#fuck colonialism is what i'm saying here guys

[evilkitten3]

i will say that i find it annoying how quick mcu fans are to blame fury about every little thing. like i've seen people object to nat's "eighty people in two days" comment by saying that fury was responsible for most of them (which he was, but quite frankly a government agency that exists to protect earth from extraterrestrial threats should be willing to accept members dying to keep a hostile alien from escaping with the most powerful object earth has literally ever seen, so i actually have no problem with that decision of his - everyone in that base was shown to be highly trained and aware that death was a likely outcome– note that loki knifing several people in the throat did not cause anyone to turn and run. they're secret agent soldiers, this is their job)

BUT nat pinning that on loki isn't fury's fault. we have no reason to think he told her anything but what actually happened, as nat is as much of a professional as any of the soldiers in that base were. i don't know if that was intentional manipulation on nat's part (again, i have no problem with that– twisting the truth to motivate people to fight back against the alien whose stated intention is world domination is fine by me), or if she just made an assumption and fury didn't care enough to correct her (in which case the blame would be somewhat on him but frankly getting into semantics when you need to be focused on the actual alien threat is kinda pointless), or if nat just has a mindset of root cause->fault (which would've been interesting but g-d forbid we focus on nat's personality instead of her ass), but it's still not fury's fault that she said that

fury was one of the best characters in the first avengers movie (which wasn't like cinematic brilliance or anything but you know what it was a fun movie and i enjoyed it cringe isn't real in this instance), and people are way too willing to ignore the surprising amount of depth that movie gave him in favor of "government man bad" (which. ok yes i agree with that in principle irl but tony stark is a billionaire and thor tried to invade a sovereign nation like a year ago; you gotta make allowances for fiction or else they're all horrible)

the council fired two missiles at new york. everyone remembers tony yeeting the second into space, but i think people forget that fury took down the first one (somehow without killing the pilot):

to be clear, the world council are basically his bosses. they ordered him to nuke the city and he refused. they went and did it anyway. hill warned fury and he managed to stop the first missile himself and was also the one who alerted tony to the second.

just..... credit where credit is due, yeah? fury's not a cardboard cutout of a character, he's probably the mcu's first real attempt at a protagonist character entirely in the morally gray zone whose decisions and actions as a character are both shown in a way that also the audience to understand where he's coming from while also giving them the space to say whether they think he was right or not.

the whole "using the tesseract to make weapons" thing makes sense. he has a good reason for it too– even ignoring what we learned in captain marvel, the events of the first thor movie made it clear that aliens were out there and could fuck shit up, something agents of s.h.i.e.l.d. then established he'd known even before that. and he's right– earth really, really, really isn't prepared to defend itself against what's out there.

also, kudos to that scene in particular for doing a pretty good job of giving characters reactions that made sense for those characters (usually this is something that shouldn't need brownie points, but it's whedon, so not basing the whole thing on snark that could come from anyone is a step up). steve is against making weapons with the tesseract bc that's what hydra did (and while he has every right to feel that way and be angry about fury not mentioning that, i feel like it needs to be said that there's a noticeable difference between "i'm making this to take over the world" and "i'm making this so we don't get murdered by fucking aliens"), tony is against it bc he has weapon-making trauma, bruce is against it bc he doesn't trust the government (nor should he), thor is against it bc he thinks humans are meddling with what they shouldn't (which. sure but that's sorta our thing. we're the "hey what's that let's meddle with it" species), clint isn't there, and nat doesn't give two shits.

anyway this is a whole lotta nothing but i love nick fury and he deserves better than being written as a cardboard cut-out convenient antagonist in fanfiction (especially if the author goes out of their way to have coulson and hill be good guys trapped under fury's tyrannical thumb. real subtle, y'all.)

[crimeronan]

guys. okay. rubs my temples.

i have blacklisted every word u can Possibly think of to block posts i do not want to see and somehow keep seeing them. so Please know that this is not a shit-starting post. hence why it's unrebloggable. because i legitimately just want to communicate to people in my immediate sphere.

it is... Not Acceptable Or Appropriate... to make/reblog posts referring to a collective of "jews" or "jewish people" in response to israel's genocide of palestine.

what i mean by this are posts along the lines of "what jews don't realize is-" "i wish american jews knew-" "can't wait to watch jewish bloggers come up with the worst takes imaginable-" etc etc etc.

it is similarly Not Acceptable Or Appropriate to refer to rabbis, synagogues, jewish practice, and other aspects of judaism/jewish culture as a monolithic hivemind that's loyal to israel. this includes "you're all being brainwashed by your rabbis/synagogues" "synagogues are zionist institutions" "stop speaking hebrew until your people stop committing war crimes" etc etc etc.

your kneejerk reaction (if u are a leftist goy) will likely be along the lines of: but it's simply like referring to a collective of british people or american people wrt imperialism, colonialism, and war crimes. you don't mean LITERALLY all jews, just like you don't mean literally all brits or americans.

this is unfortunately a false equivalence because of the antisemitic history and violence behind the idea of Monolithic Jews and Dual Loyalties. there is a quick overview of some of The Problems here; jewish scholarship and discussion of this is incredibly broad and varied... because jewish people are incredibly broad and varied.

like i'm fucking begging. you have Got to knock it off. i was gonna say something snide about how it's telling that i'm seeing a lot more posts About The Jews than about the fundamentalist christians who fanatically support israel's right-wing fascist govt, but like.... god i don't care i don't care i don't want to be writing this. It Just Sucks.

That's It. It Just Sucks

while i'm here, since i don't plan to talk about this anymore unless i have important resources to share: ACTUAL helpful things you can do are to keep an eye on the news and communicate with your own governments. for americans (just bc i am american) -- the biden administration has pledged to work with israel to allow humanitarian aid into gaza. it's important that the public pressure for that to happen continues & that the documentation of what's happening in palestine continues.

the more you guys turn your issue into an issue with "the jews" or "jewish people," the more time we're going to waste explaining why this is not acceptable or appropriate. which is frustrating because there is shit out there that Matters A Whole Lot Fucking More Right Now.

so keep talking about what matters. and please please PLEASE think for two seconds before you make any posts referencing jewish people.

[fuckyeahisawthat]

Oh btw here's an interesting Dune Part 1 review by historian Bret Deveraux, specifically about how the movie handled imperialism. Hope he makes one for Part 2 at some point: acoup . blog/2021/11/05/miscellanea-reflections-on-the-sands-of-dune/

(I got both your asks and I'm answering them out of order; trust me it'll make sense.)

Oh this was such an excellent review; he picked up on a lot of things about the way the Atreides are presented that are there but easily missed if you go into it thinking they're the good guys. That scene where Stilgar comes to meet Leto is so so telling because you can see Leto believes he is being respectful and diplomatic (while still asserting his right to go anywhere on the planet) but all the Atreides characters are literally standing a step above Stilgar looking down at him (except Gurney, who's gotten closer because he considers Stilgar a threat).

Even Paul, who is symbolically standing a bit apart from his family here, and agrees with Stilgar that foreigners have done nothing but exploit Arrakis, comes off looking well-intentioned but a bit full of shit, inviting Stilgar to stay and be "honored" like he's a guest on his own fucking planet.

I think Devereaux really hits the nail on the head when he talks about how Denis Villeneuve is able to "create this post-colonial reading of Dune, not by preaching to us about the evils of imperialism but simply by turning the camera, as it were, and getting us to view the question from the Fremen point of view." Because yeah turning the camera around, from what is often the default POV--that of the privileged, the powerful, the colonizers--is exactly how I think of this type of shift in perspective. It happens metaphorically in the Villeneuve Dune, with things like using Chani instead of Irulan to frame the whole narrative, and it often also happens literally.

Every time I watch Part One, I always get smacked in the face by this moment:

...where we transition from a series of fairly objective wide shots of the harvesters descending to this shot, which is not objective at all. We are literally being introduced to this world from behind the barrel of a resistance fighter's gun; it is pretty hard to think of a stronger POV choice than that. This is less than two minutes into the movie by the way.

And Part Two goes so much further in terms of showing us the world from a Fremen point of view, as Paul's own perspective on the world shifts. I really hope this guy does a review of Part Two because I am super curious to see what he has to say.

[mohabbaat]

Just some thoughts about the song 7 from folklore. She says: "we'll move to India forever" or something like that. And for the longest time it always felt so fucking weird. Cuz I was like what white/colonial nonsense is that???? YOU WON'T EVEN TOUR TO INDIA BUT YOU WANT TO MOVE HERE??? FOR WHAT??? LIKE ITS SOME EXOTIC PLACE? I'm so done with these white people just coming here exploiting us and literally treating us like shit.

she is white bestie. of course india is an exotic place. afterall, it's where white people come to visit iskcon and wear sarees for aesthetic purposes and then make reels implying they want to marry a "bhraman" guy. it's, also, where they do cute little white people things like saying hello to cows and crying over poverty on camera (but not doing anything to help them off camera obviously cause everyone is a thief and a fraud) and screaming about how dirty the street food is (again, on camera). that being said, i would like her to visit at least once. so she can understand the concept of karma and stop calling it her boyfriend or her cat or the guy on the chiefs or whatever other random thing she thinks it is equivalent to.

[banamine-bananime]

one thing that always perplexes me is how often i see takes on tucker where the work positions him as a great dad*, fluent in sangheili language and culture, and most of all, a great diplomat.

i'm not here to yuck anyone's yum and i, too, am absolutely transfixed and enraptured by this man's oscillation between "my one purpose in life is to constantly test the human limits of Annoyingness" and "sudden, shocking extreme competence with no warning" like a little Newton's cradle. like, i just spent 7000 words indulging myself in thinking about a version of tucker that listens a lot more to the "do whatever you gotta to protect the people you love and do what you think is right regardless of what people think" cartoon angel on his shoulder and less to the "that sounds hard i just wanna mouth off, jerk off, fuck off, and negg church" devil. i cannot throw stones and clearly i think that's a fun and valid interpretation of how his character could evolve. but evolve is the keyword there and it baffles me when this gets treated as the fact of how he immediately snapped into being as soon as he had junior, you know?

like. obviously tucker ended up doing some massively impressive shit as an ambassador in sandtrap. but that's because he wasn't being an ambassador, he was being The Final Girl in il/ct's slasher flick. getting trapped in a beseiged temple is, traghilariously, the best thing that could have happened for him in terms of being good at that job. if tucker were a pathfinder character he would have 18s in "dealing with your life suddenly being taken over by ancient alien religion bullshit", "surviving crazy shit through sheer spite and the adrenaline rush of pissing off whatever asshole has made it their life's mission to kill you this time", and "being the only person who knows what fucked up shit is going on while the rest of the bgc ignore you". he would have a 2 in "saying things that make people want to kill you LESS". de-escalation is not in this man's skillset. he cannot even handle being normal about human women. appreciating the intricacies of sangheili culture and politics, human culture and politics, and sangheili-human relations?

Tucker: People learn English all the time, it aren't that hard.

Church: Maybe you should try learning his language.

Tucker: Fuck that, we got here first, and that makes this a colony. Those're the rules, dude. Earth colony, Earth language.

Church: Tucker there's thousands of languages spoken on Earth.

Tucker: Hyeah, but only one that kicks ass. And that's the one we're teaching. English 101, remedial kick-ass.

i know this is pre-junior and doubtlessly, he is more interested in this stuff after junior (because junior's life does depend on sangheili politics and human-alien relations) and MUST be less dense about it after HAVING to do it as a job. like by osmosis at the very least something must have permeated his brain. but the gap between this^ and "knowledgeable enough to be an asset in this career, one people need at least one relevant degree for" is, uh, bigger than a few months between leaving blood gulch and being sent out to the field

sometimes i think about what a fucking trip it would be to be on the UNSC diplomatic team with tucker LMAO can you imagine how unpopular he must have been. a bunch of polisci and IR nerds like fists clenched shaking like leaves trying to restrain the urge to give this guy a swirlie because he cannot stop sounding like a fucking family guy episode while you're trying to, like, convince the warrior queen of some isolated Sangheili heretical sect to ally with the Swords of Sangheilios and the species they've been dead set on annihlating for decades. and also you know he's only an ambassador as like the weirdest most fucked up variation of a nepo baby. nepo forced interspecies religious incubator. the token chestburster virgin mary hire. the simultaneous Hatred for this guy making your job hell, the impotent rage of knowing that it is, actually, important that he be there for Symbolic reasons, and feeling sympathetic to him. you know part of why he's Like This is literally just because he's 20 and should be at the club but has had the year from hell and didn't ask for this. it's easy to forget that because he doesn't complain about any of the actually bad things that happened and just rolls with whatever crazy shit comes his way. complaining is reserved for being an annoying little bitch about petty shit.

ANYWAYS i'm not saying stop having fun with very competent versions of tucker. we're all just here to have fun. i just like what a weird combo of competent and disaster he is, as i interpret him, and i, personally, am incapable of interpreting him as being actually very good at his job as ambassador

*the only two options are not "bad dad" and "great dad". having an alien parasite non-consensually implanted in you by a manipulative fraudster to force his own involvement in a prophecy - oh and also their species is trying to exterminate yours - and going, "well, this baby didn't choose this, they're just a baby, and you know what? my baby. i love this baby unreservedly and unconditionally, fuck you." shows a capacity for love and forgiveness that's frankly fucking insane, both in the good-impressive way and the what-is-going-on-in-your-brain-and-how-did-this-kind-of-decision-making-not-get-you-killed-yet way. and tucker very clearly loves junior a lot and does his best - which, i want to reiterate, is absolutely wild considering the circumstances - but he wasn't ready for a kid, is bad at accepting responsibility especially for others, and the way that Things Never Stop Happening in his life mean he is really not very present. and it's not JUST because of things happening outside of his control - there were periods after season 8 and after season 13 he probably could have permanently reunited with junior and didn't.

[apopcornkernel]

i dont know if there's even a ppop presence on tumblr but i do also want to promote ALAMAT, a 6-member idol boy group from the Philippines. Its members comprise of Taneo, Mo, Jao, Tomas, R-ji, and Alas. They debuted in 2021, and their creative direction centers on championing the Filipino identity and culture through their music.

sorry that ^ was a copypaste but it's a very useful and concise copypaste LOL but onto my own promo:

(note: also most of these videos have english subs!!)

(extra note bc this issue always pops up whenever locals encounter alamat: mo is always wearing black hairstyes bc he is blasian and not bc he is appropriating from black culture hdfjhdf)

KASMALA, the inverted Tagalog word for "strong" (malakas), is the MV that really did numbers on social media iirc. The video direction focused on the "human zoo" in the St. Louis' World Fair of 1904 (which included Filipinos specifically Igorots), and a general theme of anti-Filipino racism by white people (who are represented as ominous figures literally dressed in all white)

personal opinion: the music video is great but i personally think they have better songs, music-wise. and i'm going to give you an example of that by introducing you to my ALL-TIME FAVORITE ALAMAT SONG!!!

ILY ILY, a transliteration of "Ili-Ili Tulog Anay", incorporates the melody and lyrics of the Ilonggo lullaby it derives its title from. The MV and lyrics both work together to portray the experience of being an OFW/having an OFW parent. OFWs, or overseas Filipino workers, refer to Filipinos who go abroad in search of jobs that have better pay, so that they can remit money back to their families in the Philippines.

personal opinion: this is their best song THIS IS THEIR BEST SONG EVER OF ALL TIME and lyca gairanod is such a perfect singer for this. her ethereal crooning really gave me chills the first time i heard it UGH

DAYANG, the term for the wife of a Datu, is one of their most earworming songs ever. It's a gorgeous love song and what I would recommend to newbies if they want to get into alamat <3

personal opinion: The MV is kinda ass because it's just a super long extended ad for DITO PH (in terms of story and also bc they really missed out on doing a vid that drew more on culture esp bc dayang is a historical noble title and they used tausug words and designs for the graphics an the dance itself already incorporated pangasik dance which is also from the tausug people LIKEEE?? they've always promoted other cultures of the philippines i know they can do it but because of CAPITALISM--). But the song bangs so severely, as a pop enjoyer this is peak pop for me.

OH I ALMOST FORGOT DAGUNDONG

DAGUNDONG, a song basically recounting the colonial history of the Philippines from Spain to America, is just so fucking good you should watch/listen to it rn. There's EN subs don't worry you won't miss out on the context. This is colonial rage it's so satisfying I still remember where I was when they dropped this.

personal opinion: FOREVER OBSESSED WITH HOW THEY SAY "dahil puso mandirigma di papakutsa di papapugon" you guys have no idea how much i sing that line to myself sooo satisfying. Instant earworm this song i swear.

OK ONE LAST one last and i'm done. okay.

MAHARANI, a Sanskrit term for the wife of a Maharaja (translated as "great queen"), heavily features singkil, a Maranao dance which uses bamboo poles like tinikling does. The song also uses SEAsian instruments like kanun, gamelan, and gangsa. Also BINI's Jhoanna plays one of the main characters here!!!

personal opinion: this is their most pop-sounding song, which i think is slightly carried by the video i'm sorryyy. it's catchy though!! and i looove the part somewhere halfway where alas starts his verse, singing it in a more spoken-word way

___

okay 5 songs is. probably enough. this post is already kinda long shdfjskdff but yeah. pls check them out if you can hehe <3

also ppop idols are just really funny. there's no concept of an idol image so they just tweet shit. alamat jao gave out his genshin UID after a fan tweeted about having co-oped with him in genshin, and then after that he started answering questions with the hashtag "#canceljao" making a lot of magiliws (alamat fans) confused, and then he posted a classic iphone notes apology like this 😭

i'll do a bini version after this my girls deserve more international hype. they occupy a more girlcrush pop genre but they're just as chaotic as alamat if not even more 😭 there are entire THREADS on twitter of them just being hilarious jdhfkshgf i love them so much

thanks for reading <3

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

medialog may 2k24

not me being on time...

watched

the pilot of star trek: deep space nine - i normally would not list a single episode of television here but (1) it's almost two fucking hours long and (2) i watched this in some ways as one might watch a movie, i.e. at a friend's behalf without any expectation of continuing. i'm not sure that i will continue because as we all know i'm not the biggest fan of space, but i will say that my friend had been on me for ages about this and i truly could not imagine what he thought the appeal might be and then it turned out to be literally about colonialism and trauma so i was like.... okay..... points were made......

i saw the TV glow - on letterboxd i called this "beautiful, aching, strange," which i think sums it up. the visual look of this movie has really stayed with me, as have certain scenes (the neck-drawing scene - one of the most intimate, tender, & vulnerable moments i've ever seen in a movie), as has the way that i didn't really know how to watch it or what it was doing until the very end, which made it sort of curious in the moment but felt right in the end because it's about people who don't know what story they're in (made me think a little, weirdly, of the green knight, which i had a similar experience with). i also just appreciated its loving fidelity, even as that affection is complicated by the text itself, for the aesthetics of the first nickelodeon generation, and the fact that one of the things it's about is the idea of being life-changingly obsessed with something that's objectively kind of stupid.

challengers - "is this movie good" wrong question. right question is "does this movie fuck" and the answer is ABSOLUTELY. i'm gonna say something very controversial which is the more i think about it the more i think the movie was correct to include no real actual sex scenes and that in this specific case i truly believe if there was more fucking it would be less horny. last moment maybe the most purely elation-producing thing i have seen in a movie all year.

thief - i continue to be so glad to have been gently michael mann pilled by @power-chords; he is such an incredibly reliable filmmaker for making movies that are incredibly entertaining and well-made scene-to-scene but always manage to be so much meatier and more interesting in their writing & execution than the plot summary might lead you to assume. like, every time i watch one of his movies about white guys doing crimes, something people make a zillion movies about each year, i'm like, how come they don't all just do it like this guy? this one doesn't quite have the kick-it-to-eleven-something-extra to land it in top-tier mann territory for me personally, but it's still great, with a killer lead performance. it really brought home for me how much his movies are driven by a firm belief in the fact that people have personal philosophies that matter to them in a real way, and that one thing that makes him interesting and distinct is his insistence (here as in heat & blackhat) that that applies not just equally but possibly more so to people who have been incarcerated, and in fact his insistence on viewing incarceration itself as a situation which forces people to develop and articulate their personal philosophies as a matter of psychological survival (while obviously influencing what that philosophy is).

trouble in paradise - my letterboxd review of this was "siri play cowboy like me" and i stand by that: girl and boy meet cute in a classic scammer4scammer relationship, things get complicated on a later trick but ultimately they'll be loyal to each other and no one else until the end. i liked that but lubitsch is also a filmmaker who has turned out a bunch of kick-it-to-eleven movies that really wowed me and this felt a little light compared to the deranged battle-of-the-sexes fantasia bluebeard's eighth wife, the unbelievably dark and unbelievably funny WWII farce to be or not to be, or the OG MMF threesome celebration design for living. this one is just a very nice time, although i do need to stress that if it had been my first lubitsch i probably would have been more impressed, and the highs against which i am measuring it are EXTREMELY high

the bourne identity - did you know that brian cox and julia stiles are both in this movie? think about that for a minute. anyway this is decently fun

the bourne supremacy - kicks like 200% more ass than the first one, much more concerned with delivering awesome set pieces happening as frequently as possible. crazy to watch the shaky-cam action scenes in this after 7 million incoherent shitty shaky-cam action scenes and really savor the fact that even though it FEELS out of control and wild, actually you can tell what is going on with perfect clarity the entire time!

perfect blue - this is like the most incredible movie i have seen in my entire life holy shit????? just an incredible exploration of celebrity, identity, projection, parasocial relationships, the viciousness and dehumanization women in the public eye experience within the entertainment industry and without, often from people who identify as their biggest fans... also one of the only movies (seriously it's like... this and eighth grade? what else is there?) to make meaningful use of the affective/psychological/metaphorical dimension of the internet (in a way that makes clear that with the internet it's hard to suss those three apart), despite the fact that it came out in 1997 and features a scene of someone explaining to the protagonist how to go online. like it came out THAT early and ALSO: features a scene where our constantly dissociating heroine whose grasp on reality is dissolving reads a blog an obsessive stalker has been writing in her voice and uses it to identify what she did that day... like satoshi kon (RIP) your mind... this is also probably the animated movie i've seen that makes the most interesting use of the fact that "real" and "fake" can plausibly look identical in animation. it's a dark and viscerally disturbing watch with some deeply cynical observations and yet ultimately feels very humane and not wholly depressing... it's a miracle to me this movie exists i really can't believe how good it was. everything i've ever wanted happening at once.

furiosa: a mad max saga - i'm so glad chris hemsworth got to be australian in a movie that rocked... darker and slower than fury road, both by design, but i really liked its heaviness, offset (and this is like fury road) by a core humanity that feels like a real commitment. but also it is filled with many scenes that whip unholy amounts of ass.

ball of fire - THIS MOVIE WAS SO FUCKING GOOD I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! okay this is a screwball romcom from 1941 and the premise is: "stuffy but sweet grammarian currently serving as the only hot member of an eight-person team of encyclopedists realizes after a chance encounter with a loquacious garbageman seeking trivia help that his entry on slang is hopelessly outdated and ventures out of project headquarters to learn the language of the people on the streets, where he also finds a nightclub singer with a smart mouth who unbeknownst to him is a gangster's moll tangled in a web of her own." IS THAT NOT THE BEST IDEA FOR A MOVIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD IN YOUR LIFE???? everything about this movie is SO delightful. gary cooper is so funny and so cute and sweet blushing his way through a belated sexual awakening, barbara stanwyck is charismatic and sharp winning over both him and the seven old nerds who are silly and cartoonish in the best way (but also one of whom gets a monologue that is genuinely moving but whose obscenity is so thinly veiled i TRULY could not believe the board let it through in '41 lmao). this was screening as part of some partnership with the academy where different branches choose movies to highlight and it was selected by the writers, which makes sense because the screenplay is INCREDIBLE, both structurally and line by line. it's somehow both gonzo and intimate, weaving a goofy gangster plot that in the screwball setting reads almost like a parody of noir (the chief goon is named "pastrami" lmao) in at the edges of a genuinely tender love story of the very very best kind, which is two people who surprise each other and consequently themselves, who mutually change each other but not in a way that suggests either of them ever needed to be fixed... and the way this happens is largely through LANGUAGE!! the script is sooo in love with language itself, seeing poetry both in fast-talking street-corner patter and in a line from richard iii that appears in a scene that remains hilarious even as it's also so heart-rending that it elicited not one but two vocal oh's from the person behind me. like, it's so crucial that cooper's character's attitude towards all the slang he's missed while holed up with his books is the excitement of a botanist discovering a new species of fern, totally devoid of condescension or scorn (there's a scene where he tries to understand the meaning of "corny".... it's just so good). this movie felt like a magic trick!!! i just coudn't get over it!!! i was floating on air!!! i was thinking about it all day!!! love yourself and watch it as soon as you're able!!!

ONGOING: interview with the vampire season 2 - Finally Some Good Fucking Food

read

andy greenwald, nothing feels good: punk rock, teenagers, and emo - when i was working on the taylor post i asked nick if the starting line qualified as emo and he responded by pulling this book off the shelf and seeing if they were mentioned (they are, several times). i flipped through it for some additional context and decided to read it for real because i was in the mood for some light nonfiction and it seemed fun and also i know andy greenwald as half of one of the ringer podcasts (the watch, which discusses TV; i had no idea he used to be a music guy). anyway i liked this more than i expected to honestly! you can tell that greenwald genuinely admires the work of many of the bands mentioned, both in emo's hardcore antecedents and in the scene/movement/trend itself (and he devotes a lot of space to the ways emo is all three of those in different ways or sometimes all at once), but you also get the sense that he's approaching this more as a journalist than as a critic, and his primary interest is less the music than the experience of the bands and especially of the fans; it's an oversimplification to say that his argument about emo is that it brings the catharsis of punk to uncool normie teens (given the origin point of my journey with this book, yes, i did constantly find myself stumbling across sentences that sounded like things a person could write about taylor swift lmao), but that's kind of the idea, and crucial here is that greenwald thinks it's good and special that these kids have something that means so much to them, and that's true regardless of the music's artistic merits, which obviously appeals a lot to me, a person whose now deleted perblog had a running tag called #avril lavigne was my kathleen hanna. the sections where he interviews actual teenagers made me choke up... multiple times. i was also kind of pleasantly surprised by how well most of the musicians he interviews come off. a lot of attention is given to chris carrabba of dashboard confessional (not really "of," apparently it's like the mountain goats where the name refers to A Guy and other people also appear variously...) who comes across as sincere and also sincerely actually kind of tormented and unwell to the extent that i found myself like concerned about his mental health, which was not an emotion i expected to ever feel... also the final two chapters are about the internet and the last chapter specifically is about livejournal and as someone who got on liveournal as a teenager the year this book came out, greenwald is more astute about the draw of blogging for young people with many feelings than basically anyone i read pontificating on the topic in high school and maybe anyone since - i'm really hard-pressed to come up with something About The Internet i've read that made me feel "yes! this is true and resonant to my experience of Online!" as much as this did.

courtney summers, the project - summers is one of a handful of authors i actively follow, and this is the first of two books of hers i've missed while having several off-years for reading. like a special gift for me personally, it's about cults, and she nails it; the book has two timelines, one in the present and one in the past, each following one of a pair of sisters drawn into the cult at a different time, in a different way, for different reasons - but to horrifying ends just the same. summers has talked in interviews and in her newsletter about wanting to write books that push at the empathy gap for imperfect victims, and this one pushes it as far as she's ever gone; i just think it's so, so, so great that she asks the reader to watch two different vulnerable people fall for manipulation she knows the reader will be able to spot a mile away and refuses to judge her characters for being manipulated. (also as someone with Some Interest In Cults, but no personal experience... for what it's worth, i think she really nailed the organization, which she says is inspired primarily by the people's temple but will ring familiar to others as well because on a certain level all these places are the same, as well as the charismatic figure at its center. and i thought it was kinda baller to make it an explicitly christian cult.) it's also her plottiest book yet, even more so than sadie, but still retains her knife-sharp interiority. at one point in this book a character who's a journalist says something like "the closer to the bone you get, the less you can be denied," which is an apt a mission statement as she's ever written for herself, and a pretty good one if you're on the market.

listened

dula lipa, radical optimism - dua lipa is to me the living embodiment of that line from the other two, "thank you, john legend! another b-plus!" and, indeed, this album is: Fine

billie eilish, hit me hard and soft - i really wanted to adore this the way i adored happier than ever, which totally blew me away, but i didn't - it's a little too polished, a little too respectable as Well Crafted Pop (as opposed to happier than ever which sort of flirted with respectability vis a vis its subject matter and the oldies influence on its several slower tracks, but which as a project was so eclectic and brimming with ambition that it still felt really electric). but, i mean, it's still good - i really think eilish is top-tier as a songwriter and her lyricism remains distinctive (who else would open her sweetest and most joyful love song yet with a verse saying essentially "kill me if you're gone because i would have no reason to live"?),, and finneas's glossy sheen is never anything less than pleasant to lsiten to - and obviously one of the most famous figures in pop right now putting out a single about how she loves eating pussy and spoiling the shit out of her girlfriend is an unmitigated win. my favorite track is probably the after-album release of the extended cut of the bizarre eurotrash song tucked into the last two minutes of some other normal song, which makes no sense to exist but delights me.

[thegreymoon]

The Story of Minglan

Bitch, you just tried to strangle your daughter. What maternal instinct?

And the only reason you took your son when you abandoned her was because you thought you could get more money for him.

***

OH MY GOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDD 🤬🤬

THIS REPULSIVE PETTY PIECE OF SHIT WASTE OF AIR!!

Seriously, I despise him more than Manniang!

My guy, quit while you're ahead! You lost the girl because you were spineless. Get over it and stop embarrassing yourself! 🤬🤬

***

LMAO, what else is he supposed to do?

Let's say it's been four or five years since Manniang ran off. This child was two at most at the time. He would be six or seven now. What are you talking about? That is still a whole baby!

I love (and by love, I mean hate) how disposable children are in this society unless they are sons anchoring their mother's position in their respective households.

***

Oh, shut the fuck up, you bitter, pathetic loser.

***

Drag him, Tingye!

I am so sick and tired of his bullshit.

***

NOOOO, BUT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND, HE IS THE MAIN CHARACTER OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!

OF COURSE, MINGLAN WAS SUPPOSED TO WAIT UNTIL RETIREMENT FOR HIM TO GET HIS SHIT TOGETHER AND SUFFER ALL KINDS OF INDIGNITIES IN THE MEANTIME!

HOW DARE SHE NOT BUILD A SHRINE TO HIS ESTEEMED PERSON AND PUT HER ENTIRE LIFE ON HOLD SO THAT HE CAN FEEL IMPORTANT?

With all that said, this actor is beyond fantastic, I can see why people are obsessed with him. I hope to watch him in a more sympathetic role next time.

***

LMAO, look at the pot calling the kettle black 🤣🤣

I cannot with this loser of a man.

***

If he had not been born rich, he would have been the founding father of the incel movement, blaming every man with even a semblance of a spine on his inability to fuck.

***

Oh, sure, it was for the government 🙄🙄

Your jealousy is palpable. You can't even convince yourself.

***

LMAO, what the fuck.

This is a dead child you're talking about! Your child! And you are mad you cannot get money and status because of him?

***

She's right, though, she did make the biggest fool out of him.

***

Good for you for slapping her, Minglan!

I've been waiting for someone to do it for ages now.

In fact, so many people in this drama deserve slapping. It's about time you got started on that.

***

Aww, he found his dead baby 😢

***

Wait, that's all?

THAT'S ALL??

WE DO NOT EVEN GET A BEHEADING 😭😭

Not only does her sorry ass not get punished in any way, he will continue to provide for her for the rest of her life. Sure, she will not be living in a manor in luxury as his wife, but she will have a roof over he head and food to eat, plus he will have to employ people in the middle of nowhere to make sure she doesn't go causing trouble again.

She should be in prison instead. Or in some hard labour colony, which I'm sure there are plenty of in Song Dynasty China. OR BEHEADED!!

And what about his maternal Bai relatives? Do they at least get arrested/exiled/beheaded? They have been REPEATEDLY trying to kill him for YEARS!

I am very disappointed with this resolution.

***

Well, I am glad this is over.

Honestly, as far as I am concerned, this whole Manniang subplot has been a huge blight on this otherwise excellent show and a black stain on Gu Tingye as a character. Big thanks to @ruizhi for filling me in on the details from the novel so that I can understand the writing decisions here better. Obviously, I realise that I am in the minority for disliking these decisions (and Gu Tingye as a character) because from what I have seen, he is a firm favourite among the people who watched this drama and everyone is on board with this sanitised version of his character arc.

I have to be honest, if they had kept his harem from the novel, I probably would not have touched this with a ten-foot pole, because I freely admit that I watch c-dramas for the pretty people and idealised romance. I also know that this would have made Gu Tingye more realistic and thus harder to project on, which is ironic because my complaints here are the lack of realism and easy ways out since they decided to include his other women in the drama too. Harem stories depress and infuriate me and I do not watch them unless there are very compelling reasons for me to pick them up, so out of a couple of hundred dramas on my to-watch list, this one would probably not have made it to the top if it had been closer to the source material.

Even as it is, all this is precisely why I put off watching Minglan for the longest time. I knew it had polygamy at its core and this made me disinclined to start it, even though it was warmly recommended by many people in whose good taste I trust. I eventually only started watching because a c-drama friend of mine told me that there is no harem here and that Minglan and Tingye were monogamous and ride-or-die for each other, so Manniang showing up early on was an extremely nasty surprise.

With that said, now that I am here already and very invested in this story, I've long since come to terms with the fact that romance is not the main focus of this show and adjusted my expectations. I am really enjoying it for what it is, which is a family drama focused on women's struggle and suffering in this hell system that they must learn to navigate or die destitute, which is why I am especially irked by this cheap trickery they are employing to make Gu Tingye's and Minglan's relationship more "clean" than it actually is. You cannot have it both ways. Either these characters are realistic people of their time or they are not. Either you are sticking to the book version of them in the adaptation or you are not. But these cake-eating writers (as in wanting their cake and eating it too) definitely tried to get away with both and ended up with huge inconsistencies in their story that irritated me enough to sit down and write this entire screed.

Like I said in my comments on my previous Minglan post, this is the exact thing that made TTEOTM unwatchable for me and landed it on the list of the worst dramas I ever subjected myself to, despite my unceasing obsession with Luo Yunxi. Obviously, I am feeling this on a lesser level with Gu Tingye, because overall, the writing of Minglan committed fewer crimes than TTEOM and remains solid on all other fronts, so I am still invested in the story overall, him as a character and him and Minglan as a couple, but the writers here are just as much cake eaters as the writers on TTEOTM. They looked at this bad boy who worked for a story in another medium precisely because he was morally compromised in some way, wanted that for themselves, but then could not or would not follow through, either because they feared they would alienate a big portion of their audience, or because the Chinese censorship board wouldn't let them get away with it. Then they did this ridiculous thing where they tried going, "Yeah, he's bad, but he's not really! He was set up! It was a misunderstanding!" And ended up blowing a giant hole in their whole story.

If they didn't want to explore Gu Tingye as a man of his time making the same selfish decisions as other men of that time, then they should not have had him acting like one. They should have had a logical and consistent reason why he didn't keep mistresses and concubines (such as, idk, seeing his mother suffer or something) and not introduce Manniang in the first place. What was the point of her in the plotline if we were not going to see him and Minglan make the hard decisions, either to treat his illegitimate offspring as lower-class citizens so that her biological kids could be afforded all the privileges of their rank (which would obviously not sit right with the modern audience), or go with the modern moral code that the show wants them to have and deny Minglan's bio kids by treating all the children equally (which could have been done legally if Minglan was to adopt them, but of course, she was never going to do that)? If you never intended to go there, then why bring in Manniang and her kids in the first place?

In my opinion, if they wanted Gu Tingye untarnished in this way and his love with Minglan unburdened with the baggage of other women and stepkids, they should never have kept Manniang in the adaptation. Once they brought her in, there was no stuffing that genie back into the bottle. The shadow of book!Tingye has been around since the adult actors took over and it is not even the non-monogamy that is an issue for me now, but the character inconsistency and the extremely cheap sleight of hand that they pulled in an attempt to smooth it over.

Here is the thing. Every time I start on a story, be it a book, movie, drama, or whatever, there is a certain premise that it promises to fulfil, which comes with the expectations and limitations of the genre. I adjust my standards accordingly, so if I sit down to watch a fluffy romcom with a young, naive intern falling in love with the son of CEO, then I will judge it on how funny it is and whether the main couple is hot enough and has enough chemistry to keep me invested till the end. I am not going to be particularly worried about the power imbalance and the IRL implications of such a setup, my main concern will be if the main couple look like they are having good enough sex and if I can shoehorn my own escapist fantasy into that dynamic. However, if I start a show that deals with misogyny, patriarchy and sexual harassment of women in the workplace, then you cannot dump the privileged son of the CEO into a relationship with the main heroine and expect me to root for it, unless he is right there beside her, taking his father to court for abuse of power and dismantling the system from within. This is, IMO, what this drama failed to do with Gu Tingye. You cannot promise me a Xiao Qi and deliver a Sheng Hong with the serial numbers filed off.

Based on what I've heard and read about the original novel, book!Tingye is not that much better than Sheng Hong. He had multiple women and illegitimate children that he was playing favourites with based on their birth and rank. He sabotaged his older son and indirectly caused his death so that Minglan's children would not have competition. His daughter by Manniang was just as traumatised as Minglan. He had concubines, who were also technically wives with no way out of a hell marriage, whom he then discarded when it was convenient for him. The only reason this marriage was a victory for Minglan is that she was now the favoured wife with the highest rank, thus her circumstances in life dramatically improved. I understand why they didn't want to portray this to a wider audience, and that doing so would have seriously dented Feng Shaofeng's reputation as a heartthrob in the c-ent industry, but then they shouldn't have opened that can of worms to begin with.

I feel like they should have cut the Manniang storyline completely if they weren't going to do it properly, or, idk, had her go off the deep end much earlier and kill her kids off before he got with Minglan. That could have been used as a catalyst for his change, having him go, "That's it! No more mistresses and concubines for me!" Then we could have seen the rest of it play out as it did (minus Manniang) with a REASON, with his family pressuring him to take in a wife and concubines, him saying no, then falling in love with Minglan and moving on from there naturally and giving us a clean, idealised romance that is not typical for their time.

However, once they brought in Manniang but did not bring in all the nasty stuff implied with him having a kept woman and illegitimate children, they shot themselves in the foot because now Gu Tingye's character was in conflict with the story's internal logic. We have seen how this world functions, we have seen how concubines and the children of concubines are treated. Naturally, once they introduced Manniang and her kids (but especially her son), we were expecting to see exactly what happened in the novel, because this is the premise of the story and the laws by which the world it is set in is governed. The fact that this didn't happen did not make me sigh in relief and think of Gu Tingye as a good guy, it made me question why the story never went there. The cowardly shortcuts out of this predicament and the cheap trickery the writers used to avoid it made me feel like the story was "lying" to me, which is maybe a ridiculous word to use because this whole thing is fiction and therefore a lie. But I could no longer suspend my disbelief, immerse myself in the narrative and root for these characters. Suddenly, they felt fake.

Also, I feel downright insulted by these writing choices.

"Yeah, Gu Tingye had another woman but that's OK because she was actually evil so she doesn't count and he was right to abandon her and have his true romance with Minglan! 😀"

"Yeah, he had a son that he would have had to have been grossly unfair to or not have Minglan's kids get the full extent of their privilege of rank, but that's OK, because the kid just conveniently died! 😀"

"Yeah, his daughter should be traumatised in a hundred different ways from having such a biological mother and dealing with the inferiority complex from growing up right next to Minglan's legitimate children and knowing that in the eyes of society and her own father, she is lesser than them, but don't worry, that's OK, because we are making her suuuuuuuper well adjusted! 😀"

"Yeah, if Chang'er had lived, the audience would have been forced to confront the fact that Gu Tingye was very much a man of his time and that Minglan was also no benevolent saint and that they would have treated children that are not biologically hers as second-class citizens, just like Sheng Hong and Wang Ruofu did in the Sheng household! But that's OK, we'll just kill his illegitimate firstborn son so that you don't have to think about that! 😀"

As a character, Gu Tingye feels so disingenuous because of these shortcuts the writers took to scapegoat Manniang and absolve him of the consequences of being just like the other men in this drama. Would he have been an idealised c-drama hero that girls could pin their fantasies on if they had kept his novel characterisation? Absolutely not. They made him more attractive and palatable to a wider, modern, likely younger-leaning audience at the cost of the story's internal logic, plot coherency and character consistency, and that, for me, is a much bigger writing crime than him having a harem and treating his illegitimate children as lesser-than.

Again, this is an adaptation and nobody put a gun to their heads and forced them to include Manniang. If they had wanted Gu Tingye untarnished and idealised, they should have handled her differently. They cannot have it both ways.

With that said, I realise that I am in the minority here because most viewers were obviously very happy to let this slide (just like they were with TTEOTM). Again, most viewers will not agree with me on Gu Tingye because he is obviously a favourite ML for many, but for me personally, the overall drama loses lots of points on him, especially because of Manniang.

In any case, there are still more than twenty episodes left here for me, so onwards and forward to better plot points and character arcs! 😅

[gnashingwailing]

@fireflywritesgt ok i read your tag on ch21 and i took that as a personal challenge (and then while I was writing this you dropped ch22 and THEN 23 and murdered me. but i'm back now. so)

HELLO Ok fuck yeah hold on everybody take my hand. We’re theorizing about this chapter 🙏 spoilers thru ch23 below

Re: the tag: dare I hope the next story will be set in a similar time/place… i MUST ADMIT despite the significant broader cultural stigma of such a thing. I have often contemplated. Harry and Joe helping with providing socialized miniature healthcare 😭 (maybe to wherever Lorraine lives[?] or knows of?) and when I heard mention of a Tiny Town Hospital… one must wonder how this compares to a Giant Hospital, or to the barber surgeon dens that Joe has presumably had some frostbitten toes cut off at.

OTHER THINGS I’M SPECULATING ABOUT: “certainly, bandits were a problem a borrower occasionally had to face” 🤔 damn that's rough. I do love the sense that there are few overarching cultural norms, whether it's around marriage or language or so on. Everybody is kinda doing their own thing (including robbing each other oof).

I am also VEEEERRY curious about the implications of WHATEVER the tinies that are working in Tiny Town are doing. What kind of mechanized thing could be profitable from a lot of little guys pressing buttons? Or is it maybe not something physical they’re producing? Is it instead a research project? Some attempt at “civilizing” the tiny society for giant colonialism reasons? There’s got to be some kind of output here that is valuable to some kind of giant, but I’m still mystified at what it will be. “Joe wanted to ask him about the four armed giants who stood outside of Tiny Town” YEAH MAN ME TOO‼️ <- secretly delighted this is still coming up because I want to know what it means QUITE BADLY

Joe lamenting that there don't seem to be any libraries, or restaurants, or speakeasies, or any mark of ... art or entertainment? In Tiny Town? I REALLY HOPE Joe and Harry get over themselves and kiss soon so they can TALK ABOUT HOW FUCKING WEIRD THIS PLACE IS???? It made me INSAAANE THAT JOE JUST BRUSHED OFF TALKING ABOUT IT AT ALL 😭 JOE TO HAVE THOSE THINGS. PEOPLE HAVE TO WORK AT THEM. ARE ALL THE PEOPLE IN TINY TOWN JUST WORKING ON PUSHING BUTTONS??? JOE PLS

“Expecting handouts from the bloody giants…” sooo fascinating to hear him voice this, since this whole project is a handout in the absolute best case scenario (given that scraps are worthless to giants), although likely closer to a prison, as Professor Hill called it. Still patiently waiting for his smart and cool wife to explain things to me <3

I hope Joe will deign to really talk about what happened to him… GURL go process it with ur beautiful best friend!! Let him hold you and comfort you and tell you you’re literally so smart and correct and everything you’re saying about ditching the buttons part entirely is literally so beautiful and true!!! Go rock his world with your insights king!!!

Also lmfao Joe is definitely not Irish bcuz his Irish Goodbyes need some SERIOUS work. King of just literally running off when he’s not feeling a conversation anymore.

Me 🤝Joe <- autistically just leaving

He does this so often and it makes me cackle every time. Wait hold on those great meme posts make me want to make a JUST WALK OUT! One.

Absolutely loving the tension of it all… the reveal that Joe was doing watchmaking when he was TWELVE, meaning (if I'm keeping track of time correctly) he got snatched right after he was ABANDONED BY HIS ONLY FAMILY IN THE WORLD, was so artfully done. I had to stop in my tracks and think at the “he’d known O’Grady longer in his life than he hadn’t” and do math and be like “oh fuck.” Maybe this was teased prior and I didn’t pick up on it, but it hit HARD. For some reason I hadn’t assumed he was a kid — but why wouldn’t he be? If little kids are already doing things like crawling into discarded beer bottles. Fuck, Warren, heartbreaking stuff. Bravo. Of course Joe would be as dedicated to going and seeing him as he was Harry in the hospital. He cares so deeply about everyone, but especially his friends. It’s too bad O’Grady is no longer in a place to reciprocate the love Joe gives !!! But of course Joe still would not be ready to throw away the boot knife O’Grady made for him… “a decision that would forever change Joe’s life” btw I can hear ur evil hehe from here. :)

Also btw THIS little detail is one of those things that makes rereading your story so delightful: “They invade our end of the city, take our jobs, show up at our bar… did we invite them? No.” O’Grady was practically ranting. “And when we politely tell them to leave, what do they do?” O’Grady pointed to his bandaged head. “Watch out for them once you get here. They’re not good Irishmen like you and me, Joe.” juxtaposed with the actual breaking news we heard from the radio ? "“AN IRISHMAN AND AN ITALIAN ARE IN THE HOSPITAL AFTER A MASS BRAWL OUTSIDE A BAR ENDED IN A CRACKED SKULL AND A STABBING. NEITHER OF ‘EM HAVE BEEN IDENTIFIED YET.”" a fucking STABBING = "politely tell them to leave"? What kinds of things has Joe's friend gotten used to excusing?

And of course I love the moments of solidarity within the tragedy of the newly realized (or at least newly stoked) xenophobia between borrowers. Joe being reminded of how his parents spoke, and how his brother shooed him off, in the gestures of a stranger… you really do a great job of evoking the ways we are all connected to each other. His family is gone, but he still sees them everywhere he looks. [pacing my enclosure and being sooo normal about how Joe has purposefully isolated for a decade and yet cannot help but see the beauty and humanity of his fellow man whether tiny or giant bcuz despite thinking he’s wired wrong, he’s actually wired like all of us who have felt that way for our unusual proclivities. He’s wired for connection with his fellow man. And he’s so wired for it u can feel how much it hurts his heart. Haha I’m sooooo .] The older guy was trying to warn him off crossing a white line into the “Irish ward”, too, right? The gesture was a kindness. And speaking of, does that mean the little tunnel somebody dug is to the Irish district? Or was I turned around and it was the Italian one? Either way — who would be trying to get in here, and why? Maybe it’s just a desperate person, but O’Grady talking about how bad it’d be if they saw Joe, and the need for an ID, makes me think it’s not someplace you can sneak into and integrate with. Just makes me curious as to whether it’ll come up again!!

THIS is also something I'm wondering about -- could the 'output' of Tiny Town maybe be researching, like... ethnonationalism? In the wake of WWI? Those drawn lines separating different 'wards'... do we think Tinies came up with this shit on their own? I doubt it, if someone like Dawson who is immediately assigning people nationalities that we know from Calloway's nobody "normal" in borrower society knows/cares about. HMMMmmmmMMMMM. I'm still reaaaaally curious how much Hill knows about this place and what hand, if any, he had in it. ONCE AGAIN, boys get kissing so you can also get TALKING. I think Harry would have much to say about how pointless it is to hate individuals from other nationalities after everything he saw during the war. Or so I assume, given he had no bad reaction to Joe being Italian.

AND WELL THIS IS LESS THEORYCRAFTING AND MORE “ME WANTING TO WRITE MORE FANFIC ABOUT THEM” BUT I WAS SOOO DELIGHTED THE CHAPTER DIDN’T END WITH HIM LEAVING TINY TOWN AND WE INSTEAD GOT DRESS REHEARSAL 2 OF HARRY AND JOE GETTING SO FUCKING DOWN BAD FOR EACH OTHER AT THE WINDOW & IN THE BEDROOM. YIPPEEEEE <- this was written before ch22 lol pictures taken moments before disaster

“Joe fidgeted for a moment as he fought with himself over whether or not to say what he really wanted to say.” … did you say what you really wanted to, there, pal? 🤨

I'm sooooo glad Joe's books are making more and more appearances... much like Harry I'm endlessly delighted by his culture. I wanna know what shaped his romantic fantasies!!

""Yeah, the ending on this one isn't great. They're cowards. Could've at least said they loved each other." Joe said.

He closed the book and snuggled into the crook of Harry's neck." <- Lmao @ these two guys so allergic to talking about their feelings shit-talking the romance book protagonists while they're literally cuddling in bed and not acknowledging it

Did he own these books when he was a kid? I imagine so, but on the other hand? HEY HOLY SHIT I REALIZED AFTER CH23 SOMETHING I SUSPECTED BUT COULDN'T CONFIRM: if homophobia isn't something borrowers have. Is one of these romance novels Joe owns going to be between two men? Harry is going to get his fuckin world rocked. Him and Georgie stole books from the library before, but I doubt they found any gay romance stuff (still impossible for baby-gay-Gnash to find that almost 100 years later in their rural libraries, lol.) Would this be Harry's first exposure to something like that? Wahhh... hurry up and open up to each other again you need to talk culture ASAP...

I'm also very curious if borrowers would have more taboo novels of their own, particularly giant/tiny stuff. And would Joe have come across any of it? I imagine it'd be extremely difficult to sell things like that without a beating, but maybe in bigger night markets -- and Joe said he's been in lots of very big cities... if his third novel is some really salacious g/t writing that would do numbers here on tumblr dot com I'm going to lose my god damn mind.

[burnt-scone]

Oh no, seeing the traumatized and injured people of Gaza makes you uncomfy?

We can't have almost 60, if not more, family trees being wiped from existence, making you uncomfortable. No, we can't have that. Those bloodlines, generations burned off the face of the planet, how rude of of people lifting their voices, because you feel bad.

Here, let me fluff your pillows in your nice, warm, and safe bed. Do you need a snack, a glass of clean water. Poor you. You must be so uncomfortable hearing about all those people who are now the last person in their family, the last person who lived on their block. The children, all alone, hurt and scared. They understand horrors you couldn't even handle the sight of through a screen. Must be so upsetting to look that 6 year old in the eye as all he wants is his mommy and daddy back.

Poor fucking you. I hope you're uncomfortable. That's a good thing. That's that crumb of empathy deep down in your empty soul. It hurts for the people in Gaza even though you don't want to because you ride the dicks of propaganda. You fear picking up a fucking history book.

And no, it's not antisemitic to be against a corrupt government funded by other historically corrupt governments. It's not antisemitic to be against Genocides. Stop trying to weaponize morality.

"Oh, (Palestinians) are everything anti-(Jews/Israel), we should get rid of them. They're not even human. In the name of G/d, we should eradicate them. They brought it on themselves."

Now, isn't that argument familiar? Replace "Palestinians" with "Jew" and "Jews/Israel" with Germany or literally Europe. That was the argument Hitler made. He convinced Germany and the church to start the Holocaust. He claimed Jewish people were corrupting Germany and the Christian way of life. They were causing the stock market to crash, and they caused the Great Depression.

Obviously, that was wrong. It was obviously excuses to commit ethnic cleansing and Genocide. And that's what's happening now in Palestine.

Hamas is not in the West Bank, which is fact, but that isn't stopping Israel from murdering thousands. Every heinous air strike on a school or hospital that try and say "Oh their were like 5 members of Hamas on the roof."

Bullshit. You don't need an airstrike on a few guys on the roof of a hospital. Especially if you aimed for the lower levels of the building.

I am Jewish, and I am not antisemitic. I do not see this as a Judaism vs. Islam situation. This is a corrupt power-hungry colonies government vs. innocent people.

We were not supposed to even be settled there yet. No messiah = no return to Jerusalem. This is just a fight over power and land, and I'm tired of the excuses being "Jews," "Judaism," "Jerusalem," "Judea," "Antisemitic," etc... because that's a stupid and horrible excuse.

How often throughout history has religion and culture been the excuse to try and kill us, to keep us in ghettos, to make us carry identification to show we are Jewish. Do you not realize Israel turned around and did the same thing to Palestinians? Before and after WW1, Jewish people lived peacefully in Palestine alongside Islamic peoples and Christian peoples. During WW2, Palestine protected Jewish people. But then, after everything England and the Israeli Colony pushed 20,000 Palestinian peoples into a tiny space (basically a fucking Ghetto) and to enter Israel they have to carry papers and Identification to show they are Palestinians.

I don't understand how people don't see the sad irony in all of this. It's heartbreaking. And I'm so tired of excuses.

Those children didn't provoke anything, it is Palestinian's home, it was colonization, and it's not religious or civilians' fault. It is those in power, it's those with too much power, too many funds, and too many weapons.

Free Palestine, free the children before there are none.

[sicklyseraphnsuch]

RotG and HiJack Recs

Alright, I'm building this list because some of these fics are just a tad dusty, and they could use more love. (A lot more love, I am literally dying from how much I adored these.) But note that a good few are incomplete.

Let's start with:

INCOMPLETE FICS

The Long Road:

Presently Gen, but Hiccup very much falls for Jack. He does however retain his feelings for Astrid, so bear that in mind. There's the classic Viking mindset when it comes to homosexual relationships that's pretty much giving Hiccup like a lot of anxiety.

But beyond that! I cannot shower this fic with enough praises! It gives me the same sort of excitement that the RotG movie does. Jack's characterization is Spot On. He's friendly and outgoing and also incredibly secretive and flighty. It balances out Jack's blunt mannerisms with a joyous charm and just that hint of vulnerability (which he keeps so well hidden lol).

The plots take place after HttyD, during the Riders of Berk TV series. Jack is folded into the Dragon Rider group who considers him some kind of Elf. Yes, this is Jack Frost in all his frosty glory. The way the story builds on a solid foundation of camaraderie and friendship, giving plenty of scenes to show how Hiccup and Jack became great friends, lends well to the Hiccup's realization of: "Oh I'm into him". Without giving too many spoilers, that "oh" moment is forever ingrained into my memory because of how PERFECTLY timed it is.

This blends Guardians of Childhood book verse with HttyD book verse, mostly via cameos over lore. Overall, a beautiful, fun, and simply enchanting read. I cannot recommend this enough.

A Story about Ice, Dragon Fire, and Belief:

Another gen fic. Mostly, it's about North looking at Jack and going, "he's my son now", and Jack having absolutely none of it. When placed together with Stoik and Hiccup's relationship, it becomes an almost interesting study of contrasts. North is the guy who's trying to prove something to a boy that he disappointed. Hiccup is the guy who's trying to prove something to a man that he disappointed. But ultimately, it ends up the same with a schism forming between the two pairs the harder one of them tries to breach it.

Also, it talks about how Jack is a force of fucking nature? And his blizzards can kill and have killed in the past? There's a little bit of trying to reconcile that with his new ID as a guardian. North is not doing a great job helping here.

But really the Crown Jewel of this fic is North and Berk's reactions to North (and by proxy his relationship to Jack). We go a little into the historical Viking side of things (like the pillaging et al), and apply that lens to this jolly old man. Let's just say some troubling (hilarious) assumptions are drawn. Also...

Everyone loves the sleigh.

I think this is one of the few RotG and HttyD crossovers that really do a good job of merging the two movies. Primarily because it's not just Jack in Berk. And this just made me hungry for more fics where more of the RotG cast arrive as Berk, and be just 100% fantastical and strange as the bedtime stories they are. Put some respect on the Guardians name, if you know what I'm saying.

In the Shadows of My Mind:

This one is an RotG only fic. No pairings except for whatever's going on between Pitch and Nightlight (and by proxy Jack). It's not a for real pairing. That said, it's such a complex and intricate relationship that doesn't resemble a romance but remains markedly intimate. Basically, this fic takes advantage of Pitch and Nightlight's ridiculously long history then throws Jack into the mix. Alive, human Jack in an early 18th century colonial town wherein he very recently did not drown (and boy, isn't that suspicious?)

My favorite thing about this fic is how spot on the dialogue feels? The lexicon, the syntax feels true to the time its set in. Although, I can't say that it is accurate as I'm not an expert of this time period in this region. Regardless, it certainly appears that a good stack of research went into this.

All that said, this fic has captured Bill Joyce's writing style the best, but with a deeper, more complex, more mature layer underpining that bedtime like vibe. There's a good host of OCs but genuinely, I didn't notice them as OCs. I could really believe they were characters of Joyce's books. Not to mention, they feel like fully fleshed out individuals even if they have like maybe two paragraphs of screentime.

The entire premise hinges on the idea of "what if Jack survived the skating accident" and everyone's reactions to that, as well as... the hidden secret thing that involves Nightlight. GoC spoilers are hinted so beware. But the little interplay between Nightlight and Jack is such a delicious little mystery, and also makes me so sad. These two boys deserved better.

Then we throw in Pitch for fun, because Pitch is always fun, and he just makes the whole thing even more complicated or as Jack calls it, "unnatural". But he's not even the main villain. It's Christianity. JK. That said, the fic does explore the idea of well, how would a fairly backwater colony be able to explain how Jack survived or... the powers that's slowly revealing itself from within him. There's a particularly nasty boy (around Jack's age), who is an OC and I believe an exceptionally well placed one. The OC understood his role to play and he plays it fantastically. Everytime he shows up, I too feel scared and indignant and excited all at once.

Speaking of great OCs, shoutout to Jack's Da. His appearances are brief but the impact is maximized with each appearance. He has that sense of realism and whimsy baked into him that I could gush endlessly about.

Overall, just a pure delight to read. Will re-read again and again.

Zastruga:

Total Gen fic. And a classic in my opinion.

I started reading this when I was in college - note the publish date. Nevermind the update date. Because even after all these years, this story? Still good. Still very very good.

This takes the original RotG plot and makes it more epic, and also more sad. RotG was very joyful at its core, which this fic somehow manages to retain. But it's just under a layer of sad. It's not overwhelming angst though, just enough to really pinch your heart.

Also whereas the movie has a few epic battles before things go really wrong, this fic stretches that out into a proper war against Pitch (and Jack). That's right. Jack is with Pitch ala Mother Gothel/Judge Frollo style. Jack isn't locked up entirely. He's given just enough rope to hang himself with. Mind the Jack whump is what I'm saying. But also do note that Jack's character remains as steadfast and loyal as he ever was in RotG, so the whump just hits nicer since this Jack isn't so irrevocably changed.

I have re-read this before. I will re-read this again. Nevermind the incomplete status. There's plenty of chapters that simply give me great joy.

COMPLETE FICS

It's the Great Spirit Sleigh, Hiccup Haddock:

Gen fic, in that there's no pairing actively getting together. But remains faithful to the original canon's hinted love interests. So Hiccup has a big crush on Astrid and Jack leans towards Tooth. That said, the relationship between Hiccup and Jack is just plain adorable and also heart-wrenching. They care about each other. So Much.

Now this is just a good holiday cheer. It literally has the Hallmark movie template, which is the point really. You know, the whole "oh no, a holiday is ruined" followed by "clever and charming ways to fix the holiday". With Hiccup and Jack taking the starring roles.

If you know your Hallmark movies, then you know that the leads get together in the end. And they don't in this fic. But the amount of "Gosh do I care about you" is so good. It's a lot of hurt and a lot of comfort. And I am here for it.

Also, this fic was completed way before the HttyD 3 movie so it doesn't have a canon compliant ending. That may be a bonus for some of you.

Scary Monsters and Super Creeps:

Pre JackRabbit (Bunny/Jack). But honestly the pairing isn't the main focus, mostly that Jack and Bunny admit to liking each other (but not to each other). So their dynamic remains in the best bros category. The pairing mostly shows through the plot machinations.

So long story short, Pitch opens the Guardian-Verse and recruits the other versions of the Guardians - the corrupt versions. And it's good, action/adventure fun. There's some gore, so mind that. Because the corrupt versions are nasty little things that fight dirty. Which makes the action feel like there's legit stakes. Also makes for a quick read because you must know what happens next? Did they get out of this sticky situation? Are they going to be okay? That sort of thing.

[megabuild]

what is aoyuer? is that an acronym for something?

okay so i meant to make a big doc explaining what aoyuer is like months ago but then i started working on different projects and put it on the back burner.. and then i got ill and now i don't have much time to work on stuff at all. but not having the doc sucks and means anything i ever say about it is very confusing. so i'm so sorry anon for using your ask as an excuse to just dump as much aoyuer lore as i can without reasonably spoiling it but also thanks for reminding me that i have a lot of followers here who have never heard of it. a sobering thought

tldr; aoyuer (as of yet untitled empires rewrite) (sorry bree) is my au rewrite of empires smp that aims to connect seasons 1 and 2 as well as after life, new life, and a bunch more inbetween, with a major focus on pixlriffs' story. it also ties up a lot of loose ends and is generally darker and more adult-aimed than the original series. technically that's all you need to know but here's the no spoilers plot rundown for those interested

so aoyuer is built up of ~7 arcs but only 4 of them are like Super important

arc 0: this is just afterlife smp and a ton of early worldbuilding, the crash of the great stags, etc; what's most important from this is that oli exists and has for thousands of years, probably

arc 1: empires season 1! set in the 1500s, the world is going through a sort of renaissance period with massive technological advancements. pixlriffs the copper king (cprk) is working a boring little library job and spending most of his time kicking himself and being mad he hasn't done anything with his life (he is only like 30 but the idea of feeling old and unaccomplished even when you're young is a major theme for arc 1). enter fwhip! who is his annoying ex-roommate ex-bestie ex-boyfriend from university that left him on pretty bad terms. he has a way more accomplished job and as part of that he has been allowed to head The Empires Project which is a major journey intended to further some distant colonies while also investigating the land they're on. the land has some weiiird properties which fwhip thinks could be harnessed to create functional immortality (which was the subject of pix's thesis). he wants pix to come with him and investigate. pix feels weird about it but agrees to come along and be the "emperor" for the desert colony while he does his research... and then things get fucked up and scary! its a high fantasy that switches between a metaphorical dissection of their horrid will they won't they relationship and both of their issues aaand a more Literal dissection of the land and things living in it. including people and animals. at times. and also involves pix accidentally awakening a curse for a billion million years which sets the rest of aoyuer in motion.

arc 1.5 is sort of Not important but iwlike it a lot. there's not much to be said for it without major spoilers but it's set a little bit after arc 1 and comprises of fwhip being very upset about how his stupid project fell apart and trying to write up an Official Report on why everything fell apart while also coming to terms with him being the worst guy to ever have lived or something. much of aoyuer is like thinly veiled metaphors for mental illness but this one is just about mental illness

arc 2 sends us years forward into season 2 in the 1800s and our protagonist is professor pixelle riffs, lorekeeper (lrkp) who leaves his job as an archaeology lecturer to go and study the ancient capital and The Machiiine. because the machine set up WAY too much cool stuff to just ignore. sculk infection/possession is a big part of this arc. however while he's doing all this he meets oli! remember him? who has crash landed in S2 (basically the same way he did in canon) and is now regularly butting heads with pix. they eventually become friends and then umm something more :3 a lot of this remains the same as canon except the sculk arc gets a proper conclusion and ties into the ghost stuff. it ends with oli's finale where he still fakes his death (the goblin stuff is going to be changed but it's up in the air right now) and pix is devastated but pretty certain there's something not quite right so he picks greggory up and goes off in search of his lame ass boyfriend.

arc 2.5 actually takes place mid arc 2 because it's the hermpires crossover, which is less different dimensions and more different times (hermitcraft is our present and the rift facilitates time travel). when pixelle the archaeologist steps through the rift it causes serious time fuckery and so he sort of gets. forcefully ejected from his body and becomes a ghost possessing pixl riffs of the hermitcraft recap (rcp) who stumbles out of the rift very tired and very confused! there's a lot of fun mistaken identity stuff between him and oli and this is generally the most like. comedic and casual of the arcs though it still has some sweet moments.

arc 3 is just new life smp. where pixelle finally ends up in nl, finds that his lame ass boyfriend is still alive, and has relationship drama with him Except on top of that the land that new life is set on has similar properties to the land from arc 1 (functional immortality except it has some different effects, aka. going through drastic physical changes every time you "die") and so pixelle starts investigating that and maybe finds out that his whole life and his ancestors and descendants lives might be caught up in a time loop because of the copper king. forever and ever. this hasn't got much for it because i was going to work from new life canon as a base but then both pix and oli stopped playing on it LMFOHALDH but anyway.

aaand arc 4! final arc! which is set in the present right after pixl (the recap one) returns home from the hermitpires crossover. except the weird ghost voice of his ancestor in his head.. isn't going away? or rather its been replaced by a different one who is sending him on The Heros Journey. along with zloy and lyarrah and modern fwhip. this is basically the long awaited Conclusion to the curse that the copper king put in place and a lot of bullshit happens that icant really explain but it ties up all the loose ends and is generally just pix consistently having the worst time. hes the only pix who goes through hell without bringing it upon himself like he was just born.

and um. that's aoyuer! obviously there's more for all the arcs and i am happy to answer Basically any questions even though i get a little nervous sharing stuff about it because im shy. But iwhope thag explains at least a bit for everyone. My dream is to write this all into various fanfics but that looks kinda unlikely rn but it means a lot to me and you can kinda safely assume if I'm ever talking about or drawing empires there's a 99% chance it's actually aoyuer because I forget canon exists .AOYUER WORLDWIDE

[franciskirkland]

i saw you say that you’re take on spamano diverts from canon and honestly i’d love to know more about it, i feel like most spamano shippers do this and i love hearing all takes because i feel like they’re all interesting! and i love them so so much!! do you have any hc’s that you think are unpopular with the fandom?? or do you like they way spamano is represented for the most part??

Hi! Thanks so much for the ask 💕 If you're the same anon who sent the last one I'm working on it. To answer honestly, I don't interact with Spamano fanwork enough to know what is and isn't popular or accepted as fanon these days.

But I'll hesitantly say that no, I think my views on this ship differ from that of the fandom status quo, as they usually do. I don't say this for the sake of being edgy or a need to always play contrarian, but bc I have a unique perspective.

Disclaimer; long post ahead. my opinion was asked for and you're about to receive it. Everything stated is opinion and I'm not discrediting alternate headcanons.

So I'll start by saying I'm not an expert on Spain's history or characterization. I have mentioned this before but the way Himaruya chose to portray him is a bit odd to me. Then again, Hetalia nations aren't really direct representations of their government, but instead stereotypes of their people. If everyone was accurate they'd all be unsympathetic assholes.

Spain as an empire was once a ruthless colonial force, and as a nation in more recent centuries they have a history of fascist rule, violent uprising and general civil discord.

Spain as a character is a sunny, bubbly himbo after he lost his reputation as a global power. I think he has a tendency to downplay the harm he's caused in the past and manipulate others into viewing him as a shiny happy goofy airhead.

Don't get me wrong, I think Antonio is adorable. He's cute, right? Dude's main personality trait is having a GREAT ASS 🍑 and liking tomates 🍅 He loves to cook and dance and do fuck all. The Hetalia wiki describes him as a, quote, 'cheerful country bumpkin' and honestly, let's go with that for the sake of his personhood?

This is why I like human AU. I enjoy reading historical Hetalia, but writing it isn't for me. As a creative, I don't want to operate within the limits of real world events and not gonna lie I prefer writing them as people!! And that's where I exercise some divergence from canon.

So obviously there's the dynamic of boss and his underling that existed when Romano was young. We can't entirely ignore that that arc exists and is part of his character development, but when Romano grows up I don't see them that way, and there's no denying their romantic potential.

I hear, and understand the common criticisms of Spamano. I don't view them as related, and Romano is not Spain's territory anymore. To me it's fair game. Hetalia is complicated bc well... these nation-beings are hundreds of years old, therefore the case for morality in shipping isn't black and white.

Personally I don't believe any ship is 'too problematic' to exist. I'm of the opinion that we can explore just about any dynamic in fiction as long as we do it mindfully. I'm a multishipper, these characters are all so versatile.

This might sound silly to say about an anime character but my analysis of Romano's personality is more in depth. As someone of Italian descent I recognize his stereotypical traits; and feel pretty strongly about his mischaracterization.

For one, he has a small dog Napoleon complex and that's a big thing for Italian guys (more on that later)

In canon (i.e. world history and Hetalia itself) when Romano was young, Spain did spend a lot of money protecting and defending him. Now as an adult he feels guilty, like he has an obligation to him, and he doesn't want to be seen as weak, reliant or incapable ever again. I don't think he'd allow himself to be dominated, in any way, or even want to be.

Here's an unpopular opinion; he is very masculine, but I think people have a hard time comprehending what constitutes masculinity.

And I'm not saying Antonio is therefore feminine. They're both cis men to me, and switch in the bedroom, but I will admit I prefer Lovino as the generally more dominant partner - in a physical and hierarchical sense.

Ultimately I don't think they box themselves into heteronormative roles all too much. Maybe for funsies, because Lovino likes feeling needed and Antonio to me doesn't have the discipline it takes to wear the proverbial pants in the relationship.

In a comic strip, Spain proposed to Romano when same-sex marriage became legal, and he basically said yes as long as you cook for me?? They're husbands!! It's canon 😎

It's a bit hard to explain, but in my perspective, Lovino would protect and cherish Antonio like a man would his 'wife'. He's his Carino. His Tesoro. His Amorino. Toni might be taller than him, but he's always talking to him like a child - mostly affectionately, but we've seen otherwise.

One of my favourite Romano lines is from the April Fools episode, "No talking to me when you look stupid", that to me is a defining moment of their relationship 💖💖💖

So anyway, this attitude of his brings me to the topic of Maschismo. If you're not familiar with that term, it's a performative, arrogant, and fragile brand of toxic masculinity that's prevalent in men of Mediterranean and Latin American descent. Any man can be machismo but the term is associated with these cultures.

(Again I'm of Mediterranean descent, I have lived experience with this, please don't think I'm racist and if that's legitimately your takeaway you have the reading comprehension of a sea cucumber)

In machismo society, men are discouraged from showing any emotion except anger. They're expected to be strong, and are extremely affected by any implication of personal failure, or threat to their (imagined) role as top dog. When something upsets them, aggression is the default response.

Men affected by machismo are often possessive, competitive, and motivated by material success; because there's an expectation to provide for - and honor - your family. They will often talk over women, objectify or ignore them completely, like second class citizens.

Whether this was a conscious intention or not, Hima actually does a great job at displaying Romano as a machismo poster boy. He's simultaneously expressive and repressed. He's stubborn, defensive and argumentative, and if that doesn't say Italian dad to you then you're probably a WASP /hj

What the fandom might see as a little tsundere uke, I see as machismo tough guy. He's not soft, that's the thing, but he deserves space to be soft because so does everyone. Maybe Antonio does bring that out in him. But it's not easy and it's not for anyone else to see. He pretends to hate when Toni calls him cute because he doesn't allow himself to feel appreciated on that level. He actually has a deep, unspoken respect for Antonio. It's just easier to tease him.

And he actually does care. He just does it in a way that isn't instantly recognisable as caring because it's not 'gentle'. He's jealous of Feliciano because he's the 'nice' brother. He's concerned for Feli when others mistreat him. That concern and protectiveness translates into condescension and ironically, distancing.

Sorry for going so in depth on what is essentially old man land mass yaoi, if you've read this far thank you and congratulations I guess.

[oneatlatime]

The Waterbending Master

Finally! Only took the whole season to find one.

This one apparently also has commentary. I'll leave it off for now.

After countless episodes without, we finally have another hybrid animal. Behold:

A koala Sea-otter? That makes noises like a Raven. Alright.

Sokka saying "I'm not one to complain" is a) pretty damning evidence of his amount of self-awareness b) self-deprecating sarcasm c) a funny line that I'm reading too deeply into

Why is Appa flying so low anyway?

Subtle signs that these guys are way too used to relying on bending: -no railings -no alternate propulsion source (seriously, not even an oar?) -no emergency supplies in case a trip runs long (I don't even see an emergency sandwich, and come on guys, it's not like waterbending controls the weather)

Random pinball bumper style ice stabbies does seem like a good defense though.

Not so subtle exposition dump from Zhao the asshole. Avatar writers are usually better at integrating catch-up dialogue. Looks like Aang will be arriving just in time to defend the Water tribe from the invasion that, ironically, he summoned. Talk about self-inflicted problems. Do you think if Aang had found a waterbending teacher somewhere else, the Fire Nation would have left the water tribe alone for another hundred years? Aang's been learning on the run; they could have picked up a single waterbender and hightailed it back to some cave in the earth kingdom to learn there. Or the water tribe could have sent a waterbender out to find the gaang as soon as rumours of the avatar reached them. See? This was avoidable.

Always love me some sea-bison.

They have bending doors like Omashu. Actually is this a door or a lock? I think the water level is changing.

Is this a hybrid animal? The yak thing, not the two legger.

Last time you got a hero's welcome, Suki's village burnt down. Foreshadowing?

How often does this lady see sea-bisons? She just passed by one and didn't even bat an eye. Is there a secret sea-bison colony that's spent the last 100 years hiding from the fire nation in the north pole?

Music Night! Need a better lyricist.

What's going on here? Did they roast a giant turtle thing and now they're cooling it to serve by dunking it in water? Did they feel the need for a steam effect for the guy's speech so they heated up a giant thingy and dunked it in water? Is it a weird boat thing? It looks like it has a face. I bet it's a ritual object.

Are these pot stacks the water tribe version of Totem Poles?

Oh nuh uh. Nope. 16 is way too young to marry.

This girl is so into him I can feel it through the screen, the dvd player, and the 15+ years since this aired.

Even the head guy's like "yeah, he's an asshole, What can you do?" Let's put this asshole and Zhao the asshole in a room together. They can out-asshole each other. Should be fun.

Remember back in episode three when I said that Zuko needed to learn how to lie? This is why.

Nevermind, we don't need to put Zhao and Paku in a room together to out-asshole each other. Paku wins. As far as I've seen, bending is not gender specific, either in who gets it or how it's taught/used. What kind of idiot would tell someone born with the ability to wield an incredible weapon that, actually, they aren't allowed to? How did this attitude get instilled in the first place? Why didn't the first guy who ever said this get slashed to death by ice stabbies thrown by the ten nearest female benders? Are these northern water tribe people so unbothered by the war that they can afford to sideline 50% of their forces? More than sideline, render incapable of defending themselves or others? Obviously this tribe is far too privileged if they can afford this attitude. And also far too bored. I guess hiding behind that giant ice wall for 100 years left them so understimulated that they turned on themselves.

Bad attitude? Fucking bad attitude!?! There's only one guy in this episode with a bad attitude and it isn't Katara. Zhao looks downright pleasant compared to this Paku guy.

Question for Paku: why would the Northern Water Tribe's rules apply to a Southern Water Tribe member?

My god these two are so cute. Sokka could propose they disembowel whale carcasses for their activity and the princess would say yes.

So the parrot lizard did survive the fall over the waterfall.

They're little tiny children. Katara, who has spent her whole life wanting to learn to bend to fight, has literally been shoved back into the igloo with a bunch of babies to learn lady-bending (no offence to the babies). How how HOW is she so calm right now? If I were in her situation, I think I'd be so angry I'd be ugly crying. And also plotting how to murder that Paku guy.

WHAT.

Paku the asshole is apparently a proponent of the tell don't show philosophy of teaching. The Tell-while-doing-unspeakable-things-to-my-lunch don't show philosophy.

Unexpected backstory. This lady must have been pretty close to Gran Gran if she recognises a carving she presumably wore for maybe a few months about 50 years ago or more. Also this lady is shockingly dumb if she can't see why Gran Gran left this misogynistic hellhole, but I guess it can be hard to see it while you're in it.

Nitpick time: How does the teacher recognise this? Isn't this just the water tribe symbol? Probably the most common symbol in the whole north pole?

Nosferatu Zuko. Nosferzuko. Zukoratu? Iroh's pause here was so long that I checked in case I had muted by accident. And how does your crew being taken by Zhao the asshole make your crew traitors Zuko? Orders are orders.

So we're adding asassinating royals to our list of reasons Zhao is an asshole. I think he's won the title back from Paku.

Fuck this port I guess.

Zuko's dead. Huh. Bye then. Gotta say I don't get why he's so big in the fandom.

This princess sure does send some mixed messages. At least she didn't ghost him.

"Master Poophead." My God. It's perfect. Why didn't I think of that?

Aang passing on what he learns to Katara. Why didn't I think of that either? My plan was to get Katara to launch unprovoked attacks on Paku's students and study how they defend themselves until she can copy / surpass them. Mostly so I could watch Katara beat the crap out of sexists.

Die mad about it you troglodyte. Disrespect? How nice it must be to have enough of your culture left that it can be disrespected. And you're going to deny the avatar training, thus dooming the whole world to death via fire nation, because you're butthurt? Freakin manbaby.

YES! YES! BEAT HIS ASS! PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE!!!!!!

"I know. I don't care." + "I'm not doing it for you." = I'm officially in love with Katara. I took a while to warm up to her, I admit the first few episodes were a little rough, but this seals the deal.

This screenshot sparks joy. Last episode Aang bitchslapped a fire nation guy with air. This episode it's Katara's turn with water. The Firelord Uber-Bitchslapped Zuko with fire a few years ago. All I need is an earth bitchslap and my collection will be complete. Avatar: master of all four bitchslaps. Also this wouldn't have worked to goad Paku into fighting if he was half as mature as he thinks he is. Although he gets points for being harder to goad than Zhao in the Deserter.

In an episode where the A plot is Katara, the B plot is Aang, the C plot is Zuko, and the D plot is Sokka's love life, the writers still manage to fulfill the Beat up Sokka quota. Good job guys.

If only she'd aimed a couple of inches to the left. This show already includes a kid getting his face burned off. Surely a Poophead being separated from his nose is ok?

That's twice now she's lost her necklace. If the carving has lasted 50+ years, surely it's earned a metal chain rather than a hair ribbon?

Gran Gran! Bullet dodged! Excellent call!

That's a lot less beat up than I was expecting. And Iroh has never once given the impression that he isn't quietly ride or die for Zuko, so why would Zuko not expect Iroh to help him? Because Zuko isn't terribly perceptive? Because the writers needed a way to deliver yet more exposition?

I did notice that the healing lady specified that Gran gran was in an arranged marriage but Poophead was talking about love. Again, why was Gran Gran leaving a mystery?

Underrated moment of wisdom from Aang here. He gets why the princess is upset and he's twelve! But I'd bet good money that the idiot on the right has no clue what's going on.

Princess ran so far away that it's night time now. This episode is not subtle anywhere, so I figured that the princess being engaged was the cause of this whole blowing hot and cold thing. Despite being 16 and fictional, Sokka handles mixed signals and rejection with 10000% more maturity and kindness than many unfortunately non-fictional grown men I've met. Kudos to Sokka for being honest and respectful.

Even redeemed, Poophead is still an asshole.

Well that's a problem.

Fire Nation ships would be a lot more intimidating if they didn't look like shoes.

Final Thoughts

This episode was a lot of exposition, a lot of set up, and even some catch up. And it was not done as gracefully as this show usually does it. More than once the dialogue between characters felt like two actors lecturing the audience rather than the characters we know.

This episode also had twice the concentration of assholes. A Zhao episode I can deal with. An episode with a one shot asshole where Zhao doesn't appear? I could also deal with. But TWO grade A assholes in ONE episode? No. Too much.

My whole-hearted congratulations to Gran Gran for seeing Poophead for what he was, and refusing to put up with it. Leaving his ass didn't make him get the message. 50+ years alone didn't make him get the message. The granddaughter that ought to have been his being so disgusted by his conduct that she attempts to cut his face off didn't make him get the message. There was no way that this idiot was going to change. So congrats to Gran Gran for making an excellent call, leaving his ass to freeze, and getting two most excellent grandchildren instead.

I also have to applaud Sokka and Katara for not being bitter about the Northern Water Tribe. I can't help but notice the spectacular architecture, complete with embellishments and unnecessary non-structural doodads. Let's do a quick comparison (ignore the ship):

Left has one waterbender. Right has all the waterbenders. We know that Northerners can travel south thanks to Gran Gran. The North couldn't have sent one sneaky waterbender to at least make the south a ship-proof wall? That chief guy has some audacity calling Katara and Sokka their brother and sister or whatever when they've evidently left the south to rot for a century. And I know the Fire Nation, the War, bla bla, but you guys are so bored behind your walls that you're cannibalising your own capabilities based on gender just for fun.

RANT INCOMING

Since I'm on the topic, can we talk about how STOOOPID it is to separate your combatants from your medics? Here's a secret about combat medics: they're both. They learn the basics of combat, and they learn the basics of emergency medicine (And a LOT of other stuff besides). Basic training includes basic first aid for EVERYONE.

Because here's the thing. People who get hurt beating the shit out of other people are usually hurt in an environment where beating the shit out of people occurs. If they are injured enough that they can't get themselves out of the 'beating the shit out of other people' zone, then unless they can treat themselves on the spot or their fellow soldiers can administer first aid or get them out, they die.

Alternatively, if they can't get themselves out of the 'beating the shit out of other people' zone, then medics have to be sent in. A medic who doesn't know how to fight who gets sent into the zone will - guess what? - get the shit beaten out of them. Now you're two men down at present, and who knows how many more you're going to lose over the next few days because you're down a medic. So unless every single waterbending fighter in the Northern water tribe is going to go into combat with a waterbending healer literally attached to them, there will be mountains of unnecessary losses and avoidable injuries.

Now let's look at this from the other angle. What happens if the enemy breaches your defences (because all your defenders are merrily bleeding out from wounds their bending could heal if only they'd learned how) and then makes their way to your combat hospitals? Which are full of soldiers who are too injured to fight and healers who don't know how to defend themselves? Apart from the whole living surrounded by their element thing, waterbenders' greatest advantage in a fight appears (to me) be to be their miraculous healing powers. Katara completely healed her burnt hands to the point where there wasn't even scar tissue and she had no training at all. A skill that can erase burns (the thing firebenders give you) negates the fire nation's greatest weapon - their fire. Any fire nation general who's not an idiot would therefore target waterbending healers, maybe even over waterbending fighters. So any fire nation commander would absolutely put 'capture field hospitals' as one of their top priorities. This is a kids' cartoon, so let's ignore historical precedent as to what happens to nurses caught in field hospitals behind enemy lines and say that the fire nation would defeat the waterbending healers.

Let's paint a quick picture here: in the background, a field full of waterbending fighters sidelined by treatable injury. In the middle ground, an inexorably advancing wall of firebenders. In the foreground, a field hospital full of defenseless waterbending healers. Just peachy isn't it?

How fucking UNSTOPPABLE would a bender able to shrug off a fireball to the face then turn around and take out a firebending platoon be? Get one hundred - no fifty - benders who can both heal and fight, have them advance in two rows: Front row fights, switches with back row when they're injured, gets healed up, rotates back up to front row as a replacement. Functionally unstoppable barring the need to eat and sleep (so long as they bring their own water). The Northern Water Tribe had decades to develop that. Unlike the south, they had the time, the resources, and apparently so little going on that they took up sexism to pass the time. The wasted opportunity here burns. See kids? Sexism hurts the sexists too.

This northern attitude is just dumb. It's illogical. It's stupid. I'd call it a ham-fisted unsubtle after school special of a plotline if it weren't a fictionalised version of something that's literally baked into to many cultures worldwide, past and present.

RANT CONCLUDED

What else can I say about this episode? Aang and Sokka had like three lines each, but they were very in character. Sokka and the princess are cute together. Zuko and Iroh had a good dynamic when they weren't acting in service to exposition. This whole episode really feels like part one of a two parter.

I think something might have been off with the narrative weighting of this episode. There was an honest to god assassination attempt and I forgot.

While the shot of Paku looking put out that the ice disk landed so close to his face was funny, I would have preferred it if Katara had gotten in one hit beyond her bitchslap. Just one. His ego needed the beating which it got via the necklace thing, but I would have liked to see actual beating too.

If I had seen this episode as a child I absolutely would have lost my mind over Katara getting to beat up a sexist. I'd bet good money that this episode did lots of good for the self-esteem of little girls who saw it.

Katara's plot line is like the plot of the Waterbending Scroll episode, but in a positive light. In that episode her selfishness regarding bending got them in trouble; in this one it helped. Seen in that light, the fact that it's the necklace rather than Katara's skill that gets through to Paku is a bit undermining, but if "magical girl has such impressive skills that the sexist dinosaur throws away decades of sexism for the chance to be her teacher" had been the plot instead, I'd probably be complaining about cliches instead.

All in all, a bit clunky, a lot of set up, and too many assholes and frustrating idiocy for it to go on my rewatch list. Feminist beat downs are good for the soul, but I'm not sure they outweigh Poopheads.

[y-rhywbeth2]

Is it ever revealed what Gortash got out of trading Karlach to Zariel? I’d assume it would be related to some sort of mechanical know-how he’s an artificer in my heart even if the game doesn’t really have that class option but also. My hc is that it’s directly related to him becoming Bane’s Chosen. The gods were picking their Chosen around this time, I think, and it would make sense that betraying a subordinate that trusts you with their life to a miserable existence of serving a tyrannical hell queen, in exchange for ambition serving power, would make Bane very happy. I could just be behind on my game lore, but I’m less familiar with how Gortash came around to Bane worship than I am with Durge/Orin (though those are rather obvious) and Ketheric.

Now that I’m typing this, I’m also confused about the mindflayer colony underneath Moonrise. How long has it been there? Did the Dead Three Chosen put it there intentionally, or was it just there and the Dead Three had a lightbulb moment? “Fellas, I know we’ve been plotting this world domination thing, and it’s just occurred to me that Shar has a guy whose house is overrun with Mindflayers. Should I dig him up?” -Myrkul in the groupchat

The fact that the Emperor/Balduran went there and was turned into a mindflayer really really muddies the timeline for me. Honestly, making the Emperor Balduran fucks up a lot of things, lore wise.

I'm pretty sure it's said somewhere that he got the schematics for the infernal engines, such as those in her chest, which he used to build the Steel Watchers. Not sure if that's in my head though. I don't think the game ever mentioned how Gortash converted to Bane, and information we might find on it isn't exactly reliable because the man's autobiographical notes are out of sync with other in-game information we find on the chosen, so anything he says should be taken with a grain of salt as half-truths and self-PR.

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I don't think the colony has been directly under Moonrise for very long, though if you overlaid a map of Faerûn and the Lowerdark they might be in similar spots geographically (10-ish miles away, vertically).

Illithid primarily live in the Lowerdark; 10+ miles beneath the earth in conditions that are utterly inhospitable to most forms of life, including humanoids, half-way into the Shadowfell, in a lot of places, and would largely traumatise you beyond functioning if it didn't kill you. Small outposts occur in the Middledark, 3-10 miles down. You can find illithid in the Upperdark (extending from between the surface and the Middledark), but this region is mostly a trading zone, not really inhabited by the Underdark races in a settlement capacity. It's also the layer from which slave-taking raids are sent, which might account for Balduran. Maybe.

So the illithid colony moving into the Upperdark and building a colony directly under Moonrise is kinda weird. I guess there are some really good sea caves under that building because illithids hate the surface and the sun so much.

In a divine capacity, illithid are Ilsensine's domain, the Dead Three don't have a lot of sway here (and mind flayers don't often go in for religion - especially not for the gods of thralls.) If any of the Three had the idea to use mind flayers though, I'd expect it to be Bane (they're closest to his domain in theme).

I have genuinely no idea what's happening here, I don't think this much thought went into it. I would assume it works like this: Gortash and Durge eventually settled on "mind flayers" during the world domination brainstorming sessions (before or after acquiring the Crown of Karsus, who can say... Who even told them that existed, again? Was it mentioned in some texts somewhere? Were the Dead Three aware of it (Bhaal being Netherse, Bane having worked there)) And then they'd have to go deep beneath the earth - possibly all the way into the Lowerdark - somehow not die to a million hazards, get into an illithid city without dying or being enslaved, and then convince an Elder Brain to join the plan. Then the colony starts climbing upwards, as per the plan, and migrates to the Upperdark under Moonrise. Being situated over the sea, sea caves down there might provide a suitable environment for them (they need damn, dark, briny caves).

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"Suprirse! Balduran is your mind flayer "ally"!" does feel a bit thrown in.

I'm still a bit surprised by the decision to make Balduran an elf, which could be canon to be fair, I've never seen anything on the guy, but I have always pictured him as human considering his namesake city is very much a human Tethyrian/Chondathan settlement. The elves were more populous back then, but the settlement was founded by humans and they very much do dominate and have for a while.

[woodsfae]

B5 s02e22 The Fall of Night table of contents • previous episode

Wow, the season finale of another season! That's 44 episodes and the Gathering in eleven months! Or a year? With the little break I took shortly into season one, and the big break I took in season two, I'm actually surprised that averages out to one every week and a bit. It's been a riot, but I'm beginning to suspect that they aren't going to fight the great war by the end of season two….a few episodes ago Lord Refa told Londo it had been six months since the war with the Narns began, and Sheridan says in the credits it's the year the great war began. So there's another six months to fill before the all-out war begins?

I cannot believe that last episode, Jack the Ripper from 1888 London tortured Delenn half to death. that. That was wild. But it only makes me more stoked to see what they do next, for the season finale! No, really, how are they going to top the whole season so far?

I'm just picturing Bruce Boxleitner sitting in a little set and his plastic helmet acting earnestly into the studio lights for some reason.

Huh, Lennier and Vir have a lot in common. And they meet every to gripe about their ambassadors. So cute. Lennier plus anyone is a winning strategy.

The Centauri arm of colonialism is spreading again, and it's been less than an episode since they took the Narn homeworld! They're doing 90% of the shadows' job for them.

B5, over and over again: "Imperialism is - hey, look at me. Imperialism is bad. Say it with me: "Imperialism is bad." It's not a good thing, only bad."

Hm, Garibaldi's take on Londo that he's holding on for dear life as the situation spins wildly out of control, since he has no fall-back plan or safe harbor that he knows of, gives him more credit than I had been.

There's more sightings of the shadows now, passed off as scary stories pilots tell each other half joking, half warning.

EarthCorps is here to meddle and get direct reports from their fashy spies.

There's pilot elitism!

"A spider big as death and twice as ugly. When it flies past, it's like you hear a scream in your mind. I saw it too."

They really must exude a visceral wrongness. Natural, or cultivated? Lt Keffer (?) is a little batshit to want to find one again. But all pilots are a little nuts (I say as someone about halfway to a pilot's license)

Hm, Ivanova sort of gets along with this EarthForce guy. Or she's charming him on purpose? She's usually blunt or bluntly professional.

A Narn war cruiser survived! Help them, Sheridan! It'll flare tensions like crazy, bring war to Babylon 5 almost certainly. But it's also the right thing to do.

Hm, the other Earthforce guy is also making an effort to get along with Ivanova. Deal with the devil shit. Join our political faction and add your rising star of influence to our cause. And oh, also spy for us and send us information on everything and everyone on B5.

Ivanova gives an excellent, very civil smack-down. Booo fascist faction in the already fascist government.

Lovely. A meeting of everyone who signed up to be spies, and they all get grilled and criticized in front of each other about the quality and quantity of the information they reported. And there are informants who inform on the informants. This isn't concerning at all.

Wasn't Lt Keffer banned from going out and doing sweeps looking for the shadows in hyperspace? This man cannot be stopped by mere orders.

Going by EarthForce Guy's mien, Earth isn't interested in supporting the Narn. Lame. And an Earth-Centauri Alliance! Terrible! Typical!

"A non-aggressive treaty with the Centauri? That's like trying to make nice with a piranha."

A great simile, Sheridan. And awww, he's having baby's first shame over one's totalitarian and morally bankrupt government.

Sheridan and Ivanova's relationship warms me heart. She got him a piece of the Black Star, the Minbari warcruiser which he defeated, to remind him that the impossible is within reach.

Way too many fucking spies on this station. Earth Force does not need to find things out this quickly, and it's disastrous that the Centauri have.

Yeah, go Sheridan! EarchForce is going to be PISSED, but he's defending B5 space. It can't be a neutral station if they bow to whomever shows up with a big warship. Plus, he's the Captain, and he hasn't gotten any direct orders from his superiors, so it is his decision!

There is tension! I feel tense! Wow! What a space battle! They do well at those. Love that Zeta Squadron went and escorted the Narn ship into hyperspace. Good relations being established there!

Sheridan: "[The Centauri ship] fired first, Mr Lantz. I have an obligation to protect this stations." Mr Lantz: "You had no business helping a Narn cruiser." Sheridan: "Are you telling me to disobey regulations?" Mr Lantz: "What regulations?" Sheridan: "General Order 47. EarthForce personnel are required to answer distress calls and assist any vessels not currently involved in hostilities against Earth. Now, it may not have been politically convenient, but legally and morally it was the right decision."

That it was. No matter the amount of Centauri blustering. It is 100% bullshit of these people to be catering to the Centauri so much. Sheridan is ordered, on pain of losing his position, to apologize to the Centauri, which is super lame.

Lt Keffer's computer's voice is fantastic. Good job, human voice actor playing a computer voice!

Sheridan's practicing his apology in the mirror is excellent.

Londo being a sad outcast in the middle of parties because no one wants to associate with his shitty ass is also excellent.

Awwww, Lt Keffer. Excellent work tracking down a shadow ship, brave and quick thinking saving the information, but bad death.

Whoa!!!! Sheridan just jumped out of the shuttle! But Kosh pulls a Dues Ex Machina! And everyone recognizes him with a local name or designation. Has this actor been in the encounter suit all along?

Huh, the inside of the shell of B5, an interesting view.

Sheridan really keeps it together. His calm acknowledgement in just saying "Kosh."

Hmmmmm. Good Vorlon lore.

A Narn in speaking with another being agrees that seeing the being of light was a good omen. Londo claims he saw nothing. I wonder how much truth there is to that.

Ivanova voice-over! We started the season with her voiceover, and I'm glad to end it the same way.

"…[Babylon 5] became our last, best hope for victory. Because sometimes peace is another word for surrender, and because secrets have a way of getting out."

At least there's a publicly released footage of the Shadows now!

This episode did a really good job of making me want to immediately watch another! Season one was great. Season two was better, and with this finale, I'm completely invested in where Season three will take me!

this just in! my top five from s02 and final thoughts before starting s03!