#farty got tagged

[lotusfartstwice]

10 First Lines Tag Game! ✨

Tagged the one @spellcasterlight thank u <3

I’ll put this under a readmore cut ha

1) Sense and Sensibility - [established Shikalee, wip] Naruto definitely has a good sense for this kind of thing. 2) OmegaOmegaAlpha - [established Shikalee --> Juugoshikalee, abo, lime, oneshot] They were considered an odd pair: two omegas. 3) De(e)ar Gift - [Gen, Shikamaru and Shikadai father-son oneshot] It’s midday when Shikamaru braves the market place. The crowd bustles with activity and the Nara head regrets sleeping in. He knew he shouldn’t have. The thought was a bad idea from the get go, lit up in neon in his mind’s eye…yet his futon had been so inviting. Just a little sleep. A birthday treat.

4) Untitled - [Gen, Neji and Lee start of team building]

SPLOOSH! 5) Untitled - [Shikalee, hurt/comfort] He can’t recall the mission right now. He had to- was it a retrieval? He can’t remember. Huh. He felt dizzy. He clutches at his rather wet torso. Keep pressure. Stay alive. Keep pressure. 6) Souls and Lack Thereof - [Sakulee, succubus au, lime, oneshot] Food comes in all shapes and sizes for someone like her. Her favourite place to acquire her meals were various bars and clubs in the city. She doesn't stake claim like others like her, no, she just rotates where she eats. 7) Sandy Whirlpools - [Narugaa, prompts and other oneshots] “Okay, so according to Sakura you gotta have water!” Naruto held up a bucket of water he had collected from the ocean. “Then the sand will hold its shape.” 8) Chain of Leaves and Blossoms - [Sakulee, prompts and other oneshots] He first sees her on the train ride to school. 9) Over, Under and Inbetween - [Sakulee, hades/persephone au, wip] Sakura frowns because this is not what she expects when arrives. 10) Tried and True - [Gen, Rock Lee and Metal Lee father-son oneshot] “Ahh Papa! The baby is so small!” his son’s panicked tone made him pause. He watched as Metal took some breaths to compose himself, still carefully holding the infant (Lee’s beautiful grandchild!). “Is this normal?” He looked at Lee, eyes very misty.

ahhhh tagging @nomisupernova @grimdarkmage @chaosnojutsu and anyone else who wants to join in!

[1945sellmeats]

100% Overwhelmed

things are just a bit too much

[bluebandjunior]

its like 7 am where i live im just playing ponytown ehehehehehehh.......... hehehehh...... hahaha.... ggehehekeelkeke.... eeekkekekeke... fufufufuf..... kekkek

[rereadanon]

Weekly Tag Wednesday Thursday 🫠

Thank you for the tag @deedala, @suzy-queued, @thepupperino, @gardenerian, @metalheadmickey, @gallawitchxx ! I am really trying to be more social so here it goes..

name: Anna

age: 39 😬

astrological sign: ♐️

upon which continent do you reside: North America

tell us how you're feeling right now using 3-5 emojis: 👩🏼‍🌾😬🥐😴☕️

whats your favorite flavor of gum? Trident Tropical Twist but I found out chewing gum makes me extra farty so I don't really do it anymore

whats the last movie you watched? The Idea of You 🥵🥵

what was your worst subject in high school? All of them but math can especially suck it

whats the job you stayed at for the shortest period of time? My first job was at a bagel shop where I promptly got fired for mixing up orders and giving my friend free food

whats your favorite thing to do at an amusement park? I am not really big on rides but amusement park food can GET IT

what condiments go on top of the perfect hot dog (meat or plant-based)? I am a purist (ketchup, mustard, relish) but I will say I have not really had the opportunity to try other versions so I am open!

cincinnati chili, thoughts? I can't say I have had it but it sounds awesome

do you sleep with a plushie? Just a dog and a man

how do you feel about thunderstorms? I am very into them as long as there is no tornado threat. A good afternoon storm is such a reset!

what's the last animal you touched? The neediest dog on the planet (I love him)

grab the nearest item with words on it that ISNT a book and tell me the final word: Notification (my phone)

have you ever forgotten to do an assignment until the night before its due? Honey, I will purposely forget and then be paralyzed with panic and then churn it out ridiculously fast and then LEARN NOTHING from the experience and do it again next time

No tags because I’m late but if you are so inclined, go for it. I promise to do better next time (see the last ?)

[saydams]

url tag meme--songs

thanks for the tag, @strikercorbie!

s- she's got her ticket by tracy chapman

a- all i really want by alanis morissette

y- you're all i've got tonight by the cars

d- dance inside by all american rejects

a- a whiter shade of pale by annie lennox

m- me and a gun by tori amos

s- shoebox by barenaked ladies

tagging (no pressure, just if you want!)

@hellolovelyscientist, @thefloralmenace, @weshallbekind, @tallest-tulip-poplar, @fartie, @roboticutie, @mistressmiyu, @norsewitchleah, @muldur, @lenarkena, @syntactition, @voidingintotheshout, @sparklykestis

(list songs where the first letter spells out your tumblr name)

[im-really-confused121]

Ok so i've decided put all of my A03 works in one post, for ease of access or if anyone is interested (yes this is a blatant plug)

The format will be: Name / Link Word count/content warnings Tags/ships Description Any thoughts or comments from me

(if anyone is looking to be a beta please message me!!)

Completed works (as of DEC 2021):

Call The Doctor (I May Need Help)

Part 1 of the Joshua Fucking Minyard series

Words: 23372 Chapters: 8/8

#Andrew Minyard/ Neil Josten #Kid fic #Aaron Minyard / Katelyn #Angst #Happy ending #Explict discription of abuse #Mental Health #found family

Aaron's been a doctor for over 5 years now, and every once in a while he gets a patient that reminds him of his past.

Aaron gets a new patient, and it hits a little too close to home

cue the Minyard family

A/N Probably my proudest work but also could do with some major editing

UPDATE: There are is now a Russian translation available (wtf!?!? i'm so honoured)

Table Talk

Part 2 of the Joshua Fucking Minyard series

Words: 2693 Chapters: 1/1

#Family dynamics #Found Family #Kid Fic #Homophobic and ignorant comments #fluffy

Andrew gives some surprisingly helpful advice

OR

Andrew parents hard

A/N short and sweet, honestly just hadn't moved on from Call the doctor (I may need help) so I wrote this

First Impressions

Part 3 of the Joshua fucking Minyard series

Words: 11346 Chapters: 3/3

#references to mental health issues #trans character #polyamorous relationships #shovel talk #sexual references #kidfic #found family #fluffy

Andrew and Neil have found themselves with three kids, one adopted and two honourary. Nevertheless, when it's time to meet their children's significant others... well no one would like to be in that position

A/N I'm just milking it at this point, and desperately needed to stop procrastinating work and move on - I still Iike it tho

Bees Bagels

Bagel Cafe Meet Cute

Words: 5315 Chapters: 1/1

#Andrew/Neil #cafe meet #meet cute #Universeity / college au #genuinely very discriptive about bagels #oneshot #there is actually plot #shockingly

Andrew would arrive with a huff smelling of stale coffees and burnt bagels. He’d throw his bag on the ground in the middle of the walkway and in the way of everyone, he’d unwrap his bagel loudly, wrapper crinkling and crumbs dropping, and he’d smudge his chocolatey fingers all over everything he touched, leaving a trail all over Neil’s stuff, that leads right to the boy that seemed to make everything feel just a little bit better. ---- Neil's local bagel cafe with fresh hot bagels piled high on delicious overflowing fillings captures Neil's heart and stomach quickly. The Blond man behind the counter, who always knows his order, and helps Neil in a way no one else has before, captures his heart just as quickly.

A/N: honestly love this sweet summer child of a fic, short and sweet, but will also make you hungry ~I got so hungry writing this~ . Good bedtime story read, if i do so say myself

What it's like (dating Andrew)

Words: 2633 Chapters: 1/1

#Andrew / Neil #neil vs reporter #established relationships #dialogue heavy #fluffy #very very very light angst #slightly ooc #swearing

Neil is happy, he won his game, and he gets to go home to his boyfriend. First, he's got to speak to a reporter.

In which Neil gets sick of the questions, goes off at a reporter and defends Andrew. Andrew isn't impressed (or so he says).

A/N this was the first AFTG fic I wrote, and honestly don't expect much from it, it's short but sweet

It's a farty party

Words: 2159 Chapters: 1/1

#Andrew / Neil #fluff and humour #crack fic #slice of life #fart jokes #poo jokes #oneshot #bad jokes

Andrew refuses to accept he's lactose intolerant, but Neil's had enough of the farts ~ truly one of the most stupid fics I've ever written, but hopefully it makes you laugh.~

A/N this is a very stupid lighthearted and kinda gross fic, if you don't like fart or poo jokes this is truly not for you

Works in Progress (WIP) - as of AUG 2023

Interlaced

Words: 26K Chapters: 7/?

#Andrew / Neil #highschool au #mental health issues #explicit recreational use of drugs #andrew and Aaron adopted by Bee #Neil adopted by stuart #explicit sexual content #established relationship #twinyard dynamics #codependecy #more tags will be added

What happens when you only have one best friend and start dating him? your therapist gets concerned, and you have to make new friends.

Andrew and Neil are told to make widen their social circle (that consists of two, maybe three if you count Aaron), and as far as Andrew and Neil are concerned, they are not a fan of this idea, and would really rather not.

The Palmetto high school Exy team, however, are determined to prove otherwise (and maybe find some more team members along the way - but that’s not the point Kevin)

A/N my current WIP, I've been terrible with updating, but I SWEAR I will finish the story. Otherwise Its a high school au where they are already dating from the beginning, it has some pretty heavy content, but nothing worse than cannon.

[busnautica]

My rwyley arty fartys being tagged as "blorbo from my games" rly got me good

Legit realization: he is my blorbo too

Also can't believe I was """"on time"""" for a human holiday bro ,,, gottem

[afoolandathief]

Find the word tag!

Tagged by @faelanvance to find sword, hunt, desire and taste:

Sword

So, I started writing sections of Something Wicked completely out of order, so here's something far off in the future for Jade:

“I already destroyed him, [redacted]. Manifested the flames of Hell and took him down.”

Jade felt something sharp and cold in her back. She looked down and saw the end of a broadsword poking out of her chest.

[redacted] blinked back tears, her face a mask of rage, as she pulled back the sword. Jade started coughing up blood.

“Jade?” a voice said in the distance.

Hunt

From Something Wicked draft I:

“You remember what you did next, Caz? After you got that in the mail?”

He stared blankly.

“I killed every last one of them.”

“You did more than that, Caz,” [redacted] said. “From what I could gather from the old reports, you basically hunted them for sport.”

“All I was was a hired gun, [redacted],” he said sharply. “Not even a Goddamn foot soldier; I had nothing to do with their conflict. And you don’t mess with a man’s wife. They broke all the rules.”

Desire

From Something Wicked draft II:

Jade pulled out her ear buds and busied herself with searching for an old playlist she had made back in high school, keeping the music on the highest volume possible.

She had no desire to hear the man struggle as Caz pushed his head to the side and stretched his neck taut. She already knew the last thing he would see was Caz’s smile growing wider, and wider still, before something would unstick and hinge down from the roof of his gaping mouth.

Taste

So "taste" comes up quite a few times in Something Wicked:

“I may have to up that price by another $10,000, actually. Do you remember what cooked steak tasted like, Mraz?”

“Um, cow meat was a little hard to come by where I grew up.”

“Oh, of course, I forgot. The 1,000-count assassin used to be little more than a peasant.”

Caz gritted his teeth.

“A sip of her is like having an entire filet mignon, I swear,” he continued. “You sure you’re not interested? Dopo tutto questo tempo, te dovete essere o affamati di lei o arrapati per lei.”

“Vai a farti fottere, Giuseppe.”

Open tag to find wild, moral, struggle and bend.

[defsigh]

2019 Appreciation Post

this year i met so many incredible people, so i wanted to pop off about some of my favs:

@yutaeil : you don't get a paragraph cause e w (jkjk i l*ve you loser)

@chippychee : i've said this before and i'll say it again until you believe it: you are a fucking amazing human being that i'm so lucky to have met. being able to unleash the crackhead with you this year was lit 👁👅👁🤙ly chloop

@lucyhasproblems : how can i word my love for my dear gc wife? 🤧 but in all seriousness, you are literally one of the most funny, intelligent, charismatic ppl i've met irl or online. i'm literally in awe of how perfect you are ✊🤧 it's an honor to know you boon

@sweetchaos-yk : my fav yonk dealer 👁👅👁 you are literally a ball of kindess and support, and being able to experience a fraction of your love is amazing 🤧 you are always showering us all in yonks and love and I appreciate you so much

@ethereal-bean : smarty farty pants!!! i aspire to be as thoughtful, considerate and trustworthy as you. everyone was able to rely on you for that Good Advice and i really admire that about you 🤧 i hope you know i'm always a dm away to support you like how you do with all of us ❤

@thatadorkablegirl : my favorite adorkable girl 🤧 you are literal sunshine and your presence brightened up my 2019 so much. you've talked about your struggles this year and the impact we had on you, but know you did the same for us. i know i'm speaking for more than myself when i say you have had such a positive impact on my everyday life ❤

@yeetyouhoes : danny. you have blessed my year with your hyunjin spams and hilarious jokes. i am honored to be graced by Sir Daniel himself whenever you hmu 🙏

@veckvontour : we bonded over my fictional wedding and sweet tea on day 1 and i feel like that says a lot about our relationship hsjdjdjd you are such a creative, talented boon and i appreciate you so much izzy ❤

@nakamowoto : you are such an interesting, funny person and the amount of times you had me ctfu out loud is ridiculous. seeing you stick up for chloop throughout the few months i've known you both made me want to be a better friend like you ✊🤧

@rescuememp3 : we haven't talked a whole bunch recently cause life be fucking me up but our convos showed me how much of a sweet person you are 🤧 also you got t a s t e so fangirling with you is always a good time 👌😏

@iiasha : shout-out to my fellow boomer and resident soft stan. i don't have many mutuals who ult both svt and exo so seeing your posts always make me smile 👁👅👁 also your tags always have me ctfu ahkdkdhd

@artisticgrroove : we haven't talked much but you are one of my fav mutuals ❤ your blog is so lit and you be puttin that Good Shit on my dash 👌👌👌 despite never talking one-on-one, i really appreciate you and your chill vibes 🤙

there's a whole list of ppl i could go off about, but for the sake of getting this posted before 2020, here's to all these lovely people: @applejwoos @fandom-queen-aka-trash @incoherent-piece-of-trash @stars-of-the-rainbow @sanownsmyheart @homeiswhereyoustoreyourlove @honeymoon-changb @semisofthours @qtsoftie @sxrrytxbxtheryxu @chanswish @nigiriboy @slightly-momo @imbored-6 @strayseungmin @cutieracha @henloimawierdobye @nubluko @uhhh-idk-hello @yeomjoo @pinktiger501 @gekkoin-noel @the-trth-untold @gwwennie @flower-child21 @aceforeverz @a-divine-black-woman @bubbleskwan @jihoonspout @softboyyoun @softshineenights @ugh-my-mind-snappedt @pettyboyalec @34k @azurestars6

even if we've never talked, y'all are all ~beloved~ and i thank everyone mentioned in this post for putting up with my crackhead self until the end of of the decade 👁👅👁🤙 (if you finally get tired of my shit in 2020 i can't even blame y'all ahksjdsh) n e ways ily all and here's to a lit new decade ❤

[bloodfart666]

Rules: Answer 21 questions, then tag 21 people you want to get to know better.

I got tagged by @simonsoderbergtrash and @leahtheclownofdistruction123 thank you guys 💜💜💜

Nickname: Fartie, Trashmouth, Oompa

Zodiac: Taurus

Height: 6’2”

Last thing searched: status update on the Friday the 13th lawsuit

Favorite Musicians: Siouxsie Sioux, Peter Murphy, Robert Smith, the 69 eyes, Slipknot, HIM, Misfits, Slayer, Cannibal Corpse, Lamb Of God, Chad Grey, All That Remains, etc

Song stuck in head: Patricia In Pain by Paralysed Age

If you had a time machine would you go back in time or visit the future? I wanna go to space so the future for me.

Do I Get Asks: Not often

Following: I follow 884 and 171 follow me.

Would you rather be rich or famous? Rich. Give my dumb ass lots of money and I’ll make myself famous lol

Amount of sleep: 2 to 4 hours during the week. 8 to 12 on weekends

Lucky Number: 3

What I’m wearing: My etsy Bubba earrings, Pennywise tank, kill star leggings, and my rugged old Docs.

Dream Job: I’ve already done my dream job. I guess now I’d like to be a writer.

Dream Trip: a tour of the San Marcos Body Ranch

If you were an animal what would you be? Shark

Favorite food: sushi

What are some of your favorite books/films/shows/games/etc?

Books: IT by Stephen King, Mists of Avalon, Hot Zone, Rabid, The Matchbox that Ate a Forty Ton Truck.

Films: IT 1990/2017, Maggie, Friday the 13th, and all the sequels, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, TCM2, Halloween (and all the sequels and reboots except 3), The Crow, Interview with the Vampire, Deadpool, Deadpool 2, Toxic Avenger

Shows: Castle Rock, Stranger Things, Nature, any documentary

play any instruments: recorder

Describe yourself as aesthetics: slasher loving clownfucking weight lifting androgynous goth

I'm gonna tag @sewer-clown-hype @alllosersdownhere @chopped--top @bigbabysawyer @bunsyo @slasher-piss @pennywisethesexclown @treble-trilltrill @psychocyde @stabbykisses @a-night-2-dismember @hexqueensupreme @suspiciousdoll @billyxloomisxlittlexslut @sabitherunt @darkdaddy-patchy @phobiadrawshorror @kissmebumblebee @horrorcultclassic @a-simple-ghoul @danalia18 @originalclodmakergarden @devils-favoritebabey @dying-in-multi-fandom @floatingwithpenny @wanna-rock-n-roll-in80s @gingersewerboi

Okay that's more than asked for I'm done 😂😂😂

[lotusfartstwice]

Last Line Game

Last Line Tag Rules: Write the latest line from your WIP and tag as many people as there are words in the line. Make a new post, don’t reblog.

Tagged by @spellcasterlight ​

Neji stared at them and Sakura tried to ignore how unsettling it was.

I wish I had a cooler line to share.

I tag: @snickiebear @fineanimesideblog @ossanshipping @thatlittledandere @itscookieoverlordtoyou @valkyriav and anyone else who would like to do it (or not that’s good too)

[spacetimewraithwrites-archive]

OC Interview Tag Game

Guess what time it is???? and guess who I’m blaming now????? lmao it’s @timetravelingpigeon again

Rules: Pick a character from your WIP and have them answer these fifteen questions, then tag fifteen people.

I'm gonna switch it up a bit, if you lay your eyes on this and have the time/energy to do this, you are now morally obligated under the code of human decency to fill this out. it’s fucking anarchy in here now folks

1. What is your full name?

Before we even begin...can I just demand that he be violently thrown out of this interview, please? I don’t even like him. Be sure to kick his ass, throw in a few solid knocks to the face for good measure.

[She points to Guetry, who’s lurking behind the camera. He grins creepily at her.]

Ew. Alright, fine, hi, my full name’s Alectura Wu.

2. What does your full name mean?

I don’t even think my parents know that.

[“It means ‘beautiful Chinese flower.’”]

You mean like how “Guetry” means “farty French surrenderer?”

[Guetry laughs loudly.]

3. What are your nicknames/other names?

Alec. And that’s what you’re gonna call me from now on if you know what’s good for you. You too, Guetry, don’t think I didn’t notice that you called me Alectura in your interview.

4. What’s your gender?

I’m a girl. I think I would’ve preferred the pronoun question but I get where you’re head’s at.

5. What’s your sexuality?

Oh goodness, I like girls a lot. Always have, always will. They’re soft and pretty and also strong and warriors and they can be gross but they’re so hot. God. Girls, G.

[Guetry emits a noise of emphatic agreement.]

6. Where are you from?

Actually I was born here on the Consortium Node.

[“She’s my little Node Baby.”]

Western Division, in the shitty city of Tranquil. Means my parents were wealthy but not wealthy enough to, y’know, not live in Tranquil.

7. How old are you?

I just turned twenty-nine!

[She and Guetry simultaneously clap and throw a complicated but well-practiced hand signal at each other.]

8. What is your magic form/what species are you?

Mm. Think I could get away with being a silhou?

[“If you’re willing to get silver contacts and make your hair a different shade of blonde every two hours, yeah, I think you could do it.”]

Sadly, I’m human.

9. What does your human form look like?

...Can’t you see me?

[“Way to forget about the visually impaired, idiot.”]

Okay, jeez. I’ve got long hair that’s currently pure white with bangs to my eyes, which are brown by the way. I’m Chinese as you probably already know thanks to Guetry, and I’m a little small but also packing some poundage where it counts, naahhmean? Basically, I love food and I’ve got no motivation or real reason to work out so I’m owning it.

...And I wear a lot of white and neon colors.

10. What’s your aesthetic?

Like...a rave, I guess. I love neon and bright stuff. I’m a shut-in but I also adore the whole industrial club scene, like the underground shows in the Southern Division. The raw and real of it all.

11. Who’s your best friend?

I hate that I can’t even get revenge on you by telling them your middle name. You ruin everything, I swear to god!

[Guetry shrugs. “Sucks for you.”]

Jackass.

12. Would you ever get a piercing/tattoo?

I’ve got a couple of tattoos, just tiny ones, and I wouldn’t mind getting more. I don’t really do piercings. I’ve got a phobia of needles, I think.

13. When are you happiest?

Guetry took my answer.

[“Be fucking original, Alec!”]

Stop yelling at me!

[“You started it!”]

Damn right.

If I’m either singing, drumming, or a combination, I’m happy. I also love my day job, I get no better thrill than knowing the life of a starship is in my hands. The engine room is my second home. And I’m a pretty happy person, generally.

14. What’s your biggest secret?

Well, I’m married. Not a lot of people know that because I keep it to myself. Not for any reason, just don’t need to talk about it all the time. Parys and I have been married for about four years now. She makes me happy, too.

[She smiles.]

15. What was your first impression of [Warren]?

He’s a big ol’ bucket of insecure, I could tell that almost instantly when we met. Well, after I got over the sight of two historical figures standing at my front door like they just happened to be in the neighborhood. He’s very nice, really funny. I felt bad for him in a way. I can’t imagine what it’d be like to wake up so far away from my own time.

[“We give him extra loves.”]

Gotta gobble those up with milk. No genuine affection for you, Warren, just overwhelming pity.

[She and Guetry both laugh.]

No, he’s a good guy. A good guy with a good heart. I may have closed him off a few times but I can’t help it, I’m not a very open book. Sorry, Warren! I’m trying!

[dr-gloom]

The Makings of Greatness: Chapter 4

Fandom: Sanders’ Sides

Pairing: platonic logince, platonic moxiety, platonic anxeit, familial ThVi

Tags/Warnings (for this chapter): crazy architecture, lots of aliens, slight conflict, seafaring lingo

Ko-fi

AO3

Masterlist

Prologue  Ch 1  Ch 2  Ch 3  Ch 4  Ch 5  Ch 6  Ch 7  Ch 8  Ch 9  Ch 10  Ch 11  Ch 12  Ch 13  Ch 14  Ch 15  Ch 16  Ch 17

If Virgil thought his home at the Inn provided him a window to the galaxy, the space port was like blowing a giant hole in the wall. It was massive, nearly impossible to navigate. The entire thing existed as a hodge-podge of white buildings and layers of docks, lifts, catwalks and pathways all in the shape of a crescent just on the edge of Montressor’s orbit. From the planet’s surface, it looked like a moon permanently stuck in the crescent phase. The entire port glowed, giving off a faint light - just like a real moon - and ships of all sizes sailed to and fro overhead, either docking or taking off. Aliens from all corners of the galaxy milled through its pathways, the strangest of them all being Virgil, the only human in sight.

Virgil looked around in complete wonder as he got off the transport ship. Fellow passengers passed him by, giving him dirty looks. A heavy-set anthropomorphic frog woman with a small head and a strange furry pet in her arms, a man who almost looked human - if it weren’t for the anteater snout on his face or the leathery, bald skin covering his entire body -  a man wielding some sort of stringed instrument over his shoulder with tendrils for hair, grey flesh, and the nose of an elephant seal all passed him by as they exited the ship. He wasn’t focused on them, though. He was looking at the space port. It was like a sci-fi M.C. Escher artwork; Virgil’s eyes were dazed trying to decipher where one catwalk met another, where that pulley system was anchored, how those people below him reached the top pathways. If he looked closely, he could see the gaps between the structures, and the brief thought of falling into empty space unnoticed brought him back to attention.

He didn’t want to have to explain to his dad that the entire trip got cancelled because Logan wasted his money recovering Virgil from his float through deep space.

“Virgil? Virgil!” Logan called behind him, finally making his way off the ship. While Virgil had elected to bring nothing - what could he bring? His entire home burned down - Logan had brought several bags of varying sizes containing…. God knows what. He’d said, ‘you never know what you might need when traversing uncharted territory into the realm of piracy’. Whatever that meant.

Virgil turned just as Logan got off the ship and had to laugh. Logan was wearing possibly the weirdest get-up he had ever seen in his life, and that’s saying something. He was wearing some sort of space suit; an imposing, bulbous thing in mustard yellow that clanked and shifted with every step, a few buttons resting below the rim of the helmet and a large red… thing on the stomach. Logan pressed a button that released the lock on the glass faceplate, giving Virgil a forced kind smile. “Well, if nothing else, this shall be an… opportunity to get to know each other, I suppose.”

Virgil rolls his eyes. “Look, let’s just find the ship. This place is a fucking maze.” He starts walking, Logan trailing after him silently. Virgil shrugs it off. He’s only being nice to me because of my dad… And because I have the map. He huffs and starts walking faster.

“Second berth on your right.” The robot calls down from the ladder he’s climbing.

“You can’t miss it.” comments the stout, red alien steadying the ladder.

Virgil gives a grateful smile. “Thanks.” He turns to descend the staircase, leaving Logan to catch up. Logan huffs and hurries down the stairs, hesitant to lose Virgil in the crowds.

“It’s the suit, isn’t it?” Virgil doesn’t answer. “I should’ve never listened to that two-headed sailsman. This one said it fit, that one said it was my color… I just get so flustered in those situations, I suppose. I’ve never been good with handling people.” Virgil stops, and Logan nearly runs into him. He stops just short of the teen and looks up. “Ah, yes, here we are. The I.M.G. Nation.”

It was a nice-looking ship, with a smooth cream-colored body and amber trimmings. Large solar sails rose high above them, held aloft by amber-and-gold-plated masts. Virgil climbed the catwalk up to the ship, grinning. “Whoa…”

Pulley systems delivered crates onto the deck, directed by crew and pulled into place before being released from their ropes. All around crew bustled about, maintaining the deck, managing supplies, and following directions to prepare to embark. Virgil stopped short as a crew member bustled by, taking extra precautions to make sure he wasn’t in anyone’s way.

“Stow those casks forward! Heave together, now!” A man called from the base of the main mast. His lean and fit form was made of stone, but not in the sense that his body was a collection of stones pressed together; it was as if his entire body was one large stone with chiseled edges, somehow granted the ability to move and flex and bend. He wore a couple medals pinned to the breast of his blue coat and a tricorn hat atop his head, completed with cream-colored pants and black boots.

Virgil turned in a circle, watching crew members move about the masts and use the ropes. “This is so cool…” He took a couple steps backwards, bumping right into someone. Virgil flinched, spinning around to apologize only to be met with what appeared to be a very angry… blob? Slug?

The blob alien had many… tentacles? Snouts? Along its pale body, holes cut into its vest to allow for them to rest freely. A few more protruded from its face where a mouth and nose would be. “S-sorry, I didn’t-” The alien let out what Virgil could only think of as farting noises from its…. okay, guess those are snouts? And raised its fists as if declaring a fight. Virgil took a step back, eyes widening. Not even on board for five minutes and he’s already gotten in trouble.

Logan walks up behind him. “Excuse me, ah…” Logan blew a few raspberries, filled his mouth with air and pushed his cheeks in to release it, and made a few armpit-fart sounds. The alien stared at him for a moment before letting out the farty equivalent of a laugh and flapping its hand in the universal “oh stop, you!” gesture, slithering away.

Virgil blinked. What just happened?

“I’m fluent in Flatula, Virgil. It is an incredibly complex language that takes years to master. I studied it in high school.” Logan informed the human with a smug grin before continuing to cross the deck.

“Flatula, huh?... Cool.” He grinned and followed after the astrophysicist.

Logan walked up to the stone man, extending his hand. “Good morning, captain. Is everything in order?”

The stone man took his hand with a soft smile. “Indeed, it is! But I’m not the captain. The captain’s aloft.” He gestures up to the masts, Virgil and Logan looking up.

A cat-like man swings from a rope effortlessly, landing along a supporting beam and running across it before grabbing another rope and using the momentum of the swing to jump to the deck, landing on his feet with an elated cry.

He was lithe, of average height, but everything about him was pure muscle and power. His jaw was angular, almost small, and he had a broad nose that ended with a pink, leathery tip and nostrils, much like a real cat. His ears were wide and pointed, set higher on his head than a human’s, his chestnut hair styled perfectly side-swept and voluminous, and he wore a red-and-gold jacket, cream colored pants, and white gloves. He crossed his arms, grinning at the newcomers before making his way over, speaking in a regal tone.

“Mr. Picani! I have checked this ship from stem to stern and-” His tone softens, “it’s spot-on, as usual. Can you get nothing wrong?” He grins at the stone man, his first mate.

Picani tips his hat. “You flatter me, captain!”

The captain moves on to Logan and Virgil, pausing as he takes in Logan’s suit. “Ah… Doctor Abbott, I presume?” He speaks louder, slower, as if he expects Logan to be of a lower intellect. “Excuse y-” The captain knocks on the glass plate, grinning. “Hello~! Can you hear me?” Logan scoffs and pushes the glass plate up from where it had fallen during his walk to the ship. “Yes, I can! Stop that; it’s highly fatuous.” The captain puts a hand to his chin, grinning as he watches Logan struggle to get the helmet off and fail.

“If I may, this suit works better when it’s turned to the right,” he grabs the red thing on the suit’s stomach, turning it to the right. A plug pops out, “and plugged in.” He grabs the plug and forcefully turns Logan around, plugging it into the bag attached to the suit’s back. “There you go! You’re welcome.”

The helmet comes off with a pop and Logan turns to glare at the captain. “I can manage my own equipment; your assistance was not necessary.” The captain takes his hand and shakes it, looking around almost as if he were bored, if it weren’t for the self-satisfied smirk on his lips.

“I’m captain Roman Amamoto, I’ve had a few run-ins with the Protean armada, but ah! I won’t bore you with my scars.” He winks and Logan huffs in annoyance. Roman moves to Mr. Picani, nudging him with his elbow. “You’ve met my first mate, Mr. Picani. Sterling, tough, dependable, honest, brave, and true.”

Mr. Picani laughs lightly. “Please, captain!”

“Oh shut it, Picani, you know I don’t mean a word of it.” From the grins the two share, that must be some inside joke of theirs. Logan clears his throat.

“While I’d hate to interrupt this… lovely banter, may I introduce Virgil Shae?” He wraps an arm around Virgil, drawing him closer to the adults and pulling his attention away from the hustle and bustle of the ship. “Virgil is the one who found the tre-”

Roman clamps a clawed hand over Logan’s mouth. “Doctor, please.” Two nearby crewman who were evidently listening in go back to working. Roman sighs. “I’d like a word.”

The door of the stateroom shuts, and Roman turns the lock, turning to regard the two men standing before his desk. “Doctor… to run your mouth about a treasure map in front of this crew shows a level of simple-mindedness that borders on the imbecilic. And I mean that in a very caring way.” He grins almost mockingly. Virgil has to stifle a laugh. Who knew someone would actually school Logan in something? Who knew there was someone out there who could make Logan look like an idiot?

“Imbecilic? That’s foolish, I’ve-”

“May I see the map, please?”

Logan looks at Virgil. Virgil shrugs helplessly. Logan sighs and gestures to Roman. Virgil grimaces slightly, taking the orb out of his pants pocket and tossing it to Roman. “Here.” Roman catches it effortlessly, turning it over in his claws to inspect it with interest. He grins. “Fascinating.” He levels a serious look at Virgil as he turns to lock the orb in a small chest, hidden in his armoire. “Mr. Shae, in the future you’ll either address me as Captain or Sir, is that clear?”

Virgil scoffs and rolls his eyes. Roman’s ears perk up. “Mr. Shae.”

Virgil ducks his head, glaring. “Yes, sir.”

“Good.” Roman locks the armoire and turns back to the others. “This is going to remain under lock and key unless in use. And, doctor, again.” He leans into Logan’s space, getting in his face. “With the greatest possible respect; zip your howling screamer.” Logan scoffs indignantly.

“Captain, I assure you, I-”

Roman sits at his desk, fiddling with a drafting compass. “Let me make this as simple as possible. I. Don’t much care. For this crew. You hired.” He points the compass at Logan accusingly and Logan crosses his arms, eyebrow raised. “They’re… How did I phrase it, Picani? I said something rather creative before coffee this morning…”

Emile’s eyes drift towards the ceiling as if the memory will surface on the wood. “‘A ludicrous parcel of driveling galoots’, sir.”

Virgil raises an eyebrow. Wow, what?

Roman grins. “There you go! Poetry.”

Logan purses his lips, gripping the table. “Now, see here-!”

Roman stands over Logan, smirking. “Doctor, I’d love to chat - tea, cake, the whole nine - but I’ve got a ship to launch, and you’ve,” He flicks Logan’s suit with a claw, “got an outfit to buff up.” He straightens back up and crosses his arms behind his back, all business once again. “Mr. Picani, please escort these two neophytes to the galley. Mr. Shae will be working for the cook, Mr. Moran.”

Virgil looks up from where he’d been messing with some swinging wall decoration, his hand dropping to his side. “Wait, what? The cook?”

Taglist: @the5thcoy @dailysandersidesaudoodles @hungry-red-panda @neonb-fly @chemically-imbalanced-romance @punsterterry @dead4sevenyears @metaphoricalpluto2 @tanyatoloni1334

[wildsecuritywolf]

Let’s Meme Along w/Sebastian

Tagged by: @tkoexperimentations

Sebastian: “.....Really?”

[Yes really]

1. What is your name?

Sebastian: “Mi nombre es Sebastian Alejandro Wolf, darling, hmm, hmm..”

2. Do you know why you’re named that?

Sebastian: “My parents wanted their son to have a proud first name and a middle name related to my dad’s old man and...that’s it. What? I don’t feel like going into details so deal with what cha got out of it.”

3. Are you single or taken?

Sebastian: “Right now I’m single...but I do plan to get that cute chubby bunny that I love at work..I want to date him so badly, hmm, hmm~”

[This is referring to the canon FNAF AU of mine. Not gonna add in other shippings that are non canon.]

4. Have any abilities or powers?

Sebastian: “Uh no I don’t..”

5. Stop being a Mary Sue.

Sebastian: “Bitch I ain’t no Mary Sue! I’m a man, mother fucker!!”

6. What’s your eye color?

Sebastian: “Both are gold..wanna gaze into my eyes and see? Hmm, hmm~”

7. How about your hair color?

Sebastian: “A luxurious black, darling, hmm, hmm..”

8. Have any family members?

Sebastian: “.........My mom and dad are dead..and I’m glad those assholes are out of my life. I truly hope they’re burning in the fucking deepest pits of hell. They were worthless parents and always will be. ...Though..I do have an uncle. He’s my mom’s big brother...and he wanted to take me away from my parents, since he knew how neglectful they were towards me...said that he and his boyfriend would gladly help raise me. ...Too bad that didn’t happen..but at least now that I got my own place..he and his now pronounced husband come visit me on the weekends...so..at least that’s comforting for me..”

9. Oh? How about pets?

Sebastian: “I own a black and white Husky! He goes by Balto, and boy do I love my big tough man, hmm, hmm~”

10. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like?

Sebastian: “Where do I begin? First of all, I fucking hate eating veggies and Nico is trying to get me to eat them..ugh. Second, I despise the rich assholes with a fiery passion. Third, if some ugly ass chick tries to make a move on my cute chubby boy they’re gonna end up in a grave I’ve made for her, hmph. And last but not least, I FUCKING HATE spiders!”

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?

Sebastian: “I do like to play basketball every now and then, hmm, hmm..”

12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?

Sebastian: “If a chick or a man wants to be a lil’ badass and try to throw a hit on me then I’m definitely gonna knock a bitch out.”

13. Ever… killed anyone before?

Sebastian: “I killed one of my childhood friends by slitting his throat open with a rusty knife. ...What? My so called best friends didn’t like the fact that I was gay and wanted to beat the shit out of me..so I had to make one of them pay for hurting me...and psychologically fuck up the other two by burying the lil’ prick and threaten their lives if they so much as squeal. Cruel ya say? Hey..as a fifteen going on sixteen I’m not the type ya wanna fuck around with, and when I say that I will end your life I fucking stand by it.”

14. What kind of animal are you?

Sebastian: “A big, fluffy wolf of course, hmm, hmm~”

15. Name your worst habits

Sebastian: “Spitting on the payment on my way to the pizzeria and burping when I’m on duty.”

16. Do you look up to anyone?

Sebastian: “...Nicholas...somehow...he was the first guy that actually wanted to help me...felt genuinely sorry for me...he’s like a real father figure to me..and I truly adore him so much....”

[Still relating to the canon FNAF AU of mine]

17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual?

Sebastian: “I’m 100% gay, darling, hmm, hmm..”

18. Do you go to school?

Sebastian: “I stopped going to school when I dropped out of middle school when I was fifteen after my parents were killed...and then I started learning things on the streets or as some would call, School of Hard Knocks, hmm, hmm..though..when I turned eighteen, my uncle and his boyfriend found me and put me into a school where I repeat the eighth grade and then work my way up to the twelfth grade..and I managed to pass them all..”

19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?

Sebastian: “I want to marry Nicholas..he’s the man of my dreams..as for kids...the only kids I’ll gladly have is my darling Balto..he’s my fur baby.”

[Canon FNAF AU related]

20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?

Sebastian: “I do have some fan girls..which that is quite surprising, hmm, hmm..”

21. What are you most afraid of?

Sebastian: “.....Being alone....”

22. What do you usually wear?

Sebastian: “I prefer to wear black stuff since I look bitching in them..I like wearing my favorite black tank top..black camouflage pants..black combat boots...dog tags, black leathered gloves and a black collar.”

23. What’s the one food that tempts you?

Sebastian: “...A meatball sub”

24. Am I annoying to you?

Sebastian: “What the fuck do you think, perra?”

25. Well, it’s still not over!

Sebastian: “Vai a farti fottere...” [Translation: “Go fuck yourself”]

26. What class are you (low/middle/high)?

Sebastian: “I’m middle class..why the fuck do ya wanna know that??”

27. How many friends do you have?

Sebastian: “Three at the moment, one being PG, who I call lil’ purple, hmm, hmm. And the others are Satan, who is currently living with me and Techy.”

28. What are your thoughts on pie?

Sebastian: “I don’t mind eating Shepard’s pie and the only dessert pie I’ll eat is lime key pie..”

29. Favorite drink?

Sebastian: “White Russian, bitch!”

30. What’s your favorite place?

Sebastian: “...Rome, Italy. Only went there one time during a family vacation and my parents reluctantly invited my uncle and his boyfriend to spend the whole month there with us.”

31. Are you interested in anyone?

Sebastian: “Nicholas! I want to be his boyfriend so badly!!”

[Again, canon FNAF AU related]

32. That was a stupid question…

Sebastian: “Then why the fuck do you ask me that, shit for brains? Hmm?”

33. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?

Sebastian: “Lake of course..”

34. What’s your type?

Sebastian: “In what? In a man? I love my men to be cute, sexy looking and isn’t afraid of getting freaky in bed, hmm, hmm~”

35. Any fetishes?

Sebastian: “Blood and Knife play, hmm, hmm~”

36. Camping or outdoors?

Sebastian: “I don’t mind camping...unless someone forgets to bring stuff for s’mores then fuck them. I ain’t going camping..”

Tagging: @darkness-with-humanity, @s-adistic-scars, @forcedfromgrace, @chocokittycat

[bluebloodedsweater]

Six Question Challenge

tagged by @mynameisnorth 🌸🌿

Rules: Answer the questions and then tag nine people you want to get to know better!

Nine people? 😱 Okay 😩

Q1. Relationship status?

Single lady 👏🙌✋

Q2. Favourite colour?

Blue (obviously!), also white, grey, yellow 🤗

Q3. Top 3 ships?

1. WR600 (not Ralph) x AX400 (not Kara)

2. Connor RK800 x Richard RK900

3. Richard RK900 x Chloe ST200

Q4. Lipstick or chapstick?

Chapstick 😚🌸

Q5. Last song I listened to?

Jonas Blue - Fast Car ft. Dakota you should watch this, this is so lovable! 💙

Q6. Last movie I watched?

Ghost, 2015 (6+) by Alexander Voitinsky

Tagging:

1. @misa04

2. @yeahhiyellow

3. @kara-jayne-art

4. @millennium-queen

5. @tin-a-can

6. @gayx400

7. @luminescent-city

8. @detroit-become-human-analyze

9. @emilys-arty-farty-stuff

...and anyone who wants to do this!

Sorry if you already got this challenge.🙃

[deathtownusa]

Cornib Bleau Vine Sentence Starters (feel free to change proper nouns, pronouns, etc. to fit your needs)

“I like to roller skate and...throw up”

“I eat at olive garden every day and I die at olive garden every day.”

“I was born a baby and I’ll die a baby”

“I have a question. What’s the best wedding gift? A chia pet? No.”

“No one knew Steve Jobs like I did. I’m the only who knew that he could suck and fuck like a bad girl.”

“In middle school I tongue wrestled Keith Urban for a churro.”

“It’s so sad all the old people being murdered by God.”

“Got kicked out of church. I farted in an envelope and sent it to God”

“I’m not allowed in my house because my mom says I have stinky knees.”

“I get kicked out of Starbucks every day because I walk in and look at the barista and say good morning coffee bitch.”

 “I don’t have to brush my teeth every day!”

“If Elvis was still alive I’d make him take me to Panera. Make him pay for me.”

“My doctor just found out he has cancer. Guess he’s not a very good doctor.”

“I think Godzilla is a beautiful man. I don’t care that he’s so big. I wanna take him to Red Robin.”

“Just got the news. I’m going to Disney - to Walt Disney...’s grave. To mourn.”

“I eat my teeth for breakfast every day.”

“I just got a girlfriend. Her name’s Titty Pussy.”

“I’m mad! My mom just threw out all my David Spade scented candles.”

“This is my impression of a whale: ‘I’ve been dead for so long.’ It’s a ghost whale.”

“This is my impression of Pitbull: ‘Please help me! I’m so bald!’“

“I pooped during my school picture.”

“Can dinosaurs get periods?”

“I got blacklisted from Dave and Busters ‘cause I molested myself in laser tag.”

“I had a panic attack at the Apple store.”

“I’ll give you a jalapeno so spicy the mushroom will pop off your dick and run circles around you.”

“Please download my new app it’s called ‘Mom’. It raises you from birth.”

“Always remember to achieve your dreams...by 7 p.m. Thanks.”

“Look at my little feet! But please stop asking to see my legs. My legs are for family only.”

“I’m in a committed relationship with a ghost. His name’s Brad. We met at Panera.”

“I have a request for a show. I want to see the episode where Drake milks Josh.”

“My sister just had a baby boy. She let me name it. I named it Fuck Truck Lesbian.”

“I’m mad! I just got kicked out of Men’s Warehouse because I peed in my own shoes.”

“What’s a guy gotta do to get his cock hobbled and gobbled by a bus full of church elves?”

“Do not text message Garfield the cat! He’s racist as shit!”

“Please download my new app it’s called ‘Rachel. Please come home your parents are worried.’“

“I just found out I have heart worm.”

“I came up with a riddle: Jack and Jill went up the hill and fucked and fucked and fucked and fucked.”

“I’m looking for a thick girl wearing Heelys to come over and sneeze in my mouth.”

“Knock knock. Who’s there? No one, it’s just a joke. It’s just a joke!”

“I hate Taylor Swift ‘cause she stays out too late! Stays out too late.”

“I hope you fall down a flight of steps and bust your reptile face Adrian Brody, you fucking iguana!”

“I’m lookin’ for a busty old bitch to slap me around. Make me snort like a hog.”

“What’s a guy gotta do to get his cock hobbled and gobbled by a trolley bus full of church elves? Huh?”

“Always remember it’s better to have loved and lost than to have accidentally outed your gay nephew on Reddit.”

“I said I can’t come to your party, Alan ‘cause my sister’s a goat and I have to milk her every single minute.”

“I have a riddle: What’s red?...Blood.”

“I’m looking for a cool dog who can buy me alcohol.”

“My neighbor Casey died. I’m throwing a dance party in his house. No cops!”

“This is my impression of God. ‘Ooh your son made varsity? My son died - for everyone.’“

“How come there’s always a bird in Home Depot?”

“I have a riddle: How do you get pennies out of your stomach? Well, it’s not a riddle - I need advice. How do you get pennies out of your stomach?”

“People are telling me I’m never gonna find true love, but guess what? I’ve been fuckin’ Shrek! So I don’t wanna hear it!”

“Please strangle me on a sailboat.”

“I got kicked out of a restaurant. They said it was because I elbowed a baby, but I just think they’re sick and tired of me and my farty ass.”

“This is my impression of John Stamos: ‘Watch the - watch my hair, please.’“

“I’m lookin’ for a new baby sitter and not some lame ass Safety Town fucker. I’m talkin’ someone who’s not afraid to jerk my dick on a Segway without a helmet.

“Guess what? My best friend’s a judge and guess what? He just invited me to jail.”

“Please hire me to do tricks. I’ll make you money. I’m working on a trick called cock splash!”

“Serious inquiries only: I’m lookin’ for an abandoned barn where I can find a musty busty bitch to slobber and gaggle over my pork knob.”

“This is urgent! Please donate to my Go Fund Me. I’m trying to get Ryan Seacrest to swallow his own load.”

“True Life: I’m allergic to my own goddamned dick.”

“True Life: I have 10 sons and they all smell like sex.”

“Hello! ‘Bout to watch American Idol. Please no spoilers! I’m only on season 2. Thanks.”

“Uh, bad day! Not one person on the bus highfived me for catching my throw up in my hand.”

“If I was your man I’d lay spread eagle on your hover board waiting for you to get home so I can pop, lock, and cock ya.”