#first time ive ever used the read more thingy

[i-am-dulaman]

Tell us about your dnd character ideasss!!

Okay SO.

The 3 ideas i have at the moment fall into 3 different kinda genres of dnd campaigns. Like one serious one for a lotr-esque game, one silly one for a monty python-esque game, and one in the middle somewhere around a thor ragnarok-esque game.

The silly one I haven't really fleshed out at all but basically she's a world war 2 nurse who has been magically transported to the dnd universe without knowing how. She's a 'proper lady' like character with all the manners of an upper class british woman of the early 20th century and takes to the rough and tumble adventuring life like a baby otter to water and all hilarity follows. Once she gets her bearings she dedicates herself to learning magic (wizard class) to get back to her true love, a sailor in the war.

The middle serious/silly one I've actually talked about on here before. I played him for like 2 sessions of a campaign (long story why we don't play anymore nevermind that). He's a total himbo, really dumb but really friendly and charming with everyone. Bisexual (obviously) and always happy to have a drink and chat with anyone at the pub. He's just an ordinary human tho, as far as he knows. Hes a potato farmer. And one day when ploughing the field he digs up an old rusty sword. When he picks it up, magic bolts fire forward from it. He thinks he's found a magic sword but actually he's a sorcerer and has been too dumb to realise until now, dismissing any magical things that's happened in his life before as something else (luck, someone else, random acts of god, etc.).

Then there's the serious one with a dark back story. I'm gonna tell this one in first person I think.

My name is Ký and 120 years ago my life ended. 120 years ago I met Betrand Dupont. Of THE Duponts. One of the wealthiest families in the kingdom. He was a young human of just 23 when we met, just married and a father to his newborn son, Jacques.

Betrand was of a noble heart and never considered me his servant or him my master. He introduced me as his friend to all his wealthy acquaintances. Imagine! Me a friend of a Dupont! He was kind and never asked anything of me that I would not offer. In fact he never asked anything of me at all. Actually that's not true. He asked One thing of me. Just one.

We met through chance, and through what I thought at the time was extraordinary luck on my part. A runaway cart hurtled down a steep road directly at me. My back turned and too focused on making my next sale, I was the none the wiser. Betrand saved me, pulling me out of the way at the last second. Looking back now, I wish that cart had flatted me into the cobblestone.

I am a Gnome of the kali culture, and when someone saves your life it is your duty to pay that debt. I dedicated myself to serving Betrand Dupont from that point on.

With his last words he asked the first and last thing he would ever ask of me. Take care of Jacques.

4 years after he saved my life I finally had a chance to repay the debt. A mugger had pulled a knife on him. Betrand was a proud man, and never one to shy from a fight. He deftly knocked the knife from the muggers hand and the two of them ended up grappling each other on the ground, wrestling for control. I picked up the knife and shouted at the mugger to let go. He didn't. So I stabbed.

The knife went in clean but not into the muggers back as I had intended. In the same instant of my thrust, the mugger and betrand flipped around in their wrestling match. The knife went straight into the back of Betrand Dupont.

How could I refuse? Why would I refuse? Not only had I failed to pay the debt of my own life I now owed him his. More than that though, Betrand was my friend and a great man I would do anything for, debt or no debt.

However i couldn't bring myself to admit to his accidental murder. I blamed it on the mugger. He was found, tried, and hanged. Another death on my hands.

And so it went, I would serve Jacques to the best of my ability to the end of my days, or his, whichever came first, humans dont seem to live very long afterall. He was a good boy in his early days. Kind and thoughtful. But the years took his toll on him. He grew arrogant first, then stubborn, and finally bitter in his old age. But he always treated me with respect at the very least.

But his kids. His grandkids. His great grandkids! The little shits. It seemed with each generation of Dupont they got worse and worse. They didn't treat me, or anyone for that matter, with respect. Corrupt, cruel, sniveling brats the lot of them.

Jacques had become the Patriach of the Dupont family, and I had become the head of his household staff. It was a large household to take care of. Jacques, his 1 surviving daughter, his 8 grandkids and their husbands and wives, and his 23 great grand kids. All in one house but it was my duty to care for them. So long as Jacques lived I owed him everything, but damn did he live a long time. He was 98 when he finally passed.

And now I was finally free. But now what? I had no where to go. For the last century I lived with and served the Dupont family. So I stayed, despite the horrible offspring I now served.

But with the death of Jacques the family seemed to become even more hostile. Gone was the respect I was shown by Jacques. After bringing Jean, Jacques eldest grandson and the new head of the Dupont family, the wrong suit jacket one day I received a beating. I couldn't walk for a week. Something Jacques would never have allowed to happen to me.

Those little shits deserved it.

Just a few weeks later while in the markets I was approached by a man. He offered me something I couldn't refuse. A way out. Enough money to buy passage home and more still to live comfortably for some time thereafter. He asked, knowing I commanded the household staff and the grounds, that I arrange for guards that night to be off duty and for the gates to be unlocked. They wanted, they claimed, to rob the Dupont household.

So. I did it.

I changed the guards schedules, and that night I fled with the gates left unlocked behind me.

As I waited at the docks to board my ship, hidden in my crude disguise of an oversized cloak, I heard it. The cries of fire.

Looking from the docks, the Dupont mansion could clearly be seen on top its hill, ablaze.

By the next evening it was revealed to all what exactly had happened.

Every Dupont, evey single one of them, was dead. Not by fire, no. The marble mansion was relatively unscathed by the fire once was all said and done. No, every Dupont was murdered in their bed, their throats slit. Even the babies.

I didn't know what to feel? Horrified? Or glee? They wouldn't hurt anyone again. Or at least that's how I justified my mixed feelings.

That night i slept on a pile of grain sacks at the docks, as all ship departures had been delayed for the time being. But i didnt sleep much, not because of a guilty conscience, no but because I was visited by the ghosts of the Dupont family. All of them. Including my beloved Betrand.

I couldn't look him in the eyes.

They all screamed at me. Their eyes were white but filled with rage. Betrand said I betrayed him.

The ghost of Jacques commanded me. I still belonged to him, he said. He commanded me to protect the one thing left of the Dupont family.

In a box, buried far underneath the mansion, was a treasure so important to the Dupont family that apparently even I, their closest servant for the last 100 years, didn't even know about it.

I was still not allowed to know about it, the ghosts told me. I was to protect the box for the rest of my life, but never open it.

So now I live in a crypt. The Dupont crypt where the family is buried. I hide the box in the grave of Betrand. The ghosts give me the demonic powers of a warlock which I used to protect the crypt at all times, usually by creating the illusion that the crypt is haunted. Which I guess it is. But it seems to keep out any curious eyes.

So this is my punishment. An eternity of living in a crypt surrounded by the hateful dead. Do I deserve it? Probably.

[gorgeouslypink]

everything about the void state | vanilla explain's

A few things to note. First of all, Vanilla was a very knowledgeable and supportive master shifter on DRA (a shifting amino community). You can read some of their other posts and you'll understand they really know their stuff and have dedicated a lot of time to understand this. Second, after reading this post, you'll understand why the void state isn't "just a method."

Here is the link to the og post: link

hello and welcome to this post! i am currently fighting against all the misinformation about the void state in this community and of course i had to post a full guide about it! here you'll read what the void is, what it's not, why it's extremely cool and multiple guides how to enter it!

table of content

i. intro

ii. the void

- what is it

- what is it not

- why the void state

- what it "looks like"

iii. how to enter it

- the "before state"

- awake

- sleep

- other ways

- affirmations

iv. q & a

v. outro

i. intro

in this post i talk about everything in context of the void state. i explain in deep detail what it actually is, clear up more misinformation, how to enter it in a lot of different ways, why the void is really nice and useful and in the end even have a q&a for everyone that got questions! you will notice how insane many misinformation are here. not just a few but full "guides" and "explanations" with it. please do not blame the creators for spreading them more! if you thought the same, you also could've been one of the people making posts about it.

ii. the void

let's start with the actual topic. to explain what the void is we have to know what exactly we are at first. so, what are we, what are you? you are an awareness. that means you are a tiny swabble-bubble thingy that experience the multiverse. right now you are on the physical plane so you see, hear, feel, smell, and taste. you can do a lot more things but the only important one is that you exist. you have no original appearance or identity (that's another topic) at this moment you are just you. you experience the 3d as y/n y/l/n. there are a few more things of course like your subcons and all that but it is not important for us now.

what is it?

we know that we are an awareness currently on the physical plane. we don't have an original identity we belong to as much as a reality. so what happens if we leave the 3d? is that even possible? yes, yes it is. that is the void state. the void means that you leave the physical plane. that is all. it is nothing special or unusual. the void state is the state of awareness. you, the tiny swabble-bubble thingy, exist there in your purest, most natural form. you could say the void is your home. when you aren't in a reality, you are in the void state. it's where you always return to and there is nothing more natural for you. you are just power, happiness, and peace there. nothing from the 3d can effect you anymore, your mind get's a whole reset. what does that mean? you have to know that you, the awareness, are not meant to doubt, have limited beliefs, worries, fears, trauma. it isn't natural or normal for you. you have them here on the 3d because they are physical circumstances. once you leave the physical plane, it of course means that they don't exist anymore. you enter it and BOOM they get completely erased. you won't even understand how you could believe such stuff after that. as you can see, the void is the state where you exist in your most "original" form, even if you don't have any identity or something like that.

what is it not

this is gonna be a long, long list. i'll actually make bullet points with everything i've ever heard here so you don't have to ask in the comments "someone said it is xy, is that true?". you can be very very sure that everything here in this list got 100% nothing at all to do with the void state. in the end i'll talk about the most drastic thing's but i also explained a lot already in my post about misconceptions.

- "body asleep, mind awake"

- meditation

- dreaming

- sats

- a sleep state

- the god state (mindset definition)

- theta state

- the "before state"

- relaxation

- the thing after you woke up

- being " in your brain"

- any other physical state at all⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀⁣⠀ ⠀ ⁣as you can see, you guys came up with a lot of things! you may already understood, the void means leaving the physical plane, so its being a physical state is absolutely impossible. you do not notice it on the 3d. at all. it is just not possible. many, many ask me "why didn't i shift from the void" but tell me a few sentence later "and i only felt my body a little bit" and i sit there like "okay, i'll start from the very beginning".

so please guys, in the void you leave the physical plane. you have no body. you can't feel anything physical at all. when you "felt your body only a little bit" you weren't even near the void. once you entered it, the physical plane doesn't exist for you anymore. with these very important information we can just ignore 10 things from the list now because we know that they aren't true at all. last but not least "it is the god state". but what is the god state? there are two main definitions here 1. just another term for the void so it's totally okay to say it, but what many here mean is 2. the "god state" mindset. that's a bit tricky, the second meaning is just a mindset. it represents your natural state of mind where you are limitless and powerful. you have it immediately in the void BUT if you have it here on the 3d you are not automatically in the void. you are still on the physical plane. tiny but important difference.

why the void state

you may already thought "damn, that sounds cool" but do you know how cool it actually is? besides that you finally align with your natural state of mind, that the void is pure happiness, peace, and joy, that you can chill there as much as you want, you can also do everything you want!! whatever it is, there are no limits. so here a few things you may don't know you can do:

- change the past

- skip time

- change your whole appearance to your liking

- shift everywhere

- manifest to wake up every night in the void

- manifest the future

- erase things (f.e. racism etc)

- manifest to always shift instantly

- change everything about your life

- manifest to lucid dream every night⠀ ⁣

as you can see, a lot more than many people think of. and the coolest?? it is instantly, in the very moment you want it, 100% reality. in the void the 3d/4d time gap can not exist because you are ABOVE the 3d. in the void you and your subcons work completely together that means that you literally give the commands. what do you have to do for it? want it. you don't even need affirmations or anything. you just want it and it is reality, no other possible outcome. in the void you can not fail, never and with nothing. if you ever thought you were in the void but "didn't shift" this is your clear sign that you were definitely not in the void. you are pure power there, it is impossible for you to fail at anything.

what it "looks like"

a question many, many have! what do you see in the void? actually you see nothing. you have nothing to see, you have no eyes. that's something most people are afraid of, deep, endless black and nothingness. but that's not the whole answer. you can customize your void! you have something called a "mental image". it is a picture you have in your mind and that is what you see. you can change it to your liking, very common here are galaxies. you could compare it to very, very vivid visualization but you don't have to focus on it and it's completely natural. you see whatever you want to see in the void. if you don't want black nothingness, you won't have it. very simple. so please don't be scared!

iii. how to enter it

there are a lot of ways to enter the void! you can basically leave the 3d through everything you want but of course a few things are easier for the mainstream than others. just try what you like and don't think you have to enter it immediately. i always compare it to speaking a language after a long ass break. it's weird and maybe seems hard, but every day you get more confident and notice how easy it is. that's the exact same with the void. everything is progress because every single thing is one step closer to being comfortable.

the "before state"

a term you guys hear extremely often from me. i came up with it because this was also a misinformation. but wait, what is it?? the so called "before state." it describes the time where you, the awareness, get ready to leave the physical plane. it always happens and especially beginner can feel A LOT there. it is the state where you feel like spinning, floating, falling all at once with tingles, dizziness, and confrusion. some time ago people said that this is the void. it is not. that's, as you already know by now, something that happens before you enter the void. many feel it, some do not and that is completely okay. for most people that actually feel it this intense it get's less and less every time they try. like you get more and more used to the idea of the void state, you know? you mostly witness it when you try to enter it awake or through a physical state. if you think you can not stand it, that's okay, you got enough other ways!

awake

made for biginner and everyone else

-before doing anything, ask yourself what you wanna do there? do you wanna chill a bit, manifest something, shift? with the intention or affirmations? if you can answer that you're good to go

-maybe put your phone away really quick to just calm down a bit so you're not full of energy while trying. you could draw something instead?

-lay down in a position where you know that it won't distract you. nothing that hurts or is uncomfortable

-now it helps many (especially when it's your fist attemps) to have a vague "plan". do you wanna visualize? affirm? counting?

-if you wanna relax more you can take a few breaths at the beginning

-after that try to just don't care about your body. don't care about your breath (and DON'T focus on it!!), you can count or start visualizing/affirming till you reach a deep deep relaxed state

-now you'll probably start feeling A LOT. physically and mentally (i don't talk about the itchy-pain feeling, that's just you body). your body will feel like floating, spinning and falling at the same time, you'll be dizzy and "confused". that's okay and totally normal. just stand it, do not fight it*

-if you have trouble affirming while that happen just think about it, it doesn't have to be very specific

-after that you'll feel nothing, absolutely nothing

-then you'll leave the physical plane, you'll just know it because you feel inner peace and happiness and calm

*this is the before state and will most probably get less intense every time you try sleep

you can also enter it with a sleep method! a thing not many people know but that's why we are here, right? just go to bed, now you can do several things

- listen to subliminals

- affirm

- visualize

- have mental conversations about the void

- just set your intention

you can do all, you can do none, just one, whatever you want. it is like the intention for shifting just with the difference that you wanna leavsle the 3d and not change your physical environment. it is the method many people use when they have problems with the before state, don't wanna lay still or have no time for it. you can do it anytime, everywhere. if you focus right now on lucid dreaming? awesome, you can still intend. in fact, the intention is exactly equally progress as when you try it awake. so it's definitely not just a "lazy version"!

other ways

as said, you can leave the physical plane through everything but here are some of your favorites:

- lucid dreaming

you can do it already or practice it right now? awesome! maybe try to enter the void state throught it. once the dream is lucid start to say affirmations, visualize or intend. or whatever you feel called to do

- physical states

you can reach sats easily? the theta state? you meditate or are able to disconnect from your body?use it for the void state if you want. if you can enter one of these and it helps you to disconnect from the physical world, that is really great. do whatever you want to do or ate able to. the same recommended as always, visualization, affirmations, no matter what you like the most

- " is this even real?"

you know the moment when life feels kinda unreal?when you look at the physical world and genuinely question how this can be reality? these are great moments to affirm you are in the void! if it feels unreal, who could proof that you aren't in the void?

- subliminals

got no time or just don't wanna try? there are many good subliminals out there to enter the void state. personally i recommend solars one. just listening to subliminals can also bring you in the void. they send clear commands of what you want to your subconscious mind and it will just say "oh, wanna leave? okay got you sweetie!"

affirmations

- i am pure awareness

- i am pure consciousness

- i am in the void

- i am in the void state

- i leave the physical plane

- i leave the 3d

- i completely disconnect from the 3d

- i can not get influenced by anything physical

- i am just pure awareness

- i have my natural state of mind

- i have my natural power

- i am home

- the void is my home

- i am where i'm supposed to be

- i leave the physical plane behind me

- i leave my body behind me

- i am pure nothing

- i want to leave the physical plane

- i am comfortable with leaving the physical plane

- leaving the physical plane is natural for me

- i am used to leave the physical plane

- i am used to being the void

- the void is my natural place

iv. q & a

just ask anything in the comments and i'll answer it here! or if you want you can take a look at my ask me anything - void state related, there are also a lot different questions!

q: do you feel unconditional love in the void?

a: you could describe it like that. you feel truly happy, at peace, calm, loved, secure, all the positive things you naturally should feel :smile:

q: Hey! Even if I don’t practice it awake and just intent to get into void state and sleep will my body get used to leave the 3D?

a: absolutely!! it's the same amount of progress :smile:

v. outro

this was my post about the void state and the first part of "vanilla explain's" my series where i explain things to you that aren't very common here! if you have wishes and ideas, let me know. please also comment every question you may have about the void state

[s-rosie]

RANT POST (it’s really long but I need advice and I also just needed to get this off my mind so enjoy lol).

So there’s this guy that I was talking about in my last post at my school and I need to rant about him because he’s so cute istggghggg. (For the sake of his privacy, I’m calling him B) so for some backstory, I’m new to this school this year and I he’s been at this school for at least a year and has friends and stuff. Our story starts on the first day of school he sat behind me in Spanish and my Spanish teacher said “now we don’t want B to touch Rosie’s hair” just as an example and he said “damn, she really thinks I can pull” (or sum like that idk) and I’m like ok? But then the next day I started catching feelings because he kept making eye contact and smirking at me and just looking at me in class. Then when we were about to go outside everyone was looking towards the lockers and I was looking tears the door and he was in front of me and he turned with a straight face then made eye contact with me and smiled and I almost dieddddd. After that we had Spanish again (this is the next day) and I needed to get something from my bag behind me and his desk was blocking me so he tilted his desk back and smiled at me so I could get my folder out. Then I was getting my seat to bring out to the hallway for an assembly and I was talking to my friends and he just smirked at me and his eyes followed me the whole way. And in line to walk away from the assembly me and my friends didn’t know what to do so we just waited for everyone else to go in front of us and he passes us and gave me thet iconic smirk eye contact thingy again. Again at Spanish he moved his desk back again even though there was more room to get my folder and just did the patented “B smirk 5000”. (Oh also how many aura points did I loose because I asked the teacher if I could go to the restroom before he got there and I sprinted to my locker to put on perfume, lipgloss, and take some mints and he didn’t even get to class for like 10 minutes)

Fast foward to science class I was sitting down and he sits in front of me to my right and he was talking to his friend right in front of me and i was staring at him (I’m just a girl) and he made eye contact with me and smiled and my hearttttt. And in the hallway he made a small comment to someone else like “oh I didn’t go with my parents because I went to church” and I’m catholic so when I tell you my heart exploded I mean it. Then we were writing something in groups and each group had to pick one person to represent that group so we can make one paper as a class and me and him were each a group representative. And we were reading the papers and when he was done and I was still reading he was just staring at me with a smile and just joking around with me. Then I was writing the final paper the teacher said sun like “does it naturally flow or you gonna make it flow” and j said “I’m making it flow” and everyone bursted out laughing especially B and I was like saying shut up but flirty yk (this is pretty much the first time we ever talked but the chemistry was off the charts fr) And then the other boys started taking the joke a bit too far and mind you these were his friends for at least a year and he’s kinda popular and he looked at them and said “guys stop it just let her write” while smirking at me. THIS MAN, WHO IVE PRETTY MUCH NEVER TALKED TO, JUST DEFENDED ME IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDS THAT HES KNOWN FOR AT LEAST A YEAR. AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH And the other boys were like “sorry” and stuff even tho it was just a joke it wasn’t a big deal and I was laughing. And then I read the paper and he was looking over at me and he said “you made it flow” and we went back and fourth joking like that for a few minutes (and he was blushing a little but which was just so cute) and he looked at my paper, which was in cursive and then said “so now can you write that in English?” (Playfully, bc he can’t read cursive) and we were laughing and stuff and he said the paper I made was good. Then I wrote down the homework on a sheet of paper and he walked back towards me (which is out of his way because we were leaving and I’m farther away from the door then he is) and he said “you’re making that flow” and I was just giggling bc ahahahaha. Then today in history i was running to get to class so I was sweating and fanning myself with my folder and he was just watching me like i looked like a mess but he just kept looking over at me.

Then fast forward to Spanish i got my folder again and I had all the room i could even need to get my folder and he still moved his desk and I looked at him and smiled this time to say thank you and he started to say you’re welcome but he cut out half way thru and kinda giggled and blushed (ITS SO DAMN CUTE WHEN GUYS DO THIS) and the teacher called on him for attendance and I was still grabbing my folder and he forgot what to say so I started laughing and he just looked down at me and said “i didn’t make that flow” and I started laughing more. Then we had to do a interview thingy in our Spanish lesson and after he went i leaned over to whisper to him “you made that flow” and he started laughing again. And our Spanish teacher brought up what she said the first day In class about B touching my hair (she just used us as an example because we were right next to her) and istg she’s the captain of our ship at this point. And we kept making eye contact and smiling. Okay I think that’s it. So sorry for the rant but I really just needed to get all of that off my chest and I need to know (if you red this far which I doubt) if he likes me bc I think he does but I’m also extremely delulu. Also what should I do like I don’t want to mess this up like I did in the past (we don’t talk about that) but I just need some help.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Got any prompts for John Thomas Ward from Faith meeting a Paranormal Investigator! reader, who was Amy Martin's childhood friend and wants to stop Gary?

At first, you were in it for the thrills. That's all. 

Paranormal investigating was just a hobby you enjoyed, although most of your discoveries were just candles being mysteriously blown out or unintelligible whispers replayed on a spirit box. But you were content with whatever you found and what little communication you made with spirits.

Now. Things have changed.

Never in your life did you expect to join a priest in his mission to save a girl’s soul and stop a horrible evil from breaking through into this world.

Yet here you both were, investigating the clinic where your friend Amy once worked. You were searching for demons or clues as to where Gary could be attempting to perform the Profane Sabbath.

You had a bone to pick with that cultist freak for what he did to her. Learning of her possession when you came over to visit one day had you furious. Gary used her and now she was gone...with some beast using her face to carry out its misdeeds and terrorize her family.

The tapes you have of it speaking in her voice still haunted you to this day. It was the clearest recording you’ve ever gotten of an entity from the other side, but god..you’d trade it for anything else in the world.

Anything but her.

So you decided to come to the clinic to do your own investigations into what happened there--where things might’ve gone horribly wrong between your childhood friend and Gary.

That’s when you ran into Father John Ward: the priest who allegedly killed Amy one year after the brutal murder of her parents and an elder priest.

At first you had nothing but insults for him, especially when he revealed he attempted an exorcism twice on her and failed both times. You thought he was just a fraud posing as a pastor.

Though..you could see his guilt, and he explained to you in great detail of the horrors he’s seen. But even then you weren’t fully convinced that he was capable of undertaking this mission to find Gary and stop doomsday from coming--as evident by his copper-colored crucifix.

He begged you to believe him, insisting he wants to save Amy’s soul just as much as you do, showing you a note that implied Father Garcia trusted him.

Eventually, you caved and refused to turn him over to the police..

Under the condition that you tagged along in his quest.

Reluctantly, he accepted. But only because you may help him find answers about what Gary’s done at these locations by contacting any resident spirits there. Plus if you could get proof to clear his name should he need it...that would be especially helpful.

So together you snuck into the dark and decrepit clinic, curious as to what you may find lurking inside. There were many boarded-up doors and ultrasound photos strewn across the floor.

As John walked past a lone IV drip, you stopped as your EMF device emitted a beeping noise. You took it off your belt loop, aiming it towards the stand.

The beeping persisted.

Jackpot.

“Oh! I caught an EVP. There’s a spirit right here.” Your eyes lit up, though you frowned as the priest took out his crucifix. You waved him off. “Save it. I gotta know more about this before you do your exorcism thingy..assuming you can do that.”

“I can. I’ve done it many times.” He huffed, a bit annoyed that you refused to trust him. “You know, I read of other investigators similar to you. They were at Snake Meadow Church-”

“I know what happened to them." You cut him off. "It’s a shame but..there’s consequences for getting too greedy with capturing spirits on film. I’m only here for answers and to help give them some peace, knowing someone's listening to them. Whatever evidence I take home is just a bonus.”

That seemed to shut John up for the moment. He just watched you prepare your equipment near the IV stand while looking out for any demons that could sneak up on you both.

Once you were all set up, you kept tabs on the spirit box and EVP recorder, doing your best to communicate with the spirit once it made its presence known on the radio frequencies. You asked a few questions regarding what happened here and if it knew of Gary.

John remained behind you, silent. All he heard was static, whispers, and a slight crying noise on the spirit box. Though he was impressed. 

You clearly knew what you were doing.

After some time you decided to stop, not wanting to overwhelm the ghost with too many questions. And he blinked as you packed up your things. “What did it tell you?”

“There’s a lot of interference. I’ll have to parse through it when I get home. But I did hear a voice....it sounded miserable. Like it was crying, almost.” You frowned slightly. “It mentioned Gary and needles. Maybe his freakshow cult is pumping patients full of drugs and getting them high.”

“It would explain why they infiltrated the clinic.” He remarked, raising his cross. “Now will you let me free this poor soul?”

“Do as you wish, Father.” You backed away, bowing slightly in a mocking gesture. A smug grin graced you face as he rolled his eyes, but he proceeded with purifying the IV drip.

You were caught by surprise as it flickered bright yellow, before a ghost rose out of it and vanished into the heavens. ‘Huh..guess he’s not lying.’

John then picked up a note that had fallen to the ground and read it out loud, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

Note to self--

Pills do not dissolve in IV drip well.

Too weak; patients waking up before process is complete

Sooner or later they will realize they are having the same hallucinations

Suggest concentrated, injectable version

“..you’re right. Gary is drugging innocent people. We should continue investigating. I sense many more evils within this place.”

“Sounds like you should’ve gone into this business instead, pastor.” You joked. “But yeah, let’s keep going. For Amy.”

“Yeah..for Amy.” He nodded, feeling a bit more determined than before. “We cannot fail her.”

It seems like you two were already forming a quick alliance.

[jadejetts]

just got these zurg figures as a late christmas present!! :D now. i know what ur thinking. "why would you get a used one with a detached tube" because 1. the one disney currently sells strangely omits the "i am your father" lines from the sound chip, 2. it came with a couple of figures from 1999 which are awesome in their own right, 3. i wanna mod him anyway!! ive got a few things planned to make him more movie accurate- i'll put it under a read more here!

so, what i've got lined up is: - accurate mouth lights by chickenhaunt!! this is the one mod i'm doing For Sure. tl;dr its just one yellow light in the mouth normally, this'll give him that sliding effect from the film back - ball joints for the arms and wrists! i haven't seen anyone do this with zurg? but there's tons of people who've done it for buzz and i assume it'll be roughly the same process if not easier since there's no electronics in zurg's arms - something that nobody has either figured out or has shown off publicly- Making the gun actually fire. (absolutely getting help from my dad on this one if he's free, this is uncharted territory and will be much more of an experimental process than the others) i've also got a few more mods that are more of a Maybe than an absolutely, because they're harder in their own ways: - an accurate Z emblem! not only is there no case of a full scale zurg with an accurate emblem as far as i know, there also isn't a model or texture in any game that i could've used to make a model to print for, since either they're the inaccurate jagged emblem or so low resolution it's hard to make out and reconstruct from- luckily, this image of a lego piece with an accurate emblem has a good enough resolution to maybe build a model out of- the 'hard' part comes with actually making the emblem, as it's transparent plastic. we do have a 3d printer at home, but it's not the best by any means?? and i haven't fully looked into if transparent filament is any good or not, or if our 3d printer can print at the size needed and not look rounded or blobby - zurg vision!! this is something people have done before (even the mouth lights guy did it), but i feel it's much harder of a mod to pull off than any of the others since it's right where a screw would be, and there isn't much documentation on how either of the people who did this mod pulled it off - more articulation in the head! this one i'll need to learn more about how this toy's neck area is built to figure out, but hopefully the end product will be a head that can tilt in just about every position except rotating backwards - adjustable shoulder pads! like the zurg sold by revoltech :] no idea how feasible this would be, since i've never seen this mod idea done or even brought up - a transparent red backpack button with light! once again, transparent plastic, but this time hollow and housing an electronic light, which that second part is a bit of a challenge to hide for something that isn't already wired up to the toy itself - accurate hands?? this figure does the common pointer-finger and three-finger molds that a lot of toys use, so i'd like to see if i could maybe print something out that could be way better (and not as loose!!!!) - forearm chrome paint???? i have zero experience with painting stuff at all, so no idea if this'll go through- but it'd be how itd look in the films!!

and a couple of bonus mod ideas, just for my own satisfaction: - a better speaker?? dunno if the audio stored in the toy would benefit from this, but if it does, it'll be all the better for it - cleaning up youtube audio of zurg's lines in astro blasters, and maybe adding them to the sound chip thingy????? i have no idea how sound works in these toys, so maybe adding new sounds is impossible- but it'd be neat if that weren't the case!!

either way!! this'll be the first time i've ever done something like this- i'm probably just gonna set up the mouth lights and move on, but it's nice to have a list of to-dos in case i do feel up for more

[hotluncheddie]

got a couple snippets for you since you asked!!!!!!! i havent worked on this in like. a week cuz ive been sleepy but i did a little editing (let my bf who is a teacher (like gators bf!!!) look over it for me and he was Very disappointed to see that i had accidentally written ‘heaved himself heavily’) :3 but the stupid ask box thingy wont let me use italics so i had to put /…/ >:(

“Play-pretend?”

“Uh-huh. Like, I’m the housewife and I’ve been so busy, cooking and cleaning all day. And you’re the husband, Daddy. You-” He starts shifting his hips again, breathing hard, but this time you intend to let him. His voice is pitched up ever so slightly, and he tries out a feminine, almost transatlantic tone as he talks, “You just got home from work and you’re just so tired that we can’t possibly go all the way to the bedroom to make babies.”

You groan wetly against his cheek, and he leans in close to whisper in your ear.

“We gotta do it right here, on the table.”

Too much. Gator’s several years younger than you, and manages to flawlessly make you feel precisely how old you’re getting. If he keeps going, you’ll come. And you will not get hard again. And then he’ll sulk, and play with one of his oversized, brightly-coloured toys in the bedroom while you sit downstairs watching reruns of Top Chef.

“Puppy. /Puppy…/” You warn when his hips speed up and provide more friction against your own khaki-clad cock, “Maybe another night, okay? Daddy’s too sleepy to play-pretend right now.”

+

Your body feels like it’s made of styrofoam. You swallow.

“You missed Daddy that bad, honey? Should’a called me while I was having lunch. Daddy could have helped you stuff your hole.”

“Both of ‘em,” Gator giggles cheekily, “Do it more’n ya think, Daddy. You just- You’re always too tired to play, so I take ‘em out while you’re sleepin’.”

“Yeah? Tell Daddy next time, Gator,” You tell him sharply, emphasising his point with a push at the plug which startles him, makes his whole body twitch and his cock jump, drooling pre-cum onto the bedsheets.

He breathes out a soft /M’kay/, awkwardly trying to stay upright while he removes his briefs all the way. You pet, gently and lovingly, at his asscheeks, thumbing over the raised horizontal scars that start on his upper thighs and travel all the way to his waist, cooing gentle, praising words at him.

You think about the first time Gator had taken his clothes off in front of you, how you’d asked him if ‘Moonck’ gave him those licks, the way his eyebrows furrowed as he told you /Naw, football accident/, then huffed wetly and said /My dad…/ and asked you to touch them, to love them, to put your fingers on them while you were inside him. And you had, of course you had. You would do anything to take away those furrowed brows, that wobbling lower lip, the way his scarred eyelids drooped so sadly.

- 🐶

im,,,, 🥺😫😫😫😫😫😫😫 he so!!!!!

ugh im so exited for this - sweetest boy, loveliest little baby omg omg 💝🐶🥺✨❤️

just ugh, his daddy and his sweet horny mind, coming up with stories and fun things to do!!! and his scars!!! :( baby deserves the world, im obsessed with this cant wait to read it, or read any more if u want to share <3

and both holes stuffed ugh! please tell me he's a plump, round, cute puppy!!!

*heaved himself heavily tho omg thats funny hehe

[fluloa]

Hiii! I know I just left a comment under wetter but after binging the rest of your blog I just had to leave you an ask ç^ç

So first things first, I loved your characterization of Jake, you really hit the nail on the head! Like it's the best piece that I've read for Jake, smut or not.

Now tell me is that asshole doing the back thing on purpose? Like to feel the ass on him or ?? Also, is he supposed to be Jake from the second film or somewhere in between the first and the second?

AH BTW the ask about the size kink sent me spiraling, there's literally nothing I wouldn't let him do, make me gag on it 'til I'm crying, spit in my mouth, choke me 'til I'm on the floor passed the fuck out, NOTHING is off the table.

Omfg he's so Lana he's so daddy I'm gonna cry AND ALL THANKS TO HOW YOU WRITE HIM!!

Also since someone mentioned part 3 having more feelings, would you consider them doing the bond thingy? (Figured Neitiry is out of the picture lol) I know it's supposed to be special and all but I want him to moan like a lil bitch just like us <3

PS: please use the read more feature for your fics, really long posts make it kinda hard to navigate (here's how if you need it)

OKAY SO FIRST THINGS FIRST; i love you and i thank you for using your time to go through my blog because you like my writing like that is the biggest compliment ever?????

AND SECOND OF ALL. this is set for more jake’s character in avatar 2 but it’s before the actual time of avatar 2 if you get my drift, but he doesn’t have any kids. #21withnokiidsss

and you just gave me the idea of that whole back and ass thing. i didn’t even think to be like “oh yeah jakes totally doing that just so he can feel her up against him” BUT LIKE HE TOTALLY FUCKING WOULD SO IM DEFINITELY INCLUDING SOME SORT OF DIALOGUE NEXT PART. so thank you for that lol

AND BAHAHAH THE SIZE KINK PART. SO TRUE.

and about the bond thingy? im not gonna spoil anything… 🤫

AND THANK YOU FOR THE READ MORE TIP! ive already done it to both fics. honestly im still working my way around this app and you guys have been so helpful to me, i love you all 😭😭

[unlimitedtrees]

talkin' about the largest level from my game, 'UNITRES Dreams' , called ~DREAMSCAPE DISTANCE - SECTION 2~

hello. today i want to talk about the level 'Dreamscape Distance - Section 2' from the game i made, 'UNITRES Dreams'. this level is one of the largest levels i've ever made in any of my games, and it's something i'm really proud of and want to talk a little bit about. so click the read more thingy if you wish to learn more about it,,

also , By The Way, play da on newgrounds ehehehehe ~! or u can download it on itch.io too if you want

the version of this level in the final version of the game is one of the most ambitious things ive ever done and is something im Really proud of. to sum it up... it is the largest level in the entire game, with tons of paths and secrets, with there being things you can only find once in the level in Very Specific places. it was one of the last levels to be completed, and it's one of my favorites. but before i can get into the specifics... i want to first talk about its history.

when development of unitres dreams began, it was a much slower paced game, with the controls being a lot more simplistic and level design being more focused on linear platforming against enemies that constantly shoot bullets at you. both 'sections' of dreamscape distance were completely different early in development, having a different tileset and level layouts.

dreamscape distance - section 2 at this time was a lot more basic than the one in the current version of the game. it was linear and didnt have a whole lot of stuff going on. in fact, when i first invisioned it, it wasn't supposed to be anything. it was kind of just another city level where at the end you fight against the spaghetti monster you just created in a cutscene in the last level. there was One other thing i had in mind when i first created the level, but unforunately it was cut from the final game. i was planning on having there be puzzles in this level which youd solve using the party swapping mechanic. each character would have separate traits which would be used in the puzzle. i dont remember fully what the puzzles would have been like, but i think you wouldve had to the '??????' character to punch the 'trees' character across the room. sadly, at that time of development i originally gave myself a deadline of having the entire game come out on may 9, which was like less than 3 months from when i started development on the game. So, with me having little time to come up with the planning and programming and artwork for an entire puzzle section in One level, i decided to just remove it. this meant that the party swapping mechanic in the final game had a lot less purpose than what i hoped it would have... but oh well.

one idea i Tried to implement from the very beginning of the level's conception was the flying car gimmick... i wanted to have a set piece where you're flying through buildings and ships, shooting enemies with bullets and having the spaghetti boss fight be a bullet hell fight... but Well...

not only was the car itself kind of messy, but the spaghetti boss ended up being really disappointing for me. since the screen's size was really small, there wasnt a whole lot of room for you to move around in. not only that, but i couldnt really do any complex attacks from the boss, as all the bullets took up a lot of space on screen and you couldnt really see things coming ahead. so, all of the boss's moves are very basic and either incredibly easy to dodge or incredibly annoying to dodge.

so yea. i was really disappointed overall with the game back then. so, i then decided to completely change the gameplay to be more fast paced, have more movement abilities, and have more open levels with things to do. i also decided on completely remaking most of the old levels, with both of the Dreamscape Distance sections being entirely remade with new art, level design, and gimmicks. i wanted the new levels to be prettier, more fun to go through, and to leave a really good first impression. Dreamscape Distance - Section 1 was one of the first levels i remade (and i might have a lot to talk about it later... we'll see!), but Dreamscape Distance - Section 2 was one of the last levels to be finished, as at first i wasnt sure what i wanted to do with it yet.

But Then, i finally realized what i wanted to do with it, and i spent like a whole entire month dedicated to making it the most largest level ive Ever made... i wanted it to be a sort of magnum opus for me. i wanted this level to leave a lasting impression on you at the very beginning of the game. I spent Days working on just the level collision Alone, and took even longer putting in all the artwork and objects. the level even got updated multiple times to add even More stuff to it after the game came out...

and well, im not sure if other people feel the same about it, but for me it is one of my favorite levels in the whole game. im gonna talk about it now.

first off, i wanna talk about the inspirations for the level. i wanted to turn it from a simple "city area" into a whole mall area. i wanted it to feel Huge and dreamlike, so a lot of it is inspired by my own personal memories of an old mall i used to go to when i was young. one Specific thing i can bring up is the air balloons area that appears at the beginning of the level...

you see, the mall i used to go to had this sort of sculpture thing of a cartoony air balloon in the clouds... i dont remember much of it but i wanted to include something like it in the level. it's something you can Easily miss, but just before you encounter the first POLYCAR section, you can find a bunch of large air balloons floating above, and you can even bounce on the balloons like large bumpers.. it is such a specific set piece that only appears at this specific part of the level that i love so much. my only wish is that i spent more time on the art for the balloons themselves,, theyre kind of just a repeating tile set, but it is what it is.

that area is actually full with even More specific things you can only find there. just below where the balloons are, there is an entire part of the level where you can find two hidden NPCs if you go down far enough... i wont say who one of them are, but i Will tell you about the 'Vie' character...

when you first talk to her, she will give trees all of her flowers so that they can spread them all across the levels. every level from then on will have flowers placed All Over. it is such a small detail that i loved implementing, and it's something you can Only find in one incredibly easy to miss area. That is kind of what the whole spirit of the game is for me and what i want to implement in my future works,, the idea of there always being something new to find,, i wanted it so you can just get Lost in this level and find something weird to do. i may not have been able to accomplish a Whole lot with this (due to me being the Only developer working on this in my spare time), but i am really proud of what i managed to accomplish with this game...

Anyways, speaking of NPCs, this level has the Most NPCs out of every level in the game, and some of them are in Incredibly Specific places. a lot of the NPCs are actually cameos from my close friend's OCs, and im really happy they let me include their characters as little secrets in my silly little game. my Only regret is that i didnt get to create as many original characters as i wanted (as making the NPC sprites along with dialogue portraits and writing takes Longer Than You Think), but i at least was able to implement the clown trio in Chaotic Carnival... which is a story for another day...

So , after the room with the balloons, you enter the first area with the 'POLYCAR'. the design is a Lot simpler... just a diamond that moves around, but i like it a lot more than the old design, and it even controls better too. one of the important changes i made to the new version of the car is that the screen actually zooms out when you enter it, this allowed me to make the car sections more larger and for the spaghetti boss to actually be Good and like an actual bullet hell. But Anyways...

after the first POLYCAR section, you are dropped into an area with two SAVE points, along with a sign in the middle that tells you that that there's a left and right path you can take. these signs were something added later on in an update as a sort of easier way of adding more NPCs into the level without actually designing a new character, and i really like them. i managed to add a lot of these in a bunch of random spots, and while i am not proud of most of my writing, i Really like some of the stuff i wrote for these signs. they're Interesting.

so, something that only this level does is there's a left and right path which takes you to entirely different parts of the level. the left path has a few level gimmicks that dont appear at any other part in the level and is also a faster path to take, while the right path is Large and has tons of NPCs and set pieces that you skip by taking the left path. this is something ive Always wanted to, from even as far back as my old fangames, but always been afraid of doing as in a lot of cases, players will just get Lost when you make the level go in a direction that Isn't just a straight path forwards. Luckily, i think this kind of level design worked here, as the left path is a Little more linear and easy to get through compared to the right path. the left path is also more crazier, with you having to go Down, then right and then left again. so it's probably a bit more confusing, but the few playthroughs ive seen of it seem to understand it after a bit, so i think it worked out.

the left path i wont get into too much, as i think it's better for you to experience for yourself. i Will say that there's a window sprite you can find there that doesnt appear anywhere else in the level. i wanted that part of the level to feel more like a City than the rest of the level, but i didnt get to do as much with it due to time. it's still pretty neat, though. the left path is generally focused on straight Gameplay, while the right path (which is the one most people take) has a lot more Things to do.

for one, the right path is very Vertical, with tons of little areas you can find. i wanted to make the right path look like a bunch of shops, but while i didnt get to make too much art for it, you can find things such as tiny cash registers and shelves, along with scrolling walls with hearts, stars, and diamonds on them. there are, of course, Tons of NPCs and signs you can find here.

one specific NPC i'll tell you about is the 'Stealth' NPC, who is based off my friend stealth's squirrel character. just to the right of him, you can find a swimming pool which appears Nowhere Else in the level, along with a polygonal palmtree. something else you can find which only appears on the right path are escalators which move you upwards... these are also inspired by the old mall, and while i wish i couldve designed better artwork for them, i just like that theyre there.

there's a lot of specific gimmicks and areas in the right path that you can just Miss by only going one way. i dont think i will reveal every single NPC and secret in this level as i think it's best to find it yourself, but i Will say that at the very bottom of the right path you can find a hidden area with a hidden sign and NPC..

last specific little thingy about the level ill get into is that, at the end of the level you exit the mall and the background turns into a bright night sky with an ocean full of little flowers. i have nothing much to say about this other than it's pretty. also at the end of the level i tried doing a little thing where you have to go right and then left and the up and right again to get to the end, which is something i tried carrying over from the old level. idk if it worked out well but i like it anyways LOL!

so. now that ive talked about all the specific parts of the level that make me love it a lot, let me get into the Issues with this level. you see, it being large is a Curse. with it being the largest level in the game with the most objects in it, it lags like Hell. at least for me, anyways. on both of my computers it runs at like, 40 fps during most of the level, and at like 30 fps and the very end of the level. Now, i have seen people run the level at 60 fps... id imagine youd need a good pc to actually run it at full speed. but it isnt too slow for me that it's Unplayable.. and my computers arent exactly Powerful.. so i cant imagine how this level plays on a computer that is Worse. there's nothing i can really do about it. the lag is kind of the only thing that prevents me from replaying this level a billion times, especially since it Also takes awhile to load the level. it's a small price to pay for ambition...

my last real problem with the level is that i wish i could do even More with it. theres so much i wish i could add to it to make it feel even more alive,, such as making the "shops" feel like Actual Shops. i designed the level collision first before anything, so there are a lot of things i had in mind that i never got to fully detail with the artwork. my biggest fear with adding more art is that id make the level lag even More.. which is something i dont want to do. i think the big culprit for the lag is the scrolling walls with the hearts and stars on them... You See, i am Stupid and dont know how to make proper effects in construct 2... and the tiled background object type which is good for the sort of repeated texture that is used in the game can Not be animated.. so in order to pull off the scrolling animation, i made a 32x32 object with a bunch of frames for the animation and just. Copied that object a billion times. so there are Thousands of instances of this object all across the level. so yeah, that is very bad and dumb of me and i probably couldve done something way better. idk.

overall, even if i didnt manage to fully go all the way with the level, im still really proud of what i managed to do with it and the level is really important to me. i think the only time ive managed to Somewhat surpass it so far was with the level in the demo for my game 'TREES' ADVENTURE', which i tried making just as large and open as this level, along with having tons of secrets. That level i will probably have to talk about another time, but for now i'll say that while it is probably one of my most polished and prettiest levels ive Ever made, i still wish i couldve done more with it and also it just doesn't have as much going on as Dreamscape Distance - Section 2 does.

so yea. dreamscape distance - section 2 is one of the most prettiest levels ive ever made and is absolutely massive. if you're a freak for Sonic CD like me, i dare you to play it and spend as much time as you want in it, exploring for all the secrets. it may not be a Whole lot, but you might find something really neat. i hope someday someone could appreciate the weird stuff ive made the same way i have, but also i'm just fine with having this level even exist. there isn't anything like it.

that's All, play unitres dreams on newgrounds dot com EHEHHEEHE !!

[ohyoru]

Hey im not good with words or english, but its ok to feel burnt out or tired. Youre not obligated to provide anything to us. You are an author who writes for free. Maybe to have fun maybe to express yourself. You have your own life and thats a good thing. I havent been playing genshin in a while because theres so much work i need to do there like building characters. I havent watched link click s2 because i cant bring myself to sit down for that long. Im sure everyone has something like this happening to them and i just remind myself that it doesnt matter that much. Post unfinished things, make your character builds crap, dont finish a book youve started it doesntmatter. Its about having fun. Its about forgetting your problems(at least for me) or its about spending time with your online friends. Taking a break is necessary. Spending time for yourself is necessary. Taking care of yourself is necessary. I hope i could get my message across. I cant even take my own advice seriously as im too scared to post this without anon but i hope i was able to make you feel better somehow. I also want to say i really love your works even if i dont know who the person you’re writing about is. Ive been following your works for a while and i dont regret it one bit. I would be pretty sad if you were to stop writing for certain people but if it makes you feel happy then i dont mind and im sure others wouldn’t mind it as well. Youre free to do whatever you want ( as long as youre not intruding on other peoples freedom obviously) thank you for reading my wordvomit written in an attempt to comfort you.

dearie anon,

to have you in my inbox is already a blessing enough for me. thank you so much for taking the time of your day to cheer me up, you have no idea how much this means to me (brb crying i dont deserve you sob)

first of all, your message got across. i'm not sure about your english being not good part, but really, your message resonates with me on a level deeper than language can ever explain, truly.

i appreciate your kind reminder that i shouldn't feel obliged to write for anyone. i honestly feel like it's eating me out because i put myself in the equation as well. i had been a writer before, back when tokyo revengers (anime) was still in its first season since i'm more of a manga reader. if you were in that era, you might came across my work. alas, things happened. what used to be good memories (including writing) turned into very hurtful ones and i stopped doing what i love because they're causing me so much pain. nonetheless, i still slowly died inside. it took me a while to be at peace with my past and understand that writing is what makes me the person i am. so i'm determined to start again and keep it up. but when life gets in the way and hold me back from writing (again), it depresses me. (including not playing genshin). honestly, i'm feeling lonely. what and who i used to know and love seemed to only exist in the past. people moved on, topics became irrelevant, relationship broke. which i don't blame, but it still makes me cry once in a while.

sorry for the traumadump uh- i feel like i should explain myself a little. i hope that didn't scare you too much. but anyway, you're right! i should do whatever i want. maybe i need to reframe my perspective. i love that you mention about reading book thingy because i have the same issue and yes, i'm a reader through and through. but it's been so long since i read.. the irony. maybe all i need to do is start. and love myself a bit more to stop torturing myself with unnecessary thoughts..

you know what anon? i love the past me. i dont remember exactly what i love about her, but she used to be so at peace. i'm trying to find my way back to her, and i think you're helping me set my way there, so thank you. i dont know about your problems, but if you're willing to share, i'm more than happy to listen. don't forget to take care of yourself too okay? i hope your days ahead are the loveliest yet!

also, thank you for appreciating my works! when i started writing again, i told myself and whoever that's willing to take the time of their day to consume my content that i don't need anyone's attention or approval (shadowban be damned. if it happens, it happens). i did it solely for myself. but god knows how much your kind words and others' fill up the spaces in my heart.

i'm not going to ask anything from my works. your support is something i could never repay, but i'll always appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.

(btw yes, you did send this on anon hehe i got a hunch on who you might be but if you prefer to keep it a secret, then rest assured, your secret is safe with me!)

[itbmojojoejo]

Alright, i just finished watching High Life and uhhh yeah, i usually enjoy artsy thrillers etc but i have no idea how to feel about this film. Ewan was fantastic ofc, scary, but brilliant. Mans got talent. More thoughts (major spoilers and mentions of violence included) below the cut cause i need to get them out and have no one to talk about it with. 

First things first - i would not recommend this film to anyone that is sensitive to seeing any type of violence towards women or perhaps those that are having fertility issues as i know this can be upsetting. i was already aware of the gist of the film before watching so i knew what to expect but what was unexpected is how all those moments and details were actually delivered. 

I am going to praise Ewan for his acting here before i continue on with my WTF WAS THAT thoughts. Everything ive seen him in there has been a very clear if not HUGE difference between all of his characters, that man is NOT a one trick pony at all. He left me feeling freaked out and uncomfortable with Ettore’s brutality. Im very excited to see what else Ewan does in the future because he truly is talented and thats easy to see, especially when you put dear baby monk Osferth next to Aemond, Tom Bennet and Ettore (I have not seen his other works forgive me do not come for me with pitchforks and torches) . Hes managing to provide fully fleshed out and complex characters with a few minutes on screen at a time - this man is not flipping through a script and winging it once hes on set. He is more than just a pretty face to me, i really hope he gets the opportunity for more projects to carry on dazzling us. 

Now onto the film itself - we’re told that every member of the experiment was given a life sentence or  death penalty. That experiment being - “The real goal, the film tells us verbally, is to assess how great levels of radiation impact the human body”

How does Dibs and her little fertility experiment that was further endangering the lives of the women on board fit into this? Whose idea was that? and past the point of early infancy (i.e. the incubator) there seemed to be nothing on board this ship to accommodate a child. Dibs was clearly a convicted killer just like the others had been, she confirmed to Boyse she smothered her own children and used a knife on her husband. Was her clear obsession with Monte all because of his chastity too? and what was her being in the box all about with that furry thing that caressed her??? im confused at that. 

We know that the prisoners files are on board because Willow tells Monte she read his, so if the captain and Dibs knew what crimes people had committed what reason did they have to restrain the women to their beds in unlocked sleeping quarters??? Thats a problem waiting to happen. They could have avoided that whole situation with Ettore. Why were they even restrained in the first place? And why was Nansen in sleeping quarters with the men? Where did Dibs sleep? Did she ever sleep?

I think a little background info on all of the people would have been nice too, nothing big just a little tid bit, we know why Monte was there, we caught a glimpse of the life Boyse had but past the train thingy we dont know what she did. Tcherny mentions he thought joining the experiment would be honourable after bringing shame to his wife and son, and if i hadnt read the plot pre watch i wouldnt of got that he committed suicide (this could be something i’d pick up on with a rewatch but im not sure thats going to happen). And i dont think Nansen,  Mink or Elektra are referred to by name at all??? (again i could of just missed this while questioning wtf i was watching)

Boyse and Monte - what was their little connection that was hinted at all about? the side eyes, she cut him, he punched her, then they held hands??? explain pls.

And if Dibs was so set on having a baby on board why did she then throw herself off the ship? The injuries she got from Mink didnt seem to be life threatening? Did anyone notice that the women had more violent deaths depicted than the men too? What was that ship with just dogs on it about? And lastly - the films ending, did they die? is that what that was???

If anyone wants to chat about this please feel free!

[purpleyoonn]

Hi ! I'm a new anon who find the courage to send you a (pretty long maybe ?) message..... idk why I'm so talkative when irl I'm a quiet person LMAO.

First, I hope you're doing fine and your day went well !

Second, just wanted to say that I'm in love with your writings ! You're one of my favorite writer on Tumblr and AO3 !! I'm totally addicted to soulmates + poly!bangtan x reader more than I was before thanks to you  😭 /pos

My favs ones are The Line between Love and War, Dance of Time, Baby you complete us, Doughnuts and Shell Casings and of course the My universe One shots (Yoonie as a dragon... so soft omg he has all my heart and soul omg I'm OBSESSED... Jinnie as a vampire ? YES PLEASE. And Joonie as Hades ? On my knees. )

I don't finish reading all of your stories tbh, but it's in my plans, hehe. I started Ethereal today ! I already love it, I can't wait to binge read it !!

AND if I send you this, it's because I have some questions... because I'm a writer too, and I want to try and write a poly bangtan x reader soulmate AU too 🥺 

Do you plan your writings ? Like taking notes in a notebook about your ideas, characters, story, any world building when you write something fantastic ? Do you plan your chapters and everything in advance, or do you just write what pass in your pretty head ? Do you have any tips for a baby writer like me ?  🥺 

Again thank you so much for sharing with us all these stories, really, I read your stories in the bus, at uni waiting for my classes or during my breaks because I don't have any friends, and I'm a very anxious person who suffer from adhd and bpd, plus I'm autistic so reading your writings helped me to cut myself to the noisy world a little, and it helps me so much so thank you...! (you'll probably find all of this weird, I'm sorry  😖)

Ah! Sorry I talk too much... it's always like that when it's about my specific interests like bangtan, writing, and fantasy world....

Also, sorry in advance for any grammar mistakes, English is not my first language (I'm Belgian, so I speak french hehe), I hope you'll understand what I'm saying   😣 

Have a nice day/afternoon/night, wish you all the good things in your life, you deserve it !! ♥ -  🐋 

omg hello new anony! Im gonna call you whalien❤️

My day has gone really well so far! My little sister had a field trip and used her spending/gift shop money to buy me an octopus plushie (she knows I love octopuses and that they are my favorite animal) so im super duper today!

thank you so much! im glad you love my works! (I have no clue what /pos means though)

omg so you favorite almost all of my works so far then! watch out for ethereal though, there is a loooott in there and pls pls take the warnings seriously for each chapter!

but yeah, I love dragon yoonie and pretty much any and all dragon bts aus. like there is something about possessive bangtan that treats mc like their greatest treasure!

So as for writing, I do actually plan everything in my notebook! I write out like hopes for the story as well as like, a summary and plot line weird box structure thingie. I also write out anything for my characters like backgrounds and likes/dislikes. I try to plan everything in advance but I don't plan the small details. I plan ahead for the big like, plot changing things but other than that, I write what comes to my head! Its fun when you don't necessarily know where things go but have an idea of the plot! as least to me😊

My biggest tip for any writers out there is actually pretty simple.

write.

like everything.

any little or big idea that comes to your head. write it down. you are never going to get any practice or improve your skills if you don't write. for me, the little fox was the first like actual fic ive ever written (besides a twilight fic on quotev that I will happily take to my grave) and I want to go back and rewrite it so bad but I won't because I like knowing how ive improved my writing over the years.

im the same way with fics ive falling in love with. ive like perfected my straight face in public, ive got the best poker face. ill even read directly in front of my grandpa and he'd never know I was reading the dirtiest smut ever. Im happy though that I can help you escape your world and all the noise for even the slightest second. as a fellow autistic individual, I know how overwhelming and overstimulating the world can be so im glad you can find comfort in my works!

Please never think that sharing your thoughts on something you love is weird or strange. I could go on for hours about the history of fan fiction or octopuses for hours. ask me about my favorite book and you might as well plop down on the couch with a nice pillow and a snack because we will be there for hours while I bring out my white board with theories and characters connections.

also pls don't ever worry about any English grammar/comprehension mistakes when talking to me! I am goof about asking questions and my comprehension levels are usually through the roof so pls don't ever worry! I wish I could speak French! I only remember some words! my family is from one of the states that was a French colony so its pretty common to still hear some French being spoken. but unfortunately my family didn't like it, (mainly my grandma sooooo) .

I hope you have an amazing morning/day/night!!!!

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

ive never seen the bh6 show- what about globby is so similar to spot :0?

WELL anon, I'm glad you asked because I constantly feel the need to infodump about Globby and I often don't really get the chance to!

Note: okay so I ended up going WAY more in depth about Globby's first couple appearances then I probably should have so quick TL:DR; they're both Just Some Guy(tm) who went through a horrific, life changing accident and decided to become a supervillain because of it. They both start out as relatively incopetent joke villains that the main cast doesn't take seriously, but after fucking up and falling into a hole in the ground, they find out that they're much more powerful than they thought they were and then kick the heroes' asses, all while maintaining the "literally just some guy" energy. They also both fuckin- bully the shit out of a 15 year old-

You can read my massive infodump if you want though it's under the cut :)

See, Globby is a recurring antagonist-turned-ally in the Big Hero 6 spin off series, Big Hero 6: the Series(creative title I know). He starts off the show as a petty theif named Dibs who, in his first(cameo) appearance is getting dangled off of a roof by that bot fighter from the first movie, Yama. Also I know this doesn't sound similar to the Spot yet but we'll get there I promise-

After that, he doesn't *officially* get introduced until a few episodes later in Big Roommates 2. This is where we find out his name, his occupation, and how bad he is at being a thief on account of his general clumsiness. So in a bid to prove himself as a theif, he steals Honey Lemon's chem purse. As in her purse full of literally every chemical known to man.

So after unknowingly stealing possibly the most dangerous thing he could've stolen, Dibs runs off to the abandoned warehouse that Callaghan was using to mass produce Hiro's nanobots in the first movie, where he tries to open the portable chem lab. He manages to try a couple of times before Allistair Krei, also from the first movie, just walks into the warehouse, forcing him to hide. Turns out he's been using this warehouse to house a secret project, a rip off legally distinct copy of Hiro's nanotech headband thingy that can, appearently, control anything it's linked to? Very unclear how that works but he tells his assisstant it's worth billions and they leave. Now Dibs, ever the opportunist, decides that he's gonna steal that now actually. He ends up putting it on, but through a series of accidents, also ends up making the chem purse explode all over him, launching what I can only assume is a horrible concoction of every chemical known to man onto him. THIS is where the similarities start appearing between him and the Spot, because instead of dying like he absolutely should have, the chemicals end up fusing to his body and he becomes basically just a sentient mass of goo being held together by a very special headband.

And so after being horrifically mutated, Dibs decides to do his best Michael Afton impression and just. Walk through a busy street in the middle of the day. Because reasons I guess. See, I think the main difference between him and the Spot is that, while Spot had pretty much everything to loose when he went through his horrific life altering accident, Globby had nothing. Not to say he didn't have *some* things going for him, but he didn't have a job(unless being a theif counts as a job?), he was already estranged from his family(as proven in a later episode), and he only had one friend, who also happens to be the chillest man alive. So this is less of a life ruining thing for him and more of a minor inconvenience that he mostly chalks up to being incredibly unlucky and his main motivation is just getting some modicum of control over his new physiology. At least in this first episode. Anyways blah blah blah Fred names him Globby blah blah blah he kidnaps Krei blah blah blah he decides to be a supervillain and runs away. Though I think I should also mention that, while Globby doesn't really blame anyone for how he ended up like this(despite kidnapping Krei), Honey Lemon does blame HERSELF even though it is absolutely not her fault that he stole her purse. Idk just felt like an interesting thing to inject into the analysis.

Now Globby's NEXT appearance in the episode Failure Mode is where most of the similarities between the two show up, because Globby's arc in this episode is literally just Spot's arc in the movie. Like I'm not joking it's the same thing-

Globby attempts an art heist and is immediately stopped by Big Hero 6(sans Wasabi and Gogo), who immediately don't take him seriously because of course they don't, he sucks at this. Their individual reactions are kind of mixed bags, with Hiro making fun of him, Fred just being excited to fight a monster I guess, and Honey Lemon just being kind of upset that he's trying to steal a painting she really likes. Globby ends up putting up a decent fight but in the end gets takin down by Big Hero 6. They don't catch him though because, in his words, "they don't even make pants that can hold (him)!"

A couple scenes later, we switch from the kind of boring subplot about Hiro's school project back to Globby's second attempt at the heist! This time he gets in, but ends up trapped in the building when it goes into lockdown mode despite literally saying in the last scene that he can't be contained(he's an idiot I love him sm). He doesn't get out of the museum until Big Hero 6 arrive, and this confrontation goes pretty much the same as the first. EXCEPT!!!!!! After Baymax took the painting he tried to steal back and Globby splatters all over the asphalt, Honey Lemon makes an ice ball to throw at him. This frightens Globby enough to make him turn into water and go down the sewer grate next to him. Y'know. As ya do.

After flowing through the sewer, Globby ends up filtering out into a random field just outside of town. He reforms into his usual purple-ish pink-ish goo form, astounded by what he just did. So he decides to experiment and this scene is literally just a shorter version of the spotted demension scene in ATSV. Like it just. It is.

And so, after fully mastering his insane power set, Globby goes back for one more attempt at the heist aND ACTUALLY SUCCEEDS???? Yeah my man's kicks every single member of Big Hero 6's ass ON HIS OWN and then manages to run off with the painting! Which, sidetracking from the Spot comparisons for a sec, that just doesn't happen very often in superhero cartoons! Like the villain almost never beats the main characters in one off episodes like this, which I really appreciate the writers doing. Idk it's just kinda refreshing. Oh yeah also we find out Globby is working for the main big bad of the show in this episode but that doesn't really matter for this analysis-

ANYWAYS you can see what I mean by Globby and the Spot having the same arc, right??? Incopetent villain wants to be taken seriously after an attempted robbery gone wrong. They end up falling down a hole because their powers backfire on them a bit, but this leads to them discovering their full potential and they end up beating the shit out of the main heroes and achieving their short term goal. The only real differences are that Globby is working for somebody and doesn't turn into like. An eldritch abomination at the end of the episode.

Anyways that's where the super big similarities end, since we don't know what's gonna happen to the Spot after his "Failure Mode arc" is what I guess I'm calling it for the sake of this analysis. Globby ended up redeeming himself at the end of the first season, though it was kind of rushed, and tbh I hope that's what they do with the Spot in Beyond bcuz I want the silly to be okay :(

Anyways there is one more thing I want to point out and it's that both of them are really out here beating the shit out of 15 year olds huh. Like you could make the argument that Spot doesn't actually know Miles is a teenager, which would actually make sense and also be really funny, but Globby does NOT have that kind of excuse. Like Hiro doesn't cover his face very well at ALL, it is very obvious that that man is a child. And even if Globby DIDN'T pick it up on his own, Obake, his boss, DOES know Hiro is a child, and based off of Globby's reaction(or lack there of) to seeing Hiro unmasked, it's probably safe to assume that Obake told him who Hiro was under the mask. Which MEANS Globby willingly went up to a fuckin child and called him WEAK AND USELESS????? HELLO????? Seriously omfg I know Obake told him to do that but he WENT ALONG WITH IT DESPITE PRESUMABLY KNOWING HIRO IS A CHILD AT THIS POINT- LIKE I LOVE YA MAN BUT THAT'S REALLY HARD TO DEFEND-

Anyways uh. Yeah. That was my Globby infodump disguised as a comparison between him and the Spot. Hope you enjoyed :)

[lyra-swan]

Hiiiii I know you're offline as I'm writing this but nevertheless I still felt like jumping into your inbox and word-vomiting for a second because I've been following Mechanical Angel for quite some time now and picked it up again recently and I just made it to part IV, god I'm having a blast. I can't wait to put all my full, extensive thoughts out there once I'm done but for now I need to stress that I'm just super impressed with both your writing style and the tone/ character development as a whole but the world-building in particular got to me gooood.

Am I right to assume that a lot of research went into this???? Because you can genuinely tell, to the point I literally felt transported to the places as you described them every time and the details are just so captivating to witness. It really feels like I'm reading a ww2 novel, I feel transported back into German literature class on occasion and it's just. Impressive???

Anyway thank you SO MUCH for putting this out there, I'm so happy Mechanical Angel (and all of your works) exist!! I've already noticed that there's another story focused on Natsume/Sora set in the same universe and I can't wait to finally jump into that one too once I'm done with MA. (Especially since Natsume is in my top 4# favorite characters but that's only a bonus)

Last but not least I am very mentally ill over Eimika now, congrats, I'm rotating them in my brain a very normal and totally not concerning amount, haha

May you have a wonderful day!!

Oh hi thank you so much!! I both loved and struggled with Part IV so much, but it was extremely fun to write, especially that dumb part in ch.38... I dunno if you've reached ch.45 but that was also very fun. I hope you continue to enjoy the rest!

I'm going to ramble like an old grandma again, adding a read more thingy so the post won't be a bother to scroll past for others.

In my opinion I don't think I've done enough research! But I'll always feel like that no matter how much I do so bleugh, nevermind. The scenery is typically based on my own surroundings but changed slightly to match an European feel... I think I wrote more in the last ask answer but it has a tiny bit of spoilers, I believe. The setting is a bit of amalgamation of my own country and europe because my own surroundings is what I'm familiar with, and of course although it's supposed to be inspiried by Germany everyone drives on the left side (I think I mentioned it in a chapter note) because I didn't want to accidentally trip over myself from a simple description of where a character turns their head. It's the Little Details that are important!

I say, as if I also didn't mess up a few details here and there because I started posting before finishing the first draft and so I couldn't edit the way I used to do for my previous longfics... But yes, it was very fun adding random bits from what I learned into the story because I used to love watching WW2 docs and laughing every time the nazis messed up and suffered a crippling defeat.

Like, I'd read about how they lied to their citizens that they were doing just dandy, and then have Wataru ask Eichi if he wanted more 'false reports of our so-called victories on the battlefield' to be published in the newspapers. Because that's the funniest shit ever to me...

Then one day I'd read about the nazis being among the first to connect smoking to bad health, and I'd add something like that in a conversation between Eichi and Tatsumi, they're not nazis obviously but because of the setting's inspirations that's where I got a lot of information (but you'll have a scene later on that's more Britain than Germany, so the fic truly is a amalgamation of different european settings during WW2). And of course, people are sceptical of new medical findings, that was mentioned. And the part where Eichi mentions 'common people are suspicious of IV drips' to Mika, that was a thing in the real world too.

I wonder if there is a single medical invention that wasn't regarded with suspicion by at least one person at first.

I kind of wish I had Eichi offering gold watches to anyone who quit smoking, it would've been funny, but eh.

And of course there are some things that don't make sense because this IS an alternate world so I DO have freedom. Like, even though this takes place generally in 1930s-1940s time, tranquiliser guns weren't invented until the 1950s (by a NEW ZEALANDER!!! Colin Murdoch. He's also the genius behind the modern day syringe, if I recall correctly), but you know, I added it in anyway because alternate world, alternate invention timeframes. I wrote that fog scene where Mika is shot by Midori while also sitting outside one dark foggy morning, and I liked the scene so much I kept it in.

Anyway I'm so happy you like the world-building! It was super fun to work on! I really like rural settings for world war stories... one of my favourite authors, Michael Morpurgo has that kind of vibe going on too, my bookshelf has a few of his books. So many dog and animal stories with themes of war lingering in the background if they don't directly deal with war and I love every one of them. They're all so full of emotion, they'd always make me cry. I love the stories that can make me cry and look back and think it was the most beautiful thing I've ever read and Morpurgo's works can do that A LOT. But also I'm very emotional...

And thank YOU for this! I'm always so happy hearing someone enjoyed what I wrote!

I still need to finish that natsusora fic. It was supposed to be a part of the main story itself but because it would've taken so many chapters, I was worried about 'forcing' readers through a side story that had no bearing on eimika. So I posted it as a separate fic! It takes place during that last chapter of Part IV so you can actually have a look whenever you've started Part V.

Natsume is very out of character, however. He's in his 30s and not really the cute feminine witchy boy that he truly is in canon (at least, that's how I see him), he's an engineer and really logical... but he hates Eichi with a passion, that's VERY necessary. Nevertheless, I try to write him as close to his canon self within the au that I've shoved him in and told him to survive in. Totally fine if you end up not liking it!

Excuse the rambling!! Thank you! You have good day!!

[shirtlesssammy]

7x18: Party On, Garth

Then:

Party on, Garth, indeed

Now:

A group of teens enjoy a camp-out and scary story hour. One dude tells the story of Jenny Greentree, and how she froze to death right under the tree by their campsite. A noise startles them, but it’s revealed to be another friend (wearing Sam Winchester’s striped hoodie?!). Trevor is toasted, but unlike the others, hears or senses some unknown threat, and takes off running. 

His brother and the other campers take off after him, eventually finding him gutted on the side of the road. 

Officer Garth Fitzgerald IV is on the case. He interviews a couple of the campers and they tell him about Jenny Greentree. So, he heads to the cemetery and “Garths” her. 

Trevor’s brother, Ray, gets very drunk alone and heads into the forest with a gun (a winning combo.) He sees a figure in the distance, but before he can reach her, he’s trussed up in a tree and gutted. Way to keep the family tradition alive (er, dead?). Garth hears about it over the radio, and is very upset. 

Meanwhile, DEAN HAS CAS BACK (kinda --he’s a little catatonic after taking on Sam’s crazy), and gets a non-update from Meg. He also gets a call from Garth, not that he remembers who that is. He owes Garth though so they head to help with the case. Instead of Garth, they meet Corporal James Brown.

Discussing the case with Garth, Dean comes to the conclusion that they’re dealing with an invisible ghost werewolf.

Sam learns the father of the dead brothers owns a brewery in town (and OH the irony of Dean Winchester saying microbrews are for douchebags.) Sam and Garth interview him, asking if his sons had enemies. Dean interviews Ray and Trevor’s sister, Maria. She tells him about another business partner, Dale, who died. Sam and Garth then interview Randy, the third business partner. He tells them the death was a suicide, and they’re selling their beer to a major distributor.

Meanwhile, the grieving drunk mom mixes herself a little AM joy. She plops her drink and her daughter’s OJ on the table together. Guess which one the daughter goes for? I mean, not her fault.

She’s instantly drunk, and sees a shadowy figure in the home. She looks for it. Her dad’s like, WTF?

She sees the creepy woman standing right next to her mom, but can only point and scream before her mom is gutted in the kitchen. 

Dean’s had enough of learning about microbrews (and drinking from his own flask that mysteriously sets off Garth’s EMF reader), and pops open some bottles to try. 

Dean learns that he likes the beer, we learn that Garth can get drunk off of one beer, and Sam learns that Dale left the company before he died. They’ve got a possible vengeful spirit on their hands. News of the most recent family tragedy comes across the police scanner. 

Garth and Dean head to the house, and Garth talks to the young daughter, Tess. Or should we say, Mr. Fizzles talks with Tess.

The sock gets Tess to tell them it was a monster with claws --and she drank a grown-up drink.

Sam interviews the widow of the business partner. She reveals that they both despise the other family for their past business dealings, but that her husband had sent them a peace offering. The bottle of saki he gave them arrived in a box “with writing all over it” (likely warded) and he wouldn’t let his wife even touch it. Sam’s spidey sense tingles. 

Dean and Garth piece together the other pertinent facts of the case: you’ve gotta be drunk to see the monster. Dean immediately pulls out his flask and starts drinking. Garth inquires about the flask, learns it’s Bobby’s, and speculates that it could possibly be haunted. Dean SQUASHES the feelings down. He’s here to work!

They all head to the brewery to hunt their ghost and find the potentially cursed bottle of saki - it’s been opened. They find a surveillance camera, but see nothing on the footage from when the elaborate packaging was opened. Dean thinks they need to drink to see the ghost on the security footage. “Can you even get drunk anymore?” Sam inquires, and we feel sad for Dean Winchester. 

They re-watch the footage, only to see the ghost appear this time. “He let that thing out of the box, and it must have just followed him to the place with all the thingies,” Sam summarizes intelligently. Randy arrives at the brewery, calls them hucksters, and starts to call the cops, but Garth tasers him. 

Later, in a restaurant’s back alley, Sam and Dean get a chef to read the box that held the saki. “What you took will be taken from you,” the box warns. The cook gets spooked, because the box declares that the bottle inside contains a shojo, an alcohol spirit. 

Back at the motel, they research shojos. (Randy, the brewery owner, has been kidnapped and stashed in the hot tub.)

There is a way to kill shojos...by using a samurai sword with a shinto blessing. Dean announces that he’s going to search local pawn shops for samurai swords. Lol, show, whatever. Garth pulls out his EMF and holds it near Bobby’s flask. Sam reports that he doesn’t think they’re being haunted by Bobby because he pulled out a talking board when the beer disappeared in a prior episode. Since Bobby’s spirit didn’t chat, Sam dismissed that theory. Their conversation gets interrupted by Randy waking up in Garth’s hot tub. 

Garth interrogates him. He wants to know who his kid is...because he’s in danger. It turns out that Randy had a secret kid - who’s currently working the graveyard shift at the brewery. Garth heads out, pockets loaded with the contents of the motel’s mini bar. 

At the brewery, the would-be victim cleans windows while blissfully unaware of the dangers. 

Dean gets the chef from earlier to read the shinto blessing on the sword he found. 

The blessing done, the chef heads back to work on what has got to be his weirdest night ever on the job. Dean gets an update from Garth on the ghost’s next victim, and learns that he’s at the brewery. 

At the brewery, Garth spots the ghost lurking next to Randy’s son, and hauls him outta there. Garth tries to explain that he’s in danger, but fails. However, the ghost turns up and makes his argument for him. It turns out that getting thrown through a glass window by an invisible force is an effective argument about the existence of unexplainable, superstrong forces. The guy tries to make a run for it, but he’s chased by the terrifying invisible ghost. Sam bursts in and tries to defend against the shojo, but he gets knocked out almost immediately. SAMMY, your head bby!

Dean bursts in with the sword. He is NOT drunk enough, so at first he swings wildly and the sword goes flying. Things turn around quickly for Dean, though, because the sword slides right on back to his hand! Sam wakes up and directs him in the fight, and soon the shojo is speared by the sword. She disappears in an angry flash of light. Dean looks around afterward. He’s alone - or IS HE? 

Garth wakes up in a pile of rubble. “What’d I miss?” OH GARTH. 

Dean asks Bobby to send him some kind of sign that he’s still around, while Sam lurks secretly in the background - silent witness to his brother’s CONSTANT WELL OF PAIN. There’s no sign from Bobby. 

At the motel, Garth bids them farewell. Dean gets his HUG.

For Too Precious For This World Science:

Garth drives away in a swirl of heart emojis, leaving Sam and Dean to talk FEELINGS. Sam tells Dean that he saw him trying to talk to Bobby in the brewery. Dean feeds Sam an eight layer bean dip of denial coated hope. He’s NOT SAD, he’s FINE - and there’s a whole string of incidents which makes it appear like Bobby’s been helping them along. Sam thinks that Dean’s just grieving - and his grief makes Bobby appear to still be around. Bobby is DEAD. D E A D.  

As they leave the room, the camera pans over to...Bobby! 

Before they drive away, Dean realizes that he left the flask behind in the motel room. He bursts through the door. “There you are,” he says softly, looking towards Bobby, who starts to smile. But Dean walks right past Bobby and grabs the flask, completely unaware of his presence.

Garth Quotesgerald IV:

You’ve been Garthed

I usually don’t even drink beer. It messes with my depth perception. Especially when I skinny dip

Mr. Fizzles is gonna go where the sun don’t shine

Come with me if you want to live!

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Seijoh OIKS ROUTE

a/n: this,,,, is probably the angstiest out of the routes and i seem to only write angst for oikawa and i think its a problem

this is for @what-a-creative-username​ bc oikawa is their favorite seijoh boy so this is for you 🥺

and actually buckle your seatbelts bc this is my longest work and its the biggest mess ever :’) also, this is kinda all over the place soooo

anon:

- May we have an x Oikawa ending to the Manager AU?

- okaayyyy so this is a request for the manager series. please pleASE PLEASEEEEE- make a oikawa ending! 🥺 cuz he’s my favorite and all those times with him in the story feel like more than just friends

OMG IM SORRY BUT MY INNER OIKAWA SIMP THAT I NEVER KNEW WAS EVEN THERE STARTED TO PEAK THROUGH

so basically yea

as seen in a lot of the parts,

oikawa is very,,,, loving towards you

like his entire demeanor was just so different and so,,, authentic,,,, than the ones he shows to other females

maybe it was because you didnt want him in the beginning?

the moment he saw you, he did his first antics and he expected you to turn red and fluster and cutely shy away from him 

yanno the works

yet you gave him a stony stare and denied him

ofc he was hurt and a little offended bc were you rejecting him?

hes never been rejected before and he prides himself for that but you just did and continued to do that

so he made it his mission to make you at least feel something for him

like the period part or his random proclamations of his love for you

he did it all

it didnt matter if it would bite him in the ass later because he was impulsive and he wanted you to show yourself being affected with his charms

because he was the FREAKING OIKAWA TOORU

ong this is like his validation that he is still a ladies man and has a charm that couldnt be resisted by anyone

he constantly told you that he loved you to see a reaction from you and he always was touching you whether it was just the shoulder or your hand

oikawa wanted to see you as his own personal cheerleader and you reacting to his affections would really bring him over the moon

this brings us here in the gym today

‘y/n-chan, do you want to go-’

‘oikawa-san, i dont trust you wanting to go on an innocent outing without any hidden intentions’

the team snickered and he pouted, eyes watering and curling at your side

‘y/n-chan, please? oikawa-san really wants to spend time with you~’

he begged and you finally looked up from the notebook and stared at him

god hes been much more annoying lately but you knew it was his way of letting out his anxiousness and nervousness for the incoming interhigh

so you decided to indulge him just this once and made a deal with him

‘the moment you try anything, even remotely romantic or flirty, i will leave’

you bargained but he gasped

‘what?! then what’s the point of-’

‘so you DO have hidden intentions, oikawa-san?’

you raised your eyebrow causing oikawa to quickly shake his head and detach from you

‘fine. none of that stuff, just hanging out, okay?’

he was still fussy but he accepted it

oikawa had a plan to take you to a cafe that just opened up and take you shopping and basically spoil you because girls like that, right?

they fall for boys who give them everything, right?

nope

so i read a study that surprisingly most girls arent into shopping apparently and they prefer to buy something themselves because apparently they feel indebt and dependent on men if they let them spoil them like that

idk about you but i would let oikawa spoil me tho

his plans were completely crushed when you argued with him for nearly 15 minutes to take half of your tab with the food

‘y/n-chan! i invited you out so i should pay! and boys have to pay!’

he complained, holding the other end of the tab envelope thingy but you pulled it back towards you

‘oikawa-san. you should never listen to societal normalities and instead listen and respect my wishes of paying for my half rather than going by the rules of males paying for females’

im sensing a bit of a bokuto and akaashi typa relationship between you two

oikawa shook his head and slightly stood up to lean over the table, his face approaching yours and you were slightly surprised by the sudden closeness causing you to lean back and be focused on getting away so your grip on the tab loosened

he grinned as he snatched it away from your grasp and quickly placed his card into the slot before running up to the cashier

your mouth was slacked and surprise was still written on your face even when he returned and oikawa held up a peace sign to try and lighten up

but your shock morphed into being upset

‘oikawa-san, listen here. you had-’

but he waved you off with a smile

‘no, you listen here, y/n-chan. oikawa-san loves you therefore he will give you everything in the world and all you have to do is sit there and point at whatever you want because my love will bring it to you~!’

you rolled your eyes

‘please stop being like that, oikawa-san. im not your girlfriend so dont act like my boyfriend’

he lightly scoffed, disguising it with a cough

‘y/n-chan, i dont think you understand. oikawa-san is telling you to be his good little girl and sit down. i dont understand why youre being so stubborn’

he growled softly

wHAT iS hE sAYinG

you shook your head in disbelief and stood up collecting your things making the brunette to also stand up in curiosity

‘y/n-chan? youre leaving already? i wanted to go see other places with you! i wanted to take you shopping!’

you halted and looked up at him through your long eyelashes

‘oikawa-san, i’d rather you save your money and rest your injuries instead’

you reasoned but he raised his hands in front of him to signify his wish for you to stop

‘but i want to be with you, y/n-chan’

he whispered and you blinked

‘i dont want you to spend a single dime for me after this. just you and me, oikawa-san, no money, just us’

he nodded eagerly

‘we can go anywhere you want! just,,, stay with me’

then he found himself in a bookstore with you

it was a quaint hole in the wall bookstore that you both found as you walked down the street and you excitedly dragged him inside, hand still laced together

the rows of shelves that contained different worlds in the pages were your serotonin

he watched you excitedly run to the fiction section and browsed through the different spines for anything special to check out

‘y/n-chan, i’ll go use the bathroom really quickly’

you nodded and oikawa kissed your temple before he left towards the restroom

your eyes flitted across the different titles and you snatched a book of poetry

oikawa hurriedly walked over back to you but he didnt find you at the place you were before

so he continued sifting through the mini hallways of shelves and then he stopped

it was so,,, domestic 

seeing your bright eyes looking down at the book  on your hands and the way your mouth slightly moved with the words

it was such a simple sight yet why did you look so beautiful?

the shimmering eyes that flittered when you came across a sentence you liked 

the soft lips that kinda jutted out making his desire to feel it increase that he would give anything to feel on his own

you were so focused that you didnt notice him moving behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist, only noticing his head resting on your shoulder

‘’come, my darling, it is never too late to begin our love again’’

he mumbled to your ear and you released one hand from the book to grasp his arms that were around your middle

‘you read poetry?’

you whispered and oikawa chuckled

‘of course. a man as romantic as I am ought to be a poet’

he reasoned and you laughed

‘yet you fail to sway me, oikawa-san’

‘no, there is a difference. you dont want my love but i know you want to be loved by me, i can assure you!’

you swiftly placed the book back on its former place and you turned around to swing your arms around his neck

‘hmm,,,, love was never something for me. especially with you boys around’

oikawa looked down to see your shorter height and he caressed your hip

‘i love you, y/n, so let me love you the way you deserve to be’

he whispered not understanding the weight of his words and you looked down to hide the growing blush on your face before burying your face into his sweater-clad chest

‘so not fair oikawa-san’

you mumbled against the fabric but he heard it and he bursted into giggles

‘ehh~~ youre not being the fair one, y/n-chan! youre make it so hard to not fall for you when youre so beautiful~!’

he whines and you rested your chin on him so you could look up at him and your pout made him squeeze you tighter

‘hah?! that doesnt make sense! im nothing but a mess of-!’

you started but was cut off when he kissed your nose and whispered:

‘but what a beautiful mess you are’

okay so i know this is the saddest one out of the routes but ive just been serving fluff so the angst is coming soon!!!!!!

once you both were finished in the bookstore, you suggested going to this hill that allowed you to see the stars clearer

‘hmm, oikawa-san, there’s this place that natsu used to take me to whenever he wanted to see the stars so i think you’d like it’

you mentioned while walking on the sidewalk

oikawa’s hand was clutching yours and you were swinging it back and forth while lightly skipping and kicking the rocks

he watched you, amused, at how child-like you were acting right now but he was also touched, knowing your knowledge of his love for space

‘sure!’

the night sky allowed the stars to light up and you both shared giggles and laughs as the two of you stumbled over your feet with no light except from above

however once you made it to the top of the hill, oikawa pulled you close to him as you huddled on a seated position

‘how’d you know i would like this, y/n-chan?’

he asked and you gave him an obvious look

‘hah? its so obvious! you keep drawing the cancer constellation on your skin and you had an astrology book in your bag that you were also reading in the bus’

your answer brought warmth inside him and he never thought you were so perceptive of him

you noticed every little thing he does and hes,,,, never had someone do that before

except for iwa and his family and team, no one knows of his little ticks and the way he becomes obsessive of a topic once he gets interested in it

you noticed it all

‘that right there, its the big dipper!’

you pointed and he followed the direction of your finger before nodding

‘yep! waaahhh its much prettier seeing it higher up than my roof!’

he exclaimed and your gaze left the constellation towards the boy beside you

‘really,, pretty’

you absentmindedly muttered yet he was sharp and heard you

‘but its different to look at something much more beautiful’

this caused you to quickly go back to looking at the stars so you missed his love-filled eyes

‘i want to name my children by constellations. so that they can keep the oikawa legacy going forever like constellations being at the sky for all eternity. or naming it after the sky! then i can make sure theyre never going away’

he said and you nodded

you kept pointing out different shapes and laughing at his funky claims of what some stars connected to and created

‘oikawa-san, lets go to the star festival later’

you offered and he in turn looked away from you, turning red at the way the small lights illuminated your face and somehow making it more,,,, angelic

so he covered it up with his own teasing 

‘oh? the meeting of the two lovers?’

you dont know why but your cheeks burned at the mention of the ‘L’ word and oikawa noticed, quickly poking fun of your cheeks

‘oh, y/n-chan, dont be so shy!’

you pouted and turned away

‘never mind’

oikawa’s laugh rang throughout the space and he pulled you closer, practically sitting on his lap, while pointing out the stars and him pressing kisses to your cheeks

the intertwining of your fingers combined with the kisses made you feel as if you were floating with how free you felt

and you loved every moment of it

after that outing with your captain, you were conflicted

it wasnt the first time he’s openly said he loved you and his shower of affections have been there since the very beginning

yet how come you were just now feeling,,,,, different??

you were sure you felt an odd feeling inside you when he said your name with no usual suffix and it wasnt just the food that didnt agree with you

whenever his lips came in contact with your skin, it left blazing trails of red that spread out as far as it could

the heartbeat that quickened once he kissed your forehead at your doorstep and the grin you last saw when you closed the door

or the unknown smile that you didnt know you had on until natsu, who was visiting, pointed it out

‘darling, why are you just standing there? and why are you smiling like that? its weird, stop it’

you didnt even have the attitude to scold him and you giggled before twirling and holding his hand

‘oh, natsu~ i want to dance! and sing!’

you shouted, taking him with you and dancing around the living room

tbh natsu was very worried but he remembered you mentioning that you were meeting some guy today and it might be the reason as to why you were acting like this

he was happy

you deserved to be loved as you are and you were finally getting that love

but,,,,,,,,,

it didnt last long

albeit having a lot of fun, oikawa seemed,,,, off to you

it was,,, awkward

maybe it was because you were now aware of some type of growing attraction inside of you or every little thing he does to you could send you into shapeshifting and channeling your inner tomato

forget potato, youre now a tomato

but even his touches and affections were now limited

restricted

like the the next time you both saw each other, you shyly but happily bounded up to him and greeted him good morning

but his eyes widened, taking a step back before laughing awkwardly

‘ah ha ha, hey y/n-chan’

oikawa greeted then side-stepped to enter the gym

god you felt like you were slapped in the face

you remained frozen, staring at the spot he previously occupied and your mind was running quickly

was it because your senses were now heightened that everything made you extra sensitive?

usually, oikawa would squeal at the fact you were even greeting him this morning but he literally just walked away from you

no, you were just,,,,

overreacting

right?

yea, just,,,

overreacting

iwa noticed your downcast expression and he had a feeling it had something to do with oikawa’s off expression

you hurriedly placed your bag down and took out your notebook to start taking notes for their practice

big boy ace went up to you and placed a hand on your arm which caused you to flinch

he immediately backed off, letting go and stepping back

‘wh-hey? y/n? you okay? did something happen?’

he worriedly asked but you shook your head, not even bothering to meet his eyes

‘uh-yea. mhm, perfectly fine’

you lied and he wanted to press further but mattsun and makki called you over to check out their blocks so you ran to them

but he had a feeling you were just taking every opportunity to not answer his questions

while you were pre-occupied with the meme team, iwa marched up to oiks and tugged him around to fully talk to him

oikawa watched your interaction and he knew iwa would immediately start questioning him too

‘oi, what the hell did you do’

there was an underlying tone in his best friend’s voice that he didnt particularly like

oikawa did what he does best and plastered a smile on his face

‘hm? what do you mean, iwa-chan?’

‘what the hell do you mean what do i mean? you speak japanese dont you? so tell me what the hell happened during your date because it seems like shit happened and now youre both acting weird’

oikawa flinched at the blunt words but it was the truth

he was acting weird and this caused you to probably act weird too

god hes so dumb

but he,,, was going through stuff right now

it was a situation that he didnt want to involve you in 

and,,, seeing you dancing with natsu with the biggest smile on your face through the window of your house

okay guys dont think this is weird or stalker-ish bc i actually saw this in a kdrama ages ago and i thought it was just so sweet and cute and dont take it the weird and stalker creepy way :(

it certainly brought him pain

this was what he wanted though, right?

he wanted to see a reaction from you with his antics and he wanted to see you flustered and giggling like one of his lovestruck girls

but dear god that was when he became aware of your growing feelings

oikawa even saw it before you did with the way you gave him those longing stares and small smiles and the small squeezes of his hand when he would laugh

initially, he wouldve teased you for it but then he kept quiet

this entire time he knew you, he felt,,, love,,, for you

and by god, he was so scared

he wanted to run away

because he was well aware of his personality and him as a person 

he could make you smile the biggest and the happiest but he was also the type to make you feel the most pain and cause the deepest wounds on your already fragile heart

he didnt want that responsibility and burden

it was too risky

oikawa knew he was a ticking time bomb and he was afraid if you got even just a centimeter closer

you would be the one hit with the blast the most

maybe it was that sight that made him want to distance himself

it was a sight that made him realize that you deserved someone much better and that someone couldn’t be him

the happiness that danced in your eyes and the smile that decorate your beautiful face

can you imagine the irony?

the moment you notice of your growing feelings, the moment he decides to withdraw and pull away

.......

practice was,,, suffocating? 

the team knew of the tension these past few days and you both def were not the same

oikawa has not said he loved you or even pestered you once and as much as the guys hated seeing it, they were getting worried

did you both fight?

what happened?

when oikawa was talking with the coach and you were grabbing something from the storage room, they immediately took this chance to pounce on iwaizumi since he was the closest to the both of you

‘oi, iwaizumi, the hell happened?’

makki asked and the others nodded, wondering the same thing

but they were surprised when he shrugged

‘dont know. stupidkawa refuses to talk and i dont want to bother y/n bc she seems,,, weird about it’

if iwaizumi didnt know, then something serious did happen

you and oikawa continued this weird eggshell walking and you even gave up after trying to ask so many times on what was wrong and only to be answered with,

‘nothing~! y/n-chan should never have to worry her pretty little head about old me~!’

that answer didnt bother you

it was his smile

the genuine smile that you were so happy to receive as it was only for you

now seems gone and replaced with his fake one as if you now became one of his fangirls

what took the cake was his appearance to practice with a girl in his arm

they were both laughing and seemed trapped in their own little bubble to even notice the team’s wide eyes and concerned looks to you

you didnt even notice your teary eyes until mattsun quite literally picked you up and shouted he wanted to help you fill up the water bottles

he placed you outside, sitting on a bench by the gym

you were biting your lip and staring at the ground while he was leaning back and looking at the sky

‘the sky is very pretty today’

he complimented but it wasnt heard by you

you only came back to reality when he nudged you gently and you shot him a crooked smile but he sighed at the look of hurt written all over your face

‘oh, y/n, i am getting increasingly worried for our generation. theres so many sad eyes on happy faces’

he tutted and returned to gazing back up to the clouds

you scrunched your nose and scoffed

‘i dont understand you, mattsun-san’

you mumbled and fiddled with your fingers

mattsukawa issei shook his head and pointed above

‘y/n-chan, our eyes enables us to identify beauty and we have the urge to immediately capture it to remember that we did find something beautiful. yet, we feel hopeless as we cant to put the beauty on paper because we are only given one crayon to draw the sunset’

it felt all muddled

there was no sense in his words and you were sniffed, trying to understand

‘mattsun-san, did you eat any more of those candy makki-san bought from that one guy?’

he bursted into laughter and you couldnt help but quirk your lip at the sound of his joy

‘who knows? taka is my boy and i trust him so if he gave it to me, then,,,, it cant be that bad, right?’

you blanched

‘mattsun-san! im not about to go pick you up from the er again just because makki-san dared you to do something!’

mattsun finally wandered his eyes over to you and he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear

‘thats the thing with you, y/n-chan. youre quick to love others but you lose pieces of yourself in the process. i have no right to tell you who deserves it but please ask yourself, is that sacrifice worth it?’

you knew he wasnt talking about your love for the team

but for the love for a certain setter that didnt go unnoticed by the middle blocker

leave it to mattsun to make you laugh and you were letting out your last giggles as you stepped into the gym

oikawa stopped talking and focused on the two of you, 

more specifically,

you

he watched as you laughed and swatted mattsun’s elbow as he jokingly made fun of your height by resting his arm on top of your head

yes this was what it was supposed to be

you deserved someone who could make you smile and only smile

he doesnt even hesitate but even imagine the tears that would fill those beautiful eyes and he knows it would all be his fault

no

he will stop that from happening way before it would occur

he will do anything to make sure you will never cry because of him so he will distance himself and now, he gives up

it could just be his stress and insecurities talking but he knows right now,

he wants you away from him

oikawa tooru, the boy who could get anyone he wants, couldn’t get the girl he wishes for the most

dear god was it laughable

after practice was finished,

you quietly and quickly packed up the nets and picked up the balls to get yourself out of there

these past few days made you feel so much confusion that it hurts

if there was anything worse than him not talking to you,

it was not knowing why 

that curiosity and desperate need for answers creates wild and self-destructive theories 

did you chew too loudly when you ate?

were you boring and not as fun as the others?

was he angry and humiliated of his pride as a man when you scolded him for paying for you?

has he gotten tired of you now that he knows who you really are?

that last question suddenly created a new set of tears to appear

throughout the day, you were so composed and distracted yourself with the lectures of your teachers and not anything of why this certain brunette was avoiding you

but a single insecure question made that wall crumble and you hurriedly shoved the trolley of balls into the storage room and grabbed your bag before rushing out of there

you sniffled and hurriedly walked home so you could go and cry on your bed in peace

but ofc 

hiroshi natsu exists so ofc he distracted you when you entered the house with a red puffy face

quietly, he led you to the couch and he wordlessly grabbed a tissue box from the coffee table to dab away the tears

you sniffled and clenched your fists to will yourself to stop these dumb salty water drops

‘i cant tell you its going to be okay because i dont want you to cling on to false hope. but i know it hurts. its worse that of all people, oikawa tooru had to be your first ever crush’

he chuckled

you took a shaky breath and wiped your face

‘this was why i shouldnt have liked him. god! all we did was eat dinner and look at the stupid fcking sky! thats it! so why-! why do i suddenly like him?! AM I THAT DESPERATE?!’

you wailed and blew your nose while natsu patted your back

‘i mean,,, to others it sounds like youre easy to sway’

you looked up from the tissue to glare at him but he continued

‘but to me,,,, it sounds like it was just the last push you needed to finally see oikawa tooru in that way’

you nodded, laughing weakly

‘i dont know why im acting like a lunatic like this. hes just a crush anyway so it’ll probably fade in a day or two so bear with me until then, kay?’

but his grim shake of his head gave you no hope

‘rather than fade, it will grow. and i might have to bear with this for the rest of our lives. now you be a bad bitch and sit there and look fine as hell while i go order 10 boxes of pizza and load up teen moms’

the impromptu movie night distracted you a little bit from it all but you still couldn’t help but think about it

GOD WHY WAS NATSU SO DRAMATIC?!

BECAUSE OF THAT IDIOT YOU ARE NOW SITTING IN CLASS, BAGS UNDER YOUR EYES, AND BREAKING YOUR PENCILS IN HALF

all you have to do is make sure you think of oikawa doing something disgusting to make that attraction fade away

oikawa licking his toes

oikawa licking his toes

oikawa licking his toes

oikawa licking his-

‘y/n?’

you snapped out of your daydream when kunimi reached out to you

kindaichi, who came over for lunch, and him were staring at you in concern and they shared a look

‘y/n, something must’ve happened that day with captain’

kunimi started but kindaichi snapped

‘see?! this is why we shouldve never let you go! the first time you go with him and now youre a mess! tell us! did he force himself on you?! did he-?!’

you stopped the onion top boy with a forced smile and a squeeze on the arm

‘o-oikawa-san would never do that, kindaichi. hes better than that’

‘but clearly not because look at you!’

he shouted and you flinched 

kunimi hurriedly knocked him to the floor

‘get ahold of yourself, kindaichi’

he mumbled and you stood up and walked to the bathroom at the west wing that nobody uses so you could freely cry without any suspicion

was it obvious?

was it clear that you have been a mess after a week of being ignored by oikawa?

nah, youre just being a dramatic little shit

youre sticking to your word of quickly forgetting about the whole ordeal

but you definitely cant if your nightmare was happening before your eyes

as you approached the bathroom from the end of the hallway, 

you saw an unknown girl but an all too familiar boy giggling and rushing to get inside the bathroom

and for good measure, oikawa looked around to make sure no one was there but then he saw you

despite the distance between you, he could see your glistening eyes from the sunlight that seeped in from the big windows

he saw the way your hand trembled and your eyes twitched when haruna poked her head out to see why he was still outside

‘oikawa-senpai~~’

she drawled out and reached a manicured nail to his wrist 

your eyes followed her touch and then you and the boy shared eye contact

through the watery eyes, he could clearly make out your silent plead

please dont go to her

please

stay with me

dont go

but he went in anyways

------

that was the moment you forced yourself to not think about him anymore

as if you werent even working your hardest lately, you will work your hardest now

everything between you and him was now strictly professional as practice that day signified the very first day of your moving on stage

you couldnt believe these past 2 weeks has been a real nightmare yet you were slowly waking up from it

there was nothing you could do about it bc oikawa obviously didnt mean anything he said to you and maybe thats what ticked you off the most

you were easily led on

he blindly tugged you along the moment you saw his smile

he definitely thought of you as just as a game and when he finally got tired and bored, he dropped you and went to another

kunimi and kindaichi noticed the coldness of your eyes and the stoic expression on your face and they were genuinely terrified of you so they didnt want to ask any questions

even with packing up, you aggeressively shoved everything in your bag and the blep boy finally gained the courage and nervously tapped his finger on your desk to gain your attention

you swiftly dropped in your pencil case and looked at him

‘what’

he flinched at the cold tone and his eyes showed concern

‘uh-i-are you okay?’

he slowly asked and you visibly clenched your jaw but you nodded anyways

‘never better’

you didnt bother waiting for him to finish packing up and even passed kindaichi by the door as you were walking towards the girl’s locker room to change into your manager outfit

your entrance to the gym made the noise die down and you noticed the third years with glares on and aggressively practicing

‘whats wrong with all of you’

you asked and iwa scoffed before shaking his head and opening his arm

‘cmere. i missed you’

he said and ngl you were a little confused bc this wasnt something iwa usually did but you still stuck to his side

‘why-’

‘he told me what happened’

iwa whispered and you stiffened in his arms

‘w-what?’

iwaizumi flung the boy to his own bedroom wall

he huffed, panting at both the weight of oikawa tooru and the intense anger that burned through his veins

‘you-you are a piece of shit!’

he shouted and he moved to grab oikawa’s collar and lifted him so the brunette could see the fire and disgust present in his olive eyes

‘you think i didnt see what the hell you did? fcking leaving y/n sobbing as you-you-! AGH!’

iwaizumi couldnt even finish his sentence as he was so angry that he harshly sent oikawa flying back down to his floor

oikawa was crying

not from the beating

but from his regrets

god he knew he messed up

he shouldnt have done it

but he did

iwa ran his hands through his hair and angrily sat on his best friend’s bed, eyes shooting daggers at oikawa

‘right now. tell me the truth right fcking now or so help me god’

he hissed 

oikawa tooru shuffled closer to the wall and brought his knees up to his chest

‘im so scared’

he sobbed

‘im so scared, iwa-chan’

his tears were pouring down and he brought a hand to muffle his cries

‘i-i just w-wanted to-to see something out of her. li-like a reaction! because she wasnt like th-the others! but instead i fell in love! me! and she did too!’

he pointed and quickly stood up, pacing and gripping his hair

‘it was all just for fun! she-she knows im like that! yet she still fell in love with me!’

‘how could you tell she-’

‘BECAUSE OF HER EYES!’

even iwa flinched

‘HER EYES SHOWED ME LOVE! HAPPINESS! AN-AND YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DID?! WHEN SHE GOT HOME?! THROUGH HER WINDOW, I SAW HER DANCING! SO HAPPY SHE WAS DRAGGING THAT BASTARD COUSIN OF HERS AROUND! I DID THAT! I CAUSED THAT!’

there was so much confusion in this poor spiky haired boy bc he knew oikawa was in love with their manager so why is he avoiding her now even though she reciprocates those feelings?

‘im missing something here, oikawa. youre telling me, she loves you, but youre here regretting that?’

his tone of disbelief made oikawa shut his eyes in frustration

‘DONT YOU UNDERSTAND?! YOU CALL ME A PIECE OF SHIT EVERYDAY AND I KNOW THAT! I FCKING KNOW THAT IM A PIECE OF SHIT AND A FCKING BASTARD!’

he shrieked

thankfully, his family wasnt home currently to see him breakdown

‘SO WHY THE HELL DO I DESERVE A LITERAL ANGEL?! A GODDESS?! A BEAUTIFUL PERSON FOR ME?! A FCKED UP NARCISSIST EGOTISTICAL IDIOT?! AN IDIOT WHO’S TOO PRIDEFUL TO GET THE HELP HE NEEDS?! I COULD HURT HER! I COULD DESTROY HER IN A SINGLE SNAP! THE SCARIEST FACT IS I COULD DO IT WITHOUT THINKING! I COULD SAY THE WORST THINGS TO HER AND IM SO SCARED THAT I WILL HURT HER! I DONT DESERVE HER, IWA! SHE DESERVES SOME-SOMEONE LIKE YOU! AND IT HURTS TO THINK THAT BUT I DONT CARE! A-AND WHAT IF WE GET TOGETHER?! HM?! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT WOULD TAKE HER TILL SHE FINDS SOMEONE BETTER?! HOW MUCH CAN SHE TAKE OF GOING THROUGH EPISODES OF SOME DEPRESSED, INSECURE, PRIDEFUL ASHOLE LIKE ME?! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK SHE WOULD REALIZE HER SELF-WORTH AND KNOW HOW MUCH OF A SHITTY PERSON I AM?! I CANT-!’

iwaizumi pushed himself up from the bed and rushed to grab his best friend before forcing the brown haired boy to his chest

oikawa tooru was having a panic attack

he heaved and wheezed and loudly let out his cries and iwa made them sit on the floor where he could comfortably cry

‘youre such an idiot, tooru. but she knows that, doesn’t she? she knows who you are, what you are, how you are, your flaws, everything- she knows all that. yet she still fell for you, doesnt that tell you something? for once in your life, consider other people’s feelings before yours. y/n is one hell of a girl and i wont allow you to let her slip past you just like that. i know- we all know- how much of a broken person you are, oikawa, and it hurts us all to know that no matter what we do, we can never fix you. but y/n-gosh, y/n is the only person to even have a chance to do that. and you admitted that youre depressed and you have a problem? well,, get some help for that, oikawa. the first step to be better is by accepting the only person who can accept you for you’

iwaizumi didnt reveal to the other third years of what happened but just said that oikawa did a really terrible thing to you and hes currently repenting for it

however mattsun and makki pretended they didnt hear oikawa regretting it and focused on the fact that the captain even had the NERVE to hurt you

iwa squeezed you tightly and you returned the hug

but he whispered something in your ear

‘everyone makes mistakes, y/n. the only thing we can do is to repent for them’

you pulled away, about to ask him what hes talking about but one look from his eyes made you realize what he was talking about

he mustve known what happened but hes defending him

you clenched your jaw and looked away

‘i destroyed myself for a stupid reason and its one of my regrets. im not going to make the same mistake twice’

you quietly hissed and moved to your station by the bench to begin taking your notes

you noticed that oikawa was late for practice today and although you kinda hate him, you are still a manager first and he was one of your responsibilities

you were about to go to the coach and tell him you’d look for the setter when the gym door slid and in came the devil himself

but there was a large bruise on his cheek and a cut on his lip

your feet moved quicker than the rest of you that you were in front of him in a second

‘what happened to you’

you worriedly asked and oikawa just stared at you

his eyes shook and watered at the sight of you

this was the first time you talked to him without any coldness in your tone and he missed it

he missed hearing you

his silence made you roll your eyes and you roughly grabbed his arm before throwing him on the bench you were sitting on

the team watched, on edge of whats happening, but was put back to practice when you gave them a side-eye

your fingers opened the ointment and your kit to treat the bleeding lip and the swollen side of his face

‘youre the captain. its not wise to fight before practice and be late. youre hindering everyone else’

you coldly scolded and oikawa shrank back

‘it was iwa-chan’

he mumbled and you stopped and quirked an eyebrow

‘what? why did he-’

then you froze

iwa knew

and he beat oikawa up for it

he fought his best friend for it

and iwa didnt look fazed at all

despite being a muscle freak, iwa was very soft and his iron defiency made him prone to bruising

yet why was he so clean

it was like iwa hit oikawa but in turn, the other didnt fight back

no

you must stop

youre overthinking again and youre over analyzing it and youll end up at the place you were before

however

oikawa noticed the dawn of realization on your face and he shakily reached out to touch your hand

‘i,,, didnt. because i deserved it. i-’

he sniffed and you knew he would start crying right now

the last thing he wanted would be to cry in front of the others so you immediately stood up and went to the coach

‘coach, oikawa-san needs treatment that i dont currently have with me. i would need to take him to the infirmary’

he nodded and waved you off so you had the clear

oikawa flinched when you harshly grabbed his arm and pulled him up so he could follow you out the door

it was such an awkward silence between you both but you bit your lip, focusing on the fact that you were just doing this bc he was your obligation

it was like you threw him to one of the cots then you rummaged through the medicine cabinet for an extra cotton ball and a better ointment

‘i fcked up, y/n’

your movements halted and your eyes drifted down, looking at the tiled floor

‘i messed up so bad’

he hoarsely said and you could tell how much pain he was going through by the way he let out a shaky breath

‘oika-’

you made a move to turn around but he stopped you

‘no! dont look at me! just-just dont,,, i cant-i wont be able to say it if i look at you’

he cried and you nodded

oikawa leaned his forehead on his intertwined hands with his eyes on the floor before starting

‘i want to say im sorry. because everything, all of this, it all started as a game to me’

you closed your eyes tightly, tears welling up in your eyes

‘you,,, you didnt bat a single eyelash at me. you didnt try to please me, you didnt chase after me, no, you didnt see me like that. it made me,,, i dont know,,, confused,,, that girls like you even existed. it,,, not gonna lie, ticked me off and i was offended that you brushed me away so easily like i was some,, some bug on your shoulder. so,,, i wanted to see,,, and try,,, if i could make you,,, like me. and i know! i know its messed up but god y/n i swear i didnt want to hurt you. i just,,, i wanted to see if i could ever make you look at me like the way they did but it backfired. i wanted you to chase me but in the end, i ended up chasing after you. i chased and i ran without knowing that you were slowing down for me so i could catch you. that,,, that date made me realize of how,,, how perfect and beautiful you are a-and how unworthy i am to even receive anything from you. i saw how happy you were after that, dancing, twirling that poor idiot around. at first,, it made me so so proud. and so happy that i made you do that. i put those stars from the sky into your eyes and somehow you made them shine much brighter. then,,,, i got scared. i started thinking about,,, about me. and how i am. ive been trying so hard to please other people that ive lost sight of the real me and how terrible i am. and y-you! i just- y/n its so hard for me to explain all this right now- my current mental state, the pain on my face- i cant,,, but at that moment i realized that you,,, you were better off without me. youre so kind, so beautiful, so smart, you could go do so many good things in life. and im just going to hold you back. i didnt want to hurt you so i,,, chose to just cut the string now and,, we wont get hurt later. but,,, i regret it. i regret it so much, y/n. all my life,,, everyone cooed and awed at this child just because of how he looked like and,,, he got used to it. everyone wanted me because i am oikawa tooru but they didnt want the entire oikawa tooru. iwa,,, iwa hit it into my head that,,, you,, were the only one who bothered to even see that side of me’

when he finished, he looked up but gasped at the sight of you standing in front of him

fat tears were rolling down your face and you wore the angriest expression

‘i-,,,i hate you so much, oikawa tooru’

you seethed

your eyebrows were scrunched up together and your nostrils flared as you cried harder and you let out a cry

‘i hate you, i hate you, i hate you’

you chanted and oikawa saw his vision cracking

his world was now falling apart

he did the last thing he would ever do and you were now at your most pained moment

‘youre so selfish, impulsive, and terrible’

you whined and punched his shoulder at each word

‘but i love you so much. i hate you because you made me cry and made me feel so hurt but i still love you. why-why cant you stop playing your games, tooru? stop playing with me now! stop it! stop-!’

you didnt get to say anything else because he grabbed your waist and held you in his arms

it was like you didnt even weigh a thing by the way he lifted you to sit on his lap and he gently led your face to his neck

‘im so sorry’

he repeated constantly while brushing your hair and rubbing your waist

you and oikawa tooru spent an hour sitting on that bed just crying 

after a while, you stopped and resulted to just hiccuping

‘youre selfish, tooru. you listened to yourself and did whatever you wanted rather than talking to me. i hate you but i,,, i love you, oikawa-san. i shouldnt say that but if i dont, im afraid you’ll go ahead and do something stupid again’

he chuckled but he squeezed you tighter

‘i dont,,, want to let you go, y/n-chan. let me be selfish a little longer and love you all to myself’

and by god did he become selfish

it took you a while to get over your defensive and guarded actions from him but you were slowly finding yourself forgiving him

YO IM SORRY BUT I WOULDVE DROPPED HIM LIKE PLEASE WHAT THE HECK Y/N REALLY REALLY LOVES THIS GUY

natsu absolutely despises him still and whenever oikawa even comes over, hes always glaring at him and oikawa would shift uncomfortably but accept it bc he deserved it

‘i didnt realize how badly i hurt you, y/n. i could never imagine you accepting me still. ill spend the rest of my life making it up to you’

he promised and you laughed

you were both lounging on your bedroom floor, mean girls playing in the background, while just staring at the ceiling

you brought your clasped hands up so you could look at it

then a goofy smile settled on your face and you turned to look at him

‘just continue loving me, oikawa-san. thats all i ask for’

then graduation came

of course the boys were all teary but oikawa seemed even more sad and he refused to look at you the whole day

you figured it could just be him being mopey over not seeing you everyday like he was able to before

then you both were walking home and he still hasnt looked at you

the silence was killing you but you just kept a tight grip on his hand and he would smile at you and kiss your hands

it still didnt wash away the odd feeling in your stomach but you would talk to him later after you gave him present

for the weekend, you were able to convince your parents to go on a beach trip at okinawa while you made natsu go over to tokyo and stay with katsuki

oikawa didnt know your family was out so he stood by your door, waiting for you to enter

you both stood there, staring at the floor, not knowing what to say

until you softly grabbed his hand

‘come in. i want,,, to talk’

you mumbled and oikawa’s eyes widened, silently panicking that you possibly found out

it was a secret not even iwaizumi knew so you couldnt have known

right?

you led him up to your room and pushed him down to sit on your bed

FLKDSJFLKDJ WHY AM I DOING THIS WHAT IS HAPPENING SOSOSOSOSOSOSOS

ALSO Y/N IS NOW 17 ON THIS YOU GUYS LIKE BLS SHES ONE OF THE OLDEST IN HER CLASS BC HER BIRTHDAY SITUATION SO SHES BEYOND THE AGE OF CONSENT IN JAPAN, RIGHT?

oikawa was confused and he watched you bite your lip and look off to the side

‘y/n-chan? why are you nervous? you said you wanted to talk?’

he asked

but you unzipped your skirt and let it drop on the floor

‘for graduating,,, and working hard for these years,,, im giving you this’

you finally met his eyes

then he knew

oikawa blanched and he quickly stood up and placed his hands on your shoulder

‘y-y/n! uh-i-are you sure? a-arent you-’

‘accept it, tooru. youre,,, my first love,,, so,,,, ill give you my other first’

KSDLFJSDKFJSDLK OKAY YALL LETS STOP THERE FOR NOW AND GO TO THE TIMESKIP OKAY?

OKAY

-----

oikawa was running in the airport

despite the shouts of civilians he accidentally pushed, he made no sign of stopping and if anything, ran faster till he reached outside

the rush of his sudden trip home was clear as he was only carrying a duffel bag full of clothing he hurriedly stuffed inside 

when he met the orange ninja boy in brazil, he quickly caught up with his underclassman and got drinks to talk about japan the last 2 years of his career

they both got simple beers and some appetizer to share as they reminisced the past

hinata was excitedly talking about the reconciliation of kindaichi and kageyama and how they were still enemies on court but were now friends

‘eh~? tobio-chan making up with kin-chan? what’s next? flying sushi?’

he joked and hinata laughed

‘it was partly of your manager, oikawa-san! she helped them make up!’

the previous smile on oikawa’s face slipped at the mention of you 

‘hmm,,,, she always made the impossible happen’

he mumbled and hinata nodded

‘l/n-chan became close to kageyama through kindaichi and kunimi and she would bring us food and stuff too! but only on times she wasn’t busy’

the ninja said and dipped his chip into the salsa while oikawa stared at the liquid

‘you guys must be special for her to go all the way to karasuno’

then hinata said something that caused the brunette’s ears to fall deaf to the loudness of the bar

‘it wasn’t a problem since coach ukai took care of her son’

oikawa didnt even give hinata another word when he rushed out of that bar after overcoming his shock and straight into his apartment

there were tears that blurred his vision as he shoved in shirts and pants and other necessities for a trip to japan

he argued with the front desk lady to give him a ticket to the earliest flight to japan despite her saying that it was hard to give him a seat when the plane was full

but luck seemed to pity this baby daddy as someone pulled their ticket out and he was able to take it for himself

it was the longest journey of his life and his hour long layover gave him an opportunity to call the only person he thought would even know where you were

iwaizumi

oikawa paced at the waiting lobby with his phone pressed to his ear as he listened to the ringing of his call

he bit his lip in anticipation and ran his fingers through his hair for the upteenth time until finally it was picked up

‘damn you, shittykawa, do you understand what time-’

‘iwaizumi, is y/n still in japan?’

of course his best friend was startled with the question as the setter hasnt asked him any question related to you in a few years

‘wha-how the hell am i supposed to know that? im in california, oikawa’

‘dont lie to me. she still talks to you since youre probably the godfather of my son’

he hissed and iwaizumi was now fully awake and his heartbeat was beating quite quickly 

how did he figure out

‘oi, oikawa, listen to me she-’

‘please! dont!’

he shouted and didnt care if he startled anyone else around him

‘dont lie to me! of all people! you dont lie to me!’

‘why should i tell you when you were the one who up and ran? huh?’

oikawa fell silent and iwaizumi could hear his sobs through the phone

iwa sat up on his bed, leaning against the wall as he contemplated revealing this secret you begged him to keep since his best friend sounded like he was on the verge of breaking apart

poor oikawa tooru already suffered so much

‘i swear youre going to make me regret this. but y/n is in,,,, tokyo and,,,,, she,,,,,, didnt want you to know about,,,, about everything. well-she did want to tell you but she had her own reasons not to and,,, and its perfectly valid for her to choose whatever she wanted. and yes, i knew and yes, i am his godfather but please, oikawa, whatever you do, dont go to japan, you understand? shes still hurt by it, idiot, and shes angry and you sound angry and-’

but of course,

oikawa didnt listen and he hung up but continued his pacing but this time, tears blurring his vision

the taxi driver noticed his frazzled expression and quickly stopped in front of him

oikawa gratefully hopped in and quickly told the driver the address he forced out of iwaizumi (with great reluctance)

‘this is the last time, understand me, tooru? youve already hurt her so many times and i cant bear to see it all over again so you need to fix it. but you mess this up again, not only will you lose her, you’ll lose me too’

the old man felt sorry for the young lad and stepped on the pedal to get him to his destination in the quickest time 

the apartment building was several stories tall yet the elevator ride felt like a snap when he finally arrived at the floor your apartment was supposedly on

what the real kicker was when he stood outside your door and he hesitated

would you let him in?

would you even want to see him?

would you punch him?

would you cry?

he was so worried but didnt realize that he already pushed the doorbell and a faint shout from inside made his heart jump

‘UNCLE KYOOoooo,,,,,’

the door opened and the boy’s voice went quiet, knowing this wasnt the man he was expecting and he quickly and harshly slammed the door shut to his face

oikawa was stunned

was this the right apartment?

did iwaizumi trick him?

but those thoughts were wiped away when the door opened again and a girl was softly chiding the boy before turning around with a smile to greet the person but then it fell

similar to her son, she slammed the door shut and oikawa panicked

‘y-y/n? h-hey!’

he exclaimed and with a clenched fist, he stood there

you were hyperventilating inside

how did he find you?

why is he here?

does he know?

‘mama? who’s that oji?’

the bright eyes of yozora looked up at you and you blinked, briefly seeing the man behind the door at the face of your son

you sucked in a deep breath before smiling lightly

‘yoyo-kun, can you go play with dino-kun while mama and oji talk?’

yozora blinked back up at you before shrugging and nodding and running off to your shared room

once he was gone, you quickly composed yourself and opened the door again, shocked to see oikawa already half-way down the hallway to the elevator

‘would you like some tea before you go?’

you called out and he stopped, almost giving himself whiplash at how fast he turned his head

it was like his instincts took over when your voice started speaking to him

as if he was 18 again, oikawa found himself trailing after your voice and you nervously led him inside

his eyes were moving really fast as if he wanted to quickly soak it all in before it would disappear

this was where you lived

with your son

who was his son too

there was a picture by the door of you and the little boy from earlier

it was at the planetarium nearby and tooru’s heart bloomed at the sparkle in that child’s eyes

jesus, he was beautiful

‘yozora. thats his name’

you said, noticing him staring at the picture

KDFLJSDKFSD PRINCE NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM BABIESSS!!!

‘night sky’

oikawa whispered

the teapot was still hot and you were able to pour him a cup so you both sat on the dining table where he sat across from you

‘n-nice place’

he stuttered out

you nodded, tracing the rim of your own cup

‘its natsu’s and katsuki’s actually. my parents kicked me out so they offered to let me stay with them’

you reasoned, not meaning to sound cold but it came out as if you were being passive agressive

‘o-oh? ho-how is he-’

‘oikawa-san, what are you doing here?’

he visibly flinched

calling him by his last name stung since you called him ‘tooru’ the whole relationship so returning to his surname is your way of cutting off the whole thing

‘i,,, i found out. a few days ago. from shoyo. he told me their coach looked after yozora and,,, i knew he is,,, mine’

you let out a humorless chuckle

a scoff

then you looked up to meet his gaze, oikawa gulping at the hardness in your eyes

‘what makes you think so? what makes you think that i wasnt angry and spiteful enough to give myself to someone else so they could have what the great oikawa tooru had? what makes you think that i would remain loyal to you despite you just running off to the other side of the fcking world without a word? hm? oikawa-san? what.makes.you.think.so?’

out of guilt, he broke the stare to his own steaming cup of green tea

‘nothing’

you whispered

he shakingly sighed and you could tell he was about to cry

but you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms

‘go ahead and cry, oikawa-san. im used to temper tantrums. i have a son for god’s sake’

‘you would never do that to me, y/n. you promised that you would always love me and only me and i know you take promises to your grave’

he reasoned but it sounded like it was him convincing himself

the dry laugh you let out made him fidget

‘and you promised that you would always talk to me and communicate. yours is a much lighter and easier promise than mine yet you get to break it and i can’t? no, oikawa-san. to me, its like that year never even happened’

you were now just trying to rile him up due to your anger towards him

you shouldve let him walk to the elevator and leave and never come back

but you still invited him in anyways

oikawa snapped his head up

‘you cant say that or mean it, y/n. that boy over there, hes a reminder of me. he looks exactly like me so you cant ever forget what we have’

‘what he had. it was simply the past, years ago, and everything has changed since then. dont you dare try to dig up buried secrets, oikawa’

‘but why did you keep him from me?’

he pleaded, desperate for any answer as to why

‘i had every right. the moment you boarded that plane, he no longer was yours. you left, i stayed, and you cant just come back here and-’

‘mama?’

a small voice from the corner halted your loud voice and you and tooru looked at him

oikawa yozora was exactly like his father

from his loud and obnoxious personality to even the brown hair and brown eyes

KFDSLJFKDS REMEMBER THAT KID FROM OLD UKAI’S VOLLEYBALL CLUB?! THATS WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE!!

he looked absolutely nothing like you and people even get confused when you say hes your son

um maam i think hes my son since he came out of me

so oikawa was right

yozora was your daily reminder of the mistakes of your youth but he was anything but that as he is the greatest thing to ever happen to you

yozora became your light when you fell into depression after oikawa ran away

sure, your parents absolutely loathed poor child as he is a child of a child

but you kept him because he means the world to you

and the world he holds are in his eyes

‘i,, i heard yelling,,, and,,, thought mama and oji were sad,,, so,,, i bring my,,, star book because,,, it makes me happy,,, and i think,,, mama and oji will,,, be happy too’

he mumbled out and you smiled at him before moving to go to him but oikawa stopped you

his eyes begged you and you glared at him, deciding to withdraw

if he decides to do anything, you could always knee him between the legs

he slowly approached yozo and kneeled down to reach eye-level

‘hello, my name is oikawa tooru’

he softly introduced himself and yozora just stared at him

‘you oikawa too? but i oikawa! mama is he me?!’

yozora shouted and you giggled, running to take him into your arms

‘oh, darling, how curious you are. oji isnt you, baby. he just,,, has the same last name as you. like mama has hers but you have,,, oji’s’

your eyes drifted to oikawa but he remained on the floor, staring at the spot where yozo stood on

you kept his last name

you listened to him from that night at the hill by naming his son after the night sky

my god, you are so,,, 

‘--the book. oji? do you?’

he was brought back to reality when your son was now back on the floor and poking his shoulder

tooru blinked and looked at him

‘huh?’

‘i ask if you want to read my book with me, oji. mama say she happy but you still sad so my book make you happy’

not even an hour of meeting him, oikawa tooru already loves him

the volleyball player nodded and yozora offered a tiny hand to which he accepted

‘this way. mama say to read so she make food. i like food, do you like food, oji? i like food. i like milk bread. mama say papa like it so i like what papa like. i want papa to come home. sit there’

tooru’s heart beat faster every word his child uttered and it even went faster when he saw yozo struggle to get up on the couch

the pair of big hands that brought him on the cushion made him happily sigh then uttered a small ‘thank you’

‘my mama say that my papa give me my book and say to take care of it until he come back. and she say he come back when im a master of space! so i study and read my book every day and know all so papa can hurry home!’

tooru didnt even notice tears falling down his face until yozo blinked up at him with his small hands grasping his cheeks to wipe it off

‘why you cry, oji? no sad! no sad! here! i read my book so you not cry’

he babbled and quickly pried the book open and read out the words on the page, not realizing he was saying most of it wrong

that book was oikawa’s

the book that he read all the time in the bus and now, it was passed on to his son

you leaned against the wall and gasped at the sight of yozo just babbling and oikawa crying

‘yoyo-kun? what did you do to tooru?’

you fussed and sat down next to oikawa

yozo worriedly looked at him and now his own eyes were watering and soon enough, you have 2 boys crying in your living room

GURL IM SORRY BUT I WOULDA KICKED OUT OIKAWA LIKE NOT EVEN OFFER HIM TEA OR ANYTHING IM SORRY IM TIRED AND IDK WHATS GOING ON

‘a-ah, y-yozo! yozo-kun! oji is,,, just,,, uh,, sad because,, because pluto isnt a planet anymore!’

yozo sniffled and he went closer to oikawa

‘me too, oji. yoyo sad too because pluto is just small. other planet are onii-chan and onee-chan but pluto is baby so they not like him’

he rambled and oikawa pulled him closer

‘mama, can we keep oji? nana-san and katsu-san will like him! promise!’

you couldnt even believe what was going on right now

not only did your baby daddy ex-boyfriend suddenly pop up, your son was now wanting to keep him

you made a move to of course deny his request but oikawa opened his mouth first

‘yozora-kun, of course you could keep me. im your papa, after all’

OKAY THAT WAS IT

YOU DID NOT WANT HIM TO SAY THAT TO YOZORA

out of shock, you slapped him across the face

causing yanno what happened

oikawa screamed

a/n: yoooooo SO LIKE THIS IS RIDICULOUS LIKE THIS IS BOOTY IM SORRY BUT THIS IS ALSO IN MY GOING TO EDIT LIST AND I CHOSE THIS OUT OF MY 10 OTHER VERSIONS OF THIS ROUTE AND I MAY OR MAY NOT RELEASE ANOTHER ONE JUST TO MAKE UP FOR IT. but try not to let this flop 🥺 👉👈

ALSO CHI THAT K+Y AND THE T+Y IS ON THE WORKS RN AND IM LIKE HALF WAY DONE SO I MIGHT RELEASE THEM BOTH AT THE SAME TIME

[wavesmp3]

idk if you're still doing the title thingie but if you are maybe changmin with drunk on you 👀

drunk on you | changmin x reader | (disclaimer: the formatting of this story is something ive read before but I can’t remember where I’ve seen it)

vodka.

it begins when your teenagers. not actually, but it’s the first time you and changmin really hang out and talk apart from the past two years of shared classes and curt greetings. a party, you tell your friends when they ask where the hell you and ji changmin became friends the following monday, we shared a vodka shot. you don’t think to mention the way you both spit out the clear liquid immediately after.

jello shots.

university is underwhelming for the most part, a blur of all nighters and drinking too much caffeine before every exam. but at least you’ve had changmin by your side the entire time. you hadn’t arrived at university expecting to grow so close to him, but it seems fate had different plans. from evening strolls exploring campus freshman year to preparing jello shots in kevin’s apartment two nights before graduation. “one for the road.” you say, handing him a shot and holding one of your own, a sort of homage to all the shots you’ve taken together throughout the years. taking the shot from your hand, he jokingly warns you not to end the night in your own puke. you gasp, shoving his arm, “hey, that only happened once.”

his eyes widen dramatically at that, pupils darting around the room as if waiting for someone else to come to his defense. it’s just you two. bringing the plastic shot up to his lips he mutters, “it happened on your birthday every year but yeah, okay, sure.”

tequila.

going out tonight was meant to be something fun. after having a particularly rough week at work, you and changmin both decide a night out is what you need. but there’s something inexplicably off about the chill running down your spine and the tingling in your fingers. there’s something not right about how cold you get waiting outside for a car despite the number of tequila shots you took.

“what’s wrong?”

“nothing,” you shake your head at his question, hoping the lie becomes the truth, “just cold.”

clicking his tongue, he pulls his coat off and dumps it on your shoulders, muttering, “i told you to dress warmer.”

and with the warmth of his jacket draped over your shoulders, you seem to forget that anything was ever wrong to begin with.

beer. 

“i told you a scary movie was a bad idea,” you complain, sinking further into changmin’s sofa as if it’ll get you farther away from the tv screen. the original plan wasn’t to watch a horror movie tonight, but when changmin realized the two of you have never watched one together, he insisted on it.

he turns away from the screen to look at you, bursting into laughter at the blanket you have pulled up to your chin. all you’re able to do is mumble a small shut up.

“i didn’t know you’d get this scared, but here,” he says, reaching over to take your hand in his, “just squeeze when you get scared. it’ll be fine. i promise.”

and in his defense, the tactic is effective because the moment he holds your hand, the movie is all but forgotten.

this shouldn’t feel so weird, you think watching the way he runs a finger over your knuckles. you’ve held changmin’s hand before. but then what is it about right now that ignites a flame in your chest and a fluttering in your stomach and—oh

you like him.

gin and tonic. 

things get sorta weird after that.

hanging out with changmin becomes near impossible. because bluntly, you aren’t sure you can handle the way you feel like your heart will implode everytime he looks at you and makes you laugh. you start avoiding him, pulling out lame excuses with each text you get from him asking to hang out. it feels odd to not see changmin as often as you used to, wrong even. but there’s something more profoundly wrong and off about the way you’re up at night thinking about him that makes you say no when he calls asking if you want to go out for drinks that friday.

“you’re never free anymore,” he whines when you reject the plans, claiming to have to work late that day. you don’t respond to that, unable to make yourself lie to him again. he only sighs, a tired and frustrated sound, then murmurs, “i miss you.”

you hang up soon after that.

wine. 

“let’s play truth or dare,” someone suggests at a gathering of old university friends. an entirely out of place suggestion when compared to the fancy cheese and expensive wine that kevin prepared for tonight. 

(“what is this?” you had asked upon arrival, snickering at the display. kevin only waves you off beginning to name the different types of cheese. and when changmin arrives, five minutes after you and already laughing at the quiet jazz playing in the background, kevin gives you both a tired look and walks away, muttering something about adulthood.)

surprisingly, kevin is the first to agree. 

and as you go around the circle, tipsily giggling when chanhee admits to being the one who broke kevin’s blender during junior year, you catch yourself thinking back on those days. it’s almost funny how simple things used to be back then and how complicated things have become now. watching changmin laugh at chanhee’s admission, you long for the days before you realized you were in love him. 

“okay, changmin truth or dare?” chanhee asks.

“truth.”

“have you ever had a crush on anyone here?”

the question sends a few ‘oohs’ traveling through the air and your gut straight to your throat. you can’t bring yourself to look up from your wine glass.

“yeah.” changmin admits, clearing his throat. the whole room erupts.

“who?”

“that’s too much.”

“it’s no fun if you don’t say who.”

“i- well,” he hesitates, rubbing the back of his neck. and it’s in his small moment of hesitation that the room goes quiet. you look up, for the first time since the question’s been asked, and find changmin staring at you. it takes another second for you to realize that the entire circle is staring too.

“me?” you breathe, tapping your own chest in disbelief.

“yeah,” he laughs, covering his face with his hands, “back in college.”

the game continues and everyone, including changmin, seems to move on. you, on the other hand, spend the rest of the night thinking that perhaps college wasn’t as simple as you remember it being.

—

“i had no idea, you know,” you start, walking down the sidewalk with changmin who had insisted on taking you back home arguing that it was on his way anyways, “that you liked me in university.”

he chuckles shyly, “i sorta thought everyone knew.” you shake your head no. after some time, he says, “actually, if i’m being honest, i liked you before then too.”

“as in what?” you breathe, hoping your voice doesn’t give away how nervous you feel at the suggestion. “like high school?”

“yeah,” he shrugs in a nonchalant way that doesn’t at all match the erratic beating of your heart, “i probabaly started liking you the first time we met.”

you stop walking entirely, a sudden burst of fearlessness throwing the question “when did you stop?” out of your mouth before you can even think to hold it in.

he doesn’t answer immediately, visibly gulps, before whispering a ‘huh.’ the single word so quiet you would’ve missed it if you hadn’t been listening so intently for it. stepping closer, you repeat, “you started liking me back in high school, so when did you stop?”

and maybe it’s the faint smell of wine that’s hanging off your tongue or the sirens going off in the distance. or perhaps it has something to do with the flips your stomach is doing when changmin fails to answer again. but something about the night air and the numbness in your fingers, gives you just enough courage to make you step closer, lean towards the boy you’ve known forever, and ask, “did you?”

and for the third time that night, he doesn’t say anything back. instead he stands still, gaze flicking between your eyes and your lips like he can’t decide where exactly to focus.

“truth or dare?” he finally asks, so close you can feel the exhale of words before you really hear them.

“truth.”

he smiles at that. a small one that makes you feel as if it’s only meant for you. “do you like me too?”

this time, it’s you who doesn’t answer. choosing to close the distance and kiss changmin instead. and it’s almost cheesy how right it feels when his palm comes up to cup your cheek and how incredibly weak you get in the knees when he does. this is it, you think fisting his shirt in an attempt to pull him closer, this is where i’m supposed to be.

“so,” he begins, pulling away, “is that a yes?”

smiling, you mumble, “what do you think?”