#food fucking tw

[calicoconstellation]

Hot take: SNAP/EBT (foodstamps) should be usable for buying hot ready made food. Not allowing poor people to get takeout is just punishing disabled people who can't cook just cause we're poor. I shouldn't have to choose between my last spoons and eating.

Second hot take: able-bodied poor people who can cook also deserve takeout. Everyone has days they're too exhausted to cook. No one should be punished for being poor. Easy access to food shouldn't be a fucking privilege.

-Saffron

[coffee-mage-sans-caffeine]

So this morning I woke up ready to make the monster turkey in my fridge. I said to myself 'uuuuugh spatchcocking the turkey is so much work, I'm not going to bother this year.'

Then I went to my recipe box and pulled out the card for the really excellent turkey I made last year. It was an experiment and it turned out so good that I wrote down what I'd done after a couple glasses of wine and put it in the recipe box.

And reader, the first line of the directions. I read myself for filth.

[Image description: A small white recipe card on a grey background. Written on the recipe card in black handwriting is "Directions: Butterfly/Spatchcock the fucking turkey (Remember why you lazy fool). Rub Butter all over turkey, including under skin. Zest orange into Zataar. Drizzle the fucking bird in pomegranate molasses on rack over pan. Rub it in like lotion or whatever. All over. Pat zataar/orange blend all over. Cut orange in half, put under neck skin. Put OJ+Water in pan. Bake that bitch. (Watch pan keep wet) Gravy: Skim fat, use to cook flour (roux). Deglaze pan. Put juice in roux. Add Stock to get Consistency of Gravy. Devour."] First line. I can't stop laughing. Every time I glance at the card, I scream laugh hysterically.

[chocolate-guy-compilations]

HAVE YOU SEEN AMAURY'S NEWEST VIDEO YET BECAUSE

HOLY FUCKING SHIT???

What the godforsaken FUCK

[userjoel]

- You sound like my brother. - ...Your brother who you hate?

BEEF | 1.01 x 1.04 x 1.07

[lazylittledragon]

a 2 act tragedy starring me: i’ve been making fruit smoothies in the morning for a few days which has been great because it’s getting me to actually eat fruit for once, only to go on the internet and be told that it apparently releases all the natural sugars so it's actually Not that great for you and i am devastated

[statusexile]

[tw: sploshing, food play/kink, food insertion, anal, ass eating, nasty shit in general idc don’t read if you’re easily disgusted]

Konig is probably the type of guy who would love to experiment with food during sex. You’re his kinky younger girlfriend and probably the one who introduced him to all these fetishes and kinks he never heard of. But he loves you so much so he’ll probably say yes to anything you want. He’s in his early forties, he needs someone to spice up his sex life and you’re the perfect girl for him!

It started out pretty tame. Probably with you swirling some whipped cream on his abs, sometimes with honey, maybe some chocolate and strawberry syrup as well and lick it off of his body. The sticky, sweet concoction dripped down his chiseled torso as your tongue eagerly lapped it up, sending shivers of pleasure through his body and giving him a massive erection.

The next time you did it, you viciously drizzle chocolate syrup and whipped cream all over his thick nine-inch uncut cock, the sugary mixture mixing with his pre-cum and it drips down on his groin area. You hungrily engulf his throbbing shaft, your mouth a dripping mess of cream and chocolate as you eagerly slobber all over it. And when he finally cum, he shoots his warm, thick cum mixed with the concoction down your throat.

This time, it’s time to take it to the next level. Your body trembles with anticipation as you present yourself to him, offering your ass up for his pleasure. He grabs your ass with a force, bending you over a table and inserting half a stick of butter into your pulsating asshole slowly. His eyes are filled with raw lust as he watches your ass cheeks quiver, trying desperately to keep the slick butter from slipping out of your tight hole.

Konig brutally thrusts his massive cock into your tight asshole, the butter still churning inside as he fucked you rapidly. The slickness of the butter makes it easier for him to slide in and out, leaving you feeling used and violated as he claims you with every rough thrust as the butter begins to slowly melt and dripped out, coating his balls and the floor in a slick mess. Your tight hole began to convulse and clamp down as it releases streams of melted butter mixed with his cum. His filthy mouth greedily lapping up every drop, tasting the rich, creamy taste as it squirts out from your asshole. What a depraved little couple both of you are. <3

[abnormalpsychology]

“the dessert you don’t have to feel bad abt!” “guilt-free snacking!” “all the flavor none of the regret!” skill issue

[oramn]

this is a rant about mcyt tiktok (maaaybe twt but i don’t go there)

i hate seeing shit about shelby’s abuse and people calling it the “wilbur and shelby situation” and then other people saying “it’s not the wilbur and shelby situation it’s the shelby situation with wilbur allegations” like babes you are so fucking close. YOU SRE RIGHT THERE

It’s not the wilbur allegations, wilbur wasn’t mentioned or involved whatsoever! Let shelby heal and move on. it’s shubbles situation, nothing more, nothing less. sure there’s things that line up , but that doesn’t fucking matter unless wilbur comes out and admits it, or shelby actively says it was wilbur.

innocent until proven guilty and believe all victims are two things that can coexist and there is little to no nuance on tiktok where conversations like the ones described above are being had.

i also saw someone on here say something along the lines of “good people can do shitty things, good people can be bad in a relationship, good people can be the bad in a relationship ” and i agree, but that is not a conversation many are willing to have, they will jump straight to conclusions and make a woman’s story of abuse about a man.

edit (2/27/24) he posted an 'apology' on twitter, I don't know how I feel about it but he did it. Wilbur abused shelby while they were in a relationship together. He is guilty of what he was speculated of. official ruling imo: fuck that guy

[pfhwrittes]

i have been contemplating the 141 chippy tea order and all i know for certain is ghost is ordering a bagga scraps and a pot of gravy to pour over 'em and soap is having conniptions because what d'ye mean there isnae sucha thing as a munchy box?! the english are barbarians!

[kickingshoes]

T/W Blood and Injury

"Come and See" by avoidingavoidance gripped us by the throat and wouldn't let go until we drew this. WW with plant "markings" is everything I didn't know I needed.

[angelsdean]

a very specific headcanon i have that i've just written into one of my longer wips (so you won't see the scene for an age) is that john is kinda a dick abt food and dean's eating habits. and he's just. so oblivious to the amount that his kids are suffering when he's gone. because dean sure as hell is not gonna bring up how the money is never enough, how they're near starving toward the end of some weeks. how they've relied on charity more than once. so when john comes back and gets them big full meals and dean especially practically inhales his food (bc he's hungrier, bc he's given more of his portions to sammy) john chides him to slow down, it'll make himself sick etc etc. but dean struggles. and he's always SO eager for burgers and pie and carb-y filling things. because he's starving. but he gets a reputation for "eating junk." john teases him for it. or berates him for it when he's feeling especially mean. when dean's older, stanford era, and they meet up for a hunt and get lunch dean still digs into his food a little too quickly, he asks the waitress for pie with a little too much gusto, and john shakes his head, laughing, saying it's a good thing dean's a hunter, it's a good thing he's got the grueling work to keep him fit or else all those burgers and pies would've definitely caught up to him by now. laughs at how dean still eats too fast, "you've done that since you were a kid. never grew out of it, huh?" and dean bites his cheek, bites back a remark about why he always ate so fast, why he's still always squirreling away food and jumping at every "free food" "free samples" opportunity even now when money is easier to come by

[flowerakatsuka]

Osomatsu-San x Oshiado Collaboration Café ( 2024 )

[tangledinink]

new gemini update was so good as always but I can't stop thinking:

big mama: there's nothing wrong with my sons

splinter: you fucked up two perfectly good kids is what you did. look at blue. he's got an eating disorder

wwhhhattttt? nooo, don't be silly. leo doesn't have an eating disorder.

leo and donnie have eating disorders--

[krakenshaped]

Fresh Start || Part 1 || Part 2

[lazylittledragon]

don't you love when you Just stopped feeling guilty about eating the things you like and then one of your parents drops the "i'm concerned about your diet"

[dailyloopdeloop]

DAY 17: tasty boiga