#fulltrui

[skaldish]

Hey do you know what a fultrui is? Everywhere I look is a different answer 😅

Yeah it means "fully trusted one"! It's Old Icelandic is origin, but modern Heathens adopted it and use it to refer to deities they consider their patrons.

For me, a fulltrui is a deity who I've built such considerable rapport with that they are now my confidant. Loki is my fulltrui.

[nordseehexe]

Innerhalb des Neopaganismus existieren viele unterschiedliche Konzepte des Göttlichen. Häufig wird vor allem dem Pantheismus (Welt = Gott) ein großer Einfluss auf den Neopaganismus zugesprochen oder generell dem Pantheismus eine neopagane Tendenz bescheinigt. Strömungen, welche die Götter lediglich als Allegorien, Bilder, Prinzipien, Verkörperungen von Naturkräften oder Sinnbilder auffassen, können als prinzipiell atheistisch angesehen werden, andererseits lassen sich neopagane Strömungen, in denen die reale Existenz der Gottheiten weder bejaht noch verneint wird, als agnostisch bezeichnen. Während in der Göttinnenspiritualität oder Wicca der Kosmos bzw. die Erde mehr oder weniger mit dem Göttlichen identifiziert wird, sind andere Richtungen wie Ásatrú prinzipiell kosmotheistisch und die Götter sind nicht allmächtig, sondern prinzipiell wie der Mensch den Gesetzen des Universums unterworfen.

Einige Beispiele:

Hexentum und Wicca: Der Wicca-Glaube wird manchmal, aufgrund seiner Ausrichtung auf die Verehrung von Gott und Göttin, als „Duotheismus“ oder „Bitheismus“ bezeichnet, in der Praxis kann sich dieser jedoch unterschiedlich auswirken, von pantheistischen oder monistischen Konzepten bis hin zu Polytheismus und Henotheismus und, wo die Götter primär als Prinzipien aufgefasst werden, sogar als Form von Atheismus.

Göttinnenspiritualität: Innerhalb der Gaia-Religion oder Pandea existieren sowohl monotheistische als auch polytheistische Sichtweisen. Teilweise wird die Göttin auch mit dem weiblichen Selbst identifiziert.

Keltische Religion: Der keltische Rekonstruktionismus betrachtet sich selbst als polytheistische und animistische Religion, das Druidentum hingegen hat seine Wurzeln in universalistischen und pantheistischen Glaubensvorstellungen, ist heute jedoch auch polytheistischen, duotheistischen oder monistischen Vorstellungen gegenüber aufgeschlossen. Der OBOD nimmt sogar explizit Christen und Buddhisten in seine Reihen auf.

Germanische Religion: Asatru und der Theodismus verstehen sich vor allem als polytheistische Religionen, wobei im Ásatrú mit dem Konzept des „Fulltrui“ auch henotheistische Tendenzen bestehen. Die Ariosophie hingegen ist monotheistisch ausgerichtet oder im Spezialfall sogar agnostisch, wenn ein besonderer Gottesbezug gar keine Rolle mehr spielt.

Thelema: Da in Thelema das Göttliche zumeist mit dem Ich identifiziert wird, betrachtet sich Thelema oft als atheistische Lehre, den Göttern kommen hierbei lediglich Rollen als Prinzipien zu.

Diskordianismus: Der Diskordianismus hat seine Wurzeln im Atheismus, wobei mittlerweile jedoch einige Anhänger begonnen haben, Diskordia als reale Göttin zu begreifen.

Einen großen Einfluss auf den Neopaganismus hatten auch die Theorien des Psychologen Carl Gustav Jung, welcher die verschiedenen Gottheiten als Archetypen der Seele aller Menschen interpretierte. C. G. Jung wird in vielen Strömungen, wie z. B. Wicca, rezipiert: So wird sein Mutterarchetyp mit der Göttin und der Vaterarchetyp mit dem Gott identifiziert und sogar Jungs Theorie selbst ein inhärenter Paganismus attestiert. Andererseits gibt es jedoch auch scharfe Ablehnungen einer reinen Betrachtungsweise der Götter als Teilen der menschlichen Seele.

Viele Neuheiden lehnen allerdings diese theologischen Spekulationen rundweg ab. Wie in den antiken Religionen haben für sie ein bestimmtes Bekenntnis und ein Set von Dogmen keine besondere Relevanz in der Praxis. Viel wichtiger ist ihnen richtiges Handeln, also dass Kulthandlungen sorgfältig und ehrfürchtig durchgeführt werden.

[thesilverwebbedspider]

as someone once said, “everything is more beautiful because we are doomed. you will never be lovelier than you are now. we will never be here again.” so what better time than now to say this?

Dear Chaos,

it’s been a great few years knowing (loving) you. we’re just two months short of four years, but you and I both know that if I put it off any longer it won’t end well for either of us. I see now why you never asked me to take an oath. And I suppose you see now why I never gave you my hand. we saw this coming, trickster. we both saw this coming. that beautiful august night, in the dim light of my room, my hands trembling as I finally said, “I believe.”--we knew. four years later, the storm, roaring around me as I sat on the roof of my house, high above the storms roaring behind closed doors two storeys under me, when I finally admitted, “I want to be yours.”--we knew. the first time I said, “I love you forever,” you laughed. you laughed, and you left without a word. do you remember? two months later, in the middle of the woods I always go to when I’m running from the lie that is my home, there you were. soundlessly joining me up on my favorite tree, and you said, “never say that again.” you have given me so much, trickster. in your varied, harsh, unpredictable, extreme, absolutely beautiful ways. you have taught me so much. you taught me strength, by taking away my crutches so I could walk on alone. you taught me adaptability, by swiping the rug out from under my feet- throwing me into new worlds, new cities, new people, a whole new wilderness. and you taught me how to not only survive but excel in all of them. you taught me endurance, how to breathe and walk and smile when I have nothing and no-one left but myself, how to go on when anyone else would have laid down and gave up. you taught me cunning and creativity, intelligence and wisdom, curiosity and danger, beauty and birth and life and death. you, of all creatures, taught me acceptance. you brought people to my door, lost people, sick people, dying people, lonely people, those with nowhere left to go, those with skeletons in their closet, those whose lives are always just one more night, one more night, one more night of dragging themselves through it all. you knew I'd take them in, be their sanctuary even if just for one more (one more one more one more) night. and you knew I'd see myself in them, see myself in how they wanted desperately to run away from who they are, what they'd lived, what they'd done to survive--and you knew I couldn't hate them. you knew I would learn to accept myself the way I accepted them, to care for myself the way I cared for them, to love myself the way I learned to love each and every one of them. you taught me truth. how strange is that? the god of lies, teaching me about truth. you taught me how to wear a thousand masks, and how to wear none at all. you taught me to tell the truth even when I’m lying, to believe, and to always always always be true to myself. you taught me that love is freedom, love is pure, love is simple. love is never the one who forces you to stay. It is the one who lets you go, and opens its doors once more when you come back (even when you come back a bloodied black-and-blue mess, with the demons of your past hot on your heels). you taught me the meaning of two of my favorite words in my mother tongue: tulus. ikhlas. you taught me to let go of what I love. to care for it when it stays, to wave it goodbye as it leaves. to keep my heart open for its return, to know and accept the possibility that it never will.

you have taught me more than I had ever hoped for. you have given me more than I ever expected and asked for nothing in return (except for the occasional coffee and cigarette). and the one beautiful gift you have given to me the first time i bound myself to you: freedom. so now, I'm letting go. I'm untying the threads I have bound around my heart for years. for the first time in this beautiful stage of my life, I will live without you. am I scared? confused, hurting, lonely, disoriented? of course. I am terrified. but I am not a devotee of the god of Chaos if I cannot ride the waves of my own heart. in a way, this, too, is a lesson. our relationship has been stagnant as of late. your absences getting longer, the distance between us getting wider. even the words between us feel practiced. as a child of Chaos, isn't it only natural? what to do with stagnancy? destroy it. burn down the forest of rotted trees so that new life may grow. it is scary, yes. the scariest, craziest, hardest thing I thought I would never do, and I did it. and even though right now, as everything climbs to a peak in my life, as I can barely breathe through the ache in my chest, everything feels lighter. even as my life (and lives) culminate on the path before me, I feel like I can weather a thousand storms, ride a thousand tsunamis, live through a thousand more catastrophes, and none of them would ever compare to the weight of what I felt as I said, "I'm leaving you," and as you whispered, "I know." I must admit, it is a beautiful kind of irony. a beautiful last lesson. a beautiful last inside joke. no, not just beautiful. perfect. I know you hate that word but this is it: this is perfect. perfect irony. perfect pain. the perfect end to us.

thank you, trickster, father, mother, brother, teacher, friend, lover, Lord. though I can never say that I will love you forever, I know I will forever be grateful. for this life with you, for all the lives before this one. thank you for being the cigarette in times of mindless stress. thank you for being the candle in my darkness. thank you for being the wildfire tearing through the remnants of my rotting world. I promise you, I will bloom.

like you said, that night when I asked you what I would do without you. "walk on in the dark. walk on alone. your heart is yours alone."

goodbye, Loki.

(for now)

[mannazandwyrd]

So I took Loki’s Day and a few hours more off from social media and just logged in to notifications I cannot read more than the first few words of because I am now blocked, and a DM that someone is making aggressive comments about me to other users, and I am confused. It seems the point of my last post was misconstrued? So, let me be crystal clear.

I’m a devotee of a shape-shifting god(dess) of fire and chaos and change and complexity. So is my transgender teen. Anyone who talks smack about my teen, other transgender people, anyone in the LGBTQ+ community, or my genderfluid fulltrui and Their interracial colleagues, will be sliced to ribbons where they stand by my razor tongue. Sometimes it’ll be subtle enough that they don’t notice they’ve been eviscerated until hours later.

But because my fulltrui is an ancient agent of change and transformation, and I am an old person who has seen some things, I’m also inclined to think anyone who is new to working with Them (and actually is interacting with Them and not an imposter) miiiiight express some very stupid ideas at first, and the real reason They’re there is because this person’s worldview is about to be turned upside-down by the Worldbreaker. Their stupid ideas are not going to withstand the force of nature that they’re interacting with.

We can hold space for people to learn and do better, and a bit of kindness for stupid youngsters who need to learn how to discern good information from wingnut propoganda, while still mocking TERFs and saying their weird hobby and bizarre obsession with other people’s organs is a fucking waste of their time and ours, and that we will continue to defend our friends and families’ rights against the likes of them.

I’m very sorry to hear that another of Loki’s devotees is upset with me. I hope this clarification helps them understand where I’m coming from.

[gefdreamsofthesea]

How to Vanatru

I’m sick of not being able to give anyone good resources on Vanatru due to prominent Vanatruar being assholes, sources being out of print, or just plain bad information, so here is a concise guide on how to Vanatru:

1) Honor the Vanir in some way, you don’t need to honor them exclusively but you can if you want, most people who ID as Vanatru IME primarily or exclusively honor the Vanir. i used to say “anyone who has one as a fulltrui” but again, IME they tend to ID as Heathen, Norse Pagan, Norse polytheist, etc.

a) Yes you can use other labels

I was going to add more to this list but I started to think about it, and most of what I was going to say falls under the category of “ways your average Vanatru community is different from your average Asatru community” and the main thing that separates Vanatru from other Northern faiths is the focus on the Vanir.

Common things you will see in a community of Vanatruar include:

UPG, and lots of it - Some of us would argue that there’s no such thing as “recon” Vanatru because there’s not that much to reconstruct.

An emphasis on the more magical or mystical aspects of Heathen traditions - I’ve heard from certain Asatruar that magic is like “gravy” and I’ve often found that Heathens (especially outside of tumblr) are allergic to things like magic. I’ve found the exact opposite to be true in Vanatru communities. This doesn’t mean that you have to believe in magic or that every single one of us is chatting up our deities all the time. I don’t and I also lack a godphone. Yes, this includes things like sex magic (but thankfully doesn’t include worshiping horse penis--I think)

Nature-based stuff - Some Heathens would refer to their practice as “gods-based” or “community-based” but I think Vanatruar are more likely to describe their practice as nature-based (although I would also consider my practice to be gods-based) obviously a lot of Heathens are into the homesteading thing, but I feel like if you were to ask, most Heathens would grumble about how being nature-based is a Wiccan thing.

All the deities are queer - all of them, naturally, Vanatru communities tend to be very queer-friendly

Here are some common topics of interest to many Vanatruar (not exhaustive):

Anglo-Saxon Heathenry (particularly the futhorc runes), Celtic traditions and comparisons between, say, Irish and Norse myth (Vanacelt is a label that has been used for some who combine Vanatru with, say, Neo-Druidry), witchcraft, folklore, fairy tales, bioregionalism, weird theories about the origins of the deities, arguing over which deity counts as Vanir

Community issues

Racism, Sexism, Queerphobia, and other oppressive bullshit - IME, most neonazis don’t identify as Vanatru specifically (our communities tend to be full of “degenerates”) but as racism is a huge problem in Heathenry in general and plenty of assholes honor the Vanir. All of us have a responsibility to stand up against oppressive bullshit.

Accusations of “cherry-picking” and the like from other Heathens - We know, Simek said the Vanir are dead, we’re all secretly Wiccan, tru Heathens honor all the deities, we’ve heard it all, you can stop screaming at us

The Aesir are bullies they salted my crops and burned down my house - Some of us have been asked by our deities not to honor the Aesir, some of us have had bad experiences with one or more of the Aesir, but some of us reeeeeeally seem to have a bone to pick with these deities, to the point where some have argued that you can’t be a tru Vanatruar if you poor out one drop of a libation for Thor. 

This is just a small sampling of stuff that goes on in the community. I apologize if any of this came out wrong it is late and I am tired. Sorry this isn’t much of a how-to.

[wrathfulclam]

How did you find hel?

At this point, it’s begun to take on that hazy quality of years and being so used to having Hel around, I hardly know a time without her in my life. I think I found her when it was the right time for me, and I think we’re a solid pair together. It’s hard to believe it’s been almost four years with her as my fulltrui.

[pixie-lated]

Gotta hand it to 'em, Heathen gods do not mess around.

If they’re gonna respond, they tend to be pretty damn definitive about it. One second you’re asking your fulltrui to help you shake the constant weight of negativity you’ve been hauling around for months, the next you’re coughing up some kind of goo into the sink and yet feeling significantly better about life.

Note to self: offering of absinthe and sprinkles was either an awesome idea (feeling better) or a terrible idea (…goo).

[odinnsdottir]

Loving this post about Allfather.

Quoted some of my favorite parts below. I couldn’t agree more with all of it.

... the God of wandering and mystery, of blood and storms, of wise words and great tales... the God of so many names and faces, to whom there is always so much more.... Odin can be scary. All our Gods and Goddesses can be scary, of course. They have sides that are so fierce and so beautiful, so cruel and so comforting... so very much alive in all the senses of that word. Odin takes this sort of presence and power to His own heights. I am hard-pressed to think of a God who more denies and defies analysis and definition--and that is not an observation that comes lightly after one has interacted with Loki. More often than not, I experience Odin as a father or a teacher. At times, His voice can be unmistakable: with one sentence, He can cut through so much floundering and nonsense. He's the God who has sometimes pushed me when I badly needed a push, but who has also inspired me incredibly deeply. The idea I come back to again and again with Him is passion. Passion to the point where it scares. Passion to the point where the soul feels raw and bruised. But in that passion, there is renewal and life. In all honesty, I am very much in the process of learning here. Odin is such a remarkably intellectual and wise God, but He will not let a person hide behind their presumed intellect or wisdom. He is the God of living, of experience... of opening to the terrors and pains, of knowing the truest joys and most beautiful freedoms. He is a God of feeling life and being. Merely getting through is not enough. He reminds us why we should seek more--greater passions, greater knowledge, greater depth. It seems to me that Odin is very much a protector of the Gods and Goddesses, and of all Asgard--as much so as Heimdall, but with the willingness and ability to travel far, work trickery, and play different sides against each other, sometimes for what we might consider obscure ends. I get the sense that He has the good of His pantheon at heart, but that He can be quite ruthless when necessary. Certainly, He seems to have a bit of a reputation as a hard (but infinitely rewarding) God to have as a fulltrui.

[dontopenthewindow]

so today I decided to do some shufflemancy with the discover weekly from Spotify because it resets every Monday and a music was sent with a message that describes all the things that I’m going through as Loki’s fulltrui, check it out

Stuck inside my mind for days Memories haunt me in this endless maze The games we play are deadly, aren't they? Blow this pain to smithereens Help me fight this storm before I wreck myself The games we play are deadly, aren't they?

I'm fading out I'm falling down Under these skies of doubt Help me get back up before I drown

I'm fading out I'm falling down Under these skies of doubt Help me get back up because

In these shadows I know I'll lose myself again When this night falls I know I'll lose myself again

no other music could ever describe my experience better than this one 

[skaldish]

Fun fact about the word fulltrui: It was originally used to describe patronage to Catholic saints.

[gunpowderheathen]

Collection of Resources

Fulltrui/Dedication

Living Liminally: Fulltrui - Dedication to a Deity in Heathenry

The Rational Heathen:  Choosing a God or Goddess from the Northern Pantheons

An Ásatrú Blog:  Dedicating Yourself to a God, or “Slow Down There, Cowboy!”

Solitary Heathenry

The Rational Heathen: Feeling Alone? You're not, even if you are

Michelle-The Heathen Girl: In Defense of Solitary Heathens (video)

Altars/Offerings

An Ásatrú Blog:  The Basics: Setting Up An Altar

Odin Devoted: Offerings

Huginn’s Heathen Hof: How to Make an Offering

Terminology

Real Heathenry: The Matter of UPG

Real Heathenry: Regarding Frith

Advice/Info

An Ásatrú Blog:  Advice for folks new to Ásatrú

Temple of Our Heathen Gods: What is Heathenry

Temple of Our Heathen Gods: FAQ

Odin’s Children Video Channel: Secular vs Spiritual Heathenry (video)

Huginn’s Heathen Hof: Heathenry is a Religion of Questions 

Communicating

Heathen Woman:  Communing with the Gods 

[lokahjarta]

I remember years ago I was at a specifically Heathen store and was browsing when I overheard Loki's name come up in conversation between the cashier and another customer. I'm almost certain she remembered me and I was not secretive about working with Loki at all, so this was definitely a pointed remark.

This other customer said Loki's name in conversation and the cashier replied with, "Oh, I don't even like saying his name. Whenever someone says it I'm always like 'Hail Thor! Hail Thor! Hail Thor!' "

In the same tone as "Praise Christ" or "Hail Mary"

First of all - Thor and Loki are friends you fucking moron. But these people who hate and despise Loki (and are not Folkish Neo Nazis, just misguided - that's another topic) are revealing that they never did the work or research in unlearning Christian and Catholic attitudes and cosmology. They treat Loki like Satan incarnate or a little demon that Hailing Thor will drive away, as though that was somehow the same as crossing oneself to ward off sin.

Get fucked. Put down the Edred Thorsson and work on yourself before trying to dismiss the mention of my fulltrui's name by summoning his nephew.

[mannazandwyrd]

Yule Ritual Candle (2020)

Look what I made! It looks and smells like the holidays, but did I mess up the correspondences for my spell? Given the ongoing pandemic, a winter solstice ritual that focusses on getting through dark times and welcoming the cosiness of winter holidays at home, and the return of the light, feels right. I think I did okay.

In a spice jar, centre 1 beeswax tealight.

Layer in melted beeswax, melted cinnamon-oil candle (previously made by mixing beeswax with a sun-jar extract of post-offering cinnamon sticks, ground cinnamon and ginger, a chai spice mix, and sunflower oil), and the following essential oils: 6 drops spruce resin, 12 drops pine, 12 drops peppermint, 6 drops frankincense. Don’t drown the wick!

Dress with 2 sprigs pine and 3 dried cranberries (holly), cloves, and rainbow moonstone chips.

Spruce & pine: cleansing & Yule decoration

Cinnamon: protection & happiness (& my fulltrui Loki)

Ginger: healing, energy, & Yuletide baking

Peppermint: prosperity & cleansing

Frankincense: purification & antidepressant

Cranberry: gratitude & adundance

Cloves: protection & Yuletide baking

Moonstone: intuition, patience & anxiety relief

[queenofswords]

I love sensory details about gods. I associate ambient background noises and white noise with Hel, as well as plain textured walls, smell of mildew, or the more pleasant smell of light mist, among plenty of other things; Do you have any sights, sounds, textures, or smells that you associate with your deities? I suppose namely Hel, Angrboda, Loki, or Sigyn, but would love to hear about others.

Hel has sounds like smoke curling, like white noise, just on the edge of our senses, but just present enough to sound like a whisper. She feels to me like the texture of the dust on moth wings, but with more gravity. The way you can enter an attic and still breathe but the air is different. The density of a black hole; the coolness of the flat of a blade in winter; the light warmth of a skull near a recently blown-out candle; the softness of a fresh rose petal between fingers. The taste of bitter iron, the smell of sweet-rot roses left out too long. When I think of sounds I think she would like, I think of cellos and violins, I hear fall leaves sliding from the wet and rot of it, I hear buds popping into hushed bloom, I hear cicadas dying down at the edge of summer like an echoing song into silence. I hear the voices of people talking gaily, but at a distance, as if stone walls are in between—muffled. I hear knocking on doors: it’s the sound of bones humming. I hear the signs of legacy and age: creaking floors, cracking wall paint, the slow crumble of stone into dust.

[thorraborinn]

Is it true / accurate that if your fulltrui is a god, it's fulltrui, but if it's a goddess, it's fulltrua?

No, it’s always fulltrúi no matter what the gender of the deity. I can see why someone would make that mistake though.

At some point in the distant past people must have been using an adjective *fulltrúr ‘fully trustworthy’, which did change depending on gender. To refer to someone or something that one can fully place their trust in, this would take the “definite” form, which would have been fulltrúi for grammatically masculine things and fulltrúa for grammatically feminine or neuter things.

However by the time of written Old Norse, the word has stopped being an adjective that can be used like one on the fly, and has developed into a noun. Nouns in Old Norse do not change their endings for gender, even when describes a person with different biological gender. For example hetja ‘hero’ is feminine even when it describes a man.

The word fulltrúi does refer to gods sometimes in Old Norse, but it actually mostly refers to people (especially those sent to represent an important person, like a king’s delegate) and also inanimate objects, like in Víga-Glúms saga where Glúmr says that his three fulltrúar are his wallet, his axe, and his storehouse (compared to Ingólfr’s fulltrúi, a guy named Þorkell). In modern Icelandic it means “representative” or “agent”; for example if you go to the bank and talk to a þjónustufulltrúi ‘service representative’ (who is not necessarily male). In fact in the Icelandic subtitles to the Marvel comics movies, Phil Coulson is actually Thor’s fulltrúi :þ

[skeletalsirens]

things the baron likes, part ii: trolling edition

so the baron likes to do this thing where he appears to you in a shape you find mildly upsetting. this is because he is hella troll. curiously, i’m not the only solitary practitioner who works with the baron who makes note of this--MOST of us seem to mention it at some point. dude is a fun dude. his idea of fun may not always be your idea of fun. tough titties, then.

like, he totally CAN appear as a super handsome totally hot tall black dude in skull paint, but mostly he doesn’t, because whatever, that’s boring to him.

mostly he likes fucking you. just a little. in a friendly way. saturday spoils me outrageously and will never do something just to terrify me, but he doooes like fucking with me a little.

for me, this means that he occasionally shows up in some straight up horror movie guise--dessicated skeleton, flesh rotting off in chunks, exaggerated stumbling zombie walk. but never for more than a moment before he bursts out laughing.

most of the time, however, we hang out while he’s wearing his friendly handsome skeleton face. 

but still, you can’t ever be surprised by horror movie shit.