#flushcrushed

[cloudbattrolls]

"...is changing my name and faking my death again still an option? No? Drat. Was really hoping it might be. But I don't think mu - my parent would stop giving me accusing looks if I tried to make a break for it now. On...either...front."

You really, really, really want to ignore the realization you just had, but no putting that back in Pandora's box.

[stormpainter]

an of course Fansee and Tars lil .. friend

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Is Eridan’s fake attempt for land dweller genocide just a manifestation of his guilt of orphaning all those trolls? He says he wants to kill them all so they will no longer have to deal the loss of losing their parent to some finned hipster asshole?

So Eridan's life pre-SGRUB is primarily concerned with one thing: it is his Duty as a violet-blood who is close to the Heiress to feed her lusus so that it doesn't throw a tantrum and Kill Everybody. It's a manifestation not of guilt, but of anxiety.

He describes the murder he commits in pursuit of this as "all i evver done practically," and we never see him participate in a hobby he enjoys - we learn he's a hipster because Karkat calls him one, he FLARPs to fill Gl'bgolyb's belly, and people have fought with me before, but I maintain that his "interest" in military history is also just a part of his posturing/something he reads like somebody would doomscroll, as it validates his anxiety, because he only ever talks about history twice, in the vaguest possible terms, and the first time, it's just part of him posturing at Kanaya, and the second time, he's literally just. Wrong? He's just incorrect?

CA: yeah go ahead and kiss us off but therell be blood on your hands CA: you could either play along as our auspistice and do a little mediating like you wwere fuckin hatched to CA: or wwatch she and me devvolvve into fuckin full fledged kismesisses the kind like you dont get once in ten thousand swweeps CA: you knoww thats wwhat it wwould be there wwould be rainboww rivvers runnin through star systems and all nebulizin like liquid firewworks CA: it wwill be beautiful and heartbreaking all at once CA: you should read up on your history instead of poring through that godawwfull sunny rubbish

CC: None of your plots to kill t)(e land dwellers ever work out, and every doomsday device you get your )(ands on turns out to be a piece of junk! CA: so CA: i got to keep tryin thats howw all the great military masterminds became great through upright persevverance

Like I just. Don't believe him when he says he's obsessed with military history when he doesn't seem to be able to name five specific battles, and thinks the main attribute a military leader needs to succeed is "persevverance". We know that Karkat's interest in romance is real because he brings it up more than twice and also starts infodumping about it to Vriska at one point, but Eridan only seems to mention it because he thinks he's supposed to care about it.

Which is pretty much, like, one of the biggest tensions in his character: how he feels he's supposed to act vs. how he actually feels about acting that way. He faces multiple pressures to be a certain person, which run counter to his actual feelings.

He has to be a murderer, because if he isn't one, then Gl'bgolyb will do a genocide on his entire species.

He has to be an unrepentant murderer, because they live in a horrible fascist murder-society where highbloods are supposed to kill lowbloods all the time for literally any reason.

He has to be the one getting his hands bloody because his ancestor, Dualscar, was also the Orphaner, and (especially highblood) trolls need to take up their ancestors' mantles.

He has to be rude and condescending to everybody else because that's how highbloods, and especially sea dwellers, have to act.

He cannot express compassion, sympathy, or pity, because sea dwellers and highbloods aren't supposed to act that way.

Magic has to be fake, because it's for shitty wigglers, and Eridan's not a wiggler anymore!

He has to be in a torrid pitch relationship because that was the most defining one Dualscar had, and he needs to complete Dualscar's unfinished business.

He has to be in a flushed relationship because Dualscar had an unrequited flushcrush on the empress, and he needs to complete Dualscar's unfinished business.

He has to hate the lowbloods because he's a highblood.

He has to hate the land dwellers because he's a sea dweller.

But wait! That's weird. He has to hate the land dwellers and lowbloods, but he's the one responsible for making sure they don't all die by keeping Gl'bgolyb full?

In truth, it would be all too easy to solve the land dweller problem once and for all. You'd just need to lighten up on the feeding schedule for a while. Maybe you'd be a little too busy to bother with that hassle for once? Or maybe you could happen to be off your game for a spell? It happens, even to the best sometimes. But nah. It would make her upset. More emotions. More problems. That's all you need.

And he has to be an unrepentant murderer even though he clearly feels more guilt for it than Feferi?

That should keep her happy for a while. And make a freshly orphaned troll somewhere pretty sad.

And you claim magic is fake idiot stuff for babies but you like it SOOOO much?

You also like MAGIC, even though you know it to be FAKE. Like a made up friend, the way wizards are. Made up make believe FAKEY FAKEY FAKES. It's still fun though.

So we can see that Eridan is basically being pulled two ways at all times.

On one hand, there's everything society says he needs to be: an unrepentant murderer, a military dictator, ruthless bloodthirsty sea-dwelling aristocracy, hater of all low bloods and land dwellers, Orphaner Dualscar's heir.

And on the other hand, there's the guy Eridan actually is: doesn't give a shit about the hemocaste, just wants friends and/or relationship partners, likes magic, like hipster stuff, kind of a tool, guilty and traumatized.

It doesn't help that the people he's surrounded by are the least likely to recognize his distress as distress - Feferi loooooves being a princess, Kanaya has never really voiced any strong opinions on the hemocaste because it largely doesn't concern her since she's a rare jade blood, and Vriska is doing a lot better than Eridan is at fitting the mold they were born into (not that she doesn't have problems, she's just doing better than Eridan, which is a low fucking bar). Even Karkat, because of his own hangups about being a mutant pariah, venerates the society he was born into, because he (wrongly) sees it as a means to gain validation so he can hate himself less. As a result, Eridan winds up with basically 0 support system, because pretty much every aspect of his life reinforces that the thing society says he should be is correct, and that there's something wrong with Eridan for being unable to meet that expectation.

Especially because, for at least all the "murderer" he's supposed to be, if he fails to meet that expectation, everybody dies. So it's not just that he's got a pushy lusus and a shitty society, like Vriska does, but that there's also the added weight that adhering to those expectations is literally, objectively, the correct thing to do, so long as he doesn't want literally everybody to die.

As a result, he's constantly trying to overcorrect his behavior and cognition to line up with what he thinks he's supposed to be. That's why he's constantly saying slurs even though he doesn't actually treat anybody differently for their caste. That's why he's constantly talking about murder and military history, even though he clearly doesn't enjoy doing either of those things. That's why he's always pushing this image of a big bad fascist wannabe, even though he actually wants to be a magic-slinging wizard.

The thing about genocide, for Eridan, is that he's already obsessed with genocide - the prevention of genocide. Keeping his species from being genocided is, without exaggeration, the most time-consuming pursuit in his life. BUT WAIT! He can't say, think, or believe that his actions are for the benefit of the land dwellers, because first of all, he feels kind of guilty about killing them, and second of all, because he's not allowed to express compassion to the people he's keeping safe. So between the stress, the cognitive dissonance, the anxiety, and the fact that Eridan doesn't really do a lot of introspection because he's so overwhelmed by emotion, his existing preoccupation with genocide is transmuted into something that's socially acceptable: "wanting all the land dwellers dead."

"[I]t would be all too easy." Indeed: if he ever slacks in his duties, they will all die. In fact, it's easier for him to let them die than to not. He clearly doesn't like doing all that killing, and it clearly makes him feel bad, and takes up a shitton of his time if nothing else, so it's probably occurred to him over, and over, and over, that maybe he should just... not! What if he just stopped.

Well, then everyone would die. Gl'bgolyb would raise her voice a little and it'd kill all the rust bloods, then the bronzes, the golds, the limes, the olives...

Wait! Is he feeling bad for them? He's not supposed to be feeling bad for the low bloods! Shit, shit, shit. Say a slur and then say something about how you WANT all the low bloods dead. PHEW. OKAY. SAFE. But that means you need to kill all the lowbloods. Because you said it, so it has to be true, and also, this is the way you're supposed to be. So, fuck, well, go commission a doomsday device. Okay, done. PHEW. It probably doesn't work, but nobody can say you didn't try! Hooray, you did it! You have performed a Sea Dweller Action! Oh it's time to go kill some people again. Damnit. Killing people sucks. It makes you feel bad, and it takes up so much of your time. What if you just didn't...

And we can see this with the way his lust for genocide is described. There's no mention of why he hates the land dwellers, no mention of how he believes society will improve with them gone, or even what they're doing that's so bad in the first place. He rambles at Feferi about "keeping the bloodlines pure" at one point, but this is clearly contradicted by him stating he wouldn't kill Kanaya, because what sort of friend would he be? (And the fact that he cares about Kanaya, Vriska, and the anon-blooded Karkat, who could be literally any blood color, at all!)

So yeah, like, the thing is, he doesn't want to kill them all. He even calls himself out for knowing his latest doomsday plot was a bust from the start:

You are almost starting not to care about this stupid doomsday device which probably won't even work. She probably KNOWS you know it won't work. She has probably put all the pieces together and knows it was an elaborate ruse to be in cahoots with her again.

And so does Feferi:

CC: None of your plots to kill t)(e land dwellers ever work out, and every doomsday device you get your )(ands on turns out to be a piece of junk! CA: so CA: i got to keep tryin thats howw all the great military masterminds became great through upright persevverance CC: I t)(ink deep down you stack t)(ese plots against you so you fail because you know it's wrong.

And here he is outright contradicting his stated goal of killing the land dwellers because, jegus, he'd never kill his friends:

CA: but somethin thatll kill all land dwwellers wwhat else wwould i be after GA: Can You Just For A Moment Entertain The Thoughts Of One Untouched By Megalomaniacal Derangement And Tell Me Why Id Want To Assist You With That CA: wwell CA: im not goin to vvery wwell kill you am i that wwould be fuckin unconscionable CA: wwhat kind of friend wwould i be

And a reminder that one of his closest friends at this point in time is Karkat, whose blood color is currently anonymous to his friend group, meaning he could be literally any blood color and Eridan wouldn't want him dead:

CC: You know, I'm not sure w)(y we never talk about our romantic aspirations. CC: We s)(ould more often. It is kind of -EXCITING! CA: shrug CC: Probably because you fill your gossip quota wit)( your nubby )(orned bro.

But Karkat also explicitly lumps himself in with the low bloods, so Eridan can't even use the excuse that Karkat might be nobility (but sea dwellers are still suppose to hate land dwelling nobility so that still wouldn't be a defense EVEN IF it was true):

CG: CHALK IT UP AS ANOTHER INFURIATING VICTORY FOR GUTTER BLOOD OVER ARISTOCRACY.

Because Eridan does not want to genocide the land dwellers. He's just anxious.

[ask-the-meteor-crew]

Gamzee, do you really not think your precious flushcrush should be allowed to make his own decisions? He asked Dave to kiss him this time.

#126

The ask box is open

Check out the pinned post to read in order

[ineptlydrawnnep]

Day 40

Welcome to the third Ship of the Week fur me! :33 Today's is ProhibitedWish from the series 'Fionna and Caikke'!

The switch they go through is so funny! >w< They atarted off super black with Scarab's nagging and Prismo's drefusal to listen!

I'll admit to fureeling sympathetic fur the teal-blood. <:[ He was doing his job, furllowing rules the purrwerful high-bloods dresregarded! But then he took things too far and fell from the grace he wanted to claim!

And now, he's stuck with Prismo :33 Mew brain was aldready pouncing on pawssibilities for the ship before Scarab was pawnished! But now that they *have* to live together (and with the chance of them bonding a lot over their dorky interests), how could I *not* fixate on this!!! Let them become better people together! >:oo

Scarab gets to loosen up and feel safe somewhere, no longer having to put up his tough man furont! And Prismo can have drespit from his boredom! To heal from a Jake-shaped hole in his heart where his past flushcrush furiend used to be!

It's purrfect! >w<

[eyeonyou]

MN: condy

MN: yo condy put me down

MN: fefs frond wants me to punch his anseastor

)(IC: ooooh

MN: yeah

)(IC: that’s adorable does he have a flushcrush

FF: 380

MN: i )(AVE a gillfrond

)(IC: gurl you have a Serket

)(IC: wouldn’t ya rather flush a nice seadweller

MN: oh my GLUB

)(IC: an he’s kinda cute for an Ampora

MN: stop

)(IC: Dualscar’s ass is punching UP look

FF: W)(ere did you get t)(at p)(oto???

MN: yeah I would tell you to stop being racist but you wouldn’t have a perseanality left

)(IC: …

)(IC: BEACH

(I cannot figure out how to draw dancestors lol)

[davekat-sucks]

I don't know if you do Ashen ships as better than davekat, but hear me out; EriRosemary with Eridan as auspistice.

I just hate that Rose's alcoholism isn't allowed to be as destructive to her relationship as alcoholism usually is. Kanaya's clearly frustrated and angry at the situation and don't just make her put up with it! Let her be a hater! Let Eridan teach her to deal out that dark umbrage and voice her opinions instead of lying to herself all the time, like he has already told her to do, but without letting them go full pitch because at the end of the day he does respect the flushcrushing. Narratively, pay off that set up panel of Eridan calling faygo nothing special. Narratively pay off that thing of Doc Scratch mentioning the three of them in the same breath. Narratively, let Kanaya grow as a character from just being everyone else's auspistice/mom. Narratively give any other character something to do post retcon besides having Vriska solve EVERYTHING.

It will even pay off that Eridan had mocked Kanaya for always being the mediator in auspiticism that the violetblood himself will take her place instead to be this for Rose and Kanaya. It may not have Kanaya forgive Eridan immediately for destroying the Matriorb, but she may at least think a little less shitty about him that she doesn't want to kill his ass a second time.

[beforus-against-real-justice]

talcus do u have a flushcrush...

no!!! why would you say thiiis!!! who would iii even have a flushcrush on!!! what are you talkiiing about!!!

[battery-anon]

should eye confess to my flushcrush for today? eyet seems to be a good day to rueyen a freyendsheyep eye theyenk?

[approximateknowledge]

one of the things i will never understand about the homestuck fandom: eridan. i hate that twink. i want him obliviated. there is nothing going for him other than his cape and scarf. at least vriska is minimally badass in her morally grayness and her name autocorrects to crisis (although it's really fucken weird that her character development is like. completely erased). eridan just. murdered his flushcrush and her matesprit. i will never get why the fandom loves that bastard (/neg) so much

ok, so, i get where you're coming from, but let's just say im glad you compared him to vriska immediately, because there's something there!

in short it's because:

ERIDAN IS FUCKING MISERABLE

vriska enjoys her theatrics and her role, revels in it; meanwhile eridan only ever feels like he has no choice.

on alternia, they both flarped and killed to feed a dangerous lusus, but spidermom was only ever dangerous to vriska (if she ever went rogue she'd get obliterated by equius), so it was only ever for herself.

eridan's lusus is fine! but gl'bgolyb is not. even as he talks about killing everyone on land he's perpetually saving their asses from the vast glub.

eridan is scared and has no real identity of his own. scared of getting culled because his quadrants aren't filled, scared that he might have no future, scared scared scared.

what we see are coping mechanisms. right up until he gets cut in half. eridan isn't evil, he's desperate.

honestly the fact you hate him is poetic, because he hates himself too; he may *say* he wanted to negotiate with bec noir but truthfully? that was a murder-suicide. almost a successful one.

that's why erisolsprite was so stable; both halves hated eridan.

eridan is an exhausted little miserable guy covered in layers and layers of destructive coping mechanisms. a prince of hope who destroyed his own hope, long before the game even began. and some of us want to peel those layers off and help what's underneath.

that's eridan. not like vriska. eridan isn't having fun. never was.

because eridan doesn't like being eridan.

who would?

[jojotier]

Using the example of Rose/Agent Cestus, Kanaya/Auxiliatrix, and Vriska/Agent Arachnid:

HUMANSTUCK: Dr. Rose has a crush on Kanaya, who has a crush on Vriska. After Vriska warms up and they start dating, Rose is left a bit put out, but takes her mind off of it by throwing herself into her spy job as Agent Cestus, where she immediately starts having romantic tension with the rogue Agent Arachnid (secretly Vriska), who she must protect from Auxiliatrix (secretly Kanaya), who has been trying to kill her every night. Auxiliatrix starts having romantic tension with Agent Cestus while hating Agent Arachnid's guts, because Arachnid refusing to die means she's Exhausted on dates with Vriska, which causes her to become guilty of finding Agent Cestus (secretly Rose) so alluring...

MIXED SPECIES: Dr. Rose has a flushcrush on Kanaya, but Kanaya views Dr Rose in a more pale light while she flushes after Vriska, even though Vriska feels pale for Kanaya, which she feels guilty about because of her failed moirailegiance with Terezi, who is now palecrushing on Kanaya in a hilarious twist of fate. As such, Vriska, feeling frustrated in how hard she finds pretending to be a civilian to be and jealous of how uncomplicated this civilian tailor's life is, starting feeling pitch for Kanaya. Alas! Kanaya, in her role as Auxiliatrix, has found a spadesthrob in the form of Agent Cestus (secretly Rose) and has been harboring pitch feelings for her, forcing Agent Arachnid (secretly Vriska) to auspicize on Agent Cestus's behalf. Agent Cestus meanwhile is seeing spades when looking at Agent Arachnid and Agent Arachnid is seeing hearts when looking at Agent Cestus, and it never ends. the quadrants just keep coming

[cloudbattrolls]

@contrastparadoxx

Possible! She’s taken in pale and ashen, she might try to flirt with Catill in pitch (because she knows no shame, like two weeks after trying to hit on Catill’s fucking matesprit), but she isn’t flirting with anyone flush at the moment.

That’s trickier, though, she’s definitely a lot more pitch-oriented.

[quadrant-query]

< hi!!!! 4o you have any ~hot tips~ for dressing flush this season???? 3<

Absolutely. Although the Ruddy Sunset is behind us this sweep, there's no reason to stop dressing to impress for your prospective matesprit.

And luckily I'm here to help all you shitheads who can't dress yourself.

As you might know, we're currently in second summer, meaning most everything you're going to wear is going to have to be carefully thought out to make sure you can avoid heatstroke. Luckily, it's still possible to look hot in hot weather.

There are plenty of red summer fruits to theme outfits around-- multiple berries and melons fall under this umbrella, and fruit is often used in correlation to flushcrushes because of it's bright budding and sweet juices you can sink your teeth into. Wearing and serving red summer fruits is a great way to make an outfit unmistakably flushed.

If you'd like to go for a stereotypical sweet look, cute red earrings are always a go-to. Lipgloss is also good, and any sort of strong, red makeup look is a flush calling card.

Dresses, skirts, tank tops and shorts that allow you to breathe in the heat but still look classy are always a good call. Things with ruffles can make you look cute but sophisticated, or if you're going for a slightly more casual look, billowy shirts are a good way to mitigate the heat.

Here's a good place to find more flush outfit ideas for the season. Hopefully, you idiots can learn how to dress presentably now.

[quadrant-horror-stories]

iii have a flushcrush on the eviiil troll who kiiilled my culler and keeps iiimpersonatiiing me to my friiiends!!! iii'm goiiing to confess to them toniiight and then play iiit off as a biiit liiike iii diiid when iii had a flushcrush on my other friiiend!!! who iiis not friiiends with the eviiil troll anymore!!! for reasons!!! unrelated reasons!!! not gettiiing iiinto iiit!!! wiiish me luck!!!

.

[halloweensuittruffles]

hi!! could you write tagora having a flushcrush on a human (gender neutral) reader who was in the ✨espionage✨ business previously, and is very good at sneaking around, lock picking, getting dirt on someone, and tricking people into confessing to things elle woods style? i’m sorry if this is too specific!! happy new year

(My requests are not open I am getting to the last ones I have in my inbox, thank you! ❤️)

HOWDY!! Yes i can! Gosh I am Late Late Late to these my apologies!! Happy belated new year sweetie XDD;

One shot Tagora ❤️x human Reader (Good at bein sneaky!!)

To say that Tagora was impressed by you is an understatement- He was absolutely enthralled by you and your skills! How easily you could sweet talk a poor Troll into giving you their whole bank information and how much you were gonna HELP them.

Gorgor couldn’t ask for a better assistant…but he wanted something more than that! Something more than alien friends- something more red..brighter!! Bright red!!

He didn’t even notice himself how much he liked you until it was too late- When you leaned over his shoulder to type on Tagora’s husktop, he realized how BRIGHT TEAL his face became having you that close

“Come on switch the tab!! We almost got him!”

You cheered while Tagora snapped out of his daze of looking at you, He went away, typing, sending the troll on the other end into MORE DEBT on top of his DEBT for reaching out to GorGor himself and not even to schedule something just to make an email complaint. How unprofessional!

Tagora sent it out with his usual malicious grin cracking his neck some. Again there you were with all your energy hugging onto the teal and glad to be working with one of your favorite people!!

Gog dammnit this was gonna be hard…

Tagora gulped down the frog in his throat and hugged you back.. very very closely might I add! You could feel the warmth from the troll despite his outfit and kinda…let him hold you for a bit…it couldn’t hurt right?❤️

[trueoffmypusher]

im playing a weird revenge game with this one troll. running out of ideas of fucked up things to to do him but he wont stay out of my quads. its not funny to tell people i have flushcrushs on them and i need him to understand that.