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#my nose is completely useless right now. the good part is i am on a sick leave so at least no work for three days yeah . but then i have
seenthisepisode · 5 months
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#i feel like i am having some kind of a crisis. first of all i got sick AGAIN so i am at home coughing and not being able to breathe because#my nose is completely useless right now. the good part is i am on a sick leave so at least no work for three days yeah . but then i have#shifts on saturday and sunday which sucks BUT at least they are morning shifts which means i will be at home by 3.30 pm BUT that means#waking up before 6 am which again SUCKS but at least i don't have to be at work till 10 pm. so there is that. also i will have the next wee#off completely :)) which is fantastic news excpt. we were supposed to travel somewhere (me and my mom ) but we didn't manage to plan#anything so i will most likely stay at home and feel like i am wasting my free time which will make me feel guilty as fuck and not enjoy th#free time because this is ow my mind works and the stress i feel because of it? it's eating me from the inside like i literally can't focus#on ANYTHING because i already stress about wasting my next week. literally someone call a psychiatrist#also we didn't plan anything because the money needs to be saved for. my wedding. so there is a good reason why but that reason?#ANOTHER REASON FOR STRESS. i have been avoiding thinking about it seriously because once i start i will obsess over it and won't sleep#anyway. i have a wedding day coming in 2 months and i feel useless and completely out of control. head in hands.#also i won't be able to attend purcon in may which sucks but i need to sell the ticket because i already lost so much money on crossroads#that i also didn't attend only bought tickets impulsively last year so i want to avoid that happening again which means i have to like#sell them which is this whole thing that is also stressing me out. also i need to do the taxes . another stress factor#i was not meant for this life i was meant to live in a tent by the mountain lake i swear to god#personal
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xuterboo · 2 months
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My temperature is 38 right now, so...
Kings of Hell and your disease. Their concern for you☕💊🛌
Part 2
Satan:
Voluntarily forcibly drags you into bed and creates a cozy atmosphere. He makes sure that you don’t take too many pills, calculating the right amount.
If you resist, he speaks in a confident commanding tone about the importance of your treatment. He quickly manages to persuade you to lie on the bed.
Heartfelt conversations about childhood and how you were treated. You will learn a lot about the King of Anger. (Perhaps he was a sweet but naughty child?)
In any case, an atmospheric conversation will make you feel better much faster.
He ordered the servants to bring you food in bed so that you wouldn’t strain yourself once again. He monitors your treatment quite carefully. If he can't, he calls Sitri or some other demon from the nobility.
Part of the dialogue:
Satan: You look like a vegetable. Are you all right?
MC: mmmmm.. yeah?
Satan: Asshole, Quickly to bed!
Mammon:
As soon as he learns from you that you are sick, even if the temperature has not risen very high, Mammon will pick you up in his arms and carry you like a bride. .During this, he will order Bimet to send the best doctors. You will be well looked after. You will be fed deliciously and treated almost like a child.
Mammon will come to you while taking breaks from work. While stroking your head, the king of greed speaks loudly about the weaknesses of humanity. But he doesn’t do this to offend.These are rather complaints about the fact that His “Master” is from the human race, and not from the demonic. But after reflection, Mammon will change his mind. If you were a demon, Mammon would be less able to take care of you. And this situation suits him quite well. It's not fatal, it means everything is fine.
Part of the dialogue:
MC: Mammon! I am good. It's just a runny nose
Mammon: But you are so fragile... How can I simply ignore such calls of real illness? Don't worry. I have the best doctors. They will cure you
«Marbas arrives. Examines MC and turns to Mammon with a straight face»
Marbas: ..... Blow your nose. Here's the treatment
Mammon: (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)
Leviathan:
He wanted to appear as if he didn’t notice your unwell state of health. And you, because of your own beliefs, endured your bad condition. At some point, Levi can’t stand it, and with the only phrase “Man, follow me,” he grabs your hand and takes you to a luxurious room, where he lays you on the bed.
Your protests are simply ignored. Leviathan doesn't even listen to you while he orders Foraz's prying eyes outside the door to bring medicine, otherwise this man will catch a cold and be even more useless
He sorts through the pills, but throws them on the bed, wondering which ones will suit you. There are completely different medicines in hell, and who knows what will harm you?
He chooses the most reliable medicine, which Solomon seems to have even used.
The King of Envy assigned Barbados to you, and he secretly feels jealous because he doesn’t spend much time with you. Even if you are sleeping, he wants to be near you. He visits you extremely rarely, but spends quite a lot of time by your bed. He still doesn’t admit that he wants to be near you, and he tells the servants that he’s just checking to see if this person will die.
Part of the dialogue:
«Leviathan throws the pills on the bed. MC is very surprised that Levi cares about him/her»
MC: Um... Maybe I can see what medications you have?
Leviathan: Shut up, otherwise I'll shove these pills up your ass
«Very embarrassed because of his own feelings of concern, that’s why he behaves this way»
MC: Mmm~ sounds sexy~ *Biting his lower lip*
«Suddenly a light box of pills flies into MC's face»
This is my personal opinion. Thanks for reading
It seemed to me that pushing all the kings here would be too much. So I'll do the second part:
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bangchanisinmymind · 1 year
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sunday
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pairing; bangchan x reader; smut
sunday afternoon, needy, waiting for chris to come back from work in your shared living room. you were laid on the couch; back facing the ceiling and your legs almost open and waiting for him as the first thing someone would see after just opening the door was you.
the time was passing and you becoming more horny just by the thought of your partner once again even though you just had sex last night you just needed a little more of him. the sound of his keys and the following of the door opening and closing signalled you that your lover was home.
you didn't even care to move or greet him, you just spread your legs a little more for him causing your tiny poor of shorts to ride up and expose the lower part of your ass.
" how's my girl doing today?" he let out slapping your exposed skin leaving his things next to the other foot of the couch and kneeling next to your face pulling your phone down to give him attention.
"just missing you" you muttered already feeling arousal pooling in your panties and unconsciously pressing your face a little more on the pillow and lifting your hips a little bit.
" wow still not satisfied from yesterday? can't ever get enough of my cock can you?" "never I could take you forever " you said with a smile on your lips as you continued your previous actions.
" then who am i to leave my babygirl waiting" he said standing up " lemme take you to the bed okay? we won't be comfortable here" he didn't wait for an answer, he just took you to your bedroom and threw you on the bed undressing himself and leaving only his underwear.
you were kinda taken aback by his actions but his almost hard dick showed you weren't the only one needing help. your top had ridden up revealing half of your chest and it was once again pressed against the sheets as he adjusted you on your previous position but now your legs kneeled exposing most of your butt and now the shorts and your underwear were completely useless.
" that's my pretty girl she's ready for me always isn't she? so she deserves a reward right?" he said as he noticed the wet patch on your shorts and pressing his nose against it. the sound you made was an extremely high pitched needy moan.
"if you're this loud already the whole block will know my name tomorrow" he whispered in your ear now his fingers brushing your clothed clit. " isn't that the point?" you whispered looking at him in the eyes and that devilish smile.
he smacked your ass once again taking off your top making you whine and shiver. his hands on your waist holding you against his clothed erection and rubbing softly leaving a few sighs at the connection.
after a few good seconds he pulled away removing your shorts and underwear in once leaving you completely naked smirking at the sight of your soaked underwear.
he stared for a few seconds on your sex admiring how it was all and everywhere wet and throbbing begging to be filled making his cock twitch in his boxers. although the cold breeze did nothing to make you comfortable but he quickly came to the rescue by kissing your open cunt.
your breathing got heavier and he spread your legs a little more swimming in your body leaving a few kisses on your inner thighs before standing up guiding his cock to your entrance.
" no fingers for today huh, my needy girl can take it right?" he kissed your hip " yes daddy please been waiting for so long please" you muffled between the pillows lost in the feeling.
"alright here's your reward" he said before simply bottoming you out and staying still for a few seconds for you to adjust his length. you gasped for air unable to speak or even moan as he started moving in a fast pace. your legs now felt like jelly and you had completely given up on trying to stand up.
his strong arms kept you in place as he thrusted into you multiple times. he kept his pace steady for a couple minutes before you felt your release coming closer.
"am- am clo- close ah-" was the only thing you could let out feeling his hand travelling to your clit rubbing it bringing you closer to the edge.
your cum was all over yours and his hips as he continued thrusting until he reached his hight too. "my pretty girl taking my cock so well milking it all in just a few minutes" he breathed out and you felt hot thick stripes of his liquid painting your walls.
he turned you around and embraced you in a warm hug resting his back on the head of the bed. still smiling and all fucked out you looked up to him your hands on his shoulders and chest. he stroked a few stray strands off your face and kissed you goodnight
© @/bangchanisinmymind on tumblr | do not translate or copy my work without permission {feedback is highly appreciated! comment/DM for requests!}masterlist
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Stars Around My Scars
Chapter 10 - Only Bought This Dress So You Could- (Read on Ao3)
Magnus was starting to have some regrets.
“No,” he sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “You can’t pick out five of the exact same hoodie.”
Alec frowned. “But they’re not the same.”
Magnus raised an eyebrow. “Seriously?”
“I am!” Alec protested. “This one has no pockets, and this one has slanted pockets, and this one has rounded pockets-“
“Which are completely useless,” Magnus stated, looking at the pockets which looked like they couldn’t even hold a set of keys. He snatched it out of Alec’s hand and tossed it aside. “Pick only one, and let’s move on.”
“Why are you so grumpy?” Alec mumbled.
“Why am I-?” Magnus whirled on him, incredulous. “Why am I grumpy?! Maybe because, if you hadn’t bloody insisted on staying home, we could’ve started out early and-“ he huffed. “How the hell am I supposed to pick out a whole wardrobe for you before 10pm?! This is way too stressful?”
Alec calmly checked his watch.
“You have four hours,” he said, and then amended, “Well, three hours and forty-two minutes to be precise, but I think that’s enough time.”
Magnus glared at him.
“You could’ve just summoned whatever, you know?” Alec said, and it reminded Magnus of how Alec had said the same thing just before Magnus had portalled their asses here - Just summon whatever.
It made him even madder.
It also made him a little sad to think that Alec didn’t think himself worthy of a shopping spree and good clothes.
He was determined to show Alec that investing time and effort (and money) on oneself was actually a very good thing.
Unfortunately, he only had three hours and forty minutes to achieve this. He really needed to get a hold on himself and stop giving in to Alec’s puppy doll eyes.
For now, he went through his mental list of what he needed for a basic wardrobe for Alec. Five short-sleeved t-shirts and five long-sleeved. Five sweaters at Alec’s insistence. Five pairs of sweatpants and five pairs of jeans. At least two parts of formal clothes and one tux, and…
"You can have two more hoodies," Magnus acquiesced. "But they can't all be black."
Alec’s lips twitched as he turned away, as if he wanted to smile.
Magnus watched him as he turned to the racks of hoodies, rummaging through them and checking for sizes. At last, he pulled out a brown hoodie, and Magnus groaned.
"No."
"Why not?" Alec frowned.
"Because," Magnus said, walking over to Alec and holding the sweater against him. "Brown clashes with your features! You're obviously a winter. Brown is too warm for you."
Magnus looked over the racks, and pulled out a navy blue hoodie, holding it up against Alec. “See? That looks much better.”
Alec scrunched up his face. "What even is a 'winter'?"
"You are," Magnus said simply. "People use seasons to categorize different types of complexions. Your skin has cool undertones, and combined with your dark hair and blue eyes - that makes you a winter."
Alec blinked owlishly.
"Never you mind," Magnus shook his head. "Here, hold this, and-" he reached out for a dark gray hoodie, the color of storm clouds, and held it up consideringly against Alec. "Hmm, maybe more of a blue-gray? This shade kind of washes you out."
"What does it matter?" Alec muttered bitingly. "Just pick something and let's move on."
"Hush, you." Magnus frowned. "It does matter, you know? Dressing well does more of a number on your self confidence than you’d think.”
Alec snorted. “Right.”
“It’s true!” Magnus raised his eyebrows. “I’ll prove it to you. But first-“ he turned back to the racks of hoodies. “How about that light gray?”
Alec groaned.
The hoodie Magnus finally picked out was more white, threaded through with some black giving it the look of television static. They went through several stores, Magnus picking out everything he had in mind and a few extra. A leather jacket that Alec had looked at for two seconds long. A pair of fluffy bathrobes, one bright purple and one blue. Three pairs of socks for the colder months.
At last, Magnus and Alec touched down on the store he’d planned for the grand finale - a formal clothing store. It was run by a werewolf family who’d immigrated several decades past from London, and was by far the best place for formal clothes Magnus had ever known.
Magnus stood and watched as a younger werewolf took measurements of Alec, who stood like the Christ the Redeemer with a blank, almost bored expression on his face. However, Magnus thought he did see a hint of curiosity in the boy’s eyes as the werewolf brought over a sample tux.
“I have to try that on?” Alec frowned, lowering his arms.
“Well,” Magnus shrugged. “Yes. Obviously.”
“I didn’t have to try any of the other clothes, though,” Alec pointed out.
“You would’ve gotten to,” Magnus pointed out, “if we’d simply left in the morning like I’d planned.”
His inner bisexual was still mourning the loss of that opportunity.
He didn’t stop to ruminate on that for long, however. His inner bisexual still had work to do.
One of his brain cells stopped to whisper that maybe Magnus’s inner bisexual shouldn’t be involved in this. Magnus promptly ignored it.
Alec appeared to be grumbling under his breath as he stepped off the podium and headed into the dressing room, the werewolf in tow with a huge cushion of pins in hand.
As much as his inner bisexual was enjoying this, there actually was a good reason that Magnus chose to have Alec try on a tux, specifically.
It was a very well known fact that every man looked good in a tux.
And if you wanted a man to feel beautiful, well. The fastest way was to put him in a tux.
A few minutes later, Alec stepped out of the dressing room, slowly making his way back to the platform.
As Magnus had predicted, he looked exquisite. It was a simple but classic black tux with a white shirt, fitted perfectly thanks to the werewolf’s expertise with pins. The tux showed off the little dip of Alec’s waist, the firm thighs which somehow looked better than when Magnus had seen them bare, the muscle of Alec’s arms as he tugged at the lapels of his coat.
If Alec in a short skirt was lewd, Alec in a tux was as sexy as a sharp blade.
Magnus cleared his throat. “You look great.”
He wondered for a moment if great was too big of a compliment, and if maybe he should’ve settled for ‘good’ so as to not give Alec the wrong idea, until he deemed the idea too ridiculous and dismissed that thought.
“Go on. Turn around,” Magnus urged Alec. “The mirrors are behind you, you know?”
Alec narrowed his eyes at Magnus, but turned around anyways, and Magnus held his breath.
He was hoping Alec would like looking at himself just as much as Magnus did.
However, after a quiet minute or so, Alec looked over his shoulder and said, “It’s alright, I guess.”
It would be an understatement to say that Magnus was bummed, but he’d take it for now.
Now that all the shopping was accounted for, Magnus simply flicked the shopping bags home, and he and Alec strolled through the mall, which was slowly closing down. Shutters were coming down all around, and lights were slowly dimming.
Magnus was just contemplating where to get dinner when Alec spoke up, “Can we get going?”
“Of course,” Magnus replied, still in thought. There were quite a few Downworld restaurants that’d be open at this time, but maybe Alec would prefer a mundane restaurant? “Just let me think of where to-“
“Let’s just go back to the apartment,” Alec grumbled.
Magnus paused. “What do you mean, back to the apartment? You’ve been cooped up in there all day! Two days, in fact!”
“Magnus,” Alec sighed. “I’m hungry, and I’m tired, and I really need to pee, so can we please just-“
“If you can walk for just a few minutes, there’s several places nearby where we can eat,” Magnus pointed out. “Also, most restaurants have decent washrooms.”
Alec frowned, the type of frown that had Magnus mentally scrambling because he knew what came next.
“No,” he said firmly. “And I’m not going to budge this time.”
He'd been giving into Alec a lot recently, which was getting concerning. He needed to have at least some level of modicum.
Alec looked at him. "Plea-"
"No."
Alec pursed his lips. "I'll just run back to the house by myself, then."
"No you won't," Magnus said coolly. "Not unless you want to change into a short skirt in the middle of the street."
Alec narrowed his eyes at Magnus. "Those rules don't apply outside the house."
"Of course they do. I'm afraid I don't make the rules." Magnus shrugged languidly. "Oh wait, I do."
Alec stared at him consideringly for a long time.
"Fine," he grumbled at last. "But I get to choose."
Magnus paused at that condition. He wasn't really sure he trusted Alec’s taste. Shadowhunters didn't exactly eat for leisure. And this whole argument was about him not giving into Alec’s demands and establish some control.
On the other hand, Alec was actually going along with his plans for once and it might not hurt to loosen the leash a little.
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Unrealistic Love
Am I crazy for doing this idiotic thing, I always teased everyone about how it’s useless to meet someone by an avatar app. I always wanted things to go back to how it was but nowadays it seems that no one wants that anymore. Instead of meeting my soulmate face to face it has to be like this. 
“ Are you sure you wanna do this? You made fun of me when I went on that date with that hideous guy last week.” Said Rachel 
“ How would you know if he was hideous? You only judge him because of his avatar, not what he actually looks like.” 
“ Yeah Yeah. Anyways, aren't you excited about your date? This is your first time actually going on one of these dates. The whole I wanna find true love like the old times is so boring.” Said Rachel 
“ To you but not to me”, she left the minute I said that. I didn’t want to go on this date either way. I hated this generation more than anything. Sadly everything has changed and things are just different from what they were before. I missed the parts where a girl is able to get ready for a date and make herself pretty but instead, I just have to make an avatar like it was a game that they had a long time ago. My phone started beeping, making me realize that my date is about to start in 30 minutes. My avatar was somewhat similar to me but not completely. My nose was prettier and well my body was much slimmer. I’m not the only one that lies on the Avatar app. Many people do it too and end up falling in love with each other either way so it doesn’t matter to me. *DING DING*  My date is about to start. 
“ Hello Beautiful, how are you? “ was the first words David told me once we were on the top of the Eiffel Tower
“ Hello, I’m fine thank you & yourself? “ 
“ Better, now that you’re here with me, “ he said 
His Avatar has beautiful brown fluffy hair with hazel eyes. He looks like a good man but my thoughts know that this isn’t really real but fake. We aren’t really in the Eiffel Tower but both of us are in our houses in different states. I try shaking this feeling off and at least try to have a good night but everything just doesn’t seem right. I want more than just an Avatar date but a real pure date where he likes me for who I am and not for what my Avatar looks like. My thoughts get easily interrupted by the sound of his voice.
“ Are you okay?  Mia? “ He said 
“ Um, Yeah just a bit nervous this is my first time using the Avatar app so I'm getting used to it” 
“ I didn’t know Im your first Avatar date but I’m completely honored,” he said 
Maybe this was a mistake, I shouldn’t have come. I should leave, it's not like he’s going to know where to find me. We’ve only been talking for a couple of weeks. Nothing serious. I decided to give it a go and see how the date would go. He complimented me on how beautiful I look but that’s the thing that hurt me the most. I don’t necessarily look like my Avatar in real life. Would he never talk to me again if he found out what I really look like in person? 
“ Would you like a cup of champagne?” he said. It's funny because we don’t necessarily actually drink the champagne but pretend we do. I looked around and nothing was real. The trees weren't real. The water wasn't real. The moonlight wasn’t real. Nothing around me was real. That’s when I knew in my heart that I can’t do this and it was time I told him the truth. My thoughts were interrupted by him. 
“ Mia? Are you alright? You don’t really look too good? “ he said 
“ I don’t think I'm ready for this date. I mean I don’t really know you” 
“ What are you talking about? We’ve been talking for a couple of weeks. You know everything about me by now” he said 
“ It’s not about talking, but I mean this date isn’t real. How do I know what you look like in real life? You could be a horrible person on the other side of this Avatar. “
“ What are you talking about? You know me! This is me! Why can’t you understand that I don’t want to hurt you? I like you for who you are! “ he said frustrated
“ I don’t feel that way. I want old love. Actually going on a physical date and going out to stores in REAL life not digital” 
“ I didn’t know you felt that way. I wish you could have told me sooner,” he said sounding sincere 
“I'm sorry but that’s just how I feel.” 
“ Listen, I understand and with that being said I would like to actually physically go out with you” he said 
“ Are you serious?” I said a bit confused 
“ I told you, I like you for who you are not because of your Avatar but would you still like me? ” he said 
A couple of months passed by and David saved enough money and was able to call some days off work to be able to travel to my state of Arizona. My first in-person date and I was nervous to the point I almost walked out of the house without shoes. We decided to meet at a small coffee shop and go off from there. The only thing on my mind was, what if I wasn’t good enough in person that he would immediately leave me the minute he sees me? 
“ Hey, Mia” He stares into my eyes with his beautiful hazel eyes. 
He was perfect. We ended up talking for hours that day. We ended up getting married in the future and my one wish did come true. I was able to meet and love someone just like the good old days. 
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suna-reversed · 4 years
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Jujutsu Kaisen hcs- “please don’t leave”
alt. title- needy late night moments
Characters- Yuji, Gojo, Sukuna, Megumi
Tags- angst if you squint but mainly fluff
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Yuji- 
- You fell asleep on him while watching a horror movie late night. 
- His one hand clutched the popcorn bowl, the other coming around to cradle your head subconsciously as your body slumped over into his side. 
- His main task for the next hour was to not move a single muscle in fear you’d wake up and go inside the bedroom to sleep.
- He’s just been a little touch starved and liked the warmth you were radiating.
- His task proves to be quite difficult considering he was watching a horror movie with jump-scares every two minutes. 
- It takes 5 failed attempts at Yuji trying not to jolt up whenever something pops up for you to finally stir awake, and you find your eyes meeting with the absolutely terror filled ones of your lover.
- “Please don’t leave” he whispers in a voice that makes your heart break. You end up taking that as him being scared of the movie
- Still in a sleepy daze, you crawl over into his lap, affectionately nosing at his neck while his strong arms come around to hold you tightly, 
- “I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here mmkay?” A smile of pure tenderness forms across Yuji’s face, soon enough turning into choking laughter as you sleepily mumble, “I’m ready to throw hands with them dead people”
- “Zombies, babe. They’re zombies.”
- “The only thing they’ll be once I’m done with them is...dead” You slur out that last part, falling back into slumber with a small smile on your face as you feel Yuji shake with silent laughter, his hand coming up to gently pat the back of your head,
- “Thank you baby, I’d throw hands with zombies for you any-day too.”
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Gojo Satoru 
- You rolled over in the empty bed for the thousandth time that night. You had learned long before that on most nights you’ll be sleeping without your Satoru.
- So what was different today? Maybe it was the fact that he had informed you of his return. But it had been 2 days since then, and Gojo had never not shown up the same day that he’d told you he was coming back.
- Despite knowing the man you loved was practically undefeatable by most, your mind had considered every single possibility, from him getting captured by a curse to him tripping over and falling into an abandoned sewage line.
- Your stomach churned with anxiety as you considered whether calling Nanami this late to check on Gojo would be a good idea.
- You were halfway into typing his number when you heard the familiar click of the door unlocking, your feet carrying you to the front door faster than your mind could process it.
- And there he was. The bag of sweets he gets you each time in his left hand as he apprehended you with a raised brow and cocky look, 
- “Couldn’t sleep without me sweetheart?”
- He was met with eerie silence as you continued to stare at him. Your sleep deprived mind still processing that he was home. He was safe. 
- Gojo immediately sensed that something was wrong, but before he could react, you were walking towards him, crashing into his arms as he brought his hands around you when-
Thump! 
- Did you just...punch his chest? 
- “I was- I was so scared” you sniffed into his chest. “...you idiot.”
- Gojo’s heart twisted in pain as he heard a sob escape you, his arms tightening around you as he rested his chin on your head. He let you cry it out, gently picking you up and carrying you to the bedroom in midst of you murmuring various swear words at him 
- He finally felt you beginning to calm down as he tucked you in the on your side of the bed. But, as he pulled away, he felt a hand clutch onto his wrist, 
- “Please don’t leave” you said, your voice quivering. 
- “Baby...” he said with a gentle voice, “I’m just going to go change, okay? I’m not going anywhere”
- Even as Gojo changed, he felt your eyes digging into his back like he’d disappear if you let him out of sight for even a moment. 
- He quickly pulled on a pair of sweats, opting to not wear a shirt as he moved into bed with you, your limbs immediately coming to wrap around him. 
- You laid in silence for a while 
- “y/n?” You hummed in acknowledgement, face still buried in his chest
- “I’m always going to come back home to you my love. That’s a promise okay?” 
- You nodded in response, eyes turning glassy once more as Gojo leaned forward to pepper kisses all over your forehead, cheeks, and nose. 
- Gojo lifted his blindfold as he felt your breathing slow down, his ocean eyes filled with utmost adoration as he simply let himself admire your sleeping form. 
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Sukuna
- The curse found itself being stuck in its vessel at the most useless of times. - 
- After a late night mission when the brat crashed at your surveillanced apartment, while you completed the formalities and paperwork to submit to Nanami the next morning. 
- Walking out of the guest room, Sukuna found himself amused by your ability to fall asleep in the weirdest of places
- Currently, you sat hunched over the kitchen table, head resting sideways in your arms, tiny snores leaving your mouth as your eyes remained shut. 
- The curse looked back to a few days ago when it had found itself in it’s vessel’s body unwillingly again, a strange warmth curled in his left side. Looking down, he had realised that the strange warmth came from your huddled up body. 
- You had immediately snapped open your eyes and moved away as soon as he had let out a low chuckle. 
- So this time, he approached you carefully. But even then, he had expected you to sense someone’s presence so close next to you. 
- But there was no reaction from you, even as he pulled the chair right next to you and sat down on it.
- “Oi brat”
- Still no response.
- Oh, had you finally let your guard down?
- A dozen different malicious ideas filled Sukuna’s mind, but he found himself simply sitting there, awaiting for a reaction from you. 
- He wondered how you could sleep so comfortably on what was practically a wooden slab. And he found his answer questioned as he curiously leaned down on his own arms, facing you, your noses merely an inch away as he regarded your calm face with a raised brow. 
- He had imagined you to be snarky and biting at him even in your sleep. 
- Why had he imagined you sleeping at all?
- He found himself avoiding the question.
- He stilled as your eyes fluttered open, a cocky smile making it’s way on his lips as he awaited your fear filled eyes. 
- Instead, he found you simply staring back at him, the most of a reaction being you furrowing your brows slightly 
- He didn’t know whether he was a little offended by your lack of response or highly unsettled by your piercing gaze. Nonetheless, he found himself turning his head away, almost in a petty childlike manner. 
- Why did he not get up and leave?
- He felt a hand come to the back of his head, and his senses instantly got ready to go into offensive mode. 
- But this was something much much worse than an attack.
- He found your fingers gently brush over his hair, almost like you were absorbing it’s softness into your fingertips. The breaking point was you gently scratching his head with your nails. He almost purred. 
- But he also found his own hand coming up to grip your wrist, stilling your hand in place.
- “What-are-you-doing?” He emphasised each word as he turned his towards you again, hand still holding yours above his head.
- You continued to stare at him with a look he didn’t quite understand,
- “Your hair is...soft” You slurred your words a little, wiggling your fingers that were trapped in his hand. He let go, only to find you entangling your hand back into his hair, quite shamelessly this time as you closed your eyes once again.
- He didn’t know whether it was the tiredness of that night or simply your sleepiness, but you didn’t acknowledge it the next day. He chose not to either even though he had spent all night thinking of how he’d get to tease you with this.
- But, the king of curses did find himself leaning more towards you whenever you were in his presence. Your hand brushing with his every now and then. Him gently tugging on a strand of hair before tucking it behind your ear and you letting him. Staying right there if he woke up with you on his shoulder while on the train back from a mission. 
- Eventually, you show up to Yuji’s room on a day much similar to the night where you first touched the curse, eyes sunken and shoulders slumped, desperate for any sort of comfort and almost relieved at the fact that he was there. 
- He was taken back as you climbed into the bed, arms wrapping around him, hands going straight to tangle themselves in his hair as you buried your face in his chest.
- “Please don’t leave” 
- He found his own arms pulling you further into him because who was he to deny you when your touch felt so divine? 
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Megumi
- Getting a call from Megumi at 2 am after you had just returned from a mission was the last thing you had expected
- Megumi had grown considerably close to you for a boy who didn’t always wear his emotions on his sleeve.
- However, perhaps it was the fact that you had ended up giving him a tiny huge scare by going missing for a few hours on the mission
- It wasn’t anything major, you had gotten injured and accidentally strayed off the path you were ordered to follow
- Nonetheless, the news had reached the school, particularly Megumi, who was halfway out, ready to go and save you from whatever had taken you when the message had come that they had found you unconscious in some corner of the forest. He had only left the infirmary after being assured countless times that you were fine and being pulled away by Yuji.
- Still, he found his mind running and all he wanted was to hear your voice to make sure you were okay.
- He honestly hadn’t expected you to pick up, but he hadn’t known that the nurse had allowed you to go back to your dorm once you woke up.
- So he found himself speechless as he heard your voice
- “...Megumi? Is everything okay?”
- “Yes” he murmured.
- “The nurse told me you were there with me for quite a while…”
- There was a beat of silence before he said,
- “You scared me”
- He immediately hung up after that.
- You knew that it was difficult for him to express such emotions and so you found your feet carrying you to the front of his door
- You weren’t exactly sure of what you were going to do, but you didn’t have to figure that out as the door opened in your face, Megumi gesturing for you to come in.
- As soon as you shut the door, you felt your body being pulled into his warm embrace. You sighed, taking in his familiar scent of night-chilled mist and cedar as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.
- You eventually ended up on his bed, limbs tangled with each other under the sheets as he traced random patterns onto your arm to convey the words he couldn’t say, till he fell asleep.
- You found yourself noticing the time, sighing as you got ready to go back to your dorm, but Megumi noticed the slight movement,
- “Angel...” he murmured sleepily, nuzzling his head into your neck, “Please don’t leave.”
- Your heart melted at his words and the consequences of sleeping in another student’s room seemed to fade from your mind as you tightened your grip on him,
- “Never”
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blouisparadise · 2 years
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Since there are too many amazing BL canon fics to count, we decided to make a third part to our canon rec list. You can find the part one here and part two here. Happy reading!
1) Just A Trim | Explicit | 2260 words
The one where Harry gets a haircut, and Louis, along with the rest of the world, loses his mind.
2) Lips Are Like The Galaxy’s Edge | Explicit | 2360 words
Harry licks over Louis’ hole slowly, deliberately, and his tongue is like velvet and Louis’ skin is burning at every junction where Harry touches him and it’s all so good he thinks he might cry. He licks a few more times, moaning softly like he’s relishing the taste of Louis and that’s just, well, fuck.
3) What’s Yours Is Mine (What’s Mine Is Ours) | Explicit | 2982 words
Prompt: Something about Louis always waiting until the last minute to pack his bag for tour so one time Harry does it for him and then they’re thousands of miles away by the time Louis figures out Harry hasn’t actually packed anything useful. Whether it’s because Harry is just genuinely useless at packing for other people or because he wants Louis to be forced to wear his clothes is up in the air. Also Louis refusing to wear Harry’s clothes out of pure spite until Harry makes it up to him.
4) A Touch Of Your Love | Explicit | 3856 words
Harry’s physical training has been intense. He wakes up before the sun to run. He spends long hours in the gym boxing and lifting weights.
Louis usually likes working out with Harry when they’re on tour, and even now he enjoys going on a run or boxing a bit with Harry. But Harry hasn’t seemed to stop moving since he accepted the role in Dunkirk. And it’s not that Louis always needs to be the center of Harry’s attention, but he very much wants to be. 
5) Power Inside | Explicit | 5861 words
Louis wrinkles his nose and pokes Harry again. “You want a baby,” he repeats.
Again, Harry frowns. “Uh, yeah, Lou, I want a baby. So do you.”
Where is this even going. Harry honestly has no clue.
Abruptly, Louis stops frowning and practically throws himself off of Harry, splaying himself out on his side of the bed, arms spread wide. “Okay. Let’s make a baby, then.”
Can eyebrows get permanently attached to a hairline? Harry has a feeling he’s going to find out. “You do realize - ” he starts.
“Yes, Harry, I realize,” Louis says, stroking his fingers over the inside of his own thigh, ruking his shorts up. “You gonna shut up about it and give me a baby or am I gonna have to go out and find someone else to fulfill my deepest desires?”
He’s a nutjob. He’s a complete nutjob. Harry’s in love with a complete nutjob.
6) Heart Beats Slow (I Wish You) | Explicit | 6011 words
“These,” Louis pauses with a half-eaten toast in his hand and a stale bite of buttery bread still in his mouth, he feels like choking on it, “are girl’s pants. Why would I look good in girl’s pants? Do you not like my current choice in underwear or what?”
7) Want It All The Time, Need It Every Day | Explicit | 6306 words
Louis visits LA a week before the boys head to Australia for On The Road Again.
He and Harry have some catching up to do.
8) You Drive Me Wild (You Know You Do) | Explicit | 6632 words
Their management informs them that they have an interview right before the ARIAs, and it isn't until he's in a suit, seated on a couch between Liam and Zayn, that he gets the idea.
The interviewer, Angus, smiles at them, right before the cameras roll on, and a metaphorical light bulb goes off inside Louis' head. He's perfect. Well, not as perfect as Harry, but enough. He's attractive, attractive enough to drive Harry crazy, and he doesn't even think of the consequences of his actions, just decides right then. It's all Harry's fault anyway. Louis should be allowed to have a little fun.
9) I’m Broken, Do You Hear Me? | Explicit | 6957 words
Louis starts acting weird and distant around Harry, and it takes Harry a little while to put together what's wrong. When he finally does, he's determined to help Louis see just how much he loves every piece of him.
10) Glimpse Of The Silhouettes | Explicit | 7181 words
Harry isn't sure what the rules are for this. It's hard to believe that there are any, that's there's a handbook just waiting for him to buy: why is my best mate getting hard in my lap when I touch his arse?
11) Call Me Shallow But I’m Only Getting Deeper | Explicit | 7367 words
The one where Louis is a brat so Harry spanks him with a riding crop.
12) I’m An Addict Of Magic, And I Need My Fix | Explicit | 7994 words
Harry surprises Louis in Los Angeles while Louis is there on tour. Smut ensues of course and Harry goes a little overboard with marking Louis up with hickies. Louis ends up having to wear a turtleneck onstage to hide all of the marks littered around his neck and body.
13) Under the Vanilla Sky | Explicit | 8006 words
Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.
Who the hell wears a hat like that on a yacht?  That's one of the things Louis thinks when he sees Harry from across the deck of the most expensive, ridiculous boat he's ever been on.  He also thinks he'd like to get closer.  Just to see what's under those aviators.  Just to verify that, yes, in fact, those white swim trunks might be a little see-through when wet.  Just to see if someone could really be that hot in real life.  On a yacht.  In the Caribbean sea just off the coast of St. Barts. 
Here's what really happened on that yacht.
14) Reminiscing The Other Day | Explicit | 8317 words
Harry's invited to a wedding, and there's only so much Louis can hide.
15) Anything Goes | Explicit | 10275 words
Harry probably shouldn't be amused that Louis has a death grip on his hand and is dragging away from an event that, you know, they should be at. And he still probably shouldn't have that god awful smirk plastered to his face when Louis shoves him into the bathroom and steps in before locking the door.
16) The Sweat On Your Skin | Explicit | 11014 words
Louis is certain there's no better way to come down from a post-gym high than a naked romp in the bed with his favorite workout partner.
17) Cut To The Bone | Explicit | 11133 words
Harry celebrates his birthday in Japan. Louis stays with him.
18) Fumbling in the Dark | Explicit | 21599 words
Louis is straight, Harry is not. They still shag a lot.
19) Another Day Gettin’ Into Trouble | Explicit | 25619 words
Harry’s drunk when the idea occurs to him. He’s also a pop star, so sometimes his drunk ideas turn into actual things instead of just ideas. The clone-a-willy kit is one of them.
In Harry’s defense, when he first thinks about it his intention is just to buy the kit and give it to Louis to make his own dildo with, because that’s what he wants anyway, right? To have a penis filling him up?
Then he realizes that it would be weird if Louis made a copy of his own dick to fuck himself with. It’d be super weird. Louis fucking himself? That’s a weird idea. Harry’s pretty sure Louis wouldn’t like that.
Clearly the only solution here is to use his own dick for the mold.
20) Something In The World Today | Explicit | 48027 words
It shouldn’t be a surprise, the first time that Louis drops to his knees in front of Harry. It shouldn’t be, because it’s been something that Louis has needed for a long time. It shouldn’t be, because he’s been crawling out of his skin for weeks on end. It shouldn’t be, because Harry always makes him feel better. It shouldn’t be, because he’s needed this even when he didn’t know that he needed it.
Somehow, it still is.
Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.
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sinner-as-saint · 4 years
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Wreck My Plans.
Mob!Bucky x Reader AU
Run-through: Taking time off work, you come back to your hometown for the holiday season, and you decide to go clubbing with a few friends. There, in the middle of the dark, loud room your eyes meet with a pair of familiar blue ones. Ones which you never thought you’d see again after so many years. There he was, your ex-boyfriend; Bucky Barnes. 
Themes: mob!bucky, smut, fluff, 
a/n: i missed my Sin Army. Happy evermore day. And to my Marvel fam, how we doin’ after those trailers?!
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Time stopped. 
One minute the music was deafening and the next, you couldn’t even hear it. All you could focus on was your current, erratic heartbeat as you stared into a pair of stormy, blue eyes. They looked darker and much more mesmerizing than you remember. 
His name echoed in your head as a smile formed on your face. Bucky. 
The smile on his face mimicked yours as he walked over to you at the bar, crossing the ocean of drunk people swaying to the music. Amongst the crowd he crossed, were some of your friends who ditched you just minutes ago to go have fun with a pair of dudes they met just upon entering the club. 
You could join them, but rubbing your body against a stranger’s sweaty body was not what you intended to do tonight so you stayed back at the bar. 
Good thing you did so, else you wouldn’t have noticed Bucky on the other side of the room. 
You smiled a little brighter once he stood in front of you. Very, very well dressed in his dark suit. 
“Is it really you?” he spoke, teasing you right away. Just like he used to. 
You smiled and rolled your eyes at him, mainly to hide your nervousness as you realized how much deeper his voice had gotten. Or how much more attractive he was. He had always been a hottie, now even more so. Muscular and tall, even with the suit on you could tell he had a body to die for. 
You and Bucky broke up right after graduating high school. You moved for uni while he stayed behind and joined his family business. It wasn’t a messy break up, just two 18-year-olds deciding to end a relationship and focus on their futures. 
You finished college a few years later then moved again, for your dream job. And now, almost 7 years later, you were back in your hometown for the holidays for the first time in a long time. 
“It is. How have you been, Buck?” 
He smiled and took the seat right beside you. “Great.” he wasn’t lying. “You?” 
You let out a little laugh. “Are we seriously gonna do the whole work and the weather thing?” you asked, and he laughed. 
Oh how you had missed his laugh. It’s been years since you saw him, but everything about him was so familiar it hurt. The way his eyes closed when he smiled or laughed too hard. The blue in his eyes, the crinkles by them. The perfect shape of his nose which you always teased him for. 
Everything about him reminded you of a simpler, happier time of your life. 
He stared into your eyes for a few seconds, then smiled in nostalgia. “You’re just as pretty.” 
You rolled your eyes again, casually ignoring the sparks which flew in between you two. 
“Oh please. Enough about me, what about you? You’re quite the talk of the town I heard.” It was true, they were saying all sorts of things about him ever since you came home. No one knew where he lived, whether he was in town currently or no - he was, you just confirmed it a few minutes ago. 
“Yeah? What have you heard so far?” he spoke with a smirk on. Words didn’t affect him anymore. 
You raised an eyebrow. “So the rumors are true?” 
He chuckled, and signaled the bartender to bring him a drink. You watched each of his actions cautiously. Everything about him screamed power. His stance, his movements, his poise. You had heard around that his dad’s business was doing poorly years ago and he turned to some shady stuff. And he dragged his son along. Something about mob, gangs and illegal stuff. You had trouble believing it at first, because you knew him. You knew Bucky and you couldn’t imagine someone as gentle as him being associated with this side of life. 
But the smirk he gave you proved all those rumors and theories to be true. 
“Oh,” you wondered why you didn’t feel the slightest bit afraid. “Well, it suits you.” You scanned him quickly and wondered where you got the confidence to do that. 
You were right, it did suit him. The power, the mean yet magnetic demeanor, the way he could get absolutely everyone to stare at him in awe and fear - truly, it did suit him. 
He smiled and took a sip of his drink, then placed his glass down. “You should be running for the hills, not complimenting me. Is that what your strict, conservative father taught you?” The last part was an inside joke so he couldn’t hide his smile. 
You shook your head. Bucky and your dad never gelled well. Ever. “Leave dad out of this, he still hates you by the way.” your words made him chuckle at some memories. “So now what, you have gangs and guns and stuff?” you asked. 
“Yeah I’m kind of the bad guy around here.” 
You laughed. He stared at you in complete awe and he couldn’t help but smile. He felt it too, the pull or sparks or whatever it was that was preventing him from looking away. Like as though something had tied him to you and he couldn’t get away and he definitely didn’t want to. 
“You’re here with someone?” he asked, looking around and hoping you’d say no because he hated the thought of you being here with another man. Which was weird because he was meeting you for the first time in years, yet he was already feeling so protective. 
And that skin-tight coral dress you were wearing wasn’t helping either. 
“With some girl friends,” you replied and he quietly let out a sigh of relief, “But it seems they’re nowhere to be found.” You looked around and couldn’t see them. They were wild party animals anyways. 
Bucky smiled and got up from his seat, extending his arm out for you to take. “Come on then, let’s get out of here.” 
You took the last sip of your wine and took his hand. You let him guide you to the back of the club. “You know the owners?” you asked, seeing he was so comfortable in the space. He chuckled. 
“I am the owner, doll.” he answered in that cocky, velvety voice of his. And that nickname, that damn nickname brought back so many memories; they came flooding back in like it was no one’s business. 
The first time he kissed you. Prom. That road trip you took together. All the ones you planned but couldn’t take. All the times you snuck out of the house to hang out at his place. The one time you got caught and how your dad almost lost his shit completely. The time you had your biggest fight and didn’t talk for two whole days. How he apologized first for that one. 
You remembered everything. 
He held the door open for you as you slid into the passenger seat of his slick, black car. He was quiet when he got into the driver’s seat. But the silence was comfortable, like the kind you have around your closest friends and family; where you’re just happy with sharing space and air, just knowing the other is here and not having the need to fill the silence with useless talks. The kind of silence which spoke louder than words ever could. Comforting, and warm. 
He pulled into the entrance of a private property and your eyes widened for a brief moment. “You live here? This is your home?” you asked, a little surprised at the grandeur of the mansion in front of you, which grew bigger and bigger as you approached it. 
“One of my houses, yes.” he replied, cocky as always. 
You playfully scoffed. “Showoff.” you muttered, loud enough for him to hear and laugh at. 
He got out of the car and walked around to open the door for you. You rolled your eyes at his antics, “You don’t have to do all that, you know?” you teased. 
He chuckled and casually reached down to hold your hand in his as he guided you over to the front door. It was chilly out, so he walked a little faster. “Oh come on, I know I’m the bad guy now but I'm chivalrous enough to treat my ex-girlfriend right.” he played along, knowing exactly which word would get a reaction out of you. 
“Ouch.” you pretended to be hurt. He laughed as he ushered you into his home. 
The first thing you noticed were the guards. Then the extravagant foyer which led to the equally extravagant living room. The color theme, the lovely smell of the house, there was something about it which was so familiar, yet you couldn’t place a finger on it. 
“You have a beautiful home, Buck.” you looked around and noticed that the guards had left. 
He smiled and let go of your hand, letting you walk around his personal space for a bit. He could get used to this, the thought popped into his head out of nowhere. He could get used to seeing you in his home. 
“Come on up, you’ll love the library.” he spoke and extended his arm out again. You took his hand and he led you up the large, fancy wooden stairs. 
He was right. You did immediately fall in love with his library/study room. It was everything one dreams of. Spacious, yet cosy. Modern, but with a vintage twist. The right amount of light, but not too much. It was beautiful. 
You walked a few steps further and started noticing the little things; like the mini bar, the unused typewriter on the desk, the scattered papers next to it, the chandelier which made the room look magical. 
“This is beautiful.” you commented as you lazily skimmed through the books on the shelves. You heard him move around glasses in the background. 
“Thank you.” he paused, pouring himself a drink. “You want a drink?” 
You turned to face him for a brief moment. He had taken off his coat, leaving him in his very expensive looking black shirt. “Sure.” you answered, then you turned back around to check out the books and you could feel him staring at your back. You smirked as not so holy thoughts filled your head. 
How would tonight end? You wondered. 
You walked over to his desk and plopped down on his large seat. He walked over as well, placing your glass down and leaning against the edge of the table, staring down at you with a smirk on and a look in his eyes which you couldn’t quite understand. 
“What?” you laughed as you took a sip of the liquor. It was smooth, and sweet and left an amazing aftertaste in your mouth as it slid down your throat, burning just a little. It tasted expensive. 
“Nothing.” He replied, softly as he eyed you carefully. “I just can’t believe you’re here, after all this time.” 
You smiled and looked up at him. “Things changed, haven’t they? I mean, the Bucky I knew hated whiskey and brandy. He liked cheap beers and vodka.” you pointed out. 
Bucky smiled and rolled his eyes, shoving a hand in his pocket out of habit. Suddenly he looked much younger and very boyish. “He changed, Y/N.” 
This was the first time he used your name tonight and you felt funny inside. The good kind of funny. 
“Mhmm.” you agreed. “He got meaner.” you teased and stood up from the seat, and looked past him. Right by the couches, was a small coffee table upon which something shiny caught your attention. And being the curious being you are, you walked right over without a second thought. 
“You think?” he sounded playful as he watched you walk over to the coffee table where his guns were kept. He doesn’t usually leave them out in the open like this but he was cleaning them earlier so he left them there. 
Bucky watched how you picked one up and examined it. 
“Yeah,” you spoke up without taking your eyes off the hand gun. “He got dangerous.” You weirdly liked how it felt in your hands. A little heavier than you thought it would be. 
He was surprised at how comfortable you were with this side of him. Another woman would turn the other way and would run. But not you. “Be careful with that, doll.” he warned you softly. “They’re all loaded.” 
You smirked as you placed the gun down and picked up another. And you sensed him tensing up where he stood. 
“Don’t touch that one.” he said calmly. You frowned. 
“Why not?” you asked. 
He placed his glass down and walked over to you. “I’ve done bad things with that one. I’ve hurt bad people.” 
You knew your way around a gun. Your father used to hunt as a hobby so you knew the gun was locked. But just for the hell of it, you aimed it at him and smirked. “Yeah? I think I like this new Bucky a lot better.” 
He smirked, loving the fact that the city didn’t diminish your spunk. He realized then that you were still the same girl he fell for in highschool. “Careful.” he warned again, giving you a soft smile. Seeing you like this made him want to do bad things to you. He felt hot as he watched you aim a gun at him. He didn’t know why. 
“Scared?” you teased, loving the reaction you got out of him. The buzz of the wine earlier and the whiskey just now amplified your confidence and you loved it. 
Oh fuck you looked hot. It made it hard for him to focus on anything else. “Put it down, Y/N.” he kept his devilishly handsome smirk on. You held your ground and it made him groan and roll his eyes. He approached you and you giggled. He carefully took the gun from you and placed it back down on the table, then without another word said, he circled his arm around you and pulled you closer. “Good girls don’t play with those. You used to be so obedient, what happened?” he teased. 
You smirked, finding his body heat really comforting. “I’ve changed.” you purposely repeated his own words, then added, “Maybe I’m not such a good girl anymore.” you purred. He clenched his jaw and exhaled loudly. 
“Don’t tease me baby girl. I’m not as nice as I used to be.” his words made you all hot and bothered. 
You smirked. “Prove it.” 
And just like that, with one look of his, you were under his spell. He smirked and leaned in, purposely avoiding your lips as he gently kissed his way along your jaw. You shivered when his lips touched your neck; leaving soft kisses along the side of your throat while his hand wrapped tighter around your waist. 
He made you whimper and whine, you could feel him smirk against your skin. He pulled away after a while, and held your chin in between his forefinger and his thumb, and he looked into your eyes with an intensity which made your body tingle. His thumb soon moved up to touch your soft lips gently. He traced the shape of your mouth and spoke, “I’ve missed you.” he looked down at you softly. 
Your lips parted as he trailed his fingers down your chin, down your neck before he gently wrapped his fingers around your throat, applying just a bit of pressure there. You smirked as you looked up at him. “Not so sassy now, are we?” he sounded cocky and in control, just how you liked him. 
And suddenly all those years which had gone by didn’t mean a thing. You picked up right where you left off. The spark was still there. 
“Buck… please,” you whined under your breath. Oh how he had missed this… 
He chuckled. “Come here, baby girl.” he walked a few steps backwards and plopped down on the couch, pulling you onto his lap where you fit perfectly. A soft, unexpected moan left your lips as he slipped his hand under your dress and inched higher and higher up your leg, and caressed your inner thigh as he went. 
He smirked when you moaned and kept going. He leaned in to kiss your jaw and down your neck; his stubble brushing against your skin gently. His lips warm and soft as they peppered your skin with kisses, making you instinctively tilt your neck to give him easier access. He chuckled when you visibly trembled as his knuckles brushed against the front of the flimsy thong you were wearing. He couldn’t wait to tear it off your body. 
His need to have you grew with each passing moment. Hot, fiery, burning desire. Bucky slipped his hand past your underwear and touched your wet folds, his two fingers circling around your clit, “You’re dripping, doll.” He chuckled as you moaned when he slowly pushed a finger past your entrance. Then another and started gently pumping them in and out of you.
Your body throbbed. You whined, throwing your head back and letting him do whatever he wanted with your body. 
Bucky looked up at you in pure adoration as he placed his thumb on your throbbing clit and brushed it occasionally while he finger-fucked you; your wetness dripping and smearing all over his hand; his fingers touched you in all the right places; curling just right and massaging your walls perfectly. His other hand gently wrapped around your neck; not squeezing yet but just holding you firmly. 
You got a little louder as he sped up; his fingers slipping in and out of you with ease and eliciting sounds which turned you on even more. Seeing you were whining and whimpering already, Bucky moved his hand from your throat and pushed two fingers into your mouth; slowly pumped those two as well; an obscene attempt to keep you quiet. 
Your mouth immediately wrapped around his fingers. And he swore under his breath again at the sight of you so salacious and open; his fingers buried in your wet core, slipping in and out of you rapidly while his other two fingers were buried into your warm mouth. The sounds you made alone were enough to make his pants feel tighter; and make him want to devour you even more. You moaned when he sped up again; his fingers stroking your walls perfectly and increasing the sweet, almost agonizing pressure forming in between your hips. You felt a rush and a warmth washing over you; intensified by his tight grip at your throat.
“Are you gonna cum for me, doll?” he asked, leaning in to just bite your lip; not kissing you properly but just biting down and nibbling on your lower lip and making you go crazy. You whined in pleasure and nodded. He sped up again; and you rolled your hips against his hand in a haze – chasing your orgasm; moaning and whimpering. “Cum for me, come on, babygirl.” He encouraged you and tightened his grip around your throat just a little bit more.
You let the familiar waves of pleasure wash over you as you came all over his fingers; crying out loud in pleasure. Gushing out all over his hand as he kept pumping them in and out of you, getting everything he could out of you. Once satisfied, he removed his hand from your underwear and pulled his hand back from your throat and wrapped both his arms around you and pulled you closer to him, causing your sensitive core to brush against his crotch. And you could feel his erection. 
“You have no idea how bad I’ve missed you, baby girl.” He whispered against your parted lips. “I searched for you, but I couldn’t find a way to get to you.” 
“Buck…” your hands reached up to cup his face and you pulled away just a little to look down at him. “I’m here.” you whispered, breathless still. 
He wasted no time in pressing his lips to yours. He finally pressed his lips to yours and kissed you like there’s no tomorrow; there was nothing gentle or innocent about the kiss, just hunger and passion and pure craving. His soft lips moved perfectly against yours through the messy kiss. He moaned through the kiss when you slid your hands into his hair and tugged on it gently. His hands rested on the curve of your ass; holding you close to him as he gently pulled away from the kiss and stared into your eyes. 
He gripped your waist and pressed your cloth core onto his, making you grind against him; causing you to feel his hard on through his pants. You almost moaned at how big and firm he felt. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, and your body shuddered as a wave of pleasure washed over you while you shamelessly rocked your hips ever so gently against his clothed hard on. He smirked at your involuntary actions. 
“Fuck… I need to have you. Now.” he growled before pushing you down on the couch and hovering on top of you. He purposely pressed his crotch down in between your parted legs, making you moan at how fucking big he felt. “You feel that?” he breathed into your ear and made you shiver at how deep his voice sounded. You could almost feel the lust in his voice. “You did that, babygirl.” He pulled away from your face a little to look at you, smirking. 
He kissed his way down your body, sliding your dress down your body while at it. You felt his mouth in between your thighs. Your back arched off the surface of the couch as his tongue slowly circled your throbbing clit and licked down, parting your wet folds with ease. 
Your taste drove him wild, so did your soft whimpers. Your hand flew to his hair and you tugged on it gently as he flicked his tongue over your clit over and over again. His stubble rubbed against your sensitive skin incessantly, and the friction burned a little but it was the kind of pain you kept wanting more of.
His deep blue eyes watched you in awe and how you lost control under his touch; legs shaking as he teased your entrance with the tip of his tongue. His hands wrapped around your thighs, securing you in his grip as he pushed his face further into you, making you cry out loud. You came violently all over Bucky’s tongue, body shuddering and shaking while you moaned his name out loud. It gave him a pleasant rush when he heard your strained voice moan out his name. 
He kissed your inner thighs, licking you clean before kissing his way up your body and finding your lips again. He kissed you with ardor; eager to just be inside you already and make you squirm and shake under him, but he also wanted to cherish each moment and worship your body. You felt his tongue stroke the top of your mouth, and his hands touched you wherever he could; your breasts, your waist – leaving trails of goosebumps wherever his fingers touched your skin.
He pulled away for a bit and grabbed both your wrists and pinned them down on the couch above your head. “Keep your hands there for me, baby girl.” He mumbled under his breath and lifted his hips to align his erected cock to your entrance. You instinctively spread your legs apart to give him more room. His hand reached down and he pumped his cock, rubbing it all over your dripping core in the process. You squirmed and moaned when he did so; the tip of his cock rubbing up and down your wet lips, parting them as he circled your clit gently. You shuddered under him; whining in need. Your body begging him to just take you already. 
“Look at me.” He almost moaned as he whispered a little breathlessly, looking intensely into your eyes. The dimmed lights made his eyes look darker than usual, and his face looked dangerously handsome. His voice was deep – which caused the butterflies in your stomach to go crazy. With a slow, steady push, he inserted his length into you. You shuddered as you felt all of him. You heard his ragged breaths as he removed himself out and pushed himself back into you again.
You moaned out loud, unable to hold back the sound which escaped your lips. “Fuck…” was all you were able to mutter under your breath as he pulled out of you completely, then pushed back into you again; filling you up entirely.
He sped up just a little, rocking his hips against yours and his hand reached up to wrap around your neck gently. He stared into your eyes, speeding up into you again. He leaned in to kiss your open mouth, shamelessly shoving his tongue past your parted lips and stroking the inside of your mouth. You could only nod senselessly, overwhelmed by how good he felt deep inside you. His lips left your mouth and kissed down your face. You let out a moan as he found your sweet spot, and felt him smirk against your skin. You moaned again as he bit and licked the skin beneath your jaw, all while slamming into you relentlessly; stretching you out and pounding into you like his life depended on it.
You could no longer keep your hands off him so you reached out and held onto his shoulders; your nails digging into his skin as you felt a pressure forming around your lower region. Bucky quickened his pace and pounded into you harder than before; the sounds of your skin slapping one another resonated around the room. 
The dim light made his eyes look even more piercing than usual. Your legs trembled as you wrapped them around his waist. The new position was much more pleasurable for the two of you; the tip of his cock touched your most sensitive spots and your back arched off the couch – your chest pressing against his partially unbuttoned shirt; his body heat radiating through the fabric.
You moaned out loud and he very gently tightened his grip around your throat. His voice cracked as he whimpered in your ear. He somehow sounded needy but in control at the same time, and it drove you crazy. You felt your walls clench around him, and tighten around his thick member; making him swear out loud.
“Cum for me, babygirl. Come on.” he panted against your cheek, kissing the side of your face and gripping your jaw with his hand. He didn’t slow down as you felt your orgasm wash over you, he kept pounding into you as your eyes rolled back and you moaned out his name as you came – hard.
You whimpered at how he kept slamming into you even after you came, and your face burned as you felt the knot forming again right at your core. Bucky fucked you relentlessly; not even stopping for a second. He panted and groaned at how good you felt and shamelessly told you about it; whispering against your skin about how perfect you felt around him – wet and warm all for him. You moaned as you felt your second release approaching while the first was still fading. Your legs were numb, and your body moved along with his like a rag doll; yet, you wanted more of what he had to give. You craved him.
A rush coursed through your veins as you felt your mind clouding with lust again. His large frame hovering above you as he tightened his grip around your throat just a little more. “Cum for me again, come on.” He growled, his lips dangerously close to yours as you whined and whimpered under him.
A series of cuss words left your lips as you came for the second time in a row, walls tightening around his length. He bit down on your lip as you lifted your hips to meet his thrust; chasing your release. Your body trembled under him as you came again; gushing out around his cock while he still pounded relentlessly into you before slowing down again.
He kissed you again, while you tried to steady your breathing and calm your racing heart. He chuckled when he pulled away to look at how disheveled and messy you were all because of him. His hand left his throat and his thumb traced your lips again, he was mesmerized by how much of a whimpering, tear-stained mess you were. 
“It’s okay doll, I’m right here.” 
---
You woke up in his bed. 
And the flashbacks of the time spent there hit you immediately. 
You felt his arms around you as you peaked from under the blanket to try and reorient yourself. The room was brighter. You checked the time and it was around ten in the morning. 
Well, there goes that family breakfast you promised your parents. 
You felt Bucky stir in his sleep behind you. He peeled one eye open and smiled at the sight of you still in his bed. 
“Morning baby girl,” he said in a deep, groggy morning voice which made your heart flip. 
“I have plans with my family, you know? You’re just, shamelessly wrecking them.” You teased and watched how his smirk grew. His arm tightened around your body, under the covers. His touch was warm and gentle as he tugged you closer to his equally warm body. 
Your bare chest pressed against his and you looked up and stared into his blue eyes. They were so dreamy you still couldn’t believe they were real. 
“Oh please. Admit it, you like it better here with me rather than being confined in that old man’s house.” He rolled his eyes as he mentioned your dad. 
You giggled. Him and your dad always hated each other. 
“Imagine what he’d say once he finds out I’ve been hanging out with the bad guy. Again.” You played along. 
Bucky laughed and leaned in to kiss your forehead. “I’ll deal with him. I’d do anything for you.” he whispered softly, the last part even more so. 
Your heart did that thing where it felt like it was bursting into a millions little pieces in the best ways. The butterflies in your stomach went wild at the sound of his morning voice. You looked up at him and then leaned in to kiss his neck softly. 
“I missed you, you know?” 
“Hmm, I know.” 
You giggled and hugged him tighter. “What now?” you asked, thinking about what would happen two weeks from now, when you’d have to get back to the city. 
His chest rose and fell as he took a deep breath. “I was planning on expanding my… business to another city. How is it over there?” he asked, a smirk forming on his face as he waited for your reaction. 
Your eyes widened as you quickly pulled away and sat up on his bed with a shocked look on your face. “You’re moving?” 
He smiled at you. “I’ll go wherever you go at this point. I just got you back, I'm not giving up on us this time.” 
“Are you sure about this? Our lives… they’re so different.” you looked down at your lap as you spoke. “Will we make it?” 
He sat up and leaned against the headboard, pulling you onto his lap, caging you in his arms. “Oh we will.” Then he looked past you for a brief moment, out the floor-to-ceiling windows. He noticed the snow falling delicately. It was truly beautiful, but nothing matched how pretty you looked - messy hair, swollen lips, love bites all over your skin. 
He leaned in to kiss you, then whispered against your lips. “We will make it doll, don’t you worry. Just trust me.” 
a/n: ily.
4K notes · View notes
gojoho · 4 years
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PATIENCE
• pairing; au!ryomen sukuna x reader
• premise; you were different than the rest, and with a simple touch the devil makes peace with his boredom for the taste of your skin.
• words; 2,798
• note & warning; every time i proofread what my demon chose to write at three in the morning i cry. why am i like this? honestly, i had so much trouble with sukuna it's amazing that i found a ground to make this on. anyway...unprotected sex ( wrap it up or pack it up ), dirty language, ownership, creampie-breeding kink? i never know which one it is, these mfs just never pullout. enjoy i suppose?
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Sukuna was accustomed to the cults that proudly proclaimed him as their leader, or better yet, The Chosen. False disciples to his name, many of which tried to justify their treacherous lives in comparison to his glory. A pathetic bunch he wasted little time over, not one of them much of a rivalry towards that of a king. Though your blood was far too innocent, even for a ruthlessly being as himself, he would not take on such a burdened responsibility. Having been blamed for far less, he wouldn’t live this one down. Feasibly the only reason death escaped you.
Obsession, fascination, none of which seemed that far from one another with him, nor did it matter. At any capacity mortals were tedious, their petty materialistic need; gold this, that, and whatnot. Maybe he was just bored, but then he wouldn’t be giving you much credit, would he? He was quite patient for his tetchy personality, letting you grow accustomed to his territory, where you’d spend the rest of your days. A cub seeing the pride lands for the first time.
“Follow the rules, and you’ll do just fine little cub.” You never shied from his touch, letting him indulge your soft skin, squeezing, nipping, kissing every and anywhere he pleased. But your worth was still up for question thus far, what did you bring that the others couldn’t.
“Open.” You would sit between his legs, knees bent to his divinity abiding every command. Allowing his salty fingers against your tongue, their cleanliness unbeknownst to everyone except him, but it only made you suck on them more. “So eager for me to ruin you.”
That made two of you, but he wouldn’t, not just yet.
He kept you, his precious new pet, close. Allowing your scent to fill his bed, swarm his clothes, and plague him with a hunger driven by an appetite that was you. It wasn’t as if he didn’t trust you, he didn’t trust anyone, but he did trust your behavior. The way you managed to curl up against him at night, your soft snores fanning his back, no matter how much space there was in his bed. How you followed behind him everywhere he went, involuntarily making things less...irritating. Yet your consistency didn’t extend towards the others. Vicious and vengeful, they’d see to it that he’d fall by any means necessary. Even if it meant going through you or letting it be by your own hand.
“Cub,” he’d call you over, legs wide and waiting. You’d mount him facing forward, shamelessly letting your body unwind against his touch.
Fingers working the robes from your frame with ease, instant access to the skin beneath. All while his lips worked around your neck, touching up his handiwork of pink and purple blotches around it. The product of every session. Before he’d break you off, truly make you his, preparation was in order. It’s started with your chest, his hold over your bosom, the small mouthes in each hand working their peaks. Swirling sucking nibbling away at their tenderness until you’d grind against his bulge. Drenching him with your arousal. Clothes only got in his way, he’d have you roam around naked if he pleased but that was sight met only for his eyes, and his alone. Your robes, makeshift Sukuna hand-me-downs, was a barrier between the world and what was his.
After all, it was his touch that made you a mess. ”You're already so wet for me, little cub. Maybe I'll fuck you tonight. Maybe.”
He moved a hand to your heat, parted your folds with two slender fingers while the other hand still devoured your nipple. Sukuna was greedy, common knowledge to anyone who came across the curse, but with a hunger driven by your flesh, he was more insatiable than ever. It wouldn't be long until you were writhing in his lap, every bit of noise coming from your lips. Crying out as he worked your orgasm with his fingers plunged deep in your depths and the tongue on his palm lapping at your clit feverishly.
”Kuna,” you'd mewl, with arms stretched up to his face. The only person still alive to say it let alone give him a nickname.
The rules were simple;
Speak when spoken too
Eye contact
No kissing
A cruel rule that reminded you what the relationship was. He wasn't your lover or anything to you. You belonged to him and he'd use you however he saw fit. If that meant raw dogging you, believe he'd fuck you silly.
Simple, but still difficult nonetheless. He watched your face upturn in admiration, eyes flickering between his and his lips with each whimper. You wanted to kiss him, have his tongue so far down your throat until you choked. Sukuna knew all too well the look you gave him and smirked pressing his fingers deeper, taking your wanton ones to hold his cheek into his mouth. The closet you've gotten to a kiss, but soon your eyes would wander to mess that was your body, watching him unravel your seams, the first orgasm shuddered throughout you.
The first time he had his way, you'd barely made it past one orgasm from his fingers. Now it was six, with at most his fingers and three mouths. He wondered if you’d handle his cock if thrown into the mix. With that thought alone his mind wandered, you handled his hands well but the mystery behind your lips made him twitch just thinking about it. A pretty face with such a content expression, so grateful he granted you a full mouth. Could you handle all of him? If you could, he would've taken what was already his, turned you inside out, and left your body useless to any other being but him.
He deprived himself of a release, letting it build along his thighs and boil at the deepest parts of his body. You were going to take it all from him, feed his hunger while he quenched yours. Truly teaching you what it meant to belong to Ryomen Sukuna, The Great King of Curses.
Each session left you craving more, made your hips sink further against his moving in pure need. Sukuna let you wallow in your tension, desire unkempt and rowdy beneath his nose. You were conflicted between the logic prancing your mind and the hunger of your heat. Where the thought of him feeding you more than just a few fingers made it throb for a release, to be relieved from the fear that kept it empty and unfulfilled.
You'd missed the comfort his presence brought to the bed when pressing matters stole his attention, without it sleep was surreal. Eluding your conscience till he would come back late into the morning, exhaustion settling through the afternoon if he allowed you to. Until one afternoon where he’d prepare to set off again, another village another reign of terror, Sukuna almost missed the tiny grasp at his robes. The few steps he took towards to the exit fell short by his other end.
”Please,” you'd whisper out pleading for him to stay with a mere word.
For a minute, with his sudden stride and grip over your jaw, you think it's enough. That the way he searched your eyes with his bright red pair, you thought you’d convince him. ”If you expect me to abandon my duties for that cunt of yours, you’re going to have to try harder than that little cub.”
His lips ghosted yours, taunting that separate ache from the rest of your body. Practically testing you to see if you’d break one of his rules; screaming to go ahead, kiss him.
”Well then?” he cooed, lips nearly there but your silence only irritated him. Did he spoil you too much, indeed give you too much credit and mistaken you for something you weren't—
”Please Kuna, I need you.”
”Cute…” He smirked, thumb slipping between the two of you teasing your bottom lip. ”No.”
It was a lie if he said he wouldn't turn you around right there and give in to the temptation. Fill your womb with what felt like decades' worth of his cum. Staining his sheets and your insides. Sukuna already knew you needed him, it was because of that need, that the light in your eyes settled to a palpable glow. Later completely gone by the time of his return.
Sukuna never thought to imagine you upset, not with the way you clung to him. Never did he think it would upset him as much as it did. You slept far from his end of the bed, shielding your body from his touch with the linen. The nerve of you, but he knew it was only a matter of time until he’d have you in his lap again.
Wrong.
Too much time had passed since he denied you of your request, too much time since he’s touched you, too much time since you’ve touched him.
“Cub” he called, but for the first time, he was met with hesitance.
You sat on his lap, back to his chest as per usual, but without your usual excitement. Nothing he couldn’t fix, and like always he started with your chest, getting you to flood over his crotch. By then Sukuna would’ve gotten at least a whimper but you remain uncharacteristically quiet to his touch, jabbing at his ego. Come to find out you’d bitten your lip, holding off from letting him hear just how good he was making you feel.
“Brat,” he hissed with the teeth in his hand nibbling at nothing but your clit but even then the most he got was a huff. “Fine, if that’s how you want to play this game.”
It didn’t take much to lift you up from his chair, face planting you straight into the bed. You yelp at the sudden grip over your waist as it hauls your bottom half into to air. This was far from what he planned, but he’d be a fool to let you carry on with your childish ways.
There was no protest with the way he positioned himself to his knees behind you, shedding himself of his robes, setting his cock free into the late-night air. You would never shy away from looking at him naked, curious of every black line, where they connected and didn’t connect. Still, only catching brief glimpses of him, but now that it was there before you—just one taste, that was enough right? It would make any man happy to hide his cock in a pretty mouth like yours, burying it far beneath your throat, hell it made Sukuna weigh his options but he was beyond horny and irritated.  
He gifts himself a few strokes, over your cunt, introducing it to its owner. Coating himself in the mix of his salvia and your arousal before pushing the tip past the slick gates of his personal Eden. He sunk into your bowels just past the tip before meeting the resistance of your walls. There was no distinction as to whether you’d been too tight or that he was too big, just that it made him want more. A snug fit, one in which he yearned to destroy, leaving you walls irreversibly stretched.
Your arms flailed around, desperate to find anything to grip onto but Sukuna didn’t give you much of a chance before introducing the rest of his inches to your heat.
“Fuck,” you whined. A squeak of unbearable amazement that all of him was inside you. “Wait.”
He was going to bury himself down to the hilt, each time, fuck you till you were a simpleton. It was always his intention to do so, but your impatience got the best of him.
”Quiet, ” he growled spreading your ass to see himself encased by your insides. Surprisingly you swallowed him whole, but he was sure if you kept squirming away it’d be even more painful. ”This is what you wanted, wasn't it? My cock in this slutty hole of yours.”
”Kuna please.”
”Please Kuna, I need you—is that not what you said?”
”Yes…but fuck—”
”Well now you got me, so keep fucking still and take it.” He shooed your pleading palm from his view and adjusted himself. The movement drove him deeper and you mewled beneath him like a feral feline.
A draft followed behind his pelvis as he pulled out only about halfway, your pussy gripping him as he did. He didn’t trust you wouldn’t squirm again and anchored your hips to his grip. Snapping into you once more, stretching more than his previous thrust.
Sukuna took pride in the size of his cock, in the way it left room for only one, only him. You were going to split in two, or at least it felt like it; he was so big, out of place, but just big. Though that was merely the calm before the storm, with no confirmation let alone sign to warn you, he moved again. Starting off with a strong rhythm that rocked the entire bed. He didn’t do slow, his adjective was to punish, ruin, destroy exactly why you were to be prepared.
With a guttural groan, you felt his cock work, biting against the linens as it drilled in and out of your slickness, squelching all around it.
“Listen to that,” he cooed. “Telling me to wait when your pussy sounds like this. I’m going to fill you up so well. Is that what you want kitten?”
Kitten…
An upgrade from little cub you suppose. The harder he goes, the louder both ends of your body get. Wanted was putting it loosely, it was something, if not the only thing, you needed. Yet it’s still not enough, and so Sukuna stops, leaving you lost to the pleasure he provided. Still full with his cock you moan, pleading for him to continue, eyes barely open and lips pierced by your top teeth. “You know the rules. Speak.”
Bucking against him, desperate for any friction, you whined. “Kuna.”
“Whining gets you nowhere,” He said teasing you with slow strokes in time with your desperate hips. “Answer. The. Question.”
“Yes, ” You were begging for it, the high fading from the mind a little too quickly. ”I need it, all of it.”
Now that you stroked his pride, it was only fair he’d returned the favor. Fleeing from their post against your chest, Sukuna’s hands reach up to your throat. Pulling you up to your own knees, squeeze gently. Pumping into your dripping cunt faster, harder, deeper. Strumming at the chords of your orgasm with each lewd noise he pulled with his cock. Saliva dribbling from your chin.
“Look at you,” he grunted, his own pleasure catching up to him. “Drooling from both ends.”
“Sukuna.”
He leaned into your hands, giving permission for them to tug at his roots, while he nuzzled his nose over your cheek, taking in every crude scent. “Hmm, fucking perfect.”
A compliment if he’d ever given you one, his irritation fleeing from his body and the only thing he can think about is just how good it felt to finally be inside you. The ache of his cock finally being milked.  His hand traveled down your body, caressed every curve, every nipple until they settled on your hips.
”Get down, and open up for me.” he ordered quietly, letting his pace falter before getting an obedient ’hmm’
Anything for Sukuna, anything that brought on your orgasm. You arched forward and parted your knees wider, sighing from his hand over your ass again. Kneading and pulling each cheek apart. Picking up the pace again, he wanted to see his cock twitch inside you. See how your body would react. Sukuna wanted to see the mess he made of your hole.
You let a series of colorful curses fly, it was hard to say anything with the explosion inside you, the heat itching just beneath your skin as the adrenaline spiked and rocked you into oblivion.
“Sukuna,” you managed to say but he already knew, feeling the coiling contraction refusing to let him go. A deadly grip that sucked his orgasm through.
The visible veins around his cock, throbbing beneath the thin layer of skin. Slightly moving as the rest of his length spasmed violently against the confines of your flutters. ”Fuck, look at you go, milking me dry.”
His cum wasn't as fluid as it was thick, weeks of pent up lust oozing from your folds. But it meant nothing more but for Sukuna to click his tongue and thrust forward gently a few more times. Fucking it all back into you. Your body twitched ”Oi, shape up, I've only just begun. Besides, I want to try that pretty little mouth of yours.”
You were going to ruin him, as he was you.
2K notes · View notes
staticscreenwriting · 3 years
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HOME // Bucky Barnes
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Request: Could you do a Bucky Barnes imagine where he blips but the reader is pregnant so when he comes back he meets their daughter? If not that’s totally understandable and I hope you have an amazing day/night 💕
A/N: Look, I love writing angsty Bucky. But I also love writing happy Bucky. Hope y’all love reading this ♥  Likes, reblogs, comments are all much appreciated.
Join my taglist here! [additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.]
Thanos being defeated was not the end of it all. It seemed like it. The grand heroic solution to all problems. The ultimate test before things got better. Before they got easier.
That was a lie.
Bucky looks across the vast area of the Stark’s estate as people, all dressed in black, mourn the loss of a dear friend, an idol, a husband, a father.
That word sends a wave of anxiety and fear through him. He knows he can’t run forever and really, he doesn’t want to. He just doesn’t know how to deal with — everything. How to be the man he needs to be. How to step up and not fuck this up.
Sometimes fear makes you do stupid things, really stupid things. Like avoiding the love of your life because you are too afraid of what she might think of you.
His eyes find (Y/N) as she leans against a tree, lips pulled into a sad smile as Sam rambles about one thing or another next to her. This isn’t right. Sam shouldn’t be the one cheering her up and trying to get her to smile. It should be him. If only he wasn’t such a coward.
People don’t talk about these things though. They only talk about those that had been gone now being back again. They talk about the joy of being reunited but not the fears, the sadness, the disappointment — and they sure as hell don’t talk about the guilt.
The guilt of coming back after 5 years to find out you missed so many important moments in the life of a child you never knew you had.
His eyes wander down towards the little girl holding on tightly to her mother’s hand. She has his eyes, his dark hair, his lips. She’s a spitting image of his younger sister. A Barnes through and trough.
Every time he looks at her his heart beats out of his chest in a way he’s never felt before. When they say that the love for your own child is an instant emotion, they are not wrong or exaggerating.
The moment he came back from oblivion and first laid eyes on her, it felt like his heart had known her all his life. He wanted to hold her and shelter her from all the bad things the world might throw her way. Wanted to kiss her little nose and read her stories and sing her silly little songs. He hated singing but for her, he wanted to do it. Just because that’s what dads do.
But fear is one hell of an emotion and above all, it’s terribly convincing.
He’d never had a particularly good example of a father. It was different times then. Different ways of raising your child. Fathers weren’t meant to show affection, they were meant to enforce rules and order. How could he ever be good at this? He doesn’t have a single clue how to do any of this.
And then there’s the fact that he’s left (Y/N) alone to deal with all of this. Every first has been forever taken from him. First breath, first cry, first word, first steps. Every little thing.
Would she resent him for it? For not being there when it mattered?
So he ran. He came back and he ran.
She doesn’t deserve this and neither does (Y/N). They deserve so much better.
“ It’s time Buck. “ Steve speaks up as he leans against the porch railing next to his oldest friend.
“ Are you still sure about this? “ Bucky asks, not taking his eyes off of his girls. His stomach feels like he’s swallowed a bag of bricks. Life was supposed to be easier after Thanos. This isn’t easy. This is just scary. And sad.
“ That, “ Steve says and nods his head towards (Y/N) and the girl “ that’s your second chance. I gotta take mine. “
Bucky turns to look at his friend trying to figure out what to say next but coming up empty. What do you say to that? Steve deserves to be happy. He deserves to be where his heart always has been. Does it mean Bucky thinks it’s the right choice? Not necessarily. But he understands. Had it been him and (Y/N) he would’ve crossed time and space to be with her.
Which is ironic to think because now all he does is avoid her. Because that’s the coward he is.
“ Alright let’s go. I’ll grab Bruce you do — whatever you gotta do. “
He dares to send one last look towards (Y/N) and this time she’s looking back with a soft eye and a timid little smile on her lips. None of which he is deserving of.
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Steve let's go of Sam, parting with one last friendly slap on the back before turning towards Bucky.
Bucky's throat feels dry and rough and while his head is swirling with words he wants to say, none of them really make it past his lips. He's known about Steve's idea for a few days now, has had time to let it settle and come to terms with it. It still breaks his heart but sometimes that's what you do for the people you love. You support them on their path to happiness even if it hurts you in the process.
"I'll miss you," Bucky finally manages to say and he wraps his arm around his friend's shoulder. "You'll always be my brother."
"I know. I'll miss you too. But I know you're in good hands." Steve responds and lets his gaze wander towards the house, no doubt talking about (Y/N) and the kid.
"Promise me something, Buck." He says as he pulls away.
"Anything."
"Talk to (Y/N) and get to know your daughter. She's a Barnes through and through. And she loves you so much, they both do. Let them. Love 'em back."
"Kid doesn't even know me," Bucky murmurs, nervously glancing at the floor.
"What? You really think that? Buck, all we did for the last 5 years was try to keep your memory alive. For us but especially for her. We showed her pictures and videos and (Y/N) told her so many stories. She knows you and she loves you and for the first time in her life, she's living in a world where her dad is alive and present. Go, be with them. You guys need each other."
He's right. Of course, he's right. Steve has this fantastic ability to be right when it matters.
“And don’t do anything stupid until I get back!” Steve adds, making a small smile appear on Bucky’s face.
“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you. “
They embrace each other one last time before Bucky whispers another “I’ll miss you” and Steve tells him that “It’ll be okay, Buck”.
And then everything happens so fast. One moment he’s living in a world where his best friend is by his side and a minute later all of that has forever changed.
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Bucky wipes his eyes with the back of his hand one last time before looking at himself in the mirror. He knew this moment was coming, Steve told him. He had time to come to terms with it and yet it’s a completely different situation now that it’s done. Parting with the only family you’ve ever known breaks your heart in ways you’ve never known are possible.
As he steps out of the bathroom something solid crashes against him and as he looks down, a pair of identical blue eyes stare back at him. He’s not been this close to her since he found out about her, keeping her at a distance. To protect her.
His arm was made to kill how could it ever hold a child and keep it safe?
She stares at him for a moment before a small “Hi” falls from her lips. It’s shy and timid and adorable and all Bucky wants to do is cuddle her to his chest and never let her go.
He doesn’t get the chance though as another little girl rushes past them and calls out to his daughter to follow her which she does.
“Who is that?” Bucky hears Morgan question.
“That’s my daddy, but I don’t think he wants to see me. Mommy says he needs time but —“
He doesn’t hear the rest of her words as the girls round the corner and get swallowed by the sounds of the other guests still mulling around sharing stories about their fallen hero.
But it’s enough. He doesn’t need to hear more. Those words are enough to rip his heart out of his rib cage, crush it up into a million little pieces, and spread it in the winds, never to be able to be put together ever again.
“Hey have you seen — oh Bucky are you okay?”
He doesn’t deserve her tenderness, her kindness, and her care, and yet she still exudes the same love she’s always held for him. Love he was never deserving of from the beginning.
It doesn’t matter at that moment though, who deserves what and who doesn’t. He’s too caught up in the breaking of his own heart. So he falls into her arms as silent tears slowly but surely make their way down his cheeks.
“She thinks I don’t want to see her.”
“Who does?” (Y/N) says as she gently combs her fingers through his long hair.
“My own daughter. “
(Y/N) pulls away slightly, holding onto his shoulders and looking deep into his eyes.
“Are you ready to talk about this now? Ready to stop avoiding me ?”
Bucky only nods and lets her lead him outside past the guests and down to the lake where it’s quiet and serene and life seems to slow down a little. She keeps holding on to his hand, his vibranium one, as they settle on a bench facing each other.
“ I missed you, Bucky.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
He’s been told those words so many times and it’s still hard to believe in them. Even when he knows they’re true. There will always be a hint of doubt since him. Always.
“I don’t — I don’t want her to think I don’t love her. Or want to be with her. I do love her very much. More than I have ever loved another person, including you, and you are my everything. I’m just overwhelmed and — and scared.” He admits. It’s the first time he says those words to anyone but himself. It feels good. It feels right. But it doesn’t take the fear away or the guilt.
“James, she knows you love her. Not a day went by that I didn’t tell her how much her daddy loves her and wants to be with us. And it’s okay to be scared. I was scared and I only had to deal with a baby, not an opinionated 4-year-old. It’s okay to be scared but you can’t let the fear hold you back. You’re the bravest man I know. You laugh in the face of danger. What changed?”
“Stakes are higher this time. What’s losing my life compared to ruining my daughter’s?”
“You’re not gonna ruin anyone’s life, Buck.” (Y/N) exclaims and softly pets the side of his face. She’s always been so gentle with him. Such a contrast to the touches he was used to.
“I don’t know the first thing about being a dad. Mine wasn’t a very good example. I have been trained to kill, to cause pain. My arm is a weapon.”
“Your arm has shielded me from bullets and harm so many times. It’s held me close at night and wipes my tears when I was sad. Your arm is only a weapon if you use it like that. And all the other stuff, that’s not you anymore. You know this. “
He can see the treads now welling in her eyes too and it makes his heart twist and constrict in many painful ways.
“And I left you alone during all of it. Missed the last 4 years of her life and the entire pregnancy. How am I gonna make up for that, for leaving you alone?”
It feels like once he’s started talking he can’t stop. All his fears and worries flow from his lips like tidal waves in an ocean. Crashing against the shore of truth.
“You didn’t leave us Bucky. You were taken from us. We never blamed you for that. I know you wanted to be there. I never doubted that for a second. Look, I had 9 months to come to terms with my fears, you didn’t have any time to face them. I get why you are freaking out but uh — it’s time to step up. You know what makes a good dad? Being there when he can be. Showing he cares. Can you do that?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I think I can.” Bucky promises and smiles a smile of content. One of hope. His fears and his guilt aren’t gone. But maybe if she believes in him and Steve does, maybe he can be the man and the father he needs to be.
“Good. We really do love you, Buck.”
“As in present tense?”
“Of course. We never stopped. Now can I ask one more thing of you?”
“What’s that?” In the end, it wouldn’t really matter. Whatever she asks he’ll do it. For her, he’ll do anything.
“Can you kiss me? I’ve been waiting for 5 years to finally kiss you again. I can’t hold out much longer. “
He grants her not one kiss, not two. In fact, he loses count as they get lost in many many loving kisses. Maybe, Bucky thinks, soulmates really are a thing. Maybe there are people on this earth meant to find each other. Meant to go through hardships together and still find their way back to one another in the end.
Whatever one chooses to believe in. Bucky is certain she is his person in this life and the next and through whatever might come their way.
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He’s sitting on the big red couch in (Y/N)’s apartment, nervously fumbling with the tassels on one of the throw pillows as his eyes wander around the room. There are so many pictures, hung on the walls and placed on side tables and shelves. His child’s entire life up to now, caught on film for him to relive if only in his mind.
There are pictures of him too. One of him and Steve in the 40s, laughing and leaning against each other in support. (Y/N) always said it was one of her favorites. “You’re so happy in it. That’s how happy I want you to be all the time.” She’s told him once.
Next to a picture of (Y/N) and their daughter is a picture of him. He’s sure it’s placed there deliberately. To remind everyone he is a part of this family, even when he wasn’t there.
He is here now though. The next picture put up will be one of all three of them.
The front door opens and a melody of voices echoes through the place. (Y/N)’s laughter and the sweet giggle of his little girl. It’s his favorite sound in the world, he decided then and there. Nothing will ever compare.
The girl rushes into the room then comes to an abrupt stop in front of him.
“Hi,” she says in the same small voice as she did at the Stark’s house. Only this time Bucky doesn’t just stand and stare at her, unable to move or speak.
This time he holds out his arms and speaks up.
“Hi, I — I'm sorry it has taken me so long. I don’t know what I was thinking. I love you, Darling. Can I hug you?”
She doesn’t say yes or no, doesn’t glance at his vibranium arm with hesitance of fear. She falls right into him, wrapping her little arms around his neck and cuddling into his chest. It feels like this is where she belongs, like this is where she was always meant to be. Like his arms were made to hold her and never let go. And maybe, Bucky thinks, maybe they were.
“I love you too, daddy.”
He liked being a sergeant. It’s a title that has always filled him with pride. It has nothing on the title of being a dad. That one means so much more. Fills him with a pride and love he’s never previously known.
For the next few moments, he gets lost in the feeling of holding his child. A perfect little girl who is part of him. The good. Only the good. It all comes together in her. No nightmares or guilt or fears. Only love. So much love. He holds her close to his heart, wishing he could’ve done this when she was just a baby. Feel her heart beat in rhythm with his. He places little kisses up and down her small face. On her chubby little cheeks and her cute bottom nose, making her scrunch it up and let out soft giggles.
It’s strange to be the man he is and act so gently with another human being. But it feels so right.
His eyes find (Y/N)’s across the room, filled with tears though this time they are happy ones. With an outreached hand he beckons her over and pulls her onto the couch and into the hug.
This is right. Nothing has ever felt this real. This happy. This perfect.
His girls cuddle into him with nothing but love filling their hearts. This is the life he wants, the one he has always wanted. The life he fought for. The life he will never stop fighting for.
Steve was wrong. They aren’t his second chance.
They’re his only chance.
His destiny.
His family.
His home.
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TAGLIST:  @stayherefor-evermore  - @booksb4looksstuff​ - @captainofallfandoms - @charmed-asylum​
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crybabytoy59 · 2 years
Text
I rang the door bell....
Master Daddy answered the door in you come cute your a wee bit early Daddy is just home from shopping so come here and kneel for me....
I was put in a kneeling position in the hall at a mirror Daddy removed my coat then my T shirt ...now naked on my top half h lifted some leather heavy padded cuffs...
“Handies behind you cutie”
My biceps had the cuffs put on tightly then he lifted gloves ..
“Cutie as your handies go in make a fist ok ?”.....Wess Daddy...
“Clever Baby Girlie Daddy likes manners!”....
He put a clip between my now useless hands then lifted a collar this had two leather triangles one at the front and one at the rear with buckles at each side, this was put over my head.
The leather triangles came to just above my nipples at the front but at the rear it went lower between my shoulder blades, it had a thick collar with little bells on it that were tinkering away as he worked on me..
The collar felt a bit tight as did the under arm buckles due to the angle of the front to rear parts, this made me have to arch slightly as Daddy tugged them tightly!...Daddy then lifted a black friction strap & spoke to me...
“Now headie All the way back !...Clever girlie for Daddy....am going to put dark lenses into your eyes these will only allow some shapes and shadows for you to see Don’t be afraid they will come out once Daddy has you prepared for what’s in store missy ! ..
He pulled my right eye open and everything went dark...then my left eye was done !
I could now only see him as a dark shadow ...
“Clever girlie almost done...Now Open Wide !....Daddy started brushing my teeth with very minty toothpaste this made me jump....
But he just giggled telling me to relax ...It felt nice to have him do this with the power brush ..
“Ok Swallow ....Clever Baby Open Wide ! Take a deep breath and hold it in....good baby..”
He pushed a ballon into my mouth it felt firm...over this he put a rubber oval pushed under my lips, then a soft kid leather pad.
I then heard him pulling on tape this was black Gaffa tape, I did start whimpering as he wound it very tightly sealing My mouth completely shut !
Daddy then pulled a rubber hood over my headie it only had nose holes and the eye area was open...
“Clever girlie look up at Daddy” he had something in his hand that he put to the mask there was a loud Pop ! And my mouth felt different ? The ballon was gone and I could feel material ?..
“Headie forwards baby ! Now this is Daddy’s lucky penny I went you to hold it against the wall for me Do Not drop it Crybaby ! (This was the first time Daddy had used my name ! )
As I pushed against the wall to hold the penny Daddy put his kneel at my wrist’s pushing upwards ! I gasped as he wrenched the friction strap to hold my arms up my back unnaturally !!! Next came ankle cuffs, these to had bells on them ! A short bar was put between them the Daddy pushed hard till my knees were tight to the wall as I gasped at his forcefulness over me…
“Clever girlie be good Daddy still has a couple of thing to prepare for your surprise cutie (He spanked me playfully) Are you scared Crybaby ?…
I muffled out..”Wess Daddy !”
“Clever Baby girlie Just as Daddy wants you to be princess ! As it will make it much easier for you to cry for us sweetpee!..We have quite the Day Ahead planned for you my wee “Pain Toy”....
He walked away to ready thing’s leaving me to run thoughts through my headie...
Why had Daddy called me a Pain Toy ?...
Why had he said We not him ?…
But I was having to try really hard to hold his penny to the wall due to my arms so far up my back as they started to hurt slightly, but I dare not move to try and relive the pressure…. But just when I thought it could get no worse I wet my nappy ! Gasping as I was so hard it rushed from me loudly!..
Then it happened I went to move my arms and the penny fell from the end of my rubber clad face !
As it clattered onto the floor I knew Daddy would not be pleased & I felt genuine sadness over Not doing the first submissive task masked by him….
Daddy stood smiling ear to ear as he listened to Sissy pant then hold his breathing as the souls of sissy pissing into the waiting Nappy ! Then the inevitable penny falling… He stood silent to let the situation work into sissy’s mind bound and in darkness deprivation would work its way to have sissy even more on the edge of fear…
Suddenly I heard foot steps … this was it no turning back now…
Daddy squatted behind me taking my nipples playing with them until I was a moaning wreck !…”Now Crybaby….. I see you have dropped my special penny yes?”
Wess Daddy sworry”…
“That’s a clever girlie Crybaby Daddy is pleased that you are sorry, but you are very naughty as Daddy told you to hold his special penny yes ?
”Wess Daddy”
“Clever Baby girlie so now Daddy must punish your disobedience missy ! So first things first… Crybaby you will have No “safe word” due to your disobedience… secondly Crybaby will have No limit’s other than permanent harm….Now Daddy wants you to stay silent for a minute then you will say loudly so I can hear you ! Wess Daddy Crybaby Will have No safeword or limit’s Daddy !…time starts Now !”
Daddy suddenly started spanking me !
not hard just firm… I was twitching in my wet Nappy and whimpering…
The Spanking stopped….
As I gasped out loudly..
WESS DADDY Crybaby Will Have No Safeword Or Limit’s !!”
There was silence for a moment then Daddy spanked me once Full Force as I yelped the bells rang ! 
“Clever Baby girlie it’s punishment time How dare you drop my special penny !
How is Daddy to use it now Eh!?
Yes crybaby You Will be sorry ! 
Very sorry indeed when we’re done today this disobedience will be a thing of the past Princess !!!”
Daddy hauled me by the friction strap backwards till I hung upside Down as he dragged me down the hallway..
My bell’s at my ankles ringing with each short movement of my leggies as I tried my very best to keep up with his fast pace!!
“Yes Crybaby tinkle for Daddy as your going to be doing lot and lots of tinkling for us princess…And not just your cute wee bells missy !”
I was pulled into a room it felt quite warm ..
Suddenly my tummy hit something and Daddy let me go as I fell over a bar?
Daddy was still smiling looking down at sissy bent over the frame as he pulled the two steel cords from the overhead winch putting one to the rear D-ring on the chest harness then the other to the collar…
He pressed the remote and Sissy’s upper half rose up…stopping briefly Daddy put a wide belt over sissy’s lower back then unfastened the wee bar pulling an ankle cuff in turn to a ring on the base of the frame! As he did Sissy whimpered at how wide “her” leggies had been spread apart ! 
He was already getting turned on by the sounds that he loved so very much a Sissy submissive going into head space !
Next he pressed the remote! 
Suddenly Crybaby yelped “Go’Go..Go’go !”
Daddy lent over and spanked sissy’s bare thigh !
“Hush hush now Crybaby say Goo’goo all you want your a naughty baby!”
The winch stopped with his new sissy panting heavily…..
I felt like I couldn’t get air into my lungs due to the bondage arch… panic set in as I started hyperventilating… Faddy appeared at my face a black blurry outline of him through the lenses..
“Slow your breathing princess…(he again was playing with my nipples this did let me relax due to me being Very submissive with nipple play)…Clever Baby much better..Now let’s get on Crybaby!”
Daddy lifted a rope putting it to the collar line at the eyelet a foot up the cable then fed it around my arms back to the Center pulling it tightly this made my arms raise up and closer together ! This he did over and over till my arms wet an immobilised Web !!
Then lifting a second rope this again was put to the eyelet… this time under my nose he tied a knot putting it to my mouth, then wound it behind my head to the arm webbing! Back around to the front he agai tied a knot at my forehead then wound back to the webbing…
“Ok missy headie back as far as you can !”
Daddy pulled the rope face harness tightly till my headie simply would not move I started whimpering as this new position made it even harder to breathe!…
But Daddy just ignored my plight and pleading from the gagging !
As he got a steel nose hook putting it up my nostrils! He tied it to the forehead rope pulling my nose upwards!
“Now let’s start you crying for Daddy....But first lets get your contacts out Princess !”
He removed the contacts & now I could see clearly....
He had a green bottle in his hand he absolutely loved this part as sissy would struggle even as bound up as she was ! 
Dipping a cotton bud into the green mustard he put it up each nostril…
The effect was instant the bells All started ringing as Sissy trying to avoid what was happening with tears now streaming from her… screamed into the gagging !!!
Daddy approached me with a jar of green stuff taking a cotton bud he pushed it into the green stuff ? 
Without warning he put it at my nose hook ...standing back to smile as I took my first breath !
It was terrible my nose stung like nothing I had ever felt before my eyes started not only watering violently but I burst out Crying this made it worse as they ran more !..
Just then a female walked in ....
“Hello Darling are you having fun with baby girlie”.....
( She kissed him as he laughed )..
“Crybaby Princess ...Say Hello to Mummy Cutie ...Your in so much trouble now Crybaby Pain Toy !....”
Mummy had picked up a small rubber funnel with a wee shoot ?..This she put to my hood pulling the rubber open to fit the shoot into my mouth over the wet pad in my mouth....she knelt down to talk to me ..
 “Hello Crybaby Mummy is so glad to finally meet you cutie....Now I can see from your eyes & your Nappy that the drugs are working ..let Mummy explain ...In your cute mouth is a slow realise gel in the pad this is going to make you want to both wet and mess in around an hour so we have to hurry...also the gel has a stimulant that will keep you hard for hours and hours ! So as we torture you Princess your mind will become very confused and eventually collapse but Mummy and Daddy will be right here to catch you baby girlie !!!,. Now let’s get started...”
She kissed my forehead ...
“You cry All you want baby....Mammy help you shed each and every special emotional Tear Pain Toy !”
Daddy has a cane as Mummy stepped to the side he tapped my. Chest over my nipples !....”Deep Breath Crybaby !!”
Thwack !!!! As Daddy whipped my chest with cane strokes...Tears and snot now running freely from me went into my mouth via the rubber nose scoop !!,..
I could taste the salty mix ! 
But Mummy lifted along leather boot with a steel bar at its front ! Pushing it up my foot she unfastened my ankle cuff removing it to push the boot hame violently ! My foot was almost in lone with my shin such was the force of the boot ! But she started lacing it up ! I squealed in shear terror at what she was doing to me ! Fastening my leg again she got the other boot worked on to my feeties ! ...
Pulling that one out Wide and tight ...next she picked up a syringe to inject my arch with...the burning sensation was instant...
I thrashed wild in my bonds only to slump gasping for air as the mustard did its evil work !
They both simply laughed as I surrendered to my fate ...
Mummy got a corset from a cabinet it was pink but had built in shorts that also laced up each thigh to the small of the back ! 
Daddy stopped whipping me to help her wrench it tightly on me ...once on I felt I was getting very little air !
I was now howling openly with genuine fear this pair were Wicked Dominants and I was there Toy !!
Mummy took a small clear mask sealing it to my face she smiled down at me...
“Now missy Daddy tells me our baby girlie dropped his penny yes ?..Clever girlie well that was very naughty so you are going to let Daddy have it back Princess !”
Daddy came up to my face with his member out !
“Yes Crybaby am going to spend my Penny you be a Clever girlie for us as the wee mask won’t  hold much till it’s  at your nose so best be Obedient and listen to Mummy Princess. !!”
He put it to the hole and I felt hot fluid on my forehead ! As the clear mask steamed up with Mummy at my cheek...
She kissed me...”Ok Princess start swallowing nice and steady...That’s the way ..Clever girlie yes I know it’s hard bound up this way but Crybaby this is a punishment !
Which Baby girlie it’s about to get worse as Daddy is going to push now so Big Fast gulps or You will be in trouble missy !”
They both laughed as Daddy sprayed my face with his “Amber nectar as they called it !”..I was gulping it down genuinely scared of drowning in it ! As it was at my nose !
Spluttering his pee over my face as I did....My wadding  now pee soakedmaking it hard to swallow as I had to bite down every now and again to empty it to swallow from the mask this shut my air due to the pee...so I had to swallow fast...Then it ended..
They both clapped as I gurgled the last down...
“Clever Crybaby very well done Your a natural  toilet girlie !!!”
Mummy stood up to her full height as Daddy approached with a syringe ?
He spoke “Now missy keep Daddy’s gift down Princess Pain Toy !”
With that he pushed the syringe into the mask ! It was still hot !!!
The smell had me wrench but knowing the outcome I fought the urge to throw up !
Strangely the smell suddenly felt comforting for two reasons firstly it was covering the horrible Mustard ! Second Mummy this time was playing with my Nipples with her sex over the mask hole her skirt draped over my headie I was now In darkness whimpering and moaning this was very evidently turning her on as she slowly was pushing my mask and headie with her sex !…
I could hear Daddy doing something but due to my current plight could not see what that was…..
I felt pressure on the arch of my foot more and more as my foot began to arch unnaturally  ! My other foot followed the same force of pressure… 
I could tell this would not take long to hurt… when I squealed at something hot being poured over my feet followed by them being bound tightly by something! 
Mummy was still bouncing off the mask..”Clever Baby girlie Daddy is making you the cutest wee “Thing”…. Our baby’s not going to be walking for quite some time potty Toy!”
They were both laughing now… 
But Daddy was far from done after putting on the hard rubber rib with the toe rings he had fastened the ankle rubber this pushed the foot Flat with the shin unnaturally ! Also it spread the toes wide apart with the wedges at its base...Daddy had then spread hot wax over the foot followed by a vetwrap bandage very tightly...
He was now binding the calf with kid leather from the bucket of very hot water the gloves offered some protection but even with them Daddy could feel the Heat ! 
Daddy smiled to Mummy as Crybaby squealed at the shock of the heat..
He kissed Mummy as she worked there new “Baby Drone”....
Next he took the wire putting it to the hole in the shin rubber he wound it up the calf ! 
Lifting the knee splint he fed the wire through it then put the two half’s together, threading the wire into the spiral he pulled hard until the two half’s met !
Then began winding back down the calf in the other direction causing a wire crisscross down the leg ! The other leg got the same treatment as Mummy lifted the wee spout..
“Crybaby Princess Mummy has to Spend her penny am afraid cutie....!”
The squeals fell silent as the swallowing sound came from “Baby Drone !”...
Clever girlie Are you doing poopies ! ...
They both laughed again....
My lower legs were now completely immobile and in a vice like grip !
Daddy was letting Mummy finish her penny spend..then as she got up off Me he pulled me up onto my knees to clicking  ! 
My knees were now at 90deg locked in position ! I would now only be able to Crawl !
But they were far from done as Mummy approached with a body harness !….
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lostinthewiind · 3 years
Text
Piss Off Your Parents - Part 3
Ukai Keishin - Haikyuu
Synopsis: freshly turned 18, you want to prove to your parents that you aren’t a child for them to push around anymore. First, get a job at the local corner store. Second, use the store owner’s 26-year-old son with piercings and a cigarette addiction to piss your parents off. Third, accidentally fall in love.
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Song → 18 by Anarbor
Previous →Part 2
Next →Part 4
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Never before had you dreaded something more than you dreaded arriving for work the morning following your incident with Keishin. More than anything, you hoped he was thoroughly pissed at you and had left for work early that day so that the two of you wouldn’t have to see each other, but much to your displeasure and horror, when you stepped into the store that morning, he was sitting at the front counter, waiting for you.
How was he not pissed at you after what you had said to him? 
When the sound of the front doors sliding open filled the otherwise silent building, leaving the keys in your hand useless as Keishin had already unlocked the store, you gripped the keys tightly and swallowed hard when he looked up at you. He didn’t say anything at first, maybe because he was waiting to see if you would make the first move, but after last night you were done making first moves when it came to him.
Averting his gaze and dropping your head low, you shoved the keys back into your pocket and headed for the back room to put your stuff away and get this day over with. 
Just as you were about to open the door to the back room, Keishin cleared his throat and you stopped in your tracks, head turning to look at him without thinking about it. 
“Good morning, Y/N.” This was the very first time he had greeted you first, and on top of that, the very first time he had ever used your name. 
You weren’t sure how to respond, confusion and excitement mixing in your body to create an overwhelming concoction. “Good morning,” you mumbled in response before disappearing into the back before he could do anything else out of the ordinary, like God forbid initiate a conversation or something.
You took your sweet time getting ready, delaying heading out to the front of the store as long as possible to give Keishin ample time to leave. After about fifteen minutes or so, you emerged only to find him sitting right where he had been before, newspaper sprawled on the counter and a cup of coffee in his hand.
“Shouldn’t you have left by now?” The questioned slipped past your lips before you even had the chance to filter it through your head.
Eyes wide, Keishin was surprised that you had spoken to him almost as much as you were. “We’re expecting a big delivery today, so I’m sticking around,” he answered. “You’ve never handled one by yourself so my mom asked me to show you how it’s done.”
Your heart sank, your stomach twisted, your knees felt weak. So he was going to be here with you all day long? “Perfect,” you groaned, not even bothering to hide the sarcasm in your tone. “That’s just awesome. Great.”
“Listen, it’s not my idea of an ideal day either, but it is what it is,” he said. “So why don’t we just put last night behind us, chalk it up to exhaustion and the influence of alcohol on my part, and move forward?”
You quirked an eyebrow at him, the fact that you couldn’t seem to figure him out thoroughly starting to irritate you. “How are you not angry at me?” you questioned him. “I was . . . horrible last night.”
You had spent the entire night after getting home thinking about the horrendous way you had behaved. The things you had done and said made you feel awful and you couldn’t understand how Keishin wasn’t on the brink of smacking the shit out of you right now.
“It’s fine.” He flashed a smile, trying his best to prove that he wasn’t dwelling on the past. “I’m a big boy. I can take it.”
Looking around to double check that the two of you were the only ones in the store, you lowered your voice before speaking. “But I put my hands on you. You can really just forget that?” Heat swelled in your cheeks as you recalled the less horrible events that had taken place.
“I touched you too,” he reminded you.
“Yeah, but yours was an accident.” You weren’t sure why you were saying all of this stuff; it was almost like you wanted him to be angry at you. Who knows, maybe you did. “I called you a burnout.”
Keishin let out a booming laugh at that. “Take a good long look at me, kid.” He smirked, gesturing to himself. “You really think I’ve never been called worse?”
“I don’t think that’s the point,” you breathed out.
Keishin opened his mouth to speak, but before he let a word out, he changed his mind and pressed his lips together. In the meantime, he watched you, the cogs in his head obviously working hard. “You’re an odd one, you know that?” He stood up, walked over to you, and set a hand on your shoulder. “I said it’s fine, so just forget about it, okay?”
“Okay.” You nodded, finally giving in. 
“Good. Now, get to work, because this place isn’t going to run itself and I’m only here to help with the delivery, so until then, I’ll be napping on the couch in the back. Wake me up when the truck gets here.”
Before you had a chance to respond, Keishin gave you a pat on the head and disappeared into the back room without another word.
You stood in place for a moment, unsure if the fact that he had forgiven you so easily was a relief or not. You didn’t allow yourself to worry too long about that though, because, like Keishin had said, you had work to do and the store wasn’t going to run itself. And, if your memory served you correctly, you had some sweeping to do in the back corner.
For about two hours, you fell back into your normal workday routine, completely forgetting about the events of the previous night or the fact that Keishin was napping in the back. That was, until you saw the delivery truck pull up in front of the store and remembered you had been given the task of waking the sleeping man. 
Heading into the back, you moved slowly and quietly even though it didn’t matter if you woke Keishin since that was what you were supposed to do anyway. 
“Keishin,” you spoke softly, not wanting to startle him. “The delivery truck is here.”
Of course, he didn’t even budge at that. Nervously, you stepped closer to the couch, unable to ignore the fact that Keishin looked completely different when he was asleep. The usual frown or cocky grin he sported was nowhere to be seen and he didn’t seem as intimidating when his eyes were closed and his breathing was so slow and rhythmic. 
“Keishin.” You reached out and placed your hand on his shoulder like he had done to you earlier and shook him slightly. Still nothing. Rolling your eyes, you were unsure what to try next aside from shouting right in his face. If only he had warned you he was a heavy sleeper. 
Deciding to try one last thing before you resorting to screeching, you leaned closer to his ear, planted your hand on his chest—a brief memory of how you had touched him last night flashing in your mind—and shook him once more while you spoke. “Keishin, the delivery truck is here,” you said, not whispering but also not being too loud.
Thankfully, the mixture of shaking him and speaking directly into his ear seemed to finally do the trick and his eyes shot open. Immediately, you jumped back, not wanting him to be weirded out by how close you were to him. 
Eyes travelling up to meet yours, Keishin yawned and stretched his arms over his head. “Truck’s here?” he clarified.
“Yeah, it just arrived,” you told him, waiting for him to get up. “You should have told me you were a heavy sleeper. I was about to scream or pour water over you or something.”
Keishin cringed at the thought of that. “Well, thank goodness you didn’t. Next time, just pinch my nose or tickle me or something . . . anything but water.”
“Next time?” you asked. “You plan on taking naps on the couch often?”
“It’s my favourite place to nap. You should try it sometime,” he said before heading for the door. “Come on, let’s get this delivery over with. Try to learn fast so I don’t have to teach you again.”
“I’ll try my best.”
As you had pretty much expected, the delivery had been pretty straight forward. After helping the delivery man unload all of the boxes into the storage room and signing off on the delivery, the most time-consuming and complex part of the process was taking an inventory of the new supplies, which you picked up on pretty quickly. 
Keishin showed you how to mark down the new delivery on the clipboard kept in the storage room and where to input the total count for each item. From there, all you had to do was make sure you had received everything and had the correct number ordered. 
“Pretty easy, right?” He glanced at you out the corner of his eye as the two of you worked together at counting the inventory, keeping an ear open for customers in the process.
“Yeah, it doesn’t seem hard. Just time consuming,” you agreed. 
“Exactly. We usually get a big delivery like this about once a month, then smaller deliveries throughout the week for more perishable items, as you already know.”
You nodded, quickly becoming lost in the repetitive task of counting and writing down the amount on the clipboard. Weirdly enough, you found that you didn’t actually hate taking inventory; the simple task was actually kind of calming and passed the time effortlessly. 
“50,” you muttered under your breath, jotting down the number in the correct box right after you finished counting. When you turned back to start on the next box, you caught Keishin looking in your direction. “What?” You furrowed your brows at him. “Am I doing something wrong?”
“No, no.” He shook his head. “I was just thinking.”
“About?”
“You,” he responded, quickly elaborating when you shot him a confused look. “Well, more specifically, why you took this job.”
You shrugged as you continued working. “I already told you. I need the money.”
“Right, so you can move out on your own. But why?”
Your hands stopped grabbing items and your mind stopped counting, making you lose track. “Because I’ve been waiting for as long as I can remember to live my own life and now that I have the opportunity, I’m not going to pass it up.”
“But wouldn’t you much rather be going to school? Surely you don’t want to work in a place like this for the rest of your life.”
You sighed heavily. “You ask a lot of questions, you know that?”
“I’m just curious,” Keishin said. “I want to understand you better.”
“I don’t think you could truly understand unless you experienced the childhood that I did.”
Stopping his work as well, Keishin leaned against the shelf and crossed his arms over his chest. “Try me.”
Rolling your eyes, you accepted the fact that he wasn’t going to give up. “First thing’s first, I’m not saying my childhood was tragic or anything. My parents didn’t beat me. They fed me and clothed me and everything a parent should.” You started, waiting for him to nod before continuing. “I was just never allowed to live my own life or make my own decisions. I ate what my parents wanted me to eat, I wore what they wanted me to wear. I took the classes they wanted me to, I was friends with who they thought would make a good friend. They went overboard on trying to get me to do what they thought was best for me. I was never old enough or mature enough to know what I really wanted. I lived in a controlling dictatorship.”
“What about soccer?” Keishin asked, proving that he had actually remembered the conversation the two of you had had on your first day at the store. “You told me you used to play.”
You smiled fondly at the thought of your high school soccer team. “That was the only thing I ever got to pick for myself . . . and it took months of convincing, and in the end, I was only allowed to continue because I was good at it. The fact that I genuinely enjoyed it never came into account for my parents.” Your smiled faded slightly. “Sometimes they even managed to drain the fun from that as well, but I refused to let them ruin it for me because it was the only thing I had that was mine.”
“Do you miss it?”
“Every day . . . but this is more important right now.”
Keishin was silent for a few moments while he processed everything you had said. “Sounds like everything needed to have a purpose.”
“Pretty much. If something had no chance of providing success in the future, it was a waste of time.”
“So the plan is to work so you can afford your own place, then go to school next year? How are you going to afford school?”
“Well, if I had followed my parents plan for me and started working toward a law degree, they would have paid for it. But since I’ve decided to do my own thing now, I’m just lucky they haven’t kicked me out of the house yet . . . so I guess I’ll have to get a scholarship or apply for student loans. I’ll basically be scraping by, so I’ve applied for a bunch of community colleges and I’ll go from there I guess.”
Fishing a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, Keishin lit one before sticking it between his lips. “What do you want to do?”
You laughed slightly at that. “I have no idea. I was never allowed to have hobbies or interests, so I don’t even know what I like. I just know what I don’t like. If I could do anything though, I’d apply for the University of Tokyo. They have a great soccer program. I just want to play soccer again.”
Keishin smiled. “Just soccer?”
“For now, yeah. I’ve learned that I’ll have to take life step by step, so that’s the first major goal. I’ll probably take some first year classes and see what I like and go from there. I think it’s okay to not have a set-in-stone plan sometimes . . . after all, this is the first time in my life I’ve never had my future planned out for me. It’s kind of exciting . . . scary, too, but exciting.”
Keishin sighed contently as he watched your eyes light up when you talked about the things you wanted to do in the future. “Can I ask you something?”
You nodded. “Sure.”
“So what was the point of what happened last night?” he inquired. “And, while we’re at it, the past few weeks as well. How do I fit into this grand plan of yours?”
You felt your heart pound against your chest. “I thought we were forgetting about last night?”
“We are,” he assured you. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. I’m just curious, is all.”
You thought for a moment, unsure how to phrase exactly how you were feeling. At first, you were inclined to take him up on his offer to not answer, but after how nice he had been to you today, you felt you owed him at least that. 
“Originally, I was in a pretty messed-up head space and I wanted to use you to get back at my parents,” you told him truthfully, “. . . but after last night, I did some serious thinking and realized that wasn’t the case. What I really want is to prove to my parents that not everything that is different or ‘not according to plan’ is bad. You have an  . . . alternative look about you,” you tried to phrase that as respectfully as possible, causing Keishin to chuckle, “but you’re not a bad person or, despite my harsh words last night, a burnout. You coach volleyball for high school kids and you help out at your family’s store and even though I’ve been pretty horrible to you, you’ve been nothing but nice to me.”
You paused, unsure if you should say the last part or not. “I don’t know, I just think that maybe if they met you, they might realize that I’m capable of making good choices for myself even if it doesn’t fit their predetermined mold of my life.”
“You think I’m a good choice?” he asked, taken aback by your honesty.
“Yeah.” You eyed him while he took a drag from his cigarette and let the smoke spill from his lips. “Maybe not the nicotine addiction part, but hey, no one’s perfect.”
Keishin chuckled before putting his smoke out. “Okay, I’ve got a deal for you.”
You cocked a brow at him. “What?”
“If I pretend to be your boyfriend and help you fix things with your parents, you have to apply to the University of Tokyo and follow your dream of playing soccer.”
You were thoroughly perplexed. “Both conditions of that deal only really benefit me. What do you get out of it?”
He just shrugged. “Nothing.”
You scoffed. “Well, as generous and sketchy as that sounds, there is no way I would be able to afford the University of Tokyo on my own and I don’t think any amount of ass-kissing could make my parents agree to pay for me to go there to play soccer and figure life out.”
“Hey, one step at a time, right?” He used your own words against you. 
You contemplated his offer for a moment. “You’re really okay with that? Even though you get nothing but more work out of it?”
“I suggested it, didn’t I?”
You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face. “You’d really pretend to be my boyfriend? Even though I’m just some rebellious kid?”
“Your opinion of me changed,” he pointed out. “Why can’t my opinion of you change too?”
“Fair enough,” you conceded. “Well, if you’re absolutely positive you won’t regret it when you wake up tomorrow morning, I’ll happily accept your deal. Thank you.”
Keishin turned back to the stack of boxes and promptly returned to the task at hand. “You’re welcome.”
You watched him work and quietly hum to himself while he did so. This time, it was his turn to catch you staring. “What?” he looked over at you.
“I just didn’t peg you for such a softy is all,” you joked. 
“Yeah, yeah,” he scoffed at you. “Just don’t fall in love with me or anything, kid.”
You smirked. “Whatever you say, old man.”
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todomochi-uwu · 4 years
Text
Of Unspoken Troubles & Loving You (3/3)
Pairing: Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader
Warnings: Angst
Author’s Notes: Done.
"Don't worry, Toshi. We'll be okay."
Previous parts: First Second Second&Half
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Tension filled the entire gymnasium, you could feel it, the players could feel it, the rest of teams could feel it, everyone was gathering around the court, watching as each of the teams gave out their best to try and beat the other.
Anxiety ran through your veins, your shoulders were tense and the need to vomit was becoming more prominent each second it passed, you knew damn well you might have caused all this stupid rivalry, and while an outsider might see it as an over-exaggeration, the thought of someone getting hurt was throwing you over the edge. You could see the face of each and every single one of the boys, you could see the desperation, the nerves, the tiredness; and you couldn't help but pity them, there was nothing left to say, there was no way to convince them, it just simply would be stupid to do it.
The ball flew by leaving each court, points were given and groans let out, sweat covered their entire faces and their breathing so heavy it could be heard across the room; it was already the third set and none of the teams had asked for a time out, no one was giving up. It wasn´t until the mandatory rest at the half of the set that you could finally approach the boys.
"Hey boys, please take it easy. I don't want anyone getting hurt, okay? Please remember this is only a practice match, nothing to lose here." You try and calm them up, passing out water bottles, just as you were making sure everyone was okay, the rigidness of a chest crossed your way.
You looked up and couldn´t help but get flustered at the sight, Ushijima's breathing was heavy and sweat drops ran down his face, he sported the same stoic face as always but the look in his eyes was trying to tell you something, he longed for something and you knew what it was, wondering if you should give in and just comfort him, but once again the words 'Manager, not captain' filled your thoughts, and suddenly the urge washed away. "You are giving your best Ushijima san, but remember not to overwork it, Washijou wouldn´t like for you to pull a muscle." Patting his shoulder, you made your way to the rest of the team.
You were helping Tendou bandage his fingers, which were now red and bloated from all the blocking he had done, every time you would pass the bandages around them he would let out a small hiss, "You know, he didn't mean to be an asshole, he´s sorry for what he did." Tendou mumbled, making you frown "I see, so that´s why you are here apologizing for him." Tendou tried again, "Y/N…" "No, Tendou. I'm more than tired." You got up, finishing the last touches and going next to make sure Goshiki was okay.
-
The rest of the match was even worse, Kenma could barely breath and the look that covered Kuroo's face was one of pure frustration, the board wasn´t looking good for his team, 24-19, and while they had managed to win a set, he didn't think they could get away with the victory.
And while they tried their very best, in the end, it wasn't enough.
Everything was over, and while everyone seemed satisfied enough that the match was over, Kuroo couldn't help as if he had to prove himself to you. Feeling ashamed that even at this moments, Ushijima had managed to surpass him.
"Good job, guys!" You came running with towels and a box full of energy drinks, making sure everyone had one, even Nekoma. After reassuring all of them were okay, you spotted a very tired man sitting by the benches, head low, covered by a white towel and gasping for air still. Kuroo.
You approached him slowly, not wanting to startle him, "Hi." Your voice was small, not knowing how he would react.
He raised his head, the look in his eyes said everything, "Hey."
Few minutes passed by, no one knew what to say next.
"I knew that maybe we didn't stand a chance, but this is a new kind of humiliation." He giggled humourlessly.
"Kuroo…" You tried, before he continued, "I'm not mad at you, it would be stupid to be. I just can't believe that asshole has absolutely everything right in front of his fucking nose and yet he doesn't seem to care." He shook his head, desperation filling his veins, clouding his vision. "Fuck this." He got up and the process he kicked the bench next to him, making his way down the gym.
"Kuroo?" You followed him, worried for what he might do.
His pace didn't stop or faltered, his eyes screamed in fury and his body language indicated only one thing if Ushijima wasn't going to realize by himself how lucky he was, maybe he would have to give him a clue.
Meanwhile, you kept trying to stop him, reason with his logic and the thoughts that fogged his mind, but nothing worked, he was determined to do something.
"Ushijima!" The raw voice filled the hallway, making the miracle boy turn around. His features hardened at the sight of you behind Kuroo; he didn't say anything but didn't back down. "You are a fucking jerk, are you aware of that?"
Nothing you could say or do would change the current situation.
"You. You fucking idiot." His finger pointed directly, coming closer every second. "You have absolutely everything I have been killing myself for, you are monster in volleyball, we get it, but you also got her?" This time the attention was directed at you, making you uncomfortable, "And yet you dare ignore her and treat her like a piece of shit. Who the fuck do you think you are?" He couldn't hold back anymore, pushing his hands against Ushijima's chest, he kept going, not worrying about the consequences, "You don't deserve it, you don't deserve the love she's giving you." The final straw, "And for that, I'll make sure you don't get any more of it."
Snap.
Everything seemed so blurry, one moment to another Ushijima was on top of the middle blocker, punches flying everywhere, curses and threats were thrown and terror swallowed your heart.
Tendou and Reon trying to hold back Ushijima while Bokuto and Lev tried to do the same for Kuroo, it had finally blown up and you couldn't help but feel responsible.
Coaches surrounded the boys, dragging them apart and lecturing them in what just had happened; feeling completely useless you made your way outside, trying to clear your thoughts.
Was all of this necessary? Ushijima might be oblivious and blunt, but you loved him; he was also having a hard time and you knew it, yet decided to go on.
And what about Kuroo? Why did you have to get him involved in your mess? He was doing more than okay, yet you were selfish enough and dragged him.
If it was love, whatever you seemed to be in, why was it so difficult to feel happy? It surely shouldn't be like this, you should be able to communicate all your worries to Wakatoshi, it should not be this difficult, and to this, you worried. Was Ushijima the real problem here, or was there something more to it?
-
Making your way down to the nursery's office, know full well Ushijima and Kuroo would be there, not being quite ready to face them, not knowing what to say or how to act, you just knew you had to see them.
Sitting down on a bench next to the door was Kuroo, he was holding an ice pack to his right cheek and small bandages covered his lips along with some cream covering the small bruises in his nose. The sight of his face alone made your heart feel even heavier. "Hey, cry baby." He mumbled.
"Hey." You sat down, trying to find the right words. "You look like shit." God, why are you like this?
"Yeah? You should see what I did to him." He said lazily, "He doesn't punch as hard as I think he would, do you think he was holding back?" He smirked, before wincing out in pain.
"I am sorry."
He gave you frown, "Why?"
"I dragged you into all this mess, and now you are hurt. It was my mess to deal with and I involved you in it, for that I am sorry."
"You didn't do anything, I decided to be here and while I didn't expect it to turn out this way, I'm glad." He gave you a reassuring smile, cracking a little bit when the pain kicked in once again.
"You are a moron."
He giggled, "Yeah I might be, but I also know about who feels like an even bigger idiot." He sighed, "We had a little bit of a talk, and turns out he is aware of the problem; he owns it completely and is willing to try to make things better, but…"
He hesitated.
"I'm not sure about what you want."
You sighed, shaking your head "To be quite honest I don't know. I mean, I still love him, he's not a bad person and I'm sure he still loves me, but…"
"But…"
"But I'm not sure if it's the best thing to jump into it right away, maybe we should go back a few steps, you know?"
"I completely understand, and I know he will too. Just talk to him, he loves you enough to give you time and space, or to let you go if that's what you want."
Nodding, "I don't want him out of my life."
"And that won't happen but for now tell him how you feel, it'll be okay."
"Hey, Kuroo?"
"Yeah?"
"When we first met, you talked about going through the same situation, care enough to explain?"
"Fuck, I did talk about that huh? Well, let's just say I was taken for granted, treated like shit and I went through this spiral of lies and obsessive thoughts that emotionally destroyed me, that made me doubt myself, my friends and every single thing I believed in." He rubbed his hands, looking out the ground, "When I got out of it I felt so empty and dead on the inside I genuinely considered never dating again; it might sound like an overreaction, but I was so numb to the entire world I didn't think love was worth anything. And then, someone came in and made me realise that maybe, just maybe it wasn't my fault, it was my abuser's fault, that I wasn't at fault for giving my all to someone who just drained me, they helped me and now here we are." He looked into your eyes, "Sometimes I wonder if the trauma would have healed faster if they had appeared while I was still in that hell, instead of after. That´s why I felt the urge to help you, and while Ushijima is nowhere an asshole as my ex was, you were hurting and I hated seeing it."
"Kuroo…" Tears filled your eyes, threatening to fall.
"Oh common, please don't cry, I'm on the other side now and everything's okay."
"Do I know them?"
"Huh let's see, they are just as weird as you, but a little bit less annoying I guess." You groaned in annoyance, "I'm kidding, but yes you do know them."
"Aren't you going to tell me?" Before you could continue complaining the nursery's office door opened, and here he was, the giant, buffed, airheaded man you called your boyfriend.
Standing up you met his gaze, there was no coldness in it, no hate, no malice, just pure longing and regret, and your hurt couldn't help but clench. Taking his hand in between yours, you caressed it, making him shiver.
"Don't worry, Toshi. We'll be okay."
"So you want to break up?" He furrowed his eyebrows, his hands felt clammy and his breathier became a bit quicker.
"Not quite like that, I think we jump into a relationship way too quickly, we barely even knew each other and even if we have been in this for some months now, we are not working out as we should."
"I will try harder, I swear," He mumbled.
"And I know you will, I trust you to do it, but how about we make our priorities the things we love right now? Like you win those nationals and I focus on getting into university?"
"I didn't know having me impeded your education."
"It's not, but I want to know what's like to look out only for me, to know I'm not chasing anyone, just for a little while."
He nodded, didn't say a word for a few minutes, "I am sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel as if you were chasing me. I missed my chance and I understand it. Know that I still love you and will keep on doing it, and I respect your decision of letting things between us end." He vowed and turned around, not sure how to processed what just happened.
"Ushijima." "Yes?" Locking your arms around his waist, looking straight into his eyes and caressing the side of his face, "I am not letting you go, I can't. This is just for me to be able to heal, but I still love you Wakatoshi, please don't forget that."
His arms surrounded your waist, leaning his head against the crook of your neck and nodding, his body shaking slightly "Okay."
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may-fanfic · 4 years
Text
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Falling Hard 
Summary: Natasha took you in when you were very young and raised you as her own. You and Wanda become friends when she was recruited, after an argument you have with nat, Wanda is there to comfort you. 
Warning: mentions of drug addict parents, small argument, thats about it, correct me if i’m wrong tho 
Rating: idk its fluff 
word count: 2,311
((feel free to send in any request))
pt 2
masterlist
------ 
Wanda hadn't expected to find someone she could rely on or relate to anyone when she joined the Avengers. she assumed they were all gonna be older people who had no idea what they would talk to them about, she figured it would be awkward but at least, she had people on her side.
you strolled into the living room to greet the newcomers when Natasha called you. Wanda was quiet and closed off as Natasha made an awkward introduction to the twins as you kinda just stood there, the book that you had been reading tucked to your side as the group simply stared at their feet. "this is useless, mom can I go?" you asked gesturing to the stairs, the woman tucked hair behind your ear before nodding, smiling lightly at you. you often came off as harsh as Natasha even if you had been the sweetest person, at least that's what the redhead spy thought. you were a lot like her, strong, smug with a slight attitude.
"she's not good with new people." Tony explained causing Natasha to glare at the man. "don't you dare talk about my daughter." she pointed a finger before huffing and going away to make some coffee.
"that's where she gets it." Steve chuckled.
----
you had managed not to run into the new pair until one day you had been seated in the kitchen, perched upon the countertop as you swung your legs, all your attention glued to the book at hand until a gush of wind smacked you, blowing your pages causing you to gasp lightly and when you looked up, Pietro had been standing there and he swallowed hard at your cold glare and only seconds later Wanda jogged in, breathing hard as she whined about him cheating, quickly going quiet when her eyes landed on you. "no powers in the tower especially you, buddy!" you pointed a finger at the boy with whitish hair causing him to nod.
maybe you had been a little mean but Wanda didn't understand why she had been attracted to your mean girl attitude but she couldn't help the flutter in her chest whenever you were around her. you were a short, hot-headed girl and she couldn't help but be intrigued by you.
after some time the two of you finally had actual conversations that had been past your snarky remarks. she had been more than relieved to have a friend in you and Natasha were glad that you had been coming out of your shell. it wasn't that you were an introvert, you simply didn't get along with a lot of people.
---
"show me!" you giggled, rolling onto your stomach as the girl rested against your headboard, rolling her eyes playfully before twirling her fingers around, a red glowing light appeared between her fingers causing you to gasp. "whoa!" you admired, a soft giggle slipping from her lips as you stared at the red that moved in between her fingers.
"what else can you do?" you smiled, leaning your head in Wanda's lap, she tried her hardest to focus on anything else but the way her heart fluttered. she cleared her throat, moving one of your books from across the room into her hands quickly causing you to look at her, mouth agaped and she wore a smug smile before pulling a blanket over you with her powers and sweetly smiling.
"let me read to you." she offered, the main light to your room going off and instead the lamp beside your bed turned on and it was all too much for you to process so instead you just nodded and settled completely into her lap, your eyes fluttering shut, warmth and comfort washing over you as her heavy accent filled your ears.
---
Wanda watched as you mindlessly hit the punching bag even Steve struggled to keep the bag at bay as you punched it and you hadn't even used all your strength but you were strong... really strong. "good." your mother spoke uncrossing her arms and nodding at Steve to let go of the beaten bag.
"you're getting better at controlling your strength." Natasha pointed out, handing you a bottle of water and a small towel for your sweat. "you think?" you asked softly wiping at your forehead before grabbing a hold of your discarded t-shirt watching as she nodded with a smile. "when do you think I can start with missions?" you watched your mom's face turn sour and she ran a hand through her redhead. "let's not talk about that right now." she sighed, reaching out for you only for you to step back, a frown taking over your lips.
"you're too young, kid." Steve spoke up causing you to snap your hard glare at him. you were Wanda's age, there was no way that was the reason. "call me kid once more time." you stomped over to him until Natasha caught your wrist.
"that is exactly what I mean.. come on babes... I know what's best for you. after all, I am your mo-"
"you're not my mom." you spoke sharply, her lips parted and eyes watering up. "and you never will be." you turned away from her so quickly before stumbling over to the exit, the witch shooting up and following you.
"I'm not your mother?!" the woman followed closely behind you, anger filling her face. "I wasn't there when your drug-addicted parents were murdered?! I wasn't the one who took you to school every day?! I wasn't the one who was there for you every time you had a nightmare?! you had no idea what a mother was until you met me! so don't you dare ever talk to me that way again! you hear me?!" you bit the inside of your cheek, refusing to let any emotion show.
"I didn't ask for your help. you took me to fill the void of not being able to have children! you were just sad and lone-" you were abruptly cut off but the woman's voice.
"fine, you know what? you're right. I'm not your mom and I don't want to be. not anymore... I give up y/n. I do. I'm done trying to be there for you. I give up on you." she shrugged before turning and stumbling back into the training room, her soft but firm words cutting you like knives and if Wanda hadn't been there and softly grabbed a hold of your hand, you would've crumbled because it wasn't the first time those words were uttered to you.
"come on, возлюбленная (sweetheart)" she cooed, tugging you in the direction of your room, feeling your anger being washed away by sadness. as soon as you were in your room, you couldn't help the sob that slipped from your lips. your back crashed against the wall and slid down it before Wanda met you on the floor, her arms quickly wiping around you and whispering soothing words in your ear.
"Everyone gives up on me! everyone! I'll never have anyone!" you sobbed into the girl's chest causing her to bite her lip, shushing you lightly. "you have me. believe me, when I tell you, I'll never give up on you. I promise.. b-because i-" she paused for a moment, pulling your face from her chest, cupping your cheeks softly and wiping away the tears that poured from your eyes. "because I love you.." she confirmed causing your tearful eyes to go wide. "nothing with ever change that.." she added before a gasp slipped from her when your lips crashed against hers with a hard pressure before it quickly softened when you notice how hard it was and you had been too afraid to hurt her.
"that was a bit harsh, Romanoff." tony mumbled, glancing up at her when she reentered the training room, a hard look on her face. "what do you know?!" she snapped, slightly becoming choked up when she thought about the way your face fell when she uttered out her words coldly. she didn't mean it, she didn't mean any of it but you had hurt her. as a mothe- a caregiver she should've been able to handle it better. she loved you unconditionally and she hated herself for hurting you.
"I know what it feels like for a parent to give up on you, and it doesn't feel good," he spoke sincerely causing her to let out a breath, pinching the bridge of her nose to stop the pain in her head. she should've been the bigger person and threw away her pride when it came to you. her eyes started to water at the memory of you telling her you loved her for the first time when you were much younger or when you first called her mom for the first time and now she had been punching the punching bag hard to avoid her feelings, but then she couldn't shake the feeling that you had been upset and she felt so much hatred for herself at that moment.
Natasha knew you loved her and viewed her as a mother but your vision had been so clouded by anger that you simply couldn't control what you were saying but she could've. with one final punch, Natasha decided that it was her who should apologize. when she stumbled to your room and gently pushed open your door, you had been neatly tucked away in Wanda's embrace, your face nuzzled into her neck.
the both of you had been sound asleep and she didn't have the heart to wake you up from your seemingly comfortable state but then it dawned on her that you were never a cuddly type unless it was someone you really, really liked, and then she couldn't help the small smile and her teary eyes because she realized that her little girl had grown up and had been in love.
you had been incredibly exhausted in the morning. you couldn't believe how emotionally worn out you had become and it hadn't help that Wanda wasn’t with you in the morning instead you met her in the kitchen, a small grin on her face when she spotted you. "I wanted to make you breakfast," she explained shyly, her arm wrapping itself around your lower back and pulled you in for a hug.
"you're too sweet, Wanda." you sighed out conflicted on whether you should be happy because the girl you liked for a bit of time is finally yours or if you should feel upset that you no longer had that mother figure that Natasha provided you with. you planted a soft kiss on Wanda's lips before turning to make some coffee. you and Wanda had been up quite early, leaving the both of you in a comfortable quiet kitchen as you worked alongside each other to get breakfast ready.
you had gone most of your day without seeing Natasha until you and Wanda stumbled into the training room, Wanda bragging about how she could whoop your ass without even using her hands and you protested claiming you could rip her in half using your bare hands. the conversation was lighthearted and playful, you were both laughing and giggling about it until Natasha had come into your sight.
"We need to talk y/n." the older woman declared with a stern look on her face but in all reality, she had been happy that Wanda was making you smile despite the heavy argument you had with Natasha. you didn't have it in you to protest so instead you nodded and Wanda sent you a comforting smile before stumbling out the training room giving the both of you privacy. you let out a sigh, your gaze dropping before you glanced back up at the woman who raised you. "l-listen, mo- Natasha-" the woman stood her head, taking steps towards you and opening up her arms for a hug. "no, stop come here." you stepped into her embrace, sighing softly in relief.
"I would never and I mean, never give up on you. you know why?" you shook your head nuzzling into the woman. "because you're my daughter and you'll always be. I love you very much and I'm sorry that I ever allowed my anger to cloud my judgment. I'm your mom and I should've reacted to the situation better. it'll never happen again. okay?" you let out a half sob, half laugh causing her arms to tighten around you.
"I'm sorry too." she chuckled lightly, pressing a soft and comforting kiss to your temple. "it's just upset when no one trusts you when it comes to something that you've been working hard on, you know?" you explained causing Natasha to push you back slightly, cupping your cheeks and frowned. "you think I don't trust you when it comes to your strength? I do trust you, honey. it's just I want you to be emotionally prepared for what the mission entails, do you understand? plus you getting hurt because of something I allowed you to do would kill me." she uttered out causing you to nod understandably.
once all the heavy stuff had been out the way and apologizes had been accepted, Natasha couldn't help the smug smile that formed on her lips, she moved to hold the punching back for you as you punched at it, focusing on how hard you had been hitting it until Natasha uttered out. "I saw you and Wanda cuddling last night when I came to apologize. I've gotta admit you two are cute together. how long has that been going on?" she smirked when your cheeks flushed over and your eyes widened. the woman had been playfully wiggled her eyebrows at you as your punches stopped abruptly, your cheeks heating up even more.
"oh my god, please stop!"
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pregnant-piggy · 3 years
Text
The Crow’s Nest
The Crows x reader
words: 12.1k
warnings: underage drinking, fire, character death, guns
A/N: am I slowly indoctrinating you with my pirate obsession? perhaps... ;) this is based on a dream I had while reading the first book and it wouldn’t leave me until I had written it. Let me know what you think of it! <3
translations (part real languages, part fictional):
Teufel -- devil
Fortell meg -- tell me
Jer elsker pe -- I love you
Faen -- fuck, damn
Goede morgen -- good morning
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The grey waves hit against the hull of The Teufel, rocking the ship back and forth in the restless water. The howling wind creeped around every corner, finding even the warmest spots to cool the air and sparing no one from its breeze. The old sails fluttered in the force of the wind and loud slaps could be heard whenever the canvas hit against the mast. Little raindrops were falling from the sky, creating a layer of damp on everything in the open. 
Thunder sounded far away in the sky, back in the open sea, but The Teufel was going the other way. Kerch was approaching steadily and if the winds didn’t turn suddenly, the ship would reach land before the sun had fully set. 
The coastline of Ketterdam, the city The Teufel would arrive at, was peculiar with its high buildings and built-up streets. The lights of the city lit up the sky like an orange halo in the darkening heavens. 
You leaned with two arms on the railing of the ship, watching the city approach over the water. Behind you the strongest members of the crew were working on the sails, steering the schooner into the right direction. You listened to the shouts and orders with half an ear, imagining what the city of Ketterdam would be like and where you would go after the ship had moored. Unlike many of the older ones in the crew you had never been to Kerch before. In the last two years The Teufel hadn’t gotten close to the island, finding enough profit near the coasts of Novyi Zem. Three weeks ago, however, the captain had ordered to turn the sails and head South, much to your delight. 
Your entire life you had heard stories about Kerch. When you were very little, you had asked your grandmother over and over again to tell you about her trips to Ketterdam. Though you had been too young to understand most of what her stories meant, you had adored how your grandma was able to take you to a different world with her words only. It was a gift that you most admired and one that she had passed on to you. 
Your parents passed away in a futile attempt to protect the town against the brutality of the land’s council. You had been just seven years old and the surviving neighbours hadn’t known what to do with you, so you had been sent to a boarding school in the countryside. Far away from the danger of the city they’d said, but you had known it was just to get rid of you. You had grown up in a strict environment, in a house full of stern teachers and meek children. But even there you hadn’t forgotten about your grandmother’s stories. Although the students thought you were odd, they would all gather around you in the sleeping hall after midnight when the teachers were to bed and you would tell them a story the same way your grandma had told them to you. 
The older you had gotten the more trouble you’d seemed to cause. Obeying the rules had soon proven not to be something for you, at least not when you thought the rules were useless. With every year you’d grown older, you had found more ways to plant mischief. The punishments had gotten harder every time but you had refused to bend to their rules. Eventually they had been the one to give up and they had kicked you out of the school. At the age of fourteen you had been a homeless orphan only good for trouble. 
For weeks you had travelled on your own and you had ended up at the harbour, where you had stumbled upon The Teufel. At first the captain had refused to take you on; he had no use for a child. It had been your talent to speak Kerch, Ravkan and a little bit of Fjerdan that had gotten you on board the ship that would become your new home. 
For the past two years you had travelled along with the crew, learning to live on the ocean. Not a moment you had regretted your decision. The crew had accepted you as part of their family. The captain, Nerseh, had taken you on as his own daughter, learning you the tricks of maintaining a crew. Mayranoush, the quartermaster, was a strict woman who had at first scared you because she had seemed to be so much like your teachers at the boarding school. After a while you had gotten used to her, however, and it was from her that you had learnt how to shoot and how to read people’s faces like an open book. From the sailing master you learned how to read maps and the gunners had tried to teach you how to aim, but you had never mastered that skill. Stefan had taught you how to fight with a sword, Marina taught you the ropes and Hai learned you basic first aid and other cures that were necessary in combat. 
In two years you had learned enough to make yourself useful on the ship and you had grown from just their translator to a valuable member of the crew. The Teufel was your home and you could not think of a better place for you. 
“Are you excited?” Stefan stood next to you and followed your gaze to the skyline of Ketterdam. 
You tore your eyes from the city and looked at the big blond man with his bright blue eyes. When you first stepped on the ship he was the first one of the crew to approach you and you had been surprised by the Fjerdan’s conviviality. Your teachers had always taught you that the people from Fjerda were cold and distant. But ten minutes spent in Stefan’s company proved all of that wrong. He had guided you in your first weeks and now he was your best friend, and your first friend. 
“I am,” you nodded. “I’ve been dreaming about this place since I was a toddler. I can’t wait to see what it's like.” 
Stefan smiled at you and leaned down on the railing next to you, his arm against yours. A warm feeling washed over you and sparkles shot through your upper body. The wind had died down to a light breeze and your hair wavered behind your neck as the wind blew directly into your face. A scent of smoke, burned sugar and oil filled your nose and you closed your eyes, taking in the smell and registering the different scents. This was the essence that your grandmother had talked about and now you were experiencing it yourself. 
When you opened your eyes you noticed that Stefan was watching you intently. You smiled and raised one arm from the railing so you could turn to him. He wanted to say something to you, you could see it in his face. “What is it?” 
“Nothing,” he stammered, his pale cheeks blossoming red immediately. 
“Fortell meg, Fjerdan,” you ordered Stefan to tell you and, though you didn’t think it was possible, his cheeks got even redder. 
The big, blushing man looked away from you and cleared his throat. His gaze was pointed at his feet and then he turned it to the horizon. The wind was playing with the blond curls of his hair, that looked golden in the light of the setting sun. He cleared his throat again and then he mumbled something. 
“I can’t hear you, doofus,” you laughed and nudged your shoulder against Stefan’s arm. “A little louder, please.” 
Stefan sighed and turned his head to look at you. He took a deep breath and placed his hand on your upper arm. The feeling of his warm hand on your bare arm made your heart flutter. Your lips parted and you sucked in a little breath. 
“Jer elsker pe,” Stefan whispered. I love you. 
Your heart stopped. The pulse in your chest disappeared for a moment and when your heart beat again, it did twice as hard. Stefan was no Heartrender but you were sure he could hear your heartbeat too. 
“Stefan, I—” you started, taking Stefan’s other hand in yours. 
However before you could go on, Captain Nerseh appeared from his hut and started shouting over the main deck. “Stefan! I need you up front!” Nerseh said and he walked to the forecastle deck, ordering the rest of the crew on his way. Stefan was still standing in front of you, your hands holding his but his face turned to the captain. This one turned around. “Now, please!” 
The Fjerdan let go of you and hurried away, leaving you on your own. You held onto the railing for support as you felt your weight shift to your legs. All the excitement you had felt just mere minutes ago had now completely vanished and you looked around panicky. Not even a lifetime on sea could have prepared you for that. 
-=-=-
The Jolly Roger was changed for a neutral flag with the colours of Novyi Zem and The Teufel navigated into the Fifth Harbour of Ketterdam. Once the anchor had been lowered and the ship lay still, a small party was sent out to get stock while the others were free to go wherever they wanted. 
Stefan was sent with the quartermaster, Mayranoush, and Hai for food and ammunition and he was off the schooner before you could follow him. You watched him leave the Harbour, standing on the main deck. His blonde hair shone in the last rays of sunshine and he was visible for a long time, until his figure disappeared in the bigger crowd. Gone before you could talk to him. 
“I want y'all back at twelve bells,” Captain Nerseh said and he waved the rest of the crew off. 
Hesitantly you walked off The Teufel onto the docks. The first few steps were wobbly and uneven, as it had been a few weeks since you had last walked on land, but after shaking your feet and legs, you got used to walking again. Those familiar tingles, that you always got when walking on shore after so long on sea, shot through your legs and you were filled with a mix of anxiety and excitement. 
Here on land the scent was even stronger, luring you into the streets. You glanced back at The Teufel over your shoulder and shrugged off the uneasy feeling you got at the thought of leaving your home behind in the harbour. Pulling up your boots a little, you turned away and stepped into the city, finally experiencing what you had dreamed of for so long. 
The streets of Ketterdam were unlike any other place you had ever been. Big crowds of tourists and inhabitants were moving as one through the small streets of the Lid. Men, women and children all walked through each other, barely taking notice of the persons passing them. The lights coming through the shop windows casted yellow and white shapes on the cobblestoned ground, with which the shadows of the people danced. 
You followed the crowd into the buzzing parts of town, falling in step with the other tourists. Many years ago your grandmother had told you that the Lid was filled with gambling houses and it was the place where the most tourists stuck around. And indeed, as you walked on the crowd gradually got thinner with people leaving right and left to fall into the temptation of the colourful buildings decorated with bright lights. Faint music combined with the loud chatter of people in all languages hung in the salty air, like a blanket that was thrown over this part of the city. 
However, all that you could think of was Stefan’s face and his words. Jer elsker pe. In a haze you walked through the busy streets, hearing Stefan’s voice over and over in your head. His touch was imprinted on your skin, the place where his hand had been was burning hot on your arm. 
You had known, that was the worst part. For a few weeks you had known. You had sensed it whenever he was looking at you or when he was touching you. The look on his face was different from before. There had been a softness on the Fjerdan’s face that hadn’t been there before. A weakness. It was an undeliberate thought, but it made its way in your mind anyway. If the past ten years of your life had taught you one thing it was that you had to hide your weaknesses. From enemies and friends. 
It had been a particular hot night at the boarding school and you hadn’t been able to sleep. That day a new girl had arrived at the school and she’d sat down next to you at breakfast. Many of the others had scowled at her but she had ignored them and instead introduced herself as Lotty. It was the first time that someone had voluntarily come to you and the rest of the day you had spent getting Lotty familiar with the school and its surroundings. 
You’d heard the girl stirring next to you and padded over to her. Upon seeing your face, a smile had spread on Lotty’s face and you had whispered: “Want to get out of here?”
Very cautiously you and Lotty had left the sleeping hall and on your toes you had run through the empty corridors of the school building. All the teachers had been asleep already and the big clock in the hall had showed that it was two hours after midnight. 
The front door had opened with a small squeak and the dark night air had welcomed you and Lotty outside. The gardens of the boarding school surrounded the entire building with grass, flowers and low bushes. A sweet, humid scent had hung in the air, the result of the sun that had shone on the flowers all day. 
You and Lotty had sat down in the middle of a flower bed and you had told her about everything. For the first time in your life you’d felt like you had a friend and you had trusted her with some of the secrets you knew about the school’s building. For hours you two had sat outside, until the sun had started to rise and the petals of the flowers had started to collect the morning humidity. As you had gotten up, you’d put your hand on the ground to push yourself up and you felt something crawl under your palm. You had squealed and stumbled back quickly, staring in disgust at the place where you had put your hand. There on the ground a thick spider had quickly crawled away under the flowers. 
Lotty’d started to laugh and you had scolded her. Spiders had always scared you and no matter how much you’d tried to get over it, whenever you saw one you couldn’t help but shudder. 
Back at the sleeping hall you had fallen into a restless sleep for the last few hours, dreaming of a thousand legs and jaws. When you’d woken up, Lotty hadn’t been there and at breakfast she had sat with the other children, not with you. 
The next morning you had woken up with something crawling up your arm and the sound of laughter. 
And now Stefan had shown you his weakness. Though you would never use it against him like Lotty had done to you, there was something that bothered you now you knew his weakness. What if unintentionally you would cause him trouble or danger?
“Watch where you’re going!” a man sneered and he roughly pushed past you. 
You shook your head out of your thoughts and looked around. The bright gambling dens had been replaced by small, tall and crooked houses made by all different sorts of bricks and wooden beams for support. The streets were still busy but this was a different crowd. People with comical masks and cloaks moved in little groups, quickly and rushed, as if they were afraid someone would stop them. A few people wore gaudy suits and moved proudly over the streets, their hands in their pockets. The others wore more ragged clothes in dark colours and they walked with their heads down to the ground. 
You were in the Barrel, undoubtedly. The gambling houses were still there, but more scattered. Still they weren’t much different from the ones on the Lid; a lot of dramatic lightning and flashing colours, all so that the most people would come in. 
The East Stave was on your left. You had refused ever to step foot near the brothels on the West Stave. The horrid stories that your grandmother had told you had already been enough to keep you away and the rumours you had heard from the crew on The Teufel had only added to that. 
Your legs were getting tired from walking so much and the unnerving thoughts were still whirling through your head. On The Teufel you would have searched for Stefan and gotten drunk with him hidden somewhere on the deck, but Stefan wasn’t here and The Teufel was far back in the harbour. So instead you searched for the least ostentatious building and eventually settled on a gambling club called the Crow Club. 
A silver crow hung over the entrance of the club and you looked up to it as you walked under it, entering the building. You stepped into a big hall that was parted in two by a lowered floor in the back. The black lacquered walls had no windows and all sense of night and day was lost as soon as you stepped inside. The little clock around your neck told you it was little after ten bells. That meant that you had one hour and a half before you had to go back. 
You sat on one of the crimson stools at the bar and ordered a drink from the man behind it. He eyed you for a moment and you noticed he was contemplating whether to give someone your age a drink, but he seemed to decide that profit is profit and poured you a drink. You watched him while he worked for a moment. He was not as old as you had thought him to be. The only wrinkles in his face were near the corners of his mouth and the cracks next to his eyes. His skin was dark bronze and his hair pitch black, almost like the walls around him. And what he lacked in height he seemed to be making up in strength, as his arms were muscular and he looked strong enough to throw a man twice his size out of the place. 
The drink burned in your throat, but you threw it all in anyway. For a moment your gullet was on fire and the next moment it was gone. The years among a group of adult pirates had learned you how to take your drinks. 
You asked the bartender for another and you didn’t miss the surprise on his face, but turned the other way, looking at the parlor around you. Most of the tables in the lower part of the room were occupied by a variety of people. In the left corner of the room sat a couple, their feet entangled under the table, but their eyes fanatically looking at the other. 
At a table closer to you sat a woman in a bright red dress with feathers in her hair. From your place you could see the cards in her hand and if you stretched your neck a little you could also see the cards of her neighbour. The table was playing Ridderspel, a simple card game played with the lower numbers of the cards. It was a game to make little money quickly and one of the most played card games in gambling houses everywhere. 
The woman had two sevens, an eight and a four of the crow-marked cards in her hand and she pushed forward four little red chips when the dealer asked to place the bets. Her neighbour pushed forward two grey chips and the man opposite of her one grey and one red one. The dealer collected the chips and stacked them in the middle of the table. 
On The Teufel you had played many games of Ridderspel with the crew. However, after a while they had banned you from playing games for money. It hadn’t taken long for you to see connections between the faces of people and their cards. You could see a pattern in the order they played their cards and knew after showing the first card of the game who would win.
It had started with Ridderspel. One dark night under the light of a lantern you had been playing the game with Stefan and two others of the crew, Vinay and Cilka, when you had noticed that whenever Cilka got her cards the lightest frown would form on her face if she didn’t get good cards. It was invisible to anyone else, but you saw how her eyebrows would twitch shortly. You knew that everyone had their tells, some more obvious than others, but after that night you had searched the others’ signs. Vinay’s shoulders would slump a little if he had bad cards and Stefan’s eyes would flicker shortly over the table if his cards were good. 
After you had learned their signs, you’d noticed that there was a pattern in the way they played their cards. If they had bad cards, they played the highest first, hoping to at least get a little out of the game. If they had good cards, they would hold their highest cards for the end, but they wouldn’t play their lowest card first either. It was a complicated strategy, a difficult trick on your mind, but after months of examining the game, both playing and from afar, you found the pattern. From there on it wasn’t difficult to find the patterns in other games and soon you were banned from playing games on the entire ship. 
However, whenever you were on land and there was a gambling house in the city, the crew would often ask you if you could just play some games so they could get some money. You knew that with you playing at the table the game wasn’t fair anymore, but you would do it night after night if that meant you could do something for your crew. 
Now, you knew that the woman in red had a good chance of winning the game. She tapped her fingers on her thigh and kept staring at her cards. So much for a bluffing face. The dealer asked to play the first card and the woman threw one of her sevens on the table. Not the highest and not the lowest. Her neighbours answered by throwing an eight and a five. 
The next round was played and now the woman played her four, receiving another eight and a seven. She is playing out her opponents. If they wanted to win, they would have to change the course, but you feared it was already too late for them. The woman threw her eight on the table and the others a seven and a five. The last card was played and at her seven, the woman got a six and a four. 
As the dealer started to count the points you turned away; you didn’t need to count the points to know that the woman in the red dress had won the game. 
“Another one, please,” you said to the barman in Kerch and he nodded at you. Curiosity could be read off his face even by those who didn’t have your talent of understanding facial expressions. 
When he gave you your glass his eyes lingered on your clothes and you realised how idiotic you must look in this environment. Though the people in the hall weren’t all wearing evening dresses or three-piece suits, you knew that someone in a black jacket and leather boots to their knees would stand out. Consciously you stroke a hand over the braids in your hair and looked at the bartender. 
“Don’t worry,” he said as he noticed your looks. “Many tourists come dressed up.” 
You tilted your head to the side and hesitated telling him the truth. Figuring there wouldn’t come much trouble from doing so, you sat up and shook your head. “These are my normal clothes.” 
The barkeeper cocked an eyebrow and then went on with cleaning the glasses. You stared at the brown liquid in your glass before you knocked it back and softly placed your glass back on the bar. The movement caught the attention of the man behind the bar and he lifted the bottle, silently asking if you wanted another one. 
“Sure,” you answered and pushed your glass forward. 
The way the man filled the glass reminded you of how Stefan used to fill your glass. While you preferred to drink straight from the bottle, he would always insist on taking glasses from the galley. 
“We can at least pretend we’re fancy,” he’d say, as you were hidden in the shadows of the back of the ship. 
A faint smile played on your lips as you thought back of Stefan, but your inside burned as you heard his last words back in your head. Jer elsker pe. The truth was that you weren’t quite sure if you loved Stefan back. He had always been close to you and you appreciated him being such a good friend to you, but you didn’t love him the way he loved you. At least, that’s what you thought. You had never really experienced love before, so how could you know what it felt like? 
“Maybe you should slow on those,” the bartender said as you placed yet another empty glass on the bar. 
“No,” you rasped, fighting the burn in your throat. “I’ve had worse.” 
“I can stop giving you, y’know?” the man said as you lifted your glass again for another. 
“And not get paid? You wouldn’t.” 
The barkeeper laughed and poured you another glass. This time you didn’t immediately drink it all, but you turned around on your stool and looked at the biggest table on the floor. It was an oval-shaped table, lined with the same crimson of the seat you were sitting on, and around it sat seven people. Dice lay in the middle of the table, surrounded by grey, black and red chips and a stack of cards. 
Even in the noise of the other tables and people walking between them, the conversations at the big table were clear. 
“You’re bluffing!” the man on the right shouted. He was big in all aspects someone could be big. The hems of his trousers were too high up his legs and the sleeves of his jacket were too short. The golden buttons of his blouse were about to burst and his hat kept sliding off his head because it didn’t fit well. His appearance was only mimicked more by his dark red cheeks and the little drops of sweat that were rolling down his face. 
“Am not,” the lanky, dark brown man on the other side of the table said. He had a wicked grin on his handsome face and seemed to be in his element. His feet were lying on the edge of the table and he held his cards loosely in his hand, like they were to fall any moment. 
“How could you—? You don’t— No one—” the big man started and the colour drained from his face. You had missed what the beginning of the conversation was, but surely it was not something the big man wanted to come out. 
“Maybe you should try to keep such information to yourself,” the tall guy said. “Now, are you in or out?” 
The surrounding men at the table nervously shifted in their seats as they looked at the big man. He patted his head with a silk handkerchief and stared at his cards for a moment. A new set of sweat seemed to pour over his forehead and eventually he threw his cards open on the table. ‘I’m out.’ 
The man got up from the table and he hurried away, followed by the other five men. They walked past you in a queue outside and when they were all gone, the guy at the table smiled pleased.
“He was bluffing,” you noted, after taking a quick glance at the cards that were lying open on the table. 
“What?” the barman asked, who had watched the play with you, and you were reminded that you were not alone. 
A warm rush spread in your cheeks and you turned your head to the bartender. “That guy was bluffing to scare the man away.” 
The man squeezed his eyes at you and said a little too late: “Why’d you think that?” 
“Look at the cards on the table,” you said and peered back at the big table. “That man on the left had two of the highest and the person two seats from him had another. I can’t see the cards on this side of the table, but whatever they are, this guy can never have enough to win.” 
The barman looked at you for a few seconds. “How do you know?” 
You looked out over the hall, scanning the games on other tables. “You learn things,” you shrugged and then nodded to a little table closer by. “See that guy? How he is glancing between his cards and the dealer’s hands?” The barkeeper leaned forward over the bar and looked at where you were pointing. “He has good cards and is trying not to let anyone notice it.” 
The man leaned back from the bar and filled your glass without you even asking. He rested one hand on the bar and looked at you. “Where did you learn that?” 
“Well, you have to do something on a ship,” you said, swirling the drink. “Eventually staring at the stars all night gets a bit boring.” 
The barman snorted laughingly. “You’re from a ship?” Then he looked at your outfit again and he nodded. “Now that makes a lot more sense,” he mumbled. “When did you arrive?” 
“About an hour ago,” you answered and pulled the clock from your blouse. 
Meanwhile, the handsome guy from the big table walked to the bar and he greeted the bartender as he sat down one seat away from you. You looked at him from the corner of your eye and stopped at the guns on his hips. The clock lowered without you realising and you gave up on trying to hide your stare. 
The two pearl-handled guns shone in the light from above and you shook your head in disbelief. Zemini-made revolvers were rare, and you would know. You had heard stories about them from your mates on The Teufel, but none of them had ever even had one in their hands. Only Nerseh in his younger years had owned one, but he had lost it in a battle. The Zemini guns were feared among your crew and there were two of them right next to you now. 
“See anything you like, darling?” the guy asked and your eyes shot from his revolvers to his face. He had that same mischievous smile on his lips and there was a glimmer in his eyes as he raised his eyebrow at you. 
“Those are pretty rare guns,” you said, ignoring the guy’s suggestive tone. 
He took one of the revolvers from the holster and let it twirl in his fingers. Though you didn’t want to, you felt a shiver run down your spine at the ease with which the boy handled his guns. You had gotten quite familiar with your own guns, but you had yet to learn that. 
The boy must have seen your googling eyes because he smiled a bit more real now and said: “I know, Zemini-made. You don’t find that very oft—” 
“Faen!” you interrupted in Fjerdan, using the word that you had heard Stefan say so often. You had looked at your watch and realised that it was much later than you had thought it was. It was already a quarter till midnight and it would take you at least twenty minutes to get back to the harbour. You jumped from your seat, threw some coins on the bar and straightened your coat, mumbling: “Stupid windowless walls…” 
Without sparing another look at the two guys you left behind you stormed out of the Crow Club into the street. Rain was pouring down from the sky and you shivered at the sudden cold. For a second you looked around and scanned your surroundings and then you hurried off in the direction you had come from. 
People passed you in a blur of colours and shadows as you ran over the streets, desperately trying to find a way back to the harbour. The captain wouldn’t appreciate you being late and it would most likely cause you a night scrubbing the deck on a night you actually had been free. But perhaps Stefan would accompany you. 
Your mind automatically seemed to find a way to think of your best friend. The situation in the gambling hall had taken your mind off him for a minute but now your logical senses were numbed by the alcohol the Fjerdan was back again. Stefan could’ve easily found his way back. The boy could find a route almost everywhere, even in a place you had never been before. He would just follow the direction of the sun or look at the leaves on a tree and know where you were. 
But Stefan wasn’t there to guide you back. He was probably already back at The Teufel, waiting impatiently on you. 
Every alley looked the same and all the gambling houses had the same flashy lights. You didn’t know if you were moving forward or just running in circles. Somewhere above in the sky you heard the twelve bells that told you you had to be back already. With the feeling you had passed the house on the corner of the street three times before, you ran on, ignoring the protesting people if you ran into them. You almost fell over your own feet and nearly stumbled into a girl dressed all in dark clothes. 
“Sorry,” you mumbled, pushing away from her softly but when you turned around to her she was nowhere to be seen on the street. You were too much in a hurry to worry about that and ran on, sighing in relief when you saw the fluorescent lights from the Lid. 
The Lid was filled with more people than the Barrel you ran from and it was harder to manage a way through. You pushed and threw yourself between people, growing a little nauseous from the smell of so many bodies together combined with the smells that came from the kitchens around. As you hurried through the tourists, your breath was high in your throat and you could feel your heart beating in your head. Heavy breaths fell over your lips but you refused to take a moment to rest. 
The glittery lanes were soon exchanged for the dark open space of the harbour. The cobblestones echoed the sounds of your footsteps as you ran. People shot you weird looks as you raced past them. 
The closer you came to where The Teufel lay, the busier it became, but instead of searching for a reason you just hoped that you could still make it past them. However, the crowd became too big for you to run as fast as you had and you slowed your pace slightly. You zigzagged between people and pushed them aside, getting various insults thrown at your head. As you came closer to the inner circle of the crowd, you realised that they weren’t just randomly standing there; they were standing around The Teufel. 
You stopped running completely and approached the busiest part of the crowd at walking pace. Now you weren’t focusing on your own thoughts you heard that the people were all muttering and talking with each other—and that the people closer to the water were screaming and shouting. 
The few people that stood in between you and your destination you pushed aside softly and the closer you got the more you felt a strange heat on your face. When the woman in front of you stepped aside, your jaw dropped. 
There, in the water, right where it had been when you left earlier this night, lay The Teufel completely in flames. Not a single part of the main deck had been spared, flames were reaching high up in the sky, eating the masts like a monstrous creature. Thick dark grey clouds hung above the ship in the dark blue night sky. The flames curled around the hull of The Teufel, like a devil claiming its prey. Wooden walls collapsed, iron melted and ropes caught fire, sending the flames up to destroy the crow’s nest. 
Among the chaos on the shore and the sound of the fire, all you could think about was one thing. My family. The shouting and cackling couldn’t drown out the screams of terror that came from the belly of the ship. Cries for help, prayers to all gods and saints. Your crew was in there. Your people were inside of a burning ship. Your friends and family. They were all trapped. 
It could have been you. If you hadn’t lost track of time, you would’ve been there with them. You would have arrived before the twelve bells, gone inside with the others and would be trapped in there now. It could have been you, but instead it was your crew. And you didn’t know what was worse. 
There was nothing you could do. No way to run on the ship and free your mates without catching fire yourself. No way to stop that fire that was capturing The Teufel. No human could do it, no grisha either. This was more than an accidental fire, this was controlled. Don’t fight a bigger power without knowing its weaknesses. It was a phrase your father would say to you whenever you had been mad at the world as a child. The advice he had ignored before he had gone to fight his way into death. You didn’t know what the fire’s weaknesses were, if there were any weaknesses at all. All you could do was stand on the shore with your hands clasped over your chest and your eyes stuck on what had once been The Teufel. What had once been your home. 
The screams of the crew were engraving themselves in your mind, cutting you open and leaving deep wounds. The last bit of your hope had been left behind on that ship and was now burning away, leaving nothing but a hollow chest. 
Time passed by as you stood on the shore, watching the last remains of your home falling apart. You didn’t look away when the fire burst through the portholes in the hull of the ship and you didn’t flinch as you heard the last sounds you would ever hear from your crewmates. You took it all in, soaked your mind in the pain, feeling the shock and terror making place for fury. One day, you promised yourself. One day you would find a way to get revenge. 
You knew that in a city like this news would spread fast. Surely before sunrise all the people in Ketterdam would know of the ship that had burned away in Fifth Harbour. You wouldn’t be safe; not from the questions of the people and not from whoever had done this. You were sure that they wouldn’t be too keen on having missed someone from the crew before they blew it up. Chances were big that, if anyone ever found out that you had belonged to The Teufel, your days would be numbered. 
Fortunately you hadn’t told anyone you were part of The Teufel’s crew. Anyone but the barman at the Crow Club. You hadn’t literally told him, but you were sure he could put two and two together. 
Once the fire had been settled and the ashes of the wood were only still smoldering, you straightened your back. You would find the barman and ask him not to tell anyone. Or perhaps you would find your ending in the streets of the Barrel. The Teufel had been your home for two years, but it was time to get moving. 
-=-=-
The Crow Club stood proudly in front of you. Rain was running down your face, following the lines of your neck into your blouse. You were cold and your entire body was shaking but you knew that was more from the shock than the rain. In the back of your head you still heard the screams but you tried to block them out as you stepped to the gambling house. 
As you walked closer to the entrance, a boy stepped in front of the door, blocking your way. He was huge with arms full of tattoos and a mouth full of crooked teeth, some of them missing, and when you approached him you realised he was watching you. He expected me. This guy had been waiting for you, he had known that you would come back. How could he?
Hesitating you went forward. You had already seen the gun on his belt and you were quite sure if you turned around and walked away he wouldn’t be afraid to use it. In front of the boy you stopped and leaned to the side to look inside the building. 
“I’m sorry, could I go inside?” you asked, your voice mellow and innocent. “I would really like to warm up a little.” 
The man just tilted his head to the side and his lips turned into a stupid grin. His hand rested casually on his gun, though you knew that all his moves had been precisely calculated. Whether by himself or someone’s orders was your next guess. 
“You better follow me,” the boy said and his eyes glassily looked at you. 
“Do I have a choice then?” 
“No.” The man took his gun from his belt and easily pointed it to your chest. If he shot now he wouldn’t kill you, just harm you. So he wants me alive. 
“Fine, fine,” you mumbled and lifted your arms in the air to show you were defenceless. 
The guy roughly pushed you away from the door and held the barrel to your back as he led you away from the Crow Club. 
You weren’t sure why the boy didn’t just put a bullet through your head. If he was part of whoever had burned down The Teufel, why would he want you to stay alive? The rest had been murdered mercilessly, what did they have in mind for you? 
However, if he wasn’t not part of the fire, why did he want to have you at all? You couldn’t think of anything you had done wrong or of any danger you could be. You were pretty much just a harmless teen in a strange city. 
The man pushed you through the street and over a bridge. You made a few turns into small alleys and streets, passing houses in all shapes and kinds. Behind some windows flickered a soft light, others were dark. You heard screaming from one house and music from the house next to it. Laughter of children and cursing from adults. 
You stopped in front of a house that looked exactly like all the others; crippled and on the brink of collapse. The guy held his gun to you as he kicked open the door and then pressed the barrel deeper in your back to make you walk. Slowly you passed over the threshold and stood still in the hall of the house. 
Much different from what you had expected, the inside of the house was not damaged like the outside. While the colours and construction did look old, the house was built to survive for longer than just a few years. 
“Up,” the man mumbled and he nodded to the stairs. 
You followed his order and headed up the stairs, feeling your legs ache from all the walking on land you had done in the past hours. Though you got used quite fast to the difference, a sudden change from sea to shore did have its effects on your body. Especially if you crossed an entire city twice in one night. 
The staircase led to a landing with many doors. The house wasn’t particularly big and with that many doors, you figured the rooms must be small. You wondered what this house was used for. It almost had the feeling of a hostel, but there wouldn’t be many guests if putting a gun to someone’s head was their way of advertising. 
“That room,” said the guy and he gestured at one of the doors in the corridor. 
The wooden planks creaked under the weight of your body. The door of the room was closed and the man with the gun knocked on it with much more restraint than you expected from someone who had just abducted you from the streets. 
It was silent for a moment as you and the man waited for the door to open. Your heart was beating in your throat and you swallowed deeply. Nerves were running through your body, sending tingles down to your fingertips. 
The door opened and before you had time to look inside, the guy pushed you inside and closed the door again behind you. You were inside a small room, with a bed, a chair and a closet that put half the room in shadows. On the wall opposite of the door was a little window, showing the side of another building that stood next to the house. The window reminded you of the portholes inside the hold of a ship, your least favourite place as there was very little light. 
However, the room didn’t have much space in your mind as your attention was caught by the person in the room. He could not be much older than you yet it felt like this boy had more character than an old man. His face was hidden in the shadows but you could make out the hard lines framed by sleek black hair. His eyes shone like emeralds under his dark brows and there was a malicious glance in them when they rested on you. 
“Sit,” he spoke and the rock salt rasp of his voice sent shivers down your spine. “Please.”
You sat down on the simple wooden chair in the middle of the room, though you rather would’ve kept standing. The boy was towering over you now, standing in front of you, leaning on his cane. Your eyes slid to the silver handle under his gloved hands. It had the shape of a crow’s head.  
 “Who are you?” you asked, trying to calm the nerves you felt rushing through you. You weren’t necessarily afraid of the boy, but you also couldn’t deny the unease in your body.
The boy cocked his head to the side and the smallest wicked grin played on his lips. “An hour ago a ship was set ablaze in Fifth Harbour,” the boy said and you looked away from his stern gaze. “The Teufel. A rather bold way of naming a ship, after the devil, isn’t it? Nothing is left of The Teufel, no plank, no crewmate. Or at least, so is said. That is why you are here, not y/n?” 
Your head snapped up to the boy and your eyes narrowed at him. “You know my name?” 
“I know lots, y/n, and your name happens to be on that list,” the boy said and it was a little harder for him to hide his smirk. He’s enjoying it, you realised in disbelief. This is what he’s trained for. “I also know that you are the only living crewmate and that you visited my club this evening.” 
“Your club?” You frowned—he seemed way too young to have a successful gambling club. 
“Yes, my club,” the boy repeated and he shifted his weight, letting a sigh fall from his lips. “You sat at the bar and ordered more drinks in two hours than an average adult would in four hours.” 
You looked back at your feet. You knew you had trouble staying away from the drinks, but that didn’t make it any nicer when someone pointed it out. At sea it had never really mattered—the others had drunk with you and as long as you did your duties successfully the captain didn’t care if you were sober or not. 
“You spoke with no one and just watched the games, until my barman got some information out of you,” the boy went on and you felt his gaze on you. “He said you were able to determine the outcome of the game after just the first card was played.” 
“So?” you shrugged. Surely that was not why the boy had gotten you there and it was definitely not something that was on your mind right now. All you could think of were the screams and the longer you sat in the dark room, the more cramped it became. 
“Can you?” 
“I don’t see how—” 
“Answer the question.” His voice was hard and cold, but laced with curiosity that he failed to hide from you. 
“I guess I can, yes.” 
The boy stayed silent for a while and the tension in the room reached for your throat. You had never been one for small rooms, that’s why you had chosen for the sea. And now the anxiety of all that had happened that night was piling up on your chest, like someone pressing down on you. The walls were closing in on you, leaving you gasping for breath. Your clothes were still wet and your hair stuck to your forehead and neck, but you were no longer cold. 
You clenched your hands around the fabric of your blouse, feeling it crumple between your fingers. But even in your panicked state you could see the change in demeanor in the boy. He planned this. He had known this would happen, he had deliberately put you in this room, knowing what it would do to you. 
“What do you want from me?” you breathed, looking up to meet his eyes, and then added with an intensity you didn’t know was in you: “Did you kill them?” 
The hard expression on the boy’s face fell for a moment as he looked at you. For a minute he turned into a boy his age, someone with a soul. “I promise you I didn’t kill them. I had nothing to do with the fire.” Then he straightened his back and slammed his cane on the floor, pulling himself out of the moment. “I have business. We’ll continue in the morning.” 
The boy limped to the door and the cane suddenly made more sense. He pulled the door open and stepped through it when you interrupted him. 
“Who are you?” 
He looked over his shoulder and casted a dark glance at your figure. You had stood up from your chair and were still holding onto the back for balance. There was an expression on his face that you couldn’t read and you feared that it wouldn’t be the last time that happened. 
“Kaz Brekker. Nice to make your acquaintance.”
-=-=-
The mattress you were lying on was lumpy and hard, forcing your back to straighten in a way it never had to. The blanket was itchy and heavy and pressed hard on your chest, not allowing you to take deep breaths. 
You were shifting in and out of sleep, unable to tell reality from imagination. One moment you were staring at the dark ceiling above you, the next you were sitting alone in the hold of The Teufel. The room around you moved in front of your eyes, the shadows dancing on the walls. In the ship, water slowly rose around you. You tried to get up, tried to run away, but it was as if you were glued to the floor. Unable to move you sat waiting for the rising water to reach for your throat. 
Something moved in the room. It was a flicker of a shadow in the corner of your eye but enough for you to notice. You forced your eyes open, but the water was rising so quickly it was impossible for you to focus on anything else. The water level was at your jaw now. You took a final breath and the shadow in the room moved again. Closing your eyes against the water, it rose above your nose. 
Then there was more movement. The shadow was coming closer to you, moving with the grace of a cloud. 
Feeling the water on your face, you opened your eyes and shot up in the bed. The water disappeared and you were in the dark room again, shaking and coughing. Yet the threat wasn’t gone; the shadow was still in the corner. 
You shifted to the side and rested your back against the cold wall, looking at the shadow in anticipation. While your heart was beating in your throat, you calmly looked ahead of you until the shadow moved from the corner. 
“How did you see me?” the shadow asked and you shrugged. 
“You move like a spider.” And I’m afraid of spiders. 
Out of the shadows stepped a young girl, hidden in a flowy cloak that moved along with her. The lack of light threw a veil over the room, covering it with a black and white filter, but still you could make out the brown skin of the girl and her almost black eyes, that were staring right at you. 
“What are you doing here?” you asked, though it would be no surprise if the girl had something to do with your meeting with Brekker a few hours ago. 
“Look,” the girl said and she moved to sit next to you on the bed. You caught a shimmer of something near her wrists, but when you looked at her she was wearing a light smile. “This isn’t the worst place to end up. You have walked through these streets; you know where you could have ended.” 
You thought back of earlier this evening when you were walking through the roads of the Barrel for the first time. The girl was right; if you hadn’t been brought to where you were now you could have turned into the colourless types that you had seen or, worse, you could have ended up in one of the brothels. 
“Kaz doesn’t just take anyone in,” the girl continued. “He must think you have some use, or he would have left you on the streets.”
You snorted; that wasn’t exactly a much better prospect. 
The girl must have guessed your thought because she chuckled shortly. “I know it does not seem like it now, but trust me—this is the right place to be.” 
Silence filled the room for a minute as you thought about the girl’s words. Instinct told you that you could trust her, and that her trust once lost, was lost forever. There were so many questions you wanted to ask her but you were afraid of the answers. You preferred mystery over knowledge right now. 
The shadow girl was looking at you with pity on her face, like she felt bad for your situation. There was sympathy behind her eyes and compassion in her touch as she placed her hand shortly over yours, giving it the lightest squeeze. 
“What’s your name?” you asked, your throat tightening at the threat of tears. 
The girl stared at you for a second and then she gave you a smile. “Inej,” she said. “But you might hear of me as the Wraith.” 
Inej got up from her place on the bed and walked to the door. Her cloak fluttered behind her through the air as she walked, falling against her legs when she halted. She turned around to you. “Kaz will send someone to get you in the morning.” 
“What will happen?” 
“I don’t know what he has planned,” Inej sighed. “But I advise you to go along with it, or it might be the last you’ll do.” 
She shot you a final smile and left the room silently. The shadow disappeared as quietly as it had come. 
-=-=-
You didn’t know if you had slept at all. Undoubtedly you had dozed off for a while, but for most of the night you had just lain on your back staring at the stains on the ceiling above you. When the morning sun had brightened your room, the hope that it might all be a dream had disappeared when reality came in crashing hard. 
The clothes you had worn last night had dried from the rain, but they no longer brought the comfort they used to. Here wearing those clothes meant that you stood out; you couldn’t blend in. When the same guy as last night had knocked on your door and ordered you to follow him you had left your jacket behind, deciding that the rest of your outfit was conspicuous enough on its own. 
Last night in the dark the house had been silent, but now you heard noise everywhere. There were many more doors than you had thought and behind every one lay a secret. The house seemed bigger now it was light. Although there was no direct sunlight in the corridors you could sense that it was day. Last night you had felt mystery as you had walked through the corridors but now it felt more like the boarding school you had gone to with all the whispers. 
“Where are we going?” you asked the boy who had brought you to this house. 
“Crow Club,” he grumbled and then kept silent. 
You walked the same route you had last night, but now the streets were deserted and the houses quiet. The Barrel was the part of Ketterdam that lived at night. 
The big, silver crow that hung above the entrance of the Crow Club like a guardian quickly came to your sight and you shivered lightly. Entering that club was what had gotten you in this situation and you feared you would only get deeper in this mess when you entered again. 
However, the big guy behind you left you no choice and before you even had time to think he had already pushed you over the threshold. 
Stumbling inside you were greeted by the same black, windowless walls and the same stuffed scent. The crimson stools at the bar were unoccupied but the tables on the gambling floor were played on, despite the early hours. Games of Ridderspel and Spijker were in full motion as you were led through a door on the side of the room. 
“Close the door behind you, Pim,” a voice from the shadows said and the boy who had led you there, apparently named Pim, closed the door. 
You looked at the strange scene in front of you. You hadn’t known what to expect but it sure wasn’t a gambling parlor. There was one big table in the middle of the room and around it stood eight chairs. Only one of the chairs was occupied and with a jolt you recognised the boy from the Zemeni guns. 
“Goede morgen,” he smiled at you as he leaned back in his chair. “Care for a game?” 
“What?” You stood rooted to the ground, staring in confusion at the guy at the table. 
From the shadows on the side of the room Kaz Brekker stepped. The loud, rhythmic thud from his cane on the floor was the only sound in the room as he walked to the table. He stopped in the middle and looked up at you with his hard cold gaze. 
“Play a game,” he said, resting his two hands on the crow head of his cane. 
“I don’t understand,” you tried. 
“It’s easy,” Brekker said. “You said you were good at card games, right? So prove it—play a game with Jesper.”
Jesper, the boy at the table, flashed his smile full of white teeth at you and raised his eyebrows. It felt like a trap, but you couldn’t forget what Inej had said to you that night. I advise you to go along with it, or it might be the last you’ll do. An invitation to a game wouldn’t be your end. 
Behind you Pim stepped closer to you and put his hand on your shoulder to push you forward. Within a second you had turned around and taken hold of his arm, twisting it dangerously close to breaking. The boy looked at you with somewhat of fright on his face and there was a little wave of triumph in your stomach. The emotions of the situation got the better of you and your heart was racing as you felt the anger rushing through your veins.
“Don’t touch me,” you hissed through gritted teeth and pushed his arm a little further. “Understand?” 
Pim’s eyes flashed to the two people behind you and he recollected himself. He pulled his arm from your grip and stepped back to the door, avoiding your eyes and looking gruffly ahead. 
You turned around and found Jesper looking at you in awe and even Brekker couldn’t hide his surprise. Then you nodded at the two men and took a seat on the opposite side of the table. “Let’s play then.”
Brekker nodded approvingly and shuffled the cards with his gloved hands. Your eyes were glued to the smooth movement of the crows imprinted cards. They slid through the fingers of the pale black-haired smoothly like water. 
“I assume you know Ridderspel?” the gloved dealer asked as he placed four cards in front of you on the table. 
“Of course,” you said, watching Jesper intently as this one got his cards. 
Because everything in the situation was new for you, it would take you two or three rounds before you would get used to the game. All, from the cards and chairs to your opponent and the dealer, was unfamiliar to you and combining that with the pressure of supposably your life on the line only made it easier to overlook things. 
Therefore you had to pay extra attention, and mostly to Jesper. His easygoing attitude and big smile were dangerous tricks that could throw you off without any difficulty but you wouldn’t fall for them. You were looking for little things that would give him away, like the slightest falter of his smile, a tiny frown or nervous twitch. 
Jesper picked up his cards and you watched him from the corner of your eyes as you pretended to look at your own cards. For this round however those wouldn’t really matter. First you had to find Jesper’s tell. That you might lose and give him confidence was only an additional benefit; people made more mistakes when they’re blinded by the price. 
At first nothing seemed to happen. Jesper kept the same smirk on his face and played the round with nonchalance, taking all but one pair in the game. Triumphantly he leaned his chair back on two chair legs and stacked his chips in front of him. 
“Don’t worry love, you’ll get it later,” he said, giving you a wink.
You shot him a sweet smile back and took the new cards off the table. After one look you had them memorised and you looked at Jesper. He was looking at his cards with sparkles in his eyes, but yet again it was no different than before. 
Silently you cursed yourself. Last night he had seemed so open and easy to read, but you realised now that there were many more layers to the guy with the pearl-handled revolvers. 
Again you lost the game, now with all your cards being lost to Jesper. His pile of red chips was building and yours was only getting lower. You looked at your chips. If you didn’t win soon the game would be over and you’d lose, and you didn’t want to think what consequences that had. 
The third game were the last cards of the deck before it was shuffled again. Your hand was to your benefit with no card lower than six. You knew there weren’t many high cards, if any at all, left in the game since Jesper had beaten you with high numbers every time. That meant that he would have low cards and now was the perfect time to watch his reaction. 
You took a new approach to finding his tell. Instead of focusing on his facial expressions, that he proved to have under control, you now concentrated on his body language. His shoulders hung relaxed and his arms were resting on the edge of the table. Though you couldn’t see his legs under the table, you knew they weren’t standing neatly on the ground but were instead crossed or at least moving. Nothing in his posture gave him away. 
Until it did. It was a flash of a second, if you’d blinked you wouldn't have seen it. For a fraction of time Jesper’s shoulders fell and his arms stiffened. No one else in the room noticed it, but your senses became hypersensitive. 
Then, when you looked at his face, you saw more. His smirk wasn’t genuine anymore and the sparkles in his eyes weren’t as bright as before. It were minuscule changes, but big messages to you. 
“I raise,” you spoke calmly and you pushed forward the last of your chips. It was all or nothing. 
You saw Brekker raising his eyebrow in the corner of your eye, but you were focused on Jesper. His brows furrowed a little and he pushed forward the same amount. Though he had chips left, if you won this round you would have much more than he, meaning you won this game. 
“Let’s play,” you grinned and opened with your six, your lowest card, but still a rather high card. 
Jesper’s card would be crucial. If he had higher than a six, he would play that and you wouldn’t win the game. If he had a six, he would play that one  and the cards would be evened out, but you would know that the six was his highest card. If he played anything lower than a six it would mean that you had won the game, for no one would lose a round on purpose and play a lower card when they had a higher one. 
Expectantly you looked at Jesper. His smirk had gone and made place for a frown as he looked at the card on the table. His joyful bluffing face was nowhere to be seen and a sigh fell from his lips when he realised his defeat. He threw a five on the table and sunk back in his chair. 
With a grin on your face you played the rest of the round and won all Jesper’s cards. At the end of the game, you rested your chin on your folded hands and smiled at Jesper. “You know what?” you started and Jesper looked up at you. “I think I got it.”
-=-=-
Kaz and Jesper had left the room after the game and Pim was standing on the outside of the door, making sure no one would get in. They had not said a word to you when they left and now you were alone in the silent gambling parlor. At least, that’s what they wanted you to believe. 
“Inej,” you said. “Come out please.” 
No matter how focused you had been on the game, you hadn’t missed the little shadow sneaking inside near the end. And you hadn’t missed how Brekker’s eyes had shifted to one particular corner while he was watching your game with Jesper. 
The girl appeared from the shadow and silently walked over to you, giving you a small smile. “How did you know I was here?” 
“Because you wanted to be seen,” you simply said and by the way her eyes widened you knew you were right. “I don’t really know you, but I have the feeling you can be really invisible if you want. Me seeing you is not a coincidence or special talent of mine. You wanted me to see you.” 
Inej chuckled softly and shook her head. “How do you do that? Knowing what I feel by just looking at me?” 
You smiled and shrugged. “I had a tutor,” you said. “Mayranoush was her name. She taught me how to know people before they even see you.”
The memory of The Teufel’s quartermaster hurt. The weird situation you were in had taken your mind off the loss for a moment, but now there was nothing to distract you the pain came double as hard. 
You thought of your crew and how much you already missed them. Captain Nerseh and his brusque manners but warm heart; Marina and her cheerfulness; Vinay, who was the only one who still had wanted to play games with you. You missed them all so much and you couldn’t believe that they weren’t there anymore. 
But the one you missed the most was Stefan. He had been your best friend for the past two years, you had spent every day together and never had you thought you’d have to say goodbye. You thought of his last words to you. Back then you hadn’t known what to say, but now as you were sitting there without him you knew that you loved him too. But it was too late. 
“Jer elsker pe,” you whispered to yourself. 
“What?” Inej asked and you looked up. You had forgotten she was sitting next to you, so silent she was. 
“Nothing,” you mumbled and then turned to her. “Can I ask you something?” 
“Yeah, sure,” Inej answered and she smiled at you. 
“Have you ever loved someone?” 
Inej’s eyes flickered to the door Kaz had just left through and then she looked at you in silence for a minute. “No,” she said finally. “Never loved like that. Why?” 
You stared at the upholstered table in front of you and swallowed away the pain in your throat. “I just… It hurts so much. Everyone always says that love is the most beautiful thing in the world, but no one ever mentions the pain…” 
“Maybe the pain makes you appreciate it more,” Inej said. “Often we don’t see what we have until it’s gone.” 
A tear rolled down your cheek and you shook your head. Inej was right; you hadn’t known you loved Stefan until he was gone. But that didn’t matter anymore. There was no way you could get the Fjerdan back and you wouldn’t turn into a mess trying to find one. You would keep your love for him deep in your heart until it was nothing more than a memory. 
“Life’s not fair,” you said and you wiped the tears from your face. “But I’ll get my even.” 
“How?” Inej asked and you turned to her. 
“I will find who burned down my home and I will destroy them to the ground they’re standing on.” 
“I suggest you find help for that,” the cold voice of Kaz Brekker said. 
You looked to your side to meet Kaz and Jesper. Pim was standing inside of the room again, still avoiding your eyes when you looked at him. Jesper was watching you with a smirk and he winked at you when he caught your eyes. 
Finally you turned to Brekker, who was looking at you with a peculiar expression. There was something playing around his lips that you would almost call a smile and his eyes had lost the ice cold gaze. 
“Who do you suggest?” you asked, looking up at Kaz. 
He shrugged half and said, before he walked away: “I have some connections.” 
Pim and he disappeared behind the door and you were left dumbfounded with Inej and Jesper. The latter placed his hand on your shoulder and chuckled. You looked between him and Inej and raised an eyebrow. “What just happened?” 
“I think you just became a member of the Dregs.” 
- - - - - 
special thanks to @awritingtree​ for the support and encouragement <3
there’s no taglist yet, but let me know if youw ant to be added to the SoC-taglist!
MASTERLIST
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cacoetheswriting · 3 years
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little riddle
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pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader warnings: gossip / rumours, talk of tattoos, a lil mutual pining, mainly fluff word count: 1.9k summary: crude workplace gossip brings you and spencer even closer. 
a/n: this is a follow up to little mystery. you don’t necessarily need to read the first part, but it will give you some context/background if you do.
-
News of the friendly little tattoo bet spread through the office like wildfire. And the news of who won was like adding gasoline to the heavily burning flame considering the risqué nature of your secret ink.
The thing about rumours is they don’t always start out that way.
Half the time it is simply an overheard conversation between friends, in this case also colleagues. The snippet is usually taken out of context. Passed from person to person to person until it spirals out of control and transforms into an unverified information statement. A believable one at that.
You were no stranger to workplace gossip, and truthfully it never bothered you. People will say what they want to say. Think what they want to think. It was a useless affair to try and stop them, or change their mind. Therefore, you never batted an eye.
Until now.
The current story going around didn't just involve you. It also focused on a certain young doctor who took things extremely literally, and often to heart.
Watching people walk through the bullpen whispering to one another, pointing fingers, and giggling. That sort of behaviour made you really angry. Primarily because you knew how to protect yourself and your feelings, but Spencer didn't quite grasp the concept of a rumour.
He currently sat slouching at his desk thinking he did something wrong.
With a soft sigh, you swiftly got to your feet and ambled towards him. Gently, you placed one hand on his shoulder causing him to glance up and meet your gaze. His lips pursed into an awkward half-smile.
“What do you say we get out of here? Maybe grab a quick bite to eat?” you suggested, raising a brow.
Spencer briefly glanced between the couple of agents currently looking at the two of you, whispering to one another. He nervously cleared his throat, and proceeded to slowly nod his head.
Once he stood up, you linked your arms together, unafraid of the judgemental stares.
Spencer on the other hand tensed under your touch, under your sudden closeness, under the lingering gaze of the gossiping agents. You noticed it instantly, and leaned in slightly so that your lips were at his ear.
“Don’t pay attention to them. They’re just jealous.” you whispered with a small smile.
The young doctor huffed quietly, clearly confused. “I don’t understand. Why would they be jealous?”
“Because you’ve seen what no other person in this sad joint has seen.” you teased, hoping it would lighten the mood just a little. It didn’t.
Spencer furrowed his brows together. “You mean the tattoo? If I knew it would cause this much drama I would have kept my mouth shut.”
“Don’t talk like that, doc. I’m glad you won the bet, I’m glad you got to see the tattoo, and I’m glad it’s you and me they’re talking about.” you reassured him as best you could, waiting for the elevator.
The metal machine appears momentarily and the two of you stepped inside. It was then you let go of his arm and leaned against the wall. Spencer slid his hands into the pockets of his pants, confusion still visible on his features.
“Why are you glad they're talking about us, Y/N?”
You shrugged. “Gotta make the best out of every situation, right? Plus, doc, I’m quite flattered they think I have a chance with someone like you.” you smiled, as his eyes widened.
Nervously, Spencer twitched his nose. “I-I... You-u think ehm, you think I’m out of your league?”
You nodded. “Of course! You’re incredibly smart, unknowingly funny, and not to mention really handsome. I’d be very lucky if you even considered being with someone like me.”
The young doctor wasn't entirely sure whether you meant what you said, or if perhaps you were just trying to cheer him up. Either way, it was the confidence boost he needed. His whole body instantly relaxed and his lips twirled upwards.
“I’d be the lucky one, Y/N.” he stated, a hint of hesitation in his voice.
Blood rushed to your face at the comment. You bit down on your bottom lip and simply stared at the man ahead, getting completely lost in his golden-eyes.
-
“Do I have something on my face?” you asked while bringing one hand up to your cheek, ready to wipe any crumbs away.
The young doctor quickly shook his head. “N-no... I-I ehm, I was just thinking.”
“About what?” you pried.
Spencer swallowed his breath. “Why don’t you want to know how I found out about your secret tattoo?” he asked in a low tone, and as soon as the question escaped his lips, he looked down at his empty plate, suddenly afraid of what your answer might be.
You observed him for a moment. The honest answer was you liked the mystery of not knowing. Spencer was always full of surprises, which is one of the many things you adored about him. To you, it didn’t matter how he found out.
The young doctor however, always liked to have all of the answers and you knew the topic would continue to bother him.
Dropping your fork, you placed your elbows on the edge of the table and rested your head in the palms of your hands. “Tell you what, doctor...” you began, grabbing his attention. He looked back up at you. “How about I guess how you knew? It’s only fair, don’t you think?”
The idea seemed to interest Spencer because his ears perked up and a timid smile circled his lips.
“But I’m gonna need some sort of clue because I am nowhere near as smart as you.” you added with a smirk, and he nodded.
The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes, just smiling at one another. An unfamiliar, yet unmistakably happy feeling settled in the pit of your stomach as his eyes searched yours with such amity you thought you would melt into your chair at any given second.
“So,” you cleared your throat, “What’s my clue?”
Spencer pursed his lips.
You could see the wheels turning, as he took his time to think of something that wouldn’t be too hard for you to guess. He would never underestimate your intelligence, and in all honesty Spencer had a feeling you probably already had the answer, you were just giving him the benefit of the doubt. Always putting him first. He couldn’t help but chew on the inside of his cheek, containing the goofy smile the thought brought.
“It is the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of the end and the end of every space. What is it?” Spencer asked, and you furrowed your brows.
“Are you seriously giving me a riddle right now?” you gawked, “That’s my clue?”
“You said not to make it easy on you,” he pointed out, and you were slightly taken aback by his sudden confidence. It was a good look on him, confidence. You took a mental note to point it out to him later.
“Touché.”
-
The riddle played on your mind the rest of the afternoon. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t interfere with your work just a little.
Leaning back in your chair, fiddling with the pen in your hand, you silently mouthed the words to yourself over and over again - trying to make sense of what the answer was.
The first to notice the contemplation spread across your features was Morgan. He approached your desk, propping himself against the item and crossing his arms. Your eyes snapped up and you immediately took note of the grin circling his lips.
“What’s on your mind, pretty lady?”
“A riddle.” you answered honestly.
Derek furrowed his brows. “A riddle?”
You nodded.
“Well, care to share? Maybe I can be of some assistance.” Morgan offered, leaning down towards you for a brief second.
“No,” you hummed, “I think I got this.”
Derek rolled his eyes, scoffing. “You and your secrets.”
The comment made you chuckle, but before you got to say anything back, Morgan continued, “I thought the mysteries ended when Elle left. The two of you always giggling and whispering to one another.”
Your eyes widened a little and you hopped on your feet. The action seemingly insignificant, but enough to alarm the man leaning against your desk.
“What?” he asked, “Did I say something wrong?”
You shook your head, a wide smile appearing on your face. “No. You said something exactly right.” And with that you were rushing out of the bullpen, in search for the young doctor.
You found him about five minutes later in the file room, too deep in thought to even hear you approach, so he just about jumped out of his skin when you walked up behind him and exclaimed: “The letter E!”
Spencer turned on his heel to face you. Palms of his hands instantly began to sweat when he registered how close you were standing to him.
“W-what?” he managed to breathe.
“It is the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of the end and the end of every space,” you repeated the riddle before adding, “The answer is the letter E and the E is for Elle! Elle told you, didn’t she?!”
Spencer gaped at you for a moment, taking note of the giddy look in your eyes and the proud smile. He then proceeded to inhale a whiff of your perfume which was now overpowering all of his senses.
“Spencer, did Elle tell you?” you enquired, poking his arm, and in turn dragging him back to earth.
The young doctor quickly nodded his head. “Y-yes. She did.”
“Why? I mean… How does that even come up in conversation?” you weren’t angry, no. As far as Spencer could tell you were just curious.
“Because, uhm... She said if I-I knew something... intimate... about you...” he paused and swallowed his breath, “... I would have an easier time asking you out.”
As soon as the confession escaped his lips, he inhaled a sharp breath and waited. Waited for you to tell him you don’t want to go out with him before apologising and walking out, leaving him all alone to wallow. But that never happened.
Instead, your hand was now grasping his, your thumb gently rubbing circles into his burning skin. Spencer’s knees buckled at your touch, and he hoped you didn’t see the slight shake.
“Why didn’t you? Ask me, I mean.” you wondered, breaking the silence.
“B-because I didn’t think you liked me like that.” Spencer replied, exhaling the breath he was holding.
You licked your lips and smiled at the brunette doctor. “Well, I think you should ask me now.”
“Uhm...” he swore if his heart was beating any faster it would explode, which was not entirely impossible, “Y/N, would you- do you want to go on a date with me sometime?”
Smiling at him, you leaned upwards and placed your lips to his cheek. You kissed it gently before once again meeting his gaze, “I would love to.”
-
masterlist
spencer reid taglist: @no-honey-no​, @calm-and-doctor​, @idroppedmygourd​​, @averyhotchner, @wowitsel, @elldell1204, @hey-there-angels, @reidabookforonce, @willowrose99, @blameitonthenight21
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