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m3gahet · 7 months
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11, murdertooth
Once again not even remotely edited. Murderface is fun to write but he's also the easiest for me to write...what does that say about me.
11. Write about your otp waking up together + murdertooth 
He wakes up with Toki's hair in his mouth again. 
“God fucking-” He grumbles as he lamely attempts to remove the strands now stuck by his own drool. It's fucking gross. “Toki, move.” He orders in a groan, attempting to shove down the other's shoulders. Toki's muscular arms just squeeze him tighter, refusing to move with a soft whine. 
This always happens when Toki spends the night. It's bad enough how fucking gay it all is, two dudes sharing a bed, but on top of that Toki, the brat he is, insists he get to sleep on Murderface's chests and look where he ends up? 
Hair in his goddamn mouth. 
“Toki, I swear to god-” he warns this time earning a high pitched “no” rather than another whine. If he wasn't so tired he would have tried harder - 
But then Toki presses a soft kiss to his chest, and he can feel calloused thumbs rub circles into his side's. 
“Five mores minutes?” 
His voice is soft as he just barely lifts his head from Murderface's chest to pout. 
This.mother.fucker. 
“Fine! Fine! Fucking whatever.” He buckles and he can feel Toki's smug smile against his skin. 
“Thank yous, William.” 
“What fucking ever.” He growls but his hands decide to tangle in Toki's hair and his heart quickens at the others hum of approval. 
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reaxlette · 3 months
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He’s not sure if he’s impressed or disgusted…
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teabagboy · 1 year
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I'd make some joke about s5 spoilers but i think ill just smash my head into the wall instead
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sakihime02 · 9 months
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“Caught Red Handed”🎉
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Sup ( ̄▽ ̄)ノ ┌╏ º □ º ╏┐ WTF
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avrizl · 7 months
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sometimes i wonder when you sleep,
are you ever dreaming of me?
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- mike schmidt x fem!reader
- smut, dom!mike sub!reader
- you’re abby’s babysitter and you have feelings for mike, but he doesn’t know it
- authors note ; this is something short to hold you guys off as i’m writing something big that will most likely have multiple parts ( wink wink )
- word count ; 3.3k
- mentions ; there is a slight age gap ( 20 & 23 )
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it was a late friday night as the wind was blowing and the stars were shining in the sky. you hear a jingle at the door and you know it’s mike coming home from the pizzeria again. you could tell he hated working the night shifts, and hated that he had to make you stay all night so you could watch abby.
he opens the door and hangs his coat on the door and kicks his steel toe work boots off exhaustedly. he throws his keys and wallet on the kitchen table and immediately slouches into the arm chair directly across from you laying on the couch. he asks, “did you sleep at all?” you look back at him, “kind of.. i’m not the greatest with falling asleep either way.” he throws his head back slightly in annoyance with himself because he feels like a burden keeping you here.
you direct your focus towards the kitchen, “i made dinner, there’s leftovers in a blue tupperware in the fridge if you want any. abby’s asleep and she ate dinner tonight.” mikes eyes soften at your gesture, “thank you, that means a lot and i’m glad she ate dinner.. what did you do to get her to eat?” he laughs. you respond, “i made spaghetti, you told me it’s one of her favorites..” you smile as you say this wrapped in a blanket now sitting up.
you stand up saying, “i guess i should start going-“ mike stands up with you in unison, “you don’t have to go.. you could stay if you like, abby likes when you’re here y’know?” you smile at his words, “that’s very sweet of you, but i wouldn’t want to be a bother and i have some things to tend to..” mike responds with a slight frown and dissapointment in his voice, “that’s alright i understand..” you say to him, “you need me to come over same time tomorrow?” mike answers, “same time tomorrow.” with a heartwarming smile. you never realized how cute of a smile he had until now. you gather your things and toss on your coat and beat up sneakers as you walk out the door.
mike heats up the dinner you made and happily enjoys it. he always loves when you make him dinner or lunch. he watches you pull out of the driveway and drive home. he starts to clean up after his meal and he then goes to check on abby, and she’s sound asleep. he thinks you’re an angel sent from heaven because she never eats dinner or goes to sleep under his authority. he thanks you every day for helping with her.
it’s the next morning and you wake up around 8:00 am, your alarm is blaring in your ear as you groggily rub your eyes and slap your clock a few times before it stops. you get ready to get some things done. you lace up your running shoes and zip up your windbreaker and tie your hair into a tight ponytail. as you’re on your run, you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket and you check to see what it was, it’s mike.
you read the message and it says, “abby’s going to be sleeping over a friends tonight, you don’t need to come anymore.” you frown at the text, wishing you could still go so you could see mike. you respond with, “aw okay, i was looking forward to see you guys :(“ you then slide your phone back into your pocket and finish up your run. when you walk into your house, you check your phone once again to see a text from mike, “would you like to go do something.. like go out to dinner?” you jump around your living room and screech as you toss your phone onto the couch. you collect yourself and respond, “i would love to :)”
you start to get ready for dinner, even though you’re claiming it as a date. you take an everything shower and scrub your body with your signature scent until that’s the only thing you smell. as you step out of the shower you start your skincare and haircare. your face is covered in suds while your hair soaks up the mask you put in it. you dry off and wear your cutest set of underwear. it’s a black lacy bra with matching underwear that has colorful flowers on it. you rummage through your closet to find out what to wear and your eyes land on this scandalous black dress. it’s a halter that’s mid thigh length, covered in glitter, and very form fitting.
you text mike, “are you picking me up? if so what time?” he responds almost immediately, “yeah, i’ll be there in a half hour alright?” “sounds good to me :)” you start your makeup and you turn on your record player to get you hyped up for dinner. it’s the 1989 taylor’s version vinyl, it’s your favorite. the song suburban legends comes on and you are singing your heart out as you dust your face with blush and highlighter and before you know it, mikes in your driveway honking to say he’s here. you slip on your black heels and fix your hair quick and grab your clutch and walk out the door. you step into his car and he just stares at you, you respond? “what?” while chuckling. he just stares at you for a little bit longer, “i uh- you just look beautiful..” your cheeks are adorned with blush as you smile and look away. “you clean up nice too mike.” he replies, “thanks..” with a chuckle.
you guys drive to the spot you’re having dinner at and you think it’s amazing. it’s this high end restaurant on the west side of town and it’s known for its amazing food & drinks. the two of you take your seats and start to look at the menu. your server directs you to the alcoholic beverages, even though you’re not of age. you think to yourself, what they don’t know won’t hurt them but just in case you order a diet coke and mike orders wine. he laughs and looks over to you, “you thought about getting something right?” you smile, “yeah.. kidding! i’m only kidding” he laughs back at you, “you know i dont care right? i mean well.. it’s not the smartest idea but who cares.. teenagers always do dumb stuff, anyways what are you getting to eat?” you skim the menu, “i don’t know.. i’ve never been here and there’s so much to choose from!” your eyes are caught at the sight of seafood pasta. you ask mike, “what are you gonna get?” he thinks, “i don’t know either.. i’m indecisive.. maybe i’ll get the steak, you think that sounds good?” you reply awkwardly, “well um- i don’t eat beef.. so i would disagree..” he awkwardly replies, “oh sorry, i didn’t know” you say, “there’s no need to be sorry..” you both chuckle.
fast forward after dinner..
you’re in his car with the light on the radio turned down so you can hear each other, “tonight was amazing.. thank you for taking me out.” you say pushing your hair behind your ear smiling. “it’s no problem, i had a great time tonight too.” your mind is racing as you think of something to ask him and he can tell. “what’s got you so worked up?” your clammy hands fidget with your rings “i uhm- uh..-“ he questions, “hey are you alright?” as he places a reassuring hand on your knee moving his thumb back and forth. you look up from your hands and look into his beautiful hazel eyes, and he smiles at you with them. you smile back and mike continues, “you wanna head inside?” you nod in response. “alright cmon.”
he takes the keys out of the ignition and comes around to your door to open it and lead you out by holding your hand. you take your keys and press it into the lock and turn. as soon as you get into your house you kick off your heals to put your aching feet at ease and you throw your clutch and keys onto your table. mike responds with unlacing his dress shoes and placing them near the door and hanging up his coat. “i forgot how nice of a home you have, it’s very cozy and welcoming.” you sigh as you sit down on the couch, “thank you mike..” he sits down next to you on the couch leaning back and slightly man- spreading placing his hands on each of his knees. you stand up and your dress being unbelievably short, mike stares. you walk over to the kitchen to grab a glass of water and you ask, “you need anything? water? a snack?” you guys have been out and about all around town after dinner and you are both exhausted. “a glass of water would be nice, thank you.” you bring his glass of water and slightly bend down to place it on the coffee table, and this dress isn’t anything short of revealing. mike glances quickly at your cleavage but looks away even quicker. you notice this and you cock an eyebrow at him and he immediately becomes red. you sit back down next to him and make small talk as you sip your water. “how has abby been recently, like with therapy?” “she’s been doing good, she likes her therapist so that’s good..” “i’m glad mike.. i’m happy she’s doing good.” you go to get up once more and he follows you and grabs your wrist, “wait where are you going?” the look in his eyes captivates you, “i’m just going to get changed, i’ll be quick i promise.” you give him a reassuring smile.
you come back to the living room in short pj shorts and a big t-shirt that hangs off of your shoulder. he stares at you in awe. “has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?” he says with a light shake in his voice. “wh-what? what did you say?” he answers, “you heard what i said. has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are? you’re so perfect y/n.. the way your hair just always perfectly falls to frame your face.. your beautiful eyes.. your perfect body..” this makes you blush like crazy, and he sees your face painted maroon. he turns to you and smiles, “i know how you feel about me, and i feel the same way. ever since you started babysitting abby.” you stutter at his words, “mike.. you really feel the same way i do?” his eyes dart around the room looking for words to say, "yes, why would i say it if i didn't?" your cheeks are immediately a rosey shade after he said this. mike starts to lean in closer, and he does the thing you've been dreaming of, he kisses you. you melt into his lips and his hands move to the small of your back and he pulls your closer. you don't believe this is actually happening, wondering if its all some sick dream your mind put on to torture you. you both pull away from the kiss staring at each other with stars in your eyes.
mike cups your face in his big calloused hands, "you're a really good kisser.." he chuckles out. you giggle and look away in response. he pulls your face to look at him, "you're a really special girl y'know that right?" he kisses you once more and your stomach is flipping and twisting in every possible way. his lips are pure bliss. he then suddenly grabs you by the waist and throws you over his shoulder. you're surprised at his quick movements and strength, and its addictive. you protest by flailing around and hitting his back, but not hard enough to cause pain. you guys reach your bedroom and he flops you down onto your bed. he is now hovering over you with a smirk on his face with some kind of bad intent. his hands dart to your sides and he starts tickling you and you squirm and start yelling and laughing, "mike! stop i-it! i literally think i'm gonna die!" your giggles and pleads fill the room. he finally stops about after 5 minutes and your chest is heaving up and down desperate for a deep breath of air.
he creeps close to your ear, whispering, "the outfit you wore out to dinner made you look so good, made me want to find out what was underneath." mike plants a kiss on your neck and you shudder at this as you feel his hot breath on your neck. "mi-ke.." you plead as you feel him slowly slip off your large t-shirt. this reveals a black lacy bra underneath, "all for me hm? you wore this because you knew you were going to get ruined by me?" you whimper at his seductive words. his hands are all over your body, and his mouth is finding any place he can leave a mark on. you're squirming around at his delicate yet desperate touch. he whines, "fuck.. your body is so beyond perfect, it's even better than i imagined.." he's basically drooling at this point. his kisses trail down to your lower stomach and he looks up at you with begging eyes, this makes you want him even more. his hands are on your hips and your hands are in his hair. he kisses along your inner thighs but stops, and you're baffled. "wa-wait please don't stop." mike is now level with your cunt and he says, "i want you to beg for it. if you want me so bad you can beg for it." you moan at his words, "pl-please mike.. i'll be good i promise. need you so bad.." you babble out. "if you're such a good girl, on your knees." you comply almost immediately. you start to undo his belt buckle and he grabs you chin so your vision is directed towards him. "i didn't tell you what to do, did i? that's what i thought." you want him so badly you're aching for him, and his touch.
you hair is bunched up into a makeshift ponytail as you're bobbing up and down on him and slightly gagging, but only when you take all of him into your mouth. he's groaning and tipping his head backwards as he whispers out curses and praises, "oh my- fuhhckkk.. you feel so good, taking me so well." it's not long before he's telling you he's close. as he says this, you take him fully one last time and this sends him over the edge, causing him to release in your mouth. he strokes you face lovingly looking down at you shuddering, "you're such a good girl, my good girl.." as he wipes spit away from the corner of your mouth. as you take time to collect yourself after what just happened, he's gently stroking your hair. he's so unbelievably sweet and caring. he's always been like this, ever since you two first met. as you're calmed down he asks, "you alright?" with a darling smile, "yes i'm alright, thank you for being so considerate." he plants a kiss on your forehead and wraps his arms around you tightly, squeezing you in the tightest hug you've ever had. you giggle as you roll around on your bed.
now he's hovering over you and whispers, "now it's my turn to make you feel good." his hand moves past the waistband of your dangerously short shorts and he rubs slow circles around your bud. you moan at his touch, "mike.. please don't stop" he abides to your words and his hands feel like heaven on your heated cunt. he then fully removes your shorts and sees you have matching panties to your bra, "oh so you really wanted me to sleep with me? you want me inside of you that badly?" you whimper out, "yes mike.. i want you so bad i'm so desperate for you.." your words drive him insane and he takes off your panties and throws them with the rest of your clothes on your carpeted floor. your slick cunt the is all he sees and he's lost his mind. "you're already this wet for me? you're such a slut, but you're all mine." you stutter out, "i'm all yours, nobody elses." your words make him feel like he's in total control of you, which he is. he slowly starts to slowly slide himself into you and your breath hitches at the sensation of him. he asks, "you okay? is this comfortable?" you nod because you know you wouldn't be able to form words with him inside of you. he slowly moves in and out of your tight walls as they contract against him, causing him to groan in pleasure. his movements speed up and your voices grow even louder. "mike-.. oh my god please don't stop, m' so close.." he never thought about stopping once. his fingers dig into your sides inevitable to leave dark purple marks the following morning. his movements get even sloppier and faster, "m' close too baby.. just keep taking me like the good girl you are.." your walls tighten around him one last time before all you feel is complete ecstasy. your head goes back into the pillows as your gripping onto anything you possibly can as you moan louder than you ever have. he keeps going overstimulating you and a few pumps later, he finishes inside you panting into the crook of your neck.
he runs to the bathroom quick to get you a warm washcloth to clean up and as he comes back with the washcloth, he picks out clean clothes from your dresser. you clean yourself and then change into the clothes he offers. he cleaned himself up in the bathroom, but he still has nothing on. you question, "do you need something to wear? i have that change of clothes you left here in case of anything remember?" he nods and you get up and rummage through your drawers to find them, and you finally do handing him the neatly folded stack of clothes. he changes into them and flops down face first onto your pillowy soft bed. you laugh and sit down next to him stroking his hair, "you did so good babes, i'm so proud of you.." your hand moves down to his back to rub it and lightly scratch it with your nails. "you also did amazing baby, you make me feel so good.." he sits up and moves over to you to give you a kiss. you're lost in the moment not being able to think of anything else but his lips attached to yours. you pull away from the kiss. "i love you mike." "i love you too y/n, so much." you get up and stretch, "do you need anything to eat or drink?" he shakes his head no but you head to the kitchen anyways.
you walk back into your room and you see mike just looking around, "i never really took in your room before, it's really cute and it matches your personality.. and who's this blonde girl on all these posters?" you reply shocked, "taylor swift obviously! she's the best!" mike responds, "oh yeah her, her music's alright i guess.." "you GUESS?!" you both start laughing as you set down 2 glasses water on your nightstand with a bag of chips and sweets. "you wanna head to bed?" mike asks. you answer, "sure, i am pretty tired." you crawl under your mound of blankets and mike follows. you slowly wrap your arms around his torso and bury your head into his chest and he wraps around you in return. you both slowly drift off to sleep.
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tags - @silversword7000
authors note - thank you all for the support i've been receiving over the week! i'm greatful for all the likes and reblogs it makes me so happy you guys enjoy my work <33 much love to you all.
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thefloatingstone · 1 year
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Listen I TRIED ok?
But I just can't with Ashley's constant negativity and criticism laced with blatant racism. Kaidan isn't that bad but it's a little painful hearing his bland musings on things when I can have Garrus give me the gossip on who he suspects is bribing the cops and Wrex being Wrex.
Garrus is so fucking skinny in his C-Sec uniform jfc
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yamiisart · 2 years
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“sorry i was too busy staring at ur face- i mean staring off into space!”
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kate-bot · 1 month
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COMMISSION FOR @strawcherrysorbet !!! The prompt was "photobooth / polaroid'!!! I had so much fun doing this, thank you so much for commissioning me!! :DD
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is-the-owl-video-cute · 10 months
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So anyway you repeatedly say we only feel corn husks and similar inedible parts to cattle but Never add a source to back it up. Having worked on farms I’m afraid for the most part the feeds I’ve seen have been parts entirely edible to humans. And like fuck man 5% of all grown soy is fed to humans or however the stat goes, do you really think the remaining 95% is inedible? really?
Anyway yeah I’m asking for a source here cause I don’t want to add this on to months old post
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Ingredients such as “grain by-products” are referring to the husks, stalks, and other “green” parts of the plant that we humans don’t actually have the digestive capabilities to eat. The breakdown of most livestock feeds looks like the above when you actually take a look at it.
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Different cattle feed, similar ingredients. Still primarily things that, and I have to stress this, you cannot eat. This one is slightly higher in quality and does indeed have actual grain products included. Some of those are edible to humans. Some are not. Generally cattle are fed cattle cubes with supplemental mineral licks and hay. Some also supplement with whole corn, but I can gladly assure you that corn is not in short supply and even if all the corn sold to animal feed was donated to the poor, you can’t actually live off of corn because there’s very little nutrition in it. Hence why in both human and animal food it’s typically seen as a filler ingredient. Keeps the mouth busy with a meal without making your stomach feel full and you end up eating more without feeling satisfied.
Soybeans are really only often used in feed for pigs because they’re a great source of protein for these animals. I would state that soy is also a terrible option to use as an emergency food for humans in need because while, yes, it is indeed a healthy bean, it’s also one of the top eight foods that humans are frequently allergic or intolerant towards. I’d also ask you for whether your 5% of all grown soy statistic is referring to the beans or the entire plant because yeah the beans are the edible part. The rest of the plant isn't especially healthy for humans to eat. I would say the beans are around 5% of a mature soy plant sure.
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corvus-detritus · 8 months
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I literally love shapes and colors so much, man. Also Zooble. I literally love Zooble so much, man.
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raydfil · 10 months
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watched the ENTIRETY of the show while drawing this.
Veronica.exe has stopped working
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phatcatphergus · 4 months
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Okay, this is really fucking specific, but back when i was younger in Florida, my family would always go to the flea market and this flea market would let you feed the alligators for like $5 for 3 pieces of meat.
The meat, which was like cut up hotdogs, would be attached to these hella long wooden poles with fishing wire tied to it with a regular hook that you attached the meat onto.
And you’d just stand there, feeding the alligators, with a pole that was 4 times your size with your dad just helping you hold the pole.
Now imagine that, but the alligators are chocobos and its Sunny and Tubbo feeding rabbit and horse meat to the chocobos.
At one point, the capture some poor worker and Tubbo just lowers them into the Chocobo pit.
You are actually so real for that they would so do that
The Feds actually send a tax bunny and tubbo knocks him upside the head only for the bunny to wake up tied up and being used as bait to teach tubbos daughter how to “fish”.
Tubbo and Sunny on the edge of the pit, Tubbo standing behind sunny and teaching her how to properly lower the line and that she has to be patient to get a catch. He’s holding onto the poll behind her and complimenting her hand placement, meanwhile the bunny is losing his SHIT as the line gets lower and lower into the pit.
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the-nation-of-today · 5 months
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Hi hello can anyone FUCKING HEAR ME
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clownandout · 9 months
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turkwriter · 8 months
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Jews when their friends, both IRL and online, didn't check in on them or express sympathy in any way on 10/07: Huh.
Jews when their friends, both IRL and online, went out and celebrated in the streets on 10/08: Huh!
Jews when their friends, both IRL and online, are now posting stuff from/about INN and JVP, going "Look how good THESE Jews are!": H U H !!!
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nota1eks · 9 months
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incorrect PHM twitter part 2 REAL??
you ever just exist in chemistry class then decide to plan phm stuff in your head instead of paying attention? me too
as always, if you want more, let me know. i'll bake y'all up some more
(if there's any weird time differences, forgive me!! i'm bad at reading HTML & worse at double-checking)
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