#first love and other complications

[meagancandraw]

You ever think about how neither of them got to say goodbye?

[formosusiniquis]

When Mike Wheeler, red faced and still faintly tear stained, asks him how he knew he liked both Steve doesn’t know how to tell him it was his sister.

Before Nancy Wheeler it had only been boys. Before Nancy Wheeler Steve had been sure he was gay and knew well enough to keep it to himself; dating around enough to earn himself a protective reputation. Before Nancy Wheeler there’d been Marcus Summers, from the baseball team, during freshman year. Steve had gone to every game, and had been forced to make up excuses about schoolwork and his other commitments when asked why he hadn’t tried out for himself. Before Nancy Wheeler there’d been Tommy Hagan. The summer between seventh and eighth grade had been very kind to Tommy, he was sunkissed and boy next door sweet, Steve had wanted to hold his hand and count the freckles across the bridge of his nose. 

Before Nancy Wheeler there’d been his first love, a boy who only visited one summer, the year Steve turned ten. His name had changed every time they hung out but he’d favored E’s. Eli, Emmett, Elliott, Eric, Excalibur, Excelsior, and once for about an hour Wayne. His hair brushed his chin in pretty brown curls and his big brown eyes were always bright with excitement. He always got storm off mad when any of the other boys they’d played with that summer said he was acting like a girl, E would run off to the woods and Steve would always follow. E always came up with the best games anyway, he didn’t like playing soccer or HORSE or anything else with rules that couldn’t be bent; he preferred imagination games where they were knights or wizards. He didn’t laugh when Steve said he always liked playing house, but never wanted to be the dad because why would he want to be someone who never wanted to spend any time with his kids. E who, while insisting on being called Samwise all day, was his first kiss.

Cause he knows what Mike wants to hear. He’s seen the way Mike and Will have danced around each other since the last portal closed. He’s heard the things Mike has said to and about Will. He’s heard all about the week that Will was in the Upside Down. He’s heard all about the summer of ‘85. He’s heard all about the final off again that seems to officially mark the end of Mike and El romantically. He knows that Mike wants him to say that he’d never even thought about boys before he met Eddie. That there’s just something special about Eddie that makes him want to give up his lady killing ways. That Eddie was different. That it was okay that he was having these scary new thoughts, maybe Will was just an exception.

And Steve doesn’t know how to have that conversation. When he realized he liked both it was a relief, that maybe he could have something normal and wouldn't have to spend his life lying or hiding. 

But Eddie was different. Eddie was special. Eddie was probably it for Steve which is scary in a different way that he’s not ready to touch yet -- not when it’s only been three months.

There’s never been another girl since Nancy Wheeler, not really

There will never be another boy after Eddie Munson.

So he tries to help, as best he can. It’s easier with Eddie there, not quite dozing against his shoulder -- the kid’s emergencies always seem to come so late at night these days. “When I was ten, there was a boy whose name kept changing who decided prince charming should get to kiss his faithful knight. And when I was sixteen, your sister-”

Mike’s goodwill diminishes quickly as his sister gets introduced to the conversation.

“Stevie,” Eddie says. It’s not an admonishment for bringing up Nancy. It’s awestruck and watery. “You remember that?”

“Of course I remember the first boy I ever loved," that word catches up with him a second later. Remember. 

Cause there's Eddie with his riot of brown curls and his Bambi eyes. Eddie, who has explained why soft feminine words chafe against his skin leaving him itchy and anxious. Eddie, who has an Uncle in Hawkins. Eddie who moved to town the summer before he entered high school with a buzzed head and his mother's last name. Eddie who finally settled into an E he liked best.

"Wheeler, here's a tip from me to you," Eddie says, his advice is always better received than Steve's anyway, "if you have to ask you probably already know."

"Straight people don't really spend much time wondering if they aren't really straight," Steve agrees.

They don't rush Mike out the door, a crisis is a crisis and even in the wake of new discoveries Mike deserves to be heard out. Deserves a chance to cry and rage and feel those emotions someplace safe from his Reaganite father -- just as much as Will deserves to have someone who knows what they want come to him, deserves better than experimentation.

They cross the bridge from late into early by the time Mike sets off. The sun is creeping up over the horizon and Mike looks solid, certain; the dawn hints at the man he is growing up to be. Though every instinct of Steve's begs him to drive the kid home, Eddie's soft hand lingering at his hip holds him fast. They wave instead, encouraging Mike to go home and to bed before he does anything; knowing his front bike tire is already pointed toward the Byers-Hopper place.

"The first boy you ever loved, huh, Stevie?" Eddie teases before the door has even managed to click shut.

"And the last, I'm hoping, if I play my cards right."

"You were always pretty good at that. You were the only person that summer who called me by my name, except Wayne."

"It was your name." He knows that's too simple. Knows how hard Eddie has had it, continues to have it. But that summer it had been that simple, Eddie trying on names like shirts each one fitting until they didn't. "For what it's worth, I like Eddie a lot more than Excalibur."

"Oh fuck off, I was going through a fantasy knight phase. Which I know you remember."

"Right a phase, and how much longer is this fantasy 'phase' going to last?"

They're the kind of tired that makes you feel drunk, when Eddie tackles Steve and sends them both to the floor and to giggles. Eddie might not have been his bi awakening, but Steve is pretty fine with him being his everything else.

[strangersteddierthings]

Porcelain Steve - Part 2

Part One🦇Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five🦇Part Six🦇Part Seven🦇Part Eight🦇Part Nine

There's commotion from the house, loud enough for Eddie and Robin to hear it outside. Both turn towards the house, Robin halfway to standing up already, and the door is pushed open, El falling through it to get outside.

Someone calls El's name from inside, but she doesn't even turn around. She marches across the lawn to Eddie and Robin. "They are too loud and angry in there. Take me somewhere else."

Joyce makes it out the door next and with a raise of her hand behind her, one finger up, she stops everyone in the doorway. She descends the steps of the porch and Eddie is in awe about how much power she wields because no one follows after. Not even Dustin, who is the absolute worst at following orders.

"Whatever you need," Eddie answers El. He doesn't think she's blinked since exiting the house.

"We can go to Steve's," Robin offers. She's standing now and roots in a pocket of her jeans before pulling out a keychain with three keys on it. "Maybe it'll help being around all his stuff?"

"We can take my van," Eddie offers.

"That would be great," Joyce says, reaching out and grabbing one of El's hands in her own, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Come on, let's get some shoes on."

"Thank you," El says, shooting Eddie a smile before her eyes drop down to look at Steve. A frown returns to her face before she turns and heads back into the house with Joyce.

Robin turns to Eddie, offering a hand to him. She's probably offering to pull him up, but he holds Steve out to her instead. He doesn't understand why she looks surprised at that, but she takes Steve, cradles him close to herself like he had done earlier.

Eddie climbs into his van, starting it and reaching over to turn the dial on the radio down so it's not blasting at the loud volume he keeps it on. Robin hovers with the passenger door open. "You getting in, Buckley?"

"Yeah, eventually. Just thinking if I should crawl in the back. Let Joyce and El have the seats?"

"Oh. Yeah. Probably."

She's absently petting Steve's hair, eyes slightly misty. He watches as she blinks away the tears before letting out a big sigh. "I just want to pass Steve off to whoever will be wearing a seatbelt. I've seen how you drive, Munson."

Eddie catches the teasing tone in her voice and laughs. "Fair. I'll take corners about 3 miles per hour slower than I normally do."

Robin laughs. "That's probably still ten above the speed limit."

"You should not speed," El's voice makes both Robin and Eddie jump. She's standing just behind Robin, and a quick look around shows Joyce on the porch, a worried look on her face but she makes no move to step off the porch.

"Is your mom coming?" Eddie asks. A complicated set of expressions crosses El's face and he's worried he might have asked the wrong thing somehow but then El answers.

"No. Just me. I will sit in the center," She slides past Robin and crawls up onto the bench seat of Eddie's van, scoots across the seat until she butts up against Eddie, and searches for the seatbelt before securing it.

"Here," Robin holds Steve out to El, who takes him, before Robin pulls herself into the van, shutting the door and buckling herself in.

Eddie doesn't go immediately because he's a bit busy watching El look at Steve. She's holding him like she's not sure how. She wraps one hand around an arm and his waist and uses the other to poke a porcelain cheek, right over the two moles just below his cheek bone. He can see the creases of a frown on her face.

"Are you okay, El?" Robin asks, which is good because he was about to, and he thinks his voice will come out more watery.

"I...," El looks up to Robin, then back down to Steve, "I do not know."

It hits Eddie like a freight truck just how young El is. He has to put the van in gear and drive to give his mind something to focus on or he's going to do something stupid, like bear hug El and ugly cry into her grown out buzzcut.

"Hey, that's okay," Robin says, "it's okay to not know how you're doing. This is a complicated situation."

"I barely know Steve," El says, which surprises Eddie. They all seem close, so much so that Eddie still feels like an intruder at times. Still, there is a tone to her voice that seems off to Eddie. "We do not have a reason to hang out. Not like everyone else. Lucas plays basketball with him. Dustin and Max claim him as their brother. Even Erica-"

El stops talking abruptly. Eddie glances towards her but she's staring down at Steve, so Eddie flicks his eyes to Robin, who is already looking at him and making an 'I don't' know' gesture with her hands before Eddie returns his eyes to the road.

"Mike does not care for Steve much," El continues suddenly, the tone still there and Eddie feels like he knows it, "I spent so much time with Mike that I think I did not care for Steve, either. Not on purpose. But- but in a way that you do not care about a thing because it is not important in your life?"

No one says anything else, because what can they say? Shortly after, Eddie pulls into the driveway of the Harrington residence behind Steve's Bimmer. "Alright ladies. Once more unto the breach!"

They crawl from the van and Robin unlocks the door. El and Eddie step through first. El moves into the house, clutching at Steve like he's her favorite stuffed toy. Robin freezes in the doorway, looks like she's not even breathing.

"Buckley?" Eddie is whispering and he doesn't know why.

"Sorry, sorry," Robin exhales a shaking breath. "It's just- Nancy and I- sorry. Uh, El, do you need us to do anything?"

She glides past Eddie to catch up to El and he is left to close the door. He wonders if, maybe, Robin should have also stayed at the Byers-Hopper home. It had been her and Nancy that had come to check in on Steve just this morning. It wasn't unusual to not hear from Steve sometimes (everyone needed their time to just be alone) but today must have marked Too Many Days for Robin because she'd called Nancy for a ride, and they'd found this. A locked house, Steve's car still here, and resting against the pillows of Steve's bed had been the porcelain replica. Nothing out of place, no ransom notes, nothing to make it seem like nefarious going ons had been taking place. Just the Harrington house, devoid of a flesh and blood Steve Harrington.

Coming back must be surreal.

"Eddie, you okay?"

"Oh, uh, yeah," Eddie startles a little. He'd been lost in his own head for a moment there.

"Can El have your bandana? She needs something to use as a blindfold."

"Yeah," Eddie moves through the house, to the living room where El has sat herself on the floor in front of the TV. Steve is lain in her lap, a mirror of the image Eddie must have made on the front lawn. He pulls the bandana from his pocket, folding it diagonally before offering it out to El.

She takes it, eyes flicking up to Eddie's. She looks sad. "Can you make the TV staticky?"

"On it."

Robin closes all the blinds and curtains, making the house a bit darker and Eddie gets the TV on, white noise filling the room.

They sit in that white noise for what feels like an eternity but when Eddie checks his watch, is actually about 22 minutes, before El suddenly yanks the makeshift blind fold off with a frustrated huff.

"It is not working!" She shouts.

Eddie looks to Robin, but she looks just as lost about all this as Eddie feels. Well. Eddie's always been good with kids. He'll make the attempt. "El, you said earlier you didn't know if you were okay. Maybe figuring that out will help? It can't be easy to get into the right headspace with other thoughts floating around. "

She looks down at Steve, then back to Eddie. Her eyes are wet. "I am scared."

Eddie nods, "me too. This is scary."

"I am scared I will not find him," she says, then drops her voice to a whisper to continue, "but I am more scared that I will."

He really wishes Joyce would have come with. Or Hopper, Jonathan, Will, anyone who actually knows El. He thinks she need a kind of comfort he and Robin cannot provide. "Well, El, what's the part that's really scary?"

She's quiet for a long time. "Steve has never needed saving before. Not by me. What if I can't?"

"Oh El, it's not on you to save him," Robin says, sliding off the couch to be on the floor with them. She must have more information than Eddie about why El would say that, which makes since, because Robin was part of the conversation when they'd decided to have El try and reach out to Steve. "It's not fair that it's only you that can do this, but we didn't ask expecting you to fix it. That's not the pressure we meant to put on you. All we want is a confirmation. And if you can't, that's okay, too. That'll be okay."

El frowns, bottom lip quivering before she reaches down and picks up Steve, shoving him into Eddie's arms before she launches herself at Robin, arms around her neck and burying her face into Robin's neck. Robin looks startled, eyes wide going to Eddie. He pulls Steve to his neck, in an imitation of the position El is in, then hugs him with one arm and uses his other hand to pet at Steve's hair, trying to make meaningful eyes contact with Robin. She gets with the program, hugging El and petting the back of her head.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. You want us to call Joyce or Hopper over?" Robin soothes, her body now gently rocking with El in her lap.

There's a muffled, quiet 'no' from El but that's it. She doesn't say anything else, or move, for a couple minutes.

El pulls back finally, away from Robin to sit up straight. "Okay. I am ready again. Please hand me Steve."

He does, belatedly realizing he was still cuddling and petting Steve. Oh. He really hopes that if Steve is the doll, that he doesn't have any sort of touch receptors going on. That'll be embarrassing.

Steve settled in her lap again, blindfold back on, El tries again.

It takes about two minutes before Eddie watches a bit of blood trickle out of her nose. He shoots a worried look to Robin before lifting a hand, intent on reaching out to El, but before he fully extends his arm, Robin stops him with a shake of her head.

Another eternity passes before El gasps and pulls the blindfold off.

"What happened? Did you find him?" Robin asks.

El looks from Robin to Eddie, then down to Steve, then back up to Eddie, a small smile on her face. "Yeah. He wants me to tell you 'thank you, for taking the time to explain because Dustin never does.' He said you would know what he was talking about?"

"Holy shit." He and Robin say it at the same time. Robin scrabbles over the couch, rather than around it, and dashes out of sight. Eddie doesn't think he could make his legs work if he wanted to. Steve can hear them. (Ha Dustin!)

El deposits Steve into Eddie's arms. "It is him. He does not know what happened, either. He can hear and see. He appreciates that you did not let the sun blind him."

"El, you are the most amazing person I've ever met," Eddie says and watches the grin grow on El's face. "Alright. Well, the first step to a solution is knowing and now we know."

Robin pops back into view behind the couch, "everyone is on their way here now. I tried to tell Will we'd go back to them, 'cause y'know, less people and cars to worry about but I guess they want the base of operations to be here. How mad do you think Steve would be if I got copies of my key made for everyone?"

"I can ask him," El offers.

"Nah," Eddie grins, "it's always better to ask forgiveness than permission. And you'll forgive us, won't you, Stevie?"

Steve, of course, does not answer, but it does settle something inside Eddie knowing that he hears the question.

Steve's a doll. They know that for sure. Now, they can find a solution.

[redrobin-detective]

Something I wonder about Simon and Betty's relationship is how long they were together before the whole crown ordeal. But they were engaged, you say. My aunt (in)famously met my uncle and had a ring on her finger in 8 weeks. We've seen that both Betty and Simon were both weird outcasts, crazy determined and a pinch insane. I would not be surprised if they decided they'd met their one true love and got engaged super quick.

My point being, Betty's shifting to revolve around Simon and Simon's rose colored glasses of their relationship feels very much like New Love. They're people who love each other and love being a couple but still haven't quite figured out how to coexist together, as two people in a partnership. I feel like if they'd known each other longer, lived together longer, some of the issues we're seeing would have probably self resolved.

I don't think their relationship is toxic nor is it totally perfect. It's two lonely, most likely neurodivergent people in a relatively early relationship still figuring out how it works. Everything that happened afterwards: the crown, the seperation, the time travel, the magic/madness/sadness just exemplified issues they had both as individuals and as a couple.

[transmascissues]

a lot of people aren't going to want to hear this, but if you actually want trans men to stop "playing up" our assigned sex/"female socialization" or "walking back" on our manhood in conversations, here's what you need to do:

accept that it is possible for men (yes, 100%-men-and-nothing-but-men) to experience gendered oppression, including misogyny. accept that it is entirely possible for captial-m Men to have a lifetime worth of experiences with misogyny. accept that it is possible for men to be not just hurt by but systemically oppressed under the patriarchy. accept that being oppressed for one's gender does not require any proximity to womanhood. accept that it is possible for men to experience the things you call "women's issues". stop calling the misogyny specifically directed at us "misdirected". stop acting like our manhood somehow cancels out the oppression we've experienced. stop considering yourself more of an authority on our oppression than we are just because we're men and you're not. stop supporting activist spaces that expect men to "shut up and listen and be good allies" while everyone else task about their oppression. stop simplifying the complexities of gendered oppression to "man = privileged, woman = oppressed". you would distance yourself from your identity too if people used it to gaslight and silence you about your lived experiences.

stop acting like being a man makes someone somehow "less trans" or "less queer". learn how to view all trans people as equally trans and equally part of the community. unlearn your tendency to view manhood and masculinity as inherently less queer than other gender expressions. stop talking about how trans men are "the weakest link" or making "jokes" about how much worse we are than other people in the community or blaming us for all of its problems. stop acting like being men means we have less of a right than other trans people to speak on what it's like to be trans. you would distance yourself from your identity too if you knew that doing so would mean being more accepted by the community you rely on.

deconstruct your belief that cis manhood is the gold standard of manhood. stop telling trans men that it's transphobic for them to assert that their experience of manhood might be different from that of a cis man. stop trying to pressure trans men into never acknowledging how their transness makes their experience of manhood unique by accusing them of "misgendering themselves" or "saying trans men aren't real men". accept that trans men are not cis men and never will be cis men and are still 100% very real men anyway because cis manhood is only one type of manhood. understand that if you hear "trans men are different from cis men" and think that means "trans men aren't men", you're the one who's actually saying cis men are the only real men. you would distance yourself from your identity too if people said that claiming that identity required being exactly the same as a group you're not a part of.

get yourself a personality that isn't just talking about how much you hate men. stop telling all the men in your life how much you hate men and acting like their willingness to just take it is a measure of their moral goodness. stop making "jokes" about how trans men are "joining the enemy". stop talking about how much you wish you weren't attracted to men, or how much of a shame it is that someone else is. stop acting like womanhood and femininity are inherently pure and good and harmless while manhood and masculinity are inherently gross and evil and dangerous. stop acting like there's something inherently corruptive about existing as a man that fundamentally changes someone the second they come out as one. stop acting like it's funny to say you want to kill all of us as if there aren't countless people actively working to eliminate us. you would distance yourself from your identity too if everyone you knew spent their free time talking about how much they hate it.

help put spaces and resources into place that take trans men into consideration. stop getting mad at trans men who "call themselves men but still want access to women's spaces" and start looking at the world around you and asking why we want access to those spaces. open your eyes and realize that there is nothing out here for us, that all of the spaces and resources catered toward our experiences are marketed for everyone except us. ask yourself where the hell we're supposed to go when every clinic specializing in care for our bodies is a "women's clinic", when the only men's shelters are really just for cis men and the people advocating for "inclusive" shelters see all men as a threat to be warded off, when no one is willing to make an actual place for us and we have no choice but to just find the place that looks the least risky and hope they let us stay. put some effort into making this world more hospitable for us. you would distance yourself from your identity too if the resources you need to survive were offered for every identity but yours.

actually show trans men some fucking love for once in your life. find it in your heart to actually give a shit about trans men, to see us as real whole people who are deserving of love and community, to see our needs and feelings as worth your time and energy. care about us, care about our lives, care about our health and happiness and well-being instead of abandoning us the second we come out as men. start valuing our presence in the community and realize that we actually have a lot to offer if you could just listen to us. ask yourself why you're so comfortable leaving us to fend for ourselves in a world that wants us dead and is currently being very loud about that fact. you would distance yourself from your identity too if the community that supported you for years suddenly stopped caring about you the second you embraced it.

y'all will spend all day talking about how horrible it is that some trans men emphasize that they were assigned/raised female but nobody actually cares why so many of us do that. no one actually bothers to ask why we would put so much effort into being recognized as men but be afraid to fully claim that identity. no one wants to consider that they might be part of the problem, that they might be partially responsible for the thing they're complaining about.

if you want trans men to be able to stand firmly in our manhood and not undermine it with a million disclaimers, you have to actually put in the work to create an environment that's less hostile to trans men who do stand firmly in it.

because right now, regardless of my own personal opinions on the ways some trans men talk about their experiences as "afabs" or their "female socialization" or being "men but not like that", regardless of what issues i personally have with those kinds of statements, i can't blame them. not one fucking bit. and if you actually looked at how the world treats us - how our own community treats us - when we do fully own our manhood, you would feel the same way.

and if you aren't willing to do these things - which are literally just basic respect and care for other human beings, by the way - you don't get to complain about the ways trans men deal with how people like you treat our manhood. you can't expect a problem to disappear when you won't even acknowledge the part you might play in causing it.

[arabian-batboy]

And if I wrote an essay about how in a weird messed up way, Ra's al Ghul has been sort of a 2nd father-figure to Bruce over the years then what?

[trashcannotcan]

Little drawing practice of faces but tehe ahkemenrah and oc 😁

Sometimes the best way to bond is by your complicated relationship with your older sibling

[hello-eeveev]

I imagine Essek had this moment of recognition with Astrid and Eadwulf while they were all in the Blooming Grove, similar to how Kima was like “sword lesbian recognize sword lesbian” with Yasha. They all looked at each other and went “neutral evil wizard with complicated feelings for Caleb and a weird relationship to their homeland recognize neutral evil wizard with complicated feelings for Caleb and a weird relationship to their homeland,” and they didn’t need to discuss it any further. Their relationship is not affectionate at all, but it is not hostile. It can’t even really be called professional. It’s just there, and it’s a relationship of few words, but enough understanding.

And Astrid. Astrid Beck, my most beloved. Her relationship with Caleb hurts, if she’s being honest. But so does her relationship with Eadwulf, even though it’s a different kind of hurt. She is just full of trauma and I don’t think there is anything in her life that isn’t filtered through it, so everything is just kinda painful.

But I imagine that after taking on the role of Archmage, Astrid feeds Essek just enough intel to steer clear of the Assembly's ire, but they don't talk at all beyond that. So like, they don't really know anything about each other, but they are still offering up a lot of trust. It creates this weird intimacy of knowing someone's greatest secrets (Astrid, about Essek) and having seen them at their lowest point (Essek, about Astrid) and sharing a weakness (both of them, for Caleb). But at the same time, there is a massive divide between them that, for a myriad of reasons, will never ever be bridged. They both know this, so they won't even try.

They do not have a relationship, but there is still so much to it, you feel me?

[thepetesimp]

kpanniversary2024, prompt 4: Tension

"It's not your choice, Macau." The noise Macau makes with his mouth rings like a gunshot in Vegas' ears. His eyes widen as he stares at his brother's flustered face. His nostrils flare. Macau is wearing his anger like an armor made of rusty metal on his skin. He thinks it protects him, keeps him safe, when all it does is reveal all his weak spots to the enemy. Presumed enemy, in this case. Pete is not - could not - be an enemy of his in the first place. Not even when he was the main family's guard dog. He was a fool. In a way, he still is. Vegas is afraid to look at him. He does it, regardless. Saliva is trickling down Pete's forehead, down the path formed by the creases of his furrowed eyebrows, down the curve of his nose, almost but not quite missing his pursed lips. He is standing by the kitchen table completely still, statue-like. His eyes are closed. His body is tense. He looks like he's about to start crying, or screaming, or both. He does neither. He just opens his eyes, slowly, and stares at Macau with an unreadable expression; another kind of armor, equally rusty and ineffective. He doesn't wipe the spit off his face. "Who do you think you are to say that to me?" Macau yells, unperturbed by what he did. Vegas's breath hitches. He has to intervene, somehow. Say something to stop this madness from continuing, salvage any of the last, remaining pieces of his broken family. He has to- "You're not my brother, so stop acting like it!" "Macau!" He's too late. Pete's face crumbles. He lowers his head to hide it, but Vegas can still see it, can still see Pete's bottom lip quivering, his shoulders shaking. He wants to hit himself. It wouldn't solve anything, fuck, it'd make everything worse, but he can't help seeking the familiar sting a slap would provide. A punch, even more so. He gets pulled out of his thoughts by Pete whispering something he doesn't catch. It's an easy guess to make. For a moment, Vegas thinks the bullets that had pierced his torso all those months ago had hurt less. Macau says nothing and runs away to his room.

[denkies]

I remember being so distraught when we thought Hirotsu and Gin died, and then when it's revealed that Tachihara was the perpetrator, i was literally like "nvm theyre fine. That's his family, he wouldn't kill them no matter what" and i was right.

[dr3amofagame]

dr3's attempted serious of c!dream duo rankings based on lore importance (note: probably wrong, definitely argue)

c!Dream and c!Tommy: This is kinda undeniable. Like, in terms of their story, in terms of the Dream SMP, they are absolutely the heart and soul of the server. The c!Dream and c!Tommy show was such a thing that it has been like intentionally referenced and parodied within the story itself a million times. The story literally hinged on the idea of their opposing each other, c!Tommy-as-hero and c!Dream-as-villain, to the point where their whole you know finale and the closure for both characters involved realizing that they actually wanted the same thing and intentionally stepping out of the roles given them. Nothing really compares, sorry c!Discduo for the poll (but the heart wants what it wants XD)

c!Dream and c!Wilbur: I cannot believe they ended up ranking so low like I'm actually appalled. SLASH JAY but like . guys. Guys Please. c!Dream and c!Tommy's whole schtick forms the beating heart of this server because the story c!Wilbur wrote about them was its backbone. Like it's incredibly difficult to actually overstate how much c!Wilbur actually influences how c!Dream ends up--the paranoid spiral he ends up on is a direct influence of the increasing isolation he lived up until November 16th--this is why c!Quackity is so confident when he states c!Dream has no one left during dethronement and this is why c!Wilbur knows that c!Dream has no one in inconsolable differences. c!Dream doesn't exist in a vacuum and the whole, L'manburg narrative tyrant-villain-monster idea that originates from Wilbur ends up culminating in the identity that c!Dream ends up assuming to accomplish what he wants like hoooly shit he quotes "unfinished symphony" in Doomsday and he expects c!Wilbur to save him from the prison to the point of calling on him as his savior before basically Anyone and he lists c!Wilbur's name with c!Sam and c!Quackity post-prison like. Shit's fucked. Anyway.

c!Dream and c!Sam: Look I warned you guys I was going to be a little selfish. A Tad. Though, you know, it's kinda hard to compare in terms of like, you know, the fact that they literally spent a fuckin year together with almost no one else--sure there were visitors, sure Quackity happened, but like so much about them is very much isolated to. Them. (Also the ccs very clearly got a little carried away w/ these two and this reflects onto their like, Everything XD). With c!Sam and c!Dream it's less about well, straightforward comparisons and more about the Multitudes--c!Sam as the Plan, and c!Sam as part of the time and part of the server that c!Dream idealizes, and c!Sam as the cage for the monster the punishment for the evil the one that holds the villain away. And obviously while c!Dream doesn't um redefine his whole identity to base it on c!Sam the way that c!Sam does with c!Dream, the power of the trauma bond established over a year of Nothing Else does makes c!Dream noticeably more comfortable, almost, with c!Sam compared to like quite literally everyone else post-prison. Which is. Y'know.

c!Dteam (emphasis on c!Dnf): Admittedly, I'm not the biggest c!dnfer around by a long shot, so I don't really have as much to say here--but you know, considering c!Dteam very literally symbolize what c!Dream desires like. They're an extremely important part of who he is, what he wants, and why he does what he does. There's a reason why dethronement (and the cutting ties with c!Sapnap and c!George) is such a defining moment in terms of showing when he's fully burned bridges with the rest of the server, when he totally stands alone, etc. Obviously c!George is the originator of the "big happy family" line and well his mutual interests line up with c!Dream's quite a bit more than c!Sapnap's do, but as far as c!Dream is concerned both relationships are very much important to him and symbolic of happier times (and he's quite convinced that well. Both of them kinda want him dead, for reasonable reasons. So.)

c!Techno and c!Dream: This is where numbers get finicky, admittedly. As much as I love c!Rivals, and I love them a lot, I struggle a bit to put them on a definitive ranking. Because...well, on one hand, c!Techno is absolutely very high on c!Dream's priority list like as a character. I have said before and I'll say again that some of the most like outstanding displays of loyalty on the server come from c!Dream coming in c!Techno's defense at GREAT risk of personal harm--this guy literally stares down and denies both of his fucking torturers for c!Techno, like holy shit. c!Dream really fucking likes the guy like. So damn much. At the same time though, we're talking more...narrative importance versus importance to the character from a character's perspective--which is part of why c!Dteam is as high as they are, imo--while they're extremely important in terms of c!Dream's motivations and how he defines the whole "happy family" ideal around the idea of them living peacefully as a family, as far as actually looking at character interactions...especially post-dethronement they mostly just. Exist as figures that c!Dream yearns for but is also really fucking scared of. There's not as much consistent character interaction and frankly when we're talking about a character that's actively suppressing what he actually wants, they're not exactly high on his mental priority list either. All this being said, c!Techno definitely gets points by being one of the main vehicles by which we see c!Dream's like, humanity--being one of the few characters not to treat him as just a monster to be defeated and having similar ideals and therefore being an obvious comparison to make. Which is obviously important when we're talking about c!Dream, who was keeping himself rather in the dark.

c!Dream and c!Punz: Another real struggle to rank--I'd understand putting them up higher, but what really holds me back is well. c!Dream and c!Punz is the same as c!Dream and the Plan. And don't get me wrong, the Plan is extremely important to c!Dream as a character and like defines a lot of his actions especially post-revive book onwards, but what complicates this is like...well c!Punz as a character in terms of c!Dream? Like, he's just. He's just the Plan. That is his purpose, that's who he is supposed to be, and of course the Plan is important and of course c!Punz's like motivations here end up playing a big part in the tangled mess of what c!Dream ends up doing when we're talking what he starts ranting about in the third finale stream, but like. Well it's really not about c!Punz, innit, it's about what they're working together towards. c!Punz is secondary to the plan in a way that you really can't say the same for when you're talking about, say, c!Wilbur + the L'manburg narrative, or c!Sam and the prison. I can see an argument for them being higher just because like, if we're talking major c!Dream arcs, it's reasonable to have c!Dream and c!Tommy as being like a presence as the "main characters" in Wilbur's story starting the revolutionary war and ending at the genuine finale with c!Dream's main character development being split between the previously-named season finales--c!Wilbur being the main influence leading up to November 16th as c!Dream takes on the villain mantle, The Plan (and therefore c!Punz) driving him until Staged Finale, and the c!Sam and the Prison being the main force until the prison break...but well. There's just not enough of c!Punz and c!Dream actually acting together as a duo in terms of give and take in this dynamic to really make me put them higher--what's really important about c!Punz and c!Dream is just. The Plan and the Plan alone. Anyway, I'm decently flexible about this, but eeeeeeeh.

[alangdorf]

(sorry for leaving y’all in suspense I was grocery shopping) Surprise!! I accidentally got into Len’en like two weeks ago. Whoops! I got ideas for cool drawings to do with each of the BPoHC shrine team members (and you-know-who, ofc, but that one might be… weird lol), but Tsubakura gets to go first cause theirs is the simplest; just greyscale + red color scheme with a split background and the pose is mostly random (maybe they’re squishing Tsurubami’s little eye thing? Idk). Very pleased with how everything worked out; the line for the eye is exactly where the dividing line for the background was and the way I managed to make the vest corseted while not changing the ribbon placement is just perfect. Although I did make their hat smaller out of the aforementioned cowardice also that thing is hard to draw

[lathrine]

im 60 hours into BG3 and just now starting Act II, please enjoy this collection of my favorite companion chatter (+ lae'zel ripping on mammals)

[tennessoui]

Noooooooo the jedi healer Anakin fic ended there????? *devastated, destroyed, must know what happens!!!*

i think what i love a lot about the jedi healer anakin fic is that there's just so much silent back and forth going on between them - obi-wan buys anakin a new blindfold in the color of his eyes and it's so sweet because he remembers the color even after not seeing them for like twelve years.

but also it's still not total acceptance of who they are now - more importantly, who anakin is - and that's what anakin realizes when he allows obi-wan to take his blindfold off and put the new one on with all that touching and then obi-wan tells him to go even after anakin begs him to let him stay (or begs him for something, it's left open)

and obi-wan just can't bring himself to accept anakin as who he is, a very accomplished healer, because they were supposed to be jedi knights together and it would be so much easier if they were jedi knights together but instead they're unequal. all obi-wan can do is look at anakin when they're in the same vicinity, but he also feels dirty or impure because he's now a general in the galactic war and anakin's job is to try and save the people obi-wan is trying to kill

so it's like. self-hatred misdirected to an easier target that obi-wan has already spent years resenting for abandoning him. and a part of anakin knows that and why the story leaves off with anakin telling obi-wan that he doesn't hate him for doing his duty because anakin can distinguish between duty and desire. that's not his problem here.

it is, however, obi-wan's.

[eggmansplatformboots]

theyre that couple that say goofy lovely dovey things like ‘marry me?’ before making important decisions as like their ‘i love you’ or whatever and then will fight to the nondeath over small inconsequential things eg sonic put shadows eyeliner in the wrong fucking cabinet!!

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

What kind of tablet and app do you use or recommend for digital art?

personally i use Procreate on an ipad, like the vanilla bitch i am! it Is a good program, but i've previously used & been happy with Medibang, i've heard good things about Krita and Clip Studio.

as for tablets, i started out with a Huion pen tablet! that one worked pretty damn well once i got used to watching a screen instead of my hand as i drew! it's a pretty decent brand, but there are tons of others that are Not Half Bad too

but really, you can make anything work! there are a lot of different options out there - a good way to find Your Best Fit is looking up programs/tablets, reading reviews, comparing and contrasting to see what appeals to You!