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#fuckers!!
goldenpinof · 1 year
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i'm not home and i don't have a laptop here so i can't really concentrate and take notes but there's so much to unpack here. dnpgames mentions left and right?! and the info he is giving isn't particularly new, so the fact that he decides to come back to the "dead" channel again and again is way too interesting. the house tour? the house STILL not being finished!! i started to believe they keep saying this to not give us any proper tour but then why mention tour at all. weirdos <3 Phil kissed 3 youtubers + obviously Dan. let's just not think about it. Dan and Phil podcast can actually happen? or are we in the same situation as with the gaming channel when Phil is up for it and Dan is like "no, thanks".. i would really like to know where Dan stands with a podcast or semi-regular liveshows. that one section of wad didn't give much hope. the insides of Phil's job??! this is what i've been waiting for! give me more. i definitely forgot something and i don't CARE. don't put uno cards up your butt!!
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sadclowncentral · 16 days
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cannot stop thinking about the french man who during dinner responded to a person asking "should we be naughty and get desert" by pulling a face and going "naughty? it is chocolate, it is not an, uh, threesome"
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victusinveritas · 9 months
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cyarskaren52 · 2 months
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tuttle-did-it · 3 months
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David Tennant for Prime Minister, please.
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edit- Since this is getting so much attention, edited to include descriptions of screenshots.
This woman has lost her fucking mind.
Jo, are you okay?
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plaguedpriest · 4 months
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airlinequeen · 4 months
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mx-monster · 4 months
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Monster fuckers are so creative cuz it’s like you’ll look at a monster and go “how the fuck would one go about fucking that?” And then a monster fucker will slither from the shadows and give a demonstration of human ingenuity
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cyarsk5230 · 2 months
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Kamala Harris: she is Indian, she is black, and she's OWNING Trump 🔥
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con-dientes · 6 months
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Imagine getting fucked by a ghost or an invisible force in front of a mirror. There’s nothing you can do but feel and see your gaping pussy. The best part is that you never know when they’re going to fuck you again since you can’t see them <3
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freyafoxglove · 3 months
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So earlier in art class today, someone drew a characters hands in their pockets and mentioned that hands are really like the ultimate end boss of art, and most of us wholeheartedly agreed. So then, our teacher went ahead and free handed like a handful of hands on the board, earning a woah from a couple of students. So the one from earlier mentioned how it barely took the teacher ten seconds to do what I can’t do in three hours. And you know what he responded?
“It didn’t take me ten seconds, it took me forty years.”
And you know, that stuck with me somehow. Because yeah. Drawing a hand didn’t take him fourth years. But learning and practicing to draw a hand in ten seconds did. And I think there’s something to learn there but it’s so warm and my brain is fried so I can’t formulate the actual morale of the lesson.
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weretentaclegirl · 3 months
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You thought it would be fine to fuck a fae as long as you don’t eat any fae food. You’re enthusiastically sucking a beautiful fae’s dick, not knowing he’s actually a prince, and he holds your head so you don’t move as he starts pounding on your mouth while tears strike down your face. He cums and you swallow it whole, tasting his sweet flavor and begging for more like a dirty whore. He smirks and pats your head, turning you on even more.
“Don’t worry, little human, you belong to me now. You’re my pretty little fucktoy, you will come to my palace and you will have so much more.”
You didn’t know cum counted as fae food. You don’t care anymore.
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specshroom · 4 months
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Demon / imp friend who keeps pretending they can't control their tail⤵
Pretending to be bashful when it winds its way around your thigh or wraps around your waist.
"Oh! Sorry haha, this damn thing. Like it has a mind of it's own 😅"
You let it slide because you like them, until one day you see them not so discreetly catch a pencil with their tail and manoeuvre it expertly back into the pen holder on the desk it fell from.
You pretend not to notice, your sneaky suspicion now confirmed.
So the next time they're sitting next to you and their slinky tail starts winding around the fat of your thigh, you're so ready for it.
"You're doing it again."
They turn away from what they were pretending to focus on, act all bashful and start apologising,
"Oh shit, I'm sorry."
Before your demonic friend can retreat, you cross your legs, effectively trapping their coiled tail between your warm thighs.
"It's alright, I don't mind."
You say dismissively, as you lightly stroke the arrow shaped point at the end of the tail with your thumbs.
You feel them shiver and look up to see them practically panting, staring down at you with heart shaped eyes and hot cheeks.
⛧𖤍⛧
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warthogreporter · 22 days
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And now, a brief look at the human fucker community on a monster version of tumblr
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🐙 WetterThanYou Follow
It's so sad that humans can't breathe underwater, makes bringing them to my lair so much harder
👺Ascetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow
Was anyone going to tell me humans can't breathe underwater or was I supposed to just learn that from a text post?
🐙WetterThanYou Follow
Please tell me you didn't seriously look at humans and go 'they look like they can breathe underwater'
👺Ascetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow
I thought they were like lions and how some live in the sea :(
🦁BEaST-MAN Follow
DID YOU THINK SEA LIONS WERE LITERAL LIONS?!
👺Ascetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow
They're not? 😭😭😭
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🐺HereWolf Follow
Vampires will be like 'I love humans' and then transform every human they know into another vampire. Weak. You are like someone who only watches Marvel movies and calls themselves a filmbuff.
🏏Batass Follow
Hey OP this is an important part of many vampire cultures so you should tone it down because this is really offensive.
🐺HereWolf Follow
You should get a culture that isn't fucking lame.
🦁BEaST-MAN Follow
OP you are literally a werewolf. And into throwing stones in glass houses I guess.
🐺HereWolf Follow
Gurl you don't know the amount of effort I put into keeping my human girlfriend a human girlfriend because I love her for being a human.
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💚CraftedLove Follow
In the club on a date with a human straight up breaking it. And by 'it,' haha, well. Let's just say. His sanity.
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🧙‍♂️ Crystal-Rooster-and-Orbs Follow
Sick of getting added to group chats like 'plots to overthrow our lieges.' Yes, I am both an evil wizard and an evil vizier. But I'm not plotting any treachery because my king is also evil, and so is my queen. We are in an evil polycule and give each other evil night kisses.
🧙‍♂️ Crystal-Rooster-and-Orbs Follow
Also stop telling me about the evil queen's OnlyFans like the king and I aren't helping her run it. Who do you think is taking the pictures? You have no idea how many evil yet deeply impractical schemes it's given us the economic cushion to do.
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🤼‍♂️Bitch-of-Heracles Follow
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Need me a human who will hold me like this and just destroy me 😍
♣️HeraclesOfficial✅ Follow
Hey.
🤼‍♂️Bitch-of-Heracles Follow
WHY DID NOBODY THINK TO WARN ME HERACLES WAS ON THIS WEBSITE?!
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This now has a sequel, and a third act
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cyarskj1899 · 2 months
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