#feel free to ask me story or writing questions!

[jellys-compendium]

Welcome Home

A Dad!Vash Father's Day Special

Rating: T

Summary: Vash's adult children have left the nest, each pursuing their own hopes and dreams in the treacherous landscape of No Man's Land. Being the only one left at the ranch, there are some days where Vash feels lonely--but he finds solace in his children's visits and the memories of you. Wc: 3.3K Cw: mentions of reader's death, depictions of grief and loss, familial hurt/comfort with a bittersweet/happy ending (A/n below the cut cause it's a long one)

Prefer to read on AO3?

A/n: Sorry this took a little bit longer than expected I had to stop and cry a few times. This oneshot is based on my Trimax series so it will be a little confusing to those who haven't read those fics (or Trimax), but I hope it's still enjoyable as a little standalone piece. There is quite a time jump in this fic with some implications about what happened to Vash and his family after Resurrection. I still hope to write out the third part of the series that covers this period of time, but it may take me a while. I'll do my absolute best to keep going until I feel this series is complete. Thank you so much to the people who've been so kind and sent me words of encouragement. It really helps motivate me to keep going. If anyone has questions about the story you're welcome to ask.

(***)

With a twist of his wrist, the hiss of running water fills the once silent bathroom. The groggy ex-legendary gunman groans as he rubs the sleep out of his eyes, blinking away the murky fog obscuring his vision. Vash had just woken up moments ago from his dreamless sleep and instead of lounging on the lonely mattress for a while longer, he resolved to stumble his way into the bathroom and start his day instead.

Slowly, Vash’s drowsiness dissipates, freeing his brain to cue him to cup some of the cold, running water in his right hand. The tips of his fingers tingle at the abrupt change of temperature. Once Vash has collected enough, he leans down and with the slightest grimace, splashes the water on his face. His breath stalls at the arctic shock, cool rivers rushing down his cheeks and dripping off his chin as the water washes away with finality the sleep of the night before. 

A couple more cool splashes later, Vash exhales a tired sigh and stands at his full height. He turns off the tap with another twist of his wrist before straining for the towel sitting on the self to his left. An inconvenience for him to be sure given his lack of a left arm, but it sits in the spot where you used to put it, and Vash could never muster the courage to change it. 

Once dry, Vash pauses and stares at his reflection in the mirror. It’s still a shock to the system. He’s changed more in the last thirty years than he ever has in the last two hundred. His once black hair is now more salt than it is pepper, his skin once only marred by scars is now decorated with lines and sunspots from the blistering sunlight. His flesh no longer holds that youthful suppleness, now looser and less rosy. The corner of his eyes is now permanently etched, wrinkled from the years of smiles and laughter he shared with you and the children.

Vash had never thought he’d see the day when he’d look into the mirror and see an old man staring back, and yet here he is. 

In his silent appraisal, Vash reaches up and traps a strand of a grey hair between his thumb and forefinger, twirling the dry, straw-like lock between the pads of his fingers. 

 He remembers the first silver hair you had found on his head all those years ago, and how excitedly you’d plucked it from his crown and showed it to him.

“Look honey, we’re finally starting to match!”

The hair on your head had been fully grey by that point, and despite your insistence to the contrary, you’d never been more beautiful in Vash’s eyes. As he helplessly watched you get older, Vash had resolved to treasure every moment he had with you. He insisted, pleaded, that the two of you promise to live life to the fullest each and every day, knowing that it wouldn’t be long before the cruelness of time ran its natural course.

“Oh, Vash. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I don’t want to leave you. I wish I could stay longer. I love you…I love you…”

Vash’s hand drops, his vision clouding with saline tears as the last memory of you resurfaces along with all the pain and longing it carried.

I miss you. I miss you so much…

Vash forces in a trembling breath, fighting against the tightness constricting his lungs, suffocating him. No matter how many years have passed since your death, the agony of that day still lingers.

“We finally match now, mayfly.” Vash’s voice is barely above a whisper. “I wish you could see me now, you probably wouldn’t even recognize me.”

“Silly, I’d never forget that handsome face.”

Vash finishes up his morning bathroom routine, occupying his mind by reviewing his mental checklist of today’s tasks while listening to the morning chuffs and calls of the toma outside. 

The seasoned plant makes his way back into the bedroom, opening the closet door and rummaging a bit, pointedly ignoring your unraveling, dusty clothing that hangs and sways in the back like ghosts. Vash swallows the tight knot in his throat and pulls out his clothing for the day, setting it on the bed so as to free up his single hand to remove his sweatpants. 

As he dresses, Vash’s eyes wander, inevitably falling upon the most treasured item he possesses. A dustless, framed photo he keeps on his nightstand. It’s an old family picture taken graciously by a stranger who no doubt has long since passed. The photo depicts you, Vash, and your four children at the town’s yearly fair. 

To most, it’s just a quaint photo of a happy little family. But to Vash, what is encased in that little wood and glass box is more precious than all the wealth in No Man’s Land and beyond. It’s a happy and precious memory, an echo of a time when all the pieces of his world had been slotted perfectly into place. It’s the last thing he sees when he goes to sleep, and the first thing he looks at when he wakes up.

Vash has memorized every detail of the photo. He knows every color, every shade and line, and how he felt on the day it was taken. He’ll never grow tired of looking at it.

In the picture, you and Vash stand side by side, both of you beaming with one twin resting in each of your arms. Nico is perched high on Vash’s shoulders, his tiny fingers threading through his father’s long, black hair as he musters a shy little smile. Nico’s adorable little face looked so much like yours back then.

Nova on the other hand stands confidently between the two of you, her feet wide apart in a power stance with one hand on her hip while the other is extended forward, her middle finger looped cheekily behind her index finger in a sign Vash had taught her. The huge gap toothed smile stretched between her cheeks is one of pure joy as she’s captured in her essence entirely.

“Love and peace!”

Vash smiles, eyes burning hot as the bittersweetness of that joyful memory swells in his heart. Not a day goes by that he doesn’t miss you terribly, but the thought of never having met you at all, of never taking your hand and seeing what life had in store for the two of you, of never having taken that photo…that thought is an even more painful one to bear.

With his clothes now on, Vash makes his way towards the nightstand and reaches out to the photograph, his longing fingers brush along the fuzzy lines of your face enshrined behind the glass. 

He remembers.

The first time you smiled at him, and the last.

The first time you kissed him, and the last.

The first time you told him you loved him, and the last.

The first time you entwined your fingers with his…and the last.

Vash’s body tenses, his breath stalling at the haunting memory of your hand becoming cold in his. He swallows against the sob clawing at the back of his throat. His chest heaves as he gasps for breath, throat tightening and becoming painfully raw with the memories that tip and pour down from his mind and pool at the bottom of his heart.

I miss you. Oh, mayfly, I miss you…

But as Vash lets go, allowing his tears to fall as his grief resurges and washes over him, his blue eyes refocus on the faces of your children. Nova’s nose, Nico’s eyes, cheeks, chin, and shy little smile…the twins’ ears….

Vash’s fingers brush along the faces of his children. Fifty years have come and gone since you’d passed, but you’re still here, aren’t you? Living on through them and living through him. You’d never really left and as long as he’s here, you never truly will.

Everyday, Vash sees you in the home you’d helped him build, feels your presence in the sunset over the horizon of the land, hears your voice in the gentle zephyr that blows over the sand. And even though he can’t hold you anymore, or kiss your lips, or dance with you, or laugh at your jokes, everything that has ever mattered to him came from the life the two of you had built together.

And Vash will go on, cherishing every single day, every single second of it all, until the time finally comes when he can see you again.

Sniffling and finding solace at that thought, Vash wipes his tears away.

“Mayfly, you’d be so proud of them.”

Breathing out a cathartic sigh, Vash is about to head into the kitchen for breakfast when a distinct knock sounds from the front door. It’s melodic and jovial. It’s a sound that Vash would recognize anywhere.

“Special delivery for Mr. Stampede!”

Vash beams, his heart hammering as not unlike a flower, boundless joy blooms in his chest. It lifts his sorrow and lightens his step as he makes a beeline for the front door.

Vash can hardly wait, can barely respond to that cheerful voice beyond the door as his words topple over one another on his tongue. In a flash Vash makes it to his front door and opens it to reveal a face he hadn’t seen in months. That sweet little face that over the years had paradoxically changed so much and yet so little.

“Good morning papa!” Nova smiles, presenting Vash with a big white box secured expertly with a sparkling red bow. “Happy Father’s Day! I brought you a treat to celebrate.”

Vash’s radiant smile matches his daughter’s as he rushes over and pulls her into a huge, single armed, bear hug.

“Sheesh, almost a century old and you still call me papa?” Vash teases, squeezing her and swaying his now not so little star back and forth until she laughs, tapping out from his exuberant affection with a gentle swat to his back.

Vash releases Nova the moment she gives him the signal, grinning from ear to ear as he plants a big kiss on her head and takes the box of doughnuts from her.

“Welcome home, Nova.”

“Thanks, it feels good to be home.” Nova laughs, adjusting her travel bag across her shoulder. “And I’ll have you know it doesn’t matter how old I get, you’ll always be our papa. Besides, it would break your heart if we started to call you anything else.”

Vash unabashedly hums his agreement, placing his gift upon the porch’s little table before sitting on the patio swing and patting the space beside him so that Nova can take a seat. 

Putting down her travel bag—the very same that Vash used when he wandered No Man’s Land himself—Nova takes a seat beside her father, her sky blue eyes examining him as she makes herself comfortable.

“You’ve gotten smaller. Not by much, but still….”

Despite the tinge of worry in his daughter’s voice, Vash can’t seem to wipe the smile off his face. Not meaning to be dismissive but adamant to avoid his daughter to worry, Vash shrugs and tries to reassure her.

“I’m fine Nova, you don’t need to worry about me. I’m just happy to see you.”

Nova is still and Vash watches as she calmly and perceptively examines him. Vash’s smile widens under her scrutiny and Nova sighs, her hand coming to rest on her father’s knuckles. Vash remembers when it used to fit in the palm of his hand.

“I’m happy to see you too,” Nova says softly. “Have you been eating enough? I’m planning to stay for a few weeks if that’s okay. I can whip us up some belly busters, help fill you out a bit more? I know you’re tough but it can be hard running a ranch all by yourself.”

Vash slips his hand out from under Nova’s and reaches up to ruffle her shoulder length hair. His daughter’s fretting comes full circle as Vash himself starts to feel his chest grow heavy with worry at the sight.

The once radiant, golden crown Nova possessed as a child is now marked with streaks of alarming black. Vash’s keen eye notices a few more obsidian stripes have been added since he’d last seen her. She’s been pushing herself hard, using the insurmountable energy that flows through her veins to achieve a goal many thought impossible.

But Vash knows his daughter—has been witness to the limitless expanse of her determination. If anyone could achieve the dream she had set forth to make a reality, it would be her.

…

With a little help from Knives too, no doubt.

The recollection of his twin brother’s hand in his daughter’s crusade makes Vash frown, tepid anger bubbling beneath his skin. Nova senses it immediately and plucks her father’s hand from her head before pinning him with a stern look.

“None of that. I know what you’re thinking.”

“So, what have your siblings been up to?” Vash abruptly sidetracks, very unsubtle in his changing of the subject. Nova sighs, mumbling complaints of his stubbornness under her tongue before she replies.

“Last I heard, Nico’s been busy at the New July Medical Center. I think he’s been spearheading some important medical research based on what I’ve read in the Bernardelli Times. As for the twins…well you know them.”

Vash chuckles and shakes his head at the thought of those two running rampant across the wasteland. Truly, humanoid typhoons in their own right.

“I know. You’d have an easier time pinning down the wind than those two.”

Nova laughs.

“Yeah.”

“How about you?” Vash gestures towards Nova’s travel bag. “How has your work been going?”

Instantly, Nova’s eyes are alight with excitement, her lips hardly able to contain her smile. Without so much as another word she reaches for her bag, ruffles through the contents, and then pulls out her lovingly used journal. She turns through the crinkled, yellow pages, proudly showing her father the work she’d done over the last few months.

“I’ve been busy documenting and cataloging the typography and climate of the planet. Ran a few experiments too. I feel like I’m getting closer to figuring out the key to terraforming No Man’s Land.”

Vash whistles with awe, gently taking the journal from his daughter's hands so he can better study her scribbled notes and schematics.

As Vash thumbs through the pages, the two of them sit in silence for a while. Nova’s dream and the methods by which she is pursuing it is an old point of contention between the two, but Vash has long since learned that in matters such as these, his daughter is not to be swayed. 

Vash is worried to death for her, but he knows that if he’s to be a good father, he’ll need to let her go her own way and support her on her path. He’d promised you that before you left.

Eventually, Nova’s soft sigh breaks the silence. She reaches over and closes the journal in her father’s hand.

“Papa, I know that you and uncle Knives don’t see eye to eye, and that you’re less than thrilled about everything he’s been teaching me, but he’s right that humans and plants can’t keep on going on like this if either of us are to survive.”

Vash’s lips press into a thin line, his gaze hard and unfaltering from Nova’s. Born with her father’s stubbornness and her mother’s perseverance, Nova doesn't falter either. Not an inch.

“The spider eats the butterfly, but what happens when the butterflies are all gone? I’m not choosing sides, I want to try and save them both.”

Vash’s eyes widen, holding his breath as a flash of an ancient memory from his childhood returns to him. The smell of grass, his foolish hope and her naive wisdom…he recognizes it. An echo from long ago. Nova smiles as she rests her warm and reassuring hand on her father’s.

“I think grandma Rem would want that.”

Vash’s bated breath explodes forth from his lungs, his heart pounding and mind swimming as the realization dawns on him that perhaps everything that’s happened has been for a reason. Each little event in his life had been connected by a paradoxical amalgamation of free will and fate—an enigmatic puzzle put together by some unseen force, piece by piece over centuries, perhaps even across a millennia. 

And it was all made possible because of that one little moment in the med bay over two hundred years ago.

"Even if you’re in the dark right now, the blank ticket in your hand is just waiting to be filled in. So…so don’t…don’t throw it all away! Don’t let go! Don’t say you’d rather die!”

Vash’s vision blurs. He feels lightheaded and dizzy as he covers his mouth, choking back tears as memories of Rem, of you and the children, of Wolfwood, Meryl and Milly, of Brad and Luida, of everyone he’d ever loved and cared for emerges like a bright light from the deep, dark recesses of his lonesome despair.

“Let’s see the world together, let’s walk through it together!”

Vash’s sobs are uncontrollable now, snot running down his nose as he doubles over and hides, pressing his forehead to his knees. He’d been lonely, so unbearably lonely, but the truth is that he had never truly been alone. Not now and not ever. He has his children, his friends, and the memories of the people he loves to keep him going.

Vash’s body shakes with each choked gasp, withstanding each surge of the love and loss he’d endured like a rock against the crashing waves. It renders him helpless yet humbled beneath its wondrous might.

“S–sorry, Nova. I’m sorry, I…”

But all the while, Nova sits quietly beside her father, rubbing his back comfortingly as all that grief and love and loss and that damned foolish hope that he'd never been able to extinguish pours out of him in waves. 

Slowly, with time, Vash’s sobs quiet down into soft gasps…then sniffles, and then eventually, silence. The sound of the desert wind is the only thing they can hear whistling through the support beams.

Vash doesn’t know how long they stay like that, but eventually, Nova gently taps his shoulder, the rhythm of her fingers a soothing balm to his soul.

“Papa, look who’s here!”

Vash sits up and follows his daughter’s pointed finger into the horizon. He stops when he sees three figures approach, their silhouettes unmistakable despite the glaring sun.

They’re here!

Elated, Vash immediately stands and descends down the porch’s steps. Two of the figures instantly spot his approach, and before Vash can blink, they burst into a blindly fast sprint towards him, both cheerfully shouting in unison.

“PAAAAPAAAA!! WE’RE HOOOME!!” 

The twins show their old father no mercy, both nearly tackling him to the dirt path with their smothering hugs. Nico is quick to join them, wrapping all three of them in his long, lithe arms.

“Careful you two, you’ll kill the old man.”

Vash’s laughter rings across the dunes as he holds his children close, the sound bouncing joyously as it mingles with the warm zephyr that surrounds them. Overjoyed, fresh tears swell in the proud father’s eyes in droves of unwavering happiness. They’re here, and you’re here. Everyone is here together—in his mind, in his soul, and in his heart.

Vash squeezes them all in the tightest hug he can muster, a testament to the depths of unending love a father has for his children.

“Welcome home.” Vash whispers.

dividers by @/saradika

[zepskies]

Hi!! Fanfic question here! So in Break Me Down, were you inspired by anything in particular that made you set a portion of the story in SB’s compound? I always thought that was an interesting choice as that setting felt like it was its own character and was pivotal for their relationship to develop. The isolation setting has always been a favorite of mine to get into character development and was curious what made you want to go there for this first half of the story? Apologies in advance for the nerdy writing question 😂

Hey, lovely friend!!

Omg I love it, please don't apologize. Nerdy writing questions are my favorites -- especially for Break Me Down! 💚💚

And your observations are so very interesting (and accurate)!!

I knew making South America the main setting was a bit risky in a sense. It takes readers out of the canon setting of New York, but I wanted a home base for Soldier Boy/Ben, assuming he defeated Homelander and was able to escape the U.S. -- a place for him to regroup, build himself back up, and do whatever he wanted, really.

And I knew I wanted a place where Ben and the reader would essentially be trapped together, like you said, isolated away from the rest of the Boys, thereby forced to either bond or kill each other. 😂 (That's also the reason I set the mansion on a cliffside/waterfall.)

Ben going South America seemed right, drawing narrative lines back to Nicaragua (sort of), where it all went to shit for him. I thought of Rio and Medellin being party destinations for a lot of celebrities, and that this guy would definitely be the type to have a party mansion back in his hay day. Like the Rat pack used to vacation in Cuba back in the '50s and '60s.

I listened to a lot of Frank Sinatra to get into Ben's headspace ("My Way" for instance lol), Tony Bennett, Mel Torme's "You're Getting to Be a Habit With Me," and of course, "If I Didn't Care." I also had scenes from Casablanca, with how they meet in the Prologue/Part 2 in my head, for sure.

Putting Ben and the reader in that first Spanish-style mansion also gave me the chance to explore both his character and the reader as individuals. How Ben felt as empty as that mansion, and the gradual nature of him realizing that.

And how the reader explores the house the same way she tries to figure out what makes him tick.

She also discovers places like the garden, where she finds comfort and peace; the same way she starts to find comfort in Ben, the more she risks confiding in him. They find common ground in the kitchen, often the center of a home, even if this house isn't a home for either of them...

Now that I think about it, I really found so much of them (and the side characters around them) in that house. So thank you so much for this question!! It really made me think. I hope I wasn't too long-winded though. 😂💕💕

[kedreeva]

OC Askbox Game

I'm avoiding writing and you probably are too, so let's at least think about our characters while we do it.

You know the drill- send me a number (ONE number, you can come back for more) and I'll answer for an OC of your choice (if you know their name) or my choice (if you don't know their name). Feel free to name some of your OCs in the tags of your reblog, if you want to be asked about them.

How did you choose their name?

Were they created for the story, or was the story created for them?

Do they have a love interest, and was that their choice or yours?

Do they have a best friend? If so, how did they meet? If not, have they ever/why never?

Did they have a pet as a child?

What catalyzed their introduction to the plot?

What attribute of them (some facet of their personality, their history, their look, or whatever etc) would you find most important to somehow preserve if they were transplanted to an AU fanfic?

If your character's financial situation were to suddenly flip (someone poor becoming rich, someone rich becoming poor, etc), how well would they handle it? What would be the first thing they would do?

If your character could have handed their role in the plot to someone else, would they have?

Free Space #1: Which of your OCs would be most likely to survive a zombie apocalypse? Which would die immediately?

Does your character have a pet peeve?

Has your character committed any crimes (per their universe's laws)? If not, which crime would your character most likely commit?

Who is your character's closest (by relation, fondness, or distance) blood relative?

How does your character feel about riding horses (or your world's closest approximation of a horse if it lacks horses)?

Is your character's first instinct fight or flight? Is there something that could force them to do the opposite?

What is your character's favorite leisure activity?

Is your character holding any grudges? Are they likely to stop?

If your character were trapped on a deserted island, what three things would they want to have with them? Which person would they absolutely hate to be trapped there with? Which person would they enjoy being trapped there with?

Does your character having any health issues, whether they're aware of them or not?

Free Space #2: Which of your OCs would you most like to meet in person, if they could become real (or you could visit them) for a day?

Final Question: Ask me your own question about my OC

Remember: play nice! Send an ask to the person you reblogged this from, and try to send a few to folks that reblog from you!

[alchemicaladarna]

Demon Royalty au part 1

This was supposed to be a simple vampire!Bagi/demon princess!Tina au but I got carried away while researching the nether biomes so here we are lmaoo

Ironmouse- Queen of the Underworld

Castle resides in the Nether Wastes region

Oversees all the Nether capitals/kingdoms/demon kind

And business concerning the Overworld's access to the Nether

Tina- Princess of the Seven Capital Vices

Castle resides in Warped Forest region

7 deadly sins reflect the Seven Capital Vices (regions) and are named: Avaritia, Luxuria, Invidia, Gula, Ira, Acedia, Vanagloria

Helps Mouse with matters concerning demon kind/the kingdom's subjects

Bad- Prince of Death (Grim Reaper)

Castle resides in the Soulsand Valley

Also has connections and access over ancient cities/deep dark

Mostly rules over matters concerning dead mortals/making sure souls pass properly

Bad's role is like Hades' in greek mythology basically

Yangdding- Highest ranking demon general

Main fortress resides in the Crimson Forests

Leads Mouse's armies

Has a lot of experience exploring the different biomes, fighting, and resolving conflicts between demons

Still a part of demon nobility but doesn't "rule" over anything, so no royal title

Basically a brief summary of how the Nether Kingdom works:

Demons are still looked down upon by many people from the Overworld, but that's mainly due to the many millenia of tyrannical demon rulers and the power they abused to instill fear into the people of the Overworld. Eventually, the Nether Kingdom became impoverished because of the corrupt governing, until IronMouse- a "lowly demon" stepped in to try to change things. A civil war ensued, but the rebellion led by Mouse, Bad, and Tina won and Mouse took the throne as the new Demon Queen.

She changed a lot of things including how long a ruler should stay in power, since technically, one crowned demon can rule forever. Mouse declared that demon rulers can stay in power for 1000 years maximum before they must eventually find a successor to take their place. Mouse's dynasty has just reached its 650th year when the story takes place. Ironmouse wants to establish peace with the people of the Overworld, and they mainly stay out of Overworld wars. That is, until the ancient conflict between demons and vampires arises and escalates once more...

I want to go over the vampires and Bagi's role, but I think that requires a separate post XD

[felizusnavidad]

"i don't think i'll ever understand musicals the way you do" is something i've heard from one of my friends a couple of days ago when i told him i'm about to cross the whole country just to see one of those (my favourite one!) live in theatre. and i can't blame him. if you'd have told me a year ago that i would do something like that, i'd probably have laughed in your face. life is so unpredictable. i guess i have changed a lot. and i could write thousands of essays about how musicals helped me get through the shittiest period of my life, but we are not going to talk about this today. today we are talking about in the heights, the first musical i got a chance to experience live in theatre, hopefully not last. so grab a cup of coffee and make yourself comfortable, this is going to be the longest essay you've ever seen, friends.

a little warning: spoilers. a lot of them actually. so if, by any chance, you haven't seen/heard it yet and you are going to, don't read it.

first thing i feel like i need to mention is that they had this mini bar inside the theatre and you could order a lot of different drinks there and one of them was called abuela's coffee. i heard one lady explaining to someone that it's actually coffee with condensed milk. my jaw dropped and i was like CAN I STAY HERE FOREVER, PLEASE? for those who don't understand why, here's a quote from the first song:

USNAVI: abuela, my fridge broke, i got café but no con leche ABUELA CLAUDIA: try my mother's old recipe: one can of condensed milk

so this was my first "OH! THEY GET IT!" moment (a little note here: i had a lot of oh, they get it moments, mostly because i don't have any people around me who understand musicals the way i do... honestly, you'd have to live inside my brain). that was the first time ever when i could actually be in the room where it happens with all those people who get it and care about it as much as i do (mostly actors and people responsible for the whole show tho, but we will get to this later).

let's get to the show. so when i finally went inside and i saw the stage, i already had tears in my eyes (don't judge me please). usnavi's store, abuela's door, daniela and carla's salon, all those puerto rican, cuban and dominican flags (one couple behind me was trying to figure out which one is which and it was funny because i knew and i wanted to scream)... listening and memorizing the whole soundtrack is one thing. being able to experience it all live is something else. all those things around me were so familiar and this was the first time in months (MONTHS! OR EVEN YEARS!) i felt really understood. after all, it was all like a little celebration of lin's story (the one i love with all my heart) and i truly felt like home. so that was another OH! THEY GET IT! moment.

i don't think i'm going to talk about every single song here, that's not the point. i will talk about my favourite moments, but also about things that didn't work very well in my opinion (again: this was a polish version so all the songs were translated into polish. and they did a really great job here, surprisingly. but it wasn't perfect, more about that later).

one thing you need to understand is that i will never be normal about musicals so of course i had to burst into tears at the very first song (i don't even know why, i think i was a little bit too excited). i was actually crying in the most random moments like when i first saw nina or at the end of carnaval del barrio because I KNEW WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT (who the hell cries at carnaval del barrio when everyone is having the time of their lives lol, me apparently).

ok, so the first song. the choreography, oh my god. it was everything. the translation was also pretty good here, i need to say this was probably one of my favourite moments. imagine me leaving today giggling like a child when usnavi came on that stage and started rapping, i was in heaven. also, i have to admit, the cast was amazing. i could never imagine anyone better for this role (and again, i am talking about polish actors because everyone knows who's the best usnavi of them all). he was cute and charming and awkward and so adorkable and also really handsome. he was actually perfect in my opinion.

i kinda lost my mind when i saw nina for the first time. first of all: i already knew who was going to play her and let's just say i fell in love with this actress before i even saw her live on that stage. this was important to me, because (as some of you know) nina rosario is my favourite character. and oh my god, she was an absolute perfection. what a voice, sweet jesus. i'm being serious, this girl is so talented, give her every award (i honestly hope i will have a chance to see her again one day, i'm just crazy about her). and breathe was so good! polish version was amazing, i was so scared they would screw it up, but they didn't, so all's good (this song is very important to me, ok?). also, she's a phenomenal actress, i could feel all her emotions for real. and of course i cried, what did you expect?

i don't have that much to say about benny, except that he was really cute and he had amazing chemistry with nina, so once again, the casting was really good. i mean, he is not chris jackson of course, but i have decided i'm not going to compare all those actors because everyone knows at this point how much i love OBC, i was trying to have an open mind. vanessa was also pretty great, amazing voice and her dancing skills, wow, just wow. i could talk about all those actors for days actually, but i'm not going to do that, so i will just quickly mention that i absolutely loved daniela and carla, abuela claudia made me cry, sonny was the funniest character in the whole play and i don't think i will ever recover after piragua guy's performance (i was the only person in the audience who was laughing when he came on that stage, they don't get it, ok? polish people have no sense of humour and that's a fact). actually, there were a lot of funny moments (obviously) and i was the only person who was laughing, god help me.

so let's get to the first thing that was a little disappointing for me. you will not believe it, but it was actually... 96,000 (this is one of my favourite songs and i seriously can't live like this). it's not the translation tho (it was honestly fine), it's the voice overlapping part at the end (again, the best thing ever, just listen to we don't talk about bruno from encanto and non-stop from hamilton and you will understand why it works so well in every lmm's song). the thing is, you could actually only hear vanessa's part and i wanted to die, because EXCUSE ME. i always sing usnavi's part and you could barely hear a word from it. but apart from that, the rest was fine, the choreography was amazing and it's just something i needed to mention because i had thoughts about it.

paciencia y fe! ok besties, i have thoughts, again. abuela claudia was absolutely incredible, also, her relationship with usnavi is something that you can't see in the movie version (they were so sweet i wanted to curl up and die. i knew about it before, i saw slime tutorial with obc on yt, ok? i'm pretty sure lin would be mad at me for watching bootlegs lol. i just wanted to say this). the translation didn't work out at the very end of the song tho, because when in the og version abuela sings about the "winning ticket", everyone knows already she won the lottery. i don't remember polish translation exactly, but it was something with double meaning, depends on how you interpret it, and i'm 100% sure people who didn't know the plot just didn't catch it. the rest of the song was absolutely beautiful tho.

when you're home. i was so afraid of this one, because i am totally crazy about this song (did i ever mention lin wrote this one after one of his first dates with vanessa? no? yes? ok i'll shut up about this now). oh, they did a really great job with it and it's a relief. i have nothing else to say, except that i was crying like a baby, but this song always makes me cry so what did you expect exactly? one of the best moments for sure. again, nina and benny's chemistry was absolutely incredible.

as much as i loved the club, i was actually really disappointed with one part, which is usnavi's famous "jealous i ain't jealous, i can take all these fellas, wHaTeVaaaaa". i've been waiting so long for this! and they messed it up with their stupid cringy translation which i don't even remember at the moment but usnavi was actually mad at benny and he cursed? ANYWAY. the rest of the song was great and the choreography was absolutely phenomenal, oh vanessa! let me get the next one! (i love her so much, she was amazing here). a little note from me: no one was laughing at the "no hablo ingles" part, NO ONE BUT ME!!! THEY DON'T GET IT! WTF! i was so mad (i am aware of the fact that most people probably didn't even know this story before and they just wanted to see a musical, not THE MUSICAL, which is totally fine. but sweet jesus, where is their sense of humour? they left it at home or what?).

and blackout was that part where the voice overlapping effect worked very well, so all's good. actually, one of the best moments for me as well. people were actually so confused when all the lights went down, but that was just so amazing. all the panic! everybody was screaming, crying! WE ARE POWERLESS! THE END OF ACT I!!! oh, i had the time of my life.

i had this weird feeling that they didn't exactly know how to translate most of hundreds of stories so they just made this song shorter than it actually is. which is fine i guess. honestly, it's better than bad translation, so i can forgive them. what i absolutely can't forgive tho is that the audience wasn't laughing at US NAVY. polish people, you have no fucking taste. i said what i said. and then again, usnavi and abuela's relationship was so sweet this song actually made me cry (mostly because i knew what was coming but also, i was just this weird girl who was sitting there in the second row and was crying at the most random moments).

ok, guys, honestly. carnaval del barrio was the best moment from the entire musical. oh, how much i want to experience it again! daniela was absolutely incredible, carla was so sweet, piragua guy stole the whole fucking show for me (seriously guys! he was just so amazing!). also, those little details i have never noticed before? i can't even tell if the same thing happened in the original version (the quality of that bootleg is actually terrible), but benny dancing with american flag somewhere in the background was so fucking funny and i don't think i will ever get over that part where at the end they were all still dancing and celebrating and nina and usnavi just ran away as fast as they could because... because you guys know what just happened. also, this is the moment i started crying.

i was so scared of it. let me tell you one thing, i experienced abuela's death at least fifty times and i still cry every single time. so atención is something i have to mention, because all the emotions and kevin's shaky voice made me burst into tears right away, and this time i wasn't the only one because i saw a lot of people crying when they realized what happened (i also heard a lot of OHs when he said abuela passed away, so yes, most of them didn't know this story and they were surprised). and alabanza was something else. believe me when i tell you i am writing this with tears in my eyes, i have never cried so much in public. this was the moment i was the most scared of and i was absolutely right because holy fuck. i was a mess. all the actors with those candles singing alabanza a doña claudia! (yes, they didn't translate it, all the spanish parts were left like in the original version and i am so grateful for that), it was just so sad and so beautiful. and this time i was actually like oh, they get it now (everyone was speechless and people were crying).

everyone must know at this point how much i adore champagne and i wasn't disappointed (thank god!). once again, usnavi was absolutely adorable here and people were actually laughing this time (also thank god!). how do you get this gold shit off? (my favourite line from the whole musical) was translated really well and the moment when usnavi and vanessa kissed! with all lights on them! this was so emotional and the audience reacted so well! we were all clapping (it was so funny to pretend like i didn't know it was gonna happen haha i was just as excited as all of them and once again i was like OH! THEY GET IT!). 10/10, would recommend.

if you think i wasn't crying during the last song, think again. one thing i absolutely hate about the movie version is that they actually changed the graffiti that made usnavi stay in washington heights, but i'm not gonna talk about that and i'm not gonna talk about vanessa also being there in the movie. in the original version it was a portrait of abuela claudia made by graffiti pete and oh boy, i lost my mind (i knew about it but i still lost my mind because it was absolutely beautiful). i got the feeling it was a little rushed in our polish version, but i can forgive them because it still made me cry. also, at the very end, usnavi did not only finally acknowledge he's home, when the song was over he pretty much told the audience that we are all home right now and may i just say... i felt that. i was home. they made me believe for the first time in my life i was where i belong, and somehow that was everything.

one thing about me is that this is actually all new to me. this was my first musical i saw live in theatre (and also lin's first child, which is exactly how it was supposed to be i think), and believe me when i tell you i've never had this much fun in my entire life, not even at all the concerts of my favourite artists. it was worth every money. it was worth spending 11 hours on the train and 11 more on my way back home, which by the way we should normalize (people are doing crazy things just to see their favourite artists on the stage and it's considered normal, so why can't we consider THIS normal?). anyway, i don't expect anyone around me to understand it the way i do, but i feel like i really found my thing, and it's all because of lin-manuel miranda, our beautiful puerto rican genius. he made me believe musicals can be cool and i truly wish i could thank him for that one day.

and like i said, in the heights is my favourite story with my favourite characters and i listened to it so many times i have memorized all the little details. experiencing it live is something completely different tho and i think it's safe to say this was the best night of my entire life. even tho most of the people in the audience didn't really get it, i finally felt like i was a part of this world created by my favourite genius and for the first time ever i felt understood. so i think i can say that now: i found my island, guys, i'm there, i'm home!

[moonshine-nightlight]

Any advice for writting longform stories like NWWD?

@honoikazuchis

thanks for this ask!

thats a pretty open ended question and my answer will inherently be relatively specific to me and the way i write, but i'm happy to share my advice!

I will link a few other posts where i answered some other writing asks:

worldbuilding [x] editing/exposition [x] writer's block/POV [x] plotting vs pantsing [x] how long does it take me to write stuff [x] my writing process [x] writing spicy scenes [x]

otherwise, see below for me rambling way too long about writing.

disclaimer: this is just my opinion and how i do things, obviously there's a lot of variety and nuance for everyone's writing process.

firstly, is that personally, i'm inclined to writing longform stories so thats a bit of a built in strength of mine. generally speaking my story ideas come with lots of lore (see above for my love of worldbuilding) and i like relationships that are deeper/longer, with slow burn being a favorite of mine (why basically all my short stories have the two people involved having met prior to the story starting). that being said, technically the main character in 'Nothing's Wrong with Dale' doesnt meet demon!Dale until the flashback of chapter 2 and why is part of why that story is so long/has a built in arranged marriage premise. Of my two potential long form stories i'm going to do next: one they already know each other (and are basically already in love just being pining idiots about it) or two the story takes place over several months/high stress situations and does not end with marriage etc. But thats more of a concern if you're writing romance.

in general, my advice for longform stories is to already have a relatively complete, high level view of the story when you start. some people can just improvise the entire story as they go--I cannot. i think its very helpful to know where ur story is going to end, more crucially when it is long and you'll be taking a while to get there. by this i primarily mean the setup for the story, then general ending, and vaguely what sort of metaphorical journey they take to get there. you do not need to know every scene and detail in the middle--and plot points/characters can and will evolve as you write and think more on everything--but having the broad brushstrokes figured out asap is critical, in my opinion.

I also, as a side note, don't set out with a story length in mind. i can generally get a good handle on how long a story will be by the idea and outline, but i dont try to make it long. if anything, i did try to challenge myself to write shorter stories, like my novellas, when i started this blog/posting original writing here. that was not only because i do tend to get very complicated/long original ideas, but also because i think it was important to me to actually finish some original work, which i had never done before.

shorter stories tend to have more straightforward plots. not that you can't boil down longer stories to simpler summaries, but generally longer story ideas have more stops along the way so to speak that come to me when i'm developing the idea because i want to cover more with the story. the main character in dale having had childhood illness, dale raised by his grandparents, there being tournament stuff and assassins stuff and uncomfortable parties and most importantly MC figuring out dale was a demon immediately and dale not knowing the MC knew that were all things i came up with (loosely) very soon after i started working on it.

which leads into my next piece of advice: write everything you brainstorm down - you will forget and you will remember there's something u've forgotten and it will annoy the hell out of you. write your notes, write your what ifs, write down possible character names, write down cool ideas for scenes--heck write some of the scenes up then, evn if its for chapter 24 of 35. dont save what ur most excited for as like a carrot on a stick, i find that it doesnt help and that having part of my story that i love existing already is a much better motivator to write the rest

i'm also a big outliner and planner. i think some people think what that means is that u should b able to write a plan once for a story and then never change or deviate from it--but no! change the plan as you go; scrap things that dont work out and add new ideas when they come to you. however, i do think having something down that covers the whole story, lets you get a good idea of the shape of the story, and reminds you of your end goal, are all incredibly helpful. i also keep multiple worldbuilding notes docs; character and location lists; picture inspiration; etc to support the longform idea

i think u also hav to hav confidence/delusion that you will in fact finished. i hav started multiple longform original writing ideas in the past. none of them are done except dale. and part of it was not taking some of my own advice up top, but i think i also just wasnt as committed? lik it'd get lost in worldbuilding, or writing other projects, or life happening (which is all absolutely fine) but dale was the first longform idea where i like, really believed i could write it all and where i was dedicated to putting in the time i'd need to finish it. i knew i would need to take breaks and it would take more than a year (which i did and it did) but i still believed i'd get to where i am now, with a finished draft which i think was really key.

also, practice, i've been writing for years and year; i've been reading for even longer; and i've been writing and posting fanfic for years as well. some of my longer fanfics were such good practice for how to plot a long story without having to generate all the lore myself and having guardrails on for the story/characters in general. aside from dale, my next five pieces of longest writing are all fanfic.

lastly, find at least one person you can talk to about your story. i really think that helped me stay excited and motivated about my longform story in particular. i of course like talking about shorter stories too, but i dont think i felt as compelled to keep talking about them during the process of writing them as i did for my longform stories (even my longer fanfics i talked with other ppl in the big bang about or other writers on discord). and i dont just mean posting the rough drafts as u go like i did, but friends, irl or online, that either are also writers or are just interested in what story you want to make. i think it helps make it more real to you, it gives you ways to talk through issues that come up, its a way to get excited because they're excited, and it makes someone besides you ask how everythings going. the longer stories ideas i had but never got finished are also ones i primarily kept to myself, because i dont think i'd realized how helpful it could be to share them and also because i was still sure that in order to justify telling someone or evn for someone to care, it would hav to already be written, but it doesnt! and in retrospect, i wish i had because maybe those stories would exist--or maybe i'll dig up those notes and talk to someone about them and then find myself back to writing about them (rip to Aftermath, that corrupted external hard drive did u dirty and killed my motivation).

i think getting to understand and figure out your own process, to really look at yourself and see what works and what doesnt (as honestly as you can) is extremely helpful. u'll also figure stuff out along the way--dont hesitate to try to new strategies or drop one that are really not working for you. its all a learning process. be nice to yourself! give yourself the grace to make mistakes (or tell a friend so they can bully you into to cutting urself some damn slack when u can't stick to a weekly upload schedule u made up for urself).

whatever longform story you've got in ur head is one worth sharing and seeing through to completion--and then inflicting on everyone else lol OUR problem now ;)

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Phullo it is I again!

I am very glad that you actually responded and given me an actual advice since I was worried about the question I sent you.

Though besides that I have another question for you (hoorayyy)!

So, about the reading books earlier- I’m fortunately a bookworm too! It’s just that I notice I prefer reading the genre science fiction/psychological horror more than… anything else!

And while the books I am currently reading, ‘Flowers For Algernon’ and ‘I’m Thinking Of Ending Things’ (these books are seriously so wonderfully made they make want to tear my walls), DO have romantic aspects of it- it’s not really the main plot of the story..

‘Flowers For Algernon’ has amazing storytelling and is very unique- though I’m not sure if you’ve read it before but, it’s actually just the main character taking notes. Hence why there was a lot misspellings which honestly makes it a great touch if you know the context behind it.

On the other hand, ‘I’m Thinking Of Ending Things’ too shares the same uniqueness as the other, possibly even more unique if I must say so myself. Though I REALLY don’t want to make my story similar to them since I want to make it more heart warming than fucked up..

Which is why I feel like I have the need to borrow or buy at least one romantic book because, I lack of it. I mean I accidentally borrowed it one time but it was kind of disappointing.

I don’t know if its a good idea and if I should do it or not since does it really matter of the genre, or just the writing?

Still, if you have any good books that are in the romance genre. Feel free to recommend some to me!

-lots of love, from another bookworm

welcome back! happy to hear you're a bookworm as well <3 im writing those titles down since i read a criminal lack of sci-fi despite loving it

i actually don't have any straight up romance recs - i don't actively search it out (outside of fanfic), so any romance i read just comes with whatever book i've picked up. just straight up romance bores me, unless its a fic with a pairing i actively like. and even then, i need to take breaks from it unless the romance is interspersed with an actual plot. im not a romantically-geared person! i dont have single Main Plot Is Romance book on my shelves!

but imo its really just the quality of writing that helps. ive never been in a romance, im the child of two different divorces, and yet ive been told that i write romance fairly well. go fuckin figure lmao.

so actually my advice on romance is to just like. wow idk what i do is pick apart the romances i see on tv / in writing. what makes them good together, how do they act around each other, what are their love languages, what's their dynamic, what traditional romance things do they partake in, what dont they partake in, do they have anything nontraditional, do they work and why do / they dont they - does that make their relationship more interesting or is it flat. are they a good match.

you don't have to have every answer, but ive found that at least understanding their characters / dynamics, and having them interact in a way that suits them will help your romance feel natural. dont conform to tropes or tradition, that will just make the relationship flat and unrealistic. and you can always sprinkle in little things that you like / would like, which will help ground the romance and get you into the groove

tldr with romance, i think it's better to observe real life (whether that's paying attention to couples or reading reddit threads) & analyze in-love or in-a-relationship characters instead of just reading romance novels. bc honestly, and from what i can tell, they can tend to be over the top or cookie cutter

just realized you did not explicitly ask for romance advice! Oopsie! i got a little carried away here....

[boxwinebaddie]

an uncle nina check in <3

hi team! thanks for sticking around! i know my blog isn't always the most exciting and enriching place in the world in terms of content, but i am very /content/ to have you all here. <3333

i promise, oddly enough, i have A TON of inspiration and ideas for all my weird styles ( if you're curious about anything please lmk! i've been trying to flesh out my aus out lately ), i've just been in a major bummer depression era lately, so it's hard for me to get my asks done and i'm having a hard time committing to finishing my writing. :<

i think it's because of stress and my bipolar, but i am trying to get back on the horse! ( are we all laughing at the idea of me trying to get on a horse? i'd start crying help city girl fail moment for me ) yeehaw!

and while, unfortunately due to the instability ( fabulous legendary iconery ) of my pretty girl popstar personality, i do not know whether i will be answering almost no questions or one million, regardless of that, i just wanted to let you know, i'm still here, still kicking my feet, twirling my hair, cooking...i'm just really trying not to force myself to put out anything i don't like...and only do what makes me truly happy.

however, nothing, my dear sweet e-darlings...

makes me happier than coming home to all of you. <333

so thank you for flooding even the darkest corners of my life with bright light, supporting my phantom fics and being wonderful,

uncle nina xx

[theladyjssem]

......

Welp... might as well go for it

[owlheartt]

CHAPTER TWO!!! I didn’t draw anything for this chapter because!!! I dunno, just didn’t want to lmao. This one is Kinkajou :)

[nakanotamu]

help please I've discovered the gif of Syuri kissing Utami Hayashishita, and then Utami's post-match reaction, can you please tell me if there was followup, what else happened?!

Oh my goodness anon CAN I EVER (sorry I waited days to respond to this I've been having A Time)

Okay so immediately after the kiss they didn't have any matches against each other for a few weeks until their singles match in the Cinderella Tournament that year. Utami spends this time pining and wondering if Syuri really likes her and Syuri keeps teasing her on Twitter. Syuri eliminated Utami and even though it was just Over The Top Rope it ended up being enough to earn a title match given that Utami also wanted to fight her.

Their first title match was really good, real unstoppable force vs immovable object type stuff. They fight to a 30-minute draw just as Syuri seems to be getting the advantage, lay on the mat for 2 minutes and say they both want to keep fighting and are granted an extension. That 2 minutes was enough for Utami to get her wind back and negate the advantage Syuri had had, and they fight 13 more minutes to a double knockout.

Utami (and her tag partner and perennially friend-zoned bestie Saya Kamitani) challenge Syuri (and her tag partner at the time and perennially friend-zoned worstie Giulia) for their tag belts bc they can't fucking keep away from each other or leave each other alone at this point and it's in the leadup to that match that they have the unbelievably charged staredown you've hopefully seen gifs of that was somehow even more homoerotic than when they actually kissed.

I don't remember specifically what happened in the tag belt match but it's not super important, Syuri & Giulia retained.

They had another match in the 5 Star GP that year and they were both desperate to finally beat the other going into it, fully aware given the year they were having 20 minutes probably wouldn't be long enough, and they were right, fighting to a vicious draw where they both clearly had more left in the tank.

Syuri won 2021's 5 Star GP and with that earned another title shot against Utami. She asked to get her title match not at the next big show, as had been customary in previous years, but at their huge Ryogoku Kokugikan show at the end of the year, Dream Queendom, so she could be as prepared for Utami as possible and they could fight on the biggest stage possible, as she felt they deserved. Because she defers her title shot she has to defend the right to challenge a few times in the interim, but she's on a mission, unwavering and seemingly obsessed with the red belt, and finally taking it from Utami. They request their title match be no time-limit this time for obvious reasons.

They fight for only 33 minutes, the lack of a break at half an hour proving to be what Syuri needed, this time pressing her late game advantage and able to capitalize where she ran out of time before. Syuri is finally the red belt champion, and Utami is crushed.

That chapter of their story pretty much came to a close at that point, but every interaction between them was still like, significant. Every time they face each other it was incredibly obvious how important they are to each other's growth. Utami spends much of 2022 rebuilding herself after losing the belt, sometimes trying to take it easy and recharge and sometimes trying to get her groove back, trying to learn how to be the new leader of Queen's Quest. She also cuts her hair god fuckin bless

They face each other in the 5 Star again, and Syuri is faltering this year. Seemingly every person in her block understandably sees her as a huge target, Utami included. Between the pressures of being in the tournament as champion and leading her new unit, God's Eye, Syuri can't balance everything and prepare for everyone and she's overwhelmed. Utami, on the other hand, comes in immensely prepared for Syuri this time, beating her in just under 15 minutes. (The 5 Star thankfully has a shorter time limit again now than it did in 2021.)

After the 5 Star Syuri has one other defence to get through first, and then accepts Utami's challenge, to make up for her loss in the tournament. To Syuri, she wants to purge the blemish from her record as champion and prove the red belt is unqestionably hers, but she's a little excited to face Utami again. Utami tries to hide it but she's a little desperate to turn back the clock, thinking if she can just go back to who she was a year ago she can handle her current struggles.

The lead up to that match is, god, fucking -

I hate them.

Anyway Syuri successfully defends in another really, really good match. Utami tries desperately to turn back time, go back to the way she fought, the person she was, a year ago. But Syuri's already beaten that person. She peels the layers off of her and fights her with raw emotion, dragging the same out of Utami until she's forced to fight as she is now, scared and uncertain and angry and passionate. Syuri makes her stare herself in the face and then beats her again. But after, she tells Utami she is her greatest rival, and she wants to do this over and over again for as long as they both can. Utami cries.

And as of now, that's where things stand between them, though no stories in wrestling are ever truly finished. They don't currently have reason to go after each other, though they'll never be completely unentangled from each other at this point. They're both leading their units in the upcoming Triangle Derby, which starts in January, and they are in opposite blocks, which means they will face each other. I'd guess the question this time will be whether they face each other on equal footing as two unit leaders who are expected to head their team in the tournament, or if they won't be able to help but have things get personal again. They face each other on the very first show of the tournament, January 3rd.

[aaaaaaaaagenloser]

(Tw: kinda transphobia? Use of it/its for a character who hasn’t declared what their pronouns are yet. Arguments over whether a character is a person or not; that ties into the pronoun thing here. Bonus points for descriptions of canon-typical gore yipeeee)

An update from after writing this: oh this. Got. This one got away from me?? I think I started this at 4 minutes past the hour. It is now 43 minutes past the hour. shitt.

Update; it is now 17 minutes after the NEXT hour. 26 minutes after th last update. I have seen god in the past hour and she shook in fear of both my power and audacity. I have lunch with my family scheduled in like 6 hours and I have not yet slept. This wasn’t meant to be as long as it is but I was possessed and this is the result. I may edit it and make it smoother later but I’ll make that a separate post, I want this sleep-deprived chunk of words to be here as like a monument to the fact that I could have been playing stardew valley during this time but I chose to do this instead

TLDR: long ass story ahead written by a sleep-deprived and hyperfixation-driven author. Who is now going the fuck to BED

“We can’t just keep it! What if it has a tracking device? It won’t let us fucking touch it so there’s no way of knowing it has one unless it leads them right to us!”

“Ok, I hear you but think. That hasn’t happened yet. It’s been about what, three days? and that hasn’t happened, and they haven’t been violent towards any of us at all. They haven’t tried to go back either, so there’s no risk of them telling or leading Showfall where we are.”

“Why do you keep calling it ‘they’?”

“Well they can’t be an “it” now can it? …wait.”

“Ok can we figure out the gender of the thing in the other room after we figure out if it’s a threat to us or not. It’s not even a fucking person, you remember what those things did to you back there, don’t you?”

“Those people were not themselves, they were just doing what he wanted them to do—“

“They’re not fucking people! Those things are all part of Showfall, just like Hetch was! It’s just waiting for the right time to turn us in, or pull some shit on one of us like they did before.”

“They weren’t… they weren’t in control.”

“Yeah like fuck they weren’t, I saw it fucking happen!”

“You can’t just… Ok. Sneeg. Stop. You don’t speak for me, the one who, oh I don’t know, was the one that shit happened to? They were being controlled just like us—“

“No, no, not like us. We were wandering around and not knowing what the fuck was happening. None of us knew what was happening. We just went along blindly. Those things—on purpose—dragged you to that stupid wall and sewed wires into your hands—“

“Shut up, Sneeg—“

“No you shut up! You didn’t see it fucking happen! I saw them and Bitchface literally hold you down until you passed out! They were fucking choking you, they fucking—they nearly fucking killed you with just their hands, that’s not a little suggestion in the back of your brain, that’s on purpose! That is fucking deliberate, that is a thing those machines chose to do! You don’t remember, you weren’t conscious when they fucking stapled you to the wall and strapped your head in—“

Sneeg glanced at Ranboo for a moment in-between pacing as he ranted, and the far away look in their sibling’s eyes shut them up immediately. Ranboo was still present, thank fuck, but they were looking at their brother like he was holding up a knife to their throat.

“Fuck, Ran, okay, okay—I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… shit. Do you need Charlie?”

“You don’t know when to shut the fuck up.”

“…okay. Okay. I’m sorry. Do you need me to get Charlie?”

“No, I’m fucking fine.” It did not sound like he meant that at all. His voice was less steady than before. “I don’t want him to worry about our… hitchhiker. He’s worrying enough about… well, everything.”

“The fact that it’s here, so close to us is the reason I’m trying to get you to see, Ran. What if it turns on him? What if it does that shit to him when we aren’t there?”

“We will be there.”

“And when it tries anything, we can kill it?”

“Sneeg!”

“You wouldn’t kill it, even if it hurt our fucking brother?”

“Of course we wouldn’t keep them around if they did that, could we at least just… just leave it behind? …wait, no, they couldn’t take care of themselves. If we had to leave it behind, maybe we should…”

Silence lingered for a bit too long.

“We should what, Ran?”

“…Sneeg, I was about to say that killing it would be a mercy.” The Hero laughed. “Doesn’t that sound familiar?”

The Taken didn’t reply.

“We have to help them. I don’t… I don’t want to be on the other end of a mercy killing. I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore.”

“Okay. I’m—are you okay?”

“…m fine. It’s fine. Just. Can you stop acting like they’re any different from us? Please.”

“What do you want me to think then?” His voice was softer than it had been a few minutes before.

“Just assume that they… that they were someone. Just like we were before. And they didn’t… they didn’t do anything on their own, it was all Showfall.”

“Okay. Fine. Let’s assume they were controlled, they didn’t mean to, so on and so forth. Why haven’t they talked yet.”

“I don’t think any of the drones even could talk. Wait, should we really be calling them a drone—“

“Shut the fuck up, Ranboo, we have got to figure out what to do with it. It probably doesn’t even know what is happening, what the fuck does it matter what we call it.”

“It matters to me! Do you want me to call you by your title? Do you want to call me by mine? …No? Then why are we treating them like all they are is what Showfall made them? We had lives before, we were someone, so they must have been too. They might not realize it, or… or act like it, but they used to be someone. They are a whole person, Sneeg. We have to help them, we can’t just leave them behind because that would mean we are giving up on someone just like us, and we cannot give up on each other. They… they would have hurt us by now if they were going to. And Showfall hasn’t found us since… you know, which means there aren’t any more trackers.

…okay, Sneeg?”

“…okay. If it,” he sighed at the look Ran gave them, “if they try anything, we have to leave them behind. I’m not letting a dumbass puppet be the reason we get taken back.”

“If they—ok, whatever, you’re not understanding. You can’t say one of us somehow wanted to be controlled, and they’re a ‘puppet’ but those rules don’t apply to the rest of us—“

“There is not an ‘us,’ Ran! That thing isn’t like us!”

“Guys?”

A sleepy voice shut the two of them up instantly. They had a split-second conversation with their eyes before looking to their brother. ‘We aren’t done talking about this’ ‘You’e absolutely right, so later?’ ‘Later.’ ‘We’re telling Charlie nothing happened?’ ‘Of course.’ ‘Ok good plan.’

“Why are you two fighting? I’m tired, can we please go back to sleep?”

“We weren’t fighting, we were…”

“…talking about plans for tomorrow. And you can go back to sleep.”

“I don’t want to be by myself.” Charlie looked at Sneeg pointedly, who sighed to Ranboo with a playfully annoyed expression.

“Well I guess I gotta go be a teddy bear again.”

“Have fun”

“Absolutely not.”

Charlie punched Sneeg in the shoulder lightly for that, who just giggled in response and led his little brother back to their room.

Which left Ran by themselves.

Some nights, he would join them, but some nights Charlie couldn’t stand to be anywhere near Ran, and the three of them had made a silent mutual agreement that Charlie trusted Sneeg more than he did Ranboo.

…Ranboo was okay with this. He wasn’t hurt by it. He didn’t cry on the nights he slept by himself.

He didn’t wish he could be the one Sneeg comforted sometimes. They were just fine.

They were fine, which is why they went to the living room where their… well. Their hitchhiker? They weren’t exactly a brother, or a sibling, more like a fourth wheel on a tricycle. Or a flyaway hair. Okay, maybe Ranboo needed to get tbr fuck to sleep, alone or not.

But he found himself in the living room, where their hitchhiker slept. Or, didn’t sleep, as they seemed to not need to. They would sit on the couch and stare idly at the tv. That was what had started the whole conversation with Sneeg in the first place; Ran wanted to leave some kind of entertainment for the fourth person so they wouldn’t be made to sit in the dark for hours. Sneeg took this remark as a perfect opportunity to explain all the reasons why the former drone should be abandoned, but Ranboo would have fucking none of it. Maybe the couch potato (shit, he really needed to come up with a name for them—) didn’t seem to sleep, barely ate, and stayed still unless actually verbally told to move, but they were still a person. Ranboo was sure of it.

Their hand wandered up to the fresh scabs where their mask had been. The fourth person had a mask, one that hadn’t been touched. Despite usually staying still, the person—(Ranboo thinks they might just call this person Couch for now. Maybe it’s not accurate, and they’re tired, but it’s something. C, for short.)

C would back away any time the others would try to get near them. And they did in fact try, but despite how creative or sneaky they got, C always ducked away. It reminded Ranboo of the drone who had followed them with a camera, always one step away and never letting the Hero get too close.

The mask turned to Ranboo, who stared back quietly. C hadn’t talked at all, so Ranboo didn’t expect them to suddenly start now. He wasn’t even sure if they understood what was said to them, but Ranboo wanted to try anyways. Better to be polite.

“Do you like the show that’s on? I think it’s called Lucy, or something. I don’t know, Sneeg said it was funny. And it didn’t seem, uh- scary or anything.”

The mask didn’t speak.

“If you want to change it, the remote’s right there, um, I showed you how to use it before. And there’s like, instructions drawn on there. You can thank Charlie for that one.”

…

“I think I’m going to head to bed.”

…

“Fuck it, can I stay here?”

The mask still didn’t speak, but the head hidden behind it tilted a bit at the sudden change in tone. Ranboo took this as an absolute win.

“So I just. I don’t want to be by myself. And I don’t think you sleep, I mean if you just sleep when everyone else is asleep that’s cool, but also if so how do you even? function? on that much sleep? It really isn’t that much but to be fair you don’t do much so maybe you don’t need it. …do you sleep sitting up? And just somehow wake up when we get close? I know, um. Sorry about that, again, we were just worried your mask had a tracker like mine used to.”

Ran laughed nervously. “I think I did convince them that it doesn’t, so that should stop now. If um. If we make you uncomfortable you still don’t have to be touched, it’s, it’s fine.”

Other than the head tilt before, there wasn’t a reply.

“Okay, since. You can’t talk, I’m just gonna… I’ll sit down beside you. On the couch. And if you don’t want me to be that close you can uh- you can leave. Or like, get up, and then I’ll leave. This is the only room with a tv, so I’ll let you stay here, but I can’t tell if you want me to be here or not, so. Okay, sorry, I’m rambling. Just… move if you want me to leave, okay?”

Ranboo waited for a response that didn’t come, then sighed. “Okay.” He kept his hands up and open while sitting down, waiting for a few moments before tucking his feet under himself to get more comfortable. “I’m just gonna stay here, okay? Like I said, just move if you want me to leave.”

The mask had tracked them to where they sat now, but the person—C—didn’t make a move to leave. Ranboo turned their attention to the tv, keeping an eye on their couch partner in their peripheral vision. During a moment of audience laughter in the show—I Love Lucy, they remembered—C turned their head back to the television as they had been before Ranboo walked in.

Seeing as how C (they needed a better name than that—) didn’t speak, this was the closest Ranboo could get to being told “you can stay here.” So they did. A few episodes later, his head was on the arm of the couch and his eyes were closed.

Five turned its attention to the Hero, who was now asleep. He had said it was a person, which was almost hilarious. And the Taken and the Hero seemed to think it couldn’t talk? They had to know it needed to be given permission first: any handler of a Drone or Prop knew that basic rule. It would wait until permission was given: it knew how to obey. It wasn’t meant to speak to a superior unless it was told it was allowed. It would wait.

…in the meantime, it studied its handler, the Hero. The other Actors, their two other handlers, called him ‘Ranboo’ but Five knew that wasn’t his actual label. The Hero was his character in the last show, and so that is who he was. Five didn’t know if Actors had a number, but he had been called the Hero in the script, and so the Hero he will be until the script changes.

It hoped to get new instructions, a new script for itself, something, soon. It was tired of simply watching the Actors go about their incredibly off-script show. It was sometimes told to participate, and since no other superiors were nearby, it had to obey its current handlers. But it was told to participate, to stir eggs, to help clean the kitchen, to attack small webs in corners with a stick with soft spikes on the end. Those sorts of things weren’t it’s usual directive, and so it found itself…

It didn’t resent its handlers. They were doing their best, and they at least knew that they were meant to give it orders. It simply wished they were familiar orders. It wished the Hero had told it to play dead, or play chase, or play camera, or caught, or prop. It would even listen if it was told to power down until needed. At least then it wouldn’t have to be conscious in this boring and unfamiliar set.

.

Y EA I know they probably don’t like tvs. Shhhhhh. I didn’t think about that until like. I had already written the tv part. At this moment it is 55 minutes past th hour and I want these characters to go the fuck to sleep so I can go thr fuck to sleep /lh

And yeah Five only uses “he” for glran. That is intentional. It’ll be talked about and shit later. Something about being put into a role, something about showfall being transphobic, something something I want to go to bed

Powering down = “sleeping” for a drone. Different but similar. I’ll explain how it works later?, anyway The others hav e told Five to “sleep” but it doesn’t understand because it is only ever told to “power down” so it’s like error.sleep_not_found and it stares at them like “bitch you said the wrong. Thing. You’re supposed to know how to control me so you don’t want me to power down I fucking guess” and it’s gonna be really funny after that miscommunication is taken care of.

If you remember the Five Gets A Cold And Wants To Throw Hands With Everyone post, this is wayyy before that. These motherfuckers are fresh out of showfall. Don’t ask how they got a house. I’ll figure it out

I am! Tired! I’m not proofreading this!! Goodnight please give me your thoughts if you have them. I need to know I didn’t sacrifice tbis much sleep in vain /nf /lh (I appreciate words but you are Not required to give them. Love you have a good nigt/p)

[dustandshadows-if]

Honestly, this sounds a bit cliche 🤔 waking up, amnesia, murder accusations, running away, most popular supernatural creatures (vampires), hunters..

But I've learned not to judge IFs by their descriptions because the demo may surprise me. So good luck with your project!

it may be a little cliche im ngl but! i write out of pure self-indulgence, so im not too bothered by it, and i hope you aren't either🫶

[anemoflower]

A little bit of Elowyn backstory below because my mind went crazy

might change again when I got more into the lore of Fon.taines Archon quest etc.

Okay so Elowyn has an older brother who went missing when she was a child. He went on a mission with their father (also a Knight of Favo.nius) but they never returned. Her father was found dead, killed by the abyss order probably, her brother disappeared. She joins the Knights of Favo.nius devoted to fight the abyss order, to help people and in hope to find her brother (this uhm feels a lot like Lum.ine and Ae.ther I swear I just noticed that now) I need to think about why exactly she left the Knights of Favo.nius later but maybe she starts traveling together with my s/i Nerina? Which would lead to some funny banter between her and Di.luc I think… (because he's not a big fan of the Knights of Favo.nius obv)

However, later in Liyu.e she fights Chi.lde and something feels strange. He recognized her, like she's familiar to him? Turns out he knows her brother, who is now part of the Fa.tui (a Pyro Agent to be specific)

She tries to gather more information on the Fa.tui's schemes and to eventually find her brother, which leads her to Fon.taine to Fortress Mer.opide. She tries to sneak in to get more information from a certain Harbinger who's in there? *cough* Chi.lde. But she got caught by Wrio (which would be their first meeting) She convinces him to hire her as guard at the fortress aaaand she fell in love with him on the way <3 Which leads to more drama when she finds her brother again... He's proably working for Arlec.chino because... That one pic of her with that Pyro agent?

Yes that might be him. I first thought to make him a Pyro Agent and then found this pic and it just made click. It would be a perfect detail tbh.

[mad-hunts]

If you could pick just one superpower, what would it be and why?

barton cleared his throat as he was approached by a stranger whom, for some reason, appeared to be completely unidentifiable; what with their sunglasses and seemingly blank features. and for a moment, he was extremely confused, but then he remembered something that he'd learned from the mun — or autumn, as she preferred to be called and was a person who seemingly had a weird connection with him (i just had to do the fourth wall break like this y'all... sorry LOL)— that he would be approached by someone he could trust and who was curious about him. so he then set down the coffee mug he was holding, before he began responding to them, ❝ uhh, well, i actually haven't really thought about it that much before. i guess because i am honestly perfectly fine with being human? but if i were to pick one, i would want it to be useful. and preferably not boring after a few seconds like super speed. ❞ barton tilted his head as he might've or might've not made an underhanded comment directed at the flash.

he always thought that something like that always had too many disadvantages to it as well, personally, so that was another reason why he disliked it. a hum of contemplation was what ended up breaking the temporary silence that had ensued as he thought of his answer. it appeared he had something like an epiphany then, though, judging by the fact that he rose a finger towards the figure and uttered a soft ' oh, wait ' like he was having a revelation, ❝ okay... yeah, after a little bit of deliberation, i think i know which one i'd want to have now. teleportation. i mean, imagine how helpful that would be to have if you were me. a couple of idiot cops giving you trouble by holding you at gunpoint and so you need a quick out? you could just poof away, wherever you want to go. you discover in the middle of a date with a person that was supposed to be the next person on your chopping block that they are also a serial killer and were planning on killing you as well at the end of the night? ignoring how ultra-specific that scenario is, as it totally hasn't happened to me or anything, you can just simply disappear and avoid having an awkward knife fight with them. ❞

yeah, with how detailed that situation was and how barton seemed to almost be too eager to brush it off as not being legit, it absolutely had happened to him. a laugh came from him then as he moved on from the subject, ❝ so, anyways, like i was saying... a power like that could be pretty instrumental in helping me escape sticky situations. and so i'd want teleportation. there's your answer, anonymous. i also think that having a pocket dimension could be fun, but i have to say that this is ultimately what i'd wanna go with. it is practical and fun after all. ❞

[dollsuguru]

hi hi! you can ignore this but i was really curious about your writing process?? you just write so well and i’m curious to see how your work starts from an idea all the way to the finished product!!!

the way my jaw DROPPED rn like omfg are you talking to ME??? I’M SHOOK PLEASE YOU ARE WAY TOO KIND AND SO GENEROUS 😭 my writing sucks ASS but thank you SO much you’re so sweet <333 i can try & let you know my process but tbh baby i do NOT have one 😭 but i’ll try to think of something 😭 also i’ll try to be as thorough/concise as possible but i’m sorry if i tangent! ALSO this’ll be long bc i’m a yapper so forgive me <3

1) everyone is different but in my case i have a tendency to ALWAYS think of new ideas for writing (at least for geto!) find a character that you can consistently think of ideas for bc they’ll serve as practice! also i JUST started writing a month or two ago so i, myself, am STILL practicing with every fic & i am always willing to learn!

most importantly, i write based off my whim! whatever idea has me in its clutches is the idea i’m writing for, even if that means i’m leaving other fic ideas in the dust at the moment! i recommend creating a list of fic ideas and save it as a draft (can be a wip list or literally just a random list depending on how many ideas you have!) — for those i tend to jot down random dialogue, vibes i wanna express, plot points i really wanna show, the personality of geto or reader, & whatever randomly comes to mind pertaining to that fic! i write it all down!

2) it honestly changes between fic to fic but i recommend asking for requests in the beginning — even writing just ONE thing will give you practice/an idea! so here are some examples of what i’ve written so far:

- the first thing i wrote was a request for suguru being obsessed w satoru’s girlfriend. the way i started that fic was thinking of the feeling that suguru would ultimately feel which was “guilt, shame, & desire.” and then i… personified? each thing! at first i personified guilt as an arachnid crawling in suguru’s throat but it didn’t work as well for me… and then i thought, “how about a serpent?” and it flowed much better -> slithering down his throat, embedding his fangs into his flesh leaving it raw, mangled, & bloody -> roaming across his heart/ribcage. and for that, and this may sound silly but i SWEAR by it, look up SYNONYMS for words on google! “dances along his bones -> pirouetting across his bones” i think little nods like that can help you not sound too similar all the time or like you’re constantly repeating yourself! shame was expressed in alcohol (amber whiskey ties into his amber eyes as well) & desire was expressed within the flicker of a lighter reader gave him which he holds in his hands (he imagines the cold metal as reader’s hands, which he ends up holding in his warm ones at the end)

- second fic “black is the color of my true love’s hair” was my first time writing a fic and that was because i wanted to write something for v-day & i really love this song! music can be a great inspiration — same w song lyrics! but for that one i had a few ideas i KNEW i wanted to use (knuckle kisses, stargazing, depressive suguru who reader gives a bath to/has a heart to heart with, and reader making a scrapbook for suguru!) he may be ooc but also i’m not afraid of making suguru be soft and quirky, i think that makes him fun! have FUN w different facets of your favorite characters personalities! also personally, i hate when readers don’t have personality/are always too shy/can’t banter/are too serious so i try to make my readers have a personality that align w the fic!

now for the knuckle kisses i knew what i wanted to do and i think that part came pretty easy! just a bit of revising as i was writing so i could be more descriptive in certain areas, change my wording around so it’d be less clunky in others! stargazing idea was incredibly hard & so was the scrapbook… so here’s advice i have for you that SAVED my ass. now. if you just wrote random writing in your drafts, whether it was just stream of consciousness that has nothing to do with the fic or was just a random piece of dialogue you jotted down — DO NOT DELETE IT. two parts of my fics were from RANDOM writing i wrote that had NOTHING to do w a romance fic and with a BIT of tweaking it gave so many ideas/serviced my story perfectly!

ex: i had zero idea of how to start the stargazing part so i just wrote the part i knew i wanted, which would’ve been in the middle of the story! aka reader buying the star for suguru and him being Shook To The Core. i was wondering how the hell i think of the events leading up to that, and one day i randomly just wrote “you zig-zag around the counter like a bumbling fawn” bc i was brainstorming ideas for the fic but was like… this has no place in my story BUT i didn’t delete it i just kept the draft. THEN i was like… wait this can work… so i used it as my beginning to the stargazing section and it flowed wonderfully! same w the scrapbook section! i wrote a series of dialogue that i ACTUALLY intended to use in an angst where reader despises suguru in their relationship, but with a bit of tweaking and deleting parts of reader being apathetic and suguru being toxic, it ended up being a great series of showing suguru’s overthinking nature/his genuine love for reader!

also maybe i do this unintentionally but i usually have a focus into suguru’s thought processes more in my fics… maybe bc i’m just curious abt him more than anything LMAO so that can be useful i think! if you’re like wow i have no idea how to write for my reader, write for suguru!

- third story was a request (shoutout bestie rem 🤝🤭) who gave such a cool idea of twisted suguru watching reader grieve him for leaving. now it wasn’t an actual haunting bc reader & geto are both alive, but i still used words of that nature to express them haunting e/o’s thoughts (mourning, ghost, corporeal phantom, living rigor-mortis etc…) the first thing i wrote for this fic was “prostrate yourself” — a tie-in to cult leader geto & also his confusing feelings about/towards reader. i also wanted to show bleakness so i mentioned suguru likening himself to a plague & a calamity. also don’t be afraid to show the ugly parts of a character — suguru is a bit callous in this but he’s still human and has a push & pull w/in himself! this fic i really tried my hardest to do a “show not tell” for certain paragraphs (bc i personally have trouble with that/dialogue/imagery/descriptions/engaging writing) — so i would constantly go into my “writing tips” tag and try and heed the advice they give!

sorry i don’t think i was of much help bc honestly i do NOT have a process 😭 even when writing my current fic about curator!geto — i just outlined OOOOOH WAIT OKAY HOLD ON YUP MIDTHOUGHT AND NOW I’M JUST PROPERLY ANSWERING YOUR QUESTION 😭

BITCHXHXHBXBX I FORGOT. OUTLINE!!!!!!! THAT’S WHAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR THIS WHOLE TIME AND I WAS JUST YAPPING AWAY FOR NO REASON I’M SOOOOOOOOOO SORRY OMFGGGGGGG OKAY SO 😭

curator!geto is the FIRST time i’m PROPERLY outlining a fic (so actually i didn’t do anything wrong pleek don’t beat my ass for yapping 😪) so basically since this is the first time i’m outlining i made sure to write the premise of the fic, characters & their jobs, their personalities, their place of work/interactions/relationships there and then also how they would meet! so i wrote how i wanted suguru & reader to meet, a few pieces of random dialogue, and then i also wrote about how they would later on be more romantic (in what way). i’m currently trying to think of a conflict and just now thought of an idea that i may or may not use but i wrote it down anyways! and this is the first fic where i’m properly paying attention to “show not tell” and trying to describe words/paragraphs with more imagery! (esp since it’s an artsy/visual fic!) tbh the “writing tips” tag on my blog will help you more than anything i can say 😭

also! i recommend looking up writing tips and also reading a bunch of fics that you like! my mutuals have some of the BEST fics i have EVER read and reading them is honestly a masterclass in itself of amazing writing/prose/how to flow a story wonderfully! i’m just a beginner so i have lots to learn still about fic-writing BUT just think of each fic as a stepping stone to getting better! write, post, but don’t overwhelm yourself/force yourself to finish a fic you have no ideas for. it’s okay if it takes time but also remember that it won’t ever be perfect so don’t let “perfectionism” stop you from posting your fics! someone will always read it — whether they rb, like, comment, or are a silent reader — someone will take the time out of their day to read your fic! and honestly don’t get caught up on numbers! i’m soooooo thankful that people read my fics & leave tags even if i think my writing sucks! it’s all in good fun at the end of the day! enjoy it however you can and i’m sure you yourself are an amazing writer! good luck bestie! <3