#fighting the little guy in my brain who wants me to feel embarrassed about everything

[peach-pot]

wanted a blog that just reblogged posts that could easily be interpreted as being about a character someone might like, so I could scroll through and think about characters I like and sort the posts on the blog via reblogging with character tags. but couldn’t find one. made one myself 👍 @blorbo-posting

not sure how much or how long I’ll keep a thing like this up but it’s there if anyone is interested.

[worldlxvlys]

one choice

part 6 of the CRUSH series

bsf! matt sturniolo x reader

warnings: angst, mentions of sex, cursing

a/n -> hope u like <33

read the previous part for context !!

MATT’S POV

when my eyes fluttered open, i was immediately met with a pillow that wasn’t mine. i knew this pillow though, and those sheets.

i had forgotten where i was momentarily, until i looked over and saw her. her eyes were closed, lips parted slightly while she slept peacefully.

she looked angelic, the soft rays of the sun seeming to make her glow. she moved around in her sleep last night, leaving her barely covered by her blanket.

i couldn’t help but let my eyes wander her body, taking in every feature. her smooth skin was littered with dark marks all over, and the blanket left little to the imagination. before i knew it, i was hard again.

it took everything in me to fight the urge i had to take care of it right there next to her. what would she think if she woke up to me jerking myself off to her sleeping form?

oh my god, what was gonna happen when she woke up? she would want to talk about what this meant for us, but i couldn’t handle that.

what if this was a one time thing? what if she wanted nothing to do with me after this ? did i fuck up our friendship? i had to get out of there.

i got up quickly and quietly, careful not to make any noise while i got dressed. when i was done, i pulled her blanket over her so she was fully covered. i looked around for a pen and paper to leave her a note, as i didn’t want her to get the wrong idea.

ok, she has nothing to write a note with. i’ll just leave her a text.

well i could have done that, if i had realized i completely forgot my phone in her room before i left. i didn’t make this realization, however, until i had gotten back home.

so not only did she think i was the type of guy to fuck and dip, but i also couldn’t avoid the conversation that i was running from in the first place.

it’s not that i never wanted to talk about it, i just wasn’t ready for our friendship to change yet.

was running away the best way to handle the situation? definitely not, but i only had so much time to decide what to do before she woke up.

so basically, my overthinking ended up screwing me over. doesn’t it always ?

what was wrong with me? this was the girl who made me feel safe and loved, and now i couldn’t even talk to her. how did i manage to fuck up this badly?

one choice. one choice stemming from my fantasy-filled thoughts is all it took. and the decision i made last night led to more poorly made choices. choices that i wouldn’t have made had my brain not been corrupted by her.

her face, her smell, those perfect little moans that fell off her lips, she had a way of making me ignore every logical thought that my brain produced. i was so desperate to finally have her in the way i’d only dreamed about for years.

now if i didn’t fix this, i wouldn’t have her in any way.

———

READER’S POV

when i woke up, matt was gone. the spot where he had slept next to me was cold, meaning he hadn’t been there for a while.

for a second, i questioned whether last night was even real. had i really fallen so deep into my delusions that i started to believe them? i found the thought to be worrisome, but i tried not to dwell on it as i got up and made my way to the bathroom.

when i caught a glimpse of the hickeys decorating my skin i felt relief wash over me. i wasn’t going crazy. just as quickly as it came, the relief was replaced with a new feeling; embarrassment.

i seriously let myself think that he would want something more. hell, he marked me like he did. but he didn’t treat me like i was his best friend, he treated me like i was a one night stand.

maybe he had a valid reason for leaving. i tried to talk myself out of the rabbit hole of assumptions i was about to go down, and picked up my phone.

once a few hours had passed without him returning my texts or calls, i knew. he was done with me, he had to be. why else would he just leave without warning and ghost me?

i should’ve know this was going to happen, people always leave me in the end. it just never occurred to me that matt could be just like everyone else.

——

MATT’S POV

when i got to her house, i let myself in using the key she had given me. “y/n?” i called her name, not receiving an answer.

i pulled out the ice cream i had bought her on the way to her place, putting it in the freezer for her.

when i got to her room, she happened to be fresh out of the shower. she wore nothing but a towel, her eyes widening when she saw me.

“matt?” she asked before rushing over to me, pulling me into a tight hug. the water droplets that coated her skin soaked into my t-shirt, but all i could focus on was the fact that she was in my arms.

i inhaled the scent of her fruity body wash, eyes falling shut as i rubbed her back soothingly.

she then pulled away, smacking me upside the head with her heavy hand. “don’t do that again matt, i thought i scared you off. i thought you hated me- i thought i lost my best friend”

i cupped her cheek gently, “i could never hate you, and i’m not going anywhere. i was just overwhelmed, but i shouldn’t have just left life that. i’m sorry, i was gonna leave a note, but then i couldn’t find anything to write with. and i was gonna text you but i left my phone here and-”

“matt, it’s ok. i’m just glad that you’re here now” she whispered. “but there’s nothing to be scared of, i mean- last night was just the heat of the moment, right? i mean, it had to be, why else would you leave like that” she whispered the last part to herself.

shit. this was the problem, i didn’t know what the night before was.

i didn’t know what i wanted, and i didn’t want to hurt her in the process of figuring it out. what i did know, was i wasn’t going to lose her because i got greedy. so, i decided i would figure it out later, but for now: “yeah, that’s all it was”

“so, we’re good?” she asked. “we’re good” i confirmed.

“good. then i’m gonna get dressed and then we can watch something?” she posed the last part of the sentence as a question.

“yeah, and i brought you ice cream” i told her, watching her face light up at the news. “wow, you thought you really messed up, huh?” she asked as she grabbed her clothes to change into.

“i did really mess up, but i won’t do anything like that again” i told her. she just smiled at that letting out a quick, “i know” before moving to go back into her bathroom.

“wait, you’re seriously going into another room to get changed? did you forget how we spent last night together?” i joked. admittedly, it was probably a little too soon to crack jokes like that.

“last night never happened” she spoke before closing the door.

shit, why did that sting a little?

masterlist

tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @readerakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @nickgetsmewetter @meg-sturniolo @yamamasjumpercables @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07 @breeloveschris @luverboychris

[myteavsricochet]

Favorite firstprince fanfics, another incomplete list:

(Part 1)

Come Let Me Love You

Henry always struggled to have a good night's sleep. Alex made it easier over the years they had been together, but little cries in the middle of the night always woke Henry.

A little glimpse into a future where Alex and Henry are doting fathers to a beautiful little girl.

Obliviously Devoted

She looks at him in the way only June can. She's the only one he'll allow it from without a fight. "I don't know if you're ready to have this conversation or not."

His fork clatters to the plate in front of him. "What is that supposed to mean?"

June sighs a sigh of long-suffering and pinches the bridge of her nose, before she looks him dead in the eye and sets his world upside down. "You know you and Henry are dating, right?"

Alex gapes at her. Mouth hung open, eyes blown wide. "W-what?"

"I say this with all the love in the world," she says. "But sometimes, I swear, you are the most oblivious idiot on the face of the planet."

Tags: idiots in love, oblivious acd, best friends to lovers, alternate universe - roommates/housemates

(even though you want to) please try to never grow up

“You better have a good fucking reason for sending me to voicemail, Hen.” He glares at the phone for one second before he actually sees the screen, and then his face melts into something Henry can only describe as fond. “Oh,” he whispers, dropping his mug of coffee onto the counter so he can lean in closer to the phone. “Look who’s there.”

“Yeah.” Henry keeps his voice so low he isn’t even sure Alex can hear him. He doesn’t seem to mind, eyes taking in the picture in front of him with parted lips, the edge of his finger covering the camera when he undoubtedly reaches to caress his daughter’s head.

Or, Alex misses his daughter when he goes back to work after a long paternity leave.

tags: domestic, tooth-rotting fluff, family fic

Let Me Wash Away Your Worries

Alex has had a terrible week. Henry is right there to take care of him.

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Bath Sex, Cuddling & Snuggling, Romantic Fluff, Praise Kink, Alex Claremont-Diaz Needs a Hug, Worship

ephemeral enchantments

in which Henry is an overworked barista with a tendency to embarrass himself in front of everything that breaths and Alex is charmed from the first time he met him.

Tags: Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Awkward Flirting

Three fights Alex and Henry never had

Yes, Alex and Henry got their Happily Ever After. But that doesn't mean everything was just automatically perfect when they moved in together...

Tags: Established Relationship, Domestic Fluff

am i homophobic? (URGENT) (PLEASE HELP)

Now, it might be pretty early in the morning and Alex’s brain functions might not be working as quickly as they normally do, but he can still put two and two together. There's a strange man in their kitchen. Henry is shirtless, rumpled, and holding two pairs of boxers. Henry and this Sam guy slept together. Which… obviously is fine because Alex is not an asshole, but he’s definitely feeling something about this development that he will examine at a later date. But of course, instead of saying something normal, you know, like a normal person would, he says, “Ohh.” Like a fucking weirdo.

or: the "am i homophobic?" roommate au that no one asked for

Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Sexuality Crisis, Mentions of homophobia, no one is like actually homophobic though, Idiots in Love, Explicit Sexual Content, Unsafe Sex

The shape of your lips bruising my heart

So, that neck-kissing scene in the bloopers? Yeah, that one. Well. I wrote it.

—

In which Alex has a hard time leaving the hotel after their night in Paris.

you’re leaving (now i’m left amongst the living)

Six years since they've been together, Alex and Henry were now a far cry from the lovestruck couple they once were when their history began. If you ask Alex, all of it was Henry’s fault. If you ask Henry, he’d agree and say that Alex was right.

But before Alex could ever find out why Henry does not seem like the man he once decided to spend the rest of his life with, he already walked away from it all. Now, Henry was alone, left to deal with whatever shattered remains he could salvage from his life.

Or, the one where Henry’s sick and Alex only finds out two years after they've broken up.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Lawyer Alex, Writer Henry, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Feels, Angst and Humor, Fluff and Angst, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Hospitalization

Fifty First Dates

Henry has used a dating app exactly one time. Predictably, the date turns out to be terrible. The bartender, however, is not.

OR

A cute stranger’s solution to Henry’s woeful dating life is to set him up on fifty first dates.

Most People Exist

Henry Fox is a nurse at the New York Cancer Center. He’s happy with his job, content enough with his life, but it all gets turned on its head when he connects with a patient with a brain tumor—Alex Claremont-Diaz.

———

Henry is a nurse, Alex is a patient.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Cancer, Nurses & Nursing, Minor Character Death, Falling In Love, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, They will end up happy I pinky swear

i want your dreary mondays

“You little menace,” a voice says from the door, entirely too fond to be anything mean. “I told you to wait by the car, not go inside.” The man steps inside, shaking the rain from his hair, and Henry is treated to the sight of the most beautiful man he’s seen in his entire life, standing in the middle of his shop with clothes dripping to the floor and raincoat bundled up around him. He notices then the umbrella clutched in the little boy’s hand, the innocent wide eyes watching his father, and the picture forms in his head.

Or, five times Henry makes a piece of art for Alex's son on his drinks, and one time he does it for Alex himself.

It's Nice to Have a Friend

Two boys meet on a beach, build a sand castle, write letters, and fall in love.

Tags: Alternative Universe - Childhood friends, Friends to lovers, Slow Burn, Growing up together

Leave A Message

"This is Alex Claremont-Diaz's phone. If it's a business matter, I don't know how you got ahold of this number, but if you have my number that means you probably have Zahra's. Call her instead. If you're friends or family, just text me. If you're anyone else, I'll call you back as soon as I can."

Or: Alex's voicemail message over the years, and the messages people leave for him.

I must tell you what you will not ask

Henry's lower lip wobbles, and a fresh tear rolls down his cheek. Alex watches it track down to his chin, and wonders if Henry would mind him wiping it away. “I really was looking forward to seeing them.”

Another tear escapes, and this time Alex can't help but lean forward and brush it away with his thumb. Henry's breath catches, and he looks at Alex, wearing an expression he can't quite parse. “Come home with me,” Alex blurts out.

Henry's plans for Christmas fall through, so Alex invites him home for the holidays. They're best friends, strictly platonic roommates, so why does everyone think they're dating?

drive-thru mornings

“Would you like to pay cash or by card, sir?”

Alex startles, but recovers quickly and smiles charmingly at the girl in the window. Maggie, her tag reads. “By card, darlin’,” he says. “Actually, could I pay for the man behind me, as well? I have no idea what he ordered, but he’s strikingly handsome, isn’t he?”

Tags: Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Dorks in love

you turned a moment (into forever)

Sharing an apartment with Alex had seemed like a good idea at first. They’re best friends, prices in Brooklyn are absurd, and they had both been in urgent need of residence – it only made sense.

Except for the small, tiny, teeny, barely there fact that Henry has been in love with Alex from the first moment he laid eyes on him. And the fact that Alex doesn’t know, and can never find out.

—

Or, as coffeecatsme so eloquently put it: Roommates AU where Alex has insomnia and slips into Henry’s bed every night because it’s the only way he gets a good night’s sleep.

You Can Hear It In The Silence

At the Lake House, Henry doesn’t run when Alex tells him he loves him. But he can’t say it back; too afraid of the consequences it would have, no matter how true it is. But as the truth settles in, Henry decides Alex is worth fighting for. So he does.

A Long Way From the Playground

Henry and Alex were best friends growing up until they went to separate colleges and they grew apart. When they see each other again as adults, against the odds, both living in the same city again, will it be a joyful reunion or will the pain of the years apart get in the way? How do you become friends again when there is so much of the past in the way?

Oblivion

The man starts to cock the hammer of gun, and Alex squeezes his eyes shut, his lower lip trembling almost imperceptibly.

“Stop!” Henry shouts, his voice cracking. “I’ll give you whatever you want, I’ll do anything…just please, don’t hurt him.”

Alex’s eyes fly open, shooting Henry the same incredulous look that he gave him in the hallway, and Henry knows he’s shown too much of his hand, revealed a part of himself that he’d sworn he would take to his grave, but he’s too full of fear and desperation to feel self-conscious about it now. He can deal with the consequences when they get out of this.

If they get out of this.

******

What if the moment in the hospital wasn’t a false alarm and the publicity surrounding the forced bromance between Alex and Henry had the adverse effect of them being kidnapped together?

Confidential Memorandum

"Hello, Mr. Fox-Mountchristen's office. How may I help you?"

"Hello, can I speak to Mr. Fox-Mount-krishen, please?"

Alex blinked. After two weeks of hearing nothing but the voices of snooty men and frazzled secretaries calling in, the person on the other line now sounded decidedly neither snooty nor male nor in any way adult.

It was a little girl.

"Mr. Fox-Mountchristen's unfortunately in a meeting right now,” Alex began slowly, “but I could take a message?"

"Oh." The girl paused. "You're not Mr. Hunter."

Alex starts a new job as Henry's new assistant. Henry's daughter keeps calling the office and leaving him messages.

we thought we ruled the world

Alex stares down at his latest text from Henry. A link to an article he’s seen about ten versions of so far. He’s managed to resist clicking on any of them, but now Henry is sending it, so he supposes he should at least give it a skim.

How Prince Henry’s Relationship With FSOTUS Lost Ellen Claremont The Election

............

Or, what would have happened if Ellen lost.

Run, Don't Walk

Henry loves sex. He loved sex even before he was with Alex, although there's something to be said for the level of precision and intimacy acquired through years of learning each other's bodies. He's liked being filled from the first time he ever experienced the feeling, and he doesn't think he'll ever love anything quite as much as he loves getting fucked.

But this? This is giving him pause for thought.

Tags: Porn without plot, Marathon sex, Henry loves sex, and Alex, and sex with Alex

london bridge has fallen down

Alex can feel the eyes of the room on him as Shaan approaches his side. Then, Shaan quietly murmurs in his ear. They’re words he’s thought about before, distantly wondering about what might happen when they were finally uttered. How their lives might change. There’s nothing that can prepare him for the reality of it though, nothing that can prepare him for how his breath hitches when Shaan speaks.

‘London Bridge is down, Sir.’ 

---

Queen Mary is dead. Henry doesn't know how to feel.

Screw Your Courage to the Sticking Place (and forget macbeth is a fucking tragedy)

"You don't owe me anything."

"Of course I do. If you have time now...there are things I'd like to say."

Alex hesitates.

"I know I don't have any right to ask you to listen," Henry adds. He sounds so hopeful though.

A little closure doesn't sound like a terrible thing. Agreeing to go with Henry, alone, to Kensington Palace sounds like returning to the scene of a crime.

It's been over a decade since their breakup - Alex is now a single dad forging his career as a lawyer, and Henry's finally getting the courage to stand up to his grandmother. In finding themselves, can they also find their way back to each other?

[fluffy-alien]

do hazbin for the meme!

Kisses you on the forehead. Thank you. ❤️

Who's the most ticklish character:

I just want to say all of them!!! That's like picking a favourite!

My twisted little heart is thinking about Lucifer. Most powerful being in Hell, brought to his knees by a little fluttering? Who doesn't love that trope?!

I think he's one big ticklish spot; and Charlie definitely took after him in that regard. The apple doesn't fall far. ❤️

Who's the character that most people would assume is ticklish, but actually isn't:

They're all ticklish. Don't come here with that nonsense.

Who's the character that everyone gangs up on and tickles:

Sir Pentious! My little guy! This man can't catch a goddamn break. I think his friends(found family aw) gangs up on him quite frequently. He just makes it so easy. Actively turning all the way around to look away, whenever anyone tickles someone in the hotel. He can't stand the sight! It makes his whole body tingle! And if he looks, he looks hard. It makes everyone uncomfortable. You're unsettling, Pent!

His friends gang up on him if he stares too hard. Let him have his fill, even if he screams and claims he isn't at all ticklish! He hates it, in fact(no he doesn't).

Who's the character that somehow knows everyone else's tickle spots and reveals them to others:

I feel like Vox has gained that nugget of information by happenstance. He has camera's everywhere in Hell, and has everything filed away accordingly. I don't think he's a freak about it, but if he finds out that someone he has beef with is ticklish, he will either use it as blackmail or just straight up broadcast it, as if anyone else but him gives a shit. He's petty as hell. He shares the information with Velvette as well, so she can post about it on Sinstergram. You know she lives for public humiliation.

Who's the character with one specific tickle spot that only one other person knows about:

My first thought was Niffty being close enough to Alastor to know this. But while they're very sweet together, the honor goes to Rosie. Sweet Rosie is handsy as hell with Al, and you can't convince me that he hasn't had her hands in his hair. Gracing her long fingernails over his ears; hearing a stiffled snort as a reward. No one must know. Rosie is chatty and loves some hot gossip, but this one thing she has sworn to secrecy. She loves dear Al too much to embarrass him like that. But you know she has gone for the kill a couple of times; just to remind him who he's sassing at.

Who's the most likely to win gang tickle wars:

My heart says Angel, but my brain says Alastor. Angel because six arms isn't something to sneeze at. And he's way more likely to engage.

But Alastor has his tentacles... Yeah. He would wreck shop. He just doesn't play that game very often. But holy shit, is he smug about it when he does. Tickle king.

Which character has a kink for tickling:

Valentino. Hello. The man who wears all the hats. I think every character is plenty capable of having a tickle kink, but I'm putting my money on the moth. You want soft and sweet? You came to the wroooong place! He sucks. Doesn't believe in safe words. It's just tickling. Don't be dramatic.

Which character didn't even know they were ticklish until another character tickled them:

Sweet Husk. Oh, I love him. Not really into the whole... Physical affection thing(yeah, right). While I have a hard time believing that he went through life never getting tickled, maybe he isn't aware of his demon form still being ticklish. And it might've startled him when Angel(of course) graced his fingers over the pads in his hand. Angel didn't catch on then, be he for sure found out later and felt cheated out of so many lost opportunities to tickle his precious bartender! The absolute audacity to keep that secret!

Which two characters have tickle fights all the time:

It's a tie between Charlie and Vaggie / Angel and Cherri!

Charlie instigates tickle fights every goddamn night before bed and I can't be convinced otherwise. She'll get hyperactive when she gets ready for bed, and needs a few minutes of dumb fun before she can get some sleep. Vaggie would pretend she hated it, but has since accepted Charlie's routine and even instigates a fight, if she happens to get into her pajamas, before Charlie. Plus, it's nice to help Charlie relax after a stressful day of rehabilitation.

Angel and Cherri trusts each other with their lives(quite literally) and that also means that they trust each other with their most secret spots.

Angel is unmatched in tickle fights! Six arms comes to good use; but he doesn't always use all six, only because he wants to at least give Cherri a fighting chance to win. She rarely does, tho. Cherri is explosive in her personality and loves to start shit, even if she knows she'll lose. Angel has since pointed it out and teases her about wanting to get wrecked.

She started fighting back with more vigor after that. She isn't allowed to touch his feet tho. Fuck off.

[subwaysurf45]

Is it possible to do something with Bucky (maybe protective Bucky? Only if you feel it fits well though) learning that you were groomed and gaslit by an abusive ex when he sees how you’re still fighting to trust your own brain and re-learn what’s real and what your ex put in your head? I’m speaking out about my abusive ex after a year and a half of keeping quiet, and I could just use some comfort if that’s okay 🥺

hey love, of course, I can write this for you. it takes a lot of bravery for you to talk about your past experiences, I'm truly in awe. I would love to add some comfort and make a little gift for you and others who are speaking out!

Warnings: mentions of previous abuse, crying, mentinos of grooming, angsty stuff. 

You stood behind the corner of the bedroom, and you could see Bucky sitting on the couch on his phone. He was wearing a dress shirt and dress pants, and a few top buttons of his shirt were undone so you could see the silver chain peak through but not the dog tags.

your hands smoothed down the front of your dress but then quickly pulled the top up to cover your chest, not doing anything to change how the dress sat on. your body.

The online order said it would fit your measurements but it was small, most likely it was supposed to be like that but you haven't worn a cocktail dress since before your last boyfriend.

no one, not even your parents, knew about the relationship. it was embarrassing to you that you let yourself fall into the trap of your boss. part of you thought you were smarter than that, but the other part wouldn't stop falling for his sweet words. 

Bucky kept his eyes on his phone, "Let me know when you're ready, baby!" he called, not aggressively but loud enough to reach the washroom; that's where you told him you were.

Deep breath.

you walked around the corner and into the living room, standing in front of Bucky and smoothing the dress down again. "is this okay?"

Bucky stayed quiet for a while, "wow," he whispered, "honey, you looked great - you're definitely in the dress code, it's perfect!" he stood up and got an eye full, you let him check you in case he found something he didn't like.

"but is it okay?" you leaned forward, you weren't asking about the resturants dress code.

Bucky's speechless face fell for a moment before reaching out and touching your hips, "yes, babe, it's great," he pulled you into a hug, "you look great, you're not overdressed or underdressed - if that's what you're worried about."

you sighed, "I'm not worried about that dress code, Buck." Your arms wrapped around him.

Bucky leaned back but not too far to break your hold, "honey, if you feel uncomfortable, you can change, don't wear something for me," he smiled, "but if you want to wear that dress, I'll beat up any guy who even looks at you."

"No," you covered your face with your hands, "can you just approve this dress? are you okay with this much skin and this much makeup and this much...everything?" You slapped both hands on your thighs in frustration.

Bucky tilted his head to the side, "approve?" he was aware of your past relationship but you didn't tell him much to protect him, the moment you let your old Boss' name slip he'd be a dead man walking.

"yeah," you shrugged, "do you approve of this dress?"

"Why wouldn't I?" He took your hand, "is this a thing?" he wasn't mocking, he was asking without bringing up any triggering words. the moment you nodded he pulled you into another hug, "baby, I've said it once and I'll say it again: I really think you need to tell me everything or at least a therapist, you've gotten so much better but these little things, I mean, it kills to watch you get so worried and I don't even know what you're feeling." His hand cupped your cheek, trying to get you to look at him but your eyes were casted down. 

your lip began to tremble, “sorry,” you whispered, “I know you wanted to go out tonight, I’m just ruining it,” you couldn’t be more quiet as you spoke to the floor. 

Bukcy sighed, “don’t let them win, honey,” he cupped your cheek, softly swiping his thumb to collect your tears. “If you’re really not feeling it, I understand and we’ll stay in tonight, let me know.” 

you took a deep breath and Bucky copied, part of you liked the feeling of his breath on your face to sooth you. “Okay,” you wiped your tears, “I won’t let them win and we can go, just let me fix my makeup.” 

Bucky let your hand slip from his as you scurried off to the bathroom, he stood there and listened to you. his chest hurt from seeing the effects of past boyfriends still cling onto you, he knew you had healed so much but there were little things that never budged. 

when you came out you took another deep breath and grabbed Bucky’s hand, walking out of the door and to the streel to hail a cab. 

Tag List: 

@jackiehollanderr @tylard-blog1 @readingbooksdrinkingtea @linzc-reader @hotleaf-juice @honeybunchesofbucky @munsonettee @seybox @yaszx @happyt0exist @sky0401 @striving4averagegirl @searchf0rtheskyline @aya-fay @emi11ie @wbyss @luvrsbian

hey, I think I figured myt aglist out - this is my greatest enemy I think. Anyways, if you would like to be added to my taglist please send an ask, that is the only way you’ll get there folks!

[pebblume]

guys i haven’t had time to write in weeks and it’s driving me INSANE. to help cope here are a bunch of percabeth fic ideas i have rattling around my brain that i may or may not get around to writing at some point

annabeth is assigned for cabin inspection and percy slept in (cue speed cleaning and attempted flattery and bribery to avoid punishment). this one is deeply unserious

since we didn’t get it in the show with the spider trap in the tunnel of love i’d love to write some other situation where annabeth gets scared by spiders and percy helps her through it and they talk about their fears 

ok ok. hear me out. pjo tv trio watching the lightning thief musical. i’m normally not into “characters watch their own media” type fics, but i think it could be fun to write while also allowing for some introspection! they’re just experiencing this weird uncanny valley where everything is familiar but it’s so different at the same time and also everyone is singing?? percy laughs at his own jokes of course and grover is a theatre kid so he’s nerding out and annabeth is confused (the only musical she’s ever seen is the wizard of oz) but entertained. i think it could be silly

lovesick au with an extra dose of angst. percy gets accidentally drugged with aphrodite’s love magic (and naturally annabeth is the first person he sees) so now she has to deal with a very clingy percy who's sweet and considerate and would do anything she asked but it's not her percy. like she wanted him to like her back but not like this ;-; happy ending tho obviously

hypervigilance and hyperfixation - annabeth has always had to be aware of her surroundings and never let her guard down (ptsd from her childhood and being a demigod), until this boy comes into her life and now all her attention zones in on him whenever he’s within a 50 yard radius. just a little drabble on all the little things you notice when you’re constantly aware of your crush and how even their annoying habits or flaws become hopelessly endearing

annabeth with glasses would be so cute?? (credit to @vicwritesfic for the idea!). basically just some percabeth moments told through glasses: annabeth first getting them and percy helping her feel comfortable with them when she gets self conscious, annabeth losing them in the lake and percy retrieving them, percy trying her glasses on because i think that’s a universal glasses wearer experience, percy finding her asleep at her desk with her glasses askew and taking them off gently, etc. etc. you get the idea

ok y’all know that saying that’s like “you know you like your crush when they get an awful haircut and they’re still attractive to you”? that’s it, that’s the fic. i’m thinking percy gets an unwilling haircut and he gets all embarrassed because his head is a fuzzy egg now, but annabeth still finds him cute because she's down catastrophically bad. he gets his curls back at the end tho don’t worry!

percy is cursed to be honest when he lies to a god and now he can’t stop telling annabeth how pretty her eyes are and how much he admires her; he can’t even use sarcasm - he’s defenseless! basically an excuse for me to torture percy and make him finally talk about his feelings

post tlt. annabeth ran away again after fighting with her father, but instead of going back to camp she goes to stay with the jackson’s (with the obligatory shows-up-on-their-doorstep-sopping-wet-and-pathetic scene and sally decides to adopt her immediately). it was supposed to be for a weekend, but percy convinces her to just stay until they have to go back to camp (about three weeks) and cute domestic shenanigans (and angst) ensue!

percy just got his driver's license after the titan war and takes annabeth for a ride to montauk to meet grover (she obviously has to tease him about the time he was 12 and crashed a car because he was too busy looking into her eyes). they sing along to their favorite songs and percy gets road rage and they stop for ice cream. basically a chance for them to be normal teens because they deserve it!

pen pal au where percy and annabeth write each other letters during the school year (takes place after tlt). just little moments in their lives told through letters and photos and mementos (sally insists on express mailing annabeth blue cookies after a fight with her parents ofc). it’s not the same as having each other there in person, but it helps with the distance. my way of coping with the hiatus between tlt and SoM ;-;

bi percabeth my beloved!! fic about percy’s bi awakening after reflecting on all his boy crushes (childhood friend, luke, beckendorf, etc). he comes out to annabeth after the war and they have this very touching moment where they talk and hug it out. then annabeth is like “oh also I like girls” “you couldn’t have led with that??” “i didn’t want to steal your moment!”

i've also been drafting out some percy pov chapters to my fics "i miss you like a little kid", "nothing's going to hurt you baby", and "punched in the gut (feels like being in love" so those are in the works!!

phew. and that's not even all of them (i think about them an unhealthy amount). i miss writing these two so much, but i won't really have a chance to breath from my school work until spring break so wish me luck ;-;

as always you can find my finished fics here :3

[xmorguekittyx]

Ever Locked

Part 6: What More Could You Want?

Part 5: Now You Know From What

pairing: Older!Leon Kennedy x Ex!Coroner’s Assistant!Reader

warnings: masterbating, cowgirl, peepingtom!Leon, stalker!Leon, talks of drugging, talks of sex

Dead Dove Do Not Eat

extra: gonna shoot for once a week updates for as long as i have 10 hour shifts, im hoping in december they stop. i really can’t stand this job you guys and i feel like my writing reflects how little time i have but don’t give up on me! im not giving up and i really want to get immersed into this world im creating for Leon and Reader!

Everything. I couldn't tear her down, tell her about the horrendous creatures I saw that god awful night. She didn't realize how much danger she was in, those- those people- they didn't help any. Mary, Marie, Marina- whatever her name was, she was one of those people, watching as they ate. My pretty girl rolling her eyes as the blue haired girl spoke, pointing her fork at my sweet bunny. Sweet, saccharine bunny. She was so far but so close, it's like her scent intertwined with mine, keeping her just in my mind enough for my peace to stay fleeting.

The device sits on the desk, the dark hotel room, once again, a comfort for a passing moment. Ice tapping on the glass, a sound to break the stoic silence as the glass rolls on the edge of the glass, fingers directing the liquor to tip from side to side. Screen flashing as texts spiral in. 'Leon, you're a literal asshole. Rebecca's worried and least you could do was tell us why you're in Seattle fucking Washington. Can you not get a good feel of Washington in D.C.?.', a scoff came from the back of my throat, of course. He always thought i needed to be baby sat, needed someone watching my every move like a rat in a cage. D.S.O could survive a few days while i got my plan in place. The rim of the glass pressed to the scruffy part of my bottom lip, cold and smooth before i lift it higher, downing the liquid, feeling it burn the back of my throat as a moan left my lips.

Slipping my fingers under the device, flipping it open to show the keypad. Fingers typing quickly as the buzz filled my mind. Can't lose the confidence i had quickly built, by the time my fingers had finished the message, the feeling of untouchable power slipped away, before hitting the button to send it to the woman who threw my mind in a pandora's box of thoughts. The bubble stays for seconds, then minutes. Surely, she's seen it. She hadn't been too dismissive of my return. Answering my call and talking to me, almost edging me into a state of euphoria to know that maybe, just maybe, i'd dug myself into her brain enough to keep her baited.

Thoughts of hopping on my bike and barreling to the little home, pushing my way into the door way to find her... all prettied up for that damned boyfriend she had. My head lulled into the crook of my arm, the warmth of my own skin causing a flush to come across my cheeks, heating up the skin, flushing it, bending my back into an uncomfortable arch. Wondered what she felt like, if she was still embarrassed when she stopped nude, if she'd grown confidence and thought she was as beautiful as she always had been. I just wanted a taste, a lick of her delicate flesh, watching the skin as it dimpled under my fingers, causing her eyes to roll back and her words to become less than whispers. Her needy little moans cut off prematurely as i felt for more, pressing into the skin more as she whined.

  With those questions came more, did she like the way he was with her? Was he soft and sweet on her, caressing her delicate skin with his tongue and grateful for every second he had the chance to touch her? He wouldn't have it long, not much longer and Od finally have the moment of weakness and snatch her away. Maybe drug her, maybe let her fight back. A pulling at the corner of my lips curled into a smirk, thinking of her holding up a knife and trying to stab at me, unlike the night she froze, staring from the corner of her doe eyes, watching a big bad wolf show its fangs so deathly close to the fragile bunny. To kiss death and fate so tenderly before succumbing to its hand- or in this case, a mug. The sound of her head cracking against the glass then floor rant through my mind. I couldn't help it, she was so... idiotic and pretty. A simple minded creature needing guidance in a world full of snakes and predators, looking for easy, pretty, temping prey.

  My eyes flicker to the phone once more, expecting anything, something from the prey. Nothing, not a damn thing. No 'don't message me ever again's or 'im going to call the police, Leon's. Nothing. That, that made me feel a nasty pit in my stomach, the thoughts of driving over to their home and seeing for myself what had her so airheaded she couldn't reply to a message. Maybe even see how Ryland- Ryan- touched her, was he too delicate? Did he know that she does like it rough, at least a little? Was he too rough, leaving her nervous and frightened? The thought kind of turned him on, imagining how leaving him did nothing but potentially put you in another psycho's arms.

  The thoughts became actions as the keys jingled from the grip i had on them, maybe i was still a bit more protective than i needed to be. This was for her safety, damnit. Nothing beat trying to keep those predators from her, than a predator himself. Every red light felt like it was hours long, leg bouncing, waiting for the light to change into that 'go' green. Eyes watching streetlights become blurs as the distance closes from between her and I. I can almost feel her, almost taste that sweet taste that only she can produce for my senses to take in.

  My heart ramps up as i get to the small drive way, turning off the lights to my bike, parking up at the tip of the path. Couldn't let her get a peek, she knew too much. I liked to rush things, like letting her see me and talking to her, setting up what i wanted to be a comfort, letting her know i'm not angry at her for leaving me, she didn't have to stay with this guy anymore, now. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, as i feel the ground shift, legs nearly buckling as the only window with lights stemming from it, catch my attention. Guiding my wavering stance to push forwards, as my fingers wrap around the frame, it hits me. Seeping into my ears a soft 'Ah, ah, ah, Ry~', muffled by the wall separating us, her voice was so dirty, something enough to send me straight to hell for the things i think of her. A temptress shied away into a human body.

  "Ryan~", my eyes snap up at her voice, my eyes nest pop out at the scene. "Yeah, did he make you feel this good? Bet he didn't.", Ryan's deep voice, echoing around the room as soft slaps of flesh on flesh sound out. His hands dug under her thighs as he assisted her in riding him. Keeping her pace for herself and him, watching his cock head nearly slip from her hole had my cock weeping. Her hair falling over that face, eyes closed and head back as she whined, crying silently as he abused her little cunt. How is wanted to just walk in there and force my way into those velvety walls and take what was and IS mine. Her whines were accompanied by a smack, landing on her ass as she bounced on him. "Dirty bitch- can't have me loving on you sweet and soft-", Ryan's head tilted back against the pillow, their black bed sheets all bunched up and messy. "Gotta be treated like some cheap slut.", he groaned as her hips bucked up. "Dirty bitch...", i couldn't help but repeat, seeing how her hips filled out in 7 years, watching her tits bounce and her arms tense as she struggled to keep herself upright on his cock. Her cunt- MY cunt- sucking him in with a squelching sound, her moans followed by a whimper as she lost her rhythm. "Good girl- fuck-!", his hands dig into the plump of her hip, "gonna snap my cock in half, pretty.", the huff of air falling from my nostrils fogged the glass as i hadn't realized i'd moved so close, watching as my girl, my bunny, came apart on another man's cock. It made me fucking sick.

My fingers came up, flipping the phone until it opened, scrolling to get to my camera before snapping a picture of Ryan, who now has moved to bend her over the bed, snapping his hips quickly into her. The picture was shitty quality, but it DEFINITELY got the point across as I hit the send button, patience is a virtue i never really had. Eager impatience, sheer excitement causing me to become annoying as a rookie. The muscles in my jaw ached, from biting back a moan as i palmed myself over my jeans, also aching from how tense i'd been while watching. The stiffness of my cock had be aching for some type of pleasure, pulling my jeans to my knees as i whip it out. Looking at it in the moon light, it was so flushed pink, begging to find a home in that pussy, eyes lingering on his hips as they lost themselves into a bliss, his bunny's face pressed into the mattress, just an opening from her eyes and he'd run. He felt his palm heating up as he pumped his aching cock, watching her lips part into a wince/moan. He felt his cock twitch, spilling white sticky ropes over a plant by the window. "Shit-", i hissed, realizing this is definitely evidence i was here, but it was meant to rain more tonight, he'd be fine. He always was.

  Now she didn't care to look or open her eyes while her love was blowing back shot after back shot into her right pussy. Ryan's hand ran her back, easing her up into his chest. "Good girl, my good slut.", his hands brushed down her hair, comforting her after such a rough scene. I wanted to scream, that should be me, holding her in my arms, coaxing her into relaxation. I have a house, much bigger than this that she can have entirely to herself, one I built for her. She'd be so grateful if she'd just talk to me. Just let me "repair" the damage I'd caused. I wouldn't totally rush her, but imaging a world where she was swole, child on her hip and cheeks rosy from leaning over some food she'd been preparing, her eyes wide as I walk home and get to place a huge kiss on her lips, tasting the food on her lips, as she cooked his favorite meal.

  My hand slowly pumped out the rest, watching as she reached up for her phone. Ryan holding into her as she grabbed it and yelped, she must've see the photo. The phone in his pockets dinging as he used his non cum covered hand struggling as to not drop the phone but as soon as he opens the device. Bunny's name, her contact completely, the same from 7 years ago as it flashed on the screen, he ducked, quickly, laying in a thorn bush. Damn Chris, always blowing up my fucking phone for some sort of reaching out to get me to come back or explain myself… how do i explain what i’m doing? "Fuck~", I whined, looking up as I saw my bunny close to the window looking off into the distance, looking for me as she buttoned up what looked like one of Ryan's shirts. It hurt... but what more could i want? what more could you want, bunny?

[nawoken]

Okay, let's write something really really small today (-.-). I have an exam in a day but I'm still here without a word inside my brain. :')

Soooo, today, what will we have for late-night snacks. Something small, and easy to consume.

Let's do "Rating NRC boys' boyfriend material"? I used to do this before (inside my head), let's see if I remember it. This is only my personal feeling so please don't see this seriously.

Part 2: Here

I will use "tier list" thingy to rate them (S, A, B,..)

Heartslabyul:

Riddle: A

He is a tough case, sweet but also super strict. If you date him, you must also follow some "few" rules he sets out, not my thing though. Easily embarrassed due to not being used to receiving affection, he was not sure what to do in those moments. Probably clingy without even knowing.

Adorable for sure, have high expectations for you, and treat you right. If you struggle with studying, he will build a study plan and tutor you himself. Have high self-awareness and responsibility, he is a trustworthy boyfriend.

But when you date him, be prepared to have a long fight with his mother. He will try to not let it happen, but he is torn apart. Should ask Trey for help.

Trey: S+

He is calm, he can be relied on, he is mature, and he knows how to cook?! He is husband material, not boyfriend material anymore. He is a fox type, mischievous, and can be manipulated, but subtle and he won't do that to you.

He is calm and kind, yes. But also secretly scary, you know? He has this dark aura when something not to his liking happens, like when Deuce Stum destroys Heartslabyul's kitchen. So if you prank him a little bit too far... good luck, ehe. ;3

Cater: A+

I don't have much to say about him. He acts as a carefree and joyful person but is actually an alert and decisive person. He is also reliable when there is a dangerous situation happens. It feels like he is the type who will always care about your feelings, maybe even more than himself.

So, if you also do that to him, care about his needs, respect, and support his decision then he can be super emotional.

But I think he should talk more, the habit of keeping things to himself is not a good thing to do. Like, if he doesn't like sweets, please tell, don't try to eat what you hate.

Ace: B

I have this problem with favoritism, it's something with Heartslabyul is the first dorm we interact in the game, and Ace is also one of our first friends at school so I like him quite a lot. But well, after thinking about this for quite a while, I can only rate him as "B". He is definitely "S++" for a good friend but about dating? He is not mature enough, used to ghost his girlfriend in middle school because he think she is boring?! Then even had the nerve to say dating was a pain?!

So, unless he is helplessly in love with you, if not?... Dumb him before he can dumb you, two can play this game. Should be "D" but well, "B" for favoritism.

Deuce: S-

As a glutton, he can cook? He is highly rated already, surely it's not because of favoritism. He is not mature enough for my liking but puppy type makes me want to pamper him. Surprisingly naive, I have a feeling he's the type who still believes that "the baby was brought to parents by storks" and you can't make me think otherwise.

Easily embarrassed and overwhelmed by actions that show affection toward him, but also extremely serious about the relationship. Will do everything you said and try his best to fulfill your wish.

Savanaclaw:

Leona: A

He is lazy, but he is rich. He won't do things as you said... easily. What do you mean by he should clean his room? Let Ruggie do it, he pays him for this. Complaining and mocking a lot, but if you look at him with a serious face, he will sigh and then work on your words while complaining of course, what do you think. But, there's this calm moment when you guys cuddle and sleep until you are late for class.

He might tease you pretty much but when you have a bad day, he will be super soft and warm toward you. Won't let bad things happen to you. You are his, only him can cause you trouble. (Punch him!)

Ruggie: A+

He can clean, cook, and knows how to earn and save money. But he doesn't have much time for you, please understand. But he will treasure your times with each other, with cuddles. He is not rich, he can't give you a ton of gifts, or take you out for dinner. You guys might spend dating time in the laundry room.

But, that's okay, he is sweet and caring. Do you see how he tries his best all of the time? It's for his family and also for the children in his neighborhood. If you are just anyone, he can and will use you, but you're his significant other, he will treat you with the utmost care, and always do his best for ya.

Jack: S+

Oh, what do we have here? A tsundere :))

But he is not the aggressive type of tsun, a cute and soft one actually, a bit shy but looking at his wagging tail is really entertaining. Dating him is like living in a cotton candy world, he is super caring, and gentle. A true gentleman! He will open a water bottle and carry your bag for you before you even need to ask.

He is a wolf hybrid after all, he has to protect his pack, and dating him means you're also part of his pack. Basically, he will be protective of you. Isn't it touchy?

Octavinelle:

Azul: S

Dude is cold and decisive in business but in love life?... haha. Unless the relationship is forming due to a deal, if he is down bad for you then... Tease him, and he will become a stuttering mess, kiss him and he will faint from overheating. Suffering from happiness I guess?

If you don't know about his past, he might act tough and collected but if you do know, then this guy is one of the insecure group members (I wonder who is the other member). A gentleman, a little bit awkward but he is too cute to complain. Cup his face in your hands and compliment him with your softest voice, please. He might cry if you do it. (Ơ v Ơ)

Jade: ...D no, kidding M for Manipulate

Also a fox type, but he is much more dangerous than Trey. He is manipulated for sure and you don't even realize it. Have a feeling that he can make you think that everything is your idea but it's actually his.

He wants to go to this place for vacation with you? Information, advertisements, and discounts for couples about that place started to appear around you and suddenly you want to spend your next day off with him there. Of course, your wish is his command (^v^).

But well, other than that, he's quite chill and collected. He can cook but can't keep his hand to himself, I hope you like mushrooms.

Floyd: U for Unpredictable

Urgh, these twins, why are they so hard to rate? Floyd is unpredictable for me. I don't know how should I rate him at this point. His mood is swinging worse than the weather. He can be a good boyfriend, a bit clingy and childish at some point. Also protective and cool the other time.

But I have the feeling, that if he feels this relationship is boring, he can be worse than Ace. He doesn't know what a love relationship is like, he just knows he thinks you are cute and interesting, then, you're his property. Can be good, can be bad but, I like to think, that if he is head over heel for you, then you will have the cutest eel as your lover.

He's not in a good mood? You will have the scene where you pamper him in your embrace while he blushes a bit, but is super calm, hiding his face in your hands. Quiet and warm moment right there.

Scarabia:

Kalim: A-

I love Kalim, but he can be a little bit too much. But, he is willing to learn! Might forget right after due to excitement though. A sweet boy with full of love and energy, a true extrovert! A nightmare for introverts, but I'm an ambivert so... no. The type to pull you to the middle of the dance floor. Can be a scary experience for social anxiety people.

Gave you a bunch of gifts, this is one of his love languages. But, it can be too much for you, the feeling of you can't give him anything good but he kept pouring things on you.

But he respects you, so you should talk to him about it with your most serious tone or he might treat it like Jamil's case. Don't act too aggressively, just stay calm.

Jamil: S

Again, I'm a glutton, he can cook? He's husband material. Not to mention, he can clean, he can dance, he is mature and reliable. He can seem a bit cold but I think he will treat his lover with utmost care. He will show it through action, not words though, bro is a bit shy with it.

He said he likes to make everyone do as he said, but I don't really have the feeling that he will do that to his love, not that intense. He likes it when you listen to him, but won't force you if you don't want to.

The only reason he is not "S+" tier for me is he is afraid of bugs and I am too. If there is a bug appeared, and there are only me and him at that place. The next moment, you guys will see us standing outside with a burning house behind us.

Pomefiore:

Vil: B

I really like him tbh. Might be my favorite character. But, sorry Vil, for me, he is not suitable as a lover.

He is super strict about your diet, your fashion, and your behavior, if you also care about those things then he is your dream man. It's just not my thing. But he is caring and knows how to treat you right for sure. Will shopping with you, take you to a fancy restaurant for a date night.

All of those things, he is supposed to be a top-tier lover. But well, are you ready to face his fans? He is famous with lots of fans, and you know, they may take extreme actions in the name of love. If you guys public, they will judge you on how you look, are you worthy of him? Some will chase you down with horrible action.

Of course, Vil will protect you, but well, I am just terrified of those kinds of stuff. Should be "S" tier but... "B"

Rook: A+

Even when he is a stalker and a bit of drama. But... he is a good boyfriend for sure. Strong, mature, calm, and can be counted on. You got a trouble? You don't even need to tell him, he already knows. Words are how he shows you his love, but it's extremely embarrassing, hope your skin is thick enough, or else you might burning.

Other than that, hope you are also a Neige fan. Seeing his room in his dream, you might have to hear him talk about Neige a lot. Respect you if you don't want to hear it though.

His only downside is he is a lil bit creepy but other than that, he is a cool lover to have.

Epel: A

He is a bundle of energy, not a sunshine one though, a destructive one. He is quite competitive and mischievous. He can punch, he can kick, and he can fight, please see him seriously, he is a strong man. Do anything to prove it, even when you insist that you're okay with carrying your own bag. And that's really sweet of him.

Gifts you a lot of his hometown specialties, and takes you there on vacation also. He is proud of his hometown after all, and he wants you to love it as much as him.

Sometimes his competitiveness gets the better of him, so he might get into quite a lot of trouble. But, luckily Vil already handle that. Until the "Fairest one of all" looked at you with piercing eyes for not controlling your boyfriend's actions. And you may or may not have to join Epel training so you guys can become a good match

~~~~~~

Yes, want to do something small or fun or both, I want to finish everything in only one post. But now I know, 22 it's not something I can finish in a day :'))))

I won't post anything tomorrow since I have an exam, then I will rest a bit. Part 2 should be faster since I only have Ingihyde and Diasomnia left.

Can't really rate anyone to low though, I like them :') (sorry Vil)

Again, I only do this for fun and content so don't take it too seriously. Thank you~

The next part for "TWST and Gravity Falls" will come later since I still need more ideas for it, I already have something written down. But actually, it was part of the previous, I cut it out due to the last part being too long and I don't have enough energy to continue.

Love you guys, see ya.

[wrr000]

＂ｓａｙ　ｙｅｓ　ｔｏ　ｈｅａｖｅｎ＂

- Heimdall oneshot, this is actually a really short and cut scene from fanfic about my oc and him, but I wanted to show you guys a little bit of this idea, ik it's stupid, I wrote this for comfort

TO PEOPLE WHO REQUESTED SOMETHING: don't worry, I'm working on it!

Summary: gender neutral reader, there is a party in Odin's place, reader is REALLY awkward, reading mind is kinda an intimate and emotional moment (pls don't cringe)

Warning: Heimdall insulting reader, really short

Enjoy!

You walked in. You turned red as the heat from the hall hit you. There was a smell of alcohol and roasted meat in the air. People were drinking and laughing, sitting at tables full of food. Your friends were here, God of Thunder and his family and even Odin himself.

But you didn't care.

Your eyes were searching for one person.

The most beautiful Aesir.

From table to table, from one figure to another, you finally got him. He was leaning against the wall, alone, drinking someting from wood mug. He just watched the others having fun. As always. You knew he wasn't into parties.

Your face become more red and heart was beating faster. You were nervous.

You wanted to watch him for a moment longer. Tall, slender and relaxed. His golded brains shimmering in the light with his slight movements. And those amazing purple eyes.

Oh shit, he spotted you.

You nervously began to wrinkle your dress. New dress, especially for him. Because yes, you had a crush on Heimdall. At first, everyone was telling you to stay away from this asshole. And you tried. You didn't even had to try actually, he pushes you away the moment he opens his mouth. But when one day to manage to have a normal conversation (hard to say it was "normal", but normal for Heimdall) with him - you changed. Your feelings had change.

But you knew you never had a chance. He was a God - and you don't. Besides, he probably despised you, so why did you even try? And yet you... Tried. Impress him. Make him think that you're pretty. You came to that party for him. To spend time with your lover.

In and out. You took a deep breath. In and out. Breath, remember to breath.

You started to walk towards him with a little gentle smile. He knew that. Well, he knew everything, why you are here and what's up with that dress ("It was a stupid idea", you cursed yourself in mind). But you needed to overcome your growing feeling of embarrassement.

And there you were. Standing right in front of him, unable to speak. You started to panic. What's gotten into you today? "Say something", you thought, trying to collect words in your head and form a sentence.

"Struggling much with basic activity? I didn't know you couldn't even speak properly", Heimdall said, taking a sip from his mug.

"Well, yes, I mean no!", you finally spoke, "You aren't a big fan of events like this, hm?", stupid! Why are you asking this??? You talked about it before! Even without it you knew, everyone was talking about how unpopular at parties he was.

"Stop asking question when you already knows an asnwer. Be less stupid, please", he set his empty mug aside, "I know you wanna say something better, you've got your mind on me, after all".

You cursed yourself for being so messy and bashful around him?! You were an adult! You could fight, but not talk to other being? What was happening to you? And stop thinking so much!

"I'm just playing, sunshine. No need to be so nervous", a smirk appeared on his face.

You wanted to react somehow, but he suddenly take a few steps towards you, cutting the distance between you two. He was just about to step into your personal space. You slightly lift up your head to look at his face. You gulped.

"This dress isn't the best, but since you humilite yourself for me I won't embarrass you this time", well damn, you really should think less in his presence. Or maybe think more about why you love someone like him, yeah, it's worth thinking.

He took your hand. You were shaking, but still smilling at him, a bit less than before. You needed to play it cool and don't competely panic. Your back got hot and knees a little weak. You thought you are gonna faint. It was harder to breath in every second.

Heimdall was holding your hand, looking with those hypnotazing eyes right at you. And you could just stare and let him read your mind. That you find him interesting, smart, handsome and don't as bad as everyone said. His cheeks turned almost invisible red.

It felt like a heart-to-heart talk even you nor him said a word. And it was good feeling. You started to think. Maybe you had a chance? Maybe.. He likes you back? You didn't want to even think about it before. You tried to shut this idea down, but in that moment... He felt so close at hand. So close.

"You are so brainless", a laugh escaped his thin, red lips.

And, again to your suprise, he bowed slightly before you had a chance to react.

"But will you dance with me?", you gasped, didn't know what to say. Is it happening, really? Maybe you are dead?, "No, you're not dead. It's happening and you better say 'yes' to me, dummy, I won't ask again".

"I- W.. With pleasure", you finally spoke, still in shock, but very happy.

You couldn't stop smiling, hot-red faced. It was so unreal. You couldn't believe. After having eye on him for quite time - he's asking you to dance. It's must be either dream or Valhalla.

You allowed him to led you to the center of the hall. Everyone was staring.

But you didn't saw them anymore.

Your eyes were locked at Heimdall and only him.

When you were about to start dancing, he pulled you to him, grabbing your wrist. You could feel his warm body pressed against yours. Your both hands gently rested at his shoulders.

Then he whispered into your ear:

"The night is still young, sunshine and I really don't like your dress".

[loveistrueblue]

hi guys, this is a post seeking advice from anyone who has experience with going nonverbal. my experience in particular is due to PTSD/trauma (possibly undiagnosed autism, i truthfully am not sure, i do not have the resources nor money at this moment in time to be able to get a diagnosis, but it’s something i have hoped to look into when i am able), but advice about going nonverbal in general, regardless of reason, still would be appreciated. i just genuinely don’t know where else to seek advice at the moment.

as i’ve mentioned in passing a couple of times here, i experienced a sexual assault a little over a year ago. it has been really difficult adjusting after that kind of an experience and it’s been a very slow process of trying to get my life back.

one of the things i have been struggling with has been this: my fight or flight feels, constantly, like it is activated. i truly feel like i’ve been stuck in fight or flight since the night it happened. i often feel extremely disregulated emotionally and like i’m living in extreme fear a good 80% of the time. this causes me to become easily overwhelmed. now, when i become overwhelmed, i have started shutting down and dissociating and i have started going nonverbal. i am unable to speak, even though it’s like i’m internally screaming and trying to. if i’m able to talk, it’s very few words, barely a sentence or two i’m able to get out. i’ll usually stutter or fumble or trip over my words in trying to get them out, if i’m even able to do that. it truly feels like a disconnect between the words in my brain and being able to articulate them out loud.

it’s been happening a lot in group settings, with my friends who i spend most of my free time with. they’re safe people to be around and i trust they want to help me how they can. the issue is, we are having a hard time navigating what to do/how to approach me going nonverbal. it often happens randomly, just when everything in my head starts becoming overwhelming and i start shutting down. it can be mid conversation and i just start going quiet and i don’t mean to, it’s like something out of my control, making it even scarier. i would sometimes experience this as a teenager/kid, but the difference then was i was a quiet child where it was less noticeable. now i am an adult who communicates verbally way more than i did when i was a kid. i guess i am in part struggling with the embarrassment of feeling a bit childish for being unable to communicate out loud too.

for further context, at this point, my friends know it is me going nonverbal and that it is an involuntary response. we are all collectively pretty much at a point we are trying to figure out how to navigate it happening though because we’re all a little new to it.

my questions/advice i am seeking is this:

what are ways you can communicate with the people you love when nonverbal and you’re all occupying the same physical space? is there resources/maybe any apps to help navigate a situation like that?

how do you talk to your friends about going nonverbal/is there anything you find helpful when you are nonverbal, especially if it’s from a flashback/disassociating due to trauma?

how do you handle/cope with feeling embarrassment and shame around going nonverbal?

any advice would be so so appreciated. thank you. 💙

(if the tone of my post is really formal, i apologize, i feel like i get more formal and serious when i’m nervous lol)

[eclectic-sassycoweyes]

🚨😶 pleaseee

Hi Michelle! Thankuu! 🌼 Ohh I had to think a lot about these!

🚨Emergency most likely to make you sob

I’m not sure if we’re talking canon here or not, but going with canon bc I’m not going to risk jinxing anything by coming up with awfully sad storylines !

I think the suddenness is what often get to me - when you expect everything to be okay, when the characters even expect that, and then in a second, their future and all they had planned is ripped out right from under them and right in front of them and they have to deal with that shock and their whole world changing and the Thing That Was Never Allowed to Happen happens.

Apart from that, I think that the worst one might be the girl who is a victim of the organ stealing ring in s4. The injustice of the way she was treated by the police, how alone she felt. That gets me every time.

😶 Unpopular opinion, respectfully

On a lighter note, hopefully (don’t come for me please🫣)

Okay, so first I couldn’t think of one, and then I thought of two, and I literally lack that little thing inside brains that chooses between stuff, so now you’re getting both of them🙃

1) Okay, first of all.. hear me out please - I love everything about Carlos Reyes, and I love him with my whole entire being, especially his flaws. This is nothing against him whatsoever, this is about my own issues..

But this Carlos:

And this:

Listen, I love him!! But I would have ran and it’s a good thing I’m not TK bc I might not have come back

He’s so sweet and heart eyes-y and horny enough for crazy enough about TK that he’s willing to put on the sirens and cook dinner at midnight for him and I LOVE IT ! But! He’s also just so intense! If someone offered to break the law for me, or if someone had put on their nicest shirt, set out champagne and candles and cooked dinner for me when I showed up to what I thought was a booty call, I would be like Nope! Can’t handle this👀

I don’t mean to hate on him for doing it, for being cheesy and romantic and a bit over the top and awkward, I love him for it, and I don’t see it as a character flaw. But I would just not have been able to deal because of my own sh*t mostly. I would be scared of all the feelings and sure that I would end up causing him pain and feeling pressured and like wouldn’t be able to live up to how serious and relationshippy he is !

Not me wanting a relationship but running like hell the other way when someone seems to be offering it

For me it goes to show that TK really is so brave and is such a serious relationship-guy himself - this is clearly too much too soon for him, but he also knows that this man is perfect his soulmate in every way that matters, and so he does end up fighting the urge to running as fast as he can in the other direction🥹🥹

It would probably serve me to learn a lot from TK in this regard

2) I… don’thopeforanothercomaoroneofthemgettingkidnapped🫣🫣

Like, I wouldn’t mind one (okay maybe a little bit). I appreciate the exquisite pain and aloneness and the revelations and holding of breath that comes from the whole one of them holding vigil.. but it’s also happened, twice. And like with the kidnapping/disappearing thing, listen I loved how Carlos went all detective in 2x08(I think?) and how anxious and stubborn TK was in 4x04, but it’s just so one-sided and we never get the aftermath and that’s what I want - I want the caretaking, helping with getting dressed and taking small sips of water. I want the whumpee to be there to be grumpy, vulnerable, embarrassed etc.

I’d prefer like, a broken leg, a concussion with bo I screens allowed, stomach flu, even kidney stones lol, or a hangover or the common cold - I want to see them cuddling, loving each other through gross and mundane and human things, calling the others parents in the hospital or their friends to cancel game night🥹

🫣🫣🫣

[prismaticpichu]

25 for Seph and 6 for Zack <3

Heck yeah! You got it! ❤️ (I actually just answered #6 with Zack so i’ma skip that one if that’s all good! Though main takeaway is that I associate with his unwavering faith in others <3)

~~~

What was your first impression of this character? How about now? ~ ohhhhh YES YES YES i love this question xDD I always hoped for an opportunity to talk about my first discovery of Sephiroth shshdhhd. So! What was my first impression of Sephiroth..? Did I faint? Did I melt? Did I combust into flames at the sheer majesty?

Oh, no. My first impression of him was complete and utter HATRED…

….

For about 2 minutes.

Okie doke so this isn’t as much as a “first impression” as it is my emotions under the circumstance in which I was introduced to him, but I wanna tell the unasked for story anyway lol. So, basically, imagine this: it’s winter or 2020. Little Pichu is stuck inside alongside the rest of the world. There wasn’t much to do, not much to look forward to. But ofc, I always had video games to entertain me. Specifically, Smash Ultimate—a game I played obsessively during lockdown, day after day. Anywho, like I said, it’s winter of 2020. December. And what was coming up in just a few days…? The Game Awards.

Normally, I really wouldn’t care all too much. I never really gave a poo before lol. But this year??? This year, it was different. It was almost guaranteed that a new smash fighter was gonna revealed. And as someone who’s heart and soul was tethered to the game at the time, this was everything to me xD

So! There I am, sitting on the couch in front of the TV. It’s the 10th of December. The Game Awards would be on any moment. Already I’m sitting there and letting my brain trip over all the potential fighters that can be revealed. The anticipation is REAL, man. SO REAL.

The Game Awards start.

The first thing to appear on the screen is a Smash Bros trailer.

Little Pichu is PSYCHED. Heart tenses. Breath hitches. All the characters are there on the cliff. No indication as to who it can be. All options are valid. Every single hope has a chance. They’re about to fight Galeem. The thing prepares to unleash an attack. The music escalates and the god gets sliced in half and—

And…

Whomst.

The F*ck.

Is that.

So, yeah, um, I was very uncultured and had no idea who one of the most iconic villains to exist was x,D It’s actually REALLY embarrassing lol. Anyways, as Sephiroth descended from the sky and that random choir began chanting in the background, all I could feel was RAGE. I’m tell you. It was cold, bitter FURY. How could they add another swordfighter??? We have ENOUGH. Who is this woman??? What??? WHY??? WHY HER?????? WHY NOT SOMEONE I KNOW AND WANTED—!

You know how I said the anger lasted for 2 minutes.

It was prolly more like 55 seconds.

As almost as quickly as I wanted to chuck my remote at the screen, I had turned into, like, a mesmerized sheep. The trailer was (as my vocab would say at the time) freaking EPIC, man! The dude was UNSTOPPABLE. He plowed through anything and everything and holy SHIT DID HE JUST KILL MARIO?—

Yeaaaaah so that’s how it started tor me xD It wasn’t long until I was binge watching memes of Sephiroth’s entrance to smash, scarfing down comics of him and Pichu, and coming to the realization that I actually wanted to know a lot more about this character. I still remember the moment I opened up Google and typed in “Who is Sephiroth?” That’s how engraved this man is into my essence xD Pichu get help. I was brought to a wiki page, and there was literally no turning back lol. I learned that he used to be a hero—a good guy—which absolutely plunged me into wanting to hunt down the Nibelheim Incident and see his downfall. I became so invested in what I didn’t see from his good side that I hunted down an 8 hour playthrough of Crisis Core, as that’s what I discovered was the prequel to it all. Next came devouring fanfic and headcanoning- and, well, here we are today xDD Needless to say I love this stupid psycho to death, and i don’t think that’s changing anytime soon!

…..This has no right to be this long dhdhdhhd.

[caliburn-the-sword]

tlc winter thoughts chapters 56-86

okay i didn't read 30 chapters in one day because i actually have a lot to study. and making these posts takes time. but also i took a break for like 2 days from reading because i couldn't stand the alpha stuff. here we go. like i've mentioned before, the closer i get to the climax, the less commentary i make

damn winter has reached a friendship level high enough for scarlet to start traumadumping her Tragic Backstory LMAO

look i get that this is meant to be serious but every single time the word alpha is uttered i feel nauseous LMAO

"I already have an alpha mate" i am RETCHING. i want to smash my head through a wall. i need to bleach my eyeballs and also my brain to get rid of any existence of it in my memory

something something the genetically engineered wolf soldiers are an analogy for toxic masculinity. i'm honestly really embarrassed that it took me THREE books (four including fairest) to get that. whoopsies. critical thinking and reading comprehension went out the window. winter slayed so hard by curing them of fantasy sexism lmao

cringing at all the howling. sorry. furry behaviour

"Wolf. Ze’ev. Her alpha mate." i should have stopped reading the day i hit scarlet and first saw all the alpha stuff. god this is so cringe. i can't take anymore scenes with scarlet in it as much as i love her. take me back to jacin or cinder's group

"Or maybe it was just Winter, who could make a rock fall in love with her if she smiled at it the right way." scarlet that's not a very heterosexual thing to think

"a girl of ice and snow" omg guys a new y/a title just dropped!!!

"She struggled to think of what to call herself. The pilot? The alpha female?" SCARLET STOPPPPPPPPPPPP

"He growled at her. Scarlet growled back." what if that was my last straw??? what if i just stopped reading this book right here right now

usually, i find the whole "we need you to fight with us. will you??" to a usually hostile group as really cringe and i'm not able to suspend my disbelief. but in this case it was REALLY well executed. i enjoyed it. that's a high honour i bestow, the only other time i liked it was in black panther (and that barely counts because the jibari weren't hostile, just reclusive)

hearing all the successes of the revolution is like music to my ears

omg iko is SO sweet to give up limbs for cinder <3

WING NUT. it's been so long since i've heard that delightful little insult <3

oh no there is no way that's jacin. that has to be a hallucination. or maybe someone is using their lunar gift on her

UH OH I DON'T TRUST OLD LADIES

why did it never occur to me that the sour apple lollies were eventually gonna be the poisoned apple?? i feel so stupid lmao

this is it winter is gonna get poisoned - OMG WITH LETUMOSIS I SHOULD HAVE GUESSED

NO NO NO SCARLET IS NOT ALLOWED TO DIE OF LETUMOSIS

YAY WOLF CHAPTER IT'S BEEN SO LONG

lone wolf ze'ev~ still just as bad as all that alpha stuff

ah with everything cinder and iko are saying about the timelines of chips being uploaded and malfunctions and adri disabling iko the first time, i'm guessing the patent for garan's design is stored in iko's chip or something

no. jail. wolf is not allowed to be all changed and brainwashed again. this is peeta mellark all over again. i wanted angst but not THIS much

"New chemicals and hormones pumping through his veins. Testosterone. Adrenaline. Pheromones." PHEREMONES??? JAILLLL. that said i will pick and choose and twist the words to suit my own meaning. because he's been injected with more testosterone i've decided he's trans. this is my next agenda i'm spreading, along with bisexual thorne and bisexual scarlet and kai x thorne. i will be the most insufferable damn person in this fandom

i literally cannot take wolf seriously being called a pup. i know this is dramatic. but i am retching

i appreciate kai's absolute dedication. his self sacrifice. he has got the weight of the world on his shoulders at 18. i'm close to turning 18 and am just reading a funky sci-fi book in the middle of class. i could never. he will be perhaps the only monarch i respect (however i would more greatly appreciate it if he declared a democracy at the end of the book)

not thorne and cress AGAIN. thorne EW. that is a MINOR. uh oh, that sounds like pedo-pedo-pedo-pedophilia

YAY IT'S JACIN AGAIN. IT'S BEEN SO LONG

random things that are canon that i'm filing away for later: cress and iko having the same shoe size

now iko's self sacrifice to get the vax

STATUE OF ARTEMIS. KSDJHCFNW i love references to greek mythology. chang'e when

HELP. i get that cress is very sheltered and upset here. but thorne was literally just kissed without consent by this lunar and it was COMPLETELY glossed over. not helping the "men want it" "men don't get raped" stereotypes. yikes. uncomfy as fuck

still praying against all odds that thorne rejects her because she's a young impressionable girl

EW. that was the most uncomfortable longest thing i've experienced ever in my life. gross. i wish thorne a very go to jail forever. i literally have a full blown crisis when i get a crush on someone that's only ONE YEAR younger than me. how the fuck is he literally ATTRACTED to someone 4 years younger than him, a literal baby. gross. thank goodness these are fictional people. reminding myself over and over that no one was actually hurt

cannot bring myself to feel a single bit of empathy for thorne getting dragged away by the lunars. idc. he can die so that he stops grooming cress. yikes

WINTER IS BEING WOKEN UP. EVERYONE IT'S HAPPENING THE SNOW WHITE MOMENT IS HAPPENING

"For the first time in her life, no one could say she was beautiful." vs jacin literally thinking about how beautiful winter was even when sick. i am physically ill. miss marissa meyer how could you do this to me. pay for my therapy

istg i'm not just saying this because i'm aussie like the diplomat but honestly it's SO embarrassing for adult characters to be outsmarted by teenagers. like how is this full grown adult not realising she'd be manipulated by a lunar if that's what a lunar wanted before kai did, EVEN if kai knows her and knows her to be a shell. context clues girlie

it's nice to see unusual characters like kai and cress interact. it's very sweet

yay!! kai knows cinder is alive now

torin is such a goddamn hero. why do i sense he's going to get killed for the delay tho. praying for his safety. i don't like these death flags

YES FINALLY A LUNAR CARVING OF A WOMAN CARRYING A RABBIT. A JADE RABBIT. IT'S CHANG'E. YIPPEEEEEE. admittedly i don't know the other moon gods. once i have the time and am interested i will defo look them up

YAY IKO IS BACK

i love that even through wolf's absolute hunger and mental torment he's still able to recognise that kai absolutely does not want to get married and sees his misery. some small part of him still sees kai as a friend who he should be concerned for relieved that wolf hasn't forgotten his mother as much as i hate to see aimery

VIVA LA REVOLUTION BITCHES

i hope to see adri and pearl suffer more

scarlet and wolf reunion <3 the alpha thing ruined it

things i need on a transcendent level: cinder to user her lunar gift to make levana hallucinate dancing in red hot shoes. i have no thoughts just vibes. i sense that the next post will be my last winter reactions post

@eddisfargo @francforever @winterrhayle @winterpinetrees @shellyseashell @luna-maximoff-22 @queenjazz7 @mtmousie @dramatic-jellybean

[myshredda]

Hi! It's me again!

It's currently 2 AM but these guys have complete control over me and the tiny Spongebobs in my head run in circles bumping in the walls of my brain and screaming scenarios at the top of their lungs, specially about the sibling dynamic of Green and Yellow

Since the two had to share a bed for a little while before they got one for Green, it became part of the daily routine, and when something becomes part of the daily routine, it's easy to take it for granted and start complaining.

The thing with Yellow is that he is the type to move SOOOO MUCH while asleep, and he also kicks too. The day they finally got separate beds, Green looked so relieved to finally sleep comfortably that it made Red and Duck giggle. They had both slept with Yellow when he had nightmares, and they knew that even if he looked small and weak, tolerating those kicks was the true challenge of fatherhood

But at night, in his new bed, Green can't sleep, he is cold, a cold not even the thickest blankets can warm, the cold that comes from missing something you didn't think it was that good... Sure, it's nice having enough space to stretch out, and ofc, it's a relief that he won't have to worry about Yellow drooling all over his blankie, but he still feels like something is missing. So he gets out of bed, tiptoes over to Yellow's and climbs into the sheets without saying a word, he's too embarrassed to. Yellow looks at him drowsy and gives him the dumbest and sweetest sleepy smile before hugging him and going back to sleep. Green quickly joins too.

The next morning, Duck and Red are the first ones to wake up. They both look at the cozy jumble of arms, legs and blankets in Yellow's bed and then look at each other with a loving glint in their eyes, they won't say anything out loud, because their hearts feel so full rn that even a single spec more might give them cavities.

Eventually Green learns to sleep in his own bed, but every once in a while, especially after having an unresolved fight during the day, one of them will rise at night and join the same bed as the other, and after a silent sleepy embrace all will be forgiven…

At least until tomorrow's next sibling argument :)

Everything you write is so fucking Chefs Kiss I cannot get over it. You've come into my askbox and every day you churn out some of the cutest clump characterization I've ever seen, characterization that i wholeheartedly agree with, and just leave me with my heart growing three sizes like the grinch.

Yellow would be THE WORST sleeping partner like: he kicks, he talks in his sleep, he snores, he puts his cold feet on whoever he's with and steals the blankets and can be pretty grumpy if woken up. Awful. OF COURSE Green is looking forward to having his own bed, his issues with personal identity aside, he wants a full nights sleep without fighting to the death over who has the nicer pillow.

Maybe the clump goes to Ikea, maybe Lesley's sick of the complaining and blinks a second bed into existence (thinking about it now idk if they'd want to use a bunk bed because it reminds Yellow too much of Lily and Todney's nightmare lesson and all the trauma that came with that) but somehow they find another bed, one that Duck and Red have painstakingly ensured is equally as nice as the one Yellow has, with completely different patterned sheets and duvet covers, to help with the whole identity thing, and Green settles in his lovely new bed with the capital G inscribed on the foot of it and he just. Can't sleep.

He's cold, and he's hearing noises he's never noticed before and he's absolutely not a baby but they might be scaring him a little so he hugs his blanket tighter but time drags on an on and he's so tired and he's not sleeping so he just gets out of his brand new, equally as good, totally unique bed and hauls his way over to Yellows. And Yellow doesn't even say anything, even though he absolutely could, and Green's so thankful for that he just accepts the hug and falls asleep tangled with Yellow and his blanket and Doggie and the 27 pillows Yellow demands to use and his heart feels so full and warm and it radiates out to the rest of his body and keeps him comfy the whole night.

And the next morning Red's like. Yeah I figured this would happen, and Duck half-heartedly complains about the waste of money that extra bed was, but they're both just glad the boys are safe and happy. And yeah eventually they figure out how to sleep alone but sometimes they still sleep together if they feel like it, or they both might slip into Red's bed, or Duck's bed, or, if Red and Duck ever figure their own shit out and push their beds together, Green and Yellow would join in some night and they'd just sleep in a big family clump.

[omegasmileyface]

Of All the People - ch. 3

Chapter 3!!! Still written by @attackradish and @ectolemonades and myself! I don't want to spam our artist @/toastyghosti by continuing to tag them, but check out chapter 1 to see their art, and please check out their own page!

Posting 3 chapters in a row since they were originally one big chapter before posting <3

whole fic summary: After a stupid dare puts Dash Baxter in the lab at Fentonworks during the middle of a ghost fight, he finds himself a little more spectral than usual. Apparently Danny Fenton’s gone through the same thing (someone has got to call OSHA on these guys eventually), and who could better help Dash than his hero? His lame, stubborn hero?

warnings: existential crises. In later chapters, Spectra.

words: 1521

AO3 link

first chapter

previous chapter

next chapter

===

After Dash passed out again (in his defense, he was having a very rough night), Danny decided he needed to go home. He shook him awake and asked whether he was good to walk. Apparently Dash, still a tad out of it from the night's revelations, wasn't very convincing when he said yes.

He ended up being flown home and, God, the thoughts that fought in his head — the dream-come-true of being whisked through the air in the unwavering grip of Danny Phantom, the settling knowledge that Phantom was the same unassuming teenager he had been picking on for years, some dawning realization that his vague not-crush on Phantom may have also extended to Fenton the entire time, and on top of it all the thought that maybe Dash could fly under the same power… Neither of them said a word to the other for the whole flight.

Dash didn't want to linger on the fact that Danny didn't need to ask where his house was. He was dropped off with a quick reminder to meet behind the band room 30 minutes before school, and Danny vanished without looking Dash in the eye.

Dash never slept that night. Sunlight was streaming through the blinds before he could get over the feeling of being abandoned. He didn't even realize he was grieving for himself until he saw that he was crying again. Even while he got dressed to face the world at school, he couldn't take a full breath without shaking. The still-present ache in his chest and leg were forgettable, it was the way his brain felt like it was fraying at the edges that made Dash decide that dying sucked.

The next day, Danny was in the promised spot. And so were his two friends. Dash patted down his rumpled clothes one last time before approaching.

"Hey, Fenton. Didn't you say you wanted to talk? Alone?"

"It's cool, Dash, I already told them what happened."

He said it like it meant nothing. Like it didn't even cross his mind not to. Dash boiled over with rage before he could think about why. Danny had been keeping his own secret for years, and the second the same thing happens to Dash, he goes and tells every loser who hangs out with him without even asking first? Dash was the one who had bones broken last night! He was the one who passed out twice in the house of Casper High's biggest embarrassment! He was the one who had to find out that the guy who he’d buried his feelings for under knuckle sandwiches was the same guy he’d practically worshipped for years, and then not even talk about it! He was the one who died last night, and Fenton got to tell his loser friends everything before Dash himself was even sure what happened? How dare he.

Danny cringed before Dash could yell at him. His hands shot up in a defensive position as he rushed to explain.

"They've known everything about me from the start. I wasn't sure I could help you without their help too. I promise you, I trust them with my life."

"Dash," Manson chimed in, "we're going to help keep you from fucking up, okay?"

"You've got questions, and we've got answers," said Foley.

Dash was still fuming, but he never got a chance to argue.

He ended up getting what was basically a lecture on "liminal ghosts" ("...other ghosts will probably call you a 'halfa', but for the record, it's much more likely you're slightly more human than ghost.") and the ways he could take care of his adjusting body and mind. He wasn't thrilled to recognize some of the emotional shifts he'd had since the night before in the "ghostly patterns" they were describing. He didn't like feeling like a different person, like the old Dash had died. He couldn't just let go of who he was.

He was put into a group text, protests ignored, and told to report to them about any unexpected sensations or medical patterns, and then Manson and Foley set off.

Dash was about to get going himself, ready to forget this whole ordeal by telling his friends he'd completed the dare (if they wanted something to show for it, they could fuck right off) when Danny grabbed his arm to hold him back.

Dash couldn't help staring at his lazy slouch, drawn in on himself like he was trying to appear as small as possible. It didn't look unfamiliar, Danny wore the posture like a skin, but Dash just couldn't keep his mind off it. How it made him look like an entirely different person compared to the easy grace he had the night before. It was entirely alien to the full-bodied confidence of Phantom. Obviously it was some sort of mask, and now that he knew it was there, it was incredibly off-putting.

"Look, Dash. I get that you probably don't want to have to start associating with me just because of what happened to you. Trust me, the feeling is mutual."

Okay, ouch.

"But it'll make things a hell of a lot easier for both of us if I make sure you're equipped to understand yourself. So I need you to tell me every time you start developing a new power so I can help you with it. We're gonna have to meet soon, to make sure you don't slip up on those ectoblasts or the other basics. You good for after school at my place?"

Dash blinked. "Uh, sure, I guess. Can my friends come with?"

Danny looked at him like he’d asked to bring a GIW rep. "Dude, what are you talking about? You can't just be putting us out there like that. You can't tell your friends."

"The fuck do you mean I can't tell my friends? Am I just supposed to keep it to myself that I straight-up died?"

Danny shushed him like he hadn't been saying equally incriminating shit just as loud two minutes ago. "Do you really think the rest of the A-listers are just gonna keep quiet about the weirdest thing to happen at this school all year? If people find out about you, they're gonna find out about me, and then both of our asses get handed over to the first mad scientist to call dibs. We're both in th—"

"You don't know them! You think I'd be stupid enough to let people figure you out? My friends are just as trustworthy as yours!" God knows they'd been keeping secrets for Dash well enough already. "Just because they're not fucking outcasts doesn't change that! I'm not losing my friends because you think I'm too dumb to stay safe!"

Danny's eyes were narrowed, but he took a breath anyway. "Sorry. I guess you're right. You can tell a few people about yourself— not about me— if you promise me that you trust them not to blab."

"Fine." Dash rolled his eyes. "I promise I'll only tell people I trust."

"And they can't come to training, because I'm gonna have to reveal myself if they do."

"Whatever." Dash was itching to walk away and forget all this.

"And one more thing." Danny's eyes were intense, the way they looked into Dash's. They didn't reflect light in the morning sun. Was that a ghost thing? "I need you to keep out of trouble." His body was drawn up into that composed posture from before. This wasn't a request. Was he always this tall? "Don't try to fight any ghosts. I don't need you getting hurt right now."

Danny walked off just as the warning bell rang.

===

Dash's friends were insufferable, trying to get him to tell them how the dare went and why they hadn't seen him before school. He refused to say a thing before lunch. The moment fourth period ended, Dash skipped the lunch line and made a beeline for the A-listers' usual table, and waited for his friends to show up. 

“Hey Dash, where’s your food? Fenton didn’t bring lunch money today?” asked Kwan, taking the seat across from him. 

Dash glanced around the room for eavesdroppers. ”I needed to talk to you guys ASAP. Didn’t want to get stuck in the lunch line.”

“Right! You’re finally going to spill the beans about the dare. I’m not sure what you mean by ASAP, though. You've been avoiding it all day.”

“Alone. I want to leave before this place gets too crowded.”

“Ooh, it was that bad?” Paulina appeared in front of the lunch line, Star trailing behind her.

“If you draw attention to us, then we’ll have an audience. And then I won’t be able to tell you until after school.” Dash pushed out through gritted teeth. 

Star flipped her hair. “Well let’s get going, then, before that audience shows up. Any secluded places in mind?"

“The boy’s locker room should be empty by now,” suggested Kwan. 

“Sure. Sounds great. Let’s go.” Dash felt like there were ants in his veins. Every person here was a potential ear against the door. He should’ve waited 'til after school.

“And Dash? Loosen up a little.”

“Hm?”

“Nothing’s going to draw more attention than you looking nervous. It’s out of character.” 

“Right.” He straightened his shoulders, and strode to the gym with as much casual confidence as he could muster. Just a normal day for Dash Baxter.

There were still a couple stragglers in the locker room, but he knew how to take care of that. He slammed his fist against a locker and glared at anybody who looked. They were smart enough to take the hint and leave.

Star piped up the moment the door shut. “I’m dying to know what all the secrecy is for. It’s gotta be something big, you haven’t acted like this since…”

“Since that. And that’s why I’m trusting you with all this. Nobody can know, ok?”

“Our lips are sealed.”

“Ok.” Dash took a deep breath that stung just behind his sternum. “I’m part ghost now. There w—” he was interrupted by the roar of laughter. Kwan was doubled over, slapping his knee. Paulina was tearing up. The sound was overwhelming, and he swore that he could taste bewilderment choking the air. 

“Guys, stop laughing! I’m serious!” His friends looked at him with skepticism written all over their faces, but the laughter died down. 

“I went down into the Fentons' stupid lab and they left this giant portal open and a freaking ghost showed up!”

“Did it bite you?” Star teased. 

“No! Would you let me finish? I grabbed this bazooka thing off a table and tried to shoot it but it jammed and exploded against my chest. Then something happened to my leg and I blacked out. When I woke up I was so mad I fired off an ectoblast, and that's when it sank in.”

“Listen, dude, if you’re this worked up about the dare we can figure something out. This is just kind of sad.”

“I’m not making this up! You know what it’s fuckin' like to know you died? That you’re not really human anymore? You think I’m acting?!”

Paulina put her hands out in a soothing motion. “Alright. If this is real, those injuries might be serious. I’m going to take a look. Show me which leg it was.” Dash huffed and struggled out of the left leg of his jeans. Stupid skinny jeans, couldn't roll them up. At least his friends had all seen him with his pants off before.

His leg looked fine from the outside, despite the persisting ache. He wished there was at least a bruise or something to show he wasn’t lying. 

When he took off his shirt she paused, and whatever his friends saw made them go quiet. When Dash looked in the mirror, he saw a massive dark spot in the center of his chest. A circle haloed in curling rays, like an old drawing of the sun. Looking at it— having other people look at it— made Dash want to crawl out of his skin. He tugged his shirt back on.

“I’m sorry for not believing you. Nobody should have to go through that.”

“What can we do to help?”

Dash looked down and pulled his pant leg back on. “Nothing at the moment, I guess. I just really needed to tell you guys. I managed to get in contact with Phantom. He’s worked with limin… half-ghosts before, And he’s going to teach me all the ghost stuff I need to know, and help me control my powers and all that. But I’ll let you know if there’s anything."

"You got to talk to Phantom? What was he like?”

"Lucky!"

“Can I meet him? You’ve got to introduce us!”

The switch to familiar jeering was fast. Dash knew they were doing it to cheer him up.

It was nice. He smiled.

[internetgremlin-writes]

FLAT SPIN CHAP 5 SPOILERS!!

OH MY GOD IGGY THAT CHAPTER WAS ABSOLYTELY PERFECT!!!!

The way he asked her to come to Barcelona… SO carlos of him I wanted to cry… AND THE WAY HE METICULOUSLY PLANNED EVERYTHING? I am sorry if you dont like / dont care about zodiacs BUT THE VIRGO ENERGY IN HIM JUMPED OUT, and I respect it soooo much. Everything he planned was so /him/, but also so so perfect for MC — the little gestures? Ordering for her? Translating everything for her? POSTING HER ON HIS STORY? God i literally melted

AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON HIM COOKING FOR HER… because god damn you Know how Weak I am and it was so beautiful, also the British breakfast once again just shows how much he cares for her and understands her🥹 i am just about to combust actually

AND THEN RACE WEEKEND? And everything with the green tractor and also MC and Sebs relationship? Once again nailed it sm god i love these teammates… and how she didnt want to fight Seb / come across like that because he just means so much to her????? Girl you got me on the floor rn…

What I cannot stop thinking about is how shes in for the championship, and as of rn so is Carlos… Will they be fighting each other further down the line or… 👀 Make up sex as an apology for aggressive overtaking again? Or podium celebration sex because BOTH of them ended up on the podium (Silverstone? 👀) So many possibilities omfg dont mind me

AND THEN LAST BUT NOT LEAST (thiugh i still have so much to say but my slow ass brain needs a bit of time i guess) the ending was just perfect… like am I the only one thinking Carlos didnt want to sleep with her pre race weekend bc he wanted to fully focus on her but couldnt with all the GO expectations around him? But now that it was done he could let himself fully focus on her and give her all the attention he thinks she deserves? God I love them sm… And the way you let all those emotions show through during the smut was just CHEFS KISS, the way they understand each other is just so 🥹🥹🥹 i have no words lol other than i’m SO obsessed..,

God i hope this all is legible its 4:14am now and i am prone to word vomit already when my brain is working so this may just sound like incoherent crap but i hope you know this chapter was SO GOOD, also the way you captured Barcelona imo was spot on like I wouldnt have noticed that it was all based on research and not personal experiences (though i guess i must confess i havent been to barcelona since i was 4 either… JSJDKFKF BUT YOU MANAGED TO CAPTURE THE SPANISH VIBES PERFECTLY THAT I CAN TELL YOU BC I JUST VACATIONED IN SPAIN LAST MONTH)

okay oh my god i am back from festival and i am finally going to reply to this without crying halfway through...

firstly OH MY GOD. you... you wrote all this... about my work?? I'm touched, I'm shook, I'm honoured, this is honestly the best feeling and probably as close to a "real" author with people analysing my work as I'll ever get and I am ABSOLUTELY here for it (especially as a literature nerd who loves to pick apart all of my books for fun)

haha I don't *dislike* zodiacs, I don't really follow them to that much detail but I vaguely have an idea of them. To be honest, the way I write Carlos is purely based on the guy we see as a Formula One driver and personality (but now you say that I totally see the virgo energy). ALSO I'M SO GLAD YOU NOTICED THOSE I am entirely convinced Carlos is a very detail-oriented person and especially when he is first seeing someone he would be really careful to go out of the way to do really subtle but meaningful things yanno?

As for the championship fight... well I don't want to give anything away but oh I *definitely* have a plan for MC and Carlos and the WDC ;)

Haha don't worry it all made sense! And thank you so much for the comment about Barcelona... it's a little embarrassing how long I spent on google for things to do in and around the city because I've never been to mainland Spain, so even if it's not 100% accurate I'm just happy the vibes were right!!

honestly just thank you so much for this, it means the absolute world <3 <3 <3