#fire meet gasoline tag

[5ivebyfive]

Trimberly insta, ft. fire meet gasoline

[ask-sebastian]

Hope I’m not too late!

Couldn’t write in earlier because started a new job working with special needs children and from being terrified beforehand that I’d do something wrong. No concentration to make a list or two 😆

Congratulations on the new job!! You do noble work. 🖤

Fire Meet Gasoline - Sia

[peachesofteal]

Simple Math / Part Three

Simple Math masterlist

Ghost/Soap/female reader 4.3k words - AO3 Warnings-tags: 18+ no smut but this fic contains mature themes. Medical inaccuracies, hospitals, medical procedures, medications, nurse!reader. Feelings of fear and anxiety. Flirting. Emotional hurt/comfort. Panic attack. PTSD. Comfort. "You'll be with him?"

“-nna let ‘im die out here-“

“-is too risky without adequate-“ 

Johnny is drowning in a sea of shattered voices, whispers of words that sound like they might be coming from Gaz, or Price, hushed prayers and promises, jargon he doesn’t understand washing over him from unfamiliar, clinical mouths. 

It’s overwhelming. He can hardly get his eyes to open, and when he does, they stay half shut for what feels like hours, even though he knows, logically, it’s mere seconds. 

He’s no longer strapped into a backboard, but a bed, and the ceiling is not metal and rivets, but white and canvas, voices competing with the constant sound of beeping. 

“Soap.” Price leans into his line of sight, hat gone, exhausted. He’s holding a sat phone, the one they usually carry during missions in one hand, a file folder in another. He looks his age, Johnny thinks, for the first time in his career. Looks like he’s spent eons in combat, like he hasn’t had a full night’s rest in a decade. “John. You’re in the hospital on base.” At the use of his government name, Johnny tries to straighten on instinct. The soft, floating feelings he’s been having for the past who knows how long have faded, and his body is starting to feel like it’s been pumped with gasoline, and then lit on fire. From the inside. “Are you with me, Sergeant?” He tries to vocalize, tries to say yes, or nod, but can hardly get his neck to work, bones and ligaments and everything in him screaming in agony. “They want to take you in a flight for life, get you home to a top hospital. Simon's already agreed, but he- he wants to speak with you.” Price wrenches his fingers open and lifts the clunky satellite phone to his face. “I rang him, on the emergency line, at home. Just… you need to-“ he stops, chest heaving with a desperate breath, an indulgence of emotion that Johnny has never seen. His captain wants to tell him- you need to say goodbye, just in case. But he can’t find the words, and Johnny can’t make it fit in his head, the reality, the stark reminder that he could not be here, in a moment. Or an hour. A day. “Open your eyes, John. Stay awake.” 

“Johnny.” The Manchester accent crackles through the receiver. Johnny can almost see him, cell pressed to his face, pacing in the living room. He wonders if he’s got the fireplace lit, if it’s chilly now that it's turning to winter, if there’s been frost on the windows of their little house. If Simon is wearing a pair of sweatpants, if he’s got the television on as he tries to make dinner. “Johnny. Sit rep.” The status check comes through harsh, but the truth is tucked away beneath the grit. Fear. Life altering, heart breaking fear drenches every syllable that spills from his partner. 

Pain sizzles through his muscles, across his brain, but he swallows it, shoves it down into a dark hole for another minute. 

“Pretty banged up.” 

“They’re going to lift you to a hospital,” He thinks he knew that. “and you’re goin’ be alright. I’ll meet you there.” 

“Ah love ye, Si.” It’s all he can say. All he can think about. The excruciating agony that is radiating through his body robs him of everything else. 

“I love you too. Hang on.” Johnny grinds his jaw, blowing short breaths through his nose to try to control his pain response, and then holds his breath when soft babbles echo through the phone. “It’s Da, Pen. It’s Da. Can you say Da?” 

“Da?” Penny mimics her dad, and Johnny wonders if they’re sitting on the couch, Penelope tucked up against Simon’s chest, wispy curls tickling just below his nose as she climbs all over him like a jungle gym. 

“Ma wee lamb.” Johnny whispers. “Ah love ye, Pen.” There’s more babbling, half strung together words, more than appropriate for a fourteen-month-old, and Johnny’s temples shine with tears that drip from the corners of his eyes. There’s talking, around him, people bustling back and forth. A hand brushes against skin, sharp pinch squeezing along the inside of his arm. 

“Can you say, I love you?” Simon encourages, but Johnny knows it’s a lost cause. 

“When she’s old enough to understand, ye tell her Ah loved her, loved her so much. Ye an’ her, is all I ever wished fer.”

“Stop.” Simon breathes. “You’re going to be fine.” 

There’s another poke in his arm, someone lighting a fire in his veins, and he loses the battle to his eyes once more. 

Your neck grumbles in protest when you try to twist it, working out tight muscle and tendon, rolling it across your shoulders and down, back and forth, over and over again.

You should go home. 

You know you should. It’s two hours past seven, you should already be home. Should already be in your flat, showering the workday off and crawling into bed. You could be having a tea, snuggled up in your sweatpants, moving playing on low in the background. Warm, safe. Nearly asleep.

Johnny twitches beside you. His fingers clench in the blankets and then relax, face smoothing out in his dreams. The mask is gone, replaced with the cannula that loops beneath his nose, and the monitor beeps in soothing, reassuring, stable tones. One chime right after another, relaying his vitals to where you sit in Simon’s chair, feet slung over the side, kindle in your lap.

You made a promise. 

And even without that promise, for some reason, you couldn’t just leave Johnny here to wake up alone. The idea of him coming to and being confused, or scared, again, made your stomach twist uncomfortably. Even before you promised Simon to stay earlier, you already knew.

You wouldn’t be leaving.

“He’s had a seizure.” Simon’s eyes widen above the mask and then flatten into something harder, something almost distrusting. “Neuro’s done an exam and they’re of the opinion there will be no long-term deficits, but we’ll need to wait until he wakes to be sure. They’re still trying to figure out what caused it, but most likely it's a result from surgery.” He moves to shoulder by you, no doubt trying to beeline back to Johnny’s room, but you hold your hand up with a pause. “I can’t let you go back in there yet.” 

“Why not?” 

“He’s not awake.” 

“I don’t-“

“Simon, this is the ICU. I don’t know who or what strings you pulled to even be allowed to sit with him in there twenty-four seven, but it’s not the norm. You won’t be allowed back in that room until we are sure he is stable.” You don’t tell him that you don’t want him to be there when Johnny wakes in case there are deficits, that you’re trying to save him from the pain, the heartbreak, of seeing things that patient’s loved ones are not meant to see. 

He regards you silently, and you fidget under the scrutiny, waiting for him to speak, trying to ignore how your mouth is going dry. This isn’t the first he’s watched you like this, stared at you like he’s trying to pick you apart, and you swallow your grimace until the long moment passes, his voice low, gritty with stress. Exhaustion. 

“I’m supposed to go home today for a bit. I… don’t want to leave ‘im.” 

“You can still go. He’s sleeping for now, and when he wakes, they’ll have to do some more tests that you won’t be allowed in the room for anyway.” He looks down the hallway towards Johnny’s room, before his eyes find yours, heavy with grief, indecision. 

“You’ll be with him?” He can’t hide the hopeful inflection at the end of his question, his need for a light in the dark of this situation. 

“I-“ The thought didn’t occur to you, to not be there. You imagined you’d wait until Johnny was cleared by neuro and Simon was allowed back in the room, but the morning has dragged on, and he’s been sleeping peacefully. There’s been no desire to wake him unnecessarily. “Yes. I’ll stay with him. I promise.”  

“He go home?” Johnny’s voice, scratchy from sleep and medication and everything else, startles you from a half doze, spine straightening into a rod before you’re leaping to your feet, leaning over his prone figure.

“You’re awake.” You find his good hand, slipping two fingers into his grip. “Can you squeeze my hand?” When he does, tightly, more strength in it than you were expected, you give him an honest, happy smile, and retreat to the end of the bed, flipping up his blanket to poke at the bottom of his feet. “Can you feel that?”

“Aye.”

“And this?”

“Aye.” He huffs at you, impatient. “Did he go home?” You sigh in response, hand on your hip.

“Yes.”

“Finally. Been tellin’ him he had to. The man’s back ‘s not made to sleep sittin’ up.”

“Well, I’m sure he didn’t want to leave. I told him I’d sit with you.” You reach over to press the page button, looking intentionally away from where those bright blue eyes track you, sweet and soft and open, lips slightly parted. “How’s your pain? I’m not on the clock any longer, so I can’t page the neurologist, but they’ll have come and do a few tests.”

“Ye wanted to sit with me, pretty girl?” Your face gets hot, blood pooling beneath your skin, pit of your stomach liquifying into something honeyed and potent that flows through your veins until you swear you can feel the room getting warmer.

“How’s your pain?” you repeat your question, words dumb on your tongue.

“A five.” You raise an eyebrow. “Alright, a seven. And a half.” The days nurse knocks with perfect timing, all hustle and bustle, bright and cheery, and asks Johnny the same questions, keeping up a perfect stream of small talk between you and Johnny until Neuro is standing at the foot of his bed, and you’re excusing yourself.

“Okay, I’m-“

“Dinnae leave.” He protests, voice quiet. Your stomach lurches at the vulnerability there, and you’re quick to reassure him.

“I’m just going to get a tea.” You promise, even though you know he’ll probably be half loopy by the time you’re back, and the dayshift nurse gives you a nod, acknowledgement of his state, an understanding that she’ll be here with him.

Not an hour later, your pocket chimes with a text from the dayshifter as you half sip your tea, letting you know that Johnny’s exam is done, and as you pass her in the hallway, she gives you verbal confirmation of what you were hoping for: his brain function is normal. He’ll have to go for CT later, but she’s just given him another dosage for pain management. You yawn in the middle of her pass-on, and she tells you that she'll keep an eye on him. You can go. 

She's not wrong. 

You need to go to bed. 

You know your presence at your patient's bedside won't be viewed as unprofessional, since others have done it in far less severe situations, but the pendulum your emotions swing on every time you step foot in that room leaves you with a sinking feeling that's starting to crawl across your skin.

You wanted this. You wanted to stay with him. 

Simon asked you stay with him. 

Yeah, but for how long? He cannot expect you to spend all day here. You have to go to bed. Are you just going to leave him all alone? Are you going to wait for Simon to come back? 

The dread spiral is easily answered when you slide open the glass door and lay eyes on the very handsome man from the other night, the younger one from the chair vigil, now sitting beside Johnny, the two of them softly chuckling.

When Johnny spots you, he manages to fire off your name as a half-effort introduction, more than expected considering his slowly slipping state of consciousness.

“I’m Kyle. Soap an’ I work together.” Soap? Who is Soap? 

“She doesnae know me b’ Soap, only calls me Johnny.” He explains your confused look, to which Kyle raises an eyebrow.

“Wow. Letting your nurse call you Johnny, eh? Simon better-“

“Ach, stop.” He rolls his eyes, but sleep tugs his lids downward.

“It’s nice to meet you.” You give Johnny and his monitor a once over, catching yourself on his sweet, sleepy gaze, flushed face and lazy smile, before directing your attention back to Kyle. “I told Simon, I’d sit with him for a bit before he got back, but…”

“I’m here in his place.” Kyle explains, motioning to the chair, and you breathe a small sigh of relief. You will get to go home and get some sleep, after all. 

There’s a woman with a confused look on her face just outside the elevator. She looks exhausted, skin raw under her eyes, clutching a baby who’s maybe a year, or a bit older, in her arms, glancing up and down the hall before she spots you.

Fuck. You’re still wearing your scrubs. 

“Hi.” You smile, and she visibly relaxes, obviously relieved. The baby tucks her face into the woman’s chest like she’s shy, coyly looking at you from corner of her eye. “You look lost.”

“I’m looking for the nurse’s station. My husband was supposed to meet me here but he’s running late and I-“

“It’s all the way down, take the first left, and it will be at the end of that hallway.”

“Oh my god, thank you so much.” She glances at your ID, punctuating her gratitude with your name, and you give her another smile, leaning to extend towards the baby as well.

��So cute.” You tell her, pressing the elevator button with a ding.

“Cute. But she’s a little terror, especially when she’s missing her Da.” She grumbles, and then waves, setting off against the white tile as you laugh to yourself. Pretty much sums kids up. Cute little terrors.

A week passes easily, beds and rooms changing over, room two sixty-eight remaining a constant. Johnny takes his battles on the chin, burn debridement on his side, casting for his wrist, removal of his chest tube, a third surgery. 

“He’s a fighter.” Simon tells you one night in the dark after he’s slipped off to sleep. “Always has been. He's strong. Spirited.”

“I can see.” You agree, holding out the extra blanket you’ve pulled from a cabinet. When Simon takes it, his eyes meet yours, something soft shining in them, and you give him a smile in return. 

“Thank you.” He murmurs. “For everything.”

A few days later, you’re surprised, and secretly pleased, to find Simon in the café.

He’s standing in front of the counter, paying for what you think might a baked good of some kind, sweet lady behind the register eyeing him up suspiciously as he deposits the note into her hand, and you stay on the outside of the doors, lingering in the hallway, watching.

At least he’s eating something. He’s still wearing the mask, and although it’s not uncommon, especially in a hospital setting, it does give you pause. Does he wear it all the time? Is it just because this is a hospital? He observes the room, steadily taking in all of the people meandering about, some eating, some standing, making their selections, engaging in conversation, and you notice how his hand slides to the back of his neck, distractedly rubbing the hair at his nape before he makes his escape, long legs eating up the distance between him and the door, him and… you.

“Hi.” You squeak when he steps into the hall, turning the corner to find you standing there like a deer in headlights, your water bottle clutched in one hand, phone in the other. His head tilts, eyes narrowed, and you manage to give him a half smile. “Getting something to eat?”

“It’s for Johnny.” He notes. “I ah, had something to eat earlier. When I was home.” Oh, good. Being in the hospital twenty-four seven isn’t healthy for anyone. Not even patients. 

“Cool.” Cool? What is this, a pub? You swallow your embarrassing, awkward acknowledgement, breezing past the word like it didn’t happen. “Well, I’m about to badge in, so I’ll see you in a bit?” He nods, eyes still trained on your face, and you beat back the heat that’s spreading through your body like a fever when they drift down to your shoulders, and then to your badge.

“Cute sticker.” He points to where it’s clipped to your top, shiny bunny sticker from a patient’s child still there, holographic print sparkling in the dusk.

“Oh, thanks. Another patient of mine has a little kid. I was hanging out with him for a bit yesterday.”

“Suits you.” His gaze dips downward, glancing over the curve of your hip, plush from the swell of your ass, taut pull of your scrubs all of the sudden feeling too tight, too stretched across your waist, and you scramble to make sense of his comment. 

“A bunny?” Your brows raise in disbelief, confusion, but he only nods, head tilted slightly, posture broad. Your brain turns over, frantically trying to think of a response, something clever, but he continues to talk, clearing his throat with a question.

“What do you call a line of rabbits hopping backwards?” Huh? 

“What?”

“A receding hare-line.” Wait. What? Is he… joking with you? Your mouth drops into a little o of part surprise, part confusion, before you squint at him in disbelief.

“Oh… my god. That’s…”

“’s not that bad.” His eyes crinkle at the corners, giving you the impression that he might be smiling beneath the mask, making you wonder if you’re hallucinating.

“It’s pretty bad.” You croak, nervous laughter bubbling up in the back of your throat. “Well, I… uh-“ His phone dings, pulling his focus to the screen, and he swipes out something quickly with his thumb.

“I’ll see you up there.” He jerks his head towards the elevator, and you mumble out a mild, flabbergasted reply.

“Alright... yeah.”

Your first break comes up fast. Your morning, everyone’s evening, is busy, with a code, a tricky vent, and a needy, elderly man in two fifty-two. It goes from busy to worse, an argument with the pharmacy heating your blood, spurring anger through your veins and you have to physically bite your tongue to keep from berating the poor tech at the window. Useless. You seethe in your mind all the way back up to your floor, frustration driving you to seek solace, eager to escape the eyes of the hospital, running away from the possibility of being noticed.

But supply closet 2b is occupied, a frazzled resident huffing into a pillow in the back, hyperventilating with tear-stained cheeks.

Without even fully realizing, you find yourself inside two sixty-eight, Simon’s sharp eyes falling upon you with scrutiny. He looks at Johnny’s monitor like something might be amiss, relaxed posture straightening into something tense, structured. There’s a card game in progress on the swivel tray table over Johnny’s lap, the glaring reality of your interruption, and you blanche.

You’re immediately incredibly embarrassed. What are you even doing in here? 

“Miss me already?” Johnny coos, beaming, and your throat feels dry. He’s feeling the best he has since he got here, albeit not great, still in awful pain, still staring down the barrel of more surgeries, but the pain medication from earlier is working its way through his system, and you’re happy to see it’s taking the edge off it all for him, allowing him comfort and conversation with his partner.

“My um… usual break spot is occupied?” You don’t know why you phrase it as a question, it just comes naturally. Like you’re seeking permission. Agreement.

“Ye want to sit with us? While ye eat?” Johnny asks, somewhat pointing to your yogurt cup, and you shrug, but Simon motions to the extra chair, the one that now sits on the other side of the bed, across from him. Guess facilities finally brought down that recliner you requested. 

“Would… would that be alright?”

Johnny looks to Simon, and Simon nods. Slowly.

Your yogurt goes down easy, light chit chat bouncing around the room, Johnny nodding in and out with drawn out answers to your questions, until a noise startles you from the chair, pushing you onto your feet to peer out the door.

It’s a man, yelling, screaming, from a room down the hall, not from sadness or despair, but rage, and your mind goes haywire when security is paged over the PA system.

Deep breath. 

This happens sometimes. Patients, or loved ones, become disruptive. Secrets and lies all come out in the wash in a hospital. Custody agreements, battles, DNRs, last wills and testaments, any of these things are a perfect tinder box. One match, and it all goes up.

A siren blares.

“Code black, code black.” echoes through the hospital, each room on every floor, down every hall.

Johnny startles from his near sleep stupor, eyes alert, the outline of his muscles solid beneath his gown.

Security risk. Lockdown. 

You straighten your spine.

Deep breath.

This is your job. 

Part of your job is being able to handle things like this. Protect, take care of your patients, and their families. Keep them safe.

The man shouts again, sharp tone of anger snapping through the air and across your frame, forcing your muscles tense.

You slide the door lock into place, pulling the curtain to only allow a small line of sight.

“What’s going on?” Simon stands, turning towards the door, and Johnny pats his hand, like he’s trying to soothe him.

“Oh, uh. It’s… just a lockdown. I don’t know.” You’re vaguely aware of the numb feeling that’s spreading from your chest down into your hand, and the sound of the irate man gets closer. Fuck. 

“Ye okay?” Johnny’s voice is gentle, and when you glance over your shoulder to reassure them, you realize they’re both watching you, Simon’s eyes locked onto your now trembling fist, as Johnny regards you softly, with kindness.

“Um. Yeah.” You suck in a quick breath, forcing yourself to steady, gritting your teeth against the frozen, involuntary fear that’s trying to overpower you. You think Simon might be frowning beneath the mask, confusion shading his question.

“Why are you standing at the door?”

“It’s standard operating procedure. If there’s an issue, or a disturbance. If you’re in a patient’s room, if I- I’m in a patient’s room, I’m supposed to act like a… barrier. Just in case.” You keep your eyes fixed out the glass, watching for any sights, listening for any sounds. The door is locked, and glass is thick, and security would be here if anything were to happen, they’re already down the hall, everything is fine. Deep breath. Deep breath. Deep-

“Go sit with Johnny.” Simon's standing just behind you, voice pitched low, sweetened into one of those softer hums, the kind of tone he usually uses with Johnny. Not with you. He’s so close, you can almost feel the heat radiating from his body, and you shake your head with a refusal.

“I have to stay-“ He cuts you off, not even letting you choke out the rest of your quivering protest.

“No. Go sit with Johnny.” He pauses, stepping around to angle his body in front of yours, looking down at you over his shoulder, and you think, for a moment, you see a glimmer of the tenderness there that’s reserved for Johnny. “Please.”

“My wrist hurts.” Johnny calls hopefully to you, mischievous smile and eyes sweet, his good hand outstretched with an open palm. “Need ye to rub it.” Simon nods, serious look quashing any rebuttals you might have, protocol and procedure slipping far from your mind as you let yourself drift to Johnny’s side, settling back into your seat previously abandoned. Johnny offers you his wrist, smile fading when he looks closer at your curled fingers. “Ye’re shaking, pretty girl.”

“Low blood sugar.” You lie. The man in the hallway shouts again, closer, loud and awful, roiling with rage, and you inadvertently tense, jolting minutely in the chair.

“Hey now.” Johnny reaches for you, gentle touch against your skin, warm fingers holding onto yours. You look down to where he tries to give you comfort, where he tries to soothe you, instead of the other way around, as it has been, as it should be, and you get lost in it, the idea of comfort, the feeling of care. It makes your heart stumble in your chest, almost like you can’t breathe, staring off into space, trying to pretend like there isn’t a man screaming down the hall, like you’re not the person you are, buried beneath the insurmountable weight of scars, memories of pain and fear etched into the very tissue of your brain, the backs of your eyelids, every strand of hair.

Ingrained inside of you, forever.

Someone says your name, and you blink back to the face of your patient, who looks to Simon, his expression unreadable until it shifts into tender warmth, re-focused on you. “What is it?”

“I-“ You picture yourself, letting your lips go loose, entrusting your secrets and worst fears to these strangers, these men who you don't even know, who don't know you. “I’m exhausted.” You offer, and shadow flickers across Johnny’s eyes. It’s not a lie, not technically. You’re always exhausted.

“Ye-“

“Code black lifted. Code black lifted. Lockdown complete. Resume normal operation.” The PA system drones, tension between your shoulders draining, and you jump to your feet, palms and fingers smoothing over your scrub top.

“Well, I’ve got to check in at the nurses’ station now. Protocol.” You explain, nearly tripping over yourself on the way to the door. Your heart is still raging inside your chest, beating faster than it should, and you steady your breathing with a mental count. One... two... three... one... “I’ll check in on you later.” You promise over your shoulder, slipping by Simon to disappear down the hallway. 

[sovaharbor]

[icarusredwings]

Thinking about Logan adjusting to this new timeline, becoming sober, and Wade somehow finding Logan's dog tags. ~4k words.

(Tw: Logan's a depressed recovering alcoholic with survivor guilt, unofficial proposal, canon usual implied sex jokes, Logan tries to flirt but fails)

To my wife. Who's halo lit up my dark life to see just how many doors were available to me when I couldn't see them myself<3

He offers him his to wear as a cutesie matching necklace type of thing but Logan is hesitant to take them, scared of what will come of it. He does it anyway though because he sees how happy Wade is wearing his.

What he refuses to tell him though is that just hearing the tags jingle makes him jump, flinch, his heart rate rises, and his mind floods with scenes he's worked so hard draining every bar he could find dry just so he could forget.

For me, I, too, am a man with deeply rooted animal instincts and was raised to behave like an obedient pet instead of the animal they made me.

An animal trained to take orders. A soldier without his post is miserable and constantly is either trying to find it again or defend himself from ever having to go back to a post to begin with.

You aren't good enough for them if you obey what they say and excel past the standards. But you aren't good enough if you question their authority and make choices for yourself either. Hoizer comes to mind.

Running with the bulls

Working my miracles

Holding my world together with a boot string

His night terrors are worse, more frequent, constantly a battle between wanting to protect and defend the less fortunate to saying, 'No, I'm done with that. It's none of my business, It’s someone else's problem now.'

He wakes up screaming, claws drawn, every possible sense he has to run activated, panting, gasping almost for air. He's panting, heaving deep but quick breaths, all of the hairs on his arms raised like a cat who just heard a dog barking after having gotten attacked as a kitten.

Living the dream

Benzos and gasoline

Coffee and blue light screens till the morning

He wakes to the sunlight in his face, gets up, stretches, takes his Valium. Eats some toast, calls it breakfast, gets dressed for his weekly AA meeting. The moment he steps inside it smells like Gasoline. Sweet honey scented lies that he hates to admit that he knew all too well. ‘It was only one’ ‘I asked for a virgin one but they brought me the wrong one’ ‘I'm trying, I really am..it's just.. hard’ He's heard them all before but the last one he could relate to the most.

Coming home at night, Logan puts his face into the back of his partner's neck, hugging him from behind as he offers to watch a cowboy movie marathon with him. He barely eats, only taking what Wade gives him or shoves in his mouth like the now spilled popcorn that was all over the ground, His boyfriend sprawled out on the couch while the “Dvd” bounces back and forth on the blue screen.

Wade never likes it but recently he's been drinking coffee at night, pacing back and forth as he searched online for a job. Kept himself far from the nightmares that were trying to catch up with him.

If I tell you this is drowning

You tell me I'm walking on water

I could bring fire from the mountain

You tell me it feels a little colder

Everyone was telling him how good he was doing, how well he was adjusting, how happy they were that he was here and yet.. He didn't feel like he deserved it. Any of it. Not the second chance, not the love and support of all his new family, not the affection from the man who whispered how proud of him he was each night..

It doesn't help his mental status when multiple jobs reject him either. Interviews don't exactly go that well when you have claws for hands and a reputation for having a temper.

“I'm sorry we're looking for someone with more… experience.. in this field. You need an entry level job.”

“Woah dude! You are WAY too qualified to be working here! you should try looking for something higher up, yeah?”

“I'm sorry. You're too much of a liability.”

“Oh my god- You're the Wolverine!”

“Yes.. but uhm.. No.. I'm just Logan now.”

“Wait, why are you applying here? This is a cashier position.”

“I'm aware..”

“Aren't you like… an X-men?”

“N-no… not anymore.”

“Oh… Did they fire you?”

“I quit.”

“Why?”

“Are.. these questions part of the interview?”

What kind of man was he if he couldn't even get a damn job at McDonald's? It felt useless. Like everybody wanted something different from him, but no one was happy either way. Never pleased with his resume or his reputation. You would think being an ex X-man would make it easy. Of course someone would want to hire a superhero? Right? Wrong.

I don't wanna

Choose between being a salesman or a soldier

Just let me look a little older

It seemed everyone wanted him to rejoin the X-men and as much as he missed that mansion upstate, it wasn't his. So many times he's been told stories about himself that he didn't even remember …well.. because it wasn't him. They wanted The Wolverine.

Their Wolverine.

Not Logan.

There was always that spot at the dealership with Peter. Now that Wade was back on his role with mercenary stuff and doing more “Favors” with Colossus, Negasonic and Yukio, that position was open. Part of him- No. Scratch that. All of him was happy for Wade. He seemed to be enjoying life so much more now that he felt he had purpose. But what was his purpose? Selling cars?? Definitely not. Even if it was, they were looking for something else anyway.

“It says here that you are 286 years old. Is that a typo?”

“Oh- uhm… No..”

“I see…Well we are currently looking for someone… younger.. to fill that spot. Sorry.”

But they were never actually sorry. He could smell it.

Coming home from the failed hunt, he felt like an older lion losing its pride to a younger male lion. Well- if lions could develop arthritis in their knees and hands. Once a day he'd pop out his claws, just to keep them ready though he felt like he hadn't used them in such a long time… Maybe he really was turning into an old house cat like wade said.

Sitting in their shared bedroom, he was grumbling to himself, grunting as he tried to get his claw unstuck. This wasn't the first time they locked up and he feared it wasn't the last either.

He snapped his head up at the sound of tags. Around the corner came who he expected, Wade, quickly hiding his hand under the blanket. Coming in, his eyes widened.

“Woah wolvie! Without me? Really? I would have gladly done it for you.”

At first Logan wanted to thank him for offering to help before quickly realizing that from how his hand was under the blanket, it did look suspiciously like adult alone time.

“T-that's not… no.”

“M'kaay. If you say sooo~”

“H-how uhm.. How was work?”

Watching as he began to grab shower clothes and take off his mask, He smiled.

“Oh you know! Watching the life drain from peoples eyes and what not as they beg for their life! The usual.”

“Oh.. that's.. fun?”

“Extremely liberating stuff.”

Watching as he began to strip, He swallowed, wishing he'd leave already so he could finish shoving the claw back into his skin.

Let me step a little bolder

I don't wanna

Choose between being a butcher or a pauper

“You wanna take a shower with me?” He asked, Beginning to walk around butt naked in nothing but his tags.

“U-uhm… No. No thanks, I had one this morning.”

“D'awwww what? Worried i'll see your peanuts? News flash baby, I've had those things down my throat! And I will say. They're better salty anyways~”

All this teasing changed his monotone face into a small goofy smile as he came close, crawling up into his lap, taking hold of his cheeks as he kissed his nose.

“What's wrong? Did you not get the job?”

He was so envious of how he could say such dirty things. Wade was so confident and yet so shy about his face. It made him think of when he was that confident in himself too. (Probably overly confident if we're being honest) Oh that was so many years ago… he'd never get that back. And honestly? He wasn't sure if he wanted to.

Logan said nothing but it was all the answer wade needed.

“I see. Well you'll get’em next time, Right?”

He looked away. Ashamed. Here Wade was, being overly supportive, giving him everything, and still he couldn't find a single happy bone in his body.

Shifting his leg to reassure him more, His knee was placed on the claw, yipping. “Ouch!”

“Sorry! I… I can't.. i-it won't..”

And on top of all that, he just hurt him. Man he sucked at this. All of it. Every little bit of it.

Pulling his hand away, Logan's eyes looked over Wade just as quick as it happened, Trying to see if he was bleeding only to jolt.

“Hey- shh.. Calm down. You're alright.” Grabbing his wrist, he carefully moved the tags that had gotten stuck on the claw.

“What's got you all riled up, Kitty? The interview couldn't have been that bad.”

But what he didn't know is that it WAS that bad.

Instantly Logan broke down, breaking heavily as he began to sob, gritting his teeth as he put his non-stuck hand on his face, wanting to hide. He felt pathetic. Useless. Weak. All of the things he fought not to be.

“Ooh, Honey come her-” Wade reached a hand out, trying to console him only to be shoved away.

“Don't!! I-.. I'm tired of hurting people! That's not who I want to be!”

“Baby cakes, it was an accident-”

“No!! Eveyone wants the Wolverine until the fucking wolverine is actually acting like the Wolverine!” He shouted, trying not to choke on his own tears.

Tilting his head, Wade blinked as if he wasn't aware of what he was talking about, but why would he? Logan hasn't told him anything negative for the past 2 weeks. Keeping it all bottled up, trying to push it deep down but that wasn't him. He couldn't handle it anymore.

“Everyone just keeps saying I should join the X-men again and i-” Wilson put his hands on his shoulders, looking at him with the most serious he has ever been in his entire life.

“Logan, If that's what you want we'll make it work. It's only an hour drive, and i'm sure I could visi-”

“Wade!! Shut. Up! I don't…” He trailed off, shaking his head as he began to apologize, whispering he was sorry for yelling at him.

“I-it's not your fault.. I.. I don't..”

Wade was patient, Nodding, encouraging him to open up with his words. He knew when it was time to zip it and let him talk. Now was one of those times. It was his turn to listen.

“I don't want to fight anymore. I didn't want to fight to begin with but… It's the only thing I'm good at. I'm not good at anything else.. My whole life I've just been jumping team after team and they all eventually die or I just get kicked out for not understanding the power of team work or whatever. Hell, I've been through three different wars and every single time I ran away! Like a damn dog with its tail between its legs! All except the times I was TOLD to run and I didn't. Fuck, Wade! 3 fucking wars and I can't even take orders right!!”

Honey, I'm taking no orders

Gonna be nobody’s soldier

It was now Wade's turn to try to stifle a laugh, snorting as he covered his mouth.

“What's so fucking funny?! That your boyfriend is a sad pathetic loser who can't even get his hands to listen to him!?”

Now he burst out laughing, starting to giggle.

“You're over here talking about not being able to take orders and not being good enough for a team while talking to the same guy who can't even GET on a team and was kicked out of Canadian special forces because I didn't listen to a single thing they said! And you think I care if you ‘can't take orders’ ??” He said this last part in a mocking tone, trying hard to be serious but couldn't.

Logan's eyebrows scrunched with a skeptical glare, tears still dripping down his face, feeling embarrassed and stupid.

Cupping his face again, Wade smiled ear to ear, their foreheads together. “You're much dumber than the comics make you out to be if you think I'd care about anything like that. You honestly think I'd care if you don't want to be anyone's soldier? Why do you think I'm my own boss? The world isn't built for guys like us, baby. And if you wanna open a coffee shop or- pursue your dreams of photography, or hell! Even bird watching for all I care, I will still love you. We will make it work. No matter what you choose to do. Even if you don't get a job at all. Do you understand?”

The man started into his eyes, seemingly frozen as he processed all that he said.

“Logan..”

“Hm?”

“You gotta nod hon, we've talked about this.”

Slowly nodding, indicating that he understood, the tears got thicker as he pulled himself into Wade's shoulder, sobbing more.

“Oooh There there… There's my big strong man..” Wrapping his arms around him, he was careful of the single knife still out. Sitting him up, he rubbed the side of his face as he kissed the other cheek, only to gasp.

“GAASSSPP!! Peanut!”

“What!?” His grip tightened around his waist as he looked around urgently, immediately sniffling and starting to wipe his eyes.

“You're getting greys!” He coed, reaching up to pluck a single gray hair from the beast, who flinched. “Ouch..”

Leaning back, Wade held the hair in front of his face, His smile still wider than ever.

“You're turning into A silver fox, wolvie!”

“W-what?”

“Ooh I bet you're gonna be so handsome! Eehh!” Hugging him again, tight around his neck.

Blushing, He wasn't sure what had just happened. How him venting and crying out of the rage he felt to Wade fangirling over one of his single hairs.. though.. I guess it made sense for your bald boyfriend to monitor yours. Wade has even made him start using a fancy shampoo that made his hair a lot softer, curlier, and Less greasy.

“.. you..You're excited that i'm getting old..??”

“Duh! I've always wanted to be a hot silver daddy's sugar baby!”

“What does that even mean?”

“Don't worry about it- Oh hey look! Your claw went back in.”

Looking at his hand, he made a fist and opened it a couple of times, blinking, oblivious. “...How did you do that?”

But what he didn't realize is that the stress was flowing out of him, and the relief that Wade seemed to be obsessed with him no matter what had calmed him down enough for it to slide back in itself.

“I didn't do anything, sweetheart. You opened up. Let it out. All that stress isn't good for you, you know. How do you think I ended up looking like this?” He joked, giggling.

For some reason, He laughed too, finding this a bit funny.

“Do you feel better? Hm?”

“Nngh..”

“I'll take that as a yes.” The naked man whispers, kissing him with his arms lazily on his shoulders, glad that he was able to cry in front of him. Twas a very manly thing to do and there was no one more manly than the Wolverine himself.

“Alright. I'm gonna go shower. I stink worse than you do after being out in the rain.” You know, wet dog and all. Pulling away, there was a clang and a tug at both of their necks, the tags becoming stuck together, making wade smirk more. “I think these tags don't want me to go.”

Quickly frowning, Logan swallowed, moving to take his off, pulling up his hand as he held it, putting the tag inside of it, closing his fingers.

“Wha..I-... what are you doing?”

“Wade.. I..” He sighs, looking away with a nervous pout, Grunting a bit from frustration. Why did words have to be so difficult?

“Are you breaking up with me?!”

“What!? No! I-.. I don't..”

See what Logan didn't know was that Wade had viewed these as promise rings, the equivalent of engagement even but he was okay with never actually getting married. As long as he got to wear the dress in his closet and dance with him he wouldn't mind if it was legal or not. He understood fully that not everyone wanted to marry the stage 4 cancer patient whose skin looked like turkey bacon that was somehow raw and burnt at the same time.

“You don't what? Do you.. want something else? We can get rings! Do you want rings?” shifting to sit closer to him, Wade was obviously becoming upset about this, untangling the tags and looking at him with those big brown puppy eyes.

“Rings…?”

He could see the gears in his head trying their best to turn as he thought what he meant.

“How would we make them into rings?” He finally asks and to Wade, this was basically a proposal.

Sitting up more he began clapping excitedly the same way he did when seeing puppins again about 8 months ago. “Eeh!! Yes!!”

His head turns, Giggling. “I would've taken it in front of the subway like Sanda Bullock but this works too!”

Logan, like a dumb ass, looked too, knowing full well he wouldn't see anyone but still always looked anyway. “Who??”

“Oh I'll show you later! What size are you?”

“In rings?”

“No, your cock, Of course in rings!”

“Hey now- I never agreed to a cock ring, Wade. No.”

The serious tone and the way he pointed his finger at him made him laugh more, taking his hand as he kissed it. “We'll figure it out. Okay so after my shower, I'll call a guy I know. I think Forge would do a much better job but I feel like he'd say no.” He began rambling about how cute they would be and how excited he was, climbing off of his lap (finally) and started to walk off.

“W-wade!” He called, swallowing again, nervous to ask him to listen.

“What? You wanna come shower?”

“No- well.. maybe but..”

Again he waited, rocking back and forth on his heels, trying his best to be patient but it was hard not talking for 0.5 seconds.

“It's not that.. I don't like them. It's just.. I got those a long long time ago.. and I don't want to be the man those belonged to. Not anymore. And it's not that I don't think about rejoining all the time, it's just.. I want to live my life the way I want too. Charles always said that at the end, we'd get to live how we deserve. That's my time. My time is now. I want to sit on a porch somewhere out west and watch the horses graze. I wanna sit around doing nothing with Puppins in my arms. I want… I want to be with.. with you.”

He admitted, and for once Wade was the one speechless.

“I don't want you to visit. I want to live with you. But not here. I want to go somewhere quieter. Somewhere I can just be.. Logan..”

Putting a hand on his chest as he explained, he didn't see his smile move, not a smidge, watching as he bit his lip and covered his mouth trying to stay quiet until he was done.

“Of course I still want to help people though! Protect them from other worse people… I'm just tired of being someone's toy soldier all the time. I want to do what I think is right but.. also have time to listen to you sing when cooking and take Puppins to the dog park. I want to protect..Us.” Yeah. That felt right. Us. Both of them, all of them. Together. His family.

“B-besides.. If I became an X-men again I don't think I could do it. I could barely sleep back then thinking about all the screams.. the people I couldn't help. I don't think I would be able to get over the fact that I can't save everyone… But I definitely want to try to at least save a few people. Take care of them… all of them. Even if they don't think they need help.” He smiled a bit, taking a huge breath as the stress was relieved from his shoulders.

“Alright you can talk now because I'm never doing that ever again, that was super embarrassing.” He muttered, flushed as he looked down at his lap.

The second he gave him permission to speak, Wade screamed, a scream that made Logan's eyes widen and look at him with a slow blink. “....what was tha-”

Immediately he was pulled up from the bed, picked up and squeezed tightly as he jumped around. Grunting some, he held on tight, feeling a little nauseous. Sometimes it was easy to forget how strong he was.

Still screaming, Wade was extremely excited about all that was just said, Logan admitting that he wanted a serious future with him was a lot better news than he could have ever wished for.

“Put me down!... Wade!... I'm gonna throw up!” He said, whining that he was given uppies non consensually. Even he couldn't help but laugh though in response to his giggles. God that laugh was so annoying and yet his world would feel pointless without it.

Putting him down, Wilson grabs his cheeks, petting his beard. “Ooh Logan.. I don't need protection.. because I can't get pregnant. But if I ever find out that I can, I'll definitely hire you.” He jokes, causing more blushes as his hand comes up to Wades, nuzzling into it for a moment.

“You know what I mean…”

“I do. And while I won't stop you, how about you be your own soldier for a bit? Tell yourself how to live. Not anyone else. And i'll be behind you, wearing a shirt with your ugly mug on it, supporting you the whole way. Got it?”

“Aye! I'm not ugly!”

“No you are not! I've barely been home for 20 minutes and am already so wet. I haven't even taken a shower yet “ he mumbles casually as he begins walking away.

“Heh.. Hey…erm Wade?”

“Yes, love?” Just about to leave the room, he turns, smiling gently at how talkative his fiancé was.

Logan blushes more. “I uhm.. If I'm nobody's soldier… can your name be nobody?”

Wade looks confused at first, now it's his turn to figure out what he was saying.

“Cause.. if your name is nobody then i'd be.. nevermind.” Waving A hand, he glanced at his shoes, stuffing his hands in his pocket having just fumbled that line completely.

Within seconds, Wade was back in that room, giving him the sloppiest, deepest kiss that was available, kissing him all over.

“Oh Logie! You're so sweet! But leave the flirting to me, mkay? I don't need you throwing your back out trying too hard.” He pats his chest, grabbing his hand as Wade drug him by the wrist.

They both laugh as they enter the bathroom, closing the door with a click.

[paperbackribs]

Eddie's Proposal

Prompt Day 28 – Proposal | Rating: T | CW: None | Tags: Eddie and Chrissy are besties, pre-steddie, buckingham, no Upside Down AU | WC: 877  For the @steddieholidaydrabbles

💘💅💘💅💘

“I have a proposal for you,” Eddie says.

Chrissy looks up from filing her nails, splayed across his bed with head and hands hanging off the edge, “I thought we established you don’t swing that way, babe.”

Folding his legs under him, Eddie sits cross-legged on the navy carpet by her side. David Bowie plays softly in the background because he’s not a barbarian and he’d do anything for this girl; plus, Steve loves Dancing in the Street and who is Eddie to not develop an appreciation in the gorgeous face of all that enthusiasm?

He tuts at her, “But you do about the other half of the time, so I have a proposal for you.”

“Eddie, dear, darling of my heart, you should have brought a ring. Maybe a big cheesy placard with hearts painted all over it.” She focuses on a particularly rough edge, squinting at it. “Diamond princess cut, please and thank you, sweetheart.”

Eddie scoffs even as he rubs his sweaty palms over his knees. The album fades into Cat People and Bowie roars that he’s been putting out fire with gasoline. He wonders if the lyrics are why he feels so hot suddenly. “No, not for me. For Steve.”

Chrissy’s smile is immediate and bright, “Thank God. Yes, do it. Ask him out, for sure.” Her long blonde hair shakes around her face as she laughs, a beautiful tinkling sound that spears through his heart. Eddie grips his knee; this is what he wants, he reminds himself.

“I think you’ll have to do it, he’s too shy,” Eddie says around the copper in his mouth.

Chrissy snorts, shooting him a wry look, “Steve Harrington? Shy? He struts around in barely there short shorts whenever we come over for his pool. The man doesn’t have a shy bone in his body.”

“There’s a bone somewhere,” Eddie mutters to himself, thinking of the heart palpitations he’s suffered from an affectionate, touchy-feely Steve by the poolside. Louder he says, “But you know it’s different for emotional stuff. He’s been hurt before and I think he’s gun shy.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t track,” she rebuts, frowning as she accidentally chips a piece of baby blue polish off. “He’s been very clear that he wants to move on. And with who.”

Eddie feels the blood drain from his face, dropping below the heart that has fallen out of his chest with a splat. “He’s asked you out already.” As he watches Chrissy’s face move through a series of complicated expressions, Eddie tells his heart to get itself under control: this is good, this was the goal all along.

“Eddie,” Chrissy begins, throwing aside her file to prop herself above him on her elbows, he tilts his head up to meet her suspicious gaze. “Are you asking me to date Steve? Not someone else?”

“Definitely not someone else,” Eddie answers quickly. “He should have the best and you’re the best, you two would be… the best together,” he finishes lamely albeit sincerely.

Eddie immediately knows that his crush on Steve has been ill-hidden when her wide blue eyes fill with pity. What he doesn’t expect is for amusement to swiftly replace it. “You’re an idiot,” she says affectionately.

Eddie straightens, he doesn’t expect her to cede ground to Steve because well, look at the gorgeous, sweet fucker, but she doesn’t need to rub his nose in it. “I know,” he sighs, “And I shouldn’t have let myself develop feelings for him, but at the very least I would be happy if he were happy.”

He moves up, kneeling like a knight under his queen, taking her hand in earnest, “You two are the best people in my life, and I just know you’d be good for each other.”

“Eddie…” She moves her free hand up to his head and instead of the gentle stroke he had expected she takes a chunk of his hair and yanks it, hard. “Ow, motherfucker!” He jerks back, staring at her incredulously.

“Eddie Munson, who does Steve spend all his time with?” She demands exasperatedly.

“Me,” he shakes his sore head, “That’s how I know you two would fit.”

“Yeah, well, Robin might knee-cap you for suggesting it.”

“Robin? You and…” Eddie tilts his head, the only way he can keep the world in focus as it tips over. “Yes, me and Robs,” Chrissy rolls her eyes, “And I think she would knee-cap me if I tried to hit on Steve when he clearly wants you.”

The world is still tilting, he thinks as he wordlessly points to himself. Chrissy nods, smirking. “Apparently, she’s not that far off of doing the same to Steve, if only to put him out of his misery.”

“Because he wants… me?” Eddie whispers because reverent things should be treated delicately. Chrissy patiently nods, allowing him time to reconcile the hope ballooning inside him against the sudden drumming of impatience.

Eddie drops her hand, scrambling up. “Sorry princess, I have to see a man about a proposal,” he calls out as he runs out of the room.

Chrissy shakes her head, grabbing her file and flopping back onto the pillows on his bed. “I’m surrounded by idiots,” she mutters, thinking about how Robin’s going to lose it when she tells her about this later.

[littlemisspascal]

New Writers added to The Pedro Library 🐼

Cleaned up the Library a bit 🧹🧼

New Works Added ✨

Many fics aren’t appearing in the tags when searching. If I miss yours, please let me know 💗 Or add me to your taglist cuz I love being tagged 😊

As always, if you would like me to remove your work from the rec list, please let know and I’ll remove them asap 😊

✨ New Character Added: Marcus Acacius ✨

@hellishjoel Javier Flora and Fauna

@janaispunk Javier Sweet Nothing

@undercoverpena Javier Tastes So Sweet + Do You Want Me to Hold You? / Joel You’re a Prize

@beefrobeefcal Marcus P Tommy Miller’s Stall + No Words Needed / Dieter Deez Nutz

@swiftispunk Joel Decode

@criticallyacclaimedstranger Joel Kisses Prompt 16

@novemberrain-writes Joel Whumperless Whump: Alcohol as Sanitizer

@moonlight-prose Joel First Love in The Late Spring Air 

@absurdthirst @storiesofthefandomlovers Joel Contracted Fling

@beskarandblasters Din Trust

@clawdeewritesfanfic Dave Fire Meets Gasoline / Marcus M You Can Do It. I Can Help.

@toomanystoriessolittletime Dave Revelations

@javier-pena Marcus A Circumstance

@morallyinept Marcus A Til Death / Joel Move / Ezra Keep Me Warm

@ezrasbirdie Marcus M Crash

@something-tofightfor Frankie A Kiss After Pain

@covetyou Frankie For One Night Only

@alltheirdamn Frankie Grand Slam

@nerdieforpedro Frankie Security Logs

@milla-frenchy Tim The Guest Room

@frenchiereading Oberyn Sweet Taste of Revenge

[socially-awkward-skeleton]

It's been a while since I've had much to share but tagged most recently by @imogenkol @g0dspeeed and @thesingularityseries to share a wip

It's a Kit week this week apparently after just posting chapter 55 of American Beasts, and a wip last line snippet, here's a bit I've started working on for chapter 56. Where Kit passes judgement on Dutch. Slapping a giant warning on this considering it describes setting a person on fire, and mentions of Vietnam war crimes... so the general dark themes that can be expected from this fic. A return to form, one could say.

This late into winter the bunker had become damp, the musty scent of a basement clinging to the walls and the floors. Didn’t seem to matter how much he aired it out, the stink remained like a bad omen. Clinging, cloying. The land poisoned along with the water and it bubbled up through the soil and the pores of the concrete.

Dutch glanced over at the pictures he had of his family, the ones he’d lost, driven away, and took a swig from his flask. The cheap bottom-shelf whiskey burned the whole way down coalescing with the tobacco smoke from his hand-rolled cigarette to form one tainted mixture of a man’s fall into bitter loneliness. Rubbing his hand down the whiskers of his goatee, wiping at the corners of his mouth, he took another sip of the liquor, something more akin to paint thinner with the way it rotted his gut.

The board on his wall had been updated, the formation of the Seeds having changed. John was alive, Faith was gone, and the Deputy, Kit, had joined their ranks, falling in line with their brand of insanity. He stood there, hands on his hips, his jaw working from side to side as he started planning the next steps required to bring them down. Joseph’s Island had been dealt with, he had watched the smoke rise himself before the fleet of boats that had set off from his property had returned. But that was just a drop in the ocean. There were still two bunkers remaining, the cult’s forces split between the two, and he knew for certain they would not let a slight like this stand against them. It was an affront to the Father, and Joseph Seed didn’t appreciate being made into a joke.

As he returned to his bank of monitors, Dutch found the screens had all gone blank, but there was no power outage on his end – someone had cut the feed. Moments later, the lights all cut out and the air filtration fans stopped their spinning until the backup generator kicked in. The dull amber glow of emergency lights kept most of his surroundings in the murky depths of the dark. Long shadows looming from out of the corners and amongst the crates he had stored down there with him, reminding him of one of those old slasher flicks, and the killer was inside the house already. 

Catching the chemical smell of benzene in the air, sweet and pungent, the perfume of a hot summer’s day, he stormed out of the control center of his bunker. Reaching the long hall leading to the steep set of stairs that ascended to the outside world, he saw the teeming masses that barricaded his only escape route. Demons in the night. Reaping what he sowed.

Red jerry cans glugged out liters of gasoline in a deluge, the liquid pouring down the steps, coating them in a cascade. It splashed on his boots, pooling at his feet, crawling outwards and spreading like a pestilence. He looked down and by eye alone he could see the flood had already come, standing an inch deep in the flammable substance. Dutch’s eyes rose, forced to meet the instigator and her pale, lifeless eyes as her people parted, making a hole for her as if she were some messiah among them.

She didn’t flinch, showed no sign of second thought, no guilt or remorse. Cold, inert. As soulless and dead-eyed as the rest of the Seeds and their flock. Her hair was the only thing moving, dancing in the wind as though it had a life of its own. Kit stared down at him, that constant scowl of hers almost mocking him now as her jaw clenched and her eyes narrowed. 

John Seed had marked her with ‘Wrath’ and he could see it written all over her. A sinner set upon the path of judging other sinners. Judge not, lest ye be judged yourself.

He’d had no idea who she was when he’d saved her all those months ago, pulling her out of the water the night of the arrest. Had no idea of what she was capable of. The stranger in their midst who distanced herself from all. The outside observer, seeing them all for what they really were. And now, he couldn’t help but feel maybe he deserved the fate she brought down upon him. The things he did in war, the bloodshed and destruction of families he had participated in throughout Hope County. Dutch resigned himself to it, to his end. It was a better one than becoming a slave to the beliefs of a madman like she had, just another sycophant at the feet of the Father. This merciless, vengeful, violent thing that he helped to sic on the county. 

“I’ll see you in hell, Kit.”

He didn’t beg, didn’t run. There would be no point. It seemed as though whenever Kit had her eyes set on a soul's demise, she marched the warpath until the goal was met. If it wasn’t now, it was only a matter of when, and he’d seen the video of what she was willing to do in the name of duty. In all honesty, he was getting off light. 

Should've left her to drown, his final thought as he watched the old army zippo lighter fall, bouncing down the last few steps with a tinkle like chimes. Flickering flame hit the waterfall, and the blue conflagration sprinted towards him, a devouring creature feasting upon the fuel to reach its final meal. 

His body was engulfed in flame, the inferno gorging upon flesh, fat, hair, and cloth. The searing heat made it impossible to breathe, melting the thin skin of his eyes shut. In his mind’s eye, in his final moments, he couldn’t help but picture his days in Vietnam. The napalm, the burning innocents. Monks immolating themselves to end a useless war. One as brutal and unnecessary as the war that had struck a small county in Montana. 

He screamed himself hoarse until the skin of his throat had been barbecued and his heart gave out. The heavy door of the bunker shut tight, leaving him inside to burn. A crematorium. A structure meant to save a life from the devastating power of a bomb, made into nothing more than a tomb. 

Black smoke rose, curling up to meet the sky. A charred husk of an island to match the darkened cinders of Joseph’s. The Alpha and the Omega. Ending where it began. 

writing tag list [opt in/out]: @henbased @roofgeese @cloudofbutterflies92 @aceghosts @galaxycunt

@ocdemon-747 @unholymilf @wrathfulrook @raresvtm @fourlittleseedlings

@harmonyowl @mxanigel @finding-comfort-in-rain @carlosoliveiraa @confidentandgood

@afarcry5fromstraight @inafieldofdaisies @voidika @kyberinfinitygems

@clicheantagonist @adelaidedrubman @strafethesesinners @statichvm @josephslittledeputy

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@strangefable @stacispratt

[getawayfox]

At the beginning of the year, I thought I'd make a couple of little rec posts with a quote from some of my favourite fics, you know, something easy. And easy it was: with so many gorgeous fics that are out there, it's been such an absolute joy to keep finding quotes to share that I ended up making one each week for the whole year. I got so many lovely messages and tags about them and I'm so happy that I helped people discover new things to read. So, here is a masterlist of all the 50 quotes that I shared this year. (There are actually 51. Idk how that happened. Let's pretend it's a nice round number, it looks better on the banner😂)

Thank you to everyone who liked, shared, commented, and showered our writers with love. I will be back next year with more!

Fire Meet Gasoline by lettersbyelise (Drarry, E, 63k)

if you've changed your mind by warmfoothills (Drarry, E, 20k)

the long ways by oknowkiss (Drarry, M, 10k)

Under Giant Mountains by wolfpants (Drarry, E, 34k)

You Know the Feeling by sorrybutblog (Drarry, M, 12k)

In The Company Of Serpents by corvuscrowned (Drarry, E, 25k)

Draco Malfoy Absolutely Does Not Need to Be Loved by Harry Bloody Potter by nv-md (Drarry, E, 18k)

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Sun Stroke by peachpety (Drarry, E, 3.8k)

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A Saviour’s Guide to Manners and Decorum by wolfpants (Drarry, E, 13k)

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[thesfromhms]

Who is THE Soul from CCCC? Well

Just a lost Soul wandering. Lost. Adrift... Well not really!

*insert a goofy cartoon intro*

HI! My names Soul! Or Eros. Or Alex. Whatever you prefer! (When sending asks, if you can, plz send me flowers I can eat!! :)))) also!

I'm a minor, my birthday is on June 17! So, ya, I'm a Gemini

As for pronouns, go crazy! Just not neos or it/its please!

I'm a proud Bisexual and Bigender person. I'm attracted to me, myself, and I :3

I'm more of an introvert irl, but on social media? I'm more ambi lol

I don't have anything else to say about myself, so onto what I like! Maybe we can be friends!

*transition PowerPoint style*

Artists? Weeeellll-

Chonny Jash! (He's a cool guy :3)

Taylor Swift (She gets hated on a lot... But her music is so good!)

Melanie Martinez (Her vibe in K12 and Crybaby>>>>>)

Ricky Montgomery (Oh. My. God. THIS IS SELF EXPLANITORY!!! /silly)

Alec Benjamin (Mr. Boy in a bubble)

Nico Collins (Underrated as HELL)

JVKE (Golden hour guy!)

That's it!

Albums? *throws them at you*

CCCC/Chonny's Charming Chaos Compendium.

1989

K12

Crybaby

Montgomery Ricky

EPIC: The Circe Saga

Narrated For You

These 2 windows

INSIDE

This is what ____ feels like

>_<

Favorite things? Hope you'll agree!

Color: Pastels! Pink and Purple too!

Candy: XO. The strawberry cheesecake one. Hands down one of my favorite candies EVER

Beverage: Coffee. And blue lemonade!

TV show: We don't watch cable TV anymore sadly. BUT I REALLY LIKED ANYTHING NICKELODEON PUT ON!

Place: A cold bedroom

Animal: Cats, bunnies (people see me as them!), and swans!

Movie: Coco. And literally any old Disney movie. But if I had to choose 1, it'd be Lady and The Tramp!

Food: As a Filipino, I say sinigang. Or adobo :3

Hobbies...

Writing and singing and drawing. That's it.

Fandoms

KOTLC

Magisterium

PJO (Only!!)

Chonnys Charming Chaos Compendium

The Stanley Parable

Little Nightmares

SIX

Hamilton

EPIC

Danganronpa

TBHK

The Umbrella Academy

Dead Boy Detectives

Yea, idk what to add anymore. Hi. Welcome. Nice to meet you.

(August 8, 2024)

Adding the people I love

@imobsessed123 Lexi, the person that lets me torture them with Fitz angst 😌 Also the one who brings gasoline

@multi-fandom-lunatic THE ONE AND ONLY. THE ONW WHO IS WRITING KOTLS. THW ONE THAT INCLUDED 3 OF MY IDEAS IN KOTLS

@siennamakeschaos KEEFITZ ENTHUSIAST RAH

@axyer My host, my parent, my Stanley

@innereverblaze Last, but not least, MY COGNATE!!!!! THE ONE THAT AGREED TO BE PART OF MY CHAOS. (She took a break. Please wish her well)

@thishumanformislimiting HER HUMAN FORM IS LIMITING, BUT SHE BRINGS THE FIRE WHATEVER

(August 17, 2024)

Tags :

#quite literally keefitz - Keefitz content

#Darling Cognate - Anything that has @innereverblaze

#Emelins lessons - @thishumanformislimiting teaches me things

#the dex fanatic and the fitz fanatic - @imobsessed123 and I

#My inbox has been invaded - Someone sent me an ask

#Normal anon - THE Normal anon

#JENSA JENSA JENSA - Jensa content

#The Lunatics - Me and @multi-fandom-lunatic

#Condemn him to the infirmary - Vent tag (Plz block if you don't want to see my vents)

#the arson trio - The shenanigans of me, @imobsessed123, and @thishumanformislimiting

[5ivebyfive]

fire meet gasoline - chapter thirteen: kiss me and tell me you're mine

Kimberly Hart, professional women's soccer/football star, gets transferred to a new team. Their star goalkeeper, Trini Gomez, isn't the most welcoming, but there's something about Trini that Kim can't shake. They have to learn how to go from rivals to teammates, and they have to find a way to get along. But it's not easy. Especially not with a mutual attraction and a one night stand standing between them. Can they learn to work together? Or will the fact that they're both stubborn and argumentative continue to cause trouble between them? And what about that attraction...

Well. I finished a very short update, but hopefully it's worth it. I hope you read and enjoy it, and would love comments, asks, and reblogs.

[inkchwe]

𝖒𝖔𝖇𝖎𝖑𝖊 𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡ requests are [ OPEN ] 𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 genre key: 🤍 - fluff, 💟 - smut, 💙 - angst, 💌 - smau, tags

𝖊𝖓𝖍𝖞𝖕𝖊𝖓

𝔩𝔢𝔢 𝔥𝔢𝔢𝔰𝔢𝔲𝔫𝔤

cafe au lait 💌🤍 | establishedrelationship!au, the guys being Dudes | when a bad day can be solved with a coffee from the love of your life, you know you have it good.

lips of an angel 💙 | exes!au, established (previous) relationship | He's not supposed to be calling you in the middle of the night after months of silence. And yet you fall back into the same feelings like nothing has changed.

so high school 🤍💟 | basketballplayer!heesung, nerd!reader, tutor!au, high school au, oral (f + m receiving), penetration (all characters are of age!), light choking | You and your boyfriend are complete opposites on paper—you, the girl hidden inside a book, and Heeseung, the star of the basketball team—but it feels so right every time you’re together.

drabble series: ii (🤍). v (💟).

𝔰𝔦𝔪 (𝔧𝔞𝔨𝔢) 𝔧𝔞𝔢𝔶𝔲𝔫

fire meet gasoline 💟 | college au, popular!jakeau, simp!jake, frat au, oral (f receiving), fingering, penetration | jake sim, the head of theta tau's fraternity, was definitely not someone you’d take interest in at first glance. but the way he looks at you, defies your thoughts, and makes you think he may be worth the attention.

dancing with our hands tied 💟 | brothersbsf!jake, minor age difference, college au, friends with benefits, secret relationship, light choking, semi-public sex, oral (f + m receiving), fingering, penetration, unprotected sex (please practice safe sex folks) | What began as a simple friends-with-benefits situation with your brother's best friend has turned into something deeper, and you now find that your emotions are more complicated than you initially thought.

drabble series: i (🤍).

𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔨 𝔰𝔲𝔫𝔤𝔥𝔬𝔬𝔫

three men & a crib 🤍 | established relationship, soontobedad!sunghoon, married!au, pregnant!reader | Sunghoon is wasting time not building the furniture in the nursery, mainly the terrifyingly intricate crib his pregnant wife ordered. What else can he do besides call Jake and Jay to help him?

drabble series: iii (🤍).

𝔶𝔞𝔫𝔤 𝔧𝔲𝔫𝔤𝔴𝔬𝔫

drabble series: iv (🤍).

𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜

dream daddy (enha!hyung line) 🤍 | singledad!enhypen | teaser. ch. 1 - heeseung. ch. 2 - jake. ch. 3 - jay. ch. 4 - sunghoon

all in the craft (enha!ot7) 🤍 | basically enhypen with grandma hobbies | teaser. ch. 1 - heeseung. ch. 2 - jake. ch. 3 - jay. ch. 4 - sunghoon. ch. 5 - sunoo. ch. 6 - jungwon. ch. 7 - riki.

𝖘𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖊𝖓

𝔠𝔥𝔬𝔦 𝔰𝔢𝔲𝔫𝔤𝔠𝔥𝔢𝔬𝔩

drabble series: v (🤍).

𝔧𝔢𝔬𝔫 𝔴𝔬𝔫𝔴𝔬𝔬

enchanted 🤍 | cinderella-ish retelling, royalty!wonwoo | Life as the housemaid and an inconvenience to your family is not what you wished for, but Wonwoo brings a new, royal perspective that turns your world around.

drabble series: i (🤍).

𝔨𝔦𝔪 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔶𝔲

drabble series: iii (🤍).

𝔵𝔲 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔥𝔞𝔬

drabble series: iv (🤍).

𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔰𝔬𝔩 (𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔫𝔬𝔫) 𝔠𝔥𝔴𝔢

guilty as sin 💟 | coworker au, friends to lovers au, semi-unrequited love au, oral | Never in a million years did you think you would have a crush on your friend and best friend's boyfriend. But sometimes what is in your heart springs up at the worst times.

biker boy 💌🤍 | semibadboy!au, friends to lovers, college!au | When the semi-bad boy falls for the bookworm, romantic and silly shenanigans ensue.

loml 💌🤍 | semibadboy!au, friends to lovers, college!au | A continuation of the biker boy smau (a collection of fluff in the form of instagram stories).

not a bad thing 🤍💟 | friends to lovers, light drug use, fingering, oral (f receiving), mutual masturbation, penetration, cockwarming | Just because you've been friends for so long doesn't mean Vernon isn't keeping some secrets from you, and you're determined to confront him about it.

high & dry 🤍 | hogwartsaltior!au, dj!vernon, gardener!reader | Vernon is good with his words behind a microphone and with hundreds of students listening to him. Why is it so hard to talk to one girl in the gardening club?

drabble series: ii (💙), vi (💟),

𝖇𝖔𝖞𝖓𝖊𝖝𝖙𝖉𝖔𝖔𝖗

𝔥𝔞𝔫 𝔡𝔬𝔫𝔤𝔪𝔦𝔫 (𝔱𝔞𝔢𝔰𝔞𝔫)

drabble series: i (🤍).

𝖙𝖜𝖎𝖈𝖊

𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔨 𝔧𝔦𝔥𝔶𝔬

drabble series: i (🤍).

for a link to all of my old writing, look here (x).

[rebelwrites]

Eight: Highs And Lows

Charles Leclerc x Nova Teller (OC)

Till the wheels fall off Masterlist

Small town meets the fast lane. What happens when two souls meet? Will it end in happiness or will they both crash and burn?

WARNINGS: this is such an emotional chapter, heavy themes of dementia

As always reblogs and feedback is highly appreciated ❤️ if you want tagging in future parts let me know ❤️

Stepping out onto the small wooden stage, I felt the bile rise in my throat as I looked out across the bar seeing everyone’s eyes were on me. I was about to show the world my vulnerabilities, my insecurities and a part of me that I had lost. In a way this was me trying to find myself once again, I had spent far too long trying to be a superhero when in reality I was just plain old Nova.

Wrapping my fingers around the neck of my guitar, I let out a shaky breath trying to remember how free I felt when I sang.

You can do this!

Letting my eyes flutter closed I let the backing track wash over me, feeling the beat take over my soul as I started strumming the strings on my guitar, “So he's gone and left you all alone, think the better of your years were spent with him. The little girl who used to dance, on fire and brimstone, is all but dead,” my voice was shaky to start with but I quickly found my rhythm as the music took over my body.

“Where's the girl I knew that held a lighter up to the radio. She'd do anything she wants, because she can. We were seventeen and wild and we were jumpin' on the Devil's bed, I didn't raise you like that,” finally opening my eyes, I looked over to Pops’ booth, seeing the tears form in his eyes tugged at my heart. “I taught you lessons about freedom strapped to the bucket of a four five five. I lit your hair on fire racing ten mile flats. Where American heavy metal thrives. Oh we were waitin' and wishin' on pink slips and kisses at the end of the line. When you rat-a-tat tatted on the glass, and you screamed on high I'm alive.”

It only seemed right that this was the first song I openly sang, John Teller was the man I called my father, the man that taught me right from wrong, the man that took me in when my dead beat biological parents chose drugs over me. This was the song he always used to sing to me when I was having a bad day, it always reminded me who I was.

“You can say that cat is long gone, I bet you look real hard you can find that girl within. She's probably waitin' in the wings, for you to come along, let her out again. You need a quarter mile, a bunch of horses and some gasoline,” I was putting my all into this song, in a way this was my way of speaking to myself, reminding myself that I needed to be myself. Not hiding behind this superhero image I had made myself into in order to keep my head above water. It was time that I was true to myself, it was the only way I was going to be able to move forward.

My gaze locked with Charles, there was something about the way he was looking at me that nearly made my resolve crumble into pieces. Tears threatened to spill over my lash line as I belted out the song. “I taught you lessons about freedom strapped to the bucket of a four five five. I lit your hair on fire, racing ten mile flats. Where American heavy metal thrives. Oh we were waitin' and wishin', on pink slips and kisses at the end of the line. When you rat-a-tat tatted on the glass and you screamed, I'm alive.”

For the first time in a while I felt free, the worries about showing the world my vulnerable side quickly dissolved as the music wrapped around me like a soothing blanket, as if it was protecting me from the outside world. I knew the final part of the song was coming up, I refused to break eye contact with Charles, I just hoped that he understood what I was trying to express to him through the song, especially with the last line.

“I'm alive. You wanna meet a girl I used to know, let's take a drive.”

Spinning around I let out a shaky breath, carefully placing the guitar back in the stand before turning back to face everyone in the room. Jax was wolf whistling, Pops was crying and everyone else was clapping. Nothing could take the smile off my face right now I was in my element as I jumped off the stage making way over to the corner my family were huddled in.

The moment I got within touching distance Jax pulled me into his arms, pressing a kiss against the top of my head, “that gave me fucking chills, Squirt,” he hummed, squeezing me tight. Wiggling out of his grasp I took Pops’ hands in mine, the proud watery smile that was on his face told me everything.

“I’ve missed your singing,” he whispered, squeezing my hand, “seeing you up on that stage took me back to when you used to put on your own concerts in the living room, singing into your hairbrush.”

Oh god he was going to spill off of my embarrassing moments in front of the guy I was currently crushing hard on. I needed to be sitting down for this, Jax being the ass he was, had taken the space next to Pops meaning the only spot left for me was next to Charles. Right now I wanted the world to swallow me whole, especially when Jax jumped in on the action as well, he loved any chance he could to tease me.

“Oh yeah, you used to make us sit through a whole damn performance, home made tour t-shirts included,” Jax smirked. I could see where this was going, he had a mischievous look in his eyes as he spoke, “you even made him set up the camcorder to make it an official tour, even though it only ever happened in the living room.”

“Now that I would love to see,” Charles chuckled, nudging my shoulder as I sat back in the same spot as earlier.

“I think Pops still has the VHS,” Jax winked, causing me to flip him the bird.

“Don’t you fucking dare Jackson Teller,” I growled through gritted teeth, “if that video ever manages to make it to the surface I will personally take a sledgehammer to your Harley and your dirt bike.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” he said, narrowing his eyes at me.

“Try me, asswipe!” I shrugged, downing a glass of amber liquid but I nearly ended up spraying Jax with whiskey from across the table as I felt Charles try to slyly move his arm around me. It was the classic fake yawn trick but even so the action caused my heart rate to double.

“You okay?” Jax asked, cocking his brow, I could tell he noticed Charles’ movement by the smirk on his face.

“Wrong hole,” I breathed, reaching for a napkin to wipe my face. My head was spinning and not from the alcohol or performing, this was the most contact I had with Charles since he arrived in town and I was starting to freak out, especially when he scooted over in the booth, his leg pressing against mine. In my head I told myself that it was only to allow Elenor to sit in between him and Pierre.

For the next few hours we ate, drank and laughed. Everything felt natural, the more time I spent with Charles and Pierre it felt like we had been friends for years, the conversation never dried up, there were never any awkward moments even when Elenor spilt her drink all over Charles’ hoodie.

He made out that it didn’t matter when Elenor started to freak out, her bottle lip was wobbling, her bright blue eyes were shield by tears that threatened to fall. Charles ignored his wet hoodie to console Elenor. Watching him wrap his arms around her, running his hand over the back of her head trying to get her to calm down warmed my heart, he was so good with her. Once he was happy she was okay, he attempted to take the wet garment off without making anyone move. As he pulled his arms over his head, his t-shirt rode up giving me the perfect view of his toned stomach.

The sight made my heart skip a beat, I needed to distract myself, I could feel my skin heat up, to the point I knew my cheeks were bright red. Pulling my gaze away from his abs I tried to find anything else to look at but in turn I ended up catching Pierre’s eye, smirking at me knowingly. The moment Charles’ hoodie hit the table I grabbed it mumbling into the air, “let me take care of this,” before I scurried out to the back where we kept the industrial tumble dryer. This thing always amazed me, it dried items super quick meaning I had an excuse to not be at the table whilst I waited for his hoodie to dry.

Stepping out of the back door I placed a cigarette between my lips, the sound of the birds in the trees gave me something other than my racing heart to focus on. The sun was starting to set which provided a welcome breeze, but it wasn’t enough. I was so close to grabbing a pack of frozen peas out of the freezer to try to cool my face down.

My mind was spinning with everything that had happened this evening. I was relieved that Pops loved the performance, I couldn’t lie it did feel good to get back up on the stage. My thoughts drifted back to Charles, I swear the connection between us was getting stronger by the second even though we hadn’t spoken that much. There was just something about him that set my entire world on fire.

It was like our souls had been entwined in a previous lifetime.

I stayed outside until I had got my nerves under control, even if it meant I smoked two cigarettes back to back, dropping the butt into the bucket by the door. I pushed myself off the wall, taking a deep breath, exhaling loudly before heading back inside to check on the progress on the dryer.

Once I had rejoined the table I dropped Charles’ sweater in front of him, the confused look on his face made me giggle, “we have a commercial dryer, don’t worry I ain’t a hoodie thief,” I shrugged. My words caused a large smile to appear on his face as I sat back down next to him. This time he didn’t try to be sly about his movements, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

“Thank you,” he whispered, letting his fingers run over the back of my hand like he was drawing something.

“I wasn’t gonna let you sit in wet clothes all night,” I smiled, boldly resting my hand on his knee, “I ain’t cruel.”

It was like it was only me and him in the room, these small touches made me realize how much I missed the intimacy of being with someone. It was like someone had put us in a protective bubble allowing us to openly flirt with each other. That was until Pierre coughed bringing us back down to the real world.

“You two need to get a room,” he smirked, pouring himself another glass of whiskey.

“What does that mean, Auntie Nova?” Elenor asked, looking up from her coloring book.

“Nothing, baby,” I giggled, before narrowing my eyes at Pierre causing him to hold his hands up in defense.

“You need to watch this one Charles, she’s feisty,” Pierre hummed with a large smile on his face.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see the look on Pops’ face had changed, he had gone from smiling to throwing daggers across the table at me and Charles. The knot in my stomach made itself known once again, I knew the expression on Pop’s face all too well.

“You just have to flirt with everyone don’t you Gemma,” he spat, slamming his palm onto the table causing me to flinch at the sudden movement. “You can’t be fucking faithful if you tried!”

Tears pricked my eyes, normally I could deal with his episodes but this one cut deep, it felt personal. The fact he thought I was Gemma made me want to throw up, I was nothing like her, never have been and never will be but for some reason in his head right now that's who he saw me as. I had never moved so fast in my life, pushing Charles’ arm off me, moving so I was crouched in front of Pops

“Pops, it’s me,” I whispered, placing my hand on his arm, “it’s Nova.”

“Get off me,” he shouted, pushing me backwards causing me to fall on my ass.

A single tear rolled down my cheek as I looked up at Charles and Pierre. “Can one of you get her out of here please, she doesn’t need to see this. I have a feeling it won’t be pretty.”

Both boys quickly moved out of the booth, Pierre taking Elenor's hand guiding her out of the firing zone, she didn’t need to see her Poppy like this. Charles was now standing in front of me, offering his hand for me to take, he had an apologetic smile on his face as he helped me off the floor.

“You never could keep your hands to yourself could you!” Pops growled at me, pushing himself to his feet so he could square up to me, “whenever there was someone new in town you would be all over them like a rash, not caring about me.”

I couldn’t stop the tears from rolling freely down my cheeks, I knew his words weren’t aimed at me but they still hurt. Especially knowing that he thought I was his ex-wife.

“Pops, Gemma is dead!” I said, trying not to lose my temper, reminding myself that he wasn't himself right now.

He hadn’t had an outburst this bad in a while, seeing the man I looked up too lose all control like this completely broke me. There was nothing anyone could do, we just needed to ride it out but I knew the way he was looking at me right now was going to be burned into my soul.

My heart was in pieces, the man standing in front of me wasn’t one I recognised. Roughly wiping my cheeks with the back of my hand I tried to stop the tears from falling but nothing was working. The whole bar had fallen silent at Pops’ outburst, I needed to get out of the room, right now it felt like the walls were starting to close in on me trying to squeeze the life out of my body.

“Sunshine, you okay?” Charles asked, placing his hand on my lower back. His touch provided some calmness to the whirlwind of a situation.

“I need to be alone right now,” I sniffled, knowing my make up was well and truly fucked right now. Shrugging Charles’ hand off me, I let out a shaky breath as I tried to move through the bar but it was just my luck that everyone was standing between me and the door blocking my escape.

“Can everyone fucking move out of my way!” I growled, not caring how harsh I sounded.

“Nova,” Jax called out to me, he knew that he shouldn’t follow me, although when I saw a packet of cigarettes flying through the air I weakly smiled at him, catching the smokes with ease, before slipping through the main doors of the bar.

The moment I finally got outside the summer breeze hit my face, my world had just been tipped upside down in the space of five minutes. Feeling the wall take the weight of my body, I didn’t try to hold myself up instead I slumped to the floor pulling my knees to my chest as the sobs took over my body.

Any happiness I felt had now been washed away by Pop’s reaction. I never would have predicted he would act the way he did, seeing me with someone. This was how my life went, one moment I was on top of the world, feeling invincible to feeling the lowest I had felt in a while within a matter of minutes.

@withmyteeth @chibsytelford @stillbreathin @danzer8705 @keyweegirlie @celestialams @dragon-of-winterfell @ohthemisssery @a-distantdreamer @sgkophie @angywritesstuff @enchantedbytomandhenry @scribbuluswrites @dangerouspursepeachbear @buendiabebeta @ferrarifwendvale @theplobnrgone @charlesleclercje @queenslife @panicforspec @justme2042 @liv67 @derpinathebrave @clcspeonies @pleasantducktimetravel @raaaaabzzz @mehrmonga @sbgal @fangirl-lb @pitconfirmbutton @oslokij @tall-tanned-tattoo @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @pumpkin-spice-hate @talicat713 @band--psycho @little-diable @i-love-scott-mccall @fourthwallhateclub @theysayitscrazy @rosieposie0624 @choochoo284 @meteora-fc @beeroses @darklydeliciousdesires @the-jer-bear @extraneousred @youflickedtooharddamnit @babypink224221

[richardsgraysons]

the alchemy

prompt — some of my favorite songs as batboys

tags — nothing lol

DICK GRAYSON

the alchemy by taylor swift ( Cause the sign on your heart / Said it's still reserved for me / Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy? )

yellow by coldplay ( Your skin, oh yeah / your skin and bones / Turn into something beautiful / And you know, you know I love you so )

home by edward sharpe & the magnetic zeroes ( That's true, laugh until we think we'll die / Barefoot on a summer night / Never could be sweeter than with you (hey) )

daylight by taylor swift ( I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you / (I can never look away) / I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you / (Things will never be the same) )

a world alone by lorde ( All the double-edged people into schemes / They make a mess, then go home and get clean / You're my best friend, and we're dancing in a world alone

JASON TODD

homemade dynamite by lorde ( I'll give you my best side, tell you all my best lies / Seeing me rolling, showing someone else love / Hands under your t-shirt /Know I think you're awesome, right? )

guzarish by javed ali ( I'm walking in the nights / hope I don't crash anywhere / The flame of hope is still burning / But still I fear the incoming storm / I hope that the flame doesn't go off )

maroon by taylor swift ( The mark you saw on my collarbone, the rust that grew between telephones / The lips I used to call home, so scarlet, it was maroon )

the blonde by tv girl ( 'Cause anyone who ever had a brain / Wouldn't stand out in the rain / Or keep it up for very long / Just to prove somebody wrong )

dear arkansas daughter by lady lamb ( You with the dark curls / You with the watercolor eyes / You who bear your teeth with every smile )

TIM DRAKE

lovers rock by tv girl ( But if you're too drunk to drive / And the music is right / She might let you stay/ But just for the night ) [ my biggest flex is that i was in paris by the eiffel tower with my family and we were going to go eat dinner on the eiffel tower, and as i walked by the street to get to the park where the tower is at, i saw a girl and a guy listening to lovers rock together on a scooter together and it was so CUTE ]

born to die by lana del rey ( Feet don't fail me now / Take me to the finish line / Oh, my heart it breaks every step that I take / But I'm hoping that the gates, they'll tell me that you're mine )

supercut by lorde ( I'm someone, you may be my love / I'll be your quiet afternoon crush / Be your violent overnight rush / Make you crazy over my touch )

are you bored yet by wallows & clairo ( 'Cause we could stay at home or watch the sunset / But I can't help from askin', "Are you bored yet?" / And if you're feelin' lonely, you should tell me / Before this ends up as another memory)

apocalypse by cigarettes after sex ( You've been hiding them in hollowed out pianos / Left in the dark / Got the music in you, baby / Tell me why / Got the music in you, baby )

DAMIAN WAYNE

sanctuary by joji ( If you've been waiting for fallin' in love / Babe, you don't have to wait on me / 'Cause I've been aiming for heaven above / But an angel ain't what I need )

sober by lorde ( Oh, God, I'm clean out of air in my lungs / It's all gone, played it so nonchalant / It's time we danced with the truth / Move along with the truth )

fire meet gasoline by sia ( I got all I need, when you came after me / Fire meet gasoline, I'm burning alive / And I can barely breathe, when you're here loving me / Fire meet gasoline, burn with me tonight, yeah )

work song by hozier ( When my time comes around / Lay me gently in the cold, dark earth / No grave can hold my body down / I'll crawl home to her )

put me through it by suki waterhouse ( And I'm tired of keeping all my feelings to myself / Was undercover, playing cards that I've been dealt / You spun me 'round in circles 'til I tripped and fell / I admit I got addicted, now I'm sick as hell )

[givethemsmut]

Dom Mysterio x Reader

Chapter Fifteen | Where It All Started…

Dominik’s suspension had flown by. We spent half of it avoiding each other and the other half in bed. Somehow we resolved everything without resolving anything and I could be okay with that. We both made mistakes. If we could just stop sabotaging things we would be fine.

WWE didn’t stop calling or texting Dom. I wanted to be with him so badly I didn’t care what that looked like, if it meant I was involved or used as a pawn.

“Can we talk about it?” Dom was picking up shoes and doing some mini interview downtown that I tagged along to.

“There’s nothing to talk about. We aren’t using our personal lives as viewer bait.” He scuffed while snatching another pair of Nikes.

“But you can pretend to be other people’s boyfriends as viewer bait?” I retorted with my voice a little too loud when I realized people glanced over at me. Trailing behind him closely I whispered, “I want an excuse to go with you.”

“So I don’t fuck up again?” Twisting into me he purposely got so close it hurt just to breeze by me.

Still following his lead, “No, because I’m tired of being apart. I’m tired of hurting each other in general. I’m not going for a story line - you know I have zero interest in that shit. I did the living alone in our new house, missing you and masterbating to death thing. It’s old.”

Crowding me at the mere crude words, Dominik stepped into me until my back was against a poorly placed mirror. “Shhh. No one needs to know that. You can come but if I know my bosses they’re gonna hound us until we say yes. They want this storyline and you being on the road with me is a tease. They’ll never let it go.”

“Why are you so against it? What do they want from us?” I asked him, unsure of why he was so angry over nothing.

Looking down at me, I could feel his tense body against mine. I wasn’t showing yet but all of me felt more filled out. His fist pressed against the mirror as he leaned further in. “You would be with Randy. By his side. The whole point is to break Rhea and I up.”

“Can’t hide behind her forever, right?” I said it and regretted it. They were close beyond work partners, they were best friends and nothing would change that. Not my jealous or snarky attitude.

I had triggered him entirely when his mouth tightened and his eyes rested down into slants. “I’m not hiding. I’m protecting you. I’m not watching the replay of his hands on you.”

His words felt like gasoline to the fire my body felt. My entire body ached for him. “We can make the rules. It doesn’t have to be how they want. I just want to be there when you come to bed.”

“Don’t you remember how much you hated it last time?” He scolded, leaving me there to sulk while he cashed out.

Gaining composure I followed him, “We were kids. I didn’t hate it…”

Dom’s mouth was wide and his eyes matched. All of him trying not to laugh as he chewed his gum. “All day training, endless meetings, shows at night, and exhausted afterwards. When I got back to the bus every night I could tell how much you hated it.”

“It was like being at your parents but worse. We shared a bed, Dom, but we weren’t having sex. There was zero privacy with your dad there and because I was with you two I had all eyes on me. I was afraid to even be myself.” Taking the bags we left the store behind and headed for his car.

Opening the door for me I slipped inside when he leaned down, his face mere inches from mine, “Selective memory, huh? That tiny ass shower, walking in on each other. We had some privacy.”

“It’s not just that, Dom. I was a ghost and no one expected any different. I was invisible all day until you dragged yourself to bed where we’d fool around but nothing else because your dad was on the same bus. I didn’t want to be reduced to some shitty orgasms, I wanted to be someone you shared your world with.”

The car ride back home was silent and I forced myself to look out the windows. I spent three weeks on the road with Dom and his dad before Dom was even signed with WWE. He was still training but they used him for storylines and Dom got to keep his dad company.

It was torture. I spent my days bored, my nights unbearable without touching Dom, and everything in-between had his dad close by. Enough to behave.

I didn’t want to repeat that, I just wanted to be close by Dom while I was pregnant.

“That’s bullshit. I was busy but you weren’t reduced to a fucking orgasm. We had plenty of firsts on the bus. Plenty… When you came on the road that was the first time we got drunk and fucked..” Behind the wheel, his hand found my inner thigh and gave it a squeeze.

“That was not the first time we got drunk…” my knees fell in his direction and I felt him hand only slid further up my thigh.

His cheeky smile couldn’t have had a better effect when he flashed his pearly whites at me. “No, but it was first time we fucked drunk, babe.”

[ flashback ]

Everyday felt like groundhogs day. Only I became more invisible as time went on. 

From the moment we woke up Dom would train, rehearse, do media, have meetings, and do a show. I would be left to my own devices, making friends with the crew or exploring outside the venue until I got restless. 

Every night Dom would crawl into the bed we shared, expecting me to want him when nothing had changed. I was still sabotaging every reason or feeling pointing to him. I still kept telling him we couldn’t and he would get frustrated enough to hate me each night I said no.

It wasn’t until I was venturing the venue I realized my backstage pass eliminated anyone asking me for ID when I added an alcoholic beverage to my order of fries. Dom and I were twenty, close of enough and had gotten drunk plenty of times while his parents were gone. Something felt especially dangerous about being invisible and drunk.

Not realizing how quickly I was slurping these drinks down I headed back to the dressing rooms, trying to find Dom before I missed bus call. Pushing the door open I saw a few wrestlers spread out and Dom getting undressed himself. “How did it go?” I said while sitting down on the bench behind him.

Looking around he almost panicked, “You can’t be in here. What are you doing?”

Granted it was the guys locker room but we were all adults. They all knew I was here for Dom. Standing up I felt my legs doing what they were suppose to but the floor kept moving, like an earthquake. “Okay, I’ll just go to the bus.”

His hand wrapped around my arm and pulled me back to his locked. Crowding me, almost hiding me, his low voice whispered, “Are you drunk?”

Laughing I responded, “Not yet.”

His hand smoothed down my back, stabilizing me, and cupping my ass like he knew I couldn’t stop. “Let’s get drunk and fuck… I have nothing tomorrow. No work. I miss you. I crawl into bed and miss you when you’re right here. I need you.”

His face was so close to mine I could feel his hot breath tickle my lips. Everything around us seemed to disappear and I didn’t care who was around to witness our tug of war of a relationship. 

“We share a bus with your dad…” I whispered so lightly it felt like a mistake as the words came out.

Dom’s lips brushed mine, pinning against his locker, and his hands trialing up my body. His hands stopped once he got to my breasts, hesitant, suddenly unfamiliar. We had been living in Miami on our own but we had given up teasing each other the way we did in high school. 

“I don’t care who sees or hears. I fucking need you. Every night for the past month I’ve been begging you to let me touch you… every night you say no. Sharing a bed with you in torture. I can feel you against me every night in barely fucking anything.” His voice shook, his hands shook, and his eyes begged me to understand. Dom was hurting for it and I was reason.

“It’s that bad?” I asked knowing the answer. My nipples responded the exact way he wanted when his hand squeezed my tits. 

“It’s you or someone else, mi amore.” He said sternly, clearly tired of our games.

My hands against his chest, I pushed him away, “Or someone else? Are you serious?”

“I’m not jacking off again. I fucking can’t. I need pussy. There’s a local bar, we’re all going to blow off steam and almost everyone is off tomorrow. I’ll meet you at the bus in half hour. I gotta shower.”

I could feel the buzz wearing off when I left the locker room only to bump into Randy. “Shit. You scared me.”

Smiling down at me from his staggering height and insane muscles he stopped, looking over his shoulder. “You going to the bar?”

“If Dom does.” 

“That’s your problem, you do everything for Dom. Is he doing enough for you?” Randy only paused for a second before heading into the locker room, not waiting for a response.

I went back to the bus, riffling through my suitcase to find a little black mini dress and some cute heels to wear. I could see Dom heading towards me in his off white shirt, black joggers and Vans looking sexier than I was prepared for. 

“Mi amore. You ain’t gonna take it easy on me at all.” Opening the bus door he pushed his back inside and put his arm around my shoulders before guiding us to some rental car. Slipping inside the back, someone else was driving, someone I didn’t know. 

The bar was busy, almost crowded, and the music was the perfect mix of 2000s and 90s. Waiting for our drinks next to the bar, Dom pressed himself against me, his hand on my waistline. Whispering into the shelf of my ear, “Are you going to let me fuck you or am I looking for someone else?”

It was crude, stern and I could feel his muscles etch into stone while he asked. He was hurting and now of that changed that I didn’t want to date. I couldn’t have us fail and lose him so it was easier to reject him.

“Dom…” 

“So you got all sexy for someone else? Cool. Don’t be mad later. Text me when you leave.” Grabbing his beer from behind me I wanted to explain but he didn’t give me the chance. 

I don’t know when Randy walked in or how long he was standing behind me when I twisted around hoping it was Dom again. “You know-” I cut myself off realizing it wasn’t him at all. “Sorry, thought you were Dom.”

“For you? I could be.” His crotch brushed my ass making me stand up straighter. “Is that all it takes to get you into bed? You’re too beautiful for such low standards.”

“Real smooth. Sorry if I don’t faint or spread my legs. I’ve been dealing with guys like you since fourth grade when my boobs came in.” I shoot back down the rest of my mixed drink.

Even more pressed against my back, his head dropped, speaking into my neck after pushing my hair away. “I’m not Dom, babe. I’m not begging. If I want something I take it. Look around, sweetheart, he’s moved on and you’re the one sulking at the bar alone.”

Twisting around to face him I glanced around the bar to see Dom flirting with some blonde. She was laughing and touching his arms. “It’s complicated.”

“You want him but keep rejecting him. He wants you and keeps begging. Sounds pretty simple. Do you want my help or not?”

I shook my head up and down ignoring the wedding band on his finger. 

“Order another drink. Relax. I’m gonna stand next to you like this and I’m gonna touch you, let me. He’s gonna notice and get jealous.” Randy’s hand smoothed down my ass, cupping and grabbing.

“Childs play. We tortured each other in high school with other people.” I sipped on my drink trying to imagine it was Dom instead. 

“Are you wearing panties?” He asked and I looked at him wildly like whatever he was about to say crossed some invisible line. “Sit down. Let me take them off, I’m gonna put them in my pocket.”

I down my drink and the shots Randy order, facing Dom flirting with some random girl I didn’t know. She straddled his lap and Dom let her. He wasn’t even looking in my direction. 

Pushing Randy aside I strutted over to him pissed off and drunk. “What are you doing. We sleep in the same bed every night and now you’re letting some slut violate your lap?”

Licking his lips he whispered to the petite blonde before saying loud enough to hear. “Let me handle this.” Following Dom to a quieter part of the bar he pinned me against the wall, his fists balled up and boxing me in.

“I told you. I need pussy. Don’t act like Randy wasn’t just touching your ass, Mami. Don’t act innocent.”

Pushing my hands against his chest, he didn’t move, smirking at me. “Fuck you.”

“Happily babe. I’d fuck that tight little pussy anytime,” his husky voice hit me harder than any amount of liquor. 

“You know we can’t.” I begged, exhausted and drunk all over again. “You think it’s not hard for me? The texts, the photos, watching you wrestle every night? It’s torture but I can’t ruin our friendship.”

“Years of avoiding us. Years of telling me we can’t even when we fucking do. What’s the point? Liv wants me. I don’t have to beg.” Lingering before walking away I felt every part of me hate him. Dom was cruel without having to be cruel and tonight was different. He meant it.

I watched Dom get drunk and handsy with Liv until it was unbearable. I knew I had to play the same game.

I stood between Randy’s legs letting his hands defile me in way I only wanted Dom to. Kissing my neck I giggled at how much it tickled while I watched Liv slowly convince him to go home with her.

This time felt different. We weren’t hurting each other but actually being selfish. Dom had needs and he wasn’t going to argue with me about it.

Forced to watch from afar I decided maybe this was the time to actually move on, stop playing games, stop waiting for me to stop being scared.

Feeling tipsy board-line drunk I couldn’t drink another sip of liquor when I watched Liv’s hand trail down his abs.

I mumbled to myself before letting Randy’s hand smooth up my thigh until it felt wrong. Nothing about Randy felt right.

“Just ignore them. Let’s get out of here…” My eyes kept glancing at Dominik and Liv pawing at each other like they were in heat when I couldn’t find Dom without putting my head on a swivel.

Appearing like I had summoned him with his arms crossed and a devilish scold. “Can I speak to you in private?”

Pushing Randy’s hands off of me I stood up and followed Dom, excusing myself quietly. Dom’s eyes bore into me until I felt like whatever disappointed speech he was about to give wasn’t even necessary anymore. By the bathrooms, the only quiet and private spot I waited for his cruelty.

“Are you fucking serious? Randy? Maybe you two belong together after all, you run to him every time.” Dom’s voice was ice cold when it skated down my spine.

I was too shocked to say anything. I couldn’t argue, if it wasn’t Dom somehow Randy was there to pick up the broken pieces. It wasn’t on purpose, not by me at least. “Why did you stomp over here, Dom? You don’t have to beg her, remember?”

His body was so close to mine I felt my chest labor every new breath. His eyes looked me over and hie tongue swiped along his bottom lip. “I know what you’re trying to do. You never had a hard time making me jealous. He’s not me, mi amore, he’s not gonna let wait for you to finally give it up.”

“Maybe I won’t make him,” I retorted.

I watched Dom’s hands ball up into fists and his mouth got tight. “You’re a fucking bitch. We’ve had sex, sweetheart, I know every fucking turn on because I gave them to you. I know when you’re about to come you close your eyes and bite your lip because we had to be quiet in my parent’s house. I know you like it from the back most because that’s how you fucked that toy when you wouldn’t fuck me. I know every scar you forgot how you got. I know every freckle. I know you’re ticklish on the inside of your right thigh, that you liked your nipples pinched not sucked, and you prefer my cock without a condom because it feels better. I fucking know you. We’ve had sex enough to know what we like. Why do you make this difficult?”

“Because I’ll hurt you eventually and I’ll lose you. I can’t lose you.” I pushed my hands against his chest, ready to run away again.

“Don’t make me do something I regret. Don’t make me fuck her because you won’t. I’m hurting, baby. I can’t sleep next you and not touch you anymore.” Dom voice shook and his eyes fell to the floor. Dom was really ever even hurt but the way his hands were shaking felt too real.

“I can feel your heart racing,” my palm laid even flatter. “Let’s go sit down, come with me.” I felt bad already but Dom was hurting in a way that was my fault without me realizing it. I should have found a new bed to sleep in, I should have had boundaries, anything to stop torturing him.

A dark corner of booths were vacant when I pushed Dom subtly to sit down. Climbing onto his lap I straddled him. “No one will see.”

His head rolled back and his knuckles swiped his nose. “Fuck. No, baby, I don’t want some quick fuck like you’re some rat. I wanna fucking touch you. I wanna see what’s under this dress. Fuck, I wanna taste you. You aren’t some cheap fuck.”

“Please, Dominik. You’re hurting, I’m gonna help.” Rolling my hips so lightly I tried to keep my breathing steady.

His eyes went wide and I watched him shift under me, creating space. “Wow. A pity fuck. I’m not drunk enough for that.” He exhaled a long drawn out breath before pushing me down beside him.

I felt defeated, stuck, trying to not ruin our friendship had became my sole focus and right now I hated it. I abandoned Randy, paid the bar tab and took an Uber back to the bus. Dom’s parents were big wine drinkers and his dad was fast asleep when I snagged the rest of his open bottle. Getting comfortable in our giant bed at the back of the bus I rewatched a show I had seen too many times to count.

Each glass of wine only made me more paranoid. I was checking socials, jumping at every sound, and praying he didn’t fuck her the way I knew he needed. The unmistakable sound of the bus door opened and closing forced me still, as still as I could be drunker than I was at the bar. Wine hit me more than any mixed drink did.

I didn’t bother to look sober when Dominik came through the bedroom door. Walking to his side I didn’t dare look but I could hear him getting undressed. I wanted to look so badly, it felt like it had been days since I’d seen Dom shirtless.

Laughing and struggling with his pants I realized he was as drunk as I was but yet I kept my eyes forward.

“How about that pity fuck now, baby?” In just a shirt and pair of boxer briefs he forced me to look at him.

“Dom… I was just trying to protect myself. It wasn’t a pity fuck, how is riding you in public pity?” The wine hit me even hard with every word as I shifted to sit up higher, closer to him standing at the edge.

“It was cheap, you didn’t want me to see you or touch you. Fuck, you didn’t even want it. I can’t fuck you like that, you aren’t some rat.” Taking off his shirt I took in every tattoo, every muscle, every way he was perfect.

“We're both drunk and your dad is sleeping in a bunk. I can get a hotel if the bed is a problem. I don’t want to torture you.” On my knees in the middle of the bed in his shirt and a thong I almost whimpered at the logic. I wanted to be reckless. I wanted to fuck Dom until I couldn’t anymore. I just couldn’t break his heart in the process.

“You’re sitting here in my shirt and a fucking thong, putting my feelings first when we both know you’re just as turned on as I am. You’re fucking made for me. I need you to take off those panties, mi amore.” Kneeling on the bed his mouth found mine and I couldn’t help kiss back. Dom’s warm tongue rolled against mine and I whimpered.

His fingers laced with the thin band of my thong, dragging it down my legs and tossing them to the side before stumbling back down to me. “Shhh, your dad.”

Dragging me down to the edge he stepped off enough to push his designer box briefs off. “I don’t care who hears as long as it’s my name you’re saying. Everyone knows we’re in love, you just refuse to admit it.”

My shirt lifted up while Dom’s hands cupped my tits. He said what I refused to, all in one sentence, not three words. “Dom,” I whimpered when he looked down between my legs.

“I know, it’s just a pity fuck so I don’t have to fuck my hand.”

On my knees I dragged him down as he sloppily fell on the bed. Straddling him again I looked down at him, still wearing his cross, looking up at me like I already broke his heart.

Sitting up I waited for him to guide himself inside me when I whispered, “Promise this doesn’t change anything?”

I sat down slowly, every inch stretching me out and sobering me. I moaned out the second our bodies were flush and every inch was buried inside me. 

“Why would it?” The disdain on his face was hard to ignore. None of this was going to be a good memory. “Nothing ever changes between us.”

Rolling my hips softly I felt his hands travel up the front of my shirt, squeezing gently. 

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I ruined it with feelings.” I stilled over him, not moving an inch when he fell back down to the bed, exhaling in this annoyed way.

Under me I watched him grow more and more unforgiving. “I left the bar alone. I pushed Liv away. I came home to you like I always do.” Pushing me off his lap he b-lined it to my cup of wine before continuing. “Like a good little boy. I’m always thinking of us when you don’t even want to be an us.”

“We are an us - just a different kind of us. Every time we fuck you pressure me into feeling guilty about not wanting to add feelings into the equation.” I was pleading with Dom to keep it simple: just sex. 

Sitting on my side of the bed he poured me a glass and drank straight from the bottle. “Because it’s never gonna be just fucking for me. I’ve had girlfriends and I’ve had sex, none of them are what happens between us.”

Taking another sip I wrapped my arms around him from behind, my body pressed against his back. “That’s why I avoid it, I keep saying no. Torture is easier.”

With my chin on his shoulder I looked down at his body and wished I was someone else. Someone who wasn’t broken the way I was. Taking my wine I pulled away from him, laying down and ignoring the still playing television on the wall. Instead I scrolled through socials. 

Without even trying I had drank my entire oversized glass of wine and scrolled to a video of Dom and Liv making out in a dark bar. I watched it more than a dozen times before Dom got my attention. “I’m gonna get some air. I’ll be back in an hour.”

Sitting up, more drunk, I asked him. “Are you going to fuck Liv?” The video was still looping on my screen in my hand. 

He stopped getting dressed and turned around to face me. “Do you want me to lie or tell the truth?”

“Lie,” my lip shook and I got up on my knees like his answer had power over me. 

“I’m getting some air. I’ll be back, you don’t have to wait up.” Dom looked me in the eye and I felt my heart panic. 

Taking off the only item of clothing, his shirt, off I sat back down on my heels. “Tell me the truth, Dom.”

Pulling down his shirt he stood there in front of the bed in the small room taking up the end of the bus. “Liv texted me. I’m gonna go over to her hotel room.”

“And fuck her because I ruined it.” 

Closing his eyes just a little long then needed as he paused. “You don’t get it, I’ve never needed pussy the way I do right now. I don’t know if it’s being pushed up against you at night, finding your fucking toy, I don’t know. All I know is I’m losing it. I can’t think straight. I can’t fucking rehearse or train. I can’t fucking sleep next you. I need pussy.”

“Don’t go. Don’t fuck her.” I pleaded with my hands clutching onto his shirt and pulling him closer.

Our mouths collided and our tongues immediately found heaven inside each other’s mouths. “Take these off. Take it all off.”

Dom pulled his shirt off effortlessly before pushing me back on the bed. Our mouths found each other again while my legs wrapped around him.

My hands pulled on the waistband of his joggers forcing him to push them down between our bodies. I forgot we weren’t alone when I moaned at loud at his knuckles brushing my clit while he lined himself up.

Dom was so hard it felt all too much when he pushed inside me. Every husky breath fell on my chest cause my back to arch for him. I always wanted Dom but this time felt rushed, no long let desire but a need. 

Dom’s thrusts were punishing, hard and pausing at the end just long enough to torture me back. “Jesus. Fucking. How can you feel this good.”

His phone on the nightstand buzzed and buzzed until he rolled his eyes and reached for his phone. Switching positions I sat on his lap while he laid against the pillows. Riding him, I rolled my hips and arched my back forcing my tits in his face when he answered. 

His finger over his mouth he silently told me to not moan even though his voice sounded labored at hello. 

I couldn’t hear it until he put it on speaker and dropped in on the pillow next to him. Relaxing more, he laid back, his hands working my tits. 

“Are you still coming? I’m wearing something you’ll love taking off of me..” the girly voice was easy to name. Liv.

Grabbing my hips, Dom forced me to pick up the pace when he hurried his face in my neck. We were both breathing heavily and the moans we were hiding wasn’t working. 

“I’m a little busy right now… Fuck… just like that baby.” Placing my hand over his mouth I muffled his moans. 

“You’re fucking that bitch? Are you serious?”

She started talking but Dom ended the call before I could register any real thoughts. All I could focus on was Dom jerking inside me and my legs shaking. 

Whispering against my lips, “Let me come inside you.”

I let him, just like I did before. There was something about the way he held onto me when he groaned his way to his orgasm that I couldn’t say no to. His arms around my waist he held me still, groaning into my chest, before he came inside me. 

He knew I loved him; he just didn’t know why I couldn’t.

“First time I realized we would always have separate lives to some degree.” I choked out knowing it was true. I would always be a guest when it came to his work and he would feel like a guest in our lives at home. There was no winning. No amount of me being by his side was going to change that fact.

“What does that mean?” I could feel his wrinkled brows glance at me with his hand strangled the steering wheel of his BMW.

I fixed my eyes out the window, “I’ll never be apart of that part of your life. Work takes up more of your life than anything else and I’m forced to piece it together Monday nights. I didn’t even know you were going to carry on some fake relationship with Rhea. I’m stuck at home watching.”

Starring at me instead of the road he snickered, “And I don’t feel the same about you being home? Getting to live the life I want to be living with you? You went on the road and hated it. Now they want you to partner with Randy and suddenly you want to travel with me?”

“Fuck you. This has nothing to do with him.” I argued. I couldn’t say I need to be there so you don’t cheat. That was only part of the reason, really.

The rest of the drive was quiet, so silent it almost felt heavy and when he pulled into the driveway I barely waited for him to turn the car off before I headed inside.

Last time I was on the road was torture and I was willing to give it another shot for our relationship. We weren’t kids, we couldn’t get drunk and fuck our problems away.

[galacticwildfire]

Early Mornings

Poe Dameron x Solo!oc

summary: poe dameron and hope solo have places to be, but the only place they want to be is in bed

tags/warnings: essentially a non-sexual situationship (they're disgustingly in love but in denial), cuddling, flirting, kissing that borders on smutty, references to sex and jealousy, some suggestive dialogue, a little angst and brief reference to trauma, but sickeningly sweet fluff overall

word count: 2.8k

a/n: this is a scene I've written for my series fire meet gasoline on ao3 but it's been sitting in my notes app for too long to not share it as a stand alone one shot. also gif for obvious reasons.

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The feeling of Poe's arms unconsciously tightening around my body's what stirs me awake in the early hours of the morning. While I can vaguely remember falling asleep listening to the steady beat of his heart it seems that sometime in the night we ended up with my back flush to his chest and our limbs tangled. Any space we'd left between us in the late hours of last night long gone.

My lips brush the arm he has tucked beneath my head as I look back over my shoulder, finding his head buried in the crook of my neck and still sound asleep. The feeling of him nuzzling into me's a now familiar sensation I let myself bathe in for as long as I can before forcing myself to remember that we have places to be.

The only downside to these mornings is the tragic fact that they have to end, especially when physically removing myself from him is a feat in itself. I may as well be struggling against a Wookie with the amount of strength it takes to pull myself from Poe Dameron's arms. Although I'd never want it any other way.

BB-8 beeps good morning and after returning it I glance at the time, reluctantly and very carefully untangling myself from Poe before he can wake up, a learned skill. Knowing the amount of sleepless nights we've both had in the past weeks I decide to take the first shower to let him sleep that little bit longer. 

My spare flight suit’s folded in the drawer that had been empty until recently, along with the towel that’s made its way into Poe’s room along with other necessities. Despite having everything that I need when I sleep over I haven’t been able to give up the shirt he’d loaned me to sleep in, not that he seems to mind. 

Finding my hairpins on his bathroom counter drives home how routine this arrangement’s become to the point that I don’t know how I slept any other way, how mere months ago I was out there in the Outer Rims alone and now… now I can’t imagine doing any of this without him. 

He’s still asleep when I come out in my flight suit, finding him with the blanket bundled up in his arms in place of where I’d been. The sight has my heart clenching and BB-8 beeps quietly to ask if he should wake him up. 

“I’ve got it,” I say, leaning down to rub his head as I make my way over to Poe, reluctant to wake him up but people are going to start asking questions if we’re both late to our third meeting this week. My mother would start asking questions, and this is something I wouldn’t quite know how to explain to her. 

 “Poe,” I hum as I sit down on the edge of his bed, running my fingers through his messed curls until he begins to stir. “Morning.”

He blinks in confusion when he can’t feel me beside him, but the tension leaves his face when his eyes find mine.

“Hey,” he smiles tiredly and murmurs “What are you doing all the way over there?”

“We’ve got a meeting.”

“We do?”

“Come on, Commander,” I say, brushing back the dark curls that fall across his forehead. “I thought it was your job to know these things.”

His eyes are warm as he leans into my touch. “I’ve been a little preoccupied.”

“That can easily be fixed-” I begin, slowly withdrawing my hand until he stops me. 

“No, no,” he quickly says, and I’m smiling as he pulls my hand back and holds it to his cheek. His eyes fall shut as his lips brush my palm, his morning stubble a welcome feeling. “Don’t you dare.”

I can’t help but lean down to kiss his cheek, bumping his nose with mine as I insist “Come on or we’ll be late. I’ll grab our caf and see you there.”

“Hey, caf’s my job,” he protests as I reluctantly pull back but relents. “How late are we?”

“We’ve got about half an hour, so take a shower and I’ll meet you in the mess.”

“Yes, Captain,” he says, and rolls onto his back while still holding my hand in his, looking up at me with his brows drawn together as he questions “Since when are you up early?”

“Since I’m actually sleeping well,” I say and he gives me a tired smile that I’m helpless to adore. 

“Me too, sweetheart.”

“Yeah?” I say softly, knowing that hasn’t been the case for either of us these past weeks. 

He nods and brings my hand back to his lips, kissing my knuckles. “I mean, I sure as hell don’t wanna get out of bed.” 

I catch the glint of mischief in his eye the moment before he tugs me back into bed with him, somehow managing to roll me so I’m lying on my back in the small space and he’s hovering above me - not that I’m putting up much of a fight. 

“Which is why I got out of it before you woke up,” I whine as he nestles his head in the crook of my neck and slips an arm back around my waist, intentionally pinning me to the bed with his bodyweight to keep me from moving. “Since someone likes to cling to me like a sloth.”

He lifts his head up with a proud smile. “A handsome sloth.”

“That’s true,” I agree, helpless to deny that as he bumps my nose. “But that face won’t help you when you’re late.”

“It’s helped me so far,” he dismisses, his stubble grazing my skin as he kisses my forehead. “Might not be enough to get me out of trouble but it’s enough to keep you here.”

My jaw drops a little at the audacity but I can’t argue considering he knows damn well it’s the truth as I shake my head at him. “That damn face - my one weakness.”

“It’s alright sweetheart, yours is mine as well,” he assures me as he peppers kisses across my face. “Those eyes… you know I can’t say no to you so-” I whine again as he pulls back and moves his body off mine, settling between me and the wall. “I’ll let you get going and I’ll meet you in the mess.”

He knows he has me where he wants me and I couldn’t care less as I tug him back by the fabric of his shirt and he certainly doesn’t make any effort to resist as he gathers me back up in his arms, settling over me with his elbow propping him up this time. 

“No, you’re stuck with me now,” I decide and I’m holding his face as I pepper kisses from his cheek to the bridge of his nose, our bodies melding as our legs tangle together.

He kisses my jaw while he teases “Isn’t being clung to all night enough for you?” It’s then he turns his head to look at me and his lips incidentally brush mine, although it’s far from the first time. 

Still, his breath hitches and my voice trembles slightly as I ask “What do you think?”

He searches my eyes, seeking whatever it is he’s looking for before our lips meet. Again, far from the first time. Another in a long series of kisses we’ve sworn wouldn’t happen again and yet we always end up here. The softness of his lips has me trying to recall every reason we’ve used for why this can’t happen. 

The fact that we’re a disaster at the best of times. 

That we both have the tendency to let our emotions cloud our judgement until it ends in screaming fights in the middle of the hangar. 

The fact that he’s still my commanding officer and we’re on fragile enough footing with high command as it is, even if everyone knows we operate as partners. 

That all it would take is one bad call in the field and we’re both dead. 

The fact that he’s my best friend, my partner, the one damn person in this galaxy I trust whole heartedly. 

Knowing that I’d lose my mind if anything ever happened to him.

If I lost him-

My back arches off the bed as his tongue slips into my mouth and he swallows the sound that comes from the back of my throat as the hand that was under me moves to squeeze my waist. He gasps softly as my fingers slip into his hair in return, gently tugging at his curls to pull him closer - needing him closer. 

It’s when my legs hook around his hips that BB-8’s beeping reminds us that he’s still there and we both flush in embarrassment. R2’s been around long enough that he doesn’t linger past a certain time, even when Poe and I’s affection is innocent, but despite being a romantic sweet BB-8 isn’t prepared to see anything more than this.

And Poe and I certainly aren’t prepared to put on a show for him. 

Still, I can’t help but burst out laughing when Poe murmurs in my ear “We have an audience.” He kisses my forehead again before clearing his throat. “Hey buddy, why don’t you go see what R2’s up to?”

He gives an offended beep, both at his dismissal and us forgetting his presence, before finding his way out and we share a look of mortified guilt. I’m trying to hold back embarrassed laughter while Poe’s head dips to my shoulder to kiss where my collarbone's exposed by the partially zipped flightsuit before he again slips into the bed beside me, holding me close with a caressing hand over my hip. 

“I’m guessing you haven’t had to kick BB-8 out before?” I tread, knowing that I’m the only person Poe’s had sleeping over since he’s joined the Resistance, but I can’t help the pang of jealousy at the thought of him being with someone else like this.

“Like I’ve told you sweetheart, I’ve been living like a Jedi since before Leia recruited me,” he says, settling those thoughts with a kiss to my forehead. “I think he’s just mad I’ve been taking your attention away from him.”

“I still give him plenty of love,” I assure Poe and he tugs me closer, his lips lingering on my temple as I bury my face in his neck. “Five more minutes, then we’ll get up.”

“What happened to we’re gonna be late?” he teases and I just groan. “Hope…”

“I know, I know,” I pout, rolling back enough so that my face rests beside his on the pillow we’ve shared more often than not the past few weeks. “I just wanna stay here with you.”

I search his eyes, praying he hears what I really want to say. That I want it to be just you and me. No First Order. No protocol. Just us. Raw and mostly unfiltered.

He plays with my fingers, kissing each one individually before he meets my eye and I know that he does. “How about after the meeting I swap patrols with Karé so we can go out together?” he suggests. “It’s been a while since it’s been just the two of us and our x-wings.”

“Because command nearly has a nervous breakdown every time we go out there together,” I remind him, lacing our fingers together. “I believe the words ‘tie-fighter magnets’ were used.”

Neither of us can pretend we aren’t proud of that label. 

“Well, it’s a good thing that the two best pilots in the galaxy can take them out then,” he says but I don’t miss the way his face falls when he remembers what happened the only time we couldn’t. Even now I can't shake the sound of the pure fear in his voice when he pulled me from the crash. He kisses my hand again and tries to push it from his mind but the memory lingers. “It’s you and me, and the patrols Leia’s got scheduled shouldn’t be dangerous.”

“Famous last words,” I say and he can’t argue with that considering command’s right when it comes to our track record. “But I’d like that. You and me.” 

“Me too sweetheart,” he says, stretching as he lays back, both of us ignoring the fact that we’re definitely not making it to breakfast before the meeting. “But first I’ve gotta shower, get dressed-” he trails off, deciding to be a little shit as he grins “Unless you wanna join?”

I’m matching his grin with a playful slap to his chest. “Then we’d definitely be late.”

“I didn’t hear a no.”

He can see me blushing red and he still wears that same cocky smile that I’m more than tempted to kiss off his face. I don’t know how many times he and I have been on this ledge, teasing and tempted to go further, only to treat this with more caution than we’ve given to anything else in our lives.

“Are you trying to call my bluff? Because we both know how that ends.”

This is one thing, waking up together and sharing these kisses that we don’t acknowledge. This we can still fool ourselves into believing is the pinnacle of platonic love, a playful extension of the affection we share - an unconventional partnership.

Sex is another thing entirely. 

When we’d first met and things got heated I wanted it, and I wanted it with him, but we both know that this partnership is too delicate to handle those emotions on top of all the others we can scarcely deal with on our best days. 

“Oh I know,” he assures me. “Considering the last time I tried to call your bluff you took a shot at me.”

“You were the one who said I wouldn’t do it,” I remind him, blaming that one on a bout of temporary insanity on both our parts after a dogfight gone wrong. “What can I say? You drive me crazy.”

“I know,” he grins. “The good kind of crazy I hope.”

“Always,” I smile before correcting. “Well, most of the time.”

“Alright, we’d be lying if we didn’t say most,” he admits and we share a laugh knowing that everyone on base, even our own squadron, was at their wits end with us not that long ago but here… it’s just us and no one else.

Unfortunately that has to come to an end, but not before I press a chaste kiss to his lips. “Breakfast in fifteen.”

“Yes, Captain,” he smiles as I sit upright, but raises an eyebrow upon deciding to try his luck. “I can make it in ten if you give me another one.”

And so I do, only for us to end up right back where we started; in the bed with his hands on my waist and mine tangled in his hair. The gentle swipe of his tongue across my bottom lip has me planning to use the dwindling privileges that being the General's daughter brings to get away with being late by at least another half an hour, although Poe puts a stop to that as if he wasn’t the one who started this. 

“Poe,” I whine when he pulls away, sitting up properly and leaving me with my head on his pillow. "Why do you do this?"

He still has the audacity to play around and take his sick enjoyment in riling me up. “We have meetings, remember?”

My eyes narrow at him. “Bastard.”

“What was that?”

“Bastard,” I repeat and he grins. 

“I’m going to take that as a compliment.”

“Mmhmm.”

“Come on beautiful,” he murmurs as he pulls me upright and I just laugh. 

“Oh no, don’t ‘come on’ me when you’re the one that dragged me back into bed.”

He gives an unapologetic shrug but the warmth in his eyes makes up for it. “You missed the beautiful part.”

I shake my head and he kisses me again before I have to put my hands on his chest to keep enough distance between us that I can actually get out of the bed and away from it without him pulling me back into it. 

“We’re gonna be so late and you still need to get ready,” I lecture, knowing I’ll be the one getting the blame for it considering he’s the favourite. 

“Give me ten minutes to get ready and I’ll meet you in the mess,” he promises, extending a pinkie out to me but I’m not naive enough to get close enough for him to pull me back in. “Considering your track record Leia expects us to be about twenty minutes late anyways.”

I scrunch my face up at him but he only smiles. 

“You’re really cute when you’re pretending to be mad at me.”

The smile I can’t force back only proves his point. “Shut up.”

“Make me,” he challenges, having woken up intent to test me but I'm not falling into his trap again. 

“After the meeting,” I promise before heading out the door to find BB-8 waiting outside for us with R2. “Come on, you can keep me company while he drags himself out of bed.”

We're halfway to the mess when we come across Jess who's in a rush. "There you are, Threepio's been looking for you and Poe. Have you seen him?"

"Yeah he's just in the shower," I say as I continue on my way, only to freeze a little as she turns her head back incredulously.

"How do you know-"

"BB-8 told me," I quickly follow up and she blinks at me in disbelief before she shakes her head and keeps walking, but at this point Poe and I have accepted the fact that our squadron believes we're hiding some illicit affair from them.

Then again, it's always poor Jess who seems to catch us in compromising positions. Although as long as it's her and not my mother, or maker forbid Threepio, I can live in peace with that.