#fUCK I LOVE THIS MONOLOGUE

[vaguely-concerned]

the strength it must have taken for illario to not immediately go full 'lmao since when have you even had a kiss hello lucanis' sibling violence mode during the café talk. inspirational. rook and lucanis really were doing all that right in front of his salad huh

[lazycranberrydoodles]

english translation book 5 baby we are in the ‘people assuming kid form hua cheng is xie lian’s son’ era 🔥🔥🔥 / follow for more hualian silliness

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

On the one hand Silco ABSOLUTELY DID NOT deserve what Vander did to him, it was absolutely horrific and he is such a tragic character.

On the other hand, given how this mf monologues constantly and makes it his life mission to cause maximum psychic damage to anyone he interacts with at all times, it's a bit of a shock he didn't get throttled sooner

[lemonavocado]

"oh i love frankenstein! my favorite quote from the novel is i have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine-" grabs you by the throat and chokes you violently

[scribz-ag24]

something about how they talk to each other at the beginning of se5 drives me hysterical

this part in particular also. he gives not a single fuck about dusknoir's meltdown.

[necrotic-nephilim]

what's fun about shipping Tim with Dick, Jason, or Damian is he has, at some point, hallucinated all of them to comfort himself. even when he doesn't like them or particularly get along with them, he has to imagine/hallucinate them just so he has the power to go on. Tim's concepts of the Robin mantle and what it should be is so fun, because he respects the others through the Robin mantle. Tim worships Dick because he was the first Robin. he wouldn't be Robin if Jason hadn't died in the mantle. and a lot of his frustration with Damian is he feels Damian isn't honoring the mantle correctly. when you ship Tim with the other Robins you can't divorce their identities as Robin from it because Tim will always see them as a Robin first and that's so fun and fucked up. like.

batman (1940) #456

Tim perceiving Dick as *Robin* cheering him on, not Nightwing, which is the version of Dick that Tim actually knows? that's just. wild of him. he will always view Dick as Robin first, his personal hero but also the original of the legacy. his love for Dick is shaped by that.

and then of course, even when he's hallucinating/imagining Jason cheering him on, it's *still* through the lense of being reminded how Jason failed? subconsciously believing that Jason got himself killed because of his actions, and that being a lesson for Tim to learn from? Jason isn't a person to Tim, he's a moral lesson about how to be Robin. any potential idolization he could have of Jason isn't because he loves Jason, it's because of the lessons Jason's death taught him.

and then, even though him hallucinating TIm is from the New-52, which makes characterization all kinds of questionable, i do think it makes sense for TIm to hallucinate/imagine Damian after Damian's death in an attempt to cope with it.

teen titans (2011) #18

to an extend, he sees Damian's death as in part his own fault. and even hating Damian, Tim needs the comfort from this to cope with Damian being gone. he's angry that Damian even was Robin, and has to learn something from Damian's death and how it impacts the Robin mantle, and teenage heroes as a whole. like, Tim can pretend he hates Damian all he wants, even getting taunted by the image of Damian, but there's still an underlying love to their relationship.

i think that's just the fun of shipping Tim with any of them. you will never divorce Tim's views of them from the Robin mantle and how fucking Unwell he is about anyone else who's been Robin before or after him, to the point he has to hallucinate them comforting him when he's at his lowest. it's always going to be a little unhealthy, a little toxic, and driven by Tim's relationship with being Robin as well. i need more Tim being weird about Robin in these ships.

[dewwshi]

can't remember when i realized i was in love (la-la-love) can't remember who it was i was thinking of

[fiddler-on-the-starship]

I apologize for the shit quality I have never made gifs before but I strongly felt that this moment needed to exist in gif set form.

[nausicaaandhermouth]

"I understand now the message hidden with the pattern, the reason for our failures in the commune. The doctor was right: it's inescapable. Humanity, our very essence, our emotions. Rage. Compassion. Hate. Two sides of the same coin. Inextricably bound. That which inspires us to our greatest good is also the cause of our greatest evil." Viktor, End Monologue, Episode 6 Season 2

[bluemerakis]

IM CRYING THE CONTRAST IN OUR TAKES ON JENSEN’S NEWEST POST 😭😭😭😭 @gibson-g1rl

this is us and the energy we brought btw (try to guess who was who — edition: difficult)

[mxqiulin]

anyway i'm taking this as literal canon evidence of transmasc jeremy and 🥚 transfem pran

[chirpsythismorning]

Can we talk about how Jonathan might've been able to clock Mike simply because of what happened with him and Nancy in season two?

This will be a long post, so you might want to strap in or save it for later.

In Will and Mike's case, it would obviously be much different from Jonathan and Nancy's situation, given that you know, they're gay. But we still have Jonathan arguably going through a similar experience as Will, while Mike is going through a similar experience as Nancy.

In s2, we see Nancy confront Jonathan about how she waited for him before getting back with Steve, which is a revelation to him. Then they're at Murray's and she's struggling to say she loves Steve, after a handful of moments between them that felt like she might return Jonathan’s feelings. And you can clearly see it in his eyes, listening to Murray imply that they have feelings for each other, with him looking back and forth sort of in awe of what's happening, like he's starting to question if she might actually like him back.

Will doesn't have that same affordance as Jonathan to really hope, at least not anymore. Which is why these relationships in s2 and s4 end differently for these two brothers.

Based on all the signs he was seeing that Nancy felt the same, Jonathan decided to take the plunge to admit to Nancy how he felt, and at that same moment Nancy had the courage to show how she felt. In Will and Mike's case, Will wasn't ready to take the plunge to admit to Mike how he felt, at the same moment Mike didn't have the courage to show how he felt.

What's so painfully hilarious to me about all of this though, is that Jonathan arguably starts the season in the same shoes as most of the audience, where from his perspective, it's becoming obvious to him now that Will like's Mike, but that Mike does not feel the same way.

First at Rink-O-Mania, Mike appears a little uncomfortable upon hugging Will. Then as the happy couple continues on their adventure into Rink-O-Mania, he watches Will lagging behind moping. And then unfortunately he's out of commission for the rest of the evening...

But once he's sober and back to being an attentive brother the following morning, we see him watching them at breakfast, with Mike barely sparing Will a glance, all while Will is blatantly staring, almost like he's waiting for Mike to look back, only for Mike to get up and walk away.

All of these instances gotta be SCREAMING unrequited gay love to Jonathan. He's already gotten signs for years that Will is gay, these are now just the signs that are instilling his suspicions that Will has feelings for Mike. He could have easily interpreted their relationship in the early seasons as young best friends, with Will seeming to have a crush on Mike, and with them growing up and that potentially including Will's straight friend distancing himself from him because he doesn't feel the same. It's not the most unexpected thing in the world considering.

But then there's a shift.

Suddenly he's creeping up on them talking in his room. And we know he was listening in on the conversation because he brings up Owens when he sits down. As he's eavesdropping, he's probably thinking something innocent like Aww they're making up! And like, hey! Even if Mike doesn't feel the same, which is okay and entirely expected honestly, at least he still cares about Will enough to make things right after acting so out of character. Still, I'm not gonna lie, that sounded a lot like flirting to me--

Then he's knocking on Will's door like 30 minutes or less later only to find Mike and Will back on their bullshit. Mike suddenly isn't going out of his way to ignore or put Will on the back burner. In fact, he's on his bed and they're talking, again! The door is even closed this time, which is interesting. This has gotta be a good sign in Jon's eyes. Nothing to worry about! Right? Right...?

But then suddenly this shift continues, going in a direction he probably didn't expect.

I mean, this is literally an identical jancy parallel we have here with byler on the hood of the car, with Jonathan right there to witness it. Despite him maybe only now subconsciously picking up on the similarities between Will and Mike to him and Nancy here, he's at least taking note (I mean he's even got his gay map out and everything).

It isn't until the van scene happens, that I think Jonathan starts to genuinely consider his suspicions, which is that Mike might actually like Will back.

EVERY time we get a shot of Jonathan looking back at Will and Mike in the van, followed by a shot of his POV from the rearview mirror, we're faced with Mike looking at Will while Will is looking away.

As Jonathan is hearing Will confirm his suspicions about his feelings for Mike, he's simultaneously witnessing Mike not looking at Will with disgust, but something more akin to reverence. All of those moments in the van that we witnessed, including all the ways Mike looked at Will and everything that was said, Jonathan was right there.

And what's even more insane about this scene, is that it circles back to Jonathan as a character himself.

I remember when people were talking about how odd it was that we never saw Jonathan with a camera in s4. After 3 seasons in a row of making his passion for photography a big part of his identity, that part of him was apparently absent entirely this time around... But was it really?

This is the same guy that said, "Sometimes, people don't really say what they're really thinking. But you capture the right moment, it says more."

Jonathan might not have had his camera in s4, but this was without a doubt one of those moments where he captured something more.

Something that I also think get's highly overlooked about this scene, especially when it comes to Jonathan looking back at them, being followed by a shot of Mike staring at Will, is that he could see both of their reactions the whole time, from beginning to end. Will nor the audience had the affordance of knowing because Will was facing the other way at the end, while we on the other-hand were blurred from even having the chance, despite Mike literally being in the frame. But not Jonathan. He even lets us see what he sees, a few times, but not at the very end, which would have been nice after they didn't let us see Mike's reaction seconds before this.

Let's just stop right there for a second though and circle back to what I consider to be the first time Jonathan really picked up on Will's feelings for Mike, which was at the end of s3, in a sequence that is a little too relevant to the van scene if you ask me, given that they are almost direct parallels.

While these parallels are pretty spot on visually, they are also near spot on narratively when it comes to the evolution each of these characters are experiencing.

For Will in the first scene, it's sadness that he's moving away from his friends in Hawkins and also feeling like he's losing Mike, after what looks like him and El making up, which makes him scared he'll distance himself again. For Jonathan, it's sympathy for his brother who appears to have some very deep feelings for his friend, feelings he can't quite grasp yet but soon enough will.

For Will in the second scene, it's heartbreak that he has to accept that Mike will never feel the same, knowing that supporting his relationship with El (encouraging it honestly) will likely turn out just as it did last time, with him losing Mike all over again, for the last time. For Jonathan it's sympathy for his brother who has now confirmed his suspicions that the feelings he has for Mike are more than just that of a friend.

Given that this parallel reinforces the same feelings Will and Jonathan had in s3 to now, why would this not also reinforce those same feelings that Mike had in s3 to now?

In the first scene, Mike was visibly distraught, with dialogue from Hopper in the background applying a little too perfectly with what he was feeling in that moment, which was scared. He’s apparently back together with El now, despite them doing just fine as friends for the last 3 months, as well as him and Will just having finally gone back to them being on good terms again. But now, it’s like he’s right back where he started at the beginning of s3, feeling obligated to be the perfect boyfriend to El, and as a result, having no choice in his eyes but to distance himself from Will. Mike then walks into his house looking like a zombie, almost emotionless stepping into his mother's embrace.

Now, I say almost emotionless because it looks like Mike was trying to hold back showing how he truly felt in this moment. He's not crying like he did in s1 when he lost Will that first time. Time has passed and things have changed (he doesn't want things to change). And he's trying his best to keep it together. But the in-focus close-ups make it clear that he is definitely not okay.

What's so impactful about these parallels is that it presents the inner struggle both of these characters are having, both queer and experiencing doubts, but in different ways and for different reasons.

Will is the one who covers it all up with lies, hiding the tears in his eyes, because boys don't cry.

Mike is the one who has never cried to them, just to his soul (RUN AWAY! TURN AWAY! RUN AWAY! TURN AWAY! RUN AWAY!!!).

If you actually try to get a gage on Mike's in-focus emotions in that first scene vs. his out-of-focus emotions in that second scene, well they're not that far off from each other.

We go from Mike smiling vibrantly at Will, to him now slowly turning away to look back down at the painting, with whatever the hell emotion this is...

It's near impossible to catch because of how out-of-focus it is, but looking a lot closer, it honestly appears like Mike is feeling something akin to sadness that he's trying to mask. For a moment it even looks like he turns his head to wince emotionally, only to correct himself.

And call me crazy, but these shots also low-key parallel each other. Mike looking down trying to keep his emotions in check and failing miserably, only to look up and meet eyes with someone whose witnessing it.

With each shot before this of Jonathan observing Mike looking at Will, with him showing all the emotions Will never got to see and everything else in between, I wonder what Jon saw this time? Probably another thing he didn't expect.

Can you just try to imagine the silence in this van, accompanied by Will's muffled sobs, and then try to imagine Mike turning to look down at the painting, only to sneak a glance, and then go right back to looking at the painting, IN SILENCE, and then try to tell me how the assumption that Mike didn’t notice Will crying makes any sense, like realistically?

Yeah me and Jonathan are confused too.

Right now, Jonathan's probably wondering why Mike was acting a little fruity and repressed during the painting reveal. And that although he may have a penchant for being able to 'capture the right moment', Mike is sticking with his story (despite all the stalling and doubt). He is 100% straight!

And so maybe this is where Jonathan tries to accept what is being presented to him as the truth, despite the contradictions in front of him. It's likely that despite the way Mike looks at Will and acts around him, in ways he would have assumed coming from Nancy in s2 would've been evidence that she felt the same, it probably doesn't apply to Mike.

Maybe Jonathan's ready to accept that it's a lot more likely Will is experiencing unrequited love as a gay kid growing up in a small town, the most predictable experience a gay kid could go through, and in contrast Mike just feels too bad to let Will down easy.

Or who knows, maybe Mike could still be a little bit gay too...

But it doesn't matter anyways. Mike seems to be adamant about this and so there's really nothing else Jonathan can he do besides tell his brother he'll be there for him no matter what. And so he does just that.

But then Mike just has to surprise him one last time.

For those that don't know, the line Mike gives here in his monologue was in part pulled from Will's monologue in the van. Most don't know this because this line didn't make the final cut for the van scene, but in the official script the writers posted, what we find is an almost a direct parallel.

Which makes the reaction shots of Will and Jonathan directly after Mike says this all the more epic.

From Will's end he was probably hearing Mike say this and just thinking 'Damn. Well, that's what you get for using your feelings to inspire Mike to profess his love to El.'

But from Jonathan's end, I don't think his outside POV of these events overlapping was nearly as naive as his brothers understanding of the events. Because why the fuck would Mike need to use Will's feelings to inspire him to profess his love to El in the first place? Is this what Mike has been struggling with? Really? Why before every moment Mike takes action in this scene, is Will's hand literally pushing him into it? Why is Mike being so dramatic about saying I love you, stuttering and rambling about her being a superhero, not saying nearly as meaningful of things as what Will said in the van?

And then it hits him.

Mike is reminding him a little too much of another Wheeler right now...

Nancy Wheeler, who was afraid of what would happen if she accepted herself for who she really was, leading her to retreat back to the safety of Steve. Because Nancy liked Steve, but she didn't love Steve.

And now here is Mike Wheeler, who has went from being incredibly distant with Will after reuniting with El, something that is very unlike the Mike he knew in previous seasons, to something more himself again after they make up, with him looking at Will with adoration after hearing his words in the van, only to turn away and look heartbroken. Mike who is now struggling to simply tell El he loves her with Will right behind him literally yelling at him to do it.

And now it's like all those little moments are starting to add up to Jonathan.

Suddenly all those signs he picked up on from Will when he was younger are now blending in with moments Will shared with Mike. It was Mike who jumped in after him and his mom's speech to Will in the shed in s2, with tears in his eyes recalling the day that they met (without being asked, let alone pushed to). And it's Mike who is now looking like he's at war with himself as he attempts to give encouragement to El, just like he did with Will in s2, but this time he needs someone to push him to do it, and that person just so happens to be Will. After just finding out about Will's feelings and also while assuming El wants him to love her that way still, Mike is stuck.

I don't think it's takes a genius to consider Jonathan is capable of realizing how fucked they all are in this situation.

As much as Mike isn't ready for a sleuth of reasons, Will isn't ready either.

This provides a huge contrast between the bylers ², because while Jonathan and Nancy went through a similar experience to Will and Mike, them being ready to accept it and act on it didn't involve nearly as many factors and risks. Will and Mike also have the added barrier that is homophobia.

Will's internalized homophobia lies in part with assuming Mike could never feel the same based on some of the words he said in their last two fights, with parts being painfully reminiscent of the things his dad and bullies used to say about him. These are also words that contradict Mike's own words and actions from the previous seasons, things that did once give Will hope. The shame and guilt that comes with falling for your best friend, who you now know will never feel the same after being foolish enough to believe it not too long ago, and who might not even want to be your friend anymore upon finding out the truth, is understandable. He can't have hope like Jonathan can. It's just not the same.

Mike's internalized homophobia lies with assuming El wants him to love her, along with their relationship being expected and socially acceptable from everyone around him. Though unfortunately for her he feels abundantly more in love in the moments he shares with Will. Despite trying to make it work with El as hard as he could, because she's amazing and all any guy could hope for in a girlfriend, he can't ignore the fact that the feelings he has for these two people are different. The shame and guilt that comes with you, a boy, falling for your best friend, who is also a boy, and who is starting to show that he feels the same, all while you can't muster up the courage to break up with your girlfriend, nor can you muster up the courage to tell her that you love her, not when she's begging you, dying or even just simply at the end of a letter, is pretty understandable too. He can't have hope like Nancy can. It's just not the same.

Spoiler: They were not ready.

PS: I'm still not over the fact that they low-key confirmed these events elsewhere in the story...

[averycutesalamander]

ok uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh pseudoincest under the cut again. and uh. general nsft content. see previous post for more context lol

ok. the club scene. im doing all of these snippets as regular text instead of screenshots bc there's too damn much lol.

so before you get there there's this bit:

You dress a lot sluttier than is strictly necessary. Heels, fishnets, a low-cut crop top, a tight leather jacket, a truly obscene miniskirt – the whole nine yards. The jacket is probably your favorite part; it frames your bust so perfectly that the instant you try it on, you know you'll have to keep it. You spruce it up with some colored bracelets and a bit of extra jewelry, but as a whole, it speaks for itself. …The collar is probably the most egregious part of the whole outfit. You don't get a custom name tag, though, which is comforting in the sense that it makes you feel like a little less of a freak. It could be worse. It's just to fit in. Obviously. Just to fit in.

(and i havent written it yet but trust me when i tell you that this poor man almost has a fucking stroke when he sees you JHABWJHABFJHBFJ)

so you both get there and you're doing some scouting, right. and you notice that occasionally some individual people or couples will go past this guarded door, and they all have these bracelets that have a really particular pattern. so obviously bracelet = some kinda passkey probably. he also recognizes one of the people that goes through as one of the people behind the operation, so that just confirms that the underground area is through there. so you send him off to go yoink a bracelet from somebody when they're alone, and you chill by the bar to keep an eye out. and then a guy walks up and starts chatting you up.

"You're new here, right?" the stranger asks. Your heart jumps into your throat, and your nervous laugh isn't entirely for show. "What gave it away?" "I'm here pretty often." He leans in with a smirk. "And new blood always has a particular look when they walk in here." Then, his gaze falls down to your collar, and his grin widens even further. "No leash, huh?" Your face flushes with heat at the thought, because now you're thinking about Boothill holding your leash, and holy shit, you need to cut that out right the fuck now. You laugh with no small amount of awkwardness, fiddling with your hands as you look away. "Oh, I, um… didn't think to put one on, honestly." He hums, taking a sip of his drink. "Well, hey," he begins, reaching back into his pocket. Then, to your horror, he pulls out a leather leash, black with red designs; before you can even blink, he leans forward and clips it onto your collar with all the ease of breathing. Your mortification multiplies ten times over when he twists the length of it around his wrist, forcing you closer. "Fresh meat gets freebies," he says flirtily, grinning like the cat that got the cream.

and that's when boothill gets back. and he's fucking PISSED.

"Back off," he snarls, low and dangerous, like the rumble of thunder that signals an incoming storm. "C'mon, man, we're just having a little–" Boothill grabs him by the collar, his eyes gleaming red like blood, his bared teeth glinting in the club lights. "I don't share." You swear your heart stops dead in your chest. You did not just feel a pulse in your core. You did not just have a shiver run up your spine. You are being so, so normal right now. You are having a completely normal reaction. The stranger suddenly pales, letting you go without missing a beat. "H– Hey, woah. Sorry, I just thought– With the bracelet–" Oh. Oh, fuck. Your fucking bracelets. You tug quickly at Boothill's sleeve, starting to sweat at the feeling of eyes on you. "C'mon, let him go." You feel like a cornered prey animal when he turns his gaze to you, his eyes smoldering like coals in the dim light. "You think I'm just gonna let him–" God, you want to strangle him. You grab his jacket and yank him close as you lean forward. Then, you hiss in his ear, "They think you're my dom, and they think ya wanna share me." You bite hard on your lip when he chokes, no doubt sprinting through every stage of grief just like you did only moments ago. "They probably use color codes to know if someone is down to share or not, and I'm a fuckin' moron, and I didn't think about my bracelets."

so then the two of you skitter off, feeling EXTREMELY awkward, and then. and then. and thenahbwdawjdhabwjdhab

(for some reason this part does not want to indent so just pretend it's indented)

-

You can feel the prickle of suspicious eyes on you.

Shit. Someone saw that fuck-up. Anyone legitimate would know the color codes, and the fact that you didn't calls the whole thing into question. If they give your invites a second glance, it wouldn't be difficult to cross check to confirm your identities, and at that point you can kiss that data – and probably your life – goodbye.

You can't go for the door – not while you're being watched. You need to quell suspicions, but how?

Your horrible, wretched, disgusting mind provides a single answer, and no other.

Fuck. Fuck. You're panicking. You're panicking, and you need a second to think without having to worry about looking sketchy. And in a crowded place like this, there's really only one way to get a modicum of privacy.

You spin around, grabbing Boothill by the jacket and yanking him against you, forcing him to pin you to the wall. You're almost alarmed by how easily he follows you; surely he could've resisted, right?

…Wishful thinking. It doesn't matter.

This is for the mission. For the mission. It's for the mission.

He freezes against you, his body somehow going even more rigid than it already is, then immediately starts to pull away.

"Somebody's watchin' us," you quickly whisper. "Act like– Act like you're touchin' me. If they check our invites, we're fucked."

He swallows heavily, but he obeys; your heart leaps into your throat when he crowds closer, his arms on either side of you. His hair brushes against you as he leans down, hovering over the crook of your neck. One of his hands trails down, hovering hesitantly over your hip, and you're struck by the soul-crushing realization that you're on the verge of begging him to just fucking touch you.

For the mission. For the mission.

It's for the fucking mission.

You feel like you're going to lose your mind. You can smell him, rich and masculine and damn near identical to the way it was years and years ago, and wow, you do not appreciate the fact that you can remember that so clearly. His presence is intoxicating, so heady that it leaves you dizzy. It only gets worse when he shifts, moving until his lips are hovering right beneath your jaw, and god, fucking shit, you would do fucking anything to have him bite you right now. You want to feel his hands, his teeth, his–

"This is crazy," he mutters, and you fight to restrain a shiver when the hot wash of his breath hits your skin. "I oughta just light this whole place–"

You'll choose to believe that the spike of panic that runs through you is a reasonable fear for your safety, and not rooted in something much, much worse.

"Do not blow our cover," you hiss. "You might survive gettin' shot full a' holes, but I definitely won't."

He makes a noise that seems mildly offended. "I wouldn't let ya get shot."

"Yeah, well, I'd really rather not test it." You swallow, readjusting your hands clenched in his jacket. He's so fucking warm you can feel it radiating into you despite the distance. "And if we fuck this up now, there's no way we're ever gettin' that data."

He makes a displeased sound, something close to a growl, and holy fucking god in heaven, he's right next to your ear, and the gravel in his voice just ran straight down your spine and into your core and what in the absolute fuck is wrong with you–

"You got eyes on whoever's watchin'?" he rasps, and you startle slightly when you realize that your eyes slid closed without even realizing.

Get it together. Get it together.

"Girl at the far end of the bar, fourth seat from the left." Your palms are sweating. It only gets worse when you see the stranger move. "Fuck. She's getting up."

"Where's she goin'?"

His lips just barely brush against your skin when he speaks, and for a moment, your entire thought process is completely derailed, because you swear on your life you just felt him shiver, but–

"Focus," he growls, and your core clenches so tight that you're honestly worried you're about to pass out.

Still, you obey – and you're glad you did, because your heart leaps into your throat.

Shit. Now your nerves are reasonable.

"Toward us."

"Son of a forkin' bench," he hisses. "Sorry 'bout this, kid."

You swear your heart stops dead in your chest when he reaches down, grasping both of your thighs and hauling you up against the wall like you're lighter than air. Unthinkingly, you hook your legs around his waist, and there is absolutely no reason that you should wrap around him so perfectly, with your thighs slotting snugly against his hips. Then, he presses as close as he can without actually touching you, the chill of his metal palms biting into the tender skin of your thighs in a way that's so good it transcends words.

And then he starts to move.

He doesn't touch you, but he starts to shift his hips like he's grinding into you, and holy shit you're going to die, you're going to keel over right here, your heart is going to explode in your chest and you're going to die–

The way he has to force your thighs open to avoid making contact is fucking unbelievable. Your legs are clenching involuntarily, fighting to draw him closer, to sate the ravenous hunger building in your gut – but he doesn't budge in the slightest. He's not even straining; the power imbalance is so impossibly uneven that you're practically helpless against the sheer force of his strength. He could shift your panties to the side right here and slide into you, and you wouldn't be able to stop him – wouldn't want to stop him.

You grit your teeth, frantically trying to recenter yourself, scrambling to create some facade of normalcy.

He's your uncle. He's probably twice your fucking age, and you knew him as a kid, and you thought he was hot as a teenager, and no you didn't you definitely didn't. You're normal. You're normal, and you aren't a fucking freak, and there's nothing broken in your brain and you're so incredibly normal. You aren't wet right now. You are not wet right now. Absolutely not. There is no way. Only a fucking freak would be wet right now, and you aren't a freak, so you aren't wet.

(You don't know why you're bothering to lie to yourself. You already knew the truth.)

He's your fucking uncle, and that reminder should immediately douse the fire raging in your gut, but the fact remains that it doesn't. You're burning hotter than ever, and everything you try only feeds the flames.

Even without him touching you directly, you can feel your cunt throbbing with need, aching so badly you could cry. The strangled whine that escapes your throat isn't even for show. You need him. You need him, and isn't that fucking despicable? You want him like no one you've ever wanted before. Even with the distance, you can feel the power behind every lax stroke of his hips, and all you can think about is how he'd feel sinking into you, how he'd fill you, how he'd stretch you to your limit. You want him so bad you could die, and isn't that awful? Because you'll never, ever have him.

You're in hell. You're in hell. You have the devil looming over your shoulder and between your legs and pressing in and there's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, and–

Suddenly, he readjusts so he's holding you up with one arm – fuck, he isn't even straining – and then snatches up your leash with his newly freed hand. You think your soul almost leaves your body when he tugs on it, just hard enough to make you jolt.

"Quit squirmin'," he growls, and you swear on your life he presses closer, because the very front of his jeans brushes against the thin fabric of your panties, a ghost of pressure against your clit. And then it happens again, just a little harder,and your vision goes white – and you're honestly, truly terrified that you just fucking came, but you didn't, and you aren't sure if that's better or worse. You worry that your teeth are going to fracture with how hard you're grinding them.

"I– I'm sorry," you hiccup, and you mean it, with your entire heart and soul. You're clenching your fists so hard in his jacket that your bones ache.

His voice makes you jump, even though he sounds substantially gentler now. "Still got eyes on her?"

You make a confused noise before you can fully process the question, and then embarrassment hits you full-force, clarity hitting you like a brick. Right. Obviously, that's… Right.

What a fucking lunatic. God, you need to get it together.

You scan the crowd as subtly as you can from over his shoulder, but you can't see her anymore, nor do you see anyone looking at you now. You're just another couple in a sea of people, unremarkable in your perversion, real or not.

"…No."

You don't fully manage to bite back a disappointed whimper when he puts you down, and your skin feels cold the moment his hands leave you.

Holy fuck, you are soaked. You can't even be demure about it. You're literally dripping down your thighs, and it's so fucking mortifying that you actually contemplate collapsing into yourself like a black hole. Get it together. Get it together.

"Let's get down there while we still can," he murmurs, and you almost jump out of your skin when his hand presses gently against your back, guiding you toward the guarded door.

-

THIS SCENE. THIS FUCKING SCENE. AFHWABFJHAWBFJAHBFHJAWFVBJAHGFVBAHWFVGAHGFVAH BLOWING MYSELF UP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[roykentschesthair]

Ugh do you ever think about how season 3 tried to make Jamie’s greatness on the pitch a product of spite and rage when it’s canon, from Jamie’s own lips, that his love of footie comes from his mom and how much she loves him?! Like, they tried to make my boy an obsessive fighter when in reality he’s an obsessive lover. All of Jamie’s motivations come from loving and wanting to be loved. And I love that he’s soft, and when he’s allowed to be, when his softness leads to acceptance, he just gets softer? With no shame? I just….ugh

[dacuslucy]

that game changer episode invoked real emotions in me. like deep ones. im gonna throw up in a good way

[chebyshevptera]

u know what yeah. au where morro finds jay in the woods after the tournament of sources and gets stuck taking care of this depressed former office worker who probably has rabies and doesnt remember anything about his villain arc because he hit his head while flying a mech during armageddon