#fun fact if you see a mountain of tags on my posts like i just wrote here it's because i spent forever obsessing over my wording

[clementine-thedestroyer]

Aroura Borealis - König x reader - Part 1

Series master post- Read on Ao3

This is a multichapter fic so just to clarify, not all of these tags apply to this chapter (in fact, almost none of them do) but I do want to give people a heads up of what they're getting into, especially because this is a lot darker than my usual writing.

Part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

Warnings/Tags: Fem!reader, eldritch!König, kidnapping, manipulation, gaslighting, violence, minor character death, end of the world, apocalypse/post-apocalypse, potential dub/non con. Dead dove, do not eat. It may not seem like it now but you've been warned. Based on/inspired by the Lemon Demon song by the same name. Alt summery: your boyfriend turns out to be an immortal being beyond your possible comprehension, but all he really cares about is making sure you're safe through the end of the world. /j but not really.

“Let’s take a month-long impromptu vacation we can’t afford to the Canadian Northern Territories.” Your boyfriend said.

“It’ll be fun,” He said.

You shouldn’t have agreed to this. You should’ve raised more questions at König’s sudden insistence to take a holiday.

But no, you’d let him bring you out here. You’d let him pack way too much for this trip. You’d let him convince you that he had the money for it. You’d let him take you somewhere so remote that you had to fly in to the closest “town” (town being a strong word for the small collection of buildings he’d shown you on google maps) on a bush plane, just to get some guy König knew from the military who knew the area to drive you up to the place you’d be staying. You let him do all of it. You’d pushed past your unease and just tried to enjoy yourself for once. And for a brief moment, everything had been fine. König had been right, you were just being weird about it.

The area was beautiful. The town was the only civilization for miles, and it was situated on the northern bank of a large, frozen river and surrounded from all other directions by boreal forest and rising mountains. 

The buildings were a charming hodgepodge of styles, sizes, and colors. The rural, unplanned community was so different from the cookie cutter suburbs and high density urban areas you were used to.

The ground was covered in dense layers of snow- packed down into makeshift trails where people would walk from building to building or towards the tree line. The wind whipped across the flat, icy plane of the river, gathering speed and picking up tiny bits of snow and ice so when it hit your skin, it felt like a thousand tiny pinpricks all at once. 

The people you met were lovely too. There was a small general goods type store towards the center of the town that König had directed you to go wait and warm up in while he talked to the guy he’d known from up here, and the elderly couple who ran it were sweet as could be. You’d bought a few basics for dinner and a cheesy little souvenir keychain from them. Not necessarily because you needed it, but because the couple who ran the store were as sweet as could be.

You chatted with the woman as she rang up your items, telling her about how König had decided to bring the two of you up here and listening when she tells you how during the summer, the cabins on the mountain side are rented out regularly for vacations, but that she’d never seen the owner rent one out during the offseason.

“Strange young man, that one.” She mutters, shaking her head and looking out the window at the man talking with König before turning back to the small register and punching in the code for a can of chili. “He’s lived up here for god knows how long and I hardly see him. Never heard him say more than a few words or take off that mask and sunglasses either.”

You frown, watching the König and the man talk outside for a moment. 

It wasn’t snowing at the moment- although the locals had assured you that you’d probably be sick of the snow by the time you left- and König and the other man stood stiffly facing each other. König had his hands stuffed deep in his pockets and wore a tense expression towards the other that didn’t quite fit the narrative of “old military friend” he’d given you. The other guy seemed much less on edge- as he was leaning against the side of the bed of what you assumed to be his truck with his arms crossed loosely over his chest. He was shorter than König and wore a fabric face mask, hat, and reflective sunglasses like the ones you’d see at outdoor stores like REI or Bass Pro Shop.

König was wearing a face covering of sorts too- as was typical for him. You knew that, on the field, he almost always wore a sniper hood (he liked to keep his work separate from you- he tried not to let you see him in full gear or anything of the sort, but as far as you were concerned, the “sniper hood” looked like an old T-shirt with eye holes). But in public, it was usually just a disposable face mask. The cold had given him an excuse to switch it up a bit though, and he’d taken to wearing a hat and scarf- with one of the scarve’s loops done loose enough that it could be lifted up and over his nose and ears to cover the bottom of his face.

The two painted a stark contrast, with König wearing carefully chosen sets of layers under his windbreaker and snow pants and looking like someone properly dressed for the weather, with the other man wearing a dark leather bomber style jacket over what looked like no more than a sweater underneath.

It reminded you a bit of when you’d see how people from warmer places would dress for the cold as opposed to people from those areas- and you’d never admit it to König, but you did find it a bit funny.

König’s friends have always been a bit odd. The face covering isn't the most out of place thing you’ve seen among them. König, himself in fact, could probably be considered a bit odd. You’ve always just chalked it up to his military career.

Once the woman had rang up your things, you bid her farewell with a smile and promised to stop by again before you headed back home.

König had made quite a fuss about your purchases when you came back out, asking why you took so long and insisting that the cabin would already have everything you needed in it, and that there was no need for “backup canned chili”, as he called it.

He had seemed nearly glued to your side that day, always keeping you close by with a protective hand somewhere on you or directing you exactly where to wait for him as he sorted out issues. Hence, you being told to wait inside the store.

After finishing with his lecture on the backup chili, König sighed and took your hand, telling you to come meet the friend he’d told you about.

He starts to lead you toward the man and his truck, and as you get closer, you can see a heavy duty set of snow chains in the vehicle’s tires. When you get close to the man, König stops, pulling you tight against his side by your waist, introducing the man to you as Horangi.

For a moment, the man was silent. Simply looking you up and down before turning his head back to König.

“This is her?” He asked, not giving you so much as a second look.

You can’t see it, but you hear the rustling of his clothes as König nods his head in response. The exchange filled you with a mix of embarrassment at being spoken about like you weren’t present and awkwardness at the palpable tension between König and Horiangi.

Another second of silence passes and Horiangi gives you another look before stuffing his hand in his pocket and pulling out his keys.

“Alright. Get in.” He says, apathy audible in his tone. He pushes himself upright from where he’d been leaning against the side of his truck and turns around, walking around toward the driver's side without another word or glance.

The whole exchange had struck you as odd, but König simply patted your back, directing you towards the passenger door.

“Sorry, Schatz. He doesn’t get out much.” He says, giving you an apologetic smile before opening the passenger door of the truck and folding down the passenger seat.

You hold back a groan at the sight of a jump seat, knowing that you’ll be stuck in the undoubtedly cramped back seat for however long the drive is. You weren’t quite sure where you were expecting to sit, as the truck only even had two doors- and König certainly wouldn’t be the one climbing into the back, but the sight of the tiny, low to the ground bench seat was enough to make your legs ache just thinking about it.

You step one foot up onto the floor of the truck, using it as a step so you can squeeze through the small space left by the folded down front seat to get into the back.

You try your best to do so gracefully and not fall face first into the back, but König resting his hand on your lower back to steady you (and not at all just so he could slide his hand down towards your ass) startles you and makes you lose your footing, leaving you to slide into the back and land on your knees with a soft “oof” sound.

You shot König a small glare, not missing the smirk he fails to keep hidden- even with the scarf covering half his face.

Once you’re situated in the backseat with your seat belt buckled and your backpack handed to you, König sits the front seat back up, and you find yourself crammed into a space that’s really only meant to hold children. Leg room as a concept is nonexistent. The seat is only half a foot or so off the truck floor and there’s barely enough room for you to sit with your feet flat.

The drive had been long and quiet, but not uncomfortably so. Horangi seemed comfortable to focus on driving, navigating the snow covered roads expertly even as they wound and doubled back on themselves, and you were happy to just enjoy the scenery, watching through the window as spruce, firs, and pine trees- all with their beaches sitting heavy from the weight of snow- pass by.

Your legs ached to be stretched after sitting in such an uncomfortable position and you’d found yourself beginning to doze off during the drive. Not quite falling asleep, but leaning your head against the window frame and letting your eyes glaze over. The flight had taken a toll on you - flights, actually. Plural. Because first there was one just to get to Yellowknife, then there was another on a bush plane to actually get to the area. And the jet lag was, frankly, a bitch. 

You were jerked out of your daze when the truck stopped and König reached back, using the shoulder of the driver's seat to brace himself, and you felt his hand envelop your shoulder as he gently shook you awake.

“Schatz, we’re here.” 

You let out a groan, sitting up and waiting for König to fold forward his seat so you could get out. 

Horangi had opened his door and gotten out the moment the car stopped, jerking the parking brake up and putting the car in park before yanking out his keys and tossing them in the cup holder, not bothering to take them with him. You stared at the keys for a moment, brow furrowing.

It was easily explainable enough. You were in the middle of nowhere, there was likely no one but you three for miles. But even then, Horangi leaving his keys in his truck made you do a double take. 

Most people would’ve slipped them in their pocket out of habit at least- but maybe your and König’s presence was simply disruptive. It was clear that Horangi either wasn’t in the mood for other people, or König calling them two “friends” had been a stretch… or maybe it was you. You wouldn’t blame him for not wanting to be a third wheel.

Regardless, you got the sense that Horangi wanted to get the two of you settled as fast as possible, even if for no reason other than to get you out of his hair.

When König folded the front passenger seat down, you first helped to hand forward the stuff that’d been put in the backseat with you for the drive before climbing out- nearly falling on your face in the process, courtesy the burning in your legs from the cramped space.

Outside of the truck, you caught your balance and looked around. Horangi was nowhere in sight and König was already moving away from the car, walking towards a narrow path that cut through the conifers. You took it as a sign to follow, reaching down to pick up two bags from where they sat in the snow.

The area where the road ended was densely wooded with spruces and firs, and the fluffy snow that blanketed the ground was undisturbed aside from your little trios’ footprints and the truck’s tire tracks.

It was cold, but König had apparently known what he was doing as far as getting winter gear for you, because the temperature was manageable, despite the wind burning your face whenever you made the mistake of looking into it.

You’d hardly had the chance to take two steps before the bags you were carrying were plucked out of your hands, making you jump and yelp as you turn to see Horangi beside you.

You hadn’t heard him approaching- a feat considering how loudly the snow would crunch as anyone walked across it. You stood frozen for a moment, watching as he took the bags from you with no more than a grunt. 

“You startled me-“ you said, trying to keep a stutter from your voice. “I didn’t hear you coming.”

“People usually don’t.” Horangi says, not giving you another look or a chance to respond before he starts down the trail.

You’re left standing there, staring at the space Horangi had disappeared to. The odd response left you drawing a blank.

You were really starting to think he didn’t like you… either that, or maybe you still weren’t used to the weirdness that came with König’s friends.

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

Free Rhys Darby ASMR Sources

So @hang-on-lil-tomato got me thinking with their post about Stede Story Time, I did all this research into all the Rhys Darby works and I realised I should probably compile it in case other folks are looking for the same things.

So yeah, I mean, Rhys doesn't do audio books as of yet, but man would that be amazing if he did. So for those of you who want to hear some good 'ol Rhys Darby voice, here's some sources. Please feel free to message me if you have more. ! I'd love to add them, and I'll tag ya :D

---

Rhys Darby as Stede Bonnet Youtube Compilations

Stede say'd Ed for a full Minute by justagaycatboy

Stede Bonnet being a bitch for 4 + mins by Rae Hamilton-Vargo

Stede Bonnet being the crew's dad for almost 4 minutes by grim weaper

Stede Bonnet screaming for 2 minutes 15 seconds by "Our Flag Means Death"

Stede Bonnet cursing for almost a whole minute by Murder Turtle

----

TV or Mini Series

Rhys Darby in Japan (Freevee on Amazon)

So as someone who lived in Japan for a bit, this series is really really fun. It's awkward, and funny and it's almost all Rhys Darby as he's narrating and living the whole damn thing. There are quotes from this show that I use in my every day life, I love it so much.

Short Poppies (Freevee on Amazon)

Considering most of the characters in this show are in fact Rhys Darby, it's a great way to hear his very colourful range. I haven't seen all the episodes, but I find it quite endearing.

Intrepid Journeys (Rwanda) (Youtube/nzonscreen.com)

Ty @hang-on-lil-tomato and @meanmisscharles for this recommendation! I haven't watched it yet but here's the description:

"This Intrepid Journey sees comedian Rhys Darby taking an OE to the landlocked African country of Rwanda. Darby makes a bunch of friends in the markets of capital city Kigali, then heads on a jungle adventure. Far from the New York office of his Flight of the Conchords character Murray, he searches for critically endangered mountain gorillas. Darby is guided by François — a personable and entertaining park ranger, fluent in primate dialect — whose aping gives Darby a run for his money in gorilla impersonation. Darby is quietened by a sombre genocide memorial, and a 200 kilogram silverback."

Stand up

These are pretty self explanatory, wanna hear Rhys Darby talk for an hour or so? Stand ups the way to do it, all the voices you could want and no one interrupting him.

Rhys Darby I'm A Fighter Jet Rhys Darby: This Way Spaceship It's Rhys Darby Night Mystic Timebird

Youtube Shorts/Channels

Rhys' Youtube Channel featuring stand up shorts, sketches, Rhys' playing games and other fun stuff like "The Alone Rangers". All stuff I have to dive into, thanks again @hang-on-lil-tomato!

Movies

Love Birds (Included with Prime Video)

So if you follow @celluloidbroomcloset you have probably heard of Love Birds, and as someone who is totally normal for Rhys Darby, and loves birds and used to do rescue work, I have to day this movie is adorable. It's a really cute love story, and good god Rhys is hot AF. He and Sally Hawkins have amazing chemistry, and you get lots of good Rhys voice...in a romantic setting. I apologize ahead of time to any of you who lose your soul to this movie.

Coming & Going(Freevee)

So I haven't seen this one personally, so I can't speak to it (it's on my list for this week actually!) so I'll update this once I do.. but in the mean time, here's the description:

"When Lee (Rhys Darby), a young, skilled OBGYN who lacks confidence with women, suffers a minor injury that temporarily lands him in a wheelchair, he meets Alex (Sasha Alexander), the girl of his dreams. Convinced she has only paid attention to him because he's in that chair, he stays in it to win her affections well after his injury has healed."

Podcasts

The Cryptid Factor

You're gonna hear more than just Rhys, you'll hear from Dan Schreiber and Buttons (not ofmd buttons) and some other folks occasionally but you get to hear Rhys in his element, which is awesome because he is the goofy nerdy man we all know and love. The Cryptid Factor on Apple Podcasts

You can also go to their patreon and subscribe for free there-- the paid versions have video footage from a lot of shows and some other cool perks including stickers and book clubs and such.

Aliens Like Us

Thank you @hang-on-lil-tomato for this one! I hadn't found it before

General Reference to Works

Here's some overall guides to his various voice works (thank you again to @hang-on-lil-tomato )

--- Anyway -- hope that helps with your Rhys Darby very normalness :D

[ganondoodle]

Oh man I saw your totk issues post and I agree 100%!! Those are all things that have really bothered me about playing totk, and things that made playing it not nearly as fun (the dungeons, the shrines, the building, etc).

Especially the map!! When I tell you I was so disappointed by the maps on totk, I was hoping for something new! It really just feels like a modded botw, not an official sequel.

I was wondering what your thoughts are on the concept of “what if they had sent link to the past instead”? So the surface map would feature huge differences in the land forms and buildings that exist, and we’d get to see more ganon whenever he visits Hyrule, or go out to the desert to see Gerudo town, etc.

If they really wanted no sheika tech, they could also just have it being newly built? And you could introduce the new characters and such, etc etc.

(I also think the past champions are such a missed opportunity? If botw is about grief and loneliness, and finding hope in the hopeless, and Totk is about coming together despite that, it could have been really interesting if Link had gone to the past! They could have used the past setting as an eerie reminder to what Link and Zelda had lost when the Calamity struck!)

THAT BEING SAID: I’m not as familiar with the legend of Zelda lore, and haven’t played totk very much! I wanted to know your thoughts on this because you seem to have a lot of story and game mechanic knowledge that could explain why this could be a bad/good idea!

(Plus, your discussions are always super interesting to read, as is your custom totk lore, so I’d love to know what you think🩷)

I’m sorry if you’ve already answered an ask like this! If that’s the case, feel free to point that out and I’ll go through your ask tag if you have one:) I hope you have a great day!⭐️

Hi!

im glad you enjoy my rants, i often feel like im being overly mean but tbh were else could i just rant as much as my heart desires without getting spammed by annoying people (certainly not on twitter lol)

i have talked alot, and i mean ALOT, about totk and my issues with it, both lore and gameplay wise, i dont claim to be an expert on any, though i am an old zelda fan and aspiring gamedev, i really only talk about what i feel about it, what i think about it, and by all means im biased as hell xD

if you dont know yet, the "ganondoodles rants" tag is where all my rants go, so if you are interested in reading more on my totk thoughts thats the way to search (given tumblrs search in blog works ..)

and to answers your question, i have touched on it briefly, sending link back in time before the shiekah tech existed would have been an easy way to excuse how they jsut got .. rid of it, bc they didnt, it literally didnt exist yet- and for reusing the map- though that argument falls a little flat bc ... they coud have already done that in present totk, like i brought up in one of said rants, things like flooding gerudo desert, collapsing death mountain, drying out zoras domain etc, and changing the location of the main populations would have already done alot without having to redo the map in its entirety;

the little changes to map itself really wouldnt that big of a deal if they didnt also send you to the EXACT same locations AND repeat the SAME LOCATIONS AGAIN but in the underground, like thats a fact i have talked about multiple times bc its so illogical in every way, anywhere theres a settlement on the surface theres a bigger mine below, its so stupid, the shrines conenct to a lightroot, the same, again, you dont need to explore bc theres nothing TO explore (its also extra weird bc theres one below taburasa (tarrey town) which .... link literally build with dumsda (hudson) a few years ago .. unless that got retconned too idk wth do i know anymore honestly- AND it makes the sonau extra weird bc why the hell do they have a bigass mine under every settlement ESPECIALLY UNDER GERUDO TOWN like, that just adds to my suspicions towards them)

anyway, link to the past was the point and yes, it could have solved a few issues (mainly shiekah tech and the whole "story" taking place AGAIN in the past completely disconnected from you the player) i personally am not so much a fan of it, but that mostly comes down to me just not liking time travel, i dont like going back in time, i want to play and do things in the here and now, i want to repair the damages of the calamity, find out its origins, maybe fix that too, i love to learn about past stuff too, but that more in text, no literal flashback (unless done well), i want to connect to the past but it also holds alot of mystery that maybe shouldnt be touched upon, some mysteries and unkowns are much more interesting when left as such, i want to THINK about things and come to conclusions that are logical and makes sense in hindsight even if it wasnt clear at the start, i dont want information and what to think about it told to my face over and over like im stupid

after botw i really didnt care much about the past, maybe about the acient hero who alot of people specualted to be of gerudo origin due to its red hair- which also got a monkeys paw curled bc in totk they do sth with but its so stupid and insulting that i do not accept it as canon, say what they want, there are no dog people anywhere in the past nor present botw/totk wtf is that i hate it- and its not even .. why is that the reward for that, it has literally NOTHING TO DO WITH TOTK ITSELF I COULD YELLLL AAAARGH

main point is that really, i wanted to explore the past .. in the present, i hoped to find broken old shiekah structures, old labs and maybe some left over damage and records from when the old king persecuted the shiekah for their tech, i wanted to know where the ancient energy the shiekah used was coming from, what the boss arena in the middle of hyrule castle really was- so many things just discarded and acted like they never happened or mattered; i dont want to travel into the past, i want to discover whats left of it, piece it together, discover dark secrets you can ask no one about bc all that knew about it are long gone- thats what intrigued me about botw, it felt like there was so much left to discover only for totk to throw it all away and just do its own thing .. but not commit to that hard enough either so its neither its own thing nor a sequel-

.. that wasnt really what you wanted to know was it? xD sorry i tend to ramble on if someone seems to give me permission to

to sum it up, i think it COULD work, sending link to the past instead, if done well, but so could canon totk have been, it could have been done well but wasnt for reasons i dont know and tbh even fear bc i worry its sets a dark future ahead of zelda; i personalyl am just not a fan of time travel so i dont have that much to say to it :O

[maniculum]

Bestiaryposting Results: Mlekragg

Unsurprisingly, multiple people read the entry and immediately clocked what this was. (Thank you for not actually making a guess in text, so that people who don't recognize it are able to work without that preconception.) I didn't want to leave it out, because the mythological ones are fun, but unlike some of the others, the modern conception of this beast is pretty much exactly what the bestiary says.

Anyway, as always, if you don't know what I'm talking about, you can find an explanation for this whole thing at https://maniculum.tumblr.com/bestiaryposting. If you want to join in, the new entry for each week is tagged with "maniculum bestiaryposting" so it should be findable. This week's entry can be reviewed here:

Below the cut you will find the drawings responding to it, in roughly chronological order:

@silverhart-makes-art (link to post here) decided to branch out in an unusual direction with this one, in order to avoid drawing the creature they'd identified from the entry and also have some fun with it. I just think this is some quality creature design. Love the mask-thing, love the springy tail, and that's a really good rendering of a cuttlefish face IMHO. There's a really interesting explanation for all of these features, what inspired them and how it all works together, in the linked post, which you should go read.

@moonygryffin (link to post here) took a more direct approach, with the twist that the creature here is modeled on American fauna rather than ones the medieval Europeans would have been aware of. The body is a mountain lion, and the man-like head is a golden-headed lion tamarin, which of course comes with its own mane. I enjoy the choice to not use a lion lion, but rather two animals with "lion" in their name; also I've always thought lion tamarins were very cool-looking. For more details -- and an example of an attempt by MoonyGryffin to draw the same creature several years ago -- see the linked post. (Also thank you for providing alt text.)

@sweetlyfez (link to post here) has made an attempt to take the entry literally without drawing the creature she has recognized, which is a challenge considering how specific the description is. I think the decision to give it flea legs to help with that exceptional jumping is clever. SweetlyFez describes the result as an "awful creature" and... honestly I can't argue, I wouldn't want to be anywhere near one of these. In fact I think I'm going to wrap up this commentary and scroll down so I don't keep making eye contact with it.

@pomrania has also decided to go the route of "let's get weird with it", and avoided the literal interpretation by re-analyzing the word "has". This is similar to that style of joke one hears now and then -- you know, "he has the heart of a poet... he keeps it in a jar at home." (Incidentally, props to Mary Shelley for being perhaps the only person who could make that claim and not be kidding.) So this creature has the face of a man and the body of a lion, not in the sense that it was born with them, but in the sense that it keeps them as possessions. Very clever, and the underlying creature design is also fantastically creepy in my opinion.

@coolest-capybara (link to post here) mentions that she didn't recognize the description, and has given us this really cool-looking, rather menacing creature in their excellent medieval style. (This is why I insist on not naming the beasts even when it seems clear what it is -- this amazing piece of art might have looked entirely different if someone posted a spoiler.) I'm really struck by how it simultaneously looks like a patchwork sort of creature (different front & back legs, etc.) but all flows together into a cohesive whole. Just really well done, I think. (Also, thank you for including alt text.)

@cheapsweets (link to post here) has drawn the creature mid-leap, showing off its jumping prowess by shooting straight up into the air. I think this drawing does a very good job at combining human and lion anatomy to make something unsettling -- and the inclusion of the skull diagram up in the top left points to the amount of thought that went into this. As always, please check out the linked post for a detailed discussion of the design. (Also, thank you for including alt text.)

@strixcattus (link to post here) has drawn one that's oddly cute, and looks a bit worried. However, according to the description they've written in the linked post, this reaction on my part is probably going to get me killed, because apparently they're still quite vicious. I like it, though -- and, as always, I urge you to go read the linked post for this one.

On to the Aberdeen Bestiary... oh, we can't, actually. This is another missing page. So here's the illustration from the Ashmole Bestiary instead:

So, first of all, this is indeed the manticore, and I'm sure most if not all of the people who said they had guessed it got that correct.

Second, we can also note that all the artists who said something along the lines of "well we know about the issues of drawing medieval scorpions, so the scorpion-tail description doesn't need to be literal" were also correct there. Apparently this time a scorpion tail is just spiky all over, which I have to admit does look kinda cool.

Now let's address the elephant in the room. WHAT is that thing on its HEAD? My best guess is that it's meant to be a crown -- medieval art often sticks hats on nonhuman creatures with human faces, almost as if the artist wants to make sure you know it looks like a human head on purpose. I don't see crowns that often, though; usually it's just a cloth hat. (The one in Bodley MS 764, where I got the text for this entry, is clearly wearing a Phrygian cap.) I find myself unable to see it as anything but a daring hairstyle that is absolutely not working for it, though.

Anyway. The manticore is an odd one in its continuity here -- a lot of the mythical creatures in the bestiary have been changed, reinterpreted, or forgotten in the intervening centuries. I think maybe the manticore happens to have hit that sweet spot where it's popular enough that people remember it, but not so popular that it gets excessively telephoned through widespread transmission. I think a couple people noted that the Standard Fantasy manticore is more or less spot on to this description, and indeed, I can only think of one change:

(Art from the Magic: the Gathering card "Crimson Manticore", artist Daniel Gelon)

At some point, those bastards got wings. It's not universal at this time, but if you do an image search for "manticore", the majority of the modern ones are winged. I'm not really sure where that came from.

(Side note: I tested this by doing a Google image search, and one of the top results was a particularly odd-looking image, so I clicked on it out of curiosity. It was at the top of an... article? on a webpage I'd never heard of, and the opening of said article included the sentence, "In medieval bestiaries and art, the manticore was depicted with unique features such as paws, teeth, and fur." You don't say there, bud.)

Interestingly, the D&D manticore is slightly different from the description in an additional way.

Instead of a scorpion tail, it has a tail covered in spines. This has apparently been part of the D&D manticore since the beginning -- the above image is from 2e, but the 1e version had the same tail. (I just didn't use it because it's not as clear in the picture.)

Now, scroll back up to that Ashmole Bestiary image. The one where the tail doesn't really look anything like a scorpion's. Looks... similar to this in broad concept.

I doubt that Gygax or Arneson or whoever designed that aspect of their manticore after one bestiary image, so I popped over to bestiary.ca to see what else was out there. Out of the 38 medieval manticore images collected on that website, there are only two with a tail covered in spikes: the Ashmole manticore and one other that's clearly just a less-skilled artist working from the same image (it also has the same hat). Looking at the text sources, though:

"...it has a tail like a land scorpion, in which there is a sting; it darts forth the spines with which it is covered instead of hair..." -- Aristotle, De animalibus

"To the end of its tail is attached the sting of a scorpion, and this might be over a cubit in length; and the tail has stings at intervals on either side." -- Aelianus, On the Characteristics of Animals

Okay, that's the D&D version, mystery solved. New question: is it a coincidence that the Ashmole illustration fits Aelianus's description? Remember, the page is missing from the Aberdeen bestiary and the Ashmole bestiary isn't translated. The text comes from Bodley MS 764, which does not have a spiky-tailed manticore. My Latin is terrible and I'm untrained in palaeography, so I can't tell whether the entry there preserves the spiky description.

If any palaeographers out there want to solve this one for me, it's Bodleian MS Ashmole 1511, f.22v-23r, available digitally here. (I'll put some screenshots below, but I expect it's easier to zoom properly on the library's digitized manuscript.)

Okay, that's all I've got. Enjoy your week everyone.

[gothcsz]

𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒇𝒂𝒓𝒆 / Chapter I.

PAIRING: Javier Peña x Original Female Character

SUMMARY: Javier gets acquainted with his new job and new life in small town, Texas.

WORD COUNT: 6.7k

RATING:   18+ Mature topics such as sex, drugs, murder, the occult, religion, cannibalism and other triggering matters will be explored in this body of work. Minors DNI.

CHAPTER SPECIFIC TAGS: Mutual pining, talks of homicide, they really wanna fuck each other, beginning of a beautiful slow burn, lots of smoking, southern gothic vibes are strong with this one, if you love worldbuilding then this is the fic for you, mentions of a religious cult, subtle slutshaming.

DISCLAIMER/WARNINGS:   The Javier Peña referenced in this body of work is solely based off of the character that appears in Netflix’s Narcos and not the actual person. Very canon divergent and I will tweak things as I see fit to compliment the narrative of this story. While efforts have been made to be accurate in terms of canon timeline, a lot of details will be fictionalized.

A/N: it’s official, i am now licensed! lol jk jk but hooray to a first chapter! i’ve been working on this thing non stop trying to get the characterization and dynamic and overall voice of the story down pat. i had so much fun writing this tbh and i hope the person reading this enjoyed… well… reading it! i’m still trying to get the hang of writing/posting a whole ass fic while also learning how AO3/Tumblr works so pls be GENTLE with me *cries* i'm not sure what the upload schedule will be yet but just know ya girl is devoting all her free time to this currently.... anyways feel free to drop any type of feedback in my ask. < 3

♰  read on ao3. ♰

♰  playlist | pinterest | series masterlist ♰

Javier Peña doesn’t know if he should see this reassignment as a good thing. He had gotten himself in a pretty hairy situation down in Colombia. His involvement with a death squad and the cartel had him pulled from the biggest case of his career right as they were on the verge of catching Escobar… and only he is to blame for that. He crossed a boundary with himself, gotten innocent people killed and what exactly does he have to show for it?

A reassignment to a small, shitty town in the middle of Texas. 

At least in South America he had a great view to cope with the shitty happenings. The lush mountains of Medellín that stretched for miles and miles, the bustling of the the country’s capitol, Bogotá, or the portrait perfect skyline of Cali. 

Here, it’s just dirt roads with barbed wired fences lining the vast amounts of grassy lands. Occasional livestock litter the area; Seminary’s only lifeline is farming since most of the families that reside here own ranches or crop fields. The town is able to sustain itself with what it produces, therefore not needing many additional businesses. Just a few blocks of shops and civil buildings. No hospital but a doctor’s office with one singular clinician, a grindhouse, some boutiques, a bakery, a very small post office that shares its space with the local newspaper.

Typical spaces you’d find in a settlement like this.

He can’t change his past and all his wrongdoings. Instead, Javier can try and see the fucking silver lining of the situation; that he finally has time to catch his breath… to slow down, for once. The concept is foreign to him. He’s been fleeing from it since he was an adolescent.

A fact that his father, Chucho, had brought up when Javier told the older man of his new job.

“Seminary? ¿Donde putas es eso? (Where the fuck is that?)”

“Couple hours southwest of El Paso. A smidge on the map.”

“A smidge on the map sounds like exactly what you need, hombre (man).” His pops tells him, taking a swig from his beer as the two lean against the wooden fence that keeps the herd of horses from running amuck.

Javi doesn’t say anything, instead gazing out into the vastness of the family ranch.

“All that craziness down there in Colombia te pudre le mente. El cuerpo. (It rots your mind. Your body.) And I’ll be damned if a heart attack takes you out before me.” The men chuckle briefly, sounding just alike.

“Comes with its own shit. A damn ‘cult’.” Javi scoffs, taking a smooth drag from the cigarette between his lips. “Least that’s what the locals think. Could just be a damn serial killer.” No different from what he’s experienced with the cartel.

“Shit is goin’ to be anywhere you go, hijo (son), pero se me hace a mi (it seems to me) that the shit they got goin’ on in Seminary is much more manageable than la mierda con Escobar (the shit with Escobar).” Just hearing his name has Javier clenching his jaw subconsciously and Chucho takes notice.

“Just an old man’s opinion. Take this time to look within. Figure out the type of man you want to be after being chewed up and spat out of Colombia.” Another swig of beer, “Pero eres tan bruto, nunca me haces caso (but you’re so stubborn, you never listen to me). ”

“In a shocking turn of events, this might be the one time I do.” Javier snuffs out the finished cigarette against the wooden pole, tossing it aside carelessly and crossing his arms against his chest. “But don’t get your hopes up. ”

“As long as you don’t drink the damn kool aid, vaz a estar bien (you’re going to be fine).” The father and son share another laugh, this time much more lighthearted.

Javi blinks slowly behind the aviators that sit on the bridge of his nose, the bright and grueling Texas sun beaming down on him harshly. Finishing his cigarette, he pushes himself off the hood of his restored Ford pickup truck. He’s been sitting outside of Seminary’s Sheriff’s Department for about ten minutes now, the small building located right in the middle of town very easy to find.

Then again, it wasn’t hard to get lost in a place this small.

It is unimpressive and has the makings of any other small town government building. An American flag flown proudly above Texas’s, the lettering that labeled the building faded due to being unkept and time. 

Javier knows that the dread he feels comes from not being able to sit still. It’s why he found some kind of pleasure working down in Colombia. Things were always moving at a fast pace, albeit he had done a lot of pencil pushing and running down the clock, but the city itself was bustling with life and culture that kept him on go even when he was idle. 

Here, however, the stillness is suffocating and he wonders how the people of Seminary can breathe. 

Is this sentiment what sparked the murders? Had someone finally had enough of the mundane and decided to spruce things up?

His eyes narrow, if he continues to stand out here any longer, the sheriff will begin to wonder if the new guy had bailed before even coming in.

He jogs up the steps that lead up to the main building, taking them two at a time then pushing open the worn, glass door of the entrance; removing his sunglasses and letting them hang from the collar of the cream colored button up shirt he’s wearing. 

He takes in his surroundings and somehow he feels like he and Murphy had more space back at the embassy than what they have here. 

There’s a front desk to the immediate right being tended to by an older woman with fiery red hair that’s got reading glasses on, too engrossed in her novel to notice that he’s stepped in.

Other than that, it's everything one would expect a sheriff’s department to look like. Desks pushed together here and there, singular ceiling fan lazily spinning in the center of the room, a break room tucked to the back, the hallway that led to detaining rooms and other necessary spaces, variety of office supplies and filing cabinets.

It almost looks too normal.

“Need somethin’, dear?” He is returned to himself as the older woman finally takes notice of him with a friendly smile, her eyes not so subtly giving him a once over. “We don’t usually get hunks ‘round here. You must be lost, sugar.”

Javier smirks, even without trying he’s got women smitten.

“Fortunately for you, ma’am, seems like I’m in the right place. Javier Peña, new Deputy Sheriff.” He strolls over to her desk, leaning against it as he reaches his hand out for her to shake. 

She lets out a warm laugh and they shake hands in which Javi notices a soft pink tint of blush on the apples of her cheeks. “Fortunately for me indeed. I’m Lorraine, darlin’, I pretty much run everythin’ ‘round here but don’t you go tellin’ Romeo that.” She winks at him.

“Don’t go tellin’ Romeo what now, Lorraine? That you’re gunnin’ for my job?” A boisterous voice interrupts them and Javier immediately recognizes it to be the sheriff. 

“Oh, I thought that was somethin’ we all already knew?”

“Hate to say it but she’s right. Works circles around me that one. Romeo Leighton. Great to have you here, Javier.” The sheriff now speaks to Javier directly, and he takes this as a sign to straighten his posture and formally introduce himself as well.

The man has a good fifteen years on Javi, standing a few inches taller with a much more worn look to him. He’s a bit skinny yet built, except for the typical beer belly most southern men tend to have. A scruffy and short beard with unruly hair that’s a mix of grays and dark browns.

“Thanks for having me.” The two share a brief handshake, “M’sure you two could handle the town all on your own, so I appreciate you making room for a plus one.” Javier decides to turn on the good ‘ol southern charm and it seems to land as intended as the atmosphere in the room remains friendly and the sheriff chuckles.

“Look at him catchin’ on so quick. We just might not let you go, amigo.” Lorraine playfully rolls her eyes and reaches over to pass the older man a stack of files. “These just came in from Rankin County.”

“You got here just in time. We got some new developments on the murders.” And just like that, the lively talk is over and they get right into the job. 

“Heard there were mentions of a group of some sorts?” Javier brings it up, wanting to get a gauge on the sheriff’s reaction instead of just reading about it through reports.

“Just rumors. Nothing concrete to back it up.”

The two men now find themselves in Romeo’s office, each smoking a cigarette with multiple files sprawled across the wooden desk.

Here’s what they know: three woman murdered along the highway that these towns share all within a year. They sustained multiple stab wounds, yet the fatal insertion was that of a sharp blade going straight through the heart. The men don’t know if that was intentional or accidental due to the amount of times their chests had been punctured.

It is gruesome, to say the least, but nothing that Javier hasn’t seen before, unfortunately. The way the cartel got creative with their murders just to send a message to their rivals had him exposed to many atrocities; he was desensitized to most forms of violence. Yet, the passion behind these crimes and unclear motive has piqued Javi’s interest the more they discussed it. 

“Then again… it could be nothin’. Just a giant, fucked up coincidence.” The sheriff grumbles, clearly frustrated by the lack of information.

“No, I don’t think so. Too similar of a killing method. Any clue what weapon was used?” Javier leans forward in the uncomfortable, leather chair to ash his cigarette and sifting through the papers, trying to find the coroner’s reports for all three victims.

“Some kind of dagger or knife. Thought it might have been a huntin’ knife but all the wounds were clean cut. No serrated edges on the weapon.”

Javi hums, going over the details in his head for the millionth time trying to see the picture that was so clearly painted in front of him.

There was just simply not enough evidence to make anything out of it. On top of that, the assailant hasn’t struck again in months. A good thing for the general public but not for them if they have any intention of bringing justice to the families of the victims and catching whoever was behind these heinous crimes.

Javier also realizes that while these murders were tame to him, they were most certainly not tame to the people around here. Atrocities as these simply didn’t happen in places like Seminary and surrounding areas. Now that they were dealing with the aggressive reality of humanity, it was shaking them to their core.

So much so that the God fearing townsfolk began spreading rumors that the devil had its eye on the town and already infiltrated the progressive minds of the local youth.

“There’s always some truth to rumors, you know.” Javi begins, gray smoke flooding out from his mouth and nostrils as he puffs out from the nicotine stick, “Someone must’ve seen or heard somethin’ to implicate the younger crowd. ”

The sheriff leans back in his chair, using his thumb to rub out the concentrated frown that had etched itself between his brows, “People ‘round here are pretty stuck in their ways, myself included at times, they don’t like the way this new generation is comin’ up. Barely goin’ to church, spendin’ more time at the bar than at work. How sexual music’s gotten. Small shit like that gets people talkin’. It’s annoyin’ but it’s just talk.”

Javier is going to have to polish his interpersonal skills. Something larger could be at play here so he makes a mental note to go out and talk to these people himself to get a better feeling for what the general sentiment is.

Hell, he might even start going back to church. He can’t remember the last time he step foot in one. With what all had transpired further south; he’d lost his faith entirely. There was so much evil and greed in the world, he felt helpless at the realization that even religion became aversive to him. 

“M’sure somethin’ll come up eventually.” Javier decides to be optimistic, struggling to do so but also wanting to turn over a new leaf, “In the meantime we’ll just have to make do with what we got. It’s been a while since the fucker struck so maybe they're done. Got a taste for it and decided they didn’t like it.” He finishes off his cigarette, stubbing it out and leaning back against the chair.

“A fresh set of eyes will really help with that. Appreciate you comin’ here, Peña. Don’t know much about your time down in Colombia but I can imagine it was rough. This is a massive change for you. Goin’ from damn drug traffickers to a coupla girls gettin’ stabbed on the side of a highway.” The older man continues to puff on his cigarette, his statement falling flat and almost in bad taste but Javier doesn’t say anything, instead shrugging. 

“I got a job— M’not complaining’.” That was almost not the case, and a nasty feeling at the pit of his gut stirs at the remembrance of his meeting with the board in D.C. in a few weeks to get his official reprimanding for his ties with Los Pepes. 

Javi is surprised that the Sheriff doesn’t bring up Judy Moncada’s quotes from the Miami Herald. Either he wasn’t informed or he simply did not care.

“That’s the spirit. What do you have goin’ on tonight?” Romeo begins, changing the subject entirely, and Javier can sense an invitation incoming. “‘Cause I’d love to have ya over for dinner. Give you a proper introduction to Seminary. You can meet my daughter, Paloma, too.” The sheriff then picks up one of the framed photos on his desk, turning it over for Javier to see.

A portrait of a stunning young woman sporting a cowboy hat, smiling brightly at the camera.

“Ain’t she a beaut?” He pulls the picture back, asking rhetorically and Javier clears his throat. 

For a moment he contemplates the dinner invitation, part of him wanting to be alone in the comfort of his new space but the other part wanting to just throw himself into this to keep his mind occupied and away from the grueling memories of the lengthy time he’d spent in Colombia.

“Sure, I’ll come by.” He decides. If he thought about it for a second longer, he’d talk himself out of going.

A large, friendly grin spreads on Romeo’s face and he nods, finally finishing off his cigarette. “Alright now, you can stop by ‘round 7.” He moves some of the files aside revealing a notepad and he digs in his shirt pocket to pull out a pen. Scribbling down his address messily onto the blank piece of paper, he tears it off and leans over to hand it to Javier.

“Not that hard to get to.” Javier nods curtly and takes the paper, folding it and stuffing it into his back pocket.

It’s later in the day, the sun cascading into the distance; its hues of deep oranges and reds softening as the night sky begins to take over.

Paloma sits on the rocking chair that matches her father’s out on the porch. A guitar nestled in her lap and personal booklet resting on the arm of the chair as she strums lightly, building the chorus of her new song out loud. She takes the pencil from behind her ear and jots down something quickly and messily, returning to strumming and humming simultaneously.

“Paloma!” She hears the loud voice of her father practically making the walls shake as he calls out for her from his bedroom that was on the other side of the house. They often opened all the doors and windows to allow the soft breeze to flow throughout their space. 

She groans, stopping her actions as the melody she was on the brink of figuring out leaves her entirely.

“What, daddy?!” She yells back, waiting for his reply which never comes.

He does this all the time.

Cursing quietly, Paloma stands from her comfortable spot, gently leaning her guitar against the wall then walking in to the house.

She finds Romeo exiting his bedroom and walking towards her, bottle of his good scotch in hand with a relieved look on his face. “Couldn’t find the goddamn liquor. Thought you had nabbed it from me.” He pinches her nose as he walks by her, in which she scrunches her face at the action. It's something he’s done since she was a little girl. It can be endearing but most of the time; it was just annoying.

“That’s the good stuff, daddy. I would never.” She follows behind him as they enter the kitchen, “Man must’ve left quite an impression for ya to be bustin’ out the crown jewel.” She watches as he begins to set out the dinnerware for tonight, and that’s when she realizes how late it has gotten.

It’s easy for Paloma to lose herself in her music. She has been able to since she was a child. Her mother had nursed the hobby the moment she saw how truly talented her daughter was. In return, Paloma became skillful in being able to play damn near any instrument put in front of her. And she could sing, too.

Beautifully.

“Javier’s got a sharp mind that I can use ‘round here. Thinkin’ I can finally start makin’ some damn progress. That deserves a special drink, don’t ya think? Come help me set the table.” She obliges, thinking her father’s words over.

The murders have been weighing heavily on his shoulders since they began. All the time and effort he’s put in to make the puzzle pieces fit only to come up empty handed. Paloma doesn’t know the specifics of it, just what he rants to her here and there. He doesn’t like to bring his work home.

Romeo has been away a lot since putting his entire focus on the cases. Many nights spent at the office but he at least tries to share one meal with his daughter throughout the week. Paloma understands this, and like always she gives him his space and doesn’t complain about it. 

The only reason she’s stuck around Seminary for so long is for him. He wouldn’t know what to do without her.

“Well I’m glad things are lookin’ up, finally. Can’t wait to meet this sharp thinkin’ Javier.” They finish setting up and Paloma excuses herself to go get changed into something a little more dressy seeing as her father was looking more put together than usual.

He must really be trying to make an impression.

Her room is on the second floor, alongside her childhood playroom and the empty room that contained some miscellaneous items.

Like her mother’s things.

Paloma always has a habit of letting her gaze linger at the closed, white wooden door of the room every time she passes it. In a strange way, she feels like her mother is standing behind that door; just waiting for her to open it and greet her like her daughter wishes she could.

But she hardly ever does, the sorrow feeling in her chest too heavy for her to bear being in there for longer than a few minutes.

She passes it with a quick glance, now entering her bedroom and throwing open her wardrobe doors. It’s a mess, like it usually is, but it’s an organized chaos that only Paloma Leighton could decipher. 

After eyeing some outfits, she decides on a cream toned, linen romper with shorts. It has a deep V cut in the front that tastefully exposed some of the tanned skin between her breasts. However, she puts on a matching lace bralette underneath to soften the risqué of the outfit.

Her hair is the brown of aged mahogany. Long and thick, it falls almost to her waist and she does nothing but brush it out. It naturally falls the way she likes. A beautifully sculpted cross necklace hangs from her neck; it was her mother’s and she’d given it to Paloma shortly before passing. She finishes getting ready by spritzing some of her perfume and applying lip gloss before sauntering down the steps.

She hears the soft sound of her father’s record playing some old school country tune, the song sounding throughout the house and she smiles gently. She crosses the threshold and is out on the porch to gather her things from earlier when she catches the headlights of a vehicle coming down the elongated driveway of the property.

That must be him.

“Daddy, your friend’s here!”

Javier got a chance to get to get acquainted with the town before his dinner with the sheriff. He wandered around the shops and establishments that littered the main street of Seminary, drove the backroads then up and down the highway a few times to get a feel for how he would approach his new job. 

The conclusion he’s come to is that the town, for the most part, is harmless. But he’s only been here one afternoon so what the hell does he know?

After his exploration, he finally made it to the place he would be calling home until further notice. A dingy yet quaint trailer home located on about two acres of land. It has everything he requires. Furnished neatly and stocked with all the cooking utensils he could ever need but ultimately never use. Javier found himself more comfortable after unpacking the few items he’d brought along with him.

Maybe his father was right. Maybe he can finally slip into some normalcy.

But he’s only been here one afternoon so what the hell does he know?

After a stop at the local bakery, an ‘if you blink you’ll miss it’ type of establishment, and the purchase of some homemade banana pudding; the man is driving up a dirt path to Romeo’s home.

The sheriff lives on an impressive mount of land, his house looking like something plucked straight out of an old southern painting. A large, two story home with a wraparound porch. A typical white picket fence surrounds the immediate area. The landscaping is beautiful, it looks very well tended to and he can hear Chucho’s voice ringing in the back of his head.

“¿Vez? Que te dije (see? what did I tell you)— peaceful.” 

He cuts the engine of his Ford, checking his appearance in the rearview mirror before grabbing the tinfoil container from the passenger’s seat and getting out.

The first thing he sees as he approaches the front door are long, tan legs that lead up to some full and soft looking thighs that instantly have him licking his lips.

And who is this?

“Good evening, ma’am.” His deep voice cuts through the sound of the summer evening, his Texan accent thick. The sounds of toads croaking in the distance and different insects chirping about set a pleasant ambiance for the southern night.

The woman stands alert at the sound of his voice and turns to face him, which causes Javi to damn near lose his breath at the sight of the beauty in front of him.

It is the same woman that Romeo had shown him earlier, except the picture didn’t do her natural beauty any justice. She’s got the most gorgeous features he’s ever seen on a woman, and he’s been around a lot of beautiful women. 

Her lips are pouty and pink, the gloss she’s wearing accentuates their plushness so well. Honey colored brown eyes that even from where he stands can see twinkle with curiosity beneath the soft porch lights. Freckles sprinkle across her nose and the tops of her cheeks complimented by her natural blush. 

Damn.

“You must be Javier. I’m Paloma, Romeo’s daughter.” She smiles at him in which he can’t help but mirror as she sets down the guitar in her possession and he slowly walks up the porch steps.

Well, this certainly is a pleasant surprise. When Paloma’s father had told her about the new guy that was joining the department, she just pictured some run of the mill, old looking man. One that looked like every other one of his colleagues. 

She most definitely wasn’t expecting such a handsome man like the one that’s in front of her.

“Paloma.” The way her name falls from his lips with a Spanish accent has her stomach erupting in butterflies.

She’s never heard anyone say it like that.

“Beautiful name. Very fitting.” The flirtatious compliment is one she’s heard too many times to count, but hearing it come from him makes it feel like the sweetest thing she’s ever heard. Their close proximity has her catching a whiff of his cologne mixed with.. cigarettes?

Her thighs clench involuntarily.

Javier takes her hand in his as she extends it to greet him. Instead of going in for a handshake, he brings it up to his lips and places a soft kiss against her knuckles. It has her tingling all over; electricity sprouting from the spot where the kiss is planted. She can’t help the way her blush deepens at the action, and she almost wants to slap herself for reacting so easily.

Dating isn't a priority in Paloma’s life. Any man worth having in this town is already taken and the rest are nothing but a waste of time. Just some fun for her to have, hooking up with a handful of them whenever her fingers couldn’t get the job done. 

It is rare when there's an eligible newcomer and even then she is too preoccupied with keeping the family home in shape and her music to even think about dating. She is aware of the way the gossips in town talk about her, disliking that she is a single and childless twenty-six year old woman.

“She should be married by now. At her age I already had three kids.”

“It’s so sad, really.”

“I’ve heard she’s given it up to about half the boys in town.”

They gasp and glance over at her over their shoulders. Paloma pretends she doesn’t see them do this.

Her true love, aside from music, is that of traveling. She wants nothing more than to leave Seminary all together and head west, see what the rest of the world has to offer. Take a chance on her music... make a name for herself.

Unfortunately for her, she’s got some heavy family ties here in Texas (her father) and after the death of her mother— she wouldn’t dare leave him. The guilt would eat her alive.

Was it fair for her to give up her aspirations just to keep one person happy? No… but things aren’t always fair and she has a decent life here in Seminary. She doesn't have to worry about paying any bills or surviving on her own; though she knows she’s more than capable of doing so if she really had to. She only has that job at the library to help pass the time whenever she’s not buried in a book or playing her day away on the piano. Any money she receives is stashed away in an old jewelry box in the back of her closet in case one day she finally decides to leave.

All that to say that romantically, men aren't something she focuses on. However, this man in particular, she could spare some of her attention to. Something about his swagger is attractive. He shifts his weight onto one foot and pokes his hip out slightly; giving her a good view of his built figure.

“Clever and charming. Guess daddy was right about you.” Paloma cocks her head to the side slightly, taking in his appearance better now that he was closer and damn, is he handsome. The type of handsome that you only see on TV. 

He’s clad in a long sleeve, forest colored shirt with a few buttons undone at the top; a gold chain teasing her against his brown skin. He’s rolled the sleeves up on the shirt up to his elbows and she notices how rugged he looks, veins on his forearms flexing ever so slightly. Tight cowboy jeans are paired with some expensive looking brown leather boots and a nice belt to tie it all in together.

Her eyes travel up from his body to his countenance, noticing how truly handsome and mature he is. Like he’s experienced things she’d never come close to imagining. She wants to know it all. The full 70s looking pornstache above his lip somehow very appealing to Paloma, whose ‘type’ up until this moment has been clean cut, military boys.

He is anything but clean cut, and she likes that. 

His lips full, nose very distinguished with a devilish curve and… stable looking. A perfect seat for her to perch herself on. She can practically feel it nudging against her clit before he completely devours her.

A lazy yet cocky lopsided smile tugs at his lips, as if he can see the filthy thoughts in her head. “Already talking me up, I see.” he greets Romeo, whom Paloma hadn’t realized had stepped outside since she was too preoccupied eye fucking the stranger in front of her. 

“Didn’t tell her nothin’ that wasn’t true. What’s that you got there?” The older man gestures to the container.

“I could spot Betty’s homemade banana puddin’ with my eyes closed.” Paloma speaks up, trying to recover from the slight embarrassment she feels for thinking so sinfully about him.

Javier’s onyx colored eyes meet hers again and she looks away almost bashfully, occupying herself by finally gathering her things.

“I couldn’t show up empty handed. Ma woulda slapped me right upside the head. Where are your manners, niño (boy) ?” He does what she would assume is an impression of his mother and this gets a giggle out of her.

She is utterly interested in getting to know him better.

“On behalf of us, you can thank your mother for instilling manners into ya. Come on in, we cleaned for once.” He jokes, ushering his company in and she just rolls her eyes playfully at her father’s antics.

The night turns out to be very enjoyable for Javi. He is in good company and the dinner provided, cooked by Paloma since she didn’t let her father take credit for any of it, definitely helped soothe over some of the smaller, sore spots left by Colombia. 

They laugh and swap stories, Javier shares some of his more lighthearted moments in the country down south while Paloma and Romeo try to out-embarrass each other with different family tales.

It helps to have some eye candy, though, as he finds it difficult to keep his eyes away from her longer than a few seconds. Even while the sheriff is in direct conversation with him, Javier can see her from his peripheral and how she also can’t seem to peel her gaze from him.

Murphy always gave him a ‘hard time’ about his effect on women and how Javier used it to his advantage. It’s the only way he got shit rollin’ down in Colombia. The only people that approached him willingly were the working ladies that resided in the city.

And who was he to turn down a good, even great time?

Quickly enough, word had spread amongst the girls and next thing he knew; he had a list of ‘informants’ so long that even he began to lose track.

It was simple, getting information from them then taking them back to his place… his car… or the bar restroom. Whatever was most convenient.

Most of the time they would come to him with bullshit leads just to see him again, and most of the time he would just give them what they wanted, which was just another blissful night with Agent Peña.

Something about Paloma, however, gives him the impression that he wouldn’t fuck her how he did those girls down south. Not unless she asked… begged him to, at least.

He’d make sure to kiss every inch of her golden skin, make her feel good and satisfied before burying himself deep inside her. What’d he do to see those pretty lips parted with his name falling from them like a prayer.

“You should sing him somethin’. ”

Romeo’s suggestion has Javier raising his brows and snapping him out of his thoughts.

They’ve moved out onto the porch, taking in the peacefulness of the night and the clear view of all stars the littered the unobscured sky. The banana pudding long gone.

“I am not some show pony you can just make do tricks whenever you like, old man.” She retorts playfully from her spot on the top of the porch steps, meddling with the rings on her fingers.

From this angle, Javier is able to get a better look at those thighs he’s been fantasizing about all night. Is it a terrible move to go after your quote un quote ‘bosses’ daughter after just meeting her? Probably, but Javi’s done worse and he’s picked up that she seems to be very keen to his subtle advances. Or not subtle, depending on how well he is able to hide any type of direct flirtation with his natural charisma.

“You shy to?” Javi asks her, lighting the cigarette that rests between his lips. He is a pro at chain smoking, this making it the fourth one he’s smoked in the last hour that they’ve been out here. 

She snorts, shaking her head and looking over at him. When their gazes meet, he can’t help the shadow of a smirk hover his lips and she slightly narrows her eyes at him.

“That one? Shy? The last damn word I’d use to describe her.” Romeo takes a swig from the scotch he’s poured, pointing at his daughter. “Sometimes I can’t get her to shut up.”

“Wow, and father of the year goes to…” She replies sarcastically, standing which allows Javier to let his eyes linger over her body, taking a long drag from the cigarette to keep his perverted thoughts at bay.

Like how he wanted to feel her thighs wrapped around his waist. Or better, his head.

“I’m just teasin’. She’s got such an angelic voice, I never get tired of hearin’ her sing.” The sincerity in Romeo’s tone pulls Javier out of his ogling, attention now over to the older man. 

“You should come see her at The Whiskey Fox weekend nights. Puts on one hell of a show.” She leans back against the railing, crossing one foot over the other. This causes the shorts of her romper to rise up slightly, exposing more of her skin.

Like a moth to a flame, he’s eyeing her once more but doesn’t make it as obvious. He wouldn't want to be chased out of here by a shotgun wielding, overprotective father.

“Is The Whiskey Fox the spot to go to in town?” Javier asks to no one in particular, ashing his cigarette on the small plate that sits on the small table between him and the sheriff.

“More like the only spot in town. It’s a bar with a stage, n’they have the best loaded fries. Swear.” She informs him, once again commanding his undivided attention.

No matter how many times he looks at her, he’s still taken aback by how breathtakingly beautiful she is.

“Well if you swear then I guess I’ll have to stop by some time.” He nods his head towards her and she smiles softly, pushing herself off the railing.

“Just give me a heads up when you decide to make your first appearance.” He hears a hint of flirtatiousness in her statement, as if she’s rolling the ball in his court to make the first move. 

As badly as he wants to take her up on that, thinking on a whim like he always has; Javier stops from doing so. This was a chance for him to start anew, amend for all the mistakes he made in Colombia.

But she’s making it very difficult for him to.

Did he really have any intention of changing if all it takes to throw caution in the wind is one pretty girl?

“As much as I’d love to stay in the pleasure of y’alls company….” She runs her hands down the front of her outfit and begins to head inside, “I have to be up early to open the library. You still takin’ me, daddy?” She asks the sheriff softly, stopping by the front door and Javier looks away, glancing out into the distance.

The older man grumbles out, “Yeah. We gotta get that car of yours up and runnin’ though. Don’t know how many free rides I got left in me.” The statement piques Javier’s interest and he can’t help but to rejoin the conversation.

“Got car problems?” He looks between them two, gaze lingering over her as she speaks up. 

“Yeah, my Darla quit on me ‘bout a month ago. Mechanic in town can’t seem to fix the problem.” Paloma seems annoyed by that fact and that has him offering to help before his own brain can stop him from doing so.

“I restored my truck. Had some help from my pops but I pretty much got her up and runnin’ all by myself.” Javier takes another puff of his cigarette, keeping a small smirk at bay as he catches Paloma’s attention drift over to his vehicle in interest. “I wouldn’t mind takin’ a look at yours. If that’s okay. ”

Her father also lets out a sign of content, “That’d be fuckin’ great, Javi. Godsend this guy, poppin’ into town and helpin’ me solve all my goddamn problems. What’s it been— not even a day? Shiiit.” Romeo lets out a laugh, finishing off the contents in his short glass.

Javier would usually find this amount of praise annoying–– ass kissing to keep him content in the shitty position he’s been put it in. However, in this instance, he doesn’t really mind it. It would also give him an opportunity to get to know Paloma better without it crossing over into more nefarious territory.

“Yeah, very sweet of you. I’d really appreciate that.” Yet another glimpse of her enchanting smile. She bends down to place a kiss on her father’s cheek and then waves at him. “Good night y’all. It was a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Peña.” Even though Javi had already told her to call him by his first name earlier, he can’t help but enjoy the way his surname pushes past her lips. That sweet voice of hers sounding like pure honey.

“Pleasure’s all mine, Miss Leighton.”

[evolutionsbedingt]

I decided to make this a separate post because I realised this derailed quickly into me being frustrated by shoddy research BUT.

Inspired by this post by @/polarcell, who is also the owner of the following screenshot, here there be an

The Old Guard rant:

^Those were my tags before I decided not to bother OP with this.

As I've recently (as in, until last week) spent an enjoyable semester getting annoyed by Mycannaen Greek and whether or not the Ilias has any convincingly 12th century BCE features, I have even more opinions on this than I already had.

You see, in the fifth millennium in the Western Asian steppes (usually defined as the steppes on the western side of the Ural mountains - yes that's a lot of territory, don't worry about it) we didn't have Greek people. Hell, Greek people weren't even a speck on the horizon yet. Their ancestors, the Proto-Indo-European people may have just started to arrive from the Caucasus, but we're very, very far away from speaking Greek or using the name 'Scythians'.

Scythians are commonly defined as the people living in the North Pontic steppes between 7th and 3rd century BCE. Their name may derive from a self-description as archers. They spoke Scythian languages, Thracian (both Trümmer languages), Ancient Greek and Proto-Slavic (only known in reconstruction). Probably. Because thanks to the Scythians being nomadic we don't have a whole lot of writing from them, much less bigger texts in their own language.

And Andromache? Is first attested in Homer's Illiad and Fragment 44 by Sappho, both dated to the 8th century.

So it's possible for a Scythian woman to be called Andromache (and considering the meaning of her name it's quite appropriate for Andy to take it on). BUT! She's not originally Scythian! Her real name is not Andromache! This is an epithet she didn't bother getting rid off after the fall of the Scythian "empire"! She spent four thousand years being called something else beforehand, maybe something that sounded similar, maybe something we cannot possibly explain with PIE linguistics! BECAUSE SHE'S PROBABLY NOT EVEN PIE!! DO YOU KNOW HOW BADLY I WANT TO SIT THIS WOMAN DOWN AND MAKE HER SPEAK HER ORIGINAL LANGUAGE!!!?

(Also, her speaking "all" languages would in fact make sense for European and some Iranic languages if she is actually PIE and not from a people that lived in the Western Asiatic steppes before the immigration of the PIE people. And if she's been with Quynh for a few millennia - possibly even pre-Scythian times? did they arrive with them from the East? - it is very likely that an equal proficiency in the precursors of various East Asiatic and Turkic languages leads to an easy grasp of those. The rest probably is travelling and, I assure you, once you've learned a certain amount of languages it becomes easier to learn new ones.)

So what I'm saying is: Give me Andy's real name you cowards! I'm sure a friendly PIE linguist would have a lot of fun coming up with one (and perhaps it'll even be pronounceable for English people :P)!

[dungeonsandblorbos]

New silly little OC tag "game"

this hilarious and thought-provoking post (link) happened to cross my dash this morning, and while reading through the replies i was struck by the image of one of my husband's OCs attempting this late in the series and having a literal mountain of eggs in front of him, which was so funny to me that i immediately decided i had to know this very important fact about everyone's OCs:

Over the course of a full day, could they eat their age in eggs? And if so, how would they do it?

the original poster called this a personality quiz and as silly as it is i am genuinely only half-joking when i say it's a very important fact. why? because it tells us about how your character thinks, as well as their understanding of their own capabilities (and their food preferences too, for fun).

does your OC take it at face value and go "No, I'm a full-grown adult; that's too many fucking eggs"? alternately, do they take it at face value and just down multiple cartons of raw eggs without even blinking?

or do they instead thoughtfully consider the challenge, planning out multiple egg-heavy meals and snacks spaced out over the entire 24 hours? do they do the same preparation of egg for the whole day because that's how they interpret the question/they just don't know that much about cooking, or do they mix it up and have different preparations each time to keep it from getting monotonous? do they get creative and count eggs that are used as ingredients in other dishes, like quiche and custard and souffles and homemade pasta?

do they get smart about it and decide to use quail eggs because they're smaller and the question never specifies what kind of eggs they had to be? do they get really smart about it and just eat a spoonful of caviar because the question never specifies what kind of eggs they had to be?

anyway this seemed like a fun and clever way to learn something new about everyone's OCs so let's get tagging! @somethingclevermahogony and @illarian-rambling i'm tagging you first because i literally thought about the casts of Testaments and Honor's Outcasts while writing this up. i'm also tagging my new moots @tombstuck-writes and @colombette because it seems like a fun way to get to know your casts better! and i'm tagging @thelaughingstag to put this idea in front of more writers. finally i'm tagging every single writer, artist, or TTRPG-er who sees this and feels inspired!

(also if you get tagged, feel free to do this for yourself as a little "get to know the writer/artist/player" too, either instead of or in addition to your OCs 😊)

go forth and eat eggs!

[lilrobinbird]

Long Ass Tag Game

Cause I wanna get to know you guys better

Thanks for the tag @edas-boytoy <33 Putting this under cut

I accidently wrote looong answer for one question shdhs

How many tumblr accounts have you had before this one?

It's my first one actually haha, I've made like two/three more after this but now they're abandoned forever

Also for this blog I have two sideblogs, I don't really use them now either

How long have you been in fandom?

Like the current one? By the end of July 2023 I posted my first Kyoshi novels fanart and maybe one month earlier I started rebloging and commenting on posts from others, this was after I read the novels and I jumped into their fandom and then in the procces I've also got into tlok and atla (I enjoyed them way earlier but I just didn't participate in their fandoms)

Your favorite trope in fiction?

HMMMmmm Grumpy serious stoick ish x chaotic more fun (and other antonyms that matches first character idk) (whatever heituat has going on))), expressive women with strong personalities, girlfailures<3, severe stern ruthless etcetc women but caring deep down inside (optional), morally gray characters, and I'm just a little obssesed with mother daughter relationships in fiction if that counts as a trope

Your favorite random fact?

That might be well known idk, but sometimes for a video game character they'll hire one person as only just face model, and then differnt person as voice and acting/motion capture

Must feel weird and funny when you basically see yourself in video game doing stuff you didn't do speaking with a different voice

Your favorite game or kind of game?

Now I don't really play video games myself but since I've watched Until Dawn gameplay yeaaaars ago I still like to watch playthroughts of those choice based horror games (the quarry, devil in me, resident evil etc), and later I watch other playthroughts for different choices outcomes scenes etcetccc, The games can be kinda stupid but fun, alsooo playthroughts of adventure games(???), I usually watch them when I eat something

Also CHECK OUT "STRAY"!! I only watched playthrought too but it looks so cool, you basically play as a cat (they did good job with motion capture, feels like real cat moves and it looks so fun to play) and you're in a world when humans no longer exist and there are cool looking robots, you can stratch walls and make robots pet you but I promise it's not just that lolol it has an actual plot and wordbuilding

Aside video games I like chess but I suck big time, but for my defence I mostly played with my friend who sucks even more aHA, we downlanded one chess app for two players and played during some classes

I think I'm just interested in 3d models and graphics hehhh I like 3d modeling

There's also a game called Hades, and this one I actually started playing myself, not the kind of games I'm usually into (roguelike),but friend got me it and! The character designs are very cool

HA nerd long anwser

A place you'd like to visit? (If carbon emissions, logistics and money weren't in question)

Honestly idk, somewhere warm, Greece? Spain would be nice too mmm mm architecture

Or someplace with cool mountains

An animal you're irrationally afraid of?

Ladybugs. No further explenations. But I do appreciate their beauty on photos and from big distance, I'm serious they are very pretty

What's your favorite season?

HMmmm currenlty maybe spring

A smell that brings you nice memories?

I still remember taking a breath of fresh spring air in a specific room last year and getting hit with memories lol, is that even a smell? felt like a smell

(If you're ok talking about food. If not, delete this part)

What's your favorite food from where you were born? And what's your favorite food from some place else?

Pierogi, krokiety and bigos from our stupid potatoland, from other places hmmm, most kinds of pasta maybe, I love pasta, pasta!! which is a little boring but mmmmm mm mmmm pastaaaaa

What's your favorite drink (if you drink alcohol, alcoholic and non-alcoholic)?

I do drink but not too often and I don't really care what, I like flavoured beer, which is alcohol for babies as my friend would say and she might be right but I like it

Do you give your pets random table scraps?

Not too often but sometimes yeah and depends what is it

no pressure tag @korrasamibottles

[yuusaris]

@rochelle-echidna showed up in the thief king bakura tag cuz I follow it, doing a "post a couple paragraphs of your WIP" share-a-thon thing and said anyone who sees it could do it and I saw it and I wanna do it, I wanna I wanna I wannaaaaa!!!!!

tagging @millenniumringg, @justapalspal @nightingalejune and @ladymdc and anyone else who just wanna wanna wanna like meeeeeee

I'm obvs gunna do a few of these, obviously. I have too many WIP's not to share. I'm gunna do my lmk ones first, then the ygo's and I'll end on a very delayed WIP for rvb, mmkay? mmkay.

--[Unnamed]--

(Context: My last dump was to make way for this - a whole new plot and direction for a fic whose name doesn't suit it right now and is thus unrtitled - the idea is... well, honestly, this is almost all of the first chapter, so, it'll speak for itself.)

“Like a…bri-- a- a wife?” Macaque’s brow furrows. “You want to get married? You.”

“What’s that tone? I could get married if I want!” Wukong spits. “If I even want a queen - I mean, it’s not like we even need one.”

“Then why are you thinking about it?”

Wukong groans, “Well, everyone else’s got one!” and deflates at his status - the odd-king-out. “Bull’s totally gunna marry Jade Face, Peng and Tusk are saddled up, King of Confusion’s just got that new thing on his arm, even White Snake snagged herself some human to mack on-- Not that it matters!” Wukong defends - no, declares, because it is a fact. “Cuz I don’t need one just cuz everyone else is doing it, just - why’s everyone dipping on party time because of some spouse, what’s so important about them? Am I missing something here?”

“If you have to ask, you’re probably not ready for that kind of relationship--”

“Relationship, shmelationship, what’s that gotta do with anything?!” Wukong, just as he finishes, decides he doesn’t like the look on Macaque’s face either. “Y’know, for my right hand man, you’re not bein’ too helpful right now.”

--[Almost And Enough]---

(Context: My S4 Wukong In The Broken Scroll fic I've been working on sinceeeeee fffffuck, whenever it was S4 came out. I've been working on this all year and Chapter 1 IS done, but I want to finish the fic before I post. Either way, we've got a Wukong - currently not Wukong and therefore Monkey -deciding to share his Secret, that being, he's going to leave to find immortality. And he picks a very particular person to share it with first...) The Macaque looks to the sky, the trees, the fruits - as long as it’s not as his King. “The others should know.” Is his only, halting, response.

Monkey shrugs, shoulders hiking then rolling back in a way he hopes is cool. “I wanted to tell you first.”

“Why?” The Macaque asks with a dismissal that’s purely performative. “We’re not close just because we’re part of the same troop - We’re almost strangers, we’ve never even talked.”

Lies are sort of like secrets--

“You should tell the other mountain troops to merge with ours.” Monkey had suggested. “It makes no sense for us to hoard the cave when there’s others who need the shelter too!”

“I can do that,” replied the monkey, a macaque with three round ears to each side of his head. His face was a wild splatter of red with exciting flares, more extravagant than the smooth curves of Monkey’s peach-pink patch. “You’re King now, so...”

--but much less fun.

“Well, ‘almost’ isn't a stranger, is it?” Monkey grins when he finds a stick in the ground - almost a branch but just shy of earning the title. Absently, he answers as he slings it over one shoulder, “Besiiiides, us not talking is as much on me as it is you so, this is me breaking the ice and you being forgiven for not trying.”

--[My Poltergeist Is Dead And Everything Is Worse Now]--

(Context: a trauma-release fic I've been writing while mourning my cat. Weirdly took on life with sections named after bits of Bojack's eulogy for his mother. It's a funeral, taking place within the Milleniaum...Cube? Cube. Plana Cube, after Ryou got ousted from the movie by the Cube. If Joey went to a place no one remembers him, Ryou went to a surrealist funeral, where he'll be around all the people he lost, with a big focus on the Spirit of the Ring. His family is written in past tense because they have passed away and this cannot be undone or forgotten)

He sits at the pew, next to his mother, with his sister crawling into his lap. The Spirit sits behind him, and toys with Ryou’s hair, drawn back as respectably as a boy with long hair can manage. Ryou shakes his head to shake the hand off, but only succeeds in garnering Amane’s infant hands instead. 

“It doesn’t make sense, him being gone.”

Ryou listens to her speak, his eyes on the casket.

“It doesn’t feel real.”

Ryou looks to his side. His mother’s head was bowed, not looking at the coffin. Her stiff body and closed eyes unnerve him from her seat. In a rhythm, she took one long breath, exhaling, and each after became smaller and smaller. In a moment, she didn’t seem to breathe at all - Ryou checks for her chest to rise wide again, and ends up staring instead.

“Did you love him?” Ryou asks her, a thing that’s haunted him just beneath his foundations.

A glassy eye was open, pointed in Ryou’s direction. The answer took longer than Ryou was comfortable with, and the answer itself had been no sweeter.

“Do you?”

--[Love, The Me That's Killing You]--

(Context: Ryou has discovered Bakura's got Hanahaki disease and it's killing them both as they share a body. So he's trying to figure out who is it Bakura could possibly be in love with. Despite efforts to dissuade him, Bakura eventually concedes to the search, rushing Ryou past pictures of the Battle City finals until--)

“That one!” Bakura points. To a young girl with cinnamon brown hair.

“Jounouchi-kun’s sister?” Ryou asks, dreadingly, as Bakura nods, furiously. “...She’s… thirteen.”

There’s a choking sound. “Not… not that one, then.” Bakura rasps. “The other one, there was another one, still had the hair and the - there! Yes, her!” He points, it’s Isis. Ryou’s confused.

“But you just said-”

“I made a mistake, am I allowed to make mistakes?”

“About someone you love,” Ryou gestures to the petal pile, “this much?”

“It was - dark,” Bakura stutters. He stuttered. “And windy, and there was - we were in a lot of pain, Landlord…” Bakura’s brushing it all off.

“You’re dying over someone you just mistook for someone else?”

“Well, it’s not like I spent a lot of time with her, is it?!” Bakura barks. 

“Then what could you possibly love about her?!”

“That… is…!” Bakura stops, sputtering, “That is exactly it! She doesn’t speak to me unnecessarily, just how I like it! She knows her place, unlike a certain someone!” 

“Seen and not heard, is she?” Ryou gags, of his own reflexes, in disgust at the slime-coated sentiment. With a choke, Bakura balks, mumbling about Ryou understanding when he’s older.

--[3 Reasons Why (I Never Told You I Was Playmaker)]--

(Context: I love VRAINS. I love Chatshipping. I will write the Chatshipping somehow.)

“You don’t gotta tell me all that,” Shima says - as if it’s so simple to say even this! “Just say you don’t wanna talk about it.”

“You would have complained that I was keeping something from you,” Yusaku replies, without looking. “You would have felt hurt, gotten upset and run off.”

“I’m never upset with you!” Shima’s shocked, somehow. Yusaku only glances at him, brows stitched in dulled disbelief. “Well.. not for more than an hour, at least!”

‘Not for more than an hour’. Typical Shima.

“And," he continues, pointedly, "I wasn’t upset you ‘got secrets’,” Shima looks out, as if looking for where Yusaku’s eyes had just been. “You act like I’m too stupid to understand stuff.”

“I don’t think you’re stupid,” Yusaku’s quick to deny. Something about what Shima said twists a knot in his chest. “I think you’re overexcitable and you don’t always think things through, and-”

“Sounds like a stupid guy to me,” Shima interrupts with a frown. 

Yusaku’s mouth is stuck open from that, having no course correction for that comment.

Shima, not Typical Shima, stands up. He’s not looking at Yusaku. His fists go into his pockets.

“Whatever,” He shrugs. “See you at school.”

With too straight a gait, Shima walks with a tremble. It quickly gives way into a bursting sprint once he can’t hold it back. And Yusaku is the coward who doesn’t stop him.

--[Wedding Soup (Chapter 2)]--

(Context: after a sleepless night and wrestless workday, Ryou's sunset afternoon ends with many... many tsuchinoko in the backyard. They are notorious liars, known for their penchant for drinking and a deadly bite.)

“And I didn’t even get a chance to answer, the cashier just went,” Ryou pauses, as another dizzy spell hits him. “ ‘Cash or Card’.” With an offended sniff, he takes another long drink of tea - black and intense and brewed with double the teaspoons to make sure it keeps him awake. Ryou sets the mug down with a huff. “As if I’m doing something burdensome by personally restoring a cultural landmark.” 

“This is a nice trap,” One of the tsuchinoko says from the writhing ball. 

“It was certainly the nicest there,” Ryou says. “Not too painful, is it?”

“Agonizing!”

“Oh good, you wouldn’t believe how awful the others looked.” At the corner of his eye, Ryou spies another one slithering towards a covered trap. If the others are aware, they’re just as keen to warn it as Ryou is. “I even looked some up before I went out -  for every humane trap I found in that place, there were ten more glue traps.”

“Sounds fun!”

“I know. I swear, the heartlessness of some people--”

A snap, a yelp, then the frantic rattling of metal as the tsuchinoko flings itself across the trap cage. Ryou dons his thick gloves again, getting up from his spot on the back porch. “Here, here,” he says softly. One hand holds the snake firmly by the back of its tiny head, the other taking the flat bottom of the small cage. He lifts it from the ground, quickly shifts it to the larger tank, and tilts it before opening the flap. 

“In you go.”

--[Gore Couture]--

“Just last week, residents of rural Blood Gulch reported screaming around 2 AM. Police responded within minutes of the third report, but were only able to narrow down the location an hour after arriving on the scene. When officers arrived, they found no body, but confirmed the presence of human blood and organ tissue.”

“Can this schmuck emphasize any more words?” Isaac leaned against the break room counter, watching up at the screen.

“This isn’t a gossip channel,” Mason Wu’s stressed tone signaled agreement. “Someone’s missing at least a liter of blood.”

The television at the station at least showed part of his work on the news, a brief interior look into the storage cubicle. Without the corpse in the arranged outline, there were only blood splatters, disarrayed furniture and a signature - Gore Couture by Felíx.

Maybe the accent on the ‘i’ was a bit much.

“A liter?” Isaac gaped. “Ho-o-oly shit.”

“You’re a damn sociopath,” Wu whipped back to glare. “You do know you’re on thin ice for being a no-show that night--”

“I told you already,” Isaac shrugged. His coffee sloshed dangerously close to the rim of his mug. “I was with somebody.” It wasn’t a lie - Isaac was with abody.

[thefallenangelsgang]

Seeing as I just got tagged again in something similar by the lovely @victoriouscabaret, I probably should wrap this one up lmao. Unfortunately I'm about to show y'all how horrifically baby I am (as if the incessant Gen Z style posting and vocabulary wasn't telling enough 😭)

-------------------

Do you make your bed?

NO. The most I do is straighten the sheets (because I have yet to meet a sheet or life hack secure enough to beat my slumbering form. It's actually comical how easily I can pull a sheet off the corners) and shake out my blankets when they have more than the usual amount of cat hair on them. Sheets and pillowcases go on after wash and blankets get dumped in a pile on the foot lmao.

Favorite number?

Anything devisable by 5. Looking back on it actually a miracle no one diagnosed me with OCD sooner. I have childhood memories of compulsively counting things by fives and I have an abnormal interest in the way time breaks down by fives. The fact that you can use the analog clock face to do 5s multiplication tables is also a fun fact that still amuses me to this day. That probably only marginally has to do with OCD though.

What's your job?

I'm a student in university for History and Theater and maybe Poli Sci (except for this last semester, which I took off to reign in the burnout I've been nursing since I was way too young to be experiencing burnout on that scale). I have a summer job as a Housekeeper at a local nursing home. It is far from my first pick but the pay is very good for my area and it puts the compulsion to sterilize everything to work relatively well. When I'm on campus I work in the Theater's Costume Shop.

What I want to do is a different matter. My dream will always be to Act but the stressors are a lot and I am far from marketable to a common audience. I am aiming for a day job in Museum work (exhibit design or educator) with contract night work in Theater Tech (lighting, sound, or costume design) or even finding a way to fully do tech work in a stable manner.

Can you parallel park?

Yes but in nothing bigger than a small SUV and only in spots that are obviously much bigger than my car. I refuse to putz around with tight spots. I'll walk my disabled ass if I have to.

Do you think aliens are real?

I have no strong opinions. I am never going to say "absolutely not" cause history is full of hypotheses being disproven. This is also my rule when dealing with the concept of god and cryptids. Oral histories and folklore meets phenomena our brains have trouble comprehending and I am never going to say something is impossible just because our meaty overlords (that being the brain) fills gaps.

And also shit gets weird in the Appalachian Mountains. Between the chemical poisoning from generations of mining operations, waste sites, the dense vast forests, and unmapped cave systems, I'm never going to 100% say "that cannot happen."

Can you drive a manual car?

This is the one that babies me significantly. No. Though I am interested in learning!

What's your guilty pleasure?

I love taking pitch black showers. In the cooler months (before every day gets up to 70°F+) I like them piping hot. It drives my father up the wall because he's a 5 min shower kinda guy and I need to take 45 minutes in the sensory deprivation chamber or I am a bitch.

Tattoos?

None yet. I want some, I've got plans for at least 4, but I am weary of getting them right now. It's a pipe dream, but I filmed a short film that will be hitting major film festivals in 2025. I don't want to commit to the map of the Shire thigh piece I want or the vertebra on the back of my neck on the minuscule chance something big happens. The other 2 are smaller but I'm struggling with placement because I do want them to be hidden.

Favorite color?

Deep jewel tones. bonus points if the word "velvety" describes them. Real slut for royal blue and forest green. Also the washed out sort of khaki green color.

Favorite types of music?

Folk, both traditional and the stylized modern stuff, and Alternative, mainly from the 2000s to the 2010s. I am also into Musical Theater. Anything with a solid rhythm pattern or an emotional sound can very quickly become my favorite.

Do you like puzzles?

Logic games, yes. I don't find traditional puzzles all that relaxing. I am okay at Sudoku and word games. I have the white man hubris that i would kill at escape rooms despite never having done one.

Any phobias?

Spiders. IRL spiders I can mostly handle. They gotta be fuzzy though, those smooth bitches are not friend shaped. The reason I hate smooth spiders is because any kind of fake spider or spider-adjacent creature from any kind of visual media, but specifically very large cgi spiders in film and video games, are my main trigger. Giant painted spider in a fantasy book? no thank you. Spider in video game? Please god let there be an arachnophobia mod/setting. Spider-like creature done in CG or with practical effects? Tell me when this bit is over I feel like I'm going to be sick.

I genuinely think this stems from my childhood fear of real spiders (I was much more weary of them as a tot) and my parents showing me LotR at way too young an age. Shelob was not a suitable visual for a 7 year old to see in the dark.

Favorite childhood sport?

I played Basketball in middle school. I was not very good handling the ball outside of passing but I was very good at seeing and widening openings. I usually played one of the wings on offense and covering the wings on defense.

I was a little terror on defense but you had to be in my area. For some reason the local girls basketball scene was full of teams who fought almost ridiculously dirty. Nearly got in a fist fight with a girl on the court because she was literally two-handed shoving me while we were running a play and I gave it right back. She did not take it well. To highlight how normal that was, the Ref clapped his hands and simply said "Okay girls, fight club is on Tuesday" and didn't do ANYTHING else.

Not to mention my very first year, the girls team only had 5 people on it (that is the MINIMUM number you need). I was a 4th grader playing full games with our only breaks being the hard baked ones (half-time and the short breathers between quarters) and our Time-outs. We once had a difficult game where we were neck and neck with the other team and in the last quarter (so we were in no position to just forfeit) and the Refs saw my tiny ass and the rest of my poor teammates absolutely dying and started using their timeouts (which is a rare occurrence, refs only do that if they have a call to discuss). I think we won that game too.

I miss it from time to time but I'm no longer as spry or are there teams that play that kind of game around me.

Do you talk to yourself?

All the time. Too much probably and some of it barely makes sense lmao. I'm sure it drives my family up the wall.

What movies do you adore?

Oh boy. I don't even know where to begin. The Sound of Music has been a favorite since I was a child and my eyes just recently been opened to the majesty of The Birdcage and To Wong Foo. The LotR movies are up there. Rocky Horror, A League of Their Own, It's A Wonderful Life, and White Christmas.

Essentially anything that celebrates something that society tries to ignore for various reasons (Dumplin' is another example), or is nostalgic to me (Bedknobs and Broomsticks! I can't believe I forgot that movie!), or is made with so much love it bleeds out of the screen. I have a soft spot for old Hollywood films that feature some of the greats of dancing at the time.

Coffee or Tea?

Tea. I despise the taste of coffee. I'll drink espresso on occasion and have suffered through a heavily doctored cup of joe when I need the kick of caffeine but I am a tea person through and through.

I don't like anything particularly bitter and prefer fruity and herbal flavors. I REALLY like mint tea.

First thing you wanted to be growing up?

Labor and Delivery Nurse like my mother. We would visit her before bed when she was on night shift and I remember the nurses station of that unit like it was yesterday. Those are some of the only pleasant memories of a hospital ward I have and I've been in a LOT of hospitals and a LOT of different units over the years.

-------------------

Tagging some people I want to know more about <3 (no pressure though!)

@helena-bug (shhhh I know we've known each other over a decade stfu lmao)

@fablewritesnonsense

@just-another-wasteland-merc

@tcustodis

[ambersky0319]

Alright I need to destress AND kickstart my memory of nnt so! Gonna do a rewatch and write out some thoughts (inspired by @spacehostilityy and their rewatch posts, go check 'em out! 💜)

Gonna be using the tag #amber rewatches nnt btw ^^

Also might talk about Eternal a bit idk yet but keep in mind the rewatch is also to help me write that 😅 also also doing each post by episode because I ramble far too much at every little thing.

Enjoy the rambles!

Masterpost

Episode 1

Honest to god forgot about those flying sting ray things, and especially forgot they're one of the first things we see in the show!

The art? For the opening sequence?? Is so cool????

Like those things that can shapeshift in the forest Diane hides in are in there? And MAYBE Gerheade? Idk about her but one of the fairies look a LOT like her/has a dress very similar to the one we see her wear AND she's bigger than the other fairies

And are there any demons with feathered wings besides the blue bird like things? Because if not there's an armored character with wings like the goddesses (who only have 1 pair of wings in the art) on the DEMON side. Probably just digging into this too deep, but it'd be REALLY cool if that was foreshadowing Estarossa/Mael

I really wish Elizabeth had muscles and wasn't CONSTANTLY portrayed as being physically pretty weak (at least that's how it comes across to me - in fights she's constantly told to run/is never given any chance TO fight physically). Because she literally can't be?

Like Elizabeth has been walking REAL FAR in that armor and it is DEFINITELY not light. Do you know the strength she'd have to have to move that? She also slumps in it and her footsteps are slow/small so it IS weighing her down but the fact that she can move in it as far as she has - and probably up and down hills too without falling - is impressive

Anyway reminder to myself to show Elizabeth being physically strong in my fics from now on. This is canon now and no one can fight me.

Also the shot of Elizabeth on the hill in the armor with the sun glaring through?? It's such a gorgeous shot??????

Meliodas may be a shit cook but damn is he a pretty good server

Like mans got the entire tavern full and he's serving it basically alone cause Hawk cleans the scraps doesn't serve people booze and every customer is pretty happy and having fun (until they have the food lol)

I FORGOT HAWKS TAG SAID STAR BOAR AAAAASJDJFJDHF

Wonder at which point in time the whole telling your children "if you keep misbehaving one of the seven deadly sins will come for you in armor that's rusty from blood" because it HAD to be in the past 10 years, right? Unless people were saying that while they were still respected holy knights in which case,,,, ooof

But I'd assume a little after Zaratras was first killed

But also I wouldn't put it past this dude maybe coming up with it to scare his children lol he seems like a tired dad type

And here comes all the parts I hate

The groping and sexualization

Elizabeth is like. Fucking 16. And Meliodas DEFINITELY knows that. And just. Ugh

I do like Elizabeth in this color tho- the dark blue really suits her! It's why her uniform post-Meliodas' death is my favorite of all her outfits

How many talking pigs are there in Britannia??? Because Hawk's from purgatory and I figured THAT was why he could talk

And many other people get super confused/shocked by Hawk talking so it can't be common

When Elizabeth said with the most dejected face "no" after he asked if her father got her a talking pig Meliodas looked momentarily like "that bitch."

Let's be real he would've totally gotten her a talking pig somehow

Then he instant switches the conversation to try making her feel better 💜💜💜💜

I'm sorry, the order of WHAT?

"the Order of the Beard of the Mountain Cat"

Is this a translation error? Because if not... I have found my new favorite order and I am no longer worried about naming things in my own stories with ridiculous things

(also btw I watch in Japanese with English subs)

Wonder how the Boar Hat got so popular in this town in a matter of days. Like the booze is good sure but how tf did people find that out and who was the first person courageous enough to go poking around

Yknow. I'm surprised they didn't believe Hawk was the rust knight. I mean, the people who reported it had to be drunk right? Who's to say they weren't so drunk they mistook a pig in armor as the rust knight?

Damn Elizabeth is pretty agile! She's running across roots and jumping over things pretty efficiently!

Like as clumsy as she is, she still got some skills that they NEVER UTILIZE!

Also YOU CAN SEE THE FRAME MELIODAS GRABS HER AND JUMPS WITH HER I- HOW DID I NEVER CATCH THAT???!!

THAT SONG IN THE BG UUGGHHGHGHG

THIS ONE. I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH. MY HEART.

I forget if we go over how Hawk and Meliodas met/how far we go into their backstory

Like is he in on Meliodas being a Sin/previous Holy Knight or does he really just not know? (because there's no way Meliodas isn't at least a little wary of Holy Knights himself, hiding for 10 years no matter how in plain sight he is)

I mean. Elizabeth. Sweetheart. Your dad IS laid up in bed sick. It just so happens that the holy knights ALSO arrested the rest of your family and refuse to get your dad help (I think? Cause Merlin has to magically treat the king for his illness later and I assume the holy knights would be wary of letting a doctor treat him. Maybe Vivian was treating him?)

Unless Elizabeth didn't know her father was sick. In which case. Oooooooof. What a reunion later if that's true

Meliodas 🤝 Zuko : "That's rough buddy"

I forget what crime Merlin committed, because Elizabeth says the Sins are "composed of seven terrible criminals" unless she's not actually a criminal when they formed at least

Ahhh that's right, Elizabeth probably wouldn't remember the sins well because they had to leave when she was 6-

Although I wonder if Meliodas also tried to make himself scarce around her once she got to the age where she would retain memories better to avoid the curse activating somehow? Because I have a shit memory but most people do tend to remember things, even vaguely, from the ages 3-6 (my friends and I all have our earliest memory around 2-3)

Meliodas stiff as a board falling when Twigo attacked lmao-

It does make me happy to see some knights in Britannia, even if they're not Holy Knights, try to confront Holy Knights. Sure they backtrack but like, who wouldn't in the face of that power?

Twigo got awesome eyesight to see Elizabeth's earring from that far, nevermind it's DESIGN. Like damn I got 20/20 vision but I doubt I'd ever SPOT that

I was gonna say how tf did Allioni realize it was Meliodas/how would he see Meliodas' tattoo but going back his shirt was already ripped in that general area so! Continuity win!

He be shitting his pants too lol man was holding the most dangerous Sin up and yelling in his face, and he's SEEN what the sins can do

Wonder if he retired after this. I wouldn't blame him

PERFECT TIME KICKING IN WOOOOOOO

Also Twigo recognizes his face? And says "how can you look exactly the same as you did that day" Was he the old guard that showed Allioni the Sins' carnage? Or was he a Holy Knight that survived that attack?

I guess he also could've just been an apprentice Holy Knight too that recognized him but asking that question to me hints that Twigo tried fighting the Sins with everyone else

Netsujou no Spectrum is such a great song too. The NNT soundtrack is amazing

Is the tavern a recent development for Meliodas??? What was he up to before getting the tavern but after going into hiding?

This also brings up how I really don't remember what time in his backstory he meets Hawk. I just remember they met in jail

This town is in the boonies Twigo how long do you expect this trio to wait until you can not only get a message to the capital, but receive reinforcements??

Mama Hawk best murderer

Oh nvm she missed :/

"Was our meeting chance or Providence?" man I wish I could say for sure it was chance and she got damn lucky (it'd be cool imo to explore how things would've gone if she'd found one of the others first) but. With the curse and all... There's a VERY good chance it was Providence

"I hope it's a real one this time" - Gilthunder

Okay so... When does he get in contact with King then? I'm pretty sure we SEE them interact around Ban escaping Baste but like. Gilthunder would have to know that's where King was before that. When do the Holy Knights find and make a deal with King?

And that's my thoughts going through Episode One!

Don't know how often I'm gonna do these, maybe after Wednesday I'll do a lot more? Idk we'll see

If you made it this far, you're awesome! Lmk who your favorite character is and I'll do a quick drawing of them for you if you want 💜

[heartless-curr]

*folds hands together* 😎 welcome. we have some redwood art by @/soulsilvers who is to blame for this. and general old art in the tags. wonderful doodles btw, I can't believe you went and drew an extra doodle!! they're so great <3 I found your dad Lance post and you are the perfect person to influence with rare pairs and agendas I see. Two cool gen 3 gals?? Why not why not yk? If you look at Leaf's concept art, she has a Combusken with her in the snow. If you believe, maybe May is somewhere off screen. When I mentioned Evolutions, they just have that action-based personality that seems to click you know? That reckless adventure thing? If you go further deep into Pokemon lore with the Kanto war theory, Silph rivalry with Devon, and the economy. Then Hoenn is arguably better off than Kanto, which is more impoverished without a Champion in Gen 1 and Team Rocket running around. You have Birth Island, where you can find Deoxys in both FRLG and in Emerald. There are places they can meet. Siri play "a whole new world" from Aladdin because you gotta take your new bff not yet gf to a clean functioning region and watch her be baffled at all the new things and concepts. You will never find a food court in Kanto, they will charge you a million for a bike. I am also huge on extending the Dad Lance agenda to Leaf (she's the most neglected pokegirl in fandom, and excluded even here where Red and Blue aren't.) Some of this is Pokemon Special, some of this is the fact Trace calls her "big sis" in the Japanese version of Evolutions, some of this is beta!Blue (the first version of her character of the unnamed female protagonist) that we make angsty art of in a metaphysical sense as if these characters know they were deleted from the game. It's fun. In my little world, she was late to Giovanni's gym and found the HGSS cutscene of Gio leaving happening while she hid behind a lampost and kicked Lance's door down like "yo old man, you'll never guess what I just saw" except my brain is more complicated than that and I go back and forth on how the story plays out for one ask. It can get more angsty and tragic too because imagine texting your bff not yet gf while chilling in Lance's office (if Red is on a mountain, Blue is running the gym, then by all means, split the champion title between them so he doesn't collapse at his desk) and in Kanto: one day Cinnabar island erupts, and in Hoenn one day: there's a meteor set to destroy the world in 4 days. imagine their world being the world where ORAS Devon succeeded in transporting it into another dimension. what do you say at the end of the world? think about the potential Celebi holds when you want to save someone. think of the consequences of attempting to use a mythical Pokemon like that when Arceus/Mew find out. will you become the villain here just for that...?

YES I SAW THE SOULSILVERS REDWOOD ART i have to go rb that actually.... also yes when i first got the redwood request my first instict was to go "huh???" but i stopped and thought about them for 2 seconds and i'm now obsessed with them. my new favorite rare pair. and also yes i am the perfect person to influence with agendas and rarepairs. gestures at my own agendas like rocket siblings. i used to spend Hours with my friend coming up with aus and obscure dynamics i am So Susceptible to agendas.

also yeah leaf is absolutely one of the most just. underrated and overlooked female protagonists. from what i've seen it'd be her and the alola protag i think. and the reasons you've outlined are a huge chunk of the reasons why!

ALSO YESS THAT'S SO GOOD ACTUALLY!!! leaf after seeing the state in kanto seeing how Stunning hoenn is and just going ??????

also yes absolutely i believe in lance adopting leaf as well propaganda. i think lance is just That Kind Of Guy considering his canon spiels about being proud of seeing the rise of a new champion etc. also i'm a sucker for leaf and silver dynamics after pokespe.

[atwas-gaming]

30-something Christian gamer girl.  HUGE gaming theorist and analyst.  May also blog about theories related to other media, as well (books, movies, TV).  Eclectic tastes, I never know what I will or won’t like until I get into it.

I'm on Twitch! Stream schedule: M-Th, starts at 4:30p, usually runs 2-4 hours. Yeah, I know, lousy schedule, but it's what fits my life.

Current Twitch schedule (currently suspended while I finish Link's Awakening and Sonic Generations):

Monday: please check my About page. I do something different every Monday.

Tuesday: Sonic Generations

Wednesday: Backpack Hero

Thursday: Axiom Verge, hard mode

Check out my "game journal" tag to see updates on games as I play them. Many of these games are probably old and their fan bases are mostly dead, but I don't care, I'm having fun XD

Favorite genres: plaftormers, RPG’s, adventure, puzzle, “casual,” and Metroidvania.  And anything with a storyline that appeals to me.  Not too big on most shooters.  I don’t have anything against them, I just suck at shooters.  Solo player, mostly- my brain works like the brain of a cat, i.e., I like to repeat things until I memorize the patterns so I can “git gud,” or at least get better.  As a result, I don’t do so well when playing against the unexpected randomness of human nature. Again, nothing against it, I just suck at it.

Favorite games/franchises: Undertale/Deltarune (I include Undertale Yellow in this list and I will die on that mountain), Sonic, Axiom Verge, Zelda, Metroid (in that order). (Currently super-obsessed with UTY.)

Also Celeste, Stardew Valley, Ori, American McGee's Alice, Dark Souls, Witcher, and a bunch of others.  I’m bad at a lot of them, but I love them, anyway.

I believe that gaming is a sport and game design is art- which means both making and playing games takes skill and talent. I also believe that God is with us all the time, even in video games. So the purpose of this blog is to show all the ways that God reveals Himself in even the games we play.

I also want to encourage Christian gamers not to let other people tell them whether or not to play games, or even which games to play. God calls each of us differently. For instance, I have no interest in GTA, but if God called you to spread His love in the GTA community, go for it. It's between you and God to decide where He wants you to go. Just make sure you stay close to Him along the way.

From time to time, I'll post what I call "praise reports." These are where I brag about an accomplishment in a game- but I call them "praise reports" because I like to think that God plays games with me, and that when I get stuck, He helps me get through it. Sounds strange, I suppose, to say that God helps me with a game... But I figure, if I can trust Him with the big things, like food and money and my job, then why can't I ask Him for help in little things like beating a boss monster? (In fact, sometimes I feel like it's the other way 'round- like His help in beating a boss reminds me that He can and will help when the car breaks down or something.)

I also like to look at everything and compare it to what God says and ask, "Do I see any Biblical parallels in this?" Which leads to me saying things like, "Hylia giving up her divinity to become a human is like what Jesus did when He left heaven to be born in a manger," or "Sonic walking towards his death to take on his friends' corruption on Rhea Island reminds me of how Jesus carried His own cross to take our sins upon Himself." *shrug* Some people think it's weird. A lot of Christians says it's sacrilegious. I feel like it's just God showing Himself to the world in ways that everyday people will understand.

I am starting to use a special tag for these things: #Biblical parallels. I also have other tags for Bible references, Bible verses, etc. And I try to mark things as religious posts if they mention God or the Bible and I don't have another tag to fit them. Because I am a Christian and I do like to talk about God. But I also know that's not everyone's cup of tea.

I have four other blogs:

atwas-meme-ing, mentioned above

the-unrelated-theorist, which is nothing but Undertale/Deltarune theories. If you're into that, plz check it out.

sans-joke-book is for puns and bad jokes.

atwas-creations, which is where I will upload my fanart, fanfics, and fan games (when I finally get around to making them probably 50 years from now, but I'm working on it, anyway).

just-bible-musings, which is where I will post some of my deep thoughts about the Bible.

uty-timeline, which is all Undertale Yellow

[citrinekay]

ten first lines

Rules: Share the first line of ten of your most recent fanfics and then tag ten people. Don't have ten? Not to worry, just share what you have.

thanks for tagging me @tiffanylamps! I love the premise of this game because first lines are so important for me. I really try to write a first line that is completely recontextualized or paralleled by the ending, plus draws the reader in. I've written a lot, so I'll be pulling from different fandoms here including Mindhunter, Black Sails, Hannibal, and of course Beyond Evil 💃Let's get started 💃 1. "A day after Bill comes home from Wopsononock Mountain, the trap in the vegetable garden catches a rabid possum." from The Papermill Revivals my massive Mindhunter Prohibition Era AU and what I mean by recontextualizing the beginning. if ykyk 2. "The longboats emerge from the dark roll of the waves like ghosts materializing from nothing." from "trust among thieves" the first installment in a 7-part Silverflint series deconstructing of their relationship through kink over the second half of the show. spoiler alert: the series also ends with Silver again standing on deck watching Flint leave him rather than come back to him 🥺😭 3. "Boot leather clung to the ridge of jagged, charcoal rock, balance defying the magnetic pull of gravity." from The Painted Veil, a post-fall Hannigram fic wherein Will contemplates self-defenestration from a lighthouse. 4. "From a distance, it appears that Manyang hasn’t changed one bit." from the bitter and the sweet - my first jwds fic! spoiler alert: manyang had, in fact, changed 5. "The three buccaneers arrive at Port Royal out of the dusk and rain, though none but the innkeeper pays notice as the chaos around them prattles on." from this stretch of sea and sand, a post-canon Silverflint fic and my take on Hanahaki disease. a personal favorite. i tore my own heart out :( 6. "Seoul reminds Dong-sik of Sang-yeob." from a cruel and futile miracle - jwds post-episode 8 impulsive, drunken blowjobs. now Seoul reminds ds of jw too 😏 7. "Joo-won hears Dong-sik coming up and around the bend to the house before he sees him, the solitary, rhythmic thud of his sneakers striking the pavement at a steady jog the only accompaniment to early morning birdsong." from only our love can suffice aka the hair-washing fic aka Han Joo-won's Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known 8. "Dong-sik’s bathroom smells damp beneath a tang of citrus; the window is cracked to allow in the gust of rain-drenched air since the house had been built before the convention of a ceiling-mounted fan." from fractures, the jwds post- "I will go to hell" moment fic 9. "For years, Dong-sik had not minded living alone." from survivalism. spoiler alert: Dong-sik did, in fact, hate living alone. 10. "The first time Joo-won trespassed into Dong-sik’s basement, Dong-sik had thought, not just a cheeky prince but a reckless one, too." from steel trap teeth aka Joo-won going thru the whole spectrum of human emotions before finally admitting he wants Dong-sik to spank him 🥴

This was fun! I have nobody to tag but I had a ball going back through my old fics to find my favorite first lines! I'm fairly happy with all of these 😊

[maeglinthebold]

I posted 14,156 times in 2022

That's 4,856 more posts than 2021!

58 posts created (0%)

14,098 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@tasyfa

@megan-is-aa

@chuplayswithfire

@beautifulcheat

@ladynox

I tagged 14,148 of my posts in 2022

#our flag means death - 1,808 posts

#roswell new mexico - 1,482 posts

#blackbonnet - 1,067 posts

#our flag means death - 958 posts

#important - 724 posts

#blackbeard - 699 posts

#stede bonnet - 505 posts

#star wars - 481 posts

#tolkien - 423 posts

#fashion - 413 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#the fact that rose and finn didnt get fancied up for their casino planet infiltration just shows how little rj thought about them 🤷‍♀️

I sent 1 gift in 2022

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

the greater chaves county area polycule, part deux

36 notes - Posted September 6, 2022

#4

Roswell, New Mexico Finale Cocktails 🍸👽🍹👽🍷👽🍾👽🥃👽🥂👽

Instructions below the cut for the following:

Joniz Attempted Murder Margarita (shot)

Rum and Cosmic

Dr. V's Iced Tea

DeLuca Daiquiri

Rosalinda's Spicy Lavender Lemonade (nonalcoholic)

Joniz Attempted Murder Margarita (Shot)

Strawberry margarita mix to mostly fill the glass; separately, mix blue curaçao with silver tequila to “lighten” it (literally to reduce the weight) so that you can use back of a spoon to layer the blue on top. The sweetness and amount of tequila you need to add to the curacao make this drink an excellent shot. 

See the full post

41 notes - Posted September 4, 2022

#3

i like that i haven't needed to follow any new ofmd blogs to get ofmd content it's just. we're all ofmd blogs now

52 notes - Posted April 12, 2022

#2

See the full post

98 notes - Posted June 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Reasons why Michael Guerin Has a Mustache this season, some speculations

Following the predictable trend, the entire 13 episode run of Season 4 will take place over approximately 9 days. Not too long for a mustache experiment. But why, you ask? Why would God and the CW do this to us? Here are our best theories:

During production there was a "Michael" mix up and they gave Trevino's mustache to Vlamis, but once they realized the mistake it was too late to go back and re-film everything and they didn't want to be like Justice League Superman

What is left is an attempt to CGI the stache away

Entire season takes place during the last week of Movember

Michael lost a bet

Kyle bet him he couldn't grow one

It's the Michael Guerin version of gaining 20 lbs. once he's in a stable relationship

Michael is going to be Ted Lasso for Halloween

He's trying to look gayer

He's trying to look more hipster frat-boy Vlamis

It's his Freddie Mercury bicon phase

He's testing how much Alex loves him

He's helping Maria move on (and not want him back)

It's a standoff with Alex to make him get better hair

He's going to be in a community theater production of Brokeback Mountain

Disguise so Ramos doesn't recognize him

Disguise so Flint doesn't recognize him

Pandemic-related razor-shortage and he selflessly opted to go without

Speculating on the soup strainer is fun for the whole family! Reblog and add your own below! (image)

111 notes - Posted January 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[astralforests]

📌  hi here’s a pinned post

astralforests/charlie/aster/whatever it's all good

they/them in a "don't yet know otherwise" way unless you do in fact know otherwise

30ish, sick, tired

draws things for fun and money, sometimes posts about it here

horse person who currently only owns cats and ferrets and lives with dogs additionally

hobbies include sleeping, entertaining my pets, walking in the woods, making up stories that i swear i'll write some day, sleeping, reading, window shopping for rural cabins across the country, looking at pictures of big mountains and crying, sleeping, thinking about but rarely playing ttrpgs, and accidentally sleeping whilst listening to podcasts

tired

sorry

---

most posts queued. the queue is often 3 months long.

tagging is hit or miss these days although i occasionally back-tag for things i might want to find again

i do try to tag immediately for common content warnings; feel free to ask about what's likely to come up. can't promise i will remember to add new cw tags on request but you're welcome to enquire

my stuff at #astralpost

if you click the search box on the dash view of my blog it has a few suggested tags that i think are good to look at. enjoy

---

arts at @asterwild and @astralwhat and photos at @cambcorder

see also @boatshows (boat-adjacent media and history) and @hailtowhatever (misc fanart reblogs)

there are more sideblogs. ask about them or just hang around and they'll come up eventually

---

thanks be good i love you bye