#free time because this is ow my mind works and the stress i feel because of it? it's eating me from the inside like i literally can't focus

[seenthisepisode]

.

[squiddy-god]

STOOPPPP THAT WAS SO GOOD. reader randomly appearing in twst and being stressed tf out, constantly wanting to go back to their duties finding themself slowly realizing this is the first time they’ve ever had freedom and autonomy. i love that so much. imagine them witnessing riddles overblot!! seeing him overcome his years of ingrained rules that his mother enforced onto him. ooh i bet it’s a conversation with jamil where he says like “if i woke up in a different universe, i’d never wanna go back. free for the rest of my life? absolutely.” that really makes it set in.

Reader going through a mid life crisis at 18 is,,, it's definitely something lmao!

But seriously talking to so many of the characters would cause such a mind breaking epiphany in readers minds.

You ask Jamil who's always level headed what he'd do and he straight up tells you that if given the chance to be free and live how he wants he'd take it without question

Watching riddle break down and finally realize he has value outside of his usefulness, that he can make mistakes and still be loved

I think all of that breaks reader down to the point where they realize they don't want to leave, they feel guilty in two ways, both because they need to work through the guilt of feeling like they owe something to their old world, and the other half is they don't want to intrude on this world, they feel like if they get close they'll get pushed away like in their old world

That's why I think malleus is such a pivotal moment

MC wakes up and rather than fighting Ob!malleus they just,,, hug him and cry,,, he was desperate to keep things together, crushed by the idea of his first friend leaving that he overbloted. For the first time you realize that these people, these friends do want you to stay

Malleus is genuinely so shocked he snaps out of his overblot. Your both sobbing, your both hugging so tight you can't tell who's clinging on more desperately

Everyone is crying, everyone is hugging and you are just ugly sobbing how you don't wanna leave

Ace is like "we don't want you to leave either dumbass" ignore he's crying too lmaoo.

I really love the idea of a late night talk with Jamil where you end up bonding over the fact your in very similar situations, the difference is you had a nice ring. Either way you're both trapped. When he says that he would take the chance at freedom without hesitation, that he'd never look back... It makes you pause for a good second, looking into his eyes for any hint of deceit or sarcasm... You hope you see it... But he's being honest, an open book or a mirror you can't tell the difference. "I... Don't want to leave but-" and he cuts you off. "But what? Have you already forgotten that you still have your whole life ahead of you?"

And he's right, for the first time you realize how young you are, how young Jamil is. That you both have your whole life ahead of both of you. And you realize that you don't have to feel guilty for wanting to be happy.

Honestly this Au is becoming pretty interesting and I'd love to hear more thoughts about it!

Any suggestions on what it should be called?

[broomsick]

any tips for starting out when working with deities?

Hi, friend! Thank you for the ask, and sorry for the late reply. I've posted tips for beginners many times in the past, most of which you can find via links in this post. But now, since we're talking about working with deities more specifically, I'll list a few quick tips in a point form!

The golden rule to deity work, in my opinion, is respect. Everyone interacts with their deities with varying amounts of familiarity, but one quality always remains no matter the worshipper, and that is respect. But that goes without saying, right? 'Treat others how you want to be treated' makes no exceptions, even with non-human entities.

To me, the first step to respecting a deity is acknowledging their depth and multi-faceted nature. Mythological sources may describe this or that deity as the 'God of this or that', but in the context of religion, they are much more. The believer views the God as more than a mythological figure, but as a complex existing being.

For this reason, another tip I'll give is to get to know them. Learn as much as you can about them, and never stop learning. Not only about the deity/deities themselves, but also (and I think it's crucial not to neglect this!) about the cultural context in which they were first worshipped. I can't stress enough how big of a difference this makes when it comes to understanding a God. If you're interested, I've linked here a few of my favorite sources pertaining to nordic cultures, religions and history!

To me, offerings are not transactional. That is just my own belief, of course, but I don't adhere to the idea that 'one must give to the Gods in order to earn blessings and vice versa'. Paganism is not a trade market, but rather a way to experience spirituality. I believe in making offerings when you can, if you can, as a gesture of gratitude and not as a way to somehow 'earn blessings'. As a pagan, you do not "owe" anything to the Gods they do not "owe" you anything either.

Do not be afraid to simply spend time with them. While we may not always feel their presence, you can have faith in the fact that they watch over you. And for this reason, it's perfectly okay for you to sit down at your altar, or in the outdoors, to simply talk to them, symbolically sharing a drink/meal, telling them of your troubles or of how they inspire you. Developing this habit can help make you feel connected to a deity, even on a tight schedule, or during times when you feel disconnected from your spirituality.

In the same vein, it can be fulfilling and fun for you to dedicate certain activities to a deity of your choice! For example, practicing your instrument in honor of Bragi, or hiking in honor of Jörð, etc... What's more, whenever you dedicate an activity to a deity, you can invite them to partake in it, as I've described in this previous post!

Start to notice what things in your life reminds you of them. Maybe a certain smell? Or a song? What animals, meals, stories of else bring this deity to mind? Either because of the similar feeling they instill in you, or because you think this or that deity might enjoy them.

As a beginner, you needn't feel bad about how many deities you work with, or which deities you reach out to (so long as they are not part of a closed practice). I've always thought it weird how in some books centered around witchcraft, they'll rank deities in order of 'how experienced you need to be to reach out to them'. If you want my own honest opinion, anyone is free to reach out to any deity. No God is more difficult to work with than others. It all comes down to the individual, their values and the way they choose to work with the deity in question. I'm also not a big fan of such sources encouraging calling out to a deity during a ritual/spell like they're a tool for a magical working, if the practionner doesn't plan to really get to know them. But that's a topic for another day.

It can be greatly fulfilling as well to simply ponder a deity from time to time. What do they teach you? What can you learn from their example? What do they represent in your life? I listed in this post a few ideas of questions to ask yourself in order to better understand a deity and their presence in your life.

Take it step by step, day by day, and don't feel bad if you think you've made a mistake. We are all constantly learning. The Gods know we are human, and they reflect us in that way: they themselves have their strengths and weaknesses.

I hope this helps, but please do keep in mind that these are all my personal views on paganism, and that not every practionner will resonate with them. In any case, don't hesitate to ask if you have any other question(s) regarding practice or belief in the nordic path. Have a good day, my friend.

[vladdyissues]

I don't know how you do it, Dude, I'm afraid to say that I'm attracted to pompous pep since I know it's wrong to ship a minor and an adult, People are cruel to death, Nobody knows what I like, I hide among the anonymous messages of the internet, Sometimes I see people like you who have their account free mind, People talk very badly about accounts like you, even putting them in places in the fandom to talk badly about them, Fear runs through me, I want to draw pompous Pep, Maybe I'm not attracted to the sexual, But I really feel like it's wrong and it hurts me

You've been at this for a while, right? Your account is full of pompous Pep (I secretly love your account), How did you manage to have the courage to show yourself?, People look at you badly, say bad things, that you are a sick pedophile and that...How do you achieve this without fear???, are you so brave or god 😭

1️⃣ I'm from old school fandom—pre-Twitter, pre-AO3, pre-Internet-as-we-now-know-it. I've learned to not give a fuck about what stupid, ignorant, uninformed people say on the Internet.

2️⃣ It's not my job to educate or "convert" people who disagree with me. I'm not a missionary. I'm here to have fun, and no one is going to spoil that for me.

3️⃣ I—and you, and anyone else reading this—don't owe anyone on the Internet an explanation, a reason, or any kind of justification for writing stories or drawing pictures of fictional cartoon characters smooching. (It's all so silly, honestly. I have real things to care about, like bills and pets and laundry. I envy people who have nothing to stress about except ink and paint from a 20-year-old Nickelodeon show.)

4️⃣ The media—specifically, the fictional entertainment—we enjoy is not a reflection of our humanity, morality, or an indication of our personal beliefs. If that were true, the police would be arresting authors like Stephen King and George RR Martin for writing about underage sex and incest and gore, as well as anyone who enjoys their works.

You know who does believe that reading something will "pervert" you, or that enjoying "dark things" like murder and violence and age gap ships means you must secretly be committing those things in real life? Fascists. Conservatives. Right-wing nationalist fundamentalist Christian types. People who want to ban queer books from libraries and call anyone who disagrees with them "pedophiles" and "groomers". Remember that the next time you see one of these fandom cops screeching about how so-and-so is a "pedo" because they ship two cartoons. These are people on the wrong side of history. They're anti-intellectual, anti-education, and pro-censorship. Get away from them as fast as you can.

Anon, if it seems like a lot of your friends (or the people you're around) are hating on something you want to enjoy and making you feel unsafe to talk about the things you like, then you need to find better friends. Leave them. Block them. Add their usernames to your content filters so you never have to see their ugly, hateful opinions ever again. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life, especially here on Tumblr, where we're all trying to find things that make us happy and celebrate others' creative works. Life's too short to hang around shitty people 💩

[immajustvibehere]

Would you be willing to do more low honor arthur? I don’t really have any specific idea in mind, whatever you want to create! I love your writing! <3

A Deal Worth Taking

I feel like there is a lot lh!Arthur x fem!reader smut out there, but I wanted to go for a fun little interaction. Because you can't convince me that Arthur wouldn't still be a soft boi for his s/o while being mean to everyone else >:)

700 words, less than 10 minutes reading time

Arthur waited outside of the saloon; you were still inside, finishing your drink. Arthur had left in advance for some peace and quiet and was now smoking his cigarette in solitude behind the saloon. It was then that a man approached you. He clearly had had something to drink, but his words didn't slur yet, when he asked you how much you cost per night. You smiled kindly and told him to follow you outside, where prices can be discussed.

Exiting through the back door, with the gentleman following eagerly, you exchanged a glance with Arthur. No words were needed, Arthur had already figured out the situation at hand. It wasn't the first time you were approached like that, and Arthur found great pleasure in finding inventive solutions of getting off those men. To him, firmly establishing and claiming you as his was always gave him pleasure.

So, the three of you stood in the dark back alley.

"You want her?", Arthur asked and stubbed out his cigarette on the wall.

"You owe her or something?", the man looked Arthur sceptically up and down, only unwillingly peeling his gaze from you.

"I do. I got a whole lotta girls working for me, she's the best I've got though,” Arthur put his hands on his belt.

The man checked you out again.

"How much?"

"Six dollars, but you get her the whole night."

The guy winced at the mention of the price: "That's a bit high, don't you think? I mean...she's my type and all..."

"Whole night...", Arthur repeated with a twinkle in his eye, "She'll even spoon ya and be there in the mornin’ to bring you some coffee, if yer into that. Domestic bliss with no responsibilities." Arthur stressed the last sentence with his southern drawl that made your lips curl into a smile.

"Fine", the man clicked his tongue and shot you some glances while fished out the money, "You better be worth it."

However, as he raised his gaze to hand the money to Arthur, he made blinked in shock, when a gun was pointed directly at him. You saw the wheels turn in his head as Arthur, nonchalantly, accepted the money with his free hand.  

"Thank you kindly. Now, get lost, partner", Arthur asserted.

The guy opened his mouth to protest, but found his words caught in his throat as Arthur deftly cocked his gun. Off he went, a sullen expression on his disappointed face.

"You had me for a second, to be honest with you", you smiled at Arthur, who gave you half the money he had just taken from the man.

"I did?", Arthur chuckled warmly and put his gun back into his holster, "Yer worth way more than six dollars, that's for sure."

Arthur kissed you a suggestively, his big hand finding the small of your back. The little scheme had seemingly turned him on, especially now that he had you alone in this alley.  

"Mh, still, you get me for free," you grinned and allowed Arthur to pick you up and put you on a nearby barrel. Your eyes aligned now, sharing the same level, and Arthur caged you in with his big arms.

"For free? Hell, I gotta stand all yer talkin' and bickerin'", Arthur complained. But as he looked at you and saw your offended expression, he realized that he might have struck a nerve. Your exaggerated pout may have seemed theatrical, but your eyes and furrowed eyebrows betrayed a genuine displeasure.

"I never bicker. And if you want me to shut up, you can just say so", you replied earnestly.

"I know,” Arthur replied, he placed a tender kiss on your forehead, before nestling his head against your shoulder, inhaling your familiar scent. "I'm sorry. I'm jus' talking silly, darling,” he murmured, a hint of remorse in his voice.

Your hand wandered to his hair, and your fingers navigated through the rugged strands. It was a gesture meant to soothe him, but it also bore a subtle implication. Arthur was particularly receptive to such affections, and you heard a stifled groan.

"But I'll gladly get you coffee in the morning."

"Mhh, yer the best. I don't deserve ya," Arthur grinned against the crook of your neck before kissing it.

"How bout we get ourselves a room?"

"I'd love that".

[rksses]

hmmm can u do gwen x fem!reader who’s really flirty jokingly or not and how’d she react to that

LUDIQUE FLIRTS

fluff : reader & gwen are friends with early stages of feelings for eachother, ykwim!! reader's a tease, gwen loves it (& her <3), quick oneshot ... lmk if yall want more characters w/ the same prompt (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

a/n : OFCCC i've been looking for an excuse to write gwen!!! this was kinda short but i really wanted to write something rn... ofc i might make this like a twoshot or threeshot... just for my bae gwen <3 this was just a thought that came into my mind after i saw ur request but i'll do i different part of this because i don't know if i really life this one

gwen is literally such a sweetheart.

the first time you had a conversation was when gwen had asked you if you had wanted to do a little study sesh with her for mid-terms. you had been assigned to be her lab partner and she didn't really do friends after ykw, so she had decided you were the next best thing.

turns out, you'd be moving up on that list to be the very best thing pretty soon.

being the only spiderwoman in her dimension while also having to try to not fail in school was hard on her. luckily for her, she always had you to take some stress off of her.

you, being the bright and smart student you are, helped her greatly through her academics, lending her notes and such as she often had to skip class to attend to her spider duties.

it was the little things you'd do that would mean the most to her. she noticed everything. those spider senses have their regular life advantages too.

she would catch you subtly sneaking glances at her in the middle of class, occasionally returning the glance as you smiled back at her, trying to play it off (it didn't work).

there were times when she was overworked and just overall done. and you were there to make things better.

"falling for me already, beautiful?" you softly smiled at a tired, overworked gwen in your arms. she had bumped into you and you could tell you had caught her off-guard by the way she quickly got up and her face flushed bright red as she mumbled a quick apology to you.

she was TIRED and even you can tell.

"ya need help?" you asked the blonde. "uh, yeah. that'd actually be a huge help, thanks." she said looking up at you, face still slightly dusted pink, matching the very ends of her hair. she passed a thick white book to you and the two of you walked down the hall to her next class as you made small talk.

surprisingly enough, after all those study "dates" you still haven't even gotten her number. she was always so focused in the work she was doing and you couldn't find it in yourself to break her cute expression when she was 'in the zone' so you just simply didn't.

unfortunately for you, that meant that you weren't gonna get her number anytime soon, if you kept waiting.

"you free for lunch?" you asked, as you arrived at the door. "nope.. still gotta study some more. you know how it is, stressing for this 43 open-ended question bullshit." "hey, private school rules." you shrugged and looked down at her books, quickly recognizing the one you were holding. "you know, you could always borrow some of my notes even if you need 'em." you looked back up at her. "of course, you'd have to owe me a favor later."

"i'll... keep that in mind" she paused as if she wanted to say something. "see you."

so, you decided to just stop waiting for a perfect moment.

"don't be a stranger." you smirked.

she walked into her classroom and sat down in her chair as she set down her books on the desk before her. "alright, for today we will be reviewing page 322 to 368. flip to page 322 now." the teacher instructed.

gwen did as she was told and to her surprise was a little yellow sticky note stuck to the page.

"(xxx)xxx-xxxx call me. -y/n"

[kandy-sticks-zaza-blogs]

Hazbin Hotel x Reader(OLD)

Tw:Cussing,Murder,blood,violence,sex jokes, tentacles jokes

•You are a waiter at the fancy restaurant in hell with three stars,why? Because you killed the rude customers and kicked out horny demon out of the restaurant alot.

•You will be looking human but with devil wings hidden in your head,gun shot forehead mark,tentacles tails as an extra hands to hold the plates not the horny way but a sfw way

•At first you were scared and frustrated what to do in hell but than you saw a new opened fancy restaurant,you went in as the receptionist looked at your clothes realised you are a waiter as he greeted you to work here but you always scared the customers by your attitude and appearance.

•You been sent to hell by killing your victims over 10 years that the people went missing or murdered news papers as you dressed up as a waiter to poison the food giving it to your next victims as you are exposed. You escaped from the cops in your car you laugh distracted as you drove into the ocean by accident you try to open the door but it no use as you drown to death during the 1990s

•When Alastor visit the restaurant the first impression with him wasn't great as you always got the bad murderous attitude as he will teach you how to behave by pulling your hidden devil wings head.

"Next time dear you might wanna mind your manners and keep your whining bitchy mouth shut."

"Ow!Ow!Let go of my freaking wings ow!"

•Alastor always visits the restaurant every time greeting you with a smile to eat the corpse from the remaining of your dead asshole customers. Your staff isn't pleased but you don't care since you almost burned the food.

"Mmm!That is delicious did your chef cook this delicious meal?"

"It was me. I cooked it."

"*Choking noises*Mmm...! that's a-amazing dear!"

He always lied with a smile he gave you but still eating the food anyway. He knows you are bad at cooking but forcibly swallowed the food as you go to the other customers he spat it out as he left the bill and left while wiping his mouth.

"I might wanna throw up..."

•Many years later you haven't seen Alastor for 7 years as you saw a silly advertisement of the princess of hell introduced the Happy Hotel for the redemption that sinners will go to heaven which is ridiculous to you

•The restaurant began closing at night as all the staffs leave you were left alone at the table eating the leftovers that the customers didn't eat as you heard the door open as you sigh in frustration.

"The restaurant is closed were not giving you good shit food tonight."

"Oh Y/N is that the way you greet your old friend?"

"Alastor?WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?! IT'S BEEN 7 YEARS!"

Your tentacles raised in strong emotions as he patted your head to calm down.

"There,There dear when did you get that manners from?Did you miss me much Y/N?"

"Yes..."

"Come here Y/N give your old friend Alastor some hug!"

You hugged Alastor feeling soft hearted and butterflies flying around in your stomach. He hummed while hugging you for a while.

•When Alastor come back after 7 years he was scared that you didn't improve your cooking skills but he realised you improved after he was gone he ate your food as you sigh in happiness and stress.

•You are now in the limo having the conversation to Lucifer daughter,Charlie and she gave you free cash since you will have to agree to go to the hotel because you are homeless and going bankrupt as you arrive at the Hazbin Hotel

•You entered as you see new faces but familiar ones. The gal with the cross eye patch, Angel Dust the Porn star,A Victorian reptilian snake,little cyclop girl,cat with wings with a top hat and...Alastor!

"Alastor heya good to see you again!"

"Good to see you too Y/N!"

•Well after many weeks of staying here you began to feel comfortable around new people and sometimes you threw Angel Dust in the trash can tired of his dirty jokes

•Angel Dust kept making dirty tentacles jokes as you are moody about it

"Hey is your tentacles made for kinky hentai gay sex shit Y/N?"

".....Angel Dust."

"Yeaaah?"

"I'm not giving you fucking lasagna tonight."

"What?!"

"And popsicles bitch."

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

•You like to cook and give your friends some food that they didn't asked but accepted it anyway (which you feed Alastor to much meat that he was telling you to stop overfeeding him alot) but than you feed everyone some free food

•You meet Lucifer the king of hell himself visiting his daughter hotel as you pulled the steel dome lid to reveal some fondue when he arrived

"Ooo!Fondue that's delicious and amazing mmm! Well I'm gonna hire you to be the butler in the manor!"

"Why ye-"(felt Alastor glaring behind them feeling jealousy)

"Uhhh...no.I-I'll have to deny your request haha! Ahhh...." 'I'm gonna fucking die if I go to Lucifer place...'

•You stayed at the hotel all the time when your friends is out but defended the hotel from the intruders throwing them in the trash after they were killed or beaten up but you got company at the hotel when Keke,the eggy Bois and Fat nuggets helping you out at the hotel

"Boss!Boss!Boss!"

"Yes...?"

"I made a drawing of you!"

"Oh my fucking god..."

"What's the matter you don't like it boss?"

"No...I don't like it....I FUCKING LOVE IT!"I'm putting it on my fridge!"

The egg Bois is happy as you were proud of it on the fridge.

•You were now dragged by Cherri Bomb aka. Angel Dust bestie to the Nightclub as you are angry you got drunk as you accidentally vented them about your past life as Husker cheered you up patting your back while venting to them at the club

•You saw Angel Dust in danger as you beat up Valentino to death by strangling the overlord with your tentacles (Angel Dust regrets about dirty tentacles jokes he made about you)

•You spent time with your friends and give the cannibals some blood drink to respect you.

•When the Extermination began you were armed with guns and knives in your hands and tentacles. Your shirt is unbuttoned and your hair is messy making you unhinged as you killed all the exterminator being a psychopathic sane maniac in the whole battle field as you laugh like a psychopath feeling the adrenaline kicking in you. (Vox is simping the whole time watching and being horny asf tho)

"HAHAHAHAAHAA!!THIS IS FUCKING BADASS!! I'M SO FUCKING HORNY RIGHT NOW!!!THIS IS BETTER THAN FUCKING SEX I HAVE SEX BEFORE BUT STILL!!"

Alastor:'What the fuck?' stares at you smiling but scared of you the whole time watching you stripping off your shirt laughing like a horny maniac.

Adam:Holy fucking shit that's a nice looking big tits!But...where the fuck are their nip-(proceed to get slapped by Alastor shadow tendrils)

•After many deaths and battle you all won you picked up the drawings from the eggy Bois from your broken fridge that have food feeling upset that your fridge is dead as you flopped down to the ground feeling exhausted

"Wow Y/N you ok?" Charlie is concerned

"I'm fine...so that's what sex is like right?"

"Y/N!Do you miss the egg boys?"

"*sniff sniff*Yeah...!Oh my fucking god!"

You cried on her shoulders mourning the death of the egg boys that been nice to you.

•After the hotel have been rebuilt you mourn Dazzle,Sir Pentious and his egg Bois death as you kept their drawings with you the whole time

[kebriones]

I get where you're going with this but they very much did have extreme stress back then. Usually about if they were going to have enough to eat

(summary of my ramblings at the bottom!) I apologise in advance for the essay, I might be in the wrong here, i'm not an anthropologist or a historian but I do have strong feelings about how all humans around me are stressed out of their damn minds to the point of being empty husks so here goes. i'm also posting this in case anyone has a different opinion/more knowledge. My grandmother was raised in the german occupation. Famously a period when people here starved to death. But it was mostly the people in Athens who did. My grandma didn't have proper food as a kid, but she ate weeds and slugs and fruit. And when the occupation ended, they were still dirt-poor, but there were legumes and chickens and bread to eat, even though our agriculture was obliterated by the war. I'm sure this differs from place to place, but for people in rural areas, living off of the land if they know how to grow a few crops is very much possible.

My parents are working all day at jobs that demand them to be mentally there at all times and behave a certain way, they often work during their free time at home, and they're still stressed about how to afford groceries and rent and bills, and they owe thousands to the bank. My great-grandmother had time to weave, take care of her garden and animals, go to church as much as she wanted, get a full night's sleep and have friends. She couldn't read or write but she didn't have debts to anyone nor any bills to pay (because that village got electricity only in the 80s). the pace of life and the amount of responsibilties we have to keep track of now is a constant source of stress that never ever stops. Not to mention the constant influx of information about everything, which we are not made to handle. I'm not saying it's a bad thing that we're always aware of what's going on in the entire world, I think it will bring about necessary social changes one way or another, but it has to get evened out and reduced at some point. There is always, constantly, many things to worry about. How many people have the luxury of letting their mind wander during their work hours? how many people have the luxury of saying, I am not feeling well today and it's raining, I'll just nibble on some bread and veggies and stay inside and not work? I absolutely wouldn't want to live back then because I do like running water and toothpaste and modern medicine and electricity, but specifically for the stress and anxiety, I believe we're at a very bad place right now.

This is why I mentioned other animals. They might struggle to find food and go hungry often in the wild, but if you put them in a limited space with constant interaction not on their own terms or crowded conditions or lack of peace and quiet or disrupt their natural day-to-day cycle they will 100% be miserable and die faster than they would in the wild, especially "smarter" animals.

TLDR: occasionally going hungry isn't the same as living your every day full of comparatively milder stress without breaks ever. our lives are way too full of responsibilities and keeping track of things now.

[moriartyluver]

Hello, you’re one of the very few accounts I know that write for Moriarty the Patriot and I really enjoy your writing. If you have time, could I request a William x Reader comfort? I just had an argument with my parents and they called me ungrateful and selfish and said that I owed them what they’re asking of me because they raised me, and I could really use some comfort. I’m asking for William because he seems like he would understand what it feels like to be around those kinds of adults but if you have another character in mind feel free to write for them too. The format can be whatever is easier for you with this type of request. Thank you!

A/N: hey nonnie! I understand how you feel. Having emotionally abusive parents really sucks but you’re really strong. Thank you for your request and i really hope things get better for you in the future!

Prompt: how would William comfort his lover who just had an argument with their parents?

Character: William James Moriarty x reader

Genre: hurt/comfort

Format: oneshot

warnings: emotional & physical abuse, bad parenting, arguing, angst at the beginning, reader’s gender isn’t specified, some cursing, mentions of violence, reader could be seen as implied female (forced marriages) but isn’t explicit, reader is engaged to William.

“Dammit (name)! You’re so ungrateful! Most parents would have thrown you out into the streets!” Your father yelled down at you.

Tears of a mixture of anger and disbelief welled in your eyes. You blinked them away and rubbed at them with your sleeves in an effort to not seem weak.

“Seriously, (name)! Listen to your father! The least you could do is get married to someone wealthy! Our family business is going to crash and all you can think of is yourself!” You mother agreed “We used to be nobles living lavish lifestyles! You owe us for all those years we raised you in comfort when deep down we knew you were a selfish child!”

Smack.

You held a hand up to your now red cheek. It stung so painfully that the tears you were holding back couldn’t take it any more. The tears could only make you cheek sting even worse.

“Damn you all.” You whispered to yourself. You voice was wavering and your throat felt as though there was a lump in it you couldn’t swallow. You sat up from the chair beside your mother and left in silence while those parents of yours watched in disbelief.

“Where in God’s name do you think your going?!” Your father demanded. You said nothing. You didn’t even turn back.

There was a slam of the manor door and then you were gone. Hopefully your parents would never see you again.

An hour or so later, you managed to turn up on the doorsteps of the Moriarty family manor where your fiancé lived. Strangely enough, you were planning on telling your parents of the engagement later that night at dinner, but after that disrespect, you decided they deserved nothing. They didn’t deserve you.

But even then you still felt somewhat guilty. Your mother had been feeling unwell due to the stress of your family going bankrupt and your father was terrified he may have to pay back loans with his own life. Could it really have been your fault? Were you really the selfish one?-

“(Name)? What are you doing here, my love?” The door opened to reveal a tall gentleman with blonde, somewhat messy hair ( he had been working intensely on a plan of his and fallen asleep earlier after overexerting his mind.)

At that moment, the tears came back. William looked somewhat confused, but let you wrap your arms around his neck and cry into him while he guided you to your soon to be shared bedroom.

“…so that’s when you left and ended up here, is it?” William repeated back to you once you finished your story of how you ended up crying on his doorstep. You were sat beside him on a lounge chair, wiping your tears away with a handkerchief.

His scarlet eyes softened when he gazed at your upset self. “Dear, whatever you may be thinking due to your own feelings of guilt, please know that you did nothing wrong..” he brushed a few strands of hair behind your ear with hand and held yours with the other “no matter how much your parents were struggling, they should have never taken it out on you.”

William placed a chaste kiss on your non- swelling cheek and another on your forehead. “(Name)… you aren’t selfish at all.. your parents are.”

“Thank you William, but now that I’ve walked out, I would rather not return. My issue is that I haven’t the faintest idea of what to do from now on…” your hand fell in your lap as you started down at your feet. “Knowing my parents, I doubt they would ever let me come back..”

“Then stay here, with me.” William offered “All we would need to do is move the wedding forwards and I can have Albert pull a few strings to ensure you get the life you deserve. You wouldn’t mind that, would you?”

Your eyes lit up at the proposal. “You mean it..?” The blonde nodded. You wrapped your arms around him in a close hug while muttering “thank you” over and over again and peppering his face with kisses of gratitude while he chuckled at your affection.

(And if your parents were to ever cause you any trouble….well they don’t call him the Lord of crime for nothing…)

[poupeesdecirque]

Hobby Update.

For quite some time I have been sitting on a drafted hobby update entry, I wrote it back in October.

I took the last step this week and left one hobby space I loved for years.

I can tell 2023 was a quite difficult year for me in doll hobby terms, well, on the social side. A lot of things have changed.

For the last week, since I left the space, feel like a huge load fell off my chest, it's coincidence that a lot of things arrived this week and some orders finally came to an end, it's still on going in some cases but I can tell I feel ... free?

My close friends know I have been struggling with a lot of things in hobby terms as I am trying to care for myself more and some people were constantly poisoning my mind.

My conclusion right now is I love my creative hobbies, I don't want to end any of all but I also don't want to feel like I need to hide my decisions. I know I don't need to but being reduced to just "having a lot of" while I am using the dolls as blank canvas and learned how to sculpt my own head, learned to do face ups, to make wigs, full clothing sets, I draw, I write, I take photos, I can use my knowledge on cosplay and cosplay knowledge on the dolls. I am versatile. Also it's my way to cope with stress. I am stressed I draw, I sew, I write. Take that away from me and I will become a braindead mess.

2023 showed me that I hate certain parts of the doll community, I hate the binge & purge mindset, I hate that you are reduced to be a "content creator", I am not. I don't put out mindless stuff I pour my heart into every creation, every photo, every display, every drawing.

People have expectations of me, and I can't and won't cater their interests anymore. I got shit for so many things and I want to step away from that. Disconnecting from the community is the best I can do right now. Will I return? I can't tell that now. I need my distance for now.

I want to create my own little cosy places and I am thankful for everyone who became a friend with me during the last years.

2024 will be full of dolls, full of fun projects, full of sewing, crafting, creating, full of cosplay, full of traveling. It will be full of meeting friends, learning new things, challeging myself.

I want to get this off my chest as well. If you are interested in a glimpse of my feelings during the last months... behind the cut is the old entry.

Here is my original drafted journal from the 24th October.

For those who are knowing me for longer (and with that I mean longer than this blog here exist) there is the fact I cut ties with several communities over the years. Not only doll ones but different too. It all had several reasons over the last two decades but I won't go that much into detail here.

I am about to do the same again and I know I don't owe anyone an explanation why, but I need to get it out of my head and that's what I made this blog for in the first place. This is subjective I will not discuss anything about it and you can't change how I perceive it, I know I have my flaws too, not innocent, no saint. I just want to get steam off. Thanks.

Don't read further if just the pure art content interests you :)

Two years ago I had a literal doll burn out, I overstressed myself with keeping up on releases "because omg they are so cool" and pressured myself to get customs done in inhumane speed, that sucked all energy from me and I only saw mistakes and hated my work.

It was the time I picked up watching Anime again and fell into DGM and that brought me my love for not only Anime/Mana back but also for the dolls. My focus shifted into doing fan based dolls again. I can say my relationship with OC dolls isn't on par with what it was before the burn out but I will come to that later on.

In the last two years the hobby changed, not only because I had a different approach to it but because of the people who joined the places I used to socialize within the hobby.

First the type, who is annyoing, but well you can ignore quite well. It's people who glorify buying every clothing fullset they can get their hands on and the only love they show for the hobby is actually telling everyone to do the same and just buy half of taobao, like they do. I know people like this were common in before but it got out of hand the last years. You don't buy from taobao? You don't even consider it? Well, you are not part of the club anymore. We always had brand snobs, nothing new. But the amount of energy regarding taobao got quite annyoing.

That's a thing you can ignore, as mentioned, what I can't ignore is stealing ideas or telling lies or just downtalking every release you come across.

And those three type of people is what just makes me leave the hobby spaces I am in.

First of all if something goes wrong just have the balls to apologize to everyone who is involved. Don't go telling lies, don't go and show you basically do what you said I can't do just in another shape. This behaviour took something from me I loved within the hobby: seeing how people grow with their dolls, because I had to block whole areas as I got constantly reminded of person X. I was reminded of situations, of being told my opinion doesn't matter, several times, I got reminded that handcraft work means nothing as long as you can sculpt on a pc and just vomit out products to hide the fact you messed up something else. Oh and of course the "how can't you have time for fast progress"? Coming from a burn out trying to slow down while the real life basically ate me ... ahaha. thanks. And all that despite the fact the people who are causing those problems for me are protected by everyone, oh beware if you dare to say a word. It started with one person and got a bigger mess over the time.

This overall leads to the fact that somehow almost all preorders from non-Asian artists were all super chewy or went horribily wrong for me in the last 3 years. Started with ZeligenArt whom at least popped up after calling out, the clusterfuck with IntotheDeepDolls to the failed Preorder with AceofDolls to Logan.Dolls taking forever with several reminders, or the one with LenaRuiiz I'm still in I literally don't have the nerves to go into details here anymore as it just tires me out. Oh and the post eating my Parcel from Mirror didn't help much either, but that was out of control for us both and Mirror replaced the lost heads for me and just send them out. I don't have the patience for this anymore, I just want them all to be done. That's the reason why I kept pushing back some dolls, normally I do them by arrival. In one(!) preorder case I was asked directly(!) if I want a refund instead of my heads, but I was waiting for 1 1/2 years now, I didn't want to end up with nothing/or even less than I have begun with.

Then we have the audacity of people using other people's creations as their own and only mentioning it briefly, after they got popular with the doll/character "they" have created. If you have references just tell people you have used them. There is nothing wrong with that.

I can't overlook the fact of people 1:1 taking someone's character and slapping on another name and calling them theirs though. There is something going very wrong here.

Then we have the people being nasty about releases that don't fit their aesthetics (yes I am aware this is a thing for years, don't come at me I was member of Den of Demons I know the drill), comparing them to real people and downtalking people they never met and never will understand their beauty standards.

Those 4 types are ruining what I learned to love after leaving the bitch fights of my local community. The support, the open ears, the - we grow together - even when we have different tastes. I miss that.

I know i have withdrawn from telling my OC's backstories as there were too many putting their expectations on how I have to do dolls onto me. I stopped sharing even more photos ... which resulted in people thinking I'm just that one person with a lot of dolls. Sigh. I know growing a thick skin, I'm healing from being a people pleaser and all but in the end ...

i love the dolls. I love the hobby. I love being creative, I love sharing my joy, I love seeing how other people get inspired, how they grow and not this "fast"-fashion type of mentality that somehow came into the hobby. I hate THAT.

I love the people I met and have conversations with, but I don't love how I feel like not part of the hobby anymore, like someone like me don't have space anymore because I just want to have fun, I don't want to buy brand x, and I don't want to be urged to buy size Y, I don't want to reduced to the number of dolls I have - because every finished doll is a huge project for me, all tell a story, some a whole epic book some more just a small article. Because I don't want to be a sassy asshole, because I can't read the irony among the lines when people making fun of me, I take this literally.

I just have no idea anymore if there is a space for me. As I write this I have unboxed a new head and the excitement of having it here, it's still there, I love the hobby, but fell out of love with what the community space - that once felt like home to me - has become.

I will continue my blog, as I like to see my own progress and smile at what I have created. And as long as just one person maybe smiles at my creations or is inspired, or I can help with what I have written down I know it's worth sharing.

... I just want to enjoy my hobby.

There is a ton more going on, my head is full of thoughts, but getting at least this out of my head here might help to sort my feelings.

[1941-crowley-slut]

Work was so therapeutic. Everyone there is a real angel, I talked to so many more people that work there today and I had so much fun. And the manager, god, what can I even say about her? She's so wonderful. She took such good care of me the whole day despite the fact I was not even supposed to be there and we've literally spent less than 3 shifts together (so not only does she not owe me anything but we arent even that close), she gave me a safe space to talk about the things at home, she listened and offered advice throughout the whole day to help me handle it, she offered several times to actively help me by talking to my dad herself (cause they know each other, they're friends) or bringing over both my parents and helping us resolve this, she offered to give me a ride home or text my dad instead of me doing it so I have as little interaction with him as possible, she checked up on me often asking if I'm feeling okay, she bought me coffee, she helped me with a personal task I had to do that was really stressing me out, then she ordered food and would not let me just get off with "I dont mind whatever you get", she insisted I tell her what I like and then made sure I ate enough bc she said she was sure I hadn't eaten anything all day. And the thing is she's not even that kind of person generally. Like she's not this sweet little ray of sunshine that goes around helping everyone and handing out sweets. She can and will fist fight you without hesitation, but she looks after me like an older sister and it makes me want to cry.

Not to mention she never ever gets or even seems annoyed at me asking questions or if I get something wrong or even if I have to interrupt her bc I'm stuck on something. Even if she's shown me the thing before, even if it's the easiest thing in the world to her (bc she's been working there a long time and knows literally everything), no matter what she has always helped me right away judgement free and also has never misunderstood anything I've said or judged me for something even if I made a rlly dumb joke or I said something stupid to a customer bc I panicked (and that happens a lot). And again the fact that she is the person that gets annoyed by anything and anyone is SO important to me because she acts completely different with me and I feel so protected. She could've done none of this for me, she could've ratted me out to my dad fully since they're both adults and friends, but instead she's taking care of me and god I actually just love her.

[neilsanders]

i've been waiting forever for you to open your asks because i love your animations so much, they're so fun.

i've been doubting that i might ever make a livable career out of my art; but then i saw that you did some vault guy animations for fallout and i realized that there's a niche out there for everybody, including me! so, thank you.

I had a little rummage around on your bloggo but can’t see any pictures you cheeky fellow! I love to draw lots of dumb stuff, I think the key for me is to be working outwardly, as in making work with other people in mind, but without compromising too much on your personal taste. It’s the old thing of making what you want to see, but hoping that there’s enough people out there to warrant it as a commercial venture. Blah blah blah, I just draw lots and lots then sift through them to find things that work for me in the moment, then try and flesh those out a bit. That said it’s easy to have integrity when you’re not relying on it as your main income source. I’m an art teacher four days a week, so making art is the fun in my day rather than a stressful challenge of tight deadlines and huge expectations.

Working with Ivan Dixon and Greg Sharp at Rubberhouse was a dream come true, they had loads of great creative projects where we got to animate in authentic styles from the thirties, forties and fifties! I didn’t know what Fallout was when they put me on the gig, hadn’t played many games since the PS2 generation. The studio has disbanded now with Greg running Truba Animation and Ivan being a co-director at Studio Showoff, but they’re each still running amazing 2D productions.

As far as finding your style and audience goes I owe a lot of it to contributing to and running @loopdeloop-blog , it’s a monthly animation challenge where we would all make something dumb around a theme and then get together and have a public screening. It’s a very surreal feeling to be at a screening with everyone watching something you made and taking in their reaction. We’re just getting it back up off the ground after things got all screwed up with covid, you should check it out! It’s a great way to get animators out of their caves to socialise each and I’ve made so many lasting friendships because of it.

Here’s a loop think I spent almost all of my free time on one month back in 2012 for a LoopdeLoop screening, no idea what the theme was… but I guarantee I wouldn’t have worked so hard on a personal project without wanting to impress everyone at the screening as a goal.

[youtifulhobi]

Hello.

Hello everyone, long time no talk! Just another life update.

Potential triggers (read first.) - mental health discussion, mentions of depression and anxiety, mentions of passive suicidal ideation. If these topics are upsetting to you and/or bring you stress, please don’t feel bad if you need to click away. Take care of yourself first. Here is a link to a YouTube video with various cute animals (essentially, r/eyebleach but without the need to scroll).

More details under the cut.

It’s been a long while, hasn’t it? Last time I checked in, I seemed chipper, happy, and excited about the future, but I wasn’t. I lied, I faked, I pasted a smile on my face and I screamed into a pillow and curled up into a ball and stared at nothing for hours on the regular. I became a zombie in the little time I had to myself. Every day I either worked, went to school, and oftentimes both, upping my ‘serious hours’ to over 16 hours a day. I was barely functioning and couldn’t sleep. What little sleep I got was plagued with nightmares about becoming a societal failure and a let down to everyone I love.

After a few months of this, my mental health went down the drain. I relapsed and my depression and anxiety reached new lows, and I started fantasising about how I wish I could just die because there was no point to me living anymore. I didn’t feel like a person, I felt like an empty shell and I had no interests and barely enough energy to care for my two pups.

But I went for help, my dear friends both online and offline brought me out of my shell, were endlessly patient with me and I owe my betterment to them. With their help, I continued going to therapy, I stopped pretending so much, I handed in my resignation notice, and I forced myself to take part in things I long lost interest in, like watching videos and tv in my free time instead of staring at the wall and wishing I could cry.

What I’m trying to say is I think I’m almost ready to come back. I miss writing and I still have some real life things to sort out, but I think things will get better.

If you’re still reading this, thank you so much for staying with me until the end and I think I will be able to come back. At the very least, I’ll likely start reblogging things again within a week or two. Hopefully.

Love,

Bells

Here, a link to r/eyebleach as a thank you and as a cleanser for your mind <3

[godslino]

Oh my goodness the few days that I haven’t checked your account, you responded LOL I’m sorry that I didn’t see it earlier! I’m glad you’re alive and doing well; I’m doing pretty good too. My days have been relatively boring lately. School is treating me as usual hahaha. I understand the feeling of those voices in your head. The constant thoughts that your work isn’t good enough, whether it’s writing or anything, really, seems to be a universal experience :,) I rewrite my messages to you all the time, I think the first two asks I sent in I spent at least 30 minutes on because I was so nervous (╥﹏╥) (I’m reading over my completed ask right now!)

As a small note, not sure if it’ll help or not (just handing out my thoughts. If it’s too much or anything please tell me! I never know whether people just want me to listen, comfort, or give advice, so please be forgiving hahah I swear my intentions are good), but remember that you’re handing out your work for us to enjoy for free! You don’t owe us anything, so just showing your drabbles is more than enough, with or without the occasional imperfection. It doesn’t have to be flawless, but I totally get the feeling of wanting it to be. Any writing you send out to your account is something that at least a handful of people will enjoy—you’re guaranteed one [cherry-scented, university-hating] person who will be impacted by your work in a positive way hahah. Standards are placed on yourself by yourself, and the idea of “good enough” is all in your head, which you’re so strong for constantly battling! Know that the standard that most casual readers expect are probably way less than what you put on yourself. It’s only human to feel that way about your own performance, and maybe complete satisfaction will only be achieved once your own standard is met, but it might be refreshing to know that we’ll enjoy it regardless!

Again, I love hearing your thoughts. Your responses don’t always need to meet that standard of “good enough”, and yet they never fail to make my day. You should think the same of your writing too! I guess what I’m trying to say is that nothing needs to be perfect—forms of self-expression and creative things especially. Us readers will appreciate anything you give to the community. It’s totally okay to feel the way you do about your work. I’m not saying you need to change your mindset or anything. Just don’t stress too much about things haha, writing is something to be enjoyed not only by the readers, but by the wonderful mind behind the work too. So so so much love being sent to you! You’re so strong for fighting and overcoming those demons that constantly get in the way

-🍒

oh my sweet, sweet 🍒 anon. every time i open my ask box and see a message from you i know my day is about to be made (it's 2:49am).

once again, i am so sorry for the delayed response. this time it's actually because i've been writing like crazy!! my newest fic is out!! ahhh!!

i just want to take a second to thank you for everything you've said in this ask and all the ones before it. you don't know it, but your words have helped me a lot in this process of getting back into the swing of things and fighting the writer's block demons (literally). i'm so serious when i say that this community is as beautiful and wonderful to be a part of because people like you exist. your messages are one of the very few highlights of my day whenever i receive them. so just as much as you appreciate my writing, i appreciate you for being you! living, breathing, existing.

thank you thank you thank you so much for everything, 🍒 anon! and if you read it, please let me know what you think about my latest fic!

all the love and more, always 🤍

[lady-of-imladris]

What is your meeting about? Is it regarding your thesis? I think the body needs a lot of time to recuperate after a long period of stress, and I know for a fact that staying up 1 hour longer than necessary needs like 3 hours of sleep as payback with interests.

Could it be that the magnet on the freezer door has been taken down at some point? It doesn't close or it doesn't stay closed?

I've been going through a rough patch, hence my absence. Work + school + personal issues = mentally exhausted me. But you gotta get back on the horse. Mum didn't raise a quitter!

Ah I'm pleased to know you're keeping the fluids coming in. A heatstroke is the last thing you need, and I would be very disappointed if you don't fulfill your part of our bargain.

Well now that's problematic because, you see, I'm invested! What if I take off my anon mask and you're disappointed by what lies underneath?! But I can't deny that the thought, and the envy, has crossed my mind more than once recently.

I've been meaning to ask: do you only work in programing or... any other aspects of computer science?

Yes, it's a meeting about my thesis, but I think it will go well!

Okay, then I probably owe my body like 200 hours of sleep because I WILL NOT go to bed at a reasonable hour. It was 2:30 am again yesterday 🙃

I don't know what happened to the damn freezer but now that I think about how closing the door "feels", a missing magnet sounds about right! The door seems to "drag"? I think it might hang a little crooked or too low? I can shut it with a lot of force but it does not stay shut. I'll try to get it fixed if I cannot fix it myself because I NEED my ice cubes and the ability to freeze leftovers!!!

I'm sorry to hear you had such a hard time but I'm glad you're back on the horse, that's always a good thing!!

I mean, some of my fluid intake definitely comes from fun little drinks with a bit of alcohol in them, but I aim for 2L of non-alcoholic fluids every day and I think that flies.

It is nice to know you're invested in this as well <3. I mean I could certainly be disappointed, what if you are just a dog that was trained to use tumblr? That would be disappointing (but very cool). I can however always give you the option to just make a second Tumblr account and come to my DMs:)

I don't have a "real" job yet, it depends entirely on the semester whether or not I will only do programming or something else too. For example, this semester, I did almost no programming at all, whereas last semester I constantly had a ton of projects in many different languages. But honestly, 90% of the time, I don't even know what I'm doing.

Like I said, feel free to come to my DMs anytime, either with your real account or a "fake" account <3

[dear-ao3]

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks!

Youguys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey

sticks,dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All

right,here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no!

You'redating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be

lunch formy iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former

queenshere in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see

how,by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but

thereare other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your

smokinggun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out

likethis. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But

isn'the your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see

anickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

- bee movie anon