#fart jokes or stupid and silly shit like that

[pineappleciders]

can u do platonic main 4 (sp) and what it would be like to be in their friend group?? fem reader or gender neutral, either is fine! tysm

BEING IN THEIR FRIEND GROUP

INCLUDES: stan, kyle, kenny, and cartman (and a bit of butters)

lots of silliness. goofing off. tomfoolery, if you will

as you all grow and mature a bit, kenny and you are probably the only ones laughing at fart humor left

you and kyle (and sometimes cartman) tend to get into heated arguments and even fights. it always resolves itself though (and it's always over something stupid)

you don't have a rivalry like kyle and cartman, just bumping heads (its normal for friends to fight, especially in south park)

you're kind of the one making little quippy jokes after someone talks

"god, this rain is so annoying!"

"you're so annoying."

a lot of the times when something wacky is happening, you and one of the others (usually kenny) will make eye contact

kind of like how in the office they just kind of.. look at the camera in annoyance or to say 'seriously?'

you and stan often hang out, and sparky loves you. you're both sentimental animal lovers

you kinda grow on shelly. sometimes if you're at his place you two will gang up on stan (lightheartedly, of course) and sharon loves you

i wanna say kyle would help you with your studies but honestly he'd probably tell you to do it yourself

cartmans an asshole to you just like everyone else, but he still has some sort of respect for you as a friend. probably begs you to do shit for him but lays off when he realizes you aren't easy to manipulate

speaking of butters, he probably likes you a lot. you might rip on him a little, even if just to fit in with your friends, but you make sure he knows it's lighthearted banter (you're there for him, and he appreciates it a lot)

he also spends nights at your house, and cartman calls it gay (no matter your gender)

despite your fights with kyle, you two are still good friends and sometimes you, him, and ike will watch kids shows at his house

sheila makes you guys little snacks and you get along really great with ike (if ike needs a babysitter, kyle's immediate thought is to leave him with your family. he knows he'd be safe with you, despite your goofy and sometimes dumb behavior)

kenny spends a lot of time at your place, and sometimes you two will go out to the lake just to talk and skip rocks. you don't even have to converse, you and kenny just get along

overall? there's a lot of ripping on each other and getting into trouble, but you can't help but think it's all worth it when your friends have all fallen asleep on your couch watching terrance & phillip

[clemnchai]

Dealer! Ellie headcannon’s ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

dealer! ellie who’s your polar opposite. everyone was surprised when you two first came out. you’re sweet as honey and shy— outfits always a littlee skimpy. and ellie was… ellie. she loves it tho. loves having arm candy ♡

dealer! ellie who gets genuinely offended when you try to roll your own joints or even smoke without her. she’s such a baby about it. “what the fuck? where’d you get this shit from?” she picks up the tiny baggy with aggravation on her face. “well… you were busy els— and i’ve been stressed! y’cant be mad at me because you neglected me” you say with a small pout. “neglect—? ok ok. you’re not smoking this shit, man. how about this, i roll you a joint with my good shit and we can watch hello kitty island adventure—whatever the fuck and chill, kay?” safe to say ellie takes the ‘pretty girl’ discount seriously ♡

dealer! ellie who always rolls your joints in strawberry papers and bags your weed in cute baggies w hearts ♡

dealer! ellie who called you princess in a teasing way at first but it just…. stuck. ♡

dealer! ellie only lets you do her make up while she’s high as a kite. so now you’re here sitting on her lap putting mascara and eyeliner on her pretty red eyes. “els, stop moving. i’ll mess up” you stop and sit back to look at her while she smokes the last of her joint. “you’re lucky m’ letting you do this— how long does this take again? is this why you take so long to get ready?” you rolled your eyes as she rambled and she playfully pinches ur waist and smoothes her hand over. “done! “ you hand her a small mirror to look at your work. “cute. my lil’ picasso.” leaning in to give you a wet smooch that you dodge. “no kisses, you’ll ruin my work.” she huffs and sits up to effortlessly flip you over so she’s on top of you. you let out a girly squeal at the sudden change in position. “fuck that.” she says n’ then gives you wet, exaggerated kisses all over your pretty, giggly face ♡

dealer! ellie who does things because she knows it makes you nervous. she’ll take your cheeks in between her fingers and shotgun kiss you during the smoke sesh and chuckle at how you look at her w doe eyes:( or she’ll tease you in public— moving her hand a little too close to the warmth in between your thighs and pulling away when she hears your breath stutter. she can be so mean:( ♡

dealer! ellie who listens to 90s rap and r&b. also cannot fuck you without some r&b in the background. “sets the mood” she says. ♡

dealer! ellie who passes you the joint when fucking you:( “yea— yea. shit. you look so fucking good.” she pulls the joints from her mouth and blows the smoke away from your face. the way you cream around her strap makes her head fuzzier than weed could ever. “here— open up bun” she places the joint in between you lips and stares as you inhale— and eventually pull back to turn your head up to exhale. “mmh.” she gives a validating hum and smacks your ass— completely discarding the joint to kiss your red, pouty lips ♡

dealer! ellie who makes stupid jokes and conspiracies while high. “dude…. what do you think would happen if everyone farted at the exact same time. what if the world like— fuckin’— exploded or something.” “ellie.. what?” you cant contain your giggles at the auburn haired girls question. “what?? it’s a genuine question. what if all of our farts created a nuclear bomb. that’s kinda… scary. now i’m getting scared.” she said seriously— as if the made up situation could ever happen. “ellie.. that will never happen and i’m pretty sure your farts alone could create a nuclear bomb.” you joked back and giggled at her offended face. “okay…. you got me.” she’s so silly😭

dealer! ellie who only downloads social media so you can send her memes and things that remind you of her. her only instagram pics are scenery pics and pictures of you ♡

dealer! ellie who loves ass. that’s it. especially loves when you wear short skirts so when you bend down she can see your cute pink panties. sometimes she’ll pull your panties to the side and eat your pussy from the back till your knees are weak:( ♡

dealer! ellie who just loves her girl soo much!! you’ll often catch her staring at you and you get so shy— but all she’s thinking about is how lucky she is to have such a sweet girl like you belong to her and her only ♡

- ˚ʚ♡a ɞ˚

[berylcups]

I feel bad because this is my 3rd ask in less than 24 hrs, lmao 😭 anyway... I think u said you had pt.3 brainrot rn? Me too lmaoo, could you do hcs of the crusaders with an s/o who's standing kinda works like Wanda's powers from Marvel? I think that would be dope asf, tyty!!! 🩵

Hey sorry for the long wait! I assumed you meant Wanda from the MCU cannon so that’s what I based readers power off of since her powers are kinda vagueish. (Telekinesis and mind control) I hope this is what you have had in mind-if not please forgive me 😭😭😭 (it’s been forever since I watched a marvel movie…I think Black Panther was the last one? Damn that’s a long time ago!)

SDC X Reader who has powers like Wanda

CW: poopoo mention? Idk nothing really! But be forewarned- I love toilet humor and so does Araki it seems lmao

Notes: I based this off of the MCU Wanda and her powers. I did some research just to make xtra sure since my Marvel knowledge is a lil rusty! But I hope everyone enjoys!

Joseph

“Next you’ll say—I’m going to take control of your body gramps! …wait hold on a minute.”

He’s amused by your abilities! He wants to see you take control of poor bystanders or his grandson and make them do harmless embarrassing things. Silly things like doing a stupid dance, picking their nose, farting loudly in public, just really crude juvenile behavior. You think with him being the oldest he would act the most mature!

Jotaro

“…Stay out of my head bitch/bastard.” He grumbled.

He acts all cool and collected, unaffected by the power of your stand. But internally he’s sweating buckets. The ability to mind control and move objects is a very valuable ability. He’s happy you’re an ally and not one of Dios minions…but if you are, he’s willing to take you on! But he’s going to have to think hard on how to find and exploit your weaknesses!

He really wants to see you in action. Taking control of Steely Dan would have taken a lot of stress out of the whole lovers debacle.

Kakyoin

He thinks your abilities are cool! He’s actually really excited but is too shy to show it. He likes how you can control minds, Hierophant green can control bodies like puppets too. 🙂 it makes him feel good to have something in common with someone.

He does wonder if you can use your telekinesis to play video games or if it takes more concentration to do so… it seems like a good experiment to test out for him! (And me too… I wanna play my switch without having to worry about joycon drift 🥲)

Avdol

Magical! He’s intrigued! He would love to test your limits and help you hone your skills.

He wonders how strong of will you can take control of and how much weight you can carry with your telekinesis.

“My will is strong and my mind is clear. Just try and take control of me!”

Polnareff

“Mind control and telekinesis?! Niiiice. There’s so many things I need you to do!”

He respects your powers and he means well but… he really wants to see you use your powers for shits and giggles.

He wants to see you manipulate objects in front of nonstand users and take control of others minds to make it seem like they are being haunted.

“Tell the madame she’s forever doomed if she doesn’t date the beautiful man with the perfectly styled hair!”

…Don’t do it. He needs to earn love the RIGHT way 😅

Iggy

“Im just a dog. What are you expecting from me???”

*farts*

If you use telekinesis to pick him up he’s gonna PANIC 😱 here we come—Flying Dog!!!

Please fly him above Polnareff so he can fulfill his dream of shitting on his head like a bird. And so he can get revenge on all the other birds that shit on him by shitting back.

He will be your best friend ever after that. No joke. You got yourself a new dog.

[tangledinink]

what's your centaurworld opinions?

spoilers below if you care.

I'm so torn on that show, because there are parts where I think it's beautiful and compelling and visually stunning, but there are also parts where I'm just... so disappointed in it? Like, I commend it for being out there and taking risks and trying to be different, but like...

You know the opening scene in the very first episode? Before Horse ends up in Centaurworld? And we get the whole Rider's Lullaby Thing before Horse and Rider get seperated? After that I was immediately, like... so disappointed. Because right off the bat I was like! Well... I don't care about this world or this story, quite frankly, I care about that world that we saw before! about Horse's world! About her and Rider! And, like, yes, I know the plot is about "oh this is how Horse gets back to her world and gets back to Rider," but, like, at least for me, none of the Centaurworld characters really won me over, esp not at first. I didn't give a shit about them or their world! So they were really just... in the way. They were obstacles standing in between me and getting to see more of Horse and Rider's story, and that's, like, idk, maybe not what you want? For your main cast?

That's not to say that I hated it, because I didn't hate the first season! There were episodes and moments that I enjoyed, and I liked most of the music, as well, but I really wasn't a fan of the second season at all.

I HATED the birdtaur episode. Like! I HATED the whole gimmick where they treated Horse and her Herd as a 'TV show' and the main cast were all annoyed at them for 'treating their lives live entertainment' and judging Horse's decision to split up with Rider as like? A kind of subtle jab at criticisms from fans because it... it doesn't work!? Like, in the show, Horse's main defense against the Birdtaurs saying that the ending of season 1 wasn't good and 'felt empty' since they did all this build-up to reunite with Rider only to immediately leave her again was "well this is my real life!!!"

Okay, but, like... it's still a TV show. If the Birdtaurs are a stand-in for real Centaurworld fans, then Horse's defense... doesn't work at all? Because it's not her real life. It's a make-believe TV show. That you seemingly have no actual defense for. (Because it's... it's valid criticism, actually...) Also just in general making fun of your own fans is, like... stupid, I think.

I also feel like season 2 totally assassinated Wammawink's character? I liked her in season 1! She was overbearing and protective and a bit much sometimes, but one of her main character traits is that she loves her herd and is their caretaker, and she wants to ensure they're safe and protected at all times... in season 2 she just? Doesn't seem to care about them at all? She spends the entire second season just being so self-absorbed and catty the entire time, and it makes no sense.

I didn't like Durpleton, Glendale, or Ched at all, they were all just... too annoying for me to enjoy.

I'm still fucking mad that literally ALL the main cast got at least some kind of backstory/side-story type thing... except Zulius, for some reason? Despite being a fan-favorite (and my personal fav because I mean. Come ON. He's just fun.)

I understand it's a kid's show and they're gonna have silly moments and jokes and comic relief, etc etc etc, okay, sure, there will be fart jokes, fine, not my taste but it's fine it wasn't made for me, whatever. But it often felt like... the show wasn't allowed to breathe? There was no point where it truly took itself seriously. There always had to be some dumb heeheehaha fart joke shoehorned in. Which is, like, fine, if you wanna be a fart joke show, that's fine! It's just that Centaurworld also tries to be an edgy drama at the same time, and it just... I don't think it pulls off being both. Comedy and drama can definitely exist at the same time but! There are times when you have to allow the show to be one or another! Is this a dramatic character moment? Just be a dramatic character moment! It often felt like Centaurworld truly was not capable of even having a single scene with some 'bad-dum-ts' fart joke moment in it, which made it very hard for me to? Take any of it seriously or enjoy it.

Also, I hated the Nowhere King's story. I thought he was so dumb and uncompelling. I know he's the bad guy and you're not supposed to LIKE him but like? When they told us the backstory I think they expected us to, you know, feel SORRY for him? And I didn't! At all! I found no part of his story to be sympathetic. That guy was just a fucking idiot the whole way through, just repeatedly shooting himself in the foot by being this self-important "I'm not like other centaurs" dude while at the same time being all "woe is me this girl will never like me since I'm a centaur so I won't even ATTEMPT to get to know her at all, I'm gonna jump straight to crimes against nature and deceiving her." I thought that guy was stupid and I did not care about him.

ALSO? HOW THE FUCK DOES THE PORTAL KEY WORK? Like??? It makes NO sense to me??? Like, sure, apparently, it keeps the Rift open to connect the two worlds or whatever, I guess, but then it also like, just... does other magick? It can just??? Separate centaurs, for some fucking reason? Which I don't understand? Is that just what the key does? Open the rift AND de-centaur people? Or is it just a generic magick item that can do anything? But then also the Nowhere King could make minotaurs... without the key??? It makes no fucking sense to me and I think it's dumb.

... I like the songs, though, and the animation is really pretty. Also I thought the ending was dumb lol.

[davidsdussy]

•───────•°•❁•°•───────•

This is gonna be a Lil sumin. I was wondering, what would be some of the stupidest and funniest or even sweetest things these boys do? Welll let's find out. HAPPY NEW YEARS

•───────•°•Warning•°•───────•

Foul Language, just them doing stupid shit

sexual themes and smut AND FLUFF!

•───────•°•❁•°•───────•

David

𓆩 𓆪 David can be silly and goofy too, its not always serious we all know this. Man has natural crack hidden up his ass some here and its in there deep... Can't even reach up with ya foot.

𓆩 𓆪But one of the funniest moments with David is when he was minding his business. All up your sugar walls with his cock, no shame in the world. Just balls against booty, and Marko had threw a pizza into the slide of his face. The crazy part is how David didn't notice Marko's presence behind him. You watched as the pizza slowly slid down the side of His face and land in between your chest/boobs.

𓆩 𓆪 David was PISSED! But you? You laughed. It was too fucking funny, even with him balls deep inside you and a pizza on your chest.

"GET THE FUCK OUT YOU LITTLE SHIT!!!"

"Whoa calm down no need to get so hostile. I just thought I add a little Italian spice to your bedroom."

"MARKO!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH"

Dwayne

𓆩 𓆪This serious big teddy bear is goofy too..mostly quiet but once you come at him with fun time such as poking him and saying you didn't do it a bunch of times.

𓆩 𓆪 so here you were poking him as he reads on the couch. Repeatedly! Once he was annoyed enough he'll just simply grab you hand and kiss it.

𓆩 𓆪"You done?" he'll chuckle at you. You see dwayne has a hell of a lot of patience I like to think even more so than David. Once you shrugged and claimed it wasn't you, he'll say"Oh yeah?" And then that's when the fun starts.

"MERCY! PLEASE HAHAHAHAHA!" Your laughter filled the lightly dim lit hotel. Be pinned under the long haired giant of a vampire, being tickled brutally. "Yeah? Gonna tell the truth now?" He'll smirk down at you as you nod "Alright alright! I'll stop poking ya!" You yelled out and smiled up at him before sitting up and kissing his cheek.

Paul

𓆩 𓆪we all know this man don't have hidden crack up his ass...he got crack in his peepee 🙄That mf goes up randomly and who better than you to go to for help. He'll always hug you from behind and rut against you slowly as he whispers filthy things in your ear.

𓆩 𓆪He's just restless, always grabbing for you but he can't help it. Not when you're standing there doing nothing looking all pretty. Even just your voice alone turns him on.

𓆩 𓆪You love paul, never the less. You'll do anything for your sweet puppy. But today you weren't in the mood. So you got an idea, Paul is a menace we know this. even his jokes be heartless a little. So..you did the unthinkable..

A rumble erupted on Paul, and he froze. Did you just?....did you just fart on his erection?!?! Instant turn off, whyyyyy!? "WHOA BABE, you could've warned me!"He backs up and whines. "I'm so sorry Pauly! I didn't m- pffft hahaha" you laughed and grabbed your lower abdomen from laughing so hard. You could hear David from across you two. "That wasn't an accident she's lying" he smirks trying to instigate."Y/N!? Is this true?!"

Marko

𓆩 𓆪Oh man...you thought Paul was bad. Wait till you hear how him and Paul were planning a prank on David. Nothing like annoying the true high king of skyrim.

𓆩 𓆪so here they were. Waking up early at tonight just to piss off the hanging human bat with crocodile feet. Paul started off by poking David awake. Like it was a serious problem happening

𓆩 𓆪Little did little David know...he's always gonna be the butt of their jokes...no matter what...

"DAVID! WAKE UP! MARKO IS HURT PRETTY BADLY!" David woke up quick, both concerned and pissed about what was going on. "What do you mean he's hurt?! What the fuck happened?!" Once he got his gorilla grippers off the ceiling and started running down the hall with Paul. And there Marko was..bleeding on the ground, panting and reaching out dramatically"it hurts.." And David was over there in seconds! Wait, oh no...he didn't get nowhere because the mf slipped on some oil Marko put on the floor purposely. Sending David sliding across the ground and into a wall. "PAHAAHAHHAHAHA!" The loud howls filled the hotel as David got up growling and slapping Paul and Marko in the back of the head. "YOU LITTLE SHITS!"

[uraniumnm333]

[btw i use he//they for mafuyu in this. yknow the mafuyu transmasc agenda n whatnot]

i think rui and mafuyu should be siblings. like just IMAGINE OKAY

mafuyu finally gets out of his mom's house and is adopted by some people. n25 is like "alr cool B]" and after a little bit mafuyu's like "oh btw guys i'm going to kamiyama now instead of the girl's academy. yknow blank slate n all that." and everyone's like "okay !!!"

and nobody really notices anything until mizuki goes to school one day. and there's rui kamishiro. sitting right next to THE mafuyu asahina. and mizuki is CONFUSED to say the least

mafuyu is integrated into the kamiyama society. yes this includes getting jumpscared by THE tsukasa tenma. anyways i think that rui and mafuyu would get along. it's "useless information" and "i literally know everything" they probably get along swell. mr and ms kamishiro also probably understand all the weird teenager bullshit so they. don't judge mafuyu like her old parents did. he's like "i'm sorry i have difficulty expressing my emotions and i'm sorry i'm generally a cold person and hard to relate to emotionally" and ms kamishiro is like "rui had a five nights at freddy's phase where he built life sized animatronics i think you are just fine <3"

also i think mafuyu would help rui w his robots n stuff. bc they have such a good understanding of anatomy n shit and just. helps him out w it. rui also helps mafuyu w his transition so by the time he starts attending kamiyama they're wearing the guy's uniform n his hair is cut :fire: :fire: + mafuyu can act more like his authentic self bc NOBODY gives a fuck anymore. these people know toya and nene they jsut assume mafuyu doesn't like to talk.

mr kamishiro will come into the house and he never knows what to expect from his silly son and his emo son. like one night it will be deathly silent except for a 7 hour documentary on computer programming that they've been watching since they've gotten home from school, the next night they'll be listening to hatsune miku on full volume while building the most complicated machine known to man, one night he comes home and finds our mafuyu has been trying to get rui to eat vegetables, ect ect ect.

sometimes mafuyu will be on nightcord calls and rui will just walk into his room while he's composing. and after a while nightcord gets used to it. like sometimes the Other Purple One will come in and stand in the corner of mafuyu's webcam for an hour and that's just what happens. everyone else on call jumps when he suddenly starts talking and giving advice on the composition but mafuyu doesn't bc ofc he don't.

mafuyu does the same thing at wxs rehearsals. mafuyu always walks home w rui so he'll just always watch everyone work. emu's not as scared of him anymore bc <33 he's not being fake <33 and sometimes they'll just come over like "this doesn't flow correctly. also your timing is off. change these lines and also your expression, it doesn't look like you're really feeling it." and that's just what happens.

i think eventually, mafuyu starts to discover his feelings again, bit by bit. until one day he's sitting in the kitchen w rui and starts laughing. and rui's been trying to get them to do that for months. everyone's a little confused and ms kamishiro runs into the kitchen like "MAFUYU DEAR ARE YOU OKAY ???" but then also realizes no. mafuyu's just giggling. probably over a fart joke of all things.

so sometimes rui will just walk in, say a fart joke, and then leave. and that's the ONLY thing that will make mafuyu laugh. rui's stupid fucking fart jokes. mizuki teases them constantly about it but even they can't mae mafuyu laugh. it's only rui's stupid fucking fart jokes. the entirety of wxs makes an entire comedy routine just so mafuyu laughs at shows.

[mgarmagedon]

Okay today I'm giving my honest opinion about Earth Spark season 2 part 1 :D and I still think it's shit :DDD

Before anything, there are gonna be spoilers, so please don't read it if you want to have opinion on your own or just have fun of watching :D

You may ask then, "why tf are you watching it then you stupid hoe", oh silly because I like make my opinion on something, and how could I shit about it if I didn't watch it???

And I will not repeat myself here about things I already complain about it, like graphics (but sometimes I had a feeling like I was watching cutscene from the fucking game on nintendo XDD), texture, this fucking stupid bitch hashtag, etc. but yk have it in mind

But to not being rude I will say something nice first! I like sometimes jokes, like I cringed while them much much more less than last season which is good thing, because few of them were somehow decent like this one with Breakdown and Aftermath which was really lovely to me XD (still hate those bitches as a characters but ykkkk)

Or when Splitfire is calling Megatron, Optimus and Elita old farts, she is fine when she is just sassy

Also as always Jawbreaker was cute, but's just Jawbreaker uwu

Okay it's time to go back on judging this shit >:D

So writing, I think it's kinda random sometimes, and I still don't feel like what are they actually say nobody irl would do. Like they are making so much corny text about how they love each other and always saying something about family, and I'm like bruh, I never EVER heard any siblings even the most loving one say such a things.

I also think Robby became the most useless character there rn, like he didn't nothing important, and don't even let me start talking about episode fucking 8 because it's cringefest, and I needed to stop it every few seconds to take deep breath and continue

And why this stupid hoe Hashtag is managing his dating up, as we know he has complected relation with Elita which means they divorced, but never told anyone besides the closest ppl to them, stop her from doing that PLEASE, he is barely using internet

And I think everyone got stupider, because nobody expected that he will kill Aftermath and Splitfire for crystals and like Twitch didn't expected that chaos terran will fucking be a problem, when they literally call CHAOS TERRANS

But the most got it Soundwave and Shockwave pretty much, because they should be intimidating, and they are just fucking stupid to me

Besides how they build and found resources for such a high advance base and HOW American government didn't make a war with cybertronians after destroying G.H.O.S.T. there is no fucking logic to it.

Besides i feel quite lack of characters, because Nightshade was just background character, Shlouder didn't even talk with was just XD, Megatron was almost not there neither Elita, neither Grimlock, like I'm happy that Wheeljack became bigger part of this fr, but yyyeeeee

And Cosmo, like he was just for a little moment, where everyone had their dedicated episodes :CC

And the most is hard for me is lack of Twitch and Megatron relation, besides of this one moment

Because I'm like watching this show and torturing myself, mostly for them and I hope until the season 2 end we will get it more, because after they cancelled it, we will not get any more ep.

And to stop my bickering, over all for me this one small part had more good things than whole first season, but has lack of things that I'm watching this show for and Hashatag. . . this stupid-

I gave first season 3/10, so I thing fair would be gave it too 3/10, because of what I have said

(IT'S MY HONEST OPINION NOT THE ACTUAL PROFESIONAL REVIEW)

Besides about the show cancellation, I think Hasbro doesn't know what is doing like rn they CANCELLED also transformers reactivate, and I hope it's just weird as rebrand not deleting almost finished game 🤡🤡🤡

Because it's looking like they are cancelling whole transformers franchise to me, and Ik they are rumors of making new cartoon and new things, but then what? They will cancel it again, again and again?

So In my opinion, if new transformers movie won't be a massive success, I'm not seeing bright future for transformers.

[strange-aus-and-crossovers]

Elon storms past me full of anger and disgust

"my blue checks are a disaster everyone is laughing at me.........I am so angry"

Elon kicks a box and squeaks "MY foot!!!!!!"

I laugh a little , its kind of amusing seeing him wince in pain after all he is an assole, does he think the "woke universities" turned his daughter against him?

"You think this is funny.....don't you want a future with me?"

"welllllll"

There is a silence ..then.....

a slow burn muffles from his anus and I sigh "I told you angry farts are to be kept in the bathroom you rich twit"

Elon shrugs , he tries to force a coy smile at me to win me over , he notices I am super hot and out of his league and doesn't want me to leave him because of his angry farts and stupid ass political views .

"what if I run you a bath" I smile at him ?, there is a big ass spark and a lot of tension this time not because of his irritable bowl syndrome .

I run a bath, trailing my hands in delicate circles lets me think......"wtf is this asshole doing with his life and what about my dream as an artist!!!!?! My dumb Uncle is wrong about my dreams"

He takes off his robe and twerks at me "like my trim?"

I see that he has a badly drawn Picture of himself where the sun does not shine.

I laugh "You are such a smug asshole"

He approached me and his hand holds my back gripping me like his hands when thinking of how the election was stolen"

"come on babe don't you want to see my big blue check?"

(its blue because he has died his check the color of twitter)

"Elon.............none of this is real"

Elon rolls his eyes and gets into the bath he smiles as he listens to Fox News from the Tv down the hall.

I sigh I draw a picture for him and write a letter.........

"This cant work you are a smelly asshole and this is a joke"

-Your f/o Cursed Banksy (I had a badly drawing of the male anatomy in the letter )

Musk is sooooooo upset he decides to stop being a piece of shit and change political party.

The end

btw there was no serious Elon x Reader fic I just wanted to see how youd react , just a silly crack fic to ease myself back to writing

This fic opened my third eye.

[arttrampbelle]

Cw: vent

Vent time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mk11 doesn't have plotholes

IT HAVE PLOT CHASMS. PLOT ABYSSES.

Plots so huge,so confusing,so stupid. It makes the old sub zero mythologies,and special forces side games look like decent plots.

The only thing good about it is the og actor is back as shang but even then it's still painful.

9,story is garbage. But the gameplay is amazing.

10,gameplay is out of this world. Story is mid,horrible for some characters but solid main big boss. Online i heard is better than 11. But i hate online competitive gameplay. It kinda sucks the fun away. And not worth it. Plus the amount of guest characters because they killed half the roster. It's ridiculous. And unnecessary. So yeah.

11. *breathes in*. 11. Again they knew the story was crap,half baked. So they made a whole ass expansion to a lukewarm story nobody cared for. To retcon a retcon THEY MADE. And guess what? It's that "we are gonna take everything you love about this series and take a huge fat shit on it. For profit" if you like shang tsung,you may love 11. But even then it feels off. But again thats the best they can do. And you damn well we ain't gonna have this again. If there ever will be a 12. Because at this point im not so sure. And honestly i don't care if they dont make a 12.

It would be a shame. But honestly I'd rather take a non canon ACTUALLY GOOD MK GAME. no bullshit. No fillers. No guest characters. No micro transactions. Just a good ol fashioned mk game. Pick a character,pick an arena,and fight. No complicated over explained story. Simple and to the point. Let the audience and players make a story. Or at least,bring back the spirit of mk. Bring back the ACTUAL CHOOSE YOUR DESTINY part in mk,with more than 2 choices. More than "good" vs "evil" actually have real constructive morally grey areas. Like it's not that hard.

Like get better writers. Fr.

Wattpad has better writers than you NRS.

WATTPAD!

You had 30yrs to get it right. 30!

Almost as old as i am.

Fr. No excuses. You are a decent,multibillion company. Or at very least a professional one. Your servers should be always up to date. You should have things actually in a row. The basics at least.

Like there is no excuses on being sloppy.

This isn't just about mk. This is also from a business perspective.

If you know your story isnt solid. Get better writers. Or tell your writers to stop relying on dumb tropes. And have actual creativity.

You can make things modern without pandering.

You can have nods to nostalgia without pandering too.

Subtle is better.

Cheeky one liners you cant rely on.

If the motives aren't solid. Then things fall apart.

Like they knew that if they dont bring back shang tsung as a big bad boss. It would suck.

Because how can they top corrupt form shinnok. Let's be honest....that was badass.

Nothing was ever really changed. And its a waste of time.

We get nothing but absolute perfection from tagawa's performance. But other then him. Mk11 is weak af.

So again. You like cary hiroyuki tagawa? Good. You're in luck. You like shang tsung? He's the man of the hour.

If you like anything else,anybody else,NRS said fuck you.

Which sucks. Because as a shang tsimp. It pisses me off that that's all they relied on.

And they can't pull that shit again. Because people will know. They already probably do.

They rely on cheap gimmicks,to prey on non mk fans,new fans who haven't touched mk in their whole ass existence and are just getting into it,and y'all fall for it. Because people seem to have short attention spans and need their gatcha fix no matter how poor quality.

Like im sorry. Even if you are new. Have better standards in storytelling. This is a professional company. They shouldn't be worse then us fans telling fart jokes in a fanfic about silly fighting game characters in colorful jammies.

Im just saying.

Im done venting now.

[agentnico]

Weird: The Al Yankovic Story (2022) Review

Before we start, serious question - what the hell is The Roku Channel?!

Plot: The unexaggerated true story about the greatest musician of our time. From a conventional upbringing where playing the accordion was a sin, "Weird Al" Yankovic rebels and makes his dream of changing the words to world-renowned songs come true. An instant success and sex symbol, Al lives an excessive lifestyle and pursues an infamous romance that nearly destroys him.

When Weird was first announced, I’m not going to lie, I shrugged it off. And no, it wasn’t simply because it was going to be released on whatever the hell The Roku Channel is, but because I thought ‘oh look, here’s yet another music biopic, not like we have many of those around!’. However then the trailer released, and that’s when I realised that this wasn’t a conventional biopic, but in fact a parody of the genre itself. And that made perfect sense. Weird Al Yankovic’s entire career is based on parodying, so of course the movie of his life would be a parody too. Immediately the casting of Daniel Radcliffe made so much more sense, as let’s be honest here, Al Yankovic and Harry Potter look nothing alike. However recently Radcliffe had been appearing in very niche and unique indie films where his roles ranged from playing a farting corpse to a man with horns to a straight up Nazi skinhead. Imagine that, one day you’re a kid at Hogwarts learning spells and shit with an owl and the next day you’re a Nazi. So he’s proven to be willing to go as far and wide as you can, so having him play an exaggerated Weird Al (I say that as if the original Al isn’t exaggerated) made perfect sense. 

Now I have seen Weird: The Al Yankovic Story, and nope, still no clue what The Roku Channel is, so you can make your guesses on what means I used to find and watch this movie... So anyway, does it live up to the parody shenanigans it promises? The answer is yes. Look, it’s nothing ground-breaking, however it’s silly and goofy, and if you’re in the mood for something stupid, this is it. Everything is very over-the-top, and every moment of the movie pokes fun at the stereotypical parts of the biopic genre. How much of it is true to life? Well, Weird Al has said in an interview that he only met Madonna once, however in this movie she is featured very prominently, so that’s your answer.

The cast are all very game here. Daniel Radcliffe is very amusing as Weird Al, and what makes him work is that he delivers lines very casually, without forcing the joke, and as such his straight faced performance actually adds to the ridiculousness surrounding him. Evan Rachel Wood is delightfully evil as the villainous Madonna, and Rainn Wilson as Dr. Demento is basically his character Dwight from The Office, just nicer. There are also a load of surprising cameos sprinkled throughout, and no, don’t expect any A-list cameos, these are more obscure ones, but if you know them you’ll recognise them. But yes, the entire cast plays the comedy very straight, which only adds to the absurdity and heightens the jokes. 

Weird: The Al Yankovic Story is a farcical spoof that just gets weirder the further it goes. I mean, the entire final act revolves around Al going up against a certain leader of a drug cartel, and at that point I completely lost it. Also, a minor complaint I’d say is that the movie looks very cheap, in that the many characters that appear seem to be wearing the cheapest Halloween-sale get-ups possible, though now I think that was a purposeful addition to the overall stupid shenanigans the movie is going for. This movie exists for the pure means of fun, and though I do wish we could have gotten more snippets of Weird Al parodying his own music videos, I still got a hoot from witnessing the very true and non exaggerated origins behind such hits as “Eat It” and “Like a Surgeon”. It’s a good time, and though I still think Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story is the superior music biopic parody, Weird is a delightful piece of goofiness that should provide you with enough laughs, should you be able to find wherever The Roku Channel is. 

Overall score: 6/10

[thanasij]

Even my sense of humor is so nonsensical and immature. While I never got to be a child, I never grew up either. I don't often relate to anyone who does not have a brain as rotted as mine. I could find a multitude of reasons for why that is, but to explain one thing at least, I have realized that I must be so easily entertained in order to find a laugh. I can't for the life of me understand complex jokes or pick up on social cues in general. One of the things that kept me entertained as a child, often after getting the shit beat out of me and trying to distract myself from the broken skin and the smell of bleach, was to find something to laugh at. Even if it was the weird noise the door made closing when my parents removed my doorknob. Even if it was a bug flying around and hitting itself repeatedly on the glass of my window in attempt to escape. Even if it was the noises I could make with my teeth that sounded like a fart. I was alone and cold and the skin of my hands was broken and dry from the chemicals, I was hungry and sleep deprived, and I was in a room with only a mattress and a blanket. Nothing else, but me, the window, and the bug in my room. The light, the fan overhead, if I spun around fast enough it would appear still. If my recollection of memory was faster than it was lived, it was so silly to me. I would hear loud noises echo through my mind upon recollection and think them funny, not scary. Slamming my pillow into the wall with a loud smack? Funny to me. Smacking myself until my skin burned an angry red? Funny to me. The thoughts of anything random and nonsensical have saved me for a long time. Child me wonders how funny it would be to walk ok the ceiling, could i put furniture up there? What if i could hide under the sink, what if i could go into the tv and live in some other world, what if I could crawl through the vents and escape, what if i ran away to live in the woods, what kind of life could I make? What if I could climb that tree and scream at people from above? What if I could leave this universe, one where I was not hurting, one where I was not crying, one where I was not hiding, one where I was not burning, one where I was loved, and I mattered, away from this house, away from this room, away from their hands and their voices, away from abuse.

But I was just a bad kid. And I guess I will always be a bad kid. I never got to be a child, I watched the neighborhood kids play from my window. When I could go outside, it was to the backyard. I would play with bugs and wasps and try to catch frogs, I would anger the wasps and get chased until I collapsed, I would eat grass for the laugh, I'd pretend the ants had shit to say, I would scream and laugh because that is what kids did when kids were okay? And I wanted to be. I never understood anything around me. I didn't have time to get invested in too many activities, I had to be quick. And an easy laugh is now one of my only abilities that I never did outgrow.

I am a child. A stupid one. A stupid kid pretending to be an adult.

—Thanasi J.

[mercurialsmile]

Lanx Reviews: Captive Prince

I’m late to the party, but I always am. 

I haven’t really ever blogged about a book or anything before, so this is new and will be rambly and I am not that sorry for that at all. 

Anyways! This review will be broken up into sections. I’ll try to leave spoilers out as best I can, but there may be minor ones. Hooray for organization! 

Some personal notes:

I learned about this book through tumblr, of course. I believe I saw fanart on my dash and figured it was a book series pretty fast, though at the time I had no interest in it at all. Then, when searching for books I wanted to read, I randomly remembered it. My good friend and dear Angel recommended it to me so I bought only the first book, just in case I didn’t like it. 

I want to note here that my relationship with fantasy is... complicated. It’s one of my favorite genres, yet I have a HUGE hatred for the way fantasy books are often presented. Some of the top books I hate and couldn’t get through to save my life are fantasy. The fact that I was able to actually get through this book is impressive enough on its own considering how leery I am towards a lot of fantasy books. This is a good thing!

I do wanna note I read books one of two ways usually; I read the entire thing in one sitting or I put the book down and never pick it back up again. Captive Prince is a rare anomaly in which I put it down and actually did pick it back up. And by “put it down” concerning CP, I mean literally put it down. Like I had to go do chores and afterward didn’t feel like reading and just kinda forgot I was reading it. That being said, I did remember what happened in the book and it was memorable for me which is a good thing. A huge thing of mine is the fact that I have a strong belief that truly good books should leave an impact and be memorable. This isn’t always true, but I personally find it to be an important facet on what makes a book “good.” 

So, was it good in my opinion?

Plot:

The plot is actually decently simple and straightforward, something I automatically took a liking too. So many fantasy books try and go for long, entwined, complicated plots, which can end up getting tiring and make the book a bore to read. To little happening in too much time with a sense that you’re going nowhere. Captive Prince does well as it sticks to its pretty straightforward plot but does it tactfully and lets the nature of politics make things seem and feel more complicated than they really are when you take a step back.

Basically, the prince of the kingdom Akielos (Damen) is shipped off as a slave as part of a peace treaty and a gift to the prince of Vere (Laurent) by his own bastard brother who wants the crown. He is believed to be dead. He wants to get back home to fix his kingdom.

That’s basically what’s on the back of the book. It quickly gets more complicated than that, but pretty much everything plot-related in this book is related to that. There is very little in the way of unconnected subplots that aren’t related to character relationships and arcs. As such, it makes following Captive Prince easy and makes it a pretty easy read (Note: It’s still an adult/mature book). This is refreshing to me. Plus, I really haven’t read too much of this trope, if at all, so that just sweetens it for me further.

The only thing I can say kinda ill about it is that on the back of the book, it mentions Damen and Laurent having to work together. This... doesn’t really happen. They start working together at like... the last couple pages of the book. I felt the back of the book exaggerated how “well” Damen and Laurent “work together” and didn’t appreciate that. 

Overall, though, I found the plot enjoyable, easy to read and comprehend for the most part, and interesting.

Characters: I’m going to focus on the main characters here. 

Damen is the view you as the reader read from. He is wonderful. I really adored Damen a lot. He was relatable in a number of ways at least to me (Not too good at politics, not the smartest person in the book) and you really do feel for him. He is quite the honorable man and, at least in my opinion, has a lot of inner charm. He is mostly a fighter and I also enjoyed how humble he was overall without letting himself being completely walked all over.

Laurent, on the other hand, is harder for me to place. I hated him throughout the middle of the book. Cold, cruel, a complete and utter spoiled brat, and infuriating at times as it felt like he always escaped karma. Every time I thought I was warming up to him, he did/said something that just made me go right back to hating him. As of the end of CP, I can honestly say I do not want these two characters to end up together. However, the very last pages of CP did give me some hope to like his character in the second book, so I am willing to give him more chances. My main issues with his character is that he’s a spoiled brat and thinks he’s better than everyone. I generally hate people who are like this due to my own life experiences so Laurent hit a nerve and left a bad taste in my mouth. Still, I do hope I will like him in the future. 

Regarding the main characters, I did feel they were complicated and they were both interesting to read. Besides during the middle of the book, I enjoyed how they played off one another. 

As for the side characters... I also liked them. Or at least, some of them. Besides Damen, it’s very hard to like certain characters of this book due to spoiler reasons I can’t get into. Though I felt the side characters fit in well, were needed, and I did like a couple of them, I can honestly say Damen is my favorite character. WHICH is a good thing! It seems like every book series I read nowadays has me liking the side characters more than the main character. Actually having the main character be my favorite character is so welcoming to me. 

Setting: The setting matched the tone of the book perfectly. The setting wasn’t overly described as it is in many other fantasy books to the point where the story lags, but there is enough description to get the point across. In a couple of places, it was kinda hard for me to envision what was going on, but overall it wasn’t too distracting. I adored the way Vere was described in many ways. 

The setting itself was pretty interesting I would say. A little standard for a fantasy setting, but it works perfectly with the story and characters. What really made Vere stand out to me was, of course, how free sexuality and sex was in general. I don’t wanna give too much away here, but overall I thought the setting was good. I also like how though the majority of the story stayed within one location, there was plenty of other things going on that the setting did not become boring at all. 

Writing: The writing was quite exceptional. It was quite beautiful and poetic in some places. The style fit the mood and feel of the book very well. A few times I did find myself having to go back and reread parts, however, due to some awkward wording. Also. “Limpid blue eyes” (or something of this sort) reminded me of My Immortal and I had to put the book down to laugh for a good five minutes. But I think that’s just me being stupid then anything actually wrong.

Another small issue I had is that in a couple of places, certain things were worded to make a situation vague just so it can be revealed in like. The next chapter. I found this to be kinda weird and when this happened, the writing felt a little forced and awkward. However, everything else makes up for these couple of flubs. 

Another thing I enjoyed is that nothing was over-described. The descriptions were just enough to paint a pretty picture, but left your imagination do most the word, which I appreciated a lot. A lot of books nowadays like to spend paragraphs just describing characters, including every muscle they have, their jaw shape, their nose shape, and all this other silly stuff. CP never did that, and it was refreshing. 

Sex scenes: 

I thought this deserved its own little section. There really aren’t too many, and none of them are detailed like you’ll find in your every day fanfiction if that’s what you’re gonna go off, but this book is drenched in sex. Despite that, it’s not nearly as vulgar as one would think and is done tactfully. Nothing is shown that isn’t important. Details are scant for the most part besides a couple here and there; just what’s important. Topics such as noncon/rape, pedophilia, and other power imbalances are treated as they should be. Not romanticized and not “prettied up” by the writing to make it any less than what is should be.

World building: One of the things I hate the most is info dumping world building. So many books do it and it’s so frustrating. Captive Prince doesn’t do that. Everything is slowly spoon-fed to you throughout the book when its important. CP is third person limited so you mainly just see what Damen sees, which is smart. Damen doesn’t know much about Vere either, so him questioning things, him asking questions, makes sense in the situation. The exposition is integrated very well. 

The world itself is interesting. It’s pretty standard fantasy flair, but its done well. It’s not overwhelming like a lot of other fantasy books are. You know as much as you need to. 

Also, the integration of why same-sex couples are popular in Vere is done amazingly well and makes sense. A lot of people on tumblr that I’ve seen, or just other people in general, like to stuff LGBT+ characters into their fantasy stories for diversity points, but don’t take a second to stop and think how same-sex couples being accepted/rejected would play into their world building or tie it in a way that makes sense. CP doesn’t have this issue and I especially enjoyed that aspect of the world. 

Some final thoughts: One thing this book made me feel was angry. Mainly for how Damen was treated. He was beaten down a lot and at points I had to put it down, take a deep breath, before picking it back up. This is both a good and bad thing, though for me mostly bad because I dislike feeling frustrated by what I was reading to the point where I almost have to put the book down. I feel if CP had a couple more comical scenes put around, it would’ve helped in the middle. The author did eventually insert some comedy in the latter portions of the book to help balance out the treatment Damen faced, and that really did help, but I wish the same was done towards the middle of the book. 

If you can’t stand main characters being beaten down a lot because you have a lot of empathy like me, you might not like or be able to finish this book. In that sense, I also found the book a little unbalanced due to that middle part. 

Final Rating: 7/10, rounded up from 6.5/10 

[kalinawtokilig]

A Silly S/O that shares one braincell with his best friend

Who doesn’t love a silly, goofy, S/O?

Pair(s) : Akaashi x Reader, Kenma x Reader, Suna x Reader, Kunimi x Reader

(((Ahhhhhahhh bruhhh I literally put the dying inside parted hair dark beauties here,,, ✨ blessing it ✨)))

{This is my first time doing headcanons,, i apologize as it is very early morning and i dont sleep so i may be passing out as soon as i post this ahahahhahahaahha))))) 

{Akaashi Keiji x Reader} 

(Ohh shi- Aight, we startin off with setters huh)

------

To be fair, Akaashi met you through Bokuto, you chaotic duo, whilst Bokuto being a particularly sunny, bubbly guy, its fair he’s friends with someone as goofy as him 

It’s like,,, one of those kinds of friendships you have with Akaashi, whenever you guys are seated next to each other for a group project or simply having a one-on-one convo, you seem to have enraptured him with how funny you are

for example, you being a silly person, you seem to have gotten into a argument with Bokuto, seeing as there was only one braincell, thus being you as the only braincell between the two of you, a juicebox and two of you being dumbasses,,, You proposed to Bokuto to poke a straw through the box so you both can drink from either ends of the straw,,,while bokuto,,, proposed of cutting,,,the juice box,, in half,,, to share,,, 

(No cap, i saw my brother and friend argue and do this,,, it was a waste of a caprisun and i had to drink wine to forget that this is what I put up wit,,,yet i recorded it

Akaashi may have facepalmed when you told him this, but the genuine look of truth and kindness made him soft for you when you continued about your small mishaps 

This mans smiles faintly, so when you talk about a joke or something stupidly funny, he can’t help but have a full on smile, cause you speak so passionately about your small and oblivious situations you keep getting yourself into and the endearing solutions you have

when you get together, it’s no boring life at all

Akaashi is always there to rope you in when things get too hectic, especially around Bokuto, but when its you, he can’t help but grin at how bright you can be when you think of funny ideas for today and the next day

Kozume Kenma x Reader

(OHH SHI- another pretty setter, lucky day :3c)

---------

Ohhh boi this is gonna be so many jokes

You and Kuroo share a braincell, that being annoying Kenma ((That’s what Kuroo thinks at least)) 

Kenma never can get a break,, you being the manager of Nekoma and being good friends with Kuroo, even Yaku is getting a headache

Kenma looks forward to you talking to him ((He finds you genuinely interesting when you pointed out a creative way - more like a newfounded loophole - to one of his video games,, he got kinda hooked on you when you kept telling him possible ways to beat the boss using a weak weapon,, he thought you were buggin,,, nah,, he won and trusted your somewhat foolish advice,,, beating up a miniboss with a stick that had been leveled up from being used worked,,, he doesn’t know what goes on your mind,,, but he wants to know more)))

You tell Kenma funny jokes about the newest character in the game he’s playing, not to mention your own headcanons about them

Kuroo joins in, much to Kenma’s dismay, but with a small smile he likes seeing you enjoy yourself as you talk odd with his best friend

You call him alot of nicknames due to his hair and attitude 

“Aye,, wassup puddinghead?” - “Lil’Calico, how’s it hangin?” - “Tiramisu cup, ya lookin sweet today!” 

Its,, really cute how you think of him, make up nicknames and have this real attitude when you see him

Kuroo kinda ruins them tho, adding an annoying comment about the nickname and Kenma S C O W L S 

OHHHH When you ask him on a date, you use the most creative one liner 

“Instead of me being support how bout I join your party and be your player 2? We’ll use Kuroo as a support, Rooster-Attack!” 

*cue adorable pose*

-Kuroo in the back : “ROOSTER, WHO YOU CALLING ROOSTER YOU-”

You start attacking him with chemistry insult and he dodges it with another chem attack

Kenma has never been so flustered nor entertained before

Overall, Kenma believes that you being a cute, silly, s/o is literally the best thing that has ever happened to him,, (Besides meeting Shoyo of course,, but then again,, that’s always the best thing that can happen to anyone, have you seen that boy’s harem?) 

Suna Rintaro x Reader

((ooooo,,,, man,,,, this mans,,,, he got me,,,, everywhere,,, lmao i pimp him and he isn’t the only one))) 

-------

Suna ,, I pimp you 

OH GAWD, the MIYA TWINS

It’s like,,, an extra Miya,,, but more like,, cousin instead of sibling Miya but still family Miya,, ya get me????

You transferred in during your second year and man,,, having Atsumu and Osamu pushing you to be their manager,,, its been trouble ever since,, even Aran cannot handle the amount of boondoggle that happens in practice

Okay, listen, you, YOU, are the type to be silly, yes, but in a way that makes Atsumu and Osamu start arguing over something silly you said and the twins start fighting because they started to drift somewhere else. 

Basically you drench the kerosene, light it, and leave it for the twins to fan the flames,, they are rolling and causing chaos

You and Suna always record it to blackmail them

Not to mention, you being the wacky person you are, you rope the twins into your shit,,, 

Since your last name is NOT Miya, but your other parent’s name, many of Atsumu’s fangirls don’t,, appreciate you 

You can’t help but dangle funny insults towards your ego-filled cousin, having the fangirls wreak havoc and chase you around

you would and can stop,, buts its too funny seeing them get mad over silly things like how you perceive Atsumu to be an ugly sleeper that farts and wakes up from it (( You lived it as kids when you and your family slept over the twins’ place, Osamu and you have many videos of it)) 

Suna is usually the one hiding you away from the rabid fans who seem to want to defend Atsumu’s perfect image honor. 

This man cannot fathom the amount of trouble you get into sometimes, esp. with the twins

When you two get together, you think of the most diabolical and hysterical plans, Suna there to record and by your side when things start to get out of hand

Suna doesn’t express many emotions, but when you finally get him to show a reaction cause of something you did, whether it be a joke or starting a Miya Twins brawl, he can’t help but have the small ghost of a smile when you’re not looking

Kunimi Akira x Reader

(((ooo another parted hair dark male,, Me likeyy))) 

-----------

You and Kindaichi are like,, a mesh of puns and anger 

Puns on your side and Anger on Kindaichi’s side

For Kunimi, he finds it entertaining, the dynamic you two have 

Though Kunimi doesn’t express emotions as much, ((like the other parted hair babes)) he likes to fan the flames to see his best friend angry 

Kindaichi doesn’t get ‘Mad’, he knows its for jokes,,, it’s just,,, your way of thinking can be so mind blowing that he doesn’t know how some of the things go your way it makes him want to know but he gets annoyed when you tease him about it 

Kunimi likes to see the way your accomplished smile shines, despite having silly pranks or stupid puns, you seem to get his type of humor 

you like to play jokes on Kindaichi, usually poking him when he’s not looking that he jumps out of his skin and he pokes you back and you poke him back, then it becomes a poking war and Kunimi steps to side to see you laugh and when you accidentally poke Kindachi too hard in the gut, he topples over and gives you the finger 

You say something among the lines, “Me? If anything, I won and you’re just salty, like that blond beanpole from Karasuno. Right, Kunimi?” 

Kunimi, I feel, isn’t the type to full out laugh, but snort or hide his laugh with a scoff behind his hand,, you know,,, like all these other men seem to do,, i get that vibe from them 

Dating, nothing changes but the teasing from your side is not overwhelming, yet its not underwhelming,, its actually a good wavelength to match with his own retorts 

Kunimi doesn’t hate that you rope him into your schemes, no matter how ridiculous, if it means he gets to see you smile and look at him with those crinkled eyes that seem to glow with joy,,, he doesn’t mind the effort (But he won’t tell you that) 

----------

((Ngl, this is kinda hard,, yet I tried lmao) 

[number5theboy]

According to Aidan, the whole point of the Paradox Psychosis plot was to get us to see more of a comics based five, and that's why he liked the plot alot. If Aidan had creative control something tells me we would have had something more like the plot of the Dallas comic.

Bless the kiddo, but based on what the show delivered, I’m going to hazard the guess that he is the only one who even remotely cares about comic!Five, or actually gets the appeal of the character, because from what the writers delivered, they....don’t. I agree with you that had he had creative control, we would have had something closer to the comics than the confusing mess the writers put together. There is a lot to like about Aidan Gallagher himself in the paradox psychosis plot cul-de-sac, he has the cold intensity in part of the bar scene and the absolute off-the-shits feral energy that comic!Five has in some of the fight scenes, I actually absolutely enjoy watching him in these scenes, and I believe that he had fun shooting them. I like his performance, but if the writers/showrunners think this is an appropriate tribute to the comic version of Five, they are either making fun of comic fans or have completely and utterly missed what the appeal of Five in the comics is.

Five has one of the most compelling storylines in the volume the second season is VERY loosely, VERY vaguely based on, Dallas. It explores what happened to Five at the Commission, how he was turned into the perfect weapon by the Commission through genetic manipulation, how truly brilliant he is at his job, not just at killing itself, because anyone can be killing machines (that is literally the point of Hazel and Cha-Cha in the comics), but by how clever he goes about it, how he can manipulate and orchestrate the chess pieces in the world to work in his favour, and how, despite being proud of being the best in the world at what he does, Five resents how he had to give up his humanity to survive, and he hates the Commission, who did this to him. It has the whole gazelle scene, which is a clear demonstration of Five’s skills, Five’s very cool relationship with an equally ruthless Allison, Five being blackmailed into brilliantly orchestrating the JFK assassination while having to sidestep his old/younger self, and Five eating his old boss as revenge for turning him into an unfeeling monster. It is a very cool, very well-written character study and really gives comic!Five the depth he didn’t have in the Apocalypse Suite.

And in the show? We get an extended joke scene, where Five is farting and sweating, makes some stupid-ass decisions, has no meaningful, character-insight-delivering interaction with his other self, and overall has NOTHING to do with the main plot, different from the comic, where Five is a key player in the Dallas events. And this comes Five was degraded from criminal mastermind that engineers the death of JFK to the one doing the dirty work for someone else - an original character - masterminding an assassination, and then getting framed for that deed, like an idiot, different from the comics, where Five was blackmailed into doing the Commission’s bidding under threat to his life. And to add insult to injury, the Handler also gets to eat the fish, which is such an iconic moment for Five in the comics because he gets catharsis for all the pain that the Commission caused him. And after doing all of that to him, the writers turn around and tell me that that silly scene is a tribute to comic!Five?!? I just. Flat-out refuse that. Because the vibes are there, partially, thanks to Aidan Gallagher, but he cannot work around the terrible script, which makes Five go off the rails because of a stupid, contrived sickness. In the comics, Five’s feral energy, as well as his cold calculatedness, is a direct consequence of his humanity being literally cut out of him, to the point where murder becomes a physical necessity. I can’t express enough how much of a downgrade Five’s plot in the show is compared to the comics.

The writers cannot make the decisions to cut all of Five’s interesting, character-exploring plot points from the comics, invent a plot-convenient time travel sickness that leads to a side quest that brings the viewer no character exploration or meaning but does make Five act approximately like his comic counterpart in-between the comic relief, the farting, the jokes, the terrible decisions, and call that it their excuse to explore comic!Five, if nothing in their writing shows me that they understand what makes that Five a compelling character, or even that they understand comic!Five as such. It is, at best, a pale, empty imitation of a character that was reasonably complex and incredibly intriguing, and that shows up in the completely wrong framing, for the completely wrong reasons.

And I’m not blaming Aidan Gallagher for any of this, he does not have any say in the storylines he gets, all he’s allowed to do is act what he gets to the best of his abilities. I’m just saying that if I held the role of Number Five and I liked the comics, especially Dallas, and I got the scripts for Season 2, where there is no trace of the complex and dark character exploration that happens in the comics, and instead I’d have to act ~crazy~ and fart my way through a plot that has no impact on the main storyline, no real impact on my character, and nothing in common with the brilliant chessmaster that Five is in the Dallas comic, I would be disappointed. And insulted on behalf of the comics too. I understand and believe that he was happy to explore the character being a bit closer to the comics, because he has been vocal about how much he likes the source material, and especially Five in it, I just think that he deserved to put his acting chops in service of the full version of comic!Five rather than this incredibly disappointing imitation.

TL;DR: The idea that the paradox psychosis is an exploration of Five being more like his comic counterpart is ridiculous and frankly insulting to the well-written and interesting plot and character Five has in the Dallas comic, and shows that the writers have little to no idea that it is complexity and moral ambiguity rather than the face-value feral behaviour that makes comic!Five a compelling character and a fan-favourite among fans of the original comic.

Oh, and I am not saying that anyone reading this can’t enjoy the paradox psychosis bit on its own, to each their own, honestly, I’m just taking issue with the idea that it is a faithful exploration of comic!Five. So yeah, I’m with you on the idea that if Aidan Gallagher had creative control over the storylines, we’d have something that comes closer to Dallas, Anon. 

[farty-city]

inside bo burnham review no one asked for

i enjoy other peoples commentary and i was writing down my first thoughts anyway so here it is

inside

first song/intro song

i like the phone screen on him, very reflective of how we have had phone screens on us

“roberts been a little depressed” osnskjdnfs

they were right “daddys made you some content so open wide” hjbfafn

intro

oh my god he looks awful

but like in a cute way

maybe

healing the world with comedy (second song)

the canned and queued laugher no exactly… is it a symbol or is it just funny.. who's to say. 

it think its a good first song, establishing he knows what he is doing is kind of useless 

“the indescribable power of your comedy”

he looks like marc maron rn

i like the synthed voice and synthesizer

the jesus allusion … yeah

“i'm a special kind of white guy”

this feels like he knows how he is perceived by fans.. Make happy was too much

his fucking dancing fksjdnfksj

i think he did a good job looking manic

the lasers lmao

Side 1

Bo made a huge gamble releasing this like,,, what if you just stumbled upon it and this was ur first introduction to him..

I bet its like when i comment dumb things on instagram comments and get that rush of hehehehe

NO NOT BO DEVELOPING BILLIE EILLISH VOWELS

Also this is exactly what he wanted like,, he just wanted to make his things and not deal with the crowds so..

To think i was like finding scraps of him performing at largo and stuff and now,, so much content

life imitates art

the way he's literally what he wrote hgbkdf

there is no authenticity with cameras

suicide ?

 facetime with my mom tonight

the blue light.. Yeah

o hblue like sad

i don't know how i feel about the electric music but i guess its no different than whatever else i listen to

this is sad wow

still catchy etc

side 2

i wonder if here will be any fart jokes

that is how the world works (songs)

the huge mess and then him in a sweater

this is reminiscent of that walmart muppets

he became tim minchin with a sock puppet

the “yes… yes sir” stoppp 

jkgdsnfijwkensfosnf

qbejfnjne

nerjgnoejns

bo making a political statement and a metaphor for activism and then making it weirdly kinky

brand consultant (bit)

man bun

i have to believe he filmed it with the beard because quarantine vibes and also bc he was tired of being seen as a child

white womans instagram (song)

i did not like that intro

BO AND GLASSES THANK GOD

the daisies wow just wow

underwear

“white womans instagram” or “bo burnham becomes a girlboss”

i like that he didn't lose his cadence like the way the rhymes are you can still tell its him

i don't get the mom part sorry

is it like how people are very superficial but also very personal on their instagrams

this part was legit sad

side 3

i wonder how he felt with cameras constantly on him

Although this is the point hes trying to make

lol seinfeld moment (bit)

unpaid intern (bit and song)

“barely people somehow legal” was so smooth woW

omg he was scatting

he was a man who would scat

oh my god what great news

the react clip omg

i cant believe he did that oh my god

observation/critisism and response to the “can anyone shut the fuck up” 

and as i realized what he was doing he was like “i have this need for everything i make to have a deeper meaning” oh my god

now the question is how long will this go on?

jeffrey bezos (song)

idk its catchy

and then theres him like sleeping and talking which kind of is part of the jeff bezos song

bug eyes salamanders hehe

sexting (song)

i do believe this is just a silly song 

the earrings tho omg

sounds like post malone hbkjdsnfskj

idk its still about like intimacy in quarantine and that stuff..

the knife (bit)

i know hes copying like other youtubers but like,,, what

stuck in a room (song)

the intro is very funny and relatable

classic bo i love it 

i will say this special has been more reflective but i suppose it has to be

“look whos inside again”

i like the end too, this is all a fabrication

this is the clip where hes staring at the projection of himself from his old youtube videos which is sort of more like an ending to the “stuck in my room” song

 sorry (song)

i love the 80’s style music and its like zumba

oh this is like an apology song

“father please forgive me for i did not realise what i did, or that id live to regret it” what a catchy line

i would say this is another more “classic” bo song where its self aware and funny

“my closet it chalk full of stuff that is vaguely shitty” 

camera falling

this deserves its own bullet because its silly

i'm turning 30 (bit and song)

i remember him talking about this on a podcast and like,, damn i didn't know this also happened LOL

i really like how he did the lighting 

“stupid fucking ugly boring children”

suicide talk (1)

this is interesting i like the use of the projection

this is something that could never have happened onstage

just like with the it being projected on him

i guess it could but it would have to be done differently and probably hed have to make it funnier to make it more engaging

intermission

i just checked this is about the halfway point.. Mh

i don't wanna know (song)

“i thought it’d be over by now”

i wish this was longer but i kind of like how its just a little snippet and then the cut

video game (bit)

“i guess i’ll cry again”

“is the dude big or is the room small” lol

hm depression

 feelin like shit (song)

ohh the lighting is fun again

this is the tone shift i suppose

the feels like supalonely and the new kind of music

atl

:(

panic attack 

everything all of the time (song)

feels like brandon rogers 

i enjoy this

this feels like “welcome to youtube” grew up

“a little bit of everything all of the time”

“apathys a tragedy and boredoms a crime”

ok olivia rodrigo

finishing the special (bit)

these feel like diary entries but as standup

interesting choice

jeffery bezos (2)

Why the seaweed suit

Where did he get that

the digital space (bit)

suit up, gather what is needed, and return to the surface

damn

pirate map anfdkjfnskjd

this was so stupid (affectonate)

that funny feeling (song)

the campfire vibes 

kenny loggins

i don't get it..

is it about childhood, is it about the present?

i think its talking about the end of content? 

“the end of culture”, to quote make happy

change and not liking it 

“we were overdue, but it will be over soon”

if the second half of the special is like a panic attack this song is like a momentary pause before it gets worse

“so ive been working on this special”/breakdown 

this was .. uncomfortable and genuine which i'm sure is why he kept it

all eyes on me (song/rant)

another sad thing to watch.. damn

me trying to tell if the audio was from make happy

i think he was trying to make it as if the audio was from make happy 

this feels.. familiar

and obviously that is the point

“come on in the waters fine”

the use of autotune during the talking part... yeah

sad that he was gonna make another special… and it would have been totally different than this

i’ve decided i like the homage to make happy

It feels like hes made peace with it

the montage of him waking up and the “i think i'm done”

and then of course the ending where he's watching it over to remind us that its all fabricated

possible ending song/ “i promise to never go outside again”

ngl he looks good in the shirt with the haircut hehe

which i feel like is what he wants up to notice

and then like not think after we saw all his breakdowns

“i want to hear you tell a joke when no ones laughing in the background”

i really like the medley

Final thoughts

I want a blooper reel, but this doesn't seem like the kind of special

I also wonder if the songs will be on like apple music, but again, doesn't seem like the kind of special

I'm happy for him, he got to be honest and open and show us the sort of panicky stuff

this self aware comedy is exactly the stuff that i think will be making a comeback in the next decade.  John better be pulling up with more deconstructed comedy. 

I hope this has given him peace

[tanzaniiite]

hi i hope ur doing okay🥺!! Can I request a fluff scenario where older kuroo and his s/o are cuddling and he's rubbing his palm against her belly which seems bigger than usual and thinks that shes pregnant since they haven't been careful lately (he's excited about being a dad so he's :D!!) but turns out that she just ate too much for diner and she suggests rlly trying to have a baby after seeing kuroo so enthusiastic? Thank you so much :(💗✨

JUST A THOUGHT • KUROO T.

requests: OPEN

warnings: none!

word count: 1.5k

a/n: omg yes anon we’re on the same wavelength, i live for this shit. thank you so much for the request! 😊

part two

send me more shit like this, 🅱️lease

“Hey princess! I’m home!”

You looked up from your work as the door closed gently. You watched as your boyfriend took off his shoes and tossed his gym bag on the couch. "Excuse me sir, get your smelly gym clothes off my couch" You teased, getting up to greet him. Kuroo feigned a wounded expression, "Uhh babe, my clothes do not smell" He retorted, his hands grabbing your waist and pulling you closer.

You smiled and leaned up to peck his lips, "Your body odor begs to differ" You say, scrunching up your nose and turning on your heel. You hear Kuroo gasp dramatically and you giggle to yourself. "Ugh, you're so mean to me Y/n. What's for dinner?" He asks, hugging you from behind. You roll your eyes playfully, knowing exactly what your horny boyfriend was trying to do. "Hm, let's see.. how about a shower?" You ask rhetorically, turning around to face him.

"What? Seriously?"

"Yeah, seriously. I just cleaned these counters Testu"

He groaned as he went towards the bathroom like a grumpy child who didn’t want to take a bath. You shake your head and turn back around to get dinner ready. Moments later Kuroo pops his head out, "At least join me?" He pleads. "Testuro." You say, without even turning around. "Okay okay, I got it" He mutters before returning inside the bathroom.

"Oh? Did you actually comb your hair this time?"

Kuroo fake laughed as he dried his hair, "Ha ha ha, you're hilarious babe" He mocked. You smiled widely at him, "I know right? Maybe I should quit my job and do stand up" You replied, washing your hands in the sink. Testu rolled his eyes and kissed your cheek. "Dinner looks great, are your parents coming over or something?" He inquired, reaching for the gyoza.

You smacked his hand, "No, I just don't feel like cooking every day this week. Whatever we don't eat will be leftovers. Wash your hands" You explained. "Ah well, I'll have you know I have a big appetite," Kuroo said, nipping at your neck. You let out an annoyed sigh, "Testu, your hands. Wash them" You stated, putting down the plates. "Ugh, you're no fun" He whined, going to the sink.

You and Kuroo laid in bed, watching some show on your TV. It seemed like you would be able to go to sleep without any of your boyfriend's traditional before bed antics. But even you knew that was stretch, especially when he burped in your ear. "Ew Testu, you're disgusting" You cringed, turning away from him. "Aw come on, I know you love it," He said, turning you back over to face him.

"I don't like your burps babe, it's gross"

Kuroo scoffed, "It's the circle of life, especially when your girlfriend makes a kick-ass dinner" he complimented. "Flattery won't get you in my pants" You laughed, as Testuro feigned a hurt look. "Do you think that all I think about is sex? I'm wounded princess" He claimed. You rolled your eyes, "No I don't think that but I know it takes up a good chunk of your thoughts" You say, tapping his forehead lightly.

Your boyfriend's fingers ran up and down your forearm, "Since we're on the topic of sex, you okay? We haven't y'know.. done it in a while" He asked. You shake your head, "I'm fine babe, my sex drive just isn't as high as yours. But if you behave, we can do something tomorrow" You promised, placing a kiss on his lips. Kuroo smirked, "Oh yeah? I look forward to it" He replied as his hand starting trailing down to your stomach and rubbing it gently.

"Testu.. are you trying to make me fart?"

Kuroo let out a loud laugh, "Maybe. I can't be the only gross one in this relationship" He said. "Ugh, whatever man" You retorted, closing your eyes. Testuro looked at your stomach with piqued curiosity, was it just him or did your stomach look bigger? Feel bigger? He didn't want to get his hopes up but maybe–

"What're you all smiley about?" You asked, peeking at your boyfriend with one eye open. "Nothin'" He hummed, continuing to rub your stomach. Maybe you were pregnant and you didn't know? Or maybe you did know and was waiting to surprise him? Oh, what if– "Okay babe, talk to me. You're never quiet unless you're asleep, what going on?" You ask, turning on your side and looking at him with concerned eyes. "I'm alright... random question: when was the last time you got your period?" He asked, looking you in the eyes.

You laughed thinking he was joking but when you saw his face you stopped, "You serious?" You asked. Kuroo nodded, waiting for an answer. "Uhh, about two days ago, why?" You answered. Testuro's face dropped a bit, he knew he shouldn't have gotten his hopes up. They were crushed before they even festered. You placed a hand on his cheek, "Hey.. what's up? You're acting weird all of sudden" You whispered. Kuroo just sighed, "It's nothing, just a silly thought" He mumbled. You must've looked unconvinced cause Kuroo kissed your forehead and dismissed the conversation.

"Let's get some sleep, ‘kay?"

This has been gnawing on your mind for the past week. You knew your boyfriend and you knew he wasn't telling you something. He was fine earlier in that evening, cracking jokes and being his usual stupid self. But when you guys started cuddling he got all weird and even asked you about your period. What the hell was that about anyway?

"Y/n!"

Your head snapped up, "Oh. Sorry" You apologized. Kiyoko just smiled slightly, "You seem to have a lot on your mind. Penny for your thoughts?" She asked. You chuckled breathlessly, "I don't even know what's going on, Testu's acting weird" You claim. Kiyoko raised an eyebrow, "More than usual?". You laughed, "Yeah something like that. Enough about me, so you and Tanaka huh?" You asked, holding her hand to admire the engagement ring that adorned her ring finger perfectly.

Kiyoko chuckled, "Yup, he finally wore me out" She stated. "Lucky you, I don't when Testu is gonna purpose. But probably no time soon since he bought this expensive ass promise ring last year" You vent, looking at the ring on your finger. "Yeah.. but you never know. I didn't even know Ryu had money in savings, let alone the money for an engagement ring" She explained.

"But back to you, Kuroo is acting weird. How exactly?"

You explained what happened last week to her. Kiyoko hummed and sipped her tea silently. "It sounds like he thought you were pregnant" She stated, placing her cup down gingerly. You almost choked on your coffee, "Huh?!" You exclaimed. "Yeah, I'm surprised you didn't come to that conclusion on your own. He asked you about your period" She said. You placed your face in your hand, "Okay.. but why on earth would he think that?" You asked rhetorically.

"Well you said he was rubbing your stomach, maybe you gained weight and he figured it was baby weight?" Kiyoko guessed. You blushed slightly, "We literally just finished eating, I was bloated," You say defensively. "Hmm, have you guys been using protection lately?" She asked. "Well, not really" You answered, sipping your coffee. "Ah, that's why. You haven't been using protection and you were bloated. He probably thought he put two and two together" Kiyoko shrugged.

"Ugh boys are so stupid"

"You said it"

"I'm home!"

You turned to the door from your spot on the couch, "Hey baby, how was work?" You asked. Kuroo shrugged, "It was alright" He replied plainly. You grit your teeth slightly, before getting up and standing in front of your boyfriend. "Okay, enough of this. Tell me what's wrong or we're going to sit here until I guess correctly" You state, crossing your arms over your chest. Kuroo sighed, clearly tired.

"Princess I already told you, I'm–"

"You thought I was pregnant"

Testuro looked at you with a shocked expression, "What?" He asked. "Last week. When your whole weirdness thing started, you thought I was pregnant. Right?" You pressed. Kuroo tried avoiding your gaze but you weren't having any on it. "Testu." You warn. "Okay fine! Yeah, I did, it was a stupid thought" He sighed. "I– the thought of being a father really excited me and when you said you got your period, I don't know.. it kinda bummed me out" Your boyfriend explained, looking anywhere but your face.

You grabbed his face gently, positioning it to look at you. "Hey. That's not a stupid thought. Do you know how many times I think about having kids with you? Too many times. I'm glad we're on the same wavelength when it comes to that. Not too many guys are keen on kids when they're still in their twenties y'know?" You replied, resting your forehead on his. Kuroo let out a relieved sigh, "Yeah, good thing I'm not like most guys, huh?". You giggled, "Yeah you're really one of a kind, your pull out game is on point. Most guys can't do that" You jest. Testuro rolled his eyes but looked at you with complete love and admiration, "Well, what would you say if I wanted you to put a baby in me right now?" You asked.

Kuroo pursed his lips in fake thought before grinning widely,

"I would say: let's fucking go"

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