#finished typing with like a minute to spare lol

[ranger-kellyn]

it's not exactly easy to sit here and type this up after two bad mental health days, but i'm doing my yearly tradition of sitting in lilsimsie's stream until it's midnight on the east coast, and have about ~40 minutes before this edible kicks in and well. better get writing lmao

looking back in my 2022 journal, i think it's fairly safe to say that the start of the year is always rough on me, mentally. we're officially in winter, and the seasonal affective disorder is in full swing, so like. i KNOW what's wrong. it happens every year. doesn't stop the low from kicking me in the gut, though

2022 has been a rough year. my job responsibilities have been picking up, we've been traveling more, and it's only looking to increase even further as i continue. and sure, that's the typical progression of a job regardless, it still stinks at times. the only thing that makes it manageable is the fact that i genuinely do like all my coworkers. it's always a good time when we go out for dinner and drinks when we're on travel, and the holiday party i went to the other week was a blast.

but 2022 has also been a bit of a...i can't think of the word. reckoning? the realization that like. (and DONT fucking come for me i KNOW i'm still very young but hang with me here) i'm aging.

and with aging comes different health concerns and whatnot. as much as i have the bad tendency to overshare on the internet, there's plenty i haven't really talked about, and i'm at a point where i really need to like. take control. before things get worse. two (or more honestly) health problems i've had this year are directly related to me having such a sedentary lifestyle. if i don't take control and start holding myself accountable to getting up and being more active, things are going to start getting bad.

i've already been trying to get up and do more stretches throughout my day when i can. it was also part of the "deal" i made with myself for allowing me to have my tv up in my bedroom. if i wanted to keep it up here, i have to do at least a few minutes of stretches each day, and so far it's never felt like a punishment, so hopefully i'll be able to hold myself accountable.

i'm also working on eating better. my aunt got me this super fancy rice maker for christmas, and it makes really good steel cut oats as well. there's not much i can eat in the morning without getting horribly nauseous, but oats seem to be the exception so. that's been nice to have! my first baby step goal with eating is to just. eat. 3 meals a day. they don't have to be huge elaborate meals, but at least something. from there, i can start worrying a little more about content. my other first goal is to try to ease off on the soda bc i KNOW i drink way too much. the last time i was able to cut it out was when i started by just. drinking a glass of water before i allowed myself to have the soda, so that's my plan for now.

also. cut back on the weed bc like...being high practically every weekend just so i can disassociate it away. is uh. Not Healthy, but clearly i'm not starting that one tonight dskflhk

BUT. enough about the negatives--

there were positives in the year, too. i moved to a bigger apartment. i got to travel to new places. i took my bestie to my cousins wedding and had a great time. i got to spend time with my friends. i went to a pride event at the science museum, and went to the My Brother My Brother and Me live show. i was fortunate enough to get tickets to see taylor this next year, nashville and two nights in seattle!

i also got a TON of writing done. i didn't finish my goal of finishing any of the three ongoing fics, but i DID get a lot of good writing done. after a multi-year hiatus, i was able to update Getaway Car with a new chapter before Midnights was released, and with only three chapters left to go, the end is within sight.

i've also done a ton of writing on countless other stories. i'm hoping i can carry this energy into the new year, and actually finish one of my fics in 2023 lmao

i'm also really hoping i can get back into drawing.

but anyways.

here's to hoping 2023 is a good one

[jensensfanfic]

hi! if you're still taking daniel requests, could you write something where he and the reader are in their early-mid 20s and find out they're gonna be parents? maybe the reader gets the news at the doctor's office and surprises daniel when he gets home from work? wholesome domestic scenarios my beloved <3 thanks you!!!

LITTLE BEAN

pairing: daniel larusso x fem!reader

warnings: set in the present, daniel/reader are mid 20s but want kids, pregnancy, little mentions of anxiety - but it's just reader being nervous. not edited - i finished it mid work shift 😶

a/n: can we pretend he's mid 20s in that gif, please, despite the fact he doesn't age and looks so young lol. i don't write pregnancy fics often, so i it hope this is okay. i'm also worried i didn't stay true to his character... but again, i hope it's okay for you!!

—★•°°•☆°••°★•°°•☆°••°★—

The journey home from the doctor's office feels like a lifetime. Every second seems to tick by at a snails pace. The usual bus ride home only takes around 20 minutes, and today is no different. There's not much traffic, and more than half of the seats are empty, but somehow, time moves so much slower.

You pull out your phone to check for any new messages and hope to see one from Daniel, but there's nothing yet. You assume this means he's working a little later. For a moment, this bothers you... until you get an idea. You'd wanted Daniel to be at home for the surprise at first, but this way, maybe you would have time to set up something special.

You type a quick text to Daniel, asking him how long he'll be. He responds quickly, and you figure out you have just under an hour to pull together what you can.

You get off the bus one stop before home, and head into your local supermarket. At the back of the store is a bakery, where you ask for a pre-baked cake to be decorated with two simple words. The friendly woman behind the counter pipes the words in pink and blue frosting and takes only ten minutes or so to finish it. You thank her as she hands over the box with a smile on her face and congratulates you.

Next, you pick up a pack of sharpies and some balloons from the party aisle that are the same colours as the frosting on your cake. Then you head to the section you'll no doubt be frequenting over the next few months... nay, years. You try to be quick, but the shelves of cute stuffed animals leave you spoiled for choice and very indecisive. You question if you even need one, but before you can walk away, you spot the perfect option.

You pick up the soft little toy sheep, giggling, then run your fingers over the material of the gi it wears. "Perfect."

Honesty, if you'd seen the little guy before, you'd have bought it ages ago.

After paying for everything, you head for your apartment, with enough time to spare to sort everything out.

You tie some of the pink and blue balloons together and put them in the living room, next to the coffee table where you've set the cake. With the sharpies, you draw and write cute little messages on them. You lay two plates, two forks, and two napkins next to it, along with a knife. Then, you decide to put on one of your favourite outfits. One you'd usually wear on a date night, something that would definitely make Daniel curious when he came home to see it.

You take a deep breath and take out one last thing from the pocket of the coat you'd hung up by the front door. You gaze at the image in wonder while your free hand smooths over your stomach.

You move to go and find somewhere to put it, but then there's the sound of keys jingling and the opening of the front door. You move your hands behind your back and watch as Daniel enters your home, a frown already forming on his face.

"Oh. Hey, babe. Are you off somewhere?" He kicks off his shoes and shuts the door behind him, opening his arms for a hug. You wrap your arms around him, peck his lips, and then step back, careful not to drop or reveal the gift. "Is it date night? Oh, god, did I forget?"

"Uh, no. No, but I do have a surprise for you."

"Aw, thank you babe. Can I sit first?" You stop him with a hand on his chest when he looks towards the living room. He looks down at your hand and cocks his head like a curious puppy. "Uh..."

You chuckle nervously. "Ha. Sorry, but not just yet. Here. I bought you something."

Swiftly, you bring the toy from behind your bag and hold it between you, wiggling the sheep's little legs and smiling. Daniel's eyes light up at the simple, yet meaningful gift. He grins and laughs. "Oh, my God. A karate sheep? That's amazing!"

He takes if gratefully, inspecting the little patch on the gi. "Hm. Maybe Mr Miyagi can sew a mini bonsai patch for it. This flower patch is cute and all but this little guy has to be a Miyagi-Do student."

You snort and chuckle at him, thrilled that he likes his first surprise, but then your mind immediately switches to the second. The subject of your other gift is something you've both talked about for about a year now. Both of you want it, but it doesn't halt the anxiety that sits heavy in your chest. There is always the chance that Daniel may have changed his mind.

"Hey, babe?" You take a deep breath and reach up to cup his jaw, bringing his attention back to you. He sets the toy sheep on top of the shelf by the front door and brings his hands down to your waist, running circles there with his thumbs. "I have something else for you."

"Why do you seem so nervous? Whatever it is, I'll love it. You know I will."

"Come on." One final blow of air, and you take his hand, turning around and leading him to the room where the balloons and cake are waiting. "So..."

Daniel's mouth falls open. He glances between each balloon, reading the drawn-on letters that say things like, 'oh, baby', 'hey, daddy'. On some of them, you'd drawn little baby faces that look similar to the emoji.

He doesn't say a word yet, but you no longer feel that worry as he smiles, then laughs, then goes silent once more. He slowly sits down on the sofa and stares at the cake for a few moments. In blue and pink, the frosting reads, "WE'RE PREGNANT".

"Is this... are you... I mean, are you messing with me?" Daniel shoots up again, rounding the sofa to see you. "Please, this isn't a joke, is it?"

"No!" You snicker, then look up into his eyes. Your own eyes are full of promise, excitement, and... starting to water. "I wouldn't do that, I swear. Look, I have a picture."

"You have a picture already? Let me see." He makes grabby hands and you reveal your still-hidden hand from behind your back. "Oh..."

"The doctor said I'm 4 or 5 weeks." Tears start to fall from your eyes and you decide to take a seat on the sofa, your stomach filling with butterflies and your knees starting to feel weak at the way Daniel is looking at you.

"He looks like a little bean."

"'He'?" He joins you on the sofa, placing the photo down on the table. "You think it's a boy?"

"I have a feeling."

"This soon?" You laugh, dabbing at the corners of your eyes with gentle fingertips.

"Yep, but either way, I'm gonna be the best Daddy for the little bean, I promise." His eyes flicker to your stomach and he splays a hand out on your skin. "Hear that, bean? I love you so much. Your Mum, too. And I can't wait to meet you."

"Danny..." You fully burst into happy sobs and fling your arms around him. You giggle and repeatedly kiss the back of his neck. "I can't believe I thought for a second you wouldn't be happy about this."

"Of course I am, sweetheart." You feel the movement when he chuckles. "We didn't try to have a baby to... not have a baby."

"I still thought maybe–"

"Shh." He leans into the crook of you neck. "No, no, no. I'm so happy, baby. I can't wait to start this family with you." He kisses you back a couple of times before pulling away slightly. "Can we eat some cake now, it looks delicious."

You nod and he releases you, but keeps a hold of one of your hands. As he cuts a piece of cake for you, he lifts his brows and says, "You know what else? I can't wait to see our child lifting that All Valley trophy."

—★•°°•☆°••°★•°°•☆°••°★—

[thelazyhermits]

I always love the chaos that involves Jade's entertainment, especially with Yuu included. Also, will there ever be a day where Jade is flustered/embarrass by Yuu?

Same. It's always fun writing scenes where Jade has fun messing with others, especially if it entails him being extra friendly with Yuu since I love riling up the easily flustered guys lol 😂

That is a very good question. Sadly, up until this point, I haven't written flustered/embarrassed Jade cause the man is just not easy to fluster, so I can't have that kinda fun with him as easily as I do with guys like Deuce, Idia, and Sebek lol

For guys like the Tweels, I have to really work for it in order to get those kinda scenes cause they're not gonna let someone get the upperhand over them easily haha

While I haven't actually written it, I have thought of a scenario that results in Jade getting embarrassed, which takes place either before Book 3 or between Books 3 and 4. I'll put it underneath the cut.

The scenario involves the Tweels taking a page from the Hitachiin twins book and pretending to be each other one day at work in order to prank Yuu and mess with her.

Apparently, Floyd has a voice line where he perfectly impersonates Jade, so I really think those two could pretend to be each other and fool pretty much everyone sans Azul and Yuu.

Unfortunately for them, Yuu is the type who pays very close attention to people, and that's especially the case when the Tweels are concerned cause she considers them to be dangerous enough that they require even more of her attention than regular people.

As a result, Yuu has picked up on all the little ways that differentiate the two, so she can tell them apart without any trouble.

Of course, it also helps that the twins didn't bother doing anything about their eyes cause normally only Azul can tell them apart just based on the colors of their eyes since the only thing most people pay attention to in order to tell them apart are their dark hair strands, so they didn't stand a chance against Yuu lol

Naturally, Floyd and Jade don't immediately surrender once Yuu points this out since they still think they have a chance of fooling her and making her think she's just misremembering their eye colors.

This leads to Yuu cupping a surprised Jade's face after one moment when he brings his face close to hers since that's something people would expect Floyd to do rather than the always polite Jade.

After gently grabbing Jade's face, Yuu proceeds to reel off all his physical characteristics that differentiate him from Floyd, such as the slight differences between their ears, noses, etc.

She also points out that Jade's teeth are more needle-like than Floyd's teetch which are broader like shark teeth.

During this time, Yuu ends up casually complimenting Jade's attractive features as she's pointing them out since that kinda thing just comes naturally to her.

By the time she finally finishes explaining how Jade can't possibly be Floyd, Yuu moves his hair strand back to its rightful spot and gives him a warm smile. "Much better."

Within seconds after she does that, Floyd, who has given up on the charade by this point, promptly glomps her and starts whining about how it's so unfair that she's only flirting with Jade. "Flirt with me too, Shrimpy!"

Yuu has no idea what he's talking about and denies that she was flirting with Jade. She then turns to look at Jade to get him to back her up on this.

However, much to her surprise, when she returns her attention to Jade, she discovers that he has turned his back to her and is now hiding his face behind his hands.

Since Jade is noticeably trembling and doesn't respond when she worriedly calls out his name, Yuu asks Floyd what's going on with his brother.

Floyd only spares Jade a brief glance before revealing that Jade is fine. He's just embarrassed. Just give him a few minutes, and he'll be back to normal.

To say Yuu was dumbfounded by that turn of events would be a severe understatement lol 😂

[juno-box]

If you could pick ONE person to make it to the Final Season with Clem, outside of the obvious choices (Lee, Kenny, Luke, etc.) who would it be?

Optional: How do you think they'd affect the course of season 4?

If I could pick one person? Duck. Surviving with Clem from S1 to the finish line, I feel like there's some things he can change.

If he woke up in the room with Clem, he'd could probably be a bit of a mediator between the two, he'd probably take charge a bit and not let her size Tenn up.

In terms of people he'd get along with, Willy, Brody and Mitch come to mind. Once that slightly laid back personality starts coming out, I feel like Aasim would try to lump him in Louis. Duck would probably respect a lot of Louis' outlooks on post-apocalypse life.

During the card game at dinner, I bet answering questions would be hilarious.

C: "What's the grossest thing you've ever eaten?" V: "Oh that's easy, uh, horse eyeballs." M: "Slugs." L: "Cantaloupe." C: "I ate a guy's leg once?" D: "No you didn't!" C: "Oh, right, that's was you." D: "Y-... Hey!" V: "..." M: "..." L: "..." D&C: "We're kidding!" L: "... Are you?"

I imagine, the night they find out Marlon & Brody's secret, I feel like he would either go with Clem or she'd ask him to stay with AJ.

If Duck was there, would he see AJ and stop him? More than likely not on time, the moment he saw him (because literally nobody saw him, but Duck has good hearing and a good eye as we see in S1). Duck would see AJ the second he's about to pull the trigger and it's too late.

It's morning, AJ asks if he's a murderer. Duck would instantly tell him no, but try to explain what he did was considered murder. Naturally, confusing AJ. So Clem would take over.

Tenn comes and gets them for funeral, they come back and wait for the vote. They have to leave.

I feel like on the walk, Duck would quietly ask Clem if it's possible they can try Richmond, but Clem would say it's still too risky.

I mean just imagining Duck running into Lilly again and all I can hear is:

"Kenny's kid...?" "Lilly...?" "Great. I don't suppose your dad's around here, is he?" "Lucky for you, he's not." "Hmph. So he's dead then." "Well, duh...?" "???"

I think he'd be a sharpshooter from the windows. So when Lilly grabs Tenn, he'd shoot her in the arm. I think Tenn would get him to move, and I don't think Mitch would charge then. So... Mitch spared?!

Would he be captured? Yeah, I think so. I think he'd sacrifice himself for either Vi or Lou.

Would Duck be maimed on the boat? Oooh, I dunno. I think since he's more survival toughened, he wouldn't talk more than the Delta found permissible unlike Louis, even though Louis was trying to help Aasim and Omar.

But, when the bomb goes off, hearing in one of his ears is damaged. It's a bit more muffled.

He'd probably be strong enough to fricking yeet Tennessee on the other side of the bridge the minute he pulls that stunt with Minerva.

Which may or may not lead to him being bit. He doesn't get devoured, but Tenn does get him bit. Which pisses AJ off. So Duck missing one of his arms? Ye?

I think he'd get Clem up before she's bit herself, but that doesn't mean we might not have to ditch her leg because of what Minnie did to it on the bridge.

Sorry, it's all over the place but these just came to mind as I was typing, lol!

[stayandot8]

The Listener

Genre: angsty-fluff i guess

Relationship type: established boyfriend/girlfriend

Important Contents: reader has a bout of a depressive episode and pushes Chan away, Chan won't take that lying down

a/n: every angst I write turns fluffy again, I don't know why lol. I guess I don't like the idea of either him or the character in my mind that I'm writing about (me?) in pain for very long. I was also inspired by The Trick by AJR when I started this and then it developed into this but I still might use my original idea! Just some background

WC: 2.5k

“I don’t think you should come over tonight.” I never thought I would say those words to him, but they were out before I could stop them. Our phone calls were fewer and far between, Chan’s busy schedule playing more into my unconscious plan than I thought. But this particular phone call was happening more and more often lately. 

“I haven’t seen you in weeks. Just for a few minutes. Please?”

“I’ve got so much going on and I know you do too. Just focus on that, okay?” I hung up before he could see through my lies. If I saw him face to face, I wasn’t sure what I would do. I might not let him leave and that was just as dangerous as the alternative; the opposite. What I didn’t know was that he would come over anyway. 

I was flickering through my TV from my spot on the couch, trying to find something, anything that would take my mind off of him. I was thinking about him more and more often nowadays, which scared me even more. See, here’s the thing. I have always been the type of person who didn’t need to depend on anyone. I made my own life for myself, I’m always the friend that people relied on and the person they went to for anything. When they needed advice, they would come to me. When they wanted to rant about something, I was the sounding board. If they wanted to gush, I was the one they ran to because they knew I would be happy for them, no matter what. I never had that person. I was just bothering them when I would need to return the favor or the subject would turn back to themselves and I found myself slipping into the familiar role of The Listener. 

Now, there’s someone who wants to hear everything I have to say. Every question he asks, he wants the real answer, not the one he wants to hear. And this is new for me. Which is why it’s terrifying and also the reason I've avoided his calls, texts, and apartment for the last couple weeks. 

I hear keys jingling from the hallway outside my apartment door along with heavy footsteps. I make nothing of it until the shuffles stop just outside my door and my door knob jiggles. My head snaps to the door as I sit up, ready to run for my bedroom. Then Chan bursts through my door, his eyes wild until he finds me. His brows raise in a slightly annoyed expression, his once excited posture now dropping.

“‘So much going on’, huh? Yeah, really seems like you’re busy these days.” He drops his bag by his shoes that he’s just taken off and casually strides halfway between me and the bedroom door my shoulders are leaning towards. He leans on the wall, crossing his arms as he sets his jaw and mouth in a tight line. “Care to explain?”

My shock that he had just showed up was quickly replaced by annoyance that he had in fact just showed up. 

“You can’t just walk in here-” He held up a hand before I could finish.

“You gave me that right when you gave me your spare key. Now why did you lie to me?”

I sat back into the couch facing away from him and crossing my own arms, knowing he was right. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything so we just existed in silence for as long as he could stand. 

“Okay, fine.” He left his place on the wall to sit on my coffee table in front of me, trapping me there unless I wanted to physically climb over him to run away from the eyes I knew could get me to do anything. The thought had occurred to me, what route I wanted to take when I eventually did run away from his gaze. My eyes roamed to every possible way I could go until he forced his finger under my chin, forcing me to look at him. The annoyance in his face was still present but his eyes only held concern now. “Why did you lie? Did you really not want me here?” I bit my bottom lip to stop the trembling I knew was coming. I shut my eyes and shook his finger out from underneath my chin. When I opened them again, the concern was replaced by pure sadness. 

“Just go home, Chris.” I stood, my stomach now directly in front of his face. He kept his eyes forward, now leaning his head against me.

“What did I do?” His voice cracked, breaking my resolve that much more. I looked to the ceiling, my lips trembling violently. 

“You didn’t do anything.” My voice was just as quiet as his, breaking in its own way. I finally climbed my legs out from between his and made a break for my room, knowing he’d follow me. I shut my door just in time to see him stop in the hallway, three feet from my door and with that sad look still painting his features. I turned to slide my back down the door and sat, curled up on the floor and trying to keep my sobs from coming out too loud. I felt the door thud, him doing the same as me. I heard his voice through breaks in my cries. 

“Are you trying to break up with me?” I shook my head, even though he couldn’t see me. 

“No.” I said quietly. I heard him sigh, his frustrations catching up to him.

“I can only ask so many times before I give up. I have my limits too.” I heard him get up after a long few minutes, his footsteps receding down my hallway. I never heard my front door close though, so I assumed he was still there but it was the ‘why’ I couldn’t put together. I crawled to the foot of my bed, not yet strong enough to climb onto it. I grabbed a random sweatshirt from the floor to act as a pillow to cry into. I didn’t know I had fallen asleep until the sound of snoring woke me out of a dazed half slumber. When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was a nose, followed by the rest of his face coming into sharper view as my vision focused. I wondered why he was still there, especially on the floor with me. 

As I unstuck my tongue from the roof of my mouth, I couldn’t help but notice the tears I had cried were causing the dryness that I was currently feeling there. My aching limbs were punishing me for trying to use them, rising from my place. I made sure not to wake up the sleeping boy next to me as I walked out to get some water from my kitchen. 

Leaning against the sink gave me the space I needed to think clearly about what had just happened.

 Do you want to break up with him? 

No. Plain and simple.

Then why are you pushing him away?

Because I’m getting too close.

No, that’s not it and you know it.

But I don’t know the actual reason.

Yes you do.

Now tell him before you lose him.

That annoying voice in my head was always right. I imagined it was that voice that stopped me from doing all of the stupid things my brain had wanted to do throughout the course of our entire relationship. I downed two glasses before I got the courage to retrace my steps back to my room. I found Chan sitting on the bed, back against the headboard. He eyed the glass of water I had brought with me for him. My feet padded against my rug to where he was, silently handing him the glass. He took it but didn’t drink. I sat down on the edge, giving myself and him the space to think. 

“Why did you stay?” I fiddled with the string of my hoodie, waiting for his answer. It was a full minute before he spoke. 

“I thought you would need me.” He said simply. “So I slept on the couch but it was so uncomfortable so I checked in here to see if you were asleep. Then I found you on the floor. You looked so sad, I couldn’t leave you like that. You had this deep frown that I couldn’t ignore so I laid down beside you and watched you sleep. I was wondering if I was the one who caused it when I drifted off too.” He took a sip of his water. I did the 180 spin to face him but not meet his eye. I picked a spot on my blanket to stare at. He took several deep breaths. 

“You can’t even look at me, can you?” My blanket was all I could see. It was the only stable thing I could focus on, a constant I could rely on to stay present in the conversation we were supposed to be having. But I wasn’t saying anything. Why am I not saying anything? I tried to move my mouth to speak but my tongue was glued to the roof of my mouth. I couldn’t move. 

“Why are you pushing me away? What did I do?” The pain in his voice caused me to finally meet his gaze, the familiar tears coming back. I could only make out those eyes, begging me to tell him the truth. That closed off space in my heart was begging to be let free, just waiting for someone with the right-shaped key. And that person was sitting right in front of me, imploring me to let him in. To let him see everything, every ugly thing I had ever said or done, every thought I had he wanted to know. The moments I paused, running every possible way that this could go wrong in my brain, gave him the impression that I was closing him out again. His shoulders sagged in defeat, the sad look in his eyes hadn’t left since he crashed through my door. He looked to the floor, unsure of what to say next. He shifted his weight to leave, leave me behind. Suddenly everything went in slow motion. The worst possible situation was happening in front of my eyes, every good thing I had known was grabbing his belongings to desert me like they all did. My breathing came quicker, panic fully setting in. No. Not this one. 

I grabbed his wrist before he got too far, forcing him to stop and turn back to me. 

“Please don’t go.” I whispered. “I don’t know who I am without you.” My voice was so low I could barely hear it myself. I still wonder how he heard what I said but he did. I know he did because he kneeled in front of me.

“Every relationship I have ever had, romantic or platonic, I’ve had to pretend to be people that I thought they would want to love. I wanted to be loved so badly that I would transform into different people to please them. I would like things I don’t, do things I never thought I would do in the worst way just to make people happy. I’ve done that my whole life. Except… when I met you. I found that when you were asking me things, the only answer I could give was the real one. You would ask me what I wanted to do and for the first time, I wasn’t secretly thinking ‘what do I think he wants to do?’ You never made me feel like I had to be someone else. I feel like I’ve never met myself until I started hanging around you. And that terrifies me.”

“But why? Why does that scare you?”

“I thought you would notice that and push me away. So I did it first.”

He sighed, his shoulders drooping as he rested his forehead on my knees. That’s when the shaking started, the vulnerability of this moment starting to take over.

“I’ve always been the one people depend on. I’m not used to having someone like that. I feel like I can’t breathe without you. And I’ve never felt that before. I’ve never needed anyone like I need you. All the time, everywhere.”

“Well, I don’t know if you know this, but I’m the same way. I have seven kids that I have to be strong for. That I have to be stable for. And you keep me stable. I have millions of people who rely on me because I bring them strength and comfort. I don’t know how, but I have to believe what they tell me. I feel like I put too much on your shoulders because I’m in this relationship with you. I know I can only be around so much and my attention has to be split between so many things. But you have been such a breath of refreshment every time. I can relax around you.  I don’t have to be anyone else with you. I don’t have to put on a mask or be a professional or someone else. You make me appreciate the simple things about myself. You remind me that I don’t have to be Bang Chan all the time. With you, I can be Chris.” He stood only enough to be eye level with me, bringing his hands to catch my tears from falling all the way down. “Sometimes I think I’m a little too obsessed with you. I feel like I crowd you too much. I know I can be very clingy but it's just because I can’t possibly be around you enough.”

 I chuckled through the remainder of the tears, simply for something else to do. 

“I never had to depend on anyone before you. I was the one people depended on.” 

“Even the dependable people need someone to lean on. The listeners need someone to listen to them.” The way he whispered it against my forehead sent a shiver down my body. “And now that we’ve established that, can we please sleep on something other than the floor? I know you’re exhausted.” I nodded, looking longingly at my pile of pillows, exhaustion taking over my limbs. I knew this conversation wasn’t over but for now, I just missed him too much. We both moved to our respective sides, his arms opening to invite me in. I let myself be pulled up into his chest, his warmth surrounding me as his chin rested on the top of my head. 

“I missed you.” He sighed, his breath tickling my hair on my neck. I had no more words left so I just did the only thing I knew could express my feelings at that moment. I just hugged him tighter. My last thoughts before I drifted off were the ones that had been going through my head since I met him.

 Please don’t leave me.

[sushisocks]

hi i just finished rdr2, really love your stuff (FINALLY a blog that properly info dumps!! keep them coming please!!). i don't know if this is your thing, but the song I Gave You All by Mumford & Sons makes me think of arthur so much because each lyric corresponds so perfectly to his ending. obviously it's in the song title (arthur's "i gave you all i had"), but the lines "how can you say that your truth is better than ours?" and "you rip out all i had just to say that you've have won" makes me wonder what arthur's last thoughts really were?? the song has a very bitter tone, which is opposite of the game, but i can't actually tell what arthur's last words are supposed to mean, especially with him repeating "i tried...i did." were the "i dids" meant to be a plead for mercy (to remind dutch of his lifelong loyalty in hopes that he's spared from a violent death) or was it meant to be sympathetic (to indicate that they were both doomed men who were only trying their best)? or was it an apology, like "i did all i could, but it wasn't enough"? knowing his level of self esteem/guilt i think arthur would feel a very heavy obligation and responsibility, so it makes sense for him to say "i did all i could, but it still wasn't enough because i was not good enough," but he seemed to be very accepting of his death. sorry if this was rambly/late to the party, i would love to hear your thoughts about it!!!

Oh, Anon, this is the sort of thing I LOVE seeing in my askbox, I am kissing you on the lips rn for giving me the permission to talk about this so lets TALK about it!! (Sorry it took me a minute to get to it, I had to rotate ur questions in my mind for a bit so I could best formulate my thoughts, you know how it is)

First off, I Gave You All by Mumford & Sons is SUCH a good RDR2/Arthur song, I agree hugely on this, and it makes a LOT of sense for the ending notes, especially on a High Honor/Save John run. I've been listening to it on repeat since I saw ur ask, all while typing this up, and I got a lil emotional at times man. I love music recs and while I know some Mumford & Sons songs this was a recontextualization I very much needed in my life thank u <3

The rest of this is LONG so putting in a read more to save my mutuals lol

Okay, so, I now have a LOT of thoughts about what's going through Arthur's mind and what he might've meant at the end of his last mission, so lets get into it. To begin with I want to list out the lines that are said in this scene, so we're all on the same page. (Helpfully and lovingly pulled from the gamescripts wiki blog, which my life has revolved around for the past year and a half)

Dutch van der Linde: It is over now… Arthur. It’s over. Arthur Morgan: Oh, Dutch… he’s a rat. You know it and I know it. Micah Bell: He’s sick… he’s dying… he’s talking crazy. Pinkerton: There! Up there on the ridge! Arthur Morgan: (to Dutch) I gave you all I had… I did. Dutch van der Linde: I… Micah Bell: Come on. Dutch… let’s go, buddy. We made it. We won. Come on. Arthur Morgan: John made it. He’s the only one. Rest of us… no. But… I tried. In the end… I did. Micah Bell: (to Dutch) Come on… let's go. We can make it. Come on, Dutch… come on!

So WHAT is going on here? Surface level, this is the last appeal to Dutch. The last battle of wills between Micah and Arthur, where Arthur is STILL trying to make Dutch see sense. I think it's an important part of Arthur's character to understand that he believes, until the very bitter end, that there's a chance for him to reach through to Dutch. It's the main reason he heads back to camp, after saving Abigail. Milton has told him Micah is the rat, and Arthur believes that if he can just get back to camp and tell Dutch the truth, that will be it. He, erroneously, believes his word alone will be enough.

But the thing is, in my opinion, in a way Arthur is RIGHT! He DOES reach through to Dutch, but he has to die for it. That is what the "I gave you all I had" line is for.

It is Dutch, unsure who to believe. It is Micah, screaming for Dutch to listen to him. And it is Arthur, gently reminding Dutch: I devoted my entire life to you, all that I know has been with you, all that I am has come from you.

Arthur would have gone to the ends of the Earth for Dutch -- he would be grumbling and complaining the entire time, but he'd still do it if Dutch asked. He is, in this moment, telling Dutch, I gave you all I had and you took it, there is nothing left but my death, what reason do I have to lie?

It is the crack in the wall, a small moment of clarity for Dutch, which has him leave them both on that cliff, which has him turn up again 8 years later and kill Micah. Not enough to turn on Micah right away, but enough to truly have Dutch stop and reconsider. Because with those words Arthur is not only speaking on his own behalf, whether or not he knows it. He is reminding Dutch of everyone else who has died for him; Grimshaw, Molly, and Hosea, as the most notable ones, I think. Arthur slots neatly in with those three as people who truly devoted their everything to Dutch, gave him all they had, of life and time and energy, and were served nothing but death, destruction, and heartache in return.

It stuns Dutch; for once he is truly speechless, having to reckon with Arthur's words and what they mean, what they imply. Micah knows Arthur's words are more impactful, and keeps trying to sway him to his side, for ends we can only really guess at. But we already know there's no chance Dutch will go with Micah at this point. But he also wont stay with Arthur.

Then: "John made it. He’s the only one. Rest of us… no. But… I tried. In the end… I did."

One of Arthur's main objectives in Chapter 6 is saving as many people of the gang as possible. The Pinkertons are closing in and, while Arthur believes that it's just bad luck until Milton tells him otherwise, he still hopes for the best outcome possible, for the women and children, as he says.

Which is why he says John made it. Because to Arthur, John's making it, means the women and children making it. It means Abigail, Tilly, Sadie, and Jack, all waiting at Copperhead Landing, are not waiting in vain. It is the reassurance that they will be fine, and the idea that John might finally actually step up and be the father Arthur has so desperately wanted him to be for Jack. To Arthur, John making it is the best outcome.

But he still wanted to save as many people as possible. Dutch, Javier, and Bill included. They were still Arthur's friends and family. They still mattered to him. But I think Arthur realizes, dying upon that cliff, that there's no way out for them anymore. They'll get off this mountain and continue their way of living, and the government will keep hunting them. He is essentially saying the rest of them are just as doomed as Arthur is, even if Arthur is the one currently dying. And he tried.

I want to say that Arthur saying he tried, is both about saving the gang, and about being better. There are SO many interactions you can have in chapter 6 alone that's about being better than you were. Edith Downes, Sister Calderòn, Charles, Rains Fall, and Mary-Beth are just SOME that I can think of, at the top of my head. I think in this moment, Arthur is reaffirming to himself that at the very least he tried. He did everything he could, in the time that he had. He doesn't know if that's enough, or if it means more than what it is, but he tried, and that, to him, HAS to mean something.

It is him accepting that this is the end, and that he doesn't know!! He genuinely doesn't!! If he has done enough to actually change the course of events!! But God do I love the message of Arthur finding peace in having tried. In having done what he could, and seeing what changes he could, and knowing in that last breath, watching that rising sun, that he did make a difference.

Do I think Arthur is angry or bitter when he passes? Not in a High Honor/Save John run, no. I think he is disappointed and sad with Dutch. But I also think he has found a place within himself where he can accept that this is it, for him. And he is hopeful for those whom he has saved, who got out of there and live to see another day.

He gave his all, and he really really tried, and he finds peace in the end. How simultaneously heartbreaking and heartening isn't that?

[elenadoeslife]

about last night..

We were supposed to be sleeping together. I had already finished my night time routine and crawled into bed. He took his sweet time in the bathroom and when I finally heard him come upstairs, he walked straight into the game room (where the spare bed is too). After 10 minutes of going back and forth, I decided to suck up my feelings and text him. He didn't read it. Since I was wide awake at that point, I decided to go downstairs and have a drink. Then I noticed the PC light underneath the door.

When I typed everything to get it out of my head yesterday, I said the same thing I'm about to say now: why not just walk in and ask him to join me, right? I am terrified to voice my needs, because it makes me vulnerable to rejection. I'd rather deal with stuff myself than have to rely on other people for it (still wondering how I got burnt out?) It's part of the reason I went to therapy. Anyway, bringing all of this up last weekend was already a big step. Texting him last night was another. I think I just reached my limit. So, instead of knocking and asking, I went back to bed feeling humiliated and hurt. I had a pity party and finally cried myself to sleep at about 02:30.

The reason I didn't post anything yesterday is because I knew there would be a logical explanation, which there was. We just talked about it, me crying some more as he hugged me. He should've come to me, I should've come to him. At moments like these it becomes painfully clear I need to keep working on myself. He's not a mind reader, and he doesn't bite (unless I want him to, he just said, lol). It's just.. a lot.

My body count is a double digit. Flirting used to be second nature to me, pursuing didn't scare me. I've had sex in public places, used toys in restaurants. I never used to be like this, until it all went sideways. Now even asking my 5+ year boyfriend to come cuddle in bed with me is too much of a hurdle. Trauma really fucks a person up.

Anyway, that's the gist of it. I keep sharing this with all of you, despite the hurt & shame, because I know I'm not the only one who is going through this. It's just that nobody talks openly about it. So I'll be the person I wish I had in my own life right now.

Thank you all again for your comments & messages. You make this page feel like a safe space where I can be vulnerable and share stuff like this. I love you 💗

[spiked-mall-goth]

so i had such a day today omggggggg

so got up early as hell to go see saw which was at 12:15pm. theaters a ways away and we wanted to go to the flea market.

at the flea market i saw this cute halloween tin and was like oooOOOooo !! but i picked it up and it rattled, and was full of halloween JEWELRY!!! sooo i obviously got it, bc it was only $1(usd)

keep walking and a very big lamp catches my eye, idk why but i HAD to go look at this lamp. so i mosey on over take a look at the lamp and hidden under a pile of stuff next to the lamp is a little woodstock figure!! hes in a valentines heart chocolate box and i literally was like YIPPEEE!!! so i got him for a dollar and put hm in my little halloween bucket.

keep walking and my brother stops to search a toy bin for go bots, and i find a SNOOPY!! hes a 2018 mcdonalds toy and hes sitting on a cloud holding woodstock and when you roll him is EARS SPIN. literally the coolest thing evr def screetched a lil dont even worry abt that. hes now also in my bucket.

so we move on and this booth has some really nice halloween stuff set out so i go over to look. and the older lady who owned it saw my halloween bucket and was 'that is so cute!!' and i was like 'right?? it was only a dollar and it had jewelry!!' so i open it to show her and she sees my snoopy and woodstock and is like 'HOW CUTE COME LOOK AT MY BOBBLE HEAD' and pulls me over to look at the snoopy bobble head she had as decoration. and ofc im like 'OMG HOW FUCKING CUTE' and we chit chat and then shes like hey i think youd like this, and then pulls me over to a glass case with a DRACULA TROLLS DOLL IN IT. and ofc im FREAKING OUT BC HOLY SHIT ITS A DRACULA TROLLS DOLL. anyways i did not have $25 to spare today :<

so we leave the flea market and go get movie snacks to smuggle in (im so poor btw), get to the theater and buy tickets. the worker is like 'yep saw x, youll be in theater 8' so me and my brother walk in and sit down just to be greeted by paul dano in a santa hat staring straight at us telling us about the stock market and nfts. we are like ????? check the tickets. they moved the time from 12:15pm to 1:50pm.... we have made a terrible blunder. we debate what to do b4 walking out of the theater and going up to the front like 'heyyyyyyy so we totally got the wrong time, can we come back later with the tickets or do we have to stay here?' and she was like 'yeah totally. i noticed u walked into dumb money a few minutes ago and was like hmmmm i wonder if they noticed.' SHE WAS GONNA JUST LEAVE US IN THERE. that is so fucking funny to me.

we go kill time at a thrift store, my younger brother buys a vial of holy water.

we come back, still terribly early but whtvr. me and my older brother play the worst game of pocket tanks this world has ever seen. my younger brother texts to let me know he stopped at a different thrift store on the way home and got me AN X FILES VHS FOR FIFTY FUCKING CENTS !!!!!! YIPPPEEEEEE!!!

we watch saw. very bad movie omg. come home, breath once then right back out the door for my older brothers band to practice and then a boring ass social event. there were burgers there tho,, damn fine food.

thats all the interesting stuff but im already here typing and your already here reading. i had a fight with my printer trying to print the notes i needed for rehearsals tmrrw (i waited last minute whoops). my cat did the most rancid thing i've ever seen. she propped her hind leg on the rim of the water bowl to lick her tosies.... i cannot even describe.. maybe i'll draw it later if i have the time. i set up my new figures on my desk (its so crowded lol) and i worked a little on the sculpture im making. yesterday my brother accidentally yanked my arm weird. he kinda pulled on the elbow i have previously fractured and it hurt but was fine, then tonight i was saying bye to my friend and he also yanked it. ouch. wearing a brace rn bc woof. i finished up some of the choreography i was working on for my next show, although i have no idea if it will actually work bc i did it alone in my room and not with like the 7 other ppl. i had a stange fruity drink, didnt taste good. my best friend texted me panicking bc she took smth WILD and was off her gourd. (shes on a business trip btw). i also did the laundry.

[velvetwastaken]

Hii, you know the drill! I give the numbers and you can answer the questions :) 2, 4, 8, 13, 15, 19 (optional, you don't have to),

LOL! I always appreciate it! Thank you, ridl! Answers below the cut.

2. Do you read/reread your own fics?

I doooo. As much as I like sharing my writing with others, I’m still my own target audience lol. I write fics that I would like to read.

4. How many WIPs do you have right now?

15! In various stages of completion 😅

8. What project(s) are you currently working on?

I’m actively working on one ongoing wip, but I’m thinking about at least three or four others regularly and I think that counts, too, lol.

And it’s not a fanfic per se but it is fanfic adjacent: I’m trying to teach myself how to bind books, because I’d like hardcopies of my own fics one day and I think it’d be a cool way to incorporate my leather work into my fandoms. It’s going terribly so far, but I’ll keep trying 😂

13. How much planning do you do before writing?

Really depends on the story. I historically haven’t been much of a planner, but I also historically have never written anything longer than 20-30k words. As I try pushing myself beyond that, I’m finding planning and outlining and keeping notes to be really invaluable. But for the shorter stuff, under 25k, I’ll probably keep to winging it.

15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters?

Ooo. Good question. I don’t think I really have a system to come up with titles for anything, and I usually keep chapters just numbered since it’s easier. For some of my fics, I titled them first, others I found a title after they were finished (and for the record, I think those titles are much better). But usually it’s a matter of trying to find something that encapsulates the fic or its theme for me. I like one word titles best, but they’re much harder to come up with, I think.

19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.

Okay okay. For context, this is an older one, an overly ambitious attempt at a ganqing pride and prejudice au. I though I probably would never be able to finish it, but I think I actually do want to try. One day, lol.

It’s late on a Friday afternoon when Ganyu first hears the news. She is sitting at her desk, the expansive mahogany surface covered in an assortment of files, three monitors, and a holoprojector. The sinking sun alights on her back as she hunches over her tablet, typing a hundred words per minute, determined to finish this last report before calling it a day.  The elevator chimes and she glances up as the doors whisper open and the three assistants who share the foyer office space with her spill out, chattering like a flock of birds. Ganyu furrows her brow a degree in faint disapproval as the three move to their desks on the opposite side of the room, their heeled shoes clip-clopping on the gleaming marble floor. They continue to warble at their desks, their excited voices piercing Ganyu’s concentration and shattering her focus. She sighs, looks pointed at them and then slams her tablet shut. The three assistants jump at the sound. One, Baixiao, at least has the decency to look slightly ashamed. “Ah, Miss Ganyu!” exclaims Baishi, “We didn’t realize you were still here.” Ganyu purses her lips. “I was just leaving,” she says.  “Did you hear the news, Miss Ganyu?” asks Baiwen.  “I hear a lot of news, you’ll have to be more specific,” answers Ganyu as she packs her tablet and a few documents into her bag. She will have to finish her report at home.  “Lady Ningguang’s finally hired a new Yuheng,” says Baishi.  “Oh?” “I heard she’s incredibly young for such a position,” says Baixiao. “She’s supposed to be something of a prodigy.” “I heard she’s from one of the wealthiest families in the country,” counters Baiwen. “And I heard she’s a straight up 10,” says Baishi with a smirk. “A total smokeshow.” The three assistants all burst into giggles.  Ganyu doesn’t even spare the effort of rolling her eyes. With a company as big as Qixing Inc, rumours and gossip are part of the general office ambience. Ganyu tries to ignore most of it, but can’t help being a little bit interested if it happens to affect her at all. And a new Yuheng definitely affects her. 

[ghstzzn]

entombed. ━━ jeong yunho

pairing: jeong yunho x f!reader wc: 3.3k

summary: a demon of your past casually takes what's his, which is you.

warnings/tags: smut, porn with almost zero plot, demon yunho, unprotected sex, oral (f) rec., rough sex, public sex (in an office during after hours), pet names (baby, angel) multiple orgasms, can't think of anything else.

note: this is a re-upload from my deleted account, yunho-mp3, so if it seems very familiar - that is why lol. this is still one of the few things i've written that i loveeeee so much.

The rain pours, cracks of thunder here and there, never startling you though. In fact, it brought some sort of comfort to you, it gave you a sense of realness, as if everything around you were fake. Like if living and breathing were but a chore. Yes, that was the only way you could describe it. 

You felt like a weed in a beautiful garden. Poisoned, ripped out - but never at the root, and stomped on. But here you were, sitting straight up as you finished your report for work. Your glasses nearly slipping off the tip of your nose as you type away on your computer, like you were on autopilot. You entrust the workload to your hands as they abuse every letter on the keyboard. 

Not a soul remained in the quiet office. They’ve gone home to their families - their children, their loved ones, or maybe out with their friends while they try to digest ungodly amounts of alcohol. You could be doing the same, yes, you had friends and family, but your feet stayed planted to the floor of the office building. 

You were happy with life, beyond happy. It felt as if you had everything. He was in your life then too, but it was different then. He hadn’t had as much of an impact as he does now. Your escapades with the man never haunted you as much as they did now. They were harmless, they were innocent one (or multiple) one night stands, you knew almost nothing about him. All you knew was that he “traveled” and little things, like how he liked his coffee & eggs, or how he loved deep conversations with you that lasted hours before you fucked until the sun rose, or how he would never be there when you woke up again. No note. No text. Nothing. As if he were never there. Only the smell of cigarettes and liquor remained in your cold, empty bed.

Jeong Yunho, the man you once felt safe with despite knowing it was but casual sex after bar meetups. You had your suspicions about him. They were mostly him having an affair with you, but you knew something was wrong and this would end horribly. 

And it did. Or so you thought.

You brought it up after a lustful night, trying your best to keep your eyes open. You questioned where he went, why he was so secretive, why he refused to give you a number and why he spoke in poems. You asked why you had to rely on coincidental bar meetups, in which he showed up with a group of people and why the customers in the bar didn’t spare him a single glance. In the midst of it all, you confessed your love for him. Maybe that's where it snapped.

He laughed at you. Said you were perfect, adorable even. Tears welled up in his eyes as he laughed at you. It took five minutes for him to compose himself before he confessed. Not love. Not anything you’d expect, no, he confessed his sins to you.

Yunho confessed the number of people he’s slaughtered, the people he's tortured. He confessed ripping families apart for the hell of it, just because he can, and because of his purpose. The sacrifices, the blood, the worship. Hell, he called himself the devil and wore the title proudly. The man you confessed your love to ran a fucking cult and the worst part about it is that your feelings didn’t fade, you had just wished you didn’t ask.

Ignorance is bliss.

He disappeared that night. You haven’t seen Yunho since that night. Honestly, you couldn’t sleep for weeks as you were convinced he would come back just to kill you. It would only make sense, as he did confess to horrid crimes you never once assumed he was capable of doing. But still, you were at war with yourself and your morals. How could you still love him? To yearn for him every night before bed? You question your sanity. The man left you to rot in fear, watching your own back constantly. Jolting awake to every noise you heard in your apartment. 

Yet, you still missed the sweet scent he left on your pillows the months before now. Missing the soft scent of alcohol and cigarettes mixed with honey and sandalwood. You missed his voice, his accent and the way his voice lowered through the night whether it was sweet nothings he whispered into your ears or when he told you about the passions no one knew of as you stargazed.

You weren’t the only one at battle with yourself either. Yunho condemned himself. He hated himself for going back to you for a second night at the bar. Absolutely despised himself for letting his rotting heart open up to you during those nights. But most importantly, he despised you. He hated you, he wanted to wrap his hands around your throat and end your life right then and there. But it wasn’t because of who he was, and what you knew he was. It was because he loved you, because he let himself become addicted to you. He let himself feel things for you he was never supposed to feel and he could only hate you for that. Even on nights like this, all he can think about is you. 

The rain never let up - a perfect metaphor for you. You continue to let your fingers work their magic on the computer in front of you. Ruining your eyes in the dark room. Your teeth abused your bottom lip while a certain man abused your mind. You hear a beep at the entrance of your office, you think nothing of it as it could be another overtime victim or the security guard making his rounds (though the old man was sure to scold you if so). When you don’t hear any footsteps to follow the sound of the door slamming shut, you look up from your computer screen. 

You shoot up from your desk chair, it rolls back, hitting the desk behind you with a thud. Your heart pounds as Yunho stands just feet away from you. The moonlight, along with the light from a few stray computers left on open documents lit up his body just enough for you to take in the man standing before you. It would be wrong to call him beautiful in such a moment as this. But he was. You couldn’t deny it, it’s what drew your heart towards him anyway. You couldn’t decipher if your heart was pounding in fear or if it were pounding in yearning for Yunho. 

“Angel.” Your body flinches. Air caught in your throat as he speaks the pet name for you in his deep voice. You wonder where he was before this. Ending lives? Taking souls for himself if he were the devil he claims to be? Even so, you wonder why he left you, and why didn’t stay in your arms all these past nights.

He steps towards you and you take a step back. He only smirks at the reaction your body gave. You fight off every instinct to run into his arms. Your mind and body are at war with each other as you continue to step backwards with every step he takes towards you. 

“Why do you run, angel?” Yunho questions, he still advances towards you. You start to run out of room behind you, but you don’t know that. 

“Wh-what are you doing here?” You try your best to ask the question with a sturdy voice, not letting emotions take over. He cannot win. Yet. “How did you find me, Yunho?”

Your upper thighs are met with the hard desk behind you and Yunho is a mere foot from you, closing the distance between you at a painfully slow pace. You want to run, but stupidly enough you choose to stay.

“My heart follows only you, of course I know where you are.” He replies, a wide smile planted on his face. “I always know where you are.”

Yunho stands in front of you know, his breath hitting your forehead as he speaks. He lifts a hand, twirling your hair through his fingers as he admires every inch of your face. 

“I've missed you dearly.” His voice barely above a whisper. Your words get caught in your throat. Missed you? The same man that left you empty, alone and confused missed you?

“You don’t get to say that, Yunho. Where were you?” You match his tone as you speak. “You left me..”

His hand falls on your cheek, cupping it with enough strength to force your head up at him but not enough to hurt you. You unwillingly fall into his touch, your body yearning for his comfort once again. 

“My sweet girl has missed me too,” Yunho starts, “stupidly enough, you miss me just as much. I’m here now, that means something, right?”

“It.. it doesn’t.” You reply, a loss of words as you try to come up with what to say to the man in front of you. 

The man that left you for months, making you feel inhumane, questioning your own soul. You should be screaming at him, running away from him. You could at least tell him to get the fuck away from you, but you stay planted in the same spot, melting into his touch. 

Yunho's eyes battle on what to focus on, going back and forth from your eyes to your lips. His body subconsciously leaning into yours, breath fanning your face. He watches your eyes share the same struggle as his. You want him just as badly, and he knows it. It makes him smile. The way you so easily submit to him, it's endearing, really. Yunho adores you, and you give him every single reason to keep adoring you. 

He can now. There’s nothing stopping him, and he won't let anything stop him again.

“Please.” You breathe out. And with just that one word from you, his lips are connected to yours.

The kiss burns with passion, your lips dance a fiery dance as they melt into each other. It’s not long before he’s biting your lip, making you gasp so he can slip his tongue in yours. A fight of dominance, one that he wins again. Maybe one day he could let you take the reins on him, but for now, he needed you in any way he could have you. It wasn’t in his plans to take you in your office, but it doesn’t matter. It will be your last night stepping foot in this building. Maybe it was better you ended up here, the security cameras pointed at your breathless bodies tearing at each other's clothing as he claimed you for himself. 

Your mind is foggy as Yunho rips open your blouse, buttons landing in various places as he attacks your neck and chest. Biting and sucking on the most sensitive parts of your skin. Your hands find themselves gripping at his hair for stability. The moans of his name only encourage him to go deeper. He lowers himself, planting kisses on your stomach, looking into your eyes and he bites and tugs at your skin, soaking in your yelps and whines.

Yunho drops to his knees, hands gripping the backs of your thighs as he searches your eyes for anything. When he finds the answer he needs, he's tugging your slacks down with such force that you almost fall on top of him, only saved by him slamming you back against the desk. One hand flys on top of the desk behind you and the other on top of Yunho's head, raking your fingers through his hair before grabbing a handful to keep your body stable. 

His breath fans your clothed core, which is dripping in sweet arousal that Yunho can so clearly smell from a mile away. The scent that started his addiction with you. He yanks your underwear down in one brief movement, not wasting a single second in between before diving himself into your folds. Tongue attacking your clit with force that almost folds your body in half, practically screaming his name. He spreads your legs enough to slip two fingers inside of you, not bothering to start small. Yunho's goal was to pleasure you and prepare you, as he has always done, but this time more desperately.

He needed you badly, skin aching to touch you once more. His fingers pump and curl inside you at a fast pace that has your knees shaking while his tongue darts and swirls at your sensitive nub. If your vision hadn’t gone foggy and you were paying close attention, you could see Yunho's eyes turn black, with no life behind them. 

“Fuck- Yunho, please.” You moan out. His fingers remain inside you, pumping at a pace that only makes you roll your eyes back, he pulls his mouth away.

“God, how I’ve missed your sweet taste.” Yunho kisses your inner thighs, you only yearn for his touch where you need him the most. “You haven’t fucked anyone else, I can tell. You belong to me, huh? This sweet cunt of yours is all mine for the taking?”

Your body heats up and you clench at his words. His fingers stop, urging you to answer. Yunho has always liked when you responded to his filthy words in bed. 

“Y-yes! All for you, Yunho. Please.. M-more.”

He smirks against your skin, returning the brutal pace of his fingers. He throws one of your legs over his shoulder, reaching new spots in your core. He dives back into your wetness, the force of his tongue has you leaning back onto the messy desk behind you. Not caring of the mess you were making in the owner's area. Both hands are now in Yunho's hair as he eats you out like a starved man. 

A familiar warmth pools in your lower half as he continues to abuse your clit and hole. You pull on his hair, making him groan right into you. He leaves a harsh slap to your ass, snapping that rope leading to your orgasm. Your body trembles as you come on to his fingers and tongue, but his pace never relents. He continues until he's satisfied. 

“Yunho- fuck, it’s t-too much. Oh my god- too much!” You almost scream. The warmth pooling back into your stomach already, not even being minutes since your first orgasm. He adds a third finger and you scream out his name.

Your thighs close around his head as he brings forth another orgasm, you pull his hair, trying your hardest to push him away from your overstimulated area. He pulls back, a smile so wide you could only assume he achieved his goal.

Yunho pulls his fingers out of you, you pant as he stands to his full height. Grabbing the back of your neck to pull you closer to him, he sticks his fingers into your mouth, and you suck.

“Taste yourself, pretty angel of mine? That’s all you.” He coos. You stare into his eyes, his black eyes. Lost in the pleasure, you couldn’t possibly bring yourself to be concerned over it. Technically, he did warn you.

He replaces his fingers with his lips once more. He quickly unbuckled his jeans, yanking them down with his underwear to free his aching cock. Yunho hooks his arms under your thighs, rubbing his length against your soaked core. Making your body shutter at the action.

“Fuck. Y/N, you don’t know how badly I’ve needed to be inside you.” He groans into your ear. “How bad I’ve needed you these past few months. Just wanna fuck you and never stop.”

“Please, please just- need you inside, Yunho.” You whine, bucking your hips for any friction his cock can give.

“Mmh, I’m not the only one who’s been needy, huh?”

Yunho tucks your hair out of your face. “So fucked out and I haven’t even properly fucked you.”

You throw your head into his shoulder as he slides into you. Not sparing you a second before he's already pulling out and slamming back into you. Yunho suddenly lifts you into his arms, bringing you to a different table, an emptier table that he can lay you down on. He takes your hands and pins them above your head before ramming into you once more.

He speeds his pace up, fucking into you with enough force that the table below you creaks. Yunho lets go of your hands to grip your waist, bringing your body to meet his as he fucks you. He grunts and groans, throwing his head back in pleasure. You didn’t even notice when he got rid of his shirt. 

“S’fucking perfect. Like you were made to take my cock.” Yunho grunts out. “Wanna fuck you so full.”

You only scream and moan his name. His pace only quickens and you can feel your third orgasm approach you. 

“Cum on my cock, angel.” 

You tighten around him before releasing over him once more. Your body shakes and you can barely catch your breath. He pulls out suddenly, flipping you over, giving you a second to recover as he rubs your ass cheeks before giving them a smack. 

“Just one more, baby.” He pleads from behind.

“Yunho- I, so much-”

“One more, I promise. Then we can leave forever. Together.”

You don’t push on that, you only nod and he enters you again. Returning his brutal thrusts from before but this time as a new angle. You wonder how he could have so much restraint from cumming, but he is inhuman afterall. Or so it seems.

Your body flattens against the table top as he fucks into you with so much strength that the table rocks back and forth. You yelp and moan his name loudly as he does so. The office room is silent other than the cries from both you and Yunho and skin slapping. Yunho continues the brutal pace but soon his thrusts turn sloppier by the second.

“Fuck- baby, I’m close.” He chokes out, leaning forwards to catch himself on the table. “Cum with me again, angel, I know you can.”

He reaches a hand around, rubbing circles in your already sensitive clit. It doesn’t take long for your final orgasm to reach you. 

“Yes, just like that. Cum for me, show me one more time how good I’m fucking you.” 

The band inside you snaps once more as you come, with so much force that your body falls limp as you pant against the table. Within a few more thrusts, Yunho comes inside of you. White ropes of cum filling your walls for what it seems like a full minute. He pulls out and rests against your body, both catching your breaths and trying to regain your stamina.

Moments pass before he’s helping you turn over, wiping up your legs with spare tissues left on one of the nearby desks. 

“You think you can walk?” He asks as he pulls your slacks back up over your legs. You nod.

“I think so, maybe with a bit of help.” You reply. “By the way, your eyes.. They are-”

“Black? Baby, I told you what I was months ago, don’t act so ignorant.”

Yunho straightens out, already fully dressed, as he covers your chest with your torn blouse. He stares into your eyes, with what you could only hope is with love.

“Let’s go,” He takes your hand in his, “We have a car waiting.”

“Where are we going?” You ask, leaning into his hold.

“Away. Won't you come with? We’ll be together forever.” He questions, but he knows the answer already. He knows you would follow him to the ends of the Earth if he asked.

“Of course, Yunho. Until the end.” He smiles, almost sadistically. You were his, forever.

Yunho takes your hand up to his mouth, planting a kiss on the back of it.

“Oh, you will. You’re nothing but mine, for eternity.” 

[songs-about-girls-like-me]

chapter 15: 4ever obsessed

I hated the paper in which they had printed every english workbook in the world. It either was literal newspaper or magazine material and it was always a PAIN to use pencil on them. Still, I did, cause I refused to use pen to write on them. I was missing a couple of answers on the page before I could go ahead and be chaotic with my friends, as the rest of my classmates participating in the jungle-like ambient of school.

"2. Her lawyer would [___], or argue, that she was innocent." The words I hadn't used were "stress", "spare" and "contend" and I was re-reading every sentence on the page when someone leaned over me and drummed on my desk.

"Hurry up, bitchhh" It was Ella, half singing her words.

"Shut the fuck uppp" I said copying her, still with my eyes on the page.

"Come onnnn!! The answers are written on the damn blackboard, Rees!" She pretended to choke me for a second, making us both laugh.

"Yeah, I'm trying to learn a language here."

"Ugh, you're so annoying. Plus, it's so easy!"

"It's literally not"

"Number 1 is "prohibit", number 2 is "contend" She was reading from the blackboard. Miss Claudia would straight up write the answer key for us to "check our results" aka not having to teach a class lol. And we knew she was being lazy and she knew we were being lazy.

"Aaaaaaaa shut uppppp, Ella"

"3 is "spare", 4 "adress", 5 "countr-

"Come on, Rees" It was Poppy now, and she was shaking my shoulders. I laughed a bit again.

"Maybe if you guys let me have a think!!"

"Ree, just copy the stupid answers!!!!" This was Olivia, who would call me "Ree" like my family did.

"Aaaggh" I looked up at them, MJ was there too, just laughing and I couldn't help but smile at them towering over me looking happy, but also just needed a moment to finish!!! As we've stated before, I had a hermione granger personality complex and cheating on something like this was a bit unthinkable to me and my knowledge ambitions.

"We love our smarty pants friend"

"Fuck you guys"

We laughed and then they gave me a couple minutes to finish while they were chatting, standing around my desk, their four voices and laughs hovering over me. I was obsessed. Never had it felt this way to be me. It felt so cool and different to have Poppy and MJ now. Maybe because I had met them being now older, it felt so much like a new and cooler vibe, and even Liv and Ella felt newer and cooler to me.

Five minutes later, after getting my work graded and having Ella and Liv mock me cause "I would've gotten a 10/10 had I just copied from the blackboard as everyone else!!!", we went to the back of the classroom to a bunch of desks that had been pushed messily against the wall by the four of them, and then we hung out there, sitting on top of the desks, or rather laying on them, sort of how mermaids rest to take the sun and comb their hair on a rock in the shore. As if there was any sun to take in the cloudy 1pm afternoon inside the classroom.

One of the top activities we enjoyed was chat and have a great Time while focusing on appearing nonchalant and pretty. That specific day, one of us had brought grapes for lunch, the type of grape that is very round, the color of red wine and actually crunches inside your mouth when you bite them. Delicious! We put the tupper ware in the middle of the desks and talked while actively trying to look cool while eating. We all were giving tips on how to achieve this, as if we could've given a master class on "how to bite a grape and how to make it look like you're kissing someone and how to do it without making it look weird." And we laughed and laughed and laughed, cause sometimes it was terrible and sometimes we would mock each other, and it still felt like being by the pool side.

"They're looking at us" said Ella.

"Who?" asked Olivia.

"My stupid jerk ex-friends" said MJ.

"That's fun" said Poppy bitting a grape down the middle. "Of course they're looking, you look emotionally fine and we're looking cooler than them." Poppy said it as facts and I believed her.

"Also, you haven't cried in ages" added Ella.

"Thanks, Elle" said MJ with a bit of irony, making us laugh. But it was true.

"We love our drama queen" I said messing her hair up a tiny bit.

"Yea, I know I know" MJ blew us a few kisses. And Poppy asked whether she could also be our drama queen and we started talking about who was most dramatic of us five.

I took a grape to my lips and looked around while bitting it, believing I could look like a greek godess as I flicked my hair off my shoulder. They were talking between them, the popular group of girls and boys, but it was true, I could feel a faint glance from some of them. Rome, the new kid who had voluntarily admitted to thinking I was pretty, now had these dismissive glances he would give me if we ever looked each other in the eye, as if that could erase the fact that it happened or that I was indeed pretty. I thought it was very petty of him. Also, MJ's ex girlfriends were clearly talking about us. Mia and Brody were still "together", which just meant they were always next to each other, while he tried talking to her and she ignored him. They were suppossed to be a "cool couple" but i'm sure no one really thought so, not even them.

I didn't tell my friends about him putting his jacket over her shoulders during Disco Night but it crossed my mind for a second when I saw them there. "They look so dumb" I thought to myself with a shake of my head. I actually hadn't even mentioned Brody to either MJ or Poppy. It was rare that I would articulate even a sentence about those type of feelings. Just cause I thought they weren't important. They were not these intense die-hard sentiments, so I didn't want anyone to make a big deal out of them. I would talk about them if it felt fun. Like at the sleepover. But usually I would just lazily drop them somewhere inside me with my careless hands, let them hang around in the back of my mind, like a receipt you've been meaning to either paste on a scrapbook or toss in the trash, that ends up falling between the wall and your desk. Like, I just couldn't find a reason to recount that interaction at the camp ? Maybe if I liked him, I would. But all I was doing at this point was keeping tabs on Brody cause I had loved the spark between us at age 5. I shook my head thinking I was being stupid, finishing another grape with a laugh.

"NO way I am more dramatic than either of you!" said Ella sounding categorical.

"You sure??" I asked just to take the piss on her.

"Ohh, you? You can actually take my place in this drama podium, Rees"

"Shut up" we all were giggling, even after she threw a bitten grape at me which was criminal cause they were too good.

"Why is Rick coming this way?" Said Olivia. One of the basketball dudes, Rick, was heading towards us. It came like a slap in the face:

"Poppy, you're a whore"

The world paused for a split second after hearing that word. I looked at her, Poppy, to find a half smirk on her face.

"Yea? and what are you, dumbass?" asked her, with a laugh.

"Oh wait! Wait... we don't give a shit" said Ella cutting him before he could even come up with a comeback. I saw him trying to formulate words on his lips.

"Cool. Bye Rick!" I added before he could insult anyone again. I was glad Poppy was chill about it, but I was ready to fight. We all waved at him with sarcastic smiles and said "bye-bye" almost in unison which made us laugh. And he had to leave cause what else could he do?

"What the fuck?" asked Ella.

"It was them" said MJ.

"You think they sent him?" thought Liv.

"Idk. Could've been the basketball guys" commented Elizabeth.

"Well, either way, that was fucking mean." Stated Poppy with an undertone that wasn't too light.

I had been sure because of her reaction, Poppy didn't care being called a whore. She actually got that constantly. But by the look in her eyes now, I understood she was just good at laughing pretty and cursing at people when she had to.

"Whatever." Ella passed the tupper ware box around and lovingly played with Poppy's hair for a second. We all knew. So we shit-talked everyone and played to be mermaids again.

[kinetic-elaboration]

October 19: Writing Plans for the Rest of the Year

I had a very nice autumnal hour sitting outside the new Starbucks with a pumpkin spice latte and pumpkin bread after work. The Starbucks is in such a weird location: it itself is pretty adorable but it's literally right on the road and there's a fair amount of traffic, which is kind of disorienting. I realize that sounds very normal but my other coffee shops are in pedestrian only and partially closed off streets so I'm really not used to cars so close.

Anyway, I did some thinking about where I am writing wise. I can see a clear path ahead for about a month, then it gets murkier.

Here's where I am/the plan coming up.

Troped Horror Exchange: I've written about a third of this, probably a bit less. That's not great but I'm planning/hoping to get a big chunk done this weekend. Overall I'm not really worried about not finishing, I'm worried about not having time to do anything ELSE. I won't love if this is my sole contribution this Halloween but still the most important thing is honoring my commitments so it will remain prio #1 until it's finished. No matter what, this will be done by the time November rolls around.

Halloween Ficlets: I really, really wanted to write ficlets this year and I still do. I'm going to try. 'Hauntings' won my little poll, so I've been following that idea, brainstorming, and planning some things out. As I said, I think there's a possibility I'll need to go all the way to Halloween with Troped. Even if I don't, I'd still be writing these last minute, so most likely optimistic scenario is they all post on Halloween or over the 30th/31st. I've basically decided that if I start the series I'll let myself go into the beginning of November to finish it. I did that in 2019; it's unideal but fine. But if I haven't even started or if it's going really poorly, I'll scrap the whole thing. Again, in one way or another, this will be off my to-do list as of the beginning of November.

Make a Lot of Money and Feel Dead Inside: The plan was always to get back to this after I finish the Halloween stuff, make it my first priority, and finish it "as soon as possible." I've firmed that up a little bit. I want to use this project for CalmWriMo and set myself the completely reasonable and attainable goal of finishing it by the end of the month. I only have 10 scenes left to write. There's a lot of editing still, but the writing is, I think, not too bad. I think it might even be possible that I finish with time to spare (will I regret typing that? lol). But basically, this is my November project.

...And now it's late November/early December. Here's the thing about this part of the year. First off, I have a huge Thanksgiving break, so potentially a lot of writing time there. And I'm going to see my family for Christmas as usual, so there is free time there as well. But on the other hand, it's dark, it's cold, it's busy.... I don't know. It's hard to predict how much writing energy I'll have.

And the second thing: it's a heavy 'event time.' Last year I had literally zero events for the first time in years and I anticipate 2023 will be the same. I still become very tempted to do, like, personal holiday events like a ficmas or an end of year thing but LBR fluff is not my strong suit as a writer. I can do it, I'm not being disparaging about myself, but I don't really care to churn out happy, sappy, romantic, conflict-less narratives. So, objectively, it would be better to just go back to the WIPs at this point.

But I like events, I like the holidays, I like special things. I don't know. I'll probably mull that over more starting in November, if I want to do SOMETHING, maybe a look to next year's projects or like some small fics or something, I don't know, or if I just want to go back to some other project to get a head start on 2024.

I like having a plan ahead of time because I really get stuck with the tyranny of choice. Like, I can't double think anything in my life. I have to just do things without thinking or I'll cease to want to do them. Writing included. So I don't want to finish Money and go like ??? what now? But I also don't want to plan too far ahead and tell myself I have to do or should do such-and-such a project and then I'm not remotely in that mood when the end of November rolls around. So.

But it will be nice to kind of have a blank slate again? Like a blank slate of my 50-ish ideas? I don't know. Money came out of nowhere and hit me in the face and I love it and am proud of it but it also just completely took over my life for about 9 weeks? And now I'm frantically trying to make horror season work. So really the last time I thought about the WIPs was mid-July. It has...been a while.

[justtryingtolosesomeweight]

ugh, guess I have to get used to this new post editor. What shit. It makes my words too big. Or whatever, something about it bothers me. neutral but quickly getting annoyed and negative. Was happy five minutes ago but my brother asked me if I had any plans today and for some reason that pissed me off. Like I do anything, but on the same note, I just usually want to go to my room and listen to music and not be bothered. Daydreaming or not. Sigh, so that the thing I wanted to write for is... essentially over. And, no, I didn't write anything of note or submit anything. I knew it would happen and I'm still disappointed. I'm trying to puzzle out why this happens every time. Am I too hard on myself? Did I just fail so many times that I put too much pressure on succeeding? Or maybe it's because it's just me. I mean, my friend encouraged me a little, she said I was a good writer and that I would do well but it's not, like, acknowledged. I could just never talk about it again. And I would feel weird about it since I haven't responded and don't wanna just be like hey can you, a very busy person, proofread. Or maybe that's me just trying to give up. Anyhow, what does having friends feel like again? My last in person friendship was, you know, just not that great. It wasn't bad but they were bad at cues and I was bad at talking and we just fundamentally liked things differently. Hmm, I wonder if it wasn't just me and I really had someone to talk to that I could get things done. Since I try to do things by myself all the time, but where do I find courage to go on if all I'm expected to do is get results? Like, everyone praises me for a good gpa but they don't see the ways I have to torture every assignment out of myself. Sigh, these are the things I should bring to a counselor but I really don't want to see one until I'm a lower weight 'cause... well. Also, why do I feel like when I eat enough I just give myself energy to be depressed? LOL- at least when I undereat I'm passionate about something.also my wrist and hands hurt... Hmm... is it possible it's anxiety? Like they specifically start aching usually when I'm at my laptop and I'm faced with the fact I haven't done anything and filled with despair. Lol.

I'm using lol a lot to represent that I'm devastated once again. Now I'm sad that I'm devastated since I did know I would give up. Don't know what I really though would change. Sigh. Sigh. Sighing. Don't really deserve a reward but do new blades constitute a reward, who knows? Thump, my dog so funny when he's tired. Long- no sparing today- I'm sad and don't like multiple posts venting. Really, what the hell am I doing? It's to my knowledge that some people have a passion, whether it's work or a hobby. I can't finish anything so I'm pretty dismal about my hobbies- wish there was just something to get this brain working. Why can these fingers type this but not the thing I wanted? Ah, just remembered I'll be saying these words again when I vent about my assignments. School is torture but there's no other options <3. Times like this you wonder why someone let you live like this for so long. very angry but can't ask why since already know why. Hm........................... Ending now.

[shimbongulus]

Finding Yourself Chapter 5: Shots

Asriel followed the flood of other students out into the lobby of the Gerson building as he glanced at his quiz grade. 88 - a high B. He was happy, but he figured he could probably improve a bit on it with some effort.

There were a few things crowding his mind, though. An assignment for math, a paper for English.

The succession issue - always the succession. He didn’t know if he was ready, or if he would ever be ready, to take up the crown. So much power and so many responsibilities - he could scarcely navigate a conversation with the barista at Sweet’s, let alone a high-stakes diplomatic negotiation with Denver or Washington D.C.

The mere idea of it sent him clutching for his phone as he felt his throat tighten somewhat. He hadn’t heard anything from the groupchat in a week, and he hoped he could get something, anything at all just by staring at his phone.

He stared at the groupchat, his last two messages from yesterday sitting unanswered

“Asriel: Mom and Dad got into again over when to plant the marigolds lol.” Sent, 8:58 A.M. “Asriel: guys?” Sent, 4:33 P.M.

He tried to get his breathing under control as he felt it starting to slip - then his phone buzzed, despite the groupchat having no new messages.

It pulled him out of the panic, the pain of what was coming as he looked at the new notification at the top of his screen.

“MK: yo dude sed is having a rager tonite wana come? Haha”

Asriel raised a brow at his phone, but he knew his answer as he typed it.

“Asriel: Yea sure! Who’s Sed though?”

He anxiously stroked the side of his phone as he waited for a reply from the armless raptor. His mind wandered as he did so - how did MK’s telekinesis work on a phone? He knew his paws could sometimes get clumsy, and he often tapped with the tips of them, or his claws for more precision. He made a mental note to ask MK as his phone buzzed.

“MK: oh it’s sigma epsilon delta campus fraternity.”

“Asriel: Oh! They can probably throw awesome ragers. Everybody knows about frat parties lol. Count me in.” “MK: cool it starts at like 6”

“Asriel: Will be there.”

Asriel’s thoughts continued to race as he walked into Sweet’s. The thought of the frat party unsettled him somewhat, he couldn’t lie to himself. It was an environment he hadn’t been in before.  

He tucked himself away in a corner with a chai latte, pulling himself into a dining chair as he pulled up the math assignment. It was, by all appearances, a short assignment, but the formulas boggled Asriel.

Greek letters, numbers interacting in a way that Asriel had a hard time coping with. He quietly knew that Chara would be able to blast through this in the span of a few minutes.

Their absence became that much more pointed in that moment, it felt wrong that Chara would not be present to help guide and help Asriel as they had been for so long. For so long they had helped mentor him on school nights, for so long they and Frisk had helped guide him through his struggles. And they were now elsewhere.

He wiped the tears beginning to form as he hunkered down and tried his best on the assignment. It took the better part of thirty minutes for what ought to have been a ten-minute assignment, but he finished it.

He exited through the side door, facing a long treeline that sat next to the Gerson Boom building. There sat a wonderful path through it, and finding himself with some spare time and a mind that ached with overwork and sadness, he strode towards it.

The act of carrying himself forward, step by step, let him focus on the beauty of his surroundings. The sky was a wonderful blue, and he could take this instant, at least, to recognize that while he had his problems, he was in a better place, in many ways, than he was as a flower.

He could feel the ache for Chara, they were alive, just somewhere else. He knew he had a loving family at home, his mother and father, whose family had healed by some miraculous accident of the universe.

He had his physical body, his feet bounded off of the concrete sidewalk as he stepped forward. His arms swung by his side, his fur ruffling in the slight chill of an early autumn breeze.

It didn’t fix everything. The problems still remained after he left, but he felt less crushed by them, less buried by them, like a pocket of air opened up.

It gave him a clear idea that he could be all right, somehow, that he had to find a way forward. As odd as it seemed, he began to feel as if the coming rager was his chance to fight his way forward.

Or, as it were, drink his way forward. And he resolved to do just that - have a good time in spite of his internal demons, and by ignoring them, they would perhaps simply leave.

He pulled himself towards his car as he tapped out a text to his parents, periodically pausing to watch his path through the parking lot.

“Asriel: MK invited me to a party. Will be home later.”

As he opened the drivers’ side door and huddled in, he pulled out his phone as it gave a “Ding!”

“Asgore: Have fun and be safe!”

“Toriel: Make sure you do not drive inebriated. If you need your father or I to pick you up, we will come.”

“Asgore: It’ll likely be me - Tori has never been the best night driver ]X)”

Toriel replied with an eye-rolling emoji, “At least my horns do not scrape the roof.”

Asriel chuckled as he tapped out a reply.

“Asriel: Will take care. Love you guys!”

He focused on the road as he put his phone down, pulling out of the parking lot and turning left. He made his way down towards a side road which melded slightly with New Snowdin. He saw various greek letters, giving him a bit of a flashback to his earlier troubles with his math homework.

What kind of people would be at the party? How would they react to MK and him?

(Read more...)

[rubberbandballqueen]

//now has an Official Certificate stating that i type at 82 wpm

[shes-dope-asf]

Teacher's Pet

pairing: tasm!peter parker x black female!reader

Summary: Your Professor catches you and your bestie passing notes about him during class and tells you to meet him in his office after hours. You think your going to get "punished" but your all for what he has in mind

Warnings: Dom Peter, Cursing, Dirty Talk, Slight Degradation, Unprotected Sex (Wrap It Up Kiddos), Smut, Ass Play, Something that could be considered oral? Idk lol

You sat in your Chemistry 101 class listening to your best friend Ashley gossip about what guy she's fucking this week while you waited for the professor to walk in. This was your favorite class. Not because you loved science, but because of the most sexiest man ever teaching the class, Professor Peter Parker.

Just as you turned your head to tell Ashley to shut up, in walks the man on the hour. You stare him up and down and bite the tip of your pen top. Your eyes briefly connect before Ashley clears her throat and whisper in your ear.

"Damn Y/N, stop drooling over Professor Parker you slut."

You turn your head and scowl at her. "Your one to talk." Both of you look at each other and bust out laughing. Professor Parker clears his throat and looks in your directions signaling he's about to begin his lecture.

"Okay class, today we're going to learn about the different types of Chemical Bonds."

Everyone one in class lets out an annoyed grunt. Everyone but you. Truth is science has always been your favorite subject, but when you have eye candy like Professor Parker teaching you, you can't help but pay attention.

Class seems to go on progressively slow, not that you mind or anything, it's just hard to focus because every time you look up from writing down a note, or highlighting something in your book Professor Parker is staring at you. You duck your head down quickly to cover the warmth spreading in your cheeks.

Ashley slips a note on your desk and winks at you as you open it.

"Bitch! He totally wants to fuck you!! What are you waiting on? Do you not see the way he keeps looking at you?"

You look at Ashley and roll your eyes and begin writing your response out.

"First of all, he could be looking at you. Secondly, shut up!! Even if i did want to fuck him, I can't!! He's our Professor!!"

Just as you go to slide the note back, Professor Parker grabs the note from you and whispers in your ear. "I'd like to have a word with you in my office this evening, say 4:00." He walks away stuffing the note in his pants pocket.

After class is dismissed you and Ashley venture into the cafeteria so you can catch a quick dinner before your meeting. You scarf down what you can eat and give Ashley a hug before you make journey across campus for your meeting with Professor Parker.

You make it outside his office with 2 minutes to spare before 4:00. You take a deep breath and try and collect your nerves before you proceed to knock on his door.

"Come in!" The voice behind the door yells after you knock. As you walk into the office, Professor Parker is sitting behind his desk grading some papers.

"Close the door behind you and take a seat please."

You close to door and venture into his office and sit in one of the chairs in front of his desk. You sit in comfortable silence as you wait for him to get done grading papers. Upon finishing his grading, he puts the papers in his desk and reaches in his pocket and puts the note from you and Ashley on his desk before leaning back in his chair.

You bite on your bottom lip nervously as you look at the note on his desk and then back on him. He raises an eyebrow at you and smirks.

You look down at your thighs in your dress. "Are you going to turn us in Professor Parker?" Your voice is barely above a whisper.

"I should Y/N, I really should, but what kind of Professor would i be if i didn't give my student what she wanted?"

You look up at him and stare at him with wide eyes. Your mind is racing a mile a minute trying to comprehend what he just said. Word won't even form in your mouth, you just look at him dumbfounded and continue to blink in disbelief at his words.

Professor Parker gets up from his chair and makes his way around the desk and stops just in front on you, leaning back against the desk. He caresses the side of your face in his hand.

"You don't think that I notice every time you come to my class your wearing a dress, but wear leggings and sweaters to your other classes? I pay attention to everything Y/N, more than you think."

His hand travels down from your face to your throat and he gives it a little squeeze before bending down and whispering in your ear.

"I bet when you leave my class, you can't wait to go home and think about me while you play with that pretty little pussy of yours. Am i right baby?"

You bite down on your lip to stop the moan rising up your throat and clench your thighs together as you look up at him and nod.

"I thought so, be a good girl for me and bend over my desk and I'll give you what you been fantasizing about baby."

You don't have to be told twice, you quickly stand and make your way behind his desk, causing him to chuckle at your eagerness as you almost fall. You watch as he walks over to the door and locks it before he makes his way back to you.

He steps behind you and begins running a hand up and down your spine, while his other one grips on your ass.

He leans over and whispers in your ear, causing chills to run down your spine, making you arch up into him.

"Can you spread your legs for me baby?"

You do as your told as spread your legs. He lifts your dress up over your ass and groans at the sight in front of him.

"Fuck Y/N, I knew you didn't wear panties. I've beat my dick so many times just thinking about this sight right here when I'm home alone thinking of you."

Professor Parker just confessed he beats his dick to you when he's home alone, and if that isn't sexy, you don't know what is. Your quickly pulled out of your thoughts when you feel him drop to his knees and press his tongue flat against your clit and licks a long strip from your clit to your ass in one languid motion.

"Fuck Y/N, tastes better than I imagined."

He quickly gets up off his knees and has you missing his mouth from that one lick, you're about to protest, but you're pulled out of your thoughts when you hear him fondling with his belt. In one swift motion he pulls his pants and boxers down and swipes his dick through your wet folds causing you to moan out at the pleasure.

"Damn Y/N, your soaking just from that one little lick, wait until i can devour your pussy the way I want, but for right now I'm going to fuck you like a slut since you want to act like one in class."

He pushes his entire length in you without warning, not even giving you a second to adjust before he started his assault on your pussy. He's grunting and moaning causing you to moan out at the pleasure he's delivering upon your body.

"Your gripping me so tight baby, I can tell you wanted this as bad as I did, so daddy's going to give it to you."

You clench around his dick as he continues to fuck you and talk so dirty to you. If he keeps it up at this rate, you're going to be coming all over his dick.

Professor Parker reaches up your body without stopping his assault and pushes a finger in your mouth as far as he can, causing you to moan and gag around his finger as he fucks your mouth and gets it wet.

"I can't wait to hear you make those pretty sounds around my dick soon baby."

He removes his finger from your mouth with a string of drool following. He uses the finger you just wet up to play around your hole, before pushing his finger deep inside your ass.

Feeling the way your pussy is gripping his dick and the way your ass is gripping his finger, Professor Parker doesn't know how much longer he's going to last. He reaches around with his free hand and begins rubbing your clit.

"Fuck Professor, I mean sir, if you keep that up I'm going to cum soon."

Those are the words he was waiting to hear. With that he begins fucking into you harder and faster, while he sped up on your clit.

You don't know when it hit you, you just know it did. The feeling started at your feet, then you felt it in your spine, then all over. You felt the coil in your stomach start to grow tighter and tighter until it just SNAPPED. You felt your vision go white, and you swore you seen stars as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. You came all over Professor Parker with a loud scream followed by a string a curse words.

Not long after you, he was coming also. Something about being the one to have your body like this set his orgasm off like a bottle rocket.

Thick ropes of his cum painted your insides while he fucked y'all through y'all orgasms. When things became too sensitive you feel over on the desk and he collapsed on top of you.

He removed his dick from inside of you, and you both let out a moan at the sensitivity. He looked down and bit his lip and groaned at the sight in front of him. He used two fingers to shove his cum along with yours back in your pussy before placing them in his mouth and moaning at the taste.

He pulls your dress down and helps you stand up before turning you around and giving you a passionate kiss full of nothing but teeth, lips, and tongues.

"Now you're going to be a good girl, and walk back to your dorm across campus with my cum leaking out of you, and when you make it home, I want a picture of that pussy with my cum leaking out, and if your a good girl and do what I say, I'll eat your pussy after class tomorrow"