#finding people like you who can truly understand and love you for who you are

[anyydidi]

WRITING THIS POST BECAUSE I'M SO SICK OF PEOPLE MISCHARACTERIZING FORD!!!!!!!!!

Before we begin, everyone is entitled to their opinion. If you really think Ford wouldn't truly care, you do you.

That being said, I feel like people who claim that Ford wouldn't do a single thing to bring Stan back if their places were switched do not understand his character at all.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think that he would open the portal. At least not right away. The one thing I agree with is that Ford wouldn't put the life of his brother above the whole planet like Stan did. He realizes the threat of the portal and Bill too much to do that.

But have people forgotten that Ford also loves his brother? Yeah, he was angry, bitter and resentful, but he wouldn't have just let Stan die in the multiverse. Especially since that would be entirely his fault he got stuck there in the first place.

For people thinking, "But Ford was too blinded by rage! He didn't care for Stan until after Weirdmaggedon!", have you seen the show? Have you read the journal? Through everything that happened, Ford kept a photo (tattered and worn, obviously taken out a lot) of him and his brother in his left, inner breast pocket which is the one closest to the heart. If that wasn't enough, for those who haven't read the journal, Ford kept reminiscing about and mentioning his brother before the portal incident. Even though those lines were often crossed out, it was obvious that at least unconsiously he had Stan in mind a lot. And at the end of the journal, it is written that he worked day and night, to the point of passing out, to bring Stan's memories (and essencially Stan himself) back. (Oh and have we forgotten about the absolutely shattered expression he had when he erased Stan's memories? You don't look like that for a person you don't deeply care about).

Still not enough to believe that Ford cared about Stan before Stan's sacrifice?

Let's talk about the fact that when Ford was at his lowest, that being paranoid, sleep deprived, tortured by Bill, drowned in guilt, and completely alone, he reached out to Stan? He says it himself, "I needed help, someone I could trust." After everything, he still trusted Stan to an extent and believed him to be his last hope. You don't give trust like that to people you truly hate.

Ford was self-absorbed and egocentric, but also hurt and betrayed. That feeling came from a misconception, but that doesn't make it any less valid. It is understandable that he acted towards Stan the way he did, with venom and bitterness. But we can be angry at people we love and still care for their well-being.

How I said earlier, I don't think Ford would really open the portal. He wouldn't risk the entire world for Stanley. But I do think he would do anything in his power to be able to bring Stan back safely. You cannot be telling me that he'd be able to live with the guilt and not do anything about it if he could. After all, in his head, it would be his fault. He got tricked by Bill, he built the portal, he made Stan come to him and showed him the portal and he wasn't able to let go of the journal and fought Stan for it. I'm convinced he'd still throw some blame at Stan for some of the fight to make himself feel better at first, but after some time he would just blame himself completely (the same way I think Stan did with the science fair incident). The guilt for all of that would eat him alive.

Let's not forget, Stanley worked for 30 years, basically half his life to bring Stanford home and I believe Ford would be willing to do the same. He would just go about it differently. He would either try to get rid of the threat of Bill and then be willing to upgrade the portal and turn it on again, or maybe try to find a completely different way to get Stan back from the multiverse, or in the end something entirely different, I'm not fully sure.

What I am sure of is that Ford wouldn't just let Stan be stranded in the multiverse without doing absolutely nothing. Maybe he wouldn't succeed, maybe Stan would actually have to find his own way back home because Stanford wouldn't be able to find a solution without risking their entire universe. But Ford would at least try, give it his all, because despite everything, he still loves his brother. Differently than Stan loves him, because Ford is a different person than Stan, but he still does.

So I beg you, people. Stop taking Ford's complex character from him. He can be a selfish, self-centered asshole, but he's not heartless.

[dootznbootz]

As someone who is also really uncomfortable with the Zeus/Odysseus art trend, I completely understand where your coming from!

People’s treatment of Odysseus’s assaults in general makes me really upset. Just the other day I saw a comment on a post saying that “Odysseus wasn’t loyal to his wife yet expects her to be loyal to him” and not once in the replies did I see someone mention that he was literally assaulted. It’s absolutely gross and makes me hesitant to go deeper into the fandom.

I remember being so frustrated when the snippets of “There are Other Ways” came out because so many people were making Hamilton jokes and talking about how he always talks about his wife yet cheated. When in the song it was so clear he was being coerced which is yknow, not a form of consent. I couldn’t even listen to it because it made me so uncomfortable, and even now with the full version out the fandoms reaction to it overall have soured me to it. Which sucks, because I do think it’s a great song.

Also I don’t even think Epic completely erases Calypso’s assault? At least, I think it’s left ambiguous enough during the time jump that people can come to their own conclusions. Specifically when Calypso says “Soon into bed we’ll climb and spend our time” just really gives me the impression that something else happened.

I suppose in the snippets we’ve seen of “I’m Not Sorry For Loving You” it seems like Odysseus and Calypso are on slightly friendlier terms, but I don’t think that negates the fact she could’ve assaulted him. And I’ve always took that song as pretty manipulative on Calypso’s side, with Odysseus more so trying to placate her. But that’s going into theory territory.

And even if he isn’t SA’d in Epic it’s pretty clear he doesn’t want to be there!! Same with Homer’s Odyssey. It’s so infuriating to see the cheating narrative be so widely spread when that is just not what happened.

Anyway’s sorry for the long rant, but I wanted to say that it’s nice to see you take Odysseus’s SA seriously. It’s not something the fandom does enough.

It's okay for the long rant. Sorry I took a bit to get to it but I wanted some "soft chatters" for a bit before I tackled this one :)

"Just the other day I saw a comment on a post saying that “Odysseus wasn’t loyal to his wife yet expects her to be loyal to him” and not once in the replies did I see someone mention that he was literally assaulted. It’s absolutely gross and makes me hesitant to go deeper into the fandom."

I completely understand you with this stuff. ;~; I used to go through Odyssey tags often as I LOVE possibly finding new people to follow and fun things but too many times I would see shit that pissed me off. ;~; I've honestly kind of just stuck to my mutuals that I trust tbh. And honestly, there's soooo much shit of people just straight up not understanding the context/culture/meaning/etc. of the Epics and just taking it at face value and not understanding the meanings. :/ I'm no expert, but I also have analyzed and researched quite a bit on my own to try and get the full picture. I think in order to truly enjoy the Odyssey, you need to just... really soak shit in, you know?

When Calypso, that lovely goddess,  tried                           to keep me with her in her hollow cave, longing for me to become her husband,                                  or when, in the same way, the cunning witch Aeaean Circe held me in her home filled with a keen desire I’d marry her, they never won the heart here in my chest.

(Book 9, Johnston)

Odysseus tells this to the Phaecians. They are strangers that he will likely never see again and who are isolationists. Therefore his story that he told probably won't be "spread" to others so he can probably say whatever. So he doesn't have to worry about "Penelope hearing a different story than the one he told to her" if people wanna argue about how "Oh well, he didn't tell Penelope about the 'affairs'"(He tells her everything as well btw.)

He could literally say "Oh yeah, I had the time of my life!" but he doesn't because that's not true. Odysseus has no listed concubines, I just literally don't see him as the type of guy who's really into that.

And while yes, he would be devastated if she didn't "stay loyal", he does sound like he'd be understanding. He asks his mother in the Underworld if Penelope had gotten remarried to "the finest of Achaeans". And we all know of Odysseus' words of "when Telemachus has a beard, feel free to remarry". Even when first "rejected" by Penelope in that she didn't hug him when he sat across from her, he was incredibly hurt but asked for a separate bed. He literally could have had it where Penelope takes a different bed and he takes their luxurious/fancy one because he has the rest of the household on his side.

But he DOESN'T!

Because he adores her for fuck's sake!

Funny enough? I have the weird reaction of like, weirdly searching out "Good" animatics as it was a weird reassurance of "yes, people see that it's wrong." as while holy fuck. so many stupid, awful jokes about "Say No to This" in the comments (I have learned to just stay the fuck away from youtube comments on Odysseus shit. :') ) but like, seeing and HEARING how yes, this was fucked, was weirdly really nice for me. yeah, it took a lot of digging but there's a few "There Are Other Ways" that I love. Literally, both are unfinished wips and they're still my favorites. If you can, please give these two a watch and some love for the creator.

This was back before we heard the full song and it's still very good. How he's on guard until she "magics" him and the colors change. After that he kind of moves like a "puppet" but he's still resisting as best he can.

This one is literally still sketches but it's my absolute favorite. Oh my word. The body language, PENELOPE FLASHBACKS!!! Showing cute bits of Penelope's character and how awful this is for him. (Penelope is so cute. She puffs up her cheeks to make him laugh!) How he really is scared that he'll have to go through with this in order to save his friends until all his past trauma floods back and he just can't. It's lovely.

And yeah Idk how to feel about "I'm Not Sorry For Loving You" :/ I don't know how it'll be yet, maybe there's something in another song that shows Odysseus' real feelings or whatever.

And with just the whole cheating thing, yeah, it's really upsetting to call what is blatant assault "cheating". As wild as it sounds, Odysseus' story has been more relatable for me than any other stories like this, even modern ones. I've spoken a bit about it before but yeh, victim blaming at its finest. I find him and his story and his love for Penelope slkdfj very relatable. It's honestly really nice to write about in a sense..

(I'm pasting this from an old post of mine but yeh)

I have never had a story that felt like how it actually FEELS. The "aftermath" and "regaining life". It's hopeful and feels really good. It's been years since "everything" but it just felt nice to see "Everybody has the chance to get better." Even Nestor, Helen, and Menelaus, while still dealing with their traumas, are doing a lot better now. And after literal hell, Odysseus got to be with his family and loved ones again. He can start living again. It's why I'm just...idk passionate about this? I'm not a murderer or a war veteran but I see myself in him. Hopefully, y'all see me as nicer though!😂(plus, let's be honest, the Odyssey is romantic af and OdyPen is right up my alley as well >:D )

I really hate the whole "he's a guy so therefore ____" whether it's used as a "Boys will be boys. they can't help themselves" usually aimed at female victims or a "Men always want sex. they cannot be victims.". It's fucked up and used against ALL of us. :( Doesn't matter if it was history. People, no matter the era, should never be put through "Are you Victim™ enough?". He is one.

Idk the Odyssey means a lot to me. I hope it's okay I take some liberties with my fanfics as it's nice healing through him :D I AM kind of using my own experiences and ideas and it feels nice. I don't think Homer necessarily meant for this but eh, anything that helps is good :D He's a war criminal that I relate to.

[anangelinthepit]

Without You…

Warning ⚠️ - abuse. Please don't read if these topics make you uncomfortable.

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Part 5

Y/N’s POV

The car ride was silent the rest of the way after that horrific interaction. Little did I know that was only a glimpse of the punishment that was waiting for me at home. When we pulled up to the house, there was a new security gate installed along with some very high-tech cameras. One thing about Noah is if he didn’t have to spend money on it he wouldn’t, and the fact that I cost him a pretty penny just puts me in a deeper hole. I looked over and saw Noah staring directly at me. He must have been keeping his eye on me the entire time and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say he didn’t even blink.

I grabbed my purse and got out of the limo with Noah right behind me grabbing my arm.

“Wherever I go, you go. If I can’t be there, Nick or Davis will be. Understand?”

Squeezing my arm to make sure I heard him loud and clear, I shook my head in agreement and tried to wipe my tears away. I couldn’t stop them, it was like a waterfall of pure misery and despair falling from my eyes. He yanked me into the house abd forced me to go up the stairs to our bedroom, as I looked behind me I could see Nick staring at us and Davis trying to get him to unclench his first. I mouthed “It’s okay” in hopes it would bring some comfort. We got to our room and Noah aggressively shoved me in as if he just caught a firefly in a jar. As I stumbled over my feet I heard the door close and lock behind him.

“Noah I understand you are mad at me, but you need to stop grabbing me the way you d-“

Before I knew it, a sharp sting was kissing my cheek causing me to fall back on the bed.

“You listen to me and you listen good. I make the fucking rules around here, you just obey. Understand!”

I looked up at him and held my cheek, if I wasn’t in such a fragile state I would have fought back. Instead, I quietly agreed. I sat there on the bed with even more tears welding up in my eyes. So much for “I’ll never hurt you”

Noah went over and pulled his pack of cigarettes out. He was gonna light one in front of me until the realization hit him.

Letting out a sigh of exhaustion and running his fingers through his hair, he tossed his lighter on the dresser and looked at me

“I’m sorry.” He said looking down

Hm. Like I haven’t heard that one before.

“I know”

“No, I am sorry Ruby. I shouldn’t have done that. I can’t take it back now but I truly am sorry.”

“I understand”

I know this is all bullshit but I don’t want to poke the bear any more than I already have.

“You need to realize that this isn’t a game Ruby, I know you’re more than aware of where our money comes from and what I do for work. I also know that you indeed stand how dangerous my line of work is. Right?”

“Yes”

“Yes? Okay so then you should know that there are people out there who want to hurt you. Pregnant or not they will do what they want. Those men could have done the absolute worse to you Ruby, and wouldn’t have lost sleep over it.”

“Why is that Noah?”

“Why is what?”

“Why do these men want to hurt me and not you?

“Because…”

The hesitation in his tone and voice even confused me. What is it? Why wouldn’t they just hurt Noah directly?

“Noah?”

“Because they know you’re the only good thing left in me in this fucked up world I created.”

There it is. Big scary mafia man does have a heart. Instead of finding the cigarette, Noah grabbed his victory whiskey and took a huge gulp from the bottle. It’s almost like what he’s about to tell me next is gonna end his macho lifestyle.

“You were right Ruby, I knew what I was doing. All those times I cheated, all those times I came home and was cold to you. Baby, I fucked my world and took you down with me. I know you can’t forgive me, but all I’m asking is for you to stay with me and try. Fuck we aren’t perfect babe, but the love we got can withstand anything.”

I looked up at him and was met with sad heartfelt eyes. Why does he have to be so sweet to me now after all the damage he’s done? After all the damage I’ve done. I can never forgive myself and if he found out, well he would forgive me by putting flowers over my grave. We both have messed up in the past, but the decision I made is gonna haunt me forever.

I held my face in my hands, wishing all of this was a dream. Who do I love? Who do I belong to? Are they both just as equally toxic? Where do I go from here? God please help me, my mind is racing, and I feel like I’m gonna pass out.

I felt a warm loving touch on my stomach and Noah's fingertips gently caressing my chin to face him.

“Ruby, I love you so much fucking much. You are the mother of my child and my entire world. We can make this right again. Just please, please don’t ever leave me. Okay? I will make it so you and Theo don’t ever have to worry about being hurt. I swear to you on our marriage. Let me be the man you deserve. Let me be your protector Y/N”

My heart is fucking breaking and my head is spinning like a carousel. The words “my protector” made me break out in a cold sweat all over my body. I've heard them before.

“Y/N I can be your protector.”

But it wasn’t Noah who said it to me, it was Nick. On the lonely night where I confided in him after Noah up and left to go sleep with his whores. My bed and heart were so lonely and Nick filled that void. What have I done?

I could feel myself floating, almost like I was levitating onto a cloud. Something was wrong but I couldn’t speak.

“Ruby?”

The room is getting darker and my thoughts are becoming could

“Baby? What’s wrong.”

“Noah.. help me.”

The last thing I could hear was Noah screaming for Davis and Nick to call an ambulance and my entire world went dark.

My dream was peaceful yet quick. I was floating in the water but could breathe. When I looked up I could see the chaos happening above me but was unbothered because the water was keeping me safe. The ocean kept me safe. What was my dream telling me? Should I unfold the chaos that awaits me or stay safe in the cool dark ocean?

Grogginess lingered in my mind as I began to open my eyes. The smell of strong disinfectant and crisp air filled my nose. Where am I?

“Y/N”

“Am I in Heaven?”

“Angel.”

No, Heaven is not an option for me anymore.

I fully came to and was met with a worried Nick sitting at my bedside.

“Nick? What happened?”

I tried to get up but my head felt like it was full of cement.

“Easy Angel, you passed out. The doctor said it was some type of dizzy spell. He also said your sugar was extremely low. Have you not been eating?” Nick said gently pushing me back down

I looked around and gave Nick a puzzling stare.

“No, I have, it’s just I’ve been under a lot of pressure lately.”

I was going to relax until I realized something. I don’t remember if I fell on my back or my stomach. Sheer panic came over me and I almost threw myself out of the bed to make sure I wasn’t bleeding.

“Oh god! Theo! My baby !”

“Angel relax, please. He’s okay.”

“No what if something happened? How will I know? Nick my baby!”

Nick grabbed my face and tried to get me to steady my breathing. I’ve seen so many horror stories where women suffer a loss even though they can still see and hear the heartbeat.

“Y/N the baby is okay.”

My breathing started to slow down until Nick reminded me of the decision I would have to live with for the rest of my life.

“Our baby is okay.”

I pushed him off of me and tried to erase that beautiful haunting memory.

“Nick. Don’t.” I said raising my hand at him

“Angel I can’t keep pretending, he treats you like absolute garbage and even went as far as flipping a table at you. How long are you going to make me sit by and watch while he abuses you?”

“Nick this was your fucking idea. You’re the one who told me we didn’t need to tell him and that you’ll let him raise the baby as his own. We are two adults who made a decision that is going to bind us for the rest of our lives. If we tell Noah that Theo isn’t his, we aren’t going to see the rest of our lives. Got it?”

“Angel please, I fucking love you. Do you have any idea how hard this is for me? I was doing this for you so he wouldn't hurt you but he still is. Baby we can run away from all of this. I'm one of his trackers so I'll make sure to go where he can't find us.”

“Nick, get away from me,” I said scooching up in my bed.

I pushed him away once again, what the hell is this man thinking? I'm about to be 7 months pregnant, and I already tried the runaway stunt. Look where it fucking got me. It's like he hasn’t been paying attention. I began to feel aggravated that he would even suggest something so dangerous.

“Nick you have to let the both of us go. If you care about my and your baby’s well-being like you say you do, then you'll be the good little henchmen my husband hired and keep your mouth shut. We have to pretend and I'm sorry it has to end like this. I belong to Noah and now so does this baby. This was your fucking idea, so please try to remember that.”

Nick got up and faced away from me. I know my words hurt him but I have to be this way. It’s for the best for all 3 of us.

“As you wish Mrs. Davis.”

“Good, go get my husband and get the fuck out of my sight.”

The tears fell with each word that came out of my mouth. Our eyes met one last time exchanging the words “I love you” Maybe in a perfect world we could be together and have our baby. Relive those beautiful nights where we could lay under the sheets being tangled up in each other embrace. Talking about our future and if fate would allow us to create one together I would give everything to have that but this isn't my world….

Its Noah’s

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This storybisnstartin gro become my guilty pleasure. Short chapter but enjoy 🩵

Taglist

@reyadawn @bloodylullaby @fadingintothegrey @catsomens @ashdreamsalone @supersquirrel1996 @thisbicc @iluvmewwwww75 @dreamstyles @lma1986 @montgomery-929496 @amelia-acero @aubrey-melinoe

[plantwriting]

Sometimes you just gotta come up with the weirdest fucking AUs for your own mental health so here it fucking goes:

Galloway with some kind of link to the feyrealm. Galloway where children go missing and get replaced by creatures that look like people but aren’t. Galloway where the swamps surrounding the town are filled with gnomes and trolls, witches and fairies, magical creatures that are as terrifying as they are interesting.

Galloway, where the child of the Deep’s was stolen as a baby and replaced with a copy. Rolan, who was never normal, who didn’t fit in, who couldn’t make friends. Rolan, whose parents punished him whenever he acted too weird, who refused to believe their son wasn’t really theirs, who tried to teach the forest and deals and mischievous spirit out of their child through any means necessary. Rolan, who never understood why he couldn’t just be normal.

Donna Rand, who watched the small child in the crib she’d put him in last evening, and knew it wasn’t her own child. Donna, who picked up the small boy into her arms anyway, fed and clothed him, loved him no matter where he came from. ‘Timothy’ who grew up and knew that wasn’t really who he was. ‘Tim’ who spent his days gardening and exploring the woods, knowing he’d be safe there. Rand, who knew his father hated him for not being the original, for not being human, but who learnt to live with it. Rand, who just hoped Timothy was loved as well, where ever he was.

Kian, who didn’t grow up in Galloway. A nameless child that was taken and replaced, and whose parents never even noticed the difference. A child that was weird and uncanny, with a singsongy voice and who seemed to dance with each step he took. A child who spent more time with wildlife than people because animals and flowers didn’t find him unnatural. A child who craved a family and a world he couldnt remember, always so alone, who eventually chose a name for himself because maybe that would make him into a person finally.

Three changeling children, who eventually met each other. Rolan, who met two boys so unapologetically everything his parents hated, who didn’t shy away from the swamps surrounding their homes, who pranked their neighbors for fun, who let him finally be himself. He wasnt a human, and with them he didnt need to pretend.

Rand, who met two boys that never looked at him and wished he was someone else. Who had nothing to compare him to, who would never see him as ‘Tim’. They’d only see him as Rand, as one of them, as someone to be loved because of, not despite.

Kian, who found two boys that treated him like a person. Who listened to his music without discomfort or hatred, who were like him but were still loved anyways, who let him finally be someone. Kian, who finally saw that he could be loved and wanted despite everything that he was.

Three changeling children, who had each other. Until the swamps took a second child from the Rands. Until Rolan found the original child he’d been replaced with. Until Kian had the people he loved destroyed by people like him. Until suddenly, one early summer day, they didn’t have each other anymore.

[meownotgood]

I'm going back to bed the moment I post this but I've been having a super rough and stressful night... so for whatever reason I went back to read some of the kind asks I've received since I saved a lot... some since the first time I started writing... and I got so emotional and just began sobbing haha.... I can't believe how lucky I am...... I love writing so much.........

[the-woman-upstairs]

It’s just…so painful to watch Armand readily submit in order to obtain the love he so desperately craves. And while it’s most assuredly a manipulative tactic, it’s still one borne out of fear and desperation. He cannot lose this person he’s come to love and so will become whatever they want, do whatever they want just so they’ll stay with him. But it won’t be enough. No matter how much he acquiesces or seeks to control (himself, others, the environment), he won’t be able to make Louis stay with him in the perfect life, perfect self he built in the hopes of finally being loved. It will all crumble with Armand left alone in the rubble of what he created, the author of his own abandonment.

[age-of-moonknight]

“The Moon Warrior,” Marvel 85th Anniversary Special (Vol. 1/2024), #1.

Writer and artist: Yuji Kaku; Special thanks to Ken Kunito

[the-lark-ascending69]

> be a robin buckley fan

> be lesbian

> project on robin

> look up "internalized homophobia robin buckley" on tumblr because it's cathartic

> 3/4 of the posts are about st3ddie or just about steve

[buckboi]

.

[hella1975]

sometimes i think about the fact my grandparents literally overnight just cut us off and im like. how did u even do that. does it torment you

[milo-is-rambling]

Me looking at my own mood boards like “oh yeah this guy gets it”

[hikeyzz]

i'm not even gonna lie getting surgery reaaalllyyy brought out the ableism of everyone around me. people really think i can just will my body to heal faster and are pretty shocked to hear i haven't just woken up completely healed yet (it hasn't even been 72hrs since my surgery...). or they get suuuperrr uncomfortable seeing/knowing i'm in pain and there is nothing that will make the pain completely go away. it makes everyone squirm that i'm being honest and keep saying i am in pain and uncomfortable. all that's really needed is an acknowledgement, you don't have to go over the top "poor baby," but you also shouldn't cringe away and just say "i hate that you're in pain." none of us LIKE seeing our loved ones struggling or in pain or ill. BUT it's a very, very normal part of life. and to say you hate that someone is in pain makes the pain about YOU and YOUR discomfort, not the person who is actually experiencing the pain. now i have to console YOU that i'm going to be okay bc you let your emotions dominate your reaction to MY experience.

[lackadaisical-lesbian]

Why does every single aita post involving a disabled person (and especially disabled children, for some ungodly reason) turn the comments into a raging cesspool of eugenics

[collectivewarmth]

one of the most important things about dissociative identity disorder and generally being a system that i wish people would understand is that it truly isn’t as cut and dry as it may seem for member count.

you’ll see people who say they have “six alters” and then immediately assume it’s six fully fleshed out equal individuals with no confusion or fuzziness regarding identity. that’s simply not true in a majority of cases, as i have seen.

most systems still VERY much deal with confusion regarding potential splits, go through dissociative episodes where they’re unsure of who they are, sometimes feel no attachment towards any identities, feel like they might have split and then suddenly that person is gone, unsure if alters they haven’t heard from often have gone dormant, not sure how to react when alters do come out of dormancy, etc.

it’s not a fun feeling and it’s genuinely unfair in certain situations to force systems to list every single alter to you with full certainty, as if it will never change. because it will. for so many different reasons, systems will grow, they will shrink, they will fuse, they will develop. you can’t expect the person with the dissociative disorder and lack of core identity to be able to keep up a perfected list of forever, it’s simply impossible. you may have alters who stick with you, but that doesn’t mean changes won’t happen.

and systems who may be reading this — please don’t feel bad. you are not a hassle, you are not a headache, and you are not an inconvenience for simply coping with something like this. it’s out of your control and the only thing you can do is continue to cope to find ways to help yourself retrain from these reactions. please don’t allow yourself to be harmed by others who don’t understand what you are going through. there are people who will accept and love you for who you are, all of you.

past, present, and future.

[maskedbyghost]

lets continue our talk about situationship!Simon, where this bitch grovels for monthssss

_______________________________________________

situationship!simon starts sending you text messages. before you could expect something like "you up?" or "come to my office.", but after you broke things off with him, simon started sending you heartfelt text messages, apologizing for his past behavior. “i’ve been thinking a lot about what happened between us,” he texted one night. “i realize now how much i hurt you, and i’m truly sorry, love. i understand if you need space, but i wanted you to know how much i regret everything.”

along with his messages, simon started sending you small but meaningful gifts. he remembered how you’d joked about his tea obsession once and that you’d mentioned you only liked chamomile. to your surprise, he found the best brand of chamomile tea and even packed it in a nice box before delivering it to your room.

he even started to open up more. during a late-night phone call, where you could clearly hear that he was drunk, simon said that he started seeing a therapist. “i’m workin on understandin my issues and changin for the better. i want to be better, not just for you love, but for myself. i hope you can see that i’m tryin to change.”

when you asked him to stop calling you love, he refused. “i can’t help it. you’re mine in a way no one else could be, and i don’t want to pretend otherwise.”

as simon keeps showing up with gifts and heartfelt messages, you can’t help but wonder if he’s being real or if he’s just trying to win you back before breaking your heart again.

you still go on dates with other people, and simon is tormented every time he sees you leaving the base in those pretty dresses—dresses he wishes were just for him. he follows you, quietly lurking in the corners of the restaurants or bars where you’re out with your dates. oddly enough, most of the guys you go out with either get transferred to another base or stop calling you after just one date, and you’re doing your best not to blame simon for it. but you know it's him. and he is not sorry at all.

almost every day, simon texts you, asking you out on dates and planning special things for the who of you. all you have to do is say yes, but each time, you refuse. it breaks his heart every time, but it also makes him more determined to try even harder. he knows he deserves this treatment from you.

back when you and simon used to train together on base, it was a special routine you both enjoyed. now, you’ve started asking other guys to help you with exercises, and it drives him wild with jealousy. watching their hands on you makes him see red. after your training sessions with them, simon invites these guys to spar with him. it quickly becomes clear that he’s using these sparring matches as a chance to take out his frustration and anger, landing a few extra hits just to make his point.

despite everything, you still won’t budge, and it’s only making simon more frustrated. the truth is, it’s becoming harder and harder for you to resist him. his persistence is wearing you down, and the more he pushes, the more you find yourself struggling to stay strong.

simon invites you to one of his therapy sessions, saying his therapist thinks it would be helpful for him and his progress. during the session, he opens up about his struggles and insecurities, laying everything bare. as he talks, you start to feel sympathy for him. it’s clear he’s determined to change and work on himself, and you see how genuine his efforts are.

one night, you were preparing tea in the kitchen when a girl you know from the base asked for simon’s number. she mentioned she was interested in him, which made you jealous. you snapped at her, making it clear that he would never be interested in a girl like her. simon overheard the whole thing and couldn’t help but smirk to himself. it was clear you still had feelings for him, and he took a bit of satisfaction in that.

later that night he sent one simple message to you: "that's my girl. i belong to you, and you only."

after that message, simon stepped up his game. he started sending you lots of sweet texts and little gifts, and even took care of some of your paperwork. it was hard to ignore how much he was trying, and you found it tougher to resist him as he kept showing you how much he cared.

a few months after managing to ignore simon as best as you could, you caught a nasty cold and were stuck in your room. you only texted price to let him know you needed a few days off because you were sick, and got back in your bed trying to sleep that cold off. a few hours later, as you were still trying to fall asleep, you heard your door open. simon walked in, carrying a bunch of bags, a worried look on his face.

“i came as soon as I could,” simon said, worry in his voice. “i brought you soup and medicine.”

simon didn’t leave your side for days. he only went back to his room to grab more clothes and shower. he was insistent on helping you with everything, even assisting you with your showers in the most respectful way possible of course. he’d sit in a chair next to your bed, and you felt a pang of guilt seeing how much he was giving up for you. you even tried to convince him to go get some rest, but despite your protests, he somehow ended up in your bed, gently spooning you as you slept.

simon would whisper sweet things in your hair, thinking you were asleep. you heard every word as he softly talked about how much he missed you, how sorry he was for everything, and how he wanted to make things right. even though you were sick and exhausted, his words touched you deeply.

once you were feeling better, you found simon sitting alone in a common room, lost in thought. you approached him quietly and gently kissed the side of his face. with a soft smile, you whispered, “take me on that date you promised.”

_______________________________________________

@daydreamerwoah

[novy2sirius]

THE MARS DEGREES

based on numerology

tw: sexualization, emotional/physical abuse, substance abuse/addiction, criminals, death ♥︎

the whole chart matters. take this with a grain of salt ♥︎

this is based on the numerical meanings (numerology) of these numbers not degree theory ♥︎

do not read if you aren’t 18+ ♥︎

♂ MARS AT 1°/10°/19°/28° · having these mars degrees indicates that you are someone who has a lot of sex appeal and people may obsess over you a lot. with this does come a lot of hate or envy from others as well. you can make lots of money from martian related topics such as modeling, athletics, sex, tattoo work, etc. people with these degrees in their mars are also extremely ambitious and never take no for an answer when they truly want something. when it comes to conflict these people don’t like passive aggressiveness they want you to be up front with them from the beginning and will also do the same. they like to resolve a conflict immediately when it first occurs or have time to themselves if they’re too angry to talk about anything. sexually the women with these degrees tend to love a dominant partner, but the men with these degrees tend to be the one’s that like to dominate in bed. they have a really high sex drive and may come off as very sexual people. when it comes to their presence these people can come off as intimidating at times and when lower vibrational they can be bullies or just very mean spirited. the one’s that are higher vibrational will not waste their energy on being mean to others or being vengeful, but instead will put their energy toward their passions in life

♂ MARS AT 2° · having this mars degree means that a lot of people will find your body to be sexually appealing. at times you may get sexualized a lot. when it comes to conflict these people are peacemakers and don’t like to stir the pot. they prefer to avoid conflict as much as possible because it makes them very anxious. when lower vibrational because of this they can be passive aggressive and bad at confronting conflict head on. when higher vibrational they will try to understand everyone’s perspective during conflict and be understanding while trying to resolve it in a healthy way. this is the most feminine mars degree you can have. usually these people have a more feminine vibe depending on the rest of their chart. a downside to this degree is that these people usually are not the best leaders

♂ MARS AT 3°/12°/21° · having these mars degrees means that you’re someone who needs a lot of communication to resolve conflict. you typically will not just naturally understand why someone is upset unless they tell you. when lower vibrational during conflict these people can be very impulsive with their words, harsh at times, and childish in conflict. when higher vibrational they tend to just be very straight forward in the way they communicate and straight to the point. these degrees in mars can also indicate that you have a sexy voice that many people find hot. you would benefit in life from speaking up for people and yourself. these people make great public speakers and activists because they usually aren’t afraid to use their voice when it comes to important matters. these are not the kind of people you want to get into a roast battle with because they will have you speechless with their comebacks. they tend to be very funny to a lot of people. these people are naturally very creative and can benefit from using their creativity toward their passions. something random i’ve noticed is low vibrational people with these degrees in their mars often get in trouble with the law/are criminals

♂ MARS AT 4°/13° · having these mars degrees means that you are someone who’s extremely hardworking. often these people are workhorses and will stop at nothing to have their desires. these people tend to have a super high sex drives and aren’t afraid to put in the work during sex to please their partner. people with these degrees in their mars typically have broad shoulders or a very muscular body type. when lower vibrational these degrees can be challenging because these people tend to be overly aggressive, violent, and have a lot of jealousy toward others. when higher vibrational these people are very disciplined and smart when it comes to the decisions they make in their life. these people could do really well in the criminal justice field. they would make great cops, criminal investigators, soldiers, etc. i don’t recommend that someone with one of these mars degrees goes into a career where they’re sitting around too much. they thrive more so in careers where they’re constantly being introduced to new tasks and moving a lot

♂ MARS AT 5°/14°/23° · having these mars degrees means that you’re someone that’s a bit on the wild side. you’re always down for an adventure and love to constantly be moving and traveling if you can. when unevolved these people can sometimes be players since 5 energy in numerology is very sexual and loves its freedom while Mars is about speed and moving fast. these people tend to love sex, but may struggle with confusing lust and love at times even if they don’t initially realize it. these people often have a lot of sex appeal and are very sexually attractive. they have a charm about them that others find very seductive and it makes many people desire them. these people are great entertainers and are very witty. they have a natural charisma about them that makes others addicted to them. although this can also create jealousy in others and make many people want to bring you down if you have these degrees in your mars out of hatred in themselves for not having what you have. at worst people with these degrees in their mars can be relationship/home wreckers, irresponsible, chaotic, alcoholics, or drug addicts. when it comes to conflict they don’t really like to dwell on things too much because they’re free spirits and want to just have fun. if you try telling them what to do or make them feel restricted in any way though they won’t want you in their life and will distance themselves from you. health wise these people tend to be very fit and have good diets

♂ MARS AT 6°/15°/24° · having these mars degrees means that you’re definitely really good in bed. these people like to please their partner before themselves in bed. they usually have high fertility. they also have praise kinks a lot of the time. when it comes to exercise these people can be lazy at times and bed rotters. they like staying in their comfort zone and don’t enjoy leaving it. the downside to these degrees in your mars is that it can make you on the lazier side and can make you lack ambition if you don’t have any placements to contradict this energy. often these people may not have good health because of this. they’re homebodies. they will be responsible whenever they need to though. when it comes to conflict they value their friendships and relationships a lot, so they try not to step on any toes. they’re very loving people, but when they’re mad.. they’re really mad and stubborn. it just takes a lot to get them to that point. when it comes to their family sometimes they do have family issues since mars is associated with the conflicts in our life and 6 is the number of family in numerology. they can lack intelligence if they don’t have any energies contradicting this in their chart

♂ MARS AT 7°/16°/25° · having these mars degrees means that you’re not someone who enjoys being involved in conflict and prefers to just mind your own business. when these people don’t like someone they usually won’t tell them. they’d rather avoid the drama of telling someone they wanna cut them off and just slowly walk away from a friendship/relationship. these people are often on the more introverted side and can be bad at communicating their feelings during conflict. they’re often misunderstood which makes them feel very lonely and struggle a lot with loneliness (sometimes even when they’re not alone). they could be surrounded by a group of people and still feel alone. people with these degrees are most likely to be narcissistic or psychopathic when at a very low vibration since 7 is the number of the psycho and mars represents aggressive energy. these degrees in your mars are some of the most challenging when it comes to romance/friendship as well. the positive to these mars degrees is that these people tend to be highly intelligent and very strong spiritually. they tend to have great instincts and be very intuitive. they notice a lot of things that others don’t notice

♂ MARS AT 8°/17°/26° · having these mars degrees indicates that you’re an amazing leader. you would do great in a career involving business related things or running your own business. these people seek power and can do very well in positions of power as long as they don’t take advantage of their power and use it for bad or act greedy. they often have good judgment of others and can tell the type of person someone is immediately when meeting them. they see things in people that others don’t. if they’re at a lower vibration they can be thoughtless and not think about how their actions may hurt others. at very worst they could be emotionally or physically abusive, ignorant, vengeful, obsessive, and cruel. when it comes to their career they tend to be very wealthy when they’re older, but may experience ups and downs with money in their childhood and in early adulthood. they are very hard workers when they really want something bad enough. if they don’t have a deep desire for something they will not put in any effort though. these people were actually meant to be materialistic in this life time just not to the point where it’s the only thing they value. these people do live a very karmic life which can be the challenge of having these degree in your mars. when they hurt others karma will come back to them quickly, but the vice versa also occurs if people hurt them (the people who hurt them will get bad karma quickly). sexually, these people have a lot of stamina in bed. even the men can last longer than most other men

♂ MARS AT 0°/9°/18°/27° · having these mars degrees can mean that you’re a powerful manifestor and have the ability to manifest more quickly than most others. manifestation ability is not reliant on placements, however it’s simply just that these people tend to have a better understanding earlier on of manifestation than most others which makes them usually have better manifesting skills. these people tend to have a quick death that happens suddenly since mars represents speed and 9 in numerology represents death. these people tend to be great adapters no matter what place you put them in. they are quick learners and very intelligent. when lower vibrational these people tend to have big egos and a superiority complex or need to “prove others wrong” since they have lack of respect for others opinions. they can also be violent, struggle with addiction, dramatic, liars, possessive, or be immoral when at a lower vibration. when at a higher vibration these people know how to use their emotional energy and turn it into amazing art whether that be in the form of music, acting, or literal artwork such as painting and drawing, etc. they can especially be amazing actors though since 9 is the number of illusion. they’re naturally good liars/fakers, so with that energy in mars the planet associated with intense emotions and enthusiasm they can act in a way that seems very realistic. they’re very compassionate and usually come off very charming and attractive to others. they can be good leaders or followers. in bed usually they’re switches and can enjoy being dominant or submissive depending on their mood

♂ MARS AT 11°/20°/29° · having these mars degrees can mean that you’re a very emotional person. it’s usually because of how spiritually connected these people are though and their ability to tap into others energies. sometimes unintentionally. often these people have psychic abilities and will dream about things before they occur in the physical realm. these people tend to dislike hookup culture a lot and prefer having a real and deep connection with someone before ever having sex with them. when it comes to work they do well in emotionally strenuous jobs like being an ICU nurse, 911 operator, etc. they would do well as an athlete, actor, rapper, life coach, salesman, etc though. these people have a lot of charisma and can seduce people into getting what they want. they are good manipulators, so be cautious if you do see this in someone’s chart in case they’re low vibrational. at very worst when these people are at a low vibration they could be the type to lure you in with charm and then hurt you especially if they’re emotionally unstable people. when it comes to conflict these people tend to be very empathetic toward others emotions when at a higher vibration and want the best for them, so they try to understand how the other person feels before explaining how they feel. however, when you hurt someone with one of these degrees in their mars it can be dangerous since these people have the power to make others really emotional

♂ MARS AT 22° · having this mars degree means that you’re very wise, especially when it comes to problem solving. they’re good at analyzing details that others can’t. they tend to also give very good advice to others when they need help with their problems or conflicts in life. they’re powerful people and leaders. they tend to be people that think outside of the box and the opposite of a follower. health wise these people tend to have very muscular bodies and can be very fit. these people can be great body builders if they want to be. emotionally these people can be pretty sensitive at times and if low vibrational very stubborn or ruthless. when at a higher vibration these people tend to use their energy toward things that help them become more powerful and achieve more. a downside is these people can be really stubborn when you try to give them advice. they don’t like taking it. sexually these people will feel more pleasure the more confident they feel and may enjoy more aggressive or intense sex

comment your mars degree and what posts you want me to make next. reblogs are appreciated!!