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#fan rap
mounamusic-archive · 2 years
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"BATTLE BATTLE BATTLE" (from Hypnosis Mic) - English Adapted Lyrics
My adapted lyrics for the @hypmic-battlex3 project!
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DOPPO:
'Scuse me, sorry, pardon me sir, but I'm getting real sick of you dissing my ass
I'mma step up and knock you down and dump you right into the trash
You think you're a big shot, but I think not, I ain't a corporate cog
You're just a dog chasing pennies at the slots
Relying on your luck, you're dumb as fuck
With your weak rap game and not even a dollar to your name
My name is DOPPO, my beats are hot though I don't think you can deal
You can fake your poker face, but my flow is for real
DICE:
you think you're something with your job and your suit and tie
This is rap, office rat, you better step aside
Think your flow's real? Hah. It's real funny
Laugh my way to the bank I'mma say it point blank cuz I'm out here to make money
Living on luck is what I know, everything I risk is all my own
Salaryman better stick to the rule book, better watch your tone
I live my life, I'm Dead or Alive and I'm gonna win the bet
That I'm not gonna be some corporate little pet
HIFUMI:
Are you done? I'm getting tired of your rambling
 if you want to play around go back to gambling
You’re so broke it’s almost making me sorry
But your friend outta 1910’s another story
Phantom, think you’re handsome? Well you're dead wrong
Looking dead and gone like the garbage you write, you're way outdated
That's right, your threads are faded like the ink in your book
So, go do something 'bout that antiquated look
GENTARO:
I get it, I get it, I get what you reveal
How you say what you feel, I like how you keep it real, now
Let’s work together, you and I, maybe think about it.
Ha. That was a lie. I doubt it.
Whatcha got to gain, thinking you got class?
Cuz where I got a brain, you got a champagne glass
You gotta learn from your past, MC Gigolo
Not that a third-rate host would ever know.
MATENRO:
The Battle Battle Battle, the Battle Battle Battle
We’re the wolves of Shinjuku, we’ll run right on through you
FLING POSSE:
The Battle Battle Battle, the Battle Battle Battle
We’re the kings of Shibuya, gonna bring it on to ya
ALL:
The Battle Battle Battle, the Battle Battle Battle
The Battle Battle Battle, the Battle Battle Battle
Gonna make it happen
Less talking more rapping
The Battle Battle Battle, the Battle Battle Battle
JAKURAI:
Settle this here and now, your rhymes are ludicrous
I'm gonna shut you down, don't act like I'm new at this
Your flow don't mean a lot to me, you might need an endoscopy
To free myself of your disease and cancel the cacophony
(Or) maybe I could give you surgery, you'll see
It'll be a quick fix just a zip up your lips
But I'll take it slow. Stitch by stitch by stitch
And if you choose to struggle through it,
I'll see you in the I.C.Unit
RAMUDA:
O.M.F.G, quit acting like you got this
You're honestly a hot mess, I won't deny it
Don't matter how you try it, you can't keep me quiet
'Cuz I'll writhe and riot and I'll cry out in the middle of the night
I'll be like "la da da da!" annoying right? Right? Right?
I don't think you'll win this fight.
So, give up, call it a night
My kill rate is high, but my patience is very low
worst case scenario, so I think you better go­
DICE:
I don't think you realize
You wolves are gonna to get euthanized
GENTARO:
Got one more thing to mention,
Listen up and pay attention
DICE:
Matenro should sleep with the fishes if they can't do disses,
You know what I mean?
GENTARO:
I do, I think they're through
It got me feeling a rush of dopamine
RAMUDA:
it's been great, not gonna lie
I won't forget the fun we had
but y’all better say goodbye
So me and my Posse can head where the ladies are at
DICE:
a roll of the dice
GENTARO:
a writer who lies
RAMUDA:
nice combination!
FLING POSSE:
life and living it up is our motivation
DOPPO:
Oh my god, shut the fuck up,
You’re full of shit every way that you say it
HIFUMI:
We’ve had enough of your messing around,
If you’re in the game, then you’d better play it
DOPPO:
Your end is near, it’s clearly evident
In fact, you three aren’t relevant
HIFUMI:
Your posse ain’t shit, but we’re not gonna settle
We’re in to win this division battle
JAKURAI:
Your every offense Is a path to hell, it’s that of your own creation
The trouble you’re in is akin to a sin, Your posse may possibly need sedation
DOPPO:
We’re in control
HIFUMI:
With body and soul
JAKURAI:
And we’re doing God a favor
MATENRO:
A city without any hope will need a savior
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stuckinapril · 8 months
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megan thee stallion is the perfect example of unbothered energy. nicki has repeatedly vagueposted about her, gone on unhinged rants about her, gone so far as to mention her dead mother (such a classless low blow), threatened her on live, and has now released the tackiest diss track in history. and what has megan done? literally nothing. she straight up ignored her, aside from that one ig story where she posted herself laughing (which was perfect btw). she is the epitome of “i will not dignify that w a response.” i love it.
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yourartur · 8 months
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Tina Snow 🤍🐍
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ventique18 · 11 months
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King 🐉 who uses you to get tf off work.
🐉: "You have ten minutes to discuss."
Some official: "My king? This is a long topic--"
🐉: "Then be present first thing tomorrow."
Official: "Pardon my rudeness, however the line to your audience is always long--"
🐉: "Queueing at three in the morning will surely land you first ten, I'd wager."
Official: "I beg you, just an hour of your time--"
🐉: "An hour! Surely you jest? What would my spouse say? Or do? Can you imagine! An hour of overtime!"
🐉: "My sympathies go to you, though you must understand that my hands are tied. I am sure you empathize. Spouses can be terrifying..."
Official, defeated: "Yes, yes..."
🐉: "Eight minutes."
Official: "Y-yes!"
From then on, anyone who wants an audience with the king has learned to practice thoroughly before the scheduled meeting date. They learned to discuss so concisely and quickly, in fact, that it paved way to the emergence of a brand new entertainment scene in their country: Thorns and roses rap, where participants try to decimate each other with the most eloquent, rhythmic and thorny phrases they could within a short given amount of time.
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400facts · 5 months
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Parappa The Sriracha
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wonder-waffle93 · 2 months
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DOOM KON QUESO
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megamindsecretlair · 7 months
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When It Feels Right
Pairing: Lamont Diggs x Black!Fem!/ Plus Size reader
Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, You are in charge of your own reading experience. Intentional use of AAVE. SMUT. PWP, cursing, protected PIV, oral (female receiving) fingering (female receiving) teasing/mocking, size kink, dirty talk, praise kink, all consensual. Use of n-word. Drug use.
Summary: Lamont invited you to his studio to help work on his new beat. You help him in more ways than one.
Word Count: 5,057k
A/N: Hello, my loves. I have been feral for this man since watching this show. This was LONG overdue. This is the winner of the Fic poll, thank you to everyone who voted! ONE SHOT. Please, please consider commenting and reblogging to help support writers! And please put ages in bios! Or get blockt!
Taglist: @planetblaque @babybratzmaraj @browngirldominion @we-outsiiiide @iv0rysoap @thecookiebratz @wide-nose-and-wonderful @hereformiles @flydotty @blackerthings @notapradagurl7
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Lamont released a heavy cloud of smoke in the air. You bobbed your head to the new beat he made. Lamont matched your bobbing head, a slow grin working its way across his face. You rolled your eyes and turned away from him, trying to feel the beat without him coloring your opinion.
Just because he was your best friend didn’t mean that you couldn’t lay down the truth when needed. The good Lord knew that he didn’t need an even bigger head. 
As the beat faded and came to a close, Lamont clapped his hands in the too silent studio. It was a rare night where he didn’t have Melissa, couldn’t sleep, and his boys weren’t in the background smoking up all the weed. 
“Go on and tell me that’s hot!” He yelled and clapped his hands again. He played with a few switches on the switchboard and then swung his chair to face you. You swung idly on your own chair, back and forth. 
You gave him a funny look, not willing to admit that it was good. Of course it was good. Dude really knew his fucking craft. 
“It’s aight,” you said and dismissed him with a wave.
“Bullshit!” Lamont yelled. The joint hung from his lips as his long, delicate fingers flew over switches and knobs and he ran the track back. The deep bass thumped through the speakers once more and he turned to you, brows furrowing to gauge your reaction.
“Damn, I’m playing!” You said and giggled. You pushed away from his too intense stare. He sucked his teeth and pushed you back.
“Tell me what you really think, damn,” he said. 
“Nah, that shit is fire, Lamont. Seriously, you tore this up,” you said.
“Thanks, thanks. Just need some dope lyrics on it. Tired of them mumble rapper m’fucka’s,” Lamont said. 
He shook his head, his locs tussling over his face and dropping into his eyes. Your hand itched to push it away so you could continue looking at him. You swung your chair away from him so that your face didn’t give you away. It was the weed talking, nothing more. 
You played with the sleeves of your sweater, swinging around and around in circles until his studio became a dizzy array of green and red. Like Christmas. That was a much safer line of thinking. You could think about lights, gingerbread houses, and pinecones and not about how Lamont’s lips poked out, ready to be kissed.
Lamont turned down the beat and deposited the joint in the nearby ashtray. The smell was loud, filling your senses with its aroma. You smacked his shoulder as you passed him and then smacked it again until he relented and handed it to you.
You took a lungful, holding it in and rolling it around your tongue before releasing it back out into the studio. You watched the smoke lift towards the popcorn ceiling, wishing it would take your thoughts with it. You smoked so that your brain could pause like a TV show. So that you could stop to take in the details around you and make sense of it. 
Your stomach turned and roiled so you stuck your foot out to slow your spins. Lamont was on his phone scrolling through Instagram.
“You always on that damn phone,” you said, grinning as you realized that you sounded like your mama. 
“Okay, Ms. Etta,” he said.
“Shut up! That is not my mama name!” 
Lamont peeked at you from the curtain of his locs and smirked, holding out his hand for the joint. You took one last inhale, the burning embers at the end filling your peripheral vision before you handed it back to him. He dumped the ashes and then took a puff, putting it down on the ashtray. 
Lamont returned his attention back to his phone, head slightly bouncing to the beat he made. Your eyes slowly tracked over all of the mini orange, red, and green lights blinking from the switchboard.
This was the kind of laid back music that would be in a lounge somewhere. Your mind’s eye filled in details of blue ambient lighting. Black men and women and those in between dressed in their finest business casual. Men in deep, monochromatic suits and shiny shoes. Women in dresses a hair shy of too short, showing off long, thick legs and strappy high heels. 
You pictured glasses clinking, words whispered amongst friends, and glances thrown across the room. Ballers sending trays of drinks to the group of women at the bar knowing exactly what they were doing by leaning over it. 
It was a type of sexy beat that you felt in your inner thighs first. The thrumming bass making your thighs jiggle. Warming heat working its way up your spine until you couldn’t help but nod your head, bump your shoulders, and look at your friend to see if they were feeling the beat like you were.
You turned to Lamont, ready to tell him, when his nose was buried in his phone again. You groaned and reached out to slap your hand over the phone.
“You said you wanted no distractions tonight, remember?” You asked.
“I’m done with the beat though,” he said. He moved his phone out of your way and you leaned over a little further to try and snatch it from his fingers. His arms were longer than yours and he easily held it away from you. 
“You said not to let you get distracted. Hand it here,” you said. You snapped your fingers. Lamont shook his head, his locs whipping across his face. His gold chain glinted in the low lighting and it was stark against his white T-shirt, dyed green in the studio lighting.
“You ain’t gon’ snap yo fingers like you somebody,” he said.
“I AM! SOME-BODY!” You cackled at your own joke, eyes wide and smiling so big that your cheeks ached. 
“Goofy ass. You need to stay off this shit,” he said. 
“Boo, you’re no fun,” you said. You continued to reach across the short space between you, trying to reach his phone. You were high, but not that high. Your thoughts were coherent and slow. Like you could pluck each of them out and lay them on a blanket. That you could take your time and choose between them like choosing your outfit. 
“C’mon, watch out,” he said. He nudged you back but you were undeterred. Your tongue stuck out of your mouth, so deep in your concentration. Lamont chuckled, effortlessly fighting you off. 
You huffed and you huffed but you could not blow this wolf down. You sat back in the seat and sighed. “For real, Lamont. I did not come over here, at midnight, just for you to play on your phone. I wanna see some magic,” you said.
“Girl, I just showed yo ass the Magic Kingdom,” he said.
You laughed at his corny ass line and shook your head. “One beat is all you got?” You asked.
“All I got?” Lamont scoffed, affronted that you would even suggest such a thing. 
You inwardly grinned, using your knowledge of him to your advantage. He always rose to the occasion. He was almost too easy as he sat forward in his seat. His left hand dropped the phone in between you while he focused on the board once more.
Where you only saw switches and gears, he saw instruments. This board was a modern orchestra and he knew exactly which sounds to pull from it. Which drums sounded dirty enough to warrant adding snares and strings. 
You snatched his phone from beside him. He instantly balked, trying to get it back from you. You didn’t have the length he did, so you had to resort to putting it behind your back and trying to slide your chair away from him.
He put one hand on your chair to stop your retreat and then the other went in search of his missing phone.
“C’mon, stop playing!” He laughed as he struggled to get the phone from you.
You only had so many places to stick it. You kept moving it like you were playing hot potato with it, tossing it from one hand to the other. “You come on! I know why you call me here. So I can keep yo ass focused!”
“I focus just fine without you. Ever think I just want your company?” He asked.
“Duh, you always want my company,” you teased, still moving the phone every two seconds while he lunged for it. A giddy feeling swelled in your chest like a balloon, filling up all of your hollow crevices and giving you the feeling of floating despite feeling heavy. 
“Always? You loud and wrong,” he said. He sat back with a huff, eying you. You grinned, looking for any type of eye twitch or flicker. Anything to indicate that he would make a sudden move and try to snatch it from you. 
“Oh? I guess I should just leave then,” you said. You leaned out of the chair, butt hovering over the seat that was practically molded to your ass by now. You felt a few twinges. The side effect of sitting too long. All this cushion in your ass didn’t mean shit. 
“Man, sit yo ass down and hand me my phone. Please?” Lamont asked. But the please was not sincere. You stuck out your tongue while you placed the phone down your shirt.
The warm metal laid across your skin and you grinned at Lamont’s expression. His face kind of froze. Or paused while he stared at your chest. It was nothing new for the two of you, so you couldn’t name why it made your belly flip. 
“You think that’s gon’ stop me?” He asked. Was it you or did his voice get a little deeper? A little rougher? 
You adjusted the phone against your cleavage and threw up your hands. “What you gon’ do?” You asked.
Lamont licked his lips, a small smile forming on his lips. “You know I can just turn you upside down and shake you like a toy?” 
Nope. That did not make your pussy flutter. You did not imagine shaking for entirely different reasons. 
There was always this thickness between you and Lamont. A sort of sticky, gooey middle that kept you glued to his side all these years. You had been friends for so long, you didn’t remember the exact number. Where one went, there went the other. There was always a lingering look, a hand on the hip placed too long, a bite to the lip. 
You never crossed the line. The timing was never right. Either you were with somebody or he was. He was nursing your broken heart while you were getting him turnt up for his. He had an entire baby with Mia who had him wrapped around her tiny manicured pinky. Despite his protests otherwise. 
Now. Now you were both single. Unattached. No messy drama getting in the way. 
“Whatever, Lamont. I am here to keep you on track,” you said. You shook your head and smacked your lips. “Literally and figuratively.” 
“Gimme my phone,” he said, that same rough voice dancing along the sticky gooeyness that made your toes curl. He didn’t need to see the way you looked down trying to get yourself under control. 
“What you gon’ do?” You asked, rolling your neck for emphasis.
He smiled and shook his head. He waved his fingers in a ‘come on’ gesture and you smacked his hand. 
“What you gon’ do? What you gon’ do?” You kept asking, waiting for him to reply. To say something. Anything. You were tossing out the question like a fishing line, baiting him with delicious chum. With the irresistible urge to either latch on and let you know that it wasn’t just you or toss it aside and let it drop once and for all. 
“Say it one more time and I’ll show you what I’m gon’ do,” he said. 
“What you gon’ do?” You said slowly, enunciating each word so there were no misunderstandings.
Lamont’s hand shot out and pulled your fuzzy sweater away from your chest. His other hand snuck up your shirt and went fishing around for his phone. But his hands roamed too broadly, lightly squeezing your titty every so often. 
“Lamont!” You yelled. 
He licked his lips and got closer. His breath fanned across your face, a subtle mix of candy and weed. His hand continued to roam while he slowly closed the distance between your lips. He looked at you the entire time, giving you ample opportunity to back away.
But you wanted this. You casted that fishing line out into the ether, so you closed the distance for him. You pressed your lips against his finally. Your dreams didn’t come close. It was nothing like what you thought it would be and everything you dreamt it could. 
His lips were soft against yours. Smooth tongue running over your lips and sloppily slanting against yours. You hummed, low and softly but you were sure he heard it. His hands continued to roam under your shirt, no longer seeking his phone. 
Instead, his hands found your breasts and began to knead them, fingers grappling for your nipple. As soon as his fingers found that little pebble – no bra because you hadn’t felt like throwing on one just to chill with Lamont – he squeezed and rolled it between his fingers.
“Oh shit,” you said against his lips, finally pulling back far enough to get some air. Some room. 
“Mhm,” he moaned. “You think I ain’t been paying attention these past few years?” He asked.
“Wh-what you mean?” You asked. He rolled his lips around yours, kissing you but only just so. His wide nose danced against yours. One thing about high sex that you loved was how sensitive you became. How the little hairs on your skin picked up the different changes in temperature or tingled with every brush of skin. 
“All them nasty ass stories you liked to tell. About how men never hit it how you like,” he said.
He switched his hand to your other titty, seeking your nipple a lot faster. He rolled it in between your fingers and your breath stuttered. 
Already, he was leagues better than half the guys you’d been with. Or perhaps it was your lingering, previously unclaimed chemistry, doing most of the work for you. This was inevitable. Your lips would always meet his. His hands would always press into your skin. 
“You remember that?” You asked.
“Kept hoping it would be me in one of them stories. ‘Cept, I know what I’m doin’,” he said.
You giggled and pushed away from him. “Big fuckin’ words, boy,” you said.
Lamont had a playful frown on his face, considering your words, before he slapped his hands onto the arm rests of your chair. He caged you in your chair while he leaned down for more kisses.
His lips were like little clouds of heaven. Each one sweet, soft, and lazy. He lowered himself to his knees, still too tall for his own good. He kept kissing you, even while his hands went roaming again. 
He pulled your sweater off and took in the white tank underneath. His lips found yours again as if he didn’t want to be gone too long. He mixed in nips and licks to keep you on your toes. He grabbed his phone from out of your tank and placed it on the edge of the switch board.
He returned his attention to your body, kissing and biting you through the fabric of your tank. You felt him, but you didn’t really feel him. You lifted the tank and threw it over your head.
Cool air from the studio hit your upper body and you immediately shivered. Even with the thumping beat and lingering smoke, you weren’t warm enough. Lamont helped you lower your leggings and panties, pulling them off and throwing them across the room.
You were fully naked, staring into his dark eyes while he was still dressed. He leaned back, took in your curves, dips, and valleys with a satisfied grin.
“So that’s what you look like underneath all them damn sweaters. You been keepin’ this from me?” He asked.
He rubbed the goosebumps from your arms, scooting in between your legs and making you spread them wider to accommodate him. He looked you in the eye while he lifted one leg, kissed it, ran his tongue right behind your knee before placing it on the arm rest.
You felt ready to explode. He did the same to your other leg, but trailed more kisses down the length of it before placing it on the arm rest.
“You gon’ answer me?” He asked.
“Waat?” You asked. 
He chuckled. “You were just gon’ keep hiding this from me?” He asked.
“I-I wasn’t trynna hide it,” you said. Your words were slow to form and even slower to get out. 
“You wasn’t? Then why I ain’t never get a taste yet?” He asked.
He leaned across your body. His cotton shirt was almost too rough against your skin. You hissed, moving away from him but he moved forward anyway. The shirt tickled your skin but you didn’t have enough air in your lungs to giggle. 
Anticipation flipped in your belly, like it was playing hopscotch in there. You didn’t know what he was going to do next. You were on an infinite precipice of waiting.
He didn’t make you wait long. He kissed you, moving his hands between you to brush his fingers along your wet seam. You jerked in the chair but he had you effectively pinned. You had nowhere to go. Trapped in the chair with him covering your naked body. 
You moaned, licked your lips in between kisses, and then went back to feeling those sexy lips on yours. 
His fingers pushed in, separating your pussy lips and dipping into your heated essence. He moaned into your lips, tugging on your bottom lip. “You always get this wet?” He asked.
“Uh-uh,” you said. 
“No? I just bring that out of you?” He asked.
“Uh-huh,” you said. You had no words. With every swipe of his fingers, he pulled them out of your head. Each pass of his fingers around your clit made one more word disappear like air. 
“So that means I get to taste it right?” He asked. He moved his nose against yours and you sighed, your pussy clenching around nothing. 
“Uh-huh,” you said, lips finding his again and again. His wet, suckling kisses made you see stars behind your eyelids. 
His knuckle nudged into your clit and you hissed, releasing the air in short bursts. “Oh, she a little excited,” he said.
“Oh shit,” you moaned. “Don’t tease me.” 
“Don’t tease you? I like teasing you. I finally know how to shut that attitude up,” he said.
“You too damn cocky,” you moaned. 
“Still running that mouth,” he said. He moved his fingers to dip in and out of your pussy, pushing his fingers deep to his knuckle. Your mouth dropped open, eyes turned bruising. 
He moved his lips to your jaw and kissed down to your neck. He sprinkled kisses across your chest and then licked your nipple into his mouth, suckling. “Oh my god,” you gasped, back lifting from the chair.
Your pussy greedily sucked his fingers inside. “That’s right. Grip them fingers. Show me you like what I’m doing to you. Getting wetter over here, I’m gon’ have to buy a new chair,” he whispered around your nipple.
Your hands came up to play with his locs, rolling them between your fingers and loving the feel of them. You were in sensory overload. Everything was too much and not enough. Lamont’s filthy words had you screaming towards a climax, thighs shaking and pussy gripping him tighter.
“That’s fuckin’ right. Been dyin’ to know what you look like when you cum. You gon’ look like that riding this dick? Huh? How many pretty faces can you make while I’m rearranging your guts?” He asked.
“Lamont!” You twitched. 
He continued to pump his fingers as you calmed down. It was like he was exploring your pussy with his fingers. Trying to gauge how deep you could take him. Your grip tightened around his neck and he hummed, flicking his tongue against your nipple.
When you relaxed against the chair, Lamont slowed down his fingers until stopping altogether. He licked his fingers and moaned. “Taste so fuckin’ good. You doing okay?” He asked.
You nodded, loosening your grip on his neck. You wiped up run away drool, feeling a bit embarrassed that a little finger action made you cum quicker than a man in a porn store. 
Lamont shook his head, shaking the locs from his face as he pressed his face into your pussy. He took a loud, deep breathe and blew air between your pussy lips.
“Oh shit!” You screamed, hands flying back to his head. You gripped his hair while he began to eat you out in earnest, using his tongue first. 
He leaned back and hummed, slapped your pussy. “Damn,” he moaned. “So fuckin’ good.” He was a messy eater, digging in like it was his last meal. His lips wrapped around your clit and sucked. He brought his hands up to roll your nipples between his fingers, squeezing and squeezing until he pinched them.
“Fuck, fuck. Lamont! Damn,” you moaned, biting your lip. Fuck! It felt too good. So damn good with his lips between your thighs and his locs tickling your skin, and your hands digging into his head. Smashing his face into your pussy, giving him free rein to explore this thing between you. 
“Name sound sexy on your lips. Say it again,” he said, coming up for a bite of air. 
“Lamont,” you said with a grin. His eyes flicked to yours while he continued to make out with your pussy.
“Again,” he said, muffled against your wet core. 
Lamont!” You moaned while your orgasm was cresting the surface. Pressure built in your lower belly, getting so close with each new flick. Each new lick. Each new moan that told you he liked what was between your thighs. The thought that you could please him, even by the small act of being wet for him, turned the tide.
Your hand flew back to the back of the chair to steady you while your back arched. “Oh shit, Lamont!” Your neck rolled against the top of the chair while your body twitched and convulsed. Your body turned limp, riding the orgasm wherever it took you. However you looked while you spasmed. 
“Tasting so fuckin’ good. Fuck, I been missing out,” Lamonst said into your pussy. He continued to lap like a cat to cream. “So fuckin’ sweet. So fuckin’ good.” 
He lumbered to his feet, tossing off his white shirt. His chain bounced against his dark skin. His tattoos were darker still, spread out all over his body. You watched him through slitted eyes while he unzipped his pants. 
He freed his dick and rubbed the hardened length. Shit, he was perfect. Big and girthy. It was always the skinniest niggas that packed the biggest punch. It had a slight curve to it and your pussy clenched just seeing it.
He dug into his pocket and grabbed his wallet, flipping it open and grabbing a condom. He tore it open, found the right side, and then pinched the tip. You watched him as he rolled it onto his dick, adjusting here or there until it was fully on.
He pushed your thighs back on the chair. It protested with a loud groan, conflicting with a different beat in the background. Something laid back, lazy, and slow. Light danced over his features while he leaned forward, towering over you bent like a pretzel in his chair.
“You feelin’ aiight?” He asked.
“Yes, nigga!” You said with a smack of your teeth. He chuckled, grabbing your throat with his left hand. Your eyes rolled involuntarily, hand flying to grab his wrist. Not to push him away, but to keep him there. To push for more pressure.
He obliged you, squeezing harder until you were ready to cum just from that. “You must need some dick to get you right,” he said. 
“Umph, yesss,” you moaned. 
He used his right hand to grip his dick and run it through your damp folds, getting the condom slick with your wetness. He pushed in slowly. You hissed, pushing against his thighs. 
“Uh-uh, don’t push me away. Move them hands,” he said.
“But Lamont–”
“Move. Them. Hands,” he growled, getting close to your face and squeezing your neck.
You moved your hands with a whine. He was too damn big. He rolled his hips, sliding inside of you and working his way deeper. Your hands flew back to his thighs, pushing at him.
“Move them fuckin’ hands,” he rasped. 
“Please,” you begged. You were going to pass out. There was too much pleasure. Too much desire and lust. Too much of him. His scent, his sighs, his scorching looks. He lit fires in your veins that made you whimper and pout.
“Move them fuckin’ hands right now,” he said.
Again, your hands slid away from his sweat-slick thighs with a whine. The sound was needy and desperate. You had no way of slowing this down. Slowing it down to a pace you could quickly adjust to.
His dick didn’t hurt, he just stretched you deliciously. So much so that you had a goofy smile spread across your lips like icing on a cake. You moved your hands back to his hand on your neck.
He rolled and moved his hips, stroking into you with deep, long thrusts at a steady pace that stole your breath. You whined, choppy hums in your throat. “Why you doin’ this to meeee,” you moaned. 
“‘Cause I been waiting too long to get in this pussy. I’ma enjoy that shit,” he said. He smirked and dropped down to kiss you while he stroked deeper still.
You sank onto his dick while he rolled his hips, moaning with every glide. He lifted his head and rolled his neck, closing his eyes. You watched his face while he stroked, watched as he found some type of groove like your body was the switchboard and he was making a complicated beat.
He lined up perfectly. Your back arched. “Oh fuck, oh fuck. Right there, right there, Lamont,” you moaned.
“Right there?” He asked. He kept hitting your sweet spot, not deviating in the slightest. 
“Right there, oh my god, I’m gon’ cum,” you moaned.
“Give it to me. Let me feel that pretty pussy grippin’ this dick. She feel so fuckin’ good. Wrapped around this dick. This what you needed? Huh? This what you needed? Them other niggas ain’t have all this for you, did they?”
Each of his questions grew fainter as your orgasm came closer and closer. Your hand pushed against his chest. Your eyes were too far in the back of your head. You were worrying a groove into your bottom lip by biting too hard. 
“You still with me? This dick got yo tongue?” He asked.
“I’m-” You came with a loud moan, louder than you had ever moaned before. You twitched in the chair, the groans from it sounded violent. “Oh fuck! Oh fuck! Feel so good, Lamont!” You cried out. Yelled out. 
It was a good thing that you were in a proper studio and there was no one around to hear you. Had you been at your place, your neighbors would know his fucking name. 
Your hands scratched at his stomach while he chuckled and kept stroking. “Fuck. You squeezin’ the fuck outta me. You ain’t trynna let me go, huh? Now that you know I know how to hit it right. What got you screaming. What got you moaning. What got you cummin’ on this dick like that,” he said. 
“Oh baby,” you moaned. 
“I’m baby now? What happened to my name?” He asked.
At this point, you didn’t know your own name. You clenched around his dick and he cursed, slamming into you one more time before you felt him twitch inside. You had an errant fantasy about him cumming inside you, spilling his fat load into you and then fucking it into you. 
You tucked that particular one to the back of your mind while Lamont dropped against you, loosening his grip around your throat. Your matching pants and gasps made the moment soft but fuzzy around the edges. Like when you first woke up from a good nap and didn’t know what year it was or what you were doing beforehand.
Lamont slipped out of you, stumbling back. He took off the condom, tied the ends, and threw it in the nearest trash can. He sat in own chair. He tucked himself back in but didn’t zip up his pants. 
You slowly lowered your legs from the chair, feeling thoroughly fucked out. You looked towards Lamont who was studying you in the same way. He smiled first. Your smile matched his as the gravity of what you just did sunk in. 
Sunk down deep into your bones. There was no going back from this. There was no way to pretend this didn’t exist. That he wasn’t just deep enough in your guts to still feel the lingering effects. You felt empty without him. 
“We wasted too much fuckin’ time,” he said softly. You nodded and licked your lips.
You tapped the tips of your fingers trying to reorient yourself. Bring yourself down to reality. The reality of you with Lamont. You smiled. “Let’s not waste anymore.”
You had sex again on his red, leather couch. Nasty, intense sex where his hands were back around your throat, he was stroking deep in your guts, and staring into your eyes while he continued to shatter your world over and over again. You grinned and giggled in between his nasty words and your faint pleas for mercy. 
You didn’t know what tomorrow would bring, but you were excited to find out.
THE END
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Psst, over here! The Secret Lamont Files.
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shynetyme06 · 4 months
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Pj if he was freaky on a friday night
Guy belongs to 7goodangel
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tgcg · 7 months
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do you think dave would listen to tyler the creator
fuck yeah. tho personally i associate tyler da creator more with dirk, that kinda sound. same w stuff like childish gambino. but i do think dave would like tyler da creator bc he rules objectively & i think dave and dirk could bond over music a lot.
otherwise i persanally hc hed be more into relatively earlier hip hop w heavy sampling & record scratch shit. & more underground/unconventional kinds of stuff, w a lot of punch&crunch on the percussion. been compelled 2 make another playlist 4 this shit bc ive been thinking abt it sm. sorry 4 hijanking the ask l0l, thanx for asking me...
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Damn those pilots can sure twenty one!
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enchantrum · 4 months
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The Astral Prism Isn't Grindr!- Why the Emperor didn't catfish you.🦑
Very long, rambling post I wrote while manic at 4 am. Enjoy!
I feel like the worst thing you can actually say about Emp in regards to his actions towards the player is that he lies by omission. But even then, to consider it lying you basically have to work from the perspective that you as a player, person, character or whatever, are entitled to know everything about someone you just met, who might have some very good reasons for not wanting to reveal certain things
He didn't "catfish" you the prism isn't grindr lmao?! And the game/companions/etc repeat to you over and over that the Dream Visitor is some kind of manufactured vision. You all have one and it's specific to your individual minds. He wasn't exactly doing some deepcover shit with a fake backstory to get your cryptowallet information or whatever real-life equivalence you keep trying to make. As if you run into alien squid monsters every day or something!
It's doubly bizarre because there is an extremely popular companion character whose entire arc is ACTUALLY lying to you about who they are, only admitting it when you catch them attacking you in your sleep, and then goes on to try to ACTUALLY manipulate you with sex and intimacy while at that point, not actually feeling it. This is the most popular character in the fandom btw- Astarion.
Emperor's morality is held up to a ridiculous standard. Not even the companions are held to that level- not even close!
A better equivalence to his situation than "catfishing" (a term completely exclusive to our world) would be if a sentient, alien creature was stranded on our planet and had to use a disguise to y'know....not be shot at and killed by confused humans? Why the heck would your brain first jump to catfishing? Girl if you approached your DG as a tindr date that's on you! Lliterally the only prompt the game gives you before creating them is "you need a guardian" (At least currently that's how it works, after official release.)
if you met a kind of weird guy and fell for him and he then revealed he's actually a sentient squid monster, I don't think your first response would be "OMG YOU CATFISHED ME?" I'm pretty sure it would be "HOLY FUCK A SQUID MONSTER!" because it would be very obvious and apparent (by virtue of them being a squid monster) that the intent was not to "catfish" you, but to survive a world that would be actively hostile towards him, on sight.
We accept this type of "ambiguous morality for the sake of survival" from characters like Astarion who are traditionally attractive, but we don't accept it from a being whose very appearance, forces them into that position of moral ambiguity. Emperor is not afforded the same privilege of even being able to consider full honesty, because just one look at him could make someone hysterical. Hiding himself from you is not an active choice he's able to make, anymore than a turtle can choose to break open it's shell- it will die.
Even if YOU wouldn't kill him, what about companions like Lae'zal, who are already suspicious of him and will definitely cut him down at that point? Even if you think that would be a good thing, you would then lose your protection from the tadpole/the Absolute. The game basically wouldn't exist without the Prism.
Let's also not use "well Astarion is traumatized" as an excuse here. Emperor is pretty obviously traumatized as well, in addition to being a brain-eating squid monster and having to manage that part of his nature, the way Astarion has to handle his. Yet he's still more up front than Astarion was. Astarion can accidentally kill you while drinking from you and he still doesn't reveal who he is to the others, AND pretends he doesn't know what happened to you lol.
Note my point here isn't "Astarion bad" but simply that if you have room in your heart to sympathize with characters like Astarion, then there's no reason you can't squeeze my man Emp in there too. He doesn't do anything significantly worse than any of the other main characters but is the most hated, and it's literally because of this ridiculous perception of him "catifshing" the player. The most media illiterate take I have ever seen in my life, honestly
Like first off, he's a squid, and secondly! ☝️ Read all that again.
tl;dr if you feel "cafished" by the Emperor you simply weren't paying attention for more than half the game. Fantasy might not be for you if you can't remove the plot from real life circumstances and turn complex fantasy monsters into human romance scammers, as if they're actually alike in any meaningful way.
Read more books maybe. That might help.
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omppupiiras · 4 months
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Happy one year anniversary to me selling my soul to Käärijä 💚 it's been a wild ride but I wouldn't have it any other way, thank you Mr Cha Cha for bringing something crazy and party into my life <3
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sanctiu · 2 years
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jyuto really found this guy and just felt so bad for him he couldn't even arrest him
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glassesfreekjr · 1 year
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... Why did they build a whole-ass flood bypass out in the Splatlands, anyway? Is it like California rules where it's arid as hell most of the time except for when everyone drowns, or has the flash flooding caused by Big Runs been more of a long-running issue then we initially thought?
The fan splatband Red Flare District is named in reference to the 190-chapter juggernaut "exercises in gratitude (The Barclay Street Flood)" by @redeyedsheepskull over on AO3. Contrary to what Inkopolis news media would have you believe, the Order vs. Chaos Splatfest was only partly the reason for the mass cultural exodus to the Splatlands. Maybe it had something to do with the fallout after a catastrophic spillway failure submerged a low-class Inkopolis neighborhood in millions of tons of polluted floodwater, I dunno.
RFD changed its name (from RLD) partly to capitalize on the event and partly out of genuine albeit ham-handed tribute.
And here, out in the middle of the desert, is yet another failed flood bypass. The ironic hilarity was too good for them to not write a song about. Fast-forward five years and some still consider the end product to be a tad insensitive.
(sample source list can be found on my YouTube)
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y0url0verb0y · 4 months
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Barty is js running around singing "it's prolly a minorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" at the most inappropriate times 😭🤧
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monkii-bombs · 28 days
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@jjcocker womeng :]
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