i wrote a little bit today. It's been hard. I had to delete a good chunk I had written before in order to pave the way for more writing. I hate deleting because I liked the scene I had, it just... didn't go anywhere. Maybe for another chapter... maybe.
But I continued and I got over the bump I was having. Hopefully, I can get more done in the days ahead.
I ask myself when the hell my life got so busy and then ask if it even matters. There's not really an end in sight and yeesh, I really need a break, but there's no real good time to take one.
Everything I do just feels like some form of work. And sure some work is enjoyable, but it's work. Even this fic, it's work. And while I'm so far from being a published novelist, I'd still like to aim for that kind of quality.
I need a break to work on my fic ... but also, if I get a break...IF i get a break, then i'd like to do absolutely nothing. SO when will I have I time to write... ever?
vicious cylce
Anyway, I'm writing. It's through a fog, but I am doing it.
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Ao3 stops loading for a second and I get a glimpse in the life of a mother who’s son got sent to war and doesn’t know when he’s returning safely
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I can't get over the one sided love of a deity trapped in stone with a newcomer to their land.
Fields of Misteria has a dragon statue that seemes to be romanceable later on named Caldarus. They are immortal and trapped in stone because they have grown weak and their memory fuzzy.
You nurse then back into power by collecting nature essence by doing things around your farm. Cutting grass, tending crops. Cutting trees, clearing rocks etc.
I can't get over this idea of one sided longing or enamorment now. A mostly silent being who watches from afar as you wake up everyday just before the sun comes over the mountains in the distance and begin your work.
Diligently clearing land, planting and lovingly caring for your crops. The strength you built as an adventurer coming in handy with cutting down large trees and smashing large rocks with ease. The gentle way you handle your farm animals and the bonds you build with the community.
The beam of pride you have when you complete a days worth of work. Tired, sweaty, dirty---but happy and content.
They watch you get frustrated when you get tired and you're so close to being done, when your backpack gets too full too soon, watching you take breaks to restore your stamina and how you treat animals, even bugs, with kindness by shooing them away before clearing the next plot of land.
They see the gentle smile of your face as you water and weed your plants and hear you regale the silent stone with stories of your adventuring days. They see you run past into the village with gifts to give and materials to offer, help to aid those that need it.
They feel sad when you sleep in, noting how unusual it is for you to sleep in late and plead for you to take care of yourself and not push so hard. The mines are dangerous and their power is limited.
The find themselves worrying for you. Did you remember to make food? Are you eating a proper diet? Are you remembering to rest? You can be so stubborn sometimes.
They despise being so weak, they wish to speak to you more, to see your eyes light up with new information and to keep you company. To aid you in your self appointed quest of a manageable farm and happy life.
They find themselves excited for dawn, when you come out and stand in front of their statue--coffee in hand while you plan your day, knowing they can't respond but still treating them kindly, gently.
You make sure to scrub them clean when the rain comes to avoid mildew and moss growing on them. It can't be comfortable and somehow you think of it like a virus for them. They're your friend and you want them to be taken care of, since, as a statue it's not like they can clean themselves.
They think you are devoted to kindness to those around you.
And they wish to reward such devotion.
By returning it in kind.
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Beelzebub is returning from a run. It's summer in the Devildom, meaning it's literally hot as hell. Sweat drips from his hair and nose. It glides around his elbows and leaves glistening trails streaking across his arms.
He stops to catch his breath at an intersection, letting humid air fill his lungs. A dark tank top clings to his body, soaked with effort from the day's training. Beelzebub takes the hem of his top and mops his reddened face with it. The scene of his lifted shirt - the heavy breathing, the pearls of sweat - could drive any human to sin.
Beelzebub leaves his top pulled up as he prepares to cross. Anything to help combat the Devildom heat. The damp fabric of his shirt sits atop his clavicle and bunches under his armpits, giving onlookers an eyeful of chiseled abs two shades lighter than his arms and legs.
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Ao3 has had some issues lately and I just want to say I am so grateful for all the engineers who made sure the service comes back stronger. ❤️ I am sure you all poured a lot of work into it.
I don’t know what I would do without ao3! THANKS!!
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TLWAH - Chapter 5 Update
Hey! This is just a quick progress report to say that I have officially finished the rough draft to chapter 5 of TLWAH. After I write the final draft and revise, which may take around a week, I’ll be able to publish it!
Just a heads up, this is the last chapter of TLWAH. It’s based on the 5 stages of grief ofc, so it was originally planned with the intention of only having 5 chapters. I have considered making a separate collection of oneshots and snippets in the TLWAH storyline in a fic just for fun, but haven’t decided yet. If I do decide to make that, I’ll post an update here.
For now, take some crumbs:
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The boy is heeereee ( ´ ▽ ` )
This is my reference (again) of Miya, cuz the old one was ugly (??
This is for my leosagi fic uwu
Also some little doodles
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