#finally i wrote this up. i am proud of what i have been developing with my writing clint barton over the last 10 years.

[mastcrmarksman]

616 / main verse + divergence.

Finally writing my 616 verse up. Most 616 centric comics up from Clint's original appearance in the 60s up until the 2016 era of comics are canon and then from 2016 onwards, we start going heavily canon divergent from Civil War 2 and after. Instances of my 616 verse are specific and separate between rp partners, each post, and ships but some things remain always canon.

-> CW2 is handled very different and leans more into Government/Corrupt Politicians versus Superheroes. Clint does kill Bruce Banner, he does go on trial, and his reasoning is a lot more personal to himself and his long friendship with Bruce Banner; no one but Bruce and him truly know why he did it.

-> Occupy Avengers is vastly divergent, but the team of Red Wolf, Clint Barton, Nighthawk, Tilda, and Wheels going around solving problems does happen.

-> We ignore Secret Empire's existence and other marvel events from 2016 to Devil's Reign.

-> Kate's West Coast Avengers does happen and is mostly the same.

-> Carnage event with Clint, Cap, Spiderman, Logan, and Thing does happen.

-> Hawkeye: Freefall is canon and mostly untouched in changes made

-> Thunderbolts 2022 is largely changed that should it even count as happening? Clint is not leader of this TBs, but he is on the team

-> The jury is out on Black Widow & Hawkeye (2024), but signs point to non-canon or heavily divergent.

-> The rest of this post is detailing the this blog canon-divergent events from 2016 comics to 2022 comics.

Following the events of his acquittal for the killing of Bruce, Clint Barton goes on a long trip across the country. He travels from state to state, bar hopping, and trying to solve every day problems of average citizens. He ends with small team of lost souls along the way. His roadside hero days end when Kate Bishop calls for his help in setting up her own West Coast Avengers. Eventually, the call comes in for him to help Captain America with a crisis which lands him back in New York, which he had been staying away from.

This goes poorly as the city has changed, such as Wilson Fisk is now mayor. New York and what has happened to Superheroes is a big trigger for him, and it leads to excessive drinking and vigilantism. The pardoning of a known crime boss he had just busted leads to Clint starting guerilla warfare, while masked as Ronin himself, against the Hood. After his defeat of the Hood, Clint flees New York ago and goes on another soul searching journey, now a pariah amongst many of his friends.

Leaving NYC, his Avengers card, and cutting himself off from everyone due to what comes out about him after Freefall. He goes back to bar hopping across the country, feeling ashamed, lost, questioning how far was too far, what was worth it, and waiting out the end of Mayor Fisk's time in office. While in Ohio, Clint gets kicked out of a bar for disorder, and ends up crashing his motorcycle in a farmer's field in the middle of the night. When awakens, he's still hungover and hurt. Clint ends up in the hospital and refuses to contact anyone about this. This is his bottom, evident he has an alcohol problem. He ends up listening to a nurse who suggests he seek help, check out aa or rehab, and confront the fact he's an alcoholic. Any of this time, is not something that Clint talks about but it leaves to him returning to New York.

Things have hopefully cooled down in the City, moved on from his Ronin stunts and Clint's trying to fix his life, cut back on drinking, go sober (he's barely managing four months), and make a real change with himself. Make amends with his friends, with the Avengers, and find his place back in superhero society. Luke Cage is now mayor and offers him a way to do superheroics by the book as being part of the reclaimed NYC Thunderbolts, in hopes to repair New York's relationship with superheroes.

After a relapse early on with his new Thunderbolts team and a very heavy phone call with Bobbi, Clint attempts going sober fully again and this time with help. Present day Clint is struggling still with everything, trying to get back on good diet and workout routine, manage sobriety and self care, as well as battle with the internal war of his feelings about being on a super team and pondering if street level vigilantism may be his path in life now, and making amends with his friends and the avengers.

ADDITIONAL NOTES

-> To keep with his sobriety, Clint has the help of his friends, and one of who he calls his sponsor, @danversiism

-> Lucky is with him most of the team instead of Lucky being with Kate; the dog has been trained by him after all to be a disability aid (hearing dog), given Lucky tends to let him know when someone at the door as well as helps him feel secure in his home (dog will alert to intruders if he is sleeping) or comes with him on when he goes out in the world without his hearing aids in

-> Clint has three therapists in total since trying to put his life back together, manage his depression and adhd, cope with his trauma, and stick to sobriety. The first one was Lynette, who eventually he had move on from, a second one who shall not be named because he was not a good fit, and this third, most recent one is Johanna.

[bl4ckth0rn3]

Okay no fuck you guys it is 2am and I am gonna fucking rant cuz, respectfully, some of y'all are being so dumb. Like i get that different opinions are valid but the opinions are wrong and they're fuckin annoying as shit. More than anything, the criticism of the tv show changing details from the story is starting to really fucking piss me off.

1) the book is told from Percy’s perspective - there is NO WAY of making an adaptation 100% faithful from that because you don’t have insight into when he starts noticing when something’s wrong. To me, going into it knowing that Aunty Em was Medusa or Crusty was Procrustus made so much more sense. Not just because it made sense for the audience but also because we got to see how the characters acted in that situation.

2) PLUS, Percy is the definition of unreliable narrator. We finally see this shit from outside his dumbass-12-year-old-boy brain

3) if i see one more fucking comment about the solstice deadline passing I am gonna start throwing shit. It ADDED A NEW DIMENSION. It made it seem like all their work up until that point had been hopeless which was SO POWERFUL and gave us real insight into Percy's fucking resilience. Fuck yall.

4) the pearls as well. Not being funny, but that was literally one of the greatest changes. Wanna know why, fucknuts? BECAUSE the story wasn't just from Percy's POV which meant that we got more of Sally's backstory w Poseidon which means it makes sense that he would want to save her. He loves her.

5) the story is nearly 20 years old. Let Rick update it and write it the way he wants to write it in 2024. (Prime example: Medusa = still a villain, but acknowledged as a victim)

6) ABOVE ALL, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ABOUT THIS ADAPTATION WAS STAYING TRUE TO THE CHARACTERS (which a certain film or two pointedly failed to do). The characters are why Rick wrote the book in the first place, giving his kids a place to feel seen in mainstream media and offering up really positive role models whilst he was at it. Percy is loyal, and determined, and kind, and brave. Annabeth is proud, and brilliantly intelligent, and strong, and independent. Grover is true, and just, and innocent, and good. If you all really can't see past changes that really didn't ultimately dramatically effect character development/more general plot progression then honestly i wonder what you ever thought you were gonna get out of it.

7) it’s Rick’s story. Let him do whatever the fuck he wants with the world he very kindly gifted to us. This was an excellent tv show, y’all are just bitter because it wasn’t copy+pasted from the book.

[sweetpeasummers]

Everything That I Want

Summary: Leon has been avoiding you and you’re worried about the reason why.

Word Count: 3.2k

Rated: Explicit (Language, Smut, Mentions of Death)

Pairing: Leon/Fem!Reader  

Author’s Note: I originally wrote this when RE4 first came out as Leon/OC, but am not comfortable uploading that. So I took my favorite bits (more to come), edited them on my own into something I’m proud to post and here we are. I will be uploading to Ao3 later.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Resident Evil nor any of the characters.

It's been a frustrating few weeks and you're trying to do anything to not think about why your partner Leon Kennedy has been avoiding you. Which is why you find yourself at the gym hoping to bench press your way into oblivion. You grip the bar, take a deep breath in, lift the bar and lower it to your chest, exhaling you push it out away from you.

One...Two...Three...Four

You set a steady rhythm desperately willing the simple act to clear your mind the way it typically does, but you feel it start to wander again. What in the hell is going? One day he was Leon your friend and partner and the next he was...gone. He hadn't returned any of your phone calls and every time you were in a room together he'd make some weak excuse as to why he had to leave. It was confusing and as time dragged on downright hurtful.

You'd always had a bit of a thing for him ever since you were first paired together, his good looks had drawn you in, but his snarky one liners and compassionate, friendly nature had endeared him to you in a way no other man ever had. Initially it wasn't easy being paired together. Leon was leery and jaded though warmed to you quickly. He threw himself into the work, you admired his drive and told him as such. Though on more than one occasion he joked about being forced into it. When you pushed for an explanation he told you everything; the outbreak in Raccoon City, the creatures he fought, and how he barely made it out. Then admitted he wasn't given a choice to become an agent. His vulnerability made you confess to your share of misery, the T-Virus leaked in your rural town. Killing reanimated corpses of the people you knew and loved was a nightmare you'd never forget. Subsequently you weren't given a choice either. Your relationship was different afterwards. You turned to each other, shared secrets, doubts, and even fears with one another. The innocent crush you had on him developed into something so much deeper. The job was brutal and having a partner you could rely on was more important than a boyfriend, so you buried those feelings. It was so damn hard because sometimes you thought he was flirting with you but chalked it up to you seeing what you wanted to see. So you stayed guarded, pulled away just enough to still be considered professional, but weren't always successful. Maybe Leon finally figured it out, caught on to the fact that you had feelings for him beyond what a friend or partner should and it freaked him out.

You hated not knowing, sighing heavily, you look up at the man spotting you. Daniel was such a nice man, one of the few agents to have a normal life outside of the insanity that was your job. He owned the gym you were in, had a wife and a little family. He was happy. One of the more well adjusted agents you'd met and couldn't help but wonder if it was because of his life outside of missions. You attempted to date but every relationship fizzled out.

“Could you add more weight please?” you ask Daniel. You hope the extra weight will make you focus. He reluctantly does, you grip the bar and lift up your hand slips and the weighted bar comes dangerously close to crushing your throat, but Dan catches it in time and together you put it back in place. You sit up breathing heavy, shaken from what just happened.

“What is going on Y/N, you look like shit?” he asks gruffly.

“Thanks I feel like shit.” you reply still trying to compose yourself.

“You wanna talk about it or do you wanna hit something” Dan asks you. You always appreciated his bluntness.

“I wanna hit something.” you quickly respond. Not even knowing where you'd begin to explain your situation with Leon with any sort of anonymity. It'd be embarrassingly obvious who you're talking about.

“I can help you with that.” Dan motions to you to follow him. He leads you down the hall to a large empty room with a ring. He throws you a pair of gloves and gets in the ring. You spend the next half hour sparring, Dan was right it did help.

“Thanks for helping me out,” you say and truly mean it. You feel less tense, like you could go home and not mope around your apartment.

“Yeah no problem,” Dan answers cheerfully, “You seem like you needed it. If you don't want to be alone you could come and have dinner with me and the Mrs. You know Julia always makes enough to feed a small army.”

It's tempting, you feel better than you did earlier, but also you know you'd still be miserable company.

“Maybe some other time, thank you for the offer.” you respond with a small smile.

“I'll hold you to that,”Dan replies.

Before you can leave, you hear a door open and footsteps approaching, Dan looks behind you and waves. He calls out “Hey Leon long time no see!”

You freeze, oh you're tense all over again, suddenly it feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room. You hear Leon chuckle and answer with “Yeah I've been busy, had a lot to think about.”

Okay, Leon hasn't been avoiding just you it seems. You turn and see him walk closer to where you and Dan were standing. Well that's different you thought, but stay quiet whatever he was going through he'd made it clear he didn't want your help. You just look away and focus on a random spot on the wall. You tune out their conversation lost in your own thoughts. Normally Leon's presence was a comfort but now it was bringing a god awful stew of emotion you felt these past few weeks to the surface. You wanted to stay and try to talk to him again, but decide you have to go before it bubbled over and you did something embarrassing like sob or scream. You try to leave quietly, but you feel a hand softly catch you by your wrist.  You're shocked to see its Leon holding on to you. You get your first good look at him. He looks exhausted, nervous and unsure of himself.

“Y/N, please don't leave. I need to talk to you.” you hear Leon say. You pull your wrist out of his grasp and stay in place. Good or bad it seems like whatever is going on can finally be over.

“Well I don't want to keep Jules waiting so I'm going to head out, unless,” Daniel trails off looking at you with a nervous smile on his face. You look away from Leon to Dan then back to Leon and take a deep breath hoping it's enough to calm yourself before speaking,

“It's okay you can go Dan. I'm actually very curious as to what he has to say to me.” Your response does absolutely nothing to alleviate the tension in the room.

Dan breathes out a shaky “Okay, you two are the last ones in the building, you know where the keys are. Could you lock up on your way out?” Dan walks away quickly looking back and gives you both a small wave on his way out the door.

“Do you think you'd want something like that?” Leon asks you.

“Like what, you mean like what Dan and Julia have?” you ask and answer your own question. You don't give Leon a chance to respond before asking him what you've wanted to ask him for weeks.

“Leon, what's going on? Why have you been avoiding me?” you ask more hurt than you wanted spills out, perhaps the feeling hadn't completely faded. You cross your arms bracing yourself for his answer.

Leon winces before continuing, “I've been a real dick haven't I?”

You nod your head not trusting yourself to speak. Leon continues, “I'm sorry. I've gone about this all wrong. I didn't want to hurt you I just needed time to get this right.”

It feels like your head is spinning, you want to ask more questions, but you press your lips together and let him continue.

“It never felt right with anyone else and it killed me every time I saw you walk away with another man. For so long I couldn't understand why, ever since Raccoon City I've shut a part of myself down. Detached, because I thought it was the safest thing to do. It's easier. It's also pretty damn isolating. I finally figured it out. I want something more outside of just being an agent. I want something that isn't death and monsters and lies. I wanna be happy, every time I think about what that looks like it's with you. I know what I just said could make you uncomfortable and I will respect and decision you make.” he finishes breathlessly. He still looks nervous but like a weight has been lifted from him.

Your mouth falls open in shock, you slowly uncross your arms and let them fall to your sides. That he wants to be with you wasn't even in the realm of possible things you thought he might say. How could the two of you have gotten it so wrong. All this time you thought you were making him uncomfortable and he thought he was going to make you uncomfortable. You were so wrapped up in hiding your feelings you missed his right in front of you. Three years worth of memories hit you like a truck; so  many conversations, stories shared, dinners that weren't dates, shouldn't be dates but in hindsight very much were. You remember the night he admitted to you he didn't know how to keep living with what he'd been through.  You stayed with him until he fell asleep. He always returned the favor, some mornings you'd wake to the smell of coffee and his smiling face. How could you have been so blind? It didn't matter though Leon wants to be with you. You want to be with him. Happiness blooms and spreads in your chest, your lips lift in a brilliant smile. You can see the moment it clicks in Leon's head that you feel the same way he does. He's just waiting for you to say it.

“I want everything and I want it with you.” You reply. You're both so giddy you almost don't know what to do with yourselves. He steps towards you until there's the barest breath of space between your bodies. Leon is staring at your lips while slowly leaning down. Unable to speak you nod your head. He reaches his hand to cup your face and your lips meet. It's the sweetest and gentlest you've ever been kissed. You lift your hands up to hold onto to his arms afraid if you don't you'll melt into a puddle on the floor. You break apart, but he keeps his hands on your face Leon rests his forehead against yours and closes his eyes.

“I want you,” he whispers roughly. A different kind of tension fills the room, heat flushes through your whole body.

“Then take me.” you simply reply. “Here, now, please. You heard Dan we're the only two people in the building..” You waited years for this you don't want to wait any longer.

His eyes snap open. He pulls his head back and drops his hands to rest on your upper arms. A delicious smile spreads across his handsome face at your suggestion. You reach up to grab his hand and without a lick of shame guide him down the front of your pants to cup your warm center. You whimper, your lasciviousness sends Leon over the edge. He yanks his hand away, wraps you in his arms and kisses you. There's nothing sweet or gentle about it this time. He's desperate, like a long-lost lover coming home. You give as good as you get wrapping your arms around his neck to press yourself closer to him. You feel him half hard against your belly and gasp, Leon slips his tongue into your mouth deepening the kiss. You continue on like that for a few minutes, barely breaking apart for breath, hands roaming each other's bodies touching everything and anything you both could reach. You run a hand through his hair, down his chest, and palm his erection through his shorts.

“God yes,” he whimpers.

He pulls away from you and reaches behind  himself to yank his shirt off and throws it down on the mat. You're a bit lost at the suddenness of it but follow Leon as he pulls you down to sit on his discarded top.

Aching to touch him again, to feel his bare skin against yours, you pull your shirt up and over your head, Leon grabs it and throws it behind him. You both try and get your sports bra off but the sweat coating your body makes it difficult and your arms are sore from your punishing workout earlier. This bra ain't coming off without a fight. In your frustration you pull from the bottom up enough to free your breasts. Your spandex bottoms prove to be just as difficult, you kick a shoe off and manage to get one leg out. Leon leans back and shoves his own pants and boxers down to his knees freeing his cock. He moves to balance on one knee awkwardly struggling with his clothes. It doesn't dampen the mood as you can see his thick cock bobbing with his every movement, you're keenly aware of how empty you feel as your cunt clenches around nothing.

Once his clothes were sufficiently dealt with Leon looks down at you, eyes heavy with desire and you shiver. He pushes you gently to your back and moves to cover your body with his. Your stomach tightens as he lowers his open mouth toward your chest. He runs his teeth along a hardened nipple before taking it into his mouth and sucking. Your head tilts back and your mouth falls open in a silent gasp. Your hands find the back of his head and hold him close to you. He switches to the other breast lavishing attention there. His other hand slips down to pull your panties aside to slide two fingers through your wetness and into your cunt, fucking you open. When he crooked his fingers just right and rubbed your swollen clit with his thumb the pleasure was so intense you felt as though you were melting, but it wasn't enough. You needed him inside of you.

“Please,” you whine “I'm ready. Fuck me.”

His mouth moves away from your breasts, “Yes ma'am” he rasps against your ear.

He takes his hand away, you look down, spread your thighs farther apart plant your feet down and see him grab his cock and guide it into you. You both groan in pleasure as he smoothly sinks all the way in and finds his rhythm thrusting into you. You'll never be able to be in the room again without thinking of the delicious feeling of Leon inside you, your soft breasts pressed against his hard chest, his ragged breathing in your ear. The wet slapping sound of your bodies meeting. You kiss every part of him you can reach. Your hands run through his hair and nails score down his back. They finally land to hold on to his shoulders. Leon Kennedy is your entire universe at this moment and nothing has ever felt more right.

He moves a hand down between to where your bodies are joined and rubs his thumb against your sensitive clitoris again, its all you need. You move to wrap your thighs around his waist, the orgasm flashes bright and fast through your body. You come hard moaning his name.

You feel him stop moving and hear him say, “Shit no condom.”

He moves back slightly, removing your legs from around his waist and back down to the mat still spread wide apart. Leon pulls out of you entirely, gripping the base of his cock tightly. Through the haze of your orgasm you realize what's happening and before he can do anything you lick your own palm, bat his hand away and make a fist around his cock. You massage and stroke the jutting flesh between his thighs while encouraging him to thrust. It doesn't take more than five thrusts before you see and feel copious amounts of thick, wet come on your belly. He groans what sounds like your name, eyes tightly shut, mouth open with the mind numbing pleasure. You let go of his softening cock and wrap your arms around him, relaxing your legs to brush against his. He sags boneless against your chest uncaring of the mess now between your bodies.

Reluctantly he rolls away from you still trying to catch his breath. You sit up, push your bra back down, find your shirt and use it to wipe the come off your stomach then move to wipe the remnants of it off of his him. Luckily you have a change of clothes in your gym bag. He mumbles a thank you before pulling you down to cuddle by his side. He wraps his arms around you and presses a kiss to the top of your head.  You can't wait till the next time when you're in a place where you can both take your time to explore and luxuriate in each other's bodies. You'd never been so hot for another person that you couldn't wait till you were in a private place. The thought brings you back to reality and you tense up, remembering where you are. Leon feels your discomfort.

“You finally realize how out in the open we are, haven't you,” he chuckles a bit. Too mortified to reply you simply nod your head still holding onto him. He sits up bringing you with him. He tucks a stray bit of hair behind your ear and says, “Go home. I'll meet you there in fifteen minutes.”

“Promise?” you ask, reluctant to be away from him even for a short time.

“Promise,” he breathes his answer against your kiss swollen mouth. He kisses you quickly and gets up to get dressed. You smile and do the same.

There would be consequences to what the two of you had done. A romantic relationship between agents was deeply frowned upon. Damn the consequences, you could worry about that later, besides you can't imagine Leon cares much about them either. The smile on his face echos the one on yours. Confident about the place in each other's lives the weight of life shifted, now balanced comfortably between the two of you. The odds weren't in your favor but you'd take the bad with the good as long as you had him.

[premenstrualhomicide]

2023 intentional feminism [SUCCESS]

hey ladies! about a year and a half ago i finally wrote a list of feminist goals for myself, and as of this month, i've completed them all. intentional feminist action is something that has become very important to me and has effectively improved my confidence, body neutrality, social awareness, and overall wellbeing. i'm really proud of myself so i thought i'd share my success with y'all and talk a little bit about the journey.

GOAL #1: STOP WEARING SKIN MAKEUP

this was one of the first ones i completed, although getting comfortable with the change took a bit longer. i threw out all concealers, foundations, etc. shortly after writing my list of goals, and luckily my frugality saved me from going out and buying more in moments of low self-esteem. the hardest part of this goal was when, about 9 months after i had stopped wearing skin makeup, i developed a chronic illness that frequently flares up and is very visible. since then, i have had many days where i have to force myself to go out with blotchy, red, even bruised skin covering my face, and limbs. it's been difficult to adjust to strangers staring at me, but i'm really proud to say i've grown more comfortable in my skin as a result and have not given in to the urge to cover my symptoms with makeup.

GOAL #2: STOP WEARING EYE MAKEUP

eyeliner was a lot harder to surrender. in my teenage years, i wore a lot of eyeliner, often sharp and dramatic wings. i leaned heavily into the alternative style because i felt i wasn't attractive enough to perform femininity in the more traditional or conventional way. so for many months after giving up my concealer, i still wore eyeliner frequently. but in the year 2023, i've worn eye makeup a total of 1 time (with the exception of costume/cosplay makeup). it's a difficult thing to let go of, because almost all the pictures i have of myself as a teenager depict me with my eyes neatly framed with dark wings. and i'll admit it: it looks fantastic on me. but i've found ways to keep myself from falling back into that addiction, like not taking selfies of myself as frequently as i used to, not using social media, practicing body neutrality, and remembering the ultimate reason i'm doing this: to help other women feel comfortable in their natural state.

GOAL #3: STOP BUYING UNCOMFORTABLE CLOTHES

right now my wardrobe contains quite a few tiny skirts, crop tops, and other mobility-restricting, revealing articles of clothing. i'm slowly phasing them out as i shift my apparel to more oversized clothes, sweaters, men's jeans, professional suits for my career, and long skirts in which i can easily move. what has helped is a new job at a company that sells bras, panties, pajamas, and loungewear to women who want to be comfortable. we provide a less objectifying alternative to stores like victoria's secret, and so my employee discount has made it easy to stock up on unbelievably soft cardigans, pajamas, and wireless bras.

GOAL #4: STOP SHAVING

two things i learned after i stopped shaving: 1. there's a significant number of women who don't shave but have such fine/light body hair that it appears as though they shave regularly. 2. i am not one of those women. shaving had been a sisyphean struggle for me since the age of 12. my body hair is dark, grows quickly, and will do everything in its power to make "smooth legs" impossible. i remember years of researching different methods of shaving and hair removal, googling how to prevent "strawberry legs", buying various creams and lotions and exfoliants just so i could obtain that air-brushed look that seemed to come naturally to all the girls around me. giving up on shaving forced me to confront the truth: i am a hairy woman. i have hairy arms, hairy legs, hairy toes, i even have some visible mustache hair. while i will sometimes meet women at university who don't use makeup for any number of reasons (yay!), it is very rare that i see other women with hairy legs. and god have i been searching. in fact, i can only think of one time in this year and a half i've seen another female who visibly doesn't shave, and then i found out they don't even identify as a woman. very disheartening. i'll keep wearing shorts and being hairy in hopes that my female peers and younger girls will have a change of heart, but for now it still feels a bit alienating.

GOAL #5: JOIN A FEMINIST ISSUES ORGANIZATION

!!!!!!! very proud to say i had the opportunity to work for the Feminist Majority Foundation during this past election season. my state had a very critical piece of pro-choice legislation on the ballot in november, so my job was to canvass students on and off my campus, and to provide reliable information about the issue. so happy to have played a role in securing abortion rights for women in my state. for any women wanting to get involved with feminist orgs and potentially make some money, the FMF has a great list of job listings!

GOAL #6: JOIN AN ALL-WOMEN CLUB

this is similar to goal #5, but i wanted to find a space where i could be away from men, but without the pressures of activism or employment. i just wanted a fun, preferably creative activity i could do with women! and this month, i was approved to join a feminist writing/art publication at my university! i'm on their design team, so i get to make cool t-shirt designs and will help with the aesthetics and layout of the publication once we have all of our submissions in. it's about 8 female students, all of which identify as women which is always a plus, and i'm having a blast so far. female separatism isn't something that's realistic for me at this point in my life, but having little groups like this away from males is really comforting.

GOAL #7: SOCIALLY SURROUND MYSELF WITH (MOSTLY) WOMEN

like i said above, i'm no hard separatist. it's a dream that maybe i'll be able to reach someday when i have more financial independence, but for now i do frequently interact with men. i have a couple male friends, i have a good relationship with my brother and my dad, and there's always going to be men in my classes. this goal was intended to remedy the issue i encountered during my teenage years: i'd spent so long removing myself from the idea of womanhood that i barely had any female friends. for the same reasons i didn't feel like a woman for a long time, i didn't interact with women on a personal level for years. there's a few ways i have worked to fix this in 2023. first, i have made substantial progress in mending my relationship with my mom. we hadn't been close since i was very young, and the fact that i related more to my dad only further pushed us apart. i always had seen her as a traditionalist, because she had some outdated beliefs and didn't affirm my gender identity when i was identifying as trans, but post-peak reflection made me realize she was incredibly progressive for her era. she had a college degree, she waited a long time to have children, she was independent and competitive. i took time to apologize to her for the things i said in past years, and acknowledged her positive impact on me as a woman. we spend more time together now and are planning a road trip together in january :) i also try to prioritize making plans with the female friends i have made at university. it's fun to find events to bring them to, or just to have dinner together. in addition, i had the opportunity to travel abroad with three women, and the (somewhat terrifying) experience provided some wonderful bonding. two of the three are now some of my closest friends. finally, i now have a part-time job at a women's intimates store, like i said above. every employee there is a woman, and i'm the youngest, so it's given me a chance to interact with a wide variety of ages. some of them are grandmothers, some of them have never had kids, some of them are married, some of them are divorced. it's the sweetest group of women and i especially love talking to my manager, a tall, loud, 50-year-old misandrist who lives alone with dogs she's rescued from abusive homes and spends her money on travel and her passion for football. i really value time and conversation with older women now.

2023 has been a year of purging. i've cleansed my life of beauty routines, body expectations, my ex-boyfriend (ew), and it's given me the strength to continue my self-improvement and feminist work. i started the year still struggling with eating disorder recovery, recently assaulted by my ex-boyfriend, and frequently having nightmares. now, my grades have improved, i often surprise myself with how little i care about my appearance, and i've stopped having sex with men.

for 2024, my goal is to continue my cleansing work and to make it a year of cultivation. i want to cultivate my education and to cultivate skills like sewing my own clothes, cooking, growing food, and writing fiction. in addition, i will cultivate the female relationships i've established. wish me luck, and happy new year! :)

[iamjustalittle]

ABO, Mpreg, Alpha Max / Omega Daniel, ~800 Words.

This was the first fic that I wrote about Maxiel when my friend asked me to take a look at this madness of a couple. And I did and went insane. So the dynamic is not very exactly what I think they will share if I write it again but I think it is kinda funny nevertheless.

Family Day was usually Daniel's responsibility. Daniel was super popular among kids, parents, and teachers – at this point, it was no surprise. Every time he went to pick up Jasper, their little boy, he brought some snacks and bribed many of the kids' classmates, which went a very long way.

Although Daniel loved Family Day very much and even wanted to take the opportunity from Max again, the healthy development of a child required both fathers to do their jobs. It was really weird how he got to this point if you thought about seven years ago. Daniel had been (literally) screaming like a pile of chicken in front of the mirror when he took a look at the pregnancy test and woke up Max, who went straight into full panic mode. He had only had some dumbass experiences with kids, them flopping to the ground and crying, and he had been dying, laughing his brain out by their side.

How he had made it this far, he had no clue, but for one, Daniel was very proud of himself.

He had to comfort himself with something good because Max going to Family Day alone was stressing him out. Max was a very good dad, don't get him wrong, but sometimes they, both of them, pulled some ridiculous dad shit that a dad would do.

The theme of Family Day was to build electric toy cars. Parents and kids worked together, and based on the results of a series of small games, they could choose different parts to assemble the final car. Finally, the cars raced on a 100-meter track on the playground.

Both Verstappens were very serious. Between the two, one was much more serious than the other—one of them went to the teachers almost at every step to discuss the reasonableness of the race design. Well, this indeed put the teachers and the principal in an awkward position. This seriousness could be understood because Family Day was planned based on the parents' different professions, and the WDC was probably not included in the teachers' prepared plans originally. Max thought they should. This was Monaco, at the end of the day.

Things finally got out of control when they were ready to bring the race cars on the scene. Little Verstappen had probably never been treated this way by his dad, as Max just snatched away the better toy tire that they won from the previous game. He faced his deflated tire on his toy car and watched his dad write on his own car: "No.1 Verstappen."

"Daddy," he poked Max's waist. "I am No.1 Verstappen."

"Who said that?" Max raised the toy car in his hand and examined it from the back (rear wing), actually not even giving his son a glance.

"Papa. Papa said I am the best Verstappen!" the son said proudly, patting his chest.

"Papa's number is 3. How does he know who No.1 is?" Max said sincerely. "Papa is lying to you. I think I am No.1, and everyone can see that. I mean you also have Ricciardo in your name!”

Jasper just could not understand what he was talking about. He’s six. But Max just kept going.

“And you know, daddy’s name is Max. Do you know what Max means? Max means the greatest in English. Which means No.1.”

“And also the first No.1 to your papa. Most importantly.” He added. Sebastian’s face showed up in his mind for a moment, which made his voice even louder and clearer.

At least this time his son got the memo.

When Daniel arrived at the scene, his son was still sobbing in the teacher's arms and didn't want to come out. Max stood beside the teacher, looking helpless, with messy hair and shirt. He tried to coo and had no luck whatsoever. He scratched his head, also on the edge of freaking out as he glanced at Daniel, with a scent full of chaos. "We haven't even competed... He has been crying! Why is he crying?"

Daniel's veins were about to pop from his head. He apologized to the teacher, half-knelt in front of little Ricciardo-Verstappen, wiped his tears, hurriedly offered him a strawberry lollipop, and then hugged him, patting Jasper’s back, while giving Max a stern look. "What did you say?"

"I didn't say anything, I mean, my car is just a little better than his, that's the truth..."

An Alpha being stared at by an Omega and retreating, how strange. Max began to pull his hair again, and he started to explain with his hands everywhere. "I said I am the number one Verstappen... You shouldn't lie to him because I mean you love…"

"Max Verstappen," Daniel interrupted. "Shut your mouth."

[thesherrinfordfacility]

it's high time that i redid the ✨masterpost✨ of all the shit floating around this blog where i say anything arguably insightful, existential/philosophical, or even just teetering on the cusp of being vaguely intelligent, so voila here you go and fucking enjoy:

worth having a looksie through this: longwinded anon (LWA)✨ masterpost

and then because i am actually so proud of these i did video edits to lewis capaldi (he's my hozier fight me) and im sorry but my beat matching is insane, godlike even:

season 2 (forget me)

season 1 (heavenly kind of state of mind)

also:

did i get emotional over crowley's fall and having to leave behind his creations and aziraphale's various conflicts in faith? you're goddamn right i did (credit to hillywood for the fall scenes that sent me into a frenzy)

stuff that is potentially relevant to s3 or is essentially my safe space to shit on these two incompetent-ass characters for being the most ridiculous beings god ever conceived:

(be warned, all of these will conflict each other bc im a loose cannon, a wildcard, and can't settle on a single thing)

(no seriously my opinion changes over time so interpretations that i once held might no longer be the interpretation that i have now, ya feel me)

you wanted a s3 plot prediction, right?

aziraphale brought an ak-47 to a fist fight and ohooo boy did it have Consequences

god i really ought to work out a tagging system in here, huh - this is my ramble on what i think could have happened during the fall

just a small one on the 1967 scene and the holy water thing (tw: suicide)

crowley found the book of life and tbh it was very james bond of him

saraqael rapidly slotting into my top 5 GO characters based on a singular hc wahoo

fuckin ✨1941✨ (this also upsets ALL of my interpretations of the Final Fifteen which... well what can u do)

a fucking rug just put shivers down my spine

more on raphael/azazel/scapegoat/fall theory, glorious smart anons are feeding me yummy soup

perhaps a more comprehensive rambling on omelas, scapegoats, and Those Promo Photos

an updated maggie rambling why not, she's still giving me a headache (and this ask neatly summarises some stuff too!)

my boy crowley really doesn't like change, does he wee baby (may develop this into a full meta who knows)

you know i think heaven might just be the bad place, i know - shocker

god i hope i was possessed by agnes nutter when i wrote this

a gifset format bc i cba to write, but aziraphale might have been, or might become, raphael

ive lied like a rug in previous theory posts: THIS one, this time travel clusterfuck, is the bottom of the barrel

spent hours studying michael sheens face in utter disbelief that he is capable of portraying every emotion known to man, and wrote about it (ie my take on the kiss)

i think goob might have been more important in the mega miracle than we initially thought (and no - not in the way you're currently thinking)

aziraphale and suffering are pretty well acquainted with each other (warning: i absolutely HATE this meta it's so bad)

um i guess you could term this as god is dead theory? nietzsche strikes again anyway

we REALLY hit rock bottom in the theory stakes with this one, lads (it's about whether crowley does in fact fully remember the fall)

(REWORKED) greasy johnson is the second coming. that's it. that's the post.

finally wrote about the book of life well done me

crowley was offered the same chance as aziraphale, im fairly sure, and as far as ive seen noone noticed??

the motif of lies in job made me come over all poetic

relativity is NOT my milieu especially in GO but giving it my best shot

hahaha is everything aziraphale's fault hahahaha

fuckinnnn BOOOOOOKKKSSSSS

EVERY DETAIL MATTERS? YEAH I SHOULD FUCKING THINK SO (and im still keeping this on here bc if im right in s3 im never going to shut up)

job is crowley and crowley is job except job didn't get sent to sit on the naughty step

never thought id see the day where i analyse richard curtis' 4WAAF but this show has got me whipped, jumping through hoops and over stalls like a fucking show pony

i have the dreadful feeling that we might have been fools by sleeping on aziraphale's own angelic importance all this time

did the costume department just simply go ham in s2 or are the angel costumes Important?

more on outfits

ruminations on the fall, morality and omniscience vs. free will, and making choices as if i have any idea what im talking about

okay this one is a little shitpost-y but the message is sound and im an un-apologetic aziraphale supporter, sue me

a sprinkle of s2 symbology, a dash of ineffable plan speculation, and laure girlbossing on how the two go together mwah

this was sooooo tasty i love talking about nietzsche

honestly this one doesn't even have a theme i just like talking to people

okay so this is the genesis of my aziraphale defence league (population: like 15% of the fandom) but i will not stop until he gets the recognition and empathy he mf deserves

Cancel Metatron 2k23

this was pre-s2 but the concept still stands: something feels icky about crowley's fall narrative and the book of life is ringing alarm bells

the concept of pedestals is one of my juicy favourites in psychology and you will find out just how much if you stick around this blog long enough (aziraphale's critique)

and lastly crowley's narrative of his fall? hm, big issue there and honestly the root of all Crowley discourse on this blog, be duly warned

old stuff if you fancy having a giggle at my expense

come chat to me about things

[exitpursuedbyavulcan]

Hiiiii how have you been doing 🥰🥰

Actually this is my very first ask on this site so 😭😭 just wanna say i adore your Studious series A LOT from the pining to the pace you set to the misunderstanding EVERYTHING

May I ask do u have any plan to post the next parts 😭😭😭 just wandering if u have any new update or a sneak peek maybe 🫣🫣🫣 dont pressure urself pls no matter what u put out i would appreciate it like so much

Pls stay healthyyyyyyy ilu

I am so honored to be the recipient of your first ask! And I am BEYOND flattered by your compliments! 🥰

The next part should be out this week! My laptop was out for repairs basically since I posted the last part, so my writing process has been slowed. I've literally been writing with pen and paper.

(That's actually been very conducive to writing the Aemond diary pieces tbh)

But now, my laptop is returned and fully functional again! So I just have to type up everything in my journal and add some of the in-between bits and viola!

And because you were so sweet, you may, of course, have a sneak peek:

Studious III Sneak Peak

The 16th day in the third moon of the year.

The betrothal has been settled. Finally.

I doubt I could have endured another miserable day of sitting in Grandsire’s study, listening to him read each of the letters sent by lords from throughout the realm, desperate to pawn their daughters off to a Prince of the Realm. Though I suppose I should be grateful he had already whittled the list down to only the two-score ladies he found the most politically advantageous.

Aegon told me that more than a hundred letters arrived. So, it could have been much worse.

Every letter was nearly the same, listing the family’s wealth and assets along with their daughters ‘accomplishments.’ In truth, calling them such seems far too generous. What does a scrap of embroidery or a reasonably well-played song truly accomplish, other than a few fleeting moments of mediocre beauty? It always fades.

Besides, every highborn lady is trained in the same skills, so they are hardly exceptional.

You frowned, looking up from the journal and at the dozens of examples of your own embroidery scattered throughout the room – including on the blanket you laid under. True, they were not always perfect, but you were proud of each and every one of them.

Then there was your little lyre, sitting by the sun. You hadn’t had the chance to play since coming to the capital, and you realized in that moment that you truly missed it. Once, it had been second nature to pick it up immediately upon waking and pluck nonsensically at the strings as your maids readied you for the day.

Those songs – if they could be called songs at all –were always your favourites. Wholly unique creations of your mind, never transposed, never to be played the same again. For a moment, you almost stood and retrieved the lyre, just to see what your hands would create in this moment.

But that would require setting down Aemond’s diary.

You looked back down at his words and frowned again. It took no small amount of time and effort to develop your skills. In fact, you were quite proud of what you had accomplished. No one was born knowing how to embroider or play music.

Neither was anyone born knowing how to wield a sword or ride a dragon.

Your frown faded at that thought, as you imagined how Aemond would look if you said that to him. The memory of him in the library when you snapped back at him, looking like a befuddled fish, returned to you. It was so enticing that you called for one of your maids to bring your diary, a pen, and ink.

Turning to the first blank page, you noted the date of Aemond’s offending entry and wrote out exactly how you would rebuff him if he had said such a thing to you.

Perhaps, when you were done reading, you would tell him. That is, if you wanted to talk to him at all.

[sarah-sandwich-writes]

HOLD ON WAIT UP HOLD THE PHONE

I KNOW I WAS GONE FOR A FEW MONTHS THERE BUT HAS BLUE LIKE DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME ALWAYS BEEN A PART OF A SERIES OR IS THAT A NEW DEVELOPMENT???

I FEEL LIKE ITS CHRISTMAS ALL OVER AGAIN FUCK Y E A H

Okay so

I...

have been cooking

by which I mean illusions of grandeur and

schemes

And I have not been forthcoming lol Everyone kind of disappeared all at the same time so I kind of stopped talking about what I'm doing but I have been biding my time, quietly putting mechanisms into motion and plotting and occasionally cackling over my cauldron.

I finished the first draft of Blue like don't forget about me and didn't like it so I cut out all the sci-fi fantasy stuff (bye bye aliens farewell superpowers) and in November wrote a new first draft that's all contemporary romance babeee and I'm so in love with it I'm turning it into a little 3-part (possibly 4 if I can't control myself) series.

The original childhood years have been split off into a prequel novella called Red like my bleeding heart in your hand. Then Blue like don't forget about me will take place 20 years later. Nash works at Cherished Hope Nursing Home

“And what is it you do? At the nursing home, I mean.” I wipe shit off of old people. And Teddy’s a hockey player. What’s Luke, an underwear model? He shouldn’t have come.

Teddy comes back to town for a funeral and

Teddy looks at him for the first time in twenty years and every ounce of warmth leaves his expression. Message received. He should not have come.

OKAY SO AND THEN the next book will be Jo's POV and is called Violet like these delights. and MAYBE there will be a 4th from Luke's POV bc he gets to live this time by the grace of god (me) but it'll depend on how Violet goes (its current state is mostly vibes and a single overarching theme so, stand by).

Red needs a clean-up round of edits to snip out the few little threads that connected it to OG blue. And rewritten blue is basically done. I've done the major revisions and am about to start line edits and after those are done I'm sending it out to beta readers (lmk if you're interested).

There are concise actual summaries in my pinned post btw lol

WHICH REMINDS ME

The series title is Wildflowers of Deliverance. Which I'm extremely proud of. Did you notice did you notice how each title incorporates a wildflower did you did you? and the town they grew up in where Nash and Teddy first met is called Deliverance!!! It's okay I know I'm a genius.

And this brings us to the meal okay? because like I said I've been Cooking™ quietly but steadily for a few months now. ANd what have I been cooking? PLOTS and PLANS

I've decided on a pen name: Sarah B. Elisa

I've created a(nother) side blog for it that will be exclusively centered on my og writing and geared more toward readers rather than writers like this blog is: @sarahbe-writing

I'm going to create a website (as soon as I convince myself to spend money)

and a newsletter (as soon as I convince myself to spend money and do work)

I'm still waffling between trad publishing and DIY. I really like all my hats and it would be a shame to have to share them but oh my god I don't want to do all the marketing but trad pub seems hit or miss on how well they market you so I might get half of my hats taken away and still have to do the marketing bullshit UGH

anyway

OH YEAH and the OG draft I wrote for Blue? I'm going to spin it back to its OG OG roots [parkner, naturally--Return of The childhood friends to estranged almost lovers to super-powered rivals to reluctant allies to friends to lovers finally wip!!! AKA: We Were Gods (we were kids)] and that will fix all the things that went wrong and I didn't like 😌 so it's basically like double Christmas I think

[gukieater]

Saudade || Chapter 1: Seoul Rain

Summary: A man of plan. Jungkook didn't live a life he didn't design. But when fate decides to take control will he take it back or he will lose his way, like he did when he was 15?

Or

Mafia AU where OC helps her coworker runaway from her mafia fiance and get caught on the process by his men. But when Jungkook finally sees you, anger is not what he feels.

⚜️ Pairing: Mafia Jungkook x Reader

⚜️ Rating: M

⚜️Genre: Mafia, angst, Lil fluff later on, slow-burn, childhood friends to lovers, slow burn.

⚠️ Warnings: Swearing, name-calling, violence, physical abuse, domestic violence, illegal drug dealing, childhood trauma, attempted sexual abuse (I'll ad them as I write, feel free to remind me if I forget something as well)

First thing first, as originally planned, this is not going to be a one shot. I'm sorry (am I?)

And since it's not a oneshot, I am really really not sure when the next part is gonna drop. Again, I'm sorry.

One of the reasons this not being a oneshot is the character development of both Jungkook, mostly the OC. Since it's going to be officially my full blown fic, I really want to play around with her character and I may have quite a few idea. So again I apologize for the delay.

Another thing is that I really don't proofread what I write so it's pretty much the first draft I wrote. So for obvious reasons there will be tons of tons mistakes. So basically how it goes is when I get the chance to re-read the entire thing, I correct the mistake as I go. And English is my second language so if you are looking for finesse, I must warn you, you will be disappointed 😞.

🔹🔷 Series Master list 🔷🔹

10:30 am, Trimage, Seongdong-gu, Seoul.

Funny how change of perspective changes the reality of things. He always felt like his apartment building wasted a lot of space for open parking now staring at it from the 38th floor of his apartment building, the space looks impossibly small. Insignificant even. Like his childhood.

Jungkook is staring at his image on the window. He can count the changes in his body that took place through out the years. He can't see the scrawny, malnourished 14 years old boy reflect back at him anymore. Instead he is looking at someone well-built, not buff yet farm, well postured man staring back at him.

A man.

He's not surprised with his transition, far from it. He worked for them, to the point that he's almost proud. He calculated every single change that took place in his life, measured and laid out by him, with precision, patience, and control- impeccable control.

His thoughts are interrupted by a phone call. Looking at the window now, it's starting to fogg up, a tale tale sign of untimely Seoul rain, he can't see his shadow anymore. He reluctantly takes the call, almost dreading it. Although he has been anticipating this call the entire morning, something tells him he's not gonna like what he'll hear and how things roll from there.

"Minho"

"We found her"

"Tae-hee? She is in Korea!?"

"No, but we got a lead. Found the whore who caused this whole riot in the first place. Tae-hee doesn't have the gall to . . . "

"I know what she is capable of and what not, I didn't ask for her resume Minho. Now would you get to the fucking point, what do we know. You are wasting time?" Jungkook cuts him off annoyingly.

"We've been trying to coax stuff out off her since last night, the bitch here won't budge"

"Hold on..." Jungkook can feel the headache forming already. "Are you trying to tell me we had a lead since last night and I am being informed now? In the dead-fucking morning? When I clearly remember giving clear instructions to notify me the instance we have some sort of lead on her whereabouts?"

Minho noticably gulp over the phone, " Bos-ss . . .we were just trying to give you something solid before we pass on the information of having a lead. Thought. . .'

"It would impress me? Well you thought wrong because I can think of at least 10 reasons why I should put a bullet between your eyes. Not working so well for charming the big boss, is it Minho?"

" I-I . . . We'll get you s-something valuable . . ."

"Oh I know you will! If you want live pass to see the next day that is. I'm coming to the camp myself, ping the location to my driver. And Minho?"

"Yes, boss"

"It's Miss Song to you, you disrespectful bastard." Jungkook all but lowly hisses over the phone, calm and collected. But Minho on the other side, nearly soils his pressed slacks, that's the affect he has over the man that works for him. If given the option, they'll probably slit their own throat than facing a pissed of Jungkook and bear the consequences. He's a rational man but he could be very devil when he wants to be.

It has started to rain meanwhile. The rain was a much needed relief to the summer heat in Seoul. Still, Jungkook doesn't like the rain. It reminds him of the uncertainty, things or situations he cannot control. And he absolutely hates it.

Jungkook is also a prideful man, rising from the streets to become the king of underworld and he doesn't like when other people meddle in his business. He hustled the life of a ring fighter, it was his own kind of school for all the illegal business he runs. He learned how to stay invisible even he's standing in front of his opponent. How to make himself small enough to the point they dismiss him till he can take a leap and devour them.

From his fighting days if one thing that he has hold on to till this day is his disciplines. He has a certain rhythm set for things and he prefers to stay attune to them, he likes his control like that. So whenever someone or something tends to disturb it, he's rather ruthless taking care of it. Bloods are shed. Again, he's not unnecessarily violent. Even his violence are measured, calculated. He thinks it gives out the message more effectively.

He's now on his way to meet the intruder that recently caused the disharmony in his otherwise disciplined life. He doesn't even know the name of the person yet. You see Jungkook lays his plans out where he can see them clear as a vision, like scenes unfolding in opera. He designs the prologue himself. Knows how the next scene unfolds, where to draw the climax in and when to drop the curtains. So when did Song Ta-hee become part of that vision? When Jungkook drew and laid out the outline for his next victory.

Jungkook met Tae-hee at a strip club named Tokyo, formerly owned by the Ha-Jongs, given out to Bangtan as a token of appreciation later, more like a courting gift to show that they are willingly to give out part of their territory because they want somewhat of a more permanent alliance.

Song Tae-hee was one of many illegitimate offsprings of the Lord, Ha-Jongs gnarly and ruthless leader Yi Kang-Hwan. Now Ha-Jongs were very proud of their roots, traditional even. Although Tae-hee and her mother never got the legal recognition nor legitimacy through marriage, because it was against their tradition to take more than one wife legally. Kang-hwan still wanted to acknowledge them by making them take the family name. It wasn't an option for discussion, it was a decision. And Yis' don't take so kindly to rejections. It goes beyond saying what it would implicate if one of them to actually reject that decision, it's an direct insult to the Yis' and by default, to the Ha-jongs.

So Tae-hee being the perfect bull-headed daughter of Kang-hwan did the first only thing she could to piss her father off. She declined to take up the family name and ran off to Seoul to become a stripper. As ruthless as the Ha-Jongs were, they weren't uncouth. They were very traditional the way they carried their family, legitimate or not. Everyone associated with the YI's are to abide by their family tradition where woman stays within certain boundaries.

So when Kang-hwan decided to break her mother's heart, she decided to strike back the way she knee, she could.

Jungkook needed to have access to Samcheok port to smuggle his supplies in uninterrupted without constantly thinking of anomalies. The only alternative to that was the northern part of the regime but that's under military supervision.

It's more hustle than he would like handle, not to mention taxing to his resources. Samcheok port falls heavily under the area controlled by the Ha-Jongs, they were the farm believers of, if you control the sea, you control the country. So there's no way to bypass them without brewing unnecessary wars. So Jungkook got creative and decided to write his own verse to the family drama.

And the curtain rises.

"You look seemingly lost with a touch of pissed, Miss" Jungkook lazily drawls, inspecting his surroundings. The club could use a makeover and set of new sound system. His head is pounding. This gets her attention.

"And you look like you got no business being here. What, your stripper dumped your goody two shoes ass for someone more loaded?" Hye-Jin doesn't back down when it comes to snide remarks. Jungkook smiles at that.

"How did you guess? Don't you look like the sympathetic one? What got you in this part of the town? Daddy issues?"

That wipes all the smugness off Hye-Jin's face. Now all she feels is anger brewing in the pit of her stomach.

"Are you one of his dogs? Did my pathetic excuse of a father send you sniffing around me? Well you can go ahead tell him he can't do shit in this side of the town and he can fuck himself. Bangtan pulls all the shit here now."

"Now that's no way to talk about your own father, is it Princess?" she scoffs at the nickname.

"You don't know shit about him so if you wanna go lick his boots, go kill some mutts for him or fondle one of his whores so she can put on some good words for you." At this point Jungkook has seemingly grown bored of the conversation. Same old, same old. She's wasting time.

"Look,I get the anger, really. Mine was a bastard too. So what if I tell you I have a plan that will do a lot more than pissing of "Pathetic excuse of a father" of yours and doesn't involve getting strangers tongue getting shoved down your throat and flashing your assets to sweaty, deprived old man every night."

Hye-Jin contemplates the offer for a second before dismissing him, "As much charming as you are, I don't trust you. For all I know, you could be a trap and I don't plan to get fucked both ways soon. So unless you want a lap dance, I suggest you haul ass. Therapy's over, you are wasting business hours."

Jungkook looks down and chuckles at this," You know, for a girl who looks this elegant, you sure have a foul mouth. When I first heard you were in ballet and this close to become a Prima Ballerina, I thought there must be a strong reason as to why you decided to throw that away and chose to live the life that you are living. Now that I've met you I know why." Hye-Jin's mouth hangs open at that. Who exactly was he? Even her father didn't know that.

"And what is that? Not that I care about your opinion." She tries to wash down her nervousness with feint arrogance.

"Because you are outright stupid, Hye-Jin, is why. Anyway, now that you have wasted my time, I will see myself out. If that dead brain of yours miraculously starts working and you change your mind, give me a call. As you said, we are losing business hours." Jungkook carelessly threw his business card on the bar and walked away. Hye-Jin looks perplexed for a minute and contemplates her options. The pay was generous and she didn't have todo anything that was forced but this isn't remotely the life she wanted for herself. "Fuck it!" She groans and picks up the card and her eyes shot open. "Jeon Jungkook . . ." The new owner off Tokyo, the one who took over this club shortly after she become a stripper here. Intrigued is a understatement, she needs to know what is going on.

So when Jungkook's phone went of that night and he saw her number, he already knew he won. From there, the announcement, the engagement went pretty fast. What Hye-Jin was getting out of this? The satisfaction to watch the Ha-Jongs and her father come crumbling down as Jungkook laid out his plan to dismantle them from the inside out. What irked her though the plan required her to play the good daughter and a perfect fiance to Jeon Jungkook.

The later part was a lot bearable though. Jungkook was not ill-spoken like her father, in fact they barely talked. But he made sure she was well taken care off, respected and safe. She didn't mind the occasional intimacy as well in fact it was better than what she had in the past. He was a gentle lover, complied with her needs and at the same time could be rough when she wanted him to. He let her take the charge of her pleasure and he took care of her after they were done. Cleaning her, tucking her under the sheets, making sure she gets a warm bath drawn the next day and the breakfast delivered to her bed. She rarely met someone who cared about such small details without being explicit about it. And that led her to make her first mistake.

She became emotionally drawn to Jungkook. She started to crave more. But when she started to understand this strictly business for Jungkook and this is as far as she gets, it broke her.

She retorted her old ways to get the attention she craved from him. So when she declared she is going to work as a barista to the cafe she was recently frequenting just to spite him and he just nodded, not paying her attention she decided to deliver her final blow.

"I want to call off the engagement"

At this, Jungkook throws her a brief, almost a bored look. He dives back to his paperwork, "Back being a brat, aren't we?" Jungkook chuckles, sipping his coffee, "It's amusing how you think it's up to you to decide what you can bring to this arrangement we have and what not"

He puts down his mug and throws her one final look, "So, no Princess, you are not calling off the engagement. Your car will be ready in 15 min to take you to the cafe. Wouldn't wanna be late in your first day of work, would we?" At this Jungkook walks out of the study the close the door behind him.

Hye-Jin doesn't know what made the first drop of tear rolled down her cheeks, was it the frustration of being denied what she longed for or the anger towards the man she held some sort of adoration who didn't even take a minute to reduce her down to nothing. No, she didn't love Jungkook, but she could, she wanted to. Now she can't seem to even breathe around him.

Hye-Jin slowly came to terms with her situation, accepting it even. She would daily remind herself why was she here. There was no point in hiding, running, this was her life now. That Jungkook won once again, how his plans were flawless. Everything was on track, just how he painted.

Funny how sometimes a small shift can throw a wrench to a perfectly engineered plan and everything comes toppling down due to that one measley change. Jeon Jungkook's designed his plan to be precise, flawless and infallible but he did not plan for one thing.

You.

Next

Tag list:

@mwitsmejk @scuzmunkie @drunkzseok

@joonwater can't tag you bub :(

[authoralexharvey]

INTERVIEW WITH A WRITEBLR — @e-klair

Who You Are:

E.K. || They/them

I'm from Germany and I study English and French translation - I plan on being able to make a living of translating books one day. I've been writing since I was 10 years old, and even though I love all other kinds of creative work too (I sometimes draw and am the singer of a rock band) it's the one thing in life I just NEED in order to be happy.

What You Write:

What genres do you write in? What age ranges do you write for?

Adventure, comedy, fanfic, fantasy, mystery, paranormal, romance, and sci-fi. Young and new adult.

What genre would you write in for the rest of your life, if you could? What about that genre appeals to you?

Fantasy! Exploring new worlds and concepts, and at the same time being able to transfer the lessons learned there to real life is just… Idk, it really makes me emotional :')

What genre/s will you not write unless you HAVE to? What about that genre turns you off?

Crime fiction. It's just a really specific genre following really specific rules, and I don't think I'd be able to follow all of them and have fun at the same time.

Who is your target audience? Do you think anyone outside of that would get anything out of your works?

Honestly, at the moment it's just me, and sometimes my friends. I feel like my stories are very close to my experiences in life, so I wouldn't expect anyone to get or like them.

What kind of themes do you tend to focus on? What kinds of tropes? What about them appeals to you?

One specific thing I always come back to is a conflict between two groups that need to overcome their prejudice. In one of my stories it's a straight up war, in the other one it's a family feud. In general, acceptance of the other (in whichever form) is a really strong theme in all of my works.

What themes or tropes can you not stand? What about them turn you off?

Are toxic relationships a trope? I don't think they're a healthy thing to romantisize, especially in YA fiction. They can be written well if not romantisized, though, and that's cool!

What are you currently working on? How long have you been working on it?

I'm currently working on a fantasy duology called "Dawn". I've been working on it for 10 years now, but with a major break in between taking 8 years (!).

Why do you write? What keeps you writing?

Mostly a mix of A) internal and external struggles and the need to put them on paper in as many metaphors as possible B) the sheer joy of having written something that wasn't there before. Creating something out of thin air is just wild!!

How long have you been writing? What do you think first drew you to it?

14 years now. I first started writing down my dreams as a kid, and over time those dreams developed into really long stories until I one day decided to finally write a "proper book".

Where do you get your inspiration from? Is that how you got your inspiration for your current project? If not, where did the inspiration come from?

Music! Everything I write is in some way inspired by the music I listen to, especially my current project - some characters or scenes only developed the way they did because of a certain song or album. (It also goes both ways cause my stories sometimes find their way into my own songs, help)

What work of yours are you most proud of? Why?

My current project, Dawn! It's just amazing to be able to return to writing something I loved so much as a teenager, and on top of that add everything I learned about writing in the meantime. I never would have thought that I could find so much potential in something I wrote when I was 13 and use it to make something even better.

Have you published anything? Do you want to?

Not yet. I would love to publish a book one day, but I don't want to rush it.

What part of the publishing process most appeals to you? What part least appeals to you?

The best thing is to just be able to have a copy of it on your shelf and give it to your friends. I think I would be a bit scared of offering it to a publisher and having other people make decisions about it that differ greatly from my own ideas.

What part of the writing process most appeals to you? What part is least appealing?

HAVING WRITTEN and being happy about it is so good! Not having written? Or worse: Having written and being unhappy about it? Hell.

Do you have a writing process? Do you have an ideal setup? Do you write in pure chaos? Talk about your process a bit.

I usually do some soft plotting beforehand, but once I dive into writing I tend to follow my instincts. I work with Scrivener, which really helps me to keep an eye on the bigger picture. Otherwise I would easily lose track of where I'm headed or where I left off. I am also very motivated by word counts - keeping a goal is essential if I want to finish a project. Also: I really love writing on the train. It's amazing.

Your Thoughts on Writeblr:

How long have you been a writeblr? What inspired you to join the community?

All of my active years combined: About 2. I think the writerblr community is a very positive, interesting one and I just love keeping in touch with other people and their amazing ideas. Every one has their own style and flavour, it's like a candystore full of stories and nice people.

Shout out some of your favorite writeblrs. How did you find them and what made you want to follow them?

@concerningwolves is an amazing author and their work is full of rich worldbuilding and fascinating characters. When Dealing With Wolves is definitely worth a read. @siarven is not only an amazingly nice and energetic person but also a fantastic artist! I love their drawings so much.

What is your favorite part about writeblr?

The positivity! There's also a lot of information available with so many people sharing their experiences. It's great.

What do you think writeblr could improve on? How do you think we can go about doing so?

Ummm. I actually don't know. It's sometimes hard getting in touch with people or finding blogs to follow. It's also really hard to talk about and share work that's written in another language than English, but that's how it is on most platforms.

How do you contribute to the writeblr community? Do you think you could be doing more?

Insert "idk i just got here" meme :D Honestly, I think a lot has changed since I first joined in 2018. I'm just trying to get back into the groove and then we'll see.

What kinds of posts do you most like to interact with?

Same answer as above. :)

What kind of posts do you most like to make?

God I love tag games. They're so much fun!

Finally, anywhere else online we may be able to find you?

On instagram

Questions For Fun:

If your main character(s) was a flower, which flower would they be? Why?

Funnily, the full name of the MC of Dawn is Khorin'do, which means 'glowing leaf'. Glowing leaf is a tree of which the leaves turn almost see-through before autumn, which makes them look a bit like bug wings. Hence, this tree is not only how Khorin got her name, but in fact all of her kind - they are fairy-like creatures called Khorwes. So as you can imagine, her name is pretty much as common there as Steve or Mary are here.

If your writing were a color, what color would it be and why?

A friend of mine once described my writing as rainbow-coloured because it can get very intense, chaotic, and naive. Honestly, I think that's pretty accurate.

Is there a song that has had the most impact on your work? An album? A music artist? Why do you think they had such an influence on you?

For Dawn specifically, there have been many, many musical influences. In its early stages (around 2012), the themes of war and injustice were inspired by bands like Rise Against or Thirty Seconds to Mars (especially their album This is War, which umm… turns out to glorify war a lot? This is actually the opposite of what I wanted). Nowadays I tend to draw inspiration from instrumental vibes more than the lyrics. If it sounds epic, melancholic and slightly futuristic, it works. This is the case with Arcane Roots' album Melancholia Hymns. It helped me come up with a lot of internal conflicts for the characters and even inspired the new main antagonist as a whole. I think music has a big influence on me because it stimulates the visual part of my brain that loves daydreaming and indulging in fantastic scenarios, which is mostly what writing really is for me.

[royalwilmon]

Hey hey, do you wanna answer 7, 13, 14, 37 for the writer's asks? :)

hey!!!!!! yes!!!!!!!!

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

one thing about me is i haaaaate writing prose. i hate it!!!!! the way i would be such a more prolific writer if i could just write little chit chats and nothing else!!! BUT. necessary evil.

its a bit too long a passage to paste here, but there is a three paragraph section of chapter 2 of take any heart – take mine that i Love. i wrote it in an airport during a layover on my way to LA, haha. it's comparing GIANT ships being able to somehow float in the ocean to how wille feels being around simon. wille is carrying so much weight and trauma from his past but with simon he was still feeling like he was being lifted up, even though he was sure he'd sink. it makes more sense in context but. idk, i thought it sounded very pretty

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

me??????? listen to writing advice????????? i dont know about that. haha, honestly i think a lot of people say to Just Write. words on paper, just do it. i spend a lot of time "writing" just staring at the page overthinking sentence structure that doesn't Really matter when i could be actively writing. it's something im still working on and still struggle with but its definitely good advice. just DO IT

OH and just knowing its okay to ask for help if you need it. i need help a LOT. its good to know there are always people more than willing to be a sounding board for tough ideas. or, like. people who can write orgasms for you when you dont wanna do it ;)))) (im talking about lili, lili writes orgasms for me when i dont wanna do it)

14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

i dont know if anything is really the "worst" writing advice because i think different things work for different people!!! i know what works for me and i know what doesn't. like, anything that involves writing something start to finish and Then going back to edit? i could never. i dont know, though!! i appreciate all advice, even if i don't really listen to it ever haha

37. Talk about your current wips.

oh my god THANKFULLY its really only tomt now. which!!!!!! i'm so so so so so excited for and will gladly talk about all the time always. i've been having so many really excellent conversations with kate and lili about some of the stuff i've got coming up, and good GOD i'm sometimes just really struck with how what's published of this fic is really just the tip of the iceberg. really just SO much is involved in this story, i'm just getting started.

to talk about chapter five a littleeeeee bit... i am very excited for 'tip of my tongue' to finally officially meet sage. i've never reallllly had an OC before this fic (and now i have like, four, which is wild) so developing them has been a massive learning curve but i'm very happy with their arc and, y'know, what their presence in the story means for wille's arc. there is so much THERE to sink my teeth into, just. a storyteller's dream, i think.

(please ask more questions!!!! <333333)

[rise-my-angel]

Heart of the Great Wolf got me SOBBING bro, your writing is immaculate 🫡🙏🏼

PRAISE MAKES ME ANXIOUS

Do you like read more cus I put a read more on this one cus as per usual my response turned into this:

I am deadass so nervous because I am like 15 chapters written in advance right now, so everyone's being so kind about chapters I wrote like over a month ago and now I'm so nervously rereading my new ones worried they'll be disappointing.

What was essentially the Robb era of hotgw has come to an end, and we're about to enter the Jon era and a lot of my favourite parts of this series are in these next unreleased chapters. A lot of set up in the first 15 chapters has been building up to so much of what's going to start playing out and I can't help but feel nervous everytime yall are so nice. Because now I'm entering that prime era of:

"Remember when Game of Thrones was really good then it started going downhill and everyone ended up hating it?"

Now I'm looking at what is much more going to be more original not show/book dependent content and I'm like: WHAT IF THEY HATE IT WHAT IF IM JUST AS A DISASTER AS SEASON FUCKING 7.

Also I mean kudos to yall still sticking with it because this fucking series is so long. I just finished chapter 30 on Monday and I still am on what would be the plot equivalent of early season 7. I still haven't actually gotten to fucking winter yet. (Which to be fair plays out a lot different then the show so it's not going to be even comparable)

And the Jon era of the series starts having more flashbacks and other povs (granted typically those chapters are longer to make up for it), and a lot of scenes are what I call classic season 1-4 GoT scenes which are mostly just quiet dialouge that doesnt necessarily move the plot forward but are necessary for character development, world building, and narrative themes and foreshadowing.

That and I'm in the era of "Jon was fucking abysmally mistreated and miserable in the show by this point" so my Jon frame of reference is so skewed by bad characterization I'm worried he comes off as out of character. Whereas other characters I'm immensely proud of my work such as my character work for Theon Greyjoy, Selyse Baratheon, and Olly specifically. I really love the work I put into what I think was really bad late show (season 5 fof Selyse, season 6 for Olly, and season 6 - 8 for Theon) and yet I'm also finding writing Jon to come so naturally to me yet I'm worried I somehow will do worse then..

Also I start really cementing certain positions I hold now, especially in regards to hot topics such as my opinions about Jon being a rape victim of Ygritte, my opinions on the subject of dragons and Targaryean restoration, stuff about Robert's Rebellion I've purposely ignored, and I start including a very specific book plot ignored by the show and can only hope show only or show preferring fans will not get taken out of it for those plots being used instead of certain show ones.

I'm just really passionate about asoiaf and early Game of Thrones I always have been and finding the motivation to write 30 chapters of like an average of 11k each for a fic is insane to me and its baffling anyone still reads it let alone likes it.

But it's my favorite series I've ever done, I think about it pretty much non stop, all day everyday. If I'm not writing I am actively outlining and brainstorming and rewatching and re reading the show and books to make sure I have a grasp in this world and its characters in a fair manner. asoiaf/GoT was one of the biggest influences on my musing influences and direction as a fiction writer. It has always been more special to me then I've talked about (mostly because during its prime peak I was in high school and college and was not terribly active in fandom due to work load) and then when I got back into it it was after the final season and all anyone wanted to talk about was how bad it got. I look at the final 3 and a half (I think season 5 is mostly bad but Castle Black is a great storyline right up until the comedy that is dumb and dumber just ending the Baratheon storyline for good cus it was between writing Euron "Bick Cock" Finger in the Bum, or writing a real storyline for one of your moat interesting morally grey characters that was post blackwater Stannis) but I like figuring out why it's bad and where it could have taken those ideas to make them work and a lot of that meta became aspects of hotgw, and its essentially an extension of what I love about this series regardless of the bad.

This went on for a long time for no reason, JUST LIKE MY HOTGW CHAPTER LENGTHS-

[lucigoose]

road trip [laura kearny x gn! reader]

a/n: @tywrites THIS ONE IS FOR YOU !! also holy BALLS i wrote this in like 3 hours ??!!??? god behavior!! im very....... not proud of this piece though i guess that's the karma? like its okay but normally im much more descriptive. maybe it's because it's my first time really posting my writing ANYWHERE but i swear im better at description and plot developing than this. i am just nervous cause i never post on tumblr as a writer am i welcomed with open arms to this community??? hopefully i am cause id die if i wasn't allowed to write...... i hope i do better next time cus this was not my best. also can someone tell me how in the balls to do the read more thing?? ANYWAY REQUESTS WILL OPEN SOON

the ride to hackett’s quarry summer camp was long. incredibly long. the trio had been in the car for what felt like an eternity, mindlessly chatting about topics that were generally exclusive to the kind of boredom someone would feel on the road trip to a summer camp. nothing too special, only small things that would help them feel a bit less bored by the service-less ride. perhaps the lack of service or entertainment would train them for the summer camp experience that was globally known as some ‘relaxing’ two-month break from social media and technology. a cure for addicts, some might say.

  laura was in the front seat, staring out at the empty, dark stretch of road that looked like it hadn’t changed in miles. max was the one behind the wheel, driving only according to the phone’s map that shouted an occasional ‘turn left’ or ‘turn right’. [name], meanwhile, was laying sprawled out in the backseat. a pillow was behind their head and their legs were curled up, nearly falling off the side of the carseat. they were almost asleep, eyes heavy and slowly closing to pull them out of consciousness and into la-la land.

when their eyes finally shut, just as they were about to let their fingers slip away from consciousness, their eyes shot open from laura’s sudden voice and the nice, calming music cutting off. “max, how much longer until we get there?” she asked, fully awake unlike the other two in the car. max briefly glanced at her, then put his eyes back on the road. “laura, we’ve gone the whole trip without any, ‘are we there yet?’s and i’d prefer we don't break the record.” he joked. laura rolled her eyes. “max, we were supposed to be there by now. are you positive we’re not l-” she was cut short, instantly scoffing when max’s voice cut through her own. “don’t! say it. laura, we’re fine. we can’t be that far from it, besides, we’re in northkill, right?” he said, giving laura a comforting smile. laura only gave him a suspicious look before sighing and staring out of her window. 

the road was really the only thing she had to look at besides thin, creepy looking trees. the road didn’t even really have the yellow lines in the center, and it barely had enough room for two cars to even be going the opposite ways. it gave off the vibes of some dumb horror movie. hell, their scenario at the moment was certainly similar to one of those cheesy slasher movies where the main character doesn’t have enough sense to call 911. 

laura was snapped out of her thoughts when [name] made a small grunt from the backseat from stretching. she turned her head more towards them. “you doing okay back there?” she asked innocently, with much less of an attitude than she was giving max. [name] hummed a bit as they finished stretching, then responded to laura’s question. “i’m okay. you guys woke me up, i think.” they said with their words slurring and stringing together with exhaustion. laura narrowed her eyebrows apologetically. “oh, were you trying to sleep? my bad.” she said, roughly nudging max in the side. max whined quietly, then said a dazed little apology. “huh? oh, yeah, sorry.”   

[name] smiled and shook their head in response. “don’t be. if max needs to admit we’re l-word right now, then he should.” they said smugly, drawing a laugh out of laura. “right? at least someone here agrees with me.” she responded before shifting her annoyed gaze over to max. max rolled his eyes solemnly before speaking with a glance over to [name] and laura. “you know, if columbus hadn’t gotten himself lost and landed on these golden shores, there’d be no united states of america. bye-bye hotdogs, see you later apple pie.” max explained in some pathetic attempt to redeem his stubbornness. laura raised an eyebrow. “yeah, well, columbus also had no idea he wasn’t in asia. he was just another guy who didn’t wanna admit he was lost.” she teased. [name] piped up from the backseat. “fuck columbus, with all due respect.” they said, clearly not really meaning the ‘respect’ they’d included with their statement. laura nodded. “someone said it.” 

the car was back in silence for a few minutes, leaving the trio to their own thoughts again. [name] wasn’t exactly awake, but definitely wasn’t as dizzy and dazed as they were a few minutes ago. they’d adjusted their position so their legs were a bit more comfortable, and so that their pillow wasn’t practically falling off of the seat. without laura or max arguing back and forth, they let their thoughts wander free. their first thought was to imagine what it was really going to be like at hackett’s quarry. curling up in front of fires singing kumbaya, telling ghost stories and eating smores. something like that, right? but with more kids involved. that was the only real part [name] wasn’t exactly stoked about. the kids. but hey, laura and max were doing it, so why wouldn’t they do it, right?.. right. maybe they were just in it for the money. 

laura yawned and stretched out her arms, before turning her head to look at [name]’s much more comfortable position. “you’re lucky you have a pillow. and the whole backseat to yourself. i’d give my left leg to curl up in the backseat with a pillow.” she said, and [name] gave her a tired smile. “give me your left leg, then.” they said jokingly, and laura let out a scoff and a chuckle at the same time. “are you saying i should join you back there?” she asked rhetorically, but [name] answered. “yeah, you should.” they jested, and laura smiled at them. “i should.” she almost sounded.. serious. it was hard to tell though, because laura’s jokes were typically sort of unreadable. she reached down to the side of the seat and pulled up on the small lever, causing the seat to recline backwards a little. [name] looked up towards laura, only to see her hand reaching out towards them in some sort of an offering. [name] raised an eyebrow. “..you’re not getting m’ pillow.” they said assumingly, and laura shook her head. “no, hold my hand, dumbass.” she teased but so.. demandingly. [name] laughed airily before stretching their arm out to interlace their fingers with laura’s. 

her hand was warm. and very soft. even if the position was awkward, with laura's arm stretched back in an odd sort of way to go behind the seat, and [name] having their arm stretched out a bit too far to reach laura's hand, the warmth of her touch made up for the discomfort. she exhaled slowly and lovingly ran her thumb back and fourth against the back of [name]'s hand, making a comforting pattern of little shapes and circles. she laid her head back against the seat, shutting her eyes temporarily. [name] spoke in a tired sounding voice. "your hand is really warm." they noted, and laura smiled. "yours is really cold." she said matter-of-factly.

the position was bliss. laura wanted to fall asleep like this, to sleep with her fingers interlocked with [name]'s, but the cramp gradually growing in both of their arms stated otherwise. laura was stubborn, though. she held [name]'s hand a bit tighter, taking a deep breath in and out. [name] could've stayed like this forever, just like laura wanted to, but they weren't entirely keen on their arm cramping up. as much as they wanted to bask in laura's comforting touch, with the way she rubbed her thumb lovingly over [name]'s hand, their arm wasn't up to date with the plan. slowly, as to not startle or upset laura, they pulled their hand away and rested their cramped arm by their side, staring up at laura's blonde hair that was highlighted by the moon.

laura hummed. "why'd you pull away?" she asked, rolling her head over a bit and straining her eyes to try and look at [name] as best she could. "my arm was cramping. wasn't yours?" they questioned, and laura nodded. "well, yeah, but i didn't mind." she flashed a smile towards them, before closing her eyes once more to try and get a bit of sleep. her hand felt so empty without [name] holding it, though. sure, she could hold one of max's while he drove with the other, but that was dangerous. and [name] was so much warmer, and sleepier. they could sleep together. but not with one in the front seat and one in the backseat.

laura sat up a bit, using her elbow to prop herself up. "max," she spoke suddenly. "can you pull over for a second?" laura requested, making max glance at her with a confused expression. "..why? is something wrong?" he asked, hesitating. laura shook her head. "no. i just wanna do something. it'll only take, like, a couple seconds. then we can get back on the road." she explained, and max thought about it for a second. [name] sat up. "laura, are you doing what i think you're doing?" they questioned suspiciously, and laura shrugged. "i might be." she said vaguely. [name] laughed. "laura it's not gonna-"

but in no time, max had already pulled the car over.

"just hurry up, laura." he pushed. "it could be dangerous." laura was already undoing her seat belt, and unlocking her car door. "i know." she said dismissively before getting up and out of the car. laura shut the door to the car and stretched out her legs, groaning a bit as she did so. she took a few steps towards the backseat, but she could've... sworn she saw something. she turned to look at the darkness within the trees, her eyes scanning over each space with curiosity and suspicion. her eyes flashed over a flutter of movement that seemed to disappear in an instant. what was that? it was too fast to have been a bear, which was common in these parts. but it seemed too tall to really be something like a fox. her thoughts were interrupted by loud, sharp sounding knocking against the window behind her. she jumped a little and turned around to see [name] getting her attention and motioning for her to open the door. when she opened it, she was greeted by [name]'s pleasant voice. "what were you looking at? everything alright?" they asked, and laura glanced behind her before nodding. "just.. thought i saw something move. anyway, scoot over." she demanded, and [name] obliged although retorted a bit. "laura, this is never gonna work." they insisted, but laura got in the backseat regardless.

laura sat down and slammed the car door, not really bothering for a seat belt. [name] clutched their pillow and blanket, letting laura move around a bit. "so can i just.. not lay down anymore? is that privilege taken from me?" they asked, and laura laughed a little. "just wait a second." she reassured, moving her body around to be a bit more comfortable. she was sort of diagonal, sitting in a comfortable position but still sitting up. without any explanation, she pat her lap. [name] stared at her blankly for a moment. laura explained. "ill be your pillow. lay in my lap." [name] smiled warmly at her explanation. "really?" they said, almost annoyed but not necessarily denying the idea. they sort of threw their pillow at laura, before laying their head down so that laura's thigh pressed against the back of their neck and the little dip between her thighs served as a comfortable pillow for [name]. laura smiled down at them and stuffed the pillow behind her while [name] got more comfortable. max turned back to look at them with a sweet smile. "we ready to roll, campers?" he asked dorkily, and laura nodded with a laugh. "yeah." she said simply, and max grinned before getting the car back onto the road.

laura cupped [name's] face with her hand, gentle and loving and so very careful. she absent-mindedly played with [name]'s gorgeous hair, twirling it around in little spirals as they shut their eyes. the light in the back of the car finally shut back off again, making the two relatively unable to see eachother. but they didn't need to see eachother. for laura, feeling [name]'s heartbeat calm and slow beneath her and having her hand near them was enough. [name] reached one of their hands up in an offering position, the same one laura had used on them minutes before. laura intertwined her free hand with theirs, the position being so much more comfortable than it was before. no more arm cramps for them.

[name] shut their eyes comepletely. "night, laura." they mumbled softly, and laura's eyelids drooped a bit deeper before she mumbled back. "goodnight, [name]. sleep well."

maybe this road trip wasn't all that bad. maybe being lost wouldn't be so horrible. maybe the kids wouldn't be godawful. maybe, just maybe, hackett's quarry would be pretty enjoyable for these two months.

maybe. just maybe.

[mintywolf]

AO3 Tag Game Thing

Tagged by @astoriacolumnstaircase. Thank you!

How many fandoms have you written for?

Ever? I mean my first ever was a Sound of Music sequel that I wrote in kindergarten. But if you mean like posted online, five. Chronologically: Phantom of the Opera, BloodRayne, Final Fantasy X, Fire Emblem Fates, and Critical Role. On AO3 right now though I only have FE and CR because some of those were before I came to AO3 and I also have a(n admittedly bad) habit of destroying old or unfinished works that I don’t think I’m going to come back to. :\ (RIP The Heretic’s Daughter, you just never found your audience.)

What’s your favorite fic on your Ao3?

The one I’m most excited about is A Long Road Home, although it’s a comic that I’m crossposting to there from tumblr. Definitely the one that’s taking the highest level of dedication and the one with upcoming plot developments that I’m most eager to get to!! I’ve been really happy about how kindly it’s been received by the fandom and how many people seem to be enjoying it. I am too.

Although I’ve kind of moved on from the fandom I’m still pretty proud of Nohrian Lullaby, because it’s a complete novel (with illustrations!). While it stands on its own it was however the first part of a planned trilogy but now that I’ve gotten into Critical Role I think I’d have a hard time going back to it, haha. It was Fire Emblem’s voice cast that led me to CR but now that I’ve gotten to know them all I feel like I’d have a hard time approaching e.g. King Garon and Queen Mikoto with the solemnity they have in the game knowing now what Travis and Marisha are like at the table. XD

Have you posted elsewhere? If yes, which of those fics is your favorite?  

I’m most proud of Guardian (another comic) because that was a huge undertaking and in order to do it I had to forcibly overcome the SEVERE executive dysfunction that had been hindering me for my entire life. (Absolutely trashed my school performance and for some reason none of the adults around me seemed to think that this might be a symptom of a larger problem? I was just repeatedly told “But you’re smart! You just need to work harder!” and could not figure out why I just couldn’t.) But when I started working on that and was kind of floundering at the beginning having a hard time keeping up with it, I told myself that if I wanted to see it exist in the world, then I had to be the one to create it, and basically brute-forced myself out of a lifetime habit of destructive procrastination. I taught myself to break a huge task (200+ page comic) into smaller tasks (one page at a time) and set a schedule to make that workable (day one sketch, day two lineart, and so on). And now I sincerely don’t allow myself to procrastinate anymore. If I’m given a task to do I know to get it done ASAP before it starts to seem unconquerably huge and that is honestly as much as an accomplishment as the comic itself. It’s still a struggle but it has improved the quality of my life by a lot. (Still have not received diagnosis or treatment for whatever is causing the executive dysfunction! But at least I’ve managed to wrestle that beast to the ground and am continuing to hold it there.)

How many bookmarks do you have on AO3?

I only recently figured out what they are for, haha, so 6.

How many unread comments do you have?

None! See the above procrastination thing. I have already replied to them all. :)

Any subscriptions?

About as many as the bookmarks. Currently I’m most looking forward to updates from Consequences of a Bleeding Heart and The Madness from the Salt. :D

Any favorite tags?  

Laudna & Imogen Temult, Laudna/Imogen Temult, and within those I tend to comb through for AUs with an interesting premise. (Judging by my bookmarks my definition of “interesting” seems to trend towards “vampires” haha.)

I don’t know if she’s still active on tumblr but I’m gonna tag @auronlu bc she has had a very respectable fic writing career! (Feel free to ignore this, however.)

[roseblushwrites]

ao3 wrapped [writer edition]

I know it's supposed to be an ask meme but I am not going to sit here and wait to be asked when I feel like just answering all of them right now! It has been like two decades since I last got to do a MySpace bulletin survey and frankly I miss infodumping about myself!!!

How many words have you written this year? 125,547. Which, quite honestly, does not seem like it could possibly be true.

How many works did you publish this year? 17

What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? Probably Lovers in a Fable and Engraved Upon My Heart, they're my two longest one-shots and I managed to get some actual plot in with the smut for once.

What work of yours has the most hits? Lover, Be Good to Me

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? Known in the Ache. It was the first fic I'd posted in 13 years and I was not expecting a single person to notice or care.

Favorite title you used? The Force of Forbidden Love by Jusjuli Doutgods makes me laugh every time I see it still.

If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most? Hozier.

Pairing you wrote the most for this year? Cal/Merrin

Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? This is mean. I'm going to say Cal/Merrin though because they have more content to be inspired by than Jyn/Cassian, and they didn't require me to do the work of making up an OC, like Gale/Tav. So they were just easier to write about.

What work was the quickest to write? I honestly don't remember! I feel like for the most part my one-shots take an average of the same amount of time to write.

What work took you the longest to write? Known in the Ache. I wrote all of it before I started posting, over about five months. The first draft was only from Jyn's POV and was about half as long as the final version - I rewrote almost every part of it for the second draft and added in all the Cassian POV sections at that point.

How many WIPs do you have in your docs for next year? Seven, lol. Though most likely at least one of those will get written and posted before this year is over.

What’s your longest work of the year? Known in the Ache, 41,632 words

What’s your shortest work of the year? Watch Me Unfold, 1,963 words

What WIP are you taking into next year with you? For sure Hope to the Edge, my Merrical cowboy AU... but I also accidentally wrote an outline for a smutty one-shot in the urban fantasy Merrical AU setting I thought would never exist anywhere other than my own brain, so also that one.

What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag? Aside from the obvious ones like "established relationship" and "shameless smut" and tags for various sexual acts that are basically on all of them, the answer to this is probably "consensual voyeurism"

Your favorite character to write this year? I have to say Cal. I have not loved a character the way I love him in yearrrrrssssss. He is just so earnest and I love his journey. And I just think he and Merrin deserve to fuck nasty 🤷‍♀️

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year? Gale Dekarios. Good lord. I love this sweet man but his vocabulary and speech patterns can be so hard to get right. I think (hope?) I've mostly gotten the hang of it now, but every fic I still have to basically write the version a normal person would say in the initial draft and then "Gale-ify" it on the edit.

What’s one pairing you want to explore next year? Um... recent developments have me thinking a lot about a Karlach/Wyll/Dammon OT3. I've never written anything like that so it would be a challenge, but I am thinking about it 👀 kind of a lot 👀👀👀

Which work of yours have you reread the most? I actually have no idea. I usually reread everything I post several times in the first day it's up (and spot all the tiny edits I missed or new things I want to change 🙄) but after that I kind of... never look at it again lol.

How many kudos in total did you get this year? 2,433 😭♥️

Which work has the most comments? Known in the Ache, because it's the oldest and longest

Did you do any collaborative works this year? No 😞 maybe next year!

Did you write any gifts this year? Yes I wrote Lovers in a Fable for Sarah aka dangerwillrobinson aka @icapturedthecastle because it was her birthday and I wanted to do something nice for her 🥰 my love language is dedicating smut to my friends

Did you receive any gifts this year? Sarah dedicated free to a good home to me on my birthday because she's the best. clone club 4 lyfe

What’s your most common category? F/M

What do you listen to while writing? Most of the time it's Goodnight Moon ASMR videos because they're always so cozy and comforting but aren't the kind of ASMR that make me sleepy, but also aren't really distracting (which music tends to get for me).

Favorite work you wrote this year? My favorite is usually whichever one I just finished, so Engraved Upon My Heart at the moment.

Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? I'm going to be annoying and do lines from each character in my pairings. Favorite Cal line: “I know that first one was for you,” Cal panted into her mouth. “But this one’s gonna be for me, okay?” (Bedroom Hymns) Favorite Merrin line: “You bumbled too much for it to be lurking.” (The Force of Forbidden Love by Jusjuli Doutgods) Favorite Cassian line: “It’s okay,” he said. “I’ll keep you warm.”(Known in the Ache ch. 10) Favorite Jyn line: “Can I at least get a knife or something?” (Known in the Ache ch. 9) Favorite Gale line: “Oh, but maybe we’ve already arrived at that point.” (Lover, Be Good to Me) Favorite Tav line: "You might be made of magic, but magic is not made of you." (Engraved Upon My Heart)

Biggest surprise while writing this year? Honestly, that I could still do it 🙏

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: INFJ, 27. Hi. I am a translator and I’m tired of the work I do. Admittedly, the fact that I work for an agency whose values and principles are not perfectly aligned with mine and occasionally has me do work that I’m not proud of might have contributed to this frustration. But I had the chance to do a traineeship abroad for a couple of months, and my feelings didn’t change. I also met many exceptional people from various backgrounds, with greater skills and experience than I, which brought into question what I thought were my unique assets and talents.

More background info: I majored in translation after dropping out of an economics course, which I absolutely hated at the time, convinced it was the right choice. I don’t want to go back to economics, but I also feel regretful of the choice I made. I didn’t know enough to have a realistic picture of the field.

I feel like my hands are tied now, because there are not many other job prospects or career ventures I can undertake with this specific major. This may be a cumulative issue of: facing my own limitations/hitting some kind of plateau, not feeling like a good professional and as if my best is not and will never be enough, the low pay, the fact that this is a job that involves a high degree of uncertainty all the time, coupled with tight deadlines, and I don’t feel able to cope with all of it.

I do cope with it, but it’s chipping away at something inside. I have had problems with passion and motivation and have felt very lost, particularly when it comes to career and what I can contribute in general. I’m considering whether I should try studying something else again, or specialise in a specific area, or somehow venture into a different field. The prospect of starting over does scare me a little, since I’m not in my early 20s anymore.

I understand any job has their own uncertainties, but maybe not to the same extent. I have realized I don’t know myself well at all, so I’ve considered doing aptitude tests even – I think I’ve completely lost touch with what I can offer to the world. I was hoping you could give me some perspective and clarity, maybe some key points to reflect on for a future decision and help me see if there’s any unrealistic beliefs I’m holding onto. Thank you.

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Questions for reflection:

1) What does it mean to "start over"? Are you saying that in the years you've been working, you have not learned anything which could be utilized in another job/career? I suppose if you're nothing but an empty shell of a person faking your way through life, then it would be reasonable to fear starting over, because you'd finally have to face down your own vacuousness. If that's not the case, then your thinking is extreme and won't lead you to make rational evaluations. Perhaps what you need is a career counselor to guide you. They could help you organize your thoughts and weigh your options. They could take you through aptitude assessments to pinpoint your assets and identify potential for development. They could help you conceptualize your soft skills and transferable skills and how they may be applied to future endeavors.

2) What do you believe you should be? Are you saying that you're worthless unless you can be "the best", live up to some "perfect ideal", or achieve "greatness" in whatever form you imagine? Do you define people as "good"/"worthy" only through how skilled, competent, or successful they are in their career? Do you believe that the main source of meaning in life is derived through paid work? Whatever standards you use to evaluate your worth, ensure that you have chosen them wisely, otherwise, you'll keep suffering self-esteem problems (unhealthy Fe).

3) What do you imagine your life should look like? Are you saying that there's only one right way to live life and you're doomed as soon as you've deviated from that path? If this is what you believe, then you've trapped yourself within your own naive and rigid thinking. Life is full of uncertainty and ambiguity. You could choose the negative interpretation and descend into fear or pessimism. Or you could choose the positive interpretation and embrace the freedom to explore new possibilities. Your perception of yourself and your life is fully within your control. Until you realize this, you'll keep trapping yourself in limiting ideas and false beliefs (unhealthy Ni).