#finally i have written it ;w;

[heavenslapse]

@heartsaligned -- akechi & akira meeting again in central

The hustle and bustle of Tokyo's city never changed. Once a famous star at the height of his popularity a year ago, Goro had fallen far into the realms of a semi-nameless and mostly washed up idol. Sometimes people would glance his way and assume he was someone special, yet it felt like a lifetime ago he'd striven for lofty ambitions. He lived for himself now. No longer plotting tactics toward a child's dream of vengeance and suffused in hate.

After waking from a coma he'd fallen into at the beginning of December from fatal gunshot wounds to his hip and shoulder, actions that still went unexplained by doctors and nurses as to how such a thing occurred. Goro couldn't tell them the truth. The boiler room, sacrificing himself to give the Phantom Thieves a chance if they promised they'd change Shido's blackened heart. It was written off as an act of gang violence he'd unfortunately been in the crossfire of. All of it had happened during the election, so none of his sudden disappearance reached the ears of the outside world over the scandal of Shido's downfall and the Diet being run through with a fine-toothed comb. The one who'd found him had been a random nobody and hadn't even known the boy he'd found shot with severe bloodloss was a famous idol. In a bittersweet way it was comical. Goro had given up a long time ago on humanity.

Over the months he'd checked himself into the rehab center where his mother had died in. Fifteen years had passed, but some of the older nurses on staff seemed to have recalled who he was. He'd slowly discovered a reason to continue living unlike his mother who'd lost the strength to. It was, in a word, healing. He'd been given a second chance he'd never asked for. He'd been instructed to visit therapists after treatment. It'd taken awhile to find one that worked for him, especially since he didn't believe in that manner of ministration even more so after the events of a fake reality controlled by the whims of a deluded sociopath wanting to fix everyone's trauma by erasing it and bestowing them hoaxed fantasies.

Goro was too broken to ever be fully intact, but his current doctor, an older woman, was patient with him. She'd yet to refer him to another specialist. Even though he hadn't entirely followed up on all the treatment advised. SOCIALIZING himself with the world around him, trying to make friends, it hadn't gone well even when he faked his way through a superficial guise just so someone would want him in their life. He'd gotten a dog, however, and was making effort through a small business as a private detective.

He made his way out into the Crossing in Shibuya's Central. Hundreds of people meandered from the Underground Mall to different subway transit ports for their train. In the middle of scrambling crowd, one person stood out from the rest. The familiar mop of black hair and poor posture and glasses pressed over his face. So easily overlooked, but he'd know them anywhere.

Goro froze in his tracks while it felt like the rest of the world had come to standstill around him. He felt someone bump into his shoulder followed by the deaf sound of an annoyed voice. Goro staggered backward. He sharply turned, pace quickening as he hoped to be lost in the crowd.

[leqclerc]

I think everything that could be said has already been said regarding Charles’s Monaco win. But I’m just… Wow. It’s so surreal.

Having followed him for several years now, witnessing the hope and subsequent disappointment as yet another chance to win his home race slips away… The heartbreak and helplessness of 2021 and the anger and frustration of 2022… It’s Charles’s dream fulfilled and Charles’s accomplishment but I feel like it’s personal for so many of us who’ve endured all of those emotional rollercoasters and setbacks along with him, invested in his quest to reach for something he yearned for so deeply. We’re all sharing in it now, Charles’s emotions a reflection of our own; disappointments into delights.

The funny thing is, I was completely calm once he secured pole on Saturday, in a way I rarely am, especially when it comes to racing. It’s hard to describe but it was just this serenity, this gut feeling that today is the day, and that there won’t be any more upsetting surprises. That this is the weekend where that chapter of the “curse” ends, where history is made, that this is where the path was leading all along.

It wasn’t really until Charles crossed the finish line, until that team radio, that inflection in his voice, the way he evidently teared up, the way he ran into his team’s waiting embrace and the way he spoke about his father that it hit me, the emotions, the sheer magnitude of the feat – so straightforward at first glance but heavy with the weight of expectation, longing, past disappointment. The palpable relief on the podium, the way he could finally close his eyes and just drink it all in. Maybe it played out exactly the way he had imagined all that time, maybe it was different, maybe it was better. But it was, in some way, fated.

[luxsea]

ITS A GREAT DAY TO BE A KARLACH ROMANCER 😳 IM VERY HAPPY W THE NEW PATCH

[stuckinapril]

listening to all the demos victoria monet did for ariana grande is insane bc how did this woman have it in her to sit on all this material and not be frustrated about it

[stellarfoxian]

imagine looking for v because you have something to show her. you can't find her ANYWHERE. you've looked practically all over the place and you just CAN'T seem to find her. exhausted, you turn to uzi, who's known her longer than you. her only advice?

"did you check the ceiling?"

sure enough, when you look up, there she is! just... chilling there. like a bug. upon further inspection, she is asleep, clinging onto the ceiling like a damn roach. you glance back at uzi like "?????" and she just shrugs.

maybe you fly on up there and snuggle up with her (if you're a disassembly drone) or you wait for her to come down by herself, who knows. She does kinda feel bad for worrying you but she wouldn't let you know thatttttt.......

[trainingdummyrabbit]

in conclusion the most poignant thing about ruina is its running theme of Imperfection. imperfection, focused not on its flaws, but on the miracle of it existing to begin with. imperfection not as a failing, but as a triumph. its cracked, broken, deeply in need of repair-- but it's real and its ours and it exists. despite everything it exists and that enough is a relief beyond words, beyond expression. to present a toppled structure not as a conclusion, but an opportunity.

its the choice-- and the joy-- of looking forward, unflinchingly, and facing it. one step at a time.

[byfulcrums]

Y'know that one character you know literally nothing about but you're still extremely obssessed with them. Like I don't know you but I love you more than words can tell. I'm also terrified to write them bc I don't want them to be ooc. Still love them tho

[crybaby-bkg]

Is it rude to say that you hadn’t expected Dabi to have had his own car? Not because of money issues, but because of a few reasons being: 1) he walks everywhere he goes, and 2) he’s quite literally never mentioned having a car nor a license before.

But you sit with him, in his old beat up bucket that jerks every time he hits a bump in the road, fighting for dear life. Your window doesn’t roll all the way up and bugs keep flying in, and it doesn’t help that Dabi is going 80 in a 55. You would hold onto the little life support grip thing above the window, but it looks like there hasn’t been one on the passengers side since he received the car.

You know he’s going this fast because, not only does it scare you, but it makes him hit the potholes a little harder. Which in turn makes your thighs and stomach and boobs jiggle more than usual. You should’ve known he had another motive when he insisted you ride with him to the convenience store, especially the one across town when there was 7 others he’d passed in the meantime.

But you’re too busy trying to keep your head from hitting the roof of the car, and your tits from falling out of your low cut shirt. Oh, this fucker must’ve had everything planned out the moment you walked through the door.

“Can you slow down a little?” You yell over the bass of his too loud rock music, one hand gripping his that rests on your thigh, the other holding your chest tightly. “My boobs are gonna fall outta my goddamn bra by the next pothole!”

But that only encourages Dabi, makes him throw a grin your way as he glances to how your chest jiggles again with another bump in the road. He laughs at your screech for him to look at the road, turning his eyes to comply with your request, his chin still turned in your direction.

“Well, sounds to me like I’m not going fast enough.” He teases, softly steering his wheel to the nearest pothole, a deep one. He snaps his eyes over to you the moment he hits it, smirking at your squeak when he sees your chest bounce out of your grip before you regain it again quickly.

He glances up to you, grinning even wider when you’re already glaring at him. He can’t help the squeeze of your thigh, blue eyes already zoning in on the next dip in the road for him to hit. He’s not stopping until your complaint becomes reality, and only then, he’ll find a convenience store.

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

this but carlo & moretti😔🤨 thats all thank you

[atopvisenyashill]

do u ship reylo? 👀

[manic-pixie-dream-dude]

WIPs!

[simply-sithel]

New job means the brain's been a' churning with code lately. Putting some cycles towards @renegadeguild this month-- signature order spine lines are (languishing) in review (as Draft) and I threw together a typeset assembly tool in hopes of finally (collaboratively) tackling the idea of a Renegade cookbook.

Launched in honor/anticipation of Edible Book Day (April 1st), the Renegade PDF Potluck tool is currently accepting entries. Currently only available to Renegade Bindery folks (thems on the Discord) -- you can find the link & info in the Event on the server.

Deadline for entries is tomorrow (Saturday, March 22nd 2024) @ midnight PST but seeing as only 2 entries have been submitted so far, might be extending that a bit.

[fuckmeyer]

"disturbed, depressed, inadequate": Edward Cullen & George Costanza, cringefail twinsies

as we all know, Twilight and Seinfeld are canonically set in the same universe. we see blatant clues scattered throughout both series. (e.g., Stephenie Meyer prefacing New Moon with the entirety of Jerry Seinfeld's opening stand-up from season 4's "The Outing;" Jerry making a Twilight reference in "The Soup" episode of Seinfeld, etc.) most notably, we see Edward Cullen & George Costanza's personalities mirror each other in a way that extends far beyond "pure" "coincidence." upon closer examination, they are the same person in parallel universes.

the two are, canonically, absolute losers seemingly broken beyond repair, self-saboteurs who waffle between moments of self-aggrandizement and self-loathing. their negative self-image, insecurities, & belief that they do not deserve love are recurring themes in their respective series.

among other things, George describes himself as "disturbed, depressed, inadequate," ("The Visa," S04) "completely insecure, paranoid, [and] neurotic" ("The Beard," S06). he is the self-proclaimed "Lord of the Idiots" ("The Apartment," S02) who is sure of only one thing: "There is no bigger loser than me" ("The Strike," S09).

in the Twilight Saga, Edward repeatedly calls himself "selfish" & a "monster." in Midnight Sun, he's a "coward" (37), "evil" (374) & an "obsessed stalker" (94). clearly depressed in the way he describes his "long melancholy" (138) as "an unending, unchanging midnight" (136), he quickly pinpoints the feelings behind his hatred for Bella: "What I really hated was myself" (26). his distaste for Mike Newton & jealousy of Jacob Black stem from his insecurity, while his paranoia has him assuming, among other things, that a meteor will crash down & bonk Bella out of existence (131). Edward's telepathy has him always on the alert for intruders, resulting in baseless conclusions. "Idiot," Rose calls him (97, 129, 145, 202, 314). idiot, indeed.

Edward & George's low self-esteem compel them to lie, unable to live up to the perceived expectations of others. after Edward saves Bella from a car accident, he lies to her to keep her away. "I had a show to put on now. I knew the role I would play—I had the character down: I would be the villain. I would lie and ridicule and be cruel" (MS, 90). beyond shielding her from his true nature, he is shielding her from a deeper truth: "I didn't deserve any link, any claim to her at all" (728). that is, Edward does not consider himself worthy of Bella's love. he even point-blank admits it to her at prom: "I'm not worth it." (782)

George, too, struggles to live up to assumed perceptions: “You see, this is what I do with women. I start out too strong, now I have to become real. That's when it all falls apart. What good is real?" ("The Visa," S04) like Edward, he engages in deceptive tactics throughout the series to keep his partners at arm's length, from creating falsehoods about himself to preventing his fiancée from fraternizing with his friends & entering his world. ("The Pool Guy," S07) Edward, more succinct, sends Bella the same message in New Moon: "My world is not for you." (37)

in fact, one of the few traits George & Edward possess that is not negatively regarded is their ability to lie. Edward's declaration that "I was not an incompetent liar" (MS, 77) seems an understatement when, not 10 pages later, he says, "Perhaps I was too good a liar if I could fool Carlisle" (85). he claims to feel guilty; then again, Bella often notes him lying outright or by omission in the series.

"I lie every second of my life," George brags in season 2's "The Apartment." "My whole life is a sham." other characters acknowledge & praise this ability. in the episode "The Beard" (S06), Jerry begs George to help him beat a polygraph test, calling his ability "a gift." just as Edward dramatizes his lying to "putting on a show," George likens his talent to singing opera: "It's like saying to Pavarotti, 'Teach me to sing like you.'" the advice he gives Jerry aptly sums up George's philosophy: "It's not a lie if you believe it." how fitting that this is the mindset Edward employs to stay in Bella's life a little longer.

George & Edward's relationships not only showcase their ability to lie but follow similar paths. George faces Edward's exact dilemma: the choice to deny his nature (to the point of becoming vegetarian!) for an attractive woman in "The Secretary" episode of season 6. "You're luscious," he says to a beautiful applicant for an open secretary position. "You're ravishing. I would give up red meat just to get a glimpse of you in a bra." George chooses not to hire the attractive secretary... but ends up sleeping with his 'unattractive' secretary anyway. Edward, meanwhile, does the opposite: he chooses vegetarianism and to date the object of his affection, albeit with personal turmoil. where Edward chooses to be the man, George chooses to be the monster.

unsurprisingly, however, their low self-esteem is a frequent barrier to their romantic pursuits. these insecurities even lead them to preemptively decide to break up with their significant other. in George's case, the breakup in season 3's "The Pez Dispenser" is a means for him to protect himself & regain control:

“A preemptive breakup. This is an incredible idea. I got nothing to lose. We either break up, which she would do anyway, but at least I go out with some dignity.”

Edward seemingly breaks up with Bella to protect her. he knows he will leave her by page 368 of Midnight Sun. by page 746, he admits he's lying when he swears he won't leave her. "[T]he time would come, I was sure now, when I would have to convince her [I didn't want her]" (747). best-case scenario, he thinks, she will outgrow him (781), though it's clear she intends on forever. despite the evidence from Alice that Bella will be a catatonic mess, he leaves...several months later, after a near-fatal brush with Jasper. one might argue Edward's fear of love & intimacy leads him to break up with her as a means to protect himself from the harsh reality that she will die.

ultimately, George & Edward's failures in physical & emotional intimacy are rooted, at least in part, in an aversion to sex.

for both, the desire to feed presents a barrier to their lovemaking. Edward is unable to prolong his kisses with Bella, citing his thirst. he compares himself to "an alcoholic" & Bella to "a glass of hundred-year-old brandy, the rarest, finest cognac..." (Twilight, 13). similarly, in season 9's "The Blood," George finds he is always hungry around his partner & can't make love to her without eating. his attempt to introduce strawberries, chocolate sauce, & pastrami on rye into the bedroom snowballs into him sneaking sandwiches into bed. though George, unlike Edward, can satiate himself without murdering his girlfriend, his desire to feed still leads to his demise.

this aversion to sex extends beyond a conflict with their baser selves, however. we see George & Edward's insecurities & low self-esteem take a central role in their inability to engage in intimate relations.

“I don't like when a woman says, ‘Make love to me,’" says George in season 3's "The Stranded." "It's intimidating. The last time a woman said that to me, I wound up apologizing to her.”

this quote perfectly encapsulates Edward & Bella's wedding night. despite being intimidated by Bella's demand for sex, Edward acquiesces. upon discovering he bruised Bella, Edward confirms his worst fears, calls himself a monster, and says: "I'm...so sorry, Bella. [...] I am more sorry than I can tell you" (Breaking Dawn, 61). he then promises, "I will not make love with you until you've been changed. I will never hurt you again." (66)

oddly enough, the bleak outlook Edward takes on his sex life (i.e., not possible (Twilight, 147) & unrealistic (Eclipse, 299)) mirrors George's feelings re: sexual intimacy in "The Pony Remark" (S02):

“You know, I've been thinking. I cannot envision any circumstances in which I'll ever have the opportunity to have sex again. How's it gonna happen? I just don't see how it could occur.”

is this aversion to intimacy with women a product of George & Edward being queer-coded characters? even if Edward didn't worship the ground on which Carlisle "the soul of [the] family" (MS, 96) walked to the point where he hopes his face resembles Carlisle's "perfect" one (24, 387), he constantly thinks of his creator & tries to live up to Carlisle's perception of him (28, 347, 383, 387). this seems innocuous enough until we consider the fact that the vampire genre itself has queer roots. vampires have always served as a symbol for social outcasts; homosexual depictions, from the 1872 novel Carmilla to the 2020s reboot of Interview with a Vampire, are a common feature of the genre. through this lens, the virginal Edward Cullen pushing away his heterosexual partner while he envisions Carlisle's face takes on different connotations.

George, deeply in denial of his sexuality, upholds odd "rules" to avoid being seen as gay, from refusing to sit "boy-boy-girl" in a car ("The Ex-Girlfriend," S02), to reminding Jerry of his "unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality" before declaring Jerry's new jacket "fabulous." (his singing show tunes throughout "The Jacket" (S02)  still earns him the title of gay by another character, however.) he frequently goes into a gay panic: from being called out on his attraction to Jerry ("The Cartoon," S09), to being accused of falling in love with his friend Tony ("The Stall," S05), to being explicitly labeled as Jerry's romantic partner in season 4's "The Outing," he responds to challenges to his heterosexuality with anger, anxiety, dismay, & denial. he even shouts "IT [his penis] MOVED!" in response to being touched by an attractive male masseuse ("The Masseuse," S05). regardless of whether George may be gay or bisexual, George's record of "staunch heterosexuality" seems not as "unblemished" as he would like us to believe.

given all the similarities, one might think the biggest difference is their species: Edward is a mindreading vampire and George is a human. but George does note having an advanced sense of perception akin to Edward's telepathy: "I was personable, I was bright. [...] I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party" ("The Opposite," S05). additionally, while George may not be a literal vampire, he does have a parasitic nature. cheap & selfish, he frequently mooches off his friends & leaves them footing the bill. he also lies & manipulates for his own gain, including but not limited to faking a disability to have access to his own private bathroom at work ("The Butter Shave," S09), setting up a fake charity to avoid buying Christmas presents for his coworkers ("The Strike," S09), & falsifying statements to extend his unemployment benefits ("The Boyfriend, Part 1," S03). leeching off of others & the community is a hallmark of vampirism.

ultimately, the uncanny parallels between these two characters are impossible to ignore. George & Edward seem indeed the same person mirrored into different universes. so, what does this say about their creator(s)? this "coincidence" naturally begs the question: Are Jerry Seinfeld and Stephenie Meyer the same person? in Part 2 of this essay, we expl—

[poemtoken]

Dexter series finale so bad I needed an immediate rewatch so I could forget it happened

[sammygender]

if zuko isn’t meant to be gay then why do they write him. like that

[rubberbandballqueen]

so anxious abt work today that my brain is telling me to show up Now..... 90 minutes early............. inner chilchuck where are you...... save me....... save me inner chilchuck...............