#found out that was actually the original ending recently and i do feel kinda robbed

[micahdotgov]

he's got a 9 to 5 so she takes the night shift... martin hart must die for the way he treats women im dead serious

[hoseas-angry-ghost]

YES YES YES I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR UR THEORIES

Hello anon! I am very surprised anyone wants to hear my chutney but here's my Strange Man Hot Take with some hopefully interesting info for curious parties:

To be honest, R* included so much misdirection around the Strange Man's identity (especially in RDR1) that I'm not *totally* convinced they're married to any one idea. RDR2 also complicated things by introducing new religions into Red Dead's world (Voodoo, Old Norse, etc.): he's no longer limited to just Christian / Western interpretations, as in RDR1, and it's possible R* might try to syncretise him with figures from other faiths (they did place Bayall Edge in Bayou Nwa, where most of the Voodoo stuff is).

At the same time, though, I think RDR2 actually narrowed things down somewhat in terms of the direction R* chose to take his character, and what we were shown of that. There's still a level of misdirection in RDR2, but IMO, it almost comes off as half-hearted in comparison to what was basically trolling in RDR1 -- it seems like they were a lot more focused on playing the "bad news" angle the second time round.

Based on what we know, and on the balance of things, I'm not convinced that the Strange Man is necessarily meant to be any one thing or figure, but I do think he's meant to fulfil some type of Satanic role within Red Dead's world, either in main or in part.

I won't compare and dissect other theories or anything, I just thought I'd list off some things that people might find interesting:

Armadillo. The deal between the Strange Man and Herbert Moon seems to be a pretty textbook Faustian bargain: Moon is offered earthly rewards ("happiness or two generations"), and although the price was (tellingly?) never specified, it seems like the recent Blood Money update for RDO all but confirmed that the cost was probably his soul. Although it's left ambiguous what Moon actually chose, the Armadillo curse was possibly an unforeseen (for Moon) consequence of the deal's terms, which would fit with similar tales of the devil or demon in question taking liberties with their end of the bargain.

In the files, there's some great audio of Moon off the shits and straight-up saying "I've made a deal with the devil, and I will never truly die!" It's possible this was cut for its own reasons (too overt?), but as a lot of stuff was apparently cut from Armadillo, I'm guessing it was either cut when Arthur in New Austin got cut, or it was part of something that R* didn't have time to implement in the epilogue. Either way, if it's not actually in the game then it's not technically canon, but it is an indication of what R* was thinking during development.

There's a lot of audio from the Armadillo townsfolk in general about devils and "devil curses," but the only thing I know of that definitely made it into the game is a line from the town crier ("Devil has the town in his hand").

There's audio of the Armadillo bartender saying "I heard the Tillworths made a deal with the devil to keep from gettin' sick! I don't wanna die any more than the next man, but ain't no safety worth a man's soul." Possibly idle gossip, but given Moon, possibly not.

RDO seemed to flirt with the idea of soul-selling a little bit with Old Man Jones' line "Well, this is America, so anything can be bought -- even souls," but then RDO pretty much just came right out and said it with Bluewater John in the Blood Money update. Bluewater John also apparently made a deal, almost definitely with the Strange Man (given the Moon deal and how close Bayall Edge is to all the drama); he was based on blues musician Robert Johnson and the myth that he sold his soul to the devil for mastery of the guitar. It's basically a rehash of the Moon deal, except it's... not subtle in its dialogue about deals, devils and souls.

"I GAVE EVERYTHING FOR ART, AND I LEARNED TOO MUCH AND NOTHING AT ALL" written on the wall at Bayall Edge also sounds like a reference to another one of these deals to me ("everything" being their soul, and "I learned too much and nothing at all" the foolishness of accepting eternal damnation for temporary knowledge). I think Bayall Edge might have originally belonged to a painter who struck a deal with the Strange Man for artistic skill, but then the Strange Man slowly possessed him or something -- which could be why some of the landscapes depict RDR1's I Know You locations, and why the writings on the wall kind of look like they deteriorate in quality. The puddle of blood at the foot of the portrait might also be linked to this somehow (whose is it?).

It's the deal-making for souls that really pushed the "devil" theory over the edge for me, because I can't think of whose wheelhouse that would be in except a devil's, or someone similarly malevolent.

Alternative name. The Strange Man's character model is called cs_mysteriousstranger in RDR2, and he's referred to as "the mysterious stranger" at least once in RDR1's in-game text. This could be a reference to The Mysterious Stranger, written by Mark Twain between 1897-1908, in which the stranger is a supernatural being called Satan. (At the end of the last version written, he tells the protagonist that nothing really exists and their lives are just a dream.)

Bayall Edge. Bayall Edge was possibly based on a Louisiana urban myth called the Devil's Toy Box, which is "described as a shack. From the outside, it is unappealing and average. ...The inside of the shack consists of floor-to-ceiling mirrors, including the walls. No one can last more than five minutes in this room. ...According to the legend, if you stood inside this mirror-room alone for too long, supposedly the devil would show up and steal your soul." The Strange Man does show up in the mirror eventually, and it's kind of curious that the paintings that change depending on your Honour act as metaphorical mirrors. This was also cut, but in the files, Arthur's drawing of the interior of Bayall Edge is unusually sloppy, like his faculties were impaired or something.

"Awful, fascinating and seductive". John writes this about Bayall Edge after the portrait is finished, and I think that's as good a description of something like the / a devil as any, but "seductive" is a big red flag for me, because it's such an odd choice of word and, from a Christian perspective, it's so loaded with connotations of evil and sin and temptation.

I Know You. Some have pointed out that I Know You in RDR1 resembles the Temptation of Christ, as it also takes place in three separate locations in the desert, and John is given moral tests in which he must choose between higher virtue or worldly vice. John is also, in a weird way, a kind of Christ-like figure in that he ultimately sacrifices his life for others. I do think the "temptation" in these encounters is very surreptitious but very much there ("Or rob her yourself" -- excuse me??), but they may also be operating on a Biblical definition of the word, i.e. a test or trial with the free choice of committing sin.

RDR1 dialogue. I don't want to get *too* much into this because I feel like we're all just getting punked in RDR1, but I think the Strange Man's dialogue broadly fits with something like a "devil" interpretation, or at least doesn't contradict it.

I'm thinking particularly of lines like "Damn you!" / "Yes, many have" (which would work metaphorically but also literally, given that the devil was thrown from heaven by God and his angels), and "I hope my boy turns out just like you" (of all the leading theories, I think Satan is the only figure who's popularly conceptualised as having a son, or prophesied to have a son -- God obviously had a son, but that ship kinda sailed).

I think the "accountant" line refers to Honour (which even uses an invisible numerical system), and how John's fate depends on the number of both good and bad acts he's committed throughout his life, and how these weigh against each other. If the Strange Man likes to collect souls, then he would have a vested interest in auditing you and seeing if your accounts are in the black or the red, as it were (and providing you with opportunities to push yourself further into the latter...), because if you're bankrupt, you're his.

Blind Man Cassidy. Interestingly, Cassidy seems to distinguish between "Death" and the Strange Man, implying that he's something else beyond his understanding: in one of Arthur's fortunes, after his TB diagnosis, he says "the man with no nose [Death] is coming for you," but in one of John's fortunes, he says "Two strangers seek thee: one from this world, perhaps one from another. One brings hatred; I'm not so sure what the other brings."

Arthur's cut dialogue. In the files, there's audio of Arthur having the exact same conversation with Herbert Moon as John in the epilogue, asking about the Strange Man picture because he "just seemed familiar". I think it's interesting that, like John, Arthur also would have apparently recognised the Strange Man despite (presumably) never seeing him before. Given how strong a theme morality is in Red Dead -- and how much both John and Arthur struggle with it -- my theory is that they find the Strange Man vaguely familiar because they're both familiar with the evil within themselves, or the potential for evil; and likewise, the Strange Man "knows" John because he embodies evil in some sense, so is aware of John's worst sins (like his involvement at Blackwater), or possibly even all of his sins (which would be, like, a lot).

Honourable mention: There's such a greater emphasis on conspiracies, myths, etc. in RDR2 that I half-wonder if the Strange Man's RDR2 incarnation was partly inspired by Hat Man (~excuse the link~ but often it's hard to find good sources for the kind of weird shit R* includes in their games).

ANYWAY, this got a little long but I hope someone found all this at least passably interesting. Thanks again for letting me ramble about the video game man, anon!

[a-solitary-marshmallow]

Found You

Note: Hey! Damn, it's been a while since I posted. School finals and then not having a laptop for weeks will do that to you, apparently. Anyway, this is a oneshot I had lots of fun writing! Early in my werewolf Stan AU, someone on AO3 commented that it would be pretty cool if Stan managed to escape, and... well, you'll see. Thanks to the person who gave me this idea! Hope you all enjoy :)

________________________________________

Stan was beginning to think that it was time to re-evaluate his life.

How many times did a guy have to chew his way out of something before coming to that conclusion? Twice, apparently. At least this time he’d had wolf fangs to back him up; the last time he’d chewed his way out of a sticky situation he hadn’t even had that.

He’d been so desperate for so long to just do what Pa had ordered. Make millions, prove to everyone that he wasn’t just a failure, be welcomed back home. But – it was never gonna be enough, was it? He may as well stop living in a fantasy world.

Fuck getting rich and being accepted back into his family, Stan just wanted to sleep in a bed. He wondered idly if this backwater town was hiring waiters or something. Didn’t need high school credentials or a valid ID to be a waiter, right? Sure the pay was shit and there was no hope of getting rich enough to make Pa happy, but he might be able to afford a cheap motel or something.

Not that Stan looked like prime employee material right now. When he’d first stumbled into this diner the waitress had looked like she was expecting him to either rob the place or drop down dead in front of her. Now it seemed like her suspicion had given way to pity because she placed a slice of pie in front of him alongside the coffee he’d ordered.

“It’s on the house.”

Hey, he’d take what he could get.

Stan dug into his pie, groaning happily at the warmth seeping through his mouth. The pleasure of eating actual food was slightly marred by the ache in his jaw. He winced and poked at his teeth with his tongue, checking out the damage. All things considered? Not bad. It probably wouldn’t take more than a few weeks to heal the worst of the damage. Hey, werewolf perks.

Luckily Stan had only needed to break the lock of Ford’s cage to escape – if he’d tried chewing through the bars he wasn’t sure he would have any teeth left at the end of it. He wasn’t sure what he would have done if there had been heavier security. He’d managed to break himself out before shifting into human form to unlatch the shed door, limping into the woods as quickly as he could while the night still hung heavy and quiet. He’d finally found his car and gunned it until he ended up in this dump, a town a few miles away. Sitting in this booth was the first time he’d rested since getting out of there and he was beginning to realize that everything hurt.

The whole ‘nearly-beaten-to-death’ thing wasn’t new to Stan, but that didn’t make in pleasant. From the pain in his chest he was pretty sure at least one rib was broken. Peering at his reflection in a spoon revealed that he was also covered in a myriad of ugly black, brown and yellow bruises like a patchwork blanket – a patchwork blanket with a mullet. Ugh. He put the spoon back to its original purpose of scooping pie, so he didn’t have to look at his reflection anymore.

Also, he couldn’t remember hurting his neck, but he must have somehow because a spot on the back of it was tender and swollen. When Stan reached up to feel it there was a little lump. Maybe he could get some ice for that to bring the swelling down? Nah, no use when his whole face looked like a discoloured turnip.

He wolfed down (haha, wolfed) the last of his sad little meal and felt around in his pockets for spare change. He could just finish his coffee and run, but that would make a pretty bad first impression and he was still hoping to get hired. On the other hand, this coffee was expensive as shit and Stan could probably buy himself a cheap burger or something with the cash tomorrow. Would it be better to make a good impression, stick around in this town and look for work, or steal now and search for another place?

He gulped down a mouthful of scalding, bitter coffee. It was way better than lapping lukewarm water from a metal bowl. Upgrades, people. Upgrades.

The door gave a stupidly cheerful jingle that Stan resented – partly on principle, and partly because who the fuck goes to a diner at three in the morning? (Except for Stan, because he was pathetic, and of course the waitress. At least she got paid to be there.) Stan took another sip of his drink and glanced across to get a look at the other sad sack who had just come in.

He choked.

Because holy shit that was Ford standing in the doorway, staring right back at him.

Ford’s glasses were askew and his hair mussed, like a man who had recently crawled out of bed. How the hell was he there? Stan had barely left an hour ago! He coughed and thumped at his chest to encourage his stupid lungs to start breathing again.

Ford’s eyes travelled down to some machine doohickey he was holding, and then back up to Stan. A frown flashed across his features.

“…there you are.”

Stan tried to speak but it came out as a wheeze. He cleared his throat and tried again.

“Uh – Ford. Didn’t – um – didn’t think I’d run into you here.”

Ford walked over and slid into the booth across from Stan, eyes scanning him. The intense gaze made Stan shrink back into his seat and cough uncomfortably. Well, at least Ford had no reason to believe that Stan was the werewolf he was missing?

“Are you some kind of – werewolf?” Ford demanded.

…shit.

Stan schooled his expression into a grin, trying to ignore the thundering of his heart pounding against his chest. “Werewolf? Psh, Ford, you know those don’t exist.”

Ford rolled his eyes at Stan’s forced nonchalance. “Stanley, please. I tagged you with a tracker, I know it’s you.”

Well, Ford kinda had him there.

“Wait, wait wait wait – you chipped me?” Stan hissed. Ford only nodded to himself with self-satisfaction. Stan cursed and reached up to scratch at that tiny lump in his neck, wincing as his fingers prodded tender flesh. Damn. He should have noticed earlier and clawed it out.

And now Ford was watching him with that calculating stare. Stan stared back defiantly, swallowing down the growl that bubbled up in his chest. He would not be out-stared, dammit.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Ford’s question broke the frigid silence. Stan blinked.

“You – uh, what?”

Ford pressed on. “Why didn’t you tell me what you were? Who you were? Hell, this entire mess could have been avoided if you’d just-”

“Oh, so it’s my fault, is it?” Stan couldn’t bite down a hint of a growl, and he took pleasure in seeing his brother’s eyes widen at the low rumble.

“…I didn’t say that.”

“May as well have.” Calm down, he had to calm down. He couldn’t afford to lose his cool in front of people. Of course, it would have been easier to control himself if he wasn’t exhausted and aching all over and starving and shivering and afraid and so so angry. The gritting of his teeth was already becoming awkward around sharp canines and the beginnings of a large, lolling tongue. He had to get out of there now.

“-back to my house.” Ford was continuing. How long had he been speaking for? “You could be a danger to yourself and others in this state.”

“I’m fine.” Stan stood up roughly. Thank god the waitress had ducked into the kitchen for something – she wouldn’t be monitoring to make sure he paid. And as an added bonus she also wouldn’t see the inhuman gleam of his irises. He yanked his hood over his head just to be sure and stalked for the door.

“Need I remind you that you attacked a man just yesterday?” Ford followed him relentlessly. Stan shouldered through the door and his dirty boots crunched in the thin layer of snow outside. Fat flakes spiraled down around him and stung his face as he stomped to his car, Ford in fast pursuit.

Ugh, the snow muffled the sounds around him so all he could hear were the sounds of two bodies, magnified and echoing – harsh breathing and the pounding of blood in his ears, crunching of footsteps behind him and the minute scrape of fabric brushing against itself in movement. The sensation of being followed made him shiver, made every muscle in his tired body tense.

It’s just Ford. Not some rando. He won’t hurt you, calm down. Focus on the moment, Ford is talking to you.

“No.” Stan snapped out. “No, I attacked his fucking dog. He’s the one who tried to bash my skull in.”

Footsteps behind him brought to mind a similar sound. Footsteps crunching in snow as the person followed him when he tried to crawl away. He could still see the burly figure looming over him. Red, red hair and red, red blood on his own pelt-

His breaths came quick and fast, gulps of frigid air. Ford was speaking to him loudly but the words all blurred together. A hand reached for him and Stan jerked away.

“No!”

His voice rumbled with a low growl and Stan cursed to himself, claws digging into his own bicep as he tried to force the Shift away. Now was not the time to have a breakdown. He was supposed to be in control, goddammit!

But the urge to Shift sat heavy in his chest, almost an ache. Shifting made him safe, because shifting made him dangerous, and nothing can hurt you if you hurt it first and every cell in his body was screaming for him to run away-

Stan didn’t realize he’d sunk to his knees until he felt the snow soaking through his pant legs. Burning, biting cold. Pain radiated from his arm, too – his claws had slid under the skin of his arm and sent pain stinging through him. But the pain was good, it kept him grounded.

“Stanley-”

“Shut. Up.” Stan growled out. Ford shut up.

Deep breath in, deep breath out, forcing his lungs to expand and contract. Slowly the Shift settled itself, claws shrinking into dirty nails and fangs becoming blunt and fur (when had the fur appeared?) receding into skin.

Stan ran his tongue over his teeth to ensure that they were wholly human once again. The fluctuation between states hadn’t helped their aching – his gums throbbed and he could taste blood.

“Oooookay.” He pulled in another deep breath and let it out slowly. “Alright. I’m good.”

Ugh, the snow was soaking through his pants. Stan pulled himself up and tried dusting the white powder off, but his body heat had already caused it to melt into the fabric. He cursed.

“…are you okay?” Ford finally said.

A glance at Ford’s face showed equal amounts of wariness and concern. Which, hey, Stan didn’t think that his brother would be concerned about him, so that was a nice surprise.

…but there was also the possibility that he was just worried Stan would go apeshit and tear him to pieces. That would make more sense.

“You’re fine, I’m not dangerous or anything unless I wanna be.” Stan waved a hand. “Just my Shifting acting up. Funnily enough, it’s hard to not slip into danger mode when you’ve been locked in a cage for hours on end! Funny how that happens, huh?”

Ford had the grace to look a little guilty. He reached to take Stan’s arm, then hesitated before his fingers made contact. “…look. Can I at least take you home? You shouldn’t be driving in this state.”

Stan had to suppress a laugh. Sure, take the homeless man home. That had to be some kind of paradox, right? He spat a glob of blood into the snow to clear his throat before responding. “No need, I’m fine.”

Ford was staring at him in horror now. Stan blinked.

“…what?”

“Was that blood?”

“Er. Yeah. Why?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were badly injured? You could have internal bleeding!” Ford shrilled, making Stan take a step back and laugh nervously.

“Seriously, I’m fine, I just broke a couple teeth on the-”

“You broke a couple -” Ford spluttered. “I’m taking you to the hospital right now.”

“I don’t need to go to the-”

“We are going to the hospital now!”

“Ford-”

“Hospital. Now.”

…you know what? Stan’s day couldn’t get any weirder. He shrugged.

Ford grabbed him by the arm and started towing him through the car park, Stan trying not to limp as he followed. From Ford’s worried cluck he didn’t do a very good job.

“Aren’t you gonna, like, try to study me or whatever?” Stan managed as he was pushed into a car. Ford dropped into the driver’s seat.

“Of course I am, I’ve never seen a werewolf before, but that will be after I know my brother isn’t dying!”

“…fair enough. Can I pick the music?”

“No.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #420

lol blaze it (i’m funny i swear)

In your opinion, which fast food place has the best fries? Without a doubt, Bojangle's. Good. Shit. Are there hurricanes where you live? Yeah, they're common here. What do you hate the most about yourself? I'd really rather not get into this right about now. What song are you listening to right now? "Beast of Gévaudan" by Powerwolf. What was your first concert? Alice Cooper. Also my only concert. What’s your favorite Johnny Depp movie? Alice In Wonderland. Who did you last say “I love you” to? My sister. Do you like pumpkin pie? Anything pumpkin-flavored is a hell no from me. Do you know anyone named Austin? Knew, rather. Do you know anyone who is having a baby? My friend recently announced she and her husband are having their second child in December. What was the last thing you cried about? Just PTSD. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? I like both, but I prefer chocolate. Do you think you are an argumentative person? Definitely not. How many deep dark secrets do you have? Two or so, idk. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings at Buffalo Wild Wings with one of the hottest sauces. Wanted to die. ... Yet I continued to get that one whenever I went for years lmao. Who last called you sexy? I don't know. Would you class yourself as a good role model? In some ways, but in a lot of other ways, no. Are you scared of the dark? No. Do you have a motto? No. Who did you last see on webcam? The doctor that overlooks my TMS progress. Do you need a haircut? I need a trim for sure. How would you react if your mother told you that she was pregnant again? Well, considering 1.) she's way past menopause and especially 2.) she's had a complete hysterectomy, y'know... that's kind of impossible. She also hasn't been with a guy in many years, so she would have to be joking. You log into Facebook and see the red ‘1’ notification next to the message icon. Who do you want it to be? -___- Would you rather exercise alone or with other people? ALONE. You will NOT see me exercise in front of other people. What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? The most involved is DEFINITELY World of Warcraft, and I guess you could consider it the hardest too, given some of the much more difficult things I've done in it. It itself isn't a hard game whatsoever, but you can pursue some really hard achievements. Ever watch the show Supernatural? If you have, then what’s your favorite episode? I used to love it, but just stopped watching eventually. My fave episode... Man, it's been too long to remember many. Probably one of the funnier ones. I remember I specifically liked the bit where they were in your everyday comedy show, as well as the one where I THINK Dean kept trying to prevent Sam from dying. I just remember the "Eye of the Tiger" bit that is pure gold. Ever heard of flavored honey? If so, what’s you’re favorite flavor? Oh, no, but that sounds good. Do you remember what your favorite show was when you were little? Yeah, Pokemon. Do you put anything besides cheese on grilled cheese sandwiches? Besides butter, which I think is pretty standard, no. When it comes to books, what do you think is the “perfect” amount of pages? Uh, I dunno. It depends on the book. I don't really care about page numbers. Would you ever be interested in going scuba diving? Yeah. Out of all of your friends/relatives, who would you say has the best vocabulary? Girt, probably. Are any of your fingers or toes deformed? What about the nails? I don't think so? When is the last time you cried? I was sobbing earlier today, fun stuff. Would you ever date somebody that has been divorced more than once? Most likely not. ESPECIALLY at my age. What are some stereotypically nerdy things that you like? Oh god. WoW, M:tG, big glasses, anime (does that count? idk really), video games... a lot of stuff, really. Have you ever attended a wedding that ended where the bride and groom didn’t actually get married? What happened? Y I K E S, no. That would be SO uncomf. What scares you the most about becoming a mother (hypothetically, if you don’t want to have children)? Actually raising it properly, physically and emotionally. Would you ever want a job in fashion? What would you enjoy about that type of job? No. Would you ever be a surrogate mother? No. What do you think would be the best and worst parts about being a twin? It'd be cool to have someone you feel an almost supernatural connection towards, but I'd also feel like I wasn't as "original" as I would be if I was born alone. Do you feel that your childhood was more rough compared to others around you? I mean it wasn't awful at all, but sure, in some ways compared to at least someone. How would you react if you found out today that you were actually adopted? Well today I'm a wreck, so don't tell me. I want to know that I wasn't lied to for 25 years. Have either of your parents ever cheated on one another before, that you know of? How would you react if you found out today that one of them cheated? I'm not entirely clear on this, but I'm 90% sure Dad cheated on Mom with his now-wife. Dad also accused Mom of cheating, but I HIGHLY doubt that's true. Do you like cleaning and organizing? Not really. How would you react if you found out you were infertile? If you don’t plan on having kids to begin with, what is a long-term goal you’d be crushed to find out was impossible to achieve? Fuck having kids. I'd be a terrible mother. So to answer the other question, I'll be pretty, pretty sad if I can't get permission to spread Teddy's ashes at Yellowstone. Would you take your dream job if it were out of the country? Well, obviously not considering my dream job is a meerkat biologist, and I'm not moving to Africa. Have you ever been robbed? No. Is anyone close to you an alcoholic? Not anymore. Dad was, but he's recovered. Have you ever dumped anyone? Yes. What kind of tea do you drink? I hate tea. Do you know anyone in a gang? No, and I hope I never do. What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you? Risk his fucking sanity and health to try to hold my fucked up self up. What is your orientation? Gay? Straight? Metrosexual? Anything other? Bisexual. I've kinda been questioning pansexual of the late, though. I don't know. Have you ever done anything really dangerous or illegal with friends? Not to my memory. Name three feelings you’re feeling right now: Regret. Hopelessness. Loneliness. And the reasons for these feelings? Take a wild fuckin' guess. How do you feel about your life right now? It's an actual dumpster fire. Is it easy for you to like yourself? Why or why not? Fuck no. Because there's just not very much TO like about me. Even on my good days, I see flaw after flaw in myself. What subjects come naturally to you? English, some aspects of science. What subjects do not? Math, economics, politics, history... Do you read more fiction or more non-fiction books? Definitely fiction. When I read a book, I want an escape from the real world. How has today been for you? BOY HOWDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What did you do? Went to TMS therapy. Sat on the Internet. Cried. :^) Are there any candles lit in the room you’re in? No. Are there any lava lamps near you? No. I want one, though. Do you like cats or dogs better? Cats. Are any of your friends a pothead? Yes. What’s a goal you’re trying to accomplish soon? Start losing weight again. That'd be pretty goddamn grand. Are you a high maintenance person? Definitely not. The last time you yelled as loud as you could, what was the reason? I was having a nightmare. Have you ever been heartbroken? For sure. Who did that to you? First Dad, then Jason. Did you go through an ugly stage as a kid? Boy, did I. The last type of sandwich you made or ate: A pb&j. The last time you spent most of the day in bed: Literally every day. I do just about everything in bed. Pathetic, I know. The last friend or acquaintance you made: Ummmm idk. The last thing you took pictures of: A hydrangea bush. The last time you were scared: Now. The future is terrifying, my friend. The last thing you looked up online: The definition of a word to ensure I was using it correctly. The last thing you disagreed with: So I've been watching John Wolfe's old stream of him playing Alice: Madness Returns, and he went on a total soapbox about smoking being okay essentially because we're all gonna die eventually from something, and I really disagreed with it. Does your house have a separate laundry room? No, just like a closet. Do your parents still help you financially? I'm still entirely dependent on them. Does your car have a backup camera? No. Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? Not to my knowledge. Have you ever had a pet that lived to be really old for its breed/species? REALLY old, no. Teddy was definitely up there, but beagles have lived longer. What was the last strong scent you smelled? Lysol. Have you ever told someone to their face that they were ugly? Christ, no. Is your bed against more than one of your walls? No. Have you ever been attracted to someone’s parent? Don't think so? Have you ever pole danced before? No. Have you ever broken into someone’s house? No. Have you ever seen a live bat? Yes. What is the most amount of money you’ve spent on a meal before? I dunno. Have you ever taken a woodshop class? No. How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? Funny you ask, because as of today I decided to take a break from it for awhile. I've found it's nothing more than a breeding ground for envy and making me feel like a horribly incompetent adult. Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? I had one photography teacher in college that I was NOT a fan of. He was super, super hard on everyone, like to an unnecessary degree. We were students, not pros. Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? No. Are your parents supportive of you? Somehow.

[whats-rambled-rambled]

Stuck in reverse - playlist

You can find it on Spotify here. 

Okay, let’s talk about it! 

Sam Smith – Fix you

I remember crying to the original song (by Coldplay) back in 2005. Whoo boy, lots of teenage feelings!

I’m not the biggest fan of Sam Smith’s music, but one day I was just driving home from work and this song began playing on the radio and by the end of it I could barely see the road.

// When you try your best, but you don’t succeed When you get what you want, but not what you need When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep Stuck in reverse And the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you can’t replace When you love someone, but it goes to waste Could it be worse? //

That one line – stuck in reverse – felt just so perfect for a story set in the universe where people invert themselves back and forth.

It became one of the three main songs that inspired me to write the whole damn thing, and also the only title in the story that is not a title of a song as well.

Chapter 1: Ben Platt – Ease my mind 

This is one of the songs I have on my daily playlist, I just love it, and the lyrics are so fitting:

//Most days I wake up with a pit in my chest There are thoughts that I can’t put to rest There’s a worry that I can’t place

Most nights, I am restless and quiet won’t come So I lay there and wait for the sun There’s a trouble that won’t show its face

You came out of nowhere and you cut through all the noise I make sense to the madness when I listen to your voice//

We learn more about the nightmares in the next chapters, but it all starts here. That melancholic vibe stuck with me for the rest of the story I guess.

Bonus song: Lewis Capaldi - Before you go

The combat scene in one song, or at least what I imagined was going through Reader’s mind at that point.

//I fell by the wayside like everyone else I hate you, I hate you, I hate you but I was just kidding myself Our every moment, I start to replace ‘Cause now that they’re gone, all I hear are the words that I needed to say When you hurt under the surface Like troubled water running cold Well, time can heal but this won’t//

Have you ever felt that way? Trying to hide your broken heart under anger? I don’t know, it just resonated deeply.

The second part of the song kinda seeped into the next chapter:

//Was there something I could’ve said To make your heart beat better? If only I’d have known you had a storm to weather

//Would we be better off by now If I’d have let my walls come down? Maybe, I guess we’ll never know//

Chapter 2: Kaleo - I can’t go on without you

Another song from my daily playlists (side note – I saw Kaleo once live on a music festival and they were mind-blowing, you should really check out more of their work).

It worked with the story because of its desperate and painful mood.

Bonus: Calum Scott - Dancing on my own

Holy shit, I FELT this one. (Been there, done that). Of course I had to write it into Reader’s past. Actually, I wrote it first and then found the song, but it doesn’t matter, that’s the flashback scene right here:

//Somebody said you got a new friend Does she love you better than I can? And there’s a big black sky over my town I know where you’re at, I bet she’s around And yeah, I know it’s stupid But I just gotta see it for myself I’m in the corner, watching you kiss her, I’m right over here, why can’t you see me? And I’m giving it my all //

Chapter 3: Billie Eilish – Bad guy

No feels, pure bop. This song is so BADASS, I really needed to get that vibe into the undercover mission, I didn’t want Reader to be an emotional mess and nothing else, you know?

Bonus: Tones and I – Dance Monkey

I shit you not, I’ve had that one on repeat for the dance scene. There is something incredibly seductive in that beat, I just couldn’t get it out of my head.

Bonus: Kings of Leon – Closer

It just makes my heart clench and leaves me breathless.

Chapter 4: Ben Platt – Bad habit

Ah, that was the moment when I cursed at myself for using Ease my mind for chapter 1, but we already talked about it.

Even though this song is very emotional, it’s not that heartbreaking, you can hear a faint smile here and there and it just makes my heart sing.

And oh my god, those lyrics:

//You always said that I’d come back to you again ‘Cause everybody needs a friend, it’s true Someone to quiet the voices in my head Make ‘em sing to me instead, it’s you Hate to say that I love you Hate to say that I need you Hate to say that I want you But I do Bad habit, I know But I’m needin’ you right now Can you help me out? Can I lean on you? Been one of those days Sun don’t wanna come out Can you help me out? Can I lean on you?//

They just work with that plot, you know?

Bonus: Dodie – Sick of losing soulmates

Another song that just resonates with the story.

//What a strange being you are, God knows where I would be If you hadn’t found me, sitting all alone in the dark A dumb screenshot of youth Watch how a cold broken teen Will desperately lean on a superglued human of proof

What the hell would I be, without you (what the hell would I be) Brave face talk so lightly, hide the truth (hide the truth)

'Cause I’m sick of losing soulmates, so where do we begin I can finally see, you’re as fucked up as me So how do we win?//

Chapter 5: Adele – Someone like you

The whole damn sunset scene + this song on repeat = feels

The pain in her voice? God, it just reduces me to a puddle of tears.

Reader could just sing it at some point to Neil almost word for word.

Bonus: Passenger – Let her go

Okay, the case of that one is quite funny, because I kinda needed to figure out how to get from point A to point B of the chapter, and I was browsing Spotify looking for „campfire songs” or something like that. Of course I’ve heard this one before, but I’ve never actually focused on the lyrics.

And oh boy, suddenly it all became clear.

Headcanon time – in my head, Wheeler and Neil are close friends, she treats him a bit like a younger brother, I just can imagine they know each other very well at that point. Of course she knows hows about his past. Of course she heard about Reader. And she thinks they are both silly babies and they should just kiss, right? That’s why she chooses that song.

Those lyrics – they fit Neil’s backstory so damn well.

//Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go//

And he was stupid enough to let her go. Because his timing was off.

Those lyrics are also perfect to make Reader think about his ex-girlfriend, because of course that is what you’re gonna it’s all about.

Bonus: Del Amitri – Tell her this

Ahh, there it is – the second out of three main songs for Stuck in Reverse.

I remember the moment I found out that Rob Pattinson sings and writes music, then I listened to some of the songs and my heart went whoooosh. So I just had to make Neil play a guitar, I just needed to find out what song would be The One.

Do you remember that flashback about them both watching a tv show on his couch? Here, you’re welcome. 

I recently started rewatching Scrubs and when I got to that episode – ding, ding, ding!

This is the ultimate “hey, I fucked up, I shouldn’t have let you go, I’m an idiot and I love you.”

Chapter 6: Imagine Dragons – Next to me

I adore that song. It warms my heart. I think it fits Neil and Reader’s relationship.

And I needed all the fluffy feelings to switch the tone of the story to something lighter.

Bonus: Michelle Branch – Everywhere

This one is a silly bop, and it always puts me in a good mood. A nice song to listen to when you are happy, in love, and you are making breakfast.

Bonus: Ashlee Simpson – Pieces of me

This one (same as the one before) came to me from Zach Braff’s workout playlist, haha. I mean I almost forgot about it, but it makes me smile every time I hear it, and the lyrics work nicely:

//On a Monday I am waiting Tuesday I am fading And By Wednesday I can’t sleep Then the phone rings I hear you And the darkness is a clear view Cause you’ve come to rescue me

Fall, with you I fall so fast I can hardly catch my breath I hope it lasts

It seems like I can finally Rest my head on something real I like the way that feels It’s as if you know me better Than I ever knew myself I love how you can tell All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me//

Bonus: Kaleo – I want more

Is there such a thing as a warm melancholy? Because that is a vibe I get from that song.

//Turn back, leave all you had Forgive, I’ll forget 'Cause what we need is what we once had Time won’t stand still Just say you will 'Cause I need you there and now

If you leap, I’ll come falling too Running deep 'til that rivers through I don’t mind what you have to do 'Cause I won’t think less, less of you

Yes, I want more, more Looking for more I want more, more 'Cause I want more

Old grounds Feels like the weight has been lifted away So don’t you leave me there wanting more//

Chapter 7: Ben Platt – In case you don’t live forever

I mean it’s not my fault that Ben’s songs make me FEEL things, damn it.

The whole damn song = utter heartbreak when you think about Neil coming back to Reader before he goes back to Stalsk-12 to open that damn lock.

//I, I’ve carried this song in my mind Listen, it’s echoing in me But I haven’t helped you to hear it We, we’ve only got so much time I’m pretty sure it would kill me If you didn’t know the pieces of me are pieces of you

I’ve waited way too long to say Everything you mean to me

In case you don’t live forever, let me tell you now I love you more than you’ll ever wrap your head around In case you don’t live forever, let me tell you the truth I’m everything that I am because of you//

Bonus: Charlene Soraia – Wherever you will go

Why am I doing this to you? Because we all like pain.

This one is for the scene on the deck:

//So lately, been wondering Who will be there to take my place When I’m gone you’ll need love to light the shadows on your face If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all Then between the sand and stone, could you make it on your own

If I could, then I would I’ll go wherever you will go Way up high or down low, I’ll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I’ll find out A way to make it back someday To watch you, to guide you through the darkest of your days If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all Then I hope there’s someone out there who can bring me back to you//

Bonus: Rhys Lewis – No right to love you

No light, only pain and suffering.

//'Cause I have no right to love you When I chose to walk away I have no right to miss you When I didn’t wanna stay And I have no right to need you And I knew what my heart was gonna lose I have no right to love you But I do, I still do Yeah, I still do//

Bonus: Knox Brown x Gallant – Reignite

This song is just so incredible, it makes my palms sweat and my mind going places. Yep, it was on repeat.

Oh you know which scene this one is for.

Bonus: Freya Ridings – Lost without you

The last dialogue. On repeat. Because this song breaks my heart and leaves me a sobbing mess.

//Strangers rushin’ past Just tryna get home But you were the only Safehaven that I’ve known Hits me at full speed Feel like I can’t breathe And nobody knows This pain inside me My world is crumbling I should never Let you go I think I’m lost without you//

(OI, SPOILERS) 

Chapter 8: Florence + The Machine – Never let me go

I have only one thing to say:

Fuck you, Nolan.

Third out of three.

//And it’s over and I’m going under

But I’m not giving up I’m just giving in

Oh, slipping underneath So cold and so sweet

In the arms of the ocean, so sweet and so cold And all this devotion, well, I never knew at all And the questions I have for a sinner released In the arms of the ocean deliver me

(Never let me go, never let me go Never let me go, never let me go)//

Bonus: Sasha Sloan - Dancing with your ghost

Suffer with me.

//Yelling at the sky Screaming at the world Baby, why’d you go away? I’m still your girl Holding on too tight Head up in the clouds Heaven only knows Where you are now

How do I love How do I love again? How do I trust How do I trust again?

I stay up all night Tell myself I’m alright Baby, you’re just harder to see than most I put the record on Wait 'til I hear our song Every night I’m dancing with your ghost Every night I’m dancing with your ghost//

[d-criss-news]

Ryan Murphy’s (Kinda) True ‘Hollywood’ Story: 1940s Meets Gay Stars, Interracial Romance and (Gasp!) a Female Studio Chief

The prolific TV creator and Netflix unveil a revisionist take on the golden age of movies, showing how much (and how little) has shifted in entertainment and beyond: “'Hollywood’ can change the world.”

On an abnormally cold January evening, on the steps of Los Angeles’ Shrine Auditorium, history was being rewritten.

Two actors, one playing Rock Hudson, the other Hudson’s African American screenwriter boyfriend, Archie, were tucked inside a teal blue Packard Club Sedan, awaiting their cue. Outside, it was Oscar night, 1948, and despite warnings of grave backlash, the pair was prepared to step out as a couple for the first time.

Archie exited first, his eyes wide with trepidation, then Rock. In matching white tuxedos, they grabbed for each other’s hands and shuffled nervously down the red carpet.

The press box erupted in hisses, then boos.

“Are we doing the right thing?” Archie whispered.

“Absolutely we are,” Rock replied.

The two exchanged smiles, exhaled and made their way into the theater. Then they stopped and did it again. And again.

Ryan Murphy, the scene’s chief architect, was a few miles east, buried in one of his dozen other projects, but his fingerprints could be detected everywhere. The reimagining — part of his new Netflix anthology series, Hollywood — offers a world in which Hudson (played by Jake Picking) walked openly as a gay man, as opposed to the real-life heartthrob who remained closeted until his death from AIDS in the mid-1980s. Elsewhere in Murphy’s revision of history, an African American actress, played by Laura Harrier, is cast as the star of a major studio picture, written by Hudson’s black boyfriend (Jeremy Pope), helmed by a half-Asian director (Darren Criss) and greenlit by a female studio chief (Patti LuPone) and her gay head of production (Joe Mantello).

If Pose was Murphy’s effort to champion the marginalized, Hollywood’s his shot at imagining such marginalization was undone decades ago. The series, his first without his longtime collaborators at 20th Century Fox Television, drops in its entirety May 1, with a sprawling ensemble of real and fictional characters. It was supposed to feel timely, its period backdrop a reminder of how much and how little has changed in 70-plus years; now, landing in a world grappling with a global pandemic, its 1940s setting could be the escape so many are seeking.

“I’ve always been interested in this kind of buried history, and I wanted to create a universe where these icons got the endings that they deserved,” says Murphy, 55, who’s been waiting out the virus at his home in Los Angeles, with his husband and two young sons, who now require homeschooling. “It’s this beautiful fantasy, and in these times, it could be a sort of balm in some way.”

The Netflix executives who shelled out roughly $300 million for Murphy’s services in 2018 can only hope so. Already, they’ve had to cancel influencer screenings, scrap subway ads and punt on potential plans for a premiere benefit for the now hard-hit Motion Picture Television Fund, which houses several stars of the era in its L.A. retirement facility. As for the show itself, it’s certainly not the broad-sweeping, four-quadrant fare that Netflix is widely thought to prefer. The pilot episode alone features six sex scenes — a mix of gay and straight — and nearly all involve some sort of financial transaction. By episode three, which the show’s writers have nicknamed “night of a thousand dicks,” the characters have found their way to one of director George Cukor’s infamous pool parties.

Still, Netflix head of originals Cindy Holland says that Hollywood is exactly the kind of elevated, inclusive and ultimately hopeful programming that the company wants from Murphy, and the seven-episode limited series was fast-tracked as a result. “What I love,” she says, “is that Ryan is creating a world that he wants to will into existence.”

***

Murphy’s first inkling for Hollywood came over a celebratory dinner with Criss following their fruitful awards run for the Versace installment of American Crime Story. With rosé flowing, the two began discussing a next possible collaboration. Murphy wanted to do something young and hopeful; Criss proposed 1940s Hollywood. The 33-year-old actor had been fascinated by the lore surrounding characters like Scotty Bowers, the L.A. hustler who operated out of a gas station on Hollywood Boulevard, along with golden age stars like Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn, and he was eager to explore the era with Murphy.

“There’s a blinking red light on it that says, ‘Ryan Murphy, Ryan Murphy,’ ” says Criss, “because it’s sexy, it’s fun, it’s glamorous, it’s dangerous and it has resonance now.”

Murphy didn’t disagree. As a student of Hollywood history, he’d already gone down the road with his FX series Feud, which centered its first season on Joan Crawford and Bette Davis. This would simply allow him to dig deeper on figures who’d long captured his attention, from Anna May Wong, the first Chinese American movie star, who was effectively run out of Hollywood, to Hattie McDaniel, the first African American to win an Oscar and not be allowed to sit with her cast in the theater. “I’m always moved by these characters who weren’t fully seen or didn’t get their moment,” says Murphy in an interview on the Paramount lot earlier this year, where he was directing Meryl Streep in The Prom, another Netflix production. At one point, he’d even toyed with the idea of doing a Biography-style anthology series with an episode devoted to each.  

Not long after that dinner, Criss was at a bachelor party when his phone rang. It was Murphy. “He says, 'Do you mind if I just do my thing on this?’ ” says Criss. “And I’m like, 'You’re Ryan fucking Murphy. Do whatever you want!’ ”

So, Murphy picked a collaborator, Ian Brennan, with whom he’d worked on Glee, Scream Queens and The Politician, and the two began quietly tossing around ideas. With the help of a few researchers, they landed on a story that revolved around a Bowers-esque service station, with a staff full of actors and directors looking to be stars. “It was super fun and sexy and salacious,” says Brennan, “but it was also about the #MeToo underbelly of 1940s Hollywood, which felt very, very contemporary.”

The men found it exhilarating to depict sex so explicitly and in every possible combination. “To be able to describe exactly what is happening is really, really cool,” says Brennan. And despite the appetite for such racy content varying dramatically around the globe, Netflix brass was passionate about its inclusion — a marked difference from his and Murphy’s experience on previous shows, where they fought tooth and nail over the mere mention of sexual terms. “I hope this isn’t speaking out of school,” he adds, “but the one thing [Netflix’s vp original series] Brian Wright said to me, was, like, 'Thumbs-up on the sex. If anything, dial that up.’”

From the Pose writers room, producer Janet Mock would see Murphy and Brennan huddled in a nearby room and wonder what the latest “secret Ryan Murphy project” was all about. At one point, Mock found herself pumping intel out of a writers’ assistant, who told her, “It’s a thing called Hollywood, it’s about this gas station.” Having seen the 2017 documentary Scotty and the Secret History of Hollywood, she figured, “OK, there’s no place for me in that. I’ll continue with Pose.”

But that would soon change, beginning with an eye-opening discussion in the writers room about which of the ensemble’s contract players would be picked to star in the film at the center of Hollywood. The role was that of real-life actress Peg Entwistle, a blonde Brit who jumped to her death from the famed Hollywood sign. “At first, we were like, “Well, it can’t be the black girl [Harrier’s Camille], they wouldn’t have done it. …’ And then it was like, 'Well, wait a second, what if it actually was? What if Peg becomes Meg,’ ” says Brennan. One what-if led to another and then another, and before long they’d decided to go back in and start revising history — this time, with Mock as a credited writer.

Now, rather than use the series to, say, showcase the powerlessness of a studio head’s aging housewife, in this case LuPone’s Avis, they tweaked the story so that suddenly it explores what would happen if Avis gained control of her husband’s studio. It was the same for several others, including Rock Hudson, says Murphy’s co-creator. Instead of telling the tragic tale of a person forced to hide, they allowed themselves to explore what would happen if he refused to do so. “Once we began asking, 'What if?’ it became a different show,” says Brennan, with Mantello adding: “It became a fable of what could have been.”

With Netflix execs eager to get the series up on the service, Murphy began loading the cast with his usual mix of familiar names — from Jim Parsons, as Hudson’s real-life closeted agent Henry Wilson, to Rob Reiner, as the head of the fictional Ace Studios — and newer discoveries, like Samara Weaving (Ready or Not) as Reiner’s daughter, or Picking as Hudson and Pope as his fictional boyfriend. As with other recent ensembles, he listed all of them not in order of importance or seniority but rather alphabetically on the call sheet. The message was clear: “The star of the show is the show,” says Murphy. Still, initial hires Criss and David Corenswet, who’d made his debut on The Politician, were given executive producer credits, along with backend points on the series. (There’s already talk of a season two, which would pick up in the late 1960s, with many of the same actors in entirely new roles.)

At some point in the production process, Murphy found himself scaling back the graphic nature of the series, too — a byproduct of his own personal recalibration, he says, having spent so much of his pre-Netflix life fighting to show so much as a woman’s nipple. “When you’re finally free, you have this tendency to go full tilt boogie, but ultimately I became much more interested in the emotion of the characters, and, frankly, I became protective of them,” he explains, suggesting every episode had an X-rated version, an R-rated version and a PG version, and, to the delight of participants like Corenswet, who plays an actor-cum-sex worker, Murphy would almost always select the R one.

“I think Ryan realized as we were shooting that the best part of the sex was the romance — and that’s always great to hear as an actor, especially when it applies to your five-page sex scene with Patti LuPone,” says the 26-year-old Corenswet. LuPone, for her part, was just thrilled she was still asked to do a sex scene at age 71. “Finally!” she bellows, praising Murphy for having both the vision and the courage to take the risks he does: “Ryan’s fearless,” says the Tony winner, who also popped up in Pose, “and I’m so happy to be in his world." 

***

Long before Murphy was a household name, with a big fat Netflix deal to ostensibly take all the risks he wants, he was a frustrated former journalist fighting to change a system that wasn’t built for him. His own secret had been revealed at just 15, when his mother found a drawer full of love letters from his then-22-year-old boyfriend at their home in Indiana. Horrified, she and Murphy’s father threw their son into counseling, hoping he could be "fixed.”

A decade or two later, after his first career as an entertainment writer, Murphy carved out a place for himself in television, where he could exist comfortably as a gay man — so long as he didn’t try to write anyone like himself into scripts. “There were lots of words that they’d use to discriminate against you,” he says, “too flamboyant, too camp, too theatrical, and they were all code.”

By the mid-1990s, he’d joined forces with 10 or so other out or soon-to-be-out creatives, a group that included Nina Jacobson, Greg Berlanti and A Beautiful Mind’s Bruce Cohen. Giving themselves the name “Out There,” they’d meet in courtyards and living rooms to swap horror stories and try to plot a path forward. “We were young and didn’t have much money, but we had a lot of energy and a need to connect with and support each other as gay people working in a straight environment,” says Jacobson, who’d later collaborate with Murphy on American Crime Story and Pose. “And for a lot of us, it was, for the first time, that feeling of community.”

In time, Murphy, like the others, found a way to “monetize [his] pain.” His first creation, Popular, debuted in 1999, and other opportunities followed. Popular begat Nip/Tuck, Nip/Tuck begat Glee, and before he knew it, Murphy had moved from TV’s fringes to its red-hot center. As The New Yorker once wrote, “He changed; the industry changed; he changed the industry.” In early 2018, he signaled that power by signing a nine-figure deal, among the most lucrative in the medium’s history.

So it is perhaps fitting that Murphy’s first project wholly for and from the service includes a scene that trumpets what he calls “the thesis statement” of his career. It begins with Criss’ character, Raymond, being regaled by the story of Anna May Wong’s awe-inspiring screen test for the lead role in the 1937 adaptation of The Good Earth, a part that ultimately went to a far less deserving Caucasian actress. Suggesting it was one of the saddest stories Raymond had ever heard, a film executive played by Mantello responds:

“What’s so sad about it? The picture was a hit. [They] were right. You can’t open a picture with a Chinese lead or a colored one, a number of theaters won’t run it.”

Raymond: “But you said she deserved the part?”

Exec: “Yes, but the hard fact is, had she gotten it, the picture is not a hit.”

Raymond: “How do you know that? You never made the movie, so how do you know it’s not a hit?”

Criss’ character continues with a monologue that is so perfectly Murphy you can almost close your eyes and picture him saying it.  

“Sometimes I think folks in this town don’t really understand the power they have. Movies don’t just show us how the world is, they show us how the world can be. If we change the way that movies are made — you take a chance and you make a different kind of story, I think you can change the world.”

Criss himself would argue that Murphy already has. “His dial is always in extremes. So, if he’s doing Glee or Scream Queens or this, it’s at an 11, almost as a middle finger to reality,” says the actor. “It’s like he turned the dial over to say, 'This is how I’d like to see the world in my wildest dreams. Ain’t it fun?’ ”

In the past two years, since he moved his creative hub from 20th Century Fox TV, where he still maintains a considerable roster, Murphy been responsible for producing roughly 200 LGBTQ characters, many featured as leads. At least a third of his Hollywood cast is older than 70 (“Seventy is the new 40,” he teases), and nearly every project he launches is fronted by a woman — and that’s just in front of the camera. “If you see it, you can be it,” Murphy says often.

It’s a worldview that appeals to Netflix’s Holland, for whom he’s already prepped two films (Prom, The Boys in the Band), two docuseries (Circus of Books, Secret Love) and five seasons of inclusive television, including a Halston miniseries that, along with his 20th programs Pose, American Horror Story and American Crime Story, shut down care of COVID-19 in March. In the weeks since, when he isn’t toggling between Tiger King and MSNBC, Murphy’s kept busy writing two new decidedly hopeful series, each with the express purpose of providing viewers and himself an escape. “Ryan’s the rare creator who speaks to many audiences,” says Holland. “It’s not just gay people or straight people or older people or younger people, it’s really all people who are interested in the human condition.”

To date, Murphy claims he has yet to hear the word “no” from his Netflix bosses, though he’s definitely been nudged in certain directions. “They don’t want me to do small, niche things,” he says, acknowledging that not too long ago a project like Hollywood would have been deemed just that. “But they know how to market this,” he explains, noting that Netflix will push his latest series on viewers who also like love stories, young adult series and LGBTQ fare.

For those who worried the ultra-competitive producer would chafe in a system that doesn’t provide a public report card (aka ratings), he argues that that’s been liberating. Brennan backs him up, revealing how they received initial numbers for The Politician a week or two after it premiered late last summer and then another trove of data a month or so later; and though the latter could effectively game out how many people would watch the series over time, Brennan says, “We were sort of like, 'I don’t think that’s helpful.’ ”

Murphy takes it a step further, insisting he’s no longer interested in the old metrics, like how many people are watching or how many awards a series has generated. “All the things that people tell you will make you feel successful … I have those things, they don’t,” he says. What matters to him now is being able to tell stories that he wishes he or others could have seen. To that end, he can’t help but wonder what his own life would have been had he witnessed Rock Hudson walking the Oscars red carpet as an openly gay man — and though it’s too late to change his own experience, Murphy would like to be able to improve the experience of others. So, he took a chance and made a different kind of story. “Hollywood,” he says, “can change the world.”

[ihearthorror]

My Top 10 Favourite Horror Films of 2020

Every January, most people who review or talk about movies on YouTube tend to piece together a Top 10 list of their favourite movies from the year prior. In order to stand out from the crowd (and also because I was too lazy to do this sooner), I decided to wait until March, by which time most YouTubers aren’t really talking about movies from 2020 anymore.

I know what you’re thinking: sounds kinda stupid – why would anybody care about a Top 10 list of the best movies of 2020…THREE months into the new year!? Well, as you’ve likely heard, 2020 was a year like no other, and as result of the ongoing global pandemic, movie release dates from 2020 were pushed back months, sometimes multiple times. Some films that were supposed to be released last year didn’t arrive until 2021, even though they’re officially considered “2020 films,” according to their profiles on websites like IMBD and Letterboxd.

And so, some of these so-called “2020 films” were not available (at least to me) until only recently, such as Saint Maud or The Dark and the Wicked. I feel like I’ve now had a chance to see almost all of the horror films I’ve wanted to see from last year. In this video, if you care to stick around, I will share with you my Top 10 favourite horror films of 2020. So, here we go…

#10/ The Dark and the Wicked:

A sister and brother return to the family homestead where their father is slowly dying and their mother is understandably distraught but also disturbed and distant. The siblings soon realize that something evil has invaded their family home as they are terrorized by whatever is slowly killing their father. Directed by the same guy behind 2008’s The Strangers, The Dark and the Wicked is at times bleak and unsettling, and it does a good job at keeping you intrigued in this family’s unnerving conflict. However, it felt a bit rushed and undeveloped at other times, and its ending left me somewhat unsatisfied.

#9/ Relic:

Soon after Kay and her daughter Sam return to their remote family home following the disappearance of the family matriarch, the widowed Edna, they discover that something sinister has taken hold of both Edna and the house itself. Although Relic – which was co-produced by Jake Gyllenhaal and marked the feature directorial debut for Natalie Erika James – isn’t exactly offering up any enticing twists or salacious gore, or even a original concept for that matter, it relies on evoking dread and building tension to compel its audience to stay invested until the bitter end.

#8/ Amulet:

Taking its sweet time to unravel, Amulet is centered around Tomaz, an ex-soldier who is now homeless but is offered a place to stay at a decaying house in London, which is inhabited by a beautiful young woman named Magda and her dying mother. As the story moves along, we see that Tomaz is starting to develop feelings for Magda, who seems a bit…off. His feelings for her don’t wane even after Tomaz discovers that there’s something insidious going on in the attic of the house, where Magda’s mother is seemingly imprisoned. Toss in a suspicious nun and you’ve got yourself a creepy little film that seems to have fallen between the cracks.

#7/ The Beach House:

One might argue that not a lot actually happens in The Beach House and that the payoff isn’t worth the investment, but if you go into this film with an open mind and zero expectations, you should at least be satisfied. Two troubled college students head to a deserted beach getaway to spend some time together, but end up struggling to survive alongside some unexpected guests as a mysterious infection disrupts their holiday. Although it is a slow build up to the film’s climax, it is a tense and intriguing ride along the way, as a series of unsettling events give way to an apocalyptic episode that feels almost like a throwback to the sci-fi films of the 1950s. Making his feature film directorial debut, Jeffrey A. Brown elicits with The Beach House those brooding existential thoughts that lay dormant in the deep boroughs of our minds. 

#6/ The Invisible Man:

There’s always an elevated risk when making a modern film based on an old story that has already been told through cinema numerous times before. The last time H.G. Wells’ 1897 novel The Invisible Man had been adapted by Hollywood was in 2000’s Hollow Man, which was panned by critics despite making a sizeable profit. The 2020 adaptation is far superior and is perhaps the best adaptation of Wells’ classic in any medium. Elizabeth Moss gives a stellar performance that draws real emotion, so that we agonize alongside her as she is essentially haunted by a relentless ghost hellbent on controlling every aspect of her life. We live in an era when technology has advanced enough to bring this 124-year-old story to life like never before, while a polished script and an exceptional lead performance gives The Invisible Man a deeper level of emotion and terror.

#5/ Saint Maud:

For most of Saint Maud it is unclear whether certain experiences are actually happening in reality for the main character or if it’s all simply in her head, as some sort of mental breakdown caused by a work-related tragedy. Maud is a young hospice nurse and a newly-converted Roman Catholic who suddenly becomes obsessed with “saving the soul” of the woman she is currently taking care of, Amanda, a hedonistic dancer with a chronic illness. Maud’s behaviour worsens, as does her mental state, as horrific scenes and visions make us question if she’s actually losing her mind or experiencing something beyond this world. Saint Maud is an A24 feature by the way, so that should be enough to know what you’re getting here in terms of quality.

#4/ The Lodge:

Isolation is often embraced as a way to pad a horror film’s fear factor, and it works especially here in The Lodge, as a soon-to-be stepmom becomes stranded at a remote holiday home in the middle of winter with her fiance’s two children. The kids begin to untangle the dark past of their stepmom-to-be and a series of disturbing events transpire as their hope for survival fades. The Lodge is a dreary, atmospheric slow burn that leaves you somewhat unsettled. With its wintry backdrop, stylish sequences, and almost claustrophobic dread, the film doesn’t ever allow its audience to feel at ease for long, insisting that an underlying foreboding remain intact throughout. Although I found the ending somewhat disappointing, I immediately began to concoct a possible prequel that would delve into the backstory of the film’s lead character. One can hope.

#3/ Host:

It’s increasingly difficult to be innovative and original when it comes to horror films these days, especially in the particular genre of so-called “found footage.” Rob Savage’s Host, however, comes off as something different, setting itself apart from most films in this realm in various ways. It centers around six friends who hold a séance via Zoom during a COVID lockdown, guided (at first) by a medium they hired. The séance then takes a dark turn and things soon escalate into madness. Sure, there are elements in Host that are prevalent in numerous horror films, but it uses a modern and topical way to implement them, while also refusing to overstay its welcome by cueing the credits less than an hour in. Overall, this film’s popcorn-and-Saturday-night-movie fun factor is why it ranks so high on this list.

#2/ Possessor:

It’s always a treat to come across an original idea, especially when it’s within the horror realm, and Possessor is certainly unlike anything else I’ve seen in awhile. Andrea Riseborough plays an elite corporate assassin who uses brain-implant technology to take control over other people’s bodies in order to kill high profile targets, though with every mission she gets further and further away from her true self. With her latest possession, she becomes trapped in the mind of a man who threatens to obliterate her for good. It is a provocative vision by director-writer Brandon Cronenberg, who just so happens to be the son of legendary Canadian filmmaker David Cronenberg, and it serves as a disturbing piece of dystopian fiction that is even more frightening because it isn’t too far beyond belief.

And because everyone else is doing it, here are five honorable mentions that narrowly missed the list:

- The Call

- Color Out of Space

- Don’t Listen

- The Mortuary Collection

- Porno

#1/ His House:

In addition to its emotional storytelling and genuine moments of terror, His House – from first-time director Remi Weekes – sheds a light on the plight of refugees in a way that feels both respectful and empathetic. After a Sudanese couple make a harrowing escape from their war-torn homeland, they are granted asylum in England, where they struggle to adjust and fit in. They are assigned a shabby house on the outskirts of London, where the couple begin to experience terrifying and unexplainable events. His House is built around a fresh concept, two fantastic leads, and some truly haunting imagery, and I wish that more horror directors would put as much effort into quality filmmaking as Weekes did here. If this is his first venture into feature filmmaking, I am excited to see what his future has in store. 

There you have it, my Top 10 favourite horror films of 2020. What did you think and were any of these titles on your own Top 10 list? Please tell me your thoughts and recommendations in the comments below.

[shinygoku]

Thunderbirds (2004)

A review by me, CutCat! This is 8-ish pages long!

Spoiler for the end of the film warning: Alan is in International Rescue. What a twist!

Totally Turbulent

Soooo, Tbirds ‘04 is one of those Infamous Adaptations, at least among those who enjoyed Thunderbirds (’65) and of more recent times, Thunderbirds are Go (’15). It’s one of those Bad Live Action Adaptations to a near sacred property, making it dubious contemporaries with Dragon Ball [Evolution], Avatar [The Last Airbender] and suchlike.

But wait, is it really That Bad?? Why is it as divisive as it is? What caused the film to be the way it is, and quite unpopular at that?

First I’m gonna make a long story very short by saying that a Live Action Thunderbirds movie was on and off production for many years, and that the script we ended up with is apparently better than another one that was pitched... but there are reports of cooler scripts further back that never made it, for various reasons. It’s almost a story of it’s own right but I’m only going by 2nd hand information at best, so I’d rather just link them at the end for Additional Reading if y’all felt so inclined.

With that out of the way, we have the Takes from the Andersons to look at. Sylvia had a very favourable reception to it:

"I felt that I'd been on a wonderful Thunderbirds adventure. You, the fans, will I'm sure, appreciate the sensitive adaptation and I'm personally thrilled that the production team have paid us the great compliment of bringing to life our original concept for the big screen. If we had made it ourselves (and we have had over 30 years to do it!) we could not have improved on this new version. It is a great tribute to the original creative team who inspired the movie all those years ago. It was a personal thrill for me to see my characters come to life on the big screen."

Whereas Gerry had a considerably blunter response at the opposite end of the scale:

"the biggest load of crap I have ever seen in my entire life."

As for me, a mere fan of predominantly the TAG series with limited but fond memories of the 90’s TOS reruns, I’d been inclined to ignore it and write it off as a DBE or TLA lost cause. But the combined effect of me deciding to check out unpopular media for myself, namely Dragon Ball GT and the live action Super Mario Bros. movie, and thoroughly enjoying both; and the other effect of TAG finishing but my fixation reawakening with the need to consume More, I dived deeper into the fan base than I had dared to before, in which I found more reasons to watch it and make up my own mind fairly.

Find out what I thought, and a review of the movie itself, below the Cut! ✂

Stormy Story

Ok, enough teasing, I see good things in the movie but not enough for it to be a secret masterpiece, not by a long shot.

1/3 Stars from Me. That’s Poor. (Compare with 2/3 being Good, and 3/3 being Excellent)

My main beef is unfortunately kinda the crux of the whole story, so while there were aspects I really liked, it had permanently set the bar low, and other issues were not helping matters. I’ll go into the problems after I sum up the plot.

[sitcom harp music]

14 Year Old Alan Tracy is stuck in a stuffy school with only his nerd friend to confide in. Something’s eating him up, and it’s jealousy over how his family are International Rescue, the secret rescue workers whole pilot the Thunderbirds, impossibly cool craft with capabilities vastly exceeding standard technology. Even when he’s allowed out of school and back to the Island, his envy and barely repressed resentment over not being a member himself causes him to go off and sulk and to try taking Thunderbird 1, the hypersonic jet plane, for a joyride.

His father and the leader of International Rescue, Jeff Tracy chews Alan out for almost compromising the need for the organisation to remain secret, lest their advanced technology falling into the wrong hands. Alas, said wrong hands are already working against IR: The Hood, a diabolical, cold blooded criminal with psychic powers and a grudge against Jeff. After successfully tracking the location of Tracy Island, he launches a missile towards Thunderbird 5, the Space Station where IR monitor potential disasters to prevent as much damage as possible, manned by John Tracy.

With TB5 crippled and John injured, Jeff and his other three older sons all scramble to the disaster zone via Thunderbird 3, the Rocket Ship. But with Tracy Island largely unmanned, The Hood moves in and aims to use the Thunderbirds to rob bank vaults while simultaneously smearing International Rescue’s good name. As the only Tracy brother left on Earth, it’s up to Alan and his 2 friends, Fermat and Tin-Tin, to foil the Hood and save his family, proving himself worthy in the process. He is also assisted by IR’s London Agent, Lady Penelope, and her driver/butler/lockpicker, Parker.

...

Ok, so that’s a summary you may read on the back of a DVD box, maybe it’s a bit long but whatever. Do you see what’s wrong with the story? The massive rift in the formula that should be within a template set by the hugely popular TV Series?

Critical Crux

For me, the main issue with the movie is that the Tracy family are thrown under a bus, or perhaps it’s more like being locked in a closet, in order for Alan to rise up and be The Hero. A show that was about each of them having different roles and personalities to the others, and the movie sees the best way to adapt the premise is to reduce 3 of them to cardboard cutouts who aren’t allowed to do or say anything meaningful, with the exception to this getting the dubious honour of getting a missile and exploding space station to the face.

I can’t clearly express how much this pisses me off! It’s downright insulting and baffling as well. They had pre established characters right there for the taking but go NO! Let’s make OCs to fill this newly created void instead and make the main Message of the film Friendship Teamwork.

Why does every child-skewed media hafta have the Friendship message? It’s a good one, sure, but nothing said in this film about it was fresh or original. Y’know what I see far, far less? Not just in Kid Flavoured Media, but all sorts? The importance of Brotherly Bonds between actual brothers!! I don’t subscribe to the massively misunderstood message version of ‘Blood is thicker than water’, but a story with the siblings actually pushed and stressed and coming out stronger at the end would have ruled!!

[For what it’s worth, the actual saying is “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”, i.e. the bonds you choose to forge are more important than happening to be born to certain people. This correct message is still compatible with literal siblings though!]

The other, somewhat lesser Large Issue with the movie is simply that we don’t see much in the way of Rescues with the titular Thunderbirds. We only get the tail end of the Oil Rig in Act 1, and then the ‘Birds are used predominantly to get to London and save 1 Monorail Car with TB4.

Watsonian Woes & Doylist Dilemma

When looking at Media, there’s 2 main angles to consider; Doylist and Watsonian. Doylist is the “real life / meta” angle, the structure of the story or interests of the author being in the plot, that kinda thing. Watsonian is the reason given within the story.

All stories have Watsonian and Doylist reasonings, the trick is to blend them in and not use a weedy Watsonian reason for something stupid happening.

Why bring this up? Because it’s still part of the Huge Problem I have with the film; the Doylist reason for all of IR being incapacitated so easily is so Alan can shine without fighting for focus in a large group. I don’t like it, but let’s go along with it for now.

Believe it or not, but I can accept that a Movie format isn’t going to be the same as an ongoing series. There’s way less time and you gotta hit certain beats. Ideally you also condense the essence of the show into the film while being more than just a long episode. They didn’t hit this note in my opinion...

But other than ‘It has to happen for he story to work’, there’s no damn reason for all the Non-Alan Tracys to be cooped up in the crippled TB5! They put all their eggs into one basket when a considerably more sensible choice woulda been to have a small crew, and the others remain on base. Because even without factoring in a worst case scenario where another missile hits them while in space, killing them all, which totally could have happened for all they know, there’s also the part about them being International Rescue! They gotta be ready to respond to other disasters should those develop. TB1, 2 and 4 were still available for use!

If I was Jeff making the boneheaded decision, I would have taken a second to think about it and have 1 of the Bros come up in 3 with me. Seeing to John shouldn’t be something 4 people are needed for, it would just get more crowded and the oxygen would be used way faster! Considering they all come close to asphyxiating, 2 less people would mean things weren’t so damn close to the wire! (Granted, the movie also has them falling into Earth’s atmosphere and burning up as a hazard, but the whole crew being there doesn’t affect that.)

Jeff! You’re the patriarch and supposedly most experienced dude in the whole movie! Why didja run into that trap with both eyes open? Stressful situation, sure, but in the Rescue Business you need to be able to listen to the cold, clinical angle. You’re risking more of your sons’ lives making such a rash judgement!!

Character Conundrums

This is the part of the review where I begin to really emphasise the differences between TOS and this movie. I’ll hold off TAG for now in the interest of fairness.

The movie is a mixed bag when it comes to the individuals within it. Some have been refreshing updates to stuffy 60′s tropes, but several draw the short straw, feeling even stiffer than their marionette precursors.

Alan - Hoo, boy. The plot follows Alan.... for the third time if you’re factoring in the Supermarionation movies, which was quite the baffling choice as Puppet!Alan is quite the obnoxious jerk. But whatever, new movie, new canon, new Alan. While the Alan of the 60′s was a bizarrely whiny brat of a character considering he was supposed to at least be in his early 20′s this Alan at least makes more sense to be annoying. But yes, he starts off as a sullen jerk with unclearly defined jealousy towards his own brothers and seemingly a lack of grasping the stakes behind International Rescue, viewing being one of the crew as a Cool Job rather than a gruelling, life-risking ordeal. Over the course of the movie (mostly Act 3) he becomes less of a berk and a better team player, even going as far as to save the Hood personally.

Jeff - One of the stronger characters in the movie, even with this poor choice I’ve gone on about already, haha. You get the real impression the job means the world to him, but still secondary to his sons. An update and improvement to the sometimes stodgy and holier-than-thou character from the 60′s, plus his proactive role makes him way less of a backseat driver.

Lady Penelope - Best character and a splendid update to the 60′s Socialite. This Penny is always a delight to see, although her ability to change clothes offscreen sometimes pushes plausibility, haha. She and Jeff also have very natural and endearing chemistry, so for this iteration at least, I’m up for shipping them, something I can’t say for TOS.

Parker - Remarkably true to the beloved puppet version and another highlight. His interplay with Penelope is some of the best dialogue in the whole movie, and was written by Richard Curtis in an uncredited role, or so I’ve read.

The Hood - A shockingly sadistic and cold blooded so-and-so. His Psychic powers have been given a huge boost, and the depths of his spite generates all the tense scenes the movie has to offer. His performance may be the best in the whole film, simultaneously over the top while also completely deadly.

Tin-Tin - Y’know, Tin-Tin is a funny character, in how she’s very different in all versions. I enjoy her in TOS, but her potential as an engineering assistant, mathematician and member of IR are quickly discarded to make her a secretary, which is further demoted to bringing coffee. Ahh, The Sixties! One of her other defining features was the sometimes bickering sexual tension with Alan. Movie!Tin-Tin is still the implied love interest [and the same age] with him, but she’s also an Action Girl extraordinaire, with abilities bordering on metahuman. She can trek through the jungle without slowing down, she can dive underwater for prolonged sequences, and has a variation of her Evil Uncle’s Psychic capabilities, but used for good. Notably, the Kayo of TAG takes significantly more from this Tin-Tin to the original, sadly sans Telekinesis.

Fermat - The only OC I’m gonna dignify with a section here lol. He’s basically mini-Brains, complete with the way he t-ta-tal- -distinctive speech patterns. But yeah, as the hypersmart and nerdy pal, I feel that his role is pretty superfluous, though his performance in the movie got me to soften up, he’s a good kid. Just one who, like, is part of the deal breaking issue I have with the whole film. In a way I think he’d have made a better lead than Alan lmao

Brains - Not much to say here, he’s also a dude in distress for a majority of his screentime. Seems to be older than his TOS self and a bit less subservient to Jeff, but also a father ....or Fermat is his clone. They never make that clear. He’s hit on by the Hood’s Female Scientist and it’s played for comedy, more on that later.

John - In TOS, his role was infamously minimal, as Gerry Anderson took such a strong disliking to the John puppet and the TB5 model that he exiled both into space with a few token shots per episode. So in comparison, this movie is far kinder to John! He has a nice, genuine chat with Jeff, without any mission to initiate said videocall. The movie is also quite mean to John in how he gets bombed by the Hood, his space station in tatters, his arm hurt and then near suffocation with Jeff and most of his brothers. Ahh, the conundrum of being John.

Scott, Virgil and Gordon - No, they don’t even get their own paragraphs in my review. Their lack of presence and importance in the movie is my giant gripe (have you noticed yet?) and it got to the extent that I feel they could have been combined into one character to save casting money. They get maybe 5 lines each, if that. I literally can’t tell Scott and Virgil apart (I know they have name tags on their uniforms, but in most scenes I couldn’t even read that) other than knowing 1 of them is taller. Which that one is, is a mystery.

The only one with a slightly distinctive appearance and air is Gordon, which is another can of worms because he seems to be the designated Doubtful Jerk Brother and that drives me mad!! In TOS he wasn’t as main a character as Scott, Virgil or Alan, but he was still a defined person with his own abilities. And his personality was as a slightly mouthy but the most lighthearted character! Why didn’t they carry that over?!

And yeah, Scott and Virgil are pretty much the Main Two of the brothers in TOS, so their roles being reduced to 1 token act during the oil rig rescue each [Gordon didn’t even get that!] is all the more mind boggling.

Hood’s Minions - Can’t be assed to write their names out, I refer to them as Heavy Dude and Science Woman. Heavy Dude is the Heavy, and his character consists of Dumb and somewhat Sadistic Muscle. Science Woman is first objectified (we see her ass first. Yes, really.) but then it’s ‘revealed’ that as she has Austin Powers level teeth, she’s uuuuuglyyyyy and her otherwise genuine attraction towards Brains is played for laughs with this angle. And that’s still female on male sexual harassment, which doesn’t fly with me. Eeeesh. Bad writing! She does Science Things for Hood.

The Rest - Kyrano and his wife are in this. Wife is Original but basically Grandma’s role, though she doesn’t even get a single word to say. Rip. Also the Hood has a few more generic mooks from somewhere, but seemingly only for part of the movie. Kyrano didn’t do much in the show except get bullied by the Hood and little has changed.

Tone Trouble

I feel like the movie has a bit of an issue with balancing a consistent Tone. Again, let’s look back at TOS. It was a Family Show, designed to not just appeal to little kids, but to also keep their parent and other adult amused. Maybe some of it was also the result of the times, but striking to me is that they allowed the characters to get pretty hurt, complete with red paint being applied to look like realistic blood. Some of the criminals, including the Hood himself, would be very vicious, how he treats Brains in Desperate Intruder comes to mind. There was even firefights resulting in death, like the memorable climax of Operation Crash-Dive, where Gordon has to shoot a saboteur in the back, into the open sea below the compromised plane. He then proceeds to hold the cut wires together with his bare hands. Don’t try this at home, kids!

So while I can understand some of that being removed from the Movie (and TAG), there’s still the irritating going down to a perceived kid’s level for the majority of the film, which is probably also a large reason for the massive structural change. But then, there’s shockingly dark implications here and there, and the haunting sight of the crew trapped on TB5 floating lifelessly in the dark, asphyxiating. But then, again, we have goofy choreographed fight scenes with juvenile stock cartoon sounds. And then, we have Hood force choking Alan?! It has been mostly consistent until Act 3, then the tone goes up and down more than the flying machines.

Revamped Rockets

I’m mostly talking about the main craft here, though I know the Pod vehicles got modified too, I’m not sufficiently a TOS Pod Buff to go over them.

TB1 - Looks real nice! Maintains and even enhances the sleekness, and the idea of a glass cockpit is much better than having 1 tiny window and a dinky TV screen to see by. Oddly dark inside the cockpit considering how much glass there is, though. Probably my fav of the Movie Fleet.

TB2 - Oof. Looks bad, man. Like, really ugly. What have they done to the glorious design that was the Original Big Green? The unofficial mascot from her importance and unorthodox style? They turned her into a stubby, too glossy, chunky bar of green soap. The thick ass legs are a good idea but it sure ain’t enough. Also, she carries 3 smaller pods insteada 1 big one.

TB3 - Like TB1, pretty much the same design but streamlined a little. Docks with 5 sidewise instead of like pen going into its lid.

TB4 - I’m mixed. I like the idea of giving her a glass canopy and extendable arms, but the movie’s version is so boxy she looks more like a small yellow Greenhouse with the rear half of the old Four, haha. The arms also look a little stiff, can they bend? Now, if there was a sleek, glass hulled, variable armed, demolition charges-loaded Four, that would be my favourite possible version ;3 Four is my fav craft in TOS and TAG, for what it’s worth.

TB5 - I say it’s quite a visual improvement over TOS and the odds and ends jumbled look that had, though I do appreciate a bit of Chunkiness. This one really needs to have better defence too, TOS 5 may’ve been able to tank that missile lmao

FAB1 - I know that she would have been a Rolls Royce in the film, but BMW said no, so that’s not a point against the movie. And failing the classic image, it’s cute that it’s a Ford Thunderbird, though I’d have preferred one with those 50′s/60′s stylish fins personally lol. Her ability to fly is new here unless you count the Dream Sequence in Are Go (’66) and the water mode was also seen in that before this, and she gets the job done, though we don’t get to see as many gadgets and gizmos in the course of the film.

Unlikely Uniforms

I really don’t understand these. Why are they off white with minimal accent colours? What was wrong with the blueness of their suits and the broad stripe of a secondary colour? I sure ain’t saying the 60’s costumes were practical or even that fashionable, but they were very distinctive and striking!

Not only that, but for some strange unexplained reason, their uniforms all correspond not to their own speciality, but to which craft they’re currently piloting. Even if they’re all in the same Bird...! So like, four out of five are wearing identical looking red accented suits while locked in TB5. I already find the elder brothers to be the Similar Squad, and their microscopic name tags don’t help!

Why don’t they wear their own coloured uniforms all the time? Then ya don’t need the name tag at all! And the silly implication from the way there’s apparently a whole set of Craft Specific uniforms is that there’s piles of clothes that ain’t getting used in all of them, like the tiny TB4 probably having 6 whole sets on board at the end of the film.

Between that, no blue and the outfits looking like Generic Sports Wear, the only nice thing to say is the THUNDERBIRDS down the sleeve is a cool touch. Which should really say International Rescue or IR...

Mingled Misc.

Yeah, The conflation of Thunderbirds and International Rescue is a tad irritating but it’s actually something I can overlook. It’s not a dealbreaker and it makes sense the Dumbass Public would misunderstand and call them the wrong thing.

Jeff refuses Alan early access into IR and cites “No shortcuts”. Then at the end he echoes this when he is making Alan an official member, saying he did it with no shortcuts. The whole faffing scenario was a giant shortcut!!! Fuck training and being a suitable age, am I right?!

Amazingly I didn’t cover this already, but when Alan shortcuts his way onto the team he’s made pilot of ... TB4. That’s why he’s in yellow accents in the pic. Gordon is seemingly the main pilot of TB3 instead, but the movie doesn’t deign to make that clear. While I appreciate that the 14 year old with no Astronaut training isn’t put in charge of 3 instantly, I resent the careless removal of characterisation. Obviously movie Gordon never served with WASP or won the gold medal in swimming or had a massive hydrofoil crash to nearly kill him but ggggghgggaaahhhhhhhhh

Also what’s with the implication that Four is the Babby’s First Machine? She’s a highly specialised craft that would require different training to flying or Space shit! How dare you?! The most charitable link is that Alan stood around in 4 as Tin-Tin did most of the work herself, but I guess it coulda as some level of experience.

Ford Sponsorship - Gets a bit much! It’s one thing for all the cars to be Ford, but them seemingly owning the News is like an unpleasant look into a world where corporations run everything.... hahahaahaaaaaa........

Marvellous Music

Something the movie really excells at is the tunes! The remix of the Thunderbirds March is good in it’s own right and very welcome, and the new music is all solid. Special mention to Busted’s outro song for slapping so hard even people who hate the movie leave warm youtube comments about the song. I have a habit of listening to it set to TAG footage myself, haha

Sincere Summation

Look, I’ve come off negative in this, but I honestly have a lot of respect for a lot of the parts of this picture. Hood, Penelope, Parker and Jeff are fantastic, the physical models and sets have a lot of care and loving detail poured in, the music is all bangers and other little nods and homages to the show shine brightly. The director got a lot of good work in and I hold him no ill will.

I think the problem is in the Writing and probably Studio Mandates, I’m not 100% sure, but things often get snaggy when the studio you’re working under gets bought out by a bigger company partway through. Again, I’ll refer to the info I’ve seen instead of trying to relay it in my own words.

And they made a real bad call snubbing Gerry as a Creative Consultant. Some of his venom towards the film may be from that, as well as his alleged preference to Team America: World Police as a theatrical homage. And I’ve seen that before and wouldn’t really say that’s true to the spirit of Thunderbirds, but yeah...

I’d be interested in any future Thunderbirds Movies, if that’s ever on the cards again. I’d probably be even more up for continuation of the TAG series, or newer new Captain Scarlet with International Rescue involved. Either way, I want new footage of the Birds taking off again, be it puppet, people, CGI, or something new~

Extra Reading

https://securityhazard.net/2017/05/19/thunderbirds-2004/ Full movie review, warm reception. Contains photos of set pieces and costumes.

http://groovyfokker.blogspot.com/2013/02/thunderbirds-arent-go-unfilmed-versions.html Insight into some of the past issues developing a Movie, but gets some basic information wrong (Since when is Gordon the youngest and TB3 orange??)

Thanks if ya’ve been reading the whole thing! <3

[scare-theory]

me again <3! i have a few requests cuz i thought u might like 2 choose, yanno make it funsies<3!

the halloween movies r gr8, i’d love 2 see ur review of them !!

(joker 2019 is an honorable mention)

bbc’s dracula (on netflix) is fun, a bit lengthy but *chefs kiss*

thanks again love ! its totally up to you & i cnt wait 2 see more content ! stay rad

- 🐀

This is awesome! I so appreciate it! I’m going to start with the Halloween movies, but if you want future reviews of more of these movies, please just ask! 

I haven’t seen every single one of them (the sequels I have seen run together in my mind, so please forgive me for that) but I do enjoy this franchise a lot. I’m not necessarily a die hard fan of this series specifically, but I love horror and appreciate what these movies did for it. If you want me to discuss one of these movies in particular, let me know. There’s a lot to this series. 

So here are a few scattered takes on it. 

The first Halloween was one of the first horror movies I saw, so it certainly has its spot in my heart. More importantly though, I relate to very few fictional characters as much as I relate to Laurie Strode. She means a lot to me, especially in the first one, so that also puts it ahead for me. This movie is also one that I, full disclosure, laugh at when I’m not supposed to. I enjoy that aspect all the more. 

It also (along with Black Christmas) established one of my favorite horror tropes: the killer POV shot being used to conceal their identity. We often seem to forget that there is no way to know that Michael is a child when he kills his sister in the cold open, and the reveal was truly genius and chilling. 

However, I must admit: As a die hard The Thing fan, I am sometimes annoyed by people who pretend that this was John Carpenter’s best work. It’s great, it’s important and it’s fun, but it’s not his best. 

I don’t care what others say, Halloween 3 is a treasure. Yes, it doesn’t have Michael in it, but that’s FINE! The original idea for the series was to make an anthology around the holiday, and Michael only got more attention because he was more popular than expected! It’s stupid to write this movie off because it doesn’t have Michael, especially when there’s so much absurdity to have fun with. 

The plot is nuts, the performances are zany but somehow work, and the theme tune will not leave you alone for days. If you’re the kind of person who likes something like Killer Klowns, this movie will give you that exact same type of enjoyment. People get scared off from this movie because it doesn’t have Michael, which is completely ludacris. If you haven’t, watch this movie with some friends and some popcorn. It’s dumb fun. 

I also kinda like Halloween Resurrection. It’s a fun concept at the end of the day, even if it is campy and restricted by the elements of its time. Yes, Busta Rhymes did make me want to throw a chair at my screen because he needed to shut up. No, that didn’t undermine my enjoyment of the movie too much. To me, it stands out more than a lot of the other sequels, and that absolutely counts for something in my book. 

Ah yes, the gory elephant in the room: Rob Zombie. I’m not a Rob Zombie fan really at all, so it should be no surprise that his Halloween movies are not my thing. I don’t mind gore and vulgarity (this is a horror blog, I hope you weren’t expecting someone hypersensitive to that) but I like it to have a purpose, or at least make sense in the context. Serving the plot, or making us feel bad for the protagonist, or even simply being the MO of the killer opposing our protagonists. Most of the Saw films do this pretty well. Zombie always seems to employ graphic kills, sexual assault (probably my biggest issue with him) and vulgarity just because he can. I like his music, but his movies (Halloween remakes included) do not appeal to me. 

Halloween 2018 is actually one of my favorites in the series. I LOVE Laurie in this movie, and her role is one of the most unique takes I’ve seen on a slasher protagonist. Her relationship with her family is a huge strength of the movie, and it is another wonderful example of the protagonist centric horror movement of recent years. It’s also the one I found the most suspenseful, and the one that truly delivered on the scares. The teeth scene is one of the most effective simple scares in recent memory. 

Though it’s not a personal favorite, I respect the hell out of the Halloween series, and really enjoy the films. 

Thank you for the ask! Like I said, if you’re curious on the other ones, let me know!

[queenkeeleyhawes]

REPOST: queenkeeleyhawes’s official ranking of keeley’s male character counterparts

**reposting because i added theo (i forgot him the first time), added martin (mutual friends) because i recently watched it. removed david from top tier after i revisited some things. moved sven to top tier because it’s what he deserves. and moved gene hunt lower because let’s be honest, he’s the worst.**

this list includes: husbands, boyfriends, bosses, and other male coworkers. there is some of her work that i left off because her part was too small. i started this list originally at 5 am a couple of weeks ago. these are my personal opinions. please don’t come for me. most are pretty self-explanatory too but i did list reasons anyway. if you happen to disagree with me, that’s fine, but i’m pretty set in my ways so even if we have a nice conversation, you’re unlikely to change my mind. ** SEMI(?) SPOILERS AHEAD**

Top Tier 

Spiros - hello he literally did everything for her and her family. took such good care of them from day one. literally found them a house when they got on the island. and furniture. and a maid. he got her ring back when she sold it to bribe those thugs in series 1. attempted to tutor gerry when she couldn’t find anyone else. held her when she needed a good cry after hugh nearly died and after florence could have died delivering her baby. watched her children while she went back home briefly. built gerry his zoo. the list goes on and on.

Caspar -  saw her for who she was. was impressed by her mind. “you’re beautiful as well as good. one of those things i can't change. the other i never will.” that is all. 

Fabian - *crying emojis* he literally cared so much for her. always wanted to be with her. literally put her aunt into a home and paid for it when it was not cheap. pretty much disowned his eldest daughter for her. after everything still adored her.

Samuel P. - hoo boy it’s a lot. clearly they made a connection. but he respected her and her marriage to not pursue it further when she put an end to it. was so happy for her when she found her son.

Jarvis - he just loved her so much. the lil hotel kissing scene. the way they looked at each other. ugh. we’re not even going to talk about them singing together in rehearsal. i don’t have it in me.

Dick Dewey - i mean hello. good on the eyes. sweetheart. loved her so much. the hand washing scene. the lake scene. saved her father from the bear trap and let some other dude take the credit.  made all the boys apologize to her via song after they humiliated her in church. 

Danny - let her move in with him when he saw how terrible her living arrangements were. so much more. i really wanted them to end up together.

Theo  - obviously, he belongs in Top Tier because he was always just absolutely wonderful to louisa and to gerry (duh) and he always gave her the best advice. like I truly believe they were best friends and though he didn’t include himself, he was definitely part of the “men she loved the most on the island.” also he’s an “honorary woman.” the end.

Sven - literally saved her son from dying. brought her nets for her olives. let gerry borrow a goat. eventually i liked them together and i think they could have worked...but...you know.

Good Tier

Harry - cool dad. loved their relationship. he took care of her.

Tom - they were very good friends and he treated her so well. he genuinely cared for her as an employee. obviously the real chemistry was there but i'm honestly glad they didn’t go in that direction.

Ray - listen i know he’s an ass but he’s the ass that you actually love. and she changed him for the better. i loved the dynamic between him and alex and as they grew as friends. plus dean and keeley just played off each other so nicely.

Daniel - she just wanted him to call about that damn flat but he finally had his little break through by the end so he can stay and obviously matthew and keeley working together is *heart eyes.*

Richard Shaw - he had his issues but he really did love kathleen and even though he was basically in denial about their son and did some things she didn’t like...he was a good man who took care of her.

David - i mean it was literally his job to save her and he did try (we’re not gonna talk about the end of episode 3). i believe he really put her at ease and was making her change her opinions and views on so many things. but there were issues...we can’t deny that.

Mr Morley - we didn’t see them interact much...but he’s fine.

Chris - he’s fine as co-workers go. i think he definitely respected alex eventually but he wasn’t my favorite.

Will (MI-5) - he was fine. a little boring but fine and he literally was not even cute. really zoe??? he did love her. and she did end up having a good life with him.

Bad Tier

Martin Grantham - almost cheated on his wife for revenge. told her potential boss she had mental health problems just to keep her from getting the job. believed a rumor that she had hired a solicitor so he hired one out of spite. umm the bar scene with their son. everything he did with peter. enough said.

Rob Graham - he almost cheated on his wife. he was in slight denial about their son. didn’t want to get a dog. loved her and he clearly fought to stay with her. a few points for that.

Joe M*cb*th - was just kinda there? not horrible but not great.

Steve A - do i really even need to explain? he’s just so infuriating. you’re probably wondering why he’s not lower on this list...but...well just wait until you see the rest.

Mr Royal - he just generally sucks and also he ruined her dessert in that one lil scene and was just horrible. and he fucking slapped her, knocking her to the ground???? no sir.

Peter - the jealousy i mean come on and he terrorized her. nearly killed her best friend. not to mention i’m about 99.8% sure he stole her cat.

Hugh - ugh he was with her to make vasillia jealous. i don’t care what he tried to say. and i hate that he called her angel when that’s what her husband called her. also i think she just liked the idea of them and then realized how quickly it wasn’t going to work out, especially when he wanted her to go back to england when they hadn’t even been there that long and clearly corfu made her happy?!?!? purposefully hurt spiros.

Miles Mollison - it literally took him hearing his mother calling his wife a failure for him to grow a spine?!?!? and dude your wife looked like that *long sigh*

Trash Tier 

Billy - how many times did she have to ask him about getting a job. the jealousy. he didn’t do anything???? he took care of jake so he gets points for that. but he made her feel like crap for it so….bye. and he told tina even though angela didn’t want to tell anyone.

Michael - literally tried to murder her.

Othello - actually murdered her.

Dennis Hamilton  - crazy, jealous. possessive. made her get an abortion. spent all of her money. just gross.

Alec Wilson - hello he literally had another wife and two other children that she knew of. and he only gave her 5 measly fucking pounds….rude. 

Terry Leather - had an affair with another woman. kinda redeemed himself in the end but not really. 

Hallam - literally had an affair with her sister. forced her to take in lotte when she was terrified she’d lose their baby. was trash to his little sister after making a big deal about getting her out of the asylum. was horrible to blanche. was fine (?) with the staff but not really?? 

Sam Webster - had an affair. got another woman pregnant when that’s something his wife wanted again. literally never believed her about anything. blamed her for alice’s death and then later tried to tell her not to blame herself when she was depressed. horrible to their son. just an all around shitty person.

Roger - jealous of j’s power. racist remark about david. tells her something she specifically said she doesn’t care to hear. and let’s be honest he was probably bopping some blonde 20 year old.

Dryden - wouldn’t leave his wife. forced her to get an abortion. literally picked up a 15 year old at some gathering for a bj. gross gross gross.

Gene - grade A asshole. i literally do not understand why people love them together??? he was the one who saved her as a child??? but then almost hooked up with her in the afterlife??? creepy. no matter how many times i re-watch, i cannot find any redeeming qualities in him or any reason why they should be together. also he was a sexist, homophobic, RACIST pig. i don't care it was the 80s...gross. this one you definitely will not be able to fight me on.

[razoraqua]

Ruby’s Symbiote History(Scatter-Spider AU)

One of the winners of a poll I did an RWBY Amino for what AU I made to share more information and the winners was the Symbiote of the Scatter-Spider AU, anyway let’s go over the timeline of this UA’s Venom Symbiote but first let’s clear up a few things.

Origin and Home-world

So, if you watched a lot of videos talking about the origins of the Symbiote that would later bond to Spider-Man and later Eddie Brock to become Venom you’ll know that it’s origin has been retconned a good chunk of times. From a Kree Solider being the first host of the Symbiote, using it only as a tool, Deadpool being the cause of its insanity to it being a part of peaceful race known as the Klyntar before being retconned to them being evil because of they were created by an Evil God. So what’s this AU’s Symbiote’s origin and homeland.

Easy.

This version of the Symbiote is a part of the peaceful Klyntar who want to be a noble warrior of the cosmos but if they get a bad and cruel host then they’ll become corrupted by their personality and get their personality traits from their time bonding with them. This way Ruby unknowingly makes the Symbiote split into two different being that represents two side of her personality, in a way. Now let’s get into the timeline.

The Arrival

The Symbiote arrives to Earth, more specifically Vale of Remnant, via meteor in a meteor shower and landing in Vale Park where a certain Red Spider is helping out. Ruby, as Scatter-Spider, is taking care of a few thugs who were trying to rob a family of their money, she takes care of them with ease (Spider powers remember) and the Symbiote has a front row seat to this display of agility and power. After webbing up the baddies, making sure the family was safe, Ruby web-swings away to come patrolling the city of any crimes and doesn’t know the Symbiote got on her shoe.

Seeing that it might be a slow night, Ruby decided to practice her parkour and free running skills in the area she was in and during that time the Symbiote started to bond with Ruby, cover her and become her new suit. This is when Ruby still has her Street Suit.

After sticking a landing to finish off her practice (perfectly matching the time the Symbiote completely makes itself Ruby’s new suit) Ruby finally notices her new suit, since she did the last portions of her training with her eyes closed to better hone in her Spider Sense. It definitely freaked her out about this new suit on her that appeared out of nowhere but before she could examine it a loud noise that caught her attention and being the helpful person she is she swings off to help.

Turns out it was a car chase with the fleeting car causing problems for the police and bystanders. Ruby quickly dove in to stop them and that’s where the Symbiote started to show what it can do to help her be a better crime fighter. When Ruby stuck her hand out to shoot out webbing at one of the back tires to stop the car what came out was a symbiote tendril that grabbed the tire she was aiming for and she quickly pulled back to take out the tire despite her surprise. The Symbiote continued to show how useful it is to Ruby by enhancing her abilities and she took out the car and criminals a lot faster than she normally does.

Making sure everything was handled by the police, Ruby went to a nearby rooftop to have a better look at her new suit and its abilities. While looking at the suit she really liked the new spider symbol she got, moving onto its abilities, she did this by doing a few kicks and punches that were followed by/ended with a tendril coming out and finally she tested its shape shifting abilities. The Symbiote made sure to please Ruby with its abilities so that it can have a host, please and keep the host alive and get a nice home.

Time with the First Love

(About this title: Yes, the Symbiote does refer Ruby as its “First Love” because she was its first ever host and it enjoyed the time it spent with her. Similar to the comics and a bit of Spectacular Spider-Man, kinda the main reason it bond with Brock to become Venom, prove Spidey is nothing without it. Moving on.)

Ruby’s time with the Symbiote starts off like any other Spiders’ first time bonding with the Symbiote: it feels great! The new sense of confidence it gave her was amazing and she definitely has A LOT of confidence in this time because her getting her powers already gave her a confidence boost, so this is kinda of her react the edge of overconfident and argent. Luckily that happens very rarely and her sense of helping others fat outweighs her pride but since the Symbiote also enhances her emotions, it causes her to become a bit more flirty with Black Cat (Felicia Hardy) even though Ruby is already in a relationship with Weiss at this point and Ruby is really loyal to Weiss so she doesn’t flirt back. Unfortunately, the Symbiote increased Ruby’s attraction to Black Bat to actually ask her out on a Date Night of patrolling Vale and flirting on her like Neptune but it actually works and she keeps her attention on her throughout the night.

Luckily, Ruby spends more time with Weiss so their time together outweighs the flirting with Black Cat and makes their make out sessions a little heated. The times Ruby becomes are rare and only happens when a civilian is put in extreme danger, someone messes with the people closest to Ruby and anyone who thinks they’re a hero and are abusing their authority (corrupted officers and a specific White Fang Member, more in him soon). Due to theses rare moments of anger and the fact they happen because Ruby wants to protect someone this slowly causes the Symbiote to split into two different personalities that represent a part of Ruby herself. The Venom and Heroic sides. We’ll discuss those two soon. Since these two didn’t show up until Ruby’s final exchange with the Symbiote before getting rid of it and it finding a new host. Let’s move on to the events that led to this exchange.

The Spider Shows her Venom

(Alt Title: Adam’s Biggest Mistake!)

Ruby is using her free day to its full potential, patrolling the city of Vale and taking down purse snatchers in front of electronic stores. No really she is and that’s how she learns about the attack on Signal High. Rushing over and arriving at the school she sees there’s several police officers, police vehicles and people, students, teachers and civilians, all over the area. Spotting a big hole, probably made by an explosion, she swings over there and rushes in to to stop the White Fang. She meets up with Zwei, who leads her to where Weiss, Blake and Yang are, along the way in between fighting White Fang members she sees several dead bodies, both human and Faunus, it doesn’t surprise Ruby to see dead Faunus in this attack because they have done this before in the past, killing anyone who gets in their way. What really catches her off guard was the fact that there was also several White Fang members as well and they all shared similar injuries that the civilians had as well: sword slashes and stabs. The sign of Adam.

From the times Blake shared her past with Adam in the White Fang to Ruby and their friends, her interaction with the White Fang members who surrendered will to her and her fights with Adam she knew he was starting to lose patience with anyone who disagrees with his plans and methods. When Ruby finally found Weiss, Blake and Yang the sight that greeted her stop her in her tracks.

There they were Weiss, Blake and Yang surrounded by the reminding White Fang members, each of them battered and bruised with Adam standing over them, his sword drawn, over his head and the red of his clothing, mask and sword starting to glow.

Acting fast, Ruby web-zipped to Adam while pulling him towards herself and kicked him with both feet into him causing a cracking sound to be heard and he crashed through a wall of the room they were in. Using her tendrils to use two White Fang members as make shift humanoid wrecking balls against the other members and her other Symbiote abilities she was able to knockout the rest of the White Fang members in a few minutes.

Using her webbing to the stop the bleeding of their wounds until help arrived, she checked where Adam was to see he was gone, Ruby left a fist mark in the ground next to herself, she told Zwei to wait with them and she lefted to meet them at the hospital out of costume.

After making sure they were going to be alright, Jaune unknowingly giving her the excuse of needing some air to clear her head, she changes into her suit and heads off to find Adam. No matter what.

Going to a few warehouses at the docks provided to be a great idea when she found several White Fang members hiding out in there. With no patience for when Adam might show up or if they get contacted by him, Ruby decided to just give them a beat down until only one was left and interrogate them on Adam’s whereabouts. She did have a run in with the White Fang Lt. with her Symbiote abilities, her actions being fueled by rage and being rougher with her foes, she was able to take him with relative ease. With one White Fang member left, she tried to intimidate him into giving her the location of Adam but he was too loyal and blinded by Adam’s so called heroic cause.

She decided to give the loyal White Fang member what she thought about his so called “Heroic” leader. It was a little definitely a heated argument but in slowly turn to Ruby’s favor as she began to not hold back on her words and using her Symbiote abilities to keep him quiet for her words to get to him. She decided to get the information she was looking for by using an ability the Symbiote recently learned and wanted to test it on the White Fang member. Luckily for him the memory of Adam’s location was fairly recent enough for Ruby not to go further back in his memories and cause him more pain because of this new ability.

After getting the information from the White Fang member, who she tossed aside, she confronted Adam at his hidden location and instead of beating him like she did with the White Fang Lt. she decided to toy with him like how he did to Weiss, Blake and Yang. With his mutant powers that are similar to his Semblance from the show with the added bonus of using the energy to heal himself, Ruby decided that to her advantage. Using the resources around her, her high evasion skills and well placed hits to his sword to prevent her from injuring herself, she made sure he had enough energy to heal whatever injuries she gave him and continue their little “fights”.

Ruby decided to finish this “fight” between them by calling out Adam on his so called heroic acts like she did with the loyal White Fang member before and she hit him with moves that would look similar to a move Weiss, Blake Yang do with their respective weapons but in a physical form. A powerful punch like Yang’s from the Yellow Trailer (with the fist slam before it), a karate chop similar to a sword slash like Blake with her sword, a hand strike akin to a rapier trust like Weiss and a kick move similar to a move done with Crescent Rose. Badly beaten, Ruby had the perfect chance to end Adam right then and there but seeing her reflection in some shattered glass she started to remember why she became a hero and the words her late Uncle lived by as a Police Officer: I only take a life if there’s no other way.

Looking at the state she put Adam in, she knew he wasn’t a threat at the moment and with how bad his injuries were the police could easily take him in, so she started to walk away despite what the Symbiote was telling to do instead. She briefly stopped to give Adam warning for when he was going for his sword:

“Use that sword and loss a limb.”

Unfortunately, Adam couldn’t resist the chance to end Scatter-Spider completely forgetting about her Spider Sense and the fact she was still angry. In one quick moment, Adam had a broken arm that held his sword and Ruby was walking way with a new sword as a trophy.

The Breakup

(I know, I know.)

Ruby decided to go somewhere to clear her head and think about what she almost did. A nearby church seemed like a good place to think, it quiet, abandoned and she had it all to herself. This is where Ruby began her first and at the time last talk with her Symbiote. What Ruby didn’t know what that she was having a conversation with the two personalities she helped create for the Symbiote: the Venom and the Heroic side.

The conversation started with the Venom side saying that they could use Adam as an example to show Vale, show Remnant, what happens when criminals pull a similar stunt like he did and show everyone that this Spider (Ruby) is more than quips and laughs. They’ll show people their Venom!

The Heroic follows up with the idea that if they do this then they are keeping the people closest to Ruby safe and making sure nothing bad happens to them again.

Ruby rejects those ideas and tries to get the Symbiote off of her. During her struggles with the Symbiote she stumbles into the church bell causing the Symbiote to feel pain and give her the opportunity to get rid of it and turn back to her Street Suit. While catching her breathing, she gets a call from Jaune saying that Blake was missing from the hospital, wanting find her quickly Ruby swings over to where she thinks Blake might be heading. Leaving behind a sword and a rejected, hurt and angry Symbiote.

Here’s an image of Ruby finding Blake but the actual scene is different from this one. Mostly Ruby’s costume and that Blake (and WY) don’t know Ruby is Scatter-Spider yet. Ruby was wearing a tank top, her gloves and the bottom half of her first costume.

The Host that shows Venom

Banesaw/White Fang Lt becomes the Venom is this AU. The Venom side of the Symbiote takes over from here in terms of communication between host and Symbiote but it doesn’t share the memories of Ruby with him just her abilities since it wants to prove her that she needs the Symbiote.

Ruby’s fights with Venom alternate between fighting the host using the Symbiote and the Symbiote using the unconscious body of the Lt to continue fighting with Ruby and taunt her into letting it come back to her.

Fan to Agent

So in this AU Jaune has a similar role as Flash Thompson but more a line with him being a fan of Scatter-Spider (Ruby), he later becomes her eye in the sky after she told him her secret identity and became Agent Venom when they both got captured by the Remnant division of Sheild, run by Ozpin. Surprise, surprise.

When they were trying to escape, they ran into Venom, who tried to eat Jaune whole but unknowingly gave the Heroic side a chance to break with a new host and become a hero. Jaune jumped away from Venom with a new Symbiote on him giving a look similar to the Black Suit Spidey wears in the comics before Ruby tosses him some Shield body armor and giving the Venomized-ish look of his armor from the show.

Together they put Venom back into his cell, continue to fight for their escape and they free fall to freedom. Jaune uses the Symbiote’s shape shifting abilities to wing suit wings to help ease the trip back down to Vale.

Ruby was on edge about the Symbiote joining them but she decided to give it a chance and she helped train Jaune to use the Symbiote’s abilities.

Reluctant Reunion

Ruby would bond with the Heroic side of the Symbiote a few times here and there. Wether the situation needed Ruby’s on the spot combat creativity or Jaune was unavailable. The same thing as well for the Venom side as well, she would bond with it in desperate situations and if the situation required her to be extra angry.

...

And that’s about it for now, I guess. This was kinda written during some late nights but most of it was written during the day. Be free to ask me questions about anything.

Thoughts, ideas and anything else to add will be appreciated! Just try to think from a different perspective once in a while! See ya!

[retrauxpunk]

Rain, I ask you: ALL the quarantine asks!

Animated character that was your gay awakening? not really an ‘awakening’ so much as a ‘hint’, but Azula from Avatar: the Last Airbender ... yep

Grilled cheese or PB&J? GRILLED CHEESE

What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on? I don’t really experience this mood, but my go-to watch is the vlogbrothers YouTube channel

Your go-to bar order, if you drink? if it’s a low-key/work outing, lager or cider (esp the ones with non-apple fruits too); if it’s getting more serious (lol) or with closer friends or a more celebratory mood: vodka with sparkling apple juice

What’s your favorite pair of shoes that you own? these Doc Martens that are white with red hearts got ’em with my first ever full time design job paycheck. i did not take care of them well so they’re super scuffed/beat-up and very much not Perfectly White ... but they’re still comfy as heck, i still love the design, and they’ve lasted 3 years so far, let’s see how much longer we can make it ... also i think they’re a limited edition so i likely won’t get my hands on any replacements...

Top three cuisines? my cheap-ass answer would be, like: East Asian, South-East Asian, Western European ... but my non-shit answer is... Japanese, Chinese, Italian (ftr i’m not a seafood fan ... i just love the ramen and non-seafood stuff that japan makes hehe)

What was your first word as a child (that wasn’t a variation of “Mom” or “Dad”)? i have no clue

What’s a job that you’ve had that people might be surprised to find out you’ve had? cold-calling strangers to ask them to do market research phone surveys (y)

Look up. What’s directly across from you? the kitchen

Do you own any signed books/memorabilia in general? i have a messenger bag that i got signed by Jeph Jacques of the Questionable Content webcomic that i once adored ... and I think my boyfriend has gifted me a signed Matthew Reilly hardcover.

Preferred way to spend a rainy day? curled up indoors wearing something cosy, reading and eating something delicious. playing animal crossing lol. aaaaand listening to music, a good podcast, watching stand-up comedy, drawing, getting intoxicated...

What do you get on your bagels? What WOULD you get if you had access to anything you wanted? occasionally the standard smoked salmon and cream cheese, but i slightly prefer the meat to be, like, prosciutto

Brunch or midnight snacks? ehh fuck it, both???? both!!

Favorite mug you own easter limited edition waitrose mug, squat and round and yellow, painted/shaped like a very round chick. a Borb,,,,

What coffee drink would you describe yourself as? i actually thought about this and, uh, peppermint mocha. not for everyone, slightly weird, never fitting in with the regulars/being a default, but???? obviously awesome?? also: about 65% on the mainstream/hipster scale

Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!) The Wombats is the artist. lyrics are either “Let's dance to Joy Division / and celebrate the irony / Everything is going wrong, / but we're so happy” from Let’s Dance to Joy Division or “the edge of nowhere’s such a beautiful place” from Emoticons

Fruity or herbal teas? herbal but i agree with @queenofslime, black tea is the best

What’s that one TV show that you’re a little bit embarrassed to watch but you still like nonetheless? ...do i experience embarrassment about what i like to watch on TV? i don’t know if i do, because i watch relatively few shows ... and have relatively little shame? maybe???

That book you were forced to read for class but actually ended up enjoying? ftr i wasn’t bitter about this before reading, i had no preconceived biases against, and i was pretty open to liking it -- The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri

Do you match your socks? if they’re of a really nice design then yes always, if they’re of a more standard/generic design then ... not necessarily

Have you ever been horseback riding? yes a few times ... on the last time which was like five years ago ... the lady said i was a natural and asked if i’d ridden much before, which was. flattering. and yes this is a Brag.

What was your “phase” when you were younger? (i.e., Mythology Nerd, Horse Girl, Space Geek, etc) didn’t have much of a hardcore phase but i was pretty much always into fantasy ... oh wait yeah i did! i had a spy phase :)

Have you ever been to jail? to closed-down ones, yep

What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)? pretty great idea unequivocably, right?

Puzzles? i tend to enjoy riddles/lateral thinking puzzles, i am impartial about jigsaw puzzles. i enjoy escape rooms.

You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it? apple ... but elderflower if i’m feeling reckless (y)

What section do you immediately head for when you walk into a bookstore? young adult ... or stationery

What’s one thing you’re trying to learn/relearn in your downtime right now? Russian language :( it’s going не так хорошо

Who’s your go-to musical artist when you’re feeling upbeat? not sure if i have a go-to artist so much as go-to playlists i’ve made but some good ones are The Wombats and Bastille 

Where could someone find you in a museum? mammals/birds in natural history

What’s that one outfit in your closet you never get the chance to wear but want to? i swear i was talking about this recently but i clean the fuck forgot what it was ... oh yeah, i have this short-sleeved black minidress festooned with silver buckles/buttons and also featuring decorative suspenders ... which, yes, does make me look like a sexy military officer,,, anyway it’s pretty badass and somehow it hasn’t occurred to me till now that i can just wear that every day now if i want? ftw i do get the chance to wear it, it’s just a little bit Extra so i get self-conscious. i’ve worn it a few times though. including to work. because fuck it, right? i didn’t become a graphic designer to be shy about sometimes looking like a prototypical emo/scene kid-turned-adult??? (ftr i was never an actual emo/scene kid. i lacked the requisite guts, commitment of feeling, and permissive parents.)

Rainbows, stars, or sunset colored clouds? sunset-coloured clouds :)

If you could own any non-traditional pet (dogs, cats, fish, rodents, etc), what would it be? how about a shapeshifting feathered dragon that could range from, like, two thirds of a foot long (20cm) to sit on your shoulder, to ... the size of a massive draft horse? (but longer and thinner)

Do you have more art on your walls or more photographs? photos, though if i didn’t live with a partner, it might be art

You have to get one meme tattooed on your body, what meme is it and where does it go? i’ve already got a meme tattooed on my body ... a private meme i have with my boyfriend, one on each leg (left: outer side, just above knee; right: outside, a few inches above the ankle)

Pick a superhero sidekick to hang out with ?????? is this a sidekick to a known superhero, or a superhero to act as your sidekick? also i don’t know? who are the standard heroes? i’m not up to date on this.

Lakes, rivers, or oceans? rivers or oceans

Favorite mid-2000s song i can’t decide a favourite, it’s too stressful, but one that i like is Rob Thomas’s Little Wonders

How do you dress when you’re home alone? either a t-shirt and PJ pants, or a dress (usually short-sleeved/sleeveless minidress)

Where do you sit in the living room (we all have a preferred spot, and you know it)? on either side of the couch haha

Knives or swords? BOTH but ok swords.

A song you didn’t think you’d enjoy but ended up loving hmmmmm like all of Linkin Park’s first three albums with some exceptions? hahahah

Pick an old-school Disney Channel Original Movie i don’t think i.....know any????

Are you a “Quote that relates to the photos” caption-er, an “explanation of where I took the photos” caption-er, or a no caption kinda person when you post pictures online? explanation, though on instagram quite often the photo and caption are unrelated

Name a classic Vine there’s only one thing worse than a rapist...

What’s the freezer food that you stock up on when you go to the grocery store? dumplings! as in the gyoza type.

How do you top your ice cream? that ‘magic’ chocolate sauce that hardens into chocolate. that stuff. i watched those ads all childhood long but my parents were immigrants and therefore very thrifty so we NEVER bought it iirc and then in my adulthood i got it a bunch of times. but now i live in the uk and can’t find it. and forgot it existed. and have never seen it anywhere.

Do you like Jello? the kind that’s served on a plate as a dessert? meh. the kind that are found in asian grocery stores as individual fruit-flavoured serves in little plastic cups? YES 

What’s something that you don’t have a picture of that you wish you did? future stock prices? LOL ... or i’m gonna go with @queenofslime‘s answer again -- how others see me. it’s a great answer.

How are you at climbing trees? not............ good. i mean, i like climbing, but i have absolutely terrible upper body strength. i did bouldering for a couple months but only stuck to the first like... three out of nine difficulty levels.

[morbid-n-macabre]

This one is local for me. The perpetrators are in my approximate age group, I was 16 when this occurred. Most of us locals who remember when this was going on hold a seething resentment towards this group of punks, and for good reason. Let me tell you why...

So, The Lords of Chaos were a teen militia group who did their very best to terrorize Fort Myers, Florida back in 1996. This crime spree ended with the murder of the very much loved and respected Riverdale Highschool band director, Mr. Mark Schwebes. The teacher was a truly good and decent human being who went out of his way to help the kids around him. Sadly, his killers knew this and used it to their advantage.

The Lords of Chaos lived in one of the more remote areas of Lee County, a place called Buckingham. The group consisted of teenagers with ridiculous nicknames: Kevin Foster was the leader who referred to himself as "God" (yep, the sociopath had a bit of a God complex), Pete Magnotti was "Fried", Derek Shields was called "Mob", and Chris Black was a bigger boy referred to as " Slim". Those 4 were the main members of the gang, but there were others who were less involved: Thomas "Dog" Torrone, Chris "Red" Burnett, and Craig Lesh. The only one in the group to have a criminal record was their leader, Kevin, albeit mostly driving offenses. His parents owned a local pawnshop so Kevin had access to an arsenal of weapons which he was apparently not taught to respect; the weapon which would be used to commit murder, a 12-gauge Mossberg 500 shotgun with an equipped suppressor, had been a Christmas gift when he was just 13. Kevin is described as charismatic, homophobic, racist, and bigoted; he was enamored with the cult leader David Koresh, serials he'd seen on television like Norman Bates, outlaws such as Billy the Kid, and the homegrown terrorist Timothy McVeigh. Kevin wanted to do something big to catch a name for himself, he wanted a reputation; the rest of the group had no problem with following his lead.

This group's crime spree appears to have begun at the end of March when they stole a couple of Jeep Cherokees. They drove the new vehicles out to Lehigh Acres and set them on fire, just sat and watched them burn. Next, Kevin filled a Coke can with something which resembled gun powder and attached wires to it with duct tape; said can was placed on a shelf in a Walmart pharmacy. Kevin then called the store and told the employee who answered that there was a bomb inside; panicked shoppers were evacuated, police flocked to the store, it was a mess. This group did their best to destroy everything they could; they spent their time searching for things to steal, random windows to break, or places to set fire to.

On the evening of April 13th the Lords of Chaos decided to vandalize and rob a restaurant called The Hut. This restaurant happened to have an outdoor patio where customers would sit and eat, and there were two beautiful macaw parrots kept in a large cage. When Kevin heard the two macaw parrots talking, he decided to light them on fire. Macaws are not stupid animals, they're very intelligent parrots with a lifespan which rivals ours. Thankfully one of the birds did somehow survive this, but it lost its mate.

At midnight on April 20th Kevin decided to do something big, it was the anniversary of the Waco siege. The group drove to a historical landmark, our Coca-Cola bottling plant, one of the only original bottling plants in Florida. While Kevin carefully filled a soda can with gunpowder and stuck a 25 foot fireworks fuse inside of it, his buddies strategically placed stolen propane tanks all around the building; they carefully ensured that once Kevin's bomb went off, the whole building would blow. Once it was all set up, the teens sat in a safe spot across the street and watched the explosion; firefighters did their best to put out the fire, but our beloved historical building was lost.

So, it's probably obvious that all of this really upset people, by this point the entire county was beyond angry! A local reporter wrote an article about the ongoing vandalism, and said article was very insulting towards the group of punks who were responsible for these terrible acts. The group read this article, and it only added fuel to the fire, so to speak. In turn, they wrote a manifesto which they had intended to mail off to our local newspaper, the News Press. For whatever reason the manifesto was never sent; nevertheless, it read in part:

"Lee County is dealing with a formidable foe, with high caliber intelligence, balls of titanium alloy, and a wicked destructive streak. Be prepared for destruction of biblical proportions, for this is the coming of a NEW GOD, whose fiery hand shall lay waste to the populous.

THE GAMES HAVE JUST BEGUN, AND TERROR SHALL ENSUE..."

The spree continued with the robbery of a woman named Emory Shields; Emory was not only the owner of a small restaurant called Alva Country Diner, but she had been one of the teen's landlord. After robbing Ms. Shields, they stole her vehicle. At one point the gang took a trip to the Edison mall in hopes of stealing some clothing. They attempted to let off a grenade inside Dillard's, but thankfully it was a dud. Next, Kevin and his buddies decided to attend Grad Nite, which is a big deal for highschool seniors because they get to run around Disney World throughout the night. Kevin had a plan to steal one of the character suits and shoot up Disney, to kill as many teenagers as possible, but thankfully he chickened out.

On April 30th the teenagers drove to their own school, Riverdale, with the intention of trashing it. They stole several things, set off multiple fire extinguishers, then filled up a bottle of bleach with gas and threw it though the highschool's auditorium window. Riverdale's beloved band director, 32 year old Mr. Mark Schwebes, caught the group outside. He confiscated all of the items which they had stolen from the school, and threatened to tell the resource officer. Kevin knew that once the vandalism inside the school was discovered, the teacher would put two and two together and the group would be busted; he decided that the band teacher had to die before that could happen.

The teens found Mr. Schwebes phone number and address by calling 411. They dialed the teacher first, to ensure that they'd obtained the correct information; after hearing Mr. Schwebes voice, Kevin, Pete, Derek, and Chris Black all jumped in their vehicle and drove over. Kevin knew that the teacher would answer his door for a student he recognized, and since Derek had been a member of the band, that's who was sent knocking. At approximately 11:30 pm the teacher opened the door for his student, and Kevin immediately shot him in the face with his aforementioned 12 gauge. It's said that Mr. Schwebes probably never knew what hit him. When the teacher hit the ground, Kevin shot him once more, this time in the buttocks because he wrongly assumed Mr. Schwebes to be homosexual. The group didn't even bother to pick up the spent shells, they just left them at the scene.

There's really no telling what else would have happened or who else would've been hurt or killed had this group not been caught when they did; it's said that they had been planning to rob a local Hardee's restaurant when they were finally caught. Thankfully they were braggarts, and one of the teen's girlfriends couldn't keep the secret, she went to the police.

Craig and Brad faced no charges, while Tom and Chris Burnett both took deals; they plead guilty to lesser crimes and received very little punishment in exchange for their testimony against the main members of the group.

Chris Black, Derek Shields, and Pete Magnotti all pled guilty to first degree murder. Pete received 32 years imprisonment while Chris and Derek are serving life. The only one of the group to go to trial was Kevin Foster. On June 17th of 1998 Kevin was sentenced to death; he has appealed his conviction, but recently it was undecided if the penalty would stick. From what I understand there was a new trial in which Kevin blamed his upbringing for his actions and asked that his own life be spared. It was decided that Kevin will ultimately be put to death by the state of Florida.

*I think it was Dateline which aired a two hour special on this case, I would link it if I could find it. This special kinda irked me because, idk, it almost seemed like the man who covered it fell in love with Kevin. It made the small-time gang leader out to be more than he was, like he was this highly manipulative cult leading criminal mastermind, which just wasn't the case. Kevin wasn't well known, there was no big following, he was not a force to be reckoned with. In all actuality Kevin Foster was a nobody until he and his buddies came up with a menacing name, vandalized our city, burnt parrots alive, and murdered an unsuspecting teacher who would've kicked his butt had he not been ambushed. If you're interested in knowing more, there's a really decent book about the case, "Someone Has to Die Tonight" which is worth the read.

Sorry for the opinions on this one. This whole case upsets me, and if you know me at all then you are already aware that I am a parrot person. Some obsess over cats, other dogs, for me it's parrots; I have 6 of them. My husband is still ticked off about the Coca-Cola plant.

This is a link to Mr. Schwebes sibling's blog. She's a Rabbi, and these are her feelings about the murder, and the new penalty trial which Mark's family has recently had to endure-

https://barefootpreachr.wordpress.com/category/thats-life/mark-schwebes/page/2/

[kenzie-kitty]

Enemies? Part 2 -Batman/Joker

Part 2 of “Enemies?”, which was posted not too long before this.

Definitely a trigger warning for a suicide attempt in this part :/

Part 1 is here

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was evening in Gotham, raining as usual, and the sun was setting slowly behind the tall buildings. The only strange thing about the night was that it was the end to a relatively uneventful day; the bank robbery was the only crime that had happened, and no one had actually gotten hurt.

Joker wasn’t feeling up for any other adventures at the moment, and he doubted he would any time soon. He considered taking off on an early retirement, but he’d come to actually like Gotham and the people in it. Specifically one person.

As he wasn’t doing anything illegal, he chose to go for a walk; he loved the smell of gasoline and smoke that had permeated the joke shop due to his arrival, but city-polluted fresh air was just as great. The streets were deserted, as they generally were in the southern side of the city, so Joker didn’t have any issues while he strolled through the cracked streets. His mind kept going back to his Dark Knight, the man who had stolen his heart without even knowing it. He couldn’t help but give himself the tiniest slice of hope that they’d end up together; he wanted desperately to know the Bat inside and out.

‘Don’t be stupid, clown. He’s a hero, you’re a villain; you’ll never be together. He’s a million times too good for you,’ his mind taunted him, slashing at his emotions with mental knives. He argued back and forth with the harsh little voice, eventually giving in and agreeing with it. He even started to join it.

His distracted mind was the reason he didn’t see the dark shape coming at him from his side.

~~~~~~~~~

Bruce, now in his Batsuit, made a quick trip to the police station as soon as the sun began to sink. He’d wanted to know more about the robbery, surprised to hear that Joker hadn’t made his usual jests or even shown his face. Come to think of it, the clown had been acting stranger than usual for the past couple months; Batman had heard him more than once muttering to himself, and he thought he’d heard the clown say something about a dark night.

Before he left the station, Gordon pulled him aside into the lockup.

“Listen, Batman. We’ve all noticed how you and Joker seem more… friendly than you used to, and we’ve kinda found that if we do as he says most people survive. So, uhm, we still have his coat and weapons from yesterday and I thought I’d give them to you to get back to him,” Gordon explained, handing Batman the dirty purple coat and a small shoebox filled with the aforementioned weapons.

“We aren’t friends. He doesn’t have friends. He’s just calmed down a bit, and I’m taking advantage of the down-time,” Batman claimed, taking the Joker’s belongings. He left the station and climbed onto his bike, speeding off in the direction of the bakery he’d dropped his clown off at the night before.

‘There I go again, calling him my clown,’ he thought, getting more and more annoyed at himself. He’d even asked Alfred about the food, but nothing sounded like it would’ve caused this. Besides, it would’ve stopped by this point had it been the food.

The bakery came into view and Batman parked in the shadows between it and its neighbor. Looking in one of the broken windows, he could see that no one had so much as touched anything inside recently; he wasn’t surprised he’d been mislead, Joker was becoming less hostile but he wasn’t getting any dumber.

He decided to walk around in case he could find any semblance of life in the dirtier side of the city. It didn’t take long for him to hear the distracted mutters of the Joker, nor did he have to look far to figure out where the costumed man was. He saw the green hair first, glowing slightly neon in the light of a lamp, and then the greasepaint came into view. Batman had to smirk at the way Joker would subconsciously flick the strands of hair from his face.

It was then that he noticed the coat he was wearing, identical to the one he’d left at the police station. He almost laughed aloud at the thought that the Joker had a closet full of identical outfits; he managed to achieve a blank look on his face before he moved toward his clown. ‘Stop calling him that,’ came the little voice again, but he ignored it.

As he got closer to Joker, he heard parts of what he was muttering. “Stupid clown… never be together… too good for you… never deserve his love… might as well die…” He suddenly became concerned for Joker, although he had no idea who or what he was thinking about. He closed the distance between them and shoved the clown into an alleyway, holding him against the wall with his hands over his head. For a moment, Joker struggled, not knowing for sure who was holding him down; the second he realised it was the Bat, he calmed down and sighed.

“If this is about the bank, it was because I got… bored,” Joker claimed, an unreadable look on his face.

“You’ve been awfully calm lately,” Batman accused, pushing his other questions to the end of his list. “What are you planning?”

“Do I really look like a guy with a plan?” Joker retorted immediately. “No, I’m just… letting everyone get used to the silence before I hit them with a big surprise.”

Batman narrowed his eyes at his clown, pressing Joker’s wrists together in his one hand as he began to struggle slightly. He couldn’t help but notice the lean yet muscular body hidden by the layers of tailored fabric, and the full lips underneath the bright red greasepaint. He mentally shook his head to refocus and continued the conversation.

“You left your things at the police station.”

Joker shrugged. “Yeah, but I know a good tailor and I have many more weapons than where those came from,” he smirked and winked at the Bat.

Batman kept his face straight as he revealed the coat and shoebox with his free hand. “Now you have the original coat and more weapons. Gordon wanted rid of them,” he supplied the explanation before Joker could ask; he was always doing that, giving the explanation the second he assumed his clown would ask. ‘Stop calling him yours, Wayne! He’s not, he’d probably rather be with Dent than you.’ He once again pushed down the voice.

“Why give them back when you know I’ll probably just cause more damage with them?”

Batman shrugged, “They’re yours and Gordon doesn’t want them. Neither do I.” He mentally punched the voice telling him he was lying about not wanting them, if only just to have a piece of the clown with him.

Joker stared at him for a heartbeat, suspicion clear in his eyes, before nodding slowly. “Well, I can’t take them from you with my hands caught above my head, now can I?”

Batman grunted and released one of his hands, quickly tightening his grip on the other to keep Joker where he was. The clown grabbed his things, first putting the coat over his arm then holding the box in his hand. “Uh, thanks,” he muttered, looking away from the caped vigilante and out into the dark street.

“I have more questions,” Batman informed, gaining back his clown’s attention. Joker nodded and put on his normal bored expression. “Ask away,” Joker motioned for him to continue with his freed hand, the weapons in the box sliding around making clicking sounds as they hit each other.

“Why steal money when you’ve said yourself that it’s not about the money,” Batman asked, dark eyes narrowing. Everybody had wondered it, constantly saying that he was contradicting himself.

Joker sighed in slight annoyance. ‘No one ever listens!’ His verbal replay showed he was becoming tired of answering the question. “It isn’t about the money, not for me. But, to everyone else, it is! See, people think that it’s money that can make them happy, but in reality it’s anything else. Friends, adventures, excitement, love! That’s what brings happiness; not money.”

Batman was taken aback by the answer. He didn’t think his clown- this mass murdering, bank robbing clown- was so sentimental. He then had to wonder if Joker had these things; he knew his clown had his own adventures and excitement, but friends and love? Everyone in the city was awaiting the day they’d see the clown’s corpse on TV as they danced around it.

“How’d you come up with that?”

Joker shrugged as best he could with one arm still extended above his head, slightly painfully he might add, and looked away from his Bat again. “Let’s just say it, uh, came to me in a dream,” he jested quietly, licking one of the scars inside his cheek. He was trying his hardest (ha, hardest) to ignore the way his Bat’s body was pressing against him; there was hardly any space between them. He tried to figure out a way to get out of his Knight’s grip, or at the very least put a small amount of space between them.

“Would you, uh, mind not standing so close to me? I’d rather not be pressed against you,” Joker lied. He internally winced when he noticed that he hadn’t made that statement sound anything close to being the truth.

Batman heard the lie in Joker’s words, though his mind tried to tell him he was imagining things. ‘Joker couldn’t possibly feel anything close to even liking me. He just wants to play mind games, just like he always does, don’t pay any attention to what he wants.’ The Bat ignored the Joker’s request and asked yet another question. “What’s the next big surprise?”

Joker found it increasingly more difficult to concentrate, especially when Batman repositioned his feet to find a more comfortable stance and inadvertently brushed harshly against Joker’s hips. Joker took slow, calming breaths to try to cool himself down, not hearing Batman’s question as he did so.

“Joker, answer the question,” Batman growled, surprised he was able to hide his reaction to accidentally brushing against his clown’s hips. Joker wasn’t responding and Batman could see that something had made him uncomfortable. ‘No, he can’t be… He’s just playing around,’ his brain insisted even as Batman could see a flash of… arousal? flash through his clown’s eyes.

“Joker?”

Joker blinked, finally calm enough to realise that his Knight was staring at him suspiciously through his mask’s eye holes. He cleared his throat and managed a smile. “Heh, gotcha!” He shouted weakly, somehow knowing his Bat wouldn’t be convinced. He had to get away before he said anything more condemning. “I, uhm, just realised that I, uh, left my oven on,” he smirked nervously before somehow wriggling out of his Bat’s grip and taking off down the road.

He ran fast, not caring how awkwardly tight his pants had gotten; he had to make it back to the joke shop without further stalling. He was close to his hideout when he was again shoved into a wall in an alley by his Knight.

“Oh, hello. So we meet again, Dark Knight,” he greeted as sarcastically as he could to cover his arousal. The fact that he’d been forcefully slammed into a wall (twice) was not helping.

“What are you hiding, Joker,” Batman growled, hoping to get the answer to the underlying question. It suddenly occurred to him what Joker had called him. ‘Dark Knight? He’d been muttering about a dark knight for days, could he have meant… me?’

“N-nothing, I have nothing to hide. Well, I mean, I do but nothing actually of concern to you,” Joker mentally cursed himself as he managed to somehow sound more suspicious.

“What did you call me?”

Joker’s paint covered eyebrows knitted together at the question. He’d been expecting something more… aggressive to follow his statement. “W-what do you, uh, mean?”

“You called me ‘Dark Knight’,” Batman clarified. “Why?”

Joker mentally stumbled for an answer that wouldn’t reveal how he felt; he couldn’t think of a believable reason to call him that, not one that wouldn’t bring the expectation of further explanation. He swallowed thickly, looking everywhere except his Dark Knight. He hadn’t even realised he’d called him that out loud, and he certainly hadn’t been wanting to do so.

“You’re not answering,” Batman growled. Joker couldn’t help but be aroused by the deep sound of the false voice and the feeling of being pressed against by the man who haunted his mind day and night. He knew that if his Bat moved his leg even slightly to the left he’d be able to feel Joker’s erection through both their layers of clothing. He had to distract the masked vigilante somehow and run; he didn’t want to hurt him, he’d done enough of that already. So he went with the next thing he thought of.

Batman’s eyes widened as his clown’s painted face was suddenly closer, their lips forced together with the surprisingly strong hand of the clown. He stood there, head stooped down in their kiss, as Joker let out a happy sounding hum. Then, as quickly as it had happened, the kiss stopped. Batman opened his eyes, although he wasn’t sure when they had closed, to see an empty space in front of him.

Joker was gone, but his paint was on Batman’s face as the only evidence he’d been there in the first place.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Joker slammed the joke shop’s door closed and leaned back against it, sliding down to sit on the floor. He felt the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. ‘Why did I do that?! He knows… He fucking knows!’

His head fell forward into his hands as his elbows rested on his knees. He tried to hold back the tears, knowing they’d lead to sobs; he hadn’t cried in years and knew he wouldn’t be able to handle himself if he started now. The salty liquid streaming down his face, creating tracks in his makeup that was already smearing off, had its own ideas. His shoulders shook as he realised he’d made a mistake by letting himself feel anything for his… the Batman.

He stood suddenly, slamming his fist backward into the wooden door and ignoring the sting in his hand as he walked into the back room he’d made into his bedroom. He found the bottle of vodka he’d taken from a gas station a couple days ago and twisted the cap off. Taking a long swig from it, he fell back onto his small bed and let sad sleep take over.

~~~~~~~~~

Bruce pulled the last of his costume off and tossed it to the ground of the Batcave. He’d changed into his normal clothing before he remembered the greasepaint that was still on and around his mouth. He pressed two fingers against his lips and pulled them away to see them covered in red and white paint. He wiped the last of it off his face with his black shirtsleeve and exited his secret hideout. He headed home to his penthouse, hoping to be able to think over his clown’s actions.

~~~~~~~~~~

Time had passed since their kiss, ten hours to be exact. Joker hadn’t left his hideout in that time, instead spending the day sitting on his bed unmoving. His minions had knocked on the door plenty of times but left believing he wasn’t there; he knew at some point they’d either enter to check on him or completely leave him be, but he didn’t care. Caring had been what hurt him in the first place. It always did.

He vaguely noticed the sun setting and the room becoming darker as time slipped deeper into the night. He supposed he should get up and eat or drink something before he passed out, but couldn’t bring himself to move until he decided to do something to get rid of his feelings.

He stood shakily and walked slowly to the dingy bathroom. His reflection showed a tired man with more tanned skin showing than greasepaint and dark rings under his eyes. The green in his hair was fading, but he didn’t have the energy to re-dye it. Looking away from the grimy mirror, he picked up the three shallow jars of his makeup.

He opened the first jar to see pasty white cream that he knew would be cold on his warm skin. He carefully slathered it over his face, leaving the areas around his eyes, mouth and scars clean of white as he knew they’d be covered in their own designated colors. Closing that jar, he twisted open the jar of black, seeing inky darkness as he did so. His fingers dipped inside and brought his covered fingers to his eyes. He smeared it over the lids, making sure no skin was showing through.

The red was always last, and he made sure to wipe the white and black residue off his fingers before he coated them in the crimson paint. He covered his lips first, pushing his thoughts of Batman’s soft lips as far from his mind as he could; he knew any tears would ruin the perfected makeup. His fingers painted the red over his scars and he shuddered slightly as he felt the jagged edges.

He stepped out of the bathroom and pulled on his purple coat, the one his Bat had brought back to him, feeling the familiar slight bulge of his favorite blade in his pocket. Sighing and rolling his shoulders back in a move of decision, he left the joke shop, thinking it would be his last time seeing the old building.

~~~~~~~~~~~ (Trigger warning for this upcoming part)

Bruce was back in his Batsuit as he stood at the top of one of the many skyscrapers of Gotham. The sun had set once again as he stood watching over his city. Suddenly, he heard a familiar voice come over the radio waves through the earpiece in his mask.

“Batman, I know you’re listening to this and even if you, uh, aren’t, you’ll hear it later,” Joker’s voice said quietly. He sounded… different; there was a twinge of pain in his nasally voice. “I, uh, I just want to say that we’ve had a good run, you and I. But, as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. I suppose I should resort back to my more normal self and give you a time frame to find your, uh, victim. So, you have five minutes until they’re… dead.”

Batman immediately jumped down from the building, using his suit’s wings to guide him away from the ground and across the sky; Alfred, who had been listening, used the signal to pinpoint the location of the voice. It took only a minute and a half for Batman to find the place; Joker was at the top of one of the largest skyscrapers in the city. And he was alone.

The Bat quickly used his Bat hook to scale the building, leaving him with only a minute left to figure out his clown’s plans. The clown in question had moved to the opposite end of the roof and was standing on the edge of the roof, his back to the vigilante.

“You found me,” he halfheartedly congratulated him, his shoulders slouched as he stared down to the ground.

“Who’s the victim?” Batman questioned, worriedly hoping he wouldn’t get the answer he was thinking. Hope was not on his side.

“Don’t you get it, Dark Knight? It’s me!” Joker shouted suddenly, swaying forward concerningly. He glanced at the purple watch he had around his wrist to see that he had ten seconds left. He turned, and what Batman saw made him gasp.

Those green eyes that were usually filled with anger and murder were now filled with sadness and tears. His makeup, which had obviously been applied with great care, now had streaks on the cheeks. A gust of wind blew his coat back to reveal his favorite suit, the one with the metallic blue, hexagonal patterned dress shirt, green vest, purple jacket, and purple slacks. He had a light green pocket square in the jacket’s breast pocket and shining green cufflinks on the sleeves that peeked out from under his coat’s sleeves. He was dressed how he wanted to be remembered; as the Clown Prince of Crime.

“Joker… You don’t want to do this,” Batman reasoned, taking a step toward him.

Five seconds.

“Yeah, I, uh, really do,” Joker confirmed quietly, edging his feet back. “And you won’t stop me. Because this city would condemn you for saving the terrorist clown.”

Three seconds.

“I’ll save you because no one deserves to die, especially not like this. Especially not you,” Batman insisted, taking two more steps forward.

One second.

Joker gave what he thought would be his last smile. “Goodbye, my Dark Knight.”

He felt the upward draft hit him hard as he fell backward off the building; his wavy hair flew up along the sides of his painted face and his coat was plastered against his back. He knew more tears were leaking out of his eyes, but he didn’t care; he closed his eyes against them and waited for his body to hit the ground and blackness to take over.

He must have been halfway to the ground when something wrapped around his ankle and stopped his fall. ‘No! No, no, no, no, no! He’s not supposed to save me! He can’t save me! We’re enemies, and it isn’t even like he’s breaking his rule! I was killing myself!’ He mentally screamed at his Bat as he was lifted back up to the roof. His back hit the side of the building every so often, but he barely felt it as the (second) bottle of vodka he’d downed merely fifteen minutes ago finally numbed his body.

“You,” he muttered with depressed annoyance as he was pulled over the edge and set down in a sitting position. “You just couldn’t let me die. Why not?! Huh?! I have nothing left to live for, Batsy! You’re the only one who’s willing to save me, and now it’s for no real reason. You wouldn’t have broken your rule, I was jumping on my own! Why can’t you just forg-”

His depressed speech was suddenly cut off as his lips were covered by Batman’s. Shocked, he froze, not sure if this was some sick trick to just shut him up or if it was real. He couldn’t sit still for long, however, and he leaned into his Bat’s chest, returning the kiss wholeheartedly as he placed his hands lightly on his chestplate. He felt as Batman grinned against his lips and couldn’t help but pull away to see the rare sight.

Batman was still smiling as his clown pulled away; he could accept that he was in love with the murderer and that the murderer was in love with him.

Joker smiled back at his Dark Knight, then looked away as he realised he’d probably never get anything like this again. I mean, they were enemies. Right?

“Hey, look at me,” a smooth voice said. Joker knew it had been his Bat, but it wasn’t gravelly; it was familiar, though he didn’t know why. Looking up, confused, he opened his mouth to speak but was stopped by a gloved finger.

“Listen, Joker,” he started. Joker braced himself for the next words he knew he would hear. “I think I should get you off of this building just in case you got physically hurt or you decide to try again.”

Joker hadn’t been expecting that to be the next words, but he nodded. Batman lifted him with one arm before grabbing him around the waist. “Now, we could take the stairs, but it’s faster to fly,” the Bat smirked, giving his clown a slight squeezed before jumping off the building and using his free arm to guide them down. Joker felt the updraft of wind hit his face, but this time he wasn’t crying or falling. He was floating with a grin as he held onto his Bat’s arm.

They landed safely on their feet and Batman lead them to where his Bat Bike was waiting only a few blocks away. They hopped on, Batman in front and Joker on the back for the second time that week with his arms around his Bat’s waist, the dark cape being moved to the side. They sped off in the direction of the storage lot for Wayne Enterprises. Joker wondered what they were doing there when Batman likely knew where Joker was staying, but he didn’t say anything as he navigated inside the fenced in lot.

“Normally, I would’ve blindfolded you or something, but I have to doubt you’d do anything to hurt me at this point,” Batman informed him as he stopped before a group of large storage trailers. Joker was still getting used to the familiar smooth voice that was obviously the vigilante’s real voice.

“You could blindfold me anyway, I wouldn’t mind,” the clown teased, resting his painted chin on his Dark Knight’s shoulder. The latter glanced back with a smirk before slowly driving them forward and through the large door of one. The inside was dark for a split second before the floor began to drop down; Joker was amazed by how discreet the Batcave was made. No one would think to look in Wayne Enterprises.

It took only a moment for his amazement to be for the brightly lit, white room. He saw a desk covered with high-tech computers and televisions sitting in the center of the floor. To his right, a section of the wall rose up to reveal a dark garage-type space and he saw his Bat rolling his bike into the space before closing it.

“Alright, c’mere. I have to check for wounds, so take off your coat and jacket,” Batman instructed, motioning for Joker to follow him and sit at the desk. Joker did as he was told and looked around as Batman placed his two clothing items at the empty end of the desk. “Your shirt will have to come off, as well, so I can actually see if there are wounds,” he teased gently, his lips hovering just next to Joker’s ear.

The makeup-covered man felt a small shiver traveled up his spine as he unbuttoned his flashy shirt and folded it sloppily in his lap. The vodka was wearing off and he could feel fresh bruises on his back and a slight headache was pounding in his head.

“No bleeding, so that’s good,” Batman murmured as his fingers slid lightly around his clown’s back. He was shocked into momentary silence to see scars scattered across his skin, and that was only his back; he had to wonder what -or who- had happened to this man, besides himself. He stepped slightly over to Joker’s side to check his arms and head for any wounds he might have overlooked. There were less scars on Joker’s biceps, but the few that were there looked to be painful.

“What’s the diagnosis, Doc?” Joker jested quietly, feeling the slight sensation of bare hands brushing over his skin. He suppressed another shiver as he realised his Bat was examining his other scars, the ones he could keep hidden. “I know it, uh, looks gruesome,” he swallowed quietly, pulling his arms quickly through the sleeves of his shirt and redoing the buttons.

“They suit you, Mr. Puts-his-own-life-in-danger-so-many-times-I’m-amazed-you’re-still-alive,” his Bat joked, resting his forearms over Joker’s shoulders.

Joker snorted but remained quiet as he leaned back into the armored chest of his Bat. He froze as the entrance opened again; his Bat stood up straight and blocked the view of his clown from the arriving newcomer.

“Alfred, how good to see you,” Batman greeted in his false voice. Joker heard quiet footsteps coming closer and he couldn’t help but panic a little as he thought of what this Alfred would think. ‘Oh, fuck! What if he’s already in a relationship with this guy?’

“Well, I didn’t see you back at the pe-”

“I’ve been busy,” Batman interrupted, gaining a suspicious look from his elderly butler. He motioned with his head that he had someone here, but didn’t move to reveal who it was just yet. “You remember when I had you look for where the Joker was? Well… Found ‘im!” His false voice had gone back to his normal one as he forced Joker’s chair around and moved to stand beside him as his clown waved nervously at the old butler.

“Uh, hi,” Joker greeted slowly, looking at his Bat and back to the nicely dressed, older British man a few times.

Alfred stood looking at the two for a heartbeat before he addressed his master. “If you’re going to bring you boyfriend to you cave, you could at least put a sock on the pod’s door,” he teased, giving Batman a smirk.

The caped man was stunned into silence by the statement as Joker laughed incredulously; the Bat smacked his shoulder playfully, causing his clown to let out an amused “Ow.”

Alfred shook his head and turned back to exit  the cave, muttering something about young love.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okie, so I’m gonna post the rest in a final post a.k.a. Part 3

I hope if you’ve made it this far you’re enjoying this. I’m honestly feeling giddy like I did when this was first written, so I hope it’s well received.

Please don’t copyright, it would be super mean.

[family-business-one-shots]

I’m With Stupid

Relationship: SPN Cast x Sister!Reader

Words: 1,723

Summary: Things don’t quite go according to plan at your first convention appearance.

Warnings: fainting, hunger, dehydration, lightheadedness

Tags: @winchesters-favorite-girl @bellero @assbutt-still-in-hell @percussiongirl2017 @iamafishandigosplish @hi-my-name-is-riley

A/N: Wow, I actually wrote something! It’s a miracle! (insert laughing emoji here) This is loosely based on a true story that happened to me recently. Not at a con, but that’s why it’s loosely based. Hope you enjoy it!

If everyone in the world kept a running list of all the stupid things they’d done in their lives, yours would most likely be one of the longest. It wasn’t totally your fault, you just tended to do some really dumb things at the worst possible times.

Like right now.

One second you felt perfectly fine, and the next, you were starting to feel lightheaded and shaky. You tried to hide it as best you could, especially since you didn’t want to upset the fans, but if you didn’t fix this soon, things weren’t going to be pretty.

It really didn’t help that this was your first ever Supernatural convention appearance.

“You doing okay?”

Misha’s voice shook you out of your thoughts. The two of you had a tiny break during your group photo op while the next people in line got their props ready. You glanced over at him, taking in his concerned expression.

“I’m fine,” you told him over the music. Sure, you were lying through your teeth, but he didn’t need to know that.

His features were skeptical, but before he could say anything else, more fans stepped up to take their picture with you, and the conversation ended.

Once your group op was finished, you thought you might actually have a chance to head back to the green room and grab something to eat, but luck wasn’t on your side. A lovely volunteer told you about a sudden schedule change that meant you had back to back autos and ops with almost no break, on top of your solo panel and meet & greet. In spite of your exhaustion and empty stomach, you agreed to it. It was stupid, sure, but you didn’t want to complain and seem like a whiny bitch. Plus, if you said something, it might mess everyone else up.

Long couldn’t even begin to describe the rest of your day.

One thing after another, after another, after another; you felt like you were running around like a crazy person. If you weren’t at your autos, you were in solo photo ops, then your forty-five minute meet & greet, then in another group photo op -- it seemed like it was never-ending.

By the time your solo panel came around, you were practically running on empty. The one thing that was going to get you through the next hour was the thought of finally slinking back to the green room and getting more than two minutes to relax and eat something.

“You guys are in for a real treat today!” Rich told the audience.

From where you stood backstage, you could hear their cheers, and your heart fluttered a little. Whether it was from the thought that they were excited to see you or your waning strength, you didn’t know, but you couldn’t focus on it.

“I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so wonderfully pleasant and sweet in my life,” Rob said. “Do you, Rich?”

The band began to play as Richard responded, “No I haven’t, Robbie. And now it’s time for all of you to meet her, too! You know her as Jenna Kershaw, best friend of the Winchester brothers, here making her first ever con appearance, ladies and gentlemen please welcome Y/N Y/L/N!”

That was your cue. Forcing your unsteady legs to move, you pushed back the curtain and bounded up the steps leading to the stage. Despite your fatigue, a huge smile found its way onto your face as you were greeted by thousands of screams and clapping hands.

“Thank you, guys!” you said. As Rich and Rob left the stage, you grabbed a chair to your right and brought it front and center. That might buy you a little time. “How are y’all doing today?”

The crowd screamed their reply, and the panel had begun. People asked you tons of questions, mostly original but with some generic ones thrown in, and you did your best to answer them as well as you could. Everyone was so delightful to talk to, and the audience helped you push through and try to make it to the end.

Everything came to a halt pretty quickly, though.

You’d lasted a good half hour before things started falling apart. As you listened to one of the questions, your vision started swimming and the top of your head was on fire. Trying not to show it, you shook your head a little to focus back in.

“Uh, are you okay?” the fan in line asked, her voice etched with worry.

“What? Oh, uh, yeah, I’m fine,” you assured her with a tight lipped smile. “Could you just repeat your question for me please?”

The fan replied, “O-okay, sure. My question was who do you think is more protective of Jenna, Sam or Dean?”

“Well, I think I’m the most protective of her,” you said to the amusement of the crowd, “but if I--if I had to pick, I… I would probably say--”

It was as though your lungs couldn’t fill with air fast enough, leaving you gasping. Black started filling the edges of your vision, slowly creeping in until you could hardly see. You thought someone was saying something, to you or at you, but all you could hear was a dull ringing. With the thought of taking a small break on your mind, just for five minutes, you stood up, and then you fell asleep.

When you woke up, you were being held in strong arms, carried bridal style backstage, to the green room, where they helped you sit in one of the tall chairs. There was a flurry of activity around you, people running around and shouting, which only served to further confuse you.

“Here, drink this,” a voice said.

Someone handed you a water bottle that you gratefully accepted. A shaking hand uncapped it and put it up to your lips, letting the cool liquid wash down your parched throat. Another voice called for a second water bottle, to be placed on the back of your neck. After a few moments, you started regaining a little of your strength.

“Y/N, can you hear me?”

You turned toward the voice and saw, once your vision finally cleared, Rob staring at you with obvious concern. Giving a slight nod, you watched his features melt into relief.

“What happened?” you asked, your words a little slurred.

“You passed out,” Rob told you. “EMTs are on their way right now, so just sit tight, okay?”

You tried to say something to him in response, but someone was pushing the water bottle back up to your mouth.

It took less than two minutes for the medical team to arrive. They crowded around you, firing a bunch of questions at you. How do you feel? How old are you? Have you been drinking? When’s the last time you ate? Your head would have been spinning if you hadn’t already been disoriented.

Finally, they seemed to get the information they needed and left you alone, talking instead with some of the others to find out what happened from a different perspective. Before long, they were heading out the door, leaving you with your friends and the convention staff.

“Y/N, do you know how this happened?” Kim asked, handing you a little food to tide you over.

You shrugged. “Probably because I haven’t had anything to eat or drink since this morning.”

“This morning?” Misha repeated. “Sweetheart, that was hours ago! Why didn’t you come back here and eat something?”

Your face burned as you replied, “I didn’t have time. With the schedule change I had all my ops and autos and stuff back to back all day, so I never had a chance to grab anything, plus I didn’t want to disappoint any of the fans, especially since this is my first con, but now I’ve just screwed everything up as usual and they’re gonna hate me if they didn’t already and--”

“Hey, kid, breathe,” Briana cut you off, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. “No one’s gonna hate you for something you had no control over.”

“But that’s the thing -- I could have controlled it,” you told her. “I could have said no to the schedule change.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Lowering your eyes, you fiddled with the bottle cap in your hand. “Because I didn’t wanna mess anybody up. If I said no it would have screwed up everybody else and I didn’t wanna be the cause of that.”

An awkward hush fell over the group surrounding you, broken only by your occasional chewing. You hated that you were so vulnerable right then, so open and raw, even if you trusted these people. It made you feel weak, and you hated feeling weak, which is exactly what got you into the mess in the first place.

Just then, Rich came back to the green room, looking a little rushed. As his eyes fell on you, relief washed over his face.

“How you doin’?”

“Good,” you said. “Better.”

“That’s good to hear,” he said with a smile. “Do you wanna stay back here and take it easy or head out and finish your panel, just for a couple minutes?”

“I think she should stay here and--”

“No.”

Everyone in the room turned toward you, an array of emotions displayed in their expressions.

You sighed, saying, “I wanna finish the panel. Those people out there didn’t shell out tons of money to see me faint and give up.”

“You’re not giving up, sweetheart,” Rob assured you. “No one would blame you for staying back here and taking it easy.”

“I don’t care. I’m finishing the panel. Rich, can you give me a hand?”

It took a bit longer than you’d wanted, but with Richard and Rob’s help, you made it back to the stage, where you were greeted with enthusiastic cheers and shouts of “We love you!” Rob grabbed you your chair from before, along with a much needed water bottle, and you were ready to go.

“Hey guys,” you greeted sheepishly. “I should probably apologize for before. I was kinda dumb and didn’t eat anything all day, which is why I passed out. I’m fine now, but I’m sorry if I scared y’all.”

The audience screamed their assurances, making you smile.

“Alright,” you said, “now where were we?”

[thegreatpikminzx789]

Etrian Odyssey Nexus - Overall Thoughts

Amidst all of the plotting and playing of Nexus, I never done a legit review of a game, so I figured I’d give it a try with the recent entry in the EO series, Etrian Odyssey Nexus.

The following will contain spoilers for the game, so if you have not played it, you have been warned.

The favorite thing I’ve recently played the thought with, ever since I touched EOIV was creating a party that felt attached to the world they lived in, and can develop more to the plot than being nameless members who merely want to clear Yggdrasil for fame or fortune. And with a grand total of nineteen classes, along with the pseudo-class of Vampires, and it’s a combination of characters you’d never thought would happen to meet up unless told through stories.

EOV sort of felt that way to me, but even the two remakes of the first two Etrian Odyssey games have a more balanced party that makes you feel attached to them than your own in some cases.

If you wanted to recreate the Hexer, there’s a way. If you wanted to use a few of EO3′s classes even if you have not played the original game, you can do so. You can even replicate the Hoplite class if you subclass the Protector with the Highlander! The amount of classes can make almost any class combinations possible, given you set things up correctly. Heck, the Vampire can even be of use against the Dinogator, given you know what you’re doing.

The fact that this game also has NPC’s that interact with you reminds me of EOIV greatly. Sure, only one really joins you for the first floor, and for the boss of that labyrinth if you allow her to, but there’s enough interaction that makes them feel more noteworthy, even if they merely travel beside you and give you small benefits.

The story is quite interesting as well- two sides (the Seafarers and the Maginians) wanting to find the ultimate treasure that supposedly grants ‘eternal prosperity’. Only to find out said eternal prosperity may not be all that it may seem. There were legitimate moments where I thought things were going to go wrong if I didn’t do something to stop it.

Apart from a few times I gotten a game over, I had an enjoyable playthrough of the main story, especially with my first attempt at defeating the final boss after things seemed to go badly.

Heck, even Makiri and the Forest Folk were such a cool thing to have in Lemuria. And hearing the Lost Shinjuku music in their village is giving me such major EOU flashbacks, I honestly wish we can have an EO game where Forest Folk can be an actual race that can be used for classes.

Now, with every good thing, there’s always a few things I hated. Not that I have to like everything, coming from a gamer/author’s perspective, but there were things that legit bugged me a bit.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed Rob when he actually opened up more, but honestly, seeing him telling my characters to just end themselves was really making me want to just put down the game and despise him for all that he stands for. It just irks me whenever a character, or anyone really, tells another to end their life because things would be better for this particular person. That line will always bug me whenever I see him, but I persevered and enjoyed him for what he is.

Kvasir, Kvasir, Kvasir... Even with his hard to pronounce name, he turned out to be waaaaay different when I first met him. His voice is alright, but I really wish he didn’t have to have this creepy personality, and the fact that he admits a few times that he stripped his clothes and getting banned for being nude. I never hated a barkeeper before, but Kvasir takes the number one place in my characters to never mention list. If there was an option to head to a different barkeep/quest giver in game, I would’ve been MORE than content with Kirtida or Cass than listening to this lame excuse of a bartender!

Also the lack of EOV content, aside from two classes and a plethora of enemies and one boss from the game, kinda hurts me a bit, but there’s always DLC portraits to remedy the good old times of EOV. Hell, maybe even the only remaining Arken could’ve been a much more better fit for Lemuria’s Yggdrasil Tree resident, considering the almost out of nowhere reveal of the “Yggdrasil Girl” that was name dropped on ya in the credits, and only appears for the info-dump and True Jormungandr segment.

I know the Arken are considered aliens and are the most plot-confusing things ever since the revelation thrown at you after the Eternal Tyrant boss, but honestly, I find Arken to be more pleasing in terms of design, instead of having to look at a physical-almost-nude-representation of the Yggdrasil Tree itself. In fact, I don’t think it’s ever mentioned how the tree even MANAGED to make a physical form of it’s conscious. It’s just irritating to think of, and I had always wondered when she’ll physically appear whenever her voice clips played. Guess that’s another change to my Nexus series. Just change Arken to be the resident of the Yggdrasil Tree in Lemuria, and you’d have at least one character that isn’t stupid to try and explain what happened in the not-originating-from-EO3-dungeon, the Abyssal Shrine, instead of saving it all for the freaking 5th floor, like what EOV did in its sixth labyrinth. >_>

Hell, even the Abyssal Shrine IS a basic copy-paste of the Empyreal Bridge! No actual plot dump until you reach the final floor! Seriously, this dungeon could’ve been better. Even as someone who has not seen the original Abyssal Shrine, I would’ve loved to see it remodeled. Given the boss theme and the Abyssal Princess’ naming alone, that was such a missed opportunity...

Moving on... I knew Blót was going to be the antagonist the moment I connected the little bell with a class that appeared in EO1 and EO2. But the twin plot twist was something I certainly didn’t expect, and it’s a shame we only see him so much without the Hexer robes and he tries so hard to be so secretive that there’s barely any opportunities to know him or his twin brother that well (who I’m also assuming may be named Blót, considering the Hexer twin Blót dies to Jormungandr, while the Hero Blót gets thrown into the Abyssal Shrine).

Honestly, with this twin plot twist in mind, this certainly makes one idea for a saga of Yggdrasil’s Nexus to be a fun trip to write, given I am given time to do so. Blót is one of those characters that had a missed opportunity to be more explained, both in terms of his twin brother, and for the thought of reviving Jormungandr to begin with. The inner author within me is going to have a little fun with Blót, in hopes of explaining more than what the game tried to convey to its best. (Also missed an opportunity for a Hero/Hexer fight with Blót and his twin brother, like, come on, how can you play Towering Pair and NOT borrow the Ren/Thlatchga fight to make it more interesting?)

Also, Artelinde. Why was she here? I ignored her the first time I saw her and thought “Hey, that’s a nice character, I wonder who she is”. Having gotten around to playing EO2U sometime later in my life, I found myself questioning why she was even here. The game could’ve shed some light on what happened between EO2/EO2U to justify her being here, but it doesn’t... And it just begs why she had to be here other than representation for EO2.

Murdered tons of people all to protect a former guild member turned monster thanks to the Overlord? NOPE, no extending redemption arc/back story for you! You get relegated to being a martyr like character! Ugh... I really wanted to hear her struggles of redeeming herself for what she did, but I guess that idea never made it into the plot draft of Nexus... <_>

Things I disliked aside, the only thing I found myself being neutral on was Enrica.

Despite the massive flashbacks to Camilla from Fire Emblem If/Fates with her fan service boob appeal, I felt she really could’ve been different and not act like a child upon first meeting her. Heck, she’s even a freaking Farmer in-game, if her luck with finding items is any indication. How the heck does a character that has the coding of a Farmer LOOK like that, let alone have plot relevance? I was expecting a Sovereign at least because she mentions ‘becoming a queen’ once she goes back to her homeland, but nope. A freaking FARMER.

Sigh

I don’t hate her that much, she’s just one of those “meh, I can deal with this” type of character.

My overall thoughts are that there’s a strange balance of good and bad things I don’t like in this game. Sure, I wish there could’ve been more classes, some more things explained/justified, and an actual English dub to boot, but the need to get this out before the 3DS era of games come to a close is rather understandable. Even without Mystery Dungeon 2 being able to make it over to the West, this is a great dedication to the series Etrian Odyssey has made itself out to be, and I am personally glad to have bought the game and gotten myself into the series.

This is one game that sends off the EO series on a good note, and though I’ll miss mapping out the maps when the next installment arrives, I’ll be glad to see, make, and enjoy the story of the lore that goes into the Etrian Odyssey series.