz is the one parenting Danny and is seen as a parental figure and it does. Kind of. The situation I am trying to portray is how sometimes when siblings are left without a parental figure majority of their lives they all turn to their elder sibling as a replacement for their parental figure. Not because they believe they may be their new mom or dad but because they need someone to care for them.

This is an actual situation that has happened to many families before and even to mine. I am the eldest of three siblings and once my family hit a financial struggle that forced my dad to work all day and my mom all night, making only 1-3 hours of their time spent on us. So this made me the main figure in my siblings' lives which affected me and them, to the point that they even called me Mom. Thankfully the situation only lasted three years and they no longer call me Mom and see me as their sister only. But sometimes we do slip so their effects linger.

So using my own experiences I used that to create this line as a way to express the negligence that both Danny and Jazz faced in this story. I hope that makes sense.

[cas-skz]

Our Girl

Bangchan x Fem!Reader

| non idol au | single parents au | ex to lovers |

18+!!! PLEASE&THANK YOU. MDNI!!

Chan has your five year old daughter Emma for the weekend, but during a vicious hurricane you realize she forgot her stuffie and head out to deliver it. When a tree blocks the road, you’re forced to stay the night…or two.

warnings: alcohol, unprotected sex, cum shot. little cursing

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :]

writers note: yea hello hi my friends. jac used my full real name and “my fucking heart you bitch” when she read this so I hope you feel the same. And yes I named their kid emma so I could scream it like on H2O

enjoy! cas xx

The sounds of children's laughter filled the playground. Your eyes followed Emma as she ran around, making friends with the other kids and joining them in games. She got her social skills from her father, that was for sure.

Emma was born just after you graduated from college. Her dad, Chan, had just started his career as a music producer and you had signed as a junior designer for a fashion line. Life got busy, between both your jobs and raising a baby, you and Chan eventually drifted from each other.

One thing you appreciated about Chan was how much he cared. He checks in daily and gets her anything she needs. Even though he doesn’t have much free time, when he has the chance, he always spends it with her.

“Daddy!” Emma’s voice screamed out from the crowd of kids, her curly locks flying behind her as she ran towards Chan.

You couldn’t help but smile at the sight of them embracing. Chan lifting her in the air and hugging her tightly, kissing her cheeks until she told him to stop. You wished you could stay in these moments, where everything felt okay.

It had been a couple weeks since you’d seen Chan in person. He would video call every night to read Emma a story, taking a bit of time to chat with her about their days. It reminded you of the nightly calls you shared with him years ago.

After a few moments with Emma, he joined you on the bench. “When will she stop growing?”

“In like 10-15 years.” You groan with a laugh, leaning back on the bench and turning slightly to Chan. He looked tired, but he was much more toned than you remembered.

“We’re gonna be so old.” Chan said dramatically.

You nudged his arm, “we’re already old.”

He whined a little, rubbing the back of his neck. “I guess we are. You’re still older though.” He chuckled.

You rolled your eyes and laughed, looking back towards the playground. “So, what do you have planned tonight?”

It was the first time in a long time that Chan was able to take Emma for the weekend. She was head over heels excited.

“Homemade pizzas, cupcakes for dessert,”

You interrupted, “Chocolate?”

“Of course, she’d flip if not.” Chan laughed, “I also got a couple of those bracelet making kits, since she’s been going on about them” he went on for a few minutes about all the different things he had planned.

You couldn’t help but smile, hearing how excited he was made your heart happy.

He stopped and looked at you, a bright red creeping onto his ears. “What?”

“Thank you.” You said after a long moment, your eyes fell to the ground before back to Emma. “You’re a really great dad, and she’s lucky to have you. We’re really lucky.”

You spent the next little while chatting, catching up on life before Emma came running over to you both, “I’m hungry!” She whined in a dramatic voice.

The three of you went to a nearby pizza place as storm clouds started to roll in. You quickly got to your cars, giving Chan her overnight bag and you said your goodbyes. “You call mommy if you need anything, okay? I hope you have so much fun with Daddy.”

The storm started a few hours later. Chan confirmed they had gotten back to his place and you decided to relax for the night - or at least try to. The movie was almost over when the power went out and you sighed softly before moving to your bed.

You had just sat down when you felt a soft bump under the blanket, pulling it out to see Emma’s stuffed rabbit. She slept with it every night and you knew she’d have trouble without it.

Without a second thought, you grabbed your keys and headed to your car, trying to reach Chan as you drove through the storm.

It took you twice as long to get to his place, and the phone lines had stopped working by the time you pulled in. Candles flickered through the windows and you made the dash to his front door.

“What the fuck?! Are you actually crazy?” Chan said as he pulled you in the house. You were soaking wet just from the few seconds in the rain. You unzipped your jacket and pulled her bunny from under your shirt. “She forgot, Mr. Hopper.”

“Daddy, you’re not supposed to say Fuck.” Emma said coming into the entry way in a tutu and gently taking the plushie from your hand. “Thank you for keeping him dry, and bringing him. He was scared.” She turned in a circle and walked back into the living room.

You smiled softly and turned to leave, but Chan held the door closed. “I’m not letting you drive again.”

You rolled your eyes at him, “I got here perfectly fine, didn’t I?”

As if the weather gods were on his side, a loud snap came from across the street.

“Timber!” Emma yelled from the living room.

Chan moved to look out the window next to the door, “Looks like you’re stuck.”

You groaned quietly as you peered outside, noticing a tree fallen down across the road.

It took you a while to settle down. It was weird being in his home, feeling his energy after so long. After a couple glasses of wine, you finally relaxed into the couch a bit.

You laid on your side, flashlight on the bracelet making that was happening on the floor. You smiled as you watched Emma pick out different beads and carefully string them together, but your eyes kept drifting to Chan.

You didn’t remember the last time you saw him so happy. It looked good on him.

His eyes flashed up to catch yours for a second before you quickly moved them back to Emma. A lump in your throat started to grow. You tried to drown it with the wine.

“Sweet dreams, my beautiful girl. I love you so so much.” You kissed Emma’s forehead a few times before sending her upstairs with Chan.

The tension in the air finally lifted a bit, and you took the opportunity to look around his place. It was nicely decorated, with different paintings and albums on the walls. You walked slowly through the halls until you found his studio.

Your fingers ran slowly along the shelves of his music collection, pulling out a few to admire the cover work. A baby picture of Emma caught your eye, and you slowly walked over to Chan’s desk.

You smiled to yourself, starting to gaze over the other pictures he had out. They were mostly of Emma, no surprise. Though, a small frame with two pictures, sitting directly in the middle of his desk, caught your eye.

A wave of emotions started to hit as you looked at the photos. One was of you, laying in bed sleeping and another was of the two of you when you first met.

Tears started to fall from your eyes, you slowly set the picture back in its place. You turn to leave the room. You stop in your tracks, gasping, seeing Chan standing in the doorway, a glass of dark liquor in hand.

“Sorry.” You start, your eyes focusing on the glass before falling to the ground. He hated drinking. “I was just having a look around. The place is really nice.”

He smiled softly, “thanks.”

He shot back the rest of the liquor, walking over grab the picture you had put down. “This was the morning we found out about Emma.”

You turned your back to him as he leaned against the desk, his eyes following you as you avoided his gaze. The room felt heavy with tension again as it fell silent for a long moment, wind and rain hitting the windows the only sound filling the room.

You didn’t want to admit how much you missed him, how much you wanted your little family back together. He was your best friend and feeling so drifted apart from him broke your heart.

“The guest room is made up, I threw some clothes for you in change in.”

“Thank you.” You turned to look at him, a few more tears falling. “I’m gonna head up.” You forced a smile and turned to leave.

Chan’s hand caught your wrist before you could make it out, his grip gently against your skin. You turned, looking at him through watery eyes.

Your body unconsciously took a step towards him, and his arms wrapped tightly around your head and shoulders, pulling you into a hug.

It caught you off guard at first. The warmth of his body, his familiar scent. It made your stomach erupt with butterflies.

You finally wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your head against his chest.

When Chan finally pulled back, he quickly wiped his face and sniffed. “Just let me know if you need anything.”

Sleeping was nearly impossible, the noise outside was horrid. The tears hadn’t managed to stop falling and everything was cold since the power was still out.

You had just closed your eyes again when Emma’s soft voice woke you. “What’s wrong baby?”

She clung to Mr. Hopper, “I had a bad dream and now the storm is scary. Can you come sleep with me and Daddy?”

It was only then you noticed Chan in the doorway, half asleep, hair a mess.

You sat up in bed a bit, tucking a piece of hair behind Emma’s ear. “I don’t know if daddy would like that sweetie. Why don’t you go with him, he’ll keep you safe.”

“But I want you both.”

Chan insisted it was okay and you let Emma guide you towards his bedroom. You both took a side and let her in the middle.

Emma yawned, snuggling into Chan’s arm while holding onto yours. “Night night mommy and daddy.” She said sleepily.

You kept your eyes on her as she fell asleep, but could feel his gaze on you. Your eyes move to him, meeting with his. You looked at each other for a long moment and it felt like your heart was going to explode.

You smiled softly and let your eyes close.

The quiet sound of chatting woke you up. Emma was sitting up on the bed, babbling away with Chan.

You stretched out groaning, turning on your side to cuddle into Emma.

“Mommy! We’re gonna build a fort, do you wanna help?!”

You happily agreed, quickly washing up before meeting Chan and Emma downstairs. Emma was dragging all the blankets and sheets from the linen closet, and Chan was in the kitchen raiding his pantry.

“Do you need any help?” You asked as you walked into the kitchen.

Chan sighed quietly, turning around with a few random boxes in hand. “I didn’t realize how hard it was to make breakfast without power.”

You grabbed a box of crackers from his hand, peaking into the pantry to check what else he had. “Can you cut up a banana and apple, please?” You ask, setting out some peanut butter, Nutella and granola

He rose an eyebrow at the items you pulled out before grabbing a knife and starting to cut the fruits.

You quickly spread PB on some of the crackers and Nutella on the others. Sprinkled some granola and started to grab the pieces of fruit Chan had cut, placing them on top.

“How did you come up with that so fast?” He asked, lifting Emma into his arms as she came running into the kitchen.

Her eyes went wide at the sight of the makeshift breakfast, “Snacky Crackers for breakfast?” She asked excitedly, reaching over to grab one.

“Special occasions only, and I guess the power being out can count as one.” You laughed, starting to munch. “Emma was the one who came up with it. I wasn’t feeling good one night and she brought me these.”

“I’m kind of a genius cooking person.” Emma said confidently.

“A chef.” You and Chan said at the same time.

After finishing eating, the three of you headed to the living room to build the fort, which ended up taking over the whole living room. You told stories, played board games and found different ways to pass the time.

The power was still out when the evening came, and the tree was still blocking the road out. You had no choice but to spend another night.

You’re not sure what time it was when you woke up from a nightmare, gasping for air and tears falling. They didn’t happen as much as they used to, but the effect always left you anxious and restless for a while.

You pushed out of bed after a few minutes and started pacing up and down the hall. You sang ‘you are my sunshine’ quietly. When you turned to walk the other way, Chan has stepped into the hall.

“Oh, sorry. I’m just having trouble getting back to sleep.”

“Nightmare?” He asked.

You bit your lip gently and nodded, sighing quietly as you started to walk towards the guest bedroom. “Sorry for waking you.”

“Y/N…” Chan said quietly, “Come sleep with me.” He extended his hand to you.

He knew you’d never get back to sleep alone.

You took his hand and let him guide you, crawling into the bed from his side. You flipped on your side to face him as he settled back into bed.

“Come here.” Chan said, sinking down into the bed with one arm opened, making a little spot for you.

You slid up and tucked yourself under his arm, resting your head on his shoulder and a hand his bare chest. Your body calmed almost immediately.

“You didn’t have to do this for me.” You said quietly, your fingers moving slowly across his skin.

“But it helped, didn’t it.”

“It did.” You looked up at him, meeting his eyes. “Thank you. For everything.” You moved your self up a bit, placing a gently kiss on his cheek.

Your lips barely left his cheek when he turned his head to catch you, pressing his lips deeply into yours.

Your hand slid up to his neck as you kissed back, a soft moan escaping your lips in between the tender kisses.

His hand rested gently on your hip as the two of you made out.

Chan slowly moved on top of you, his lips moving to your neck, sucking gently on your sweet spot.

“We shouldn’t…” You said quietly. Your body was starting to cave into him.

Honestly, it was driving you a little crazy how bad you did want him. You hadn’t stopped wanting him.

“I know.” Chan said, his breath hot in your ear. “I just miss you so much.”

You lifted his head back to yours, kissing him again as a tear fell from your eye. “I miss you too, Channie.”

The last time you hooked up with him after the breakup was at Emma’s birthday party, almost a full year ago. You hadn’t been with anyone else since him. He was the one.

“You know it’s always been you.” Chan kissed your lips again, “it will always be you.”

You pulled his lips to yours, smiling into your kisses. It felt like a weight lifted off your chest, and as if it was some sort of sign, the power came back on.

From down the hall, Emma screamed awake. You and Chan both rolled out of bed instantly, going to her room to see her sitting up in bed, giggling to herself.

“People are scared of the dark, but the lights scared me!”

You shook your head laughing, sending Chan in to help her back to sleep as you went downstairs to turn off things that had been on before the power outage.

Chan was just leaving Emma’s room as you reached the top of the stairs, “She fell back asleep really fast.” He chuckled, his eyes on you as you walked towards him.

When you were almost to him, you slid your panties off from under the oversized shirt you were wearing, tossing them aside before l finishing your walk.

Your hand slid slowly up his chest, “Is daddy going to help me go to sleep too?”

His hand gripped the back of your neck as he pulled you in for a kiss, his other arm swooping down to pick you up from under your leg.

Chan carried you to the bed, you stopped to remind him to lock the door. Emma had almost walked in on your two at her birthday party, thankfully you had just finished.

He lifted you onto the bed, kicking off his pj pants before climbing on the bed, hovering above you. “You know, this is the first time since Emma was born that we’ve had sex twice in under a year.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, smacking his arm gently as he leaned down to kiss you. “Should we keep count for the next few months til her birthday?” Chan said, his lips moving to your neck.

“You think you can keep track?” You giggle, reaching down to stroke his cock. He moved up a bit, his hand replacing yours as he ran the tip of his cock through your folds before slowly thrusting in.

You gasped a moan as your head fell back, your wet walls expanding from his thick cock. His lips found your neck again, kissing and sucking gently at your skin.

Chan’s hand ran gently on your outer thigh, lifting your leg a bit as he continued to thrust slowly, filling your body with chills and goosebumps.

You cursed quietly as your peak already started to approach, you pulled Chan’s lips back to yours, giving him a deep kiss as your walls started to contract, your wetness dampening the spot underneath you.

His lips moved softly against yours, only lifting the tiniest bit when a few moans and curses left his mouth.

Your body shook gently as he pulled out, the feeling on his warm cum spraying up your torso.

You ran your hands though his hair as you kissed him for a few minutes, unable to stop smiling.

“And I think that’s the fastest we’ve made each other cum.” Chan said smirking.

You covered your face with both hands, laughing into them. “Do you keep track of our whole sex life?”

“Not hard to do when my girl fucks so good every time.” He said, nuzzling his nose between your hands to kiss your lips.

The sun had just started to come up when you and Chan went for a shower. Knowing Emma would be up soon, sleep was going to have to wait.

Sitting on the counter, you happily sipped on a cup of coffee as Chan cooked breakfast, bacon and eggs.

He turned to you while it started to cook, his hands running up your tights as he kissed your lips softly.

“Are you kissing?!” Emma yelled from the entryway, running over to the two of you, hugging Chan’s leg as she looked up at you both with eager eyes.

Chan lifted her onto the counter next to you, placing a kiss on her forehead, “And what if we were?” He asked with a laugh.

Emma made a long thinking sound, “Gross, but only because kissing boys seems icky.”

“How would you know?” You asked

“Rylan kissed me like 500 weeks ago, it was gross. He smelled like farts.”

“You’re not allowed to be kissing boys.” Chan said, pointing the spatula towards her. “Not until you’re 40.”

“You’re 40, right daddy?” Emma asked.

You burst out laughing at her question, and Chan’s facial reaction.

“I’m 25!” He whined, doing a little sulky stomp.

The three of you ate in the kitchen, feeling cozy in the spots you were in. You and Chan couldn’t stop smiling at each other, even if there was still a ton of stuff to figure out.

Once done, Emma ran off to play and you started the dishes.

Your mind had trailed off as the ‘what if’s’ started to creep into your mind. The stress of figuring out how to balance your busy lives without losing each other again.

“Hey,” Chan said softly, leaning on the counter next to you, his hand tucking some hair behind your ear. “Talk to me.”

“I’m just…worried.” You say quietly, finally rinsing the dish you had zoned out washing. “I don’t want us to drift again. I don’t think I could handle it and I don’t want to think about how Emma would deal.”

You started on a word vomit ramble, about how busy life was and how you could barely keep up as is. You had started pacing at some point, hands dripping from the water.

Chan placed both his hands on your shoulders, stopping you in place as you looked at him with blurry eyes. “Quit your job.”

His words took you by surprise, you whispered the tiniest, confused. “What?”

“You have enough connections in the industry, you could easily be a freelancer until someone, someone who knows your worth and how fucking talented you are, signs you.”

It was true that work was stressing you out. You poured your heart and soul into designs, only for them to be shot down.

“I can probably work from home, since I’ve been there long enough. I want us to be a family, for real this time.”

You looked up at him, his face so sincere and confident. It made your heart fell warm, and you knew you could trust him to take care of you both.

“I want that. I want this. I want you. I want us.”

Chan smiled softly, leaning in to gently kiss you. He took your hand and guided you to his studio, “Emma, can you come here please?” He yelled.

Chan sat in his computer chair, pulling you onto his lap and when Emma came skipping in, he lifted her and sat her on his other leg.

“You remember when you told daddy what you asked Santa for?” Chan asked Emma, brushing some curls from her face.

Emma nodded, “For daddy to marry mommy.”

You blushed deeply, scrunching your nose at Emma while smiling uncontrollably. “You silly goose.”

Chan turned in the chair a bit, reaching behind the picture of you he kept in the middle. “Well,” he started, wrapping his arm around Emma and sneaking one around your waist, a small light blue box in hand.

You felt your chest go tight as tears started to well in your eyes, you leaned back a bit to look at Emma, who took the box from his hand and held it happily in hers.

“It doesn’t have to be marriage, but I think it’s time you got this.”

Emma opened the box, a stunning pear shaped Tiffany ring. Chan took it out, holding it up.

“I’m in it forever.” He said looking into your eyes.

You let the tears fall, kissing his lips before holding your ring finger up. He slid the ring on, pulling you in for another kiss.

“Forever.” You whispered against his lips.

Emma jumped off his lap, doing a silly celebration dance and cheer. “You’re married!” She yelled, taking off running into the house. “Marrrrrrried.”

“Cute officiant, where’d you find her?” You laughed.

“My wife, and it’s the best gift she’s ever given me.”

You kissed his lips again, running your hand through his hair. “Is my lovely husband going to help me move?”

“We got married like two seconds ago, and you’ve already got a job for me?” He asked dramatically, his smile gave away that he was joking.

“Just wait til you see the plant watering schedule.” You giggled.

[mamaestapa]

I Wish You Would

•pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

•series summary: Y/n Hubbard, the younger sister of Cincinnati Bengals Defensive End Sam Hubbard, finds herself in a difficult situation after a steamy hookup with her brothers best friend, who just so happens to be the quarterback for the Bengals. In just nine months their lives will be changed forever. How will Y/n and Joe manage to to go through parenthood together? more so, how will Sam take the news he is going to be the uncle of his best friends baby?

•chapter summary: Sam pours his heart out to you and Joe, hoping you two will forgive him and his behavior from the past six months...

•word count: TBD…it’s a very long chapter though (i was too lazy to put it on a google doc lol. i’ll fix it later today)

•warnings: pregnancy, pregnancy hormones, reader is extremely turned on by Joe (whos not? LOL), slight smut/more like allusions to sex, mentions of pregnancy loss, SAM, some confrontation, some angst, fluff, basically the basic daddy issues warnings lol

series masterlist

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May 21, 2023

6 months pregnant

You took a deep breath as you leaned against the counter, arms crossed over your chest and resting on your growing baby bump as you watched Joe prepare a protein shake after his workout. You huffed out a sigh as you watched the muscles in his biceps and forearms flex with each shake of the bottle. It was almost like they were teasing you, wanting you to grip them tightly as you and Joe...

"Y/n," Joe's voice snapped you out of your wandering thoughts, "You OK?"

You felt your cheeks flush as you looked into Joe's blue eyes, his gaze making butterflies swarm in your belly. You gulped slightly, hoping he didn't pick up on your body language. I'm OK, you thought, I'm more than just OK, actually..

I'm extremely turned on right now by your black compression shirt...

Your bulging and drenched in sweat arm muscles...

and don't even get me started on that ass...

"I'm great." You said with a small smile as you uncrossed your arms and adjusted the shirt that tightly hugged your body. Joe's gaze never once left you, making your body's excitement grow more and more.

Stupid pregnancy hormones. They've been raging recently, wanting you to pounce on your boyfriend at any moment and climb him like a tree. Joe could just glance at you and your body made you need him, all of him.

Joe furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at you. It seemed like he wasn't believing your response. He set his shaker bottle down on the counter and made his way over to where you stood on the other side of the counter. Joe stood in front of you, crossing his arms over his chest which of course made your eyes wander. Your eyes widened slightly as you took in the way his chest looked hugged by his compression shirt. Joe noticed your gaze fall to his chest. Oh. The lustful look in your eyes made him chuckle. Lovely pregnancy hormones.

Joe smirked as he uncrossed his arms and walked up to you, holding them out for you. "C'mere mamas."

The name had you practically melting into Joe's arms. You fell into his embrace, bringing your baby blue manicured hands up to his hard chest. You slowly ran your hands down Joe's chest and abdomen, your arousal growing as you felt each ab on your fingertips. You bit your lip slightly as your hands came back up settled on his sternum. Joe stood there as you felt his body, his arousal growing as you got up on your tip toes to kiss his neck. You started delicately sucking at the skin of his neck, making Joe groan softly. You kissed along his jaw line before going back to his neck, making sure to mark him up. Before you could leave a deep purple mark on his neck, Joe pulled away from you, making you whine.

"Joeyyy."

Joe narrowed his eyes at you. Already knowing the answer, he still decided to ask, "Why are you so..."

"Horny?" You finished for him. Joe chuckled at your bluntness, "Yeah."

You pulled yourself completely away from Joe and leaned against the countertop, "Well," you sighed, "I went to my doctors appointment a couple days ago." Joe nodded along as you spoke, interested to see where you were going with this.

"And not only are my hormones raging right now, but Doctor Montgomery said it might be a good idea to stop having sex once I reach the sixth month mark."

Joe's eyes widened slightly as his mouth formed an O. You sighed once again, bringing yourself close to your boyfriends chest again. "So Joe, please," you practically begged, "all I want is for your to slam me against this countertop and screw me like there's no-."

You got cut off by Joe's lips slamming onto yours. You instantly kissed back just as harshly. He pulled away, a small smirk on his face as he looked down at you. "Say no more..." he said, huskily under his breath. You let out a breath of anticipation as your smirk matched his.

Joe pushed you against the counter, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"Jump." He instructed.

You did as he said, jumping just enough so you could sit on the countertop. You straddled his waist, your fingers digging into his toned back. You threw your head back, moaning as Joe put his lips against your neck, sucking at the skin just enough to get a reaction out of you, but not enough to leave deep marks. You brought your hands up to his hair, pulling on strands of his dark blonde hair, "Joe, don't stop..."

He pulled your tight fitting white t-shirt off of your body, throwing it across the room. Joe bit his lip, observing your chest which has gotten significantly bigger since you've gotten pregnant. You grabbed his hand, placing it on your right breast. His palm instantly kneaded at the swollen skin. Joe's other hand traveled down to your waist band, his skilled fingers hooking under and slowly pulling them down your thighs. Both of your breathing was quickening as he traced the lace of your panties...however, as Joe's fingers pulled at the material of your panties, a sudden wave of guilt came flooding over you. 

"Wait," you suddenly pulled away from Joe, making him remove his hands from your waist. "stop." you said, removing his other hand from your chest. Joe pulled away from you completely with a puzzled look on his face. "What's wrong?"

"I feel..." you trailed off, pulling your pants back up and gulping slightly as you made eye contact with a concerned and confused Joe, "dirty." 

Joe's eyes widened slightly as he was taken aback by your confession, "D-dirty?" he chuckled, "Why d'you feel dirty, babe?"

You put your hands on your belly, "Because we have the little guy in here listening to everything, and it just feels wrong." You shuddered at the thought of the baby boy in your womb hearing everything.

"Babe, we've done it before with the little guy in there," Joe said, gesturing to your bump as he reassured you, "It's fine, really."

You shook your head, your hormones suddenly changing their minds. "I was only what, three months pregnant? I was barely showing, and he couldn't hear things. Now, I am really showing, and he can hear us, Joe. Do you really want our son to hear us having sex while he's in here?" You finished, pointing to your baby bump.

Joe laughed, "You- seriously?" You giggled, "Yes, seriously!"

"Y/n, baby, he's going to hear us when he's out of there, so he might as well get used to it now."

You gasped at Joe's words, lightly hitting his chest as both of you chuckled at his joke. He did have a point...but that didn't stop you from feeling guilty, nor did it change your mind at all.

"Maybe we should just wait to do this until after I give birth. I feel guilty if we finish..." You trailed off with a sigh. You looked up at Joe, smiling sadly as you looked into his eyes. He was just as turned on as you were...what a bummer. "I'm sorry, Joey."

Joe chuckled as he picked up your shirt and tossed it to you. "Stop. Don't be sorry." He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a warm embrace. He placed a gentle kiss on your forehead before he spoke, " It's fine with me, sweetheart. Whatever makes you the most comfortable."

"Thank you, Joe." You said quietly as a smile tugged at your lips. He was so patient with you and your pregnancy hormones. It meant a lot to you that he was so patient despite the raging hormones and mood swings you were experiencing. You pulled away from Joe, placing a gentle kiss to his lips which he gladly returned. You let out a soft sigh before you spoke, "It's probably a good thing we didn't participate in any...activities."

Joe chuckled at your use of the word "activities".

"Because," you continued, glancing at the clock, "we're supposed to meet Sam for lunch in forty minutes."

Joe's mouth formed a straight line as his shoulders dropped at the mention of your older brothers name. The brother you haven't spoken to since the day of your sister in-laws baby shower. The day that was supposed to be a happy and exciting day, turned into one of the worst day of yours and Joe's lives. Joe didn't want to see Sam, not after all the drama and hurt he caused you both emotionally and physically. Maybe he was being overdramatic, but Joe doesn't think he'll ever forgive Sam for being the reason you could have lost your unborn son.

"Joe," you said his name softly, pulling him out of his thoughts. Joe hummed in response. You noticed how he tensed up and how his jaw clenched at the mention of meeting up with Sam.

"I know you don't want to see him, but I think it would be good for us, all of us to hear what he has to say."

Joe just nodded at your words. You frowned softly as you said the next part, "And as much as I want to stay mad at him for everything he has done to us and our relationship. I really miss my brother."

Joe sighed softly as he snaked an arm around your waist, gently pulling you into him. He didn't want to admit it, but deep down he did miss Sam, too.

"I know," Joe said, "I miss him too."

You smiled sadly and pulled away from Joe, grabbing his hand and slowly leading him out of the kitchen, "Then let's go get ready." Joe nodded and followed you out of the kitchen and upstairs to get ready for lunch with Sam.

It was a day you were both dreading, but you knew it needed to happen sooner rather than later. After hearing how guilty and genuinely sorry he seemed, you realized you needed to let Sam talk and have the opportunity to apologize. You and Joe needed to hear where he was coming from. You may not always agree or get along, but he is your brother. What he did wasn't right, but you can't ignore him forever. While it may take some time and effort from all three of you, Sam does deserve a chance to make things right.

time skip

You and Joe walked into the restaurant you agreed to meet Sam at, both of you simultaneously taking a deep breath as you stepped through the entrance. It wasn't too fancy, just a local sandwich shop in Cincinnati, a place you and the other wags met up at often during the off-season. Sam made sure to have you all meet up when it wasn't super busy since you didn't want to be bombarded by fans. You also didn't want any speculation to start swirling around the league after you were seen sporting a baby bump while out with the star QB...

You knew you wouldn't be able to hide your unborn baby and his fathers identity forever, but you liked what privacy you and Joe had for now. You would tell the world about everything when you were ready, and right now is not that time.

As you walked further into the shop, you saw Sam sitting in a booth, staring intently at his phone. You took another deep breath as you looked at your brother. You could feel your heart race and your palms grow clammy as you realized it was finally time to have that conversation or should you say conversations you've been dreading. You and Joe agreed to go into this day with an open mind, wanting to stay as civil as possible. You’d only get confrontational with Sam he if he got confrontational with the two of you.

Joe could sense you tense up beside him, so he placed a hand on the small of your back, giving your hip a gentle reassuring squeeze. You looked up at him and smiled softly, giving him a small nod before the two of you made your way over to Sam.

As you grew closer to the booth he was sat in, Sam snapped his head up from his phone. His eyes lit up as he saw you and Joe standing in front of him. He didn't think you were going to show up.

Sam stood up, wiping his hands on his shorts and taking a deep breath before he spoke.

"Y/n, Joe," he said, sounding almost relieved to see both of you, "hi."

"Hi Sam," you said softly, giving your older brother a small smile, "it's good to see you." Sam smiled sadly at you, his blue eyes apologetic as he replied sincerely, "It's good to see you too, Y/n/n. I've missed you."

"We've missed you too." Joe answered, making your older brothers eyebrows raise slightly. He wasn't expecting that answer to come from Joe, and neither were you. You briefly looked up at Joe before turning your attention back to Sam, giving him a closed lip smile.

"You want to order some food and maybe get a table outside? It’s pretty nice out, plus it gives us some privacy." You said, voice growing quieter by the end of your suggestion. Your brother and boyfriend nodded, agreeing with what you said. The three of you proceeded to the counter to order your sandwiches before heading outside. After getting your food, Joe chose a table for you to sit at a few feet away from the entrance. Once you were all seated and settled, Sam spoke up.

"So how have you two been?"

"Really good," Joe said, glancing at you with a small smile on his face. You nodded, adding on, "I had an appointment last week, passed my glucose test and baby boy looks great." Sam smiled at that, "Good," he said , "I'm glad to hear that."

You smiled, "Thank you. He had us worried there for a while, but doctor says he's happy and healthy."

Sam's smile faltered slightly at the mention of how your baby's health had you and Joe worried for a bit. It took a lot of reassurance from Emma and the others that it wasn't his fault and scares like that can just happen, but Sam still couldn't help but feel guilty about the whole situation. He put so much stress on you and Joe during those early months, he knew it had to be his fault.

Sam gulped slightly, "Well I’m happy to hear that. You look great by the way, Y/n/n."

Sam's nickname for you made you smile slightly. While he's made you extremely upset and been quite a douche lately, you canto deny that you've missed him so much.

"Thanks Sammy," you replied, your nickname for Sam making him smile this time, “How’s Emma doing?”

“Good, her and baby girl are healthy. Em’s a bit uncomfortable though. Just ready to have the baby,” Sam chuckled, “but I constantly have to remind her she’s still got about eight more weeks left to grow.”

“It’s because she’s growing your big ass baby, Sam. How much more growing could she have left?” Joe said, joking with his best friend, “is she measuring ahead at all?”

Sam chuckled lightly at Joe’s teasing before answering, “Yeah she’s actually measuring two weeks ahead. We’re going in for an ultrasound in two weeks to confirm, but doctor thinks the due date will get moved up.”

“That’s great if it does,” you smiled, “Not only does it save her weeks of discomfort, but your daughter will be here before training camp.” Sam nodded at your words, “Oh yeah,” he agreed, “we’re hoping that’s the case.”

You and Joe nodded in agreement. You’re not at that point in your pregnancy yet where you’re extremely uncomfortable, but you know you’ll be feeling exactly how Emma feels in just a few weeks. For now though, you’re just thankful for how good you feel during the end of your second trimester.

For the next fifteen minutes or so, you, Joe and Sam ate your lunch in a mix of tense, yet comfortable silence while making the occasional small talk. It was obvious the three of you wanted to get into the reason why you’re meeting up today, but nobody seemed to be the one that wanted to bring it up.

You knew Joe wouldn’t bring it up. At all. And you didn’t necessarily want to be the one to start the conversation, but you also didn’t want to avoid the discussion anymore than the three of you already were. Someone just had to “rip off the bandaid” and finally start that conversation…

You wiped the corners of your mouth before folding your napkin in your hand and setting it down on the table. You adjusted your position in the chair you sat in, uncrossing your legs and sitting straight up. You cupped your bump and cleared your throat before speaking up, “I hate to be the one to bring it up…” you trailed off, eyeing the two men sitting with you, “but we do need to talk.”

“Yeah.” Joe sighed, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his fingers through his grown out hair. Sam nodded as he too adjusted his position, “We do.” He confirmed, sighing softly after he spoke. Sam wore an apologetic expression as his eyes darted between you and Joe. He took a deep breath before taking a moment to spill his heart out to both of you. Months of pent up emotions would be spewing out in just a matter of seconds.

“I don’t even know where to begin. I just, I feel terrible. Terrible about how I’ve been treating you two and how I reacted to the baby—your baby. Terrible about what happened the day of Emma’s baby shower. If it wasn’t for me and my outbursts, you guys wouldn’t have almost lost your baby boy that day.” Sam’s voice cracked with emotion as he said the word “baby”.

You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth as you listened to Sam’s voice break. Joe brought his hand under the table and placed it on your protruding belly. He started to stroke the bump with his thumb, comforting both himself and you with the reassurance that your son was still safe and sound in your womb.

Sam continued speaking, “And don’t even get me started on the Ohio State situation. I had no right getting in-between the two of you like I did, even if it was for the best.” he sighed softly, as tears began to well in his eyes, “I, god, I feel terrible about everything I’ve done.”

You frowned as you saw how emotional Sam was getting. He did seem like he genuinely felt bad. You wanted to speak, but Sam wasn’t done.

“I understand if you never want to see me again—either of you. I wouldn’t want to see me ever again either if I were you.” Sam wasn’t one to usually show his emotions, but right now he was showing all of his emotions. His chin quivered as he spoke, “I am so, so sorry for all of the shit I’ve done and said to both of you. Not just with the pregnancy, but with your relationship. Neither of you deserve the shit I’ve put you through, and I am so sorry for that. I wish things could go back to how they were before between us. I wish I wasn’t selfish. I wish I wasn’t such an asshole. I wish you two would come back into my life again because…”

You and Joe stayed silent as Sam spewed out his jumbled apology. You were trying to process all the things he was saying to you, while also allowing him to have the chance to get everything off of his chest.

“I love you both so much,” Sam continued, his tone somber, “Y/n/n you’re my baby sister and Joey, we’ve been friends for so long that you’re not just my best friend, you’re my brother. I should’ve never treated you guys the way I did because as long as you’re happy, I should be happy, right?” He sighed once again, taking a moment to think of the right words to say next, “I’m genuinely sorry for the last few months. I’ve been overreacting like crazy, and if you’ll let me, I’d like another chance. I want to make things right.”

You took a deep breath as you took in all of Sam’s words, which was a lot to take in. Joe removed his hand from your bump, bringing it up to his hair. He wet his lips as he ran his fingers through his grown out hair. The air between the three of you was tense as Sam waited anxiously for either you or Joe to respond to him pouring his heart out.

“Sam,” Joe spoke, his voice quiet. Both you and Sam turned your attention to the blonde sitting next to you. “I understand why you reacted the way you did when we told you about the baby. I do, and I forgive you for that. But,” he sighed before continuing, “Why did you do it? If you love us as much as you say you do, if you want us to be happy as much as you say you do, why did you do it?” His voice was full of confusion and pain. You could feel the tears well in your eyes at the sound of Joe’s voice. You knew exactly what he was referring to…and so did Sam.

“I was trying to protect both of you.” Was all Sam said. Joe furrowed his brows and cocked his head to the side, “From what?”

“A lot. Protect Y/n getting her heart broken and losing the one boy she ever truly loved. Protect you from getting stuck at Ohio State and throwing away your whole career for my sister. Joe, I love you man but you and I both know things would’ve ended worse between you two if I hadn’t stepped in.”

“You were protecting us from eachother?” you asked, voice laced with so much confusion and emotion. It didn’t make any sense to you.

“Yes,” Sam confirmed, “I was protecting both of you from eachother.”

“But Why?” You and Joe asked at the same time.

“Because I knew it wasn’t going to work between you two at the time.”

You and Joe both furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “Why?” You asked, genuinely confused. Sam scoffed lightly, “If you’d let me explain, maybe it’ll answer your question.” You and Joe closed your mouths, your silence urging Sam to continue.

“Joe, you were in love with my sister since the day you met her, and Y/n, you couldn’t stop drooling over Joe after I let you spend the night at our apartment for the first time.”

You and Joe both blushed lightly at Sam’s words. Neither of you had realized he knew all along about the infatuation you and Joe had for each other as young adults.

Sam continued, “And as much as you loved each other, I knew it wasn’t going to work out at the time. Joe, if you stayed at Ohio State I doubt you would’ve gotten any playing time until it was too late. I knew for you to achieve your dreams, you had to go to LSU—even if it meant breaking my baby sister’s heart. And Y/n,” Sam turned to you as he spoke, “if Joe would’ve stayed in Ohio he would’ve held you back from getting that internship in Los Angeles that gave you your job for the Bengals. You needed that time away from him and he needed that time away from you.”

You hated to admit it, but Sam did have a point. If Joe would’ve stayed at Ohio State…would you even have your job with the Bengals right now? Better yet, would Joe even have his job with the Bengals? It all started to make sense now…

Sam didn’t make Joe break up with you in college because he didn’t want you two together…

He did it because he wanted you two to find yourselves before finding each other.

“I felt like an ass having that conversation with Joe, acting like I hated the idea of you two dating. I knew it had to be done though for both of you to have the futures you wanted. But, I knew it would all work out for you,” He looked at both you and Joe with a genuine glint in his eyes, “Because you two were so in love that I knew someday you’d find your way back to each other,” Sam smiled softly as he looked between you and Joe, “and look at you now. You’ve got your dream jobs, you’re in a happy relationship, and you’re having a baby. Now you can say I’m wrong all you want, but, it looks like you found your way back to each other after all.”

You glanced over at Joe. The corner of his mouth was pulled up into a slight smirk as he shook his head at Sam.

“Wow,” he said, a light laugh escaping his lips, “You, I don’t even know what to say.”

“You really were looking out for us.” You said, looking back at Sam. He nodded, “Could I have executed it better? Oh yeah. But did it work? I’d say it did.”

You smiled slightly at your brother as tears welled in your eyes. You were overwhelmed by everything Sam had just told you. He knew all along that you and Joe were sneaking around behind his back. He knew how much you and Joe have always loved each other. His actions in college weren’t out of spite against you two, really, he was just looking out for both of you all along. It was hard to stay mad him now, now that you found out the truth behind everything.

You stood up from the you were sitting in, walking over to the other side of the table where Sam sat. He stood up from his chair, and as soon as he was standing you wrapped your arms around him. The two of you hugged tightly in silence for a few moments before you spoke.

“I forgive you Sammy.”

Sam smiled and squeezed you gently. He pulled away from you, turning his attention from you to Joe, who was now standing. You stepped to the side, letting the two have their moment. Joe pulled Sam into a “bro hug”, the two not saying a word, just nodding and slapping the others back the way men do when they hug. After pulling away from each other, the three of you sat back down.

The air amongst you wasn’t as tense as before Things were finally starting to feel normal between the three of you again. You spent the next teeny minutes talking some more, all three of your sharing some more of your feelings. You and Joe both agreed to give Sam a second chance. Your son deserves to have great relationship with his Uncle Sammy.

"Do you guys want to meet Emma and I for dinner next week?" Sam asked before the three of you went your separate ways. You smiled at your brother, your smile only widening as you glanced up at Joe. A content smile was on his face as he nodded at Sam. He didn’t have to say anything. You and Joe both knew that this was his way of beginning to forgive Sam for everything.

"We'd love to."

"Okay, great," Sam replied with a smile, "Jeff Ruby's or Boca at eight?"

"We've never been to Boca." Joe replied for the both of you with a shrug.

"Boca it is then."

After months of you and Joe both not speaking to Sam and being on not-so great terms, after today, it's safe to say things might finally be starting to look the way they did before this mess. While it's still a work in process, you finally had your big brother back in your life and Joe finally had his best friend back in his life.

You both couldn't be happier.

hi loves!!!

omg long time no see, lol. i feel like haven’t updated this in such a long time! (it’s because i actually haven’t😂)

i’ve been dealing with college, writers block, a football funk, and having ZERO motivation to write for this series. it was tough for a while because i loved working on this series over the summer, but something happened (i don’t even know what) and i lost all motivation for this series. maybe it was because football season wasn’t feeling like football season or because i started watching hockey. i don’t really know why, but the good news is, i finally have ALL my motivation back!!🤍

and with joe being out for the rest of the season now, i’ll be keeping up with updates for this series because i know that’ll keep our “joe community” happy while our joey recovers from his injury :)

i apologize if this chapter is all over the place and if the conversation with sam makes absolutely ZERO SENSE. i wrote that at like 4am, plus, i had no clue how to write this chapter. i just knew i needed to get it done and published! the next couple chapters im so excited to write, they’re going to be so sweet🤍

thank you so much for all the love and support you all continue to show me. it means the world to me. thank you for your patience too, i know it’s not always easy waiting months for updates lol. you are all the BEST!😚🫂🤍

tags: @dandelionwrites8 @joeburreauxsworld @theflawedwriter @mrsshiesty @ann288 @ijustcrypretty @theoneandonlyfanz @wickedfun9 @venus-b @hummusxx @stainednailpolishremover @a-moment-captured @alternativemadchen @erinmartin1987 @sirlewisworld @kkrenae @unhingedfangirl @sublimemusic-rebel @meameagirl @ilovejoeburroww @hallecarey1 @j-worlds-blog @blinkloverx3 @jordyn14 @kristencochefski1125 @ryiamarie @unsaidjaelinrose @sinners-98-world @ozwriterchick @evernova @fangirl-madz @jackharloww @emherb10

[devilfic]

I was wondering if you have any hcs for a jealous Selina Kyle? Thank you!

(gn reader please)

❝jealous!selina kyle❞

pairing: zoe kravitz!selina kyle x gn!reader. cw: best friends to lovers, roommates to lovers, jealousy, possessive selina, she's a little toxica but she's too pretty to be mad at about it, author's taste in women is showing, knives, brief mention of childhood bullying. words: 2.6k.

my god, do I ever

first of all, selina wants you to know that she is NOT the jealous type. how could she be? it wouldn't be... befitting of a woman who likes to stretch her legs and coil her tail ‘round whoever she pleases, whenever she pleases

as an orphan who has owned so little, she has evolved past jealousy, past watching the pretty girls with the happy families buy them everything they want

when she wants something, she takes it. and when it's hers? it's hers

so what's there to be jealous of? she gets everything she wants. and if someone tries to take her things... well. god forbid

you knew this, growing up with selina in the system. she had been in plenty of fights with the sniveling little boys who'd pull her hair and steal what little she could get her hands on

but what little she did have, she shared with you

you always felt a sense of pride at being the exception for selina, the only one she'd let get close

you were practically a part of her, joined at the hip everywhere you went. you didn't need to ask for she'd give you everything if she could

as you both got older, selina got faster

when those same sniveling boys would try to take her things, they'd wake up with pin needles in their boots or bleach in their soap bottles

they'd stopped messing with her pretty quick, but it also put selina in the hot seat with the wardens at the orphanage

by 13, selina was on the streets. she'd threatened you not to follow, told you she'd make a real life for herself, and it took all there was in you not to beg her to stay

but she'd sneak through the gates to see you in the courtyard, hiding and giggling in the tree branches together until the sun set

she'd walk you home from school and you'd share your leftover lunch with her (because it wasn't "worrying" about her if you ate too, it was just two friends shoveling cookies in each other's mouths and laughing all the way home)

by 16, selina was working at bars and nightclubs with fake IDs that promised she was 21

you told her how grown she looked in all that makeup and how she reminded you of those supermodels with their sultry bedroom eyes

and when all was quiet, she would sneak in through your dorm window and climb into bed with you, eyes still caked in glitter and lips still glossy red

and you couldn't help but get a little shy when she would kiss your cheek goodbye before sneaking out at sunrise

by 18, she had secured the keys to her first ever shitty apartment, and hadn't let you spend a day out in the real world before asking you to move in with her

and ever since, you have been selina kyle's one and only roommate

if you didn't count the cats

selina never really made it out of the club scene. she'd bounced from bar to bar and eventually landed at the iceberg lounge, her best-paying gig yet

but it also left you coming home right as she was leaving, only ever having the time to hug each other goodbye before you were forced to eat dinner alone

you'd always hoped that with you helping out on rent, selina could finally get a better job. somewhere sleazy dropheads weren't constantly trying to cop a feel

but she had her reasons, and she promised she’d never bring any of it back home to you

the extent of her nightlife, as far as she let you know, was her one little secret. you knew the lounge was teeming with unseemly types, and whatever happened behind closed doors wasn't exactly legal

and the other stuff—the things she did that covered the other half of her rent?—the less you knew, the better

what she did share were the dates

and selina dated. of COURSE she dated. she’d sometimes come home at 4 in the morning and you’d wake up, a light sleeper when she wasn't around, and she’d kick off her heels and slither into bed behind you and reprimand you for asking about her date when you’ve got to be up for work in 2 hours. but she’d tell you anyway, spinning hilarious webs about the strange people she let spend their dime on her

and you’d nod off in her arms as she sung you dreams of lobster takeout she made her date buy you in the fridge, promising to make you coffee before you headed off to work in the morning

and if you were to ask her the next day about her date, she’d blink and ask, “who?”

it really wasn’t a surprise to you how desired selina was

even in the orphanage, she'd been popular. you yourself had been entranced by her plenty of times before, and selina would tell you a million times how many street rats she'd had to turn down over the years because they got a little too attached

if you asked her if she’d ever commit to anyone tho, she'd just smile, “we both know you're the only one who can pin me down”

you didn't want to admit how often you'd imagined doing just that. and other things

you, on the other hand, have been in a constant struggle to hold down a real relationship

most of your prospective dates were kind, maybe a little awkward

but they also never went anywhere

you blamed it on the nature of gotham, a loveless city that made it hard to hold onto something sweet when the next minute was rarely guaranteed

you never came home from your dates with lobster or funny stories, just snuggling into selina’s open arms and swearing you didn't want to talk about it

you’d asked selina once, a little drunk on sadness, if you’d ever find someone to love you

and she’d taken your chin into her hand, forcing you to look her in the eyes, and told you very seriously, “I love you, and none of these bozos know what they’re missing out on.”

and then, quietly, when you had tucked your head back into her chest to hide the way her words had turned you to jelly, added on, “but I can’t say I hate having you all to myself.”

you hadn’t known then, but she really meant that

selina would continue to go on dates and bring you back gifts—things that were intended for her but she always insisted you have. it had weirded you out wearing the pretty bracelets and rings and more that her one-and-done dates would buy her, even more so when she would insist on you wearing them to work or on nights out on the town

but she always got this proud look in her eye when you would show off her gifts

borderline... hungry, even

god forbid if it was a piece of clothing, some piece she'd bought for you on a poor sap's black card during a shopping spree

she’d drape herself against the couch and command you to walk for her in your little living room, her hand brushing your thigh or waist as you pass her by, her eyes glinting as she would order you to twirl or pose or stand utterly still as her fingers drag up your silhouette to examine… something

or she’d come up behind you while you were washing dishes, her fingers plucking one of the rings she'd given you off the kitchen sink and admiring the little soap suds bubbling on the gem, murmuring something about how she should really get on top of dishes more often

or how she’d kiss your ear after climbing into your shared bed for the night, resting her hand on your hip where her fingers would just brush the waistband of your underwear

honestly, it was really hard to remember she wasn’t your girlfriend sometimes

after one too many internal what-are-we’s, you’d vowed to secure yourself an actual partner

and funnily enough, that was all it took

this date was smart, funny, a good listener, and definitely hadn’t killed anyone before

one uncertain date turned into two shaky dates turned into three hopeful dates turned into a month of steady dating

you could see the surprise in selina’s eye whenever you'd tell her that yes, you were going out again and yes, it was still the same person

but then she’d always wish you good luck, promise to break their knees if they broke your heart, and stand alone as you bolted off to see your new not-quite-something-just-yet

morning chats over coffee about the neighbors or the strays selina let wander in through the fire escape turned into "they're just so sweet" and "I really want you to meet them, selina" and "don't you have work in twenty?"

of course she'd grin and bear it when you talked about them. of course she'd pretend it didn't bother her, even if the cats would scamper away from her caress at the mention of your new... thing

you: and they’re really outdoorsy, they promised to take me on a picnic upstate whenever we got time off from work

selina: I bet you’d love that :) too bad your allergies are so sensitive :)) maybe I should take you on a rooftop picnic one day instead :)))

you're always going on and on about how she should meet them, but she never commits to a solid date

but she does want to know everything about them. not their interests or aspirations, but the things that even you wouldn't know

and although she’d never tell you this and you’d never find out, sometimes when you leave for those dates, she breaks into their place

it started out as a necessary precaution, something she told herself she had to do to protect you

there were sick people out there. selina knew that best

but god, if you found out, she wouldn't hear the end of it

it's that little part of her that she keeps secret from you. for your own good

and this too, snooping around your date's bedroom, was for your own good

checking their passport against a list of gcpd's most wanted was for your own good

staying up for you with her hand flicking their butterfly knife back and forth as you tumble through the front door, giggling and- she realizes then that you're not alone. they're here too

the two of you freeze in the front door where selina watches from the couch

"shoot, selina. I thought you had work tonight?"

she eyes you and your meek expression, then the equally bashful look on your date's face. she adores shy on you, adores it even more when she's the reason why, but them... "got off early. hope I'm not... interrupting"

but selina panics through all her bravado, imagines what would have happened had she not been here. would your date have coaxed you to the bedroom—your bedroom—and laid you down, kissed your neck where selina kissed you when she was feeling playful?

or would they have let you straddle them on the couch where selina sits now, windows wide open because they were just so smug that they were taking you from her so easily-

she clears her throat, shoves that thought away lest it get the better of her, and smiles

you look nervously between your date and selina, then very gently tell them that you'd probably have to rain check the rest of the night. you even insinuate to try their place next time, and selina imagines them kissing you on their sticky futon and... oh god, she's gonna lose it if she isn't careful

your date smiles and nods, shrinks back a little when selina rises abruptly to follow them out, and that's when your date notices the knife in her hand still being flicked between her fingers to the rhythm of her pounding heart

"oh, cool. I have a butterfly knife too! you're pretty handy with that." your date praises, sounding a little... shocked

selina smiles tighter, "yeah? you do?"

your date laughs nervously, "almost exactly the same, actually. I-I got it in college. I'm not as skilled as you, though. that one actually looks a lot like the one I have back at my place. that's such a... funny coincidence."

and it's really too much, but when selina thinks back on this moment, she will never truly forget the look in their eyes when she stabs the blade into the door frame right beside their head

if they weren't a little scared of her before, they were now

selina leans in and lets her hand drop from the hilt, "yeah, funny."

your date doesn't look at the knife, or selina, before wishing you a goodnight and bolting down the hallway

"selina, what the hell was that?"

"nothing! nothing. I was just... playing around. I didn't think they'd piss themselves."

you narrow your eyes at her, "you expect me to believe you didn't know what you were doing?"

"well, if they scare that easily, I'd rather them not be around you anyway"

"selina."

"I mean, come on, pet. I've looked after you since we were kids and you expect me to let just anybody come take you away from me?"

"...selina."

"and I don't care if you've found someone—I couldn't care less, really—but at the very least pick someone with some teeth-"

in her pacing, you catch selina by the wrist and cage her against the kitchen countertop just to force her to look at you, your voice dropping to whisper her name, "selina?"

and she just. cracks

her eyes are wet with frustration and she doesn't want you to see, doesn't want you to see her laid bare so suddenly because she'd always thought.... well, she'd always imagined that this would go a little smoother

dinner over candlelight, rented out restaurant just for the two of you, wine and feeding you expensive sweets and every ruby and emerald and pearl she'd ever bought adorning you. making you shine in her fantasies like a bright light blotting out that nasty little speedbump of a wimp you called your date-

she pushes her lips against yours to stop the spiral, and because you look so pretty that it hurts to look at you for too long and not kiss you

it's quick. a peck, really

she does it to quell the raging storm of desperation in her but when she pulls away and your lip is wet from her kiss, the desperation swells all over again

you look like you're trying to process all those years of friendship, "playful" kisses, touches that you weren't supposed to think twice about

"you... but you... all those dates..."

selina shakes her head, and somehow admitting who she's been every night since she was 13 is a lot less scary compared to her heart bursting in her chest, "did you really think... all those gifts were for me?"

everything did always fit just a little too perfectly on you

you melt into her, dropping your head on her shoulder with the weight of the truth and you feel her laugh and hold you close by the waist

you press your burning face into the crook of her neck, "I never thought... I mean, I'd always kind of hoped that you... that you might feel the same. I'd just assumed I wasn't your type."

you feel her nails glide up your spine, dragging up your neck and causing you to full-body shiver, "baby, you are the type"

"so, the dates weren't real?"

"a few were. not all of them"

"how'd you afford all that stuff, then? penguin can't pay that well"

selina's nails pause in their caressing of your neck

you peel back some, waiting for her reply

gently cupping your throat, selina smiles innocently, "you're into leather, right?"

taglist: @yikes-buddy @alexxavicry @theclassicvinyldragon @marina-and-the-memes @angxlictexrs

[starlessnightsblog]

daryl x reader

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

MDNI 18+ | wordcount: 3k | smutt ⭑ fluff

daryl to the rescue

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Daryl decided we'd go out for a run. The prison could always use more supplies and he figured he could try to bring home dinner too.

I watched as he packed the trunk of the Prius with supplies we would need, n'case we would stay overnight. The sun was shining, it was a pretty day, the grass still glistening from the morning fog. It had rained on and off here at the prison these last few days. Daryl was eager to get back out there, I knew he liked providing for the group and he liked when I could tag along, he'd grown to not like being apart from each other for long.

I walked up to him, placing my hands on my hips as I watched him slam the trunk door down, "We all set?" I smiled up at him.

He grabbed his bow that was leaning against the car and swung it over his shoulder, "Yes ma'am," He squinted his eyes as the sun beamed in his face. With a raspy voice, "you driving?"

He tossed me the keys before I could answer, I caught them, and rolled my eyes playfully, "This time, but you're driving us home." He hummed paired with a nod.

Daryl opened the driver's side for me, and I looked up at him, my eyes asking him to kiss me. He caught on and leaned down to meet my lips, but in that moment, I saw Carol walking up to us and pulled away. Daryl noticed my gaze shift and he turned around to meet her. She hugged Daryl briefly and then me. "You two be safe, ...and behave." Her tone was stern yet hinted with sarcasm. Daryl let his head fall and his hair cover his face, trying not to smirk too much.

"We behave?" I questioned, pretending to be offended by her statement; though Carol never meant any harm.

Daryl walked to the passenger side and sunk in. "See you soon.' He reassured Carol and she nodded. I closed my door and started the car and waited for Carol and Carl to open the gate, they waved us off. I watched them grow tiny in the rear view.

Me and Daryl parked the car on the side of the road a few miles out from the prison, we  ended up in the woods before midday.  Stumbling through the forest on foot, I treaded right behind Daryl, as we stayed silent amidst the trees, getting a feel of the surrounding area, not wanting to draw unwanted attention to ourselves. I watched as he led the way, looking at sticks and piles of brushed up leaves, observing them. I watched his back as he was distracted by the prints in front of him, we hadn't encountered any walkers yet and I really didn't want too. My aim was still off sometimes, walkers made me freeze up. I hated having to encounter them, at all.

"We need to find an abandoned cabin or somethin'." He mumbled. "I think I remember seeing one out this way." He pointed and began walking adjacent to the direction we were going in, I just went along with it, trusting his every intention. "Okay."

"Least somewhere we can hold up for a night." He looked back at me, his eyes met mine.

oh, I thought. He side smirked and raised a brow. chewing his bottom lip, "Let's keep moving." He hummed and I nodded.

The day was growing dark and grey clouds had infused the sky; the wind picking up in waves. The ambiance of crickets and cicadas filled the swampy air. My feet would've been killing me if I wasn't already use to it, walking, running all day.

Daryl had managed to snag a few rabbits and now we were looking for somewhere we could build a fire. Though I think he was growing weary of the weather just as I was, and we were having zero luck with finding the cabin.

Instead, we happened apon a little homemade, car, junk yard. Though the cars were either stripped of everything that made them useful or already pieces of scrap metal, maybe even from before the world went to shit. Still, it looked untouched enough. There was a chained-up storage container sitting on the far side of the yard, almost blocked by two cars mangled on top of each other. I pointed it out to Daryl. "That might be good place to sleep tonight." I whispered.

"It'll have to be," He looked up at the ever-darkening sky, "come on." he ushered me, his hand hovering the small of my back.

We approached the fenced-in plot, finding a good spot spot to sneak in through. Daryl made a hole in the fence with his bolt cutters. He pulled the chain link down as quietly as he could, though it still made noise.

With caution, we began inspecting the yard. staying close to one another. After assuming it was fine, Daryl began opening a few of the hoods of the cars, inspecting the engines for anything useful. I held my knife out in front me, in case I needed it as I kept walking ahead, wanting to get to the storage building.

I wandered up to what seemed like an untouched mini-van. It had no tires, from what I could see, but all the windows were intact, looked promising. I tried peeking through the caked-on dust and dirt, maybe even guts or blood, I failed to make anything out, so I tried wiping the window with my fist. I wiggled the handle, it was locked, weird. I yanked the handle one more time, and then CLAP.

A pale, skinny hand from inside the car hit the window hard, I flinched, it scratched and bit at the glass so hard it was making its fingertips bleed. It was loud now, and I jumped back, wanting to evacuate the scene and maybe it'd magically shut up? I took a step back into the grasp of a walker suddenly appearing from under the same mini-van, I lost my balance, and stumbled back, hitting the ground fast and hard.

I slammed my foot against the rotter over and over, but was failing to do any real damage, I heard groans coming from behind me. I glanced back quickly. Another walker was crawling out the thick grass, it appeared to have no legs and half an arm, t was close but struggling at the very least, tangling itself in the weeds. My focus shot back to the walker beneath me, it was chomping and hadn't even reached my foot yet. I began to frantically search the ground for my knife, I must've dropped it when I fell. I cursed, wanting this to end but not knowing how.

Another wandering walker's attention snapped to me and this one wasn't stuck; it started limping quickly, it's one good arm shooting out, preparing to grab me at first chance. My heart was racing faster than ever, I pleaded with myself to do something, to move. I screamed as the walker beneath me bit at my shoe, I kicked it off before it could bite through, I scrambled away in the dirt, the moans and groans from the biters around me filled my ears and all I could think of was Daryl and how I couldn't leave him, not like this.

I closed my eyes, shielding myself as the walker that was stumbling towards me got hauntingly closer. Then, in an instant the air was silenced. I watched the walker collapse on the group in front of me, A bloody arrow had pierced straight through its skull. Then another arrow went straight through the eye socket of the walker holding onto my foot. Blood leaked from both the heads in front of me, though the weak walker behind me was still struggling, but still too close for comfort. I stared at the vicious corpse, still in shock from the last few minutes.

I didn't see Daryl till he was on top the corpse in front of me, he shoved his knife down and through the walker's brain, and stabbed again and again till the head was blood and mush. Dark blood splashed his face as he did so.

I took a deep breath in, and Daryl's full attention locked on me, he snapped out of it and rushed to kneel beside me, pulling me up gently. "You okay? You're okay right? They didn't-," His breath trembled, and he looked scared; he scanned my face up and down.

My eyes locked to his as they trained my face. "I'm okay, I'm good," my words wearier than my breathing, my body slightly shaking in the rush of it all, "they didn't- I'm okay." Tears formed in my eyes. I cupped the side of his face with my hand as I shook my head in reassurance. "I'm okay." He touched his forehead to mine and then wrapped his arm around my whole body, holding me tight. We lingered in the embrace, I wanted him to never let me go, and then it began to thunder. Daryl broke away first and looked around. "Let's get inside."

We hadn't even scoped out the container due to my little damsel in distress moment. but it didn't matter anymore, we were sleeping in that thing no matter what.

Rain began to poor, the dirt on our skin rinsing off, our hair dripping onto our faces; we hurried over to the storage container. Daryl puller out his bolt cutters swiftly and broke through the chains with ease, that, or he just made it look easy. He slid the door open slowly and it was dark inside but not so much so we couldn't see in it. I stepped forward but his arm shot in front of me, holding me back. He looked me up and down, "Uhh uh, No way." He murmured.

I didn't say anything. He grabbed a flashlight out his bag and stepped inside. It beamed through the shadows. He peaked around and made sure no dead would pop out the corners. He signaled for me that it was safe, and I stepped inside. He came to close the door behind me, shoving a metal rod through the handles.

I think it was safe to say we hit the jackpot. The container had shelves on either side, it was partially stocked with a decent amount of can goods, we found a first aid kit, and even a few boxes of ammo. I noticed some cardboard boxes that looked straight out of somebody's Saturday morning garage sale.

They were filled with ghosts of the past. I found someone's family photos, baby clothes and even toys. I stuffed my bag with anything I could fit in it. Some of these things would be useful to Judith and this helped me feel useful.

The place had a box full of beeswax candles, the kind you use when the power goes out. Daryl had a lighter handy, so we lit some and put them on the shelves to lighten the place up so we wouldn't trip on ourselves.

I then lay out us out a cot with a double sleeping bag, I tossed my favorite blanket I tote with me on every run as a finishing touch. It looked good enough. Daryl had opened a few of the cans and that's what we ate for dinner. No fire for the rabbits, what a bummer. (I was not bummed.)

We ate quietly. The groans coming from outside disappeared, though the rain only got harder and maybe that's why. We were closed in, nothing was getting in.

We huddled around our one lantern, and each ate a can of green peas. I finished the can and set it on the shelve just above my head. I looked over at Daryl who was also finishing up. He set his can down, away from the sleeping bed.

"Thank you, for earlier," I whispered, "I dunno why, I just froze." I started, wanting to make an excuse for my helplessness. "I shouldn't of-"

"Don't do that." He cut me off, shaking his head. "Nothing happened, and you're okay."

"I put us in danger." I retorted. I never wanted to put Daryl in danger, and he was so much better at the whole apocalypse thing than me.

"Hey, hey, look at me," He hummed, his tone smooth. I met his longing gaze. "we're in danger just by being out here, so it doesn't matter." He took my hand in his, our fingers intertwined. "I would never let anythin' happen to you... no matter what. It's you over everything, over everyone. You know that, right?" The look on his face was coated with sincerity, the flickering lights from the candles bounced on his skin. He was emulating complete and utter warmth.

If it wasn't for Daryl today, I might've ended up walker food. I replayed the moment in my head, the guilt still eating at me, "I never want anything to happen to you." I managed to choke out. I rested my forehead on his shoulder. he took me into his embrace, I squeezed him, and he squeezed back, tighter.

I thought about the man beside me, how he defended me and loved me. He'd take a bullet for me, and we both knew that. But did he know I would do the same for him though?

"I'm not going anywhere." He whispered. I glanced back up at him and pulled his face down to kiss me, brushing my lips to his, he placed his hand on my hip. I broke away for a moment, our eyes pulled together. Wanting to top that, but he crashed his lips to mine.

My hands snaked around his neck, and as our kiss grew more heated, he pulled me on top of him. His hands roamed my body, trying to make skin to skin contact. I ripped my jacket off, not even daring to break the kiss, my hands found their way back around his neck. He tried pulling me closer, grinding my hips below his torso. I ripped right through his vest, leaving him exposed. He smirked, trying to catch his breath, he pulled at my shirt, wanting it gone. He got it over my head and threw it away. He started kissing my neck and biting me softly. I loved when he did that. But I wanted his mouth on mine, and I tilted my head with his, he let my lips touch his and they moved in sync.

Our mouths stayed glued together as I fiddled with his belt and zipper. It didn't take long for me to find his hard-on, I rubbed him gently through his briefs, he groaned. I lifted up off him and removed my shorts, He moved my underwear to the side, and his own down, his cock shot up and his fingers grazed my warmth making sure I was wet. He hummed when he touched me, growing more eager to stick it in. He held his cock in place as I eased onto it. Letting out a breath of pleasure as I felt him enter me.

he started guiding my hips, rocking me back and forth, Daryl loved being in control, even if I was the one on top. He bit his lip, trying not to moan. His dick pushed deeper into me, and I couldn't help but make noise. I brought my lips to his, thinking it would mask my cries. It got harder as we sunk into each other. Whimpers leaving my throat, moans escaping through our kiss. He pushed me down, bucking his hips, I straddled him, and he wrapped his arms around my back, switching our position. He was on top now and I was floating below him. My shoulders barely touching the ground, He rested on his knees, his hands clinging to my waist, he began pounding into me. I whined as I felt his tip hit my cervix over and over again.

His breathing was heavy, and he cursed under his breath, He leaned in, my whole body on the ground now, my legs wrapped around his torso as he wrapped his arms around me. All I could do was plead with my whines. We were so passionate, yet making love with such haste like we didn't have all night. Daryl just knew what he was doing; and no one, not even before, could make me feel this good. I cursed under my breath as my body began to fill with pleasure, my nails digging into his skin, he knew I was close and sped up, with every thrust I could feel my climax getting closer. I bit his shoulder, if I made any more noise, I might attract walkers. his rapid breathing heavy in my ear, he sucked on my neck and left kisses in-between.

In the midst of our passion, Daryl pulled out and released onto my stomach, my release following, my chest was heaving up and down as I laid there on the cot. Daryl whipped the sweat from his brow and stood up, grabbing my shirt and shorts for me. He kissed me slowly as he handed me my things, and then kissed my forehead.

I put my clothes back on and he buttoned his vest back up, he laid down beside me, his head resting on his arms. and I followed, resting my head on his bicep, he pulled me in, I could still feel the heat steaming off his skin, he still had a few breaths to catch, I smiled at him, "I've been thinking about doing that all damn day." He admitted. He wrapped his body around mine and we just laid there, listening to the heavy rain on the metal roof. We started drifting off and fell asleep in each other's arms.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

wp: thewriterdoll

[cal-flakes]

hey so I was wondering if I could request a rafe fic where the two don't really like each other (maybe she's sarah's friend but he picked on her growing up) and reader is walking home alone one night and realizes someone is following her and panics and walks faster and everything until she sees rafe ahead of her and catches up with him and he can see she's genuinely worried so he goes into full protective mode and walks her home

if you want to change it at all, feel free, I'm just a sucker for a knight-in-shining-armor moment haha

I LOOOOOVE THIS!!!!!

╰┈➤ protective!rafe takes you home

warnings: nothing tbh.

summary: rafe walks y/n home after she’s followed by someone in the dark.

the cool breeze in the air blew past her as she clutched her arms to her chest. the wind whistled through the trees around her while she walked down the poorly lit street.

her footsteps slowed as she attempted to catch a noise she thought she heard. her breath hitched as she glanced behind her, a strange hooded man followed behind a few feet away.

“it’s fine, it’s just a coincidence..” she muttered to herself, walking at a slightly quicker pace.

this carried on for a little while as she went out of her way to take off down side streets and shortcuts, essentially doing a full loop of the neighbourhood she was walking through.

her heart thumped furiously in her chest, all sorts of scenarios going through her mind. as she turned the corner, she looked back to the man, still following her.

her eyes brimmed with tears as she scanned the streets for people, there was nobody around, why would there be? it was four m-thirty in the morning.

the only reason she was out at this time was because of an argument with her dad, they’d gotten into it back at home and he told her to get out. with this, she’d quickly packed an overnight bag, thinking of somewhere to go.

unfortunately, in the rush, she’d left her phone behind, so the only place she knew to go was sarah’s.

y/n has always been close with the cameron’s, she’d stay with sarah whenever her dad was out of town, and rose and ward were always happy to take her in for a few days.

her shoulder ached as the bag strap dug into her skin, her eyes were frantic. it would be a miracle of someone appeared, anyone.

and a miracle it was, when she spotted rafe cameron outside the wreck. “fuck..” she whispered.

he was her only option right now. she hated the idea, but what else could she do?

rafe and y/n didn’t particularly hate eachother, but they certainly disliked eachother. he was always mean growing up, going to great lengths just to piss her off. but surely he’d do her this favour, right?

between glancing at the man, who was gaining on her, she mustered up the courage to yell for him.

“rafe! hey, rafe!” she shouted, throwing her arms up in a wave. the man in the distance turned, brows furrowed as she sped towards him.

“y/n?” he questioned, utterly confused.

as she got closer, he noticed her glassy eyes, tear marks trailed down her cheeks. she engulfed him in a hug, pulling her mouth to his ear.

“i need you to pretend to be my boyfriend, please?” she begged, breathlessly holding onto him for dear life.

peaking over her shoulder he spotted a man following closely, eyeing the pair. his jaw clenched as he watched the guy cross the road, staring directly at him.

the man stopped at a bench across from them, glaring at rafe.

as there bodies separated, y/n’s eyes widened as rafe pulled her into a kiss, tangling a hand in her hair.

pulling away, the shock subsided as he intertwined their hands. “i’ve been waiting for you forever y/n! where’ve you been?” he asked, raising his voice enough for the man to hear him.

rafe’s car keys appeared in his hand as he lead her around the corner, towards his car.

once they were out of earshot, he turned towards her. “what the fuck are you doing out at this time?”

y/n burst into tears before he could finish, leaning into his chest. “thank you! thank you so much! that guy, he-he was following me the whole time, m-my dad kicked me out!” she wailed, sobbing as he wrapped an arm around her.

he ushered her into the passenger side, doing her seatbelt for her. “where am i taking you?” he asked awkwardly, her sobs invaded his mind as his knuckles whitened against the steering wheel.

god knows, he didn’t like his little sisters friends but the thought of someone trying to bring her harm? he was absolutely furious.

“oh, um, your house please? that’s where I was trying to go in the first place.” she muttered, her words muffled slightly as he cupped her own face.

he reached over tentatively, pushing some stray hairs behind her ear. “okay, your safe now okay? i’ve got you”

[harufluff]

hiii i just had a thought about jungwon🧍can i request for jungwon when he and you are outside and your hand feels freezing cold so won is like … “why didn’t you bring gloves with you” and you admit that you just wanted to hold his hand without gloves (maybe each person can share one of won’s gloves and hold hands with the ungloved hand) 🫶 thank youuu ❤️

AWWWW hold on wait. i hope i executed this well.

‘one for each’ yang jungwon

warnings - idk let me know if there is anything.

genre - fluffyness, jungwon x fem!reader, enhypen x reader, established relationship au

wc - 0.6k

‘let’s get some hot cocoa, babe!!’

jungwon enthusiastically says, while pointing out the hot cocoa cart with the little old lady along with another young women making and handing out warm drinks. you nod with a smile on your face as jungwon hooks his arm with yours.

how you got their in the first place is simple. you wanted to go to the park with your lovely boyfriend and walk around together.

as you walk up the stand and jungwon begins to speak to the old lady and ordering for you and himself.

‘babe, what would you like?’

your eyes dart up to his questioning face.

‘oh just hot cocoa, please.’

jungwon simply looks at the lady and she shuffles to the other side of the stand to prepare you your drinks.

he pulls you over, again by the arm, and the two of you sit down on the low metal fence separating the path from the trees.

‘are you having fun, love?’

his head tilts as he asks you a simple question. you nod at him with a small smile. thankfully you are so good at covering up the fact that you’re freezing your butt off.

his glove covered hand comes out of his pocket and is held out in front of you, offering you the option to hold his hand. why you just stare at his hand with wide eyes, you couldn’t say.

‘are you ok? why are you just looking at my hand.’

jungwon says with a laugh. his eyes turning into crescents quickly.

'uhm...i dont want to hold your hand.'

you say while looking in his opposite direction order to shield yourself from the soon coming teasing. but all that happens is silence. jungwon doesn't say anything. and when you look back at him to see the cause of his sudden silence, all you see is the boy you love pouting at you.

'why?'

he asks sweetly. you give in and go in for a hug. your arms hook around his waist and his body stiffens in response. why did you not want to hold his hand? was it sweaty? did you not love him as much anymore??

as the overthinker he is, his brain went into a spiral of negative thoughts. but then he thought of your hands. his eyes widened a bit and he put his larger hands on top of your bare ones.

wait…no gloves? is that what it was?

he pried your arms away from his waist and put your cold hands on his checks. your face turned into a surprised expression as you tried to pull you hands away from his face.

‘jungwon? why are you doing that!! my hands are freezing!’

‘exactly. that’s why i’m doing this.’

faint blush spread to your cheeks as he leaned his face further into your touch. suddenly your boyfriends eyes opened with a small smirk on his face.

‘here.’

he says before taking one of his gloves off and putting it on your hand. honestly your hands were too small for them but warm none the less.

he took your ungloved hand in his hand that also didn’t have a glove and kept walking still waiting for your hot cocoa.

‘so how did you forget your gloves exactly? i mean i did leave them right by your scarf which you are wearing…’

he said with his smirk growing more than before. you kept silent while walking straight along with him.

‘are you sure it wasn’t for another reason other than forgetfulness?’

at this point you were already a tomato. no questions asked.

‘ok fine i just wanted to hold your hand. it’s not the same with gloves.’

he just kept walking with a smile.

‘two hot cocoas?’ the lady yells out.

‘well now, there’s one for each of us. let’s go get out drinks.’

©️harufluff 2023

haru’s note 📝 - look, ik it’s summer but it’s ok cause i finally finished it after too long.

[twice-inamillion]

Playing In The Future Home

Fluff and Smut

1.4 K words

(Jihyo and OC making new memories)

"I can't wait to see where we are going to build our future house," Jihyo said as she looked outside the window. The two of you are on your way to visit the plot of land that you showed her before through FaceTime. 

"Minji gave me the keys to the gate so we can park the car inside and walk around." Jihyo puts up her hands closer, "Look, my hand is shaking from how excited I am right now." 

"Don't be nervous. I know you are going to like it. We are almost there; just a couple more minutes."

You exit the highway and immediately make a left turn. Then drive down the windy road up a small hill and turn right into a private road. Only two hundred feet into a private road filled with trees and bushes, you are met with a large metal gate, "I'm going to open the gate; I'll be right back." Once the gate is open, you drive inside and close the gate around before driving again. The dirty road eventually leads you to a grass-filled field, "we're here." 

The two of you get out of the car; Jihyo walks around for a bit as you get your backpack and binder. "What do you think?"

"It's amazing, and it's big. I love the trees and bushes that surround the entrance." 

"Yes, Minji said that the previous owner fenced the entire estate so their animals wouldn't get out. Makes it easier for us because it ensures our privacy."

 You take out your binder and show Jihyo some sketches that you and Minji worked on for the past two days. "Look, here are some examples of the potential layout," as you point at the 2D view of the whole estate. "This right here is the layout of the entrance layout just came in front, and we are standing here," as you point at the spot you are standing in. "The lot is huge, and it does have a slight hill towards the back and trees throughout the lot. What Minji and I thought was to keep the entrance untouched, just grass and the house in the middle. Because the area has so much space, we have the option of a one-story house that has spread out or a two-story house. We can also have detached buildings like a music room and multiple guest houses away from the main house but still close. We can even have a large pool with a building on its own, but we would need to childproof it. We have a lot of options to make this place perfect. Towards the back of the lot are multiple trees and a small stream that runs across the end of the property." 

The both of you walk around, and Jihyo tries to visualize the house with the binder in her hands. "I like it, and I think the members will be happy. When do you think we can buy it and start building?"

"I talked to Minji about it, and she said that the owner has wanted to sell the property for a while since all his family has moved to the city abroad and has no more use for it. Regarding the building, we can talk to a few contractors and get the permits ready after we buy the property. Shouldn't be too long, but it all depends on the layout of the house."

"The faster, the better; I can just see the babies running around and having fun with each other. I want Jisoo to have a memorable childhood and grow up safe without the eyes of the public on her and the rest."

"She will; just imagine her playing with the twins on a swing or going down the slide. It's going to be perfect." You hold her hand and start to walk, "let me show you the best part." The both of you walk up toward the end of the property, where you see a hill surrounded by numerous trees. There is a special tree that is much older than the rest, and as you both get closer, Jihyo is amazed by its size, "Wow, the tree is huge." 

"The tree isn't the only thing; turn around." Jihyo turns to see a fantastic view of the landscape. Her future is right before her, and the rest of the world is in the background. "Omg, the view is wonderful. Thank you, oppa," hugging you. 

"Everything here is for us, our future. You deserve the whole world, and I will try my best to give you that." Jihyo tears up from happiness, and the both of you share a passionate kiss. 

"Thank you." 

After settling down, you both sit on the blanket and snacks you brought and enjoy a bottle of wine. Jihyo, a good drinker, enjoys the wine more than you and, little by little, gets tipsy. "Oppa, want to mess around a little bit? We're alone, so we can have a little fun," giving you a sexy wink.

"For you, I'm able to go all the way." 

She pushes you down, gets on top of you, and starts to unbutton your shirt. "Don't do anything; I'll take care of everything and just enjoy." With your chest exposed, she kisses every inch of you, "oppa, you have a manly chest; I love it." 

You give a soft moan as she kisses your neck, "Jihyo, it hurts." 

Jihyo looks down and sees the large bulge in your pants, "Oh wow, hard already?"

"It's just that you're too sexy, I can't help it."

She undoes your pants and fishes out your cock. "Don't worry, little fellow; you'll get your turn soon enough." Once she's done with your neck, she stands up and pulls down her leggings and panties. Jihyo sits on your shaft, causing you to moan, "Ahhh, you're bending my cock." 

"Hmmm, I can feel your cock throbbing, but it's not time yet," as she begins to grind on you. The feeling of her lips hugging your cock throws you over the edge, and Jihyo knows it. "How do you like that? You like it when I grind my pussy on your cock?"

"Jihyo, please don't tease; let me put in it." 

"Just a bit longer," as she increases the pace. She puts more of her weight on your cock, causing you to moan in pain. "Fuck, I can feel your hot cock throbbing. You're such a bad boy, but good job on holding on. Here is your reward." 

Jihyo grabs your cock and lifts herself, aligning it to her entrance. You watch as the head of your cock spreads her lips apart, causing you to gasp, "Fuck, you're so tight." She drops her whole weight, and her cunt swallows you whole, "Ahh… fuck, you're cumming already?"

You grab her waist and hold her tight, "take all of my cum!" She places her hands on your chest and digs her nails as she begins to ride you as you cum inside her. "Let it all out; I'll milk you of all you're worth." 

You see her lustful eyes, the eyes of someone who's found her prey. She rides you as you cum, her tits swaying from side to side, "come on baby, do you like how I ride your big cock? Your cock that's filling me up with baby batter. Stay hard for me, okay." 

Jihyo, with her head on your chest, can hear your heavy breathing, she knows that she has you in her hands. "You think you can go for another round?"

“Ye…yeah… I… I can."

She sits back up, ties her hair in a ponytail, looks you in the eyes, and begins to ride you once more. You can help you move your gaze, but she says, "Don't, look at me. You're mine." 

All you hear now is the noise of flesh grinding against each other, Jihyo's tight walls choking your cock. 

She rides you for about five minutes until you cum once, filling her womb with baby batter. "Yeah… just like that. Fill me up with your cum” as she tightens up her cunt. Once she's done milking you for the second, she lifts herself up and lays beside you. 

Haven gotten a happy ending you look at her erect nipple and attach yourself you it. "Aww, my poor baby, there, there. Suck on mommy's tits until you're full, okay" as she caresses your head. You fall asleep attached to her breast as Jihyo hugs you tight in her arms.