#found out from a shitty ad too :p

[kaywavy]

found out the song from [S] mspa reader: mental breakdown isn’t an original homestuck song and now i’m sad

[biblicallyaccuratemeat]

A Firm Hand

MDNI!!!

A/N: I posted this on ao3 a little bit ago, so I figure why not post it here too! Beta read by @teaflavoredwitch Bucky Barnes x female reader, past Steve Rogers x reader implied/referenced, cheating, alcohol, kind of dub con if you squint, p in v sex, dom!Bucky, protective Bucky, dirty talk, kitchen sex, spanking, fingering, drunk sex, size kink, friends to lovers, angst and porn, shamelessly self-indulgent

Word Count: 5.3k

Steve Rogers is a jackass.

Captain fucking America, mister cherry pie and morals, was a self-righteous prick. Bucky had never felt more pissed off at Steve in his one hundred plus years of living than he does right now. You curled up in his bed, bawling your eyes out and practically chugging some cheap magnum bottle of whiskey. 

Steve, who apparently didn’t believe in too much of a good thing, when he decided to stick his patriotic dick in Sharon Carter of all people. Of course, you found out. Steve was a terrible liar despite having the balls to actually cheat on you. You don’t know why you immediately go to Bucky, but you do. In the year you’ve been dating Steve, you became rapidly closer with the former Winter Soldier. Perhaps it was the forced proximity, or maybe you were just kindred spirits.

Bucky, of course, falls for you. Hard and fast like an idiot. Forced to pine after his best friend’s girl as if his life wasn’t already a fucking sob story. Always the dutiful friend, listening to you vent about the pitfalls of your relationship with Steve and trying to offer sound advice. Bucky learns to tame the green eyed monster inside him, finding contentment as your friend and confidant. 

When you show up on his doorstep at eight o’clock on a Saturday night, he knows Steve fucked up. He knows it without you even having to say a word, because he knew this would happen. He knew, on some level, that Steve didn’t deserve you. Not that Bucky deserved you either, god knows he was even less deserving. But you went to him, so that has to mean something, right?

The intensifying of your sobs pull Bucky out of his reverie, head snapping in your direction again. Some commercial blares on his shitty little TV in the corner of his bedroom, Even the Nights Are Better playing in the background on some allergy medicine ad. 

“T-this was our song!” You wail, burying your face in a pillow as your body shudders with the force of your sobs. The bottle of whiskey remains clutched in your hand. If it weren’t for your inconsolable state, Bucky might’ve been impressed and slightly turned on at the way you chug the whiskey. A woman after his own heart.

Bucky grimaces, perched next to you, stock still, “Okay, dollface, I think that’s enough whiskey.”

He feels awkward and stilted, like his skin is on too fucking tight and the room is too warm. He feels way too self-aware, he’s tuned in to every little sniffle and hiccup.

Seriously, fuck Steve for this. Not only for breaking your heart, but also creating the perfect storm. You, vulnerable and drunk in his fucking bed of all places. A wet dream come to life, if he’s being honest.

He needs to get the whiskey from you. He practically has to pry it out of your hands, amber liquid sloshing inside the nearly empty bottle. Fuck. He should have cut you off way earlier. He grabs the remote, clicking the mute button, “Honey, let’s take some deep breaths, yeah?”

Bucky tries to smile reassuringly but it’s tight and stretches over his teeth in a weird way that makes him look more machine than man. You peer over the edge of the pillow smushed against your face, doe eyes blinking owlishly at him, “Deep breaths?” You echo, incredulously, “You want me to take deep breaths when I walk in on my boyfriend tongue deep in that blonde bitch? Are you fucking for real, Bucky?”

Bucky’s mouth opens and closes rapidly, like a fish out of water. He sure fucking feels like one, incredibly out of his depths. He’s not equipped for this, a tornado of hormones and heartbreak. His stupid silence somehow seems to agitate you even further, angelic features twisting and morphing through every stage of grief in a matter of seconds.

Your anguish quickly gives way to fury, chucking the pillow across the room, “Has he always been like this? Huh?” 

Bucky blinks taken aback, “What? Steve?” He sighs, running a hand through shortly cropped hair, “No, doll, he hasn’t always been like this. I’ve known Steve since we were kids, and he’s never been a saint but he’s not usually an inconsiderate, lying, cheating asshole either.” Bucky’s voice is hard and contemptuous.

Bucky takes your dainty hand in his, squeezing reassuringly, “Hating Steve isn’t going to make this better. It’s not going to erase the pain he caused,” He pauses, pursing his lips as he tries to find the right words, “You gotta let yourself feel this, dollface. Feel the anger, feel the hurt, the betrayal. Don’t suppress it, because that’s just gonna make it fester.”

His jaw clenches, teeth grinding together. Bucky silently attempts to work through his own feelings on the matter. On one hand, his never wavering loyalty to Steve, his brother in arms and every sense of the word. On the other hand is you. Heartbroken, far too lovely for his comfort and the odd, delicate bond between you two. Bucky swallows, his mouth filled with a metallic taste as he fights down the ever growing urge to hunt Steve down and beat him within an inch of his life. 

He realizes you’re staring at him, gaze hard, “Why didn’t you warn me?” You ask in a quiet, hollow tone that makes Bucky feel like his heart is going to shrivel up in his chest.

Running a hand down his face, Bucky huffs, “Warn you?” He echoes, “Honey, I… I didn’t know.” He implores, clenching his fists in his lap, “I swear to God, if I had known he was being such a fucking prick, I would’ve put a stop to it, I would’ve beaten the information out of him myself.”

“You didn’t know?!” You throw your hands up in the air, gesturing wildly, “You didn’t have a single fucking inkling? I don’t believe that for a second, Bucky,” You hiss, movements jerky and agitated as you tousle your hair, “You didn’t think to say, “Hey doll,”” You begin to mimic Bucky’s voice, “���You’re about to date the goddamn devil!’”

Holding his hands up in a placating gesture, Bucky scoots back. Your accusation stings, hitting a nerve he hadn’t known was exposed, “Hey, hold on just a damn minute,” He says, his voice rising in defense, “I’m not fucking psychic, dollface. I knew Steve could be an inconsiderate ass sometimes, but I didn’t know he was straight up cheating on you.”

Bucky scoffs, a mixture of shock and anger coursing through his veins, “I’m not going to apologize for not knowing what my so-called best friend was up to behind your back. That’s not fucking fair.”

His gaze softens slightly, his voice lowering to a more conciliatory tone, “Listen, I’m sorry I didn’t see the signs earlier. I’m sorry you got hurt. But don’t think for a second that I would’ve ever encouraged you to be with someone who would treat you like this. You mean too damn much to me for that.”

You’re still pissed, of course. Feeling self-destructive, though Bucky’s heartfelt declaration hits deep. Your chest rises and falls rapidly, a feral kind of rage filling you, “Oh yeah? Well… you’re… You’re an ass!” You shout, a half-hearted insult. You weren’t really trying, you just wanted to burn bridges. You push yourself out of the bed, stomping out of the room. Slamming the door for good measure, the sound echoing through the apartment like a gunshot. Storming into the kitchen, you begin digging through Bucky’s sparse cabinets for more liquor.

Bucky stared after you, stunned and hurt by your somewhat childish outburst. Your accusations burned like salt in a fresh wound. He stood there for a moment, anger and confusion warring within him. Then, with a fierce scowl, he stalked after you, his long strides quickly closing the distance between his bedroom and the kitchen.

The floorboards creak under his heavy footsteps as he follows the path down the hallway. When he reaches the kitchen, he grabs the doorframe, leaning in. “Hey, wait a fucking minute.” He all but growls, his voice a deep, dangerous rumble. “I know you’re hurting, but you don’t get to just accuse me of being an ass and then stomp away like a fucking toddler.”

He steps further into the kitchen, a breath away from crowding you against the counter, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Steve being a prick, but I won’t accept you throwing blame at me when I'm trying my goddamn hardest to be here for you!”

Bucky leans back against the counter, scoffing, “We both know you’re better than this, sweetheart. Don’t let Steve’s mistakes make you forget that. I’m not the enemy.”

You snatch a bottle of vodka out of the cabinet, there’s no more than a few sips left. You down it in one go, sighing tiredly, “I don’t need you to be here for me. I don’t need you to fix me, Bucky. I’m not some little dolly for you to glue back together. You don’t need to make your fucking amends with me.”

Bucky’s expression hardens, snatching the bottle from your hands, “Watch your fucking tone,” He whispers, cornering you against the counter. There’s a glimmer in his eyes, you see it. The Winter Soldier lurking in the back of his psyche. It sends a perverse thrill down your spine.

“I’m not trying to fix you. You’re not some damn doll, I know that. I’ve always known that.” He pauses, taking a deep breath, “I’m here as your friend, to listen, to support you. But I won’t allow you to take your anger out on me, honey.”

You’ve never been good at knowing when to quit, it’s never been your strong suit. Now is not an exception, you double down on your brattiness.  

“Don’t tell me to watch my fucking tone, I’m not a child.” You hiss, scowling up at him. He towers over you, all muscle and man. Damn him for being so fucking tall, built like a skyscraper. You damn near have to be on your tiptoes at this point, it’s ridiculous. 

He grasps your chin hard, cheeks smushing up and lips forced into a pout, “Watch it, little girl,” He murmurs lowly, licking his lips, “You can be mad. You can scream and shout and curse until you’re blue in the face. But you don’t get to talk to me like that.”

Those sapphire eyes flashed with a mixture of anger, frustration, and a hint of something else, something that made your insides feel molten and heady.

“I’ve taken a lot of shit for the people I love. I’ve been beaten, tortured, and turned into a fucking weapon. But damn if I’m going to stand here and take your anger when all I’m trying to do is be here for you.” Slowly, deliberately, he leans in closer until his breath is hot against your pursed lips, “I know you’re hurting. I know you’re angry. But I won’t let you push me away, dollface. I won’t let you be self-destructive.” His voice drops to a fervent whisper, “You fucking try me, sweetheart. I’ve dealt with terrorist threats and mad titans. Fuck, I’ve been a terrorist. You think a little thing like you is going to scare me off?”

Bucky’s hand snakes around to the back of your neck. You whirl around, the world spinning, and he pushes you face first into the hardwood. You all but shriek in surprise, eyes comically wide. Your left cheek squished on the cool flooring, shoulders pinned down. Your knees prop your ass up in the air, curving your spine into a sharp arch. He has you right where he wants you, submissively positioned. An offering, your perky backside up in the air invitingly. Your body betrays you, a fucking shiver of pleasure wracking through you. You can feel your cunt leaking eagerly at Bucky’s manhandling. 

You wonder if he realizes the effect this is having on you. All thoughts of Steve and his betrayal fly from your mind as your pussy throbs in time with your rapid heartbeat. Shame and arousal burn your cheeks, you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to will away your body’s traitorous reaction. 

This is Bucky. This is fucking Bucky. Steve’s best friend, your weird friend-ish acquaintance. You know him because of Steve. This is a bad idea, horrible. You need to put a stop to this immediately before you actually let him have his way with you on the kitchen floor. Because you’re heartbroken, you’re pissed, and you’re far wetter than you’ve been in months. You’re too vulnerable and fucked up, not to mention drunk to make a sound decision right now. And you know, you fucking know if Bucky asked to rail you within an inch of your life… You’d say yes.

So, “Bucky, uh,” You begin to protest meekly, all the fire and spit on your tongue moments ago evaporating.

The hand that is now pressing down in the middle of your back and pinning your sternum to the ground increases in pressure fractionally. A silent warning of the consequences of pushing back even further.

The words die on your tongue, you focus your gaze on a piece of lint by your face and huff. 

But then, slowly, deliberately he brings his hand down on your upturned ass. Delivering a sharp smack that echoes through the room. A surprised shriek of indignation rips from your throat, equal parts horrified and aroused. The stinging pain radiates across your tender flesh, a stark contrast to the coolness of the floor beneath you. “What in the fuck are you doing?” You demand angrily, scowl deepening.

“Keep testing me, honey, and I’ll show you exactly what happens to bratty little girls who don’t listen,” Bucky punctuates his words with another sharp smack to your ass, watching as the flesh and fat jiggle and redden beneath his organic palm.

He drapes his muscular torso across your back, leaning over your bent form. His breath is hot against your ear, his body a heavy, unyielding weight pressing down on you. It’s a comforting contrast from the rough treatment your butt is receiving, like a warm weighted blanket. 

Despite your best efforts to stay quiet, a tiny breathless noise escapes your throat. Halfway between a moan and a squeak, the flush staining your cheeks darkens further. You bite your bottom lip hard enough to draw blood, simultaneously mortified and turned on.

Momentarily caught off guard, the super soldier freezes, his vibranium hand resting on the curve of your hip. A look of shock and disbelief crosses his handsome features. He had expected anger, perhaps even more fighting back, but never in a million years did he think you would react so unabashedly with desire.

For a moment, Bucky simply stares down at you, taking in the pretty flush of your cheeks, the way your lips parted around that sinful little noise. His cock, hard and heavy, strains through his jeans and presses into the curve of your ass. That all-consuming hunger that HYDRA tortured out of his system returns with a fucking vengeance. His blood sings in his veins at your little noises and rushes to his dick. 

A low, strangled groan escapes his throat as Bucky tries desperately to grasp at the last vestiges of self-control. His hand digs into the fat of your hip, squeezing and kneading almost unconsciously, “Fuck, honey…” He murmurs, his tone ragged with the overwhelming heat consuming you both, “Are you… are you getting off on this?”

Bucky moves impossibly closer, chapped lips brushing against the shell of your ear, “‘Cause if you are, honey… I’ll fucking wreck you and I won’t be held responsible for it.”

“Shut up,” You whine weakly, your shame and arousal fighting for dominance. Despite your half-hearted protest, you arch your spine deeper. You’re soaked, you know it. Embarrassingly soaked, probably through your fucking sweatpants at this point. Your cunt aches, feeling too empty. Bucky’s dark promise of wrecking you? Fuck if it doesn’t make you clench around nothing, needy and debauched. He’s barely touched you and you’re sure if he so much as brushes past your clit, you’ll cum harder than you ever have in your life.

Bucky’s eyes darken with lust as you arch your back, presenting your ass to him like a cat in heat. A low, approving growl rumbles deep in his throat. The hand on your hip slides back to palm the globe of your ass, sinking into the fatty flesh. You hope it bruises, god you want him to mark you. You want that vibranium arm to rip you into pretty little chunks and remake you into something new. Something Steve’s never touched, never kissed, never held.

“Shut up? Honey, the way you’re acting, you don’t want me to shut up,” He taunts, his voice a deep, seductive murmur.

That rips a pathetic whimper from your throat, eyes fluttering shut, “I’m too drunk for this.”

Bucky hums, “Yeah? You’re a big girl, you know how to say stop.”

You shudder, all but melting beneath him, “I’m too sad for this.”

Smack!

This time Bucky’s metal arm meets your ass cheek, you jolt, gasping. You’re panting openly against the hardwood, eyes screwed shut and blushing like a virgin. The intoxicating mixture of stinging pain and molten pleasure are far more powerful than the whiskey in your belly.

The former Winter Soldier all but rips your sweatpants down, bunching them around your knees. The cool air against your newly exposed skin makes you shudder, a perverse shiver racing down your spine. The rough, calloused pads of Bucky’s fingers dig into the tender flesh of your ass cheek, kneading and squeezing the malleable muscle possessively, “Fuck, baby, look at this ass… you’re fucking perfect,” He groans approvingly, hips rocking forward to grind his clothed erection against you, “Steve was a goddamn fool to ever even look at another woman.”

Without warning, he brings down his palm hard against your bare ass, the sharp crack of skin against skin filling the otherwise silent apartment. The biting ache blossoms across your nerves, quickly followed by a rush of heat and traitorous surge of arousal, “Maybe this is what you need, honey. You need to be manhandled, huh? I gotta slap that bratty attitude of yours outta your ass?” Bucky coos mockingly, dragging his blunt nails down the rapidly reddening skin.

You breathe shallowly, fuck it feels like you’re barely breathing as is. This is a side of Bucky you’d never dreamt of seeing, not even in your wildest dreams. He was always so stoic, quiet. It was like you were friends with a brick wall that used to be a sleeper agent. But this? Domineering, taunting, merciless Bucky? You were fucking drenched.

You hum in agreement, wiggling your ass back, too far gone now. Any sense of decorum or boundaries flies out of your little bird brain. All you know is Bucky’s punishing hand and his rock hard dick pressing against you.

He shifts, maneuvering your wrists to hold them firmly over your head with one large hand. He brings the other down on your backside in a series of sharp, biting slaps. A red handprint blooms across your skin, a brand. The pain gives way to a dizzying liquid heat that has you squirming and whining under him.

“Fuck, listen to you… making all those pretty little noises for me,” He pants, hips grinding slowly against the curve of your butt. Bucky was throbbing in his pants, achingly hard and straining angrily in the confines of his jeans, “Keep making those noises and I’ll bust in my fucking pants, honey.”

You can feel it now, how soaked you are. The cotton gusset of your panties clings to your puffy lips like a second skin. The evidence of your arousal is impossible to miss, the dark spot growing rapidly with each slap and taunting murmur. You rub your thighs together needfully, desperate for some kind of relief. Bucky’s gaze narrows in on your needy display, grinning wolfishly, “Fuck, honey, you’re absolutely soaked through,” His lips brush against your ear as he speaks, rolling his hips teasingly into your backside, “Is this what you need, doll? To be put in your place, spanked until you’re a needy, desperate little thing?”

Holding your wrists firmly above your head, his vibranium hand slides around your hip, fingertips brushing teasingly along the sticky fabric of your underwear. The material clings to your swollen, aching folds. 

“You leaking just for me, honey?” Bucky murmurs, nipping at your ear. He brushes the edge of his nail across the swollen bundle of nerves at the apex of your thighs. It’s so light that you almost don’t feel it, but you do and you sob in relief at the slightest touch. Your legs tremble, threatening to give out under you.

Bucky continues his maddeningly light caresses, “So fucking wet and ready for me…”

He circles your clit with the pad of his thumb, cool vibranium meeting feverish, swollen flesh. It swells and throbs under his ministrations. His fingers continue their unhurried exploration of your pussy, a single digit circling your entrance. You feel it push in slowly, sinking in one knuckle at a time. Your pussy flutters and clenches around the invading pressure, eager to be filled.

“This is what you needed all along, isn’t it honey? To be touched like this, to have someone take control and make this needy cunt drip?” He slides a second finger knuckle-deep into your dripping hole, pumping them in and out of your clinging heat as his other hand delivers harsh, biting strikes to your backside, “That’s it, honey, fucking take it.”

The thought of Steve’s vanilla, lackluster lovemaking paled in comparison to the passionate, almost feral way Bucky was claiming your body now. And his dick wasn’t even out yet. He could feel every inch of your silken skin trembling and quaking with need, your breathy cries and whimpering music to his ears. The tender, almost gentlemanly approach Steve usually had taken with you had left you wanting, craving something far more intense and fulfilling.

Bucky eases his fingers out and peels your panties from your sticky cunt, shucking the fabric to bunch it around your knees with your sweatpants. He reaches out once more, his calloused palm cupping the warm, plush flesh of your ass. He could feel the heat radiating off your skin, could feel the way your muscles clenched and trembled beneath his touch. His fingers sank into the giving flesh, squeezing. 

“If you don’t fuck me right now, I think I’ll die,” You whisper, needy with shame burning your cheeks. And in that moment, it may as well have been true. To drive the point home, you wriggle your ass back against his groin, a clear invitation.

Bucky groaned, the sound torn from deep in his chest. His cock throbs and jumps at your needy words, desperate to be balls deep in your tight cunt. Faintly, he realizes he should hesitate, take a moment to think this through. But the way you presented yourself so wantonly to him made every logical thought fly out the window. He couldn’t resist, not you, not like this.

His hands flew to his belt, working it open with shaking hands. He quickly shoved his boxers and jeans down his thighs, freeing his aching cock. It sprang up, long, thick, and flushed a deep, angry red. The swollen head was leaking pre-cum, a bead of moisture rolling down the shaft. He wrapped a hand around it, stroking himself a few times, before shifting closer to you. Bucky sweeps the tip of his cock through your folds, from hole to clit, coating himself in your sticky slickness. 

You gape at his dick, eyes wide as you peer over your shoulder. He’s fucking huge, because of course he is. Thick and girthy, this is going to hurt, you realize. And though that should deter you, or at the very least make you anxious, it only makes you wetter.

“Fuck,” You whisper, struggling to form a coherent thought, “You’re fucking huge. That’s… that can’t fit. It’s physically impossible.”

The bastard smirks, rubbing the small of your back, “Oh, it’ll fit, honey. I’ll make sure of that.”

You already feel your inner muscles tensing up, trying to force out something that isn’t even breaching you yet. A high-pitched keening noise rips from your throat as the bulbous tip sinks into your wet heat.

Bucky shudders as he feels your tight little cunt clenching and fluttering around just the swollen head of his cock. Fuck, you were so goddamn small, so fucking tight. He could feel every inch of your silky walls squeezing him, trying to push his thick tip out of your needy hole. It took every ounce of control not to just slam forward and bury himself to the hilt in your scorching heat.

He grit his teeth, his breath coming out in a low growl as he forced himself to hold still, to wait for your okay before he fucked into you. His hands gripped your hips hard enough to leave bruises, holding you in place as he fought for some semblance of restraint. Where was all that goddamn self-discipline that HYDRA beat into him? His dick was barely inside you and he was already a slave to your nubile body. 

He rocked his hips slightly, just barely, letting you feel the thick, spongy head of his cock kiss your entrance with each shallow thrust. “Tell me to move, honey.” Bucky pants, sounding utterly wrecked, “Let me move.”

All you can offer is a small, pathetic whine in response. 

That’s all the confirmation Bucky needs. He starts to move then, his hips rocking in shallow little thrusts as he eases inch after inch of his monstrous dick inside you. His grip tightens on your hips, digging into the plush flesh of your ass as he keeps you in place for each teasing thrust of his cock.

“God, honey, I’m gonna fuck this needy hole just like you want,” He growls, sweat beading on his forehead from the effort of holding back, “Gonna rub this thick fucking tip all over this slutty pussy until you’re dripping and begging for my cock. Fuck… you’re so goddamn tight. Squeezing my cock so fucking hard.”

“W-we shouldn’t be doing this,” You gasp, screwing your eyes shut against the onslaught of sensations. You’re already feeling overstimulated, too warm and too full. Part of you screams to crawl away from the excruciating sensation of being impaled on such a thick cock. You try your best to breathe through it, willing your body to relax. Your cunt weeps, rivulets of slick dripping down and around Bucky’s dick. You feel the little droplets running down your thighs, mixing with your sweat.

Bucky hisses through clenched teeth as he feels your arousal dripping obscenely down his length, your thighs trembling. He loops an arm around your hips, holding you up as he watches the way his dick is swallowed up by your tight hole. He could see you struggling, hear the conflict in your whimper, the way you whispered this was wrong even as your body screamed for his touch. He knew he should listen to the voice in both your heads telling him to stop, to pull away before they crossed a line from which there could be no return… but fuck, he was so goddamn close to the edge already.

His hips rocked faster, fucking his cock in and out of your clutching heat with rough, rapid thrusts. A wet, obscene symphony of squelching and skin slapping against skin fills the room, mixing with his labored breathing and low, strained grunts of pleasure.

“We… fuck.. We shouldn’t…” He repeated your words dumbly, but even as he said it, his cock kept moving. You could feel the tip kissing your cervix with each throbbing, leaking thrust. “But fuck, honey, you feel too good… too goddamn good. We can’t stop now,” Bucky leans forward, pressing his chest against your back, his lips brushing down the side of your neck, “Fuck, gonna make this pretty cunt mine. Fill it up real good, honey.”

“Oh, god,” You gasp, a fresh wave of arousal flooding through you at his words. Your toes curl, fingernails scraping across the floor, “I want that, please. Wreck me.”

The desperate, pleading tone of your voice shatters the remnants of Bucky’s already frayed control. His eyes roll back at your words, groaning. He feels your velvet walls clench and ripple around his throbbing dick, grasping him like a hot fist. Without warning, his hand slides from your hip to your dripping sex, rough fingers finding your swollen, aching clit.

He teases the sensitive bundle of nerves, rubbing tight circles around it with the pad of his thumb as he fucks into you hard and fast. His hips rock faster in tandem with the finger on your clit, each thrust pushing a gush of your juices around his cock and down your thighs. 

You feel like you’re on fire, every nerve alight and singing Bucky’s name. You bite down on your fist, attempting to hold back the shrieks of pleasure bubbling up in your chest, “Right there, god, please!” You squeal, trembling with the burning need to cum, “God, don’t stop. Please don’t fucking stop, right there.”

Your whiny, wanton moans bring Bucky’s climax hurtling at him like a freight train. He ducks his head down, sinking his teeth into the meat of your shoulder and shudders. The feeling of your slick little cunt gripping his dick was maddening, and the needy, desperate sounds spilling from your lips were pushing him closer to the edge, “Fuck, honey. Just like that, keep screaming for me. Gonna blow my load in this hot little cunt.”

You whine in response, Bucky’s rough treatment of your clit sending you careening over the edge. Your cunt clamps down violently, slick release gushing out of your hole. Lips parting in a silent scream, you shudder, shattering beneath him. Bucky lets out a guttural moan, his voice raw with pleasure as you cum hard on his cock. A puddle of sticky wetness forms between your legs on the floor, dripping down the fat of your thighs. Bucky can feel his own orgasm building fast and hard, his shaft throbbing and pulsing as he caresses your clit through your aftershocks.

“Yes, fuck! That’s it, honey. Soak me, pretty girl, gonna- fuck!” He grunts, his hips slamming forward and burying his thick cock to the hilt in your spasming pussy with one hard thrust. He groans long and low as your sex milks him for all he’s worth, his hot seed flooding your insides.

Bucky shudders, hips jerking as he empties his heavy balls inside you, thick ropes of pearlescent cum coating your fluttering walls. He presses his hips tight to your ass, grinding against you. That’s enough for your legs to quit on you. His eyes widen as your legs tremble and then give out, your body going boneless and pliant in his arms. He tightens his grip on your hips, hauling you back up onto your knees. Bucky’s heart races, a wild bird in his ribcage, as he struggles to catch his breath in the aftermath of his intense orgasm.

Slowly, almost reluctantly, he eases his softening cock out of your well-used hole. A river of his thick cum oozes out after him, dripping down your inner thighs, joining the puddle of slick on the floor. Bucky can’t help but feel satisfaction at how fucked-out you look, sporting his bite mark on your shoulder. His hands slide around to cup the soft swell of your belly, his palms splayed across the gentle curve. He could feel the heat of your skin, the way it flushed and erupted in little goosebumps from his touch. His gaze heavy-lidded, dark with lingering lust as he murmurs in your ear, “We can’t do this again, right honey?”

[thecr0w]

Home

p.1, ~1k words

ghoap/nanny reader, in which shes roped in to care for a poorly johnny who just wants his big family :(

[tags/cw; dubcon, noncon, breeding, use of alcohol, implied death, threats of violence, overall weird and creepy johnny, actually deranged johnny, simon’s off his rocker, blackmailing, ect.]

series masterlist

AAAAAAAAA i’ve been thinking about this for literally so long, im sorry it’s so so short i just needed to get it out :( it’s my first big-girl fic, and the first part. thanks @ceilidho for letting me spit this idea to you! btw, NOT beta-read. im sorry.

It was a gloomy day when you got the news you would lose your job, something about budget cuts and lack of funding. It was gloomy again, a month later when you found yourself short on rent. Cold, cloudy and gray when you got your eviction notice. No warnings, just a handwritten letter commanding your evacuation in a months time. Signed by your landlord. Nights of manic panic, rushing to pack and overwhelmed with the prospect of selling all your worldly possessions to afford a shitty motel room seemed to fly by.

The dim light of your phone illuminated your dark bedroom, scrolling through a less than ideal advertising website, reduced to this after exhausting all other resources. Rejection email after rejection email piled up in your inbox, fueling your anxiety like no other.

You scanned the listings, some odd and some underpaying labor jobs littered across the page. Suddenly, bold black letters flashed across your screen. It states simply, ‘Live-in nanny needed to assist first time dad. Give me a ring.’ This has to be a scam. It’s too good to be true, a job and a place to stay? A smile cracks across your face as you click on the listing. It offers no other information, just a phone number at the bottom of the advert. You think for a second, then decide that you’re out of options completely and this is better than a concrete pillow. Your heart flutters as you punch the numbers in, hesitating just a beat before pressing the green ‘call’ button.

It rings for about a minute, and hope exits your body with every monotone mechanical sound. Voicemail. Fuck. You hang up, groaning as you fall back onto your bed and allow your phone to drift from your clammy hands to your chest. The droning sound of a fan overtakes your thoughts.

Your phone vibrates loudly on your sternum, jolting you upright. The number feels unfamiliar, but you’re certain it’s the one from the nanny listing. You accept the call.

“Yeah?” A gruff voice on the other end greeted, followed by a loud blowing sound, as if he were smoking. You could smell the cigarette through the phone.

“Oh, hi! I’m calling about the nanny ad, I’m very-“

“Have any experience?” He cut you off, blowing sound accompanying his accented voice again.

“Oh yes, I-“

“Right. Meet me at that coffee place ‘round the corner of 5th in an hour.”

The line went silent.

“Um.. okay, see you soon.” you called after, to which you were met with no response. A look at your home screen revealed he had already hung up.

Thirty minutes later, you began your walk to the designated shop. Maybe being early would show some initiative for the job, or maybe it would look pathetic. Your mother always said to show up early to everything, anyway.

The coffee shop is quiet, few patrons sprinkled few and far between the tables and booths. The smell of brewing coffee is so strong it makes you nauseous. The back of your neck tingles and you can feel eyes burning through your skull. You turn to look, and a pair of brown eyes meet yours.

God, if looks could kill.

A tall, wide man tears into you, unmoving in his gaze. Jesus, not even a blink. He sits almost a foot taller than the back of the booth, black surgical mask barely covering an ugly scar etched across his cheek. His hood shadows his face, dark hoodie tight over thick biceps.

Is this guy real?

You blink, gaze faultering and searching for a break from contact. Uneasiness floods your stomach and you contemplate just walking back out and going to bed. He whistles quickly as soon as you turn your head back, motioning with his finger to sit. You follow.

“You must be the dad about the nanny gig? I didn’t catch your name, sorry.”

“Didn’t give it to you.”

You inhale and nod.

“Well, we’re both here a little early.” You look him over in an attempt to find something to connect on. “I like your tattoos.” you try, suddenly finding your hands awkward on the table.

“Can you handle a baby?”

You nod, eyes shooting up to meet his. He hasn’t stopped looking directly into your eyes, and it’s making you nervous. You haven’t seen him blink yet.

“What about a man? Cooking, cleaning? Can you keep the place nice?”

“I can, I used to babysit my neighbors, little cousins. I have a clean record, I don’t drink, and I can keep a nice house.”

He stays quiet for a minute too long, and you’re ready to accept defeat.

“You can have the guest room, I’ll send you your pay at the end of the week. Here’s my number, call me when you’re all packed up and I’ll pick you up.”

“Today?”

“Before next week.”

He slides a napkin across the table to you, smudged ink scribbled over the thin paper. Before you can ask anything else, he’s already sliding out of the booth. He groans loudly as he stretches popping joints, arms extended high in the air. You catch a glimpse of his hairy belly when his hoodie rides up. His eyes meet yours when you hastily look away, and you could swear a smirk hides under that little mask of his.

“Is that all? I’m hired?”

He nods and walks away, never looking back as he exits the cafe. A shiver erupts up your spine, an uncomfortable churning presses in your stomach. Maybe it’s just too weird, maybe you’re being too weird, maybe you’re overthinking something so simple- but he wouldn’t stop staring. A low hiss emanates from the small tv mounted on the wall, catching your attention.

A nature documentary. A panther sits atop a tree, staring attentively at something small on the grassy earth below. A deer flicks its ears, some primal instinct allowing it to be somewhat aware of danger. It flicks its head around, scanning its surroundings for the source. The panther pounces, sinking its sharp fangs into the fragile neck of the doe beneath it.

You look away as the deer begins to bleat pathetically.

[frogiwi]

HIIIII KI ✨🥰🫡 7, 18, and 27 pleas for the more fic writer asks !!!

HI HIDEY ILY

7. your preferred writing fonts

OUGH. SORRY I KNOW U ARE TYPEFACE ENTHUSIAST. HOWEVER I JUST USE GDOCS DEFAULT ARIAL..............

18. if you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic

DO I KEEP THEM? pause while i go look through some docs LOL

OK I FOUND SOME. i found a lot actually but i got bored of rereading them so i'll go with the first one i found which i had entirely forgot about, deleted from my first makichi fic, right in front of my eyes

“Do you trust those guys?” Chihaya blinks. Sure, he does. Loathe as he is to admit it, Kiyomine is as much of a monster as ever, and Kaname improves at a pace far beyond any true novice could. Todo’s performance had been questionable in their last game, but Chihaya’s willing to give him another shot to prove himself because he’s shown results before. Yamada is as reliable as ever, even while they iron out the kinks in their lineup. They have good senses, and what some of the group lacks in skill, they make up for in enthusiasm. They’ve settled into a good routine, and they’ll only get better from here. “Outside of baseball,” Makita tacks on belatedly.

so.... i wrote this fic back in july, so i don't really remember any of my thoughts outside of the notes i have in the doc. but these lines happen during a conversation chihaya and makita have after the second round of the summer tournament in first year, when makita asks chihaya to meet up. the fic is about, like, exploring how the shitty things makita said to chihaya came from a place of hurt and rejection rather than from hating chihaya or resenting him, and about chihaya learning that makita didn't resent him but just wanted to be friends with him. it's about reconciling, to put it simply. it's a short and sweet one too. i think the reason the above passage got cut is twofold

a lot of my early bouba wips have this thing where i. have the narrating character (chihaya or todo, p much) kinda... reflecting on the composition of the team and thinking a nice (and/or snarky) thing about each person. idk why i did it so much. we get it, the team is full of earnest weirdos who are great at baseball or are learning to be great at baseball. the show told us that already, move on. i think the reason this came up in this fic is bc makita has noticed that chihaya is actually friends w his high school team while he wasnt friends w anyone on his and makita's old team, and makita wonders why they weren't good enough. so chihaya thinks about his team and why he's friends with them. i think this paragraph just didnt feel like it really added anything by going specific though. none of these things are like, things makita or others on the old team didn't have tbh. but then to my second reason

"outside of baseball", now that i think about it, doesn't make sense at all in a fic about chihaya. bc 1) we know that one of his biggest problems is trusting people, which is presented to us through the lens of baseball and how he would only rely on himself in crucial moments, rather than being presented to us in terms of his social life in general, and 2) makita doesn't care about things that aren't baseball, and he wouldn't care about whether or not chihaya trusts his team outside of it. he WOULD care so much about whether he trusts them in baseball, bc he didnt trust makita or the rest of that team. but i dont think ANY of this occurred to me when i cut it. but now that i reflect on it i'm glad i did LOL

ok anyways idr what i was talking abt. i found a TON of cut stuff for the todochi/makichi cheating fic too but it was all boring. no wonder it was cut AHAHA

27. your favorite part of the writing process

HM.......... i think..... ok, i don't have much of a "process" other than: write whenever my brain and hands allow me to until either i get hopelessly stuck, or i finish it. if i get stuck i go to some trusty friends and gather thoughts and i discuss deeply with my beta (THAT'S YOU!). and then i work on it more and finish it. editing is generally minimal.

so that said, i think my favorite parts are

when i have an idea take hold so strongly that i spend a day writing multiple thousands of words and end up with a solid chunk of really good shit, ESPECIALLY if i was just endlessly rotating it in my head before but never writing words other than notes. what's better than coming back to ur doc the day after a writing fever like that and seeing all this shit that wasn't there before. IT SLAPS.

actually, having beta discussions is probably my favorite part. it's so fun every time to absolutely dissect the shit out of the plot, or a character, or a paragraph, or even just a sentence. i feel like how i think about writing has transformed so much in a short time bc of this part of the process and it's also made me better at identifying my own goals and intentions etc. it's really fun to really get into it for hours and come out of it with a page full of notes to start plugging away with. i've never stayed stuck after we do this so it really is the best thing ever

ok this got rly long as always but these ones were interesting and took some thought (other than font....) so THANK U ILY

✍️ fic writer asks

[jellyfishmika]

joel just wanted etho to be nice to him. he needed etho there for him through all the hard times, why did so much bad stuff happen to him? thank goodness etho was here for him.

i'd imagine while joel was making his hidden room in ethos base, he stumbled onto ethos shrine by accident, horrified yet happy? if etho cared about him that much to make a shine, surely joel wasnt worthless... it doesnt matter if he was terrified of some of the drawings etho had of him, he had happy ones too! it'd all be okay.

if etho did find joels room, he'd lock the two of them in there for hours. finally, a safer more soundproof area for etho to use joel to his fullest! how sweat of joel. //>w<//

joel would definitely get used to begging etho for anything now, he just wants to make him happy! sometimes he'd just start begging for etho, to do anything he doesn't even care, he just needed the other so he knew etho still cared.

some of the stuff in etho's shrine made joel... well it reminded him of when he first joined the server. it made him feel gross. he didn't know etho had always wanted to do this stuff to him. did it start getting like this back in the life series? or was it only when he joined hermitcraft?

on the other hand, etho had an entire shrine just for him! and with how much stuff was in it? oh, etho still added to it daily. a shitty quality version of the song joel made for his honey shop was placed carefully on a shelf, a clay figure of the glow squid statue joel made, and an entire map of joel's base, updated to the most recent changes. some people might've found it creepy, joel a few months ago would have shut himself away for weeks just seeing this. but now? it was the sweetest thing ever. etho really did care, so much. everything he did for joel was out of love, even if it hurt, this was just proof of how important he was!

oh etho would 100% try and corner joel in that secret room if he ever found it, keeping him locked away from everyone else, just the two of them! joel's still not really used to etho just taking what he wants from him, shaking and crying the entire time. and a soundproof room? oh joel knew what he was doing building it, he wanted etho to abuse him in there :P just so he could scream as loud as he wants for help, no chance anyone would hear them!

[venusdebotticelli]

As a fellow claw-haver who provides very good scritches, I have some tips! (heh 😏)

Under a read more, because I got long-winded 😅 And with the disclaimer that, as OP said, you can literally do whatever you want, have fun with it! This is just entirely optional extra info for whoever wants it, feel free to dismiss it entirely if it's gonna suck the fun out of it for you.

I used to bite my nails all the time too, for years, until I managed to stop when I was 15 y.o., and haven't gone back to biting them in the 14 years since.*

When you finally stop biting your nails for the first time, they will grow out extremely brittle and shitty at first, because you've been abusing them forever and they've forgotten How To Nail Properly. Mine used to come out as thin as tissue paper, with visibly peeling layers, and would even get holes in the middle of the bit that stuck out past my fingertip. It was very grim for the first few weeks/months 😬 One thing that helps strengthen them is taking food supplements that include things like collagen, keratin, calcium, iron, etc. They market some specifically for "Nails & Hair", but they don't need to be fancy and expensive tbh, the supermarket brand multivitamins are usually good enough (at least where I live; do read the labels), you just need to feed them a lil' bit. And that's just to give them the first push. Once they're finally growing out healthy you can stop taking any supplements, and they won't go back to being terrible (at least in my experience. Take all of this with a grain of salt, I'm just a rando on the internet who talked to a dermatologist about it more than a decade ago).

As for the drug store strengtheners/hardeners you mentioned above, those can actually be a bit counterproductive, I've found. Because what they do is they make your nails stiff, which means that whenever you hit them against something they're going to break, instead of bend. You want your nails to be flexible, and nail oil is usually a bit better for that. It doesn't need to be super fancy either, you're just looking at anything that includes jojoba oil, vitamin E and sweet almond oil, mainly. You can just buy those oils on their own and make your own blend too. Just keeping your hands moisturised can help with that as well.

Painting them helps too, because you're adding some structural support and protection without compromising the flexibility. And if you're still struggling with biting them, it serves as a reminder not to do that. Personally I do find experimenting with nail art pretty fun, but if you can't be arsed with that, you can just put a clear base coat/top coat on them and still have the benefits without having to bother making it look good. (I'd just make sure that the polish you have is what they call "5 free", which means the formulation doesn't include the 5 most toxic ingredients that they traditionally used to make nail polish, because that's just gonna damage your nails more and it's not great for you, health-wise).

Also, don't cut/clip your nails, filing them is always better for them. If you find that they're a bit ragged after you've filed them, just use a nail buffer to clean the edges, the higher grit leaves a cleaner result.

Simplynailogical on youtube has a very useful nail-care playlist. Personally I find the first video specially helpful:

*: "But tumblr user @venusdebotticelli," you may ask, "how did you manage to stop biting them in the first place?" Honestly, I'm not giving any advice here, because I don't think it's a very reproducible "strategy" :p

Basically I used to bite them for years, since I was a little kid, and never managed to stop. Then when I was 15 I went on a 3 week long student exchange trip to Malta, got drunk for the first time in my life, on several nights throughout the 3 weeks, and just had loads of fun away from my abusive parents and the expectations of anyone who knew me other than a close friend who was also on the trip with me. And when I came back I just??? Didn't bite my nails anymore?????? I used to joke that the alcohol just killed the specific neurons in my brain that made me want to bite my nails. But tbh, I think it was just a matter of being an abused kid who suddenly got 3 weeks of freedom and the chance to chill the fuck out and actually enjoy myself for once, and it was just long enough to actually break up the habit. When I came back, I started filing my nails into pointy claws, just for the fun and the aesthetic, and like op said, that got me invested in keeping my nails healthy so I could keep having fun with them. I still get the compulsion to bring my fingers to my mouth sometimes, but instead of biting my nails, I just gnaw at the edges and hang-nails a little bit, with the goal of keeping the shape intact and going over them with the file or the cuticle nipper once I have a moment for it. And yeah, like I said above, I've never gone back to biting my nails since. Because having claws is sick as hell 😎

idk who needs to hear this but you can file your nails so they’re pointy. You can do it right now you don’t even need to get permission from anyone. You don’t even need a fancy manicure or anything. All you need is a nail file. Yeah they might not be perfect and the tips may break off but guess what you can just start over. They’ll keep growing

You can have claws. Nothing and no one can stop you

[storiesforallfandoms]

late night sins ~ xavier plympton;ahs 1984

word count: 5360 (the longest fic i’ve ever written!!)

request?: yes!

“Can you do a xavier plympton smut/ fluff where theres an poc reader and basically they meet at camp redwood and xavier basically flirts with the reader alot an the readers a virgin and she has like this gold cross pendant soo his friends kinda pick with the reader about her being the only virgin out of the group, and basically xavier sneaks in the girl cabin on a late night while everyone is sleeping wakes up the poc reader and takes her virginity under the covers but she has to be quiet to not alert the other camp counselors in the female cabin…”

description: in which the good christian girl decides to delve into sin after she meets her fellow hot camp counsellor

pairing: xavier plympton x poc!female!reader

warnings: swearing, smut (oral; f receiving, unprotected p in v, pull out method is used but fr wrap it before you tap it kids)

masterlist (one, two, three)

The minute she stepped out of her car, she knew she was going to stick out like a sore thumb. She could see the other camp counsellors gathered around by the entrance. They were all wearing skintight, revealing clothes. One girl with messy blonde hair was passing a joint to one of the boys stood next to her. An older looking man was stood with them wearing pants so tight she could make out the outline of his...downstairs area.

The gold cross hung around her neck felt like it was burning into her skin.

She swallowed her fear and forced herself towards the others. The crunching of dirt under her tennis shoes felt like a thundering stomp as the attention was pulled towards her. The blonde looked her up and down as she blew smoke from the corner of her mouth. “Who invited the Virgin Mary?”

Two of her friends snickered while the other two - a black haired girl and a tall boy with sandy blonde hair - shuffled awkwardly at the joke. Well, the girl was awkward. The boy was silent, but he was looking at her with a look in his eye she couldn’t quite place.

“I’m, um, (Y/N),” she said, ignoring the hurtful comment. “I’m a counsellor this summer, too.”

“I guess Margaret needed someone to try and keep her goodie two shows rules in place,” the blonde said. “I’m Montana. This is Brooke, Trevor, Chet, Ray, and Xavier.”

“It’s n-nice to m-meet you,” (Y/N) said.

Trevor, the man with the tight pants and a big bulge, chuckled. “Well, isn’t she adorable. Where did Margaret find you?”

“Leave her alone,” Brooke said. “It’s nice to meet you too, (Y/N). Here, let me take you to Margaret. She’ll be able to get you acquainted here.”

Xavier watched as Brooke guided (Y/N) towards Margaret's office. Unlike the other girls, including good girl Brooke, she was completely covered in baggy clothes despite the intense heat of the summer. Which, he knew he shouldn’t have found attractive, but he did. He was so taken by her after such a short interaction.

Montana elbowed Xavier to snap him out of his train of thought. “Do not tell me you’re eyeing up the Bible humper.”

“Fuck off. I think she’s cute,” Xavier retorted, taking the joint from Ray.

“Never gonna happen, man,” Ray told him. “You’ll be lucky if you see her ankles this summer.”

“Or maybe not,” Chet added. “Most of those Christian girls are freaks. She’ll be on her knees by nightfall I’d say.”

Xavier threw the lit joint at Chet. The four remaining counsellors made noises of disapproval as the joint fizzled out on the ground. Xavier ignored them as he walked away. He wasn’t sure where he was going, but he needed to get away from his shitty friends. Sure, at one point Xavier would’ve been laughing along with them at the Christian girl’s expensive, but this Christian girl was different. To him she was, anyways.

He found himself headed towards the counsellor’s quarters, which happened to be on the way past Margaret’s office. He glanced over towards the open door as he passed and noticed (Y/N) stood with Margaret. As if feeling his gaze, (Y/N) looked over and locked eyes with him. He smiled at her, hoping it looked as friendly as he meant it to. She smiled back, shyly, and quickly looked away.

That was all he needed to be wrapped around her fingers.

~~~~~~

That night, all the counsellors were gathered in the female counsellor’s cabin. It was majorly against Margaret’s rules, but that’s why they were doing it. If they were going to be forced into being Margaret’s anti-fun police for the summer, they wanted to have one last night of debauchery. That included weed, alcohol, and, if they could get away with it, sex.

When (Y/N) walked through the door, they were already well into their night of fun. Everyone turned to look at her as she took in the scene with wide eyes. She was coming from the showers, as evident by her dripping wet hair clinging to her neck and shoulders. She was dressed in a pair of shorts and a white tank top that was so thin that it was easy to make out the outline of her brown breasts against the white fabric. Xavier had to shuffle a pillow over his growing boner.

“The Virgin Mary shows skin,” Montana commented. “How scandalous.”

“What are you guys doing?” she asked.

“We’re trying to have some fun,” Montana responded. “Which won’t happen if your goodie two shoes ass goes to tell Margaret on us.”

“I won’t tell.” All eyes followed her towards her bed, the one that Xavier was sat on. She put her dirty clothes into the bag and sat next to him. “Pass me a beer.”

Her request shocked everyone. Ray grabbed a bottle from the cooler and passed it to (Y/N). “You drink beer?”

“Well...no. But I’ve drank the wine at church, so I figure that’s the same thing.”

“There’s wine in church?” Trevor asked.

(Y/N) nodded. “Communal wine. It’s supposed to be the blood of Christ.”

“You Bible humpers drink blood?” Ray asked. “You guys really are freaks!”

“No, it’s not - ” Xavier cut her off by putting a hand on her arm and shaking his head.

She sighed and opened the beer bottle. Her heart was hammering against her chest. What would her parents think if they found out she was drinking at camp? What would her pastor say? They had all been convinced that the camp was going to be a place of sin and tried to convince her not to go.

But she had spent her entire life being a good Christian girl. She followed everything her parents and priests had told her from the day she was born. This was the first time she had ever made a decision for herself. She was a young adult now. If she wanted to drink, then she could drink.

There’s always the option to pray for forgiveness once the summer ends, she reminded herself.

She brought the bottle to her lips and took a big mouthful. When she swallowed the thick liquid, she cringed and began to gag. Her fellow counsellors laughed at her reaction.

“Definitely not like wine,” she croaked.

“Here.” Brooke passed her some water. “I’ll make the beer go down easier, and it’ll wipe the taste from your mouth.”

(Y/N) accepted the water gratefully and took a sip.

The small mouthfuls of beer started working very quickly on her. By the time she had finished her first bottle of beer, (Y/N) was already feeling warm and fuzzy. She felt her body lull to the side against Xavier, who welcomed her with an arm around her shoulder, adding his bodily warmth to hers.

“Hey now, Virgin Mary, leave room for Jesus there,” Montana mocked.

“Shut the fuck up, Montana,” she retorted.

The curse was new on her tongue, but it tasted delicious as it spilled from her lips. Everyone seemed shocked and impressed by her choice of words, and she was shocked herself, but she was starting to like the feeling she was getting. Not just from the beer, but also from throwing caution to the wind and doing what most people her age did. Sure, she would likely feel some sort of guilt over the coming days about this night, but for now she felt like she was floating on cloud nine.

“You’ve never done anything like this before, have you?” Brooke asked her. “The drinking and cursing, I mean.”

(Y/N) shook her head. “Never. My parents say cursing sounds unladylike, and binge drinking is kind of viewed as a sin, especially when you’re underaged.”

“Religion sounds boring,” Chet said.

“It is,” (Y/N) admitted, shocked by the fact that she really did believe that. Her whole life she had been a devout Christian, never once questioning her faith, but no one could deny how strict her Christian parents were, or how intolerant some of her devout family members and neighbors were. She had never been around people like the other counsellors before. She never knew what kind of life she could possibly have outside of her religion.

“Are you even allowed to have boyfriends?” Montana asked. “Is that a sin, too?”

“Having a boyfriend isn’t a sin, but it is awkward to try and have any form of PDA in front of parents or other adults,” (Y/N) said. “Even holding hands is awkward.”

“So have you ever been kissed?” Brooke asked.

(Y/N) nodded. “Yeah, a couple times. It was very awkward, but so are most first kisses.”

“Have you ever had sex?” Montana asked. Suddenly, (Y/N) became shy again, which caused Montana to grin wickedly. “You haven’t, have you? You’re still a virgin!”

(Y/N) shrunk back against Xavier, who held her protectively towards him. “Knock it off, Montana.”

“What? I’m just stating a fact, and the fact is she’s a virgin. Poor thing will probably never know how good it feels to have a big dick all up inside of her.”

(Y/N)’s thighs clenched together at Montana’s words. Of course she had thought about sex before. She was in her early 20s, she had gone through the crazy hormonal stages of puberty where sex was the one thing on every teenager’s mind. But she never got to explore those urges. She had been taught her entire life that sex before marriage was the ultimate sin, and that if she tried to...relieve herself, so to speak, that she would also be condemned to Hell. But, boy, did she ever think of how badly she wanted someone to finally deflower her, if not just to make the sinful thoughts go away.

Her squirming definitely did not go unnoticed by Xavier, but he didn’t bring any attention to it. The last thing he wanted was for Montana to have more reasons to mock (Y/N).

“I wanna have sex,” she said in a soft voice. “But I want to be sure of it. I want it to be with someone I’m sure of.”

Xavier wasn’t sure if he imagined it or not, but he could’ve swore he saw her eyes flicker towards him when she said the last part.

No, there’s no way, he thought. We’ve barely had a conversation together, stop thinking so highly of yourself.

But...but what if she did?

He glanced down at her again, but her attention was drawn to whatever one of the others were saying.

Maybe I could figure this out later on tonight when everyone is gone, he thought, and the idea made him smirk to himself.

~~~~~~

The male counsellors went back to their own cabin once the night had come to an end. Xavier laid in his bed, starring at the ceiling as he waited to make sure everyone was asleep. Once the cabin was filled with soft breathing and snoring, he quickly got up and pulled on his shoes. He opened the rickety door as silently as he could, stopping to cringe when it let out a squeak anyways. When none of the others stirred, he continued on his mission.

All the girls were also sound asleep. Their cabin was nearly pitch black, with just some rays of white light shining in from the full moon.

(Y/N) was laying on her side, her hands tucked under her face as she breathed softly. Xavier couldn’t help but smile at her as he made his way towards her bed. She looked so beautiful and peaceful. Like an angel, for a lack of better words.

He knelt down next to her bed and lightly shook her. She stirred slightly, but didn’t wake up. Xavier looked over his shoulder to make sure that Brooke and Montana were definitely asleep before shaking (Y/N) a little harder. She mumbled something incoherent before her eyes slowly blinked open. When she looked at Xavier, she let out a gasp and he quickly covered her mouth to stop her from making any other noises.

“Shh!” he said. “It’s just me.”

“What are you doing here?!” she whispered. “If you get caught you’ll be in big trouble!”

“No one is going to catch me. Margaret has been dead asleep since before we had our little party,” Xavier said, a cocky grin on his face. “I wanted to ask you something.”

“It couldn’t wait until morning?”

“No, because my response to the answer might need the cover of nightfall.” She looked at him in confusion, so he continued, “Earlier, when you were talking about losing your virginity to someone you’re sure of, did you look at me?”

She stared at him blankly. “What?”

“You heard me.”

“Xavier, this can wait until morning.”

She went to roll over with her back to him, but he quickly took hold of her arms and stopped her from moving.

“I’m serious, (Y/N), I need to know,” he said. “Because if you genuinely meant that, I might have to take you up on that offer.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Why? So you can brag to the others about taking the Christian girl’s virginity? I don’t think so.”

He pulled away from her, hurt by her accusation, but then realized that it was a very valid point. They barley knew each other and here he was, coming to her in the middle of the night because he thought she had inferred wanting to sleep with him. Even if he didn’t have the ill intentions that she thought he did, he clearly did not have any pure ones either.

“It’s not that at all,” he said. “I swear to you, (Y/N). I just...I’ve been very infatuated with you since we first met earlier, and that’s very unlike me because we’ve hardly talked to one another. But it’s the truth, I swear. I’m not just trying to get into your pants.”

(Y/N) rolled onto her back to look up at Xavier. Her face was unreadable, which was just making things worse. He wished she would say something, anything. Even if she just told him to fuck off, with that beautiful, innocent mouth of hers.

Okay, maybe she shouldn’t say that.

She sighed and propped herself up on her elbows. “Okay, yes I did look at you when I said that, because I would be okay with losing my virginity to you, Xavier.”

With the words officially out of her mouth, Xavier couldn’t help but pounce on her. He pressed his lips against hers, stopping whatever else was about to be sad. He got up onto the bed and positioned himself so that he was straddling her still covered body. He kissed her intensely and passionately, but not so much as to rush her or make her feel uncomfortable.

She settled into the kiss very quickly. It wasn’t the first time she had made out with someone. Again, she had been a teenager with wild hormones once. Just because she hadn’t gone all the way with anyone didn’t mean that she hadn’t at least got to second base a couple of times. Of course, she felt guilty afterwards because of her upbringing, but it always felt good in the moment. And, in this moment, it felt especially good to be kissing Xavier’s soft, plump lips like this.

But when she heard the sound of one of the girls rolling over in their beds, she quickly put a hand against his chest and pushed him back. “We can’t do this here. What if they wake up?”

“It’s so dark, they wouldn’t even know,” Xavier said. “And we’ll be quiet. Well, I will be anyways. I don’t know about you.”

She wanted to glare at him, but he quickly ducked his head down to start kissing her neck. She bit her lip to stop a moan from erupting from her mouth as she felt a tingling sensation between her legs.

She couldn’t lie, the thought of losing her virginity in her camp counsellor bunk while her other camp counsellors slept did sound very risky and naughty. It also sounded very cliché, which was what she wanted. If she was going to be giving into sin this summer, she may as well do it in the most cliché way possible.

Xavier slipped under the covers with her and continued to kiss down her body. He kissed around the exposed areas of her neck and chest, not wanting to push too far just yet by trying to get under her shirt. Even though he was trying to get into her pants, he still wanted to be a gentleman about it.

(Y/N) looked down at him as he disappeared under the blankets. She was confused at first. If he was planning to take her virginity, shouldn’t he be up here with her? Wasn’t that how sex worked?

“What are you doing?” she whispered.

“I want to make sure you’re ready before we get into it,” he responded. “I want to make you feel good first. Can I take these shorts off?”

She nodded, but then realized he couldn’t see her and said, “Yes.”

He curled his fingers around the waistband of her pants and pulled them, and her panties, down in one swift movement. She raised her hips so he could pull them down as far as her ankles. Despite the blankets still covering her lower half, she felt very naked. Even if no one else could see her if they happened to look over, she knew that Xavier could see her. And right now, he was very, very close to her.

She gasped and quickly clapped a hand over her mouth when she felt something wet against her core. “What was that?!”

“My tongue.”

(Y/N) quickly covered her mouth when she felt it against her again. She had never heard of this form of sexual intimacy before. When she was in high school, her mom had warned her about all of the “impure ways” boys would try to use her, which included them wanting to stick their penises in her mouth, but no one had ever mentioned a guy doing the same thing to her. It felt dirty, but also it felt so good.

She muffled her moans with both hands as Xavier continued to lick from her clit down to her tight, untouched hole. A wetness began pooling between her legs that he lapped up as if it were the first drink of water he had in weeks. Her body shuddered with pleasure every time his tongue connected with her. It was better than she ever could’ve imagined, and that just made her even more excited for the actual sex.

Something began to build in her stomach. A feeling she had never felt before. It felt like someone was inside of her, pushing something down from her stomach to get it out of her. She tried to tap Xavier to tell him, but she was afraid to lift her hand from her mouth in case she made a loud noise and woke the others.

“I can feel that you’re tightening up,” he said. “That means you’re getting close. Lean into it, beautiful. Let it happen. Cum all over my mouth.”

It was enough to send her toppling over the edge. She pressed her hands against her mouth as hard as she could as a scream of pleasure ripped from her lips. Xavier’s fingertips dug into her hips as he held her to him, taking in every bit of her juices that he could. He knew it was her first time having an orgasm, but he didn’t expect for her to become so wet and to finish so quickly just from his tongue. His dick twitched with excitement at the thought of being inside of her.

With one last kiss to her clit, Xavier began kissing up her stomach, lifting her shirt slightly as he left messy, wet marks over her belly, her chest, her neck, and finally getting to her face. Through the white moonlight, (Y/N) could see a glisten on his mouth and chin. Between her legs throbbed as she realized that was her slick on him.

He gently moved his hands away from her mouth so he could kiss her. The taste of his lips were much different, and she knew that was because that was the taste of her on him. It was all just so hot that she almost couldn’t believe any of this was happening. She was sure she was dreaming it all, that she’d wake up in this bed alone and unsatisfied.

Xavier reached under the covers to start pulling down his own pants, but hesitated a moment. He pulled away from the kiss, (Y/N) trying to follow him with her own lips.

“Wait,” he said. “Before we go all the way, I have to check in one last time. Are you okay with this, (Y/N)?”

She nodded frantically. “Yes,” she breathed. “Yes, please Xavier. Please.”

“Okay, but if you want to stop at all you tell me, okay? I know I just warmed you up, but it is going to hurt at first either way. If it’s too much, we stop. Okay?”

“Okay,” she said.

He sat up and pulled his pants down around his knees. His dick sprang free from its confides, standing painfully at attention in the moonlight. (Y/N) looked at it with wide eyes. She wasn’t sure what to expect from the first penis she’d see, but it was certainly a big one. She wondered how it would even fit inside of her.

Xavier placed his hands under her thighs and pulled them up so they were wrapped around his hips. The ran the head of his dick through the slick that was still left over from him having been between her legs. She whimpered at the feeling, quickly putting a hand over her mouth again. Both of them glanced over to make sure Brooke and Montana were still peacefully sleeping.

“I’m going to put it in now,” Xavier told her. “I’ll do it very slowly, okay?”

She nodded. He thrust his hips forwards a little, pushing just the tip of his cock into her. He hissed at the tight feeling around his already sensitive tip. He wasn’t sure how he’d ever last when she was already gripping him so tightly and he barely had the head of his dick inside of her.

(Y/N) gasped into her hand at the feeling. Xavier pushed until his head was completely inside of her, stretching her out. The stretch was definitely a painful, burning feeling. It was like her body knew he wasn’t supposed to be in there and wanted him out, but she wanted him in there. She had fantasized about this since the first time she had ever laid her eyes on Xavier - a time she knew he had definitely forgotten.

He lick his thumb and lowered it between them, pressing it against her clit and gently rubbing circles into the bundle of nerves. (Y/N) whimpered at the gesture.

“This should help make it feel better,” he told her. “Just until I can get all the way inside of you, okay?”

She nodded again. At this point, talking was definitely not happening. Any noise that were to come out of her mouth would just be a moan or a whimper of pleasure, and she wasn’t sure she’d be able to keep the volume down without her hands over her mouth.

Xavier continued to push inside of her while gently rubbing circles into her clit. He looked between them and watched as his dick disappeared into her. His bottom lip was pulled between his teeth, trying to stop any sounds that might come out unintentionally. It felt so good inside of her that he already did not want the this to end. He just wanted to stay inside of her forever, feel her warm walls gripping around him, look at her beautiful face as it contorted in pure ecstasy.

When he was buried all the way inside of her, he leaned down and took her hand from her mouth so he could kiss her. He continued to rub her clit, but he kept himself deep inside of her so she could get used to his size. She moaned into the kiss, her body inadvertently jerking from the pleasure she was feeling. The motion caused Xavier’s hips to move forward to fill her again. It was just a slight movement, but it was enough that it drove Xavier wild.

“Do that again,” she whispered against his lips.

“What?”

“The way you moved your hips. Do it again, please. It felt really good.”

He smiled down at her and gently grinded his hips against hers. Her mouth hung open, but no sounds were coming now. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head, and that was all Xavier needed to tell him he was doing a good job.

He took his hand from between her legs so he could fully press himself against her. He captured her lips with his again and continued to gently thrust into her. The slow sensation was enough to make his orgasm build at a quicker rate than he would’ve liked, but he knew he wasn’t going to finish until she did. He wanted to feel her cum around him at least once before he would let himself finish.

Luckily, he could feel that familiar tightening feeling; where her walls started grasping at him tighter than before and he could feel her stomach tensing beneath him.

“Remember what I said earlier,” he whispered. “Just let it happen. Let me feel you cum all over this dick.”

She nodded, soft whimpers coming from her mouth. It wasn’t too long afterwards that he felt her clenching around him so tightly that he was sure she was going to rip his dick off just with her pussy. He kissed her hard, muffling her cries of pleasure. His hips were stilled as he let her ride out her climax, knowing that if he were to move anymore he’d definitely cum, too, and he wasn’t going to cum inside of her. That was too dangerous. He didn’t want to be responsible for any sort of backlash from her parents once she got home from camp, even if that ship had already sailed.

When the feeling of her quivering became too much, Xavier quickly pulled out of her and sat up on his knees again. He pushed her tank top up just enough to expose her belly and the underside of her boobs. It only took a few pumps of his hand, slick from her juices over his dick, before he was exploding over her stomach. He threw his head back, letting out a quiet groan.

They both were still, panting to catch their breaths. Xavier looked down at (Y/N), now covered in his seat, and he felt his dick twitch again. If he could take a picture of this moment, he would. And he would’ve stuck it in his wallet so he could look at it all the damn time.

He reached for her discarded towel from earlier that night and wiped her off. She hissed when he wiped between her legs, and he mumbled as soft, “Sorry.”

They both pulled their pants back up and got themselves straightened away before Xavier laid down next to her. He figured he could spare a few moments just to cuddle up close to her before he would have to run back to his cabin and his bed to try and get some sleep. (Y/N) rolled into his chest, taking in his warmth and the scent of him that was quickly becoming her favorite scent; the smell of his hair paste and the sweet cologne he wore. She wished she could combine them together into a perfume that she would wear for the rest of her life.

It was silent for some time except for the soft breathing of her bunkmates and the occasional snore that came from Brooke. Once her head had finally stopped feeling lightheaded, (Y/N) decided it was time to confess to Xavier.

“I’ve seen you before, you know.”

He moved so he could look down at her. “What?”

“I was in one of your aerobics classes,” she said. “Not very long ago, maybe a few months ago? One of my friends signed us up because she heard it was a good way to stay in shape.”

“I...I feel so bad to say that I don’t...remember,” Xavier said. He was sure he would’ve remembered seeing this beautiful specimen in one of his classes. He saw so many faces every day, but he always remembered the prettiest ones, and (Y/N) was definitely a face to remember.

“I wasn’t in it long enough to be remembered,” she admitted. “We walked in, and I saw you and...well...I started feeling...impure things when I saw you in your tight suit doing all those hip movements and stuff. You were in the middle of another class so we had to wait. Unfortunately, we didn’t get to start our class because my friend’s parents walked in to bring her something she had forgotten and saw the way everyone was dressed and how they were all moving. They were appalled. They dragged us out and brought us home. Told my parents, who grounded me for a week because of it. They claimed that we were trying to behind their backs, but I truly had no idea what I was in for when I agreed to go.”

Xavier cringed. He felt terrible hearing the way (Y/N) must’ve lived her entire life. Having to be afraid of mistakenly doing something “impure” or “sinful” and getting punished for it, even if the “sinful” things were just basic things that happen in life. He wished he could’ve taken away all those bad times from her memory and replace them with good ones; memories where (Y/N) could just be a normal person and not have to worry about God’s wrath or whatever they said in churches.

“That’s why I glanced at you when we were talking about sex,” (Y/N) continued. “Because...because I had fantasies about this very situation happening since the day I first saw you.”

Xavier couldn’t help but smirk proudly at that. “And did the actual thing live up to your expectations?”

She giggled. “Majorly.”

“Good. I’m glad to hear that.”

There was another moment of silence before Xavier added, “It doesn’t have to be a one time thing, though.”

(Y/N) turned to rest her chin on his chest. “What do you mean?”

“I mean...maybe, once the summer ends, we could go on some proper dates. Maybe...actually be a couple?”

(Y/N)’s eyes twinkled in the moonlight as she looked at him. He smiled at how beautiful she was, and at how lucky he was to be the one she was looking at.

“Really?” she asked.

“Only if you want to,” he responded.

Her reply was by attacking his face with kisses. He chuckled as she left not one inch of his face unkissed, ending with her lips against his.

“That’s a yes, by the way,” she said.

“I could tell,” he said. “I should go before I get in trouble for being here.”

“I guess you should.”

He didn’t move to leave right away. He continued to gaze into her eyes for a moment longer, before kissing her one last time and getting up from her bed. He couldn’t help but looking back at her as he made his way towards the door. She was still smiling at him as he finally allowed the door to swing shut behind him, obstructing his view of her.

He couldn’t help but stand outside the door for a moment, letting out a long, happy sigh, before making his way back to the boy’s cabin.

I’ve never written poc!reader before so I hope this is okay! I usually don’t describe anything with my general x reader fics because I want them to be inclusive for everyone, but I don’t mind writing specific ones like this when asked!

[lowlights]

Since my fyp is full of Pedro's starbies order, can you pls fill it with the orders of his characters? Also, why does Ezra get something piled with cream and caramel?

Thank you, get well soon angel!

Literally, nothing would make me happier. Let's dive in.

Din - If Din could walk into a Starbies, he would get an Americano with a splash of heavy cream. More indulgent time-wise than a simple little coffee, but still quite utilitarian.

Joel- Joel would love a cold brew, I think. Just straight up, nothing added. He would roll his eyes at the people in front of him with a complicated order.

Dieter- Speaking of complicated orders. Dieter would be the one most likely to try whatever drink is the latest "hack" on tiktok. He doesn't care how stupid it sounds to order it, bc he always makes an assistant do it. If he's doing his own ordering, I think he gets Pedro's drink.

Javi G- Javi G loves a seasonal drink. In the winters he is going for a chestnut praline latte, and in the summers he likes an iced macchiato. He does not like pumpkin spice lattes.

Marcus M- Marcus wants an iced dirty chai no matter what time of year it is. In a very reasonable size, though. Never a venti.

Max Lord- Max is the cappuccino sort- fancy, to the point- but he does bring you all the white mochas you want. This is a take that was for @coastielaceispunk and it is now my canon.

Frankie- I think Frankie would get a sweet cream cold brew. It's straight forward enough to order but would feel like a little treat. The guys might give him shit for it, but he doesn't care. His daughter always gets a steamed vanilla oatmilk.

Dave York- I think Carol would turn Dave onto the Strawberry Acai Refreshers and he would never look back. He gets them made with water, though, not lemonade. Too sweet.

Ezra - Caramel frappuccinos all the way. Extra toppings. He always moans sinfully when he gets one, no shame.

Jack- Our cowboy is going to order an Irish Cream Cold Brew and then drop a little bit of whiskey into the cup while he winks at you. Truth be told, he likes any good, strong coffee.

Javi P- "Whatever is brewing behind you that's strongest." He is not fussy in the slightest.

Pero- Pero thinks the menu is stupid and too big. He likes ordering the pastries while you pick out the drinks. You have found that he likes plain lattes, matcha tea lattes, and hot chocolate. He won't admit to the last one.

Max P- Max is getting a pink drink, all the way. It's ridiculous and he doesn't care. Let the office plebs drink shitty, breakroom coffee. Max is living his best (un)life.

Marcus P- I get big-time London Fog vibes from Marcus. Very cozy, very warm. Marcus has morning vibes, I don't know any other way to put it.

Oberyn- Our sweet Prince is getting a Golden Turmeric Latte. Oat milk, perfectly light espresso, and a mix of warming spices sweetened with honey. It's sunshine in a cup.

Zach- I really love the idea of a Flat White for Zach. It's special and comforting without being fussy or sweet, which I think is what he would like. He deserves whatever he wants, though.

[pixiemunsons]

sweet birthday wishes (em)

twenty-one should always be one to remember

a/n; i need to get moving on some requests i just really liked the idea of this:)

3.4k words, best friends to lovers (would it be mine if it wasn't), f!reader, blowjobs/throat fucking, f! masturbation, reader likes rock music, eddie has an epiphany™, lovey shit, no use of y/n or reader description, cringey ending soz, eddie is an aries because i say so, no spoilers

eddie had never much liked his birthday.

it was just another day. he used to get excited as a kid, listening to the others talk about the cake and presents waiting for them at home. but his parents never really bothered, and by the time he ended up at his uncle wayne’s at eleven, he was already jaded from years of shitty birthdays. wayne always tried; got him a cake, even if there were no candles, and eddie always found a new tape or pack of guitar picks on his bed or, if there’d been some spare money that month, a band shirt he’d been looking at for a while. he never told anyone when it was, either. no one really asked. apart from you.

you’d flounced into his life at fourteen, a transfer from another school, and the first question you’d asked was his star sign. when he told you he didn’t know, you’d insisted on plotting out his birth chart. the next morning, you’d plonked yourself on his desk, popping your bubblegum and grinning. aries, munson. you’d said. fiery, wild, secret softie. sounds about right.

you’d been attached at the hip ever since. and every year, on march 30th, eddie got two birthday presents.

───

‘eddieeddieeddie,’ you were singing from the front door of the trailer, and you smiled when wayne opened it, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

‘hey, sweetheart, he’s in his room. see if you can wake the lazy shit up, i’ve been tryin’ since ten.’ you grinned up at the older man. you had a lot of respect for wayne; not many men with lives as busy as his would take on their fucked-up younger brother’s kid and let him stay for ten years with his loud music and unusual habits. but wayne always treated eddie like his own, and in time, you too. you spent more time with eds than anyone else, and the two of them had cheered louder than anyone else when you’d walked the stage at your graduation. you and wayne returned the favour at eddie’s own two years later.

‘i’ll get him up. i’ve got his present in my pocket, might work. don’t expect him home tonight.’ wayne raised his eyebrows, and you rolled your eyes.

‘i’m takin’ him somewhere. i’m sure he’ll tell you all about it later.’

‘sure, sure. you kids have fun and, uh … be safe, yeah? look after each other. gotta go, see you later, sweetheart.’ with a ruffle of your hair, he was out the door.

you pushed the door to eddie’s room open slowly, and saw that he was asleep in bed. the covers were wrapped around his waist, chest and stomach exposed, and you traced his tattoos with your eyes. you’d seen him shirtless before, but it wasn’t often you got him still, quiet, and it was nice to just watch sometimes. you liked eddie best when he was at peace, when there was no one around but you two. you watched as he cracked first one eye, then the other, opening them slowly as he focused in the bright room.

‘oh, hey, babe.’ the nickname sent a shiver up your spine. his voice was so deep and rough in the morning, and you couldn’t deny it added to the attraction immensely. ‘come cuddle.’

you sighed down at him, standing above his bed and folding your arms.

‘eds, i’ve got your birthday p-‘

‘sweetheart, be quiet and come get in bed. it’s my birthday, i decide what we do.’ you rolled your eyes at him again, feeling the unmistakable sensation of blood rising to your cheeks. eddie never failed to get your pulse racing, even if he didn’t know it. a long, pale arm rose from under the covers, wrapping around your upper thighs and yanking you down to the bed with a squeal bursting from your lips. eddie settled you half on top of him, pulling your face down to lie on his chest as your legs fell either side of his knees.

’s’long as it’s nothing too dirty,’ you smiled, and he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

‘i was hoping blowjob, but i’ll settle for a handy.’ you mock gasped, tugging on a strand of his hair that led next to your cheek.

‘you’re disgusting. i have your real present in my pocket. and don’t even think about rooting around in my jeans for it, munson,’ you warned as you felt his hand creep down from your waist to your hip.

‘wouldn’t dream of it. is that a guns n roses shirt?’ eddie sat up, his interest piqued, and you looked down at him with a sly smirk on your face. you were all too aware of your position; his hands on your waist, your legs almost straddling his. you reached for your bag, where the first part of his present lay. it’d taken you months working at the local diner to save up for this, months of shitty bosses and creepy old men and irritating waspish middle aged women. but eddie would only be twenty-one once, and you knew that this was going to be his best birthday yet, if not ever.

you dragged out the matching shirt you’d got for him, and he looked at it almost in awe. they were impossible to get in hawkins; you’d had to travel two towns over to pick them up from a record store the two of you visited sometimes, and eddie knew how much you hated driving. like a kid at christmas, he threw it straight on, marvelling at it.

‘babe, as much as i fuckin’ love it, and i really do love it, you must have paid a fortune for-‘ you cut him off with a finger to his lips.

‘shut up, there’s more. and before you complain at me, it’s my money, i’m a big girl, i can do what i want with it, okay?’ eddie nodded his head solemnly, watching again as you pulled three slips of paper out of your pocket. one was a receipt for a motel in indianapolis, and he looked over it, puzzled.

‘this is for tonight,’ he looked up at you, a stupid grin on his face and his eyebrows waggling. ‘you takin’ me away so you can have your way with me?’

you rolled your eyes yet again. ‘you wish, munson. no, they’re for this. hopin’ you don’t have any plans for tonight?’

you handed him the last two pieces of paper. six months of hard work had gone into these scraps of card. you’d driven the eighty miles to indy three months ago just to get in line to buy them, and almost cried when you’d gotten to the front of the queue and they had two left. ever since they’d been kept carefully pressed in a book on your desk at home, checked on every week to make sure they were still okay, still there. you chewed on your lip nervously as he read it aloud.

‘guns n roses appetite for destruction tour 1988… baby, you gotta be shittin’ me.’ you opened your mouth to speak, but suddenly you were being lifted off the bed. your legs were still wrapped around his waist, hands on his shoulders, and you yelped as eddie stood with you cradled in his arms. he was warm, chest pressed to your front, and his sweatpants were low-slung enough that you could see the edge of his boxers.

‘you like it, then?’ you looked into his eyes hopefully, and his mouth dropped open.

‘like it? like it? i fucking love it. i can’t believe you went to this much trouble, you spent this much money!’ you opened your mouth to protest, but he gave you a look so stern you shut it again.

‘you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,’ he whispered, pressing a kiss to your forehead and grinning at the dopey smile that made its way onto your face.

‘we better get ready and go.’

───

the journey there was about two hours, and eddie insisted on driving, taking the shitty van. he brought his heaviest coolest metal mixtape, which you’d etched sarcastically on the side in a thick sharpie. he was wearing the shirt you’d bought for him, even though you’d insisted that it was fine if he didn’t wanna match (i want everyone to know i’m there with you, babe, he’d smiled with a hand on your thigh, and you thought you’d melt into the seat if he carried on). where he had on his ripped jeans, you’d elected for black denim shorts and tights; you didn’t want to match exactly, and anyway, they went better with your black reeboks.

he’d also insisted on getting the beers when you got to the concert. after all, it was a couple more months until you’d be twenty-one, and he couldn’t let you spend any more money than you already had. by the time the support act had finished, eddie was practically vibrating with excitement. the hideout was good for a shitty bar, but he’d never been around so many people like him. boys with long hair, leather jackets and tattoos, girls with neon hair and nose rings and skimpy ripped clothes and he’d never felt so present, so welcomed, so home. when the belting vocals of axl rose had boomed out from the speakers, he’d lost your hand in the crowd, and when he finally found you you’d spent fifteen minutes convincing him he didn’t need to put you on his shoulders to keep you safe.

with you under his arm, eddie realised something he thought he might have known a long time. he had had this feeling brewing deep in his stomach for a while, bubbling away under the surface. he’d felt it when you’d sat on his desk at fourteen, when you’d appeared at the first corroded coffin show, when you’d gone swimming in lover’s lake after prom (he hated the idea of the whole night, but he’d saved up to get you a corsage with real flowers). he’d felt it every time you’d come to the trailer on his birthday with a hand-baked cupcake and a single candle, and he felt it now, in that crowded, sweaty arena with shitty speakers as you belted out sweet child o’mine to him.

eddie munson was desperately, hopelessly, frantically in love with you.

‘she's got a smile that it seems to me, reminds me of childhood memories… c’mon eds, sing!’ you had hold of both of his hands, swaying your hips and moving his arms to the rhythm. he’d stopped singing along a few minutes earlier, and you’d been enjoying the way his chest had pressed to your back as he’d swayed you both to the music. a smile split over your face as he sang along to the next part; she takes me away to that special place, and if i stare too long, i'd probably break down and cry. but his voice was low, almost murmuring. you could only hear him because he dipped his head down to rest next to yours, his hands on your waist, an awkward imitation of a slow dance in the middle of a lively crowd. you peered up at him, eyebrows furrowed, and he reached up a thumb to smooth your forehead down.

‘you okay, e-‘

‘i’m in love with you.’

your mouth dropped open in a gasp, and he moved his hand down your face, stroking gently down your temples to your cheek, fingers curling around your jaw.

‘loved you a long time. i can’t believe you did all this for me. i should’ve told you earlier, but i’m telling you now. i really love you.’

if someone asked eddie later in life about the concerts he’d been to, he would remember almost every single moment of every single one. he could tell you which model guitar had been played, the whole setlist, who the touring members had been. but if you asked him about guns n roses, all he’d be able to tell you is that the last song was sweet child o’ mine, and that it was his favourite song, because it was the song that played when you’d grasped him by the worn collar of his leather jacket and pulled his face to yours and kissed him like your life depended on it.

a couple of people whooped around you as the song worked up to its chorus, but you really couldn’t bring yourself to care. maybe it was the fact that you knew no one here. maybe it was the crowd of people who were just like you, stopping you from sticking out like a sore thumb. maybe it was the beer, or how drunk eddie’s words had gotten you. but you kissed him long and hard and deep, drawing away only when the song finished to look at his flushed face and swollen lips and love-dazed eyes.

‘shall we go back to the motel?’

───

he had you against the door almost as soon as it shut, a messy tangle of limbs and lips and giggles. his hips were pressed to yours and his lips were on your neck, sucking a mark into the tender flesh at your throat, and he had a knee between your thighs. you couldn’t help but rock them once, ripping a whine from your throat as you reluctantly broke contact to drag him to the bed. you’d booked a twin, but there was just one double in the middle. not that you were complaining. you leant over to where he was sitting next to you, cupping his jaw much like he had yours earlier.

‘i love you too, eddie. and i’m not just sayin’ it, i really do. i love you so much.’ you pulled him in for another kiss, and this time he slipped his tongue into your mouth, rolling it over your own as you moaned into his mouth. your fingers slipped down, one hand curling into his shirt and the other resting on his shoulder as his own drifted up your waist to your ribcage, fingertips stroking the wire of your bra under your top.

‘i got one last present for you, munson,’ you whispered, and eddie gulped at the look in your eyes.

‘you only look at me like that when you got a dangerous idea, babe. i don’t like this,’ he was kissing you between words, obviously not quite meaning what he was saying.

‘oh, no, eds. think you’ll like this one.’

you climbed off the bed, and he frowned at the lack of contact. ‘’s a special present, eddie. really… personal. intimate.’ slowly, you shuffled between his spread legs, reaching up to his handcuff belt buckle, and as soon as your nails clinked against the metal, eddie’s eyes shot wide open.

‘babe, y’don’t gotta-‘ you furrowed your brows again, nails digging gently into the skin of his thigh.

‘i know i don’t gotta. but i’d like to,’ you murmured, pulling his belt through the loops. he studied the way you looked at the buckle, the wonder in your eyes, and it sent a shudder through him. next time, definitely next time. you popped the button of his jeans, yanking them down to his knees and taking his boxers with them. eddie shrugged off his jacket, trying to appear casual despite wanting to bury his face in his hands. he was already halfway hard just from kissing you, and his hips bucked against your fingertips when you ghosted them over the tip of him.

you leant forward, pressing a kiss to the smattering of hair that led from his belly button down to his pelvis, grasping his cock in your right hand.

‘you’re so pretty, eddie,’ you moaned, and one of his hands came up involuntarily to rest in your hair. he was going to take it back, didn’t want to put any pressure on you, but then you nuzzled your head into his palm and squeezed his cock gently and he moaned so wantonly it had you wanting more. you pursed your lips, dribbling a little over his wet tip and smearing it with your thumb, and he wound his hand further into the strands of hair at the base of your neck.

‘baby, please,’ he whined. what kind of friend would you be if you didn’t oblige?

you took the head into your mouth, letting it sit heavy on your tongue and listening to the deep breath eddie sucked in above you. you could taste the pre cum seeping from his tip and licked it down, swallowing around his cock head as you started to move down it, sucking your way deeper until he hit the back of your throat with a yowl of your name, a tug of your hair. you could hear eddie above you, ready to apologise, to tell you he didn’t mean to, and his hips started to draw back. your hands flew to his thighs, gripping them to keep his cock in place in your mouth, and he groaned desperately.

‘i swear, you’re fuckin’ perfect, you’re so fucking amazing.’ his hips were twitching, settling into a rhythm of their own, and the feeling of his head pressing against the back of your throat had your pussy throbbing, wet heat soaking your panties. both of his hands were gripping onto your head now, one stroking your cheek with his thumb whilst the other guided your head with his hips. slowly, inconspicuously, you pulled down the zipper of your shorts, leading a hand down into your panties and finally touching yourself where you were most desperate.

it was like a cool wave washing over you, rubbing your clit at the same speed eddie was fucking into your mouth, and you timed your breaths so you could take him deeper and deeper until finally your nose was pressed against the curly hairs at his pelvis. eddie cried out, and if you didn’t know better you’d say it sounded almost painful. his eyes were screwed shut, hips thrusting lowly into your throat to keep himself deep, and the combination of his sounds and the stretch of your throat and your fingers on your clit had you moaning around his cock. his eyes shot open at the vibrations, looking down at your face and then further, down to where your wrist had disappeared into your pants.

‘oh my god, are you- you’re fucking- christ, i’m gonna fuckin’ marry you one day,’ he was talking shit, rambling like he did when he was nervous, all the while his hips thrusting faster and faster into your wet mouth.

‘you gonna make yourself come for me, babe? ‘m so close, gonna cum in that pretty little mouth.’ you nodded to the best of your abilities, eyes streaming as you fought back your gag reflex, and the two of you started moving faster in tandem.

eddie’s ruts were getting faster, deeper, buried deep in your neck and panting above you, his hips almost off the bed now as he searched for his release. your fingers were curled deep inside you, palm rubbing deliciously against your clit as you ground down on them. just as you felt yourself slipping over the edge, eddie gripped your jaw, stilling deep in your mouth with a whine of your name, hot spurts of cum rolling down your tongue and throat, and you swallowed around his cock.

‘c’mon babe, cum so pretty for me, so beautiful, isn’t that right?’ you didn’t understand how eddie still had the energy to dirty talk you, his face bright red and wincing at his overstimulated dick still being suckled on. he looked so beautiful after he came; sweaty and glowy and looking at you like you were the best thing he’d ever seen. your orgasm hit you like a truck, gripping eddie’s thigh as you cried out on your fingers, riding it out on your own hand. eddie stroked your face through it, combing through your messy hair with a look that could only be described as adoration.

‘happy birthday, eddie,’ you croaked, wiping your teary eyes and snotty nose. he laughed then, a real genuine laugh, sinking down to his knees in front of you.

‘it’s been a real fuckin’ good birthday, babe. and you? you’re the best present of all.'

[bvanes]

Good Little, Liar

Literal sadist😳Toji Fushiguro x bratty fem!reader

warnings: 18+ smut, ABSOLUTE FILTH,  cussing, reader is a masochist, dacryphilia, manhandling, choking, pain kink, daddy kink, impact play, degrading pet names “whore, slut”, use of “princess”, Toji threatens to kill you like once👩🏻‍🦯, no prep, mentions of blood, stomach bulge, size kink, mind break, dumbification, no aftercare :/, angsty at the end.

authors note: 2k words, UNEDITED holy fuck this was supposed to be a short drabble but I got carried away. this is completely self indulgent, it so nasty literally how did I even think of this??? I cannot get this shitty ass dad out of my head... literally just ib this one pic🤒

You convinced him alright. Convinced him so much that he whole heartedly believed he picked up and took home a totally different person tonight. You and Toji and been together a couple of times prior, nothing too serious, went out for a drink, maybe kissed, probably rode him in his backseat. Each and every time you put on your good girl façade, always so sweet, and submissive. Following his each every command. Taking exactly what he gives and thanking him for it every time.

He thought you were sent from the gods, how could he have found someone like you, who fit just perfect under his thumb, so willing to do anything just for his attention. Yet here you were, same pretty little girl, same pretty little face, telling him “no” ???.

You were straddling his lap, on his rough leather couch, the tv lowly played a old movie which by now has left both of your minds. The dim light from the kitchen buzzing due to the bulbs starting to burn out, which completely unfazed Toji, but left you slightly annoyed.

“No?” He scoffed.

You adjusted your hands to fit onto his built shoulders had his began gripping you hips tighter and tighter.

“Nope, I don’t want my jaw to hurt in the morning” you gave him a coy smile, while tilting your head down to stare at him through your lashes.

His right hand came up and  roughly gripping your jaw. “Does it look like I fucking care?” He practically growled in your face. In all honesty he was more confused than pissed, of course he was going to immediately put you in your place, but you had him genuinely concerned, we’re you always like this? Did he do something wrong?? You tried to shake you head but due to his grip you could only move so far.

“Now, on. your. knees.” He released his grip only for his hand to move to the back of you neck waiting for you to comply. You slowly leaned in kissing the scar on his lip to kiss down to his jaw then leaning back up to whisper two little words that could make or break your night, probably both.

“Make me”

the millisecond your breathy whisper hit his ear it was over, you were done for. Say goodbye to you legs you’re probably never walking again.

The force in which he pulled you hair made you shriek. He stood up tossing you over his shoulder furiously stomping into the bedroom. He threw you onto his mattress, you couldn’t help but giggle, this is exactly what you wanted it only added to his rage. He threw off his shirt, then gripped your ankles pulling you to the edge of the bed. He was immediately on top of you, his knees digging into your calves holding down your legs, has one hand gripped both of your wrists and the other tightly around your throat. You were already breathing hard due to anticipation but now he practically had you life in his hands.

“What the fuck did you do with my good little girl hmm?” His voice darkened by lust.

“I don’t know who your talking about” you laughed again, his grip tightening around your throat.

Before you could make another comment his knee was pushed up between your thighs has the hand holding your wrist bunched your shirt up exposing your bra. He ripped the right strap off  making you choke out a gasp, then he slid the rest of garment out from under you to throw it across the room. Toji mouth immediately on your breast teasing you to no avail.

“M..m..more” you choked out, you were in no right to be making demands but you really wanted to see how angry you could make him. His only reply was catching you nipple on a canine and biting down hard. You almost screamed, you thought he probably wanted to see you bleed.

He continued his teasing, you wanted to keep this game up for longer but your vision was starting to get hazy from the lack of oxygen. You started pawing at his shoulders, while wrapping you legs around his waist, quietly pleading, “I’m.. I’m sorry... T...oji..I’m...” the hand on your throat let go to harshly slap your thigh making you yelp in pain once again.

“That’s not my name. C’mon what is it?”... you met his harsh gaze, maybe just a little longer... “Toj-“ he slapped you across the face. You didn’t make a single sound but the tears pricking your eyes said enough. Lucky for you, Toji’s into that.

He met your lips in a sloppy kiss shoving his tongue down your throat. You tapped his collar bone silently signaling you needed to breathe, once he moved away he removed his pants and helped you wiggled out of yours.

“Who knew you’re such a fucking brat” he slapped your thigh again watching you squirm. His hand hovered over your already drenched cunt, as he starred right into your eyes. The flush on your chest started moving to you face. Why were suddenly getting all worked up now??

“Are you gonna give in already?, gonna be my good little whore again?”, you wanted to answer no again because he looked so hot when he was angry. The words got caught in your throat and all you could do was nod.

He lightly slapped your clit “Hmm need to hear it little girl, tell me who owns you?”

“you do....daddy” you admitted, you tilted your down, you couldn’t meet his eyes.

His calloused palm came up and caressed your jaw leaning in closer. “Are you sorry? Tell daddy your sorry for being such a brat.” He mocked making a fake pout. “M’sorry daddy, j..just wanted to make you angry.”

“I know you did princess...” He reeled his hand back to full on slap your cunt, squirming up the bed you let out a pathetic whine.

He slapped three, four more times now, and the tears started running down your face. He moved to tuck his face in the nape of your neck, leaving deep red bruises as he moved down your torso.

The muscles in his back rippled as he held himself up but the palms of his hands. God he looked so..big... not sure if he would ever explicitly admit the he liked how he overpowered you in almost every single way...but you liked it too.

There was no way you could’ve played you act for any longer, he would’ve choked you out. And would’ve done it with ease since his hand was bigger than your actual face. You knew how dangerous this was, yet still tilled wanted to play fire, but alas here you were once again, bowing to his every command.

“D..d..ddaddy..p..please..”

“Aw there she is” he lifted his face from you chest giving you one of his sickening grins. “I thought he wanted to play the little bitchy brat huh? What happened?” His voice dripping with mockery.

“N..need..you”

“How princess, you know daddy can’t help if you don-“

“please, PLEASE! need daddy’s cock! ….” you were getting impatient now, was this the most he was going to? you expected at lea-.

The scream ripped from you chest was silenced by the strong hand around your throat in a death like grip. He shoved his whole cock inside your tight little cunt, there was no prep not even when you were on the couch, he didn’t he stuff his fingers in your little cunt to stretch you out. You knew he was big, since the time he shoved his entire cock down your throat but feeling it twitch inside you making you feel like your being absolutely split open on Toji’s cock.

He gave a deep throaty chuckle, you knew how much he was enjoying this. New tears pricked from your eyes, wetting your cheeks, he moved his free hand pinching your clit between his fore finger and thumb, watching your eyes roll to the back of your head. The hand on your throat gripped your hair moving so his face was flushed with yours, spatting in your ear, “You don’t cum until I say, understand?” All you could do was whine in response.

“I give you rules for a reason break them and I’ll kill you where you lay.” A threat, empty of not, it had you clenching hard around his dick. You glanced down to where you were connect, to be met with a indescribable bulge in your lower stomach.

Dear god, bless your poor cervix, he hasn’t even started moving yet  and you could feel the intrusion all the same. He started rocking his hips slight against yours, at least he was giving you sometime to adjust, all while staring two lust filled hole into your head as you writhed and whimpered underneath him. He pulled his hips back to pull out but when he’s met with the slightest sign of blood mixed with the milky white arousal coating his dick, he could’ve came right there.

He gripped your hips sinking right back into you making you scream once again. “DA-DADDY..fuck..shit..” the tears running down you face only egged him on.

“So god damn tight, maybe I should never prep you again, if you’re gonna feel like this every time” he groaned. “Such dirty little words, I would’ve punished you if you didn’t already dig yourself a grave”.

The pained moans falling from your lips were music to ears. Profanities fell from his as he continued a rough pace, your tits bouncing with every thrust. He had fucked you completely and utterly dumb, no coherent thought where making their way to you consciousness. Only daddy, Toji, and cock.

You have gotten numb to the pain but right now you were putting all you effort into not focusing on the way his dick was bruising you cervix, trying so hard not to come just from the way his pelvic bone catches your clit. You didn’t realize he was speaking to you till he lightly slapped your cheek. “Aw look at you, you’ve gone all stupid. Too bad, if you played nice I would’ve let you cum by now.” The malice in his voice made you clench around his cock, squeezing more of your arousal on his thighs. “ at least you’re taking me so well.” His breath hitched as his thrust stared getting sloppy.

“Holy fuck, keep squeezing just like that-“ you saw his abs clench, “remember you don’t cum till I say” his eyes flicked right back into yours you nodded, more like messily rolled your head around. “Holy fuck princess...” he was practically already using your cunt like a toy. With a last few harsh thrust he filled you cunt to the brim with hot, thick cum.

The groans falling from his mouth sounded almost angelic. All you could let out was a low whine met with heavy breathing. The sweat dripping down his toned chest shone from the dim light of the lamp on the corner the side table. He pulled out watching his cum drip out of you down to your asshole and onto his dark sheets.

Your body laid motionless barely opening your eyes to see him move away from edge and walk to his discarded pants. Your brain couldn’t even process this as you licked you’re tongue to wet your now dry lips.

Then it dawned that he didn’t let you cum... that fucker. You couldn’t do a single thing about it.

Because here you were unsatisfied, speechless, practically crippled, staring blankly at the ceiling. As he sat and lit a cigarette on the opposite end of the bed.

Notes: I am so sorry. There’s just something about Toji Fushiguro that I just forget how to function correctly. Um I hope you enjoyed! And that I didn’t rot ur brain too much<3

ps: ppp..ppart 2??? fluff???😏

[robinofinashiro]

sypnosis: he hears from Kuroo that you’ve been getting close to someone and he comes to put an end to that. taking you back with him in the process. 

pairing: yandere! kenma kozume x fem reader

request status: OPENED 

note: HEY BESTIES!! I’M BAAAAACK. kenma might be a bit ooc but this is a yandere au so deal with it. 

both you and Kuroo had decided to attend the same college as you got into their honors program based off the results from your entrance exam. since you were Nekoma’s manager throughout Kuroo’s entire volleyball career, you both went into the sports management program at your college, hoping that you’d score some kind of volleyball internship while you still in school. 

you were kind of upset that Kenma hadn’t decided to follow you both along to the same school. he had different aspirations at a different college and it broke your heart in an odd way. it was no secret to anyone on the Nekoma team that you had your heart taken by Kenma. 

the two of you were as close as Kuroo and he were. whenever Kuroo wasn’t available, he’d end up at your house, playing games on your TV while you sat back and watched. at first, you thought that Kenma had reciprocated the same feelings but alas, once graduation came, he never ended up confessing his feelings for you. 

you were upset when he slowly started to drop you over the summer. since you were a year older than him, he remained at Nekoma while you moved over to the city where your university was located at.

eventually, you slowly started losing those feelings for him at the start of your second year.

a part of you did hope that he’d come back for you but as the year progressed, you slowly started to forget about him. you started to indulge yourself in sophomore year internships and trying to get into different managerial positions with different teams throughout the year. 

“morning Kuroo!” you whispered, sitting down at the table he was at. he gave you a smile, ruffling your hair, “you look exhausted. something keep you up at night?” he asked, seeing the dark circles under your eyes. you shook your head no, “I stayed up, face timing a friend and didn’t fall asleep until the late hours of the night,” you replied, taking a sip of your coffee.

Kuroo’s eyebrows fluttered in confusion, “who’s the friend?” he asked, now interested too hear. “he’s apart of the soccer team here,” you murmured. “I’m helping the team until the volleyball season starts up and they need me back for it,” you added on. 

while Kuroo hadn’t responded, he already knew who the guy was. Kuroo had seen you walking around campus with him before and even heard through mutual friends that you both had gone out on a few dates. at first, he didn’t know whether to believe it or not but now that you were ultimately admitting to it, he knew it was time to tell his long time best friend. 

Kuroo and Kenma although no longer attending the same university still had that strong friendship bond and one night, after both of you graduated from Nekoma, the two made a pact. one that they know would kill you if you had found out. 

right at the start of both your third year at Nekoma, Kenma and Kuroo had agreed on one thing. they had this protective nature over you. more Kenma than Kuroo as the rooster haired boy thought of you as a sister than a potential lover. 

Kenma knew that if he didn’t have a chance with you in high school, he knew the college reunion would be that much better when he saw you again. he would’ve grown more without you seeing it and he was sure that you would fall at the knees for him. 

the plan was have you go to the same university Kuroo did until Kenma made his college decision and then persuade you to transfer over after he started going there. was it a very dangerous plan probably! but Kuroo nor Kenma couldn’t have cared less. you were Kenma’s and Kuroo refused to let you slip through his fingers for some random soccer boy. 

as you were at the cafe, getting your very shitty breakfast for the morning, Kuroo made the call to Kenma. making sure to keep it short and simple.

“come tonight, it’s time.”

that was all it took for Kenma to understand where this was going. 

there was going to be an unsanctioned campus party at one of the fraternity houses that was nearby. more than likely, you were probably going attend and have Kuroo come along as your plus one. you kept him close at all times as you didn’t trust anyone enough with your drinks or bag. 

“you going to the party tonight?” Kuroo asked. you nodded yes tiredly, “yeah, a few of the boys on the team are attending and want me to come along. you’re coming right?” you asked. Kuroo shook his head yes, “yep! I have surprise for you too. make sure to dress nice,” he joked. 

you gave Kuroo a look of pure confusion but remained silent nonetheless. he never really cared for what you wore when it came to going to parties with him so you couldn’t help but wonder why he cared now. you could see the small smirk on his face and tried to figure out what he was hiding from you. 

after you finished your breakfast and headed to your first class, you kept trying to see what it was that Kuroo was going surprise you with. at first, you thought that it might’ve been Kenma but you quickly tossed that idea out when he scoffed at the guess and muttered a yeah right in response. 

by the time dinner came, you were out of ideas and had no idea what he was going to bring. you walked out of your class, stomach rumbling and ready to eat dinner before heading back to your campus apartment to start getting ready for the night. 

“Daiki, you’re coming tonight, right?” you asked the boy after his practice. he nodded, putting his arm around your shoulder, “of course. I’m your date tonight, aren’t I?” he asked a bit cocky. you rolled your eyes, trying to respond before Kuroo came up to you, “lets go. I have your dinner and don’t want it to go cold,” he stated, grabbing your wrist softly.

you gave Daiki a quick wave, “duty calls! see you tonight!” you yelled to the black haired boy before looking to Kuroo, “I was in the middle of a conversation, you ass!” you said, shrugging him off. Kuroo shrugged, “probably wasn’t important anyway,” he replied. 

you looked inside the bag, seeing your favorite food from down the street. it was extremely hard to get dinner there and even worse to try and get it Friday nights. 

“how the hell you’d pull this off? it’s always busy Friday nights!” you exclaimed, digging into the food once you back to the apartment. Kuroo chuckled, “not hard when you’re friends with the manager. say, have you kept your sweater from Nekoma?” he asked. 

you nodded, “course I did! I have the managerial sweater as well as the one Kenma gave me one time. why do you ask?” Kuroo shook his head, dismissing the question with a simple response, “my grandmother found mine the other day and just shipped it in the mail.”

“your grandma is so sweet, I hope she’s doing well with you not being home,” you muttered. “she’s happy I’m not there anymore. she doesn’t have to feed me anymore,” he joked. you rolled your eyes before looking at the time, not realizing how late it was getting, “Kuroo! shit! it’s getting late and I still have to get ready!” you yelled, instantly getting up. 

Kuroo muttered that he was already wearing what he was going to the party in, “well, I’m not about to go in a sweater and sweatpants,” you screamed from the bathroom. 

you put all your makeup onto the counter and primed your face while you dug through you closet for your clothes. you had decided on a casual dress with white converse to seal the deal. the makeup was going to be on the lighter side as you had no chance to do an entire glammed face. 

by the time you finished up your makeup, Kuroo was already pressuring for you to hurry up before it got too late. you slipped on your shoes, trying not to slip in the process, “come on!” you screamed, throwing him your bag to hold, “Daiki is waiting for me there too.”

Kuroo rolled his eyes, trying not to make it seem as though he was bothered. at the end; however, he knew how tonight was going to end. you were going to be smothered up against Kenma as you would try and accept his offer to transfer over to his university. 

even if Kenma had to act completely out of his element in order to do that, he had to do what he needed to do in order to get you back in your rightful spot. right next to him. 

“ready?” Kuroo joked, seeing the way you were panic spraying your setting spray all over your face, “yeah, get my keys. they’re in my bag,” you yelled, walking in front of him so he could lock your door. you did the final touches of your makeup in the car as Kuroo parked it a few streets down. 

you and Kuroo almost immediately got separated when you walked in. Daiki and some of the boys from the soccer team dragged you in one direction while Kuroo had gotten dragged by a few of his friends in the other direction. you knew you would be relatively safe with Daiki but every time you went to the bar to get a drink, you’d make sure no one was in close contact with it. 

the music was blaring throughout the house as you danced with a few of your girl friends to it. you hadn’t been paying attention to who was walking in through the door so as you were in the middle of dancing, you felt someone tap you on the shoulder. 

you turned around and felt your heart fall to your stomach as you realized who it was. “KENMA!” you screamed, dropping your drink on the floor and running to him. he chuckled, opening his arms for you as you engulfed him for a hug, “oh my god, Ken!” you whispered, holding him tightly. 

Kuroo gave the two of you a smirk, knowing that the plan was working out smoothly. you pulled away and looked at him, “what are you doing here? Ken, oh my god, you ass, why didn’t you tell me?” you screamed, pulling him for another hug. 

“figured a surprise would be the best idea,” he murmured, feeling his own heart race at how close you were with him, “I can’t believe you made the drive up here for this lame party,” you said grabbing his hand and pulling him out of the dance floor. 

a few minutes later, Daiki had found you with Kuroo and Kenma as he tried to figure out who Kenma was, “hey, there you are,” Daiki said happily. Kenma and Kuroo looked at him and smiled mischievously, “yeah! this is my friend Kenma! why don’t you stay with them while I get all of us drinks!” you introduced. 

Kenma looked at him with an unamused expression as soon as you gone. Daiki could feel the awkward tension radiating from the both of them, “I wouldn’t continue to chase her if I were you,” Kuroo told him, catching Daiki off guard, “he’s practically her boyfriend and it would take one kiss to make that official,” Kuroo added on. 

Daiki laughed, “oh yeah, that’s pretty interesting to hear considering I had her in my bed, moaning my name like I was her god last Friday,” Daiki retorted. 

Kenma’s eyes widened as Kuroo instantly shot up from his seat. before Kuroo could do anything, Kenma with all the strength he had pushed Kuroo aside and decked him in the nose, making sure to connect it as hard as he could. you got to the table to see Daiki on the floor, holding his bloody nose as others around them laughed at the scene. 

“what the hell happened?” you screamed, no longer caring for the drinks you waited so long for. Kenma wiped the blood from his hand on his pants, “you want to repeat what you said about her or should I?” Kenma sneered. you looked to Daiki in anger as he didn’t respond, “come on! don’t be scared now! how about you mention what you said to us. everything about you using her in order to get into her pants and making sure you treat her like the slut you said she was,” Kuroo repeated. 

your eyes widened as Kenma grabbed your wrist to make sure you didn’t do anything irrational yourself. Kuroo knew he was telling a complete lie but they needed Daiki out the way to fulfill the rest of the plan and the only way they could do that is if you absolutely hated his guts. 

“you prick!” you screamed at Daiki who was still on the ground, “and to think we actually had something!” you continued. Kenma grabbed your wrist, whispering that everything would be okay. he slowly pulled you out of the house as they saw Daiki basically thrown out himself. 

“wow, what an ass,” you whispered to Kenma as he shook it off, “how’s your hand?” you asked grabbing it. you saw it was a bit red and it would probably get bruised but at least there wasn’t any cuts. 

“fine,” he whispered pulling his hair back, the way he knew you liked it. you smiled, “seriously, what are you doing here Ken?” you asked, sitting on the steps of the front porch. “I was in town for a book I need for class,” he lied, “and I figured I would pay my favorite girl a visit,” he added on. 

bingo! 

a warm feeling came across your face as Kuroo saw the entire interaction from inside, “I also wanted to ask you a question,” he said softly. your eyebrows fluttered in confusion, “transfer over to my university. I need someone to run my company with and you’re the only one I want to do it with,” he confessed, this time with no hesitation in his voice. 

your eyes widened at the wild request. 

“Ken, you haven’t talked to me in almost a year and now you pay me a visit and expect me to follow you?” you asked with slight annoyance in your voice. Kenma sighed, “I know but after both you and Kuroo left, I felt like you weren’t going to care about me as much anymore now that you were off to college,” he replied. 

Kenma hated being this vulnerable to anyone and truthfully, what he was telling you was kind of a true but also not. he knew your schedule would be busier but he also knew that you would have made time for him if you would have kept in contact. 

“Kenma, I would always make time for you,” you whispered, “you should’ve known that. we were practically best friends.” Kenma rolled his eyes at the end of what you said, “I know but I couldn’t help it. I really need you by my side for this though. you’re the only one who understands gaming as much as I do.” 

you sighed, your heart not knowing what to do. you knew the university he attended would accept you but you also knew that just dropping your current university to follow a boy would get you killed by your parents, “and what am I going to tell my mom? that I’m transferring so I could go to school with you?” you joked. 

Kenma laughed, taking your hand softly. 

“you could say they’re raising tuition and say that my university is offering you s cheaper option,” he suggested, “I just want you to be right next to me when this takes off,” he pleaded. 

he could tell you were still hesitant on the idea but as a last resort, he knew what he had to do would get you to say yes. Kenma pulled you closer and kissed you. you were completely taken back by his actions but for the first time in what felt like years, you felt that happiness you only had with Kenma crawl back up. 

as soon as he pulled away, you smiled in a dazed state of mind, “well?” he asked. you thought for a few moments, “well, if you really need me that bad, I’m sure I can make a convincing argument to my mom on why I need to transfer,” you finally said. 

Kenma smiled gleefully, pulling you in for another kiss. you ran your fingers through his dyed blond hair as he deepened it. 

without your knowledge, Kenma looked through the window to see Kuroo standing in front of it. Kenma gave him a thumbs up, indicating the plan worked. Kuroo smiled in response as Kenma continued to kiss you with a smirk playing on his face. 

what you didn’t know wouldn’t kill you, right? 

[yamag00ps]

the in-between

pairing: akaashi x reader x bokuto

genre: friends to lovers, love triangle

contains: angst, fluff

word count: 3.3k

summary: What is the difference between the process of falling in love versus actually being in love?

note: this is longer than the others but it’s definitely my favorite part of all four :’) thank you for your patience! I had a lot of fun writing this and ngl I gave myself some butterflies.. Kjgfhbk ANYWAY! the flashback is a week before kuroo’s birthday party! after the flashback, the story resumes to akaashi and bokuto outside of kuroo’s apartment where the last chapter left off. I highly recommend listening to the songs mentioned while reading because it’ll really help you visualize the tone and mood of the story <3 enjoy!

 part 1, part 2, part 3

songs: can’t help falling in love (cover) - kina grannis crazy for you - madonna

flashback - a week ago

Kina Grannis’s cover of Can’t Help Falling In Love played from Bokuto’s speakers as your eyes were glued to the screen. You’ve watched the wedding scene in the movie Crazy Rich Asians a million times, but it never failed to put stars in your eyes. Nick and Rachel gazed at each other, despite an entire wedding unfolding in front of them as if they were falling in love for the first time all over again. You were in awe of how the film captured the feeling of falling in love so flawlessly, without a single word being spoken.

Your eyes watered as Bokuto silently chuckled to himself. You came over for a movie night, but it seemed that Bokuto was watching you watch the movie instead. Akaashi was out of town to see family for a couple of days, so it was just the two of you for the night.

Bokuto found his own eyes watering as well, but not because of the movie. You looked over at him from the other end of the couch and he quickly turned back to the TV.

“Wait are you also crying?” You sniffled. Bokuto threw a pillow at you and scoffed, “..No.”

“What?! I’m just asking! I’m not judging,” your giggle turned into a sigh. “It’s magical.”

He smiled at the small pout on your face.

“Yeah,” he agreed. Magical.

Eventually, the end credits rolled and you both scrolled on your phones for a bit, your head laying on one arm of the couch and his head on the other.

“Have you ever been in love?” You lay your phone on your chest and stared at the ceiling.

“Hm.. I actually don’t know,” Bokuto scrunched his eyebrows slightly, “I think I’ve been close to it though.” He peeked over his phone at you. The television screen was now black, the moonlight being the only source of light in the room. You seemed to be deep in thought, hair disheveled from laying down for two hours, and lips slightly swollen from crying because of the movie. Beautiful was an understatement. Bokuto put his phone down to fully look at you, pure adoration and a hint of sadness in his eyes.

“Do you think there’s a difference between falling in love and being in love?” You asked.

“I guess falling in love is when you believe you could eventually be in love with someone.”

“That’s a pretty way to put it,” you hummed in agreement.

“I wonder how long that ‘in-between’ time is, then,” you added, “like, if you think of it as a spectrum--beginning to fall in love on one side and then actually being in love on the opposite end. There’s that ‘in-between’ kind of grey area.” Bokuto watched in amusement as you talked with your hands.

Little did you know that that was where Bokuto currently was--the in-between of falling in love and being in love. With you. Bokuto smiled sadly upon realizing this. He was struggling not to cross that grey area, knowing it would only hurt him if he did. He couldn’t reach that far end of the spectrum, as it was currently reserved for his best friend.

At this point, Bokuto was well aware of his closest friends’ budding feelings for one another. It was in the way Akaashi looked at you when you weren’t paying attention. It was in your doe eyes every time you used Akaashi’s first name.

Bokuto had refused to confront his best friend for weeks now, convincing himself that if he ignored it long enough, it would go away and his premonitions wouldn’t be true. He also wasn’t ready to let go of his feelings for you, wanting to relish in them, without reserve, just a little longer. He was being selfish, not wanting something that felt so beautiful and pure to end just yet--even if it was unrequited.

However, despite everything, he found comfort in his feelings for you whether you reciprocated them or not. The feelings he had for you were so special, and most importantly, they were his alone. No one could take them away from him--not you, not Akaashi.

Until he met you, he had never known what it was like to feel so strongly for anyone. He had never experienced caring for someone so unconditionally and so purely. It felt like magic.

Magic. That was the only word that did you justice.

Bokuto was never going to forget these feelings and this was both a blessing and a curse.

“Bo?” you pulled him out of his thoughts.

“Hm?”

“I think I’m in that in-between right now.”

You didn’t elaborate, but you didn’t have to. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This was it. At the end of this conversation, it was time for him to let you go.

Thank you, he thought. Thank you for the magic.

“I think he might be too.”

end flashback

----------------------------------------

“I know.”

Akasshi opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. How long has Bokuto known? Was it that obvious? Has Bokuto been silently resenting him all this time? If Bokuto knew, did you know too?

The two of them were now sitting on the steps of the building’s stairway with murmurs of the party on the other side of the door filling the silence. Bokuto’s head hung low as he contemplated what to say next.

“I’m sorry. I.. I won’t do anything about it if you don’t want me to,” Akaashi broke the silence.

Bokuto only shook his head at this, not saying a word. For the first time, Akaashi couldn’t read his best friend’s expression. Why did he look so defeated?

“I’d be a pretty shitty friend if I got in your way,” Bokuto finally spoke up.

“What? No, you knew her first. You have every righ--”

“I know I do,” Bokuto slightly smirked and nudged his best friend, “but she doesn’t look at me the way she looks at you.” Bokuto wasn’t angry. He almost seemed relieved, but Akaashi couldn’t pinpoint why.

Akaashi’s lips parted but was rendered speechless again. Was that true? He wanted to hope it was, but the guilt was eating him alive at this point. Truly nothing could have prepared him for this conversation.

“I’m not gonna lie, dude,” Bokuto let out a shaky sigh, “I want to be mad at you.”

Akaashi sighed and apologized again. He didn’t know what else to say.

“But that wouldn’t be fair. You can’t help how you feel and neither can she,” he shrugged.

“But I don’t even know if she likes me.”

Bokuto scoffed at this.

“Akaashi, I know I can be dense and a bit of an airhead sometimes, but even I can see it.” He snorted at his best friend’s obliviousness.

“You know, she asked me if you were single after you first met,” he quietly added with hesitancy in his voice.

“She did?”

“Yeah. At the time.. I convinced myself that I didn’t have to tell you because I assumed you didn’t care, but I was just being selfish,” Bokuto admitted.

“I don’t blame you. That’s fair,” Akaashi shrugged. The air around them seemed to feel less suffocating.

“I know you don’t want to hear it, but I’m really sorry. I mean it,” Akaashi added.

“Don’t be. You would have done the same for me,” Bokuto said sincerely. Akaashi didn’t have to say anything more, they both knew this was true.

Both of their phones chimed at once, receiving texts from you.

Y/N: where did you both go? I need a partner for pong :p

Y/N: wait who is even DD tonight

“Speak of the devil,” Bokuto joked. Akaashi stared at the screen a second longer.

“..Are you sure?” Akaashi asked for confirmation once more.

“Yeah man, I’ll get over it,” Bokuto forced a smile, “Now go find her before I change my mind.” He playfully punched his friend’s arm, though there was an edge to his voice.

“My only request is that you don’t do anything in front of me,” Bokuto added, scratching the back of his neck and avoiding eye contact.

“Of course not, I’m not a dick,” Akaashi scoffed, a bit offended at the request. Bokuto snorted at this.

“Debatable.”

The rest of the night was enjoyable, though Akaashi ended up not making a move, not wanting to take advantage of you while intoxicated. However, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t secretly enjoy how extra touchy you were, especially when you would discreetly yet casually reach for his hand every ten minutes.

But there was a specific moment of that night the two of you would ingrain into your minds.

A random girl stood at the front of the room, microphone in hand, as the opening lyrics to Madonna’s Crazy For You ran across the screen. This was your favorite karaoke song as a child, Akaashi knew this. He watched you from across the room and chuckled at the way your eyes widened and your tired figure suddenly sat up on the couch as you recognized the song. You caught his stare and rolled your eyes at his teasing, a slight blush on your face forming as you realized he was watching you.

I love this song, you mouthed. He smiled.

I know, he mouthed back. You smiled.

As the 80's hit played, you and a handful of other people sang along. Akaashi watched in amusement as you soulfully sang the lyrics with the girl next to you. Every now and then you would lock eyes with him and playfully point, singing the words as if they were directed at him.

I see you through the smokey air

Can’t you feel the weight of my stare?

You’re so close but still a world away

What I’m dying to say,

Akaashi was thankful for the dim lighting masking the blush growing on his cheeks. He shook his head with a smirk as you pointed at him, ignoring the growing ache in his heart. You have no idea what you do to me, he thought.

Is that I’m crazy for you

Touch me once and you’ll know it’s true

I never wanted anyone like this

It’s all brand new

He watched as you swayed your body to the music, singing with your eyes squeezed shut. At one point you put a hand over your mouth in embarrassment as you jumbled the lyrics. He shook his head again, laughing to himself. You laughed with him as your gaze softened before you sang the next line.

Eye to eye, we need no words at all

Akaashi smiled back at you, wondering how someone who had been drinking all night managed to look so lovely.

Soon we two are standing still in time

If you read my mind, you’ll see

I’m crazy for you

The two of you seemed to be in your own little world, despite being on opposite sides of the room. Your face was starting to hurt from smiling, drunk on both alcohol and emotion. Anyone paying attention would have seen the hearts in both of your eyes.

Everything seemed to fade away from your periphery and all you saw was him. His gaze refused to leave yours as he was convinced that if he looked away for a split second, he would somehow lose you. In a room full of jumbled voices, the silent adoration you shared was deafening.

You felt like you were floating while simultaneously feeling the adrenaline of going downhill on a rollercoaster. Your heart felt like it was going to burst at any given moment, but you have also never felt so at peace. You struggled to comprehend the duality of the serenity and chaos coursing through your veins--and then it hit you.

This was the grey area. This was the in-between.

You were falling in love with Akaashi Keiji.

----------------------------------------

A week had passed since the party and Akaashi still had yet to confess--the adrenaline from that night slowly vanished, replaced with an irrational anxiety of running out of time.

Ever since he got home that night, Akaashi had been wracking his brain trying to figure out how to properly confess. Being the over thinker he is, he went through every scenario possible in his head, rewording his sentences over and over. The longer he waited, the more discouraged he became.

Strangely enough, the one who brought him back down to earth whenever he would get too in his head about his feelings was the source of his restlessness itself--you. Somehow you were both his chaos and his calm.

As the days passed, you noticed that he had become distracted more often than usual.

You two had been studying in the library for hours when you noticed that Akaashi’s mind seemed elsewhere. By now, you had memorized his tells like your favorite book. His knee bobbed up and down under the table, his hair was disheveled from repeatedly running his hands through it, and his eyes glazed over the textbook in front of him, not having turned a single page in the past twenty minutes. You knew he hadn’t gotten anything done since you sat down.

You closed your laptop and waited for him to match your gaze. It wasn’t until you rested your hand on his bobbing knee that he looked up at you and became aware of the amount of tension in his body. You gave him a small but sincere smile, wordlessly asking if he was okay. You rubbed his knee and he immediately relaxed at your touch, relief rushing through him.

Your timing was always perfect--constantly pulling him out of his overwhelming thoughts as if you could read his mind.

“Let’s take a break,” you whispered. He placed his hand on top of yours and gave it a squeeze, nodding.

It was funny--the concept of you distracting him from his thoughts about you.

The two of you ended up at the mall, people watching from a bench. This had become a favorite pastime for the both of you--picking out random passersby and creating extensive backstories about their lives. It was a way to destress and put your own lives on hold for a bit.

You spotted a couple sitting on a bench far enough away for you to talk about them.

“Those two are secretly pining for each other,” you nodded your head in their direction.

“Hm. Are they in love?”

“Oh no, not yet at least,” you speculated.

“And how do you know?” Akaashi mused.

“They’re sitting too far away from each other,” you stated matter-of-factly. Akaashi silently noted the distance between the two of you and compared.

“Huh. Okay,” He scooted closer, not being discreet at all. You held back a smile and refused to meet his gaze.

“How else can you tell?” He watched you intently, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“He’s giving her too much eye contact. He’s not nervous enough.” Akaashi scrunched his eyebrows in thought. Noted, he thought. Just as you looked up at him, he swiftly turned his head the opposite way with a small smirk on his face.

Doing your best to ignore him, you asked a question this time.

“Who do you think will make the first move?”

“Oh, definitely the guy,” Akaashi stated confidently.

“Oh?”

“It���s in his body language. His body is fully facing her,” Akaashi mimicked his position, now fully facing you with his right arm resting on the top of the bench behind you. You leaned back with your arms crossed, still facing forward to avoid looking at him. You felt his arm fall from the bench to your shoulders, his hand now tracing circles into your shoulder.  

“And what does that mean?” you rolled your eyes, still refusing to face him. Your heart warmed as he mindlessly took one of your hands and started playing with your fingers.

“It means..” Akaashi took a deep breath as if he had prepared a full-blown explanation. You raised your eyebrows waiting for him to finish, eyes still on the couple. When he took too long to continue, you turned to face him and silently gasped upon realizing how close his face was to yours.

You felt yourself stop breathing as he hesitated before speaking. He kept his voice low as if he was sharing top-secret information.

“He really wants to kiss her.” It wasn’t until now that you realized the proximity of your faces in this position. His eyes bore into yours, flickering to your lips as if to ask for permission.

“Do you think she’d kiss him back?” you held your breath, your gaze also lowering to his lips.

“I don’t know, you tell me,” he whispered, his lips just barely grazing yours.

You closed your eyes as you slightly tilted your head up, your lips lightly pressing against his, lingering a bit before pulling away. It was short and sweet. You looked down shyly, biting back a smile.

Akaashi watched you, his eyes low. He didn’t wait all this time for short and sweet. His left hand lifted your chin up as he attached his lips to yours again, kissing you with more passion this time. You held onto his wrist and kissed him back, matching his fervor.

“Keiji..” you barely managed to let out, as he wouldn’t stop kissing you (not that you were complaining).

If he initially thought your first name in his mouth was sweet.. The taste of his first name coming from your lips while they were melting into his? Jesus. His brain was short-circuiting.

You groaned upon realizing you were in a public space, but you couldn’t find the willpower to pull away either. All of Akaashi’s inhibitions were out the window. The only thing that mattered right now was you, as you wiped away every lingering trace of doubt, fear, and worry from his mind with every kiss.

“Keiji!” You laughed, attempting to pull away only for him to grab your chin and pull you back in.

One more, he thought.

“We’re the,” one more, “stereotypical,” another, “couple,” another one, “making out in the,” another, “middle,” one more, “of a,” last one, “mall,” for now. You giggled in between kisses. Akaashi chuckled and got a hold of himself, finally pulling away and resting his forehead on yours.

“Sorry,” he smiled shyly. “I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop.”

You closed your eyes and blushed furiously at this. He pulled back further to get a better look at you with an eyebrow cocked.

“Couple, huh?” You already began shaking your head. “Wow at least ask me on a date first, you can’t skip important steps like that, F/N.”

“You kissed me first!” you laughed as you pushed him away.

“Did I, though?”

It took you a second to realize he was right. You were the one to lean into the first kiss. Ugh.

“Oh my god I’m leaving,” you walked off as you fought the smile on your face, not being able to handle his teasing any longer. He threw his head back laughing and quickly caught up to you. He tugged your hand and pulled you into him as his arm hooked around your shoulders again. You peeked up to catch him grinning ear to ear. He looked down at you, and pressed a kiss on your forehead. Not saying another word, you leaned into his hold and sighed.

You thought about all of the wordless moments the two of you shared. Akaashi Keiji wasn’t a very talkative person, but he didn’t have to be. All it took was one look, without a single word spoken, and you knew.

This was what falling in love felt like.

----------------------------------------

a/n: it’s finally done! thank you all for waiting!!! also, your feedback means so much and inspires me to keep writing so thank you all so much <3 (p.s. I love bokuto so so much I felt so bad hurting him but I’ll write something else to make it up to him lmao) also can I just say I love the way the chapter begins with her in awe of the love she saw on tv and then it ends with her finding that exact feeling with akaashi :p full circle hehe

part 1, part 2, part 3

[tweedlydumbtweedlydoo]

John B x reader

Summary: You end up pregnant and because John B’s life was already hard, you didn’t want to make it any worse so you keep it from him. However, after a tense night at the boneyard, everything comes slipping out. 

A/N: This is my first obx fic, I hope you guys like it!! I’ll post the rest of the obx fics/requests I have tomorrow (Thursday). 

Tag list is at the end. Let me know if you want to be added xx 

**MASTERLIST**

Requests: {OPEN} CLOSED

I am currently taking requests for:

The Vampire Diaries/The Originals

Elijah Mikaelson

Damon Salvatore

Criminal Minds:

Spencer Reid

Derek Morgan

Supernatural (I’m only up to season 2, so please don’t request something with spoilers)**

Sam Winchester

Dean Winchester

Outer Banks (Netflix):

John B Routledge

JJ Maybank

Rafe Cameron

********************************************************************************************NOT MY GIF, CREDIT TO OWNERS

Your eyes stare at the two pink lines. Positive. How could you and John B let this happen? You’d been careful. You used protection and you were on birth control, something your mother had you put on after she found out you were dating John B, a pogue. Your mother warned you about pregnancy and strongly urged you to use protection. Your family’s reputation would not be able to handle a pregnancy caused by a pogue. The reputation was already beginning to crack after they found out about you and him, this would completely ruin it.

Your mind then went to John B and his life. He was living alone at 18. His dad disappeared in a boating accident years ago and he was barely scrapping by. His life was already hard and to throw a baby into the mix? It would be even worse for him. You couldn’t do that to him. Especially, since your family would disown you and kick you out, leaving you to live with John B. However, this was John B’s baby and he deserved to know. He would want to know you were carrying his child. You knew he was going to be a good father, no doubt about it.   

Gathering yourself from you white tiled bathroom floor, you stood in the mirror and wiped your eyes, washing the mascara from your face and headed to the Chateau.

~

When you arrived, you let out a sigh of relief to only see John B’s van. Kie’s car or JJ’s bike no where in sight. You stepped out of your car and headed inside.

“John B?” You called out, but there was no answer. You stepped through the house, checking in the rooms, but no John B. You checked the time; he’d be home from working at the dock by now. So, where was he?

You stepped off the screen porch and looked around the yard when you heard a boat motor. As you headed down to the dock, there was John B, pulling up in HMS Pogue. He must have gone for an evening drive.

“Hey.” You gave a small smile and a wave, stepping to the end of the dock as he pulled the boat closer to the edge.

He threw you the rope to tie off the boat, “Hey, what are you doing here?”

You bent down and tied off the boat, “I needed to talk with you about something.” After tying off the boat, you stood and wiped your hands on your jeans.

As he stepped off the boat and onto the dock, you could see the weight of the world on his shoulders, “Can it wait? I’ve had a shitty day.” He sighs and sits down on the bench, running his hands through his hair.

You frowned and nodded, “What’s wrong? Do you want to want to talk about it?” You take a seat next to him and put a loving hand on his thigh.

He holds his head in his hands, “They’ve cut back my hours on the dock, which means I won’t be able make enough to pay bills, so I have to find another job.”

And that is when you knew, you couldn’t tell him about the baby.

~

It had been a few weeks, John B had yet to find a second job and you had yet to tell him about the baby. It was Kie who found out about the pregnancy first. You didn’t mean for it to happen but she’d come over to drop something off and found you sobbing in the bathroom floor. She was your best friend and you knew there was no lying to her.

“I’m pregnant, Kie.” You sobbed into your hands.

She immediately pulled you into her arms as you two sat on the bathroom floor. She let you sob for as long as you needed, “Does John B know?”

You shook your head and quickly pulled away to look at her, “He can’t know Kie. You can’t tell him. Please.”

She sadly nods, “Okay, I won’t.” It wasn’t her secret to tell.

~

You didn’t want to go to the Boneyard for a party, but John B begged you to come. He’d finally found another job and wanted to celebrate. As you and the pogues were situated around a fire, you sat next to Kie, who was telling you about her horrible date, when John B came stumbling over.

“Hey y/n.” He slurs, two cups in his hands, “Here drink up.”

You glanced at Kie and then back up at John B, “I’m okay John B. I don’t feel like drinking tonight.”

He narrows his eyes at you, “You don’t ever feel like drinking. You don’t feel like doing anything anymore! All you do is sit around on your little kook ass crying about the dumbest shit!”

Your eyes sting with tears. It had been a rough couple of weeks. Your hormones were horrible and all over the place and you had terrible morning sickness lasting through out the day.

“John B.” Kie snapped, “Don’t be an ass!”

He looks at Kie then back at you, noticing the tears, “There she goes now with the damn water works.” He shakes his head and finishes off his drink with a gulp, tossing the cup in the trash.

You stand, “John B I think it’s time for you to stop. You’ve had enough..” You go to grab the other drink in his hand but he smacks your hand away.

“Don’t touch my fucking drink.”

You put your hands up defensively, Kie standing at your side as JJ and Pope make their way over seeing all the commotion.

“You sit all high and mighty in that big ass house of yours while the rest of us pogues bust our asses to put food on the table!” He points a finger at you.

‘he’s just drunk. He’s just drunk and doesn’t mean those things.’ You repeat in your head, but your hormones are already raging and another tear slips down your face. This is what sends John B into a fit.

“And there you are with those damn tears again! What do you have to cry about?! You’ve never worked a day in your life and you probably never will!”

“I’m pregnant John B. That’s why I cry all the time! That’s why I don’t drink anymore or I’m always sick!” Tears are steadily falling and Kie puts an hand on your back.

John B is taken back by this information and stumbles back a little, “P-pregnant?” He shakes his head, the alcohol making his head spin. “There isn’t no fucking way you’re pregnant.” His eyes snap to you, “We used protection. You were on the pill. That isn’t my baby.” He points to your stomach. The next thing that happens is something none of the pogues saw coming. He tosses the drink in your face, the beer splashing on your face and down the front of your clothes.

Everything else happened so fast. Suddenly, JJ was protectively in front of you, grabbing at John B and yelling at him. Kie is cussing at John B and trying to get napkins to wipe up your face.

JJ and Pope drag John B off toward the van, still cussing and yelling at him for what he did.

“Are you okay?” Kie asks, wiping the beer off your face.

You shake your head and let out a sob.

“Oh sweetie..” She wraps her arms around you in a hug, “He was just drunk, you know that he didn’t mean any of it.”

~

Kie drove you home that night and made sure you were okay before leaving. JJ and Pope took John B back to the Chateau where John B finally passed out on the couch. They didn’t leave either, they wanted to be the first to tell John B how much he fucked up after he woke up the next morning.

~

You slept in the next morning, never leaving the bed. Kie came over and hung out but never once mentioned John B. Not like you wanted to hear about him anyways. Maybe your mother was right, dating a pogue was wrong.

~

Back at the Chateau, he knew he’d fucked up. The next morning after the outburst, JJ and Pope were quick to tell him everything that happened, how he’d drank too much, snapped on you, the pregnancy announcement and the throwing of the drink.

“Oh I fucked up.” John B groans, running his hands through his hair, “I need to go see her.” He starts to walk out but Pope grabs his arm, “Kie called from her house. She doesn’t want to see you.”

He shook Pope’s arm off, “Doesn’t mean I’m not going to try.”

When he arrived at your house, Kie’s car was still in the driveway. Kie was never going to let you see him. He sighs and knocks on the door. To no surprise, Kie opens the door.

“She doesn’t want to see you John B.”

“I know Kie, I fucked up but please, I have to apologize.” He begs.

She shakes her head and goes to shut the door, but he stops it with his foot, “Kie, Please!”

You slowly make your way down the stairs, wrapped in a blanket, “Kie?”

Kie turns around, “He’s leaving, it’s okay.”

John B looks passed Kie and looks at your appearance. He can see you’ve been crying all night. Your eyes are swollen and red. And you’re wrapped in your favorite fluffy blanket, one only used when things were bad, “Y/n please… I’m sorry.” His eyes are pleading as he begs.

You wrap the blanket tighter around you as you walk behind Kie, “It’s okay, Kie…” You give a small smile at her and she nods before heading back to your room. Pushing John B out of the house you close the door behind you and sit on one of the white rocking chairs. “Well?”

He quickly takes a seat next to you, “I’m sorry about last night. I was a complete asshole.”

You laugh halfheartedly, “Asshole? That was more than being an asshole John B. You snapped on me and said mean things and you threw a drink in my face.”

His face falls, “I know. And I don’t know what got into me. I got scared when you said you were pregnant. I was already stressed and had finally found a second job then you say you’re pregnant? I can barely take care of myself, let alone another human being.”

“You don’t think I’m stressed out? I can’t take care of another human being either! You’re not the only one in this John B.”

He sighs, nodding, “I know and I should have never reacted the way I did.” He stands from the chair and steps in front of you, bending his knees so he’s eye level with you. He puts a loving hand on your knee, “I will take care of you and our baby, no matter what. Okay?”

You sniff, another round of tears filling your eyes, “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

His heart breaks when he sees the look in your eye. They’re filled with regret and sadness. “Hey.. I know that.” He rubs his thumb along your cheek, “I know you didn’t mean for this to happen. This is on both of us, not just you. It was an accident and that’s okay. We’re going to go through this together. I’m going to be there every step of the way, alright?”

You sniffle and nod, before standing up and walking right into his open arms. He kisses the top of your head, “We’re going to be parents.” He whispers and gives you a small squeeze. Suddenly the thought of having a baby pogue, half you, half him running around made his heart swell. It was earlier than he would have hoped. He wanted to have a steady job. He wanted to marry you first and then start a family but looks like he’d have to do things another way and that was okay.

~

Few weeks went by. You were now 3 months pregnant, no baby bump yet. You’d asked Kie to accompany you to one of the appointments because John B said he had to work and couldn’t make it. You two had made a day of it, stopping for lunch and did some shopping around town. Now, you two were on your way home. You decided you’d wait at the Chateau for John B until he got off work.

“Can you take me by John B’s?” You ask, looking over at Kie.

“yeah sure.” She nods, turning off a side street and heading toward the Chateau.

~

When you arrive, his van is parked by the house along with JJ’s bike. “Thought he was at work?” She asks, turning off the car.

“Yeah I did too..” you mutter before getting out of the car. The two of you head up on the front porch; the door is open and it sounds like JJ and John B are arguing.

“That’s not the right part, JJ! It’s this one.”

“Dude, I’m not a rocket scientist.”

“This has to be perfect.”

You look at Kie, who shrugs, so the two of you walk into the house and to the office where John B’s dad kept all his treasures and research. However, the room isn’t filled with his dad’s things anymore. It was empty. The walls had been painted a light grey and there were baby animals hung around the room. In the middle of the room sat John B and JJ, half of a crib up, the rest of the parts were strewed around them.

Your eyes swelled with tears, “John B..”

His head snapped up to you, oh shit. He’d lied to you about work and now was caught right in the middle of it.

“I’m just gonna.. go outside.” JJ quickly stands and follows Kie out, leaving you and John B in the room.

He slowly stands, “I wanted it to be a surprise… this is the nursery.. for our baby.”

Your let out a small sob, admiring the room, “It’s amazing!”  

His face lights up, “Really? You like it?”

“Like it? I love it John B!” You smile, turning around to face him, frowning, “But all your dad’s stuff.”

He nods, “In the shed. I figured he wouldn’t mind his grandchild having this room..”

You look at the décor and then the crib, “How could you afford all this?”

“I had some savings set aside for something else. But I knew this was more important.” He steps over to you, “Do you like the color? I can change it if you don’t like it. It’s just the guy at the paint shop said grey was a neutral color since I didn’t know the gender.”

You quickly shook your head and smiled, “No, it’s perfect. All of it.. is perfect.” Your hand digs into your back pocket and pull out the ultrasound photo.

“New ultrasound photo?” He asks as you hand it to him.

You point to the little bean in the photo, “Size of a plum now.” You giggle a little.

He chuckles, looking over the photo, “Size of a plum..”

You nod, “Doctor said baby was healthy and growing just fine. And the mother was doing great too.” You laugh a little.  

He smiles, “Can I keep this one? I want to put it with my others” He’d kept the photos from the first ultrasound, hung on the fridge and in the van. He was proud and would show of the photo anytime someone entered in the Chateau or even the van. “We know John B, we saw the photo in the van.” The pogues would mutter.

“Sure. I have another one in the car. That’s your copy.”

His hand slips around your waist and pulls you into his side, his free hand going to your tummy, “My little family…”

OBX Tag list: @emmalvei-blog​ , @tregua-oca​ , @weirdbiwitch​ , @losers-club6​

[ryosei-hime]

Bad Dream

Blitz has a bad dream after a night with Stolas. Probably not the most original idea. : P I missed the second day because I slept through most of it, but I might make it up later.Also available on AO3.

Blitz put out his cigarette in the fancy ashtray on Stolas’ bedside table. There didn’t used to be one there but as they started spending more of their moonlight rendezvous in Stolas’ room, he seemed to make accommodations for him. Little things that Blitz hadn’t noticed right away. But as they added up, they made him uncomfortable. 

Stolas leaned his head against his shoulder and turned adoring eyes up at him. 

“Oh, Blitz, you were like an animal tonight.” 

Blitz gave a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders, trying to prompt Stolas to remove his head, but it didn’t work. Clingy son of a bitch. He wrapped those thin arms around his waist and snuggled in closer. 

“Stella won’t be home until the evening. If you stay for breakfast, I’ll have cook make your favorite.” 

That made him smile a little, looking thoughtful. It was hard to pass up fancy food when he could get it. There were plenty of perks to hanging around with Stolas even outside of their monthly meetings. He’d let himself be bribed into a lot of that lately. 

“Sure, why not?” 

Stolas chuckled and his fingers slid down his chest smoothly. 

“But don’t think you’re getting another fuck outta me!” 

“Of course,” Stolas replied with innocent eyes. “You’ve held up your end of the bargain. But I can enjoy your presence outside of the bedroom just as well.” 

Stolas yawned as he finished and smiled at him. 

“Goodnight, Blitzy.” 

He turned over and gave Blitz his space. He knew sleeping cuddled up like lovesick newly weds was a line Blitz didn’t tolerate being crossed and he’d always respected it. Blitz turned his back to Stolas and pulled the cover up to his chin, eyes roaming the darkness. Nothing out of the ordinary had happened tonight, but he felt uncomfortable. 

Maybe it was that some of these things had become so normal. Stolas’ head on his shoulder, hanging with Stolas outside of their meetings, all those little accommodations around the room. He’d started keeping a couple of sets of clothes to change into at the palace for Satan’s sake! It was practical, but still.

This was starting to look too much like a relationship and Blitz didn’t like it. He let sleep take him, face scrunched up in worry even as he drifted off.

When he opened his eyes, Blitz found himself sitting in Stolas’ pristine kitchen. Octavia sat to his right, bobbing her head along to the music only she could hear, and Stolas sat across from him. 

“Is something wrong, dear?” he asked, turning the page of his book. 

“Dear?” 

Blitz looked down at his hands to find long, thin fingers. They were still red, but otherwise identical to Stolas’ delicate digits. He stood suddenly, taller than he should be, a puffy dress falling around him. 

“What the fuck?!” 

“Blitzy! Language!” 

Octavia looked up and turned her head in curiosity. 

“Mom?” 

“Oh, no! I’m no one’s mom! What the fuck is going on here?!” 

“Don’t fuss, so, Blitzy. You’ll upset the baby.” 

Octavia was suddenly a toddler as Stolas picked her up. 

“And on our day out.” 

The scenery changed and they were at Loo Loo Land. Blitz was himself again at least, but now they were in the Fizzarolli and Friends tent. While he was keenly aware that he was sitting in the audience, he also found himself on stage. The crowd booed as he bombed on joke after joke. 

The loudest booing of all came from himself and he stood to throw a soda at the pathetic clown. The Blitz on stage cringed away as the crowd followed his own example, folding in on himself. Blitz felt proud of himself for some reason, tearing down this shitty clown, putting him in his place. 

His face fell when the shivering ball of an imp began to unfurl, stretching and changing until Fizzarolli stood laughing, throwing his arms out with his usual flair. 

“Blitzo!” 

“No! No, fuck you! Get out of here!” 

He threw another drink but it hit the space in front of Fizz as if there were a shield there. Nothing could touch this asshole. Everyone fucking loved him. The crowd roared with applause and whistles. 

“Oh but he’s so entertaining, Blitzy,” Stolas said with amusement, clapping his hands.

Even Stolas liked him for some reason. 

“He’s a hack!” He grabbed Stolas’ hands. “Stop clapping!” 

“Aw, is Blitzo jealous?” a silky voice purred. 

The hands he grasped were pink now. He let go, her skin burning like a hot stove. 

“Verosika!” 

“You afraid Fizzarolli will steal your precious Prince Stolas? One fuck toy is as good as another, right? Oh, but I think Fizzarolli would be an upgrade.” 

“What?” 

“Fizzarolli wouldn’t ask for more bribes and he’s so obedient. But you always want more without giving anything back.”

“Shut up!”

“Are you afraid he’ll realize what a user you are? Or are you afraid he won’t? Afraid you’ll suck him dry for all he’s worth and leave him a ruined man, no marriage, no daughter, and no Blitzy?” 

Blitz put his hands to his head, shaking it. 

“Shut up, you fucking whore! You don’t know shit about me!” 

“I know everything about you, Blitzo.” 

He looked up slowly as her voice changed and found his own face staring back from Verosika’s body. That was terrifying enough to jolt him out of sleep with a gasp. 

He sat up and put a hand to his face, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. What the fuck was that? He turned his eyes to Stolas to make sure he hadn’t woken up. Good, he was still asleep, cooing softly.

When he’d caught his breath, he slid out of bed as carefully as he could and started getting dressed. He had to get out of here. He sat back down on the edge of the bed to pull his boots on and Stolas stirred. Shit. 

He rolled over and blinked at him with sleepy eyes. He seemed only half-awake still as he mumbled. 

“Mmm...Blitzy? Are you leaving?” 

“Yeah, I gotta go,” Blitz replied coldly. 

“What about breakfast?” 

“I have something I need to do.” 

He froze as he finally got his first boot on, Stolas’ hand on his back. 

“I’ll miss you,” Stolas breathed softly. “Can we meet again soon? We could go shopping.” 

Even after the nightmare he’d just had, that was tempting. But he’d been letting Stolas buy him too many things. That was part of the problem. Blitz shook his head, refusing to look at Stolas as he shoved his foot into the other boot. 

“No. I’ll see you in a month.” 

He stood and left without looking back, slamming the door behind him.

[fyodorsslut]

hi uh- this is embarrassing I mean I’m a writer asking for someone else to write me something- anyways I found your blog and I was wondering if you could write angst? Any kinda would be good just make it hurt :) ❤️❤️❤️

A/n : JFHGH MY HEARTTTTT I hope you like it !!

Genre : angst

Pairings : Bakugo x fem!reader

Keys : y/n your name // y/h/c your hair color // y/e/c your eye color // y/s/c your skin color // y/b/s your brows shade (light, dark, etc.)

Warnings : Language, death, angst vv much angsty, very light mention of sex

   He sighs aloud, pushing his wooden chair backwards as he pulls himself up off of it.

   “Where are you going ?” Kaminari, the blonde to his left, looked up at him in confusion.

   “Going to check on Bakubro,” the red haired declares. “You guys go walk or something if you wanted, I guess,” He spoke dryly, sharp teeth shining every time he flexes his jaw open.

   Denki’s golden eyes shakily hold contact with Kirishima’s small red ones. Both exchanging the same worrisome thoughts, the blonde sighs in despair as he nods at his friend.

          “You sure you don’t want to come?” Kirishima perks a brow. “You haven’t been eating properly since-”

   “Do I look hungry to you, shitty hair?!” The ash blonde snaps aloud. 

   “No, sorry,” The red haired lies, understanding and all. Without a single word further, he leaves the dorm and shuts the door on his way out.

   Sighing, Bakugo throws himself back on the bed. He rubs his eyes with rough callouses, stopping any emotion from stepping out of line. He shifts to his side, staring at the frame on his bedside table.

   “Damn, if you were here you would’ve dragged me downstairs,” he spoke to the picture softly, wishing for nothing more than the impossibility of pulling the girl out of the framed picture and into his embrace. “If. I hate that word. But you know that already. Or, well, knew.”

                                    -s i x  w e e k s  a g o- 

   “Oh my God,” The y/h/c girl gasps, gripping into Katsuki’s strong arm tighter than she already was. “We can even pain it pink! Imagine if we did- that’d be so funny.”

    The idea brought the ash blonde delight, but his expression remained frozen as the snow he’s walking on. With he two arms wrapped around his right arm, he wonders of the possibility of his girlfriend’s fantasies becoming a reality.

   “Tch, dumbass,” He replies. “Pink is lame.”

   “You’re lame,” She rolls her eyes playfully at him. Her nose was blocked by the cold, being unfortunate enough to not be a self-heater as her lover is. She sounded different, but she tried to pay it no mind, but it’s hard to do so when walking beside her was non other than mr.Sexy Voice. She couldn’t help but feel insecure.

   “Yeah yeah,” he smirks, intertwining his fingers with her’s and pulling them inside his coat’s pocket. A light pink tint was added to redden her cheek further more. It was him and the weather. But he’s always there.

   “What if we, like, actually got married?” She farrowed her y/b/s brows, raising her right hand into the air and examining the promise ring her gave her on their third anniversary.

   “There is no ‘if’ to it, idiot,” he declares, embarrassed by the state he was about to make even thought there was not reason to be ashamed of it whatsoever. “We are getting married, so shut up about it already.” 

   “Aw, Katsuki,” She smiles agape, printing a soft, cold kiss on his surprisingly warm cheek. “When did I say I had plans of marrying you?” She teases, eyes narrowed.

   “I didn’t ask. If you don’t want to I’ll make you.”

   “You’ll make me?” she scoffs. “I’d love to see you do that.”

   “Careful what you wish for, teddybear,”it was a threat if there was ever one, making the girl’s y/e/c eyes stare at him with all bewilderment there is.

   “Anyway,” she brushes it off quickly, looking ahead of them. “What if we got a daughter, would you know how to deal with her?”

    “Stop ‘what if’ing,” he rolls his vermilion eyes. “It’s too early to tell, you moron.”

   Before she could retort ans shut him up, the glass door of the store by their side practically blew up, spitting glass everywhere. While she was frozen from the utter shock, he caught a piece of glass right before it lands in her y/e/c eyes.

   “The fuck was that?!” He growls aloud, but people start running out of the place like crazy, all terrified.

   Y/n was pulled out the way by Katsuki, who frantically shook the girl ahead of him, trying to bring her back to reality.

   “Listen, I’m gonna go see what son of a bitch is doing what there and you’ll go get some fucking help, okay?”

   “Y-yeah, okay,” she nods, processing it all. Bakugo sighed deeply, considering keeping her here in the safe around him, not letting her out on her own, but he new he had to. 

  He pats her shoulder twice, she goes off running as his eyes trail her back.

   “What do you mean she’s not here?!!” Bakugo shouts at endeavour like some maniac, trying his best to not jump on the old man and punch him.

   “I don’t have time for your love affairs, boy. Your ‘girlfriend’ is not here. She was transported to the infirmary with the rest of injured.”

   As the number one hero pushed past him, the ash blonde stared into the blank.

   “I’m sorry,” the man sighs. “I really am.”

   He could barely hear the door shut, staring at what could soon be the corpse of his girlfriend.  All the other devices connected ti her body meant nothing to him. He’d give up everything he’d worked for his whole life right then if it meant she’ll stay.

   “Don’t fucking go,” he took her hand. “See me? I’m right here, for you. I didn’t waste 4 years of my life for you to do this to me. I’ll let you ‘what if’ all you want. Just- don’t fucking leave.”

   Much to his dismay, as his voice cracked a tear spilled down his cheek. He ran a calloused finger down her promise, him wearing a similar one with her name craved on its inside.

   “Don’t fucking go.”

   It’s a whimper,  desperate gasp for air. He didn’t mind being like this now; being so vulnerable. He didn’t have the brain nor the brain capacity to do so.

    “Please, don’t leave me.”

    His thoughts raced. He wish he were good enough, he had more time. He wished he were able to put her up again. He’d always bush it to later. He never showed her him vulnerable because later.  He never to her to the basement ti just talk because later. He never roamed the world with her because later. He never gave her the custom dress he wanted her to wear to prom because later.

   The beep sound from he device above his head became high, long, annoying. But, yet, he knew it indicated something dangerous.

   “B-babe?” He looked up at her, his face red but her’s pale.

   The man in white, uniform indicating a doctor, stormed into the room.

  “Wh-what’s wrong?!” The ash blonde asked, eyes agape as the doctor head towards the bed.

  “I might have to ask you to leave, young man.”

   “DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! WHAT’S HAPPENING?!”

   “Sir-”

   “ANSWER ME-” then, the ash blonde’s senses hit him; sudden and all. He stumbles back. “Sh-she’s making it, right?”

    “I already told you-”

     “NO YOU DIDN’T-!” he lied, scared. No, scratch that, terrified.

    This is all a bad dream. He continued to murmur in his head.

    Nurses came for backup, one with a quirk that numbed his limbs he couldn’t move. They pulled him out. The crying boy growled in pain, trying to stay. But they wouldn’t let him.

                                           - B a c k  t o  t h e  p r e s e n t -

   “I let you down,” He hugged the photo to his chest tightly, tears uncontrollably streaming down his light skinned face. “I’m sorry.” 

[chongoblog]

Zero Time Dilemma Review/Ramble

Okay, so if you’ve been following me, you know that I’ve gotten into the Zero Escape series, famous for 999 and Virtue’s Last Reward, streaming both games. I recently took the time to experience the last game, Zero Time Dilemma by watching cutscenes rather than playing it proper mostly because A) I heard it was REALLY dark and didnt want to risk it on Twitch and B) I wanted to experience it more freely like while I’m at work.

After experiencing it. I have......feelings about it. And because there’s MASSIVE spoilers involved, I’m making it its own post under the ReadMore below.

tl;dr LOADS of bullshit, flawed execution, and stupid decisions, but still REALLY enjoyed it

Okay so a LOT of this is going to be complaining, and like I said in the tl;dr I still legit enjoyed this game, so I’m gonna make this a compliment sandwich by saying something nice now, loading up on complaints, then ending with more compliments. Carlos is good. So is Sean. Sigma being voiced by Matthew Mercer actually makes him more interesting imo. I REALLY like Phi’s new design and the way they build on the initial concepts brought up in VLR more accurately portray the ideas that started all the way back in 999, that being the idea of taking thoughts across timelines, just like the player. From the beginning, the theme/gimmick was always “what if your character remembered information when you savescummed?” In 999 that began as flashes of information, and in VLR the characters’ consciousness actually time traveled at the very end. ZTD now uses the idea of the consciousness traveling across time and space and RUNS with it. I also think that Delta has a cool design.

I’ll be nice again later, but now for the things I Did Not Like.

Emo Moody Junpei makes sense from a writing standpoint, but that doesn’t mean I have to like him. Maybe I just got spoiled since Evan Wilson did a spectacular job with his deliveries in 999 and in ZTD it seems like his soul got sucked out. Not the fault of the delivery as much as it is the writing. Eric is bad, and I feel like that statement isn’t controversial. I don’t think anyone likes Eric, and if you do, then sorry for shitting on him so much, but god I just don’t like him. And the abusive childhood thing doesn’t give me a drop of sympathy, but then again I’ve always hated the writing trick that “this person is shitty and pathetic but it’s because abuse!” (see also Mikan). Diane is boring (sorry).

But I fuuuuuckin HATE Mira. I hate Mira so much. Like, at first I thought she’d be alright, yeah she’s definitely The Boob Character™, but I liked Lotus well enough and Alice grew on me significantly, so I don’t see why Mira won’t. Then she’s like “surprise I’m a serial killer”. Now if they just made her a serial killer, it would be kinda boring so I’m glad they TRIED something new. I just think the result was bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad. Like....”hmm I never felt any emotions so when my mom told me they were kept in hearts I just ripped em out of people :)” is some garbage I’d write in middle school when I felt especially edgy. Also yeah seems p ableist. I won’t go too deeper into Mira, since she’s a sociopath and I don’t know enough about the actual disorder to put a candle to the real thing, but....bleh.

I won’t touch on THIS aspect for too long because I’m aware that it had barely any budget and it wouldn’t have happened without a kickstarter (don’t know the details), but the animation is just....so stiff. It really takes away from the dramatic impact some scenes are meant to have. But even IF the animation wasn’t stiff, I still am not a big fan of the darker and moodier direction it went. Although that’s moreso down to personal preference. Final note about the presentation (which is by far the game’s weakest aspect) is that I noticed multiple points in the sound mixing got to nearly Sonic Adventure 2 levels of being unable to understand what people were saying.

Alright. Now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Let’s talk about Delta. This is going to make up a MAJORITY of this post so strap in.

Delta is a meme. There’s no other way to say it briefly. He’s just such a huge fucking meme. Almost everything about him, from his plan to his “complex” motives to his backstory to his powers. I mentioned liking his design, but fuck it. That’s a meme now too. Delta is the stupidest part of the game, and as much as I kind of love it, I also need to complain about it.

First let’s talk about Delta’s plan (because it starts with the nicest part of this segment). His motives are “complex” which is actually greek for “he’s probably either a liar, an idiot, or both”. I said there was nice things, so I’ll start with those. The very ending’s “ah ah ah. I never killed any of you in this timeline. If you arrested someone for crimes of another history, there would be criminals everywhere” was something I actually legitimately enjoyed. Yeah, intent was still there and he’s still a bastard (plus there was kidnapping and non-consensual drugging involved so kind of a stupid take), but I still thought it was a fun attempt. And also the “I had to make sure I was born” thing is a mindfuck, and I love those. Basically the first retort is “well I’m alive, right? So I don’t need to make sure I was born with powers because I WAS born with powers, which means it happened in another universe. So I don’t have to.” Only to then realize that we’re just in the universe where he DID do that but then the only justification is “someone had to” right? Wrong. Let’s talk about the rest of his “complex” motives

So I give a pass to “I had to make sure I was born”, but now we see why he had to do this whole deal and what he declares at the end of the game. That there’s some religious fanatic who intends to blow up the world and completely end humanity. And he released Radical-6 in the VLR timeline hoping that it would kill the terroris only killing 4 billion people instead of 6 billion people. In the timeline at the end of ZTD, he says that they had used this experience to hone the skills of the Shifters that way they could use their newly honed take down the religious fanatic WITHOUT Radical-6 and save the world.

What?

Now......before I tear into this.....I have ONE nice thing to say. The “unleash radical 6 and kill 4 billion vs let a terrorist end humanity” gambit IS cleverly foreshadowed with the radical 6 decision game with Q Team. But also wouldn’t that have made, like 1800 times more narrative sense to give that decision game to team D who KNOWS the impact of radical 6, or team C who he explains this plan to later on? Damn, even my nice thing was backhanded. Alright let’s REALLY tear into it.

FIRST of all, this is the exact same plot of Virtue’s Last Reward. Only difference is that somehow Akane and Junpei are just as skilled at this technique as Sigma and Phi despite the latter going to do Moon Training (granted the moon training was also to give them enough of a jump to go back 45 years). Speaking of Virtue’s Last Reward, this game also reveals that Delta is Brother, the leader of Free the Soul. A group of religious fanatics. So I wouldn’t be especially shocked if the religious fanatic is working with Free the Soul. But for the sake of this argument, let’s just say they aren’t with FtS. How in the Flavor-Blasted FUCK does he know this? Did somebody Shift back from that timeline and then just get Mind hacked (and we’ll fUCKING talk about Mind Hacking dont you worry)? How would that be the only piece of information known about the end of the god damn world? And if there IS more, then why the fuck wouldn’t you tell them the information? How does he know that it’s inevitable when apparently a god damn snail can unleash Radical-6?

I call bullshit on the “religious fanatic” thing. Wanna know why? Because at this point, Delta had already founded Free The Soul. He started this shit in 1938. At this point in time, he and the rest of the Free the Soul had already kidnapped Alice’s dad to create clones of his dead brother. He was pushing for a new world order and then in the VLR timeline, tried to PREVENT this whole thing from happening by sending Dio to the Moon. So if he actually gave a shit about “honing their abilities” then why would he do everything in his power to stop it? There is ONE out that there can be, but it’s something not even HINTED at (and I’ll talk about this later), but I think that "religious fanatic” is a big ol’ lie that he made up to try and save face when he was faced with a consequence, but even that explanation makes no sense since he’s like “lol shoot me if u wanna I wont mind hack you”

And let’s talk about mind hacking. Let’s fucking talk about Mind Hacking. Adding Mind Hacking was stupid, completely pointless, out of left field, and actively makes Delta a worse character. For those that don’t know, Mind Hacking is an ability that only Delta has (and I guess the player character technically but that’s a whole meta thing from VLR that doesn’t get followed up on) where you can read people’s minds and also fuckin control them. Why? Why was this necessary, ZTD? You wanna know what I thought was really neat? When I saw that different timelines produced different X-Codes. I thought “oh shit, I know this is Game Stuff, but the sheer foresight of the villain to do that? That’s some Moriarty shit.” It would require some insane explanations, but we’ve had enough sci-fi that we could imagine with enough advanced tech, you could set up systems that could use conditionals to give certain responses based on certain outcomes. Like if someone dies after the decontamination room button is pressed, then the central computer outputs a different X-Code than if it’s after the initial vote. Just make up a new tech that accounts for Shifting (plus the QUANTUM COMPUTER you have RIGHT THERE) and you could make a villain with so much calculated foresight that he’s just a god damn genius. But no. Mind hacking. None of that interesting stuff, just “lol I read ur mind idiot”. No outwitting anyone, just “lol get mindhacked eric u scrub bang bang”.

Honest to god, honest to FUCKING god, do you want to know how cool the final cutscene would have made Delta look if he walked out and just KNEW what happened in another timeline because of his plans. Like everyone recognizes him as Delta and he just goes “ohoho I see you had a fun time in my other timeline” using that deduction alone. But nah, he’s just like “yo I just mindhacked y’all, nice experience y’all had” I hate mind hacking so much. There’s no part of his plan where he NEEDED to mind hack in order to succeed that could have been written without mind hacking.

Now there’s a bit of a missed opportunity here that could both make mind hacking relevant, made his motive not shit, and also maybe even developed him into a SUPER interesting character! I know this is a bit fanfic-y, but hear me out. Make Delta a VICTIM of the stable time loop/bootstrap paradox. For those who don’t know, the bootstrap paradox is when time travel makes certain events happen seemingly out of thin air since they are their own cause. Basically it’s this clip from Milo Murphy. This is something that seems like it’s KINDA there in the subtext, but if they actually dove into it, they could have a GOLD mine.

What if we keep the mindhacking, and before he even MAKES Free the Soul, he mindhacks someone who experienced the events of the “religious fanatic”. But not just anyone. An experienced SHIFTer who made it their goal to stop this religious fanatic. After hundreds of attempts, they still fail. Delta sees this and determines it to be inevitable. So he’s having fun, cursed by the knowledge of an inevitable apocalypse. Then he meets Akane, Phi, Sigma, or Junpei after they had undergone the events of VLR and ZTD. He learns that particular timeline. A bleak future, yes, but one single future where humanity is alive. He sees two futures, one in which all of humanity dies, and one where he is the leader of a religious cult that wipes out 4 Billion People with a deadly pandemic. And the idea of being that person disgusts him. He despises it. But he’s completely resigned to fate. He knows that things must go precisely as he’s seen at the price of humanity, too frightened by such a burden to even take a toe off of the predetermined pathway. His motive is that he’s so tightly bound to fate and so afraid to let it slip that he has no choice but to commit the atrocities, despising himself for it every step of the way, but considering it better than the inevitable alternative. It would give a purpose for the mindhacking powers, it would give him a solid motive, and it would make the ending SO much stronger, showing the contrast between a group of SHIFTers confident that they can change fate and the man who is completely resigned to his own. Fuck, I might steal this character concept because I REALLY think this idea would work to make an interesting villain!

Like I mentioned, this is KINDA there in subtext (with him quite frequently saying “life truly is unfair”) and this could be an interpretation of the character, but if ZTD had explored that theme, then holy hell what an interesting character Delta would be.

But even WITH this fix, holy hell, this plan is stupid. Because guess what, dingus. You just created like 30 new timelines that all end in annihilation.

He coulda said ONE line about “even if there is only one history that ends nicely, that is solace enough”, that might have been dark, but still powerful. You know, add some depth. But instead, he’s just like “hmm hmm shoot me”

And the Q Twist? I’m honestly not as mad at it as I should be. On one hand, it does that cute thing where there are little bits of foreshadowing so when you rewatch it, you notice little bits like shadows and stuff, but on the other hand, there are PLENTY of points where either the camera just straight up lies to you and doesn’t show him when he should be there or Delta’s just been fuckin SHMOOVIN on his wheelchair around the room constantly to stay out of the camera and everyone’s just been kinda chill with it. Maybe if they had been more careful with the camera it could have delivered a TOUCH better. Like, even if the shots are a bit off, that’s noticeable enough to be part of the hint, no? I don’t have as much to say about this, mostly because this post is getting long as fuck so I’m gonna wrap it up so I can move on with my life for a bit.

So even with ALL OF THAT, I still enjoyed playing the game. That’s right, compliment sandwich time. The three wards all being one ward was a really neat reveal. The fact that you can shoot Delta in one scene is creative with its replay value. I’m glad they touched on the philosophical idea of what happens to the people who made it out from the coin flip only to get SHIFTed into the exploding lab, and exploring that idea was fun. I absolutely lost my mind at the idea of the gun to sigmas head had a random chance of firing and then seeing it elaborated on in the dice scene directly after it. Gab is a good boy.

Cant wait to play AI