#fun fact im writing a fanfic for day 6

[blackmadhiweek]

Here's the Prompt List for Blackmadhi Week, which will take place from May 22nd to May 28th, 2023!

Here's a written version for easier reading:

day 1: pining | firsts

day 2: redemption | secret

day 3: i love you (affectionate) | i love you (derogatory)

day 4: free day

day 5: growth | healing

day 6: third wheeling | double date

day 7: rivalry | second chances

All entries will have to focus on Simon and Nahyuta, of course: other characters are fine as long as the works revolve around Blackmadhi!

Feel free to participate as much or as little as you'd like: you can make something for every prompt, make just a few or none of them, one per day or both: the choice is yours! No need to stress out, we are here to have fun 🖤

Remember to tag as #blackmadhiweek2023 or tag this page to see your work reblogged here!

Explicit content will not be shared though, sorry! I want to keep the whole thing SFW!

As for writers! I will make an Ao3 collection for you, which will also be Blackmadhiweek2023 🖤 Don't forget to submit your wonderful works!!

And that's pretty much it! If you have any questions, feel free to reach out through asks, twitter DMs or send me a message @l3onart !

@aafancalendar thank you!

[aro-aizawa]

me, whenever i figure a plot twist in a 20 year old anime: oh wow i am SO big brained rn i am such a genius

me, two minutes later, conpletely blindsided by a major plot twist:

[a-mel0n]

This stupid "Your Name" Bucktommy AU won't leave my brain, and while I don't have enough faith in my writing skills to actually write the damn thing (and it would be my first fanfic... ever?? and that's a project that seems a bit too big for me lmao), I DID write down what I'm picturing some of the "rules" Buck and Tommy have for each other while in the other's body. Mostly just for fun. (Because Tommy would be switching in 2006, the iPhone does not exist yet, so all of his notes are written in an actual physical journal. All of Buck's notes would be on the Notes app of his phone)

TOMMY: 1) Evan, stop running into burning buildings when you don’t have to while in my body. If I wake up in a hospital bed for the fifth time this month, I might actually lose it.

its part of the job to save as many ppl as possible. also u don’t even feel the pain when i get injured in ur body.

You’re right, I don’t. Unfortunately, the pain from having a wooden beam fall on you doesn't just magically go away when we swap. Just... be more careful? Please?

fine. i’ll try and keep ur hospital visits to a minimum.

2) Can you stop flirting with people on calls? Or at the very least give them your number and not mine? In the last week alone my contact list has nearly doubled because you keep giving people my number. 

dude its not my fault you’re more popular while i’m you. just think of it as me being ur wingman! how u dont have a girlfriend is beyond me btw. hot chicks love firefighters and ur a good looking dude

Jesus Christ, Evan. For the last time, I’m single by choice.

3) Don’t shower while in my body

already dont

4) Don’t go to the bathroom while in my body 

done

5) In fact, unless you’re at work, don’t change any of my clothes while in my body. 

fair

6) Do you really need to spend so much of my paychecks on cooking supplies? I have enough pots and pans already. 

whats the point of a pantry if its half empty. be thankful ur getting actual food now via my leftovers instead of the utter tragedy that was the state of ur fridge when we first started swapping places.

7) Don’t make a scene while at work. 

your boss sucks ass and his stupid orders are going to get people killed. im not gonna listen to him if hes making bad calls while lives are on the line

Evan.

8) Don’t pick up the phone when my dad calls.

got it

BUCK: 1) quit going to eddie’s basketball pickup games. he keeps inviting me while i’m in my own body and its getting harder and harder to come up with excuses as to why i can’t go. it's kinda awkward.

I thought you’d be more grateful, Evan. You’re the coolest guy on the court when I’m you. 

2) are you making movie references when ur me? bc chim keeps asking when i got so “cultured” and the other day maddie asked when i watched the princess bride. 

You haven’t seen the Princess Bride? I’m leaving you a surprise for tomorrow. Check your couch when you wake up. 

did you spend my OWN money on a dvd??? i don’t even own a dvd player. i own every streaming service imaginable.

3) keep the finger guns to a minimum?? idk why you do them so much but both hen and chim have said smth abt it

4) if u get a call from someone called connor or kameron on my phone just let it go to voicemail its personal stuff and i'll deal with it

Evan, you could have told me you agreed to be a sperm donor yourself. Finding out because Connor and Kameron showed up at the fire house was more of a shock than finding out over these memos would have been. 

they did what?????

5) don’t talk to my parents

Done.

6) No rule about undressing? 

dude idc. i’m not gonna stop you from taking a piss in my body if u need to. as long as you like. don’t have sex with someone while you’re me? oh wait hang on i DO have a rule about undressing

7) DON’T HAVE ANY RANDOM HOOK UPS IN MY BODY. 

Wasn’t planning on it, but good to know. 

[shukakumoodboard]

Hi bestie, popping in to say I love your writing and TGoD and if you're ever in the mood for an excuse to infodump about it and your language hcs I'm listening intently (no pressure tho ly bye)

bands! im feral about your artwork. /points imperiously draw more horny stuff!

pleas im beggign yuo

ok screaming crying frowing up listen i'll yammer about tgod all day because it means im not trying to write it what who said that

some fun facts about tgod:

it was like the second fic idea i ever came up with! i actually thought of it even before fight club but fight club started flowing first so i shelved it, and i'm glad i did because i feel like my fight scenes are so much better now. it was just too intimidating of an idea for me at first since back in 2022 i hadn't really written much fanfic ever

something i'm trying to do with both gaalees in characterisation with this fic is make them both sooooo gd awkward. like true cringefail at all hours. lets be so real do we all really think a former beast vessel turned president and a dude in a spandex suit and legwarmers are anything but so weird?

in particular i really REALLY wanted there to be two things: 1) the dichotomy of violent/inexplicably suave/hron hron baguette drunk lee versus nervous/awkward/insecure sober lee, and 2) sabaku no bloody social skills gaara. i hope that's coming across ok!

ok the language headcanons! i fully and unapologetically plagiarised all my headcanons from luna_lee on ao3 [@sagemoderocklee] who has so many incredible fics jfc but to expound on tgod specific ones

nishitsuchigo as a name breaks down into nishi 西 which according to google means west, tsuchi 土 which means soil, and suffix -go which i yoinked again from luna_lee lol

i originally designed this to be 6 chapters and thought it would be 60k? but my life is a joke and i'll probably crack 80k because i have to make an entire chapter of sexfucking and then an epilogue for Resolution sparkle sparkle

totally unrelated: the next chapter is porn god fucking Bless

don't expect it soon though i have no free time until like december

as a thank you for this question, behold! some fuckign stupit and some foreshadowing to gaara's next social blunder

[amethystfairy1]

(Buckle up, this is gonna be a long one.)

Hi! Hello! How are you? :]

Let me just say, your work is simply incredible.

I've been binge-reading your TTSBC series for a few days now, as you can probably tell from all the kudos (you deserve them!), and I have been going crazy

First of all, I think this was the first Hermitcraft ship fic I've read. Conclusions/thoughts;

1) You've made me a flower husbands fan, great job, I am now obsessed with them

2) the relationship between Scott and Martyn is so precious to me, you have no idea

3) I am now a fan of ALL the relationships you've written; flower husbands, treebark, desert duo, Tango/Zed, Lizzie/Joel, Shelby/ Katherine, Etho/Doc (I hope I didn't forget anyone)

4) PEARL IS A MENACE AND I LOVE HER. SHE IS MY FAVOURITE, YOU HAVE NO IDEA. She is the big sister™ and she is the best

5)Scar is a sweetheart and that is a FACT. HE WAS SO SWEET TO CUB?? AND TO GRIAN?? I LOVE HIM

6) I absolutely love mom Cleo, her and Bdubs are so kind and thoughtful and caring to each other, I will simply explode

7) KATHERINE STRAIGHT UP JUST SAID "nope" AND WENT BACK TO THE UNDER-CITY

8) I need more Scott as a journalist. I need to see his hunger to get all the details. I need to see him use his silver-tongue skills on someone, and I need to see Jimmy(or anyone) be scared but also fascinated. I need to see more Scott and Pearl fighting for the best interview.

I don't even watch cc!Scott, and now look at me. Im obsessed with his character.

9) PESKY BIRDS BEING LITTLE WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER I WILL CRY TEARS OF JOY. SMALL BDUBS?? CHILDREN ARE SO CUTE

10) I also,,, kinda,,, want to see someone react a bit badly to seeing their partner being from the under-city. Maybe,,, Martyn being angry with being lied to? Maybe,,, Scott screaming at him that what he's doing is helping no one? Maybe, maybe,,,,

(im secretly an angst-girlie at heart, what can I say. I love me some good hurt/comfort)

11)JOEL AND LIZZIE'S BACKSTORY IS ALL I NEEDED IN LIFE, I CAN NOW DIE HAPPILY

12) please let zed and tango have a happy ending pleasepleasepleasePLEASEPLE-

13) also the titles have all been so cool! I saw a post of yours that said you use terms of endearment, and I thought that was really cute :)

14) SOUP GROUP

In conclusion, I am crazy for your work, please feed us more.

To show you how crazy I've been over this series;

I went completely nuts, explaining to my friend some basics about it the moment I was sure I've read everything, and Im probably gonna make them read it too. I've already sent them the link to the series.

They are not even a Minecraft fan. They don't know what Hermitcraft is.

Anyway, this was all to say; you're amazing, your work is truly fantastic, your writing style is one of the best I've ever seen/read (and I've read a lot of fics, do not doubt me)

Please don't feel forced to write anything I've said! I'm just throwing ideas that came over my head when reading!

(your traveling thieves series is also amazing! Im just currently full of ttsbc thoughts rn, its eating me alive /pos)

Hope my spam liking was not annoying!

Have a great day!

:D

It was not annoying in the SLIGHTEST!

Hello hello, thank you, thank you! I'm so glad TTSBC has been so enjoyable for you and that you've had fun binge reading all of it!

I am delighted and honored to be the first author you've read that has written Hermitshipping and that you've enjoyed it and it's caused you to love all my ships! That's a great day for a fanfic author!!!

FLOWER HUSBANDS ARE MY FAVORITE! More people who like Flower Husbands? HAPPIER I AM! It is a DIRECT correlation!

Someone commented at some point that they reminded them of drunk girls comforting each other in the bathroom after a party, and I think that's exactly accurate 😆

YES! ALL THE SHIPS!

Pearl is the Big Sister ™️ of the group and if anyone hurts any of her little siblings it is game over!

Scar is SUCH a sweetheart in this AU! He's a superhero, he's a boyfriend, he's a best friend, he's a professor, and he's just doing his best to juggle it all!

Zom-Mom and Sentient Glowstick. Only the best combo!

Katherine said "Wait crap I think that was the love of my life!" and dove back in!"

Journalist Scott will be making a return in several pieces of the future, don't you worry! We'll get to see him strut his stuff! I'm very glad I've gotten you to love c!Scott even if you don't watch cc!Scott, that's just the best!

PESKY BIRRRRRRRBS!

ooooo there's an angsty take. Hm. Well, there is certainly more angst on the docket for everyone, I assure you, and while I can't promise that brand of angst in particular, there is other stuff left to unpack! Please look forward to it!

JOEL AND LIZZE! BUTTERFLY AND CAT LADY! MARRIED FOR OVER A DECADE AND RUNNING A BAKERY! ADORABLE!

Zedango will return! That is all I shall say!

I'm so glad you like the titles! I think it's very cute but I have to admit I'm starting to struggle to come up with terms of endearment I haven't used before 😆

SOUP GROUP

I'm so glad you're trying to get your friend into TTSBC! The nice thing is I don't think it's too terribly difficult to spring into without context of watching any of the CCs because the characters all pretty much explain themselves within the AU. Maybe looking up some fanart for what everyone ought to look like, but it's not the worst thing!

Glad to hear you also like Traveling Thieves! I was gonna point you that way when you said you were an angst girlie so good that you're already there!

Thanks so much for coming by! 💖

[sxfterhearts]

omg chat why is writing kinda hard???

ok so this is a bit of an aside (warning: this post is long) but @348kg and i talked about this and honestly writing fanfics is a way for us to express ourselves creatively while using our idols as inspo for our work. and it’s fun most of the time.. but like honestly, 70-80% of the time, writing is hard. it’s not easy, like… it’s actually quite hard work.

and i know everyone has seen posts of like “pls reblog instead of just silently reading” or “pls like at least to show your appreciation” etc etc etc and ur probs sick of hearing it but like, it’s so true???

writing is honestly hard. and for most of us fanfic writers.. im sure you know but we have lives outside of our blogs. we are students, or we work normal jobs, we have life responsibilities, we have problems to deal with, and yet somewhere in between our busy lives we manage to find the time to sit down and create these pieces of writing for you, the reader, to read.

and tbh, i don’t really know where im going with this? i just want to let you know this: a typical 1-2k words one-shot probably takes me around 2-3 hours to write (on average, on a good day - sometimes longer or shorter). but it takes you maybe 10-15 mins, at most 30 mins to read depending on your reading speed. isn’t the time gap a little wild 🫠 on a typical work day, i get home from work at about 6, i cook myself dinner and eat, i shower and clean up, and if i know im writing that night, i make sure to clear my schedule (ie no overtime, no phone calls to friends or parents etc) and i sit on my laptop and write from about 10ish to about midnight. then i pause and i edit, and set things up to get ready post (think: pictures, title, word count, writing the warnings, summary, doing the tags) and by the time i post, it’s probably 1am.

i breathe a sigh of relief because it feels good! it feels really good to release my labour of love (literally) out into the world. and honestly, you know who you are, but those of you who constantly read and reblog my work, i see u!! (Alexa play i see u by p1harmony) and those who leave comments or reviews in the tags, i also see u (that’s why i like to reblog and respond to your tags too)!! it honestly brings me so much joy when someone comes and talks to me about something i wrote and how it made them feel. or even when someone recommends a fic i wrote. all these things that are so little and take so little of your time actually mean so much to me and im sure other writers as well.

and so i guess what im trying to say to everyone is: if you are a fic reader, if you read any fics, i just want you to know that the fic you loved reading took the writer a lot of resources to write (brain power, creativity and importantly time). i hope this gives u an insight into the process of a writer/writing a fic because im hoping it might help with whether or not you decide to hit that like or reblog or comment button in the near future!!

(also, i think it’s a shame that as writers sometimes we have to compromise on what we actually want to write vs what to write to get more engagement, likes, rbs etc. personally i have been writing on tumblr since 2020 on and off so ive been on here for four years now and i have a good sense of what is a good formula for a “successful” fic - usually it’s smut, usually it’s for the most popular member in terms of fic reading, and usually it’s of a certain length posted around a certain time etc etc. but i guess i don’t rly care anymore bc im a kinda old tumblr writer who isn’t bothered about the notes as much as i am just grateful for the little comments people send me saying that what i wrote made them feel seen or resonated with them. cos i think that is priceless 🥹)

PS. in no way am i complaining about the engagement or lack thereof that i personally get, nor am i complaining about the mere fact that writing is hard bc yes i am aware that i wanted to write in the first place and so it was my decision haha

[isa-ghost]

getting sentimental over you in public but thank you for being like. my biggest supporter with joining the qsmp fandom :)) publicly blaming uou for my brainrot bcyou helped explain things to me so clearly which made the daunting feeling of Oh God A Year Of Content not as daunting.

and with the animatics dude you’re :((( you’re so encouraging with me when i have literally no clue what im doing AJDJDN thank you so much <3

(im also actually CHATTING im a CHATTER now bc i know YOURE a chatter i went in pegs all by myself the other night it was crazy)

MASONNNNNNN 💚💚💚

Dude only veteran isa-ghost followers will understand this but AMFMN has been some of the most fandom fun I've had since collaborating with our best friends to make the Bunker AU.

I've never written fanfic before, only OC writings, which you know abt ofc, and the fact that this is my FIRST ONE EVER and you made an animatic for it BEFORE CHAPTER 2 EVEN DROPPED?? Insane. I can't wrap my head around it. The fact that I was one chapter in and you and @bunchofdoodlesinspace already made fanart for the fic??? I shit you not, hugely responsible for me plotting out over 10 fucking chapters of this fic. I didn't expect to make this a long fic but here we are and I am OBSESSED with every part of it.

And ofc I'm gonna be the most vocal supporter of your art, I've watched you fucking BLOOM and then some over the what, 6 fucking years?? We've been friends. You're on a level I wanted to be at by now for as long as I can remember, so everything you make to me is breathtaking and I love how experimental you are with what you do because my dumb ass is SOOO annoyingly particular and precious about my art and it's a nightmare to put up with. I love seeing you pop off in ways I personally haven't (yet?), it genuinely inspires me to take a shot at it some day when I have the means.

I've never properly infodumped to someone before because my friends have always been people who like the same things as me and already Understand(tm) so the fact that I not only got to be Extremely Autistic about my silly bird man but also coherently explained so much lore AND have resources prepared to further help myself explain & catch up a newbie is. So rewarding.

And I'm so glad I introduced you not only to PEGS but to the Freaks too because they are the 2 most welcoming and hilarious communities I've ever been a part of, in mcyt or otherwise. I've never felt like it was difficult to sorta worm into them, right away I felt like part of the whole. Literally will never forget the first time a Freak recognized me and greeted me at the start of stream without me saying anything to them first. I'm so happy to introduce you to the same kindness I was shown by them and to have someone to cherish it with.

I fucking love you you dork I hope I successfully drag you into a million more interests bc I love watching what it does to your brain and how that manifests in your art.

[n3ssier]

HELLO im bacc >;)))

So I keep lookin at your introduction post and fsr I CANT DECIDE WHAT TO PICK- I just wanted to ask like, can ya write a headcanon, but it has both Crypto from Apex and Ppl from r6? Im so super grateful that you didnt mind the emount of characters I requested last time 😭😭 i hope its bot a burden if I request again cause i kinda simp for all of the. 💀

You can just tell me if u dont wanna do this, or just scratch sum characters if its too many :)))))

Can you pleease write a ff (or headcanons, ehatevs ya wnat) where female reader LOVES hugs and is a generally super chill yet chirpy friend and as soon as she gets recruited, she becomes all friendly and tries to befriedn them and after like 1st day of meeting, she alredy sees them as her bestfriend and hugs them from behind as a goodmorning the next day-

Chars: Crypto, Echo, Vigil, Kapkan, Glaz, Jäger (Ik its all the same characters but I cant help my simping, also as i said you can not include whoever you want)

Ik its confusing and as I said before, you aint gotta write this at all💀🤚

ALSO- MOOTS? Saw that you needed friends so we can be bfs >:DD

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG :( ive had a lot going on and ive also got a job now so i have been short on time but finally got round to writing again!! i hope ya dont mind me doing some hcs and also only doing 4 out of 6 sexy men, bc i worry that if i do fanfics with them all then this will be a v long post bc ill get lowkey carried away😞 (also bc im feeling lazy rn, out here getting up 4am sleeping 12pm😭best lifestyle)

crypto

∙you two first meet on your second day on the job, and he is taken aback by how talkative you are (not in a bad way tho dwdw :)

∙the other legends don’t rlly talk to him outside of the gunfights/workplace so he just doesn’t talk to them either, which is why he was so surprised when you came up to him and tried to befriend him as soon as you’d met him

∙the pride he feels when you start asking about his gadgets goes unmatched, he tries to explain them as easily as possible but gets carried away quickly, leaving you a confused mess and him an embarrassed one as he realises how distracted he got

∙the next morning he’s making breakfast in the break room when he feels you hug him from behind, and he honestly is so tempted to put his hands on yours and stay there but he wants to play it off cool ofc so he just greets you and continues preparing his food

∙this is the EXACT moment he fell for ya

glaz

∙he never expected you to be so talkative or cheery when you joined, but he was happy nonetheless

∙will intently listen to you while smiling and give you facts if he knows any on whatever you’re talking about

∙you guys end up talking for like 3 hours just about anything, he’s kinda curious about you, and ends up asking you a bit about your life in general 

∙would make a lot of effort to help and teach you things, seen as you’re new to r6

∙when you come up to him and hug him as a good morning he chuckles before turning around to hug you back quickly and loosely

∙he could get used to this tho

kapkan

∙ngl he is annoyed at first when you talk to him for the first time, he finds the chat pointless, but after an hour or so he lets his guard down

∙he never realised that chatting with people was so fun until this day, or maybe it was just something about you specifically that gave him the good time, who knows !?

∙he honestly thinks ur pretty cute talking about all the random topics that peak your interest, asking him about 1000 questions aswell

∙when he feels your arms around him the next morning he freaks out

∙tries to push you off, as much as he enjoys it sadly he is too flustered and also not used to physical contact

∙he slowly stops pushing you away the more you come up to him and the more you are hanging round with him

jäger

∙when he first meets you he thinks you’re cool asf, especially when you strike a conversation with him

∙similar to crypto, he feels so much pride when you ask about his gadgets, its like a huge ego boost

∙you guys are sooooo chatty, talking about anything and everything, but make the cutest duo

∙you listen to his rambling and he will listen intently to you back

∙there is NEVER a dull moment between you two😭

∙the other gsg9 members are just happy that he has got someone to listen to him so that they don’t have to LMAO

∙when he feels you hug him from behind the next morning he is a little bit confused but happily hugs you back in return, he definitely thinks about it for the rest of the day tho

[cattimeswithjellie]

cant believe im just now finding out u have a tumblr⁉️ ive read ur hanahaki au fic soo many times now already and i sm in LOVE... ive read so many within the past idk how long ive been reading fanfics LMAO six?? years???? n this is 100% one of the most unique ones (the only one that tops this in uniqueness was the one where the character eventually became a literal plant and died that way and tbh i like this one more bc i hate mcd n heavy angst 🫶) n its SOO good its addicting every fic ive read hanahaki is ALWAYS treated as a super serious thing n while i love that idea this is the first time ive seen it be treated as just a light thing thst everyone goes thru (also the detail of the flowers growing in hair is soooo <33333) n its so great n i am shakign grian begging him to just TELL SCAR YOU FOOL (but also dont yet bc im a bit too in love w this story) waaaaa its so good!!!!!!!!!! i wabt more people to read this n more people to write lighthearted hanahaki aus and just 🫶🫶 i will gladly wait 6+ months for updates on this and look forward to them all the same as i am rn rhats how much i love this fic LMFAO (this is saying something bc i usually will stop reading fics if they haven't been updated by that long😓 i cant get into the email my ao3 account is connected to n i dont wana make a new one so i keep every tab open separately n try to refresh them every day n sometimes they gota be trimmed down yk?? 50+ tabs of refreshing is not fun or good for my phone)

(i am so sorry this is just a giant wall of text .oops 🫶 now that ik u have a tumblr expect this every time u post LMAO)

Thank you so much, what a lovely comment! <3

I'm really glad you're enjoying the fic, I'm having so much fun writing it! I love a good angsty sadfic as much as anybody, but sometimes you just want a little romantic comedy with low stakes and everybody being friends and a few embarrassing-but-not-too-humiliating Situations for a favorite character. And I wanted to write a hanahaki fic because the idea of coughing up flowers to show you love somebody is really, really funny except for the fact that it's painful and fatal. Take that away, make it uncomfortable and barely harmful, and a world of possibility opens up!

I'm hoping that We Could Be Sleeping in The Flowers will wrap up in two or three more chapters because I've already got the ending sketched out in my head, but I'm hoping it might encourage other people to give lighthearted hanahaki stories a try. I'd love to see what folks come up with!

[haruzen-ampy]

Missing Prisoner EP

Hi phighting fandom, I'm here with my first ever completed fanfic!

Alt. fic name: The Traumatized Eyes Under The Bright Visor

Word count: 2170 words

A few things to note: this is like half head canon half canon kinda stuff, im not good at writing, boombox is aroace here i aint shipping shit with him 🗣📣📣📣🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯‼️‼️‼️‼️,hes also ran away from lost temple to playground, and everyone in this fic is so ooc im so sorry

TWs : swearing, domestic abuse, implied self-harm

TL;DR: Boombox telling Rocket about his horrible past.

The sun sets lazily, putting down a soft peachy tint across the Playground buildings. The soothing evening breezes revitalizes two worn out phighters on their way home. Boombox: Hey Rocket, wanna listen to a fun fact? Rocket: Hmm? Ya! Sure,whassit Boom? Boombox: I'm actually not from here,Playground. I'm a Lost Temple member. Escaped their agonizing past. Rocket snickers: I dun buy it,yo! Yer height is lying for someone who "ran away" from Lost Temple! And I dunno if I could believe ya! Raises his eyebrows, Boombox asks: Then how many percent of you thinks that's true? Rocket: Like 50%-70% ish???  Boombox: Then if you want to, I'll make it to 100% for you. Rocket: Then go on den! Ya must have a long story to tell. Luckily for ya 'am free this whole evening!  Boombox: Hmmm... Where should I start?

A genius. A musical prodigy. "Someone who was born with musical talent". His childhood was showered with praises and cheers as his trophies keep filling up his shelves. His parents were proud of him, and he do,too! But who would deny he isn't talented, for someone writing and composing a whole original song at the age of 6?

Rocket: So ya are just flexin bout your past!  That isn't something to be mad of, agonizing, or traumatizing to you. And I'm jealous too, having both pa-

Boombox: This is just the beginning, Ket.

A stubborn, wild kid at heart. All he love at the age of 12 was his parents, his boombox, the arcade, this world, and freedom. Then time goes by, anxiety and negative thoughts creeps around. Night time you can hear him sobbing about every single thing to ever exist. But it's all natural right? As his friendships began to crumble, his grades falling, the time schedule and deadline piling high, or the phight practice was too rough to deal with. But as a Lost Temple dweller, he have to keep his expectations high.

.

.

.

-Wake up, sleepyhead...

-Wake up, dear...

-Wake up. 

-BOOMBOX CAN'T YOU JUST WAKE UP EARLY FOR ONCE!?

Yea. He blacked out last night from all the crying and making up tunes for his songs, but nothing feels like a burst from all the bore sound he makes. What day is it today? Sunday. It's Sunday. Yet his mom woke him up at six, due to one singular time he was late to school, earning him a phone call from the teacher, and leaving his parents disappointed. But that isn't that serious to the point his mom have to forcefully do it?

But that wasn't all his teenage pain caused by his parents during these years Boombox had to suffer.

High school was a nightmare. And it wasn't because he was constantly bullied, it was his performance and the teachers. It's either the whole class gets a low grade together, or he's the grand sacrifice and gets the worst grade in class, while everyone gets a much higher score despite he grinded all of his free time and training time into studying for those tests. 

Eyes upon eyes of judgements from his teachers, always so fixated on his behavior,be it bad or good.

And of course, messing around with the school rules means some kind of punishment. A new rule in this household. To the thirteen years old then, they are just restrains to keep him in place.

Rocket: So ya said you were shit at school right? That explains why your Phinisher was so simple, and the way you dive head first into the enemies just to wait for Medkit to patch ya up.

Boombox: I'm not that much of an idiot like you think, 'Ket. You may not believe it, but I could analyze when to do it and when I should refrain myself. I could differentiate a new phighter in the scene from an experienced one.

Rocket: mmmmm kay Mr Wisebeats, continue then.

Indeed. Despite his grade was so horrible, he can skim through a long essay and have a clear grasp of what it's saying. Besides, the child prodigy is still inside him. Damaged and tattered. But it's not ready to give up just yet.

Many of the articles he spent reading were about mental illnesses,abuses,and the most important ones are effects of childhood trauma on daily life. And maybe… that’s the first time he knew something he, nor his parents know. He was clearly damaged from every word his parents thrown at him in a fit of rage. 

“I love you,dear” can never cure him. And neither does “I always care about you.” At first, the child was crying streams of tears. Knowing he is being refrained from his usual stimulations. His tears slowly dry up. And now staring blankly at someone he was forced to identify as his parent figures. Because he was taught not to talk back to his parents,but if he can, it can be longer and more logical than everything they have to say to him.

He never heard a single “sorry” or “It’s my fault” from them. In this family, he’s the one whose sorries and fault spills out.

Food never tastes flavorless when they have a family dinner. He supplies them with his tears. The last to enter the table, the first to exit the meal. Because he got nothing good to say, nor does his parents. He wants to skips every feast they have together.

Giving the other a sympathetic gaze, Rocket asks: That sounds rough. Did ya have anyone to talk to then? Boombox smirks: I’ll give you a hint. Your beloved. Rocket: Sword? Fer realsies? Stop teasin me while you are dumping your own past! Boombox: We are just one year apart. If Sword and you can be together, then I could be his friend during those dull years of high school. In fact, he helped me with my epic getaway! he chuckles. “You can ask him after we’re done.”

Sword was pretty rowdy and reckless in his teenage years. And meeting up with Boombox as a senior was a spin of mood from all of the Junior High nightmares the latter faced. It feels magical. Sword always listens to him venting about his parents,how he hates them,and how he desires to run away and never come back,vanishing his bloodline away. Arcade workers never see one of them alone, and loud noises of trash talking with occasional cackles here and there makes the younger one feels better. Was it comfort that he has been looking for? They have many things in common. Yet the only thing Boombox desires was the freedom that Sword had. The presence of the older one made the green-horned demon know what to do. It’s either he has to deal with his parents, sooner or later, or those chains will ruin his dreams and ambitions.

But he also has another plan in mind if all fails him.

His room’s door silently closes. He despises his blinding and glimmering past sitting for ages on his shelves. But they cannot shine in this void of sorrow. Nothing was there except his electric piano, his blanket, himself, and his reflection staring at him the way he stared blankly, yet focused at it. His drafting compass was there too. …He hesitantly grabbed it. Thoughts racing around his head. Should he be doing this? Should he not? Maybe a bit of blood leaking won’t hurt. Maybe it does. What if he will get addicted to the pain and it will be too late to stop in the future. Will he regret this? clink. And the compass is now lying, lifeless in the corner of the void. -What were you thinking? No no no nononono no!!!!! Your future is still bright! What if Sword wakes up one day and you don’t again? You are not easing anyone’s pain. You don’t, and never want your friends to cry and bawling about you right? Please. You will find a way through this mess.

Teary-eyed and weary, he blacked out again. Hope is still glowing inside him.

-So this is goodbye then? -I think so. -Y’know, I sometimes wish I were you. Having guardian figures isn't even mortal to be bothered with normal affairs. -I guess…? Venomshank is kinda busy, so he wouldn’t care much about how I perform academically, nor my future job, or a partner. I’m not so sure your parents would be the same as him. -They said they want me to become a classical composer or a pianist, or I have to throw away my gear and be normal demons and doing 9-5 jobs just like ‘em. But they also told me they wouldn’t care about what the shit I will be doing after graduating from high school though. -Do you actually believe them? -... 30%. -Say, you have to sit through one more year of high school right? -Yea… but to be honest, I’m fucking ready to drop out of school everytime. -So call me when you have considered everything unbearable in this current household. We will be escaping when the stars are still here. -Thank you so much, bestie! -Eh, that’s the least I can do to help you.

What time is it? 7pm on an unusually hot spring day. His last academic year is about to end. He’s kinda glad that both of them haven’t argued with him for a week. Because apparently he hurted one of his parents as an act of self defence after one gets mad when he accidentally did not answer their call and spanks him.

“That should be the last thing I need to pack.” He thought to himself. Dialing a familiar number, telling the older one to ready to stand outside the younger one’s house,and get ready to roll when he signs he’s fully set up mentally and physically. He heads out of his room, trying to find his parents. They are out for some groceries. But they will be back soon. He knocks on his windows and open it, before landing on the ground and head straight into the taxi with Sword waiting for him. -Got your stuff with ya? Is your gear with you? -Yea, everything checks out. Where we heading? -My mentor's friend. He knows like. Tons of thaumaturgic shit. Normally he would use it to trolls others though. But I ask him to be extra nice to you and hopefully nothing goes wrong. -Did you bribe him with something. -What kinda question is that? I wouldn't even do that to a deity like my mentor! -Ya sure?Answer the question, Sword. -He asked me to buy him a massive amount of eggs. I'm motherfucking broke. Venomshank's gonna kill me for sure. -BAHAHAHAH- That's what you get from doing deals with shady deities! -SHUT UP,ALRIGHT? YOU BETTER BE GLAD BECAUSE HE LET YOU ALONE INSTEAD OF REPLACING YOUR GEAR WITH SOMETHING USELESS!

They then proceed to have their regular conversation with jokes here and there. The night never felt so relaxing, and the wind combs his messy hair which he would normally pull due to stress.

The Blackrock bridge is their destination. What’s Sword thinking? Or at least, planning? Does he really have to participate in a ritual for him to actually achieve freedom? The red-horned demon bends over to knock on the bridge base, calling for someone named Darkheart. Moments later,he greets with a seven feet tall demon, dressed with worn down robes and cape, a hat sits neatly on top of the gigantic demon’s head, and a boney, grotesque wing pokes outside of his body. Boombox felt chills running from his spines by the look of him. But Sword will be the one who do the talking.  After a small talk, the deity told him he’s gonna be teleported to an apartment room in Playground, which the said apartment owner will be dealt with later. Of course, he would ask about the legitimacy of it,but then again, it’s magic. They will totally believe it,... right?

Sword told him there’s someone he knows and friends with there, which he should check the demon in question out later.

Now he’s ready for a new life ahead, without daily shouting and threats from his parents. May the future be kind with him, for a soul that never tasted true platonic love.

Rocket: Wait, is that why you stumbled into Ranged Royale just to find me back then? Even we haven’t met? Boombox replies: “Sword gave me a lil bit of your appearance info to find ya. He said I should make some connection in a newer place.” He spins his phone out of his pocket: “We could call him to fact check right now if you want to.” Rocket sighs: Fine, but are you sure he’s free right now? Boombox: Sword’s online right now, I think Venomshank gave him a day off or something. Rocket: Alrighto! Call ‘im for the sake of verity then! 

And the evening continues.

[satorisoup]

SATORISOUP ABOUT ME!

hello there good fellows *smirks*

you can call me lene or just my username. im a girl and 17 years old (boooo). i go through a haikyuu phase after every breakup so… here we are.

#interests : haikyuu. gojo (moans) even though i don’t write about jjk. reading (yes i count fanfics on my phone as reading). writing (obv). makeup. skincare.

#fun facts : i have 4 cats (yes you heard that right, FOUR.) i plan on going to trade school to become an obstetric ultrasound tech. i have a tmnt collection of merch and everything under the sun (my hyper fixation since the ripe age of 6 years old LMFAOOO).

#favorite things : flowers. tetsuro, bokuto and keiji (my husbands real not clickbait). autumn. snow. rainy days. cold weather. christmas. cozy sweaters. sushi & barbecue ribs.

don’t be afraid to interact with me i promise im not intimidating!!

if you’d like to be an anon just send an ask <3 thirsts are always accepted feed my brain plz *drools*

[mejomonster]

I am trying to build a writimg habit. And Im fascinated to realize I seem to write quite well soon after I wake up, after breakfast and coffee

Its not... ideal. Since I need to stop writing at X time to start work or other daily obligations. So i cant write until the inspiration/motivation wanes, which in a good writimg sessiom might be 4 hours and 10,000 words. In the mornings, Ive pretty much got to stop at 30 minutes to 1 hour, or 1000-2000 words. Because thats all the time I have in the morning, on ideal days. So idk... still testing out if I could set up a afternoon after work before dinner habit instead, as afternoon to evening I can make time to write for 4-6 hours if I end up really into what Im writing.

Anyway. Im not a morning person at all so im kind of surprised I focus faster in the morning.

The other change I made thats helping, as far as making a habit. Is i am giving myself permission to write "anything, however few words come out, on any in progress story, including just story notes instead of a scene." Thats taken the pressure off as now I feel if i only have time for 100 words or inspiration for 100 words I will still START writing, ill give myself permission to write if i only have 5-10 minutes free if Ive got inspiration. And its been working fairly well? Half of the outcome has just been story outline notes, but thats more to rely on later. And the other half has been "later scene drafts" so while theyre rough and a lot of just dialogue and bare bones desxription, theyll make later chapters much less work. The only downside to this is by not focusing on ONE specific story, I may be makimg things somewhat harder for myself by jumping around? Idk. Result is MANY WIPS none finished. But progress on multiple wips so?

Also fun facts. This year Ive written at least 146,000 words. About 46,000 was fanfiction (which damn Im suprised by), some are wips so only maybe 30,000 of those words were posted on ao3. So the bigger news, for me personally? Is Ive wrote about 100,000 words of ORIGINAL FICTION THIS YEAR WOOH! That is a huge accomplishment to me as before this year, the most Ive ever finished was 1 short story of original fiction or drawn 1 chapter of a comic story. And the breakdown: 2 of my stories have about 30k written and are 1/5 done (which makes sense to me as I usually have been able to write 30k fanfics in the past and as long as theyre that short I generally complete writing them easily, and I apparently favor 5 arc story structure lol), 1 story has about 25k written, and 1 story has about 15k. So decent progress made on all.

[amnesiacsleepy]

I posted 964 times in 2022

That's 851 more posts than 2021!

60 posts created (6%)

904 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@superdog075

@starcloud-nova

@kittyacelia

@poopy-mamy-poko-pants

@amnesiacsleepy

I tagged 345 of my posts in 2022

#writing - 7 posts

#to me - 4 posts

#fanfic - 4 posts

#lmao - 4 posts

#mha - 3 posts

#tf2 - 3 posts

#no - 3 posts

#like seriously - 3 posts

#???? - 3 posts

#tf2 soldier - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#but no. it doesnt change anything about him. im pretty sure that it hasnt been brought up since that episode/chapter and it bugs me so much

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

this is so much work

4 notes - Posted April 27, 2022

#4

since tumblr took my goth rave color palette i have decided to make a new one and call it emo rave where everything is black. text. backgrounds. images. ads. its all a dark landscape but when you see the color of the sky post its not multiple colors its one single blinding white

7 notes - Posted November 14, 2022

#3

ok but like. cuphead's songs in the Indie Cross FNF mkd were ACTUAL BOPS no i dont take arguments

7 notes - Posted April 26, 2022

#2

An attack on @popfizzles character, Powdered Doughnut! The roundness was a bit hard to properly achieve, but I got it in the end.

27 notes - Posted July 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

#SaveTF2 - Getting Valve to Acknowledge this, Once and for All

Alright. I'm a day late, but what does that matter? I'd rather do this a day late than never do it at all.

Team Fortress 2 (TF2) is a game that I'm still very early in the learning process of. I've only been playing for a few months, and don't have even 100 hours in the game yet. And if things go the way they are, I don't think I will. Official servers are, truthfully, in an awful state. Bots are crawling in every one, and the only way to avoid them is to requeue like there's no tomorrow. There are new players every day, and I don't want to think that their first thought about this incredible game is "Wow, I can't do literally anything." It, to be honest, is heartbreaking to see this incredible game that has lived so long to be done in by this.

TF2 means so much to so many- and I so badly want to see why. I want to be in the era where it was consistently getting more content added to it, when cheaters were kicked instantly after someone caught on.

The bots are far, far worse than a cheater could ever be. They spam things in the voice chat, they can hit through walls, they have perfect aim. And even worse, most of them are snipers, meaning that then can kill you from across the entire map if you aren't careful.

I want to love this game. I want to see what makes it so fun, why people play it even over a decade later. I want to join the incredible people that make the game look so appealing, and I want to see the appeal behind it. But, with all the current flaws... I can't.

Valve has, to their credit, tried to do something. However, none of it worked. In fact, the things they did have only made the problem worse. Things like making Free-to-plays (like myself) unable to use VC/text chat. I can't even call for medic in an official server.

And Uncle Dane shouldn't be shouldering all of the TF2 community on Uncletopia. Uncletopia is where I spend most of my time when I play TF2, which hasn't been for a while. However, I can barely even do anything there because everyone else is just too good for me to get better at movement and tracking.

I can't get better because I'm fighting against people that kill me too fast for me to learn anything. I can't say that I love TF2 yet. But I want to. I want to love TF2 so badly. I want to enjoy what other people enjoy about the game.

I want to frag as Scout. I want to use incredible power as Soldier. I want to reflect as Pyro. I want to mow down the enemy as Heavy. I want to get a nasty sticky trap as Demo. I want to single-handedly defend the final point as an Engineer. I want to make a game-changing Uber push as Medic. I want to get an incredible chainstab as Spy.

I want to see this game restored to when it was at its peak. I want to build gamesense. I want to learn how to count damage numbers. I want to learn the flank routes. I want to learn how to trimp as Demoknight. I want to experience this game's full quality.

And I really, really hope that I can.

This is my #SaveTF2 post. I hope Valve gets enough to finally do something.

36 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[wistfulwatcher]

Hello I saw your tag on that "im 25 and dying post" please tell us how it got better for you. Im 26, still living with parents, currently having a fight with my boyfriend, and i still have a year until I get my bachelors. The comparison to everyone younger than me is killing me.

I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling, but I hope you can take some solace in the fact that that post has a lot of notes and you are absolutely not alone in feeling the way you do! I can certainly try and share my experience, but unfortunately I think the biggest factor is just time (and like, a buttload of self-reflection).

I moved back home after college and worked full time at an administrative job I was doing during school breaks. I majored in psychology and anthropology in college, and was planning to eventually go into forensic psychology, but wasn't interested in going straight into grad school. So I did that administrative job for about a year, and tried to find something that was a bit more stable and at least semi-related to my field. I did end up finding a new job when I was 23 - stable, semi-related to my field (a psych/research background was required), and decent pay (especially as I was still living at home). Exactly what I needed, since I still wasn't ready to start looking into grad school.

I was doing pretty well, until I started getting comfortable at that job, and then I started getting hit with the "I'm not doing enough," and "I need to look into grad school," and "will I ever find a boyfriend?" (friendly reminder that 23-year-old me thought she was straight, yikes), "how will I afford to move out, I have to save my money and do it soon!", "I'm not doing anything but watching TV, I'm wasting my life," "I'm lonely, but I'm too tired to try and make friends," etc., etc.

But it wasn't constant. I'd have a flurry of those questions and fears, and then days where I was just living life and doing my job and taking care of my dogs, without any of that. And I don't think I felt good or particularly comfortable those days, it was more like I just wasn't actively thinking about it, like when you feel "good" after a physical pain goes away and you're just normal.

Eventually, I started thinking about all of these concerns I had, and the fact that it felt like it was URGENT whenever I thought about them. It felt like I needed to get my shit together immediately. I also started to acknowledge that there was this big sense of guilt around those concerns; I was too old to be living at home, I was too old to be single, I was too old not to be starting a career. I felt like I was wasting my life (cue the guilt), and I realized that part of why I felt like I was wasting it was that I felt like I was missing milestones I wouldn't be able to do at a later time because the older I was past "normal" the more humiliating it would be to try (cue the shame and embarrassment, hard).

I also started to doubt that I wanted to go into forensic psychology. More importantly, I started to seriously doubt that I wanted a "career" at all. My job (as I kept that same semi-related to my field one) was absolutely a job, not a career. And I think this was a huge tipping point for me, because a career had always been a given in my life. I'm passionate about what I'm interested in, so it literally just never occurred to me that I would be content with a job. I also started acknowledging that I had some messed up associations about being content with a job meaning that I was lazy (because the only way to be ambitious is with a career and, more damaging, a lack of ambition is fundamentally bad).

Now, I need to clarify that all of the above occurred over the course of years. I was constantly seeing "friends" (i.e., of the facebook variety) go to grad school, start careers, get married, buy homes, etc. And with all of that alongside the entire mess I've outlined in the above paragraphs, it was really, really, tough. It gets hard to find a foothold in better thinking, I believe, when seeing all of these people (some younger) doing things "right" was really just compounding my guilt and shame. (I feel like it's worth mentioning, too, that I was always "an individual" growing up, march-to-the-beat-of-my-own-drummer, yada yada. I feel like that's worth pointing out for others who may be in the same boat, because I think it can lead to another layer of shame in comparing yourself to those around you - especially if it's a big part of your identity that you DON'T do that, because I think it's inevitable as you get older, and you're looking to reach these milestones that prove you're an adult.)

So, here I am, acknowledging that I feel guilt and shame about what I'm not doing. And suddenly I ask myself my first really important question: Do I want a career? The question hot on its heels is: Do I want to go to grad school? Honestly, my answer is no. There is nothing in me that's excited by the prospect. But what, does that mean I'm just going to work my job for the rest of my life? How is giving up going to make me feel better about Not Doing Enough?

As I'm opening this door (remember, years), three things happen: 1) I realize I'm gay, 2) I watch Dirty 30, 3) I start playing D&D.

First, realizing I'm gay. Woohoo! Not only was this exciting because girls are amazing, but it made me seriously look at myself. Realizing I had spent 25 years assuming one thing about myself that turned out to be completely wrong made me question everything for a while. I started to ask myself, "Do I really like this?" more often, which seems like a really obvious question, but I'm not convinced that it's one people ask themselves consciously all that often. But once I did, I realized how freeing it was to answer, "No," and move on to something I did like.

Second, I watched Dirty 30, the Grace Helbig/Mamrie Hart/Hannah Hart movie. It feels dramatic to say that it changed my life, but the older I get the more I honestly think it did. Mamrie Hart's character is a dental hygienist who is freaking out about turning 30 and feeling very much like that text post I reblogged. But (spoilers), at the end of the movie, she decides that she loves her job (job, not career!) because it's comfortable and she has fun at work, and that it makes her happy. She has other things going on, but the idea that a character in a film is content with her job and choosing to "settle" into her life as-is and she's genuinely happy about it? I honestly can't think of a single other time I've seen that happen on-screen. I still think about that ending very often. And after seeing it, I started to ask myself another question regularly: "Am I happy?" Again, this feels pretty obvious, but I think there is something incredibly empowering about making sure you are happy on a regular basis, instead of just assuming that you're fine until something hurts.

Third, I started playing D&D. This is not a plug for D&D! (Well, maybe a little.) One thing that happened to me when I started to get into the urgent-guilt-shame-confusion mess of my mid-20s was that I got very much into a routine of go to work, come home, sleep, go to work, come home, sleep, be totally brain-dead on the weekend, repeat. I found it very difficult to feel creative because I was just wiped, and as all of my creative outlets (gifs, fanfic) are self-motivated, it was really easy to brush them off. I ended up starting Critical Role (this is also not a plug for CR! well, maybe), and I wanted to give D&D a try myself. (I was VERY lucky - my best friend happened to be listening to the Adventure Zone at the same time I started CR, and she wanted to try to run a game. The stars truly aligned!)

I started playing, then DMing, and found that it was a great fit for my interests. I used to be a theatre kid, and I was getting to act again (something I didn't realize I was missing). I was getting to build and flesh out characters, which is what I love the most about writing fanfic. I was also discovering that I was stretching myself - world building and plot had never been my strong suit, but as a DM it became the majority of my creative effort. It gave me soft deadlines with people I didn't want to let down, and it made me truly social again for the first time since college. Essentially, it was filling in all of the gaps of what I felt lacking in my life. This isn't a D&D plug because it wasn't D&D specifically, but rather a hobby that satisfied what was missing in my life. For example, I didn't realize how isolated I was before D&D until I had regular interactions with friends, and that isolation absolutely made the urgent-guilt-shame-confusion worse.

D&D gave me that final push to realize that I was OK with having a job and being passionate about hobbies instead of trying to fit myself into a career, because I was getting out of that hobby what I had been convinced I would get out of a career. I started to really value that I could punch out and go have fun doing exactly what I wanted to do. (It feels so obvious as I type this, but it took me a long time to get here! Sometimes it really is that simple!)

The above is specific to my job vs. career struggle which may not be in the mix of things you're struggling with. But what I do think is universal/can be your take away, is that sometimes you just have to actively choose to let go of the pressure to be doing things. Which, I know, sounds so much easier than it is (and part of why I think it just takes time/is part of growing older). But I think it's something that can be worked at over time, by checking in with yourself about what you feel, why you feel it, and what you need to make yourself feel better in the present.

It's been 6 years since I started that semi-related job, and I'm still there. I still live with my mom. I'm still single. My circumstances have not changed since 24, but honestly? I'm OK. When I check in with myself about it, I do enjoy living with my mom and our dogs (even though I'm 30 and "real" adults move out). I am happy more often than I'm not (much more, actually!). I have a job that allows me to be done after 8 hours, and I have hobbies I look forward to doing each night (and the energy to do them, most of the time). My weekends are free to play D&D with my friends and laugh until I cry. That is what I've worked out as my definition of what I want life to be right now. You'll notice it includes none of the "milestones" that those younger than me have hit.

As I noted on that text post tag, I still struggle with this. I definitely have days where I think, I'm a mess, I'm not DOING anything. It's hard. But time does help, those days become fewer and farther between.

I know that was probably a hundred times longer than you wanted it to be, but I did want to illustrate just how much of a process it is. It takes time. My summary advice is to check in with yourself often, be honest about what you want and what you need, do not let anyone else define where you "should" be. And if you aren't living life how you want to be, identify what you can do (however small) to make yourself feel like you're getting closer.

[storyofpetals]

𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐈'𝐃 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 !

1. alias / name: magic!

2. birthday: october 8th

3. zodiac sign: libra

4. height: like 5′1″ i think. idk im short. :|

5. hobbies: writing, roleplaying, gardening, taking care of my fat chihuahua, magic the gathering, and video games~

6. favorite color: i like black because when you see a black object, it is absorbing the visible spectrum and reflects none of that back to the eyes--which is very interesting to me. aesthetically, i like pastel colors (blue and pink and purple) because they are easy on the eyes and pretty. 

7. favorite book: gosh, this is a hard one. i’ll just mention a few i really like okay? stardust by neil gaiman is so good (so much better than the movie alright). the dark tower by stephen king is phenomenal but i really need to finish this series--i love it to bits, but for some reason i never finished it?? good omens by terry pratchett and neil gaiman is hilarious. i truly adored the everlost series by neal shusterman when i was younger, it still leaves an impression on me to this day. and if you want something just fluffy sarah dessen books got your back--totally slice of life romance shit, but it doesn’t read like a bad fanfic. this woman has freaking flow to her writing and i’m forever impressed by it. 

8. last song: salt and the sea - the lumineers

9. last film / show: yall i don’t even know. i watch tv very rarely--mostly when my boyfriend wants to watch the newest marvel stuff--so uuuh loki? maybe? i watched all of that, it was alright. if yall do want something to watch that’s a little different, the kdrama it’s okay not to be okay (netflix) will kill your feels. i love that show. 

10. recent reads: a few months ago i finished the lord of the rings by tolkien. shit was amazing, that man had INCREDIBLE worldbuilding skills. you wanna see a world so freaking detailed you can actually see it? tolkien thought about every little detail in his world and his characters and you can see his love in every word. smh. i’m still impressed but i have yet to pick up the next book lol.

11. inspiration: hmm, i do have to have a fitting song playing pretty loud while i write (to me, it makes my post like a music video and i just string the actions together with words idk??). sometimes a new song will pop on and the vibes hit just right and i get a whole scene in my head, like a little personal movie, and i squeal excitedly to myself: i need to write the thing! this is why i post music so much, i guess lol. otherwise, life experiences also play a part and things ive read or watched recently that i can weave into my posts. a whole mix of stuff, i’d suppose?

12. story behind url: i like writing stories and i like flowers, so i slapped those two things together and this is what i got lol. also, i felt if i used a “petal” theme there was a lot i could play with aesthetically: lots of poems i could whip up with flowers in mind and tons i could do for the theme... and now i kinda like it? it sounds whimsical, sort of what i was going for here.

13. fun fact about me: I LOVE DOGS ok. i work at a vet and i handle a lot of them every single day... and i’ve come to the conclusion they are the sweetest, most wholesome creatures on the planet. a dog can seriously go through hell and bounce back like nothing happened. i see healthy dogs, happy dogs, angry dogs, sick dogs... you name it, i’ve seen it. and if you approach them in the right way, with the proper mindset, you can almost make friends with any dog you see (the amount of people that don’t know how to handle dogs tho is MINDBOGGLING). i make friends with every puppy i see and i treasure them just as much as my human connections. <3 

tagged by: @holyguardian​ (ty friend!)

tagging: @tsurugixbuster, @seraphicwept, @triggerxhappy, @floralcetra, @inmydrcams, @yumetohokori, @azure-steel​, @argentdivinity​, + anyone else who wants to do this! 

[logically-asexual]

okay i'm already procrastinating and i don't plan on sleeping any time soon so here we go.

☆ ✩ my personal ranking for every season 1 Sanders Sides episode. ✩ ☆

i think it's going to be pretty similar to @dukeofonions' but let's see if i find something new to contribute haha. i see you didn't include that one about Patton in the Big Game or whatever, so i'm not including it either xd. also i think i'm going to count Accepting Anxiety as one episode only.

edit: i finished and now i dare you to drink a shot of water every time i say the word spanish or a version of the word comfort and become very well hydrated.

#16 I'm in a Disney Show

(i agree with dukeofonions here) i always forget this episode exists. it was ok in terms of being happy for real life Thomas but as a Sanders Sides episode it didn't do anything. the sides were just giving their opinions but it wasn't very funny or interesting. also i'm bitter because it made me look up the episode he was in and i didn't like it at all. i don't know if i'm too old for those Disney shows now but Thomas was literally the only good part of it, everything else was really dull and boring imo. a waste of time.

however, Logan supporting clickbait is one of the funniest things ever, and i'll never forget it.

#15 Becoming A Cartoon

i didn't hate this episode but it was just .. meh.. you know? several factors contribute to this. one, i couldn't feel much nostalgia for Butch Hartman's shows because i watched them in Spanish, and everything feels really weird when they speak English, i don't like how my old cartoons sound in English. two, it was disappointing to me because we were all desperately waiting for Plot™ and instead they give us this short episode about nothing (oh how the tables have turned now it's the other way around haha). and three, i didn't like the style of the animation :/ their faces and expressions freaked me out, Roman's douchey face still haunts me.

#14 Way Too Adult

here i'm biased because i don't like Patton much, and i didn't back when i watched the series the first time either, so this video was a little disappointingwithout the rest. also it wasn't relatable to me because i am still too young and dependent on my parents haha. but Patton is funny and it's funny to laugh at Thomas' struggling.

#13 The Dark Side of Disney

i've never been a fan of Disney movies. i actually never watched Mulan or the Lion King or Aladdin as a kid, so meh. i liked the ending, though, it was cool to see Virgil have fun and be right for once. it does make me a bit uncomfortable because the way Thomas tries too hard with Virgil's mouth movements and his low voice reminds me of a guy that had made me v uncomfortable not long before watching that video. so an icky feel overall.

#12 A New Year of Lying to Myself

this video was actually kind of fogettable to me. i had a hard time connecting the voices in the song to the characters and idk. i don't love it nor hate it, just .. neutral.

#11 My True Identity

pretty much the same opinion as dukeofonions, again. it's a good introduction and it's good that it was the beginning of it all but on its own it's not very special. i think it's awesome on Thomas to have come up with such a clever idea, like choosing the dad, the teacher and the prince and putting them together and match them with thoughts?? that fit so perfectly?? it really is just very impressive when you think about it, that it was just a random idea he had for a short 5 minute video.

#10 Taking on Anxiety

i liked this video a lot because when i watched it i had recently been a lot on tumblr, and found out through relatable posts that i had anxiety. so watching this video was really fun and it made me happy to feel so seen, specially the intro when Thomas just talks about what it's like to have Anxiety and Virgil is so smug about it.

- ★ -

okay now that those are out of the way things are going to get hard... all the following i love with all my heart so i'm going to rank them based on the smallest things.

#9 Growing Up

once more, Patton isn't my favorite. so that's why i'm putting this here, plus the echo at the end askjhsahg, but i love love this video. i remember we were waiting and oh so ready for the angst of nobody taking Patton seriously. and we received!! i love that though Roman and Logan are antagonists here, they're both so happy about Thomas wanting to have a healthy life. and i just adore the way Logan admits his mistake at the end and asks Patton directly. my heart... also aw.. the nostalgia. i remember none of us knew how to spell Patton's name and were writing it in very funny ways until Thomas and Joan told us lol.

#8 The Mind vs The Heart

when i watched this video the first times i didn't like it much, because i only had eyes for Virgil, but later i came back to it and loved it. so taking that into account i'm putting it here. logicality was the first ship i ever shipped in the show because i saw a gifset on tumblr of Patton screaming "what do you know about love?!" and Logan "apparently more than YOU" and the caption said "MARRIED", and i thought hey yeah... anyway. i love them. they're both my dads since that day.

this video is so so so relatable and i love it. Logan and Patton are so much fun arguing and i love how they compromise at the end and work together. im reconsidering.. i might move it higher? no, fine i'll leave it here.

#7 Making Some Changes

this video was absolutely hilarious. i personally couldn't see it as the Sides still once they were acted by Thomas' friends, i enjoyed it more as that bunch being silly and trying to be the sides but failing in so many ways, while sometimes nailing stuff suddenly. i really don't take this one too seriously as an episode. except Joan!Logan and Valerie!Logan, my beloved... i love how Joan acted as Logan and their voice and that they kept their ace ring on.. there's a reason i had them as my icon for so long. and Valerie looks a bit (a lot) like me with the glasses and dressed in dark colors, plus she spoke Spanish and there's .. no words to describe the joy i felt when seeing/hearing that. wait i'm getting emotional...

#6 My Personality Q&A

when i watched this Virgil was my favorite side and i didn't care much about the rest lol. when i heard his answers i related to him SO much it was scary, and also his voice is so soft and it was all very comforting. it was also when i first starting looking at Logan with more attention, because when he brought up Big Hero 6 and Fall Out Boy and said he didn't sing and would recite it like a poem? it only took a couple seconds but my brain said "me" and never went back.

now this video is a little underwhelming to watch for me, most of the appeal for me was in finding out the answers, and also watching it when we didn't know a lot about the sides. now we know more and want to know more so it's not as fun to me as it was first.

i wish so bad they'd do another one, although i know it would be more difficult with a much bigger audience, i think they can manage and i just need it. the chaos.. the energy.. they all being so savage with each other, learning little random facts about them you didn't expect.. i need it.

- ★ -

oh boy top 5 here we go. the next three are practically a tie. i can't choose.

#5 Alone on Valentines Day

i love Valerie, and the idea of this video was perfect and so perfectly excecuted. every side just giving their crazy opinions on how to woo a random stranger, i laughed SO much. first with Logan speaking simlish out of nowhere? at that point i didn't know practically anything about the sims except that it was some video game and the whiplash of Logan going AYO and the rest killed me. then when Roman whipped out that dialogue in Spanish??? my life was completed. i've never felt more happy than i did in that moment gosh. just the hilarity of Roman's drama, the shock of them speaking Spanish suddenly like that, the absolute JOY of seeing a creator i like speak (may i say) perfect Spanish, the other characters' faces after that.. never been happier.

also the conclusion was so cute. Virgil solving the whole problem without wanting to. i loved it.

#4 Am I Original

i think this video speaks for itself. it was fun to watch them all do the ideas Roman had, plus Logan and Virgil nodding at each other, (i love them so much), plus the angst at the end of Roman's perfectionism, plus Roman's just perfect name. this video has it all.

i think Thomas posted it kind of late at night and i watched it at 7am in the classroom as i waited for my classmates to arrive and the class to start. (i usually was like 40 minutes early to school due to mom’s work). i had to contain my laughter and it wasn’t easy.

#3 Losing My Motivation

i started loving this video after a while, when Logan passed Virgil in the position for my favorite side. but once he did this episode was beautiful. it's so funny and i love Logan and Patton's dynamic so much. and the video also so damn relatable in general. i felt so seen with it because they named all the problems i have when procrastinating, down to Patton's vague explanation of his feelings, it's exactly how i feel every time i want to do stuff. and the plot twist! i can hear the dramatic sound effect and see how they all turn to Logan clearly in my head, and it always makes me smile. plus there's so much Logan angst that can be dug up and overanalized. i love to watch it over and over.

#2 Accepting Anxiety

this video was perfect. everything we wanted. we knew it was coming and it delivered perfectly, better than any fanfic done in the waiting time. the week between the parts was agonizing but in a fun way somehow. i remember precisely when i was watching part 2 in my living room. i screamed. and i cried, a lot. i was feeling terrible at that time in my life and Thomas was such a comforting presence and i can't begin to describe how this episode made me feel.

and later it is always fun to rewatch with all their different reactions to being in Virgil's room, the energy of that was on point. Thomas is such a great actor and the characters where just amazingly performed. plus it gave so much to talk adn think about, the idea of the rooms, lots lots of insight into the characters, foreshadowing, so much. it's just perfect i have nothing else to say.

#1 (for purely emotional reasons, ironically) My Negative Thinking

i think Accepting Anxiety is the best episode of the season objectively but my favorite is My Negative Thinking. because i love Virgil and Logan so much and seeing them argue together was and is great. the comfort.. i can't repeat that word enough throughout this post. it's such a soft video while not being overwhelming with Patton and Roman's outbursts. just quiet (mostly) and clear and with perfectly timed humour.

Logan my beloved.. learning spanish... helping me with my own anxiety.. and their debate was so good. and the fact that they were friends i- i can't. Virgil didn't think Logan liked him and Logan told him explicitly that he did and the casual softness of it i cant even. Logan is happy that he tried.. it's just marvelous. Virgil and Logan as best friends will always be my favorite pair, and their dynamic will always be what i strive for in any relationship i might form, with both sides silently comforting each other within their own limits and realistic perspectives. so nice.

- ★ -

so yeah. that's all. thank you if you read all the way up to here. ♡ ♡ ♡