#feeling unhinged about my own little daydreams

[hatpinvigilante]

i just sifted through my notes app and there are so many fun fic ideas... i'm dying. why aren't i writing these???

1. the follow-up to the yu ziyuan/jin-furen fic where now they're married to their husbands but fed up and want to run away together. only yu ziyuan is pregnant again, and jin-furen can't trust her husband to keep jin zixuan safe. it's more about yu ziyuan coming to accept yunmeng as her home and figuring out what boundaries she needs to set to survive it (i.e. not answering to jiang-furen), and also her complicated fear(?) of motherhood, especially when it comes to jiang cheng. but jin-furen is still her most important person, so it'd still be a little shippy.

2. hwi taking seon-ho to swim for the first time and navigating the emotional minefield that entails. and seon-ho being absolutely giddy about them both surviving until he gets home and it's clear nam jeon knows where he's been. nam jeon does kind of get under his skin, but seon-ho has a reminder in his pocket (hwi's hair tie that he took without asking), which he holds onto as a reminder that hwi didn't die, hwi won't die, not because of him. (he will take this talisman out from its hiding place every time he needs it until after the military exam because by then he can't believe in it anymore)

3. wei wuxian trying to prepare for his wedding alone and struggling, but jiang cheng shows up to help him set up and comb his hair, even though he wasn't invited to the wedding, and even though it should be yanli. because wei wuxian needs him, and, for once, he can do something. they only barely relax into each other's presence before jiang cheng finishes, but it's important because wei wuxian gets concrete proof that he doesn't have to lose a family to gain a family (despite what previous experiences have suggested), and jiang cheng gets to tell wei wuxian that he approves of the marriage, if only because "it's easier to lose you like this" (thinking of the other ways jiang cheng has lost wei wuxian) - and it isn't perfect, but they're both still here, and it's a rare chance they get to stop and appreciate it together.

4. bai chuan and fang xu's relationship from childhood to adulthood, and all the ways they misunderstand and resent each other (affectionately, usually). at one point fang xu breaks his arm and has to whisper his moves into bai chuan's ear to set the pieces, and bai chuan gets increasingly mad because he realizes that fang xu holds back when they play each other. at one point they fight because fang xu says sometimes he hates weiqi, and bai chuan takes it personally and tells him to just quit then, but fang xu says can't because he *is* weiqi and if he quits he'll die. and bai chuan is so frustrated with his own inadequacies he doesn't really understand what is fang xu is trying to tell him until they're much older and living separate lives. anyway, obviously a happy ending on this one. i just like to think about them sharing a bed, and bai chuan being the one to tell fang xu he needs glasses (which of course fang xu ignores because how can he need glasses when he's "perfect").

5. a short yanli-centric fic where she finds her mother drunk and depressed after jin-furen's annual visit to yunmeng has ended. yu ziyuan is the only one to notice that yanli is sad that jin zixuan is gone, too, and makes a comment about how yanli is cursed just like her. yanli has always wondered what it would be like to finally be *seen* by yu ziyuan, and even to be compared to her formidable mother (just once), but now that it's happened, she doesn't like it, and she doesn't agree with it either, and, like, that's a lot to process, but she'll come out a stronger and better person for it.

[acircusfullofdemons]

rip 2 my irl friends who gotta deal with me infodumping to them abt my paracosms now lol

[lucilleslore]

lovesick snow really really really scratches a part of my brain that i cannot have the words that explain it and have to go the library of babel to find it. he'd be more easy to manipulate in that state, especially how vulnerable he is to you and how willing he'd do anything for you. like you said in one of your first posts, i'm in love with the idea of it of how powerful the reader is if you want to add more backstory to them.

ok so i went with your idea and gave manipulative!reader and snow the backstory they deserve for the little au we have going here!! i hope you love it <3

➸ so as a kid i see manipulative!reader as a bit of a daydreamer and what do lots of little girls dream about?? their wedding. for you though it wasn’t necessarily about the day, not even the fancy dress or the colour scheme but the person. let’s just say you’re already from quite an influential family but it’s not enough - you want more.

➸ you wanted a husband that’s powerful, motivated. he had to be important and charismatic - someone who could really get you what you wanted from life. you weren’t completely unbothered by the idea of romance though and hoped that’d you’d manage to get them utterly devoted to you, willing to do anything to protect you and make you happy. it’s not a hard thing to ask for, right?

➸ you’d always been aware of coriolanus snow but there always seemed to be better candidates for your attention. then he comes back to the capitol and you can sense the change in him - the unhinged, power hungry aura that seemed to surround him and as he quickly started making a new name for himself, you thought he could be the one.

➸ coryo would never be an easy person to get close to however. so you had to subtly start placing yourself in his life. it was a slow process but you were diligent. ‘bumping’ into him just outside his apartment, having the same social calendar as him, even showing an interest in the games so someone would set up an appointment between the two of you to discuss.

➸ then there was one moment. one that not even you - seemingly the mastermind of your own life - had planned out. it was raining that day, pouring and you were alone rushing back to your apartment. you weren’t paying attention to where you were going and when you stepped out onto the road you weren’t prepared for the onslaught of screeching tires or horns. or for the strong grip that wrapped around your wrist and pulled you back.

➸ coryo was there just as drenched as you were but with a kind of frenzied, panicked look in his eyes. ‘you should watch where you’re going,’ he’d urged. it was the way he said it, the way his hand squeezed at your wrist that had you thinking maybe he’d been noticing your efforts after all. he’d tugged you closer to him as if you’d be safer there and it was probably the most genuine moment you’d had in years, as you blinked up at the blonde man who’d just saved your life.

➸ honestly after that you decide to back off, feeling a little guilty about your scheming but seemingly the universe wanted the two of you on the same path. or maybe coriolanus did. suddenly he was there at family functions, taking meetings with your father, charming your mother at all costs. he’d come to dinners hosted at your families estate and his eyes would never leave you from across the table even when he was in a conversation.

➸ so when your family told you about the marriage proposal you weren’t that surprised, just giddy. everything was finally falling into place. you knew you’d have to be careful. to you snow was charming, doting in a sense but you’d heard the rumours. he could be dangerous and you’d have to make sure you were never in his firing line.

➸ in the beginning of your marriage you try and play coy, let coryo take the lead in things. you like to let him know how you rely on him, always holding onto his arm in public and letting him speak first. basically just playing up to his male ego but something about seeing you feeling so safe with him and letting your guard down has him letting some walls down too. which is exactly what you want.

➸ he’d start to confide in you after a while because you’re just such a good little wife! bringing him drinks in the evening in your pretty dresses, loosening his shirts and playing with his hair. it isn’t his fault he ends up telling you things about his past, things he plans to do in the future - a lot of things that he probably shouldn’t tell you especially since you’ll remember each and every one.

➸ kinda dark but i love the idea of you being able to read people really well and always hyper aware of who coryo surrounds himself with, always sussing out their intentions before he does. you give it a little while but if he’s still not catching onto them you’ll simply make something up. maybe they’re giving you dirty looks or maybe their gazes are just lingering a little too long for your liking, in places they certainly shouldn’t be looking. maybe they’ve flirted with you, maybe they’re making nasty digs but you have coryo eating out the palm of your hand by this point and he’s possessive, protective in a mad, feral way. you’re flat out lying but he eats it up and whoever you want gone doesn’t last much longer after that.

➸ maybe that’s how you get your power. by simply having his ear. people know that they can get what they want through you and by the time coryo is president you have people visiting you nearly everyday. hoping you’ll let them into your inner circle, offering you things in exchange for a word whispered in his ear.

➸ and maybe coryo comes to rely on you this way. you’re a capitol darling, their perfect first lady but behind closed doors you’re separating the good from the bad. the people who can help your husband and the people who’re out to damage what he’s built. people begin to see you as a powerhouse in your own right, someone with a good side they need to be on. or else.

[thisapplepielife]

Written for @steddiesongfics.

Fan Mail

June Prompt: Song By Blondie | Word Count: 876 | Rating: T | Characters: Steve, Robin, Eddie | CW: Language | Tags: Future Fic, Canon Divergence, No Upside Down, Steve "I'm a Big Fan" Harrington, Platonic Stobin

For a song by Blondie, I picked Fan Mail.

The crumpled ball of paper hits the wall, banking off and falling straight into the trash can. At least his aim is good, even if his writing isn't. Steve looks up at the poster over his desk, and sighs. He's fucking pathetic. Seriously, is his plan really that he's gonna write Eddie "The Freak" Munson with some, what, fan mail? Yeah, that's a great fucking plan. 

Hi, remember me? We went to high school together. I was a bit of a dick, but I'm hoping you've forgotten that. You're pretty hot up on that stage. Call me.

Yeah, right. 

He's definitely aborting this mission. It was a stupid idea, anyway.

A few weeks later, Steve pulls a stack of letters out of the mailbox. Bill, bill, junk, junk, bill…and then his stomach drops with dread. A red envelope, with the Corroded Coffin logo drawn in the corner, where the return address should be.

What the fuck? No, seriously, what the fuck?

Steve takes it to the kitchen counter and sits it down, filled with dread. He didn't lose his mind and actually mail one of those goddamn letters, right? Surely he'd remember doing something as unhinged as that. 

He wants to open it, but he also really doesn't want to know what's inside.

So, it sits. For an hour, a day, a week.

It sits until Robin swings by one day, and picks it up like the Nosey Nellie she is, "What's this, dingus?"

Steve reaches for it, trying to grab it from her grubby little hands, "Nothing!"

"It doesn't sound like it's nothing," she crows, and holds it behind her back. 

"Robin, give it to me," he warns, low and pissy. If he opens it, it's gonna be on his own terms. And that's a big if. As long as he leaves it alone, he'll never have to know what's inside. Good, bad or ugly.

"Why haven't you opened it? Maybe it's important," she says, "maybe it's from Eddie."

And he knows. He suddenly knows exactly what's happened here, and he's gonna kill her.

"What the fuck did you do?" he asks, eyes narrowed.

"What you were too chickenshit to," she says, and she presses the envelope to his chest.

"Goddamnit, Robin," Steve says, feeling embarrassed and sick, "they weren't, I wasn't, ready."

Robin's eyes soften, "I know you, Steve. You'd never be ready."

She's not wrong, she's not, but still. She shouldn't have done this to him. It could be classified as a hate crime, he's pretty sure. And maybe even tampering with the U.S. mail. That's a federal offense. He could have her prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

"Quit daydreaming about my demise, and just open it. Then you can kill me if you need to," she says, and he nods, sliding onto the stool at the counter. 

He slides his thumb under the flap of the envelope and tugs, ripping it open, pulling out the letter. When he unfolds it, two tickets fall onto the counter and Robin reaches for them, and he just lets her. 

And he reads. 

It's short, and funny, and not as embarrassing as he'd feared. Eddie seems happy to have heard from him, and the two tickets are an invitation. It seems casual, but Steve knows better.

Holy shit.

He's actually made a fucking pass at Eddie Munson, and he seems to have made one back? What is happening right now? For real. 

"Well?" Robin asks, bouncing on the balls of her feet, impatient. 

"He invited me, us, to their show in Indy next month."

"See? I told you it'd be fine, dingus," she says, and he nods.

He spins on his chair, to face her full-on, "What version did you send?"

Steve suddenly needs to know how embarrassed he needs to be right now.

"The least stalkerish one, I swear," she says, "and I included a note from me, so he'd know, you weren't exactly aware it was being mailed."

That's probably more embarrassing, he thinks. Like he was just sitting there, pining, like a fool, and his best friend had to intervene.

Eddie must think he's the fucking freak, now. 

The tickets are good. Really good, Steve has suddenly realized, as they stand right next to the stage. They aren't front and center, more off to the side, but still. Right there. Front row. Where Eddie will definitely be able to see them, and know they came, if he just looks down.

And he does. 

As soon as he hits the stage, he comes right to their side, squats down, and reaches out to hand Steve something. Steve's frozen, eyes locked on Eddie's, so it's Robin's hand that reaches out and takes the folded up piece of paper he's offering.

Once Eddie's gone from in front of them, taking his spot center stage and getting the show started, Robin is unfolding the piece of paper. 

Steve leans over her shoulder, and it's dark. Nearly too dark to read, but it's fan mail. Right back. Talking about how he'd always liked looking at him, too, back in high school.

That he'd like to look at him a little bit more after the show tonight, if Steve is interested.

Oh.

Steve is definitely interested.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddiesongfics and follow along with the fun! 🎶

[jjkamochoso]

Hii again! Another request for Feitan x Reader, kind of like the last one. Reade who loves sweet and cute things, gothic lolita, but specifically for this part wants to take Feitan shopping for a matching outfit! He never really changes and she doesn't want to force him, but she's ecstatic when he agrees!! I was thinking something to match her lolita style they could go looking for a Ouji style outfit! He'd look so cute and handsome like that!! Thank you! ♡

I. Am. LIVING. For your request oh my goddddd thank you!!! As a fellow fashion lover this topic is making my heart sing with joy!!🥰 he definitely would look so amazing in the Ouji style!! I didn’t know that was a thing until you mentioned it and now, after much research, I’m obsessed😭😭 Thanks again for the request, I hope you love it!!!

Fashion Forward Feitan

Fluff

Feitan Portor x f!reader

Warnings: small mentions of violence

“Come on, please? It’ll be fun!”

You looked at Feitan with the biggest doe eyes you could muster. You were trying to convince him to go shopping with you once again since it seemed like he enjoyed himself the last time you two perused a boutique together. This time, though, it would be his turn to bring home a new outfit.

“You no think my clothes fit?” he chided, trying to avoid your gaze because he knew you were giving him that look—the one he could barely resist.

“No, they fit fine,” you said, “but I wanted to take you somewhere special. There’s this store that carries a style I think you would look great in.”

“I look bad now?” he asked, his hands tucked in his pockets.

You narrowed your eyes. “Are you being difficult on purpose?”

Feitan smiled mischievously. “Maybe.”

“Okay then,” you sighed wistfully, turning your head toward the floor in mock sadness, “guess I’ll go to the store all by myself. Walk the streets… alone.”

You peeked up at Feitan who was back to his usual of showing no emotions at your words.

You made another attempt at getting a response. “All by my lonesome. In that great, big, dangerous world out there…”

Nothing.

“I’ll go try and pick something out for you. And then if I bring it back and it doesn’t fit, I’ll have to venture out again myself to return it…”

Feitan was wholly unamused by your antics.

“You finished?” he barked. You nodded, anxiously biting your bottom lip in hopes that he was about to agree to your little adventure.

“Good. You talk too much. I go, but only to keep eye on you. You troublemaker.”

You broke out into a smile and clapped your hands, happy that you convinced him. As you ran to find your purse so you could leave, your frilled skirt swirled around you in a mesmerizing dance of satin and tulle and Feitan was so distracted by you that he didn’t register your soft hand on his arm until much too late for someone with his quick reaction time.

“You ready?” you questioned a second time as your first attempt at gaining his attention failed, Feitan seemingly daydreaming. He didn’t respond verbally but headed outside, your hand falling from his arm as he left. You were saddened by the loss of touch between you two, missing the comfort of feeling him. Little did you know, the man many steps ahead of you was feeling the same way.

Your platform shoes clacked against the pavement in your attempt to catch up with the speediest Phantom Troupe member.

“You don’t even know where we’re going,” you grumbled, out of breath when you finally were able to walk side by side with Feitan.

“Not my fault you slow.”

“I talk too much and I’m slow. Anything else you’d like to compliment me on today?”

You look pretty, he thought, but he’d sooner cut out his own tongue before admitting that out loud.

“Let’s see. You passive aggressive.”

You practically growled. “You’re about to make me aggressive aggressive.”

Feitan shivered with excitement at the thought. Since you were usually upbeat and unusually kind at all times (traits he had come to love about you), it still would be a real treat for him to see you unhinged. However, you were already back to your happy-go-lucky self, squealing in delight when a certain shopfront entered your view.

“Here it is!” you exclaimed, your eyes sparkling. Now steps behind you, Feitan walked through the door and furrowed his brow. What was this place? He had never seen fashions like this in his life. There were waistcoats and collared shirts galore, chains and jewelry glittering on displays all around him. As you scurried ahead, already deep diving into the racks, he sauntered behind you, overwhelmed by all the choices in front of him.

“This style is called Ouji,” you explained, picking through shirts. “It’s like the more masculine version of my style, which is gothic Lolita.”

“It’s… different,” he said, but you knew he didn’t mean it in a bad way. It was something he had probably never seen before—and you were happy to introduce him to it!

“What do you think about this?”

You held up a white collared shirt with a ruffle on the front. Feitan shook his head, scrunching his nose under his cowl.

“No white. Stains easy.”

“Good call,” you replied, hanging it up. “Ooh! How about this?”

You plucked another shirt from the rack, this time black with a high neck and long sleeves sporting buttons at the cuff. He looked it over and nodded in agreement.

“That’s a good start,” you said. “What size are you?”

Feitan just shrugged. He didn’t shop much, nor did he pay attention to sizing. Phinks usually brought things home for him and they magically fit.

“Small maybe?” you mused. “I’ll get a medium too in case you want a roomier fit.”

You handed him the two shirts and busied yourself in the pants section while he moseyed over to the accessories. His attention was caught by a jacquard vest with long tails, inky in color, with large buttons down the front. He hummed in amusement as he studied the piece, wondering if it would go with whatever you were picking out. Not caring to put more thought into it, he grabbed one off the rack and walked back to you.

“I went with black breeches since those are easiest to style and- Oh! Look at you, already getting to the fun part of accessorizing.”

You gave him a big smile, happy to see him enjoying himself.

“You should go try this stuff on,” you told him, leading the way to the dressing rooms.

“You can use this room,” the store clerk said, opening the curtain.

“Thank you,” you replied to her, but Feitan wasn’t budging from where he stood.

“What’s wrong?” you asked.

“I no want to get undressed in public. Too vulnerable.”

“I’ll be right here the entire time. No one is getting between me and that curtain, I promise.”

His gray eyes pierced into your own before sighing and entering the dressing room. When the curtain closed, you exhaled out of relief. You wondered if it was going to be difficult shopping with him, especially since he didn’t like change, but everything was going smoothly. Now came the best part about this trip for you: seeing Feitan dressed in exquisite clothing.

Feitan ripped the curtain closed, taking extra precaution to make sure no one could peek through before slowly shedding his old clothes. He pulled the articles of clothing off their hangers in a flash, eager to get dressed in something so he wasn’t feeling as exposed. Covered once more, he examined himself in the mirror. His slender fingers trailed over the foreign clothing currently on his body, feeling the different fabrics under his touch. He had never paid much attention to how he looked in the past, not caring about his level of attractiveness to others. He spent most of his days covered almost head to toe anyway. However, under the bright dressing room lights, in new clothes that showed off his figure in ways he didn’t know possible, he experienced a surge of different emotions all at once: excitement, joy, uncertainty-

“Fei? You alright in there?”

His eyes widened when he heard you. He had been behind the curtain for a long time, hadn’t he?

“I coming, don’t rush me.”

He tried sounding as normal as possible but his voice shook slightly. Grabbing the curtain, he halted his movements as an unknown feeling washed over him.

Was he nervous?

Feitan scoffed. He was a Spider; why was awaiting a girl’s opinion cause him such distress? He took a deep breath and yanked back the curtain, deliberately avoiding looking at your face in fear of seeing your reaction. Your silence was deafening to him and he found himself wishing you would begin talking nonstop like you normally do. You noticed an air about him that was strikingly opposite than normal—he seemed apprehensive. Comfortable in the clothes, not hiding himself away, but just unsure of himself.

No—unsure of you.

“Fei,” you spoke softly, walking towards him, “you look absolutely stunning.”

He had never wished for his cowl more than in that moment so he could hide away from your sweet words that were making a blush blossom across his face.

“You’re so handsome,” you breathed out as he finally looked up, his black hair falling into his eyes.

“Tch. You ridiculous,” he replied, but there was no bite to his tone. Was he secretly thankful that you were pleased with the way he looked? Of course he was. You were his pride and joy, his treasure amongst the trash of the world. Your opinion was the only one he genuinely cared about all the time, other than his own. He was deeply loyal to you and would follow you to the ends of the earth. And if he got to wear this Ouji style every once in a while on that journey? He’s not mad about that.

“You know how I feel about it, but how about yourself? You like?” you asked, a hopeful lilt in your voice.

After a few seconds passed, Feitan answered. “I do. I like very much.”

Your eyes lit up. “Really? Ugh, I’m relieved! I would’ve felt horrible if you hated it!”

Feitan had to fight the tiny smile that threatened to appear on his lips.

“I get this. Keep for special occasions.”

“Your outfit would go perfectly with that dress I got the last time we went shopping! We’re going to look so good together!”

You kept talking about outfits and your delight at his willingness to coordinate with you but he wasn’t really listening. He was too busy watching you and feeling another surprising emotion for the day:

Love.

[paeliae-occasionally]

Writer Questionnaire

Thanks @drchenquill, @the-letterbox-archives, @the-golden-comet and @ominous-feychild the tags!

I haven’t posted in a little bit because of real life, but I might be back soon. I miss you guys…

how long have you had your writing tumblr/writeblr? a fast and loose estimate is fine!

Just over a month.

what led you to create it?

I wanted to chat about my world and I really didn’t like the atmosphere in other social medias.

what’s your favourite thing about the writeblr community?

All of the talent and love <3 Making this account has motivated me to plan 3 different WIPs and write the first few chapters. I had never been able to get to this place before, so thank you everyone!

what’s one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you?

Feel free to ask things. Even if it is just a hello! I love interacting with people, any questions about my world or my writing process. Or Physics if you are particularly curious…

is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash?

I like my dash. Lots of great people!! I wouldn’t really change anything.

which wips or writing projects are you noodling about, lately?

I have just finished by full outline of the Xaeren WIP and have written a draft of chapter one. I have also finished chapter 3 of Paeliae.

how long have you been working on them?

Well I started building the world years ago, just daydreams, maps and languages. I wrote the history mostly last year and this year and then the characters developed from the places and history.

do you remember what inspired them/what got you started?

The world was a project I started just for fun, then acted as a setting to tell stories in. I then liked the stories a lot and decided to write them.

how much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them?

A long time. Not even just my current characters, many many more people who don’t even fit in this world as well.

when someone asks the dreaded, “what do you write about,” question, what do you usually say?

Umm… I say Sci-fi fantasy, and worldbuilding, then when they look blankly at me I say like tolkein and then they leave me alone.

name any characters you created. side characters, protagonists, antagonists, characters who’ve never been written, the first original abomination you ever pulled from your ass; whomever you’d like!

The main characters in chronological order:

-Ez and Rin (they are the the first romantic relationship I wrote and I love them.)

-Paeliae (His story describes the dissolution.)

-Xaeren (The inventor of most runes and the last godkiller.)

-Apollo and Tyro (Essentially modern day)

-Marsh and Daimion (I’m still not sure how future-ish I want this.)

who’s the most unhinged?

That really depends.

I’m sure lots of people would expect Marsh, but while he has no internal rules against murder, he keeps closely to the rules he does hold for himself and is really loyal when it comes down to it. Even if he doesn’t realise this he does care deep in some hidden part of him.

Xaeren cares the least about his own moral code. The only motivator he has is killing the goddess, and there is nothing he won’t do to get there regardless of the fact he knows it is wrong. He assumes he will die in the attempt so lives like a dead man because he has no life beyond this purpose. He might appear kind at first but you will always be second to his mission.

who comes the most naturally for you to write?

Apollo or Marsh. Apollo because he is lovely, I always like writing him comfort the team and also his fight scenes are really cool. Marsh because he acts so carefree and his humour is great.

do you ever cringe at them?

Yes. Mainly because I hate my writing, but also I just don’t like writing romance in general, so writing Zahra and Daimion has always been a bit weird. Strangely I never got that vibe with Ez and Rin, that might be because they are such a beautiful tragic couple that the story feels less like a romance.

how much control do you feel you have over your characters? do they ever “write themselves,” refuse to cooperate, or do things you didn’t expect? to what degree? are some less cooperative than others?

Well… I have a very clear idea of who they are and would much sooner change a plot point than a character so in that sense I have little control, but also they are my people so I can get them to cooperate.

do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters? and do you have a preferred means of receiving said questions? for example, as asks, as replies, as reblogs, as tag notes, as comments on ao3, etc.

Yes!!! I love it, any method is great! I am more likely to see asks and reblogs, but anything works!

what makes you want to follow another writeblr account? do you follow ‘em as you see ‘em, or take time scoping out the blog to make sure you align with its content? do you follow based on wips, or vibes?

Vibes. If they seem cool, I will follow them. I’ll likely do a quick check to make sure that they seem like a real person and that they make posts that I would like to see, but this is not usually based on their WIP type.

what makes you decide against following?

If I wouldn’t like to see their posts, I won’t follow them. This could be for many reasons, but common ones include: They seem like a bot, they post overobscene stuff, they make me feel uncomfortable, etc.

do you interact with non-mutuals often?

Sometimes, but if I interact with someone I am likely to then follow them.

do your mutuals’ characters occupy space in your noodle?

Yes! I have so many peoples characters whom I love and cherish.

Tagging @saturnine-saturneight, @theink-stainedfolk, @phoenixradiant and @oliolioxenfreewrites

[the-spaced-out-ace]

I REMEMBER SEEING ART WITH THIS A FEW MONTHS BACK BUT I WANT TO EXPLAIN (still crediting @wetcatschwartzy for the idea/inspiration though. also hi i'm aware we've never spoken sorry for tagging you in my unhinged fic idea post) BUT ANYWAY uhhhhhh. 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. But make it the main cast of NPMD. An au that appeals to ???? people ?? it definitely appeals to me

And now the cast I'd so and my justifications, idc

Steph Lauter as Olive Ostrovsky

Thought process: We know Olive's dad works a lot, is emotionally distant, and Olive implies that he can be downright cold or abusive during the I Love You song, which lines up pretty well with Steph and Solomon's relationship. Olive's mom ran off, and we never get any mention of Steph's (picture Steph being introduced by the hosts mentioning her mom won Honey Queen or something). Both know their strengths and weaknesses but have serious self-doubts about their own intelligence (Steph being convinced she's dumber than she realizes, Olive never answering until she whispers the word to herself). Also I thought about Mariah singing TILY Song and sobbed.

Pete Spankoffski as William Morris Barfée

Starting off strong, they both have very stupid names that they KNOW are stupid and try to defend the moment they can ("It's Polish" / "There's an accent aigu"). Both of them have grumpy/cold exteriors, but when you get down to it, they're both just socially awkward and autistic coded but very intelligent kids that are really just at the Bee to try to make something of themselves (Barfée dropping out because of an allergic reaction at the previous Bee could totally translate to Pete having a diabetic emergency). Both develop crushes on Steph/Olive by the end of act 1 of their respective shows too, so. There's that I guess.

Grace Chasity as Logainne Schartzandgrubinierre

"But Ember, wouldn't she match better with the Catholic--" GRACE DOES NOT LIKE CATHOLICS. Also I have thought this through. Logainne is politically aware, cutthroat, and automatically assumes herself to be the most important person in the room. She takes up every project and social issue that she can to appease her dads, determined to be as perfect as they want her to be. She loses the Bee because she gets overconfident, taking a serious blow because of her pride. Grace takes up every project and social issue that she can (anti-hocoming posters and the prank on Max for example), can be cutthroat (canonically has murdered at least two men), and thanks to her holier-than-thou nature, assumes herself the most important person in the room. She takes up cancelling HOCO and is always early for school and is extremely devout because that's the perfect little girl her parents expect from her. And she'd probably get so into it she'd fall from pride, too.

Max Jagerman as Marcy Park

HEAR ME OUT! Marcy has been the top of her class all her life, to the point she was moved one grade ahead. She's popular, she's intelligent, she's multitalented, and she's peaking at age 12 and aware of it. "I Speak Six Languages" is literally her having a breakdown realizing she's been the "best" for too long and it's stressing her out. Max, meanwhile, says he knows he's peaked in high school, and therefore is making the most out of his popularity and status while he can. Like, I can picture him mentioning he's done every sport available to him and being the best athlete is only going to do so much for him in his life in a "I'm so sick and tired / of always being the best and brightest" type monologue. So when he drops out on purpose, who would he daydream about instead of Jesus? Maybe some NFL star idk. Everything I know about football is about the Chiefs (Missouri represent) and also learned against my will.

Ruth Fleming as Chip Tolentino

They're both horny, both proud of their own nerdiness, and would both ABSOLUTELY catch feelings for a competitor's sibling and immediately forget what word they had to spell. And would both make jokes about the especially dirty sounding words (to be fair all his words are kinda funny. And I DID learn the word "tittup" from this show) (look it up I dare y'all). Ruth singing Chip's Lament? Funny to me.

Richie Lipschitz as Leaf Coneybear

AuDHD coded, tendency to have the wrong takeaways, generally socially awkward even among the other nerds. Tbh that's all I got, they're matched up because they're the last ones. Still kinda fits though.

And I have less justification for the adults but here's my takes anyway

Miss Mulberry as Rona - sweet but stern ladies who've been taking care of after school functions for years

Tom Houston as Douglas Panch - he doesn't want to be there, he's as confused as everyone else (but without the hitting on Mulberry stuff he's never do Becky wrong like that <3)

Dan Reynolds as Mitch Mahoney - he's a volunteer counselor!

[bunniekittiee]

Hi!! Do you think you could possibly do some hcs for sissy x fem! reader? Fluff, angst, anything you'd like!

Gotcha! I’ll do fluffy/angsty headcanons because I don’t think there’s a lot of that for Sissy! Also this is really my first time writing for fem x fem so I’m trying lol

Sissy x Fem. Reader

Sissy has always been a ‘hippie’ at heart. She’s always wanted to be adventurous and free.

When running around with the Manson Cult, as she stayed there the longest, she experienced her many shares of male and female sexual partners.

So she doesn’t deny anyone because of gender or race. She’s free, she is happy with whoever.

When Sissy lays eyes on her, she knows that’s who she wants. That’s the girl she wants to take home to the family. Maybe even get her to work with the family.

Sissy is a daydreamer, and after meeting her, Sissy daydreams about her frequently.

She hoped that Johnny wouldn’t sink his teeth into her. He always got the girls he wanted, and she wanted this one for herself.

She would just have to beat him to the punch. And she did.

Sissy was v nice, she was warm and welcoming to her and that reeled her in.

Despite Sissy being sweet, she still has her blood thirsty tendencies.

And like the Slaughters/Sawyers, Sissy cannot convey her feelings in a healthy way, so she will kidnap the woman she’s interested in.

She’s not as mean as Johnny, but if she defies Sissy or isn’t open to being with her, Sissy will get angry and inflict pain.

That’s the only way she really knows how to convey her anger properly.

But Sissy will apologize, whether she means it or not is a mystery. She can be sincere, it really depends.

She’s affectionate, she will clean up her s/o while they’re tied up and bathe them, she will clothe them in clean clothes, she will try to feed them even if they rejected it.

She cared more than Johnny or the twins would for their s/o’s.

Once Stockholm Syndrome sets in, she is glad to see how stuck to the hip her girlfriend is.

She always follows Sissy around even if she’s doing chores or working on a few things. Sissy is happy as she likes to be in the presence of her girlfriend.

It makes her feel more connected and she likes that feeling.

Taunts Johnny when he eyeballs them and he sulks off. He was supposed to get the pretty ones, not Sissy.

Sissy thinks it’s funny.

When her s/o’s period starts, Sissy pampers her. She sympathizes how painful it can be, so she’s more than willing to help.

As long as she repays the effort back to Sissy when she doesn’t feel well. If she doesn’t, there will be consequences.

Arguments are not often, but when they happen, they can be scary.

Sissy will threaten her girlfriend with a knife or whatever is near that can kill her when it’s bad. She will get in her s/o’s face and is not afraid to fight it out.

Yes, she may be more sympathetic and loving than the others (besides Bubba ofc), but she is still a little unhinged.

She will hurt her girlfriend when she’s angry and afterwards, she may or may not feel bad about it. She will take care of the wound, but that’s not safe to say she feels bad.

It really just depends.

Sissy will stick up for her girlfriend if Nancy or Drayton gives her shit. She doesn’t really care for Nancy, and Drayton is just a mean old bastard.

No one will be mean to her lover, not even Johnny.

Sissy will fight Johnny for her s/o and even if she gets hurt, she doesn’t care. She was fighting for what’s hers.

The Slaughters and Sawyers do not like to share what’s theirs.

Sissy may still have murderous tendencies, but she can genuinely love another person romantically.

She just shows it in her own ways.

[felidacy]

Vampire!Tim but make it Metahuman and more horror

For Context: Always wanted my own spin on Metahuman Tim and I got this idea when I watched an Iron Lung trailer edit on repeat. I loved the scene and I immediately began daydreaming about Tim. Apparently I like Blood way too much. Along with a very unhinged Tim that comes across as some eldritch horror to anyone but his family. (Okay including them too at first)

Background Information

Tim has always been a little bit of a freak. He is a born stalker who witnessed deaths before when he was just a toddler and seemingly was not traumatised by the Flying Graysons deaths. He is also too smart for his own good when he figures out who Batman & Robin are. Yet Tim is also so unbelievably dense. He runs after the two vigilantes on a regular basis since he is nine even though he lives in Gotham; the personification of purgatory as a city.

Having the survival skill of a wet paper bag since young is one thing, but years later down the line getting involved with the Wayne family -most importantly THE Batman who does not wish for Metahumans in his city- and yet neglecting to tell anyone about the fact that he is in actuality a Metahuman is another. When Tim started out as Robin he purposefully did anything possible to alter his folder on the Batcomputer until he realised that Bruce was so far gone in his head that he didn't even seem to care. He didn't care a whole lot about Tim in any way beyond training him. So even though people will find it ridiculous, he just forgot that nobody knew. In his opinion it wasn't lying if he just never talked about it.

(It did in fact still count as dishonesty)

Maybe he would have considered being more upfront about it if things didn't escalate and before Tim knew it he was estranged from his family. Tim always had unusual relationships with family and while it did hurt him, he accepted the terms and learned to live with it. His family? Well after a while they did realise that something was messed up when they were for once forced into some therapy -shocker! Were they forced to? Yes. Does it have much success? Only a little because its the Batfamily after all. It is enough however that they realise Tim hasn't checked in for multiple days and that his tracker shows he is still at home.

(The fact that Tim didn't think of the Manor as home or even visited in the last few months was a very sobering realisation.)

The scene

The Batfamily breaks into the Nest and search in every Nook and Crannies for Tim, but don't find him until they come across a secret door. It is not the same one to his own personal cave for the vigilante work, but a creaky staircase that is barely lit that goes on for far too long to be still above ground. The air is feeling heavier when it opens up into a big room, which much like the way down does not possess many lights. Quickly they realise that those who are there however point all into one direction. In the middle of the dark room is a pool; filled with the dark red substance that they soon recognise as none other than blood. In various states of shock and disgust they call out for blood.

They aren't prepared for the blood to move, it ripples as a figure emerges out of nowhere from the pool. Blood is coated on their whole body with not a single place of skin or clothes left unstained. It is cascading down the limbs when the figure pushes their frazzled hair back as if the blood is a mere annoyance and locks eyes with the people in front with an unimpressed stare.

The consequences of Tim not being truthful come to bite him into his ass at the worst time when he just wanted to work on a case and now there was his family that saw him bathe in a pool of blood.

Everyone needs some more therapy after witnessing that horror show that Tim calls his enrichment time.

Meta-abilities

Tim can use blood to look through memories of the people it belonged to. Tim is a practical person and as such he started collecting blood from various people. Only in small doses. Or more, with some. Depending on the person and how vicious he felt that day. He uses it for casework, stalking or blackmail, because frankly Tim doesn't understand why they shouldn't go just as low as the rogues if it prevents innocent people getting hurt. Tim learns that the blood can only show him memories from the past upon obtaining it however, which is why he ends up taking more and more blood from various people. In their line of work people don't suspect a small pinch in their finger as he learned.

It is only reasonable that after many years he can't possibly keep hiding all the vials of blood. Under the excuse of emancipation and with the help of estrangement with his family, he creates his own base of operation and far below in the earth he builds a pool that he fills with blood. Tim is not an organised person and by no means neat, as such he sees nothing wrong with using a pool made of blood and dipping into it if he needs additional help. (He finds that drinking blood has quite the strange effects on his body. Beyond what it does to anyone. If it weren't for that he wouldn't mind drinking blood. He's done it for years after all) His mind is able to work through the maze of the memories to find what he is searching for. Additionally after many fails & trials he knows how to preserve and not waste the precious blood. Tim isn't stupid after all.

Working so frequently with blood is how he learns to expand his abilities. He has always been fond of experiments after all. That is how Tim learns he is also capable of communicating with the person the blood belonged to. Although it does seem to be freaky and seems to make people physically sick. His previous assassins team described it as if they could feel themselves rotting away from within. Tim took great offense at that and even though he likes to believe they weren't being serious, he does tend to avoid using it.

[wilchur]

Daydreaming bg3 scenarios is my full time job at this point and I've had this phenomenal idea on my walk the other day. It's not really a headcanon since it has little basis in canon and directly contradicts some game events and plays with the lore like it's play-doh so more of a AU/fanfic idea, but...

It always struck me as inaccurate for Durge to be referred to as a "Bhaalspawn" since they're literally a PART of Bhaal made into a separate person in an act of (very confusing) divine creation and it really downplays just how powerful and dangerous they are. Especially since I fully subscribe to the idea that Durge is NOT a mortal, but that's simply not in the game due to just how OP it would be to play an unkillable Dame Aylin-esque character and the definition of a Bhaalspawn is "mortal offspring of the dead god Bhaal". So what the hell are they?

The Slayer. Or at least they're a direct vessel for it, more like.

No, really. Hear me out. Have you noticed how Gortash refers to Orin as "The Slayer" in that bit of dialogue when she puts a dagger to Ketheric throat? Except she's not? Not yet at least because the dialogue does not change depending on if you're still the one who has Bhaal's favour or not and she doesn't get it until you piss of Dad enough for him to go "fine have it your way, ungrateful brat". Plus I don't think The Slayer has been used as a shorthand for "Chosen of Bhaal" anywhere else sooo... Does he assume it's a feature of the position since he knew Durge had command over the form before their disappearance?

That's what birthed the first worm in my brain leading to this unhinged infestation, but it's not all -- there's THE URGE itself.

The game fucks it up SO bad on the whole front because it's reluctant to take choice away from the player, which is maybe understandable, but absolutely WRECKS the narrative that it's something to be afraid of. There's what? Alfira and the squirrel? Those are the only unavoidable consequences of having these supposedly violent and divine compulsions baked into every cell of your damn body. Saving your partner from a gruesome death by your hand needs a dice roll of 15, for fuck's sake! It was harder to convince a bunch of goblins to not turn me into an arrow pin cushion. Durge themself has been scared shitless of it their entire life and you're telling me the thing mostly boils down to dialogue choices? That just won't do for me, sorry. In the game The Urge's source is also never really explained beyond "of course you have unstoppable violent compulsions, you're 100% Bhaal's flesh and blood" which is fucking BORING and doesn't make sense to me because as far as I know Bhaal loves murder because that's his domain as a god, he was not a compulsive killer as a mortal so why would it be something that's passed down? No, The Urge is a fucking Slayer thing!

"It also had the ability to incite attraction in others, and remove any negative feelings they felt, or compel an urge to slay in any intentionally malevolent being, whenever it chose."

To be fair this is from a 2e sourcebook, but COME ON. Didn't it strike anyone else as weird that young Durge is mentioned to have slain an entire PALADIN ORDER before making their way to the temple if you're playing as an oathbreaker? Like, HOW? Slayer form bay-be, that's how.

(Can you tell by now I'm not normal about the idea? Yeah.)

All living creatures learn the best from their own mistakes and I think that letting The Slayer take over would be Bhaal's version of letting your incessant kid touch the clothes iron because they just refuse to leave it alone. Bad parenting, but it's Bhaal we're talking about lmao. "Oh you don't want to kill? No biggie, fuck around and see what happens then. I'll wait." is way fucking scarier to me than him just forcing Durge's hand with the butler basically being like "Heads up, master. Your father is pretty mad and your Urge is hungry so you might commit a murder tonight!" right beforehand.

Just the mental image of Durge thinking "I've done it! I've saved Isobel!" and then having the starved Slayer rip itself out of them like it does out of Orin when Bhaal forces her to transform... You see my vision right? RIGHT? And then the beast gets slain because what else is there to do and since Durge is immortal they just come back to themself instead of becoming goo (which is a game mechanic already since their sis is not so lucky, rip). The drama and angst potential is INFINITE. The sheer raw power of THAT being the "Bhaalspawn" reveal because if Isobel is alive that means Jaheira must be there like "what the FUCK are you exactly??" and no one can pretend that Durge is just Bhaalspawn+ like they do in the game. Do they kill anyone? People are bound to be at least heavily injured, especially since they've JUST fought Ketheric's bossfight and are not rested and at full potential.

GOD, I am rotating this thing in my head so fast the friction is bound to make my brain melt.

[sadlynotthevoid]

GUYS!!

I was listening to Charlotte's ending (because, being honest, that anime has the most beautiful music in the story of anime and sometimes I just need to hear it again— damn it why does it have to have such a story) and I thought 'I wish there was a lcf crossover with og cale of this'. Which, great idea, actually.

So I started to daydream about it (instead of writing anything as the procrastinator that I am) and my first thought was that it has to be a sort of happier life, since the anime ended like that (specially for the Otosaka siblings, overall the Otosaka siblings). So my brain said "hey, why don't put the main cast in the Northeast families? Nao now has to deal with Eric's dorkness". So I went with it and tried to figure out 'which northeast family gets what charlotte character?'

I wanted to put Yuu in the Henituse family because the ending destroyed me, damn it, I want him to be happy. And his little sister— wait didn't they had an older sibling too? (I can't believe I forgot about Shunsuke ;∆; I'm so sorry. You were my fav)

Then I realized—

OG CALE AND SHUNSUKE ARE BASICALLY THE SAME FUCKING PERSON!

Protective older siblings? Check. Selfsacrifical bastards ready to throw themselves for their family? Check. A strange relationship with time? Check. Elegant warm smile that reaches the eyes? Check. Absolutely badass hidden character? Check. Charming as fuck? Also fucking check.

They both even have the same 'I hold the key to salvation you need' and 'I wnt back in time so they won't be doomed' roles!

So—

Nao, Joujirou, Yusa, Misa, and Kumagami (he's the guy who located people with powers in the map and he was Shunsuke's best friend. He matters to me, okay?) are all reborn in the northeast families. Nao is Eric's younger sister. Yusa and Misa are twins and Gilbert's pain in the ass. Koujirou, the poor bastard, is born in the Stan family and runs away at the first chance. Kumagami is Amiru's older sibling who owns a shop because Ubarr is a matriarchal family (fuck thanks) and he needs to pay his meals (he may or may not be going for his third life. And he may or may not be a certain someone).

And the Otosaka's? They're reincarnated as the Henituse siblings... who have no idea the others remember their past lives.

They do, however, know who the others were.

Lily is the first one to remember. It take her some time to put the pieces together and realize that her dreams are not just dreams. That said, she recognized Bassen immidiately. He's still as sweet with her as before and, although her oppa may not realize, he can be quite unhinged sometimes. (That's fine tho. Most of them are.)

She lasts more to recognize Cale. She and her orabeoni aren't so close, she doesn't know him that well. That's why it takes her some old blurred memories from when she barely could walk and a bad night to notice. Ayumi's Shunsuke and Lily's Cale are the same person. After that the soft spot her orabeoni has for them becomes so obvious to her that she has to ask herself if she was blind before. Scary? Trash? Pshh, orabeoni was the biggest softy in the world. Let alone people, he doesn't like harming bugs. He picks them up and puts them outside so the servants won't squash them. Why do people think he would hit anyone?

Bassen cringes at his past life choices. He can't believe he used to be so— so— irresponsible. How embarrasing.

He's kind of surprised and sad at how good student his brother was. Not because he didn't think he's smart enough, but because he didn't expect him to effort so much at it. And if he did before, why did he drop his studies this time? Knowing all what he does now, he has the feeling that it must be either something stupidly self-sacrifical or something really important he decided not to tell anyone.

Lily seems to him pretty much the same but with a liking for swords. Good. Luckily, this way she would be able to protect herself this time. And gosh, isn't he reliaved they don't have those powers this time? No more accidental collapsing buildings for her.

Cale is the last one to remember that life. He's also the only one to remember their future life and probably the only one who knows why they remembered. Just like he tends to do with most things, he doesn't tell anyone about it (except Kumagami) until it comes up in a conversation or it's needed. (Alberu is a little bit jealous about this. Why does that guy gets to know but not him? Aren't they close too? Does he not trust Alberu as much? Thankfully someone has the mind to tell him that that's just how they used to be. And also because Kumagami seems is, as far as they know, the only one of Shunsuke's circle of friends that came to this world with them.)

His siblings? Oh, he knew it instantly.

[cyberabbit]

For the character ask game, please could you do Ness?

Oh absolutely, I'm already one step away from writing a Ness manifesto!

I love Ness so much. His design right away- dead behind the eyes, soft, and something about him coming through as small despite being a pro football player. With everything from chapter 361.

2. That he got into football off the back of wanting to believe in everyday magic. It's cute.

3. It's not about him, but I hate the position he's sitting in of being blindly loyal to Kaiser. I hope he gets to make more friends.

4. He seems like someone misplaced a Dangan Ronpa character, but he deserves better. My first fandom was Shaman King and I think he'd be a great character in that.

5. Both "Fast Car" by Tracey Chapman and "Would?" by Alice in Chains.

6. AHAHAHAHA WOW OK. Ness is the other character in Blue Lock I look at and go oh no, same. We both attach ourselves easily to people and can't tell that they don't always have our best interests at heart.

7. Blue Lock fans are really good at writing Ness' unhinged responses to others, especially in relation to Kaiser. I don't think he's above putting thumbtacks in Isagi's cleats.

8. The fandom can have a habit of going to extremes with him - either making him completely soft-pure-innocent, or making him aggressively unhinged to the point he's unrecognisable. Yes, he's been heavily manipulated from being isolated and daydreaming, but he's still had all those other interactions with other characters- he still sabotages and threatens for the sake of someone else.

9. Probably couldn't be roommates with him. One of us would fly off the handle for a small reason and it'd come crumbling down. Also, two people prone to attaching in unhealthy relationships are probably a housemate match in hell.

10. Absolutely friends though! We're both the kind of weirdos who'd get into spooky LARP, make up fantasy worlds and infodump about witchcraft history while kicking a ball around.

11. Ness is very much not my type of partner! I couldn't handle someone idolising me, or tolerate Kaiser being a factor.

12. He's still an avid reader, and will devour both romantic fantasy and magical realism fiction. He wants to visit Disneyland with friends, particularly Kaiser. Also I'm a BPD Ness truther.

13. While :> makes me think of him, I think he'd use ❤️ a lot!

14. He's a dark academica girlie, but not the grey-beige kind. He's the intersection of the nerd-goth axis. Dark academia at Halloween.

15. I like Kainess because it's radioactive levels of toxic. I think he needs to be on his own and have friends before he needs a relationship, really, but I think Kurona/Ness is cute (+ I read a fic where Hiori was involved too). Nanase/Ness could be cute too?

16. There isn't a Ness ship I don't like. There isn't really much for him beyond Kaiser, Isagi and Kurona!

17. Isagi/Ness. It's fine I guess? I just wouldn't read it. It'd be cool if they became friends though.

18. Ness doesn't really have anything in the way of other relationships in canon, and the one he does have... ooft no, too relatable.

19. I don't dislike it, I think it's great in the story, but how his relationship with Kaiser is makes me so sad.

20. Nanase! Give Ness an emotional support Nanase! I think he'd be good friends with Kurona and Hiori too... maybe even Bachira. Add him to the Just Little Guys gang. Especially because I don't think Hiori would tolerate him exploding, but handle it well.

21. He's fun to write when you explore his interests outside of football! I like to imagine how he'd dress, decorate his space, and how football is part of it but not the same as characters like Barou or Isagi where football is football- with Ness, it's part of his daydreaming and attempts to connect with the world around him in a whimsical way. Sometimes when I write him I feel like I focus on him being mentally ill that it clouds writing everything else when they should all actually be interacting together.

22. My fic likes & dislikes are the same as my answers to how I feel about his fandom interpretation!

23. The panel where he's smiling at Kaiser in the shower. Did it ever actually happen? Who knows.

24. Mikan Tsumiki from Dangan Ronpa. Kaiser is just Junko Enoshima. Trust me on this one.

25. I thought he was cute and absolutely unhinged. Now it's sort of the same but I think he deserves a blanket, a hug and a big pretzel.

26. I truly hope Ness realises his worth and Kaiser has to come to terms with losing him!

[katyspersonal]

11, 17, and 21 for Micolash!

(Asks from this ( x ) meme)

11) How did you “fall in love” with this character?

Although I liked him from the start, the "falling in love" did not happen instantly! Especially because my primal Bloodborne exposure was within an extremely small and secluded group, in which a snobbish near-Redditor friend would condemn "cringey Tumblr girls crushes" XD I was a little nervous upon realising that my attraction and curiosity to Micolash was only growing with every day, that I kept checking the same fanarts of him every day. I was not thrilled to feel judged so I was in denial and forged exclusively lorediggey interest. And then I just took my confidence back with this meme that started it all:

Basically, there was no particular trigger, but instead, everything I've learned about this character became planted seeds, and yet they sprouted and kept growing. My own wild, unhinged imagination and daydreaming was the water, good fanart and headcanons were the sunlight. Ironically though, this same friend helped to nourish it; he is very good at making impressions of characters and I asked him to write as Micolash in my starvation for more dialogue. It was so in-character that it did feel like getting extra script of Mico's lines.

17) Have you ever felt physical pain over this character? (ex: physical heartache).

Yeah... I am a little ashamed of it, but ey. No need to beat myself up for how my brain is wired? I've had two times of unexplainable nausea (as it, I was not sick or poisoned) because of this man! Both times happened after a particularly striking dream revolving around him. I also sometimes got strong headaches because of him, when I was spiralling into thinking about him too much!

21) Are your feelings about this character platonic, romantic, or familial? All of these feelings at once maybe?

All of these in this order of development, and currently all of these at once. Like I said, I was instantly fascinated by him, then it grew into a strong crush.. And, strangely enough, whereas I instantly latched onto Rom, kinned her even, and shipped Romicolash, my brain involuntarily imagined an OC that I could project onto more than onto Rom, yet that'd be his sister. So, I had a chance to imagine myself being with him, and yet threw it away for familial relationship instead? This is a part of the many years long string of strange self-sabotages, in which whenever I fell hard for a fictional character I'd "ruin my chances" by making their sexuality exclude me, or inventing any other way why we could not be together even in my dreams. What scares me so? But hey, at least I had Rom, right? .....right?

Wrong. Meet the description I've glossed over at first, but that changed everything when @val-of-the-north convinced me to really peer into it all like 'ohhhh whooo could they beeee?'. Given the context, the description could be referring to Micolash and Rom, and my lore brain instantly picked up 500+ canon-fitting clues and explanations for why it absolutely made sense. I was delighted by it. I was frustrated by it. I felt like a genius that deciprehered a mystery that fandom did not see for 6-7 years. I knew Romicolash shippers would shy away from me for that one and I felt lonely. I felt proud because on the other side I started a "trend" that ricocheted across the fandom so much that now headcanon of Rom and Micolash as siblings is the norm, not exception. I hated myself for sabotaging my only means to "be" with Micolash in my dreams.

But in the end, I just... accepted it? I've found peace in knowing that different parts of my identity feel differently towards this man, and I can't sacrifice either. And I was able to internalise the differences between my Rom, other people's Rom and Rom as 'general character concept'. So I can like teacher-student, I can like friendship, I can like familial, I can like ship, I can like them as enemies. But this applies to me-me too! It is easier to name what feelings I do not have towards him hahah;

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

thoughts about the prince gojo au I've had... The first time knight reader has to kill. The first life they take for him.... That surely must change a person for its weight and traumatic experience. Prince Gojo getting to know this, getting to see knight reader's blood stained hands. Feelings,,,,,

OHHHHHHH ANON YOUR BRAIN YOUR BRAIN…… this is such a tasty scenario and i HAVE thought abt it in bits and pieces (this answer will probably get long so im putting it under the cut im sorry anon but these two legitimately make me insane </3)

OK SO FIRST OFF i see ur vision so clearly……. one trope that will ALWAYS fucking gut me is the image of clean hands reaching out for bloodied ones and that is literally my prince!gojo & knight!reader in a nutshell i think. the devoted bloodied knight x the prince who dirties his own hands to clean them up.. yeah. u Get it.

and and and!! this is so important to me actually bc im genuinely sick in the head when it comes to knights. i love knights so much. and i think the most interesting thing abt them is the fact that being a perfect knight is impossible FOR MANY REASONS but among others its just the idea that a knight should be kind and good and humane juxtaposed with the reality that a knight has to kill whatever — or whoever — they’re told to kill. and for that reason all knights are a little (a Lot) unhinged to me and very much traumatized.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO KNIGHT!READER……. i think they get desensitized to it pretty quickly. their main focus is helping the prince / easing his burden / etc etc, so i think theyre willing to place their duty above their own morals, at least to a certain extent. (they still very much have a hero complex LOL) but but but… it still obviously affects them. and you’re absolutely right — the very first person that they kill will obviously have a huge impact on them.

because knight!reader had such an awful upbringing (before meeting satoru!!) i see them being very empathetic!! w a general desire to do Good. so the idea of them having to kill someone, maybe even someone who’s pleading for their life…. yeah. ough. but i do think theyd try to convince themselves that theyre fine, that satoru comes first, etc etc….. that they’re doing it for Him. so its fine. (but its not.)

and as for satoru’s reaction ohhhh anon u little genius…. i hadnt thought abt it before but!! i do think he’d be worried. my prince!gojo is a bit twisted in certain ways and i doubt he’d care that reader killed someone, or about their victim, but he would care abt the possibility of it affecting them. i think he’s mildly opposed to reader being a knight because of this!! because he knows that knighthood in itself is a daydream that’ll only cause them harm. but he respects their wishes and stays out of it… mostly….. definitely gets upset at whoever ordered them to kill for the first time, but after its happened again and again there isnt much he can do.

he’s very attentive, though!! keeps an eye out. or asks suguru to keep an eye out. just in case. i also firmly believe that he’d insist on cleaning knight!reader up himself <33 i think he enjoys gently wiping the blood off your skin. it’s domestic to him. (he is Not normal)

can u tell im normal abt them TYSM FOR INDULGING ME ANON….. ohh this was so fun to think abt. if u ever have any other prince!gojo/knight!reader thoughts then i’d love to hear them <333

[madstronaut]

baby's first konig longfic

(masterlist of my FaFiCoWriMo rambles at the Fuck It We Ball link below! looking forward to seeing this become a long untameable monstrous ouroboros of a list)

omg t h i s f i c. IT BARELY HAS ANY SMUT IN IT till the end and it is one of the hottest konig fics ive ever read (and honestly I think he takes home the trophy for man most thirsted over in COD fandom, sorry ghost but you’re all winners in my panties i mean heart I SAID HEART)

Reading: Cat/Mouse/Den by @papaver-decervicatus

idk wot it is - the tenderness and purity of their first few interactions? the forbiddenness of stumbling upon a private radio channel when they’re technically Not On The Same Side? the little GIFTS they give each other? How he can always find her despite her literally being a topranked sniper? the way their physical meet-cute is him literally catching her in his arms?! the knowledge maus can snipe him at any moment and yet konig willingly stepping into her crosshairs?  LLBLBLLLBLGLGB

That last “She’s pretty” comment for me was the emotional equivalent of stabbing me in the heart with a roughshod serrated knife in how cute it was (btw let me warn you if you haven’t already gotten the memo folx my whole brand is being aggressively encouraging and excited over fanfic and writers in an increasingly unhinged yet polite manner<3) 

in true konig fashion i love how excited he is that maus might be the literal death of him and that he would die happy if she was the one to snipe him lmao

also can anyone else relate to doing a private eye style deepdive into facebook archives stalking and searching for info about your crush and memorizing it like konig did here for mausy lmao

"It’s pathetic, the only place he feels any sort of peace is at war."

chef’s kiss, love this line. brief, but tells you so much about konig’s headspace

“A younger part of him is jealous. The older part smothers that part down as he takes in the view.”

I love this line!!! ive wondered sometimes about the science and why of attraction and maus basically living konig’s dream i feel must play a big part of why they’re so drawn to each other...and ofc no explanation needed for why she is attracted to konig because everyone is, undisputed law of nature, go look it up on wikipedia and jstor, thank you no questions at this moment

“There’s a creek at the bottom, and interesting flora marks the cliffs all the way down. He wonders what wildlife drinks from the stream down there and if there are any decent caves he could find an opening to.”

have u ever thought about what you or someone else might have been in another life, in alternate timeline? I can see biologist konig fitting in quite well in civilian life &lt;;3 LEMME DAYDREAM ABOUT ALL MY SOLDIER BOYS SAFELY RETURNING HOME FAR FROM OR NEVER HAVING TO ENDURE THE FOG AND TERROR AND HORROR OF WAR OKAY

“The exposed rock of the ravine flames to life with amazing browns and reds, and the stone sparkles like rubies and tiger’s eye stones as the sun's rays catch it.”

also sidenote the way the scenery is described here would make me want to go take a photo and download it and save it as my wallpaper; so descriptive and lovely i could see everything so clearly <3

“The sun is setting behind her. She’s very far away, but his skin prickles to life knowing that he’s being watched.”

I also love this usual role reversal of maus being the predator watching her prey (though is he arguably her prey if he wants to be caught? lol anyway putting aside the essay on existential questions in fanfic-)

It’s a beautiful place, really. It’s not such a bad place to die, he thinks. She’s a good shot. She’ll do it quickly. Nothing to fret about,really. It’s his own fault, anyways. 

I am obsessed with their chemistry but most of all something about this powerful man fully placing his life in her hands just does it for me

“I’ll bite, soldier.” She says, hurriedly, like someone might walk in on their little game. Like the teacher is about to find the two kissing in a supply closet at the school.

*me reading this line, giggling madly*

He sits down on the ground and opens his legs as wide as they’ll comfortably go and rests his cheek in his hand propped on his thigh. If he’s going to die, he’s going to give her a pretty show.

me: okay slut

also me: ✨o k a y slut✨

I also love how he’s imagining what she would be doing/how she’s reacting all based off what I assume is the equivalent of a shitty driver’s license photo he saw of her 🥰

i also feel like getting warning shots as foreplay IS so konig-coded (yes im fully aware as i type this that this man has so much fanlore, fan hcs, fanfic, faneverything out there despite not even being in the storyline of the main campaign lmao)

I also love the flip to maus’ POV - though when she notes how outrageous it is for him to keep his shiny knife on him i bet you my future firstborn that it’s to get her attention <3

also <3 sniper candy <3

also we love a girlboss who asks >100x to shoot him on sight lmao

It’s been months since the ravine and she’s seen him just about everywhere she’s been. When SpecGru was gathering intel on KorTacs drug affiliations, she saw him in the haunted deserts of Sonora, Mexico where she lies in the dirt redder than blood and coyotes sing her to sleep. She gazes down at him atop crumbling 16th-century Byzantine marble when she picks off the guards of a weapons supplier in Belgrade, Serbia. In the ancient and verdant bamboo forest of Yibin, China, hunting down spy affiliations, she camps across a creek from him for a night.

“we’ve got to stop meeting like this!” - konig, probably

He would’ve been a good sniper, in another life. If he wasn’t built like the trees she climbs for her shots.

mausy your crush is showing 🤭

He walks like a monster with three legs (and at some point about three months into their little game, she touches herself thinking about that third leg.

i mean honestly? give maus a medal for holding out for three months before succumbing, damn

The secret stays between them and their radios become the divining rods of close encounters.

secret forbidden relationship is one of my fave tropes <3

Mostly it’s just breathing on each line, mostly it’s just-

“König?”

“Maus?”

“Mhm.”

“Hmm.”

honestly this sounds more intimate than sex

She knows she should get a shrink or a good fuck to stop fucking thinking about him like this, but sometimes he whispers a joke into his radio and she laughs, and sometimes she tells him about the book she’s been reading, and sometimes he shows her his favorite knife tricks, and sometimes she tells him stories of before she was in the military and he always laughs and asks questions to show he’s actually engaged and he cares and-

this is so domestic and cute for warzone flirting <3

When they’re alone he’s the perfect gentleman, he gets no closer than when she reaches out to contact him first. When they’re not, it's a whole different story. He runs into the middle field like if he can just reach her, he can keep her. If he can carry back his conquest, well… kings get their war spoils, don’t they? It’s a terrible secret she keeps alive only in her heart, but she hopes one day he finally will.

mausy gettin bingo on all our fave kinks today, apparently

maus picking up on his knife skills and noticing his anxiety via the shaking hands (and that they don’t shake at all around her) is just peak PEAK PEAK PEAK fanfic vibes. feeling safe around someone is one of the biggest green flags in the universe and a gift <3

 It’s a shame, but she’s a little happy that it’ll be König, her cat, that’ll catch her corpse.

honestly these two were made for each other lmao

ok THE SCENE WHERE THE FIRST TIME THEY REALLY, REALLY MEET? HE KILLS FOR HER? LITERALLY PUTS HIS ARMS OUT FOR HER TO CATCH HER FALL? 

And the first thing he says is a promise. A promise of help. A promise of aid.

I was like speechless with joy and giddiness for a good minute or two reading this whole scene lmao SO SATISFYING esp with konig’s lil gasp when she falls into his arms <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 UGH PLS PAPS CAN I GIVE YOU A MEDAL??? A HUG??? A KISS???? MY UNDYING LOVE AND DEVOTION??? well in lieu of all this I’ll just give your fic multiple visits and so much rambling <3

also their first meetcute THEY EXCHANGE GIFTS????? HOW FUCKING CUTE ARE THEY GOD 

He has created, against all odds, something beautiful and delicate out of a brutal tool and doomed material.

so this absolutely stunning construction of a sentence pretty much sums up why I love COD fandom/fanfic writers so much..

I forget where I read this somewhere on this hellsite but it went something like “it’s subversive to write these men made to die/made for war, made to be loved instead” and reminds me of one of my favorite quotes that I stumbled on a random reddit Q&A 

“I get discouraged sometimes - just like everyone. I question whether my music/life/work matters at all.

The danger is letting other people define your soul's worth. Sometimes folks will like what you do, other times they'll hate it.

But I continually remind myself that I do NOT matter as a result of what I do, I matter because of who I AM. I am not a "human doing" but a "human being. " I matter simply because I was made in the image of the unmade maker, and I am loved by Love.”

“I am not a human doing, but a human being” 

“I am made in the image of love, and I am loved by Love”

“we are, against all odds, something beautiful and delicate, created out of brutal tool and doomed material” 

these words touch such a deep and core and unspeakably true part of me - that i forget often, that i find hard to believe, that i struggle to remember and cling to - and tbh one of the most frequent places I find this much-needed encouragement is in FANFICTION! <3

fanfic writers you are truly some of the most beautiful people on this planet &lt;3

anyway yeah, fanfic as therapy is a helluva drug and so fucking real

 if I could give all my beloved writers a diploma i would pay a calligrapher to write this gold leaf ink or some shit and put on my best lipstick and smooch it all over and print it out on vellum for you all <3

ANYWAY WHERE TF WAS I- o yes, simping over both maus and konig

When he turns to go she thinks how much his hands must’ve hurt to make this little thing 

this is so real; everytime I try my hand at sewing/mending (and i got tiny hands yall) for an extended period of time my fingers always end up so crampy in a uniquely painful way

i also get big “gift of the magi by o. henry” (truly one of my favorite short stories of all time) vibes from this exchange <3

(tl;dr: here, my heart, let me cut out and gift you my heart - oshit what’s that? your heart? *scrambles to catch and not break it*)

cos honestly on one level how fucking hilarious that they basically exchange a piece of wood and a rock lmao but really THEY ARE GIVING SOMETHING SO SPECIAL TO EACH OTHER <333333

The next time she sees him, about a week later, she sees him sharpening his massive field knife with the tiny whetstone on his comically large thigh, and in response, she thumbs at the wooden effigy in her pocket. They laughed into their radios to each other. 

ok how fucking hilarious and sexy that they are basically watching each other finger each other…..s' gifts

the final dialogue in chapter two needs to be in the merriam-webster dictionary under “flirting 101: peak examples”

but also omg THE EXTRA LITTLE GIFTS SHE LEAVES BEHIND FOR KONIG? HER FLINTING A HEART AND HIM SHATTERING IT IMMEDIATELY IN HIS GIANT-ASS SEXY ASS HANDS AND LEAVING HIMSELF BLEEDING AS PENANCE????? HIM IMAGINING COOKING FOR HER AND READING ALL TEH BOOKS SHE RECS HIM??? Honestly him musing about actually fucking her at the end is the LEAST sexy part of all this and the line about him aching to make her mewl did…things to me

if I could distill the maus x konig energy here into an drink, I think I could run up everest naked without breakin a sweat

The man is quick, but König is quicker, taking off through the snow like he did as a child. Running with reckless abandon, long legs carrying him faster and further than anyone else when he and his cousins would play capture the flag at his Oma’s house in Gauso. 

i love papa’s (really need to find a better nickname for writer while I write this lol) way of capturing like…the sense of child-like wonder/safety and domesticity you return to when you are in love/find yourself in the presence (physical or not) of someone you love in her writing, also why i really love this fic so much

Slicing that man clean between his ribs like a lion strikes a lamb was the second most satisfying experience of his life, greatly eclipsed by the settling of her weight against his chest when she trusted him enough to jump into his arms. 

*chanting to summon my talented fellow konig simps to draw fanart of this scene*

“You big, everywhere? I mean, with hips like those… ”

“...” Fuck, bad time to get a boner.

SIR.

hast thou not heard the term “video killed the radio star”???? you’re alone and miles away only talking via radiowaves, LITERALLY THE BEST TIME TO GET A BONER???? smh unless ofc the best time for konig is when he’s with maus &lt;3

“…he’d been chasing a little prayer in her shape. He wouldn’t have considered it ‘done’ when he gave it to her but-

Her warmth was still in his fingers, her beautiful eyes trained on him, her fantastic form somehow devoid of his blood or his filth in his rescue attempt, well. He had been praying, hadn’t he? It’s only right to pay tithing to the thing you worship. He gave her the figure, and he did so with the only real regret being that he couldn’t give her more and that he almost sullied her perfection with his violence.

also men near-worshipping the women they simp for is also a huge kink of mine (i mean whose isn’t it? also i hurt my brain trying to discern if that last sentence i wrote made sense but college was a long tiem ago for me soooo)

And to top it all off, when he wrenched himself away from her, heart heavy and entirely certain that she would never, could never, follow- she called him back and reciprocated. 

can confirm, reciprocated feelings is an indescribable feeling, war on drugs would’ve been game over day 1 if it was fought with requited feelings

When he turns away it is because his brain cannot comprehend a world in which she walks away with him.

well, snipe me right in the heart why dont you papi! (again, still need to find a different nickname for writer)

And in fairness, he would rather die than admit his treachery, not out of any misplaced moral but instead out of precaution for her safety.

honestly, husband goals

konig’s dream is p e r f e c t i o n “I love and trust you and feel safe enough to put my life into your thighshands, even if that means you’ll take it”

“Like dovetail joints, a great carpenter must have made them to fit together. There must be a God, and he must have made her to perfectly fit beside (and dare he hope, inside?) her. 

The only thing older than war to mankind is intimacy. You need soldiers for war, you need men for soldiers, and you need love to make those men. “

“He is remembering how to be human, to be a man and not a soldier, and he smiles back into her mouth.”

“She is giving him total control. Complete power and without hesitation. In her teary eyes, he sees a soldier’s trust, firm and unwavering. Ever faithful. Unquestioningly and genuinely she believes the man she’s at the mercy of will make her need no mercy. “

once again paps (yes yes need new nickname for writer, stfu mads) just dropping literary masterpieces casually

“König,” her eyes glaze over with worry. It’s a dangerous game they’re playing and they both know it. “Are you sure you want me?” She whispers, lips meeting the shell of his ear, he feels her fever pitch skin even through the fabric of his mask. His heart aches and he’s so angry with himself that she could even ask that. As if there were ever any questions. As if he has ever wanted anything else in his life like he wants this. As if there is anything else to want. As if there is anything else. 

Truly every beloved’s hopeful query and every lover’s debt to happily answer <3

 When he wakes up in his cold barracks, decidedly alone and not in between her thighs, he pounds the bed in frustration.ly ok the mood whiplash when i laughed out loud at konig pounding bed with his fists cos hes grumpy and horny

Not so dissimilar to the bride-stealing traditions his Oma had told him about as a boy.

damn oma what stories you be tellin to children lmao

though I AM recalling a medicinal anthropology class I took in college that was absolutely fascinating - we did touch on bride-napping as an actual thing in hmong culture (though from what I learned it has less IRL dubcon and more elopement vibes)

The fantasy of her is potent and life-consuming, but he is also viscerally aware that it is just that. A fantasy.

konig, thinking this, as he lives out most of his actual fantasies lmao

It is not real and despite his choking desire to be with her, he is not entirely sure she wants him.

ah yes, ‘idiots in love,’ an absolute banger of a trope

He wants so desperately to just be a fucking person for her. A person allowed weakness, a person allowed good-morning kisses, a person allowed terrible flirting, a person allowed to sit in the same room, a person allowed to touch and savor and make better another human. Allowed to heal, not harm. Allowed to save, not slaughter.

But he is a soldier, he’s not a person, and he’s not sure he ever really was a person in the first place.

The only thing he wants more than to have her is for her to want him. That hope is a delusion deeper than the ravine they met at, he’s sure. 

🥹🥹🥹🥹

yep just uh nothing happening over here, not crying over fanfic what -how dare you insinuate-

He feels no shame when he wraps his arms around the bunched comforter on his chest, imagining it’s a slight body he faithfully cradles.

*tripping, stumbling, running to pay for a custom body pillow big enough for konig to hug for his comfort* (not for me, would be too big anyways)😉😏

no literally ive thought about it i might have to do olympic-level qualifying gymnastics stretching to fit someone of his stature anyway it’s not like i made to-scale stick figure models doodled out on post-its in various creative positions to work out the physics of it or anything cough

If she knew how obsessed he’s become that he cannot help himself from having dreams about her and cannot help himself from getting off to the idea that she killed him with her fucking thighs

sir. 

please. 

i am ready to beat off the hordes of other women with a sharpened stick who would find this hot and respectful af

also obsessed with this soap who chews on pencaps and macguyvers radios to look like they’re fucking (or maus just has her head in the gutter, but really girl whose isnt??? and someone really needs to tell me if this is wrong grammatically every time i type it it sounds right)

also as a certified soap simp i also just have to say, you know you’ve got it bad when you look deep into soap’s eyes… and fantasize about another man LMAO

“No thanks,” she purrs as she finally sets herself into position.

i like this subtle nod to konig after she re-tells her katze’s joke <3 ooooo reading papaver’s writing is like eating a three-course meal at your fave comfort diner<3

The early morning light hits the streets the same way it had hit the forest ground that day.

i also love this line <3 i can picture those blue-orange sunrise hours in my head and it’s so lovely because the scene is also tinged with all the complex emotions from their first meeting

He throws it up and catches it without looking at it, instead his eyes are laser-focused on Mouse.

hothothothothothothothot (i realize just typing out hot over and over again leads you to also read thot, but honestly, still tracks)

She remembers her trigger finger twitching with sinful power, she remembers choking back the insistence at killing another lonely person, devoid of their autonomy on a basic level when they signed up for a mercenary-issued ticket to hell.

this line…is too real 

“Because they are weapons of maus-destruction. ” Konig replies like it’s not the stupidest thing she’s ever heard in her goddamn life.

somewhere simon ghost riley has to suppress the urge to put down his rifle, stand up, and do a slow golf clap

Suddenly, his eyes look lived in, like someone has just put up new curtains in an abandoned house. His whole affect changes hinging on what was an irresponsible outburst on her behalf at best.

And for the first time, she does not fear a monster hunting her through the woods, silent and purposeful in his pursuit of prey. Instead, she wants to understand a man, whose eyes have lit up like a princess has just laughed when he kissed her hand.) 

*i am suppressing the feminine urge to print out paper doll cutouts of maus and konig and just hang them around random parts of my apartment making heart eyes at each other*

Maybe, it's dangerous, to wave a steak in front of a mountain lion, but what if she wants to get mauled?

these two, a match made in heaven. truly there’s someone for everyone~

also i love this COD book club that is happening; i also have a semi-regular work meeting where I hit the jackpot of getting the most chill but passionate cohorts and our goal is basically shooting the shit & talking about stuff we love and how to share it with the world like a workhours book club and I hope everyond gets to experience a little joy in the middle of 9-5 capitalist hell that is the workweek like this <3

Soap says, pulling out a well-worn copy of The Silence of the Lambs from the bag.

“He said he picked it up years ago in Polish thinking it was a cooking field guide.”

 fucking dying

how she could rest entirely on top of his chest and not touch the ground beneath them and-

once again i fucking love their inadvertent mindreading/mirroring their shared desires unbeknownst to each other. MOVE THE FUCK ASIDE, JANE AUSTEN

also if gromsko gave me “special field medicine lessons” I would probably pay to continue them

also on this note MEN ARE SOME OF THE SNOOPIEST MOST GOSSIPY BITCHES IN THE UNIVERSE CAN I GET AN AMEN? CAN I GET A HELL YEAH? CAN I GET A WHOOP WHOO-

she basks infatuated by the calamitous captivation he exhibits.

*fanning myself with ripped out pages of shakespeare and hemingway to burn at papaver’s altar*

When he lifts his hood to blow a kiss to her, she knows she will never get her traitorous heart back.

sir??

excuse me sir????

i thought you were told you couldn’t be a sniper? what the fuck is this tender bullshit of a snipe straight to my heart-

also that last chappy YAY ENEMIES TO ALMOST-LOVERS TO ALMOST-ENEMIES, LITERALLY CANNOT FIND THIS TROPE ANYWHERE!!!!

He’s always hoped to be able to pound down into her quaking form. 

the first time i read this i blacked out after seeing the phrase “pound down” and instead all i remember after slapping myself awake is actually reading the phrase “he’s always hoped to take her to pound town”

also why am i hot for righteous konig in shining armor being willing to go from zero to murder when he thinks maus is a pimp

and the INDIRECT KISSING VIA THE CIGGY? UNFFFFFHHH FUCKING KILL ME NOW SO I CAN DIE HAPPY (yes i am so easily pleased, sue me)

also i shrieked when maus kicks her crotch up WITHIN SPITTING/BITING DISTANCE OF KONIG PLEASE I WOULD PAY TO WATCH THIS FEATURE LENGTH FILM????

The throbbing in his pants also suggests that he’s probably forgiven her by now as well. 

*nodding sagely* yes, boners never lie

also maus slapping konig while he’s holding a knife between his teeth is big step on me queen energy

also the requital and reciprocation of the lines and actions they feed each other is just- one moment: *goes to sephora to buy more lipgloss as i ran out while giving chef’s kisses in bulk to papaver*

i love that konig is passing the time just being horny for maus, an efficient king 🫡

also when i saw gosau austria mentioned i went down a hole googling where it is/pictures and it is absolutely beautiful!!!! 

I eagerly await updates papi <3 

[stormyoceans]

i’m rewatching and i still don’t know how this show exists or what kind of drugs were the writers on, but i’m so glad they were lmao and they have enough for our skyy 2 episodes. Any thoughts about 1) empty cinema scene, 2) talay’s foggy glasses kiss, 3) grafitti library scene, ‘Do you want me to live with you or do you want something 18+’ unhinged daydream, 4) wedding scene, 5) puen reading shojo manga, 6) why they should stop eating so much junk food, 7) snow scene? Sorry this got too long. I just love your thoughts about them so much!

Have an awesome day!

(one day i’ll come off anon, im just too shy and awkward lmao)

[peaks timidly from my inbox] yes hello i come asking for forgiveness ;;;;;; i really am so terribly sorry for how late this answer is, anon, i've been so all-over the place in the few past weeks and wrote this here and there whenever i needed to feel better, which probably means it's even more scattered and less coherent than usual ;;;;; not sure if you're still around or even just still interested in this, but i wanted to reply to you anyway, so here we go!!!

1) empty cinema scene: ONE OF THE MOST UNDERRATED SCENES IN THE ENTIRE SHOW IM SO HAPPY YOU MENTIONED IT BECAUSE WE DON’T TALK NEARLY ENOUGH ABOUT IT!!!!! literally the proof that no one can cheer talay up and get him out of his own head like puen does!!!! talay's ridiculously fond smile as puen pretends the cinema is full of people, the way he actually plays along with it after the initial 'what the hell are you doing' reaction.... we always make fun of puen for being down bad BUT GOD TALAY IS SO SMITTEN TOO he sees puen tearing up while watching the movie (THEIR movie) and his first instinct is to gently wipe away those tears LIKE IF THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU WANT TO BITE YOUR OWN ARM OFF AND FEED IT TO THE WOLVES THEN I ENVY YOU TBH. and the most insane thing is that at the time he didn’t even know he was in love with puen, he hadn’t realized it yet, while puen was already fully aware of his own feelings for talay. puen who, during the voice over, says "it's you. if it wasn't for you, this movie wouldn't have happened. without you, my screenplay wouldn't be this good", which parallels what he tells talay at the end of episode 4, "if it's not you, i wouldn't be able to work this well". and looking back at it, i really feel like it shouldn't have surprised me so much to learn that puen realized he was in love with talay at the glass house, because he was basically shouting it from the rooftops. "which scene is your favorite?" talay asks him. "the last scene where both of them meet again in the coffee shop," puen answers, because "i went there with you". it's you. it can't be anyone but you. i love you, i love you, i love you. IM TRULY NEVER GONNA GET TIRED OF SAYING HOW THEY INVENTED PARALLELISM ROMANTICISM SOULMATISM ALSO NOT THEM BEING SO ENTHRALLED BY EACH OTHER THEY DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE THAT UP AND AOU WERE THERE TOO PEOPLE IN LOVE ARE THE WORST

2) talay’s foggy glasses kiss: NO THOUGHTS HEAD EMPTY AND EVEN IF I HAD ANY I WOULD KEEP THEM BETWEEN ME AND GOD BECAUSE THEY SURE AS HELL WOULDN'T BE FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION. like i make fun of puen for being horny all the time but also i get it. if talay confessed to have been in love with me since the very first time we met by using a very similar line i liked from a movie we watched together years ago all while looking so warm and cuddly in an oversized sweater, i would feel compelled to kiss him senseless too. also not to be petty, but as much as people like to say jimmysea can't kiss, this is the only time i can fully believe a make out session left a character breathless, with weak knees, and a little turned on like THE FOGGY GLASSES, TALAY'S LIPS ALL RED FROM KISSING, HIS HAIR MESSED UP FROM PUEN'S HANDS RUNNING THROUGH IT, HIS EYES COMPLETELY GLAZED OVER...... REARRANGED MY GUTS MY SOUL MY ENTIRE LIFE AND EVERYTHING I EVER THOUGHT I KNEW THE SPECTRE OF THE PERSON I WAS WHEN I FIRST SAW THIS KISS HAUNTS MY EVERY WAKING MOMENT THEY REALLY DID THE MOST

3.a) grafitti library scene: PAIN SUFFERING TORMENT AGONY ANGUISH BUT ALSO THE TENSION THE UNDERCURRENT THE WHOLE ENTIRE EVERYTHING OF IT ALL I HATE TO SEE THEM FIGHT BUT GOD I LOVE THIS SCENE I REALLY DO. i just think it's such an important moment, character-wise, and it's also the first big turning point in their relationship, just like the separation in episode 6 is, because the conflict is actually functional to their growth, especially puen's. puen is already so deeply in love here, but it's so painfully obvious that he has no idea how to go about it and that he is still struggling to find himself, so he defaults to what he knows, to being puen the actor, and that's what he ends up putting on, an act, a big over the top romantic one that could have come out from a movie, but even if the feelings behind it are genuine, the gesture itself isn't, and talay KNOWS, because puen is the kind of person that quietly waits outside his university all day just to spend a little more time with him, not the one that makes a spectacle out of it. this is what makes talay finally snap, because while we see him being very confused about his feelings throughout the episode, and very doubtful about puen's too, you can see that part of him did believe in puen's sincerity ("lately, someone has done something nice to me," talay says to dol a little later in the episode, "so nice that i thought he was serious"), which is why it hurts so much to see talay's crestfallen expression when he asks puen "so all you've done is for your screenwriting?" (and since we're talking about it SEA'S ACTING HERE IS SO GOOD AND YET SO UNDERRATED IM EATING MY FIST) and puen doesn't realize how upset talay really is until it's too late, until he tries to explain and maybe even confess something ("im not messing with you. i--") but talay doesn't want to listen anymore. however this rejection is essential to make puen understand that he has to stop hiding under puen the actor and start being puen the person if he wants to be with talay. this is a long process that will only end in episode 10, when he'll finally be ready to tell talay his name, but this was the first step towards it: as misguided as the kiss in the glass house is, it's also the moment where puen stops playing a role and starts following his feelings. i honestly don't think it's a coincidence that in this episode the password used for the association is "you're not a movie. you are real."

3.b) ‘Do you want me to live with you or do you want something 18+’ unhinged daydream: PEAK DERANGED PUEN MOMENT HE REALLY SAID LET ME ADMIT OUT LOUD ALL THE ROMANTIC DOMESTIC HALF HORNY FANTASIES I'VE EVER HAD ABOUT YOU. IM PRETTY SURE THAT IF TALAY DIDN'T STOP HIM HE REALLY WOULD HAVE GONE INTO FULL 18+ NSFW XXX TERRITORY THERE IS JUST NOT A SINGLE OUNCE OF SHAME IN THIS BOY'S BODY AND YET TALAY STILL THINKS HE’S DOING IT FOR THE BIT. INSANITY LUNACY MADNESS AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY HAVE I GONE CRAZY. on a more serious note, i already said it before, but i absolutely love how the talay in puen's daydreams is just like the real talay, so much so that we could hardly tell that what we were seeing wasn't actually what was happening, because it shows that puen loves him as he is, warts and all, and that in puen's head their relationship turning into a romantic one wouldn't change who they are or how they interact with each other: they would still bicker and banter and be friends, and that's one of the things i love the most about them. ALSO ALL THE DETAILS IN PUEN'S FANTASY ACTUALLY BECOMING TRUE MAKES ME WANT TO RIP MY HEART OUT AND EAT IT BUT LET'S NOT GO THERE

4) wedding scene: I HAVE MULTIPLE ORGANS FAILURE EVERY TIME I REWATCH THIS SCENE POSSIBLY BECAUSE THEIR OUTFITS HERE ARE MY FAVORITE FOR BOTH OF THEM IN THE ENTIRE SHOW BUT MAINLY BECAUSE PUEN IS REALLY OUT THERE JUST SAYING SHIT LIKE "I SHOULD JUST MARRY A COLORIST" IN EPISODE 4!!!!!! BOY HAS JUST REALIZED HE'S IN LOVE LIKE 2 DAYS AGO AND IS ALREADY PLANNING THEIR WEDDING IN HIS HEAD!!!!!! also i adore how the writers use this specific setting to let us know the characters' current attitude towards love: puen talking about getting married and having a partner vs talay being focused on working on the video, puen catching the bouquet with no fear vs talay shielding himself from it.... THIS IS WHY I DESPERATELY NEED THE PUENTALAY WEDDING IN OUR SKYY I /NEED/ P'X TO GIVE ME THIS PARALLEL IT WOULD SIMPLY BE SO DELICIOUS. and not to be that person but fucking raw in that venue right then and there would have been less obscene than the looks they be throwing at each other while puen tells the entire room he is hitting on talay and then gives him the bouquet. jimmysea really be showing up on set every day like we're gonna display so much adoration desire yearning and love through the look in our eyes alone AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH FOR IT

5) puen reading shojo manga: OF COURSE PUEN WOULD LOVE SHOUJO WHEN HE IS SO INTO LOVE AND ROMANCE IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE AND IT'S HONESTLY SO ADORABLE I HOPE TALAY BUYS HIM AN ENTIRE LIBRARY FOR HIM TO FILL WITH ALL HIS FAVORITE MANGA. and i think it's interesting to point out that shoujo, much like the color pink, is something that has been forcefully connected to a whole set of 'feminine' characteristics that society tells men are off-limits for them: men don't need to be caring and sweet and romantic and cute.... but puen is very much all of these things, and maybe his reticence in admitting he likes shoujo is yet another way he hides his real self away because he's scared not to be liked, which makes talay's genuine interest all the more important. also we tend to associate shoujo with romance, but the three more common narrative themes in the genre are a focus on human relations and emotions, characters that defy traditional roles and stereotypes surrounding gender and sexuality, and depictions of supernatural and paranormal subjects. IDK ABOUT YOU BUT THAT SOUNDS VERY FAMILIAR TO ME

6) why they should stop eating so much junk food: THIS MAKES ME LAUGH SO MUCH EVERY TIME I READ IT BUT ALSO I REALLY DO HOPE THEY’RE SNEAKING SOME VEGETABLES IN BETWEEN ALL THE CHIPS AND FRIED CHICKEN AND PREMADE NOODLES AND DIFFERENT KIND OF SWEETS OR THEY’RE GONNA GET A HEART ATTACK BEFORE THE AGE OF 40 (thank god for the 0% sugar oishi drink at least sfjkshfkgs). also not me suddenly getting choked up at the thought of the two of them getting to 50 years old and finding out that talay’s pressure tends to get too high so puen studies a proper diet for it and makes sure talay follows it scrupulously NOT ME THINKING ABOUT OLD PUENTALAY GROWING VEGETABLES IN THEIR GARDEN AND REMINDING EACH OTHER TO TAKE THEIR MEDS EXCUSE ME FOR A SECOND I NEED TO GO WALK INTO TRAFFIC REAL QUICK YEAH NO BRB

7) snow scene: there are honestly many things i could talk about in this scene ("when you see snow again next time you will think of me", puen and talay having to play the characters, puen kissing talay's cheek, talay saying he doesn't like to be hugged, the freaking shaved ice made with snow and the oishi drink) BUT THE ONLY THING I CAN THINK ABOUT IS "YOU MUST ONLY BE HAPPY TALAY" LIKE IM SORRY BUT ISABELLE ADJANI GOING TITS OUT INSANE IN THE TUNNEL SCENE FROM POSSESSION HAS NOTHING ON WHAT I FEEL ABOUT THIS LINE IT'S IN MY TOP 10 MOST ROMANTIC PUEN'S LINES AND IT DRIVES ME CRAZY IN WAYS I CAN'T REALLY EXPLAIN AND I WISH I COULD SAY ANYTHING COHERENT ABOUT IT BUT RN THERE ARE JUST AMBULANCE SIRENS GOING OFF IN MY HEAD