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itsgrimeytime · 1 month

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drunk on you (part one) || Rick Grimes (TWD) × gn!reader (no apocalypse!AU)

rick grimes taglist: @golden-hoax @mgparker

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Summary: You'd known Rick forever, as far back as freshman year. He was a guy you (if you were honest) had a crush on; there was just something in his stance and the low drawl of his voice. You'd say that feeling only got worse from there. Before you could blink, he was married and had a kid; and suddenly, despite your best efforts, you felt very out of place. You faded out of his life, and he yours. So when Rick shows up at your door (drunk out of his mind) about 5 years after the last time you spoke to him, you have a lot of questions.

TWs: mentioned infidelity (Shane and Lori), strained relationships, loss of friendship, mentioned pregnancy (Judith), divorce, alcohol, mention of gunshot wounds, and shameless flirting.

[[A/N: y'all remember when he was drunk that one time? this is built off of that. also no apocalypse, just normal life. Enjoy :))]]

A long time ago, you met Rick Grimes.

He wasn't the kind of teen that was awkward, like maybe his arms were too long for his body -no. Rick Grimes was broad-shouldered and built like he was on the football team -even though you weren't exactly sure he was. Shane Walsh, his best friend, was the same -both unbelievably picturesque. You were a human then, so you'd had a thing for Rick, but then again, every single person in that school did.

And one day, he approached you with a grin, "Apparently you're really good at this?"

You tutored him, and your friendship just spiraled from there. The two of them became a trio, and despite insistent Shane's flirting (not that he meant any of it), your heart stayed consistent.

Even throughout college (or the police academy for them), they would come onto your campus for lunch -always stealing bits and pieces of yours. You could clearly remember meeting Rick's eyes over the table and your heart flipping in your chest; before he could notice though, you'd flick a piece of your lunch at him. He'd laugh then, and you'd move on.

They were there with you through life, boyfriends (who they often threatened to 'take care of'), heartbreaks, and failures.

You weren't there when he met Lori, but you were there when he introduced her to the group. She was picturesque beauty, just like him and Shane were picturesque handsome -they suited each other really well.

That day, you'd been strained and Shane could tell -he kicked up the flirting to a hundred, and you spent the whole time pushing him off and cussing him out. You didn't tell him, not verbally, but you knew he knew. And you trusted him not to tell.

Even when they got married, your lips stayed sealed. You were at the wedding actually, it had been a day you couldn't decide on. Half the day you were happy for your friend, and the other half, you felt like your heart had been stomped into the ground. You cried in the bathroom a few times, and Shane hovered close by.

He seemed to understand your pain a little too much, but you never got the courage to ask.

You were still trying, though, and had honestly become friends with Lori but you still felt your grasp on the group loosen. They were leaps ahead of you, both Shane and Rick in stable jobs -making their way up, and Rick and Lori married-

You just weren't there yet. And you didn't know how long it would take. Especially since all you could see in your head about the future was Rick. And that wasn't fair to Lori and you knew that but you couldn't stop-

And then, Lori was pregnant.

That was probably the last straw for you.

It wasn't that you stopped showing up, not really. You still came to the baby shower with cute, little baby booties and a bet on a boy. You even met Carl, and he helped. You could distract yourself with him, and every time you visited, you did just that. Lori and Rick would talk to Shane, and you would be lost in playing with Carl.

You stayed until he was three.

Rick had suddenly got the notion -you always knew he was attentive, but you'd never dreamed of this.

"I can tell somethin' is wrong with ya," he had said, hands sturdily on your arms, "-I'm 'ere if ya need me, you know that, right?"

You stopped being as vocal when you met up -trying to hide it all away, all it did was make Rick watch you more. So, you started leaving early and being busy -working yourself to the bone.

As time passed, naturally, they stopped inviting you. Your life shifted, and you moved out of town for your dream job -a fresh start. None of them knew that, and even though you could've said something, you were eager for a do-over.

Maybe this time you wouldn't fall in love with a married man, you thought to yourself.

And even though it was a joke, it hurt. You weren't sure that it ever wouldn't.

That brings you to now, at your apartment in a different city -eating some food you randomly pulled out of your pantry. It was late, and realistically, you should've been sleeping but the show that was on actually caught your attention. You'd let it slide and probably hate yourself in the morning.

Just as another revelation made its way onto your screen (might've been someone cheating on someone else? you weren't really following), you heard a noise.

You stiffened, raising an eyebrow -what the hell?

Patiently waiting, you heard it again -more incessant.

Knocks, you realize, someone was knocking at your door.

Flashing the time on your phone, 1:06 am, you frowned. There was no way anyone you knew was at your door at this hour; it was probably just some weirdo-

The knock came back and this time it was much louder, a pounding even.

You startled for a minute, before standing and making your way to the door -slowly, and keeping a foot propped against it, just in case. You lived in the city, this could really be anybody.

Instead, when you opened the door, you were met with a familiar face -your neighbor a few doors down. She was an older lady, sweet, but she certainly did not look sweet then.

"Do you know him?"

You hadn't even noticed at first, but her fist was clutching hard against the white t-shirt of someone -you shifted slightly to try and see them better.

And when you did...

"Rick?" You asked with disbelief layered in your tone -this could not be real.

"So, you do," she exhaled, letting him go.

He promptly turned to you, and you could just immediately tell he was wasted. He had that flush on his face, and the gleam in his eye you'd seen before at college parties.

Rick's blue eyes fell on you and he grinned real bright, mumbling out, "Y/N! 'S good to see you. I was lookin' for ya-"

"He's been knocking on every door on this floor for 30 minutes," she all but seethed, "-apparently, I'm the only one who answered."

With a breath, your mind spinning -you grabbed Rick's shoulder and pulled him inside.

"Thank you, Beatrice, really," you smiled, apologeticly, "-I'm so sorry he woke you up."

She waved you off, disappearing down the hall.

At that, you locked the door behind you and spun on your heel -determined to make sure this was real. That Rick Grimes was in your living room.

Sure enough, he stood by your couch -a little wobbly. He actually nearly fell but caught himself on the back of the couch.

"Alright, cowboy," you sighed, rushing over to move him to sit, "-Let's get you settled, yeah?"

Rick was putty in your hands as you pulled him onto the couch -body moving only when you forced it to. He smiled at you, big and beautiful, when you stepped back -and you hate to say it made your heart flutter. It was all coming back now, you needed to focus-

"Where 'ave you been?" He asked, and it was slurred, "-Haven't seen you in forever, ya know?"

"Rick, hey," you sat across from him on the coffee table, "-Why are you here? How do you even know where I live?"

"Shane told me," he hiccups, whole body jolting, "-told me ta come find ya. And I-"

He paused for a second, like he couldn't remember.

"I came to see you," he answered, before flashing another smile. He was always a happy drunk.

"Right," you said -not buying it. Had Shane just ditched him in the city? If so, why were they here?

And why did he ditch him in the first place?

You huffed out a breath and pulled out your phone -darting through your contacts. Your finger hovered over it for a second (just a moment of doubt), and pressed it.

It rang for a few minutes, before just going to voicemail.

Frowning, you scrolled back up, skimming again for a different name: Lori. You hoped she would answer, and she should. Her husband has gone missing, assumedly? Yeah, she should be concerned.

And again, it rang for a few minutes and then went to voicemail. ('Hey, this is Lori. Sorry I'm busy right now, but I'll get back to you.')

You huffed out a breath, what the hell?

You knew it was late, but her husband had just shown up at your door -blackout drunk. Did she even know he was out? Was Shane even the one who brought him here?

Rick leaned forward and you placed a hand to keep him upright instinctively. You pursed your lips, debating on how exactly to handle this.

"Rick?" He perked up at your voice, "-Where are Lori and Carl? Are they close?"

He frowned for a moment, before throwing himself back against the couch -you made sure he stayed sat up, "Carl goes wit' Lori on the weekends."

"Goes?" You questioned, you knew you hadn't been present for five years, but it seemed like his whole life had changed -you didn't dare assume, "Rick, are you and Lori not married anymore?"

"No," he scoffed, almost in defense, "-broke up a long time ago. You didn't kno' 'at?"

You swallowed, some sort of mix of shock and disbelief brewed up your throat: so her drunk ex-husband showed up at your door.

There was something in your chest, a little flame in your heart. You were ridiculous, happy about a divorce between some of your previously close friends? God, you were reaching new lows.

Well, wasn't like you could do anything else, so you stood up -grabbing a cup from your kitchen and filling it with water. Rick, thankfully, stayed in his spot on the couch -eyes following you as you walked back over to him.

"You're pretty," he slurred, "-always thought 'at, never said it."

Your heart jumped in your throat, focus, Y/N. He's drunk.

You shook your head, and found your place on the coffee table again, holding out the cup. When his hand extended, he wobbled a bit more and you let out a long sigh.

"Okay, fine," you muttered, scooting closer, "-open up."

He was still surprisingly obedient, sipping the water as you held it to his lips. His eyes, though, stayed focused on you -blue eyes barely blinking. It made you want to fidget in your seat, but you decidedly ignored it. Focus, focus.

With half the glass gone, you were satisfied. Pulling the cup back and sitting it beside you, his eyes did not waver -you were starting to get a little flustered now. Standing to go get a blanket and container (for any... accidents), you were stalled in place.

His fingers wrapped around your wrist -calloused and long, your brain short circuited a bit.

"Rick, why-"

"Even prettier now," he laughed out, grinning, "-thought ya was pretty th'n, but you're even prettier now! How did ya do 'at?"

Swallowing the skip of your heart, you pulled your hand out of his grasp and continued your walk. Shaking out your hands and exhaling a big breath, you stepped out of the closet with the goods and back toward the couch.

"Look," you started, shaking the container in your hand, "-this is where you throw up, okay? Not on my floor."

"Aye, aye," he grinned.

You rolled your eyes, but something you had missed him -even just as a friend. You'd lost him as a friend too, and that probably hurt more than anything. He was your rock and then, he was gone.

Blinking back the fog of your eyes, you set him up in the recliner -pulling his feet up and throwing the blanket over him. It was your extra one, a soft throw blanket, and wasn't long enough to cover his feet. Which, now that you noticed still had his shoes on them.

You let out another long sigh, before beginning to untie the laces.

"Shane told me 'at ya loved me," he said suddenly as if it was a realization and you stilled where you sat. Your breath stuttering in your chest, you focused on the laces for a moment.

"Why did he tell you that?"

Rick sighed, tilting his chin up to look at the ceiling, "Asked 'im 'bout ya, why ya left. If he knew anythin'."

You flinched, something in your chest sinking. He would've been sober then, that wasn't something you just brought up drunk. But, why were they even talking about you? Did they still do that? After all these years?

Feeling guilty, you stayed silent.

Rick didn't say anything else, oddly quiet, and when you looked up, you saw him fast asleep. Eyes fallen shut and head tilted all the way to the left, he looked like quite the picture. You laughed, a tiny one just to yourself.

Maybe, if he woke up and left tomorrow without saying a word -this visual could hold you over for a while. It reminded you of when you guys were the closest, before you started... drifting away.

You swallowed, tears burning the backs of your eyes -not letting them fall. You'd cried over this too many times.

Taking a deep breath in and one last look at Rick, you disappeared to your room. The comfort and familiarity of it made you feel a lot better, but if you focused you could hear the gentle hum of Rick's breathing. A reminder that he was there, that this wasn't all some bizarre dream.

Changing into pajamas, your eyes flickered over some old photos up on your walls -your friends, all smiling and happy. You, Rick, and Shane -sometimes even Lori. It was filled with other things like your diploma and degree, family photos, little souvenirs, and just pictures you'd taken of places you'd been.

Rick looked the same as then, just a little more built. A little sturdier, and more confident in himself; kind of like he knew his place or had found it.

He didn't need you.

You shook the thought from your head and headed to bed -flicking out the lamp on your nightstand and forcing everything within you to sleep.

Waking up the next morning, you realized you forgot to get the Tylenol out for Rick. So with reluctance (it was your day off), you pulled yourself out and dug through your drawers to find it. It was quiet, so you assumed, he was still asleep. You would be if you could've.

Instead, however, when you roamed to your bedroom door -you were stalled still. Rick was up, silently looking at your wall with intense focus. Those pictures were of you, some with new work friends, with your family, with just pretty sights you'd seen; it was all you. He was staring a bit like he was in an art museum and your photos were the most fascinating piece he'd ever seen.

Your heart sped up in your chest.

Clearing your throat, he spun to you and you for a second forgot how to speak because those eyes were very clearly aware -skipping all over you like he couldn't believe you were real. You were a little embarrassed you were in your pajamas, suddenly.

Blinking and clearing your head, you spoke -a little awkwardly, "I got you some medicine to help with the... the headache."

Rick pushed his lips together, almost like he wasn't sure what to do -hands grabbing at each other, and rocking a little on his feet. It was like he wanted to say something or do something, but he just couldn't find the words or maybe the will.

He laughed, a little nervously, "Thanks, I... I'm not sure what to say."

You swallowed, before deciding to say, "You don't have to say anything, I get it. You were stranded, you were drunk out of your mind. I'm glad to help. Really."

"Stranded?" He questioned, and you wordlessly handed him the medicine -hands brushing against his. You ignored it.

"Well, yeah," you said, now a little uncertain, "-I can't imagine your visit was planned. I... You said Shane told you to come here, so I assumed he ditched you somewhere. Because he would, if given the chance."

Rick laughed a little at the private knowledge of your friend but there was something strained there -hidden. You weren't sure if you should ask.

"Look," you exhaled, "-I'm not going to poke and prod. I know I've... missed somethings but that's nobody's fault but mine. So-"

Rick seemed to look at you a type of way then, and your mind chimed that 'he knew'.

"I'm not going to ask you anything," you finished, wringing your hands -keeping them busy, "-you don't... you don't have to tell me anything either. I... Yeah."

"Why not?" He offered, and you could tell somehow he was a little disheartened -it made guilt curl up in your stomach.

"It's been five years," you laughed, incredulously, "-I kind of stopped talking to you, Shane, and Lori without warning."

He seemed to flinch slightly at the names, and you had another worried thought -trying to read him ever-so-slightly, "I didn't reach out to ya either."

"That's not-"

"In fact, I remember we stopped invitin' ya," Rick clarified, stepping closer.

"Only because I wasn't showing up," you countered, "-or I was leaving early, or wasn't really... there."

He hummed a little, and you could tell he was processing it all.

"I just, I'm sorry," you finally said, "-I had a lot going on then, and I felt like... That doesn't matter, I'm just sorry for everything."

Something passed through his eyes then, and you thought maybe it was understanding. He knew of your... thing, and he wasn't stupid. You knew he could connect the dots, you just hoped he wouldn't say anything about them. You couldn't handle that.

"It matters," he responded, slowly, "-Ya know, I tried... I tried to see you after we stopped invitin' ya, and your place was up for rent. Door was locked, but I asked the neighbors and they said you'd been gone for months."

You didn't think that he would come looking for you, any of them really. Your paths in life had just diverted and you thought it was a clean break, but... it wasn't. Rick was worrying about you through it all.

Before you could voice anything more, he continued, "They didn't even know where ya went."

I looked for you went unsaid. Your stomach tossed with guilt, a heavy feeling in your gut. It was for the best, but he didn't quite know that.

Well, he did actually. He knew exactly why you had disappeared, so why was he talking about this? Did he want to... Did he want to hear it from you? Confirm it?

Did he not believe it?

You sighed, clearing your throat, "I just needed a fresh start. I was... I was struggling there, and needed someplace new."

"Why didn't ya talk to me?"

God, you were getting into this now. You really, really did not want to. Maybe you could just-

"I would've," he started, slow, and something in him read as guilty, "-I would've done what I could to help."

"Rick," you exhaled, "-I know that. But what was happening then... couldn't be helped. It was something I had to navigate on my own."

"But-"

"Look, Rick," you cleared your throat, "-that was a long time ago, and I feel like all we're doing is dredging up old feelings. That I really..."

You trailed off, eyes getting foggy, before centering yourself and clearing your throat, "Just know, I had a reason, a good reason to leave you guys. I maybe didn't do it right, but I did it how I had to."

Rick was looking at you like you were a shining gem, precious; like the world was a storm and he wanted to shelter you, protect you from it. You weren't sure how to process that, so you just decided not to then.

He seemed to pause for a moment, before asking, gently, "What exactly did I tell ya last night?"

"Only a little," you clarified, "-uh, Shane told you to come here, and that you and Lori... um, aren't together anymore."

"Nothing else?"

You sighed, voice catching in your throat, "I really don't want to do this, Rick."

"Do what?" He asked, brow quirked.

"I've already-" you clenched your fingernails into your palms, "Okay, I know what Shane said to you. You told me last night, okay? We don't have to talk about it."

"I want to," he spoke, stepping closer.

You groaned, "Why? Why does it matter?"

"I just want to know-"

"If it's true?" You interrupted, before letting out a long intake of breath, voice shaking -no time better than now, "-Because if that's what you want to know, I can answer it. Yes. Yes, it's true."

Rick seemed to pause for a moment, something smoothing through his eyes.

"I left because of it," you clarified, as well, answering all the questions he could ask, "-and I wasn't... I wasn't ever going to tell you."

The silence was overwhelming then, as you sucked in a breath and kept your eyes trained on the floor. Your heart beating so fast in your chest, it made your head go fuzzy -your legs felt a little weak. You must've wobbled a little, because-

"Woah," he rushed to your side, one hand holding your waist, "-c'mon, let's sit you down, sweetheart."

It was instinctual, the name, and it wasn't like it was the first time you'd heard it from him. But even so, it just confused you. Everything about Rick Grimes calmed you down, but everything about your feelings made you lose it. The balance was strung so tight, you didn't know how to react.

Now, he sat across from you on the coffee table, long legs bumping into your knees -one hand sturdily on your shoulder, trying to meet your eyes. He just wanted to see if you were okay.

"I'm fine," you breathed out -meeting his eyes, "-just. I'm fine."

Rick nodded, and hesitantly pulled his hand back -you could still feel the warmth sprouted there. It made your head swirl, and part of you wanted to scream your lungs out; you can't still feel it now, that's not fair.

"Can I tell ya something?"

"What is..." you pursued, "-something?"

"A story," he clarified, hands fidgeting, "-I told you 'bout me and Lori, I want to be more specific."

"Rick, you don't have to-"

He laid a hand on your knee, ever so slightly touching -it cut the words from your lips, "I want to."

You didn't say a word.

"Few years, after you left," he started, "-I got hurt on the job. Ended up in pursuit unprepared, and the guy got my shoulder."

His hand seemed to move to the shoulder on instinct, though the scar was hidden under the shirt. You wondered for a moment what it would look like, before washing the idea of his skin out of your brain.

"Shane still your partner? Or-" you rambled a little, "-I know you guys planned it like that."

"Yeah," he smiled, "-Shane was there, kept me awake. But I... I ended up in the hospital for about a year. Half in a coma, and the other half making sure I wouldn't go back into one-"

"Jesus Christ," you muttered out, instinctually.

"And that last day," he started, something in his voice tightening, and on instinct, your hand shot to his leg -comforting. His eyes lingered on it a bit too long, before he slowly placed his palm on top of your skin and gently flipped your hand over. Calloused fingertips wrapped around your hand, and suddenly, they were intertwined -out of his own volition.

You swallowed back the flutter of butterflies in your stomach, you're just comforting him, focus.

"Lori was pregnant," Rick sighed out, big and long -something in him hurt, but something far bigger past it. You could tell, he had processed a lot of this.

"But you were-"

Rick just looked at you then, thumb rhythmically rubbing the skin on the back of your hand.

Oh.

"Shane...?" You offered slowly, carefully.

He exhaled, shakily, and you squeezed his palm -his eyes lingering on it far too long again, "They'd been together for a while. Didn't tell me how long, but I could guess."

You frowned.

"I felt so... so betrayed, and alone-" he started, and there was something heavy in his voice then, "-all I could think about was you."

"Rick," you nearly cooed.

"If," he swallowed, looking up to stop the tears from coming out (you had the thought they weren't for the infidelity, not anymore), "-If you felt like this, and 'at's why you left. I just felt so..."

"That's not fair to yourself," you explained, "-you were going through something so different. I-"

"Was I?" He offered, "-Really? 'Cause I think it was the same sort of feelin'-"

"No, no," you responded, "-very different, Rick. You... You hadn't been kicked out of your own will, I... I was. I can't imagine what you went through."

"You kinda can," he hummed out, and you got the impression he was talking about your feelings. Sure, you'd been heartbroken for years but that was nothing compared to the betrayal he'd experienced.

"Rick, we never-" you cleared your throat before starting again, "-I never said anything. There was nothing built up like you were with Lori, the walls didn't crumble. It was just... me."

He seemed like he wanted to say something in particular to you then, but he seemed to swipe it out of his head. Like maybe he was waiting.

"They're gettin' married," he exhaled, and your heart froze, "-'s why I was 'ere. Shane's bachelor party."

"Jesus Christ, Rick, what the hell-"

"Don't worry 'bout me," he looked at you, straight in the eyes, "-I'm past it, really. Just... brings up a lot."

"I know, but still-" you hissed out, a little frustrated, "-maybe I can show up uninvited and spill wine on her dress. Ooh, or stomp on Shane's toes-"

Rick laughed then, and you felt something in your gut warm at the noise, even more, when you saw the smile slip across his lips. There was something in his eyes that was twinkling and warm, you couldn't quite name it but had seen it before.

"Shane told me a few years back," he suddenly spoke, eyes focused on you -you wanted to squirm a little in your seat.

"Told you what? About him and Lori?"

"No, that you..." he clarified, words stuttering to a stop. Something in your gut snapped, and words just started coming out.

"Look, Rick," you echoed, a little distantly, but meaning all the same, "-you don't have to pity me. I know it's been a long fucking time, since we were kids, but-"

His face seemed to slow, something in his mind, "Since we were kids?"

Shit.

"Forget that I said that," you cleared your throat, mind running a mile a minute and feeling the fluster crawl up your throat (you tried to pull away your hand but he kept it tight), "-please. This is embarrassing enough."

"It's not," he spoke, comforting, "-don't be embarrassed. I'm just... I'm shocked. I never knew 'at... as far as high school?"

You sighed, succumbing, "Before I even met you. I was a member of the school population, about 80 percent of those people were into you so-"

"Yeah, sure," he hummed, a little in disbelief, "-but you?"

You didn't know exactly what that meant or what to say to that. It almost seemed like he was saying that you were leagues above him which was... unbelievable to say the least.

"I didn't know you were an option," he mumbled out, "-at all. I thought..."

"You really can't be this surprised."

"I am!" He offered in response, and you absent-mindedly noticed that he was still holding your hand. You tugged at it but he still didn't let up.

"There were other tutors, ya know," Rick mumbled out, slow and in a barely-there whisper.

"Of course," you laughed, "-it's high school."

"I didn't," he started, fidgeting with your hand, grip still solid but he was playing with your fingers, "-I didn't actually need the tutoring."

"Why would you-"

"'Thought ya were cute," he offered, and you swallowed heavily -trying again to pull your hand away. Focus. What could you even focus on anymore?

"Rick, don't-" your voice shook, and you pulled your hand back finally, "-don't do that."

"Do what?" He questioned, big blue eyes and your stomach was twisted in knots. You couldn't do this, not now.

"There's no," you echoed out, standing up and taking steps away from him, "-there was no us, and it's been five years. You don't even know me anymore."

"I want to," he stood, matching your eyes -something in him nearly pleading, "-I really want to."

You took a shaky breath in, taking some more steps back, "Rick, your mind is not clear. Your ex-wife is marrying the man she had an affair with, you are just lonely. And I will not be wanted because... because you just want to feel loved."

"I'm not," he breathed, desperately like the oxygen was being sucked out of his lungs, "-Y/N, I'm not-"

"I won't," you repeated, your eyes getting foggy and voice shaky, "-I won't, Rick. That's not fair."

"Look at me, sweetheart," he was soft and gentle, stepping forward and tilting your face up with his hands, "-I'm not."

"You-"

"I've had years to... to process me and Lori," he explained, slow and patient, "-and a few months after 'at Shane told me. I've had years to... to process you."

"I don't-" you exhaled.

"'S all new to me, but-" He dropped his hands to yours -wrapping his around them, "-I know I feel somethin'. Felt somethin' even then, I just didn't... know it."

"Rick, please," you hummed out, "-I can't do this. I really can't. It's been years-"

"I came lookin' for ya for a reason," he continued, moving his head to match your eyes, "-Shane didn't just drop me off. I got drunk for courage, and I don't think either of us knew just how much."

"You were here for me? I thought you said-"

"'Is bachelor party was a few cities over," he explained, "-Shane recognized the city name, and we got a cab."

"That is so stupid," you chastised, "-is Shane still out there? You guys could've-"

"He called Lori," he quickly interrupted, trying to soothe you, "-Think she picked 'im up."

"You think?"

"No, okay, she did," he reassured, his hands coming to rest on your arms, "-I know I wouldn't 'ave left if she didn't."

"Good," your breaths slowed, "-okay."

"Y/N," he started again, and you just couldn't.

"No, don't-" you began, but then you looked at him. Really looked at him. He was looking at you so carefully, like if he said a wrong word, you'd disappear. Or maybe like he could hardly believe you were standing in front of him.

Maybe he really-

You pursed your lips, letting out a long sigh, "Okay, look. I'll make you a deal."

Rick raised an eyebrow but still seemed so very eager. Excited even, you bit back a smile.

"When's the wedding?" You asked, gears turning in your head.

"A few months from now," he answered, and you could tell he was a little confused -the furrow of his brow and quirk of his lip. He was still so much the same.

"If you," you held his hands between the two of you, "-if you still feel the same then, we'll talk."

"'At's-" he opened his mouth.

"Your best friend and ex-wife are getting married, Rick," you reiterated, "-you do not have a clear mind, I can't believe it. But if you, by some miraculous reason, do, your feelings shouldn't change."

He pursed his lips, something shadowing over his face, sighing, "Okay."

"Don't make that face," you groaned, "-what I'm saying is completely sensible."

"It is," he agreed before his features fell into something else, "-just didn't wanna wait anymore, I guess."

"You're not going to guilt me, Grimes."

His eyes twinkled -mischievously, settling into a blinding smile and throwing your hands down in defeat, "'S worth a try."

"Plus," you added, "-we can catch up on what we missed. Might be nice."

"Ya don't 'ave to convince me anymore," he laughed, "-I'm doin' it."

You smiled at that, and his only got brighter because of it. You schooled your racing heart back into place.

"Friends?" You offered your hand for a shake -expectantly.

He smiled then, it reached his eyes and was all crinkly, "Friends."

#its griming time #rick grimes #stuff n' thangs #rick grimes x reader #rick grimes x y/n #rick grimes x you #rick grimes x y/n fanfiction #drunk on you #rick grimes oneshot #rick grimes twd

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itsgrimeytime · 1 month

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drunk on you (part two) || Rick Grimes (TWD) × gn!reader (no apocalypse!AU)

rick grimes taglist: @golden-hoax @mgparker

Part 1

AVAILABLE ON AO3

TWs: divorce mention, alcohol, making out, and shameless flirting.

[[A/N: girl get ready. WEDDING TIME!!! Also, I am about to create Rick Grimes's mother as a character in this one, so... I know Southern mothers, you'll see. Enjoy :))]]

Soon after you reunited with Rick, you got the wedding invite in the mail. All curly letters and shiny details, you wondered briefly just how fancy it would be, and the dress code-

You made a note to ask Rick before the day.

You'd been seeing a lot of him recently, he either asked you to come to his city or just showed up in yours.

You'd shown him a few different places, (you'd gone to a café, one with cheesy puns that you, ashamedly, laughed at. Rick had only smiled, and shook his head, "Adorable." You weren't sure what exactly he was talking about, but something in you had a clue), and even some of your favorites.

You weren't sure why you wanted to share so much with him, but it felt natural.

He'd even met some of your new friends ("That Rick?"), and they had promptly horrendously embarrassed you. (He is handsome, you were right, Y/N.) Rick couldn't get enough of that day, laughing and smiling with your friends -but you did catch his cheeks turning rosy when they brought up your... compliments.

It made your heart stutter in your chest.

And then, he'd brought Carl to meet you again. Rick was terrible about just showing up at your place unprompted, so you were not ready for it. But somehow you slotted right in.

"You know I held you as a baby, right?"

Carl blinked up at you like he was processing the information, and maybe trying to recognize you, "I think I remember you."

He seemed to only remember that you were constantly playing with him, and even pulled out some old toys you recognized. Ones that were apparently super sentimental to him. It made you smile.

You fell right back in place, listening to him talk about whatever he wanted to -it felt familiar. Something about your old life that wasn't as hurtful.

You'd missed the little guy.

And in the back of your head, if you noticed Rick wordlessly staring at you with quite possibly the brightest smile you'd ever seen on his face, you ignored it. Because there was still two months to go, and that meant nothing.

Or at least that's what you told yourself.

The weeks before the wedding though, you didn't see much of him. A part of you wondered if it had all washed away, and you weren't entirely sure how to interact with that.

You were probably the only one early to the wedding, but Lori had wanted you to be. Said something about catching up, and wanting to see you. Shane was apparently just the same. You weren't sure how to take it.

On one hand, they were your old friends, on the other, they had really done something shitty to Rick and you doubted they got as much flak as they should have. Rick was too nice, always was, but he definitely had his moments.

Later, you decided, later, you'd chew them out. Not on their wedding day.

Fidgeting with your clothes, you waltzed up into the chapel -all high ceilings and stained-glass windows. It was beautiful, really, with flowers strewn against the pews and a leather little check-in book where you signed in. It was everything that a wedding was supposed to be, all the little bells and whistles.

Isn't infidelity a sin? Your mind chimed, and you zapped back the thought -a betraying little smile on your face.

"Y/N!" a voice cheered, and you were met with Shane -a few years older and a buzzcut (which was an interesting choice, to say the least), "-long time no see, buddy!"

"Hey," you smiled, genuine warmth building up -he was your friend after all. He was like a brother. That was kinda why you did what you did.

With a breath, you smacked him in the face -not a real one, kind of just a play hit. It still got the message across.

"Yeah," he rubbed his jaw, "-figured 'at was comin'."

"Good," you said, before opening up your arms for a hug, which Shane gladly accepted. He still smelt the same -a little too sour for your tastes, but was much more built. Just like Rick.

You smiled, stepping back, "It's really good to see you, sorry for-"

"Don't," Shane held up his hand, "-There's no need. I get it, a lot more than ya think."

At least I held back on my impulses, you thought, before shoving it down again.

God, you were really going to have to keep yourself in check today.

"I'll show ya to where Lori is," he offered, "-think she's still getting ready."

"Probably will be for a while, Shane," you laughed, "-The wedding hasn't even started."

"Good point," he agreed, gruffly, before guiding you to a door -you heard a lot of rustling behind it. Just thinking of the extent of people, you nearly didn't knock.

Luckily, Shane did that for you.

"'S Y/N," he called before nearly scampering away -you had to hold back a laugh.

"Oh, come in!"

Lori was the first one to, verbally, greet you, smiling wide -her hair was getting done, "Y/N, oh it's so good to see you, I'm so glad you could-"

Before she could finish, someone came rushing over to you - almost squealing in delight.

"Y/N, honey," she smiled, big and bright, "-it's been so long!"

That was the one and only Bonnie Grimes, Rick's mother. You wondered for a moment, why she would be here, before she barreled you into a hug.

"Hey, Mrs. Grimes," you smiled, accepting her hug gratefully, and she squeezed you a little too hard but you had expected it. Bonnie Grimes was on solid hugger, wouldn't let you go until she wanted to.

"Please, call me Bonnie," she grinned, before pulling back from the embrace, "-Look at you! You look so good, honey! All grown up."

"You saw me when I was in college, Mrs... Bonnie," you laughed, "-I don't think I've changed much since then."

"I still remember you in high school," she sighed -wistfully, "-ugh, the three of you were so cute! I miss those days."

Before you could say a word, she intertwined your arms and began ushering you out the door, "C'mon, let's go, sweetie! We have lots to talk about."

"I was just-" she pulled you neatly out of the door, so you shot Lori an apologetic smile -she laughed and waved you off.

Bonnie had never had the... best relationship with Lori, you heard it through the grapevine a lot. So, you had no idea why she was here at all, other than to maybe see Carl? But, still, she was definitely petty enough to wait and see him later, so what-

"When Ricky told me you were comin', I just had to see you," she said -like she was reading your mind, before whispering low, "-otherwise I wouldn't even be 'ere."

You nearly laughed at 'Ricky', but sealed it back behind your lips, responding simply, "I'm really honored, Bonnie. I would've come out to see you but-"

"Oh, sweetie," she laughed, pulling you down to sit outside on a bench infront of the church, "-I know why you couldn't. A mother's instincts."

"Yeah," you laughed, a little awkwardly -his mom knowing was not something you had quite imagined.

"You know, I always wanted you two together," she remarked, almost as if she didn't expect you to comment, "-liked you better than her for him."

"Bonnie," you urged.

"What? They're divorced now, I can say it."

"Maybe not at her wedding," you quipped back.

"Okay, you're right," she sighed out, "-suppose I just can't get over what they did to my baby."

You frowned, taking a hand and rubbing soothing circles into her shoulder, "I can imagine, it must've really hurt to see your son like that."

"Hurt? Oh I was furious, sweetie," she clarified, "-Ricky had to hold me back by my horns."

You let out a laugh, and Bonnie smiled back. The air was crisp, and the sun was warm -it was a good day. And, it was nice to get to come back -see some of where you grew up. It was familiar, homey and you felt in place, you weren't sure that would ever go away.

"You know, he talked about you," Bonnie hummed, looking out into the streets, "-even when you left, it was like... he wanted to keep you in his memories."

You exhaled, guilt swirling up in your stomach, "Yeah, I'm starting to think I made a mistake leaving. I feel like I missed so much."

Bonnie smiled -a little bittersweet, gathering you up into a side hug, "No one is smart in the matters of the heart, honey. You were hurtin', you did what you could to feel better. There's nothin' wrong with that."

You smiled, leaning into her -your head resting on hers, "Thanks, Bonnie."

"Now, that that's settled," she said slowly, happiness dipped into her words, "-Can we talk about it?"

"About what?"

"My son," she clarified, playfully smiling, "-he talks all about you, you know. And he's been really excited for today, I was hopin' you could tell me why. It's downright suspicious for a man to be so happy at his ex-wife's wedding-"

"Maybe, she's marrying a terrible man," you joked, and Bonnie laughed.

"Shane always was trouble," she seemed to think back, before reiterating, "-I know you two have been spendin' a lot of time together, and I didn't want to be hopin'."

"Okay," you held up your hands in mock surrender, "-you got me. When we met up those few months ago, he told me he had feelings for me-"

"No, really?!" she gasped, "-Oh, I thought he was never going to do that. Praise you, Jesus-"

"It was right after Shane's bachelor party, and I was... skeptical," Bonnie listened very closely, "-so I told him that if he still feels the same by the wedding, we can talk."

"That's very reasonable, sweetie," Bonnie smiled, before speaking much more directly, "-I hate to say it, though, all 'at time was certainly wasted. My boy has loved you since he met you-"

"Bonnie."

"-he just didn't know it," she finished, slapping her hands into her lap, "-You don't know how many times I tried to get it through his head, honey. It was like talkin' to a brick wall, I tell you."

You laughed again, "Well, I appreciate you sticking up for me."

"Oh, I do it a thousand times over for you, sweetheart," she hugged you into her side again, "-you make my baby boy very happy and I'll be forever grateful for that."

You smiled -something warm in your chest.

"And," she whispered, "-if you need a moment with Rick, you just tell me and I can draw a whole crowd."

You laughed even harder then, as she guided you back inside -you ended up helping with some if the last minute decorations.

At the current moment, you were pulling the flower petals into the basket for the flower girl. Apparently, they had to be fresh. It was kind of sad to pull them off the flower though.

"Hey," a voice breathed out like they were startlingly happy.

You peeked up, and saw the one and only Rick Grimes -dressed to the nines in a suit that really suited him. Handsome, really handsome. You fidgetted with your clothes self-consciously.

"Hi," you parroted back with a smile, "-like the suit."

"Oh," he grinned, a bit like he had so much energy but just couldn't put it anywhere, "-thank you, wasn't sure I'd like it."

It was the one picked out by Lori, with the color scheme -the light blue tie matched his eyes really well though, so she apparently picked well. Rick was Shane's best man, so his outfit was one specially picked -you weren't given the "luxury".

"I think you look handsome," you smiled, halting your work for a moment, "-If that helps with your opinion at all."

"Uh, yeah," he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck, "-Yeah, it does. Yours was the only opinion 'at matters."

Your heart jolted into your throat, your eyes flickered back down to your hands -pulling off more petals. The basket was about halfway full now.

"Wouldn't say that out loud, Ricky," you teased -alluding.

"Oh god," he groaned, "-my Mom's 'ere? Why?"

"The one and only," you laughed, "-and apparently she's here for me."

"Sounds like 'er," he grinned -big and bright, and it seemed like he almost wanted to say something else but-

"Rick, Shane needs you," someone, who you decidedly didn't know, popped their head in.

"Talk later?" You offered.

Rick pursed his lips for a moment, like he was really debating going anywhere else. (Like he wanted to stay with you.) But he let out a big, long sigh, "Yeah, I'll hold ya to it."

"Please, do," you laughed, watching him go out of the room -like a puppy dog. You frowned, you really need to get yourself in check.

The ceremony was beautiful, Bonnie sat beside you and plastered on the most real fake smile you'd ever seen -elbowing you and whispering low little jokes every once in a while. You had to bite back laughter half the service. On your other side was Carl fidgeting with his vest -apparently he was supposed to be up there with Shane, but he refused. You got a little kick out of that.

To cheer him up, you taught him the head squish trick -squeezing your two fingertips together from a distance. Carl was much more engaged after that, particularly squishing his Dad's head with a big smile.

And Rick, well, he stayed focused but every once in awhile, you'd catch him looking at you. The dart of an eye, so quick you could miss it if you hadn't been looking at him too; Bonnie would point it out to you, if you weren't paying attention.

The reception was nearby, in a building that was primarily rented for this exact purpose. It looked how you thought a reception should look with a big dance floor, so many decorated tables, and a buffet of food off to the side. Which all looked and smelled delicious, you noted.

Each seat had a name, you realized. So, you were kind of awkwardly navigating through tables to try and find your spot -you didn't want to get food and then wander around like a chicken with your head cut off. So, you dodged through chairs -peeking at the little cards, and just as you found it, you felt a tap on your shoulder.

You spun around and met Bonnie's eyes, she was looking a little nervous.

"Everything okay?"

"Yes," she hummed, "-I just realized that I forgot some medicine in my purse, would you be a doll and go grab it for me?"

"Sure," you soothed, "-where is it?"

"The closet where they put the coats," Bonnie answered, "-I wanted it out of the way, but-"

"Bonnie," you smiled, ushering her to her marked chair, "-please, sit down, I'll grab it for you."

She smiled, big and wide, a polite thank you leaving her lips. There was something there, but at the time, it didn't seem important.

With a breath, you wondered back toward the front of the building -trying to remember which closet exactly was the one with the coats. You hadn't had one, so you didn't stop but-

The door to the closest one slipped open, and hands pulled you inside. You nearly screamed, but when your eyes adjusted to the dim light, they settled on Rick -standing just across from you.

"Rick," you hissed, "-what the hell? You scared the-"

"Sorry, sweetheart, was the only way to getcha alone," he spoke, a little quickly -breathlessly happy to see you.

"Oh, is that why-" you puffed out a breath, "-Bonnie was in on this, wasn't she?"

Rick grinned, shrugging a little -as if to say, maybe. You bit the inside of your cheek to stop a smile from smoothing across your face.

"Why are we in here, Rick?"

"I needed to talk to ya," he echoed out, "-alone."

"And we couldn't do that anywhere else?" You laughed, "-Like outside, or-"

"It was the first idea to pop into my head, gimme a break," he responded, slow with a smile, "-I 'aven't thought clearly all day."

"What if someone tries to get in here?" You questioned, voice low, "-this is going to look pretty incriminating-"

"It locks from the inside," he said simply, moving his hand and turning the lock.

Your breath caught in your throat suddenly, realization setting in -you were locked in a clost with Rick. Correction, you were locked in a small closet with Rick by his own doing.

Jesus Christ.

"Is there-" you questioned, "-something you wanted to talk about, or?"

You knew exactly what he wanted to talk about, but you were not going to be the one to bring it up. Especially when his face was so close to yours, and the light was dim enough to make his eyes shine so blue, and you could feel his breaths on your face-

Your heart was practically beating out of your chest, you could feel it in your throat.

You expected this is much different circumstances, like an open room and good lighting and maybe the crisp night air. Not in a hall closet, where all you could smell was Rick (a woodsy sort of smell), and all you could see was Rick.

His hair was tussled a little, like he had nervously run his hands through it. And part of you wanted to reach up and comb through it, he was letting it get longer now -you liked it.

"I didn't think this through," he finally said.

"Yeah," you laughed a little, "-I can tell."

"Well, I did," he reasoned, "-'ad this whole thin' planned out, how I was gonna say it and everythin'. But now I... Looking at you, I can't remember any of it."

"You sure it's not a lack of oxygen?" You teased, trying to cut through the tension, "-This room is pretty small-"

"I'm in love with you."

Your mouth snapped shut.

He was laughing a little -in disbelief or happiness, you couldn't tell, "You told me, if my feelin's stayed the same to tell ya. But they haven't."

"They haven't?" You asked, a little weakly.

"I fell in love with you," he clarified, grin so bright, "-I watched you wit' Carl and my Mom and just you. And I... I love you. God, I love you."

"Rick," you whispered out.

"I knew," he exhaled, stepping slightly forward, "-I knew there was somethin'. That I felt somethin' and then you were everywhere, and suddenly I felt everythin'."

Your eyes were starting to tear up, but you held them back.

"I couldn't stop thinkin' about ya, and then I just wanted to see ya, all the time-" he exhaled through a laugh.

"Rick," you repeated.

"I love you," he repeated like it was all he could say, eyes desperately searching yours, "-and I know it's kinda shitty to 'ave this moment 'ere, because it's my ex-wife's weddin'-"

You laughed, and a grin found itself along his face -letting out a chuckle.

"But I couldn't wait," he echoed out, "-couldn't wait long enough to not 'ave to do it in a damn closet."

"I would have preferred that," you remarked, "-but, this... this is okay too."

"I nearly told you this mornin'," he breathed out, "-you were in front of me an' all I could think was-"

Your hands cupped his face, and pulled him forward without so much as another thought. He stilled at first, shocked, but when he realized, everything in him shifted.

He pushed you into the wall almost without thinking, instinctual. Hands on the wall behind you, he cornered you in; and your hands only squeezed tighter on his jaw. It was desperate, like he'd been dying in the desert and you were water -like if he didn't have you now, he would've died.

Your hands slipped to his shoulders, and one of his moved to cup your face -your head was getting woozy. He separated for a moment, eyes darting between yours and pressed forward again -stealing the breath out of your lungs.

"Rick," you breathed out, but he kept pushing kisses onto your lips. Like he could never have enough, "-Rick."

He groaned -apparently eager to keep kissing you, pulling back, "What, baby?"

Your throat went dry, lips smacking shut. That was new, you had never heard him call you baby before. Platonically, sweetheart, darlin', the works. But this was distinctly, romantic.

Rick scanned over you for a moment, a bit in concern -eyes fluttering along your face, "Everythin' okay?"

He was still caging you in, wide expanse of arm just above your shoulder and his face a breath away. Your brain was suddenly short-circuiting, all you could see was Rick and all you could smell was Rick and all you could taste-

"Hey, sweetheart," he moved his hands to hold your face -keeping your eyes solely on him, "-are ya okay? Did I hurt you or-"

"No," you let out in a breath, a little embarrassed, "-you just... you called me baby."

"You don't like 'at? I don't 'ave to-"

"Rick, no," you clarified, burning with embarrassment, "-I like it. I... really like it. You've just never called me baby before."

He smiled, sort of lightly -a little like he was in love with you (which he very much was), "I've never kissed you before either, ya know?"

"Yeah, obviously," you huffed out a breath, "-I'm still getting used to that part too. But I just didn't..."

You groaned, and Rick's grin only got wider.

Pushing your hands into your eyes, you exhaled -shame burning in your stomach, "This is so embarrassing."

He didn't say anything for a moment, before his fingers came to grab at your hands pulling them away from your eyes, "'S not embarrassing, baby, 's cute."

"God, you're going to use that against me forever now," you peeked up at him, "-aren't you?"

He grinned at you, hand coming up to hold your cheek, "Yeah, 'course, I am."

Rick was smiling at you then, his eyes dipping low to your lips and your breaths hollowed out in your chest.

"We really can't-" you tried to contradict, but it was weak willed.

"What's a few more minutes, baby?" Rick hummed, face so close to yours that you could see different shades of blue in his eyes.

You only had so much will.

It would be a waste to use it now anyway.

#its griming time #rick grimes #stuff n' thangs #rick grimes x reader #rick grimes x y/n #rick grimes x you #rick grimes x y/n fanfiction #drunk on you #rick grimes oneshot #rick grimes twd

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