#for being middle-aged and married and basically not alone

[lilislegacy]

i love how in heroes of olympus, there’s a boat full of couples (+leo☺️). and yet even if you didn’t know when each couple started dating, it’s so blatantly obvious that percy and annabeth have been together the longest, and are the most serious

cause frank and hazel are still pretty nervous/unsure with each other. they JUST started dating, and are so pure and adorable. they just haven’t quite figured out the romance part yet

and jason and piper have their moments, but they’re just so… distant. like not physically, of course, but they just don’t really seem to connect on a deep level. and they aren’t super affectionate, at least not physically or openly. piper is constantly unsure about where they’re at, and while jason has thoughts about how great piper is, he doesn’t openly show his feelings too often.

but percabeth? they’re the oldest in age (physically), have known each other the longest, and have been romantically committed to each other for the most time. they act like they’ve been together for eternity, which is funny since they were technically only dating for 4 months before percy got abducted. but they just have such a deep history together and such an intense connection. they’re in it for the long run. there’s no doubt or uncertainty - and it shows. like…annabeth is so wife girlfriend. there are so many funny/cute little moments, like her scolding him for putting too much syrup on his pancakes, and telling him to take a shower when he smells bad. and when percy suggests him and jason should go on a dangerous quest instead of annabeth and piper, instead of being like “omg he cares so much about me😍” (which hazel and piper would have done) annabeth is like “what seaweed brain?? you think two guys can do better than two girls??” and percy is immediately like “uh uh NO nope i definitely do NOT think that!!” he knows better. the immediate fear is so husband boyfriend of him. they simultaneously have the most disagreements (remember when percy called annabeth out when she thought she should navigate through rome alone, and basically called her stupid for thinking it was a good idea, and then they argued and had a face-off, which percy won) - while also being the most lovey dovey (they’re constantly putting their hands on each other - annabeth putting her hand on his chest to calm him down, putting their hands on each other’s arms for support, percy having his arm around her when they’re at the edge of the ship, always giving each other a kiss on the mouth or the cheek when they separate, etc). and they have no issues sneaking off in the middle of the night to do some talking and kissing. and quite frankly, making out in front of piper in BoO (remember that? when piper got super uncomfortable at how long their kiss was lasting, and then annabeth let out, and i quote, “grunt-whimpers”). they are just so natural and comfortable with each other. piper says it herself.

i just think it’s so funny. little frazel being adorable and blushing when they hold hands, jiper is happy to be dating but they’re also a little angsty and uncertain, and then there’s percabeth just being the old married couple they are. (and leo is being cute and fixing stuff)

[pinkiebieberpie]

YESSS THE PEOPLE WANT FARMER BUCKY !!!!

OH MY MY MY ઇઉ

(singledad!farmer!bucky x f!reader)

i'm happy to give the people what they want <33 i'm not much of a writer and it's more of a longer blurb/a few scenerios put in one longer post, but if you want to you can check my fic masterlist // inspired by this moodboard, enjoy!! reblogs and feedback is appreciated <33 (and yes the title is taylor swift coded, if you know you know.) ++ @bstorn wanted to be tagged.

words: 1.5k

warnings: death (mentioned), age gap (reader is in her mid 20s, bucky is in his early 40s), mention of drinking, mention of hair pulling, smut, kissing, oral (f receiving), fingering, outside sex (fuck being quiet, they are sleeping), unprotected sex, cockwarming and creampie (but also not really??? but it is here???)

life is messy. y/n's was actually very messy that's why she decided to move, leave her old life behind and change everything. how did she end up in a small town in the middle of texas? nobody knows, but she was there alone.

the first month was the hardest, she found a new job in a bakery, made a friend - her coworker, jessie but there was not really much to do, calm town, everyone knew each other, basically no privacy. after that first month y/n met bucky, a single father of two, a farmer and big enthusiast of chocolate cookies they were selling at the bakery. was he flirty? maybe. was he friendly? 100%.

it all started innocent.

"hi, i'm bucky, you new in town?"

"how do you like it here?"

"if you need any help feel free to reach out."

and y/n in fact did reach out, cause she needed help when her apartmet flooded. it was out of the blue the next day when bucky came to the bakery, but he was more than happy to help. that day y/n and bucky get to know each other a little bit more. she found out he has two daughters, annie (4 years old) and bea (6 years old), he owns one of the biggest farms in town and it's in his family since... forever, really. she was sure he is married, he was wearing a wedding ring, but that was just a habit - his wife died two years ago in an accident. the conversation was smooth, it was clear that the chemistry was there, but nobody made a move.

"all should be fine now." was what bucky said when he finished fixing y/n's plumbing problem. was she starring at him a bit when he was fixing her sink? yes.

"thank you, really, i had no idea what to do and i don't know that many people here... so i kind of had to ask my friendly neighbourhood customer for help." she chuckled and licked her lip a little bit.

"oh, it's nothing, actually i have a favor to ask, myself... it's okay if you feel like this is too much, but i have to help my friend out of town on the weekend, he has some problems with his animals and i can't leave girls alone, could you babysit? i can pay!"

"what? babysit? i- i never did that, but if your daughters are even half as kind as you, i bet they are angels, so yeah, i can do that, i'm not working over the weekend, you don't have to worry. and you don't have to pay me, it's favor for a favor."

was it a bit weird and a bit fast? for some people maybe, but both of them really felt like they could've trust each other. and that's how y/n became a babysitter for annie and bea. the girls were little angels, that was true. it became a thing that y/n was coming over to play with them and watch them, when bucky was working or when he was busy with whatever he needed to do. girls adored her. she baked cookies with them, they played outside together, she loved reading books with annie and bea and they loved to listen to them.

one night bucky came home really late, the girls were sleeping and y/n fell asleep on the couch too. closing the door woke her up and looked at bucky all sleepy.

"huh? you are home? i better pack my thin-"

"are you crazy? it's 3am, you are staying here, i will drive you home in the morning." he said it with a tone that left no place for arguing. she was a bit turned on by his voice, but no way she would ever tell bucky that. they were friends. only friends, with a weird chemistry, but still friends... but are you really friends when it's 3am and you are sitting on a couch with a man so much older, talking about life, drinking and being really and i mean really comfortable with each other?

that night went peaceful and quietly, in the morning bucky made breakfast for all three of the girls and when his kids were ready all four of them left his farm. first bucky and y/n dropped annie and bea at their preschool and then they made their way to y/n's house.

"you know, they adore you." bucky said while he way driving. y/n felt her cheeks getting a bit more pinkish. and she had no idea why, it was a compliment from his daughters, kind of, not from him. but at this point she knew she was falling for this man and there was nothing she could do about it.

✧✧✧

a few months passed and everything was going great for both bucky and y/n. they were meeting almost every weekend and more than one time during the work week. one day bucky invided her to a picnic at his farm, but... it was only two of them. the girls visited their grandma, and the truth was bucky wanted to spend some time alone with his... friend? his who? that was maybe a little bit more complicated than he wanted it to be. farmer was thinking about her all the time and he was ready to make things official. he wasn't in a relationship since his wife passed and that was over two years ago! he deserved to be happy.

when bucky asked y/n to be his girlfriend she was speachless, cause of course she wanted it, she wanted it bad. she wanted him bad, to be honest. soon she found out bucky wasn't always that sweet and caring man everyone thought he was. he was a very typical girl dad, he was making breakfast for his kids every morning, doing their hair, but he was also that type of man to pull your hair very hard when you were alone. and y/n loved it. every second of it.

their relationship was perfect, y/n loved waking up next to him almost every morning, she moved in really quickly. it wasn't even strange for the girl, they accepted it, after all annie and bea loved having y/n around.

one night y/n and bucky put the girls to bed earlier, because they planned a dinner. bucky cooked and prepared everything and all y/n had to do was to just look pretty when everything was ready.

"god, angel, you look stunning." was what bucky said when he saw y/n in her short, black dress. they ate their dinner, had some red wine and since it was warm summer they left home to sit outside. the moon looked marvelous and y/n looked even more beautiful in it's light.

it didn't took much for bucky to start kissing her. first her lips, then her neck, her exposed cleavage. y/n started breathing faster and then he dropped on his knees and rolled her dress up. first he was kissing y/n's thighs, then his lips were on her already wet panties. her noises were getting louder, then bucky took off her underwear. his lips were soft at first, teasing her, but when she buckled up her hips to him that was a sign he had no idea he was waiting for. bucky's tounge was making her more and more wet and she was only getting louder. her hands ended up in his long hair, pulling them hard when he added fingers to his ministrations.

"c'mon sweetie, you are making really cute noises, but you can be louder than that... girls are sleeping inside you can be as loud as you can." he hummed, his lips still so close to your aching pussy. it was hard being quiet with this man, he was making y/n feel like she was floating with his fingers and tounge alone. after her first orgasm they moved to their bedroom. they ended up naked a second after the door closed behind them. lips and hands were everywhere. their bodies so close, lots of moans and gasps. it was a perfect mix between soft love making and rough fucking and it made y/n lost her mind. at some point bucky covered her mouth.

"shh... we are not outside anymore, girls are sleeping next door, you have to be quiet now, doll." he whispered into her ear as he bit it. he was moving inside her with a steady rythm. her hands were on his back, nails in his skin leaving marks, it wasn't long before y/n finished again. when bucky wanted to move she wrapped her legs around him.

"no, please, i want to feel you..." she purred in the croock of his neck. he hapilly obliged. and that's how they both fell asleep. bodies tangled together, their breaths steady and calm and the whole life ahead of them. maybe with more than just two kids in the future...

[transboyswitchytales]

Tumblr Request MasterList

🦊user request 👤= anon 🔒 = maya🔪=darkfic💦=Smut🚬=kink 🍌=g!p 🫧=Fluff 🧸= hurt/comfort 🪓= gore

🦊 Milk Block & Cut Strawberries 🚬🫧🧸 -1. reader/us refuses to nurse, and agatha gets a little irritated, but she lets it go for now. (i even made a few dialouge) "sweetheart, it's time for your milk" - ags - "but mommy i don't want to" - reader and rio is just watching this happening. i was thinking that reader/us is a little shit sometimes and because we doesn't want to nurse, agatha's mood switches and she basically snaps at everyone. let's say that we haven't nursed in like two to three days, and finally we just give in. hehe i will send in more requests, and ughhh i think you just gave me a nursing kink 💔💔 but i love you anyway. 🦊

🦊I miss you (Rio x Agatha x Reader) 🚬🫧🧸 - reader isn't at the house when ags and rio comes back from the grocery store. they *panic* like fully, "WHERE IS OUR BABY!?", and then calls the coven and alice said that she last saw us with billy four hours ago (rio and ags were gone the whole day before they came home) and now billy won't answer his phone.'

🦊Little Brat 🚬🫧🧸 -reader wakes up in the middle of the night, can't go back to sleep, so we take off ag's sweater and plays a bit with her breasts, but doesn't nurse, just being playful you know. ags moans a bit and in the morning, reader isn't the bed, but downstairs. and ags wakes up without a sweater on, her nipples are hard and breasrs sore from not nursing. she groans and say "that little brat"

🦊Unsupervised 🧸 -billy and reader get into trouble with the coven, like, let's say we get drunk at the house alone when the rest of the coven is like doing magic in the forest. and when they get back, we are super drunk and when we see them, we just burst out laughing. "we're not- *laughs* drunk, this is how we normally are" or something similar. you can pick, of course.

🦊 Warm All Night 🚬🫧🧸 -I actually want to see rio sleeping outside for once, would be fun and ags would just tease her by saying "oh, don't worry rio, i will keep our baby warm all night"

👤Blood In The Water ( and 2) 🔪💦🚬🔒 - dark Claire Debella x reader pls? Reader is part of the group of friends but she arrived after Andy's so Miles invites her to the meetings of the whole group. Claire is obsessed with Reader from the first moment - despite being married. Perhaps the one who ends up being the murderer is Claire who felt threatened because Duke found out about her dealings with Miles and also wanted to blackmail Claire. Reader doesn't know who to trust ^^

👤Get Lost in My Eyes 1. 2. 🫧🧸 - Literally after recover her body, Agatha goes for a walk because she misses… well, her body so she takes advantage of the fact that Billy goes out with her boyfriend to take a walk around Eastview.On her way out, Agatha's gaze connects with that of Reader who was passing by. Normally, Agatha didn't care but if Agatha didn't believe in love at first sight, she now believes it because after looking at you she couldn't look away and had to interact with Reader. Agatha's body moved only in the direction of Reader-Or-Agatha who has had no luck in love, only toxicity, falls in love at first sight for the first time in her long life as a witch

👤 Caught In A Bear Trap 🪓🔪Unsupervised you mentioned witch hunters.. I’d love to see what would happen if a witch hunter happened upon Baby, and Agatha and Rio track them down and decimated them because no one touches baby but THEM. I can’t get it out of my mind and I’d love to see your take on it!

👻 Spooky Coincidences 🔒🔪🍌💦🚬🔪🔪 -here’s my prompt: maya mason was reader’s boss and fuck buddy. she ended their past “situationship” as she did not believe in commitment which led to reader resigning. however, as time progressed, maya still thinks about reader and becomes obsessed with her. a new movie project brings the reader and maya back together, intertwining their lives once again. maya will do anything to keep reader all to herself, even blackmailing her into marriage and breeding her. i want it rough please, where maya will roughly shove her dick into the reader without proper lubrication and to the point where reader is begging maya to stop cumming inside of her as she’s overstimulated. oof did i not state earlier that maya has a penis? is it too spooky? 🥺

A New Horizon Series 🍌🫧🧸 Reader moves into Westview right before the hex and for some reason isn’t as effected as everyone else. Agatha of course, notices this and decides to investigate. Eventually Reader and Agatha start hooking up. Everything goes as normal for the end of the show, except Reader learns that they’re pregnant. They decide to keep the baby and stay close to Agatha to watch over her.A bit before the start of AAA Reader meets Rio and they start a relationship. That leads to another pregnancy that Reader learns about while walking the Road. I’m not very particular on the in betweens. I just want everyone in the coven to get some a happy ending.

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[hellofeanor]

Hey who wants some wacky Haladriel meta? Nobody? Perfect, you're getting it anyway. :)

So last night I was chatting with @elrenniel about normal topics like elf adultery (as one does) and started thinking. In Laws and Customs, Tolkien points out that elves can immediately tell when other elves are married, and it's impossible to lie about such a thing. The truth is evident in the married person's eyes and voice. Presumably, the Ainur would have this ability to perceive marital status as well, since Manwë is so invested in the sanctity of elf marriage. But mortals would not.

Now, let's keep this in mind when delving into a thought experiment about Galadriel and Halbrand. Because, ladies, what's the number one tried and true go-to excuse you give a dude when you even get the barest sideways POSSIBILITY of a hint that he might be kind of potentially into you, maybe in the future? You bring up your partner. Casually. In conversation. Right off the bat. "Yeah so my boyfriend and I..."

Sitting on a raft alone with some rando seems like a great time to set levels and start chatting about your husband. Just saying.

Amazingly, Galadriel never does this. It takes chatting with bloody THEO (who, let's be real, also obviously has a crush on her) to haul out the husband line to let him down gently because he's like fourteen and needs a soft reality check. But she never once mentions her marital status to Halbrand.

Could this be because she assumes Halbrand already picked up on the fact that she's married just through their interactions, as another elf would? Doubt it. Who was basically the leading expert in mortal-manology throughout the First Age? Finrod. Who was Galadriel incredibly close with during the First Age? Finrod. Who would have undoubtedly told Galadriel seven thousand neat facts about mortals whether she wanted to hear them or not? Finrod. "Hey Galadriel, did you know that mortals can't tell if somebody else is married? And sometimes they lie about it for personal gain?! Wild, right?!!" And Galadriel's like, "Wow, cool, this is never going to be relevant to my personal life I bet."

Lmao.

So, she knows mortal Halbrand can't tell she's married. She would have to tell him. Yet she doesn't. Why? My theory is she wanted to keep him in the back burner friendzone. You know. Just in case. And if he ever does get too forward in the future when she's not feeling it, she can always pull out the shocked "but I'm married!" excuse at that point and feign ignorance. Seriously, who could ever have known that mortals can't immediately tell she's married by looking into her eyes and listening to her voice? That's so weird. Must be an elf-only thing.

And thus, Galadriel thinks she has it all figured out and is keeping Halbrand on call in case she gets bored on that long sea voyage from Númenor to Middle-earth or whatever.

U N F O R T U N A T E L Y.

Halbrand, at this point still awaiting his big Scooby-Doo villain unmasking, is no mere mortal man and can of course tell immediately that she's married. Even before he learns who she is. And unfortunately-er, he'd also know that she knows mortals can't tell marital status. So what does that say in his mind when Galadriel doesn't bust out the husband line?

"She is totally into me."

If she weren't, she would have told him up front that she's married. The fact that she doesn't means, pretty explicitly, that she's counting on "mortal" Halbrand not picking up on things that elves would clearly see. He knows that she's married, and also knows that she's making a dedicated choice not to reveal that she's married. For him. Because she thinks he can't tell.

"She is so totally into me."

Which brings us to my bottom line interpretation, which is as follows:

Galadriel is stringing Halbrand along and keeping her options open.

Halbrand 100% interprets this as Galadriel being DTF.

And by the way, circling back, what did Tolkien actually say about elf adultery? He said elves cannot take the spouse of another by force. Or by trickery, since it's immediately evident when somebody is married. But he didn't say boo about married elves knowingly cheating, so presumably that's still on the table. Strangely, he also gives absolutely no details on what would happen if a married elf tried to hide her relationship status in order to hook up with a corrupted Maia masquerading as a scruffy mortal. A serious oversight on his part.

[chocolatepot]

I was working on a post about "cozy fiction", but then I realized I needed to take a step back and talk about the Romance genre, because I've come to realize that a lot of people in fandom don't have as much experience with it as I used to think.

(I'm capitalizing "Romance" here to distinguish it as a genre from the concept of romance-as-in-love-stories, hopefully that will be clear going forward.)

Traditionally, Romance has been a strictly defined genre with rules that were partly convention and partly publisher-imposed. For instance, there were two types of romance novel: short and long. The longs are those thick mass-market paperbacks that used to have painted clinch covers, written to stand alone or possibly as a series of fewer than ten books by one author. (Lisa Kleypas. Eloisa James. Bridgerton.) These are generally about 100k words. The short books, "category romance" of half the length, would be popped out by a company like Mills & Boon or Harlequin, dozens a month, somewhat disposable, not typically marketed as being by a particular author. If you've worked at a library book sale, you've probably seen at least one box come in that's just stuffed full of these.

Subgenres are very much marketing tools, each with their own readerships and fandoms who use the labels to find out what to read next. Contemporary, historical, time-travel, science fiction, "inspirational" (overtly Christian); LGBTQ+ romance, Black romance, and YA romance are newer additions to the roster. There's both fantasy romance and paranormal romance, the latter usually being urban fantasy with vampires and werewolves and the former being high fantasy. These can be broken down even more into very particular sub-sub-genres, like shifter romance, billionaire romance, etc. And then there's "erotic romance", which can in theory be any of these but is particularly characterized by having longer and more detailed sex scenes. (The level of detail we typically get in E-rated fics, basically. Despite the reputation Romance has for being "basically porn"/"porn for middle-aged straight women", the sex is usually not that porny.)

The expectations for each subgenre can be very strict, depending on the publisher. For instance, Mills & Boon's "True Love" line requires a "relatable heroine", a hero who is strong and successful, an aspirational feel in glamorous, modern locations, and sex that's hot and emotional; they even list appropriate tropes for True Love series novels to be based on, like marriages of convenience, secret babies, friends to lovers, and "falling for the boss". But even outside of this kind of literal requirement, there are all kinds of informal ones -- what the reader expects, based on common tropes and clichés.

In Romance, the main plotline must be the romance. That sounds obvious, but please think about it a moment! That diagram you remember from English lit class is supposed to be filled in with plot beats that relate to the progress of the relationship: the inciting incident relates to the couple's chemistry, the rising action is their increasing intimacy, the climax is the point of greatest tension and release in their love story, and the denouement shows that they stay together and have a happy ending. (There MUST be a happy ending. Literally must. There have been many fights about this in Romance fandom, the occasional new author thinks they're doing something clever by not having them be together at the end, it causes drama and yelling every time. HEA is a requirement.)

There can be subplots relating to external issues, but ultimately these must serve the development of the romance rather than simply being an interesting story. Working on the mystery gives the couple reasons to be alone together, solving it inserts an obstacle into the relationship or resolves the misunderstanding. The female main character's family's financial troubles give her a need to get married and a secret she has to keep from the male main character so that he can think she's lying about something else later, but it's still not going to be a book about an impoverished gentry family's path to solvency.

And to some extent, it just comes down to a formula. The main characters need to be introduced within the first couple of chapters, if not the first chapter. Both romantic leads need to have their own point-of-view chapters so that the reader can get to know them equally, see how they like or dislike each other, and have a front-row seat to the misunderstandings in their heads. There is no official declaration of where the first kiss should be, or the first sex scene, but if you read enough of the same subgenre, you'll see that these things tend to happen around the same time in each book.

Romance is a wildly successful industry. I don't know the statistics, but I've heard that it helps to subsidize other branches of publishing. Romance fandom is much like other fandoms, but in my experience they treat the books themselves the way other media fandoms treat fic: where I might post, "hey, does anyone have good recs for OFMD fics with fake dating and mutual pining?" (ie with a specific fandom), Romance fans are more likely to ask on Smart Bitches Trashy Books or r/Romance "does anyone have good recs for Regencies with enemies to lovers?" The individual characters don't matter too much, though reccers might note specifics that readers might find objectionable, like "at the beginning, the duke is really insulting and you might have a hard time with that" or "fyi, the marriage of convenience in this one doesn't happen until two-thirds of the way through".

And, possibly because Romance is so successful and its fanbase is so strong, this is starting to bleed into other genres. The invention of "romantasy" is fascinating to me! Nobody can 100% define it, but my go would be that it's fantasy fiction with a plot that focuses heavily on romance, but that if marketed as Romance would probably get reviewed negatively for having too much non-romance plot (and as fantasy is still going to get some fantasy fans complaining that there's too much romance). I could also talk about stuff bleeding in but that's really another issue altogether. And this bleeding-out is where we're starting to get that culture clash of people being irritated with book promo that focuses on the tropes within the story. In Romance and now romantasy, where it's understood that the plot of a book is at base "two people meet, fall in love, struggle, then finally confess to each other and have a happy ending", the tropes in who the characters are (wallflower, rake, single mom, cowboy, admin assistant, billionaire) and how their romance goes (enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, cinderella story) are crucial to figuring out what you want to read. With people not used to Romance, or not realizing that they're being shown books that are based on the romance formula, the tropes appear to be shallow gibberish.

And I think this is enough to set up my cozy fiction post, thank you for reading. Next time on "Cassidy lectures people in a longpost ..."

[butterflylullaby-lie]

Thank you @wingedrabbit22, as they gave me a great idea. Unicrons place in the Cult au! (If you want to know the full idea plz go read the notes from my ask for headcanons on the au! It can be found here) but basically Unicron is either (or both) annoyed by the fact that Starscream is effectively immortal and just won’t die. SO!

-Unicron is indeed annoyed and pissed off by the fact Starscream can’t die, but you know what pisses Primus off more? Him calling dibs. Unicorn, as compared to Primus, who is more hands off type dad, is like nah I’ll be that asshole dad who’s a constant in your life and never lets you forget it. Starscream messes up? Unicorn is there to be like “it’s okay champ you’ll get em next time” while laughing his aft off. This pisses off Primus who is like “gtf away from my CHILDREN” thus ensues the custody battle of the ages. Unicron is doing it mostly for shits and giggles and Primus just wants him to leave his creation alone. Starscream would like to be emancipated.

And continuing a conversation with @wingedrabbit22, we got an extension post of the custody battle lol with Optimus and Megatron getting involved (against their will)

- I’m not big of a Megastar or StarOp shipper these days, but I would love to see Primus and Unicron just goading the two into being like “if you marry Starscream I get parental rights” type crap. Starscream does not want and would like to not be in the middle of a powerhouse matchmaking session thank you 😂 the cult is also lowkey taking sides like it’s twilight and having open debates (streamed and live) about who would be a better spouse. It’s crack on crack.

This is lifted right from the notes so don’t come for me on the formatting. I just want to share this idea cause it’s great and I love it. If you want full context go to the link above tho!! ❤️❤️⭐️⭐️

[halazia-cb]

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Packages:

Package 1: Mysterious Man AU

You are sitting at a bar, trying to forget your long day. Despite your constant refusal, the man at the bar won’t take a hint to leave you alone.

“Would you stop,” you said, pushing the stranger’s hand off your knee.

Your eyes scan the crowded room before locking with a handsome man sitting with friends around a table. The man offered an apologetic smile. You drop your eyes and gather your things, preparing to leave.

The obnoxious man grabs your arm. Before you can spin and reject the stranger again, he is pulled away by the handsome man from across the bar. The stranger’s head is slammed into the bar with a sickening crack.

“Hi, join me for a drink?” The man asked you with a smile.

Package 2 : Royalty AU

Your family was invited to the kingdom of Halazia to arrange the marriage between you and the son of the King and Queen.

You and and the prince have never met until today. Your parents are in a room making arrangements for the marriage while you have been accompanied to the large castle garden by some maids who were serving tea.

He had until now avoided meeting you because he was against the marriage

“I can't avoid them if they live in the castle... damn..." he whispers under his breath, then heads out into the garden to approach you.

He takes a deep breath expecting the typical spoiled brat who can't wait to become royalty, snobbish and stupid.

Package 3: Nightclub AU

You are a worker at a popular spicy club and happen to be his favorite worker.

One night you were attacked and called into work so no one would see your bruises.

He arrives at the club and rejects any worker trying to “entertain” him, asking where you were. When he heard you were sick, he left and found a restaurant in the middle of the night to buy you soup. You beg him not to because you don’t want to be seen like that.

He refuses to leave until you at least accept to soup to know you are ok.

Package 4: Medieval AU

You are a noble in the big and flourishing Halazia empire. You have been living with your family peacefully until one day when you attending a ball held by the royal family, you happened to caught the fancy of the Prince, who is known for his selfishness across the country. He had attempted to ask for your hand in marriage, in which you politely rejected him every single time.

Feeling humiliated by your rejections, the Prince took revenge on you by telling his father, the Emperor, to marry you off to the notorious Grand General, who is staying at the North Wall currently.

The Prince thought that your life will become miserable by being married to a man knows for his cruelty and who is basically living in a cold and unforgiving area of the border.

Package 5: Boxer AU

You are at home, flipping through tv channels, only to see him, your ex, on the sports channel.

He had just won a championship match, holding the championship belt proudly as the camera panned around, you see his back, it is still covered in tattoos, but you see a new one, one he didn’t have when you were dating . It was your first name with his last name tattooed in pretty writing. You approach to the TV screen, making sure, and it is really your name.

A few hours later, your phone rings with a familiar number, a number you typically ignore.

Package 6: Celebrity AU

You entered the office, looking around awkwardly. It was your first interview with such a big celebrity of Korea. All you knew was that you would be paid a lot for this interview. She was nervous and awkwardly straightening her hair, sitting in a chair and waiting for him to appear.

When he entered the office, the air suddenly became heavy despite the friendly expression on his face. You were sure that you blushed.

"Your first interview, huh?" he smiled slyly, offering his hand.

Package 7: Bad Boy AU

The two of you have been dating for a few months now, and you've always acted like a typical shy person. Your cute red cheeks, eyes downcast and fingers intertwined in an awkward lock.

It was incredibly endearing to him, and he thought he'd found the perfect quiet one for him… but now, as he lay on the bed with his hands tied to the headboard, he wondered if his judgment was correct…

This option is mainly nsfw. Anything goes

Package 8:

Build your own

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Say "This was a mistake" + [safe word] 

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[nitrateglow]

Favorite films discovered in 2024

This year, I focused more on rewatching films I hadn't seen in a long time rather than racking up new titles. However, I still encountered plenty of new faves, many of them movies that have been on my watchlist for years. Here are the top twenty.

But first, some interesting patterns in this year's list...

Most represented decade: 1960s

Earliest film represented: 1932

Newest film represented: 1999

Creatives who show up more than once: Robert Mulligan, Walter Matthau, Boris Karloff

The Window (dir. Ted Tetzlaff, 1949)

A young boy (Bobby Driscoll) living in a squalid NYC apartment building witnesses his neighbors (Paul Stewart and Ruth Roman) committing a murder. Unfortunately, the kid's penchant for tall tales prevent anyone from believing him-- except for the killers, eager to alleviate themselves of an inconvenient witness.

Precious few thrillers earn the moniker “Hitchcockian” as well as this intense little gem from RKO. The Hitchcock vibes make sense when you consider Hitchcock’s cinematographer from Notorious was in the director’s chair and the source material was written by Cornell Woolrich, also responsible for the short story behind Rear Window. Augmented by on-location photography of New York City and a grimy, desolate sense of urban decay, The Window is both a great suspense yarn and classic film noir. Despite having a kid for a lead character, the film pulls no punches: both its small-time crook villains and the city setting feel palpably dangerous.

My Neighbors the Yamadas (dir. Isao Takahata, 1999)

The Yamadas, an average middle-class Japanese family, navigate the perils of sharing a television set, a kid going missing during a shopping trip, awkward wedding speeches, and other misadventures.

Between the original Studio Ghibli directorial duo of Hayao Miyazaki and Isao Takahata, Miyazaki will always be the more popular filmmaker, but I think Takahata’s films are more intellectually and emotionally rewarding. This is not meant as a hit on Miyazaki’s undeniable greatness, but Takahata’s movies are far more challenging. That being said, My Neighbors the Yamadas is a lighter entry in his filmography, a slice of life comedy about the eponymous family and their shenanigans in modern Japan. However, beneath the whimsical humor runs an undercurrent of melancholy, an awareness of the transience of life in both its lovely and absurd moments. To date, it gets my vote for the most underrated Ghibli film.

A New Leaf (dir. Elaine May, 1971)

After squandering his ample inheritance, a middle-aged New York layabout (Walter Matthau) decides to marry an eccentric botanist (Elaine May) for her money then murder her ASAP.

Elaine May only directed a few films, but the two I’ve seen—this and the long-maligned Ishtar—were a lot of fun. A New Leaf is the better film though, far more focused and consistently funny. I don't usually belly laugh when watching a movie at home alone, but I did several times here. Even just thinking about some of the things that happen in this film can make me start laughing again. I understand the existing version was not May’s preferred cut and she felt it was butchered by the studio. Even so, this is a great movie regardless of that and one I really want to rewatch soon.

Cash on Demand (dir. Quentin Lawrence, 1961)

Uptight, unpleasant bank manager Harry Fordyce (Peter Cushing) is the boss from hell to his employees, but to criminal extraordinaire Gore Hepburn (Andre Morrel), he's the key to a successful heist. Posing as an insurance representative to get access to Fordyce's office, Hepburn tells the manager he's holding his wife and child, whose lives will be forfeit if he doesn't help him relieve the bank of ninety thousand pounds.

Ho, ho, ho, guess who's got a new Christmas classic to enjoy every year? Cash on Demand is not only a strangely enervating riff on A Christmas Carol's basic set-up (a miserable man is spiritually redeemed through an encounter with ghosts-- or in this case, bank robbers), but it's one of the best, tightest one-location thrillers I have ever seen. I genuinely had no idea where the story was going and found myself in absolute agony as the noose grew tighter around our protagonist's neck. It's a testament to both the writing and Peter Cushing's detailed, very human performance that this film is the emotionally powerful piece of work that it is, and not just a fun, clockwork heist yarn.

Letter from an Unknown Woman (dir. Max Ophuls, 1948)

While trying to evade a duel, an aging playboy (Louis Jordan) receives a letter from a dying woman (Joan Fontaine) who claims he was the love of her life. The letter recounts the details of their love affair, which was the centerpiece of this woman's life and only a mere erotic interlude in his.

The best way to describe this movie is lush romantic melodrama married to a bitter, emotionally brutal tale of a life wasted. The movie is heartbreaking but beautifully shot and performed. I’m not always the biggest fan of Fontaine, but she is fantastic here. Also, I need to watch more Max Ophuls.

Sudden Fear (dir. David Miller, 1952)

A middle-aged playwright (Joan Crawford) thinks she’s found love with a would-be matinee idol (Jack Palance)—instead she realizes she’s being targeted by her new hubby, who only wants her wealth. But he mistakes her emotional vulnerability for a lack of discernment—and a lack of desire to get even.

I like my women-in-peril thrillers when they feature clever heroines driven to survive whatever nightmare their antagonists throw at them and Sudden Fear is amazing in this regard. I know everyone loves Joan Crawford best in Mildred Pierce, but I was floored by her performance here, especially in the dialogue-free scenes. There are campy moments (which I adore), but the story is emotionally compelling and I not only wanted Joan's character to survive, but to thrive post-shitty marriage.

Thieves Like Us (dir. Robert Altman, 1974)

Young lovers Bowie (Keith Carradine) and Keechie (Shelley Duvall) yearn for a white picket fence, a quiet porch, and a case of Cokes (probably because that's all they drink in this film). Too bad Bowie is an escaped convict tied up with bank robbers. Too bad it's the Great Depression. At least there's plenty Coke. Want a Coke?

Most films set in the past do not as painstakingly recreate bygone worlds as strongly as Thieves Like Us. Set in Depression era Mississippi, this film captures the harsh, bleak reality and romantic, consumerist fantasies of its star-cross’d leads, played with sensuous naivete by Keith Carradine and the late, great Shelley Duvall. This is more than just yet another Bonnie and Clyde riff—it’s a tragedy about the elusive American Dream, with snippets of radio music, programs, and ads acting as a Greek chorus in a truly inspired touch. Robert Altman can be an acquired taste, but this is easily my favorite of his films to date.

Targets (dir. Peter Bogdanovich, 1968)

The paths of an aging horror star (Boris Karloff) and a psychotic mass shooter (Tim O'Kelly) cross at a drive-in theater.

Targets was not what I expected: it's a threeway character study between the disheartened horror star, the psychotic shooter, and 1960s America itself. To be honest, you could remake this movie now with a former ‘80s slasher star making the same musings and it would still seem credible—but then of course, you wouldn’t have Karloff in one of the best performances of his career. Targets is rendered even more chilling by its docudrama style. The violence shown isn’t sensationalistic, but presented in clinical detail, making it feel more authentic. Gorier films haven’t frightened me as much as this slow-burn character study.

Losing Ground (dir. Kathleen Collins, 1982)

Despite finding pleasure in research and theory, philosophy professor Sara Rogers (Seret Scott) envies the escatic nature of her painter husband, Victor (Bill Gunn). Their difference in temperaments and Victor's adulterous straying also strain the marriage. However, once Sara takes a job performing a sensuous, emotional role in a student film to get in touch with her own artistic side, Victor grows suspicious and jealous in turn.

Losing Ground was sold to me as a film about a crumbling marriage, but it's more than that. It might be more accurate to call it a portrait of self-discovery, a woman extending beyond her comfort zone to live more fully. I found myself strongly relating to Sara-- like her, I have a creative side I've often been timid to share, being more comfortable with the mind than the body. Being an independent film, it eschews the Hollywood histrionics and melodrama that would normally accompany this subject matter and it's paced perfectly at 90 minutes. Though filmed in the early '80s, the film only played the film festival circuit and never enjoyed a proper theatrical release. Only in 2015 was it rediscovered and then released on home video. The director Kathleen Collins died young, but this film stands a testament to her passion and talent.

Cactus Flower (dir. Gene Saks, 1969)

A middle-aged dentist (Walter Matthau) who poses as a married man to fend off romantic commitment decides to buckle down and wed his much younger girlfriend (Goldie Hawn, looking like a mod Tinker Bell). However, when she insists on speaking with his made-up wife, he recruits his no-nonsense nurse (Ingrid Bergman) into the charade.

Cactus Flower is what I often call a transitional film: released in the late ‘60s, it has one foot in the classical style of Old Hollywood and another in the more liberated counterculture that was shooting out hits like Easy Rider and The Graduate. Directed with unexciting competence by Gene Saks, Cactus Flower’s success largely comes from Ingrid Bergman, Goldie Hawn, and Jack Weston. Bergman I could watch in anything, so I’m biased perhaps, but she walks the fine line between funny and touching as the lonely woman who finds emotional liberation through her roleplaying. The scene where she gets groovy on the dance floor is a highlight of her entire screen career and no, I AM NOT KIDDING.

The Black Room (dir. Roy William Neill, 1935)

Two aristocratic brothers (both Boris Karloff) are at odds over the love of a young woman (Marian Marsh) and an ancient prophecy forecasting the end of their bloodline.

Boris Karloff dives into a double role in this deliciously gothic melodrama. Columbia pulled out all the stops for this one: it drips with sumptuous set design and expressionistic lighting. I was particularly taken by this film’s slightly tongue-in-cheek approach to a more 18th century mode of gothic terror. It goes for full-blooded melodrama with its innocent maidens, secret dungeons, lecherous villain, and ancient curses. It’s as close to a 1930s Castle of Otranto adaptation as we’ve got and by God, I'm grateful for its existence.

Freud: The Secret Passion (dir. John Huston, 1962)

In the late 1880s, young psychiatrist Sigmund Freud (Montgomery Clift) probes into the inner lives of his "hysterical" patients to discover the roots of their mental illnesses. However, these journeys into the subconscious worlds of others bring him into uncomfortable contact with his own demons.

Listening to a podcast episode on John Houston’s Key Largo led me to works of his I hadn’t heard of, such as Freud. I was initially skeptical it could be good. Biopics are my least favorite genre, but this film isn’t so much a biopic as a psychological drama in which Freud is the protagonist and some of his ideas are illustrated through his interactions with the other characters. Instead of wasting time being some melodrama ABOUT Freud the man (the route most biopics go regarding their subjects), it’s about his theories and philosophy, which is a far more interesting approach. The result is a probing, intellectual work. I’m not sure how close Montgomery Clift’s characterization is to the real Freud, but the real star of the show is Houston’s direction, a resurrection of German expressionist aesthetics blended with stark realism.

Paris is Burning (dir. Jennie Livingston, 1990)

This documentary covers 1980s NYC ball culture, where Black and Latino members of the LGBT+ community vogue and perform.

Documentaries are not usually my thing, but Paris is Burning was a longtime resident of my watchlist and I am glad I finally got around to seeing it. It has a time capsule quality, capturing a long-vanished 1980s New York City and the LGBT+ community living there at the time. Obviously, there is a lot of meditation on gender identity, sexuality, and the importance of community in a world hostile to your very existence, but I was also interested by the film's presentation of the materialism and consumption of the Reagan era.

Candyman (dir. Bernard Rose, 1992)

A graduate student (Virginia Madsen) studying urban myths unwittingly summons the Candyman (Tony Todd), the hook-handed ghost of a Black painter who was lynched decades ago.

I expected fun slasher nonsense and instead got a gorgeous, unsettling, modern gothic masterpiece that only occasionally dips its toes into schlock. Candyman is ethereal in all the right ways despite being suffused with despairing urban gloom. I was not surprised to find the script was adapted from a Clive Barker story—like Barker’s The Hellbound Heart (adapted into the Hellraiser films), Candyman is chilling yet eerily beautiful. The moment I finished watching it, I knew this was one I would be itching to revisit. There’s just so much going on regarding race, class, and memory in America. Also, Tony Todd’s voice is a damn treasure.

Merrily We Go to Hell (dir. Dorothy Arzner, 1932)

An alcoholic playwright (Frederic March) and his long-suffering wife (Sylvia Sidney) decide to have an open marriage. It doesn't work out well for either of them.

Merrily We Go to Hell is a sneaky piece of work. Reading the synopsis, one expects the usual salacious pre-code melodrama. The first scenes even resemble your usual romantic comedy, with our central couple having a meet-cute. The actual movie is much more complicated. It's about a married couple thinking love is enough to make their union work despite the husband's alcoholism. However, this idea proves erroneous and attempts to numb the pain through hedonism and extramarital vengeance just pour gasoline on the fire. The emotional honesty here is astonishing and even the "happy ending" isn't so uncomplicated when you think about it. So far, this is my favorite film of director Dorothy Arzner.

Up the Down Staircase (dir. Robert Mulligan, 1967)

An idealistic young teacher (Sandy Dennis) gets her first position at an inner-city high school. However, she finds her enthusiasm worn down by the school system's bureaucracy and the many psychological troubles of her students and fellow faculty.

Ever since I watched Four Seasons a few years ago, I’ve been intrigued by Sandy Dennis. No matter the role, I find her eccentric yet vulnerable screen presence compelling. Up the Down Staircase was Dennis’ first starring vehicle and an unsentimental look at the teaching profession. Having worked as a teacher and in similar jobs in the past, I related strongly to the main character’s compassion fatigue and her frustrated desire to help make her community a better place. While not a cheery film, it is ultimately an optimistic one, even if that optimism is cautious. And of course, Dennis is damn great as always, whetting my appetite for more of her work.

They Shoot Horses, Don’t They? (dir. Sydney Pollack, 1969)

In the thick of the Great Depression, a group of desperate contestants sign up for a grueling dance marathon with a hefty cash prize. Greed, sexual exploitation, health problems, and crushing despair eventually complicate the exhibition.

This movie is so bleak you’ll be just as exhausted as the characters by the tragic finish. I know that doesn’t sound like much of a recommendation, but this is powerful stuff. It does what a great tragedy should do: make you emphasize with the characters and go out into the world more empathetic toward the people around you and more critical of a society in which such awful conditions could be permitted. And like Targets, it’s depressing that this movie’s themes remain relevant to American culture.

Flash Gordon (dir. Frederick Stephani and Ray Taylor, 1936)

A himbo polo player (Buster Crabbe), a middle-aged scientist in hot pants (Frank Shannon), and an ingenue in a blonde wig (Jean Rogers) must save the Earth from a galactic emperor.

Yes, I’m counting a film serial as a single unit on this list. In this corny, breathless saga can be found the seeds of so many modern blockbuster spectacles. The old school space opera aesthetic is always a joy and I love seeing what George Lucas borrowed from the comic book plot and fantastic images for his Star Wars films. Also, the serial is surprisingly horny for a product released after the death knell of the pre-code era, so that’s fascinating too. I watched the episodes, one a night, usually before a feature film, to recreate at least in part the conditions in which old serials were viewed. I highly recommend that approach if you're interested in watching these kind of films-- NEVER binge them.

Silkwood (dir. Mike Nichols, 1983)

Karen Silkwood (Meryl Streep), a union activist and metallurgy worker at a plutonium processing plant, discovers both she and many of her co-workers have been contaminated with high levels of radiation due to blatant safety violations. Rather than remedy the problem, her employers are determined to keep her quiet, but Karen refuses to back down.

Meryl Streep's performance in Silkwood finally showed me what all the hype around her is about. What an astonishing, natural performance-- I forgot I was watching an actor every moment. As for the overall film, it's one of the stronger docudramas out there (as this film was based on a true story). It isn't just a preachy message piece and it allows Silkwood to be both a heroic figure and a flesh and blood human being with flaws like anyone. The domestic drama involving her lover (Kurt Russell) and lesbian roommate (Cher, who also gives an incredible performance) is almost as compelling as the main story. Though released in the early '80s, it feels like a late manifestation of the paranoia thriller genre of the decade before.

Love with the Proper Stranger (dir. Robert Mulligan, 1963)

When a one-night stand with a jazz musician (Steve McQueen) leaves her pregnant and at risk of upsetting her very Catholic family, an innocent sales clerk (Natalie Wood) tracks down her lover and demands he help her get an abortion.

Love with the Proper Stranger is such a unique piece of work that I can forgive the elements that dissatisfy me (like the ending). Wood and McQueen's romance starts out acidic and slowly becomes tender over the course of their bizarre misadventure, and the film itself shifts through several moods. Sometimes it feels like an urban drama, other times a romantic comedy. But it somehow holds together, perhaps because of the chemistry between the lead actors.

What were your favorite film discoveries in 2024?

[maxdibert]

Tonks feels that she is obsessed with Remus to the point that she prefers to die with him in the war with Remus than to raise Teddy, whom she left with his mother Andromeda Tonks.

Am I the only one who felt that way about Remadora? I don't like the couple; they would seem very toxic to me in real life, Tonks being emotionally dependent on Remus.

And let's not mention the age difference, I don't like Tonks' insistence on being with that useless Remus.

Do you like the remadora ship? Sorry if I asked, but I'm new to your blog.

I find this couple extremely problematic for many reasons, and honestly, I don’t think the decision to pair Tonks with Remus was planned from the beginning, it felt incredibly forced. But above all, it led to the complete erasure of Tonks as a character and of her independence as a woman and narrative subject.

Tonks is introduced as a skilled Auror, charismatic, full of personality, and with a narrative presence of her own. She is an independent character, and that individuality is shattered the moment she falls in love with Lupin. She basically turns into his lapdog, following him around, desperate for his attention. I find it deeply troubling that a female character is turned from a fully realised subject into a mere extension of a male character with greater narrative weight. But what’s worse is that Rowling’s concept of love seems to involve a young woman essentially harassing an older man and completely disregarding his boundaries. Because Remus tells her “no”, and she refuses to accept that no. And no means no, no matter how much you like someone or how little you’re convinced by their reasons for turning you down. But just as Rowling frames Harry/Ginny as the ultimate couple—despite Ginny having stalked Harry her entire life—or portrays James and Lily as peak romantic love even though James literally blackmailed Lily into going out with him, she repeats the same toxic, problematic dynamics when it comes to Remus and Tonks.

Apparently, for Rowling, love means overriding people’s boundaries and consent, or at least putting them on hold “in the name of love”. There’s definitely room here to dig deeper and analyse just how much her view of romance is shaped by patriarchal ideals, but that’s not the point right now.

What matters is that Tonks goes from being a promising young woman with a career as an Auror to a girl chasing and chasing after a man thirteen years older than her, a man who says no repeatedly. But she doesn’t care. And the most outrageous part is that it’s not just her, everyone in the Order seems to agree that Remus should accept the relationship, regardless of his reluctance. There’s group pressure, because obviously, how could anyone possibly want to be alone in the Harry Potter universe? As if people couldn’t be happy without their heterosexual partner and nuclear family. In the end, Remus gives in, in the middle of this toxic, borderline non-consensual mess, and Tonks stops being Tonks. She becomes Remus’s partner and the future mother of his child.

Exactly what happens to Fleur too: a character we meet as strong, independent, smart—a Triwizard Champion, no less—who once she gets married, is reduced to a background wife. Everyone seems to forget she was once brave enough to move to another country, work there, and learn a new language. Once she’s married, she becomes just “Bill’s wife”. This is a recurring pattern in Rowling’s world: women seem to lose all ambition and independence once they get married, and they’re not allowed to exist as individuals beyond their husbands. Tonks suffers this fate exactly, her role as an Auror or Order member becomes irrelevant. Now she only exists through Lupin and for Lupin’s development. She is made entirely subordinate to him.

And it doesn’t stop there. She also becomes part of one of the most grotesque subplots in the whole series: Tonks is 24 years old (and I’m sorry, but a 24-year-old getting pregnant by a man pushing 40 is problematic whether people like it or not), and she gets knocked up by this greying man, and he abandons her. It’s the most disgusting subplot in all seven books. A cishet man gets a much younger woman pregnant and bails because he’s scared. AND THE NARRATIVE FORGIVES HIM. Rowling actually has the audacity to portray Remus as if he’s repented, and suddenly everything’s fine.

Tonks is turned into this pitiful, spineless woman with no self-respect who just forgives the man who left her in the middle of a pregnancy—with all the emotional, psychological, and physical toll that pregnancy takes on women—because he was too much of a coward. A man abandons you and you practically thank him for coming back??? It’s insulting. It’s a slap in the face to women, plain and simple. That whole scene is dripping with patriarchal, macho nonsense. It reads like something out of a trashy soap opera.

And then she gives birth and goes off to war, postpartum, to die. That’s not bravery, that’s J.K. Rowling being a piece of shit and not respecting her female characters.

So no, I can’t stand Remus/Tonks. To me, they’re the epitome of a toxic, deeply problematic couple.

[auspicioustidings]

The Wild Prince

Blue Blood Part 1

Summary: You are the Duchess of a small Kingdom and your father trades you away for military aid.

@chai-isms made the mistake of saying they liked a royalty AU and this... sort of didn't turn out anything like I had actually planned 😂 So sort of royalty AU ish? Maybe? IDK it's basically just shameless smut.

Word Count: 2.6k

CW: Mention of abuse, smut

Part 2

At least they hadn't put you in a dungeon you had thought at first, but after a month this room was driving you mad. The servant that delivered you food would not talk with you, would not answer any of your questions about what was going to happen to you.

The war had been raging for two years, but it had been a far away thing at the start. It was something so totally removed from your life in your father's castle that you weren't even fully aware that your side had been losing. It was only when he had returned six months ago and the way he looked at you had changed that alarm bells sounded in the back of your mind. While you may have not had a mother to tell you of such things, you knew enough from the gossiping of the servants when they thought you were not listening that you were of age to marry and as you were on only child, your father should try and make a match.

It made you bristle a little to think of. You managed the household well, was it so important that it must have a man at the head when he was gone? 

And then the war had come to linger in your home, blanketing your days with the unease of something being kept from you. When your father had them pack you up into a carriage you raged at him, only earning a backhand straight across your cheek that left an angry mark, a thin line in the middle of the bruise from his ring having split the flesh. He had growled that this marriage was how you could finally be good for something, informing you then that he had remarried and his new wife was expecting a child. It had put you in a state of numb shock that lasted for the whole week of travel.

You had tried your whole life to be worthy of your family name, to be a good daughter. It had been for nothing. Your father was sending you off as some sort of bargaining chip to give him an edge in this war and there was not one thing that you could do about it. 

Now you could only pass your days gazing out of the window and wondering where on earth you were. If only you hadn't been in such a daze, had actually taken some study of your surroundings when you had arrived. You had been taken to the room in this tower immediately on your arrival, hardly able to discern what was happening through your hazy misery. There had been people around you knew, you remembered somewhat foggily a thumb dragged across the fading mark on your cheek. A low growl, a bitten off curse. 

As the night fell you sighed at the sound of the bath being drawn for you in the other room. This was the routine, every second night a bath was drawn for you, candle light dancing across the water when you sunk down into that wet heat. The servant would be gone and you would bathe alone. After a lifetime of having maids scrub at you it was strange at first, but peaceful in a way. 

Tonight was much the same, your muscles relaxing as you let your head roll back and closed your eyes. The sound of someone entering startled you, opening your eyes slowly to look over. You had been prepared to see the meek servant, not a young man dressed regally who did not seem the least bit concerned that he had walked in on you in such a vulnerable and improper state. 

You didn't yelp, the noise caught in your throat. Instead you curled in on yourself, trying to hide any view of the delicacies of your body from his gaze. He walked closer, kneeling by the bath so he was so close that you could smell the orange oil from his fingers. 

"Do you know who I am?" he asked with a gallant smile. It was as if he was some potential suitor at a revelry instead of a stranger in your bathing chambers.

You shook your head, feeling like the water had turned to freezing and locked up all of your muscles. He was handsome in a way that bordered on overwhelming, the brown of his skin and eyes catching the light from the candles to make him almost seem holy in the way he glowed. 

"My name is Kyle Garrick" he said and you felt the panic you had been holding down burst out of you.

Kyle Garrick, the 3rd Prince of the largest Kingdom on the continent, the one that bordered your tiny Kingdom to the East. People called him the Wild Prince, the one who should never have been legitimised. Prince Garrick was not the Queen's son, his mother was a Princess of a conquered kingdom who the King had grown fond of, his favourite concubine. They said that the war hero and King's right hand, Duke John Price, had trained the Wild Price himself. The Duke had won countless battles that changed the fortunes of the Kingdom with Prince Garrick by his side. They said the Duke's men were all monsters of some sort or other. The Wild Prince. The Ghost. The Blood Druid. The men were practically fairy stories to someone like you, not living and breathing people that you might one day meet. 

"Y-your royal highness! Please forgive my rudeness" you cried, head snapping down in supplication. You were a nobody to a Prince, some minor Duchess in a tiny bordering Kingdom. To be naked in front of him was wrong on so many levels. 

He laughed and the warmth of it sent shivers down your spine and tears to your eyes. Your eyes were fixed on the water as his fingers started to dip into it, moving back and forth and coming dangerously close to your legs still pinned to your chest.

"Look at me Duchess" he said and you found yourself giving a quick shake of your head. How could you look at him? You were shaking, naked, completely unworthy to be in his presence. 

"I said look at me" he ordered, your chin roughly pulled up with the hand not playing with the water near your legs. Gone was the gallant smile, his eyes now dancing with the amusement of a predator playing with their prey, your own eyes widening when you felt the brush of his fingers on your bare shin. The hand on your chin moved your head to the side.

"Good, your cheek has healed up. Couldn't have you getting married with a marked up face now could we?"

You didn't know what he wanted you to say. You were desperate to be anywhere but here, his presence was oppressive, bearing down on you and making your insides feel like they were fizzing. You had never felt so vulnerable. He didn't seem to mind your silence, only smirking and running his fingers up your shin more deliberately, taking delight in the way your pupils dilated and your breathing hitched. 

"That little bitch on the throne is blocking me from granting Ghost a proper title, I can imagine her face when she realises he's married the sole noble of the Western territory."

You could barely concentrate and he ran his hand up and down your leg, cresting over your knee occasionally causing the brush of his pinky against the swell of your breasts. That fizzing heightened and you involuntarily shifted, feeling a jolt between your legs from the friction of squeezing them together. You tried to focus, to keep your eyes on him and actually find out what was going on. If the whole situation wasn't already wildly improper you were sure you would have reacted with more horror at him addressing the Queen of this nation as a little bitch.

"I don't... Western territory? I am sorry your Royal Highness, I'm only a Duchess of the Kingdom to the West. I'm not a noble of any of the territories here," you said, not able to keep your voice even and instead hearing the breathlessness of it floating through the steam. 

"There is no Kingdom to the West Duchess, not after the Duke dared to mark what wasn't his to touch," the Prince cooed, as if it wasn't something world shattering to have said. Your Kingdom had been fighting a war with another small Kingdom for years only to be conquered in the space of a month. For you. They had conquered a whole Kingdom because of a mark on your cheek. 

You were overwhelmed, heart beating violently fast and frozen muscles going pliant. Plaint enough for him to apply pressure and shift your legs a little so they weren't completely pinned against your chest, allowing his exploration to continue past your knee and to your thigh. You heard a desperate whimper on the air, confused when you realised a second after it must have come from you. 

The Prince chuckled, shifting his body so that he could guide your head to his shoulder, holding a hand to your hair to keep you there. Your hands came to cling to his shirt, soaking it. You didn't know what was happening to you and it was grounding to be able to bury your face into him, cutting off your sight so you could try and get a handle of your other senses.

"That's it Duchess, just relax yeah? Ghost doesn't want to break you on your wedding night, so we're going to work on getting you nice and ready for him until then" he whispered right behind your ear. 

You didn't know what he meant. Nobody had ever prepared you for what happened on the wedding night, until a month ago you hadn't even known you were to be married so soon. When his hand finally dipped between your legs to cup at you there you cried out, tears spilling over at the new sensation. 

"Gods you've never-" he growled lightly, only stopping himself when he felt you tense to pause and readjust his voice to be gentler as he carefully ran a finger up your slit. "Bet they told you it was a sin, that you couldn't touch yourself here" he groaned when he felt the change in texture from water to arousal. 

They had their work cut out for them getting you ready for the Hunt. MacTavish would oversee the ritual of it obviously, would massage the divine oils into your flesh and dress you properly to be released into the woods after the wedding ceremony. When Ghost hunted you down and took what was rightfully his it would seal the marriage in the eyes of the old Gods, but he would be in a frenzy from the incense, incapable of preparing you properly in his pursuit of sinking into your heat and marking you his from the inside. So they would have to do what they could for you beforehand, spend the next week before the ceremony doing everything to keep you wet and wanting.

Kyle, clear headed and not under the influence of any of Johnny's bloody Druid smokes or potions, already found it hard to keep calm. The noises you were making, it was like a challenge being presented to him to get you to make more. Get you boneless and begging for it. When he started to make firm circles on your clit he got unbearably hard at the broken moan spilling from your lips as your hips started to move.

You felt like you were standing on the top of a tower looking over the edge, your stomach in knots. You had been told it was sinful to touch yourself in this way and in your efforts to be only the best daughter you could be you had taken heed and never tried. But this? Gods it was setting you ablaze. You could feel your insides clenching on nothing, feel your hips lifting to push against his fingers. He was speaking absolute sin into your ear and it made every sensation more intense, sending pulses of pleasure straight down to your core.

"Doing so well Duchess, pretty little clit taking it so well. Doesn't it feel good?"

You whined incoherently. You were desperate for something you couldn't name, feeling incomplete.

"I know Duchess, I know. Beautiful cunt wants something to clench on, greedy little thing" he said, fingers leaving your clit to trace down and circle your entrance, teasing with just the tip of his finger pushing against you before he growled and returned to your clit with renewed vigour. "You're going to cum for me. You're going to cum just like this tonight and tomorrow I'll make sure you get a finger inside to squeeze yeah? Fuck love going to get you to beg for my tongue, get Price to teach you how to ask real nice for it."

You couldn't really focus on the words anymore, too lost in the approaching crest of this wave. Kyle was mostly saying them for himself now anyway, hips rutting away against the side of the tub to try and get some relief. 

The orgasm was the most intense thing you recalled ever feeling, body going taught like a bowstring as the Prince brought you through it with his fingers. Your whole body felt like it had been flooded with sensation and then all at once you were boneless, limbs dead weights.

"Good girl Duchess."

You were shivering now, the water having cooled. When his hand left the water you went to move your head, but his other hand kept it there. You could hear the sound of skin on skin, his hot breath at your ear getting heavier and more strained before the sound stopped after a loud groan from him. You weren't sure what was going on, but it made you tingle a little again between your legs. 

His hand returned to the water, dipping in and out a few times before he finally let your head out from his shoulder. The dim light hurt your eyes after so long in darkness and before you could try and ask him what had just happened he scooped you out of the tub, not caring that he was getting his clothing completely soaked in the process.

The next 10 minutes were confusing and blurry in your mind, him drying you off and dressing you for bed like he was a servant rather than the Prince of a Kingdom that had just conquered yours. He tucked you in, bade you goodnight and made his way to the door. 

You thought that was it until he paused, tensed. Was he going to reveal that this had been a test and you had failed? Were you about to be thrown out? You had never felt so thoroughly ruined and anxious before. What did he want from you?

Kyle knew he shouldn't, but fuck it, what was the use in being a Prince if he couldn't indulge in the small things every once in a while. He whirled around, marched back to you in the bed and pressed a hard kiss to your lips before leaving again, making sure to lock the door behind him. Price was leaning on the wall in the hallway waiting for him, raising an eyebrow when taking in the absolute state Kyle was in.

"Fine" Kyle sighed, "I admit that this was a good idea, you were right and I should never have doubted you and your magnanimity. Happy?"

"Cheeky today Gaz?"

"Nah, just taking the piss. It was a good call Sir, she'll be good for Ghost."

He licked his lips on his way to his chambers and felt a rush of heat at the taste of you lingering there. Not just Ghost he thought.

[theninjamouse]

Apologies if you’ve already shared this, but could you tell us more about growing up in a cult?

Oh ho ho, I can for sure share!

It's not as crazy as like, a death cult or sacrifice the virgin to the old gods sort of deal, but I did grow up mormon. And it's become very clear in the last few years that mormonism is a cult. It's just hard to see it when you're inside, especially when you're born into it.

There's all the usual stuff that goes around, about special underwear, not being allowed to drink caffeine (until one day it was actually Allowed, but only for soda, coffee is still bad) and massive stigma about LGBTQ+ people. So I guess I'll just make a list of things I experienced/believed up until my early 20s

-Growing up as a kid in the church, we were taught hymns in primary school on sundays, such as 'I love to see the temple' which includes the lyrics 'I’ll prepare myself while I am young; This is my sacred duty' and Follow the Prophet, which basically tells us to listen to the prophet always and never question him

-Speaking of the temple, it's taught from an early age that if you do not get married in the mormon temple, when you die, you will not be with your family in heaven

-I was baptized at 8 years old. Because the belief is that when you turn 8, that's when sinning starts to actually count

-Baptisms for the dead! An actual practice this religion does. It involves people standing in for people who have died and being baptized. Because if you die without being baptized, you will never be allowed into heaven. So it is the 'duty' of the living members to stand in as a vessel for souls waiting to enter the top kingdom of heaven (there are multiple levels, I'll explain in a moment). The age to do this duty?

Twelve. 12 years old. And they say it's not a 'forced duty' but as a 12 year old, I never got the impression that I was allowed to say no. So, I went to the temple with other 12 to 16 year olds and was told to completely undress, put on the thin underwear given to me by the temple lady and the thick white jumpsuit that never fit quite right. Then, I lined up with the others and one by one, we would go into this room with basically a massive tub held up by gold oxen, and a grown man I sometimes knew, sometimes didn't, would put his hand on my middle back while I stood in the water and he would pray over me, using the names of the dead and then dunk me over and over again. This would happen about ten to fifteen times before I was done.

At the time, it seemed like an honor, even if it felt like nails scrapping across my skin just being in that place. And to even be 'allowed' to do this, each person who went in had to have a temple recommend. Which meant being an underage girl (girl at the time) alone in a room with a grown man, who would ask questions like 'Are you being holy? Are you following the commandments? Have you ever watched porn? Have you had sex with a boy?'

This interview process happened yearly, sometimes more for other things. Keep in mind, these were not trained professionals. These were just Some Guy that was selected to a leadership position. One of my bishops was a dentist. And he was in charge of asking us underage kids about our sexual health.

-Levels of heaven. There are 3 and as a kid, it was explained to me as seeing the lowest level like a tire swing, the middle one a basic playground park, and the top level an amusement park with all the best rides. If you weren't sealed to your family, if you weren't baptized, if you have never even heard of the church, you would never get into the highest level.

Hell was simply called Outer Darkness. Cause hell is a bad word, we don't use that word

-I was often scolded for choosing to participate in high school theater, because there would be performances on Sundays. Not by my mom! By random fucking people in the church. These same people basically shunned me the summer I did a temporary pink streak in my hair. Legit, they would ignore me in the halls, in the classrooms, in the chapel. While my hair had a light pink strip, I was scum.

-Sex and talk about relationships in general were a forbidden topic. The only times it was ever addressed was in the form of warning teenagers that if we so much as touched the opposite sex, then our own bodies would betray us into committing such terrible acts like 'petting' or WORSE. (What was this worse? well /cough cough/ you know). Dating was not allowed until 16 and even then, it had to be group dates. Every time, until you were 18.

-Once you turn...I think 14? I can't remember now, you would participate in events and I am completely blanking on the general term for it, but one of them was reenacting the 'Mormon Trek'. It was a way to remember the pain our ancestors in the church experienced on their journey to utah. So, we were forced to wear pioneer clothes and drag literal wagons for miles. Rain, heat, didn't matter. The year I did it, we had a small group of mostly girls and our two boys 'died' halfway through, leaving us to pull that stupid cart through rain and mud for the last several miles. In fucking missouri of all places. I was so covered in ticks afterwards I wanted to claw my skin off.

Wanna know why they don't do it anymore? Kids DIED. Of literal heatstroke. So they don't do it anymore

-Tithing. 10% of your money. Every month. If you don't pay it, you're not allowed to participate in several elements of church. When I was a teen, my family was so poor that we relied on food from the church. Awful, tasteless food that was meant to be emergency rations, the kind that pack on fat. And still, my family paid that 10%. We struggled and went without and STILL often do. And my asshole spawner will still pay anywhere from 8,000 to 10,000 A MONTH in tithing. Sorry kids, you can't participate in the school trip because we simply must put that money towards the church. Sorry kids, we're going to make you feel like actual scum if you dare to get sick because we can't afford to take you to the doctor.

-It is a literal, actual belief in the mormon church that people with dark skin were cursed by god. Because two 'evil' brothers of one of the 'og' mormon prophets tried to kill him, so god turned their skin black and forced them to be in exile, and all POC are descended from them.

I wish I was kidding.

-When I attended BYU, the students would all be divided into different 'wards' for sunday church. We then would have church in random school buildings, where of course, there was no 'reverence'. I remember being super upset at how rowdy the other kids would act. The leaders too would encourage dating among the members, like handing out free ice cream coupons that were only good if you had a date. Because the timeline of mormons is 'Graduate high school, go on a mission (mandatory if you were a boy), come back to college and be married within four years. Ideally sooner.

-The asshole spawner used to go on and on about how there was no point in planning for the future, because (and I quote, these are NOT my words) 'The Mexicans, the blacks and the gays are going to cause a war, there will be so much death, so much suffering and that is the only way to bring the Second Coming'. The Second Coming being when basically the world ends and all those who are 'worthy' get to go to heaven and everyone else dies and goes to outer darkness.

Which sounds like an absolutely insane take. But he would quote the bible, the book of mormon, teachings I had heard my whole life. So looking back, I guess it isn't surprising that I was suicidal in my late teens and twenties. I legit expected the world to end before I turned 30.

There's a lot of other stuff, but I've honestly blocked a lot of it from my mind. It got to the point where just walking into a church building would throw me into a full panic attack. The judgement, the staring, the pretend care from other members. Walking in late to church every sunday because my disabled brothers simply could not move fast enough in the morning would always bring the silent stares and the disapproval from everyone else. If I questioned things, if I dared to try and say that I didn't want to be a mother because I was terrified that my kids would disabled like my brothers, I was scolded and told that it was my duty to be a mother. My patriarchal blessing (which is a thing you get at 18) told me my life's purpose was to get married, have a ton of kids, work in family history and bring the gospel to other people. And if my kids turned out to be disabled like my brothers, it would be fine because that meant that they had a 'secure spot in heaven'. Same as my brothers. Never mind all the pain and struggle that came from all their medical issues, no, the important thing was that they were born, but keep them out of sight, they make other people in the church uncomfortable.

That's it. That was the entire point of me being on earth. According to some random, white old man.

I think one of the biggest turning points for me though was when it was announced that anyone who actively performed 'homosexual sins' would never be allowed to be a member. And if they had kids, if they had a partner with kids, whatever the case, those kids would also never be allowed to be members unless their disowned their parents.

And that hit my sense of justice like a fucking hammer. So, I haven't considered myself a mormon in well over 10 years at this point. There's a lot more to the bullshit that the church pulls, including the amount of money they take from their members under the guise of 'charity and supporting the church's needs'. Yeah, I'm sure that massive mall in Salt Lake City built entirely off of church funds was needed. Or the fact that no one EVER talked about how Joseph Smith had 40 WIVES. INCLUDING A 14 YEAR OLD GIRL and SEVERAL mother and daughter combos. No, cause that would've made for an awkward sunday school lesson.

The church prides itself on it's community. But what so many of those members don't realize is that the point of it is to create a sense of isolation from the rest of the world. The rest of the world is evil and filled with sin, but in the church you are SAFE, you are LOVED.

As long as you do exactly as you're told and never question anything that the old white men tell you.

Fuck the mormon church. I have spent the last 10 years unlearning all of the toxic bullshit that was forced on me. And I'm still not completely free of it. I don't know if I ever will be. I don't believe in god anymore. And even if there is one, I don't want his bullshit heaven anyway.

[locklyle1kanij]

I’m gonna make a list of my fav Lockwood and co fics in the hope that someone will see this list then reblog it and say “wow good choices! You should really check out this fic!”

(PLEASE I NEED FICS) (Warning these are basically all mainly Locklyle fics just letting you know)

(okay obviously we need Policy 8 on this list!)

“Policy 8” written by by: The_Biscuit_Agreement

Ongoing

Plot Summary :

Policy 8 was established in the hope of encouraging the birth of increasingly powerful agents. All agents 18 and over must accept the marriages DEPRAC assigns them. Agents between the ages of 16-18 can volunteer to enter the programme or else be forced into it due to minor illegal behaviour.
Lucy Carlyle volunteered. Anthony Lockwood was forced. In an effort to protect the two teenagers from being turned into pawns in the games of the rich and powerful, Barnes ensures Lucy and Lockwood are married. But just because they aren't stuck as pawns, doesn't mean the teenagers aren't forced into the same dangerous games.

“As London Burns” written by: ScienceFantasy93

Ongoing

Plot Summary:

An AU About locklyle in the middle of world war two with Lockwood fighting as a RAF pilot and with Lucy as a news reporter. (very angsty) (idk what else to say about it tbh… BUT I LOVE THIS FIC!)

“The bones of our past written” by: moon2pluto

Finished (but has a sequel that’s ongoing)

Plot Summary:

Just a few months after the destruction of the bone mirror, the team of Lockwood & Co. has another big case to tackle:
When Lucy gets a letter from her little sister, begging her to come back and help her with a haunting doomed to kill them, she doesn't need long to make a decision, and neither George nor Lockwood are going to let her face this alone. To not get any unwanted attention in her hometown, Lucy and Lockwood agree to take a closer look disguised as a couple while George is busy researching. But when the haunting turns out to run much deeper and wilder than any of them thought, and other players enter the game, one question arises: Will Lockwood & Co. also make it out of this case unscathed?

(This one’s my all time favourite)

“The hidden archive” written by: BrooklynBooks

Ongoing

Plot Summary:

Ghost possession doesn't happen often, but fatality rates are high. Even if an agent does survive, there are the aftereffects to worry about. After surviving a possession, Lucy Carlyle struggles with recovery, delving ever deeper into the memories of Visitors and, in the process, stumbling into the world of blackmarket Sources. Meanwhile, George Karim races to learn the truth behind ghost possession in order to protect Lucy and save future agents. And Anthony Lockwood must face his own past with the London underworld if he wants to save his friends and himself.

“Connections” written by: The_Biscuit_Agreement (I’m sorry i’m so obsessed with their fics lol)

Ongoing

Plot Summary:

Lockwood forms a psychic link with a dead young agent and the group try to use it to work out how the agent died with disastrous consequences.

“Crushed” written by: itripandfallalot, Salvoirfaire

Ongoing

Plot Summary:

A bad case and broken leg leave Lucy no choice but to return to Portland Row until she recovers. Lockwood is definitely not using this as an opportunity to persuade her to come back for good, because that would be unfair. And he never plays dirty.

“Because everything is the same until, very suddenly, it isn’t” written by: Netflixcapricorn

Finished

Plot Summary:

What happens when the only way out of this mess is a fake marriage?

(Here’s a warning, extremely angsty)

“Lucy takes the long way home” written by: agents_cxrter

Finished

Plot Summary:

Lucy might have left Lockwood and Co, but she can't get Lockwood out of her system.

(So many annoying emotions in this one like WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!!?!)

“This is going to end badly” written by: The_Biscuit_Agreement

Ongoing

Plot Summary:

When Fittes Agent Lucy Carlyle is cornered by relic-men alone in the woods, she is rescued by an unlikely source: Anthony Lockwood, run-away and relic-man. When Fittes gets tasked with trying to track the young man down, Lucy finds herself in an interesting position.

“Perfectly Incandescently Happy” written by: OceanSpray5

Finished

Plot Summary:

After the death of her best friend, Ms Lucy Carlyle is given the opportunity to be sponsored for the 1815 London season by Norrie's aunt. Instantly compared to the Diamond due to their astonishingly similar looks, she befriends Lord Lockwood quite unexpectedly yet is left wondering if she was a fool for believing he'd look twice at a mere country girl.

(This fic is literally the cutest thing to exist… if you exclude the angst lollll)

“No One Cares About The Nightwatch” Written by: Nomolosk

Ongoing

Plot Summary:

Lucy Carlyle is a Listener, a failed agent, a runaway, and now works the nightwatch in London. One might think her life a failure from start to last- but Lucy has goals. She will get a grade four certificate, and reapply to all the best agencies, and her life will get immeasurably better.

However, firsthand experience of the treatment most people give the nightwatch, and a chance encounter with Lockwood and Co. have her reevaluating those goals... maybe she can do some good before she moves on...

“The Injury of Finally Knowing You” written by: booknerds_unite

Ongoing

Plot Summary:

Anthony Lockwood, the only surviving male monarch from the Lockwood line, has six months to find a wife or Parliament will make a case to keep him from the throne. Lucy Carlyle has just arrived at the palace to work as a maid and to escape her horrific mother. They were never supposed to meet.
On the night of Lockwood's birthday celebration, their paths cross and nothing will ever be the same.

“What lies between the lines” written by: The_Biscuit_Agreement

Ongoing

Plot Summary

When she arrived in London, Lucy Carlyle took up a job at the British Archives, spending her days determining which love letters, suicide notes and other collected paperwork could one day produce a visitor. It's a taxing job, made easier by king archivists and the presence of young agents doing research nearby. As Lucy becomes close with some of these young agents, she starts to receive love letters herself and finds herself using her under-utilised talents to try to work out who might be behind the notes.

(at this point just go through all of The_Biscuit_Agreement fics tbh… There all perfection)

(okay i’ve read a ton more really good Lockwood and Co fics but i feel lazy now so maybe i’ll post a part two of fic recs later)

[flurrys-creativity]

Warrior

Pairing: Choi San (Ateez) x Fem!OC Yeong-Ja; Genre: Joseon AU, Historical AU, Fantasy, Shifter AU, Werewolf AU, strangers to lovers, romance, angst, fluff, SMUT; Rating: nsfw, 18+, MDNI; Warnings: concubines, hints of misogyny, somewhat sold off, inaccurate historical stuff, San from his special performance warrior video including the tattoos, shifter San with a very demanding inner wolf, mentions of sex, getting a tattoo the old style (which is probably inaccurate as well), mentions of uproars, death (minor ocs), san murdering them, graphic violence, graphic description of injuries, san being chained to his bed, SMUT -> rough sex, unprotected sex, marking, biting, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, several positions, breeding kink, knotting, mating, pet names, mentions of softer sex; Wordcount: 11.482

Summary: Every time emperor San won a battle against foreign forces he got gifted another concubine - another person, who’d be scared of him. Though when he met the newest addition in his palace, he realised Yeong-Ja was everything but scared.

A/N: Ever since that special performance video of Warriors by San came out, I'm a changed person!! I wrote this chonky one within one weekend while playing the video on loop.

Yeong-Ja got ushered into a room by several servants, who told her to stay there until the emperor would arrive. Before she could even ask when that would be the door got shut right in front of her nose, leaving her alone.

With a heavy sigh Yeong-Ja turned around and took a closer look at the room in front of her. While it definitely appeared luxurious - the room was basically as big as her old home - but except for a large bed there wasn’t much inside the room. It didn’t even have windows. There was only another sliding door, which probably led to the private quarters of the emperor.

Yeong-Ja stood in the middle of the room unsure what she was supposed to do besides waiting for the emperor. Should she stand somewhere specific or sit on the bed? She knew what was expected of her yet she couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact she had become a concubine in the span of only a few hours.

That morning Yeong-Ja had woken up and gone out to town since the market was open and she had hoped to buy a few things for her family. So while she bargained with one of the sellers, she got approached by a tall man in fancy clothes.

“Excuse me”, he said with an awkward smile, “I’d like to have a conversation with someone, who speaks for you.”

Yeong-Ja raised an eyebrow, forgetting the little quarrel with the seller as she turned towards the man and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I’m able to speak for myself, sir.”

A twinkle in his eyes and the soft chuckle revealed his amusement even after he focused himself again with a short shake of his head. “I’d still like to inform your husband or any kind of relative that you’re chosen to become a concubine.”

For a split second everything around Yeong-Ja stopped. She stared at the stranger with wide eyes, needing several seconds to register what he just said. Once the heaviness of the message fought through and settled into her mind, her whole world started to crumble. She nodded almost mechanically as she asked the man to follow her, cutting her time at the market short.

Even when she brought him to his parents and sat beside them in the small dining area, somewhat listening to the words he had to say, her thoughts had travelled to a different place. While Yeong-Ja wasn’t the only woman at her age unmarried, it was rather uncommon. Her headstrong attitude and the fact she came from a poorer family were the reasons why she hadn’t been married yet. Though it hadn’t been a problem in her family, Yeong-Ja was incredibly thankful for that since she loved her independence. 

“If you want to take something with you, Miss Yeong-Ja, now would be the time to get it.” The stranger, who had himself introduced as Park Seonghwa the head counsellor of the emperor, looked at her. A hint of pity and understanding swirling in his dark eyes. 

Her mother had followed her to the sleeping area, laying a hand on her shoulder. She had tears in her eyes as she pulled her daughter into her arms. “You’ll have a better life at the palace”, she whispered and caressed the back of the younger woman. “Please take this with you.” With that her mother let go of her and walked over to a small cabinet. She pulled a box out from the farthest end and turned back to Yeong-Ja. “This was a gift from your great grandfather to your great grandmother. It’s supposed to be a lucky item. Wear it to receive the blessings -” she swallowed the lump inside her throat, her voice sounding choked up - “and to remember us.”

Yeong-Ja hiccuped as she accepted the gift with trembling fingers. She looked down at the fine silver necklace in her hands, seeing one turquoise stone added as a pendant. She closed her hands and clutched them against her chest, whispering her thanks while tears streamed down her cheeks.

Now inside the luxurious bedroom Yeong-Ja fumbled with the dozens of layers of clothes to reach for the pendant. She wrapped her fingers around the turquoise and felt the calm energy spreading throughout her body. With no way back she could only look ahead.

She noticed a bowl of water and several towels on a nightstand close to the bed. Yeong-Ja walked closer to the bowl, leaning over it and staring at her own reflection. She barely recognised herself and a frown appeared on her features. 

That ghost-like face looking back at her wasn’t the woman she wanted to be. While the make-up looked magnificent and had been applied with the utmost care by the servants, Yeong-Ja couldn’t help herself but to hate it. She knew noble women liked to appear paler to show they didn’t work on fields in the sun, but Yeong-Ja was born and raised on such fields. She had a natural tan skin and any other colour made her look sick.

Without a second thought Yeong-Ja pushed the fabrics up her arms and dunked her hands into the bowl, cupping them and splashing water into her face. She rubbed her face meticulously and hoped to get rid of all the white make-up plastered on her skin.

Once she deemed her face clean, Yeong-Ja grabbed a towel and patted her skin dry. Her face already felt much lighter without all the make-up. Although the minute Yeong-Ja looked down at her body and saw all the layers of fancy fabric she felt like a fool again. Her face didn’t match this dress anymore. Yeong-Ja pursed her lips and brushed the sleeves of the fabric back down, feeling uncomfortable in all these layers. The young woman looked over her shoulder to the two closed doors, contemplating whether she should risk it and change or just stay put.

She swallowed and tried to listen intently to the sounds outside of the room. When she wasn’t able to pick up any words or steps, she decided to take the risk. 

Yeong-Ja fumbled with the fabrics and the knots that held everything in place. It took her every ounce of self control to stay patient and not rip everything apart. Once she finally got rid of every layer and only stood in the finest silk underwear in the middle of the room, Yeong-Ja thought she was able to breathe again.

She bent down and started folding all the fabrics, placing them neatly in front of the nightstand. Yeong-Ja only kept the outer piece and a few pins. She draped the fabric over her body and secured it with the pins.

When Yeong-Ja was brought into the bedroom, the emperor - Choi San - arrived at the throne room. He barely kept the sigh inside his lungs when he saw Seonghwa waiting for him.

“Another victory, huh?” Seonghwa stepped next to San, trying to contain his grin. He could read San like a book and knew how annoyed his emperor was already.

“Which means another concubine.” San plopped down on the throne. He pushed his hair back with his hand before he fixed his eyes on the older man. “Why is the court getting a concubine every time I come back from a battle? They’re running away in the end.”

“Now, now. You make it out as if every concubine has fled so far. You still have a thriving harem, San.”

San only rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue, resting his chin on his hand. “Anything else I should know before I tell the servants to bring the new concubine to their quarters?” San only wanted to get a bath in peace, wanted to wash off all the grime and blood from the battlefield. He needed to rest and regain his strength again. San had used almost all of his power to keep the intruders in check and only with the help of his wolf was he able to overpower them.

“This one is different. Take at least a look at her.” 

San zoned back into the conversation and shook his head. Whatever Seonghwa had told him just now, San only heard the last two sentences. He grimaced but decided to wave it off for now. With a dismissive hand gesture San got up from the throne and walked to the hidden door behind it. “I’ll think about it���, he told Seonghwa before he bid his goodbye and followed the wooden path towards his private quarters.

A servant rushed to his side, offering their assistance. They nodded in understanding with each order - preparing a bath and bringing the new concubine to their quarters - they received. 

San opened the door to his private bedroom and closed it right behind him again. He trotted towards the bathroom and started stripping out of his clothes, which needed to be washed as well. 

A sudden scream followed by frantic yelling, interrupted San in his undressing. Without regard to his appearance the emperor rushed towards the disturbance. He slammed the door to the concubine bedroom open and hurriedly stepped inside, his eyes jumping from corner to corner. San was ready to fight but except for a servant and a woman he never saw before he couldn’t sense any danger. “Wha-”

“I am so sorry, my emperor. I didn’t mean to disturb you with my yelling. I just wanted to take the concubine to her quarters when I saw what she did.” The servant bowed deeply as they apologised over and over again.

“Please”, San only said in a stern voice, successfully shutting up the servant. He looked around the room again, trying to understand what the servant meant. He inhaled deeply when a sudden wave hit his senses.

‘Smells good’, his wolf hummed, forcing San to inhale again. He even closed his eyes, focusing solely on the sweet scent invading his nose. When he opened his eyes again, they immediately landed on the new concubine.

Yeong-Ja had crossed her arms in front of her chest. She felt embarrassed for screaming when the servant tapped her shoulder. She hadn’t noticed them coming into the room and yelped in surprise from the sudden touch. Yeong-Ja also felt embarrassed for being scolded so harshly. While she had expected to get scolded, she had pictured it to be the emperor himself.

Her eyes fell on the man who had entered the room as well. She could feel the heat rising to her cheeks when Yeong-Ja saw the half-naked form of him. Involuntarily her eyes wandered over his toned upper body and well defined muscles. She took the tattoos adorning his body in as well, fascinated by the intricate painting of a wolf’s head on his left pec.

As her eyes continued to wander over his body she finally reached his face. The air inside her lungs nearly got stuck when Yeong-Ja saw the intense gaze on her. She locked eyes with him and the feeling of being a small prey spread throughout her whole body. 

San glanced at the servant, telling them they were dismissed, before his eyes landed on the new concubine again. 

His wolf rumbled inside of him, growling something about having found their mate. He eagerly wanted to cross the distance and get to the woman, wanted to touch her, smell her, scent her, take her and most importantly breed her.

San’s fingers twitched as he fought to keep control over his own body. Seonghwa’s words played in his mind again, while San stared at the woman in front of him. He noticed how she wasn’t turned into a doll-like human like all the other concubines before her. He also noticed how the clothes around her body weren’t as neatly placed. 

‘Easier access’, his wolf nearly howled, keen with the choices that were made.

Yeong-Ja could have sworn she was on fire from the intensity of his gaze but at the same time one ice cold shiver after another ran down her spine. She could feel her heart pounding inside of her ribcage.

“May I know your name?”

The soft voice of the emperor - even though it sounded slightly strangled - surprised Yeong-Ja. She would love to simply listen to him all day, every day. “Yeong-Ja”, she introduced herself, bowing slightly in hopes it was enough courtesy towards the emperor.

San repeated her name, same as his inner wolf, getting a feeling of it on his tongue. “That is a beautiful name”, he complimented her as he suppressed another attempt of his wolf to pounce on her. “Have you been waiting for a long time?”

Yeong-Ja blinked several times, thinking about the question. She wasn’t even sure whether she could answer it or not. Without any windows Yeong-Ja wasn’t able to see how high the sun was and therefore unable to tell the time. Yet she knew it had been enough time for her to change her appearance. “Long enough to wash my face and dress differently.”

San’s eyes widened in surprise. He hadn’t expected such an answer and most importantly he hadn’t expected that she took the liberty to change her looks, disregarding everything the servants must have prepared for him. Before San could control himself, he let out a loud laugh. San held his stomach as he leaned back from the force of his laughter. The mental picture of the frustration from his servants and her just undoing everything that has been made, just got to him.

Yeong-Ja observed him silently, a small smile playing over her lips upon noticing the dimples on his face when he grinned brightly. 

Once San calmed down again, he wiped the corner of his eyes. He still grinned, the amusement apparent in his voice as well. “Make yourself comfortable in this room. If you’re in need of anything don’t hesitate to call for a servant.”

Yeong-Ja nodded slowly, trying to hide the confusion that filled her thoughts. She thought the emperor would want her to undress and get on the bed so she could please him. Therefore she hadn’t expected something like this.

“I’d like to have breakfast with you tomorrow morning. Is that alright with you?” San ignored the warning growls from his wolf, telling him to stay with her. But San wanted to be a little more careful with her. He hoped by getting to know her first and taking it slow, Yeong-Ja might not fear him like most of the other concubines. And most importantly she hopefully wouldn’t run away.

Yeong-Ja had to remind herself of keeping it together and actually answer the emperor. Everything she witnessed from him so far contradicted all the rumours surrounding him. It was a miracle that she wasn’t too stunned to speak with him. “It would be a pleasure.”

San smiled and nodded shortly, before he bid his goodbye and walked back into his private chambers. Much to the dismay of his inner wolf.

Over the next weeks San ordered to bring more furniture into the concubine’s bedroom. While he could have admitted Yeong-Ja to the special quarters for the concubine instead of the regular ones, his inner wolf insisted to have her as close as possible - and if sharing a bed wasn’t an option yet it had to be the room right next door.

Yeong-Ja still didn’t know how to properly act around the emperor. He was sweet towards her during the day and made sure every wish she could possibly have was fulfilled as fast as possible but he never called her for the purpose she was brought into the palace.

At night she would lie awake in the large bed, staring up at the ceiling, which she barely saw with the small night light on the stand next to the bed. At first Yeong-Ja wasn’t able to sleep because she constantly stayed on edge, expecting to be called for her duty at any moment. Though when it didn’t happen her thoughts started to tear her apart from the inside. She couldn’t understand why San never came to her at night, why he always kept his distance even when they met. 

Yeong-Ja couldn’t possibly know how much he suffered from not being close to her. His wolf rioted every chance possible - especially at night. A time where he wanted to take his mate and nothing else. 

San writhed in pain, trying to keep his cool. Yet the hard on he sported in his loose pants throbbed painfully. No amount of masturbating helped him and it slowly but surely drove him insane.

‘Go to her.’ His wolf whispered, the sly smirk prominent in his voice. ‘She’ll take care of us.’

“No”, San grunted breathlessly. He pushed himself up and walked over to the door. San stood in front of it, his whole body trembling as he fought with himself. It took all of his will power to go through the other door. 

He walked up to the concubine quarters. San needed a release and he couldn’t care less about who he had to fuck for that. As long as it meant he wouldn’t harm Yeong-Ja.

The woman struggled to fall asleep again. Therefore she decided to go for a short walk. She followed the wooden path to the centre of the palace, where she found a small koi pond and some greenery. Yeong-Ja sat down on the stairs that led down to the pond and stared at the water. The light of the flames from the lanterns around her reflected on the surface, almost dancing to a melody she wasn’t able to hear.

When she heard the sudden movements to her right, she cowered behind the handrail, hoping to stay hidden from whoever walked past in the middle of the night.

San pushed the concubine towards the special quarters since he couldn’t use the bedroom anymore. He got impatient with her stumbling and irritated with his wolf wanting to go somewhere else. Hopefully it would die down the second he stepped into the quarters with that concubine.

Yeong-Ja watched them silently, a lump forming inside her stomach when she recognised San with another woman. She wondered what this woman had that she didn’t have. Her shoulders hung down and she couldn’t contain the sigh that spilled past her lips. While being with the emperor had its perks, she still felt out of place. No matter how many tea ceremonies, breakfasts or evening walks she would have with him, Yeong-Ja still thought there had to be something wrong with her as she seemed to be the only concubine that wasn’t used for her original purpose.

Yeong-Ja winced when she heard the faint cries of pleasure. Swallowing the building lump in her throat she decided to go for a longer walk. There was no way she could just sit there and listen, nor could she go back to her chamber that was located right next to them.

On silent soles the young woman moved over the bridge of the pond and up the stairs towards the throne hall. She hoped the door behind the throne would be open, so she could sneak past. Even though she knew she’d be stopped at the main gate, she had a slimmer of hope within her.

“Miss Yeong-Ja?”

She squeaked and slightly jumped on the spot, her hand hovering above the handle for the sliding door to the throne hall. Yeong-Ja’s head turned almost mechanically to her left, where she saw Seonghwa.

He looked at her with concern written all over his face. Ever so carefully he stepped towards her, fearing she might bolt if he made too hasty movements. “Is everything alright?”

Yeong-Ja winced again, feeling incredibly exposed all of a sudden. “I just wanted to take a walk.”

“In the middle of the night?” Seonghwa finally reached her, placing a hand on her shoulder. He tilted his head, exploring her face in detail. His attention momentarily faltered when he heard the outcry from the special room. Understanding dawned on his features as his attention returned to the woman in front of him. “May I accompany you, Miss Yeong-Ja?”

Yeong-Ja nodded softly, a small smile playing over her features when she saw his awkward grin. “Can we leave the palace grounds for a while?” She asked hopefully, needing some distance to clear her thoughts.

“I’ll send for two guards to follow us”, Seonghwa confirmed and ushered her through the door. They crossed the throne room in silence and waited at the large entrance to the courtyard for two guards to join you.

For a while the silence continued as they walked through the streets of the upper town. Though as if Seonghwa was able to read her mind, he spoke up again: “Something is troubling you.”

Yeong-Ja sighed deeply, tilting her head back and looking up into the dark sky. “Is there something wrong with me?” She didn’t dare to look at Seonghwa, fearing his answer for some reason.

Seonghwa raised an eyebrow, observing her closely. “Why would there something be wrong with you?”

She shrugged with her shoulders, looking back down to the ground again. “It’s a little embarrassing to talk about this”, she confessed, her voice so soft nobody else but Seonghwa could hear her. “I just feel like the emperor doesn’t want me like he wants the other concubines. I’m not even sharing the same quarters with them.”

Seonghwa placed his hand on her shoulder again, chuckling softly. “I’m sure it is quite the opposite, dear.”

Yeong-Ja raised her head and looked at Seonghwa in confusion, a frown adorning her features while she tried to understand what the counsellor meant. “If the emperor wants me why wouldn’t he come to me at night?”

“That is something you should ask him yourself”, Seonghwa answered ominously, halting in his steps and turning around. 

Yeong-Ja followed his example, still confused about what he was hinting at. She noticed him staring ahead and followed his gaze. 

Her eyes widened in surprise when they locked with San’s, who stood breathing heavily in the middle of the street before them.

When she had left the palace, San had stopped mid-thrust. ‘She’s leaving!’ San’s eyes widened in panic when he realised his wolf was right and the scent of Yeong-Ja grew more distant. San growled almost animalistically as he pushed himself away from the concubine. “Go back to your chambers”, he ordered before he rushed out of the room.

He hurried to her bedroom first, needing to confirm what his instincts and sense of smell told him with his own two eyes. San momentarily stopped in front of her door, making himself presentable before he entered. His heartbeat accelerated when he didn’t see her inside the room.

‘Follow her!’ His wolf snarled and pulled San back.

The emperor barely snapped out of this, keeping control over his own body, as he ran towards the main gates. He ignored the questioning looks from the guards and only continued to run through the streets. San followed his nose for the most part but his eyes still frantically scanned his surroundings, making sure he wouldn’t miss her.

He stopped upon finding her - together with Seonghwa, who had a hand placed on her shoulder. San breathed heavily, his shoulders heaving from the sprint he just did. His eyes jumped between Yeong-Ja and Seonghwa, trying to figure out what was going on while his wolf wanted nothing but to rip Seonghwa’s hand off.

Seonghwa bowed slightly towards San and then turned back to Yeong-Ja. “I’ll leave you in his care now.” He smiled knowingly and squeezed her shoulder in reassurance before stepping away.

Yeong-Ja looked puzzled. Instead of finding answers to her questions, she only had more questions inside her head now. Once Seonghwa was out of her sight, her eyes landed on San. Uncertainty wafted off of her in waves and even San could sense it without his inner wolf telling him.

“Is everything alright?” He asked carefully, eyes exploring her expression. San feared she had attempted to escape and only got stopped by Seonghwa.

Yeong-Ja crossed her arms in front of her chest, slightly hugging her upper body even. “I just needed to take a walk.”

“In the middle of the night?”

“Yes!” She snapped, before looking away in embarrassment. “In the middle of the night”, she added more softly, “I needed to clear my head.”

San stepped closer - at least a little. “Is there something bothering you?” He tried to even his breathing, even though the fear inside of him made him want to gasp for air. His thoughts swirled around his head and the whining of his wolf to move closer didn’t help either to stay level headed.

Yeong-Ja watched him. She saw the fear in his eyes, saw him struggle and fight with himself but she didn’t understand why. She tightened the hold around her upper body. “Is there something wrong with me?”

“What?”

She was about to repeat herself, when San interrupted her: “No! Why would you think that? There is absolutely nothing wrong with you! You’re beautiful just the way you are!”

“And yet you always keep your distance.” Yeong-Ja mumbled to herself without knowing San’s heightened senses still picked up on her words. 

“I don’t want to hurt you.” San groaned and pressed his face into his hands, before running them through his hair. “I keep my distance because I don’t want to frighten or hurt you.”

Yeong-Ja looked up at him through her eyelashes, gnawing on her lower lip as she contemplated her next question.

San’s wolf begged him to cross the distance and scoop her up in his arms; begged him to litter her in kisses but San stayed put. He wanted to wait; wanted to hear what she had to say.

“So could we have a tea ceremony where you won’t sit across the room and far away from me?” The wavering in her otherwise hopeful voice was heartbreaking.

“If that is what you wish for”, San agreed with a nod, never moving his eyes away from her. He didn’t dare to let her out of his sight for even a second. “Let us do that then. Tomorrow. After a good night’s rest.”

Yeong-Ja nodded shortly. She still felt uncertain around him but having him agree on being closer felt like a small step in the right direction. The young woman walked over to San - momentarily surprised he didn’t step back, but incredibly pleased he followed through with his words already. “Then we should head back again.”

“Yes”, San breathed out and walked next to you. Relief washed over his whole body once he realised she hadn’t tried running away and was even willing to go back with him. He definitely had to work harder to keep Yeong-Ja by his side - even if it meant torturing himself.

~

San sat in the middle of his private chamber. He had his eyes closed, trying to mentally prepare himself for the close proximity he was about to have with Yeong-Ja. 

Behind him the tattoo artist prepared his utensils to create another mark on the emperor’s body. Hongjoong created every art piece on San’s skin and it hadn’t surprised him to be called again. He placed the small bowl with black ink to his right on a cloth of linen. Next to the bowl he kept the needles and a wooden piece he used as a hammer. To his left Hongjoong had placed a larger bowl of water and several towels. 

“Everything has been prepared. We can start now.”

San raised one hand, halting the artist in his movements. “Please wait a moment. I’m expecting someone to join us.”

Hongjoong’s eyes widened as he stared at the back of the emperor’s head. So far each tattoo session has always been just them. He leaned back on his feet, placing his hands on his thighs to wait.

A servant announced their arrival, requesting to open the door and let Yeong-Ja inside. 

Yeong-Ja played with the fingers of her hands behind her back. She stepped inside once the sliding door got opened enough for her to walk in. To her surprise the door got closed behind her right away. For a second it felt like a deja vu but when she turned her head and looked into the room, she noticed the two men sitting on the floor. 

Just like during the first night San only wore some pants, revealing his bare chest and arms. He looked up at her with a nervous smile. “I know this isn’t like our usual meetings”, he explained when he saw her tilting her head to the side and eyeing Hongjoong behind him. “Will you still join me?”

The woman nodded hesitantly and crossed the room to sit in front of San. She leaned a little to the side to get a better look at the second man, who nearly got devoured by San’s broad shoulders. 

“That’s Kim Hongjoong”, San told her, successfully getting her attention back on him. “He did all of my tattoos and will do another today.” San momentarily looked over his shoulder and told Hongjoong to start now.

At the mention of his tattoos Yeong-Ja’s eyes dropped to his chest, staring at the large wolf tattoo. She mused Hongjoong to be a great artist if he was able to create such detail of a wolf’s head with nothing but black ink. “Do they have a meaning or are you just having them for aesthetic reasons?” 

For a while only the slapping of the wood against Hongjoong’s fingers filled the room. San focused on the slight pain pulsating through his body to keep his wolf in check. The close proximity to her made his wolf run up the walls but he couldn’t let it be. “Some have meaning, others don’t”, he breathed out, his jaw clenching and hand twitching as his wolf made another attempt to reach out to her.

Yeong-Ja watched him silently, noticing how he tensed up and struggled to hold this conversation.

Even Hongjoong noticed the unusual behaviour of the emperor. He knew for a fact San didn’t react to the pain of the needle, so seeing him this tense surprised the artist.

Yeong-Ja turned her attention back to the artist while San continued breathing purposefully. “How are you creating these?”

Hongjoong momentarily halted in his movement to look up at the woman. A proud grin flashed over his feature before he continued to work and started explaining the process to her. 

While his inner wolf got jealous and wanted to bring the focus back to them, San felt some sort of relief that he could deal with his wolf for a moment as she listened intently to the process of tattoo making from Hongjoong.

After what only felt like seconds but probably had been much longer Yeong-Ja looked back at San. She noticed how he had already been watching her, making the heat rise up to her cheeks. Yeong-Ja quickly dismissed the feeling and cleared her throat. “May I see how he’s doing it?”

San’s eyes widened but he nodded nonetheless. He silently watched how she got on her knees and crawled past his left side. She stopped right next to him, letting only her head be behind his body to watch the artist creating the tattoo. Yeong-Ja stayed on all fours as she watched, surprised at the mess she saw on his back.

Hongjoong grabbed one of the towels and dunked it into the water bowl before wiping it over the fresh tattoo.

“Oh”, Yeong-Ja gasped when all the residue ink got wiped away and revealed what the artist had created so far. “How can you see with all the ink and blood being in the way?”

“Memory and constant cleaning.” Hongjoong picked the needle and piece of wood back up into his hands. He dunked the tip of the needle into the black ink and placed it on San’s skin before he slapped the wood against his fingers and pricked the skin in the process.

Yeong-Ja’s hand involuntarily grabbed onto San’s hand that had rested on his lap. She watched the tattoo artist with wide eyes, her hand squeezing San’s with every slap of the wooden piece. 

San had gone completely still, his heart nearly beating out of his chest while his wolf rumbled in satisfaction. The little electric shock waves that flowed through his body were so much stronger than the pain from the needle. He swallowed harshly and turned his head to look at her. His eyes roamed over her features and a soft smile spread over his lips. San turned his attention down to her hand and before he could get second thoughts he placed his free hand on hers and started rubbing his thumb over her delicate skin.

Yeong-Ja leaned back on her feet again, eyes now on San’s face. “Does it hurt?” She noticed how he had relaxed soon after she held his hand, she also realised - with a slight panic arising - how this was the first time she actually had skin to skin contact with San.

“Not anymore”, he answered softly, continuing to stroke her hand with his thumb. “It’s reassuring even. To know I’ll soon have another mark on my skin that shows I’m fighting for my people.” San easily continued to speak about his tattoos and their meaning now, when she asked him to tell her more about them. 

He would be laughing at himself, if it weren’t for the tattooing. San never expected that the simple contact with her skin was enough to keep his wolf somewhat satisfied and make him definitely easier to control. For weeks he battled inside of his mind with his wolf to take it slow. The constant suffering of being near her, having her scent and presence invade all of his senses without the possibility to act on it, turned San almost crazy. Yet, simple hand holding had been the solution all along.

“I’d like to have one as well”, Yeong-Ja announced suddenly, making both men freeze and stare at her with wide eyes.

Hongjoong was the first to break out of his stupor. “You want to have a tattoo?” He raised an eyebrow in question, looking at her and then at San before he looked back at her. “What would you want to get and where?”

Yeong-Ja’s eyes flicked to San, who still hadn’t moved, where she looked at the wolf tattoo shortly. Her eyes moved back up to San’s face, seeing how stunned he was with her statement. 

San barely heard any of Hongjoong’s question as his heart hammered inside his chest and pumped his blood like a raging stream through his body.

Yeong-Ja bid down on her lower lip, feeling suddenly nervous with the way both men stared at her. “I’d like something that shows what I am. Something that shows I belong to the emperor.”

‘She wants us to mark her!’ 

San could feel his dick twitch from the image of marking her. The excitement his wolf felt washing over to himself as well. He had to fight to keep his thoughts clear, needing several minutes before he could even speak again. “You want my sigil on your body?”

Yeong-Ja nodded softly, still gnawing at her lower lip. She had thought of a wolf at first but the second San mentioned his sigil - the moon - she knew it was the perfect tattoo to show she belonged to him. “Would that be alright?” Yeong-Ja looked up at San through her eyelashes, nervous to get a rejection from him.

“Yes”, he breathed out, squeezing her hand gently. “Absolutely!” San turned his head to glance at Hongjoong. “Once you finish my tattoo, prepare everything to make another.”

Hongjoong agreed quietly and got back to work, finishing the tattoo soon after. He cleaned San’s back one last time before he stood up and called for a servant, requesting fresh towels and water. When he turned back around, his eyes landed on the woman. “Have you thought about where you want to get the tattoo?”

“Somewhere where I can see it, if I want to.” Yeong-Ja looked down at her body, wondering which part that would be. She lifted her arms and turned them, quickly deciding against them and looking further down her body. Her gaze momentarily flickered to San’s chest, thinking she could have the moon tattoo on her chest just like him, but she already squirmed at the thought of revealing her breasts. Finally Yeong-Ja’s gaze landed on her lap. “On my thigh?”

Hongjoong nodded. “That’s a good choice for a first tattoo placement. It will hurt less.” He started to prepare everything again, thanking the servants that brought the things he requested.

San squeezed her hand and brought her attention back to him. “Are you afraid?” He asked softly, tilting his head to one side.

“Not with your approval”, she answered him, smiling shyly and brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “I was more afraid of your reaction”, she admitted. Again she glanced up at him, gauging his expression to her words. 

San could only grin foolishly at her, his dimples appearing in his cheeks. He loved how she asked for his approval; loved how she wanted to do it with him in her mind. Before he could say anything of that though, Hongjoong requested Yeong-Ja to lay down on her side. San nearly whined out loud when she pulled her hand away from him to follow the request.

Yeong-Ja tried breathing naturally but her nervousness slowly got the best of her. She only followed the instructions of Hongjoong now, her head otherwise empty. She pulled the fabric of her dress to the side, revealing her right thigh. 

Hongjoong then grabbed her by her hip gently and pulled her back to his lap, so that half her body leaned against him. “If this position is too uncomfortable we can get you a pillow to support your upper body.”

San immediately scrambled closer to them. He offered his own lap as a pillow and grinned giddily when Yeong-Ja accepted and placed her head on his lap. The emperor grabbed her right hand as well, pulling her arm up over her head so it wouldn’t be in the way for Hongjoong and so he could hold her hand again.

‘We should be marking her’, his wolf growled. He felt conflicted watching another man putting a mark on the body of his mate - even if it showed humans she belonged to the emperor - and having her so close to him. On one side he wanted to smother his mate in kisses and licks and on the other he wanted to tear his teeth into the artist for touching her. Or take her in front of him just to show his claim.

San groaned silently, debating with his wolf inside his mind. He unconsciously closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, too focused on controlling his wolf.

Yeong-Ja, who had been staring up at San for the whole time, noticed how he tensed up again. She squeezed his hand and smiled reassuringly when he opened his eyes and looked at her.

“Does it hurt?” San asked and raised her hand to his lips, kissing the back of it before he could even think about the action.

“Not anymore”, Yeong-Ja answered, grinning at him as she saw the twinkle of understanding in his eyes. She didn’t just say these words to copy his answer from before, she actually barely felt the way Hongjoong tattooed her since all her focus had been on San only, making her heart soar and stomach flutter. This was the closest she had been to him and she liked the feeling, hoping it would only deepen in the future.

~

“Can I see your tattoo again?” San turned on his side, looking up at Yeong-Ja’s sitting form. He grinned innocently as he looked through his bangs, appearing almost boy-ish. 

Yeong-Ja giggled and leaned back on her hands, stretching her leg out. “You've been asking every day since I got it.” She closed her eyes and inhaled the fresh air surrounding her. 

Ever since she got the tattoo, San kept her as close as possible. He still hadn’t taken her at night but during the day he became quite clingy, disregarding the looks from others when he stayed so close to her.

Though right now he didn’t have to worry about it, having taken Yeong-Ja out on a picnic to a nearby stream in the bordering forest. He told Seonghwa where they were headed and ordered the guards to stay behind. San wanted to be solely with her at least for a moment.

“And I’ll continue to ask every single day.”

Yeong-Ja opened her eyes and laughed softly. “I’m yours. Technically you wouldn’t even have to ask.” She licked over her lips and averted her eyes again, taking in her surroundings instead.

The sun filtered through the canopy of the trees above their heads, letting thin rays of light hit the ground around them. Some rays reached the water of the small stream, where the moving water reflected the light. Birds and cicadas chirped around them and somewhere up the stream even a frog croaked its mating song.

San pushed himself up and crawled over to Yeong-Ja, his body half hovering over hers now. He grabbed her chin with his forefinger and thumb and turned her head until she looked into his eyes again. “I will always ask for your consent.”

Yeong-Ja exhaled shakily and smiled up to him. “And I’ll always give you my consent.”

San grinned brightly and let go of her chin, his hand moving down to her leg instead. When he reached her ankle, he finally made contact with her skin. Ever so slowly San pushed his hand up along her leg now, moving the fabric of the dress to the side in the process. Once he revealed her bare thigh to his sight, he let his thumb brush over the dark tattoo. 

‘We should mark her right next to it!’ His wolf tried to order San and growled in frustration when he didn’t bud. ‘She’s ready for us! Take her, mark her, breed her!’ 

San swallowed harshly, trying to ignore the pictures floating into his mind. He grabbed her thigh, his large hand squeezing it. His eyes slowly wandered back up to her face, seeing how she stared at him with bated breath. 

‘She wants us! Wants us to breed her! Do something!’ His wolf roared in frustration when San only dropped down on her form, using her body as a pillow. 

San pressed his ear against her chest, listening to her erratic heartbeat with a smirk playing over his lips. He sighed in content and closed his eyes. It took all his strength to keep his wolf in check and simply relaxing in her lap helped him gain the power to keep it that way.

Yeong-Ja shifted her weight to hold her up on one hand, so she could card her fingers through San’s dark locks. She tried to ignore how her heart hammered inside of her chest, making her emotions incredibly obvious to the emperor. She tried to ignore the flutter inside her stomach and the heat pooling in her lower regions when he squeezed her thigh. While a part of her wanted him to take her in the middle of the forest, she couldn’t bring herself to ask him.

Yeong-Ja wasn’t inexperienced - not that she’d tell anybody about it - but now that emotions had joined the situation, it created a pit in her stomach and made a mess out of her.

A twig snapped in the distance, alerting San and his wolf. He tensed up before pushing himself into a crouching position in front of Yeong-Ja, ready to protect her at any cost. San barely held the growl inside him when he heard steps coming closer.

“What’s wrong?” Yeong-Ja sat up as well, placing one hand on San’s back and peering over his shoulder. 

“Someone’s coming”, San informed her with a low voice. He had his eyes still trained on the trees in front of him, listening intently to the steps. His nose twitched as he tried to use the sense of smell from his wolf, hoping to get a read on the person that was approaching.

“San?”

Yeong-Ja sat a little straighter than before, her mouth shaping an ‘o’ as she recognised the voice. She also noticed how San visibly relaxed and stood up, calling out for Seonghwa.

Soon enough the older man appeared between the trees with an awkward smile adorning his face. “I’m terribly sorry to interrupt”, he apologised and bowed shortly in front of the couple. “But I have to ask you to return to the palace.”

San frowned and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Why?” Was the only word he said, slightly glaring at Seonghwa for even requesting something like that.

Seonghwa glanced towards Yeong-Ja, who slowly stood up too, readying herself to leave at any moment. He sighed deeply and returned his attention to his emperor. “Patrolling guards have stumbled on a camp of soldiers from the neighbouring region. They were able to overwhelm them without any casualties but now they insist on delivering a message to the emperor himself.”

“And that couldn’t wait?” San grunted in annoyance, but started to pack the few things he had brought along nonetheless. 

“The prisoners make the court nervous.”

“And a nervous court is a bad court.” San sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. He didn’t want to leave Yeong-Ja’s side so soon. He turned his head and looked at her, contemplating his options. “Would you” - he paused, unsure about his own request - “stay with me?”

Yeong-Ja nodded and quickly stepped next to him, placing a hand on his upper arm. “If that’s what you wish.”

San thanked her quietly and grabbed her hand, leading her back to the palace and towards the throne room. His thumb rubbed slow circles to the back of her hand as his gaze was trained on Seonghwa’s back. He knew Seonghwa wouldn’t have interrupted them if it wasn’t necessary. He still cursed the older man for doing it though.

When they reached the throne room, Seonghwa stepped next to the throne as the head counsellor, looking down at the five soldiers that kneeled at the bottom of the steps towards the throne. 

San glared at them as he walked up the steps and plopped down on the throne. He still held onto Yeong-Ja’s hand and used the chance to pull her right into his lap. There was no way he’d let her go now while being irritated already. San wrapped his arms around her body and silently nosed her neck, inhaling her scent with closed eyes to calm himself down again. 

Yeong-Ja hadn’t expected to sit on the throne as well but she sensed how San needed her presence to keep his cool. She placed one hand on his chest, silently telling him she would be there for him.

“What is this message you have for me?” San opened his eyes again, glaring down at the five soldiers, who cowered away from his intense aura. Even some of his own guards shrunk down on themselves. 

“It’s more of a warning”, one of the soldiers spoke up, raising his head to look up and smirk at San and Yeong-Ja. “You might wanna keep a closer look on your concubines.”

San snarled loudly and tightened his hold on Yeong-Ja, leaning forward a little as if he wanted to attack at any moment. “Be careful of your next words or I will rip your tongue out”, he threatened, baring his teeth in the process.

The soldier laughed maniacally. “I’m not surprised rebel groups are forming in your kingdom when the emperor himself is more concerned whether I insult a concubine or not.” He glared back up at San, a crazy look in his eyes and a smirk on his lips. “They say the dumber the concubine the better the sex. So this one must be incredibly stupid if you keep her that close.”

Yeong-Ja pressed her hand on San’s chest, keeping him in place. She turned her head to the soldier, raising an eyebrow to taunt him. “Oh really?”, she asked with a scoff. “In this case your stupidity outshines mine. You never intended to give the emperor a real warning, did you now? You only desired to insult him or get a rise out of him, isn’t that right? But here you are, on your knees, pathetic and incredibly stupid for revealing your association with rebel groups.” 

Seonghwa stared at the woman with wide eyes. She was the first woman to speak during a court meeting of this magnitude. She was also the first to attend one but that's besides the fact she kept San in check, threw the insults right back at the enemies face and pointed out valuable information. He had also picked up on the rebel part but would have brought it up at a later point without the soldiers present. 

Seonghwa turned his attention to San, noting how he barely held himself together. The only thing stopping him right now was Yeong-Ja’s hand on his chest. Otherwise he appeared to be absolutely livid.

“Pah”, the soldier barked, internally cursing himself for speaking about the rebel groups.

“And let me guess”, Yeong-Ja continued, ignoring how the soldier bared his teeth at her, “part of the rebel group is a former concubine that ran away. Why else would you bring it up?”

“A loud one, aren’t we? I’ll keep in mind to gag you when I fuck you and make you submit to me!”

In a flash San pushed Yeong-Ja from his lap and leaped down the stairs, crashing into the soldier, who had insulted her on several occasions. He punched his face over and over again, not stopping even when he heard the crack of bones.

Seonghwa rushed over to Yeong-Ja and placed his hand on her shoulder, forcing himself into her line of view. “You should leave now!” 

Yeong-Ja stared up at him with an open mouth. She noted his stern voice and expression but something inside her insisted to stay put. “He asked me to stay by his side”, she tried to bargain with Seonghwa, knowing full well her weak voice did nothing to compel him. 

“You do not want to see this”, Seonghwa only told her and grabbed her upper arm, pulling her up and away from the throne. 

“What kind of monster is he?” One of the other soldiers screamed as he tried to move away. 

Yeong-Ja looked over her shoulder upon the scream, seeing how San got tackled by several of his own guards, who tried to pull him away from the now lifeless body of the first soldier. She watched how San pushed all of the guards away and stood up, blood dripping from his fists. His eyes had turned turquoise as he fixed the soldier, who had screamed, with his stare. The last thing Yeong-Ja saw was San snarling, revealing larger canines than a human being should have, before she got pushed through the door behind the throne.

“What is happening to him?” She asked in concern and stared up at Seonghwa’s grim expression. Yeong-Ja stumbled along the wooden path, trying to keep up with the pace Seonghwa had.

“That’s something he’ll have to tell you himself.” Seonghwa opened the door to her quarters and gently pushed her inside. “Stay here and do not come out until I or a servant come for you!”

“What about San? Can I leave when he-?”

“No!” Seonghwa interrupted her immediately, his grip on her shoulder tightening. “In this state San can’t be near you! He wouldn’t want that!” 

Before Yeong-Ja could ask more questions, Seonghwa let go of her and closed the door in front of her nose. She wrapped her arms around her upper body and slowly walked to the large bed while all of her thoughts were with San.

Seonghwa basically ran back to the throne hall, seeing the bloodbath in front of him. He ordered the guards around as he tried to get a better grip of the situation. So far he counted four dead bodies already and several injured guards - which were thankfully on the lighter side. 

San stalked across the room to the remaining living soldier. He pushed himself through the guards that tried to hold him back, his hands that had already turned into claws reached out for the soldier and his turquoise eyes fixed him in the corner of the room. When San broke through his guards he landed on all fours but it didn’t stop him, instead he just continued to crawl forward. He growled menacingly and ignored the guards that grabbed onto his clothes and legs.

“They’re going to kill you! They will hunt you like the animal you are!”

San licked over his canines and pushed one last time forward, breaking free and reaching the soldier. He wrapped his hand around the soldier’s throat, his sharp claws digging into the skin and drawing blood. San leaned down to his face, leaving only a hair’s width between them. “They can try”, he growled before he snapped his back. 

Even though the soldier was dead, San still ripped his throat out and clawed at his upper body. He had lost all of his control, letting his wolf overpower him.

‘Die, die, die, die!’ The wolf chanted over and over again as he relished in the disembodiment of the soldiers. A small part of him had been incredibly proud of his mate for handling the situation so quick-witted but it did nothing for the rage he felt. Nobody insulted his mate and would get out of that alive. He scanned the room, making sure none of the enemies had survived, grinning even when he saw their bodies - or what was left of them. He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes, the stench of blood infiltrated his nostril as well as the fact the scent of his mate was missing.

Seonghwa and seven other guards stormed towards San, grabbing him and placing huge chains around his arms and wrists. They struggled quite a bit to keep San in check but did it in the end, despite his writhing and twisting.

They brought him to his private quarters and chained San up against his own bed, making sure he wouldn’t be able to break free unless he regained his human consciousness again.

“Take the time to cool off again”, Seonghwa told him with a pained smile on his lips. “You did what you had to. We’ll clean up the mess and take care of the rebel groups. Their scent will be traceable.”

San growled at the mention of the rebel groups, pulling at his chains as well. ‘Anybody associated with these soldiers has to die!’ 

Seonghwa sighed deeply and rubbed a hand over his face. He only hoped San would regain control again sooner than later. He didn’t want to imagine the consequences otherwise.

Yeong-Ja sat up on the bed as she heard the commotion outside her room. She scooted to the edge and listened with bated breath, hearing some muffled words being spoken as well as the rattling of chains. The woman swallowed the lump forming in her throat and stood up, walking to the door that connected her room with San’s. One of her hands clutched the turquoise pendant hanging around her neck while the other hovered above the door, trembling from the nervousness running through her body.

A pitiful whimper from the other side of the door, settled her decision and she pulled the sliding door open. Yeong-Ja glanced into the darkened room, her breath catching in her throat when her eyes connected with the turquoise glowing ones from San.

He whimpered again, trying to move one hand in a weak attempt to reach for her. “Yeong-Ja”, he rasped before he wetted his lips with his tongue.

Yeong-Ja carefully stepped closer to the bed, both hands now clutching the pendant while her eyes took in every detail of the scene before her. 

San laid splayed across the mattress, his upper body slightly hoisted up by the dozens of pillows behind his back. His arms were pulled to the side by heavy looking chains that wrapped around them up to his elbow. His fingers, which appeared more like claws, had blood slowly drying on them. Same with his clothes that got covered in blood stains and started to dry up. San had blood smeared over his lower face as well, the dark liquid a stark contrast to his smooth skin and his glowing eyes.

“San?” She asked hesitantly, halting at the end of the bed. Concern was written all over her features and it only deepened when he whimpered again. Yeong-Ja stared at him, a knot forming in her chest from the helplessness that suddenly arose inside of her. She wanted to help him, be there for him, but she didn’t know how.

A loud crack rang through the room and San broke free in the blink of an eye. He grabbed Yeong-Ja by the waist and slammed her down on the mattress, caging her underneath his body. He leaned down and nosed along her neck, inhaling deeply her intoxicating scent. “Our mate”, he rumbled and pressed his pelvis against her core.

The way San easily threw her onto the bed, knocked Yeong-Ja’s breath out of her lungs. The heat and throbbing inside her lower regions built up tenfold out of nowhere, leaving her incredibly aroused.

“We’ll take good care of our mate,” he breathed against the sensitive part of her neck, gently nibbling the skin even, “we’ll make her feel full with our cock, make her full of our cum until she’ll carry our pups.” He spoke more to himself than to her, too consumed by his own hunger and lust.

Yeong-Ja mewled softly underneath him when he ripped her clothes off, leaving her in a few shredded pieces of fabric but otherwise bare for his eyes. She wanted to hide from his intense gaze but stopped upon hearing him growl. Instead she raised her hands above her head, intertwining her fingers even, to show she wouldn’t hide a single part of her body from his sight. 

He growled almost impatiently as he grabbed her by the hips - the chains around his arms clanged loudly with each movement. With ease he lifted her body and turned her around so she was on all fours. He tore the fabric of his pants open while he pushed Yeong-Ja’s upper body into the mattress, presenting her ass nicely for him. 

Yeong-Ja gasped for air when he thrusted into her with one swift motion. Her walls tightened around his shaft, squeezing him hard from the sudden intrusion. She arched her back, changing the angle slightly he’d fuck into her. 

He grabbed her hair and held her down, pressing her into the mattress with one hand. Part of the cold chains rested on her back, adding to the intense feeling. The other grabbed onto her hip, keeping her body in place as he started to thrust into her. He snapped his hips so his pelvis hit her ass cheeks and created a loud slapping sound that reverberated through the whole room. He growled with each thrust, gaining strength from the increasing moans that turned higher in pitch with every snap of his hips.

Yeong-Ja cried out in pleasure, feeling her insides tingle in pleasure. Every fibre of her body reacted to him and sent her over the edge. If he hadn’t held her hip with a vice-like grip, she would have collapsed on the mattress. She barely caught her own breath when he used his strength again. She whined over the loss of his dick from her throbbing hole but yelped when he turned her back around and slammed her back into the mattress once more.

His claws ran over her skin, leaving thin red lines along their path. He moved them from her neck over her chest and down her sides until he stopped at her hips. His eyes landed on the moon tattoo on her thigh, grinning wickedly as he dropped down and licked over the dark ink. “Our mate. We’re marking her for good this time.” He nibbled around her tattoo, licking and kissing it in his way as well. Until he found a spot close to her core.

Yeong-Ja arched her back and screamed out when San bit down on her thigh, together with plunging two fingers into her hole at the same time. The pain and pleasure battled inside of her for the prominent feeling as San’s large canines stayed inside her flesh while he started to fuck his fingers into her at a brutal pace.

Only after he felt satisfied, he pulled away from the bite mark, rumbling pleased to see his own mark on her skin. He leaned down and licked over the tender wound, sealing it with his saliva. “You’re such a good mate for us. So perfect. Taking everything so well.”

With one last kiss on the bite mark he moved to her centre, brushing his lips over her sensitive nub and teasing her folds with a few licks. All while he still pounded his fingers into her relentlessly. He only slowed down his movements to add his tongue to the mixture, pushing it along his fingers into her hole. His nose nudged into her nub during the process, making her mewl and whine in pleasure.

As her high built up yet again, Yeong-Ja wanted to clutch her legs together but his broad shoulders and a tight grip on her thigh prevented her from doing so. She had to endure the onslaught of pleasure to her clit and folds, being toppled over the edge when he added a third finger to push into her. Yeong-Ja’s whole body trembled and was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, her breathing erratic and her mind wrapped in a cotton-like bliss.

He lapped at her essence, slurping up every last drop, before he pushed himself up and ripped the rest of his own pants and shirt away. He tore at the chains as well, getting rid of them and finally being just as bare as her. His dick slapped against his toned stomach, thick and throbbing, with droplets of precum oozing out of its tip. He leaned back down again and rolled his hips against her core, lathering his shaft with her juices and wetting it again before he pushed himself inside of her.

Yeong-Ja didn’t get a warning, nor was she prepared for what was to come. Her legs got pushed to her chest, where he wrapped his arms around to hold them secure while he rammed his dick into her tight hole. The drag along her walls had her thoughts spiralling and her high building rapidly again. Yeong-Ja grabbed onto the sheets of the bed, needing something to ground herself.

“Such a good mate”, he rumbled, accentuating each word with a harsh thrust, “taking us so well. Feeling so good around our cock. Our mate is the only one we need, only one we want.” He pushed into her, getting more and more aggressive since her moans spurred him on. “Need to breed her. Need pups. Need her full of our cum.”

When he let go of her legs, they fell almost limply back on the mattress, spread wide so he could still fuck into her. He grabbed onto her sides, his claws slightly digging into her skin as he continued to push into her. He grunted and growled, hitting the soft spot inside her. 

Yeong-Ja cried out in pleasure, writhing underneath him as she couldn’t control her own body anymore. She grabbed onto her hair with one hand, moaning obscenely loud. Her senses zoned in on the connection between their bodies and with one hard thrust she came undone once more.

He stilled his movements, having his dick pushed inside of her core as far as possible. He felt how the base engorged, forming the knot that would prevent any of his seed spilling out. He kept his position, leaning on his elbows and staring down at the connection. He could see how her entrance got spread wide from the building knot, which was enough to make him spill inside of her. His dick twitched and shot rope after rope of white hot cum into her, painting her insides white and filling her up to the brim.

“So good. Taking it all. Our mate will be round and plump with our pups.” He rumbled in satisfaction, watching how her lower stomach slightly expanded from the amount of cum he shot into her.

Even after he was done, he stayed in place - the knot wouldn’t reduce in its size anytime soon. He tore his glowing eyes away from their connected body parts, letting them wander over her body and up to her face. Out of the corner of the eye he noticed something around her neck.

Yeong-Ja winced slightly when he shifted his weight and reached out to carefully pull at her necklace until he had the turquoise pendant resting in his palm. She watched how the glow in his eyes slowly died down and his warm brown eyes returned again.

San’s gaze flicked from the pendant up to her face, confusion spreading over his features since his memory appeared a little hazy. “Yeong-Ja?” His voice was soft with a hint of worry lacing it. When she only smiled weakly - still too out of it from multiple orgasms - concern replaced San’s confusion. He wanted to push himself up when both of them winced, making him look down at his body again. San scoffed and shook his head. “Can’t believe my wolf fucked you before I did”, he grumbled, hiding his face behind his dark bangs.

“Your wolf?” She asked quietly, her voice hoarse from the constant moans. Yeong-Ja raised one hand to cup his cheek, lifting his head until San looked at her again. She rubbed her thumb over his cheek bone and smiled softly at him, even brushing his bangs out of his eyes. 

San sighed and closed his eyes for a moment, gathering his thoughts. “I’m not entirely human”, he mumbled, swallowing harshly in fear of her reaction. “I am part wolf.” He noticed how her gaze dropped down to his tattoo, making him grin slyly. San turned his head from side to side and looked around, noting the broken headrest of the bed and the chains discarded on the mattress to his sides. He slowly gained scenes of his memory back, putting the pieces together to get a whole picture. “I’m sorry”, he whispered and his head dropped down again.

“Why are you apologising?” Yeong-Ja got up on her elbows, ignoring the sting between her legs from the movement. “You have nothing to be sorry about!” 

San shook his head. “I wanted to ease you into this mess since it’s a lot to take. I understand if you’re afraid of me now and want to keep your distance. I’m deeply sorry for losing control over my wolf and letting him use you like that.” To his surprise he heard Yeong-Ja chuckle, so he looked back up at her with wide eyes.

“It is a lot to take in”, she agreed with a twinkle in her eyes, “but it doesn’t mean I can’t take it. The moment I requested the tattoo was the moment I decided to be in this for the long run. You don’t have to hide from me, don’t have to keep any secrets. I’m yours. Wholeheartedly.”

San cursed under his breath as he grabbed Yeong-Ja by the neck and pressed his lips against hers. He hummed into the kiss, barely suppressing the grin building from the pleased rumbles his wolf made. San licked over her lips, asking for entrance and deepening the kiss when she gave it to him. He slowly started to roll his hips as well, feeling his hard on buried so snuggly inside of her.

Yeong-Ja arched her back, her eyes rolling to the back of her head. While San’s movements were a lot softer they were precise and hit her insides just right.

San took his sweet time with her, adoring every second of it. For once he could enjoy the pleasure of life without his wolf commenting on everything he did. For once he felt like he became one - not just with himself but with another person as well, a person so special in her own unique way. And he would show her his gratitude every single day for the rest of his life.

© all rights reserved

Taglist: @xavi-in-kpopland​ @songsoomin​ 

[solar4seekstron]

Meeting You

Transformers IDW: You Truly Are Something- TFIDW!Kup x Human!Nonbinary/GN!Reader Part One

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Introduction Indie Series

Content: 16+, Basically Bumblebee 2018 logic. Thats right we’re pulling a Bumblebee. But he robot and human wanna fuck lmao.

TW/Tags: Kup basically gains a human friend, Kinda, Human is nonbinary which I mean we got a robot one so why not a human, that human in earthspark isnt confirmed as far as I know, I honestly really got into the story and descided it’ll be a five parter series, no real warnings just 16+ since both characters are both adults. I think that’s all.

You were a mechanic. Going to your typical college in your rather large town. A pretty good job close by your home.

You are a pretty talented mechanic. But a pretty large loner. You always had a love for cars.

But you also aren’t that close to your family either.

They were more of a traditional bunch. Being ones who believed you must marry at a certain age and all that crap. You coming out wasn’t easy. You were able to save up your money just in case your family chose to kick you out.

Finding a pretty nice apartment with a garage under and all to yourself with plenty of room to do your work near the middle of the town.

You moved into it real soon. Going to anyway. Of course your parents kicked you out. Throwing your stuff on the yard. You have already called for help to carry your stuff luckily and moved into your new home.

Your family not knowing where you live and your friends leaving you alone. Then again your parents were the ones who picked them out.

You continued to work at a machanical shop. Being paid pretty well ad even doing extra work in your own garage for people who know your talents. A pretty goos side hustle when you weren’t working. One day though.

Everything change when you chose to take a day off.

You descided to go to the mountains and enjoy some fast food as you watched the sun set and listen to the birds around you.

When making your way back to your home. There seemed to be a busted old truck almost trying to make it in your garage. You checked it out and looked around. The keys just on the seat. And so you brought it inside, then your own car.

You noticed on the wheel it had this sort of symbol on it.

You didn’t pay too much attention to it. You noticed there’s so much to improve on the truck and so you descided to pull an old nighter. And so hours went by and eventually you stared to yawn and your stomach started to growl.

And so you sat up and leaned against the truck. So much done. And yet so much more to do.

You’d then gently pat the side of the truck as you spoke to it but mostly to yourself with a smile. “Well, no project is perfect. Just a quick meal and back to work we go.” You then chuckle before getting up and heading upstairs.

Doublechecking your garage is locked before leaving your light on.

You then grabbed a sandwich as soon as you made it to your kitchen from this morning and turned on the tv in your living room.

Sitting and enjoying it before realizing you’re more hungry then you thought.

Little did you know. You accidentally started the truck and pretty soon Kups power started up. His eyes glowing in his alt mode as he soon transforms. Slowly he’s about to stand up but hits his helm at the ceiling gently.

Causing him to grown and rub the top of his helm.

Kup then looked around. Confused at what he’s even looking at. Noticing a few picturs put up on the wall.

Tools he’s never seen. Letting out a sigh and rubbing the bridge of his nose before looking at your car. He then spoke to the car thinking it’s another transformer.

“Psst. Hey. Do you know where we are?” He gently poked it.

He waited for the car to respond. Only to not receive anything. That’s when he realized the car isn’t alive like him. He lets out a groan and starts looking around.

He then sees the garage door. He places his cervos against the door. Gently pressing with confused optics and a frown on his dermas. He then spoke as he keeps thinking to himself. “What in blazes.”

Little did he know you have come down and when midway down the stairs expecting to see your car and the truck.

You instead see a busted giant robot gently pushing at the garage door as he whispered to himself. You’d look at him and slowly try to step up the stairs. But of course you accently step on a tool….

And slip.

You tumbled down the stairs a bit. Catching Kups attention. He turns around. His blue optics bright as your brown eyes stared at him. You were on one of the flat steps on the stairs.

Your legs on the side and chest against the floor. Your arms supporting you up at one of the stops on the stairs.

You both silent for a moment…….And then.

”AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” You screamed.

”AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” Kup then screamed.

”AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!?!?!” You both screamed.

You’d then pass out. Kup kneeling there before getting a little closer. He then gently poked you with his digit.

He pulled away for a moment a bit hesitant before moving his cervo closer. Gently putting it under you and turning you over. Still on the stairs. You now laid on your back.your legs still on their side.

Kup stared at you as his mind raced. You’re one of the humans in this town and yet…different?”

You had wavey, almost curly hair. Your face neutral with not much make up. Your chest pretty small. And a short sleeved shirt. The front going down your chest a bit. Wore some baggy jeans and shows. A watch on your wrist.

He just cant tell what gender you are. He huffed and started to look around more.

What is he suppose to do? He sits there for a moment before looking at you. He starts to think. Soon having a flashback of when he came to this earth.

-Flashback

Kup was busy driving in his new alt mode. Being sent to earth by Optimus for any chance of energon and signal of decepticon activity on the planet. He sent other bots to different cities and towns of the planet.

All in different groups.

Kup grew confident and descided to go alone. Making his way down at the dead of night and scanning an alt mode.

He noticed the forest and started there. But because he didn’t know the way the forest works as much he accedntly drove off road. He tried to transform. But the trees were so thick it was hard thanks to constantly being hit. When he was finally down he let out a painful groan.

There was huge damage to his system. He was able to transform and get himself out. Getting on his knees and looking around. Then transformed and started to drive.

He believed he can get a good signal if he got deeper into the town.

But slowly his signal and power was going down. He powered off. Slowly his alt mode drifting closer to a garage.

He just sat there until you came an hour later.

-End of flashback

He was soon pulled out of his thoughts. Hearing you softly groan as you sat up. He watched you for a moment. Then looked around confused. He can only stare and wait until you finally looked at him.

You then take in a deep breath. Standing up and dusting your lap before walking downstairs.

Kup watched you. His helm turning as he stared down at you. You then got to your work desk and started messing with some tools as you hummed to yourself.

He then spoke as his optics narrowed and looked down at you once he asks. “Are you- going to walk to me?”

You let out a hum before responding.

“Why would I? You ain’t real after all. Just something my mind made up to taunt me ‘cause I work too much! Haha!!!”

You keep at work as Kup looked at you with concern. He then sighed and gently grabbed you. His cervo basically covering your whole body as he picked you up.

Then bringing yu a bit closer to his helm as he sat on the floor.

You having a tool in your hand and keeps holding it with your arm bent. Your other stuck with your body in his cervo.

Your eyes just wide and a forced smile on your lips as you stared at him.

He then spoke as gently as he can. “Look human, sorry to break it to you but I am real. The truck you found infront of your……place? Is real.”

He placed his own cervo over his chest when e said that last part. You continue to look at him before looking at your tool. Then lifting it about to hit yourself with it.

Kup noticed and grabbed it as he spoke. “Hitting yourself wont make me go away kid! So just don’t!”

After a bit of a struggle you finally speak after letting out a sigh. “Fine…So what are you?” You still held your tool as you looked up at him. He then sighed and spoke.

”I’m a Cybertronian. Of this outer space planet called Cybertron. I basically transform into your cars and truck of this planet but this robot mode is my true form. I’m on this side called the Autobots who are fighting these bad robots called the Decepticons who try to take over the galaxy. I just came here to see any enemy signals before I got seriously hurt in your towns forest. I was able to get close enough before shutting down. Luckily you found me and brought me back to life so I can finally speak and think once more of how to get back home.”

You two remain silent for a moment as you just stared up at him.

”Did any of that make any sense?”

He asked as he keeps looking at you with curious optics. You’d then pull your hand back and then throw the weapon at his forhelm.

Hitting it perfectly as he closed his optics for a moment before looking down at you with angry optics and a frown once more. You then spoke as his optics narrowed. “Sorry, had to be sure. Now if you’ll excuse me. I’m going to pass out.”

He then gently shook you around before speaking once more.

“NO! No! You need to stay awake!” he then sighed before closing his optics and looking away as he trys to think. He then looked back at you before speaking once more.

“Look how about you just Sleep for now. And in the morning we can- talk. Yeah? Just gather your thoughts. I do the same- And we’ll- figure this out. Alright?”

He looked at you with pleading optics as he stared down at you. You let out a soft sigh and gently tap at his digit.

He then gently puts you down as you looked at him.

”And you won’t escape?” He huffed and looked at his arm that’s a little messed up when you asked. Him then responding.

”Can’t really leave. Too messed up and if you happen to have a decepticon here. I can’t really help protect ya.”

You let out a soft sigh. Looking at the garage door before looking at the pictures on your work desk. One of them showing you and a bulldog together. Happy and bright.

You let out another sigh as Kup keeps looking at you.

You then spoke as you rubbed your eyes and nose trying to keep yourself together.

”Ok ok ok ok ok. It’s only- 4 am….So tomorrow at like 11 we can go over what the hell we goin’ do ok?” Kup just nods as he sat there.

His back against the wall as he looked at his arm. You looked at him before looking down then heading upstairs.

You spoke. “Um- good night?” He then responded as he glanced at you. “G’night..” you keep walking.

Making your way to your room and falling on the bed.

Kup meanwhile letting out a groan as he looked at his messed up waist as well. He then lets out a sigh while he thought back to the wreckers.

Seeing their faces along with Optimus and Blurrs.

He might be here for while…might as well try to catch up on some sleep while at it.

I swear the other chapters will be longer and have a lot more going on. I hope you guys enjoy this fic. When someone requested for a human x reader I knew it would be a challenge.

And it was-

But I saw a large opportunity and realized. I can make a fun series for it.

Notes: Plan for the series- Basically since I’m pulling a Bublebee 2018 there will be shenanigans. So Decepticons will show up. Between the 4th and 5th chapter there will be a time skip and eventually 18+. I mean- have you seen my other stuff???? Optimus and the other Autobots will show up eventually. And instead of Charlie staying behind. Reader will leave to be with Kupwhen the bots go to work with the government. Basically being Kups human when the current decepticons in the story is over. Hopefully you guys like this!

As always a repost is appreciated and I hope you guys have a good rest fo your day!

[cav3d1ver]

i have so many questions about your ghoul OCs!! tell us EVERYTHING!! 🥺💗

Ooooh boy this is gonna be a big one!

So first let be establish who is who, The right ghoul (the one missing more skin) is Cyn-Cyn, full name being Cynthia Deborah Halliday. She was 19 when the bombs dropped! The left ghoul (looks more like a fo4 ghoul) is Taury, full name being Theodore Abraham Halliday. He was 14 when the bombs dropped!

Now onto the backstory, which uh... May contain some triggering stuff? And also some weird grammar since this is just me word vomiting.

Their dad was a air force pilot, HUGE patriot, and a stereotypical 50s husband. Basically he wanted the white picket fence life, but wasn't actually interested in raising his kids or helping besides paying the bills.

Their mom was an exhausted nursing student who was swept off her feet by their dad, and postponed her dreams when she got pregnant right after getting married.

Cynthia was a pretty tom-boyish kid, pretty loud, and had a lot of meltdowns where she would bite and scratch at herself. She was quite stressful to raise, especially alone without any help (besides financial) from the father.

(I do want to add Cyn-Cyn and Taury are both autistic, but only Taury was diagnosed with anything. Cyn-Cyn was moreso passed off as a 'problem child' while Taury was often infantilized. (Also I AM autistic too, which isn't to say my depictions are perfect, but that I based their experiences off my own).

Right after Theodore was born, their mom got some really bad postpartum, and uh... pre-war mental health stuff wasn't the best. Cynthia wasn't in school yet, so she kind of took over raising/caring for her brother.

Around the end of summer, their dad made their mom get a lobotomy as a 'cure' to her depression. It (obviously) didn't go well, and their mom became rather unresponsive and only able to do some tasks.

This only further forced Cynthia into a caretaker role, and obviously this isn't good for a kids development. Instead of having more age-appropriate reactions to sadness/anger, she would bottle up her feelings and have meltdowns often ending with her hurting herself. While Theodore grew up, he never really learned to talk. He hit all his other milestones early. In reality, he just struggled to communicate his needs being so young, ending with him having pretty common silent meltdowns that left him non-speaking.

Eventually he did learn sign language, and so did Cynthia! (Actually quite useful for her, since she is hard of hearing, yet also undiagnosed because teachers often assumed she was purposely ignoring them)

Both Cynthia and Theodore were held back twice at different points in their schooling, Cynthia often hyperfixating if Theodore was alright, and Theodore just... struggling with how he was being taught.

At some point Theo was diagnosed, and that kind of made the teachers stop trying to get him to learn. Saw him as a lost cause deserving of sympathy.

Around 8 or so Theo started talking a LITTLE bit. Mostly relies on signing when face-to-face even now.

Theodore's special interests cycled between fossils and Grognak, this remains consistent even centuries after the war.

Once Cynthia got in middle school, and detentions started being her new punishment, she finally started getting some more friends that she met during detention. They were all very much the classic rebellious/anarchist/etc kids, and it was easy for Cynthia to start believing in these ideals, too. Particularly she was interested in disability rights and campaigning for helping innocents effected by war.

By highschool, Cynthia was taking Taury to a bunch of protests and rallies. He did believe and sympathize with the cause, being their for moral support, but tended to just sit to the side with some headphones and a Grognak comic.

The protests were actually quite a good way for Cynthia to get out her anger/pent up emotions. Who knew shouting and (sometimes) breaking stuff helped with that?

When the bombs dropped, Cynthia and Theodore were both in the living room. Dad was in his man-shed and their mom gardening (which was all she really did, anymore).

She panicked, and basically shoved Theodore into a kitchen cabinet and got in next to him, trying to use her body as a meat-shield. I mean, if you look at her and then look at him, you can tell who soaked up most of the damage. I guess she was successful.

The actual FUSING happened after the bombs, she was conscious, Theo not so much, but still enough to cling to her side. They were both covered in open wounds. She pulled them both out of the hiding spot, and crawled over to where the medkit in the kitchen was. Their was one stimpack, which was luckily unbroken. When she stabbed it into Theo's leg, it basically caused their touching wounds to heal together. She honestly didn't even notice that had happened until far later, too pumped up on adrenaline to really think straight. (I have a little short story about her POV of this time, I might post someday).

She pulled them along the ground to their neighbors small bunker. The neighbors were dead, didn't make it inside in time.

They both spent 30 years half-conscious eating away at the food supply. Neither really had a sense of time. If they were down there as long as it felt, why hadn't Cynthia's wounds healed yet?

When they ran out of food, they both didn't know what to do. While the bunker had a water filter, there was no room to actually grow food.

After a few days of starving, Cynthia actually took the lid of a can and used it to peel some of her own skin and meat off of her thigh and put it into a can. She had Theodore eat it, telling him she had found one more can of food. She ate a little, too.

That gave them enough energy to go outside for the first time in decades. They found that outside the bunker, which had become a swampy rad-pond, was a good place for giant roaches to lay eggs and live. They smacked one over the head and brought it back home, cooking it over their hotplate. It was disgusting. It was the freshest thing they ate since either of them could remember.

They only ever ventured out a few times, finding clothes (like that novelty shirt that conveniently fits them!), Grognak comics, music holotapes, etc.

Eventually their hotplate broke, which means they have been eating only raw radroach and (sometimes) brain fungus for over 100 years.

At one point while scavenging they saw a Centaur. It looked like them. It didn't attack them, they looked too much like a Centaur themselves. They took the mirror down in their bunker that day.

This hermit lifestyle continued on for the next 170 or so years, isolation causing them to become even more codependent.

Cynthia knew this wasn't healthy, so when they found a karaoke machine with a microphone, they took it and hooked it up to their radio. That's how they started their broadcasts, as Cyn-Cyn and Taury.

It consisted of news segments (mostly trashing on the NCR, Legion, and any other political power Cynthia decided she didn't like), sometimes Taury would have his own quiz segment which... was basically a way to talk about his special interests, there was music consisting of trashy punk and Elvis, and sometimes another quiz segment for wastelanders to ask about pre-war life.

Cynthia tends to be the main speaker, but often tries to prompt Taury into speaking too, she knows he needs to communicate with more people than she.

She is still listening out for news of a doctor that could separate them. She knows he deserves to live his life independently and as normally as being a ghoul will let him. Maybe the way she feels her mind starting to slip away is part of it, too.

[lunabug2004]

I want to preface this post with the fact that I find Mileven completely adorable in seasons 1 & 2. They were truly at their peak and I adore them. I also absolutely love Dustin and Lucas. Now onto the post:

Dustin and Lucas make me so mad in s1 on behalf of Mike. Them telling Mike that he's practically obsessed and in love with El just because he missed one (1) day of school to help a kid who is their age and obv scared/in need of help, then kept her around because he thought she could help them find their missing friend... is insane to me.

I understand that they are kids, and that's why I don't really hold this against them... but it's so frustrating to watch from both a Mileven perspective and a Byler perspective. Mileven because they (or Mike at least) didn't get the chance to come to this conclusion on their own, he was basically forced to confront his newlyfound feelings in the middle of one of the worst times in his life. Byler because if Mike really does suffer from internalized homophobia omg did this mess him up even more. Like "oh, they think I like her so it must be true, right? Maybe I'm not so weird after all." type thinking was probably occurring.

Plus just the forced-ness of it all in general makes me uncomfy.

Watching Dustin say "all you ever wanna do is pay attention to her" as if it's a completely bad thing is so saddening to me, because yes, Mike really does care for El, but he's also so deadset on keeping her around and believing in her at that point because he knows she has a direct connection with Will.

Also Lucas's "El, will you marry me?" and Mike being so genuinely confused and annoyed by it is so telling to me. He was definitely not focused on his feelings for El, romantic or not, at that time! I don't see how he could be! His best friend is missing, he's known El for a couple days at least, and we know the Duffers don't believe in love at first sight (which doesn't mean they can't write it but still).

Idk, I know I'm not alone on this, but the whole situation just feels weird and slightly forced w/ romantic Mileven in s1.