#for the record doc did see grian

[blueishspace]

Looped sun 7

Loop #255

Pearl: What do you mean you spent the last 2 loops redstoning mate?

Mumbo: Grian was better at redstone then me! I couldn't possibly let that stand!

Pearl: Uh huh.

Mumbo: But finally balance is restored.

Pearl: But wasn't it a bit boring? To just do that?

Mumbo: Well I didn't just do that. I built some stuff, got better at it.

Pearl: But?

Mumbo: I guess I was a bit of a spoon. Overdone it... But I don't mind it, I like experimenting with creating machines using redstone! It's fun for me.

Pearl: Hmm... What if you tried to learn other types of redstone?

Mumbo: Other types?

Pearl: You know you have very distinct type of redstone.

Mumbo: Do I?

Pearl: Yeah, maybe you could try to learn other ways of doing redstone. Even of you keep your own style maybe it could be a fun experiment.

Loop #256

Mumbo: Ehm... Zed? Are you home?

Zed: Hello there Mumbo! Came to see my cave of contraptions? It's a bit empty right now but -

Mumbo: Actually I wanted to ask if I could join in?

Zed: Wait, really?

Mumbo: Yeah? It sounded like a fun...way to do some redstone.

Zed: Hmmm I never tought about this happening...hmm, alright!

The dual Mumbo-Zed cave of contraptions ended up being the most interesting base of the season.

Loop #258

Pearl: How do you plan to learn redstone from Tango?

Mumbo: Well... I'll join in decked out!

Pearl: You can't just ...ask him to join in.

Mumbo: No no! I have a plan! I took last loop to learn to play the boardgame version...!

Pearl: ..why?

Mumbo: I'll show you!

Mumbo: Hey Tango, what are you doing here?

Tango: Oh just planning for a new minigame idea.

Mumbo: Oh...same!

Tango: Oh? Do you want to share.

Mumbo: Ehm... do you know the boardgame decked out?

Tango: ... Yeah, I didn't think you would Mumbo!

Mumbo: Was thinking of creating a version of it using redstone.

Tango: No way, that was what I was thinking!

Mumbo: N-no way! We should totally do it together!

Tango: That sounds like a great idea.

Tango: Me and Mumbo are proud to finally show you, Decked Out!

Pearl: ... Mumbo?

Mumbo: Y-yeah?

Pearl: You are...scary good at manipulation.

Mumbo: I am?

Pearl: What do you call that?

Mumbo: Well I...uh

Pearl: Well?

Mumbo: Oh pants.

Loop #259

Grian: Why have you given Mumbo this idea?

Pearl: Because it sound smart at the time mate.

Grian: This is the worst possible timeline.

Pearl: Because Doc and Mumbo have turned Hermitcraft into a redstone nightmare?

Grian: No, because it's a little humid ... Of course It's because of Doc and Mumbo!

Loop #263

This time Grian had started off towards the end of Evo, just in time to go to the end, the plan was simple: Defeat the dragon at record speeds qnd depending on what variant of the watchers it was either join them or tell them off and possibly go sun titan mode on them if they pushed. The plan had lasted 5 seconds until he recognized a familiar mustache on the dragon's snout thing.

Grian: Mumbo!?!?

Mumbo: Hi G... I think It's because of the end crystals back in Last Life.

Grian: Holy... you...

Mumbo: ... Do you think you could stay here? It's a bit lonely here...

Grian: Yeah, of course Mumbo.

Loop #267

Scott opened his eyes to a big room, by the drapery he could tell he was a noble of some kind, looking by how fancy the decor was it was likely some form of royalty. He was also wearing some gloves which was weird considering how warm it was inside. Then he heard two knocks and a voice.

Pearl: Scott? Scott?

Scott: Gem? What's wrong?

Pearl: Do you wanna build a snowman?

And Scott realized exactly were he was.

Scott: I can't believe it.

Pearl: Shut up.

Scott: Gem is Kristoff?

Pearl: I said shut up mate.

Scott: Ah! Never.

Loop #269

Grian: What's with that face? ... What did you loop as last time.

Pearl: Selene.

Grian: The Moon titaness?

Pearl: Yep, you aren't the only that can go titan mode anymore.

Grian: ... If ... If this is linked to our winner titles. And Scar's is the Earth does that mean he is eventually going to end up... looping as Gaia?

Pearl: Oh ... Oh I see what you mean. Yeah that is... Horrific.

Loop #271

Mumbo was an enderman hybrid with amnesia, Scar was a goat hybrid president and Grian was absolutely done with looping into the dsmp. He knows It's because they are both minecraft servers but still...

Loop #272

Mumbo: I don't know mate, are you sure? I never watched tried third life... I'm kinda used to Last Life.

Grian: Ah don't worry you'll do fine!

Mumbo: I... alright, I'll try it.

Grian and Scar had managed to steal the banner when Ren came after them with his army. Mumbo knew they could take care of themselves but he couldn't just...do nothing. It took him seeing the shocked faces of the red army to realize had accidentally shifted to his ender dragon form. At least Scar and Grian looked excited.

Loop #275

Grian woke up in a room he had never seen before... wait. No.

Grian: Scott? Is this another-

Scott: Welcome to the second ever loop proofed escape room!

Grian: ... No.

Scott: Pearl helped built this one.

Gria : No!

Scar: I can't believe it took so long to finish that first room! ... I'm going to be last.

Scott: ... That wasn't the first room.

Scar: What?

Scott: You finished the entire escape room Scar.

Scar: ...

Scott: How does this stuff keep happening?

Loop #277

Grian: I've made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement.

Mumbo: What did you do?

Grian: In this loops Grumbot and NPG aren't sentient so I tried to merge the npc Grian AI with the Grumbot AI.

Mumbo sounds incredibly pained.

Mumbo: Why?

Grian: I don't know.

Prev Next First

[amethystfairy1]

In TTSBC, since Doc & Etho have the ability to jack a wi-fi signal to the Undercity and actually get news...what did they think when they first saw Cute Guy on the TV? Did they know it was Grian? DO they occasionally watch the news as a means of checking up on how their Pesky Bird is doing if they do? I have so many questions about this, TTSBC is like, living rent-free in a corner of my mind atm XD

They knew it was Grian, yes! They're aware of what the pesky birds are up to and that he's Cute Guy, and I do like to think they check the news often to see what sort of progress he's making with public opinion about the under-city folk. Also Doc probably calls him to give him safety lectures pretty frequently, and I'm sure Etho has a highlights reel recorded and collected somehow. 😆

[give-grian-rights]

Hermitcraft Fic Rec!

HELLO. i have hundreds, HUNDREDS of hermitcraft fanfiction bookmarked and living in my brain without rent. Breaking this up into categories for some of my PERSONAL favorite fics in the fandom- including categories for shipping, crossover, and worldbuilding.

Some of these fics are from 2019 but generally speaking you don't need knowledge of past seasons you should be able to pick up on just about all of them. a lot of these are mostly included BECAUSE they're older and therefore, harder to accidentally stumble upon. put in no particular order.

If your fic is on here and you'd like it removed, send an Ask with the fic, a dm, etc

World Building

The Parting Glass / To Pass The Jungle You Have To Go All The Way Around - Sekrap.

Doc has been trying to forget. He has done everything everyone told him he should do to make the memories go away. And still the jungle calls for him. / He was a monster. Then, a man. Now, a machine. Doc, once a normal Creeper, was not meant to live. Let alone become a Player. He learned to speak, he learned to fight, he learned to build. Some things stayed the same. aka- the Domestic Creeper au.

____

Carpet Trick - CrazyCatMeow

You all know the double carpet trick right? What happens when that joint with a tired mad scientist meet.

Mob hybrids can't see carpets <3 extra silly and very lighthearted

____

Window Pane - blueticked

Tango and Impulse discuss the brand new presence of Helsknight.

It's not a coincidence that all the evil personas have red eyes.

Tango is a Hels, struggling with self-acceptance and his place in Hermitcraft, which was never meant to be for him. in my head ALL THE TIME

____

"I know" - KindaJustHere

Bdubs was used to death. He was used to being killed by his fellow hermits. He was very used to being killed by Grian. Maybe a little too much.

(This is based off Grian’s episode 61 of hermitcraft season 7 where Bdubs says “I know” and shoots himself) BDUBS SELF ESTEEM ANGST!! Griangst !!!! Emotionally fucked up Grian from YHS !!

____

Hiss and Scratch - TheNerdyTurtle96

Doc is a mad scientist who isn't afraid of anything. Actually, that's not true. His only weakness is cats.

exactly like it said it is . SO GOOD AND CUTE

____

For the Record - Anonymous

Tango shrugged. “Yeah, I guess I did. Xisuma’s teaching Impulse some Galactic Standard so he can cheat at enchanting or something. Apparently Xelqua’s, like, some sort of god in Xisuma’s culture? It was kind of unclear, I wasn’t paying attention when Impulse told me.”

“Huh,” Grian said vacantly. “How about that.”

oops! Grian is Xisuma's god. amazing

____ GrianMC - SixteenthDays

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Techno says frankly.

“You know,” Grian says again. “Your- Watchers.”

Techno squints for a moment before understanding visibly dawns behind his eyes. “Ohhh, you mean Chat?”

(On watchers, and Watchers.)

This IS technically a crossover but its more worldbuilding than anything else. its literally so funny. i love it

Crossover

These Days I Don't Feel Like Myself At All / Mercury (No One Can Unring This Bell) (Series Ongoing) - RoguishOne (DarkWolfMoon)

TommyInnit had died. Again. To Dream. Again. And it sucked exactly as much as he thought it would because he'd wanted to move on and have a chance to actually live this time. Seems he won't be getting that.

Then he gets pulled out of Limbo, but he doesn't wake up back in the cell with Dream or next to his bed on the server. He doesn't wake up on the Dream SMP at all.

Little does he know that this is the least of his worries.

i want to scream and cry and hypervenilate thinking about this fic series. literally cannot recommend it enough. your life will be ROCKED. THE WRITING IS SOOOOO OGOOOD . i just want to shake. i cannot put into words what this fic makes me feel.

____

Shells in the Foam (a Hermit!Tommy fanfic) - Cedarwhisp21

When Dream attacks Tommy in Logestshire, Tommy runs. Badly injured, he somehow manages to slip between worlds and wakes up in a badlands biome, on a server far from home, with no other players in sight.

The Hermits are surprised when a new player logs in, and confused when no-one's at spawn. Five days later, after waiting for the new player to introduce themselves, Xisuma uses his admin abilities to access their coordinates. He takes Impulse with him to welcome the new player to Hermitcraft, but instead of the beginnings of a base, they find something a lot more concerning.

NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION. the NUMBER ONE kudo-ed hermit fic . by my beloved. and using the one of the beloved au by pertrichormeraki . its so good and im sooo glad i was here for the ride of seeing it unfold <3

____

let me give you a piece of my mind - Interjection

Dream and Grian practice building for MCC, and hold a conversation in the process.

Or,

Grian gives an outside perspective on Dream’s actions. Dream is having none of it.

Grian is a fucked up lil guy <3 Dream is a piece of shit

____

He would not die - Nicoforlife

If phil could save only one person from this place, that would be enough.

Tldr I made phil a watcher :)

Watcher Phil and Grian !! ! !!

____

Scared as hell - Nhi_theuserof_this

Grian was one of the closest people to Fundy at this point. He wants to be honest, really, but with the rest of his family history being a total train wreck, he spends an awkwardly long time dancing around what he wants to say.

Tldr; Grian is Fundy’s uncle, Fundy comes out to him

OK SO THIS ONE. WAS BASED OFF ONE OF MY AUS but i had to include it. ok .short and sweet

It was just a game - QuasarsFaults (UNFINISHED)

Taurtis Has been on the server awhile now, he's made new friends, a really tasty toritos shop, a new job working with Concorp, and he's even made this really cool pirate rollercoaster. So why did his and Scar's idea go so wrong?

OK. so i honest to god cannot remember if this is my au or if i just partook in it. i think its my au. who knows. either way seeing this again makes me want to work on my own Taurtis-Became-a-Hermit-Instead-of-Grian fic

Shipping

heartfelt confession - mysteryguest

it shouldn't come as a surprise to iskall, he thinks, when he finally settles on a term that feels just right. and yet, it is. and it's dreadful, feeling that urge, that need to tell someone, without knowing if they would accept you or not.

at least he knows the person he can trust the most with this info is his boyfriend, mumbo.

non-binary and bigender Mumskull !!! coming out. finding identity. finding pronouns.

____

I Hate You (I Promise I Don't) - BewitchingNotes

If someone asked Grian why he was relentlessly pranking Etho now that he was finally back in Hermitland, he'd say it was just for pure fun.

To Etho, it meant Grian was mad at him.

To everyone else, Grian had a huge crush on the redstone user and obviously didn't know how to communicate it.

OR: Grian just wants Etho's attention, Etho misreads this as Grian being mad at him, Grian thinks Etho hates him because of his pranks and everyone else just wants these boys to communicate properly already. Grian's love language is pranks...i love it

____ A Study Of Love in the Universe Itself - 2point5

Love had a strange meaning on Hermitcraft, where everyone loved each other. 

OR

Joe looks into the different ways he loves some of his fellow members, and what that means for him as a human.

ITS A SERIES TOO AND ITS SOOOO GOOD i love it . Joe x Cleo x Bdubs x Etho . what more could you want. and their sexualities and how they perceive love is . OAUGHHGHGGHHGHGHBHGHFHHVIJXFSHDF IUSDHIUSAHDUIA

[cherrifire]

Archived in the Southlands: Another Man's Treasure

Case #0211905-A

Statement of Ren Dog, regarding an ongoing hunt to reclaim something special he lost.

[Ren] Dude, you just used some freaky magic shenanigans to pull the truth out of me! [Martyn] Freaky magic shenanigans is one way of putting it… But if you don’t… [Ren] Seriously dude, you're freaking me out. You have to tell me what's going on! [Martyn] You first.

Word count: 4084

For an AU between the 3rd Life Series + The Magnus Archives.

[AU Masterpost]

[Click]

(Door opening.)

[Ren] Hello? Martyn?

(Door closing then footsteps on a wooden floor.)

I should have known this place would be old and creepy. It's perfect for him- Ah!

(Stumbling, then several boxes and hundreds of papers falling.)

Oh geez…

How is he supposed to find anything in here without tripping over all this junk on the floor?

(A sigh then Ren starts to pick paper off the floor.)

He is the worst Archivist I’ve ever seen.

(A pause)

Why is my name on this one…

[Martyn] (Muffled as if through a wall) Ren?

(Door opening.)

[Ren] Martyn!

[Martyn] Ren, is that you making a mess in here?

[Ren] I’m cleaning it up now! I- I’m so sorry dude.

(Door closing then footsteps.)

[Martyn] It’s fine. I'll be able to find what I need when I need it regardless.

[Ren] What does that-

[Martyn] Why are you looking through my stuff again? This area is supposed to be off-limits.

[Ren] I didn’t mean to, I swear! This file just caught my attention.

[Martyn] (Sigh) Of course it did. The Hunt, right?

[Ren] Yeah… Um… Why is my name-

[Martyn] How did you even get in here, Ren? As I’m sure you’re aware, both Tim and Grian are out today so they couldn’t have let you in.

[Ren] I tracked down one of your extra keys. 

[Martyn] So you went through my room again? You never change, do you, Ren?

[Ren] I just… wanted to offer you a ride home.

[Martyn] Why?

(There's static for a moment.)

[Ren] I wanted to make sure you were safe. The thought of you walking home alone today was freaking me out. I was terrified that if something happened- that if someone hurt you… I don’t- I don't think I would have been able to forgive myself.

[Martyn] Oh… That’s not at all what I thought you’d say… Hmm…

[Ren] Um- excuse me, what was that?

[Martyn] Something just doesn’t add up…

[Ren] Dude, you just used some freaky magic shenanigans to pull the truth out of me!

[Martyn] Freaky magic shenanigans is one way of putting it… But if you don’t…

[Ren] Seriously dude, you're freaking me out. You have to tell me what's going on!

[Martyn] You first.

[Ren] Wh- What?

[Martyn] Why are you so scared, Ren?

(Static)

[Ren] I’m not- Ah- 

[Martyn] Statement of Ren Dog. What’s it regarding?

[Ren] What are you- Stop looking at me!

[Martyn] No.

(Static grows)

[Ren] Ah-! A hunt! Regarding an ongoing hunt to reclaim something special I lost.

[Martyn] Recorded May 19th, 2021. Tell me what happened.

[Ren] It started with a simple knock on my door.

[Ren(Statement)] 

This was about a year before you moved in and when I lived on my own. I don't remember doing anything particularly important when I heard the tapping on the front door.

I'd consider myself a very social guy, so I  get a lot of random visits from friends. You’ve seen it, Doc and False show up unannounced quite often. I used to be happy to hear a knock at my door. Opening the door to see a friendly face always brings me joy. Even if it's a complete stranger trying to sell me something, I enjoy the company. But now when I hear the front door, I can feel my stomach twist and turn with dread.

I wasn't expecting anyone at the time, so curiosity poked at my brain as I went to answer the door.

It was Scar GoodTimes. And it’s hard to explain, but his demeanour was something malicious. There was something sinister in how he leaned against the doorframe. He wore his signature grin and I could just tell he wanted to cause trouble.

He cheerfully greeted me but I could taste poison in his words. That smile he wore was wide as he let himself into my apartment. I let him walk past into the living room, I mean, I still had no reason to believe he was intending to cause me harm. Even when he started to look through my things while holding a very meaningless conversation, I didn’t stop him. I felt like I couldn’t. I was frozen. 

The conversation ended soon after and Scar silently looked closely at all of my belongings, inspecting any item he could get his greedy eyes on. I don’t know what he was looking for in my apartment. I’m not even sure he really knew what he wanted. But I was stuck watching him anyway. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t say anything unless he spoke to me first, but he rarely spoke. When he did though, it was always the same question.

“What do you think about this?” He’d ask, holding a random object he’d found.

And I’d answer truthfully. Not because I had to, but because I still wanted to believe that it was all in my head. I wanted to believe that Scar was genuinely interested in my belongings and all the warning signs I’d been spotting were all in my head.

Back then, I wouldn’t have considered Scar and myself to be particularly close. Obviously, it’s worse now, but I still think it’s worth mentioning that we were at least acquainted at the time and there wasn’t any sort of tension between us. I don’t know if you remember it, I barely remember the details myself, but this was around the time of Scar and Grian’s strange environmental argument. I sided with Grian then but I didn’t think it was anything to bring hostility toward myself. So I still had faith in him.

Until he picked up a little mushroom-covered cow figure I’d bought when I first moved into that apartment. I’m a very sentimental guy. I loved that little bovine. I had named it Pamela as well. I’d lost her once before and I couldn’t bear to part with it again.

I’m not sure how I knew he wanted to take something important to me. I could just feel it. So when Scar asked about the figure, I lied and said I didn’t care for it. But apparently, it didn’t matter. His grin widened. A twisted smile that makes me sick just thinking about it.

“Good.” He had said. “Then surely you won’t miss it if I take it then.”

And you’ve met Scar, he’s a charismatic guy. You’ve seen the way he persuades and charms. He could make a deal with anyone, no matter how obvious of a scam it is. But this was different. This wasn’t a deal. It was a threat. The way he looked at me felt like he was daring me to stop him. Challenging me. Telling me in the act of taking one item, that he could take more.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to shove him aside and take sweet Pamela back. But instead, I nodded, fearing what would happen if I fought back.

He thanked me, then left me alone in my apartment.

I’m sure I sound dramatic and childish, complaining over a small lost bovine figure. But it was important to me and he just took it without remorse. With no warning, it was just gone! And I knew he would be back. I could feel it.

Unfortunately, my suspicions were correct. Scar would return randomly. Sometimes it would be months after the last visit, sometimes it would be within a few days. But without fail, he would take something and I would do nothing to stop him. I couldn’t.

Additionally, every time he came back he always wanted more. The value of what he took would always increase, both in sentimentality and actual cost. The worst was when he took a rather expensive prop I was holding onto for the theatre. I had to replace it with money out of my own pocket. Then suddenly, I couldn’t afford to live on my own anymore and I had to find a roommate.

The next thing I know, Grian was dropping his creepy boss on my doorstep. Something about a bad infestation destroying your old house. I don’t quite remember, I didn’t really care. I wasn’t particularly picky about who I ended up living with so I didn’t question it. And you were friendly enough, albeit a bit ominous, but I thought we would get along just fine.

But I could always feel something on the back of my neck once you moved in. This strange sense that I was being watched. Observed. Sometimes you would ask me questions and I would feel an overwhelming need to answer but I didn’t think too much about it. And you were always a little paranoid, but that was fairly normal all things considered. Despite it, I honestly thought we hit it off really well.

The day you moved in, I laughed harder than I think I have in my entire life. You were willing to help me with absolutely anything, whether it was just gardening on the balcony or helping me practice a few scenes for an upcoming play. Not to mention your acting and dramatic flare is fantastic for having never done it before. No one had ever helped me practice like that before and I was attached from day one. 

I could ignore the creepy happenings around our apartment if it meant I got to keep you as a friend.

Then Scar came by when you weren’t there. I had gotten so used to the routine that I wasn’t thinking. I let him take your things. Several objects from your room that I didn’t even recognize. He showed them to me and asked; “You won’t miss these, right?” I shook my head and said he could take them. He smiled and left without another word. That was my first mistake, letting him leave without protest.

I didn’t understand why he took your things until you came home and you realized they were gone.

You started interrogating me. Grilling me for answers I just didn’t have. You tried to keep your cool but I could tell you were paranoid out of your mind. The way you spoke was just shy of anxious and your words were laced with suspicion. You asked what I did with your things and I stupidly told you I gave them to Scar. And that was it. You lost your trust in me and that loss was greater than any physical item Scar could have taken.

I’m grateful that we stayed friends. Even if I had lost a good portion of your trust, you were still a great friend to have around. You continued to help with the garden and my acting and I was so thankful to still have you. But I was living in fear for when Scar would return to make it worse. Counting down the days until he’d arrive to drive you further away from me. Because I knew that's what he wanted. To take away something I cared about.

I couldn’t stand it. I felt like I had to do something but I had no idea what I could do. And that's when I started to fantasize about tracking him down. I dreamt of chasing him home and finding everything I had lost before. More than anything, I just wanted to make it stop. So when I daydreamed about it, I didn't care how it happened. And deep down I had the strange desire to make him just as scared as I was. See the fear in his eyes for once.

I wanted to make him sorry for taking what was important to you.

Then something started to pull me towards your room. I didn’t want to further damage our already crumbling relationship by breaking into your room and snooping through your stuff. But I could just feel the answer was in there somewhere. Something was calling to me and I had to find it. So I made my second mistake and went searching through your things.

I found statements you had labelled with a red marker as “The Hunt.” I don’t know what it is about those statements, but they’re so captivating. I was completely absorbed by each statement I read. And I didn’t really understand why I was reading them. Something was telling me to keep going so I listened, willing to do anything to stop Scar.

You, of course, found out I took and read your statements on The Hunt. You got mad and I’d hurt our friendship further on my own. I was still pinning it on Scar at the time. I didn’t want to accept that I was doing it myself. I couldn’t. Not when I was so close to figuring out how to stop him. I didn’t know what The Hunt was or how it would help, so I kept looking into it. I had committed what I took from you to memory and ran through those statements over and over, using them to help form a plan of my own.

I was never sure if I would get to test my new theories. A little over half a year passed with no sign of Scar. It was the longest I had ever gone without a visit from him. And I was starting to think I'd never see him again. I should have felt relieved, but honestly, I was a little disappointed. A part of me wanted to enjoy the time without him. But the loudest part of my brain, the side I think found itself inhabiting The Hunt, was itching to see him again. Waiting for the chance to chase him down once he decided to show up.

I got that chance last night.

We had so many people over. One of those parties that you had originally only planned for like two people to show up. But then they bring guests as well, then those guests invite guests. And suddenly you have too many people and not enough snacks.

I can’t… I can’t remember who was there. At least not everyone. I know Jimmy and Skizzle were there. I know that much now. But during the party, at some point, I stopped seeing faces. I could only see Scar.

When he walked in… When Jimmy willingly opened the door for him, I froze like I always do. He was all I could focus on. And he waltzed right in like he was just another guest at our party. But he did what he always does and started looking for something to take from me. Looking over the heads of guests with interest.

Scar walked up to me, greeting me as if the two of us were friends and I suddenly felt anger boiling under my skin. I remember growling like a freaking dog as I warned him to back off.

He laughed, and it was an ugly sound.

“No, I’m just here to bargain with you one last time,” he said. As if his visits had been fair trades.

Then he just stood next to me, grinning as he looked through the group of guests. Scar was holding a conversation pretty much with himself as I refused to say anything else to him. The longer I was forced to stand next to him like we were friends, the more I felt myself start to slip. I could feel rage growing stronger and stronger with each agonizing minute that passed.

Then Scar spotted you and I swear his grin grew wider. “What about your partner over there? Would you consider him disposable?” were his exact words.

I snapped.

Something in me exploded and I don’t… I don’t remember what happened after that. It all blurs together in my mind, everything bleeding at the edges. I could hear screaming but  I wasn’t really processing it. All I could see was red as I let out all the anger that had been building up since the day I lost Pamela. I thought I was attacking Scar. I know now that was wrong.

But it still… It still felt good and I think that's the worst part.

I didn’t mean to hurt Skizz and Jimmy. I don’t even know when I finished with Scar and moved to someone else. I swear I had no idea who I was attacking! I was only after Scar. They’ll all be okay, that much I know. Only because I had the last-minute desire to let them go so I could chase them down later. So I could properly hunt them.

Thankfully, I didn’t get the chance. I could feel you… looking at me. That familiar shiver up my spine before you tackled me to the ground, the red fading and my senses slowly returning. If you weren’t there… I think I might have killed someone. 

Then I realized it wasn’t just you watching. Everyone was looking at me, terrified.

That was Scar’s plan and I realized it too late. He wanted me to attack him. To lose control and have all my friends watch in horror.

Grian carried Scar out. Scar was limping and I couldn't help it, I smiled. I was so proud of myself. And I wish I could tell you it was just the heat of the moment. But even now, just the thought of finding him again and finishing what I started is making my blood rush.

Once he was gone, whatever was keeping everyone frozen, let them go. They all ran out screaming. I think Scott was helping Jimmy and I'm pretty sure BigB and Etho got Skizz. They were all too focused on helping our injured friends to scream but I could still see the fear in their eyes. That concern for the two bleeding out and for their own safety.

But you were holding me down so in that moment, I didn’t care. You stayed! Your eyes locked me in place. All I could look at were bright and glowing green eyes that I swear were blue before. The intensity of your stare made my heart pound even louder than before and I could feel my whole body shaking under that all-knowing gaze. And I could see a dozen more disembodied eyes watching me for any inch of movement, blurred at the corner of my vision. It was a strange mix of terror and comfort as I felt trapped yet grounded to reality. I don’t understand what you were doing, but again, I don’t care. You were still there. You’re still here!

I know you’re angry with me but you aren’t scared enough to run away like everyone else. It still hurts knowing our friends are going to hate me, but it hasn’t been long enough to properly process it. Plus, it's hard to focus when I can still feel something itching in my blood. I don’t know what I’m going to do to get them back but I have to start somewhere, and I’m starting with you.

I got a piece of Scar. I ripped off a small scrap of his clothing when I attacked him. I could track him down with it. Find him and your things. I can’t take back what I did to Skizz and Jimmy, but I could at least make up for my earlier mistakes and get your stuff back!

[Martyn] What about your things? Pamela?

[Ren] I don’t care. I just want to make it up to you.

[Martyn] But your statement- You said… You said it was regarding your hunt for something special. What was-

[Ren] Dude, don’t make me say it.

[Martyn] Oh… Oh, I see…

(A pause)

So… your new ties to The Hunt. Do you even know what that is?

[Ren] Not really.

[Martyn] And it sounds out of control, too. I doubt going after Scar at this stage would be a good idea. Not to mention, it sounds like he knew you’d be vulnerable to an entity like The Hunt and planned accordingly.

[Ren] So you think if I go after him now, he'll have something planned?

[Martyn] I don’t know. Probably.

(A pause)

[Ren] Am I a monster?

[Martyn] It's more complicated than that…

[Ren] Are you scared of me?

[Martyn] Not anymore. Are you scared of me?

[Ren] No.

(Static)

Yes.

[Martyn] I'm sorry Ren. I shouldn't have compelled you to give a statement. It's just- This whole time I thought you were hunting me. 

[Ren] I mean, if you want to be technical, I suppose I am.

[Martyn] Still…

[Ren] So what's your thing…?

[Martyn] Hmm?

[Ren] If I'm becoming a part of… The Hunt. And you obviously have something too. So what is it? What's your thing?

[Martyn] It's usually called The Eye. But it has many names, like most of The Entities. The Ceaseless Watcher is another common one.

[Ren] That makes sense.

[Martyn] Does it? Ren, nothing here makes sense. Calling these things The Hunt and The Eye is all abstract. An attempt to put something we can never comprehend into neat boxes.

[Ren] At least you know what's going on.

[Martyn] I'll teach you what I know another time. But only the basics. 

[Ren] Can any of the basics get me out of this?

[Martyn] I’m afraid not.

[Ren] What about the more complicated stuff?

[Martyn] Well…

(Papers being searched through.)

I… I can't guarantee anything. I could probably help you cut ties with The Hunt at least. I'd have to look into it because I don't actually know what will break you off. But if I do that I don't think we can do anything about Scar…

[Ren] Can we flip it?

[Martyn] What?

[Ren] Instead of cutting off The Hunt, could we use it to shut Scar out instead?

[Martyn] Ren-

[Ren] I'm not going to let Scar walk all over me anymore. If staying a monster means he can't hurt my friends anymore, then that's what I want.

You said something in me was out of control. What if I had better control? Could I keep Scar from hurting anyone else? And not just Scar- could I keep other monsters away? I read Pearl's statement. I could do something good with it like her!

[Martyn] You don't know what you're asking me to do.

[Ren] Then you have to tell me.

[Martyn] I don't- Ren, you don't want this.

[Ren] Please.

[Martyn] (Sigh) Usually, a Hunter grows stronger the more they hunt. And it's like that for most other entities. The more fear and terror you cause strengthens your connection. It's like maturing, in simple terms. Of course, this isn't always the case since these things are never that simple. 

Basically, you're asking me to accelerate the process. To strengthen your relationship with The Hunt unnaturally.

[Ren] What about you? What was um… maturing like for you?

[Martyn] Well, first of all, becoming the Archivist wasn't a conscious choice. While you actively hunted down your entity, all I did was sign the wrong contract thinking 'Head Archivist of the Southlands Institute' would be a cool job. Reading and taking statements strengthens my bond and I've been doing it for years. But I refuse to fully submit to The Eye.

[Ren] Why?

[Martyn] Despite everything, The Entities let us choose. You have to make the active choice to fully serve your beast. Dying is a necessary part of this choice.

[Ren] What does that mean?

[Martyn] It means I'm still human.

[Ren] What about Scar?

[Martyn] From what I gathered, it sounds like he was human. Your statement is forcing me to believe he wasn't fully realized. His actions were very tame for someone associated with what I assume is The Desolation. Though, that might have changed last night. After what you did to him.

[Ren] After what I did.

[Martyn] Are you smiling?

[Ren] (laughing) Sorry! Sorry! 

[Martyn] Do you even understand what you've done? Before, Scar was just messing with you. Taking very little in the grand scheme of things. You might have just helped Scar fully mature, meaning he could come back and potentially kill someone.

[Ren] Which is why you need to help me fully mature! So I can protect us!

[Martyn] Have you been paying attention at all? You realize what that means, right?

[Ren] Of course I do!

[Martyn] I have… I have one idea, but I can't guarantee it'll work so it's extremely risky. Are you okay with that?

[Ren] More than okay. Excited.

[Martyn] (Sigh) Can I be honest?

[Ren] Of course.

[Martyn] I'm excited to watch.

[Click]

-

Read the next part: Case #0211905-B

[sleepy0s]

the introduction/ unfinished

Kind off prompt? Not rlly i just realised this matched 

A = get your F*ing dog B*tch!

B = It dont bite!

A = YES IT DO.

~~~

Okie dokie! I have an idea for this!!

So, basically family tree time! Also, they are all Canaries as having four different species of birds between siblings does not genetically make sense..(ignoring how we got 4 different colours tho)

Martyn = oldest = Green canary

Pearl = middle =  blue canary

Jimmy and Grian = twin youngest = yellow(Jimmy) and red canary(Grian)

Now, the reason Grian went to Japan for school was because when their parents were breaking up (Canon) Dad didn't want any of the kids, and mum didn't want to look after 4. So threw Grian to japan 👍

So obviously, Grian was in Japan when he met Taurtis, and Martyn, Pearl and Jimmy didn’t meet Taurtis until Grian added him into Evo. so, you can uh, guess how that went.

(This is really short, I just wanted to write this but then didn't know how to finish it.. :> and knowing me, i probably won’t wanna continue writing this later but i dont wanna let it rot on my doc)

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Grian! Get your sister away from me!” Taurtis screamed, clinging onto Grian trying to hide behind him - which doesn't really work, as Taurtis is taller.

Pearl was currently being held back by Jimmy, who, being younger, was struggling. The young Canaries wings flapped desperately trying to pull her away, “Pearl! Pearl! Stop!” Jimmy Squawked as he gradually lost his grip on his older sister's sweater, “Martyn!! Help me!”

Martyn, in fact, was doing the opposite of help. He was standing in the corner, recording the whole thing on his Comm. Enjoying the way Taurtis crouched behind Grian in fear- “Martyn! Help me hold her!” Martyn just laughed, “Why would I do that?”

Grian's wings twitched nervously as he tried to help his Boyfriend, “Guys- guys relax!” Pearl, did not take well to this.

“Relax!? You want me to relax!?  He has done terrible things to my baby brother!”  Her wings were all fluffed up and she looked like she wanted to punch Taurtis. “Pearl- you make it sound like he hurt me,” he squeaked, wings widening in an attempt to distance Pearl from Taurtis.

“He may as well have hurt you!”

(And that's as far as i got c: ) (If u want to your welcome to take this and finish it / rewrite it cos I’d love to see how this would end Just make sure to tag / credit me)

[notscarsafe]

In honor of @JoeHills doing a Beetlejhost rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody on stream today, here's the Hermitcraft parody of Bohemian Rhapsody I wrote like six months ago and was too chicken to share:

Is this new 3rd life?

Or maybe MCC?

Caught in hiatus

Waiting for 1 dot 19

Open your dash

Look for hermitcraft and see

Vault hunters Vods and

Cub's record speedrun streams

X snapshots, Gem's Empires lore

Iskall POGS, Stress YOLOs

Any way kind of content

the Hermits always matter to me

to me

Mumbo just killed a man

Built a vault without a door

And gave it lava for a floor

Mumbo, Grian had just geared up

But now you've gone and burned it all away

Mumbo oooh

You missed Jev's Easter hunt

If you're not back again before September

We'll carry on, carry on

(...King Ren might take your diamonds...)

It's late but the time has come

Skulk sends shivers down our spines

Goat horns sounding all the time

Goodbye everybody

The warden spawned, and Impulse isn't here with a noise machine

Mumbo ooooh

Pearl booped it on the nose

XB or False might still come to the rescue

Carry on, carry on

(But look out for those fragments!)

I see the shimmer of a bow weilding man

Scar goes woosh

Scar goes swoosh

Someone just hot-guyed Tango!

Charged creepers and lightning

Doc is very frightening

Zombiecleo! (Zombiecleo!)

Zombiecleo! (Zombiecleo!)

Zombiecleo BeetleJoest!

Where is Ethoooooooo?

Keralis is a poor boy, you should give him stuff for me!

Keralis is a poor boy, his mansion's great for parties!

ZEDVANCEMENT DEATH MESSAGE FATALITY!

Easy come, easy go, the lag has got to go

(Ore pillar, no!) The world eater must blow

(Got to go!)

(Ore pillar, no!)The copper farm must slow!(Got to go!)

The netherstars must glow! (Got to go!)

The farmed emeralds must flow (Got to go!)

It's got to gooooooooooooo!

Hyp- no no NO NO NO!

Nvidia, Nvidia! The frame rate has got to grow!

Bdouble0 has a parkour course hidden for me! For me! For meeeee!

Did you think that Decked Out wouldn't ever arrive?

Did you think that Giga Corp wouldn't ever thrive?

Oh baby, Hermits are truly crazy

When Beefs' game comes out, when the trading cards come out you will hear!

(Much guitar and piano solo later)

I sub to Jono and the Recap

And to Wels and TFC

All the hermits matter

To me

Okay yeah I'm a giant dork I just want Quinn and Joe Hills to see this

[rosenight143]

There is this crazy fan who is full on in love with xisuma and hates that xisuma is engaged to someone else and is one month pregnant with said man's baby as well.

The guy is a hacker and has hacked all xisumas cameras he uses to record his videos to full on spy on x, he has even seen x naked and that is how the guy found put xisuma is pregnant and engaged to another man.

Xisuma was in bed snuggling with Keralis when there comms go off.

Voidfan1.0 has joined the sever

Xisuma was really confused on who this person who just joined his sever

Xisumavoid: um did anyone forget to tell me they have a friend joining the sever?

Cubfan: no one has anyone coming over

Xisumavoid: then who just joined

Voidfan1.0: I am here to see xisuma i am a fan of yours~

Xisuma teleports him Keralis and the rest of the hermits to spawn and once xisuma sees the guy x already has a bad feeling about this

"Who in the world did you get in I only have the hermits me and a handful of people who can get in and out of this sever not fan has ever joined" xisuma said clearly not happy and walks over to the fan.

"Oh I hacked in the sever" the fan says with a smile "what that is impossible" grian said also getting the same bad feeling as x.

"No one was speaking to you grian!" The fan snapped and xisuma gets in front of the fans vision of grian "don't speak to my hermits that way" xisuma glares at the fan and the guy steps closer to xisuma.

"I am not here for the others just you xisuma" the fan puts his hands behind his back and xisuma steps back "excuses me, what are you going on about" xisuma said really confused.

"Why to take you away from this afoul place and away from your so called Fiance that doesn't deserve your love" the fan steps really close to xisuma and Keralis runs over and pulls xisuma behind him.

"How do you even know about that the only ones who knows me and Keralis are together are the hermits" xisuma ask clearly super uncomfortable at the moment.

"Oh I hacked your recording cameras that Is also how I found put your pregnant to, but that doesn't matter i am here to save you giving you a better life then just coding or being the sever dad and I can be a way better lover then big ugly eyes here" the fan says as he goes to grab xisuma when he is still behind Keralis.

Keralis kicks the guy away from them keeping xisuma behind him "your not touching my shashamy the only way you can do that is by walking over my stuff in my inventory" Keralis says keeping his guard up as the others pulls there weapons out and aims it out the fan.

"Grr just give me my xisuma then I will leave" the guy says clearly getting up set over all this.

"He isn't yours and he doesn't belong to anyone so leave before you will regret it" doc says ready to throw his trident at him "ya or what" the fan says challenging them

"Or you will regret trying to even tough my little brother bastered" the fan jumps and turns around to see ex staying behind him a sword pointing at his neck.

The fan backs up and runs to the portal and leaves and everyone puts there weapons away. Keralis turns around to make use xisuma was ok which he is but Keralis is had gotten really protective after finding out he was pregnant Even ex was alittle more in his life now to.

He was just happy that fan was gone.

[magicalmanhattanproject]

the way you worded talking about grian implied that he used to be doing something that was not feeding off people online. what was he doing before that? what changed? why doesn't he go out where people can see him? (and, if it isn't already answered by the first question, what's his first choice method?) i might be reading into things that aren't there, but I'm curious.

So. If you're gonna be the one manipulating people, it helps if they can't trace it back to you. You can have some personal flair of course, but you don't wanna look so incredibly obvious that your every single move is gonna be under constant scrutiny.

In Grian's defense, no one he asked gave him a straight answer. But like, he only asked other Web people and Web people are terrible at giving straight answers. Even before he went, he knew he was looking for an excuse to poke his head in where it didn't belong and cause trouble. A lot of his Web friends will roll their eyes at him and tell him he's more cut out for the Ceaseless Watcher but he'll just laugh at them and ask "When have I ever just watched?" They usually concede the point.

So yeah. He'd heard the warnings over and over again. Don't go near the Goatmother's Peak. Do not go near the Goatmother's Peak. Don't even think about the Goatmother's Peak if you know what's good for you. But no one ever bothered to tell him why.

Anyway, he chartered a private plane from Impulse to drop him in by glider. The fall took far longer than it should have, of course. Long enough that Grian wasn't sure he would ever land. Long enough for the open sky to become a terror. But the Goatmother's Peak rose up to meet him some three days later and the transparent glider rendered him almost invisible as he landed on top of the Peak. Maybe he should have come in from underneath, but the rumors said that the good Doctor hardly ever left his lab.

Since then, he's often wondered if it would have been better or worse if those rumors had been wrong. Given what Doc is capable of, it probably would have been objectively much worse. But there is something that Grian particularly loathes in the fact that he can’t be sure that Doc even has any idea this ever happened. He likes to be in control of what’s going on. 

He felt that sense of control slipping away when he realized that he didn’t exactly have an exit plan. It was hardly the first time he’d thrown himself into a dangerous situation with no plan beyond talking himself back out of it, but “hey come pick me up from the Goatmother’s Peak” is– He doesn’t have anyone he could pull that kind of favor from who could actually carry it out. A Web friend would have tried to convince him that this meant it was subconsciously a suicide mission, but honestly he just hadn’t been thinking much beyond his own curiosity. 

All he gets is more questions. The first of which is “Why does it hurt so much?”followed by “Was I screaming?” and “Did anyone hear me scream?” and “Is that my blood on the ground?” and quite a few more related questions all in very quick succession. Okay, he doesn’t get no answers. For example, yes, the blood pooling in the divot between the Goatmother’s horns where he’s been hiding is very much his own and it’s spilling from two massive lacerations on his back from which weird lumpy mounds of flesh are writhing and flailing and he slowly realizes that he can feel them writhe and flail and it hurts. 

He doesn’t bleed out. He’s not sure how. The blood is enough to stain his white sweater through completely. But by the end of it, he has two huge wings hanging limply between his shoulder blades. He tries to stumble to his feet, but the wings weigh him down and he slips in the blood. Bangs his knee hard against the stone. Bangs his head a second later. Passes out.

Wakes up in a hotel a few miles away with a pounding headache and, yes, still a pair of oversized wings that are barely supported by the muscles of his mid back that are absolutely not designed for it. There’s a note waiting for him on the bedside table.

“Don’t come back ^-^ -E”

He doesn’t. 

The wings do though, every time he tries to rip them off. He learns to live with them eventually, though never to fly. But he doesn’t really like the way people stare. He’s not quite as curious about Doc anymore either. If this is what happens when you just get close to him, what could he do on purpose?

[melon-wing]

Flavour Soulmate AU [Gridoc]

Warning: This is a discontinued and mostly unedited story.  If you still wanna read - just for fun - go ahead, but be aware that there most likely won’t be more. I’m just dumping all the WIP I’ll never finish for those interested. [Click here for my non-abandoned stories] ~*~

Grian hated this whole soulmate concept. It felt like somebody else decided over what you got to do with your life. He wanted to choose who he fell in love with, not some higher power or whatever being that was.

So he rebelled. He kept tasting things he hadn’t eaten and decided to ignore it. On bad days he felt petty enough and just looked for the nastiest thing he could put into his mouth. His soulmate probably hated him. But Grian didn’t care. He didn’t want to be forced into this ‘arranged marriage’.

And so he started dating someone that was most certainly not his soulmate. The first time he kissed Taurtis he wondered if their soulmates would know. If they could taste what both of them were just doing. He had pushed the thought away. He liked Taurtis even if they weren’t soulmates and Taurtis liked him. So they went on with their relationship.

That’s until one day a new member joined their server: Pearl. Grian loved her dearly. She was a good friend and an amazing builder. She was sweet and always so supportive. And then one day she popped a sweet candy into her mouth and Taurtis had looked at her like the sun had just risen. Grian would never forget that moment.

They kept on dating for another week. Taurtis kept looking at Pearl, handing her little sweet treats, probably to test out his theory and Grian could see the way those two interacted. After that week he broke up with Taurtis. He wanted to be the one in control. He wouldn’t let those damn soulbonds decide who he was supposed to see and who not. It had been his own decision to break things off.

The day Pearl announced that she had started dating Taurtis, Grian had pretended to be happy and smiled along with them, biting his tongue so hard to keep himself from saying anything he’d regret that blood filled his mouth.

A few seconds passed and suddenly a sweet taste filled his mouth. A taste he recognised: A Healing Potion. It wasn’t as potent as when he drank one himself, but at least the bleeding stopped and only a dull ache remained.

And for a second the thought crossed his mind that maybe having a soulmate wasn’t all to bad. He buried that thought as fast as he could and went on with his business. That was until everything changed.

The day the watchers took him, they gave him the ability to block off his soulbond. He gladly took the opportunity, feeling the bond close and finally being free of the reminder that he hadn’t been able to rebel against fate.

~

Doc awoke one night in cold sweat, not really sure, what had his heart racing like it did. Something felt off, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. Nothing had changed around his base and there was nothing around here that endangered him. Why did he feel so off?

And then he tasted it… Void air, dragon breath and potions. The flavour wasn’t that strong any more. So his soulmate must have been fighting the dragon while he had been asleep.

With a sigh he went over to his food-chest, looking around it in thoughts. It had taken him some time and recording all replies, but by now he had it pretty much down, which food his soulmate liked… or at least didn’t dislike.

He remembered that one time he had eaten a Pumpkin Pie and his soulmate had retaliated by drinking swamp water. His friends made fun off him for having such a high maintenance soulmate, but Doc liked the attitude. He was looking forward to the day they would meet. Living in a world as closed off as Xisuma’s did sometimes have its disadvantages.

He had tried sending messages with the things he ate, but his soulmate either didn’t get those messages or had chosen to ignore them. But Doc believed in the power of a soul bond. Their paths would cross for sure.

Four days later, Doc was on edge.

It had been seven whole days and he hadn’t tasted anything his soulmate had eaten. The first few days he tried to reassure himself. One didn’t need to eat every day. And maybe Doc had missed it while he had been sleeping. But for a week? A person would need to eat.

His soulmate not having to eat… That could only mean one thing.

Doc thought back to the night where his soulmate had fought the dragon and the strange feelings in his gut.

His soulmate was dead.

~~~

Grian looked at the portal, excitement shining in his eyes. He had been stuck in the Watcher’s domain for far too long. Sure, learning about magic and stuff had been interesting, but he yearned to be just building again. He had begged and pleaded with the Watchers to let him have a world of his own to watch over and finally they agreed.

He was to be sent to a world called Hermitcraft to disguise as a regular player and report back to the Watchers what was happening. He was grateful for the opportunity and he would make the best out of it.

“I’ll see you soon”, he said, smiling at his mentor, giving a little wave and then stepping through the portal.

When he stepped out of the portal he was on a little island and there were multiple people around, staring at him in confusion. Grian waved at them with an uncertain smile on his lips, his wings fluttering a little behind him.

“Hello there… I think my portrait malfunctioned. I was supposed to land in a world without people.”, he told them the little lie they had planned ahead

~*~ A/N: This was based on a lot of asks my friend @ gridoc   was getting about tasting the same things your soulmate does. I wrote this a while back. in 2020. This was supposed to be about Grian being sent by the watchers to hermitcraft to observe and guide them and him falling in love with Doc. Both of them don’t realise they’re soulmates due to Grian blocking the bond. Doc even tells him his soulmate is dead. They fall for one another and something happens that reopens that bond making them realise they’re one another’s soulmate.

[redwinterroses]

I have fallen in love with the Creachur AU. It is such a cool concept and you are a fabulous writer. I do wonder how some of the other hermits might react to Grian. Like if Mumbo comes to Midnight Alley to trade with Grian's villagers while Grian is waiting for Scar to return with Pearl.

Mumbo needed quartz—a lot of it—and he really, really didn’t feel like going to the nether. You had to go so far these days to find any quartz veins that hadn’t been entirely mined dry, and the nether was hot, and dark, and dangerous, and… He just didn’t feel like dealing with it.

Not when Grian had a bunch of villagers just sitting there.

And anyway, Grian wouldn’t mind. Grian had to be around to mind and Mumbo hadn’t seen him since they all got home.

Still, he found himself landing quietly outside Midnight Alley and walking the rest of the way in, avoiding the sound of rockets. He wasn’t sneaking. He was just being quiet. Because he wanted to.

The Alley seemed to be listening though.

Which was a weird thing to think, because it was a build not a creature and though he and Grian had both definitely built living builds before, and though Midnight Alley was undeniably magical, he was pretty sure it wasn’t actually alive.

Actually it was pretty quiet, when he really noticed. No odd creepers or random zombies in the shadows—which was saying something, considering how many shadows there were. But the spaces between buildings and the edges of the roofs were perfectly still and safe.

So why did he feel like something was… aware?

Mumbo made his way over to the stairway (well. Hole in the ground) that led down to Grian’s villagers, trying to shake off the feeling—it was probably just Grian’s replay cams rolling or something. You often got the feeling of being watched when you lived in a world where everyone recorded everything. It was only natural.

The screech that burst from above him the minute he stepped onto the stairs, however, was not.

Instinctively throwing his arms over his head, Mumbu ducked to the side. Phantom? In the middle of the day? Maybe one had flown in overnight and gotten stuck—

Goodness!

The creature that leaped down in front of him was not a phantom.

Dozens of void-black eyes glared out at him from a face that glowed with a faint, eerie light. The creature screamed again, and its mouth pulled back in an ear-to-ear snarl of fangs that layered over each other, needle-sharp and snapping at him.

Mumbo shouted—for help, or in surprise, or a manly shriek of terror, it didn’t matter. The sound was instantly swallowed up by the thick and suffocating silence that rolled out from the creature’s form like smoke from a fire. It raised its wings, and the soot-black feathers filled the world, blocking out the light and backing Mumbo against the wall.

The thing loomed over him, teeth chittering—Mumbo couldn’t hear the sound, but he could feel the vibrations buzzing in his ribcage—and its long, bone-white tongue flickered out to taste the air. Scraps of red wool clung to its elongated body, the multiple joints of its legs bending as it crouched over him. It blinked, but it blinked like a lizard, each eye independent of the next, never breaking its fixed gaze.

The air was thin, and tasted of ozone—like the lightning Doc and Ren had summoned; like the taste of flying too high with an elytra. Like the taste of the void.

All Mumbo could see were those eyes. Enormous, glowing, pulling him in deeper and deeper until the entire world was dozens—no, hundreds—of watching eyes. Thousands of beings, terribly bored and now abruptly aware of him.

Watching, watching, watching, watching—

His chest was too tight. He couldn’t—he couldn’t breathe. His heart pounded in his ears, pressure building in his skull. His fingers scrabbling uselessly over deepslate bricks of the wall behind him and he had to get away he had to get away they were—

Watching.

“Help—” he croaked, the word squeezing through his throat. It was swallowed up by the nothing and the silence and the watching—

The world went dark.

[rayveewrites]

“...So what happened to your eye then?”

“That’s beside the point.”

“What is the point?”

“That I fought a god and won. Do keep up.”

“Well, I don’t see how…” Lisa looked up as Doc and Alice entered the room, still bickering good-naturedly.

“What’s going on?”

“Doc won’t tell me what happened to his face,” Alice whined, collapsing dramatically on Lisa’s lap.

“Oh, good luck with that,” Impulse responded, “he hasn’t told us, either.”

“That reminds me, what does the bundle look like?” Pearl asked.

“It’s empty at the moment. Cleared it after, well… y’know. Still got the records. Unless you want to reset?”

“Yeah, reset. How high did Bdubs and Etho drive Doc’s?”

“Into the shulkers. For blocks.”

“Could Etho even afford…”

“Yeah, probably not. He was banking on the fact that we’d never find out, I imagine.”

Doc got a gleam in his eye, “if I can bankrupt Etho…”

“You’re not allowed to bet on yourself, Doc, we established that in Season Two!”

“You guys are betting?” Alice interrupted.

“On Doc’s eye? Yeah.”

“Why?”

Several hermits shrugged.

“Banter can get weird,” Grian said from where he was lying on the back of a couch.”

“And because it’s funny,” Zedaph added.

“And because it’s funny,” the winged man conceded.

“Mostly because it’s funny.”

“So the bundle’s empty right now?”

“Yeah.”

“Just Doc’s or all of them?”

“All of them. Like I said, I’ve got the records if we want to go from there.”

“I almost want to say that’s not as fun.”

“Restart for now, reassess once everyone’s back?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“So standard options?” Doc asked, flipping open a book he’d seemingly produced from nowhere. He held a feather quill, poised to write.

“You can’t run this either,” the creeper hybrid pouted.

“So… ‘did something stupid’, ‘blew himself up’, ‘got stabbed in the face’..what else?” Cleo asked, looking around.

“Burn wounds?”

“Right, burn wounds.”

“Pissed off a second, unrelated god.”

“Born with it, too proud to say otherwise.”

“Just decided to remove his eye to see if he could.”

“I’m pretty sure that last one falls under ‘did something stupid’, Pearl.”

“How come Etho can add weirdly specific options, but not me?”

“You never asked.”

“And also it’s Etho.”

“And also it’s Etho.”

“What currency do you use?” Lisa asked mischievously.

“What, you want in?” Cleo responded, an amused glint in her eye.

“I want to put something in on ‘his own stupid fault’, if that’s an option.”

“Hey!”

“I mean, that one’s kind of a given, but…”

“Cleo I swear to the gods-”

“We typically use diamonds, but our society’s built on more of a barter system, so we could figure something out.”

“Oh hell yeah.”

“You’re supposed to be on my side!”

Lisa just started laughing.

[its-real]

I was going to wait until I had finished doing all the concept sketches for this but uh, I’m lazy so here take it as it is I’ll keep adding surely surely.

-LONG POST-

AU where the hermits fall into the boatem hole with no way to fly out because of some event that happens - maybe an apocalypse, maybe everyone just goes apeshit, who knows - and they all get messed up heads from falling in the void and passing out n fun stuff like that. They ‘land’ - idk how this would work without them dying lol - in a semi futuristic city which for now let’s just call it Boateqm (silent q). The hermit crabs would also fall at different rates therefore appear in the city at different times. So where do they end up?

Hospital gang:

Etho wakes up in a hospital bed with no memories - most of them will wake up with no memories btw - his doctor/nurse (this hospital may be understaffed) Tango asks him a bunch of questions then has to go see another patient. Etho is seen by a certain Bdubs who had just finished visiting his buddy Scar -will get to him next- in the bed next door. Bdubs walks back to notify Scar, a fashion designer, that the guy in the bed across would make a great model, just look at the striking hair! And the red eye! He opens the curtains on the side and Scar gets a look. He asks if Etho would like to be hired. Etho is to say the least very confused and on the verge of a panic attack that never quite seems to happen so he’s in a weird kind of limbo anyway it is now that his doctor/nurse Tango comes back and having overheard the conversation suggests it would be a good idea. The hospital can only take custody of Etho for so long, might as well start earning money now so he doesn’t become homeless. Etho is still very confused. So Tango just agrees to the job for him as his caretaker lol, and besides Scar comes here kinda often so Tango trusts him. Anyway Etho’s true passions he discovers are synthesisers, breeding horses with Bdubs and finding elaborate ways to do tax evasion. A simple man.

Scar is in the hospital because he got SCAR (hehe) from walking into a glass door in his super fancy house, which he owns because he’s a super fucking rich fashion designer of his own label Scara (this is not the first time he’s walked into a glass door). Scar refuses to go to a rich people hospital tho cause 1) he cares about healthcare and wants more funds to go to lower grade hospitals 2) Tango is his mate, and needs a goddam raise. But yeah, very successful, ran for mayor once but someone really didn’t like that which resulted in another hospital visit. Mans in the wars. One hospital visit he got really inspired by the fabric and stuff there so he had a line of clothes that were hospital inspired one time, in turn making hospital inspired garb very trendy for a bit. What a mad lad. Ideas man. Some would call him a genius if he didn’t keep on walking into glass doors n shit. Scar woke up in the back room of a small tailoring shop owned by a nice old couple who took him under their wing. He thanks them in every award speech, and whenever he’s in the area make sure to stop by and give them presents. His side hobby is gardening.

When Tango came to, he was lying on the footpath of a quiet street in the suburbs just out from the main city. Gorgeous day, golden hour, pretty houses, very aesthetic. He also had a leg injury, fuck. So Tango did what anyone would do: hobbled to the nearest house, asked in the nicest way he could under a lot of stress (so he kinda yelled) for a first aid kit, and performed surgery on himself atop the nice families dinner table. The nice family turned out to have called the police and an ambulance, who showed up just as Tango was wrapping up his leg with a bandage and took him away to the police on a stretcher. This debacle got him a leading story on the local newspaper: ‘Man performs surgery on himself after waking up with no memories and a leg injury’. After being questioned by the police, they decide they can’t really charge someone with amnesia and no money with anything like breaking and entering (he did knock and they did let him in) or property damage (blood on the carpet). The paramedics are stunned at his surgery, so they tell the police to take him to the nearest hospital and get him hired there, he could save so many lives. He gets hired by the head doctor after an examination of the surgery. The head doctor doesn’t really care that Tango doesn’t have any records or anything, the hospital is understaffed and Tango seems like an Angel sent down from the heavens to him. Tango is very very good at his job. So good that he gets offered a job at a far better paying hospital which he takes, then soon drops because he prefers the chaos of his old job much better.

Tango found Impulse extremely dehydrated, looking like death, wandering outside his flat one night, so he carried the man inside and saved his life. Now they are flat mates, and Impulse works in a tech store - an upgrade from working at a service station previously.

Bdubs woke up in an inner city park at night, homeless, broke, and in the company of other homeless and broke people. He built his way to success, got luckily hired by some rich asshole to mow their lawns plural - the rich asshole didn’t ask much questions, he just saw a poor man criticising the way a park had been landscaped to an old guy in a caravan and though it was good enough, seeing as the last one quit - and Bdubs didn’t mind too much, because the rich assholes property was really gorgeous. Once Bdubs was able to say he had work experience and wasn’t homeless he started babysitting the kids in the neighbourhood, pretty good money. Plus the kids love him, and everyone he meets loves him, he's just a nice guy. He met Scar because he had to purchase a suit for a kids birthday party, so he went to the cute little tailors shop he always walked past on the way to his favourite cute little gardening supplies shop. By now Bdubs had been promoted to part time gardener - the job is shared - and started working on and off at a building firm. They become besties, turns out Scar is also really into gardening etc etc. Eventually Bdubs becomes an architect, mainly designing for city contractors n such but occasionally designer homes, like the one he did for Scar.

Mumbo and Grian wake up in the hospital around the same time that Etho is still there, however Etho has been awake longer, and should really find a place to stay soon now that he’s got a steady job. Since - ok plot point here - the two are in the exact situation that Etho found himself in, he starts to feel like something weird is going on. Mumbo and Grian take a lot longer to recover than Etho did, and the two become hospital bed neighbor buddies. When they finally recover Scar offers them a temporary place to stay at his house while they find work. Tango gets Impulse to put in a good word for Mumbo at his work.

Nomads:

TFC is an old man who lives in a caravan off the money he made being a very successful miner, he now collects pretty shiny rocks and gems and stuff to give to kids. He’s like an all year round caravan Santa and wise old mystical figure. Dope.

Joe is a humble man who likes to wander. He’s never had a home, but if he needs anything he’ll go to TFC’s caravan or a homeless shelter or something. But he isn’t sad or anything, he really likes the freedom of being a simple wanderer.

Others:

Keralis is a business partner of Bdubs. Kerlalis is mega stonks. He was one of the first to land, had a big diamond in his pocket, bought shares in a company that blew up soon after and now he is really fucking rich.

Doc and Ren are the only ones who remember anything, and they arrive at the same time. Doc manages to keep his cool, but Ren loses his shit and gets thrown in a mental institution. Doc spends some time trying to get Ren out, and after a final success and laying low for a bit the two seek to bring all the hermits together.

Pearl ends up working in Bdubs building company.

Beef works in a music shop -sells records and instruments- and he starts up a record label out back after his boss retires and passes the shop onto him.

And yeah I don’t really know the other Hermits that well was hoping some of ya’ll could help me find places for them in this city :) don’t really know how to format this either so maybe some input would be nice, just wanted to get the idea out hehehe

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

Hermitopia AU Conclusion

The last ask has been answered, the masterposts are complete, and (although art, writing, and Discord discussion are still accepted and encouraged) it is finally time to officially wrap up the Hermitopia AU! Because this was such a massive event - and no small thing to moderate - there will be a pause in blog activity for a day or so before the inbox will open for regular headcanons again. I apologize in advance for the wait!

In the mean time, I would just like to say: I am so, so thankful to everyone who participated in the AU. Your ideas and your creativity have made this blog a better place, whether you sent in one headcanon or dozens, and I am constantly in awe of the energy and enthusiasm of this community. Thank you, all of you, for making this universe we’ve created as vast and as interesting as it turned out to be.

Below are a collection of my own ideas, for those of you who like a satisfying (but still not entirely closed-ended) ending. These events take place as many days, months, or years into the future as you need them to make your own ideas work, and none of them are set in stone. You can take all of them, some of them, or none of them as truth if you want to...but either way, it has been an honour to build on a project like this one alongside you all.

And with that...the Hermitopia AU concludes! Finished, or barely begun, like so many good projects are. Have a great day everyone, and happy headcanoning!

- Mod Shade

"People of Hermitopia."

The man on the screen shifts, running a nervous hand across his bald head and squaring his shoulders. The broadcast quality is unstable, but it's more than enough for every citizen in the city to recognize who's speaking.

"This is your Concorp Branch Director, Cub. As I'm sure you are aware, I am the head of Project VEX in this city. You all know the VEX initiative as groundbreaking, life-saving, a shining success and a step towards a new era for humanity...and some of you may even see me as a hero for creating it.”

He closes his eyes, a brief look of pained remorse crossing his face. For a moment, he looks utterly defeated, almost small in the face of his impromptu audience of thousands...but finally, he fixes the camera with a steady gaze once more and begins the great unravelling.

“Maybe it was all those things, in the beginning. Maybe *I* was, once. But today, after far too long, I have some confessions to make...."

~

- For years, Cub had been desperately scrambling to hold the tatters of his life’s work together. Project VEX had started so well, and he had poured so much of himself into it, that when the failed experiments and rebellions became more and more frequent he was unable to accept a change of course. He covered up the project’s failings to maintain funding and public image, but mostly to maintain his own image to himself - that he was still the hero he’d set out to be and create at the project’s start. However, his denial was wearing on him heavily, and eventually he had a breakdown and decided to go public rather than keep drowning the city in lies.

- This breakdown was prompted by xB, who after his own moral breakthrough, confronted Cub and urged him to stop withholding knowledge and truth. xB also informed Cub of his own unknown truth - that the unintended power of his presence was the thing that was keeping the experiments successful when Cub was around. This was the final straw in breaking through Cub’s denial

- Along with Cub’s broadcasted speech, files were released to the media containing proof against most if not all of Concorp’s falsehoods. Many names were cleared of crimes that had been pinned on them, including Beef, Impulse, Doc, Cleo, and the majority of the other Unrestrained and Unaffiliated former VEX trainees that the company had tried to cast away

- Understandably, it took a very long time for the chaos to die down and all that information to be processed by society and the justice system. It may be years before the community can see some of their heroes in the proper light again, but at least they are now free to begin rebuilding their reputation without being labeled as villains and traitors.

- Those who actually did commit villainous acts are given a fair trial, with consideration for their motives and the new Concorp information as extra evidence

- The VEX program is withdrawn by Cub’s superiors and put under a strict review. It is reborn after a massive restructuring, with a new director, new limitations on what experiments can and cannot be attempted, and a greatly extended screening and training program to reduce the chances of graduates becoming villains. The new project will produce far fewer heroes with much subtler powers at first...but if that is the cost for the safety and stability of the city, then most people would agree that it is a small price to pay.

- Cub is not permitted to work on the new Project VEX in a management role, ever again. It’s a harsh blow for him, to have to watch his dream from the sidelines...but he knows he gave up the right to guide it when he abused the control that it gave him. At least his superiors allowed him something to do while he awaits trial: he is present (although guarded) at every new VEX trainee’s first experiment, lending his power to increase their chances of success.

- Mayor Scar resigned willingly. Nobody had enough evidence to accuse him of anything, and he didn’t plan on giving them a reason to look by trying to stay in office. Instead he chose to make his exit from both Concorp and government matters complete, at last. Or so he thinks. Who knows? Maybe he’ll learn what most of the people he’s helped to manipulate have already found out: that connections and old grudges don’t easily lose their grip.

- Scar is replaced by TFC, voted in by almost unanimous community support and funded by donations from all the people he’s saved over the years

- The greater Convex company offers a choice to the survivors of the old program: Come to work under their new, more honorable system, or take a generously large settlement and be free to build new lives

- Team ZIT declines the job offer, pooling their payment and using it to buy a shiny new base together for their independent hero venture. There are still a handful of real villains to fight, after all, and there are bound to be more once people start successfully copying Concorp technology. Now that Impulse is back at their side, they wouldn’t give up their roles saving the community for anything - but they’re done with being used by some guy behind a desk. From now on, justice and bravery will be their only guides!

- ...justice, bravery, and TFC, that is. He isn’t their boss by any means, but the more experienced hero does drop by often between his mayoral duties to make sure the youngsters stay out of trouble and in one piece.

- The nHo, according to all official records, took their settlements and split up, leaving Hermitopia far behind. However, Team ZIT suspects that the vigilante life hasn’t left them so easily. They’d be the last ones to report the odd sighting of a whipping vine or a distant masked figure, though - unregulated as they are, the nHo’s shady methods for a good cause prove useful from time to time. (And their base has really good tea. Okay, maybe it’s a little bit more than “the occasional sighting”...)

- Ren settles back into his meadow cabin, but after that massive release of info and a long, LONG period of processing, he now has Iskall, Stress, and Cleo as regular visitors. Every morning he wakes up and forgets for a moment that it’s real, that they’re really alive and with him again...but they are, and he is happier than he ever thought he would be again.

- Jevin and Mumbo visit the cabin occasionally. It took a while for Mumbo to get his memory back, but he now remembers all of his friendship with Iskall and Grian, and they come together for fun and shenanigans regularly with the rest of the cabin crew.

- Grian still spends his time looking for his clones, but honestly, he doesn’t mind. The adventure always did hold more meaning than the conclusion for him, and now, he has friends to help out!

- False disappears into thin air to wait out the fallout of Concorp’s information release. She snags herself a quiet job and a small apartment on the outskirts of town, fully intending to return to her mercenary work just as soon as the dust has settled...next week, maybe. Or the week after that. Or maybe, once the garden has been fully planted. She’s really enjoying having time for stuff like that now...but she’ll get back to work, really, she will! Soon.

- Joe and Cleo tearfully reunite through xB, and Joe becomes another frequent visitor to the cabin. Cleo also visits Joe’s base in the time exclusion zone, but she really prefers the cabin. Time skips are disorienting, and they make her want to sneeze.

- Keralis and Void come to an agreement. Xisuma isn’t entirely clear on what that agreement is - something to do with an allowance of cookies from Biffa’s bakery in exchange for not killing anyone - but he’s more than happy to be less sore and tired all the time.

Hermitopia is making progress. Real progress, this time - not just the breaking of humanity’s limitations, but breaking them with true heroic care, with the good of everyone in mind. There are some hurts that will never fully heal, mistakes that can be learned from but not undone, and yet...now there is a path, a way forward. It won’t be easy, but a kind and gentle future waits for them, welcome and well deserved. They will figure it out, together.

And together, they will step forward, into the new world that each of them has helped to create.

[votederpycausemufins]

I said I had another chapter ready. so It's time to post that.

tagging @helleborusangel because they like my writing and @hermitcraftheadcanons since they and their community made the au.

now... with that out of the way, let's recap evo... wait shoot i mean hermitcraft.

“Pixlriffs! Turn on the tv!” Came a voice that followed a door being slammed open.

Pixlriffs turned around in confusion to see Zloy having barged in, panting with his goggles askew. “Zloy? What’s going on?”

“Just turn on the recap channel! Hurry!”

Even more confused, Pixl slowly turned to his tv and turned it on, switching to the channel that showed their recap show. “I thought you didn’t like watching our own shows. It’s not even a regular recap, it’s just going to be a clip show from the livestream. Why are you so-” But he cut himself off. Showing on screen was a countdown to the season eight day one recap. “What? But it hasn’t started. We haven’t recorded anything.”

“I know! I was with a friend and they turned it on and said they didn’t think it had started yet. When I saw the countdown, I ran all the way over here.”

“Do you think they just had a scheduling mistake? We might need to call the broadcasters and have them fix things up.” Pixl suggested, and Zloy shrugged.

“Let’s just make sure that’s the case and see which episode they’re actually showing. For all we know they mixed things up and this is just the season seven, day one.”

“I hope that’s the case.”

The two recapers watched the timer go down. Elsewhere, people were also turned into the episode. Some were pleasantly surprised by the supposed new episode. Others were confused thinking the schedule was wrong. Those who knew the hermits were confused, not having heard the new season was starting yet.

Then finally, the timer reached zero, and a familiar jingle started. And then a voice that was definitely not Pixlriffs spoke the phrase “This week, on Hermitcraft.”

“Wait, what am I doing in the nether? I just joined the world.”

Zloy and Pixl looked at each other at something they had never heard Keralis say. This was a new episode, but one they hadn’t made.

“A new adventure starts in season eight, new places and mobs to explore and see. And also Grumbot and Jrumbot are Hermits now. Welcome to the Hermitcraft recap! The show where no one is where they should be. My name is Toon Noah.”

“I’m Mysterious Goofball, and our writer is Pin Valentine. Today, we’re looking at everyone’s first day on the new season of Hermitcraft.”

The first person, Noah, spoke up again. “In this season, the hermits managed to update all the way to the second half of the caves and cliffs update even though that isn’t possible.” He explained what was going on in this season. “Everyone is scattered across the map and even in other dimensions. Monsters are tough, regen is off, and using chat is out of the question, so surviving is going to be tough.”

“At the very least, they can still respawn, so certain people have chances to escape. Escape what that is? Well, let’s look at what the Hermits have been up to.” Goofball said, sounding so nonchalant about what they were about to talk about.

“Starting with Xisuma, who’s started out in the deep dark. The admin’s helmet has been disabled other than necessary functions. His visor also gives him a little bit of light, so he’s not completely blind. Plus the fact that sculks are bioluminescent. But the warden is too, which has been able to find him a number of times.”

“Also in the caves in Jevin,-” Goofball spoke up again. “-who’s found himself in some lush caves. He’s got glowberries for light and food and the axolotls are pretty friendly. Plus, with enough searching, he was able to find a bit of wood for simple tools.”

“Speaking of wood. Some of the hermits have found themselves in the jungle.” Noah quickly commented before some audio from one of the hermits played along with its clip.

“Helloooo? Anyone around? Impulse? Tango? Hey is that Grian? Nope, just a parrot. Ugh, and here I am without any seeds.”

Goofball spoke up again when the audio finished. “Both Zedaph and Tango are in the same jungle, but the size of the biome as well as the amount of foliage means they haven’t found each other yet. Tango at the very least has started mining, and Zedaph managed to find a jungle temple and has already started on using the redstone from there for a melon farm.”

“How do you even make a farm out of that?”

“It’s Zedaph, what do you expect?”

“Well, as for the last of team ZIT, Impulse had found himself in the middle of a sea temple.” Noah spoke, as the video showed Impulse dealing with being underwater in such a place. “Between drowning and guardians, he hasn’t gotten that far away from his spawn.”

“In other aquatic news-” Goofball said, another clip from the hermits playing.

“If I never see coral again, it’ll be too- wait, is that False? False!”

“-Stress and False are also nearby to each other, both spawning in coral reefs. False was the first to escape, needing to just swim out of her spawn.”

“On the other hand, Stress was completely encased in coral and had to slowly chip herself out of the colorful prison. But by the evening, Stress was able to get to the surface and join False and an island, chopping down trees. They even started a wheat farm. But here’s hoping they don’t have to deal with drowned.”

“While she isn’t a drowned,” Goofball continued from Noah’s comment. “Zombie Cleo started out in a village. Normally, that would be pretty good, but being a zombie…”

“Leave me alone! I’m not going ta kill any villagers! I’m a zombie but I’m not that kind of zombie!”

“She’s been having an issue with the resident iron golem. With a bit of luck, she managed to hole herself up in a house which the golem isn’t going to destroy, but the villagers aren’t the happiest about it.”

Then Noah took over speaking. “From villagers to illagers, Mumbo Jumbo found himself alone in a woodland mansion, making himself the furthest hermit in the overworld.”

“Come on. Almost. Almost!” The video showed Mumbo running before he was killed by a vindicator. “Oh come on!”

After that, Noah continued. “He’s tried and failed many times to try and get out of the mansion, but eventually just started breaking the walls for tools.”

“The illagers aren’t really happy about it, but not like he’ll be going far, so I don’t think he’ll easily lose those tools.”

“Well at least he’s got supplies.” The video transitioned to a mountain top with three figures standing at the peak. “Grian, as well as new hermits Grum and Jrum are currently stuck on the top of a mountain, surrounded by powder snow. It’s pretty lucky that the three of them stuck together.”

“I’m not so sure of that.” Goofball spoke up, sounding a bit frustrated or annoyed. “While Grian tried to fly down for supplies to little success, other than fall damage, he hasn’t managed to die, using some sort of magic.”

“But it looks like the fall damage came in handy for Doc, who’s further down the mountain. He’s having a bit of trouble surrounded by goats, plenty of them being the screaming variety.”

Goofball spoke again, no longer sounding as annoyed. “Yeah, but while hanging out with them, he heard a different kind of scream and did something pretty smart.”

“Wait, what was- is someone close by? It sounded like someone just- wait! The death messages!” He pulled out his communicator and read the messages. “Grian died to fall damage! Grian’s up there!”

“I guess he is the scientist of the group.” Noah spoke, the grin he had on his face audible in his voice. “It makes sense he would be the one to figure things out. But even then, he still can’t easily get down the mountain himself with all the goats messing him up. My guess is he’s really regretting being the goat father last season.”

“Doc isn’t the only one getting familiar with the new wildlife though. Hypno has found himself in a large flower forest that has plenty of mooblooms. He hasn’t been able to kill any of them yet, and there’s only flowers and no grass for him to get seeds from, so while the place seems like it should be easy to survive in, it’s really the opposite.”

“The best idea he’s had so far is following some bees to find their nest and hopefully a tree attached to it. If only he knew he was actually really close to spawn, being the closest to it.”

Goofball took control of the conversation again “Well, that’s not entirely true as three hermits managed to appear at spawn, those three being Joe Hills, VintageBeef, and Etho.” And the three hermits were shown in what looked much more normal than everything else that had been shown so far. “The three of them pretty quickly figured out something was wrong and started to make spawn a safe place, also gathering supplies so they can eventually find the other hermits.”

“Except Etho got a bit ahead of himself.” Noah cut in. “He had a bad run in with some mobs and ended up dying, finding out his respawn is a bit different than others. But at the very least, he managed to find Ren.”

“Ren spawned on a cliff of a ravine. There’s no water at the bottom, and all the blocks in reach are stone, so it’s not the easiest to escape from. Still, with little else to do, Ren started slowly chipping away at the stone to escape the ravine, only to fall when Etho surprised him by suddenly respawning there.”

“Okay, I got through two more pieces of stone. At this rate, I can probably get to dirt before the sun is setting so- Etho- ooooooh!”

“At the very least Ren is respawning just fine,” Noah explained “So the two of them were able to help Ren escape the ravine, so he’s the third person to escape his spawn area.”

“Well, that’s not entirely true.” Goofball started to correct. “Before Etho helped Ren and even before Stress escaped her coral prison, Cub actually escaped the mesa mineshaft he spawned in. It was a little tricky with the cave spiders spawning, but he lucked out with the loot of a chest and was able to get a crafting table and pickaxe out of it.” Cub had found some iron, torches, a few seeds, some bread, and then used the wood of the mineshaft to get him on his feet in terms of survival. “With a few respawns, he took out the spiders and their spawner. He’s able to move around freely, but not wanting to respawn again, his hearts are a bit low, so he’s staying near the mineshaft for shelter.”

“Then, sort of nearby the mesa of course, is the desert, where the last two overworld hermits are.” Noah said, and there was the slightest ruffle of papers, like he was checking a script. “Both XB and Iskall are stuck in the same large desert, trying to find some source of food, water and wood. So far, the best they’ve found are the sticks from dead bushes. Out of the two, XB is doing a bit better since he’s found a cave for some sort of shelter, but Iskall’s much worse off,the sand messing with his one eye.”

“Between the heat, the sand, and my eye, I can’t even tell what’s real anymore. That cactus could be a tree or a town or- nope! It’s actually a creeper!”

And then Noah continued with a transition. “Getting even hotter now, let’s look at the nether. There’s only two hermits there right now, with different struggles to deal with.”

“Keralis is the first and lucked out a bit, landing himself in a warped forest right near a basalt delta, meaning he’s got up to stone tools. Plus, since nether gold ore can be mined with wood tools or better, he’s also got some gold boots to help with any piglins.”

“On the other hand, Welsknight is in a much worse situation. He spawned in a crimson forest and is having plenty of trouble with the hoglins.” And that was emphasized by a clip of Wels being killed by one of the mobs. “He hasn’t gotten too much wood before dying, but at the very least, he secured his spawn just enough he has some room to breathe. And hey, if he makes it out of there, he’s got a fortress nearby. But now to end this off, let’s head to the end.”

“TinfoilChef, or TFC is on the main end island, spawning on an obsidian platform just a few blocks from the edge of the island.” Goofball spoke. “It’s close enough for him to jump, but he still takes fall damage and has to deal with the ender dragon after that.”

“Not to mention the endermen too, which Scar is also having trouble with. He’s stuck on a smallish end island out in the further reaches of the end. There’s an end city nearby, but he doesn’t really have the means to get there. At the very least he’s got food from the chorus plants, but that won’t help too terribly much.”

“And lastly, there’s BdoubleO, who we’ve- who’s been lucky to not die so far being in a special situation.” Though they hadn’t been saying much, both Pixlriffs and Zloy noticed the slight slip up Goofball gave. “He’s currently looping in the end void, teleporting up to the top when he finally gets too low. There’s nothing in sight for him to know that though, so he thinks he’s just falling deeper and deeper. But hopefully he’ll figure it out eventually.”

“Well, that’s everyone, so that pretty much does it for this episode of Ev- Hermitcraft Recap. I was Toon Noah-”

“And I was Mysterious Goofball and our writer was Pin Valentine. If you’d like to see original content made by us, you can find us if you already know where to look.”

“Don’t forget to give this show a good rating and tune in next week for the next episode of Hermitcraft Recap. Thank you all so much for watching and good-Bye~!”

Finally, the screen turned black, signalling the end of the episode. The whole time, Pixl and Zloy had just sat there in shock, watching the episode and not saying anything. The thought of their show being taken over by some new people was scary enough, but the situations the Hermits were now in was so much worse.

Zloy was the first to move, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He had felt it going off during the episode, but had been too stunned to do anything. Apparently, he had missed multiple calls and texts about what had happened with the episode, who had been put in charge, what was with the hermits, and more related to the whole situation.

“We need to see someone about this.” Pixlriffs said, in a similar situation with looking at his phone. “Make sure people know we have no connection to this and hopefully also see if the studio knows who recorded this. I would also like to say that this is all fake, but…”

“Yeah, that footage looked way too real. I think the Hermits are actually in a lot of trouble right now.”

“Then let’s do something about it.”

[salcreus]

So where are the hermits living with after their first episodes?

If you saw me post this before no you didn't Let me know if I'm missing anything, I'm sweppy <3

Stress, Gem, Jevin and False are all together in a swamp-birch biome! The girls are all part of a trifecta base, with plans for making a central zone in the middle of their bases, while Jevin is but a kind neighbour that is always welcome to give them stuff :) <3

Scar, Impulse, Pearl, Grian and Mumbo are currently in a planes biome, with a dark oak forest/village nearby. Shenanigans are afoot though!

Keralis, Bdubs and Tango seem to dig the closeness as well, with (at least) Keralis and Bdubs planning to do some sort of build together, while Tango is more of a candle- Yet still very welcome!!

Cleo! Beloved and adored by many, who's the season is going to be spent torturing Joe in their shared base! But for now she settles on a flower forest, since Joe is busy with his almighty egg or- something like that...? Doc and Ren's episodes aren't quite out yet, but they are also sticking together! And apparently stealing every single goat that they see. Good on them, good on them. And of course, the outliers in this base situation- Xisuma, Wels, and Zed! both to each corner, though both appreciating the calmness that is the low, low mountains that are more hills than mountains yet they are on the mountain category of Minecraft. Although alone, they will not be missed. Specially Zed, and his seeming taste for wacky inventions not dying after his spectacular S7 base. A final note on Vintage Beef and TFC, who were both not present in the recordings due to some technical issues, but they are indeed going to be playing this season! Confirmed by none other than Joe. Once again sorry if I missed or if I have some stuff incorrect, feel free to shout at me in the notes heart heart. EDIT: I DID FORGET STUFF!! How could I forget the improbable yet adorable duo of Etho and Iskall, bunking in on a funky looking savannah and spending half their time terrorizing the local population..? While Cub, Hypno and XB, the other 3 that I, unfortunately, forgot as well, ironically seem to all be in the same type of situation, living on a simple planes biome by the shore (Well, XB's is more of an oak forest by the shore- but for the sake of funny formatting you go to this group, boy!) They are all pretty isolated as well, but not so much as Wels and Xisuma it seems!

[blocksandbloops]

May I interest you in some fem!hermit!Tommy fluff for you in this trying time?

This is set in an alternative version of @redorich 's hermit!Tommy AU. Diverging from the Dream SMP's raid on Hermitcraft. All you need to know is that family trees are convoluted, Tommy's name is Clementine. She's trans, we love her, she has wings and has adopted Grian as her weird almost twin brother.

After the whole "Dreamon" and "invasion" mess the Dream SMP folk didn't expect to hear much from the hermits besides the ones who attended MCC. They thought that the two servers would just continue to exist, independent of one another. Just drifting through the void mere inches apart but never really touching.

Oh how wrong they were.

The hermits were friendly but they had absolutely underestimated just how friendly.

Apparently, the moment Clementine so much as breathed a word about how much she missed her biological family, Scar -ever the kind and helpful mayor that he was- decided to throw a beach party!

Since Clemmy's extended family was pretty large and they didn't want anyone to feel left out, it was an open invitation to everyone on the Dream SMP as long as they behaved.

That point was driven home when a few people, like Antfrost and his unhealed, dog bitten asscheek, mentioned how upsetting the Hermits was definitely not a good idea.

(Deep down they knew that the reason they were really doing this was because the hermits were worried about them. The Dream SMP was just a bunch of traumatized children according to them. They weren't wrong in that assumption but no one wanted to admit that.)

So, when the day of the beach party finally dawned, they all put on their least threatening outfits and packed up their supplies, (where Tubbo got the surf board nobody wanted to question) and entered the portal just like they had done a few months prior.

A few things were different though, the sun was bright and beaming in the sky, soft puffy white clouds rolled by, only promising gentle shade instead of the dreary air of yesteryear.

The shopping district had been rebuilt from it's smoky ruins and they finally all had time to appreciate the lovingly built shops and roads. It looked so beautiful and vibrant, you could practically feel the fact that summer was in full swing.

The smell of nectar and sea salt drifted through the air, sweetening even the sourest of moods. This is what peace was to the hermits. This was their everyday. They were so lucky and they didn't even realize it.

Some people were taking notes of all the different building styles with bright eyes, hoping to replicate some of it when they got home, others were suddenly hit with a feeling of bitter inadequacy of it compared to their homes. Is this what a world without war could look like?

But, no matter the gloomy musings of the few, they were all here to let go for a day! To celebrate the good times and to kick back for seemingly the first time in forever.

Their welcome party this time simply consisted of one person.

It was a strange sight, seeing the Hermits' admin Xisuma without a mask on, wearing a god awful hawaiian shirt that Keralis had thrown at him with glee the moment he mentioned that he didn't have something to wear, and again, were those, gods forbid crocks?

"'Ello everyone! Wow this is quite the turn up. Scar wished he could be here to greet you all personally, but he's still too busy helping the others preparing for the barbecue, so you're stuck with me for the time being.

Now, if you'll kindly follow me, we set everything up pretty close to here, so we'll be there in a minute."

The walk over to the beach was short, but just as scenic as the rest of the server.

Warm, golden sand, gently lapping waves and lush plant life. The sound of the hermits' laughter and soft music filled the air as the smell of the previously mentioned barbecue proved a welcome distraction from whatever the hell was happening on the far right side of the beach (the ZIT trio built a karaoke machine. It was Zedaph's idea. It was also a horrible idea but they didn't seem to realize that yet.)

As they began to debate a plan of attack, no wait. ... fun? enjoyment? eh whatever.

A tall man jogged up to the group. Some people recognized him as Mumbo Jumbo, that one british guy with the mustache. Others, however, as that semi-scary redstone wizard who managed to create extremely powerful potion launchers during the invasion.

He was dressed just as down to earth as the others, holding a tall glass of lemonade in his hand and wearing a (quite goofy) sunhat he borrowed from Ren.

He was explaining something to X in hushed tones (something or other about a minor fire at the barbecue table?) When he looked past the gathering of guests and out towards the path that they had come from, and screeched.

"GRIAN PLEASE I'M HOLDING LEMONADE DON'T!" X reached over and grabbed the glass from his hands just in time for a cackling, feathered ball of something to crash into Mumbo, knocking him into the water with an audible "oof".

There was wild thrashing as the two tried to orient themselves, Grian somehow climbing onto Mumbo's back.

"CLEMMY! COME HELP ME DROWN MUMBO!" Grian waved towards a cluster of trees to their left, underneath which a small gathering of hermits was enjoying a bit of a reprieve from the sun.

"NOT YOU TOO!" came the mustachioed man's scream of distress.

Clementine, the whole terrifying six feet and three inches of a woman that she was, took off running to the water at full tilt towards the struggling brits.

Mumbo, having already formed a strategy in his head, did a perfect T-pose and feel backwards into the water, bringing down a screaming Grian with him. Clementine did a graceful swan dive into the water (how she executed that shall be left for viewer interpretation) and happily joined the fray, even the distressed calls of Stress behind her because "Gods damn it Clemmy! I spent an hour on your hair! And now it's ruined!" couldn't persuade her to give up on her mission to cause as much friendly chaos as possible.

She climbed out of the water a few minutes later, her hair a mess and a bright smile on her face.

"Techie! Wilby! Tubbo! Thank you guys so much for coming! I'm really glad that you could make it." She hugged them each close, enjoying the comfort of having them all together again.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." Techno relaxed his posture, trying not to fidget too much. He was getting better with crowds but it was still a lot.

"You may think he's joking but he literally dragged Quackity all the way to the portal because he was too busy doing his eyeliner and would've made us late." Wilbur snickered when she leaned in to hug him, earnings him one of her patented ear-splitting laughs.

"I got a recording of it!" Tubbo proudly announced, pulling out his video camera

while still holding an arm around her.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT! LET ME HAVE SOME DIGNITY MAN!" The aforementioned Mr. Fattest Ass in the cabinet screamed indignantly as soon as he got within hearing range.

"Quackity you never had any dignity. It's too late for that." Techno flicked the duck shapeshifter on the head, earning him even more annoyed rambling which he just chose to ignore.

"Well, I'm glad that that's settled, now, I have some people I'd like for you to meet."

She directed them towards the group sitting in the shade, which consisted of False, (a now soaking wet) Grian, Stess, Mumbo (who also looked like a disgruntled cat that was just given a bath), Iskall and Ren.

Meanwhile Doc and Cleo had a little cornered off area they'd nicknamed the "cool kids club" (it was because around this time the sun got strong enough to actually burn her and Doc just felt slightly iffy about the water, since he was, ya know, half robot.)

Clemmy threw herself down on a blanket in front of a grumbling Stress who set about actually making her hair look presentable.

Niki sat down next to them and began discussing the merits of different styles to put Clemmy's hair into.

Ranboo sheepishly sat down next to Cleo's lawn chair folding all of his gangly limbs under himself.

Wilbur happily plopped himself down next to Ren on a blanket and began to hum along to the other's guitar.

Techno lay dow his cape, deciding that a nap was the best course of action in that moment.

Fundy hesitated for a second before going down to the shore to relax and just put his feet in the water for now.

Philza, the awkward dad that he was, chose to sit down close enough to the girls that he'd be able to hear what they were talking about without intruding.

Tubbo placed his stuff down by Clemmy's feet and ran out to the shore with his surf board in hand.

Going through so many conflicts in such a short amount of time really tires a person out, especially ones as young as the ones from the SMP so getting this afternoon of rest truly helped ease some of the stress given to them by recent events.

(Beach episode pog?)

Of course, this little get together wasn't without it's faults. About two hours in Doc accidentally trampled False's sand castle, who in retaliation teamed up with Cleo to dump water on him while he was relaxing.

This little conflict evolved into a battle to see who could build the biggest and grandest sand castle between "Team Himbo" and "Team Women" (one of those was coined by Clemmy). Puffy and Stress set up a good system of transporting sand from point A to point B, allowing them to move faster. False got placed on detailing duty while Niki brought refreshments for the rest of the team. Alyssa was mostly helping out wherever she could, as Cleo worked her armour stand magic to make their castle feel even more alive.

Clemmy just shouted encouragements and bullied the opposing team.

(The member list of Team Himbo has been redacted to avoid any drama about who might qualify as a himbo in the given circumstances)

Somehow the guys managed to convince Techno to join them, which immediately stacked odds in their favor to which Eret and Iskall, being the non-binary legends they are, decided to side with Team Women, now renamed to "Team Prettier Than You".

Their building contest laated for another hour before X decided to try to stop them (it wasn't because of the time. It was because TFC and Grian started shouting things about structural integrity and adding stone parts to the walls and the contestants actually listened when he decided that it was getting out of hand.)

Then it was time to actually enjoy the barbecue. Techno surprised everyone with how delicious his baked potatoes ended up. Beef also got to flex his skills a little with, as you guessed it, beef.

Tubbo and Tango sadly had to eat further away then everyone because the moment they got within ten feet of the fire something mysteriously combusted.

After that, the ZIT trio busted out the karaoke machine and the night went from good to great.

The old Team Star was dared to sing a rendition of Hermit Gang and everyone younger than 25 felt physical distress during some parts.

The sleepy bois (+Tubbo) sang a cover of "Your new boyfriend" (Techno got surprisingly into it) and then Wilbur swiped Ren's guitar to sing some Taylor Swift songs (accompanied by Tubbo on a synth he seemingly pulled out of nowhere) in that one weird accent he can do which had most people wheezing on the floor from laughter after the first song.

Niki threw down a german cover of Say So by Doja Cat. Grian, Phil and Tommy were unconsciously doing the parrot dancing thing. It was great.

Quackity sang something in spanish and Karl and Sapnap made over exaggerated swooning noises.

Skeppy and Bad did a duet. It was as adorable as it sounds.

Some other people also came on stage, belting out songs in such horridly broken voices that I'll spare you the details. Let's just say, nails scratching chalkboards would sound better.

And that was most of the festivities over with.

The last thing on the agenda? A meteor shower. How did they set it up? Clemmy's weird star child thing. The aforementioned girl was huddled close together with her family as they watched the comets streak across the clear sky (all electronics and artificial lights were shut off for the night) and Melohi played from a jukebox in the corner.

Fundy was laying his head in Dream's lap, the other boy was softly threading his fingers through his almost fiance's orange hair while leaning heavily on George and trying not to let sleep claim him as it had the fox (no one knew how this happened, all they were aware of is that the three had disappeared sometime during the sand castle contest only to reemerge having finally talked things through and come to an agreement that they all seemed happy with).

Ranboo, Niki, Puffy and Eret were collapsed in a happy pile just vibing.

The sleepy bois, who were for once actually sleepy, all wore matching flower crowns braided together by Stress's experienced fingers (and Wilbur's rather clumsy ones). Phil and her had managed to come to an agreement of unofficial joint custody after he witnessed Techno embarrassedly lean down to let her place a crown of golden flowers upon his head and saw his internal beam of pride when she called him "handsome".

The boys never really had a mother he mused, maybe she could teach them kindness where he couldn't.

Another surprise addition to the family was the owner of the third pair of wings in the cuddle pile. Phil didn't expect to end up with any more children at this point in his life, but Grain and Clemmy were practically attached at the hip and it felt wrong to even think about separating them.

He only hoped that those two wouldn't cause too much chaos especially when teamed up with Tubbo.

In the end, everyone drifted off to sleep, one by one they closed their eyes on their most perfect day. Praying for whatever might be out there, that they'll have many more moments just like this.

Well,

almost everyone.

Callahan chuckled as he walked back up to his spot with Alyssa farther away from the others. shutting off his camera after cycling through the pictures he took of everyone looking goofy while sleeping (His favorite is the one where Clemmy was very visibly munching on Techno's hair). He may not use those as blackmail but he sure ass hell was going to tease them about it later. He fell asleep there on that hill, drifting off to comforting rest like the others.

After that? Life moved on.

It was chaotic sure, and not perfect.

But it was theirs. They grew up slowly, learning to be kind to one another, how to grow with one another.

Life wasn't always perfect but hey, they had each other. And in the end? That's all that mattered.