#fucking coming home putting shopping bags on my food being annoying as fuck not reading the mood at all bc my feelings DONT MATTER

[mephilver]

Normal_Femoid: Just had another "cant be alone in the kitchen for literally 3 minutes moment. AMA" JoptotheTop: did your whole family come into the kitchen with you? Normal_Femoid: yes and it made me very mad also Hamspankings: did they also interrogate you on your eating habits? FemoidNormal: sorry my old accoutn got banned for threats but yes they didk

[thealienmoth]

19:40

- got to work, changed my boots and put my - stuff in the fridge (tasty salad 😌😌😌 nightshift Salat is honestly something else)

Handover with coworkers 👍

- So much happened while I was gone (for a week I might note!!), apparently I lucked out being on vacation during a bad stomach virus going around🤮. Huzzah!

20:00

-Sending the day shift home. Night night guys 💪🏼

-Catching up on what happened since,

A lot apparently (a bunch of med changes for example, always gotta keep up to date on those!)

-Reading the protocol of the last case discussions cus I wasn't there 💁, apparently some structural things changed, as well as my lil extra duty. Good that we are required to read this stuff

21:00

-Night time meds round 👍👍, good sleep you guys

(had to head back up to the little office we got, cus the needle for the insulin syringe 💉 was bent 90° when I got it out of the package. What kind of polygon formed diabetic am I supposed to inject that with? So new needle it is)

-Loads of discussion with one client if we should leave his window 🪟 open or close it, we ultimately decided on open and I will sneak in at night and close it

-Got to talk about my Urlaub a little, also nice

22:00

-everyone being quiet, I'm on my phone 📱 thinking about how to survive the night cus I am already sleepy 🥱

-put books 📚 in to my little shopping bag on Thalia

(maybe I will start reading again 🤓 [no i wont, had a streak of being able to for a whole two weeks and will now take roughly another year 🗓️ for that to come around again])

23:00

- planing a wedding piniata for a friend of the family (really is extremely overambitious) (hoping the time pressure will make me be able to do this)

00:00

-breathing check, everyone still breathing

-one client still awake, was reminded to turn the TV 📺 down a bit

(did apparently not see the point in this. The point is that this flat is extremely open concept and every sound you make that goes beyond your walls? Goes everywhere in the flat. You share this flat with 3!!! 🤷‍♂️💁🤦🏼Other people)

1:00

-first round of incontinence checks 👍, everyone dry as a bone. Means second round later on 🏜️

-side note, everyone still breathing, one person so loud I'm able to hear it everywhere in the aforementioned extremely open concept flat 🔊

2:00

-honestly forgot what I did for an hour

3:00

-really want my food now, debating putting it in the microwave or if that's toooo Loud

- discovered I can just turn the microwave off, put my food in, turn it on and then turn it off before it makes a noise. It's still incredibly loud but no one woke up so thats good 📢 🍜

(But moth, I hear you asking, how would you know if it didn't wake anyone up? Maybe they just stayed in bed annoyed at you! No they fucking didn't. They wake up and get up, be it 1am or 4am, doesn't matter. "I'm getting ready for school!" No you don't, go to bed and rest some more bud)

-had great food so up for some more staying up now

- unusually awake for this time in the nightshift

4:00

Scared teenagers that are outside and being loud, by holding my phone to the window and flashing the light like a camera would. They scattered (nothing about some fun at night, some joy in your young years [I am not over 25 myself] BUT don't do it here, you will wake everyone up)

5:00

-Did some cleaning in the flat, also pondered buying books again. Had forgotten this for multiple hours

-deep cleaning frenzy stopped by a client making noise in his room (don't be awake yet don't be awake yet don-)

[ylkcheeeks]

brain dump

Fill pill case

Request refills as appropriate

Comsume breakfast time food

Itemize this week’s readings for mm & icc

Fwd edr email per signs

👀 degreewerks. If appropriate, send tickler email

Set alarm for get ready for meeting

Drink water

Calendar catfood pickup

Check running tally on club hours

Reply whatsapp thread ⬇️

Ping about apples timing, tell preferred ⬆️

Draw waffles and rhubarb (who is now a deer? Maybe?)

Figure out how many pages of accordion will be necessary for this whole first chunk

Consume a lunchtime food

Drink water

Put any number of hanging things away

Make any progress on cats’ area vibes

Put any number of folding things away

Other things which would be grateful to go home include: markers. Pads. Paperwork. Pens. Hardware tackle box. Tote bag hell.

Check out nami

Draw any October prompt thing

Finish the handle job ⬆️

Make ground dinner

Wreath? Ingredients? Special trip this week??

Pester editorial for copy

⬆️ Share with club email shall we ⬆️

Shop storage

Computer specs

Shop your closet? Thursday?

Look at insurance/hosp site for bone men

👀 ref. acupunctuation

Other PACT and LCM events

Belated anniversary thing?! oh dear.

Hand tingly again outer half of left almost like a glove that’s too tight

How is pressure into painful release/stretching into the pain causing the belching? Why do some things clunk and done while others click click click click and never quite feel settled? What can I do to treat the underlying issues? What specifically are they- show me a diagram of the goo please. Is this a forever thing? Is being without pain one of those Molly Grue things for me at this point?

Shopping list: blank book, vest, slacks, shorts, swim, Jose Carioca,

Is there like a brace or a cream I could be using at night?

New boots (lacing/zipping), yogurts, easy in face veggies, kebeb stuff, a Vermont folksy basket to put the crushing weight on my chest into for easily accessible attractive storage

Look into accommodations

Make one thing louder

VT puppet? Kidpix 3?

Making cat costumes and cat pallamquins…

Pokemans? Patience & fortitude? Editorial…

Day trip to tarrytown with the corpse bride

The year is almost over and with it you will be tumbling into the next semester and that is a lot it is a lot there are big feelings like what do you have to show for yourself and you’ve wasted away your summers again and like maybe you could lighten the fuck up

You have a few things going on physically that are kicking your ass and even if you refuse to show it outwardly you have to allow yourself that knowledge

You have to try to be at least as kind to yourself as you would be to an acquaintance you find mildly annoying. You are legitimately harder on yourself than you are on people you know you dislike. Don’t you dare take this as a new shame fixation either. Just be honest with yourself about how you treat people and accept that if your friends can be nice to you you can be nice yto you. It doesn’t have to be valid or mood or so same friend it can just be sincere in a quiet and come t free way.

Decorative gourds and you: a wishlist

Hot cocoa

The numbness is concerning. So much is concerning.

What if green mouse Mew was in TMM Choux Choux 💋?

Also that’s my just for me new fan series idea I’m rotating. It’s a pun between

Choux pastry

Chuu like kiss

Also chuuchuu like the noise a mouse makes

Nezu speaking!

And, if I’m really awful, as in

Because she’s green ain’t she?

I like matcha or pear, which I’ve seen. Maybe plantain if I fold her into an American Mew Mew. Or maybe it’s a multinational team. I’m kinda not that interested in the how for this one I just want it sorted so I can get tithe good shit of Mousemew, Waffle the chicken, and rhubarb to be on a team. Maybe Ringo is there too, tho that messes up the color balance. Idk. It’s frothy is the point.

[formidxble]

summary: you and chan follow a routine every night. tonight’s different. 

pairing: bang chan x female reader 

word count: 3.1k

genre: angst, like Extreme Angst™️, college!au, established relationship

warnings: a lot of swearing, toxic relationship, mentions of sex ( oh and btw, this is not beta read. we die like men)

note: omg? finally? i got to write something and now i’m posting it on here? confidently??? who is she, we don’t know her! enough jokes though, this is my first fic ever that’s going to be posted on this platform, so i’m excited! constructive criticism and feedback are welcome 👉🏻👈🏻. 

tagged ❤️: @popisdead @hanflix

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ masterlist

it’s become routine at this point. 

when chan sees your room’s light turn off, it’s a signal that your roommates are now headed to bed and that you’re ready to come out and meet him. it’s been a busy few months for the both of you and the nights were the only time you two could meet. he’s a business major working on his business proposals for the semester and you’re a performing arts student, preparing for this semester’s art production. saying it was hard to make time to see each other was an understatement. nevertheless, you two made sure you still met, may it be only for a few minutes. some nights you were lucky, being able to meet for an hour or so. nights were reserved for chan and for chan only. 

after putting on your coat, you reached out for the door knob as you felt your phone buzz in your pocket. “are you coming or not? i’m freezing” you sigh softly.

the first few nights were fun, you have to admit. impromptu grocery shopping for the both of your food supplies for rest of the week, a few make out sessions here and there, and sometimes, leading to even more if you both were lucky enough. it gave you a high you never thought you would ever come down from. whenever he kissed you after a long day, you felt as if the weight on your shoulders fell off, even for just a moment. whenever chan held you in his arms and told you it was going to be okay, your chest loosened, even for just a moment. chan was the calm in the chaos and when you were in his car, holding his hand and feeling his lips lingering on yours, he provided the needed break you longed for during the day.

but, as the days and weeks passed by, the nights became shorter and quieter. rides became quicker and the good conversations slowly turned into mere small talk. no longer would he give you soft touches, no longer would he ask how your day went, and no longer would chan look at you the way he did before. no more i love you’s, no more second glances when he dropped you off at your dorm during the early hours of the morning. you excused the change of behavior as the result of your fatigue in school. the change was expected, you always told yourself.

it’s become a mantra now, something you repeated to yourself as you lied in bed at night, a routine. a routine. 

you close your eyes for a moment as you twist the doorknob to open the door. you focus on your phone again as soon as you got out of your dorm. “coming."

you spotted chan’s car a mile away. before, he would put the window down to greet you, a soft smile spreading across his face. now, you were faced with the car’s tinted windows, your reflection staring back at you as you wrapped your fingers around the handle of the car door. you heard the lock click. 

“hey,” you mumbled. you heard a soft hum in response. you quietly put the seatbelt on, relaxing your back on the seat as you stared ahead. chan was on his phone, seatbelt off. light from his phone illuminated his features. the bags under his eyes were a little bit more prominent than the last time you noticed. you wonder if he’s been eating, getting enough sleep, but you weren’t in the position to ask now. not when frustration is starting to boil in your chest.  

you didn’t know if you should call him out. it was his way to unwind as well, but then again, he was there to pick you up for a short date. this was the only time you both had for yourselves, yet here he was, texting away on his phone. this shouldn’t annoy you as much as it does now because chan does this whenever he was waiting. 

“hey,” you repeat louder. chan looks up from his phone, an eyebrow raised. 

“yes?” he asks, turning his phone off. the two of you are surrounded in darkness, with only the light from the lamp posts outside lighting the interior of the car. 

“what do you mean, ‘yes?’ are you serious?” chan furrows his eyebrows at your words as he straps himself in. he turns to you, blinking. you suck in a breath. 

“this is the only time we get to spend together and you’re on your phone? are you ser—“

“i’m sorry. there,” he breathes,  “can we move past this? i’m not in the mood to fight.” he interrupts. you open your mouth to say something back, but you’re cut off by the movement of the car. 

the air inside the car was heavy, heavier than usual. sure, you and chan had a couple of unresolved fights the other nights and sure, you spent you early mornings crying over him, but it should have been resolved with the few kisses he gives you, right? then why are you so upset now? chan makes amends, tells you he’s sorry for raising his voice, for ignoring you the whole day. he was busy, right? of course he’ll end up not texting you. he kisses the pain away, even though he’s the reason for said pain. he talks his way out and if he avoids the topic of the fight, you wouldn’t mind. that was the routine. but not tonight, apparently. 

“you’re always not in the mood.” you whisper, crossing your arms in front of your chest. you watch the trees outside of the car starting to blur as chan’s driving sped up. this night will end as quick as it started, you thought. you hear a sigh beside you. 

“i just—“ chan starts, “i can’t fight anymore, y/n. i’m tired.”

“and you think i’m not?” you answer back, looking at the man beside you, “god, we never talk anymore, chan. all we ever do is fuck the pain away and—“

you’re cut off by the sight of chan’s knuckles slowly turning white on the steering wheel. you almost don’t see the way he clenches his jaw. he pulls the car over at the side of the road and for a second, you think you two will be able to finally talk about your issues, the problems that were never muttered, but still plagued your relationship. god knows you wanted to hear from him, anything— fuck, just anything to finally resolve it, fix it. to finally end the routine you both had. but that hope shatters as soon as his mouth opens. 

“what do you want me to say? we’ve been okay, we’ve been fin—“

you let out an exasperated sigh, eyes meeting his, “we aren’t fine, chan, we haven’t bee—“

“what do you mean?” chan questions. he removes his seatbelt to turn to you. a gentleman he still was, even though you knew he was avoiding the topic. again. “fuck, what do you want me to say? i was on the phone. how does that merit a full blown argu—“

“it’s not about the damn phone!” you exclaim, finally feeling the frustration in your chest blow over. 

were you going crazy? why didn’t he see the changes? doesn’t he feel the frustration? were you the only one feeling this way, then? does he feel that everything was okay or were you that good at acting that everything was okay, that nothing was wrong? you run a hand down your face as you try to collect yourself.  the car became quiet, as always. chan was never really vocal about things like this and let you do the talking. maybe this is why issues were never resolved. 

“then, what is it about?” chan mumbles, eyes never leaving your form. you let out a soft scoff.

"what is it abou—are you kidding me? are you fucking with me?”chan raises an eyebrow in response, furrowing it afterwards. he lets out a sarcastic laugh after a few beats of silence. he shook his head as he turned to face the road again. 

“is this fight going to last all night? if so, i’d rather just drop you off,” he starts to put his seatbelt on, "we can continue our date when you’re not this moody."

and at that moment, your world nearly stops. the silence in the car was loud and the tension, if you could see it, could be cut with a knife. his words echo in your mind as the car starts moving again, chan preparing to make a u-turn to go back in the direction of your dorm. 

“not...this...moody?” you repeat to yourself. chan nonchalantly hums in response. 

you couldn’t even look at this man anymore. it was as if you didn’t know him anymore. he carried the name of your boyfriend, but was he really the chan you knew? the chan you knew won’t be able to say these things to you, let alone treat you like this. you feel like a deer in headlights, shocked at how everything led up to this moment. and to think that the turning point of your relationship was something as simple as chan being on his phone. you closed your eyes as you tried to fight the lump forming in your throat. 

“so, what am i supposed to do?” you ask. "just go home and think about what i did? what i said?”

chan shrugs. he shrugs. you couldn’t believe how he didn’t take this conversation seriously. was it because you’ve been in this exact same situation before? sure, fights have been frequent, but were they frequent to the point that chan just straight up ignored them? to the point that he never brought the topics up again? no effort to try and fix it?

was he that tired that he was willing to let everything pass? let you suffer in silence? 

“stop the car,” you whisper shakily. chan doesn’t listen, though. he never does, he rarely does. he never listens anymore. 

“chan, please stop the car,” you feel stupid begging, but that does it. he stops the car again, your dorm building in sight. his knuckles start to turn white again, but he closes his eyes this time. you hear him take a sharp inhale through his nose. 

“i can’t fight anymore, y/n, please, just...we can fix it tomorrow, whatever it is.”

you let out a soft sob at his words. “chan, you always say that, god, you always say that.”

chan grips his steering wheel tighter. “yes, i do, but we always fix it. we always end up fixing it.”

“no, we fucking don’t!” you scream now, releasing the frustration that has been clawing to come out, “no, we don’t fix things, we fuck it away and we pray that things magically turn okay in the morning, but it never does! it never fucking does!”

chan stays quiet, eyes drifting to the car floor. you wish you could know what he was thinking. you wish he would talk to you, tell you what he really felt instead of just sitting there. god, were you tired. you were tired of pretending things were okay when they aren’t. you were tired of telling yourself it would be fixed, that the relationship would go back to normal, but it never does. and you just somehow have to live with it because that’s how it is with you and him. that’s the routine, right? and even though you hated it, you tolerated it because you loved him. but people will reach an end point, one way or the other. you can’t help but feel that this was yours. 

“loving you is so exhausting, chan, i—“ your voice cracks, “i’m supposed to be content with this treatment? you and i not talking the whole day and then meeting at night just to make up for lost time, have sex, and pretend that everything’s okay, that the fights have not gotten out of hand, that we’re going to be ok—“

“we are going to be okay, fuck, it’s not that easy,” chan mumbles, “i’m trying, y/n, but i can’t give you everything you need, not anymore.”

silence fills the car and it engulfs the two of you. 

"what changed?" you sob softly, tears now slowly flowing down your cheeks. it was okay, a few weeks ago. days became busier, tasks became heavier, but did that mean that your relationship had to deteriorate the way it has been? 

“nothing changed, please, y/n,”chan breathes, not turning to look at you, “we just got busier and��"

“we weren’t like this, chan, we used to talk about things. w-we used to...talk. we can’t even do that now? am i asking for too much? i shouldn’t be begging for your time, chan, please—“you cry out softly. “why am i always second to you, chan? i try to be the best for you, chan, please.”

chan lets out a shaky breath as he tries to find the words to respond with. “y/n, it’s not y—“

“spare me the bullshit. spare me the "it’s not you, it’s me”. at least, be honest with me.” you say firmly, wiping away the tears on your cheeks harshly. 

“i...i just don’t feel like i’m ready for this yet, okay? i want to fo—"

your feel something in your chest. a pain you’ve never felt before. chan’s words become a blur as you feel your back hit the seat. 

you’re taken back to a time in your childhood when you were trying out the jump rope your friends had. being the idiot you were, you jumped in time with the rope and it tangled on your feet. you ended up falling on your chin, scraping it in the process. the pain rang through your skull and for a while, you couldn’t move, tears merely streaming down your cheeks. and to that that one time during one of the art productions in university, you ended up falling off of the stage. of course, it wasn’t anyone’s fault, but maybe if they turned on the lights before lowering the stage, you wouldn’t have broken your ankle. you remember how worried chan was, but most importantly, you remember how much it hurt. you couldn’t walk and if you tried, it would shoot pain up your leg. 

adding all the pain you’ve felt in all those moments, it wouldn’t amount to the pain you feel now. 

not ready? not ready after 3 years? how could he say that? this was the man you saw your future with, someone who was supposed to be your soulmate. that was him, that was chan. the nights you shared, the words you uttered, were all those fake? were all those just to make everything feel okay? 

not ready? 

not ready.

the words echo in your mind like a broken record. were you supposed to beg him to stay? beg him to be ready when he just admitted that he wasn’t? as you turned to look at him, you didn’t see the chan who loved you. instead, it was the shell of the man who used to love you, care for you. fuck, was love supposed to hurt this bad? you feel your heart starting to crack even more.

if this was love, you didn’t want it. not anymore.

“drop me off,”you mumble after a deafening silence, voice shaking as a sob threatens to come out of your mouth. chan turns to look at you, finally. you don’t meet his eyes anymore. you, instead, just look straight ahead. if he wasn’t ready for a commitment, even after 3 long years, then you were not about to beg him to stay. chan opens his mouth to say something, but you notice that he just swallows his words. he turns to look in front of him as he pushes on the gas again to drive back to your dorm. if he wasn’t ready, then he wasn’t ready. there’s no point in trying to convince him he is. the next best thing is to leave and let him figure out what he needed to figure out. if he needed space, he could have told you. what bothered you the most is the fact that chan’s always been about communication, but somehow and somewhere along the journey, he changed. maybe that’s just how it goes. 

when he pulls up in front of your dorm building, chan turns to look at you again, eyes scanning your features. “i’ll see you tomorrow, then?”

you shake your head, eyes closing as you tried to fight the urge to cry again. the question he asked has always confused you. it was always like this, that even after a fight, he expects to see you again, the same time, the same place. you were tired and it didn’t help that you now knew why he wasn’t acting the same— he wasn’t ready to commit to you, even after all this time. 

“i’m ending it here, chan."

“ending what?”

ending the routine, ending the cycle, ending us. these words rang through your head and you didn’t know which to answer. was he acting aloof so that he could get off easily? that maybe you’ll let him off again because he somehow can’t understand what was happening? you swallowed. 

“us, chan, i—i can’t go on like this anymore,” you pause. was this what you really wanted or were you doing this to prove a point? you weren’t sure, but one thing’s clear, you had to do this, not only for him, but for you. you can’t subject yourself to this cycle anymore. you had to break it sooner or later. “when i get out of this car, we’re over."

chan’s car became a place of love and security in a world full of uncertainty and chaos. it was where you both spent time together when you needed a break, when you needed to be together. now, it was a place of loneliness and despair. it became a place full of resentment and unresolved issues and you can’t help but wonder how chan will be able to sit in his car again without thinking of this moment. before he could respond, you were out of the car. 

in the back of your mind, you hoped that he would call you, run after you. beg you to stay, tell you that everything will be fixed if you just gave him time. you prayed in your head desperately. if he did so, you know you’ll come crawling back to him. if he showed some sort of care, some sort of longing, some sort of initiative that he wanted things to work out, that he wanted this as much as you do, then maybe you’ll come back to him again. that’s how it always was, right?

right?

behind you, you hear the car drive away.

[dokoni-mo]

Nights Like These || All for One x F!Reader

Summary: You were his favorite.

SFW // not fluff but not angst

Word Count: 2802

WARNINGS: obsessive behavior, toxic behavior/mindsets, manipulation, possessive behavior, all for one is evil as usual, fear tactics, some sensual touching, kisses, mentions of death if you squint, swearing, age gap relationship of you squint, but reader is depicted to be in their late 20s, also the fact I also didn't proofread this one lmao (pls forgive me I was working on this at like 3 am).

A/N: This takes place before AFO became the potato man. This is my take on how he would be like in a "relationship". If you want some PRIME AFO content, however, AND ARE THE AGE OF 18 OR OVER, go check out @nonobadcat 's story A Hypnotic Nightmare. It's one of my favs atm (also, badcat, if you're reading this, i haven't forgotten about the fanart! i've just had a lot on my plate bc of the end of school. im terribly sorry if it seemed like i left you hanging).

~~

You hated armored black vans.

Ever since meeting him you knew exactly what they meant.

They would come to you when you least expected it, and often when you really didn't want them to. You could be anywhere in the world, and one would always find a way to roll up next to you. If you tried to outwalk them, they would just drive faster. If you pretended to ignore them, they would cut you off in your tracks.

Persistent little shits.

Just like him.

This time, it was late into the night when one rolled up next to you. You hadn't seen one in some days beforehand, and was relishing in that fact when the dread-vehicle rumbled up next to you. You had just gotten done doing some late-night grocery shopping for yourself, looking decent but in no way perfect. Sighing through your nose, you gave the tinted windows of the van the glare of your life, trying in vain attempt to get it to just piss off.

Even though that tactic never worked before, it would never stop you from trying.

The van pulled up to the curb next to you and slowed to a stop. Seeing as there was no way you could run or try to ignore it now, you stopped in your tracks, clenching your plastic grocery bags tighter. A moment later, the van rolled it's driver's side window down, revealing the driver to you. You didn't recognize this one; it wasn't one in his normal rotation.

You wondered if he killed one of the other ones, and this one was the replacement.

Looking into the eyes of the driver, you shot him another glare, your face morphing into a frown. This didn't seem to phase the man, however, since he just stared back at you with a blank expression.

You knew you weren't that threatening, but, come on. At least show something.

"What is it?" you questioned the man, your voice firm and serious. Although you already knew the answer to that, you prayed to whoever was listening that it would be a different answer this time.

"He wants to see you."

No dice.

You let out another sigh through your nose, this time more frustrated and annoyed than the last one.

"I just saw him the other day," you tried to bargain, "and I have ice cream in here. Can it wait until tomorrow?"

The driver shook his head, "Sorry, miss. He wants you now."

Your face assumed a deeper frown. It wasn't often that these drivers made it known to you how persistent he was being in seeing you. This made a lump form in the bottom of your stomach. What did he want this time? Another date? Quality time? Or just to remind you of who you belonged to?

You hoped it was one of the former two.

Looking from side to side nervously, you swallowed the lump in your throat before speaking again, "Can I at least put my groceries in my apartment first?"

The driver shook his head, "We can get someone to do it for you, miss. But we need to leave. Now."

Damn, this driver really meant business.

Finally admitting defeat, you slowly took a few steps towards the van, watching as the large, jet-black doors rolled itself open for you. Leaning down, you set your bags on the clean, vacuumed floor of the van, ducking down and pushing yourself inside next. The driver watched you in the rear-view mirror, making sure that you sat down and buckled your seatbelt. Once you were safe in the backseat, he shut the door to the van and pulled out into the street again, driving noticeably careful.

A soft sense of dread washing over you, you leaned up against the van door and planted your elbow on the armrest, resting your chin in your palm. Not feeling up for friendly chat with the man driving you, you fixated your gaze out the window, watching as the neon lights of Japan rushed by you.

You wondered which location you would be at today.

He seemed to have spots everywhere across the world.

You hoped it was the Tokyo one. That one had your favorite food and view.

Hugging yourself closer to the door, you tried to ignore the dread winding up in your stomach. You tried your best to just focus on how pretty the lights looked at night, but couldn't help but have your mind linger back to the racing thoughts that plagued your head.

You wished your friend had never introduced you to his stupid fucking cult. He would deny over and over that it was a cult, but it was a cult. You had been quirkless for so long, and content being so all your life. But, when your friend told you about the man she met that could give you your very own quirk, you would be lying if you said you weren't intrigued.

Biggest mistake of your entire fucking life.

~~

Alas to you, the driver didn't take you to the Tokyo location. It ended up being the Osaka location. You felt rather disappointed by this.

The driver was at least nice enough to help you out of the car and escort you into the hands of your body guards for the night. The guards quickly surrounded you, almost suffocating you by how close they were. After relaying the message that you had arrived, the guards practically drug you into the tall, looming building.

You wondered when the next time you could go outside would be.

Going through the doors, you were greeted with the familiar sight of clean, shiny marble floors, your feet clacking against them as they always did. Everything about the building was ornate but simple, reminding you of some fancy hotel.

It was so fucking obnoxious.

Only one dude and occasionally yourself lived here. And not even full time.

It make you frown.

Eventually, the guards and yourself made your way to the elevators. When one eventually came down (it didn't take long because you were most likely some of the only people in the building), all of you packed in the elevator like a fucking clown car. You were shoulder-to-shoulder with the much taller guards, suffocating on their cologne.

The dead silence in the elevator made you wanna puke.

~~

The guards left you once you were at the door.

You were now all alone in the hallway, the tall, dark, looming door before you. Your fingertips were trembling, yet you didn't know if it was out of fear or anticipation.

He probably already knew you were here. Why did you even have to go through this step? Just for his sick kicks?

Most likely.

You didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

You swallowed and closed your eyes, taking a few deep breaths in and out of your nose. You had to give yourself a pep talk before you could lift up your hand, curling your knuckles to knock on the door.

You stopped before you could knock even once. If there was any time to run, this is it. If you could just-

No. It's impossible.

God how you knew it was impossible.

No matter where you went, no matter what you did, he seemed to always know.

You've seen him angry before. It ran shivers down your spine and made you contemplate whether or not there was an afterlife or not.

You didn't want to know how he was like when he was pissed off. Especially if it was directed towards you.

And, you knew, trying to get away from him was a sure as fuck way to royally piss him off.

Taking in one last deep breath, you put on your brave face and knocked on the door, feeling your dread become almost overwhelming in your gut.

You wet your lips before you spoke.

"It's me."

...

Silence.

Your head perked up at the nothingness that greeted you back. Was he not here anymore? Did he leave for a different place without telling you?

You opened your mouth to say something again, but quickly shut it again.

Could you... leave? Go home?

This was definitely a first.

As soon as your excitement welled up, however, you were quickly shot down again from the deep voice behind the door.

"Come in."

Fuck.

Squaring your shoulders and putting on your bravest face, you gingerly opened the door and stepped through, leaning your back against the wood as you shut it again.

Why did you do this to yourself? So willingly walk into the lion's den?

It didn't take you long to remember.

Fear.

Looking inside the room, the lighting was moody to say the least. Barely anything was turned on, and it was so deafeningly quiet, sans the sounds of the city below and the hum of the AC.

Scanning the room with your eyes, you felt your stomach do a flip when you landed on the man of the hour.

The man who had taken over your life for the past three years.

Him.

Shigaraki. Or, as he was known by everyone who wasn't you, All for One.

Probably the most feared man in Japan. Hell, the world even.

Christ on a fucking bike.

He was seated on the couch that faced the door, his usual sly smirk on his face. One of his legs was crossed over the other, and he seemed to had shed his black coat long ago. His crimson eyes bore right into the very fiber of your being, right into your very soul. His presence was so fucking overwhelming it made you feel like you couldn't breathe. The amount of power that dripped off that man was uncanny.

It always made you wonder what he wanted with quirkless little you.

Unable to maintain eye contact with him for any longer, you dropped your gaze to the floor, your back still pressed against the door. Even though you couldn't see him anymore, you could feel his eyes on you, raking up and down your body.

You prayed that this night went by quickly.

"You're late, little one." He said to you, making your shoulders tense up.

"I..." you began, your nervousness painfully obvious as you brushed your hair behind your ear, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be."

All for One let out a hum, and you could practically fucking feel his smirk grow bigger from across the room.

You wondered if he knew that you were only half telling the truth, or if he was just that delusional.

After a moment, he spoke again.

"Come into the light, darling. Let me get a good look at you."

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you hesitated for a brief second, your fingertips twitching against the wood of the door. Seeing no possible way out, you decided it was best to just do what he said. Pushing yourself off the door, you took small, timid steps into the light, keeping your gaze down on the floor. Awkwardly trying to figure out what you should do with your hands, you decided on clasping them in front of you, picking at the skin around your nails.

You could really feel his eyes on you now.

He looked you over for what felt like an eternity before he said something else, making your eyes flicker back up to him.

"There's no need to be shy, my dear," he said, sensing how nervous you were, "There's nothing to be concerned about. You know I would never harm you."

You wanted to snort out a laugh, but decided against it. Yes, he had never hurt you before, but you doubted it was out of his realm of capability.

Not knowing what to respond with, you simply just nodded, turning your attention back to your hands.

Shigaraki continued to stare at you for a good long while, his red eyes lingering on your cute face and nervous eyes.

Fucking hell you were just too adorable.

After a good second, All for One lifted up his hand, making you look up at him. He was holding his palm out to you, his usual smirk on his face.

"Come here." He said.

Shit, he was getting serious tonight.

Your cheeks tinting a faint pink, you forced your feet to raise up and make you walk across the room. Once you were close enough, you put your hand into his, watching it as it was nearly swallowed by the sheer size of his palm. Knowing exactly what he wanted, you slipped yourself in between his long, thick legs and sat back into his lap. Your side was nuzzled into the crook of his armpit, his strong arm wrapping itself around your waist to keep you in place. Just like he liked, you rested your head against All for One's shoulder, gently lying your hands across his broad chest. This seemed to please him greatly, since he put his other hand on your lower thigh, gently rubbing circles into the side of your knee with his thumb.

You must really be fucking insane.

Gently, Shigaraki pressed a gentle kiss into your hair, mumbling out a quiet good girl in the process.

You couldn't stop the pink dust from spreading across your cheeks.

"How was your day today, darling?" He asked you, the rumble of his voice in his chest loud in your ears.

You hummed before speaking.

"It was okay..." you said, feeling the hand on your side gently stroking up and down.

"You had a lot to do, didn't you?" He asked, making you glance up at him.

Of course he fucking knew about your goddamned errands and job.

"Yeah..." you said, "I was expecting to go back home and chill the rest of the night, but..."

Shigaraki let out a chuckle at this. You didn't have to finish your thought for him to know what you meant.

"Oh, I'm sorry, little one." He said, pressing another kiss to your temple, "I know you must be tired."

You nodded in response, maybe a bit too eagerly.

"I just couldn't bear another second without you, darling." He continued, tracing circles on your thigh this his pointer and middle finger, "I just had to have my special girl with me tonight."

You shifted your weight in his lap, looking up at him, "Did something happen?"

Shigaraki chuckled at this, reaching up and brushing the hair out of your face, "Let's just say I had some... family issues tonight, my dear."

Family?

Shigaraki had family?

This was definitely a first.

You couldn't help but to be nosy.

"Family?" you asked.

"Oh, nothing for you to be concerned about, my sweet girl." He said, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead.

"You never told me you had family." You pressed, not wanting to let the subject go.

"You never needed to know, small one. Besides, it would be too dangerous for you to meet them anyhow."

"Dangerous?"

"There's a possibly they would try to take you from me."

"I highly doubt you would let that happen."

He chuckled, "As clever as always, my darling."

"What are their names?"

"Let's move on from his, my love."

"But I-"

"Are you hungry, dear? I can have someone fetch you something."

"Shigaraki, I just-"

"I said no."

A shiver went down your spine and you were quick to shut your mouth. You knew what that tone meant. It meant shut up or you get a punishment.

You always just chose to shut up.

Seemingly pleased at your compliance, Shigaraki assumed his usual smirk again and planted a kiss on your cheek, rubbing more small circles into your side.

"Have I told you how radiant you look tonight, my dear?" He asked you.

Not feeling in the mood to talk anymore, you just shook your head no.

"You always look gorgeous to me, my dear. Every single piece of you."

Pulling you closer to his chest, he lifted up your chin and looked deep into your eyes.

"My special girl. My favorite."

Closing the distance between the two of you, All for One pressed his lips to yours, stealing your breath away. His kisses were always just like him: strong, confident, and dominating.

Kissing Shigaraki always filled you with a whirling of emotions. Perhaps it was because you were tired that night, or perhaps it was because of the air, but you allowed yourself to fully enjoy his kiss. The feeling of his hands on you, the feeling of how small he made you feel, the feeling of his power radiating off his skin...

He always had this affect on you. When you were apart from him, you found it hard to love him.

But, when you were together...

you found it hard to stop.

[allthingsfuckd]

soft spot | Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

summary: Bucky, the diner owner pining for the reader, a regular at the diner and best friend, for years.

a/n: i wanted to post a Peter Parker fic but i had writer's block until i came to this idea. it's based on a few of my fav Luke and Lorelai moments from Gilmore Girls combined into this one fic. i hope you enjoy! as usual, feedback is very much appreciated and my requests are open. (you don't need to watch Gilmore Girls to understand it)

warning(s): fluff, teen pregnancy, absent father, pining.

“Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee,” you repeated, your chest pressed against the counter, an evil smile on your face. He turned to face you and placed his hands on the counter, the chanting stopped. You purse your lips trying to contain your smile.

“You know it ruins your body, slowly corrodes your insides, and makes you die really really young, right?” he says squinting at you as he makes hand gestures.

“That’s the intention,” you say smiling up at him showing your teeth. You both stayed like that for a few seconds until he turned around, grabbed a mug, and the kettle from the coffee machine. Still squinting at you, he poured the coffee in the mug and slid it over the counter to you.

“I really hope it’s soon,” he grumbles, throwing the kitchen towel on his shoulders, and walks (or stomps) back to the kitchen. You sat there, coffee in your hands, smiling as you took a sip.

The door rings open and you hear a familiar voice. “Did you get one for me?” you turned in your bar stool to look at the figure that walked up to you. The beautiful girl who you delightfully brought into the world almost 16 years ago, Leah.

You shook your head, fake-pouting. A grumble came from the teen, something you could very much relate to; caffeine deficiency. “I tried, I tried but Bucky’s in his element this morning,” you shrugged your shoulders, stretching to the left to see if he was still in the kitchen.

“I’m gonna get one myself. He likes me,” she turned to face the kitchen, chanting his name as you did earlier. You hear them arguing as you enjoyed the drink in your hand. It was white noise to you — the arguing, especially in Bucky’s diner. With him being the crabby man you’ve always known him to be, it was basically daily routine.

“You were right, he is grumpy this morning,” she said when he walked away again, this time to the back. “Wonder what happened,” she said, shrugging as she took a sip of her coffee.

People in the town have always talked about how similar you both were; you and Leah. Sometimes it did feel like you were looking in the mirror and reliving your teen years as she told you stories about her day and it would scare the fuck out of you.

“Hey, so birthday planning. Let’s go,” she patted your forearm, waking you from your thoughts, excited to turn 16. You sat up and giggled, feeling excitement running up your spine.

“Okay, so we’re gonna have it at home this year,” she nods. “After last year’s event, I vowed to never again go to a Ms. Patty party,” you both shudder, remembering the massive drunken embarrassment you had to go through at your 15-year-old’s birthday party. “Before that, we’re going somewhere special, a surprise if you may. Then we’re going shopping, which thank god your birthday is the end of the month. Cause how could we have lux on your birthday without a paycheck. We’ve got a date with your dad, says he wants to finally actually give you your gift in person this year? And a massive birthday cake with your face on it by the one and only Sookie, as per tradition,” you yap, fast-paced.

“Wait, we’re meeting dad?” she asks, cutting you off. You nodded fast, feeling the caffeine kick in. She smiled, looking down at her mug. And that’s when you felt beat up. When it came to Christopher, it always put a smile on her face. Maybe they were right. You were alike. So easily manipulated by the one man in both of your lives, who is only always there when time and circumstances met his convenience. Something naivete and youth made Leah fail to realize.

“Okay, kiddo. We’ll discuss birthday matters this evening, it’s almost 8,” you picked up her bag, gravity pulling your hand down soon after. “Woah, wormie, what are you carrying? Bricks?” you teased.

“You never know how much reading I can get done with all the waiting we do in school,” she whined after downing her coffee. She kissed your cheek and left the diner.

“God, that kid is something special,” you hear Bucky say as you both watched her walk to the school right opposite the diner. You turned around looking down at your mug, Bucky noticing a frown on your face. “What’s wrong?” he asks, bending down to look at your face.

You looked up, smiling a little. “It’s Leah’s dad,” you scrunched your nose. You never talked about Chris with anyone in the town except with Sookie and Bucky, the name and subject a sensitive topic to you. Never saying his name as if terrified some sort of evil would be summoned. Your relationship with him was beyond complex. You were best friends before anything, you-me-against-the-world (or against parents and the rich community you were brought up in), you knew him like the back of your hand. You still see him as such but since you found out you were pregnant, it all took a different turn and it wasn’t something you felt was right for either of you.

“He called again,” Bucky’s voice annoyed, rolling his eyes. He’d met him once and it was the most awkward, testosterone-filled conversation you’d ever witness. You snickered, knowing how he, as much as you, despised talking about him. “Hey,” he touches your forearm with his leather-gloved forefinger. You looked up at him. “If anything, you come to me,” you half-smiled.

Everyone in this small town knew about the mother-daughter dynamic you and Leah had. Hearing how she turned out great with just you raising her was something you heard very often, something you wished you felt through every fiber of your being. But you didn’t. And Bucky knew you struggled with that, trying his best to remind you every time you doubted. More often than not, she reminded you a lot more of Bucky than Chris, since she grew up knowing Bucky more than her dad.

“Thanks, old man,” you said, snickering behind your mug. He backed away from the counter, his grumpy face showing again. His eyebrows furrowed and his cheekbones prominent. He hated it when you called him that. He may be over a hundred years old but technically he was your age, he would remind you. “There he is!” you cheered, laughing at his frowned face.

“You have a problem,” Bucky said, taking the mug from your hand, and you slid the bill across the table. Still maintaining your gazes, seeing a small smile starting to form on his lips.

You were known by the whole town to be completely oblivious, seemingly being the only one who doesn’t know how Bucky has been pining for you for years. Even from Mars, the love he held for you in his heart could be seen. He tried several times to ask you out on a date, getting closer and closer each time he would try but something always had to happen right at the time he wanted to spit the words out of his mouth. A coward, as Sam, another regular at the diner, would call him when he realized he'd been staring at her.

You did, however, think about dating him once after having a moment with him in the diner. It was late, and you wanted coffee after a bad date. Nearly kissing until Kirk came into the diner to get his emergency late-night burger. You brought it to Leah’s attention, but to that she immediately declined, saying it might ruin the best coffee in town for the both of you.

Saturday rolled around; Leah’s birthday. You woke her up at 3 a.m., another annual essential where you would tell her the infamous story of the day she was born.

“What do you think of your life thus far, my dear?” you brushed her hair as your lied down next to her.

“I think it’s great,” she yawned.

“Any complaints?” you asked, and she shook her head. “I think you’re a great cool kid and the best friend a girl could have,” you said to her lovingly.

“Back at ya,” she answered.

“And it’s so hard to believe that many moons ago I was lying in exactly this same position,” you looked up at the ceiling, flashbacks playing in your head.

“Oh boy, here we go,” Leah said. You shushed her and continued the story.

When you walked into the diner, you were greeted by Bucky at the front door. You frowned at him, being too close to you, your hands hovered over his chest. He opened an arm to gesture you to a table by the window on your right. When you looked, your jaw dropped. He decorated the table. He laid a beautiful lace tablecloth, with a vase filled with flowers in the middle and balloons next to one of the chairs and Leah’s favorite; a rainbow cake, with a lot of frosting.

“Bucky, what is this? This isn’t you. And flowers?” you looked at him, eyes in disbelief. He shrugged. “This is amazing,” you touched the table cloth, mouth agape. “Thank you, Bucky,” you hugged him, his face red to which you were too busy to see.

He walked away, knowing your order before you could tell him. The Y/N Special he printed in the new menu. Leah came into the diner, you sat up and smiled as you waited for her reaction. “What is all this?” her jaw dropped as well.

“It’s all Bucky,” you shook your head, as she caressed the lace tablecloth. “Where he got this tablecloth? No idea!” you leaned in, whispering loudly.

“Bucky, you big ole softy,” she said to Bucky who came with your regular. He blushed when she gave him a hug, quiet as he walked back behind the counter. Your eyes followed him, still surprised by his adorable gesture.

“Hey, remember what I said about dating Bucky?” you asked her, still looking at Bucky who was taking orders. She hummed as she gobbled down her food. “Do you think it’ll work out if we did?” you asked again.

“Honestly, I think it will,” she said, cheeks stuffed with food. “Especially after this,” she gestured to the decorations. “But yeah, I do,” she said after swallowing her food, following your gaze to look at him.

It was the first time she’d ever okayed a man in your life other than Chris. You both loved Bucky especially after what he’s been through. The grumpy demeanor he displays justified.

Lane, Leah’s best friend walked into the diner, squealing as she hugged and wished her. You stood up with your order and walked to the counter to allow them to chat.

“Hey, Buck,” you said, seeing him clean his toaster. He hummed, his back still facing you. “With your expertise displayed on the very lovely table there, could you help Sookie out with decorating my place while Leah and I frolic about town?” you asked, chewing on your waffles.

“Yeah, sure anything for my best customers,” he said as he grunted, fixing the toaster.

“Why don’t you use your tools?” you asked, pointing at the toaster with your knife. Stopping what he did, he turned to shoot a glare at you.

“My toolbox is sitting in your lovely home collecting dust because you could not and will not bother to give it back to me,” he complained. You snickered knowingly since you purposely brought up his toolbox.

“Well, it’s the only thing in the house that warns burglars that there could possibly be a man in the house,” you said melodramatically as you enjoyed your food. He grabbed the knife and fork out of your hand, your hands up in the air and mouth open. You placed your hands on your lap and sighed.

“Fine, you can have John back,” you said. His eyebrows crossed in confusion and frustration. You had a track record of being stubborn and playful. Something everyone who knew you grew to normalise.

“Not every non-living thing needs to have a name,” he said, putting the utensils back on your plate.

“Yes they do. I could tell visitors that John is in the living room sitting on the floor,” and you continued to yap Bucky’s ears off until you left to bring Leah on her birthday adventure. Reminding him that you left the decorations by the couch at home and he could use the key hidden under the turtle statue.

It was almost 1 a.m., Bucky heard a loud voice from outside, he dragged his feet to the window and opened it, sticking half his body out. Flinching when he saw a stone coming in his direction. “What the hell are you doing?” he shouted at you in your pjs, holding a pillow under your arm. He was wearing short-sleeved t-shirt, something you barely saw him wear.

“I’m homeless! I’ve got nowhere to go,” you shouted back. You heard a window open at the next building and turned to face it. An old man appeared out of the window.

“Hey, would you shut up? It’s late!” the old man with his thick Boston accent shouted at you. You looked at him and then at Bucky then back at him and burst out laughing. “Would you please get her the hell outta here?” the man said to Bucky and went back inside. He went down to get you, groaning as he walked down finding you, still in a fit of laughter.

“The resemblance? Uncanny!” you said, still laughing as he grabbed your arm and pulled you into the diner.

You helped Bucky set up the mattress after looking around his apartment and teasing him for things he owned. Being friends with him for years, you’d never been in his “home” above the diner before.

“What made you homeless tonight?” Bucky asks as you fixed the bedsheet together.

“Everyone else passed out drunk, even Chris,” you said. Shocked that you brought up his name, he fiddled with his fingers as he sat by his dining table. “I’m still kinda drunk. That name slipped out of my mouth,” you said, laughing nervously, sitting next to him.

“What did he do this time?” he asked looking up from his hands.

“Surprisingly, he was nice. He was a dad for once but he hasn’t left so we’ll see what happens,” you sighed. Bucky knew the reason for your uncertainty with raising Leah was because of Chris. The seed of doubt sprouted after years of Chris reminding you that you couldn’t do it alone which made Bucky’s blood boil.

“At least she’s not pregnant yet,” you said, running your hands against the wooden dining table.

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that,” he said. “You were 16?” he asked.

“15 and a half,” you pointed out. “Ruined my 16th birthday, my mother said. What a disappointment it must have been for my parents to have me,” you looked at him.

“Can’t imagine anyone seeing you as a disappointment,” he shook his head and you sighed.

“You know, Buck. Seeing what you do for Leah, I bet you’ll make a great dad one day,” you mention, examining his face. His eyes looked sleepy.

“You make a great mom. This whole town can vouch for that fact. For how young you were when you had her, 15 and a half? Every parent makes mistakes but you make the mistakes seem like fun,” you chuckled. “You were never alone in raising her. The town has played a part in raising her with you much more than Chris ever did so I don’t know what the fuck he’s talkin' about,” he says, a lump formed in your throat.

“Yeah, it’s just the daughter part I, uh, I don’t have down yet,” Bucky exhaled through his nose. You thought about a recent fight you had with Leah about the boy she’d been dating. Something you brought up as a problem because you were terrified of possible outcomes. But you knew he was a great boy, Dean. Sweet, charming and a gentleman.

“You looked great tonight,” you placed your hand on his, you felt the cold metal against your skin. You’d never really seen his metal arm, always hidden under the sleeve of his leather jacket and gloves. His signature look, even in the summer. You stroked his metal hand and even though he couldn’t physically feel your touch, he felt goosebumps form on his skin. Physical touch was never a part of your friendship.

He smirked, raising his brow and tilting his head making you roll your eyes. “I don’t mean you don’t look great all the time, you do, and,” you groaned. “Don’t be cocky now,” you clicked your tongue, laughing, still smirking at you.

“You looked great too,” his voice cracked, coughing to clear his throat. “y/n,” he called your name, his voice lower and deeper.

“Yeah?” you whispered. His eyes softer than you were used to, finally seeing his blue eyes.

“Would you want to go on a date with me sometime?” he asked, eyes looking at your lips then back to your eyes. He felt his palm get sweaty, heart thumped loudly in his chest he swore you could hear it. He’d always have the words play in his head but he never thought the moment would ever come.

You felt your cheeks burn, you never thought he’d ever ask you. He studied your face to predict what you were gonna say, cringing a little expecting a bad answer or a laugh.

“I would love to, Buck,” you bit your bottom lip. He let out the breath he held, smiling as he shifted in his seat. After years of pining, he finally got to take his favorite girl on a date.

[harrysbluebutterfly]

Hiii!! Can u do one where y/n is on her period and she’s feeling subby but her boobs are achy so Harry massages them. But it’s really fluffy but hot??? 🤍🤍

A/n- of course my love!! This is literally so cute yet so hot. I hope you enjoy it. Love you! Sorry that I’m answering this kinda late.

-

All of yesterday you were feeling light cramping thinking that your period was definitely coming which sucked but it is what it is, and if getting railed has to wait it has to wait. You try to not tell Harry about your period until you definitely know that it’s your period not wanting him to get supplies and cancel his meetings to be with you if it turns out to be a stomachache although he would drop literally ANYTHING for you.

But the cramping stayed and when you went to the bathroom and checked the devil was in your uterus dancing around. You sighed heavily and got up to put in/on a fresh pad/tampon and went to the medicine cabinet for some aspirin to at least help the devil cramps. Deciding that you wanted to stay in bed all day you changed into some of Harry’s warm sweats and a hoodie and plopped on the bed gently to start finding something to watch. Harry was out for a meeting so he was out of the house at the asscrack of dawn. Normally when he’s out in the mornings he grabs both of you some breakfast just to make both of your life’s easier.

So the text didn’t surprise you when your phone buzzed. Bubba- i finished my meeting and passed by a new bagel shop on my way there. Would you be down to try it my love?

With a smile you start thinking of your order and you can’t help but have that warm feeling in your heart.

Y/n- sure! You know i’m always down for bagels unless they are dipped in cream cheese and grass.

Harry replied instantly

Bubba- extra dirt and grass you got it! Anything to drink with that?

Y/n- if they have apple juice that would be great!

Harry- you got it! I’ll go pick this up and be back home. I love you ❤️

Y/n- drive safe love you so much more!

Your stomach growled as if it could read the conversation about bagels and apple juice because that is a breakfast for champions mmh. Harry didn’t take long getting your orders and driving back home which was nice because right about now you could use some good Harry cuddles. Something Harry found out during the first few months of dating you is when you were on your period you tend to be extremely subby and your boobs ache like a motherfucker.

You don’t know what causes it but for some reason your hormones crave that touch of his big hand on your sensitive nipples but you didn’t know how to ask for it without it being embarrassed but Harry thought it was cute and sexy. Harry gently knocked on the bedroom door and came in gently but when he saw you curled up in a ball with your computer laying on his side of the bed he just knew.

Looking up and pausing your show you see Harry coming forwards with a tray with the bags of food and drinks he got when he was out. “Hey beautiful” Harry says with a gentle voice setting the tray on the edge of the bed “hey bubby” you said with a pout shoving your hands out trying to grab him closer. Harry kisses your forehead and then down to your lips, moving the laptop to the bedside table he sits next to her placing a hand on her cramping abdomen with hesitation you nod giving him the okay and when you feel the coldness of his big hand you sigh feeling slightly better than before.

Harry presses soft circles being cautious about not hurting you. Harry repositions himself so that he is now spooning you as you carefully grab the tray with the food and drinks. The computer forgotten and all that matters was you and harry. Your boobs were now starting to get jealous so with that being said you grabbed the hand that was on your belly and moved it up to your sensitive breasts. “Are your boobs hurting lovey?” Harry whispers gently in your ear.

You nod but Harry wanted you to say it so he took his hand off but once doing so you whimpered. “Use your words my love” you sigh loving the way he speaks to you but right now all you wanted was him to massage your boobs so you were slightly annoyed. “Yes please” Harry got what he wanted but he wanted to push you farther “what do you want me to do. Use your big girl words” you sigh again but loving it “can you please massage my breasts sir? They hurt” you said with a pout. Harry nodded and softly responded with a ‘good girl’.

Harry’s hand gently places his hand on your breast softly massaging it you let out a satisfied breath. Harry smiled at the way your body relaxed in his arms. Harry pinched your sensitive nipple in is fingers softly twisting the bud causing your breath to hitch in your throat. “Does that feel alright?” Harry asks wondering if you wanted him to keep going. “Y-yes. Thank you” Harry kisses your hair switching breasts giving them equal attention.

Harry’s cock stirs in his pants getting off to the fact that he was slightly taking the pain away for you. Harry lifted your (his) shirt to get a better feel of your sensitive breasts. You sink into him more pressing your ass into his hard bulge gasping due to how hard he was.

“Mm, you’re so hard sir” you point out to him like you didn’t know how much this turns him on. “You have no idea how much i love making you feel good” with your hormones a mess all you want to do is rip his clothes off and fuck the life out of him but you didn’t want to go into the mess and grossing him out even though he wouldn’t mind at all.

“That feels good” you sigh out feeling so at bliss. Although the food and show were forgotten it didn’t matter because all had was each other.

Masterlist

A/n- i didn’t know how to end this so i hope that was alright haha. Thank you so much for requesting again. Love you!!

[barbenheimer-core]

AUDERE EST FACERE !

하나. chanel : part four — 3k words

Wangja crossed the street with a bag of two steaming bowls of ramyeon and red ginseng, speeding up his pace to prevent the noodles from getting too soggy while he walked the path over to his shop where he had left Ahyeong at, sighing as he thought about the new addition to the cast.

When he had walked into his store last night, he was not expecting a stage to commence immediately upon entering the lounge.

Thank the writer (this was the first and last time he was going to say that) that their conversation and actions had already been written out, or else the shop owner would've been gawking at the new girl for the entirety of the stage.

He had been immensely startled back then; it was unusual for him to not know the timing and plot of every stage because he always made sure to check the comic that permanently resided in a small, hidden corner of his shop every single day.

But when he had browsed the comic as soon as Ahyeong had left, he had been bewildered at the sudden shift in the book's contents.

The cast page had been altered to feature four main characters instead of the original trio, and as he had turned the pages, he had noticed the new stages being inked with interactions that had never been present as of before.

To think that an already complicated web of troubling relationships had not been enough for the writer, they had proceeded to add a love square to the mix.

Wangja grimaced at his creator's choices in life. They had definitely been influenced by someone to do so if it had been so last minute.

But one thing was for sure; out of all the stories that the writer had put him in, this was by far the most interesting.

"Ahyeong-ah! I'm back!" he yelled into the air as he stepped in, his voice echoing in the shop.

The silence was his only response.

Confused, he stepped through the streamers that decorated the lounge's archway, eyes searching for the girl while he set the food down on the coffee table next to the abandoned copy of Shiver.

"Ahyeong, are you here-"

He stopped abruptly, gaze finding the peach cover of True Beauty toppled upside down on the floor in front of a shelf he swore no one would notice.

With dread in his mind, he picked it up, turning it around, only to be faced by the drawn version of the person he was looking for.

Oh no. She'd seen it.

If Gilyeong had to describe his sister at that moment, he would've said she looked like she'd risen from a grave in a zombie apocalypse movie.

She looked dead. Alive, yes, but dead.

Like someone had told her whole life was a lie.

When Ahyeong had arrived back home from wherever she had dashed off to during the morning, she had looked like she'd gone through the five stages of grief, questioned the meaning of life, and ran a marathon through the streets of Seoul by how hard she was breathing.

He had almost asked her if she was okay, but that would've come off as him being "concerned for his dear sister," as Eunjung had so uselessly put it, and he hated proving people right. And besides, Ahyeong was clearly not okay.

"Oye, grinch," he called out across the table after seeing her actions.

She looked as if she hadn't even heard him. No annoyed flinch, no irritated twitching of her eyebrow; no reaction at all. Just her mindlessly trying to eat soup with chopsticks.

Eunjung looked at her with an extreme amount of concern.

Gilyeong almost puked at the feeling of worry in his gut.

Ahyeong was functioning on auto-pilot, her consciousness having taken a backseat as the only thing that moved her was sheer muscle memory.

She couldn't even remember how she had come back to her house, however, the stinging in her legs informed her of how she had deserted the shop and ran all the way back home, much to Driver Kwon's horror.

Her head felt empty.

Being in a comic? As a bully? That had to be the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard, or read, about herself.

It did not make sense. She was quite literally a model student, with a record as clean as glass. Being reduced to the likes of a bully? Impossible.

And then the derealisation came in.

This probably wasn't real after all. Maybe it was just one big practical joke blown out of proportion.

Yeah, that was it, she concluded as she finally became aware of her surroundings, dropping the chopsticks in her hands with a confused look and picking up a spoon to continue eating her soup, unaware of the small breath of relief from across the table.

That weird paralysis thing hadn't happened since the other day anyway, so she was probably going to be okay.

TURN.

What a fucking lie, you're kidding—

The doors to the house banged open, harshly knocking against the walls and startling the occupants of the dining room.

Song Hwayoung came inside the house, immediately making Eunjung receive her in a hurry and assist her with taking off her coat and setting her a pair of slippers.

Ahyeong was panicking. Why now? The universe was being unnecessarily cruel. Her body felt like a rock, cemented into the ground. The air got colder, the lights felt different, brighter somehow, as if someone was shining a spotlight down on her family, as if a grim situation was about to ensue.

Ahyeong almost got up to greet her mother, but sat back down after seeing the subtle shake of Gilyeong's head, who hastily looked down at his empty plate after Hwayoung came to sit at the head of the table.

Her mother looked like she had been trying to bottle up her anger the whole day, and the cap was finally about to burst.

Ahyeong felt unsettled at the sudden change in demeanor. Her mother had never gotten this furious before, ever. She attempted to stand, but she was glued to her seat and could only watch as Hwayoung glared daggers at Gilyeong.

She threw a stack of papers in front of Gilyeong, who shrunk into his seat when he saw its contents.

"What is this?" Hwayoung inquired, trying her best to appear calm.

The young boy mumbled a reply in a voice so small that it was barely audible.

Hwayoung flared her nostrils, "Say it louder!"

Both siblings flinched at the volume. "My report card," the youngest said shakily.

Why was her mum flipping over a simple report card? It's not like grades mattered—

"Even I know that it's a fucking report card. What I want to know is why your grades dropped to C's and D's and why the hell you're failing in math?"

Ahyeong's eyes widened, either involuntarily or of her own free will, she didn't know. Hwayoung cursing at her brother and raging over his academic report? That was quite literally the opposite of how her mother was. Hwayoung was supposed to be the sweetest person she'd ever known, understanding and supportive through every endeavor.

For a moment she considered if her mother had been replaced by a clone of a crueler version of her. With the bullshit that was happening to her right now, the theory did not even feel that far-fetched.

At Gilyeong's silence, Hwayoung scoffed, "All of this was happening and you didn't even bother telling me? I was in a phone call with your friend's mother who told me her son had scored first place but when she mentioned how you weren't even in the top ten do you know how humiliated I felt?"

She stood up abruptly, throwing her chair back, which was immediately caught by Eunjung, and scowled at the boy, not a single trace of warmth in her eyes that her daughter was familiar with, "What an embarrassment to the Song name. At least your sister fares better than you."

With that, she stalked away, heels clicking against the marble floors as she retreated to her room.

TURN .

Ahyeong got up as soon as she could control her movements, rushing over to Gilyeong whose eyes had become red and puffy as he sniffled.

She pulled him in between her arms, and he shook uncontrollably, Eunjung watching the ordeal with downtrodden eyes, wishing she could help.

This was far beyond what she thought would happen. No, that woman could not have been their mother.

As she put her brother to sleep that night, she came to a solution.

Stepping into the elevator to reach Cloud9 Officetel's terrace the next day, her resolve strengthened.

This nightmare was ending, one way or the other.

Jugyeong was quite possibly living the worst nightmare she'd ever had.

The world was too cruel. Beauty was only on the inside, they said. What a horrible lie.

She had been humiliated beyond measure. All she tried to do was convey her honest feelings to quite possibly the only person who had ever been genuinely kind to her. She would've been fine if Wang Hyunbin had simply rejected her and decided to stay as friends. But for him and Semi to destroy her pride and self-worth like that? Because of how she looked?

She felt her eyes burning with warm tears before they cascaded down her cheeks, the cold wind at the top of the building harshly biting at her skin and rattling her bones.

She shivered.

Cold, it was too cold. What a day to die.

Jugyeong's hands hovered over her phone's screen as she stared at her mother's contact. Would her family even mourn her? Good riddance, they would probably think.

But she had to tell someone, and even if her mother was harsh with her words, she still loved her. She had to tell her the reason why she was about to jump off of a building.

Just as her finger leaned down to press the call button, the door to the rooftop opened, and Jugyeong jumped in shock, turning around to see who had come in.

She did a double-take.

Was God personally consenting to her taking her own life? Because she was pretty sure he had sent down an angel to escort her soul into heaven.

Her glasses had been abandoned on the bench she'd been sitting on from when she had been trying to wipe her tears, so she couldn't really see the person properly, but even with bad eyesight, the stranger looked almost ethereal.

They were dressed in a black dress and heels, as if they had gone to a funeral, or were planning to go to one.

They stopped upon seeing Jugyeong's disheveled self.

Was God finally being kind to her in her final moments?

Mind in a haze and not thinking straight, Jugyeong broke down yet again.

Ahyeong was startled at the girl crying in front of her. She didn't think there was going to be someone else up there other than herself.

When she looked closer at the girl who was sobbing uncontrollably in front of her, she noticed who it was, immediately taking a few steps back on instinct.

Moon Gayoung? Why was she in a school uniform— oh.

You've got to be kidding me.

What luck she had, walking right into the girl this world literally revolved around.

She felt something pulling away at her in the back of her mind, sending warning bells down her spine, saying she wasn't supposed to be there. But why?

Ahyeong's heart almost burst out of her ribcage when Jugyeong threw herself at her, clutching almost painfully at her waist and sobbing into her dress.

She froze at the sudden contact, arms awkwardly hovering over the girl's shoulders.

Jugyeong had probably not recognized her yet, because there was no way she was hugging her future tormentor just like that.

"Th-thank y-y-you for c-coming," the girl said between choked breaths, "F-for being- for being here in my—" she struggled to say the words, "—my final moments."

Ahyeong stilled at that.

By the time her words had registered, she already knew what was happening.

This was the scene from the drama, she remembered, when Jugyeong had tried to kill herself because of the incident at school.

How ironic. Ahyeong almost laughed at her situation, they were here for the same fate for almost the same reason. Both didn't like the world that they lived in.

But for the Song girl, this was a test, really. A theory she came up with in the dead of the night.

The sensation of falling, that knee-jerk reaction, and the feeling of finally waking up from your dream. That was what she was hoping for. She wasn't here to die, she was here to go back to living her own life.

But the girl who clung to her was dead set on ending things, and frankly, that was a dreadful thought.

Ahyeong had no intention of leaving her as she was, be this a fictional world or not, Im Jugyeong was a human being who deserved a lot more than she got.

"Were you going to jump?"

Jugyeong's thoughts came to a halt as the Angel asked a question, the oddly familiar lilt of her voice bringing a strange mix of foreboding and warmth in her gut.

Still shaking, she only nodded against her shoulder.

"Why?"

"Because-" she sniffled, tightening her arms around them, "because everyone hates me," her voice faded at the end, and her wobbly knees gave in, making her sink into the hard floor and dragging the person along with her.

This time, the Angel wrapped her arms around her, rubbing soothing circles into her back.

"Jugyeong, things may seem horrible for you at the moment, and you have every right to be upset over what was said and done, but it is impossible to know answers to such questions when you're so overwhelmed."

The words cut through her haziness, her cries slowly stopping as what they said registered in Jugyeong's mind.

"You don't really want to die, do you?"

It felt weird, being told such things by a stranger.

Maybe deep down she had already known, but her despair had overtaken her senses and disregarded her common sense.

"Why were you really about to call your mother?"

Because she was hoping someone would stop her. To make sure someone really did care about her despite appearances.

The Angel patted her back, and slowly pulled away, only to firmly place their hands on Jugyeong's shoulders.

"Your family's waiting."

She didn't need to be told twice.

Maybe God was kinder than she thought.

It was getting dark now.

The cold evening air nipped at her skin as Ahyeong stood on the edge, heels digging into the concrete as she gazed down below.

What a hypocrite she was, telling all those things to Jugyeong.

She'd sent her home with a taxi after their ordeal, and Jugyeong had not even looked at her once through the whole thing.

She didn't know why.

The road was buzzing with activity, cars zooming past on asphalt, people walking home on the footpaths, vendors selling seasonal goods by the side.

It seemed to be a normal day.

She wondered how the rest of their day would go if her body suddenly flopped down there.

Gooseflesh rose on her arms. All of this was too real.

She slapped herself, the stinging spreading through her numb skin and making her wince in pain.

What was she doing? Was she really about to jump off a building just to test a theory out?

What if it failed? The pain in her cheek would pale in comparison to what would happen should she fall.

And the people waiting for her back home, thinking she was off paying her respects to an old friend. Gilyeong and Eunjung would be destroyed.

Ahyeong stepped back. No, she couldn't do this. She wasn't planning on dying today. Or anytime soon really.

She'd just have to get used to living here—

TURN.

Song Ahyeong stepped closer to the edge of the building, awaiting her doom.

What the fuck!? She didn't want to die, shit, shit, shit—

The LED screen behind her lit up in hues of pink and purple, colorful shadows falling on her dress that did nothing against the frigid wind.

Jung Seyeon's face graced the billboard in the distance, an ode from the people to celebrate the day he was born, and an apology for being the reason he died.

One more step and she would fall. No, no, one more step and she'd fall—

Ahyeong leaned forward closing her eyes for the last time.

NO!

And so, she fell backward.

Wait, backward?

TURN.

Ahyeong barely registered the iron grip on her wrist before it was tugged hard, her stiletto losing its balance and twisting her foot at an unnatural angle.

She widened her eyes as her vision blurred, surroundings moving too fast, and braced herself for the impact on the rough concrete.

It never came.

Instead, she fell on the person who had taken the liberty of pulling her back, and subsequently saving her. Groaning, she raised her head, squinting against the bright light of the advertisement.

"What a relief," Suho breathed out.

The ColorBeauty commercial cast the glow of its neon colors over their faces, and as the faint melody of Seyeon's voice filled the silence in the air, Song Ahyeong knew that somehow, she had fucked up.

masterlist

© 2021 Alfia Sheikh, All Rights Reserved

[gravegroves]

“11. Billy” seems mysterious ! pls I must know more

11. Billy

The actual fic is named so too, as that's the way Billy signs all his postcards. The fic is about Claudia Henderson giving Billy a lift from the hospital to the airport and about the postcards he sends her from his trip. It's eventual Harringrove, but I haven't gotten that far yet. Here's a weird assortment of snippets from the fic:

As they pass the turn-off for Hawkins, the road Claudia would have originally taken to get home, Billy sinks down into his seat beside her, turning his head away from the town sign to stare straight ahead, jaw clenched.

"You from Hawkins, too, Billy?" Claudia ventures, curiosity and concern competing for first place.

"Not from that shithole," Billy mutters. Claudia frowns. "Lived there until yesterday."

"Oh, you're moving?"

Billy barks a harsh laugh and Claudia flinches a little in surprise.

"Got a bedside visit from the old man to tell me not to bother coming back to get my shit. After everything and he's the one that gets to slam the door in my face--" Billy's voice cuts off, his breathing harsh and uneven.

Claudia tightens her hands on the steering wheel.

*****

"Help yourself."

Billy gives her a look that tells her he doesn't have much confidence in her taste, but he opens the glove compartment and pulls out a box of tapes. She can hear the click clack of him looking through them all, reading the labels and discarding them one by one before he stops.

Curious, Claudia looks over. In his hand, Billy holds a familiar, well-loved tape.

"Oh, I haven't listened to them in a while. Pop it in!"

"You like Led Zeppelin?" Billy asks, choked, like his whole world is turning upside down.

Claudia laughs, "Oh yes. I wanted Stairway to Heaven played at my wedding, but my husband wouldn't allow it."

"And you still married him?" Billy grins, somehow brighter and more real than any he's given up so far. Claudia feels a little proud of it somehow.

"Well, he's now my ex husband, if that helps."

Billy's grin only grows wider. None of the usual averted eyes and condolences Claudia typically prepares herself for. It's refreshing. "Good for you."

*****

"You call me when you get where you're going, alright honey?" She says, "Let me know that you're not dead in a ditch somewhere."

Billy nods, folds the paper securely into his threadbare wallet. He looks back through the window at her.

"You're the only person worth anything in that fucking town, Ms Henderson."

She smiles, "Oh, I think we both know that isn't quite true."

His face goes distant. Claudia watches him, silently.

"Maybe."

He hesitates again. 

"Thanks, Claudia." He slaps the edge of the open window, straightens up with an air of finality and adjusts the duffle bag on his shoulder.

"You take care, Billy." 

She watches him walk into the airport. He never turns to look back.

*****

Steve is sleeping on the couch when Claudia gets home. The boy is sitting in the sofa chair in front of the muted TV, neck bent at an odd angle, mouth open and drooling on his own shoulder.

She wakes him gently, coaxes him half asleep out of the chair and down the hall into the tiny guest bedroom.

He collapses onto the bed, out like a light before she can bid him goodnight. The boy never seems to get enough sleep, so she's happy to leave him there instead of sending him back to that lonely, empty house of his. She throws a blanket over him, knows it's not her place to pet his hair and give him hugs unless he asks it of her. So instead she makes sure his feet are covered, knows by now that if Steve's feet get too cold that it'll wake him and keep him up until they're warm again.

Before going to bed herself, Claudia checks on her son. She notices the light coming from under his door and sighs a little before she gently knocks. There's no reply. She cracks the door open and peers in. Dustin is tucked into bed, his bedside lamp on and a book collapsed over his face.

With a small smile and a shake of her head, she moves into the room. Gently peels the book away, marking the page with a bookmark before placing it on the bedside table. She tugs one stray arm down -- knows her Dusty has a tendency to sleep with his arms above his head and wakes up with them half numb and hurting -- before she tucks him in and kisses his curly head.

She turns off the light and closes the door on the way out, ready for bed herself and happy knowing her boys are safe and sound and close.

*****

The last time Claudia cried herself to sleep was the day she accepted that Mews wasn't coming home. She's an easy crier, it doesn't take much. She'd cried as she picked up Tews from the shelter and again the first time she woke up with him sleeping at the foot of her bed. 

This time is different. When the first sob escapes her, it feels like it's being wrenched out of her by force, like a cork out of a bottle, leaving her helpless to stop the grief from pouring out. She feels like she might explode from the emotions if she doesn't let it happen, so she just… lets it all out. Bawls into a pillow, hugs it to her chest when she can manage to breathe without great heaving keens and stares into the dark.

She cries for Dustin, her darling boy who's been so brave for so long, for Steve with his absent parents and desperate need for company, for Billy and the kind of life that leads a boy to wherever he is now. Maybe even a little for herself.

Being a single mother hasn't always been easy. Claudia has gone without more times than she can count, but that's on her. She brought Dustin into this world and for that she owes him the best life she can give him. Even when that means divorcing her no-good husband. Even when she struggled to make ends meet and put food on the table. Things are okay now, but there was a time not too long ago when her tiny family had been one injury away from losing everything.

Even then, she knows things could've been so much worse.

She imagines Gene doing to Dustin what she suspects Neil Hargrove has done to Billy. Or abandoning him to a lonely hell like the one Lorne and Kate Harrington have left Steve in and she buries her face into the pillow yet again.

Claudia is definitely not the only good person in Hawkins, but she thinks there are far fewer than she might've once thought.

*****

Billy doesn't call. 

Claudia knows there could be a multitude of reasons for why that is, the most likely of which being that Billy simply doesn't want to. She still feels a little ball of worry forming in her stomach.

The first post card arrives two months later. It's short and to the point, but Claudia feels such immense relief that each word feels precious to her.

Not dead yet. Prague is nice.

Billy

Claudia clears the cork board she has up for reminders and shopping lists and pins the picture of a beautiful European town where she can see it every day.

*****

Karen Wheeler is someone Claudia knows by association. They've exchanged the usual niceties while picking up their kids from each other's houses and should they pass on the street they smile and nod to each other at the very least. Claudia knows Karen Wheeler, but they aren't friends and they certainly don't frequent the same social circles.

Claudia likes her book clubs, her cats, her knitting. She enjoys a quiet and comfortable existence after a life of too much family drama and financial strain.

Karen Wheeler likes… well, none of those things. Which simply means that conversation doesn't exactly flow between them unless they're talking about their sons.

Today, talking at length seems unavoidable. Dustin and his friends are insisting that they need another fifteen minutes to finish up their English presentation and Karen is standing at the front door looking done up and impatient.

Claudia, of course, invites her inside for a cup of coffee while they wait for the children to finish up.

It's as they're both sitting at the dining table that Karen spots the cork board.

"Is that Billy Hargrove?" She points to the latest photo he'd sent her, tacked over the letter that came with it. Claudia opens her mouth to respond, but instead watches, speechless as Karen gets up and untacks them both before bringing them both back to the table.

Claudia swallows down an annoyed comment and smiles politely.

"Yes, that's Billy." She says, before going on to explain how she came about meeting the boy.

"He sends you postcards?" Karen's eyebrows shoot up towards her hairline, corner of her mouth twitching and giving Claudia a look she can't quite discern.

"It's more of a favour to me," She laughs "I asked him to let me know if he made it safely so I didn't have to worry and since then he's been nice enough to keep my mind at ease. You do hear about such awful things happening to young travellers, it's good to keep track."

"That's… that's very sweet of you, Claudia."

Claudia wraps her hands around her mug and frowns a little. "Someone needs to care about that boy."

"Oh, of course." Karen says, looking slightly taken aback.

"If his parents won't, then that someone might as well be me."

Karen hums and goes back to looking at the photo. "He's rather good looking, don't you think?" 

Frowning at the incredibly odd change in subject, Claudia opens her mouth to answer when the words really begin to sink in. She closes her mouth and stares. 

Unaware of Claudia's scrutiny, Karen continues. "Did he send other photos? I'd love to see them."

Claudia opens her mouth again and knows she's about to tell a lie. She's interrupted by Mike sulkily appearing in the doorway to the kitchen.

Karen gets up. "All finished?" She asks and doesn't seem bothered at all when Mike ignores her and disappears out into the hallway to put his shoes on.

"Thank you so much for the coffee, Claudia. Please, don't get up, I'll let us out."

She rummages around her purse before she takes out a pen and piece of paper. She scribbles something Claudia quickly realises is her address and phone number before she slides it across the table. She clears her throat.

"You're right to be so worried for Billy, he needs all the support he can get. Maybe… maybe I could write to him as well? The more people that care, the better."

It's only when the front door closes that Claudia realises that the photo is gone.

There is a moment where she stares at the spot where the picture should be, right beside the letter, completely dumbstruck by the sheer audacity of Karen Wheeler. And she might have let it go under different circumstances, but Claudia has been on this earth long enough to know when to trust her gut, and her gut is telling her to not let Karen get her hands on any piece of Billy Hargrove, no matter how small.

Emboldened, she snatches the piece of paper off the kitchen counter and runs to the front door. When she steps out onto the driveway the Wheelers have already gotten into the car.

Claudia marches up to the car without hesitation and knocks on the window. Karen looks surprised for a second, then rolls it down.

Without a word, Claudia sticks her hand in, palm flat and face up.

They stare at each other.

The other woman tries for confusion for a few seconds, before she, rather guiltily, reaches into her purse and takes out the photo.

Claudia snatches it out of her hand before she can give it over and the woman flinches slightly.

"I don't think this will be necessary." She tosses the crumpled piece of paper through the open window, turns about and marches back up to the house without a backward glance.

She doesn't miss Mike's "What just happened?" Drifting out into the evening air, but she's too angry, too… something to care in that moment.

When she's back in the kitchen she calls Steve and invites the boy to dinner with her and Dusty.

I have much more, but I don't want to flood peoples feed. So I'll leave it at that.

[julemmaes]

Oksy so don’t feel like you have to do this but nesta and the kids go out grocery shopping and they bump into THOMAS FUCKING MANDARY and Nesta gets super overwhelmed but she’s got the kids and shit so she pretends she’s fine

But later cass comes home and the kids tell him what happens.

(and maybe they have a talk on important stuff about being with someone who loves you and if someone hurts you they don’t love you and it’s beautiful Idk)

Loving And Caring

Nessian modern au set in the The Seven Of Us universe (masterlist)

acotar next gen fan fiction

A/N: This is the reason I’m gonna fail my English exam, so please enjoy:)

The children’s ages: Ezra is 11, Cal is 6, Nora is 3 and Celia is 2. Andra is kinda not born yet.

DON’T COME FOR ME FOR BEING SLOW AS FUCK OR FOR WRITING SUCH ANGSTY PROMPTS. I HAVE 70+ IN MY ASKS BOX AND THEY’RE ALL SO ANSGTY

Word count: 8,185

"I want it!"

"I don't-"

"No, I want this!"

"I said I wanted it first."

"You did not!"

"Mom!"

Nesta Archeron had been called many things in her life. Daughter first. Then sister and friend, woman. She had been appreciated by all the professors she had had the honor of meeting during her studies, who had called her the best in her classes. She had finally found someone who had sincerely called her love and then wife, and she would not give up that last acquired, very important title of mom for anything in the world, but-

Right then she just wanted to strap her kids to the cart and run.

Walking down the cereal aisle, she ran a hand over her swollen, ready-to-burst belly, realizing that she would have to trip and fall on her bump if she wanted to end the problem for good. The baby girl, for whom they still hadn't chosen a name, would be born in a few weeks, and if she didn't get rid of her, too, she would never find peace.

She giggled - or at least she thought she did - at those morbid, disturbing thoughts for which many people would surely have her locked up in a mental hospital, if they found out how often she admitted to wanting to abandon her children.

It had been such a tiring day. She had been home from work for a couple of months now, this fifth pregnancy was breaking her down physically and mentally. She was at the end, in her eighth month, but she would much rather have the last baby out and inside the cart with her sisters by now.

Celia and Nora were babbling something in their imperfect language, and Nesta's heart clenched for her little men at the thought that they would be outnumbered in a few weeks. She and Cassian had experienced that feeling only three years before, and yet she still hadn't forgotten the terror she had felt at the idea of her children turning against them.

They had created a small army.

Casting a quick glance at Ezra who was sneaking something into the cart, she huffed. If the others noticed that he had put a package of junk food in the basket, that would be the end of it.

Moments later, in fact, Cal was looking at the colored bag in the still empty cart with suspicious eyes, and Nesta wasn't going to wait for the fight over who could buy the most junk food that day to begin.

"Ezra, put the snacks back," she said rubbing her hands over her eyes.

Celia mumbled something as she sat inside the cart, and Nora, silently settled next to her, nodded, as if she understood what the other was talking about. It shouldn't have shocked her, but Nesta never ceased to be amazed by that way of communicating that only the two of them understood.

Ezra's icy eyes turned sad when he looked at her and he pouted, "But mom I need them for snacks for school."

Cal looked at him with a furrowed brow, "No you don't. I need them." then he turned to Nesta, "But I don't like these, can I have those?" he asked with a bright smile pointing across the aisle with a wave of his arm.

She leaned forward, sighing and not answering him. Nora looked up at her and reached out her hands toward her mom, letting her know she wanted to be held, but Nesta was aching.

Cal and Ezra hadn't stopped bickering for half a second, and Celia had cried all day because she wanted her dada. Nora had stayed in Nesta's arms the entire walk to the grocery store, and one way or another she knew she would have to carry her all the way back home as well, despite the unbearable back pain. It was less than two kilometers, but with a pregnancy running out and only one hand to restrain any possible child who threatened to throw themselves under the cars whizzing by, it became more mental work than physical.

When Nesta smiled lovingly at her, trying to make her understand that she couldn't hold her right then, Cal burst into tears.

Her daughters' little heads snapped up at their brother, and Nesta cursed herself for deciding to do something as stupid as taking her four young children to the grocery store on an evening when they were all visibly on edge and stressed.

"Dear, what happened?" she asked without even an ounce of concern in her voice. She knew full well that it was just a tantrum. She got confirmation of that when Ezra replied in a whiny tone that they couldn't both buy snacks, or they wouldn't know how to carry them home. At that point Cal's cry became a proper scream and Nesta had to close her eyes to avoid the judgmental stares of the people passing by.

She brought her hands to her temples, massaging her forehead in circular motions, and when she thought she could handle it without throwing up on each of her children, she leaned against the cart, circling around Ezra and crouching with no small amount of difficulty in front of Cal. One hand on her back and the other still clinging to the cart, she grunted as she put one knee on the ground. She felt Nora's little hand rest on hers as she began to speak, "Listen kiddo, we're all very tired and now your brother is going to put his snacks down too," she explained, giving Ezra an inquisitive look over her shoulder. The eldest son rolled his eyes, but he had Celia hand him the package and snortingly put it back. Cal sobbed, sniffling, and Nesta laid a hand on his shoulder, massaging his arm. "How about we read a book together tonight before bed?"

The boy's face scrunched up in a grimace of sadness, "But I want snacks." he sobbed louder. Nesta bit her lip, knowing full well that the fat tears on his cheeks weren't really for the snacks and that she couldn't give in and let them all buy something or she'd end up with two bags full of junk food to carry.

Cal hadn't slept that afternoon, as had everyone else, because of Celia's endless crying, and she hadn't wanted to take her afternoon nap until it was too late and Nora and Cal had gotten out of bed to go play in their rooms. At that point Nesta had been forced to let Celia go, but she knew that had meant agreeing to spend an evening with frustrated and not-rested children.

She was about to respond when a couple of older ladies walked by them, casting an annoyed look at Cal. Nesta would have liked to respond with an ugly hand gesture, but she couldn't do it in front of her children.

In that moment of distraction she hadn't realized that Celia had also started calling her and now, casting a quick glance at her daughter, she felt a very bad feeling sink into her stomach at the sight of the little girl's tear-filled eyes.

She looked at Ezra, taking a deep breath, and noticed that even the oldest of her children seemed bothered by the course of action Nesta had taken. She felt tremendous guilt at seeing that the only one of her children who didn't seem disappointed or angry with her was Nora.

It all got worse when one of the two ladies who had just passed her said loud enough so she could hear her, "I don't understand why some people don't stop with their first child. It's obvious she can't even handle one, listen to her screaming."

Nesta felt the emotion grow in her throat.

"When someone isn't born to be a parent, it shows immediately. She's one of those awful mothers who doesn't know how to take care of her children." the other added.

Nesta caught her breath, fixing her gaze in Cal's. Celia was crying by now, spluttering to be picked up as she tried to keep her balance inside the cart.

She wasn't going to answer. She wasn't going to answer.

"Let's go home." she whispered suddenly, laying a hand on the small of her back and pulling herself up with a tremendous effort, a twinge of pain went through her legs and back, "Cal, dear, we'll buy the snacks another time, for now we'll just take the bread and milk, tomorrow come back with daddy and take whatever you want, okay?" she spoke quickly, in a high, steady voice so that all four of them could hear her. She just hoped they didn't hear how desperately she was trying not to burst into tears over what the ladies had just said.

Cal nodded, wiping his nose with the sleeve of his shirt and immediately stopping crying. Ezra looked thoughtful, but he too had stopped pouting. The only one who still looked upset was Celia, who followed her by walking inside the cart, moving where she stood.

Seeing the little girl's red face and dripping nose, arms outstretched toward her, Nesta heard only the words "awful mother" repeated in her mind.

With a knot in her throat and a cry that she was sure would break free as soon as she stepped into the house, Nesta pushed forward, bumping the cart with her belly as she picked up Celia and placed her on her side. The little girl immediately stopped crying, resting her head on her mother's shoulder and cupping her tiny hand over her shirt.

Now, beyond the emotional wound that had just been inflicted on her, Nesta could feel the pain in her back growing with every step she took. She bit the inside of her cheek, trying to stop a sob that threatened to break that composed attitude she had.

Everything hurt so bad.

Cal was running in front of them all, stomping his feet on the ground and making the little lights on his shoes glow. Ezra was walking beside her, one hand on the edge of the cart as he mouthed off to Nora, but he had to stop when Nesta froze in the middle of the aisle, taking an abrupt breath. She brought a hand to her belly, feeling the baby move and kick, only adding to the pain.

"Ezra, love," she breathed, stepping aside and holding Celia against her side, then asked between her teeth as the baby continued her assault inside her, "could you push the cart?"

He nodded, his face lighting up as if she had asked him to take control of a ship.

Celia began to squirm on her side and Nesta had the urge to drop her, not voluntarily, but it all hurt so much that her body was begging her to sit up, to take all that unnecessary weight off her arms.

At the idea that she would have to walk home she felt her eyes grow heavy with tears.

She put Celia back in the cart, breathing a sigh of relief as some of the pain eased in her lower back. Nora was now standing and smiling at Ezra, who was struggling to see where he was going past his sister.

Nesta looked up just as Cal hopped out of the aisle and fell to the ground, crashing into someone's cart. Or rather, as someone ran over him with their cart and slamming him to the ground.

She didn't even think about it as she started walking as fast as her body would allow towards her son, leaving the other three behind. By the time she reached him, Cal was standing there laughing in amusement and was running his hands over his pants to get the dust off his palms. Once she made sure he wasn't hurt, she was ready to yell at whoever had dropped her son, ready to take out all her frustration and doubts on the stranger, when she heard a voice that sent chills down her spine.

"Nesta Archeron?"

She moved her head so fast she was surprised she hadn't snapped her neck, but her brain didn't have time to process the pain the jolt had caused her, because there standing before her was Tomas Mandray.

She couldn't believe it.

Any thought of yelling at the stranger vanished like an echo in her mind.

How was it possible that he was there?

"Is it really you?" he asked her with wide eyes and an incredulous smile on his face. He circled the cart, shifting his gaze to Cal, and Nesta felt the overwhelming instinct to grab her son and hide him behind her. When Tomas reached out a hand toward him, ruffling his hair, she felt vomit rise in her throat. They had to get out of that place immediately. "I can't believe it." he voiced her thoughts, "Is this yours?" he asked looking into her eyes again.

This... he was talking about Cal.

She couldn't find the words and continued to stare at the man in front of her with wide eyes - scared eyes, if you knew Nesta, if you knew where to look. And Tomas knew it. Tomas had always known it.

She heard Ezra reach them, and then something slammed into her side. She didn't need to lower her head to catch a glimpse of Nora's little pigtails of black hair or hear Celia's amused giggle.

Tomas snorted a laugh out of his nose, crossing his arms over his chest, "Are they all yours?" then moved his gaze to her belly to bring it back up to her breasts and Nesta wanted to say something to him, to insult him, to hit him, to take him away from her children, but she felt her heart pounding in her throat and the air couldn't reach her lungs.

That tone-

That tone wasn't of someone who was happy to hear that you'd made a new life for yourself after they'd managed to destroy you completely. It wasn't the tone of an old friend who you hadn't seen in years and who you're about to agree to hang out with and tell them about everything that happened in your lives.

No, it was the tone he had used every day, every hour, when he needed to belittle her, when he needed to make her feel insignificant, worthless.

"Mom?"

Nesta turned her head so slowly toward her son, blinking, that she must have seemed like another person entirely. No longer the proud, strong woman she'd shown everyone for years on that side. Ezra had one eyebrow arched, as if wondering what was going on, and was clasping hands with a jumping Celia.

She didn't have the energy to turn around, to look at the man who had pushed her to the bottom of the barrel and destroyed her, but she managed to throw out a weak, "Kids we have to go, we're not taking anything." then turning to Cal, she took his arm, pulling him towards his siblings, "Let's go."

She felt Tomas' eyes creeping over her like slimy hands. She could still remember the last time he'd touched her, when she'd gone over the edge, offering herself to him to avoid yet another fight or worse.

For that, when his true hand tightened around her wrist, pulling her slightly to let her stay there, she flinched.

"Nesta."

She spun around, bringing her free hand to her belly for protection. When the little girl inside her kicked again, making her groan through her teeth in pain, Tomas smiled in a way that made Nesta hope she was anywhere but there.

"Is she kicking?"

And then it all happened quickly. She couldn't move, couldn't pull away, as the grip on her wrist tightened and Tomas pulled her closer to him and placed his other hand on her stomach, next to hers. A soundless sob escaped her control and her breath labored as she felt his fingers move over her shirt.

She was going to throw up.

She gave a tug so hard that the twinge of pain started at her wrist and reached her elbow, but she was free. She smacked the hand on her, taking several steps back and bringing Cal with her. She had started pushing the front of the cart, trying to position it in the direction they had come from.

She met Ezra's gaze for a moment, before her son's eyes slipped behind her, on Tomas' figure.

"Ezra." she called to him in a firm voice. Four pairs of eyes snapped in his direction. That was the tone of a tired mother issuing orders to her children at the end of the day, "Eyes on me."

She didn't want anything of Tomas's to come into contact with her children. She didn't want him to contaminate them the way he had contaminated her.

She lifted Cal off the ground and the child quietly let her pick him up without too much of a fuss. She didn't feel the strain at all as she pulled him high enough to put him in the cart with the girls. Looking at her oldest, she hoped she could secure him like she was doing with the other three, but he was too big to fit in the cart himself.

Before she could tell him to follow her without saying a word, Tomas spoke again.

"What a beautiful name, Ezra," she felt the venom bind each letter.

Ezra was about to turn around, probably to thank him, as she and Cassian had taught him, but Nesta squeezed his shoulder, "Keep looking ahead and walking, I don't want you talking to him."

"Always so fucking obnoxious," Tomas spat at that point.

Nesta froze in her tracks. She could feel him following them as he tortured her. Ezra froze beside her, tugging at her sleeve to get her attention.

Always so obnoxious. You're useless, worthless. I'm the only person who will ever be able to put up with your bullshit. You'll never find anyone else.

She felt the panic rise, the agitation for one of her children to realize how uncomfortable she was at that moment. She closed and opened her hands on the cart's handlebars, hoping to relieve some of that tension.

"I'm amazed to see you with so many children," he continued, creeping up beside her and stopping in front of her cart, blocking her way with his. She looked up at him, feeling the air scratch at her throat. He had aged, she could see it in the features around his eyes, his mouth - he had aged and yet still had the same look. "I didn't think you'd ever date again after I left you."

I left you. She wanted to tell him. I had the courage to leave.

She didn't answer him, straightening her back.

Tomas smirked, lowering his gaze to her daughters and his smile widened even more.

"Don't look at them," she snapped, still maintaining her composure.

The man looked up at her one more time, "They'll be just as pretty as their mother when they grow up." then looked at Cal and Ezra, sliding a finger over the edge of his cart. "Who's the father?"

"Dada." muttered Celia, flapping her little hands.

Nesta wanted to recoil at the sound. She didn't want Tomas to hear her talk, didn't want him to watch them. She didn't want them breathing his same air.

"It's none of your business and now move over," she whispered to him. All she could think about was the fact that she had to get her children out of there as soon as possible. Therefore, when he didn't move an inch, she added. "Please."

Tomas laughed. He laughed, leaning his head back and clutching his hand around the mesh of her cart. "Nessie Nessie," he clicked his tongue on his palate, a remnant of laughter in the tone of his voice that made the woman's gut tangle, "I haven't seen you in so long. I want to know everything."

"Please." she repeated, as her eyes filled with tears. His own widened slightly, surprised to see such a reaction in her. She didn't care if he saw her weak, she didn't care if she had to get down on her knees. He was keeping them trapped, and Nesta knew he wouldn't let them leave until he squeezed even the last drop of sanity out of her.

If Ezra still realized what was going on, she didn't know, and it scared her even more. Cal was looking at her and looked worried, probably having never seen her so shaken in her life.

She was about to beg him a third time. Beg him to free her from whatever that game was that they were stuck in at that moment, but someone said her name. Ezra looked behind them and Nesta saw the shadow of a smile on his face, prompting her to turn around in turn. A choked sound escaped her throat as she bit her upper lip to keep from bursting into tears, and a wave of gratitude washed over her.

"Miss Archeron," the man smiled at her. Drakon Cretea had been Nesta and Cassian's neighbor for years now. He and his wife Myriam had babysat their children so many times that they were their go-to people. In fact, Celia and Nora had snapped to their feet at the sound of the voice of the acquired grandfather they loved so much.

Nesta didn't waste a moment turning the cart so that it faced Drakon. The children, Ezra included, began to cheer happily at having met a familiar face, and Nesta allowed herself to look over her shoulder.

With such relief that she thought she might collapse to the ground, she saw that Tomas was already pulling away, and as he turned the corner, pulling into another aisle, she took a deep breath through her nose, closing her eyes.

She had made it.

***

Cassian was exhausted.

He had spent the entire day grading exams for first-year students with his aide, and it was as if he could see the letters behind his eyelids every time he blinked. It was much more feasible to work in the university library, where he didn't risk being interrupted by a child every five minutes, but he only tried to do it once or twice a month during exam sessions, knowing full well how exhausting it was for Nesta to keep up with all the children together until late in the evening, especially now that Andra was about to arrive.

"Andra." he murmured into the silence of his car. Nesta kept telling him that they weren't sure that would be the name of their fifth child, but Cassian didn't care. He just needed to name his wife's belly when talking to his daughter.

He breathed a sigh of relief as he turned off the car in the driveway and stepped out, stretching his arms up just enough to make his back crack.

Glancing at the watch on his wrist, he huffed. It was too late for his girls to still be awake, but maybe he'd be able to say goodnight to Cal and Ezra.

He had warned Nesta that he was going to be late, and she had simply replied that she would leave dinner ready in the kitchen for when he returned.

Opening the front door, he immediately saw two little dark heads popping up from above the couch. Cal was already running at him when he closed the door behind him and jumped on him as soon as he had put his stuff down, "Dad!"

"Kiddo!" said Cassian throwing him into the air.

Cal laughed waving his arms, "Sssh," he scolded him still laughing, "the girls are sleeping."

"Oops," dad made a guilty face, stopping their game and putting Cal down.

Ezra was too focused on watching TV and wasn't paying the slightest attention to Cassian, but he walked over to the couch anyway, lowering himself just enough so he could leave a kiss on his hair, "Hi love." he murmured to him.

The little boy's head snapped toward him and with a crooked smile on his face and his pajama collar in his mouth, he said, "Hi dad."

Cassian scoffed amused, ripping his pajamas from between his teeth, "How many times have I told you not to eat your clothes?"

"Sorry," Ezra said, not sounding sorry at all.

Cal had gone back to lying next to his brother and they both seemed too caught up in the cartoon to pay any attention to it, so he went into the kitchen, loosening the tie around his neck and praying that Nesta had cooked something good - though the opposite was quite unlikely considering the woman's innate cooking skills.

He moaned with delight when he realized it was the meatballs she always made when she didn't feel like cooking and, taking the plate, he headed back to the living room. He plopped down in between his sons, taking the pajamas out of Ezra's mouth again and offering them both a meatball.

"So, what have you guys been up to today?" asked Cassian with a full mouth, slipping off his shoes and placing his feet on the coffee table.

First Cal and then Ezra told him in full detail about what they had done at school and then about the fact that none of them had slept that afternoon. Cassian was surprised to find out that Cal could still stand up without getting any rest.

When they got to the point where Nesta had taken them out walking and they had made it all the way to the supermarket, he had stopped them.

"Guys come on," he looked at them with incredulous eyes, "I told you to keep her home."

It was true. Lately Nesta had been pushing her limits when the doctors had told her to exert herself and stress as little as possible. With childbirth imminent too, it was risky for her to walk around without any other adults.

Ezra had the decency to look guilty, "I know, but-"

"We also met a weird dude," Cal interrupted him.

Cassian looked at him taking on a confused expression, "Weird?"

"Yeah, he knew mom," Ezra nodded, looking at the TV and talking thoughtlessly. He was bowing his head slowly and Cassian unconsciously extended a hand towards him, shutting his mouth before he could start chewing on the fabric once again. He looked at him at that point, continuing the story, "Mom was all weird, though."

"Weird." repeated Cassian.

"Yeah, weird." repeated Cal in turn, then chuckled, "He even hit me with the cart."

He and Ezra laughed together, remembering how Cal had fallen on his bum, but Cassian's thoughts were elsewhere. Clearly the fact that someone had rolled his son with a cart must not have been traumatic or painful, or Nesta would have called him and Cal wouldn't have been there laughing, but the fact that they had described her with an adjective like "weird" had him on high alert.

"Do you happen to know the man's name?" asked Cassian, pulling himself up and setting his plate down on the coffee table, keeping his gaze on his hands.

Ezra shook his head, "No, also because mom didn't talk to him much and then Drakon showed up."

"Oh, yeah," Cal repeated excitedly, his eyes glowing, "then Drakon showed up."

Cassian was on his feet before his youngest son had finished speaking. He started up the stairs to go upstairs, where he hoped he would find Nesta awake, but warned the two little men that he would go change and be back down to them in a jiffy.

With a strained expression and a bad feeling working its way through him, he walked down the hall, opening the door to his daughters' room slightly. Both Celia and Nora were already fast asleep, and Cassian felt a smile break out on his lips... his little gems. He couldn't believe yet another one would be arriving soon.

He closed the door, making sure not to make any noise, and then headed to his room, praying that Nesta was okay and that his children had misunderstood everything.

He heard her before he even entered. He could picture her pacing back and forth through their room, muttering about what was bothering her at the moment.

He took a deep breath, ready to fight whatever demons there would be to fight that night together, and tightening his hand around the doorknob, he lowered it, pushing himself into the room.

Nesta stopped short, both hands wrapped under her belly to help support that extra weight she was always complaining about.

The second Cassian's eyes found hers, her expression completely transformed and a desperate sob broke the silence that had formed between them.

"Nesta." he said as if someone had just sucked the air from his lungs. Reaching for her with two quick strides and wrapping her in his arms, Cassian heard all kinds of emotion in his wife's crying.

When he stroked her back, Nesta let go a wail of pain and he immediately pulled away, still keeping his hands around her elbows as much as her cold hands tightened around his forearms.

"God, Nesta what happened?"

She only cried harder, loosening her grip on him when she was sure he wouldn't pull away. She managed to say between sobs, "Everything hurts."

Cassian felt as if the floor has cracked open beneath them. "Is it the baby?"

Nesta's eyes went wide, probably only realizing at that moment what state he'd found her in, "No, she's fine." then, seeing his increasingly worried expression, she added, "I promise the baby's fine."

Cassian sagged at little, reducing his lips to a thin line, gently pushed her towards the bed to get her to sit up, but Nesta shook her head, taking short, overly fast breaths, "I can't."

Cassian paused, taking her hands and trying to restrain himself from asking her who they had met that afternoon that had managed to trigger such a reaction in her. There was no way she could have been in that state just from being tired.

"I can't." repeated Nesta sobbing and looking into his eyes. "Everything hurts, Cassian."

He sighed, closing his eyes. Seeing her in this state was nothing new unfortunately. With four pregnancies behind them and everything they'd been through in the years prior to their marriage, it wasn't unusual for either of them to be in such a condition.

He opened his eyes, trying to keep a firm tone, "How come you can't sit down?"

"If I sit the pain gets worse." she said between choked breaths.

Cassian furrowed his brow, wanting to yell at her about how stupid it had been of her to go walking that afternoon, but he restrained himself. "Have you tried lying down?" he proposed.

Nesta shook her head again, "Any position hurts my back or my legs," she explained.

"Tell you what," he began hesitantly, taking both of her hands, "why don't you put on those super pants that support your belly - or I'll help you put them on, it's no problem," he added quickly when he saw the pain in her features, "and then I'll give you a leg massage while you're standing?" he said smiling at her coyly. Nesta sniffed, nodding slowly. "And when sitting doesn't hurt anymore or is bearable you get on your knees on the bed or lean against the keyboard and I massage your back too, are you up for that?"

She squeezed his hands to let him know she was okay with everything, so Cassian smiled at her, returning the squeeze and starting to pull away from her to go get the leggings, but Nesta's eyes went wide and a few tears rolled down her cheeks, "Where are you going?"

Cassian grimaced worriedly.

Why hadn't she called him if she was feeling this bad?

He moved back as close as he could without crushing Andra between them, "I was just going to get my pajamas, Nes, and your pants." he placed a hand on her face, stroking away the remnants of her crying. Then he sighed, pushing her forehead into his and keeping his eyes open as he whispered, "I love you."

She repeated it quietly, almost a sigh.

He undressed quickly, slipping into his pajamas with equal haste as Nesta stood motionless in the center of the room, waiting for him to return to her.

"Listen," Cassian began, kneeling in front of her as he helped her out of the pajama pants she was wearing, "the boys told me you met someone today." he forced himself to look at her, when the grip on his shoulder suddenly tightened. Cassian studied the reaction he'd elicited from her and bit the inside of his cheek, seeing how Nesta had frozen and put her foot down. He took a deep breath, giving her knee a little tap to let her know she needed to get it back up, "They didn't tell me who it was and I don't think they know, but I got some ideas and I want-" he swallowed loudly, thinking seriously about what might have happened if his doubts were real, "If it's Tomas, I want to know if you're okay." he said in a lower voice, looking at her from under his lashes. Nesta didn't answer.

He had managed to get both of her feet into her pants and was pulling them up gently, trying not to hurt her. He had to pull up the skirt of the robe she used during all her pregnancies when none of her pajamas fit anymore, uncovering her belly and left a gentle kiss on her skin, smiling at his daughter, "Hello my little sunshine."

He felt Nesta shiver and thinking it was from the cold he hurried to cover her belly with her pants and then pull her nightgown down.

He looked at her more seriously than ever as he settled on the floor in front of her so he could massage her into a comfortable position. He was about to speak, to ask her again how she was doing, but she beat him to it.

"What did you do today?" she asked in a weak voice.

Cassian closed his mouth, bouncing his legs, pondering whether to insist that she spoke or let her distract him with that question. He decided for the latter, even though his wife already knew very well what he had done that day, "This morning there was an exam of Ancient History for the first years." he began to speak while pressing his thumbs on her left thigh. Nesta was leaning her hands on his shoulders. "I have to be honest, I've never seen exams as crappy and ignorant as this session's," he continued while keeping his gaze fixed on her face. "It's like people stopped studying all of a sudden and thought they could pass my exams by learning the bare minimum."

He shifted on her other thigh and Nesta snapped forward, groaning softly as Cassian touched a particularly numb muscle.

"Sorry." he smiled at her, "Then at lunch I stayed in the faculty with Gwyn and Luc, and by the way, they asked me if you'd be okay with organizing a lunch this weekend, with everyone?"

Nesta rolled her eyes, "I can't even walk, let alone plan a lunch with everyone," she pointed out to him in an irritated tone.

Cassian chuckled, "I'll let Gwyn know you told her to fuck off nicely."

"Yes, thank you," she replied to him. But then she bit her lip, thoughtfully, "But if they want to do something at her or Elain's that's fine. I can also cook, but not here, please, I don't feel like tidying up afterwards." she looked into his eyes with a pleading look.

"It's okay, it's not a problem," he shifted to her calves, "Although, if the only problem has to be the fact that you don't feel like tidying up, you know I wouldn't let you."

Nesta grunted, "I don't want you to do all the work yourself."

Cassian let out a puff of air through his nostrils, "You can't be the only one working hard in this house Nes, let me have some of the glory too." he joked.

"But I'm not the only one." she said in an overly serious tone, "You're always at work and I know you're working overtime, filling in for your colleagues, don't think I haven't noticed," she scolded him. Cassian lowered his head, feeling his cheeks turn red. "And I'm here at home and I can't work and I've been like this for months now and even before that with Celia-" she sighed, bringing a hand to her face, "I just wish I could help you bring something extra home."

Cassian stopped massaging her leg, surprised at what he was hearing. He moved away from her, enough so that he could stand up without bumping into her stomach and then looked at her, shaking his head, "What on earth are you talking about?" he asked, "Nesta you're raising our children. You're doing a much more tiring and exhausting job than mine ever will be." he pulled himself upright, "True, it's just as rewarding and enjoyable to be able to stay home and watch our children grow up, but you're the biggest help I could ever get right now. We don't need money right now."

"But-"

"No buts." he said arching his eyebrows and pushing her towards the bed, "Do you think you can sit?" she nodded pensively and let him help her up onto the mattress. "Nesta what you're doing is admirable and I'm sure not everyone could handle it as well as you can."

Nesta stopped in the middle of the bed, turning to look at him with a shocked expression.

Cassian was just as shocked. That she didn't realize how much she was actually helping him was beyond comprehension.

"I can only get by because you're there," she murmured, looking away, "I'd never make it on my own."

"And no one expects you to make it, Nes." he said stunned. He really couldn't understand where all the doubt was coming from, "You don't have to make it on your own and you're not doing it on your own."

He had her settled so that her back was to him and she was turned to the wall. He placed his hands over her back and began to make concise circles on the bottom, applying pressure where he knew the pain was most concentrated. Nesta's head fell forward in relief.

"You really don't think you're helping me in any way?"

"No, I-" she froze mid-sentence, "It's not that."

"Then what is it?" he asked, using his knuckles to massage her shoulder muscles.

Nesta groaned softly, "It's just that I wish I could go back to work and read all the books I want and I wish I could feel tired and be able to let my kids cry without anyone telling me what to do and how to do it. I wish I could move without the terror of going into labor at any moment and-" she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "I wish I wasn't so hormonal right now."

He could tell that her thoughts were all over the place.

There had been other such crises during Celia's pregnancy. The fear that they wouldn't measure up as parents to so many children. They were in constant thought that they were not giving them enough, that they were teaching them the wrong lessons. Cassian had received some nasty comments himself about how they were raising their children, and he knew right away that someone must have said something to Nesta that day.

They had always had stronger, more heartfelt reactions on her, and now that she was pregnant it was all much more altered.

"What happened today?" he asked her under his breath after a few moments of silence.

"No one slept, I didn't have a moment's peace and then we left and walked to the mall. I had to carry Nora all the way there and-" her voice broke on the last sentence and Cassian stopped his ministrations on her. He laid both hands on her back, getting as close as he could, letting his hands slide down her hips and then over her belly, until his chest made contact with her back and Nesta pushed back against him.

She dropped her head onto Cassian's shoulder.

"And?" he murmured, spurring her on.

"Everything hurt so much, Cass," she replied in a watery voice, "It was like I was being stabbed in the back and I couldn't put Nora down because she'd start crying."

A sharp twinge of pain shot through his chest. He began to gently massage her belly and shortly after he felt her small hands settle on his, pushing harder, "No one would try to say you're a bad mother just because you don't pick up your daughter when you're hurting."

She didn't answer.

"Celia?" he asked.

"Ezra and Cal held her hand the whole way, she walked so much," she said with a half smile on her face. "When we walked in they immediately started acting up and then they started crying and I couldn't take it anymore and these ladies said I was an awful mother and it's true, Cassian." she jerked in his arms as she said those last words. He only held her tighter, taking a deep breath. "Who is the mother who can't calm her own children when they cry? Her own children." she shook her head, running a hand under her eyes.

He couldn't see her face, but he knew she had started crying again.

"Nesta listen to me." he whispered to her, kissing her shoulder and then the tip of her ear. "You are the most loving and caring mother I know. Your children are perfectly healthy and you've never let them lack for anything. You've never raised your voice to them. You've never threatened them or grounded them-"

"I'm not a monster," she muttered.

"And more importantly," he said smiling and holding her tighter, "your children are happy."

"But Cal today-"

"Cal is downstairs watching TV with his brother and he's been telling me about his day and he's the happiest kid ever," he interrupted her, "Just because he threw a tantrum and cried a little doesn't mean you're not a good mother."

She sighed and nodded, though she didn't look convinced.

Cassian continued to stroke the spots on her belly where he knew her skin pulled the most, her hand still on his playing with the wedding ring on his finger when Nesta said, "I saw Tomas today."

Cassian froze behind her, holding his breath. He'd known it, but hearing the fear in her voice now as she said the name of the man Cassian hated most in the world didn't stop him from wincing.

"He bumped Cal with the cart and knocked him over and I didn't realize it was him until he called me," Nesta continued.

When Cassian spoke, his voice came out much harsher and tighter than he intended, "Did he-" he cleared his throat, "Did he say anything?"

"No, he-" Nesta brought both hands to her stomach, shifting his. She moved uncomfortably in his arms and Cassian loosened his grip on his wife, realizing she wanted to move. He grabbed her by the hips, trying to pull her up so she could turn toward him, and when she was finally sitting up with her back against the headboard of the bed, she sighed. "I saw him, Cass, and I froze." she said under her breath, looking into his eyes. "He touched Cal's hair and it was like he was touching me, again, and I completely froze and then the baby kicked and he touched my-" she took a ragged breath as her eyes filled with tears. When she spoke again, her voice was so weak that Cassian had to appeal to every ounce of his reasoning not to get up and go find Tomas to kill him.

He took her hands, remaining silent as a revolting feeling took over his body. The idea of Nesta being touched by that filthy man made his guts turn. The idea of his children-

A choked sob brought him back into the room, "And I wanted him to go and stop looking at Ezra and Celia and Nora and I could only move when Ezra called me, but he followed us and blocked our way. He asked me about you, wanted to know who you were, and it was like going back in time and I couldn't- I couldn't, Cass-" Nesta brought a hand to her chest, her eyes and mouth wide as panic appeared in her gaze and air struggled to reach her lungs.

Cassian squeezed her hands, speaking softly, "Nesta, it's okay." a sob from her, "You're all home." he murmured starting to massage her palm, "You're home with me."

Her breathing became even more erratic and she shook her head, closing her eyes.

Cassian closed his eyes as well, "I'm sorry you had to see him again and I'm sorry you couldn't move, but it's understandable, sweetheart." he was trying to keep his tone of voice relatively low, to calm her down, but it was proving difficult for him as he viewed Tomas watching his daughters. "He shouldn't have touched your belly. He shouldn't have just touched you at all. And he shouldn't have gotten close to Cal or Andra." he seethed. "And if I could I would go to him and rip his hands off." he let slip as he imagined the terror Nesta must have felt at that moment.

Nesta sobbed and the sound broke Cassian's heart, "I'm sorry," she said, "I'm sorry."

A pang of pain tightened in his chest as his face turned into a mask of controlled anger, "Don't ever apologize to me, please," he whispered, "Not for this stuff."

"But I couldn't do anything, even after all this time-" a hiccup broke the sentence, "He still has all this power over me. It's not fair."

It's not fair.

Cassian nodded, biting the inside of his cheek, "You're right, it's not fair." he squeezed her hands lightly, telling her to look at his face. She quickly did so. "You're not with him anymore. You're free. You don't owe him anything, just like you never owed him anything." Nesta took a shaky breath, stopping sobbing. "You have a family, you're a wonderful mother and wife. And you deserve all of this."

Nesta's eyes went wide, realizing where this was going.

Cassian took a deep breath, "You're not worthless, you're not hopeless or useless." he closed his eyes as Nesta mimicked him, breathing deeply in turn. "You are a strong, independent woman, it doesn't matter how much he said otherwise. It didn't matter before and it doesn't matter now. It's just meaningless words.

"I know you, Nesta, and you are the light of my life. The light of every person in this house. The only thing that keeps us going." he whispered in a weak voice, as Nesta leaned forward toward him and cried silently.

Cassian moved closer to her on the mattress so that she could rest her forehead against his chest, his shoulder, wherever she wanted, for support.

He had repeated those words to her so many times over the years. He didn't think he'd ever have to do it again, certainly not after so long that they both knew Tomas had moved to another continent entirely.

"I know you and you're nothing like he describes," he encircled her shoulders with arms when Nesta let go of a particularly loud sob. "You are the exact opposite of what he says." he kissed one temple, stroking the hair on her back.

She shivered in his arms, "I know." she whispered against his shirt.

Cassian managed to force a smile onto his lips, even though she couldn't see it, he knew she would hear it when he spoke, "I'm proud of you."

"Why?"

"Because I can only imagine how hard it was for you to see him again, and although I would have appreciated a different approach to everything that happened this afternoon, you handled it perfectly and our kids are fine." he passed his hands over her shoulders and pushed her away from him so he could look at her face. "And it's okay that you broke down now, it's normal. I'm glad you told me about it. Thank you." he spoke against her lips.

She smiled, breathing a laugh through her tears, "I love you."

"I love you." repeated Cassian, sighing. He cupped her cheek, brushing a thumb under her eye, before kissing her. No rush or force, just pure, raw emotion as their lips caressed in a desperate kiss.

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[jeonmagines]

anything for you 1

jungkook x reader (ft. taehyung)

genre: angst

warnings: jungkook is a meanie here,, curse words,, mentions of death, suicidal thoughts,, overthinking,, mentions of sex.

synopsis: you’d do anything to make him happy. even if it hurts you.

S/N is sister’s name

“hey, i noticed you didn’t really eat anything during lunch so i got you this.” you say as you tapped the boy who had his head down on his desk. he looked up at you and scoffed. “you woke me up for this?” he says with an attitude. “oh and i graded your paper. mrs. lim said that if you needed help you can ask her or jinah over there. i’m not really good at explaining so i can’t do much for you.” you say as you hand him his paper which he scored a 30/50 on. “even if you were an option i still wouldn’t pick you. stop trying so hard it’s annoying.” his friends looked at you in pity but continued to do their work. you never really understood why jungkook disliked you. you don’t remember doing anything bad to him or at least something that would irritate him. the truth is you actually liked him. ever since he transferred, you, along with many other girls had your eyes on him. you weren’t a try hard though. you’d buy him food, give him water, or offer to help him with his homework but nothing more. you did this because you knew that he didn’t really care for himself. he barely ate at school which is probably why he was so tired all the time.

when the bell rang everybody left except for jungkook. he walked over to jinah who was still fixing her backpack strap. “hey uh...i was told you could like help me out with my homework? can you?” he seemed so innocent and kind when he asked her. why did he have to be so rude to me? you asked yourself. she politely agreed and you overheard them saying that after school they’ll head over to the library. everyday you’d volunteer at the library since ms. jay needed to go home early to feed her cats. she said she didn’t want to bother you but you insisted since the library was a really relaxing area no one really went to. you enjoyed it there.

students returned books and some checked them out. you had your eye on jungkook and jinah and to be honest it looked like they were flirting more than studying. you were envious of jinah. she had the perfect smile, body, and attitude. cliché RIGHT. who wouldn’t want a girl like that right? you knew exactly what jungkook saw in her. you on the other hand are not really that interesting which is probably why you only had like two friends who barely talked to you. you were grateful for them though, even though they didn’t feel the same towards you.

as you were typing in the list of kids who still need to return books, you saw how mr. kim was struggling with picking up the trash the students left since he was a bit old. “mr. kim, let me help you with that. why don’t you sit down for a sec? i have some cookies and a water bottle in my backpack. you can eat them while i clean this up.” you grab his garbage bag and started picking up the trash the students dropped. “why are you such a good kid, y/n? you remind me of my grandson. he goes to a different school though. i think you’ll be good together.” he says while taking a cookie from the container you took out of your backpack. “ahh. mr. kim, i kind of have my eyes on someone else right now.” you say as he nods his head and continues to eat.

jungkook was eyeing you from the far end of the table. why were you so nice to everybody? he thought to himself.

you saw jinah get up and leave after bidding goodbye to jungkook, but jungkook stayed at the table. there were only four people in the library; you, jungkook, and two other kids who were trying to look for an interesting book. you walked towards them and asked if they needed any help finding a book. when they told you what they wanted you led them to where the books were. as you were walking though you felt someone glaring at you. your first thought was jungkook because who else would be staring at you?? a ghost??? when the students checked out their books and left it was finally 6pm which meant it was time for you to LEAVE. you walked up to jungkook who was still reading his book. “hey uh. im about to lock up.” he scoffed again and glared at you. “so when other kids are here you offer them help but when it’s only me left you have to ‘lock up’ you were BEYOND irritated. all you wanted was to go home, eat, and sleep but jungkook was keeping you away from that. “it’s 6. i’m supposed to lock up at 6. so. leave.” he was shocked. you’ve never given him attitude, it was always the other way around. you walked away and gathered all of your things getting ready to leave. jungkook also packed up his things while you held the door open for him. when he walked you shut the door loudly and locked the door.

you walked behind jungkook, but not too close because you didn’t want it to seem like you were following him. you sat on the bench while jungkook got in his car. you saw him look at you but you quickly look away to avoid the awkwardness. after a while you saw him standing right in front of you.

“why are you sitting here? go home?” why was he so concerned you thought to yourself. “i’m waiting for the bus. you go home.” he then grabbed your hand and led you to the passenger seat of his car.

“it‘s dark out. tell me where you live.” he opened the passenger’s seat and you went inside his strawberry scented car.

“i’ll just uh. point.” you say while smiling.

cute he thought NO IT’S Y/N. NO. jungkook shook that thought out of his mind and started his car. he played some music to make the situation less awkward.

you on the other hand were way past feeling awkward. you’d check your messages even though no one has texted you. hell, you even went on the weather app just to check the weather in london.

“uh just go right my house is the first one on the block.” you say as he nods.

“thank you. i appreciate it.” as you tried to get out of his car, he grabbed your arm. “why are you so nice to everyone? especially me? i’m such a dick towards you.” you laugh a little at his question. “i’m nice to everybody. especially you because i know you don’t really take care of yourself.” he nods and you thank him again.

when you get inside of your house you hear yelling coming from your parents’ room again. ever since your sister passed away they weren’t the same as before. you hated it. you hated how your sister was gone instead of you.

you just wanted someone to talk to, but nobody really wanted to talk to you. your friends..would you even consider them friends at this point? you shook your head and tried to focus on something else.

jungkook jungkook jungkook jungkook jungkook jungkook jungkook jungkook jungkook jungkook jungkook jungkook jungkook jungkook jungkook think of jungkook. you say to yourself.

the next day was the same as always. you’d walk through the hallways and see people with their friends. people who actually wanted to talk to them. you wondered how it felt to actually be wanted.

you sat down on your chair and got out your books to start writing down the agenda, but someone tapped your shoulder. “hello! i’m mira. would you like to be my friend? i’m new here.” you smiled at her and introduced yourself.

when class started your teacher told mira to come up and introduce herself. “hi! i’m mira. i transferred from (school name). i hope to become your friend!” everyone says hello and she sits back down. you noticed how jungkook’s eyes followed her from the front of the class to her desk. you felt a bit jealous, but didn’t think about it too much.

when lunch came around you tapped jungkook’s shoulder to give him his food. “i got you this sandwich and i baked cookies last night so i thought you’d like it.” he looked at you with no expression and you waited for a thank you but as always he didn’t say it and put his head back down.

“y/n, do you think we can hang out after school? get to know each other a little bit?” mira said with a cute expression on her face. you agreed and she gave you a hug.

after school you and mira went to the ice cream shop near by. “really? i’m five months older than you? i thought i’d be younger since you’re so mature!” you laugh and say you get that a lot. “so earlier i noticed you gave food to that jungkook dude. do you like him?” she says as she wiggles her eyebrows. “kinda.” she squeals while she shoves the ice cream in her mouth.

after eating you both bid your goodbyes and you walked home. finally. i finally have a friend. you thought to yourself.

you came home to your parents fighting again. usually to cope with how you’re feeling you bake in the middle of the night. it was a weird coping mechanism but it worked. baking helped you relax and think about other things.

“if it wasn’t for your fucking daughter! s/n would still be alive right now!” you heard your dad yell. he was right though. it was all your fault. and everyday you’d beat yourself up over it. you quickly went up to your room and started sobbing. you looked at the picture of you and your sister together. “why was it you? couldn’t it just be me? if it was me they wouldn’t be arguing. i miss you s/n.” you kissed the picture and hugged it and drifted to sleep.

the next day you did not feel like being nice to anyone or at least talk to anyone. you put your black hoodie over your head to avoid attention as you walk through the halls.

when you walk into class you see jungkook flirting with mira. you weren’t in the mood to deal with him today so you didn’t even bother. lunch came around and you kept your head down on your desk with your hood on. “y/n? you ok? i’m gonna go get some food. do you want anything.” mira asked. you shook your head and thanked her.

“yo kook, what’s wrong with y/n she didn’t give you food today.” jimin asks. “i don’t know. she’s usually always doing something.” jungkook says as he shrugs his shoulders.

when the bell rang you gathered all of your stuff and jungkook saw how your eyes were red. were you crying? he thought to himself.

you walked outside the school building and thought it was your lucky day because it was raining and you didn’t bring an umbrella.

you sat on the bench, drenched in water, watching students go by laughing with their friends, but suddenly feel the rain stop. you look up and see an umbrella under you.

“thank you, but there’s no point. i’m already wet.” the boy chuckles and says, “ha. that’s what my ex girlfriend said.” not caring whether or not he was going to get wet, the brown haired boy sat next to you. “i’m taehyung. i just transferred today. i’m in my fourth year. let me guess are you in your second?” he says, still holding the umbrella under the both of you. “nope. third.” he nods his head and points at his car. “if you want i can give you a ride home?” he asks with a smile. “really? i’m drenched though. your seats will get wet.” “don’t worry about it. it’s leather.”

as you walked really close next to taehyung, you didn’t know jungkook was watching the two of you from afar.

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[queenoftheworldisdead]

Homecoming part 2

Summary: Slow burn. You are forced to move back to your home town due to the pandemic. When your high school tormentors return to remind you why you never wanted to come back. This gets darker as it goes. I’m not a good writer folks sorry.

Warning: forced masturbation, groping

Any critiques to make me better are more than welcome.

Dark Steve Roger x black reader and [Dark Bucky x black reader comes in later], Cop AU

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4; Chapter 5

After the run in with Steve and Bucky you were overly nervous when you finally made it to the grocery store. Even with your mask on you felt as if eyes were on you. You kept your head low and shopped for your needs as quickly as possible.

When you arrived back home you parked and got to unloading everything by yourself. It took two trips of you waddling back and forth before you finished. All the while you felt your purse buzz, you knew who it was, but you didn't want to think about it.

Had he followed you to the store? It was as if he knew you were home by now.

*Buzz Buzz

Every buzz sending a cold bolt throughout your body. It had been years since you ran off to the city, but it was as if seeing you today rekindled a spark in him.

*Buzz Buzz

Grabbing your bag from the table you rifled through the purse to find the culprit. As you suspected it all came from the same unknown number.

MSG unknown number: Hey Spit Roast WELCOME HOME!

The nickname once again filling you with anxiety and dread

MSG unknown number: Did you miss me? MSG unknown number: I missed you. MSG unknown number: I'm so excited to spend time with you again

You didn't want to think about what he used to do, but as more messages came in the more flash backs flooded in. The memory of the terror and torment he bestowed on you. Throwing your phone back in your purse you try an sooth the knot in your stomach.

*Buzz Buzz

MSG Steve: *sent image[dick] MSG Steve: *sent image[dick] MSG Steve: *sent image[dick] MSG You: Please stop. Im trying to have dinner

After your plea Steve surprisingly stopped. You were able to start cooking in peace. Calling your uncle to the kitchen for dinner you both  sit and eat.

He didn't ask how you were, because he could tell by looking at you. He finished his plate while you just stared at yours. You hadn't even noticed he left the kitchen until you heard the sound of the t.v. turning back on. Snapping out of it you clean the kitchen before heading back to your room.

Throwing your bag on your dresser before laying out on the bed. You tried to control you're breathing, tried to push him out, but the memories of him were relentless. He was living rent free in your mind and there was no way to evict him.

*Buzz Buzz

You knew the reprieve wouldn't last. Sitting up you walked to the dresser to grab your discarded bag to retrieve the phone.

MSG Steve: Show me what's mine

He wanted to you to expose yourself to him. Refusing him wasn't an option.

Maybe if I send him some random girl from the internet.

You searched on your phone to find someone. It didn't take long to find a girl that kind of looked like you. Cropping it just right you could probably pull it off. Your heart was pounding hard in your chest as you readied yourself to press send.

Holding your breath you waited. Hoping he just might fall for it.  

*Buzz Buzz

MSG Steve: ☹️😡 MSG Steve: I know you Y/N don't play with me.

You fucked up. He did know you. He had remembered you. He had violated you so many times how could he forget. You tried to be slick and you blew it completely. Your hands trembled as you remembered how harsh he was to you when you didn't play right.

What little food you had didn't stay long as you dropped your phone and made a mad dash to the waste bin by your nightstand. As you emptied your gut you hoped that your uncle was too preoccupied to notice.

How after so many years was he still hell bent on tormenting you?

After a few more dry heaves you wiped your mouth with your sleeve. Staring at the phone from the floor. You heard another buzz and braced yourself for the consequences.

Rising to your feet you walk over to the bed and pick it up again. With a deep breath you read it.

MSG Steve: be ready at 7pm and wear a dress 😘 MSG Steve: nite!

*Bang Bang Bang

After a few minutes the front door swung open, your uncle filling the door frame staring Steve down. Both men visibly annoyed at the sight of each other.

"And to what do I owe the honor of your visit Steve?" Uncle Nick inquired.

"Tsk... Ha...its officer Rogers these Days Nick." Steve corrected with a smirk.

"It's General Fury last time I check my ranking" Uncle Nick parried.

Nick knew that Steve contributed to your grade school torment, though he never new the full extent. He did try to help you, tried to get them to stop, but he couldn't. You broke his heart when you skipped town, but he understood it was for the best.

"I'm here for Y/N" Steve huffed clenching his jaw.

"Oh really" he nodded, cocking a brow.

"Yes... really" his says, his mouth closes in a tight line, taking one step forward. Puffing out his chest taking a step forward, crossing his arms.

"Why don't you just go away and leave her alone?"

"Unc!" You shout from the kitchen.

"I don't want anyone else to have her" He answered Fury unabashed.

"Unc, it's fine" you say walking up from behind him, trying to wedged through the door and his body.

"You sure about this?" He asked in a hushed tone over his shoulder still blocking you.

Inhaling and sighing slowly you reply "yes."

Side stepping to let you pass you could feel his concern on your back as he watched you file out. Steve's face turns from stern to wholesome as you walked up to him. Placing a hand on your lower back you fight the urge to turn and run inside. Looking over his shoulder to Fury with a smirk as if he had just won a small victory over him. The sound of his chuckle prickled your skin as he led you down the walkway. Each step forward was harder than the next as approached the vehicle.  

Opening the passenger door for you it all of a sudden became hard to breathe. As you lower yourself to get inside your body started to tremble. When the door closed you felt almost suffocated. Your shaky hand reached for the seat belt as he walked around the car to the drivers side. Before he started the car you could tell he was looking at you, but you couldn't face him.

"I thought I told you to wear a dress?"

Instead you wore a pair of boot cut jeans, an oversized sweater and no makeup. You knew he would disapprove and you knew this bit of defiance would not go unpunished, but wearing a dress around Steve would be like showing red to a bull. You wanted to be covered from head to toe. Whenever he touched you your skin felt as if it were on fire, this small barrier of fabric would protect you for the time being.

"I don't have any" you lie as your body trembled. Hoping against hope he was too focused on the road to notice.

"Tsk Tsk Tsk we will have to change that" he said matter of factly as he turned on the radio.

Shifting your body to face the window you stare out at the changing land scape hoping the motion would settle your nerve. Steve rested his hand on the stick shift as he sped through the streets, but eventually found your thigh. At first you brushed him off, but every time he switched gears the hand would fall and squeeze your leg.

"You do that again and I will fuck you on the side of the road in the middle of rush hour." He spoke while keeping his eyes on the road. This time when his hand rested on your thigh you just  left it.

"You remember I asked you first. I wanted you. Remember? Mrs. Pepper's English class?" He chuckled lightly at the memory. Keeping his eyes on the road.

"We were kids Steve that was more than a decade ago" you say flatly facing the passenger window.

He didn't retort only allowing the radio to fill the silence as he drove on.

Freshmen year of High school in Mrs. Pepper's English class was were you first met Steve. The scrawny little boy way shorter than you sat directly behind you. Aside from the occasional passing back of paper assignments you two never really spoke.

Until one day he passed you a note while Mrs. Peppers back was turned. Unfolding the letter and hiding it between the pages of your book you read it. In it he poured out his heart to you.

He talked about the way you wore your hair, your smile and how he was most definitely failing the class because all he could think about was you.

It was sweet and the first ever confession you ever received. But you were interested in someone else at the time. So without a second thought you wrote him back a reply.

It wasn't until the sound of him tearing the note hit your ears that your heart sank. When you told your bestie, Peggy, about it she scolded you for being so cold hearted.

After the twenty minute drive he turned down a cul-de-sac. The car crawled to a stop in front of a white picket fence. Rolling into its driveway where a two story house sat. It looked like the American dream.

You looked at him with dread in your eyes. Steve was really taking you to see Peggy. He ignored your stare, putting the car into park and shoving the keys into his pocket.

"Peggy should be just about finished."  Smiling to himself as he smoothed out his hair in the rear-view mirror.

His hand fell from his hair landing on your lap again. You shifted uncomfortably as his hands trailed up your jeans. You squeeze your legs tightly together, but Steve doesn't stop until he reaches your crotch. You take your hands and try to push him away, but he doesn't budge.

"Don't" you say flatly. When Steve turned to look at you his sky blue eyes grew dark and you could see a familiar hunger in them. Turning to look at the house you hoped Peggy couldn't see or wouldn't walk out to greet her husband.

"Stop... please" your voice softly pleading. Tears threatening to fall as his finger dip low onto your crotch. The friction of his hand on your jeans sending a jolt throughout your body. When he felt the warmth between your legs he bit down on his bottom lip. Rubbing up and down the seam he watched as you fought against him and the wetness building between your thighs.

"Hope your hungry!" He spoke with a now chipper tone. His wholesome smile returning to match. Slipping his hand from you to unbuckled your belt. You sat there frozen as he then unfastened his own before pulling the strap back. Acting as if nothing had happened before he opened his door to get out.

You watched him from the car as he walked up to the porch, pulling out his house keys. You thought for a moment if there was something you could do or if there was somewhere to run, but you already knew the answer was no.

He waited at the door for you as you finally got out. Even outside of the car the air felt too thick to breathe. Making your way up the porch he open the door and you reluctantly followed.

"Honey I'm Home!" Steve sang out to his adoring wife who seemed to be busying herself about the house.

There was a shuffle in a distant room. A head popped out from around a door way and there you saw her, Peggy. She was breathtaking. She looked like Mary Tyler Moore from the Dick Van Dyke show you used to watch with your uncle. Her hair fixed, makeup immaculate and a dress that you would never cook in.

Running from the kitchen all smiles Peggy kissed Steve on the cheek.

"Oh honey I missed you" she embraced him as if he had been gone for centuries. "Who do you have..." her words stop short as she regarded you. Her smile almost falling when she sees your face.

"Hi Peg" you say meekly.

She looked to Steve as if to protest but something in her eyes told you she knew better of it.

"Oh Hi Y/N, Long time no see." She smiled brightly at you, but it was so fake and empty. Even after all this time she still held that grudge against you.

Peggy and you had been friends all through grade school. You two used to be inseparable, always having sleepovers, eating lunch together and bus rides home.

That was until she started dating Steve. The scrawny kid that had once passed you a note with his heart attached had changed drastically over the summer. Puberty had hit him like a ton of bricks. Coming back over six foot tall, muscles and newly appointed captain of the football team. If his name wasn't Steve Rogers you would've sworn he was someone completely different.  

Despite his new found popularity and budding relationship he made time for you. He started of small by playfully tripping you every time you passed him. Then your lockers lock would break almost everyday you couldn't prove it was him, but he would always be close by when you discovered the broken lock. Your uncles house on more than one occasion would be egged or tepeed leaving you to clean up the carnage.

It wasn't until the day of the incident that everything became truly clear. Immediately after that Peggy ended your years long friendship.  

*Knock knock

"That must be Bucky" Steve said while walking off to get the door. You wanted to say something to her in his absence, anything, but she just turned on her heals. Leaving you to go back to the kitchen from which she came.

As her body cut the corner to the kitchen you could hear the sounds of their voices. You wanted to vomit. You didn't want to be left alone with them. The closer they came the more rapid your heart beat inside your chest.

"Bucky why don't you help Peggy set the table while I give Y/N a tour." Steve suggested as he entered the dinning room.

Your back was facing them. Frozen in place as you waited for your school daze tormentors to make their moves.

"Sure Punk"

You could tell he was annoyed with the order, but complied as he always did. Making his way toward the kitchen he bumped your shoulder and you stumbled on to the chair placed at the dinner table.

Steve came behind you though he hadn't touched you yet the heat that radiated from his body electrified your skin. When he took you by the hand your stomach fell. Turning you around his heavy strides headed to the banister, ascending up the staircase you tried to pull back, but his hold on your hand was like steel. Engagement and marriage photos decorated the walls and as you passed each frame it felt as if Peggy's eyes watched you scornfully.

When he got to the top of the stair case he took a right. Opening a door that was less than a foot from the banister. Flicking a switch the room flooded with light.

"And this is the baby room" he said proudly.

The air smelled stale, as if it hadn't been aired out in ages. Stuffed animals stared out blankly from atop a shelf positioned high above a white crib. Next to it along the wall a window with sheer curtains, further over a changing table with a package of unused pamper sat on top. Opposite the changer a closet filled with baby clothes, shoes and a stroller still in its original packaging. The tiny room looked like it was ripped from an Instagram post.

He grabbed you're belly from behind and squeezed it tight.

Whispering in your ear. "I cant wait to hear the pitter patter of little feet."

A shivered rippled through your spine at the implication.  Pushing you to the center of the room you almost trip over the oval rug in the middle of the floor. The damn in your eyes broken instantaneously. Steve could hear your sobs, but he didn't care as.

"Steve.. Peggy is down stairs... please" Your voice was shaky, turning to look at him your face wet with tears. He stepped in further, but didn't close the door. You could tell by the look on his face what was coming next.

"Get into position"

It was a command you hadn't heard in ages, but it still filled you with the shame just the same as it had ever.

You sunk slowly to your knees. Unfastening your jeans, hooking your thumbs on your belt loops forcing them down past your thighs. Then you did the same with your panties.

From behind you could hear Steve start to rub the fabric of his jeans. He loved watching you, toying with you and playing with himself as you did as he commanded.

Lowering your head to the floor you keep your ass up facing him. With your head pressed to the floor you take one arm and snake it in-between your legs. Separating your folds with your fingers so that he could see your inner pink.

Holding there for a moment before moving on to massaging your clit. Rubbing it slowly with your finger tips. The sensation awaking your sex.

You wished you could press your face deep into the floor as you felt the pleasure build. Moaning as you feel yourself grow wet. Dragging your fingers down your slit you take two fingers and trace around your entrance. Slickening your fingers with the wetness of your cunt. Whimpering as you pressed them into yourself. Steve groaned at the sound of your pathetic noise and again at the sloppy wet sounds that you made as you pumped in and out of yourself.

He huffed out a deep grown. "Look at you, my Y/N, dripping wet like a little bitch in heat." He chuckled darkly.

You could feel yourself tightening and spasming, but you had to ask him for permission to cum. Steve always demanded it that way so you fought of the building climax.

"Are you close" he asked. You refused to answer only focusing on keeping yourself at bay.

The metallic jingle of his buckle could barely be heard, but the down ward pull of his zipper was louder as he step closer behind you. His jeans fell down his legs softly resting a top his shoes.

The sound of your sex became louder as Steve lowered himself to you.

"Show me Y/N, show me how you fuck yourself" he said as his hands glided up and down your ass.

"Look how needy you are for me, just for me"

Stroking himself with one hand while the other halted you. Holding your fingers inside you before slowly pumping them in and out.

"Do you want to cum for me" Steve asked whilst he readied himself behind you.

"Yes!" You begged and you could practically feel his elation.

*Whack

The loud sound rang out through the room.

"Yes what?" He wanted you to call him by his high school nickname.

"Yes Captain" You whimper.

"Mmmmmm... I missed that" he hummed. Steve pulled your hand away you braced for him to violate you.

"Steve! Honey!" Peggy's voice called out through the open door from down stairs.

The tip of his cock was aligned with your sopping cunt, but Steve hesitated sticking it in.

"Steve dinner is ready!" Peggy called again. This time a bit closer than before.

As his nails dug into your ass a pain shot through your body. The grip he had on you only increased in intensity as you could tell he was debating on what to do.

"Fuck" he hissed. The pressure of Steve pushing himself off your butt had you collapsing at his release.

"Coming doll" he shouted back at her.

You could hear him pulling up his pants as you lay motionless on the floor. You had to leave town again, but with no money you knew there came no hope.

The dinner was an awkward affair and if she knew what happened up stairs she wasn't letting on. At the round table Steve sat next to you while Bucky flanked your other side. Once seated Peggy brought out the food.  It all looked delicious there was a roasted dish no doubt at Steve suggestion, mashed potatoes, steamed vegetables and a chilled bottled of white wine.

Steve poured you a glass of wine almost to the brim.

"Um I don't drink Steve" you lie as he finishes pouring your glass, but of course he ignored you. When you were around him you wanted to have all your senses. As Peggy served the group Bucky conversed with Steve while you stared at the plate you had no apatite for.

"Are you dating anybody? Anyone missing you in that big city?" Peggy asked with a sly smile as she took her place on the other side of Steve.

"Oh you know how it is now a days" Looking from her to him when you answered. Hoping that response was vague enough to not stroke Steve's ire, but you didn't see any of his familiar tics.

"Well, James is single. Didn't you two have a little thing in high school" she looked over at him, but he was more focused on the plate in front of him.

Could she see the sudden tension on your face you wondered?

Steve's hand glided up in your lap, giving it a squeeze. He had done this before every time you were forced to have dinner at his parents house. When he squeezed again you wondered if she knew about those dinners too. How you both got caught fucking in his room by his mother or that awful time with his father. How each time his she demanded you to stay. As if she wanted you to see your future.

Bucky had distracted Peggy with some mundane conversation about shopping or cooking. You couldn't really focus as you bit down on your fork when he tried to go into your pants again.

Putting the utensil down you slip your hands from the top of the table to unbutton your pants.

Leaning over to your ear. "A dress would've made things a lot more fun."

Even with Peggy at the table he was embolden. Trailing a hand up your thigh while smiling in his wife's face. Before he got to close you turned your wine glass over, spilling the liquid all over Steve.

"What the hell" Steve cursed as he grabbed a table cloth to bolt himself.

"Oh gosh I'm sorry Steve it was an accident" you lied. "Um you know its getting really late maybe I should go home now"

"Fuck fine come on" he stood up still drying himself off.

"You're a mess Honey. I’m sure James could take her home" Peggy interjected sweetly to her husband.

Steve’s jaw tightened you could tell he didn't like the idea, but sighed and resigned his objections.

"Buck would you mind?" The smile plastered on his face was faker than a three dollar bill.

"Sure thing Punk" Bucky patted Steve on the back of his shoulder as he got up. Pushing your chair back you hurry to follow him, you could feel Steve's eyes on your back.

They didn't see you two to the door, but you could hear Peggy wishing you both a goodnight and safe drive.

"Why did you do that?" Bucky as he riffled for the keys in his pocket.

*Buzz Buzz

You hadn't even made it to the car before your cellphone went off.

MSG Steve: Im going to fuck you for hours tomorrow. So get some rest 😈

Chapter 3>>>

[btsslowburnfic]

The Arrangement Chapter 11

Series Summary: Desperately in need of money, you answered the questionable ad. AKA-Arranged marriage AU featuring Y/N and Yoongi.

Chapter Summary: You and Yoongi each share a little of your fucked up pasts

Previous chapter here

----------

The two of you entered the studio. Yoongi headed for the desk chair. "You can take the couch." 

You gave him a bottle of water and pulled the gimbap out of your purse, handing one to him. 

"Thanks. Now do you see why I don't go to those meetings?" He began to tear the wrapping off the gimbap.

"Yep. That was brutal. They literally just read off of the PowerPoint slides." You took a bite of your food. 

Yoongi scrolled through his phone. "We should go shopping tonight. The stores will be packed tomorrow and Sunday." 

"I don't mind. I can just go tomorrow or something." 

He looked over at you. "I don't do crowds. Let's go tonight."

You sighed, it was clear you weren't winning this argument. "Sounds good. What time will you get done with work today?" You asked, glad some of the negativity was fading from him. 

"I need to do some producing. But I'll try to take a break at 7 and then we can go shopping." 

You almost died a little at how normal and domestic this all sounded. A small part of you wanted your life to be so different from the fucked up life you had experienced as a child. This could be your life. This could be it. It's fake. I don't care. 

"OK sounds good." you finished up your sandwich. "I'm off to continue answering questions that people could easily look up online." 

"Better you than me," he said. 

You stuck your hand out for the sandwich wrapper and sighed.  "Yep. It’s definitely not  work befitting Min Suga genius." You teased as you exited the studio. 

Yoongi smiled and turned around to face his computer. What the fuck was happening? Two days in and he had already bought you towels and was getting ready to go grocery shopping with you. Might as well skip to the wedding at this point, he thought jokingly. At least then someone else would have bought the towels for you. 

---------------

Yoongi picked at his cuticles, his alarm was set to go off in a few minutes. He had done some mixing, but for the most part he ended up writing. He had been very inspired lately for lyrics. Usually it was the beats that came more easily to him and he had to seek out experiences for his lyrics. But lately he had so many feelings and experiences just itching to come out. 

He was worried after that night at the bar that you would distract him from his job but so far he had found the opposite to be true. He was thinking about you less because he knew you were in the office or the apartment. He wasn’t wondering what you were doing all the time. Not that he cared.  Not that he had thought about you all the time. And it was nice to have someone answer emails and calls, and deliver coffee. 

He turned his alarm off preemptively and stood up. He exited the studio. There was no one left on the 14th floor. That wasn’t unusual. He stopped by your desk. It was totally empty. He frowned. How could a person the same age as him have only 2 bags of belongings he wondered. He took out his phone.

YG: What’s going on with Ms. [YLN] work laptop? I see it hasn’t arrived yet. She needs it immediately to help coordinate my collaborations. Additionally, she needs appropriate stationary.

JW: Of course Mr. Min. I will follow up with the IT department immediately and let you know. As for the office supplies I can provide her with some basic stationary immediately. If you require personalized stationary the lead time on orders is 2 weeks. I can send a link to have you/her look over it.

YG: Thank you Jiwoo. Please do that.

Satisfied with himself, he put his phone back in his pocket and headed over to the elevator. He got in. A girl he recognized as Alice, Jin’s main stylist was already on. She had a make-up train case with her and seemed irritated. He gave her a nod of acknowledgement and noticed the button for the 18th floor was already pushed. 

They both awkwardly stood in silence for the short ride. 

The elevator arrived at the 18th floor. Yoongi gestured to her to exit first. She did and headed down the other way towards Jin’s apartment. He must have some event tonight Yoongi thought as he went the other direction to his apartment. He walked in, just realizing he hadn’t been home since yesterday morning. He sighed. It wasn’t unusual for him to spend days at a time in the studio. The first thing he noticed was that his apartment smelled like coffee and girl. It wasn’t a bad thing. It was just different.

He continued into the living room and looked around. There was a light on in the kitchen and a half-empty pot of coffee.  He could see a light peeking out from under your bedroom door. He took out his phone.

YG: I’m home. I’m going to grab a shower first and then we can go. You don’t have to stay holed up in the bedroom.

He walked upstairs, put his phone on the charger, and showered.

You woke up from your nap right at 6:58. Yoongi hadn’t struck you as the type to ever get home from work early so you hadn’t worried about being ready right at 7. You checked your messages and saw where he had texted you as well as Jimin. You pulled on some jeans and a sweatshirt and headed out to the living room. 

JM: 2 pm. Meet me in the lobby of the 6th floor. Bring a tank top and leggings so you can try on clothes over them. Also I HATE YOU WE WERE THERE UNTIL 5 OMFG 

YN: Sorry sorry XD I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks again!

Yoongi emerged a few minutes later wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt and looking like a damn snack. “Hey.” He walked over to the kitchen and opened the cabinets to check the ingredients. He looked back over his shoulder, “Seriously, I meant what I texted, Make yourself at home. I'm never here anyways." 

You moved over to the barstool. "Thanks. I'm just so used to sharing small spaces with lots of people I don't really take up a lot of space. The coffee is fresh by the way. I had a cup before napping just now." 

Yoongi didn't really respond, opening up the refrigerator. The two of you were surprised to suddenly hear yelling and screaming in the hallway. 

"What the hell? "Yoongi asked, shutting the fridge and walking over to the front door. “Not again," he muttered under his breath. It sounded like a woman yelling. The blood in your veins ran ice cold, your tongue slowly turned to lead. You heard the front door open and felt dizzy. Suddenly you were in an apartment with Suho and there was screaming. You took a deep breath. No. No. That was years ago. You were in Seoul. You were safe. There were guards here and Yoongi was here. Yoongi? You shook your head, looking around. You started to panic again. 

The woman had stopped screaming. You heard the voices of two men and slowly staggered out towards the hallway. 

"What the fuck Jin?" you heard Yoongi yell. 

"I know. I know. She's just difficult."

"Your girlfriend is a fucking asshole." You heard a girl yell. You recognized her as Alice. She was pulling her make up case down the hallway and crying hard. 

"Alice I'm sorry. You know Lin is a little crazy. She didn't mean any of the stuff she said." Jin pleaded with her.

Alice was sobbing as she pushed the elevator button. "Tell yourself that, jin." 

You didn't want to stare. You felt wrong watching all of this happen but you were also numb at this point, almost experiencing it as though you were outside your body. 

Yoongi breathed in sharply. "Just go home Jin. But this is the second time this week. She needs some  anger management classes or something." Yoongi looked over and saw you standing there, peeking around the corner. 

"Enjoying the show?" He said irritated. 

You snapped back to reality and shook your head. You weren't nosy. You had been scared and didn't want to be in the apartment alone. Yoongi got on the elevator with Alice, leaving you and Jin in the hallway. 

" Goddammit," you heard Jin say as he walked back to his apartment. 

You stood there for a minute replaying everything that had just happened. You took a few deep breaths. Suho wasn't here. You were fine. Yoongi was fine. Apparently Jin had a crazy girlfriend. Alice was Jin's stylist. And Yoongi thought you were a nosey asshole. Great. 

You didn't feel like you could go back to the apartment right now so you decided to head out for a walk. 

-----------

"You don't have to come with me. You don't even know me." Alice sniffed. "I know how to ride an elevator." 

Yoongi shrugged. "Your name is Alice. You've been around for 3 years but became Jin's main stylist a year ago. You are hopelessly in love with him and his new girlfriend suspects. Tell me I'm wrong." 

Alice sniffled, her silence acting as confirmation.  Yoongi observed so much, quietly watching his coworkers over the years. “This is embarrassing.” She sniffled.

" You should file a complaint with the HR department. She can't just scream at staff members." 

"I'm just a stylist."

"Well I'll be filing a complaint. Her loud yelling is fucking annoying." Yoongi put his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels. 

Alice laughed a little at that. "Yeah. She's fucking mean. They've actually been dating on and off for years. She yells at Jin too and he always just takes it. That's why she screamed at me tonight. She called him a worthless idiot for like the 500th time and I finally just snapped and told her to shut up."

Yoongi pressed his lips together. He never would have imagined that Jin was being verbally abused. He suddenly felt bad he had been so short with him a few minutes ago. 

The elevator arrived at the 7th floor where several of the girl's dormitories were. "Rest up. She's a bitch." Yoongi said to Alice as she got ready to exit.

"Yeah, thanks. Sorry I've never really talked to you before."

Yoongi shrugged . "It's fine." He pushed the door close button and back to the 18th floor. He had been so surprised to see you standing there. He didn't think you'd be interested in gossip, you had seemed so mature. 

He walked back into the apartment. "Y/N I'm back. Are you ready to go to the store?" 

Silence. 

He sent a message to your phone and heard it ping from the countertop. 

Shit. 

--------------

Yoongi walked outside. It was a little cold out. He tried to tell himself he wasn't chasing after you or looking for you. He was just out stretching his legs. If he happened to run into you, fine. But if not, fine. He reasoned that without your phone or wallet, you had to be nearby. He had left a note for you in the apartment just in case you got back before he did.

Y/N,

Hey. Sorry for all the loud drama. Jin's gf sucks. Text me. You still owe me jjigae.

 He walked through one of the little parks that stood between the skyscrapers and the river. He figured he would do a short lap and then head back. He hated the cold, he thought again as he rubbed his hands together. 

"Yoongi?" he heard a voice. He looked over at the swingset and saw you sitting there. 

"Hey," he walked over. "You left."

"Sorry, I needed some fresh air."  You responded as you watched your breath form in the air.

Yoongi took a seat on the swing next to you. "Yeah. Sorry about that. Jin's girlfriend is apparently awful." 

"Yeah. Poor Alice. I met her the other day, she seemed so sweet."

“How do you already know so many people?” Yoongi wondered aloud. He had been there for years and barely knew anybody. 

You shrugged, “I guess bartending made me good at talking to people.” 

“How did you get into it?” 

“Bartending? Well I wanted a job where I could work nights so I could also have a day job. And the money was really good.”

“That's always your main job criteria?” Yoongi said flippantly.

Rude. “That's a little mean but yea. I'm the main adult who has to support my two siblings and I've had to since I was 20 years old. I had to drop out of college so there's not many options. I haven’t had the luxury of choosing jobs that I might actually be interested in.”  

Yoongi felt like such a shithead. “Sorry. That was a dick thing of me to say. You’re right,  it would be nice if you could have the ability to do a job because you like it. Not because of the money.” 

“It's OK. I'm just sensitive about it.” You looked off in the distance at the river.

“You should be proud. When I was 20 I wasn’t able to even support myself, let alone take care of anybody else.” 

You shrugged. “I’m sure you could have if you had to.”

“No. I’m telling you. When I was 20 I was on my own. And I was homeless because I couldn’t support myself. So the fact that you actually made it work while taking care of people is pretty amazing.”

“Thanks. And wow. I had no idea. That sucks. I’m glad you’re not homeless anymore.” You looked over at him. You never would have guessed. You just assumed he had always been well off. 

“Right? That would suck.” Yoongi agreed, glad you weren’t turning his trauma into a big deal. “Yeah, I got discovered by a talent scout and BigHit brought me to Seoul and set me up in one of the dorms here.”

“Wow. I got discovered by some rich asshole with dimples in a bar, who I thought was running a sex-trafficking ring.” You joked. Yoongi laughed, while gently swinging. 

"While we’re sharing our tragic backstories, that's actually one of the reasons I came out there." You began. You figured if Yoongi was willing to share some of his fucked-up ness you could do the same. "In the hallway. I didn't want to be alone. People yelling and screaming puts me on edge. I wasn’t trying to be nosy" you thought about how to best phrase what you wanted to say next. "I was raised in an environment where that happened a lot. Yelling. Screaming. And things got very violent, very quickly, in our house." 

Yoongi sat next to you on the swings listening intently to your confession. He never would have guessed that about you. You seemed so well-adjusted." I'm sorry that you grew up in a place like that." He said, carefully studying your face." And I'm sorry that Jin's girlfriend caused you to be uncomfortable. I had no idea or I wouldn't have said anything to you about being in the hallway" 

"it's OK. Well, I mean, it's not ok  what happened to me, but it's over now. Thanks." you looked over at him. He was blowing on his hands. "Are you cold?"

"Yes, it’s freezing out here" 

You scoffed, “It's a little cold. Here," you stood up and put your hands around his before he could object.

"How are you so hot?” He asked, enjoying the furnace of your hands. 

“You know I look in the mirror every day and ask myself the same question.” You replied with a straight face. Yoongi wrinkled his nose causing you to laugh. “Come on. I don’t want to get fired for letting you freeze to death.” You pulled on his hands to get him off the swing. “Do you still want to go shopping?”

“Yep. I have the list in my phone. Since we’re already out let’s walk to the real grocery store. The BigHit store has an ok amount of things, but not as much as an outside store.”

“Ok, I need to go back and grab my wallet.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“But I--”

“You’ve seen my apartment. Don’t argue with me.” He started to walk back towards the city center. 

You sighed. Yes. He was super rich and you weren’t. “Fine. But I am doing this under protest.”

“Your protest is noted, come along, assistant. I’ll let you carry the bags.” NEXT CHAPTER

@lidda @anpanman-sonyeondan​  @firefairy1​  @cuteipat​  @sugaslittlekookies​  @janeelizabeth1216​ @deeepvibes​ @gxldenhunny​

[psychewithwings]

Pregnant s/o hcs: Mirio, Bakugo, Todoroki, Midoriya, Iida, Tamaki

SFW, just super fluffy 

Mirio:

If you don’t think this man is tearing up when you tell him... uhhh you’d be wrong

He is crying over you and so happy, will kneel and just kiss your tummy 

And when you’re in bed that night going to sleep, every few minutes he will nuzzle in closer and whisper, “hey guess what? We’re gonna have a baby” 

Anytime he says he loves you now he says it to your tummy too 

“I love you Y/n, I love that you are mine and I love that you’re going to be the mother of my child” *bends down* “And I love you too baby” 

He will have a really hard time waiting until the second trimester to tell anyone but once he is able, everyone will know, and he’s going to have a party in your honor. 

He will treat you like a queen, back rubs and foot rubs...

I feel like when you first tell him you’re pregnant he will come home a few days later with a box... when you open it, it’s a maternity dress, and its actually really pretty, with lace and silk, and nice and stretchy... 

“I know you don’t need it now, but I saw it when I was out and thought it would look perfect on you...”

He will compliment you every second of every day, will trace your stretch marks and tell you they make you beautiful because it’s all part of you becoming a mother, it’s a natural tattoo, a reminder of how you’re growing a life inside you

He will want to throw a gender reveal party 

And no, it can’t be as simple as balloons popping out of a box, he’s gotta have something extravagant to celebrate like fireworks, monster trucks, or a paid actor dressed as a baby

You’re having his baby! This is a pinnacle moment in his life and he is not about to have some basic ass party

Mirio is definitely the kind of guy who thinks you can’t have sex because it could hurt the baby, you will have to make a very embarrassing call to your doctor about that... 

He is looking forward to owning dad sandals (who are we kidding he prolly already does)

Bakugo:

This man will shit himself, make sure he is sitting down

“Bakugo... I’m pregnant”

“Hah?” 

“I’m having a baby! You’re gonna be a dad”

He’s really happy and excited, he has no doubt you’ll be an amazing mom but he’s kinda worried about him being a dad... 

Am I fit to raise a kid? Will I be a good dad?

He will probably start working more and almost go on over drive... He will start coming home later, picking up earlier shifts... And when you ask him, “Katsuki, are you not happy about the baby?”  He will kinda break down and tell you “No of course I’m fucking happy about the baby, I just want the world to be safe for our kid... and I only have 8 months till then and-” He drops to his knees in front of you and he’s tearing up. You’ll get onto your knees too and just hug him, “Katsuki, you can’t fix the world before we have our baby,” you’ll look at him lovingly as he realizes how absurd he was being. “But we can prepare to be the best parents we can be...” “Prepare? We’re already gonna be the best parents.”

Okay, Bakugo hypes up the baby too, like...

“Katsuki, come here! The baby is kicking!” *he puts his hand on your tummy* “Baby’s so strong, just like us,” *grabs you and kisses you* “I knew we made a fucking perfect kid”

He will try kill anyone who oversteps the boundary with the bump (like touching the bump without asking)

“OI EXTRA, you wanna take your fucking hands off my woman and my kid or do  I have to do that for you...” 

Bakugo would be very unnecessarily competitive in birthing class

Will wake you up in the middle of the night at least once, he’s just laying on his back staring wide eyed at the ceiling... “What if I explode the baby?”

You’ll roll over and look at him annoyed, “you won't explode the baby,” 

He will settle again once you give him cuddles 

You cannot tell me that he would not be your biggest cheerleader when you’re actually giving birth, “PUSH, FUCKING PUSH DUMB ASS!” 

Todoroki: 

This man freaks out for a sec... cuz daddy issues. But he has a strong resolve so he will come out of it quickly and decide how to 

“Shoto, you aren’t anything like Endeavor, you’re going to be an amazing dad”

He will be extremely happy, but his excitement will be softer

Everyday after you tell him he says you’re glowing

He will want to cook you special things because it’s healthy for the baby, or so his mother told him

Speaking of his mother, she taught him how to knit when he went to visit her in the hospital so you’ll find him knitting little hats and bootie and jackets for the baby

He will nest just as much, if not more than you do

You’ll find him awake at 3AM trying to put together some bullshit ikea thing for the baby with the tiny allen wrench they give you for free. “Shoto, come back to bed... we can do that in the morning” “But the baby needs somewhere to sleep,” “Yes, and I’m not due for another two months”

Shoto is already so soft but I think he would be softer

Like when you fall asleep on the couch, he gets home and just cuddles up to you and asks your bump how it’s day was. He will talk to the bump until you wake up and then he just pepper your face with kisses.  

He is the only one of all these men who doesn’t shit himself and die when watching the birthing tape. I think he would be calm and say something like “a woman’s body is made to carry and deliver a child, there’s nothing to be frightened of.”

Midoriya: 

When you tell him, he’s gonna cry

He will want to call his mom right away  

Midoriya is the kinda guy to have a box of his things from when he was a kid stored away to give to his child (it’s all All Might merch but, ya know)

He definitely panics and worries if he is going to be a good father but he takes all that anxiety and just turns it into energy to care for you with

He is already signing you up for birthing classes 

This man would take you to all your doctors visits, acupuncture appointments, prenatal massages, and even a strange healing session done in the back room of a health good shop (don’t worry, he checked google reviews, 346 people, and 5 stars) (You weren't sure about it at first, but you felt very at peace afterwards, def worth the 5 star review)

He just really wants you to be happy and healthy

It would be understatement to say he treats you like a queen... he treats you like a goddess, and he tells you everyday how grateful he is that you’re his love and giving him a baby. Especially when you feel insecure about how your body is changing

He will want to make the nursery Hero themed... with an All Might wall decal... you’ll eventually opt for something a little less... exuberant like jungle animals or something. But the compromise is the All Might mobil that spins and says “I am here” while playing twinkle twinkle little star.

He will read to the bump, and sing to it because he wants the baby to know his voice

Will make a ‘goodnight’ song with you for the baby to sing to it every night 

Tenya: 

Tenya is so excited and immediately starts thinking of things he needs to do for you and baby

The day after he will come home with a bag from the store full of prenatal vitamins and herbal teas that are safe to drink 

“My love! I have brought you Evening Primrose supplements, it’s supposed to help with your delivery.” 

I think he has name ideas picked out already and is very excited to show them to you. They are all related to the Iida family.

He would ask his brother for advice and would be so excited to tell him when it’s time. 

Don’t even worry about pregnancy brain. Iida’s got you, he will help you remember everything you need to know and he will be patient with your cloudy thoughts. 

Iida is so matter of fact tho, I can see it coming off as insensitive, especially when you’re dealing with mood swings.

“Darling, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you it’s just that those chips make your stomach hurt and I was only trying to-” “YOU JUST DONT WANT ME TO BE HAPPYYYY!!!!!!” “My darling, I want all the happiness in the world for you, you are the mother of my child, I- please don’t cry” 

He really loves you a lot and he will learn to be a little gentler with you during this phase of the pregnancy

Braxton hicks contractions (the little fake contractions you get during the third trimester, closer to the due date) will send him into panic mode. 

But he is also so organized that he is R E A D Y 

You clutch your stomach and inhale sharply and sit down, he’s already running to get the hospital bag and getting the keys for the car. 

(The hospital bag includes, diapers, baby clothes, blankets, stress balls for you to squeeze during contractions and a birth mix which includes mostly Baroque composers but theres a few taylor swift and harry styles songs because he thinks it would be cool if the baby was born to Adore You, because Iida adores you and that baby so much)

Tamaki:

He is terrified

But ultimately knowing that he has a child on the way actually does wonders for his confidence because he wants his child to have a good example and he doesn’t want the child to inherit his crippling shyness

He really is there for you and much like Shoto, shows it in a soft way

Tamaki is so food oriented already that he is especially considerate of your cravings and would probably try them, no matter how weird they are

Pregnancy makes you super hungry but thats okay because Tamaki is a brilliant cook

Tamaki is also very sensitive to the knowledge that it will change after the baby is born and that he has you all to himself for just a little while longer

He is going to take you on special weekend trips, like a sleepy beach town to just relax and eat good food

He will also take you on extra dates because he just wants to soak up your time together as a couple

He is very aware of how much work you’re doing constantly to carry his child and he will want to spoil you 

“Y-you’re just so beautiful, a-and you chose me, and now you’re carrying my child...I just... I love you so much and thank you for letting me be yours b-because you make me so happy.” 

He will freak out when he sees the birthing tape

“I-I am so sorry, I can’t believe I’ve put you through this... you’re- you-  This is all my fault...” *panic panic panic*

But when you’re actually in labour he is very supportive, he will just apologize while you’re screaming in agony and wish there was something else he could do other than bring you ice chips...

[onebatch2batch]

24 or 43 for kastle from the 50 prompts thingy??

43. “Are you drunk?” [ao3]

I got a little carried away....not sorry. Thank you for the prompt!!

--

The sun has long since set by the time Karen manages to shoulder her way into her apartment building, annoyed. It’s been a long and difficult week, and she had been so excited to get home to her pajamas, wine, and fuzzy socks. In fact she’d been almost out of her office before realizing that her cabinets at home are completely empty. She’s been so busy at work that grocery shopping has been on the back burner, and she knew that if she’d just gone straight home after work she would have ordered in food all weekend. Her budget would never allow for that--and so she’d stopped at the little bodega on the way home and bought what she needed. All in all it had amounted to about four bags and a bottle of wine tucked safely away in her purse. She’d walked the five blocks home with aching hands and aching feet, dreaming of her quiet apartment. Maybe I’ll take a bath, she thinks as she shoots the broken elevator a sour look, or maybe I’ll just lay in bed and watch Netflix. Or try to work through one of my cold cases. Or read. Oh, maybe I’ll read in the bath.

She does none of those things. Karen reaches her floor, turns the corner, and her heart stutters.

There’s someone at her door. He’s got his back to her, so she can’t make out much, but he’s in dark clothes and his hood is up. He’s got his forehead pressed to her door. Part of her hopes he’s just drunk and thinks he’s somewhere else. The more logical part says that she definitely recognizes those combat boots even from behind.

“Frank?”

He jerks, then turns to give her a wide, loose smile. “Hey, Kar’n.”

She stares. Blinks. Stares some more. “What are you doing here?”

“Uh.” He shifts, nearly trips on a frayed part of the hallway carpet, catches himself last minute. “Can we talk inside?”

There goes my quiet evening.

As happy as she is to see Frank Castle alive and well, she knows not to expect more than a friendly social call. Karen passes him a handful of groceries and digs out her keys, letting them both into her warm apartment. Frank slides the lock in place behind her as she moves towards the kitchen, kicking off her heels with an embarrassingly happy groan. “Is this a coffee conversation, or something strong?” she asks over her shoulder.

Frank carefully maneuvers the handful of bags onto her counter and focuses on removing everything for her to put away. “You worried ‘bout me bein’ here?”

That’s a loaded question. She raises a brow. “Frank, you never visit recreationally. What’s going on? Are you on the run again? Need some info on someone?” If they have to have this conversation, she’d rather get the niceties out of the way and get back to her weekend.

“Nope. None of that.”  He smiles again, nearly drops an apple, and then something clicks.

“Wait a minute,” she gasps, amazed. “Are you drunk?”

His answering grin is enough. Karen laughs incredulously, some of the tension knotted in her spine loosening. As soon as she’d seen him she had assumed that he needed something, or needed her help. Not that he was paying a visit on the way home from a bar.

“I didn’t even think you drank,” she huffs, amused. She quickly puts away her groceries and then pours a glass of wine for herself.

“I don’t usually,” he admits, leaning against the counter. Now that she knows what she’s looking for, there’s a warm flush on his cheeks and a looseness to his limbs that’s different from his normal, tense posture. “It’s Curt’s birthday, we had a couple after group.”

She’s glad to hear he’s still going to that group. They settle on the couch and exchange small talk about how it’s going and how Curtis is until curiosity gets the better of her. “So why are you actually here, Frank?”

He looks caught. She’s interested to see that his usually expressive face is much more so when inebriated. Every flicker of his eye and clench of his jaw gives away what he’s thinking. It’s like reading a book on how dodgy a vigilante can look. “Well, I wanted to see you.”

It's such a line, and coming from anyone form him she would have rolled her eyes. As it stands, the idea of The Punisher making a booty call because he’s had a bit too much to drink makes her laugh. She catches the hurt look on his face before he can hide it.

“What?”

“Oh no, Frank, I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you. I’m glad you’re here.” She reaches over to squeeze his arm reassuringly, which seems to mollify him slightly.

“What’s funny, then?”

“Just the thought of The Punisher making a booty call.” Karen laughs again, unable to help herself. Frank is the most intense person she’s ever met, and she would certainly know if that was his plan. She doesn’t think he would be able to hide it if it were. She looks at him, inviting him to share in the hilarity of the idea, but he’s not laughing. Not even a little. In fact, his face flashes red and he clears his throat, looking away.

“Hang on,” Karen says slowly, laugh dying in her throat. “Is that what this is?”

“No,” Frank says quickly. “No, of course not.”

He’s lying. It’s the first time he’s ever lied to her. Karen’s mouth drops open. She stares at him, waiting for him to crack a smile or announce that he’s messing with her, but he just stares out the window and clenches his jaw. When she realizes he’s not planning on explaining, she takes two large gulps of wine and sets down her glass.

“Really? Because it kind of seems like I hit the nail on the head there.”

He’s already shaking his head emphatically. “No, Karen, Christ, I just, I--I wanted to see you, that’s all--”

This could go so many different ways, she’s not sure which option to explore first. She could let him off the hook and feign ignorance, maybe talk for another hour and then send him on his way. Or she could demand he tell her what he wants. Or she could mercilessly tease him--who can say they’re able to tease The Punisher and get away with it? And anyways, he’s gotten her into plenty of life-threatening situations (even if he usually saves her from them later) so joking around to get back at him is too good to pass up.

“Is there something off putting about me, then?” She raises a brow, having only a hair too much fun. “Because now you’re being a little too defensive for my tastes.”

“Oh Jesus, Karen--”

She shrugs. “I’m just saying, we’re both single and know each other and if that’s what this is, then you just have to say it--”

He’s starting to look panicked. “No it’s--”

“Come on, Frank, just admit it. You came here for a booty call--”

“Hey, no--”

“Because you’re drunk and have some excess energy--”

“It’s not because I’m drunk.”

The game is over. Frank is looking at her with a particularly focused expression that steals the air from her lungs. He leans forward, in her space, stopping just short of her lips. “If you think,” he rasps, and now it’s Karen’s turn to flush at his proximity, “for a second that I would come here just to sleep with you like it’s not something I’ve thought about constantly for two years, like I would just ruin this for one night--along with you and your fucking stubbornness and your smile and how you look in those fucking--...skirts--...” he takes a deep breath in, closes his eyes briefly, and then snaps them open to give her a loaded look, “--then you’re fuckin’ crazy, Karen.”

And then he sits back, and looks away.

She’s sure she looks like a complete idiot, but Karen can’t wipe the shock off her face. After a few moments where it feels like her heart literally stops beating, it reanimates with a pounding she can feel between her legs. Her throat is suddenly too dry, and she swallows hard. Her mind races to get them back on solid footing, but her mouth has other ideas. “So you’ve thought about us having sex?” is the first astonished thing to escape her lips.

“No,” Frank sighs patiently, but like she’s deliberately being obtuse. It’s such a funny, cute little sound that she’s never heard from him before, and it’s doing nothing for the desire that’s coursing through her. “I think about us in every way. Having sex, sure. But watchin’ tv together. Gettin’ a dog. Goin’ grocery shopping. Shit, just gettin’ up and having coffee in the morning. Just...I just think about us.”

It’s such a momentous confession that Karen feels inadequate to handle. Ever since she pleaded with him in the hospital, begging for him to leave the fight behind for her, she has filed away her feelings. After such a staunch dismissal of her feelings, she was sure he wasn’t interested in her other than as an informant and maybe, just sometimes, a friend. Now with his (albeit drunk)  confession, she knows otherwise. She still doesn’t know what self-sacrificing, self-deprecating bullshit caused him to turn her down before, but that’s a discussion for another time. Right now, she wants to drag him towards her and kiss him senseless. She wants to smack him for waiting so long to say something. She wants to cry with relief. She wants to make him feel validated and loved. She wants to prove to the world that Frank Castle is a good man who has been dealt a shitty hand, even if she has to scream it from theEmpire State Building. “Frank,” she chokes out, “you should have said.”

He tenses, looking at her wearily. “Am I too late?”

She doesn’t answer with words. She’s too busy closing the gap between him and burying her face in his neck. He smells familiar, like sandalwood and vanilla, reminding her of a different day in her apartment. She’d hugged him for much longer than appropriate and he hadn’t pulled away. She thought maybe it had been a sorry and thank you all at once. And then he’d left again, and it had nearly broken her in two. “Never,” she vows into his skin, painting a promise with her lips.

She hears his ragged exhale, and then he’s drawing her up towards him. His kiss is soft, just a brush of lips against hers before he presses another to her cheek, her forehead, her chin. When he returns once more to capture her lips, Karen lets her hands wander the wide expanse of his chest, lets herself revel in the firmness of his body against her. Touching him like this is such a foreign feeling, but like she’s finally found the missing piece to a long started puzzle. His hands are just as eager, running along her spine and then resting on her hips before his strong fingers sink into her hair, the others pressing firmly on her lower back so that he can grind up against her. Karen gasps and Frank takes advantage of her parted lips, deepening the kiss, his tongue curling against her teeth. As Karen loses herself in the feeling of his heat and hands and kisses, she daydreams about what could happen next. She could slide off his lap to kneel between his legs. She could take the very strong evidence of his arousal and pepper it with kisses until he begs her to take him in her mouth. She could get him just close enough, and then crawl up the hard line of his body to take him in every way possible. She could make him believe that he’s been worth waiting for.

Instead, she pushed lightly on his chest until he pulls away with what she can only call a pout. He looks the definition of dishevelled with his soft curls askew and pupils blown wide. Her chest heaves, and she bites back a small noise of disappointment when his hips cease their wonderful friction against hers. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re drunk,” she reminds him unsteadily.  

Frank lets his head fall back against the couch. His hands tighten on her waist briefly, reminding her of their precarious position--as if she could forget. She hasn’t been so turned on in eons. “Yeah,” he mumbles. “I know.”

“We should stop.”

His head lifts, eyes meeting hers, hopeful. “For now?”

Karen smiles, allowing one more brief kiss. It takes every bit of self-control in her to keep it chaste. “Until you’re sober. Then we’ll talk. But we can check one thing off your list, if you like.”

His mind struggles to switch gears. “Which one?”

Karen kisses his nose before clamoring off the couch (and his lap) on wobbly legs. “I’m going to preset the coffee machine for the morning. Now, which side of the bed do you sleep on?”

When he gives her a tentative, wonderful, bashful smile, Karen has to force herself to walk into the kitchen. Frank Castle has never been so dangerous as he is now, she thinks, sitting on that couch with mussed hair and swollen lips. Every instinct begs for her to return to his lap and continue what they started, but she measures the coffee out and stays strong. They can finish tomorrow, but they have things to talk about.

Over coffee. She smiles and sets the timer.

[youwerenevermeanttofeelalone]

Know Better | Sasuke Uchiha

✦ pairing — Sasuke Uchiha x Plus Size Reader

✦ word count — 7.7k

✦ Fake Dating & Modern AU

✦ request — I saw you write for Sasuke. I wanted to know if you can write something where he isn’t happy dating Sakura so he breaks up with her and recruits ps reader to fake date so Sakura doesn’t bother him anymore and reader wants to get rid of Shikamaru so she says yes and they fall in love while faking? something smutty at the end maybe? You can make it modern if you want

✦ warnings — light jealousy, mentions of food and alcohol, drama, nsfw, smut, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, unprotected sex (please don’t do this), fluff.

✦ a/n — is it too obvious that it was raining when I wrote this?

════════════════════════

A sudden thunder startled you, prompting you to look at the clock. It was almost time for you to leave the coffee shop. Hoping you could get home before the rainstorm hit, you hurried up.

You had to swallow a groan when you heard the front door open. You hated that damn bell. Lifting your head to take the order, you were greeted by a huff.

“I thought you would be on your way out already,” Sasuke stated blandly.

“My shift is over in ten minutes.” You made a pause, waiting for him to speak. When he only stared back, you asked, “Are you going to order?”

He shook his head. “I’ll wait for you outside.”

Not having a single clue as to why he would wait for you, and honestly not caring too much about it, you went on with the clean-up.

Sasuke and you were as close friends as two busy people could be. You didn’t share many classes, and he spent most of his free time with Sakura. Your free time was different than his, working and studying at the same left you with a small window of opportunities to enjoy yourself.

There was also the fact that busy or not, you avoided parties like the plague.

Sasuke was still outside when you were finally done, waiting for you with his arms crossed.

Upon seeing you, he made a gesture with his head for you to walk with him. Looking up at the sky, you shrugged, you wouldn’t make it home dry either way.

“So...” you trailed off, uncomfortable by his silence. You were used to it, yet there was something off-putting in his pace.

He halted his steps, taking his keys out. Unlocking the car, Sasuke opened the passenger door. “Get in.”

You wouldn’t say no to keeping yourself from getting soaked by the coming rain. Sliding your backpack off your shoulders, you got into the car, fitting the bag between your knees.

“Dinner?”

Putting the seatbelt on, you tilted your head to read his expression. You found a neutral one, which you should have expected. “Uh... sure.”

Humming, he ignited the engine.

Gripping the handle, you breathed in and out a couple of times, thinking he would be a reckless driver.

Sasuke wasn’t a careful driver by any means, he just wasn’t as extreme as one would imagine. Still, you were relieved when it was over.

He chose the table farther away from the other people at the diner, side-eyeing you to make sure. So unlike him.

“Is there a particular reason why we’re hanging out on a Friday night?”

He rested his back against the back of the chair. “Can’t I hang out with a friend because I’m nice?”

“... no?”

“I need your help,” he admitted through his teeth.

You took a sip of your beverage. “What’s up?”

“I need you to be my girlfriend.” Seeing your weirded out expression, Sasuke clarified, “Fake girlfriend.”

“People don’t need partners, and you have a girlfriend already.”

“Not since a couple of weeks ago.”

For someone who had just broken up with their high school sweetheart, he was way too calm.

He added, “I told her I liked you.”

“Why the hell would you say that?”

He shrugged. “It was the first thing that came to mind, but she keeps saying we can make it work.”

Now Sakura’s attitude towards you was starting to make sense. You had never been friends, but you considered her an acquaintance — she often visited Hinata, and the past weeks hadn’t been the exception.

However, she had stopped greeting you and when you passed the living room on your way to your bedroom she would glare at you. It was hard to blame her when her now ex-boyfriend had been such an asshole.

“Well, tell her I rejected you or something.”

“I’m sure Shikamaru would love to hear that.”

You tensed at Shikamaru’s mention.

Everyone said you should’ve been flattered, and you were at first. He was sweet and attentive, so interested in you that he had told you to take as much time as you needed. In your head, falling for him wouldn’t be too hard if you got to know him.

But he misread your intentions, and after the first date, he got overbearing.

Hinata found it extremely romantic, and Ino bluntly told you to be realistic because finding a guy as nice as him would be hard later on.

What bothered you the most was the tone in which your friends spoke as if this was your only chance to find someone who would like you. Their intentions might have been pure, but the implications behind their comments hurt.

Clearing your throat, you licked your bottom lip. “For how long?”

“Until they get the hint.”

Entering a relationship out of nowhere sounder more like a slap on the face than a hint. Sasuke had never been subtle, though.

The rain had intensified by the time you came out of the restaurant.

Sasuke drove more carefully this time, frustrated to no end due to the traffic but more carefully.

The moment he parked, he stopped you from getting out of the car, holding your forearm. “Invite me in.”

“Why?”

“It’s raining and you don’t want me to get in an accident.”

“Who said that?”

He glared at you. Glaring back, you waited for a good explanation which he didn’t seem to have. He was just being petty, nothing new.

Defeated, you let out a sigh. “Hurry up, then.”

He bolted out of the car, grimacing as the water fell onto him. You walked past him, greeting the security guard of the building as you brushed water off your eyes.

Sasuke was beside you in seconds to eventually follow you into the elevator.

“Give me that.” He took your backpack off your grasp before you could swing it over your shoulder.

Protesting would have been a waste of time. You were tired.

Struggling to take your keys out of your jean pocket, inwardly chastising yourself for still giving those tiny things use, you found yourself hoping he wouldn’t mock you.

He didn’t. He stood still, silently, only shifting when the doors opened and one of your neighbors entered the elevator.

Finally, after two more stops, you arrived at your floor. You didn’t mind how tall the building was, nor the fact that Hinata had chosen the second to highest floor — the only thing you found bothersome were the constant stops at the elevator; the stairs were a nightmare too, and your shoes were wet.

Sliding the key in, you felt his hand on your back, encouraging you to open the door. He must have known Sakura was there. It was kind of fucked up, honestly.

“You had me worr—“ Hinata cut herself off, blinking rapidly to hide her shock.

Trying your hardest to avoid looking at Sakura, you focused on Hinata’s worried face. “Sorry, I should’ve told you I would be late.”

He greeted Hinata and Sakura with a nod, sliding the hand on your back up to your shoulder only to place his free one on your other shoulder too, hoping you would get the hint.

You felt his touch get lighter as you made your way toward your bedroom until you let him get in first and he got his hands off you.

Sasuke put your backpack down, resting it against the foot of the bed. You closed the door, watching him curiously look around.

He had never been there. You hadn’t started living with Hinata until a couple of months ago when she told you she was looking for a roommate.

Sasuke had visited your family’s home dozens of times, mostly in middle school and the first year of high school, back when he was more abrasive. Your mom often said he found refugee in your room because you never forced him to speak.

But your mom had been wrong many times. Unconsciously, you shook your head. You were only upsetting your own self thinking about times that would never come back. She had left years ago.

The voices in the living room mingled with the sounds of the rain, you caught bits and pieces of the conversation. Your name was mentioned once, but you didn’t get the context. Not that you needed it.

Your opinions of Sakura weren’t strong, you didn’t dislike her at all but that wasn’t saying much when you didn’t really know her. From what you had heard, which varied depending on who was talking, she wasn’t so bad.

She probably hated you now so caring would be stressing yourself over things you couldn’t fix.

“Why didn’t you choose someone else? Many people would happily do it.”

“They would be annoying.”

Wow. That was almost a compliment.

To be fair, he seemed to attract overbearing people who didn’t get no for an answer.

And now you would also have to put up with those people. Or maybe not, he was way more popular around campus than you were and this wasn’t high school anymore.

He yawned, squeezing his eyes shut to then immediately open them and blink rapidly.

“You can lay down if you’re tired,” you assured him.

“I don’t like cuddling.”

“I didn’t ask you to cuddle me nor intended to cuddle you.”

“Ah.” He rubbed the back of his head, avoiding to look at your face. “The rain is slowing down either way.”

It sounded like it was. Urging him to go before the rain got worse would surely be rude, then again, he didn’t seem to take offense over most things.

You didn’t have to tell him. He pushed himself up, staring at you. You only stared back, assuming he would say something.

He dropped his hand onto the doorknob, twisting it and pulling the door open. You followed him toward the front door, somewhat confused.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said lowly, still audible to Hinata and Sakura.

You nodded. “Be safe, yeah?”

Humming, he got closer to you. “I’ll text you when I get home.”

Breathily, aware of his body heat as it felt like it was burning your skin, you told him, “Please.”

Sasuke placed his lips on yours, giving you a short kiss — so short you weren’t able to kiss his soft lips back.

He left without saying goodbye to Hinata and Sakura. The gesture, or lack thereof, made you more uncomfortable than it should have.

Sakura’s eyes, full of hurt and resentment, weren’t what made you feel bad — Hinata’s disappointed face did.

════════════════════════

Going out to the movies with friends was better as a mere concept than in practice. Hinata said it would be fun, that they had waited for you to be free to finally see that movie.

You weren’t close to most of the group, they were all nice in their own way, you supposed, but the truth was you had never clicked with anyone but Hinata and Ino.

Hinata came to a halt in front of Naruto and Shikamaru, arm linked with yours as she smiled at her boyfriend and friend. You greeted them too, trying to take your arm off Hinata’s grasp.

“We can have a double date now,” Naruto said teasingly.

“We wouldn’t want Shikamaru to feel like a third wheel.”

As usual, after one of your remarks, Naruto pouted at you while Shikamaru let out a loud sigh. You almost felt bad because this time the quip was true.

An arm wrapped around your upper back, tugging you to the other side. Hinata finally let your arm go.

“Sorry I’m late,” Sasuke apologized, lips brushing your temple as he explained to you that Itachi had made him lose time.

As he left a kiss on your temple, you angled your head to take a look at him. The corners of his mouth twitched upward for a millisecond.

Naruto, being Naruto, couldn’t stop himself from loudly asking, “Am I missing something?”

“It’s pretty obvious,” Sasuke deadpanned, “so no, you are not.”

You didn’t look at any of your companions. Hinata hadn’t said anything to you the night before after Sakura left, and while you were getting ready she avoided the topic purposefully.

Feeling smaller than you were, you leaned onto Sasuke before thinking what you were doing. His arm draped over your shoulder as he slid his forearm up to the back of your neck, bringing you slightly closer.

Silence lingered between the group.

“Should we buy the tickets and wait for the others there?” Hinata tried to ease the tension.

Her attempts were in vain. Naruto failed to hide his shock when Sasuke said the two of you would buy the snacks. And no one would ever think he was at fault when the last time Sasuke had been openly attentive had been when he took Kiba to the hospital after breaking his nose with a football.

With Sasuke at your left and Shikamaru at your right, you found yourself wishing the film was over already. It hadn’t even started yet.

“Oh.”

You didn’t have to turn to the side to know the one who had shrieked was Sakura who was accompanied by Ino. One of them stepped on your foot, prompting Sakura to feign an apologetic tone when you let a sound close to a whine escape as she sat down sandwiched between Shikamaru and Ino.

Sasuke placed his hand on your knee. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” You held the straw between your fingers, leaning to take a sip, drinking slowly.

He didn’t take his eyes off you until the movie started, not even to eat. Part of you assumed he was looking at Shikamaru or Sakura and not at you.

You felt him inch his hand up to your thigh. With his free hand, he removed the popcorn from his lap and placed it on the floor.

He moved the drink you were sharing to the cup holder to his left. Taking the hint, you lifted the armrest separating you.

Withdrawing his hand to swing his arm over you as you barely rested your head on him, he gazed down at you. Taking your attention back to the screen, hoping you hadn’t missed anything important, you allowed him to push your head onto his chest.

He smelled good, fresh and clean with something new there. He must’ve had been wearing a different cologne.

If you knew something about Sasuke was that he liked consistency. He wasn’t one for experimenting once he liked something — his haircut hadn’t changed since he was thirteen, his clothing style —which seemed to be inspired by his brother’s— had been the same since the beginning of high school, and he had only dated one person even though thousands swarmed around him.

“I’m bored,” he whispered.

Shifting to speak closer to his ear, you whispered back, “You picked this movie.”

He ignored your comment. “Kiss me.”

Holding his face with your right hand, you lifted your head off his warm coat. Sasuke allowed you to take your time, frowning under the flashing lights from the screen when you started to analyze his face.

Blinking rapidly, letting out a shaky breath, you closed the gap between your mouths. He reciprocated instantly, curling his arm around you so you wouldn’t move.

It was slow, calculated on his behalf which annoyed you. It was a kiss, for show or not, it was just a kiss and he still had to make sure it was perfect.

And it was. His lips shouldn’t have been that soft, and he had no business being such a good kisser. Sasuke’s hand, light on your plush waist, sent shivers down your spine due to its coldness.

You deepened the kiss, sliding your hand to the back of his head.

Fuck. Why were you so willing to make out with him?

════════════════════════

School was a nightmare on Monday, people stared at you without blinking and double-checked whether you had really arrived with Sasuke or not.

Overwhelmed by questions that followed you to every class and even to work, you also had to put up with Sakura’s glare and Shikamaru’s hurt semblance.

Your assumptions had naively been that things would simmer down yet you had never felt regret quite like this.

Nothing would have mattered if Ino hadn’t taken things so badly. She wasn’t speaking to you, that was how mad she was. Your best friend didn’t have the decency to explain why your ‘relationship’ with Sasuke bothered her so much that she felt the need to stop talking to you for three weeks straight.

Hinata had been about to tell you something a particular Saturday, but she seemed to think it was useless and after asking you to be careful, she left the apartment with Naruto.

Your cellphone dinged. Cringing at the sound, you silenced it and then unlocked the device to read the text.

Are you busy? I’m bored.

Sasuke was always bored, you would’ve guessed it without him stating the obvious.

I’m watching TV.

That’s a no, then. Get out of your pajama, I’ll be there in 20.

How the hell did he know you were wearing pajamas?

What should I wear, dad?

Kinky. Casual clothes. But wear comfortable shoes, I don’t want to hear you complain.

Heat crawled up your face, prompting you to exhale at a slow pace. Dropping the cellphone onto the couch, you walked toward your room.

To your surprise, he wasn’t wearing a shirt and a coat. Instead, he sported a plain t-shirt and a bomber jacket.

It wasn’t that the outfit didn’t suit him, it did, but you needed a few minutes to get used to the style. He glared at you when he caught you staring which made you deviate your eyes to the car.

Nodding, he opened the door for you. Relieved that he hadn’t snapped at you for checking him out, you entered the car in silence.

“Do you watch a lot of TV?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He reformulated, “Are you a television buff?”

“Eh. I don’t have enough time to watch much.”

His only answer was a hum.

Bowling. He took you bowling. The thing he knew you were so bad at that every time your friends suggested the activity you found an excuse to skip.

He looked so smug, draping his arm around your shoulders as a teasing boyfriend would to their partner.

You let out an annoyed sigh, not shying away from letting him know he had achieved the amusement he had been seeking.

“I’ll teach you,” he assured lowly.

You picked the shoes you were given, trying not to make a face. Thanking the clerk, who wasn’t at fault for the horrendous style of the shoes nor for how petty Sasuke got to be, you walked toward the bench.

He sat down beside you, undoing his sneakers.

“Why did you make me wear comfortable shoes when I would have to put on these ugly things anyway?”

“I forgot.”

Inserting both your names on the computer, he nodded upward so you would pick a ball.

You looked for his approval, fitting your fingers in a red ball and lifting it as you stared at him.

“Is that comfortable for you?”

“Yeah.”

He got closer to you, settling his hand on your upper arm. “You need to relax your muscles, otherwise you’ll hurt yourself.”

Nodding, you wetted your lips. Why did they feel so dry? “Now what?”

“Try to score more points than me.”

Asshole.

At least you had a good time.

════════════════════════

There you were, smiling at people as you gave them their orders and offering to take over when your coworker was struggling with the espresso machine.

Sasuke had pushed the thought of his assignment to the side, too busy watching you rearrange cups. It was soothing to see, an activity so mundane yet so important to your job.

“Stop staring at her,” Naruto chastised. “It’s creepy.”

“I can stare as much as I want.”

“I wasn’t talking to you,” the blond mumbled, motioning with his head at Shikamaru who had twisted his body to give you all his attention.

Sasuke glowered at his best friend, then at Shikamaru. He stared at you again, watching you disappear behind the door that led to the back. Annoyed, he threw his books into the backpack and closed his laptop.

Both men in front of him curiously stared. Ah, so now they wanted to pay attention, huh.

Standing up, he swung the backpack onto his left shoulder. As if on cue, you stepped out of the kitchen, apron-less and struggling to zip your jacket. When you finally achieved it, your eyes found his.

Approaching him, pursing your lips, you fixed the uneven string of his hoodie with both hands. A twinge of red appeared on his cheeks, yet he didn’t push you away.

“Where’s your bag?”

“Hinata took it with her.”

Sasuke hummed, staring past your shoulder. “We should get going.”

Nodding, you motioned for him to lead the way. He grabbed your hand, dragging you out of the shop before you could say goodbye to Naruto and Shikamaru.

He walked mindlessly, passing the spot where his car was parked. His fingers squeezed yours, trapping them in between.

“Where are we going?”

“I don’t know.”

You stayed silent. He was clearly in a bad mood, and you weren’t going to coddle him into talking about it. He would never do it either way.

The walk was nice, the silence he had forced you into added to the enjoyment. The city was busy, always, no matter the time, and you could hear bits and pieces of conversations and songs as you passed different businesses.

He huffed. “Why do you even work at a coffee shop?”

“It’s temporary. After the internship, I haven’t found the right fit in terms of schedule...”

He hummed, encouraging you to complete your comment.

You added the real reason why you had settled, “The coffee shop gave me the perfect excuse to move out of my dad’s house.”

“I didn’t like living at my parent’s house anymore either. My brother tried to convince me to move in with him, but it defeated the purpose.”

“Itachi is cool, though.”

He narrowed his eyes. “He is cool? My brother?”

“Yeah.” You shrugged. “Everybody thinks so. I’m pretty sure we all have had a crush on him at some point.”

“Hn.”

He didn’t say another word. Turning around, he dragged you all the way back.

He didn’t answer when he dropped you off at your building and you told him to be safe either. Not even with a nod or one of his grunts.

Wondering if you had done something wrong, if perhaps talking about his brother like that had been too much, you let out a chuckle.

You were reading too much into his attitude, why would he get upset over hearing a fact?

Now, Sasuke himself was handsome, you could admit that. But admitting that was like saying flowers were pretty, or that puppies were cute — it was so obvious, so agreed upon that the repetitiveness of the admission would have been pointless; a tad bit annoying.

Checking your phone, eager to see his “I’m home” text, you entered the kitchen.

“You know he doesn’t like you, right?”

Grabbing a couple of grapes, you asked, “What makes you say that?”

“Sasuke doesn’t like PDA, and he isn’t normally chatty. He’s using you to spite Sakura.”

You felt something heavy on your chest. Swallowing your spit, you popped a grape into your mouth and chewed it slowly.

She continued, taking your stance as a cue to speak, “When he was with Sakura—“

You snapped, almost choking on the fruit you had just swallowed, “I am not Sakura, so I don’t care.”

“Ino told me you would say that...”

“Oh, so she can talk about me but she can’t talk to me?” you rasped, immediately coughing up after.

“She needs time. This is weird, and we’re both...” she sighed, searching for the right word, “worried. You turned down a guy who sees you as a goddess for someone known to be emotionally unavailable.”

“I don’t want to be seen as a goddess. I am not one, I have no desire to be held to a standard I can’t possibly match.”

Hinata looked skeptical, as if you had ever shown any desire to be perceived as a mystical being.

You started gesturing with your hands, hoping she would understand what you were coming from, “I want to be seen like a person who can’t always react in the best way possible and is insecure at times... I want to know the other person won’t run away because I’m not the cookie-cutter woman they imagined.”

”Sasuke is not the one who can give you that either.”

You frowned.

“Sakura tried—“

You rolled your eyes, feeling an approaching headache. “Do you know how many times he has compared me to her? Zero!”

Hinata dropped her eyes to the floor, shaking her head. “You’re falling for him.”

“I am not!”

“Why are you getting so defensive? You are dating him.”

“Because you’re insinuating I’m being blinded by him!”

“Of course not. You’re just ignoring what you can clearly see.”

You weren’t ignoring anything.

No, really, you weren’t.

He was using you with your consent. You were more than fine with it.

Your stomach churned.

Shit.

════════════════════════

You found Hinata’s commitment endearing. She had asked you a few weeks ago if you would be okay with her throwing Naruto a birthday party at the apartment.

When you said yes, you didn’t imagine she would be so bossy. She had you all working on different things while she and Sakura baked and decorated the cake.

Your duty was making sure everything was as she had planned. Her drawings were amazingly detailed, and you were getting more nervous as you compared the real thing with the paper.

“I think we need more...” Shikamaru made a dramatic gesture with both hands.

“Color?” you offered.

“Exactly!”

It looked more than fine to you in terms of color. It was just a birthday party for a young adult, not a thematic party for a child. What the balloons needed was to stay on the wall.

Shikamaru leaned against said wall. A balloon fell in front of him.“Remember when you did the decoration for the Christmas party in eighth grade?”

“Oh, the paper trees?”

He nodded with a smile appearing on his face. “We could make some paper shapes and glue them to the wall.”

Sensing he was too close, you stepped backward. “I don’t know if we have enough—“ you stopped yourself when your back collided against someone behind you.

Recognizing the hands that were holding your waist, you turned around. Sasuke raised both eyebrows, as though he was expecting something.

“What are you doing here? Where is Naruto?”

“Itachi wanted to take him shopping and finally teach him how to dress.”

“His style isn’t that bad.”

He tugged you closer, humming. “If you say so.”

“Why don’t you help us to stick the balloons on the wall?”

Sasuke analyzed the wall behind you, frowning. God, it must’ve looked ugly. He dragged his hands up, fingers brushing your arm as he snatched the piece of paper off your hand.

“Bring those tapes you bought for bullet journaling in high school.”

You whined. He didn’t have to remind you of that phase. You never did bullet journaling, by the way, the tapes were too cute for you to waste them.

Sighing, you shook him off you. “Fine.”

Hinata shot you a surprised look when you passed the kitchen, carrying the box where you stored the stationary you never used.

Sat on the floor, you wasted your precious time crafting a balloon arch. Sasuke would hand you the balloons and hold them for you to tape while Shikamaru made sure the arch stayed against the wall.

The accumulated weight made it all easier, and it would surely stay there as decoration until the balloons naturally deflated. That made you feel a little less shitty for how much balloons ruined the environment.

Naruto’s reaction made it all worth it. The change of style wouldn’t last, you were sure, but he looked happy.

You caught Itachi staring at you. Sliding your arm off Sasuke’s, you approached the older Uchiha.

“Long time no see.” His smile didn’t fill his dark eyes as he greeted you.

You tried to chuckle. “Two years? Three?”

“Something like that.” He brought his cup to his lips. You waited for what he wanted to say. He let it out, “I’m worried about my brother.” It sounded like a confession.

Taking a sip of your own cup, you took the bait, “Can I ask why?”

“I would be alarmed if his girlfriend didn’t ask why.”

“I didn’t want to intrude.”

“How many times did you see him this week?”

“Every day at campus.”

“And after?” Your silence was the answer he had anticipated. “You don’t have to tell me if you’ve been fighting, but you need to fix things.”

“W—what? No! We are fine.”

He didn’t believe you. “He never got this upset when he fought with Sakura.”

“Why does everyone insist on comparing me to her?!”

“Because he dumped her for you.”

You hated hearing that. It wasn’t true, and if it had been it would’ve been fucked up so you would’ve stayed away. At least you wanted to believe that. “I didn’t force him.”

Itachi rested his hand on your shoulder, brotherly encouraging you, “Go talk to him. You’ll do everybody a favor.”

Instead of looking for Sasuke, you decided to entrench yourself in your bedroom. Everyone was having fun, you didn’t want to sour the mood with whatever it was you were feeling.

You bumped into Ino on your way to your room. She ignored you while you followed her with your eyes. She was handed a drink by Sakura.

Shaking your head, you continued your path. Were the hostilities worth it? Your best friend seemed to have forgotten you existed, Sakura hated you, Shikamaru hadn’t given up... and the worst part of it all, Hinata was right.

Closing the door behind you, letting out a long sigh, you failed to see you weren’t alone.

Sasuke took his earphones off, sitting up on your bed where he had been laying on his back.

You sat down on the edge of the bed. “Why are you here?”

“You left me alone to go with Itachi.”

“You should talk to him,” you told him, hoping it would convince him to leave the room. “He’s worried about you.”

“Your crush Itachi?”

“Your brother Itachi.”

Sasuke grunted.

You left the bed in order to snatch the zippered hoodie on your desk chair. To your luck, the autumn air would get too chilly while you were trying to unwind.

He grabbed you by the wrist, startling you.

“What the fuck is your problem, Sasuke?”

“What’s yours? Since when do you get so worked up by me not saying anything?”

“Since when do you ignore the person you are supposedly dating for an entire week?”

Dropping your wrist, he shrugged, only staring at you to see your reaction.

“This was a mistake.”

Picking your keys, you dropped them into your pocket. You took your cellphone so you could let know Hinata you were fine and walked to the door.

“So that’s it?” He asked harshly. “You’re going to leave me in your room, take a walk, come back, kiss Shikamaru and pretend this didn’t mean anything?”

“Yeah,” you admitted. He had picked up on it quicker than it took you to plan it. “He’s nice and hasn’t given up.”

You counted his steps. One, two — he messed with his hair. Three, four — he looked taller as he approached you. Five, six — his chest heaved up and down. Seven, eight — he fixed his eyes on yours. Nine, ten — why were you counting?

“Is he?”

You nodded, holding his gaze.

“Do you want to know what’s going to happen?” He didn’t wait for you to answer. “You will do all of that, regret it when he becomes unbearable again, and wish I was there so you could use me some more.”

“I am the one who used you?!” The fucking nerve of this guy. “It was your idea.”

“Well, I stopped doing it a week after!” He exploded.

No, no, no. You shook your head, trying to find a way to put more distance between you and him.

“You don’t know what you want. You just haven’t spent enough time with other people. AND we wouldn’t even work that well together! I like showing affection and you don’t, a—and I talk too much for my own good...”

“Haven’t I shown you enough affection already?”

“It’s different. That was fake.” You explained it to him, “I mean doing things because you want, because showing the other person that you care feels good. Sometimes it’s handholding but others is not doing it because you can tell that person is—“

He cupped your face to shut you up, bumping his nose with yours. Slanting his head, he gave you the chance to push him away, to tell him no. That didn’t happen, you couldn’t do it, you didn’t want to do it.

He kissed you, and you kissed him back. Your hands traveled up his arms, stopping at his shoulders. Sasuke hummed into the kiss, sliding his hand to the back of your head while the other stayed on your cheek.

You parted from him, barely allowing some space to exist between you two as you analyzed his expression.

“I was angry,” he confessed under his breath. “Itachi is nicer than me, more of your type.”

“You misunderstood what I said.”

He nodded. “I was mad already, but then you spoke about my brother like that and...” clenching his jaw, he turned his head to the side. Sasuke stared at the wall, willing it to show him the appropriate words to say. “Being with you feels right and I don’t want to lose that. I wish I had seen it sooner.”

You giggled out of nervousness — this was more nerve-wracking than being seen as a goddess. This was real, you hadn’t done much to achieve it. And he was correct, it felt right.

Breathing in and out at a slow rhythm, you found yourself toying with the seam of his t-shirt. “I shouldn’t like you this much.”

“I personally believe you should.”

You did it anyway. It couldn’t be that bad if there was no fiber of your being that didn’t scream in some level of awe every time you were around him. Or every time you thought of him. Or when you heard his name being uttered.

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pulled him into another kiss.

Sasuke moved his hands to your hips, gripping them tightly as he angled his face to deepen the kiss. His tongue slid past his lips and pried yours open, caressing your tongue once you gave him access.

Movement behind you interrupted the heated kiss. The door was pushed open. You craned your neck, arms still around Sasuke as your eyes fell on Hinata.

“We’re about to sing Happy Birthday to Naruto.”

Sasuke sighed shakily, withdrawing his hands from your body.

Hinata didn’t leave your room until you showed signs of intending to follow her to the dining room. Sasuke trailed behind you, hurrying to grab your hand.

Everyone was staring at you instead of focusing on Naruto. You avoided looking at anyone but the celebrated, wanting the song to be over already.

Ino stared blankly for a moment, eyes moving to your shoulder. And it dawned on you — it had never been about your happiness or comfort.

She liked Sasuke too.

════════════════════════

He watched you fidget in the middle of his kitchen as you used to in middle school, back when you weren’t able to string a sentence in front of a stranger without stuttering.

He grew worried as your fidgeting turned into pacing.

“Why are you so tense?”

You shrugged dismissively. “Things out of my control.”

Controlling the way other people felt wasn’t something you ever wanted. It sounded like the worst superpower in the world. You just wished Ino would’ve told you the truth.

Losing friends over a guy was not how you thought your love life would go when you accepted helping him. It didn’t cross your mind when you realized you had fallen for him — perhaps because his reciprocity hadn’t been something you foresaw either.

“You can stay with me tonight if you want,” he offered like he knew exactly what the problem was.

“Wouldn’t you like that?” you joked.

“Very much.”

You almost smiled. Your gut told you to hug him, kiss every millimeter of his gorgeous face, and just forget about everything else. Your brain found the idea stupid.

”Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“Do you really hate affection?” God, what an annoying question to make. “ I— I don’t want to be repetitive with the topic, but I would feel awful if I was forcing you to display anything.”

“You’re not forcing me.”

Sasuke beckoned you closer, resting his forehead on yours when you complied. You forgot the words you were meaning to say, willing to get lost in his eyes and never come back.

You cradled his face, leaning forward. Brushing your lips against his, you decided that worrying and feeling bad would only keep you from experiencing this. And so you kissed him more firmly, stomach flipping when he chuckled on your mouth.

He broke the kiss for a fleeting moment, just to mumble, “I’ll show you real affection.”

His lips returned to yours, kissing you aggressively. He left you breathless, gasping for more of his mouth instead of air. His hands roamed your body as he kissed you.

Your heart hammered in your chest, feeling him push you backward. Your back hit the counter and he used the fact as leverage to grind against you.

Dragging his mouth down your throat, he put the soft kisses he had been meaning to litter all over your neck for weeks to the side and instead sucked on your tender skin.

The actions granted him a whimper on your behalf. His hips bucked up, prompting you to trail your hands down his torso. He refused to disconnect your fronts, grinding on you some more.

Sasuke toyed with the edge of your t-shirt, barely inching it up as he did so. His fingers brushed your soft stomach. “Take it off.”

Gripping the hem of your t-shirt, you slid off as quickly as you could, awkwardly holding it in your hand. Sasuke pried it off your hand, throwing the fabric to the side.

He took his shirt off too, letting it fall on top of yours. His hands were back on you instantly, running up your torso as he fit his knee between your legs.

You unabashedly groped his shoulders and back, attaching your mouth to his collarbone. Sasuke grunted, bringing his hands down to undo your jeans.

He cupped your pussy, fingers pushing your panties flush against your labia. He felt the material dampen just as you ground on his hand.

“Be patient.”

You whined. “Don’t tease me then.”

Pushing your jeans and panties down to your knees, he collected your wetness, spreading it up and down. “You think that’s teasing?”

“I don’t care. Do something.”

His thumb brushed your clit. He drew light circles on it, eyes fixed on your needy ones. He smiled, satisfied with the effect he was having on you.

Slowly, he slid a finger in your pussy, pressing his thumb on your clit. He caressed your walls, taking his time to make sure he wouldn’t hurt you.

The addition of a second digit came with harsher movements. The curling of his fingers inside you consequentially led him to rub your clit.

“Do you like that?”

You hung your head forward, gripping his shoulders as you hummed. Not able to help it, you arched your back, lifting your hips. His name erupted from your lips, tone needy as you asked him not to stop the scissoring movement.

“Use your words, baby, tell me how good I’m making you feel.”

Your walls momentarily squeezed his fingers. “So good.”

He kissed your jaw, then dragged his mouth against your skin, peppering kisses down your neck.

“Turn around.”

“Bu—“

“It’s been a while, I’m not going to last long.”

You bent over the counter with your ass up, waiting for him. A thrill ran down your spine when you heard him zip down his pants.

He rubbed the tip of his cock over your slit, making you whimper. You lightly shook your ass, encouraging him to get inside you already.

Giving you a playfully spank, Sasuke dipped into your pussy. His breath hitched, the warmth enveloping him was better than he had imagined. You could feel every inch filling you, his veins throbbing against your walls.

As impatient as you were, you craned your neck. “Give me a moment,” you said shakily, “it’s been a while for me too.”

His fingers trailed up and down your sides, silently assuring you that you could take as much time as you needed.

You didn’t need much time, your lust for him, combined with his soft touch, and how good he felt seated inside you, were more than enough for you to relax.

“You can move.”

He started slow, resting his hands on your waist as he pulled out only to enter you again. He did it a couple of times until he was sure you weren’t experiencing discomfort.

The pace was too slow in your opinion, a waste of time. You didn’t care how long he would last, at that point you just wanted him to make you come.

“I’ll do whatever you want,“ you promised urgently, “just go fast.”

His hands moved up. While his right one groped your chest, trying to free your tits from the bra, his left arm wrapped tightly around your middle.

Thrusting up into you, he managed to sneak his hand into your bra. Pinching your nipple, he relished in the sounds you were making, in how tightly you were squeezing him.

It made him quicken up his pace. The arm around you loosened for a moment so he could trail his hand down. Finding your clit again, he started rubbing it, this time with quick circular movements.

You gripped the counter, crying out. You wanted to thrash and scream all at once, in part because you were sure he would’ve liked it but mostly because your legs were already tingling.

He didn’t miss a single time. Not only was he hitting your g-spot repeatedly, but Sasuke had also put the inhibitions aside and with his breath on your cheek, he was moaning in your ear, moving his palm to your other breast, kneading it. You shifted on your feet, wishing you could do anything else than hold onto the counter.

His thrusts were getting sloppy, fingers rubbing your clit fervently.

You let out a string of courses through whines, brain getting fuzzy as he nuzzled against your neck.

Pulsing around him, your curses became incoherent sounds that mingled with his groans and hums.

Sasuke rasped in your ear, “Come all over me.”

You didn’t trust your words, not when his own went straight to your lower stomach. There was nothing you longed for more than pleasing him. He had demanded it, and you complied quicker than your pride would ever allow you to admit.

He blurted your name, spilling inside you after a few finishing snaps from his hips.

Guiding you to a standing position, pushing your belly against the edge of the counter as his sweaty chest heaved against your back, Sasuke attempted to catch his breath.

Fascinated by the fact that you were using a blow dryer to dry your panties, Sasuke leaned against the bathroom’s doorway.

“Do you need help?”

“No.”

“Are you mad at me?”

You turned the panties inside out, just making sure you were drying them properly. “Why would I be mad? It wasn’t on purpose.”

The bathroom became silent as you turned the dryer off. Sliding the panties on, you stared at him with eyebrows raised.

Sasuke scoffed, looking away. Clearing his throat, he announced, “The kitchen is clean already.”

Turning the light off, you walked past him into his bedroom. He placed his hands on your waist, sitting down on his bed as you stood between his legs.

“Are you staying?”

“Yeah. Hinata texted me, she wants the apartment all for her and Naruto.”

His brow furrowed. “But... would you stay if she hadn’t said anything?”

Moving a strand of hair off his face, you assured him, “Yes.”

Sasuke hummed, sliding his hands to your back in order to wrap his arms around you. Holding onto his shoulders, you blew air on his face to keep that stupid hair from covering his eyes.

Amused, he shook his head vigorously to mess his hair. You pouted. He snorted, tugging on your hips to bring you onto the bed on top of him.

Resting your weight on your arm, laying on your side, you reached out to fix his hair. Sasuke pushed your hand away, shifting to face you.

“You need to trim that hair.”

He grunted. “What’s wrong with my hair?”

“Nothing really, but it doesn’t let me admire your eyes.”

A red tint appeared on his face. You kissed his flushed cheek, smiling against his skin.

“You’re enjoying this way too much,” he whispered.

“I’ve already admitted I like you, the least I can do is enjoy making you blush.”

Sasuke repositioned himself on the mattress, closer to you as his new position on his side naturally allowed him to. He gave you a kiss out of nowhere.

You laid on your back to give your arm a break, draping your other arm over his frame to trail your fingers down his spine.

He dropped his head onto your chest, sighing softly, while his arm circled your waist.

“I thought you didn’t like cuddling,” you commented, worried that he would get uncomfortable.

“I might’ve lied,” he mumbled, nuzzling on your t-shirt.