#feed the machine is a great song go listen to it.

[otiksimr]

𝐇𝐄𝐘. 𝐘𝐎𝐔. 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐄

[click image for better quality]

Guess who found out CSP can do timelapses >:)

[lyxthen]

I think that one of the things that keep me on the fence about fully rejecting AI is, oddly enough, Nyan Cat. The composer of the song, DaniwellP (a producer who also made other songs like Wonder of Wonder, which is GREAT and WHOLESOME and you should listen to it), has a page in their website that allows you to feed a short text prompt to an AI trained on their music. It is a lovely page run by the artist themself that gives you a silly little tune.

And... That's it. There are no investors to please, no startup fever dreams of a world run by AI, no taking art from others without consent. Just someone going, "Hey, you know what would be fun?" and then doing it. For the joy of it. It is ethical AI in action.

I feel like the reason so many people opose AI art is not because they think it is inherently bad, but because of the devastating effects it could have on industry and the media in a world as unstable as ours. Where we are disconnected from our fellow humans beings. But using this site, I felt more connected to DaniwellP, odd as that sounds. Because this is their project, this "automatic composer" is itself a piece of art to engage with, made by someone passionate about their craft. Isn't that amazing? Isn't that a gift to the world?

The art, in this case, is not only the tunes the machine makes, but the machine itself. Because the machine is what we the audience interact with. And then we can take the resulting composition home, download it as a souvenir. It's a new way to interact with the work of an artist, NOT a tool to replicate and sell it without effort or credit. It was made because it's fun.

Personally, I think this is beautiful.

[bosquedemel]

i listened to the anthology tracks and yep these are overall better than the standard album. somehow not surprising.

"peter" really surprised me cause it's a lovely, simple song and it shows what she can do. that is, that she could be writing good songs in her own corner instead of constantly talking about her real life scandals in the most overt way possible. cause there's no subtlety, no "this inspired me", it's more like "here's everything i think about this with names and dates and everything". and that's what holds her back as an artist, namely one who can create earnest, timeless songs and reach many people; she can't do that if her songs are just gossip articles about her own life in music form. that stereogum review was right on the money when it said that the Lore is starting to overwhelm the music and also that it's self-made (to feed the stans, the obsession, the money-making machine).

i always wonder why she doesn't just stop. like take a break, don't bring up the same things over and over, you can be free taylor and release yourself from the hell of fame. but at the same time i think she can't because it's all she knows and by now it's like her identity (so what else would she write about?). that's why i think she feels so "threatened" by younger artists, cause it's like someone is stealing her life. but this is why people have less and less sympathy for her: cause on one hand it's understandable fame is terrible and would do this to her but on the other it's something so obviously maintained and craved by her? she always has the upper hand, she has won everything, she is at the top, why keep doing this dance of woe is me? but these are just my layman's thoughts

last night i read tavi gevinson's essays on taylor and it was fascinating because gevinson was also famous at a young age - and knows fame from the inside unlike me - and knew taylor personally.

2 things stood out to me: the part where gevinson mentions that parasocial relationships go both ways in that famous people also become attached to their fans and begin to forget that those fans are not their friends but just a mass of consumers of their art, while the haters crystallise into a real, very serious entity you feel you can fight and win over.

second, when gevinson recalls a late night hours-long conversation with swift in which the spell was broken when gevinson suddenly mentioned how much she liked and related to "wildest dreams". and it's because in that moment they went from 2 friends talking to The Artist and The Fan. taylor went from a person to a celebrity. the closeness immediately turned into a great distance. and this made me wonder really how Taylor can never forget she's a celebrity, that there's always a perpetual audience around her, which again just makes me realize Fame is Hell

and gevinson kinda says and appeals to taylor the same as i did above. to let go and recognize the reality of her situation. anyway i wonder if taylor has read the essays

[plague-doctor-on-tumbler]

What I recommend music wise depends on what you're looking for, I listen to a little bit of everything including things many don't consider good. This is gonna be rushed because I'm tired.

The Mechanisms are a band I've been enjoying recently, it's very narrative though and best listened to in order. It's about immortal space pirates and rebellion and stuff. very cool.

Starting your villain arc? May I recommend Shayfer James, and his album Counterfeit Arcade? Also Will Wood/Will Wood and The Tapeworms

I personally like System of a Down, Linkin Park and Deftones, they are Metal/Numetal.

Some trad goth artists I like are The Cure and Souxsie and The Banshees

I also really like synthwave covers of the Bloodborne soundtrack on YouTube, and synthwave in general really

Not all Country sucks, just most of it, especially after 911. Folk and Gothic Country are great. Poor Mans Poison, Johnny Cash, First Aid Kit and The Crane Wives are bands/artists I enjoy.

They aren't for everyone but I thought I'd throw them out there just because, I'll probably remember more tomorrow. What I listen to mainly depends on vibes so often times it's just specific songs rather than artists/bands or defined genres.

Need a playlist to cry too? I Bet on Losing Dogs by Mitski, No Surprises by Radiohead, Euthanasia by Will Wood, etc.

Disturbed made a cover of the Sound of Silence, and it's beyond awesome.

Thanks for the list, I shall listen to them and not my thoughts down.

The Mechanisms, "ooh pirate metal, that's going in the sea shanty playlist"

Counterfeit Arcade by Shayfer James, a bit slow for my taste but pretty good nonetheless.

Will Wood, this is more my taste.

Will Wood and the Tapeworms, same as before, musics pretty catchy. (this is about Hand Me My Shovel, I'm Going In!) 2012 REFRENCE!!!!!! GOING STRAIGHT INTO MY PLAYLIST WHERE THE ONLY CRITERIA IS THE SONG NEEDS TO REFRENCE 2012 IN A NOSTALGIC SENSE (it's more common then you think)

System Of A Down, think I've listened to them before, or at least a band that sounded similar.

I already listen to Linkin Park

Deftones, reminds me of Weezer for some reason.

The Cure, already listened to them before, they're one of my friends favorite bands.

Siouxsie and The Banshees, dosent make me feel anything, no likes, no dislikes.

Yeah most synthwave covers of videogame music/voice lines sound pretty good, personal favorite is dagothwave.

Poor Man's Poison is already a band I listen to quite often, favorite song is Feed The Machine.

Johnny Cash, reminds me of the music I used to listen to when I was 10ish, so that's okay by me, might not listen to it as much but still makes me a bit nostalgic.

First Aid Kit, definitely sounds like my type of music reminds me of Young Rising Sons a bit.

The Crane Wives, wonder where the name came from, anyway a bit slow but reminds me a lot of Five For Fighting which is an artist I like so that's a good sign.

I Bet on Losing Dogs by Mitski, too slow for my tastes, still kinda relaxing though.

No Surprises by Radiohead, too much radio not enough head 😔, never liked radiohead that much, pretty calming though liked the background music a lot.

Euthanasia by Will Wood, really similar to a lot of songs I like so I kept expecting a louder and quicker paced chorus but sadly it never came, pretty sad lyrics wonder what's the context.

Sound Of Silence, did this song for 8th grade choir, so I've heard both this version and the original, I perfer the original but this ones pretty good too.

So that's it. If any of my other mutuals want to suggest songs go right ahead

[madewithspice]

Hi Kiki and Markie! :) Hope you are doing well. Can I get a Haikyuu and BNHA matchup? 

Name: Em

Sexuality: pansexual

Likes: true crime podcasts, anime, listening to music, painting, reading, and cats

Dislikes: wet socks, cottage cheese, bugs especially centipedes, aggressive people and loud noises

MBTI: infj

I’m 5’7 plus sized Queen who loves playing games and is a big kid at heart.

Thank you for your time and energy! ^//^ <3

Hi we’re doing good, how are you?

Of course. For Haikyuu I match you with Kuroo Tetsuro

Who better than a nerdy giant for you. Kuroo is open to try anything if you ask him to, even if it’s listening to gruesome murders. You want to solve a cold case game with him, well he’s already in his trench coat paired with a fedora in hand. He’ll even put on the outfit just to listen to match the ambiance created by the true crime podcasts you’re listening to.

Kuroo is canonically a dog person but you convince him cats are just as awesome. You guys take in a stray cat that Kuroo had been secretly feeding for ages after it follows him home one day and Kuroo falls hard for the scrawny kitten.

Dating Kuroo is great but what seals the deal is the fact he is a great bug deterrent. He will tackle the creepy crawlies that is until he starts chasing you with them, then you have one more annoying bug to deal with.

For BNHA I match you with Ms. Joke

Ms Joke is definitely a big kid at heart too so the two of you can easily get along without any awkwardness. But that also means you’re now on her list of people to prank and she takes her pranks very seriously so beware.

One of your dates is plugging in the Karaoke machine and acting out cringey pop songs. Ms Joke has a lot of witty banter and is quick to jump onto any jokey behaviour between the two of you. She knows how to keep conversations going and days are never boring with her.

Your relationship would be filled with friendly fire and lots of teasing, it’s almost a competition now to see who will give in first which leads to all sorts of other competitions and races until chaos is achieved.

Enjoy - Kiki.

[cyclone-rachel]

Tomorrowverse Karadox playlist analysis, part 2

Blame it On My Heart (Karmin):

Trust I wanted to tell you

No, I never meant for you to be hurt

Tongue-tied-up my escape plan

Now I got a million bridges to burn

Here comes the ache, too much to take

You got to let it go (let it go)

Give me a break, it's my mistake

Darling, I should've known

I couldn't help it, sorry I'm selfish

But blame it on my heart

Blame it on the beating

No alibi, I had to try, baby

Blame it on my heart

Blame it on the beating

All the things I said

Cross them out in red, honey

Blame it on my heart

Blame it on the feeling

Don't make it worse

I can't reverse it so

Blame it on my heart

Blame it on my beating heart

One of my favorite songs from the past few years, and I think it’s for sure the middle part of the movie where Brainy is blamed for what he didn’t do, and it definitely reminds me of when he confesses to Kara that his plan wasn’t logical but he still wanted to prove that he wasn’t his family. It doesn’t really fit the serious tone of that scene, but it’s a bop and I still like listening to it.

Checkmate- Conan Gray

'Cause I've gotten tired of the games that you play

When you tell me you love me then you throw me away

So cry me a river till you drown in the lake

'Cause you may think you're winning but checkmate

Yeah you may think you're winning but checkmate

I think I discovered this one on a playlist for another rivals-to-lovers pairing, and again the lyrics aren’t quite accurate, but the vibe fits, and the chess motif fits for Brainy.

Will They or Won’t They?- Misbehavin’ Maidens

In these stories we want to know

Will they or won’t they?

But with us, I know the answer: We won’t

Another song where not all the lyrics fit, and because it references several other couples, I don’t get all the references, but the vibes are there, and I just like finding enemies/rivals to lovers songs, I think they’re fun.

Mechanical Planet- VERIDIA

The truth is

I'll work day and night

To keep the gears grinding in your mind

To keep you from knowing you are worth more than gold

Not some assembly-line, rusted shell of a person that I try to remote-control

I never want you to believe

That when you're down on your knees

That someone is actually listening

If you are undistracted for even a moment

I'll lose my hold

And you would notice that you have never been alone

Never have you ever fought alone

Never have you ever fought alone

On this mechanical planet

You were made for perfection

Not created defective

On this mechanical planet

You were not meant to be

Just some broken machine

On this mechanical planet

I love this song! I love Veridia! I think they’re really neat! I have loved this song since I was in college, it’s great, it fits Brainy and his family almost perfectly, bye. I know they’re not quite robots here, but I still appreciate this a lot.

Feed the Machine- Poor Man’s Poison

I said hey (hey), you (you), poison the well

Watch it all burn, take 'em straight to hell

He's got the whole (whole), world (world) in his hands

It was nice to know ya, we've all been damned

C'mon (c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon)

We've all been damned, c'mon

I said hey (hey), you (you), feed the machine

Bring them all back down to their knees

Yeah so this is another song that I associate with Brainy’s family/the Dark Circle, it’s a song that I’ve only found recently so I haven’t gotten to really get into the lyrics, but it definitely reminds me of them generally, and the last part of the movie where it looks like they’ve won.

Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene- Hozier

I watch the work of my kin bold and boyful

Toying somewhere between love and abuse

Calling to join them the wretched and joyful

Shaking the wings of their terrible youths

Freshly disowned in some frozen devotion

No more alone or myself could I be

Lurched like a stray to the arms that were open

No shortage of sordid, no protest from me

With her sweetened breath, and her tongue so mean

She's the angel of small death and the codeine scene

With her straw-blonde hair, her arms hard and lean

She's the angel of small death and the codeine scene

So this one I’ve known about for a while but not actually listened to, I think someone from another fandom I’m in used it as a title for a fanfic, but I mean. It’s Brainy and Kara, right? Brainy’s point of view, and his perspective of Kara. Another song I recently started listening to and love a lot, and then realized how perfect it is for this version of these two.

Hold Each Other- A Great Big World, Futuristic

Everything looks different now

All this time my head was down

He came along and showed me how to let go

I can't remember where I'm from

All I know is who I've become

That our love has just begun like ohhh

Something happens when I hold him

He keeps my heart from getting broken

When the days get short and the nights get a little bit frozen

We hold each other

I just think this is a good romantic song in general, and I have used it as a song in my other Karadox playlist/used it as the source of a fanfic title for them. But looking at the lyrics again, it does really fit these versions of Kara and Brainy, and I should listen to it again.

Your Kind of Beautiful- Sophie Park

You see a lion and a sailboat in the sky

All I see is little clouds passing me by

You pick a dandelion and you make a wish

All I see is stubborn weeds growing in the ditch

And if I could be I would be be the way you be

And if I could see I would see see the way you see

Your kind of beautiful is beautiful to me

Your kind of beautiful is beautiful to me

Suddenly a symphony is playing in my head

Now I want to see the world the way you do instead

Like a silver lining, pretty picture, coin of you

I like the way you make me feel

the way I feel with you

Again, just a sweet song and one that I have on the other Karadox playlist, and it reminds me of when Brainy is healing Kara and telling her that he wishes he could be like her, and about how she’s so strong and brave and beautiful and whatnot. And I also think this fits from Kara’s point of view, with her seeing the good in Brainy and appreciating that he is also beautiful in his own way.

Cloud 9- Beach Bunny

When I start to tumble from the sky

You remind me how to fly

Lately, I've been feeling un-alive

But you bring me back to life

But when he loves me, I feel like I'm floating

When he calls me pretty, I feel like somebody

Even when we fade eventually to nothing

You will always be my favorite form of loving

Not a lot of lyrics in this one, but I think it’s from Kara’s perspective, contrasting how she feels at the beginning of the movie with her relationship with Brainy afterwards (and bonus “fade eventually to nothing”- nod at Crisis, even though that will never happen in the Tomorrowverse probably)

Life is Strange- MARINA

Don't know what I'm doing with my life

But maybe there's no wrong or right

'Cause everybody feels the same

And all we know is life is strange (Ah)

All we know is life is strange (Ah)

All we know is life is strange

We're in the future, living fast

Can never make a moment last

Is it ever gonna be enough

To love another and be loved?

Because I had to put a Marina song on here somewhere, and I just think this fits Kara’s perspective again, with her going from escaping Krypton to not fitting in on Earth to ultimately finding a place where she belongs in the future.

Bloodline- Natalie Jane

Try to escape it, I try to erase it

But you make me feel so alive

I'm sick and tired of tryina conspire

A way to outrun my bloodline

You ran into a battlefield I tried to disguise

Dodging bullets stepping on mines

All the ones before me have committed this crime

I gave a warning so many times

I mean, it’s such a Brainy song, isn’t it? It really doesn’t need an explanation, it just works for especially this version of Brainy with his relatives being so prominent in this movie and being the big reason that nobody trusts him.

Sparks Fly- Taylor Swift

My mind forgets to remind me

You're a bad idea

You touch me once and it's really something

You find I'm even better than you imagined I would be

I'm on my guard for the rest of the world

But with you I know it's no good

And I could wait patiently but I really wish you would

Drop everything now

Meet me in the pouring rain

Kiss me on the sidewalk

Take away the pain

'Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile

Get me with those green eyes, baby, as the lights go down

Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around

'Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile

…I think this is a genuinely sweet and romantic song and I loved it when I was a teenager. And I like thinking about it in relation to Kara and Brainy, even though there’s a later lyric that includes “run my fingers through your hair” and that doesn’t really work here for obvious reasons. Although, Brainy could always run his fingers through Kara’s hair, that would be cute.

Intoxicated- The Cab

In a room full of frozen faces

In a moment of fractured time

We eclipse in a conversation

As your words, they pass us by

With you, we could be the only ones here

'Cause I think you're from another world

And I, I couldn't love another girl

'Cause you, you make me feel

Like I'm intoxicated, -toxicated

To the sky, flying high

Take me to the moon

Day or night, we don't have to say a word

'Cause you make me feel

Like I'm intoxicated, -toxicated

Another suggestion from Brandi, again this makes me think of the Miracle Machine situation and Kara and Brainy literally being frozen in time as they stop the machine, and Brainy just generally falling for Kara and being head over heels in love with her (also obviously Kara literally being from another world)

Dark Side- Kelly Clarkson

There's a place that I know

It's not pretty there and few have ever gone

If I show it to you now

Will it make you run away?

Or will you stay? Even if it hurts

Even if I try to push you out, will you return?

And remind me who I really am

Please remind me who I really am

Everybody's got a dark side

Do you love me? Can you love mine?

Nobody's a picture perfect

But we're worth it

You know that we're worth it

Will you love me?

Even with my dark side?

Like a diamond from black dust

It's hard to know what can become if you give up

So don't give up on me

Please remind me who I really am

Another pitch-perfect Brainy song in any universe, and another song I’ve loved since I first heard it. For this movie, I think it works best with the scene where Kara and Brainy talk while Brainy is imprisoned, and Kara indeed doesn’t give up on him, treating him like a hero and telling him that she believes him.

[unnamedrat]

My reactions and thoughts on @stargirl1331 playlist!

This took so long, I'm so sorry, but I really wanted to review every single song there. My favorites are in bold but like, all of them are so so great.

where did the sun go? by Lor: Such a cool song, wish it was longer <3

Rule #4 - Fish in a Birdcage by Fish in a Birdcage: Ohhhh I love the cover, so pretty. The lyrics are so good: “With his beak he tries to soothe me/He makes me feel that I belong”, such a cool cool metaphor. The instrumental is so jahfkajskajd.

Welcome Home by Radical Face: It sounds so pretty, the lyrics are so warm(? I can only describe them as warm, I'm not really good at describing feelings, lmao.

Breezeblocks by alt-J: I used to listen to this song a lot in 2020!! It's so nostalgic. It might be that my english kinda sucked back then so I didn't fully understand them but I don't remember the lyrics being this good!?? Hello?? Also, the last minute of the song? ABSOLUTE BANGER- PLEASE DON'T GOOOO I'LL EAT YOU WHOLE I LOVE YOU SOOOOO.

Choice by Jack Stauber's Micropop: JACK!!!! I love this man, he's so artsy. His music videos are so akkskakdkq.

The Hand That Feeds by The Crane Wives: I love the title of this one, it's the same as one of Nine Inch Nails songs (they're nothing alike, just the title). Cool guitar. Pretty voice. Ok, this one is so so cool. The lyrics. THE VOICE. THE LYRICS!!!! “He taught me that the hand that feeds/Deserves to be bitten when it beats” AAAAAAAAAAAA Directly to my liked songs.

It's Alright by Mother Mother: Hey, my sister likes this song!! I love the lyrics :)

Vagabond by MisterWives: A pretty cover!!!! She has such a cool voice. I like it, it has a very cheerful tone but the lyrics are so deep and I love them.

Choke by IDK HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME: Another song I know!! I really like it. The lyrics, the beat, the vibes, everything.

It's Okay (To Punch Nazis) by Cheap Perfume: Say it louder for the people in the back!

Always Forever by Cults: This one's so nice to the ear. It reminds me in a way of Mars Argo music: not so healthy lyrics and cute sounding melodies and voices.

notre dame by Paris Paloma: The art on the cover is so pretty and nice, I love it. It sounds so soft, kinda comforting, and the lyrics are amazing and beautiful and amazing. It gives Claudine Frollo vibes.

Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths: A 7-minute song!!! I love long songs!! The lyrics are so beautiful and sad, yet so important. The french lyrics with the violin in the background parts sound so good, no idea what the man's saying tho.

Tip Toes by half•alive: THIS SONG IS SO GOOD!?!? I LOVE IT

Burning Pile by Mother Mother: One of my sister's favorites, they're a really cool band and have great instrumentals and build ups!!

Never Love an Anchor by The CraneWives: COYOTE STORIES!!! A SHIP LOVING AN ANCHOR!!!! HER CLUMSY HANDS!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Alien Blues by Vundabar: Another of my 2020 favorites! I truly don't know why I stopped listening to it because it's great “My teeth are yellow, hello world/Would you like me a little better if they were white like yours?” AAAAAAAAAA such a good song

Which Witch by Florence + The Machine: I love the way this woman sings!! Such a powerful voice and a great beat too! I think my sister likes her? I've definitely seen her in one or two of her playlists. I'm sending her this playlist because I feel like she would like it.

Inheritance by The Last Bison: Cool instrumental!! Don't have much to say about it, my strength is lyrics, but it sounds amazing!

still feel. by half•alive: This song feels familiar?? Don't think I've ever listened to it, tho?? Love the beat, great vibe and just really danceable.

the fruits by Paris Paloma: RELIGIOUS IMAGERY!!!! THE ORIGINAL SIN!!!! THE WASHING FEET REFERENCE!!! THEY EAT HER BODY LIKE THEY EAT JESUS'S!!! AAAAAA THIS ONE IS SO AWESOME!!!

Little Dark Age by MGMT: I already knew this one, I love it. It is so akjdlakfkskd.

Burn Your Village by Kiki Rockwell: IT IS SO GOOD!!?!? Same vibes as some of The Buttress songs. I'm. In. Love.

Abbey by Mitski: Best song of the century.

Dirty Paws by Of Monsters and Men: QKSJJQEJQJDKQKKE THE LYRICS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Home by Dotan: I love the drums. THE BUILD UP!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA It sounds so good. The chorus is so jandladjkaakska.

Dante's Inferno by Whirlybird: Is this my favorite because it uses my name? Maybe... Is it still a good song? Absolutely. Also “the boy who's married to the fire” kakdjajdjakd.

Sunlight by Hozier: “I had been lost to you, sunlight/And flew like a moth to you, sunlight/Oh, your love is sunlight” “A soul that's born in cold and rain/Knows sunlight” AAAAAAAAAAAAA LOVE IS SUNLIGHT!!! LOVE IS SUNLIGHT!! I swear I'm normal about this, not weird at all, a normal human being normal :)

Fourth of July by Valleyheart: A cover of one of my favorite Sufjan Stevens songs!!! It sounds amazing, definitely not as sad as the original (I don't think anything can be as sad as that song) but it's still really REALLY painful. Love the drums.

Apricots by Findlay: Her voice and the instrumental are so lakdkajskaksma. It has a spooky vibe in it, kinda like something that a character in The Nightmare Before Christmas would sing.

Gasoline by Halsey: *2017 flashbacks* Such a cool fucking song. God, I haven't heard this in so long.

Indian Moon by State Radio and Chadwick Stokes: He has such a pretty voice, it's so calm and the lyrics so sweet.

Millie, Warm the Kittle - Dorm Demo by Rabbitology: I love the artist name, so silly :) Oh, the song is so- wow, the instrumental is great, dude. The layers here are sooooo.

Something About You by Eyedress and Dent May: she looks just like a dreamm, the prettiest girl I've ever seeeeen, from the cover of a magazineeeee. A cute song.

Violet by Wild Party: It sounds like a series intro (that's a good thing). The lyrics are so nice, flowers :)

Fall by half•alive: I feel like I'm sounding repetitive at this point but I love the lyrics!!! The instrumental is great!!!!! I just love all to songs in this playlist <3333

Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears: 80s song!!! I love this one. Y'know when you're nostalgic about stuff you never experienced? That's me with the 80s and 90s, this song externalizes that feeling for me.

Foxcry - Dorm Demo by Rabbitology: I'm loving the way this woman produces her song, they are so aksknadnjandna. THE LYRICS!!!!!!! My GOD.

Devil Town by Cavetown: My sister LOVES this song, it's so awesome. The lyrics <3

Saint Bernard by Lincoln: This gives midwest emo but there's no instrumentals and it isn't loud so it feels so odd. Ok, this one hits close to home. Well, at least I didn't went to a catholic school. Saint Bernard as both the dog and the saint it's quite funny.

Ticking by TIN: This remained me of the animation memes, lmao. WAIT- THERE'S WHERE I REMEMBER THE STILL FEEL SONG FROM- ANIMATION MEMES.

Dear Arkansas Daugther by Lady Lamb: The lyrics are my favorite ever <3

Hungry by Dotan: Got distracted, didn't pay attention to the lyrics but it was so calm and nice :)

Cryptid (Mothman) by Ratwyfe: Hehe, rat name :) I kinda relate, I don't hate my body I just don't wanna be human. Idk why, maybe is my alter-human fascination maybe it's my reality disconnection, who knows.

Tongues and Teeth by The Crane Wives: I love the lyrics! They remind me of Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart by Mitski but I think it's because everything is a Mitski reference to me.

Washing Machine Heart by Mitski: Speaking of Mitski. I love this one, it has such cool metaphors and the music video is so AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Love her :)

CANDLEBURN - Dorm Demo by Rabbitology: I already know I'm about to listen to the craziest song ever. I'm serious, this woman's production is INSANE. Yep, I was right. “They'll put an apple in your hand, but don't you dare bite it/A match and wick but don't you dare light it” OQJIQJDKWNFKN

Second Child, Restless Child by The Oh Hellos: THE PARABLE OF THE PRODIGAL SON AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Don't you just love it when religious bands make songs about religion? So crazy.

Cocaine Jesus by Rainbow Kitten Surprise: I love their voices and how they match so well with each other. This song weirdly reminds me of The Front Bottoms. The religion-love-faith thing happening here is soooooo, he stopped believing in God=he stopped believing in their love and stopped having faith in things getting better between each other.

Inkpot Gods by The Amazing Devil: This one is so personal to me. It's a beautiful song but I'm kinda sad now.

Willow Tree March by The Paper Kites: Such a pretty and calm song.

yeti by Paris Paloma and Old Sea Brigade: I left this one to the end because it's the last one you added :) Ok, so this is a sad song. The lyrics are so beautiful but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

[searidings]

hi, i just love you and your writing

can i suggest something - you are in love (taylor swift) and supercorp

i cannot listen to that song without going yeah, that's them

(also on ao3 if you prefer)

Five years from now, Kara is going to reach across the table at Noonan's and take her hand. She's going to look deep into Lena's eyes, biting her lip as her thumb rubs gentle circles into Lena's palm, and her voice will barely rise above a whisper when she asks, “When did you know?”

And when she does, five years from now, Lena will think back to this moment.

This moment, which is as close as Lena's come to happiness since she'd woken up ziptied to a chair in her brother's office. This moment which, despite the fuzzy feeling of her unbrushed teeth and the pungent aroma of burnt toast filling the air, is perfect.

Kara, bed-warm and sleep-heavy, is gazing beseechingly down at the charred remains of a slice of a bread as though if she only pouts hard enough, its edges will un-blacken and its corners will stop smoking.

“I'm so sorry,” she says as Lena rounds the screen separating Kara's bedroom from the rest of the apartment and perches herself on a barstool, tugging her borrowed sleep shorts a little lower down her thighs.

Kara's tone is mournful, her face so forlorn she looks to be one deep breath away from tears. “I wanted breakfast to be perfect, since it's your first time staying over and if it's terrible you might not want to stay again and I, I really want you to stay again, but I don't know why you would since you probably have a private chef waiting for you at home and I can’t even manage toast—”

“Kara,” Lena interrupts, biting at the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing as Kara's bottom lip trembles. “It's fine, really. I once set fire to my dorm kitchen trying to boil an egg. And besides,” she winks as blue eyes meet hers. “I like to give my personal chef the weekends off.”

Kara huffs out a relieved chuckle, her face brightening. “Oh, well, in that case,” she grins, a sparkle returning to her eyes. “I'd better feed you up before you go home. Never let it be said that I don't look after you.”

Lena can't help the smile that pulls at her as the warm bright feeling in her chest grows and grows. She tugs the sleeves of Kara's sweatshirt over her hands, fighting the urge to fidget as the blonde orders a frankly obscene amount of food from the brunch place on the corner.

She feels exposed like this, face bare and hair sleep-mussed, unshowered with unbrushed teeth, huddled inside borrowed clothes after the impromptu invitation to stay over when last night's movie marathon ran late. It's a far cry from the regimented composure she fights so hard every day to project, and something in her chest twists anxiously.

Kara is a reporter, after all, and National City really doesn't need any more reasons to hate Lena right now. The darkest corner of her mind – the one which has been waiting for the other shoe to drop, for everything to come crashing down ever since the whirlwind of Kara's too-good-to-be-true friendship had come blazing into her life – still worries that this may all be an elaborate ruse. A trap, a way to get close to her in order to assess her weaknesses, to bring her down with an inside scoop.

But in their six months of friendship, Kara's never given her any reason to believe she has any kind of ulterior motive. And despite the suspicions and anxieties hammered into her by a lifetime of hurt, Lena knows now that even if this is a trap, she'll take the bait willingly. Especially if it means Kara will keep looking at her like there might just be something in Lena that's worth her time.

"Hey,” the blonde says gently, leaning back against the counter opposite and pinning Lena with a searching look. “You okay? You kind of zoned out on me there.”

Lena jumps, blinking back into herself with a start. “Yes, sorry. I was miles away.”

The blonde only smiles, flicking on the coffee machine at her elbow. “You sleep okay?”

“Very well, thank you,” Lena answers, fighting to lessen the formality of her tone, to soften the edges her harsh childhood had sharpened into a fortress to keep the world at bay. “Your bed is surprisingly comfortable. I had a great night's sleep.”

"Perhaps the company had something to do with it,” Kara winks as she turns to pull two mugs down from the hooks at her shoulder. Lena thinks back to the smell of Kara's sheets and the soft pulls of her breathing, to the warmth of Kara's ankle against her calf and the strong fingers that had wrapped themselves in the sleeve of Lena's sweatshirt in sleep, anchoring them together. She blushes.

Kara only smirks, pouring their drinks and grabbing the milk from the fridge. “Well, the food's all ordered, it should be here soon,” she says over her shoulder, the waterfall of her golden ponytail mesmerising in the bright rays of morning light filtering in through the vaulted windows. “And you don't need to head off in a hurry, unless you have plans—?”

She glances back at Lena, who shakes her head. “Great!” she grins. “’Cause I was thinking, maybe we could check out the botanical gardens, since it's such a nice day? Oh, and there's a new bakery right across the street that I've been dying to try—”

Lena listens to the blonde's excited rambling with an endeared smile plastered to her face, feeling happy and warm and wanted with every fibre of her being. The feeling is new but so welcome she could cry, and Lena wonders – not for the first time – how she ever got so lucky.

Kara's presence in her life is like sugar in her coffee; meant only to sweeten that which has always been bitter.

Lena's always taken her coffee black. Softening the blow was never much her style.

But here, now, perched at Kara's breakfast bar with her hands wrapped around a steaming mug the blonde has brewed to perfection, sunlight streaming in and highlighting the angles and planes of Kara's face, the way she’s smiling at Lena like there's nowhere else in the world she'd rather be, she realises her reasoning is twofold.

Sugar isn't just appetising. It's addictive. And now that Lena's had a taste of sweetness, she's hooked.

In this moment, Lena knows. She's in love.

-

Four years from now, Kara is going to reach across the table at Noonan's and take her hand. She's going to look deep into Lena's eyes, biting her lip as her thumb rubs gentle circles into Lena's palm, and her voice will barely rise above a whisper when she asks, “When did you know?”

And when she does, four years from now, Lena will also think back to this moment.

This moment, which may well be one of the lowest of Lena's life. And she's had some doozies.

The two bottles of wine she'd managed to mainline between Sam leaving to orchestrate damage control at L-Corp and Kara arriving and attempting to confiscate her glass have well and truly caught up to her now. She sways heavily on her stool, the room spinning. Tears sting her vision and guilt scorches her throat as she presses a hand over her eyes so she won't have to look at Kara's face anymore.

“Please, just— just, stop believing in me, okay?” she slurs, heart full to shattering with the faces of lead-poisoned children. “I am not worth it.”

She hears Kara sigh, and the room falls silent for a long long time. Lena drops her head fully into her hands, fighting the nausea that's taken root in the pit of her stomach. It could be the booze that's causing it, of course, but it could also be the incessant headlines baying for her blood, the bullet James had taken for her that she'd fully deserved, the curse of her family finally fulfilling itself.

The guilt, the worry, the crushing disappointment of the knowledge that despite her very best efforts, she'll never be anything but a monster— it's too much to feel. It's too much to bear.

So, Lena drinks.

She drains her glass. She pours another. Kara watches, silent and disapproving, fingers twitching against the granite countertop between them.

Lena finishes her glass. Splashes the last dregs of the bottle into it, blood on ice. Still Kara watches, motionless and mute. It's only when Lena's swallowed the last of the red and is lurching unsteadily to her feet to source another that she moves, a hand reaching out to encircle her wrist.

Shame ignites beneath her skin and she pushes Kara away. Snaps at her to go home, to learn to recognise a lost cause when she sees one and just give up already. Kara refuses with a stoic shake of her head, and Lena sighs.

They repeat the same routine three times en route to Sam's wine rack, the blonde shadowing her every step. Each time, Lena wobbles, head fuzzy and room spinning. Each time, Kara steadies her, and Lena flinches from her touch like her palm is a brand, snarls at her to leave, to cut her losses, to just fuck off. Each time, Kara refuses.

She eventually retrieves the wine after a number of unsuccessful attempts but overbalances on her toes, bottle slipping from her grip as she sways dangerously. And then Kara is there, glass bottle caught a split second before it can shatter, a firm arm at her waist that will not be rebuffed.

Lena struggles, shoving and protesting, but this time Kara does not give in. “Enough,” she says quietly, firmly, blue eyes burning a mere inch from Lena's own. “Lena, enough.”

Lena's unsteady legs buckle further and Kara’s basically holding her up now, walking her slowly over to the couch and she shouldn't be this strong, surely, shouldn't be lifting Lena onto the cushions quite this easily. But it's such a minor concern when weighted against the fact that Lena is personally responsible for the hospitalisation of children that her mind brushes over it, forgets it immediately.

"Please go home,” she slurs as the blonde arranges her on the couch, as she stashes the unopened wine far out of reach and sets about finding blankets and pillows in various cupboards. “Please, just— leave me alone.”

“No,” Kara says, almost snaps, glancing back over her shoulder. Partially hidden in the linen cupboard, her face is cast deep in shadow, a splinter of half-concealed truth. “I made you a promise, I gave you my word. I'm your friend, and I will protect you. Always.”

She crosses back to the couch, soft blankets and pillows held out in invitation. When Lena refuses the offering Kara sighs, draping a knitted throw over her anyway and perching on the cushions beside Lena's hip. “I'm not going to leave you, so you might as well stop asking,” she hums, softer now, a hand reaching toward her that Lena no longer possesses the strength or coordination to bat away.

Long fingers make contact with her cheek, with the mussed curls tangling in her eyelashes, and Kara sighs. “You are not your brother,” she murmurs, fingertips grazing Lena's cheekbone, sliding back to thread into the fine hair at her temple. “And you never will be. There's too much light in you to allow for that kind of darkness, so put that fear down, Lena. Let it go. Be free of it.”

Tears spring unbidden to her eyes. “I poisoned children.”

Kara tilts forward and Lena wonders if it's just that her vision has upped its spinning, but then warm lips are pressing against her forehead, soft and delicate as gossamer wings. Kara's mouth moves against her skin, breath damp and sweet and unmistakeably her. “You saved the world.”

Neither one of them moves. When Lena speaks again, the words hit the elegant hollow of Kara's throat. “I don't deserve your kindness. I don't deserve you.”

Kara's lips are still on her forehead. “I don't care.”

Lena feels as if her throat is splitting open, every last fear and hatred and worry and insecurity gushing out of her in an unstoppable stream. “I'm scared.”

“I know.” Kara's lips press once more, and then withdraw. They watch each other in the dim light from the kitchen. Lena's vision is beginning to blur at the edges. Kara's hand is still in her hair.

“You will get through this,” the blonde whispers, so earnest Lena almost manages to believe her. “We'll figure it out. Together.”

Heart in her mouth, tongue sticking behind her teeth, Lena's eyes slide closed.

The sweetness of Kara's words, her gentle touches, seep inside her like honey. She doesn't deserve it but God, she wants it. She wants to be worthy of Kara's faith in her more than she's ever wanted anything in her life. She wants Kara more than she's ever wanted anything in her life.

And it's telling, she knows, that she's just lost the trust of all of National City, that she has no way of easing those children's suffering and no way to prove that she isn't the cause of it, that she's finally living up to the Luthor name she's been running from ever since she'd learned what it truly meant and yet in this moment, with Kara's hand in her hair and the ghostly imprint of her lips on Lena's skin, none of it seems to matter.

In this moment, Lena knows. She's in love.

-

Three years from now, Kara is going to reach across the table at Noonan's and take her hand. She's going to look deep into Lena's eyes, biting her lip as her thumb rubs gentle circles into Lena's palm, and her voice will barely rise above a whisper when she asks, “When did you know?”

And when she does, three years from now, Lena will also think back to this moment.

This moment, which stands alone as an oasis of calm in the turbulent tumult of the past days, weeks, months of chaos. Lex's escape from custody, Eve Teschmacher's betrayal, James’ shooting, the Harun-El serum, the whole shitty totality of it all has been weighing Lena down like an nth metal chain around her neck.

And Kara, Kara hasn't been around. The one person who has always managed to ease Lena's suffering has deserted her when she needs her the most and it feels like she's been sliced open, cracked in two.

She tells her as much, when Kara at last comes to see her. Tells her she's missed her, tells her she needs her, all but begs her to stay. And what does Kara do? She leaves.

And when she leaves, Lena is gripped by a panic so intense she fears she may never breathe freely again. So terrified is she that Kara is gone for good, that she's forced away the best thing that's ever happened to her, that almost before she knows what's happening she finds herself at Catco with apologies dripping from her own tongue.

Anything to get Kara back. Anything to keep her.

Lena apologises. Kara apologises. Lena cries, and Kara holds her, and tells her that the decision to help her brother when he was dying of cancer doesn't make her the monster she now believes herself to be. And standing on her office balcony with Kara's fingers wrapped around her biceps, with her own tears spotting dark on Kara's blazer, Lena manages to believe her.

When she's collected herself, smoothed away the wetness coursing down her cheeks, she speaks. “I really want to help you with your investigation on Lex.”

Kara's face lights up; Lena's whole world along with it.

“I'd love that,” Kara says, voice quiet and still a little tentative in the wake of their new truce. “But first— would you, um. Would you like to have lunch with me?”

Lena blinks. “Don't you want to get started on the exposé?”

“I do. But—” Kara's face is still painted that earnest shade from earlier, when she'd smoothed her hands over Lena's shoulders and whispered you are a brilliant, kind-hearted, beautiful soul against the sensitive skin of her neck. Lena feels her cheeks heat up at the memory, at the intensity in the blue eyes still roving her face.

Kara shuffles her feet but her gaze is clear, unwavering. “But you were right. I've spent too much time recently prioritising the wrong things. So, I want to work on this exposé with you, and I want to bring your brother down. But first, I'd really just like to have lunch with my best friend.”

Lena's heart trips in her chest. “I'd like that too.”

So, that's what they do. Kara asks her to wait, which she does, idly tapping out a few emails on her phone. And then the blonde is back, far quicker than should have been possible, with her arms full of takeout bags from the café on the third floor and she's taking Lena by the hand and leading her to Cat Grant's private elevator. She presses the button for the roof and Lena's gaze jumps to her face but Kara only smiles, and squeezes her fingers. “Trust me, it'll be worth it,” she hums, her excitement infectious. “You'll be safe with me.”

And Lena believes her.

That's how she ends up sitting at the edge of Catco's roof on a clean sheet Kara had borrowed from the builders on the second floor, heels kicked off, Kara's red blazer draped around her shoulders. It is worth it, she'll admit; the view from this high is phenomenal. The sun burns bright in a cloudless sky, glinting off the glass-sided skyscrapers of the business district, the glittering waters of the bay beyond.

Kara had picked up Lena's favourite salad, some flatbreads and dips, and they drink kombucha and eat strawberries in the sunshine. They talk and they laugh and they catch up and there's no more fighting, no animosity, no megalomaniac brothers or backstabbing secretaries or worlds needing to be saved. There's only them, she and Kara, and it feels like all she will ever need.

The blonde's hands are braced behind her on the rooftop and she looks happy and carefree as she regales Lena with stories of her upstairs neighbour's antics, and Lena feels the tight knot of tension that had taken up residence in her chest begin to unfurl.

"Hey,” Kara hums, pushing up straighter as Lena licks strawberry juice from her fingertips. The motion brings them closer, their shoulders brushing. “Look up.”

Lena does. High above them, a huge murmuration of starlings whirls and swoops through the air. Thousands of birds move together as one, a vast wave cresting but never breaking against the blue canvass of sky.

“Wow,” Lena gasps, awed.

Against her side, Kara hums. “Yeah.”

They watch the birds for a long moment, captivated by the ceaseless swirling and diving. When Lena at last tears her gaze away from the sky, Kara's eyes rest intently on her face. "Here,” the blonde murmurs, reaching out. The pad of one finger makes feather-light contact with her cheek. Lena's breath catches in her chest.

Kara holds out her finger, proffering the stray eyelash she'd captured with a smile. "Make a wish,” she whispers, her fingertip an inch from Lena's mouth. Her eyes never leave Lena’s.

Lena looks from Kara's face to the eyelash, and back again. From somewhere deep inside her heart, the truth bubbles its way to the surface. “I don't need to.”

Kara smiles, a brilliant, beautiful smile, and Lena knows. The stresses and anxieties of their current crisis feel far away here, harmless as birdsong. She's meted out forgiveness, received it in return. For the first time in her adult life Lena has communicated an issue with a loved one and been heard, understood. She has admitted her own mistake without having it spell out the end of her relationship.

Lena smiles back. The weight of the world sublimates into nothing beneath the bliss of a simple picnic in the sun.

In this moment, Lena knows. She's in love.

-

Two years from now, Kara is going to reach across the table at Noonan's and take her hand. She's going to look deep into Lena's eyes, biting her lip as her thumb rubs gentle circles into Lena's palm, and her voice will barely rise above a whisper when she asks, “When did you know?”

And when she does, two years from now, Lena will think back to this moment.

This moment, which has sapped the both of them to the bone. Another fight, another screaming match, another quick-fire back and forth of accusations and recriminations. Another night of cursing and crying and choking on all the things they never said before this, on all the things they can't now that Kara's secret has detonated in the shrinking space between them like a nuclear bomb.

Another round of bloodshed, and for what?

Lena sags against the arm of the couch, exhausted. Her face is hot, scratchy with salt from the tears still drying on her skin. She's dehydrated, probably, and half hoarse from shouting, tongue blistered with the bitter sting of betrayal.

Across the no man's land of her living room, Kara slumps against the floor-length windows, drops her temple to the cool glass. She's breathing heavily, cheeks wet, posture battered and eyes dark-bruised beneath the force of Lena's wrath. As Lena watches, her eyes slide closed.

It's been three months since Lena found out. Three weeks since Kara found out that Lena had found out.

Every night since, they've done this. Every night, Kara has shown up on her balcony and begged, pleaded, apologised, cajoled, defended, rebuffed, and sobbed. Every night, Lena has unleashed the hollow agony of Kara's deception masquerading as anger in her chest, incinerating the both of them in the fires of her desolation.

She would have expected the wounds to have cauterised by now. To feel some kind of release, the relief of catharsis. Or at least, to have expended some of her fury after all this time.

She hasn't.

They've been at this for three hours already this evening, and gotten nowhere. Kara's skin is pale above that fucking supersuit, face drawn and complexion sallow.

Lena knows how she feels. The singular exhaustion that is her rift with Kara has sapped her in every way imaginable. She can't sleep. She barely eats. She's no longer interested in work, research, friends. There's nothing in her life that isn't tainted by the shadow of the lies her best friend told and kept telling, every day for four years. Lena doesn't know how any amount of screaming and crying is ever going to get them past that.

Across the room, Kara sighs. It might be the saddest sound Lena has ever heard.

“Should we keep doing this?” she asks after an interminable silence, voice rough with tears still building. Her eyes are still closed.

Lena manages, with exorbitant effort, to raise her drooping head. “What?”

“Is there a point to all this?” Kara asks quietly, hunched body sliding a little further down the glass. "The explanations, the fighting?”

Blue eyes blink open. The weight of the sadness in them is unbearable. Lena struggles to find it within herself to care.

“Lying to you about who I am is the single biggest mistake I have ever made, and if it will make even one single shred of difference I will apologise to you every day for as long as I live,” Kara says into the aching chasm between them. “But I can't keep doing this. Not if it won't change anything. I can't— I don't want to keep hurting you.”

An hour ago, Lena would have scoffed at a sentiment like that. Would have parried back with some piercingly dry comment about how the blonde should have thought about that before she decided to betray Lena's trust as soundly as she possibly could.

Now, though— now, she's just too tired.

“So, should we keep doing this?” Kara whispers, throat working. “Or— God, Lena. Should we just— should we give up?”

Green eyes meet blue, two shattered hearts haemorrhaging between them. “Is that what you want?”

“No.” Kara's voice is loud, fiercely determined in the face of Lena's hesitant whisper. “God, no. Never. I don't ever want to give up on you, Lena. I don't ever want to give you up.”

Kara straightens then, with a strength Lena cannot imagine mustering herself. Perks of being a superhero, she supposes. Perks of being Kryptonian. The thought stakes another shard of ice through her bleeding heart.

“But I know that I've spent four years calling the shots for both of us by keeping you in the dark,” Kara continues. “I've taken away your agency. I've taken away your choice. I won't do that again.”

She sucks in a deep breath, a little of Supergirl's regality seeping back into the defeated slump of her shoulders. “So, I'm doing what I should have done from the start. I'm being honest with you, and hoping that you'll be honest back. I'm asking what you want.”

Kara's fingers twist anxiously before her, bottom lip bleaching white beneath the nervous pressure of her teeth. “Do you think we should keep doing this? Or do you— fuck.” Her voice cracks, the tears brimming in her eyes once again breaking free. “Do you want to give up?”

Jesus Christ. Lena never knew that the prospect of doing the right thing could hurt so much.

“Fuck,” she mutters as she kneads her knuckles over her closed eyelids, digging in until white lights starburst across her vision. “Fuck, Kara.”

“I know,” the blonde whispers from across the room, brittle and broken. “I know. I'm sorry.”

Lena slows her assault on her own eyelids, pinching thumb and forefinger hard at the bridge of her nose instead. “I want to give up,” she mutters, and in the taut silence between them she hears the blonde gasp, watery and thick.

Lena blinks open her eyes to find Kara's face crumpling, every facet of her seeming to fold in on itself even as she visibly fights to keep herself upright.

Lena sighs, and hates Kara, and hates herself even more. “I want to, but— I can't.” She sucks in a ragged breath, hating the truth that's just fallen from her lips, hating the lies that had necessitated it. Hating everything and everyone and most of all, hating just how much she's hurting. “I can't give this up.”

The tiniest spark of hope flares to life in Kara's eyes. Lena hates that she notices, hates that she cares, hates that the sight eases the tight knot of devastation clawing at her ribcage just the tiniest bit.

She also knows that this was inevitable. She knows that, though she hates Kara, though she's nowhere close to forgiving her, though she has no idea how they can rebuild from here or even if she truly wants to try, a question like Kara's could only ever have one answer.

In this moment, Lena knows. She's in love.

-

One year from now, Kara is going to reach across the table at Noonan's and take her hand. She's going to look deep into Lena's eyes, biting her lip as her thumb rubs gentle circles into Lena's palm, and her voice will barely rise above a whisper when she asks, “When did you know?”

And when she does, one year from now, Lena will also think back to this moment.

This moment, which is barely even a moment at all. It's more like a dream, warm and faded and fogged in darkness, seconds stolen when sleep should have long since claimed them.

Kara's nightmare had woken them both. In the month since they'd pulled her out of the Phantom Zone, she hadn't slept alone once. Often, she stays with Alex, curling into her sister's side the way she would when they were just kids after one too many late-night horror movies. Once, she stays with Nia, tucked up snug in a borrowed pair of puppy print pyjamas.

Mostly, she stays with Lena. It's natural and unspoken and easy as breathing, the way Kara will show up at her place after a Supergirl save or Lena will let herself into the blonde's apartment after a late night in the lab. They cook dinner and watch Celebrity Masterchef and brush their teeth elbow to elbow at the bathroom sink and when Kara is inevitably tugged screaming and sobbing from her night terrors, the way she presses her face to Lena's neck and her hand over Lena's heart is natural and unspoken and easy as breathing, too.

Kara's racing pulse has calmed a little, her grip on Lena's body beneath her losing some of its urgent desperation. After a long moment of Lena's hand stroking her hair, of gentle reassurances and lips pressed to her temple the blonde pulls back, just enough to rest her head on the pillow facing her.

In the dim light filtering in through the bedroom window Kara's pupils are blown, her face solemn. There's something in her heavy gaze that Lena can't identify; something weighted and potent that prickles goosebumps up the length of her spine.

"Feeling better?” she whispers into the inch of warm air between them, reaching out to tuck a sweat-matted curl reverently behind the blonde's ear.

Kara catches her retreating hand and holds tight, twining their fingers together on the narrow swathe of pillow between them. If either of them were to move so much as a millimetre, their clasped hands would press against their lips.

The blonde nods and sure enough, the soft heat of her mouth brushes the back of Lena's knuckles. She shivers.

Kara is still watching her, the intensity of her gaze causing Lena's heart to thud hard in her throat. She squeezes lightly at the fingers threaded through her own. “What?”

A pause, heavy and sweet as overripe fruit. Kara blinks once, slow. “You're my best friend.”

Lena swallows down a sudden swell of emotion. The blonde nudges closer and when she speaks, the wet seam of her lips catches on the angle of Lena's bent knuckles, painting her skin with the words.

“You're the most important person in the world to me,” Kara whispers, breaths skating fire-flashes across Lena's fingers, voice muffling out past the mouth pressed to her skin. “You know that, right?”

Lena's voice deserts her in the wake of the quiet words. She leans forward instead, presses her lips to Kara's fingertips where they rest against the back of her own hand. It's answer enough.

She hears Kara's breath catch, feels the disruption mirrored in her own chest. Both their mouths are pressed to the joined hands clasped between them. If they were to move their fingers down even just a fraction, there would be nothing separating their lips but a promise, a prayer.

Kara's eyelashes flutter in the semi-darkness. The tip of her nose brushes Lena's own. Neither one of them moves their hands.

They only gaze at one another a long moment, and Lena wonders if the blonde is memorising the planes of her face the way she's memorising Kara's. She could look at her forever, be happy here with her forever, and in this moment, Lena knows. She's in love.

For the first time, she wonders if she might not be the only one.

-

Right now, Kara is reaching across the table at Noonan's and taking Lena's hand.

It's been three weeks since they'd taken down Lex for the last time. Three weeks since Kara had stormed into the Tower's med bay to cup Lena's bloody, bruised face in her hands; since she'd brushed her thumbs feather-light over Lena's split eyebrow and purpling jaw and growled don't you ever scare me like that again. Three weeks since she'd leaned in and pressed her lips to Lena's.

It's been two weeks and six days since Lena, confined to a gurney but utterly uncaring thanks to the warm Kryptonian curled against her side, had pressed her aching face to Kara's shoulder and first whispered that she loved her. Two weeks and six days since Kara had first said it back.

It's been two weeks and five and a half days since Nia had walked in on Lena in Kara's arms, lips pressed to her neck and hands wandering beneath her sweatshirt, and promptly shrieked the place down. Since their friends had exchanged pointed glances and relieved sighs and congratulated them on finally making it official, their expressions ranging from overjoyed to exasperated to plain exhausted.

It's been two weeks and four days of she and Kara dating; of morning kisses and shared showers and the perfect partner at game night and all of Lena's wildest dreams coming true.

It's been less than a minute since Kara had admitted, hushed and wondering, that she'd known she was in love with Lena ever since she'd found herself suddenly prepared to poison National City's entire water supply rather than let Lena fall. That she hadn't been able to fully it admit it to herself until she'd found herself suddenly prepared to alter the course of all of history in order to get Lena back.

And right now, Kara is reaching across the table at Noonan's and taking her hand. She's looking deep into Lena's eyes, biting her lip as her thumb rubs gentle circles into Lena's palm, and her voice barely rises above a whisper when she asks, “When did you know?”

And now that she has, Lena is sure of her answer.

The highlight reel of her relationship with Kara lays itself at Lena's feet, each precious memory between them stretching out like a roadmap of her growing affection, with every hard-won step leading her right to this moment.

And in this moment, Lena knows. She's in love with Kara. Really, she always has been.

[only-in-december]

I saw a post recently (I think it was from @floralflowerpower) about songs and how they can have deeper meanings than we sometimes realize. And at one point Christian rock was mentioned, and as a Christian myself, I feel qualified to talk about that. (This post is long, and kinda rambly. It also ended up being me just fangirling over bands the whole time. Be warned.) (There are song recommendations though. But I'm unsure of how to link them all. There's a lot.)

Christian rock is most definitely a more recently accepted thing. Because older generations saw rock as the devil's music. It was evil. Any band that played it was evil.

Which brings me to the first artist I want to talk about, Larry Norman. He was in some ways, the first Christian rock artist. He challenged the view of "the devil's music" with songs like 'Why Should The Devil Have All The Good Music' (I know, kinda on the nose there😅) 'The Great American Novel' is one of my personal favorites by him, because he uses the song to not only call out the problems with Christian culture, but also American culture. He was a pioneer for some of the other artists I want to talk aboqut, and definitely deserves mentioning.

Next I want to talk about Disciple. They're a lot more recent than Larry Norman. And as such, much more modern rock. Songs like 'Dear X' and 'Invisible' built my teenage years a lot. 'Dear X' is about how your past sins and mistakes don't own you as a person anymore. Shame and Pain and Hate can't take you back. 'Invisible' is more about how God can reach anyone. No one is too broken, too lost, too hurt, that He can't help. It's amazing.

Another band I want to talk about is Demon Hunter. They're probably the hardest rock group I'll talk about here. I personally don't listen to them much, because they are more of a screamy band at times, and I'm not into that. But still, songs like 'Dead Flowers' are much softer, it has a melody and is my favorite by them.

Kutless. I just have so much love for them. They're a group that does actual worship songs (as in albums,) and they do hard rock songs too. 'Million Dollar Man' 'Hearts of The Innocent' and their cover of 'Take Me In' are some of my top favorites. (Legitimately though, I could probably talk forever about them. I'm cutting myself short here.)

I'm going back in time to the 70s for a sec to talk Petra! 'Take Me In' is originally theirs, (although I prefer the Kutless version) and they also have gems like 'The Coloring Song.' I don't listen to them a lot either, because they're more old school rock, which isn't my thing. But 'The Coloring Song' IS my childhood.

Skillet is a Christian rock band, that I think is at least somewhat popular in secular groups too. The entire 'Awake and Alive' album is just amazing. They don't shy away from their faith, but not every song is explicitly Christian either. I can't recommend them enough.

Thousand Foot Krutch is one of my boyfriend's favorite bands. And yes. They have great music. 'Fly on The Wall' is amazing. 'Phenomenon' is....(don't say it don't say it don't sa-) phenomenal. They are a harder group sometimes, but still to notch.

Okay, last one for now. And probably my absolute favorite on this list I've made, is Red. I just can't say enough. They have harder songs like 'Infidel' 'Release The Panic' and 'Feed The Machine.' And they also have softer songs like 'Hold Me Now,' which I personally love. Songs like 'Glass House' 'Perfect Life' 'Cauterize' 'Only Fight' 'The Darkest Part' and 'The Evening Hate' are soo well done. And don't get started on their music videos. They have an entire storyline going through a bunch of them, leading into the video for 'The Evening Hate' which is literally 14 minutes long. I love them a lot.

TL;DR Christian Rock has a lot of variety, and is really good. (And also not evil devil music.) Thank you.

Feel free to ask me about any of these artists or songs. I might not be the most knowledgeable, but I'll do my best🙂🙂🙂

[th3rah]

What do you think Modern!Sandor would be like? Same tragic backstory (Gregor burning his face) 🥰

Modern! Sandor will have grown up with those scars on his face and the same anger towards Gregor for inflicting that pain upon him.

Gregor was still the favorite in the family and so, when he is sent to an institution for brutalizing Sandor, the family makes it a point to visit as often as possible and act as if the entire incident was blown out of proportion.

The young Sandor doesn't visit. He closes himself off from the family and glares out the window as he watches the car pull out of the driveway, knowing his parents mourn the disappearance of his brother more so than his face.

School was a challenge for him. Kids were cruel and made fun of his scars. For him, there was no making friends. Even those who genuinely tried to befriend him were seen as people who simply pitied him. And he wouldn't have that. So, Sandor kept to himself. When it came to high school, he skipped a great deal of it. Choosing to hang out on the bike trails and smoke cigarettes he steals from the market. Eventually, he just stops going to school altogether before officially dropping out.

Soon after that, he takes up a job in a factory assembling car parts. He honestly enjoys it. The coworkers he has are a bit annoying as they rant and rave about petty work drama, but they treat him as an equal and actually respect him. The job itself is pretty easy too. He prefers working with machines and their parts rather than dealing with people.

He has his own place out in the county, away from the noisy city. There, he works on junked cars that he bought. You wouldn't know it about him unless he told you, but his home has also become a sanctuary for stray animals that he comes across.

A lot of people dump their pets in the country. This makes Sandor angry. To be abandoned by those you hold dearly is something he can relate to deeply, and to see it done to so many helpless creatures infuriates him beyond reason. In a way, he's still a helpless creature. But it gives him purpose to take that dog or cat in. It heals him bit by bit.

Sandor's favorite time of year is fall. He wears flannel and his hobby switches from working on cars to chopping wood for the coming winter. He enjoys making soup and getting cozy in his oversized La-Z-Boy, watching reruns of old sitcoms (he's honestly a sucker for M*A*S*H and the Golden Girls). He'll drink plenty of beer too. Local breweries are Sandor's favorite to visit and buy from. Although he doesn't understand the obsession for fall beers. Give him a porter beer any day.

The man can make amazing breakfast. Sandor doesn't like to rise before 10 am, but he'll get up and make eggs, sausage, bacon, the works! He'll even share some of the bacon or sausage with the dogs if they're well behaved. He feeds the dogs and cats for the morning and heads out to his job or to run errands.

Sandor listens to rock n roll (specifically 80s), metal, and folk. It would be a flat out lie if he said Fleetwood Mac's song, "Landslide," didn't make him cry. He knows the chords of that song on the guitar. Many nights, he will sit out on the porch with the dogs and play little songs for them.

Sandor's life hasn't been exactly easy. He's still bitter about his childhood. He finds himself lonely plenty of times, although he is genuinely content with his pets and the love they give him unconditionally. But some small part of him hopes that he will meet someone right for him. Maybe that someone is you.

[necros-writing-stuff]

Can we get some headcanons for each LI’s music taste?

Oh this is interesting to think about.

Alex you would bet listens to country, but its actually pop that gets them going. They have a playlist full of Melanie Martinez, Marina, Britney, Fergie etc. Like the energy it gives. Sings Toxic while feeding the pigs.

Avery will tell you various composers, a lot of things a high society people are expected to like - don't bring up the Nine Inch Nails cd you found in their car. Avery loves horny metal music. Deftones is another they like.

Black Wolf doesn't really get a chance to listen to human music, but the nights the pack are in good spirits and everyone's howling make them happy. This is their family, this is their home.

Eden secretly loves sappy love songs. Less so secretly when you're dancing together, but think of John Newman, Billy Joel, Michael Buble. They're a romantic at heart, they picture them and their s/o in the little scenarios the lyrics paint. Would enjoy Hozier probably.

Great Hawk loves when their mate starts singing new human songs and wants to learn them to duet. The genre doesn't matter as long as you can sing it together.

Kylar is all about Breaking Benjamin, Flyleaf, Avenged Sevenfold. Is heartbroken everytime they find out a band they like is bigoted, but such is the life of a alternative fan. Doesn't go to concerts, slightly afraid they'll get crushed in a mosh pit.

Robin likes indie; Arctic Monkeys, The Neighbourhood. Also likes some artists like Astrid S, Conan Gray. I think Robin would actually have a pretty nice singing voice, but rarely has the confidence to do it in front of others.

Whitney around their friends has on grime and R&B. Whitney by themselves has on Rage Against the Machine, Gizmo, Mindless Self Indulgence. I think they also went through an Emo phase and still occasionally puts on My Chem when they're really in their feelings.

[kaitosimp]

Once upon a time I posted some hc's I have for what Kaito does with his classmates when they hang out, but a few days ago I realized I never posted the hc's I have for him hanging out with the other students so here's part 2 🌠 It's the talent development plan mode all day everyday 🌟 This has been sitting in my drafts for days and it is very long so I'm sorry in advance 💀

☕ Byakuya (imposter) ☕

-They hang out in the dining hall, they chat over snacks and food per Byakuya's request

-Byakuya always asks Kaito to bake sweets like cookies or brownies

-They visit a lot of food places/restaurants

-Kaito knows it's a little odd to be friends with someone who literally imitates another student but he doesn't care

-They talk a lot about how different their lives are, and Kaito always tells Byakuya that he can trust him with his true self

🍴 Teruteru 🍴

-Teruteru always cooks dishes for Kaito to taste

-They go shopping for ingredients/food a lot

-Kaito helps him in the kitchen and Teruteru helps Kaito improve his cooking skills

-Since Kaito always goes stargazing with other people, Teruteru makes snacks and hot chocolate for them and joins in when he can

-Teruteru tries roping Kaito into peeking on the girls, but Kaito just talks about his passion for space so they end up talking about the universe

📸 Mahiru 📸

-Their friendship started when Mahiru randomly came up to him and asked to take a photo of him, Kaito is one of her favorite people to photograph cause of his smile

-They spend a lot of time walking around the academy talking and taking pictures

-Mahiru often takes photos of the moon and the night sky for Kaito

-She got him his own camera when Kaito expressed an interest in photography and taught him how to take photos properly

-They have a thing where they compete to see who took the best photo that day

⚔ Peko ⚔

-They alternate between regular training and kendo sparring a lot

-Kaito is able to make Peko smile, it usually happens when he goes to her with Gundham's devas or tells her cheesy animal jokes

-Peko taught him how to fight with a bamboo sword

-They trust each other a lot, like Kaito knows how she feels about Fuyuhiko and helps her sort through her feelings, and Peko can tell whenever he's feeling down and tries her best to cheer him up

-Their conversations are always about the universe, animals, and sword fighting

🎸 Ibuki 🎸

-They never stay still, when they hang out they'll be running around or playing instruments or playing games, they're super energetic together

-Ibuki taught Kaito how to play the guitar

-They like doing karaoke, she's literally the only person Kaito will sing around

-Ibuki writes songs about space for Kaito and sings them to him, it always makes Kaito happy

-They love listening to music together, whenever they go stargazing they'll bring a speaker outside to blast some music

👘 Hiyoko 👘

-At first Hiyoko thought he was an idiot and Kaito thought she was Kokichi 2.0, their friendship only started cause Mahiru wanted them to get along

-They act like siblings, they bicker a lot and call each other names but they care about the other, Kaito is lowkey protective of her and Hiyoko insults anyone who calls him an idiot cause only she can do that

-Kaito 100% supports/cheers on her dancing, he goes to all her performances with Mahiru

-Kaito gives her a lot of piggy back rides

-Hiyoko likes hearing about the stars and Kaito likes watching her dance practices, they also spend their time eating candy and squishing ants (sorry Gonta he tried but couldn't convince her to leave the ants alone)

🩹 Mikan 🩹

-It took a while for Kaito to get her to understand he truly wanted to be around her

-Kaito always visits her at the nurse's office and helps with whatever she needs

-They have positive talks everyday, Kaito helps lift her self esteem/confidence and always tells her positive things about herself

-Mikan always teaches him new medical things and Kaito teaches her random space facts

-He often makes sure nobody's bothering her or doing anything that could upset her, he knows it'll be a while before Mikan can stand up for herself so he does it for her in the meantime

🏆 Nekomaru 🏆

-They are so l o u d and boisterous and rowdy when they hang out

-A good 95% of their conversations are just them constantly motivating each other on

-They spend most of their time outside in the field playing sports or sparring

-They jog together in the mornings before class

-Nekomaru brings Kaito with him to his teams' sport matches a lot, Kaito always joins him in cheering the players on

🐹 Gundham 🐹

-They bond over animals, Kaito helps Gundham tend to them and he loves playing with the dogs

-Thanks to how much Kaito talks about the universe, Gundham started naming the newborn animals after space things

-Kaito loves playing with Gundham's devas

-Gundham tries to teach him spells and curses, Kaito doesn't have a single magical bone in his body but he still tries

-They like to wander around the city looking for stray animals to feed and take care of

☁️ Nagito ☁️

-It took forever for them to be friends cause Nagito kept talking about Kaito being an amazing beacon of hope while Kaito just wanted to hang out with the guy normally

-Nagito greatly admires Kaito, he always compliments him

-They mostly hang out in Kaito's lab, Nagito really likes listening to Kaito talk about space

-Kaito tries to change Nagito's negative views of himself, it always ends with them going back and forth about how great the other is

-If Kaito's with him when his unlucky situations happen, he always helps Nagito out of them (he lost track of all the times they almost got into hostage situations)

🕹 Chiaki 🕹

-Video games and chilling all day everyday

-They meet up to play games and to talk in their labs, Chiaki always falls asleep so Kaito keeps pillows and blankets in his lab for her naps

-When they hang out outside, they usually grab a bite to eat, walk around the school, and end up cloud watching or stargazing

-Chiaki falls alseep on him a lot so Kaito is always seen carrying her/holding her up

-Chiaki started playing more space related games to make Kaito happy, some of them were sci-fi horror which had the opposite effect but Kaito appreciated the thought still

🍖 Akane 🍖

-They always go to the dining hall to chat and eat, they often meet up with Byakuya and Teruteru there

-They have competitions to see who can eat the most meat

-They like going to the gym to spar, Akane sometimes teaches him gymnastics/parkour moves

-On the weekends, they go to Kaito's favorite space exhibits and Akane's favorite restaurants

-Kaito goes to her gymnastics competitions with Nekomaru to cheer her on

👑 Sonia 👑

-They love watching documentaries and movies, it's always a mix of occult/scientific/murder/space-y stuff

-They go to the library a lot, they have a tradition of picking books for the other to read

-Sonia loves hearing about Kaito's epic adventures and all the space info he knows

-They always make plans for Kaito to visit her home country

-They hang out outside of school a lot since Sonia loves visiting new places

☠ Fuyuhiko ☠

-Kaito always asked Fuyuhiko to hang out and was never intimidated by his attitude or threats so Fuyuhiko just gave up and let the friendship happen

-They like to climb trees, they make competitions of who can climb them faster

-Kaito invites Fuyuhiko to come along with him to his beach trips, they always sunbathe/tan

-Kaito makes fried dough cookies and other sweets for Fuyuhiko (Fuyuhiko really appreciates it/thinks Kaito's awesome for it but he never says that out loud)

-Fuyuhiko became interested in space thanks to Kaito and often asks stuff about it

🔩 Kazuichi 🔩

-They always hang out in Kaito's lab cause Kazuichi is in love with the spaceship simulator in there

-They talk a lot about rocket ships

-Kaito has already decided he wants Kazuichi to build the rocket ship that'll take him to space, Kazuichi is happy to fufill that request

-Kazuichi likes building stuff for Kaito, Kaito's favorite thing has to be the spaceman alarm clock he keeps on his nightstand

-They like to read magazines/mangas, watch action movies, and tinker with machines

💫 Hajime 💫

-Kaito always tries to make Hajime feel included since he isn't an ultimate

-They do all sorts of things around the school like watch movies, play basketball, eat lunch together, read, etc

-Kaito often convinces him to sneak out of the reserve course dormitory at night to stargaze

-Kaito made Hajime a sidekick an hour into being friends and Hajime has since joined the nightly training

-They like going on walks to just talk freely about whatever comes to mind

[rovelae]

Behind the Scenes of “Hologram”

           Today marks exactly one year since I posted arguably my most popular fic. “Hologram” is a postgame Saiouma one-shot about escapism, loneliness, and running away from the past. I put a lot of myself into this fic and I’m blown away by all the love it’s received, not only on AO3 but in Discord servers and other social media. All that excitement made me keep thinking about it, so I thought I’d share a (very self-indulgent) behind-the-scenes of sorts about how I wrote it, as well as what I think of the story.

           This essay will contain spoilers for the whole fic, so if you’d like to read it first, you can find it here. Of course, if the tags scare you off, that’s valid, but you might want to skip this post too since I’ll be quoting it throughout (so, just to be safe, expect the warnings I’ve posted on AO3 to apply here too).

           If you’re a Lorde fan you’ll recognize the lyrics in the fic summary – “Nothing’s wrong when nothing’s true,” from “Buzzcut Season.” The inspiration for this fic came to me while I was on my way to an early shift at work, and I needed a good song in my head to give me the will to live for the next eight hours. Not sure why I chose that song in particular, but maybe part of it is because I like imagining stories to go along with the songs I listen to, like AMVs playing in my head, and I’d never been able to pin down exactly what this song reminded me of.

           The mood of the music is really what compelled me – there’s something lonely about it, and the lyrics sound like the singer’s trying to convince herself that everything’s okay even when all evidence points otherwise. There are “explosions on TV”, and “The men up on the news / They try to tell us all that we will lose,” but “we live beside the pool / Where everything is good.” Despite everything going wrong, despite the notes of fear creeping into the pre-chorus, the character will “play along… in a hologram with you” and “never go home again.”

           From there, it was an easy jump to “postgame Saiou” and that was that.

             There’s a cloud of seagulls hovering in the air around him, and a dozen or so more standing just out of reach, staring him down with beady black eyes. Kokichi takes a slice of bread from the loaf he’s holding and tosses it to one of the birds, watches it catch it and stumble under the weight, watches its head bob as it tries to swallow the whole thing at once. It gets remarkably far before four other birds descend on it, shrieking wildly.

           “Mine, mine, mine,” he mumbles into his folded arms, wondering if Shuichi would get the reference.

           He really wishes Shuichi was here.

           Kokichi upends the rest of the loaf of bread onto the sidewalk and laughs at the resulting chaos until his chest aches.

             To start off, I wanted to create the same lonely mood from “Buzzcut Season” in Kokichi’s simulation. He’s not exactly trapped there, but he’s refusing to leave, because as long as he’s on the fake Jabberwock Island, he can pretend the killing game never happened. The trade-off to that escapism is that the only people he can talk to are the NPCs, who aren’t complex enough to be remotely interesting to him, and Usami, who… well, tries her best, but is more of an informational / moderation program and can’t offer him what a therapist could.

           The only thing Kokichi has to look forward to is Shuichi, who he’s convinced is an extremely lifelike computer program rather than the real thing, because the real Shuichi would definitely hate him for everything that happened during the killing game. He’s so locked into this line of logic that he doesn’t let himself consider that Shuichi has forgiven him – he doesn’t even have a good answer for why the Future Foundation wouldn’t just keep the supposed Shuichi AI on indefinitely, believing it’s their way of baiting him into leaving the simulation.

           It’s not a healthy or sustainable lifestyle in the slightest, but Kokichi stubbornly refuses to do anything but wander the islands aimlessly, passing the time with ice cream and feeding seagulls until the next time he can see Shuichi.

             He dreams that DICE is here in the simulation with him, smiling and carefree as they explore the weird music venue. One of them has gotten the karaoke machine working, and another found a box of kazoos and maracas in the back room. Kokichi already pities anyone unfortunate enough to walk by the building tonight.

           “Not going to sing, Joker?” one of his DICE asks (over the sound of their youngest member shrieking through seven kazoos at once), sitting on the bench next to him.

           “Some games are more fun to watch than play,” he answers, leaning back on his hands and sighing.

           “Like a killing game.”

           The warm dream-atmosphere turns cold then, and Kokichi’s head snaps over to look at him—but his brother is gone and Kaito’s looking back at him instead, blood in his teeth and face ashen pale.

           “You... we don’t have to do this, man,” Kaito says, but it’s a lie and they both know it, and he doesn’t want to look behind him because he knows the machine’s looming over him with its unyielding steel and slow slow slow descent—

           “You’re not real,” he snaps at dream-Kaito, who doesn’t respond except to lift him up again. “Nothing’s real, none of—PUT ME DOWN! LET GO OF ME! DON’T PUT ME BACK IN THERE!”

           “Death is more mercy than you deserve,” Kaito says, and Kokichi claws and bites and kicks his way out of Kaito’s grasp like a wild animal, only to end up in front of a prison cell full of—

           DICE, his beloved DICE, trapped and hurt and afraid, bloodied and beaten and helpless.

           “Why didn’t you save us, boss?” says his second-in-command, clutching the bars with bleeding hands. “Why didn’t you do more? Now we’re all dead and it’s because of you.”

             Moments like this are my reference to Buzzcut Season’s pre-chorus, where the not-okay starts to creep into the illusion. Despite Kokichi’s valiant efforts to forget, he’s still dealing with the aftermath of seeing his family hurt and in danger, watching his friends die, orchestrating the deaths of two of them, being killed himself— and then being told every bit of it was made up to entertain an audience who sees nothing wrong with that picture. Running away is not the way to heal from trauma, and one day soon it’s all bound to come crashing down around him.

             “Do you know what this … island paradise represents, Kokichi?” [Hinata] asks, and Kokichi’s really not in the mood for a lecture but he continues anyway. “Jabberwock Island … was the setting for the fiftieth season of Danganronpa. The golden anniversary, they called it. It was my season.”

           Kokichi hunches over, hugging his arms over his torso and stifiling a scream. He does not want to think about this right now—

           “They wanted it to be the best season of all, which, unfortunately for us, meant it was also the bloodiest,” Hinata says. “Twice as many participants, deadly traps hidden across each of the islands— they even changed the way the motives worked, like when they told Fuyuhiko to cut out his own eye so Peko could have a quick death instead of suffering for days.”

           “Do I look like your therapist, porcupine-head?” Kokichi hisses. A sharp pain is pounding into his skull, and there’s a bitter, metallic taste at the back of his throat. A taste like poison and blood.

           “There was so much going on that the simulation malfunctioned,” Hinata says. “When people died, their Ultimate talents downloaded themselves into me. I’m told that the stress of so many personality grafts came close to liquefying my frontal lobe. I’m lucky I woke up at all… especially considering more than half of the others didn’t.”

           “Why are you telling me this?” Kokichi grates out through the static building in his head. If he opens his eyes, will he see the beach or the dull chrome of the machine closing in on him?

           “Because I know how much you want to forget about what happened,” Hinata says. “Believe me, I get it.”

           ….

           “These things that happened to us… we can’t erase them, no matter how much we want to. Some things have to be remembered.”

             I’d mostly like to leave Hajime’s season up to interpretation, but there are a couple things I wanted to say about it. I imagine Danganronpa is like the Hunger Games in that it’d go all out for big anniversaries. So, there were twice as many participants for the Jabberwock Island beatdown that was probably subtitled “Bloodbath Bay” or something equally appealing. The game’s formula changed from a focus on the mystery and the trials to “look at all these kids massacring each other a la Lord of the Flies,” and since the VR system wasn’t equipped to handle that many people and their deaths, it malfunctioned, giving Hajime way too many Ultimate talents and putting half the cast into comas from which they never woke up.

           Viewers either absolutely loved or absolutely hated this season, depending on whether they were DR fans because of the “blood n’ guts” factor or the “mystery and psychological thriller” aspect. Team Danganronpa faced quite a bit of backlash for actually causing the real-life deaths of half its participants, but were able to weasel their way out of serious legal repercussions because of the waivers the participants had signed beforehand (plus a lot of bribery and falling back on their longstanding popularity). So, the cast of Season 50 failed to end the killing game, but helped provide great evidence for the “Danganronpa is morally wrong” argument.

           Hajime works as a victim liaison for the Future Foundation and has been trying to take down Danganronpa since he got out of it. He’s like that in a few of my fics, actually; I like the idea of Hajime acting as a big brother of sorts to the V3 cast. It’s especially entertaining to imagine his interactions with Kokichi— though maybe not so much in Hologram, since to Kokichi he’s a representation of the past he’s trying so desperately to forget and the future he refuses to acknowledge.

             “SHUT UP!” He launches himself at Hinata, his hands wrapping around the other man’s throat as he uses his momentum to slam him to the ground. “SHUT! UP!”

           “Ko— ghk—” Hinata coughs, eyes wide with surprise, but aside from moving his hands up to grip Kokichi’s wrists, he doesn’t seem all that worried about fighting back.

           The thought only fuels Kokichi’s rage until he’s choking Hinata so hard his knuckles are white. “If you want me out of this simulation so badly, you can kill me,” he snarls. “I’m never waking up! I’m never leaving, do you UNDERSTAND ME?”

           Hinata grimaces, the outline of his avatar flickering, but he still doesn’t struggle, and Kokichi hates him all the more for it, despises him with a seething malice that festers low in his stomach. He wonders distantly if he’d actually kill this man in real life. Or if he’d be able to stop himself, feeling like this.

             Kokichi’s breakdown here is more out of fear than anger. Like I mentioned, Kokichi sees Hajime as another piece of what’s hurt him, and no matter how Hajime tries to help, Kokichi will always remember Danganronpa whenever he sees him.

             Warm yellow-orange light casts a relaxed, cozy glow over the dining hall. It’s an ambience compounded by the flickering candles on the table, which seems overly idyllic, but Kokichi will let it slide because of the adorable way Shuichi flushed when he noticed them as they sat down. Well, if he’s being honest, everything about Shuichi right now is adorable, from the way his hair keeps falling into his eyes to the way he’s nervously fiddling wth his chopsticks. Kokichi wishes he could keep staring at him forever.

           Ah, not… not in a weird way, though, just… because Shuichi’s beautiful, and when Kokichi looks at him he can forget everything bad that’s ever happened, can create some new and brighter world to exist in.

             This is an idea I wish I’d had room to explore a bit more in the story— that is, just how far Kokichi will go to pretend everything’s fine. I thought about making him border on delusional, like having him talk to people who aren’t there or forget what’s actually happening around him because he’s so lost in his fiction-within-a-fiction. It would have creeped Shuichi out a whole lot.

           Unfortunately, there wasn’t much room for that past the plot I’d already nailed down, so I focused on his loneliness and escapism instead. I do touch on it later in this scene, though— the couple paragraphs where he slips into fantasizing about being a phantom thief having a surreptitious meeting with his detective under the not-so-subtle supervision of his DICE. There would have been a lot more of that if I’d gone with the ‘delusion’ stylistic choice, to the point where even the readers would be confused about what’s real. Maybe I’ll look into writing something similar in a future story.

             Eventually, Shuichi sets down his bowl and looks away with a little sigh, and Kokichi clenches his teeth because that’s the sigh he does when it’s time for that conversation.

           “Um… Kokichi?”

           Kokichi’s only response is to exhale the breath he’d been holding in a quiet hiss.

           “I-I know you don’t want to, but… but I really need to talk to you about something,” Shuichi says. “Please?”

           “My Mr. Detective can talk about whatever he’d like!” Kokichi says with a lilt to his tone that makes it sound more sarcastic than he wants it to. He takes the last bite of curry and wishes that it burns hot enough to hurt.

           “It’s about Kaito.”

             This more serious part of the date scene is meant to reflect the little bridge in “Buzzcut Season”:

“Cola with the burnt-out taste

I’m the one you tell your fears to

There’ll never be enough of us.”

           It’s a part of the song that sounds especially bittersweet to me, a bit of self-awareness between the insistence that everything’s okay.

           Really all I think I managed was to reference it when Kokichi’s internal dialogue comments on his drink being “so sweet it tastes burnt” and then later not tasting like anything. But hopefully the mood’s still there.

             “Tell him… that I have nothing against him,” he says.

           “That’s … not a lie?” Shuichi presses.

           Kokichi shakes his head idly, still not raising his gaze. “I wanted to wreck the killing game and he wanted to save his friend. We both got what we wanted. I’d say the end more than justifies the means.”

           Was that a lie?

           (I don’t want to die Shuichi I’m sorry I’m sorry save me Shuichi please I’m sorry ithurtsmakeitstop—)

           His fingers tighten into clawlike shapes, nails digging sharply into his forearms.

             I really don’t think Kokichi would have anything against Kaito, even if here he’s not being completely honest with how much he’s affected by what happened. It wouldn’t make sense to him to hate Kaito for something he himself proposed, but I think there’d still be a subconscious barrier between them. Too much history.

             “Don’t go, Shuichi, I’m so sorry, I— that was so dumb, what I said, please don’t be sad anymore.” He’s not sure if he can’t breathe because of the exertion of running or because of the hysteria boiling over in his head. “Please don’t go, I didn’t mean to hurt you— please don’t leave, Shuichi, I’m so sorry.”

           “Oh, Kokichi….” Shuichi’s tone is strange, soft and pitying, like he sees something Kokichi doesn’t, and he shakes his head slowly as more tears follow the paths of the others.

           Kokichi goes to his knees, ready to grovel if that’s what it takes, but Shuichi follows him down, closing his other hand over Kokichi’s, and then they’re both crying and he doesn’t know why, and all he can do is repeat a mantra of I’m sorry and hold on as tight as he can.

           It’s horrible. Shuichi’s horrible. Shuichi’s wonderful, and kind and lovely and perfect and Kokichi hates him, Kokichi adores him, and it doesn’t matter because Shuichi’s not actually here but Kokichi doesn’t want to be alone, just let me pretend some more, please, please let me have this—

           “I’ll… I’ll stay,” Shuichi says at last. “I can stay a while longer.”

           You shouldn’t, Kokichi wants to say, but his mouth won’t obey him. You shouldn’t stay if you don’t want to. I don’t deserve having you here. I’m not worth your mercy.

           But there on the bridge, crying tears of relief, he soaks up as much mercy as he can get and hopes it’s enough to drown him.

             I wanted to create a contrast between them that highlights just how the isolation and trauma Kokichi’s experiencing has affected him. He has an almost unhealthy reliance on Shuichi as “the only thing that makes this world bearable,” and panics when faced with the prospect of being alone again so soon. Part of why Shuichi’s crying is because he’s realized the extent of Kokichi’s desperation. It’s not that he thinks Kokichi’s apology is insincere, but that he’s hardly heard him apologize for anything before, so Kokichi going this far has him realizing how bad things really are.

             The door rumbles and slides open when they approach, revealing the bright light of the log-out point that took Shuichi away every time, that would wake Kokichi up in his real body if he walked into it. Shuichi stops just a step away from it, biting his lip as if searching for something to say, but before he can find it, Kokichi reaches out to tug at his sleeve.

           “Shuichi?” he says, distant as the waves on the beach that he can still hear if he listens closely enough. Shuichi turns back toward him. “Before you go, can I be selfish one more time?”

           “Huh…?”

           Shuichi doesn’t move when Kokichi steps closer, reaches up to ghost his fingertips over Shuichi’s jaw and around the back of his neck. He lets Kokichi tilt his head downward, lets him hover inches away, close enough to feel their breath mingle in the night air. Kokichi pauses there to give him the chance to pull away. He doesn’t.

           So Kokichi closes his eyes and the distance between them.

             That last line is a ZEUGMA! It’s a literary device where one word refers to two more in a different way. A popular example is the hyenas’ line “Our teeth and ambitions are bared” from The Lion King. It’s my favorite grammatical trick and I’d love to see more of it in fanfic.

             Slowly, he slides his hand down to Shuichi’s shoulder, using it as leverage to push himself away. That hurts even more. He can’t seem to open his eyes, and he feels so weakened, breathless, fragile. Cracked open, hollowed out.

           When he finally does open his eyes, Shuichi’s are wide with some mix of astonishment and a dozen other emotions. Kokichi bows his head, taking a deep breath to ground himself. “Sorry,” he whispers. “I just wanted to know.”

           “Kokichi,” Shuichi breathes, like a bullet through his heart.

           “Goodbye, Shuichi,” Kokichi says, and shoves him into the light.

           Shuichi’s little yelp of surprise cuts off abruptly as he falls through the door, vanishing into the glow, and all too soon, Kokichi’s alone again in a dream that suddenly seems far too vast. Alone, with the faintest taste of Shuichi’s lips still lingering on his own.

           And he thinks, It was enough just to know you.

           It’s a lie.

             Nothing to say here except that this is my favorite scene and I’m so happy with how it turned out.

             Fake sun rises over fake ocean, fake seagulls glide through fake sky while fake wind tousles fake palm fronds. Kokichi lies on his stomach in the fake grass and talks to his fake family in the fake notebook. Gives them fake names and runs through everything he remembers about them. Apologizes, over and over, wishes he could hug each of them goodbye one last time. Wonders if it would be more painful to die or to never have existed at all.

           He leaves the notebook of his memories on the seat of one of the Ferris wheel cars on the fourth island, because one time he promised them they’d steal the London Eye together.

           He buys a can of fake soda from the fake convenience store on the first island and sits on the fake beach watching the fake waves. Wonders when he’d hit the end of the simulation if he started swimming, or if he’d drown first.

           White sand, blue sea, bluer sky. Washed out, like an amateur watercolor painting.

           He opens the soda can and raises it to his mouth, but … even the thought of drinking it makes him sick to his stomach. He sets it down in the sand and flicks it over, watching the bubbly liquid run down and sink into the sand. The color’s all wrong, like blood streaked against a metal floor.

           He walks the fake streets of the fifth island, passing fake skyscrapers and fake commuters and their fake conversations, until he finally stops outside the factory he’s never been able to bring himself to go into. Smells like oil, and metal and machines and he can hear the sounds and he’s immediately back in the hangar, dizzy on adrenaline and desperation and leaning heavily on Kaito so he doesn’t keel over and die then and there. Kaito says something about how maybe he should sit down for a minute, and Kokichi didn’t agree back then but he does now, goes down on all fours and dry heaves.

           When his vision solidifies and he can stop gasping for breath, he sits up and presses his back against the factory wall, covering his ears and hiding his face in his knees. Tries to convince himself not to imagine Shuichi’s there with him, holding his hand again, promising everything’s going to be okay.

           “I’ve got you. No one’s going to hurt you anymore,” or maybe, “Breathe with me, it’ll be over soon. You’re safe now.”

           I love you.

           He laughs until there’s nothing left in his lungs. He called these little daydreams obsession, before, but now they just seem sick and insane.

             I wanted to indicate throughout this scene that Kokichi’s gotten substantially worse. Instead of halfheartedly interacting with the NPCs or finding something to spend time doing, he’s aimlessly wandering the islands, focused on how fake all of it is. Not even talking to his sketches of DICE can make him feel better. The suicidal ideation starts to slip in even if he doesn’t realize it— a fixation on wondering what death is like, purposefully triggering himself by walking by the factory….

           The thing I want to talk about most though is the italicized I love you. I left it outside of quotation marks and dialogue tags on purpose because I wanted it to be ambiguous as to who’s saying it. If it’s Kokichi’s line, it’s sudden and almost out of place, like he couldn’t hold back from thinking it anymore. But it could be Shuichi saying it, too. Since it’s outside quotation marks, unlike the previous dream-Shuichi lines, it’s more vague, almost a whisper in Kokichi’s thoughts— like he can barely bring himself to imagine it and even feels guilty doing so, because there’s no way it could possibly be real.

           Which do you think?

           Eh, I don’t have an answer. When I hear it in my head, they say it at the same time.

             “How did you know?” he finally croaks.

           Shuichi’s breathing still sounds shaky, too. “Because you said ‘goodbye,’” he says.

           Kokichi finally looks up at him in a silent question.

           “You never say goodbye,” Shuichi says, rubbing his sleeve over his eyes. “It’s always….”

           “‘See you later,’” Kokichi finishes for him. Despite himself, a tiny huff of astonished laughter escapes him. “I didn’t even know, not until a couple of hours ago. And you figured it all out from one word?”

           Shuichi bites his lip at that. “You kissed me,” he says.

           Kokichi’s stomach twists and he looks away. “I said I was sorry—”

           “No.” Shuichi squeezes his hand into a fist and lets it fall to thump against Kokichi’s chest, like he’s trying to knock some sense into him. “It was so honest, and vulnerable, and… and I know how much you hate showing how you really feel.” Another tiny sob catches in his throat. “And so it felt like … like something you’d do if you weren’t going to s-see me again.”

           “Shuichi….” Kokichi trails off as Shuichi muffles his cries in his hand again. He’s so breathtakingly smart. There’s no one else in the world who thinks that way, no one else who could possibly be that attentive and that clever. Not a programmer, not a team of shrinks… how can an AI manage it? How is it that Shuichi always manages to take him by surprise? How can he see straight through him when he least expects it?

           Kokichi’s hand reaches up to Shuichi’s cheek. Reverently traces the path of the tears falling down it.

           “I wish you were real,” he confesses in a whisper.

             Kokichi’s stubborn. So, so stubborn. And he’s not used to being cared about, if the way he does everything by himself is any indication. So it makes sense to me that he’ll refuse to believe anything good can happen to him even in the face of convincing evidence. He’s pretty self-hating for someone so arrogant.

             Kokichi’s weak, deep down to his core, weak for this man. Already knows he’d do anything for him, and the thought is terrifying—that one person could have that much power over him, even if he doesn’t realize it.

           But what if he has realized it? Couldn’t this all be an elaborate ruse, a lie he knew Kokichi would be so desperate to believe that he wouldn’t bother questioning it?

           …Shuichi’s never hurt him, though. Only that one time, when he really deserved it. Shuichi wouldn’t … betray him, even for what he thinks is Kokichi’s own good. They’re… different from each other, that way.

           But still….

           “I’m so scared, Shuichi.” It’s barely a whisper. “I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

           “You won’t be.” It’s so hard to be skeptical, lost in his eyes. “I’ll be right there with you, for as long as you want. I won’t let you feel like this anymore.”

           Promise me, he wants to blurt out. Promise you’ll stay. Promise me you’ll never leave me, Shuichi, he wants to demand, but that’s wrong, that’s manipulative and selfish and everything he doesn’t want to be for Shuichi anymore.

           Shuichi, of course, says it anyway.

           “I promise, Kokichi.”

…        

           “Kiss me again,” he says. “Please?”

           Shuichi leans in close, then pauses, his brow furrowing the way it does when he catches him in a lie.

           “I’ll kiss you again in the real world,” Shuichi says. “Okay?”

           Kokichi shakes his head. “Shuichi, please.” Please, I don’t think I can do this. Please, I don’t want to wake up to a lie. Please, one last kiss for me to remember in case it was all fake.

           Shuichi reaches out to tilt his chin up and Kokichi closes his eyes, savoring every second, burning it into his memory.

           Shuichi’s soft breath ghosts over his lips.

           “Trust me,” he murmurs.        

           Kokichi’s eyes flutter back open, searching his face. Shifting him around on the white board in his head, seeing what categories he fits into this time. Weird, of course. Suspicious, maybe not. Trustworthy?

           Trustworthy….

           “I do trust you,” he realizes.

             Kokichi’s still hesitant to accept all of this— Shuichi kissing him didn’t magically fix everything. He’ll still doubt all the way to the log-out point, but at least now he realizes that this simulation is only hurting him— that if things are to get better they’re going to have to change, too. He’s got a long way to go before he’s all right, but he’s not going to have to face it alone anymore.

             And that’s a wrap!

           Once again, I’m really proud of this story, and I feel like I grew as a writer because of it. There are a few things I would change if I wrote it again, but for all its flaws it’s still my baby and I like how it turned out.

           Thanks again for all your support for “Hologram,” and thanks even more if you actually waded through all this nonsense of a director’s cut. It’s a huge confidence-boost to think that people liked what I wrote, and even wanted to hear what I had to say about it. If there’s any interest, I’d love to review some of my other fics here, or theorize or brainstorm or whatever else  you’re into. (Ask me what Byakuya’s Thing is in my superhero AU, I dare you 😉)

           I do have a WIP in my folder of bits and pieces currently titled “boy finally gets that kiss”, and it’s a post-Hologram scene from Shuichi’s point of view to just sorta… tie it all together, have them talk things over again… and kiss, of course. We’ll see if anything comes out of that.

           Until next time!

[anneimaginesundertale]

Fairy Tale AU

In spring/summer 2020, I was really inspired by an RP @kezibun did. She created a fairy tale AU using a machine her persona created that allows people to play a dream game set in an alternate world. I really loved the idea, because fairy tales are one of my obsessions, so I came up with my own ideas for my boys in a fairy tale AU. I then ran the longest RP on my blog, the fairy tale RP, where we explored and built more onto that fairy tale AU world.

I'm going to get all the worldbuilding stuff for that AU in one place (or, y'know, 2, since this post is already gigantic). This post is a Who's Who. The next post will be cover What and Where about the AU (worldbuilding, maps, religion, etc.)

I'm putting this under the cut, because there are 20 boys and that's a whole lot of reading.

Sans (UT)

He is the royal jester!  The royals love his knock-knock jokes and his puns. Sans is known for his easy grin and cheerful disposition.  He is popular at the local tavern and he always seems to know all the townspeople and all the news.  He might be a good person to know if, say, you were looking for somebody…

Papyrus (UT)

He is a squire to Lady Undyne, the captain of the king’s guard!  He dreams of earning his own shield and being a brave knight of the realm!  For now, though, he is happy to serve Lady Undyne, even if mostly what she’s teaching him is cooking.  He’s certain it will come in handy! There are rumors of a dragon in the nearby mountains. Do dragons like spaghetti?

Blue (US Sans)

He is a humble stablehand who dreams of doing more than just taking care of the knights’ horses.  He isn’t of noble blood, though, so they won’t let him try for his shield.  That doesn’t stop him dreaming of adventure, though.  Performing daring deeds of valor, maybe even rescuing a damsel in distress…

Stretch (US Papyrus

He is a traveling bard.  He knows many stories and songs.  He’s got a handsome face and a charisma that gets many swooning over him. He travels the land performing for anyone who will listen.  He’s content to be the teller of stories rather than a figure in one of them.  That’s for his brother to do.

Red (UF Sans)

He is a mercenary, although maybe that isn’t quite the right word.  He may not look like much, but he’s got the wit and charm to get by in a lot of situations and he’s fought for his life before.  He doesn’t usually get jobs to fight.  Rather, people hire him to find people or things and bring them from one place to another.  So maybe he’s more of a delivery boy.  Regardless, he’s good.  If you need something, Red will bring it to you…for a price.

Boss (UF Papyrus)

He is the leader of a band of bandits! They are known and feared throughout the land, and Boss is the most feared of the bunch!  They attack coaches on the road, kidnap nobles and hold them for ransom, that sort of thing.  Somehow the people they target are always the wicked and corrupt ones.  In spite of his profession, Boss has a great sense of honor and all his captives are treated very well (although they might not think so at the time). There are those in Boss’s band who love him and are very loyal, but there are also some who think he is too noble. There might be some rumblings of rebellion…

Black (SF Sans)

He is a noble outlaw who robs the rich to feed the poor.  He is known for his cunning and his wit.  He is determined to see a good ruler placed on the throne, someone who cares about the people and what’s best for them.  He was once a nobleman himself but was exiled after he dared to speak up about the conditions of the common people. He leads a band of rebels who are working to change things for the better.

Mutt/Rus (SF Papyrus)

He went into exile with his brother but he hates the thought of fighting, even for a good cause. All he wants is a quiet life.  His brother can have all the heroics and the glory.  Mutt…Mutt is just tired.

Sansy (HT Sans)

He is a groundskeeper for a noble family.  He has a reputation for not being seen very often but the grounds are always tidy. When he is spotted, he’s very polite. He and his brother came from another kingdom where there was a terrible famine. The people in their village would have gone hungry if not for Sansy and his brother, but once the famine was over the brothers had to flee.  Someone had found out what they’d done to feed their friends and neighbors and…wasn’t pleased about it.  Sansy is very cautious around strangers.

Sweets (HT Papyrus)

Sweets is an apprentice in a bakery in the nearby town. The baker and his wife aren’t actually all that nice to him, but they keep him on because he is a good cook and they think he’s stupid.  He’s not.  He’s been keeping track of all their finances since they took him on, for one thing. He’s also gotten a reputation for being very kind to people in town. Sometimes kindness goes a long way! (Sweets hasn’t told his brother anything about how he’s treated at work.  He knows Sansy would go postal.)

Bones (MT Sans)

Bones and his brother live in the capital city. Bones works for a merchant company, mostly running a store. If you know how to ask, though, you can get access to the “special merchandise”. Merchandise that some people might not want Bones to be selling.

Lucky (MT Papyrus)

He works at the Hall of Records! He’s just an assistant, an assistant’s assistant really, running around and putting books and scrolls back all day. But it’s given him a lot of time to read and learn, especially about the laws of the land. He overlooks his brother’s “activity” mostly because it keeps a roof over their heads and food on the table. He does wish Bones would do something a bit more…lawful.

Smiley (MF Sans)

He and his brother run a tavern in the city.  Smiley mostly runs the bar.  By night, however, he is part of a secret group that’s out to make things better for monsters in the city, even if it means doing some less-than-legal stuff.  Smiley’s a big charmer and a bit of a flirt.  He won’t turn away a guest, but he’s got a “special rate” for nobles with a reputation for treating their people unkindly. Fair doesn’t mean equal, ya know?

Grim (MF Papyrus)

Grim works behind the scenes in the tavern.  He isn’t often seen (unless you didn’t pay your bill and tried to leave) but he’s the one in charge of that secret group.  He tells Smiley and the other monsters where to go and what to do.  They’re trying to make their city a better place, because the Angel knows the humans aren’t gonna do it.  Grim considers himself a gentleman and has a strong sense of right and wrong and a code of conduct he lives by.  He prefers not to be the center of attention.

G (G!Sans)

G is the “younger” son (he and Aster are twins but since he’s not the heir, they joke that he’s younger) and he’s definitely running away from his responsibilities at home.  He’s looking for fun and adventure, and a chance to make some money and friends along the way. As a prince he had a reputation as a bit of a playboy and a lazybones. He is a bit of a flirt.  He doesn’t tend to worry about things a lot.  Life is meant to be enjoyed!

Aster (G!Papyrus)

Prince Aster is the chosen heir to the throne.  He’s known to be quieter and more down-to-earth than his brother, which is why he was made heir.  He spends a lot of time in the castle library, trying to learn all he can about the laws and how to be a good king.  He is worried about his brother, who ran away from home, and worried that he will not be a good ruler.  He wants to know what is going on in his kingdom but no one will allow him out (and he’s not keen on the idea of sneaking out).

Comet (OT Sans)

Comet is a humble gardener.  He is very shy and doesn’t often spend time with the other servants.  He is known to grow beautiful flowers. If you do manage to get to know him, you’ll find that he’s very sweet and that he likes making people happy.  If he really likes you, you’ll find fresh flowers outside your door or on your table every morning.  And if you ever need help, he’ll step up and lend a hand.

Captain (OT Papyrus)

Captain set off to seek his fortune and ended up captured by pirates.  He ended up befriending them and eventually they made him cap’n!  He is the Dread Pirate Bonebeard (even though he doesn’t have a beard).  He and his crew are known far and wide as the nicest pirates you’ll ever meet.  In fact, they’re known to do good deeds if you’ll give them a handsome reward!  Captain sends a portion of his booty to his brother back home.

Both Break and Tango (DT Sans and Papyrus) were once part of a traveling troupe of musicians and dancers! They performed for all the royal and noble famiies in the kingdoms. Recently, travel has become dangerous outside of Ebott, so the troupe is staying local. Tango still travels with them, but Break has chosen to leave. He’s settled in a nice small town in a little cottage, and Break helps out with odd jobs around town. He won’t tell anyone why he stopped performing.

[elbiotipo]

Memories from the Biopunk World

...

"Everything was closed up, everyone was closed in. SENA officers everywhere, the streets restricted for official business. And so on for years. But not the barrio's greenhouse. Every day, Marcos went to feed the pacúes, to check the aquaponics system was working as it should. With a smartphone app, he indentified every plant; the vegetables and the fruitsalad-vines, the irresistible aromatics and spices, and so many flowers that made life yet worth living. When he had time, he picked little pieces of leaves, flowers, even scales, and he scanned them on the old but reliable biosuite. He read the gene list, the biosystematic schemes, the colors of the enzymes and the dyzzing metabolic cycles, not yet understanding what they meant. One day, he did the same with a loose hair of his. Maybe he did because he thought that if a single scale of a pacú had all that, a human being would be too complex to even understand. He waited patiently for the scan to finish. And he was surprised to see he was almost the same as the rest."

...

"Ariel became the barrio's IT Guy. His father asked him to fix his exotic wood bioforge; he opened it up in a thousand parts, reprogramming, updating, cleaning, replacing the reactives. The local bioclub had old biosuites from the last century, of the RNArgentina programs. With a couple online tutorials and some low-cost reactives, he gave the machines a couple decades of life... and also the club. His friends brought their old biosuites and bioforges, stored in garages for years, and Ariel picked parts from one and rebuild another, giving tips on how to maintain them, even updating the enzymes with online designs. So his room became full of old machine parts, refrigerators piled upon each other, pipettes and half-used reactive flasks. He loved tinkering with machines, but thought little else about it, he didn't realize how many lives he changed. He was just the Local IT Guy and nothing else."

...

"Summer in Resistencia was always refreshing. From the plazas, gardens and parks, grew the great columns of the Nawe Epaq, the great living forest-tree that covered the city from end to end with its soft shade, a marvel of bioconstruction, admired by tourists from all over the world. Florencia knew it was forbidden, she knew it was dangerous, she knew her dad was going to kill her if he found out. But even so, she climbed the branches and the trunks. More than once she had to bribe her siblings with ice cream and family computer hours to leave her alone, to be able to climb from the column in her backyard, and count the birds that made their countless nests in the trees, the lizards and frogs that were slowly adapting to a near vertical life, the endless beautiful flowers from all species growing in the branches, the tree sculpturers creating their unique art, and spend long afternoons watching the City of Sculptures from the top, full of green above and below."

...

"Melanie was already used to wear hats and berets. Not as a homage to Che Guevara -well, maybe sometimes...- but from that winter she spent with her head shaved as she implanted her new ears. She liked winter, but that time was so annoying, and her ears never stopped twitching with the cold winds of Buenos Aires. Yes, she looked weird back then, so what? Her classmates laughed at her, at her ears, at her cat's tail, at the cute predator eyes, at her beret larger than her head. They said she was tricked by a fleeting fad, that she was going to regret it in a couple of years. But she never felt so free, so in control of her own look. She knew that was the important thing. So many things were impermanent and still infinitely important. Why not this? Life was too short to be enslaved to the invisible."

...

"The beach was only a short bus trip away, passing through colorful streets and markets with fruitsalad-vines. Marina had read few books set on places like this, now that she remembered. They all made poetry about the winter snow or the autuum leaves. Few, maybe none, talked about the soft breeze of the equatorial Atlantic, about Christmas dinners with ice-cream in a tropical summwe. And none of them, she was sure, not even the wildest authors of old, ever dreamt of the silver cord that connected the Heavens with the Earth, kissing the Atlantic Ocean, the ladder to the stars. That chain of lights that lighted up every day of her life, always in the background, even if she didn't notice. The pride of Brazil. The Santos-Dumont Space Elevator."

...

"The Argentine Sea was clearer than the Still River, but cold, bluegreen, and frankly a little hostile. Pancho didn't hate to go south to fish from time to time, after all, cornalitos were a delicacy for him. But it was uncomfortable. He felt the salt all over his body, the chilling currents from the ices of the south. The deafening sounds of the old fishing boats were no longer heard; maritime treaties had reduced them. And so, Pancho started to hear, in the cold, other things. Distant, melancholic songs, deeply personal, but so loud that a dolphin like him could not help but listen. Like a whisper with the power of thunder, he heard the secret chants of the southern right whales."

...

[greenplumbboblover]

Great minds wanted! (Part 1, Interests)

It’s been a while since I posted my first post on the ‘Interests & Hobbies’ mod! But I did do some stuff behind the scenes and currently am working on interactions :) Thus! Was wondering if anyone had some amazing ideas, feedback, etc for it. 

This is what I have so far (warning, this is SUPER long :p):

Interests: 

Environment:

Can install solar panels

Debate climate change

Consider veganism

Read up on environment

Collect rainwater (Unlocks a new object)

Worry about environment (Is a social interaction)

Donate to good causes

Can consider becoming part of a different energy company

Takes bike over car

IF FASHION INTEREST: Buy vintage clothes/second owned

Chooses to use the recycle bin more

Can plant trees on several locations

Can start own local market (Might require the money interest)

Compost trash (Although the lovely @anitmb made one already :))

Grown own garden gives boost

Refill cup for beverages/travelers mugs (So refillable bottle :))

Walk to lot interaction (Which nraas also covers actually)

Talk about renewable energy

Chooses public transport

Food:

Gets buff after visiting restaurant

“Visit random restaurants” interaction

Gets discount for restaurants after visiting then a few times

IF INTERESTS ANIMALS: train dog to find truffles (People apparently do this! :p)

Order fresh ingredient/ this being like these ‘weekly’ food boxes

Tour restaurant’s kitchen, gain recipe from that

Create signature dish

IF ENVIRONMENT: Start herb garden. This is like a small little plant box that you can keep indoors :)

Quicker in learning how to cook

Brewing skill (?)

Nectar tasting becoming a short skill? This resulting in increasing quality?

Write cookbook!

Practise latte art? (idk :p)

Food contest getting a come back!

Keep a ‘food’ aquarium like done in TS2 on console (Sounds awful I know :p But I can also see how it can be useful :))

IF I can do that, recreate ts2′s console cooking UI 

Buy from local market

Breadbaking skill? Or Baking rather ;) Because sourdough bread needs some love too!

Actual make it that the counters can Open. But that might be too much for this mod.

Weather:

Logging the weather (on a notepad or computer, phone. So basically figuring out the weather patterns)

IF SCIENCE: research weather machine

watching clouds

Discuss weather changes

Browse about clouds

Thats all I had :p...

Culture:

Gets buff when traveling

gets buff when talking to tourism

Gets buff on learning songs

Gets buff for any tourism things

Making/viewing photo album

Viewing art is a thing they love to do

Painting gives them a boost

Browse art/craft on phone/computer

Talking about art/culture

Read about art in newspaper

Research culture/art

Edit photos/add filter

Listening to music

IF FASHION: alter clothing (no idea how :p)

Discuss difference between cultures

Fashion:

For the mean simsies: Will nag about your clothing choice

Introduce ACTUAL clothing buying? But by basically unlocking outfits after you bought them (So other EA clothing you can still get when changing a sim’s outfit through the dresser and what not)

IF ENVIRONMENT INTEREST: Buy vintage clothes/second owned

Start a fashion blog

Design your own outfits? (So you pick a top/bottom/body and design an outfit out of that that you can suggest to other sims?)

Catwalks!

Research fashion

Start your own clothing brand 

Start your own clothing webshop?

Money: 

Check the stocks

Donates to government and such

Starting local market

Start partnership

Owning business/property will boost this

IF owning a business: Promote business

IF owning a business: Try to gain partners for the business

IF owning a business: Get more owners

Politics:

That’s where I got a bit stuck... but here are some thoughts:

Get people to be involved for protests

Do protests

Talk about politics

Start campaign

IF that campaign gets big, then have debates at the City hall

Paranormal:

Find mediums online

Feels a need to meet all occults

Feels super good to be around other occults

Does Ouija boards, spawning ghosts

Trying to find whether they’re ‘spiritually gifted’ or not

Gems will give them boosts and might give them interactions to heal sims with particular gems?

Hunt for UFO’s

Trying to feel the room for ‘paranormal energy’.

Health:

Goes into check ups regularly

Will want to go do fitness regularly 

Aaand that’s that really :p... Might merge this with ‘sports’

Travel: 

Honestly was thinking of merging this with Culture.

Crime:

Steal all the things!...

Or return all the stolen things from other sim!

Wants to talk to the police whether everything is going well

Wants to talk to criminals to figure out how ‘the business is going’

Help the criminals to dig a hole? :p

I honestly don’t know

Sports:

Host sports watching parties!

Wants to visit the games/watch the games on tv

Going to the gym is the best thing ever for them

Show off muscles to sims

Motivate people to participate in sports

Read sports news

playing sports with VR goggles

Train at random places

Buying a smart watch (like a fitbit) and will see the stats of a sim’s fitness routine in a nice UI Screen :)

Honestly, more ‘at home’ gym related workouts.

Entertainment:

Will want a subscription to be able to watch movies at home (because c’mon EA :p)

Loving to go to the theater! :)

Might want to take drama classes?

Will love to browse the internet about their favourite characters/movies

Animals:

Wants to show cute videos of animals

Might want to consider veganism?

Enjoys doing pet related activities

Bird watching

Penguin ts2 comeback :p

Feed the pigeons

In-home dog/cat trainer? Or where you’re like a ‘cat/dog’ whisperer :)

Work:

Nooo idea

School:

Also nooo idea :p

Toys: 

Same for that one 

Sci-Fi:

Research rockets

Research robots/AIs

Try summoning UFO’s (maybe even a UFO party where everyone is trying this?)

Can put on aluminum hats 

Meeting an alien is the best thing ever for them

Interactions for all:

Talk about interest...

Read section in newspaper...