#gabriel enjoyers rise

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale’s Analysis: Felix Fathom (The Shadow of Perfection)

I am a Felix enjoyer. I was fine with his introduction, and I was fine with his role in the story. And I never really looked too much into his stake in the story until we actually learn who and What he is.

(Spoilers if you haven’t seen it)

Felix is a Sentibeing, just like Adrien is. But he was created by his Father, Colt Fathom. Out of jealousy over Gabriel and Emilie’s child. Giving up his bodyguard in the exchange.

Colt felt his health decline and feeling as if he basically sold his soul blamed Felix’s existence for this instead of himself. It’s heavily implied there was abuse and that he may have even killed Felix by destroying his Amok once.

After learning the truth, Felix made it his goal to take the power that created him, so that no one would have to suffer like him.

Not knowing the details of how he was created, he first set his sights on the Graham de Vanily Rings. Believing they had the power he was looking for. He was dismissive of Adrien and looked to stir chaos, (in the episode, Felix) upon rewatch we see that Felix never meant to cause actual harm to Adrien, he only wanted a deal that would help him get the rings he wanted. Not caring about the people involved.

The next time we see him (In Gabriel) he has done more research and learned what the True item was that created him. The Peacock miraculous. And he had suspicion that Gabriel was the one who had it. So his goal, steal the Peacock. Of course, Felix failed to get it, BUT he did confirm Gabriel had it. Leading to his next plan.

In Risk and Strikeback. He saw his cousins vulnerability, and decided to use it to infiltrate the manor, while giving Adrien a break from his life. Perfect chance to get what he wanted. Of course Felix confirmed a LOT after that. Including that His Aunt was in a glass coffin. And thinking he got what he wanted, he left. Getting the information how to work the peacock and the peacock itself… unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. It was a fake peacock miraculous.

But as luck would have it, Ladybug showed up asking for Adrien’s help. (And Felix happened to be pretending to be Adrien) so Felix jumped at the chance. Getting ironically the Perfect power to get what he wanted.

And we see some hesitation before going forward with his plan… until he witnesses the death of the sentimonster strikeback. Being a Sentimonster himself, he knew he needed to go through with his plan.

And sure enough Felix trades the other miraculous AND the Ring he stole for the Peacock. The one thing he wanted to ensure HIS freedom.

But now that no one could Poof him with a snap of the fingers, his true plan could unfold.

The world of people that thought so little of sentimonsters… time for his people to rise up. Thus we get Emotion.

Felix in an ironic action Snaps away the people who threatened him. And actually does win… only to see the misery he inflicted on his cousin and the other sentimonster, Kagami.

After this Felix has to rethink his actions, as not all normal people are bad, and even with his power he can’t stand against Monarch/Gabriel now. As he revealed his hand. His chance was gone.

The only thing he could do. Try to help that Girl he met. Cue the Feligami. Because without a means to fight Gabriel and no way that ladybug or chat noir would trust him. He was SOL.

Until learning from Kagami that Marinette was Ladybug. Making her able to understand the situation. Someone that loved Adrien and understood Gabriel as a threat. She could hear his plea. He was convinced to trust her.

Thus, he explains the backstory to her resulting in the events of the finale.

___________________________________________

Now you notice how I called Felix the Shadow of perfection, in the title. It’s actually quite simple.

Felix is basically the shadow while Adrien is the light.

Adrien doesn’t know about the dark history. He doesn’t know Gabriel is Monarch, doesn’t know he’s a sentimonster, he doesn’t know about anything regarding his family’s past. Adrien only saw the good, the pleasant memories. All of that dark business is hidden, it’s in the shadows. That’s where Felix is. Felix is the Adrien of the Dark. He’s the one that learns the secrets, does the digging, handles all the grief and strain so Adrien can be the bright sun princess. Felix is the thief of the night. Even his creation was made with envy as the base emotion. Adrien was made of love, a bright emotion. While Felix of envy, a dark emotion.

Even Felix ending up with Kagami is fascinating because Kagami (her name being mirror) and Felix being a mirror of Adrien. It fits that Felix would relate to Kagami.

It’s also fascinating when we think of the promotional video. Felix was the original Chat noir, but before the show aired, he was replaced with Adrien. Only to then be rewritten into the show. He has become the shadow of his former self.

In the end, Felix couldn’t help in the final confrontation (ignoring writing choices) because he wasn’t one of the heroes. And Adrien couldn’t because he was left in the dark on all of the things he would need to know to be a part of the finale. Felix was the piece needed for the writers to write the finale as a final confrontation between Marinette and Gabriel. Because Adrien never knew and Felix wasn’t the hero of the story.

Ironic how both the light and dark were not complete and thus could not be present in the finale

[reds-ultrakill-brainrot]

Hii I been reading your works and they came in just in time for my ultrakill brainrot!!

Could I ask for headcanons of Gabriel's reaction to being told "I love you" daily by the reader? My heart craves the fluff

I am loving your writings btw!!❤❤

Until I Found You

reader saying i love you gabriel headcanons x reader content (read platonic or romantic)

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

- the first time he hears you say you love him he thinks he is dreaming. he freezes as the words leave your lips. at first it is easy to mistake this for an awkward pause, but mentally he is reeling from how casually you dropped this. proclamations of love were not uncommon in heaven, but that was different. love for the Father was a duty - your prayer and your service. your words were different, this was not duty nor holy obligation. he quickly recovers, passing off the reaction as a lapse of thought to save pride. the hand of God faltering to feeble words

- each subsequent time he falters less, falling into a choked acceptance, but the warmth and enjoyment he feels doesn’t lessen. he doesn’t mean to reply with silence, but he is not yet at a place where he can say it back. he would take a bullet for you, but he feels any words he could reply with are feeble in comparison to what he feels

- it’s a long time before he says it back, the longer it goes on the more he feels he needs to say. it grows to be a burning hole in his chest, flickering in anger at every missed opportunity yet scorching his lips at every attempt

- you receive an impromptu invitation from him to the gardens of Heaven, a promise of a beautiful view of space the bait in his well laid plan. he foreshadows nothing as he picks you up for the date, conversation pleasant if meaningless

- the gardens are all you were promised and more, the frigid blue glow permeating the forests of trees haunting yet beautiful. a crescent ring of white roses encircle a small pond, clear water reflecting the orange and purple of the sky. it’s here he guides you to sit down, entwined hands moving to face palm to palm

- this time when you tell him you love him, he replies. off his lips fall a cascade of words, praises of your character, your actions and your words. he proclaims your presence his rising sun, he bathes in your warmth and treasures every second of sunlight. should he find no everlasting life he will find solace in knowing he spent his time with you

- now with every proclamation of love you gift him, he shares one in kind

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

apologies for the wait, i’ve been chipping away at several requests. i greatly enjoyed writing this one, angry angel man is a particular favourite of mine. music matches and headcanons are open

[lyledebeast]

Men at Play: the Painful Middle of The Patriot

Whenever I rewatch The Patriot, I always complain about how much the middle of the film drags. I understand the middle to be the stretch that takes us from the meeting where General Cornwallis tells Colonel Tavington no more war crimes to the meeting where he reverses that order. This is the part where the militiamen are camping out, destroying supply trains, killing surrendering British soldiers . . . it's like summer camp, but with murder! The problem is that absolutely nothing that happens in this stretch of the film has much impact on the outcome of the war, certainly not the Battle of Cowpens, which is the last major action in the film. I suppose the militia is able to buy the Continental Army time while they wait for the French to arrive, but we don't see the French until Benjamin Martin's long-ass voiceover monologue that takes us from Tavington's death to the end of the film.

Rather than focusing on what the militia is able to accomplish from a military standpoint by working together, the film centers the personal bonds between these men, who are mostly fathers. It's less like a military operation than an Evangelical Christian men's retreat, but with murder! We've got Gabriel assuring Occam that they are fighting to "build a new world," possibly the most unintentionally ironic exchange in a film full of them. We've got Martin and John Billings reminiscing about their dog-eating past to get a rise out of the minister. Most bizarre of all, we have a conversation between Martin and Jean Villeneuve where the latter loudly describes his personal tragedy to justify his critique of Martin's ban on shooting wounded soldiers. The scenes that do not feature boding between Patriot men show interaction between the militamen and their families (except for Occam because this film utilizes Black actors like it had to pay them all Mel Gibson's salary).

By centering the relationships within Martin's merry band of family men, the film obscures the profound conflict of interest between the men's personal goals and their military ones. Their mission is to do all they can to keep the British in South Carolina, which means the crimes Tavington commits all fall on their families and neighbors. They succeed in the military goal while failing abjectly at the personal one--Martin and Villeneuve in particular put more effort into avenging their children who are dead than protecting anyone still alive--so why isn't military success the main focus?

That it is the main focus among the British characters may be owing to none of them actually having families with them . . . or indeed friends in most cases! A clearer reason, though, is that the British are here to work, even it proves to be "an ugly business." It's easy to see O'Hara and Tavington as the angel and devil perched on Cornwallis's shoulders, trying to steer him in moral or immoral directions respectively. Both have the goal of victory, but it means different things to them, and they pursue it in different ways. When O'Hara stops Tavington from drawing his sword on Martin at the prisoner exchange, he first reasons "If you harm him, you condemn our officers." I'm not sure why that works given that Tavington has just arrived and knows nothing of Martin's claims to have British officers in his custody, but when Tavington replies that Martin has killed as many (???) officers already, O'Hara holds firm. "He has shown no aggression here; hence he cannot be touched."

What follows is one of the best moments in the film for a number of reasons, but one I haven't addressed before is the role O'Hara plays. Even though Tavington pursues Martin again, albeit with his sword sheathed, O'Hara does nothing to stop him. The camera does not show him again, but it's easy to imagine the same look of smug enjoyment we see when he describes Martin to Tavington as "your Ghost" when Martin turns and leaves Tavington practically panting with frustrated desire. I'm tempted to evoke my beloved General Hux from the Star Wars Sequel trilogy here: O'Hara doesn't care if the rebels win; he just needs Colonel Tavington to lose!

But, of course, O'Hara does care about winning. He tries to restrain Cornwallis from sending the rest of his force after Tavington when he prematurely charges at the militia, and even after defeat become obvious to Cornwallis, O'Hara is still suggesting strategies to undo the damage. The last time we see O'Hara, he is again pleading with Cornwallis to do the right thing and surrender himself, but once again the major general's ego prevails. Cornwallis never considers defeat a possibility; his concern at the Battle of Cowpens is that Tavington will steal his glory. It is the same concern he shows at their first meeting (in the extended version) after the Battle of Camden where Tavington also led a premature charge. In two different scenes--both cut from the theatrical release, this one and the private meeting just prior to Cowpens--Cornwallis accuses Tavington of seeking glory and Tavington replies that all he wants is victory. I believe Tavington here. He wants to start over, and if his reputation is one that strikes fear into the surviving colonials, he can certainly live with that. It is Cornwallis who wants glory, and his projection of this desire onto Tavington leads to some devastating decisions on his part.

Ironically, because Corwallis's concerns about Tavington are so well-established so early on in the film, it is easier to understand his response than the utter shock and dismay of the militiamen when they find families they did absolutely nothing to protect killed on the orders of the British officer who has been targeting families from the beginning! Whatever military success they are able to achieve, they do so at the cost of their wives and children's lives, and it still contributes less to the Continental Army's win than the dysfunctional relationships between British officers.

[ladylilithprime]

Title: Diplomatic Measures

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairing: Sastiel, Sabriel, eventual CaSaBriel

Rating: General

Word Count: 5095

Summary: Sam Winchester was taking a Saturday breather to read just for the enjoyment of it when a pair of no longer dead Angels come calling with an offer he absolutely could refuse but doesn't want to.

Tags/Warnings: Post-Series Pre-Finale, Discussion of Previous Major Character Death, References to Past Trauma

Created For: SPN Pro-Ship Bang / @spnproshipbang

Author: LadyShadowphyre / @ladylilithprime

Artist: sidewinder / @hawkland

Read on AO3 | Official Art Post

ON A TYPICAL Saturday, or really any day of the week when the residents of the old bunker in Lebanon, Kansas, were home and not off to some other corner of the country on a case, Sam Winchester could usually be reliably found sitting in the bunker's library and one or more of the lore books in his hands. Sometimes it was research for a case, sometimes it was updating records after a case, but frequently it was just reading for the sake of learning. The Men of Letters had some fascinating research, as well as some terrifying research, and even the fiction books they chose to include were a lot less fiction than the majority of the human population believed. While Dean was much more comfortable spending his downtime in more obviously fictional media when he wasn't spending some quality time tuning up the Impala, Sam found the real fantastical to be just as engaging and, he hoped, more helpful down the line in their field of work.

He had just settled in with a book about faeries, privately wishing that he and Dean had had access to this book years ago, when the stillness of the library was interrupted by the unfamiliar familiarity of wingbeats. Given the wards on the bunker and the fact that the alarms didn't even flicker, Sam was able to keep his sudden burst of alertness from turning into true alarm, but he was still putting down his book and halfway through reaching for a weapon by the time the winged visitors spoke.

"Sam--"

"Hey, Samalam--"

The two angels stopped and eyed each other uncertainly as Sam processed what he was seeing, weapons forgotten. It was Gabriel, looking stronger and healthier than he had been the last time Sam remembered seeing him, standing with a self-assurance that Sam hadn't seen from him since that fraught confrontation in a mystical hotel what felt like a lifetime ago. Beside him stood Castiel, looking younger than he had, physically much like he had appeared when they had first met despite the more at ease posture, as if the years of hardship and Falling and being human had been wiped away from his vessel without touching the mark those years had left upon the angel himself.

And they were here. Alive.

"Is it okay to hug you both?" Sam blurted out, already rising from his chair. Even if they said no, anything that had two previously dead and newly resurrected angels showing up in front of him was probably going to require standing, but damn if Sam didn't really, really want to hug them.

Castiel was the first to open his arms, no doubt because he was the more used to offering and receiving hugs when it involved Sam, but Gabriel was quick to do the same. Two long strides had Sam close enough to hug them, one arm going around each angel and feeling the solid weight of them both along with the familiar zip and crackle of Grace just beneath the surface. Gabriel tensed up a little at first, but he relaxed surprisingly quickly, melting into Sam just as much as Castiel was. Sam let himself indulge in just getting to hold them both for a long moment, reimprinting the scent and sound and feel of them both, physical and metaphysical.

Eventually, when he had managed to convince his brain that this was real and both Castiel and Gabriel were really here, Sam made himself loosen his grip on the pair. The slackened hold drew twin sighs from the angels, and neither of them appeared to be in a hurry to pull away, so Sam made himself ignore that insidious little voice trying to tell him he shouldn't be forcing the angels to endure contact with him and let his hands settle on their shoulders as he drew back enough to see their faces.

"So, uh, in case it wasn't obvious, I'm very glad to see you both," he said, swallowing down the lump of emotion that kept trying to form in his throat.

Castiel's expression brightened, apparently glad of the verbal confirmation despite the hugging, and Sam mentally resolved to reinforce the idea that the angel was welcome for as long as he could be there. Gabriel's expression, however, underwent a rapid shuffle through several different emotions too quickly for Sam to follow before settling on concerned. "What's wrong?"

Sam blinked. "Nothing? Well, I mean, there's probably something going wrong for someone somewhere, but I don't know about it."

"That is good to hear," Castiel offered, glancing at Gabriel, who frowned.

"Nothing's wrong?" Gabriel repeated, glancing around the room. "Where's Dean-o, then?"

"In the garage giving the Impala a spa day," Sam answered, lips twitching at the smacked-with-a-fish expression that crossed Gabriel's face. "Full wax, leather conditioning, and detailing. I stopped listening when he started muttering about finding the tiny brushes. Did you want me to go get him, or...?"

"Perhaps later," Castiel said, when Gabriel continued to just stare. "While I am sure Dean would appreciate being informed of our renewed existence at some point, now is perhaps not the best time to invite the inevitable awkwardness and shouting."

"So long as you don't leave it too long," Sam cautioned, before fixing Castiel with a stern look, "And seriously, Cas, you gotta quit using 'I love you' to mean 'goodbye', dude. That was the third time! He's developing a complex about it."

"Kinda thought that would've been reason for you to go to Dean first, bro," Gabriel drawled, eyeing Castiel in a way that made Sam very aware of a second conversation going on beneath the spoken words, and of the way neither angel had let go of him any more than he had released them.

"The awkwardness of dealing with the aftermath of how I left things with Dean is precisely why I chose not to seek him out first," Castiel said evenly. "While I would hope he would know better than to misconstrue the meaning behind my words at the time, unlike so many of our siblings, speaking with Dean about emotional topics is... delicate."

"And will probably require alcohol," Sam chimed in with a sigh. "He's getting better about it, but then we're both still sorting out exactly how much of ourselves is really us rather than how Chuck wrote us to be."

They had already noticed certain differences. Sam still focused more on eating healthy and avoided certain foods, but Dean was less resistant to the vegetables that became increasingly present in their meals. Sam, too, had noticed that he had less aversion to baked goods, and had even managed to pull up some of Jess's recipes from the far corner of his laptop hard drive to start baking again. The grief was still there, but it bit at him less sharply without Chuck prodding the wound for his entertainment.

"So, you two had a reason to come find me specifically?" he asked, forcefully dragging the conversation away from that road for now. Castiel and Gabriel exchanged another heavy look, and Sam heard the faint rustle of feathers. "And I take it everyone's wings have been restored, since you flew in here?"

"We probably should have knocked," Castiel murmured.

"Guests knock," Gabriel argued. "We're still residents, or at least I assume so since the wards didn't kick us out."

"You're both still keyed into the wards," Sam confirmed, mentally shying away from the reason for that. No use unkeying someone who's dead, and no reason to put up anti-angel wards with Jack having promised to keep Heaven's business contained to Heaven. Which brought him back to why Castiel and Gabriel were here. "Animal, vegetable, mineral, celestial, or infernal?"

"What?" Gabriel blinked, just as Castiel said, "Celestial. Partially animal."

"Okay, then... human, angel, vessel, or nephilum?" Sam followed up. At Gabriel's slightly strangled noise, he added, "There's only so many situations that can be attributed to both celestial and animal, and intent to be hands off or not I kinda figured Jack knows Dean and I are willing to be on-call for the things that slip through the cracks. Technically."

"There should not be any further instances of angels taking human vessels," Castiel said at length. Gabriel grimaced, but nodded.

"Kid wasn't wrong about how skeevy and disruptive it is," he said, sighing. "While the practice was originally meant to allow angels to have the counsel of their vessel's life experience and cultural understanding when down here on assignment, that part of the deal apparently got deliberately forgotten when Mike and Raph started ramping up the early Apocalypse in favor of just using the human's soul as a back-up battery for their own power. Even the angels like Cassie here who tried to learn about human culture anyway didn't always understand what they learned. So now, any angels who're gonna be spending a lot of time on Earth get custom-tailored vessels. Ta-da!" he added, with an eyebrow wiggle.

"I thought you were a little taller than I remembered," Sam teased lightly.

"Just because you grew up to be a Samsquatch," Gabriel started, breaking off with a grunt when Castiel shifted very slightly. He gave the seraph an incredulous look. "Did you seriously just--"

"It felt both appropriate and pertinent," Castiel interrupted dryly. Returning his attention visibly to Sam, he went on, "As you no doubt suspect, creating a custom vessel that does not need to be sustained by a human soul but will also hold up to the strain of containing the essence of an angel - or Archangel - is a rather energy-intensive and time-consuming process. To that end, those of us who had previously maintained a lengthy and consistent presence on Earth were given priority to allow us to establish ourselves and create an appropriate orientation center for any other angels required to be on Earth interacting with people. And yes, I am aware of the irony of my being considered most knowledgeable in how to interact with people," he added.

"Don't give yourself so little credit, Cas," Sam said, squeezing the seraph's shoulder gently. "For having had to figure it out largely on your own with only what little, inconsistent help Dean and I have been, you've done an amazing job. And I'm sorry we weren't better help to you when you needed us most."

"Extenuating circumstances," Castiel excused delicately, no doubt not wanting to bring up Gadreel and Dean's complicity in the deception and Castiel's banishment from their sides. Gabriel was looking less than happy but unsurprised, which probably meant he had either been informed about the situation or was reading Sam's mind. To test that, Sam quickly cycled his thoughts through the latest of Jess's recipes he'd been looking at, which caused Gabriel to hum and Castiel to look abashed. "Apologies, Sam. Our current situation and continued proximity is making it difficult to respect your mental privacy as much as we all would usually prefer."

"I'll let it slide for now," Sam murmured, catching the implication. "You were saying?"

"Yes, well," Castiel's eyes darted to the side away from Gabriel before going back to determinedly meeting Sam's. "Part of establishing ourselves on Earth and creating an orientation center is finding appropriate human partners. To help keep us in touch with the culture about which we are meant to instruct our brethren when they come down." He shifted, and Sam felt the hand the seraph still had resting on his back curl to grip his shirt. "While the nature of this partnership and the accompanying bond is not required to be romantic or sexual in nature, I trust you understand why I would choose to broach the subject with you first before speaking to your brother."

"Um," Sam managed intelligently. Yeah, he could understand why Castiel might want to hold off on talking to Dean about something like that, especially with the mention of a bond. It was hardly a secret that Dean had issues with intimacy and commitment, and after so many years and a bored God making them dance around for his amusement it was safe to say that Dean's issues had issues. Sam, at least, had been "lucky" enough to be the consistently emotionally self-aware one between the two of them and so had less of his own psychology to actively question or attempt to rewrite. Hearing words like "partnership" and "bond" didn't cause Sam the same level of panic he knew Dean would feel.

Nor was it at all unexpected that Castiel would choose to come to them to form those bonds, however undeserving they might feel of being chosen. Eleven years was a long time for a human, and Castiel's perceptions of time and humanity had undergone several changes during those eleven years. His attachment to the Winchesters had also undergone changes, but had remained fairly constant despite Naomi's best efforts, or so Castiel had told Sam once. It didn't surprise Sam that Castiel would come to him and Dean for such a partnership. It barely surprised him that Castiel would come to Sam first.

What did surprise him was Gabriel.

"Hell, Sambala, it's not like I spent a lot of time hanging out with a bunch humans knowing who and what I am," the Archangel huffed, avoiding his eyes when Sam looked at him. "You and Deanmeister are pretty much the closest I've got to friends left down here. Sure, I could probably go out, find someone to hook up with, but whether I could actually open up to them enough to bond like that... At least you know the history I've got, and if you say no then I'm no worse off than before."

"I see," Sam mumbled. And he did see. There was a lot of drama and upheaval and tragedy in Gabriel's history, things that made it difficult to open up to people. Sam had been there for some of that history, or been there for the aftermath and heard the stories. They had a connection, had since that case years ago in Ohio where Gabriel had led a pair of experienced but painfully naive hunters on a merry chase, even tried to make friends in his awkward way. Sam knew there was probably a lot that he didn't know, but apparently Gabriel trusted him to know it or to let Gabriel share it in his own time.

He also didn't seem to expect Sam to agree, but had still been surprised by Castiel's presence when they had arrived. And neither of them had left, or let go of Sam. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Tell me about these bonds. I'm guessing there's nothing preventing you from having bonds to multiple humans if Cas was looking for me with the idea of talking to Dean later. Are the humans restricted to bonding with just one angel?"

"Kinky," Gabriel drawled, waggling his eyebrows again. "Looking to start an angel harem, Samnykins?"

"Not sure two really counts as a harem, Gabrielicious," Sam deadpanned, getting a startled look from Gabriel in response. More seriously, Sam went on, "Look, whatever your reasons, you both came to me and I'm not going to turn either of you away. I missed you both."

I mourned you both. Again, he thought silently, unable to push the words past his throat but still needing to convey them. From the way both angels shifted closer, he could tell they heard it.

"There is no limit to the number of bonds permitted save in the compatibility of all individuals," Castiel murmured. "Monogamy is a human convention meant for tracking the lineage of children prior to science developing to the point of DNA testing, and is quite unnecessary in our case."

"Cassie's one of the few angels I can even relate to anymore, and I already figured we'd end up sharing space," Gabriel shrugged. "If he can put up with having me around, I'm fine with sharing."

"We're figuring out a different way of explaining it to Dean, though," Sam warned, getting understanding nods in return. "Anything else I should probably know about this before I agree?"

"Look at you, learning to get all the info before jumping in feet first," Gabriel cooed. This time, his jerk in response to whatever Castiel did put him in range for Sam to flick his ear. "Hey!"

"Nothing's broken and the world isn't ending," Sam said dryly. "I don't actually have to make a snap decision based on limited available information this time, and I do remember certain conversations about angelic bonds. Eternal commitment isn't something you just jump into or we'd be having this conversation in Vegas."

"We still could," Gabriel pointed out. His shoulders slumped at the looks both Sam and Castiel shot him. "Okay, no, we couldn't. Your brother would break out the holy oil to deep fry us if he didn't get to attend your wedding."

"So this is more along the lines of a marriage bond?" Sam raised an eyebrow, glancing between Castiel's sudden bashful look and Gabriel's unrepentant smirk.

"Hey, you're the one who brought up Vegas," the Archangel said. Sam just looked at him, and eventually Gabriel rolled his eyes. "It's more like an engagement than anything, at least for us. I'm not gonna make any promises when it comes to you and Cassie, though, especially given how thoroughly entangled he's been with you and your big bro the last decade."

"Those bonds would have been broken with my death," Castiel pointed out without inflection. Sam felt the very slight tremble in his frame and squeezed again. "The entity would have wanted to ensure that I had nothing tethering me to life any longer."

"That just means when you reestablish the bonds they could snap back into place even stronger," Gabriel pointed out. He shifted slightly, and Castiel's eyes fluttered closed before going wide to look at Gabriel. The Archangel smiled wryly at the seraph. "Can't fool me, baby brother. That's the real reason you came to Sam first, isn't it?"

"Is that not why you came to Sam first yourself, brother?" Castiel responded archly. Sam was once again aware of another layer of conversation taking place between the two angels, like a static feedback against his nerves. To his surprise, all humor fled from Gabriel's expression as he turned very serious.

"I was always going to come to Sam first," he admitted with the weight of confession. "Dean's easy enough to build a rapport with on the surface, but that's as deep as it goes. For a real bond, it was always going to be Sam." Then, like a light switch being flipped, the smirk was back. "Plus, as volatile as the Dean Machine was last I knew, I'd just as soon wait and see how his psychology is gonna shake out now before I trust him to get all up in my feathers. They need a delicate touch, you know!"

As if a skilled mechanic like Dean would not have a delicate enough touch for an angel's wings. Sam kept that thought silent where it could be ignored by the angels as he rather suspected that it wasn't the capability of Dean's hands to manage delicacy that was in question.

And then the full impact of the implications hit Sam and he found himself clutching at the angels' shoulders to keep himself from falling over or sinking to the floor as his vision tunneled. He vaguely heard what sounded like a yelp from Gabriel around the roaring in his ears as strong arms hurriedly went around him from two directions. The vague awareness he had of that skittering electric Grace grew stronger, enveloping him in buzzing bees and crashing waves.

Is this another dream? Sam wondered, closing his eyes and holding on to Castiel and Gabriel for dear life as he struggled to push past the dizziness and the magnitude threatening to sweep him under. Did I fall asleep and dream you both back to life again and that's why you're here offering me everything I ever could have imagined wanting?

"Breathe, Sam," Castiel's voice rumbled close to his ear, and Sam struggled to obey, to draw in a deep breath that filled his nose with the scents of petrichor and sage and candyfloss thick enough to drown in. "You are awake. I am here. Gabriel is here. We are real. We are alive."

"We love you, kiddo, honest," Gabriel's voice echoed, just a little further away, a whisper of breath against the skin of Sam's throat where his shirt collar opened. "Not a trick or a prank or a goodbye. No obligation, no time constraints, no need to choose between us or anything else dumb and limiting like that."

Sam trembled. Swallowed. "Can I... can I look at you?"

"All you gotta do is open your eyes," Gabriel answered, but there was a note of confusion in his voice, like he couldn't understand why Sam would ask such a thing.

Castiel understood better, if the sharply indrawn breath was anything to go by, and his voice held a note of urgency when he said, "Take it slowly. We are at full strength again and will be considerably brighter than when you last looked upon either of us."

"Oh, sh--" Gabriel cut himself off on the realization as Sam's hold on both angels tightened and he let down his mental walls, all the shields and barriers he had built to try and keep his powers in and other beings out, then gingerly opened his eyes.

Bright was an understatement. Staring directly into the sun would have seemed dim in comparison to the brilliant aurora that filled his vision, a clashing kaleidoscope of colorful energy patterns that swirled and danced together and apart, contained to each separate angelic sphere even as they reached across the barriers to entwine together with each other. Sam squinted into the brightness as he let his eyes adjust physically and metaphysically, the tears gathering in his eyes from seeing and recognizing the way those tendrils of angelic energy were reaching out to him as well, not as an invasion but as a supplication.

They really, truly, honestly wanted him, were practically yearning for him, and yet still they were leaving it up to him to say that they were welcome.

"Sam," the glowing form to his right resonated with the sounds of crashing waves and trumpeting horns. "Sammy, hey, dial it back a notch, kiddo, your eyeballs are starting to smoke."

"Can we not 'dial it back' for him?" came the voice to his left that echoed with tolling church bells and screaming crows amid the hiss of rain. A moment later the harshly glowing figure to his left became softer and less focused and yet somehow more solid. Sam caught the flurry of color from his right before that form, too, became both more condensed and more diffuse at once, easing the strain on his eyes and awareness.

With that lessening of brightness and pressure, Sam became aware of the fact that his eyes burned and his skull was practically splitting open from the pounding headache. Quickly, he began pulling up walls and barriers, one after another, until he could look at Castiel and Gabriel again and see their new, chosen vessels with only the hinted afterimages of their respective halos and the shifting, rustling expanses of full-fledged, whole and healthy wings, Castiel's two leftmost wings brushing and entwined with the three rightmost wings of Gabriel's set, the other five wings reaching out to embrace Sam without actually touching him, a silent and intangible offer of their support and trust.

"Are you sure?" Sam mumbled, then felt like kicking himself. They were angels, a seraph and an Archangel, older than Time! They knew better than he could even begin to imagine what "forever" meant, and yet he still couldn't stop himself from asking. From making sure that they had really thought about this, being bound to him, for eternity.

"Been sure since Ohio, Samaluscious," Gabriel answered with a crooked grin that didn't quite conceal the edge of pain and shadows haunting that humor with the ache of a mystery spot in Broward County, Florida. "Kinda gave up on the possibility for a while there, figured I'd blown my chances sky high. I mean, even your phenomenal capabilities for forgiveness had to have a limit, right?"

"I trust you have learned better since then," Castiel remarked in a dry tone, the feathers of his wings rustling with smugness. "After all, you have not harmed or betrayed Sam or Dean as cruelly and thoroughly as I have had occasion to do, and if Sam can find it in his heart to forgive me..."

"Yeah, well, he loves you," Gabriel huffed, eyes darting away. "Even traumatized and half-comatose, I could feel that. Yeah, you did a lot of shit, but you also stuck around to make up for it. Me, on the other hand..."

"You were deprived of the opportunity to either remain or return to Sam's side," Castiel pointed out with that same delicate bluntness he had used to refer to his and Sam's shared traumas. "We cannot know now what may have happened if you had been afforded the opportunity, not for certain, but you and I both know well the pull of Sam's soul on those willing to see."

"Oh, yeah..." Gabriel all but purred, golden eyes slanting up through darker golden lashes to look at Sam. Sam felt his cheeks heating up with embarrassment at the literally glowing intensity of that gaze, more than aware that the Archangel was taking the opportunity to get his own peep show at what Sam kept beneath the bounds of his physical body, just as Sam had been looking at him and Castiel before. He let him look, figuring it was only fair, and tried not to fidget in discomfort over being so thoroughly seen, every sharp edge and scar and shadow on display, more exposed to his angels' sight than he'd ever felt buck naked.

"Beautiful," Castiel murmured, soft and insistent close to Sam's ear before lightly chapped lips brushed the stubble-roughened line of his jaw in an unmistakable kiss.

"Like looking at kintsugi marble given life and breath to speak its history like a poet to a lover," Gabriel hummed in agreement, leaning in to press his own kiss to the rightmost just of bone at Sam's clavicle, his nose brushing Sam's throat as he swallowed. The Archangel once called the Messenger of God certainly had a way with words! "Don't ever think the damage you've survived makes you less than glorious, Samazing."

"I'll have to work on that," Sam muttered, unwilling to lie to them and say he believed them, not when he knew he didn't, but more than willing to try now that he knew there would be no more divine puppet master pulling his strings to keep him from healing the wounds on his heart and soul. He took another deep breath and let it out slowly. "How do we do this, then?"

"So, I'm not sure what Cassie's plan was gonna be," Gabriel started, and Sam felt more than saw the shift of one golden-edged teal wing nudging up into iridescent rainbow-brushed black, "but assuming you didn't laugh in my face or something at the suggestion I was thinking of taking you out on a date. Nothing fancy or over the top, not this time, just someplace new to explore without the excuse or distraction of a hunt or a fight for your life."

"I, too, had something similar in mind," Castiel admitted. "Perhaps a walk through the woods that surrounds the bunker, investigating some of the terrain we had not yet ventured into the past few years?"

"That sounds nice," Sam agreed, privately thinking that it also sounded safe in case Dean came looking for him and didn't take the note he planned to leave on the table beside his book at face value. He hesitated, biting his lower lip in indecision.

"You can tell him we're alive," Gabriel said with an air of resigned humor. "Neither of us expected you to keep that a secret from him. Just say we came to you because we had a more diplomatic situation going on and we'll be around to catch up with him later when the time crunch is more relaxed."

"Nice and vague and plausible," Sam snorted softly, but smiled. It took a few more long seconds and a stern mental reminder to himself that they wouldn't disappear on him the moment he let go for Sam to unwind his arms from around them and pull away enough to scribble the intended note on a clean sheet of notebook paper. Making sure that the notebook was positioned nicely visible on the table with the edge of his book pinning down the loose edge of the paper just enough to keep it from flipping over without obscuring it, Sam straightened up and turned back to the angels - his angels, soon, and potentially more - and reached out his hands to them, smiling a little helplessly when they both immediately reached back to clasp his hands in theirs. "So, going on a walk in the woods outside isn't far, but if you'd rather fly us out there..."

"You don't mind?" Gabriel's eyebrows went up.

"Eleven years I've been around Cas, and known you for longer," Sam reminded him. "I never had the same... difficulty with angel flight that Dean does, and even humans have a thing about when a limb that was broken is finally healed and useable again we can't help but want to use it a lot."

"Fair enough," Gabriel nodded, then looked at Castiel. "You lead. Since you suggested the woods, I bet you know just where to start."

"I promise not to drop you," Castiel deadpanned, smirking when Gabriel actually groaned.

"This is the thanks I get for restoring your memories," he lamented, shaking his head theatrically to Sam's amusement. Then he smirked, stepping closer to Sam's side. "I'll just hold on nice and tight to Sammykins here, since I know you won't dare drop him in a frozen ravine."

"Of course not," Castiel said in an affronted tone as he settled himself against Sam's side in mirror to Gabriel. "It's summer, after all."

A strong beat of dark wings, a twist of celestial energy, and the three of them disappeared from the library, leaving only the echo of Sam's laughter to mark their presence.

-End-

[sweetcloverheart]

Clover Rants Miraculously: Death Penalty

Look, I need people to understand that my issue with Gabriel dying isn’t simply just that it lets him avoid all consequence to his actions, but that it’s not a good consequence in general in the face of all the crimes he’s committed.

From season 1 to now, Gabriel has emotionally manipulated children for his own ends, arranged for former friends to be harassed or embarrassed so he can use them, has abused and isolated his own son, had a young girl re-orphaned by having her guardian murdered, put the entire world in jeopardy with nukes, had the city (families, children, his own son) placed in peril as the monsters he created destroyed everything in their path, taken advantage of people when they’re at their lowest and most vulnerable, led to his closest ally near killing herself with the same “illness” that took his wife, gave a manipulative young girl free access to his son despite the boy’s clear discomfort and threw her away when she was no longer of use, threatened his nephew and mistreated his sister-in-law, teamed up with a cult and arranged to use his own child as a bargaining chip, abused the magical creatures under his control, and ruined the lives of his son and said son’s girlfriend as they basically sacrificed their childhoods to fight him, and who knows who else that suffered from his rise as Hakwmoth/Monarch - and the only “punishment” he gets is peacefully dying of the magic-induced wound that was already killing him anyways while he gets everything he was mistreating his son and tormenting the city for.

“But he dies! He won’t get to enjoy the result of his wish!”

Doesn’t matter, he still won and got what he wanted in the end, and with no cost to himself or his legacy. He got to peace out knowing his son’s going to live the rest of his life thinking his father was a hero instead of the monster he let his grief twist him into and that the truth of his crimes will never see the light of day thanks forcing the young girl he tricked into thinking he was actually turning over a new leaf into keeping her mouth shut for “his son’s sake”. That sounds strangely like “enjoyment” to me. How do you look at the show practically bragging about how Gabriel all but defying his wife’s final wishes and making a mockery of Marinette wanting to help him find a better/safer way to save her is “good actually” with turning Paris into a “Utopia” and having him being thanked for it with a statue and think he’s in any way being “punished”.

(I would compare this to some those Superman continuities Lex Luthor gets heralded as a hero and avoids consequences thanks to his status as a billionaire, but at least in those, Lex doing that is portrayed as wrong/a tragedy (unless he’s actually on the heroes side in those runs, and even then he still faces some pushback for his past actions)).

“So what punishment would be fitting for you then?”

One where he has to face what he’s done; I wanted Gabriel to have to confront his son (and wife maybe) with how low he sunk, I wanted Gabriel to be faced with the lives he ruined in pursuit of his selfishness, I wanted Gabriel to realize he sacrificed so much for nothing, and most of all - I wanted Gabriel to not get what he wanted, especially not as a result of spitting in the face of Marinette’s mercy. Whether or not he lived at the end, I at least wanted to see him not be rewarded for all the damage he’s done and the lives he ruined, because rewarding your villain (especially one that is as onscreen abusive as Gabriel) for their crimes is just...no. That’d be like if the original starwars trilogy had Han defeat Vader and then be told to lie to Luke and Leia about what a kind and good soul he always was before he uses the darkside of the force to undo the making of the empire and bring Padme back.

There are ways to pull the “Villain dies/sacrificed himself for his goal”, and "Recreation” was not it. Frankly, I would have preferred the doing what was done in HZD at the end of the “Promontory” mission with the brain and fist choices (start at 1:58)

[pers-books]

The 2024 Shortlist

The BBC’s 13th Annual Celebration of Audio Drama

2023 marked the centenary year for audio/radio drama at the BBC. For 100 years of this unique genre, audio drama and comedy have provided enjoyment, diversion, illumination, insight and escape for listeners, evolving in approach and style as audio practitioners have responded to new ideas and technology with ingenuity, imagination and inspiration. These awards celebrate the creativity of actors, writers, directors, producers, musicians, sound designers and all who work in this vibrant art-form.

The winners will be announced on Sunday 24 March 2024 in a ceremony in the Radio Theatre at BBC Broadcasting House London. The winners of the Imison and Tinniswood Awards (judged and administered by the Society of Authors and the Writers’ Guild of Great Britain) will also be announced at this ceremony.

Best Original Single Drama

Benny and Hitch by Andrew McCaldon, producers Neil Varley and Tracey Neale, BBC Audio Drama London

Churchill versus Reith by Mike Harris, producer Gary Brown, BBC Audio Drama North

Dear Harry Kane by James Fritz, producer Sally Avens, BBC Audio Drama London

Eat and Run by Paolo Chianta, producer Lorna Newman, BBC Audio Drama North

Rare Earth by Richard Monks, producer Nicolas Jackson, Afonica

Voices From the End of the World by Lucy Catherine, producer Sasha Yevtushenko, BBC Audio Drama London

Best Adaptation

The Age of Anxiety by W.H.Auden, adapted by Robin Brooks, producer Fiona McAlpine, Allegra Productions

Beowulf Retold based on the version by Seamus Heaney, producer Pauline Harris, BBC Audio Drama London

Bess Loves Porgy by Edwin DuBose Heyward, adapted by Roy Williams, producer Gill Parry, feral inc

The Dark is Rising by Susan Cooper, adapted by Robert Macfarlane and Simon McBurney, producer Catherine Bailey, Catherine Bailey Productions and Complicite

If on a Winter’s Night a Traveller by Italo Calvino, adapted by Tim Crouch and Toby Jones, producer Nadia Molinari, BBC Audio Drama North

One Moonlit Night by Caradog Prichard, adapted by Rhiannon Boyle, producer Emma Harding, BBC Cymru Wales

Best Original Series or Serial

The 5000 by Sebastian Baczkiewicz, producers Gaynor Macfarlane, BBC Scotland

An Eye for a Killing by Colin Macdonald, producer Bruce Young, BBC Scotland

Flirties, written and produced by Jess Simpson, Audiocraft

There’s Something I Need to Tell You by John Scott Dryden and Misha Kawnel, producer Emma Hearn, Goldhawk Productions

The Tomb by Sebastian Baczkiewicz, producer Joby Waldman, Reduced Listening

Trust by Jonathan Hall, producer Gary Brown, BBC Audio Drama North

Best Actor

Hiran Abeysekera, Dear Harry Kane, director Sally Avens, BBC Audio Drama London

Max Irons, The Bronze Horseman, director Susan Roberts, BBC Audio Drama North

Toby Jones, If on a Winter’s Night a Traveller, director Nadia Molinari, BBC Audio Drama North

Lorn Macdonald, Confessions of a Justified Sinner, director Kirsty Williams, BBC Scotland

Tim McInerny, Benny & Hitch, director Tracey Neale, BBC Audio Drama London

Tom Walker, Call Jonathan Pie, Alison Vernon-Smith, Yada-Yada Audio

Best Actress

Gabrielle Brooks, Bess Loves Porgy, director Michael Buffong, feral inc

Dinita Gohil, Victory City, producer Alison Crawford, BBC Bristol

Maxine Peake, The Women of Troy, director Nadia Molinari, BBC Audio Drama North

Rosamund Pike, People Who Knew Me, director Daniella Isaacs, Merman

Lydia Wilson, Happy Birthday, Mr President, director Gaynor Macfarlane, BBC Scotland

Fenella Woolgar, Lines in the Sand: The Journeys of Gertrude Bell, director Jessica Mitic, BBC Audio Drama North

Best Supporting Performance

Sacha Dhawan, Anna Karenina, director Nadia Molinari, BBC Audio Drama North

Erin Doherty, The Seagull, director Toby Swift, BBC Audio Drama London

Mark Heap, Kafka’s Dick, director Dermot Daly, Naked Productions

Sophia Del Pizzo, There’s Something I Need to Tell You, director John Scott Dryden, Goldhawk Productions

The Marc Beeby Award for Best Debut Performance

Izzy Campbell, Of a Night, director Jessica Mitic, BBC Audio Drama North

Rosie Ekenna, Faith, Hope and Glory, director Anastasia Osei-Kuffour, BBC Audio Drama London

Rosalind Eleazar, Hindsight, director Gaynor Macfarlane, BBC Scotland

Jadie Rose Hobson, Exposure, director Anne Isger, BBC Audio Drama London

Dan Parr, The Test Batter Can’t Breathe, director Tracey Neale, BBC Audio Drama London

Olivia Triste, Rise, director Dermot Daly, Naked Productions

Best Sit Com or Comedy Drama

Call Jonathan Pie by Tom Walker, producer Alison Vernon-Smith, Yada-Yada Audio

Kat Sadler’s Screen Time by Kat Sadler and Cameron Loxdale, producer Gwyn Rhys Davies, BBC Studios Audio

Michael Spicer: Before Next Door by Michael Spicer, producer Matt Tiller, Starstruck Media

Mockery Manor by Lindsay Sharman, producer Laurence Owen, Long Cat Media

She Stoops to Conquer by Oliver Goldsmith, adapted by Barunka O’Shaughnessy, producer Emma Harding, BBC Cymru Wales

Where to, Mate? devised by Jo Enright, Peter Slater, Abdullah Afzal, Nina Gilligan, Andy Salthouse, Keith Carter, Jason Wingard, producer Carl Cooper, BBC Studios Audio

Best Stand Up Comedy

Daliso Chaponda: Citizen of Nowhere by Daliso Chaponda, additional material Meryl O’Rourke, producer Carl Cooper, BBC Studios Audio

Janey Godley: The C Bomb by Janey Godley, producers Julia Sutherland and Richard Melvin, Dabster Productions

Maisie Adam: The Beautiful Game by Maisie Adam, producer Georgia Keating, BBC Studios Audio

Olga Koch: OK Computer by Olga Koch and Charlie Dinkin, producer Benjamin Sutton, BBC Studios Audio

Rob Newman on Air by Rob Newman, producer Eloise Whitmore, Naked Productions

Sarah Keyworth: Are You a Boy or a Girl by by Sarah Keyworth, additional material Ruby Clyde, producer James Robinson, BBC Studios Audio

Best Use of Sound

The Adventurers, sound by Alisdair McGregor, producer Boz Temple-Morris, Holy Mountain

The Dark is Rising, sound by Gareth Fry, producer Catherine Bailey, Catherine Bailey Productions and Complicité

Hamlet Noir, sound by David Chilton, Lucinda Mason Brown, Weronika Andersen, producers Charlotte Melén, Carl Prekopp and Saskia Black, Almost Tangible

Slow Air, sound by Alisdair McGregor and Eloise Whitmore, producer Polly Thomas, Naked Productions

Voices From the End of the World, sound by Peter Ringrose, producer Sasha Yevtushenko, BBC Audio Drama London

The Women of Troy, sound by Sharon Hughes, producer Nadia Molinari, BBC Audio Drama North

Best Podcast Audio Drama

Badger and the Blitz by Richard Turley and Darren Francis, producer Richard Turley, Roxo Ltd

Below by Aaron Gray and Paul Skillen, producer John Wakefield, HTM Television

Flirties, written and produced by Jess Simpson, Audiocraft

The Haunter of the Dark – The Lovecraft Investigations by Julian Simpson, producer Sarah Tombling, Sweet Talk Productions

The Salvation by Justin Lockey, Jeffrey Aidoo, and AK Benedict, producers John Hamm and Boz Temple-Morris, Holy Mountain and Free Turn

Tagged by Brett Neichin and John Scott Dryden, producer Emma Hearn, Sony Music Entertainment and Goldhawk Productions

Best European Drama

Evicted by Karel Klostermann, adapted by Tomáš Loužný, producer Renata Venclová, CZR Czech Radio

Faust (I Never Read It) by Noam Brusilovsky, producer Andrea Oetzmann, SWR Südwestrundfunk with Deutschlandfunk

Irina’s Soul Is Like a Precious Piano by Rona Žulj, producer Katja Šimunić, Croatian Radiotelevision

The Sick Bag Song by Nick Cave, adapted by Kai Grehn, producer Lina Kokaly, Radio Bremen

The Supervisor by Nis-Momme Stockmann, producer Michael Becker, NDR Norddeutscher Rundfunk

This Word by Marta Rebzda, producer Waldemar Modestowicz, Polish Radio Theatre

-- WooHOO! The Haunter of the Dark, part 4 of The Lovecraft Investigations, is up for a BBC Audio Drama Award! I am made up!

[lemongogo]

Quick question, what are some books that you have enjoyed?

ehehe maybe this answer will be super boring 2 u but i lovee scientific nonfiction .. esp if its to do w cell or cancer biology

^ siddhartha mukherjee is my fav at the moment . maybe forever idk .. “emperor of all maladies: a biography of cancer” or “the gene: an intimate history” are BOTH SOOO GOOD !!!SO INTERESTING & CAPTIVATINGG !! “the song of the cell” is also very enjoyable, but i think the first two definitely appealed to me more 🤔.by a small margin ,mind u

“the open heart club” by gabriel brownstein is a part memoir , part historical summation of the rise of cardiology / cardiac surgery . iirc i think this book is what convinced me that i only want to read nonfiction GAHAHA loved it from what i remember. “a good time to be born, how science & public health gave children a future” by perri klass 🤔?maybe

tryinf to think.. i fell out of reading for a while before i came across ohc so i dont have a lot that come to mind . ive been working to get back into it though.. currently listening to “the world according to phsyics” by jim al-khalili and “the universe” by andrew cohen and theyre great but im also on the search 4 something more .. something like history/development of x theory, event, or discipline ykwim.. i def want to read “the genome defense” by jorge contreras (smt smt med legal look into civil rights & human genetics law), “the rise and reign of mammals” steve brusatte , urhmmm, yah.

[lycanlovebites]

☠️ - Would you survive in the shoes of your favourite original character?

Hm. That’s a good question. First off I have to pick a favorite… probably either Valentine or Soleil. I think I’d fare quite well as either of them! They have pretty cushy lives I think, nothing too terrible happening to them… yet. If I was in Valentine’s place I might have a bit of a rough time dealing with summonings gone wrong, amateur covens trying to harness my magic (yet again, goodness can’t these witches just find other ways to get magic other than sapping it out of a demon? Whatever happened to hard-earned skill and cultivating it yourself?) and the occasional run-in with a pearl clutching old lady with a crucifix pendant. There’s also the ever-present risk of being discovered as not, in fact, being a human and purely platonic companion to the priest of the town I live with, unlike popular belief, which could result in being killed in various colorful and dramatic ways by demon-fearing townspeople. However, no one seems to be any the wiser of my situation with the priest and our fellow “companion” Soleil who is most definitely a normal human being and is definitely not an angel. Definitely. Other than that things are quite nice and easy going! As long as I don’t get summoned away in front of members of the church (like that one incident..) or accidentally bare my teeth too much, things should be fine.

As Soleil, it would also be quite nice, all things considered. I have a nice home and comfortable life with my human ward and our demonic partner, and while I have to wear a human disguise when out in town it’s pretty enjoyable. However, being Sol would not always have been easy or as painless as it is now. Sol has been around for millennia, since before the dinosaurs went extinct (most of them, anyways. Birds still remain, thank the stars for that) and it’s absolutely devastating to witness that amount of destruction. The very first creatures I would have warded over, protected, all gone. Unable to save any creature beyond the one I warded over when it happened, wanting to save them all but limited by things larger than myself. Divine beings? Nature? Fate? I personally wouldn’t know how to live after that. But Sol continued, unable to die. They’ve seen the rise and fall of species and stars, the birth and death of many. And through it all they’re here now, with their beloved Father Gabriel and Valentine, peaceful and safe.. for now. However, like all earthly creatures, Gabriel will eventually die. He’s only human, and they live for only a short flicker of time in the history of Earth. Not even a hundred years, can you imagine that? To an angel, human lifespans are like mayflies. Brief, yet profound. Over swiftly after it begins. But that’s what makes them so beautiful. Humans know almost from the moment they are born that they are mortal, that some day they will eventually die. It’s impossible to imagine, for an angel. The knowledge of what’s imminent, would that not crush any being cursed enough to conceive it? Yet Gabriel seems to live with the knowledge well. He’s made peace with it since he was a boy. After all, death was a familiar face, more than any childhood friend perhaps. But Sol cannot fathom it. How could he be so… accepting of it? His own mortality? It troubles Sol at night. Because they’re so painfully aware that eventually all this will end. Gabriel will die, and while he will have loved Sol and Valentine until the day he does, Sol and Valentine will continue to miss him for the rest of theirs. It’s heartbreaking to fathom, so they try to savor the time they have. Perhaps his life is a short existence, one riddled with pain even Sol themself could not erase, but they could make it good for now. They could make him happy, safe now, peaceful. They could savor him. and, perhaps, if they were lucky, find a way to make this time last forever with him.

I guess in short I would survive quite well as either of them! Not without pain of course but I wouldn’t die. Probably.

[@justaderivative tagging you in this because it has ✨character insight✨! Bone apple teeth, dear mutual]

[liodain]

Best Foot Forward

Feet - ~5.8k, Hubriel, E, T4T, pirate days.

You heard me. Also contains minor wound fingering, frot/grinding, Hugo-typical sadism, and uses a mix of anatomical and gender-affirming physical descriptions.

Gabriel is still limping by the end of his watch.

Likely it's barely noticeable to anyone unaccustomed to observing him closely and at length, but a limp nonetheless. Injuries come from all sides in this world, so what ails him could be blister or rope burn, bruise or broken toe, battle injury or something borne of the myriad inevitable hazards of life aboard a ship. 

What's certain is that, despite his chin kept firmly up, it's hindering him. 

Hugo watches as Gabriel pauses to speak with Vidale on the quarterdeck, silhouetted in the boiling sunset. His weight is on the rail, one foot flat to the deck and the other lifted, toes only just touching the boards in a way that Hugo finds irritating, fairly or not. 

With a nod and a gesture, Vidale moves on. Gabriel leans down to scratch at the sole of his foot and visibly flinches. If Hugo were in earshot, he assumes he'd be treated to an imaginative combination of obscenities, but all he can hear from his vantage in the crow's nest is the roar of the ocean and the snap of canvas, the noises of his crew calling back and forth, the shape of their words eroded by the wind.

Not that he needs to hear Gabriel cursing to see that he's in no hurry to visit the surgeon. All in all, Hugo takes a dim view of his freshly-appointed first mate's decision to malinger.

The Squall surges onward back to the Cove, weather and water ever in her favour. Hugo spares a glance to the merchant ship left in their wake, stripped of its cargo and sinking in graceful tribute, and then once more back to Gabriel loitering at the rail. With a sharp sigh, Hugo lowers his spyglass and collapses it into his palm, then swings down onto the ladder to steer this issue onto a more satisfactory course.

Gabriel still hasn't moved by the time Hugo sets down on the deck, six foot and then some of dereliction of duty. The rapid retort of his heels must signal his intent to deliver a dressing down, as Gabriel arranges his face into careless nonchalance as he approaches.

"Captain," he says.

Both the greeting and the hot rake of his gaze dance perilously on the edge of disrespectful, as is his standard. So far, Hugo's attempts to bring him in line have been somewhat counterproductive. Enjoyable, certainly, but with scant evidence of the desired result, though he suspects Gabriel himself is getting exactly what he wants out of it. 

Time will tell if his reflexive insubordination will become a problem, personally, politically, or with the crew's morale, but for now, he's a mistake Hugo's content to keep making.

He gives Gabriel a thorough once-over from head to toe in return—sun-rich skin salty with perspiration, his braid looped over one wide shoulder, dried blood smeared up his arms and in the valley of his chest from a hasty post battle wipedown. His hips are canted, injured foot laid flat but not pulling its weight. That he's trying to hide it is a further attempt on Hugo's patience.

"Whatever reason you have for not taking yourself down to the surgeon's quarters, I assure you it's a foolish one," Hugo says. "Get that seen to right away."

Gabriel shrugs, amiable in the face of Hugo's discontent. "This ain't my blood, you realise."

"I'm aware of that." Hugo takes a step closer to lightly rest his boot over Gabriel's bare toes, rocked back onto his heel so the sole barely kisses them. "I mean this, as you well know."

It's a threat mostly without teeth, but for a man who ploughs head first into battle with fearless abandon, Gabriel has his tender spots.

"It's nothin'. Splinter from the deck of that merchant's shitty windjammer. Hadn't seen a stoning in at least five Risings, by my reckoning." He gingerly extracts his toes from beneath Hugo's boot, more cautious now that he's realised a round of flirting isn't on the cards. "It'll work its own way out."

Ridiculous. Hugo stares at him. He stares back, intractable until Hugo braces two hands on his mountainous shoulders, dark leather of his gloves spread over the undulations of his bondmark, and shoves him. 

It's brazen enough of a trespass that Gabriel tips his bulk onto his lame foot in shock, and promptly yowls like a shipcat that's had his tail stepped on. Anger thunders from him as he makes a grab for the rail then aborts in an attempt to save face.

"It doesn't look like nothing to me." Hugo digs his fingers into the stout muscle of his biceps, holding him steady as all the fuming in the world won't stop his knee from buckling. "It looks to me like you can barely stand on it, much less have my back if we encounter hostilities. What it looks like, to me, is that you're making a liability of yourself, Berthelot. And for what reason?"

Pride, of course. Gabriel jerks his arm out of Hugo's grip, his rage simmering down into a wounded sulk. With his immense presence, it's easy to forget he's so very green still. A wicked urge floods Hugo's veins, one that wars between offering him a soothing word and driving him further into his temper.

"You know I ain't a liability. I can take care of it myself, just had my hands full till now," Gabriel insists. "Don't see why I ought to waste my time sittin' in Michele's chop shop so xe can poke and prod at me for no reason."

Now they were getting to the crux of the issue. Gabriel may be headstrong and confident—overly so, by all accounts—and able to draw on the Fury's magic with such strength and aptitude that he can turn a storm to his whim and the tide to his fancy, but he is still a man, and one who is as likely to baulk at incongruous things as any other. And devotees of the Honoured Demise are, in all fairness to him, unsettling.

"If you're afraid of our surgeon, you can see a physic next we make port. In the meantime, you'll be relieved of—"

"I ain't afraid. And you ain't relieving me of nothing."

Hugo pauses neatly. "Am I not?"

It's emphatically not a question. Gabriel clearly has an answer for him regardless, though in an unexpected fit of tact, or perhaps his instinct for self-preservation, he doesn't voice it. That is some improvement, at least. He sets his shoulders square and draws himself up to his full height, a magnificent grimace of pain crossing his face as he settles his weight across both feet. 

"I ain't afraid of nothing," he says instead. "Not even a corpse whisperer with a bone saw."

"Good. Xe won't take your whole foot for the sake of a splinter. At least, not if you remedy it right away. I can't make any guarantees once infection sets in, so sooner is better than later."

Clearly not a prospect he had considered, and one he doesn't enjoy now that he has. Hugo watches a variety of emotions churn across his face: stubbornness, frustration, uncertainty, and a brief but intense resurgence of anger that settles into deeply resentful defeat. 

He glances around, then inclines his head close to Hugo's, oiled braid sliding over his shoulder and dangling in the space between them.

"You do it," he says, halfway between a question and a demand, pitched low as if he fears being overheard. He's so surly that it makes Hugo's mouth twitch at the corner, and that's enough for him to finally take some mercy on his bruised pride. 

"A wiser choice than forcing me to drag you to the surgeon by the ear," he replies in similarly conspiratorial tones, though even the undercurrent of fondness he can't quell doesn't keep Gabriel from pulling a face over it. He pats him on his blood-streaked chest. "Let's see to it, then."

Gabriel keeps a straight back and a steady pace as he follows Hugo to his quarters. The only indication of his discomfort is in the tight line of his jaw and the tendrils of hair sweated to his temples and his thick neck. He looks no different to any other time Hugo's pulled him aside for admonishment, but he assumes it's incidental more than an attempt to cover from prying eyes in this instance.

As soon as the door closes behind them, Gabriel lets out a long, hearty string of swears and sits himself behind Hugo's desk, the dipping sun casting fire into his hair and igniting his jewellery as he makes himself comfortable. Also not dissimilar behaviour, though if he thinks Hugo is about to kneel at his feet while he's enthroned in the captain's chair, then he has misjudged the situation quite severely.

"Anchor-humping, bilge-chugging, gods-fuckin'-bedamned spelk." Gabriel rests his ankle over his knee and grabs his foot with both hands, attempting to wrestle it around to inspect his sole. "Feels the size of your bleedin' rapier."

"It would justify all your rouspéter if it were, but somehow I don't imagine it's the case."

There's a bottle of spirits in Hugo's top drawer, the contents of which are barely more than firewater. He sets it on the desk while he shrugs off his coat and turns up his shirtsleeves. It is, of course, immediately commandeered. Gabriel turns the bottle in his hand, briefly losing interest in his foot to squint distrustfully at the turbid contents. They glow a sinister red with the final embers of the sunset.

"What's with the swill?" he says, uncorking it and giving it a sniff. He grimaces. "You're always purloinin' the good stuff for yourself and this is what you're gonna pour me?"

"Oh, standards all of a sudden? You'll be pleased to know this isn't a situation that merits a fortifying drink, then." 

Hugo unknots his cravat and smooths it between his fingers. It's a golden cream, which was always going to be a risky choice of colour. Indeed, the Squall's last engagement has left its mark and rendered it fit only for burning, though it has one last task to fulfil first. 

He gestures with a gloved hand for Gabriel to get up and move. "Now, if you could stop stewing in your own misfortune for half a turn, I want you over here for this."

Gabriel follows his pointing fingers and smirks.

The captain's bed is a grand affair, carved and jointed into the ship's timbers, well-layered with blankets and furs and framed by heavy velvet curtains that gather to either side. They've fucked more since that first heady smoke-and-water night at the revel: in the wreckage of an ill-fated tavern room; in Gabriel's bunk with a hand clapped over his loud and filthy mouth; right here, Gabriel wrestled over the desk, one arm pinned behind his back and legs wedged apart—but not yet in Hugo's sheets.

Gabriel's injury is suddenly only a minor inconvenience as he follows Hugo's direction, bobbing over like an untethered buoy to beach himself in the blankets, his generous body as desperately inviting as Hugo thought it'd be amid the embroidered covers. With a contented grunt, he tucks one hand behind his head, the other tipping the bottle to his mouth despite his frank opinion of its contents. 

His calf dangles over the edge of the frame, wounded foot presented as though Hugo's any more likely to kneel here than he was at his desk.

A sight to behold. If torturing him with a light hand wasn't in the offing, Hugo would be inclined to skip the wound tending and have him right now—but it very much is, so he sits next to Gabriel and hauls his leg around until his heel is propped on his thigh. He's not particularly helpful about it, and becomes less so at Hugo's first exploratory touch. He makes a stifled noise and tries to tug away, foot flexing inward like it's trying to protect itself.

Hugo clicks his tongue.

"Tickles, don't it," Gabriel says, accusatory.

"My apologies," Hugo replies with an acid crispness. It's not necessarily his intention to make the surgeon seem like the preferable option in future, but it perhaps wouldn't be an unwise outcome. He tugs off his gloves with his teeth and tosses them in the general direction of his desk, and takes a vice grip on Gabriel's ankle.

Without warning, he brings his hand down in a short arc and with as much force as he can, laying a slap along the underside of Gabriel's foot so hard it makes his palm sting. 

The report echoes off the walls of his quarters.

A brief, shocked calm falls over Gabriel, his broad chest rising as he fills his lungs, then for the second time that day he treats Hugo to an agonised bellow. Hugo holds him fast through his struggling and cursing until he settles down once more, each futile kick feeding the slow burn of his desire. When he runs his fingertips along Gabriel's foot again, the muscle of his calf tenses solid, but he restrains himself from further fight.

"Better?"

"No, 'cause now it's on fire, asshole."

"Then gird yourself, because this isn't going to get any more pleasant," Hugo says, rescuing the bottle of spirits from where Gabriel flung it into the bedclothes. He jams his wadded-up cravat to the neck, upending it long enough for the liquor to wick through the silk.

Gabriel bares his teeth as Hugo presses the fabric to the underside of his foot, but the pain mustn't be as bad as he was anticipating. Certainly nothing worse than the slap. The snarl relaxes off his face as Hugo sets about wiping the everyday grime away patiently and thoroughly, sluicing off grit and blood and pitch stains first from his heel, then the tough curve alongside his arch, and then the ball of his foot. When he runs the silk between each toe—not a few of them crooked, despite all his blood and thunder over a mere splinter—it earns him a hitched muttering, though no further complaints of ticklishness.

But if Hugo is on the brink of finding some meaning in cleansing the dirt from his sole with silk and spirits, something devotional about it, almost, then leave it to Gabriel to sully the moment.

"May as well do both while you're here." He nudges the outside of Hugo's thigh with his other foot, a knowing leer making its way out from beneath his rancour. "Since it looks like you're getting real into it and all."

As though Gabriel hasn't some interesting appetites of his own. Hugo digs his thumb into the meat of his foot until he winces and considers the virtues of stuffing the cravat into his mouth, though decides to exercise forbearance. Likewise, he stifles the urge to dissemble. It's not that it's Gabriel's foot, which is hardly beautiful on its own merits even if there is, as ever, dangerous allure in the perverse, so much as it's Gabriel's foot, and thus as worthy of Hugo's attentions as every other inch of his body.

Whether he's 'getting real into it' or not—that's besides the point. The point is that there's no sign of a splinter in the calloused parts of Gabriel's sole, so he knows where it must be. He refolds his cravat into a clean square and soaks it, then presses it into the arch firmly enough that the cool alcohol trickles down his wrist.

Gabriel heaves like an undersea quake. "Fury fuckin' help me, Hugo—"

At least that wipes the smirk back off his face, but Hugo could do without the kick that narrowly misses his own, and the spatter of liquor that doesn't. He licks a drop of it from the corner of his mouth, then viciously pinches the tendon above Gabriel's heel until he calms down again, if the murderous glower on his face can be called that.

"If you're done indulgin' your depraved and wicked inclinations, can we get on with this?"

"Depraved? I haven't even threatened to break any bones yet." Hugo pinches his smallest toe, amused at the way he hastily wriggles it free, and sets the cravat and liquor aside. As the alcohol evaporates, a different scent pervades the air. A familiar, enticing one, though by appearances, Gabriel's not going to be forthcoming about having any further stake in this. 

So Hugo lifts his foot and inspects it instead. He can see the splinter now: at least an inch long and thicker than he expects, needled into the soft skin that hasn't been toughened by rope and deck and rock. It's almost completely embedded, its dark and bloody length visible under the surface of his skin, but ought to be simple enough to excise with the application of a keen edge.

A simmering anticipation settles low in Hugo's belly. He draws his belt knife and wets his lips.

"Hold very still," he says, knowing with acute pleasure that Gabriel will not.

"Hells, no." Gabriel recoils, his objection vehement enough that he manages to jerk his foot entirely free of Hugo's grip. He cradles it protectively, knee drawn up under his chin. "Godsdamn—if I wanted it carved out I would've gone to Michele to begin with."

"Then I'm not sure what else you expect me to do," Hugo says, terse only to disguise his stymied desire. He taps the flat of his knife against his palm and then reluctantly sheaths it.

"I don't know, but it ain't that!"

"Well, Berthelot, my solution is your only option if you can't come up with one of your own." Hugo exhales through his nose and summons a more measured tone. "Let me take another look, then."

After a brief but sulky struggle, Hugo gets a hold of Gabriel's calf and reclaims his foot once again. On some instinct that is somewhat murkier in intent than his affectionate cruelties, he rubs at the outer edge of Gabriel's sole, his instep, along the bony length of his toes, before returning to his arch. 

It gentles him enough that he stops trying to pull free again, and he lets Hugo run his thumbnail firmly over the buried splinter. If he can force the end at least partway out, then he can worry it the rest of the way with his fingernails and spare the knife's bite for places Gabriel finds less objectionable.

The splinter does not emerge further, but a bead of blood wells up from the wound—and a soft groan from Gabriel's throat.

His foot goes tense in Hugo's hand, toes curling tight, and he falls deathly still. Hugo raises his eyebrows in question, but Gabriel is looking everywhere but at him. The scent of his arousal is difficult to ignore. A droplet of sweat slides down his cheek and into the dark gold of his beard.

Hugo takes a slow breath, eyes falling half-closed, heat unfurling deep in his belly and quickening into a deluge as he digs his thumbnail against the embedded end of the splinter again. The scarlet bead of blood overflows its bounds, streaking down Gabriel's sole and onto his thumb.

"I hope you're not in too much pain," he says.

"Bullshit you don't." Gabriel flinches, foot twitching, but he controls his reflexive pulling away, if not his mouth. "The way you're having a fine godsdamn time gettin' off on proclivities old and new? Bet you could drown me between your legs right now."

Hugo smiles wolfishly, lifting his thumb to his mouth. "And I will, if you gainsay me one more time."

The metallic tang on his tongue makes his cunt pulse voraciously, but Gabriel is the one who swallows. His eyes are dark, face flushed, chest rising and falling shallowly. Just as gratifyingly, the tip of the splinter has breached the surface of his skin. It's detectable when Hugo passes the pad of his thumb over it—each stroke makes Gabriel jolt as though he's charged with the Fury's magic—but it's still not exposed enough to get a grip.

He tries anyway, stretching the skin and trying to nip it between his fingernails, but he only succeeds in getting his fingers tacky with blood.

Without stopping to think about it too closely, Hugo hoists Gabriel's foot higher and ducks his head. The curve of his arch fits neatly against his lower face. Salt and blood on his lips, the astringent bite of the liquor, the heat of his skin—Gabriel is a man who bares himself in defiance and in pride, but he so easily lets Hugo have him by the tender undersides.

Hugo stares at him over the slope of his foot. Gabriel, who gives passing thought to consequence but rarely to propriety, holds his gaze while he plunges a hand beneath the waist of his slops. He seems satisfied to simply press his fingers over his cock so it's not borne of a desperate need to bring himself off; proof he's enjoying himself as much as Hugo is despite his grousing, even if the glint in his eye dares him to say anything about it.

He can have his way; there are more devastating things Hugo can do with his mouth at present. 

He focuses on the hot ridge of skin irritated by the splinter's invasion, feeling out the raised length of it with the tip of his tongue. He works at it with firm strokes, each pass echoed by a brush of his thumb over Gabriel's instep, and he's soon rewarded twofold. Gabriel makes a strangled sound, toes curling tight and brushing Hugo's cheek, fingers circling under his pants, and one last probe of Hugo's tongue coaxes the splinter free enough that he can catch it between his teeth.

Or, could, if he weren't consumed by Gabriel's quickened breathing, his clenched jaw, the way he's fighting to keep his hips from rising off the bed. There is sanctity in his suffering, and Hugo's lust surges anew, towering like a wind-wave. His trousers are rough where he's drenched, his thighs aching with the radiating intensity of his arousal. 

Possessed by an urge bordering on savage, he squeezes Gabriel's foot and feels the bones and tendons strain. He drags his teeth over his largest toe, runs his tongue along the curve of his sole and then bites hard enough to leave indents in the tough skin. Each attack startles an uneven noise out of Gabriel that founders between confusion and craving.

He's in fine company. Hugo finds himself fighting a tight kind of breathlessness as he buries his face in the arch of Gabriel's foot again, nose pressed flat and lips parted, heated pleasure pounding between his legs as he worries at the splinter. Gabriel's skin is damp with salt-sweat, Hugo's condensing breath further wetting his sole in sharp huffs as he scrapes at the splinter with his teeth, taking blood into his mouth and letting it linger on his tongue, gnawing until he manages to catch it and prise it free.

A heady satisfaction grips him as the fragment tears free, echoed by a low, long groan from Gabriel that's laced with both relief and pain. 

"Godsdamn," he says, watching spellbound as Hugo rolls the splinter from one side of his mouth to the other then spits it carelessly into the rumpled bedding. He laughs, rough and low. "If you'd told me you were gonna do it like that, I'd figure you were yankin' my chain."

Hugo shoots him a lean smile as he shrugs his shirt and waistcoat off, then hitches Gabriel's foot onto his shoulder. Gabriel offers no resistance, though he catches his lower lip at the reappearance of Hugo's knife. 

Further reward for this nonsense. He flips the knife into a reverse grip, tucks it into Gabriel's waistband, and rips his slops open like he'd gut a captive. 

"Son of a bitch—" Gabriel's hand is spread in the darkened, damp curls of his crotch. His cock juts between his first and middle finger. "I just made those and you ruined em." He shoves at Hugo's cheek with his largest toe. He sounds more breathless than angry, but still angry enough. 

"Seems you ruined them before I had a hand in it." Hugo stabs his knife into the bedframe and pointedly drags his fingers through the wetness smeared between Gabriel's generous thighs, the hair there slicked into whorls.

"Like this ain't your doing as well—" 

"Are you going to complain about it?" 

Hugo shoves Gabriel's hand aside so he can make himself intimately familiar with every tiny tremor and clench, fingers gliding through damp, coarse hair to find velvety blood-hot flesh. He's beautifully, obscenely wet. He rolls the heel of his hand over Gabriel's cock, just to hear the soaked noise it makes and to feel him pulse against his palm.

"You should be thanking me for doing a surgeon's work for your benefit, considering it falls far outside both my expertise and my responsibilities as captain."

Gabriel sucks in a breath through his nose. He's got nothing clever to say for once in his life, instead intent on slipping the brass buttons of Hugo's breeches. He frees trousers and underclothes alike from the clinch of his sashes and belts with a single fierce yank. A seam rips somewhere, but Hugo's relief at peeling the damp fabric from his skin outweighs his annoyance in the short term.

"This ain't exactly a captain's duty either," he manages to dredge up. His insufferable smirk resurfaces, so he must consider it a sharp enough riposte; one he's rewarding himself for by running his hands over Hugo's bared hips and down his thighs, hooking his fingers into the rumpled folds of his breeches.

In the spirit of cooperation, Hugo helps work them the rest of the way off. "You're right, it isn't, though I doubt you appreciate the special dispensation."

"Seems to me that's just a fancy way of saying you're takin' advantage of my grievously wounded state."

"Tch. I'll give you grievously wounded."

Gabriel grins up at him, glowing with a terrible affection, and gods, it makes Hugo want to hurt him in the most breathtaking ways. The impulse moves through him like the slide of dark silk, like curling anise smoke, blood threading through brine. Something to be savoured.

He cradles Gabriel's ankle, turning his head to scrape his teeth on the curve of it. Slow warmth drips onto his shoulder, gathering with perspiration to trickle down his back, anointing his bondmark with their salt price combined, the first offering of the evening. The room smells of blood and sex and liquor and salt, every inhalation stoking a base demand that refuses to be ignored. 

With a sharp breath, Hugo hitches Gabriel's ankle higher up his shoulder, slings a leg over his other massive thigh and presses his cunt to the apex of Gabriel's legs. The slick, blood-flushed contact is electric, the effect immediate: Gabriel curses up a loud, filthy storm. Hugo swears he can feel the clench of him against his lips. 

"Oh, you finally gonna fuck me proper, then?" Gabriel's pulse shudders in his throat, beneath soaked hair that's plastered in waves to his neck. A glorious wreck ripe for the sinking.

"You could say that," Hugo says, and gouges his thumbnail into the wound on Gabriel's sole.

His first mate may have further unflattering things to say about him, but Hugo digs in his thumb and his bilge prayers scatter into a beautiful howl, his back arching under this sudden return to pain. It inspires little sympathy and even less mercy, only fuelling his desire; Hugo cants his hips and weathers his bucking, a sigh guttering from his throat as he feels the firm ridge of Gabriel's arousal part his folds and slip between them.

The way Gabriel chokes on his own animal noises sends further torrents of lust thundering through Hugo's veins. More potent still are the spasms of pain that turn into instinctive, fervent rutting, and the open-mouthed rapture on his face as though nobody's pinned him down and ridden his cock before.

Hugo angles his thumb, parting the gash with his nail and pressing deeper into the wound, into the wet, hot shallows of his flesh, and he thinks about that.

"Fuck," Gabriel loudly says, having apparently exhausted his more elaborate repertoire of oaths and curses. He clutches for Hugo's waist, and with one last heaving thrust that almost unseats him, comes apart under him like a hull bursting on jagged rocks. His toes curl and catch strands of Hugo's hair, his thighs and chest quaking as he spends. 

Hugo's cunt clenches as he's caught in the savage grip of his own approaching release. Every powerful twitch he can feel between his legs draws him taut, each low, pained moan that spills from Gabriel's lips urging him towards climax. One last dig of his thumb has Gabriel's face contorting in equal parts bliss and agony, lost in his perfect torture. Hugo drinks in the sight as he bears down on him relentlessly, relishing the way Gabriel jolts and groans as he grinds against his tender cock. 

Blood trickles down his arm, and as the first drops spatter onto Gabriel's belly, Hugo comes viciously, his cunt pulsing in driving, torrential waves.

The aftermath is a slippery mess of panted breath and trapped limbs. Gabriel's heavy as an anchor; a willing sacrifice at the altar of Hugo's cravings, but a shiftless one now he's had his fill. He shoves Gabriel's thick thigh off him without ceremony, and with careful regard for the perilous slickness of their skin as well as his own watery knees, extracts himself to fetch his basin and ewer. 

He spares a glance at Gabriel as he pours. He's the picture of unabashed contentment, slow sticky pleasure enshrined amongst his blankets. Lanternlight dips into the base of his throat, clings to the curve of his biceps and the sweat-glazed slope of his chest. He catches Hugo watching him, and has the temerity to smirk about it.

It's obvious he's inclined to moor himself here for the evening. Hugo finds he's not as averse to the idea as he should be, but it's far too early in their... whatever this is, for that kind of intimacy. He steels his resolve as he sets the basin by the bed and wrings out a washcloth.

"Don't get too comfortable," he says.

"Sendin' me back to my own bunk, Captain?" 

"No." Hugo lets Gabriel luxuriate in the reassurance for a minute or two while he wipes his arm and shoulder clean. "I'm sending you to Michele."

"What!" Gabriel scrambles to sit upright, making it convenient for Hugo to grab his foot once more and scrub mercilessly at the blood going tacky on his sole. "Aw, c'mon—ow, godsdamn, watch it. After all that?"

"Watch yourself, Berthelot. Get this salved and dressed before first watch tomorrow. You'll be standing it if you don't."

"So much for relieving me of duty on account of my unreliability."

Hugo should toss Gabriel the cloth and let him clean himself up. Instead, he pushes his  massive, damp thighs apart and kneels between them. "I thought you found that decision objectionable."

"Threat, you mean. And yeah, but only 'cause of the aspersions you were casting."

"Do you want first watch?"

"Hells do I." 

"Then if I check the binnacle list," Hugo says, sitting back to rinse the cloth. "I expect to see your name on it."

Gabriel sighs. "And the surgeon writes the binnacle list," he says in a sarcastic sing-song. "Even though you get as much say. Thought you'd be feeling more generous after a good fuck."

"Has that worked so far?"

Gabriel's eyes gleam. "Thought I'd keep tryin' till it does."

An idle flirt, but Fury help him—the promise of it. The compass of Hugo's heart veers wildly toward Gabriel, marks him a cardinal direction, and he takes out his despair at this palm-cut idiocy by snapping the washcloth against Gabriel's inner thigh.

"Get out of my bed," he says.

Gabriel's laugh is the rumble of distant thunder. "Ow, all right, all right," he says, though he hardly takes the command to heart. In fact he doesn't budge in the slightest, instead flinging an arm around Hugo's shoulders to pull him down into a slack and lazy kiss. 

His chest squashes opulently against Hugo's own, and the careless hand he spreads over the ink on Hugo's shoulder is enough of a temptation to permit a moment's more indulgence. Though not so much that Gabriel will think it's this easy to get his own way: when his hand begins a journey south, Hugo heads things off with a firm bite to his lower lip.

"You know that ain't a discouragement, but I can take a hint." With easy humour, Gabriel pushes himself up off the bed, hobbling about to locate his sash and sword belt and attempting to rig his torn slops into something passably modest with them. Despite Hugo's attentions, he's in satisfying disarray still, his hair pulled halfway out of its braid and an unmistakable flush to his face and chest.

"Then I admire your persistence in the face of several blatant ones." Hugo tosses the cloth into the basin, and before he can second guess himself, draws his first mate to attention before he can leave. "Berthelot."

Gabriel pauses with a hand flat against the door. He's lifted his injured foot, toes brushing the board, and the fact that Hugo exacerbated things this time doesn't mean he can't remain annoyed by it.

It helps him keep it brisk, at least.

"Since you are about to report to the surgeon, so you will have time on your hands tomorrow," he says, approaching to stand toe-to-toe, "I expect to see you here shortly after reveille. I'll have something to keep you gainful."

Unabashed as usual, a grin slants across Gabriel's face. "Resorted to bribery now?"

"I have faith that one of these days you'll successfully identify an order."

"Well, order or bribe, sounds like it's in my interests."

"It very much is," Hugo says, though no matter how stern his delivery, Gabriel still grins like it's the highest praise. He gives his first mate an encouraging kick to the ankle. "Go."

Gabriel sketches a deliberately sloppy salute and laughs, finally taking his leave with a spring in his step.

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (17-23 Mar 2024)

incredible art by harrydarlington

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

🥰 Oscar Wars: A History of Hollywood in Gold, Sweat, and Tears (Michael Schulman, author; Charlie Thurstonn, narrator) - definitely interesting and an enjoyable read. What mainly struck me was that things now are pretty much same as it ever was: the producers have always been horrible to the talent; the academy, despite two serious efforts to course correct, has always been conservative/racist/misogynist, etc.

😍 In Name Only (BootsnBlossoms, Kryptaria) - 84K, 00Q - reread of this fandom classic/forever fave where Bond is 007 & Q is a participant in The Marketplace - love the way this explores Bond wrestling with concepts utterly unknown to him but also his own desires

🙂 Not With a Whimper, But a Bang (emptydistractions, seleneheart) - 46K, urban fantasy AU, dragon!Bucky - read for stucky bookclub - satisfactory read, some intriguing worldbuilding

😊 red wine supernova (donderwolk) - 91K, hocky rpf, one of them had to retire early from the NHL due to a chronic migraine condition, the other's a ceramcist who teaches a local rec center class. Very entertaining read, good quality angst. I enjoyed the characterizations very much

💖💖 +200K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

Sourwood Mountain (Pennyplainknits) - Stranger Things: Munson Family Feels, 5K - great fic with a genius premise and badass munson family feelings

For Which The First Was Made (leupagus) - Agatha Christie's Marple: Jane/Gabriel, 35K - great Miss Marple fic; as I told the author, I never pictured Miss Marple with a boytoy but after reading this fic and watching the inspiration for it, my mind has been EXPANDED. plus I love an epistolary story!

Interrupted Heists, Dentist Visits, and Other Romantic Dates For Your Fake Husband (Kiraly) - Original Work: OMCs, 7K - very fun original fic with two (opposing) sidekicks hitting it off & getting married for insurance reasons

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

D20: Tiny Heist - s4, e4-6

D20: Fantasy High: Junior Year - "A Very Merry Moonar Yulenear" (s21, e11)

D20: Adventuring Party - "Chutes and Ladders" (s16, e11)

D20: Pirates of Leviathan - s7, e1-6

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

Under the Influence - When You're This Big, They Call you Mister

Vibe Check - Hey, Sis: featuring Regina King

Short Wave - A Tale Of Two Bengali Physicists

WikiHole - Leprechauns (with MUNA!)

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - A Mission to find a Meteor with Amir Siraj

NPR's Book of the Day - Christine Blasey Ford tells her own story in 'One Way Back'

Today, Explained - How gangs took over Haiti

Consider This from NPR - A $418 Million Settlement Could Change U.S. Home Buying. But Who Benefits?

99% Invisible #574 - The Monster Under the Sink

Short Wave - Syphilis Cases Are Rising In Babies. Illinois Has A Potential Solution

Vibe Check - Till The Wheels Fall Off

Throughline - Radiolab: Worst. Year. Ever

Imaginary Worlds - Mother-in-Law of Oz

Twenty Thousand Hertz+ - Hans Zimmer's Remote Control

Today, Explained - Can Congress ban TikTok?

Throughline - The Great Textbook War

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Marching through the galaxy with Dr. Moiya McTier

Shedunnit - The Tea Leaf

Ologies - Field Trip: Alie’s Mystery Surgery!

Dear Prudence - My Parents Are Flaunting Their Wealth While I’m Drowning in Debt. Help!

Pop Culture Happy Hour - Road House And What's Making Us Happy

It's Been a Minute - Brittany talks bad accents and bad sex

Short Wave - The Evolutionary Mystery Of Menopause … In Whales

Switched on Pop - Rhapsody in Blue, Reimagined

Strong Songs - Strong Covers, Vol. 3

Imaginary Worlds - Class of '84: When Cyber Was Punk

Consider This from NPR - Stephen King Has Ruled The Horror Genre For 50 Years. But Is It Art?

Worlds Beyond Number - WWW #2: The Naming of Things

Worlds Beyond Number: Fireside - Fireside Chat for WWW ep002 The Naming of Things

Art of History - Art History Horror Story: The Nightmare

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

Eddie Cochran

CREDITS: Sharon Sheeley

My Baby Love

R&B Diva Classics

[nsfwhiphop]

Incoming Text for Gabrielle Union-Wade (@gabunion):

Dear Gabrielle,

I know you well, and I’m certain you’d be disappointed if I didn’t help you achieve the power you deserve. So, I want you to relax and take things easy. You’re still on my list of women whom I plan to help rise to power in one form or another in the future. I’ve always had a deep respect for you, Gabrielle, and I know you're a righteous woman who seeks justice for the wrongs done to you in the past. I’m here to help you achieve that, and I will stand by your side when the time comes for your sweet revenge.

Here’s a short version of the dialogue:

Angelo: "Who did you wrong, Gabrielle?"

Gabrielle: "That mean person I used to work with. They made my life difficult, and I want revenge."

Angelo: "But isn’t it wiser to forgive and forget?"

Gabrielle: "No, I don’t think so. When I become a female ruler, and call him I will."

Angelo: "Are you sure about that?"

Gabrielle: "And call him I will—to stunt on my past bully."

Your moment will arrive in 2035. Yes, that’s 11 years from now, and by then, you’ll be 62 years old, but I promise my respect for you will never waver. You’re fortunate to have earned my admiration, because if you hadn’t, I wouldn’t be offering you this future opportunity. You have proven yourself worthy, and that’s why I’ve chosen you.

In the meantime, I ask that you be patient and trust that your time to rule will come. Many women have sought what you now have in your future, and I’ve turned down countless others in favor of you. I believe in your strength and your purpose.

Also, I want to introduce you to someone important—my Princess Consort, Christina Santini (@santinihoudini). I’d encourage you to support her fully and join her circle of trusted women. I’m sure you two will get along wonderfully and have a lot of fun together as friends.

This conversation has been enjoyable, and I look forward to seeing how the future unfolds for you. Until then, take care, and we’ll reconnect when the time is right in 2035.

Warm regards, Angelo

P.S.:

Synopsis of the letter:

In this letter addressed to Gabrielle Union, the writer assures her that she will have an opportunity to rise to power in the future, specifically in 2035, when she will be 62 years old. The writer acknowledges Gabrielle’s desire for justice and revenge for past wrongs and promises to help her achieve her goals at the right time. While asking her to be patient, the writer emphasizes the respect he has for her and explains that many women were passed over for this opportunity, but she was chosen because of her worthiness. He also introduces Christina Santini, his Princess Consort, suggesting that Gabrielle support her and join her circle of friends. The letter ends with a lighthearted tone, asking Gabrielle to wait until 2035 for her turn to rule.

Here’s a funny video about Barney Stinson’s revenge on a bully: Barney says: “And call him I will—to stunt on my past bully.” 😂😂😂

[steelbluehome]

"Sebastian Stan and Jeremy Strong are enjoyably compelling as a match made in capitalist hell"

Ioncinema

REVIEWS

The Apprentice | 2024 Cannes Film Festival Review (click for article)

By Nicholas Bell

Published on May 20, 2024

3 1/2 out of 5 stars

The Devil and Donald Trump: Abbasi Reconstructs the Rise of a Crony Capitalist

We meet a thirtysomething Donald Trump (Stan) on the outskirts of the economic enclave he desires to infiltrate in 1970s New York. His father Fred (Martin Donovan) has been accused of violating the Fair Housing Act and is being sued by the NAACP for discriminating against Black renters by charging them more than their white counterparts. It’s the first major hurdle obstructing Donald’s dream of purchasing a defunct hotel, The Commodore, and turning it into a luxury hotel which will revitalize Midtown Manhattan and jumpstart tourism in a city which is experiencing a major crime wave. A chance meeting at a private club (of which Mr. Trump gloats about being the youngest member), he meets Roy Cohn (Strong), an infamous lawyer who’s survived three indictments, is a friend of Nixon, put the Rosenbergs in the electric chair, and was a key player in McCarthy’s reign of terror. Cohn takes a liking to Trump, a young-ish man on the verge of going to seed, many of whom liken to Robert Redford. But what he really sees is potential, and he squashes the lawsuit against the Trump clan through blackmailing a key member of the DOJ who is a closeted homosexual (since, as we should all remember, known homosexuals weren’t allowed to be federal employees until 1975).

Among the many wise observations written by nineteenth century Englishman Lord Acton, he noted “Great men are almost always bad men…” But what if they were just plain bad to begin with? And what exactly constitutes greatness? With his fourth film, The Apprentice, filmmaker Ali Abbasi reconstructs the economic rise of Donald Trump through the 1970s and 1980s thanks to his relationship with infamous lawyer Roy Cohn, two men who fall considerably short of anything resembling greatness (at least, if humanity, integrity, and honesty are factors used to determine such a distinction), putting a surprisingly thoughtful spin on both men as logical products of environments and systems which fostered ruthlessness and abject greed. Sebastian Stan and Jeremy Strong are enjoyably compelling as a match made in capitalist hell, and while Gabriel Sherman’s script doesn’t exactly aim to redeem or empathize with either of them, it’s a blunt portrait of how their actions and behaviors were condoned and rewarded.

Doors suddenly seem to open for Trump, who is allowed a tax abatement with the help of Mayor Beame (who owes Cohn a favor) to construct the Grand Hyatt. Several years later, Mayor Ed Koch, however, doesn’t wish to extend the same grace for the Trump Tower. By this time, Trump has adopted the strategies of his mentor, who teaches him his three rules of success, the most important being never accepting defeat and never admitting the truth, which is akin to an episode of Seinfeld where George Costanza proclaims ‘it’s not a lie if you believe it.’ Sandwiched in this rise to prominence is Trump’s aggressive courtship and then dismissal of his first wife Ivana (Maria Bakalova) and the death of his older brother, Freddy (Charlie Carrick), an alcoholic who died at the age of forty-two from a heart attack (and who was also the black sheep of the family for pursuing a career as a pilot, seemingly too working class for his family’s elitist tastes). Eventually, as we all know, death comes calling for Cohn, the homophobic homosexual who would be abandoned by his minion and die of AIDS related complications in 1986.

What’s perhaps most interesting about The Apprentice, a nod to Trump’s hit reality television show which ran for fifteen seasons and which he served as host for all but one of them, is how Abbasi avoids presenting Trump as monstrous or villainous. Rather, he’s an ignorant, ambitious scion of privilege who is taught the ways of exploiting systems and resources for his own official gain. “Truth is malleable,” Cohn confirms. “Create your own reality.”

Stan migrates from playing Trump as an obsequious ingenue who transitions by leaning into speech patterns and mannerisms of the obnoxiously out-of-touch persona we’ve all become accustomed to, corrupted by power and eventually phasing out any who are no longer of use to him. As Cohn, Strong is quite captivating as the self-loathing, ruthless closet case whose truths weren’t quite as obscured as he would have liked at the time of his death. It’s odd watching a depiction of the AIDS crisis wherein Cohn and the white gay men who benefitted from his affections are relayed with a bluntness void of catharsis.

Considering Abbasi’s past work, an Iranian born director who resides in Copenhagen and has heretofore worked in genre with his past three features (most notable being 2018’s Border), this is a surprisingly sobering portrait on the making of a man who believes he is omnipotent. Choice soundtrack selections abound, including Spanish disco duo Bacarra and New Order, while DP Kasper Tuxen (The Word Person in the World, 2021) makes the film look as if we pulled out a VHS from the dustbin. Trump, it seems, believes a requisite skill is required to be a billionaire, something inherent in one’s genetics. The Apprentice clearly is not making a case for this, and his obliviousness to his surroundings suggests there’s not much different about him than any others similarly warped and corrupted by power. Maybe he’s born with it. Maybe it’s make-believe.

Reviewed on May 20th at the 2024 Cannes Film Festival – Competition. 120 Mins.

★★★½/☆☆☆☆☆

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

Episode 77 Transcript: American Masculinity as Seen From the Perspective of a Guy Whose Only Vision of American Masculinity is Supernatural and Bruce Springsteen

[intro guitar music]

G: Hello! My name is Grey. C: And my name is Crystal. G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, a Supernatural commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen the show several times... C: And I, someone who only knows the show through social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also, we are both Asian. G: Both Asian! For this episode, we will be discussing Season 4, Episode 17: "It's a Terrible Life," written by Sera Gamble, directed by James L. Conway.

C: This was pretty good, actually. Like, I had fun during, like, all of it, basically?

G: Yeah. [laughs] After you watched this episode, you messaged me, like, "Is Supernatural actually good?" [laughs]

C: "Or have I turned stupid now?" [G: For real.] [laughs] was the end of that message.

G: Yeah. And I don't think you have turned stupid. I think this is a good episode.

C: Yeah.

G: It's good. It's fine.

C: I think, like, "On the Head of a Pin" is like, a lot more interesting conceptually [G: Yes.], but like, I feel like, just in terms of like, pure enjoyment, I think this one wins, even though Cas isn't in it, which is like, so weird.

G: Well, I don't think it's weird given that like, the whole point of Zachariah is like, "I'm Cas's boss. I'm taking over now," you know? [C: Mm-hm.] But we do see Cas next episode, I believe, which is "Monster at the End of This Book."

C: Oh, shit! We're already meeting Chuck?

G: I think so. I think so. [C: Huh!] If I'm wrong, well, I'm so sorry. If I'm right, I'm keeping this entire bit.

C: No, I think you're right. 'Cause it's "Monster at the End of the Book," "Jump the Shark," "The Rapture," "When the Levee Breaks," "Lucifer Rising," right?

G: What do you know about this episode? Do you just know everything?

C: Not all of it. So I knew that, like, Dean was gonna be like, a gay Ken doll guy named Dean Smith put in some kind of like, an alternate reality by Zachariah, and that Dean Smith likes Project Runway and eating salads and isn't a hunter, and I know that Sam was gonna be like, an IT guy named Sam Wesson who wears a yellow shirt, and at some point he smashes up a computer, and at some point, blood explodes on his face. [G: Wonderful.] But like, I didn't know the case stuff, or like, fully what the point of Zachariah putting them in that situation was.

G: Yeah. It's very like, like, they do this pretty much the exact same thing, but like, a little bit different in- with Gabriel.

C: "Changing Channels."

G: What's that called? [both] "Changing Channels." Yeah. Cas is in that one.

C: Sam becomes the Impala. Yeah! And he has duct tape over his mouth, and he looks soo cute. Sam's a lot more interesting than Dean is, even though everyone focuses on Dean in this episode.

G: I have a feeling that wherever Dean is in his journey, he would still be this. Like, if you put him in this situation, he'd probably pretty much be the same. He'd be, you know, Ken doll Dean Smith. With Sam, I feel like depending on his journey in life, he could be a completely different person [C: Yeah.] in the world of well, corporate. [laughs] And I don't know. I just find it so interesting that they do this episode here at the time where Sam is the very most likely to act like he does.

C: Yeah.

G: I feel like, you know, Season 2, Season 1- Season 1 Sam specifically would not act like this, you know?

C: Yeah, only Season 4 Sam would be like, "We have to do hunting right now."

G: Yeah. This is like, the only moment in time where this episode would be true to their character. And yeah. I find that interesting. I think we have talked sometimes in other episodes where I go, like, "This episode feels actually like a more future seasons episode." Like, "I get the vibe that they're going for, but they should have went with it like, further down the line" or something. Or like, "Oh, this episode would actually fit better in Season 2 because it fits the themes of Season 2 better," you know, stuff like that. This one is like, a perfect example of "It could only work right here, right now," and I love it for that. [C: Yeah.] For Sam specifically, yeah. And like, I remember watching it- of course I remember this. But I forgot the way like, it made me feel when I first watched it, and now I remember. And it's like, I don't even know how to describe the feeling.

C: How did it make you feel?

G: I don't know. It's like, "Huh. What are they doing to him? [C laughs] Why are they making him act this way?" Like, it's not even like, "Why is Dean doing this?" It's more like, "What are they trying to tell me by making Dean do this?"

C: That they think it's like, funny to eat salads as a man, [laughs] I think.

G: Sera Gamble, what are you trying to tell me? And like, I'm sure that to be like, a writer in a big TV show- Is Supernatural a big TV show? I think it is. [C: Yeah.] Is it a big TV show? It's a network television show, I mean, it is.

C: [laughing] The American troops love it. [both laugh] God.

G: It's very in demand in like, Afghanistan or something. Yeah, it's big.

C: Oh, god it's so- I mean, yeah. Just one of those facts about Supernatural that really makes you sit down and be like, "That makes perfect sense, and I hate it."

G: I don't know. Sera Gamble has written good episodes [C: Yeah.], where like, she said things. [C laughs] And so here, it's like, "What is she telling me? What are you telling me, Sera Gamble?" To get into what Sera Gamble is trying to tell us, let us look into what Sera Gamble does tell us [C: Told us.] in the opening sequence of this episode. [C laughs]

-

G: We start off like, with an alarm clock going from 5:59 to 6 AM. It's Dean. He's getting up from the bed. He is in this like, very nice apartment.

C: Oh, the music is important.

G: What is the music? Can you tell me?

C: "A Well-Respected Man" by The Kinks. I don't know.

G: What's that mean?

C: I don't know. Just the vibe of the music is very like-

G: Jaunty?

C: Like, old-timey, like... Yeah, I don't know how to describe what the music is like exactly, but like, the vibe of it is just very like, "Look at this pleasant man in the 80s with his white picket fence."

G: He makes like, coffee. Is this the oatmeal? Is this the oatmeal that everyone has- oat milk that everyone has talked about?

C: Huh. I didn't pay attention.

G: He makes this with oat milk or something. Yeah, oh, no, he makes it with rice milk! I just saw. [C: Aww!] The box says rice milk. [C: Hell yeah.] And everyone to hell and back has pointed this out. I mean, a lot of the details with Dean in this episode [C: People are obsessed with.] has been pointed out. Yeah, people are obsessed with Dean this episode. I think for good reasons, it's just- Okay, later. [C laughs] Later. Later. Let's talk about the "It's just" later. [C laughs] But yeah. The outfit Dean is wearing is, he's wearing like, a striped shirt. The shirt is like, blue stripes. Like, dark blue and light blue stripes, and the color and the cuffs are like, starched white. And yeah, it's a crazy look, honestly. [laughing] Like, why are you wearing this, Dean Smith? [C laughs] I understand that you're like, representing a gay Ken doll in corporate America or whatever [C laughs] but like, why are you wearing this? I thought you were a Project Runway enthusiast! [C laughs] But he's also wearing suspenders that are like, blue and red over this, and a viciously red tie. Like, this tie is a warm-tone red. The undertones are orange. So yeah. Crazy. Crazy outfit.

C: Crazy. And his hair is all slicked back.

G: Oh, yeah! You know, it's crazy, 'cause like, I never think of Dean's hair as something that can be styled, and so when he styles it, I'm like, "Oh, you can do that? [C laughs] That's crazy. I thought it's just there. Like, I thought you wake up, and then nothing happens." I mentioned the apartment earlier as like, very nice, but like, you can also see out of the window that this is like, a high rise situation. Like, he's like, up in the building. Which, like, that does mean something, right? [laughs] Like, when you're higher up the building, it means something.

C: Yeah, yeah, the penthouse suite is like, more expensive. If, like, an apartment has like, affordable housing units, they're often on lower floors, etc.

G: Yeah. Yeah. And he enters his car, which is not the Impala. It's a silver-

C: Toyota Prius, which is- I think that's a brand of car that, like, I've heard of the past that people associate it with like, being like, a Bernie voter, or like, maybe just being a Democrat, like, who's not a Bernie voter. It's very like, a- it's a liberal car, is how people often view it.

G: What's a Republican car? What's a Conservative car? Like, a F-

C: The Impala. [both laughing]

G: With its un-PC smoke belching out of it? Yeah.

C: Yes! God! [laughing] Eric Kripke's a crazy, crazy, crazy man.

G: That's an actual thing Eric Kripke said, by the way.

C: I think Priuses are hybrids. I think that's part of why.

G: Even here? Even back here in 2000 whatever?

C: Yeah, even the 2009 is a hybrid.

G: That's fun. So it really is the like- PC, non-smoke-belching car. [C laughs] That's crazy.

C: Yeah, there's not that much smoke, yeah. Yeah. And that's a deliberate choice. And it's interesting! [laughs]

G: Yeah, it's silver. He goes into it, and the radio cuts off the music that's happening in the show with like, loud rock music. He changes the station to the AM radio, and it's NPR.

C: Yeah, which I think the cultural associations of that are also like, it's like, white liberals who have money, I think, that listen to NPR.

G: I mean, I'm not American. I don't know anything about your radio. But NPR is like, prominent in the podcasting blah blah blah. They have a lot of podcasts.

C: Yeah, they do.

G: Yeah, and I've not listened to a single one. But I know they exist. [C laughs] Pat on the back to me.

C: Yeah. Gold star.

G: It's my genuine responsibility as a podcast to know about the podcasting-

C: Yeah, to understand the industry.

G: Yeah, exactly. [laughing]

C: Yeah, to understand our competitors, NPR. [G laughing]

G: Our competitors, NPR, yeah.

C: Their market share shall diminish the more we advertise.

G: [laughing] When we start making $20 a month, it's over for NPR. [both laughing]

So Dean nods and does a little smile at this wonderful morning news. [C: Yeah.] And then he drives off.

C: Wouldn't anything on NPR during this time be about the housing crash? I feel like he wouldn't be having a good time. His portfolio has gone entirely down the drain!

G: [laughing] Is this the first time they've ever mentioned the economy in Supernatural?

C: Yeah, I think so. [laughs]

G: We see him head out of the elevator in the company Sandover Bridge and Iron. Are companies really like this? It's crazy.

C: Like what?

G: I don't know. [laughs] You're a working person. What is working like? I've never worked in an office.

C: You go in and you sit at your cubicle. [G: That's crazy.] And then you have tasks that someone told you to do earlier that week, and then you work on the tasks. And then sometimes you message the person who told you to do it with like, questions or updates.

G: Yeah. Well, Dean's doing a good job of that. He is Dean Smith in this universe. We see it on his door. Director of Sales and Marketing.

C: Another fun thing is that they get to the line in "A Well-Respected Man" that goes "and he likes his fags the best" about cigarettes [G: Yeah.], but [laughs] they do play that on the show. [G: Hell yeah!] And I'm sure Sera Gamble was having a little giggle to herself about it.

G: And so are all the Tumblrians.

C: Yeah, for different reasons but also the same reason. [G: Yeah.] But I guess the important things are he's on the phone a lot. At some point he's talking to someone, and he's like, "When are they gonna make a show like Project Runway again?"

G: Well, when are they gonna do a show like Project Runway again?

C: I've never seen Project Runway. What is it? Fashion, I'm assuming?

G: I also have never seen it.

C: Is it a competition?

G: I think it's like, they like, design clothes on the spot, and they make them on the spot.

C: Nice.

G: Personally, I'm an Asia's Next Top Model person.

C: Oh, okay, yeah, so that's the detail. And then I think the other detail is that he's on the phone with someone, and he's like, excited about doing a juice cleanse, and he says that like, oh, like, he hardly ever hits the gym, he's getting a bit flabby now, blah blah blah blah blah.

G: You know what's crazy?

C: Yeah.

G: Around the time I first watched this episode, that juice cleanse was still popular. Like, it was like, already a couple of years after this episode came out. Have you ever heard of this one? The like, master cleanse?

C: No, I haven't. This is a real thing?

G: Yes. I like, I have done it. [C: Oh.] In a like, [laughs] family pressure kind of way. [C: Aw. I'm sorry.] Yeah. It's like, they put cayenne pepper, and like, lemon, and like, a sweetener. To us, it was like, molasses or something. I think other people use maple syrup. And it's like, you mix it up, and then you drink that throughout the day. I don't think it does anything. And also, like, cayenne, like, on water, basically is like, disgusting. So, horrible. Don't do it.

C: Wait, okay, juice cleanses are supposed to be like, you don't eat anything?

G: Yes.

C: You just drink that?

G: You're supposed to drink that, yeah. [C: Man. Why would- don't do that. Also, especially not when you're like, a young child. Highly unrecommended. [C: Yeah.] But yeah, when he said it, he was like- did he mention the cayenne pepper, like, in the conversation?

C: Yeah, he was like, "Okay, like, I'm gonna take notes on this. This is like, cayenne pepper and lemon juice? And you said maple syrup?" Something like that.

G: Yeah. And I was like, "I know exactly what you're talking about."

C: Yeah. Also, also, at some point, Zachariah comes in and is like, "Good job. You're like, going places." Blah blah blah.

G: That's literally not true. [laughs] That's a lie, he's lying to you.

C: That's true. The point of this episode is that he's lying to Dean. [G: Yeah.] And Sam, but we don't get to see that reveal, which makes me sad.

G: Yeah! What happens- I mean, are we going to acknowledge that next episode?

C: I doubt it. [laughs]

G: It's just- It's frustrating to me that all of the reveal is like, Dean. And I was expecting it to cut back to Sam-

C: Yeah, you also put Sam in this situation! Like, what was your reasoning for that one?

G: No, because I guess the point is that it's not Sam who needed the convincing. It's Dean.

C: Yeah, but it's also like, why did you put Sam here then?

G: I don't know.

C: So he could do some of the convincing?

G: Maybe they put in.

G: I think maybe Dean was put here first, and he was just like, really enjoying the rice milk lattes. [C: Yeah.] And they were like, "Okay, we need to like, have- we need an instigator in this place. [laughs] Let's bring Sam Winchester in." And that's why Sam is also here. [C: Perhaps.] And also, it's an actual case, which is quite fun. That's not the case for, like, "Changing Channels" or whatever. That's not an actual case. [C: Yeah.] This is an actual case, which is- I don't know. It's like, fun, because obviously, they do a lot of like, roleplaying as FBI or whatever or- Do they roleplay as theater people? No, they don't. They roleplay as like, electricians, [laughs] and Sam mentions being a theater kid. Well, close enough! But yeah, it's never like, high positions like this, you know? So it's fun to see it for Dean, that he's like, a fancy fancy little guy.

C: Yeah. He's supposedly good at his job, even though all Zachariah did was- like, what did Zachariah do to Dean's memory exactly? Like, did he give him like, an MBA inside his head and then take it away later?

G: I mean, I think that's also what they did to people who get MBAs. [both laughing] Does he have lunch in this scene?

C: It's not here yet. I think he eats salad later. So I guess we can talk about what the fuck Sera Gamble was trying to say here.

G: No, I think let's talk about the Sam bit first.

C: Yeah, I guess it's important.

G: Is it? No, I mean just to end the scene.

C: It's important because it's like, homophobic.

G: [laughs] I mean, yeah. Well. And so Dean is heading out. He's back in the elevator. We just see him for the longest time, like, the camera is just on him. And then, like, I don't know, it zooms out or pans to the other side of the elevator, and Sam is there. And he is wearing a little yellow shirt, some slacks. [C: Yeah.] He looks super cute. He's just staring at Dean, and Dean is like, looking back like, a bit apprehensively, and Sam just goes, "Do I know you?" [laughing] which is so funny. He literally is the one doing the staring, and he's like, "Do I know you?"

C: Well, he's just explaining why he's doing the staring.

G: Yeah, I suppose so. Dean's like, "I don't think so." And Sam's like, "I'm sorry, man. You just look really familiar." And Dean goes, "Oh, save it for the health club, pal."

C: [laughing] Save it for the health club.

G: What does that mean?

C: I think he's talking about like, circlejerks in gym steam rooms.

G: [laughs] I love it. Okay, now I know what you mean about that section-

C: Yeah, I mean, yeah. A lot of places are like, places that were like, common for gay men to have anonymous sex, and I think that, like, health clubs were like, one of them.

G: Oh, oh! This is like, an actual thing people say?

C: He's referencing a semi-well-known sexual practice, [G: Ahh.] but I don't think that the phrase like, "Save it for the health club" is like, said.

G: But like, Sam would understand that that's what he's saying.

C: Yes.

G: Okay, got it. Because I literally didn't. I don't know what the fuck he was saying here.

C: Oh. Well, now you know!

G: Now I know, yeah.

C: I mean, you could tell later that Dean-

G: I mean, yeah, Dean says, like, "I already told you, I'm not into-" Yeah.

C: Yeah. So, Ms. Sera Gamble, what have we here?

You know, just the first basic layer where there's like, no issues, are just like, "These are the opposite of Dean's interest, so we're just really showing how like, this guy is different from him." The second layer, right, is like, Dean encapsulates like, a form of masculinity that is desirable, and this character of Dean Smith fails to meet those standards and is laughable because of them, I think, is the next thing she's saying.

G: I mean, I need you to know that whatever complexity you're talking about here, I do not understand, [C laughs] because my only vision of like, American masculinity is literally Supernatural and Bruce Springsteen. [both laughing] Like, I'm not even fucking kidding. Like, I'm being so for real right now. Yeah, I have no idea what the typical, like, American masculine corporate whatever is.

C: I mean, the thing is, you know, like, the song choice, like, "a well-respected man about town." In some ways, Dean is like-

G: The well-respected man.

C: - the suburban dream of, like, like, a USAmerican man like, in terms of, you know, he has like, money, and he has an office job, and so on. So like, I guess- I don't know. The vibe is like- it's like, gay to be like that? But yeah, I don't know. She's saying it's gay to have an office job. I feel like some of it is that Supernatural- hunters are like, the working class, saving like, white suburban America, right? [G: Yeah.] And like, by being that, there's like, a certain kind of working class masculinity that they're meant to encapsulate. And they protect working class- or, sorry, middle class America, but like, mostly the women of middle class America. And it's because the men of middle class America are incapable of doing so because they're emasculated by having office jobs and not going to the gym? [laughs] Like, is sort of the vibe of a lot of Supernatural. And this is just like, hammering that home.

G: The only other like, input I have about this is I feel like a lot of people have the preconceived notion that, like, only rich people get to be gay. [C: Yes.] Or at least gay in a way that is like, flamboyant. Like, for men, specifically, only rich men get to be feminine. This is not even feminine. Just like, whatever this is. Whatever they're trying to say here. Only rich men get to be this kind of gay. [C: Yes.] I genuinely think if you think that that like, you need to go out and meet gay people. [laughs] Like, I don't- I don't know what else to tell you. You need to meet gay people.

C: Yeah, I agree.

G: And not in like, a fancy party either. Like, [laughing] go meet people on the street or something. I don't know.

C: Yeah, yeah. I think that that is definitely what's going on there. Right. And then, also, like, the working class masculinity is also like, tied to like, being a metaphorical, like, military guy or cop guy, etc etc, which, like, is very different from like, this office job, director of sales and marketing.

Also I think the fucking juice cleanse thing, I think, really bothered me. Specifically when Dean's like, "Oh, yeah, I like, haven't been to the gym in ages. Carrying a little bloat around myself." Like, we're supposed to like, be like, "That's bad." And I feel like we're supposed to view the juice cleanse as both like, a class indicator, which, like, Sera Gamble, conflates with like, a lack of masculinity indicator. And it's also like, a "How dare you take the easy way out to become thin."

G: I did not think of it like that at all.

C: Huh. I feel like I read it as like, "The real Dean is like, muscular 'cause he works out and like, saves people and is a hero, and like, people who try to become fit through juice cleanses are like, lazy and terrible." "It's a sedentary lifestyle, my man," as Dean says. And like, I mean, juice cleanses are bad, but like, not for that reason. It's- yeah.

G: [laughing] Yeah. They're not bad because they're gay. [both laugh] Oh, god. I guess I read that one more as like- I don't know. 'Cause there is a lot of like, talk about Dean Winchester and his relationship with food, as opposed to Sam and his relationship to food, which, like, later seasons, we can really sink our teeth into. But like, for now, what we see is Dean of the two of them is the one who is more of an avid eater. And like, when there's food in front of him, he wants to eat it. And like, you know, people, many people have done the like, "It's because when he was a kid."

C: Yeah, food insecurity.

G: I think that is a very- Yeah, food insecurity. That is a very reasonable way to read his character. Here, having him be very picky with his food-

C: Yeah, is it about how this Dean didn't grow up with food insecurity, so-

G: Yeah, this Dean is interacting to the food in this way because he has a different set of experiences with food. [C: Yeah.] I do think that could have been interesting if it wasn't presented as a "haha!"

C: "It's gay," yeah.

G: "But it's so gay of him to eat the salad." I mean, it's so odd to me- I think I've said to you before, but like, I don't think Dean even eats chicken in Supernatural. Like, [laughing] I think Supernatural thinks eating chicken is gay. [both laugh]

C: Yeah, yeah. "Well, you know, the hormones they put in those things." God. [laughs]

G: Good lord. I feel like the later stuff with Sam, with the Sam being vegan but they're not allowed to say it. [C laughs] Is that homophobic? I think it's coming from a different but similar place.

C: I think it's coming from the same place basically.

G: Yeah. No, I just think, like, "Oh, maybe like, around that time, there would be a different you know, sentiment towards-"

C: Perception of being vegan? I don't think so. When he comes to, he goes like, "Oh my god, I'm so hungry." So like, he was hungry the whole time as Dean Smith, though, right?

G: Yes.

C: So I think it's also meant to be like, suppressing your true desire [laughs] to be a hunter

thing that they're doing?

G: That's crazy. So like, Dean Smith's true desire is to throw away the gay corporate life and become a true-blooded, red-blooded American hunter? [laughing]

C: Yes. I mean, that's what Zachariah says, isn't it? Like, isn't that the point of the episode? Like, "You could never be happy as not a hunter, because you'd have to be gay." [laughing] Like-

G: [laughing] "You can either be a gay employee or a straight hunter." Like-

C: Zachariah literally says that "you get to fornicate with women" [G laughs] as part of like, his like, pitch for why Dean should be a hunter. [laughing] It literally is like, you can be a gay employee or straight hunter. [G laughing] Like, why would he bring that up if it wasn't like, "And you were so gay when you were Dean Smith."

G: [laughing] "And you were having sex with men when you were Dean Smith. [C laughs] And now you get to have sex with women." Oh, god.

C: Yeah. But like, I guess that also makes what he says to Sam in the elevator interesting. Like, is he- I don't think they're like, "This character is truly gay." They're just like, "He's not straight enough to be able to have sex with women," but like, they still have to be like, "But he's not gay!" Or like, he's repressed? Like, what are they going for?

G: I don't know. Like, when he tells Sam off later, what he says is like, "I already told you I'm not into..." or something. No, yeah. He says, like, "Look, man, I told you, I'm not into the-" and it's like, 'cause if he says, "I'm into," period, I feel like that could be like, "into men." [C: Mm.] And also now that you say the like, health club thing, it's like, maybe it's like, "not into like, casual stuff"?

C: [laughing] That's so funny. [both laughing] "I would only want to be in a loving, monogamous relationship."

G: When he said it, when he said this line specifically- like, minus the health club, because I did not understand the first time, but when he said this, I was like, "What is he saying there?" So I like, paused it and played it again.

C: I think the "the" is just "the homosexual lifestyle" [laughing] would be how he would end that. [G laughs]

G: But I was like, "What is he saying here?" And also, I don't know. [laughing] Also because, just like, Sam's conversation later is like, so odd. "I've been having dreams." Like, okay, Sam.

C: Also, I know we're using like, "gay" and "unmasculine" sort of interchangeably in this, and I feel like primarily, what Sera Gamble's saying is "unmasculine" and like, "gay" as like, a side dish to that, but like, they're all mixed up together, and I think that it's- I don't know. It is the same thing in Sera Gamble's mind in many ways.

G: Yeah, this is like, the fucking difficulty with talking about Supernatural. Because we'll talk about something, and sometimes I feel like "But I understand that there's nuance!" but like, you have to understand that the people writing this, [C laughs] I don't think they understand that there is nuance. So like, we're forced to interface with it from their perspective of having no nuance. Yeah.

C: Yeah, it is- We do usually classify like, "Oh, you're so unmasculine" as homophobia on our spreadsheet [G: Yeah.] when I think it could just as easily be misogyny.

G: I mean, every single thing we do that, I'm like, "That's misogyny, right?"

C: But like, also, homophobia is misogyny also. It's all together.

G: Everything is terrible, yeah.

C: Yeah. So that's that opening.

G: That's Dean. And now we have Sam.

-

C: We get the splash screen, and it's Sam's turn!

G: [laughing] It's so funny because, like, it's such a weird transition to this splash screen because they play like, a little like, "haha!" funny music after Dean goes out, and then it splashes screen to like, the screaming and the angel wings and whatever.

C: The scariest thing one could be is gay but not.

G: Exactly. Dude, if you're going to be gay, just be gay. [both laugh] If I met Dean Smith in real life, I would say, "Dude, if you're gonna be gay, just be gay." [both laughing]

C: Wait, what's that thing that that girl says in Skam? Like, "It's 2015. No one cares if you're gay anymore. Just come out!" [G laughing] God, what an awful show!

G: [laughing] It's a wonderful show, everybody should watch it! But like, only in 2015. If you're gonna watch it now, don't do it. Like, go back in time to 2015 and watch it then.

C: I mean, it's not bad. It's just also very bad. [G laughing] And also like, terrible, so. [laughs]

It's Sam's turn, he's in this like, crowded office space in a cubicle. Every time it's like, Sam's turn, there's like, a transition shot of like, a printer and then a pencil sharpener going. So Sam's working IT, so, you know. He also has this vampire bobblehead that he keeps tapping with his pencil. He calls himself Sam Wesson, and this is supposed to be a reference to Smith and Wesson.

G: The guns.

C: The gun manufacturing company. Yeah. Crazy.

G: I mean, Winchester is also a gun.

C: Right. Right. Basically, on all his calls that we will see in the future, he just goes like, "Did you try turning it off and then on again?" and that always works, and he's clearly very annoyed with his job. Sam Winchesters will want a normal life and then despise a normal life. [G: Yeah.] There's like, another guy around named Ian, and he's not wearing the uniform. I guess he's like, Sam's friend, and sort of like, meant to be like, a sleazeball character or whatever.

G: He's supposed to be Sam's Dean, I feel like, right now.

C: Hmm. Yeah.

G: The- I was gonna say "the something to Sam's straight man," but like, you know what I mean. [laughs] The gay man to Sam's straight man. [C laughs] But you know what I mean. Like, he's supposed to be like, "Haha!"

C: Yeah, "Haha, he steals office supplies and wants to fuck people, and Sam has to go, 'Nuh-uh!'"

G: And Sam is the annoying killjoy [C laughing] that everyone is mad at because he's so gloomy. [laughing] I love Sam; please don't persecute me!

C: [laughing] I still can't believe that like, two episodes ago, you were like, "I hate how angsty Sam was in Season 1." What? Like, his girlfriend died. [G laughs]

They have a conversation where, like, Ian's like, "What do you think of Mimi? Like, I kinda wanna hit that." And Sam says, "That's totally age-appropriate." And both of us had the same reaction where we're like, [G: "Noo..."] "Oh, fuck! Is she like, a high school intern? What's this?" But then the guy makes it clear that Mimi is, in fact, like, a senior citizen, and that that is Sam's issue.

G: He goes, "There's a MILF there. [C: "There's a MILF there, Sam." I just know it. Maybe even a GMILF." [laughing] He's just like me for real. [C laughing]

C: Were people saying GMILF like, to separate them from like, GPILFs? Like, I've only heard GILF. Good to have this insight into 2009.

G: Sam is always involved with a MILF somewhere. [C laughs]

C: Yeah, somewhere, somehow, there's a place for them.

G: Yeah. Unfortunately, he's MILFtose intolerant, so RIP.

C: [laughs] RIP. So they get up for a coffee break, and they pass by Paul. Ian invites Paul along, but Paul is very focused on his laptop, just typing, typing, says like, "There's absolutely no time for this. I'm working." Ian explains that Paul might be afraid because he got busted for looking at porn on the Internet and got sent to HR about it. So we find out later that Sam has only been here for three weeks.

G: Why are they so close?

C: Do you make friends this fast? Yeah, I mean, I know that I'm like, a weirdo, and like, literally the only one in my job position who eats lunch alone, [G laughs] but like, [laughs] like, do people make friends this fast? Does this happen?

G: Me?

C: Yeah, or just people.

G: Yeah, I do.

C: Oh, congrats! [G laughs] I do not. I just like- they've gotta be buddies for like, months.

G: The thing about me is I do not make friends slow, but I do have like, a quicker turnover. Especially when like, it's work friends. I mean, obviously, with like, friends friends, that's not the case. But like, if we're buddies at like, this kind of setting, it's like, okay, we'll spend one day getting to know each other, and then, like, after three days, I'm like, tired, and I don't want to talk to you. [laughing] So mean!

C: Damb.

G: But yeah. Your complaint is like, "How is he here only three weeks, and he already has a buddy?" And I'm like-

C: "How is he not already sick of this guy?"

G: - "How is he here three weeks, and he still has a buddy? [both laugh] Like, why is it still this guy?"

C: For realsies. I don't know. We've talked about Sam's capacity to make friends in the past, and like, it does seem important to me that, like, he's here and he's like, friends with Ian. They seem to have a rapport with Paul as well. And like, Dean's like, alone in his office. Like, he does have that one guy that he talks to in the montage about Project Runway, I guess, but like, they don't give him like, a friend character.

G: A buddy, yeah.

C: Yeah, but they give Sam a friend character here and in "After School Special." [G: Yeah.] Interesting stuff. I'm sad that Sam's ability- like, Sam, like, is good at making friends, but he's just never [G: In a situation.]- Now, he's never in a scenario where he can make friends the way he's good at making friends. Because Dean views like, his friends as his responsibility. [G: Yeah.] Like, hunting situations where it's life or death, it's probably easier for him to form a connection. But like, Sam just wants casual chitchat that becomes sharing feelings later.

G: Yeah. I keep on saying "buddy" because like, that's that's the vibe. And like, I feel for Sam, like, a lot of his friends are like, his buddies. Like, to like, hang out with in this way.

C: Yeah. His friends come from stability, like, just seeing the same people every day.

G: Yes! That's one. Yeah. I don't know. I think about the fact that, like, with Henriksen, for example, like, Dean and Henriksen were able to connect because it was like, a-

C: They were fighting for their lives.

G: Yeah, it was a fierce and like, intense moment. But every time Sam is like, in an intense moment with someone, I don't think it ever turns into like, a personal connection. It's always like a "I'm trying to do my job. I'm trying to get in here and then out of here."

C: Yeah. He and Eileen only became friends in like, quiet moments. During the actual banshee hunting like, there's not much going on there.

G: Yeah. And also, he wasn't saving Eileen. That's an equal.

C: I'd say Dean and Henriksen were fighting side by side, though.

G: Yes, I suppose that's true. I think I was also like, lumping in Dean's other stuff where he like, in Episode 3, that lady and him, whatever whatever.

C: Do you mean Andrea? Or do you mean in Episode 2 with him and Haley?

G: No, the "Dead in the Water" kid mom. [laughs] The "Dead in the Water" one.

C: Andrea.

G: Yeah, Andrea. The Andrea of Andreaverse.

C: Mm-hm. [laughs]

C: Yeah. And in those cases, like, Dean also has like, a more chummy relationship with the people that they're saving 'cause he is able to have fun in the job. Like, it sounds so stupid, but like, he's able to be like, goofy in the job, while Sam [C: Right, Sam isn't.] is a lot more like, "Let's get in here, and then let's get out of here."

C: Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, Sam's still trying to maintain some kind of work-life separation, I guess. [laughs]

G: Isn't it so interesting that, like, I don't know, they put them in here- I mean, I'm sure later, we'll talk about the like, capitalist implications of like, "They put them in a corporate setting, and then suddenly, their entire life is in the office." But the thing is like, they keep on telling Dean like, "You're made for this. You're made for this."

C: You could just be a mechanic, bro.

G: But, like, they give him nothing else outside of this office, you know? Like, outside of his pristine apartment, his pristine car, and his pristine office, he has no life. He has no buddies. He hasn't talked to his family. He has no one, and he has like, no hobbies. You know, there's nothing. And with Sam, it's the same thing, too. And obviously, what Zachariah is doing is unfair, but like, it's extra unfair with the fact that he's saying like, "You do not like this life because you do not like this job" when, like, the life and the job is not like, the same thing.  [C: Yeah.] The job is not the life, but like, he insists that it is, "And because you don't like to sit on your ass and take phone calls, then it's over for you."

C: Yeah, like, "There's no other option for you in this world."

G: [laughs] Yeah.

C: Like, there is, in fact.

G: Yeah! Exactly.

C: It's a strange thing, but I don't know. I guess it speaks to what Sera Gamble thinks that the two ways of being alive are. [G laughing]

G: The two ways of being alive is, as we've said, gay employee or straight hunter. [C laughs]

C: You know, Ian steals some office supplies, and Sam's like, "No! Don't do that." Like, come on, Sam.

G: There's also like, you can see at the back of Sam, there's like, a microwave, and on top of it, there's a note that says, "Do not heat your fish here. It stinks. Thank you." And like, I thought this was just like, a passing like, detail, and I was like, "Oh, that's super fun that they have that on top of their microwave. Like, it brings a little life to this place." And then later, it does become kind of relevant because they use it in [C: Yeah, irony.] the gore scene.

C: So Ian asks if Sam had any of those dreams lately. Which okay, we learn later that Dean has a sister. I feel like Sam Wesson is an only child.

G: Of course, yeah.

C: Yeah, like, he really has no one else to tell this to besides his [G laughs] three-week long friend, who is mostly annoying. Ian's being mocking. He's saying that hearing about the dreams is the highlight of his day. "Don't hold out on me." And Sam's like, "Ugh, I never should have told you in the first place. You're just gonna be a dick about it." And the thing is, the dream that he says is not even weird. Like, if someone told me they had that dream- I mean, if someone in my world told me they had that dream, I'd be like, "Watching a little too much Supernatural, are we?" [G laughs] But like, if there was no Supernatural, I'd just be like, "Yeah, okay."

G: Nice one, dude. Yeah. [C: Yeah.] Are you thinking of making that into a book? [laughing] If not, I think you should just forget about it completely. But go on. [C laughs]

C: Yeah, but apparently, Ian thinks that this is like, absolutely hilarious that Sam dreamt that he saved a grim reaper named Tessa from demons. Ian's just laughing his ass off at this pretty normal dream and is going like, "How much DnD did you play when you were a kid?" Ugh. If we were people who knew things more, we could have the discussion about like, what Sam plays as in DnD, but I only play non-DnD TTRPGs, and you think that playing DnD [G laughs] is a very funny, laughable, perhaps even piteous thing to do, [G laughing] as immortalized in the title for our "Red Sky at Morning" episode.

G: Well.

C: So, I mean, just going off of my like, zero knowledge, I think that paladin seems like the most obvious choice, but I think it's just because I don't know other classes well enough. But yeah.

G: I mean, the only thing I know about DnD is I think Danica told me like, "It's a pity you don't play DnD 'cause you like to do the voices." [G laughs] [C: That's true.] So now I know that you do voices in that thing. [laughing] Except you don't, 'cause you're a loser, even within the loser circle. [both laughing]

C: Yeah, that part is true. [G laughing] I have no arguments against that.

G: You have no protestations. Yeah.

C: Okay, Sam starts having like, a bunch of flashbacks of things that happened in Supernatural of him fighting and things. And then it ends with Dean killing a vampire.

-

G: So we're back at the elevator, and this time, there's like, a couple other people with Sam and Dean. And then when the people head out, Sam and Dean are left, and I feel like Sam is like, trying to not look at Dean, and Dean is like, "Please don't look at me," [C laughs] like, that's the vibe of the scene. And then finally, Sam is just like, "Um. Hi. Can I ask you a question?" And then, Dean's like, as I've said earlier, like, "Look, man. I told you I'm not into the-" blah blah blah. And Sam's like, "Oh, dude! Come on, I'm not either." [laughing] He's so funny.

C: That's a lie. He's lying to us. [G laughs]

G: And he just goes, "I just wanna ask you one question. What do you think about ghosts?" Dean is just like, "I don't know what you're on about, but I've not given it much thought." And Sam starts asking about vampires. And then he's like, "I've been having some weird dreams lately. [C laughs] You know what I mean?" And Dean's like, "No." [laughs] And Sam's like, "So you've never had any... weird dreams?" And then Dean's like, "Fuck off!" and then he leaves. [laughs] He goes like, "You know, you're an oversharer," and then he leaves.

C: Yeah. I do think it's unfortunate that they're throwing bones to the Wincesties this episode. Ugh. They do the same thing in "The French Mistake," is the thing. If this was just a one-off, I'd be like, "Fine." But it seems like every time you put them in a new scenario, they're like, "But what if it was gay? But it wasn't. But what if it was? But it wasn't. What if it was incest? But it wasn't." You know? [laughs]

G: Yeah. It is still so wild to me that in fucking "Fan Fiction," Episode 10- Season 10. I don't know. I forgot. Oh, 10.05. Like, they do a bit where they talk about incest, and then they do a bit where they talk about Destiel, and Jensen Ackles does the camera- the breaking the fourth wall camera look at the "Destiel." [C laughs] And like, we just talked about incest! [both laughing] Like, what's going on in this thing? Like, if this is homophobia, the incest is also gay. [both laughing] Like, what's happening?

C: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Being gay is only okay if you're related, guys. [G laughing] That's what Jensen Ackles. He said this to me in my dreams.

G: [laughing] Supernatural is such an odd, odd show. But yeah.

C: I think for some reason, they're like, "The Wincest fans are like, the real fans. They've been with us since the beginning, so we don't wanna alienate them. But like, the Destiel fans are casuals, so we don't care if we alienate them." That's like, sort of how it feels a lot of the time.

G: Yeah, I suppose. When I watch Supernatural, like, I do tend to just go, "And that's just not something I'm going to think about [C: Yeah.] throughout this journey of watching Supernatural." [C: Yeah.] Which, now that you've pointed it out, I'm like, I remembered. [C laughs] Like, people will listen to this and be like, "Haha!"

C: "And they're not technically related in this one!"

G: I do think it's massively unfortunate, because- like, I'll talk about it in a scene later, but like, I did start crying in this episode [C: Oh!] because I was like, [emotional] "And they're literally brothers, and they're like, literally siblings!" and blah blah blah. [laughs] [C: Yeah.] And like, I don't know. Like, sometimes I forget that Sam and Dean are like- they're family. [C: Mm.] And like, that actually does mean something. Like, that's not just a word that- Because Supernatural does throw the word "family"-

C: #SPNFamily!

G: Yeah, like, they throw it around so much that a lot of times, it loses its meaning. And this is like, the first time in a long time that I am able to look at Sam and Dean and go, "They are siblings, and that means something to them and to me." And so now that I'm like, "Oh, yeah. And people think this is an incest thing," [C laughs] I am like, "Agh! Come on!" Because it's such a good like, episode in terms of like, their family relationship, and I just think it's unfortunate that, you know, people look at that and then turn it into that.

C: Yeah. And that Sera Gamble looks at that and is like, "I wanna give those people something."

G: "Let's cater to it, baby!"

C: Ugh. I wish this was more of a Sam episode. He's so main character-coded here! We haven't had him having like, prophetic dreams in so long [G: I know!], and now, like, it's back, baby! He's having visions. He's asking off-putting questions in the elevator. Like, he's so YA protag.

G: [laughs] Exactly. But he's not gay enough. The thing is like, with Dean, they can do this like, "Ah-ha, we're emasculating him, he's doing gay shit. It's funny, isn't it?" But I think the moment they do it with Sam, they're like, "Okay, that's not actually funny." Like, I think they realize that it's not funny when they do it to Sam. [C: Huh.] Because Sam is like, fine with that shit. [C: Right.] Imagine this episode, but it's a- They switch roles. Sam is the corporate guy, drinking rice milk coffee, and talking about Project Runway and diet cleanse.

C: Yeah, I'd just be like, "Good for him."

G: And it's like, "Damn. He's living his life. [laughs] Like, okay!"

C: "This is what he wants. Good."

G: Yeah. [laughs] Like, they realize that like, "Actually, that's a completely fine way to be a man. Okay." And so like, they need to do it to Dean.

C: Yeah. They had Dean go to Stanford. [G laughs] The lesson of this episode is that going to Stanford makes you gay. And like, it does. [G laughs]

G: They literally said, "And Dean Winchester, you will live your life as if you were Sam, and that automatically makes you gay." [both laughing] Like, okay. So what does this say about Sam Winchester? Have we thought about that?

C: Well, apparently, he's "not either." So.

-

G: So Sam is back in his cubicle. He is still doing the customer service thing. But now, he DGAF about it. He really is just on the phone saying his usual script while he's drawing vampires. [C: Yeah.] And also, I mean, first of all, the drawings? Beautiful.

C: Yeah, no, wait. So why is Sam Wesson so good at drawing when we have seen Sam's fucking sketch artist attempt in "Bedtime Stories"?

G: No, but the thing is, we've seen Sam draw a tree, and that was a nice tree. Pretty decent. [C: That's true.] So like, [C: He can only draw things from his dreams really well.] is Sam only capable of drawing nice things from his dreams? But if it's a man in front of him going, "And he has a Wile E. Coyote tattoo," [C laughs] he's like, "I'm lost. I don't know what that is. I don't know what an arm is, even."

C: Yeah. He's so Tenth Doctor during "Family of Blood"-coded.

G: While he is doing this, he goes up to his computer, goes to the website- [laughs] wait, I'm going to actually go to that scene so I can see what the fuck that website is. [C laughs]

C: Yeah, this is a Twilight reference, right?

G: Yeah. He is in Search the Web, and he is searching the web for "vampire."

C: He capitalizes vampire [G laughing] in his search, which is so important to me.

G: Sam is typing vampire, capital V, in Search the Web [C laughs], and like, a bunch of results come out. And it's literally just like, "all about vampires," "history of vampires," "what's a vampire?" [both laughing] Like, he saw them in his head, you know? Like, he knows the specific type of vampire that he needs to look for. He knows that shit doesn't look like Dracula. [C: Yeah.] So like, just look up. And also, honestly, if I was Sam Winchester, and I had no prior knowledge to supernatural creatures and what they look like in the Supernatural universe whatsoever, and I see, like, just some guy with fangs, I'll be like, "I don't know what that is. Probably not a vampire, though." [both laugh]

C: That's true. Because those guys don't look like Draculas, so like.

G: They don't go "blah-blah blah-blah" or whatever that fucking Hotel Transylvania vampire says. [C laughs] I've watched that movie so many times.

C: He said, "Jonathan, you are fucking my daughter." [G laughs]

G: Yeah. You better be. [laughing] Is that the one?

C: It has "yeas" in it, right?

G: No, I think that's the girl one, the one that's like, "Are you lesbian?" "You better be!"

C: Yeah, "You better be!" is part of the girl one. It has "yeas" in it.

G: [laughs] We will just say anything in this podcast. [C laughs]

There's literally one that's like, "Forum: are goths vampires?" which is so funny to me. [C laughs] 'Cause they literally did like, gothify the vampires in like, the first episode where they have vampires in this show.

C: True.

G: Sam just keeps on looking around, looking around. He hears like, a little distressed noise coming from Paul's cubicle. He stands up and like, looks over and like, is like, "Hey, what happened to you?" And Paul's like, "My screen is just frozen. My entire day's work is just completely gone." And Sam's like, trying to be like, "Well, did you back it up?" And like, I know that this is supposed to be like, "And Paul is being so short with Sam right now. Like, he's really pissed, and he's being like, very annoyed at Sam questioning him like this when it's a completely reasonable question." But honestly, if somebody asked me that, I was like, "Fuck you!" Like, "You think you know better than me? [C laughs] Is it your data that was lost, you fucking asshole?"

C: "You'd think if I had backed it up, I wouldn't be screaming and crying right now. Obviously."

G: Yeah. Like, "Fuck you, dude!"

C: Also, earlier, Ian got an email to be called up to HR.

G: Oh, yeah. Paul stays behind in the office, and he is just entering like, a code into the computer again and again and again. But yeah, there are no files found. And he just goes, "All that work gone. Failed." And there's like, something that possesses him. Not literally, but like, you know, cold air, blah blah blah! And then he gets up, walks out, and there you have it. He sticks his head into the microwave.

C: The kills this episode are pretty fun.

G: It's pretty good!

C: They're, I'd say, a bit grislier than like, at least the most recent Supernatural episodes so far. But like, they're all like, quite creative. I enjoy them. We get to see the electricity zapping along his forehead a bit, and there's like, little spots of blood that form before. And then we like, fully see, Ian's bleeding out.

G: Yeah, that was crazy. That was crazy.

C: Yeah. Yeah.

G: You know what's funny is like, I have that fear of like, the elevator cutting me in half.

C: Oh, the elevator scene. Yes, that was fun. Uh-huh.

G: And I don't know where I got it from. [C: Maybe here?] And now I know. No, have I told you that I also have the fear of like, being beheaded by the fucking trunk of the car?

C: Yeah, the trunk of the car, because of Supernatural. Uh-huh.

G: [laughs] I will have deep-rooted fears in life, and I'll be like, "I think I just got that from nowhere," and then I watch an episode of Supernatural, and I'm like, "Nope, I got it from Supernatural."

C: That you did. We cut to the next day, and, you know, people are taking Paul's body out, and Sam and Dean are both watching this happen, and they look at each other briefly. And Dean's like, "Something about this doesn't seem right" to like, a fellow coworker. So he goes back to his office, and he starts looking at the file for Paul. I guess Easter egg is that it says his manager is Mary Ann Liu. Hi, Mary Ann Liu!

G: Hi, Mary Ann Liu! Yeah!

C: Is Mary Ann Liu also one of Sam's phone contacts?

G: Yeah, I think, like, back in the day.

C: Uh-huh. I'd like to believe they're the same people. It says that Paul has a retirement party scheduled for two weeks out, and Dean's like, "Huh." Meanwhile, at the IT place, Sam is talking to Ian about the same thing. He goes, "Why would someone kill themselves two weeks before they were supposed to retire? Like, he was two weeks from freedom. He should have been happy, right?" Which, like, honestly, retiring is a big life thing. It's possible that-

G: You just get stressed out, yeah. You don't have enough savings.

C: Yeah, "I don't have anything to do, I don't have the savings that I need, I don't know what my purpose in life will be, because, like, it's been worn away by this IT job for so many years." Like, I get it.

G: Yeah. And like, I think this one really reiterates what I was saying earlier that like, Sam's like, when you're working, your only life is your job. And then like, [laughs] because that's like, you know, the point of the episode. And here, Sam is like, "But he should be done being miserable, 'cause he's getting out of the miserable job."

C: Yeah, "And he has freedom now."

G: Well, can we infer something about Sam's- like, Sam Sam's psychology from that one? [C: Yeah.] That he- I mean, for a long time, he did think of hunting as like, "And after this is over, I can go back to my normal life."

C: And that's sort of stopped being a possibility.

G: Yeah, but it is what he does kinda, in Supernatural.

C: In Season 8?

G: [laughing] In Season 15.

C: His son has a fucking anti-possession tattoo on. Aren't we supposed to think that they're both still hunting on the side?

G: That he's a hunter? I don't think so.

C: Oh, that's good.

G: I think he just got divorced with his wife. [both laugh] I mean, everybody has pointed to hell and back that [C: She's not there.] his wife is in none of the family pictures. To him, he's like, "Oh, I can protect my family like, this entire time. It's fine." [laughing] And then they get divorced, and the wife gets the kid in the divorce, and he's like, "Oh, shit! Now I have to give him a fucking tattoo because I won't be in the house protecting them." [C laughs] Well, unfortunate.

C: Yeah. What did Sam say the last time they had a conversation about retiring? 'Cause they have had one like, not that far away.

G: I think, Sam said, like, "That's just not an option for me anymore" or something. [C: Does he?] "That's past me."

C: Right. The important thing about Ian now is that he's actually wearing the uniform now, and in the past, he never did. And he won't engage with Sam in this conversation. He says he doesn't have time for this, he's working, it's important. Ian just ignores him and then gets called up to floor 22 to speak to a manager, and this manager is Dean Smith. You know, Dean just tells Ian, "Hey, like, yesterday you filled out this form, but there are a few errors, so I'm just going to walk you through this," and Ian starts freaking out. He's like, "Oh no, oh no, oh my god! Like, I can't believe I did this! I can't believe I did this!" And Dean's like, "Hey, it's fine. I can just like, help you refile this." And Ian's like, "No! It affected profits! [G laughs] I failed Sandover! I failed the company! How could I do this?" Incredibly funny! Sorry that he is going to kill himself about this.

G: The thing is like, I didn't remember who the ghost was this episode, and I saw this scene, and I was like, "Damn, who's fucking haunting these people? [C laughs] Like, the ghost of corporate past?" And [laughing] then like, literally. The ghost of corporate past is hunting these fucking people.

C: Ian runs out of the room and Dean follows him to the bathroom. Ian's still freaking out, and then there's like, a brief moment of cold air, and then all the faucets and all the soap dispensers come on.

G: This is a really fun visual.

C: The soap is like, a dark pink, so it like, sorta looks like blood, and it's like, pooling and spilling onto the ground. [G: Yeah.] It's very neat.

G: 'Cause the thing is like, it's pink. [C: It's Danganronpa blood.] So it's like, when it starts falling, you barely even register that that's the visual it was doing. And then it starts pooling, and it's like, "Oh, that's good. That's good! That's good." Mary Ann Liu [said as lee-yoo] slayed with this one, unless it's not Mary Ann Liu, [C laughs] and also, her name isn't Mary Ann Liu. Am I saying that right? Is it Mary Ann Liu?

C: Uh, Mary Ann Liu. [said lee-YO]

G: Liu. [C: Liu.] Slay. Slay.

C: Though, I mean, okay, all of the faucets and all the soap dispensers come on. I think it would be more fun if it was just like, one by one, as like, the ghost passes and triggers the motion sensors. But like, that's not what's happening. The ghost is just turning them all on for fun. Ian pulls a pencil out of his pocket and then stabs himself in the neck, and blood spurts out, and he falls to the ground, and he's bleeding so much, and Dean sees the ghost in the mirror, but there's no one in the room. And Dean's like, freaking out. And then, like, Ian, he makes a sound on the floor, so Dean realizes that he's still alive, and then he calls for help. [G: Yeah.] Pencil neck stab, pretty neat. I feel like an actual pencil would break if you tried that, though, but I don't know. I'm not testing it.

G: I'm not testing it either, but like, those things are shockingly sharp.

C: Well, that was probably Sam's only friend. [G laughs] Sorry, Sam. [G laughing] He'll make a new one. He's good at that in this setting.

G: Exactly.

-

G: We're outside. Dean's being investigated or whatever. He's giving his like, statement to the police officer. And like, while all this is happening, Sam, like, passes by and they catch each other's eyes, and it kind of like, sets Dean aback.

C: I wish Sam had more of a reaction to the fact that it is Ian specifically.

G: Yeah. He DGAF. He never mentions Ian again. No mention of anything.

C: That was his best friend, and he really did just let him go.

G: Yeah. [laughs] "'Cause it was easier," period. [both laughing] There's nothing else.

He's back in his cubicle. Totally unfazed. None of his actions betray that he is affected by this whatsoever.

C: He has even less energy than he usually does, but yeah, not much there.

G: He picks up the ringing phone, and yeah, it's Dean telling him, "Come to my office."

C: They make a point to show that he's rebuttoning his shirt.

G: Yeah. [laughing] I did find that pretty funny. Why?

C: Like, what was that? Okay, the point is he's changing his clothes because he got blood all over them from Ian, right, so it's the same day. But like, it's still like, "Okay, is this like, the world's tamest fanservice? Like, congrats, I guess." By rebuttoning the shirt, I mean, like, 3 buttons. Like, you're not seeing anything.

G: Yeah. Sam shows up, and Dean asks, like, "Who the hell are you?" And Sam says, "I'm not sure I know," [C: Hell yeah, baby!] which is fascinating.

C: He's so main character-coded! I love him!

G: Yeah, I know. Yeah. He says, "I'm Sam Wesson, and I started here three weeks ago." Dean also did.

C: So what was Cas doing during these three weeks when his boss was like, "I'm putting your favorite little guy into a fun little hamster wheel to watch him spin."?

G: I don't know. He was like, "He seems a bit sad. [laughing] Maybe we should put Sam in there also." [C laughs] [C: For enrichment.] He recommended he put Sam in there also, yeah.

C: Yeah, though, I mean, if Cas suggested that they put Sam in there, I think he's still on the "Make Sam stop doing demon blood shit" agenda. So like, I feel like we could have gotten more. 'Cause this episode should have been about like, giving Dean the worst corporate job ever, and giving Sam the best corporate job ever [laughing] so that Dean leaves, but Sam doesn't. [G laughs]

G: But like, you have to remember that Zachariah knows.

C: Oh, about the full plan, including the Lucifer vessel. [G: Yeah.] We're to presume. Or do we know that because he traps Dean in the green room later? I have no clue what that is, but like-

G: I'm not sure if actually, he knows what the full plan is. But like, he knows that they need to keep Dean in that room and let Sam do his thing. [C: Mm-hm.]  And like, I mean Cas knew that "Lilith is the final seal. Sam kills Lilith, the end begins," or whatever that line is.

C: When was he told this?

G: Who? Dean?

C: When was Cas told this? Isn't he like, pro-killing Lilith?

G: He was told in 4.20.

C: Right, he let Sam out of the panic room, right? In "When the Levee Breaks" or something?

G: Yeah.

C: Whatever, we'll get to it when we get to it.

G: No, but like, he was gonna tell Dean, right? Like, he shows up in Dean's dream in 4.20, [C: That's true.] and that's why he gets booted up back in Heaven, and, you know. Dean says something about that. A line.

C: I'm really curious about how long Cas has known. Because the whole like, "They don't tell me much. I just know that our fate rests with you." Like, I think that's genuine. I think he doesn't know Michael vessel stuff in 4.16.

G: I do genuinely think it was 4.20. Like, the moment he knew, he was like, "I need to tell Dean." [C: Oh. Aww.] And then they booted his ass back up into Heaven.

C: Maybe Destiel is real.

G: I told you. [C laughs] I have been telling you.

C: Sam was just put in because Dean needed a push. I think that's all it was. Yeah. As we already said, like, they knew, like, Sam would actually want to get back to the hunting life, given where he is right now, and they don't need to convince him of anything. So he's just there to be a manic pixie dream girl type.

G: They start talking about the ghost. Yeah, at some point Sam goes, "Oh, you really saw the ghost, didn't you? I mean all these suicides, what if they aren't suicides? I mean, what if they're... something not natural?" [C laughing] I love it. I love it.

C: Yeah, I did chuckle at this.

G: Did a bit of a giggle, yeah. [C: Yeah.] They start like, talking in earnest of like, "What's going on?" And Sam is like, "Yeah, I was dreaming about ghosts, and then suddenly, there's a real ghost. What does that mean?" And Dean asked like, "Oh, so like, you have special visions? You're some kind of psychic?" [C laughs] And I love that even in this universe where Dean doesn't know the implications of that, and like, doesn't think of monsters, blah blah blah, you know, like, doesn't have the weave of information he has in, like, his usual life with his usual memories, [laughing] he's still so fucking judgemental about the psychic situation. [C: Yeah.] Like, I love it. I think it's so funny

C: Yeah.

G: And Sam, apparently, has been doing research, and the research is he hacked into these two guys' emails. He saw that they both received an email from HR telling them to go to Room 1444. So that's 1444, which is, you know, in feng sh- How do you pronounce that? I still have no idea how to pronounce-

C: Feng shui? [fung shway]

G: Feng shui. In feng shui, that's bad. That's bad. It's a bad floor, and that's a bad room number. Let's kick the door down, baby! No, [laughs] Sam literally does kick the door down. They go to the room- No, they have like, a little conversation first, where they were like, "Oh, should we do it?" And then Dean was like, "Oh, you're right, like, it's a bit too late. I shouldn't bother you" or something. And Sam just looks at him and goes, "I'm dying to check this out." And Dean's like, "Okay, let's go. Hell yeah!" And then they do. Sam kicks down the door.

C: Hey, quick question. So the ghost was sending emails? [G laughing] That guy?

G: This guy was like, "I'm the ghost of corporate past, but you know what? There's like, you know, technological upgrades, we need to, you know, to strive as a company. We need to change with the times."

C: Adjust for the modern era.

G: Exactly. Before they enter, we see like, a guy who's just there.

C: Yeah, who got called in.

G: As Sam barges into the door, they fight off this guy, and eventually, Dean gets a hold of a pipe or whatever.

C: A wrench?

G: He gets a hold of a wrench, and then he swipes it over the ghost of corporate past. [laughs] I need to stop calling this "ghost of corporate past." He literally is, though. Like, he looks like it, too. He looks like Scrooge McDuck.

C: Yeah. Yeah. He's got that oil baron vibe.

G: [laughing] I need to- What is the real name of Scrooge? 'Cause I cannot keep on calling it "Scrooge McDuck" in my head.

C: No, that is his name.

G: [laughing] His name in real life is Scrooge McDuck? [laughing]

C: [laughing] Wait, do you mean the- [laughing] the Ducktales Scrooge or the Christmas Carol Scrooge?

G: [laughing] Yeah. What's his name?

C: In A Christmas Carol?

G: [laughing] Yeah.

C: Scrooge is his last name. His first name is Ebenezer.

G: [laughing] It's like- why wouldn't you just call him "Scrooge McDuck the person"? Well, he literally does look like Scrooge McDuck the person. For fucking real.

-

C: I don't know. Dean doesn't want to drink a beer and got rid of all the carbs in his house. We're doing the same thing again. Wait, did we skip the salad? When did he eat the salad? Does it even matter that he ate a salad? [laughs] Probably not.

G: Well, he ate a salad. Let's say it here. At some point, he eats a salad. I do think it's interesting that the way they shoot that scene is like, focused on his lips chewing and then focused on his eyes that are like, dead empty. And it's like, so you're telling us that like, eating veggies is like, not fulfilling? What's the point?

C: Yeah, that is what they're saying.

G: I mean, I do understand that like, that's what they're saying, and then combining it with the juice cleanse is also saying something about diet culture. But like, the bigger context of the episode is just [C laughs] "It's unsatisfying to be a homo." Like- [both laughing]

C: He doesn't even go to the health club.

G: Exactly. They couldn't let him go to the health club, 'cause if he went to the health club he would be like, "It is satisfying to be a homo." [laughing]

C: Yeah, he wouldn't go back to being a hunter.

G: Yeah, he would continue being a gay employee.

C: Though [laughing] I do think that he wouldn't be that into casual sex.

G: [laughs] I'm right? I'm right?

C: They're talking. They seem to have had a good time on that hunt. Dean says, "Good job kicking down that door. That was very Jet Li." Slay, I guess. Also-

G: They're both complimenting each other. Like, they both cannot believe that the other is good at this.

C: "Oh my god," and like, "Yeah, we're really good at this."

G: It's not even like, a "Oh my god, you're great!" It's like a "Why are you great? [laughs] Like, what's wrong?" That's so funny to me.

C: I mean, every day, they've gotten dressed, and they've looked at their giant, bulging muscles in their fucking officewear, and they didn't think about it at all, so I guess this is their thinking about it.

Sam starts basically saying what I think are probably Taylor Swift lyrics where he says, "I just can't shake this feeling, like, I don't belong here." And later he says that, like, he hates this town or whatever. I'm pretty sure she says that shit.

G: [laughing] No, that's so funny that you say this is Taylor Swift lyrics, because this line specifically: "Look, it's more than that. I don't like my job. I don't like this town. I don't like my clothes. I don't like my own last name."

C: Oh, is that Bruce Springsteen?

G: It's literally "Dancing in the Dark" Bruce Springsteen. Like, "I wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face. I ain't getting nowhere, just living in a dump like this." [both laugh] Like, he's so Bruce Springsteen "Dancing in the Dark"-core.

C: Well, good for him.

G: He says, "It feels like I should be doing something else." Well, as Bruce Springsteen said, "There's something happening somewhere. Baby, I just know that there is." [C laughs]

C: And then he says, "There's just something in my blood. [G: Ooh! Fun.] Like, I was destined for something different." Fun stuff! [G: Fun stuff.] And Dean says that he doesn't believe in destiny, just in dealing with what's right in front of us. And is that also their attitudes about the Apocalypse? I guess it's Dean's attitude about 4.07 Like, "I don't care about the seal. I care about this town. These people are real." So yeah. And then Dean says, "We do what I do best, Sammy. Research." You're not the loreboy. Don't claim that.

G: Exactly.

G: And they do a sort of tortured thing where Sam's like, "Did you just call me Sammy?" And it goes on for way too long.

Dean does research-

G: And I actually really love this scene.

C: I love it. I did not expect the Ghostfacers to be back, and they are! And it's wonderful! [G laughs]

G: They're back, and they literally are doing a step-by-step "how to kill a ghost" like, vlog, basically.

C: It's great. [G: It's great.] 'Cause, like, they know now. They learned.

G: Yeah. And their info is right.

C: Mm-hm. It's wonderful. [G: Yeah!] So like, the humor is that Dean thinks that these guys are like, great. [G: Super cool, yeah.] Like, not losers. [G: For real, yeah.] Like, "Look. These are like, for real, actual ghost hunters. Like, look at this!" And it's a video of Ed and Harry of Ghostfacers fame, you know, doing their bits, saying that they know how to solve your ghost issue. We sort of intersperse their advice with what Sam and Dean do. So like, first, it's like, figure out what you're up against. And Sam has found an article about the death of the founder of Sandover, who died in 1916, and was very devoted to his work. Sam says, "No wife, no kids." Which, is that what we're supposed to think about Dean and the "you get to fornicate with women" line from Zachariah later?

G: Maybe?

C: He can't fuck because he's too busy working?

G: I mean, he also has no wife and kids, like, in the hunter world. [laughs] Like-

C: Yeah. That's true. That's true. Well, maybe this guy was just aromantic. Diversity win! This, like, capitalist shill is aromantic. [G laughs]

G: Exactly.

C: But yeah. So that's him. And they used to say that he was the company, and his very blood pumped through the building.

G: That's so disgusting.

C: Which we don't get later. I was so ready for, like, actual bits of his blood to be in the walls of the building, because, like, it says that he oversees all the construction of, like, all his projects, right? So like, maybe he got like, injured during construction, and then some of his blood got trapped inside the walls. But no, they're just saying this as a figure of speech. Boo!

G: They need to remove the mortar.

C: Everyone read Thirteen Storeys by Jonny Sims. What did you say?

G: They need to remove like, a load-bearing- [C laughs] What do you call that? The like, fucking beam or something.

C: I know what you mean. Like, a beam or something?

G: [laughs] Yeah, they need to remove the like, foundational post and make the entire building fall to pieces to kill this ghost.

C: So so true. And apparently, the last time people started killing themselves a bunch in the building was in 1929. There was 17 suicides. [laughing] And this is when they're like, "Oh, he wakes up during times of economic downturn! [G laughing] And the worst time we've seen during the Great Depression is now during the housing crisis."

G: Lovely.

C: It's really funny. [laughs] I mean, I'm sure it felt realer during the time, just like saying that demon did 9/11 [G laughs] while they posed as Homeland Security, which was also new at the time, felt realer at the time. And I understand that like, this was like, quite bad, and like, real people, were affected by this. [G: Yeah.] But it's just a very- it's a silly thing, because Supernatural doesn't usually engage with like, current events in this way.

G: Yeah. It is fascinating, 'cause, like, you know, Sam and Dean are like, working class in Supernatural. And it's like- because Supernatural does not interact with like, politics at all.

C: Yeah, the market economy as is.

G: Like, the current economic whatever whatever of the United States, [laughing] this is like, our first division of the economy, I think. [C: Yup, it really is.] And it's like, during a situation where they are in a position- I mean, Dean is in a position to care 'cause his portfolio's in the sewers. [C laughs] [C: Yeah.] I don't know. Is that something? Are they saying something with that? That like, [laughing] if you're working class, whatever whatever?

C: Oh, like, since they're already living outside of the like, market economy, they aren't affected by these things. Meanwhile, all these cuck office workers, like, as long as something bad happens in the government, there goes all their money? I don't know. [laughs] I think the idea is just that they'd be grateful for the job stability that they have here, so it would make it harder for them to leave? Or like, that's something that's affecting Dean?

G: I mean, specifically, I think what's happening is that Supernatural just purports to be like, a for-all-Americans show. [laughs] And so they don't want to get into the politics of anything. [C: Yeah.] Which is fascinating because the show is intensely, like, intensely political in its implications. But okay.

C: Yeah, I do always get so stuck on the fact that Cas didn't kill that guy because he was a homophobe. He killed him because he was homophobic and gay.

G: What are you talking about?

C: He says "I can't stand hypocrites." [G: Oh, yeah!] Like, Godstiel. [G laughs] The point is that the guy says that being gay is a sin, and then he has secret gay sex. It's not because he's a homophobe. It's because he's lying to his congregation. That's why he gets killed. Like, they wouldn't even say that it's bad to be homophobic.

G: [laughing] I thought you were talking about the "Gimme Shelter" kid [C laughs] who got killed like, in a hate crime for being gay. [C laughing] I was like, "What do you mean? [laughing] What do you mean?" Well, yeah.

C: Yeah. Supernatural will not take a stance on anything, except it takes stances every second that it exists, unknowingly.

Right. So Sandover's trying to help the company by [G: Kicking out the employees.], you know, getting the employees that aren't very good and then making them into model employees. Bro, like, the turnover that you're creating. I feel like it's more expensive for the company to hire somebody new. Like, you could just fire them if you think they're not good. Also, like, if they're still like, they have to pay out the life insurance, which- I mean, yeah. Anyway.

G: What is the regularization like, status in the United States?

C: The regularization of what?

G: Like, if I say- of jobs. Like, when are you regularized?

C: What's regularized?

G: It's when you start getting benefits.

C: I mean, I think it differs company to company, but for me, it was as soon as I started.

G: Oh! Okay.

C: I think, okay, I think we signed up, so it took like, a month or so.

G: Yeah, here, you get your benefits after 6 months. For like, call center, what Sam's doing right now, that job that I applied to, I was gonna get regularized after 6 months. [C: Got it.] And that is if you're not a contractual worker. The joke I was gonna make is, "I don't know. Maybe those guys are regularized." [C laughs]

C: Yeah Maybe so.

G: Maybe they aren't. I mean, Paul is definitely regularized.

C: Yeah, he was two weeks from retirement.

G: Yeah. Ian, probably a new kid. Yeah. Wants to fuck the GMILF, even. [C: Yeah.] And he didn't even get to fuck that GMILF. So sad.

C: I think he could have in the time in between. Like, there was a day that passed. Two days, maybe.

G: Yeah. His swagger was so strong, he was able to do it in a day.

C: Yeah. And Sam also finds the fourteenth floor, and specifically the room 1444, was where Sandover's office was. The Ghostfacers then explain how salt is like, burny acid to ghosts, and iron also helps repel them. And also explains that "We learned this trick from those useless douchebags that we hate. The Winchesters." So like, Zachariah does say later that, like, this is their world. He just like, erased Sam and Dean's memories and then put them in a real company.

G: Yeah, so this is literally just in the ether. Yeah, this is just like, in the internet for real.

C: Yeah. And if either of them looked up "Sam Winchester" or "Dean Winchester," then they would get like, the FBI's Most Wanted thing. So that's why their last names are changed.

G: With Chuck, it's the Winchester Gospel, right? But he doesn't say Winchester in the book.

C: Oh, yeah, he uses a different name so that people don't think he's writing serial killer fanfiction.

G: [laughing] That's so funny. Imagine you're like, on the internet, and you watch like, a news TV show, and it's like, serial killers Sam and Dean Winchester. [laughing] And then you find this book, and it's like, "Sam and Dean Winchester," and there's like, an extended portion of Dean Winchester making lovey-dovey eyes with an angel, and it's like, "What is this serial killer? They made an OC who's an angel? Like, what is going on?" [C laughing] [C: Yeah.] They literally did that in Supernatural with Colette, though. [laughing] Like, for rela.

C: They did. They did. [G: Yeah.] And Sam and Dean are both like, "Well, we can't get a gun, so." Finally, Ed and Harry talk about how you have to burn the remains. I guess you don't have to salt and burn them, because Sam did not salt those gloves. The salt was just for fun?

G: Yeah, I don't know. I mean, we talked constantly in the past like, "What does the salt do? Is it like a-"

C: Apparently nothing.

G: Apparently nothing. Apparently, it does nothing. You don't even need to put gas on that thing. [C laughs] It'll just burn like it has a gas on it, even.

C: Yeah. And then they also say that sometimes, you have to dig up the body. But Sandover was cremated. And then Ed and Harry say like, "If the deceased was cremated, then you should just look for some other like, genetic material that's hanging around." And that's the end of the episode. Of the fucking Ghostfacers episode.

G: Yeah. I do love that like, Harry and Ed are like, obviously very annoying people. But like, this is like, actually useful stuff. It's actually useful.

C: Yeah, this is probably better than anything Sam or Dean have done so far.

G: Yeah! This is like, actually helping people in a way where they can do it themselves. 'Cause like, there's not always gonna be a hunter around. [C: Mm-hm.] I mean, hunters only come to a place where people have already died 'cause that's how they know that there's something there, 'cause people have already died.

C: Yeah, but like, if you're just having cold air in your house-

G: If you're the first guy, you're like, "Okay, what do I do?" And you look it up, and Harry and Ed are here to help you.

C: Yeah, 'cause Dean found them- like, it didn't take too long. So they're doing a decent job at being high in the search results.

G: Also, like, I don't know. I mean, we've talked about this. Like, who is Sam and Dean protecting by hiding this from the world?

C: Exactly.

G: And it's like, you're protecting the people who will not be affected by it so that they can sleep better at night. But the people who will be affected by it, who will be attacked by ghosts-

C: Die because of that.

G: - will die. And it's like, "Okay, but how are we weighing those things?" And apparently, to Sam and Dean, very heavily on the side of the people who will just not be affected by death.

C: I'm still so stuck on how that guy in "Sex and Violence" declared his specific intent [G: "I'm gonna kill myself," yeah.] to kill himself for killing his wife, and they find out it's a siren, and they don't go back and tell him or anything. They just skip town. And like, we know that that guy's gonna kill himself. And if they had told him, maybe- like, it'd be difficult to believe, but if they had some kind of evidence, then, like, I don't know. Like, it's worth giving it a shot, but they were like, "We don't give a fuck," and then they go.

G: And also, they got sirened, so they know what it feels like. They know what it does to your mind. I feel like they can, you know, convey to that guy well enough that like, "I know how you felt 'cause that's exactly how I felt, and I know, because I actually did feel it."

C: Yeah. But apparently having people sleep easier at night is more important. I'm sure some hunters hide it because they want to feel useful. They're like, "If the government knows about this, then I don't have a job anymore, and then I have to confront the fact that I have no life." [G laughs]

G: They will militarize the hunters, yeah.

C: Yeah, I mean, hunters do see themselves as the meme image of the soldier [G laughs] [G: Yeah.] holding his hands out over a sleeping child's bed, while like, bloody knives stab him.

Thank you, Ed and Harry. I know they're mostly just doing this because they want a movie deal or whatever. But like, you know what? Like, good. Good. You should get a movie deal. [laughs] Like, more people should know.

G: Exactly.

-

G: Well, Sam and Dean are back in Sandover Iron and Co. whatever, and they say that like, "We should make our cell phones into walkie talkies in case we get separated," which is so fun. That's so fun! [C: It is.] Can you still do that in a modern phone? I don't think so.

C: I don't think so.

G: But like, how does it work? Like, do you like, flip a button in that old thing, and it turns into a walkie talkie?

C: I guess.

G: [laughing] The term "walkie talkie" is so cute! [C: It is.] It sounds like a word that we'll make up on like, this podcast. Like, "It's a lappytoppy, it's a walkie talkie," okay, it's so cute. And it's because they're walking, and they're gonna be talking.

Their plan is to go to the 1444 floor room and look at stuff to figure out what the fuck is left behind. And as they're looking, Sam is closer to the door, like, right beside the door, and Dean is like, deeper into the room, just looking through the shelves. And then suddenly, a guard comes in and like, obviously, sees Sam immediately, and Dean just ducks out and hides.

C: And this guard wasn't possessed or anything, right?

G: This guard was just doing this for the laughs, yeah.

C: 'Cause he acts so creepy. And I was like, "There's gotta be something going on here ghost-wise," but like, I don't think there was. But okay, there was the cold air in the elevator before the guy gets killed by the elevator, but like, it also just felt like a regular death. I don't know. I'm confused about Sandover's role in this guard's life.

G: I was gonna say, the other people who are killed were possessed or whatever.

C: Yeah, they got zapped in the brain with his electricity thing, and it changed them.

G: But like, the thing that you can connect to the guard is like, so he died, therefore, blah blah blah. But like, those people like, killed themselves because they were incompetent in their job or whatever. This guy like, just dies a very unfortunate death. [C: Yeah.] This death is amazing, though. [C: Yeah.] I mean, it's horrible, as I've said.

C: No, it's great, though.

G: I still think about it. It's horrible. I mean, what happens is like, the guard like, brings Sam out, and in the elevator, like, the elevator like, gets stuck in between floors. So it's like, only half of the door is like, up, whatever. And so the guard climbs out, and he climbs out like, already. Like, he's already out. And he's telling Sam like, "Come on. Like, just climb out." And Sam's like, "I'm not doing that." And he's like, "Just come on!" and Sam's like, "Nope." The guard sticks his head in, and then, like, the elevator turns back on. [C: Yup.] And it slices him in half, and there's like, a wonderful blad- blood [C laughs] splatter on Sam's shirt and face. [C: It's great.] It's resonant. Like, you remember it, which is, obviously, because I remember it [laughs] very intensely. That's still crazy 'cause, like, that is like, a very specific- if there is like, any other media- If you're a listener and you're listening to this- God knows why. It's so long. [both laugh]- And there's like, any other media where this kind of thing happens, like, tell me.

C: I'm sure it's happened somewhere.

G: Yeah. And like, I'm asking people like, please tell me this stuff it has happened to, 'cause like, I'm still not 100% convinced that this is the source of that fear. [C: Okay, yeah.] That's too convenient. [C laughs] Like, so many of my fears in life are already rooted in Supernatural. Let's find something else. And if there is something else-

C: So much of your life is rooted in Supernatural, though.

G: [laughs] It's true. It's- why? It's crazy.

C: You watched it when you were at an impressionable age.

G: I still think about the fact that in our Good Omens ender podcast, when they asked about Cas, I literally said, "He's like a brother to me. [C laughs] In fact, I've known him longer than my sister." And it's like, [laughing] why am I talking- why did I say that? [laughing]

C: 'Cause it's true.

G: I mean, it's true. My little sister is like, 8 years old, and I've known Cas longer than her. [laughing] But what a crazy comparison to make.

Eventually, Sam and Dean meet up in like, this display room where gloves are like, in this glass case. [C: Yeah.] And so they smash in that glass case-

C: The gloves are Sandover's. [G: Oh, yeah.] The display room is a little museum to the company.

G: They smash in that thing, and as soon as it the glass gets broken, like, cold air. Sandover, I suppose, since I said I would stop calling him Christmas- ghost of corporate past. Well, he shows up. And then they start like, doing this little bit. I mean, it's actually really fun, where like, Sam throws the poker, and Dean is like, "Wow, good one." [C: Yeah.] And then Dean gets to do it, and Sam's like, "That's good." [C laughs] And then they do it together, and they do it one at a time. Like, it's so fun! They're having so much fun. [C: It is fun.] And then, you know, eventually, because they're Sam and Dean, they get their ass beat by the ghost. And there's like, this really fun blood trickle from Dean's scalp down to his like, forehead by his eyebrow. Real nice! Real nice. It's been a while since we got a good like, Sam and Dean blood on their face that's you know, their blood [C: That's true.], and it's important to me.

C: Yeah, they were like, depriving them of their blood on their face rations so that Cas could look so hot during "On the Head of a Pin."

G: Exactly. Eventually, Dean is like, cornered, and he's about to get zapped in the brain, and Sam is like, "Oh, should I go and save Dean? Or should I go and save Dean for real by burning these gloves?" [C laughs] And he does the second. Burns the gloves. It's over. And they were like, "Wow. We're so cool!" [C laughs] And they are. They are. [C: Yeah.] Honestly, I think they are, this episode. [C laughing]

C: I think they're fun.

G: I think because they approach it with an earnestness. [C: That's true.] Specifically Dean. 'Cause, like, Dean in real life is like, "Oh, I'm so cool, but you're the one who thinks that of me. You're supposed to be the one who thinks that of me." And like, obviously, Dean IRL like, thinks he's cool, too, but like, it's so like, a performance kind of way, you know? Like, "Did it look good, like in the movies?" as he said in "Mystery Spot." And here, it is genuinely just Dean being like, "And I think it's cool because I'm doing it, and I think I'm cool." [C laughs] And like, I feel like a lot of the other "How am I perceived?" blah blah blah gets, you know, [C: Yeah.] gets removed from that. And I think mostly that's just because it's, you know, it's not new to Dean Dean anymore. But it is nice to see Dean like, be enthused by what he's doing. Which is like, "Yeah, it's a pretty cool thing," with like, an earnestness that he doesn't really have in his usual time.

C: Also, he just thinks that it's cool that it works. Like, "No way. There's this guy, and he disappears when I do this."

G: Yeah. "Whoa!"

C: Yeah, 'cause I feel like it really doesn't really register to him that this is a matter of life and death, even though he saw like, two people kill themselves. So like, it's more of like, "This is like, a fun extracurricular."

G: I mean, he said "Hell of a workout." [laughs]

C: Yeah. Yeah. Which like, I guess it is sort of surprising that Dean Smith would see Ian stab himself to death with a pencil in front of him, and then also be almost killed by that ghost choking him, and like, not be particularly fazed by it. [G: Yeah.] But yeah, I guess that's the old Dean resilience coming in.

G: It's so funny when Zachariah was like, "Damn! Why the long face? [C laughs] Like, what's up with you, man? Hopefully, you're not thinking of quitting." And it's like, the dude just saw like, a guy get stabbed in the fucking throat. Like, okay.

C: Three people died at your company this week. That could be a reason to quit, I think, if this place makes like, two people that miserable, and then also that security guard made a bad choice that ended very badly.

-

C: We're back in Dean's office, having a conversation afterwards, and Sam and Dean both say that they've never had this much fun in their life. Oh, hey! Doesn't Dean say that in "Free to Be You and Me"? Or "I've never laughed so hard"?

G: Yeah. In years. He says "in years." "I haven't laughed this hard in years."

C: Okay. Not the same thing.

G: Damn. We're gonna watch this episode, and we're gonna be like, "Dean and Cas are in love and so cute. And also, Supernatural is like, soo bad." [C laughing] And it is. Both things are true. And Sam is also there. [laughing]

C: Sam's important to me!

G: I mean, it's so funny because that episode- [laughing] I think someone described it once as "Dean and Cas are having a little date, and Sam is fighting for his life behind the bar counter," and that literally is what happens that episode.

C: Okay, this conversation, I think, is a bit too soon and a bit forced, but I get that they have like, a time limit on the episode, and they have to get here eventually. So yeah, Dean's just laying back, having a casual fun time. And Sam says, like, "We should keep doing this. Like, for real. There could be other ghosts out there. We could help a lot of people." And Dean isn't taking this seriously. I do think that it's interesting that, like, this is where Sam, with his memories wiped, goes to for the first thing. Like, "Let's do this so that we can like, help a lot of people, and I know there's more ghosts killing people out there." 'Cause they've been trying to tell us that Sam doesn't really want to save the world for the saving the world's sake. [G: Yeah.] But like, this, Sam does seem to be of that mindset. Also, okay, there's still demon blood in him right now. It was just a memory wipe. So like, it's not like they're trying to say something about how that changes how he thinks. Though I guess he's been off it for three weeks. [G: Yeah.] Ugh. I wish this was a more Sam-centric episode. I wanted to see, like, Sam, like, in this role, going through like, demon blood withdrawal and like, not knowing what's going on. [G: Yeah.] Like, isn't that interesting? That, plus the dreams, plus everything else? Ugh. But yeah. I don't know. In this episode, Sam does care about saving the world for saving the world's sake. Yeah. Is it like- what? His life- like, because hunting has always been like, so negative for both of them, like, he's gotten really jaded in his regular life about saving the world. He cares more about like, the power rush of drinking demon blood and things like that. But like, if you take those negative associations away, you get to like, the good person core of him? Is that the point?

G: I don't even know. I mean, like, the whole Pamela deal was like, "Your intentions are bad." [C: Right.] Which we have railed against that notion. But I will continue to do so.

C: Yeah, yeah. Dean's like, "You're crazy. Like, you want us to quit our jobs and like, hit the road? Like, how would we get by? With stolen credit cards? Eating diner food drenched in saturated fats? Sharing a crap motel room every night?" And at this point, it's just getting to be a bit much. Like, okay, I get it.

G: Sam goes, "That's all just details." Which, oh god! Like, it does make me feel emo that like, Dean, here is like, so fickle.

C: Yeah, like, he wants health insurance, is what he's saying.

G: In real life, you don't see Dean say these things, and it's just like, later on in the show-

C: Well, in "Yellow Fever."

G: Yeah. But, you know, that's a different thing, also. Like, that's Dean, like, uninhibited by like, whatever whatever.

C: That was just Dean with high anxiety.

G: [laughs] That's true. He was uninhibited by anti-anxiety meds. [C laughs] But like, later on in the show, when he does finally have, like, a place, his own room in the bunker, like, we see these, like, fickleness come out. Suddenly, he's like, very fickle with his stuff in his room, you know, like, he decorates, and like, we don't hear him complain about the crap motel room every night or the sleeping in the car, but later on, when he is allowed to have things that are not that, we see that he does want those things. And, I don't know. Dean is like- between them, Sam and Dean both, like, there are so many things that they just won't say. [C: Yeah.] And a lot of those things are like, "Well, what do we actually really want from life?" Because, you know, when your life is like this, when you say those things, I guess it's more harm than good. 'Cause if you can't have it, then, like, why say it? [laughs] It's just horrible to think about.

C: Yeah. And I find Sam's "That's just details" quite interesting, too. Because, like-

G: Yeah, I also read it as super interesting.

C: 'Cause, okay, in the past, he's been like, the "I want a normal life" guy, but like, this seems to imply that it's not about like, the comfort or safety of a normal life. It's like, currently, "That's just details." Like, he's saying that "My ideals are that I want to help people, and like, this is the way to do it, and I'm willing to sacrifice personal comfort and things like that in order to do it." I guess it makes me wonder if like, going to Stanford was also like, an ideological, like, "I don't deserve"- like, "I deserve better than to be raised in this household and like, by leaving, I'm like, making a point about that." Like, it's not just about the "I want to live in a house that I own."

G: I mean, it is different for Sam when it's like, leaving hunting and then leaving his family, because, like, for Sam to be able to leave his family, he does need to stop being a hunter. [C: Mm-hm.] I think it's fundamental to that because the hunter community is so small, and like, eventually, they'll have to work together. They'll have to like, see each other. And if you just want to like, completely remove yourself from that, then, like, you have no choice but to leave. And also, Sam didn't want to remove himself completely from that. It was John who said, "If you want to do this, leave forever." I do think, like, Sam, if he didn't start out like, in the hunting life, would choose to be a hunter, and maybe even, if he wasn't in this particular hunting family, he would choose to be a hunter. It's just that his particular circumstances make that particular choice, like, more defeatist than it should be. [C: Hm.] If Sam lived a similar, like, life, as you know, Ellen and Jo, [C: Yeah.] like, that kind of environment where Jo grew up with hunter parents and like, whatever, but, like, Ellen, is purposely trying to stop her from doing that, like, I think Sam would act like Jo and be like, "But I actually do want to do it." [C: Hm. Yeah.] It's just his particular set of circumstances makes it more complicated than just "What do I want to do?"

C: Yeah, yeah, I think that makes sense. I will slot that into my many, many Sam interpretations as a potential one, [laughing] 'cause I know this is a controversial topic.

G: Is it?

C: Yeah, whether or not Sam wants to be a hunter is a very controversial topic, isn't it?

G: I suppose so. I mean, again, it's circumstantial. Want is a complicated word, 'cause, like, hunting is a complicated life.

C: And associations with that are tied into many things that are beyond the job.

G: And like, even here, when Sam goes, "It's all just details." And it's like, yes, but also, you're only able to say that really 'cause you don't know yet-

C: Right. What it's like.

G: - what it's like. What those details are really and what they entail really. So yeah. We can also say here that like, this Sam doesn't actually really want to hunt, just like, the idea of it or whatever. [C: Right.] It could go any direction.

C: His apartment is probably way less good than Dean's, so [laughing] Dean's taking away a bigger step down than Sam is.

G: Yeah, probably. Yeah. And Sam finally says, like, "Do you remember those dreams about the ghosts I told you about? I was fighting them with you. We were hunters, and we were friends. More like, brothers, really. I mean, what if that's who we really are. Like, what if we really are like, brothers, and we ought to work together, and like, we really are like, hunters." Yeah. And the rest of the conversation is Dean being like, "You're crazy. That's crazy. Are we the crazy brothers?"

C: "You're the crazy brother."

G: "I hate you." [laughs] "You're the crazy brother, not me!" And Sam is trying to say that like, "They like, scrambled my brain, and they scrambled your brain." Dean says, like, "Oh, but my family. I know them. I'm Dean Smith, Director of Sales and Marketing, went to Stanford. Father's name is Bob. Mother's name is Ellen. Sister's name is Jo." That's [both] crazy. That's crazy.

C: They literally said, "Why don't we just pair the spares in the background?" Also, yeah, I so assumed that both of them were only children in this universe, so it's interesting to hear that, like, Dean, is like, an older brother here, but like, that doesn't come with any of the responsibilities that being an older brother in his real life is, so like, he can just be like, "Yeah, I haven't talked to her in a  long time. It doesn't matter."

G: Yeah. Sam is like, "You haven't talked to them in a long time, though. And I'll know, 'cause like, I moved here because I broke up with my fiancee, Madison." [C: Ah!] It's crazy, right?

C: Yeah, that they chose her?

G: Yeah. But, you know, she called her number, and it was an animal hospital.

C: So true.

G: Love that. Sam says, "All I know is, I got this feeling in my gut, and I know that deep down, you gotta be feeling it, too. We're supposed to be something else. You're not just some corporate douchebag. This isn't you? I know you." And Dean says, "Know me? You don't know me, pal. You should go." And like, I started crying in this scene.

C: Damn. [laughs]

G: 'Cause I remembered a conversation I had with my sister when we were young, and you know when you're young, and like, young. Like, my sister and I, we have a two-year age gap, so like, we're pretty close in age.

C: Oh yeah. That is my sister and I's age gap. It involves a lot of kicking each other and saying you wished the other person was never born when you were young. [laughs]

G: Bro. One time my sister kicked me to the wall, and I hit my back to the wall, and it was like, when you hit your back on the floor and all of your breath is like, out of your body? [C: Uh-huh.] That happened to me, and the whole time, she was like, "You deserved it 'cause you're so horrible to me!" [both laughing] And you know what? I probably did. I was a pretty horrible child. And, okay, well, the story is actually super sweet. But like, one time, we're kids, probably like, 7 and 9. Something like that. She was telling me like, "Oh no! What if I get lost? How will you find me?" And I was like, "I'll know what you look like." And she says, "No, but like, what if they change my face, and like, I'm trying to tell you, 'Hey, this is me,' but you don't recognize me?" And I go like, "Well, you'll tell me, and I'll believe you." And she's like, "No, but what if they take away my memories and I don't remember? How will you know it's me?" And I go, "You have a mole on your back, and it's very big and prominent, so I'll just go, 'Show me your back,' and you'll show me the mole, and I'll know it's you." And she goes, "Well, what if they remove the mole too?" And I go, "I think I'll just know it's you, no matter what." And like, this scene reminds me of that. And it's like, [teary] they are siblings! I don't know. It's just- Sam and Dean, I feel like a lot of time, we focus on their like, conflict and like, they hate each other, and they're like, bad for each other most of the time, blah blah blah. [C: Yeah.] But like, this- when Sam says, like, "I know you," it really is less like, "I know you" in that, like, "I understand you." Like, we constantly talk about like, Sam and Dean not really understanding each other and understanding like, the motivations, you know, like, how they feel, really. But like, at the end of the day, like, you'll know that's your brother. And it's not about like, understanding him or whatever. [tearing up again] It's like- it's not about understanding them. Like, their motivations and everything. It's just like, "I know it's you." You know? [C: Yeah.] And yeah, that does mean something to me! [laughs] And that same sister did kick me to the wall. [C: So true.] And said I deserved it because I was so horrible. And it's probably true!

C: Yeah. It is interesting that they made them not brothers in this AU. [G: Yeah.] What was the reasoning there? Like, if Zachariah wanted Dean to realize who he's meant to be earlier, wouldn't he have them be together?

G: No, I don't think so. [C: No?] Because, like, the point is that- actually, I have a lot of things to say about like, what Zachariah says later, so let's go to the nitty-gritty of what Zachariah says later. But for why Sam and Dean are like, not brothers here, and is that essential or whatever whatever.

C: I think it's essential. But I'm just curious about why the choice was made.

G: Well, first, you cannot have them in the same like, power position, I think. [C: Hm.] Do you think they could have been like, brothers, but Sam is like, a call center guy, and Dean is like, an exec?

C: That probably would have been rough. It would have garnered a lot of jealousy or whatever.

G: Exactly. Like, there would already be like, an underlying thing there, if that's the case.

C: Well, they could be Huntercorp.

G: Yeah, the other option is like, they're both execs. Which, again, as I've said, if you put Sam in Dean's role, it just wouldn't work in the way Sera Gamble wants it to work.

C: In terms of homophobic. [G: Yeah.] But like, that's not like, all of the point of this.

G: Actually, I do think it's a major point of it.

C: It is a pretty major point of it. But I guess I was just asking from like, a Zachariah's motivations perspective. But like, yeah, I think you should keep talking about it from a stories perspective.

G: Like, again, as I've said, I do view this episode as like, they put Dean in here, and then later on, they put Sam in, 'cause, like, whatever is happening with Dean, there's no instigation, so we need Sam to instigate.

C: Yeah, so you're saying like, Dean would see Ian stab himself in the neck in the bathroom and see like, a ghost in the mirror, but probably just go like, "Okay. Whatevs." They could've given him the dreams.

G: That's true. But we have to keep to the themes and motifs. [laughing] And we do. We really do. I think if they're both like, call center guys, I also think it wouldn't work.

C: Really.

G: 'Cause Dean just would be Ian.

C: They could make him really like his job and dress up really nice and add a tie to his yellow shirt and stuff.

G: Yeah, but like, when Sam starts going, "But is this all your life is?" whatever whatever, like, Dean cannot make the argument of like, "I don't know. But I like having a nice life that's like, rich and expensive." This is actually one of the rare opportunities in a Supernatural episode where I'm like, "I think they did it exactly just right."

-

G: So we go back to Sam's cubicle, and he looks, you know, pissed. [C: Hell yeah.] Doesn't like what's happening. And his phone starts ringing. [C: Mm-hm!] And he just loses it. He takes off his headphone. And like, this is not like, "losing it" as in "he's angry." Like, [laughing] completely normal guy. Just like, he was like, "And now I will destroy this fucking phone." You know? And it's wonderful. [C: Yeah.] So he thinks of his headset and picks up like, the fucking iron whatever. [C: Yeah.] [laughs] He brought it with him. And then he just starts beating the hell out of the phone. [C: Yeah.] And then, like, I don't know. It stops ringing. And then everyone's looking at him. 'Cause this is like, very long, very long scene, just beating this fucking phone. And then it's over. He takes a breath, looks at everyone who is obviously staring at him, and he just goes, "I quit."

C: God bless. He's so fun!

G: He said, "Quiet quitting? Bro, I will loud quit." [C laughs] And he did!

C: Yeah. Do you think he was a lawyer, like- Is it just that he hates working IT? Like, would he be okay as a lawyer?

G: [laughs] You think like, in the middle of the case, it'd be like, "Fuck this!" And then what? [both laughing] Takes the judge's gavel and is just like, slams it down, and he's like, "Court is adjourned. I don't give a shit."

C: [laughing] Says, "My client's guilty" and leaves.

G: [laughs] Yeah. Wonderful! I think part of it just is the monotony of the job. Actually, like, we skipped it over earlier, but like, he tells Dean like, "I think I should be doing something else." And Dean says, "I think most people in your job [C: Who work at a call center.] feel that way." Yeah.

C: So what, Zachariah gave Sam like, the worst job ever because he knew that if Sam got another job, he'd be okay? Or-

G: No, it's just- I think having him have this job would make him more motivated to like, do the things that will instigate Dean's action, which is the goal of the Zachariah.

C: That makes sense. This is very fun. I just feel I normally don't- I feel like Sam usually has an ability to be calm. But like, for this one, it's like, I guess it's just like, so irritating. And also like, I don't- Maybe, like, choosing to quit your job and start hunting is sort of a scary thing. So maybe if he's like, "If I do this in such a way, where like, it's literally impossible for me to ever come back, like, that'll be what really forces me into that lifestyle, and I want that."

G: I mean, he's annoyed, obviously. But again, as I've said, the picking up the fucking stick and like, putting the headphones down.

C: That's true. It's calculated.

G: It's done in such like, a calm- like, "I've thought it out, and I have decided that this is the logical conclusion to this thought process." [laughs] I think a part of it is just like, "I want to make- like, I have decided that I will do this thing already," and like, maybe burning bridges, as you said, like, "Let's just make it so that I can never come back." [C: Yeah.] Which I think is very Sam Winchester.

C: Yeah. Love that guy. Love that guy!

-

C: So now we get a whole long Dean scene that Sam never gets because they hate him, they hate him and want him to die. So Zachariah comes into Dean's office and, you know, is checking up on him and saying like, "Oh, I hear that you're really good at your job, and it's important to me that you're happy. So how's this for a bonus?" and he slips him a piece of paper. And he says it's because he wants to make sure Dean's not going anywhere, and that he sees big things in Dean's future, maybe even Senior VP, Eastern Great Lakes Division. And then he starts saying, like, "You'll have to work for it 7 days a week, lunch at your desk, but in 8 to 10 short years, that could be you," and it starts like zooming in on his mouth, or whatever I think, on like, "8 to 10 short years," and Dean's like, being like, "Oh, fuck! This actually suucks." Dean says, "Oh, well, thank you. But I am giving my notice. I have recently realized that I have some other work to do that's very important to me. This- it's just not who I'm supposed to be." And then Zachariah, who before this has just been like, "Oh, no no no, don't quit," he finally grins. And he goes, "Dean, Dean, Dean. Finally." And then he presses two fingers to his forehead, restores his memories, and the coloring of the episode gets less saturated.

G: Oh, I love it. I love it. [C: Yeah.] It's such a seamless transition, too. I love it.

C: Pretty fun.

G: Specifically, I forgot to mention it this entire episode. The coloring this episode really brings out Sam's green eyes [C: Yes!] in a way that is so terrifying to me, personally. [laughs]

C: 'Cause he should have beautiful brown eyes all the time.

G: He should have beautiful, wide, doe, puppy brown eyes, or whatever. [C: Yeah.] Dean says, "What the hell? Why am I wearing a tie? My god, am I hungry." Which, [C: We've discussed.] we've mentioned it earlier.

C: Dean's like, "Did I just get touched by an angel? Like, you're an angel, right?" And Zachariah introduces himself. Dean's annoyed, and Zachariah says that he is Castiel's superior.

G: Love it!

C: Hell yeah. This guy literally went to Cas and was like, "You're getting like, kind of homo with Dean Winchester. [laughing] I'm going to make him gay for real." He says that he had no interest in popping down here into "one of these smelly things," indicating his vessel, which is fun. I like the ways that angels interface with their vessels differently. He says that he's here to get all of his ducks in a row because of what happened with Uriel, and Dean is like, "Oh, so this was like, a lesson. Wow! Very creative." And Zachariah says, "You should see my decoupage," which is a craft where you like, glue together paper and like, gold leaf and other things. [G laughs] Which like, this is probably like, a joke, but also, I think it'd be so fun if he actually is like, an arts and crafts guy. [G: Exactly!] I think all the angels should have hobbies and interests up in Heaven. Like, Uriel's the funniest angel in the garrison, Zachariah's the most creative angel in the garrison!

G: Every couple eons, he has a workshop where [laughing] he teaches the angels how to do paper mache. [C: Yeah.] And it's a wonderful experience!

C: Yeah, in later years, like, they make Cas pinatas and then whack them with bats.

Dean says, "Gross, no thank you," which I think is a joke that decoupage sounds like- I don't know how you pronounce it. Decolletage? You know, the French- the whatever. The thing that means cleavage. So Dean asks if this was a hallucination, and Zachariah explains that no, this was a real place with a real haunting. He just put Dean in the middle of this without the benefit of his memories. And Dean says a sentence of all time. [laughs] He says, "Just so you guys can have fun watching us run around like ass clowns in monkey suits?" [both laughing]

G: [laughing] Yeah. Exactly.

C: Exactly.

G: You got it right on the money, buddy.

C: Zachariah says, "To prove to you that the path you're on is truly in your blood. You're a hunter. Not because your dad made you, not because God called you back from Hell, but because it is what you are, and you love it. You'll find your way to it in the dark every time, and you're miserable without it. Dean, let's be real here. You're good at this, you'll be successful, and you will stop this." What an interesting thing. Are we doing a breakdown?

G: Yes. [C: Okay.] I mean, some of it.

C: Okay. "The path you're on is truly in your blood." I mean-

G: Is a crazy thing to say, because- like, "You're a hunter, not because your dad made you, not because God called you back from Hell." And it's like, independently, these things can be true. I mean, they are. But the blood in question is also like, a Heavenly-crafted- like, that is manipulated by Heaven to be this way.

C: Yeah, they set up Mary and John.

G: Eons! "Eons." [laughs] That's not true. It's not that long. But like, generations of people were paired together, were, you know, like, lined up perfectly so that it will result to Sam and Dean with this exact blood, as they say. It's so insidious to be like, "It's in your blood" as something that is like, "It is natural to you, and it's like, you're fated to do it because of what is in your body" when, like, their very bodies, both him and Sam, are like, perfectly engineered to be this way. [C: Yeah.] It's fucking crazy.

C: It is pretty crazy.

G: Like, it's so insidious! I don't know. I mean, Supernatural is- again, like, multiple times, I've said I love like, concepts of fate and free will, right?

C: Yeah, they love doing it through biological determinism.

G: Supernatural is such an interesting show in the fate and free will part because it's like, the faith in question is like, it's not a divine calling. They really- they make it a point that, like, it really is like, a blood thing. Like, it's in your blood, which is- [laughs] I mean, lots of things we can say about that. But Supernatural, I think, doesn't really do a very good job of like, telling us that like, this is terrifying! To be in a situation like this, where you cannot even deny the inherentness of something about you because from the beginning of humanity, the intention of you being born this way with this exact physicality, exact makeup has already been decided. And, like, generations and generations of your family has been, you know, manufactured and engineered in this way so that you could exist in this way is like, that is like, horror. That's horror. [C: Yeah.] And having Zachariah say this specifically is like- I mean, like, obviously, like, you know, I know about the Cupid episode. I know that that's the case with Mary and John. It's just, this line, specifically. Like, when he said it, like, I literally got chills. I was like, "God, that's actually like, so fucking terrifying!"

C: Yeah. It's also the fact that he's talking about hunters like they're like, a separate species from humans. [G: Yeah.] Which is like, certainly interesting. And like, they do this in the fucking Winchesters, too, where, like, they also seem to view hunters as like, a separate species from humans, which is why, like, the villain wants to kill all humans, because they're like, oppressing hunters by like, needing to be rescued or whatever the fuck. [both laugh] Crazy show. And that is interesting. And it also like, I don't know, it reminds me of, like, the whole, like, military families thing where, like, the largest predictor of someone joining the military is another family member being in the military, and how like, that's often treated as like, a higher calling, as well as like- I mean, there's the biological component as in like, if you like, take certain fitness tests, they'll be like, "You are meant to be in the military. Like, these are like, the physical assets you have, and you're like, wasting them by like, not joining us to like, murder people." [both laugh] So like, yeah, I think that's an interesting component of it.

The next thing that I find interesting is "Not because God called you back from Hell." So Zachariah fully believes the orders are from God. We've seen like, different angel attitudes on this. Zachariah has faith. So that's neat.

G: Also, I do genuinely think God called Dean back from Hell [C: Oh, yeah.], just because we know who God is, and he would do that.

C: "You're miserable without it." "You love it, and you're miserable without it."

G: The thing is like, "you love it" and "you're miserable without it" are like, [C: Different.] those are not, those are different things. You can be miserable without something and still be miserable with it. Does Dean love hunting? Like, again, like, it's complicated. Like, aspects of it you can love, and then aspects of it are so terrible, too. So like, yeah.

C: Yeah. Is he miserable without it, though? Like, we see Season 6, and I feel like what I see of like, the opening to Season 6, it's just like, "Guy's got PTSD." Are we supposed to think like, misses hunting and wants to go back?

G: I don't think that at all. [C: Okay.] Season 6, not at all.

C: That's also Sera Gamble, isn't it?

G: Yeah, Season 6 and 7, Sera Gamble. And that episode specifically is Sera Gamble. [C: Mm-hm.] I mean, the next line is, "Let's be real here. You're good at this. You'll be successful." [C: "You will stop it."] The way it's ordered is like, "You love it. You're miserable without it. You're good at it. You're gonna be successful." The implication there, it's like, the one leads to the other and then leads to the other and then leads to the other. Again, it's so insidious. Like, Zachariah is such a good like, evil character, 'cause like, he's well-spoken. 'Cause I think with- Well, Cas is not of this mindset with Dean. He'll never say these kinds of things to Dean. Uriel kinda does-

C: Uriel's mostly just like, "Well, you have to listen to us because you have to."

G: Yeah, like, Uriel doesn't understand, like, the concept of like, getting into Dean's head because he doesn't think it's worth it. Like, Uriel thinks Dean is below him, and it's like, "Whatever. I can make him follow anyway. It doesn't matter." But like, Zachariah understands Dean's psyche and like, is able to get deep in there. And I mean, like, towards the end of this episode, like, as his words continue- okay, let's let's do the words. So like, yeah, "You will stop it." Dean asks for clarification. Like, "Is it the Apocalypse? What are you talking about?"

C: Yeah, or Lucifer? And he goes, "You'll do everything you're destined to do. All of it. [G: Hell yeah.] But I know, I know. You're not strong enough. You're scared. You've got daddy issues. You can't do it. Right?" And Dean, like, gets angry. But Zachariah says, "All I'm saying is, it's how you look at it. Most folks live and die without moving anything more than the dirt it takes to bury them. You get to change things. Save people, maybe even the world. All the while, you drive a classic car and fornicate with women. This isn't a curse. It's a gift. So, for God's sake, Dean, quit whining about it." He says, "Look around. There are plenty of fates worse than yours. So are you with me? You want to go steam yourself another latte, or are you ready to stand up and be who you really are?" What a guy! What a speech.

G: What a speech! And like, the last part is, like, "This is actually good for you, 'cause like, you're living behind a legacy or whatever. You're actually doing things instead of just quote 'doing things.' [C: Yeah.] And you're gonna look so cool while doing it!"

C: Yeah, you get to be a straight hunter, as we said. [G: Yeah.] "This isn't a curse, it's a gift." What the hell?

G: The thing is like, these are words that Dean has like, expressed at some point, right? Is it "Bugs"? He's like, "Oh, look at these suburban people! I can never live like this. Actually, our lives, that's the good one. Like, these guys are like, just being whatever." Dean would say those things, either because he believes it or he wants to believe it due to like, an insecurity he has about his life right? And so Zachariah being able to recognize that and then tapping into it and like, feeding into those like, thought process that Dean has used to justify his life in the past, [C: Yeah.] to be able to continue justifying this is like- It's good! It's so good! [C: Yeah.] He really said, "I will get into your head, boy." And then he did. [C laughs]

C: Yeah, I do still think it's crazy that he said like, "Look around at these people working in an office. Their lives are way worse than your life." [G: Yeah.] Like, are we sure?

G: There's the aspect of Supernatural where it's like, is Supernatural trying to convince us that this is true?

C: Yeah. I don't know. It's so interesting that they think there's only two ways to live your life.

G: Yeah, obviously, but what is the-

C: Do they think- like, is the audience supposed to think-

G: What is the message trying to be said, yeah. What are we supposed to think here?

C: I haven't really thought about it before, but is Supernatural escapism for some people sometimes? Like, "I wish I was a hunter instead of my current life." Like, probably, I guess.

G: Yeah, probably. Yeah.

C: So I guess this is just for those people, right? Like, "Well, you're right."

G: I think about this, and like, the way the statement is worded, too, is like, it goes from like, "You'll save the world" and then it's like, "And you specifically are gonna have, like, some form of like, glory, or whatever in your life." I think about like- you've read Song of Achilles? [C: Yeah.] The Madelyn Miller, whatever. I think about the fact there, that, like, I don't know why I'm quoting this instead of- [laughs] No, but like, specifically the way they like, paint it in that book specifically, like, the prophecy is like, "You're either going to fulfill your prophecy, or if you don't fulfill your prophecy, the alternative is, you'll just die of old age. Like, you'll just have a normal life, and you'll fade into obscurity, you'll die of old age, whatever." And like, obviously, it's different for Dean, because, like, it's like, "The world will end or you do this," you know. And like, the pressure for Dean is like, a lot more intense than like, a king telling you you should do this because, like, these are like, angels who have, like, actual like, powers and everything. But I do think about the fact that, in that book, they make it a point to show that, like, Achilles does frequently think that, like, "I had no choice in the matter. It's a prophecy! I had no choice," even though, like, he was told, like, early on, that like, "No, actually, you do have a choice. It's either die in glory or live like, a normal life, and you chose the die in glory, but you're making it seem like there was no choice. 'Cause like, it feels like the normal life isn't even a choice at all." And I think about that, and I think about Dean, and Dean's attitude towards hunting does fluctuate a lot. But yeah, I don't know, the fact that a big part of the advertisement to being a hunter and living your fate for him is "You can look cool doing it." That's crazy to me.

C: [laughs] Yeah. Like in the movies.

G: Like in the movies. [laughing] Isn't it so funny that the episode that we're like, "And we care enough about Dean to talk about his character in depth" is the one where like-

C: He's not him.

G: - he's very little, does not have his memories, is not himself. [C: Yeah.] Oh, Dean.

C: I mean, he's a lot more likable in "Yellow Fever" also.

G: Yeah, we're gonna have a field day in like, "Remembering Dean."

C: Oh, yeah!

G: Well, anyway, what do we think about this episode? I think it's neat.

C: I liked it. Even though like, [laughs] almost the entire point of it is homophobia.

-

G: Best Line/Worst Line. Can I just choose like, Zachariah's entire speech?

C: Zachariah's whole speech? Sure.

G: Well, because I also am thinking about the Sam speech.

C: Yeah, that was my second choice.

G: "This isn't you. I know you." really gets to me. And then Zachariah's entire speech is wonderful. "GMILF" is pretty funny. [both laugh]

C: Best line of this episode!

G: I mean, they don't even have any women in this episode. And like, the only mention of a woman is GMILF. [both laughing] Mimi, right?

C: Yeah. Well.

G: Can we put that as a misogyny point?

C: Maybe. I mean, the guy's supposed to be sleazy. I don't know. Maybe. But yeah, I think I liked when Sam quoted Bruce Springsteen that "I don't like my job. I don't like this town. I don't like my clothes. I don't like my own last name. It feels like I should be doing something else. There's just something in my blood."

G: He said, "I don't like my clothes. I don't like my face. My hair's fine, though." [C laughs] And it literally is fine.

C: Yeah, yeah. It is whatever color pleases God. And it literally is. I mean he chose that shit, probably, Chuck did.

G: Exactly. Worst line? I think Sam's like, "Dude!" when Ian started pocketing the [C laughs] office supplies.

C: Don't be such a dick, Sam. Um, I mean, yeah-

G: You see that shit, you just go, "Hm." You do a little giggle, even, if you're in the mood. And then, yeah, you're done.

C: I think I was bothered by Dean's line about not going to the gym because of how I took it, and I also thought that Ian's whole making fun of Sam for his dream stuff was also like, overdone. So I guess those are the two major negative moments.

G: Well, spread those sheets.

C: Spread those sheets. Let's see. Misogyny, it is weird that, like, no women work in this office. [laughs] But it's not a real-

G: No, but the thing is, when there's no like, people of color in the episode, we 0 it.

C: Yeah. So it's probably the same thing.

G: I still am not super comfy with the fact that we do that. [C: Yeah.] I mean, there should be something. Like, you can't just keep getting away with it [C laughs] because you don't involve people of color in your show.

C: Well, sometimes they're racist without people of color being there, like in "Houses of the Holy." [G laughs]

G: Exactly. Okay, so let's just 0 the misogyny and racism in this one?

C: Sure, yeah. Homophobia.

G: I think we should give it a 5.

C: Are we- okay. All the way there?

G: 4, maybe.

C: Yeah, I would say 3 or 4.

G: I think this is a 4 or 5.

C: Yeah, okay, it is intrinsic to the episode. That part is true.

G: It's very intrinsic.

C: Okay. I think a 4 makes sense. Yeah. Wow! Is this our first 4?

G: I think so. Ever? With anything. I think we were never really like, going above-

C: A three in the past, yeah. Plus, we've only been doing this kind of scale for two seasons. Like, before that, we were just doing Dean individual points, yeah. Well, there we are.

G: There we are, then.

C: IMDb. This is enjoyed, I'm assuming. It's famous.

G: Oh, for sure. But do we think it's higher than "On the Head of a Pin"?

C: No, I don't think it's that.

G: I don't think it is, but I think it should be.

C: Huh. Bold words.

G: Bold words. I'll give this a 9. [C: Okay] I think this is a 9.0.

C: I think it's a little bit lower than that. I think it's an 8.9. But maybe I'm lying. Well, hit me with the truth.

G: Let's see. It's an 8.6.

C: Oh, that's low.

G: Much lower than I thought. Why is that?

C: Yeah, it's the same as "Death Takes a Holiday." Are people like, "Dean wouldn't do that." [laughs]

G: This one's called it topical.

C: This one calls it an unnecessary story.

G: This one called it-

C: "- a rebuke of late capitalism and a social satire piece." Huh.

G: "Not revolutionary or anything, but one of the more politically overt episodes." I mean, it is true.

C: It is one of the more politically overt episodes, I suppose.

G: In that they exist in a world where-

C: They mentioned the economy one time, yeah. [both laugh] This person said that they didn't like that the Ghostfacers were going to come back. That's so sad. Ghostfacers are great.

G: This one says, "You have to dial up the suspension of disbelief. Just watch it. Don't think about it."

C: What? I loved thinking about it.

G: I love to think about it. Obviously, this person has never had a podcast [C laughs] where they talk about and think about an episode in depth for multiple hours.

C: Yeah. This person says that the pre-credit sequence is too long. Well, no, it's not. [laughs] It's very important to have this AMV.

G: This one calls it "greatest filler episode so far." [C: It's not a filler.] I would not call this filler, like, at all.

C: I guess they don't know about the Michael plot is the thing. So like, the Zachariah shit, I feel like it's enhanced a lot by knowing what Dean's ultimate fate is. I think if you don't know that, you're like, "Okay, he's being dramatic."

G: Yeah, well. That’s it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties. Next week, we will be discussing Season 4, Episode 18: "Monster at the End of this Book." Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts. C: Follow us on social media! We are on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. Our official tag is #BABPod, B-A-B-POD. Thanks to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod, and check out our merch at babpod.redbubble.com. G: Also like, we're probably gonna be putting up our like, post-episode like, whatever on Ko-Fi now, 'cause it's too long. [C laughs] We've been making episodes that are incredibly long. [C: Yeah.] Just so it doesn't fuck too terribly with the runtime. You can email us at bustyasianbeautiespod@gmail.com. See you guys next time! [both] Bye!

[guitar music]

[captain-ozone]

Mid-Year Book Freakout Tag

I'm super late!!! It's Aug 8, 2023, and since BookTok/BookTube intimidates me, I'm posting here.

I've read/listened to 72 books/audiobooks this year so far, so here we go! Credit for the tag goes to BookTubers Chami and Earl Grey Books.

Best book you've read in 2023: "Best" and "Favorite" are two very different things. If I remove the emotional components and sheer feral love I have for certain books and look at it from a "craft" standpoint, the answer is probably Tomorrow & Tomorrow & Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin or Babel by RF Kuang.

Best sequel you've read in 2023: GOLDEN SON BY PIERCE BROWN. Red Rising has me by a chokehold and by god does Golden Son hit all of my checkboxes.

New release you haven't read yet but want to: A Day of Fallen Night by Samantha Shannon. I still have yet to read Priory of the Orange Tree too. I'm waiting for the former to go paperback so I can match the Priory copy I have lol.

Most anticipated release for the second half of 2023: A few weeks ago the answer to this question was Light Bringer (book 6 of Red Rising). But I've since read it (AND IT WAS SO GOOD), lol. As of today, the answer is Ruthless Vows by Rebecca Ross.

Biggest surprise: Nettle & Bone by T. Kingfisher. I listened to this audiobook from my library on a whim, and I just fell in LOVE with Kingfisher's untraditional heroine and the capacity she has to invent her own fairytales from the bones of others.

Biggest disappointment: Swordheart by T. Kingfisher. After Nettle & Bone, I had the munchies for more of T. Kingfisher's work. Swordheart isn't bad, I guess, but I definitely did not find the same level of enjoyment here that I did from Nettle & Bone.

Favorite new author (new to you or new debut): PIERCE BROWN HANDS DOWN

Newest fictional crush: Idk if I have one, tbh. Better question is who my newest blorbo is. That honor goes to Darrow of Lykos, Sevro au Barca, and Lyria of Lagalos, all from the Red Rising series.

Newest favorite character: Oh. I forgot this was a question. LOL. Still, I somehow have a different answer for this one than I do "favorite blorbo." Newest favorite character is Tress from Brandon Sanderson's Tress of the Emerald Sea. I found her so relatable and likable.

A book that made me cry: Will I ever read a book by TJ Klune that doesn't hurt so good? I read Under the Whispering Door this year, and I honestly think I'd recommend it to anyone. It's soul-food at its finest. Jade Legacy (Book 3 of the Green Bone Saga) is another that had me sobbing.

A book that made me happy: TRESS!! Genuinely such a wholesome story inspired by The Princess Bride. You don't need to read any of Sanderson's other works to appreciate this one. It's so sweet and fun.

Most beautiful book you bought/received as a gift: All of Brandon Sanderson's Secret Project Kickstarter editions have been stunning, but Yumi and the Nightmare Painter is next level. If we don't get an anime/manga adaptation, I may lose my mind.

The book(s) I need to finish before the end of the year: Lol, too many. My TBR is extensive and ever-growing, and I often go through my TBR in a pretty chaotic way. As in, I have a lengthy list on hold via my 3 different library cards on Libby. xD I think the only thing I for SURE want to read is ACOTAR. I'm sick of feeling left out, lol. I did Throne of Glass via audiobook, so ACOTAR is the next on the docket. I'm definitely planning to read that one with my physical copies because I heard there's more spice, and I've decided spice via audiobook is really, really weird. Don't really dig it.

ANYWAY, please feel free to fill out and tag me! I say "my TBR is extensive" like it exhausts me and I can't possibly suffer any more, but I WANT MORE OKAY???

[azuisreading]

Nothing Between Us by Manda Mazanec

Meera Taylor is ready to start the life she’s always dreamed of. Gone are the days of living out of her car and hiding from her past. With an apartment she can finally call her own and a new career, Meera agrees to give the small town of Morganville a chance at being her forever home. The only problem? She can’t seem to evade Gabriel Henry, the one man she was told to avoid and yet the same sexy grump who seems hell-bent on stealing her independence—and her heart. Earning himself a reputation as a womanizer, single dad Gabe has zero interest in settling down. He doesn’t believe in romance or soulmates. He’s well aware of Meera’s less-than-stellar opinion of him, and that’s okay. She isn’t his type anyway. But when Meera’s estranged husband shows up in Morganville, Gabe finds himself coming to her defense and coming lip to lip with what might just be his needle in a haystack.

Review

I was part of this fabulous book’s ARC team and am writing a review because I loved it. A new addition to my comfort reading shelf.

The title line appears one time in the book and then it seems to appear again but it’s different. And I loved it. I also loved a lot of the story details, if not all.

Meera gave me clumsy girl vibes at the start, but she’s just an unlucky woman and with that I can relate. Her past is heavy and hasn’t finished with her yet, and though I haven’t experienced many of her circumstances, it wasn’t an obstacle to relate with her (finally, because it’s a common struggle with female protagonists).

Gabe… sighs. It was love at first encounter. And it was hard not to fall in love again each time he reappeared in the scene. And his POVs?! To die for. He can try to lie to himself (and Meera too, given the case), but, as the cover says, one only can do it for so long.

I love, I love, I love soulmate hints. Just special conditions like this one for second opportunities. I haven’t dived enough, but it’s just so much enjoyable when he’s a single dad (and the daughter is so lovely). When the kid gives their permission and consent because the person the parent wants is just so right, for the kid, for the parent, for both of them, it’s just so… beautiful and fulfilling. When he’s so stubborn to admit it, but has obviously fallen hard, and is showing it so much for everyone but is so blind to notice it themselves. I will always love a bit more communication, but one can only do so much, and we are never perfect as humans. Oh! Of course, the protective man, and not just because he’s such a good boy, but because he just doesn’t want you to touch her. Even when she’s fighting for her independence, she accepts that the feeling he gives her is so empowering.

And there’s so much forgiving and proper healing that I haven’t seen before! You can be a bad person and not deserve it, but they will do everything in their power to make you go on the right path. Not only that, they will try to help everyone they can to not pass through what they lived through. There’s no reason to not help each other. We’re all here trying to do the best we can and we don’t have to do it alone, we can do better and reach farther with help.

This book gives so many pieces… I find courage, peace, support, and healing. It was so empowering and inspiring. So endearing and dreamy. A bit frustrating, because c’mon! But happy. Happy and calm and satisfying. It’s so much more than just a romance. It’s fresh air.

Phrases that I liked so much that I marked them while reading

«“It looks like you hit your head pretty good on the way down,” he says, placing a small ice pack on my forehead. “Though I don’t know how because you never made it to the floor.” “Oh,” I say as I touch my forehead, heat rising up my neck. “This is from earlier.” I leave out the part where I lost the fight with the utility pole.» — Chapter Two.

«And I have a hard limit when it comes to making a fool out of myself. Once a day is enough.» — Chapter Two.

«Her eyes grow dark as she says those four beautiful words I live for. “Get that fucking bastard.”» — Chapter Four.

«“It’s complicated.” “Then uncomplicate it.” I suck in a breath at the demand. Normal people would have taken my comment as a sign to stop asking questions. But Meera is anything but normal.» — Chapter Six.

«I force out the oxygen trapped inside my chest and do what lawyers do best. I deflect.» — Chapter Six.

«Once she’s chucked the carpet into the dumpster, she studies me, as if she’s trying to figure out whether she should let me into her apartment or throw me out with the carpet.» — Chapter Six.

«“Come on. We can talk and walk at the same time.” “How do you do that?” I ask, propelling my feet forward again. “Do what?” “That.” “Well, if you must know, I place one foot in front of the other, making sure to shift my weight evenly as I go.”» — Chapter Nine.

«“You’re making this more difficult than it needs to be. Just ask me what it is you want to know.”» — Chapter Nine.

«“You left your purse and room key at the reception.” “Nice try. My purse was on the nightstand, next to the bed.” “It pains me to have to tell you how much of a gentleman I really am,” he says solemnly. I scowl again. “By the time we got back to the bed-and-breakfast, you were out cold. I realized you didn’t have your purse, and since I knew you had an early flight out, I tucked you in and ran back out to get it for you.”» — Chapter Nine.

«My stomach twists. Because I want her to be bummed. I want her to want me to stick around. Hell, I want me to stick around.» — Chapter Ten.

«I know I shouldn’t enter the surgical room, but tell that to the side of my brain that actually gives a fuck.» — Chapter Twelve.

«“Honey, you don’t have to explain a thing. If Sophie wants to draw a picture for you, you’re already a rock star in my book.”» — Chapter Thirteen.

«“I tried to convince her to stay. I offered her a warm meal, and when I walked out of the room to grab plates, she disappeared. Took Sophie with her.” Evelyn breathes out a long, steady breath. “You have no idea how hard that was. To know that child was about to endure more trauma all because I turned my back.”» — Chapter Thirteen.

«I turn back to get Meera’s bag, but Tom stands in my way. When I move toward him, ready to barrel through him if I have to, he put his hands up. “Okay. Okay.”» — Chapter Fourteen.

«“Thank you,” she says, “for all of that.” She waves at the door and the juice box. “But I could have handled it.” “I know, but I’m glad I got here when I did. I wouldn’t want to lie to the police. [...] We’d have to hide the body, and I’m not good at lying. Never have been.” Meera throws her head back and guffaws.» — Chapter Fourteen.

«and though her laugh is my new favorite thing, her confusion is adorable.» — Chapter Fourteen.

«“He knew my grandma would smother me with love but worried that I wouldn’t survive without knowing how to hang cabinet doors.”» — Chapter Fourteen.

«but catching Tom there, trying to hurt her, was enough for me to want to camp out on her deck and make sure Mr. Up to No Good didn’t return.» — Chapter Sixteen.

«“Darlene wasn’t my type.” “She’s gorgeous. I’m surprised she isn’t your type.” “We’re two very different people.” “Ah, so she’s nice?” “Funny,” I growl.» — Chapter Twenty.

«“I want to know.”» — Chapter Twenty-One.

«“How do I fix this for you?”» — Chapter Twenty-One.

«“A raccoon? That thing looks like a man-eating vampire with four legs.”» — Chapter Twenty-One.

«I stomp on my brakes and then look in my rearview window. No one is behind me, thank fucking God. “You what?”» — Chapter Twenty-Five.

«“You won’t be inconveniencing anyone. You’re going to have to learn that it’s okay to lean on others. I think you’ve been on your own for far too long. You’ve forgotten what it’s like to be cared for.”» — Chapter Twenty-Five.

«“I need to hear it, Meera. I need to hear you consent to this.”» — Chapter Twenty-Six.

«“You can lie to yourself all you want, Gabriel, but I know you better than you think. I’ve never seen you look at a girl the way you look at her.”» — Chapter Twenty-Nine.

«“I saw how fast you ran to her at the bar when other men took interest,” she continues. “And the way you pulled out the chair for her at dinner…” She laughs. “You’ve invited plenty of people over in the past, but never, not once, have you looked like you were completely captivated by a woman’s presence.”» — Chapter Twenty-Nine.

«Every time, I assumed she didn’t want to inconvenience me. But I realize now that it was never about that. She wanted to learn how to do things on her own. She didn’t need me to do those things for her. She just needed the support.» — Chapter Twenty-Nine.

«“I’m sorry,” I start. It’s as good a place as any.» — Chapter Twenty-Nine.

«And there it is. The first memory. When she sauntered through the front door to the Tipsy Brew Garage three years ago. That’s the moment I lost the ability to think straight. Ever since that day, I’ve been a fucking mess. Except it’s actually the day I cleaned up my mess. Because three years ago, I feel for a woman I didn’t even know. Because breathing the same air she breathed made me want to be a better man. And her presence in my life again after all this time might mean I finally have the chance I missed out on then.» — Chapter Twenty-Nine.

«My response to Gabe wasn’t a lie. I am okay. I’m in my apartment with my door locked, and I’m breathing.» — Chapter Thirty.

«“I’m sorry.” “Sorry? Stop that shit. Every time you say those words, you’re taking responsibility for something, and you didn’t do anything wrong.”» — Chapter Thirty-Two.

«He places his hands on either side of my face and dips his head, brushing his nose against mine. “I’m going to kiss you right now. Please don’t pull away.”» — Chapter Thirty-Two.

«“Did he hit you?” This is when Meera grows quiet. I know this kind of silence. I’ve seen it before with my mom. “Ask her that in a different way,” I say. Meera and both officers turn to me in unison. “She doesn’t want to lie to you. She won’t say he hit her if he didn’t actually hit her. But ask her if he hurt her. Look at her wrist. Look at her throat.”» — Chapter Thirty-Three.

«I can’t help but feel a bit of pride when she repeats that last part. Because she took my advice, and that might have been what saved her life.» — Chapter Thirty-Three.

«“You’re staying with me until the cops have Tom behind bars.” When I huffed at his ridiculous suggestion, he grabbed a bag from the top shelf of my closet and pulled out a drawer, ready to pack the damn thing himself. With a frustrated huff, I pushed him out of my way and tossed clothing and my toiletry bag into the duffel he refused to set down.» — Chapter Thirty-Four.

«“If I get obnoxious, I give you permission to put me in my place.”» — Chapter Thirty-Four.

«“But this morning, when you wouldn’t wake up, when those paramedics stabbed you with that glucose pen and you wouldn’t respond… the fear I’d been running from? It was nothing compared to what I felt then.”» — Chapter Thirty-Six.

«I can’t take it any longer. If he tells me he’s not done one more time, I’m going to lose it.» — Chapter Thirty-Six.

«I’d never been invested enough to fall in love, but maybe that’s because I hadn’t met the right person.» — Chapter Forty-One.

«“I need to say something, but I don’t want you to panic.” I’m already panicking enough for the both of us.» — Chapter Forty-One.

«I can’t believe I’m doing this, but Jack was right. I was scared. I’d fallen for Meera, and I didn’t know what to do with that. But I won’t hide anymore. I’ll face these feelings head-on, and if Meera doesn’t feel the same way, then I’ll deal with that later.» — Chapter Forty-One.

«He waits, holding me hostage with a look of pure adoration.» — Chapter Epilogue.

[lt-north]

a very high effort gabriel paint experiment paired with a very low effort drawing of a very silly man, i lvoe him and ultrakill act II so much