#for all of you Ant fans out there I have a bunch of ant related memes I have drawn/am going to draw them with so . there will be Ant

[dammarchy211]

THE COMMITTEE FOR RAPACIOUS INTERLOPERS AND MANIACAL ESPERS !

drawing dump I definitely can’t fit all of them in but here’s most of em lol. Neo Cortez the founder and Head of C.R.I.M.E. Got a complete redo which I actually Like now so’ll probably expand on him more

[blankvort]

tangentially animal-related hcs 4 the mean girls crew bc i am now responsible for giving a goldfish daddy issues

cady

inexplicably allergic to dogs and always in the first four stages of grief about it. don’t @ me about the medical semantics i just want her to suffer a little

tried to get a job at petco the second she turned eighteen but learned of the above information in the most destructive job interview since janis’s application to be the local coffee shop’s cool gay barista (they were worried that she’d swear at fighter-jet-takeoff volumes if she touched hot coffee) (she did, but only because they started playing a shitty pop cover of one of damian’s fave show tunes) and came out of the building a puddle of mucous and tears

grossly fascinated by the grossest of primitive functions. her insta page is all dope and authentic until you find a selfie taken using the back camera 0.5x with the corpse of an effervescent snail and a bunch of reels telling you how to narrow down what bird species are destroying your garden by the splay of their shit

has a miniature aneurysm whenever movies get stuff wrong about animals. artistic liberties are granted to janis alone. like sure if she’s in the theater she’ll sit through the movie fisting popcorn down her throat but as soon as she gets out of there the entire mall becomes a soapbox for dissecting the bullshit sexual dimorphism of giving female animals eyeliner

thus while i know the headcanon of her loving the lion king is basically canon i think she’s absurdly secretive about it. like she’s burying her merchandise and blu-ray copies under her bed in the dead of night while secreting more sweat than should be possible. she could come out to her parents and elope to antarctica no problem but liking the lion king which implies that lighter manes = stronger lions is a death sentence

probably got banned from a bunch of zoos for interrupting field trips 

janis

had one of those angel/wolf/dragon/whatever hybrid phases as a kid like all good artists. did those like. not quite furry but not quite human animal art commissions on twitter for a while for the funnies but discovered a lucrative market and never turned back

does not know how to hold human or animal babies. like she’s good at taking care of them in terms of general physical and intellectual nourishment but that limp wrist is not supporting any necks properly

mercilessly makes fun of the whole “would you love me if i was a worm” trend. she doesn’t even love most humans what makes you think she has any answer for you regarding that other than that she’d turn you into a super deep art piece museums would purchase for exorbitant amounts

that being said she feels like a vivarium girlie to me. she’s nocturnal like a pillbug and post-canon constantly tries to convince the plastics that her pacman frog is poisonous

feeds her meticulously decorated ant farm gourmet meals every day. anyone else gets microwavable mac and cheese at best

this one probably won’t make sense unless you’re a jenny nicholson fan but she has a fake id for buying wine and turning the corks into those hallmark craft animal sculptures (and selling the open wine bottle to mrs george in back alleys)

damian

his grandma owns the most omnicidal chihuahua in the state of chicago. it’s how he learned to dance with such mental and physical dexterity. how else would he have survived visits to the nursing home

^ attempted to adopt the chihuahua’s children to have his own bruiser woods moment. turns out, even with his classically trained tenor voice, puppies and janis respond to the “drop it” command much the same way. that is to say they do not drop it and the puppies ran away with ninety nine per cent of his anastasia-inspired music box memorabilia

has a love-hate relationship with cats the musical. like memory is one of his top ten karaoke songs but he’s not going to admit it until he’s several fruity seltzers into the night. wishes all the actors in the movie had been replaced with real cats picked off the street before anything else was approved

played milky white in a scammy local production of into the woods and so so so embarrassed about it. he had to be on stilts the whole show

stuck a fish in regina’s backpack sometime in sophomore year but found karen feeding it and talking to it about her worst fears and greatest dreams felt too guilty to continue with the next phase of his plan (sticking a very hot picture of janis in regina’s backpack) (karen probably would’ve tried to talk to the photo too)

regina

musical specific but i think she didn’t Exactly do a matching animal costume with gretch and karen because 1) what can you dress up as when your friends are going as a cat and a mouse. cheese? 2) had cady not moved into the neighborhood, she’d have gone as a sexy lion to ease into the prospect of. you know. with shane oman but going as a sexy lion when your shiny new homoerotic frenemy has a lion pin on half her clothing isn’t quite a non-questionable choice

had a warrior cats phase she keeps under lock and key in the very depths of her closet. her closet is an iceberg of issues that goes shein -> homosexuality -> warrior cats and climate change is doing a number on it

fried a couple of janis’s ants alive with a magnifying glass sometime before middle school. she’s never flirted normally in her life

the bulk of janis’s furry commission clientele. she has so many emails for alternate accounts that she could get every american president ever suspended from twitter if national security let her. that’s including the dead ones

remember the nigh-rabid chihuahuas damian had. yeah she’s been raising those in secret for a few years now. mrs george doesn’t notice because regina hides them in her hair and extensions are, like, totally in or whatever

had a horse girl phase. all her drawings of horses came out like this meme tho. the art freaks nickname was born out of jealousy

gretchen

chose to be a sexy cat for halloween to match with karen because she has no sense of identity. also because she remembers regina’s warrior cats phase

actually a guinea pig person. i’ve never met a guinea pig person but she feels like one. they’re both in dire need of daily interaction and likely polyamorous

but also peri-canon gretchen could not keep a pet alive she’d spend every cent of the wieners fortune on buying the animal’s love

speaking of. her family bought a stable to fuel “her” horse girl phase. she just wanted to make regina happy and couldn’t stay on a saddle if there was an escalator that plopped her right on the horse

cares about the puppy bowl more than she cares about the superbowl

instinctively pets cute animals. if they bite her then she deserved it

karen

chose to be a sexy mouse for halloween because tom and jerry was having a media marathon and she’s into that sort of power dynamic

believes in unicorns more than she believes in horses. this is because she had a horse girl phase for the hottest of seconds before realizing that none of the ponies at the apache trail sale had horns and thought they had their horns cut off for aesthetic reasons

animals love her so much. survived a jellyfish attack because the jellyfish sensed she just wanted to pet something shiny and absolutely respected that. pests of all shapes and sizes evict themselves stat when karen says her mom doesn’t appreciate her hundred thousand dollar lotions being invaded by peril-bringing insects. strays follow her 24/7. gretchen is jealous (of the animals)

thinks tigers are very sick zebras

thinks blobfish are cuter when they’re all flesh putty out of their natural habitats but would also break into a zoo if she thought the animals were being mistreated

was banned from australia at the age of eight because she tried to have a sleepover in a kangaroo’s pouch

aaron

mean girls insta described him as a golden retriever so i’m also hcing him as being allergic to dogs <3 equality

becomes deeply fearful of all fauna after falling into a research rabbit hole for the sake of connecting with cady. what do you mean buffalo are some of the deadliest beasts on the planet and not just a type of chicken wing

kevin g

a preteen vsco girl in her granola advocacy era stuck in a teenage boy’s body. he has saved more turtles than any natucate volunteer by repurposing his rejected business cards to make a selfie stick long enough to stick him in the same selfie as gretchen wieners. the selfie stick has been in progress since daycare. he has also gone to the hospital more than any natucate volunteer do not trust this man with shop class equipment

[awesomesaucem]

My Tallest

Dib Membrane X Invader Zim

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 5,432

Warnings: Sexual content and mildly dubious consent.

Other Tags: Blow Jobs, Power Dynamics, Dom/sub, Master/Servant, Angst

Summary:  It’s Summer. Normally this meant Zim wasn’t quite as angry at the world, but this summer’s heat was particularly unforgiving. Sticky and miserable, he contemplates his place in the world since his long abandoned mission leaves him feeling empty. What else is there to do but look for a sense of purpose?

Read it on AO3!

A/n: Here’s my shameful idea I’ve had for a while now since I’m still rusty with writing and a total newbie when it comes to writing smut. I have a bunch of one shots planned for a bunch of fandoms that I think would be great practice for my slow burn. I tried to keep things close to the canon with my own little creative liberties. Takes place way after the show so both boys are adults and Zim has not-quite-defected from the Tallests. More like was abandoned and doesn’t know what to do other than assimilate into human culture. Enjoy!

Usually summer was Zim’s favorite out of all of the stupid earth seasons. Spring was always so wet and disgusting with new pollen coating everything and a thin layer of yellow grime that made him sneeze for days. Winter just made the whole planet sleepy. Humans somehow didn’t inherit the ability to hibernate alongside their mammalian counterparts – actually it seemed almost all animals in earth's nature slept for the winter months, except for humans. Unfortunately for him, that meant he was forced to spend the same insufferable months indoors. Any task outside would leave him half-frozen and trapped with a dozen humans in whatever errand demanded his attention. GIR and his circuits loved the snow. The powdery flourish that rained down from the clouds always got a more illicit reaction than their warmer counterparts. It was always a struggle to drag him back inside but at least the cold did him some good. Fall was tolerable. Summer heat paved the way for hayrides and Halloween when they would run around hoping to scare each other intentionally either from works of fiction or simply screaming in each other's faces. It was nice for Zim to take a break from it for a change. These were all acceptable. The bitter winds that would cut through with no warning and chilling him to the bone only to vanish suddenly as it appeared, were not.

Most of earth's weather came and left without any sort of reason. Location mattered most of the time-down to even states and provinces deferring in climate, but it rarely obeyed the rules humans made themselves. The heat was biting long before the calendar said it was ever time, and Zim learned from all his years spent on the pathetic rock that it would stay long after the next season was falsely announced. Even summer, Zim’s favorite among the seasons, had its faults. The insects he once hoped to relate to became most insufferable. Wasps, ants, and mosquitoes seemed to target him especially no matter the crowd or repellent almost as if they saw him as a threat. Maybe they did. Zim could be very threatening.

Today, however, he did not care very much for summer. Usually content in taking GIR for a walk or sightseeing, he was rewarded with suffocating humidity that left him sticky and sweating with no hope of relief. With the air conditioning as high as it would go and every fan in the house turned directly to him, he dozed on the sofa fanning himself. The heat almost stole his energy as even the lazy flicking of his wrist tired him out. Maybe his brain was slowly cooking. He’ll accept anything to get out of this heat. GIR somehow didn’t seem to notice the misery and was fairly content making noises into the box fan sending mushy chips and cheese breath directly into Zim’s face.

“GIR, can you find literally anything else to do right now?” He begged, not even able to turn his head to the side and speak to him directly.

The only response he received was GIR chanting “wawawa“ in various pitches and giggling at the distortion caused by the spinning blades.

He opened his mouth to spout yet another pathetic plea to his servant, but was interrupted by his phone buzzing from where it was wedged in between the cushions. Cursing, he scrambled to retrieve it from the prison followed by crumbs of every kind. God, how long has that stuff been here? He really needed to clean this thing more often. Not even bothering to look at the screen, he answered-only one human had this number after all.

“Greetings, Dib – stink,” he groaned.

“Get dressed, I’m at the pool!” Was loudly heard over the joyous laughter and splashing of the town’s children enjoying their summer. Disgusting.

“Why would I do that, pig?” With shut eyes, he questioned. A bead of sweat reached his temple.

“Because it’s hot as balls out today?” Correct. “And the heat index is 107.”  Ugh. It was 102 this morning. “Plus you’re bored so hurry up!”

“You don’t know that. I could be busy, you know!” Flecks of mechanical fluids fluttered out from the fan. Looking at him just made him spit harder. “Very, very busy.” A particularly shrill scream followed by a splash sent Zim’s phone away from his antenna, which was admittedly difficult. All this sweating made the perfect substance to plaster the screen to the side of his face. He grimaced and wiped it on his shirt before holding it just above his cheek. 

“– here already!” Dib shouted over the line.

“What?”

“I said hurry up and get here already!”

The line clicked and the call ended. The smeet hung up! Elongating his spine and reaching out with all limbs to cat stretch he let out a frustrated groan, then swung his legs over the side of the sofa to free himself to stand.

“GIR, put on your disguise. I guess we’re going swimming.”

“Oh wahawa,” sang GIR.

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The city pool was somehow even more crowded than it sounded over the phone. So many humans packed into one place with damp children everywhere you go with Dorito fingers and juice-stained faces. If this was anyone’s idea of fun, they should babysit GIR who loved the pool for that exact reason. Unfortunately, the chlorine messed with his sensors and he kept getting stuck in the jets. Then the city started enforcing their “no dogs” policy-not that they actually followed their stupid rules. Management didn’t understand GIR was much safer here than home alone. Unsupervised. He suppressed a shudder. Zim hated swimming now even more than he did as a smeet back when he was forced to learn as part of his intense military training. Of course water wasn’t used, but something about flailing in a glorified bath with a bunch of strangers just didn’t sound appealing to him. He still managed to pass that portion, just barely, during training. His awkward bobbing-turned-breast stroke only served to keep him from drowning in emergencies and his commander was feeling particularly forgiving that day. Human school wasn’t that much different if he thought about it. At least as a smeet, his arrogance blinded him to the ridicule of his classmates. High school was kinder in the sense he could blend in more. It was more forgiving to his pride than it was to stand out. No longer an awkward teen, he blossomed into an even more awkward adult. At least he was quieter now. 

Dib, however, flourished. His hyperactivity in his boyhood afforded him the energy to seek out a physical outlet. Since Zim’s mission was dismissed, he was no longer a threat to Earth; no longer something to waste time on. Now by day he was a personal trainer and even started his own paranormal investigative podcast. It actually was decently popular – he even had merch with his smug little logo on it. It was pathetic really, but Dib would never know of the T-shirt hiding in the back of Zim’s closet. 

“Zim!” Called a voice somewhere in the sea of people. Squinting, he could just barely make out Dib standing and flailing his arms around. His continued annoyance started to attract attention as everyone here wondered just who this psychopath was. Zim raced over quickly, stepping over pool goers and trying not to slip on the wet concrete until eventually he reached the offender to clamp a hand tightly around his mouth.

“Cease and desist, you cretin!” He hissed. “I did what you asked. Why must you humiliate me in the process?”

Dib laughed as if Zim told a joke which is odd, because he did not. “Lighten up, Zim. It’s summer vacation!” He exclaimed, prying the hand away. Reaching behind him, Dib pulled a can of some beverage and handed it to him. While he didn’t care much for carbonated drinks, alcohol or otherwise, ice clung to the aluminum, providing him some relief from the bitter heat.

“Why is it called summer vacation if the only thing different is the weather?” He asked no one in particular. “I mean you aren’t in school right? What vacation is there to be had? And why not acknowledge the vacations taken in other seasons for that matter?” Dib’s friends all stared at him. Someone might have coughed. For a moment, Zim was the new kid again weaving through much taller crowds trying to pretend to be human. Pretending to be likable; to blend in unsuccessfully. But Dib smiled.

“You’re right, it’s just a day at the pool. But that can be a kind of vacation too, right?”

Grumbling in response, he cracked open the mystery can and tossed back a swig without so much as a glance to the label. Expecting some shitty light beer or seltzer, he was surprised to be drinking some kind of fruity canned cocktail. It was definitely alcoholic, but pleasantly sweet. There was no complaint to be had. In no time at all, he had crushed several of the provided beverages favoring the ‘strawberry-a-rita’ flavor. Whatever that was. He wouldn’t even have registered the time if not for an alarm on his phone reminding him to reapply his skin paste. It took some time to develop it, but he was proud of himself for once. Something that protected him against the sun's harsh rays as well as creating a thin, yet sturdy, hydrophobic layer. To others, it appeared he was just using regular human sunblock. He honestly didn’t even need to reup since he was still firmly seated outside of the water, but he would rather be greasy than literally melting away if he did eventually decide to get in. 

“Zim’s got the right idea,” Dib observed rather loudly from the water, directing everyone’s attention his way once again. “No melanoma for him.” Dib wasn’t one to think too much about his own skin care, but his clients had children who frequented the neighborhood pool and he had to set a good example. 

Wiping the residue on his trunks, he sneered and dipped back into the cooler to retrieve another can ignoring the hoots and whistles clamoring from the pool. They all seemed to be loudly reacting to Dib who must have emerged from the surface. Peeking up, he saw the water and sweat alike that shimmered like fractured light on his dusky skin revealing sinewy muscles that peered through the streams. Zim’s can hissed at the claw sliding to pop its tab.  Further splashing and laughter faded to the back of his mind as the plat plat of Dib’s sodden feet drew nearer. 

“That’s your third one,” he whispered, nodding at the collection of empties on the table.

“You’re counting my drinks? I thought this was ‘Summer Vacation’, was it not?”

“No, nothing like that, I’m just glad you like them. It was between those or Ranch Waters, but I know you don’t like tequila.” 

Zim scrunched his nose. He did not. “It is an adequate poolside beverage,” he muttered into his can.

“Membrane!” Shrieked the lifeguard, pulling them out of their bubble.  “How many times do I have to tell you!” 

The boys followed her pointed gaze as well as that of almost everyone on the South end of the pool. It seemed GIR had found the jets again. 

Dib huffed an annoyed sigh. “And how many times do I have to tell you he’s not my dog?” He shouted across the water, looking expectantly toward Zim who was deflating as the moments went on. 

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The walk to Dibs house was surprisingly comfortable given the circumstances. GIR was rebooting just as he did every other time he’d gotten into too many chemicals and eventually kicked out for the day. That dumb robot never learned. Between the two of them, they reached Dib’s house without a thought, simply walking and talking about nothing in particular and halfway there they took turns carrying (aka dragging) the unconscious bot. Dib was the one to plop him down on the living room couch before heading upstairs to change with Zim following close behind. All things considered, they were each other’s oldest friends which made any amount of self consciousness shrivel up years ago. Even if they didn’t have all six years of gym class together, Zim still spent most Summers on the Membrane couch. Sleeping alone in an empty house got old a lot quicker than he thought. He took his usual perch on his flaking leather desk chair while Dib changed out of his trunks and into a pair of faded blue jeans; both pairs of shoes and socks lay forgotten at the door along with Zim’s wig. Somehow the topic of conversation escalated to whatever diminutive little projects they each had going on. Dib was more than eager to ramble on and on about the latest pre-workout flavor his gym had stocked up on recently. Something or other with berries. Zim wasn’t really paying attention. But then it was his turn in conversation. 

“What about you, Zim?” Dib questioned. “Anything crazy planned for this year?”

“Not really,” Zim answered, occupying himself with the various posters on the wall. Some things really do not change. “Not anymore.” 

He cringed and wished he could retract the words as soon as they left his mouth. Irk was an unspoken off-limits topic between the two of them. Don’t ask, don’t tell as they say. It was just one of those things. Dib knew it was a sore subject, but other than the childish fights they had as kids, he didn’t know much about it as a whole other than his juvenile energy was wasted on it. Years spent chasing and planning used up on a mission that would never come to fruition. After Zim had finally (finally) given up on taking over Earth, he was lost. Without Zim, Dib could redirect his efforts to something more productive. Without Irk, Zim was nothing.

“So what was it like?” Dib pondered aloud, ignoring the inarticulate rule.  They both knew exactly what he meant. 

Zim fiddled with his hoodie strings. “Which part?”

“Oh, all of it I guess. How did it feel to be a part of something bigger than yourself?” Wow. What a question. The Irken Armada was something he thought about every waking moment. He was programmed to. His very reason for being was thanks to his Tallests. Every breath was a gift for the Armada. Every day a reward and a privilege. Existing for the Tallests transcended human emotion; it transcended words. It was unlike anything he could’ve experienced or hoped to experience again. Zim told him this much.

“After a while, you learn you never really were meant to be an individual. Your wants and needs were irrelevant as an Irken. You just become part of the collective,” he stated.

Dib coughed uncomfortably.

“That’s, er, disturbing,” he offered, laughing; sobering up quickly in the silence that followed. “So your whole life has been for someone else?”

“Yes.”

“That's just so horrible! You basically worshiped these people!”

“Yes.” He echoed, looking up with solemn eyes. “The Tallests gave us life, a purpose. Every Irken was sworn to them.” 

“So like,” Dib struggled to understand. “They have omniscience? They literally create life?”

 Zim’s synthetic eyebrows furrowed.

“No, they would put in a request at the smeetery for a number of soldiers,” he thought. “Actually they would put in an order for the request.”

“So someone else did it?” He squished the last drops of water from his hair as he listened. 

“After they were ordered by a Tallest, yes.”

“But then they train the armies then? Or supervised the plans?”

“No, that’s what the generals and war technicians were for.” He huffed with the same air of condescension he would have if he were explaining how a block fits in a square-shaped hole.

“Did they do anything directly?”

“Oh, yes!” His eyes lit up with a distant admiration. “We were allowed to worship them freely and bring them gifts from our missions. Uhm, I was allowed to stand next to them once. It was truly one of the greatest moments of my life.” 

Dib snorted. “Wait, just standing next to your leader, who doesn’t even do anything, was the greatest moment of your life?” He laughed.

“No, I said it was one of the greatest.” He brought up a knee to hug to his chest. “And my Almighty Tallests did plenty. I owe them everything I am.”

Dib couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He always thought of the Irkens as some intense dictatorship but this was more like religion. A cult really. He stood to look at Zim directly.

“You do realize how crazy that sounds right? You’re totally brainwashed.” Zim stood to meet him.

“I am not! The Tallests are the smartest and greatest Irkens which is why they are more than fit to rule!“

“And what makes them so great huh? How did they end up in charge?“

“Well t-they,“ he stammered.

“You really can’t say? Don’t tell me it’s because they’re literally the tallest Irkens.”

He was met with silence.

“Oh my God, you leave leadership up to a height lottery.”

Zim spoke flatly and sternly, almost dangerously offended. “Height among Irken elites is a sign of status. Something akin to your human intelligence quotient points.”

“Well, how tall are these Irken elites? Maybe I could be your ruler, Zim.” Dib puffed his chest and straightened his back. Stepping closer, he towered over him.

“You could never!” Zim spat as he struggled to take in the epic size of the human in front of him. As kids, only Dib's hair gave him a slight height advantage, but now he had a good foot on Zim who’s mouth suddenly had gone dry. “There is more to Irken leadership than height,” he grumbled, standing down and diverting his gaze. Dib, of course, was loving this.

“No really!” He laughed. “How much taller do I have to be to allow you to worship me?” It was meant as a joke. Yet the thoughts being forced into his head were anything but funny. After a beat, Zim genuinely humored him. 

“Since I am no longer a member of the Armada, as horrible as it is, I no longer answer to the Tallests.” He slowly circled Dib, considering his stature among other things. “That being said, you are currently the tallest being I know, so,” he thought, shifting on his toes. “Your current height is sufficient.” 

“Oh my god, really? That’s all it takes?” Dib’s hands went to his hair in disbelief. “Oh man, think of the stupid little rivalry we had before. I just needed to be taller than you!”

“Not taller,” Zim corrected. “Tallest.” Still reeling, giddy, Dib wasn’t paying attention.

“Sorry Zim. I can’t hear you from all the way up here. You’re going to have to speak up,” he snarked, bristling past Zim. 

“Tallest!” He whimpered loudly, casting the room in a blanket of stunned silence. Both boys stared, a flush of muted pink dusting their cheeks.

“I was just kidding, man,” Dib sat down on the bed, taking his turn to look up at the Irken. “I don’t want to rule you, we’re friends.”

“You joke about my reason for life, Dib-filth . You asked a question and I answered. That’s how your stupid human conversations work, right?” His embarrassment quickly turned to anger as he shot his eyes up in defiance.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know–didn’t mean.” He couldn’t find the words, but Zim wouldn’t let him escape so easily. He strode forward to crowd Dib’s space, throwing his hands to the comforter with Dib right in between.

“You didn’t know what, pig? You’ve had 25 stinking, inferior Earth cycles to know exactly what you mean.” Wide-eyed, Dib watched as Zim sunk to the floor at his feet with an impassioned sort of glint in his eyes that was terrifying yet incredibly alluring. This was a look Zim only wore in Dib’s wildest fantasies. One he wasn’t sure was even physically possible for him to wear.

“Then what are you-”

“Silence, you pathetically tall worm. You wanted to know what it takes to rule over Zim and now that you’ve found it, you aren’t satisfied?” He rubbed his cheek on Dib’s knee like a cat marking its scent. “As you stupid humans like to say,” He leaned just enough to eliminate the remaining existing space, forcing Dib to spread his knees further. “You've opened this can of worms, human. Now it’s your turn to lie in it.”

“That’s not – Zim seriously, I was just playing,” Dib stammered, turning a satisfying shade of red as Zim dipped down between his thighs and feigned a gasp of understanding.

“You were playing? Then let’s play, oh Tallest Dib.” His antennae explored to taste the air between them causing him to scoff. “Lie to me if you must. But I promise your pheromones don’t have that luxury.” He pressed further. The liquor-loosened tongue came out of hiding to trace just the hint of outline of Dib’s stiffening cock; a trail of saliva dampening the denim there. Dib flinched. 

“Zim-ah! We don’t have to do this, you don’t actually…” he trails off, mesmerized by the absolute filthy show Zim was putting on nuzzling his half-hard cock in his jeans like it was the only thing he’d ever want. Dib gripped the sheets half terrified and the most turned on he's ever been in his life. 

“Dib,” he groaned, peering up at the human with utter fire. “Soldiers have either succumbed to war or ended their own miserable lives from their Tallests’ absence. Service and loyalty is what I was bred to do and if nothing else,” Dib shivered at the hot breath between his thighs. “I was damn good at it.” 

“What are you trying to say?” He panted. “For now, you are my Tallest.” Dib watched his tongue dart out once again to wet his lips. “That means you tell me what to do. Please.” The waver in his voice affected Dib more than he was comfortable with. Childhood nemesis turned friend and now whatever this was? How would this even work? Alien biology aside, this was horribly wrong and he needs to stop this now before it gets even further out of hand. If it wasn’t too late already. If Zim wanted this half as bad as he was implying, Dib had zero control over the situation, service programming be damned. Dib might be the “Tallest” or whatever, but he knew Zim held all the cards. They both knew. It all came down to who would crack first and Dib had an idea that it would be himself. Trying to formulate a plan became increasingly difficult with the insisting presence at his groin. He can’t say he didn’t try. 

“Z-Zim are you- fuck.” A particularly languid lick with the flat of his tongue broke his concentration. Against his will, Dib was now fully hard and far too gone to stop it. 

“You know, for a Tallest you're not very smart.” He replaced his tongue with his much firmer hands that gripped and squeezed overtop the fabric pulling a shaking whine from his throat. “You act like you don’t want this.” Dib’s hips bucked and stuttered at Zim’s meager ministrations. “You’re already falling apart, look at you!” He laughed. “On Irk you would be the superior mind. Strong willed enough to lead armies who would never give your word a second thought. Mindless obedience at your command, Dib. What will you do with it?”

Dib felt like he was losing his mind. Never in his life did he think he’d ever see Zim on his knees speaking such filthy things. He was barely touching him but here he was; hardly able to string enough words together to form a coherent sentence.

“What will you do?” He repeated. Zims own cheeks were dusted a pink almost as pretty as his words. Together they sat in a sort of silence just considering each other. Zims gaze was unfaltering and Dib finally realized he was expecting an actual answer. He could end this if he wanted. Just a few strong words would put this whole obscure moment behind them. Zim would listen to whatever he said, do whatever he wanted. So what did he want? His confidence found him when he spoke. 

“If you're going to do this, you’re going to do it right.” He releases his white knuckled grip on the sheets and with mindful hands, undoes the fly of his jeans. Zim’s own hands are heedlessly shoved to the side as Dib carefully pulls his cock, angry and blushing, from his boxers to settle directly in his face. Wide eyed, Zim stared up in disbelief but acceptance at both boys seemingly calling each other’s bluffs. “This is what you wanted, right?” He gave himself a few strokes. “To serve? To please?” 

Zim could only nod and stare. 

“Then get on with it. Open up, soldier.”

Obeying, Zim showed off his glistening tongue, sticking out on display along with his blunted teeth. The tint to his cheeks deepened as he opened his mouth wide. He peered up with a look that would appear to anyone else as obedience, but Dib knew better. He was quite familiar with this look. Hiding behind obedience, Dib could make out the barest hint of defiance. Of a challenge. Even in this moment of vulnerability, between the two of them there was a shred of uncertainty. Pushing past his reservations, he fit his fully hard cock against his tongue, giving it a few taps for good measure. 

“You want to serve? You want to be good?”

Zims only response was a hot, breathy moan through his open mouth. 

“Then prove it.”

The last of his resolve crumbled as Zim surged forward enveloping Dib in his mouth; tongue gliding against the hardened flesh. Dib couldn’t help but reach out and shove his head down even further earning him a satisfying choke. Not to be outdone, Zim buried his nose in the dark tuft of hair in front of him and swallowed. 

Bottoming out in Zim’s tight throat, Dib was reduced to a stuttering mess. His canting hips lurched up into the pleasure consuming him as Zim licked and sucked in earnest. The soft keening moans and wet slurping were the only sounds to be heard before Dib had enough. Zim was enjoying this far too much. Roughly, he tore him off with an obscene pop! while they both struggled to catch their breath and his thumb reached out to mop up the string of dribble that clung to his lip. 

“You’re getting sloppy,” he said, stroking himself much easier with the copious amount of slobber Zim insisted on tossing around. 

“‘M sorry,” Zim panted beneath him, following each movement with rapid fascination and splaying his palms flat to his thighs.

“No you aren’t,” he nudged his hips forward into the silken heat before him. Zim had the courtesy to take his time, to savor his instruction. Gently, he urged the head past his swollen lips with a far too generous tongue.  Kitten-licking  proved faultless as he lapped at it, earning a breathless noise from above. Sucking and benevolent, he resumed. With no hands and more intention he hollowed his cheeks and sank down further engulfing him in incandescence. Zim focused on his breathing more than anything. As long as he could keep his throat from spasming, things should be enjoyable for the both of them. The shameless moans and huffs did little to remind him of his task at hand, however. As much as he’d hate to admit, each and every sound ricocheting off the walls made him more and more eager to please. Weary of his teeth, he licked and sucked and sopped up each bead of precum he was awarded as he continued his assignment. If Gaz’s TV wasn’t as loud as it was, the whole house would’ve heard her brother’s undoing in the next room. Mantras of “fuck” and “god, yes” echoed off each surface to chant for their endurance.

Before long, the fire pooling in his gut reached its peak as he came with a roaring groan, holding Zim’s head tightly in place so as to not spill a single precious drop. Ropes upon ropes sputtered down Zim’s throat one after another which he greedily swallowed down like the good little soldier he was. He hummed at the taste which sent vibrating shockwaves up the pulsating shaft causing Dib to flinch away with a hiss. But Zim wasn’t quite done yet; he wasn’t about to let his prey go. With a much softer tongue, he laved at the slit delving inside to retrieve any missed spend- it was his prize to claim and it would not escape him. 

Once satisfied, he released the belt loops he hadn't realized he was holding from his demanding grasp and carefully pulled away from the tender, softening flesh. Flushed, yet level headed, he peered upward at Dib who was nowhere near as coherent. Overheated and overstimulated, he had no choice but to lay back in rapture; encompassed in post-orgasm haze. Never did he think a simple blow job could be that incredible or that Zim would be the creature to give it. That such a being of destruction could also be one of depravity. 

“Was that to your liking, My Tallest?” His voice was gruff with both use and lust as his shoulders heaved, panting. Dib propped himself up on his elbows to at least try to have some semblance of sanity. His hair stuck up in all directions giving him a mockery of a dark halo and his voice came almost as dark. 

“To my liking?” He parroted, dazed. 

Zim stared. 

“You nearly sucked out my soul through my dick and you want to know if you did a good job?” 

Finally sitting all the way up, Dib tucked himself back away, chuckling to himself in disbelief. 

“Yes, Zim. You did a very good job. Your, heh, Tallest is quite impressed.”

Of all the time exchanged, it was this moment that caused Zim to be well and truly bashful. Shoving himself away from the spread knees in front of him, Zim leapt to his feet and tried to compose himself; cheeks cherry reddening at the praise. 

“Of course I did well, pathetic worm-smeet. My superior Irken flesh had to demonstrate a pleasure you would not have found elsewhere.” He tried his best to adjust himself discreetly, but remained just as successful as Dib was at hiding his amusement. “You jest, but I’ve seen the vile ‘pornography’ you watch in your free time, human. I will never understand the appeal of a group of “backdoor sluts” or how there are somehow nine installments.”

 Dib flushed abashedly. “When did you snoop around on my laptop?” He shrieked. 

“Know thy enemy, beast,” he shrugged, unperturbed, moving toward the door. 

“You’re leaving already?” Dib cautiously asked, disappointment evident in his voice. 

“Well, yeah,” he shifted on his toes. “The ritual is over, yes? Am I forgetting something?” He narrows his eyes. “Are you being untruthful about your satisfaction?” 

“No! Nothing like that, I just,” he combs his damp hair out of his face. He really was getting more disgusting by the minute. “You didn’t, you know. Er…” he flounders. 

“Achieve orgasm? No. I didn't. But I don’t understand how that’s relevant.” He toes on his shoes and stuffs his socks into his pocket to deal with later. 

“Would you like to? Usually this sort of thing is mutual.” This time he managed to hide the nervousness in his voice. “Traditionally,” he added. 

It was such a bold question. One Zim was ready to dismiss if it weren’t for the steady ache he felt. He contemplated giving himself over to a Tallest entirely-the pleasure that would hold. The emotional gratification. Was he really about to grant himself such pleasure? 

“No. I’ll be fine.” The air shifted through the open door giving them both the grace to breathe. “Bye, Dib.

Much later in the night, two friends sat alone in their beds biting back urgent moans and painting their sheets and bellies; replaying the events of the evening in their minds until there was nothing left for their bodies to give. Spent and exhausted, they would each stare at their ceilings and think independently together the same refrain they’ve uttered for years:

Tomorrow. 

Tomorrow, I’ll tell him. 

[raichukaiju]

I've been trying almost too hard to make what I what I wanted to say about The Magnus Archives into the perfectly worded eloquent essay, but if I stay on that train of thought then I'll never get anything written, so I'm giving myself permission to make it a bunch of jumbled dot points. It's me writing down my feelings, not a graded essay. It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be out of my head and on the page.

I have put it under a cut though since it's going to get long and I don't want to clog up people's dashes.

Before that though I really have to say thank you to @petticoat-swashbuckler for insisting that I listen to The Magnus Archives in the first place and then for letting me message you my live reactions to almost every episode (some at some truly awful hours), and thank you @jonnywaistcoat and everyone at Rusty Quill for the story you created that will always be a powerful gift and experience that I'll treasure forever~💚

Now Statement Begins let's go~ ⤵️

Never has a character spoken to my heart like Martin Blackwood. I see SO much of myself in him, even - especially - the messy parts. But he grows, he learns to set boundaries and take up space and stand up for himself, even if sometimes it's one-step-forward-two-steps-back sort of thing. But watching that character growth happen, as someone trying so hard with similar issues - it gives me a lot of hope for my own future. Also the fact that he's canonically fat and people celebrate that in fan art means so much, it's really helping me learn to love my body more, seeing this character I'm so close to drawn so often with a body like mine!!

Bouncing off that a bit, Recollection (ep 170) is the first episode that made me truly cry - full on sobbing on the couch, no exaggeration - and also feel a nauseous kind of fear rather than spooked or squicked, because it was so real. I get stuck in that fog too, more than I'd care to admit, and the way those emotions and experiences were layed out in that episode really hit hard. Martin's firm declaration "I am not lonely anymore" is something I'm carrying forward with me as a mantra. I'm not alone, I'm not lonely, I have friends who love me and want to see me get better and even in the thickest of fog, I will find a way out and back to them, back to myself. The temptation to eventually get that quote tattooed somewhere is very strong.

The fact that Jon is canonically asexual still makes my heart swell to bursting to think about - even if it isn't a major part of the story, it still means the world to me to have that representation, especially in a character so dear to my heart

Jon just means so much to me in general. I don't relate to him quite as heavily as I do Martin, but I still see connections. Though mostly when I think about Jon, to me he's my friend. He's my friend and I love him and I trust him and the podcast ending - aside from breaking my heart with what happened - felt like saying a goodbye I wasn't ready for to someone dear to me.

TMA is a story about a lot of things, but a big thing to me is that it's a story about choices. About how even decisions made with good intentions can still have negative consequences, but that doesn't make you a bad person. That making a decision at all can be just as important (if not more-so) as what you end up choosing. That don't have to make all the hard decisions alone. It's definitely something I needed to hear.

I've started slowly working on my fear of ants/swarms thanks to the Corruption episodes, so that's something!! (I did skip half of Pest Control (ep 55) and read the transcript of the rest though, it was making me want to crawl out of my skin. But I listened to Like Ants (ep 184) all the way through so yay for progress)

Speaking of the Fears, I'd absolutely serve the Vast!! Space, the deep sea and giant monsters don't scare me, though I definitely can the horror element in them. But to me, they're fascinating because of all of the potential there, all the beauty to see and learn about!! In that regard, I'm also certainly marked by the Eye - I need to know things! I love learning and researching and there's just so much in the world to discover and I know realistically I can never learn everything, but that doesn't mean I don't want to try. Another friend of mine said I was seeking a "Vastness of Knowledge" when we were talking about it and that's definitely an apt description!!

The existential side of the Vast does scare me though, that idea of cosmic insignificance is terrifying. I definitely agree with what Martin said to Simon - "I think our experience of the universe has value. Even if it disappears forever." - even if we're only here for a short time in the scheme of things, what we do in that time still matters because it's ours, and we still make an impact that ripples out even when we're gone.

It's re-sparked my interest in wanting to write horror (honestly just my desire to write in general) and reminded me how much I genuinely enjoy horror as a genre - it's just something easier for me to consume as a written or audio medium than a visual one, that doesn't mean I don't or can't enjoy it at all! Jonny's manner of storytelling is so compelling, and his descriptions - especially the statements in season five - have really lit a fire in me to up my game and work on my own creations

"Feed it, fearlessly and without hesitation, or it will feed on you" I know Jude Perry was talking literally about feeding the Fears, but this one stuck with me thinking about the idea of working on/with the things that scare me - "feeding" them - rather than letting them consume me. Maybe that doesn't make sense, but in my head it does and it's helpful to me which is the main thing.

Seriously The Magnus Archives has been so good for me in terms of helping me rethink/reframe a lot of my fear, anxiety and trauma. I'm so grateful for that, and even if it's hard to articulate (seriously not sure where to begin explaining it to my psych), it's something special to carry with me and help me push through. Part of me wishes I'd gotten into the show a lot sooner, but at the same time I think it truly came into my life when I needed it most and would get the most from it.

..... Ok once I started writing this was actually easier to get through than I initially thought it would be. I've still got a lot I want to talk about, but most of it would probably just end up being me posting quotes that ruined me and explaining why. But if anyone wants to talk about any aspect of TMA with me, please drop into my inbox!!! I'm usually better at answering questions than I am being left to ramble directionless (it's why I like writing essays so much, it's easier to keep focused on what information I'm presenting) and I'm not going to tire of talking about this series any time soon!!!

[otterskin]

Father's Day - Is Odin a Good or Bad Dad? - Odin in Fandom

Sequel to this Post here. To sum up - Odin is often misinterpreted in the Thor films, so I went through all his major scenes and broke down his actions and put them into context. I also talked about how Odin as a character struggles to be seen as a person outside the iconoclastic figure he is to just about everyone in the story, including the audience. Which leads directly into...

Odin in Fandom

One of the many things driving me to write this ridiculously long post was just the sheer amount of Odin hate I’ve come across. I used to laugh it off, maybe even contributed with little harmless jokes and comics of my own, but as of late I’ve noticed a truly shocking amount of venom in it. I see words like “abusive”, “toxic”, “worst father ever”, “evil”, “emotional assault”, “abuser”, “bigot”, and, my personal least favourite, “shit father”. These are not terms to throw around lightly. Even jokingly, the sheer amount adds up. Speaking as someone who likes to look for the occasional bit of Odin content on AO3 or in Fan Art, the skew towards the vitriolic is disheartening. If I were to know Odin only from how the fandom depicts him, I would think he was stoic to the point of constipated, except when screaming his head off, I would think he openly encouraged crazy amounts of competition between his kids and ran away from confrontation when they called him on his bad parenting, I would think he was vindictive and cruel and disowned Loki for the giggles. I might even think he was openly physically abusive or neglectful to the point of pretending Loki didn't exist and telling Thor real men don't cry. I wish this was exaggeration, but I got all of this on my dash in a SINGLE day.

Tags often go ‘BAMF Frigga, EVIL Odin’, or something like that, or have someone substituting who can do the ‘correct’ parenting and have solved all the problems in the series. No offence to Heimdall, I like the guy, but seeing him as a better father to Loki than Odin? They’ve barely had any screen time together and most of it was antagonistic. Heimdall is even responsible for setting Loki up for a bunch of bad stuff in THOR, though I'm sure he didn't mean it to go as bad it did. You don’t think that this tertiary character who's mostly antagonistic towards Loki can be better father than Odin unless you really, really despise Odin. And don’t get me started on Möbius being the ’therapist dad Loki always needed’. Because I’ve already written that post. (Spoilers, Mobius is also very complex, and he’s not invested in Loki for Loki’s own sake the way Odin is. He is another trickster in his own right, though.)

Why is Odin so despised? Why, in a fandom that spent a decade digging into Loki and Thor’s characterizations, trying to understand their motivations and contexts, all of which relate to Odin’s very closely, has the overwhelming analysis for Odin ended up being ’SHIT. DAD.’ - and little more?

The MCU is a franchise rife with flawed to flat-out abusive fathers, many of whom reflect and refract each other. From Howard Stark's emotional unavailability to Thanos' physical abuse and mental torture to Ego's narcissistic murdering, there's no denying that the influence of paternal figures is one of the main underlying themes of the MCU entire. But you know which father we've seen the most of?

Odin has appeared in three films in a major secondary role, and is referenced or invoked in three Avengers films and in the Loki TV series. No other father has gotten that much oxygen. (Although Hank Pym will probably outpace him with Ant-Man 3 - it should come as no surprise that I also find that 'flawed father' fascinating, too.)

Thanks to that, we’ve had a chance to see multiple sides to him. Odin has been vulnerable and afraid, angry and heartbroken, performing grand actions and at a loss for what to do or say. We've seen his relationship with his children change drastically from film to film, seen them come to understand Odin in new context, and redefine themselves against him. It's hard to boil that relationship down. Or it should be.

But no. Guys, he’s just a

SHIT. DAD.

So let’s lump him in with Thanos, with Ego, with Frollo and Mother Gothel, with real-life abusers. He's a narcissist who suffers from black-and-white thinking (despite enormous evidence to the contrary - the man is literally defined by his gray thinking). Let’s claim that he was disgusted by Loki, too hard on Thor, he’s an inhuman monster who actually adopted Loki to make Thor better. Yes, he deliberately set up Loki to fail, he always wanted him to screw up, he always wanted Thor to someday overcome him or maybe straight-up kill him to make him into a tougher 'man'. That was the plan, guys! He’s diabolical and Machiavellian and it is Loki who suffers most from his obvious favoritism and gaslighting!! ODIN IS TRYING TO KILL HIM! (Seriously, I can show receipts for every single one of these opinions. I’m not making this up.) Why is the fantasy of Odin being far worse than he is so much more popular than speculative stories about a better Odin? Why is he flattened into a caricature of an abusive tyrant while every other character is given every benefit of the doubt, has their every breath and eyebrow twitch analyzed for greater depth?

Why is Odin afforded no empathy?

Because he’s a secondary character? Because he’s a king, old, white and male and we see those characteristics as meaning someone is too powerful to be worth sympathy? Of those traits, it is mostly the 'old' that must be disqualifying though, seeing as Thor and Loki are princes played by male Caucasian actors. Is it because most fans online and in the target demo are closer to Thor and Loki's age and thus find it easier to empathize with them? Are the old more unworthy of sympathy? Is it that the old don't merit redemption because they're 'running out of time'? Or is it that people feel Odin should pay for his crimes at this end stage of his life? And what of those crimes? Yes, he is depicted as an imperialist, and a political con-man, if you will. But we've had similar in the MCU. Tony Stark embodies the Military Industrial Complex, and even though he had a heel-face-turn (like Odin did) and tried to do more peaceable work, he still held on to his power and ill-gotten wealth (like Odin did) while using propaganda to change people's opinion of him. And yet most people love Tony. Likewise, Loki himself is often shown as an imperialist attempting to carry out genocide and brutal takeovers, but we similarly still understand him as a character outside of that allegory. Same to Thor, who is also shown as late as Ragnarok as carrying out acts of imperialism (just ask Surtur and his eyebrow).

It's also worth noting that Odin is a link in a chain of imperialism that goes back at least as far as Bor and probably further to Buri (Bor could be said to be similar to Howard Stark, even). And yet Odin did manage to realize the system he was a part of and contributed to was flawed, and he did eventually challenge it and seek to alter it. He went so far as imprisoning a loved one as a part of that. No, he wasn't quite a revolutionary, he didn't dismantle the monarchy or anything like that. But he did pursue non-violent peace as a priority and created art praising peacecraft and harmony that contrasted with older statues that venerated chiefly warriors and individuals of power. He encouraged non-violence in his children, even if imperfectly, despite living in a society that glorified violence. He did adopt a child of his people's ancestral enemies in the hopes of fostering understanding - something that was unimaginable by Asgardian custom. Maybe he didn't go about it in the best way possible to our human and modern lenses, but he's far from a straight-up blackhearted villain - he is a morally gray character who underwent a redemption arc long before our story began, and exists as an imperfect man trying his best to be better and finding that a very hard thing to do. To make him only a metaphor for our real-world imperialism and allow him no character beyond that is stifling, and if the same were done to the other characters it would be rightfully called out as reductionist.

Has Odin become become the stand-in for something else, a deep rage for some other trauma? Is he the failures of previous generations that have caused environmental disaster, parents who failed their own children in some way? Is he History, and learning that your country’s hands aren’t as clean as you thought they were and you are the recipient of wealth gotten from imperialism?  Is he the authority figure teenagers like to rage against as part of growing up, ’The Man’ as it were? Is he the Patriarchy? Is he a grown-up that you once revered and then discovered flaws in that you have trouble reconciling with your previous image of them?

Is he someone ’safe to hate’?

Is this ’SHIT. DAD.’ really even allowed to just be Thor and Loki’s father, let alone a character with human emotion and individual identity, when he must be the symbol for all that and nothing else?

And is that a healthy thing? To evacuate our rage on something that doesn’t truly represent what we want it to represent? To try and resolve some inner conflict through a representational avatar that we demonize into an easily loathed target?

...yeah. I think the THOR films themselves are against that notion.

Part of the reason I wrote such an ungodly long first post was to walk through nearly every second of screentime Odin had (rewatching the films with a specific attention on Odin alone as I did so) and truly separate this iteration of Odin from everything Fandom had tried to turn him into. Even I found myself realizing that some scenes had been long misconstrued and that I'd had the wrong idea about their context and possible interpretations. The Fandom even pushed ME, someone who hasn't really engaged with it much until recently, into having a far harsher opinion of Odin than I would have off just the text of the films alone.

That's not to say Odin is a beacon of goodness. He is...well, complicated. But that's what makes him fun and interesting in the same way Loki is. It's no accident that two characters mirror each other constantly throughout the story, as well as Odin and Thor. All three can be seen as former villains who are on long redemption arcs. It hurts my soul that while Loki is embraced as a misunderstood, lovable scamp and queer icon, Odin is dismissed as 'EVIL' or at the very least, incompetent and emotionally void. That's simply not the character who is depicted on screen and the one who is there gives so much more depth to the story AND to Thor and Loki. Making him into a bugbear abuser is such a disservice to the writing, to Anthony Hopkins' wonderful portrayal, to the directors and to the acting and writing of Thor and Loki, who based so much of their own characterization off of Hopkins' Odin, since he is so central to the story.

"But but but - he can be a complex, nuanced character and still a SHIT DAD, right?"

Alright. Let's do this. Once and for all, let's get a verdict. Is Odin a SHIT DAD? Judge Otterskin presiding. All rise...

Odin as a Parent - Judgement Day

(Okay but I did laugh at that meme)

First off, define “father”.

Fathers mean different things to different people, obviously. Expectations for what makes a good father have changed from culture to culture, century to century, even within our own lifetimes. Heck, back in the 50s, being a strong man who provided for the family and who ‘knew best’ was the ideal father. A man was king of his house and all that. He kept his daughters respectable and his sons on the straight and narrow, maybe telling them how to be men and not cry too much. Thank god that's going out of fashion, although sadly it still lingers in many parts of the world, some of them very close to home. In general, though, these day we tend to elevate more empathetic fathers who spend a lot of time with the kids and around the home, who express their emotions openly and communicate well with their partners. It is also no longer so heteronormative, with two-father households and other living arrangements achieving acceptance. Who knows what it will be twenty or thirty years from now - hopefully even better. Fingers crossed for Paternity Leave getting protection, and changes to law and lawmaking that often dismiss men and fathers as inherently less capable of childcare than mothers or women. It would be nice to see more men present in child-caring professions as well, such as early education, midwifery, nursing, and elementary school teachers, where they are currently still facing pressure to transfer to other careers.

Putting aside modern-day Midgard, what of our fictional Asgard, conglomerate of Norse, English, and Roman ideals in a space world of fantasy physics? How do we judge a father from another realm?

Do we hold him to our current standard? By Asgard's? By his own opinion? By the mother of his children? Or by his children’s? 

Our current standards are ignorant of most of Asgardian culture and context. We’ve no definitive answer as to what the expectations of fatherhood were in Asgard in Odin’s time, no idea even of what his own relationship to his father was. (Although I'm having some fun exploring the concept). That doesn't mean we can't still talk about our thoughts on the matter, as he was written by our culture and in our time, although influenced also by past ones. But I would say it's unfair to ask that he meet our current modern-day ideal when his society lacks so much of what made that possible for us.

What we do know about Asgard is that it is patriarchal. Women can become warriors, but not as easily as men. The names of the people - Son of Bor, Son of Odin, Daughter of etc. - indicate a large emphasis on inheritance and legacy. Who your father is and who his father was is very important to your social standing and your identity. It is likely that if a father soils his reputation, he soils the reputation of his children. Being All-Father, Odin has the additional weight of upholding the reputation of all of Asgard.

It's likely that to be considered a good father, you also need to be considered an ideal man, given that Asgard is covered in iconography of heroes literally holding the city up. Being an ideal man is likely synonymous with being victorious warrior able to defend your home and hearth, probably maintain good social standing and marry a good woman. Presumably, having great children whose actions reflect well on you is probably an important qualifier for being considered a good father too. The metric for whether your children are ‘great’ is likely how well they conform to those ideals of manhood/womanhood.

Are those healthy concepts to determine fatherhood? Are they healthy concepts to determine manhood? Probably not, to be honest. We see how these huge expectations and sexist separations are damaging to several of our Asgardian characters. Sif, who struggles to be respected as a warrior and a lady. And most notably Thor, who has the additional pressures of kinghood thrust upon him and feels stifled by the enormity of what’s required of him - goodness, humility, wisdom, but also incredible strength, charisma, and warrior abilities. Eventually, it breaks him. Notably, it is Frigga who excuses him from these expectations and tells him to find his own path outside of Asgard’s expectations of both him and, in byline, the masculine ideals he has striven to embody. (I do appreciate how Rocket’s attempts to get Thor to ‘man up’ are so summarily dismissed by the film as ineffective, cruel, and harmful, while Frigga’s maternal warmth is upheld as heroic and necessary - Thor is not mocked by the film for ‘running crying to his mother’, but congratulated and rewarded with new purpose and self-assurance. Such a nice scene.)

But they are the expectations Odin is operating under, and likely the expectations that his father operated under as well. That’s not to say Odin’s opinions of what makes a good father align entirely with Asgard’s - he does subvert several of those ‘tenets’ by chiding Thor’s warlike behaviour rather than encouraging it, and by adopting a child not of his own blood or even species, subverting the singular emphasis placed on legacy as something handed down bloodlines with emphasis on who begot who.

As for Odin’s own opinion, he would probably say he failed to be a good father - although certainly he was trying to be a good one. He considers himself to have failed in THOR twice over - before he banished Thor, he seemed deeply upset that he had failed to teach Thor empathy and control over his anger. Later, after Loki's death, he struggles with Thor calling him a good father. In Thor 2, he's directly antagonistic to both his children, pushing them away (and towards Frigga), which would seem a reaction to him feeling like he's not good at parenting and angrily giving up on it. Frigga's death complicates this further. Finally, in Thor 3, he straight-up says that he feels he failed his sons, at least in relation to the coming of Hela. (A deleted scene does have him more explicitly say that he feels he failed as a father). As for Hela, I'd bet Odin considers his parenting lacking there too, and he certainly seems regretful of how their relationship turned out.

If you're looking for the biggest Odin-anti-stan, Odin himself is probably the club founder. Although I think he'd reject the harsher statements many members would make. For a start, I think Odin would say he was proud of Thor and Loki and how they turned out - especially since he was trying very, very hard to help them be different from himself in key areas. He got them on the path to redemption a lot earlier than he himself realized he needed to change. That's something I think he'd point to and rightly so.

As for his children's opinions...

Hela is obviously highly critical of the current 'namby-pamby-nice' Odin, but her obvious devotion and veneration of Odin's past image and her partnership with him (up to and including her wearing a helmet styled after his) indicate that at some point she thought highly of him as a father and as someone to emulate. Actually, she still does, she just prefers 'her Odin' to 'Thor and Loki's Odin'. Odin's death brings her no misery, as to her, Odin died a long time ago. She does immediately put his picture back up when she takes over Asgard though, and won't stop talking about how awesome he used to be.

Thor is on paper as expressing veneration for Odin's parenting in THOR, and although he is thrown for an absolute loop in Ragnarok, he takes Odin's death very hard and spends the whole film in mourning. Even after learning some dark truths about Odin, he embraces a resemblance to him with an eyepatch, quotes his wisdom, and honours his father's wishes to forgive Loki and make him a part of building New Asgard in Norway. It would seem from what we know of Love and Thunder that he participated in building a shrine to Odin at the spot of his death, making Odin an integral part of his New Asgard foundations. I think Thor would probably still say Odin was a good father, but he definitely would have liked to have a LITTLE MORE WARNING. Still, I think Thor holds his father's lessons in high esteem and is grateful that Odin banished him to Earth when he did. That is how he met Jane and had the major change in perspective he sorely needed. No-one else but Odin could have given him that, and it was integral to making Thor the man he is now.

As for Loki, there is no other child quite as devoted to Odin as he is. While Odin affects the motivations of his other children, Odin IS Loki's motivation through the entire Thor trilogy. Whether it's proving his love and devotion to Odin in THOR or usurping his father's image to literally become Odin in TDW or creating a whole gosh-darn play in Ragnarok so he can depict a mutual-saviour-relationship with him that makes Loki feel like a good son with an important role in his father's life, Loki exhibits near obsession with Odin and being like him. In the films, Loki's arc concludes with an emphasis on him taking back his father's name after previously rejecting him as a father. However, he never admits to hating Odin, and his actions show a continued fascination with Odin even when they were at the most estranged. Even in the Loki TV series, when he was at the height of anti-Odin sentiment, he's distraught to see Odin's death and considers his words meaningful. A short while later, he even naturally calls Odin his father again in conversation with Mobius. I can't imagine Loki, when all is said and done, truly dismissing Odin as a bad father. He reveres him too much. That play in Ragnarok is a direct window into Loki's mind, and in it, he gives Odin a position of reverence - literally the last the speak, the one to define Loki's life. A false-Odin talking to a false-Odin, Loki's written Odin performing for Loki disguised as Odin. The wish-fulfillment aspect of the play positions him and Odin as incredibly close and in mutual admiration of each other, and that is likely what Loki wanted most - a more open and honest relationship with Odin, not a severance. If Odin had lived longer, he might've had it, but even as things were Loki grieved Odin, honoured him in death, and felt assured that his father wanted him no matter what, even after he brought Thanos down on the Ark. He was that assured of Odin's love.

But these are the kids, and they're probably horribly biased. After all, they're inside this tornado, and a lot of what they love about Odin are traits we'd consider less than ideal. It's natural for kids to love their parents, no matter how flawed. Even Gamora mourned Thanos, and Thanos mourned Gamora, right?

So when all else fails in trying to define what makes a good father, let's use the Tom Hiddleston approach and look it up in the dictionary.

father | ˈfɑːðə | noun

1 a man in relation to his child or children: how like your father you are | the art collection was bequeathed to him by his adoptive father. • a male animal in relation to its offspring. • (fathers) literary ancestors. • an important male figure in the origin and early history of something: he's held to be the father of abstract art. • a man who provides care and protection: the prince is widely regarded as the father of the nation. • (the Father) (in Christian belief) the first person of the Trinity; God. • (Father) used as a title of respect for an old and venerable man or for something personified as such a man: Father Thames. ~ Okay, there’s no Webster definition for ‘good’ or ‘bad father’, obviously, so we’ll have to go with the basic one. Obviously Odin was the biological father of Hela and Thor and the adoptive one of Loki, hopefully no-one is contesting that. (Some people are absolutely contesting that, going by the utter exuberance I've seen from people celebrating the change from Loki Odinson to Loki Laufeyson in the TV series...but that's a whole other thing.) I think we can also say that, for good or ill, he certainly fits the bill as ‘an important male figure in the origin’ of his children - Thor, Loki and Hela all resemble him, in appearance and behaviour. It is no accident that Odin wears a helm that it is combination of Thor and Loki’s, and one identical to that Hela. In the previous ridiculously long piece, I hope the similarities between how Odin approaches life and how Thor and Loki do have been striking. Is it that they intentionally imitate him, or is it subconscious mirroring? Is it genetic or cultural? In any case - a lot of the traits we enjoy in Thor and Loki are present in Odin and likely had their origins there, good and ill. He is definitely all three children's father. This is probably what people would select from this as the definition of a good father, though - a man who provides care and protection.

Is Odin a good nurturer? A good teacher? A good protector?

Certainly he tries to be these things. He tried to teach Thor important lessons, tried to assure Loki. Tried to compliment them both and nurture them into better people.

But, by his own admission, he did fail to protect his children, usually because he wished to protect their innocence/maintain their ignorance. And that didn't really work out. 

He couldn’t 'protect Loki from the truth', he unleashed Hela for them to deal with after only a minute's warning, and his attempt to teach them lessons often involved putting them in danger. As for Hela, he tried to teach her and change her ways but couldn't, and so he put the protection of others above his protection of her and caged her away.

A lot of people have said he’s an absolute failure at showing care next to Frigga. And yes, I’d agree Frigga was better at showing affection, but she operated under different pressures and expectations, in part because Odin shouldered nearly all of the disciplinary actions as well as ruling duties, and in part because the sexism of Asgard probably decreed that she should be the emotionally available and supportive parent while Odin upheld more masculine, stoic ideals. It's notable that the one emotion Odin seems comfortable with expressing is anger, something a lot of men here on Midgard can attest to is the 'acceptable emotion' for men to show.

And yet in our very short time with Odin in the MCU, we see a lot of emotional range from the guy beyond that, and the anger is often layered in other emotions, such as guilt and sorrow. He cries in THOR and TDW. He's depicted as vulnerable, tender, unsure and pensive, as well as righteous, disappointed, afraid.  He puts on a cruel act to antagonize, he puts on an act of strength when he's falling-down weak, and sometimes he can’t hide his frailty at all. He's vengeful, forgiving, outraged, nonplussed, judgemental, proud, penitent, and most commonly of all, grieving.

He does show many of these emotions to his children, if not the larger court, even if it's not as obvious as the shouty bits. And he does show them care - physical and emotional. He holds their hands as children, he attempts to reach out to them as adults, he offers them praise and he forgives them when they harm him. I’d say that meets some minimum of care. There is also one other thing Odin does I think is worth mentioning.

He breaks out the big L word.

Uh...no, Scott.

Which many stuffy British fathers absolutely can’t manage even to this day, since all explicit emotion is outlawed for men over the age of 29 in the UK. It’s absolutely true, trust me, don’t look up. You feel it’s true, don’t you?

While to some this may seem like a last-ditch thing, something Odin didn’t say until he was dying, let’s not forget all this:

In which Odin references it as the ultimate reason for Thor’s banishment, indicating the weight Odin puts on family and the word ‘love’ itself (additionally, the shot after this frames Loki between Odin and Thor, indicating Loki as the specific ‘loved one betrayed’.)

That weight Odin puts on the expression of Love is challenged by Loki in the Vault -

- but this also confirms that Odin has ‘claimed to Love’ Loki and Loki does perceive it that way, even if he doubts its sincerity in this moment and struggles to reconcile the notion of a father that loves him with one that shares no blood with him. His actions throughout the movie are meant to solidify that bond he feels is threatened - both by proving his love to Odin, and ensuring Odin loves him when Loki ‘saves his life’ - a plan doomed to failure in more ways than one. (But there again is that desire Loki’s always had to be a saviour of Odin, to equalize their relationship).

At the end of the film, Loki perceives Odin’s distraught ‘No, Loki’ as a rejection of Loki’s love, and his actions thereafter can be seen as something of a test of Odin’s love for him (I would mention that this hearkens back to Edmund in King Lear, who felt the need to test his father’s trust and forgiveness. Gloucester failed his test, Odin does not fail his, though it takes several films and a much greater challenge to prove.) The moment Loki hears that Odin loves him even after all Loki did to Odin, he is reassured that Odin was telling the truth in ‘claiming to love him’ and accepts it, in two different realities. Test passed.

Despite what some people see as coldness or distance from Odin, the man has been direct in talking about Love, and in showing it, even if at times he had a very odd way of going about it.

By my own admission, Love is not enough to be a good parent, and it doesn’t excuse bad actions. But it’s certainly a major ingredient in being a good parent. You can have everything else, but without love, it is perfunctory. With love, I think, a lot of things can go wrong and a family can still hang together. Not always, but a lot of the time.

On the subject of Adoption

I feel it’s important to mention this. This is a very real-world issue, and complex enough that it probably deserves its own post. I’d add that I am not a member of the adoption community, just an outsider looking in who has done reading on the subject and read the testimonials of many adoptees, foster parents, and adoptive parents, as I’ve long harboured an interest in adoption and have tried to educate myself on it for a very long time. Everything I’m going to say is second-hand info and I do recommend reading the work of adoptees and adoptive parents for more information on real-world adoption and its myriad angles. Loki is what would be called an LDA - late-discovery adoptee. That used to be a lot more common than it is now. The conventional wisdom even just a couple decades ago was that keeping adoption a secret was the best way to integrate a child - that knowing they were adopted would cause them to always feel like outsiders and cause them to be bullied and treated differently. Some families could keep the secret, but what was more likely was that the truth did eventually come out - when dealing with a medical condition, or applying for a passport, or doing a project on genealogy, or someone just letting it slip. And then you’d have an LDA, reeling from having their entire identity shaken, from realizing that important truths in their life had been kept from them by those meant to have their best interests at heart. The possibility of what their lives might’ve been like, the loss of control over their narrative, the realization that their biological reality is not reflected around them tended to be utterly devastating. This, and research into adoption outcomes, helped push in the modern approach of mandating Open Adoption in all but a very few cases (and in those cases, Closed Adoptions, it’s more that the biological family isn’t allowed to contact the child for the child’s own safety, not that the child doesn’t know they’re adopted). Other evolutions in how adoption is handled are still happening - international adoption is now relatively rare, a larger emphasis is put on keeping families together and creating community support, and adoptions that were legally closed are now being challenged so adoptees have the right to their stories. No doubt as we continue to try and do better and learn how to deal with adoption trauma, we will look back on what’s happening even today with horror. There’s still a long way to go and in my opinion the rights of children are still often a lower priority than the rights of parents, both birth and adoptive, although there’s flaws in how birth families and adoptive families are treated as well. There are many mistakes adoptive parents make that are relevant to our discussion of Odin: Seeing themselves as saviours.

Many adoptees resent feeling like biological children are ‘owed’ their place in the family, while adoptive children are ‘lucky’ or ’saved’ and must be grateful. However, this is not the opinion of all adoptees - like any group, they aren’t a monolith, and some feel that they have a ‘mutual’ bond, and that it is OK to feel grateful for a good parent, since a biological child can’t be guaranteed a good parent either and many biological children are grateful for their parents. I’ve heard some express that they like to see it as a ‘mutual saving’, where both child and parent ‘save each other’.

The real problem tends to be the righteous, often religious types who save children not because they want them, but because they feel it increases their standing in heaven. They tend to not be attentive to their children and instead collect them from their own narcissistic ego and because they were ‘compelled by God’, something that leaves them free to abuse the children because they’re doing such ‘good’.

I’d say that some of this applies to Odin, who prides himself of being Loki’s saviour and even defines himself by it. He can be quite affronted when the righteousness of that action is challenged. However, he doesn’t do it because he feels compelled by a religion and he doesn’t treat Loki as a ticket to veneration by his peers. Further, he doesn’t abuse him and at multiple points empathizes with Loki and his situation, and feels regret at having put him in a difficult spot, so he is capable of recognizing that Loki’s struggles are legitimate.

Thanos seems like a better reflection of the second paragraph, as he collects children for a religious purpose. Odin does not do anything remotely like this.  

Being unprepared for handling adoption trauma.

While not every adoption is considered traumatic, even a child adopted as a baby can and often does manifest a variety of symptoms, from attachment disorders (I will add this is lately being reconsidered and renamed, but this is still a commonly used phrase in the community at time of writing) to separation anxiety to other psychological ailments that can manifest in a host of ‘bad’ behaviour. Just loving a child isn’t enough - and even moving heaven and earth to try and get the best treatment and therapy for a child is no guarantee of a healthy outcomes, either.

Odin appears to have realized that Loki would be traumatized by the revelation of his adoption, and his solution was to conceal the adoption to avoid it (not a great plan). Whether he realized that even a secret adoption had its own traumas, I don’t know, but Frigga tells us that they were concerned that Loki would ‘feel different’, and his first instinct was to assure Loki that he was his son upon Loki’s revelation in the Vault.

He certainly didn’t have Loki going to a therapist, which is the now the arrangement most adoptive families have for their children, regardless of the circumstances of the adoption. That’s a relatively new phenomenon but it’s good to see adoption trauma taken seriously and attempts to give the child a neutral place to explore those feelings outside of the family are important.

Asgard has no therapists that I’m aware of, and it is notable that Loki seems to have no major social group or friends outside of his core family. Neither does Odin for that matter. There isn’t a neutral place or person for Loki to discuss his feelings. Nor does Odin seem to consult with anyone about his handling of the situation.

Failing to honour a child’s cultural roots.

This one is difficult to get right, as many children growing up in a different culture might reject learning their birth culture, and even doing the best you can to make sure there is a lot of education on that culture in the child’s life is no guarantee they won’t still feel alienated from it, or feel alienated having to learn it. Still, it is considered important to have that representation, and to be enthused about making it a part of the child’s life as much as possible. This should include making sure that the child isn’t the only member of their cultural group in their lives. Odin did not honour Loki’s cultural roots, even going so far as to turn him Asgardian. While it’s implied that other parents told their children scary stories about monstrous jotunns (meaning Odin himself didn’t tell them), the main representation for giants in Asgard and in Loki’s life comes from war stories where they are none-too-flatteringly depicted. Odin himself contributes to his, calling Jotunheim a place of ‘cold and darkness’. There’s few depictions of giants in Asgard aside from the Odin-commissioned painting of Laufey side-by-side with Odin holding the peace treaty.

Definitely some mixed signals there, maybe even a small attempt by Odin to create a more positive depiction of giants and of Laufey in particular. Hey, they say you should keep albums of the birth family around. I guess that...kinda counts? Right on the ceiling, too...

In other questions, did Laufey model for that? Or did Odin just sneak an artist with a photographic memory into a delegation and had him memorize the face so he could do his big painting? Or maybe Odin even sketched it himself, like Loki wrote his play...pretty good sketch for a guy with no depth perception, and a pretty flattering painting of the guy who’s the reason Odin has no depth perception...

Even if you take the best possible angle on that, it is paltry. Even if Odin wasn’t intentionally putting forward ugly representation of jotunns (and it is worth noting that there’s no statues of Laufey being defeated or twisted ugly drawings of them about Asgard - something Asgard did have previously, and something our human empires had a lot of), he wasn’t really going out of his way to put forward good representation. He appears mostly neutral on the whole thing, other than wanting peace with the giants and treating Laufey in particular with respect. That is sadly ahead of most of the Asgardians, but hardly provides what Loki needed.

In summation, these are no little things, and I would advise anyone considering adoption to spend a lot of time reading up on it. I’ve heard it said that adoption is ‘Parenting on Hard’. It is all the regular difficulties of parenthood multiplied by a thousand uncertainties and changing standards as to what’s considered ‘good adoptive parenting'. Anyone who breezily says they’ll ‘just adopt’ to have kids probably hasn’t looked into it much. It is very difficult to do for good reason, and as our knowledge of it grows, our approaches change. It has been a tremendous shift from the 1950s - now, and even the last decade has brought about huge changes to the system. Five years from now, I expect our understanding to be even more different.

Adoption In Asgard

We don’t know how adoption is considered in Asgard. Is it common? Is it frowned upon? Is it usually secretive?

Asgard is a fantastical society inspired by a mix of the Roman, Egyptian and British Empires, with a splash of its Viking roots. I suppose we could look at those histories, though I don’t think they were anything more than loose inspiration.

Adoption existed amongst Vikings - there was even a sort of fostering system where one family would send a child to another family to foster co-operation and trust between them - which might’ve been an inspiration for Odin and Loki, although it doesn’t quite line up with the story. There were also more secretive ‘closed adoptions’ when high-ranking members of a clan would take children from lower-ranking families and compensate them with gold, but the children were forbidden from seeing the birth families again until late adulthood.

Finally, Rome, Egypt and Britain all did something called ‘hostage taking’ or ‘warding’ - the practice of taking royal children from conquered states and educating them alongside the empire’s own children in order to assimilate them culturally.

The hostages sent to Egypt would be educated in Egyptian culture and society, or ‘Egyptianized’, so to speak. Once these ‘Egyptianized’ princes succeeded their fathers, and returned to their homelands, it was hoped that they would be loyal vassals of the Egyptian state, and increase the influence of Egypt in their lands. We do know that during the New Kingdom, the Egyptians had an institution called the kap or ‘Royal Nursery’. It was here that foreign princes were educated alongside sons of the Egyptian elite.

...

The concept of a ‘Royal Nursery’ for the education of foreign princes was also carried out by the Romans. For the Romans, taking hostages in return for promises of peace from the enemy was seen as an act of clementia, or ‘mercy’. 

- Wu Mingren, The Strategic Use of Hostages in the Ancient World

It is also worth noting that these historic tactics have had positive and negative outcomes, as I’m sure you can guess. In some cases, the wards were able to build strong personal relationships with the eventual leaders of Rome/Egypt/Britain, and with that they could ensure better treatment and protection for their homelands, leaning on the affection gained from childhood friendship. Some even went on to become powerful emperors in their own right. (See Herod Agrippa).

At other times...well, some children were horribly abused, enslaved, treated as lesser in every way in an attempt to break their spirits, etc. (See Emperor Valerian, who after his capture by Shapur I, King of Persia, was treated as a human footstool before being gruesomely murdered and his corpse desecrated. Ah, humanity...)

This seems like it might’ve been an influence on the writing of THOR, although since Odin does it clandestinely, and with a purportedly unbeloved son of Laufey, much of the imperialist benefits these ancient kings and hostages had from the arrangement wouldn’t really work. Still, I think the friendship of two children growing up side by side and the understanding that might bring about did occur to him, and he seems to keep them together their entire lives. Loki even says in Ragnarok that it was ‘Odin who brought them together’.

It is, of course, still imperialism, even if Odin’s intentions were much more benevolent than Shapur I. But to his eyes, it is a much more peaceable and potentially egalitarian form of imperialism than Asgard had previously practiced under his older rule and under Bor’s (and possibly Buri’s, though we’ve never seen anything of him yet).

As for general adoption, it seems very rare in Asgard, and adopting a non-Asgardian is probably unheard of, let alone a conveniently-sized jötunn. It’s treated as a shocking revelation by the characters and the story and the word ‘adoption’ is never even used until we get to Avengers.

Knowing Odin and his preference for handling everything himself, he probably didn’t ask around much, instead just hoping everything would work out - perhaps the most common mistake for adoptive parents. He tried to reason and love the problems away, tried to be a good father but not necessarily a good adoptive father - and it’s likely he doesn’t even know about the difference, or want there to be one.

Having read a lot of accounts from adoptees, he reminds me most of someone adopting decades ago, when secrecy really was considered the right thing to do, the trauma of adoptees simply wasn’t recognized, and treating children normally and equally was thought to solve most everything. It doesn’t make his omissions less wrong, but I hope it puts him in context. And I will add, Odin did (eventually) reveal the truth when Loki asked for it. Many stories I’ve read have adoptive parents going to extraordinary lengths to protect their status as the ‘only parent’, often continuing to lie or destroying documentation, etc.

That Odin is unaware of concepts like adoption trauma is probably to be expected of a society like Asgard, although that doesn’t necessarily excuse his actions. Frigga does say she wanted to tell Loki, and Odin was against it - although apparently she agreed with Odin enough that she went along with his wishes to keep it secret.

There are a number of possible reasons Odin might’ve thought this was a good idea, on top of a cultural ignorance as to why it was a bad one. Reasons that don’t exist here on Midgard.

It would still be very traumatic for Loki to know, and to grow up knowing, that he was considered a default enemy to everyone. This is more than just adoption, this is asking a child to be a figurehead for enormous cultural change in a place that hates him. On top of that he’s a member of the Royal Family, a celebrity from birth, so he would be extra exposed and from literally day one of his life. How far would the honesty go? Would all of Asgard know? All the Nine Realms? Wouldn’t that put Loki at risk for assassination? Two different worlds would have reason to want him dead. The enormous psychological trauma of such exposure is nothing to sneeze at, especially to put on a child from birth. And I’m thinking Asgard probably doesn’t have that many therapists. I just don’t see that turning out well either. And even if it wasn’t public - that poses its own problems. Loki would have to be a part of the deception. What if Thor or he let something slip when they were children? What would he hear and take to heart when people discussed these things around him? The trauma is still complex.

But that just brings up the question - was taking Loki at all a good idea? If Odin were to truly want what was best for Loki, what should he have done? Of course, Odin is also king of Asgard - leaving an heir to Jotunheim lying around would be a risk to Asgard in the future. I’m sure most previous kings of Asgard wouldn’t have taken that risk and quietly taken care of it. Certainly what little we know of Bor indicates that he would never have done as Odin did.

Honestly, I don’t see an easy answer.  Maybe he could have sent Loki very, very far away to a space orphanage? But that’s not exactly kind or risk-free to Asgard in itself (long-lost heirs do have a troublesome habit of returning at the worst possible times to lead the rebellion) and it’s still very traumatizing and isolating. Maybe he could have attempted to find the birth mother and reunite Loki with her and keep them as wards in Asgard? But if he truly thought Laufey wanted Loki dead, that paints on a target on the baby. And it requires Loki growing up on a planet that hates him still. And all this time later, we still don’t know who the birth mother was or if she was even a Frost Giant as well - possibly she couldn’t be found.

It seems to me that Odin didn’t really think the action of adopting Loki through at all, and acted impulsively. He saw a cute baby after a horrific war and being seriously maimed, and yeah, he saw that baby as a hope for a peaceful future not only for Jotunheim-Asgard relations, but for himself.

To reiterate from the previous post, Odin placed a hope that he could be a better and more peaceable person onto the action of adopting Loki. He saw adopting Loki as a positive action that defined him. Not exactly healthy, but, I think, something very human. It was a selfish act, though he thinks of it as altruism.

In short - intentions mostly good, but still enacted through an imperialist lens, and he probably shouldn’t have his picture hanging up in any adoption offices. But intentions do count for something, and it’s worth pointing out how complex the moral quandry the whole situation was, which rather suits a character of famously gray morality.

The answer to the question “Why did Odin do it” is probably “because he felt like it and he could” - in a moment of post-battle-fatigue, a moment of hopelessness, Odin did something that wasn’t very calculated, wasn’t thought through, and was entirely based on emotional logic. Logic-logic simply doesn’t hold water when you look at it for five minutes from either direction. But hey - compulsive acts against good sense for the sake of emotional catharsis aren’t uncommon for Thor and Loki. Is it much of a stretch to think Odin has his moments of emotional logic > actual logic?

The Verdict - Is Odin a SHIT DAD?

Phew...well, we’ve had a lot of evidence given here today, and in the previous post.

There’s one thing I can say for certain - Odin tried to be a good father. He was also much more aware of the issues his children had than most in the fandom will give him credit for, tried to address their issues, and when stripped of every other role in his life he kept that one. Some won’t agree with his tactics - certainly the ones in TDW are underhanded, although I hope I’ve convinced you of their complexity - but he never gave up on his kids. No, not even Hela, whom he never killed, and whom he carried with him everywhere.

And when compared to the fully qualified ‘Shit Dads’ in the MCU, it’s clear he doesn’t belong among their number. He doesn’t slaughter his children for not being Celestials like Ego. He doesn’t deliberately pit his children against each other and show clear favoritism towards one like Thanos, and he doesn’t torture them with machines and graft weapons and biotech into their very bodies like he did either. He also didn’t brutally and deliberately massacre Loki’s birth family in order to take him, either.

Even when put against the other dads he doesn’t score badly. He doesn’t wait to tell his children that he loves them until they find it on a moldering film like Howard Stark, but speaks of it often. He does share a lot of traits with Hank Pym, such as over-protectiveness leading to estrangement, difficulty in communicating, and a lot of previous mistakes catching up to him and affecting his children’s lives despite his efforts to keep them secret. Which is something Howard and Tony Stark have done as well.

And while he thought he was doing the right thing, or at least the best thing he could, he did set his kids up for a lot of shocking revelations and traumas in later life as his ability to ‘protect them from the truth’ faded. His tactics and reputation for concealment and subterfuge sabotaged him when he was being genuinely genuine. His inability to be direct often lead to confusion and doubt about his intentions or feelings and further weakened his relationships.

How do we declare his success or failure as a father? We might as well argue about whether or not Thor is a good brother to Loki, or Loki a good brother to Thor - many missteps were made, egos bruised, harsh words said, reconciliations tarnished by violent consequences for past mistakes - same as for Odin and Loki and Odin and Thor. Is Loki loving Thor enough to excuse his betrayal of him? Is Thor loving Loki enough to excuse his misunderstanding and callous derision of Loki? Is Odin loving Thor and Loki enough to excuse his flaws and failures and eccentricities?

What about comparable questions?

Is Thor a shit brother? Is Loki a shit son?

(Doesn’t such a phrase make you cringe? To boil down all their struggles to such a gauche, gross concept? Either total, despicable failure or...what? The question itself is biased.)

And yet you’ll find few in this community writing off Thor or Loki as abusive, terrible, bad people who should be replaced. You’ll find few angry that Loki and Thor still love each other and forgive each other, but you’ll find many who dislike that Loki and Thor care about Odin.

This has all been a very long-winded way of saying that I can't definitely declare Odin a good or bad father. Because being a father is complicated. Because being All-Father is infinitely more so. Because in many ways, we still don’t know the real Odin, and neither do his children. We have a mercurial mess of emotions with the face of Anthony Hopkins, often misrepresented by Fandom. I fear that one day, Marvel will just absorb the zeitgeist opinion of Odin as an evil, abusive man and see that as the canon, rather than the much more complex and ultimately good-intentioned figure from the films they made. It has happened before.

(How appropriate that the term is Flanderization).

But what I can definitely declare is that he is NOT a Shit Dad. Because shit dads don’t care, shit dads are absent, shit dads don’t try, and shit dads are shallow caricatures. He is not waste ejected out a rectum with no value, a smelly mass worth only revulsion and disposal. Odin has value, as an individual, as a father, as a character.

I hereby declare Odin Not-Guilty of the charge of being a shit dad!

To be clear, though, I was looking at the merits of Odin as a father, not Odin as a person. I don’t particularly like standing in judgement of fictional characters as good or evil and think it’s reductionist, but I do think it’s important to separate the two concepts. Flawed men can be good fathers, good fathers can be terrible people (I’d say Odin raising Hela probably fits that contradiction nicely, good dad, terrible man at the time, and when he became a better man he had to be a bad dad for the good of others).

Odin is not supposed to be a purely good person in any incarnation, but nor is he supposed to be irredeemably evil. In the MCU, he’s a manipulator and a liar trying to do the right thing. He’s a conqueror and peace-treaty-maker, the ideal Asgardian warrior who adopted the child of an enemy. Odin, the rule-maker and the rebel. Odin, seeker of solitude, but craving family. Odin, the honourable liar, the trickster king. Odin, loved and hated. Odin - maybe not so bad after all dad? If you’ve read all of this, wow, thanks. I’ve no idea if I’ve managed to change your mind, if you do disagree, but I would ask that maybe as a community we could lessen the torrent of degrading ways we talk about this character. Fiction is about empathy, and empathy for one character doesn’t have to come at the cost of empathy for another. Especially when this one illustrates conflicts many real people face. Please, as a community, let’s step back from extreme, dehumanizing phrases. It’s not good for us, as people, to look at constructs of people and condemn them as worthless, especially when fiction is meant to be a safe place to explore the messiness of humanity.

Odin and Me

Finally...I admit some bias in wanting to talk about Odin in more complexity.

Odin has long been very important to me, as important as Loki was when I first started reading Norse Myths at the tender of age of (sometime in my single digits). Loki was perhaps the first ‘queer’ character I remember meeting in fiction. But Odin was the other first, as they are a package deal. As a kid who struggled with gender binary being forced upon me and grappling with endless labels, it meant a lot to see Odin, an old man with a big white beard, chieftain of the manliest men to ever manly no less, just give everyone the big middle finger and do what he wanted to do regardless of what people thought was masculine or feminine - and find huge power in disregarding their arbitrary gatekeeping and judgement. Odin might appear hyper-masculine, but he truly wasn’t, even when he sometimes pretended to be. He delighted in subversion, challenged nature, attempted to subvert the destiny of Ragnarok, chose friends regardless of what others thought of them, and was always secure in who he was, even when people thought that was unmanly, womanly, or cowardly. He was powerful despite the mockery. Powerful because he deliberately sought knowledge others decided was beneath them. He wasn’t made of stone, exactly, as he was still a lonely guy with frustrations and flaws, but he was still unapologetically himself.

The God of the Vikings - somehow a ‘genderqueer*’ icon. (*of course I’m not a huge fan of putting modern labels on pagan concepts that exist in a different context and aren’t one-to-one, but...yeah. Yeah he’s a gender-ambivalent-shapeshifting-arsehole-trickster-king).

I’ve also recently gone through a lot with my dad. He suffered a serious brain injury immediately after the death of my mother. He even has to wear an eyepatch sometimes thanks to head injury making one eye’s vision all fuzzy, and he grew a big white beard while in hospital, so I’m not gonna deny that I see the resemblance and realize I put some of my own relationship with my dad into my understanding of Odin as a father. I’ve seen and appreciated my father’s struggles in his life more and more as I got older and realized what he’d been through.

My father is a loving man filled with all sorts of soft emotions, but the immense pressure of his job and its working conditions, and all the expectations put on him as a dad and a man, (in addition to a reaction to a Malaria pill) led to him developing depression when I was a kid. He was always so tired when he came home from work, but he still he tried, really tried, to be a great dad and spend time with us, to teach me and my brother his birth language of French (before it grew too exhausting for him), to encourage us, even if sometimes he said and did things that could be discouraging, out of a fear for our future. There were times when he was closer to me, and times when he was closer to my brother. Sometimes it was just about who happened to be closer in proximity or where we were in our lives, but he always loved us and supported us and never showed favourtism, though at times when we were younger we might think that was the case because he communicated better with one of us. I know I felt like it when my brother got more of his dedicated time and attention, and at the same time my brother felt I was given more favour because he was less hard on me! (Really, it was mostly about schoolwork, which I excelled at and my brother struggled with, so my dad and mom spent a ton of effort trying to help him. Which made him feel overwhelmed and me a little out in the cold. Such is life.)

There were also times when he just couldn’t be as there for us as we wanted and maybe needed, thanks to his own challenges.

It hurts that he can’t speak to me as easily as he used to anymore, due to aphasia and that brain injury, which has also affected his memory. But I do remember the frank conversations we did manage to have in my brief adulthood. His confessions of envy of my mother, for being available to us and able to spend time with us when he had to be devoted to work that was often soul-sucking and left him with little at the end of the day, especially as he grappled with depression that sucked away at his motivation to engage in hobbies. I started to understand a lot of the societal pressures put on my dad that prevented him from expressing his emotions as much as he’d like, until pushed to the brink, which explained some of his angry outbursts when it came to dealing with grief and loss (he could never talk about the loss of his parents without becoming angry that it was even mentioned). I got to understand a lot of myths fed to him as a kid about the proper way to be a man and how he’d tried to negotiate them, the sacrifices of his parents making him afraid of letting them down with anything less than great success, but also his little rebellions against the norms that surrounded him that made him a world traveler in a family of homebodies. He met my mother in a foreign land, a woman who came from a whole different country (and one with traditional tensions with my father’s culture no less). He was the only child to move away from home and live apart from his family, too, even though that meant living in a foreign language and only seeing his family and home on rare occasions.

I am capable of separating that from my interpretation of Odin, but it does grant me insight into what I think the actor and directors were going for with him and the other male characters of THOR. 

I also note the similarities between he and the mythological Odin that help me write Finnesang. It also helps that I grew up with a brother and saw similar pressures and expectations put on him by society, even as my dad tried to lessen the burdens his own father had put on him. My father’s never been anything close to having ‘toxic masculinity’, which I’ve come to deeply appreciate. He has always been protective of my brother, tried to understand his problems, but still tried to push him to do his best and be the best version of himself that he could. That led to conflict on occasion as my brother struggled with his issues and fears of disappointing our dad, especially as he negotiated adolescence and his own depression. They’ve had their ups and downs, sometimes explosive ones, but at the end of the day they love each other very much and have come to rely on each other. Their understanding of one another has increased as my brother matured, on both sides. The passion they inspired in each other was a sign of how much they cared about one another, even if it also allowed fuel for the occasional shouting match. The ability to cause each other pain does not indicate a lack of love - often, love is what makes it possible.

Conflict is not abuse, and I think there’s a worrying trend of people equating the two. Just because two people - or two fictional characters - have miscommunications, make mistakes, or cause each other unintentional or sometimes even intentional pain, does not mean that they are abusive and need to be cut out of each other’s lives. Sometimes it is just a period of change or shifting dynamics. Disruption can lead to anger and disagreement and errors of judgement - but it doesn’t always lead to an end. It can lead to growth, like it did for my father and brother.

And now we’re back to ‘Asgard needs more therapists’.

Pictured: Offbrand Stanley Ipkiss doing a therapy in Son of the Mask, unappreciated classic film I got in a cereal box once.

Whatever Odin means to you, I’d ask that you remember that he means a lot to others. He certainly does to me.

Odin has been appropriated by some pretty scummy people (I’m sure you know of whom I speak), and believe me when I say they straight-up mutilate the character to fit their insanely hateful worldview. I have to say, it straight up sucks to come here to Tumblr and see people putting forward THAT version of Odin. The maimed one, made into a symbol of toxic masculinity, hatred, cruelty, and bigotry. Shouldn’t we be challenging that appropriation?

It wasn’t so long ago that I spoke out endlessly in defence of Loki. Pre-2011, I used to rant to my friends about how I hated Loki, Hades, Anubis, Morgana la Fey, Pan, etc. being portrayed as evil, flattened and maimed until they were unrecognizable, hateful versions of something that was beautiful in the source material. Sometimes I mentioned Odin as among that group, a character often depicted as evil or hyper-masculine without respect for the far more complex character of the pagan religion.

I can’t tell you what it means to see Loki slowly redeemed in pop culture, to see the world catch up with where I’ve been since I met him at that tender, singular age. To see him reclaimed by women, by the queer community, held up as a hero and recontextualized - that has been utterly amazing to witness.

And I can’t tell you how much it sucks to see people who praise Loki in one breath condemn Odin in the same one, to see Odin tarred with the slime we’ve just scraped off Loki. To see them uphold the hateful, spiteful take on Odin that denies him his queerness, his duality, his weirdness and complexity - to agree with those who have been trying to press-gang him into a service as an icon of hate for years.

God’s sakes. Can’t you see? You’ve become what you claim to despise!

Loki is not evil.

Odin is not evil. 

Let characters be gray.

[bringbackwendellvaughn]

What do you think of Miss Marvel being given Quasar's powers in her Disney + show?

I couldn't care less. I don't engage or watch MCU stuff. That flame burnt out fast with me. As a comic reader, I feel once I saw a few MCU movies, I'd seen all they were capable of doing.

With Quasar, they've been doling out ideas or concepts related to him to other things for a while. Ant-Man getting "quantum" stuff like the Quantum Realm, Captain Marvel getting a bunch of lore from Wendell and Mar-Vell because she has no real worthy lore of her own, and now Kamala getting Wendell/Mar-Vell bracelets that make constructs. It's nothing new and it doesn't affect me as I won't watch it.

MCU Spider-Man remains the thing I hate the most. It's not Spider-Man, it's some twerp with none of what makes Spidey great. But people praise it and call it "Spider-Man done right" and that's the thing that makes me hate it more. People lap it up and think it's all great because it's the MCU when as a comic fan I haven't seen them do all that much good with the actual products they put out. They ruin a lot of what I like. Loki butchered Enchantress with a crap composite and had the tenacity to use a character based on Mark Gruenwald with absolutely no real awareness of the character being a tribute to someone. They sometimes cast someone good but usually underuse them. Chris Evans as Captain America is great but they never really did the character well after the first hour of his first movie. Kurt Russell's son as John Walker, would have loved to see them actually do him as Captain America for a while like, y'know, John Walker in the comics. Instead he fell apart and went insane straight away. I am glad they didn't off him or leave him totally disgraced. They even managed to make Thanos worse by robbing him of his unique motivation and totally misreading Silver Surfer #34 when he's trying to make Silver Surfer think he cares about over-population.

I just plain don't like the MCU. I could go on a lot longer but the movies are just something I prefer not to think about. If you like them, you're allowed to like them. I don't and I feel discussing them is pointless because most people are either going to have a bias towards them or are going to hate them for political reasons and call it the woke M-SHE-U. I don't like them as a comic book fan because they are an incredibly poor substitute or unfeeling loose adaptation of the comics that they're based.

[popculturebuffet]

Amphibia Reviews: Toad to Redemption and Maddie and Marcy

Hello all you happy people! And welcome back to my weekly coverage of Amphibia! And today we have a suprisingly important Toadstool episode.. and a MADDIE AND MARCY EPISODE. Guess which one i’m actually excited about. But regradless it’s a good batch this week so join me under the cut for my thoughts with spoilers

Toad to Redemption: A not half bad episode, this one concerns everyone’s faviorite Monopoly Man Fried Chicken Baby, as it turns out he’s finally grown a heart. It turns out the Toad Tower incident.. actually changed him as a person. I’m as shocked as you. I mean he’s still a greedy corrupt hick, you can’t paint a gopher orange and call it a basketball... 

Look i’ts a long story i’m legally barred from talking about. Point is Toadstool is a greedy asshole but one who cares about his consituents now and actually enjoys the town and taking care of it. In return the citzens actually like him now: they may of rightfully tried to vote him out but his genuine attempts at doing good, in this episodes case spending money on potholes instead of a Jacuzzi for him and Toadie and helping fix a falling sign, have made him actually beloved. 

Naturally though, it’s not that easy and a newt comes down to give him the job running Toad Tower, and him refusing it would mean time in prison. Because as if we needed the reminder, The Newt ruling class sucks and so far the only person we’ve seen related to the castle who isn’t either hiding an edltrich demon,  a snob, or some form of hired goon is Marcy, whose blind to all of that. I do wish Marcy was in this episode for that reason, as i’m waiting for her to finally see the downside of the king and the people she’s been working for, but I get why not: it’d make the episode too easy, and distract from the character it’s actually about and to the episodes credit they wrote her out well enough: She’s studying Frobo all day. 

So the Mayor begs Anne, who showed up with a bunch of parking tickets from Hop Pop (And ones from when they were out of town no less), for help. She only ends up agreeing becaue his puppy dog eyes are so ungodly unsettling she just wants it to stop but I presume getting those parking tickets cleared up is part of it. 

So it goes as you’d expect: THe Plantars try to make him look bad, it dosen’t work. Though to Toadstool’s credit despite the hefty punishment he does prepare to tell the newt lady off after she explains Toadie won’t be going with them. You can do a LOT to Toadstool but no one is a condescning bitch to his husband-minon and gets away with it! 

But then the three toads from last season show up, the ones Anne fought, lead by Bog that pointy guy. Look i’ts been almost two years. and felt like 90. The Toads have become Bandit’s since leaving Grime behind, which.. you.. you could’ve done that and had a consistent base of operations and a home in the frog alps. So naturally a fight breaks out but Toadstool bluffs htem to throw them off guard and the town easily fights them off. 

Thankfully Toadstool gets out of things. Jacinda, said newt lady, finds him too soft for the job and puts Bog in charge.... so.. yay? No.. not really no yay here none. So while our heroes goad themselves for yet another enemy on the docket, the town confirm how much they care about Toadstool, Toadstool caresses toady and I die a little on the inside. 

Toad to Redemption is decent. It’s not the best of this half of the season but it does speak to how this half has been far better, with the return to wartwood giving us far more character stuff that had been lacking, and notably focusing more on the side cast. Speaking of whiccchhhhh

Maddie and Marcy Look unless this episode screwed up horribly somehow, this episode already had my good will just by teaming up two of my faviorites: As i’ve made clear Marcy is endlessly relatable to me as an awkward nerd myself and Haley brings her a-game every time. As for Maddie she was an instant faviorite from her first apperance being married off to Sprig, with her spotlight episode “Cursed!” being one of my faviorites of the series thus far, and a generally great one that fleshed her out from a creepy but endearing backgroudn character with sinsiter intent. to a nice if spooky little girl who uses the darkest magics for the greatest goods. 

So the two were a natural to not only get a spotlight together, but also in something the show lampshades one that’s mostly devoid of the main cast. Anne, Sprig and Hop Pop all only show up for quick gags, and the story is entirley around the titular Duo. And safe to say my hype was warranted: This is one of the standouts of the season by a long shot and one of the funniest episodes this season, while giving Maddie even more depth and allowing Marcie to play a supporting roll this go round. 

Maddie is working on her biggest spell yet: to raise the dead. Frankenstein styles. But her sisters keep begging her for attention and eventually get bored and spill her carefully prepared cauldron causing her to snap at them. It is however a nice layered conflict: This is very important to Maddie and rightfully so as this is her first level 2 spell, and she was specifically asked to do it by one of the neighbors. And it’s not like this is something she can half ass... if done right you get frakenweenie if done wrong you get pet semetary. It’s a very fine line. This is her passion, her calling as she puts it later when she explains her backstory. The issue is she treats her sisters like babies and ignores them due to this passion.. it’s fine to have passions but you have to make time for those who matter. I’ts fine she dosen’t spend as much time with her sibs as she used to, juggling them and flashback Maddie is fucking precious... but she has to make some for them. They love her. They have to understand how important this is to her and she has to understand how important she is to them. 

So Maddie skulks off to get get some suplies, and Marcy is impressed as she’s been looking for a magic user and tries introducing herself.. and gets set on fire. But the two quickly bond: Marcie’s been looking for a teacher in magic being a fan of something resembling harry potter... I really feel for this show as i’ts clear the creators were fans from this episode’s tiny shout out to it and the first temple’s bigger one, and they clearly had no idea any of this would happen. None of us did. So we get a bonding montage which is the best scene of the episode and the funniest scene of the season, and very possibly the series, thus far. The two find slime, ticks, a corpse (Or rather hop pop whose annoyed they thought he was a corpse), digging up some graveyard soil next to some confused mourners and best of all “assorted limbs” which while I have the image up front I can’t resist sharing again..

This.. is easily the best thing the series has ever produced. Their just so fucking precious. They also high five each other as new best friends. The triplets though aren’t happy about any of this, not getting that shared intrests are a thing and what not and instead plot to get big. Look there are easier ways to do that: asking zoltar.. or a groovy ant who wants you to do a rap number. 

They instead use one of Maddie’s spells without asking and also vandalize her book because their babies.. she snaps at them again and they plan to grow big. Meanwhile Marcie and her beloved apprentence work on tampering in frog’s domain and successfuly do a necromancy.. only for the now giant sized triplet #1 to bound in.. followed by #’s 2 and 3. Our two heroines run for their lives from the giant babies, and Maddie is panicked as she now realizes what they did.. and that without proper ballance, the spell will cause them to explode. 

So while the triplets grasp with the expansion and inetivible kaboom, Maddie has Marcie prepare an antidote for four.. and goes alll giant man to calm them, juggling them adorably one last time. Peace is restored and Maddie agrees to get a better work life ballance. 

Maddie and Marcy as I said is one of the standout sof the season and easily my faviorite so far, being funny while having great character work, which is when the show’s at it’s best. or dramatic and great character work. either way this one was a treat.

Next Week: Our heroes seek out a second temple, while our anti-heroes seek out a legendary hammer.

[somecunttookmyurl]

gonna need you to elaborate on those 'famous people you've met' tags, queen. like what. what is your life.

god sorry this has probably been here all day but i’ve been belting out chicago songs all morning (the musical not the band) @scimmymunkeh can verify that my life, especially from like 2009-2014 (before i moved to scotland) was like. so weird.

in my misspent youth i travelled around the UK and europe seeing The Horrors just like. so many times. they were cheap enough to follow around on tour and i like travelling so that’s what i did. and i’m sufficiently not weird (lmao, i know right) as a person that i got to know them decently well (mostly rhys, tbf) so a some of it happened from that. side note - this actually gained me an honest to god real life stalker from tumblr who also lived in london and would like... see me out at the weekend and then send me anons about what i was doing? very weird time. anyway.

alex turner & miles kane - would go to cave club (a night ran primarily by rhys monthly) sometimes and because i am, again, not A Weirdo i’d be chilling with them. mostly miles, bc alex is pretty shy actually. but for some reason i truly do not know like don’t ask i have no idea every time miles and i got drunk we’d make plans to... buy... a pig? and raise it together? i think we were going to call it penny or peggy or something idk. quite what our plans were for co-parenting a FUCKING PIG in LONDON when we didn’t even live together were but. we really wanted to get a pig for some reason. technically i’ve also met alexa chung (this was WAY BACK when she was still dating alex) but she was deeply sus of any woman in his vicinity so just. left that one alone.

peaches geldof - was dating/later married a guy called thomas who was in a band called S.C.U.M. that rhys’ little brother was in. due to them being around all the time (also they were good listen to them) thomas and i knew each other. we weren’t friends or anything - mostly i was pals with sammy seven - but knew each other to talk to each other. something peaches apparently had a massive problem with because every time she saw me she’d shoot daggers at me across the room like oh my GOD i cannot express enough that i’m not interested in tom. chill. anyway she’s dead now.

i forgot about bobby gilespie (primal scream) and lou hayter (new young pony club) who also used to hang out at the cave.

adam ant - the first time i met him was at a 60s night. like literally an event called ‘le beat bespoke’. he was just... there? for some reason? i dunno. had a drink and a smoke with him. nice man. LITERALLY 2 weeks later on my actual 20th birthday i was at a night called ‘stay beautiful’ which was a heavily-manics-inspired regular event ran by music journalist simon price... adam ant turned up and did a ranom guerilla performance. which??? anyway he recognised me and we hung out for a bit again. he was VERY manic and off his meds at the time (adam ant is bipolar). invited me back to his hotel, nudge nudge wink, but uh. did not do that. as funny as “i boned adam ant once” would be as a story in my life............... no. dude’s old enough to be my dad. haven’t seen him since, just weird that it happened twice so close together in a city of 9 million people.

damon albarn - there was a very bizarre period of maybe 3-4 months where every time i went out i bumped into damon. like literally. every event i attended he was there. again, city of 9 million people, and we lived on opposite sides of it. permanently drunk, and asked me for a lighter every single time he saw me even though (at the time) i wasn’t smoking. at one point i bumped into him at waterloo train station like “okay that’s it i have to leave the city. i can never go outside again. this is getting fucking weird”. haven’t seen him since, either. on a related note i’ve met paul simeon as well.

richard oakes (suede) - saw suede a bunch of times and as one of the few people who love and appreciate richard oakes i always spoke to him and he was really excited about it and would remember the smallest details. had a backstage pass to a show in paris once. richard also has a side project called artmagic that i’ve seen and no matter how many years pass, he still recognises me and will run over like an excited puppy. met his parents twice, who are lovely people.

simon gilbert (suede) - similar but less dramatic, but will add fans on personal facebook if he’s seen you often enough bc he’s a lovely guy.

obviously i’ve also hung out with the rest of suede but didn’t interact with them as much. it’s mostly me x richard brotp 4eva.

sean patrick flanery (actor, boondock saints/mongolian death worm) - i made a joke about his hair being stuck in the 90s on twitter once and he’s followed me ever since which is at this point LITERALLY YEARS i really don’t understand.

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

The Anti-Spider-Girl Agenda within Marvel

In 1998 Tom DeFalco, former EIC of Marvel, created Mayday Parker/Spider-Girl. Her debut did gangbusters and a first edition of it still fetches a lot of cash. She got a solo series in 1999 which launched an entire interconnected universe of characters, the MC2 universe. 

The universe ultimately wrapped up in 2010 but throughout that time Mayday was being regularly published in one format or another, she was even the FIRST ever Marvel character to get a digital ongoing series before it went to print. An impressive accolade to add to the fact that she still holds the record for the female Marvel solo protagonist with the longest running continuous series. That is to say no breaks or relaunches, just over 60 straight monthly issues...

... And THEN she went another 40 straight issue for good measure before finally being continued in a relaunch. 

So, given how the anniversaries of both her debut and the debut of her series/the MC2 universe have come and gone I have to ask...why has there been 0 acknowledgement from Marvel?

We’re in the middle of a 2099 celebration, and that imprint (that lasted less time and was arguably less successful) was an on and off presence between 2013-2017.

We’re going to get something acknowledging Iron Man 2020 a character who is hardly in the zeitgeist of Marvel fandom to the same extent as Spider-Girl.

Now in fairness both of those examples are reliant upon the literal names of both properties. It does make a certain amount of sense to celebrate the 2099 line in a year ending in the number 9, thus bringing us ever closer to the real life year 2099. Equally it makes sense to revive Iron Man 2020 during well...the year 2020.

But then you get to Marvel celebrating the Earth X stuff. Now for all you out there who haven’t read the Earth X stuff I want you to ask yourself a question and be very honest with yourselves. How much do you actually know about the Earth X universe just via osmosis, without having read it. I’m willing to bet it ain’t much if anything and what you do know probably amounts to:

It was Marvel’s answer to Kingdom Come

Alex Ross did art for it

MAYBE you know Norman Osborn was the President

Oh and you probably remember that really cool Venom/symbiote looking character who was a version of Spider-Girl!

Golly, it’s almost like if Marvel are going to celebrate the not-that-well-remembered Earth X line (which like 2099 also lasted for less time than the MC2 universe) then they should do SOMETHING (beyond releasing some trades) to mark EITHER of the appropriate anniversaries for Spider-Girl and/or the MC2 universe as a whole.

But no. We get some trades and also Mayday appeared in Spider-Geddon for a few issues...at no point being solely in the spotlight...

This my friends is simply the latest in a very, very, very, very, very long list of instances where Mayday/the MC2 brand is mistreated.

  And a lot of that mistreatment I think is due to Tom DeFalco’s hand in creating Mayday and the MC2 universe. Because frankly, in particular relation to the MC2 universe, DeFalco’s work has also been mistreated in recent years.

  The facts are: 

Mayday’s ongoing (Spectacular Spider-Girl volume 2) was turned into a mini in spite of solicits 

She was cancelled so Anya Corazon could get the name Spider-Girl 

The very next time she shows up her Dad is killed off, thus fundamentally wrecking the whole premise for her character 

The guy who killed her Dad proceeded to treat her as an abused babysitter 

That same guy finished things off by removing her unique name and costume 

That same guy (Slott) in the same run before and after Spider-Verse wrecked other elements from DeFalco’s ASM work AND threw shade at his origin for MJ, calling it reductive 

Slott also was hired by DeFalco and had to uncomfortably admit he’d conned the man. Which combined with everything else makes me wonder if DeFalco maybe threw some shade Slott’s way back when he was an intern. Like he looked upon him as underhanded and unworthy of his place in the company, and Slott knew that and resented DeFalco for it. And again, being EIC earns enemies and DeFalco was the EIC when Slott started 

Slott also wrecked Ben Reilly a character DeFalco did not create but had strong associations with. 

During secret wars the story focused HEAVILY upon Hope Pym, Stinger and Ant-Man at a time when coincidentally the Ant-Man movie was happening. 

During Secret Wars the same writer who wrecked her in Spider-Verse COINCIDENTALLY happened to a story about the daughter of Spider-Man who was born during the 1990s, but it was his own OC 

During Secret Wars, Mayday appeared on the cover of one of the ongoings she was set to appear in, but it was then revised to be Anya 

Mayday when she began appearing regularly in a new title was seemingly killed off early into it and didn’t appear for awhile, not getting much spotlight when she did

Mayday had to share her spotlight moments in Spider-Geddon with Anya (again), still wasn’t allowed to be called Spider-Girl again, and the story was mostly about Annie not her. 

She was going to appear in the USM cartoon but then that was totally changed to be a gender flipped Peter Parker

Eric Masterson/Thunderstrike, another well remembered DeFalco creation, has also gotten little-no attention this decade despite it being a 20th/25th anniversary of him too. One of the more notable acknowledgments of his character was turning him into a Neo-Nazi for Spider-Punk to beat up.

Spider-Girl’s VERY SUCCESSFUL digests were discontinued but conveniently other digests for other Marvel properties either continued or started up after Mayday’s were discontinued. 

The ‘complete’ Spider-Ham trade paperbacks ‘conveniently’ do not include Spider-Ham’s equivalent character for Spider-Girl, Swiney-Girl

Gee that’s an AWFUL lot of coincidence, especially when you consider fucking Spider-Ham has been getting more attention from Marvel than Mayday; and that was BEFORE Into the Spider-Verse came out.

I’m sorry, but it’s really, really, really, really, really, really obvious that there is an anti DeFalco/Spider-Girl/MC2 sentiment within Marvel.

But why you may ask?

There are a few reasons for that. The biggest one though is that Tom DeFalco is the former EIC of Marvel comics.

At the time of me writing this, Axel Alonso recently stopped being EIC of Marvel and no bad words are muttered about him. People in the industry equally have little bad to say about Joe Quesada, especially those within Marvel.

But then again...Joey Q is still working for Marvel and in a position ABOVE the EIC. He never stopped working for Marvel even when he stopped being the EIC. And Alonso, one of Quesada’s right hand yes men conveniently took over for him and do you know he didn’t run the company all THAT differently to his former boss. Funny that right?

It’s almost as funny as how other former EICs of Marvel absolutely don’t have the same treatment. Jim Shooter is routinely BLASTED by countless fans and creators, especially the ones who worked under him, even though he oversaw arguably the height of Marvel comics’ creative history. Bob Harrass and his decisions are often talked about less than flatteringly. Tom DeFalco meanwhile had a whole disparaging phrase named after him.

Yes. That is is a real life Marvel letter page from the mid-2000s literally using the term ‘DeFalco’s Folly’ in reference to a former Marvel EIC and outright BLAMING HIM for their bankruptcy in the 1990s.*

When you are the EIC you make enemies. It’s rare that the boss of any business isn’t resented on some level by their employees. And your words take on much more meaning that what you simply say, being subject to misinterpretation.**

But now imagine you are the boss of a bunch of creative nerds (for most creators of superheros are nerds). Creative people A LOT of the time tend to be fairly sensitive as is, it’s likely critical to their craft. Nerds historically have tended to be sensitive (that’s neither a good nor bad thing). If you are the boss of those people, hoo boy will you ever make enemies. Tom DeFalco in fact once told a fellow editor that an innocuous comment about how an artist under said editor’s employ drew a character was being taken by the artist as an insult to their whole career.

NOW imagine all that and also under your tenure the company goes bankrupt and a lot of people lose their jobs?

Enemies. Enemies galore. 

Even if it wasn’t necessarily your fault, you are the most visible person in authority so you get the blame. If the internet wasn’t that much of a thing do you really think that Ike Perlmutter would be the guy who got the blame for deep sixing the X-Men and F4 in the 2010s? Hell no, it’d have been Axel Alonso and/or Tom Brevoort.

So yeah, Mayday was DeFalco’s baby and the MC2 universe more than anything was the logical extrapolation from the Marvel universe as it existed under HIS tenure as EIC. It’s very much seen as representative of DeFalco himself. Thus if people have an issue with DeFalco, they’re not going to do all that much positive as far as his stuff is concerned, in particular if it gives him anything like royalties.

But on top of all of that I think Spider-Girl and the MC2 universe simply conceptually lean against Marvel’s ‘party line.

I didn’t notice this, but it was pointed out to me by an acquaintance that the MC2 universe is VERY similar to DC’s Earth 2 concept, wherein the classic heroes are older and/or retired with their immediate descendants picking up their mantles. Marvel and DC have this petty and asinine pissing contest between them, with many within Marvel even outright hating the fact that they have numbered universes like DC. It’s likely (definitely) the reason Earth 616 was rebranded as ‘Earth Prime’. This of course won’t stop them ripping off DC if they think it’ll make bank

The MC2 universe was a universe of OPTIMISM. In particular in the 2000s, and this attitude has definitely lingered, there is this emphasis upon cynicism and at best Pyrrhic victories within Marvel. Partially this is due to a misinterpretation of what ‘realism’ means, but partially this is due to  misguided belief that controversy sells and pissing the fans off makes bank. 

The MC2 universe is very old school. It’s deliberately designed to be nostalgic and feel Silver Age in it’s sensibilities. this is why the violence is not all that gory, the sexual references are at best reserved and tasteful and there’s that optimism I talked about. not to mention it kicks back hard against the decompression/writing for the trade storytelling model Marvel typically employs and has typically employed for almost 20 years now. Whether it’s simply because the universe doesn’t conform, or because Marvel views anything ‘retro’ as bad because it isn’t ‘modern’ (with no inspection of whether the modern trends are a GOOD thing) the end result is that the MC2′s sensibilities are not in line with how Marvel WANTS their comics produced.

Then you have Mayday herself. Mayday is a living symbol of both the Clone Saga and the Spider Marriage. Whilst Marvel are NOW willing to more openly reference the Clone Saga, few people i any kind of positions of power look upon it (or even aspects of it) with anything but disdain and embarrassment. Dan Slott for instance openly hated it. As for the Spider Marriage...I mean do I even need to explain that one?

I’m sure a frustrating fact for Marvel during Spider-Girl’s publication, and something likely passed down to Axel Alonso when he was handpicked by Quesada, was that the book refused to die. Spider-Girl was scheduled for cancellation multiple times and defied the odds multiple times. Marvel 90% of the time won’t kill a book if it’s making a profit (especially in a day and age when they were still feeling the fallout from bankruptcy) so they kept Spider-Girl around, but because it was so against the party line I’m VERY sure they’d have LIKED to have had the justification for killing the title. That’s likely why they shuffled her onto a digital platform in 2009. Amazing Spider-Girl did poorly enough to justify cancelling it but not so poorly that they couldn’t still make money from it. Another relaunch would’ve boosted sales for the series, but making it a digital series at a time when hardly anyone read digitially (let alone PAID for it), now that’s a shrewd manoeuvre. You make SOME money from it, you pay lip service to keeping it alive and appeasing very upset Spider-Marriage fans, but you’ve essentially guaranteed it’s failure long term.

Part of that annoying success was those incredibly successful digests that were possibly indoctrinating a lot of young impressionable readers on a character/brand Marvel wanted to bury and aspects of their flagship character (read: a married older Peter Parker) that they wanted to bury. Hence Spider-Girl digests disappeared but conveniently there were still digests for Ultimate Spider-Man sold featuring a young, buffoonish, Avengers worshipping Peter Parker.

Oh...and she also had the incredibly brand sexy name ‘Spider-Girl’ that Joe Quesada wanted for his own precious pet OC character, Anya Corazon. In fact Mayday was going to be rebranded as Spider Woman in Spider-Girl #75, specifically so that Anya Corazon could be given the name Spider-Girl. Years later Mayday was cancelled specifically for that purpose.

tl:dr There is a VERY OBVIOUS anti Tom DeFalco/Spider-Girl/MC2 agenda within Marvel.

My hope is that it’s rooted out, hopefully as a result of the 20 year nostalgia factor kicking in sooner of later (her series was most prevalent in the 2000s) and more female creators coming into the industry.

*Which is very much unfair. There is rarely one singular decision that results in bankruptcy. So whilst DeFalco making a single purchase might’ve been a contribution (emphasis on ‘might’) the idea that it was THE ultimate cause of Marvel’s problems is ridiculous.

Marvel were heading for the shitter the moment Ron Perleman purchased it in the 1980s. They were the victims of a ‘pump and dump’ scheme wherein sleazy yet clever financial people showed up, created a bubble to make a load of money, then moved on to the next thing when the bubble burst. To my understanding a similar thing occurred with baseball cards.

** In fact DeFalco’s friend, Ron Frenz, has spoken about how he was witness to DeFalco saying one thing and the people listening to him hearing and acting upon it in a totally different way than was intended.

The same happened to Stan Lee when he made an aside about Iron Man’s lack of a nose, which resulted in his employees believing Stan wanted them to give Iron Man a nose.

P.S. You know in the 1990s when all the 2099 books got cancelled sans Spider-Man 2099, they never got a second bite of the apple.

But between the late 90s and 2000s the MC2 universe was seemed successful enough that around 2006-2007 both Spider-Girl AND the wider MC2 universe were given second volumes, even the ones that only lasted like 6 issues.

Since then there’s been at least 3 attempts to revive the 2099 universe, we’re living through the latest one. 

And yet Mayday doesn’t seem to even be worthy of a spotlight issue in the current Spider-Verse series. 

[lovemesomesurveys]

“she acts like summer and walks like rain”

The power goes out. What are three things that you have taken for granted? I mean, it depends how long it goes out for. I’ve only experienced that for a couple hours at most from what I can recall, so. Although, the worst to me is when it happens for any length of time during the summer because it instantly feels like a sauna in my house and it’s absolutely miserable. D: It happened a few times this past summer during a heat wave with triple digit temps... not fun. But yeah, that’s the only thing that really bothers me from my experience. I just mess around on my phone, play Animal Crossing, read, or just chill with the fam. My dad acts like it’s the end of the world lol like a couple minutes in he’s like, “what are we going to do for food?? I think we might have to get a hotel or something, we can’t stay here with no power.” lol.

Have you ever done the Polar Bear plunge on New Years? I’ve never done it and never would. Nooo thanks. I don’t swim or get into the ocean, lake, or river for one, for two, diving into freezing cold temperatures sounds horrific. It’d probably shock my body and kill me.

Name lyrics that include the word "baby" in them. “Oh baby, you got what I need, but you say I’m just a friend.”

You get to choose your middle name! It must begin with the letter H. Nah.

Have you ever had a Halloween party? Yeah. I had one when I was in like 2nd grade and invited kids from my class over. I had a few smaller, more just like hangouts, with my cousins or friend as well. The most recent was like 4 years ago. I’ve been to more Halloween parties than I’ve thrown, though. 

Would you rather have a plant cactus or venus flytrap? A cactus.

Are you better at crosswords or word searches? I love word searches. 

Would you rather have a water balloon fight or a paint ball fight? I’ve only had water balloon fights, back when I was a kid. I wouldn’t want to have either one now. Running around and getting hit with stuff just doesn’t sound fun. I don’t have the energy for all that. Also paint ball fights sound especially painful.

Do you like being told what to do? In some cases I might need a little push or can’t decide on something so I’ll sometimes ask someone what I should do. Doesn’t mean I’ll listen, but it can be helpful. I don’t like when someone tells me what to do as a command. I’m super stubborn, so being told to do something just makes me not want to do said thing even more, even if I already planned on doing it.

What would you do if you were attacked by thugs? If I was attacked by anyone I wouldn’t be able to do a whole lot.

Do you have a favorite word? I can never think of one on the spot when asked.

On what circumstances would you break up with someone? If they cheated on me I might, but I can’t say for sure. It would depend on a few things. I’d also like to think I would if there was abuse. I feel like I would, but I’ve never been in that situation and I know it’s not always that simple.

Have you ever been kicked out of a store? No.

What's your worst subject? Math was always my worst subject.

What are 3 things that make you happy? God, my family (including my doggo), and vacations.

“baby, let me be your last first kiss”

Have you ever been pampered? I get my hair done fairly regularly (not so much now... I can blame covid this year, but let’s be real the past few years I started slacking). 

Are you going to force your kids to be in activity or let them choose? I don’t want to have kids; however, IF I did, I wouldn’t force them to. I would certainly encourage and support, but it’d be their decision. If they didn’t enjoy it, I wouldn’t push it. It should be enjoyable for them, not torture.

Do you watch Toddler and Tiaras? Nah, I never got into that.

What was the last band t-shirt you bought? Nirvana. 

If someone asked you to go to war today, what would you say? Uh, no???

Are you passionate? I feel like I haven’t been passionate in years. Like, even things I like I don’t get as excited about like I used to. I just feel unmotivated and deflated. 

Do you usually get nervous before taking a test? Always. I had major test anxiety.

True or false : Your middle name begins with the letter J False.

Are you more comfortable in public or in your house? Most definitely in my house. This is my safe, comfortable place where I’m not judged. My self-esteem has always been crap, but these past few years it’s been even worse. I’m very self-conscious. I also just don’t like being around a lot of people. 

Do you own an old vintage typewriter? No. 

Do you hate how dogs bark every time someone comes to your house? No, I want my doggo to do that. She’s not excessive about it, though. And she’s not a little yappy dog that barks when an ant walks by lol. My neighbor’s dogs bark a lot, feels like it goes on forever and it’s annoying. 

What's a commercial that you cannot stand? I don’t pay much attention to commercials.

Mountain Dew or Dr. Pepper? Dr. Pepper. 

Do you say "mate?" like Hello, mate! No.

What makes you rate a survey? I don’t rate them. I decide if I’m going to take a survey by skimming over the first few questions and seeing if they’re of interest to me and if I’ve already done it before (well, at least to see if I’ve done it recently).

“I can’t explain loneliness”

Do you drink Mountain Dew? I haven’t had it in probably like 10 years. I used to love the red and blue one. Oh, and I liked the AMP energy drinks Mountain Dew used to(?) have.

How many weddings have you been to? Three. 

When you smile, are you confident? No.

Have you ever not done something because you were afraid of getting in trouble? Yeah.

Was the weather beautiful today? It’s finally been feeling like fall, which I love.

Do you have to have a fan on when you sleep? Yes. During the hot months I have 3 going at all times in my room. I still have 2 of them going even though I’ve been needing a blanket now. I love it, though. If I turned them off I know I’d get warm again. I’d love to have it be cold and need a blanket year round.  Would you rather have an orange, red or gray bedroom? Out of those, I guess gray.

Would you ever dye part of your hair blue? No. I dye my hair red and I just want to keep it that color.

Have you ever gone to a private school? My UC is.

Is Finding Nemo a favorite movie of yours? No, but it’s cute.

Does/Did your school have a uniform? My preschool did. Turn on the TV. What channel are you on? It is on, it’s on MTV.

Does your house have security cameras? Yes.

What's your favorite Another Cinderella Story? The one with Hilary Duff.

Does a popsicle sound good right now? No. I’m not a popsicle kind of gal.

“0 of your friends are online - yup, I feel like a loser.”

Do you drink more water or juice? Definitely water. I don’t like juice, so I never drink it.

Sweater weather or tank top weather? Which do you prefer. Tank top weather all the way, no competition. I hate summer. I also don’t wear tank tops. 

Do you always carry a purse with you? Not lately. The other day was the first time I had one, well it was my Baby Yoda mini backpack, in several months.

Do you update your Facebook relationship status when it changes? It’s never changed since making my Facebook in 2008 :X Joseph and I had our thing, but it wasn’t an official relationship. If I were to get in a relationship I wouldn’t rush to make it Facebook official cause who cares, like that wouldn’t be my first thought, but I could decide to change it at some point. Ha, maybe I would do it right away cause it’d be so surprising and shocking that I’d have to share it with everyone lmao.

Have you ever kissed a Zachary? Nope.

Do you hate when people try to embarrass you? Uh, being embarrassed certainly isn’t fun... I wouldn’t want someone to purposely try and embarrass me. Do you like in October when a bunch of haunted places open up? I like October for many Halloween-related reasons, but not for ghost walks or haunted houses - those aren’t really my thing. <<< Same, I don’t do all that.

Did you tell someone you loved them today? No.

Do you watch the show Ghost Adventures? I’ve never heard of it before. I’ve heard of Ghost Hunters - my father enjoys that show. <<< Ha, my dad really likes one of those as well; I forget which one. I’ve never gotten into shows like, though. 

When it's dark, do you always tell someone to drive safe? No.  

Are you love sick? No.

Do you want your own house someday? My family and I do. We’ve only ever rented.

What color are your curtains in your bedroom? Dark blue.

Are you superstitious? I do the knock on wood thing, but I think it’s just habit now.

Is there a cat in the room you're in right now? No, I don’t have a cat.

“it only takes a second to fall in love”

Have you ever read the book The Guardian by Nicholas Sparks? Nope.

Have your parents ever said you're ruining your life by dating someone? No.

Are you excited for anything? I’m looking forward to starting my Christmas shopping.

True or false : It's past 9:22 PM True, it’s 2:43AM.

Do you hate when artist change their music? No, not necessarily. It can be cool to see them try different genres. Does your house have a doorbell? Yep.

Would you ever name your car? *shrug*

What's worse : Two-faced people or fake people? Isn’t that the same thing?

Are you wearing a necklace? No. I haven’t worn a necklace in years.

Have you ever saved someone's life? No. Do you hate when your makeup smears? I always hated how my eyeliner smudged in the corners. I say “hated”, past tense, because I haven’t worn any makeup at all in like 3 years.

Are you good at giving advice? I think I kinda used to be, but not now. I was the one friends always came to. I used to also participate on teen message boards when I was like 12-14 and tried to offer advice and resources to people when I could. Sometimes I IMed with people who needed advice, too. That’s when I knew I wanted to help people in some way and it was in high school when I discovered what psychology/ a psychologist was. I majored and got my BA in it, too... now it’s just collecting dust and I don’t want to purse it anymore....

Have you gotten into any fights within the past week? No.

How often do you go to the kitchen? I don’t know.... probably like a handful of times. 

Are you strong? Nope. Not mentally or emotionally, and certainly not physically.

“bring her back to serendipity”

When you choose your golf ball for put-put, what color do you pick? I’ve never played.

Have you ever ate the tip of a pencil? The eraser. No...

When was the last time you wore earrings? I got cute rose gold Minnie Mouse ones for Christmas last year and wore those for a couple months until they started messing with my ears for some reason. It was weird because it was like they were getting sucked into the hole? I’ve never had that happen.

You can dye your hair red or neon green. You pick? I already dye it red.

How many Juliet's do you know? I don’t know any.

What's your current mood? I don’t feel well.

What time is it? 2:55AM. Do you own any colored pants? No.

What color of eye shadow do you wear? I haven’t worn eyeshadow in several years.

Hamburger or steak? Hamburger, definitely. I don’t like steak.

When was the last time you ran through a sprinkler? Not since I was a kid.

Can you do a cartwheel? No.

Do you believe you have the perfect parents? No one is perfect, but my parents are quite amazing.

Do you own any Converse? I still have one pair. I used to have a few.

How tall are you? 5′4.

“Right now, I just wish you were here.”

Would you ever try a workout video? Or have you? Maybe a fun dance one if it involved a lot of arm movements that I could do. Do you like your ice cream in a cup or cone? It’s gotta be a cup or waffle bowl for me cause I take too long to finish my ice cream and it gets super messy otherwise. 

Are fireworks your favorite things ever? I like how pretty they are, but I definitely don’t enjoy the sound that they make. <<< Ugh, saaaame. I hate the sound.

Is your cat orange? As I’ve said, I don’t have a cat.

Is anything in the room your in striped? My Adidas have 3 stripes on both sides.

What song do you hear playing? I’m not listening to music.

Have you ever found a four leaf clover? Yeah. Back in elementary school we used to hunt for ‘em on St. Patrick’s Day.

Do you think you've been in love? I believe so. Twice.

Have you ever read Romeo and Juliet? In the 9th grade, we were required to in English class. <<< Yep.

Were you ever in the plays in school? No.

Whose eyes do you have? Pretty sure they’re my own. Haaaa. My eyes are the same color as my mom’s. 

When was the last time you bought a pair of new shoes? I haven’t bought my own in a long time. I often get a new pair for my birthday and/or Christmas from my parents, usually my dad. He’s a total shoe guy, so he likes to buy shoes quite a bit for himself and as gifts for my family and I.

How many gray shirts do you have? I don’t know; a few.

Have you ever cried because you missed someone so much? Yes. Especially after the death of loved ones.

Do you hate waiting for things? I’m very impatient. Waiting makes me nervous and anxious.

[emperorren]

I don't want to cause any trouble, but as a long-time SWleaks reddit fanboy club member ( + reylo since TFA ) , I have to disagree with you. 80% of these guys where absolutely okay with reylo after TLJ, and everytime someone shit on them that person got immediately downvoted. Many of them weren't aware of the books and were surprised on many things related to Ben. 90% of them hated his death. Anti reylos were JB's black fanbase and the usa feminazis, not white men.

But TROS isn’t a movie made to please the ant/i reylo crowd, that’s the thing! They THOUGHT they were giving Reylo fans everything they could ever dream of... and Palpatine truthers everything they could ever dream of... and f/reys everything they could dream of... and Rey Somebody diehards... and crazy reddit theorists... and Chewie stans... and Luke/Leia shippers... they thought they could please everyone by meshing all this stuff together in a pathetic excuse of a movie. TROS has no personality and is such a mess because it’s a clumsy patchwork of all the stuff JJerrio thought we would be elated to see.

I’ve been lurking on reddit just enough to get an idea of the kind of appreciation that Reylo was given in those spaces, and after TLJ it was widely accepted as canon and as a main aspect of the ST, but not with the passion and the depth of analysis and the love for symbolism/mythological aspects that is typical of female fandom spaces. Ben’s death aside, I think the way TROS did Reylo would have worked fine enough for MOST reylo-friendly redditor dudes, and I doubt many of them would have noted or particularly cared about how the force bond scenes in TROS were a downgrade from TLJ’s, or how their dialogue is so terribly written and just disappears altogether in the third act, or how they both act so OOC for most of the movie.

But that’s neither here nor there---the point is not how reddit fanbros specifically felt about Reylo, but what LF thought the wider audience wanted to see. Reylo was never on their not-to-do list. It’s not the main reason why TLJ attracted so much hate. It’s not even in the top 5 reasons. But it was a LITTLE too close to becoming the main theme of the sequel trilogy, and they clearly didn’t want that, so they balanced it out with a bunch of other fanservicey things and top-rated reddit theories and lazy nostalgia triggers, to make sure this movie wouldn’t be remembered as the Reylo Fest, but as the End of the Skywalker Saga. 

[sumeshi-t]

the idea of making hc’s of children is sosososo cute. i’ll follow ur steps chloe @akaashit-baeji lolol this is gonna be really self-indulgent buuut my excuse is that it’s my birthday so here it goes... i'm writing the last half of this with a hangover and a bad case of dysmenorrhea... sucks 2 be me

Oikawa Teru (及川 輝)

his name “輝“ means “bright”, and this boi lives up to it because, let’s face it, he’s gonna be like his dad. he embodies this “brightness”, in a way that he’s smart, and he makes sure he and his team’s (or whichever team he’s going to be in) will shine on the court

wavy/curly hair and a victim of my and his dad’s astigmatism. always has this cheeky smile, and he gets my brimming energy so he’s really approachable and charming

very good with words; it’s like he always knows what to say

when he plays he also wears contact lenses

but don’t be fooled. in their generation, it’s him who has to put iwaizumi’s son in check. he knows everything about his teammates too, he knows more than what he lets on (which sometimes, they find creepy, but they all know he means well)

anyway, unlike his dad, he doesn’t really mind having geniuses around. instead, he watches them very closely; something like “mutualism”. he knows what he lacks and he knows he can learn from them too, vice versa.

is into horror games. in his free time, he and his sister take turns playing. and they decide it by seeing who can last the longest without flinching/screaming. he’s annoyed because his sister’s better at it 

has fans, ngl. i mean look at him. however, the female fans especially, are pretty on guard. he’s approachable, but anytime they see him with his sister... they back out. he doesn’t mind, he loves his sister and it actually amuses him. he’s the same when it comes to the boys who hang around her too!

basically protective siblings who are always there for eo

is very neat. can’t concentrate when something is out of place. he keeps his nails short, has a somewhat flowery scent. yes, he uses female perfumes because he despises strong smells.

bug-catching was his childhood hobby just like mine’s was. used to sneak beetles in iwaizumi’s son’s backpack back then

he will never admit it but he actually asks his sister for fashion tips because his taste sucks ass so bad

basically his major problem or issue in life is getting compared to his father (he’s also a setter). he hates that so much, being hidden in the shadow of his dad, and when people just recognize him for being oikawa tooru’s son.

something he and ushijima’s child relate to so strongly. they’re friendly rivals; might end up being teammates in their career hmm

so when he’s the one stressed, he skips practice for a day just so he could recollect his thoughts. usually stays in the library to read books he picked up based on the titles; might either open up to iwa or his sister later on, it depends. then when he’s okay, he doubles the amount of training

Oikawa Rie (及川 麗恵) it’s /ri-ye/ oki

so the kanjis are: "麗" meaning, beautiful and "恵" is blessed. tooru thought of this name obviously

also has curly hair like mine. has that tiny mole below her eye just like i do. actually has lots of moles over her body; one time she fell asleep on the couch her brother drew connecting lines between the moles on her arm and called them constellations. it was nice she thought but still, the next day, teru had to wear a band-aid over his nose bridge.

she’s just a year younger. is less “vibrant” than her brother, a bit more serious. has a resting bitch face and she’s not even sorry about it and i love her for that

she’s actually relieved she looks like that, or else she knows the girls in her class would flock to her just to get in her brother’s pants. usually brushes them off with “ask him, not me” or “do you think that’s any of my concern?” 

her tongue her words damn never get to this baby girl’s bad side she’s gonna burn you alive. like fr when she’s angry, oh she’s gonna show you that she’s angry. but tbh she's very sweet, leaves little notes or little gifts to her friends every now and then

she just doesn’t want her brother’s heart to be broken (she’s heard stories from her mom about her dad’s many hs exes), and she knows teru’s struggles

therefore

doesn’t really like volleyball that much. it’s because she didn’t get to grow up with her dad around, she felt like it separated her from him. she’s not mad at him though. she’s very supportive of him and her brother.

used to play vb though when they were kids. but that’s all it was for her

she’s the team’s honorary manager lol the occasional “i brought you guys sumn” or “something-kun, a girl from my class says she likes you so do your best” etc

the team’s lil sister how bout that

despite being tolerant of horror games, this girl is vvvv squeamish. she cries at the sight of internal organs or blood. biology lab was the worst time of her life 

when she dug up my hs videos she was shook to discover i once did theater. and thus begins her interest in theater too

and??? baby girl is actually???? really really good???? 

the girls she used to shut down nicknamed her “prima”, short for “prima donna” she hates it. hates it more when her closest theater buddy was the one who spread that around

immediately went to the gym to spike some balls from her brother. baby girl was crying because she was just so pissed.

she was given ice cream and sweets afterwards. ugh it’s so cute idk she’s baby to the team skksksk they protecc

in that upcoming play, her first ever performance, the whole team got front row seats and howled when she came on during curtain call; it was vvv sweet and memorable even if the guys were kinda reprimanded afterwards lmao

which is why, in return, boiis also have a hard time approaching her because damn??? the vb team as your knights???? excuse me??? 

oh have i mentioned she has a sweet tooth? mygod. she has a stash of sweets in her room. teru has had to sneak some away because she might get tooth aches or diabetes

her pastel nail polish is arranged by shade, her body clock is fucked up lmao she hates the mornings; has succulents by her window which she names after various characters from books/plays etc she’s for sure gonna be a theater actress tho

asks help from iwa’s son for math. even her brother’s 0% help. teru is smart but a terrible teacher. she’s an above-average student and that’s all that matters for her. she can leave the spotlight to her brother because she only craves one type of spotlight

Miya Seiichi (宮 聖一) and Miya Seiji (宮 聖二)

their names literally mean “聖” sacred then “一” is one, and “二” is two

atsumu thought it was funny. when they were kids, seiichi’s nickname was “juan” and seiji’s was “tutu” (i gave them the nicknames)

when the twins discovered the meaning behind the nicknames, they hated it. especially seiji, he despises it vvv much

so when they were hs, seiichi = chi, seiji = ji for the people they're close with

as we can see here, the twins unfortunately got my curls. seiichi likes his hair as is. he doesn’t like the thought of dyeing his hair just to be differentiated from his twin. in fact he enjoys twin jokes, enjoys tripping people up about it. seiji on the other hand, grew tired of his brother’s jokes and by the time hs started, he sacrifices his soft hair. 

between the two, seiji is the one who has my ugly eyesight. add to the fact that he reads a lot (once he starts he can’t put it down. so he reads in the dark, in a moving car etc)

the piercings was a thing that happened between them, and their cousins (which were also twins wtf)–it was a 2v2 vb thing and they lost

surprisingly, the cousins weren't pleased bc atsumu didn't scold them for getting piercings (but for playing half-heartedly). seiichi wanted the piercings tho tbh it was the perfect excuse. ngl, seiji also wanted them.

first let's talk abt seiichi, aside from the fact he also got my mole (he feels it makes him look cuter tho)

seiichi's into vb, but not a setter. he's the ace. may or may not push through with it as a career. he hasn't decided yet. is actually a bit sad that seiji didn't join the vb club in hs, he wanted them to be like his dad and uncle.

seiichi doesn't have any uh, quirks like shutting the whole cheer squad up like his dad does. but he usually dribbles the ball five times before any serve (this is something i did before) and he likes the 'ooooh hey' thing the crowd does when he goes for a serve

his side of the room doesn't have much stuff going on except workout equipment. he follows what exercise plan i give him as da PT mom that i am, and he is very strict with his diet and with what he eats–he's close to not needing a calorie counter anymore; but not a picky eater. he loves his uncle's cooking very much and he is jealous he can't cook even if he tries

he can do beatboxing, he learned it through youtube lmao his spotify playlists are da bombest; he learns a lot in youtube tho in his free time. his current interest is magic tricks and french (he thinks he can use it to woo that girl from class 4)

he hates insects, and hates mess. he has had to scold his twin about it that it escalated to them having this imaginary line in the middle of the room

anyway, he's straightforward. but not rude. he just doesn't like any pretenses so he says what he thinks or feels is right. may or may not have led to some misunderstandings, but he owns up to his mistakes if he crossed a line

next, seiji

even if he looks like a nerd with his glasses tbh he is not he actually hates studying. you can love reading without having to love studying right? he's that dude

the only time that he regrets dyeing his hair was when he realizes couldn't change identities so his brother could take his exam for him

his side of the room is littered with his sketches, notes from books, pencils everywhere – he drew a bunch of ants one time on a paper and made it look like they're real ass ants and placed it on seiichi's pillow

to solve this problem, atsumu has planned to give him a tablet for his next birthday

quits vb in hs because he kinda lost interest? he still finds it fun but he doesn't wanna be put under the pressure that his dad and uncle left for them lmao

he's in art clubs tho

he designs banners/posters for the team anyway. they use his strategic mind from the shit he's read for any plays and stuff so when he's not drawing, he's thinking

he might look like he has no emotions, but tbh he is more emotional and empathetic than his brother. he cries easily over the simplest things, like those grandparents vids, or rescuing animals and stuff

and thats why he doesn't let people in too much bc he knows he'll be hurt (dw seiichi knows this vvv well, and even if they do have arguments, he loves his lil bro and helps him about this)

has once begged to have a cat at home–seiichi didn't want bc he knows his twin is gonna leave him for clean up lmao

he can cook period.

he's gonna either be an architect or an animator, still hasn't decided.

his music taste sucks lmao. his youtube recents are filled with cooking stuff; in constant conversation with his uncle abt cooking lol it be cute sometimes atsumu is jealous bc he feels his son is closer to his brother than with him

he is forgetful that's why his stuff is messy lol he keeps misplacing stuff, sometimes it's literally in front of him and he's just 'where????'

but remembers dates well, remembers plays well. he's good at nitpicking tiny nearly insignificant details. just anything outside studying? he's good. dw he passes his classes but he hates giving effort for that shit lololol

[kah-ween]

So, I didn't really like this drawing, like, at all.

I wanted to post something pride-related-ish and had planned on doing a series of drawings of LGBTQ+ artists to post throughout June. However, with everything going on in the world right now it didn't feel like the right thing to do. I 100% support the blm movement and am grateful for the black trans women who made Pride Month becoming a thing even possible.

Everyday I try to educate myself out of the racist mentality taught in most religious latin households. As a Venezuelan queer woman, I stand by the black community as they have fought for my rights before. It is now our turn. Don't stop educating yourselves just because a hashtag isn't trending anymore. Growth can never be achieved if we don't commit to it.

Before pride month is over, I wanted to share with you this one drawing I did finish from the bunch, even if I didn't even quite like it. Melanie came out two years ago and has since influenced many queer fans such as myself with her loving and supporting words and actions. I know I post about her a lot but she really is the person I look up to the most

🌸 Happy Pride, never stop learning and practice empathy everyday. It hurts nobody to be a good person. 🌸

[Sorry for my trashy English. I swear I tried my best lmao.]

-------

Bueno, realmente no me gustó este dibujo.

Quería publicar algo que tuviera que ver con el mes del orgullo, de hecho, había planeado hacer una serie de dibujos de artistas LGBTQ+ para subir durante junio. Sin embargo, con lo que está sucediendo en este momento, no me sentía bien haciendo eso. Yo apoyo al movimiento anti-racista al 100% y estoy tan, tan agradecida con las mujeres negras y trans que empezaron las protestas que hicieron el Mes del Orgullo posible.

Todos los días trato de "desaprender" la mentalidad racista que se nos enseña en los hogares religiosos latinos. Soy una mujer queer Venezolana y apoyo a la comunidad negra ya que ellos también han luchado por mis derechos antes. Es nuestro turno ahora.

No dejen de educarse sólo porque ya no es tendencia. Jamás podremos cambiar nuestra mentalidad si no nos lo proponemos. Antes de que se acabe el mes del orgullo, quise compartir este dibujo, el único que terminé de los otros, incluso si no lo amé.

Melanie salió del clóset hace dos años y desde entonces ha influenciado a muchos fans queer, incluyéndome, con sus palabras y acciones llenas de amor y apoyo. Sé que publico bastante sobre ella pero realmente es la persona a la que más admiro.

🌸 Feliz mes del Orgullo, jamás dejen de aprender y practiquen la empatía a diario. A nadie le hace daño ser una buena persona. 🌸

[Al que me diga mucho texto ban]

[dimensionsunited]

JUNE 2020 DIMENSIONS ENTERTAINMENT SCHEDULES & REVIEW

Members may earn 3 points each (up to 6 points) for writing, by the end of July 7 KST:

A solo para of 400+ words based on their monthly schedule (does not count toward your monthly total).

A thread of six posts (three per participant, including the starter) based on their monthly schedule.

Threads do not have to take place directly during an important date listed on the schedule, but must be related to what the muse is mentioned to be doing in the paragraph explaining their schedule/the company’s schedule for the month and/or their thoughts on the mentioned activities or lack thereof.

These schedules may be updated throughout the month if new information needs to be added.

Reminder: May schedule posts are due by the end of June 7 KST. Please do not post schedule posts in the fmdschedule tag.

OVERALL COMPANY

CEO Choi had little say in the cross-company retreat this year and won’t be attending, much like the other company executives. Instead, Choi Dongwook suggested the venue after noticing how overworked Dimensions idols have been recently (or, rather, how the public has noticed how overworked all three companies’ idols have been). Still, even Dongwook is aware the retreat serves more as a bandaid on a bigger problem and good publicity than anything else.

Important dates:

June 19-22: Wellness retreat with BC and Gold Star.

DIMENSIONS SOLOIST 1

Word from the higher-ups is that they’d like to have her begin working on her next comeback next month, but for this month, she has the job of promoting herself by heading to New York from June 12 to June 14 (and will take back the same plane back as Dimensions Soloist 2) to performing at this year’s KCON alongside label mate Lucid and soloists from both BC and Gold Star.

Important dates:

June 13: Performance at KCON NY at the Javits Center in New York, NY, USA (also performing: BC Soloist 1, Lucid, and Gold Star Soloist 3).

DIMENSIONS SOLOIST 2

In the wake of his comeback, the only schedule he has this month is a performance at KCON New York.  He’ll be in New York from June 11 to June 14 (and will take the same place back as Dimensions Soloist 1). This month, Dimensions will be publicly announce an upcoming Seoul concert for him and open up ticketing, but he won’t begin intensive rehearsals for it until next month.

Important dates:

June 12: Performance at KCON NY at the Javits Center in New York, NY, USA (also performing: Knight, Alien, 7ROPHY, and Gold Star Soloist 2).

DIMENSIONS SOLOIST 3

Though promotions are over, she’ll continue filming her OnStyle reality show at the beginning of the month. This month, a day has been scheduled for her to be filmed going about her “everyday life” at home with visits from some friends (admin note: these may be other muses or NPCs, but must be female friends) and filming will end with them making a meal together. The aim is to show her in a personable light. After that filming is done, she’ll be granted a one week vacation from June 11 to June 17 (where she’ll be permitted to travel out of the country if she’d like) as a reward for the success of her debut.

Important dates:

June 10: Reality show filming.

GAL.ACTIC

A successful past few months of performing hasn’t gone unnoticed by brands and though Gal.actic is still considered a risky choice for some due to their history of controversies, they’ve been offered a new contract with denim brand GetUsed that Dimensions has been happy to accept on their behalf. As the new ambassadors, they’re scheduled to film a CF this month, where they’ll show off the brand’s jeans while teaching both the “B.B.B” point choreography along with the point choreography for one of their older songs, “Wiggle Wiggle”.

Important dates:

June 11: GetUsed CF filming.

ALIEN

The release of their latest English single preludes a performance at KCon New York later in the month. They won’t actually be performing any of their English singles, in an arguably questionable move by Dimensions’ marketing team, but it is part of the continued push for them in the American market. The rest of the month, the members will be learning and perfect the stage choreography for “Follow” and “Find You” for their upcoming comeback, along with filming the M/V (admin note: Hyungwon’s role will be played by the main vocal, car crash tw) for their pre-release single “Find You” and shooting the photo book.

Important dates:

June 5: Release of Someone’s Someone.

June 13: Performance at KCON NY at the Javits Center in New York, NY, USA (also performing: Knight, Dimensions Soloist 2, 7ROPHY, and Gold Star Soloist 2).

June 23: “Find You” M/V filming (car crash tw).

June 24: Comeback photo book shoot.

MARS

"Take Me Higher” is doing well on the charts as one of the stronger boy group releases of the year, even if a certain subset of fans are asking for a return to form with something darker and more theatrical. Their schedule for June is mostly music shows, but they will be filming a variety appearance in the form of Pops In Seoul early in the month where they’ll do self-introductions and show off their in-group dynamics.

Important dates:

June 4: Pops In Seoul appearance filming.

June 14: End of music show promotions.

7ROPHY

"No” gets the group two music show wins but not any notable chart success, which makes it all the more important when they’re called into a meeting on June 15 after returning from their trip to New York for KCon from June 11 to June 14 and after filming a short package where Aria visits them at the Dimensions’ building to help them with a cover performance of “Mr. Chu” they’ll be doing as a special stage. The meeting is a filmed one at the company headquarters to officially confirm with them that they’ll be appearing on a new MNet competition show called Queendom where they’ll compete against five other female idol acts. During the meeting, they’ll be informed one by one that they’re competing with Lipstick, Aria, two NPC senior groups, and one NPC senior soloist and their reactions will be filmed. The show will begin airing in late August, but they must begin preparing a brief introduction stage (admin note: Soyeon’s rap will not be included because 7ROPHY has yet to release Uh Oh), which they will go to the MNet studio to film on June 29. While they are there, they will be interviewed and asked what they want to show through their performances and will be heavily pushed towards answers that push the story line MNet has planned for them: proving themselves despite being the most junior artists of the bunch. 

Important dates:

June 12: Performance at KCON NY at the Javits Center in New York, NY, USA (also performing: Knight, Alien, Dimensions Soloist 2, and Gold Star Soloist 2).

June 15: MCountdown Mr. Chu stage behind the scenes filming with Aria.

June 18: Mr. Chu special stage on MCountdown.

June 27: End of music show promotions.

June 29: Queendom Opening Performance filming.

UNITY

While three of their members are in LA with CHAMPION, the other Unity members will have a little more free time to do as they please, though it’s not an official vacation of any sort where they can leave the country like they had last month. Once the members return, the group will get to work on learning and practicing the choreography for “Kick It” and “Prelude” (an instrumental track that will be included on the repackage) for their approaching comeback. The group also has a photo shoot and interview for the summer issue of DiCon Magaze, which they’ll be on the cover of.

Important dates:

June 13: DiCon Magazine summer issue photo shoot and interview.

           ↳ CHAMPION

All members of the sub-unit will fly out to Los Angeles on June 3 and will stay in Los Angeles through June 10. They’ll be filmed during their time in Los Angeles for a reality show that will be released called CHAMPION The Beginning. During their weeklong stay, they’ll be staying in a house in Beverly Hills instead of a hotel in order to encourage more bonding between the sub-unit members. Their rooms will be assigned by random draw and will end up as follows:

Room One: Main rapper/lead dancer/vocal (Unity)

Room Two: Main dancer/vocal/rapper (Knight) & Main vocal (Knight)

Room Three: Main dancer/lead vocal (Decipher)

Room Four: Main dancer/rapper/vocal (Unity) & Lead rapper/vocal (Unity)

On June 5, the night before their debut showcase, the members will be treated to a special dinner made by private chefs paid for by BC and Dimensions. When they return to Korea on the morning of June 11, they’ll begin their promotions on Korean music shows, which is when they’ll fall into a more normal promotional routine.

Important dates:

June 4: Filming of The Ellen Degeneres Show appearance [2] [3] [4] in Los Angeles, CA, USA.

June 5: Release of “Jopping” & CHAMPION album, promotions continue through July 5.

June 6: Debut showcase at Capitol Records Building in Los Angeles, CA, USA.

June 7: Fan sign at Barnes & Noble in Los Angeles, CA, USA.

LUCID

This month, the members not only have to be in the studio to record their first full-length album (which will signal a return to the power innocence concept, though they’ve left the school trilogy behind), but they also have to prepare for their upcoming concert tour which will take place before their next comeback. Lucid will embark on two separate tours before the end of the year ⁠— one solely themed after the music and concepts of their nightmare realm concept and another solely themed after the music and concepts of their regular realm concept. It’s a cash grab disguised as dedication to the concept, but fans are already eating the idea up. First up is the nightmare realm concert, for which they’ll prepare several covers for the tour, including a dance cover of Imagine Dragons’ “Believer”, a dance and vocal cover of “Regret of The Times”, and a revisit of their pre-debut “Lucky Strike” cover, and as well as the following duo or solo covers assigned by the company:

Dimensions Soloist 3′s “I” (lead vocal & maknae/vocal)

“Trouble Maker” (leader/lead vocal/lead dancer & maknae/vocal)

“Move” (main dancer/vocal/rapper & main rapper/vocal)

“Faded” (main vocal/lead dancer, flashing lights cw)

Among recording a rehearsals, the members will also be attending KCon in New York and filming a special clip of their “Regret of The Times” cover which will be released at the end of the month before they ever perform it in concert.

Important dates:

June 13: Performance at KCON NY at the Javits Center in New York, NY, USA (also performing: BC Soloist 1, Dimensions Soloist 1, and Gold Star Soloist 3).

June 27: Release of “Regret of The Times” special clip.

[joyandeggs]

Hunter x Hunter for the Fandom questions! 💕😁

You have activated the trap card!!! 💓 As always, a warning for everyone because this is a very long post -

Top 5 favourite characters: Truthfully, my top five are Shoot, Knuckle, Hanzo, Kite, and Gon. The three uncles, the honorary father, and the son. ❤

Other characters you like: Too many!!! I do love Killua, Kurapika, and Leorio. Kastro I really liked from the Tournament Arc. Melody, definitely! She’s the best. And, of course, Morel. I adore Big Papa Smoke. Palm and Knov, as well. Along with Ikalgo and Meleoron. ❤ Too many good characters.

Least favourite characters: I’ll have to say Illumi and Hisoka. I like them to an extent.

Otps: I am a sucker for Nashuu. 💓 What can I say? I really like Kurapika with Leorio, too.

Notps: Don’t…ship the children with other people please.

Favourite friendships: Gon and Killua of course! They are such a good pair. Shoot and Knuckle are the bestest though. I love them too much. Honestly, I really love when Meleoron and Ikalgo get to be with Gon and the others, especially after the Chimera Ant Arc. It’s so sweet.

Favourite family: Oh, I love Gon and Aunt Mito. 💌

Favourite episodes: There are too many good ones, but you know I have to put 86. For reasons. ❤ The biggest ones for me…were 112 and…118 just becauae of how emotional they made me. Especially 112. That episode made me SOB. After I finished the episode, I had to step away from the computer to breathe, I was crying too much. Not necessarily in a bad way, but I did get really choked up.

Favourite season/book/movie: Favorite season is the Chimera Ant Arc, even though it’s also the absolute worst at the same time. Favorite book is…the very first one! I was about to say Vol 20 or Vol 25, but the very first one makes me so happy. It’s my favorite cover, too! 💚

Favorite movie I don’t have an answer for. The Last Mission was pretty good, and I know there are at least one or two more I believe? I’ve only seen one though.

Favourite quotes: I absolutely loved it when Knuckle said “Everyone has a heart. That’s what I want to believe.” And…Shoot’s whole inner monologue right before he fights. Even when Shoot explains to Killua how he doesn’t like to hurt people. I still can’t handle them, I get so emotional just thinking about them.

Best musical moment: Well…I know when Pouf plays his violin it is incredibly musical. That’s the only thing I can think of to say here! That scene is so out of place, but the music is lovely at least.

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: I actually remember when I first got into Hunter x Hunter, and I saw that Hanzo got four badges in the hunting exam, literally was just cheering him on like “Yay Hanzo!!! Good job!!!” 💞 I was so happy for him!! Oh…and when Knuckle was on screen, especially when he would throw off his jacket… 💘💘💘💘💘 Every. Single. Time. My poor, weak heart. At all that fanservice. And!!! When Shoot would fight!!! I would just be mush like! 💓 I just loved seeing Shoot any moment I got, and I still do.

When it really disappointed you: I’m not going to say it because I don’t want to spoil Meve by accident, but it is a huge disapointment for me that still leaves me upset.

Saddest moment: Well… 💔 I won’t say it.

Most well done character death: Uvagin, I guess? I mean, I don’t want to say that, but Kurapika at the time…oh it was rough. 💔 The scene was well done.

Favourite guest star: Hm. Guest stars? I would say Togashi, but I’m clearly thinking about how we’ll see ONE appear in One Punch Man every now and then. Not sure if Madhouse did the same with Togashi dog or anything. – Oh shoot read that question wrong as soon as I wrote all of this, LOL! Oh, now I know who to say!! Junichi Kanemaru! 💓💓💓 He only voiced Buharu during the first season, but ahhh I absolutely adore him! Just hearing his voice again brought back great childhood memories since I know he’s Sonic. 💓 Takaya Kuroda also! He was great as Razor, but you can never not hear him as Kiryu if you know the Yakuza/Ryu Ga Gotoku series. Listening to him as another character in a completely different thing was so funny. It was nice little cameo for my ears for both of them. ❤

Favourite cast member: Yuuji Ueda! 💓💓💓💓💓💓 Of COURSE. Favorite Japanese voice actor. (Can I just say how lovely Shoot’s voice is? It’s breathtaking. 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞) Along with Wataru Takagi, who is literally one of the best Japanese voice actors ever. He is an absolute gem. 💓 And I love Megumi Han. She was always so into her character and voicing Gon, she was just so passionate for the series. She’s the best.

Character you wish was still alive: Kite. 💔 And Kastro too, he seemed like a nice guy.

One thing you hope really happens: Please just let Gon and Killua rest. Give all the characters a rest. Where’s the filler episodes where they’re all getting together and having a good time and nothing can go wrong? Where’s my dream beach vacation episode?

Most shocking twist: Kite’s death… 💔💔💔 It really makes me upset please stop I want to forget

When did you start watching/reading?: I started watching the anime around March! I’m not sure when I bought the first volume of it though. Maybe in the same month? But yeah, March 3rd is the official date! (Which I was actually trying to figure out when I was deciding a date. I watched the first episode with my love maybe a month or so before I did on my own? But March 3rd was when I started watching it from the beginning. I thought about making it March 5th because…that’s when I first watched Shoot and Knuckle be introduced. You know.)

Best animal/creature: I’m biased to Knuckle’s puppy. 😌 For creature, I like Ikalgo and Meleoron a lot. It took me a bit to warm up to them, but they’re my favorite out of the Chimera Ants.

Favourite location: Whale Island! It is such a beautiful place! If it were real, I would definitely want to visit it.

Trope you wish they would stop using: Nothing that I can think of.

One thing this show/book/film does better than others: A big thing is that…it shows no matter what you go through, no matter what happens, you can definitely try again. And “you can smile again~” 🎵 All of these things slowly go more and more downhill when you follow along the adventure, but after the events of the scariest arc of the series, things do try to get better despite everything that happened during the darkest of times.

Funniest moments: I really can’t think of any super specific ones, but I know there were a lot of little moments Gon and Killua shared that cracked me up so much. Oh, when Gon hit Hanzo during their fight, and Leorio called him a liar for saying he let Gon hit him on purpose!! Ahhh the way Leorio’s voice actor did that line was PERFECT. “LIAR!!!!” I was dying! I also giggled bad at ones Shoot and Knuckle shared, ahh they’re so funny together.

Couple you would like to see: Shoot and I love the thought of Aunt Mito with Kite, for some reason? I think it’s because someone wrote a fic of them meeting, but…it’s a nice thought.

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: Could you imagine if someone like Hiroki Yatsumoto voiced someone? Or Masaya Onosaka? Ahhhh or even Takahiro Sakurai! Just get Makoto Furukawa to guest star a character along with some other One Punch Man voice actors! It would be a fun time I’m sure.

Favourite outfit: I would say Knuckle. How does he stay looking so good??? His clothes never get dirty. But I do love how Pakunoda dresses. She just looks so lovely, ugghgh

Favourite item: The Hunter cards! ❤ They just look so iconic. Definitely Hotel Raffelasia. Gon’s fishing rod. And Crazy Slots!! Technically not an item himself, but Kite’s scythe is definitely the coolest weapon.

Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: I do now. ❤

What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race/etc would you be in?: I would love to be in the little family Gon, Killua, Kurapika, and Leorio have together. I do have to say I would want to be apart of the Extermination Team, too! What great groups of friends.

Most boring plotline: I honestly did get bored watching through the Phantom Troupe and Greed Island Arcs when I first watched Hunter x Hunter, but I really need to rewatch them. When I think back on them, I feel like I didn’t appreciate them enough. I might enjoy them more after I watch it from the beginning again.

Most laughably bad moment: Whenever Hisoka shows up and he’s just like that

Best flashback/flashfoward if any: The one during Shoot’s inner monologue, and the one of Gon meeting Kite for the first time. Definitely. Even though Gon meeting Kite was the opening for Hunter x Hunter in the manga. There’s also the one Knuckle has where my most favorite picture comes from. ❤

Most layered character: I jokingly say Shoot because my goodness that man wears layers of bandages, but he really is a layered character. There’s actually a whole bunch of layered characters throughout the series.

Most one dimensional character: I’m honestly not sure.

Scariest moment (and Grossest moment, I’m mixing both questions for my answer): When the Chimera Ants would kill people.

Best looking male: Knuckle. I love my Shoot, but…Japanese pompadoured delinquents make me swoon. They are seriously my biggest weakness. Especially him. 💘💘💘 My poor, weak heart. I can’t even look at him without melting.

Best looking female: Pakunoda and Palm. Both women are beautiful in their own way. And Melody is of course very warm and sweet, I adore how she looks. ❤

Who you’re crushing on (if any): …Shoot… ❤💍

Favourite cast moment: When Megumi Han got really emotional speaking at one of the panels for The Last Mission in front of fans. It was so genuine and sweet.

Favourite transportation: I always loved the shuttle train! When Gon and Killua used to get to the tournament, and when Morel and the others traveled together. ❤ It makes me wish I could go on long and cozy train rides to different places like that in real life.

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): When Gon was hiding out to watch Hisoka in the bushes, and the sun shown through the trees. Anytime a scene would be in a forest or in walkways of trees, really! The way the sunlight shines through the trees and leaves in patches over the vast green surrounding is just so pretty. I just love the colors, contrast, everything. Oh! And when Knuckle was punching Youpi!!! Like ahhhhhh Madhouse!!! Every once in a while in Hunter x Hunter that fluid Madhouse animation would just hit you!

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: I wish we could have seen what Kite’s other rolls (weapons) were. 💔 Along with Hanzo’s, Knuckle’s, and Shoot’s backstories! We know just a bit about Knuckle’s past, but nothing about Hanzo nor Shoot really. I would want to know why they all became hunters!

Best promo: Hm…I haven’t seen promos or anything at all for the series. This wouldn’t fit the answer I don’t think, but I loved the little “To Be Continued” ending scenes with Gon and Killua. They were so cute! I actually missed them during the Chimera Ant Arc.

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: Honestly, I’m not sure. I just ended up really liking it just by watching it from the beginning. Watching the first episode over at my love’s house piqued my interest in the series, but then a few weeks or so later I started watching it all the way through, and the rest was history. Everything blurs together for me because I literally blew through episodes watching them, but I had fun watching them all. And…even though the Chimera Ant Arc leaves me heartbroken and sickened, characters like Knuckle and Shoot came out of nowhere, and I was so excited to see them in such an awful part of the story. They were a breath of fresh air. And, of course…I got to meet Shoot. A character I will cherish and keep in my heart for the rest of my life. I already talk about him to death, but he came into my life at the perfect time. He gives me strength. I truly am happy I found Hunter x Hunter and just got into it.

[ask-the-guiding-light-cast]

Fan Fic Writers Appreciation Day!

Without saying anything specific, I’d like to thank those who submitted for the ask meme thing. As an author, though, I think it would be wrong of me to let this day go by without taking the opportunity to acknowledge some of the stuff I’ve discovered since I began my writing endeavors. More details after the cut.

I’d like to recognize a bunch of fics written by folks who I’m in a PMD-related Discord server with. I’m really grateful to everyone in the server. They’ve been very encouraging and, in some cases, indirectly served as a means for bouncing off certain ideas that later became reality in the fic. While I haven’t been able to read these all, I’m gonna do my best to give a rundown!

First off, of course, are the fics I’ve worked with for April Fools’ specials. There’s Spiteful Murkrow’s and @virgil134‘s shared universe, consisting of Fledglings and it sister spin-off, Casting Off. Both of them are much more high-fantasy PMD stories set in an ocean-punk setting. The stories focus on world-building alongside an expansive cast of colorful characters. The authors base their settings off real-world locations and the research shows. Just check trivia posts that Spiteful Murkrow has made for the fic in its Serebii version.

Second off is Namohysip’s Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Hands of Creation, which is a hodgepodge of shonen and conspiracy thriller story elements. The Dragon Ball Z/Super inspirations are quite noticeable, if you’re into that. You may scoff at the premise, but it’s become a bit of a running joke that the further Namo and I read in each other’s stories, the more we seem to discover we have in common, ha ha. It also features an extensive cast that those of you who love dragon-types will likely appreciate.

Next up are a pair of fics that utilize darker settings and tones: Shadow of Antioch’s Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Rebirth and MadderJacker’s A Home Far Away. The former uses a wartime setting that takes a lot of cues from Greek and Roman mythology and, as the plot advances, finds you questioning the moralities of the different factions in the conflict. The latter I’ve, unfortunately, not gotten very far in. But I’ve been able to do some RPs with some of MJ’s characters including his protagonist, Riley, and from what I’ve seen of how he writes Riley, the guy’s very easy to root for. There’s also TehSammichMan’s Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Your Great Kindgom, which draws inspiration from Rebirth.

Now onto some lighter original fics! P-bugle’s Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Pathways of Aspiration uses a unique team of a bagon and an alolan raichu, along with a tropical setting, to offer up a tale about the importance of second-chances. MagicAngelo’s PMD: Lost Spirit is a story that’s just getting started, but already looks to be doing something quite different by plopping a human boy right into a world of pokémon without any sort of transformations. To up the ante, he’s found not by kindly rescuers, but a shifty outlaw. Also recently-started is Shamekeeper12′s Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Agents of Fate, which seems to be using established explorers to tell a tragic tale about a dire, desperate conflict.

For those who are looking for complete fics that can be read from start-to-finish, I’ve got two in mind: Talgoran’s Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Power Trip and cynsh’s Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Fractured Elements. Both of these take place in original settings but are much smaller in scope and scale than some of these other entries. They focus on smaller, more intimate casts of characters. But, from what I’ve read, the more-grounded plots doesn’t mean these stories aren’t hiding some big, shocking twists. That’s lame wordplay on my part, since the former has a conflict themed around electric-types getting unnatural power boosts (hence the title) and the latter sees its protagonists dealing with strange weather phenomenons. Additionally, while I haven’t been able to read any of it yet, there’s ArbitraryRenaissance’s Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Aura of Storms.

Soniclink137 has a series of short stories set after the events of Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon, with his current one being The Tomb of Light. I’ve only gotten to read its predecessor, Amaranth, but I appreciate the focus on a character-driven storyline and the interpersonal conflicts between Light, Fennix, and the title character who’s conscripted to their team. Also in the realm of stories based on existing PMD canon is ShmokeyDaBear’s Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Canon Breakage. While slow on the update front, it’s shaping up to be very interesting as it drops a genre savvy human with knowledge of Explorers of Sky into the Explorers setting... only for everything to immediately go off the rails.

Lastly, these are fics whose statuses are uncertain at the moment, but I’m including them anyway! Maxatax1029′s A Song of Two Worlds, TheG0AT’s Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Gravity of Perspective (a Super adaptation that goes off the rails around chapter 20), and Will1231′s Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Blazing Aura (an Explorers retelling).

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There’s a good chance I missed a couple of things. And, truthfully, there’s more I want to say, but writing this all out exhausted me, so I think I’ll have to do a belated appreciation post another time. Still, if you’re looking for something new to read, I hope you’ll give these stories a shot. <3