#frat barty

[supercitofus]

FRAT AU POSTED!!!!

please check her out, crack fic rosekiller my babies

🙈

[static-radio-ao3]

sunday snippet

thank you for tagging me @xjustakay and @veryinnovative <333 kissing u both

"Oh yeah, Reg owed me so much money, actually," Barty continues, unbothered by Regulus’ death stare. "I offered to let him pay me back in installments." "Did you really?" James asks, voice now betraying amusement. Regulus lets his head drop back, a dull thud against the shelves. He considers moving. Maybe Europe? He’s heard wonderful things about Portugal. Then again, Regulus never did well with heat, so maybe he should head more North. Denmark perhaps. Barty hums, then says, "Think I could also beg a kiss off you? I probably have a few dollars lying around. Gotta make sure Regulus invested his money well, you know how it is." He's patting his pockets for good measure, pulling out some lint and a wrinkled twenty-dollar bill.

no pressure tags: @messerflower @magswrite @spacexcowgirl

[foursaints]

hi <3

first of all, i wanted to tell you i'm always stalking your blog (in a non creepy way) because i love everything about it. mostly i love how you use your big brain™️ to share some insanely detailed headcanons about some silly dead gay wizards (i mean that in the nicest way possible. i'm a little bit in love with you actually . anyway i'm digressing)

second of all, i wanted to know if you could share some of your thoughts about bartylily🤲🏻 because i'm fairly sure you're the main reason i'm hooked on them

much love <333

ANYTHING for bartylily... lately i've been attached to the idea of a college au where they're Rival Campus Radio Station Hosts.

barty is a spectacularly unmotivated senior who dropped out of a prestigious engineering degree to study practical SFX for horror movies instead. everyone has vague, peripheral knowledge of him after an incident where he was found passed out naked in the campus fountain. his apartment with the slytherins isn't technically a frat house but there's a structure in the kitchen affectionately referred to as the "Leaning Tower of Miller Lite" & barty has a nearly imperceptible crescent-shaped chip in his front tooth from a keg-standing mishap. he wears a lot of chains and has several john carpenter themed tattoos and he REEKS like cigarettes. so many pairs of mystery panties turn up in his laundry hamper that his housemates have started calling it the Lost And Found.

he has a deeply beloved & charmingly unpolished radio show in the primetime spot which mostly consists of him having his friends on, spotlighting terrible underground bands, and making drily ironical, beautifully mean jabs.

lily is an overzealous sophomore who's triple-majoring in three equally unmarketable degrees (it's, like, polisci & international affairs & communications) who's blessed with the gift of taking every single thing that happens on campus WAY too serious. she runs their Model UN like it's the navy. she's the RA who is always marching around her floor in a spaghetti-strap tanktop & bunny slippers with a scrunchie on her wrist, shaking her fist at people. there was a period following her breakup with james where she was literally reading Machiavelli for inspiration. she's right on the precipice of the cool-girl academic meltdown that will lead to Serious Character Growth, but she isn't quite there yet.

her well-made and well-researched radio show is relegated to the midnight timeslot, and even though all her friends listen to it she probably got into a spat with them for saying something along the lines of "obviously i dont care if its just YOU listening to it, remus!!!". she hate-listens to barty's show which she considers (lily voice) An Affront To Collegiate Journalism

they trade barbs at every function and absolutely nobody but the two of them takes their insane imaginary Radio Beef even remotely serious whatsoever. but it's dead serious TO THEM!!! lily is probably camping out in actual bushes with actual binoculars to sabotage his show, and the worst part is that it's actually working. she ISN'T obsessed with him (shut up!!!!!), and barty is mostly just aggravated on principle that the Uptight Lowerclassman Ruining His Life has such nice legs.

and they absolutely bone like crazy about it

[iliketoreadstuf]

my works

all of my fics in one place for you <3

WIPs:

linger on your pale blue eyes: Nico di Angelo and Will Solace haven't spoken in years. The once best friends are only distant strangers after Will moved to Texas as a kid. Now, years later, Will has returned to work at the same amusement park as Nico.

Will they rekindle their friendship... or maybe something more? (solangelo, multi-chap)

because i liked a boy: James Potter is a well-known celebrity riding the high of his acting career. After breaking up with his longtime girlfriend and past co-star, Lily Evans, he enters a relationship with Regulus Black.

Chaos ensues. (jegulus, multi-chap)

sing your heart out: In a last-ditch effort to escape his parent's control before settling down at their finance firm, Regulus takes a leap of faith and auditions for The Voice, which will be coached by the four members of the Marauders. (jegulus, marylily, rosekiller, multi-chap)

boys don't cry: It all starts with a girl who doesn't know her name, a childhood board game, and the disappearance of Regulus Black.

or, the marauders if they existed in Stranger Things (jegulus, wolfstar, nobleflower + others, multi-chap)

every summer after (on hiatus): Regulus Black has never had friends, all except for his childhood best friend that moved away years ago. What will happen when said best friend turns back up as his roommate at summer camp?

or, a Bartylus childhood friends to lovers story told through each summer at camp and the letter correspondence between reg and barty during the rest of the year. (bartylus multi-chap)

stereotypical (on hiatus): Remus is a basketball player, Sirius is in Marching Band. Alternately, James is a basketball player, Regulus is a theater nerd. Chaos ensues. (jegulus, wolfstar, multi-chap)

Finished Fics:

and i'll never go home again (place the call, feel it start): Camp Half Blood holds a volleyball tournament every summer. This the first time Nico di Angelo has ever had a chance to participate, and on Will Solace's team nonetheless. (solangelo, multi-chap)

close proximity: Marauders x Holiday Season x Office Romance. Fluff. Mutual pining. Falling in love. Happy endings only. Enjoy. (jegulus, wolfstar + others, multi-chap) written with @prongsisthesun

anything can happen: after getting out of tumultuous relationships, both regulus and remus are desperate for a break. deciding to go on a vacation and switch homes for christmas, both of them find out the true meaning of love and what it takes to keep it.

or, a marauders AU set in "The Holiday" (jegulus, wolfstar, multi-chap)

second chances: when Regulus is hit with a rogue spell that sends him back to a 6-year-old, Sirius is forced to face their adversities and grow past their animosity. (jegulus multi-chap)

touch starved: Regulus can't sleep; James can't sleep. They fix this by cuddling. (jegulus one shot)

it's worse to be nothing with you: After his ex left him with no warning, Regulus has to find some semblance of normal. That is, until his ex returns 8 months later on his doorstep. (bartylus one shot)

harry vs. the homo sapiens agenda: Harry Potter has a lovely life: loving family, amazing friends. But he has a secret. No one knows that he's gay. Well, no one but his anonymous pen pal "Dragon". What will happen when his emails are found by the wrong person? (drarry multi-chap)

a real cowboy: Harry dresses up as a cowboy for a Halloween party at the Gryffindor frat house. Draco finds him. (drarry one shot)

i feel more free than i have in years: Narcissa Black has been brought up to be the perfect ballerina, but her long-time crush on Alice Fortescue seems to always take precedent over everything. (nobleflower one shot)

to me, you are perfect: What if the Marauders existed in Love, Actually? (jegulus, wolfstar, dorlene + others multi-chap)

sweeter than revenge: In the aftermath of The Prank, Remus finds himself desperate to get revenge on Sirius. And what better way than fake dating his brother and two best friends? (jegulus, wolfstar multi-chap)

sometimes it's easier to be invisible: Regulus Black hates James Potter. He's loud, egotistic, and replaced Regulus at a time he needed Sirius the most. But when Regulus gets kicked out of his home and forced to live with him, will their spark grow or die? (jegulus-centric, multi-chap)

Blinding Lights Universe:

blinding lights: Regulus is the highest-paid actor of his generation, and when his brother's band agrees to write a song for his film, the brothers are forced to speak to each other again after seven years. (jegulus, marylily, rosekiller, multi-chap)

lifeline: Years before they ever dated, James sent Regulus post cards in hopes of getting a reply. He finally does. (jegulus one shot)

keep his name out of your mouth: What happens when someone publicly drags Regulus's husband on live tv? They get socked in the face. (jegulus one shot)

[vajazzly]

Underrated ship? Explain why Sirius/Rabastan is good idea? Rant about jegulus! Headcanons for bartylus?

UNDERRATED SHIP i mean i gotta say prongsfoot. and also wolfstarbucks !!!! there is NO REASON in my mind that james would get together with REGULUS (wizard racist, terminally uncool, etc) when SIRIUS (the coolest, charming, always correct, smart, beautiful, etc) is RIGHT THERE. hes right there!!!! and theyre canonically incredibly devoted to one another, cant stand being separated.... YEAH. and then what the hell throw remus, the friend they both risk everything to help and defend on several occasions.... YEP. every perfect power couple needs their damp self-loathing pathetic Guy to round things out !!! they need a Project!!

sirius and rabastan is objectively hilarious and i really do love a little slutty sirius - he can make terrible decisions and be self destructive as a treat !!! i think sirius knows hes attractive, and usually just doesnt care about anyone other than james and remus, but if theres one thing about him hes gonna find a way to self destruct/self harm as a coping mechanism !!! and hey, that distant relatives wedding is soooo boring, he deserves to have a little fun!

ok, bartylus frat boy headcanons:

-courtesy of @kaleidoscopexsighs beautiful brain: they enjoy paddling each other, claiming its some sort of frat boy hazing ritual, but, well.... its just spanking innit

-vacations in the hamptons, aspen, etc, neither of them ski but theyre there to be seen and suck dick

-regulus works in finance, barty works in tech

-reguluss parents hate everything about barty when they meet him officially as reguluss bf- hes a man, they see him as a social climber, his manners are atrocious, etc. regulus is convinced if they become successful and as heteronormative as possible while still being gay his parents will come around. they will not

-they are republicans/tories

-they have 0 queer friends because other gay people fucking hate them

-this includes sirius

-barty wears boat shoes, regulus wears loafers

[quillkiller]

I would love to know if you have any thoughts on Peter/Xenophilius/Pandora? I think it has potential as all pairs within this are already shipped. Peter with his two slightly spacey partners who get so excited about creatures he’s never heard of. Pandora and Xeno letting Peter talk about herbology. The three of them being the most chill people in the school and they’re so lovely to everyone. (Maybe they’re selling weed from the greenhouses but shhhh)

interesting!! i can see where its coming from, but to me personally it would never work :/ i have a pretty clear characterization of pandora and it differs a lot from the tiktokified/lunafication that i feel is the most popular one ??

i don’t even really ship her with xeno because i have a pretty clear characterization of him too (thanks to @standardlovers mwah) and to me he’s a californian/australian spiritual surfer type guy who doesn’t own a cell phone and ’lives in the moment’. the guy in the frat house who’s a little weird and does mushrooms and holds a seance but also chugs beers and ’loves his brotherhood’ and plays whatever sports there are. soccer i guess. sort of like that blonde guy in 21 jump street. to me luna is more like her father than her mother

pandora to me is an angry impulsive overachiever and she’s always a mess. insane god complex (i mean look at how she died….). i made moodboard for her once here. she swears in every other sentence, wants to be the best in her (male dominated) field, unorganized but organized in her own way. no one understands how she keeps track of things because its so so so bad but she gets it. she has her own system. she’s also loud and not great with social cues. she inturrupts people and is generally unpleasant. shes sort of evans opposite in a way. not that hes more pleasant, but he doesnt even really try to connect with other people. pandora wants to connect. i tend to ship her with dorcas, bella, barty or lily. she needs someone assertive and certain, and someone who can meet her where she is. someone who isn’t put off by her strangeness and unplesantness but is instead drawn to her because of it <3 and also someone who’s a tad bit gross like she is. to thats neither reg or xeno. even if xeno/pandora are canon. i see why and how they end up together. on the outside everything sort of fits. they’re similar in a spiritual sort of way, but to me their personalities would clash. xeno is too soft for her and panda is too harsh for him

and then peter. ive talked a lot about him lately and explained my characterization of him. stoner and ultimate autism swag and cooler than he both understands or realises. he needs someone bratty and annoying (like reg) to keep on his lap. i also can’t really see peter with a girl ? im not entirely against peter/sybill but its also not really doing it for me. so yeah !

mwah!! thank you for this ask!!!

[sommerregenjuniluft]

frat boy barty who has this initiation thing where him and other guys chase people through the woods during the night. bookworm lily who writes for the college paper and decides to see what exactly happens at this initiation. she absolutely hates him, he's absolutely obsessed with her. he finds her there and stops at nothing to catch her

layla ur brain oh my god. i thought to start the one shot with the premise of lily camping with the marauders in the woods, just old high school friends meeting up, and barty showing up unannounced and scaring the shit out of her when a dark figure appears between the trees while she’s out getting fire wood but DUDE yours is fucking wild i love it so much😭😭 i could also easily see lily being head of sorority and they know the fraternity has something planned for them and they think it’s a cute little bonfire and barbecue or something and instead they wake up in the second day to find a note saying they’re coming for them and there’s like a plushy dear stuck to a tree with a knife and ketchup but come night they all show up with fucking masks and weapons and the girls Run for their fucking lives fhjkhhhjjj HELP SHOULD I ACTUALLY WRITE THIS??

[honeybcj]

Jarty smoking weed and jerking off together

i need to see these fuckers in the basement of some dingy, bacteria infested frat house, smoking a three gram blunt just between the two of them while some shitty reality show plays in the background, feet propped up on a wobbly coffee table. they’re high as kites, not giving two fucks if someone else from the house walks downstairs. they��re too preoccupied jerking each other off while fighting off the urge to berate each other over the stupidest shit. i want barty to be an absolute sleaze about it, goading james on and saying, “oh baby, my hand on your cock a little too much for you?” and james loses his cool and spits in barty’s face, tightening his grip on barty’s cock but spoiler alert: barty crouch jr has a mega spit kink and he might have accidentally fallen in love with james potter mid-jerking off because james’ spit is dripping down his chin and he laps it up greedily like a goddamn dog

[whenpercyfallsinlove]

I have a few bear with mdr

Favourite Marauders ship/s?

Favourite Taylor Swift songs?

Rank all of Taylor's albums in order of your favourite?

Favourite One Direction Era?

And lastly: What are your Marauders Fan-casts if you had to make a movie? Sorry I had to add one more:

Opinions on the Harry Potter re-boot? And another:

What has been the highlight/s of your week so far?

yaya okay!!

1) my fav marauders era ship has gotta be wolfstar bc they were my original otp 😭😭😭

2) my tears ricochet, champagne problems, and king of my heart

3) folklore and evermore are tied at first place, then reputation, speak now, midnights, lover, debut, 1989, red, fearless (OMG THIS MADE ME SO SAD I FEEL SO BAD DEBUT IS SO FAR DOWN AND DEBUT IS THE BEST AND WHY IS FEARLESS LAST OMG 😭😭😭)

4) definitely 100% their frat boy eras it’s literally my fav era ever 🫶🫶🫶

5) okok so remus as andrew garfield, sirius as ben barnes, james as reiky de valk, reg as timothee chalamet, lily as annalise basso, marlene as beabadoobee, barty as maxence danet fauvel, dorcas as anok kon, mary as sofia bryant. and i have yet to find ones that i really like for evan and pandora 🙁 (also ik my remus and ben ones are basic and i do not care 😭😭😭)

6) just… no

7) hm probably seeing some friends i hadn’t seen in awhile!

thanks for sending all the questions this was fun!!

[erudite-rebel]

meta topic: office space. his dorm space or living space as a beacon professor.

Send me the word ‘meta’ and a topic, and I’ll go off about that meta involving my muse || ALWAYS ACCEPTING PLS

---

In a word? Chaotic.

He has an excellent memory for where he places things, so by and large it’s almost impossible for him to lose something unless it’s helped along by Misfortune. Because of that memory, he tends to just... let things go where they may. A person digging through won’t be able to find anything without a lot of patience. There’s no real explanation for the order of his library, other than he at least has the decency to separate fiction from non-fiction. If you want something specific from it, it’s best to ask him to find it otherwise good luck. Books are also not even bothered to be filed neatly. Sometimes they’re the right way, or upside down, backwards, stacked on one another, several deep...

His House:

Barty lives in a flat on campus in the staff living area. It is cramped with things, though it doesn’t quite give off the vibe of a hoarder. While he doesn’t keep garbage (besides the fact that sometimes the bin gets high with take away), he has a lot of things aquired in his travels. Nearly every wall has a shelf on it somewhere, heaped with mementos and artifacts he’s recovered from the black market, crammed with books, littered with statuettes and pieces of pottery, and things he found amusing (there are a few Funko’s tucked about). His walls are painted green, but you wouldn’t really see that well, as he also hangs tapestries and posters in the space between his shelves. 

Rugs of every imaginable sort can be found all over, and his furniture is aclectic and second hand owing to he number of times he’s broken things just by sitting down too hard and not minding his momentum. 

For the most part, you might find coffee cups in odd places, the odd tea spoon, maybe a plate licked clean by his cat Boudicca, but he isn’t given to nasty messes. Like most of his spaces, dried food like sealed packets of berries and the like will be squirreled around in case he needs a sudden snack. Sometimes an article of clothing will wind up in a funny spot because he wiggles out of them sometimes over the day without thinking, or just tosses it willy nilly because of it. He’s lost a lot of socks and ties this way.

His Office:

Crammed with maps, yet more trinkets found over the years, and a stash of marbles he keeps for a specific bird brain. His desk is a massive oak affair, broad and heaped with paperwork. There’s a secondary desk for school work and a computer station, but his primary is where he does a lot of his planning for Ozpin. Tracking records, lists of statements, everything to help him narrow down potential lost settlements and the next place to search for magical artifacts.  His office really is a mess, and it’s best to let him by himself within it unless invited because if you shift something he might blow up on you. He has a little couch specifically for random sugar crashes and his home office is much of the same, though perhaps less cluttered.

His Dorm:

Team AMBR was honestly a bit of a pigsty dorm. The other three boys were everything you’d expect from jock-type frat boys, and Barty is as Barty does. They had bunk beds, and Barty had a bottom bunk to himself that he didn’t really fit in thanks to his height. He had his own crammed full bookshelf, and did his best to organize his mess and keep things hidden in bins beneath his bed. Usually he’d hang a sheet as a curtain to block the rest of them out, and he had a string of fairy lights underneath to light it. He also had lots of band posters, and a few pictures of his real friends, on the walls. 

[neshabeingchildish]

Your Mom

Did not intend to have so many OCs here, but it's a moms-centric chapter and has some other folk you might come across in college - friends, coworkers and stuff. I gave Charlotte’s mom the name Rosemary and Jasper’s mom the name Pansy. Bear with me. Sorry. ILU thanks.

Your Mom

“Are the straights okay?” a friend typed as the caption of a post with a bride grabbing the groom and forcing him into marriage. Charlotte kept scrolling. The straights were not okay for a number of reasons, and that was one of the ones that she didn’t relate to, at all. There’d be no dragging of men to the altar for her. She was almost certain that somebody might have to drag her to one, in order for it to go down, if she was perfectly honest, but she’d lucked out and managed to find a decent man who managed to remake himself into a godsend for her, and she believed it was what she deserved. 

Being pampered on her period was one thing, but Jasper’s nurturing was like… constant. He’d figure out that something worked and he would go for it, tried and true and be her rock through just about anything. Some people didn’t like for things to remain the same. They felt like it was stagnant or got stale, but Charlotte hated change. She liked to be comfortable and the rollercoaster of fitting herself into Jasper’s world was one that had been uproarious and uncomfortable. While she hated that he seemed sad that he didn’t have the time to do a lot of the things that he used to, she loved not needing to dress up, go out, small talk or be seen by his friends as a bitch or a buzzkill, interact with people who were way drunker than her, and way stupider, even on their smartest days… Like… She was glad that he was too busy to socialize. But, she also felt bad about it, because Jasper thrived on that energy. 

He flourished and blossomed and without it, she was worried that he might wither into his former sadness. SO, she got out of her comfort zone, hated it the entire time and plotted to try to get schedules to arrange a couple’s camping trip with some of his frat bros and their current interests or partners. She felt more comfortable about doing something that they wouldn’t be on campus for and able to invite every stoner and wild child in town, but something that she could also enjoy. Nature, hiking, maybe even a little partying by the campfire, or perhaps, they could rent a cabin! She still had to sort the details out whenever she could figure out when schedules would allow it. But, it also meant speaking with his bosses. Now… The tattoo parlour, it was all good. They loved him. He brought a lot of customers in, and a lot of traffic and they considered him like family - he had that effect on people. But, the internship… It was unpaid and he also hadn’t been there for very long. She did some research to figure out who she might be dealing with. She knew that the guy at the firm who took him on was an alumnus of his fraternity, but she didn’t know much else. A little delving couldn’t hurt. This dude’s name is Bart? He goes by Barty? Wait… Bartholomew Buttkiss? She cackled and kept looking. Typical WASP shit. Involved with more companies than he would ever put on the Internet, children looking like they’re about to do The Purge, grandchildren looking like The Village of the Damned. Game hunting (exotic animals, asshole…), golf (eye roll), lacrosse champion… Jazz enthusiast… “Okay… Maybe I can work with this, Mr. Buttkiss.” Charlotte searched through his profiles and through interviews and really put WAY more time into that than she even had into planning the actual goddamn trip! BUT…

She showed up at the firm, around when Jasper usually took a lunch break (when he might have called her), but early enough that she was able to be there whenever Barty was gonna be heading out for golf with a buddy. Don’t ask her how she found that out… She wore a long jazz festival shirt with cute little musical notes leggings and packed a huge basket of treats, including some peach tarts, old Barty’s faves and she came up to the desk as she saw him coming from out of the work area. “Hi!” She said to the receptionist, “Hoping that Jasper Dunlop is available for lunch. I can certainly wait, if he’s not, but I hope it’s possible to let him know that Charlotte is here. I brought some treats for your troubles.” She set the basket on the desk and opened it to let the smell out. “I recommend the peach tarts. They’re homemade.” 

Barty headed over to the desk and asked, “I’m sorry, what’s happening here?”

Charlotte smiled at him and offered her hand, “Hi! I’m Charlotte. My fiance is an intern here. I’m trying to treat him to lunch, a little surprise. I brought enough treats at least for a few people.” 

“You said that you’ve got peach tarts, huh?” Barty asked and looked into the basket, then helped himself. He made a bunch of obnoxious noises that she almost broke character behind, before declaring, “These are some of the best peach tarts I’ve ever tasted! You made these? Mmmm.” He grabbed another.

“I did! I didn’t know what to make, so I have a selection of stuff here. Help yourself.”

“Jasper, was it? He’s a good kid. You’re his fiance?” He gave her a lookover, and she couldn’t tell if he was judging her or just looking. “I didn’t realize that he was engaged.”

“It’s new. I’m trying to make sure that I’m a good, supportive woman, you know, but you can’t tell a man anything when he’s used to doing things and being successful. I’m trying to plan a camping trip, for instance, and he INSISTS that there’s no way that he’d ever be able to take the time off. He’s never gonna ask for it, so I have to just do what I can and squeeze in these little moments where I can, you know? Gotta make sure that he knows that I love him enough to bake for the office and set up picnics.”

“Are you gonna be a housewife?”

“In this economy?” She asked, and laughed. “No. I mean, he wants to be the breadwinner, but I’m actually one of the top people in my class and already working professionally in my field, lower level things. We’ve all gotta start someplace, right? I’m at Ridgemont Diagnostics…”

“REALLY?” He was impressed. “Are you a debutante?”

“Oh, no… I’m doing all of it on this,” she pointed to her temple.

“Interesting. Well, listen, when does Jasper need some time off? He’s an intern. It’s not like the place will fall apart without him.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s more like he’s just passionate about proving himself and earning his keep. I was thinking definitely a weekend before hunting season kicks off. Him, some of the fraternity guys and their lovely ladies, just taking a break, you know?”

“Of course. Listen, here… what was your name again?”

“Charlotte Page, Sir.” 

He dug into his wallet and gave her a business card. “I want to get that tart recipe from you and you can email me when you want to take Jasper away. AND a jazz fan?” He said, noting her shirt, “I didn’t really know that kid had such good taste. His wardrobe is… interesting. Very nice to meet you.” He grabbed another tart and went on his way. It was a few minutes before Jasper ever came out.

He was smiling, in a simple button shirt with a very bright tie which she said, “Hey, F Sized… Stop wearing ties to work. Or wear like… old man ones that your boss might like.”

“He says that my ties are interesting.”

“Yeah, he told me the same thing. But, it was the way he said it.” He nodded and removed the tie. “So… Just so you know, you’re gonna have a free weekend and you, me, Coogie, Snek, and Fisher are gonna go camping.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I just wooed your boss for a free weekend for you and the fellas are gonna bring a girl and we’re going camping near the mountains.”

“Why?” he asked.

“Because you haven’t been able to do anything that you enjoy with your friends, and I knew that I could most likely ask your boss without making it seem like YOU were trying to get out of work. Come on, I’ve got you some maple bacon pies and an extra thick milkshake. It’s thicker than you,” she said and winked at him. Whenever they got outside, she also pinched his butt. “I love that thing,” she said, smiling fondly at it. 

.

Hey, I am taking Jasper on a camping trip with some of his buddies. Can you look at the list of stuff that I’m bringing along and tell me if I left anything off? *Sends list*

Rosemary: Baby, I’ve never been camping before in my life, but I know that you’ve never been ill prepared for anything, a single day of your life. I’m sure if there’s something to think about that you’ve thought about it. Some of that stuff, I wouldn’t have even thought of.

Adanna: Friend, I think that you’re overthinking your relationship every since the ring. You know what’s best for yourself and Jasper. You’ve known for years, from what he’s told me and his dad. He thinks that you’re the smartest person alive and the most caring. Just trust yourself. You don’t need to ask us these things.

Charlotte: I just have never thought that I would ever be a fiancee or wife and it seems like I have to, idk, do something above and beyond? No?

Rosemary:You think that I’m over here going above and beyond? Honey, your dad is lucky if he gets my best as exhausting as it is to live with a man. As long as you love him, that will show up in how you treat him and what you do. There doesn’t need to be extra stuff…

Charlotte started another chat, with just her mother and Adanna: Okay… but, Jasper has a very rocky childhood and his family wasn’t really very loving, so I feel the way that I feel because I feel like I have to still undo some of the programming he’s had of what love is. I’ve sent him “I love you” messages before he goes to bed, every single night for almost 4 years now, just to try to get it in his mind that who loves you is the person who does nice things for you and to you. I have reminders in my phone to give him compliments, just as a self esteem booster, even though I know he gets plenty of fan love or whatever. I just… wanna do this right, you know? I didn’t wanna say all that in front of his mom. 

Rosemary: Would she even care?

Charlotte: I don’t know, but he would. That’s his mom. He’ll always love her, no matter what.

Rosemary: I dread my grandchildren being exposed to somebody like that.

Adanna: Why don’t you have everyone over and try to speak with her about the things that are unresolved? 

Charlotte: Like… everyone? Why not just you and Mom? 

Adanna: Sure, that sounds good to me.

Rosemary: I’ll do anything for you, Charlotte. She’d better watch herself…

.

She planned it for after the camping trip, which was fine. She wasn’t super excited to spend time with Jasper’s friends, but somehow, they were all so much more bearable than they usually seemed. Maybe everyone was growing up now, but not too much. All the ladies kept asking about wedding details and Jasper loved dishing about that, while Charlotte just kind of smiled uncomfortably, not wanting to admit that she didn’t know half this information and sort of having to bond with the fellas anytime it started up. “How’d he finally convince you?” Fisher asked. “I wanna know what to avoid.” He winked at her and she rolled her eyes. He simply clanked his beer bottle against hers and took a drink. 

“I’ve known for a while that I’d be with Jasper for a long time, if he remembered that I care, and he eventually did.” She shrugged her shoulders and took a sip of her rose beer (which was the only beer that she drank); she was a wine or daiquiri girl.

“Well, he initially told us whenever he first mentioned you that you were the woman he wanted to marry. I’m talking when we were pledging. He was all stressed out and sweaty, worried about the amount of time and energy he had to put into pledging. I thought he was crazy, but then we saw you and I was like, Ahhh, I get it now.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

“That you’re hot,” he said and smiled. She pursed her lips and looked at him. “What?”

“You’re the dude who had everyone calling me Warden Page freshman year!”

“So?” She scoffed and shook her head. “Anyway, when are you two getting married?”

“Probably after senior year. I’ll still have some studies, but by that time, Jasper will probably be restless being a fiance and want to get the official stuff done.”

“When you say senior year, you mean like after next year, or after Big Dog gets the rest of his credits?” She looked confused. “With the whole major change thing…?”

“Oh! Oh, that!” She had no idea wtf he was talking about, “Yeah. Probably after THAT. The whole major thing…” She stuffed the bottle back into her mouth, finished and said, “I’m gonna go to the cooler for another. You need one of yours?”

“Yes, please, Warden Page.” She narrowed her eyes but was smiling gently. 

.

Charlotte waited until after the trip to ask Jasper, “So… what is the whole major thing… something with your credits?” He thought for a moment, then realized that they hadn’t discussed this yet and also that someone must’ve brought it up.

“Okay, I meant to talk to you about it, but I hadn’t figured out how to, just yet.”

“Why not in the same way that you told your bros?” She said, with a tight smile, trying not to be angry. Whatever this was, they could handle it.

“Well, I told them because I didn’t know if I’d need to stick around and live in the frat house for a little longer, because I switched to a double major and might have to add about a year, probably less! To… to… my transcript…” He looked so worried that she was going to be upset with him, but she was relieved. She didn’t know what she thought that he’d say, but she thought it was about to be awful. 

“Okay. Well, next time, please talk to me about things like this. Why… Why don’t we just… Maybe get an apartment together or something? I know that you’re at mine a lot already, but it’s a little small for you to you know, move all of your things in.”

“I’d prefer that we waited until after I’m done with school.”

“Okay… do you also wanna wait until then to get married?”

“Yeah. I think it’s the responsible thing to do, right?” He gave her a half smile, tentative, like he was really waiting on her to answer him.

“Right… But, also… if you’re reconsidering… I get it… I’d you know… understand…”

His eyes grew wide, “You’d understand? I wouldn’t understand that at all. Why would I have second thoughts about being with you?” 

“I don’t know. You just were super excited and ready to marry me ASAP, and now, you’re going to school longer, don’t wanna live with me AND want to prolong the wedding date.”

“I don’t want any of those things. I’m trying to make sure that I’m doing right by the woman who says that she’ll have me for the rest of my life. That’s something I take more serious than anything else. We’re gonna be a family, build a family… I’m not gonna build it on immature mistakes and hollow hopes. I’m… trying to do the work to be good enough.”

“You’re beyond good enough.”

“Good enough to feel good about it all. If we get an apartment and I have to cut corners somewhere, or accumulate debt or something - that affects us negatively and I just… I’m not doing that. I refuse to do that. I’m gonna be a good man, but also a real man.”

“You’re already that, Jasper. Never forget this, please?” She gave him a hug and kissed him on the chin, then grabbed a handful of butt. It was right there, so she kinda had to.

“I appreciate the level of butt stuff that I’ve gained by proposing,” he said and pulled her in by hers to kiss her. She didn’t know what he was talking about. She’d been playing on that donk since year one… She used to bounce stuff off of it.

.

Henry had the pleasure of bringing Jasper’s mom to Charlotte’s. Rosemary and Adanna rode together and pulled in shortly before Henry did. Henry and Jasper rushed to hug each other upon his arrival and Henry had a huge binder with material, colors, etc… stuff that you just wouldn’t be able to see very well on the computer or phone. He said he’d go say hi to Char and Jasper smiled towards his mother and said, “Thank you so much for coming. It really means a lot to us that you made the time.” She nodded, but didn’t offer anything else. But, whenever Rosemary and Adanna got out of Adanna’s van both women squealed happily and rushed to hug him. 

Charlotte sighed from the window as Henry came in and looked over her shoulder. “Whatcha lookin’ at?” 

She shook her head, “She didn’t even try to hug him. Everybody hugged him BUT her. This is the type of stuff that I have to help him through. She doesn’t even TRY! Why have a kid?”

“At least she only had one.”

The others came inside and Adanna immediately placed her hand over her heart, “I love the energy in this place, so much.” Rosemary hugged her daughter, then Adanna and Charlotte pulled Pansy into a hug, whether she wanted it or not. Jasper wrapped his hands around Charlotte’s waist from the back and said, “Let me know if you need anything.” He kissed her on the cheekbone and said, “I’m gonna look at this wedding stuff Hen’s got.” Lady and Tramp came running out of the bedroom and Jasper called them over to him, and he and Henry each grabbed one and went out to the patio with them and their stuff. 

“Want a drink or anything?” Jasper wondered.

“What have you got?”

“Juice or like all kinds, water, and I’m sure Char has some wine and rose beer.”

“Rose beer? That sounds gross. Is it gross?”

“No idea. I don’t drink, Man.”

“Oh yeah. I mean, I know you don’t drink, but you haven’t curiously tasted it or anything?”

“Naw. I don’t need to put that shit in my body,” Jasper said, petting Tramp’s head. Really, he was afraid of drinking. What if he had a problem with it, like his dad? He wasn’t gonna risk Charlotte the way that Jack Leigh had risked he and his mom. Speaking of, he glanced into the living room to see Charlotte inviting the ladies to be seated and letting them know what refreshments she had available.

.

“There’s sweet potato bites, varying garnishing like avocado, tomato and radish sprouts, or ricotta, cranberry walnut… I couldn’t decide which recipe was better. There’s also cucumber wrapped chicken or seafood with greek yogurt dip… some fruit, and Jasper’s got some goat and lamb in the kitchen… for dinner, with the sides and stuff. Anyway! There’s also spritzers.” 

“Charlotte, relax. Have a seat,” Rosemary advised. “We’re not hard to please. We’re here to support you, not for food.”

“Thanks, Mom.” She sat down and asked Jasper’s mom, “How are you? How was the drive?”

She looked put on the spot, but answered politely, “Henry drove. It was fine.” 

Charlotte nodded and smiled, then sat back in her seat. “Jasper took off tonight from the parlor, so that he and Henry could catch up, but he’s probably gonna pop in and out of here, just because he worries a lot. I’m thinking of suggesting that he moves on up to an in-person therapist. He’s been doing the therapy text service for years now and I think it’s been super helpful, but I really think that he could benefit more from someone face to face.” Pansy squirmed a little, but she didn’t say anything. “For instance, he told me that he just wants to get everything right, he doesn’t wanna get a divorce or remarry or anything like that, so he’s tacked on some more courses and we’re not going to get married or officially move in together until after that’s done.”

“That sounds like a wise choice!” Rosemary offered.

“It is, but it's not Jasper, you know? He’s impulsive. He’s very take action. He doesn’t usually plan it out this way.”

“That’s your influence, Sweetheart. Be proud of it.”

“I just really want us to be married already!” Charlotte said and was embarrassed after she did.

“Oh my God… Are you pregnant?” Pansy sat up abruptly and asked.

“What? No! I have a perfect GPA and educational and career trajectory. If I get pregnant, it’s gonna be on purpose, even with your son’s virility.”

Rosemary recoiled, “What does that mean?”

Casually, Charlotte said, “Oh, I took a sample from him to test it in the lab. He is extremely fertile. We won’t have any issues whenever we’re ready to create children… I just really love him and ever since he proposed, all that I can think about is what it’s gonna be like to be his wife. I know that isn’t very feminist, but he’s the kind of person that you just know will be excellent at these things. I’m slightly impatient about it and now it’s being pushed further away.”

Rosemary smiled and told the others, “I know what’s happening here. Whenever Jasper proposed, Charlotte’s brain plotted out a timeline of events and she maybe even made a vision board shortly afterwards to factor in that she now was gonna be a wife, and she’s made the adjustments and committed them to memory. She likes comfort and a huge change is making her uncomfortable, therefore, anxious. All she needs is a new plan of action for her timeline, but she does not like to have to change plans.”

“Mom, I am VERY versatile. I’ve had to make a lot of adaptable changes at work.”

“Changes that affected your home life?” Her mom asked. Charlotte frowned and grabbed a sweet potato. “Thought so. So… where do things change, on your last timeline?”

"I THOUGHT that I was getting married in less than a year… but now it's closer to two years."

"Have you told Jasper about how much you want to marry him sooner?" Adanna asked.

"No. I could tell he was serious about the route that he wants to go and I wanted to make sure that I don't persuade him into anything that he might resent me for later. He's very… afraid of making mistakes with serious stuff. I can't pressure him knowing how scared he is of failing."

"You don't pressure him. I'm suggesting just telling him how you feel."

She looked at his mom, "What do you think about it?"

"I think that kids get married so quickly these days and then they just fall apart. It's better to wait." Rosemary rolled her eyes and Pansy quickly tacked on, “I did the same thing and it affected my only child for the rest of his life and affected my life, too. So, I’m just throwing caution into the wind. Be sure that it’s what you are willing to do, not just what you think that you want.”

“My daughter makes good decisions,” Rosemary said.

“I’m sure.”

“What do you mean, “I’m sure?” Rosemary asked, her eyebrows up in challenge.

Pansy sighed and said, “She makes good grades and what-have-you. I don’t doubt that she’s a smart girl. I also know that being smart isn’t the only qualifier for being a good wife or good partner…”

“What are the other qualifiers on your list, Miss Pansy?” Charlotte asked and Rosemary leaned in closer, with pursed lips staring almost directly into Pansy’s face. Charlotte tried really hard not to snap, but since BEFORE she and Jasper were together, when she hadn’t even been a consideration, this woman had an issue with her and she was convinced it was because she was too brown for her liking, but she wanted to hear her admit to something, since they had the air and opportunity. 

“Well, you have to be willing to put up with a lot. Jasper is very needy and demanding. You’ve gotta have a lot of patience. He’s sweet, but not the smartest boy around and can haphazardly jump into unwise decisions. He wants a lot of attention and validation, and can be extremely exhausting about it…”

“Ever think that was because he was starved for those things?” Charlotte reflexively asked. Pansy gasped and Rosemary snorted. Adanna covered her mouth with a hand, but didn’t react beyond that. Charlotte was there, now. The woman had taken her there. “Listen, I can’t say that you made bad decisions. I don’t know your heart or your mind. I don’t know your intentions. What I can say is that I know Jasper. He’s NOT needy and demanding. He wants someone to show him love and he deserves that, so to me - that isn’t a burden. He’s VERY smart. But, he doesn’t know everything. He was semi-sheltered and didn’t have a frame of reference for a lot of stuff, but whenever he had the chance to go out into the world and learn and experience things, instead of having conversation topics and true facts withheld from him, whether out of misplaced protectiveness or shirking uncomfortable responsibility - Jasper is an all A student who is seen as an activist in this town. He’s a community leader. He still has weird ideas sometimes, but he’s also helped reformed a lot of things around here that a lot of these people didn’t have the drive or the heart to ever face head on and try to tackle. And it isn’t exhausting that he wants lots of attention and validation. It's heartbreaking, because I know for a fact that he didn’t get it from home and I know that I have to be one of the most present and stable suppliers of it, because even though he’s shown everyone that none of the things you just said about him are accurate, you still treat him that way, and your his mom, the person that he would most want to treat him how he deserves to be treated. He has to get that from Internet fame, from campus popularity, from town celebrity, and whenever he comes home to me, it still wasn’t what he was looking for, because he wants it real, from somebody that he loves. Currently, that’s me. I’m that supply. We’ve been together almost 4 years now, and you have yet to tell him that you’re proud of him, or that he’s made a good decision, or that you LOVE him, WITHOUT invalidating it shortly after with some contradictory behavior. You have yet to tell him that you’re happy for him, for winning competitions and trophies, and making dean’s lists and having a hand in public policy reform. Are you… a fucking soulless monster?” Charlotte’s voice cracked. Rosemary was ready to fight, now. Hurting your own child was bad enough, but now she had spread her malice to Rosemary’s child and that wasn’t something that Bolton folk tolerated. 

Jasper had peeked into the room and saw Charlotte’s face and told Henry he’d be back. The woman turned whenever the patio door opened and Jasper threw a pissed off glance in Pansy’s direction, certain that whatever was wrong with Charlotte, she was the cause of it. “Babe, you okay?” He asked, in a gentle tone and went right to her, collecting her hands and trying to get her to make eye contact with him. “Come on, let’s regroup, okay?” He helped her up and brought her into the bedroom. Their mothers began to quietly bicker about what had just happened and what had been happening. Jasper sat Charlotte on the bed and told her, “If you want her to leave, I’ll go tell her to leave, right now. No questions asked.” He cupped her cheek. “She can hurt me all she wants, but I draw the line at her hurting you. You do too much and you don’t deserve that.”

“You don’t either.”

“I know, I know, but…”

“But she’s your mom and you love her? But, what? She raised you? At least she was there? Please, help me understand why she’s so important to you that she gets to hurt you for 22 consecutive years and be brought along with you while you try to break out of the cocoon of that strife?”

“I… will let her go, if that’s what you think I should do.”

“I don’t… That’s not what I’m trying to do - make you feel like you need to let your mom go. I just want to understand it.”

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “Well… I want to know that I did everything in my power to make sure that she felt like I was worth it. I want to feel like IF I ever did have to leave her behind, there was no other choice. I just don’t like the thought of leaving somebody behind just because they’re not who you’d want them to be. She didn’t do that to me. She kept me close, and she could’ve given me up. She let relationships fall apart whenever her husbands didn’t want me. She… wasn’t perfect, but she tried. I think that she’s been hurt, too. And she doesn;t have anybody else to tell her to contact a therapist, or focus in hard on loving her, and trying to build with her… I’m it. I’m all that she has. My stepdad doesn’t even look at her anymore. I know how it feels to have people around and still feel lonely. I don’t want that for my mom, no matter if she’s not nice to me. No matter if she might deserve that. Because, what if she doesn’t? What if there’s something that we just don’t know and she doesn’t know how to tell us? I just… don’t want to hurt anybody like that. Not even her.”

“But, you would, if you thought that was what I wanted?”

“I would do what was best for you, if I had no other options, yes.” 

She sighed and shook her head, “I’d never ask you to sacrifice your morals. I just hate that those are what brings you pain.” She cupped his face and they kissed. As though kissing could release every bit of stress and turmoil carried into the room and nothing else could. It was a moment before Jasper noticed that they weren’t alone. He broke the kiss and turned to stare at his mother, who was staring at the ground. Charlotte’s eyes followed, then she rolled them and got up to leave. Pansy caught her wrist, gently, then quickly let go.

“I’m sorry,” she said in a quiet voice. That was new. She let go of Charlotte and looked up at Jasper. Charlotte stuck around. “I should have been better to you, for you. It’s entirely possible that I resented you, because of Jack… That’s not fair and nobody ever wants to admit it. We want to think that we did our best and that we were good parents. We make a ton of excuses. Mine being, at least I was around, at least I wasn’t a drunk who almost killed him in car, at least I didn’t hang out with potheads and shady musicians and witches!” Jasper was speechless. She came into the room and sat next to him. “I hated your father. I still hate him. Whenever I agreed to let him see you, I hated it, but it seemed like what you wanted, so I tried. He was cordial. He seemed like he was changed, like he was trying… then he showed up one day with this WOMAN who he’d met through Roscoe Bolton, of all people!”

“You mean Adanna? The nicest woman in the world, who he met through Uncle Rox, the coolest dude in the world?” Jasper corrected her.

“I mean Adanna, who I recognized as a woman who built up a witch shop on her marijuana revenue, who he met through one of the only people that I’ve ever hated as much as Jack!”

“Wait. You hate MY uncle? Everybody loves my uncle, and it doesn’t make sense to me because he’s always been kind of a wreck until a few years ago, but what did you have against my uncle?”

“He wasn’t good company!” Pansy practically squealed. “He didn’t make Jack do anything, so it’s not like I blame him for Jack’s discrepancies, but first of all, he was a shady musician, always convincing Jack to come with him on tours for weeks, despite knowing that he had a pregnant wife at home who needed him…”

“You also needed money and Dad’s job wasn’t making enough. Those tours were!” Jasper fussed, defensively. She’d hit a nerve bringing Uncle Rox into this, especially after whatever she’d done to upset Charlotte.

“I would have preferred to struggle a little bit than to be lonely and depressed while I was pregnant. And Roscoe kept introducing him to women, who like I said, it’s not his fault, but why even do so? Just remind him to call me. Why is it so hard to just say, ‘I know we’re touring, but don’t forget why you’re doing this?’ You know why? Because he understood, like Jack did that the only reason he married me was because of you and when I saw that he was still communicating with that man and still meeting women through him, I figured he was probably still going on tours, smoking pot, drinking, losing himself in the arms of some pretty thing and trying to clean up for his visits and I-” She clenched her fists. “I wasn’t going to be that stupid anymore. I didn’t expect to take my anger out on you. I didn’t expect to treat you like you were Jack and I didn’t expect to treat your friend like she was Roscoe, but whenever I saw the two of you together, all I could think about were the nights that all I got was a drunken phone call asking about my son, who I was at home with, by myself, stressed, depressed, infuriated and barely holding it together, while he partied and drank and couldn’t hold down a decent job to save his miserable life. You came home one day, and said that you met this cool dude, your friend’s uncle. You were so excited to meet him and you thought he was so cool and looked up to him and I knew who he was and I told you to stay away from him. You ignored me. You never ignored me, but you did… Like your father.”

“Okay,” Charlotte interrupted, sick of this, “I get that. I would be extremely pissed off at people who affected my life in that way too, but Jasper didn’t do that to you.”

“I realize that. I’m not making any excuses. I’m just… trying to… open up to my son…”

Charlotte sighed and said, “Okay. Jasper, I’m gonna be out here, if you need me.” She didn’t want to hear any more of this, but Jasper looked worried about her leaving. “Unless you want me to stay?”

“Please?” He asked, in a low voice. She returned to his side and wrapped her hands around his, looking at his crying mom with zero sympathy. As far as she was concerned, the woman was turning things around and what she just needed to say were a few things: I was wrong. I’m sorry. You deserve better. I will do better. Charlotte didn’t give a damn about any other words. But, she looked at Jasper’s empathetic face. He did. He gave a damn about this woman. He always would. THIS was one of those sacrifices that people spoke about. Because, there was no way that she could be with him and not have to put up with this chick, at least sometimes. She freed one of her hands to stroke his hair and it broke his trance a little bit. He glanced at her and smiled, his eyes lit up and for a moment, he forgot that he was listening to this sob story from the person who had hurt him for most of his life. 

“I’m so sorry. I was wrong and I don’t know how to fix it, but I want to try. That’s why I’ve been trying to be involved and why I’m here. I just want to do better in the future…” Pansy eventually uttered. Charlotte could almost visibly see a huge weight lifted off of Jasper’s chest and shoulders and mind… Like… She could visually spot the worry lines evaporate and see the insecurity melt away. It was extremely weird, but beautiful. And, she still didn’t have a fuck to give about that lady, but the way that Jasper hugged her, the comfort that he took in that declaration, whether or not Charlotte trusted it, it made her heart swell. He deserved those things. And she’d better be true about trying to give them to him.

[supercitofus]

frat au bit

‘Jesus Christ..’ The first words Barty heard all morning, came from a disappointed-looking Evan Rosier, who was staring at him as he walked into their chemistry lab, with a disbelieving smile on his face.

It was a warranted reaction, frankly. Barty was not in his finest hour, dressed in a pair of joggers, dirty, worn, joggers, that hung low on his waist, his signature black tank top, because of course, backward atop his head sat the same god-awful red cap he wore near daily, and a pair of orange Ray-Bans. He was carrying a plastic water bottle, and he stumbled as he walked. 

Barty had no doubt he looked disgusting, probably had some smudged sharpie on his face, and smelled of vodka. But he was there, he had showed up to his lab nonetheless. It was the small victories.

He slunk into his seat beside Evan, groaning with every step. His head was spinning, stomach churning. It was so bright in the lab, and it was physically paining him. ‘You look like shit.’ Evan was still laughing at him, he had a grin spread across his face. Barty was dying, he didn't have time to reply to Evan's insults. He hummed incoherently instead. 

[static-radio-ao3]

@jegulus-microfic // december 16 // prompt: eyes closed // words: 481 // frat boy james au: part 1 + part 2 + part 3

"You're staring," James says, voice somehow fond and smug at the same time.

If you could see him, you'd understand why Regulus was staring, even if he'll always deny it. James, cheeks flushed and nose red. A few stray snowflakes are caught in the mess of his hair, snapback long giney, but they melt rapidly with the temperature change in the cafe. James looks handsome like this. He always does, but well, Regulus can't tell him that, now can he?

"I'm literally not," he counters. "My eyes are closed."

James turns to face him, making direct eye contact. Regulus squeezes them shut so hard he sees stars for a moment.

"Whatever you say, sweetheart."

Driving Home for Christmas plays faintly in the background as they make their way to their table. Theirs, as in, the same one they sit at every week for their study date. Emphasis on date rather than study, but it's the thought that counts (it really isn't).

"The house wants to do a Christmas event," James says once they've ordered their drinks. "Probably next weekend. I think the idea is to either collect money and donate it directly, or use it to buy gifts and then donate those."

"That sounds nice. Are you doing another kissing booth?" He hopes the question comes out neutral.

"Well, I'd need to ask you, wouldn't I? You're the old ball and chain now." He pauses when the waitress returns with their drinks. Flashes her a smile in thanks and eagerly curls his hands around the steaming mug. "Besides, I need to make sure we actually collect, since we don't have you to bankroll our entire charity project anymore."

Regulus rolls his eyes so hard he thinks he sees the inside of his skull. James is so very lucky Regulus is love with him. "Are you ever going to let that go? You're almost worse than Barty at this point."

James tilts his head in consideration, ponders it for a moment or two. Then, "Probably not."

With a huff, Regulus reaches for his own mug of hot chocolate, but before he can grab it, a cold hand circles his wrist, tugging at him until he's facing James.

"What," Regulus mutters. James laughs, but it's a puff of air more than anything. He's about to say something, sorry or I love you or sweetheart, but stops when Regulus lifts his free hand.

He curls a finger under the thin gold chain James is wearing. Notices how goosebumps erupt on his neck when his cold fingers touch the skin there. A single tug on the chain and James sways forward, like how the tide follows the moon. Easy.

Regulus is about to tell him as much, but then James closes the distance between them. Cold chapped lips find his and Regulus feels warm all over. Doesn't even need to squeeze his eyes to see stars.

[foursaints]

please!!! i am begging!!!!! literally anything you have to say about rosekiller!!!!! i am screaming and crying and clawing at the seams for your headcanons!!!!!!! i have been thinking about dentist!evan for so long!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i’ve been talking about them being blood-sucking freaks on here a lot (which is valid) but i do want to emphasize the ways they help each other grow as people… like understanding barty is evan rosier’s first fucked up step toward seeing other humans as autonomous beings. the years spent chasing after evan were the first time poor imperiused barty crouch had ever felt like an actual Person

like part of the fun of rosekiller is that they’re not “toxic” to me. okay yes they’re dismembering innocent people and sometimes each other but as partners they are fundamentally good for & uniquely suited to each other. think about it like……. a boy who was born broken & a lifelong healer obsessed with stitching ugly things into lovable shapes. the strangest, loneliest, least lovable child in the world & a maladjusted codependent guard dog who loves too hard for his own good. the world’s first authentically punk frat-star fuckboy & an angry sentient haunted victorian doll in mismatched goodwill clothes.

to anybody else the pair of them is HORRIFIC but they’re exactly matched to each others peculiarities. through each other’s eyes they’re perfect. barty singing juicewrld so loudly in the shower at 5am and evan pummeling his shins about it is something that can be so healing, actually,

[supercitofus]

barty in the frat au wears this exact fit

evan is dressed a lot more appropriately. also search bar is crazy

[static-radio-ao3]

@jegulus-microfic // september 24 // prompt: capture // words: 580 // part 1 + part 3 + part 4

Regulus would like to tell you he is here against his will but, unfortunately, that would be a lie.

When James texted him that the frat was doing charity events all week, the car wash flashed through his mind. He is not proud, but his first thought was maybe I can borrow Barty’s car to go to the car wash again. His second thought was what the fuck.

But then James mentioned an activities fair and a kissing booth and all of a sudden, Regulus is standing in line to be kissed. By James Potter.

The line is ridiculously long, which really shouldn’t be a surprise. He caught a glimpse of James earlier. He is once again wearing that dumb fucking snap back and that dumb fucking chain around his neck, but at least there is a shirt this time. Silver linings.

The line inches forward and finally, Regulus makes it to the front. James throws his head back and cackles when he sees Regulus.

“Oh, sweetheart, if you wanted to kiss me, you could’ve just asked. Although I do think you should take me to dinner first,” James tells him. Regulus wants to throttle him. And kiss him. It’s a confusing combination.

“Shut up,” Regulus says. He glances at the menu hanging behind James. It’s two dollars for a kiss on the cheek and five dollars for a kiss on the lips. He hands James a five-dollar bill. “It’s for charity.”

“Well, in that case, c’mere.”

James leans forward, one hand sliding into Regulus’ hair. Regulus can feel James’ breath ghost over the side of his face right as his eyes flutter closed. James captures his lips in a kiss. It’s chaste, a bit more than a peck, but only barely. It’s nothing toe-curling, but still, Regulus’ toes curl.

It lasts less than a minute, probably, but it feels longer. Or maybe it really is longer, because a pointed cough behind him makes him pull away from the kiss. A girl is tapping her foot impatiently and Regulus barely contains a sneer.

“Pleasure doing business with you,” James says with a pleased smile on his face. He tips an imaginary hat at Regulus as he turns away. Which, by the way, looks idiotic considering the fact that James is actually wearing a hat, just backward.

Regulus walks back the way he came, silently counting the number of people currently in line. Eleven. That’s… hmm…

Regulus doesn’t know what comes over him. Jealousy, lust, possessiveness, something else entirely, maybe. But he suddenly finds himself at the back of the line. Again.

Time moves at a snail’s pace, and so does the queue for James’ dumb fucking kissing booth. More people have joined behind him, waiting for their turn, and Regulus feels his eye twitch in annoyance. He does a breathing exercise. Hums a Ke$ha song. Counts the blades of grass but gives up when he loses track for the fifth time. And then finally, it’s his turn again.

James looks startled to see him, but he hides it easily behind a smirk. “Back for more, Reggie?” he asks.

“Shut up," Regulus says, slamming a fifty-dollar bill down on the counter. "Whatever this can get me, I’ll take. It’s for charity, okay?"

James simply laughs, puts the bill in the money jar, and flips the sign from open to closed. Everyone in line behind him groans, but Regulus doesn’t hear it, because James is reeling him in again for a kiss.