#flame thrower enthusiast

[republicansaredomesticterrorists]

WTF is wrong with these RepubliKKKlan assholes!

[rejectingrepublicans]

South Dakota Republican governor Kristi Noem having fun when she’s not shooting farm animals in the head.

[masked-alien-lesbian]

Wake the Dead AU

I was imagining what a suburban parents AU Hana Lee and Raelyn would have done when the zombie plague first swept across the world. Hana and her youngest daughter Juniper (4 years) are separated from Raelyn and their oldest, Jasmine (10 years). Hana and the baby end up making it to the Sunflower Creek colony while Raelyn is separated from Jasmine.

Jasmine ends up in an orphanage in an underground city and befriends another orphan, named Jack (8 yrs). They band together to survive the harsh conditions they're under.

Meanwhile Raelyn has to fight for survival. They earn the Raiders respect and becomes Flamer, after passing the trial but their only goal is to find their family.

It's a wild ride, Raelyn rescuing Jasmine and Jack and searching for Hana and Juniper. Before long, the family is reunited after the Raiders come to Sunflower Creek to pillage their crops. Though they're reunited, they still have to survive the end of the world. But with love like Hana and Raelyn has, no distance and no amount of zombies will keep them and their family apart.

[crystalgood]

Where Are Blaze Grills Made? is a question that many people have when they are looking to purchase a new grill. Blaze Grills are a popular brand of outdoor grills that are known for their quality and durability. They are made with high-grade stainless steel and feature a variety of features that make them a great choice for outdoor cooking. In this article, we will discuss where Blaze Grills are made and what makes them such a great choice for outdoor cooking. [caption id="attachment_5419" align="aligncenter" width="635"] Where Are Blaze Grills Made[/caption] The History of Blaze Grills: Where Are They Made? Blaze Grills have been around since 2009, and they have quickly become one of the most popular outdoor grilling brands in the United States. Blaze Grills are known for their high-quality construction, innovative features, and affordable prices. But where are Blaze Grills made? Blaze Grills are proudly made in the USA! All of their grills are designed and manufactured in the United States, with the majority of their production taking place in their state-of-the-art facility in California. Blaze Grills are made with the highest quality materials and components. Their grills are constructed from heavy-duty stainless steel, which is designed to withstand the elements and provide years of reliable performance. They also use high-grade ceramic briquettes, which provide even heat distribution and help to reduce flare-ups. Blaze Grills are designed to make outdoor grilling easy and enjoyable. Their grills feature a variety of innovative features, such as their patented “Flame Thrower” ignition system, which makes lighting the grill a breeze. They also offer a wide range of accessories, such as rotisseries, griddle plates, and smoker boxes, which allow you to customize your grilling experience. Blaze Grills are designed to provide you with years of reliable performance. Their grills are backed by a lifetime warranty, so you can be sure that your investment is protected. With their commitment to quality and innovation, Blaze Grills are sure to be a part of your outdoor grilling experience for years to come! The Benefits of Owning a Blaze Grill: Why Are They Made in the USA? Are you looking for a high-quality grill that will last for years? If so, you should consider investing in a Blaze Grill. Not only are Blaze Grills made in the USA, but they also offer a variety of benefits that make them a great choice for any grilling enthusiast. First and foremost, Blaze Grills are made with the highest quality materials. They are constructed with heavy-duty stainless steel and feature a double-walled construction that helps to retain heat and ensure even cooking. This means that your food will be cooked to perfection every time. In addition to their superior construction, Blaze Grills are also designed to be easy to use. They feature a simple push-button ignition system that makes it easy to get your grill up and running quickly. The grills also come with a variety of features, such as adjustable temperature settings, a removable grease tray, and a warming rack. Another great benefit of owning a Blaze Grill is that they are designed to be energy efficient. The grills feature a unique design that helps to reduce the amount of energy used while cooking. This means that you can save money on your energy bills while still enjoying delicious grilled food. Finally, Blaze Grills are made in the USA, which means that you can trust that you are getting a quality product. The grills are designed to meet the highest standards of safety and performance, so you can be sure that your grill will last for years to come. When it comes to grilling, Blaze Grills offer a variety of benefits that make them a great choice. From their superior construction and energy efficiency to their ease of use and American-made quality, Blaze Grills are sure to provide you with delicious grilled food for years to come. The Quality of Blaze Grills: What Makes Them So Durable?

[caption id="attachment_5419" align="alignnone" width="300"] Where Are Blaze Grills Made[/caption] Blaze Grills are renowned for their superior quality and durability. With a commitment to craftsmanship and innovation, Blaze Grills are designed to last for years and provide a superior grilling experience. So, what makes Blaze Grills so durable? First, Blaze Grills are constructed with heavy-duty stainless steel. This material is highly resistant to corrosion and rust, making it ideal for outdoor use. Additionally, the stainless steel is designed to withstand extreme temperatures, so you can be sure your Blaze Grill will stand up to the heat of the summer. Second, Blaze Grills feature double-lined hoods. This helps to retain heat and ensure even cooking. The double-lined hood also helps to protect the interior of the grill from the elements, making it more durable and longer-lasting. Third, Blaze Grills are designed with a unique grease management system. This system helps to reduce flare-ups and keep your grill clean. The grease management system also helps to protect the interior of the grill from grease and other debris, making it more durable and easier to clean. Finally, Blaze Grills are backed by a lifetime warranty. This warranty ensures that your Blaze Grill will be free from defects in materials and workmanship for as long as you own it. With their superior construction and lifetime warranty, it's no wonder why Blaze Grills are so durable. So, if you're looking for a grill that will last for years, look no further than Blaze Grills! The Different Types of Blaze Grills: What Are the Options? Are you looking for the perfect grill to make your outdoor cooking experience even more enjoyable? Look no further than a Blaze Grill! Blaze Grills are designed to provide you with the ultimate grilling experience, offering a variety of features and options to suit your needs. Blaze Grills come in a variety of styles, from traditional charcoal grills to high-end gas grills. Whether you’re looking for a basic charcoal grill or a top-of-the-line gas grill, Blaze has something for you. The most popular type of Blaze Grill is the charcoal grill. These grills are perfect for those who want to enjoy the smoky flavor of charcoal-grilled food. Blaze charcoal grills come in a variety of sizes and styles, from small portable grills to large, stationary grills. If you’re looking for a more advanced grilling experience, Blaze also offers gas grills. These grills are perfect for those who want to enjoy the convenience of gas grilling without sacrificing flavor. Blaze gas grills come in a variety of sizes and styles, from small portable grills to large, stationary grills. For those who want the ultimate grilling experience, Blaze also offers infrared grills. These grills use infrared technology to cook food quickly and evenly, while still preserving the flavor of the food. Blaze infrared grills come in a variety of sizes and styles, from small portable grills to large, stationary grills. No matter what type of grill you’re looking for, Blaze has something for you. With a variety of styles and features, Blaze Grills are sure to make your outdoor cooking experience even more enjoyable. So, what are you waiting for? Get grilling with Blaze today! The Best Features of Blaze Grills: What Makes Them Stand Out? Blaze Grills are the perfect choice for anyone looking to upgrade their outdoor cooking experience. With their superior construction, innovative features, and unbeatable performance, Blaze Grills are sure to make your outdoor cooking experience one to remember. Here are some of the best features that make Blaze Grills stand out from the competition: 1. Durable Construction: Blaze Grills are built to last, with heavy-duty stainless steel construction and double-lined hoods that provide superior heat retention. This ensures that your grill will stand up to the elements and provide years of reliable performance.

2. Innovative Features: Blaze Grills come with a variety of innovative features that make outdoor cooking easier and more enjoyable. From their patented infrared burners to their integrated lighting systems, Blaze Grills make outdoor cooking a breeze. 3. Unbeatable Performance: Blaze Grills are designed to provide superior heat distribution and even cooking, so you can be sure that your food will be cooked to perfection every time. Plus, their powerful burners and precise temperature control make it easy to achieve the perfect sear or slow-cook your favorite dishes. 4. Versatile Design: Blaze Grills are designed to fit any outdoor space, with a variety of sizes and configurations available. Whether you’re looking for a small portable grill or a large built-in model, Blaze Grills have you covered. With their superior construction, innovative features, and unbeatable performance, Blaze Grills are the perfect choice for anyone looking to upgrade their outdoor cooking experience. So, if you’re looking for a grill that will stand the test of time and provide delicious meals for years to come, look no further than Blaze Grills! The Care and Maintenance of Blaze Grills: How to Keep Them in Top Condition Grilling season is here, and that means it’s time to fire up your Blaze Grill! With proper care and maintenance, your Blaze Grill will provide you with years of delicious meals and outdoor fun. Here are some tips to keep your Blaze Grill in top condition: 1. Clean your grill regularly. After each use, brush off the grates with a wire brush to remove any food particles. Then, use a damp cloth to wipe down the exterior of the grill. 2. Check the burners. Make sure the burners are free of debris and that the flame is burning evenly. If the flame is uneven, adjust the air shutter to correct the problem. 3. Check the grease trap. Grease can build up in the grease trap, so it’s important to check it regularly and empty it when necessary. 4. Replace the flavorizer bars. Over time, the flavorizer bars can become worn and need to be replaced. 5. Cover your grill. When not in use, cover your grill with a waterproof cover to protect it from the elements. By following these simple steps, you can keep your Blaze Grill in top condition and enjoy delicious meals for years to come! So fire up the grill and get grilling! The Latest Innovations in Blaze Grills: What’s New? Are you looking for the latest innovations in Blaze Grills? Look no further! Blaze Grills has been leading the way in outdoor cooking for years, and they’re continuing to innovate with their newest products. Here’s a look at some of the latest and greatest from Blaze Grills. The first innovation is the Blaze LTE Grill. This grill is perfect for those who want to take their grilling to the next level. It features a large cooking area, a powerful infrared burner, and a built-in temperature gauge. Plus, it’s made from stainless steel, so it’s built to last. Next up is the Blaze Professional Grill. This grill is perfect for those who want to take their grilling to the professional level. It features a large cooking area, a powerful infrared burner, and a built-in temperature gauge. Plus, it’s made from stainless steel, so it’s built to last. Finally, there’s the Blaze Portable Grill. This grill is perfect for those who want to take their grilling on the go. It features a large cooking area, a powerful infrared burner, and a built-in temperature gauge. Plus, it’s made from stainless steel, so it’s built to last. These are just a few of the latest innovations from Blaze Grills. With their commitment to quality and innovation, you can be sure that Blaze Grills will continue to be the leader in outdoor cooking for years to come. So, if you’re looking for the latest and greatest in grilling technology, look no further than Blaze Grills! The Future of Blaze Grills: Where Are They Headed? The future of Blaze Grills is looking brighter than ever! With

their innovative designs and cutting-edge technology, Blaze Grills are quickly becoming the go-to choice for outdoor cooking. Blaze Grills are designed to make outdoor cooking easier and more enjoyable. Their grills are made from high-quality materials and feature a variety of features that make them stand out from the competition. From their patented infrared burners to their innovative temperature control systems, Blaze Grills are designed to make outdoor cooking a breeze. In the future, Blaze Grills will continue to innovate and improve their products. They are constantly looking for ways to make their grills more efficient and user-friendly. They are also looking to expand their product line to include more options for outdoor cooking. Blaze Grills are also looking to expand their reach. They are currently available in many countries around the world, but they are looking to expand even further. They are also looking to partner with more retailers to make their grills more accessible to customers. The future of Blaze Grills is looking bright. With their innovative designs and cutting-edge technology, Blaze Grills are quickly becoming the go-to choice for outdoor cooking. With their commitment to innovation and customer satisfaction, Blaze Grills are sure to be a leader in the outdoor cooking industry for years to come. Conclusion In conclusion, Blaze Grills are made in the USA, with some components sourced from other countries. The company is committed to providing high-quality grills that are designed to last and provide a great grilling experience. Blaze Grills are a great choice for anyone looking for a reliable and durable grill.

[pluto01doesart]

Superpowers based off of the zodiac signs in the storyline.

Akari- A knife thrower and a sword crafter

Sign: Aquarius

During battles she tends to be the attacker from behind always got her teammates back

You can count on her to even be your shield, despite how cold she may seem.. she holds compassion for anyone.

Lydia- tessenjutsu warrior (fan throwing during battle), she also has the power to restore balance and repair caused damage

Sign: Libra

In addition she almost instantly comes up with creative plans, and strategies that has been done by no one.

She can also become invisible, disappearing along with the air.

Kyo: A boomerang thrower, trap magic

Sign: Leo

He has real potential to be a good fighter, and also ahead of everyone when it comes to his pride 😶.. but despite all that he's always the most enthusiastic one out of all the team members..

Reiko- a sword user, magical detector through a bracelet.

Sign: Aires

During battle she's hotheaded and reckless.. she usually moves and attacks even without a strategy.. always rushing ahead, and is such an moth to the flame, but her heart is in the right place.

Rai- has the power of enchantment Transmutation magic, He's also a mechanic

Sign: Capricorn

Despite him being a rookie still. In both planning and pulling an operation altogether.. he's good at keeping things confidential.

He tends to fool around only around close friends and family, but he's always reliable during combat.

Also he has the ability to fix all things metal obviously and can transmute crystals types of power that are written in an invisible enchanted form.

Yuma- has the power to control gravity..breaking rocks to bits, due to him being the next leader like figure and mostly likely to be his sister's successor.

His anger is the key to using his power with force and mighty powerful emotions

Sign: Pisces

Try not to anger him because once he is angry the ground shakes and he sometimes doesn't know how to control it with full force entirely yet.

He always sticks up to the ones he cares about and especially when he slowly is growing up, starts having a crush 😅.

Masahiro- has the power of multiplication and shapeshifting, because he's only so young he cannot get control it. And besides he joins the team all because of the rest and says I wanna be of help too

Sign: Gemini

Despite him only being 5 he of course can be always left behind the rest, and whines a lot.. he's a bit spoiled but only because he's younger.

But when it really counts he does show emotions of compassion to others when his friends and family's lives are at stake.

Although he's a slacker at times... For being so young you don't expect much of him yet.

_______________________________

Here are some inspiration for the storyline.

* fairy tail

* sailor moon

* dragon ball z

* keroro guenso

* Httyd

[crewofthegoldrush]

about a year ago i drew a concept for what if the pc x npc pairs swapped classes, which quickly formed an AU that I have not stopped thinking about, where the roles are swapped - with the NPCs now as the heroes and the PCS are now NPCs. so let’s break that down under the cut! 

Demetrius d’Lyrandar - Wild Magic Sorcerer, ship wayfinder. 

As a member of House Lyrandar, he has the ability to pilot the airship with no issue, but refuses. The current pilot is doing a fine job without him, seemingly on her own pure charisma, although he will step in in an emergency - like that time a hole was blown into the ship...

His Wild Magic doesn’t necessarily come from chaos, instead from trauma that has caused a disconnection between himself and his magic. He refuses to discuss this, even with those who know of his past, and would rather drink instead. Ironically, his magic works fine when he’s less than sober

Has a preference for weather spells, such as Lightning Lure, Gust [from his Dragonmark], Ray of Frost, and Fog Cloud. His metamagic is Careful and Subtle

Aubrey Galatea - Alchemist Artificer, crew / mercenary

Still a spy from another continent but genuinely believes she is working for/towards the greater good when she is sent on this mission; here her aloofness comes less from being apathetic and cruel, and more because she is so sworn to secrecy she just chooses to keep people at arm’s length, making her quite a wet blanket

If asked how she feels about that moody dragon flirting with her, she claims she’s “putting up with it” but there could be more to it than that

As an alchemist, she specializes in poisons and infusing/enhancing weaponry; some of her go to spells include Mage Hand, Poison Spray, and Caustic Brew. Her chosen infusions are her Homunculus Servant (Incognito), a replicated Alchemy Jug, and Returning Weapon. She almost never uses her Aberrant mark unless she feels she can get away with it.

[I was going to add a bonus Harper but bro i tired]

Brunhilde Kheldeburn - Artillerist Artificer, ship gunner / security

You know those players who feel like fire is the answer to most things? That’s this gal. Buff and can throw a cannon (and occasional flame thrower) over her shoulder like it’s nothing, she’s a force to deal with in a fight. One might be surprised to learn someone so kind and cheerful could be so bombastic and chaotic!

Doesn’t put up with anyone’s shit and is usually the first to pull the previously mentioned wet blankets along with her, not to mention that tough little kobold.

Actually doesn’t find herself using too much magic, preferring to get to it and use her axe or cannon instead, however her favorite spells are Firebolt, Light, and Catapult

Angelica d’Sivis - Beast Master Ranger, crew / archivist

Similar to her canon self, Angelica is driven by a want for fame, which lead her to apply for this 50 day voyage. However, as a hero here she is much more genuine and earnest in this pursuit as I imagine here she came from more humble beginnings. She is still Aberrant, which she uses to hide the fact that she is not a real member of House Sivis; the stigma against Aberrants is part of her motivation to make a real name for herself.

To be honest, I’m not sure the history between herself and her owl, Schuyler, other than just a reference to her canon wizard self, although the owl seems to have a bit of a rivalry with the captains familiar. idk they can’t all be well thought out these aren’t my characters bro

Besides her mark granting her Illusion magic, her ranger spells are typically Hunter’s Mark, Detect Magic, and Fog Cloud

Benjamin Octavious - Valor Bard / [Celestial Warlock], second ship doctor

Largely unchanged from his canon self; he is an employee for House Jorasco and is a lovely man working his way through college. His valor bard self has an even more enthusiastic belief that the best way to help is to get out there, which is partly what lead him to this voyage.

Keeps his role actually the same as well, because the fact that that little kenku is still his boss even in an AU is too hilarious to pass up. 

Before leaving Sharn, he bought what he was told was a lucky charm - a strange, bone carving called the Panther Claw.

Natsuko Hayashi - Scout Rogue, cartographer 

Similar canon history, where she fled her previous life of luxury after receiving a number of threatening letters, only to end up in a lighting rail accident. She survives thanks to the druid tribes in the area, but instead of training to be a druid, she decides to be someone who can fight back after realizing she was only in that crash because she was running away. I think her personality would be the most changed, with her more level-headed, rational mind replaced with someone who is a bit more brash and bold with a habit of accidentally getting herself into trouble, which is probably what happens when you insist on being the one to scout ahead

She furthers her family’s work in cartography, using her skills in leading expeditions to advance their work, earning her a good enough name to join this voyage. 

Is way too proud to admit that the ship’s librarian with the peacock necklace is cute.

Delphinium ir’Celosia “Num” - Eldritch Knight Fighter, crew / ship security

Much of Del Num’s canon backstory isn’t fully known to me, but here I’ve imagined she leans more into her tetra warrior training and works on becoming a better fighter. She abandons her role as a noble, and largely keeps her name...not a secret, but certainly unsaid

Num uses the voyage purely as a way to further her main goal - to learn more about what happened to Cyre, and what better way than to travel all over the country on a ship that was heading towards the Mournlands?

It’d be a lot easier to keep her name hidden if her ex wasn’t also on board….

caNT wait to do the PCs next i put Monty THROUGH IT

[spark-09butghostfilesbitch]

Truth or Dare

“I don’t want to,” Mai said as she straightened a bouquet.

“But everyone’s gonna be there, Mai!” Ty Lee implored. “It’s gonna be fun.”

“I don’t like fun.”

“What’s going on?”

The two girls turned and their eyes fell upon Tom Tom.

Ty Lee replied,"Aang, Katara, Toph and Sokka are visiting. They want Mai to come too since they won't be staying very long."

Tom Tom looked at his sister, doing his 'polar bear puppy eyes' thing.

"Please, can we go, Mai? I want to see Aang's air marble trick again!"

Mai frowned at her brother. "I'm willing to drop you off but I'm not coming."

"It would be so much better if you came, though," Ty Lee interjected. "We'd love to have you there."

Mai sighed out of frustration. It wasn't that she didn't like going to the palace. No, she just didn't want to meet Zuko.

Ever since their 'make up', Mai was unclear on what to do. She was sure she liked him liked him in the I-don't-hate-you kind of way, but she was still hesitant to be in a relationship again. When she had told Zuko this, he had cupped her cheek and told her he'd wait as long as she'd wanted.

And Mai had been thinking about his words. She just wasn't ready to face him yet.

"Mai?"

Ty Lee's voice shook her out of her thoughts. The knife thrower looked at the chi blocker.

"You don't have to come if you don't want to," She said.

"No, no, I'll come," Mai said. She smiled at her oldest friend. "It'll be nice to reconnect with some old friends."

*

When Mai and Tom Tom arrived at the Royal Palace the next day, they found Ty Lee waiting for them. Tom Tom waved at her.

"You didn't have to wait," Mai said. Ty Lee looked up from where she had been doing a handstand, her legs arched and almost touching her head.

"I wanted to," She replied. She bent out of her handstand to survey her friends.

"You look tired, Mai. Is everything okay?"

"I'm fine. Tom just woke me up early." Mai frowned at the seven year old, and he shot her a sheepish grin. Mai sighed and shook her head.

"Let's go," She said. Together, the trio walked inside.

*

Mai opened the door to the sitting room. Inside, she found Team Avatar and Kiyi. Suki sat on the carpet covered floor. Kiyi sat on an armchair which looked too big for her. Aang and Katara sat together on a fainting couch. Sokka sat on a settee. Toph was lying down on the settee and had her feet propped up on Sokka's lap. The Water Tribesman didn't seem to mind.

Zuko sat at the foot of Kiyi's armchair. When he saw Mai, he smiled at her. Mai returned her more subdued smile. Tom Tom managed to squeeze in the armchair with Kiyi. Mai and Ty Lee took seats on the floor.

"Okay, is everyone here?" Sokka asked. They all nodded.

"What will we be playing?" Tom Tom asked Sokka. Sokka grinned.

"Truth or Dare, kiddo," He said. There was a mischievous glint in his eyes that Mai didn't like.

*

"Okay, who'll go first?" Sokka asked enthusiastically.

"Ooh, me!" Said Ty Lee.

"Okay, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Well," Sokka placed a hand on his chin. "Who's one person you can't live without?" He asked.

"I'd say...the Kyoshi Warriors, you guys and my family," Ty Lee finished. Sokka nodded. He turned to Toph.

"Toph, truth or dare?"

"Eh, truth," She said carelessly.

"Have you ever lost an Earth Rumble tournament?" Said Sokka.

"No. Other than the one with Twinkletoes I haven't lost to anybody else."

"Katara, truth or dare?"

"Dare," The waterbender answered.

"Okay," Toph said."I dare you to drink that bottle of extra spicy peanut sauce." Toph looked at her smugly. Katara spluttered.

"What - drink that?! Are you out of your mind?" Katara shrieked.

"Yeah, Sweetness, drink that bottle of extra spicy peanut sauce. You can have water after."

Katara looked like she was about to protest, but she defiantly walked across the room and grabbed the bottle of sauce. She stared at it for a few moments before opening it and taking a long sip.

As soon as the bottle was away from her lips, she gasped. Her face was flushed. Lips pressed together, she walked over to the table where the water was, grabbed a cup and took another long swig.

After draining the glass, Katara walked back to Aang and glared at Toph. The others laughed.

"One point to Katara," Suki said.

*

The game went on for another two hours. Suki was dared to kiss Sokka while holding a handstand, Aang was dared to walk around the palace and explain the rules of Pai Sho to random people. Mai was dared to throw a knife on an apple placed on Zuko's head while blindfolded. Thankfully, the tasks turned out well.

Finally, it was Zuko's turn. He'd been withdrawn for the most part and he agreed to a dare.

"Zuko," Sokka said. "I dare you to announce who the prettiest girl in the room is and kiss them."

There was silence at Sokka's words. Zuko's eyes widened and his cheeks flamed. The others put a hand to their mouths to hide their smiles. Zuko glared at Sokka.

"Couldn't you have given me anything else?" He exclaimed.

"You asked for a dare," Sokka said. "Here it is."

Sokka smiled at him innocently. Zuko bit his lip. Mai could almost see a plan to escape forming in his mind.

Finally, he announced in a strangely strangled voice, "Suki."

Everyone laughed. Toph had a cocky look on her face. "I can tell when people are lying, Hothead. And we all know it isn't Suki."

Zuko went even redder. Mai was sure that something in the room might be set on fire. But why was he so flustered? He just had to announce the prettiest person in the room and kiss them. It wasn't an uncommon thing to ask during Truth or Dare.

She felt like she was missing something, a vital piece of the puzzle. She felt like she should know who he was about to kiss. But she didn't.

His eyes kept flickering to her, his face turning redder. He ran a hand through his hair and kept glancing in her direction and.....oh.

Oh.

Mai understood. The others' smirks made sense. Zuko's fluster made sense.

She bit her lip and stared at her lap. She could feel everyone's gaze on her.

"Are you going to do it or not, Jerkbender?" Sokka asked teasingly. Zuko glared again.

"Fine," He said.

He cautiously approached her. Mai looked up a him. Zuko looked nervous, uncertain.

He stared at her furtively for a few seconds, before dipping his head down and kissed her. They broke apart within seconds and even though it was barely a brush of the lips, it left Mai's heart racing.

Zuko moved away from her. The others booed good naturedly. Mai could hear Tom Tom make retching noises.

"Oh, come on, that wasn't even a proper kiss!" Sokka protested. There were murmurs of agreement among the others.

Zuko shot him an icy glare but that didn't have an effect on them.

"You asked for us to kiss. We kissed. End of story." He said.

"It was barely a kiss and it still made your heart do somersaults," Toph said. "You've got it bad."

"Toph!" Zuko said angrily.

"What? I'm just stating facts."

Mai sighed. She knew their friends weren't going to leave them alone after this.

"We'll do it," She announced.

She walked over to him and knelt down. He looked at her, nervous and uncertain.

"Do you want to do this?" He whispered.

"Let's just get this over with."

His lips were soft. He kissed her gently, his hand cupped her cheek, while the other linked their fingers. Mai rested her hand on his forearm.

Mai had missed feeling like that. The feeling of his hand in hers. The feeling of his lips against hers. She felt warm, both inside and out. They broke apart and Mai glanced at Zuko.

His face was flushed. He stared right back at her, trying to control his breathing.

She heard someone wolf whistle and there was an outbreak of awkward giggling. Mai and Zuko disentangled themselves from each other and resolved to siting in their usual positions near Ty Lee and Suki.

*

Their friends slowly began to trickle out after that. Finally, when only Mai and Zuko were remaining, Zuko plopped down next to her. They sat in silence. It wasn't awkward but it wasn't comfortable either.

"I'm sorry," Zuko said.

Mai looked at him. "For what?" She asked, confused.

"For - well, I don't know what I'm apologizing for but I feel like I may have crossed a line," Zuko said.

"You didn't cross any lines. There isn't anything to apologize for," Mai said.

"There isn't? I didn't make you uncomfortable or anything?" Zuko asked.

Mai sighed. She knew they were going to have this conversation sooner or later. Might as well be sooner.

"I know I said I needed time," She began. "I think about your offer a lot, Zuko. To be honest, I didn't want to come today because it would mean meeting you but I'm glad I came. I felt like this gave me a push I needed."

Zuko smiled at her. "So, you're okay with us being a thing again?" He asked.

Mai returned his smile. "We'll practice opening up about our feelings and problems. If the Spirits are on our side, we could probably make it work."

Zuko took her hand. "We don't need the Spirits on our side. I already have you."

Mai blushed. "You're so cheesy."

But she was smiling too, and Zuko felt his heart soar.

He leaned his forehead against hers. Mai placed a hand on either side of his face. He knew what was coming and his eyes slid shut.

He smiled against her lips and could feel that she was smiling too.

They kissed slowly and then they broke apart. Mai's cheeks were dusted with a pink blush. His smile grew wider as Mai rested their foreheads together once more. He knew they ought to head back to their friends, but right now.....he was happy right where he was.

Story is also cross posted on Fanfiction.net and AO3.

[taeyamayang]

hq boys in a zombie apocalypse

a/n: purely based on how i perceive them

karasuno

☠ DAICHI: the pillar. he carries the whole team on his shoulderㅡthis man is Atlas. convinced that he's the only sane person on his team. the alpha.

strengths: great leadership

weaknesses: the freshmen and sophomore

weapon: nail-bat

☠ SUGAWARA: a great follower and leader of the youngsters but he can be a mess at times too so daichi keeps an eye on him. when he killed his first zombie he took a selfie with it and posted it on his social media #sugasenpai #firstkill .

strengths: keeps the team's spirit high though he's bleeding out

weaknesses: easily distracted

weapon: axe

☠ AZUMANE: the medic of the team. he does the headcount before and after missions. would rather be the logistics, loading supplies to their van, than kill zombies.

strengths: alertness (tho it's bc he's scared)

weaknesses: zombies

weapon: first aid kit and nishinoya

☠ NISHINOYA: too enthusiastic about killing zombies. you have to go through him before anyone touches azumane. one of karasuno's back defense.

strengths: agility and athelicism

weaknesses: gari gari kun soda ice pop

weapon: flame thrower

☠ TANAKA: dependable though easily riled up. gets swayed by the freshmen's praiseㅡit's mostly hinata, this is the reason behind his sudden killing sprees. completes karasuno's back defense

strengths: precision and will-power

weaknesses: female zombies

weapon: shotgun

☠ ENNOSHITA: the only person daichi trusts. second in command. don't tell sugawara. keeps the communication open between the lower and upperclassmen.

strengths: highly skilled and calm

weaknesses: doesn't believe in his capabilities

weapon: bow and arrow

☠ YAMAGUCHI: head of the logistics, has adopted asahi in his tasks. keeps track of the supplies. works well with tsukishima. he is still forced to fight though.

strengths: organized and clever

weaknesses: apologizes to every zombie he's killed

weapon: spear

☠ TSUKISHIMA: the brain of the team. responsible for strategic planning. would careless about killing zombies but if it charges at yamaguchi he wouldn't hesistate at cutting its jugular off.

strengths: critical thinking

weaknesses: yamaguchi tadashi

weapon: dagger

☠ KAGEYAMA: a great follower to the upperclassmen. listens well and is willing to learn. challenges hinata to literally anything. karasuno's front offense.

strengths: riling hinata up making them both efficient attackers (win-win)

weaknesses: asks too many questions

weapon: crossbow

☠ HINATA: takes every bait kageyama puts out ending the both of them killing more zombies than they initially intended to as a form of competition. at times daichi has to pull them off from slaughtering. human energy. karasuno's front offense.

strengths: endurance and determination

weaknesses: kageyama's provoking words

weapon: katana

thanks for reading!

also, happy birthday to *oikawa's voice* iwa-chan!~

Masterlist

[guard-dogbiscuits]

Ship's Log, the Adrestia

The Ides of March: Got my ass kicked, by a giant wild boar and her annoying little piggies. Ran away and did side-quests, to level up until I could come back and return the favor. Then got my ass handed to me by a huge, annoyingly fast deer. Gave up on her, for the time being.

March 16: Turned my focus to getting Kassandra and her mom off the island of Naxos. To do that, I had to destroy a blockade of three Athenian war-ships. My funky old ship got burned and sunk so many times I gave up and took a bunch more side-quests, to find enough materials and earn enough drachmae to upgrade her.

March 18: Took me a couple of days to acquire enough wood for the ship's hull, stronger arrows and javelins, but it made a big difference. We still got sunk a couple of times, but I'm starting to get the hang of naval combat. Almost. XDDD

March 19: Of course once I broke the blockade, Kassandra's mom insisted on destroying the rest of the fleet. Three more Athenian ships, in company with an even deadlier Cult ship. :( At least this time we only got sunk once...

March 20: I had my first Conquest Battle as an invader, which means I had to face another mercenary. This one was a big brute, with a heavy blunt weapon in each hand. He kept bashing Kassandra's head in, until I reset my skills to hit my enemies with a hail of fire arrows. That did the trick.

March 21: Kassandra's mom left for Sparta, but before joining her Kass had to do one more thing. I'd deliberately avoided it during my previous reboot, because it's the most annoying quest ever.

Kassandra travels to meet her father, in Atlantis of all places. To get there she has to go into the heart of a volcano, which is basically the floor is hot lava game, with her falling in and getting burned up multiple times. I finally got her across the second pit by ignoring that she was on fire till I could get her to a ledge to drop-and-roll.

As if that isn't enough, Kassandra's modern-day descendant, Layla Hassan, is scuba-diving to the same spot. She has to swim through an underwater maze, and I keep getting lost. It's stressful because the game has a lot of deep-diving missions, and Kass has drowned a few times because I couldn't get her back to the surface fast enough. Of course Layla has scuba gear, so in her case that isn't an issue. The issue is that she's so enthusiastic I want to slap her.

And speaking of annoying...Kassandra's father turns out to be Pythagoras of all people. Maybe it's my memories of high-school geometry, but after meeting the creator of that damned theorem I prefer the foster-father who threw Kass and her baby brother off the mountain. Maybe it's projecting, but I suspect Kass feels the same way.

March 21: Against all odds Kassandra makes it back to her mom, and together they return to their home in Sparta...only to be attacked by troops as they walk into into the city. They defeat the attackers (and pay off the bounty on their heads), but as they're continuing on their way, Kass spots a bounty hunter who's been trailing her ever since the islands, in the hope of scoring a hit. So she doubles back and nails his ass.

March 22: What has all this taught me, compared to my previous play-throughs? If I run from the small boss bottles, I'll never make it through the big ones.

Also...the Adrestia needs a flame-thrower. XDDD

[snowinabottlearchived]

a   day   later   (   because   yesterday   i   was   with   my   parents   and   we   did   nothing   but   eat  ,   drink   and   celebrate   )  ,   i   am   finally   putting   up   a   post   i   wanted   to   write   ever   since  .   2020   is   coming   to   an   end   and   for   the   first   time   in   weeks   i   have   the   chance   to   properly   sit   down   and   thank   everyone   who   accompanied   me   through   this   year   and   made   it   bearable  .   i   could   probably   write   an   entire   essay   about   how   grateful   i   am   for   every   single   of   my   mutuals   who   stuck   around   despite   my   activity   was   spotty  ,   who   sent   me   nice   messages   and   asks   when   times   were   tough   and   to   all   the   amazing   people   who   fought   so   hard   themselves   and   got   through  .   this   time   i   want   to   make   it   a   little   more   personal  ,   because   through   hardship   and   bad   experiences   i   learned   what   FRIENDSHIP   really   means   and   that   even   though   disappointments   happen  ,   there   will   always   be   those   worth   keeping   on   for  .   i   hope   EVERYONE   WHO   READS   THIS   knows   that   i   am   happy   to   have   you   here  ,   to   see   you   on   my   dash   and   that   this   platform   still   is   my   main   safe   space   to   be   creative   and   escape   reality   from   time   to   time  .   you   matter  .   every   single   one   of   you  .   but   now  ,   to   some   more   personal   lines  .

@rgerscap​   /   @serpernt​   /   @hunterheroes​ bea  .   you   are   and   have   been   my   best   friend   ever   since   i   can   remember   writing   over   here  .   i   do   not   even   know   how   long   we   have   been   plotting   and   talking  ,   but   from   this   point   on   i   can   not   even   imagine   a   life   without   you  .   meeting   up   in   february   was   one   of   the   best   things   that   happened   this   year  ,   because   you   are   such   a   beautiful  ,   kind   and   funny   person   inside   and   out  .   i   am   beyond   grateful   to   have   you   at   my   side  ,   to   be   able   to   reach   out   to   you   when   i   feel   alone  ,   when   i   feel   troubled  ,   but   also   when   we   are   just   two   stupid   knobheads  .   thank   you   so   much   for   everything   you   did   for   me  .   thank   you   for   existing  ,   for   being   my   friend  ,   for   being   you  .   i   love   you   so   much  . @bluemoontm​   /   @demonify​   /  @impaladrove​ i   dont   even   know   where   to   start  .   we   two   have   been   through   quite   some   stuff   this   year  ,   but   you   were   always   there  .   you   always   helped   me  ,   you   listened   and   our   constant   motivation   we   tried   to   give   each   other   was   what   brought   me   through   2020  .   no   matter   what   or   where   we   start   to   write  ,   i   enjoy   our   plots   and   endless   ideas   so   much  ,   that   i   would   not   even   be   here   anymore   if   it   wasnt   for   you  .   even   when   everything   seemed   to   fall   apart   you   remained   at   my   side  ,   encouraged   me  ,   never   doubted   me   and   for   that   i   will   be   forever   thankful  .   you   became   one   of   my   closest  ,   best   friends   which   i   can  ,   at   this   point  ,   say   without   any   doubts  .   i   mean  .   listen  .   bringing   me   to   make   two   more   blogs   ? ?   you   did   the   impossible  .   i   just   hope   covid   is   over   soon   and   we   can   do   our   coffee   shop   tour  ,   hang   out   and   have   wine   and   italian   food  .   you   mean   the   world   to   me  .   thank   you   for   everything   slate  . @adstellar​  antonia  ,   meine   liebste   popocreme  .   its   been   a   year   since   we   met   at   my   place   and   surely   three   since   we   started   talking  .   we   do   not   only   work   in   the   same   job  ,   but   also   helped   each   other   through   so   many   things   that   i   stopped   counting  .   talking   to  you   on   discord   or   the   phoney   phone  ,   writing   our   babies   on   tumblr   or   just   planning   another   holiday   together  .   you   mean   so   much   to   me    and   i   am   beyond   grateful   to   have   you   in  my   life  .   you   are   an   amazing   person  ,   so   please   never   ever   change  . @villeneuvetm​   /   @margirfolk​ scotchy   ! !   of   course   you   belong   on   this   list   of   special   people  ,   simply   because   you   are  .   i   know   that   sometimes   you   feel   left   out   or   overlooked  ,   but   you   are   a   wonderful  ,   talented   writer   and   such   a   joy   to   talk   to   ooc   as   well  .   weve   been   talking   for   quite   some   time   now   and   been   mutuals   since   forever  ,   which   i   am   very   grateful   for  .   your   constant   interest   in   amelia  ,   your   will   to   plot   with   me   and   throw   your   amazing   muses   my   way   just   makes   me   so   happy   so   please   know   that   i   will   always   and   forever   write   all   the   things   with   you  .   thank   you   for   being   my   friend   ! ! @absolveres​ cyn   my   favorite   co   pilot   and   fellow   flame   thrower   enthusiast  .   youve   been   dealing   with   my   slow   potato   ass   for   ages   now   and   i   have   no   words   to   say   how   thankful   i   am   you   did   not   just   yeeted   me   out   of   the   plane   right   into   the   next   best   river  .   you   are   such   a   generous  ,   talented   and   caring   person   that   i   will   always   and   forever   wait   for   you   and   replies   -   ic   and   ooc  .   talking   to   you   about   personal   stuff  ,   about   our   beloved   disaster   game   or   plotting   endless   things   for   our   two   lost   causes   is   everything   and   something   i   will   love   forever  .   i   hope   you   are   reading   this   despite   your   little   break  ,   because   you   are   missed   deeply  .   i   am   sending   you   all   the   love  . @lastfulcrum​ you   thought  .   i   just   went   through   my   blog   and   -   believe   it   or   not   -   our   first   threads   are   three   damn   years   old  .   lucy  ,   when   you   reached   out   a   few   days   ago  ,   i   was   so   shocked   that   i   had   no   words   to   express   how   happy   i   am   that   you   are   back   from   your   hiatus  .  i   always   loved   writing   with   you  ,   talking   ooc  ,   plotting   and   do   like   34234324   aus  ,   simply   because   you   are   such   a   good   writer   and   great   person  .   i   hope   you   are   aware   that  you   glued   yourself   to   me   and   my   blog   with   invisible   glitter   glue   and   are   trapped   forever  .   again  .   i   am   so  ,   so   glad   you   are   back  . @takemetochrch​ oh  ,   of   course   you   wont   be   left   out   here  .   i   think   i   dont   have   to   say   how   much   i   adore   you   and   jack   ? ?   i   am   so   grateful   we   started   writing   and   so   happy   to   have   you   in   my   tumblr   life  .   our   dynamics   -   no   matter   if   its   jack   and   amelia  ,   or   jack   and   castiel   -   warm   my   heart   and   lighten   up   my   dash   so   much  ,   that   i   am   excited   about   every   reply   and   every   edit   that   comes   my   way  .   thank   you   for   writing   all   of   this   with   me  ,   for   being   so   loving   and   invested  .   it   means   the   world   to   me  .   you   are   amazing   ! ! and   then   there   are   some   amazing  ,   outstanding   people   on   my   dash   i   wanted   to   mention   as   well  .   simply   because   they   have   been   good   friends  ,   mutuals  ,   inspiring   souls   i   enjoy   seeing   every   time   their   names   pop   up  .   i   love   you   all   to   bits  .   thank   you   for   following   me  ,   writing   with   me  ,   being   so   wonderful  .   i   am   sending   you   all   the   cookies  ,   snowflakes   and   positive   thoughts   for   holidays   and   the   next   year   to   come  .   please   stay   safe  . @soulstcne​  ,   @fcxedbecty​  ,  @conniidel​  ,  @itshellscrown​  ,  @myersbprd​  ,  @seidmadr​  ,  @wxrldkiller​  ,  @alongingwithin​​  ,  @outlawiism​​  ,  @venuscommissions​​  ,  @sicarea​​  ,  @batisms​​  ,  @failedhero​​  ,  @waywardfeathered​​  ,  @willchosen​​  ,  @horrorempathy​​  ,  @crimsonshe​​  ,  @atomiism​​  ,  @icameasiam​​  ,  @sunsymbols​​  ,  @experimcnts​​  ,  @optmstc​​  ,  @timidstrcngth​​  ,  @pepperpxtts​​  ,  @lunelios​​  ,  @thunderbringer​​  ,  @risaen​​  ,  @unsnare​​  ,  @viividpurity​​ and   everyone   else   who   sees   this  .   merry   christmas  ,   happy   holidays  .   thank   you   for   existing  .

[butternuggets-blog]

OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER

@baldwin-montclair @adowobsessed @sylverdeclermont @lady-lazarus-declermont @nicki-mac-me @thereadersmuse @kynthiamoon @adowbaldwin @profoundme444

Part Eight

Summary: Baldwin de Clermont manages to upset an ancient hag. He wakes up.. different.

'Mummy, may I please feed Apollo some fish?' asked Philip.

Diana and Matthew shared a glance. They had known this day was coming, but they didn't have to like it.

'Apollo?' Gerbert and Domenico echoed.

Baldwin sighed and hid his bowl of porridge beneath the table as Diana plastered a cheery smile on her face and nodded.

'Of course darling'

The griffin burst from Philip’s side onto the table, scattering plates and flipping Domenico’s scrambled eggs into his lap. Philip dissolved into a gale of laughter, while Gerbert watched the familiar with a mixture of awe and poorly-disguised greed.

‘AH-AH! Down!’ Diana frowned, sternly pointing her finger towards the floor. Phillip smiled and patted the side of his chair.

‘ ’Pollo, sit!’ the familiar perked up at the sound of its name and leapt across to squat beside its master. Phillip dropped some of his sardines into Apollo’s gaping mouth; the griffon chewed delicately on them, then swallowed.

‘And do you have a familiar?’ Gerbert asked, voice dripping with syrupy sweetness as he turned towards Rebecca. She stared at him over her cereal.

‘A pterodactyl’

Domenico let out a loud snort of derision.

‘Yeah, right’

He glanced Baldwin, then Diana and Matthew, as the silence stretched.

‘..right?’

The snowfall in Sept Tours had been unusually heavy that year. Both the castle and the surrounding village were covered in white, long thin icicles hanging from the edges of roofs and cars being swallowed up by snowdrifts.

The twins had been barred from going outside until Marthe borrowed Apollo and Corra, using them like intelligent flame-throwers to melt the iced-over pathways through the gardens. Now Becca was running around trying to find her bobble hat and gloves; Phillip was hopping awkwardly as he tried to pull on his boots and wrap his scarf around his neck at the same time.

Baldwin would never admit it, but for the last few weeks he had been using Diana as a human weather barometer. If she looked outside in the morning and decided to wear a coat, Baldwin would quietly copy her. 

He didn’t have to today. Marthe had been on a shopping spree, and dropped off a thick black coat, beanie, gloves and scarf. She’d bought similiar items for Gerbert and Domenico as well, although instead of a beanie, Gerbert was sporting a russian-style fur hat with earflaps.

The twins went hurtling out the front door, screaming with delight and launching themselves face-first into the nearest snowdrift. Domenico slipped on the slick pavestones almost immediately, reflexively grabbing the back of Baldwin’s jacket as he fell, dragging Baldwin down with him.

Gerbert chuckled as the two men, cursing loudly, untangled themselves.

‘Be careful; you wouldn’t want to break something would you?’ he smiled. Baldwin ignored him and headed off after the twins, while Domenico paused, a slow grin spreading across his face.

‘Don’t you da-’

‘Oops!’ Domenico spun Gerbert’s wheelchair around and pushed. It sailed forwards a good metre or so before careening wildly off the path and into a mound of snow.

Gerbert let out an indignant scream of fury but it was muffled by a mouthful of ice. Coughing and spluttering, he managed to half-crawl forward on his elbows until he could turn onto his back, facing up towards the sky. Now he just had to get up the energy to flip the wheelchair off him.

‘Oh, that’s disgusting!’ he grimaced as the snow that had slipped down the back of his jacket began to melt. He spread his arms out and tried to wriggle so that the moisture warmed up and evaporated faster.

The ghost of his childhood suddenly giggled in his ear. If he scraped his arms up and down, then-

No. That was idiotic.

...still...

Gerbert craned his head forward. There was no one else around.

If anyone spotted the impressions in the snow he could pass it off as him flailing, trying to push himself up.

He checked again. No one was watching.

Gerbert chuckled quietly to himself, and made a snow angel.

***

In spite of himself, Domenico was actually having a lot of fun.

He had reluctantly, then enthusiastically, helped Phillip make a snowman (Becca and Baldwin’s snowman was three times smaller, but much smoother and compact), then halfway through setting up a tobogganing jump and a small igloo Domenico managed to sneak up behind Baldwin and dump a handful of snow down his back.

The garden would be his grave.

While Baldwin frantically built a miniature Hadrian’s wall, Becca rolled snowball after snowball, reaching cautiously above the barricade to lob them at Domenico and her brother. They were bunkered down in a shallow crater, having forgone proper shielding in order to focus on making ammunition.

‘Slightly to the left Rebecca!’ Gerbert called out. He had wheeled himself to the top of the toboganning jump and was parked there, occasionally shouting advice.

‘SHUT UP OLD MAN!’ Domenico pegged a snowball towards Gerbert; the shot went wide, sailing over Gerbert’s head. He ducked down to avoid a snowball to the face from Baldwin, and whispered in Philip’s ear. The boy nodded enthusiastically, giggling.

There was a loud swooshing noise and Apollo launched into the air, bee-lining towards the other fort.

‘AERIAL ASSAULT!’ Philip and Domenico screamed. Baldwin swore and threw himself over Becca, who looked absolutely furious. Apollo made a noise like a cat being sick, and a volley of snow balls rocketed down, thudding into Baldwin’s back.

Becca, wriggling a hand out from beneath her uncle, aimed carefully. A column of fire suddenly erupted beneath Apollo, lightly singeing its feathers and sending the startled griffin pinwheeling back towards its master, shrieking loudly.

Marthe ambled into view, serenly taking in the chaos before her.

‘Lunch time!’

Gerbert wheeled himself back towards the castle, the twins and Baldwin shoving each other and arguing as they trailed along in his wake. Domenico, staying behind for a moment to pretend to re-tie his shoes, glanced furtively around to make sure no one was watching, lay down on the ground, and gave into the childish urge that had been buzzing around the back of his skull for the last hour and made a snow angel.

****

The tobogganing slope worked well. Really, really well.

Too well.

It had originally been a giant mound of snow, compacted by hand and shovel. There were pockmarks and it crumpled slightly around the edges after each use, but it held itself together.

Then Pip froze it.

Now there was a solid, nearly indestructable toboggan slope-shaped iceberg sitting in the middle of the lawn. Pip had immediately rushed to the top; the speed with which he went whizzing off the end was enough to launch the toboggan into the air and carry him an extra five metres, cackling hysterically.

Baldwin went and fetched the riding helmets.

After that there was no stopping the twins. Becca and Pip pushed themselves off the top of the slope more and more aggresively, while Domenico pushed a series of makeshift treebranch markers into the ground to see who’s toboggan flew the farthest.

Pip even extended the top of the slope so they could get a running start. In hindsight, this was absolutely the moment Baldwin should have put his foot down and been the responsible adult, but he had a two metre lead on Domenico and wasn’t about to let that crawly little git win.

Hence, the snow shoes.

Baldwin strapped the metal spikes to the bottom of his boots, careful not to cut himself. He put his toboggan on the slope in front of him, ground his heels into the ice, and tensed.

‘Ready..’ Becca raised her mittened hand in the air, ‘Set....GO!’

Baldwin sprinted forward, throwing himself onto the toboggan as just as it tipped over the edge. The extra boost of power from the jump caused the toboggan to shoot forward, gathering speed at an alarming rate until it reached the end of the slope and launched into the air.

‘OOF!’ Baldwin gasped as the breath was knocked from his lungs, the toboggan landing hard on a frosted-over patch of ground. Marker after marker whizzed past, the twins chanting and whoops of joy turning into concerned yells as Baldwin overshot the final marker and went careening up and over a hill, straight into the treeline.

Baldwin grit his teeth, cursed, and pulled on the brakes. He missed a rapidly approaching oak but the toboggan flipped, throwing him clear. He went rocketing into a hedge, skidding to a stop on the other side bruised, bleeding, and lying half-buried in a snowdrift, but alive.

‘Ow..’

He flexed his fingers and toes; nothing seemed broken. Relieved, and slightly out of it, he gingerly spread his arms and did a small snow angel to celebrate.

Author’s Notes

- Luna the pterodactyl is not canon in this story. Becca was f**king with her new uncles ^^

- I don’t think familiars in the ADOW universe can breathe elements, but I don’t care

- Marthe and Alain have zoom-lens cameras and absolutely took photos of Gerbert, Domenico and Baldwin making snow angels XD

[imaginethewillyb]

@residenteviljunkie: “Mr. X gave me quite the fright tbh. And then I felt so spoiled going from being able to hide from him in the safe rooms to having Nemesis freaking BUST DOWN THE DOOR of my safe rooms in re 3 remake. I still haven't recovered” --- My brother and I didn’t see Nemesis when we had to backtrack for the stuff in the early game, so that first safe room was a shock to me--the one where you get the wrench, I think? Or somewhere around it? We must have been lucky. Nemesis was much weaker than me and my brother anticipated. It only took one grenade in normal mode and a bit more, if I remember correctly. That took a lot of the intimidation factor out for me. Even with the rail-shooting rocket launcher and the flame-thrower sections, once I knew he could be taken out (minus boss encounters) easily, Nemesis wasn’t as much of a sweat as I anticipated.

In the original game, he was as much of a bullet sponge as William was phase-1 in the remake. You practically had to save all your bullets from the start of the game if you wanted to take him out that the police station. The fact that if you chose poorly, he could burst through the police station near the evidence room--a tight corner--with the rocket launcher always made me dread going in there. It still does, to be frank, and the game is how many years old? Hell, anytime I hear Mr. X stomping through there, I hide. I’m so glad he doesn’t doesn’t jump around for the most part. Could you imagine that passageway with lickers, you’re about to make your way upstairs--and he decides to surprise you with a drop kick? He can do that in the library, but I think that’s the only place. BRUH. That would have made my hair even greyer.

I’m still very conflicted on what they did to my babies, the gammas. They’ve certainly made them far more intimidating at the cost of their frogliness. As a frog enthusiast, it saddens me. ;/

[foreverfangirlalways]

The Astronomer and The Florist (Chapter 13)

Chapter 13 Title: Michael’s Return (and ohhh, whose this?)

Summery: Patton and Roman ask Virgil and Logan something, Patton and Virgil start working on wedding planning, and some well hated people show up!

Ships: Analogical & Royality

Warning: author is not entirely sure How brunch works, mentions of strippers, teasing, MICHAEL, threats, unwanted flirting+advances, assault, weaponized tennis racket, flame thrower, cursing

-let me know if I need to add more warnings-

(Thank you to @kawaiikat54 for letting me borrow an idea or two!

And thank you to @kuroyurishion for the idea that is stared in the last few paragraphs! )

—-

It’s been two weeks since the Disney trip and proposal. Everyone loved the trip, and had so much fun, but they had to go back to work.

Roman called up both Logan and Virgil. He invited them to brunch.

After they accepted, and headed over to Roman and Patton’s house.

Logan and Virgil immediately knew something was up the moment they smelt cinnamon rolls and fries. Patton only makes cinnamon rolls when he’s nervous. And he only makes French fries to soften a blow.

Everyone sat down at the table, and grabbed their plates. After about 10 minutes of a tense, chewing filled silence, Logan spoke up.

“So, what is this about?”

“Wha- what do you mean?” Patton stuttered nervously. “Pat, you made comfort food. It’s ok, just tell us where the body is, and we’ll frame it on Roman.”

Roman made some offended princey noises at Virgil’s words. “Umm, excuse me!”

“You’re excused.” Logan replied, hiding a smirk at Romans enraged face. Patton, sensing his fiancé’s frustration, started giggling.

Soon everyone was laughing, and Roman playfully hit Logan. “And Virgil, for your information, we are not here about Patton. It’s about y’all.”

Virgil instantly stopped laughing, and looked terrified. Logan reaches over and squeezed Virgil’s hand. Patton whacked Roman.

“Common my love, you know you can’t just say things like that!”

Roman looked sheepishly at Virgil. “Sorry V, Let me rephrase, Patton and I have a question to ask y’all two.”

Patton nodded enthusiastically, and bounced over to the cabinet in the corner, and grabbed two envelopes out of the top drawer. He handed the red one to Roman, and sat back down, still holding the light blue one.

The fiancé’s smiled at eachother, then Roman handed Logan the red envelope and Patton handed Virgil the blue one.

Logan opened his and scowled at the amount of glitter that fell out of the envelope. Virgil opened his, took out the card, and started choking.

Logan looked worriedly at his shocked boyfriend. He then took his card completely out of the envelope and gasped.

It was a card that had a black bow tie on it, and said “TIME TO SUIT UP! Your service as bestman is requested.”

Logan looked up questionably, and Roman nodded. Logan smiled, looked over at Virgil’s card, and made an indescribable noise.

Virgil was staring down at a card that said “GET ME A STRIPPER”. Logan was stunned, and Virgil finally got the courage to open the card. The card unfolded, and instead of “GET ME A STRIPPER” it now said “GET out there and plan ME A bachelor party! STRIve for refined and uPPER class, fun but tame. (Will You Be My Bestman?)”

Virgil was silent for a minute before busting out laughing. He threw his arms around Patton and said, “Of course you weirdo! I would love to be your bestman, I’m honored!”

Patton smiled so very gleefully, and then Virgil continued talking. “As for the other thing, I’m sure Remy knows a place.”

Patton buried his head in his hands, and Roman wrapped Pat up in his arms. “Don’t worry dearheart, Virgil will do no such thing!”

“No, I am, the card asked me too.” Virgil said, knowing full and well that he was going to get Patton one of those singing striper bass’s and paint a blue ‘p’ on it.

Patton laughed, knowing his best friend wouldn’t do anything too drastic. Probably. Most likely. Hopefully.

Roman looked at Logan for support, and just saw a smirk. “I don’t do bow ties, but I would be honored to be your bestman.” Roman hugged Logan, and Patton hugged Virgil. Then they all merged together into one big group hug, mainly because Patton dragged Virgil over yelling “group hug!”

After everyone sat back down, Patton started talking. “We would also like y’all to help with the wedding planning!”

Upon the silence that followed, Roman started speaking. “You obviously don’t have to if you don’t want to, but we just thought that it would be fun and exciting to have y’all be the co-wedding planners.”

Logan nodded. “I think that is a reasonable conclusion. Plus, it would be smart to include us, as we can make sure that you don’t burn your entire lifesavings or be too... what’s the word?” Logan said, looking at Virgil.

“Extra.” Virgil said smiling. “And Yeah, I would love to help with the wedding. Lo is great at expenses and Ro is great at shopping, so power couples right there.” Everyone laughed, and then Roman grew serious. “Speaking of shopping, I was thinking about... going dress shopping.” Roman looked up at his friends faces. “For a wedding dress. For me.”

“Cool, are you gonna wear heels or flats?” Virgil asked. “Uhh, wedges?” Roman said and Virgil nodded. “Good idea, both.”

Logan was studying Roman, and kind of freaking him out. “I always saw you in a full skirt, but I think a ball gown type would fit you over all aesthetic better.” Romans’ mouth dropped open. Then he started crying.

Patton immediately pulled Roman into his arms, and Logan looked very alarmed. “I’m sorry, you don’t have to do the aesthetic look, it was jus-“ Roman started laughing.

“It’s not about that nerd, I’m just so glad that y’all are so accepting.” Logan and Virgil looked at eachother then at Roman. “Of course we accepted you.” Logan said. “Yeah, besides, I always knew that you would wear something dramatic, might as well take Logan with you to make sure it’s not dramatically overpriced.” Virgil joked, and they all laughed.

-_-_-_-

A few days later, Patton and Virgil were making plans for the wedding bouquet. They were discussing how the Romans favorite flowers are red roses and red carnations, but Patton still wanted to tie a bit of the secondary blue theme into the bouquet.

*DING DING DING*

The bell over the door chimed, alerting them to a new customer. They both looked up from the planning book, and Virgil swore. Patton, recognizing the guy from the video Virgil showed him, narrowed his eyes.

“What the actual FUCK are you doing here?” Virgil growled.

“Oh come now,” Michael said, smirking. “Is that any way to treat a potential costumer?”

“You,” Patton seethed, “are not a costumer. Get out now.” Michael looked Patton up and down, then rolled his eyes. “Or what? You have no grounds to kick me or my boyfriend out.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow at that last statement, and then another guy walked in. He was wearing an orange and black hoodie and an orange beanie. He smirked at Virgil then gave Patton a once over.

“The fuck?” Virgil said, not believing that the asshole was able to get someone to date him. The guy glanced at Virgil but seemed to be focusing mostly on Patton. He even leaned close to Pat over the counter.

Michael was watching Virgil observe the orange clad person. He smirked, very obviously delighted.

“Oh, what’s that look for hot stuff? Are you jealous?” Virgil looked at Michael like he was the biggest dumbass in the world.

“Of what? Your so called boyfriend is checking out my best friend! Are you honestly telling me that you are fine with that?” Virgil asked, in both shock and disgust.

“Ethan and I have an... understanding.”

As if to prove a point, Ethan leaned closer to Patton and smiled. “Hi shortie.”

Patton, who was contemplating attacking Michael, looked shocked that Ethan was so close. Pat tilted his head. “Do I know you?”

Ethan looked proud. “Nah cutie, I think I would definitely remember someone who looks like you.”

Virgil and Patton looked at eachother, then at the guys who were flirting with them. ‘Where oh where is my protective, freakishly good looking boyfriend when I need him?’ They both thought.

Michael walked closer to Virgil, and tried to reach for him before Virgil smacked his hand away. Virgil immediately regretted doing that when Michael’s face lit up.

“Oh come on baby, it’s not like Logan’s around to stop us, so why not have some fun? You can’t actually tell me that you honestly like that robot, can you?”

As Michael hoped, Virgil got pissed.

“Yes, I can honestly tell you with 100% sincerity that I like Logan. More than like, he is expressive and playful and serious and calm. He is literally almost prefect in my eyes, so you can go FUCK OFF!” Virgil shouted, and shoved Michael back.

Well, at least he attempted to. It turns out that Virgil’s outburst is what Michael was hoping for. As soon as Virgil had but his hands on Michael’s chest to shove, Michael grabbed his wrists and pinned him again a shelf.

Patton is livid and tries to go and help Virgil, but it turns out that when he was silently cheering Virgil on, Ethan made it around the counter.

So when Patton moved to help Virgil, he ended up getting shoved and pinned against said counter. Patton looked at Ethan with fury in his eyes, and Ethan just looked amused.

“So...” Ethan starts, rubbing his hands up and down Patton’s arms. “Are you single?”

Patton looks at the engagement ring that was on his left hand. Ethan was holding his wrists, so Patton wiggles his fingers to bring attention to the ring. Ethan looked at it and shrugged. “So?”

Patton was dumbfounded. “Are you serious? No, I’m obliviously engaged! Plus, aren’t y’all two,” Patton nods toward where Michael and Virgil are watching them, “a thing?”

Ethan shrugs again. “Ehh,” he said, leaning into Patton’s personal bubble.

“We have an understanding. He can play with his boy toy,” Ethan gestures to Virgil. “And I,” Ethan states while placing his hand on Patton’s cheek, despite Patton’s efforts to bite him. “And I can play with mine.”

Michael forces Virgil’s gaze to lock onto his, and rubs circles onto Virgil cheek with his thumb. “While we let them get better aquatinted, how about we finish what we started at my Party?” Michael runs his hands down Virgil and leans in closer. He Virgil tried to move away in vain. Virgil could see the twisted joy in Michael’s expression and could feel Michael’s breath on his lips, when-

*BOOM DING DING DING POP*

Michael and Ethan both whipped their heads around, allowing the Virgil and Patton to see there heroes.

Logan looks like he just finished eating some of the glass window he broke, and Roman looked like he was about to light Ethan up with the flamethrower he was holding.

Wait-

“Roman, why the HELL are caring around a FLAMETHROWER?!” Patton yelled.

“To protect my fiancé with. Also, it matches the rage and fire in my eyes and soul.” Roman says while making it very obvious that he was pointing the gun at Ethan.

Logan looked at the ground and silently picked up the baseball bat that had been left by the door earlier in the week. He didn’t say a word, but if looks could kill, Michael would less then dissolved ash.

Logan gripped the bat, and stepped closer. “May I ask just what in the ever living FUCK you doing to my boyfriend?”

Michael looked a little afraid, but tried to keep of the facade.

“Well, before you so rudely interrupted us, we were having a moment.” Then Michael caressed Virgil and ghosted his lips over Virgil’s, touching but not quite kissing.

Logan’s eyes flashed.

Virgil shook his head. “We were not having a moment! I assure, I don’t want to be here!”

Logan’s look softened when he looked at Virgil. “Don’t worry starlight, I know.”

While Logan was confronting Michael, Roman started towards Ethan.

“And just who the hell are you?” Ethan smirked and said “I’m Patty’s new boyfriend.” Then he grabbed Patton around the waist and he kissed him. “Also, Patton told me that he doesn’t want to get married to you anymore. Just thought you should know.”

Roman gripped the flamethrower, planning a murder. He stepped closer to Ethan. “Is that so? Hmmm, Pat?” If Patton said yes, then Roman would walk away. But if he said no...

Patton viciously shook his head, looking like he was about to throw up. “No! My prince, you know I only want you.”

Roman smiled softly at Patton. “I know darling.”

He looked at Ethan. “You, however, need to get the fuck away from MY fiancé, so I can beat your ass!”

Logan told Virgil to duck and swung at the same moment that Roman slapped Ethan with the butt of the  flamethrower. Logan missed, mainly because he was trying not to hurt Virgil, but Ethan let go of Patton.

Patton dropped to the floor, but came back up 5 seconds later, holding something. He then started trying to hit Ethan with a barbed wire wrapped tennis racket. Ethan was so busy running from Patton that he ran straight into the punch Roman threw.

With Ethan now down for the count, Roman embraced and checked on Patton.

Logan swung and Michael ducked, resulting in Virgil being able to get free. He only made it about two steps before Michael grabbed his wrist and pulled him to where Virgil’s back was flush with Michael’s chest.

Michael yanked Virgil’s face, then kissed him hard and forcefully. He then forced Virgil to look at Logan. “How are you gonna get me without hurting your precious ‘starlight’?” Michael asked tauntingly.

Instead of answering Logan threw the bat at Michael’s head and hit him squared in the nose.

Michael released Virgil and Virgil ran into Logan’s arms. Logan wrapped Virgil tightly in his arms. He spat on a bleeding Michael.

“I hope it broke that time, bitch.”

Logan the picks up Virgil bridal style, and took him outside to where Roman was on the phone with 9-1-1. The cops arrested Michael and Ethan for three different types of assault. Roman and Logan explained how they had planned to surprise Patton and Virgil with a late lunch, and Romans flamethrower was actually a prop he was needing to repaint.

The paramedics checked everyone out, and everyone was deemed ok.

As soon as the paramedics left, Roman took Patton to their house for cuddling and affirmations of love. (Roman repeatedly told Patton that he was very brave, but Patton just wanted to know that Roman loves and still wants him after today’s events. Ethan made Patton worry that Roman would think that Patton didn’t care for Roman. But Roman knows how much Patton cares, and Roman would never not want Patton.  And that night, Roman made sure that Patton knew it.)

Logan took Virgil to his house. Logan’s house was closer to Virgil’s work, Thomas’s house, and Patton and Roman’s place, so Virgil had been staying over there a lot and already had nightclothes there.

They had cuddled and watched The Black Cauldron. Virgil was still a shaken, so Logan spent the entire movie whispering sweet nothing to Virgil while kissing him on the cheek, forehead, nose, everywhere but the lips.

Virgil started to think that it was for a reason.

“Hey Logan?” Virgil asked, his voice very soft. “Yes starlight?” Virgil smiled at the nickname, but became serious once more.

“Do you think I’m disgusting because of what Michael did?”

Logan was stunned. “Of course not Virgil! If you feel nasty you can take another bath, but I don’t think that you are disgusting. If anything, Michael is disgusting because he doesn’t know how to take no for an answer.”

Virgil started crying. “When he said that we were... you just looked so mad... and then when he... I thought you hated me..”

Logan scooped his boyfriend into his lap and squeezed him tight.

“Ohhh starlight, I am so sorry that I ever made you think that! I could never hate you, you are one of the most wonderful things in my life!”

Virgil stopped crying as much, as stared at Logan. “Really?”

Logan was determined to make Virgil believe him.

“Yes. I was planning to ask after the wedding, but Virgil, will you move in with me? You are already here all the time, you already have your own drawer, and every morning when I wake up without you in my arms or night where your face is not the last I see is just a waste. So, will you formally move in with me?”

Virgil wrapped his arms around Logan’s neck and kissed him deeply. “Of course I will! I love you!” Virgil said, then slapped his hand over his mouth.

That was the first time ‘I love you’ had been said between them.

Logan smiled and kissed Virgil. “I love you too.”

They spent the rest of the night cuddling, comforting, kissing, and saying ‘I love you.’

-----

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[swan--writes]

The Deetz went on vacation, the Maitlands are taking care of something in the Neatherworld and reader has to babysit Beetlejuice

I have no idea if this is what you wanted, but this is what my brain cranked out. Really hope you enjoy!

Words: ~2,160

“C’mon kid, ya can’t do this to me! What’ll I do without you? I’ve never been alone with Y/N before!”

“Beetlejuice, come on. I have to leave.” Lydia’s words were drowned out by a pathetic wail from the demon clinging to her suitcase. You watched from where you stood beside Charles’s car. Lydia was attempting to drag her suitcase down the front steps of the Deetz-Maitland house.

Beetlejuice had spent the previous twenty-four hours trying to stop the Deetzes from leaving him. The family had hidden their vacation plans from him for as long as they could, using code words, deleting internet histories, delaying packing for as long as possible. But Delia had let slip on Thursday night that the family was going away for Lydia’s February vacation. Beetlejuice did not take the news of their imminent departure well.

Rather than deal with a bored, hyperactive demon for the week, the Maitlands had opted to spend some time in the Netherworld. Miss Argentina was missing some paperwork for them anyway. Charles had explained all of this to you the day before the Deetzes were to leave. You had been tutoring Lydia for a few months, and had hardly batted an eye the first time you met the demon. Once it became clear that Beetlejuice had no intention of leaving the house while everyone was gone, Charles knew you were just the person to ask for a very special favor.

“Thank you for watching him. I know this isn’t what we hired you for.” Without waiting for a reply, Charles scooped up Lydia’s large black suitcase and tossed it into the trunk of the family car, shaking off the demon as he did. Beetlejuice fell in a heap on the dirt drive. If it added any stains to his jacket, you couldn’t tell. “You know what to do if he gets to be too much?” Charles was already rounding to the driver’s side.

“Yes, I have all of Lydia’s instructions memorized,” you said.

“And you know about–”

“All of the plants, the stray cats, and the cleaning instructions.”

“What about–”

“The trick stair, third from the bottom.” You smiled down at Delia. She had told you this from over Charles’s shoulder the day before, practically yelling into the phone over the sounds of the raging demon just outside their bedroom. “Don’t worry, the house will be fine. Just go and have fun in London.” To your left, Lydia was helping Beetlejuice pick himself up from the ground. She dusted off his shoulders. Lydia rolled her eyes when Beetlejuice presented her his cheek and, rather than give him the kiss he was after, she pushed his face away, wiping the slime from his skin on his jacket as she went. Beetlejuice feigned insult. Lydia ignored him and climbed into the car.

“Bye, Y/N.”

“See you in eight days, Lydia.”

“Thank you again for doing this, Y/N.” Charles was halfway in the car when he thanked you. You knew why he was in a hurry – you yourself were watching Beetlejuice warily from the corner of your eye.

“It’s not a problem, Mr. Deetz.”

Beetlejuice watched the Deetzes drive away. You watched Beetlejuice. He waved enthusiastically, calling after them that London really wasn’t so great, and that he didn’t need them, and that it was only a matter of time before the London Eye went on a rampage, and you got the sense he was warming up to some very descriptive language before he took a step too far from the house.

Before your eyes, Beetlejuice’s front foot contacted an invisible barrier. “Hey, whoa. Whoa-no! Whoa!” Green sparks shot up from the ground and he was swept into the air, swirling and spinning and shrieking his way back into the house. The front door slammed shut behind him.

This might be a problem, Mr. Deetz.

You smiled in amusement before walking up the front steps and through the front door.

The first three days were quiet. Far too quiet. Beetlejuice floated through the halls at about your eye level, groaning, his hair a dull green. As long as he could still move, you decided not to worry. You refused to leave the house just in case. On day four, however, you realized you were out of snacks. You closed the cupboard and all but snuck upstairs, skipping the third step as you went. You got dressed in the guest room, where you had been sleeping, and washed your face quietly. When you went back downstairs, Beetlejuice was floating from the kitchen and into the living room. You stepped in front of him to stop him.

“Beej.” He came to a halt before you.

“Oh, you’re still here,” he said solemnly. You gave him a look, but ignored the remark. You had spent the last three days cleaning up the messes that Beetlejuice somehow managed to leave behind; water on the floor of the bathroom he didn’t need to use, dishes from the dubious meals he didn’t need to eat, the dirt he seemed to trail behind him.

“I have to run to the store,” you explained carefully. “I will be back in thirty minutes. Don’t do anything weird, don’t set anything on fire, don’t leave any messes that I can’t fix within the week.” Beetlejuice’s feet dropped to the floor.

“C’mon, you know me babes. I’d never give you anything you couldn’t handle.” A mischievous glint sparkled in his eye.

You shook your head. “I’ll be back.”

Needless to say, your heart was racing the entire time you were gone.

When you returned to the house, you only managed one step up to the front door before thinking better of it. Looking around, up to the roof, behind you, and through every window, you didn’t see Beetlejuice anywhere. As subtly as possible, you crept around the house to the back door and entered the house as quietly as possible. The back door brought you into the laundry room, and once you had tiptoed out of it, what you saw only confirmed your suspicions.

The front door was covered in green webbing. One strand of webbing led to what looked like a black flame thrower, off to the side. Would Beetlejuice really set you on fire? You didn’t think so, but regardless, you didn’t want to find out what that contraption did.

When you turned to your left, you were met with Beetlejuice’s face hovering upside-down, mere inches from your own. His feet were lost in the ceiling, and his filthy jacket was hanging over his head. He was grinning.

You gasped, but recovered quickly. “Nice try, Beej, but I’ve been seeing ghosts since I was like, three. You don’t get to me.”

Rather than reply, Beetlejuice leaned forward. Before you could stop him, the demon pressed a wet, sloppy kiss to your cheek. “Smart breather,” he growled before the ceiling sucked him up and out of sight.

“What the hell?” you cried after him. You made a disgusted noise and wiped what seemed to be ectoplasm off your face with your coat sleeve. Then, hearing sizzling, you rushed to get out of the thick coat and threw it to the floor. Maybe you should use the flame thrower-looking contraption on it.

You opted not to leave the house again after that. It only got worse. There was the swirling vortex in the guest room closet that you had to leap back to avoid. There was the slimy…thing among the cleaning supplies that you had to chase all over the house and subdue with a bucket before dragging it outside. Even on day six, when you had a movie night and Beetlejuice was sitting right at your feet eating popcorn, he somehow made all the condiments in the fridge fight a battle to the death with the cutlery. The cutlery won. Finally, day seven came. It was uneventful – a dead rat here, a bloody knife there. You wondered if Beetlejuice was starting to settle down.

Even at the time, the thought seemed naïve, but you let it go.

In the middle of the night, you were awoken by all the screens in the house lighting to static and the sound of chanting. Butts and brains. Sorrow and pain! Nooses and snakes, bottomless lakes, corpses with weights…

“Beetlejuice!” You had no idea where he was, so you just yelled into the darkness of your room, barely illuminated by the moonlight. “Cut it out, I’m trying to sleep!” But the chanting continued. Grumbling, you stepped out of bed. In retrospect, you should have known better.

As soon as your foot made contact with the cold floor, something that felt an awful lot like a tentacle wrapped around your ankle, latching on and pulling hard. As you fell to the floor, you let out a high-pitched shriek. Reaching out blindly, your hand found the thick hardcover you had been reading before you went to sleep. Though you managed to grab it, you couldn’t break your fall and your elbow smashed into the floor. The tentacle started to drag you under the bed. You turned and started whacking at it with the book. It took a few tries for you to connect, but finally you felt the grip on your ankle loosen. Scrambling away, you pulled your legs out from under your bed, ran across the room, and hit the light switch. When you whirled around again, wide-eyed, you saw him.

“Beetlejuice,” you wheezed, trying to catch your breath.

Beetlejuice emerged, limping from under your bed. “Jeez, babes, what did you hit me with? The Necronomicon?”

“Beetlejuice,” you growled. You threw the book aside and stalked up to the demon. Your voice was low. “I get that you are bored. I get that you miss everyone. But what do you mean to accomplish by torturing me?”

“Aw, I was just havin’ some fun, baby. It’s no harm–”

You kept the same deadly tone, but now your voice was rising. “Are you kidding? I have barely gotten any sleep this week, I have bruises everywhere, the house is a mess, and I can’t even walk down the hall without being assaulted by a dead guy.” You jabbed an accusing finger at his chest. “That sounds harmful to me!”

Now Beetlejuice was staring at you. Some of the humor was wearing away from his expression. “Y/N…”

You shook your head, then sighed through your nose and turned away. “Whatever. Whatever!” you repeated, throwing your hands up. You climbed back into bed gingerly, the small injuries of the past week all choosing that moment to remind you of where they were. “Just go do whatever it is you do when you’re not screwing with me. I’ll be gone soon anyway, everyone will be back in the morning.”

When you looked up at Beetlejuice again, he almost seemed not to know what to do with himself. Faintly, you noticed that his hair had turned purple. Without speaking, he nodded and walked to the door, head downturned all the while. When he got there, he hesitated. Slowly, Beetlejuice reached down and picked up your book. He brought it back over to the nightstand and, ignoring how you tensed up more and more the closer he drew, he set it down. Then he walked back to the door and left, shutting it softly behind him.

The next morning, you came downstairs fully dressed and expecting to have to battle some new eldritch creature. You had your book at the ready. But when you walked into the living room, it was spotless. All the webbing on the front door was gone, the scuff marks from where you had dragged the thing through the house were erased. Every dent in the furniture, every chipped spot on the walls, every ketchup stain was gone, as though nothing had ever happened. You wandered into the kitchen and found your ectoplasm-free winter coat draped over the back of a chair – the one you always sat in when you came to tutor Lydia. When you returned to the living room, Beetlejuice was sitting on the stairs. He watched you with a sheepish look on his pale face.

You walked up to him and ruffled his hair. It changed from purple to green under your hand. “Thank you,” you said. He gave you a sharp-toothed grin.

At that moment, the front door opened and Lydia Deetz tumbled through. In the time it took you to blink, Beetlejuice had lifted her off her feet and was, according to her muffled complaints, suffocating her. Charles and Delia walked in after the teenager and set their luggage down. Delia walked over to Lydia and Beetlejuice to try to intervene. To your right, Barbara and Adam were bouncing down the stairs and announcing that they were home. Charles leaned on the door and looked down at you.

“So, how was he?”

You gave Charles a weathered smile. “Oh, he was easy,” you said.

Buy Me a Coffee?

[blackevermore]

Ok fine, who's most likely to enthusiastically start a fire?

x Wonka will set someone on fire while speaking to them

x Nate sets fires when he blacks out

x Mikey won't admit it but fire is really "pretty"

x Bee will find a reason to start a fire even if it's a stupid reason

x Nqiue has been tasked to do a shit ton of fires from his mother. Sometimes it's out of habit to flick a match

x Alastor lives in constant fire HA

x Mettaton thought a flame thrower was a amazing addition to his chainsaw

x Ivan has drunk instinct to start fires and sober instincts to stay warm

x Its Vlad if he doesn't let you he will fire you

[writersoffashion]

By John Wade.

From his first foray in film-making, Reservoir Dogs, to his latest, Once upon a time in Hollywood, Quentin Tarantino has always stood far above his contemporaries due to his talent and dedication to originality, individuality and bravery. Whilst films age and relevancy dissipates, it is important to know what a film means to those who exist at the time of its release. Below are some observations about the movie and why this is perhaps the most important film to surface in the late twenty teens and why it is so refreshing.

It would be difficult to argue that OUATIH is not a comment about current times, particularly the bullying and the kangaroo court tactics used by some at the #METOO movement, online trolling and those hiding behind outrage culture. Whilst standing up and seeking justice for the innocent abused by others is vital, what we saw unfold over the past few years was not always noble. Many men, particularly those in Hollywood, were targeted by individuals with a cross to bear. Careers and reputations were destroyed and blackmail or threat of blackmail loomed and still looms as a result. Quentin Tarantino was a target of this witch hunt, because he was less guarded than most. Here is a brave artist, noble to his craft and someone who both in cinema and in real life stood up to his bullies. As a result, a shopping list of every possibly poor interaction he had with a member of the opposite sex was jotted down. None were as bad or as invasive as the hype which surrounded it.  The bullies thought they would silence him and Tarantino played it smart, he retired to write and make Once upon a time in Hollywood and boy, was this his response. They thought they would see less “male gaze” but he amped it up with his shots of feet. They thought they would show more empowering images of women but he showed women are not always as innocent and pure as modern day Hollywood would have us believe. In fact, the Manson family of 1969 was a direct metaphor for the bullies that have taken over Hollywood and no clearer is this than the location of :

1.      Spahn Ranch.

This was once a movie set but now home to the evil and docile Manson Family. Here Tarantino tells us that the nut jobs have taken over Hollywood and shows the squatters are precocious and bulling brats. When we venture into the heart, the shell of the owner is still there, but he is clearly controlled by the new tenants, like a filmmaker or franchise that is recognisable in name but not in content.

2.      The Playboy mansion

This is shown to be similar in many ways to Spahn ranch. Looking herself like a cult enthusiast, Mama Cass grabs the writs of Sharon Tate and runs her into the thick of the party where we experience the clone of a clone type Playboy blonde obsessed L.A. All at this party are obedient and compliant to the group think of the time, a warning as what will happen if this town remains obliging and submissive to the powers that be.

3.      The Casting of Maya Hawke and Lena Dunham.

In the peak of the #METOO movement, Ex Tarantino collaborator Uma Thurman came forward and “suggested” Quentin was an abuser. She detailed that in the process of filmmaking she was spat at and injured in a car accident. She both blamed Quentin and said she was not blaming him, which came across as being seen as sitting on a fence, just behind the archers. Whilst Tarantino is responsible for championing the car stunt gone wrong, and thus, it is understandable for Thurman’s anger,  it seemed that the right thing to do would have been for Thurman to air her grievance with him in private rather than going to the frenzied horde. As a result, the filmmaker had to obviously remain civil and diplomatic, but it was interesting to see, at first, the inclusion of Thurman’s daughter Maya Hawke, in this film.

 Maya’s inclusion is an interesting one. Here she is in a movie where “cinematic exploitation”  is shown literally leaving before any blows take place.  Also in the film was the prominent #METOO practitioner Lena Dunham, who seemed to be happy having her cake and eating it to, proving politics, is just a tool used to climb the ladder.

4.      Thou Shalt not steer the artist’s brush.

The most fitting song not included on the lengthy soundtrack is Frank Sinatra’s My Way. Maya Hawke may have gone home without a scratch but the other guys and girls in the Manson gang were not so lucky. Being aware of the controversy and control Tarantino’s detractors claim to have over him, this is a moment where we sit forward in our cinema seats and wait to see the auteur's response. The Manson family, are ready to commit ugliness on the innocent but have arrived at the wrong door. Earlier we had seen Brad Pitt hurl Bruce Lee against a car and Leo Di Caprio wield a flamethrower and like Cerise flying high above Kingslanding we are waiting for her reaction to the bells.

Tarantino does not spare the brush and we are treated to one of the most satisfying pieces of cinema violence in full 35 mm. Part of the enjoyment of course comes from the fact that this is the artist demonstrating that he will not be silenced and in 2019, this is so glorious to see. He may not throw the kitchen sink at these monstrous women but he does employ a brick bar, dog food can and flame thrower in an alternative ending far superior to that of Inglorious. The great thing  is the good guys don’t have guns (although they do have a flame thrower).

 Cinematic violence is not the key element in a movie that attracts me, but far less attractive is censorship or the silencing of artists. In the 1980’s and 1990’s I was always at the movies, now it is once every few years. This is because modern day films, feel like your childhood friend is trying to tell you a story while both your mothers are in the room. Representation, diversity, political correctness dominates content, destroying originality and creativity. Let’s not live in a time where artists are pressured, threatened or silenced. They are not the enemy.