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bakugohoex · 4 years

Note

Can you do Jean x reader where they are both undercover at Marley 💕💕💕

part one: “this isn’t a date jean, we’re undercover”

paring: jean kirschtein x female reader

cw: season 4 spoiler but there is no manga spoiler at all, fluff, language

word count: 2600+

a/n: i had to read so much for this fic, but i got the jist of it, again making sure you guys know there is no spoilers for the manga in here and onlt a season four spoiler do if you guys havent watched the latest episodes be warned

summary: in which you and jean are undercover doing reconnaissance in marley, want turns to investigating a local bar leads to feelings finally being brought out from the two of you

part two | part three

↞ back to attack on titan masterlist

The dress you wore covered your thighs and knees, it hugged you, the soft material being a drastic change from your normal attire. It was a warm mid-day, birds chirped and the sound of Marleyans engulphed your ears. In the 6 years in which you had known Jean you hadn’t ever expect an undercover mission taking place in Marley of all places.

He walked with your hand in his own, you smiling softly as you spoke nonchalantly to one another. It was unamusing and more a distraction than anything else. He picked the newspaper up on the stall, paying quickly as he walked back, you followed which felt more like being dragged along by his strong grip.

The way the top of his fedora sat on his now long hair, he heard about the victory of the Marleyans from a passer-by and with his hand in your own he opened the newspaper up. It was reconnaissance, you and him both knew you were supposed to act like one of these people even if they did think of you both as devils.

“I think we should visit that bar that woman told us about, a lot of the men there get drunk and reveal a lot.”

He looked down at you, your hands still connected. He had grown so much in all these years now reaching over 6ft, his long hair and scattered hairs along his chin making gorgeous. He had become the leader both you and Marco knew he would become.

“They’ll all stare at you, why would I want that?” he mutters.

You laugh at his antics, “you’re such an idiot.”

“You’re the one holding my hand.”

“Jean it’s a mission we have to pretend to be together for the performance.”

He raised an eyebrow you had full view of his face; his eyes were tired from the late nights working on the next plan of action. But most importantly, the fact that the two of you had to share a bed. He couldn’t even touch you as your small frame would sometimes push against his chest.

You smiled at the boy getting him out of his trance before skimming through the newspaper again. “We’ll go tonight after the meeting.”

You nod as the two of you walk towards the docks of Liberio. Both you and Jean were in the internment zone, a nice old woman allowing you to stay on top of her shop. Even with her being nice her opinions on titans and those within the walls were a lot cruller than u had expected.

It had been awkward the first time sleeping beside each other, you both looked up. Not facing each other but instead watching as the clock ticked away until one of you fell asleep. You both woke up wrapped in each other’s arms, and an awkwardness had set between you two from that night. You both would try to face away from each other but one way in another you ended up touching each other in some way.

He helped you up the stairs to where the little shop was kept, you both had gained some currency mostly from stealing it, but you never expected to stay here long. Only to find information until the true invasion would begin. Of course, the others were already here in their own recon missions, but you and Jean had been the first ones and had found out the most about this stupid town.

The biggest thing being that they hated Eldians of any type. You both walked through the double doors the woman smiling at how pretty you both looked together.

You had a meeting with the rest of the survey corps, Hange leading it, you got changed into what you’d wear to the bar knowing it was going to be a long night.

Jean stood at the door watching at how you easily took the dress off. You both didn’t care about changing clothes in front of each other, you’d seen worse from each other and it meant nothing after the tortures of titans.

The short dress fitted you perfectly and as Jean eyed you up and down, he craved any touch by you. He had taken the blue tie off and the suit jacket and waistcoat off leaving him in the white button up and trousers.

You smiled at how his hair stuck to the back of his neck, when he had first started growing his hair out you had loved it seeing the boy turn into a man. You both had changed since your cadet days and as much as you missed it you couldn’t say that being an adult didn’t have its perks.

“You know Y/n, I’d definitely accept any date proposals from you.”

You rolled your eyes at him, he always tormented you with the flirting. “Jean you really are a pain in my ass.”

“Such vulgar words from a pretty woman.”

You wanted to stab him with your ODM gear but instead stuck with jabbing him with your knee into his stomach. Normally when he was a lot younger it hurt him easily, but he seemed unfazed by the action almost finding it cute.

“Why did u have to grow so much? Short Jean was better.”

“Are you saying 15-year-old me is better than now me?”

You think back at the boy, bringing your finger to your chin. “Both you and 15-year-old you are pains to be around.”

He moves his face to your ear you could feel the hairs brush against your cheek from his chin as he spoke, “it’s okay Y/n we both know how you really feel.”

Rolling your eyes, he grabbed your hand almost out of instinct, you both leaving the shop as quickly as you came. Turning the many corners that Hange had told you to take after each different meeting.

The amount of walks you both went on should be unnecessary but the people of Liberio barely batted an eyelash at the two on you.

The dress was low cut and having all these new clothes made your heart warm up. You hadn’t worn different clothes in years, always the same uniform which you grew to dislike.

“Hange really sent us on a fucking expedition.” You mutter as you lean against Jean’s side.

He leads the way walking towards an unknown battered up building. It looked like it was being constructed and you were met with the scouts.

They eyed you both up your outfits standing out. “running late per usual.” Levi mutters.

As much as you had grown on Captain Levi, he still had a discomfort towards most of you. Both Jean and you let go of hands with ease standing beside each other. Before the meeting begun mostly talking about what had occurred and most significantly the defeat of Marleyans against the Mid-East.

“You know what that means, sometime soon is our time to act.” You professed, the new knowledge coming as a relief as it would soon be time for your plan to truly occur.

Armin and Mikasa spoke, the whereabouts of Eren being unknown due to his consistent disappearances. Watching these people grow you truly understood the mutual torment you all felt. As you were all dismissed all you could think about was the consistent opposition you all faced.

“I think the bars down here.” Jean retakes your hand as you smiled at him.

“Once this is over what do you think will happen.” You ask him softly.

“I don’t know.”

“Remember when we first met, and you were adamant on becoming an MP.” He listened raising an eyebrow. “Look at you now Mr Commanding Officer.”

You were proud of your friend he had worked hard to achieve this status. “You really are proud of me aren’t yah.”

You rolled your eyes gently hitting his side. “I’m telling the truth I’m proud of you.”

You had been timid in your choice of words you were proud, and he knew you were proud of him. Walking into the bar, the significant smell of alcohol mixed with sweat made you grossed out.

It was a rule to not drink under the survey corps and you hadn’t really cared for drinking. So, the sight of so many drunk people drove you mad, how easily a night of drinking could lead to a failed future.

Jean pulled out a chair for you before going to the bar, “I’ll get your favourite.”

You nodded playing with your fingers trying to listen in on the conversations that were occurring. Many Marleyans chatting shit about the Eldians and most specifically those of paradise island.

Your fist clenched as Jean brought two drinks out. “What is it?” You question looking at the red drink in front of you.

“You told me you liken cranberry juice once, i got you some”.

Your eyes widened at the boy, “Jean i said that like years ago.”

“Shows you how much i do care about you.” You rolled your eyes sipping on the drink. You both conversed but remained consistent with your spying on individuals.

“Those guys are talking about you.” Jean coughed out sipping his drink.

“I should go up to them i might get some information.”

“Don’t.” You raise an eyebrow going up to his ear. “They might steal you away.”

“This isn’t a date Jean, we’re undercover.” The way you spoke his name made him melt, he wanted to hear more of your voice specifically moaning his name out.

You stood up ready to go speak to them before you heard something come from their mouths. “If i ever saw one of those island folks I’d slit their throats and make their kids watch.”

You felt sick to the stomach by the comment and wanted to leave. Jean hadn’t heard it and as you stood frozen, he called out your name.

“Let’s get u outside.” He whispers taking your hand as you silently followed. “Are you okay?”

You nod, “I guess it just hit me we’re hated here the way the act towards us is the way we used to act against titans.”

You felt his arms wrap around you. He knew you hadn’t spoken much about the comments and that now you hit the realisation you’d confide in him more.

“I want to go back to the shop.” He nods as a comfortable silence settled in.

You cling to his arm wrapping your hands around his own. He loved the way you cling onto him like he was your protector, and you were his queen.

Walking down a long alleyway, you see some Marley men smoking and drinking. They’d be easy targets if you wanted to kill them, hearing them speak and whistle as you both walked past. Before one of them grabbing your wrist made Jean’s instincts kick in.

He punched the guy who had touched you, his filthy hands still lingering close to your body. The way Jean with ease was able to put down the two men who looked bruised and battered.

He put his hand out for you to take, he didn’t speak. Just bringing you the comfort you needed from this whole new world experience. Everything was so much bigger outside the walls and you couldn’t ever imagine putting innocent people in walls to keep them trapped.

The events of the night led to an uncomfortable silence once you arrived back to little room on top of the shop. He stripped his shirt off due to the excessive dirt it had got on it. You admired his body, the way each muscle sat perfectly on his abdomen.

You sat on the bed fidgeting with your clothes, you played with the hem of the dress which Jean could see your upper thigh from you doing.“Do you want to talk more about it?”

“I just… i guess it’s the reality.” You muttered as Jean sat beside you his shirt off. Titans seemed less scary than any of these indoctrinated Marleyans any day.

In the years Jean had known you seeing you vulnerable and passive made his heart ache. He took you by the hand letting you attach yourself to his side.

You were scared about the upcoming invasion and even worse you didn’t even know who you’d be fighting. The uncertain of it all being too much.

He walked up to you, moving closer to your smaller frame. “You didn’t have to punch those guys, I...I would’ve said something.”

“Y/n, you’ve been silent all night, you expect me to believe that you would’ve done something.” He bends down his knees touching the ground as he kneeled in front of you. His hands moving to your own stopping you from playing with your dress anymore.

Bringing your hands up to his mouth he kissed it as you could see some bruises, you stroked your thumb against the bruises hopefully it would settle down with some ice later. “What you said back in the bar?” You start to speak but you really had nothing to say, “about not going to those men.”

“I didn’t want you to get hurt if you talked to them and…” He trailed off.

“And?” You question.

He looked up at your bright face filled with love and happiness something he hadn’t seen in a very long time. “And you bring joy, in a shitty world like this I guess you’re the only one who truly brings a smile on my face.”

“Jean when did you get so sappy.” You giggle at his flustered look.

“Oh, shut up.”

“Make me.” The tone in your voice was begging him to take you.

He rolls his eyes, his tongue flicking against the inside of his mouth as he stood up looking at you. He was even taller than before. You were a mouse compared to his frame; he bent his back bringing his face closer towards yours before a hand was placed on your cheek.

He closed the gap between the two of you, making your back hit the bed. His other hand moved to your side as he was on kissing you whilst he was on top. Your back arched at the movements wanting to feel his body on your own, as you deepened the kiss. Your hands in his long hair pulling his body closer to your own, as you felt the hardness come from his trousers.

“This was your plan all along, wasn’t its baby.” He spoke stoically a cocky grin plastered to his face.

You smirked as he let go of your lips, moving his mouth to your neck as he moved your dress down your body, with your collarbone and neck revealed for him. He left marks and sucked on spots making you moan his name loudly.

“I’d…I… would n…never.” The moans engulphed you, you craved him even more.

He had never expected to hear you moan his name, and the sound of it, with you underneath fuelled him even more to continue the act. You closed your eyes as he bit and sucked on your collar before licking the side of your neck. The saltiness it brought making him lick his lips before he went back to kissing you.

The kiss was deeper, quicker than it previously had been, you placed your hands on his exposed chest. The way a single touch from you sent shivers down his spine, “I’ve always like you, y’know.”

“I assumed so.” You giggled, his body was on top of you trapping you between his broad arms and shoulders. It was a sight and you loved it.

You brought yourself up leaning up with your elbows, your dress was half off you and the way he looked at you knew that what would happen tonight had been long awaited from many many years ago.

proceed to part two here

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@samusimp @alaina-rose13 @crispychannie @underratedmage @jennammaee @cathy8taffy @sugacious @moonlightaangel

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seijorhi · 4 years

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If you have the time and feel like it, I'd love to read anything from you about Shigaraki/Reader. (Or maybe Shinsou??)The first thing that came to my mind was something involving chikan but anything that you can come up with is totally good with me as well!!!! Love your writing!!!

This is like months late I am so sorry, bby!! But I hope it’s okay? 🥺

Shigaraki Tomura x Female Reader

TW chikan, non-con, nsfw

Dirty

Staring isn’t a crime.

It’s the mantra you kept repeating to yourself as more and more passengers slowly filed in. There is nothing wrong. You’re being paranoid.

Staring isn’t a crime, but you’d feel a whole hell of a lot more comfortable if the pair of red eyes boring into you from across the train carriage weren’t accompanied by a creepy, wide grin.

You tell yourself that you’re imagining things, that you’ve read one too many shoujo mangas, because the silvery haired stranger in his ratty oversized hoodie just happens to be facing your general direction, so of course it feels like he’s staring. It doesn’t stop you from trying to tug down the hem of your skirt.

Except when the tiny hairs on the back of your neck stand on end and you decide to bite the bullet and scamper across to the other side of the carriage under the guise of getting off, the stranger follows.

He’s only staring. You’ve heard about men who like to scare girls on public transport, how they… get off on it. But the stranger seems content just to watch. There’s a Nintendo switch sticking out of his hoodie pocket, but in the fifteen minutes you’ve been riding together, he hasn’t made a move to touch it - while everybody else on the carriage is either sleeping, reading or absorbed in their phones, the stranger’s attention is fixed entirely on you.

He’s enjoying it, you think - your discomfort. The way you shift and try to subtly curl in on yourself, hiding behind other passengers, how your eyes keep darting up to see if he’s still watching (he is) before shifting your attention back to the phone in your hands. Should you text somebody? Your best friend, maybe? And say what exactly, ‘help, there’s a creepy looking guy staring at me on the train, please come get me?’

There were at least twenty other people on the carriage with you, and not one of them has noticed the silver haired man staring at you - or if they have, they’ve promptly dismissed it as nothing to concern themselves with. You’re working yourself up over nothing - he’s only doing it trying to get a reaction out of you.

You don’t want to cause a fuss over nothing.

Breathing deeply, you decide to simply not give him the satisfaction, turning your back on him to face out the window by the doors instead. You still have another twenty minutes left of the ride until you reach your stop, with any luck he’ll lose interest soon enough.

At the next station, the doors slide open and a swarm of commuters flood into the carriage. You’re bumped and brushed past, jostled about as more and more passengers try to fit onboard - it’s uncomfortable, but for once you find yourself grateful for the teeming crowds. With enough people squished between you and the pale, hoodie-clad stranger, you comfort yourself with the knowledge that he’s probably lost sight of you (or at least the parts of you he’s interested in leering at) and allow yourself to breathe and just relax-

Until a sudden jolt of the carriage sends you reeling into the chest of the commuter behind you.

On instinct you turn your head to glance over your shoulder, apologies ready on the tip of your tongue, only for them to turn to ash in your mouth as you meet bloodshot vermillion eyes and a wide, unsettling grin.

“Whoops,” he chuckles, the sound dry and rasping, like nails raking down a chalkboard. “Better be careful, now. Don’t wanna hurt yourself.”

Your breath catches and you still, but there’s no room for you to move as pale, spindly fingers creep across your waist, sliding down the pleated fabric of your skirt. A tiny whimper, lost almost immediately to the droning hum of the carriage as it jolts along the tracks, escapes as rough fingertips graze the top of your thigh, dragging your skirt upwards in search of another prize. You feel the chest pressed against your back rumble with another laugh, dry, chapped, lips dragging possessively against the curve of your neck, and a deep, shuddering inhale.

(Is he sniffing your hair?!)

“You might wanna hold onto something, princess,” the stranger jeers. Goosebumps prickle at your skin, a deep, unsettling pit growing in your stomach. This isn’t staring - this isn’t harmless anymore.

He’s got you caged between his body and the doors, one arm shot out over your shoulder to brace himself, the other creeping up towards your panties with agonising slowness. There’s nowhere to go, but for the life of you, you don’t know why you can’t seem to make a sound. Your legs are quaking, heart thumping unsteadily as long digits probe at your panty covered sex, dragging teasingly against the outline of your slit. All it would take is a shout, a yell, and somebody would intervene - packed train or not - but despite the icy fear seeping into your veins, the rising panic as your pretty lace panties are yanked to the side, your cries are caught in your throat.

Your cheeks burn with humiliation as long digits roughly slither between your plush pussy lips. You’re not wet - how could you be? - but that doesn’t seem to bother the man violating you, not as those same fingers greedily tease at your hole for a split second before they plunge inside of you, his thumb rubbing at your crude circles around your clit like it’s a joystick. You wonder if anyone has noticed the hitch in your breath, the soft, whimpering whine that you can’t quite hold back as he fucks you on his fingers, stretching you out. Facing out the window, there’s nobody to see the tears that spill down your cheeks, the way your features contorts in pain - and something else - as his fingertips press and drag along your warm, tight cunny walls.

There’s no rhythm or technique as he roughly mashes his palm against your sex, but suddenly it’s not so much an effort to speak out as it is to smother your own noises - the thought of somebody catching you like this, seeing him finger fuck you in on a crowded, public train in the middle of the day making you want to curl up and disappear entirely.

His fingers are stuffed deep inside of your pussy, fucking you in earnest, it doesn’t matter if you were willing or not, you let him get this far without so much as a peep. Who’s going to believe that you didn’t want this, weren’t silently begging for it - that with every flick of his wrist this stranger is raping you in broad daylight in the middle of a crowded train?

You bite down on your bottom lip, hands clenching into pathetic fists at your side as the man behind you moans and grunts in your ear. There’s something hard and warm pressed against your ass - it takes you a moment to realise that it’s his cock, and his hips are rutting eagerly against your backside.

His panting breath tickles at your neck, “Gettin’ all nice ‘n wet, such a good little slut. You -hah- you enjoying this, princess?”

Revulsion rises like a wave, crashing through you, but you can’t deny the building slick you feel easing his passage - your cunt is all but drooling around his fingers. You can’t bear to look around to see if any of the other passengers have noticed, if they can hear the lewd sounds of him fingering you like a man possessed.

Your forehead falls against the cool, glass window, your eyes squeezing shut as more tears fall. It doesn’t make a difference, you can’t disappear into your mind and pretend that this isn’t happening, he’s making sure of it. His hips are grinding faster against the swell of your ass, his fingers picking up their pace in response. It’s like he wants you to cum with him, and when a third finger slips inside of you, crooks and slams against that sweet spot that has you gasping, you know that it’s not far off.

“Tomura,” he pants desperately into your ear as he ruts up against you like a beast in heat, “Fuck! My n-name is Tomura.”

You don’t know why he’s telling you. Does he think you’ll cry it out as his thumb swipes messily at your clit and your tight cunny walls unwittingly squeeze down on his fingers? Or does he just want you to know the name of the stranger about to make you cum in a train full of strangers.

You don’t have time to ponder the question, not as his teeth sink into the tender skin of your neck to muffle his growls and his fingers speed up, that tight coil of heat in your core pulling taut and snapping as unwanted pleasure explodes like fireworks, overwhelming your system as you convulse and shudder around him.

Your vision goes white, a strangled sound somewhere between a sob and a moan leaves your lips.

Tomura snarls, riding out his own orgasm, warm cum spurting into his jeans as he all but collapses against you. For a moment, you two stay like that, his sweaty, larger frame draped over yours, his chest heaving, hand still caught up beneath your skirt.

In the wake of your climax, shame and humiliation rear their ugly heads. You came, you enjoyed it, your own violation. No amount of reassurance that it’s just your body's natural reaction to stimuli can stop the rising disgust that surges through you so violently it threatens to choke you. You feel dirty - filthy and used - especially with Tomura’s face nuzzled in your neck, his tongue laving at your flushed skin, the blood welling from his overzealous bite.

His hand slides out of your underwear, using your skirt to wipe off the syrupy wetness that clings to his digits. You stomach churns in response as the train pulls up alongside the station platform, passengers once again jostling as they prepare to disembark. Even now you can’t force yourself to move, can’t shove him away like you so desperately want to.

You’re pathetic.

He sighs contentedly, chapped lips curling into a smirk as the voice over the p.a announces the incoming stop. If Tomura notices the tears that wet your cheeks, your shoulders shaking with quiet sobs, he doesn't pass comment, choosing instead to press a sickeningly sweet kiss to your temple as the train slows down to a halt.

“That was real fun, Y/N,” he coos gleefully. “We should do it again some time.”

And then he’s gone, disappearing into the crowd of exiting passengers, and your trembling legs finally give out.

#yandere bnha #yandere Shigaraki #yandere Shigaraki x reader #yandere Shigaraki Tomura #yandere Shigaraki Tomura x reader #yandere my hero academia #tw public sex #tw non con #tw chikan

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papers4me · 3 years

Text

Fruits Basket Manga Review, ch (92-93)

That was painful & so well-written! This analysis will focus on kyokyo mainly & faintly on her effect on kyo. Although, her story affects tohru’s life immensely, I won’t analyze tohru’s part & will wait until it’s a tohru’s chapter to use the knowledge of kyoko’s past to better read tohru’s mind & understand her decisions! Can’t wait! after all, that’s why I’ve read the manga to begin with!

-Kyoko’s Atonement: (the weight of words):

Kyoko breaks down after she learns she’s expecting. Why? cuz she hurt her mom. The notion that “yeah my parents caused me emotional trauma & so I’mma hurt them as well” is toxic & burdening as it starts a cycle of pain. Kyoko was right. She had no idea how her mom felt seeing her rebel, or follow violence or hear her harsh words. I’m not cleansing the mom from guilt nor responsibility. I’m just saying since the mom’s pov is blocked from us, assuming shes similar to the dad is wrong. kyoko’s fear of being punished with a child similar to herself is genuine, realistic & refreshing to see expressed in anime! usually character like kyoko are cool & brave, but here she’s humanly weak & doubtful. LOVE IT!

Moreover, in furuba words weigh on ppl & have consequences. We see this with kyo. His dad destroyed him verbally with words “ not my fault, it’s yours” that kyo echoes back to yuki! meaning the consequences of the dad’s words cause harm to his wife, kyo & even yuki!. Kyo was tormented with his own words for long time & clung to them even more in order not to resort to suicide! “ not my fault, it’s the rat’s” . Words can crush you down so bad if you hear them from loved ones, & worse if you utter them back to other loved ones! here kyoko learned that just the mere thought of her future child echoing her words back to her would torment her to death! Excellent writing!

-Katsuya invented Furuba’s vision (Accepting weakness & moving on):

The teachings of kyoko & tohru were really katsuya’s after all. I’m fne with that. These teachings are the core of Furuba’s vision. He tells kyoko to accept that she’s weak, afraid & doubtful. it’s okay. But gives her tools to move on. Your kid isn’t you. They’re an individual person. As parents all we can do is give love/hugs (sth kyoko’s parents didnt do), listen to them (sth yuki’s parents didnt do) & if they do sth wrong will explain it & teach them well (sth kyo’s parents didn’t do, his wrong deed was being born a cat spirit & he was hated for it with no explanation, mom gave lots of “fake” love & escaped by death, dad became a raging monster). Accepting weakness & moving on is what the cursed sohmnas needed to do to heal & what tohru taught them. Off course, tohru herself struggled to follow her own teachings & that’s amazingly realistic!

-Kyoko’s guilt (punishment brings ease):

Kyoko wanted to be punished so harsh for her husband’s death. The gossip got to her. She failed him as a life’s companion. Taking care of our loved ones is a duty we carry with much love & care. Them slipping away is perceived as us failing by none than ourselves. The thing is, death comes with no warning at times. It was his time to leave. Accepting it or not, wont bring him back, but accepting it will help kyoko deal with pain while not accepting will cause more pain for her & tohru.

One of the most painful things abt grief is that it’s personal. Life continues around you. Only you feel it. “didn’t the world end when katsuya died”. No kyoko. Only you died emotionally. Only him died physically. Kyo once said “ mom why didn’t you kill me instead”. A different reaction to grief, guilt & pain, but same conclusion: neither katsuya nor kyo’s mom are coming back no matter how much pain kyo or kyoko felt.

Kyoko found ease in emotional death, neglecting & refusing life, punishing herself for staying after him.

kyo found ease in rage & blaming others as he his father did, later he’ll escape to emotional & physical slow death “ cat cage/confinement”.

tohru... found ease in pretending "I’m okay” & her mom is alive.. but not physically.. emotionally, so she’ll ignore the truth & live only for her.

Didn’t I say grief is harsh, weird & very very personal. It’s hard to explain, deal with & heal. The mere words of consolation hurt cuz the grieving ones dont want to accept loved one are really gone. Her dad’s harsh words cemented the “emotional death” that kyoko felt. I’m not needed. neither katsuya. nor parents in general. depression. misery. sadness. emptiness.

-The tv show helped to trigger kyoko’s desire to “meet” katsuya. She has already reached the conclusion that she isnt needed. So, the tv show with their words of the deceased wanting you to be happy. triggered her into misinterpreting the words as to mean her death NOT fuel her to live in his memory as intended.

- “Loosing your way first before finding your answer” is okay & so human!:

Ironically..Tohru... was the person Kyoko was punishing NOT herself: By being emotionally dead, kyoko neglected her daughter. Her world shouldnt be just one person. There are others. Katsuya himself gave her a person to love. Tohru. Kyoko chose death & unintentionally set tohru into a world of loneliness 10 times harsher thsn what kyoko faced. She was about to do, but was saved by a nameless child who reminded her of tohru. She chose wrong first but later saw her answer. Kyo chose death by accepting the confinement & he, too, unintentionally set tohru into a world of loneliness 10 times harsher if he wasnt with her. He chose wrong first but later saw his answer. Off course kyo’s story is more developed & complicated as he dealt with bigger issues than just tohru & his answer wasn't just loving tohru alone but also loving himself & choosing to live for them both: himself & tohru.

-Kyo’s guilt is a concussion thought eating him alive:

Part of why kyo’s story was one of the most human & complex is due him loosing his way first, failing, repeating mistakes “ I always though that hurting ppl was the only thing I was good at, after all, isnt that why mom died?” Kyo’s nightmare being a conscious effect of hearing tohru’s talk abt “ videos & memories of loved ones” is 1000 times stronger & more human than a cliche effect of seeing a “ hat” & to revive a a blocked memory... What the hell!! truly disgusting how the emotional weigh is reduced for stupid cliche drama !!!!!! ..

Anyway, kyo actively & consciously wanted punishment .He was sure that kyoko blamed him” I wont forgive you” can only mean what it literally means. The purpose of the nightmare is to cause kyo to seek “ emotional death” like kyoko & to loose his path more. It is meant to prepare kyo to refuse tohru even more. Therefore, the pay off at the climax will be better & stronger.

Reading kyo’s inner thoughts will never not be refreshing!!! Also, the slow burn is cooked on low , hot fire , so the pay off will be the most delicious there is!

Side Notes:

I’ve stated my feelings regarding the age gap between kyoko & katsuya in last chapter’s preview post. I’m done with it & won’t let it interfere with my analysis of kyoko nor tohru.

The idea of just being together as a fun hanging out activity without being bothered much of where reminds ms so much of kyo & tohru!! we see them being happy together in the anime in kazuma’s house, shigure’s rooftop, cooking pancake in the kitchen! I really like this domestic feel of romance! it contradicts the notion of expensive restaurant with the girl wearing a breathtaking dress to woo the guy for it to be utterly romantic as we see in movies, & other stories.

NGL, katsuya looked sexy waiting home.. damn it! >_<

I cried watching tohru between her parents, how they acted & how loved she was! T_T. it reminded me of my niece How her dad’s death affected her! She was the apple of his eyes.. T_T.

Tohru is indeed a rice ball! her dad gave her a masculine name while tohru is so feminine! his reasoning is “finding salty taste in sweet things make the taste better & stronger, kinda giving it a hidden flavour”, the rice ball has a pickle inside it & it’s what makes the taste so savory & delicious!

Grandpa’s “ chance meetings could lead to variety of outcomes, good or bad” YES! kyo/tohru/yuki meeting each other by chance. Fiction make it look weird, but trust me, real life has those by dozens!

“ i wonder how lost you’ll be, how much time you’ll need to get your answer”. He will screw up so bad, kyoko! it will be so good! one of the best screw up’s I’ve seen! so painful for him & tohru & amazingly written!

Kyo’s nightmare being connected to him remembering/dreaming of kyoko’s story is bigger effect than opening the ep with it & having the cause be sth that happened last ep, a week ago... the effect is NOT the same.

Momiji is so cute!!! did his curse break here or not yet? he seemed as tall as tohru.

Writing tohru worried abt kyo after seeing him pale is the tohru I know!! Not that stupid girl who watches the guy she loves have a panic attach in se3, ep6, then goes in ep 7...” dahhhh.. Jeez.. I duno why kyo is sleeping until now.. better laugh & make cute rice cakes” giggle giggle...That scene got me so furious even when I first saw it!! THIS IS NOT TOHRU! tohru cried for a stupid story that haru told abt puppets!! she’ll forget the person she challenges herself for is sick?! ugh!

I love seeing yuki & kyo chill & cool around each other.

Kyoko being fully dependent on katsuya can be a factor in her grief, but I’ve seen cases where both partners are independent but still be completely broken after the others’ death. Grief isn’t logical at all & is extremely personal.

#Fruits Basket #fruits basket manga #ch 92 #ch 93 #sad paper #Anime Only #manga spoilers

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lunaekalenda · 3 years

Note

hi!! can i ask for either an eren or porco x reader fic where their titan form saves you from nearly dying during a battle and they get mad at you afterwards because they’re obviously not gonna be there all the time then when you apologize they end up breaking down because their afraid of losing you and it just ends in fluff 👉🏻👈🏻

OMG OMG wait this is gold!! that was a really good plot!! i had a hard time deciding, but i'm more into porco lately, so this time i'll be using him for my first fic! i hope you like it and sorry for the errors or the things that were different to the original ask :( (*´-`) this takes place in one of the battles Marley fights against another enemy, but I will not follow the line of the original manga :D (also thanks to @breathes24 for refreshing my memory :D)

𝔰𝔞𝔳𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔶𝔬𝔲

❁ porco x reader

❁ mention of blood and battle, mention of the extraction of a bullet, bad talking. shingeki s4 spoilers!

The only thing you could hear were shots. You kept running, your feet hurted and the backpack was really heavy. Running in the middle of the battlefield was a suicide mission, you knew it, but you were not going to leave all in Pieck's and Porco's hands. So, trying to avoid the shots, you keep runing. You can see Pieck's bag shooting and Porco running from one machine to another, trying to break them with his hardened claws. You look around, the corpses of your companions scattered across the field, along with some enemies. You try to concentrate in what you’re trying to do. The kids are safe in the trench, and you’re not a soldier of valor, you only have nursing knowledge, useless for the fight.

That’s why the commander has not hesitated to send you as a distraction.

“If you expose yourself as an easy target, they will probably have to divide their attention between them and you. Also, they know there are nine Changing Titans, but they don’t know exactly how many of them we have. They could think you’re one of them. That will make Zeke’s appearance more unexpected for them, you see?”

"Where the hell is Zeke?" you think. He should be here helping, a lot of eldians have died. a scream is heard and you identify it as a Titan's one. Pieck received a shot on her hand. She's losing her strength little by little. Porco keeps fighting, and Pieck’s support soldiers do a great job mastering the cannons, trying to hit the enemies. Reiner is trying to stop their train.

"Just wait a bit, guys. I'm almost there..." you enter the enemy side of the field. Your trench looks empty, because your army blindly believes in titans. But, like humans, their stamina is limited, and transforming takes a great deal of energy.

"There's one of them!!" someone yells in front of you. "She could be the Beast Titan, kill her before she reaches the other two!" all the soldiers can be heard loading their shotguns.

The first shot impacts on the floor. The second, near you. You just have an option: keep running, faster.

You accelerate the step to the front, where big war machines are searching you. From the trench, a lot of soldiers are trying to kill you, failing due to the poor visibility they have, but it's a matter of time before those who run the tanks finds you.

This is the end.

The shots are every time more precise, but you can’t return and leave them alone, waiting for Zeke to make his appearance.

You have no scape.

You close your eyes, accepting the destiny, while you keep running. You can hear them charging their big machines. They found you.

You’re their target now.

A Titan's scream is heard, right before the order of the enemy captain.

"Fire!"

You open your eyes when a shot impacts on your leg, and you watch how they charge the canons, ready to kill you. Now you have zero scape way, you’re hurt and you can’t move.

Suddenly, the Jaw Titan appears and, opening his mouth, picks you up off the ground, locking you in his hardened jaw. His speed of movement allows him to easily dodge all shots.

"Thanks, Pock."

A tremor and the sound of lightning tells that Zeke has already arrived to help.

He keeps runing, and then all you can hear are rocks hitting people, trains and houses. Zeke’s titan may be slow for running, but his pitches are deadly. Your leg hurts where the bullet went through, and the pants you’re using are covered with blood.

“Just leave me here and return. I don’t want them to lose because of me.”

He ignored what you said and kept running, but slowing down. Probably he’s tired, he has been fighting for hours.

Once you two are far enough from the battlefield, Porco turns right and you recognize the path he has been taking. We’re close to the residence. He opens his mouth and you go down to the floor, but your leg complains of the roughness of the movement. Then, his Titan falls, and he appears behind it. He seems angry.

"What the hell were you doing there?" he says. His Titan is steaming.

"I wanted to help you, you were doing all the work... The commander told me to help and I thought it was a good idea." Porco looks at you without saying anything for a minute. Then, he sighs and looks at your bleeding leg, before coming towards you. His arm slips under your knees carefully, and the other rests on your back, before he lifts you. “I can walk, you don’t have to...”

“You have a fucking bullet inside, just take help for one damn time.” You decided to shut up and he enters the residence. “I have some medical stuff in my room, I’ll take you there.” He starts to walk up the stairs, heading to his room. There are a few doctors on their daily check of the injured soldiers that live here. He opens his door using his foot, and he enters. His room is clean and clear. Natural light comes in through the window, and a bedside lamp lights up the corner of hi bed. He leaves you in the bed before walking to his personal bathroom, from where he takes a medicine cabinet. Porco drags a chair to place it near the bed, making him able to treat your leg. He hasn’t talk since we arrived here, but he keeps frowning.

“We didn’t need help” He says after cutting your pants at the height of the wound. Then, Porco opens the medicine cabinet, and takes out thread, needle and some surgical tweezers. The scalpel glows when he pulls it out.

“Maybe this hurts a bit.” He whispers. He prepares also a towel with some water. “Grab that pillow and use it to muffle your screams.” You do what he said, and you put his pillow on your face. It smells like him, and it comforts you a lot. He works fast, moving his fingers with precision, and extracting the bullet without problem. Once he’s finished, he saves everything back in place and offers you a glass of water. You’re dizzy from the pain and you needed to drink, so you thank him and drink.

“Do it slow or you’ll be feeling worst, idiot.” he scolds tou. You drink it slower and you take a breath once you’re finished.

“Thanks” He puts the glass on the table he has as a desk.

“Well, I...”

“You could have died out there” he says. He’s not looking at you, and runs his hand through his hair. “You were about to die.”

“Thanks for that, you saved me”

“I’m not going to last forever, you know? Someday I’ll die, and I’m not going to be there to save you like all the other times. So start thinking about surviving and stop playing the heroine.”

“Sorry?”

Why was he so pissed off? You didn’t ask for his help.

“I don't have to take care of you every time we go out onto the battlefield”

“Stop doing it, then”

“It's called companionship, but it only works if everyone focuses on surviving and not in saving stupid death-hugging soldiers”

“I never asked you to save me.” The words come out on their own before you could stop them. That was very rude, you’re ungrateful. He looks at you in the eyes, but you can't tell how he feels.

“Cool, next time I'll take care of my business and let you die, if that’s what you want.”

He’s hurt. You hurt him because you were getting nervous.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean anything that I said. I was getting anxious...”

He sighs. “I also talked badly to you.”

“But you’re right. I can’t survive by myself.”

“I didn’t mean to say that.” His voice is losing strength, and his gaze is lowered. “It’s just... I thought that today I was losing you, I was not going to be able to arrive on time” his voice breaks while he talks. “I don't know what I would have done if something had happened to you”

You looked at him surprised. “To me? Who cares about me? Maybe it’s because we trained together since kids.” You think for yourself, before speaking.

“Well, I know you care for all of us, but Pock yo...”

“You’re not getting it.” He says. Then he leans over to the bed. “I care for you. I care a lot. I can’t imagine if something bad happens to you. I’m always near in case I have to help you. I can only thing about your wellness.” His brown eyes are fixed on yours. “Please, don’t do that again.” His eyes are getting wet. “Just the idea of losing you terrifies me.” His hand sits on your back, and draws you to him. You’re speechless.

You have always been interested in Porco. When you first met him, you thought he was really handsome, and his personality made you think of him as unattainable. You two have been training together since kids. He was really good in all skills, and you were really bad. He helped you a couple times, but you ended in the nursery school. You started to lose contact, but then he inherited the Jaw Titan and wasn’t sent to Paradis, so you both coincide again. He is a man now, even more attractive than before, but with a somewhat shocking personality. So listen him saying this things makes your heart shudder.

“Pock, I...”

“I like you. Well, I think this is no more just attraction.” he whispers. “I guess I’m in love with you.”

That hit you like a train. His love for you was behind all the times he saved you, the times he helped you and the times he reprimanded you. He was moved by love, genuine concern.

“Are you crying?” he separates you from his body to look at your face. Tears roll down your cheeks fast. Porco places his hands on both sides of your face, dabbing them dry with his thumbs. Your hands are placed on top of his, and you lean your head towards his touch.

“I also love you, Pock” he smiles before kissing your forehead. “Since we were kids”

“You know that if you had said it before, I would have corresponded long ago” you laugh quietly, his thumbs tracing circles on your skin. “I can’t promise you a long life together, but if you accept the little that I can offer, I’ll be delighted to be with you.”

His lips place a soft kiss on your hair and you hug him.

“I will be happy to be with you, Pock.”

The room was silent, and you could only listen to his heartbeat, slow, because he has you on his arms, alive. You look at him, his handsome face looking you.

“Does that mean I can ask you to going out later” he laughs.

“I just took out a bullet from your leg, you have to rest.” you smirk.

“I live in the other part of the city. I can’t walk.”

“I’ll call a horse cart for you.”

He was having fun, dodging every possible way to spend time together that night.

“What if my leg hurts? I live alone.” you tried and, for your surprise, he smiled.

“Then I guess you need someone to take care of you tonight...”

His lips covered yours sweetly, and you thought you could get used to it.

To him.

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kuroos-world · 4 years

Text

The Bookshop Keeper - Dabi mini series

Masterlist A/N: thank you for reading ! :) lmk if you want to be tagged !

Pt.1 EC Pt.3 Pt.4

Ever since your official introduction Dabi comes in more frequently. Often the two of you stay way past closing, discussing books you’re reading and theories you have about certain lines. Recently though you’d been reading lots of poetry, which you read aloud and Dabi listened intensely. Your voice was so soothing to him and he loved the way you annunciated your words. One night while you’re reading poetry, you sneak in some of your own. ‘Casually’ asking Dabi his thoughts on it, and when he realizes it was an original he’s elated. Demanding to read everything you’ve ever written, he’s so impressed and loves how intelligent and knowledgeable you are. Really though he’s just happy you trust him enough to read your innermost thoughts, and he learns so much about you through it. Pains you’ve hidden from others, topics that are important to you, how deeply you're capable of loving, and so much more. You become his escape from reality, and he was yours.

No matters what struggles you faced during the week, the two of you could always come to one another and relax. Whether it be reading in silence next to each other (which was Dabis favorite) , venting about the problem (mainly you) or distracting yourselves with talking about anything. He even stayed with you on long nights when you had to update your records or check inventory. Dabi became your most trusted friend, he knew practically everything about you, and even though he never talked about his personal life you felt like you really knew him too. But the closer you grew the more worried Dabi became. He feared his life with the LOV would catch up to him or worse you, he wanted to keep you as far away from that as possible.

“Dabi?” Your voice is so soft as you call out to him.

“Yeah? What’s up?” He asks from across the aisle. Tonight the two or you were unboxing and shelving a new edition of shojo manga, “Thanks for always keeping me company,” you’re smile is sweet and pure, Dabi chuckles, “anytime”

“I really like hanging out with you, mm, maybe though we can hangout outside the shop too?” Your tone is hopeful but you catch his gaze, Dabi stares at you with a blank face. He knows he has a mission coming up so he probably won’t be around for a while anyways “...or not” your voice falters but you smile at him to show you’re not upset. “Uh I mean I’d like to but I can’t for now” you nod and busy yourself with shelving the new books. He leaves soon after and you mentally kick yourself, ‘ he probably doesn’t want to or maybe he just doesn’t like being around me as much as I like being around him’ you lock up shop walking home quietly ‘only 2 blocks’ you tell yourself. You’re too wrapped up in your thoughts to notice the shadowy figure trailing behind you. He walks slowly mentally scolding himself for being so cold to you, but also for barely realizing you walk home alone every night. ‘I always stay late with you, dangerous and this idiot hasn’t even realized I’m following, ugh why don’t you ever say something?’ He thinks as he watches tensely as you walk into your apartment before walking away.

**********************

You haven’t seen Dabi in about two weeks, you were worried you overstepped your boundaries. You sigh feeling lonely as you close up shop for the night. There was a quiet knock on the back door, you opened up to see Dabi. He was breathing heavily, his turquoise eyes wild with adrenaline, he’s holding his side leaning into the frame. His whole demeanor had changed from the quiet pensive man you knew to a cocky bastard, he smirks looking down at you, “can I come in?” He asks his voice full of arrogance, but you side step anyways. The two of you walking towards your office, “what happened?” You sounded so worried it was almost enough to bring Dabi down from the high he currently felt, “don’t worry about it-,” he sighs and you feel a change in him once again as he sits scratching his neck awkwardly, “uh I just need to lay low for a few hours, can I stay here?” You nod, “course you can” you touch his side and he hisses, your eyebrows furrow and you reach out to him. He lets you, watching you tentatively, you pull up his shirt seeing his scars but also a giant bruise forming right under. You stare at him eyes full of worry and pain for him, “ ‘s okay hun, I’m fine, I just need to lay low,” He was so excited to see you after his mission he completely forgot he’d have to lie about where he’d been and why he needed to hide out. The main reason he came here was because he’d rather hide out in a place he could feel close to you. He sits back in your comfy chair, eyes even more tired than you’ve ever seen. “stay with me tonight,” you say the words before your brain can even process them, Dabi still laying back, opens one eye, peaking at you. Once he sees the pink in your cheeks and the seriousness in your eyes he nods. The two of you walk side by side avoiding the open roads or anything with too many lights and people. When you arrive at your apartment your heart is racing, Dabi walks in behind you, his mouth hung open in surprise at the wall of books you had, filled from top to bottom. “Um so it’s not much but this is the living room, the kitchen is there, the bathroom is on that side and my room is through here,” you point everything out to him and walk into the room with Dabi right behind you, he laughs when he sees another small bookshelf by your bed, “those are your favorite ones right?” He asks seeing how worn most of them are and noticing a few familiar titles, your face heats at his words, “yeah.. I like to have them close” the innocence in your voice drives Dabi mad, you’re too cute. “Anyways, you can stay in here and I’ll take the couch” you smile at him, “y/n” his tone is stern and his eyes meet yours, “I know you read a lot of romance so not to be cliche but, we’re adults we’re more than capable of sharing a bed,” you give him a sheepish look, and he laughs loudly, more than you’ve ever heard him laugh. “Dabiii, I knoww,” you huff and he laughs louder, a full belly laugh, Your heart skips a beat at the beautiful sound, and he teases you some more. His demeanor was no longer cocky but also not as pensive as usual, he seemed more in his element, more comfortable than in the shop. He looked like he belonged here, teasing your embarrassed state, and laying in bed next to you with a book in his hand.

You leave him laying in bed while you go shower, you come back changed and sleepy. You yawn as you crawl in next to Dabi, who was still reading. He turns his attention away from the book, “y/n” he waits to have your full attention before continuing, “I appreciate you letting me stay with you,” he smiles, so kindly at you, you return the smile, “anything for you” he smiles wider, “read to me” he whispers, his face inching closer to yours “okay” you respond whispering too. He hands you the book, you open your mouth to read but he stops you, “come here” he pulls you to him. He leans against the headboard and sits you between his legs, you lay back against his chest, looking up at him in the dim light. He smiles down at you, playing with your hair, “read hun,” and so you do. The two of you lay like that you reading and him listening playing with your hair, happy to be in the blissful world you create.

You continue to read until you can barely keep your eyes open, Dabi takes the book from your hands placing it to the side and turning the light off, as your body relaxes into his,

“Y/n, lovely as ever,

Kind as can be,

You’re so very clever,

Please always stay with me”

he laughs at his own sappiness, pulling you closer and kissing the top of your head.

——————————————

Tag list:

@orenjineki @liitlesushi @icedtea-with-lemon16

@dabis-bitch @c0metar5on

#mha fanfiction #mha imagines #dabi headcanons #mha x reader #mha smut #mha dabi #mha fluff #dabi x y/n #dabi touya #yandere dabi #dabi smut #dabi imagine #dabi todoroki #dabi x reader #bnha dabi #dabi fluff #bnha fanfiction

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burnedbyshoto · 4 years

Text

I wanted to make myself like the ravine

— There are plenty of things that Hawks knows about, but there are few he knows none about. A journey of how Hawks navigates the meaning of the word love.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

pairing: hawks (takami keigo) x fem!reader

warnings: recent manga spoilers, future!au, alcohol consumption, fem!reader

word count: 6,819

a/n: this is for the pocuties valentines day collab! rhank you for letting me join! inspired by the poem to the title of this fic!

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

A G A P E

—

Hawks is one of the fastest men in the world.

It’s not a brag; it’s the truth.

A cold, hard, damning truth.

Hawks is a Pro Hero with the power, skill, and finesse required to take the fall for the entire country. He is someone who is loved by all, who thrives off of the appreciation and the cheers, but he knows — he understands — he’s expendable. He’s a tool—an object seconds from being put to rest.

There are many things that Hawks knows; he’s been training to be a hero since he was in his very childhood. Blindfolded, tested and conditioned to be the ideal hero, the perfect pawn.

Hawks is no idiot, and he will never deny that often times that he isn’t sure what he is feeling.

Emotions are weird for him. Feelings are oversimplified in everything he was taught, yet disgustingly really and oddly interfering the second he had set foot into the spotlight. He was used to the cold, the people who would view him as a specimen, experiment 20493, codenamed: Fierce Winged Hawks. The only emotions he understood was apathy, seriousness, anger, resentment, bitterness, disappointment, and relief. When finally, finally, the Hero Commission broke his wings, his spine, and his mind, the small boy so eager to be a Hero ultimately nothing but a soldier, ready to follow commands to the T.

Hawks has only heard of love from the blurry, unclear memories of his childhood. His mother muttering how she had no love for him to be taking care of him as he did, or his father saying he could never love him. Love was foreign, strange, alien to him. Even when he was eighteen and finally given a bit of freedom from the chains the Hero Commission bound him in was expressed out of love. But he was put into the cage that granted him the ability to spread his stiff wings; love made no sense.

He saw lovers making out in alleyways, and he furrowed his eyebrows, wondering just why anyone would want to kiss in the smelly, dark, virus-infected areas. He saw his colleagues come in looking dazed, refreshed, reborn, yelling loudly, and singing poetry about their love for some other person they met just yesterday. He also couldn’t ignore the days, weeks, months later when they would rearrive with red-rimmed eyes, swollen eyes, and a tremor to their voice.

Love seemed… awful to Hawks.

Love was a deception of brain chemicals. Nothing more than your mind bending, flipping, and twisting to make something that made absolutely no sense make sense.

Hawks had expressed that one day to a sidekick of his, his barriers and walls crumbling away because he had been on a stakeout for five days straight now. The world that could never keep up with him was numbing his brain.

“Well, that’s romantic and flirtatious love for ya,” his sidekick explained with a halfhearted shrug. It seemed that he both agreed and disagreed with what Hawks had to say. “They’re amazing loves, don’t get it wrong, and they definitely don’t make sense, but they’re loves not meant to last.”

Hawks blinked.

“What?”

His sidekick chuckled, hands rubbing at his eyes as he peered out the window again, his sullen eyes looking even more tired.

“Have you never learned the different types of love before, Hawks?” the sidekick teased as much as he was curious. “I figured a pro as popular and smart as you are would know the different types of love.”

Hawks feathers fluttered in his inability to keep his lack of knowledge to himself.

“I don’t.”

“Wow, finally something Hawks isn’t aware of!” the sidekick laughed, and his hand opened his phone, fingers hitting the screen before shoving the device into Hawks’ chest. “I’m sure you’ll find that you can understand at least one love.”

Hawks grabbed the phone, head cocking to the side in his curiosity as he scrolled down through the phone.

There were eight different types.

Eight different ones that he could have experienced within his then twenty-one years, and he found himself unable to look away from one.

Agape: universal, selfless love

“Hawks, they’re moving!” the sidekick squawked, and Hawks handed over the phone, and with nothing on his mind, burst out the window, ready to take down this organization.

Hawks had to admit that later that night, when he was finally able to sleep in his own bed, he felt selfless love. It was for the people of Japan. The many citizens who needed his help and the heroes of the country who rose to the demands of the job. Maybe it wasn’t the type of love depicted in anything he’s ever read or watched before, but that was okay. It was love.

The love he has for the citizens is enough to keep his head afloat.

This is the only love he needs in his life right now, the only love that matters.

But he’s no longer twenty-one, he’s twenty-five, and the wings on his back that feel practically invisible to him, are hurting. His back is in pain, his quirk almost gone, save for the smallest, insignificant feathers perching from the stumps of what was his beginnings of a wingspan. It still burns, phantom singes and phantom heat whenever he thinks about his nearly gone, never to be grown again, wings.

“Well, Hawks, you already know that this is going to happen,” comes the cold voice of one of the board members of the Hero Commission. A man who had practically raised (see managed) him.

Today was the end of Hawks life, more or less.

“AFO, Shigaraki Tomura, and the well-known former members of the League of Villains were finally stopped,” Hawks speaks with a nod. He knows, even though he could not be a soldier, he had been around to see the young UA students, Endeavors Interns, bring them to justice.

The biggest names of evil were dead, and Hawks already knew he was over.

To be fair, he was glad it was over.

But still, it hurt to hear the indifference in his voice, the apathy, the tedium.

“Operation: Fierce Wings - Hawks is officially over.”

“I could’ve figured that one out pretty easily,” Hawks jests, unable to show the way his heart twisted and withered under the knowledge that he was no longer a hero. His love, his agape, for the people were still there. Still, just as he recognized in his colleagues who were experiencing the different forms of love, it didn’t matter how much love you held for someone, something, for the innocent, helpless people…

Life takes, it destroys, and love doesn’t seem to have a chance.

“Thank you for your twenty years of service. I hope you find the freedom you had been looking for.”

P H I L A U T I A

It’s been a week.

Seven days, twenty-one hours, sixteen minutes, and thirty-four seconds since Hawks was fired (see Honorably Discharged) as a Pro Hero.

Hawks has always felt that the world moved oh so slowly behind him. It had been his wish that heroes be able to relax, laze around because society had evolved enough that criminals knew better, were treated better, and could integrate into a truly peaceful society.

It had been his dream.

But right now, he was bored.

B o r e d.

“Fuck, I don’t care,” Hawks grumbled, face smooshing into a pillow as he watched the Netflix Series Bridgerton drone on the screen. “Dump his ass.”

His apartment, it was safe to say, was a mess. There were cups, bowls, plates, and chopsticks everywhere. His hair was ruffled, stringy, held back by a hair clip he had stolen from Miruko. His beard was nearly fully grown in, and there were bags under his eyes despite the fact he was sleeping for more hours of the day than staying awake. He was sore, tired, bored.

So bored.

He didn’t think being bored was going to suck this much, going to hurt him like this.

Fuck.

“Open the damn door, bird boy!” came a sharp scream and powerful kick from the front door.

Hawks glared at the door, the tiniest of feathers he had been able to regrow, trying to pathetically open the lock on the door. A sheen layer of sweat pushed against his forehead, and Hawks grunted, trying to lift the heavy lock.

BAM.

The door swung open, forcefully kicked open by none other than Pro Hero Miruko.

“Yo!” Miruko waved, lips pulled in a fierce grin as she entered through the broken doorway with nothing but a bag of unknown items. “I figured you were here!”

“...you broke my door,” Hawks pointed out, eyes narrowed as dust and destruction danced within the air.

“You took too long,” Miruko breezed, slamming her plastic bag on the kitchen island. “It’s a fucking rats nest in here, birdbrain; I thought you were somewhat organized?”

Hawks groaned loudly, sinking further into his couch as Miruko began reorganizing his kitchen area — dumping the dirty dishes into the sink and throwing things away in fast, practiced skill. “Life is too boring, and I’m too bored to do anything about all of the mess,” Hawks exaggerates partially, hand twisting and dancing as he speaks. “Thanks for cleaning up the mess.”

“I’m not cleaning up your damn mess, birdbrain,” Miruko barks out a laugh, her hands slamming against the now, somehow, clean surface. “I’m just making my life easier!”

Hawks looked over the top of the couch with a semi impressed, semi uncaring look and shrugged.

“You seem to have a great handle over those robot limbs now,” he points out.

Sure enough, Miruko had two bionic limbs, limbs that she had finally managed to work into a fighting career. After spending two years on the sideline, relearning how to walk and then fight, she was back on the field.

She was a hero again, despite it all, unlike him.

“Damn right, I’m amazing!” Miruko preened, chest puffed, and bunny tail wagging excitedly. “But anyway, I figured your dumbass would be depressed, so I brought you some shit.”

Hawks watched with a curious gaze as Miruko quickly hopped once from where she was in the kitchen to a place on his couch, landing on Hawks' legs unintentionally.

“OW!”

“Look at what Rumi brought you,” Miruko laughed, slapping Hawks on the back as he cradled his legs. “And yes, I just referred to myself in the third person, so shush.”

Hawks grumbled, lips in a half pout, half frown.

Taking the opaque bag from Miruko, Hawks pulled out the many items in the bag.

Carrots, a KFC gift card, Korean skincare products, a movie about Miruko’s recovery process, and a 1001 Things to Do (A Book on Finding Self Love).

Hawks stares at the book.

“The perfect items for a self-care, self-love spa day,” Miruko nods, once again slapping Hawks on the back. “Some old sidekick of yours told me that you don’t know what love is, so I figured that I would help teach you the most important one! Self-love! Truly the hardest one to master, in my opinion, but damn if it isn’t a good one.”

Hawks feels transfixed almost, unable to look away from the book as Miruko slaps him on the back yet again as she moves to leave. He hears her yelling about forwarding the bill to fix his door to her, her agency would pay for the damage, and how she’s off to train with some bunny hopping boy from UA.

Opening the book, Hawks looked at the number one thing to do on the book and sighed.

#1: Look in a mirror and name five things you LOVE about yourself.

Well, it’s not like he has anything better to do.

Hawks is on number thirteen (Stand at a bridge and scream into the void about the things you love at dusk) when he realizes that maybe… he doesn’t love himself.

It is without saying that he loves people; agape, after all, is the only love type that made sense to him, but philautia, self-love, was way lost on him. Objectives 2 - 12 on the book were entertaining to do! They had Hawks going outside of his house much more than his week trapped indoors, and for the first time since the day his wings had been burnt off, his house was spotless.

But it was clear to Hawks that he didn’t feel love for himself.

Whenever he tried to convince himself that he should love himself, that there were terrific qualities in himself, he thought back to the dirty, burnt room.

“I still gotta protect their happiness!” the phantom in his mind screamed, the broken sob collected in his throat.

Hawks shivered, unable to let himself recognize the pain and hurt in the phantom's eyes, or the way that he now wished he had never done that… why had he done that?

What a mess…

The small chirping of Hawks phone interrupts his morose thoughts. He looks at the screen, eyebrows raising in slight mirth and caution as none other than his former intern was currently calling him.

“Tsukuyomi-kun!” Hawks laughs into the receiver, the weight of his past for a moment forgotten. “How are ya?!”

“Hello, Hawks-sensei,” Tokoyami’s calm tone fills Hawks' ears. “I was calling because I have a request to make.”

“Name it,” Hawks spoke immediately, slouching against the cold bars of the bridge, eyes closing as he tried to relax. “You need a letter of rec or something?”

“Nothing of the sort, actually,” Tokoyami says. “We third-year students are graduating in a few days; I was inquiring if you would attend on my behalf.”

“Wow, Tsukuyomi-kun, no need to be so formal with me!” Hawks laughed delightedly, his hands carting through his feather-like hair, “I’d love to come and watch you guys graduate! Is it true that the finger-smashing boy is the valedictorian?”

“That would be false, Midoriya-kun has nothing on Yaoyorozu-san.”

“What a bummer, you’d think he’d be first after how he helped win the war for us, huh?”

“You’ll find that Yaoyorozu-san is highly gifted and undeterred by most things,” Tokoyami sighed. For a moment, Hawks chuckled at the melancholy tone to his old intern's voice. It sounded as if he had been striving with great difficulty to reach the highest marks as well.

Hawks began speaking to his rather odd ex-intern with great curiosity with the blanket of the night surrounding him. His defenses and thoughts whittling away the more they spoke, the later it got in the morning.

“Ne, Tokoyami-kun, I have a question?”

“Concerning what?”

Hawks pauses, his brows furrowing as he looks up into the still dark sky, “Do you know how to love yourself?”

Silence.

Had it been anyone else, Hawks would have panicked at the lack of noise. Still, his already less than chatty intern typically took to not speaking much to begin with.

“Self-love is difficult,” Tokoyami finally spoke, his words slow, carefully chosen. “We humans are flawed; we all have demons. Most of the time, we only recognize and see our demons, oftentimes forgetting that being human also means being weak and at times immoral. Loving oneself is a hard task because we know ourselves better than any other. It’s a work in progress for everyone to love oneself, it's a type of love by the Ancient Greeks, but it’s not always everpresent. One must accept all flaws to love oneself, and remember that flaws don’t make you less, even if you believe otherwise.”

“...wow, I asked for a sentence answer, and you gave me a speech. Who would’ve known you were so in check with your emotions, Tokoyami!”

“You knew, I’ve already revealed this side of me before. You laughed last time too.”

Hawks finds himself home thirty minutes later, and he stares up at the ceiling, fingers drumming against his chest.

Self-love… it seems like an ever-evolving type of love, but it’s there. He knows that even if he has regrets and hardships and things he hates about himself, deep down, self-love exists and that it will exist.

Patience.

Even the fastest man in the world could demonstrate patience.

L U D U S

“What can I get for ya?”

“I have no idea honestly, do you have any recommendations?”

Hawks could say with complete honesty that he felt entirely out of place.

He was at a local bar. The bar was semi-busy today. Most young adults dressed in an arrangement of clothes, each on a different level of soberness as they cheered to this and that.

Why was he at a bar even though he was slightly uncomfortable? Well, you can blame #73 in the book for that.

(#73: Enter the first bar you find, order a drink, and flirt!)

“What type of liquor do you like? Hard or soft?”

Hawks blinked; he didn’t know.

“Hard?”

The bartender looked a bit unsure of him for a bit before nodding and turning his back to him.

Did hard liquor mean he was going to get an iced drink? He’s never consumed alcohol before.

“Here you go!” the bartender sang, slamming two shot glasses before him. “Two shots of Bacardi.”

“Oh, thank you?” Hawks tilted his head as a small cup of OJ was placed in front of him (“That’s your chaser,” the bartender had laughed). Bringing the small glass shot glass up, Hawks looked around at the throngs of people surrounding the bar and looked at you. You were cheering loudly as you raised your own shot glass in the air with a whoop and, in a fast, fluid motion, brought the shot glass to your mouth and took the liquid down easily. Hawks was definitely unimpressed now; that looked entirely too easy. “Here we go, cheers to me.”

Imitating your own actions, Hawks shot back the liquid in his shot glass, and immediately his entire body tensed.

EW.

NO.

EW.

OH GOD, NO!

Spitting out the sour, bitter, disgusting — dear god, how do you even describe this taste?! — liquid, Hawks, chugged the OJ, his lungs and throat and tongue burning from the shot.

“That was disgusting!” Hawks spat to absolutely no one, his hands covering his mouth as he stared at the other awaiting shot of ‘Bacardi.’ “Why would anyone drink that?!”

“Only madmen drink Bacardi while sober,” a voice joined in on Hawks' one-sided conversation. “Or bitches who are self-sabotagers. Never trust a hoe who says Bacardi is their favorite drink.”

Hawks turned around to see you, the girl he had regrettably underestimated for taking the shot, smiling at him with a not entirely sober look to your face.

“You look like neither. That and the way you took the shot obviously means that you had no idea what you were drinking.” Hawks continued to stare at you, completely perplexed by your casual conversation, the dress on your body that was twisted a bit, screaming wonders about your level of sobriety. You took to the empty barstool beside him with a grin and a calculating look, “You’re Hawks, right?”

“Yeah, Hawks,” he spoke, his tongue feeling weird in his mouth as he bowed stiffly in his chair. You were beautiful, fuck.

“I’m y/l/n, nice to meet you!” you speak easily, fingers grabbing at his other filled shot glass with a concerned look. “I have a feeling you shouldn’t try to take this other shot.”

“Dying of alcohol definitely isn’t in my vision of ways to go out,” Hawks grins. Pushing through his haze of awkwardness as you shift in the barstool so that you’re now facing him entirely, knees pressed to his thigh. “I’ve never actually drunk before?”

You inhale sharply, your eyes going wide as you break all levels of personal contact that’s acceptable of strangers in Japan and grab his cheeks.

“Alcohol virgin?!” you gasp, the sweet smell of some liquid drafting from your breath. “I’ll teach you everything that I know, don’t worry!”

You let go of his face, neck turning away from him, looking for the bartender to flag him down.

“Don’t you have—?”

“They can wait,” you wave at the bartender before turning back to Hawks with a confident grin on your face. “I have my favorite Pro Hero right beside me; I think they’ll understand.”

“Alright, what is it that I need to know?”

“My full name,” you breeze with a wink. “Y/l/n y/n.”

“A beautiful name.”

“I am a beautiful woman.”

Hawks chuckled good-naturedly, his head nodding in agreement, “I think we were talking about the alcohol, though, not your attraction as a female.”

“All in good time, all in good time,” you laugh, taking to the bartender and ordering two drinks, both of which were entirely foreign to Hawks.

Hawks would not consider himself to be an expert at flirting. He was attractive, a great conversationalist, and did have a type of edge to his words that often seemed playful or a warning, depending on how you looked at it. But it appeared that his natural way of speaking was more than enough to make him flirtatious enough to match the way you spoke to him.

You had introduced him to a single mixed drink, telling him that getting drunk by yourself at a bar typically wasn’t a smart thing, so keep to something with a low alcohol percentage. Just enough to make you loosen up, but not enough that you were incapable of getting home. Hawks liked the way your hand rested on his forearm. How you smiled and laughed at something to show your interest but not at everything to show that you weren’t faking your amusement at what he was saying.

You matched his every word, not backing down from his bluffs. Soon enough, Hawks felt his cheeks warm when he finally looked directly at your smiling face (he wasn’t sure if it was from the alcohol or not).

Eventually, though, the night ended, and you shimmied off the bar stool as your friends had come to collect you to leave.

“Can I get your number?” you ask, eyes mostly entirely sober as you handed him your phone. “I know you were the man who was just a bit too fast, but I think I can handle that.”

Hawks snorts, his eyes rolling in his amusement, “That was horrible.”

“I’m drunk, I have an excuse!” you exclaim with a pout that quickly turns into a giddy smile as Hawks enters his number to your phone. “Don’t worry though, once I’m sober, I’ll flirt your eyebrows clean off!”

“That sounds painful!” Hawks yells as you wave goodbye, your arms linked with a line of other girls as you leave the bar with teasing laughter and undecipherable words.

It was with you that Hawks realized that he had come to find a new type of love.

Ludus, the love of flirtation and playfulness.

Damn, who would’ve known.

P H I L I A

Hawks was having a pretty bad day.

It wasn’t anything super terrible happening, all things considered. It was a lovely day out; the sun was warm, the sky so blue, and the birds chirping. Nothing on the news to be concerned about and all his precious people were safe.

But it was still a bad day because instead of being out and about with you, his now borderline best friend/girlfriend, who he was stupidly having a crush on, he was stuck at home.

Hawks was sick.

Deliriously, stuffy nose, goopy eyed, chapped lips, and feverish sick.

You: Are you sure you’re fine????

Hawks: Im perfectly okay. Ill go with you to the park next time sorry

You: Thats not what im concerned about stupid!!!!!

Hawks: Bye have fun!

You: I knoW YOURE SICK ASSHOLE

Hawks chuckled, rereading his messages with you.

Blowing his nose for what felt like the umpteenth time, Hawks resumed the movie on the screen that you had recommended him to watch — Disney’s Chicken Little — because it reminded you of him, or something like that. The TV droned on with the movie, and Hawks found it hard to keep focused as the Sandman danced on his head and whispered in his ear.

He hadn’t noticed he had fallen asleep until a loud banging was heard on his door.

Shuffling towards the door, Hawks opened the still slightly broken door with bleary eyes and a stuffy nose.

In front of him was none other than you.

You… with a basket full of things.

“Hi!” you greeted him, pushing past Hawks easily and walking into his apartment. “You look worse than I thought you would be!”

“That's hurtful,” Hawks pouted, closing the door behind you, sneezing, then following after you. “Why are you here? I thought you w-were — achoo — going to the park?”

“I was, but we were supposed to go together to check off number 184, and I wasn’t about to go alone to complete a list meant for you!” you exclaimed, dumping the overfilled basket on the kitchen counter.

“Mm,” Hawks hummed, his voice dry and cracking as he pulled the blanket closer around him. “What’s this?”

“A get well care basket,” you say in an unmistakable like tone; you glance at him, smiling widely, and gesture dramatically to the basket. “Follow along, if you can.”

“Pfft.”

“So first, I have some sleepytime tea; I swear to the gods and back that this tea will cure you and knock you the fuck out,” you say, pulling out the thing on top of the basket and putting it to the side. “Next, we have some tissues because you obviously need them.”

“Hey!”

Hawks watched through red-rimmed eyes as you carefully and thoroughly explained what and why you had brought him. Fuzzy socks, a blanket, his favorite snacks and drinks, medicine, DVD’s to more movies you told him he had to watch, an embarrassing childhood picture of you that he had been wanting and swore he would never expose least he wants to die, more oils for his diffuser, and a signed Endeavor poster he had been wanting.

Safe to say that after he had been drugged up, eating some soup and drinking some tea on the couch, wrapped up in the blanket you had bought him, laying between your legs, Hawks was feeling much, much better. It had been hours since Hawks had coughed or sneezed, and he was talking with you about how Disney movies were being produced less and getting sort of worse with each one. The movie titan slowly losing its ground.

“Okay, it’s almost eleven pm; I have work tomorrow, you are still sick, let's pack it up!” you eventually say during a moment of comfortable silence.

“I can’t believe you have to work,” Hawks sniffled, standing up off the couch so that you could get up. “Seems like a crime.”

“It’s not so bad! Being a celebrity PR manager is a million times easier than a hero PR manager. At least we can help decide what's seen!” you laugh, helping to clean up his living room of the bags of chips and drinks.

“Sure, sure,” Hawks grins, keeping the trashcan open for you so that you could place the trash in. “Thank you.”

Walking you towards the front door, Hawks comes to the sudden and almost alarming realization that he doesn’t want you to leave. He wants you to stay. He thought this was a friendship, and it was one, a good one at that! For about a month now, he had known that there was a type of love he had for you, one of friendship.

It was called philia.

So why did he want to keep you wrapped up in a hug, to pull you close and press a gentle kiss to your forehead, to your cheek, to your lips?

“—I’ll be back tomorrow to check up on you during my lunch break,” you say, slipping on your shoes as you pull on your jacket. “If you need anything at all, call or text—”

The words on your tongue die immediately when Hawks still slightly chapped lips press against yours. The sick must that was present earlier on the day is no longer there, and you can feel heat and fire bursting from your cells as Hawks pulls away from you.

“I’m sorry,” Hawks breathes out, a small smile on his face, a daze in his eyes that tells you he definitely was not completely sorry. “I couldn’t resist anymore?”

“W-We will talk about that later!” your voice squeaks, your heart hammering in your throat because fucking Hawks kissed you. “If I-I get sick, I’ll rip out your eyebrows!”

“Will you go out with me? On a date?” Hawks continues on, leaning on the doorframe you’ve yet to pass.

“...I hate you, yes,” you warble, hands pressing against your burning face as Hawks grin grows.

“Perfect, I’ll text you,” he allows you to pass through the doorway where you feel both entirely light and giddy yet awkward and mechanical.

“Hawks, I swear, if your stupid kiss got me sick!”

“You’ll rip out my eyebrows,” Hawks laughs, waving a hand. “If you rip out my eyebrows, I demand a kiss for every hair you pluck out.”

He laughs at how he can basically see the heat rising from your ears as you squawk and run away.

Looking at #184 of his book, Hawks smiles as he crosses it out (#184: Ask out your crush!) and sighs. Philia was love between friends, but it was also, if he remembered correctly, one of affection. And it was without saying that he held a deep affection for you.

E R O S

As much as Hawks claimed he knew about the world, he was as clueless as a newborn baby when it came to the topic of love. Reasoning? Well, today marked a year of being together. It had been a year since Hawks had kissed you when he was snot-nosed kissed (you did get sick, by the way, and while you didn’t rip out his eyebrows, Hawks had kissed you plenty in apology), and then took you on a date where you went to a trampoline palace.

He was clumsily romantic. More often than not, he wasn’t actually romantic. Still, the sincere thought and emotions he put into it made his actions seem so thoughtful and sweet.

You’re not sure why you actually believed that on your year anniversary, he was going to plan something for the two of you. So the reaction he had when you showed up on the year anniversary, armed with a bouquet of flowers and a small personal gift for him, Hawks looked deeply confused.

“This is still not bad!” you exclaim, watching as Hawks attempts to redecorate his apartment from the messy bachelor vibe into something of romance. It was easier said than done, especially as your boyfriend had no decorations in his house that wasn’t fanboy or bird material.

“I didn’t realize that one year anniversaries were meant to be out and about!” Hawks yelled back, failing to nail the fairy lights onto the ceilings. “I knew you wanted to do something, but I thought it was going to be like ‘let’s go get some KFC!’ sort of thing!”

“Definitely not,” you laugh, sitting on his couch with the take out food sitting on the table. It had just arrived, and Hawks was still not accepting the lack of romance in his apartment. “But it’s okay, really Hawks! I didn’t tell you, which is entirely my fault! Come on, let's watch something together, eat, and relax!”

Hawks sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

He should have known that one year anniversaries were a big thing in dating too. They sure were in businesses; what a rookie mistake. Not satisfied with the lack of romance in his apartment but also unable to do anything more to it, Hawks sulked over to the couch and sat beside you, grabbing his dinner plate.

“Thanks, dove.”

“You’re most welcome, baby vulture. Thank you for the food!” you grin, breaking the chopsticks and digging in.

The food is eaten with a mirthful conversation, the TV playing the 100 Funniest Hero Fails playing on Youtube. Eventually, the purples and pinks of the sky became dark.

Night is here.

Hawks went from sitting right beside you to lying on the couch and having you snuggled into his stomach at some point in the night. YouTube is no longer playing Hero Compilation videos. Still, it is now instead showing a chef with a giraffe quirk demonstrating how to make your very own pancake treehouse, no clickbait!

Hawks is transfixed on you, watching the way your eyes sparkle and shine as you stare up at the screen, your lips moving as you give your side commentary, but he can’t hear a thing.

Five weeks ago, on this day, was the day that Hawks realized that the philia love he had for you had evolved once again. It had become one of eros. Romantic, passionate love. He loved you; he loves you. Anything you wanted or needed in the world, Hawks would do anything to give it to you. He had yet to tell you said realization; after all, he needed to make sure it wasn’t some fluke but found himself chickening out each time he wanted to confess.

Gliding his thumb against your cheekbone, Hawks stared adoringly at you, head tilted as you laughed at the video before glancing up at him. It was evident that you hadn’t been expecting him to be staring at you so intensely. As soon as you glanced back at the TV, you snapped right back, curiosity blazing off your gaze.

“What’s up?” you asked, hands pressing to his chest as you lift up a bit. “Do I have something on my face?”

“I love you,” Hawks whispered, the words coming out so much easier than he thought it would. “Y/l/n y/n, I love you.”

Your eyes widen significantly, your jaw dropping as your eyes grow just a bit watery.

Hawks smiles softly, knowing that for so long you had told him you loved him without a single moment where he returned the affection. It hadn’t bothered you. Obviously, you knew why he didn’t say it, but finally hearing him say it seemed to break you just a bit in the best of ways. He kisses you softly, fingers wiping away the single tear that fell.

“I love you,” he repeats.

“I love you too, Hawks,” you blubber, your smile so bright yet wobbling with your heartfelt emotions.

“Takami Keigo,” Hawks corrects. “My name is Takami Keigo.”

Hawks watches as you process his name, and a wet laugh bubbles from your throat as you nod your head, hands reaching behind his neck to pull him close for the first soul-consuming, fiery kiss of the night.

“I love you, Keigo.”

If this wasn’t eros, well, then, Hawks didn’t know what it was.

P R A G M A

two years later, valentines day

Keigo sits on the bed, fingers adjusting the tie around his neck as he stares at you doing your makeup in the bathroom. Your eyes intensely concentrated on your reflection as you painted dark red lips on yourself.

To sum up the last two years in a single, simple phrase, Keigo would say that love now made even less sense to him.

It wasn’t precisely that it made perfect sense before. Some days he still argued and wondered about how love could exist in specific scenarios. Or why, after you stole his final KFC chicken leg he was saving, he could always love you after such betrayal. It made no sense to him, but also made perfect sense, hence the complete confusion.

But it was without saying that as you twirled in your outfit in front of him, a grin plastered so large and lovingly on your features, that it made sense.

How could he not love when he had someone like you.

The walk to the restaurant was perfect; he had even taken a moment to slow dance with you when you came across some performers. Your sweet smile meant just for him made Keigo hum contently as he kissed you gently.

Dinner was amazing. The food rich and luscious, entirely to die for that had the both of you moaning about how great it was before laughing because the waitress definitely heard that. After dinner was over, you and Keigo were now waiting on desserts when he simply grabbed your left hand and slid a simple ring over a very important finger before placing a kiss on your palm.

“I know I was at one point too fast, and maybe I think I was too slow to ask this, but would you like to wake up and have chicken with me every day?” Keigo asked, watching as your face went through a million stages of understanding, processing, internalizing, accepting, and pure emotions.

The kiss was sloppy and wet, the tears streaming down your face beautifully, like diamonds in the dark sky.

It was today that Keigo unlocked the last love he ever thought he would have.

Pragma: committed, enduring love.

#hawks x reader #takami keigo x reader #hawks fluff

185 notes · View notes

mageofseven · 4 years

Note

Hi I just recently discovered your blog and I’m in love with your writing! I have a little request if you don’t mind. The brothers (and undateables I’d you want to) finding MC bruised and beaten and later discovering they got into a fight with another demon. Thank you in advance if you decide to write this!

Awww thank you so much! I might end up doing the Undateables in another post, but I'll just stick to the Brothers for this one.

And thanks for requesting 😊

TWs: violence, vague s*xual assault

Spoiler warning: 1st year spoilers in Lucifer's and vaguely in Belphie's section

Lucifer:

Was checking out the area under Diavolo's orders.

Apparently there have been some people sneaking around in the old Colosseum and normal methods to keep other demons away from the historical landmark have been futile.

That and word has made it's way that some criminals have been using the place to secretly make dealings

So when he got there, he had expected to find some such people lurking around

Instead he found MC on the ground in the center, bruised and bleeding with their arm bent in a very concerning way.

He rushed up to them, calling their name and checking them for signs of life.

Honestly, the man was having major flashbacks to the day he lost his sister.

This was exactly where Lilith fell and Lucifer had to watch his sister, all broken and in pain until Diavolo came and he had to make the deal that changed everything

The deal that eventually led to MC's existence

Yet here they were now, in exactly the same place and state and the demon couldn't help but break down for a minute with panic he tried so hard to conceal.

The human let out a groan and the man could only sigh in relief.

"MC, oh thank the Devil..."

"Luce...?"

"You'll be alright." He promised. "I'll take you over to have Simeon heal you."

Despite the internal panic and flashbacks of such a traumatic event, he still handled the situation well.

Once MC was all healed up, he asked them what happened.

Apparently, they found a note that someone had stuffed in their school bag, asking for them to meet at the Colosseum.

They thought it was weird, but curiosity had gotten the better of them so they went and were attacked while exploring the ancient building.

The demon had meant to kill her, but sensed Lucifer approaching so they dropped the human and ran for it.

Ends up getting as much info from them about the attacker as he can.

Even if MC doesn't want the demon to die for what they did, they get no say in the matter.

Because of their status as exchange student, this attack is a political issue and the consequences Lord Diavolo warned his people about originally must be put into play.

Politics aside though, Lucifer would never let any being who hurt MC get away with it.

Becomes a lot stricter with what they can and cannot do

Like, they're not even allowed to go for a walk around the block without either him or his brothers accompanying them.

Even changes up their class schedule to make sure they have at least one of his brothers with them per class and they even have to walk MC to their next one.

Any arguments about this from MC or the brothers fall on deaf ears.

He will never let anyone lay a hand on them again.

Mammon:

School day had ended and he was on his way to pick MC up from their class.

Since Lucifer decided the day they came that he was responsible for their safety, he always had to do stuff like this.

He was late today though since his teacher held him back after class.

Blah blah F on the test, blahh blah summer school, blaah blahh blaaaah. Whatever man; he wasn't listening

And because of them, he was late. So much so that when he arrived at the human's classroom, they weren't there.

Lowkey panicked.

Shit. Shit shit shit, where'd they go???

Practically runs in the halls trying to find them

Knows Lucifer will have his head for this if he can't track 'em down.

Ends up hearing some kind of ruckus in the courtyard

And finds a big group of students forming a circle and chanting "Fight!"

"Oh yell!" Is momentarily distracted from his problem and joins the group. "Fight! Fight! Fight--."

Oh shit. That's his human in the circle!

Mammon's brain just started buffering as he watched MC dodge and weave, even getting some good hits in. The second brother was actually pretty impressed.

The lower demon in the fight eventually lost his footing and fell to the ground, giving an opening for MC to give a big kick between his legs and the demon let out a shrill scream. His green skin started smoking and changed to grey as it hardened and suddenly seemed more like stone than a person.

The circle of students started cheering and Mammon's jaw practically hit the floor.

Holy shit, the human did it!

MC fell the ground, panting heavily and bruised from head to toe.

Mammon finally rushed up to them.

"Damn, MC! You're gonna give me a heart attack!"

All of a sudden, some students started running and others just quickly jumped back, revealing Lucifer and Diavolo.

....yep, he's dead.

The two older demons started asking MC questions as they caught their breath and Mammon tried to sneak away.

Lucifer grabbed his brother by his jacket, but otherwise paid him no mind as MC told their tale.

Apparently this demon that sits behind them in their Devildom History class had been giving them crap for a while; calling them names and pushing them around. Today they even started touching them in places that made them wanna break the demon's hand.

MC snapped and told them such. The demon only grinned. Honestly, he was probably waiting for them to say that.

From there, he dragged them out by their hair and the rest is rather obvious.

Diavolo had some of his men carry the demon away. Apparently, the stone-like skin is defense mechanism, essentially the equivalent of a turtle hiding in their shells for that sub-race of demon.

The prince assured MC that the demon will be dealt with and tasked Lucifer with getting them healed up.

Mammon was hung upside down from the roof for a few hours for letting this happen, but MC was patched up and okay in the end.

Leviathan:

He usually buys all of his otaku stuff off of Akuzon

But occasionally, he likes to go out and by manga at this store downtown.

It's a once in a blue moon sort of thing, but he still does it

MC felt like taking a walk so they joined him

The two explored the shop as Levi fanboyed about seemingly every other series he passed.

The otaku had already started a pile of manga he planned to buy.

He didn't even notice when MC left his side until he approached the counter to pay

Boy just assumes you bailed on him at first and sinks into self-loathing mode

Until he heard a scream from outside.

He abandoned his manga and raced out, just in time to see another demon run for it and MC leaning against the building.

Their right arm was bleeding from the holes and claw marks made into it.

The third brother started freaking out and rushed them home, even leaving his books there.

When they get back, Lucifer patches them up with a first aid kit and a little bit of a potion.

MC explains how they were shopping with Levi when all of a sudden they saw Beel outside the store waving at them

She went out to talk to him, but then suddenly, it wasn't Beel anymore.

Apparently, it was a shapeshifting demon and, since they specifically choose Beel's form to take, Lucifer assumed that they must have been watching them for a while and planning this attack. They likely chose Beel because they knew he was someone MC would let their guard around.

Levi felt like crap for letting them get hurt, but MC said it was their fault for being tricked.

Lucifer decided it was both their faults and gave them both a long lecture

Satan:

The fourth brother invited MC out for coffee

The blonde actually really likes the atmosphere of coffee shops and wanted to share it with them

The two ordered their coffee and sat at their table while talking about books. He recently read a book on artic fauna from the human world and was comparing the information he read with their own knowledge

It was a very relaxing experience like most of MC's quality with Satan.

Before the two of left, MC had to stop in the restroom.

That demon waited patiently for the human at their table, but when almost ten minutes went by, he became a bit annoyed and puzzled.

Not wanting to be rude, but also ready to leave, Satan approached the bathroom door

He paused mid knock when her heard a low growl followed by a cry from MC

Now in his demon form, the blonde kicked the door off its hinges. It wasn't locked or anything, but the man was super pissed.

Found a demon pressing MC, who had a gash in their head, against the opposite wall

'An eye for an eye' is more or less the philosophy he followed here, or rather, a head for a head.

He took the demon and slammed his head into another wall over and over again.

MC had to run up and tell him to stop after the other demon passed out.

They left the demon on the floor of the bathroom and Satan, with his arms around MC to keep them close, headed back to House of Lamentation

The human didn't want the other brothers to see them like this and worry so Satan snuck them into his room and went to get the first aid kit.

It was quiet between the two as he patched them up.

"I'm sorry for scaring you." He said as he finished with their stitches. "Seeing you hurt like that just made my blood boil. They deserved it, but you shouldn't have had to watch."

"It's okay... thank you for saving me."

The two spent the rest of the night huddled together in his room, reading and just settling down from the incident.

Asmodeus:

Shopping trip!

Asmo was a bit too enthusiastic about it, but that's part of why MC was all too willing to go

He mainly just wanted to see MC in cute outfits, but also bought a few for himself

Any self-consciousness MC might feel on her own is long gone when they spend time with him. He's always hyping them up and complimenting them and overall making them feel beautiful.

Time spent with Asmo is always a good time and well spent.

The fifth brother does actually leave their side for a bit after they found someone hot to flirt with

MC didn't mind and just let the Avatar of Lust do his thing as they continued to look through the racks.

At some point a very good looking demon approached them and started flirting with them

It became obvious that this dude was one of Asmo's demons, another demon of lust

Even with this in mind though, their attention really did make the human feel special, even if they probably said such sweet words to everyone

MC underestimated the demon, thinking that just because Asmo wasn't the aggressive sort that the demons under him wouldn't be either

Ends up following him out of the store and makes out with him against the wall of the building

They didn't understand why they were doing this, but the human's mind had been feeling foggy for a while now.

Suddenly, MC's whole body started to feel heavy and they were so dizzy that their vision was just a blur

Ends up passing out and waking up a few minutes later to Asmo crying as he stood over them and begging them to wake up

"Azzy?"

The man threw his arms around them.

Finds out that the fifth brother went looking for them when he saw that they weren't in the store anymore. He came outside just in time to see one of his underlings try to suck their soul out of their body.

As soon as they heard their superior's voice though, they dropped the human and ran.

The two went straight home and Asmo was extra clingy with them for the rest of the day.

Beelzebub:

The two of them went together to Madam Screams since they were both craving sweets.

Beel was really hungering for a cherry pit pie (though of course he planned on order other things as well) while MC was really hankering for some chocodevil cake.

The two happily got in line to pick out their treats, but MC stepped out to get a clearer view of the case with all of the treats to see if they wanted anything different instead.

Ends up getting attacked by a famished, minor demon of gluttony and slammed down on the glass case containing the sweets.

Beel jumped into gear; he changed into his demon form and threw the other demon off of them.

During the skirmish, the two ended up breaking down a wall and crushing three tables.

When the fight ended, the big guy rushed up to MC to make sure they're okay.

The human was bleeding and had a lot of glass shards embedded in their back and arms.

Though worried, the sweet boy keeps himself together and carefully takes out the bigger shards.

Rushes them home, treats forgotten.

Once home, Lucifer is the one who gets the rest of the glass out of their back and cleans up their wounds.

Beel stays by their side and lets them squeeze their hand when Luce's clean up hurts too much.

Luce gives his younger brother a lecture for all the stuff he had broken back at Madam Screams, but is surprisingly lenient with him.

The older brother didn't say it (and honestly, he should have), but he was proud of his brother for stepping up and protecting MC, but at the same time, expected nothing less from him.

Yeah, Lucifer will likely get sent the bill, but MC's safety is more important.

Belphegor:

Belphie had fallen asleep during class; no surprise there.

The rest of the students left the room when class ended, but the seventh brother continued to sleep at his desk.

MC found his sleeping face cute and didn't want to wake the demon

So instead, they hung around the classroom, waiting for the Avatar of Sloth to awake; the school day was over and the classroom wasn't going to be used for anything else so they thought there'd be no harm in hanging around.

Sadly, they were wrong.

Another student, a jerk from their Seductive Speechcraft class had waited for them to leave the classroom in order to harass them, but when they didn't come out, he came in.

Eventually had them backed up against the wall and forcing their hand up their shirt, causing the human to yelp.

He tried covering their mouth with his other hand, but MC bit them, angering the demon and leading them to putting their hands around their throat as he yelled at them.

The entire time, the minor demon never saw the Avatar of Sloth sleeping at his desk.

Big mistake.

Belphie woke up and saw the scene before him, turning into his demon form real quick.

Didn't hesitate to grab a hold of the bastard and make him let go of MC, who was now gasping for much needed air.

The seventh brother used his miasma aura to weaken the demon as he was now the one doing the choking with the lower demon.

MC covered their face and cried in their corner on the floor.

It was too similar to That Night™️ and the human was bordering on panic attack because of it.

Once the minor demon passed out, Belphie turned and saw MC crying on the floor.

He rushed up to them, but stopped once MC started screaming and begging for him to stay back.

That look in their eyes... it was the same fearful look he remembered from That Night™️

And it killed Belphie inside because he never wanted them to be scared of him ever again.

He waited for the human to calm down and, with their permission, slowly approached them.

He wanted to hug them, but was afraid that they'd just be reminded of it even more so he held back.

Surprising him, the human hugged him instead.

He held them tight for as long as they needed and started to notice the bruises forming on their neck

The two went home after that and reported the incident to Lucifer before Belphie dragged MC with him for a nap.

He chose Beel and his' room since he knew the attic would probably be too much for them right now.

Cuddled close to them and apologized for all of it. For falling asleep and leaving them defenseless. For the other demon's attack. For scarying them. Above all, that he was sorry for That Night™️

Masterlist

#obey me #obey me otome #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me mc

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succulentsunrise · 3 years

Note

Hm how about prompt 26 with Grey x Gauche please Sun 🥺💕? Thank you so much~!

26 from this prompt list! Thank you 🥰 hope you like it!! It references some events that happened in the manga, so if you haven't read up to chapter 266, beware of spoilers!

(also yes, if the title sounds familiar, it is a reference to that 😉)

Pairing: Grey x Gauche Note: SFW, fluff with small bits of hurt. ———————————————————

Truth Untold

Act 1 -

I feel like I can do anything with him, Grey thought as Gauche was carrying her on his back. To anyone else it would have looked like Gauche was carrying his double. Grey was still maintaining her disguise as him. Her heart was still racing from the battle’s success. She was in a kind of a high - even her twisted ankle didn’t feel that bad at that very moment. She and Gauche had defeated a member of the Eye of the Midnight Sun together! If her squadmate had been the type to get excited, Grey would have probably high-fived him in no time. Gauche wasn’t like that, however. He was serious and stern.

Gauche was dependable.

Soon after that, the two of them walked into a trap. It was almost laughable, if they weren’t in lethal danger! They had simply walked towards Charmy, who had been sleeping...and now they were captured. Grey panicked easily - she knew this too well. The vines that had wrapped around both of them were not even that tight, but she didn’t know what to do to slip out of them. They were sucking their magic away. She struggled uselessly against them, the previous high giving way to pure fear.

Then, that calm voice whispered to Grey.

When her mind retreated to jumble and fear, Gauche’s voice brought to her what she needed: direction. Her body obeyed before her mind even figured out what Gauche’s plan was. She trusted his plan fully. She trusted him. It wasn’t for naught - her magic and his cunning freed them from the trap. Grey landed to the ground with a small pained noise, as her twisted ankle complained about the rough landing.

Gauche’s calm voice addressed her. Grey turned to look at him, but he wasn’t looking at her. His gaze was to the side, one hand scratching the back of his neck. She hadn’t seen him do that very often. He didn’t compliment people often - perhaps that’s why. She had only seen that kind of sincerity in his eyes when he spoke of his little sister. Even if he only complimented her magic, Gauche was encouraging her. It made Grey feel rather fuzzy inside, enough to make her cheeks turn a little warm. She hadn’t expected that from Gauche of all people. She was about to smile, but something else caught her attention - smoke was coming out of her. Her disguise, her magic, was coming undone! In an instant that same old panic overwhelmed her - she wasn’t ready for Gauche to see her! What if he recognized her! She hadn’t prepared for that: it wasn’t a scenario she had practised and played out in her head yet! As the handsome features she had worn turned into her own round face, Grey hid behind her hands. She could feel her cheeks redden with embarrassment, and the knowledge made it worse. A nervous noise left her before she could stop it, only increasing her embarrassment. If only she could control this reaction!

Gauche’s and Charmy’s voices reached Grey’s ears, but she could barely concentrate on them. She peeked from between her fingers, noticing that Gauche wasn’t even looking. That eased her beating heart a little - but not much. Charmy’s clear voice came closer, trying to calm her down. It was sweet, but all Grey wanted to do was to disappear. To be someone else. If she only had mana.

At least Gauche wasn’t looking. That was a relief! - and yet - somehow - disappointing?

No, it was definitely a relief.

Act 2 -

I wonder what he thinks of me, Grey thought. The three of them were gathered around a table: Grey, Gauche and Gordon. The others were on missions or visiting the town. They had originally just eaten together, but thanks to Gordon, they were now pondering whether to play something together. Gauche had tried to withdraw as always, but they had managed to convince him to stay for one game. Grey was glad he had decided to stay. She liked to think part of it was because of her, but that was what had made her wonder in the first place - Gauche saw her as weird, right? Well, it was no good thinking about it right now. If she got embarrassed, she’d just enforce that view! How Grey wished that she could control that in any way, but that was not how it worked. She got so easily anxious...

Gordon brought cards and they began playing. It was easy enough of a game to get into. It distracted Grey from her thoughts. The objective was to get all the cards to oneself by keeping a lookout for a specific type of a card, and when it would appear, by slapping the accumulating card pile. Whoever managed to slap the pile first would get them all. Gauche was very good at it - he had excellent reflexes and a competitive playstyle. Gordon was much slower, taking his time to enjoy the game. Grey felt a little too anxious to make such quick movements. She wasn’t always sure it was the right card, and as she hesitated, Gauche managed to slap it. It went so poorly for her, that she lost all her cards. She only had one round to save herself and that was only if she managed to get a slap out. While being out of the game would be in some way a relief, Grey had to admit she was having fun. She liked watching how confidently Gauche played and how his eyes followed the way the two of them placed the cards into the pile on their turns. She didn’t want the game to be over yet. So Grey steeled herself, readying herself to best Gauche: she would get the next slap! She watched like a hawk for the next card. A round passed, another one - her hand was twitching from anticipation. She had noticed Gauche’s gaze on her. He had noticed her concentration, but there was something else as well. No, Grey shook her head, she had to keep her attention on the cards! As she thought that, Gordon placed a card on the pile. The card. Quick as lightning, Grey extended her hand, noticing that Gauche was doing the same. Their hands struck the card almost at the same time, slapping on top of each other. She could feel his strong hand on hers, more gentle than she expected - and perhaps because of that, Grey anxiously jumped up from her chair and withdrew her hand. Realizing what she had done brought red warmth to her cheeks. She quickly hid her face with her hands, not wanting the others to see that she had gotten embarrassed. She was ashamed of it. She barely managed to get words out, mumbling something about getting scared.

Grey heard Gauche let out a ‘tsk’ noise, and the chair moved. She peeked from behind her fingers to see Gauche standing up. His face was turned away from her, but she could feel the negative aura around him. He was clearly done with the game. She had done this, hadn’t she? The guilt tied her stomach in knots. She watched as Gauche began walking upstairs, looking at his own hand briefly. The one she had touched. Grey sat down to the floor and hugged her knees. Her feelings for Gauche were clear: she wanted to be close to him and she wanted him to like her. Yet, everytime, she managed to ruin it somehow. Maybe there was nothing there. Maybe even with all her knowledge gathered from observing people, maybe she was wrong this time. Maybe Gauche just tried to support her, and she was making it more than it was.

The thought gnawed at Grey’s heart.

Act 3 -

I want him to see me, Grey thought as she sat by the white bed. She felt very tired and hopeless. Gauche had gotten seriously injured in the last fight. She had healed him - according to the court healer, Owen, completely. She didn’t know what to think about that. She didn’t want to think about it. So many terrible things had happened. Even their Captain was gone - no, taken - and a lot of the members were dealing with in their own ways. Grey sighed, her gaze on Gauche. He was bound to wake up any moment now. She hoped it was true. She wanted at least someone to stay by her side. She felt a small twinge of anxiousness at the prospect of Gauche remembering what she had said to him when she had healed the wound - look at me, she had said - and moved her gaze away from him. It was true, though. He had been by her side and supported her. It was easier to do things when someone confirmed what her anxiety doubted. Gauche was the calm harbour in the sea of emotions. Even if he couldn’t erase the embarrassment or anxiety itself, he helped alleviate it. He helped deal with it.

The rustle of sheets caught Grey’s attention. Gauche had woken up. He was sitting upright, looking around him. He seemed ready to go. Grey looked at him quietly, her heart catching onto her throat. He swung his legs to the side and rose up. As he turned to leave, Grey took a light hold of his hand, nervousness beating in her chest. She watched as his gaze turned to her, surprised perhaps, angry - the storm was raging inside him this time.

“Stay,” Grey asked, looking up to him from her chair.

Gauche looked at the delicate hold of his hand. Silence fell as he simply stood there.

Two heartbeats drummed as one.

Slowly, Gauche sat down back at the bed, never breaking the gentle hold of his hand. They looked at each other. Grey could see they were both uncertain. They were both waiting, expecting - wondering. Determination built up inside of her. Yes, she wanted him to see her. Grey stood up, her gaze strangely steady. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears. It thrummed wildly.

Gauche's hold was a little stronger, as if gently pulling Grey towards him. She took a step and gently leaned forward, one hand raising to his jaw. The surprise on his face made her stomach twist and hands sweat, but then his gaze dropped lower - to her lips. Grey closed her eyes and kissed him. It was a clumsy, light meeting of lips, bringing great warmth to her face. She flushed completely red. She would have likely withdrawn, if Gauche's hand wouldn't have moved behind her neck and pulled her closer - the next kiss being as clumsy as the first one, but even better. Grey didn't want to move away from him anymore.

They had found happiness in each other's arms.

#Gauche Adlai #Grey (BC)#Greyche #black clover #ccxcc #black clover fanfiction

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kaito-is-baby · 4 years

Text

Shoto Todoroki x Reader

A little bit of help

Okay, hiii~ so... I really don't know what this is, I finished boku no hero and I started to read the manga ASAP and now I just want to give some love to my baby todoroki but this is more like... I was trying to set the ambient for my idea of a Midoriya x "useless" reader scenario but then my love for Shoto took over me and it ended up being about him so... I will write that one someday

Warnings: none, it takes place on season 1 and has no angst. Also gender neutral reader (I think...)

The first class with the great All Might had ended and you felt... stupid.

Every single one of your teammates had incredible abilities at fighting

And there you were, with a sweet gas making them fall asleep, but only if you touched them

It could have been good if they weren't much better, there was no way to touch them.

You couldn't even find the invisible girl

And everytime you tried to approach the half an half haired boy a wall of ice would appear between the two of you

No matter how fast you ran or how hard you tried you felt absolutely useless

Your teammate had to carry you all the fight and you were just a burden for your team, you knew it

You knew you were useless since the very beginning. You had been working with your grandma, recovery girl, in the school nursery this last year and you loved it, don't get me wrong

But seeing all those brave kids getting into fights to save the world, thinking about yourself saving people that way... yeah, grandma had told you lots of times that your quirk did also save people but you weren't her, your quirk wasn't really useful at healing either. Yes you could put on a sweet dream someone who was in pain and that same fluid that made them dream could heal them but it couldn't save a life, maybe an arm but not a life

You wanted to go to the battle and rescue the civilians, you wanted to calm them and cure them when they needed it the most

So you decided to take the joining exam for the UA

You still couldn't understand how you made it through, you wanted to believe that even if your gas did not affect the artificial villains your strength sure did but it was... quite difficult to believe

And your only answer was that your cute little grandma had convinced then to let you join

Of course she claims they let you in because how you threw yourself to heal every single one of the soon to be heroes on the field even altough they were your rivals

But what they wanted was for you to beat the villains not to have a great teamwork and a sweet heart oh baby you should listen to your grandma

You tried to shake that thought of your brain and enjoy your very first day as an student on the UA

You failed

"Let's use our quirks to make our phisical abilities greater" yeah, that didn't work out

Luckily for you that thing about expelling the worst calificated was a lie because you were sure that either Midoriya or you were going back home forever that day

'Things can go better tomorrow' you think but yet again you fail in your prediction

After the disastrous fight on All Might's class you had obviously stated to all of your classmates and teachers that you were, in fact, useless

But then again, you already knew you were useless and yet chose to try and become a hero

And your mind could have thought of something better, maybe ask Aizawa for some help or a nicer classmate

But your feet moved towards Todoroki

If you try to give it a rational explanation you can actually find it. He was, alongside with Bakugo, the strongest one of the class and, being honest, you were not brave enough to get even near that angry boy

So yeah... you could say you chose to speak to him because he was the best prepared but deep inside you, you knew well it was the 15 years old teenage that you, even if you deny to accept, actually were. A handsome tall boy who fitted quite well on your type, and to be honest, everyone's, had fight against you, being pretty close, trying to touch any part of his body, avoiding his attacks and trying to prevent what he was going to do... maybe it had made you develope a little crush, but it was for sure little!

So you took the opportunity when you had it right in front your eyes

He approached you just after your fight

"I hitted you with that last wall of ice right?"

Yes, yes he did, you weren't fast enought to avoid the hit but you were stubborn enough to be too close to him even although you knew he would make an ice panel

Maybe in a desperate intent, you tried to make him step back and don't throw his attack at you directly

That failed

And now you had a little hurting mark on your right leg and your right arm

But you weren't angry, you both did what you had to do to get good grades, this was a friendly competition after all

"Yes but-"

"I'm sorry I may have been too tough for a first class fight" you could tell by his face this wasn't the apologies of someone who is genuinely sorry but of someone who knows it's polite to apologise after it

"it's nothing, really, you were fighting for that 10 and so was I, it's cool"

He nodded and turned his back

"Wait! Todoroki... could I ask you... a favour? Please" your checks- No! Your whole face- was turning red now, you were not good at asking for help and even less to someone you barely knew

"Hm?" He nodded again, giving you permission to request that favour

"I'm so weak, I just can't fight, I can't fight like you or Bakugo or even Iida or Uraraka I just... I can't, I can't do anything but to heal and stay still watching how everyone loses" he kept looking straight to your eyes, truth be said, he hadn't took his eyes out of yours since you started talking but now he looked confused and even kinda angry at your statements

"And so what?" Did he took you for an idiot? He surely talked to you like if you were a 6 years old kid

"That I want to be a hero" his eyebrowns bent "and I need help, I... no one has ever really taught me how to fight, no one saw any potential for that on me and... maybe if you could... give me some basic knowledge? I could at least avoid getting hit"

Silent

Absolute silent

You only heard one thing, your heart bumping at an scarily fast race and your

Not only it was beating, your stomach ached, your skin burned and you felt stupid for asking for help so you opened your mouth to retract your words and admit that it was an stupid idea

"I don't train anyone, I have my reasons, I won't train you or teach anything"

And with that he left you, even more disappointed than before

Of course that night you could only think about leaving the heroes course

But after thinking about it you chose to keep fighting

And from that day on, you would train everyday, without any exception.

It didn't mattered that your classmates would though you were a weirdo, you kept imitating every single thing they did.

You stopped attending those classes that were not about fighting, you did not needed them as much as you needed free time on the special playground that the UA had, there you could train much better than on your small room

And one day, while your classmates were eating- something that you hadn't done since the day you started using every second on the UA for training- your body failed you, it needed a break and you wouldn't accept it so it just failed to get some rest.

You weren't able to keep your breathing and your legs weren't going to obey you anymore

So you just... felt

And without having any real strength to stand back you stood there, surrendering

You had been weeks working with no hesitation and yet you hadn't improved in the slightest

You were giving up when Todoroki tended you his hand to lift you up

"I did not want to train you because I really don't want you to get hurt by my training or to feel that I am pressing you too much" you weren't really following him "but if you are going to do that to yourself all alone then it will be better if I help you so you can, at least, improve"

Was he agreeing to train you?

"But first, go eat, second attend all your classes and then we will train"

"Yes!" You answered, ready to become a real hero

#boku no hero headcanons #boku no hero x reader #boku no hero academia #bnha fanfiction #bnha imagines #bnha insert #bnha headcanons #bnha todoroki #shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki x reader #shoto todoroki #shoto x you #boku no hero imagines

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catgirl-brain · 4 years

Photo

Here’s my English translation of Mahiru’s Voice Drama - Love is Mine I couldn’t find an English translation from anyone else, so I did it myself. I’m not super good at japanese, but I think I got the important things down. Feel free to use/post this translation wherever you like.

Mahiru: (humming)

(distant footsteps)

Mahiru: Prison guard is almost here~

Es: (footsteps) (door opens) (door shuts) Sorry to keep you waiting, Prisoner Number 6, Mahiru.

Mahiru: Ah! It’s like-

Es: Huh?

Mahiru: (giggles) It’s sort of like a date- It’s making my heart beat fast… it’s sort of thrilling!

Es: I heard Yuno say something similar, female prisoners seem to say things like that.

Mahiru: Eh? It’s super romantic, right? Thanks to you, I’m having fun every day.

Es: (sigh) It is interesting here…

Mahiru: Ah! So you agree~!

Es: Understand the situation, Mahiru. You’re in here because you’ve committed a murder, not so you can play.

Mahiru: Murder… Yeah, I don’t really understand how what I did was murder.  Es: We’re going to do an interrogation to uncover your sin, starting from now. The situation is far from being romantic.

Mahiru: Sorry, sorry… I get it.

Es: MILGRAM exists to reveal the sins of the prisoners, and make a moral decision. For that reason, let’s talk about some things.

Mahiru: Lets talk~! I get to spend time with the Prison Guard, I’m so happy!

Es: It’s no use trying to slow down my pace like that. (muttering) You prisoners are always like this…

Mahiru: What were you just talking about?

Es: It was nothing! …Let’s start the interrogation. That’s right… M-

Mahiru: Yes! I’m Mahiru Shiina, 22 years old~! Thanks for coming here to meet me!

Es: I’m the one leading this interrogation! (muttering) What is this pattern?! It’s the same as with Yuno… It’s fine… I need to calm down.

Mahiru: Okay! What about you?

Es: Huh?

Mahiru: Your name and age?

Es: …

Mahiru: Your name is…? Your age is…?

Es: Es…. I’m around 15…

Mahiru: (clasps hands) Fifteen years old! That’s young for a prison guard, isn’t it? At my age, I’m like your big sister! Come on, tell me anything!

Es: Oi… Mahiru, why am I-

Mahiru: Hey, hey what kind of name is “Es”? It doesn’t sound Japanese - where is it from?

Es: … I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. I am Es, other than that I don’t know anything. I don’t have any memories.

Mahiru: You have amnesia!? You poor thing…! You actually have it?

Es: I don’t see why you care. I don’t worry about it, it lets me concentrate on my work without having any extra thoughts or memories to distract me.

Mahiru: That’s so interesting, Prison guard! Let’s get to know your personality!

Es: My… personality? I’m…

(high pitched ringing)

Mahiru: Prison guard, what’s wrong?

Es: Uh, excuse me.

Mahiru: Are you feeling okay? That was too tough of a question, wasn’t it? Herbal tea is good for remembering- green tea especially- It activates the brain.

Es: Oh, I see… Lets try that… No! I don’t give a damn about myself right now!

Mahiru: (disappointed hum) That’s no fun.

Es: Why were you even asking me these questions?

Mahiru: But… But Prison Guard… I just wanted to have some mutual understanding. You want to know about me, so I want to know about you!

Es: Well, I suppose that’s alright.

Mahiru: Yay! In this situation, I think the first step is to understand each other. There’s a lot I want to talk about so I can know you well… Es: Hm… Does an approach like that really work?

Mahiru: Yes! If you have the courage to lay yourself bare, the other person will be able to talk to you with peace of mind. Es: Self-disclosure reciprocity… But this only works if you already have knowledge of yourself. Mahiru: Eh? Self-disclosure reciprocity..? Es: I’m gathering information so I can get to know you better. It was in this book I read. Mahiru: Haah? Prison guard reads too? “Love-Talk of 1000 Girls in Kanto” is good too! Es: …What’s that? Mahiru: Eh? You haven’t read it? It’s all about how to make love special!

Es: Make love?!

Mahiru: Uh-huh, make love! It has features on fashion, trends, and fortune-telling - things that will help you find love! It helped me to become a stronger, brighter me!

Es: (sigh) I think I misunderstood. Please forget what I said.

Mahiru: Oh, so that’s how it is! Prison guard must be interested in romance~! 15 years old is the height of puberty, after all. Is there anyone you like?

Es: I’m not very interested in that kind of thing.

Mahiru: Eh? No, no. It’s not good to say you dislike love, right? Love is like a little explosion, it’s just that you’re a little late. Even if you aren’t interested now, it’ll explode some day! Someday you’ll have a fateful encounter..!

Es: You sure speak of it well.

Mahiru: At first, you’ll deny it. I do the same, but then I feel like a girl in a shoujo manga - it’s like being in some different world~!

Es: I’m not sure… Is love really that important?

Mahiru: It’s important.

Es: (small sigh)

Mahiru: It’s important. Above all else.

Es: I see. That’s yours, prisoner number 6, Mahiru.

Mahiru: Eh? What is?

Es: Somehow, as I’ve interrogated people they’ve shown me something. What they cherish.

Mahiru: Love is something very important to me (giggles) It’s not like I was hiding it!

Es: Could it be, that your murder was derived from it?

Mahiru: (silence) It seems so… I think it was love.

Es: It looks like your love ended in death.

Mahiru: It… seems so.

Es: I see. A song produced from a murderous love affair… It’s not an unusual story.

Mahiru: No, it’s not like that. I didn’t want to kill anyone. I just- It just happened.

Es: What do you mean?

Mahiru: I won’t say. I don’t know enough about Prison Guard yet!

Es: So there has to be a mutual understanding, huh?

Mahiru: (giggles) Yeah, that sort of thing!

Es: This sure is troublesome. Oh well, do you think what you did can be forgiven, or not?

Mahiru: There’d be no point in living if I can’t be forgiven for what I’ve done. (laughs)

Es: So you could be fine living after you’ve committed a murder? You sound like a dangerous person.

Mahiru: Ah-! No, what I meant was… it’s suddenly gotten all messy… I just don’t want to kill people at all! …but… I decided to live for love.

Es: For love…

Mahiru: I know the wonderful feeling of loving someone- it’s amazing! Every day is shining and colorful! The normal scenery changes to something out of a drama or a movie!

Es: I’m not following.

Mahiru: Ehm… I don’t have a huge vocabulary, so I can’t really explain it well… But you’ll understand one day, I’m sure!

Es: I wonder…

Mahiru: Without love, my life would be dull and tasteless, so if you say love’s no good, then there’s no point in living.

Es: But your love kills people.

Mahiru: You’re so mean…

Es: Your love killed a person, but would you love someone again?

Mahiru: I want you to tell me… Is what I did unforgivable?

Es: What?

Mahiru: I wonder if I should still love someone, even if it would end up killing them.

Es: (silence)

Mahiru: Hey, Prison guard, tell me! Is it unforgivable for me to love someone?

Es: I don’t know. What you’re saying now sounds a bit different than what you were saying before.

Mahiru: Is that so… I suppose that’s true… I’m feeling strange… I don’t know…

Es: Not yet…

Mahiru: Eh?

Es: I just don’t know yet. I don’t make these decisions immediately, you have to wait.

Mahiru: (sad/surprised noise)

Es: To be honest, this is one of my weak points. That’s why, as you said, I should get to know you better.

Mahiru: Prison guard…

Es: I am your Prison Guard. I don’t make decisions on a whim because I’m not sure if you’re forgivable. I’m here to judge you, and decide whether or not to forgive you of your sins.

Mahiru: (confused noise) (excited noise) So you’ll keep watching me?

Es: Yes, that’s my job.

Mahiru: (squeals) (gets out of chair)

Es: What are you-

Mahiru: What happened..?

Es: What are you talking about?

Mahiru: You’re enthusiastic about work… I love that!

Es: Stop fooling around.

Mahiru: (panting) That’s no good, (haah), be careful! Um.. Um.. If you’re too kind to me, (leans in) you might die! Okay?

Es: I’m not trying to be kind. I don’t understand how you got that from what I said before. I can only promise you this: Rest assured, I won’t die no matter what you do.

Mahiru: (gasp)

Es: Because I’m… The Prison Guard of MILGRAM.

Mahiru: (yells) (gets up and starts to run)

(bell starts to chime, stone grinding)

Mahiru: Wh- What? Did my voice trigger a collapse?!

Es: No. It seems like the time is up on this little game. What a pain… I have no choice but to end this as usual. You all…

Mahiru: Um… Um… I’m a little nervous about singing… I’m not very good at it…

Es: You won’t be singing. Your mental landscape will appear as a song and video without any conscious input from you. Mahiru: Oh, it’ll be visible then… That’s a little ridiculous… Es: I suppose so. The intensity of the video is different for every person… It all depends on how you perceive your sins.

Mahiru: Ah…

Es: Either way, I’ll be able to see how you see the world.

Mahiru: I see, I see! It’ll be unique to me, because the world of love was so beautiful to me. Oh! Prison guard, you’ll be able to understand the amazingness of love through me!

Es: I’ll hear it, too.

Mahiru: Huh? That too?

Es: It’ll be good knowing something that you don’t. It’s necessary for me to acquire various knowledge to get to know you. That’s not bad, either.

Mahiru: (gasp) I… love how hardworking you are…

Es: Shut up!

Mahiru: It was just a little flirting…

Es: (sigh) After we’ve talked, I don’t feel as though I’ve been working very hard…

Es: Do you have anything left to ask?

Mahiru: Eh… Um… Just one!

Es: What? You still have more?

Mahiru: Um… can I call you “Es-kun?”

Es: NO COMMENT (turns around and leaves)

Es: (sighs) Prisoner number 6, Mahiru. Alright then, show me your sin.

#MILGRAM #mahiru shiina #ミルグラム #voice drama #translation

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i-simp-for-gintoki · 4 years

Text

Visiting Yuji in Tokyo

“yuji x reader where she was childhood friends with yuji and its basically the friends to lover sort of thing? and basically reader is visiting tokyo and meets up with yuji for the first time in months?? bonus if gojo and megumi are there :)”-anon

Damn its either super short or long no inbetween huh? Sorry if this isn’t exactly what you wanted! Some of the characters are little ooc (when are they not when i write them-).This turned out much much longer than it needed to be

You and Yuji have known each other since kindergarten

He’s such a sweet kid its always really fun to hang out with him

You guys play lots of video games together and are basically inseparable

Constantly reading manga or watching anime its great

Your parents disapproved of you hanging out with a dude all the time but you could care less

Why should you only be friends with your own gender? Thats so stupid

You always wondered about why yuji had such great strength and speed but he says he was just born that way

Hes just built different

Around middle school his grandpa’s health had dropped and was moved to the hospital

You did your best to make sure yuji stayed in good spirits and often visited the older itadori with him

He’s not the best at wording things but hes always there for emotional support

Maybe it was around 7th grade you noticed something was different around yuji

Like he himself hasn’t changed but whenever you look at him your heart just melts

Your thoughts or compliments seem more filled with love for him and thats when you realized you started to fall for him

Thinking the crush would go away you didn’t act much on it

Oh what a fool you were

Around 8th grade yuji had started acting kinda weird around you

He’d be much more easy to fluster and tenses up for a second if you ever make contact

You confronted him about it and cue the very awkward and middle school like confession

“I really like you!

You were so happy you confessed back and said that the only reason you didn’t before was because you feared to ruin your friendship

He says even if he somehow didn’t like you back that something like that wouldn’t effect anything

From then on you guys are such a wholesome couple

All the cuddles

No fancy dates just casual arcade or movie sort of things

His grandpa gave him a hard time but approved of your relationship

Throughout 8th grade summer and the beginning of highschool everything was going great

But a few months into highschool lots of things happened

Yuji’s grandpa had passed away, he and his friends in the exorcist(?) club had gotten hurt and after that night he had weird markings on his cheeks right below his eyes

And to top it all off now he was supposedly moving to tokyo??

“Yuji why are you moving away? My parents would gladly take you in you know”

He tells you he can’t explain why which breaks your heart

“Who are you staying with then??” he stops for a second and it pains him to lie to you. “A distant relative of mine, he works at a private school and thats where i will be going from now on.”

“But what about us?”

And so you guys decided to do a long distance relationship

Every night when you can you call and chat for hours

But thats not enough

You want to be held or hold him, you want to just cuddle or atleast be in the same room

It pains you to have a relationship through a screen and you grow respect for those who do

Trust isn’t an issue since you know yuji wouldnt even think to cheat at all

Probably doesnt even know what the word means

But after a few months you decide to go to tokyo for a few days

With the help of your parents you rent a room in a hotel and head there

Were just gonna pretend your parents are super super chill(and slightly uncaring like my parents would never let me) and lets you go to a whole city by yourself for several nights

You were super nervous and excited

Its your first time visiting a huge city like tokyo and its gonna be the first time you see yuji in months

Itadori was super excited that you were in tokyo

So excited that he got lost trying to head to the hotel you were staying at

After an extra hour you guys finally meet

He walks through the hotel lobby doors and gives a smile and a wave

In an instant you tackle him in a hug which he GLADLY hugs back in

After just holding each other for a while he decides to show you around

Hes still clearly learning the area himself but he’s very excited to show what he does know

“The place over here makes amazing sushi! Oh! And over here they sell little action figures! Oh oh and over here the steak is kinda bad but its cheap so its worth it! And-” you could only smile as he pointed in random directions with one hand, the other was busy holding yours

Buying food from a bunch of random vendors and wearing silly getups you guys take loads of pictures

Tons of hugs and cheek kisses

Yes its frowned upon to be touchy and stuff in public in japan but honestly you guys could care less

The sun was setting and you guys were currently sitting at a park munchkin on some crepes when you turn to him

“Yuji, do you think i could visit who your staying with? I’d hate to impose but i just wanna know if your in good hands”

His chewing pauses

Its not like he didn’t want you tell about jujutsu

But he doesn’t want you to be apart of that world, he wants you to stay as safe as possible with no harm ever headed your ways

With him being a vessel for sukuna gojo had told him that he and his friends could potentially be targeted

Theres a reason sorceres put up cloaks when engaging in battles and its so normal civilians can continue living in peace without the knowledge these monstrosities actually exist

“Mm its a bit sudden and he’s out on a mis-er meeting right now so maybe tomorrow?” he says

You frown, you can tell he’s lying but he wouldn’t do it without a reason

“Fine. But Yuji. Just know that if you ever feel unsafe or want to come back your more than welcome too. There will always be a spot for you at my home” you say hugging him

You both kinda forgot you were holding crepes and when you pulled away from each other laughed as the ice cream and sauce was smeared all over your shirts/jackets

He walks you back to the hotel and says goodnight with a kiss

The next two days went by in a flash

Just spending time with itadori, even if it was just sitting in silence has been the most fun youve had in months

He had showed you many places and has boughten many small trinkets for you to remember

Your phone has grown about 300 photos just from the past couple days with him

It was about midday of your final day in tokyo and so you both wanted to make the best of it

You both where sitting inside a cafe exchanging stories and just chatting when suddenly two people walked in the cafe

One was very tall and had spiked up white hair and was wearing a blindfold, and the other had spiky/messy black hair

You didn’t think much of it at first but did question the blindfold

‘A fashion choice?’

Turning your attention back to yuji you gave him a soft smile as you listened to his ramblings about a manga

“I love you” you said cutting him off

Immediately his face turned red and whatever he was just saying turned into stuttering nonsense

Before he could respond he let out a short yell when someone placed a hand on his shoulder

It was the two dudes who walked in from earlier

“So this is what you’ve been doing.” “Fushiguro! Gojo sensei!”

The shorter one who looks yuji’s age started talking about how it wasn’t good to turn his phone on mute and go out the whole day

The tall one gives you a wave

“Sorry to interrupt your date but we gotta take yuji away for a bit” he says grabbing yuji’s collar

“Wait who are you guys?” you ask and they pause to give short introductions

“Fushiguro Megumi.” “Gojo Satoru, nice to meet ya miss girlfriend” “How did you know??” Yuji says making gojo laugh

“Its pretty obvious, you didn’t do much of a job hiding it” he says pulling yuji a little bit more.

“O-Oh im L/n Y/n, nice to meet you” you say realizing you forgot to introduce yourself

As the three chatted along with each other, you sat in silence as you tried to remember where you heard gojo’s name from

‘Oh yeah, he’s the one who yuji described as his relative. Even if it was really fast since he tends to change subjects whenever i ask’

“Wait Gojo? White hair...blind fold..are you Yuji’s relative?” you ask making both of them pause

They both turn towards yuji who gave a sheepish smile

“Thats me, im his mothers little cousin” Gojo said, a very quick and random asspull

“So why does he call you Gojo-sensei instead of uncle…Satoru?” “Well if im his moms cousin that would make me his cousin once removed wouldn’t it? And he calls me sensei since im a teacher at a school he goes to”

“And what about you?” you ask the other boy

“A classmate.” he says in a very short and uninterested tone

“Welp lets go” Gojo says dragging yuji but he quickly resists

“Wait wait! Sensei can i please stay? Today is her last day here and i don’t know when i will be able to see her again”

The teacher and student stares at each other for a long time

You have literally no clue what the blindfolded man could but thinking its so hard to read him

Then again you just met him so

Gojo sighs and lets go of yuji

“Just this once, and only because im the greatest sensei you’ve ever had. Lets go megumi. See ya miss girlfriend” gojo says walking away with a wave

Megumi looks surprised but follows him “really?” “Yeah yeah its fine, its only a couple of grade 3’s anywa…” as their voices faded when they left the building you gave yuji a look

“Are you going to get in trouble?” “im probably going to die in training…” “huh?” “nothin”

The rest of the day you guys hang out and its mmm

Yuji would be such a good boyfriend hes so wholesome

When its time for you to part he give you a big hug, kiss and ‘i love you’

You do the same and tear up a bit

With one final photo you head back to your home town

You make it a mission to visit tokyo more often and yuji tries to visit you whenever he can from then on

#itadori yuji x reader #itadori yuji #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #i swear if the tags dont work imma be really annoyed lmao #jjk x reader

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mrsmarymorstan · 3 years

Text

Anime Tag Game

I was tagged by @nokaru !

Get to know our animanga fandom mutuals/followers better?

How did you find out about anime?

I was born in 1994, it was pretty hard to ignore what with Pokémon, Cardcaptor Sakura, Yu-Gi-Oh and Digimon everywhere. But I guess Ghibli stuff was the first things I watched with the full knowledge that it was Anime? I got them out of my school Library and made my way through whatever we had that was available =)

What's your favorite anime?

Film: Your Name

Children's: Pui Pui Molcar

Nostalgia: Cardcaptor Sakura

Fruits Basket is my favourite MANGA but as such it's definetly up there with anime, but I wanna give "Appare Ranman" a shout out as an anime because it's Original and the Dub contains ridiculous cowboy accents and I fuckin' love that. Let the texans be texans!!!

Do you have a favorite J-music/K-pop group/singer?

RADWIMPS released a new album/soundtrack like three days ago and I've already listened to it twice.

When is your bday? And how old are you?

I'm turning 28 in May but honestly I'm just writing off most of my life until my health returns to where it was age 23 lol

Currently, what is your favorite fandom anime?

I mean, Fruits Basket is pretty great because there's a decent amount of Meta:Crack:Shipping ratio? And it's easy to block and ignore people who make things shit without your entire feed disappearing lol

My Discord Group has been watching Sailor Moon together on Friday Nights for the last year-ish though and I think that specific group is my favourite anime fandom right now because of all our in-jokes and not caring if something is GOOD just so long as it's FUN!

(When your best friends a guy, and you just learnt he's Bi that's Fiore!)

Despite the ups and downs of Tumblr, what motivates you to stay here today and do your best?

"So why stay? Why set yourself up for more failure? For more pain? Also easy -- because we don't know how to do anything else. So why stay? Why open yourself up to all the bad you've tried to leave behind? 'The only variable you can control is yourself'. That's why you stay. You stay for a second chance." - Stephanie Brown, Batgirl (2009)

I was born in the hole and I'll DIE in this hole mother fucker! 10 years and counting.

Finally, create yourself in this picrew:

愛らしいキャラクターメーカーHi! Please have fun with my picrew! / 楽しんでください! There's a lot to do and to customize: You can move a lot of items (with the arrows icon), cPICREW

This is significantly more Femme than me i feel but thank you OP for including headscarves and hearing-aids! And for letting me include my surgery scar B)

My hair isn't ACTUALLY green but it WOULD be if I had hands that worked and/or lots of money to pay a hairdresser.

I tag @lesbiankiliel and anyone else who wants to have a go =D

#morstan meta #tag game #anime

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melodyalanaroster · 3 years

Text

To answer some Fanfic Questions...

So, this is my response to @broxklynn‘s post... I decided to make this its own post... So that It can be properly answered.

1. How and why did you start to write? Is there some kind of story behind it?

I started writing in general when I was in elementary school... Back when I just had a Platform 9 3/4 journal, not many friends, recess, and a desire to immerse myself in the world of Harry Potter. I enjoyed writing, and even joined the Writer’s Club in High School (but I eventually left to join Anime Club and Divergent Thinking Society). As for writing MCL fanfiction, I began writing Sam’s and Alana’s stories as early as when I first got into the fandom, back in 2013. Alana’s story started out as “A Fresh Start”, had a one shot called “When I Wake”, then turned into “Let The Dawn Be Broken”, and is now “The Melancholy Of Melody Alana Roster”. The final product barely has any hints of the first 3... In fact, Sam’s story, “Fighting Darkness”, has been completely debunked due to what I’ve decided to canonize in “The Melancholy Of Melody Alana Roster”. Writing MCL fanfiction has been a major help in distracting me from the depression that was caused by family issues, severe abuse, Stockholm Syndrome, my mom’s disease and her death, as well as working at several shitty jobs. Writing has helped me escape reality and keep myself sane enough to not be a black hole of hate, anger, and sadness to my friends and boyfriend.

2. What do you struggle the most with your writing?

There are 2 major things I struggle with... 1 is Timing. I often set deadlines for myself that I never meet and it makes me so frustrated that I miss them... There are currently things in my drafts that were meant to be “Holiday Specials” for Valentine’s Day and Halloween 2020 that are still unfinished... It makes me feel like I’m letting my readers down, when its more of me letting myself down... The other thing is Inspiration. Because I hate my job, I often think about Alana’s story in an effort to not be completely consumed by the fact that I do hate my work... Due to that, I often come up with ideas for my story that I think are FANTASTIC for my story... But, by the time I get home, I’m either in too much pain or too tired to write, or I’ve forgotten the ideas...

3. What is your favorite genre to write?

I love writing Romance with a bit of Slice of Life and a hint of Action/Adventure...

4. Slowburn or “Flame”/PWP?

Slow burn any day.

5. How do you overcome writer’s block?

If I absolutely can’t write... I work on other stuff I need to do... Typically, something around the house, or something online I need to do... I also look for cool stuff to add to wish lists... I’ll occasionally play videogames or read comic books... In an effort to subvert writer’s block, I like having multiple chapters in my drafts at once. If I’m not in the mood to work on one chapter, I can work on a different one.

6. What kind of thing you dislike the most, when reading a fanfiction? (for example: particular plot, grammar mistakes)

One thing that makes me upset (and it makes me madder when I do this) is misspelling... Especially when it looks like its almost blatant... You have autocorrect, USE IT! Or when a fanfic is so awful, yet the author acts like their work is a gift from god... I don’t mind a “bad” fanfiction... Hell, the concept of “My Immortal” is so bad that its hilarious... But Fifty Shades did a lot of damage and E.L. James acts like she’s bigger than Jesus... Seriously, she wrote Twilight fanfiction, changed some minor details and names, people who have no knowledge of BDSM ate it up, and she acts like she’s a “Sex and Relationship Guru”...

7. What’s the biggest issue for you, when writing a Beemoov fanfiction?

The biggest issue for me is finding out when to allow for Beemoov’s writing and placement to take place in my story. I don’t like a lot of the events of UL and LL, so I’m often finding myself in a position where I have to watch video playthroughs and go “Okay, how can I omit this character, but keep this scene?”. I’ve had to do that A LOT with Alexy and Rosalaya.... Although, to a certain extent, I’ll often cut their scenes out altogether. I really hate what Beemoov did to them. They were great characters in HSL, but became utter shit in UL and stayed shit in LL. To make up for Beemoov’s writing style, I’ve created my own characters, added in old characters (like Kentin and Armin), added in bits from the manga (like Viktor, Severina and their fathers), and gone off on my own storyline. The Melancholy Of Melody Alana Roster is close to MCL at times, but often veers off onto its own road.

8. Have you ever created a character based on person in real life? (celebrity, someone that you know, etc)

YES!!! A LOT of characters in my story are based on real people! Alana’s step-father, Nate Films, is closely based on Nathan Fillion. A lot of her family members are based on members of my own family, just changed a bit to fit the story. Lynne Roster, Alana’s mom, is what I had always dreamed my own mom would be... Hell, Alana’s cat, Sylvester, is based on my own childhood cat, Luna.

9. How do you feel about your own characters? Do you think of them as your babies or have rather love-hate relationship with them? (And, do you have favorite one?)

I love most of my characters. I do hate 3 in particular... But, you’re supposed to hate, or at least not respect, them... That’s why I poured my hatred into them... Those 3 are Carol, Kai and Azrael. Carol has aspects of my abuser in her. You’ll see more of her when I finally post the HSL related chapters... And understand what I mean... Kai is based on one of my real life cousins that I’ve not been happy with for years (the one who my bf has deemed “the family failure”). You mainly see him in the Cousin Mels chapters, and in the Christmas Special... Azrael is the one who is seen the most in the UL chapters, and she is a main adversary for Alana. She is the one who broke her the most, the one who ended Alana’s relationship with Nathaniel, the one who truly traumatized her. As for ones I love... The one I love the most is Alana... I know, she’s a reflection of me, so that’s kind of vain... But, she’s a part of me. When I do finish her story and am at the point where I need to say “Goodbye”, it will hurt....

10. Enemies-to-lovers or friends/bestfriends-to lovers?

Definitely friends/best friends to lovers. I also like toying with what happens when best friends turn to lovers, but circumstance parts them and one moves on...

11. Is it easy for you to get inside your character’s head? Can you empathize with them? Is there’s some similarities between you and your main character?

It is VERY easy for me to get into Alana’s head... Like I said in #9, she is a reflection of me. She looks and acts like how I’d like to in a lot of situations... Her life is more interesting, traumatized, and more well off than mine... But, she is still me in major ways...

12. Who has been the biggest supporter of your writing?

Definitely my boyfriend. He doesn’t really understand the game itself... But, he likes how happy it makes me and he respects how much of my heart, soul, blood, sweat and tears that I’ve poured into writing my story. He loves listening to me read passages from it to him while I’m working. He gives me advice and his opinion is highly valued... My family knows I’m writing a large story, and have seen some of the images that I’ve gotten commissioned, but they don’t really know or care about the game. They do respect the fact that I am writing. They love the fact that I’m slightly following in my mom’s footsteps in that regard (she wrote 3 books and several poems). My online friends have been very supportive as well! I’m constantly updating them on what I’ve worked on each day in my Discord Server and the words of encouragement always help.

13. How do you handle criticism?

Not well. Due to the abuse and family issues mentioned in #1, for a good amount of my life, I’ve gotten nothing but harsh criticism... So, now that I’m away from all that, at 26 years old, I’m just now getting to a point where I’m starting to take it better... But, I’ve got a long way to go.

14. Do you like giving your characters trauma? Why/why not?

I hate sounding like a sadist... But, I’m going to anyway, so fuck it... Yes. I have done awful things to Alana over the years. In A Fresh Start, she got sexually assaulted and ostracized. In When I Wake, she gets into a car crash, put into a coma, and in her dream state murdered by Francis in front of Nathaniel. In Let The Dawn Be Broken, the plan was for her to end a war. In “The Melancholy of Melody Alana Roster”, her childhood cat dies, her mom gets sick, she gets abused by Carol, her best friends get ripped away from her for a bit, she gets sent to a country halfway around the world alone, she gets assaulted and ultimately turned into a weapon of mass destruction.... I’ve even thought of killing her mom off at one point... But decided against it...

Now, granted, A Fresh Start and Let The Dawn Be Broken never saw completion, but happy endings were planned for them...

I do this, all while giving Alana happy endings in each story because “If Alana can go through utter hell and make it through, then so can I.”... I know, I’m “god” in that regard and I can control how Alana’s life is.... But, the fact that in my writing, she ends up standing tall, happy, with everything she wants, after everything she goes through does make me feel better....

15. Are you proud of yourself? When you look at first piece you wrote and compare it to the latest one?

Yes. If you look at A Fresh Start, you can tell it was written by someone fresh out of High School. There’s no real depth to it. Let The Dawn Be Broken isn’t much better... But, The Melancholy of Melody Alana Roster has become my magnum opus. It is the largest piece I have EVER written, and will probably remain the largest piece I write. I am very proud of what I have created... And when its last word is written, and I am ready to get it made for it’s place on my shelf, I will feel very bittersweet about it... That being said, my original plan for a sequel involving Nathaniel’s and Alana’s daughter, Aurora, has been discarded. I don’t believe Aurora could ever have as much of my heart that her parents do...

And there you have it! Some insight into my world, writing, and history!

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morimakesfanart · 3 years

Text

Sindria’s Prohpet 06

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

**major manga spoilers **partial nudity

When we entered the hotel, the staff looked nervous. At least they recognized King Sinbad this time. Everyone knew about the battle at this point, and some of us had bandages, so there were no questions about our appearance.

Some mild pleasantries were shared while they secured their normal rooms. Ja'far added, "We'll be booking two more rooms as well. Both with 2 beds." "Make that three rooms. Two singles, and one double," Sinbad corrected confidently. At Ja'far's questioning look he explained, "Mori deserves a room to herself, and we can't ask Morgiana to-." "I don't mind sharing a room with Morgiana," I cut in. It might not be my money, but it still felt like a waste. "I insist." His smile was unwavering, and being an actual King, Sinbad got his way -not that either of us understood why I needed my own room. I decided not to look a gifted horse in the mouth. It was only going to be for one night anyway. A group of maids came to escort us to our rooms. Masrur was with the others and would be able to get them in when they arrived. Before we started walking, Ja'far turn to me. "Mori, you can give them your coat now so they can start cleaning it." He had a good idea -in theory. Part of me was surprised that was something the staff of a hotel would do, but I figured he wouldn't have suggested it if it wasn't possible. All the same, "I'd rather wait until I get to the room." "They will take good care of it and will return it to you." Ja'far must have caught my nerves and misinterpreted. Again words escaped me, so I used my actions. I grabbed the collar of my hoodie with one hand and the zipper tab with the other. I unzipped my hoodie to the bottom of my ribcage. Nothing slipped out, but I was undeniably not wearing anything underneath. "M-my lady!” Ja'far stammered. The maids were equally shocked. Sinbad had that sparkle in his eye. I regretted all my life decisions. As a demi-ace I often forget that some people experience sexual attraction just because. I zipped my hoodie back up quickly and repeated, "I'd rather wait until I get to the room."

There was the absolute shortest silence as Ja'far calculated what to do. He turned to one of the maids and requested a change of clothes to be delivered to my room. I guess having money really can buy any service you want. After the maid ran off, Ja'far apologized for not accepting my 'no' the first time, but still reprimanded me for not acting with better manners; he wasn't wrong. My shame lead me to the back of the pack as we started walking. For the first minute we walked in silence. Then the waves began to pick up. The injured dungeon capturer joined me. "You know, Mori," Sinbad still looked tired, but his smile shown like gold, "I had thought that metal was a small decoration. Is it a magic item? I've never seen clothes stitch back together like that." "What?" Zippers weren't invented until the 1800's, and Magi seems to start at our equivalent of early AD to maybe the 1500's depending on the region, plus fantasy stuff -all pre-industrial revolution. This world didn't have clocks let alone the manufacturing technology to make a zipper...yet. "Oh right." I slowed down a bit and put some space between us and Ja'far with the maids. The king matched my pace. I explained about the interlocking teeth, and demonstrated a few times (but no more than 3in/7.6cm) before fully zipping back up. I ended with, "This is nothing. You wouldn't believe the technology I had back home." Sinbad had a look about him; he was definitely plotting. "Would you tell me about your home sometime?" Again my knowledge was the most valuable thing about me. Ja'far glanced back at his King. He knew what his master was planning, and so did I.

"I don't know, King Sinbad." I played coy. "Why should I tell you something so valuable for free?" He played along, and let his shoulders drop in fake disappointment. "So you still think I'm a scoundrel? I'm even paying for all of your expenses." I hummed. "As I remember it, you agreed to supply those things in exchange for learning my name and my predictions to help save Balbadd." He didn't look like he had been caught in the act. This was definitely being used as an excuse to bring up going to Sindria again. And this time I wasn't nervous. I continued, "I did my part. Don't tell me you want to change the terms now that you won't be getting anything else out of it- like a scoundrel would," ending with a teasing tone. He directed all his charms at me. "What if I want to make a totally new agreement?" It should be illegal for this man to smile while making eye contact. "Have you given it more thought? Coming with me, and becoming the Prophet of Sindria?" Bingo "I have." I couldn't hide my smile if I tried, so I broke eye contact and watched those in front of us. "But I won't make my final decision until I hear what you plan on offering in return." The dust had barely started to settle in Balbadd, yet the two of us were already trying to make good on the seeds we planted when we first met. We both wanted the same thing -even our waves were flowing together. "Oh?" Sinbad was being as playfully as I was. I felt his hand hit at my elbow then slide down my arm until he got to my hand. His fingers curled around mine and he brought my knuckles up towards his lips. My eyes followed our connected hands; the sight lead me back to his eyes. As soon as our eyes met he stopped us walking -putting all of my attention on him- and said, "I promise as the King of Sindria, if you bless us with your prophecies, you will want for nothing." Did he really need to use seduction whenever he wanted something from a perceived woman? It was affective and heartless. Since I knew his character so well I decided to view it as proof that I held value to him. I know how to control my expression when I need to, but I can't seem to keep from blushing when Sinbad is involved. I answered him with a smile, "What more could I ask for, my King?”

Sinbad's offer was about what I had anticipated. I'd be supplied with housing and food, and if I asked for something he'd get it for me as long as it was within reason. It would be like being a child living off of their parents with no disposable income of their own -and I wanted to be able to live as an independent adult. When my 'prophecies' run out some time in the next two to five years, and I loose my worth to him, how will I survive? It was too early to push for more. I had time to figure it out. At least, I'd have two years of guaranteed security. Sinbad's smile went from controlled flirty to prideful as he got what he was after. "Now you really are MY Beautiful Prophet." His grip tightened on my hand and he got us walking again. He seemed lighter on his feet as he guided me hand in hand. My free left hand flew to my face. I couldn't tell which of us I was more embarrassed for. I needed something else to focus on if I was going to survive his flirting. "I don't know how you're standing right now with all of your injuries -let alone flirting so hard." He laughed at my reaction. "Are you worried about me?" "Of course." I kept my eyes trained on the people in front of us. His blood was still on my clothes. It hadn't even been a day since he got those injuries, and yet I could feel through the bandages that the hole made by the ice spear was gone. "You literally couldn't stand on your own earlier. You may have mastered multiple Djinns, but you're still human." "If you're that worried about me, perhaps you'd like to look after me yourself." He pulled my hand closer to him again and of course the rest of me came with it. My shoulder bumped against his arm. He easily countered my attempt to damped the mood. He was definitely too smooth. "Watching you sleep does not sound like a good use of my time." I made a point of denying his risque implications. The idea of personally making sure he rested wasn't bad -I was into domestic stuff like that- but he obviously meant it in the most flirty and perverted way possible. Sinbad gave one last attempt to seduce me. "Since you're finally on my side; I was hoping we could get to know each other better." He had to be in pain with those injuries -even with magical treatment. So even if I ever was interested in a one-night-stand it definitely wouldn't be with someone in his condition. I removed my hand from his and put more space back between us. "We'll have plenty of time to talk later." Sinbad still had a playful tone but it was softer. "Is this another prophecy?" At least he knew how to take a hint. I answered without looking at him, "Yes, actually." He accepted my 'no,' so I felt like rewarding his good behavior. "Starting tomorrow afternoon we'll have plenty of time to talk." Sinbad was smart; he'd remember what I told him the previous day. The Kou Fleet would be arriving by this time tomorrow. There would be plenty of time to talk on the ship to Sindria. I was grateful that King Sinbad let me end the conversation. He walked next to me silently the rest of the way. It was strangely comfortable to have him right there. The calmer waves were nice too. I was dropped off at my room first and asked if there was anything else I needed or wanted besides the change of clothes that was on it's way. Sinbad was already trying to prove that I would "want for nothing." It would be better for me to accept the offer as a show of faith. After thinking it over for a moment, I asked for writing supplies. --- My room had multiple windows that let in a lot of natural sunlight during the day. There was a large bed with a canopy. Everything was covered in ornate patterns. It was a beautiful room. I might be more of a character artist than a background artist, but if I had the materials I'd be using the room as reference. Some maids showed up not long after I had finished looking around the space. They delivered the promised clothes, and 6 blank scrolls, a cloth pull-string bag, a few quills, a few bottles of ink, a cleaning clothe and a bottle for water. It was far more than I expected. I went behind the half wall and passed them all of the dirty clothes I had on. Instead of putting the new clothes on right away, I decided to wash up in the room's bathroom. Given the historical setting I really wasn't expecting much, but god bless anime contrivance. Sure, there wasn't running water, and I still had to use a chamber pot, but the soaps, conditioner and lotions provided were practically modern. India might have had the start of modern shampoo 3000 some years ago, but that wouldn't hold a candle to this. I had to be frugal with the water since I only had one large pot of it, but I managed to achieve a near normal level of clean. I caught my reflection in a mirror I only just noticed. Was this wish-fulfillment? Or just anime? My proportions felt the same, and that was definitely my bone structure. But seeing my breasts have some lift without a bra on was weird. I even ran around earlier without these lumps painfully bouncing around. It was unsettling, but extremely convenient. This couldn't be real life. Maybe I was in a self-indulgent fanfiction. I laughed at the thought. I shouldn't stand around naked. It was time to put on my new clothes. As someone who grew up in the preforming arts, and did historical reenacting (gov funded & SCA), I knew I could figure out how to put on whatever they had supplied me -I just wouldn't necessarily know the proper names for things. There was a white tunic, an over skirt, and a long cloth that reminded me of a cloth belt more than a decorative sash. They probably got me such nice things because I was a guest of a King. The tunic was tight in the usual places though. I didn't have any pins, so I had to leave the top unfastened. When tying the belt it pulled the front together more so the makeshift v-neck wasn't as exposing at least. The skirt was too long so I had to fold the top. If it wasn't for the cloth belt securing both tightly to my waist none of it would have fit. When I looked in the mirror I couldn't shake the feeling that an up-do would compliment the outfit. Luckily, I know how to put my hair in a bun with nothing to hold it. It wouldn't stay if I ran around, but I foresaw a lot of sitting down in my future so that wasn't a problem. My flip-flops didn't exactly complete the look, but whatever. Staring at my reflection gave me an odd feeling. I had worn similar enough clothes before as a reenactor, but I wasn't reenacting or dressing up for the fun of it. Clothes like these were going to become my new normal. And if I wanted my original clothes to last, I'd have to pack them away and never wear them again. I wasn't ready to visually discard my home yet. I felt tears forming. The Balbadd arc was technically over, but that didn't mean I had time to mourn yet. This wasn't just mourning my home. Thinking about my original clothes brought up the memory of Sinbad collapsing and bleeding on me which lead to the memory of people bleeding out on the street. If only I had acted sooner. If only I hadn't taken as long to accept that I'm here and should live in the present. I vowed to not allow anything like this to happen again. I started thinking about the future. It was easier than mourning. In the manga it states that the time between the end of the Balbadd arc and when King Sinbad returns from visiting the Kou Empire is six months, and that that was four months since the last time Alibaba saw the king. I couldn't explain it, but I could feel that fate would flow like in the manga instead of the anime in at least this aspect. Knowing I was going to be basically useless as a prophet for six months didn't sit well with me. I needed to think hard about the future and what I could do to change it -as well as what I shouldn't say. I had already promised that I would explain about the 2 times the world would almost be destroyed. The second time was Sinbad's fault. Could I really tell him this early that he would choose to destroy the world in the pursuit of his own greed? I didn't think so -especially not with David practically watching everything Sinbad does. There were roughly two years until the dark spot would form in Mognostadt, and Aladdin would agree to tell all of the leaders the story of the previous world. It was hearing that story paired with his savior/god complex and greed that sent Sinbad down the path of using David, and breaking into the Sacred Palace. There was a chance to prevent Aladdin from telling that story, but if I couldn't then I'd need to influence Sinbad enough that he wouldn't make the same decisions. I'd have 2 months to try to bond with Sinbad before he'd leave for the Kou Empire. Would it be worth the risk to try to go with him? Only 2 years until the turning point isn't a lot of time. The memory of Sinbad calling me "amazing" made me think that I had a chance to become someone he'd trust. At least I had already been making some kind of progress on Plan B. Plan A was making sure that Sinbad and co would arrive at Mognostadt before Aladdin would make the deal with Kouen. Depending on how early they got there, they might have to deal with the Reim's airships and bombs. Reim might have decided to join the Seven Seas Alliance right before the battle, but the Reim technology had caught everyone off guard. I actually knew how blimps and those explosives worked. Hell, with the magicians working in Sindria, all they'd need would be the knowledge of how the natural world works and they'd be able to exploit it much better than Reim by combining science with their magic. I had been a teacher for six years, a draftsman in tech for four years, and grew up in a science household. so I knew I had what was needed to bring this world into the modern era before Sinbad would in the manga. But should I do it? Sinbad had seemed interested in the technology of my world when I explained zippers. I could probably sell some of my knowledge. Then I'd be able to save up, so I'd be able to survive after running out of prophecies. I pulled out a scroll and made some test marks. Where would I start explaining the science behind blimps? How air isn't one thing? Would it be worth explaining to not use helium since it's flammable? Do I bother explaining the periodic table of elements? The affects heat has on air currents and weather? What about the flight mechanics of bird wings to make gliders or planes? I'd make it easy to understand later. For now I would write as much as I could remember. I left blank spaces here and there to go back to so I could fill in whatever I'd forgotten -I definitely didn't leave enough space in a few spots. I also made many diagrams. Isekai, or anime magic? Whatever it was, I adjusted much faster to using a quill pen than I anticipated. I had experimented with dip pens before and even made my own out of bamboo for a class, but I was never this fast or clean. The ink was slow to dry, so I let the scrolls hang off the table as I progressed along it. When I got stuck on how to explain something, I switched scrolls and wrote down everything that had happened and changed since I was Isekaied. It would help me figure out how things might change in the future. I didn't write down anything about the future directly just in case. This also gave me an excuse to draw for the first time in days. Since I was Isekaied 4 days ago, 2020 October 3rd, that meant it would be the 7th back home. I was missing all of the October art challenges. "'Remember Oct 3rd.'" I couldn't help but laugh. Fullmetal Alchemist had been a major hyper fixation for me back in middle school when it first came to the states. I even had 2 state alchemist pocket watches with that exact phrase etched on the inside. Now that phrase had a whole new meaning for me. I made a note to recreate all of my favorite stories if I could find the time -or at least write down as much as I could remember. I switched to writing about weather patterns.

The longer I wrote the easier it got. It still took a while with my poor night vision, but eventually my eyes did adjust to the light. I was on a roll or 4 (scroll pun). These scrolls were like a science fever dream. I even made one on biology and atoms and stuff. *Knock knock* I was surprised that someone was visiting so late. But then I could see the door very easily from the desk. I quickly turned to look at the windows. Sure enough, I had done an all-nighter. That would explain my growing headache. Maids were at the door. They returned my clothes. Most of the blood was out of the hoodie, but there were still a few spots along the seams where the stains didn't fully fade. You wouldn't see them unless you were looking for them though. The maids also told me that King Sinbad had a large breakfast prepared for everyone. I wanted to go -really- but the Kou fleet was coming and I wanted to pack ahead of time. I asked that they send my apologies and requested food be brought to me instead. My hands were shaking. Was it emotional or just physical exhaustion? I hadn't slept for 2 days in a row. I packed my clothes while I waited for the scrolls to dry more. It was nearly mid morning by the time the ink dried so I could finish. I left the room with everything I owned. I didn't plan on coming back. I couldn't find anyone until I left and saw Morgiana helping give out food. She let me know that everyone else was already at the Palace. I had been afraid that might be the case. I didn't know if I'd be allowed in, but I made my way there.

#Sindria's prophet #magi prophet fanfic #magi sinbad #king sinbad #sinbad x oc #sinbadxoc #lude #partial nudity #i'll sexualize myself if i want to #this is my self indulgent self insert fanfic #excessive flirting #sinbad magi

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