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oddinary4bts · 1 year

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The Forgotten Spaces | ch 4 (jjk)

☆summary: you've been dancing on the same dance crew since your teenage years, and you finally have an important role in it. It feels like life is taunting you when your rival comes back after disappearing for a year, ready to tease you every chance he gets. Will the teasing turn into more, or are you going to take him down with you?

☆pairing: photographer and dancer!Jungkook x dancer!female reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, there will be mature content in later chapters)

☆genre: slow (SLOW) burn enemies to lovers, college!au, slice of life!au, angst (oop), smut and fluff

☆warnings: nausea, hangover, the park jimin effect, drinking, cursing? a time skip of a month

☆word count: 9.6k

☆a/n: why is posting making me anxious? fun fact, I'm posting from New York City this week! Went to the two first Agust D concerts ayyy

☆a/n pt2: always and forever thankful for @moonleeai and her dedicated work as my beta reader <3

☆series masterpost here

☆Read What Was Hidden here, the fic that inspired this whole story, written by @daechwitatamic, one of my fav human beings on this app <3 It follows the story of Jo and Taehyung before The Forgotten Spaces

☆☆☆☆☆

For this meeting of our end of the world

It's with you that I want to sing

On the threshold of the memories the dead of today

Them that breathe for us

The forgotten spaces

Je t'écris - Gaston Miron (rough translation by me)

☆☆☆☆☆

Saturday, May 19th

Jungkook feels sick. Sick of everything, but mostly sick because his hungover has kept him in bed all day. He doesn’t even know if he’ll be able to pull up for dance practice later. All he knows is that his room has been spinning whenever he wakes up from naps, and that he fucked up majestically last night.

He doesn’t quite remember everything he said. He just remembers you, in his room, and then you being gone, replaced by Jimin and Taehyung.

The only thing he knows is that you know. The text that’s been sitting on his phone all day is reminder enough.

[11:12 am] You: hey, i hope ur okay this morning.. if u ever wanna talk about last night, we can grab a coffee or smth😌

He doesn’t know what to say, so he hasn’t replied. Because he’s not okay at all, and he doesn’t want to talk about it. Especially not with you.

Especially not when he hasn’t been able to eat anything since the first time he woke up today. It’s nearing 4 pm now, and he technically needs to be at the studio in two hours. Hobi already said he’d pick him up, but he’s still far from being presentable right now.

Jungkook groans, hiding his face in his pillow. You come up in his mind, the look of horror on your face last night making everything spin around him twice as much as before. Whenever he closes his eyes, you’re there, and he almost hopes to go blind.

Though he’s pretty sure you’d find a way to haunt him even if he was blind.

Another groan escapes him, and he turns his head to the side as someone knocks on his door. “Uh?” he lets out, loud enough for whoever it is to hear.

He’s surprised to see it’s Yoongi as the man opens the door. “I made you soup,” Yoongi says, and sure enough he is carrying a tray with a steaming bowl of soup on top of it.

Jungkook expects the thought of eating to make him feel worse, but surprisingly enough, no nausea rises inside of him. Instead, he realizes his stomach feels dreadfully empty, so he forces himself to sit, wincing at the throbbing pain at his temples.

It’s almost enough to make him forget the pain in his leg.

“Did you take any painkillers?” Yoongi asks as he puts down the tray at the foot of the bed. “And have you drank any water?”

“Yes and yes,” Jungkook replies, voice raucous from disuse. “Pretty sure I could use some more painkillers though.”

Yoongi nods, watching his younger friend carefully. “Do you need me to go get you some?”

Jungkook slowly shakes his head no. “I need to get out of bed if I want to make it to dance practice.”

At that Yoongi laughs. “Good luck with that.”

Jungkook frowns, glaring at Yoongi. “I’m very capable, I’ll have you know.”

“Your room smells like someone died in here.”

Though he’s usually sensitive to smell, Jungkook’s hungover state keeps him from being able to tell if the room really does stink. “Tae and Jimin cleaned up.”

“Then you must be the dead body,” Yoongi says, in that deadpan kind of way of his. He shrugs his shoulders, before adding, “Anyway, just eat and then take a shower. I’m sure you’ll feel better.”

Jungkook nods and watches as Yoongi makes to move out of his room. Yoongi’s at the door when Jungkook says, “Hyung?” Yoongi turns around, a quizzical look on his features. “Thank you for the soup.”

A smile breaks out across Yoongi’s face. “Anytime.”

And then Yoongi leaves, shutting the door softly behind him, and Jungkook is left alone once again. He looks down at the soup, and he realizes he really is hungry. He pulls the tray closer to him, making sure the soup doesn’t spill over the rim of the bowl, before grabbing the spoon.

The first spoonful of soup has his eyes fluttering shut with delight. Yoongi’s always been an amazing cook, and he hasn’t disappointed today. It awakens Jungkook more than anything else could have, and he’s finished the bowl of soup so quickly he almost considers eating the tray.

He’s still famished, but at least he’s got something in his stomach now. It’s enough to get him to stand from his bed, and though everything wobbles for a few seconds, he’s able to start gathering what he’ll need for his trip to the shower.

The shower really helps make him feel human again, and he’s relieved. As he steps out and looks at himself in the mirror, eyes dipping to his scars, he feels ready to confront the whole world if need be. He won’t have to bail on dance practice after all.

He’s down in the kitchen, eating some reheated pizza from last night, when Hobi arrives. His older friend pats him on the back, before putting down a Gatorade in front of him.

“Thought you’d need this,” he says, before climbing on the stool next to Jungkook.

Jungkook chuckles, immediately uncapping the Gatorade to take a long swig. It’s the last thing he needed to feel as good as new, and he offers Hobi a wide grin as soon as he puts the bottle down.

“I sure did,” he says, and the two friends laugh.

One thing that doesn’t change though, is the heaviness in Jungkook’s heart. Because if you know, then it’s just a matter of time before the rest of the crew knows. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to deal with everyone pitying him at the same time.

Maybe then he’ll just have to dip again.

Jin comes into the kitchen, and he stops as he sees Jungkook and Hobi at the counter. Valeria trails behind him, and Jungkook is struck dumb once more.

He never thought Jin would be able to pull the girl. He’s still surprised that she does exist, and whenever he’s alone with Jin he makes it a priority to remind his older friend.

“Sup’ losers,” Jin says as he starts moving again, heading towards the fridge to store the bottle of rosé wine he’s holding. “Surprised you were able to get out of bed.”

He says that over his shoulder looking right at Jungkook, who rolls his eyes. “I’m not a senior citizen like you, I’ve still got youth on my side.”

“Listen you little shit,” Jin bursts out, and Valeria starts laughing. It has the effect of a calming shower on Jin, who only glares at Jungkook. “You’re lucky the lady is here. Otherwise you’d be dead.”

“If you’d be able to catch me, that is.”

Jin looks towards Hobi.

“Don’t ask me for help,” Hobi says, raising his hands in defense. “You’re all alone on this.”

Jin’s head turns towards his girlfriend next. She’s shy, and Jungkook has never really talked to her before. So when he and Hobi look at her too, she blushes, before shrugging.

Jin lets out a childish whine, before saying, “Alright then, I’m old.”

“We like you like that.” Valeria is the one that speaks, and Jungkook chokes on a laugh as he turns back towards Jin.

“You heard her.”

Jin is fake-glaring at his girlfriend, but then his features soften. “Yeah, but at least she’s pretty.” And just like that he moves out of the kitchen, pulling Valeria behind him.

“I’ve been told I’m pretty too,” Jungkook yells behind Jin, and Hobi laughs next to him. “He’s so whipped,” Jungkook says after a few seconds, just to make sure Jin is out of earshot. His comment makes him think about another couple that’s starting to form, and he turns to look at Hobi. “And you? What’s up with Jiho?”

Hobi chokes, flushing fully red, up to the top of his ears. “What do you mean?”

Jungkook raises his eyebrows as he tries to hold in the shit-eating smirk that wants to form on his lips. “What do I mean? Why did you invite her yesterday?”

“I –” Hobi says. “I just thought it’d be fun to hang with the crew…”

“The crew?” The smirk has won now, and it breaks across Jungkook’s lips.

��Well, you know, just like…” Hobi falls silent, before letting out a strangled laugh. “I honestly didn’t see it coming.”

It’s cute, and Jungkook’s smirk turns into a softer smile. “To be honest, me neither.”

“She’s got balls though,” Hobi says, laughing lightly this time. “She’s the one who suggested we should go on a date, after dance practice last week.”

All that Jungkook remembers of that night is that he walked with you after. The rest is a blur of anxiety and his leg hurting. But he’s not surprised that Jiho’s got balls: she has to be your closest friend for a reason.

“You said yes, I hope,” Jungkook says.

Hobi slowly nods. “Yeah. But I invited her yesterday because of that too. And we’re going to a restaurant she suggested tomorrow.”

Jungkook doesn’t have to fake the happiness that takes over him right now. He’s happy for his friend, he really is. For his friends, plural. Because Taehyung, Jin, Yoongi and now Hobi… They’re all happy. They all have met someone, someone to care for them where no one else can. Strangely, it’s something Jungkook doesn’t really want for himself right now, maybe because he’s too stuck in the past.

Too stuck trying to heal from the crash, knowing some parts won’t ever heal and refusing to give up the fight for now.

It brings him back to you. To last night, and to whatever he said. He wishes he could remember the words, just to know how bad he fucked up, but he doesn’t. He won’t remember, and he won’t ask you.

He won’t take you up on your offer for coffee. He knows pity when he sees it, and he abhors it. Especially when it comes from you.

Instead, he focuses on Hobi, on the smile that lights up his friend’s face as he tells him about Jiho, about how they’ve been texting almost constantly. It’s all Hobi talks about on the ride to the studio, as he mentions stuff Jiho told him.

Stuff she told him about her when she was younger, but also about you. About how you’ve been friends since the first day of kindergarten, when someone pulled her braids and laughed at her and you punched them in the face.

He’s not surprised child you would punch someone that deserved it in the face. He’s pretty sure adult you would do it too.

Hobi parks his car next to the studio, and they are getting out of the vehicle when Jungkook notices you walking, hands buried in yet another oversized sweater. You’re wearing yoga pants underneath, and your hair is pulled up in a high ponytail. You catch his gaze a few seconds after he notices you, and he’s about to smile at you when you just look away, walking in the building without once glancing back.

What the fuck?

Jungkook frowns, especially as Hobi says, “What happened with Y/n last night?”

For some reason, Jungkook immediately grows defensive. He shrugs, a little vehemently before starting to walk towards the door. “Nothing happened. Just let it slip that I got into a car crash.”

“So she knows?” Hobi asks.

Another shrug of Jungkook’s shoulders. He buries his hands in the pockets of his black sweatpants, just to hide the way he’s clenching his fists even though he’s trying to stay calm. “Yeah. So everyone will know.”

“I don’t think so,” Hobi says, and Jungkook glances at him, brows knit together. “I mean, she’s good at keeping secrets.”

“She’s probably already told Jiho,” Jungkook points out as they reach the door. He doesn’t see you on the other side, and that’s the only reason why he opens it.

“Well, Jiho didn’t say anything about you, if that can reassure you.”

Hobi has felt the switch in his mood, hasn’t he? Because his voice is careful, as if he’s afraid to spook him.

“I don’t care,” Jungkook lies. Because he really does care. He doesn’t want everyone to know. Because it makes it too real, and for now he still can pretend it hasn’t happened.

He wishes for it to stay that way.

Hobi doesn’t push him more, and a tense silence moves between them. Jungkook wishes he could go back to his previous good mood about his friends’ happiness, but he’s back where he was last night. Somewhere in the dark of his own mind.

Not a good place to hang, if he’s honest.

He already knows he’s going to see you when he reaches the studio. Somehow, it still makes his heart constrict in his chest, that same way it did last night. As if someone is clenching their fist around it, and it makes it harder to breathe. He shrugs it off, taking a deep breath to calm down, before looking around.

Everyone but Heather is already here. And no one is looking at him, no one seems surprised or seems to be pitying him. You don’t even act like you noticed him entering – you take off your sweater, dropping it in a corner of the room with your phone and your keys. He hates it, but his eyes follow the curves of your body, and he wants to curse you for only wearing a sports bra.

Your body is lean, the results of dancing for most of your life with a mother that used to be a ballerina. Jungkook is pretty sure she’s controlled everything you ate growing up, and drilled it so hard into your head that you can’t stand bad food now. He remembers, when you were younger and someone brought cake to practice to celebrate a birthday, you always barely took a bite before saying you were full. You claimed you didn’t like cake, but he always noticed the way you eyed it while everyone else ate.

He used to make fun of you for it, and today he knows he was an asshole. All he can hope is that your relationship with food is better now. And it looks like it is – you’re not as thin as you were before. You look healthy, and your skin and hair are glowing.

It takes him a few good seconds to realize he’s staring, as if something about you has changed. And he doesn’t know what changed, just knows that he feels struck.

You notice him staring, and you furrow your brows. “What are you looking at?”

It’s said aggressively. As if you’re angry. He only then realizes that you might be, and maybe that’s why you ignored him outside. He can’t for the life of himself figure out why you’d be angry – did he say something yesterday?

“Nothing,” he replies, and he looks away as his heart beats out of his chest.

You act like that for the whole of practice. For all the pity looks Heather throws his way, you send twice as many glares. It feels like last night never happened, and maybe it didn’t. Maybe it was just a nightmare, and he never told you everything.

He knows you know though, because whenever he puts too much weight on his leg as he demonstrates the movements he has in mind, you clench your jaw. A muscle feathers under your skin, and then you look away. Shame passes on your features, and then it’s gone to be replaced with a scowl.

He’s getting tired of it by the end of practice, so he pulls you aside to talk. Jiho stubbornly stays next to you, until Hobi walks up to her and asks if he can talk to her, probably sensing that Jungkook needs some time alone with you.

You both glare at each other while the others filter out, wishing you good night. Jungkook hears Scottie teasing Lance about meeting up with a girl, and the last thing he hears is Lance telling him to fuck off before everyone is finally out.

It takes almost twenty seconds before you blink and say, “What do you want?”

“What’s wrong with you?” he asks, folding his arms on his chest as he cocks an eyebrow.

You scoff. “With me? Nothing. What’s wrong with you?”

Do you know or do you not? He’s a little confused as you just look at him, clearly expecting an answer. He’s dumbfounded – the last thing he expected from telling you everything was you being furious at him.

“Did I do something wrong?” he asks.

It’s just a back and forth of questions at this point, with no visible answers in the distance. Indeed, you just say, “Do you think you did something wrong?”

It’s absurd, and it makes him laugh. Which, he reckons, might be taken as insulting. And of course you take it the bad way, because how else would you take it?

“You’re so fucking oblivious,” you grumble.

He’s still laughing. He wants to stop, but for some reason he cannot.

“What’s so funny?” you enquire, and your cheeks are turning red.

“Just,” he starts, “I don’t know. The last thing I expected from last night was you getting angry at me.”

You roll your eyes. “If you were looking for pity you won’t get any from me.”

That’s the thing. He doesn’t want any pity from you. And you saying so makes something warm blossom in his chest, and it sobers him up. His face falls serious, and he holds your gaze long enough that you raise your eyebrows in question.

“Thank you,” he says.

You scoff. “You’re fucking weird, Jeon.”

He shrugs. “That’s why you like me, uh?”

Your eyes widen, and you look so appalled he just starts laughing again. “Quite the opposite actually,” you say even though he’s laughing. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I don’t know,” he repeats. “I’m just relieved you haven’t changed.”

He really is. You have no idea how much.

“Okay?” you let out, and it sounds like a question. You scoff again, before adding, “Why didn’t you reply to my text?”

Oh, so this is what it’s about. You’re upset because he ignored your text. It feels absurd and stupid and inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, so Jungkook just smiles and shrugs. “I genuinely don’t really want to talk about last night. I’m all okay today.”

And he does think he is, now that he’s talking to you.

You remain silent for a while, pulling at some dry skin on your bottom lip. You then brush a strand of hair that’s fallen from your ponytail behind your ear, nodding your head. “Understood. Won’t be nice to you again.”

“Oh please,” Jungkook teases. “You can’t resist it.”

He’s happy. The more he talks to you, the happier he is. He feels like he’s floating, and he wishes you’d both stay right then and there, in the studio, until the end of time.

He hasn’t felt so light in forever.

“Oh, I can, Jeon.” You fold your arms on your chest, imitating his posture. “Watch me.”

But there’s a teasing glint in your eyes, probably awakened by his own teasing demeanour.

“I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your text,” he apologizes, because he feels like he needs to clear the air with you. He doesn’t want you to be upset with him anymore. “I genuinely didn’t know what to say, and I figured I was going to see you tonight anyway.”

You look away for the first time in the conversation. Your eyes move down, and he’s pretty sure you’re looking at the scar on his stomach. It makes it itch, and if he weren’t with you, he’d scratch it. But he resists, offering you a tight-lipped smile as you look up at his eyes again.

“Well, forget I suggested coffee then,” you say. You wink at him. “I’ll start being a bitch again now.”

“Please do.”

You look startled. “You want me to be a bitch?”

He laughs, scratching the nape of his neck. “No.” He scrunches up his nose, thinking really hard about what he wants to say. Only he doesn’t know what to say. He feels like he’s never talked to you before in his whole life. He can barely remember breaking down in front of you not even twenty-four hours ago. “Yes? Just be your same usual self.”

“Noted,” you say, nodding your head forcefully.

It’s cute, and it makes your ponytail swing behind you. He has half a thought to reach and pull on it, just to annoy you, but he resists.

Instead, he looks around, before resuming his attention on you. “Just, one thing.”

You hold his gaze, cocking an eyebrow in question as you purse your lips. “Mmh?”

“Please don’t tell the others,” he says. It’s a little more serious than he was just a second ago, but he feels like it’s needed to get the point across. “I’d prefer if they didn’t know.”

The corners of your lips stretch into a small, soft smile. “I didn’t plan on telling anyone. I figured you’re the one that should tell them if you want to.” You glance towards the door, and you’re not watching him when you add, “I think Bridget told Heather though. And I don’t know if Heather will remain silent”.

He doesn’t care if Heather tells the others. He just doesn’t want you to do it. It makes no sense, but at the same time it makes all the sense in the world to him.

“Yeah, I think she knows too.” He pulls at his piercing, letting out a small sigh. “I’ll talk to her.”

You nod, and the room falls silent. He wishes he had more to tell you, but it seems you’ve run out of conversation topics, because you eventually wet your lips and say, “Well, I guess I’ll be going home now”. And then you laugh, shaking your head. “I was supposed to leave with Jiho, but I’m pretty sure she’s gone with Hobi.”

“Hobi talked about her for like an hour before we got here,” Jungkook admits, relieved that you provided a topic. “They’re going on a date tomorrow.”

You smile, widely, and he reckons you’re like him. Your friends’ happiness makes you happy, and happiness truly looks good on you. It makes your eyes sparkle, and you look like a kid who’s just received the perfect gift on Christmas morning.

“I know!” you yelp, taking him by surprise when you even clap your hands. “They’re going to the restaurant I suggested.”

There’s something warm in Jungkook’s chest. It just becomes stronger and stronger the more he looks at you, and it makes him feel wary. Enough so that he looks away and tries to tame it down.

“I hope everything will work out for them,” he says, and he scrapes his throat because the warmth is choking him up now.

“I’m sure it will”, you reply, confidently. “Jiho has been into him for like three years now.”

Jungkook feels bad for her, because three years ago Hobi was still with his ex. But it seems patience makes miracles, because she’s getting a date with Hobi now, isn’t she?

It makes Jungkook realize that sometimes, the right person for someone might have been around all along. They’ve just been blind to it. Now, that’s a thought that makes him want to get out of this room. To flee this cloud before it breaks, and he meets your gaze.

You’re watching him already, with a wistful look on your features. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

He hates it. Hates everything that your little sentence makes him feel, so he just nods his head, before saying, “It’s getting late, I should hurry if I want to catch the bus”.

Your eyes widen. “I’ll order you a Lyft, come on.”

“No!” he refuses. “It’s all good.”

“But it’s late,” you insist, and you bend down to grab your phone on your sweater.

It offers Jungkook a straight view to your cleavage, and he freezes, right as pink dusts his cheeks. “I swear,” he reassures you, adding your name before continuing, “I’d rather take the bus. But thank you for the offer.”

You fake-glare at him. “Right, I’m supposed to be a bitch anyway.” You fold your arms on your chest, cocking an eyebrow arrogantly, and you look just like you’ve always looked when you say, “What the fuck are you still doing here? You’re wasting my oxygen.”

It makes the both of you laugh, and Jungkook just shakes his head. “Please, I know you love looking at me.”

You look offended, somehow, and you scoff. “I’d rather gouge my eyeballs out of my head instead of having to look at you for a second longer.”

“Ouch, that was rough.”

“You deserved it.” You shrug your shoulders, before motioning at the door in a swooshing motion. “Now, go lick your wounds somewhere else.”

“Aren’t you leaving too?”

You glare at him now, and you’re so good at it he almost thinks you’re angry. “Why, do you want to walk me home?”

His mouth falls open. Would you let him walk you home? For some reason, he’s pretty sure you’ll punch him if he even suggests it. So instead, he chooses to say, “And suffer the whole way? Nah, I’m good.”

It’s a low-key mention of his injury. You immediately catch on to it, and Jungkook hates the look that takes over your features. He thought that you didn’t have pity for him in you, but it seems you do. You do and it feels like the fist around his heart is back, and the air burns a little.

You seem like you want to say something, but he’s quicker than you.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Jungkook.”

“No, I’m serious, don’t you fucking look at me like that.”

And just like that the light atmosphere shifted back into darkness.

You scoff, shaking your head. “And here I was starting to think that you’re a decent guy. Never mind, Jeon.” You scoff once more, and the corners of your mouth are pulled down in a look of pure disgust. “I’m going home.”

He lets you go. He doesn’t even look at you as you pick up your stuff and leave, not once glancing back.

No matter how enjoyable this interlude in your usual relationship was, Jungkook prefers the usual hate. It’s safer, more comfortable, and a habit that protects him from the vulnerability.

Why then is he staring at your text two hours later in his bed at home, unable to fall asleep, wishing he didn’t say what he did?

In all truth, he knows why, he just doesn’t want to formulate the thought. Doesn’t want to give it the power to exist in the confines of his brain. So he ignores it, shoves the warmth in his chest so far down in the hole occupied by his lost dream that he can’t really feel it anymore.

Only then does he feel safe again, but he still can’t fall asleep.

He hopes you’re not struggling with insomnia as much as he is.

Thursday, June 28th

The auditions for nationals are in a week. Seven days, and you’re still not sure you’ve mastered the choreography well. You’re anxious – have been for weeks now – and all you want is to lie down on the floor until everything is over.

Which, coincidentally, is what Lance has been doing for the last fifteen minutes, claiming he needed a break from Jungkook. Because Jungkook is worse than Hobi, making you repeat the choreography for stupid unnecessary things like Jiho’s hair was in her face or Scottie’s shirt rode too high while he was doing a certain move.

In May, when you learned about what happened to Jungkook, you had a few days of feeling bad for him. Wishing you didn’t get in a fight with him during that dance practice, wishing your relationship with him wasn’t just hateful.

It feels like there’s been too much history between you for it to ever change. Because you saw a glimpse of something else, for a few minutes that night. Jungkook was more open, calmer, and his expressions were set in a softer look. It was easier to be around him, more enjoyable, and you wished for a fleeting moment that it could last.

Alas, it only lasted a few minutes before he moved back to the harsh look he reserved for you, only because he assumed you were pitying him. Which, maybe you were. You don’t know. It’s hard to tell when you haven’t been through what he has, and when you can tell he suffers.

But you’re not sure if it’s pity or concern. You don’t think he can tell the difference either.

“Lance,” you grumble as you finish the choreography, heart beating out of your chest. “Get the fuck up we need you.”

Lance mumbles something incoherent, before turning his head away from where you’re glaring at him. It makes you look up to catch Jungkook’s gaze, and he immediately looks away the moment your eyes meet. He’s been doing that a lot now too. Where he used to glare at you or smirk insufferably, Jungkook just ignores you.

You don’t think you like it. But you’ve gotten used to it over the course of the last few weeks, so you just roll along with it now.

You’ve kept his secret safe. You thought it would be hard, especially to hide it from Jiho, but after a few days it just became normal. Jiho has more to tell you about Hobi anyway.

Because they’ve found time to go on dates every week since then. Sweet dates, with him picking her up and bringing her flowers and doing things that he knows make her happy. Even at dance practice, everyone can see how they are sickly into each other. You’re happy for Jiho, you really are, but it’s starting to feel a little lonely.

At least you’ve got Jo and the other girls now too. You’ve met the mysterious Kiko now – a sweet girl with the voice of an angel – and your girl’s nights with Jiho have turned into Thirsty Thursdays. You haven’t understood the meaning of the Thirsty yet, considering all of them are dating now, but you just roll along with it.

It’s led to fun nights, and that really is the only thing that matters, right?

Tonight makes no exception. Jiho, Heather and you have dance practice until 10 pm, and then you’re supposed to meet with the girls at a bar on their side of town. Which means you’re already dressed up, though you put on a sports skirt to avoid showing off your ass to the rest of the boys. Not that it would matter – Scottie is not interested in women at all, Lance only has eyes for Chaeyeon now, Hobi is way too respectful for that and Jungkook doesn’t even look at you anymore.

You scoff, glancing away from Jungkook to settle your gaze back on Lance. “Get up,” you repeat, before walking over to him to kick him in the ribs. “Or I’ll tell Chaeyeon how much of a loser you are.”

He fakes offence. “Me, a loser? Nah, we’re going to win this shit.”

The sudden confidence is a boost to everyone’s mood, and soon enough you’re back to dancing, with a much-needed vigor. It’s enough that Jungkook lets you go after you’ve done the choreographies two times more, telling everyone they did a good job.

“Same time Saturday,” he says.

You think you notice him looking at you in the mirror, but as soon as you turn your head in that direction he’s already glanced away, focusing himself on typing something on his phone.

“We know,” Lance says jokingly, before punching Jungkook in the shoulder.

Jungkook snickers, and he deadpans, “You were two hours late last week because you were too busy with your girlfriend”.

“Can’t blame me,” Lance says, shrugging his shoulders. “Chae comes first, the rest of you can suck it up.” It’s cute and endearing, and your heart feels warm as Lance glances your way. You have no idea what brings him to think of that, but he scans the whole room before suggesting, “We should rent a cottage. After the auditions. We should all get shitfaced for three days straight.”

Hobi laughs from where he’s standing next to Jiho. “Scottie is too young for that.”

“Hey, I’m twenty-two!” Scottie exclaims. “I can get shitfaced.”

“You’re a baby,” Heather puts in. “Just accept it. I refuse to acknowledge the fact you are major now.”

Scottie rolls his eyes, placing a sassy fist on his hip. “Then sucks to be you because I am, and I’m going to get shitfaced with Lance. Right?”

Lance has a large grin on his lips. “Damn fucking right.”

“As long as we get a cottage with a hot tub I’m in,” Jiho says innocently. Hobi cocks an eyebrow as he looks at her, as if he didn’t just say Scottie can’t go. “What?” Jiho adds, shrugging her shoulders. “A cottage weekend does sound like fun.”

It does. It really does. You haven’t gone to the countryside in years now, and you can already picture a cute, picturesque cottage on the side of a lake, with a long quay you can lie on and stargaze. The cottage has a fireplace, a circle of rock in the middle of which flames burn at night until they turn to embers and you roast marshmallows on it. You can almost feel the warmth of the hot tub, and the laughter of friends seems to almost overtake your ears…

Yeah, you’re due for a trip out of the city.

“I want marshmallows,” you say, sighing dreamily. “I haven’t had marshmallows since like…”

“Since the camping trip when we were thirteen? When Jisung got shit on by that seagull?”

You burst out laughing at the same time as Jiho does, right as the memory comes back to you. It had been a fun camping trip, with Jiho’s parents renting a camper. They had invited you along on their trip, and you had gone to the beach with them.

Good memories indeed.

Your laughter recedes, and you notice everyone is looking at you. Even Jungkook. His eyes are a little widened, as if he’s surprised, and there’s a light flush on his cheeks when he looks away.

It’s the strangest sight to see, and you’re unable to shake the feeling away while you get ready with Jiho later to rush to the bar where Jo and the others are already waiting for you. Jiho notices your unease as she applies your eyeliner.

“What’s up with you?”

“Nothing,” you immediately say, way too fast for it to sound casual.

She just cocks an eyebrow and keeps applying the makeup. At least she has the decency to ignore the blush that creeps on your cheeks.

“It’s just…” you sigh, and turn your head when she starts to work on your second eye. “I don’t know.”

“Jungkook?”

You want to kill her for knowing you so well, so you remain silent, choosing peace over violence.

“I’m going to say something right now that might make you want to kill me,” Jiho says, lips pursed.

“I would advise not saying it,” you mumble and she playfully pats your cheek.

“Don’t move.” You pout, but obey nonetheless. She continues working in silence for a time, before saying, “I know about the accident”.

Your heart stops in your chest, and you’re pretty sure all colours have drained out of your features. You still try to play it cool, saying, “What accident?”

“February last year? Jungkook got injured, then ghosted us. Ring a bell?”

You can’t really pretend you don’t know what she’s talking about, can you? “How do you know?”

“Hobi told me,” she admits. “He made me promise to never talk about it, but he mentioned you knew already.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t blame you for not telling me,” she reassures you, having sensed your discomfort. “Actually, it tells a lot about your relationship with JK that you respected his decision.”

You scoff as she pulls the eyeliner away from your face, putting it down on her vanity to grab her La Neige lip tint. “My relationship with Jungkook? We’re not even friends.”

“Why though?”

It’s a good question that just pisses you off further. “Because he’s a dick. He told me about the accident and got angry at me for looking concerned and then he started ignoring me.” You chuckle bitterly. “It’s not like I’m going to try and make him talk to me. I don’t give a shit about him.”

Jiho is silent for a long time. Far too long for it to be normal. Like she doesn’t believe you at all and is waiting for you to realize. You’re just as stubborn, so you don’t say anything as she puts the lip tint on her pretty lips.

It makes for an awkward two minutes, but she’s the one that breaks first. “You don’t believe that.”

You furrow your brows. “Why the fuck would you say that?”

She laughs. Not in a mean way, probably just because your cheeks are burning and she believes she can read you like the back of her hand. “Because you don’t believe that.”

You fold your arms on your chest, sitting back in the chair she’s forced you to sit in while she did your eyeliner. You remain silent once again, clenching your jaw as you choose not to get upset. You’re not sure it works, and Jiho just playfully punches you on the shoulder.

“Calm down, babe,” she says. “He’s changed.”

“He’s still an ass with me,” you point out. “He’s changed with the rest of you guys, but he’s even worse with me. He’s been completely ignoring me for weeks.”

“Because he’s scared of what you think about him.”

“He doesn’t give a shit about what I think of him? He’s made that clear enough.” Jiho goes back to her infuriating silence. And you don’t want the conversation to keep going in that direction, so you ask, “How has it been going with Hobi anyway?”

She flushes red as she always does whenever Hobi is mentioned. “Do not think this conversation is over,” she says, threatening you with the lip tint bottle. “But it’s been…” She chuckles. “It’s been great. I think we’re pretty much official now.”

It’s disgustingly cute. It makes you think of Lance and Chaeyeon, of Heather and Bridget, Jo and Taehyung and Kiko and Yoongi…

It makes you feel lonely, like Lance did earlier. It’s a feeling you’ve grown accustomed to growing up, so it’s easy to let it slide over you instead of letting it fester inside.

“Look at you,” you say teasingly. “Who knew you’d pull your lifelong crush?”

“Lifelong?” she snickers. “I’ve had a crush on him for like two years.”

You throw a no-bullshit look her way.

“Okay maybe three…”

It makes you both laugh, and it diffuses the situation that was escalating just a moment ago. You’re relieved, because you’re pretty sure if she mentioned Jungkook just once more you would have blown up in her face.

You take shots downstairs with Jisung and Felix before going, and you giggle in the Lyft on the way to the bar the other girls chose. As per usual, you’re the two last to get there – fashionably late is the way to go, right?

It takes you way too long to realize girl’s night will in fact not be girl’s night. Yoongi is the first you notice, maybe because he’s looking at the exit when you walk in, as if he’s just waiting for the right time to bail. He nods as he sees you, and Kiko turns. She smiles her shy smile, the one that doesn’t show her teeth, and she nods as well, almost a copycat of her boyfriend.

Then it’s like a domino effect, and everyone turns to look at you. Nine pairs of eyes, all on you: Jin, Valeria, Taehyung, Jo, Bridget, Heather, Kiko, Yoongi and Jimin. The latter offers you a secretive smile.

You might have been texting him a little. Nothing serious, but he does appear in your dms once in a while, replying to a story you posted. You always decided to ignore him, only liking his replies, but tonight there’s something in the way Park Jimin is looking at you, sitting there, that makes something warm trickle down your spine.

Maybe because of your conversation with Jiho. It’s hard to tell, and your best friend pulls you towards the rest of the group before you can figure it out. The feeling only increases tenfold when you stop next to the table, and Jimin gets up to greet you, quickly followed by the others.

You hug everyone, and Jo holds you a second longer. “Sorry for inviting the rest, Tae begged and I figured…” You pull away from the hug, and she does have a sheepish look on her features. “Thirsty Thursday doesn’t mean no men?”

You laugh at that comment, shrugging your shoulders. “It’s fine, don’t worry.”

And really, you don’t mind. You like hanging out with them all. You’re relieved they didn’t think to invite Jungkook though, because one thing you’ve figured is that, where Jimin goes Jungkook usually follows.

The night starts off with talking and a few drinks with the group, until you find yourself intoxicated more than you have initially planned to. It doesn’t really matter – you have a day off tomorrow at the internship. Indeed, it only goes from Monday to Thursday, since the lawyer you follow takes the day off on Fridays for the whole of summer.

So you drink, and when they clear a spot for the dancefloor, you let Jiho pull you to it. Let her dance with you, like you usually do when you’re trying to get a guy’s attention. You reckon she’s drunker than you – she’s a giggly mess and she keeps stepping on your feet, which she never usually does. It’s fun, and you feel some anxiety peel away from your skin as if you’re an onion and someone’s about to cut you up to pieces.

You do feel like somebody is about to cut you up to pieces when Jimin moves closer to you, and the smirk on his lips sets something on fire inside of you. Or maybe it’s the alcohol. It doesn’t matter because you pull away from Jiho to move closer to him, almost instinctively.

It’s like he fits like a glove. You face him, throwing your arms around his neck to pull him into the dance as his hands find your waist. One of them slips to your back, and he presses you against him as you move to the music, the rhythm a sensual dance between the two of you.

“Hello, you,” he purrs, and you look up at him.

“Hello,” you reply in the same tone, and he makes you spin until your back is facing him. He’s impossibly close and as his hands guide your hips, your eyes trail up.

You entirely stop moving when your gaze meets Jungkook. He’s standing near the door, clad in different clothes than earlier today, but in that same black shade he seems to adore. He also has a chain, with large links that give a rougher vibe to him.

The look on his features is rough too, especially as Jimin leans to speak into your ear. “I thought you might want to piss him off.”

You chuckle, turning your head to gaze at the man behind you over your shoulder. It brings your face way too close to his, and you have to resist the lava in your blood that makes you want to close the gap.

It’s the self-destructive kind of magma, and you don’t feel like indulging in it. Instead, you purr, “Why do you think I’d want to piss him off?”

Jimin chuckles, and you turn your head away from him because damn him, his lips really are inviting. “He’s been a little shit at home. I assume he’s been that way with you too.”

You laugh, and it’s bitter, angry. It surprises even you. “He’s been ignoring me.” You turn in Jimin’s arms, until you’re facing him. You keep your head hung low, enough so that he can’t lean down and press his lips against yours. Jimin is a gentleman though, you know he’d never kiss you without asking for consent first.

“Explains why he’s been a little shit then,” he says matter-of-factly. He straightens a little, putting a comfortable distance between your faces.

“And you think this little show is going to piss him off?”

He smirks, tilting his head to the side. All the while he’s been making you move to the music, and you know to outside gazes you look like you’re flirting. Can planning to piss Jeon Jungkook off count as flirting?

“Oh, I know it will,” Jimin says, shrugging his shoulders. “Jungkook wears his emotions on his face.”

Maybe he does. Around you, his emotion is usually mostly contempt, so you don’t really know.

“What do you gain from pissing him off?” you ask, and you genuinely wonder. What is Jimin trying to do?

“Nothing,” he admits. He purses his lips, before offering you yet another dashing smile. “Mostly I just want to see what he’ll do.”

Jimin pulls you a little closer, and his forehead presses against yours.

“What are you doing?” you murmur, as your heart beats like a hammer against your ribcage. Hell, even if you’re not really into Jimin like that, he’s Park Jimin. You don’t think anyone in their right mind could stay indifferent to him.

“He’s looking right now,” he replies. He chuckles, before saying, “Now, let me tell you what you’re going to do”. His lips move so close to you it feels as if your brain is short-circuiting in your head. “You’re going to act as if I’ve just offended you, and you go to the bathroom.”

“Why?”

“He’ll follow, and maybe he’ll finally…”

Jimin never finishes his sentence. Someone bumps into you, and it breaks the contact between you and him. Instead of pulling you back in, Jimin motions towards the bathroom, offering you an encouraging smile. You’re stunned for a moment, and you hope it does the trick. You hope you really do look offended, because in truth, you were enjoying Jimin’s proximity.

You don’t like that you were. It feels like you shouldn’t be enjoying his proximity at all. He’s not even really your friend anyway.

You don’t have a choice but to follow his advice though, and you turn around, beelining straight to the bathroom. You make your way through the crowd, scrunching up your nose in disgust at the sweaty guy your hand accidentally touched, and a few seconds later you finally find the line to the bathroom.

It’s a unisex bathroom, with three stalls that are currently all occupied. There’s a guy in front of you, and you glare at him as he smiles at you. He frowns, but it works and he turns back around. A stall frees up a little under a minute later, and you’re mindlessly watching a girl washing her hands when a large hand finds the small of your back.

You startle, and you turn around fully ready to knock some sense into whoever it is, until you see it’s Jungkook.

You freeze for a few seconds, and then let out a laugh as you realize whatever Jimin was doing worked.

“You and Jimin, uh,” Jungkook says bitterly, and his hand clenches into a fist where it falls at his side.

You cock your head to the side. “So you’re talking to me now?”

He plays with his piercing in silence, before scoffing. “I was never not talking to you.” You widen your eyes and let out a disbelieved laugh as you fold your arms on your chest. “I’m serious,” he adds. “I just…”

“Don’t even try to explain, Jeon, save your oxygen.”

He’s frowning now, and you reckon he probably has the same expression on his features that you have on yours. “I thought you said you weren’t going to flirt with Jimin.”

“That was over a month ago,” you point out. “People change, unless you haven’t noticed.”

“Oh, I know,” he says, chuckling bitterly. “But Jimin? There are dozens of guys in this bar, can’t you just choose someone else to fuck?”

You’re starting to see red. You feel it in the tremble that starts deep down in your core, before taking over the whole of your body. “I’m not going to fuck Jimin. He’s just a friend.”

“You dance with all of your friends like that?”

You turn away from him, hoping one of the stalls will be free now, but you’re in no luck. He grabs your arm, forcing you to turn back around. Your eyes drop to his hand on your arm. His fingers are gentle, way gentler than his features. “Fucking let go of me,” you snap. “I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t know what part of getting into an accident made you want to act like you’re just a fucking victim of everything around you but my life has nothing to do with yours. Why do you fucking care?”

He looks stunned. “I… What?”

His confusion douses your fury, and you furrow your brows. “What do you mean, what?”

“I don’t care.”

You don’t know who he is trying to convince right now. And you don’t feel like getting to the bottom of it with him. In fact, you really don’t like the look on his face, and you just want to put distance between you and him. So you roll your eyes, before saying, “Alright then, leave me alone, Jeon. I won’t dance with Jimin again.”

He doesn’t even look happy or relieved that you’re saying that. Instead, his features fall a little, moving from a frown to a sad expression that makes something stir in your chest. “I… If you want to get with Jimin, you can.”

Now, you really are confused. “You come here to be a little bitch about this all and now you’re saying it’s fine?”

He pulls at his piercing, and his eyes flicker to the man that walks past you, indicating that a stall must be free now. “Yeah. If that’s what you want, who am I to tell you not to do it?”

You don’t know. You have no idea how the conversation managed to take this turn, so you wet your lips, cocking an eyebrow. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I…” he trails off, shrugging his shoulders. “I was being a dick. You’re right, I should stop acting like I’m a fucking victim.”

Now, your heart really does ache in your chest. Because what you said was inconsiderate, and you don’t even really mean it. Not the way that he interpreted it though, that’s for sure.

“Jungkook…”

“No, it’s really okay,” he says. He still looks sad, but he offers you a tight-lipped smile. “I’m sorry.”

Just like that he’s walking away, and why are you following him? You stop him by grabbing his arm, just like he did to you a moment ago. You hold on to him longer than he did to you, because his skin is warm under your fingers. His tattoos didn’t take away the softness of his skin, and you don’t really want to let him go. Not just yet.

“I didn’t mean it.” You look him in the eyes as he turns just enough so that his gaze can meet yours. “I got angry.”

“No but you’re right,” he insists. “I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t know why I don’t like you talking to Jimin. You can do whatever you want.”

You let his arm go, albeit reluctantly. “If it can reassure you, I am not interested in Jimin like that. Like yes, he’s attractive, but I’m not really looking for a relationship right now.”

At that Jungkook laughs. It’s somehow melancholic, and you reckon you’ve brought his demons to the forefront of his mind tonight. “Jimin-hyung doesn’t do relationships, you’re in luck.”

“No,” you grumble, and you shut your eyes, as if you have to explain something to a thick-headed five years old. “I’m really not interested in Jimin. Like at all.” Your eyelids flutter open, and you catch the movement of Jungkook’s eyes as they snap away from you.

“Okay,” he lets out flatly. “I’m sorry I ruined it.”

He looks genuine. You’d be angry at him if he didn’t really look as genuine as he does right now.

“Nothing’s ruined, I promise,” you reassure him and you offer him a small smile. “I was tired of dancing anyway.”

The word ‘dancing’ has his gaze trail to the dancefloor, and he bites at his piercing before glancing back at you. “Oh.”

You realize this is awkward. Because what you said really seems to have upset Jungkook. And you can’t really blame him, it was low. The only thing is, you’re not close enough to him to make him understand. So all you can do when he says he’s going to head home is wish him goodnight.

You feel horrible as you watch him leave, and he’s only just crossed the doors leading to the world outside when you break into a small jog. You make it outside in a hurry, just to see he’s leaning against the wall next to the door.

He seems startled to see you, and you feel just as startled to see he hasn’t really left yet.

“I was wondering,” you let out, and you take a deep breath to steady yourself. “Are you going to come to the cottage? You didn’t say you would earlier.”

You have no idea why that’s come to your mind, but you’re just going to roll with it.

“Uh.” He glances down at his phone in his hand. “Am I even invited?”

You wet your lips, shrugging. “I mean, you’re part of the crew, of course you are.”

He holds your gaze for so long you think the Earth has time to revolve around the sun once before he speaks again. “Am I really part of the crew?”

You reckon he might need to hear it, so you don’t hesitate when you say, “Of course. We’d be nothing without you.”

At that the sad expression on his features melts away. It does so slowly, starting with his eyes. They crinkle at the corners, sparkling a little, and then it trickles down his face, until the corners of his lips tug upwards. It makes you smile too, and you just gaze at each other like that for a few heartbeats. It feels intimate, miles away from the usual bickering and hatred that you share.

It’s new, but it doesn’t feel scary. Jungkook doesn’t feel scary when he’s smiling softly.

“Yes, I’ll come,” he finally says.

It makes you blink, and it’s like the scene is coming back into focus. You realize there are a couple of people smoking a few meters away, and a soft breeze pushes the smoke towards you. You hate the smell, but somehow you can’t shake the smile from your lips.

“Good.” You nod once, and you glance towards the door. “I guess… I guess I’ll let you go home then.”

He nods too, and he tilts his head to the side. He’s surveying you with those big eyes of his. They shine with stars right now, as if his happiness brings the constellations to his gaze. Or maybe it’s just the reflection from the streetlights and car headlights, but it’s beautiful.

Jungkook has beautiful eyes.

“Just waiting for a Lyft,” he says, motioning up with his phone.

You worry at your lips, before flattening your skirt mindlessly. “Is it going to be here anytime soon?”

He looks at the rectangle of light, face falling serious. It takes him a few seconds, but then he nods. “Yep. Should pull up pretty much now.”

You glance at the two sides of the street, and sure enough a car slows down until it stops in front of you. “Alright then,” you say. “Good night, Jeon.”

You don’t usually say his last name like you said it just now. It feels different, in all the right ways that it can.

“Good night,” he echoes, tentatively adding your name at the end. “I’ll see you at practice Saturday?”

“Yes. See you then.”

You’re grinning like an idiot when you’re home later, thinking of the interaction. It felt refreshing to be with Jungkook like that. As if you can be friends.

You never imagined you would want to be friends with him, but somehow tonight you want it. It only doubles up when a series of texts appears on your screen, hiding the top part of the anime you’re watching in bed before going to sleep.

[3:02 am] unsaved number: lmaooi jmin saud i cockblocled him😂 [3:02 am] unsaved number: cockblocked* [3:02 am] unsaved number: sry im drunk

You laugh softly, turning on your back as you pause the anime. You go to the conversation, and you’re about to reply when he adds,

[3:03 am] unsaved number: plz ignorr this

You don’t hesitate when you save his number under his name.

Prev | Next

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What do we think of this chapter?? Enemies to lovers not too enemies anymore uh? Hope you liked it! Let me know what you thought!

Taglist: (strike-through means dumblr is not letting me tag you my bad)

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kaydens-agere · 10 months

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💻Chase Davenport Agere Moodboard and Headcanons Pt. 1!🧪

Headcanons are under the cut :) I might make more of these headcanons cuz RAH I LOVE CHASE SM SDJFKLSDF Also this post is so long im so sorry for yapping so much 💀

🪐GENERAL INFO 💻-Chase's little age is 2-8, though it can be a little older or a little younger depending on the circumstances. 🧪-He couldn't pinpoint a time where it began, but it became more prominent in his life after he got let out of the basement, and continued to become a bigger part of his life with each traumatic event (Betrayals, Near Death Experiences, etc)

💻-When it first begun, he immediately begun doing research and it concerned him at first, however, he managed to gain control and kinda suppressed it for a while, but with each every little thing that happened, he'd lose his grasp on that initial control. It scared him a lot, since he didn't want this side of him to be known to anyone. [more on this in the family section]

🧪-He can still use his bionics while he's small, but he has a harder time controlling them and they glitch more often (just like when he was actually a kid). Whenever he goes to put something in his mouth or chew it, he'll scan it first to make sure it's safe, sometimes he cares, other times he just puts it in his mouth anyway. If Chase stims using his arms, sometimes his molecular kinesis will glitch and knock things over or send them flying across the room, he's had to have someone disable it a few times.

💻-Chase stims a lot more often when he's small, he mostly just flaps his hands, he loves to pull his hoodie sleeves over his hands while he does it. He also does a lot of vocal stims, whether it's nonsense babbling or tongue clicking noises. He also loves to chew, he has a chewelry necklace that's pretty much attached to him while he's little, no one lets him take it off out of fear that he'll bite on something else that he shouldn't.

🧪-He loves to play with those kids science kits. He still retains most of his super intelligence so they're not as much of a challenge, but he likes the simplicity of them (this one was inspired by @paper--moons agere headcanons abt Peter Parker :))

🪐FAMILY 💻-His regression mannerisms became more apparent to other people after Sebastian. He swore to himself that he'd never tell a soul, but his family eventually did find out, whether he told them or if they figured it out themselves.

🧪-Adam and Bree knew about Chase regressing but they didn't have a name for it, all they knew is that he acted childish at times, especially after a stressful mission. They've become very receptive of each other, considering the fact that they lived in a basement together all their lives. Adam likes to give him piggy back rides and Bree plays tag with him (and even though she has super speed, she usually lets him win)

💻-Leo already knew what regression was, he's been around tumblr enough to get a good understanding (me fr) and has some friends that do it. He'd witnessed Chase's regression a few times before eventually asking about it, in which Chase told him. Leo is very supportive of Chase and lets him play with his action figures with him.

🧪-Telling Donald was... complicated. Donald noticed Chase's childish tendencies and always told him to knock it off. Chase did eventually explain it to him, and although he didn't quite understand it (and sort of didn't want to at the time), he eventually came around. He can still be a bit harsh towards Chase if he's regressed while he's meant to be working, but he's trying his best.

💻-Unlike Donald, Douglas was extremely chill about it. He had a feeling about it after reconciling with his family, and Chase telling him confirmed his suspisions. It pretty much went like this: Chase: So um... I'm an age regressor. It basically means- Douglas: I know. Chase: ... You do? Douglas: Uh, yeah. I could already tell, kid. It's pretty damn obvious, at least to me, anyway. Chase: Oh, alright. Um... any questions about it? Douglas: Nope. He didn't want to pry Chase with questions about it, but trusts him to come to him whenever he needs to, which has happened a few times. After Douglas moved into the penthouse in Centium City, Chase went to him more than a few times after having nightmares, or if he was simply missing his siblings or life in Mission Creek. They've shared a few nice moments on the terrace.

🧪-Tasha knows a lot more than she lets on. She let Chase explain it to her, but in reality, she knows a lot about it. She actually cares for a little herself, but has never told anyone about it [feel free to leave ur guesses as to who it could be :) /nf] She's kinda like one of Chase's babysitters if his main caregiver isn't available (Who will be revealed in the next part). She's very nurturing and makes it easy for Chase to let his guard down. [Not including Marcus or Daniel because Marcus wouldn't have had time to find out, and Daniel hadn't been in the picture for very long, so Chase wanted to hold off for a while]

okayy thats about all i can think of rn, ill probably do a part 2 cuz i have so many agere headcanons about this man, feel free to give me requests for hcs about different characters if you wanna :) ALSO to the person that sent me a request, dont worry im still working on it :)l

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starsunderwaterr · 1 year

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Comfort with the Idols + Agents! (pt. 1)

Hey guys! I really do apologize for the late posts. Trying to manage my time better. Not even gonna hold you all, my week's been pretty ass, and I think I can speak for all of us when I say that we could all use a little bit of comfort from our favorite cephalopods. Enjoy guys, love you ♡

I'll just be doing Squid Sisters for this part bc I am currently on a plane traveling home and I am off the extremely desired two hours bro

All characters are 18+

Minors DNI

Callie!

Welp

Girlie knows exactly when you’re upset

She can just read you that good because she’s the same way way herself

She can tell when you’re upset based on your body language, and she’ll do her best to be there for you

She’ll start by sending a few texts, but of course, it depends on the situation

‘Heyyy!! I noticed you were really off today and I just wanted to make sure you were feeling okay!!! (≧◡≦) ♡ let me know if there’s anything I can do to help!! ♡ ♡’

She doesn’t always want to press, but if you let her in, she’ll be all over you (in a good way)

Anything you need, she’ll get, and she means it

Water, candy, your favorite takeout place, a gun

In all seriousness, if you ask her to come over, she will bring a whole bunch of your favorite comfort things, go on a whole spending spree just for you so that you can feel better

She's definitely gonna make you something hot and warm, grab a blanket, and sit down with you on the couch to talk

Will take your hands and hold them with such gentle care omg>>>

Her hands are also super soft???? Like, girlie takes such good care of her skin

So she's holding your hands and she's just looking at you in your lil sad burrito

The softest voice, "Hey, it's gonna be alright. Tell me what's going on..."

You can't help but tell her, she's just so comfortable to be around

Halfway through telling her, you burst into a sob, and instantly her arms are around you

Will hold you gently but securely so that you feel safe

Will rub your back and kiss your head

Is like,,,, scarily calm but genuinely worried about you, especially because it's not every day that you break down in her arms

“It’s okay to cry, (Y/N). Just let it out. I’m here.”

Her voice is always so gentle and calming, and she’s surprisingly a good listener when things get serious

Holds you until you tire yourself out, and even then, she’s not going to let go unless you make the move or say so

And she’s really going out of her comfort zone for you, since she gets extremely antsy after sitting for long periods of time, so she really does care for you

Will stay with you for however long you need, grabs you anything you ask for

Will try to sympathize with you through her own stories and whatnot

“You don’t ever have to hide it from me because eventually I will figure it out anyways!”

Okay nah but like why is it actually cute when she threatens you like that

Causes your chest to swell just a tad

Will literally stare at you before saying like the sweetest/most adorable thing ever

"You know I'm really happy I met you. I know I don't say it enough but thank you for being my friend and so much more."

Will literally bring you to tears like-

You had a bad day but your girlfriend just swoops in and brings you a care package, cuddles, AND A HEARTFELT MESSAGE LIKE HUH??????

We fr love Callie, she a real one <3

Marie!

So, Marie is observant, but maybe not in the way you'd think

She will notice changes in your behavior, but she doesn't say anything until it concerns her (AKA when she can get enough evidence to tell that you are not normal HDSHHHD)

Will notice you get either really quiet or way too bubbly (even if you are naturally)

Eyes you suspiciously and will stare into your soul before then having her aha moment

“So there is something wrong, you just didn’t want to tell me.”

You can’t really keep a poker face after that, I’m afraid

She’ll stare into your soul and glare at you (lovingly, of course) with her arms crossed over her chest

“Come on, (Y/N). Can’t fool me with that crap.”

Will soften up though once you respond, especially if you try to push her away or get snappy

“You don’t have to tell me, of course, but… I am worried about you.”

If you want your space, she’ll leave you be, but she’ll check up on you after a few hours

She knows the importance of and loves her alone time, so if you want it, she will, by all means, give it to you

After a few hours, she stands in the doorway, knocking softly on the doorframe, “Hey (Y/N)?”

Marie is usually very dry and nonchalant, but she has some care in her voice

Will look at you with soft, saddened eyes as you’re in your little sad burrito, trying to remain as gentle as she can be

Walks over and just scoops you up, even if you're heavier than her, SHE'LL MAKE IT WORK OKAY-

Holds you in her lap and will cradle you close

and yes her face is bright red and she's embarrassed but she's doing this for you bro

Will gently stroke your head and kind of hum gently as she does

I see Marie as a sort of grandma type (I mean, Callie calls her one all the time-) so I can see her literally holding you and crotcheting or something while you just relax against her

Will occasionally mumble something about a stitch pattern and kiss your head, or she'll talk quietly with you as she does it and holds you

Might crack the occasional joke to try and cheer you up

Will be stitching you a little cat/bunny hat, will look back at it, then at you, then back at it again, then back at you and just-

"Yeah, you'll look reallll ugly in this.-"

LIKE MS. GOWRL-

Will give you a look like YOU DID SOMETHING LIKE WHAT-

It works tho bc girlie gets you giggling out of pure confusion and caught-off-guardness (yes, that's a word bc i said so)

She doesn't actually mean it tho, I mean, come on, you're her partner of course she thinks you're gorgeous

Obvi if you're really upset she won't say that, but her dry and emotionless humor is a love language she uses to try and cheer you up

She loves you fr fr <3

#splatoon #splatoon 2 #splatoon 3 #splatoon x reader #callie splatoon #callie x reader #callie x reader splatoon #marie splatoon #marie x reader #marie x reader splatoon #pls enjoy #shadow wizard money gang #we love casting spells #<3

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rosetterer · 5 months

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i think it's very good and important of oliver stark to point out that the buddie fandom has always harassed female actors for playing love interests as well :( this isn't just an attack on tevan and lou ferrigno jr, and this isn't a one-time thing either. it's a very clear trend and there is one common demoninator: it is and has always been about buddie shippers deliberately attacking everybody who "stands in the way" of buddie canonization. i've reached my breaking point with the fandom years ago because of this type of behavior. i'm sad to say that i'm not at all surprised that this is happening again, and i'm 1000% sure it'll keep happening with every new love interest until the show either ends of buddie is canonized fr. i'm a bit scared to say but out of pure unadulterated spite, i hope buddie never happens,,, This Is Not Love. buddie will never ever be the representation of a beautiful canon long-term queer ship to anyone because of all its vile fandom history. the hardcore stans have ruined and continue to ruin everybody else's experience. bleugh

Yeah, it was nice that he talked about the fact that the other actors have felt unfairly treated by some fans. And it would be a lie to say that that has not happened. I used to be one of those buddie fans who would go after every little theory and make it all about buddie and while I don't think I ever harassed any actor, I think and hope anyway, just kept it to myself. It was still wrong.

I'm sure it will continue. There is nothing you can really do about it, except stay positive and in the real world bc it is just a tv-show, at the end of the day.

I've tried to stay away from thinking that I hope Buddie doesn't happen bc of the way that some fans are but it is sometimes hard. Shipping is supposed to be fun, which is why I don't want to hate on it but yeah, I get where you are coming from.

There is a reason why I haven't posted pretty much anything related to buddie in a long time. I just can't deal with it rn and will only focus on the couple that we do canonically have bc it's part of this story and I will enjoy it. They are sweet as well 🥰 I've, at times, regretted joining the fandom bc of certain fans but I've been doing a lot of blocking which has helped a little...

So people, just step out of your bubbles every once in a while. It will do good for you.

#911 abc #bucktommy #evan buckley #buddie #tevan #911 on abc #911 #rose answers

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lixies-favorite-cookie · 25 days

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okay so lately I've been thinking to post like fluffs or something and I already have a lot of ideas. So, I wanted to ask if you have any tips for new writers? I've been really inspired by your works and I wanted to start posting as well. <33333 (I'm new to asks so I have no idea if I did this right 😭 but tysm <3)

Me?!?! Little old me for writing tips?!?! I'm actually so honored, thank you so much 🥹 I actually put a lot of thought into this and all the different things I've learned along the way, so I hope this helps! And if you have any more questions, feel free to ask!!

Read. Okay, so I know that this sounds so cliche, but reading is literally a lifesaver for writing. I read a lot of fanfictions that pertain to the fic I'm writing to see how others did it and help guide the way I do it. Does that make sense?? I hope so 😭 Obviously don't copy anything, but like for my newest fic (that's coming out hopefully soon if I can beat this writer's block!!) rewrite the ending in every lifetime, I felt really inspired by @.forlix's setup for her fics and @astraystayyh's when the snow falls, we fall apart for act 3 of it. It also really helps broaden your vocabulary and allows you to get a feel for certain ways to describe body movements, tones, and facial expressions (something I've always struggled with!!).

Punctuation. I've always been SO BAD at punctuation because I was never taught how to properly use it at my school. Also, when I'm writing, I never use it because my thoughts are so flighty I feel like if I stop to put a period or something, everything will leave me. SO, I will always make sure to copy and paste my work into a free punctuation checker like Scribblr (it's pretty good, though there are a few things it will miss), but the one I like the most is ChatGPT. Like, I'm going to be so fr, it has SAVED my ass, but the only thing is you have to paste whatever you want punctuation checked, and if you don't want Chat to change the way you say something, just in parentheses say (Can you punctuate this without changing any of my words please). This will still check punctuation and spelling but will fit your personal voice.

ChatGPT. I literally don't care what anybody says; this resource is useful asf. Like, I use it for synonyms, definitions, and if I don't know the word I'm trying to think of, I'll input something along the lines of "Chan (word) his arm around her waist, leaning down to press a kiss to her head." (What would a good word be for the (word) above?) It's SUPER helpful for getting stuck on words like that!!

Ask for help. Like, I'm so serious, I will ask many of my very amazing mutuals (quite often, I might add) about the way I worded something, if my poetic quips make any sense, which way I wrote something sounds better, bounce ideas off each other; honestly, just about anything I can think of that has to do with writing, I have asked the amazing @yongbun, @jeonginsleftcheek, and @luvtak. So if YOU need anything, always feel free to ask me or anybody else that you feel comfortable with :))

Feel it. Okay, so this is helpful for getting stuck on really deep emotional scenes. I would get so into trying to make it look pretty that I didn't get down into the actual emotions. It's really helpful to just set your computer down, shut your eyes, and imagine the scene. Feel everything they feel—the anguish ripping inside their very soul, the way it feels like an earthquake has just ruptured in the base of their spine, the universe seems to be tearing apart with every breath they take. I don't know, just me personally, I love anything that pertains to the soul and super dramatic emotions. It makes me feel a lot less alone about my deep emotions :)

Writer's jealousy. I had to write something about this because being an artist, you are always going to see somebody better than you, and that can cause some really nasty conflict inside of you. Sadly, there is nothing I can do to stop that, but I can say really try not to let it get to you and instead view it as a learning experience from those people and how they write. Also, never compare yourself to others because all writing, whether good or not, is your most vulnerable parts because it is unique to you. And also, try not to please everybody—I promise you won't be able to. The same way people pay millions for a piece of artwork, another person wouldn't pay a penny for; it's just simply the human mind, and that's okay. But this also ties into Write for yourself. Nobody else. Just yourself. When you're writing, try not to even think that somebody else is going to view it. It will allow you to write what you really want but also get you to be a lot more vulnerable.

The first draft is shit. I'm so serious, every single one of my first drafts has been shit, and that's okay. You just have to edit your way up to something readable. Like, if you don't like how you wrote something the first time, that's okay. The first draft really is just you telling yourself the story, while the second, third, fourth, fifth draft is you telling others the story lol.

I don't think that there is anything else, but if I think of something, I'll definitely add it!! I hope that this helped you at least a little bit!! Thank you so much for asking me of all people for writing tips; it did wonders for my confidence lol.

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sadquickchristmassnowman · 9 months

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hi! what do you think are the best/most tolerable episodes in season 4 of community? it’s widely regarded as the worst season and I never know which episodes to watch each time I go through a community rewatch binge lol. so, I figured I would consult the encyclopedia! (this is my first time using the ask feature so I apologize if I am not using it correctly)

heyo! this is a great question. I actually have an abbreviated season 4 watchlist that cuts out the worst episodes (in my opinion), while staying comprehensible and making sure you're still able to follow the season's overarching plots:

4x01: history 101

4x03: conventions of space and time*

4x05: cooperative escapism in familial relations*

4x06: advanced documentary filmmaking

4x08: herstory of dance

4x11: basic human anatomy*

4x12: heroic origins*

4x13: advanced introduction to finality

the episodes with asterisks* are the ones I actually really enjoy watching. the others on the list are pretty mid, but are, in my opinion, important enough to the overarching plot and character development to be worth watching. when I'm showing other people season 4 for the first time, I adhere to this watchlist lol.

I’m going to do some (hopefully quick) explanations of how I came up with this list, but you don't have to read it if you don't want to lol:

✅ history 101: it's the first episode of the season, so it really does set the tone and establish some important details (jeff wants to graduate early, troy and britta are dating, this is their last year at greendale, etc.) as with most of season 4, the weirdness seems really contrived and unnatural, but it does have its moments of being genuinely funny. it's also a pretty abed-centric episode, which is always a bonus lol

❌ paranormal parentage: I don’t hate this episode, but it's just kind of boring and doesn't really add anything to the season. I love megan ganz but... yeah. a lot of the jokes seem forced, and there's way too much pierce for my liking. there are a couple good one liners ("you should probably tell your boyfriend's boyfriend" "I remember when this show was about community college") and it does help set up jeff finally contacting his dad, but imo it doesn't quite make the episode worth watching

✅ conventions of space and time: I’ve heard that some people hate this episode? couldn't be me. way too much trobed for me to hate it lmao. there is a lot of jeffannie in it too, but that resolves with the conclusion that annie is just a romantic who loves to fantasize, and doesn't actually have real feelings for jeff. it actually fuels my lesbiannie agenda tbh, because she is evidently just in love with the idea of a man but doesn't actually put that into practice. but that's another post lmao. we have some great one-liners, we have britta helping troy through his jealousy, we have "troy will find me :)" we have some more inspector spacetime lore, etc etc. I love this episode and rewatch it frequently.

❌ alternative history of the german invasion: for me, this episode has almost zero redeeming qualities. the jokes are lame, I hate professor cornwallis, there is so much discontinuity, it has zero importance in the bigger picture of the season and the show, it's out of character, etc. the one thing I like is the end tag.

✅ cooperative escapism in familial relations: this is a big one for me. I never see people talking about it, but to me this episode is one of season 4's saviors. we have HUGE jeff development, jeffbritta moments, some much needed shirley screentime and development, some great jokes ("-to eat garbage dip WHY DID I HAVE TO GO THIRD), classic trobedison shenanigans, and the shawshank redemption homage is very funny to me. plus! adam devine cameo! I like this episode more every time I watch it. unsung hero fr.

✅ advanced documentary filmmaking: okay so I won’t lie, I fucking HATE the changnesia arc. I think it is so incredibly stupid and uncreative. there are a million different and better ways they could have brought him back. but, this episode is just too important in the season's development to skip. and, honestly, if I ignore the whole premise, there are a lot of funny bits and jokes in this one. troy constantly smiling at the camera (read: smiling at abed), troy and annie being the silliest ever, jeff's trust issues, and ken jeong is truly very funny, I just hate this arc so much. but ultimately it's too important to cut. imo.

❌ economics of marine biology: I basically feel the same about this one as I do about alternative history of the german invasion. it's boring, the premise is stupid, it's out of character, it's unfunny, the guest character is lame, and it's pointless to the overall plot. abed and the delta cubes is a little bit funny? and I guess you could argue that the jeff and pierce development is important? but I’d refute that very quickly. it's pierce, who cares. not. worth. it.

✅ herstory of dance: this episode is honestly the upper end of mid, but it has enough good jokes and development to make it worth it. it is also Very abed-centric, which we've established is always a plus imo, and his whole bit with going on two dates at once is very in character. he also meets rachel, who comes back in season 5, so that's important. it also has some great jeff & britta development!!! which is sort of few and far between in the later seasons!!! yippee!!!

❌ intro to felt surrogacy: tied for my least favorite community episode of all time. it's clear they tried to do something similar to what they did with abed's uncontrollable christmas, but it is so incredibly contrived that it is physically painful to watch. I hate the puppets. the hot air balloon story is so stupid and out of character. the songs are bad. how dare they sully the legacy of my third favorite episode (lmao). the only redeeming qualities are troy as a whole (all of his lines are good, and that moment when he pretends his puppet is falling asleep is very funny), and the fact that pierce is not physically in it. but those do not make up for how horrific the rest of it is. in my opinion. haha.

❌ intro to knots: once again! Tied For My Least Favorite Community Episode! they're right next to each other, how convenient. and again: bad jokes, bad premise, I fucking hate professor cornwallis, the changnesia shit is back, the plot is ALL over the place, there is little to no actual character development, the dialogue just goes in circles, and it ends with a random litter of kittens that are never mentioned again??? I guess the only mildly important thing is the end tag with the evil study group, which comes back during the season finale. but yeah. not worth it. disgusting.

✅ basic human anatomy: and here we have a HUGE jump from the last one. this is my favorite season 4 episode, and is probably in my top 15 from the entire show. I could talk about this episode for hours. the troy development alone is so so so good and important. add abed into the mix and Oh Boy!!! britta is great in this one, jeff and the dean's whole thing is so fucking funny, shirley and annie competing against leonard for valedictorian on a technicality is very in character and silly, danny and donald's acting in this one is commendable, etc etc etc. there really isn't much, if anything, I dislike about this episode. jim rash being the credited writer makes me love him even more. legendary. outstanding.

✅ heroic origins: I actually really like this episode. it does still have that sort of unnatural and off-putting vibe that the majority of season 4 has, but I think it holds up. it's in character, it has some great jokes and one-liners, and although it does have its moments of discontinuity, it does a surprisingly good job of staying compliant with what has already been established. certainly much better than alternative history of the german invasion. abed's whole bit with the star wars prequels makes me laugh, the annie's boobs lore, footage of annie and troy in high school (surprisingly well done if you ignore the discontinuity of troy's injury), etc. it's also massively important for the overarching season plot, and we finally get to the conclusion of the stupid changnesia arc. I could go on and on, there's just a ton of really cool callbacks (including one to the pilot, which I only noticed a few months ago and am obsessed with), and I just. wasn't expecting this one to work out as well as it did. pleasantly surprised, all in all.

✅ advanced introduction to finality: this one is not great tbh, but it's too important plot-wise to skip. and, I mean, it does have some good moments. abed immediately recognizing evil jeff, the whole thing being in jeff's head a la remedial chaos all being in abed's head (insert something about how this being yet another demonstration of how fundamentally jeff and abed understand each other, which I could expand way more on but won't in this particular post), season 2 of the cape, "one of us is out of bullets" "is it you" "...yeah" "why would you tell me that," and more. overall, yeah, worth watching imo.

I do also want to say that I think season 4 is a bit overhated. I do agree that it is the worst season, I think most of us can agree that that is an objective truth, but it does have its moments and I do get slightly frustrated when people write the entire season off.

I’m also happy to hear anyone else's opinions on what you think is/isn't worth watching in season 4, especially if you really strongly disagree with me. I’m curious to what your reasoning is lmao.

okay! this is definitely way more elaboration than you needed, but I hope this was helpful 💯💯💯

#sorry again for the long wait on a response #thank you for your patience :)#community #nbc community #community nbc #media analysis #community encyclopedia

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y-rhywbeth2 · 8 months

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@ladymer Putting this in its own post for space and tidier notes.

Really? I haven't seen him say that before.

I'm pretty sure he still has his soul and that Karlach is being metaphorical when she tells unascended Astarion that he kept it (or she's referring to the fact that it's still his and unbranded by "property of Mephistopheles" as souls are when you make a deal with the infernal.)

Making a deal with a devil at all corrupts your soul because it always involves doing something evil that shifts you towards the Hells, shown mechanically as an alignment change which may be instant or gradual. You are twisted towards the end goal of becoming like a devil yourself, the embodiment of cruelty, ambition, lust and tyranny - destined for the hells and likely to corrupt those around you and take them with you.

As ever, this isn't necessarily what Larian had in mind, but this is how I'm reading/headcanoning it, based on the D&D lore available to me:

I imagine it would cause the Vampire Ascendant to be what vampires say on the box, no nuance left:

"Dark Desires: Whether or not a vampire retains any memories from its former life, its emotional attachments wither as once-pure feelings become twisted by undeath. Love turns to hungry obsession, while friendship becomes bitter jealousy. In place of emotion, vampires pursue physical symbols of what they crave..."

With the traits of a devil layered on top (which is honestly pretty much exactly the same as the drives possessed by vampires):

"The psychology of devils can be summed up in a single word: Ambition. Almost every devil constantly wonders how it can win advancement [...] The cleverer devils invariable perceive themselves as cool, calculating, and abundantly logical. [...however they] act based on emotion, without regard for their true long-term self-interest. Devils enjoy inflicting misery - be it physical or mental - on others. They hate suffering defeat or humiliation..."

They're not necessarily "more" evil than any other vampire, but incapable of being more than their curse the way another vampires are theoretically capable of. They may not be soulless, but they might as well be. The inherent evil/corruption of vampirism is maximised and overrides any existing humanity. Violence is the highest pleasure. Power is all. They only see things (including people) in terms of possession, jealousy and envy. The way they experience love and other emotions is superficial and sometimes, due to their ego, obsessive (this thing/person is theirs, so any challenge to that claim is not allowed because it's an attack on them). etc.

What the Vampire Ascendant mostly reminds me of is Abyssal Ghouls - and more specifically the original 1e FR version from Lords of Darkness, which was Ghasts, another form of sapient undead "improved" by the Lower Planes, courtesy of demons. They're undead and partially fiends. They're more powerful than regular ghouls, naturally dominate them as leaders of the pack, and, in their Lord of Darkness write up, Ghasts cannot be repelled by the usual anti-undead means (you have to repel them using cold iron, as you would a demon), so they have a less weaknesses. They're extraplanar in nature (no longer considered native to the material plane, but to the Abyss) and their souls are likewise bound to the Lower Plane that made them when they die, so they're... kind of minor demons themselves, in a way.

Replace "ghoul" with "vampire" and "demon" with "devil" and it doesn't seem far off from being similar.

Devils are also known for their mortal-like lusts and desires (such as food, despite not needing it) - it'd be interesting if the source of the Ascdendant's newly restored "mortal appetites" was from becoming a devil (or partially one).

Ghasts were described as the "Hounds of the Abyss" used by demons to track quarry, and I imagine the Vampire Ascendant is serving this purpose for Baator (which is also very devil-esque):

"Powerful lawful evil mortals are often more valuable to devilkind as living beings operating on the Material Plane. When alive, they can bring about the damnations of hosts of other souls, or pursue other goals of the hellish hierarchy."

#Choosing the Dracula+ ending and not getting damnation in the package is incredibly boring imo #It's the usual deal: You bring victims back so that their souls can be consumed by your master. But this time you get a nicer cage. For now #One does not pick the edgy dead dove ending if one does not want darkness and angst #Or maybe some people do but I don't #headcanoning.#/ascended astarion #/astarion #edgelord hours #long post

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inchidentally · 10 months

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(sorry for editing to keep things out of tags) (also preface that I ship pretty much anyone with anyone but that car lando, land oscar and char los are by far my favorites)

ok first and foremost I have to laugh so hard at them choosing Lando and Oscar?? as "pure PR" when

car|ando is quite LITERALLY used as Formula 1 PR ?? the official accounts of Ferr/ari, Mc|aren, Carlos' personal socials, Quad|rant,LN 4, F1, TV networks, Netflix and DTS,the whole of the Vegas race and every. single. sponsor. use car|ando to boost visibility. that's not a commentary on the validity of their friendship at all but it is quite literally a PR bromance that rakes in views and engagement

let's all be honest here the Mc|aren media folks are still hardcore car|ando people and can only bring themselves to remember the land|oscar ship name once in a blue moon (I have mixed feelings about that but I'm also not a fan of containment breaches so ig I'm relieved one of my ships isn't used as social media corporate currency??)

people's biggest complaint/compliment (depending on who's speaking) for Oscar is that he doesn't play up for cameras the way Carlos and Daniel do and struggles at PR !! literally he was only a little bit better at this in Prema and only because he'd known most of those boys for 5+ years already and their audience was tiny!

every single comment from a non fandom F1 fan on land|oscar content is how unusually shy Lando is around Oscar or how Oscar needs to "come out of his shell" and "not make Lando work so hard"

and Daniel "Mr. F1 PR Department" Ricc|ardo????? are they seriously saying Lando and Oscar (who are still trying to figure out how much they can even casually touch each other) are PR when Daniel and dan|do ticks every single bromance box????

like who the hell but a twitter user who ships rpf like it's a government conspiracy would pick land|oscar out of all Lando ships for a fake or publicity friendship when they literally don't do any of the pretend gay stuff or the horseplay or the memes etc. that is literally the wildest take I've heard in yeARS

anyway as usual I thought creepily deeply into this and decided to spend my time unable to sleep typing an essay weeeeeeeeee

see I was mostly lurking part time during the dando era so I wasn't sure but fr why isn't there this "competition" between dando and carlando like there is with carlando landoscar?? dando was MAJOR gay fandom service by comparison and they've consistently spent more time together outside of racing weekends and hobbies than Lando and Carlos since Carlos has always spent most of his travel and downtime during the season with Isa and now Rebecca. Daniel and Lando go on little excursions together even now and he was with Lando much longer as a teammate than Carlos.

so for people who've left reality to the point of thinking these men are in a genuine secret gay romance competition for Lando… surely Daniel/dando should be the ultimate enemy number one?? especially when evidence immediately surfaced that Carlos' thirst posts on Lando's bday were his side of the thirst posts Rebecca did the same day from their holiday right after the Brazilian GP, whereas Daniel took Lando with him in a small group of close friends to the desert after Vegas. if I were someone who thought that all F1 girlfriends are "PR escorts" - or whatever bullshit is the latest sexist woman-hating theory of choice - then I'd be so mad at Carlos for "ditching" Lando for Rebecca and then Daniel posting not one but two beautiful, moody pics of traveling with him. forget that Lando only reposted Oscar's birthday post, surely Daniel posting on the account he only made because of Lando with a camera he only bought because of Lando pictures OF LANDO is the biggest source of betrayal !!

I just. cannot imagine wanting rpf to be this exhausting and enraging when you can just ship all of them and also not create conspiracy theories about girlfriends that keep getting disproved at every turn.

but yeah as anon #2 said it's not even like carlando are super close friends outside of F1 (as Lando himself said) the way George and Alex are but I don't see anyone in rages about galex or their irl relationships or saying they can't be shipped with any other driver?? maybe I just don't see it on my feeds but it's definitely not as big a deal as the carlando exclusivity stuff that's been bubbling up everywhere.

and exactly! as sweet as it is that Lando and Carlos pair up in the few moments the drivers are all doing media duties etc together it's also what every. other. driver. is doing with their buddies. sometimes they stand in larger groups but those moments are when they get to catch up with guys outside their own team. Oscar and Logan find each other every single time and a lot of that time they spend away from the other drivers. Max and Charles, Yuki and Pierre, Esteban and Lance etc etc. much as I would love it if this implied that all of these driver friends are suckin and fuckin their bros on the DL it's tragically not the case.

I feel like maybe?? carlando as a ship developed into part of the fans going larries level of problematic is because the Lando they watched with Carlos was so young and literally formed a lot of his F1 persona around Carlos. that version of Lando is basically a handy self-insert for fans worshiping Carlos.

as we know Carlos does NOT view himself as the number 2 driver even when he in every technical sense is. so it speaks to just how much of a little uncooked chicken nugget Lando was during their season together that Carlos has never once viewed Lando as competition and even now sees him as a lil cub kind of like Max V does with Lando. they're happy Lando succeeds but he's not classed in with the guys they really get pissed off with or perceive as threatening.

Lando talked here about how he spent a lot of that first season in F1 anxious about his performance compared to Carlos and his own future in F1 and that he largely had to work to put on a smiley face for the cameras. I actually think that entire first half of the clip is a great example of how the carlando chemistry came from Carlos being someone who loves being silly and laughing a lot in his time off the track and how convenient that was for Lando to help hide how much he was going through privately. when the media decided that Lando is meant to be adorable and silly all the time, someone as easy to get along with as Carlos was perfect timing. did nothing for Lando's actual personal struggle behind the scenes but it kept up a solid boundary between Lando and the media. I can't find it now but there's that old interview of Carlos being dismayed at Lando one day being sullen and quiet even when Carlos tried to joke with him - he was half kidding but Lando looked a bit uncomfortable and said "yeah I don't know why I'm like that sometimes". then it just got joked off as Lando being a moody teenager (which Lando visibly didn't really like).

so like, this is what their relationship has always been! Carlos represents a place Lando can go to and not have his demons or his problems follow him. and for someone who has always been used to physical affection, Carlos' lack of boundaries has always been extremely welcome as an endorphins boost.

but let's be honest here that's exactly the same super physically comfortable chemistry Carlos had even with Max and now has with Charles. I know the charlos of it all is probably a whole other hornets nest but fact is that to Carlos, Charles is equally a grown man to him and they can do the whole european buddies jokey flirting thing without it being weird. not the same as with Lando…

I've got to point out that when you look at comments not from fangirls, carlando as a "ship" is seen by F1 fans as big brother and baby brother or even dad and son relationship. this video was recently posted again from the stream where Carlos very firmly shut down people asking him to kiss Lando. whereas he'll jokingly ask Charles for a kiss and call him "darling" while being pretend domestic together. it's pretty damn clear that Carlos will joke about the bromance with Lando to an extent but Lando is The Baby and a little brother. Carlos wants to take care of Lando and he does not view him as a contemporary the way he does with Charles.

and considering Lando still suffers from the same anxieties and getting stuck in his own head, I've said before how I love that hanging with Carlos can still clear those cobwebs away. they can golf or just chat about any old bullshit and Lando can escape whatever is hanging over him for a while.

I truly do not know why people find that very real relationship insufficiently sweet and amazing and think that imagining them to be secret boyfriends is so much better ?? I mean absolutely rpf it the way I do for fun! but how bad does someone's gaydar have to be to think Carlos would have a single clue what to do with a penis that's not his own lfhajhfsa. American fans need to spend some time watching European friend groups and realize the insecure nohomo thing does NOT exist outside the US.

idk how many girlfriends have to get harassed or how far the media will push it before Lando or Carlos actually get sick of the whole ship thing but I think I speak for all rational carlando fans when I say that it's well past time to throw this whole conspiracy theory away. folks need to enjoy their friendship and ship them how you want for fun but don't push this thing to the point of even more discomfort. or worse make them change their behavior to get the focus off of them.

especially when you come to the landoscar of it all and deciding that it's a battle of the rpf ships. we've all seen those delusions in other fandoms result in baffling amount of hate that cross over into real life and how ugly it gets. carlando comments are already pretty out of control on Lando content that doesn't even remotely involve Carlos and it's bleeding onto McLaren content that involves Oscar.

I guess if I really make a few leaps in lofic then I can maaaaybe kind of see ? where that insecurity is coming from with those shippers. I do not understand it but if I had to guess it's possibly that we're seeing a totally different side of Lando than usual since he's been teammates with Oscar. and that for once, Lando's growth isn't dictated or based on his teammate being a big PR personality.

professionally he has said many times he's been pushed by Oscar into his own best F1 season yet. he's also matured a huge amount when it comes to his own failures and we've never heard him be so grown up and balanced as when he talks about how happy he is for Oscar and McLaren that Oscar got the sprint win before he did. that the "hurt" he feels over it is entirely because he is angry at himself for making mistakes. him doing the season farewell video and being able to ruefully joke but be genuinely proud of Oscar is so different from little Lando slumped and barely clapping during Carlos' departing speech or Lando looking out of it and a bit annoyed when Daniel would still try to do jokes after a particularly brutal result. Lando is behaving on his own terms in his own team now. he's The Guy.

Lando's grown UP. we're seeing a very finished article in him. and it's not because he's reacting to who Oscar is it's because Oscar's just letting him be. he's seen Oscar choose not to fake it or play up for the media and realized 'oh! I can be upset or depressed if I feel like it and not dance like a puppet when people want me to be fun and silly!'. he saw Oscar's urgency to prove himself after finally getting a seat and Lando realized that Oscar was just assuming that Lando would default be the superior! he saw Oscar backing away or leaving room for Lando to be the fan favorite and Lando's natural instinct was actually to let himself be quieter and take up only as much space as he wanted to! he's spent the whole season being asked to be an F1 global representative all on his own with no bromance attached and Oscar is there back at the garage or the McLaren motor home smiling and congratulating him like always!

in short, Lando suddenly has room and space to be whatever he chooses and Oscar has been open to any and all of it. they became immediate competition for each other without needing to hastily construct a friendship or bromance to negotiate it. Oscar shrugs off his own disappointments and doesn't gloat or overdo his achievements and oh! isn't it nice that he isn't expecting anything from Lando except respect! Lando doesn't have to navigate anyone else!

that's why I refer to them as sort of I guess a plantonic crush? I did this equally huge and weird post about this here. Oscar has admired Lando for a long time and Lando has absolutely loved having a teammate who doesn't view him as a baby or a kid brother. Lando is so intrigued by how calm and solid and strong Oscar is and Oscar still cannot quite believe Lando is right there in his life and as his teammate. the little cautious dance they're doing is absolutely precious but also because it's so intensely earnest. they both have such big long term plans for themselves and they are so happy to be working on those together that they aren't doing the whole let's find a schtick or do a bromance thing. if it takes them a long time to settle what their relationship is then so what!

and I guess for people who want to think that Carlos and Lando's friendship is 'superior' to every other relationship in their lives (as if Max F will ever be dethroned in Lando's life) it's got to take the already unstable mindset and upset it even more to see Lando personally growing into someone they don't really recognize and at least in some part because of Oscar.

because the carlando shipping that I see from these more extreme people (and I fully acknowledge they're a loud minority) basically eradicates Lando's agency and identity outside of finding Carlos hilarious or hot. they misinterpret Carlos being the authoritative role into Carlos being fully in control of carlando and Lando basically dancing to his tune and reacting to him. they never post the serious, slightly darker side of Lando because it's typically not associated with Carlos. unless it's Lando missing Carlos or upset that Carlos isn't around lol.

so I can only imagine that Oscar's arrival coinciding with a more mature and focused Lando who allows himself to want to be taken seriously and no longer spends all of his on-camera time screeching with laughter or flailing around is ummm not to the taste of those people. Lando still has screeching fits sometimes but he's overall a much calmer person and it's nice to know that when he laughs with Oscar it's always genuine since Oscar has no idea how to play up for laughs. it's probably why Those Fans are now aggressively posting Lando and Carlos doing the driver's parade together (again, among all the other paired off drivers lol) with "ALWAYS TOGETHER" AND "ALWAYS COMING BACK TO EACH OTHER" as if fate is trying to stop carlando from being the only thing that matters. because I guess in their minds, Lando can't just be believed when he says that Carlos is an F1 buddy the way other guys have F1 buddies and Lando can't grow up and have a personal best year without Singapore being solely about carlando and how Carlos took care of him (fuck off???? Lando would've gotten P2 or P3 anyway bc he had an excellent race??) and Lando won't be heard when he says actually Silverstone was his favorite race not Singapore because Carlos Carlos Carlos.

of course Lando can't have found a new kind of friend and teammate in a guy like Oscar who is wholly unlike Carlos in every single way imaginable because that would mean there are parts of Lando that don't suit Carlos and carlando. it would also imply that Oscar is a better teammate for Lando than Carlos was (which is true) and that oh no if Lando is no longer pining for Carlos to be his teammate again (he isn't and he said so) then that means Lando exists outside of carlando and that means they're gonna have to pile extra hard onto proving every single instance where carlando is still one of the most important things in Lando's life (it isn't and that wouldn't be healthy). it would also imply that purely platonic friendship between Carlos and Lando is basically pointless no no they've got to be fucking and in romantic love that's what makes them special not just the fact that they love being in each other's company and have full and happy lives outside each other.

I just.

reaalllly hope it all calms down soon and they leave Oscar out of this mess.

and thank FUCK Oscar's gf Lily has been fully accepted by landoscar fans from the start because the amount of vile hate and petty exclusion Rebecca is receiving makes it honestly a little bit hard for me to be ra ra carlando even just for fun right now.

will it stop me being carlando trash in the tags? no. but my conscience is cringing a bit.

#big shock I overthink things that in no way impact my life #I also had to spend a loooot of time considering how much I wanted to go into all of this vs it potentially getting me sht from ppl #hopefully it's too long for anyone to rly care about who might get pissed #inchreplies #wank adjacent

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yuri-is-online · 1 year

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Cat Got Your Tongue? (MMO AU: Leona Kingscholar x Reader)

Master Post for AU: (x) please read for overview and links to other parts.

a/n: Sure Leona says he doesn't like video games but this is my blog and I choose the au. I ended up having to re-write this because the original premise wasn't working but this fits Leona's vibe a bit better. Side note, but I am thinking I'll probably write a sort of part 2 for each of these once I am finished with each of the main "routes" since there was some stuff I wanted to include in this fic but cut because it didn't flow.

notes: They/Them pronouns used for Yuu, loosely inspired by Love is Hard for Otaku and crappy otome games, Leona is a junior and Yuu is a freshman in American college years, some mild Ruggie slander? (he's hustlin and bustlin) Not a lot of gaming in this one sorry.

Sometimes Leona really hates having a functioning brain. Maybe if he had been born comatose his family would have taken time to understand him. Hell maybe he would have understood them. And maybe, maybe if he’d been a bit more stupid, a bit more happy, a bit more inspiring and a bit less morose, someone would have looked his way.

Someone. His bright green eyes settle on a desk strategically chosen in the furthest shadows of the classroom where someone sits. They’re tired, fighting against the eight am death sentence of a class to stay awake and take notes. Nose always at the grindstone with so little in the way of reward, just like always. Sometimes he wonders if they’ve ever noticed his gaze, it’s been on them for a long time creating a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach he’d gladly brush off as disgust to Ruggie when pushed. Not that Ruggie ever pushed hard over something he wasn’t getting paid for and he had enough sense not to laugh at Leona to his face. They both knew it was worry. It was written all over his face and twitching through his tail, they look up to meet his heavy gaze and twitch. A smile works its way to his face involuntarily as he closes his eyes.

He is getting tired of waiting.

~~~

[FC] <Tempura Kun> I STG IM GONNA KERMIT A FELONY

[FC] <Granny Smith> fr?

[FC] <Granny Smith> where we pullin up?

[FC] <Tempura Kun> whatever hole my Algebra TA crawled out of this morning

[FC] <Granny Smith> we pullin out (´×ω×`)

[FC] <Tempura Kun> （πーπ）

[FC] <Tempura Kun> real brave

[FC] <Tempura Kun> ur such a big man

[FC] <Granny Smith> HEY

[FC] <Granny Smith> I thirst for the glory of combat not suicide

[FC] <Gloomy Samurai> whisper or get in a linkshell if you’re just going to bitch and braid each other’s hair

You smother your screams with a pillow as your discord lights up with a call from Epel, which you answer quickly enough it barely gets a chance to ring.

“Just not yer day, huh?” Epel sighs sympathetically, but you know he’s making that stupid smug face of his. “Whatcha do this time?”

“I accidentally gave Dr. Crewel some paperwork dad had me working on and when I tried to explain that to Leona, he laughed at me before I got it all out.” Epel whistles.

“Did you get the papers back?”

“Yeah.” You glare at your monitor as you settle into your desk chair. “Would have been nice to keep my dignity though.” Epel has enough sense to not to tease you more, just inviting you to a party and shooting a message to the guild to see if anyone is up for running a few dungeons while you stew in your frustrations, squishing your pillow and try to avoid reflecting on your day. Realistically speaking it wasn’t that bad. You’ve been pretty lucky in life compared to some people, as your adoptive father is so keen to remind you, he is very generous. He’s paying for you to go to a good school (that he works for so he’s actually just paying for books), he let you keep Grim when pretty much every other foster family you were placed with tried to get rid of him, and you have a pretty solid group of friends left over from highschool. But still, you like to think you have a right to complain about things, what sort of father makes his kid go through zoning laws under the guise of “father child bonding time”? And what sort of teacher’s assistant says that’s not his problem and snarks about taking off points of your actual homework?

Leona Kingscholar apparently, it’s his idea of a joke. By the day after tomorrow he’ll be back to his lazy self, slapping a half assed grade on your homework with a bunch of snarky commentary that’s surprisingly helpful when you go to amend your notes. Assuming he doesn’t hijack your table in the library to take a nap first. He’s a pain in your ass, and the worst part is you really don’t know why. Leona’s a junior, you think anyway, and outside of his job as a teacher’s assistant you don’t have any shared classes. Epel plays on the Spelldrive team, talks him up pretty much every chance he gets, so you guess he’s pretty good at that if nothing else. Maybe he’s mad at you on Epel’s behalf? He invites you to their games sometimes, but you never go because you’re too afraid of the crowds. The thought makes you huff in frustration as Rex and Snake join your party and begin bickering about what to que for; that’s between you and Epel, what’s his captain got to say about any of that? What does he want to do, show off?

[FC] <Snake Whisper> Tempura you still good to heal? Gran said you were stressed.

[FC] <Tempura Kun> I’ll stress more if I make you heal lol

[FC] <Tempura Kun> Thanks for asking <3

[FC] <Snake Whisper> σ(^○^)

[FC] <Snake Whisper> You’re good

You stretch and do your best to pop your neck.

Vivat Rex >> You shouldn’t stress about making him heal if you’re tired. It’s ok to take a break.

Tempura Kun >> lol I like heals I’ll be good promise

Tempura Kun >> ty for worrying tho <3 <3

Vivat Rex >> <3 ofc can’t have our only competent heals falling over dead

Tempura Kun >> HA i’m telling Nautilus u said that

Vivat Rex >> (^_~) punk ass bitch deserves it

The instance cuts off your reply and you settle into your chair determined to enjoy the hour and a half you set aside for yourself today before you have to go back to being an overworked unpaid student. Before you have to go back to trying to convince your friend Ruggie that you have a friend named Rex who is real and not a figment of your imagination that lives in your computer caused by dehydra- wait. Your eye twitches settling on the date and time mocking you from the lower right of your second monitor.

“Epel.”

“Hm?”

“I need you to go wall to wall or I’m gonna be late for work.”

~~~

“Finally.” Ruggie gives an exaggerated stretch as he yawns. You sigh to yourself in relief that he isn’t too upset that you’re a few minutes late, you know Ruggie’s a busy guy from the few closing shifts you’ve worked together. He’s one of the few people you feel actually respects your situation, if the side hustles he kicks your way are anything to go by anyway. You’d hate for him to think you’re ungrateful for his help. “I’m practically dead on my feet here, took you long enou-” You pause in tying your apron, unsure of why he’s staring into you so disapprovingly you almost swear he’s been replaced by Leona. Almost. His signature laugh is too unique.

“Stuff it.” You scowl and his laughter gets louder and it’s a wonder his tail doesn’t knock any of the cigarettes off the back counter shelves.

“Oh you look disgusting.” He fishes his phone out of his back pocket as he clocks out, checking it just out of your view as you try to salvage your pride and settle into your seat.

“You don’t look so hot yourself either.”

“Yeah at least I don’t look like a truck hit me and backed up to make sure it finished the job.” He looks somewhat serious for a brief second. “When was the last time you actually ate food?”

“Before I came here?”

“Instant noodles don't count.” Your silence is speaking volumes you don’t have the strength to combat and Ruggie sighs.

“I know I’m one to talk, but you should really get some rest.” His lips quirk into a grin for half a second, quick enough to have missed if you had blinked as if he remembered something amusing. “Unless you’re angling for someone to force you.”

“Like a health professional? You know the old crow will just look for a second opinion.” Ruggie lightly flicks your shoulder while he continues to focus on his phone on the way out the door.

“You mean thirty-second.” He doesn’t even look up to say goodbye. “Well I’m out! Try not to scare off the customers.” If you had to regularly interact with customers you would not have taken this shift. Epel had given you a hard time about that, something about personal safety being more important than sanity.

[FC] <Granny Smith> not what I said

[FC] <Granny Smith> u should at least have someone visit when ur alone on shift

And you did sometimes. Ace likes to drop by after practice, and Epel hadn’t said that with the intention of not showing up himself. Jack and Deuce probably would have visited even if you were on a daylight shift, not that Jack would ever admit to checking up on you outloud. But it was still very much only a sometimes thing, not that they didn’t care or worry they just had lives. Most of your time at the convenience store was spent alone scrolling through magicam on your phone, only looking up to ring up a hoard of energy drinks for whoever was just as tired as you were. Though maybe not today, Rex had tried to convince you to just call out. He always does, complaining about how he’d have to run things with Nautilus now, but he might have had a point today. The chair you and Ruggie snuck behind the counter is not remotely comfortable but you swear it feels like a cloud. You tried to focus on your magicam feed, but you couldn’t even bring yourself to care about the fan art Gloomurai posted of the First Fantasia Knight Commander. If anything it just made you sleepier, like he was personally inviting you to take a nap on his lap or something. Your eyes shut and your phone drops out of your hand. When you finally wake up you swear it has only been a minute at most but the smug look of your customer suggests otherwise.

“Morning sunshine.” Leona looks painfully out of place in this shitty college convenience store. The dingey, twitching light barely bounces off his hair and you swear his clothes have to cost more than all the electronic equipment in the place combined, maybe even more than your computer back home. An odd thought to have, he’s literally just wearing the same kind of athleisure wear you had been wearing almost twenty minutes ago while gaming, but you recognize the branding on that shirt from a rant Ruggie went on a month ago. Something about wondering why anyone would pay that much money to leave the house looking stupid in cheetah print. “Are you even listening to me?” Leona drawls, lazy and the slightest bit disappointed, he has been talking to you since you woke up you belatedly realize and completely fail to hide the fact. Leona sighs, tail thrashing in annoyance as he moves to join you behind the counter. “Whatever, just move over.” You almost fall off your chair.

“What? No no no this is an employee only zone you cannot take a nap back here.” You have no idea how Leona is expecting to fall asleep, even if you’ve tripped over him on the campus lawn before you’re sure the green has to be more comfortable than this questionably sourced tile. And yet he seems happy enough, bracing his back against the concrete wall as you turn your confusion back to the counter and notice a thermos that you don’t recognize next to you.

“That’s yours.” Your head whips back around but the fucker’s eyes are closed and he looks so incredibly unbothered your loud retort dies in your throat. He doesn’t bother to meet your piercing gaze no matter how long you stare at him, you get more of a response from the thermos when you accidentally elbow it trying to get more comfortable at the counter. It’s a nice thermos, one of those expensive insulated things that cost a ridiculous amount of money, in a bright yellow that nicely compliments the royal looking lion sticker stuck to it. There are a few other stickers, the NRC logo, a Spelldrive team logo, and a reaper job icon. The last sticker makes you smile, you’re pretty sure you linked a similar looking sticker to Rex in the guild discord a month ago, the design included a silhouette of the cowboy hat from the class armor set behind the icon just like this sticker. Exactly like this sticker, you realize as your tired eyes settle on the artist’s signature. The shop bell rings you to attention, a significantly less interesting customer enters the store and you try to shove your rising panic to the back of your mind and try to focus on doing your job.

Leona’s annoyed sigh goes completely unnoticed.

~~~

“You aren’t going to tell Crowley I slept through most of my shift right?” You have to be pushing things, Leona hates repeating himself and this is the third time you’ve asked him. Leona had insisted on staying with you until the end of your shift, you had insisted he had better ways to spend his night but admitted, when he had explicitly asked, that no you weren’t uncomfortable with his presence just didn’t want to be an inconvenience. That made him laugh, not unlike the little exchange you’d had this morning, but this time he had actually entertained your attempts at talking to him. Until the time came to leave and he offered to walk you home. Leona seeing you asleep at your shitty job was bad enough, the thought of that ramshackle house made your stomach tie up in all sorts of knots. “I know you probably don’t see it as a big deal-”

“Because it’s not.” He snorts. “Really who do you think you’re trying to impress?” You wince, Leona swings the thermos with that taunting sticker just out of view, as you huddle into yourself and he sighs stopping under a street light and turns you to face him. “No seriously, just who are you trying to impress? You’re always working to the point you’ve practically stopped being yourself. It’s annoying.”

“Well what’s it to you?” You huff and Leona doesn’t bother to immediately answer. Your eyes drift back to the sticker on his thermos.

“Maybe I like playing games with you.” His voice and face are uncharacteristically soft, but still unnervingly intense. He doesn’t bother specifying what he means, almost like he’s daring you to ask first so he can make fun of you for thinking Rex was anyone other than him this whole time. “Maybe I like Yuu enough that I want to spend just a little more time with them and not this weird zombie who doesn’t know the way back to their own house.”

“Oh please-” you roll your eyes and turn back to the road only for your retort to die in your throat. You are not, in fact, headed towards the haunted mansion. This road, this stupid street light, is next to a diner you know the college sports teams like to go to after games. Leona, gently, tugs you by the sleeve of your jacket towards the door. “Hey, I can’t afford-”

“Oh don’t misunderstand we ain’t here for you, I was just feeling a bit hungry.” The smug bastard doesn’t even pretend to hear your protests as he pushes his way into the diner and doesn’t wait to be seated. He just drags you towards the back of the diner shooting you a truly catlike smirk over his shoulder. “Of course if I have something left over, we can share. Maybe if you play nice you can get your own straw.” He spins you into the booth across from him, and despite what he literally just said shoves the plastic menu back into your hands when you try to hand it back to the clearly amused waitress.

“How long have you known I was...” You feel stupid even trying to broach the topic, there’s a pretty clear line you don’t cross when making online friends. It’s even in the guild rules, you’re pretty sure “don’t ask for anyone’s IRL info” is probably Gloomurai’s life motto. But Leona doesn’t seem to care, which you suppose is in line with what you know about Rex. His laid back attitude was what had made him the most approachable out of all your guildmates, not that you would ever have thought to apply such a description to Leona. If anything he seems confused why you’re so shy about talking, like he’s known who you are the whole time and that’s why he spent so much time pinging you in game or why he decided to spend his night keeping you company.

“Maybe I like playing games with you.” Something starts curling up in your stomach at the thought that he just might have, if Leona notices you loosening your jacket to release some steam he pretends not to notice.

“Epel mentioned he was gonna try to get you into the guild.” Well that’s news to you, looks like someone is going to get yelled at later tonight. “I didn’t expect you to be so excited about healing, but I ain’t complaining, it was cute and now I don’t have to take Naut’s shit outside of raids.” Cute. You intake a sharp breath and Leona definitely notices your nerves, clearly planning to press the point unless you can cut him off from the chase.

“W-what exactly do you have against Nautilus anyway?” With the way Leona’s face wrinkles you idly wonder if he knows who Nautilus actually is too, or if he’s just displeased that the focus is no longer on him. “He’s not bad at his role.”

“Naut pays too much attention to pointless shit. Sure he’s good but it’s not like he does world firsts or anything.” Neither does Rex but that does seem to be besides the point when he’s paying for your dinner, especially now that it’s in front of you. Diner food might not be the healthiest but Ruggie really was right about instant noodle not counting as a meal. “You know he and Snake used to bitch at each other while they were supposed to be doing callouts? Had whole ass arguments over cooking instead of calling out shackle timing. Gloom and Musclered never stopped ‘em either since it was ‘funny.’” They still do, just in discord and not while you run things. It’s hard to picture someone as professional as Nautilus doing something like that, but then again you know that Rex has known him longer. “So just in case you thought I was just being nice earlier, you are the better heals. If I could get the cards I want with just you, Epel, and Ruggie I would.” It’s disturbing how clear the picture is in your mind: your lala, Epel’s roe, and Leona’s cowboy coded catman being joined by some hyper pink catgirl in the mini game bunny suit that you can easily see Ruggie using to scam some tech worker out of his monthly salary in Pirate’s Port wiping to an EX rank trial because Leona decided his logs weren’t orange enough. It sounds like a good time, and you can’t keep yourself from blurting out:

“We should try to run something sometime anyway, it’d be fun.” And before you can retreat back into your shell, Leona smiles, smiles and burns away any sort of shyness you wanted to have over talking video games with someone as “normal” as him.

“If you can think of something just text me.” You fish out your phone and can’t even bring yourself to cringe at the time with just how happy that suggestion makes you feel.

And Ace said playing MMOs would get you zero bitches.

~~~

This was a mistake. It was hard to keep that thought from drumming away at your nerves the longer you stood in the station square; Leona had been the one to invite you out, not the other way around, so if he really ended up not liking this then that was his fault not yours. You even took into account that Leona was a lazy bitch and suggested you meet up later in the day instead, but then again… You try to resist drowning in a wave of self flagellation over the clothes you picked out as you somehow manage to sink further into the park bench you have decided to camp out on. For someone who had been so insistent they were not going out on a date when their generous adoptive father asked where they were going during such prime father child bonding hours, you felt insanely self conscious. That was normal right, people who actually went out with their friends to do stuff other than pal around the local big box store put thought into their appearance. Not that there was anything wrong with that. If this goes south you know you already confirmed you can have Jack over here in two shakes of his tail and that’s probably exactly what you would end up doing. But when Mannon posted in the guild discord about a First Fantasia themed pop up cafe that was going to be A) running for a limited time within walking distance from your house and B) giving out a code for an in game pet-

Well admittedly your first thought had been to invite Epel, but Leona had texted you almost immediately after Mannon dropped the link.

[irl catboy] ruggie said you aren’t working this saturday

[irl catboy] come with me to the stupid cafe i never know what to order at those places

With such a gentlemanly request how could you possibly refuse? And now here you were fifteen minutes early trying to keep yourself from going stir crazy, or from jumping out of your skin when an increasingly familiar deep voice whispers a sleepy “hey” into your ear.

“Seven’s Leona!” You’re half ready to hit him with your backpack but your indignation and fright are almost entirely wiped away by the sheer figure Leona cuts against the setting autumn sun. Someone, Ruggie you decide, because there’s no way Leona decided to dress up to come see you himself, forced your upperclassman into a knit black turtleneck with golden claw-like trim on the neck and rolled up cuffs. He’s kept his usual tan slacks, but the ugly woven sandals have been swapped out for a more weather appropriate pair of ugly slip ons with similar gold claws to the turtleneck. His hair’s still tied up like he’s been at spelldrive practice, not that you fully know what he looks like outside of Epel’s descriptions and your own imagination.

“What, did I scare you?” you drawls, clearly eating up the attention you’re lavishing on his appearance. Before you can collect yourself enough to stand up he leans down to cow you back into the bench. “Maybe I should scare you some more? The mousey look really suits you.”

“Oh shut up!” You huff and stand, trying your best to avoid cracking your head off of Leona’s stupidly broad frame as you both go to head towards the cafe. “Did you look up the menu online or are you just planning on winging it?”

“You really like to put effort into things don’t you?” Leona doesn’t look or sound too upset but there’s a strange wistfulness to his look you do not really like, but it’s gone before you can pick at it too much. “Nah I figured I’d just let you pick.”

“Are you sure?” You try your best not to sound excited, you swear the only thing you admire about Ruggie is his work ethic, not his grift. “I could just take advantage of you and force you to get a bunch of stuff only I’d like.” As if he’s reading your mind, Leona's green eyes twinkle with mischief you know will bite you in the ass later.

“Oh no you would never do that. I know for a fact that you are just too nice for that.” The “unlike someone else" goes unsaid as Leona decides to really double down on the gentleman act when you reach the cafe, holding the door and not even pretending to look at the menu until you prompt him.

“Do you want to get the reaper soda?” Leona shrugs.

“Does it sound like it will taste good to you?” It does but that’s sort of besides the point, you’re much more interested in the white mage one.

“I just thought you might want the coaster.” You murmur and he smiles.

“I’d lose something like that real fast, you can just keep it.” Your eyes have to pop halfway out of your head with how hard he laughs, other patrons shoot a confused look at your table as you try to resist the urge to self combust. “Let me guess, they’re worth somethin right? In that case all the more reason for you to keep em.” The look in his eyes is practically daring you to ask if he’s really sure, but knowing Leona he wants an excuse to tease so for now you swallow your insecurities and point your awkward smile up at the server who comes to take your order.

“Um can we get one reaper soda, one white mage soda…” your voice trails off and Leona pipes up with the name of a burger you don’t remember reading out to him but they apparently serve anyway with how quickly she notes it down.

“And is the check separate or together?” She sweetly asks and before you can so much as breathe Leona cuts you off.

“Bill goes to me.” You glare at him, well try to really Leona’s a hard person to stare down. “Didn’t I say you could get whatever?” Not literally, it was more implied along with the trouble that you weren’t expecting to catch up to you this quickly. His smile widens, not quite wolfishly, more like a lion staring down a particularly foolish gazelle that’s stumbled weak kneed into his territory. “Go on, tell the nice lady what else you want, she won’t bite you, that's my job.” Flames aren’t enough anymore. You need to turn into a particularly fine paste or particle dust to relive how fast your heart is beating. Luckily for you the server seems amused, letting out a good natured laugh as she shoots you a wink.

“You heard your man, what can we get for you?” You take back every judgment you have ever passed Ruggie’s way. With just how proud Leona seems like now he really is asking for it.

~~~

“You don’t really do things like this much do ya?” Leona kept his teasing to a minimum after the bite comment thank god and kept his word about letting you keep the coasters. Pretty much everything at the cafe seemed to have some sort of First Fantasia themed knick knack you were allowed if not encouraged to take back with you. Leona had offered to walk you home once you both saw how dark it was, promising that would be your only stop this time much to your relief. You weren’t sure how much more of his teasing you could take.

“I mean I’ve got Epel, but Ace, Deuce, and Jack don’t really like mmos.” You aren’t sure if it has ever actually been established if you are friends with Sebek, but unless someone teaches Malleus how to use a mouse you doubt he’s going to be logging into anything other than a literal tree anytime soon. “Sometimes Epel will send me links to merch he thinks I’d like, but he’s more into the…” You pause to try and find the words for what it is you want to say, knowing your friend will kill you if you make him look lame. “Sense of pride and accomplishment you get from beating high end content.”

“That sounds like him.” Leona says proudly. “He’s like that with anything mildly competitive. One of his better qualities, just don’t go telling him I said that. Wouldn’t want it goin to his head.” There’s no way you’ll be able to keep his mild praise a secret from Epel forever, but what Leona doesn’t know won’t hurt him too much. “But that’s not really what I was asking.” Your pace slows as Leona lapses back into silence and you wrack your brain for what he actually could have meant. “Do you like going out to cafe’s?”

“I… don’t really know.” You liked tonight. Talking to Leona, when he was awake enough to participate, was always fun. Even when you were trading jabs back and forth in class. “I used to dream about finally finding someone who I could do stuff like this with, but I kind of gave up after my last date said-” you freeze in your train of thought and walk. This had not been a date in any way shape or form. Sure, Leona played a video game with you, and sure he’s been going out of his way to talk to you in real life more regularly since he came to visit your work. But it’s not like he did that for any reason other than- “said it was just too weird. Said I was just too weird and I guess I just sort of got tired of not being able to talk about things that interested me so I gave up trying.”

“Then why not just date me?” Leona’s eyes are a really strange shade of green now that you’re staring straight into them. It’s like he’s got two neon lights shining a spotlight directly on you every time he speaks, judging and picking apart whoever he is looking at. And right now he is looking pointedly at you, making it clear this isn’t a conversation he is going to let you run from. “I told you before, didn't I? I like playing games with you. I want to spend time with you; I want to hear about your day every day, from what annoyed you to funny things you and your friends did. I want to see you happy and know I made that happen, because you make my life a happier one just by being in it. The only thing I have ever not liked about you is that you work too hard, and that’s not unfixable. You just need to let me be a bad influence on you.” It’s a confession you never really expected to receive, but somehow so very much him. It’s insulting, honest, and just a touch demanding but it reaches into that small shrunken part of your heart that you’ve been burying most of your feelings in for who knows how long now and fills it with warmth.

“Would you-” It feels like a silly question but with how intently Leona is hanging on your every word you feel a rush of power going straight to your head. “If we were going out would you stop wiping things on purpose?” He blinks, if he’s surprised by the request or shocked he got this far you don’t quite know, but he quickly recovers, moving into your space to offer his hand.

“If you ask nicely.” You gladly take the offered arm and influence, squeezing his much larger hand with a soft smile.

“Then it’s a dea-” Leona cuts you off with a kiss, swallowing your mouselike squeak along with most of your air with a speed you didn’t know he possessed.

“Don’t use that punks line.” He practically growls and you can’t hold in your happy laughter any longer. It could just be the streetlights, but you don’t think Leona looks all that mad. Quite the opposite really, not that you expect him to voice it out loud. Instead he leans in for another kiss in a gruff effort to show just how much he means what he has been trying to say all along.

I’m happiest when I am doing things with you.

*if you are curious about Leona's outfit, I based it off of Lion King clothing items in Disney Dreamlight Valley (black and gold claw shoes, tan sunny slacks, and the gray claw top for those looking for specifics)

#twisted wonderland x reader #leona kingsholar x reader #leona x yuu #leona kingscholar #twst x reader #twst au

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